#*i did some tests before so this isnt me being ENTIRELY without experience

[bokulikescomics]

Finally embroidering pentiment menu illustrations on my pant cuffs and here are my favourite lil freaks together

[beautifuldarkmind]

tw // s*lf harm, su*cidal ideation (sorry)

Hey, it’s the creepy NHS anon here.

Thank you for responding to my ask! I’m sorry you had such a rough time getting a diagnosis. You shouldn’t have had to go through all of that. Honestly it sucks that the NHS is so reluctant to diagnose anything mental health related.

When I was 14 I thought I had depression and anxiety. I finally convinced my mum to take me to the doctors when I was 16. The doctor was super nice. She tested my thyroid function just to make sure nothing else was causing my feelings, then referred me to CAMHS. That was…an interesting experience. I remember asking my counsellor to diagnose me, but then at the next session she said she couldn’t, that it “wouldn’t be helpful” because I was still growing. Now that I think about it, one of the days I was at school and during a class I was furious for some reason. I even said to a classmate that I was willing to fight anyone who got in my way. Despite my mum disagreeing with me, I cancelled my appointment that day. (My mum was worried they’d stop my sessions all together if I cancelled, but they didn’t.)

Fast toward to recent years and I’ve been on and off attempting to get a diagnosis. Last year (so when I was about 18) I asked to be referred to the autism clinic, and thankfully the GP accepted, but the clinic is still closed and even when it’s open I’ll still have to wait, possibly several years. Then I made another appointment (different GP) to be referred to a psychiatrist. She refused, saying that GPs are trained to deal with mental health issues. I brought up OCD, so she asked where I got my information from. When I told her I researched it online, she just brushed it off and then did the typical depression/anxiety test and she said both were severe, then said “take some drugs” (which is didn’t because I didn’t trust taking drugs prescribed by someone who did a 3 minute yes/no type quiz without actually fully exploring my issues).

I spoke to a different GP just over a month ago to get a fit note for my Universal Credit. It was supposed to just be to make adjustments to what I was supposed to do, but he didn’t ask what the note was for, so he marked unfit for work. Which is great because that’s secretly what I wanted but feared being judged by people around me for thinking I needed that (particularly my parents). I mentioned that I thought I could have OCD and CPTSD, and he didn’t deny it but he simply said CBT helps for both. He then asked if I was currently doing CBT and I said I’d done it before but I quit. (That’s a whole other story but tldr I really don’t think it was for me, or at least the “therapist” wasn’t.) He said he would send a self referral link.

Fast forward to a few days ago and I had another appointment with him to discuss my fit note (because it only lasts for a month and you have to go back to renew it, which sucks). He asked if I had referred myself to CBT and I said I hadn’t yet because I didn’t want to, and he said “please do that for me” in a somewhat stern voice. I then brought up BPD and I think he said he would refer me? Honestly I was a bit overwhelmed because he called 40 mins early and I was in the car with my dad, so I was super weary of him asking questions about what I was saying to the doctor (but he didn’t). He then brought up PD support groups, which I’m considering doing, but you have to call up the place and I literally hate phone calls. Oh, speaking of which, all the appointments from the autism one onwards were all on the phone, so not only was I struggling to process what they were saying to me most of the time, but I was also so anxious that I couldn’t articulate my feelings properly. :)

Anyways, I am 20 now, which I only mention because I feel the same as what you mentioned. My brother is married, my childhood crush is married, my friend who I introduced to my friend group who then proceeded to discard me is getting married. Everyone seems to know exactly what they’re doing. They all have friends. But not me. I haven’t had friends since I was 14, and even then I don’t think that friend group was entirely wholesome. They made me feel like an outcast, like I was weird, that I needed to be more like them and not be like me. Which has probably contributed to me having a very vague sense of identity. And I feel like I’m still 14 and yet everyone is expecting me to behave like an adult. I’m supposed to know what I’m doing with my life even tho I literally cried in the shop when I was pressured to choose between 2 pizzas.

I have no support system. My own parents seem very dismissive of my problems, equating everything to social anxiety. When I’m stressed out of mind to the point of feeling suicidal, my parents say “that’s just life”, which…well, feeds into the feelings. For years I’ve felt stressed. Then if I’m not stressed I feel absolutely nothing. And if I’m not feeling empty I am angry, sometimes for no reason. And if I’m not angry, I am curled in a ball trying to bottle up the urge to self harm and batting away suicidal thoughts.

It’s like I have a huge chain pulling me down underwater and everyone else is in the beach drinking cocktails or something. Sometimes I thrash and try to get people to notice, but people think I’m just having fun. Other days I just feel like letting the chain pull me down.

Please forgive me for rambling and probably not having a very consistent train of thought in this post. I have a tendency to blab on about my “problems” (if they even are that), I guess as a way to connect? Idk. This post makes no sense.

I hope you’re having a good day. <3

- 🌸✨ (in case I send another ask again, but I’ll try not to because I don’t wanna bother you)

So sorry you're going through something similar. My GP sounded exactly how yours was, the typical anxiety/depression test and then just throwing those at you.. they dont seem to be trained in diagnosing and they dont want to hear anything more either. It's honestly almost impossible getting a diagnosis through them, the system here is really messed up... its just disappointing and seems to be failing so many people including you.

It does sound like you're going through a hard time, it's not nice especially when you feel a loss of self identity, you dont even know who you are and just feel lost in life. I think that was definitely the main point of realising something was up.. I had a VERY distorted view of myself and others around me and that was why I'd often self sabotage everything and then I'd feel so empty and angry at the world and just explode...

If you can go privately then do so, therapists are not able to diagnose and they will usually tell you 'we don't like to label' but even without a diagnosis you can still see if you can access DBT therapy. Amazon also has lots of DBT workbooks that I've used and its helped me to really understand myself!

If you often feel invalidated by your parents then that is known to cause BPD or borderline traits, especially if you've been suffering with mental illness in childhood and they tried to claim that it was nothing....you mentioned anxiety and I was told the approach my parents may have took to my severe anxiety is what brought on many of my symptoms of BPD. You start to feel ashamed of yourself for feeling that way because your caregivers make it seem like the issue isnt important and you feel as if your feelings dont matter also because that is how you have been made to feel.

I'm not saying this is definitely the cause but in my case I was told that the constant feeling of invalidation may be why I have such a warped idea of myself and why I cannot regulate my emotions. I was never told HOW to regulate or shown how to, just told to ignore my emotions and now I dont know how to deal with them😀

but yeah I'd really recommend taking a look at some of those dbt books online or reading more into it so you have a better understanding of yourself. You've already taken the first step and that's identifying that something may be wrong so you are self aware and clearly want to change for the better 💕

I hope everything works out for you, it's not nice feeling this way but you've got this 🥺🙌

[hyperactivelittlebee]

The oddity at Area77(Hermitcraft)

BEFORE YOU READ, KNOW THIS:

Doc did add some fox DNA to fill in gaps in the chain, this is unexplained in the fix so I wanted to put this here.

This takes place in a AU where Doc going through the infinity portal led him to an entirely different dimension instead.

Ren strummed his guitar as he listened to Grian and Impulse chat across the campfire, their heads adorned with flower crowns as colorful as the conversation. As adorable as they were, his thoughts were not focused on the conversation between the two other hippies, their words slowly slipping together until they were completely foreign to him. The Lycan stood up, putting down his guitar before walking over to the treeline of the manmade cliff hiding the camp.

He squinted, his eyesight sharpening as he searched the grounds of Area 77, huffing at the sight of the empty terrain. No one had seen Doc leave the sight for days, and whenever Scar was out he would always be in a rush- muttering about how he needed to get back to the sight as soon as possible. It was suspicious- everyone on the server knew that- but Xisuma had checked it out and had come back saying they were just expanding the underground.

Ren combed his fingers through his long brown hair, a soft growl bubbling in his throat. No. They couldn't be simply expanding the underground- they were acting too suspicious for that- and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

Meanwhile, inside Area 77- things were bubbling to the brim.

Doc paced, eye scanning the mess of papers in his hands in anger. Each paper was filled from top to bottom with various notes, mathematical equations, formulas, and descriptions- all his and Scar's handwriting. His eyes scanned the papers furiously, trying to figure out the problem with his notes just as he had been doing for weeks.

Every. single. formula. was. perfect. They had calculated every ounce to a T without a problem, each calculation was flawless- 

"So why the fuck isnt it working?!" The creeper hybrid yelled before roaring in frustration and slamming his robotic fist down on the metallic surface, making a sizable dent. Scar jumped in his seat in shock, eyes wide as saucers and shaking. He had just started dozing off when the loud smash sounded and gave him a near heart attack, but now he was fully awake. Doc looked at him, immediately regretting his outburst as he saw the fearful look on the younger man's face, "S-sorry Scar..." His tone was strained, but softer than before making Scar's shaking slowly cease, "I-its fine...I was falling asleep anyway..." The brunette rubbed the tiredness from his eyes.

They tensed when an alarm went off, spinning towards the monitor. On the screen, it showed Ren walking towards the hangar doors with a surprising scowl on his face.

"Shit..." Doc cursed under his breath before grabbing his trident and running out, "I got it Scar..."

"M'kay..."

Doc flew up to the hanger just in time to see Ren pry the doors open gently, the eyes of the pair locking. "Doc." The Lycans voice came out forced as if he was trying to sound simply intimidating but instead, it came out as if he was frustrated with the creeper hybrid.

"Ren. What did I say about coming here? You aren't allowed. It's strictly forbidden." Ren shrugged, trying to relax, "I thought I'd come offer to help you and Scar expand- it's taking you quite a long time."

Fuck. Doc had forgotten about that excuse. He forced a grin, "Thanks, but no thanks. Scar and I have got it covered." Suddenly, the creeper hybrid took in the other male's posture and he narrowed his eyes, "But that's not really why you're here is it."

Sighing, Ren huffed, "Alright, alright. I wanted to know the real reason behind you and Scar's behavior- What the hell are you dudes workin' on?"

"You don't need to know Ren."

"I DO need to, the curiosity is killing me Doc!!"

"Curiosity cannot literally kill you, Ren, now go home and don't make me use my trident and drag you out by the scruff." Ren sputtered, gasping in offense, "You wouldn't dare!!"

"I would."

The two held glares for several minutes before Ren made a mad dash for the ladder all of a sudden, Doc lobbing his trident at him in instinct. The trident snagged his shirt, pinning him to the wall, "I told you, Ren. Now come on." He pinched the back of Ren's neck- his scruff- and took his trident from the wall, dragging the whining younger man out the door. He was going to drag him all the way to the gate, when suddenly Ren shouted something, "C'mon man- Your not my mom or my dad, let go!!"

Doc froze, eye widened as he murmured, "Mom...or dad..." The creeper let go of Ren, eyes wide, "Holy shit, I've got it!!!" He turned and dashed back to the hanger, leaving behind a confused Ren laying on the lawn as he locked the hanger back up and jumped to the bottom of the ladder, sprinting to the lab, "Scar, I think I've got it!!!"

"What??"

"I figured out what we were missing!!" He laughed, beyond ecstatic as he grabbed his notes, "We have the DNA from a female- the mother- but we never added the DNA for a FATHER!!" He whipped around towards Scar, "Quick, I need some of your DNA- Do a cheek swab-" Scar tensed, "What? Why me?"

"Would you rather give Creeper DNA to an already potentially dangerous foreign entity, or would you rather give it human DNA?" Scar was silent, internally face palming as he grabbed a clean Q-tip and did a cheek swab.

He handed the Q-tip to Doc, who put it in a separater. Scar walked over to the machine, entering the formulas and measurements, silently praying for Doc to be right. He and Doc were on their last DNA sample of the unknown female- they had one last shot at this.

"Alright, Stand back with glasses!" Scar grabbed his goggles and ran behind the safety glass with Doc, sealing the door.

The Redstone lit the chamber up in an ominous red as the machine started to shake, flickering between blue and green lights as it powered on. A shadow slowly formed inside it, looking more and more human-shaped as it molded itself.

Doc and Scar's hearts were in their throats, almost weeping in joy. It was working- they were recreating an actual body and technically reviving someone dead. It started to move into the memory transfer, working to restore the being's memories. This was a scientific breakthrough- bigger than the infinity portal, or the weather machine, it would mean everything.

The two scientists' minds were running at a hundred miles an hour with possibilities. Bringing back long-dead societies and servers- reversing Permadeaths- it was all endless.

Then something went wrong.

The alarm went off, the buttons on the machine blinked red, the monitors flashed with "System failure" all over them, "Shit!!" Scar shouted, excitement turning into fear in seconds.

Doc scrambled to do something to stop the process- The body was more likely already formed, it was proof enough, "Scar! Shut it down!!" Scar nodded and slammed his hand down on a button labeled "Abort", all the systems shut down at once and the only light coming from the emergency lights around them.

The pair shook, staring into the room. There was a soft hiss as the body chamber began to open, prompting Doc to spring into action and race into the room.

The chamber door opened and sure enough, in the cushioned cradle was the small form of a baby, still and silent. He ran in, kneeling down by the cradle and cautiously scooping it up.

The first thing he noticed was that it was a female, the idea instilling itself as Scar ran in immediately with a soft-looking baby blanket. The second noticeable thing was her short, incredibly pure snow-white hair and two large silver fox ears followed by a long fluffy silver foxtail protruding from her lower back. The third thing he noticed, was that due to aborting early her body wasn't finished forming. She was missing her leg up to her kneecap on one leg, and the other was missing halfway down her shin- the ends just being clean stumps. 

Her skin was a milky white like a ghost.

A pit formed in the brunette's stomach as anxiety settled in, Doc's fingers pressing against her pulse, his eyes searching for some sign of life. Scar's swallowed dryly, the pure fear settling in that this- the endless nights of exhaustion, the multitude of trips in and out of the Infinity portal just for simple excavation, the endless formulas and equations and mountains of crumpled papers- might've all been for nothing.

Doc held his breath as he prayed for a pulse, "Please...please wake up..." He murmured, eye searching the baby's face for anything- any signs of life.

Nothing came.

The creeper hybrid felt like he was going to break down right then. He slowly placed the baby back in the crib and walked back to the door, the exhaustion creeping back in on him as devastation weighed heavy in his heart, "This experiments over. I...I can't do this anymore Scar. I thought I could handle this- but I can't..." Scar could see it in his eyes- the hurt, the pain, the devastation.

Doc had wanted this to succeed more than anything else. Sure, it was proof he could play Notch for a brief moment! Just long enough to stick it to everyone who told him he would never be able to. However, it was also personal.

Doc and Scar had been searching ruins from the infinity dimension, quickly realizing they had stumbled across a dying- or perhaps already long-dead- species settlement. They searched and searched, digging until they came across an almost fully decayed body of one of the natives. They tested the DNA sample only to find that the DNA matched nothing the servers had seen before- then Doc had the idea. He wanted to use the dead tissue to try and rebirth the species.

Was it a good idea? In hindsight, not really.

Was the idea of potentially playing Notch and creating life alluring? Absolutely.

But now was their last chance- having used up the last strands of DNA they had from the remains- and it had failed for what, the 27th time? They had made it far enough to almost fully create a body- so, so close...but in the end, they couldn't give it life.

Scar gently patted Doc's back, "Okay...you just...You go rest-"

A wail cut Scar off, his eyes growing as wide as saucers. Doc whipped around in surprise, his voice caught in his throat as his eyes locked on the babe, who squirmed and wail in the cradle- eyes screwed shut and little hands reaching for empty air. Scar felt all his anxiety and fear wash away with that wail, tears of relief gathering in his eyes.

Doc walked over to the cradle, reaching out to pick up the baby before flinching back, looking at his prosthetic arm with uncertainty. Instead, he reached down and gently petted the top of the baby's head. Slowly, the baby calmed, instead making soft cooing noises.

He looked to Scar as he drew his hand back, "Scar, you pick them up. When you do, they'll probably open their eyes and imprint on you." His voice was faint, weary and strained. Scar raised a brow, "Why can't you? You're the one that conducted the experiment after all...Are you uncomfortable with the idea of it imprinting on you?"

Doc looked at Scar, tensing and biting his lip- his sharp teeth digging into his bottom lip, "It...its not that I'm uncomfortable! I-i just- They've got YOUR DNA, your technically their father a-and- and-...god dammit..." The creeper hybrid cursed under his breath, unable to formulate better words as Scar gave him a look that screamed unconvinced, "I just-" He sighed in defeat, looking at the brunette with a rare moment of vulnerability, "I don't think...having her imprint on me is a good idea."

"Why not?" Scar's voice was soft, silently telling Doc that whatever he felt, Scar would at least try to understand.

"Scar...Look at me. To a child- I look like a monster under the bed! I mean- I intimidated and terrified the hell out of everyone on the server when I first arrived simply by appearance alone! I'm missing an eye, half my face, and an arm. I replaced them with metal plating on my shoulder and face, a robotic arm, and a cold, emotionless, glowing red laser-like dot for an eye." He ranted, his voice remaining quiet enough to not disturb the baby but loud enough to get his anger across, "But that only added to my already scary appearance. I'm practically a giant with how tall I am but instead of being mostly lanky like Mumbo and X, I'm well built with muscles- which I'm not complaining about that necessarily, but a child sees how big I am and normally they run the other way crying!" He strode closer towards an unwavering Scar, towering over the smaller man with a snarl on his face, showing off his teeth as his voice grew firmer, "I'm a Creeper Scar- I walk among everyone else and talk with them as if I'm one of you but I am still just that- A mob made to instinctively blow up and kill as many as I can. My teeth are sharp to let me consume meat, My skin is tough like iron armor and rough like gravel to protect me, my nails are meant to slash and draw blood- Fuck, the only thing I've managed to not break or hurt has been Redstone machinery! I'm meant to kill-" He drew back, eye filled with anger at not Scar, but himself, "Not to raise something as delicate and soft as a baby. I don't....My DNA might have been blended with a little bit of humans- My father might have been a human- but that instinct? The one that gives parents an urge to love and protect their child? I don't have that in me. You do, Scar."

The room was quiet as the two stared each other down, Scar standing stubbornly.

"With all due respect, Doc...that's the most moronic thing you've ever said."

"Excuse me?" Doc scoffed, shock written on his face. Scar narrowed his eyes, "Doc- look at me. Do I look like the nicest guy?" Doc's eyes scanned the younger man's face, his eyes drawn towards the 3 large scars across his face, left to right, and the piercing gold irises, "No, I don't. People look at me and are immediately repulsed by my scars- how do you think I came across that name? People started calling me Scar and disregarded my real name- I don't even remember how long ago it was when suddenly the only name I knew was Scar! "Despite how he looks, It's always a good time with Scar!" They mocked...Nobody was around who remembered my birth name and so eventually I just- forgot it...I adopted the name and phrase people from my home server called me where ever I went- Scar Goodtimes." His tone was surprisingly solemn and tame, catching Doc off guard, "Doc, your situation? Honestly, its a shame on me to compare to my own- My scars aren't nearly as bad as yours- but I know what your feeling. Let me tell you- You are passing off the opportunity of a lifetime, are you sure you want to do that?"

Doc was frozen in place, eye growing wide. He had never really thought about it like that, he never wondered why Scar was named something so blatantly obvious, he never realized this truly was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

It wasn't like he'd ever settle down with someone- he was fine with being single- so this would probably be the only chance he'd have at experiencing being a father.

The hybrid took a deep breath, "Fine...your right Scar." He smiled warily, "I didn't get this far without seizing opportunities or taking risks after all." Doc chuckled nervously, turning to the crib and looking inside. The baby's eyes were still shut and she was now nibbling on the blanket Scar had draped over her earlier, seemingly unaware of his presence.

He cleared his voice before speaking quietly, "Hello little one..." Doc reached into the crib, gently scratching the baby's back. The baby let out a gurgling noise, turning to his hand and grabbing his finger with little hands.

The Creeper heart felt lighter, the soft coo's reaching his ears and the feeling of soft, delicate little hands wrapped around his fingers. 

"Bah!" The baby yelled out the word so suddenly it made Doc and Scar jump a little bit. Doc looked up at Scar, his eye begging for the other man's help, "What- what do I do now?" The brunette rolled his eyes, walking over and standing on the opposite side of the crib, "Pick her up. Support her head and body most importantly- She probably isn't old enough to support it on her own..."

Doc gulped nervously as he slowly scooped up the smaller body into his arms, shifting around a bunch before just settling on cradling it in his arms, pressed against his chest. He felt like he was physically melting as he gazed down at the being in his arms, an awestruck smile crossing his face as he looked up at Scar, "She's...she's so tiny...Scar- Scar it's so small I-i- M-My chest hurts- My heart- I can't- She's so cute-"

Scar gawked in silent amazement at the display before him. Doc was shaking, looking like he was about to cry as he shakily held the baby in his arms. The scientist's smile was so incredibly contagious and his voice was soft, squeaky and breathless as he tried to convey what he felt.

That hard shell Doc kept up so often was crumbling to pieces at his feet just like that, "M-maybe you should sit down..." Scar muttered and put a hand on Doc's back, leading him out the machine and grabbing two chairs from the control room, setting them down and leading Doc to sit.

Their attentions snapped back towards the baby as it let out an excited gurgle, "DAH!" She stretched her arms towards Doc's face, eyes opened wide and fixed on him with a large smile on her face.

Her eyes sparkled as they focused on him, a soft gasp sounding as his breath hitched, eye-widening. Her left eye was a shimmering forest green, but her right was a milky, clouded white. Half-blind.

"Heh....well, I'll be darned-"

Scar's voice cut off as a sob retching itself from Doc's throat, looking back to him in shock as he saw shimmering tears stream down the right side of his face, a wide grin on his lips as he bent down and brought her closer to his face, resting his forehead against hers as overjoyed sobs just kept coming. Incoherent blabbers came from his mouth, a large, shaky smile stretched across his lips as tiny hands roamed his face. They touched his cheeks, grabbed his nose, and tugged gently at his hair.

Doc felt like dying- his heart was swelling, his emotions were horrendously out of wack, he felt weak in the legs.

He looked up at Scar, his voice broken, "S-Scar...a-am I having a heart attack?" Scar sputtered, shocked, "What? Of course not-"

"T-then what IS this...this f-feeling?"

Scar blinked. Once. Twice. Then a smile of realization hit him, "That's joy, Doc. Really- Intense joy..."

"Joy...."

Doc separated his forehead from the baby's, warmth settling itself in his stomach as Scar sat closer and leaned in, "May I?" His voice was just above a whisper once again, looking to the creeper hybrid for permission, "Y-yea...go ahead..."

Scar gently took the baby from Doc's arms, cradling it in his arms and gasping softly, "She's...surprisingly light?"

"I know..."

Silence took priority in the room, Scar gently humming as he rocked the child to sleep. When the baby yawned gently and closed its eyes, the brunette spoke up again, "What are you going to name her?"

Doc thought, gazing at the sleeping baby in his friend's arms until finally, it clicked, "Amal." Scar snorted softly, looking at him, "Amal? What's that mean?"

"Well... there are many meanings but- a more common one is to have hope...to be bright, clean, pure..." Doc's gaze only softened as he spoke, making Scar's melt a little.

He wished the others could see this.

"Amal it is then..."

[eggoreviews]

12 ‘Unpopular’ Viddy Game Opinions

I’ve seen this topic floating around a lot, but didn’t think I had enough ‘unpopular but maybe not’ opinions about games to make a post. Turns out I do! So if you see this and I say something blasphemous, remember it’s just my opinion and my personal experiences with the games I list. Hope you enjoy or hey, maybe even agree with some of this!

Note: Can’t stress enough. This is just me. Also, spoilers under the cut!

12. The opening of Kingdom Hearts II isn’t as terrible as everyone says

Okay, so it’s not brilliant, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s the worst. For those not in the know, KH2′s opening is a basically a massive slog where you play as a character you don’t know or care about with seemingly no real link to the events of the previous game. The general consensus is that there’s some interesting stuff in here, but it’s buried among endless dialogue that really doesn’t mean much. And they’re right, but I really think there’s some great stuff here that people tend to gloss over. The music and the motif of Twilight Town is atmospheric, there’s some genuinely intriguing plot elements that are woven into Roxas’ story and believe it or not, the stuff that happens here is intrinsic to the rest of the game. So yeah, it drags on a little, but I don’t think KH2 would be miles better without this opening.

11. I loved Breath of the Wild’s final boss

One of the problems I see talked about with Breath of the Wild is that the boss fights are fairly mediocre, especially the very last one, Dark Beast Ganon. And I couldn’t disagree more. I think every boss in the game is wonderfully crafted, intense, challenging and great for testing you on what you’ve learned throughout the game by encouraging you to make creative use of your slate powers and the flurry rush technique. And while Mr. Pig Man at the end here is sort of easy and short, it serves as a brilliantly epic finale to damn near perfect game. While the difficulty is mostly gone after the mammoth fight with Calamity Ganon, it’s still just as intense as you frantically fire off arrows into the massive beast in front of you. Plus, the design of this thing is one of the best looking monsters in the game, so I really don’t understand the dislike for this ending.

10. I really like Crash of the Titans

Okay, so maybe childhood nostalgia has something to do with this pick, but every Crash fan I’m aware of seems to hate this game. But I don’t really know where the hate comes from! I played the PS2 version of this and I thought it was a genuinely fun 3D platformer with a variety of locations, good visuals, well-designed boss battles and even a vague story you can sort of follow! The game’s main gameplay feature is also brilliantly integrated, as using Aku Aku to possess various monsters throughout the game keeps everything interesting. One thing I will say though, that tiger dude you have to fight about halfway through is the most annoying thing I’ve ever had to endure in a game.

9. Life Is Strange: Before the Storm is BAD

I loved Life Is Strange when it first dropped, so I was beyond excited when they announced a prequel from Chloe’s perspective. But I really think they dropped the ball and they dropped it hard. But everyone else seems to adore this game! For me, this wasn’t a touch on the original. For a start, they dropped out one of the main mechanics of the first game, the time travel, which they then replaced with a much less interesting ‘Backtalk’ feature, which was then only used about twice throughout the game. Instead of interesting, developed characters reacting to genuinely dangerous or heartfelt situations, it felt to me like a bunch of one-dimensional teenagers who are edgy for the sake of being edgy. Chloe spends the majority of the game being a dick to her mother and bunking off class to spend time with Rachel, who she has literally known for like a day and their sudden relationship drops out of nowhere. Not that I didn’t enjoy the emotional moments of their relationship, it just didn’t feel like it stemmed from anywhere, unlike Max and Chloe from the first game. And the game’s attempts at villains were also rubbish compared to the first, with Damien (random scary knife guy who doesn’t really tie into the plot that much) and Eliot (who doesn’t appear for the whole game and suddenly goes full incel on Chloe when she breaks into Rachel’s house). Yeah I think you can tell I had some problems with this one.

8. Dishonored: Death of the Outsider was also a hot mess

I LOVE the Dishonored series. The first game and its DLCs are amazing, the second game was arguably even better. And then this happened. In this one, you play as Billie Lurk, a character I love, and Daud comes back, a character I also love. But both of them are incredibly badly written and it doesn’t feel like there’s any development to them or even much reason for them to do what they’re doing. This entry took the mystery surrounding the Outsider and basically did a big poo on it, giving us the revelation that he was apparently HUMAN this whole time. I think that was the nail in the coffin that made me sort of think this was a bit rubbish. While the combat and side missions were as brilliant as ever, the level designs felt less creative than other entries in the series and lacked variety or colour, all the side characters were entirely forgettable and to wrap it all up, they killed Daud offscreen. Out of nowhere, they just killed him, mentioned it offhand in a cutscene and that was that. If you like this game, fair enough, but it kind of baffles me that more people don’t see this in the game.

7. Mario Galaxy 2 is good. It’s just sort of good

Some people cite this as being one of the best 3D platformers of all time, and that’s fair enough, but I just kind of see this one as ‘good’. Sure, it has a good, satisfying control scheme for the most part, the level design is creative and the bosses and puzzles are pretty standard for a Mario title, but still enjoyable. However, sometimes, the floaty physics and weird knockback effect from jumping into walls led to quite a lot of unfair deaths, especially if I’d been punished for messing up already by losing a life, only to then immediately be punished again by falling into the void. Plus, I found Yoshi near impossible to control at some points with the motion controls. So yeah, this one is genuinely enjoyable, but I don’t think I’d personally put it with the best of all time.

6. I LOVE Dragon Quest IX TO DEATH

This is a game in a legendary franchise that consistently almost always see ranked at the very bottom of the pile in the series. But I really don’t understand how or why. Okay so your protagonist and party are basically silent and don’t have a lot of character, but I don’t see this as a reason to totally write off the game! The side characters, villains and story are all amazing and well-developed, the world is huge, colourful and interesting, the monsters are brilliantly creative and Dragon Quest’s signature lame sense of humour is gratefully carried through the whole game. The music is always brilliant and atmospheric and the bosses are just as memorable as each character you meet. What was everyone’s problem?? This is genuinely one of the best RPGs I’ve ever played and if you haven’t had a chance to pick it up, it is so, so worth it.

5. Sonic Adventure is a broken mess

So before I kick this one off, I’m not someone who hates Sonic and I’m not here to slate the whole franchise, but considering this game is often considered to be one of the best in the series, I thought it was definitely worth addressing. When I first played this, I literally couldn’t believe this was made in 1998, AFTER Mario 64 and yet it’s so broken! The physics and control scheme are totally wonky and hard to control, the unending amount of glitches make a fair amount of the stages almost unplayable, the voice acting and facial animation is cringey and oddly broken and yet, this was all on the Dreamcast. The most powerful console of the time. And I don’t think I even need to mention how boring some of the later stages get, with Big the Cat’s fishing section being the main offender. I can’t vouch for Adventure 2 as I haven’t had a chance to play yet, but I really hope it isn’t like this.

4. Dragon Age Origins is the best Dragon Age

Dragon Age has always been a popular RPG series, but I think it properly shot to fame once Inquisition dropped in 2014. And don’t get me wrong, I liked Inquisition! The world was colourful and expansive and the characters were fairly memorable, but I still think the best experience you can get is in the series’ first entry, Origins. While it’s pretty easy to see that it’s slightly dated considering it’s ten years old now, the best characters and story in the series I think is here. Each companion you recruit is varied and developed and the story wraps up brilliantly in the end with each companion and army you meet playing a different role in the final battle. Plus, I kind of can’t forgive Inquisition for making Leliana lose her sense of humour and making her kinda boring.

3. Oblivion is better than Skyrim

Okay so I’m not sure exactly how unpopular this is, but I just thought Oblivion was miles better than Skyrim ended up being. Just to clear it up, I still love Skyrim and I thought it built on the series’ combat system and variety of enemies really well and still provided an enjoyable experience. But Oblivion feels like more of an adventure you feel at home in. The story is dense and full of twists and turns. The soundtrack has some of the most atmospheric music I’ve ever heard, the world is full of bright colours, each city is vastly different and has its own lore and I found some of this to be absent from Skyrim. I’d go into more detail, but I think the simple fact is that Oblivion had so much more I liked than Skyrim.

2. I don’t think The Witcher III is all that amazing (in some regards)

This by no means says that I don’t like the game, because I do, but I think it has more flaws than people let on. Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the stuff people praise about this game is true, the quests are in-depth and masterfully crafted, the characters, especially Geralt, are extremely memorable. In fact, Geralt is one of my favourite game protagonists. But most of the problems I had were in terms of the gameplay. The combat, while fast-paced and satisfying, can sometimes feel a little finicky, so a lot of precision is needed. However, I felt that the world itself didn’t particularly interest me and the music is often ambient but outside of combat, isn’t anything special. Mostly though, the leveling system I found to be a bit wonky. I did absolutely everything I could in the first area of the game; all the side quests, treasure hunts, killed a whole bunch of monsters etc. And then I arrive in the second area and find I’m too underleveled to do literally anything. The majority of the quests have too high a level cap, a lot of the monsters kill me very quickly. And because the bulk of EXP farming is in the quests, I’m sort of stuck in an endless loop of constantly not being strong enough to do anything. On top of that, all my equipment keeps breaking and I’m finding that repair kits are extremely few and far between and that makes me even WEAKER. It’s something I’m gonna need to persevere with I think, but hey, this is just my experience with it.

1. Ocarina of Time, as amazing as it is, may have overstayed its welcome as best game of all time

I reckon this might be the most controversial, so it’s number 1. Let me preface this by saying I really like Ocarina and I agree that it was innovative for the RPG genre at the time. There’s a hell of a lot in this game that we have to thank for the games we have today. But considering how far the gaming industry has come since then and the sheer amount of high quality games we’ve been getting year after year, is still fair to call this the best game ever? When more recent games have taken what Ocarina started and built upon it? Games like Breath of the Wild, Horizon Zero Dawn, Red Dead Redemption II, God of War all gave us expansive, beautiful worlds and a story you can really get stuck into. And all the time, more and more games of this caliber are coming out. So yes, of course Ocarina of Time deserves a place in the hall of fame, it was revolutionary and still holds up really well today! I just can’t help but think there have been plenty of games since then, as flawed as some of them may be, that have improved upon the formula tenfold since Ocarina’s release.

Thanks for reading if you got this far! Just to reiterate, these are all just my opinions and my experiences with the games I mentioned, so pls don’t attack me. Got any viddy game opinions you think are sort of not popular? Drop them down below if you feel like it!

[barbwiredheartx]

So i had my appointment today with the nurse who conducted the trauma- and dissociative disorder diagnostic test. Week ago i requested bea or skye or someone with the capacity to handle the bad news to front, but the two are missing in action, instead two days ago i got bri. I got a nervous stomach walking toward the hospital and asked my love to help, he sifted in and my stomach settled. Bri's got a clear head on her shoulders, easy to think smart things etc. She was conversing with b at home in the morning about drawing out how we perceive our body, our consciousness, our awareness and how that interacts and combines with the world, simple visual presentation of biology and the interactive mind and the world, we think, but who knows.

Once we got to the nurse however bri was soupy with a masculine presence cuz thats our norm - our boys handle things that require emotional detachment (we did get shaky however), i also think its impossible for us to meet professional people without a mask on, it's difficult enough to meet regular people, just like the conditioned mask of a perfect flawless witness child representating an Elders family, at least on the surface interactions. Smile, deny yourself, be kind and polite.

I was reminded about me telling them about a, to quote my friend "classic co-consciousness example" and yet, this nurse had no idea what i was talking about. If to wake up as another person, feeling them, their sex, their body shape and their emotions perfectly overlapping with your sense of the physical body and you walk differently, sit on the damn toilet differently and question wtf is this, is me somehow consciously creating an identity then i dont fucking know.

Or waking up in 2014 as a woman, confused, aware of the time passed as we have a frontal memory that everyone at the front has access to, and feeling like i woke up from a fucking coma? Is me consciously creating alters, then i dont fucking know. Or going to the store, paying my groceries, coming home and the next day i have no idea why i have ten euro bill still in my wallet and remembering i walked home without the cat litter bag, yet walking to the kitchen and looking at a cat litter bag having no idea why or how i have it there bc i sure didnt buy it. And i still have no idea where the dish brush came from the other christmas. I threw them all into the trash, went to the store bought a regular dish brush to replace the old ones with the last coins i had. And two days later, theres two dish brushes hanging off the dish rack, one regular and one with a brush head you can switch. If this isnt amnesia between switches, i dont know what it is.

If having main control of the body without partial control of the body (leg moving without my control over it, the body turning around without my control of it, arms moving without my explicit control of it) isn't telling of something being strange and out of the ordinary here, i really dont know what it is. Maybe i am possessed by demons like the pastor wanted to convince me. What other explanation is there?

Is it because i dont know most of my visitors? That i dont know enough detail about my visitors? That we are most of the time blurry about who we are? Including our non-human alters. Does our abuse in our childhood and our lack of most trauma memories somehow invalidate our alternative identity states as fiction? Not all of my visitors are "new" heck, i am myself not who we were before 2006-2010. But when Joshua's subsystem members come close to front, i recognize who they split off of, same with the Jo's. Is it the lack of names? Is me wanting to name my parts for the sake of communication somehow invalidating of who we are as a person?

I'm full of ghosts. Come from a strict religion and badly dysfunctional family that was hellbent on changing who i was into something more acceptable and proper.

I really cant tell you how much amnesia there is in our daily life because i exist and live alone with myself, there is no one i see regularly enough who could talk to me about something we did or talked about so i could go and notice oh fuck, i have no idea what youre talking about. I cant tell you what personal information ive forgotten because if i have forgotten it, i dont fucking remember it?? Other than trauma indicators without memories of anything happening that could explain my reactions in certain areas of life. Plus, like i said, i live alone, so what i experience adversely, is rather quite fucking limited. Its rather fucking simple and logical why i cant answer some of the questions.

I went through trauma that caused first extreme relief of "oh ive found my soulmate, hes safe, i can be fully myself as a woman" into extreme and visceral rejection of her. So first i lost my male alter and right after, jojo went hiding. Then fast forward six years im put on a medication that wipes my entire remaining sense of self clean and causes other side affects that affect me badly. And you wanna tell me, me having a disordered panic attack to a stranger verbally abusing one our younger kids somehow caused me to intentionally create identities instead of it bringing out a sect of a system so we can stabilize ourself? Cuz we can only rely on ourself to do that. There is no help any fucking else where.

[alicezan-ncgred]

Bleeding Red

Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.

TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.

Time for the thick and thin of it.

Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.

The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.

With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.

The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.

Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.

I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.

I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.

Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul​, only one has a happy meaning.

The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.

I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.

Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.

Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative. 

People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely  meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this. 

I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too. 

I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin. 

Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better. 

This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.

The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.  

OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression. 

On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.

I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that. 

Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD,  Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.

You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind. 

My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue. 

The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt. 

Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly. 

Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling. 

Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode. 

I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell. 

[dailyandrewandaaron]

he was lying spread out  on some sort of table he wasn't bound but when he tried to get up he found he  couldn't . there was  a weight of some description on top of him  pinning him down .  the entire room reeked of sweat vomit and dried blood -most  likely his own and the air around him had a  heavy quality and strange reddish tint to it. various gory   instruments of torture hung  swaying on hooks above his head .  he tried to stand again but the weight would not budge .. there were fingers gripping at him and  jabbing into his limbs . he was being cut, being flayed alive. an arm reached  up towards his face with a blunt weapon  and hit him.. a dull pang of pain erupted from the side of his head and he could not move his arms up to test the extent of the wound . something was squirming on top of him  and  he could hear familiar loud laughter, harsh and cruel.

Neil opened his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. 

he’d only been dreaming.. it wasnt real  - except that -No! - the weight was still pressed on  top of him .  No,  No!!  he... it couldn't be .. he was back there.. maybe he’d never left at all .. . maybe it was that part which was a dream after all .. the foxes... little Aaron .. and Andrew ... Andrew   was it all a dream?  a fantasy? He shouldve known. escape could never happen . It was a dream leftover from a miserable childhood . pain was his reality and it always would be. he deserved nothing more  . pain was all Nathaniel knew . even though he almost felt like crying then for the first time in so many years. Had he actually believed he’d gotten out? How incredibly foolish 

He still didn't seem able to move or stand and  could still hear laughter  -but -this time  something  wasn't  quite right - it sounded different to before-   softer, happier high pitched and -devoid of malice it didn't sound like his father at all... it sounded ...childlike

he reached and grabbed hold of the thing on his stomach it was warm and wriggling. alive . he dragged it closer  to him to inspect it which only seemed to  increase the laughter .

  It was aaron.

only little Aaron ,sat on his stomach looking extremely pleased with himself as neil slid him closer, the weapon was a green dinosaur held upside down by the tail  in a tiny fist 

hey little man," he murmured  weakly wincing  as the child bounced on top of him oblivious to any bad vibes . "my god, youre heavy . maybe Kevin's right . maybe we have been overfeeding you . “he was glad that he  hadn’t hurt the child  by accident .if he had hit Aaron or pushed him over  even in fretful  sleep without meaning it  Andrew would never forgive him. in fact if he had  hurt Aaron he wouldn't be able to forgive himself 

"I caught  you. I caught  you" Aaron singsonged  neil  wasn't in the mood to play especially this particular game which Aaron was inexplicably fond of but he couldn't think of a way to explain it so that Aaron could understand. he had been careful to never discuss any events of his past in front of the baby monster so instead he made a half hearted attempt to play along.

" yes, that's right. you caught me. “ he put his hands up “ I surrender. Can you let me up now? ” 

" you're no good at this game" aaron said  accusingly " you didn't even try to hide!"

"sorry little man , guess I fell asleep " he explained groggily. Aaron's shrill childish laughter sliced through him and at that moment with the nightmare still whirling in his brain it was unbearable "  could you just give me a minute. he pleaded “My head hurts" 

Aaron was merciless  "I'm sending you to jail" he announced solemnly. "right now."

 " All right ,All right I'm coming " he said unenthusiastically    heaving himself upright Aaron’s “ jail” involved nothing more than him being surrounded by a ring of his dinosaurs whom the child informed him  with absolute certainty, as if he genuinely believed it , would eat him alive if he tried to escape. He knew from past experience to respect the authority of the dinosaurs to avoid a tantrum from Aaron he sat in the dinosaur ring of shame for a few minutes trying to regather his thoughts " okay, you win, can you let me out now?"

"noo!!" aaron giggled  waggling a  chubby finger  " you're in jail for a thousand years"

"what if i have a chocolate bar in my pocket?" he said Aaron considered this "caramel?" he asked tilting his head in a very Andrew- like gesture. Neil nodded. 

Aaron moved a few of  the dinosaurs aside and Neil carefully stepped through the gap as to not knock any remaining dinos over and send Aaron into rage. aaron was fiercely protective of his dinosaur army in  much the same way as his brother was over his own collection of monsters 

Aaron held a hand outstretched waiting for the promised treat. neil fished the half melted half eaten chocolate out of his pocket . " he seem satisfied with this  ." you're a cheap bribe you know" he said giving Aaron’s tummy a tickle, “just like a real cop. “ 

" I'm going to catch  Andrew and put him in jail " he informed him joyfully 

 "you do that . hes probably under the stairs again “ andrew didn't hide very well on purpose  because he never liked to be too far away from aaron even for a very limited time . he was too wary too entrust others with Aaron's safety . Aaron hadnt grasped this fact though  and just  assumed his big brother hadnt  understood that the aim of their game was to not get caught . he didn't seemed to mind too much though as it meant  he always won. 

neil hoped that when Aaron was distracted with Andrew he would be able to go back to bed and take a quick  nap to sleep away the lingering horrors in his mind before the night practice without anyone noticing. no such luck

" what are you doing?" Kevin sputtered spying Andrew sat crossleged in the middle of a circle of plastic dinosaurs grinning maniacally "you're late for practice get up, get moving"

" -alas  I cannot go!" said Andrew cheerfully “ you see, Aaron sent me to jail for a hundred years “

" only a hundred?" Neil said amused " he sentenced me to a thousand" he shook his head and huffed in mock offence 'favouritism ".

 “what on earth .. “ kevin started ..

" you have to negotiate his release” Neil said laughing at the look on kevins face as Andrew refused to move from the dinosaur circle 

"for God's sake" said Kevin exasperated. “ this is ridiculous” 

“ take it up with the warden” andrew smirked 

Aaron appeared to have lost interest in his prisoner and was now attempting to build a tower out of Lego. 

"little man , “ Neil coaxed him “ are you going to let Andrew out to practice with us tonight?  

"nope"  Aaron dismissed lightly  without looking up from his lego "he cant go. hes's in jail"

"what if i let you have an ice cream?” he tempted the child.  aaron stared at him wide eyed as he been offered the moon. 

"you shouldn't be giving him ice cream. besides he already had dessert today " Kevin said stubbornly

" lighten up would you ?one ice cream isnt going to kill him kev . you can have any flavour you want” he told Aaron . “ after dinner tomorrow “

"okay! " he said excitably and released Andrew from the dinosaur prison

"you can't just bribe him with sweets until he behaves “ kevin grumbled disapproving 

" well, it's worked so far" Nicky piped up half joking

". You're supposed to set good examples for him not rewarding him for manipulating you"

" We're just playing . aaron loves this game"

" I can see why. You let him get away with too much. He shouldn't even be awake this late"

 "you aren't his father " Andrew growled “ don't act like you are”

" neither are you" kevin snapped back " you don't have any idea about about how to care for him properly

"_and you do? “ andrew said incredulous  You can't even look after yourself" 

" enough .you two ,practice. Now. Nicky put Aaron to bed  he'll sleep all through tomorrow otherwise"

"I don't see a problem with that" Nicky mumbled but went to take Aarons hand "  i guess it is late , come on little guy. “

"will you read me a story?  the one about the  boy  and the dog ?"  he asked hugging Nickys legs. 

 “oh my god , not the dog one again “  nicky groaned “ ive read it  like a million times already. aren't you bored of it yet , you've got other books ,you know” 

aaron made a whining sound in response stuck his bottom lip out and clutched his tiny hands into fists preparing to throw a tantrum  . nicky gave in to him like he always did 

“ all right  don't start screaming . ill read it again if you come and get ready for bed now 

“ i don't know why you all let him boss you about. “ kevin sighed defeated "you're the adults not him"

“ he learned from  you “  Neil replied stonily. 

[midz13]

Sorry for being abscent tumblr, I’ve been super busy with the work! I’ll make a mega update here to get us caught up, and ill upload more photos after.

Since unwrapping the environment I have taken it to substance, got all the maps generated, made some optimisations on render time (Still some noise but render time is at 18minutes at some points so wont push it any more - waiting to hear back from Sang on how good the render time is/optimised the scene is before i send render farm requests) and done my animating!! Phew!

The substance painter stuff was good fun - I learend some lessons with the character, and knew the best way to approach this was to put everything under one material that I wanted on one map. To that end I put the entire room (walls floor etc) as one material (due to its physical size and wanting to put text on the floor) and the objects within the room - computers, piping, platform etc - on another atlas. Both atlas’ were 4k, and the only exceptions to that was a few individual maps - one for the robotic arms holding her, as I made them seperate and couldnt/dont know how to combine maps, and one for the pistol (ill show in next post) as I did that after (I decided a couple days before starting animation to test myself to model, wrap and texture a pistol in one day - I did it!! :D

I messed around with colour palette a bit with the room. I wanted a dark ominous room, but felt that showing the room with grey or dark surfaces lost the clean room/labratory feel. I think its vitally important in a sci-fi environment to try to keep real world links as close as possibly as they act like markers for the viewer to follow. I.e. by maintaing an aesthetic in this room or a labratory or hospital with the clean shiney surfaces, and the screen terminals using words like testing etc, the viewer will hopefully understand that its a lab/test facility of some description for the robot - That’s the plan anyway. By making the room darker, it might all into question the use or purpose of building. For example. is she there to be interogated? Has she been captured? As opposed to thinking oh this is a new technology...

I’ve not done any animation before, so was both excited and concerned to start, although it was a nice change of pace and helped keep me interested with a change of the usual workflow.

Luckily, as my story focuses on her being restrained for a large majority of the film, I didn’t have any massively challenging animation to do. However this didn’t mean I would coast the work and get it done as soon as possible. I wanted to make sure her acting and performance read as clearly as possible, as I need her movements to be one of the key indicators of her “state” i.e. human, or robot. I also quickly created blendshapes for her - I planned on her being unable to emote, but I felt this was a bit of a cop out. I didn’t want her to open her mouth, sure, as I felt that was a one way trip to uncanny that I coulnd’t use within the story, and would make her impossible to empathise with (if I had time, sure it would be a fun experiment to see what worked better, but time isnt on my side). This did mean that her emotions were slightly limited , BUT, because i wanted her to see trapped in her own body, and like her faculties were limited (due to the fact her head has been removed and put on a robot!!) I think it worked well. I created blendshapes for fear, sadness, anger, a blink, and a frown (to augment the other emotions). I’m so glad I did these, as the became key in a few of the shots, and really make them pop, and make her “come to life”, so I’m pleased I took the time to do them.

The animation was fun, a few issues came up however, but for the most part it was pretty straight forward. I took some videos of myself doing some of the movements as reference for the animations. I tried to do it in a week or less, which I managed, to make sure that I stay on target time wise, and as I opted to use After Effects to show the screens, I wanted extra time to learn - I want the screens to flash and change, and thought it would also be a good oppotunity to learn how to use After Effects as I’ve not used it at all.

I’ve spent a bit of time too working on camera movement and set up. I’ve weant for a 25mm focal length for most shots to show as much of the set as possible, situating the camera more. I try to frame each shot as well as possible to make it look good, draw the viewers eye to key information, and on a few shots, frame screens so that they can get plot information as to what is going on. It’s been difficult to make sure the camera looks as natural as possible, and not like a maya camera, which is tough. Camera work itself is an entire artform in itself...

So, I want to discuss a few of the issues I’ve had and how I got around them or solved them.

So, as I mentioned I had some issues with the animatiom. These came from the rig, and the blendshape.

First of all the blendshapes for her face - as I think I mentioned before, I did blenshapes for her bicepts so that when she moves her arm, her biceps will tense and relax to show that movement. It’s very subtle and probably never be noticed, but it looks cool when you look for it, and it was a great learning experience. I had to move its order in the channel editor to make sure it moved at the right time within the rig, and it worked totally fine, and easier than I thought! I did the same with the shoulder muscles, but more as corrective blendshapes as the rig/deformations isnt perfect. However, the face blendshapes wouldn’t play ball... I tried adjusting their order, I tried every combination, I tried deleting their history and their transforms, nothing worked - everytime I applied them, her head would shoot off into the distance. I spoke with both Sang and Michael and Patrick Sloan, eventually the 2 Sloans worked out that by deleting the meshes post, and applying them all as one blendshape (originally I did them one by one) it worked. I tried doing them as one BS without deleting them and for some reason it didnt work. I took it as it was and even asked Sang if he knew why (he didnt). As long as it worked though, I didnt care...

The next issue with the rig was something that totally slipped by somehow; When I rotate her global control her chest and abdomen wouldnt deform right AT ALL. I had no idea how it happened and started freaking out. The 2 Sloans couldn’t work it out either. If I grabbed her chest and her global, she would rotate better, but her stomach would twist up strangely. Eventualy Sang diagnosed that the issue was the IK Spine not twisting right, and that I must have done something wrong during the rigging stage. This was super frustrating as I took my time with the rig and followed Sang’s video perfectly. It must have been one little step, a constrain or a parent, that i missed, omited, or applied incorrectly, and more than a month later, it came to the surface. I was especially confused/frustrated as I tested the rig post completion and binding to check, but obviously hadnt used the global control to twist her. Sang found a work around, but it did mean that one of her spine controls was lost. I then realised towards the end of the animating that a few of her poses caused strange deformations, like verts jutting our, or generally not following the rest of her body too well. I would go into weight paints and smooth out the issue as best I could even though I couldnt see anything glaringly obvious, like an arm joint effecting her lower stomach, but now that I’m processing this, I wonder if perhaps losing a handle reassigne weights and didnt do it right??

Another issue I had was her armor and torso/muscles being SUPER Shiny. I couldn’t work this out especially as she looked totally fine within substance. Initially I assumed it was an arnold render setting and that I hadn’t turned samples high enough, but after optimising the samples using Sang’s tutorla (which made the render time too high unfortunately) I realised the issue remained. One day I eventually decided it wasn’t right and that it wasn’t just me - it was too much. I worked my way through Arnold’s material settings, turning this up, down, off, every which way, to see if it effected the shine. I eventually found the culprit was Diffuse Roughness and nothing more, and that by simple adjusting the exposure/alpha in the settings, it reduced this shine completely. The way I set up my materials meant that it effected her whole texture (even though muscle/skin and armor are in different graphs) so I lost a tiny bit of shine to her skin, but I think it still looks fine - if anything before hand her lips looked too shiney, as if she had on lip gloss.

I also had some issues creating the cabling for her helmet. I needed the cabes to flex and bend with her as they moved. In my head the best way would be and IK set up. Initially I tried this, and I use a cube to measure the start and end points, and used an arc to create a perfect bend over the 90 degrees. This was a good idea, and the cable could go from a 90 degree bend to perfectly straight, but any additional bend didnt work and just turned the cable. I then started thinking about IK Splines, and watched a few tutorials online but couldnt get it to work. It made sense though, a spline would allow the perfect movement! Evnetually me and Sang spoke a few times and he was able to find a solution. An spline set up that didnt work like an IK and meant I had to do lots of manual adjustments, but for the most part it looks great. So for the small cables on the sides of her helmet, i kept the simple but effective “fire and forget” IK cables, and for the rear of her head I used the spline, as this area would move and twist much more. It took a while to create and solve, but meant that it looked good and only took a small amount of additional work to animate.

I will upload some more images, such as test shots, the pistol (which barely gets any screen time, but only took a day to work on so not a massive loss.

Only a few weeks to go! Waiting for Sang to get back to me on scene set up and optimisation, once that gets the green light I’ll start sending render farm requests!

[bwicblog]

VD: 😮 see, when my viewers told me there was a new chat o=

VD: 😮 i was hoping it was a live one! o= VD: 😮 or at least there'd be a little spark of life! but this is just so awfully dead o=

VD: 😮 dead BORING o=

VD: 😮 ... o= VD: 😮 i claim this chat in the name of CHANNEL 87! 😮 => u <=

VD: 😮 oh, what the FUCK o= VD: 😮 it's ruining my quirk! o=

SA: you can't claim it.

ID: ahahah wooowww.

VD: 😮 well, gosh, i guess not if it's got people in it! o:

VD: o: pretend you didn't see that! we're having some TECHNICAL QUIRK DIFFICULTIES right now 😮

VD: o= ugh!!! 😮

II: Haha, oh my

II: Well, I'm not quite _here_ since I'm technically at a lecture, but this speaker is dreadfully boring

II: You would think someone who specialized in colonization and diplomacy law would be a fascinating sort of person!

DD: omgggggggggggggg i would be okay with vd claiming this chatroom!!! DD: it would make it about fifty times cooler than before!!! i mean not that its not cool now just that shes definitely cooler and it would be an improvement

II: But they're hideously dull.

ID: nah ii, that sounds hella boring.

DD: i am seconding id!

SA: just quit using the colon with the o.

II: I was hoping they would have interesting stories about aliens, or exploration!

SA: you will look far less suprised.

II: All they have done is drone about minor policy details, which are relevant I suppose but nothing I could not simply read about myself.

DD: well if they are boring details i suspect they figured you wouldnt be especially inclined to read about them yourself so they should say them to you instead so you cant escape!

DD: unless you escape by ignoring them and chatting online instead i suppose but there is no helping some circumstances

II: I always read my briefings.

II: No matter how dull.

II: But going to a lecture is different, I expect some sort of personal flair.

DD: im sure you do but does everyone

DD: its a lecture isnt it i dont suppose youre the only one in there

VD: gosh, sa, that's about what i'm ready to do. VD: it's a shame! that quirk is my THING. VD: but oh well! VD: gotta adapt to the medium!

ID: some trolls just love the sound of their own voice. doesn't mean they're interesting.

SA: 😮

DD: nooooooooo vd 😢

II: Haha, hardly. I am mostly surrounded by teals and a few bluebloods.

SA: i suppose there is no beating it.

DD: rip the quirk

II: But none of them look particularly thrilled either, except those who I suspect are trying to curry favor.

II: And they look rather glassy.

ID: big fish little pond huh ii?

VD: ii, this may be a pretty wild suggestion, so hold onto your pants, but. VD: have you thought about escaping out the window?

SA: some trolls simply sound monotonous but they say very important things.

SA: like me

SA: full stop.

ID: hahaha yeah ii, just dive out the fucking window.

II: Sadly there are no windows in this conference room.

II: Otherwise it would have occurred to me.

VD: and don't cry, dd! the quirk SURVIVES. online, that is! on my stream. VD: winky face!

SA: that is. not at all subtle.

DD: well then take a vent DD: or a ceiling panel!

SA: are you streaming this chat?

ID: fake your death ii. it's the only way.

VD: aww. crawl out under the tables to freedom!

II: I...strongly doubt I would fit through one of those.

II: Or manage to go under the tables, haha.

II: ...though faking my death _is_ sounding appealing.

II: Or at least faking being unconscious.

ID: faking your death is fool-proof.

DD: and ahaha omg DD: im sorry! DD: i was trying not to make it weird but yes oh dear i love your stream very much and i would just like to say that im very pleased that STARship helps make it possible!!

VD: what? no! chats are boring! VD: technically, i might be streaming just a LITTLE. VD: but don't worry, this is not exactly the sort of hard-hitting content that gets my viewers going!

SA: I.

VD: unless ii fakes their death!

ID: you either succeed or they find out you're faking and cull you for realsies.

SA: well, I'm done here for an hour or so.

II: Well if I do, I shall be sure to film it for you.

II: I am nothing if not considerate.

VD: awww. you're a real doll!

II: Haha

DD: ... also maybe if youre ever interested in upgrading well be releasing a new system for synthetic neural synapse that helps streamline wetware-hardware connection and im sure you dont ever have lag but if you do i mean

II: Oh, are you a tech expert, DD?

II: How charming!

DD: i!!! DD: kind of!!

DD: you could say that!

DD: STARship is my company!!

DD: co-company??

VD: ... as is dd! VD: STARSHIP is the big hit that makes it all possible, it is true. VD: why, without them, where would we be? filming with cameras, like a bunch of cocoon-wetting pupas? =:B VD: nah!

VD: oh!

ID: oh god is this just a chat of highblood nerds now.

II: Yes, we have invaded

II: Terribly sorry

DD: well its not when youre here!

DD: 😄

VD: yes, exactly! VD: you are saving us all, id, you valiant hero, you.

DD: wait that sounded like i dont want you here and that is the opposite of what i intended

DD: yes what vd said

ID: uh-huh. totes got my feels injured by that declaration dd, but i guess you patched them.

II: Hahaha

DD: though really its not as though ive gone on at particular length about my work at anybody as of yet i mean i would like to think i am more considerate than that to both those unfamiliar with my jargon and also to my patent legislacerators

II: You don't deal with lowbloods much, do you, DD?

II: Many of the ones I know are not exactly fragile

ID: no ii, i'm suuuppperrrr fragile.

II: Hah!

ID: got a broke ass arm to prove it. =:'(

II: And I'm the governor of Provenance.

DD: i mean not really aside from the lovely members of station 11 that are helping me test my latest prototypes but also i didnt say that because he is a lowblood i said it because i was afraid i hurt his feelings

DD: though there are many physiological and psychic differences between highbloods and lowbloods it is a common misconception that they extend to the psychological! DD: for the most part anyways i mean there are some differences but

VD: i would love to take you up on your sweet offer, dd - mx dd - but i am just not sure i need it! VD: my visual hookup is state of the line. top of the rack! VD: and besides, i think i would miss all of my modifications. =:B can't get THOSE storebought!

DD: what i am saying is that i think that would have been a jerk thing to say to anybody!

DD: if i had meant it the wrong way i mean

ID: what i'm getting from this is that dd is a jerk.

DD: and oh of course i mean i know it is state of the line i am afraid i just got overexcited and-

DD: no i am not!!

II: Ah, I think I would call them...inexperienced?

DD: at least i am not trying to be 😦

II: In some social aspects.

ID: accidentally a jerk.

II: I don't think you are, DD.

DD: what did i do that was jerkish?

VD: hahaha. oh, gosh.

II: It's just plain you haven't dealt with lower castes much.

VD: y'all talk really fast, don't you?

ID: yeah we're hella touchy about you highbloods bringing up our differences. =:'(

DD: i have been told i talk very quickly and at great length my apologies if it is excessive

II: Hahaha

ID: and also apparently being used as guinea pigs for you.

II: Well, that is standard protocol I'm afraid.

VD: no, no, it is positively charming! VD: i just have got to stretch out all of my conversational muscles to keep up!

DD: and really?? DD: that has not been entirely my experience but also workplace sensitivity said that its good not to say all lowbloods are touchy or not touchy about everything in general because that is a bit of a stereotype regardless of which way you go!

DD: and oh dear now i am flustered

DD: thank you though!!!!

DD: that is very flattering

DD: and what do you mean guinea pigs?

DD: i do not eat lowbloods

VD: i.

ID: ....man.

II: ...do you eat guinea pigs, then?

ID: i mean, good on not fucking eating us.

ID: guinea pigs as in making us test your shit.

DD: i mean i have recently had pork yes!!

II: That...oh dear

II: That's not a guinea pig

DD: oh

DD: um!

II: That's just a regular oinkbeast.

ID: ahahah woowwww.

II: Guinea pigs are small and adorable and not really good for meat.

VD: oh, ii, don't drag the poor thing! VD: who hasn't looked at a little rodent and gone: well, shoot! that'd be delicious on a platter!

II: ...myself?

II: I say that mostly because they aren't really big enough to be a proper meal.

DD: i have to admit i am not certain what is common fare for eating when it comes to the landdwelling castes

ID: i mean where you find one guinea pig you'll find more.

DD: i have spent most of my time here thus far lamenting the profound lack of fish!!

ID: they travel together.

DD: i tried to get some sushi but i think the crab was fake

II: Gracious, DD, you almost make me want to take you for dinner somewhere, though surely that'd interfere with your work.

VD: oh, i don't know about that! VD: i got in a hive once that had a guinea pig just about the size of a house! VD: mean little critter, too. it nearly took a chunk out of my poor leg.

ID: 'got in a hive' sounds ominous af.

VD: i think everyone'd be better off if dd had gone and eaten that one. 😮 u o=

VD: oh, fiddlesticks.

DD: no thats fine i can work at any time but its not any time that i have the opportunity to make a new friend! DD: as long as you dont feed my guinea pig i suppose x))

II: Haha, I would never. Have you heard of Civitrecce, DD?

DD: oh no whats wrong???

DD: and no ii i am afraid i have not but i am also afraid i have not heard of most places that are not located underwater or in orbit!

VD: haha, it is only ominous if you want it ominous, id. VD: which is to say, i'd explain, but i'd hate to break the sense of suspense you're building here!

DD: except troll chicago but that was in a musical

DD: i am very in suspense!!

ID: i mean i'm just imagining you break in to hives for funsies.

II: Fair enough! It's my home city, though I am rarely there. It boasts many fine restaurants, including those tailored to the elite, so they have fine seafood.

VD: getting warmer, id! =0 u 0=

II: It also has a spaceport and land travel hub, so it has plenty of trains heading there.

VD: yessss, success!

DD: omg!! DD: in that case i would absolutely love to visit DD: you dont suppose they have any shops that sell nice moisturizer do they because i am coming to realize that this hotel does not come equipped with a salt bath and my gills are drying out and its becoming quite painful and DD: oh dear but thats me just being a complainer now!

DD: what did you do vd??

II: Oh, of course they do.

ID: hahah woow what did you expect being in the desert though dd?

II: ...I'm sorry, break into hives?

VD: 0= i got my quirk working again! =0 VD: 0= look at this, it is just like in the vids. =0

ID: text it vd breaks in to hives to murder for funsies.

DD: omggggggg i love it!

DD: and she doesnt MURDER anyone!!

DD: and i dont know ive never been to a desert!

VD: 0= what nooooo. 0= VD: 0= anyone can murder people! that's not impressive at all! =0

DD: expected it to be like the tropics!!

VD: 0= no one's going to watch that! =0

ID: so what do you do then.

DD: only the coolest stunts ever!!

II: Do you cause property damage and enter without the owners' consent.

VD: 0= hahaha, what is this, an ama? =0 VD: 0= because man, i love those. =0

ID: the fuck is an ama.

VD: 0= property damage is for wrigglers, ii! =0 VD: 0= the KEY to making it fun for the whole clade is breaking in without breaking anything, taking some stuff, and leaving before anyone can even grab their trident! =0

VD: 0= an ask me anything! 0=

VD: 0= where people.. well, gosh, ask you anything. =0

II: I see.

ID: ...so you stream breaking in and stealing from folks.

ID: highbloods.

II: _I_ do not condone this.

ID: 🙄

VD: 0= oh, don't worry, ii, i think you're pretty swell! 0=

DD: oh come on ii its not as though it really hurts anyone and besides if they didnt want their things stolen they should have installed better security systems!

SA: you sound like the sort of person that steals the remote control batteries and watches the hive dissolve into chaos.

VD: 0= and it's - yes, exactly! =0

DD: or worse ones i suppose since part of the fun is the challenge of a good security system

II: It is still illegal.

VD: 0= to both of those! =0

SA: "it's not like it really hurts anyone" "if they didn't want their things stolen they should have installed better security systems"

ID: highbloods pris.

SA: there is so many things. wrong. with that sentence.

VD: 0= i'm helping people improve themselves through a little TLC. 0= VD: 0= and by helping them put off doing their lethal bar paperwork! =0 VD: 0= it's a hard job, but gosh, someone's gotta do it. =0

II: The kind of logic used by all sorts of criminal rubbish.

SA: help me, Hadean.

VD: 0= it's not really a crime, if you think about it! =0 VD: 0= why, you could probably even say it's a public service! =0

II: It is _not_.

VD: 0= hahaha. i'm joking. =0 u 0= it's totally illegal. =0

ID: get 'em ii.

II: Yes it is and I find it particularly appalling that someone of your blood would do such a thing.

II: Shame on you for disgracing your caste.

ID: yeah vd you're setting a bad example for us lowbloods.

ID: ii if you ever catch me stealing it's because vd made it look cool.

II: Ha

II: _Clearly_ .

VD: 0= am i a disgrace, ii? =0 VD: 0= because 1m viewers per session says that an awful lot of people think i'm a shining example! 0=

II: This troll isn't a suitable role model for a blind grub.

ID: also quick fact is it stealing if you're looting a corpse.

VD: 0= i am not quite sure of what, though, now that i think about it. =0 VD: 0= gosh, i should do a poll. =0

II: Your viewers are likely average bored citizens - no, not technically.

VD: 0= ewww. don't touch corpses! =0

ID: great!

SA: no it's just grave defilement.

VD: 0= that's how you get hornrot, id! =0

II: I mean, to be fair, I'd consider it wasteful to not. Unless they have quadrants who would like the body or belongings back.

II: Then it would be disrespectful, but not illegal.

ID: if they're recently dead it's fineeee.

VD: 0= oh, yes. =0 VD: 0= breaking into hives is wrong, but touching dead bodies is perfectly fine. 0=

SA: i'm sorry, did you go looting corpses today?

VD: 0= ii, i think your morals are a little questionable! =0

VD: 0= i think you're setting a bad example here! =0

II: Morality isn't the problem here. It's the law.

ID: not today. but some times a troll has to find some quick cash!

ID: yeah vd.

ID: i'm immoral but i'm legal.

II: Morals don't enter it. Luckily, I really do not care what you think, since you are a criminal.

II: Moreover, a _stupid_ criminal who talks about their crimes in an Imperial server.

VD: 0= well, isn't that just a knife straight to my heart? 😢 =0

SA: please it's not as if the police will come hunt them down for blasting it in a defunct server.

SA: they are a high blood.

SA: who... actually cares.

ID: ^^^^

II: I don't care for their blood. I care for their blatant immaturity and defilement of the legal system.

II: They ought to be disciplined.

SA: as long as they're looking from a caste below them the police will turn a blind eye.

VD: 0= haha, yeah, i would not put it exactly like that, but. =0 VD: 0= close enough! =0

II: _I_ am not below them.

ID: so a firm slap on the wrist.

ID: aka what any highblood ever gets.

ID: unless they fucked with a higherblood.

II: I am two castes higher, and this is wrong.

SA: then call the police and we'll wait.

VD: =0 oh, don't worry, ii! =0 VD: =0 i said i'd never steal from your hive, because we were being downright frondly. =0 VD: =0 but let's be honest here! =0 VD: =0 i wouldn't steal from your hive because you're an awful stick in the mud, and i don't think anyone'll be quite impressed by your collection of troll twilight books! 0=

SA: 😮

VD: =0 u =

II: It's hardly that simple, as I'm sure you know, but I will certainly be filing this - haha, what. Oh that's amusing, considering I have no interest in that series and in fact recently derided it.

ID: also is attempted but not fully carried out murder a crime? just asking random questions i've always wondered with someone who knows law at hand.

SA: Hadean i am aggressively elbowing you in spirit.

II: Mm, technically, but it also depends on a lot of other legal codes.

VD: =0 it's only ever a crime if you get caught, id! =0 VD: =0 or if you stream it live, every night, at 6:00PM IST! =0

ID: i'm not murdering anyone pris, i'm just curious.

SA: "asking for a friend"

II: It varies by area and specific caste restriction, though I'm in favor of investigating as many attempted murders as possible.

ID: no, asking because i have a lot of free time on my hands to ask these questions!

SA: i hate you :l

II: Ignoring the small crimes usually leads to getting complacent toward the bigger ones.

ID: =:P

SA: 💚

ID: so chop the hand off the thief to send the murderers a warning kind of thing?

II: Pfft, how barbaric. Hardly.

ID: so like, then. what's the worst crimes a troll could commit?

II: Difficult question depending by what standards you're asking.

II: Castewise, the murder of a tyrian, though even that's a thorny issue given that the Condesce generally appreciates _fewer_ challengers, though there are exceptions for non-heir or heiress fuchsias.

VD: =0 oh, i know this one. 0= VD: =0 early culling a heiress! 0=

II: Please ignore VD, who is not a legal expert, and an idiot.

ID: shots fired.

VD: =0 so don't spear any princesses, id. 0= VD: =0 that's an awful big glitch to make. 0=

ID: i have yet to run in to any princesses but i'll keep it in mind.

II: But if we're talking more generally, destruction or alteration of Imperial property is a big one. That causes us a lot of issues every sweep. On a wider scale, sabotage of the fleet itself.

SA: oh i have.

SA: but they were already dead when I got there.

VD: =0 well, i say give ii all the attention they're so desperately craving. 0= VD: =0 after all, it'd be mean to steal their limelight! 0= VD: =0 even if they are droning like the speaker they were just complaining about. 0=

VD: =0 wow! 0= VD: =0 really? 0=

ID: oh i get elbowed over asking about murder, but you can talk about a dead princess?

II: I suppose it's easy to interpret my giving of facts as attention craving from the person who clearly rotates their life around that very thing.

SA: well, I wasn't involved in it.

ID: i wasn't involved in murder either but iiii still got elbowed.

SA: (also I was not serious)

SA: why would i casually asy.

SA: I found a dead heiress.

VD: =0 what? booooo. 0= VD: =0 i was excited to hear about a heiress! 0=

II: Even if you were, it's hardly my business. Fuchsia disputes are above my station.

ID: uh because you do cool shit?

II: Unless the culling was done by a lower caste.

SA: oh do you really think so?

VD: =0 there's a girl who streams and CLAIMS she's tyrian. 0= VD: =0 but i am pretty sure it's just make-up! 0=

ID: i mean dangerous but cool shit.

SA: claiming ones relation to a tyrian heiress is. unwise.

SA: 😊

II: There are violets who play at being tyrian, heaven knows why. Such a thing is not only dangerous but incredibly silly.

ID: no one here is destroying property or sabotaging the fleet ii.

ID: so what about crimes that you actually see?

SA: Oh, well, there goes my weekend plans.

SA: thank you, Hadean.

II: Haha

ID: =:P np, np.

VD: 0= gosh, id, way to be a regular buzzkill. 0= n =0

ID: that's me. head buzzkill.

II: Sometimes I deal with ones involving Imperial property, but often it's far more ordinary work. But I'm afraid we're breaking for snacks, so I'm going for a bit.

ID: well bye.

ID: snacks can be entertaining at least.

SA: ... breaking for snacls...

ID: highbloods need their snack breaks pris.

SA: oh. yes.

SA: silly. me.

ID: otherwise they get cranky! =:P

SA: 🍱

ID: careful you'll summon back the sushi-fish.

SA: DD?

ID: yeah.

AA: sushi what now. >:?

SA: 🌮

SA: there.

ID: dd wants sushi. despite being in the desert.

AA: that's a taco.

AA: >:[

ID: fuck now i want a taco.

SA: I know it's a taco, I'm correcting my sushi mistake

AA: go get a taco!!

AA: and o, o, ic.

SA: he's going to say something like

ID: tacos cost money. =:P

SA; i can't afford a taco

SA: yes.

ID: i'm sorry i'm poor pris!

SA: i could wire you money.

ID: nah i'll just whine at sips.

ID: (ps my hair is so fucking soft.)

SA: 🙄

SA: send selfie.

ID has sent sofuckingsoftman.png!

DD: omg are we sending selfies? ^_^ DD: im sorry i had to go for a little bit there was a tad bit of an explosion and i had to put out a fire DD: or well tell the bot to put out a fire!!

ID: gotta remember your fire safety dd.

SA: beautiful.

ID: also sure it can be selfie night.

DD: and oh dear your hair looks very lovely!

SA: how hard is it to ... not cause explosions.

DD: thought the horns are interesting ive never seen a floating one before is it mechanical?

ID: hahah no that's my horn.

DD: and surprisingly difficult in some circumstances! DD: i mean part of the testing process was to see if it would explode so

ID: allll keratin.

DD: test success!! DD: it just exploded more than i thought it would!

DD: and oh dear then how is it floating?

DD: and omg wait wait i want to send a selfie too then

DD: um! DD: oh no my hair is a mess um

ID: magic. and psi.

DD: one minute i need to find a comb!!

ID: mostly the psi.

SA: silly hadean.

SA: magic isn't real.

SA: clearly it's a collective hallucination.

ID: fuck you magic is real. =:P

SA: fuck you 😠

DD: fancy! that sounds like it takes up a lot of energy though i suppose horns are fairly small and if it is already attuned to you on account of it being your own growth... DD: anyways!! comb!

DD: brb ❤

SA: there they g.

SA: ...go

ID: that was a teasing fuck you. =:P

SA: i would never say fuck you and mean it 😇

IJ: Nobo>y better be breaking the law in here.

AA: dnw, prni's emojis arne as genuine as yrn floating horn. >:}

ID: oh my god my horn is realsies.

VD: =0 oh my god, what is this? 0= VD: =0 legislacerator central? 0=

SA: what are you going to do, copper.

II: Oh, are we doing selfies -

II: I'm working on that, Halvea

ID: it's selfies night in here.

ID: dd is off primping for it.

VD: =0 oh! 0=

IJ: It is something, alright. Selfies? Is that it? Hmm.

VD: =0 brb, i'm going to get my mirror! 0=

II: haha, I'm afraid I only have an old one. I rarely do selfies.

SA: it's very easy.

SA: you take your phone.

ID: oh my god highbloods.

SA: hold it above your head.

SA: and hit 'take photo'

ID: allll gotta primp!

SA: and send it to the chat.

II: http://cloudbattrolls.tumblr.com/post/152449745713/i-stole-her-glasses-and-fed-them-to-a-chihuahua

AA: you can't just hold it above yrn head, prni.

II: Camera was poor quality, unfortunately

AA: therne's an A RN T to selfies.

SA: an art.

SA: why the teal bangs.

-IJ has sent PhotoDay.png to the chat! It is mostly Halvea being unwinding in her office. Her tie needs actual tying.-

ID has sent lookselfiesarenotart.png!

ID: man, i just did what pris said and. viola.

II: Oh my, you have such interesting tattoos, ID

ID: a genuine selfie.

II: They almost remind me of paint

AA: they'rne clownpaint. isn't that neat?

SA: ...

AA: i think it's neat.

AA: >:}

ID: ohhhh my god they're tattoos.

SA: 😂

SA: look at you, IJ.

ID: i did not have a guy spend twenty hours jabbing a needle in to my face to be told it's paint is2g.

II: Haha, why would they be paint? Even if they were, that's not half-paint, it wouldn't be at all suitable.

SA: wait.

SA: you actually had that tattooed onto your body.

SA: I assumed it was just. birthmarks.

ID: yes.

AA: ikrn?

SA: i.

IJ: Teal is a perfectly fine color. IJ: An> you aren't allowe> to wear excessive amount of face paint while on the job. It can get in your eyes an> can cause temporary blin>ness.

SA: ...

SA: I don't know you. at all.

DD: whats wrong with primping maybe i want to feel pretty! DD: :D DD: anyways here you go!! DD has sent selfienight.png! [Dazzle is in some sort of mechanics lab in the background with hastily combed hair and making a peace sign to the selfie cam while beaming. He's already found time to add a bunch of stickers and filters to the photo.]

II: That is not an excessive amount of facepaint, Halvea!

II: It's a perfectly reasonable amount.

IJ: I know, In>ri>, I am stating for the peanut gallery why you >on't.

VD: =0 congratulations, dd, you are positively adorable! 0= VD: =0 i like the bows! 0= VD: =0 very nifty! 0=

SA: you would almost be cute if you weren't insufferable and a worse space cadet than myself.

ID: there is no paint so let's drop the paint tak. =:I

II: Oh, how precious!!!

ID: wow pris, suave.

II: You look so cute, DD

SA: i use my best lines on you, of course

SA: i have my priorities straight.

DD: omggg thank you!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

DD: i found a new app that has a lot of cute filters and stickers so ive been using it a lot!

ID: i like that your horns don't match.

DD: oh um! DD: haha they actually used to so im glad you think it looks nice now! DD: they used to make the loveliest heart shape together but unfortunately there was an incident!

II: Oh whoops, I missed SA's question

DD: and now i have no horns basically

DD: 😢

VD: =0 i know? asymmetry is such an eye-catcher! 0= VD: =0 you can make an entire logo out of that. 0=

DD: omg ❤

II: I like teal! I am surrounded by tealbloods thanks to my job, after all

DD: that is a hell of a way to cheer a troll up you guys thank you

II: So I dye my hair with it

ID: ahahah wow is that why you have no hair too?

SA: I... see.

IJ: Horns are often something that can become a hazar> when working in many fiel>s, it is a smart thing to >o.

ID: or is that a style choice.

DD: um! no that was also

DD: an accident

DD: the same accident actually

DD: or well a different occasion but overall the same series of events

ID: my horns are never a hazard and i love them.

II: Your horns look very sharp and useful!

ID: but uh. sorry about the accident i guess.

SA: that is the biggest lie i have ever heard.

DD: but i think ive had it cut nicely now dont you?

SA: short hair is practical anyways. You should embrace it.

DD: oh dear

VD: =0 well, dd's already seen my selfie! 0= VD: =0 but here, since everyone else's putting up pictures: 0= VD attaches TROLLSTARWARS.jpeg! [ It's her making a victory sign at the camera with tiny robotic camera-drones surrounding her. ]

DD: thank you! DD: and really it is not that big of a deal now aside from the um DD: lack of hair and horns and having to leave my home and all of that DD: which is to say its been a lot of trouble but really im sure it will sort itself out!!

ID: i mean it looks nice for short hair. I just always assume seadwellers have long hair because. i don't know.

VD: =0 short hair is practical! 0= VD: =0 no industrial accidents that way, haha! 0=

ID: what are those things.

DD: omgggg ❤ ❤ that is very cute vd! or maybe just epic!!!

ID: i want to take a bat to them.

VD: =0 you wouldn't be the first, id. 0= VD: =0 winkyface! 0=

SA: 😉

DD: and you wouldnt be wrong id its very common to have long hair after all it is ideal to emulate our lovely sovereign in all ways we can ❤

DD: i used to have long hair that is to say just not anymore!

VD: =0 yes, sa's got my number down. haha! 0= VD: =0 anyway, they're video drones! 0=

ID: hurrah, all stereotypes have some truth to them after all.

DD: omg ❤

ID: ....are you so in love with yourself you need constant video of all angles or...

DD: well you have to have the best angles for the best stream!!

DD: besides all of merlons angles are good angles

DD: because she only shows the best angles!!

ID: ...are you a fangirl.

DD: well i mean i am definitely a fan but i am not a girl!

ID: ...fanboy. sorry.

DD: its okay im sure its a common assumption to make about my caste given the public face of the empire is a lady ❤

ID: also you have a face that could go either way.

VD: =0 sorry, sorry, unexpected guest! =0 VD: =0 but our hold is done and i am BACK. =0 VD: =0 and i'm not in love with myself, id. that'd be silly! =0

DD: oh really do i?? DD: i dont suppose i pay enough attention to that sort of thing but girls do tend to be really cute so i will take that as a compliment!

VD: =0 but i have to make sure to please all of my delightful fans! 0=

ID: uh-huh.

ID: dd. vd or one of those rainbowdrinkers in all the movies right now. which are you a bigger fan of?

DD: um!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: um!

DD: um um um um

SA: pick one the other dies.

DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ID: nah one of them doesn't actually exist pris.

ID: too easy a choice then.

DD: well then i would have to pick vd of course because the rainbowdrinkers are already dead!!

SA: i know that, I just want to up the stakes.

SA: but aren't they still living at heart 😢

DD: oh dear

ID: no one dies, you just have to make the choice dd.

SA: how else will they love bellae.

DD: this is a really difficult decision!!

DD: especially because i only really just found out about lestat and oh dear

ID: lestat's mate looks the superior one in that movie anyways.

DD: you are being really tough here and i do not think i can make that decision!

VD: =0 oh, gosh, id. 0= VD: =0 obviously i would pick dd. that's not a choice at all! 0=

ID: it's a tough world out there dd. =:P

DD: OH NO now i feel bad!!

DD: im so sorry vd of course i would pick you i was just temporarily enamored by my recent introduction to lestat

ID: w2g vd now he feels bad.

VD: =0 rainbowdrinkers are gross! 0= VD: =0 i don't know about you, but my lusus taught me that you shouldn't touch corpses. 0= VD: =0 never mind kiss 'em! 0=

ID: ...how about culling them.

SA: VD is right. prions.

VD: =0 yes, exactly! 0=

ID: ii is culling a rainbowdrinker illegal.

VD: =0 they're already dead, silly. 0= VD: =0 how are you gonna cull them? 0=

SA: i don't believe so as many of them go off the grid when they die.

SA: they are considered legally dead.

ID: i mean. burn them to ash?

SA: and many places superstitously view rainbow drinkers as culturally unacceptable despite the Imperial stance they are not real.

DD: i dont think you can get prions from kissing someone and oh dear i dont think rainbowdrinkers are really supposed to be like corpses! DD: they are walking and talking people after all and i do not think a corpse could have hair as nice as lestat or eyes as piercing as edwards

SA: so.

SA: No it would be encouraged to murder them.

DD: this is a very troubling conversation oh my goodness

ID: welcome to this chatroom almost every night dd.

DD: !!!

AA: aww, n, it's not T H A T bad. AA: yesternnight we werne talking about sushi.

AA: and all the ways to make it.

AA: fish like sushi, rnight?? >:}

SA: 🎊

DD: i love sushi!

DD: i have been craving some for nights!

AA: lmfao, good.

ID: it wasn't that incredible when i had it.

SA: no. not this again.

SA: damn you Sipara.

AA: 💚

SA: 🖕

ID: no damning sips for one whole night, she earned the privilege by letting me use conditioner.

SA: she can be damned for twenty minutes.

DD: well maybe you did not have very good sushi id DD: i tried the sushi out here and it was probably fake or at the very least very unfresh and really its much better when you have it properly made with fresh caught fish DD: also i just very much enjoy fish in general on account of eating it a lot of the time!

DD: and oh dear

SA: excuse me.

SA: I have excellent taste.

AA: wtf, don't i earn the prnivilege by spending an hourn brnushing yrn headfluff??

ID: that too.

AA: >:{

ID: i told you it tangles like a bitch.

ID: i t o l d you.

SA: i brought him the sushi he ate. and i am very particular about food.

DD: then maybe it is simply not to ids tastes to eat fish that wouldnt surprise me given it is probably not a part of his typical palate

ID: that's probbbsss it.

ID: i'm used to eating burgers.

ID: and squirrels.

SA: oh i've wanted to --

DD: oh ive never had a burger but ive seen them on tv a lot!

SA: ...how.

SA: I would die

ID: there's only so many things to eat in the middle of the desert pris. D:<=

SA: so fry a scorpion?

AA: you told me, but i told you it'd be, like, way bettern if you let me brnaid it. >:P AA: but w/e, w/e, it's way less tangled now, gj.

SA: leave the mammals alone...

AA: dd, go eat a burngern.

DD: !!

ID: nope. raw ass squirrel meat pris.

AA: actually, n. fuck the burngern. AA: just go stab a hoofbeast, and, like, eat it rnaw.

ID: just bite the fur off and went to t o w n.

SA: what

AA: that's the RN E A L landdwellern expernience.

AA: ain't got nothing like it.

DD: maybe i should i have been holding out in the hopes of maybe being able to get something i am used to delivered here and it has mostly resulted in me living off of lattes which is not a very good diet especially when i am attempting to be productive

SA: 🐴

DD: and they always look very good on tv though kind of weird i guess!

ID: burgers are the fucking best.

DD: theyre so..... cooked!!!

ID: ...and donuts.

DD: and in such a weird way!!

ID: yeah welcome to the land.

SA: please go to a restaurant, DD.

SA: there is an. entire world.

ID: if you don't cook the fuck out of them they might carry disease.

SA: the donuts or the burgers.

ID: both.

SA:

SA: ...

SA: I don't. know what i expected.

ID: =:P

DD: well im sure fish carry diseases too but i eat those raw all the time DD: maybe it is a matter of constitution??? DD: regardless i will definitely go eat a burger once i am done with this module do you think they would make me one without cooking the meat

ID: probably not.

DD: oh dear 😦

ID: the meat will not be. fresh.

AA: n, absolutely.

SA: actually yes.

AA: just thrnow yrn weight arnound.

DD: um!!

SA: Improperly prepared sushi can bear a number of worms and viruses.

AA: be like "I want this so frnesh it's strn8 off the hoofbeast" and they'll T O T E S go w/ it.

AA: .................

SA: particularly if it isn't chilled properly.

AA: ..................................................

ID: now you tell me. =:I

AA: why arne you feeding hads wornmy fish, prni.

DD: that sounds very concerning i have had the un-fresh fish here and i am not sure i want to have the un-fresh thing i havent had yet!

SA: I wouldn't do that to Hadean.

SA: I ate sushi at the same place before I brought it to him.

AA: would you have known it's full of wornms, tho.

ID: pris has the money for the fancy stuff sips.

ID: like. pris how much did you pay for your current outfit.

SA: I couldn't tell you.

ID: guesstimate.

AA: and it ain't that unfrnesh, dd, jeez. AA: trnust meee.

SA: however, I made roughly $3500 today.

SA: catching that indigo.

SA: so.

ID: see?

AA: hads li - >:1

SA: also yes because I would have gotten the worms too.

DD: what if maybe they can cook it like a little bit but not all the way do they do that

ID: man i should have let you wire me some cash. =:/

SA: that is caled a rare burger.

SA: you missed your chance, Hadean.

DD: oh!!!!!!!! DD: so those are a thing!!!

SA: besides what was it you said about taking advantage of people.

SA: and I should watch out.

SA: :p

AA: n, too late, yrn in the brnoke-ass rnust squad, hads. AA: no take-backs!!

ID: =:P you're learning. what have i created.

SA: 💚

ID: he still owes me a shopping trip one day though!

ID: no takebacks on that!

SA: you will be very fashionable. and also very practical.

SA: i promise.

DD: that is very good to know and i will try that because i suppose coming here should also be about trying new things!!

DD: and oh my goodness you should show us what you buy when you go shopping!!!

ID: yeah dd, dive in to the experience.

DD: changing room pix for your fav outfits! ^_^

ID: i live in a tent.

AA: lmfao.

ID: there is no rooms.

DD: ... changing tent pix?

DD: why do you live in a tent?? are you an adventurer?

AA: oh my goooooood, he meant in the storne, hadean.

SA: we aren't shopping in the tent.

AA: ^^^^^

ID: oh.

AA: also, prni, you gotta make surne he doesn't buy anything lame.

ID: sorry i don't go clothes shopping you guys.

SA: i will.

ID: i have three shirts and two pairs of pants and this shirt isn't even mine. give me a break.

AA: and y, totes an adventurnern, dd.

SA: dd, hadean is actually a fashion icon.

SA: you see, they're trying an experimental style.

SA: it's called minimalism.

SA: have you heard of it?

DD: wow that is not very much clothing even i have a lot more than that and i barely packed anything before i left aside from my lab equipment!! DD: we should go shopping together id you really need more clothing than that

SA: it's all the rage now.

DD: and yes i have but i thought that meant you have a lot of the same outfit and you style it differently

SA: oh my god.

ID: ...i have a lot of the same outfit.

ID: and style it exactly the same.

AA: omfg.

ID: and by a lot i mean. 2.

DD: thats how they make it look so nice!! DD: your outfits arent going to look nice if they are worn out because you only have two of them!

AA: evernyone else is being a dumb chucklefuck, dd, so, like.

AA: so let me say, on theirn account:

AA: y, pls go shopping w/ them. >:}

SA: i know how to shop.

DD: omg yay!!!

ID: i wonder what happened to my hooker uniform tho.

ID: wait what.

DD: wh

DD: your what

AA: he's an adventurnern, dd.

AA: duuuuh.

SA: hooker = / = adventurer

DD: that is not what i meant by adventurer!!!!

SA: --

AA: what sornt of adventurnern does not have a hookern outfit?

SA: !!oh!!

ID: i'm not actually a hooker.

SA: my god

AA: how else arne you gonna get in the brnothel to crnawl thrnough the vents to kill the duke?

DD: ............... i guess i did not think that was a thing outside of video games!!

ID: sometimes you need to dress the part tho.

AA: go thrnough the frnont doorn?

AA: puhlease.

DD: that makes sense!

AA: ofc it does.

ID: yes it does.

SA: sipara

SA: oh.

SA: you are all.

SA: awful.

SA: Peopple.

SA: I thought i was bad.

DD: you havent seemed like a bad person to me at all sa! 😦

DD: and neither does anybody else here really i mean i am pretty excited to try a burger and i wouldnt have done that without you guys!

AA: >:}

DD: omg maybe we can have some together when we go shopping?

ID: get cheese on it, cheese makes it better.

ID: well sips we are going to port port to drop lal off, right?

ID: sips can totes go on the shopping adventure too, right dd?

AA: y, y.

AA: wait, what.

ID: =:)

DD: oh there is nowhere good to shop here i dont think the town is so small!!!

DD: we should to go to the coastal city i got to see some of it on the way in and it is much larger

DD: and it is not that far away by train

ID: there we go!

AA: i wouldn't want to intrnude on yrn fancy, like, boy bonding time. >;0

ID: sips can totes use some fashion tips dd.

DD: omg!!

DD: i love giving fashion tips!

DD: the secret is BOWS

ID: perfect!

ID: sips could use some bows!

AA: fuck off, i've - oh my god.

AA: bows, like. AA: in yrn headfluff?

DD: i mean unless you are making fun of her fashion sense in general which strikes me as a little bit mean i am sure that you dress just fine!!

DD: and yes!! DD: and also i have one on my back!

DD: like at the top of my shorts its very fun to twirl with and it is nice and gauzy in the wind its almost like swimming again!

ID: sips, you twirl right?

AA: i

AA: have nevern twirnled so much in my goddamn life as i would, uh, with a bow.

AA: >:?

DD: i mean if twirling is not your thing i am sure we can find you something else its not like the style i like for myself is what everyone else likes to wear

ID: we'll find a style all your own sips!

DD: yes exactly!! 😄 ❤

AA: hahaha. >:}

AA: well, y, as long as we find one forn hads too. AA: did you know he's got fluff down to his glutes??

SA: oh, yes.

DD: yes i saw earlier when we were doing selfies and i think you said that you are the one that brushed it and i wanted to say that you did a very good job and it looked very beautiful!

ID: sips has a funner figure to shop for i think. we should focus on her.

SA: please, style it too.

DD: and yes we can find a style for everyone you and me and id and sa!!

ID: she's famous y'know.

SA: we could loop braids and put a bun in the back.

SA: very chic.

DD: and oh dear is she i am sorry i did not realize

SA: woodland chic, even.

ID: she needs famous fashion flair.

DD: omg!!! that sounds very fun maybe we could get some bright colors

DD: and something more flowy for id though i guess not so much that it is elven even though i admit that is the thought i had between the hair and the braids and such

ID: ...flowy.

SA: oh so.

DD: do you not like flowy we dont have to do flowy i just thought it would look nice with your hair maybe

SA: legolas.

SA: it's your favorite, Hadean.

ID: pris. D:<=

SA: alright, alright.

ID: i need stuff that won't get caught up on stuff.

DD: omg haha we can totally do something like that!!

ID: i do a lot of climbing and fighting and stuff. adventurer and all.

DD: oh that makes sense you are an adventurer after all!

DD: i suppose we will just have to see when it is time to pick out items what you like best and what matches with it !! ^_^

SA: Oh, look.

SA: I just had an extended case come up for this perigee.

SA: I'll be stuck in Provenance, I suppose.

SA: I'm very sorry.

ID: D:<= what a fucking shame.

AA: whaaaaaat.

AA: >:'{

DD: oh!! 😦 DD: that is very unfortunate but maybe we can do another time! DD: i hope it is not too much work for you i recall you mentioning you finished another case recently and really that seems like a lot of effort so i definitely wish you the best of luck in your endeavors!!

SA: ...yes.

SA: it was. exhausting.

AA: it's okay, dd, we can all totes go shopping next time in prnovidence.

AA: why, i hearn they've got the best burngerns on the entirne continent.

AA: full of, like, hoofbeast meat, and blood, and shit.

SA: ...

SA: you know what, I changed my mind.

SA: I won't take that case.

AA: >;0!

AA: dd, show me pics of yrn bow, btw.

DD: i do not think i want to eat anything that is full of feces!

AA: ..........

AA: ..........................

DD: and omg! DD: yes one moment!

AA: >:??

DD: and oh dear i am sorry i think i misunderstood the terminology that you used

ID: no actual shit in the burgers. don't worry.

DD: it is late and i am a little bit tired i am afraid!

ID: unless you go to the reaaallly cheap places.

DD sent thefluffiestbow.png

DD: but yes oh my goodness that all sounds very fun and we should totally visit sa!

SA: i believe that's beyond cheap, Hadean.

SA: no. No please don't.

DD: oh

DD: um!!! DD: sorry

SA: Providence is full of. Crime.

SA: and trafficking. yes.

DD: oh dear

SA: It would be very unsafe for Sipara or Hadean to visit.

DD: oh dear!!

ID: we're strong rusties, we'll manage.

SA: 🤦

DD: are you sure you are doing alright then sa i mean that sounds like a lot of trouble!

AA: aww, prni, therne's no need to get all concerned abt us. AA: we'rne strnong independent rnusties and we'll manage. besides, we'rne wornrnied abt Y O U.

AA: that city sounds RN O U G H.

SA: i am quite alright, thank you.

AA: also. okay. ngl. AA: that's a qt fucking bow.

ID: clearly we should go visit to give you some support!

ID: but if you're soooo concerned.

ID: we can go to the port city dd mentioned.

SA: Yes.

SA: yes let's do that.

DD: omg haha tyvm aa i am very happy you think so!

DD: and oh dear maybe it would be good to go to the city! DD: sa sounds like they maybe dont want to be in their city all that very much and it would be a good chance for them to get out!

SA: no, I rather like my city, thank you.

ID: i haven't seen the ocean in like. 3 sweeps.

SA: I have a view of it from my loft.

DD: i am very confused about who wants to go to what city now!

SA: it becomes less. awestriking. when you see it every day.

ID: we're going to the port city that is actually a port. and not riddled with crime.

AA: .. idk, but you ppl sornt it out. AA: i gotta get a trnuck tmrnw, and. idk. wherne the fuck you get those.

AA: so i'm gonna go figurne that out. >:?

SA: a ... dealership?

ID: do i have to sit in the middle.

DD: i suppose id did just decide where we were going so that is that!

SA: --

SA: oh that will be. good.

AA: y, lal alrneady called windowseat, soz.

ID: gdi.

ID: i hope it's roomy. =:I

AA: i do not have sa's mad buxxx, so, like, lmfao. AA: y. let's hope. >:}

AA: crnoss yrn frnonds!!

ID: my horns are gonna scrape the top of it probably. =:'(

SA: I'd offer you all a ride but I only ride a motorcycle.

DD: oh dear that sounds uncomfortable!

DD: maybe we could go to a salon and have your horns polished if they get scraped id!

SA: I think he meant he would scrape the felt off the roof.

DD: hornicures sounds nice it has been a while since i have had one after all it is a little bit embarrassing to go into a salon with broken horns

DD: and oh well they are nice regardless!

ID: what's a hornicure.

DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: its when you go to a salon with your friends and you have them sand your horns and polish them and glaze them!!

DD: and sometimes you can put on really cute designs or accessories like rings and

SA: You know.

ID: hahahah sand my horns.

DD: its really very very fun!!

SA: as we do, Hadean.

ID: i had them polished like a week ago. for the first time.

DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: we are definitely getting you a hornicure!!!!!!!!!

DD: you will love it!!!!!

SA: in all seriousness, I need to go lie down again. I am rather dizzy.

ID: =:I does it hurt.

SA: i will see you all later.

DD: oh dear that sounds very alarming maybe it is because you were working so much

DD: i wish you a restful sleep please be well!

ID: ...yeah... rough night. =:I bye pris.

DD: and no they do not hurt at all! DD: it sometimes pinches your cuticles a little bit if the people doing it are not very experienced but we will go somewhere good to make sure nobody hurts you! DD: i want your first hornicure to be really really nice!

ID: uh how often do they deal with floating horns.

DD: ....

ID: perhaps i am not cut out for hornicures.

DD: probably not very often!!

DD: well they could still do your other two horns!!

DD: and i am sure doing a floating horn would be even easier since it is not that big and has no cuticles!

ID: i mean my floating horn is like. bigger than sips' horns combined.

DD: well it is not bigger than both of your other horns combined and i am sure they get plenty of customers with very large horns so it should not be a concern dont worry! ^_^

ID: i mean... i guess.

DD: really you do not need to be afraid i promise they are very relaxing and soothing and make you feel really super nice!!

ID: i mean really i'm just a lil wary of your willingness to wanna do this stuff with some rusties.

ID: we're a little. out of your lane.

DD: .... oh

DD: um!

DD: what do you mean??

ID: i mean. why do you wanna hang with us.

DD: because you guys have all been very nice and introduced me to burgers and you seem like a lot of fun!

DD: and i havent gone shopping or gotten a hornicure with some friends in ages and it seems like it would be a really nice time!

DD: and also you need more than two outfits!!!

ID: i guess that's a better reason than most have.

DD: oh dear

DD: i am sorry if i have reminded you of bad past experiences i promise i am just looking to make some new friends and you guys have seemed very friendly so far

ID: it's fine, a rust just has to be a lil wary.

ID: i mean. we're the same shade as the trolls you probably have testing your stuff. whatever that is.

DD: i understand!!! DD: at least i think i do??? DD: um! DD: i do not want to say the wrong thing!

DD: and actually there are mostly yellowbloods in the facility though there are some brown and maroonbloods around and some olives and there is even one cerulean psychic roaming around!!! DD: or maybe two DD: um i admittedly cannot really tell if there is one or just two that look very similar it has been very confusing

ID: pfff you must mean gliese.

ID: and... not-gliese.

DD: oh does that mean there are two??

DD: that is a relief to know i was beginning to think that i was going to talk about them at one point and get it wrong

ID: yeah there's two, dw.

ID: but yeah. facility stuff can make some of us rusties a little wary.

DD: well if it makes you feel any better i am not working for them they have just volunteered to allow me to offer to their participants who would like to try out some of my new prototypes that are in the troll trials stage!

DD: they are all very safe and such the only issues are with connection speed

DD: and integration capacity!

ID: if you say so. i have no idea what that stuff means.

DD: it mostly means that when things go wrong it just makes people feel like things are going really slow or not all the way until they disconnect!

DD: but i cant really go into more detail than that

DD: because it is technically still in beta!

ID: ...that does not really clear up the confusion but okay.

DD: but yes i am not fleet i am a member of a private organization and i do not think i am actually old enough to work for the empire

ID: man now they're drafting young seadwellers.

ID: does no wriggler get a break these days.

ID: what happened to leaving a troll be until they hit ascension.

DD: wait what

DD: are you being sarcastic or did you misread what i wrote?

DD: i am having a hard time telling over the internet!

ID: that's my charm dd, i'm sarcastic and truthful at the same time.

DD: !!!!

ID: mostly truthful-y rn tho.

DD: that sounds like a very confusing sort of charm!

ID: you get used to it.

DD: but yes i suppose then i should clarify that i said that i am not conscripted at all!

DD: and am likely too young to be so

ID: but you're... working for a company that works for the fleet?

DD: in fact my best friend and i have started our own company and it has grown to quite a large size!! DD: the fleet has actually purchased a contract with us recently

ID: looks like some hazy ass lines right there.

DD: oh no we are working with the fleet and it is our honor to due so but it is our own startup and it is contract-based product supply!

DD: i do not work with the fleet directly even the pr things are mostly my good friends strong suit i am mostly research and development

ID: if you say so. seems like a confusing mess to me.

DD: well!!

ID: but i'm not a. researcher.

DD: there is working for somebody as in you are hired buy them

DD: and then there is them coming into your restaurant to buy a meal

DD: in the latter situation you are not working for them they are simply making a purchase!

DD: that is what we are like!!

ID: oh. okay.

ID: i guess you must be good, if they're buying from you and not like. an adult.

DD: i try to be humble most times but it is true that we are very very good!! DD: though i muse credit my good friend with a lot of it because admittedly the product does not make the company and there are plenty of fabulous inventors around that have gotten nowhere so it is their talent at management that has gotten us this far

ID: sounds like a complicated balance of you making good stuff and then being able to sell it well.

DD: yes exactly!!!

II: Management does tend to factor more into successfully selling products than pure talent, I'm afraid.

DD: it has probably been obvious as of late but i am not the best people person so i am very grateful to my friend for putting up with some of my silliness in the past and handling the business side of things

II: Not that I am doubting DD, but unfortunately surface appearances are usually what trolls consider when buying.

DD: i do not think i would have even thought to sell any of my work without them!

II: Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, DD.

II: You are perfectly pleasant

II: Merely a bit unpolished

DD: oh well i am very glad that you think so haha i am glad that i have not misstepped too much yet

II: DD, trust me.

DD: and that is one way of putting it!! DD: but hopefully i will be able to polish myself more soon and maybe the first step is going to get our horns polished id >:D

II: I have moved in highblood circles since I was a very young troll, and have observed _far_ greater errors than any you've made.

ID: maybe you two should go on a. hornicure trip.

DD: but we are already going on one together!! DD: you do not need to have them that often but maybe some time later ii and i can besides we are already going to a restaurant in civitrecce ^_^

II: We can certainly go for a hornicure trip afterward, if it wouldn't be too much time out of your schedule!

ID: i mean me and sips are traveling rn, we won't be back in port port for a while.

DD: well yes and i would love to but it would be pointless since id and i are already getting our horns done but maybe we can do a movie or our claws instead or something??

DD: and that is okay id i am not free at this exact moment anyways and admittedly i do not actually know when people want to hang out

DD: i was hoping it is kind of soon so that i could have my first burger with you guys but i suspect that i may have to break and go eat before then!!

ID: yeah def go eat.

ID: try some chicken tho.

ID: and rice.

ID: chicken and rice are good together.

DD: okay! I have had rice with fish so hopefully rice with chicken is just as good!

DD: speaking of which i should probably go do that right now to be honest my stomach is positively hurting now that i pay attention to it and i have had nothing but trollbucks all night!

DD: ...day!

DD: hopefully there are places open this late!

ID: you'll find something i'm sure. g'day.

DD: good day!!!! ❤ i am very excited to go shopping with you!

[veteransystem]

Plural Friendly Fire: It Sux 4 Evry1

So, I was going to leave it for the night, but against my better judgement I read our entire dash, including this ask and response (in a series of angry anons). And this segment of the anon rant stuck with me:

“actually also u can help being what u are! just stop pretending! its so easy when ur not traumagenic bcuz it actually isnt an illness u suffer with!”

Because this statement, and the attitude behind it, is why most systems don’t last a year out of the closet. Of all kinds: endogenic or traumagenic, neurogenic or spiritual, fictive/factive or split or walk-in or any variation, past or present. In every category of plural there is, systems that have recently come to terms with the fact that they do not experience life as one mind in one brain have been bombarded with the message:

1) you must perfectly match this particular extremely strict model, primarily defined in negatives, stereotypes, and impossible catch-22s (e.g., “all systems with fictives are fake,” “traumagenic systems have just been brainwashed by their shrinks,” “you’re not real unless everyone can front on demand BUT if people front for any reason other than ‘just feeling like it’ they’re fake”, etc.)

2) if you do not perfectly match the model, you are either fake or mistaken,

3a) if you are mistaken, you can stop being mistaken instantaneously by obeying the first total stranger to yell at you in ALLCAPS, or

3b) if you are faking, you can stop faking by Deciding Not To Fake Anymore, and this is an easy, painless process which you can do Right Now and will cause you absolutely no harm.

The number of systems who have had to check into psychiatric hospitals for suicidal ideation over “failing” at 3b is larger than you’d think. Trying to force yourself to Stop Being Plural tends not to work. The damage done to cooperation, in-system trust, and whatever we’re calling co-consciousness this year can take years to repair, and will leave serious scars.

And the thing is, much of this is aimed at a perceived “enemy” category, but primarily hits vulnerable systems of the same subcommunity.

Here’s another statement, drawn from this angry ask from the same series as before:

“go get a brain scan and tell me if ur amygdalar and hippocampal volumes are around 15% smaller bcuz of childhood abuse and trauma like DID systems are”

Now, the research backing up or refuting this statement, I’m going to leave to @solipsistful and @lb-lee, since they’re old hats at it. What I’m going to do is break down is how this statement, though aimed at a quoigenic system, is not exactly a helpful thing for vulnerable traumagenic systems to come across either.

First, “go get a brain scan”. What kind? CT? MRI? PET? In the US, a medical doctor would have to place the request for imaging, and most trauma-certified therapy specialists do not hold a professional medical degree, so the request would have to be placed by a psychiatrist working closely with your therapist. 

Are you a traumagenic system with DID or OSDD on Medicare because dissociation, flashbacks, and other symptoms of severe trauma prevent you from working? Medicare Part B only covers “medically necessary” clinical diagnostic laboratory tests—”medically necessary”, in this context, means “is it an essential, non-optional requirement for diagnosis or treatment?” Since the diagnostic criteria for DID and OSDD in the DSM-V does not require brain imaging for diagnosis, Medicare will refuse to pay for this procedure. You definitely do not have between $2000-$5000 to pay for it out-of-pocket.

Are you prepared to fight over the phone every day for months trying to get the United States government to recognize the medical necessity of finding out the size of your amygdala and hippocampus relative to a control subject when it’s not part of the diagnostic criteria for a particular illness? You probably already know the miserable process of being rejected for disability income and having to repeal the decision in court.

Second, “tell me if ur amygdalar and hippocampal volumes are around 15% smaller”. Now a neurologist is going to have to be involved, since 15% is not a dramatically obvious difference to a non-specialist’s eye and even your psychiatrist is probably going to have a little difficulty with this one. You’ve got three professionals and an extremely expensive yet “optional” test involved to satisfy an angry system on the internet. Finally, though, you go through all of this and come out the other side with confirmation, rush to Tumblr to tell them...

...and they don’t believe you. “You’re just saying that; what’s your proof?”

Now you need to show them your brain scan. Maybe you’re lucky and were given a disc with the data on it. Maybe you’re also lucky enough to have a computer powerful enough to handle the software necessary to analyze that data visually. You throw yourself into it and figure out how to use this software just well enough to take a screenshot of your “amygdalar and hippocampal volumes” and toss that up with a scan of the neurologist’s written assessment for good measure.

Even if the original anon accepts it, someone at some point is still going to go, “Nope, it’s fake, you totally got that off Google Images.” You, already exhausted and dealing with mental illness, have just spent ridiculous amounts of effort getting an extremely expensive scan of your brain and putting it on the internet in order to prove you are Really McReal when the mere fact that the scan is on the internet will render it suspect.

"This is a strawman argument,” you might say. “That’s an absurd series of hoops no one would ever go through.”

But that is my point. I will be extremely surprised if there are more than five traumagenic systems on this site who have had brain imaging where the data has specifically been analyzed regarding the size of various volumes relative to what a neurologist would generally expect. Most traumagenic systems do not know how their specific brain compares to research findings, because most have not had this kind of imaging done for this purpose. Some may have had imaging for other diagnostic purposes, but then it hasn’t been assessed in this very specific way. They likely don’t have a personal copy of their own brain imaging data, and if they did, where are they going to find a qualified, verified, and trustworthy DID/OSDD-friendly neurologist to assess it for free?

It’s a near impossible qualification for most traumagenic systems to meet, to have jumped through all the hoops to acquire this very specific knowledge about their brain to meet this extremely specific criteria unrelated to the actual diagnostic criteria of DID and OSDD, but it’s being thrown at a quoigenic system as if it were Something All Traumagenic Systems Know.

A very newly out system could read it and think, “Oh no, we don’t have a brain scan and we can’t get one. Everyone’s going to think we’re fake!” or even “Gee, we’ve never had a brain scan. Our therapist didn’t say anything about needing a brain scan. If he doesn’t think we need a brain scan, maybe our trauma wasn’t that bad? Does he think we’re faking? Are we faking?” or “Oh god, one day we’re going to be the ones being screamed at and torn to pieces and who the fuck even knows what it’ll be for. I mean, brain scans? Fucking BRAIN SCANS? I can’t fucking handle this, guys. I can’t fucking handle all of us having to walk on eggshells Or Fucking Else, we’ve got to go”.

All three lead to genuinely traumagenic systems quietly fading out of the community, never to be seen again. Because someone decided to Protect The Vulnerable by Attacking The Enemy without thinking about splash damage.

Meanwhile, most endogenic systems probably just looked at it, thought “pfft what a nutter” and went on with their day.

Hate whoever you want to. It’s not like I can stop you from thinking or feeling a particular way. Just remember that your actions can hurt people you don’t want to hurt in addition to the people you’re taking aim at, and if you’re not careful, you might even hurt them more than the ones you hate.

—Ilya

[dy1kjxxa-blog]

Can insurance companies access your bank account?

Can insurance companies access your bank account?

My freind got in a car accident and now he is being sued. He has small investments in mutual funds. Can the other oarty insurance company access his bank accounts and investment and find out exactly how much money he is worth? Other than that he doesn t own a house and doesnt have a car or any other type of assets. He is currently not working right now.

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Tip cheap car insurance for 17 25 year olds

Tip cheap car insurance for 17 25 year olds

Tip cheap car insurance for 17 25 year olds

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***Spoilers Below***

It’s crazy how big some of these movies blow up when out for a limited time in theaters. I remember the theater being packed when the My Hero Academia movie released, so it was no shock that the same thing could be seen for Dragon Ball Super: Broly. It really makes you wonder why they don’t simply release these movies like everything else in North America. Either way, here we are with this new addition to the Dragon Ball Super franchise, and who wouldn’t want to see the Broly movie that those who have already seen it are raving about?

Upon seeing this movie myself, I couldn’t help but have mixed reactions about this movie in contrast to the other two. Don’t get me wrong, at the end of the day I enjoyed this movie, however there was a lot of things they did risky going back to the times of Planet Vegeta and the origin of Broly.

Let’s start with the positives of this movie. The pacing was great. The pacing and the momentum of this story carried over from the same things they did with the Tournament of Power. Not too much time talking unless necessary is always a plus. There was plenty of set-up and things to address about the points in time that this story took place, but we never spent too much time on dialogue over action. I mean, if we wanted that, we could easily go back to the tv series. While plenty of the past was also rehashed, there was just as much new content added to those last moments before the end of the Saiyan race. It was also welcomed that there was more perspective to take from what was going through everyone’s heads at that time. The twisting of Broly’s origins was something to get used to. You get so used to this berserk giant who was just simply out of control and angry because of the baby who wouldn’t let him sleep in peace. Now they’ve added more context to his situation and with greater motivation to hate both Goku and Vegeta. The addition of his father as well was interesting since he steered the direction of this vengeance quite effortlessly. It was obvious seeing where things could go wrong, but it was the role he played that mattered more than anything else.

Planet Vampa nonetheless was a creative destination to send Broly. The exploration of this planet made it easy to understand how Broly would be was raised with that burning desire for vengeance and develop this “unbelievable power”. The exploration in general was a treat since some of the most appealing aspects of Super are the things that we discover beyond Earth.

The difference in Goku and Vegeta stood out from the very start, and that was something worth recognizing for their usual habits that would have gotten pretty old in this movie. They had their moments of playfulness, they had more moments where they took this situation seriously. Overall, they had their heads in the game from start to finish which left little room for predictable errors on their part. The stunts they pulled in the other two movies would have made no sense to risk trying again when the enemy is Broly.

Compared to Battle of the Godz and Resurrection F, Broly is the most action-packed. I mean, off the bat they already did better than the other two movies just for cutting all the cannon fodder. Too many times these stories will lean into everyone getting the crap beat out of them, and then Goku and Vegeta swooping in to save the day. You know, because they can never be there from the start when you need them. This changed things up where we were able to jump right into the fire. The choreography of the fights was the best thing that this movie had going for it. It went without saying that Super as a whole stands out because it took us back to a place where the fighting styles and techniques outweighed everything else. The shift in stances, many counters, and just the flow of one move into the next made all of it so engaging. The only time you could be taken out of the fight is when they start leaning on blasting and effects that are for the most part unneeded. How Frieza was even dragged into the fight was highly entertaining. You just knew that seeing Frieza in gold form had to mean that he was involved in some way. That was actually my favorite moment since he wasn’t entirely taking this seriously until forced to.

Frieza truthfully was a source of humor that I did not expect. We all wondered what his plans would be now that he’s alive again, and this did not disappoint. We learn that nothing has changed entirely for the guy, but he at least thinks before he acts now. Particularly when it came to that one thing that would drive Broly into full berserk mode.

I couldn’t help but have some issues with the transition between the last story arc and this movie. Everyone seemed so blown away by the power of Broly, but this isn’t the first time that any of them encountered this kind of power. Kale and Kefla are the first experience that these two have had against that power level, and they defeated someone with that power level. So what makes Broly so different. Is it because he’s just Broly? A big plothole if you ask me. Especially if they are bold to even throw it in there that Broly could surpass Beerus. Impossible when that kind of power hasn’t even been put to the test against Ultra Instinct. Next we have the power difference between Vegeta and Goku. I was cool with the idea that Vegeta already mastered Red. However, if he was still excelling at this rate, how does Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta have a harder time with Broly than Goku? I know I wasn’t the only one bothered by this too.

Despite the action being able to excite, there was the problem of the animation style which took over when key action sequences were executed. It looked like they pretty much stole the animation style of the videogames. If there’s one way to distract a viewer, it is with drastic changes to the visuals. Especially when you are jumping back and forth between 2D and 3D. I would have preferred something of just a higher quality like what they did with the bigger fights from the Tournament of Power. That was smarter decision-making. This was not.

I would never say that this movie was overhyped, because that is a personal problem. What I will say is that this movie didn’t completely meet expectations. Dragon Ball Super: Broly was action-packed, it was thrilling, and it was humorous. I admittedly laughed more than I thought I would. There just happened to be one too many things that they took risks on that ultimately did not pay off.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly Review ***Spoilers Below*** It's crazy how big some of these movies blow up when out for a limited time in theaters.

[callmewhateveryouwant108]

There’s a strange feeling of freedom when you competely let go of something that’s toxic in your life. Even though I could, at one point, see a happy ending (if all the pieces had somehow lined up), and even though what was toxic to me felt so good and real for so long...being totally ready and open to finally accepting its over feels ok. I’ve gone through the anger and sadness. Multiple times. I’ve gone through hearing him say hurtful things to me, and me to him. I’ve gone through the guilt and shame of being what I was to him. And for the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to fill up the holes this relationship left in me with knowledge and strength and understanding. I’m not there yet. But I’m working on it and have clear goals and ways to test them. I’m still overwhelmed with pretty strong feelings - but the difference is, this time - they don’t revolve around him and being with him. These feelings are about being sad for him - although I’m not sure why I feel sad for him - these are his choices. He’s a grown man. He’s a behavior specialist...he knows what he’s doing. Maybe I’m sad that, as a fellow human and someone I care about, he’s either lying to me, her, or himself and I don’t think he’s happy doing that. And I’m sad for me still..that I wasn’t strong enough, at any time during this relationship to stop things on my own, for my own good. That I could’ve been working on my own life and healing from wounds other people caused before him, but instead I fell so hard for a person I could never have and gave myself new wounds. Without having gone through this though, I’m not sure I would’ve ever done the work on myself I’m doing now. It seems to take a huge upset in my life to make me realize what I’m doing isn’t working. So I am grateful for the experience, if nothing else.

The feeling of freedom isnt exactly new for me. I felt it when Jeff left. I felt it again when my divorce was final. It wasn’t comfortable - it came with tears and challenges and having to be the strongest I’ve ever been for myself and my kids. But it was unmistakable - a weight lifted off my shoulders and a sudden, uncomfortable ability to see and breathe and feel things in a different, healthier way. All the mistakes came into focus. All the time wasted. All the things I did and didn’t do were suddenly clear. It was painful and beautiful at the same time. And it’s happened now. I could make myself mourn the loss of something I thought irreplaceable - “real love” - if I sat and thought about the beginning of us and the good times, and what I thought the future would be like. But I’m not going to do that. Those times, as good as they felt, were never meant to last. They were training for the REAL “real thing” with the right person. They were times of pleasure and self esteem building - but only on the surface, because right underneath there was shame and confusion. It was toxic.

He said a while ago that he’s afraid of holding me back and keeping me from meeting the right person. It hurt so bad to hear him say that because it was disguised as something so noble and lovely, but really it was him admitting to me that he knows he’s not the right person. And instead of hearing that, the truth, I was caught up in being the one to decide that for myself - whether I would wait or not and whether I would be with someone else. Now I know. I know it is my choice. It’s up to me to protect me. And it’s up to me decide who I’m with and why. Being free from the constant hope and the fantasy of this somehow ever working out, as sad as it is, feels so much better than knowing I’m still riding his roller coaster, preparing for whatever is coming next. Watching him flip flop and be unable to be honest to someone - anyone - me, her, himself is over and it feels ok.

It’s more than ok, actually. It’s exciting. I’m sad, yes. But my world has opened up suddenly. I can go on dates without him being on my mind the entire time. I can meet people and not instantly measure them up to him and watch them fail every test I give them because they aren’t him. I can be open to finding someone new...and going into all this with experience and boundaries now isn’t so bad either. Most importantly, being free from this has opened me up to idea of loving myself. Not NEEDING anyone. Especially if it’s toxic. Not compromising basic human expectations of respect and honestly. Being aware that some people, no matter how much you love them, will be unable to love you back. And knowing when it’s time to stop the war - to stop fighting for a fantasy and move on to living life.

I am free from it. Once and for all..and it’s my choice to let it die and learn from it and move on to bigger and better things.

[fancycollectionfury-blog1]

TRADE INSURANCE..................?

"TRADE INSURANCE..................?

i mean if its safe to buy the insurance from a trade insurance owner as if he then puts your name in his policy and drive your own car for social purposes?""

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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TRADE INSURANCE..................?

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TRADE INSURANCE..................?

i mean if its safe to buy the insurance from a trade insurance owner as if he then puts your name in his policy and drive your own car for social purposes?""

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On an estimate how much does car insurance cost?

On an estimate how much does car insurance cost?

What would be a good first car thats cheap?

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Currently driving my fathers old 2002 Mitsubishi Galant (basic 4-door car, nothing special), and planning on buying a Suburu BRZ (sports car) when I turn 18. My birthday is Dec. 25, I am currently 17 and I have had my license since I turned 16. I have a B average in school and I am planning on taking defensive driving also. I have had no claims or accidents at all. The car is just going to be for commute, probably about 13-17,000 miles a year (going to be traveling home from college). I will be on my parents insurance, but I was just wondering the quote. I tried doing it on a insurance website, however they don't give you a quote if you are under 18. I am planning on getting collision coverage. Thanks in advance.""

Does my son have to be put on my car insurance?

My son is 16 and he is driving my husbands car and my husband tells him that he cant drive the car everyday because he is not on the insurance. Does he have to be on the insurance?

What is the actual meaning of Insurance?

A explaination of Insurance?

If i lease a car do I pay insurance?

I am thinking about leasing a car, do I have to pay insurance?""

Can I get a driver's license without a car or insurance?

I'm older than 24 and never got around to getting a driver's license because I went to college at a young age. Now I have an opportunity to use my mom's insured car for a couple months, and I want to practice and get a driver's license, just so that I'll have the driving test out of the way (and won't feel so weird being this old without a license). However, I still don't plan to have a car, I'll be moving somewhere that I don't need a car, etc. I don't want to have to pay any insurance for having the license. Can I just get a permit and practice and take the driving test and get a license, without ever buying a car or auto insurance? And then I won't use the license, I'll just have it until it so happens that I might need to drive (perhaps use the insurance that you can buy along with rental cars, if I need to rent a car?). Also, I'm not sure if I'll be covered under my mom's insurance for permit driving because I am older than 24. I really don't know much about this. I just started looking into it about an hour ago. I've had an illness for a couple years that prevented me from driving but I'm getting better and thought maybe I should learn to drive now.""

What doctors or insurance that accepts MEDI-CAL CARE IN CALIFORNIA?

I LIVE IN SF IN THE BAY AREA, ANY DOCTORS OR INSURANCE THAT CAN TAKE THIS?""

How do you feel about insurance companies pulling your credit report?

I live in Michigan a state where it is law to have insurance. I have also been denied insurance by a certain large insurance company based on my credit score. I just don't think they should be able to pull your credit report if your required by state law to carry it. Hey if i don't pay it cancel me.

Why is my car insurance ridiculously expensive?

I've been using go compare for a Peugeot 206 1.1 litre petrol, and have been given quotes of about 6-8 thousand pound! I know for young drivers (im seventeen) car insurance is expensive but I was expecting 2-3 grand, am I maybe using a bad site?""

I need some help!!? Car Insurance prediciton:?

I am 16, and i have had my G2 for 2-3weeks....and got my G1 10months ago in ONTARIO. I am not the primary driver on a car(my parents have 2 cars....they are the primary drivers) Tonight i slid off the road and hit a tree( roads were slippery and wet as it was snowing) and maybe 3-4 thousand dollars damage was done to the front of the car!! How much will my insurance go up per month??( it was a 2007 hyundai elantra with snow tires)""

Car insurance to help disabled grandparents?

My grandfather is ill in hospital and my nan is finding it difficult to drive to the hospital and back on a daily basis. Aunt has MS so she cares for her too, thus I was wondering if anyone knows of a type of car insurance that will enable me to help out with their daily living. I obviously know that standard insurance would work, but I'm a 21 yo male and don't have the funds to get full independent insurance. Thanks for any help.""

What happened to Obamacare lowering the cost of insurance?

A watershed moment in the ongoing disaster of ObamaCare,as Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius finally admits that health insurance premiums are rising because of the Presidents health insurance takeover, per the Wall Street Journal : http://www.humanevents.com/2013/03/27/hhs-secretary-finally-admits-obamacare-is-raising-insurance-costs/""

""Car Insurance claims, time limit to file claim?""

I got in a auto accident a few days ago it was a three car pile up. The guy who caused the accident was cited and his car was towed away from the scence. Out of all three cars his brand new lexus was the least damaged, my car on the other hand is a total. His insurance company progressive is telling me and the other victim there is nothing they can do as far as a rental car for us or payments for our medical bills or to fix or total out our cars until they speak with there client who is avoiding them. Is there not a time limit? Because I have to go to work, I have childern and I am pregnant so this is a bad situation for me, my insurance company is not going to pay for all the damages just a few so it would be pointless for me to file thru them. What can I do and expect?""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I screwed up and was charged with DUI a few months ago (I was driving a car). I figured my insurance would double or triple but no, the cheapest I could fine is close to 4,000 a year! I was floored & absolutely in shock. My question is, would motorcycle insurance be cheaper being I got a DUI. I live in Fl. Do I even need insurance for a motorcycle? Everyone is telling me a different story. I need help please! Thanks! -Alex""

How much will my insurance increase after a MINOR fender bender? (ballpark figure please)?

After 11 years of error free driving and on-time insurance payments, I managed to back into someone in a parking lot going about 1 mph. My car was NOT damaged, except for a scraped bumper sticker. The other driver had cosmetic damage only, and being the good guy that I am I gladly helped her navigate the insurance claim. I figured that if it was my car that was dented, I would want it taken care of. Do onto others, right? Anyway, the total payout of the claim was $556. That's roughly seven months of my premium payment. So, how much can I expect to see added to my yearly premium? 10%? 20%? more? Also, how long will it take to recover back to my previous rate? Finally, considering that I've paid this company much more than $556 over the years, how much of an increase should I accept before I start looking for a new carrier? This is technically my second insurance company - I was on my parents policy until I was 22 (I'm 27 now). So I haven't been with them forever, but I am not ready to jump ship unless they really screw me. Thanks!""

""Muscle car, sports car insurance (old models)?""

Hi, im 14 and starting to get interested in buying a car, i want a old muscle car type like a stingray Corvette, Mustang, or Camaro, something of the type, like models 60s to 80s, i asked my dad about insurance on something like that and he said it would be expensive because of the fiber glass bodies and other things, i just wanted to see if he was right or wrong. so if someone could tell me all about that, i would appreciate it thanks!!!""

Difference between a deductible and co-insurance?

I am shopping for individual health insurance and I do not understand the difference between these terms. Also, if a plan has a $1000 deductible does that apply to the entire 12 month term of the plan or every single time I receive health care services? And what about co-insurance?""

Can anybody give a good estimate on how much my insurance would be for me driving a 2002 ford mustang?

Im 16 years old and i'm a girl if that matters. My mom will not let me get one but I really want that to be my first car. Also can you give me some ideas to convince her to let me get it. I really need the actual price of how much the insurance would be.

Will a 'C' Licence make my insurance cheaper....?

I currently hold a normal car licence (I'm 18) But I passed my Category C test today. For those of you who don't know what a category C vehicle is. I doubt you will know the answer to the question so please don't make up some rubbish... Will this make my car insurance cheaper considering I can drive a vehicle about 5 times the size? Also, I'm hoping to get my Artic licence next year, Will this make my insurance go down even further? I mean for my car, I already know my Lorry insurance is going to be INSANE. But I've got in the army as a Driver anyway so that doesn't really matter.....""

TRADE INSURANCE..................?

i mean if its safe to buy the insurance from a trade insurance owner as if he then puts your name in his policy and drive your own car for social purposes?""

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-does-go-auto-insurance-payments-work-jayden-crosby/"

[batchaoticcollectionnight-blog]

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

"Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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On average how much does it cost to insure an apartment building?

I am looking into purchasing 2 triplex apartment buildings. They are both brick buildings built in 1990. Both have been maintained fairly well and have a really good price on them. ...show more

Is This Right? (Retinal Detachment/Cataract/Lens/Insur... Question)?

Let me make a very long story short and get right to the questions. I have moved across the United States by myself at the age of 20 with no insurance covered by my parents, nor will they ever if they could. I had a retinal detachment in my left eye. Paid out of pocket for an eye doctor appointment, he freaked out and told me to go straight to the emergency room for emergency surgery since my entire retina was detached. After my surgery, half unconscious too, a social worker got assigned to me because I was under 21 and legally dependent on the state. So the state paid for my surgery. I had a 2nd one too because the first failed. During my 2nd surgery I had cataracts in my eye so they removed the natural lens. And they never replaced the natural lens since they feared the retina may detach again like the first time. But it stay together and I turned 21. So therefore, legally independent by the state. My check up appointment was after my birthday which the front desk of the eye section declared I must pay $80 for every check up visit, which they wanted me to come in every other week. And if I did not pay, I could not go in. Due to my 6 months of surgeries and recover time I had no money, and was not working. I live with my in-laws, and they were taking care of me, but they are certainly not going to pay my medical bills. So here I am now, age 22 and I have been working for about a year. My job does not offer health insurance until you worked for a year, and even then, there is a certain month you can sign up. I have been walking around for over a year without a natural lens, or ANY lens in my left eye. This is in no way like being blind. My doctor had told me that if I got my license and drove, if ever in an accident, I would get in serious trouble because you are not supposed to drive this way. Not that I do, I cannot see correctly so it is wicked dangerous. Having no lens in one eyes messes with your other eye. Hard to explain unless you have literally had this situation before. Sunlight glares into my bad eye, then into my good eye. Same with darkness or bright lights in general. I am actually very blind at night because of this. This is literally ruining my life. I have no money to pay for insurance, or the surgery which can be easily be 10,000 dollars. Is this legal for a county hospital to do? I have never heard of anyone in my situation. Even the thousands of times I have googled and searched. Never heard of anyone in my shoes. What are my rights here? Is there some way I can fight this? Where is my justice? This is holding me back so badly in life. Please someone with real help and not a crappy site they copy and pasted, help! I need some real human help!!""

17 year old 1 day insurance?

Any insurance companies do 1 day insurance for 17 year olds?

If I bought car insurance in one state and then move to different state do I have to buy new insurance?

I bought insurance for the year in one state but just moved to a different state where I will have to register my car again and get a new license plate. If I already paid for the year, do I have to get new insurance? If I do have to get new insurance, can I get my money back because I didn't drive for the whole year while under my insurance company's policy?""

Health Insurance for 20 yr old in NJ.?

I live in New Jersey. I'm 20. I havent had health insurance since i was about 15, and I live with a friend's family because I have no parents. My Mom died in 2008, and my father is absent. Is there anyway i can get medicaid or any type of affordable insurance ? I read that Medicaid is only available to the elderly, disabled, and people with children. If thats correct, do i have any other options ? (My mom had medicaid and i was on her policy before she died). Also, im in school full time, but not at a university, so the school doesnt offer healthcare. Any opinons/information is appreciated.""

Relief based health insurance in MN...please help?

I am considering garnishing wages of someone that I won a judgement against. The court administrator told me that the person is exempt if they are currently or have recently been a recepient of relief based on need. She could not answer whether or not MinnesotaCare (health insurance) is relief based. The insurance related examples listed on the form she gave me are: Medical Assistance, General Assistance, General Assistance Medical Care, and Emergency General Assistance. I know that Medical Assistance and MinnesotaCare are separate things, but can anyone tell me if MNCare is considered relief based??""

Cheap insurance for someone who had foreign licence?

Do you know any insurance company which will insure a small van (suzuki carry), and will recognise my previous 8 years driving experience in Australia? I have only just got around to getting a British licence (as the road rules and driving standards are similar, I can just trade my Australian one in, no test), and been living in the UK just over a year. Have tried a few insurance quote websites, and they all seem to be quoting me the same as a brand new driver who has just passed their test - i.e. extremely expensive! thanks for any tips!""

Has anyone used Service XK for car insurnace before UK!?

Hello, I'm just on a price comparison site looking how much car insurance would be, SERVICE XK keeps coming to be the cheapest by 500 pounds on some occassions but when I looked for their direct website I couldn't find anything? Was just wondering is this real or a false company. if you could help i'd really appreciate it, thank you :) This is a UK company by the way and is advertised with GoCompare.com""

""Car Insurance..if i go out of state, but my parents pay for the car insurance and i live in another state...?""

What i meant to say was..if i have a car, it is in my parent's name, and i move out of state, is it possible to still be covered by the insurance even if it isnt from the state it is being payed for in? or do i have to get insurance and the car changed to my name in another state? i hope someone understads. thank you for you time in reading this :) 10 points to the best answers! or lets say Correct answer!""

Car crash and insurance?

i had a crash today, it was not my fault (was told by the police), i had my insurance, but the other party does not, i was told i have to pay for my car full coverage because the other party does not have insurance. Is that true? please help me, thank you!""

How much does motorcycle insurance cost in kansas for a 16 year old driver?

im 15, about to turn 16 and want to get a motorcycle. i only have a few dirtbikes that aren't street legal and im thinking about getting a 1993 gsx750r this july for my bday. how much would i expect to pay for the insurance? i live in a rural area so it SHOULD cost less right?""

Insurance Broker Question?

On average how much does an insurance broker make in california? Or how much just a well rounded guess nationwide it does not matter... When an insurance broker gets commision from a company for helping them get more customers...around how much percentage does he cut from the company?

What would you recommend as a first car for a young driver?

must be cheap insurance, affordable and any good insurance companies for young drivers?""

Buying a motorcycle and driving without insurance in ontario?

I was considering to buy a motorcycle in ontario a cbr125r, and if i do make the purchase and drive without insurance, how much could i be fined? and im 18 and i would be considered to be a new driver, how much does motorcycle insurance typical cost for a year?""

Motorcycle insurance????

Can anyone give me an average quote for a 19 year old? Kawasaki zzr 600?

What is the cheapest car insurance in Florida?

I'm 20 and I'm with Allstate they have me paying $1000 each 6 month for Insurance too much money they killing me help.

Rough Maryland motorcycle insurance rates?

Hello, I have two questions. First some info though, I live in Southern Md and am a 24 year old male who currently has a completely clean driving record. Right now I have full coverage with Allstate and am paying around 200/month. My question is how much should I expect my rates to jump if I get lets say a lower powered motorcycle ~$7500. Does the age of the motorcycle have much bearing on the rates? And now my more obscure question...What about an electric motorcycle at $15000? The only reason I thought it might be lower is in general they are simpler to operate, not as powerful, and have few breakable parts. Thank you""

""NJ auto insurance (NJCURE), anyone ever have any problems with them?""

The new insurance offered to NJ (because our rates are the highest in the nation), anyone ever use them or have any problems with them? Any advice I would appreciate.""

Who is the cheapest car insurance provider in Nichigan?

Who is the cheapest car insurance provider in Nichigan?

Cheap insurance for a 16 year old female?? for a 2009 Toyota Corolla LE?

Student has 4.5 gpa? In California

Question about Car Insurance?

At the moment i have a G2 lisence. If i get my full G lisence will my insurance be less?

Motorcycle insurance?

my motorcycle insurance policy is about to expire next month, so im just looking into companies/experiences to see if i should switch (since getting quotes isnt as easy as they make it sound!!). ive been with progressive for a year and pay 93$ a month. i was honest when i joined and said i had less than a year of experience-- i'd literally learned how to ride right before signing up with them, though because i learned with one of those motorcycle safety courses, i got a small discount with them. so, now, i have a year of experience as well as a year of owning my bike (which i paid for in full and am the sole owner of). i'm 20 year old female, have a kawasaki ninja 500r, use it for pleasure purposes. my driving history, unfortunately, is not pristine. in 2009 i got a speeding violation for MORE than 10mph over the speed limit (that was in my car), and last month, sadly, i was in an accident that was my fault (also in car) (no injuries). i havent had any infractions on the bike. i have a motorcycle endorsement on my license and, as i said, passed a motorcycle safety foundation course. i got a quote with geico, and their prices were really just obscene. so, basically, i just want to hear from other ppl who deal with the same thing. how much do you pay for bike insurance? have any good recommendations for companies? what companies are known for being a little bit more forgiving about accidents, seeing as i just had one (again, in my car, not my bike, but i know it matters). any tips, etc? i know being young and not having a lot of experience are not on my side, just thought id try :)""

4 years after DUI... insurance?

so when i was 21 i got a dui (it's called an oui here in Maine, but same thing). PLEASE DONT JUDGE ME I KNOW I WAS YOUNG AND STUPID. anyway, i ended up selling my car to pay for the whole mess since my license was getting suspended anyway. since then i have been a happy bicycle commuter! now the time has come for me to become an adult woman again and get my license back because i have enrolled in a college that is not in biking distance. I have signed up, paid for, and in 2 weeks will be taking the DEEP class required by the state of Maine in order to be licensed again. basically i am curious about my insurance premiums. i haven't had my license for almost 4 years, but i have read online that your insurance will have to be sr22 and all expensive and whatnot for THREE years. also, i have since turned 25 and will be 26 soon, so i expect a rate decrease from that. i guess my question is: have i managed to bypass the higher insurance rates because it has been 4 years? if so, it almost seems too good to be true. i am highly suspicious. can anyone give me some insight as to what to expect when purchasing my insurance? thanks chums""

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

Car insurance help please?

I'm living in Ireland and I'm hopefully getting a car next year. I'll be 17 or 18 when I get it and I'm just wondering about how much car insurance would be for me? I'd be just getting a car like a Honda civic or something like that. Any help is appreciated. Thanks

Low Cost Affordable Individual Hmo Health Insurance Question:?

Are there any easy to access resource for low cost affordable individual hmo health insurance? I've looked a little, but found nothing. Any tips, or ideas? low cost affordable individual hmo health insurance sites? Anything you can share would be cool. Thanks""

Fraudulent car insurance claim against me?

hi my problem in a nutshell is my vehicle was hit in the rear while it was parked, when i confronted the driver we had an argument and the police were called no offences were committed and the police left after me and the other driver exchanged names and addresses. A month or so later i received a claim for neck injuries to the driver and his 2 passengers for approximately 20,000 for an accident that he said i drove into the rear of him which was totally false, i have witnesses which include the police officer who attended to the fact that the other driver hit my parked unattended car, i have lost my no claims bonus and i applied for a job as a driver which i did not get because of this pending claim, my insurance company have tried to contact the other driver who has not answered for a number of months and when i spoke to my insurance company i was informed that the other parties insurance company does not have the full story i.e they have not been told that he hit my vehicle and i have witnesses to prove that i am at a loss because i have been told it can take 3 years for the claim to close if the other driver does not answer any of the correspondence he receives. any advice please""

Auto insurance?

does someone know of a less expensive car insurance place in germany??

What is the best resource for getting short term car insurance?

I am looking for a short term car insurance in UK, can someone please recommend some affordable and reliable companies?""

Renters Insurance Liability?

If my neighbor has a fire that does some damage to my apt./belongings, will the neighbor's renters insurance cover my damages or will my own renters insurance cover my damages?""

Where can I get an affordable liability insurance for my new small business in California?

I'm trying to open a new residential cleaning business. I already got a quote from state farm but it was way too expensive. 2500 dollars per year. I'm new in this so, I can't afford that amount because I don't even have costumers yet. Thank you!.""

Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?

Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?

Medical Insurance?

I need to know the best way to get insurance for me and my wife. My employer offers it for $53 a week. and it looks mediocre. I am not sure if their is another way to do this. Please advise. any help would be appreciated

What is the formula for calculating the monthly payment for an Auto Loan?

The bank is financing my wife for 9606.00 at an interest rate of 7.5%. The Term is for 5 yrs (60 months) What should the monthly payments be? I used to be able to do this, but I think I'm missing something. Here is how I did my math: I took $9606.00 and multiplied it times 7.5% and came up with $720.45. Then I added that $720.45 to the $9606.00 and came up with a total of $10,326.45. I then divided the $10,326.45 by 60 (months) and came up with a total of $172.10. Meaning that $172.10 would be my monthly payment. I went to bankrate.com and used their auto loan calculator and they came up with $192.48 The bank came up with $205.00 (I think they added credit, life, and disability) So what the HECK am I missing......Please help!""

Car insurance confusion?

Ok, I'm 17 and I just moved to Florida with my 18-year-old boyfriend. He just got his license suspended so in a few days I'm going to get my first license here in Florida because I have a job to get to. (I've had my NC learner's permit for over a year) My question is basically, what are my options for car insurance? Can I have my own policy or is my only option to be put on his insurance? Please help!""

Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?

Who has the cheapest car insurance in maryland?

Insurance on a 95 camaro?

Im considering buying a pre-owned 1995 camaro for my first car. How do I find out how much the yearly insurance would be? Its not a convertible, and also its through allstate in new york. Would it be more than a 1998 maxima?""

How do I get affordable higher coverage health insurance?

I live in New York. I'm 22. I was on my college insurance plan, but I lost it when I went on medical leave. I had an extension plan, but that also expired. I have no job because I'm too sick to work. If I would go back to college before I got a job. Right now, I'm on a strictly emergency health care policy with no preventive care that runs me about $188 a month. I need more coverage though. The problem is that I'm not eligible for most plans because I don't work. For the coverage I need, it will cost over $1,500 a month. I can't afford that, I don't have income. What do I do? *Before my college plan expired, I was going to doctors. I am diagnosed with POTS, and I was having sleep studies where I was being treated for day time sleepiness. Never got an official diagnosis, but I probably have Idiopathic Hypersomina. Both of these require occasional tests and I will need to see doctors regularly until I have a treatment plan. I'm also a cancer survivor and need to go back in to get a battery of tests every year or so. Out of pocket, just a an office visit cost around several hundred dollars. (I have no lapse in coverage.)""

Is there a website for health insurance quotes?

im goin 2 b 19 & my current health insurance will exp. i need to find health insurance fast as well as as dentist insurance. sum ppl told me not 2 get eye insurance cuz payin da monthly payment vs. getting da benefit isn't worth it. meanin u pay more than u get out of it. but i want ur opinion as well sum other ppl told me 2 go 2 a hospital 2 ask sum ?'s of what health i should get, meanin like find out what im cover 4. like i don't want 2 pay hidden charges. like basically i need help cuz nobody is guidin me on what 2 do after im not cover. like im on my own.""

""Question about health insurance, dental insurance?

Hey so my tooth is really hurting? I'm thinking of getting dental insurance and then going to the dentist. If it turns out I need a root canal or something really major-- will they pay for it? I mean-- do I have to declare tooth pain before hand or how does this work exactly? So confused...

Help with car insurance?

It's my 17th birthday tomorrow, I am going to use the money I get for drivin lessons. But what I want to know is; Would I get insured on a range rover sport at my age and how much would it cost? This is the car I really want but I don't know if I'd get insured for it. I don't mind waiting, but if I can drive one now thatd be great! Thanks :)""

How does a car insurance company make money?

Does the government back the car insurance companies?

Car Insurance for Teenage Boy?

I'm looking at cars and wondering what the average car insurance for a 16 year old boy is. I know mustangs and sports cars are higher, but how much higher than a truck. And does insurance go down over time without accidents?""

Will car insurance always be expensive when I first purchase it?

I've never had car insurance and I'm about to purchase a car. I've been researching different companies and they are all pricey. Should I wait until I'm 25 to get my own insurance since it will be cheaper or is the price based off other factors? I'm currently 24 years old and never had insurance under my name.

How do Life Insurance companies make money?

If you get a 500,000 dollar policy pay 250 a month that would take 2000 years for them to make the money back. How do they make more money then they put out?""

What's the best health insurance coverage and best insurance company?

I'd like suggestions on the best top-notch health insurance coverage/ company in the U.S or just in general. I'd also like to know if there are other companies abroad who provide health insurance coverage for U.S citizens. Finally as a young kid just out of college , with first career job, with no health issues what should i be looking at as far as coverage plans and expenses, looking to save money. I had a student health coverage while in schoolm, but it's since expired. Thanks""

Looking for affordable health insurance?

My employer does not offer health insurance. Does anyone know of a private health insurance company? I was with Blue-Cross Blue Shield and they kept raising the rates. I don't qualify for any assistance due to low income. Also some coverage for dental.

Does motorcycle insurance help future auto insurance?

My driving record isnt very good. So i was considerong a motorcycle since insurance is less expensive. In the future i would like car insurance. Will having motorcycle insurance say for like a year help me when i get auto insurance later on. Ive never been insured. 21 yr single male 1 accident of 8000+payouut 3Pts on license

How much (approx) would insurance be for a 1.1 saxo?

The exact car is '2000 CITROEN SAXO 1.1I DESIRE BLACK VTR REPLICA' a few modifications (cd player with bluetooth, black front lights, smoked rear lights, front fogs, full colour coded vtr body kit, DTM mirrors, vtr alloy wheels, lowered on 40mm G-max springs) i'm not even 17 yet but i was wondering what would the cheapest possible *(legal) insurance be on this car thanks :) !!""

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

How much is the fine for no insurance in texas?

police set up a routine check up on a one way street and everything was good seat belt, DL, inspection sticker but the cop forgot to ask me for the insurance so he sent someone else to chek my insurance and thats when they got me""

Are States legally allowed to require car insurance?

Can the State legally mandate that citizens buy insurance from consumer agencies that have little to no regulation of price and guaranteed service? Can we consider this question with these items. item 1: Premium rates are as high as the industry chooses to set them item 2: Insurance companies are not required to provide to low income families (as are utilities, and other necessity services) item 3: Insurance companies only pay a small percentage (20%) of claims, and only 6% without judication.""

What is health Insurance?

I know it is insurance but what does it cover if so and so happens.

Car Insurance and Credit Cards?

In less than a year I'll be getting my own credit card and I'll have to have car insurance. I am trying to find the best credit card and car insurance for me so that I won't have to spend money and time later to change it. I am unsure what kind of credit card is best. I am going to try and will most likely succeed in having the best credit. What credit card do you suggest to a high school student who will go to college and to the armed forces. Also I want to know which car insurance offers the cheapest car insurance, I want one that offers rewards for students, safe driving, clean driving records. Any help will be much appreciated.""

After getting a speeding ticket how much does your insurance increase on average?

After getting a speeding ticket how much does your insurance increase on average?

How do pilot insure themselves in the USA?

Is that covered by the owner of the airplane or do they need to have their own personal insurance?

How much would decent health insurance cost in the USA?

How much would decent health insurance cost in the USA for an elder person, say 65, who has no health history in the us due to being an immigrant? I am talking about the decent type of health insurance one gets when working for a fortune 500 company with low premiums and 20 dollar copays. ANy advice?""

Tail lights and coop's young driver insurance?

I live in the UK and have been getting decent quotes from cooperatives young driver insurance However if I tick a box on the online quote saying that I have modified the car from the manufacturers specification (but does not let me say what it is that I have changed, ie the taillights) it will not give me a quote. Should I contact them about this or will it be ok to say that I have not modified the car and if I were to have an accident which would damage the tail lights that they would only replace them with manufacture tail lights?""

A month or two of car insurance?

Are there any car insurance businesses that pay for just a month or two, not the whole 6-month policy that you pay a portion each month. Just that, I pay for a month or two and that is it. I'm going to have a temporary vehicle to move around in but its only for said 1 or 2 months.""

What will my insurance roughly cost when I'm 19?

Hello, I'm 18 now and about to get my drivers license. I plan on getting a cheap car with low insurance the first year of driving for me. I always wanted a Mazda RX8 and I know that theres no chance of me getting insured for the car now so I was wondering when will it become affordable for me to get a Mazda RX8? Like for example what would you suggest my salary should be to realistically own that type of car in the UK? Thanks!""

How do i take out a car of my insurance?

So my brothers car got repo and i wanted to take to out of my insurance but the lady says i cant wtf

Is their affordable Health Insurance for full time students?

I'm a full time college students & I no longer have Health Insurance because I turned 19. I can't go on my dads plan because its for people 65 & over or disabled. I've looked on the internet and haven't really found anything afforable besided for International students & and not internaional. I'd like to find insurance like they can get from ISO where they can pay $27 per month. I haven't found anything like that for myself & only paying 27-40 dollars a month would be GREAT! Can anyone help me?

Least cost in teen insurance for either buying or leasing a car in NY?

Am i better off leasing a new or used car like a honda accord, toyota corolla or is it cheaper for the insurance to buy an Audi a3""

So im 18 now and i am currently going to school. Iam trying to find out the cheapest auto insurance out there.?

My parents currently have me under mercuary, but i would like to buy my own insurance. Any suggestions?""

How do I find health insurance if I have been told we are uninsurable?

I am asking this question for my m-in-law. Retired early, had extensive back surgery, f-in-law has diabetes and possible heart issues. Going to be coming off of COBRA in California, and are looking for health insurance. Aren't there health insurances like Medicaid/Care that cover hard to insure people that are in > 50yr age group?? What if they change their residency from Calif. to Texas?? Does it matter??""

Motorcycle insurance full coverage!?

how much will it cost me? im 18 and im going to take the MSF course...my bike is a honda cbr 600rr 2005 i could i put my dad under my motorcycle? he is 50 and no tickets he had his m1 for like 10yrs but not no more

""Flipped over my car, how much will insurance be now?""

I'm 16, I got in a big car accident.. I flipped over my car twice. Fortunately, I was untouched and I was the only one involved. Naturally, I was taken off the insurance policy and lost my car. Before, I had the good student discount so we paid $350 for half a year as a full time driver. How much would I have to pay to be a full time driver now after the accident? My dad said $2000 for a full year but it can't be that much? Will they strip me of my good student discount? How much will it cost to be put on as a part time driver now? Will it go down after a year? Will the insurance go up a lot? It won't go up as much as it would otherwise since I was the only one involved and there was no property damage, right? I don't understand how it could happen to me, I'm a model student, I have straight A pluses in all advanced and AP classes and I was even following the law when I had my accident. =/""

""Car insurance cheaper in New Orleans, LA or Suffolk County, New York??""

My daughter recently moved to New Orleans, LA as an intern temporarily....does anyone know if automobile insurance, all things being equal, will be more expensive in New Orleans, Louisiana or Suffolk County, New York ??? much thanx all""

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in New York with a Senior Class D Licsence?

Like if i put it under my dad's name as another driver for the car?, or how much will it be for myself aswell? Let's say for example, because am getting a 2004 bmw 328""

Need advice on getting speeding ticket reduced?

I got a ticket for 50 mph in a 35 mph. The officer reduced the ticket from 55 mph to 50 mph and advised me to plead not guilty and show up in court. He said he would be there and ...show more

How much is motorcycle insurance at 15?

I know it cant be pin pointed, how much does it cost you annually? Even if you are not 15. What bike is it for? I want a 2008 Hyosung 250 cruiser.""

Can anyone tell me how do you get cheap auto insurance rate and from what company or any website or link?

How do you get cheap auto insurance rate and from what company?can you tell me?

Who is offering the best and cheapest car insurance in the uk?

I am finding the ever increasing price of car insurance is becoming a bit of a burden. I am at present with one of the recovery companies and the costs are spiralling.....Help an old geezer out...PLEASE....Frederick.

How does health insurance work in the US?

I am a non-US citizen and need this information to do a case. Specifically: 1) Is health insurance compulsory for everyone? 2) What happens if someone cannot afford it? 3) In the event that a medical procedure needs to be done, does health insurance cover all the bills? Does the patient need to pay anything extra? 4) Does the patient have any say over what kind of procedure he can take? Say if 2 treatments are available for his condition, can the patient choose the more expensive treatment? And if so, is it covered by the insurance? Thanks for reading this. Your help in answering any part of the questions would be greatly appreciated!""

How does the insurance company know what Annual Mileage I am actually doing?

I bought a car last Sunday from a private seller, but was not able to drive it home because of no insurance. The person kindly offered to keep the car in his garage till I get an insurance cover. Today I went to pickup my car, but that guy was not there, his friend was there to hand me the keys and drive back home. When I test drove the car it was 87k miles exact, now today when I collected it, it went upto 87,806 miles, +806 miles extra. The seller is not answering my calls, the only thing worrying me is that I quoted my Annual Mileage up 6000miles, but already my car raked up 806 miles in one week. Please help, and don't abuse coz I am already down being cheated? Why bad things happen with do-gooder?""

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

How much would insurance cost on a 96 Chevrolet camaro?

Monthly? I spotted a camaro for the first time and it was completely gorgeous, I almost cried. it also runs good. The cost is pretty crazy for a camaro only 2,000. My mom said that I ...show more""

Why do I need car insurance?

Ok, i have my permit and will get my driver's liscence soon, but i am not going to buy a car for a while. If i am just going to borrow one of my parents' cars, to go shopping and stuff like that, do i need car insurance if i never borrow it overnight or anything like that?""

How much would it cost for insurance for a 18 year old with a 2001 toyota celica? Monthly and yearly?

In Canada not US

Is there an affordable health insurance plan for someone who doesn't make a lot of money?

I'm 23 and I work 2 jobs. I go to school part time. After I pay all my bills I don't have much money left.

What's the average public liability insurance cover figure in the United States?

What's the average public liability insurance cover figure in the United States?

How much does your car insurance cost?

Im 18, third party fire and theift on a Nissan Micra and its 400""

Do I need to add my name under car insurance?

Hi I just got California driving license.My dad has liability insurance.We have old car so we are paying 300-400$ per year for it.I will not regularly driving that car then what should I need to do? Do I have to add my name under current insurance policy and is it illegal to drive without adding my name? People with 2 or more cars have which type of insurance? seriously we are new here and don't know much about this rules and what people do? I'll be highly thankful to you guys.

Weather Related Car Accident How Much Will Insurance Pay For?

Ok so I was driving home late morning a few nights ago, it was snowing pretty badly making conditions pretty bad, difficult to drive in and especially with my car (eclipse) so I was not doing any more then I could handle. I was on the highway going around 15-25 mph at most. Suddenly I began to swerve and spun out and got turned around and finally hit the guardrail, not much force because I was driving pretty slow to begin with. So the side of my car hit and I ended up facing the other direction. I have noticed there are a few scratches and marks on the front side one on headlight, a little below the headlight and some orange marks along the side, also a crack on the very bottom of the back bumper (not sure how it got there, kinda in the middle) So I was the only one involved and was wondering since it is a weather related accident how much my insurance will pay for? im just very confused because I am not looking forward to body shop and getting estimates, Greatly Appreciated Thanks""

What is the cheapest insurance?

where could i find the cheapest insurance plan for me with any company. Im mainly trying to figure out what the insurance will be costing with the certain car I will be getting. I am 15 years old currently but will be turning 16 soon and when it comes time for my license during the summer I would like to know how much insurance will be. I already know what type of car im getting, A 1998 Camaro z28. Would it be extremely pricy or not too pricy, i just need a ball type figure. once again with ANY COMPANY, what would be the cheapest for a 16 year old with a 1998 camaro z28? thanks""

Do you work for a major corporation and do they offer health insurance?

I have worked at the same place for 20 years. The first 8 they didn't offer insurance. Now they do, but I pay the premiums. How about you? Do you work full time? Does your employer offer health insurance? Do they pay or do you? How many people DON'T get offered the option to purchase health insurance through their employer?""

What is the best and most affordable car insurance company in New York?

Particularly NYC?

Drunk driver ran into fence of ours and his insurance wont cover full cost to replace...what can we do?

recently, an underage drunk driver ran his car off the road and into our fence and tore up about 100 feet or so. we had a company come give us an estimate of around $1000 to fix which includes material and labor...the insurance company of the young man that ran into our fence is only willing to pay around $600 because they are saying that the fence is 15 - 20 years old and didnt cost that much back when it was built.....now, i have a huge problem with this...is it our fault that a drunk driver ruined our fence...should we have to pay out of our hard earned money the rest to make sure the fence is put back? is there anything we can do about this? any feedback is helpful....im so mad i want this to get nationally recognized!""

Will I get my licence quicker if I learn in an automatic? Will the insurance be cheaper if I go on my dads?

Before you say it, I know I wont be able to drive manual if I just learn in an automatic""

Who has the cheapest FR44 insurance in Florida? Help!?

I have Geico now and they are really giving me a hard time about keeping the insurance because of a DUI. I've had them for 6 months. They insist that I pay in full for my 6 month policy and last time I could barely afford it, but this time I definitely cannot afford it. I had my DUI in 2009. Anybody know of lower-cost FR44 insurance that you can make in payments monthly?! P.S. DO NOT drink and drive...even if you had less than three drinks. If you didn't hurt/kill anyone else, it will definitely ruin your life financially for a LONG time!""

How much does medical insurance cost for a child?

How much does medical insurance cost for a child?

How much control does the government have over malpractice insurance policies?

Does our government determine the guidelines for malpractice insurance or is this strictly up to the Insurance companies and the states?

Does my husband need his own insurance on another car?

my husband was insured on his car but its now sold and the insurance run out yesterday, he also drives his business partners car on which he is a named driver on the insurance, now his insurance on his own car has expired is he still covered to drive his partners car even tho he dosent have his own policy? im unsure how it works so just want to double check..""

Will admiral beat an online quote if I phone them?

Ok, So i've been quoted around 1000 for my insurance through the admiral site, I was wondering if they would beat that quote if I phoned them and spoke to them over the phone. Or are online deals always better?""

All car dealerships require full coverage on insurance? ?

Full coverage insurance cost me around 400-600 a month because im 18 and want a sports car do all dealer ships require full coverage to make monthly payments?

Can I add my 18yo niece to my medical insurance?

She is a college student and we provide more than half of her support. I do claim her as a dependent on my taxes, but only starting this year. I know I can keep my own children on the policy through age 26 (if in college, I think), but I didn't know if I could add my niece. thanks!""

""How much is insurance for new drivers? People are saying 1000 - 3000, how can it be that much money... ?""

I am unemployed at the moment, but even with a part time job I wouldn't be able to afford that sort of money a month. I mean that is a lot of money, considering you have to also buy a Car, tax etc. Is this a true amount? I am 22 years old ( nearly 23 ) and I am planning to start my lessons, but I wanted to find out how much it would be to run a car before I started lessons. So I searched for Insurance, Tax, Fuel etc, and the prices for Insurance that people were saying on forum's were crazy! Is this right? Can it really be correct?""

Does anyone know a carr insurance company that quotes and lets you print certificate?

i need a car insurance certificate for wed and my own insurance cant post one in time. does anyone know a web site that quotes and then lets you buy and print off a certificate? not swift cover as they wont insure my car as im only 24! thanks!!

What are the requirements to become a life insurance broker in California?

Do I need to become an agent first before I can become a broker? What are the requirements? What are the costs of being a broker?

Cheapest Motorcycle insurance?

I have a job & have paid my car insurance fully each month since I was 16 it was expected of me. I also tend to pay for my motorcycle insurance I have 2 jobs & go to College. I have had 3 speeding tickets 2 in 2008 & one in 2009 2 were around 10MPH over & the 3rd was around 15ish. I have my reasons for speeding regardless drive down the interstate & find more then 3 people that don't speed..SERIOUSLY I HAD PLACES TO BE cops are prejudice. Anyway I want a 02 or newer Motorcycle & state farm is my current provider although I know that are Top Of The Line & I just want the cheapest insurance for motorcycles. I understand my rates will be higher then average but I turn 21 in a year and it can only drop. I just need some Input here. Thank you!

How much commercial car insurance does one have to have to deliver newspapers?

How much commercial car insurance does one have to have to deliver newspapers?

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

Spring Grove Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23881

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