#*fuck car dependency

[coulsonlives]

Pretty much.

[velvetwyrme]

which deception would have an sti AND fuck cars?

in reference to: https://www.tumblr.com/penny-anna/767952128217104384/imagine-youre-a-mechanic-in-the-transformers?source=share

okay. so. first off. anon, thank you for sending me this because the idea that you read that post and just went- "hey, you know who i should pose this question to?" and sent it to me- is hysterical and i lvoe u.

anyway theres also a Texty answer under the cut if you want to read that, because i genuinely DO have thoughts about this, but i wanted to draw that comic because this ask made me laugh very hard when i saw it in my inbox.

also, the thrilling conclusion of the comic answer:

he fucked that car!!!!!!!

hi! Texty time. I think a lot of them would have/be one but not the other (either has a STI or is a Carfucker) but i included some of those here anyway because i think my thought process was funny for some of them. this is all purely my own opinions etc. etc. no basis for anything only vibes. i went through a lot of options and came to a lot of conclusions.

to reiterate the Chart for claritys sake:

Soundwave: No STI and no Carfucking. This is true across all versions of Soundwave imo. Rumble and Frenzy are a solid no on the STI front and a solid yes on the Carfucking.

Starscream: no STI, no Carfucking (despite what Soundwave thinks). TFP!Starscream specifically might have an STI though. Sorry man. Skywarp definitely has/had a STI but gets it treated on account of his trinemates. No Carfucking. Thundercracker would fuck a car but doesn't have an STI.

Shockwave: ??? - I'm not sure I want to know. "Once, as part of an experiment" was the original thing I wrote for his answer lol. True across continuities as well.

Anyway. moving on...

My actual answer for Megatron: REALLY depends on continuity. Here's a sample:

G1? Yeah, probably both. I can see it.

IDW/MTMTE? Nah. Maybe? ... Nah. I feel like if he had an STI it'd have been back when he was a miner. Would not fuck a car.

Earthspark? I feel like no STI but yes to the Carfucking. Except he feels really guilty about it after. I still haven't watched ES but this is the impression I get from him.

TFA? oh god. i don't know... i don't know....... he probably fucks cars. No STI.

TFP? Yeah absolutely are u kidding me? Yes to both.

Constructicons: I feel like they'd be a yes to both, but not at the same time, so they wouldn't have been the one/s to transmit a STI to a car. Also Hook would be ON TOP of treatment. Once they ALL got infected after combining into Devastator, and that was miserable for everyone. Nobody has fessed up to being the one who had it in the first place, but now they have treatment on hand just in case.

Also while on the topic of combiners... I think some of the Stunticons are also pretty good candidates for STI/Carfucking. Motormaster, Drag Strip and Wildrider in particular shfkgbekfbk

I considered Tarn/The DJD and Overlord just because of how freaky them guys can get, but I think Tarn runs too tight a ship for that to happen, and Overlord is preoccupied with. worse things. The Scavengers on the other hand... sorry to Misfire, I can see him giving a car a STI. Relatedly, Grimlock would fuck a car but not have an STI.

Who else................................ wait.

Astrotrain. I can see it. Okay bye im going to sleep this took me too long to reply to fhfjfbrmfbdj

[marzipanandminutiae]

I don't go here but uh

me: oh no so all the Black Widows had ovary-removing hysterectomies? are they on HRT, since they need to be conventionally attractive, conventionally feminine women and there's a risk of hormone changes compromising that? they also have increased danger of bone density loss, mood swings, pelvic organ prolapse, sexual dysfunction...you're going to get into that right? because I fully believe that a secret Soviet assassin factory would do involuntary, unnecessary hysterectomies, but they'd also want their Sexy Assassins at peak Sexy Assassin performance. and even the women who've gotten out probably don't want to deal with those symptoms if they come up. so are we going to see Natasha taking estrogen, or...?

Marvel: no, they just can't :( have babies :( and by the way they sometimes think they're monsters because of that :( but that's all a hysterectomy does and we would know because we are very smart cis men!!!!

[wasabi-gumdrop]

thinking about modern au Kabru

ivy league college student, probably studying law and political science on a full scholarship. first time living away from Milsiril so he has to promise her, yes mom i’ll call you at least four times a week, no mom i don’t need your amex black card, yes mom the normal credit card is fine i need to learn how to budget like a Normal Person (it has a limit of $20k — that’s not normal Kabru).

Milsiril insists for a long time that she’ll just get him a house off campus so he can have his own space (aka a place she can drop by anytime and possibly live a few months out of the year just to be close to him) but Kabru puts his foot down and tells her the best way he’s gonna make friends is by living with other students (bye mom).

his floor in the coed dorms is the party floor and he always makes sure to invite everybody (his nightmare is accidentally leaving anyone out and having them think that he doesn’t like them). somehow it’s always a good time, everyone leaves with more friends than they came with, it never gets totally out of control, and plenty of girls who are interested in him (and a lot of guys too tbh) bring tons of baked treats so there’s always free food. Kabru is the RA’s favourite person to have in the building (even though Kabru himself is messy but most of the people he’s friends with are nice and clean up after themselves).

he has a porsche (Milsiril gift for his 16th bday) but he’s adamant about not driving it unless he absolutely has to (because he doesn’t wanna look like a douche). BUT he never says no when his friends ask for rides (so he ends up driving all the time anyway). he actually contemplates selling the porsche and going for a more practical car but Mickbell is like ‘dude you are not taking this away from me.’ Kabru sighs and decides to keep it because his friends (Mickbell) like being chauffeured around in a fancy convertible (Rin, Holm, and Dia don’t care, they’re just glad they don’t have to walk to the grocery store).

he’s probably on a casual texting basis with most of his professors and you know he’s going to all their office hours, grabbing beer with them just to keep chatting about life outside of school. and that’s how he winds up in some super secret faculty group chat where he’s now privy to all the college administration gossip.

Kabru is elected for student council during his freshman year and he’s probably the favourite to be sc president one day.

he doesn’t really date (gets too in his head about how he doesn’t wanna ruin any friendships) but he does hang out one on one with a lot of girls and treats them all really well. he probably goes so far out of his way to be platonic that he flies a little too close to the ‘Just Like One of the Girlies’ sun, he kinda forgets that most people interpret it as flirting coming from him. which leads to a few awkward conversations. people feeling led on, a few angry jealous boyfriends, scathing dms about him being a girl stealing homewrecker.

it’s such a nightmare for him and he needs it to end right now. so he begs Rin to ‘date’ him for a week or two and then publicly dump him just so the entire student body gets the message that he is Just A Friend.

Rin stares at him for a few seconds. then she laughs. she laughs and laughs. she laughs for a crazy long time. and then eventually she goes, ‘wow you’re an asshole, Kabru. no i won’t be your fake girlfriend. you’re gonna suffer and i’m going to enjoy it.’

and that’s when Kabru has a moment of enlightenment. ok yeah. asking for that is probably really selfish and mean. maybe he needs to think about girls’ feelings more and that’s maybe more important than his deep seated need to be liked, and when has Rin ever been wrong about anything.

he apologizes. and so begins one of the more serious talks he’s ever had with Rin about being okay with not being liked.

he thinks he can really turn over a new leaf. the whole ‘not worrying about what other people think’ thing goes pretty well — up until Kabru meets the aloof professor for his Monsters and Myths class who keeps forgetting and mispronouncing his name.

Kabru has never needed someone to like him So Bad, he needs Prof. Touden to like him as a matter of life and death, and he’s willing to look stupid for it (fails a midterm on purpose to justify begging for one on one tutoring)

[angermango]

i see your "Rachel Bronev". i also see all those true and wonderful "Rachel Bronev deserved better/should have lived/could have escaped/could have joined Targent/no fridging etc" takes. and i so bring to you:

Rachel Bronev survives, escapes Targent and becomes the Descole of the AU

TL;DR she heard her husband now runs the cult that kidnapped them and separated them from their children, and she's making that everyone else's problem (but especially Targent's).

i admit i haven't come up with a villain name or a proper set look on her costume yet lol. but she looks fabulous anyway.

(i also call it the "Putting the 'Domestic' in 'Domestic Terrorism' AU" for fun, and because i haven't come up with anything better/funnier to name yet :U)

[chicago-geniza]

so like. how bad is The Economy. i know some of you are Economy Understanders. can you explain it to me not necessarily like i'm 5 but like i'm a medium stupid adult with zero practical or theoretical knowledge of economics. i don't know what the line on the stock market graph represents and i don't actually understand what "stocks" are in the abstract

[flieslikeamoron]

@onirislanding gave me a teen comedy AU prompt and I wrote a Breakfast Club AU but I’ve been thinking there should be an Adventures in Babysitting steddie AU for years so I tried writing a little of that too. We all agree Chris had more chemistry with the car thief than the college boy, right? 

-*-

This entire thing is Robin’s fault. If it weren’t for her desperately begging Steve for a ride after getting stranded at the bus station, he would be watching TV at the Wheelers’ right now. The kids would be having semi-supervised fun in the basement. He would be bored, but in almost no danger of being shot by car thieves while falling from the ceiling. And he would have snacks. 

Steve pauses at the end of a very careful step. He looks down to make sure none of the scary guys, who are probably currently discussing how to get rid of their bodies, have realized he and the kids have been making their escape via metal ceiling beam for the last five minutes. It feels like it’s been an hour. Fuck. Looking down sucks. He’s never really had a thing about heights, but he’s realizing now that’s probably because he’s never been so close to falling to his death before. No one seems to have noticed anything. The kids are all slow walking in front him, Max in the lead, arms outstretched for balance as they head toward an open window. Dustin’s foot slips with a slight scrape, a bit of dirt drifting down onto the meeting going on below. The kids freeze. Steve holds his breath, forcing himself to look down again. Still okay. 

Max pauses when she reaches the window. If there’s not a way down, they’re going to be so screwed. She leans halfway out, giving Steve another minor heart attack. And then turns to flash them all a thumbs up before climbing through. Steve breathes a little easier as he watches the rest of the kids disappear out the window. Lucas, then Mike, then Dustin. Steve looks down one more time as he climbs onto the ladder. They may actually get away clean.

Steve glances around when he gets down to the ground, trying to orient himself. The kids all cluster around him like he has any idea where the fuck he is or how to get home. Great. First step. Get the hell away from here. The kids are starting to point, half of them south and the other half north. He can see them on the verge of talking, and makes a shushing gesture. He picks up a loose pipe he sees lying on the ground, just in case. Then freezes as the other reason they’re in this mess steps out of the shadows.

Eddie. The guy they accidentally interrupted in the middle of boosting a car. The guy who told them he’d get them to the shop where Steve’s Beemer is hopefully being repaired. The guy who said trust me.

Steve scream whispers “Run” at the kids, cocking the pipe like a bat.

“Wait,” Eddie whisper yells back. Yeah right. 

Just then a commotion spills out of the warehouse. Sounds like someone noticed they’re not locked in the office anymore. Steve takes off running after the kids with Eddie close behind. 

“I’m trying to help you,” Eddie says, not bothering to whisper. He keeps pace with Steve for a moment, before Steve surges ahead to overtake the kids and lead them down a turn. He has no idea where he’s running, what he’s leading the kids toward. Just hoping for the best, just hoping to get out of sight as they take another turn. He can’t see the rest of the guys chasing him, so if they can just lose Eddie. Find a place to hide maybe. They’ll figure out where they are once they give him the slip.

The kids turn to look at Steve as they all run up against a dead end. If it were chain link maybe they could climb it, but it’s brick. They could really use some super powers right about now, but El’s in California with the Byers family. And she lost her powers anyway. They’re going to have to double back, right into the yelling voices and pounding feet getting closer by the second.

“Come with me,” Eddie says, heading back up the alley. “I know a place.”

Steve doesn’t really see how he has much choice. If Eddie’s trying to help those guys catch them all he needs to do is yell, “Over here!” Steve grimaces and motions for the kids to follow. Maybe if it is a trap, he can at least stall them with the pipe long enough for the kids to find a payphone or somebody to give them a ride… 

Eddie pulls open a door they ran right past before, holding it open for the kids. He motions for Steve to come in, half bowing with a dramatic flourish of his hand. He slams the door shut behind them when Steve steps inside and holds a finger to his lips. They listen to the pounding feet pass the door and run up against the dead end. There’s some confused shouting, and then it sounds like they’re running the other way.

“They use this entrance to load in equipment,” Eddie says. “They always forget to lock it.” He motions with his hand again, leading them all down a hallway covered in graffitti and posters. Steve can hear the roar of metal music through the walls.

“If this is a club, they’ll kick the kids out.”

“Only if we get caught,” Eddie says with a grin. He opens another door, and they all troop into what looks like some kind of junk room. A bunch of stacked chairs, some broken amps, piles of outdated merch. “Grab a seat,” Eddie says. “We’ll just wait here for a second to make sure they’re not still looking for us.”

“How do you know this place?” Dustin asks.

“Played here a few times,” Eddie says, like it’s no big deal.

“You’re in a band?” Max says.

Steve can see some stars starting to form in the kids’ eyes.

“He’s a car thief,” Steve reminds them. Unfortunately they think that’s pretty cool too. Dustin asked Eddie to teach him to hot wire while they were getting abducted mid-grand theft auto.

“I have many talents, babysitter,” Eddie says, leaning in closer to Steve than Steve is strictly comfortable with. Steve’s heart starts to pound, his stomach doing a weird little flip, as Eddie flashes him a wide smile. 

[coulsonlives]

Paving over cities for automobile traffic has ruined peoples' ability to get around. We gotta stop doing this.

[oneroomjestershow]

Playing the days again makes me wonder what if all Angels had a diary where they would write different things about each day and it would be showing of their different perspectives and personalities and their choices and paths of the game, it would be cute

[charmcoin]

WHY ARE WE NOT KILLING AND EATING THESE PEOPLE

[mo-ok]

dream sentai team, I have dubbed them

Super Sentaisuke

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

I love using my new car I bought because you basically need a car in this country and then having the dashboard screen that is legally required because all cars in the US need to have backup cameras, and having that screen be difficult to navigate while driving bc you can’t just go by touch so you have to look at the screen which means you’re not looking at the road. And then I love getting home and seeing I got 3 new emails from different subscription services telling me my free trial has run out for their service that only works on that screen even though I literally never used any of them but was forced to opt in to free trials and to give them my email as a part of the car buying process for some reason

[elliecoreunderscore]

In the bike lane strait up doingg "it"

And by "it" haha, let's justr say, freaking out :)

at the inadequate infrastructure that has been handed to me by my city :))

[blunderpuff]

engineers on Star Trek: "yah it's going to take 16 hours to repair the warp core" engineers on Star Trek: *repairs the warp core in 7 hours* engineers at the car dealership: "yah it's going to be about an hour on that oil change" engineers at the car dealership: *takes 3.5 hours on that oil change*

[technicontrastron]

What the fuck is up with german car obsession. Coworker saw me coming in from the bus stop and not from the parking lot and started questioning me on the elevator why i don't have a company car. It's unfathomable to him not to want a "free" car (it's not) and without a car you're nothing in Germany anyway. Well fuck cars that's why. Why don't you have a JobTicket.

[enterstellars]

once again asking for a better train system in the midwest because what do you mean i’m going to see a band i’ve wanted to see for years today and i gotta drive 5 1/2 hours to see them rather than just hop on a train and get some work done or something