#*does mental math bc I'm dumb*

[laertesthelocalstranger]

[Cassiopeia took a deep breath as she sat in the apartment. She looked down at her hands. On her left, the phrase ‘This too shall pass’ written in black sharpie. Such a perfect contrast to the Everything.]

[On the other. ‘FIND LAERTES / POPPET’. She really hoped Laertes would recognise his former name, and not his latter.]

[Cassiopeia took a deep breath. She was certain she knew where she will show up. She closed her eyes, letting the sound of Everything fill her mind.]

- Cassiopeia (@vapor-web)

Scene Five

Cassiopeia opens her eyes to find herself in a thrift shop. It is dead silent.

[vinylfoxtalks]

I need media to focus less on stereotypes in American schools. A lot of American media where it has teenagers/young adults, the jocks are really stupid, the weird kids are slackers, the preps don't care, etc.

However, at least in my experience, that's not at all how that works. I mean, in my school, I was taking Dual Credit & AP classes with jocks, debate kids, some preps, and the 'weird' kids (theater kids, mentally ill students, etc. Anyone who would be painted as 'weird' in a high school movie bc they're not immediately popular). Those were the people that were doing the hard classes, and killing it. I mean, those were the people that graduated with Highest Honours with me. That same cast of people (albeit different people) are also in the Honors College program at my college.

I mean, in some ways, it makes sense. If you're in sports, you are held to a standard where you have to get good grades and do well in school, and a lot of those kids are going to push that further, taking AP classes and such.

I want like a love story (not that I read those) where the main character is a jock taking two AP classes and a couple Dual Credit classes in their senior year, complaining to the love interest about how they've got a bunch of homework and tests and they don't understand the topic that they're on right now while they're balancing their games.

Then two routes for the love interest: super artsy fartsy, does literally everything to avoid something like math or science and they procrastinate on all of their homework, which stresses the fuck out of the main character. Or they're also in some of the AP and dual credit classes and the main character and love interest take turns helping each other on topics that they're struggling with and doing really well on, or struggle together.

I'm sick of dumb jock getting with the nerdy, top of the class student, because most schools (if not all schools) hold sports kids to a high standard when it comes to their education. I'm sick of the weird kids slacking off all the time (and even those that did, like my best friend who I took 2/3 AP classes with, still did relatively well in school). I'm sick of the preps thinking they're above all that and working with the debate kids and the weird kids for their project without complaint.

Bring me the smart jocks that graduate with Highest Honours and do a backflip on the stage because they can and the principal loves them. Bring me the weird theater kids who sit together in groups backstage while waiting to go on hunched over their AP Calculus homework.

And bring me the love interests that either met the main character through class in 7th grade and they only talked for the first time despite having almost every math and english class together (because when you're in honours, you get the know the cast of like 50 kids that rotate being in classes with you) but only talked in like Junior year. Or the love interests that couldn't care less about math and sciences, they're too busy reading and drawing and procrastinating on their homework who stopped taking math classes the second that they were no longer required to take math.

[mike-wheeler-ik-what-you-are]

RANDOM!!! STRANGER THINGS!!! HEADCANONS!!!!

*puts them in a blender*

el has autism and is too shy and kind to say when someone is making a noise that's bothering her. max is not. she scolds the party every time (especially mike) they do stuff like chewing loudly.

el also starts keeping a diary, sometimes she steals sketches will doesn't even remember having made and puts them in her diary.

she tries to cook brownies for joyce once and almost burns down the kitchen.

the brownies come out surprisingly good tho.

when max is in the hospital, she makes some for her hoping she wakes up.

coincidentally, max wakes up the same week. they are now called "el's miracle brownies".

when they're alone, el drives max's wheelchair with her superpowers.

now that max is blind, every time she's walking with lucas, he tells her to be careful whenever there's some minor obstacle. she always answers to "ok I'm not dumb" but secretly loves it.

while max was in a coma, mike used to rant about how he hates himself. one day she just tells him he's actually a good person. he cries. she regrets it immediately.

and now... time for the byler hcs!!!!

once mike tells the party he's gay, lucas and dustin figure out immediately he has a crush on will (they're not dumb, duh). they tease him about it all the time.

on the other hand will is going INSANE because what does it mean that mike is gay???!!! and does it have something to do with that one time he told will he was his favorite person???!!!??!!

max says it's obvious it does have something to do with that. will still doesn't believe her.

both el and max are supportive of will but make fun of him every time because he has a crush on mike and come on, that guy has like, one braincell.

as I said, they're still supportive though, so they make a plan to make them go on a date.

will asks mike out but immediately starts overthinking it because what if he thinks it's just a 'friends' thing and he's reading the whole situation wrong.

on the other hand mike-rocks-for-brain-wheeler is completely panicking because ok this is not a date, (it is, lucas says), why does it feel like a date then??

he goes to nancy to ask for advice and worst idea ever, she already knew from jonathan will was going out so she does the math. she totally has to find out from jonathan what happens later. he mentally makes a note to act like she doesn't exist for the next two weeks.

anyways the date goes well and mike tries to kiss him but will just goes in for a hug.

two seconds later he's processing what just happened and he's like hold up did you just try to kiss me?

and mike is like I mean yes but like no I mean if you want to. did you want to kiss me?

and will just kisses him.

will tells jonathan everything, who tells nancy everything, who starts teasing mike. mike literally wants to go live in hopper's old cabin (which is now empty bc hopper moved in with joyce).

once mike tries to throw a pebble at will's window at night. the window breaks. he doesn't try a second time.

will proposes in 2003, they can't get married though so they promise each other that they will as soon as it's legal (they still get married illegally in 2003 though, courtesy of jim hopper)

joyce cries like a fountain on that day.

they make a comic together and they travel the world. one day they decide to just move to italy.

[aetheve]

hello! I came from your Icarus dorm assignments, can I get sorted into one?

favorite character: I like them all but Floyd is my number one <3

favorite teacher: Mozus trein, I like his cat

zodiac: Virgo sun, Sagittarius rising, Cancer moon

rice purity score: idk

thing appealing about me: I like to think I'm pretty ❤️

book smarts or street smarts: is neither a option??? but I guess street smarts

dry texter or not: dry texter, I've been told that too many times 😭

introvert or extrovert: introvert

cats or dogs: CATS!!!!! I like some dogs doe just some

favorite song: none but my latest obsession is Honeymoon Un Deux Trois cover by dongdang

lead or follow: follow

─ I like story based games and otome games! I hate and despise horror and gore. I only have a small group of friends, and a casual relationship with everyone else. I never did dislike someone or had a crush on someone before. My friends had said I was kinda insensitive and too indifferent about some things. They did say I'm nice to hangout and talk with doe, only if I made effort to make friends.

─ making and keeping relationships is hard for me especially if I don't see them everyday like school or smth. I would feel lazy to text them or anything, just not making any effort to start or continue anything. ofc I'd say hi and stuff if I see them but nothing beyond school unless I know them for very long alr. I rarely trust people wholely, just some small doubts here and there, I never act it out doe. I love gossip and drama lol, hate it when I'm involved doe but they're entertaining.

─ I don't rrly know how to react to insults, I just say okay and go. I say thanks for compliments or I know for close friends and family. I've been called dumb so many times I don't even care anymore 😭 I haven't failed any of my subjects except for maths, as long I graduate and don't get hold back everything is good. I'm mentally and physically weak.... and lazy and easily unmotivated. I've been told I look scary doe, ppl. socially awkward, I'm super forgetful, straightforward. I tend to be more honest, I'd feel bad for lying 😰 (sometimes) I have a good poker face so many tend to think I'm saying the truth when I'm just messing with them lol.

─ I like humour and laughing, that sounded kinda weird. I like people with humour, I laugh easily too. I hate exercising and I'm bad with technology which is kinda funny cause i don't think I can survive without any entertainment honestly and also bc they say I'm addicted to my phone sometimes 💀

is this enough??? hopefully I didn't miss anything, sorry if it's too much, thank you if you took up my ask! ❤️❤️ stay safe and hope you have a nice day or whatever timezone you're at

—- 🐉 WELCOME TO DIASOMNIA! a dorm based on the thorn fairy's spirit of nobility. twisted from sleeping beauty.

malleus enjoys going on walks with you, very specific i know. you don't actually have to be talking to each other he just enjoys your vibez yk? you're his go to person when he needs to complain about the inaccuracy of magic class. if someone insults you, you'll both stand there with blank expressions before you look at one another wondering 'what now?'

sebek admires you, not as much as malleus though. you'll be his living diary. late at night you'd listen to him talk about his day and then he'll just fall asleep on your shoulder. i'd suggest listening to him in his room so you can just leave him to sleep when he passes out.

lilia love scaring you. you could be trying to sleep when he appears in your slightly opened closet looking like mf annabelle. it doesn't matter the time, he will go through hell and back if it means frightening you trust me. at some point, he deleted all your apps causing you to faint because your progress?! gone?! however if someone insults you he will roast their ass dwdw.

silver often naps, head resting on your lap, while you play on your phone. no words are spoken, you two just enjoy the presence of the other and that is all there is to it.

your close friend out of your dorm is idia. you two met online and you recklessly told him you attended the nrc and the rest is history. you're over there during school hours so you can study together without going to class and play games until school hours end because you have to go pick up your 'kids.'

"child of man, what's the matter?" malleus burst through your door, light from the outside flooding your room. your shaking hand pointed towards your closet, there you saw two red dot thingies that resembled eyes.

"uhh, malleus is everything alright?" sebek inquired, popping out from behind the housewarden. he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he watched malleus open your closet curiously. "huh.. who would've guessed yn'd be the type to have a life size lilia plushie.."

"this isn't a 'plushie'" malleus sighed, picking up the thing by its head. "it's lilia." a 'boo!' accompanied malleus' statement from the smaller fae.

"ha! you looked so scared–"

"we'll be going now."

bonus:

it took a while to calm your racing heart, you couldn't make yourself move as you eavesdropped on the not so quiet conversation outside,

"that wasn't funny, quit your giggling, malleus scolded.

"yeah, lilia, you should apologize–" sebak chimed in, slowly realizing his mistake weh nthe fae disappeared.

"sorry!" lilia reappeared above you, upside down for a minute to see your reaction before disappearing for the night.

"...in the morning." sebek added at the sound of your scream.

"done!" you giggled, turning your phone screen to your blue haired friend. "got luke's ending before you did, woo!" you collapsed on his bed with a sigh of relief at the released tension."

"eh? but that's impossible!" he stood examining your phone.

"but it isn't." you looked at him, amused by his distress. "i'm tired.." you mumbled, rolling onto your side.

"uh – uhm, sleep i have to figure out how on earth you beat me at this, it – it just isn't adding up?" he went back to typing away on his computer like a man on a mission, "i'll wake you up when it's time. unless you cheated…"

[apostateprostitutes]

So mad that not only do we have to spend 40+ hours of our lives at work, but also my work demands we be open a half day on Saturdays, and that there have to be 2 people every Saturday, so I work 2-4 Saturdays in a month. I shouldn't have to work 6 days a week 80% of the time. I also shouldn't have to be needlessly exposed to the general population right now by having our lobbies open. Almost every other bank in our area is still drove through or appointment only. We've already had to close branches temporarily because we have had tellers/other employees get covid. What the fuck. We also were open yesterday, which was dumb because almost every other bank was closed for the federal holiday. We are open on THREE federal holidays. "To set us apart and better serve our community". Fuck this shit. We couldn't run any cash advances or call to verify funds for large checks cause all the other banks were closed. We also couldnt buy or sell any money to/from the fed. I hate that 75% of my waking hours seem to go to this job. I'm so exhausted, physically and emotionally and mentally, almost every day. To top it off I am in a night class that goes from 4 - 8 pm on Tuesdays. It's the only way I can work on school still. But it also means that i have to be the opener AND skip my lunch hour in order to leave in time to attend class. I used to really like being a teller. And I guess I dont mind the job, but our bank's policies fucking suck. There are jobs that are so much worse, but I'm struggling to take care of myself the bare minimum amount because standing and walking back and forth all day, running transactions and making sure I don't let any policy or regulation violations slip through, having to be extremely accurate and doing math all day, performing customer service all day - to a lot of rude ass people... and people who want to blame the bank for THEIR fucking up, people who think they should be exceptions to FEDERAL REGULATIONS, and old people who are slowly turning senile and can't understand what you're explaining half the time, and rich old white men throwing a FUCKING FIT at us because the bank charges them for money orders and cashiers checks....SORRY!!!!!! ALMOST EVERY SINGLE BANK DOES THAT!!!! IF YOU'RE GONNA CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNTS WITH LIKE 250K IN THEM BC YOU DON'T WANMA PAY $6 FOR A CASHIERS CHECK THEN GO, CAUSE I WONT MISS YOU. I'm just mad. But what else can I do? I can't work retail or cashier or do physical labor because of my back, my sciatic nerve, and my feet. I also can't go back to a 'customer is always right' environment bc no. They are not. The customer is dumb ass hell. I work here. Not you. I have the math, records, bank policies, and regulations I can show you to prove you wrong. I wish I could stay home and get high and make art and food and play with my pets all day. I wish I could spend my afternoons walking around state parks and napping in my hammock by lake superior. Or at the very least. Give me some sort of job where I can either work with animals, or do clerical shit while interacting mostly with just coworkers.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

1 - I feel like this message will be all over the place, I'm sorry. I just have to get it out. So I'm questioning my sexuality and have been for a while now, but I'm afraid to really think about it. I think I might be bi but it's hard to tell because I'm fairly sure I might be on the ace-spectrum as well which makes it extra hard to realize attraction since I don't think I feel sexual attraction. Or maybe I do but I'm just that dumb and don't get it?

2 - And at one point I thought I might actually be a lesbian bc my (romantic) attraction to men was paired with like a lot of nervousness and not actually wanting to date them if it came to it. But now that I have a crush on a girl (my first same gender crush that I can think of) it’s still the same; I’m super flustered around her and would do ridiculous things to impress her and just wanna hold her hand but if she were to ask me out I know I’d panic and decline.

3 - It doesn’t help that I’ve been depressed for years and I know my mental health is in a very bad place (but I’m getting therapy for it). Does that affect my confusion about my sexuality? I’m also very afraid to pick a label like bi or ace or both just in case I turn out not to be, I don’t wanna be “that straight girl” who tries to belong where she doesn’t you know?

4 - Doesn’t help that I’m terrified of the backlash I could potentially get if I was lgbt+, I don’t know if I could handle it, especially from my parents. I’m sorry if this is a lot, I’m just so confused.

I’m gonna go through this bit by bit again because there’s a lot of different issues and questions here. It’s gonna be a long reply but I don’t know how to condense it even more.

“I think I might be bi but it's hard to tell because I'm fairly sure I might be on the ace-spectrum as well [...] maybe I do but I'm just that dumb and don't get it?”Sexual attraction can be a difficult concept to understand especially if you’re on the ace-spectrum. But you’re not “dumb” for having trouble with this. You simply live in a society that treats sexual attraction a standard experience that ~everyone~ is supposed to have so it’s not really talked about what it really means. Of course it’s an individual thing to an extend but generally speaking, sexual attraction means you can look at someone (even a random stranger) and feel a desire to have sex with them. It doesn’t mean one has to act on that desire but it’s certainly a “oh this person is hot - I wanna bang!!” in the most primitive sense lol I can imagine that being on the ace-spectrum can make it harder to explore what other types of attraction you might experience and to which genders. But it’s not impossible. There’s plenty of asexual/biromantic people and I’d recommend trying to talk to some of those as well and just generally get involved with the ace community.

“my attraction to men was paired with like a lot of nervousness and not actually wanting to date them if it came to it [...] but if she were to ask me out I know I’d panic and decline.”I mean... what you talk about regarding men can be a sign of being a lesbian but I guess it can also just as well be a sign of being asexual since “dating” and “relationships” are often associated with sex and though some ace people do have and enjoy sex there’s also sex-repulsed asexuals. So if you genereally don’t want to have sex or are iffy about it that explains why you backed off whenever you had the chance to date someone - bc you thought this would have to lead to sex which you may or may not want to have. Regarding the girl you currently have a crush on, the whole ~being ace and possibly sex-repulsed~ can also play a part plus internalised queerphobia. Since you struggle to accept your queerness and you currently don’t dare claiming a label for yourself it’s evident that you have a lot of shame that needs to be unpacked. As long as you have this much anxiety about your (a)sexuality and potential biromanticism your gut reaction to a girl’s advances will be panic. It’s not surprising. Crushing on a girl forces you to think about being bi and since you’re scared of facing this reality it’s a logical consequence that you’re freaking out!

“It doesn’t help that I’ve been depressed for years [...] Does that affect my confusion about my sexuality?”Yes, it definitly can affect your sexuality and/or your questioning process. Being queer in an inherently queerphobic society is a form of constant low-key (at best; high-key at worst) trauma. A lot of queer people have some form of PTSD just from ~being surrounded by everyday queerphobia~. But even if your depression has totally different reasons, it can still affect how you deal with sex in general, how you experience romance, how you experience yourself. Questioning one’s sexuality is (unfortunately!) not a safe thing to do for many people which means it can be anxiety inducing. And queer people have higher rates of mental health problems that non-queers. That’s a fact. Anf if you’re already depressed for whatever other reason and then add anxiety over being queer to the mix, well... you do the maths! It’s hard, man. It sucks. But it’s great you’re already getting help already. I’d hope your therapist is queer-friendly so you can talk about these things with them. And additionally you should try to get some queer counselling if there’s something available in your area. If your therapist isn’t queer-friendly then I would strongly advice you to find a different one.

“I’m also very afraid to pick a label like bi or ace or both just in case I turn out not to be, I don’t wanna be “that straight girl” who tries to belong where she doesn’t you know?”’Okay, look. I recently answered two asks that touch on that subject and I don’t think I can say it better than there so I’m gonna quote myself and link you to them so you can read the whole thing if you want.

1) Even when you’re not entirely sure of your bisexuality yet, questioning people belong into the community as well. The “Q” in LGBTQIA+ stands both for “queer” and for “questioning” - some people even use a version of the acronym that has two Qs to highlight that! So you belong whether you already identify as bisexual or not. The LGBTQIA+ community is supposed to be an environment where you can safely explore your sexuality - even if you turn out not to be queer. You still belong for as long as you are questioning because “questioning” is a queer identity. (x)

2) “Straight” women are allowed to experiment and explore their sexuality. I put “straight” in quotes here because a lot of these women might actually be questioning or they are bisexual and struggling with internalised biphobia (which won’t get better if biphobic lesbians keep telling them they are “just one of those straight girls”). And even the women who do end up realising that they really are straight have had every right to experiment. It’s their sexuality and they can do with that as they please as long as they don’t hurt anyone. They don’t owe anyone to come out as queer. “Only to say they are straight” sounds like it’s a huge disappointment when all these women did was live out their sexual curiosity. Any half decent queerfeminist should know better than to police women’s sexuality - even when the women in question are straight. (x)

“Doesn’t help that I’m terrified of the backlash I could potentially get if I was lgbt+, I don’t know if I could handle it, especially from my parents.”I understand it can be terrifying, especially if you know your family won’t support you. But the thing is... no matter how much potential backlash there is, you won’t stop being queer. You cannot stop. You cannot run away from your sexuality. You can certainly try but it won’t make you happy and it will take a toll on your mental health. This is not to say that you ~must~ come out. You can be as much out or closeted as you want and as is safe for you. But you cannot convince yourself of being something you are not. There will probably be some people you can safely come out to, others you’d rather not tell. That’s the on-brand queer experience. Maybe one day you can afford to not give a fuck about what your parents think, even if it comes at the price of losing them. That’s gonna be a problem for future!You though. And if you work on self-acceptance through therapy and through connecting with the queer community, building a support system - then it’ll get easier over time.

It’s unfortuantely very common to be scared of this but being scared won’t make you any less bi or ace or whatever type of queer you wanna be. And yes, I say “wanna be” because at the end of the day what label you use and feel comfortable with is your choice. You cannot technically be “wrong” about your sexuality. Even if you pick a label now and then later realise another one suits you better - then you just change your label. No harm done.

And even if you go through a period of questioning, try on multiple queer labels and then have the grande epiphany that you are actually just a basic ol’ heterosexual heteroromantic cisgender person - you did not harm the queer community in the slightest. I wish more straight cis people would question their sexuality and gender and come to the informed conclusion that they really are straight and cis - instead of taking it for granted because our society treats it as the default. What’s the point in questioning if only people who already know that they are queer were allowed to do it?! What’s the point if everyone who questions their sexuality ~has~ to realise that they are queer?

So.... long story short... sounds like you have the very common Queer Anxiety on top of your existing depression and they are probably affecting each other and make each other worse. You should definitly try to work on your internalised biphobia and acephobia and talk to your therapist about it. I have advice on internalised biphobia here - you can use those methods for asexuality as well.

Maddie