#*posts this and run away faaaar*

[fantasy-girl974]

Spoilers for Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Prosecutor's Gambit

So, I just completed part 1 of AAI2-5 (and good lord, it took me 3 hours, I didn't think it would take this long!). And during the Mind Chess with Eustace / Sebastian (protecc this poor boy omg 😭), I came across this conversation between Miles and him, and the little difference with how he calls Phoenix is interesting between french and english.

Little side notes : English name = French name Miles Edgeworth = Benjamin Hunter Eustace Winner / Sebastian Debeste = Eustache Victor

[French translation]

Hunter : Vous savez… parler de tout cela avec vous, cela m'aide aussi. Pendant un temps, je ne voulais pas faire face non plus à certaines vérités. Mais quelqu'un qui m'est cher m'a montré que je faisais erreur.

You know... Talking about all this with you, it helps me too. For a while, I didn't want to face certain truths either. But someone dear to me showed me I was mistaken.

Eustache : C'est… une belle histoire… *sniff* mais… je n'ai… personne pour m'aider… *sanglot*

It's... a beautiful story... *sniff* but... I have... no one to help me... *sob*

***** [Official English translation]

Edgeworth : Listen -- talking with you like this. It's helpful for me, too. There was a time where there were thruths I didn't want to face up to, either. But a good friend taught me the error of my ways.

Eustace : That's… nice… But I don't have… anybody like that… *sob*

*****

If (as I think) it's about Phoenix here, well this is not the first time in the french version where he talks about him so highly compare to the english version sometimes. There was another moment (during AAI2-2 iirc) where he calls him "a renowned / illustrious defense attorney" in french. HMMMM (≖_≖ )

[hypersomnia-insomniac]

TKR Men Taking Care of Their Sick Partner HCs

Characters: Hakkai, Mitsuya, Taiju

CW: None

Reader: GN w/ high fever/super sick

Part 2

Mitsuya

As much as he loves you, he will be wearing a mask and maintaining a 3 feet distance at all times. He has little sisters to take care of and a sewing club to run, getting sick is not an option.

He'll sit you on the couch swaddled in blankets with your favorite show/movie playing while he goes and cleans. Mitsuya's the type to clean so well that he'll leave things better than when he arrived.

If you're the type that has a chronic illness or get sick often, he'll make you a few sets of custom of PJs that are so comfortable you feel like you're floating on clouds.

Since he often cooks for his sisters and mom, you bet you're gonna get an easy to eat, nutritious meal that is so good you groggily propose to Mitsuya right then and there.

"I'll think about it. Get better first," he says calmly. Deep inside he's already designing your wedding outfits.

Once you're asleep, cuddling the plushy he made, Mitsuya will gently push your hair out of your face and just bask in your beauty.

"Sorry I can't cuddle with you, baby. I'll make it up to you when you're better, promise."

Hakkai

Even though the both of you have been dating for some time, Hakkai is still nervous when it's just the two of you. So, his visits will usually be with Takemichi or Yuzuha and you guys might play some games or watch some shows if you're up for it. He'll slide you some sweets or takeout you're craving as well.

If he visits by himself, however, that's different.

When he first enters your home, he's flustered. He hasn't been in your room before, especially not with just the two of you alone. But when he sees you passed out on your bed with a flushed face and heavy eyebags, he puts all his nervousness aside.

If you end up waking up a little, Hakkai will bend down beside your bed and caress your face.

"Ho- How ya feeling? Have you eaten yet?" He'll whisper, eyebrows furrowed.

You say no, and he gets straight to work. He lifts you gently from your bed and props you up on the couch. After opening the blinds just enough to let some needed light in without adding to your migraine, he'll unpack the soup he brought.

Let's be honest, no one can top Mitsuya's food, but he tried and that alone made you feel better.

Once you're done eating, he'll let you hold his hand or let you lay on his lap if you ask. Of course, Hakkai's face will be just as red as yours and trembling like a leaf. But, he loves you and you're already his partner, so he'll brave it.

Taiju

My HC for him is that he's a germaphobe, total clean freak. He hardly ever gets sick, but something about snots and boogers grosses him out. Taiju runs a tight ship, a clean ship.

He probably won't visit very often. If you're just sniffling a bit, he'll drop off food and snacks before leaving. Maybe a hug, and definitely no kiss.

If you're having a full on coughing fit and sneezing like your lungs are filled with dust, he isn't coming within 10 feet of you. Taiju will use his long limbs to keep you faaaar away from him.

Taiju is the type to call you and stare at you through a window scolding you for getting sick. You're tired of it, but you know he cares when he sends someone by with a goody bag.

It's usually Yuzuha or the cat and dog duo (Koko and Inui). Most often it contains medicine and food that he forced had someone make. If you're lucky you might even get a card!

"Get Well." It reads. You're unsure if it's heartwarming or a threat. Either way, you're happy.

Author's Note:

This is the first installment of my "Sick S/O" HC series! I'll be adding onto it as I watch the anime and read through the manga. I hope to do all the characters and eventually do a girl version, but I don't quite have a grasp on Senju's personality yet and I want to release all the girls in one post.

[hawkins-batman]

Hi! How are you?

Look, I'm writing this because I really want to educate myself. I read your posts, the one you pinned, the ones you write to, and most things because I honestly believe that Noah doesn't deserve any of the bad that is wished upon him. Idk, as a pseudo adult that I am and was here when the whole cancel culture was born (and I've seen it grow over the years) I feel like this obviously transcended. I actually think you're doing the right thing by defending Noah. I agree that if you see something bad or unfair happening and you do nothing you're responsible too. And even if we're wrong and Noah is what they say he is (which I really don't believe) no one deserves death threats and all the other nonsense he's had to read. People who say that forgot that they're not God to judge anyone and if they think they have the moral high ground to attack him like that someone needs to tell them how wrong they are to their face. I guess behind a screen we are all "brave enough to speak up" (however hypocritical I may seem saying this anonymously).

The thing is, I have friends that I don't discuss this with because I feel like I don't have all the information even though I fervently believe that Noah is the sweetest person and would never wish/support what Israel is doing to Palestine, and that's why I'm writing to you. And after this long introduction...

I read the image where he explains how the stickers thing was taken out of context (as I understand it) and I just went to watch the whole video again. I'm having a hard time finding an explanation because even though he notices very quickly what's happening and puts down the phone and stops recording/smiling, at first he does it. At first he laughs like everyone else and if it's his friends who put those kinds of stickers on their foreheads to make fun of it, it's even harder for me to feel like I can defend him. I feel very conflicted about it.

I hope you can answer me, thanks<3

I think focusing on the stickers or even his reaction to them is the wrong approach.

Getting caught up in the argument about what the stickers say was the first thing people did. When that failed, because he obviously didn’t have them himself, people go to his reaction and try to imply all kinds of crazy shit from that (that he was laughing at dead Palestinians, which is patently fucking ridiculous).

I focus on how people reacted to the video itself. Even if you think he reacted in poor taste (I don’t), the question is: does this video justify a smear campaign that has included death threats, rape threats, doxxing, homophobia (slurs, accusations he was spreading MPox on set), antisemitism (“Well, if only he wasn’t raised by Jews, he wouldn’t be like this”) and the harassment of his family to the point of forcing his mom to actively combat people in her own comments sections on her personal socials?

The answer is? Of course not.

Do not give people the concession of even talking about the stickers. That shifts the blame off of them and onto their victim. Put the behavior you’re seeing directed at Noah in the spot light and don’t let them run away from it.

If they cannot wholeheartedly denounce that behavior or, worse, think it’s justified, then there’s no need to talk about the stickers at all. They’ve got faaaar worse issues than stickers if this is the behavior they’ll justify.

And, on a related side note, Noah is famous in this fandom for being unbelievably sweet to his fans when they see him in public. Both word of mouth and videos/pictures of him meeting people out in the wild bear this out. It doesn’t surprise me that he was smiling at a waitress who recognized him and interacted with him, or even that he chuckles awkwardly along with his friends.

There was a guy a year or so back that recalled meeting Noah for the second time, and when he asked Noah if he remembered him, the guy could tell Noah didn’t, but in an effort to make him feel at ease and not awkward, Noah smiled, nodded along, and gave him a hug anyways.

That’s just how the guy is.

People are really brave for trying to make him out as some sort of villain for smiling in a video that’s being taken OF him, when I know it they had a camera trained on them 24/7, even the leftiest of lefties would be caught reacting in a manner that could be misconstrued as problematic.

And judging from the way they react when little old me calls them out on homophobia and antisemitism, I rather doubt they’d think receiving the treatment Noah has would be a fair reaction.

[calliesmau]

On the edge of my SEAT for Vicious Toxic Spit pt2, I’ve been refreshing you tumble page the entire day LMAO

Of course, this isn’t meant to push you to post. I’m just really hooked on your series, rereading through the posts whenever I have free time. It’s a really compelling AU and I really think you’re executing it very well!!

Especially the cliff hanger??? It’s the perfect ambiguity to keep my imagination running without giving too much away of what’s next to come, and it’s very much realistic!! It’s not overly exaggerated as to be completely unforgivable, yet it still delivers the perfect hurt

I really hope that this didn’t come off as me pressuring or nagging you to post, that is not at all my intention and I’m sorry if it comes off as such. I’m willing to wait however long, your work is worth the wait. And if you don’t post I completely respect that too

I appreciate whatever you post whenever you do and I wish you the best <33 hope you have an amazing day/evening!!

That is the nicest message ever, thank you!! You made my day 🥺. 

Sorry for the delay once again :(. 

I was first struggling with where I wanted this to go and how many parts I wanted to write. I enjoy writing long stories in the SMAU format but I do feel like people in general prefer shorter ones (?) (I don't know, pls tell me people). So yeah, didn’t want to drag out this one in the end. But a quick resolution would also be weird. (There is only one part left (Part 2) but normally I’ll leave it with an open ending. I might add another one though, depends on how Part 2 will be received). 

Plus, I have to fit this ‘event’ in the whole AU, so I wanted it to be quite ‘angsty’/toxic but not too much so that it is unforgivable. Also I don’t want to forget that these are soldiers, in their late 20s/30s. So it’s not always rainbows and flowers, faaaar from it. I also want to explore their toxic side/how their work can affect them in their daily lives (e.g. struggling to go shopping (too many people), to have intimacy, (to not be a little shite for Soap (kidding.)), etc). 

Thank you for the realistic comment btw! That’s what I’m aiming for. I really want to share a full, realistic and linear story, but only with texts. Kind of a slice of life thing? Very happy that it’s working! 

Good news though, it’s now half-written :)!  (Currently struggling with Gaz, but he's my favourite so that's on me eeh)

And don’t worry, you’re not coming off as pressuring or nagging me aha!! I know  it can be tricky to message authors, since we can sometimes interpret things the wrong way. But please people, send me comments, requests, thoughts or whatever. I’ll actually love that!!! 

So thank you for messaging me once again!! (and sorry for the super long reply, I like rambling)

[lenavonschweetz]

Grace For Sale

Sam Winchester x Reader

Synopsis: Your town could definitely handle themselves, but a little help isn’t something you’d willingly turn down.  When the Winchesters show up - do things get better, or worse?

Warnings: language, anti-religious sentiments, slight religious inner conflict, angst? If you squint?, smut, Under 18 keep faaaar away.

A/N: Takes place during s5:e17 - 99 Problems.  So funny story, I actually AM a preacher’s kid so this episode kinda made me laugh then gave me the idea for this.  Title comes from The Devil’s Carnival.  Also, this has been sitting in my drafts for literal years, guess it’s about time I post it. As always, I don’t have a beta so please excuse any typos. I’ll fix any that are pointed out to me.

Enjoy!

Sam and Dean aren’t exactly sure what to make of your little town.

The welcome wagon was a little more off the wall than they were used to - what with a firetruck full of holy water, a portable exorcism, and a group of civilians that actually knew about the things that go bump in the night.  Still, it wasn’t…the strangest introduction they’d encountered.

“So, are we gonna talk about that?”  Sam asks as Dean steers impala into town - right on the tail of the Sacrament Lutheran Militia’s truck.  What kind of a name was that anyway?

A church looms overhead, answering Sam’s unspoken question, and he wishes he hadn’t even asked.

It’s definitely the apocalypse, what with the devil’s trap brandishing the walkway up to the church door.

Sam’s eyes are heavy - spending the wee hours of the night fighting hellspawn will do that to you.  Especially when you’re bleeding out.  At least the militia had some quick fix first aid handy.

The first thing the brothers notice upon entering the sacred building is the couples standing at the alter, all facing the priest who prattles on about finding something special amidst the impending doom.  The second thing they notice is all of the townsfolk holding shotguns.

Sam scoffs.

“A wedding?  Seriously?”  How in God’s name - no, y’know what, scratch that - how in the Hell were they hosting a wedding at a time like this?

“Yup.  We’ve had 8 so far this week.”  The man to his right, Paul, says and it’s obvious Sam isn’t the only one who’s less than impressed.  At least they’re in good company.

It’s definitely the first time the brothers can be completely transparent in their introductions.  Sure, sometimes they’re found out, or sometimes they’re among other hunters.  But to tell an entire town - and a priest, no less - that they are demon hunters?  Yeah, that may take a little getting used to.

So is the priest toting a gun and the children packing salt rounds in the basement of the church.  Dean makes a quip about running scared or sticking around and making a home out of the place and Sam thinks he’d be leaning toward the later if the end of the world wasn’t resting on their shoulders.

But none of that explained how a whole town had taken up hunting.

Well, until the mystery prophet is introduced in the form of the “Packing Preacher’s” daughter - Leah.

Well…he’d been through stranger.

Dean makes a pass at her - right in front of her father.  The father.  Sam just rolls his eyes, gaze landing on the corner where another figure lurks.

Oh.

This one…he thinks…this one is much more his speed.

“Ah, my other daughter.”  Pastor Gideon says, holding a hand out to beckon you forward.  Sam watches as you push off the wall and approach the group.  There’s little family resemblance, he notes, but definitely isn’t complaining.  While your sister is clad in muted colors, baggy sweater, and tennis shoes - you opt for something a little form-fitting under your dark leather jacket with the combat boots to match.  You scream ‘hunter’, ‘capable’, and ‘danger’ more than anyone else in this town and he has trouble tearing his eyes off of you.  Now, you’re not complaining.  In fact, your eyes linger on Sam just as much as he does on you.  And when he realizes this, the mountain of a man becomes a flustered mess.   It brings a smirk to your face and a blush to his.  “Y/N, this is Dean and Sam Winchester.”

“So I’ve heard.”  You chuckle, arms crossing in front of the very cleavage Sam’s staring at beneath your open flannel.  You cock a brow, baiting him, though he seems too nervous with your father present to answer the challenge.  “Shame Leah never mentioned you.  Though,”  you cast an appreciative glance over their strong frames and Sam very nearly shivers.  Beside him, Dean practically preens.  “I can see why.  If I knew fine specimens such as yourself were going to be crashing in our little town, I’d keep it to myself too.”

The Father is none too amused when you wink at your sister and the two of you share a giggle.  Again, Sam notes the distinct lack of resemblance but brushes it off.

“Y/N,”  Your father says in warning, which you completely ignore and grant the taller Winchester another ravenous once over before turning on your heel.  If anyone asked, you would deny that you were overemphasizing the swing of your hips.

“If you need me,”  you tell him without so much as a glance, calling over your shoulder as you saunter up the basement stairs.  “I’ll be at Paul’s!”

—————

The next time you see the brothers, it’s at the house Leah’s vision lead you to.  Well, actually, that’s a lie.  You saw them the night before at Paul’s bar, but they seemed to be wrapped up in a very important conversation - if the concentration on their brows had anything to say about it. 

Still, that hadn’t stopped you from ordering the brothers a couple of beers.  To his credit, Paul doesn’t judge you - which is a lot more than you can say for your family as of late - and even brought the boys their drinks so that you could do the ever so clique cheers across the bar.

Sam merely nodded in his head in thanks, raised his own beer with a silent ‘cheers’, then went back over to his brother.

So you couldn’t get a better read on them that night.  That’s ok.  It gave you the perfect opportunity to ogle to your heart’s content.

They were some fine specimens, that’s for sure.  The perfect hunters.  Sharp eyes, strong statures.  Hell, Sam looked like he could take out multiple demons all on his own - I mean, come on.  Those arms!

God, you had gotten such a perfect look at them while they brooded and planned what with the way Sam’s sleeves had been rolled and pushed up to his elbows.  Had you ever found forearms as attractive as you did at that moment?  Probably not.

And that jawline?  Christ, you could cut glass on that thing.

The sideburns may have been a little much, but hell, if that was all you could pin as off, you’d take it! 

Your ogling session had been cut short by the bell tolling - another of your sister’s visions - and after arguing with your father in front of the whole church that ‘yes, I am going with them’ - your hunting group was on the doorstep of the abandoned home.  Most of the townspeople are toting guns full of salt or sprayers of holy water, all armed with the ridiculous incantation your sister had told you to use to exorcise them.

But not Sam.  No, Sam was only wielding a knife, and God did he make it look easy.  If you weren’t too busy kicking ass and getting your ass kicked, you’d be drooling over that too.

Only when the dust settles do you take the opportunity to approach the brothers.

“You really are the hunters my sister made you out to be.”  Sam’s perfect eyebrow arches at that, gaze flickering to the way your chest rises and falls with your heavy panting.

“You didn’t think we would be?”  You mirror his smirk and shrug, ignoring the way Dean is eyeing the two of you like he knows exactly what’s going on in your head.  Honestly, he probably did.  Dude seemed about as horny as you did.

 “So,” Sam pants, following the group out of the house.  You miss the way he’s eyeing your ass as you’re just steps ahead of him.  “That’s what it’s like.”  There’s no shortage of sexual innuendo in his voice and you decide to poke the bear a little more.  Whether your father was in earshot or not.

“What what’s like?”  You’re turned to him now, handing in your pockets and treading carefully backward.  He meets your hungry look with one of his own and shivers absolutely rattle your body.  Again he smirks, making sure the coast is clear of your father before saddling up right next to you.

“Having back up.”  He all but whispers in your ear, large hand grazing just inches above your bottom and god, how did he make such an innocent statement sound so filthy.  There’s no way he misses the way you tremble and sigh, not with the way he smirks at you while walking away.

You’re not sure what’s going to kill you first.  The Demons or your insatiable need for Sam fucking Winchester.

—————

Neither.

Neither of those things is gonna kill you first.

Because it’ll be your father that kills you.

Because you’re going to fucking murder your sister.

After the Winchesters brought back a murdered Dylan…well, things were tense. People started to resent them and the warm welcome they had initially received turned cold. Only you and Paul would speak to them without adding to the guilt you knew they already felt.

You knew it wasn’t their fault.  Hell, half of you had been through it before - coming off a hunt all together too cocky and not aware of the demon that still lurked around until it was too late.  Dylan was a good hunter.  Dean and Sam were good hunters.  It had happened to the best of you.  And so you do what you always did - you held a funeral and vowed to be more vigilant next time.

But that wasn’t enough for the townspeople.

Or for your sister.

No, she had to go and suck the fun out of everything.

No drinking, no gambling, no pre-marital sex.

All per the angels’ command, of course.

“What a crock of shit.”  The empty glass thunks against the wood of the bar - as hollow as you feel right about now.  Paul only echoes your sentiments and pours you another glass.  The only thing that pulls you from your ire is the bell signifying a newcomer.  For the first time since Leah’s proclamation, your scowl softens as the person you wanted to see most walks right through that door.

“So, what happened to, uh,” he makes a grand gesture to the empty bar - earning a snort from the two of you,  “’the apocalypse is good for business’?”

“Yeah, right up until Leah’s angel pals banned the good stuff.”  Paul says, earning a groan from you as you pinch the bridge of your nose at your damn sister’s name.  “Y/N’s here helping me kill some inventory.”  Sam chuckles at the glass you raise, tipping it toward him and saying ‘I’m only doing the good work.’  “Want to help?”

With a drink in hand, Paul pours a shot for each of you.  He doesn’t hold back on his opinion of the ‘holy rollers’ nor their hypocrisy, to which Sam calls him out for his noticeable lack of faith.  Paul shrugs it off, defending his honorable lack of prayer.

“Look, there’s sure as hell demons.  and maybe there is a god, I don’t know.  Fine.  But I’m not a hypocrite.  I never prayed before and I ain’t starting now.  If I go to Hell, I’m going honest.  Besides,”  Paul nods to you just as you put your shot glass - empty again - back on the bar.  “I figure if this one can get away with it, so can I.”  Sam’s eyebrows raise at that, eyes finding you.

“You either?”

“I grew up in the church,” you explain.  “I’ve seen how the…holiest of us all can be far worse than the ‘hooligans’ of the world.”  You wink at Paul, air quotes bouncing as you mimic your father’s ‘preacher’ voice.  The two of you share a laugh and you miss how Sam’s fingers tighten around his glass along with his jaw at the intimacy you two seem to share.  “Yeah, I believe in some kind of higher power.”  You continue, focus shifting to the Adonis beside you.  He doesn’t miss the bitter tone your voice takes on. “But I don’t believe in the church.  The organized religion crap.  Never been too big on it.  But then, neither had Leah.  And now, out of nowhere, she’s some chosen prophet?”  You scoff.  “I dunno.  I just can’t trust it.  And like Paul said, I’m no hypocrite.  I know I’m messed up.  Won’t pretend otherwise.”

This time when you regard Paul, patting his hand as one would a brother, Sam’s shoulders relax.

“Yeah, I, uh…I know what you mean.”  A moment of heavy, thick silence passes between the two of you before you’re pressing him for his thoughts with nothing more than a look.  “I believe.”  But he doesn’t sound so sure.  More convincing himself than he is you, maybe, so you stay quiet and let him work through his thoughts.  “Yeah, I do.”  He says, more assured this time.  “I’m just pretty sure God stopped caring a long time ago.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”  A big sigh breaks from your chest, one of those sighs that comes when you feel like you’ve forgotten how to breathe, and suddenly this conversation is too heavy for how drunk you are not and for how drunk you want to be.

After a few moments, a morbid, hindsight joke blooms in your head and you can’t help but laugh, noting the questioning look on your drinking buddies’ faces.

“Guess those newlyweds knew something we didn’t.”  You chuckle, taking a pull of your drink.  “Tied the knot before Leah could restrict ‘em.  Betcha they’re bangin’ like rabbits right about now.”  The liquor burns, smothering your humorless chuckle as you knock it back.  “Lucky bastards.”  

Behind the bar Paul chuckles, noting the tension in the air, the sudden shift of mood, and takes his exit - mumbling something about grabbing more from the back. Neither you or Sam really hear him, though - too wrapped up in the other’s stare you share at what you’re implying.  

Helluva wingman, that Paul.

Once the two of you are alone, Sam swivels in his chair until his long legs drape open and you have to force yourself not to look down.  A bushy, perfectly masculine brow arches.  Then he speaks - voice low and sweet and pure sin.

“Really?  You, uh, don’t seem to have much issue with breaking the no-drinking rule.”  And it isn’t a question.  He flicks the back of his fingers against your glass, warm eyes staring right at you as the faint tinkling tickles your ears.  Your heart shutters in time with the tinkling of skin on glass and you don’t realize you’re chewing on your bottom lip until his eyes flicker to it.  “You gonna draw the line at pre-marital sex?”

“Now, Sam Winchester...who said I would do that?”  The look you fix him with has him adjusting his suddenly too-tight pants.

“Not afraid of being damned?  Of not being one of the ‘chosen’?”

“I’m no ‘chosen’.”  You scoff, bouncing air quotes once more.  “That’s my sister.  Me?  I’m just the poor little preacher’s kid who lost her faith a long time ago.”   It isn’t seductive talk - in fact, it’s dark as hell.  But he asked, and like you’d said before - you were no liar, and you were no hypocrite.  You turn to your companion, renewed .  “But you know…there is a curfew.”

The tonal shift isn’t subtle, but that doesn’t keep the space between you from growing ever smaller, Sam’s large hand sliding up your thigh and again you must fight off the urge to shiver.  Especially when he lowers his voice once more, those big hazel eyes glancing at you from under his full, coal black lashes.

“Is that so?”  A squeeze to your thigh, and you jolt just the tiniest bit, to Sam’s great amusement.

“My place is right around the corner.”  You explain with a shrug, that damn lip caught between your teeth again. And suddenly in the dark, empty bar, you don’t care if you are damning yourself to hell.  As long as it’s at the hands of Sam Winchester, you’ll go willingly.

—————

The wall of your entryway meets your back sharply, a hiss of pain escaping you momentarily before it’s silenced by Sam’s eager lips.

Hurried hands rid you of your clothes, his own falling like breadcrumbs alongside yours until the two of you are falling on to the bed.  Fingers skilled at far more than knife-wielding ghost up your thighs, featherlight touches leaving a fire under your skin.  He’s slow in his undoing of you.  Reverent even.  Watches the way you keen beneath him, begging for his fingers.  Holds your eyes as he drags those fingers through his lips before trailing the wet tips down your front. When he finally gives them to you, one long digit sliding right up to the knuckle, your teeth break the skin of your lip just enough to hurt and you’re gasping - begging for more - which he gives to you, gladly. Working you until you’re ready for him and at the precipice of falling over the edge.

He had looked good in his clothes, sure, but god damn he’s ten times more beautiful out of them.  Infinite smooth, golden skin lays beneath your greedy fingers, a dusting of fine hair contouring the plane of his chest and down below his waistband.  Your mouth waters and you tug impatiently at his jeans.

“Someone’s eager.”  He chuckles, low and husky, standing to drop both pants and boxers.  Oh.  Good God.

“Oh, you have no idea.”  You only break your eyes away to grab a condom before you shove him on his back and straddle those strong thighs.  "I've been wanting to get your clothes off since the second I laid eyes on you."

"Trust me," he breathes - no, borderline growls - and you shutter, walls fluttering at how fucking empty you are and just how fucking bad you need him inside of you right now.  "The feeling's mutual."

He’s big all over, just like you expected, and even rolling the latex over his thick shaft has you shivering in anticipation.  The action doesn’t go unnoticed by the gigantic man beneath you and before you can react, he’s rolling his hips with a moan that takes your breath away.  It takes immense focus to speak through your gasp.

“Don’t finish this before it’s even started, Winchester.”  He laughs at your warning, fingers digging into your thighs and ass.  Oh, this man is going to wreck you, you just know it.

“You have so little faith in me?”  A quip lies on your tongue, something about having no faith at all, but that melts into a strangled moan the second his fat head presses past your opening.  “Oh, Christ.”  He hisses, teeth clenched and head thrown back in unadulterated pleasure at the feel of you, your hips rolling slowly as you try your best to take the overwhelming size of him.  Your fingers digging into supple pecs does nothing to ebb the overwhelming feeling of Sam spearing you open.

“Leave him outta this.”  You quip, sinking down the rest of the way - finally.  You both shiver at the feeling of him fully seated in you before you start rocking against him.

Not much else is said - not much else needed to be said - as the two of you chase relief and distraction in each other.

The stretch burns in the best way and you realize you're going to be feeling this for days.  Every step, every shift is going to take you right back here - your hands splayed out on sculpted pecs, Sam's angelic and angular face contorted in ecstasy as he does his best to keep his eyes open and watch you ride him for everything he's worth.  Those big hazel eyes blink up at you, fluttering and rolling at a particularly deep stroke before they're suddenly open - fiery and determined.  There's no time to even tease or question before he's pistoning up into you, his marble body rubbing yours in such a way that has you gasping for air, his massive hands splayed over your ass to keep you exactly where he wants you. Sloppy thrusts turn to rocking hips and the new angle has your toes curling.

His cock grazes just the right spot with every rock of his hips, both of you whispering moans and groans of the other’s name.  You do your best to keep up, rolling your tired hips when you can, nails biting into his skin when you have to focus solely on not imploding right where you are.

Your orgasm crests, and you beg him to go faster - to take control - and he does, practically throwing you onto your back to angle you the exact way he wants to.  The height difference is dizzying - even with you on your back and him on his haunches - all you can see while he hammers into you is the brand on his chest.  You itch to bite into the ink, to make him mewl against your skin once more but all rational thought flies out the window when his thumb reaches between your splayed legs, presses in tight, dizzying circles, and sends you spiraling into oblivion as aftershock after aftershock rocks your nerves.

In the aftermath of it all - after you’ve seen white from the intense pleasure he milked out of you - you lie in a daze.  Memorizing the way his hands feel as he wipes some of his spend off your chest.  Jesus, the sounds that man had made when he came...you have half a mind to tie him down and never let him leave - your sister's 'orders' be damned.

“It’s past curfew, y'know?”  You remind him, fingers tracing the divots and curves of his abdomen.  God, he’s perfect.  You could spend hours memorizing every inch of skin.   Pity said skin disappears behind thick flannel once more.  You bite back a disappointed groan, casting your eyes over his massive stature.  You don't think you'll ever get over just how small he makes you feel - in the best possible way, of course.  Especially when he flashes that perfect fucking smile at you, dimples and all.

“Yeah?  What about it?”  He urges, a shit-eating grin playing at his lips as he dares you to ask him to stay.  You sit up on your knees then, leveling yourself with his chest and drag your fingers down once more.  "Something you want to say, Y/N?"  If possible, his grin grows wider when you crook an eyebrow at him, beckoning him to your level with a come hither finger to match.

“If you’re waiting for me to ask you to stay, Sam Winchester,"  you whisper, lips ghosting over his own and you take great pride in the way his sinfully long lashes flutter against the tops of his sharp cheeks.   "You can keep waiting.”  The low groan that escapes his throat when you cup him once more makes you ache in the absolute best way.  You're seconds away from throwing your pride to the wind and pulling him back into bed with you.  But this is the end of the world after all.  No doubt he has other pressing matters to attend to.

“Yeah, well, as much as I would love to…I should get back before Dean gets worried.”  Disappointment laces his words, but you’re both too grown-up for any fairytale crap.  Your life felt like more a horror lately than a fantasy, anyway.  So, with incredibly gentle fingers, he pulls your hand toward his lips, grazing them over your knuckles as his eyes bore into yours.  Hmm, he plays dirty.

“Yeah…my dad’s probably expecting me at the church.”  You offer lamely, though there's probably some truth to it.  Not one night goes by without a demon attack or a vision from the chosen sister.  You're surprised you haven't been interrupted by a frantic call from your father already, as a matter a fact.  He smiles at you again, your heart running rampant as he's tossing the towel down to wrap his arms around your waist once more.  The look in his eyes and the hardness pressing into your belly are tempting enough, but you manage to grit out a warning "Sam..."

“And here you are, sinning with the outsider.”  He rumbles, smirking as his eyes drink in your face for - most likely - the last time.  You return his smile, reeling him in for one last kiss...or twelve.

“Yeah, well, if I’m going to hell anyway, may as well make the road there fun.”

If only you knew the literal hell that awaited you in the next few hours…

FIN

[ravn-87]

If you're snooping around social media looking to judge others, do me a favor

GROW UP.

If you're on social media in the first place, you should be running into far more informative social activism no matter where you're at to be talking like this. And if you haven't, you're far too misinformed and closed-minded to have any right judging and looking down on others who's lives and beings you know nothing about in the first place. Teenagers and kids that don't know jack about insight and compassion and understanding do that.

So do narrow-minded, set-in-their-ways, miserable, suppressed, middle-aged conservatives who barely know how to use social media and need to bully to find self-validation.

Whichever one you are - stop. Just stop.

Trouncing on another's happiness, freedom, self-awareness, and identity....calling them immature, calling their identity an act, telling them to grow up for just being a person,(gee, that sounds a lot like ...what's that phobia again? Oh right - homophobia.) not bothering to read their posts and realizing what suffering they have to live with on a day to day basis, acting like social media and adulthood police makes you a pretty big jerk for walking up unsolicited to judge a highly insightful and intelligent, well-respected disabled person minding their own business and finding happiness and internal peace the best way they can, just like all of us, and who here shows themself a far greater person than you are showing yourself to be.

Good job I hope you're proud of yourself.

You showed yourself a shining beacon of petty 🤬🤬 on this one.

I agree with our friend here.

Stop making stomping on others the only source of your joy and go find a real source

Faaaar away from us.

------------

Thou shalt not judge others.

Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.

Love others as you love yourself.

Spiritual pride is the worst sin.

No one is greater than their brother.

Live and help live, love and help love.

If you were really born in 1979, you’re far too old to be calling yourself this bullshit, “Panromantic Demisexual. Nonbinary Femme Demigirl. Fae Cryptid”. Sad to see adults acting like the worst type of teenager.

*turns to my mutuals* And here we see someone who doesn't want me to have fun. Sad anon, you probably need a hug. And a clown nose. It makes a honk noise, isn't that silly?

Seriously, where do you come from? You're in your 20s, aren't you? You should be doing fun adolescent stuff. You're sniping at a middle aged cripple on Tumblr for finding joy in being. Please go find your joy. Somewhere far away from me.

[moonprincess92]

Rebelcaptain fic: A bad idea

“Ok, this is bloody ridiculous,” Jyn finished her drink, before slamming it down onto the coffee table in front of them. “Let’s just have sex.”

Cassian choked on his beer. 

IE: the friends with benefits fic we all need (wc: 11631) Read on AO3 

“This is so stupid!” Jyn exclaimed, throwing up her hands in indignation. “The police are literally still after them and they think that this is a good time to fuck?”

“It’s for the aesthetic,” Cassian deadpanned, before smirking a little. “It’s a blockbuster spy movie, Jyn. I wouldn’t think about it too hard.”  

She snorted, taking a gulp of the beer that each of them were working on as they watched together. Slumped down on the battered sofa that Jyn had initially bought in a second-hand furniture shop for 10 quid, her legs were stretched out over Cassian’s lap, his non-beer arm resting over them. Naturally, on screen the moderately-famous actors were descending into sensual jump cuts with less and less clothes, breathy kisses and dramatic music.

“Did the lighting department go on strike when they shot this scene?” Jyn muttered. Cassian laughed and hushed her in response, leaning over to hit her shoulder.

She had to suppose, though, that for all its dramatics, it actually wasn’t a badly shot scene. You know, in comparison. She titled her head slightly, eyebrows furrowing as the actors rolled on the hotel bed, the two moaning and kissing and exchanging equally blissful looks at what was clearly supposed to be the moment of penetration.

Oh, blimey. 

Look, maaaaybe it was the late hour. Maybe it was the beer. Hell, maybe it was the fact that Jyn hadn’t had sex for an utterly abysmal amount of time, but for whatever reason … she found herself kind of getting into it. She glanced at her flatmate, before hastily turning her attention back to the screen. There weren’t any porn-level screams or impossible positions, just shadowy movements and the occasional naked arse, but the music was swelling to emphasise their deep emotional connection and yes, she was getting sort of turned on. Her skin under Cassian’s hand suddenly felt uncomfortable and simultaneously like it was on fire. For several minutes she forced herself not to squirm at the familiar ache, especially when the scene finally came to its dramatic climax (so to speak).

… but that was when she felt the unmistakable bulge under her calf.

She snatched her legs away quickly, exchanging slightly mortified looks with Cassian next to her. He took a rather large gulp of his drink.

“Shit, sorry,” he winced. 

“Eh, we’re flatmates,” Jyn just shrugged into her beer. “I’ve seen you in your underwear before, there’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Somehow, they went back to silence. As police sirens interrupted the post-coital bliss on screen and the movie progressed into yet another frantic chase scene, Jyn sighed in frustration. She watched with a kind of blankness that was the best one could ever achieve when ridiculously turned on with no immediate outlet. Even worse, Cassian was clearly a ball of tension next to her and though neither of them said anything, the heat had to be coming off them both in waves. Her skin was crawling, but leaving the room would only make it even more obvious about what she wanted to do. 

Wait, what were the people on screen even saying?

“Ok, this is bloody ridiculous,” Jyn finished her drink, before slamming it down onto the coffee table in front of them. “Let’s just have sex.”

Cassian choked on his beer.

“I’m – I’m s-sorry?” he coughed.

“We clearly both want it!” Jyn pointed out. “We’d be doing a favour, helping each other out, so to speak.”

“How much beer have you had?”

Maybe she had been hitting it too hard. Either that or she was suffering from temporary insanity, because what else would explain her sudden need to fuck her otherwise completely platonic flatmate? She noticed a red tinge creeping up his face and oh god, what had she just done?! This was the kind of nightmare that she was about to start awkwardly laughing through any second now. Quick, just blame the movie because Jesus Christ, Jyn, you really have fucked up this time! When you found a mate who was willing to let you back in the building at two in the morning when you forgot your keys, would cook you life-saving Mexican food during quarter-life crisis’s, and would even drag you home from the club on their back, it was just a RULE: you kept your goddamn genitals faaaar away from each other.

She was a terrible person.

“I – I’m sorry,” she cringed. “God, I know it’s insane of me to even suggest–”

He suddenly lunged across the sofa.

He crushed his lips to hers, and her brain short-circuited entirely. Holy shitballs. She let out a kind of strangled gasp as heat engulfed her. She didn’t know where the hell this was coming from but then again, she didn’t know where her earlier bout of insanity had come from either (now that she was thinking about it, perhaps there was something in the beer after all?). The movie carried on behind them, neither knowing nor caring about what was happening anymore as she clutched at his shirt, his fingers having snarled in her ratty hair. She didn’t know whether she wanted to climb into his lap or have him pin her to the sofa – both had their appeals – but before she could make a decision, he was pulling back.

“I’m – I’m good for us to help each other out if you are?” She shivered at his breath against her throat.

“Oh, I’m good,” she answered.

In the end, he made the decision for her. She was pushed back into the sofa cushions, a leg between hers and his tongue drawing out sounds that quite honestly she hadn't known she could still make. She groaned into his mouth as he bunched up her jumper and t-shirt, his hands painfully freezing against her belly. Somewhere, her brain kept yelling, Jyn. JYN, WHAT THE FUCK. This is Cassian!  Cassian was taking off her shirt, Cassian was running his hands over her breasts, this was the same Cassian that she’d first met five years ago when he’d answered her ‘flatmate-wanted’ ad and had accidentally thought Bodhi was her boyfriend … CASSIAN! They were mates, they weren’t supposed to kiss each other like this or stroke each other like that, but ohhhhhh, her brain had clouded over.

Hello, impending orgasm.

In comparison to the on screen couple, theirs was no beautiful love scene. He nearly fell off the sofa trying to get his jeans off. She’d definitely not worn the right kind of underwear this morning. She was definitely cringing at the face she made when he pushed into her, but then oh god, oh god, he was moving and it took roughly 3 more seconds to not give a shit. Her fingers clutched at the skin of his back, legs hitched around him. Outside their tiny flat, all she could hear was the abysmal London rain still pouring, the dwindling day growing darker by the second.

It might’ve been romantic if the TV hadn’t still been booming with explosions and gunshots in the background.

By the time she was lying out of breath and thoroughly sated underneath him, the movie had apparently wound down to its final credits. One arm was splayed out over the edge of the sofa, but the other still rested against his back, Cassian’s face hidden in her neck. A part of her really, really wanted to panic right about then, but that was when he looked up and met her eye. He started grinning … and that was it. She fucking lost it.

They both burst into utter hysterics.

They laughed together until their sides were sore and tears were in their eyes. Jyn covered her face with her hands, moaning into them,

“Oh god. Goooood, Cassian!”

“Trust me, I know.”

“OK. Ok … well,” she grinned, trying to get herself back under control. “Thanks for, erm … doing me a favour.”

“Likewise.”

“I will never mention this again if you don’t?”

“Agreed,” Cassian nodded.

Eventually, they got their sniggers and breathing back down to normal levels. Unfortunately, when it died down it kind of morphed into a very awkward pause. Not that she had a problem with him still being on top of her – the weight was something she’d forgotten, something that for some reason right now was comforting, rather than crushing – but honestly Jyn couldn't remember the last time she’d been fucked quite like that. It was very possible that she’d lost all feeling in her body.

“Sorry,” she mentioned. “but are you planning on moving at all? Because I think my arse is going numb …”

“About that,” Cassian admitted. “I’ve realised that I don’t really know how to without it being weird. Like … could you not look or something …?”

Jyn kind of wanted to yell at him we are completely naked! but she got it. They would somehow have to get up while still flushed, sweaty and in a state of undress that was somehow altogether different from the few times that they had accidentally stumbled into the bathroom while the other was in the shower. But this was Cassian. If he could help her study through failed years of university, if she could make dinner every second night without burning something and if they could still be friends even after that time she had thrown up on his shoes after a night out, then they could suck it up and do this.

She tried not to smile too much as they eventually pulled their clothes back on.

Jyn  Help me  I’m going to die  

Ya, but I’m assuming u mean ur gonna die sooner than u thought, right?

Kay wont stop playing disco music  His desk is right next to mine It’s been going on 4 hrs now 

That’s what u get for making friends with a robot lol

What do I get for making friends with you?

Resting bitch face and the occasional shitty coffee made for free [crying/laughing emojis] 

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times – QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB

Lol like that’s gonna happen

You literally hate it

We live in LONDON, I can’t afford to quit  

You could go back to uni

If I can’t afford to quit a shitty waitressing job, I certainly can’t afford to go back to uni, wtf is wrong with u [picture of a generic white person looking sad with outturned pockets] 

Would u please stop sending me memes Seriously

Sorry, it’s the only way I know how to show affection

My life was never the same after I met u 

…

Ok look, I just need to make sure bc im going a little crazy over it, but … we’re ok, right?

Why the hell wouldn’t we be ok?

COME ON Can u not be jyn for just 5 seconds or something please The other day   

Oh right I thought u were talking about some other time we had sex Sorry Yeah cassian, we’re ok Don’t think the sofa is, but we are  

Lmao Like I know we agreed to not talk about it but… 

No, it’s fine. We’re fine Let’s just go out and get hammered tonight ok? I could certainly do with it after my day 

[grin emoji] Ok I’ll buy the beer When do you finish your shift?

 “There’s my favourite girl!” Han yelled at her once she’d walked through the door. “Be a dear and help a man out?”

“Fuck off, mate!” Jyn called back, snatching a packet of salt from a nearby table and lobbing it at his head.

The pub owner laughed, ducking the projectile easily. She didn’t care if no one else was here yet, she would get started without them if that was the case. Han would totally look out for her. The man was admittedly an arsehole at best, but when you’d seen each other naked before, one did tend to let bygones be bygones. Besides, they’d only slept together a handful of times before he’d gone and met the love of his life, and that had been that had been the end of it, really.

… not that Leia Organa actually wanted anything to do with Han Solo, but the gesture of not sleeping with anyone else had been rather thoughtful, in Jyn’s opinion.

“Rough day?” he asked her as she dropped unceremoniously onto a stool at the bar.

“If you ID me on purpose again, I’m going to kill you.”

“So it was that bad,” Han slammed a glass in front of her. “Would you like OJ with your vodka?”

“Maybe a splash.”

It didn’t take long for the pub to start blurring, despite the fact that she was sitting still. Alcohol always made her a little giddy, a little too prone to oversharing, and it was around drink number four when Jyn was waving off his inquiries to whether she was ok once more. “Noooo, no, no, no, it wasn’t that bad, I swear!” she insisted. “Just my boss is a prick, insane customers, that kindaaa thing.”

“Sweetheart, I’ve always told you to just come work for me,” Han rolled his eyes.

“And work nights? Spend my time getting hit on by students wearing Primarmi? You’re full of wonderful ideas!” Jyn snorted. “And you wonder why Leia won’t even give you the time of day.”

“I’m working on it!” he said, hotly.

“Maybe if you didn’t act like such a wanker around her.”

“Gee, it’s a wonder you’re still single. When was the last time you even had sex, Jyn?” Han rolled his eyes, letting the glass scrape across the bar as he took it away from her. She whined as he peered at said glass in amusement. “This has to be a record,” he added. “I’m cutting you off and PC Plod's not even here yet.”

“I love that you call 'im that, the Brits have been influencin' you,” Jyn teased.

“Never,” Han drawled.

“But shhhhhh,” Jyn suddenly flung herself over the bar to grab at Han’s shirt sleeve. Had it been even one drink ago, she honestly would have recognised what a Terrible Idea it was to mention literally anything! But she was currently at four-drinks Jyn, and four-drinks Jyn was prone to recklessness and damning all the consequences. “I have to tell someone,” she focused very seriously on his face. “You can’t – don’t tell anyone this, especially not Bodhi – but I might’ve slept with PC Plod, ok?”

Han stared at her a moment.

“… boy, Enid Blyton did not see that one coming.”

“It’s crazy, right? It’s crazy!” Jyn flung up her hands, nearly knocking the last of her confiscated drink out of Han’s hands. She dropped back onto her bar stool heavily. “We didn’t mean for it to happen, it sort of just … did. But fuck, it was good. Oh shit, I think I kind of want to do it again, but he’s my bloody roommate, like tell me this is a bad idea, Han!”

“… it’s a bad idea.”

“See! Thank you,” Jyn kissed her hand, before slapping Han’s face with it lightly. “Now tell that to my vagina.”

“You’re a delight. More vodka? Oh also, you might wanna warn the vaj,” Han nodded somewhere over her shoulder. “he just walked in.”

Jyn nearly fell off her stool. Luckily, Cassian was close enough to leap forward the last few feet and catch her elbow before she could face plant. “I see you started without us,” he smirked. “Bodhi and Luke not here yet?”

She shook her head. “No Kay, either?”

“I killed him four and a half hours into my shift.”

Jyn laughed. “Catch any bastards today?”

“Responded to a few calls, nothing major,” he shrugged.

Jyn watched, her head planted firmly in her hands, elbows on the bar top, as Cassian settled onto the stool next to her. It was bloody insane. She would have to be blind drunk to even suggest it, which is what worried her in the first place, but the fact remained that despite her shitty job, despite her abandonment issues, debilitating student loan and general lack of self-worth, she was … kind of happy. She almost hadn’t recognised it. She had gotten so used to the pressure clogging her throat that the sudden disappearance of it the last few days had been something almost of a shock. She attempted to listen as Cassian and Han made small talk. Admittedly, Cassian hadn’t ever exactly gotten along with Han Solo (probably something to do with that the first time they’d ever met was when Han had spent the night and they’d both awkwardly tried to use the bathroom at the same time). But these days they could thankfully chat a lot more civilly, and Jyn might have listened except that practically all sounds had been muted.

She shouldn’t even be considering it. It was the worst idea she’d ever had (and she’d made some pretty bad decisions over the last 25 years of her life). But she kept replaying the sofa over and over, thinking that if that was the first time, imagine how good they could get if they did it a second, third or even a fourth time.

It was just sex.

It didn’t have to be complicated, right?

Hey, where tf are you? Bodhi and Luke are making out again I need help  

Tpiltts Tiolets TOILETS I’ve gone to the loo Wanna gte outta here?

Lmao, ok stay put I’m coming to get u

No no no noononnooo Cass I mean do u wanba GET OUTTA HERE Get off Go back 2 my pl Well our plce HAVE SES SXE Adfssj U know what I mean 

I’m here I know what u mean

He slammed her up against their front door. His lips were hot as they moved to her neck, sucking the spot behind her ear that he had apparently learned about last time. His fingers tugged on her hair, keeping her right where he wanted her as her hands traversed his sides. They slid against his skin under his shirt, down, down, and thank god that, ok, at least this time they could actually blamed it on the alcohol.

“You’re laughing,” he complained against her neck.

“Your beard tickles,” she sniggered.

“You didn’t complain last time.”

“Cassian, this isn’t me complaining,” Jyn pointed out. “Trust me, you’d KNOW if I was – ohhh god,” she suddenly groaned as his teeth lightly grazed at her collar bone. “St – stay there – yeah, there–”

He seemed only too happy to oblige her for the moment. For several minutes, there was silence down their corridor, save only for their breathing and frantic fumbling for either one’s set of keys. By the time they managed to stumble inside, slamming the door behind them, she had already gotten his jacket off and shirt open, and there were the beginnings of a bruising mark decorating her neck.

Jyn could barely think over the buzzing in her head. The flat swirled around them, her heart thrumming. His chest was hard under her hands and she kissed him sloppily, deeply, whimpering when he bent down and grabbed her thighs. Legs around his waist, he hastily traversed through the otherwise dark and empty flat. It took her a moment to notice that it was her bed they were drunkenly stumbling into, but it made sense.

Hers was the closest to the front door, after all.  

He engulfed her, pressing her back into the mattress. It was a gasping, fumbling rhythm, hindered by incoordination and desperation, but what they lacked in finesse they certainly made up for in enthusiasm. Finally, they made each other fall over the edge, her toes digging into the sheets and stars exploding somewhere behind her eyes. 

Cassian’s head fell onto her shoulder. Jyn felt her chest meet his with every breath, their skin sticking together. It left her itching and kind of wanting more, but shit they were such a mess. She needed to move, but Jyn was also aware that her drunk, sated arse was definitely not going anywhere anytime soon. She wasn’t quite sure where he went, but his body was suddenly being replaced with her duvet and the softness did her in. She was out cold within seconds.

She woke in the morning – like usual – regretting all her life decisions up until that point. She protested as the light hit her eyes through the windows, but thankfully, Cassian was suddenly there with tea in front of her.

“Oh … bless you,” she moaned, half-heartedly dragging herself upright so that she could accept it. Cassian had always proudly held onto his love of coffee, despite having lived outside of Mexico for apparently nearly 10 years now, yet he still took the time to make her tea. She glanced up at him in his underwear and looking barely any better than she no doubt did. She might’ve given a shit about the fact that she was still practically naked as well, but considering the things that they’d done, it seemed a little late for that.

“I found your phone,” he mentioned, tossing the device over to her.  

“Thanks,” Jyn said, flicking quickly through the notifications. Nothing major, just a few unflattering photos from last night to immediately un-tag herself from and threaten Kay into soon deleting. She dropped her phone next to her, trying to keep her eyes on her tea instead of the bare chest that was still standing in front of her. She didn’t quite know where he’d gone last night. Her bed didn’t look slept in apart from herself, but it had never bothered them before to share when the situation had called for it. Was it bad form to ask? Oh, this was making her head hurt more.

Thankfully, before she could truly work herself up into a good Panic, he clambered over her legs and settled down next to her. She smiled a little, handing him his coffee without him needing to even ask.

“So I know we said we wouldn’t talk about it …” he warbled.

“Yeah,” Jyn wrinkled her nose. “Look, last night was all me, I am so sorry–”

“Did you like it?”

Jyn shot him a look from over her mug. “I mean … yeah, yes, I liked it.”

“Then don’t be sorry. I liked it, too.”

They were both grinning now. However, frustration over the whole situation won out and she fisted a hand into her hair. “UGH, why does this have to be so complicated?” she complained. “Like, we’ve got something here! It feels good, we both like it, but this is the worst idea imaginable–”

“Is it really?” Cassian said into his coffee casually.

Jyn turned and punched his arm. “Trust me when I say you don’t want to fall in love with me, mate.”

Cassian snorted. “Oh, I remember what happened to your last boyfriend. I know.”

“You make it sound like I killed him,” Jyn whined.

“Didn’t you text me at 2am once to ask how often the police pulled out bodies from the Thames?”

“Arsehole, that was purely theoretical,” Jyn insisted.

“How is Scott, these days?”

“Dunno, haven’t heard from him since we broke up,” Jyn said.  

He pinched her arm a little. “Look,” he said. “this honestly doesn’t have to be as complicated as we’re thinking. You don’t want a relationship and I really don’t have the time. But as it turns out, we have pretty great sex for two people who are just friends, soooo …”

“Ok, I’m going to stop you RIGHT THERE,” Jyn pointed out. “because I know exactly where this is going and for the record, it won’t work. I’ve seen the movie! Not the one with Ashton Kutcher, the other one.”

“Oh, with Mila Kunis?”

“That’s it!” Jyn nodded. “If we start regularly sleeping together, I know exactly how it’s going to go! We’ll try and keep it casual, friends with benefits or whatever, but soon we’ll start to get in over our heads. One or both of us will catch feelings that neither of us are prepared to handle, and it will all eventually end with it blowing up in our faces and one of us being forced to move out! We can’t risk it.”

Cassian sighed. “Ah, shit. You’re right.”

“I know. Damn it,” Jyn grumbled. “but what if … nah, forget it.”

“What?”

“No, don’t listen to me!” she said. “Hell, I’m probably still a little drunk, I definitely don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Jyn.”

He always knew how to get stuff out of her. Maybe it was the whole cop thing, maybe it was just a Cassian thing. But just like the time he’d managed to get her talking when she’d finally broken down and admitted that she was quitting uni, his eyes bored into her until she found herself blurting out,

“Ok, but WHAT IF … we agree to do this,” She ignored the slight thrill at the thought. “but only until one of us starts developing feelings. When that happens, we stop.”

He considered.

“Deal.”

“Wait,” Jyn practically spluttered on her tea. “Just like that?!”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “Those rules seem pretty clear. We get to sleep together until the first sign of emotions, then we stop. Our friendship remains intact, and we get amazing sex out of it, what’s the down side?”

“I’m serious,” Jyn warned. “I can’t … I love you like I’d love any flatmate, Cassian, but I really can’t do another relationship.”

“I get it,” Cassian answered. “Open and honest, and this will work!”

Jyn couldn’t believe she was agreeing to this.

“Open and honest.”

“So we’ve agreed?”

“I … think we have.”

Cassian reached out and squeezed her knee through the duvet. “Cool.” 

You want pizza for dinner?

Are you literally texting me from your room? Seriously?

I’m lazy Do u want pizza? 

Pizza’s good with me

Brill Also do u want a bj im kinda feeling it 

Pizza and a blow job? What did I do to deserve you?

[Picture of Barney Stinson with the text ‘I’m awesome’]

Again with the memes

If she’d known all along that this is what it would feel like to have Cassian Andor inside her on a regular basis, she might’ve done this years ago.

Yeah, she’d always kind of assumed that he’d be an excellent lay. It was hard not to when their bedrooms shared a wall and they had spent the last five years that they’d lived together teasing each other through it. He would blast out mood-killing songs whenever she brought someone over, and she would always smack the wall back in response and yell out, “Oh yes!” dramatically, that kind of thing. But Jyn had always kind of thought that he was just showing off the rare times he’d brought someone home. That she was just overestimating his abilities, talking it up in her head … except it turned out that he had a wicked tongue that could send a thrill through her in a heartbeat, and well.

“Ok, so let me recap–” She gasped into his mouth, having pressed him up against the hallway wall. “Don’t like being tickled, yes to doing it rough–?”

“Open, I said I was open to it,” Cassian reiterated, reaching down to grope her arse. “I mean – if you–?”

“Oh, I’m definitely into it,” Her kisses were open-mouthed, hungry; she wanted to leave marks this time. “Like – don’t crack my skull open or something – but you know–” 

“Ok,” He raised a hand to cup the back of her head. Before she could catch her breath he suddenly moved, turning and slamming her up against the wall a little. He smothered her yelp with his mouth, hand sliding down out of her hair to rest against the side of her neck. Jyn clawed at his shoulders and he lifted her.

“This ok?” he murmured.

She smirked into his kiss. “Very ok.”

“How was your day?”

“I got yelled at for forgetting to use soymilk,” Jyn mentioned casually. “You?”

“I arrested someone for punching Kay in the face,” Cassian answered. “We were responding to a 999 call, he was fleeing the scene, honestly, what else would you expect? But Kay got there first, and you know what he's like when–” 

“Wait, wait, hang on–” Jyn had to stop him mid-sentence, clamping her thighs tight around his hips, halting their movements entirely. “I’m sorry, but you have to change the subject. Talking about Kay REALLY doesn't do it for me.” 

Cassian snorted with laughter into her neck and she shook her head in amusement. She at least got an eyeful of his sweaty chest as he leaned and rested his head back against the sofa with a thump. His arms remained slung around her, but no matter how into this Jyn had been minutes ago, she now couldn’t get the irritating face of Cassian’s damn work partner out of her head.

“I’m sorry,” he said, weakly. “Did you want to stop?” 

“The fuck are we stopping,” She rolled her eyes. “Just, I dunno, talk about something hot instead.”

“Jyn–” Cassian looked like he had choked a little. “You’re my best friend, I can’t tell you something like that!” 

“Cassian, for god’s sake,” Jyn pointed out. “now is not the time to be setting boundaries.”

He seemed to consider that for a moment. She knew that sometimes, they were still thinking too much with their heads about all this, about what they should and probably shouldn’t do, but damn it, she was supposed to be doing this because of the bonuses of not-thinking! Her hands had been resting against his chest as he leaned against the sofa, but now she let them move. She saw him gulp. “C’mon …” she murmured. She leaned in, nipping at his jaw. Her hands wandered up into his hair as she said, “just tell me that you like how wet I am or something.”

He swore in Spanish.

“What did that one mean?”

He shook his head. “JYN.”

“FINE,” Jyn sighed. “tell me about how you arrested this bloke instead?”

Incredibly, that one worked surprisingly well.

You have (1) deleted item:  

From: g.erso@cambridge.ac.uk Sent: Monday 12th June 2017 9:16pm To: jyn-erso@gmail.com Subject: Hi

Hi Stardust.

I understand that you still don’t like hearing from me but I just thought I should let you know that I’m going to be in London the next few weeks. It’s a research project I’m working on, I’m technically not allowed to say any details, but it’s really exciting work and I think you’d enjoy hearing about it.

I hope you are well, Jyn. Last time I heard directly from you, you had decided that university wasn’t for you. I hope that whatever you’re doing now, you’re happy and settled.

I’m sorry that things aren’t better or perfect. But I love you, Stardust.

Dad. 

My dad emailed again

Shit. Did you answer?

Lmao no He’s apparently in London Probs wants me to go and see him or something but that’s the thing, it’s always on his terms! I could go all the way to his fucking front doorstep but it wouldn’t make a difference cause only he apparently gets to dictate when and where he wants to be a goddamn father  Fuck sorry 

Jyn it’s fine Want me to go arrest him? I’m sure I could make something up 

[crying/laughing emojis] Sure thanks

Consider it done

“Hey, check this out,” she called from her perch on the kitchen bench, not looking up from her phone. “they say that people who have regular sex live longer.”

“Who says that?”

“The internet.”

“Well, I’m convinced.” Jyn threw a nearby junk mail magazine at him. Cassian battered it away easily from where it was his turn to cook that night and she barked out a laugh. Keeping each other company while the other cooked was a leftover tradition from when Bodhi had still lived with them and it wasn’t something they’d really moved on from yet, despite it being months now. Even though they saw each other literally all the time, Jyn still admittedly missed having her childhood best friend around all the time. She could only imagine what he’d have to say if he ever found out that they’d been sleeping together though, so it was probably better to focus on the positive sides.

Honestly, the bonus of being flatmates was that there were no logistics whatsoever to worry about! They could simply pick whoever’s bed happened to be the closest and no other flatmates meant that the rest of the flat was fair game (sorry Bodhi). And already being friends meant that Jyn didn’t have to care about being self-conscious when the lights were on, nor having to worry about sounding like she was dying when she was coming. Cassian had already seen her at her most pathetic 4am, crying and Netflix-binging state. 

Nothing could be worse than that, after all. 

“Cassian!” Kay’s voice piped up from the lounge, then. “I’m afraid to say that if Jyn is helping you cook tonight, I won’t be able to eat anything. I can’t risk food poisoning–”

“It’s like he’s not even human,” Jyn noted, swinging her head up to shoot Cassian a look.

He just shrugged like, what can you do?

Jyn glanced back over the kitchen bench and around the corner, to where she could see Cassian’s work partner currently huffing at being ignored, despite that literally all their friends were also currently lounging, chatting and laughing around him. She considered yelling out that they’d had sex right where Kay was sitting not even 6 hours ago, but then again, they hadn’t told their friends about them for a reason. Bodhi had always been an avid matchmaker, even before he’d asked Luke out, and he would have read way too much into it. Han would just be an arse about it and keep asking her whose dick was bigger. Leia would want every sordid detail and Kay … well, Kay would probably want to murder her.

No, it was easier just keeping this between themselves.

“What did I seriously ever do to make that man hate me?” Jyn grumbled, tucking her phone under her armpit as she folded her arms.

“You were your usual charming self,” Cassian noted.

“I don’t know why you’re being sarcastic, I’m a fucking delight.”

“Of course,” He turned to face her with a spoon in hand. “Right, Fucking Delight, make yourself useful and tell me if this tastes good–”

She gave a high-pitched mmm sound. “Well, with a hint of parsley–” 

“Oh, I don’t know why the hell I’m asking you,” Cassian said with deep resignation as Jyn pulled a face. He leaned over the bench next to her, calling out, “Kay! Please come take over Jyn’s job, she’s useless to me!”

“Of course she is,” she heard Kay mutter at once.

“If you think I'm putting out any time soon, you've got another thing coming,” Jyn threw back at Cassian quickly. 

“Naturally,” he just grinned. 

“For god’s sake, what’s got you so worked up about this?” Jyn might’ve laughed at the comedy of the situation if she hadn’t been so annoyed. There they were, both completely naked and yet still somehow yelling at each other from opposite sides of his bed. “It’s only doing it from behind and besides, it's perfect for us! You can’t even see my face, no emotions are involved whatsoever!”

“Jyn, c’mon! It’s almost too personal,” Cassian said in exasperation. “No, I can’t see your face, so you’d have to just believe that I’ll do it how you like. That’s … that’s a lot of trust to be putting in me.”

“Cassian, I let you put your dick in me,” Jyn said, scathingly. “I think it’s safe to say that I already trust you.”

“This is different!”

“HOW THE HELL IS THIS–?” Jyn had began, but soon broke off in a frustrated growl, closing her eyes. Unfortunately, she got it. They were already pretty close. They’d said that they’d only do this until they fell for each other, but she was starting to wonder now whether that was going to happen sooner than they’d originally thought. The two of them clicked. They worked in a way that was just chill and without stress, something that made her actually want to get through her shitty days so she could get back home to him.

She shook her head. 

“Ok, yeah,” she said, hastily. “I get it. Too personal. Wanna fuck me against the wall instead?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Im gonna watch a movie u wana join?

Which one?

Dunno......im thinking action lots of explosions, unnecessary sex scenes and big guns  

Well now, how can I say no Do we need more bathroom cleaner btw?   

Ya Toilet paper too

Got it Have you picked a movie yet?

I’ll wait til u get here Hey hey yyyyy Guess what colour underwear im wearing

Im standing in the frozen foods aisle, for christ’s sake

WRONG ANSWER It’s nothing I’m wearing nothing 

………jyn erso, are u seriously sexting me?

Is it working Our friendship is fucking ruined now isn’t it? 

I’m literally on my way home

Jyn’s knees hurt, but like hell was she moving any time soon. They probably shouldn’t have chosen the kitchen for this, it was hardly sanitary, but he’d started kissing her neck as they made dinner together and she’d ended up shoving him up against the bench. She’d started with his lips, but had steadily worked her way down, opening up his shirt and eventually his trousers until she’d gotten him right where she wanted him. One of his hands was fisted in her hair, but the other gripped the edge of the kitchen bench, his knuckles white. God, the noises that came from his mouth, it should be illegal or something –

“HEEEEY, GUYS! Just dropping off – wait –?” 

It apparently took Bodhi about half a second to realise what he was seeing. The sudden strangled yell from the entrance to the kitchen made her leap half a mile. She fell back on her arse as Cassian panicked, spinning around.

Bodhi slapped a hand over his eyes, a giant store-bought cake under his other arm.

“MY EYES!” he screeched. “GODDAMN IT GUYS, I CANNOT UNSEE THAT!”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Jyn cried. She hadn’t even heard the door open.

“It wasn’t so long ago that I used to live here too!” Bodhi removed his hand, but kept his eyes squeezed shut as he blindly reached out, trying to find the kitchen table. “Jesus Christ, it’s not even 3pm!”

“Bodhi–” Jyn rubbed her forehead warily, climbing up to her feet. Bodhi finally found the table. He dropped the cake onto it just as Cassian, who had been forced to hastily make himself decent, caught her eye and mumbled,

“Yeah, I’m just gonna …”

Jyn watched him leave with an almost amused look. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him run so quickly,” she mentioned.  

“So it's safe to look now, then?”

“Oh for god’s sake, Bodhi, we're adults aren't we?” Jyn rolled her eyes, kicking a chair out at the table for her to sink down onto. Bodhi thankfully let himself see again, tentatively sitting down next to her.  

“Look,” Bodhi grumbled. “I just didn’t expect to be seeing live porn when I walked in here, ok?”

“Sorry! Blimey,” Jyn said. “It’s not like we were expecting you bursting in, either … don’t worry,” she added in a huff at the look on his face. “It’s nothing serious or anything, we just … sleep together sometimes.”

Bodhi rubbed his eyes, looking like he’d just been told to believe that England would give up drinking tea for an entire year.

“Bloody hell, Jyn. Since when has THAT been happening?” he asked.

“Dunno,” Jyn shrugged. “Few months now?”

“Few MONTHS?” Bodhi threw up his hands. “That’s it! I don’t know why you lot even keep me around anymore, clearly as soon as I moved, it was out of sight, out of mind!”

“Shut up,” Jyn kicked him under the table. “There was nothing to really say!”

“I never thought you even liked him like that,” Bodhi said.

“It’s not about like!” Jyn said. “It’s about … look, turns out that we have pretty great sex and it was easy to just keep doing it. Don't think too hard, ok? There’s no emotions involved here.”

Bodhi just scoffed loudly. “OH, COME ON, that shit never works. Haven’t you seen the movies?” 

“That’s why we agreed to stop the second emotions did become involved,” Jyn said. “HA, see? We already covered this!”

But Bodhi was shaking his head, almost laughing now. “JYN. Oh, babe. Ok, so say you do keep doing this until that day you look at him and think ‘fuck, I’ve fallen for this bloke’. What makes you think that you’re going to want to stop sleeping with him at that point? Because I'd like to note that the brain isn’t all that great at being rational and logical when it’s being emotional.”

Jyn opened her mouth to immediately counter with her brilliant rebuttal … until she realised that she didn’t have one. Bollocks. She liked to think she’d do the rational thing and take that step back as planned – she was nothing, if not pragmatic – but Bodhi had planted that seed of self-doubt. It had been so long that she almost couldn’t remember what it even felt like. What if she fell and decided to fuck it all and never say anything? What if Cassian did? She couldn’t fall in love again, she had the same level of emotional intelligence as a goddamn lizard!

She couldn’t do it. Not with him.

Since her brain was screaming at her, it naturally made it the perfect time to ignore everything and simply wave off Bodhi’s point. “Since when have I ever been the emotional one?” she joked.

Bodhi only shook his head once more. “Just … shit, girl. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Yeeeeah, me too.

Jyn desperately cast around for a topic change, and noticed the cake then still sitting in its container inside the plastic bag between them. She nudged it and asked, “What’s this for, then?”

Bodhi stared incredulously. “… my birthday?”

“OH, SHITBALLS,” Jyn slammed a hand into her forehead. “I mean, I was honestly going to buy you a cake this time!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “don’t worry, I’ll act touched, just like every year.”

“I swear I’ll be onto it by the time you’re at least 30,” Jyn said, a little sheepishly.

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“Arsehole.”

Bodhi grinned as he dodged a wadded up receipt that Jyn had lobbed at his head.

“Hey,” Jyn folded her arms as she leaned against the doorway to Cassian’s room. “you all right?”

“I’m never going to be able to look Bodhi in the eye again, but yes,” he answered without looking up from the computer on his lap.

Jyn laughed a little. “Yeah … sorry I was interrupted. Did you want me to come and take care of that, or …?”

“Don’t worry,” Cassian held up a hand. “I think the moment’s passed. But I appreciate it.”

“Bodhi was bringing round the cake for his birthday party tonight.”

“Honestly, Jyn, it’s the same every year. You had one job.”

“Well now, see Bodhi’s gotten so used to buying his own cake that if I did actually do it at this point, we’d end up with two cakes!” Jyn pointed out. “It’d be messing up the whole system.”

“Who says there’s anything wrong with two cakes?”

Jyn shrugged a little, before venturing in closer. She nudged Cassian’s shoulder, and he shifted over so that she could settle next to him. “What’re you watching?” she asked.

“Mediocre horror movie. I kind of needed something as unsexy as possible.”

“Are we talking slasher or more supernatural thriller?”

“Oh, there’s definitely a lot of blood.”

“Perfect.” She leaned against his shoulder and his arm rested comfortably over her thigh. They didn’t move for the rest of the B-grade gore fest. 

Hey Jyn, I’m assuming you’re on your way, but want to warn you that your dad has for some reason turned up to my party Jyn Jyn did u get this msg? ???? JYN UR DAD IS LITERALLY AT MY PARTY I DIDN’T INVITE HIM I DON’T KNOW WHY HES HERE BUT TEXT ME BACK JFC JYN

… 

Shit cass are u with jyn? Goddamn it look at ur phone! Her bloody DAD is here Thats it, I’m calling u  

When Jyn walked into the pub and saw her dad, she was certain that it was somehow her punishment for being caught sucking off her flatmate. 

“FUCK,” she exclaimed.

Leia was the one who noticed her first, glancing around curiously at her curse. Quite frankly, Jyn still didn’t know Leia Organa all that well. Their introduction had admittedly been back nearly three years ago now, the two of them introduced when Bodhi had first started going out with her brother, but they admittedly didn’t talk one-on-one that much. Hell, she still wasn’t entirely sure whether the woman actually knew that Jyn and Han had once had a thing before. It wasn’t exactly a secret and they hardly kept their shared past discreet, so Jyn suspected that Leia had probably decided that it was just better to not explicitly ask. Jyn met Leia’s gaze for all but two seconds, before deciding fuck it, and leaping towards her.

“Hide me!” Jyn cried.

“What’s going on?” Leia asked, staring at her in bemusement.

“The fuck if I know!” Jyn hastily pulled up the hood of her jacket, keeping her back to where Galen Erso was on the other side of the pub, sitting by himself rather awkwardly. “Tell me, do you also see the middle-aged bloke sitting alone at the bar? Dark hair, looks rather out of place?”

“Yes …?”

“Great, I’m not hallucinating then. That’s my DAD, Leia,” Jyn clamped her hand onto Leia’s arm. Whether it was for comfort or just in sheer panic remained to be seen. “Whom I have not seen for god knows how many years now, because he walked out on me and my mum when I was eight and half the time forgets to even send a birthday card, let alone remember I exist!”

“… well, this went in a direction I wasn’t expecting,” Leia said, a little blindsided. “Shit.”

“NO KIDDING.”

“Do you know what he’s doing here?”

“I deleted his email!”

“I … think we’re getting a little hysterical here, Jyn.”

“I just–” Jyn roughly yanked out her phone. “He messaged saying he was in London, but I really didn’t want to see him so I deleted it. Look–! Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jyn slammed her phone several times into her hand. “This decrepit thing turned itself off on me again!”

“Ok, ok,” Leia glanced over her shoulder as Jyn waited for her crappy phone to reboot itself for the billionth time. “Subtle observations indicate that … oh, he’s just seen Bodhi! Bodhi doesn’t look that shocked though, just making small talk now. I think he already knew he was here, he keeps looking at his phone …”

“Oh, Christ,” Jyn stared at her own phone suddenly coming to life in her hand. The dozens of messages and missed calls were flooding in. Surely half of them were from Bodhi trying to warn her. The log of missed calls told her that Cassian had apparently been trying to get a hold of her as well. Jyn was used to feeling screwed over by this point in her life, but the sudden reappearance of her father had thrown her for a loop. She felt like her chest was screaming. A little helplessly, she glanced up at Leia.

The other woman held herself up determinedly.

“What do you need me to do?” she asked at once. “I’ll lend you my jacket if you want to sneak out – or I’ll call Han and get him to chuck him out of here – or – I don’t know, do you even like hugs, or–?” She cut herself off in surprise as Jyn suddenly threw herself into Leia’s arms.

Normal people hugged and offered shoulders to cry on as a sign of friendship, but Jyn was woefully bad at showing affection for literally anybody aside from sending memes out of nowhere at 2am. But she’d never appreciated the woman in front of her more, and a hug just seemed like the thing to do. Leia startled, but wound her arms tight around her in return.

“Thank you,” Jyn muttered.

“Hey, no problem,” Leia said. She squeezed her one last time, before stepping back. “Just do me a favour and please never tell me whatever the hell it was that happened between you and Han, ok?”

“Deal,” Jyn snorted.

Fortunately, at that point, her phone rang again.

“Cassian,” she said at once.

“JYN!” Cassian’s voice was agitated with panic. “FINALLY! LISTEN, ARE YOU AT THE PARTY YET? DON’T GO TO INTO THE PUB–”

“Yeah, about that,” Jyn said. “Too late. But don’t worry, I know my dad is here.”

She heard Cassian mutter a few choice phrases under his breath. “I’m so sorry – look, I’m just arriving now, where are you? What do you want to do from here?”

“I’m with Leia, we’re near the – I SEE YOU!” She and Leia waved frantically at the front door, where Cassian had just arrived. Relieved, he hung up the phone and hurried toward them through the crowd. Watching him, Jyn realised that her inner Panic Mode had started subsiding the second Cassian had walked in. Leia apparently also noticed. She kept glancing between her face and Cassian’s, still struggling through the crowd.

“So you guys are still fucking …?” she asked casually.

“Yep.” 

“And you’re not in love with him?”

Jyn didn’t answer.

However, before Cassian could reach them, someone else apparently did. Jyn heard the voice behind her, heard her childhood nickname, and everything inside her spasmed. Please no. She didn’t want to do this, she didn’t have the strength for this. She turned warily to see that her father had found her.

He looked tired, but then again, he had as well on every other rare occasion that she’d seen him. More than tired, he had a heavy air, like something invisible was weighing him down but Jyn couldn’t afford to get sentimental here. A tiny part of her somewhere would always be that little eight-year-old who loved her papa and had begged him not to leave, but another would forcefully remind herself that no one should have to endure the radio silence she'd gotten in the years since. Yes, she wanted him back. She wanted to be able to talk to him, she wanted to understand, she wanted an actual father … but she couldn’t do it right now.

“I’m sorry, Star – Jyn,” he hastily used her name at the look on her face. “Jyn … I’m so sorry for intruding like this, I really am. But I remembered it was Bodhi’s birthday, and I saw on Facebook that he was having a party here, and I just wanted to see you–”

“If you’d wanted to see me, you would have said yes the million times I asked,” Jyn snapped back, beyond done. “I don’t want to talk to you!”

“Please, Jyn–”

“What’s happening?” Cassian burst in on the scene, practically skidding into her side. Leia, Jyn noticed, had subtly sneaked away and was currently yelling frantically at Han somewhere over the bar.

“Nothing,” Jyn quite firmly planted a hand on Cassian’s chest to keep him back. “He was just leaving.”

“I want us to talk, Jyn,” Galen said, desperately. “We haven’t properly talked in years, I feel like I’m losing you–”

Jyn let out a deserive snort of laughter. “Look, Dad. Who’s fault is it that we don’t talk? The only times I ever got to see you growing up was when it suited you. But I don’t care, I’m old enough that I don’t need you anymore,” She stared him down hard. “If we ever do actually talk again, it’s going to be when I want to, on my terms. If you push me, try contacting me at all, I swear you’ll never see me again. I know how to contact you if I want. Now, leave me, Bodhi, and my friends the HELL alone.” 

She didn’t know what reaction she’d get, honestly. It was probably the most defiant she’d ever been. Cassian still stood resolutely by her side, not saying anything, but obviously about a second away from defending her if all hell broke loose. Galen nodded clearly, his eyes a little lost.

“I understand. You won’t hear from me again,” he said, regret pinching his voice. “Please know, Jyn … if you ever call, I’ll always answer.”

He turned and left.

Bodhi was completely beside himself.

“I WAS FUCKING PANICKING, I’M SO SORRY!” he kept yelling over and over, at least until Jyn could get a few drinks in him. “I saw him and he was making small talk and telling me happy birthday, and I didn’t know how to throw him out without making a scene and–”

“It’s fine! Bodhi, it’s fine,” Jyn threw an arm around his shoulders, shoving a pint into his hands. “I told him to leave and he did, it’s all ok – besides, we can’t let this ruin your birthday!” 

There were thankfully cheers and chinks of glasses all around then, the dramatic Erso Family Tension slowly being forgotten as the night went on in favour of celebrating Bodhi’s birthday in excitement. Yes, maybe Jyn got a little more than just blind drunk, but quite honestly, she hadn’t felt so uplifted in years! Leia pulled her out to dance several times, the two clinging to each other to remain upright. Han’s bar converted a raised stage area into a space for dancing at a certain hour, which was a little dangerous in that Luke fell off it several times, but Bodhi was thankfully always there to catch him. At one point, Han came out from behind the bar and whispered into Leia’s ear, earning a smack and a dance in rapid fire. As she was swept up, Jyn suddenly felt arms wrap around her from behind. She clung on gratefully as the popular tunes got turned up.

“Hey – heeeey – thank you,” she yelled over the music.

“For what? I didn’t do anything!” Cassian said back. 

“’zactly,” Jyn turned her head, except the movement made it swirl and it nearly knocked her off her feet. She tipped over slightly and Cassian’s strong arms had to haul her back upright. Jyn’s face had gone bright red as she slurred, “You din’t try an’ fight my fight for me … you backed me – had my – back? I jus’ mean you stood and din’t try defen’ my honor, or whatever the fuckin’ …” She had absolutely no idea what she was saying. Just that the man with his arms currently around her was one of the most decent human beings she’d ever met.

(She didn’t kiss him.

But god, she wanted to).

Hahahahhha, she wasn’t spiralling! Noooooooo.  

(Maybe if she kept telling herself that over and over again, she’d eventually believe it).

She watched Cassian desperately from the kitchen doorway. 

Regular sex had obviously been good for her. Even Bodhi had (reluctantly) commented that both she and Cassian had seemed less stressed lately, that their skin had cleared and that their crops had been watered, or whatever the fuck. Apparently, finding out about them had made a lot suddenly make sense. Jyn felt it. Somehow, her job had gone from Fucking Unbearable, to Still Made Her Want to Die, But Admittedly Kind of Tolerable Now. It was amazing what a good orgasm or two could achieve!

Somewhere down the lines, it had even gotten comfortable. Some might have assumed she meant that they’d plateaued, but that wasn’t the right phrase. Despite their closeness, it was always going to be a little weird seeing each other properly naked for the first time, but now it had grown into something that felt … natural. It never felt awkward or forced, only …

Right. The word was right, it felt right.

She wanted to cross the room and wrap her arms around his waist. She wanted to breathe him in, she wanted him to be the first thing she saw when she woke up in the mornings, and she wanted to fuck his brains out against the table before cuddling sweetly on the sofa. She wanted far too much for their deal, and oh, don’t mind her, just having a bloody panic attack in the hallway!

She should have been better prepared for this! Damn it, she'd watched the movies and everything!

“Oh, hey!” Cassian suddenly called out, noticing her behind him. “You got off early, sorry I haven’t made you anything–”

Jyn hastily put on a smile.

“I’M FINE,” she squeaked. “NO, wait – it’s fine, I mean …”

From: enrollments@ucl.ac.uk Sent: Thursday 21st July 2017 2.11pm To: jyn-erso@gmail.com Subject: Congratulations! Your enrolment details

To Jyn, 

We are pleased to inform you that your application for Bachelor of Arts has been accepted. We are looking forward to you starting your journey to higher education this September …  

From: jyn-erso@gmail.com Sent: Friday 22nd July 2017 8.41pm  To: l.erso925@gmail.com  Subject: I've gone insane 

Mama – 

Thought I’d let you know that I kind of signed up for uni again. I decided it was time to finish my degree. I'm going to look into whether the study I did before still counts or whether I'll need to start over (I mean, God I hope not) and I know it’s only a BA, but it means a lot to me. Who knows maybe I’ll finally get to quit the coffee shop someday!

…sorry, I’m making jokes, I’m not nervous at all.

Love you,

Jyn

“WHY DID YOU LET ME DO THIS?”

“Just to reiterate, once again,” Cassian said, flicking through channels on the TV. “I did not force you hit the submit button. Hell, I wasn’t even home at the time.”

“STILL!” Jyn cried, throwing her hands up as she paced in front of the TV every 10 seconds. “You’re my best friend, your job is to stop me from doing stupid things!”

“I thought it was to join in on the stupid things?” 

“CASSIAN.”

“Look, how is going back to uni stupid?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, sit down,” he added as she paced past the sofa once more. Jyn found herself getting dragged down next to him, a little chagrined. “You clearly want to do it, or you wouldn’t have applied in the first place. You are more than capable, Jyn. You’re intelligent, determined and it's something you clearly enjoy learning about.”

Jyn bit her lip. “But last time I gave up.”

“You were dealing with other things in your life at the time,” Cassian gently reminded her. “Your father and the stress wasn’t a good combination. It’s ok to take breaks from things that aren’t good for you at the time.” 

“This has been a hell of a break, Cassian,” Jyn scoffed. “It’s been over three years.”

“It’ll come back to you.”

“Easy for you to say!” Jyn threw up her hands. “This is insane, first sign of it getting hard and I’m going to quit again, I know it! I – I don’t know why I ever thought–”

He swooped down and kissed her. God.

She wasn’t sure why he had cut her off mid-sentence at first, but when she realised that her brain had melted to the point where she was swimming in it, she started to figure that that might’ve been his goal. Make her relax, make her forget. She could barely remember her name, so it was (un?)fortunately working. She was already pressed close to him on the sofa and he used it to their advantage, reaching down to move her scrunched-up legs, hooking them over his lap. Hands in her hair, he pulled back to murmur, 

“Calm the fuck down, Jyn, yeah?”

She could only make some kind of squeaking noise in response.

His lips traversed her jaw and neck, her heart slamming so ferociously in her throat that she was certain he had to feel it. She needed to stop this. She needed to say no. She had to face it, she was halfway in love with him and she needed to put a halt on everything before it all got wildly out of control but blimey, he believed in her. Her best friend believed she could do this, her best friend would do anything for her and her best friend’s hands were sneaking under her shirt, making her skin sizzle. Motherfucker.

She was so screwed.

Hey

Hey Why aren’t you asleep? 

OH u know Keep thinking 

FOR THE LAST TIME, you’ll be great at uni. You’ll graduate and get to wear the hat and I’ll probably cry because I’m so proud of you …………did u seriously text me at 1am and then fall asleep on me????

NO, no, I’m still here

What’s wrong, Jyn

Nothing, I just…… U know how we said we’d just do the whole ‘sleep together’ thing until one of us got feelings right?

Right

Well I got feelings A Lot of em And I’m sorry, but I think I first got them a while ago, but in my defence I didn’t actually KNOW so I didn’t say anything, but even when I did know I didn’t say anything but I couldn’t keep NOT saying something so this is me saying something and I know we said we'd stop when this happened but thing is I don’t think I actually want to stop so yeah 

The moment Jyn’s rambling text was sent, she immediately regretted it. What the fuck you have to go and say all that for, you eejit? She could have left it at ‘I got feelings’ and that would have been fine! Nooo, she just HAD to go and spill everything like some bloody romance movie.

Oh my god, she was Mila Kunis!

She stared at the messaging app until her eyes blurred. Minutes passed without a reply and eventually, she shut off the phone, slamming it back onto her bedside table. She wasn’t going to be able to face him in the morning. She rubbed her eyes warily before attempting to snuggle back down under the blankets. All of this was a colossal mistake. LET’S JUST SLEEP TOGETHER, she’d said, IT’LL WORK OUT FINE, she’d said. Nothing ever went wrong when you slept with your otherwise-platonic best friend and flatmate, everyone knew that! Oh god, one of them was going to have to move out now and since she was the one who’d fucked up, it would probably be her. She’d have to move in with Bodhi and Luke and be a third wheel! Either that or live with her new best friend, Leia … actually no, then she’d have to deal with Han coming over all the time and being a prick about it. Better stick with Bodhi and Luke –

SLAM.

Jyn leapt a fucking mile. Her bedroom door was suddenly flung open and in the meagre light of a phone screen, Jyn saw Cassian standing there. She noticed that their recent text conversation was pulled up on his phone and he was staring at her incredulously (and rather dramatically) from the doorframe. She didn’t know what on earth to say.

She shifted uncomfortably in bed, sitting up a little. “I’m sorry–”

Within three strides, he’d crossed the room and leaned down, crushing his lips to hers.

The phone was thrown somewhere across the room. His hands snaked around her waist, practically falling into her on the bed. They rolled and her legs were tangled in the blankets but she was fucking soaring and she didn’t care. She kicked herself free, wrapping herself around him, tasting the late night on his tongue. Minutes, hours, she honestly didn’t know how long they spent holding each other, kissing like it was the first and last times all at once. He slowed though, pressing his lips to hers once more before her cheek, dragging a hand out of her hair and to her face.

“I got feelings too,” he admitted,

“Oh … oh,” It appeared that she’d forgotten English entirely. 

“I also didn’t say anything.”

“Guess we really fucked this up then, huh?”

She could feel him smile against her cheek, his legs tighten where they were tangled with her own. “Yes. Fucked it up completely.”

“I had a good time doing it, not gonna lie.”

“I want to keep doing it, too.”

Click. Something snapped into place.

“Oh, thank god.”

“Am I to understand that I will have to endure this every time we hang out together now?” Kay sighed exasperatedly from his side of the table. “Because if so, I am more than happy to go find new friends–”

Jyn just kissed Cassian harder in retaliation, sticking up her finger in Kay's general direction for good measure. 

Absolutely no one had been surprised to learn that Jyn and Cassian apparently weren't just sleeping together anymore. Bodhi had yelled, “CALLED IT!” while Luke groaned in exasperation, slumping further down into his chair around their usual table at Han’s pub. Leia, who had been in the bathroom at the time, had come back only to cackle at the news while Han incredibly even shouted them both a free drink in celebration, something almost unheard of from the man. She only finally pulled back when Kay started throwing salted peanuts at them.

“Honestly, if you want to fuck off, be my guest!” Jyn growled, arm still slung around Cassian’s neck. “I’ve only been waiting for it ever since we met, after all.”

“Cassian, why,” Kay deadpanned in response. 

The ultimate pro of the Scathing Comment, Cassian threw back something funny and non-committal. Jyn honestly wasn’t listening too closely. Her brain was a little fuzzy from all the alcohol and kissing, she started uni again in a couple months, and quite honestly, for what felt like the first time in her life she wasn’t worried. She spent the night laughing with Leia, exchanging stories that were long over-due and sitting next to Bodhi whenever she wanted to go and talk on his side of the table. She would catch Cassian’s eye every now and then and feel her face flush at the slow smiles that they would exchange.

She had expected this latest transition to be weird, but quite honestly, she shouldn’t have. If the last few months had taught her anything at all, it was that whether they were doing it or not, things still somehow worked out between them. It was like this potential had always been there, just simmering away underneath everything they did. She didn't buy the theory that it was fate, but even she couldn't deny that whatever it was, it was a connection that went beyond anything explainable. No, she didn’t have a bloody clue as to what she was doing and yes, she was 1000% fucking terrified, but then he’d look at her like that from across a crowded room and suddenly, she was ok with it again.

“Do you think Kay will ever get over it?” she joked, stumbling a little into the street.

He tugged on her hand hastily, keeping her from keeling over into the gutter. “Maybe one day,” he said. “However, today is not that day, sorry.” 

“Weird thing though is I don’t actually hate the tosser!” Jyn pointed out with all the clarity she could muster with a few drinks in her. “He’s annoying as fuck, but he’s decent enough. Which reminds me, why are we walking home instead of being dropped off on the corner like normal?”

“We kept making out in the backseat, and Kay kicked us out.”

“Oh, that's right,” Jyn grinned.

The night was brisk, but clear. They walked in silence for the few extra minutes it took to reach their building, Jyn’s fingers clenching unconsciously between Cassian’s. She hadn’t intended on saying anything, but she suddenly stopped just before they were about to head inside. “Hey,” She spoke to her boots, wincing at the sincerity that was about to come out, but to hell with it. “Seriously, though … I’m sorry I’m not the girl Kay wishes I was. I know I suck at this.”

“Jyn …” Cassian began.

“No, no!” Jyn insisted, waving off the look on his face. “Really! Like, not even kidding, we both know I’m the nutcase here, HA – so, um, I don’t know … thanks, I guess. For not cutting me loose.”

Cassian squeezed her fingers, stepping in closer. “Jyn, you know that you got stuck with me for life the day I first moved in. This isn’t going to change anything.”

“I’m serious! I swear I barely even know how to do the relationship thing anymore–”

“Hey. Something tells me that we’ll figure it out,” He let go of her hand to punch her shoulder lightly.

This man was something else. 

Jyn responded by throwing all caution to the wind and just kissing him right there in the street. It was about time she let him know that she was as in deep as he was, and the way to convey that was naturally to wrap her arms around his neck and drag him down to her lips. No, she didn’t know how the hell things were going to go from here. Maybe they'd fuck up tomorrow, maybe one day it would all get too much, but also just maybe, things would somehow work out. 

Maybe this entire thing hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

- Fin 

[universi-tea]

Every year when January rolls around I have the urge to simplify -- to start the new year fresh and clean and uncluttered. This doesn’t mean getting rid of everything (I’m faaaar from being a minimalist), just getting rid of the things that weigh you down. So, here’s the unofficial guide to simplifying without going full-on Marie Kondo. 

physical clutter

What’s the area in your room that stresses you out when you see it? Start there. A few quick tips on how to clean specific areas:

closet

Take allll your clothes out of your closet, wardrobe, or dresser

Put the things you know you’re keeping back in right away -- your favorite jeans, that black dress you wear all the time, etc

Once you’re left with just the ‘maybes’, try every item on.

If you wouldn’t buy it all over again, it should probably go.

Don’t just toss what you don’t want, though! Donate it to a local thrift store, charity, or church with a community closet.

desk + shelves

Again, start by completely clearing off your desk and study area.

Go through your binders and make sure everything is in it’s correct place

Migrate materials from old classes into files out of the way if they’re important, or toss them if you won’t use them again.

 Make sure everything has a home -- pencils should be in a bag or mug, papers in files or trays, and notebooks neatly stacked.

Make a point to clean your desk regularly!

If you have supplies you don’t need, donate them! Let’s be real -- you have way more pens than you could ever use.

Books are also a wonderful thing to donate! Your local library or thrift shop would be my top pick. 

If you still have old textbooks laying around, list them on your school’s bulletin board to sell, since most thrift shops won’t accept them. 

under your bed

Let’s be real: most all of this can go. Grab a trash bag and toss anything that’s not important.

You can get one of those rolling tupperware under-the-bed organizers, or just stick what has to stay under there in a thin  cardboard box.

Be sure not to leave things loose under there, or you may end up with some unwanted pals living under there ~

digital clutter

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have a lot of digital clutter. It’s so easy to build it up and forget about all that you have stored on your computer!

Go through your phone and delete photos you don’t need, apps you don’t use, and old messages. 

Do a major computer overhaul! Delete old files and programs so that you have more space.

Put all your files into folders so that they’re easier to find later on.

Take a look through your friends and following lists, and delete all those people that post negative things.

mental clutter

This is the big one. Mental clutter comes from all of the above, plus just living your life. Some tips for decluttering your mind:

Do a nightly brain dump. Before you get into bed each night, open up your journal and write down everything that’s on your mind. Once it’s on paper, you can let it go until the morning. 

Find relaxing habits to practice everyday: yoga, taking a warm bath, going for a run, etc

Practice mindfulness or meditation

Keep a planner!

Practice not letting yourself harbor bad thoughts

Stay away from negative people if you can. You don’t need negative attitudes to be adding your already stressful life!

simplify your schedule

Learn to say ‘no’ more -- if you don’t want to go to your friend’s-cousin’s-niece’s dance recital, don’t.

Streamline your daily routine;

Get ready faster by nixing the makeup you don’t love to put on and finding quick and easy hairstyles

Make an outfit idea board on Pinterest and fill it with outfits that you can make from pieces you already have in your closet so you spend less time finding an outfit 

Cook meals in advance when possible, or stick an easy meal in the crockpot before you leave for the day

Tidy every room just a bit before you leave it, so that you don’t have to devote an hour to cleaning it later on

Make time for you each week

See if there are any chores that you can outsource (eg, some grocery stores will shop for you for free, all you have to do is order online and go pick it up)

Don’t feel like you have to participate in something you don’t enjoy. If you don’t love the sport, don’t play it

I hope you all have a very simple and relaxing year, good luck to you all!

[cornbreadcrumbs]

The Three Musketeers; Or, How I l Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Friends

So I recently finished reading Alexandre Dumas’ famous and beloved novel “The Three Musketeers” and honestly, it’s incredible and funny and fabulous and everyone should go read it right now. Like, right the fuck now, cause I’m about to gush hardcore on this book and you could better spend your time reading the actual story. That said, if you want to be sold on why this book is so awesome, then join me my friends. Let’s. Get. Dangerous.

First off, let me give all the accolades I can to the author, Alexandre Dumas. Talk about black excellence, Dumas was the son of Thomas-Alexandre Dumas, aka The Black Count. A brilliant general in the service of Napoleon Bonaparte and the highest ranking officer of African descent in a European army, he died tragically when his son was only four years old. When he came to adulthood, young Dumas would find his fortune as a prolific writer, authoring thousands of manuscripts that included travelogues about various countries, romantic and historical plays, and of course the swashbuckling adventure novels that make him a household name to this very day. A man who lived life to the fullest, known for his warmth, boundless generosity, affable humor and womanizing adventurousness, he straddled the 19th century as a gentle giant of literature. All of his best personal qualities can be found in his works, including “The Three Musketeers.”

 “The Three Musketeers” tells the story of a young impoverished nobleman by the name of D’Artagnan as he matures and gets himself into adventure and mishap, making a close bond of friendship with the titular three musketeers along the way.

What blew me away about the book is how not like any of the movie adaptations it is. If you’re like me, you’ve probably seen at least one movie version in your time. While it’s true that D’Artagnan and pals are the protagonists of the novel, Dumas is faaaar to clever to tell a simple tale of good and evil. 

Instead of bland Good Guys vs Bad Guys, Dumas paints a world of ambition and excitement. The King of France is an idiot, so naturally he defers to his chief minister Cardinal Richelieu for matters of state. The various denizens of France scamper and peep about to try and find their place in a land of spies, secrets, intrigue, and opportunity. The good guys sometimes act like assholes, the “bad guys” are often just trying to do their job. There is a definite grayness to the morality of this world. Virtues in Dumas’ book are ingenuity and loyalty, personal bravery is always presented in the best light and it’s the smart characters who earn the reader’s respect.

The novel was originally published serially, so its very dialogue heavy with many chapters ending in a cliffhanger. There is a certain episodic feel, but the book blends each episode into the next with relative ease. There isn’t one overarching plot, instead we get to learn about our characters and see them interact. Through this, we get to know them, grow close to them, and in the end we’re left feeling like we are a part of this world.

The musketeers themselves are different flavors of awesome. There’s the noble and mysterious Athos, always cool under pressure and possessed with self confidence that marks him out as the Ultimate Badass. He drinks all the time, but never demeans himself. His history is shrouded in tragedy and mystery, but he proves to be more capable of love and generosity then any other character.

Then there’s the blustery Porthos. All of us have met a Porthos in our time. He’s big and tall and boisterous. He laughs a little too loud, eats a little too much, and is a bit of a dumb blowhard. On the downside, he’s a greedy SOB who’s not afraid to con hapless inkeepers and besotted widows alike. But on the upside, his heart is far greater then his appetite, and generates most of the laughs. He’s endearing and you have to love him.

My secret favorite has to be Aramis. Discreet, polite, well dressed, and consistently the wisest and most mystifying. He has connections everywhere, and through clever textual clues, he’s indicated to be the true ladies man in the group. Not that he would ever engage in “locker room talk,” Aramis is the master of discretion and polite chivalry. He’s also a sweetheart who’s always threatening to become a priest whenever he believes his secret mistress no longer loves him. He blushes a lot too.

Finally there’s D’Artagnan. Bold, hot-headed, and a great swordsman, D’Artagnan is capable of great acts of nobility and kindness to those he loves. Sometimes he blusters his way into massive misfortunes, but his bravery and personal accountability never waver. He’s an HUGE asshole a couple of times in the book, but Dumas doesn’t make excuses for him. He’s young, still learning, and deep down a good kid. Even if he can be temperamental and stupid at times, he also has a good head for strategy and a spirit that leaps out of the pages. I love D’Artagnan and I will FIGHT YOU if you try to hurt him.

Outside of our protagonists are a whole host of vividly pictured and colorful characters. All of the musketeers have lackeys, all the lackeys have cute little backstories, and ultimately they emerge has heroes in their own right. Historical personages make their appearance, Kings and Dukes and Lords and one very lovely Queen help to fill out the world and lend an air of credibility to Dumas’ little world.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the villains. Cardinal Richelieu usually emerges as the Big Bad in most adaptations, but here he comes off more as a perpetually pissed politician. It’s not his fault the King is a moron, someone has to run the country after all. He’s something of a 17th century J. Edgar Hoover, he knows all and it stresses him the fuck out. Sure he sometimes employs skeevy methods for personal ends, but he’s not an evil man. Rochefort, his agent, is more of a specter then a fully fleshed out character, and just like his boss he’s not evil so much as an employee.

The Big Bad of this book is the delicious Milady de Winter. Milady is everything, she drives the plot of the book more so then any other single character save D’Artagnan. She is a brilliant actress, an ingenious plotter, a career criminal, and maybe a demon in human form. Seriously, she is compared to satan multiple times. She SCARES our heroes, they are intimidated by her. It would be too simple to make her just another femme fetale, instead we spend a good portion of the book watching how her mind works. You cannot help but admire how much of a badass this woman is, even if you despise her deeds. She feels no remorse, but she does feel things. Anger, fear, joy, and ambition, she is a cavalcade of emotion that destroys and terrifies. Milady is awesome.

So I’ve spent most of this post gushing over the specific characters and why I love it. Are there any drawbacks? Well, yes. It’s not a flawless masterpiece. There are a few strange shifts in the story, certain characters appear and then are dropped, besides Milady there is a considerable lack of female characters, which is a bummer. Sometimes it feels like Dumas changed his mind halfway through about how he wanted certain characters to be. On top of that, the constant dialogue can be tedious to read through at times.

Still, it kind of fits that this book is flawed. Like it’s characters, it’s not perfect. What matters is the book’s heart, which is strong and beautiful. I can’t force you to love this novel, but please give it a try. You can see shades of George R.R. Martin and other contemporary authors in Dumas’ writing. There is so much comedy, so much love and humor, so much life in this book, please don’t pass it by.

[kazephantom]

Binge watching The Flash season 4 and....

I’m only on episode 10 but... by god I fucking hate this season.

SO THE THINKER. He seemed like such a great and original villain, and his actor so far has been really great but the writers are just using his “super smart” power as an excuse to do whatever the hell.

There are just, so many thoughts I have so apologies that these are in random order

Apparently The Thinker’s super power isn’t that he’s super smart, it’s actually that he makes everyone else super stupid.

So when the Council of Wells finally narrowed down who The Thinker was. WHY. THE HELL. DID BARRY GO TO TALK TO HIM AS A CIVILIAN.

“Hey Barry, we think all these new villains are connected by an evil mastermind and we’ve got a suspect who that mastermind is.” “Great! I’ll go talk to him as Barry Allen!” “What? Why? That just puts your civilian identity at risk and The Flash is a known public figure now, confronting him as Barry Allen gives you no advantage whereas if you go as the Flash and he’s evil he’ll probably reveal himself or if he’s not evil he’ll fangasm out and be more willing to cooperate with you.”

Even if you can excuse that moment, there is a faaaar worse example later. So Barry suspects that DeVoe is pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes and decides to investigate DeVoe’s house.... ahem. WHY. DIDN’T. HE. INVESTIGATE. AS. THE. FLASH. WHY DIDN’T HE THINK THAT THE COLLEGE PROFESSOR WOULD HAVE A FUCKING SECURITY SYSTEM. HELL, WHEN HE WAS IN THE HOUSE WHY THE FUCK DID HE TAKE HIS HOOD OFF. THIS IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF STUPID.

So I will say DeVoe’s plan to frame Barry was actually really cool and well thought out. It just has one major fucking flaw in it. Why did Barry take his gloves off? No seriously, why did Barry do that? Like, at all? If Barry hadn’t taken his gloves off his skin cells wouldn’t be on DeVoe’s body and DeVoe’s DNA wouldn’t be under Barry’s nails. So, this whole plan hinged on the idea that Barry would just randomly take his gloves off for no reason.

DeVoe’s ‘‘intelligence” feels like it’s just a cop out for the writers. How did DeVoe fake his DNA on the coffee mug? Hell, how did DeVoe prevent Cisco from vibing the truth? “Oh he’s just so smart and the reason you can’t figure it out is because he’s just that much smarter than you.”  NO. Bullshit. “Super smarts” are not fucking magic, you still have to have an explanation for how he did that shit.

Barry’s whole trial is just. Such bullshit. First of all trials aren’t put on that fast, there is a long, loooong period of investigation and evidence gathering before the trial begins. Which, I get with DeVoe’s funeral it’s supposed to imply the passage of time but no, no no no, that’s a damn cop out. With a trail this important, with a villain setting up this big of a master plan you cannot just skip over details like that.  The whole trial was rushed as all hell with us only getting prosecution arguments. I guess to sell the whole “Barry is so totally screwed cuz the Thinker is so smart” but I don’t see the Thinker being smart, I just see the writers being lazy.

So. Barry doesn’t run back to Joe’s house when he’s caught at the scene, and he doesn’t testify because he thinks he can’t testify without lying about his secret identity. And he does both those things because he wants to uphold the letter of the law..... The vigilante. Wants to uphold. The letter of the law.  Hey Barry, if you cared about following the law so strictly maybe you should STOP FUCKING BREAKING IT AND CONFESS TO YOUR VIGILANTISM? HMMMM? THAT SEEMS TO BE THE BIGGER CRIME. And oh yeah, you cared ooh just sooo much about following the law when you BROKE INTO THE DEVOES’ FUCKING HOUSE.  Boy sure is convenient for Barry to pick and choose which laws he is and is not going to follow in such a way to pretty much guarantee his trip to prison.

So. Barry. By your logic it is better for you, THE FLASH, to be locked away in prison for a crime you are clearly being framed for, to protect your friends and family... Oh yeah, because the people you care about and the citizens of Central City will just be so protected while you willingly allow yourself to be hoisted to prison and then further willingly keep yourself there because ‘that’s what the law says’

I can’t even keep going with this post. I’m just exhausted typing that out. That’s not even all my complaints about this season. This season just fucking sucks and the villain is only smart because the heroes are idiots.

[maythewalridertakeyou]

misplacedteeth replied to your post “Okay but will they explain to us what the fuck happens to Blake while...”

i think he's still running in the cult but he's seeing something else. like an escape only worse

Yeah that’s what I was thinking. Him still moving, physically in the cult but his mind faaaar faaar away (and the fact that he start to bring up jess even more in the ‘real’ timeline kinda confirms it)