#*posts something without bothering with comedy*

[gildedmuse]

Fandom rookie here. Could you please walk me through your Zoro/Law and Zoro/Ace HCs? Love your humor btw!

Ahhh! A little fandom greenhorn! So cute!

You have asked the wrong person the wrong question, newbie.

ZoLaw:

Zoro is from the East, and while he isn't use to Winter Island Cold, he naturally runs hot. Law is from the North and while he HATES being stuck on Summer Islands on hot days, he naturally runs cool. They balance each other beautifully when they share a bed.

Up in the North Blue, it's considered weak to admit that you're cold. Weaknesses gets people killed in the North Blue, so having someone imply you need an extra blanket is a direct insult to a person's ability to keep themselves and their loved ones alive. So obviously Law would never need the extra heat.... But he MAY find himself scooting closer to Zoro-ya on the chillier nights.

The handle of a katana isn't the only thing Zoro can talk around.

...

(Cock. He can talk around a mouth full of cock. And Law LOVES it. Its the only time he can stand one of the Strawhats yapping on).

Look, Law is scientifically minded and likes to believe he is very rational (that's open to debate). He's seen Zoro-ya in the sea and knows he doesn't have a devil's fruit. But sometimes it feels like he does. SPECIFICALLY, one that somehow manages to undo every single one of Law's plans. Because the problem certainly isn't in Law! His plans are complex and perfect. But anytime he comes up for one about how to, say, ask Zoro-ya out it always somehow manages to go terribly wrong. It MUST be a devil's fruit ability.

The first time Zoro actually properly asks Torao out, he first bows to and addresses Kikoku. Since it's imperative he has the curse blades permission to touch his master (especially with all the touching Zoro has planned).

Law doesn't get jealous. That's petty and below him

Law has personally threatened at least three shichibukai and one very (also highly annoying) horny yonko. Not because he was jealous, they just need to step off and stop looking at HIS Zoro-ya that way.

If you ask the boys when they started dating, you get VASTLY different answers. Law would argue that while he'd of course taken notices of the other Supernova back on Saboady, the boy then disappeared for two years and besides Law had a lot of plans that he needed to focus on and execute perfectly. They didn't really see each other again until after Punk Hazard and of course Law was very distracted until after Doflamingo..... Then the horrors they saw on Zou, though, admitedly he may have found himself distracted by Zoro-ya once or twice even at the time.... You know, he would say it was Wano. It was Wano when he realized what an idiot the other boy was, and how he absolutely needed Law on the ground watching after him or he would do something amazingly stupid like... Like listening to Law's plan for instance! When Zoro-ya endangering his life was CLEARLY not what Law intended! Yes, that is when Law decided this boy simply couldn't be considered safe unless Law is there to watch after him..... Also, it's sometimes nice when Zoro-ya looks after him as well.... SOMETIMES.

Zoro would say "Did you see Torao cut that island in half?" And that is all he has to say on the subject of when they started dating.

Law has noticed that Zoro-ya doesn't seem to pay much attention to what he wears, just picks up what is nearest and easiest and throws it on. On an unrelated note, Law has been "accidentally" making sure to strip down right by their bed, and leaving his shirts right there. His shirts with his jolly roger.

Nico Robin had to use not just her ability but her most Teacherly voice in order to separate Luffy and Law when Zoro shows up with the Heart Jolly Roger on his shirt. Law's smirking about it (while Zoro remained utterly confused through the entire fight) didn't help.

Zoro is super weak to people playing with his ear. This goes double when it's Torao and his stupid, sexy hands. He already wants to squirm whenever he watches Torao do that stupid switch-switch thing, but once Torao starts to sit closer and, even while reading his fingers seem to find their way to Zoro's earrings..... Twirl twirl twirl, TUG. Its enough to break Zoro's brain.

Historically, Northern denizens tended to have shorter and much more dangerous lifes compared to the relatively safe and stable East Blue, leading to them having a much different view of things like romance and marriage. That's part of why tattoos are so popular among North Blue denizens. However short your inevitably short life is, a tattoo is permanent. You can't change your mind or take it back. It's a way of wearing your loyalty.

Right behind his ear, the same side as his piercings, Zoro has a small black heart tattoo. He got it on their way up to Wano.

Usopp still doesn't understand how Zoro got lost on a submarine. He didn't see him for a whole four days! What's so funny, Robin.....

I actually have a number of HCs for these two that basically boil down to "Each Island should have its own culture, and by extension, each Blue should have its own culture the way each state has its own culture but the USA also has its own general culture." This can range from things like what I mentioned above, about North Blue having historically shorter lives due to the harsher environment or being more technologically advanced. But I also had smaller things like Law kissing Zoro-ya on the nose, since up North that was how you showed affection to family or younger friends and acquaintances. I also went the entire opposite direction of "smaller" and invented an entirely Shinto derived religion that's customs and kami differed based on the Blue.

I even came up with particular weather that happen almost strictly up North (Ice Storms which are incredibly deadly at sea and Black Mist, a yet unexplained phenomena that seems to choke the life out of any one who gets caught outside) and then wrote up an entire "Old North" mythology that explains the two phenomena and why they often follow each other even though one happens strictly on land and the other typically at sea. I pretty much full on created a whole religion and mythology and wrote individual stories just so Law could have a whole culture that belonged to HIS blue. The myth in question involved a human falling for a siren, and just like actual myths I created multiple retellings and versions where the characterization changed depending on the message the storyteller was trying to express. But in most every version the Siren, Isa, had green hair (because of course the North associates green hair with fertility; oh that's another thing, I created a whole sex profession hierarchy for the North Blue with the one common feature among different types of sex workers being they typically dyed their hair green, like that was a way to physically depict that you were fertile and later that you were, you know, open to being fertilized) and regardless of how they are depicted they end up turning into the shards of an Ice Storm either because they accidentally take human captain's life, do so and then regret their hunger, or are told they have killed them and in turn kill themselves. Law was told the latter version as a child and so always felt bad for Isa, who didn't know they were eating the captain's life force but the crew could have just told him and he would have left and instead because he is "different" they think it's better if he simply destroys himself. It's a character Law can both identify with but also see aspects of Zoro in; both his physical appearance which I'm sure to Law he just pictures Zoro now, but also in his loyalty and honor which aren't as important values up North which instead values survival and strength.

As you can see if I presented an accurate list of my HCs for these two, it would be insane and make no Earthly sense. I just really enjoy world building, especially when that world building leads to two hot sword boys pining after one another.

Oh, did I mention the whole "green hair = sex worker" association and just how personally All Hearts Law takes that when applied to his Zoro-ya?

Yeah.....

ZoBurn FistRo PortZoro

ZoAce:

Upon meeting him during Alabaster, every single non Luffy Strawhat was - at least a little -totally into Ace. He just seemed so cool (and also hot.) He's like a sexy Luffy and the whole crew wanted some.

Zoro wanted it the most, bitches

[getyourdirtyhandsoffme]

SKZ Sub!Felix x Dom!FTM Reader

Summary: You are both roommates, you are stressed and need some relief and Felix being the best man he is, helps you by asking him for help.

Theme: Smut, is kinda short, comedy, fluff, kinda cringe

Warning: You don't have a bottom surgery however it is called a 'Dick'. Mentions of your dick being as Folds/Core but not as much. Practically Felix giving you a mighty good stress relief head and handjob. Kinda lazy but not...the grammar might be very bad. It's practically just Felix giving you oral, a handjob, and the end. You called him a good boy a few times. Hair pull and Head control (Felix receiving)

(This is all for fanfic, not real, yeah)

Author note: I finally made and posted something after all of these years...

please like, reblog, or/and comment on feedback etc

College was stressing you out; it was your junior year of college, and finals were coming up. You spend your days cramped in your room studying besides stepping out to get something to eat while your roommate, Felix, sits on the couch eating popcorn while watching his fifth movie, not bothered to notice your presence, not like you care anyway. 

You and Felix have been roommates for 2–3 years; technically, You both are best friends. You both thought living in an apartment together would be fun so you both did exactly that, sharing half of the money to pay the rent.  

He knew you were a transgender man when you first came out to him around your freshman year, giving him a heads up just in case he wanted to switch roommates; however, Felix stayed, not caring about gender, sexuality, etc. He was honestly chill with it, so you both got along right away, along with your hobbies and interests. 

You wasted your hours writing notes, reading, and not giving a single break, making you stressed and in need of relief. 

So, you pause the alarm as you lean back from your chair, staring at the ceiling, sighing from the headache that is making you rub circles on the sides of your forehead, hoping the ache can disappear. 

“I need to get laid.” You whispered to yourself as you looked down at your shorts, having the urge to just touch yourself—something to release the stress—so you did. You rubbed the lining of your boxers where your dick was feeling a bit of pleasure, filling your body and making you sigh.

It wasn’t much, it wasn’t enough; you needed more, but that’s all you got. You continued until Felix, the gentleman he is, barged into your room without even knocking as he stared at you in quite shock. 

You stopped what you were doing as you stared back, looking at him with a huge, concerned expression on your face.

“Felix, first of all...”

“I am so so so so sorry! It’s just that the movie I watched pissed me off, and I had to rant to someone, so I thought it was a good idea to rant it out to you since you are here and doing work, so I thought, ” Felix rambles while blushing furiously as he tries not to look at where your hand is placed. 

“Okay, Felix, first of all, please stop talking.” Felix immediately obeys, shutting his mouth as he just slowly blinks at you. 

“2nd, you should've knocked; you never know what I'm doing.” 

Felix frowns a bit as he looks to the side as he gets scolded by you.

“3rd, since you are here, I do need help.” Now that caught Felix's attention as he looked back at you, processing what you meant as he slowly turned red again.

“You want my help? I- uhh…” He stutters, causing you to just laugh at his sputtering.

“Come on, Felix, I know you want to at least touch me. Do you think I haven't noticed the way you looked at me or around my ex-lovers every time they kissed me? You bet you even wish you were them…”

“But better.” 

You looked at Felix as he stared at you, licking his lips.

“Yes, maybe. If you help me, that is... Unless you can’t prove it, then that's fine. I'll find another way.” 

Felix quickly shakes his head as he walks up to you, getting on his knees as he looks up at you for your permission to continue.

You nodded as you felt his hands reach through your shorts, pulling them down. He notices how wet you are from your boxers as he licks his lips one more time, his fingers teasing the lining of your dick, which causes you to shimmer in his touch.

“Come on, Felix, be a good boy for me. I’m desperate and in need of relief, you know that?” Felix blushes again at the pet name you have given him as he just nods, grabbing onto your boxers, pulling them down, and finally revealing your wet dick. 

Felix gulps as he brings back his fingers and starts touching around the wet folds, then to your sensitive dick from all of the rubbings you did. You moaned slightly, biting your lip as you stared down at the man, touching and touching.

His fingers rubbed your dick up and down, giving you a handjob. As his other hand moves his hair away, he gets ready to suck you off, but it keeps on coming back to the front, irritating the poor man.

So, being the nice roommate you are, you grabbed onto his hair and pulled back for him, almost taking control of his head. He moans from the stretch of his hair as he mumbles a ‘thank you’.

You felt his head leaning in from you, holding his hair in place, reaching through your dick, giving it a few kitty licks until he finally opened his mouth wider as he sucked your dick, making you moan, finally feeling the relief you needed. 

He was trying to multitask with his fingers rubbing your dick and his head giving you a good suck. 

His eyes were staring up at you, moaning from the pleasure that he was giving you, and he even felt himself getting confident from his actions, as he had never had sex before or something like this, so he was happy to see you enjoying it.

Your bottom hips move as you feel the sudden urge to take control of his head, wanting him to go faster, so you do. 

Firstly, you grip his hair, pulling his head back as his tongue was a bit out, staring at you confused, whimpering a bit from the loss of contact with his mouth to your dick.

You smiled as you leaned in, kissing his forehead and then his cheek, praising him for how good he was making him smile.

“Felix, do you mind letting me take control of your head?” Felix shakes his head. 

“No, darling, do you ever want, please?” You smiled as you pulled his head back to your dick, feeling his mouth already back into action as you kept his head in there, moving his head around for a bit.

“Just tap my thigh when you need a breather, alright?” 

His humming response vibrated through your core, making you moan slightly. 

“Fuck, you're so good at this, Felix. I almost feel like you are a natural, just for me. What good you are. 

He tapped your thigh for a breather. You pulled his head out to let him breathe as you noticed a bit of a wet spot on his sweatpants. 

You smirked, commenting on it, teasing him. "Oh, look, you even came untouched; how cute! Just from all of my praises. 

Felix looks away out of embarrassment.

“No need to be embarrassed; it’s cute, like I said. Now, let’s go back; I’m almost there.” Felix nodded as you pushed his head back in.

Felix sucked harder and faster, rubbing your dick at such a quick pace that you almost felt like you were in heaven. It was too good.

“Fuck, fuck~ Felix, I’m about to come!” You moaned as you tried to pull his head back, but he wouldn’t budge. He continued until you came. 

Felix pulled back a bit, as some of the substance was on his face. He licks around as he stares at the state you are in. 

You sighed, feeling your legs twitch a bit.

“Did I do good?” 

You nodded as you took the tissue that was on your desk and wiped its face off. 

“You did so well; I'm so proud of you. You are better than my exes.” You smiled as you gave him more kisses. “Thank you, Felix.”

“You’re welcome!”

[yourheartonfire]

The first sign something was wrong was when the hero opened the door without bothering to check the peephole. Or maybe that was the seventh or eighth sign, after the way the hero had disappeared and the terrible rumors going around and the silence from the Agency and - oh yeah - that dreadful beating they’d taken a month ago from Supervillain that was still being meme-ed and clipped and posted and reposted and -

All right. There were a lot of signs something was wrong, but the hero opening their door first and then their eyes going wide to see who was on their doorstep was the first sign that villain had personally witnessed that something was wrong.

“Nope,” the villain snapped. “Don’t like it.”

“What-” the hero managed to say before the villain’s hand closed around their throat and drove their nemesis backwards into their home, kicking the door shut behind them.

“Don’t like this look you’re giving me,” the villain said and slammed the hero into the wall.

The hero grabbed for their forearm, eyes dim in the gloomy dark. “And what look is that?” they hissed. 

“You should be looking at me with fear. Like, oh no! My death is coming!” the villain snarled back. They snapped one cuff around the hero’s wrist, spun them around. The hero staggered. Staggered! The villain huffed and shoved them into the wall again, this time face first, so they didn’t have to see those terrible sunken eyes in hero’s face. “Instead,” they murmured, clamping the second cuff on, “you look at me with relief. Like, oh yay! My death is coming!”

The hero let out a strangled noise not quite a laugh, half-muffled by the wallpaper. “Go on then,” they said. “Guess you won’t get what you want out of me.”

“Oh yes, I will.” The villain dragged the hero down the hall, shoved them onto the couch of their living room. It was a nice low couch, perfect for looming over. “I want you to suffer, hero. And if death is a release, well. I can work with that. Princess Bride or Pride or Prejudice?”

The hero blue screened - their weary defiance smashed into confusion. And, for the first time, a spark of the real hero’s curiosity. “Uh...”

“You want to die? Tough.” The villain grabbed the remote. Luckily the hero was a Luddite, it only took a few seconds to get the TV turned on and streaming services fired up. “Not only will you not be dying, tonight you’ll be subjected to the treacliest of manipulative schlock that Hollywood has to offer. Or are you more of a comedy...” They trailed as off as they opened the hero’s watch history. The hero winced. “I’m sorry. This seems to indicate your most watched movie over the past five years is Planes 2: Fire and Rescue?” 

“It’s actually really good,” the hero muttered.

“The sequel to the spin off of Pixar’s worst-?” The villain cut themselves off, jammed the play button. “Right. The instrument of your suffering has been chosen. And apparently my suffering too,” they muttered under their breath, plopping down on the couch next to the hero. “You got snacks?”

The hero was staring at them. Slowly they shook their head. “You’re a liar,” the villain grumbled and reached over them to grab their phone. “I’m ordering pizza and you’re paying for it. Why the hell is that airplane wearing literally a corn costume?”

“Watch the movie and find out,” the hero said. “Can you uncuff me now?”

“No,” the villain said, pulling the hero closer as they searched for the most expensive pizzeria in the neighborhood. “You’re being tortured. Shut up.”

The hero did. And if the villain noticed as the tension slowly left their nemesis’s shoulders, well, there was a terrible movie to distract them both.

[notnights]

So obviously it's still too early to properly analyze the exact relationship dynamic between Jax and Gangle in canon. I promise this is less of me trying to find legitimate proof of any character speculations, and more just a string of very quick, messy personal thoughts on the topic. Context and motivation for their behaviors are likely to be explained in future episodes, and until then there's still quite a lot of uncharted territory left to explore. (Although I will say that both these characters are surprisingly more active and engaging with each other upon rewatch. aka, their willingness to be around one another seems mutual, the bullying is not.)

The only information that we can currently gather about Gangle are her canon appearances, the preview screenshot Glitch posted on the official account and to a lesser extent, Gangle's concept art sketches: Alot of it being about her fixation and dependency towards her comedy mask. We don't know whether she's fixated on the actual sensation being happy 24/7 or just the ability to appear joyful around everybody else just yet, or What her real-world equivalent of the mask was, or even if there ever was a real-world equivalent to begin with. But, Personal indictment is that she does genuinely want long term companionship and meaningful connections with other people. Or at the very least, not be subtly ostracized out of social convention. I think she believes that curating her outward demeanor might change the way others perceive her, and hopefully the way they interact with her as well. It doesn't really help that each of the circus crew are all a bit too much in their own heads to notice, one way or another. Even if they do mean well at the end of the day, it's never quite what she's really looking to accomplish. (It also doesn't help that her digital design is so detached from being human either, she's essentially a flat face on a piece of string. One can't really blame her for trying to make the most of what she's able to display tbh.)

So far, we know Jax is apathetic, violent and generally antagonistic towards everyone in the main cast, sometimes deliberately towards the girls. I think it isn't all that farfetched to believe he latched on to Gangle because she was malleable enough to target without facing most of the consequences. Subsequently, there's also the idea of him relating Gangle's tragedy mask to her willingness to comply: It's an emotional vulnerability for her (She already sees herself as less deserving of human interaction in this state, she won't have anyone else to go to, she doesn't seem to like being left alone). It's not farfetched to assume Jax sees the tragedy mask as a more "complied version" of Gangle, more entertaining and easier to string along. Me thinks he prefers it, but again. It's too soon to tell. Anyways something something designated role in group activities something something internalized self-worth I think Gangle and Ragatha have very similar philosophies when it comes to people pleasing and it almost makes me believe in the theory that they secretly don't get along even more.

(btw plz feel absolutely no pressure to respond to any of this at all - Again, very messy thoughts that I barely had time to collect. Ribbun is an unexpected infection with unfortunately very thought consuming brain fodder to me personally. Have a nice day.

I like these thoughts! It'll be really interesting to see how the Comedy and Tragedy masks work for Gangle.

I do agree Jax probably prefers Tragedy Gangle as even if it's only as deep as "she's funnier like that." And Gangle is the easiest victim for him in that state.

We've seen everyone (but Kinger, who Jax kind of doesn't bother too much, and you could argue it's because Kinger doesn't give an entertaining reaction) fight back against Jax's behavior in some way. Ragatha yells at him, Zooble isn't afraid to get physical, and we can tell Pomni had death on her mind when he threw her off the truck. The most Gangle has done is timidly resist for a few seconds before compiling. Steps on her mask, pushes her, grabs her and puts her in the drivers seat, she doesn't say anything.

She has a couple of bite back words, but then Jax just bites back and it shuts her down. Which is interesting because when Ragatha yells at him it's clear he thinks its funny and merely snarks back at her, often getting her to yell more. He gets different reactions out of everyone in the group and picks different entertainment from that. Gangle might be the one he knows he has proper control over.

As for the Ragatha and Gangle thing, I was really interested in the fact no one cared when Gangle broke her mask in the pilot, not even Ragatha who is our outwardly most caring. You could say it's because she had tunnel vision on Pomni, but I immediately interpreted it as, yeah Gangle's mask breaks all the time, she's crying all the time, eventually people stop caring. The boy who cried wolf, etc etc.

Even if Ragatha doesn't have direct conflict with Gangle, the fact Ragatha is someone who internalizes everything, and projects a positive outlook, I imagine someone like Gangle would make her pretty uncomfortable.

Here Ragatha is trying her darnest to keep it together and remain positive, meanwhile Gangle is crying all the time behind her.

"It's not so bad here Pomni, I promise!" as Gangle cries in the background.

Gangle being a constant reminder of how Ragatha, and maybe all of them really feel about being stuck here. Too early to say if Ragatha resents Gangle for this, or how she really feels about it. But if she does that's so sad because (we also don't know yet) Gangle has no control over these feelings, it wasn't her choice for her avatar to work like this.

Which honestly could be a good allegory for how certain people view mental illness in the real world too. Ragatha being a loved one who's uncomfortable with Gangle's moods, or even believes if Gangle just tried hard enough like her (example: keeping her comedy mask safe) she'd be fine. Ooh sad comic ideas.

[perfectprettypisces]

I try to stay out of tabloids and gossip sites and I'm probably end up deleting this, but something really irked me and I felt like I wanted to share...

⚠️ WARNING: LONG POST INCOMING (BUT IT'S IMPORTANT, I PROMISE) ⚠️

To be completely transparent, I am a big fan of both Glen and Adria as actors and I, admittedly, have not seen Hit Man yet. I also don't know personally (obviously) or as people. But I'm writing this post not as a fan, but as someone hoping to work in the industry one day as a writer. Something that bothered me about Entertainment Tonight taking this quote from Glen and Adria's InStyle interview is that it's almost trying to make cheap gossip out of what was actually a very important conversation that they had with the interviewer about filming the sex scenes in Hit Man.

This is the quote with context. The interviewer asks them: This movie is such a tonal mix: action, noir, comedy. How did you find the right balance? Were there other movies you used as touchstones?

In an industry that notoriously undervalues, mistreats, and silences women's voices, ESPECIALLY women of color, I think it reflects well on this film (as well as on Richard Linklater and Glen) that Adria felt safe enough that she was able to provide her input on these intimate scenes and how they can do it in a way that they're both comfortable.

This has NOT always been the case and unfortunately, still isn't the case for many women in film. Entertainment Tonight taking that quote out of context to make a graphic out of it cheapens the entire conversation because unfortunately, not everyone cares to read the rest of the article and will take that quote and run with it. Some people might not even read the caption. However, their caption wasn't that much better either.

This movie doesn't work without Adria and I know that even without watching. Both Glen and Richard Linklater have stated multiple times that they needed Adria to make this film work. By what they say about each other, it seems like there's a lot of trust there.

I hope my obvious fangirling on Tumblr about Glen and Adria (mostly Glen) doesn't discredit this entire post. Still, as I said in the beginning, even if I wasn't a fan of Glen and Adria, I would still side-eye this post after reading the entire InStyle article. Hollywood has always needed to do better when it comes to the treatment of women on film sets and seeing this important conversation boiled down to an out-of-context graphic is just not sitting right with me.

I highly recommend reading the entire InStyle article. With the way they talk about the film, it's obvious they both worked really hard on it and are proud of the outcome.

This could be me overreacting, but as someone who wants to work in a (hopefully but doubtfully) changed industry, I truly despise narratives like these blocking out bigger issues that deserved to be addressed.

[copperbadge]

I didn’t get to post this when I was on the plane, but for the flight back I was seated in an aisle seat, with an elderly man in the window seat next to me and his equally elderly wife in the seat across the aisle from mine. I thought about offering her my seat but I really, really liked my seat, and they didn’t seem bothered when they came in and sat down. 

During the flight I mostly read, and I wrote that thing about the airline food, and for a while just stared into space listening to a podcast, which for me is highly unusual, but I was both tired and unmedicated (no point in taking meds on the flight, might as well save them for navigating customs and getting home). And I’d notice, because they’re pretty visible, what my seatmate and his wife across the aisle were watching on the individual TV screens. 

She was mainlining comedy -- first a Big Bang Theory marathon and then, I think, Derry Girls? In any case that woman soaked up at least five hours of Big Bang Theory which...I hope she slept through some of it. 

Meanwhile, her husband was watching just the grimmest, darkest movies; one was called Prisoners and was about kidnappings -- I wiki’d it after happening to glance over right as someone committed a graphic suicide on-screen, which I could have done without and I question the wisdom of making available on an airplane where we’re all prisoners to one another’s media. 

Anyway then he watched something called To Leslie, which also looked dark as hell and was about the life of a woman with serious substance misuse issues. And then I’d look from left to right and there was his wife watching Sheldon say Bazinga. 

I think maybe they did it on purpose. I think maybe the key to a long marriage for them is to never sit together on airplanes. 

[squarebracket-trickster]

Writeblr Re-Intro!!

Friends and Enemy, hi!

I figured I would write a new intro because my old one is now out-of-date. I have finished my second draft of WIPVII (placeholder name until I actually bother to title it). It clocked in at 77 049 words, which was exactly within my goal of 80 000 +/- 5000.

After many false starts and a deliberate hiatus to flesh out some worldbuilding, I am now working on my third draft!

This blog is really just for me, to chronicle my thoughts as I write, but I have made so many friends on Writeblr already and am always open to making more!

For the actual intro bit:

My name is Kate, Square, Not-Square (thanks Not-Cheeto hehe), Rubiks (thanks Sleepy :3), or whatever nickname you would like for me (she/her). I mostly write fantasy with the occasional sci-fi project on the side. I love epic high fantasy (in the vein of LotR or Wheel of Time) and YA fantasy romances equally.

Funny enough, my current project is none of those things. It's more like a YA twist on a Shakespeare comedy than anything else -- if I had to pick a genre. Something like Twelfth Night, Cymbeline, or As You Like It. It's got a young women running from an arranged marriage, a b-plot to prevent a war, forbidden love, mistaken identity hijinks, a forest setting, bandits, a fairy-tale High Medieval backdrop, and it wouldn't be truly like a Shakespeare comedy without cross-dressing and queer characters.

I have several other WIPs on the go but this is the one I am prioritizing.

I don't post full chapters because I am hoping to query one of these centuries (and also, it's not yet ready for human eyes)... but I do live-blog the process when I am writing and I share my favourite lines.

My goal for my third draft is just to make the prose effective. My first drafts are word vomit. My second drafts are mostly structural and trimming the cringe. My third drafts are where it actually starts to reflect my prose ability.

If you write sci-fi, fantasy, or weird fiction of any kind I would love to get to know you. You are also welcome to hang around if you are interested in watching someone else go through the revision process of writing a novel, or if the concept itself intrigues you. I am happy to answer questions about first/second drafts and writing in general.

[maximoff-pan]

wwoioooooisisis!!! could you do something like steve is always warm and reader always has cold hands? and like reader is always trying to hold his hand and he’s like “NO SYOP YOURE CLOLD”

like last time, I shall attempt to do these as head canons, because honestly, why not?

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

warning(s): do cold feet and hands count as a warning???

this is pretty fluffy and cute, and a quick little post because I’ll be working so much in the next couple weeks, so I hope you lovelies enjoy!

Steve is a touchy person by nature, it’s in his DNA

So naturally, cuddling is his always his endgame

He loves to wrap himself into you (and vice versa), just wanting to feel the warmth of your body on his, and listen as your hearts beat rhythmically together

Except…

You tend to run quite cold

While he runs on the warmer side

Okay, the very warm side

Steve’s also a bit of a whiner, opting to complain about things just for the sake of complaining

Which you find hilarious by the way

Because you’ve not had a day since you started dating where he hasn’t clung to you and gone “babeeeee” in an exasperated tone about something or other he’s bothered by, at least two or three times

So when the seasons change, and Hawkins begins to brace for the hardships of winter, you expect to hear that whining utterance increase tenfold

Because as much as Steve loves to cuddle, when it’s with him, you do too

And unfortunately for Steve, in the winter that means a lot of cold bare feet pressed up against his warm, cozy body

Which granted, isn’t your fault, but still…

Whenever you climb into bed with him, and try to wrap yourself into him, there’s a lot of:

“Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah…”

And:

“What do you think you’re doing?”

And your response is always:

“Um, cuddling.”

Like, duh???

It’s also pretty much the same deal when you go to hold his hand

“No, no, no, no, no.” He’d say. “Get those icicle hands of yours away from mine. This,” he’d gesture wildly to himself, “is a cold free zone.”

You always make grabby hands at him with a mocking pout on your face, because even though it’s true, your hands are very cold, his tone is always light full of comedy

Sometimes, when you’re feeling cheeky, you’ll reach for him on purpose, trying to get a reaction out of him

And he knows it too

“Hands off woman!” He’d say with the most stern look he can achieve, except by the end of the sentence, his face is breaking out into a giddy grin

It’s not hard to tell he’s joking, and that if you really tried/cared, he’d hold your hand at any time

Because he loves you more than he ever thought himself capable (and also because he’s a touch starved man who adores affection and intimacy — but that’s besides the point…)

So, whenever it’s on the colder side, you’ve started a tradition of bringing the both of you a pair of gloves to wear

Your first Christmas together, it was actually kind of a joke gift that you got him, and now he brings them everywhere, even when it’s warm

They’re his lucky gloves

That way, if it’s cold outside, you can hold hands whenever you want, without having to hear Steve complain about how fucking freezing your hands are

As funny as that is

And don’t think this doesn’t go the other way

Because, like mentioned earlier, Steve Harrington, runs warm

Very warm

So when the summer rolls around, and the tables are turned, you best believe you’re going to whine and complain about just how darn hot he is

And whenever you say it, you want to smack yourself

Because of course, Steve will always send you a cheeky grin and a wink, with a smug “thank you babe.”

“I am super hot aren’t I?” Is his standard line.

You groan internally and externally, every time

“Fuck off.” Your tone is full of a teasing playfulness. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

He doesn’t care — he knows you think he’s super hot anyway, despite his body also being temperature hot

It’s a win win for him really

Honestly, at this point, the complaining about each other’s tendencies to run warm or cold has become a habit that’s ingrained into you

It’s fun and light and always makes everyone around you laugh

Dustin will never admit this, but he thinks it’s just about the cutest shit he’s ever seen, and it makes his heart warm every time he sees those goddamn gloves that you got Steve for Christmas years ago

Because it’s a testament of your love for each other

Despite your flaws, despite everything, you will always find solutions to be together

As annoying as your PDA around him can be

“C’mon guys.” He’d whine mockingly. “Knock it off.”

Dustin, much like Steve is no stranger to making whining complaints. It’s a habit that has you smiling, finding a comfort in its existence

“Never.” You and Steve grin back in unison

“You know you love us Henderson.” Steve always teases

And while in the moment, he hates to, he can admit it, he loves you both more than anyone else

“Yeah yeah.” He’d wave off, turning his head back to the tv to the movie you were watching, as you and Steve snuggle on his couch. A soft smile spreads onto his face.

“Whatever.”

[i-heart-hxh]

Hey! I’ve absolutely been loving your posts and re-posts lately. I’ve been heavily getting back into HxH recently and the Killugon brain rot is real. I’d like to get your opinion on something though. I’ve been thinking a lot about the scene during the “Palm date arc” where Killua and Gon are working out at the gym and Killua asks Gon if he’s been on a date before. Obviously this is a pretty famous scene for a number of reasons, although personally I’ve always found it to be one of the most misunderstood scenes in the entire series, as I’ve yet to see anyone really share my thoughts for what I think Togashi was trying to do with it. It actually showcases his writing skills very well imo, and I think that (besides the very surface level comedy of the interaction) there’s 3 things this whole scene is trying to tell us:

1. Killua and Gon have two entirely different conceptions of dating and what it means, with Gon being either oblivious or innocent to any romantic or intimate meaning while Killua is very much the more mature one who understands those parts of dating. This is probably the most.

2. Killua is clearly upset and put off by the idea of Gon going on dates with anyone, and arguably very jealous when Gon tells him about past “dates”.

3. Killua has no desire to go on dates with people, and just wants to stay by Gon’s side “forever” when the subject of dating is brought up.

Now, I have much longer form explanations and evidence for all of these points I can give but I’d like to see your interpretation of my thoughts first, as again, I think this is both of one of the most misunderstood scenes in the whole series, and one of the most important for understanding Killua and Gon’s dynamic and how they feel about relationships

Hello! Thank you so much, it makes me happy to hear you're enjoying my posts. I've been internally cultivating my HxH brainrot for years and it feels good to finally be able to share more of it. I'm so glad you sent this to me so I can weigh in, I'd love to hear your additional thoughts as well!

This is an excellent analysis and you're spot on! I love that you're focusing on a small scene rather than the arc as a whole, because it makes it easier to pull apart each aspect of it and the intended meaning without having to leave things out. I think the larger context of this subplot does nothing but support what you're saying, too.

The thing that stands out to me with these panels is how much Togashi is emphasizing Killua's shock and stress over this. The huge metaphorical boulder, his expressions, he is clearly bothered. And sure, it is comedic because Killua is not understanding Gon here because of their different levels of awareness, but I don't think that takes away from what is being said. The scene could have been set up in a way that doesn't immediately conjure up the concept of jealousy on Killua's part, but Togashi makes it clear over and over again in this arc how panicked and upset Killua is at the thought of Gon going on a date (with someone who is unhinged, but while Killua is certainly concerned about that, he seems just as bothered by the thought of Gon going on a date specifically).

As the audience, I think we gather by Gon's line about Mito that he's not talking about real dates, and that the things they were teaching him were probably innocent (I sometimes see people taking this at surface level, but I really think Togashi is being tongue-in-cheek here and showing us that Gon's view of what dates are is innocent and lacks context). But of course Killua is in the middle of a gay crisis here and he doesn't catch on and misunderstands.

Then, so shortly after, we're into Killua stating he wanted to stay with Gon forever (ずっと). I didn't like how the English version of this line was phrased, seemed like it was being downplayed a bit and didn't contain the word "forever," so here it is in Japanese. I think it's incredibly telling how it goes immediately from thinking about Gon going on dates and denying that he has been on dates (because he was learning to kill and then with Gon) into this line, and especially with how downright pained Killua's expression is at the thought of having to leave Gon, as he promised himself. It's hard to come up with any other explanation for this scene, you know?

This is more my own interpretation than straight-up analysis, but I think this is maybe another straw in the pile of Killua thinking his feelings for Gon are one-sided as well, as he struggles with through all of CAA--in Killua's misunderstood/mistaken view here, Gon has been on multiple dates and has experience with romance and therefore he might be more "normal," while Killua feels like his whole world is Gon--and he doesn't seem interested in the thought of going on dates himself, all he comes back to is wanting to be with Gon. It might widen the chasm between them a little bit in Killua's eyes.

Anyway, all of this is basically just expounding on what you already said. I appreciate how you summed it up so clearly and succinctly! I agree that it's a great example of Togashi's writing, which is very rich, and often even small scenes like this have multiple meanings and intentions we can take from them if we look at them carefully. His eye for detail is incredible.

Like I said above, the full arc's context surrounding this scene only supports the conclusions you came to--there are more examples throughout of Killua's jealousy in this specifically romantic context, Gon's lack of full awareness on this topic, and Killua's devotion to Gon. It's so telling of Togashi's intentions that ultimately the Palm subplot concludes with Palm of all people emphasizing that Killua is the one Gon needs.

[yuri-is-online]

hotarubi/sho anon, just saw your post about vagastrom vice-captain and I believe it's Tohma? He probably transferred to Frostheim after whoever was vice-captain there left (during or after the Clash I believe?)

That's why Jin was kinda cagey around him, and most obvious was when he tells Tohma to "drop the act" and Tohma replies that he's grown used to it before talking casually for a while. Also I just got the feeling that despite being so intelligent and cunning, he gives a vibe of someone who's comfortable using brute strength as well - kinda like how Deuce from twst used to be a delinquent before he decided to change his ways and aim to be an honor student.

And then we have Tohma and Alan interacting and trying to find out the spy - I reread that chapter and his specific words (in jpn) were "It might be strange coming from me, but I hope they lighten the load for you, even a little."

To me it sounds like he feels bad about leaving Alan high and dry without his own vice-captain since there were no other ghouls in Vagastrom to replace him, but clearly he has some loyalty/promise to Jin that took precedence. Which is also why Alan's kinda sensitive in the campus event where Leo straight-up asks about the mod on the car that doesn't let him eavesdrop, Alan was quiet until Leo said he'd probe into Tohma instead, at which point Alan gets mad and tells him not to bother him. Alan probably feels like Tohma is still "one of his people" even after he left the dorm.

Also I saw a jpn artist draw Tohma in the Vagastrom uniform having a smoke and made me go damn that makes sense.

I'm very much on the same page as you about Tohma, Sho anon, I made that post as a sort of throwaway note to the larger one I made about Leo sniffing around for clues about Dante as it's a possibility I thought of, but nothing about Dante screams Vagastrom to me. He's very much closer to Frostheim or what we've seen of Clementia.

Tohma is a deeply interesting character to me. Despite having Jade's voice actor, his personal story seems to be much closer to Ruggie's; we know for a fact he was in Vagastrom "until the middle of last year" as Leo calls Alan out on that, and if there were only two ghouls in the whole dorm then by process of elimination we can say he was the Vice Captain. From what Alan says about telling Leo to back off and what Jin says about "the act" (he's wearing a monocle literally only a delinquent would think that makes him more noble looking) he seems like someone who is trying to better his place in the world through making connections. If what Alan said about people in Vagastrom having people on the outside they're trying to make things better for is true, then I wouldn't be surprised if Tohma has or had some family he wants a better life for. Alan seems to find that admirable in people which is why he doesn't want Leo poking into his business since that does not seem to be something that Satan spawn understands.

As for Dante... his name makes me think of the Divine Comedy as does his apparent brush with death. I want to save all of my thoughts about him for the information post I'm putting together, as what I think about Jin, but I'll say this much now. All of the dorm captains we see (other than Yuri) have some sort of identity crisis going on at the moment. I don't think that's a coincidence.

[lovingseventeen]

my random thought just suddenly wondering how it feels to have seventeen as your older brother 🥺 personally, i think seungcheol, jeonghan, woozi, hoshi, eisa and vernon radiates big bro energy jsjdhdhshsjs btw i love your writings 😻

svt as older brothers

a/n: this is totally independent from the members and their siblings irl/where they are in their actual sibling lineages lol

seungcheol:

✰ literally an additional guardian

✰ when you come home late he’s in the living room like “where were you” -_-

✰ little tough, but he’s also the person you trust the most

jeonghan:

✰ always always teases you

✰ but still manages to be sweet in the end

✰ if he annoys you too much he'll try to make it up to you by giving you a small gift

✰ sometimes it’s a bag of your favorite chips or maybe it’s a new pack of nice pens because he knows you like them

joshua:

✰ easy going and doesn’t really bother you

✰ also quite responsible so you can rely on him to help you with homework or general responsibilities

✰ although he will (lovingly) post a very cringe (in his opinion, cute) picture of you from your childhood for your birthday greetings

✰ i can’t believe y/n is so grown now, i might just cry 🥰✨🫶 *used ironically*

jun:

✰ unspoken understanding type of close

✰ he’s pretty responsible too but it’s disguised with how weird he is LMAO

✰ will make a controversial snack and always ask if you want some ???

✰ the best bro to watch stupid comedies with

hoshi:

✰ the kind of sibling that you'd bicker with a lot because of the tiger agenda and general small annoying instances

✰ the kind of menace in the sense that he’ll ruffle and mess up your hair or hang out in your room for no reason

✰ but he's also simultaneously your number one defender

✰ someone's interested in you? ohoho get ready to face the older brother interrogation

✰ expect to not be able to easily flirt with anyone, he's gonna ruin it

✰ “oh is this the guy you were giggling about last night-” right before you push him out of your conversation

✰ your s/o broke your heart? NOBODY give him their location

wonwoo:

✰ the perfect sibling to participate in parallel play LMAOO

✰ the two of you are in the same room doing completely different things and honestly, it’s a comfort

✰ the kind to send you a meme instead of just showing it to you on his phone even if you’re on the same couch

woozi:

✰ also a very responsible big bro

✰ i feel like he’d be the best to go to for any advice

✰ maybe more on the serious side but he’s always welcoming to you and sincerely listens

dokyeom:

✰ honestly the kind of sibling that will definitely do stupid shit with you

✰ the kind of brother you’d make a tiktok about bc he’s doing something equally funny and weird

✰ quite literally the most entertaining family member during karaoke sessions on holidays bc he has the voice of an angel but also the energy of a thousand suns when he feels like it

✰ even if you guys ever jokingly bicker i can't imagine him ever really getting mean so y'all don't really argue

mingyu:

✰ always prepares extra food for you

✰ if he gets up earlier than everyone and has to make breakfast for himself, best believe he's making more than one serving so you have something when you wake up too

minghao:

✰ still slightly babies you even if you’re grown

✰ in his mind you’re still his baby sibling and that he has to take care of you regardless of your age

✰ even as adults he might text you on a day that it’s raining and ask “did you bring an umbrella with you to work today?”

✰ puts in the effort for a chance to hang out with you when he can 🥺

seungkwan:

✰ why is arguing with him so funny LMAOAO

✰ go into his room to knock something small over and leave without saying anything and he's ready to throw hands

✰ will jokingly fight you but immediately apologize if he accidentally hits you too hard or he thinks he might’ve hurt you

✰ “what. is. your. problem- oh shit i’m sorry i didn’t mean that-”

vernon:

✰ the chillest older brother omg

✰ reliable in the sense that he'd probably accompany you in your shenanigans - literally goes with the flow

✰ you don't have someone to go with you to this late concert? sure he'll tell your parents he'll go with you

✰ “you wanna go see this band with me?” you ask, showing a poster on your phone

✰ “sure?”

✰ you need someone to drive you somewhere? yeah he can spare an hour, just text him when you need him to pick you up

dino:

✰ also another fun sibling to argue with

✰ it’s fun to tease him by saying he’s your little brother even when he literally isn’t

✰ “y/n i’m literally *insert the exact number of days he was born before you* days older than you”

[0104-vikita]

Ok so, I really wanna talk about this because.

I don't feel fully comfortable with the idea of the mask being completely fake either. I like to draw her being happy and stuff (the Christmas doodles I'll post soon have lots of happy Gangle) so of course I don't feel good thinking that all that happiness is just fake.

I like to think that the mask serves as an enhancer, working just like this: The tragedy mask makes you see everything worse than it already is, but you can still experience a sense of calm.. eventually, that's why I didn't drew her with tears at the beginning, I know the tears are probably permanent in the cannon, but in the comic I did it that way to showcase how looking at the sunset was a way to feel slightly better. Same logic with the Comedy mask but in reverse, you can feel genuine happiness. The mask gives you more energy, increases your confidence and makes - or forces - you to take everything not that serious, but if you just keep using it over and over knowing that there's something bothering you without doing anything about it, it just becomes a destructive cycle. That's how I like to think it works, but as you said, we actually don't know how it works, so don't quote me on that.

I didn't explore this in the comic but I think about the possibility of her becoming too used to just, dealing with stuff alone, like, not liking letting others help her because she doesn't trust them or just doesn't wanna be an annoyance. So yeah instead of actually dealing with what's bothering her she just relies on the mask as soon as it is fixed.

@spirit-of-a-kiger

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hello JWB! Your blog is the best!!

I recently started my 3rd rewatch of Ipkknd over the past 10 years and reading your blog alongside is so much fun! Your navigation for the blog is so meticulous. You are absolutely hilarious and reading your posts reminds me of when me and friends used to discuss the new Ipkknd episode every day on our ride to school! Good old times 🥲

I have a question for you as someone who has watched the show at different periods in her life. There are some scenes which I had a different perspective of when I was a teenage girl compared to now as woman in her 20s. For example, in my current rewatch I get so annoyed at scenes where Arnav holds Khushi hard enough to leave a mark on her arms, but when I watched the scene as a 12 year old its not something that crossed my mind as abusive (especially when they played the Oh-so-wonderful Rabba Ve over those scenes).

So are there are any scenes like that which you looked at differently over the years with age?

Hello my dear anon!

Such a brilliant question - SO MUCH HAS CHANGED with age and time.

1. Arnav and Khushi’s sangeet. I was just so happy to see them get married that I didn’t think much about it but as I grew older I just really didn’t like it. They completely wasted Akash and Payal and I never understood Mami’s over involvement in the sangeet and also… Khushi lip syncing to lyrics instead of a yes I’ll marry you and WHY IS MAMI PLAYING KHUSHI AND WHY IS AN AUNT AND NEPHEW DANCING ROMANTICALLY 😣

2. The dabba service. I actually liked it when I was younger cause the comedy made me laugh. As an adult though I’m bothered that Khushi’s decision to be financially independent does not stem from supporting her family but that she needs to return 300 rupees to Arnav? And somehow we’re supposed to think she’s highly intelligent for working at her husband’s place, through his office kitchen and that’s a … victory? Also so awkward for Arnav to publicly be demeaning of Khushi and him getting furious that she’s “insulting him” but also Khushi getting rabba ve because he enjoys her food? It’s just too regressive that anything Arnav likes about Khushi is tied to bahu duties - that is cooking great food or calling herself his wife. Also Khushi just acts so childish in general I cannot.

3. Khushi’s behavior when Arnav lost his voice. I found her irritating. She’s too childish. The fact she expects Arnav will give her a gift to thank her for having done a “great job” like WHY can this woman NOT be intelligent is beyond me. ARNAV AND KHUSHI DONE SHARE THAT RELATIONSHIP! ALSO WHY DOES SHE GO AHEAD AND SIT IN THE DRIVER’s SEAT??? IS SHE A LITERAL CHILD LIKE I NEVER DID THAT WHEN I WAS 7 MYSELF! And it’s supposed to be funny that Arnav makes her do squats in front of a police officer? That’s demeaning to a woman who’s supposed to be your wife. It’s just really not landing for me tbh.

4. Khushi as a character is very annoying post elopement because she’s reduced to a childish caricature without a hint of brain.

5. I don’t think Arnav does anything great or romantic in the 24 hours track. He has emotionally and verbally abused Khushi multiple times. The one time she tries to leave house - that too for the sake of his sister - he makes her work around for money, threatens her friends so they can’t financially assist her and then takes over her property? I don’t find this coercion romantic nor do I find it to be “ASR” style. My guy was running behind to say sorry cause he was rude to her on the day his parents died. The one day where he’s allowed to be by himself and rude because it’s a traumatic day. (I have to see Khushi’s birthday and the sexy back massage in a separate context to enjoy).

6. I’m not ok with Arnav showering gifts on Khushi after he brought her home by coercing her. I don’t like how Khushi switches into bahu mode to make Anjali happy - girl you were threatened by your husband two hours ago and you’re busy playing Mrs Raizada? - and I’ve said this before but the sudden showering of gifts felt closer to love bombing and a reward for listening to him. I know Arnav is a man of actions - a man of actions would correct his mistake. I needed somethings to be better between Arshi to enjoy this.

7. I DO NOT LIKE THEIR I LOVE YOU DAMN IT. The fact it’s preceded by a very non consensual/dubious consent suhaagraat setup and that Khushi is busy talking about rituals than actually talking about what matters is… ugh. It genuinely feels like sexual frustration and my heart felt so sad that he’s dragging her around pheras to get done with it and Khushi’s elopement was traumatic.

8. Khushi tricking Arnav to light Janmashtami diya. Arnav is an atheist, that’s just as critical as following another “religion”. Would Khushi get a Muslim man to partake in Hindu religious activities by plot? No right. Would she be appreciate being tricked into having bread and wine as that’s the flesh and blood of Christ? Nope. The fact that they show wow Khushi is amazing she brought a NON RELIGIOUS MAN to partake in a religious amazing and thus has more influence than Lavanya on Arnav grates my nerves. I’m religious, and I cannot imagine imposing it on anyone - especially not to my atheist brother.

9. This is something small but I don’t get why Khushi can’t stay over the day Anjali miscarries and when Arnav asks her to stay back. Like something majorly traumatic has happened and Khushi still has to go by what will be acceptable for Dadi? That it’s not ok for Khushi to stay over? I get it if Dadi interrupted cause she’s perfectly terrible enough to do it and Arnav then wants Khushi to leave cause he won’t be able to hear another word against Khushi and she matters more. But also this is Anjali - there’s no way Khushi is leaving the house until Anjali regains certain consciousness and stability.

These are 9 moments that I didn’t like as I grew older (I have some stuff that I didn’t like right off the bat, lol) but here are also a set of moments that I actually grew to love the older I got.

1. A lot of first half Arnav. Very well setup as an anti hero with darker shades. His opinion on marriage and relationships is actually really good and I love the scene where he calls off the arrangement for his arranged marriage cause he clearly states that this would ruin multiple lives.

2. Shyam. I thoroughly enjoy a lot of his scenes because what a villain! I love all of his “nice damad” scenes cause it perfectly establishes why none would suspect and why Payal Khushi will have a hard time telling the truth to the Raizadas cause it’s just so impossible. I also love kidnapping era Shyam cause he and Khushi have AMAZING scenes and the show remembers that Shyam is KHUSHI’s villain! He really drives the plot.

3. I really have grown to love the scene where Khushi thinks she must leave Arnav because he won’t be able to accept aarav and that’s stemming from her own orphan trauma and that when Arnav does see her leaving he’s so gentle about it. He makes her sit, addresses her concern and that Khushi just bursts into tears and hugs him and admits she doesn’t know what she is doing and I love it that Arnav cares for her and Khushi is being her most honest self. It’s so underrated and SO beautiful.

4. Heer Ranjha in a different context. Because what Arnav says is an apology and perhaps the best one in the show.

Thanks for the love,

- Jalebi

[burby2007]

I need to apologize I need to take a break for a while I might occasionally post something Eddsworld related but yeah going to take a break I'm a very mentally ill person and sometimes during a mental breakdowns I do some not great things mostly just cry and wish death upon myself and tell people that they deserve so much better than me which sadly I still agree with I generally don't understand why anybody wants to do with me but they do the main reason why I wanted to take a break because of my disappointment in the team on Eddsworld

I don't dislike them but there's certain attributes about the team that I'm not a big fan of me and one of my friends agree that Matt's kind of seems a little greedy now I know especially one of my fans / friends will disagree and you know what she has the right to feel that way I like Matt but he's kind of seeming like he's a little greedy with certain things but that's just me no one's truly perfect I'm not a big fan though so they did the Yootuz thing with tord like the man just wants to be left alone you probably what about the end part 1 and 2 honestly yeah it's kind of the same thing but when it comes to that at least it actually has some married to it because without tord it really would have been the end.

Anyways here's my opinion about the crew the animators no issue with really honestly I like no issue with 90% of the crew the only ones I have an issue with is really just I think I'll have an issue with Matt possibly to be fair I can judge him completely though we truly don't know what's going on behind the scenes and I guess diei because I texted him and he has never responded for like 2 weeks and it really bothers me even though he said he's busy a lot but at this point I just gave up sorry that he doesn't like me or something.

Also another issue I have is Beyond's kind of slowly going downhill like the comedies kind of stretched out and honestly that's all it's more commercialized and it's ever been which that I'm nutshell isn't bad but the marketing is like so forced it's kind of annoying and honestly like Tom's voice actor like makes a kind of worse because it's like it's like such a marketing voice it's kind of sad but you know he's a good voice actor so I can't hate him too much now with all these criticisms towards the crew do I hate Eddsworld no do I need to take a break from them yes it does not help the fact I am still grieving over my father in my mental health is slowly decreased ever since his passing and I worry that I'm going to say something wrong so I should probably take a break.

That doesn't mean I'm completely done with Eddsworld forever though I think I'm forever stuck to it call me edd head addict if you will but I think it's time for me to step down for a little bit I hope you all be okay and understand it it might not be a long break to be honest cuz my attention spans like a nutshell so I don't know I do know one thing I'll never talk any of the Eddsworld members ever again Miuns if they want to talk to me or something which we all know they don't want to. But yeah um its edd day soo yeah im tried so gn

I love you edward

[teaberrii]

Chapter Fourteen: Childe

Alhaitham has the looks and the smarts. He will also be the stand-in CEO for his grandfather's company for a year.

But, he's been mysteriously cursed to turn into a cat every night since his eighteenth birthday… until he meets you, an employee at his grandfather's company, who rescues him as a cat and changes him back with one kiss.

Alhaitham/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on AO3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Childe has never been so scared, confused, and frustrated.

He’d already escaped the security guard once. But he knows he’ll eventually get caught. Having no idea where he’s going, Childe races down an empty hallway, wondering what nightmare he’s living in. He’s heard of animal transformations, but don’t those only exist in fairytales and cheesy romantic comedies? They don’t happen in real life. They don’t happen out of nowhere.

“Your father got a promotion.”

Childe had stepped outside after finally answering the call from his mother. He hadn’t mentioned that he would be attending the Awards Night as it wasn’t him who won anything anyway. Even if he did, it probably wouldn’t matter.

“...And?” Childe asked.

“So, we’re moving back to Snezhnaya.”

It was because of his father's job that Childe moved away from Snezhnaya, his hometown when he was younger. His mother had always wanted to move back as it was where she grew up. So now that they were finally moving back… perhaps it would make things a little easier on him.

“Well, it looks like you got what you wanted.”

“...Won’t you come with us?” his mother asked.

“Why would I do that? My job is here.”

“You can get another one. It wouldn't be hard. Your father has connections—”

“No.”

His mother sighed. “It would be in a different industry, but you will still be writing and—”

"The answer will always be no." 

The silence was loud, a little too loud. 

“...I only want what’s best for you, Childe. I may not know much about the entertainment industry, but I know that it's extremely competitive. There are also so many things that are out of your control. Don’t you know it’s not about how good your work is but who you know?”

The last thing Childe wanted was to argue with his mother… in public.

“...I know that friend of yours won an award for what? Best screenwriter?” she continued.

Childe narrowed his eyes. “Yes, she did.”

“Do you really think it was because of her work?”

“What are you getting at?”

“She got it because of her connections. Maybe she even did something dirty behind—”

“She wouldn’t do that,” Childe snapped.

“How do you know?”

Childe clenched his fists. “I’ve known her for almost ten years.” Then, he took a sharp breath. “You can criticize me, but I won’t let you talk shit about my friends.”

“You’re still naive. When will you grow up?”

The last of his patience had finally snapped.

“That’s what I should be asking you. When will you grow out of your narrow mindset?” He sighed loudly. “You and Dad can go back to Snezhnaya. Don’t bother calling me anymore. I don’t need parents like you.”

Whatever his mother said fell on deaf ears as Childe felt a sudden sharp pain in his chest. It didn’t take him long to drop his phone and fall to his knees. What was going on? Was he having a heart attack? His breathing turned erratic, and his body was shaking. Washroom. He needed to find a washroom. Though, maybe what he really needed was a doctor.

Childe doesn't know what to do when he sees you around the corner. Should he run up to you and try to tell you what happened? Should he run away for fear of suddenly turning back… without his clothes? He will turn back. Right?

“...Childe?” you ask.

Wait a minute. How do you know it’s him? Do you know what the heck is going on?

Childe steps forward just as you crouch and extend your hand. But then Alhaitham appears, and Childe stops. You somehow know it's him, and that's crazy enough. He doesn't need Alhaitham to know about his ridiculous situation.

“...Is it really him?” Alhaitham asks.

Whoa. Hang on a minute. Does that mean what Childe thinks it means?

“He reacted when I said his name,” you say, looking at Alhaitham. Then, you turn back. “Childe, if it’s you, could you come here?”

Childe slowly walks toward you, his head low and tail between his legs.

“...Oh, my God,” you say quietly as he sits in front of you.

Alhaitham crouches down. “...This is progress.” You and Alhaitham look at each other. “I have a feeling we’re getting closer to an answer.”

You pick Childe up and say, "You'll be fine. I promise."

Then, you hear footsteps rushing toward you. “Oh, you found the cat!”

You look over your shoulder and see the security guard and Alhaitham’s secretary. As you and Alhaitham stand, he says, “We’ll handle it from here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t tell me the two of you are going to adopt it.” You instantly recognize Ayato’s voice. He comes up beside the security guard. Just past him, you see Tighnari and Thoma approaching you. Alhaitham gives him a look, and he chuckles. “I’m just joking.”

“We still haven’t found the missing man,” Alhaitham’s secretary says.

You and Alhaitham glance at each other. Then, you say, “That’s okay. He called me.”

“He did?” Tighnari asks. “How?”

“...Something happened at home,” you say. “So, he went back.”

Once Alhaitham’s secretary and the security guard leave, Ayato says, “Well, this sure was a night full of surprises, isn’t it?”

“You sound way too casual,” Thoma says.

“How did a cat get in here, though?” Tighnari says, walking up to Childe in your arms. Tighnari gently pets Childe, and you almost smile at the deadpan look on Childe’s face.

Childe turns away, and Alhaitham clears his throat. “Let me hold him,” he says.

He doesn’t wait for an answer and tries taking Childe away from you. In truth, Alhaitham doesn’t want you holding anyone but him. However, Childe sinks his claws into your arm, refusing to be away from you.

“It doesn’t seem like he wants to,” Thoma says.

“He has no choice,” Alhaitham says sternly, and he forces Childe to let go.

Childe meows loudly in protest as Alhaitham takes him away. So, in retaliation, Childe swipes at Alhaitham's face. He misses but makes a visible scratch on his expensive suit.

Alhaitham frowns at the ginger, and Childe smiles at him.

Then, Ayato looks at Childe. “What are you going to do with him?”

That's a good question. What are you going to do with Childe? You know he must be terrified and confused. 

“...Should we take him back?” you ask. Then, you lean slightly closer to Alhaitham and quietly say, “I’m a little scared to leave him alone.”

“I know the feeling.” Alhaitham looks at the group. “We’ll take him back.”

Tighnari slightly tilts his head. “But… it’s just a stray cat, isn’t it?"

Childe meows angrily, just as you say, “I, uh, I don’t think this cat will take no for an answer.”

◆◆◆

You and Alhaitham are so focused on what happened to Childe that you don't notice you leave together. By the time you arrive at the apartment, Alhaitham is still holding Childe.

“He can stay with me,” Alhaitham says. Childe meows in protest, and Alhaitham glares at him. “Or, you can go home.”

Childe looks at you.

“Alhaitham will take good care of you,” you reassure.

Oh, I doubt it, honey bunny, is what Childe would have said if he could. But, as he can't, he only meows in annoyance.

Turns out it doesn't make that much of a difference, as you end up staying at Alhaitham's place for a bit that night. Childe is on the counter, quietly judging Alhaitham's decor until Childe overhears Alhaitham talking about a curse with you in the living room.

"...Soulmates?" you ask. "I don't believe in those either, but with everything that's been going on, it wouldn't be crazy to say they exist." You look at Childe, who's sitting in front of you now. "This is scary, though. Why does it seem like it can happen to anyone? There has to be a trigger."

Alhaitham also looks at Childe. "Our next step is to find out how it happened."

Suddenly, Childe jumps in your direction, but Alhaitham catches him instead. The two frown at each other.

“Whatever issue you have, you can talk with me,” Alhaitham says. “I'm the person who knows your situation best. Not her.”

Childe meows and you can almost imagine him saying, "You just don't want her to hug me, Mr. CEO." Regardless, Childe stands on his hind legs and puts his paws on Alhaitham's collarbone as if demanding an answer to what the heck is going on. And, well, you don't blame him.

“We don’t know why this happened to you either,” you say. “We’ll explain everything when you turn back.”

Suddenly, you hear someone’s phone ring. You look at Alhaitham, who shakes his head. Well, it’s not your phone, so—

Childe jumps onto the floor and runs to his phone that's ringing on Alhaitham's coffee table. You'd got it back from Tighnari, saying you'll give it to Childe when you swing by his house later in the evening. Childe uses his paw to point to the phone, so you give it a glance and see that it's Lumine. Childe meows, and you take that as a sign to pick it up.

“Hey, Lumine.”

“Sis?” A small pause. “Why do you have Childe’s phone?”

You glance at him, and Childe shakes his head. You imagine he wants as few people to know about his… fluffy problem as possible. Or at least until he better understands what's going on.

“Do you need something?” you ask.

“Oh, um, well, it’s nothing. He just never texted me back.”

You slightly narrow your eyes. Then, you lower your voice a tad. "Is… something going on between you and Childe?" Out of the corner of your eye, you see Alhaitham pick up Childe, probably to prevent him from doing anything reckless.

"No. Of course not!" A small pause. "But, um, hypothetically… and I'm just saying, what if! So, don’t get any weird ideas!”

“What is it?” you deadpan.

“What if… something were to happen? Like… hypothetically speaking.”

Lumine… and Childe? You've never given it much thought, as Childe is like family. But that's when you were younger. People change. Relationships change. All of you are adults now, so perhaps you shouldn't be surprised that a childhood friendship might turn romantic.

“Are you asking for my opinion?” you ask.

Lumine isn’t sure what she’s really asking you about. Permission to date Childe? Eh… maybe not that far.

“Let’s talk about this later,” you say, looking away. “Can I call you back in an hour or so?”

“...Alright.”

After ending the call with Lumine, you walk toward Childe, sitting on the counter. His tail swishes side to side when you stand in front of him.

“You’re not trying something funny with my sister, are you?” you ask, narrowing your eyes.

Childe rolls onto his back with his tummy facing up. You sigh as he looks at you with wide, innocent eyes. You can already imagine his response: “Who, me? And Lulu? Well…”

You turn to Alhaitham. “I’m going to turn in for the night. Are you sure you’re okay with babysitting him?”

Childe meows in protest, but you still don't turn back. Finally, Alhaitham walks up to you and kisses your head. "Yes." If he's being honest, the real reason is that he doesn't want Childe to stay with you.

You look over your shoulder and see Childe yawning. Hopefully, he won’t give Alhaitham a difficult time.

◆◆◆

You’ve just finished a shower and sat down with a hot cup of tea when you’re back on the phone with your sister in your apartment. After briefly talking about the Awards Show, the topic finally comes to Childe.

“Do you like him?” you ask bluntly.

“You really get straight to the point, don’t you?”

“Did you want me to beat around the bush?”

“...I guess not.” Then, quietly, “But, I don’t have an answer. I mean… he’s fun. I like him, but I’m a little scared.”

“Hey,” you say softly. “You don’t have to have everything figured out. As long as he’s not toying with you and you aren’t toying with him.”

“Maybe I’m thinking too much. It’s not like anything’s happened yet.”

“Well, maybe it’s because you sense it’s going in that direction, and you want to be prepared.”

Lumine smiles slightly. “Are you a mind-reader now?”

You chuckle. “I try.” Then, in a serious tone, “But, let things happen naturally. Don't let anyone force you to do something you don't want to do."

Lumine knows. But what does she want with Childe? A relationship? Friendship? What if... things don't work out? Will that mean she would be left with nothing? At least, if they never cross the line, they can always be good friends. 

"...Doesn't he flirt with everyone, though?"

“Childe’s friendly,” you say. “But he wouldn’t treat someone he’s interested in the same as everyone else.”

“...Really?”

“He’s more cunning than you think.”

“Has he ever made a move on you? Even when we were younger?”

If he did, you’d never noticed. You’d always just brushed it off.

"Actually… don't answer that," Lumine says quietly. "I guess he would answer a text from someone he's interested in, though, right?"

“Childe’s a bit… busy right now,” you say. As much as you want to tell Lumine what happened, it will sound ridiculous. You can already imagine her telling you you’re just trying to make her feel better. Besides, Childe also doesn’t want her to know. Not now, at least. “His mother called him earlier.”

When Lumine doesn’t answer you, you say her name, and she says, “Ah, sorry. I just remembered that he asked me something strange.”

“What did he say?”

“He once asked me who I thought was more important. Myself… or family.”

You raise a brow. It's not like Childe to ask such serious, mind-provoking questions. Then, as if reading your thoughts, Lumine says, "Yeah, I thought it was weird, too... Do you think something's happening at home?"

That's definitely possible. You know he doesn't have a great relationship with his family. But you don't know how bad it is. Ever since the day he saw him cry because of a fight with his family, he kept you out of the loop, telling you not to worry about it. So that's the last time you asked him and the first and last time you saw him cry.

“Even if something happened, I doubt he’d tell us about it,” you say.

“Good point.”

◆◆◆

It’s almost dawn when Childe suddenly turns back. It just so happens that Alhaitham is awake. He comes out of the kitchen with water and stops upon seeing Childe wrapping one of his clothes around his bottom half.

“Maybe it was a good idea that I didn’t stay with her,” Childe jokes, looking at Alhaitham. “Wouldn’t want to scare her off with a body as good as this.”

“You really need to think before you speak,” Alhaitham deadpans.

As Childe grabs the rest of his clothes on the adjacent couch, he says, "You're awfully calm about all of this."

Alhaitham quietly sips his water. He knows what Childe is getting at. Are you also a cat? Perhaps he didn't say it out loud because of how ridiculous it sounds. So, to answer Childe's unspoken question, Alhaitham says, "It's a long story."

“...She knew who I was. Is that how you two got together? She found out about your secret?"

“She’s the one who turned me back," Alhaitham says, "earlier than expected, that is.”

"Did this all happen recently? When did this curse begin for you?"

"When I was eighteen. Until I met her, I couldn't turn myself back early."

“What started it?”

“I don’t know.” Then, Alhaitham looks at Childe. “That’s one of the things I want to ask you. What were you doing before you changed?”

“I was on the phone with my mom.”

“...If you don’t mind my asking, what were you talking about?”

Childe stiffens. “Is that important?”

Alhaitham doesn’t have an answer. Right now, though, it's obvious that Childe doesn't want to talk about it. Yet, Alhaitham has his answer. From Childe's reaction, that conversation was probably important. 

If Childe was really just casually talking with his mother, then his transformation would be out of the blue, something that Alhaitham refuses to believe. Perhaps it's Alhaitham's stubbornness, but he firmly believes there's a reason behind their transformations.

“...You said that she was the one who broke your curse," Childe says. "Does that mean she can change me back, too?”

Alhaitham doesn't want to believe that. If you can, that would mean Alhaitham isn't special. That would mean… you aren't his soulmate. He may not believe in them, but the idea of you and him being something like star-crossed lovers sits well with him. Anyway, that aside, haven't you and Childe known each other for a while? If you really could change him back, why would the curse randomly begin now? Unless something has changed between you and Childe.

Childe leans back. “She may be your cure, but I doubt she’s mine.” Alhaitham looks at him. “I’ve known her for almost a decade. My curse started just now. The timing’s kind of weird, don’t you think?”

Well, at least they’re on the same page.

Childe smiles at him. “Don’t worry. Mr. CEO. She’s all yours.”

“You’re taking this awfully well.”

“Were you expecting me to freak out?” Childe shrugs. “I guess you’re lucky I couldn’t talk when I was a cat then.” Then, a sigh. “So… what else do you know about this ridiculous curse?”

“I believe the trigger and cure are different for everyone,” Alhaitham says. “Let’s assume your trigger is the conversation with your mother. Mine started unknowingly. Ayato’s… with a kiss.”

Childe’s eyes widen. “Ayato?”

"The cure for your and Ayato's curse has yet to be found. But… she is, once again, the only link between all of us."

“Well, ain’t she a special one.” When Childe catches the look on Alhaitham’s face, he clears his throat. “Uh, what does she have to do with Ayato?”

Hopefully, you have nothing to do with Ayato.

“She looks like the woman who gave him the curse."

“...Well, damn. Maybe she should just be our cute, little cat lady who looks after all of us.” When Alhaitham gives him another look, Childe quickly says, “Think before you speak. Gotcha.”

Of course, Alhaitham wants to find out answers about this curse. But now he's even in more of a rush as he wants to prove you're his cute little cat lady. Not anyone else's.

Chapter Fifteen

End notes: I've been dropping little hints about the curse in recent chapters XD. Maybe you guys will figure it out before the characters do.

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @seirenspinel @lxry-chxn @sakiimeo @ash-in-lavender @ceylestia @forsh4dow @deathkat657 @kalpie @elernity @sentieence @chichibleeps @sunsethw4 @hjjks @tanspostsblog @nqctre @just-simping-over-genshin @uchihaeirin @vynbin @ayanokomu @dksfl920 @alatus1808 @itztaki @thetwinkims @imkaaayy @angeilix @starlighttotheleft @letthewindlead

[adarkrainbow]

As I have been reblogging and looking back at Sleeping Beauty stuff around the Internet, I realized the thing that is bothering me a bit... When it comes to the you know "original" format of Sleeping Beauty.

Everywhere on the Internet you have these posts and videos and whatnot about "The dark truth behind Sleeping Beauty" or "The Horrifying Origins of Sleeping Beauty!", and they all refer to the fact that in the "original" version of the tale, she got raped in her sleep. This is the "dark fact" everybody LOVES to spread around and talk about. Except... Except the version they refer to is Basile's "Sun, Moon and Thalia".

Why does that matter? I'll explain.

Everybody depicts "Sun, Moon and Thalia" as this sort of dark, horrifying tale of a grim and gruesome crime. They will have in their video a dark background, and creepy illustrations, and they will take an ominous horror movie voice and whatnot.

But there's a big problem with that. Basile's stories were all except serious. They were humoristic tales. Or more precisely, they were farcical stories. Farces. There's a reason its "twin compilation", Straparola's fairytale collection, is called "Facetious Nights". So the very idea of presenting these stories as if they were meant to be taken seriously is completely misreading the story's tone. Yes there was a rape - but if you extract this from the entire context and storytelling, you make this tale sound like something it is absolutely not.

"Sun, Moon and Thalia" is not meant to be a horror story. It was not meant to be read as "serious" story. It has nothing to do with either the Grimm or Perrault fairytales. The entirety of the "Pentamerone" is basically a folk-sex comedy. If such a thing can exist.

Every fairytale of the Pentamerone is opened by a small recap of the story announcing what it will be about - and already from the get-go the very two lines opening this recap give the humoristic nature of the tale away. "Thalia dies because of a splinter". I mean come on - the joke is obvious. A girl gets a splinter, she dies. And if this wasn't enough the rest of the sentence can be translated as following: "she is left in a room where the son of the king penetrates and makes her two children". The choice of the word "penetrate" is to highlight the pun in the original line where the prince entering Thalia's bedroom and the prince entering Thalia's body is resumed in one same verb.

For more breakdown of the jokes of the story, see below the cut:

As I said before from the get-go the "curse" is treated as a joke. You have this king that summons scholars to make his daughter's horoscope, right? And what does it say. "She is in great danger... BECAUSE OF A SPLINTER!". This is literaly the killer rabbit of the Monty Pythons.

In this story, what does the little old woman that offered the princess the spindle does, once the princess falls dead? (Because she is dead in this version, a magical death, but dead still). Does she warns everybody and cries for help as in Perrault's version? No! "She was quick to find back the stairs [from which she came in]" and she runs as fast away as she can without warning everybody, because she's not going to get into trouble because of some random girl that wanted to see how to spin.

The whole arrival of the prince is very, VERY unprincely and part of the joke. (Well it is a king here but I'm going to call him "prince" so as to not lose people). So he is hunting, right, and his hunting falcon enters the countryside building in which the king locked up his daughter's corpse. The prince wants to get back his bird, so he knocks - because he believes the house is inhabited. And since nobody answers and he REALLY wants his bird back, he fetches a ladder and is forced to climb up a window like a vulgar thief. And he is royalty, remember.

What is the prince's first interaction with the dead Thalia? Believing she is asleep, he starts talking to her. And since she doesn't answer he kind of shakes her around in trying to wake her up. And then suddenly, realizing she kind of looks good (an that she is visibly not alive anymore), he "does his little business" and promptly puts her back where he found her and leaves. Because he is, like most men in the Pentamerone a stupid horny dog without much morals that has the most sudden and bizarre bursts of sexual desire. Cause again the Pentamerone is a sex comedy.

In fact, in the story of "Sun, Moon and Thalia", the prince is MEANT to come off as quite stupid. He is stupid. First off he didn't get that Thalia was dead when he saw her. Then, as soon as he leaves the funeral-house, it is said he "forgot all about this adventure". Like literaly, he forgets all about it - and only suddenly remembers it randomly when Thalia wakes up. (The narration itself highlights the randomness of the events - the fact the prince remembers Thalia is random and for no reason, and in the same way there are two fairies that randomly appear out of nowhere to take care of the two babies and we are never explained anything about them - they even frighten poor awakened Thalia because she doesn't know who brings her magically food every day). When he sees back Thalia, he is all joyful and happy and he is like "Let's start a family! I'm a dad, woohoo!" ; and then the narration drops the bomb that nothing had foreshadowed: "Now, his wife was waiting for him back at the palace." The randomness of dropping the fact he has a wife is meant to be the joke, since we were led to believe he was a bachelor. But given the prince's tendency to forgetfulness it is very likely that he simply forgot he had a wife.

More of the prince's obvious stupidity and air-headedness. On one side how he betrays Thalia and her children's names to his wife - because he just can't stop repeating and singing their names out loud, day and night, even when eating or sleeping, due to how silly-happy he is. On the other, the reason why he is absent while his wife tortures Thalia: he got angry at a comment of hers, and because he was furious, he literaly had to go to ANOTHER LAND just to vent his anger. Literaly, he leaves his palace and moves to another of his domain just because he got pissy. And why did he get pissy? Because his wife kept ironically singing to him "Eat, because what you eat belongs to you" when she served him his "children" - and the stupid prince, unable to understand what she meant, literaly answers "Of course it belongs to me: I'm the bread-winner of the family, while you're doing nothing and bringing nothing to the house". [Which by the way, highlights the fact that in this couple, the wife is depicted as profiting off the king's wealth and power].

Speaking of the dinner around the fake "children": this meal is another sex joke. Because the two of them, the wife and husband, are "panting with desire" around the dishes, and keep singing stuff like "Oh that's good, oh that's good!" and "Come on, eat, come on eat!" making it all an erotic scene. A ridiculous, grotesque, perverse erotic scene around what one character believes to be a cannibalistic meal, while the other just very loudly appreciates good meat.

When the queen tries to have Thalia killed, Thalia tries to defend herself by the fact she didn't know of the queen's existence, and that any sexual thing that happened between her and the prince was in her sleep - which the queen of course does not believe because of how ridiculous it all seems. I mean you catch who you believe is your husband's lasting extra-marital mistress and what is her excuse? "Oh no you see, he made me my kids when I was asleep. Well kind of dead. I didn't know. No he did not wake me up. I didn't wake up either when the kids were born. I'm a really deep sleeper. And it was because of a splinter you see..." Literaly, imagine yourself in the place of the jealous queen hearing all that.

Thalia gains time on her execution by asking the permission to remove her clothes, and the queen accepts, but as a joke she accepts out of greed because she literaly wants to take back Thalia's dress and jewels for herself. And each time Thalia removes a piece of her clothes, she screams. She screams in hope of alerting the prince. But since the prince is far away, he doesn't hear until the very last scream. Meaning that Thalia literaly strips herself in front of the queen, while screaming every time she takes off a piece of clothing, to visibly no effect (which must leave the poor queen quite confused), and it is only when Thalia gets naked and pushes the final scream that the prince suddenly arrive. You can imagine Thalia going: "FINALLY! I've been screaming for hours now!" (especially when you consider how much pieces of clothing princesses wore at the time).

Literaly one of the threats the prince gives to his wife is "Get ready to go fatten up the broccolli". As a metaphor for being dead and buried underground. Tip-top manly threat. In fact the prince is here quite proficient in ridiculous poetic metaphors: when the cook reveals he saved his children, the prince says "Get ready to move out of the small kitchen of my castle to the vast kitchen of my heart."

And of course the final "moral" of the story is also part of the entire farcical joke that is this story. "People who are lucky receive good fortune, even in their sleep". You literaly have a girl who is randomly raped in her sleep and gives birth to children in her dead-sleep, and then is almost murdered by the rapist' wife... And THAT'S the moral of the story? If you take it all literaly, then you are a fool. Or at least Basile would have called you a fool.

Again, people tend to forget that when it comes to literary fairytales (but also a lot of folk-fairytales) there is a TONE that is important. It is the brothers Grimm and other collectors after them that imposed the idea that fairytales were meant to be read "seriously". A lot, LOT of fairytales were originally humoristic - even going into dark humor or sex comedy. And whenever you go by Straparola or Basile, you HAVE to look at them under the angle of a joke or humor, and search for the puns and caricatures and ridiculousness within these tales. Because these books were meant to be read as such. They are like Rabelais' Gargantua or Shakespeare's comedies. You can of course reinterpret them as "serious" tales... But it won't remove the fact the original was humoristic.