#--some point. realized now that i was spoiled by previous games i poked around the code of and theres no way to do so with this--

[beeapocalypse]

^ one route in FRANKS self improvement mini arc as well

[igotbulletproof-insomnia]

Adopting Bangtan 09

01 previous

AN UNLIKELY WEDDING

You bit your lip as you stared at your phone. You had an email from Jimin and Taehyung’s mother. Song Jieun was your old coworker who you had adored, but who also tricked you into taking care of her children so that she could get married without worry. Your respect and opinion of her had gone down significantly with that move, but you… didn’t exactly understand, but you did appreciate that she gave her children to someone who could properly take care of them instead of leaving them to fend for themselves which had seemed to be her original plan.

What’s wrong?” Seokjin looked up from the video game he was playing, ignoring the cut scene he had watched a dozen times before now to focus on you. You could hear the younger boys playing in their bedroom, the sounds of legos clattering and mouth-made explosions louder than what their closed bedroom door could block off. They were sounds that had become familiar in the past six months, sounds that used to be made by one child and were nowhere near this boisterous.

“Nothing,” you shrugged while you scrolled through the email a second time and tried to sort out your feelings. Seokjin’s stare burned into your cheek and rolled your eyes. “I mean it, nothing is wrong. Just…” You could feel your face twisting into a dissatisfied expression and tried to relax it back into something more neutral. There were times when you found you could rely on the eldest of your children, and times when you thought it was better to keep things to yourself, and you weren’t sure which one this was.

“Someone emailed me,” you hedge. “I’m just trying to decide how I feel.”

“That’s your worried face,” said Seokjin. “You only make that face about work and about us. But you also whine when you’re worried about work, so it’s about us, isn’t it? Which one of the kids is failing school?”

“No one is failing school,” you laugh. “Namjoon could be doing better, but I’m certain he just doesn’t care as much as his teachers want him to. Neither does Yoongi…. You know, as a teacher myself, I should probably be more concerned.”

“You’re appropriately concerned,” Seokjin reassured you. “Why should you worry about things you can’t control? You’re just going to age faster.”

“You’re going to stop calling me old one day.”

“Lying isn’t healthy,”

“Says the kid who lied his way into adoption.”

“I took advantage of my situation. That’s not lying, that’s cunning.”

“I didn’t raise you like this,” you say, standing.

“No, but that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? I’m raising myself, six kids, and my guardian. I can’t tell if I’m doing a piss poor job or not.”

“Language, Kim Seokjin!”

“Dinner, seonsaengnim!” he shouted back. The problem was, you aren’t sure if he successfully distracted you from your concerns or if you successfully distracted him from you.

===

Song Jieun’s email bothered you intermittently throughout the week. It’s not like you forgot she existed. You’ve received a hefty sum into your bank account every month for taking care of the boys, enough to make you wonder exactly why her new husband didn’t want to take care of them when he would probably be spending a lot less money if they were under his own roof. So no, Song Jieun wasn’t someone you forgot existed unlike like you could the rest of your kids’ parents, she just… wasn’t relevant. So it bothered you that she was trying to make herself relevant now, after six months of silence.

“You’re doing the thing again,” Seokjin poked your face. You startled, unaware that he had approached, but thankfully kept your coffee mug full. “What are you so worried about?”

“Nothing,” you say for the umpteenth time that week. “I’m not worried about anything.”

“You’ve been ‘not-worried’ since last Thursday,” Seokjin argued.

“So then why do you keep asking me what’s wrong?” You didn’t have to turn to see the weighted stare he gave you, you could feel it. That was the thing about your kids, all of them. They had a way of making you feel like you were the one in trouble, you were the one being raised instead of the other way around. Some days you were convinced that they were the ones keeping you around, explicitly for financial reasons.

“If you’re just going to insist on being stubborn,” Seokjin sighed. He poured two cups of coffee, one for himself and one for Yoongi, and turned the kettle on for Namjoon. The other boys would be zombie-walking their way into the kitchen for breakfast soon, so you and Seokjin set to work preparing leftovers from dinner a few nights ago.

“Song Jieun wants to visit the boys,” after a long, silent moment, you finally admit your concern. The kettle was puffing it’s pre-whistle warning, so you turned it off, sitting the pot on its wicker table mat until Namjoon made his way to the table.

“Who’s Song Jieun?” asked Seokjin. “Which boy? Not me, right?”

“No, of course not you, silly. You won’t even tell me your parents’ names. How am I supposed to know when they come to visit?”

“Trust me, they won’t,” Seokjin’s tone left no room for discussion, just a sad or regretful sort of resentment.

“If you say so,” you shrugged off your curiosity, familiar with how closed-off this kid got when it came to his home life before you. “Song Jieun is Taehyung’s mom and Jimin’s stepmom.”

“The coworker who tricked you into adopting them?”

“That’s what you got out of that?”

“Isn’t that what happened?”

“That’s besides the point,”

“That is the point.”

“What’s what point?” Namjoon shuffled into the kitchen.

“Our guardian is trying to decide if the twins should see their mother.” Seokjin answered.

“That’s not what I said,”

“That’s what you were going to say.”

“Everyone else gets nice, obedient, adoring children,” you grumbled. “I get sassy monsters who boss me around.”

“You raised us like this,” Namjoon said absently.

“I did not, you raised yourselves.”

“Same thing,” both boys speak in unison.

“I’m giving you two away.”

“Good luck living with Yoongi without us,” Seokjin shrugged. “You’ll be begging me to come back by the end of the week.”

“Joke’s on you, this is the end of the week.”

“My point still stands.”

“Okay, I quit, I won’t win this one,” you literally throw your hands in the air.”

“Good,” Jin grins at you in that cheeky way he’s mastered, taunting you.

“So what’s this about the twin’s mom though?” asked Namjoon. “I thought she…” he trailed off, but you understood what he was saying, or rather, what he didn’t want to say. I thought she didn’t want them.

“Yes and no,” you say. “She just… it’s… not exactly complicated, not if I were in her position, but… let’s just say, some people are stupid and not everyone has the same priorities.”

“Song Jieun chose to make herself happy over taking care of her kids?” Seokjin translated. “She didn’t want to take them to live with her new husband?”

“More or less,” You agree, taking note of the bitterness in his tone.

“You’re not allowed to get married,” Namjoon mumbled from the table.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not allowed to leave us or get rid of us because you want to be married,” Namjoon repeated. He’s obviously still half asleep from the way he lays his head down in his arms, but your heart clenches just a little bit from the casual desperation he speaks with.

“If I were to get married,” you said, “my future spouse would know that they come in eighth place anyway. I’m not getting rid of you, even your original parents would have to fight me. God will have to fight me.”

“But you’re still not allowed,” said Namjoon.

“Drink your tea, you’re talking crazy,” said Seokjin. “Our guardian will have to actually date first, and we all know that won’t happen.”

“The disrespect, I tell you!”

It’s after breakfast and during the chaos of getting seven young boys dressed and prepared for school when Seokjin knocks on your bedroom door frame, wearing an anxious expression.

“... Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“What’s up?” you asked. Seokjin walked fully into the room and closed the door.

“About… the twins? I… I don’t know what you’re thinking about, and that’s valid, but… I think you should maybe let them see her?” Seokjin didn’t fidget like the rest of the kids did. He leaned against the door, arms crossed and focused his eyes fully on you. It was moments like these when you realized exactly how mature your eldest was, and you recognized that most of it wasn’t because of you. Namjoon and Yoongi were you. Seokjin had probably been raising himself for longer than he’s lived with you.

“Okay,” you said.

“I just… if it was me, I would want to know that she still cared, right? And she does, I guess. You mentioned that she sends them money, and she wrote you a letter asking forgiveness, so that has to mean something. I just don’t want them feeling abandoned like the rest of us. Not if they don’t have to.”

“I’m just worried that it will confuse them even more,” you admitted. “It took weeks before Jimin would talk to us openly. Jieun-ssi isn’t going to stay. She’ll come for an afternoon or a day, take the kids out, spoil them, and then bring them back here, and they’ll both be wondering why. And I don’t know how to answer that question.”

“With the truth, obviously,” Seokjin rolled his eyes. “You’re always straight-forward with us. Why should this be any different?” Because they’re younger than you were. Because they were given away, not abandoned. Because their parent still cares from a distance. Because I don’t like making you all cry. Because picking up pieces has never been fun.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you said instead. “I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Seokjin nodded, and you can see him visibly deflate, relieved to be finished with the conversation. “That’s all I wanted to say. Don’t forget to take your lunch with you.”

“Make sure all the kids have theirs,” you countered.

“It’s funny because you thought I didn’t already do that,”

“I love you, Kim Seokjin,” was your response.

“I love you too, I guess.”

=======

Your talk with Seokjin gave you a new perspective, but you still felt apprehensive about everything. You just didn’t like the idea of hurting Jimin and Taehyung any more than they already have been. What type of guardian would you be if you just let them walk back into heartbreak? What if this was just a one-time visit and Song Jieun never came to see her children again? What do you do when the boys ask to see her again? You had been lucky that you only had to have one conversation about not being able to take the boys to see their mother in the last six months, but if Jieun could make the time and the trip to come visit, then what will be your excuse now? What if this visit was actually a prelude to taking the boys back home with her?

Oh.

Huh.

So that was the real problem then. You didn’t want the boys to leave you. As much as you groaned and complained about taking in so many kids -- usually just to yourself, but sometimes your stress got the better of you in front of the kids -- you loved them. Each one of them, you loved and adored them and the thought of any of them leaving you or being taken away hurt. Not only that, but where in the hell would any of those parents get off, what right did any of them have to come to you and even fix their mouths to ask you for “their” kid back? You had words prepared for each and every so-called “parent” of all seven of your boys, copies of your lost child police reports, drafts of parental rights transfer papers, the phone number for several NCPA lawyers, and a fist just itching to make contact.

But what if Taehyung and Jimin preferred to be with Jieun anyway? She is their mother. She raised them for years, even if she was Jimin’s stepmother. You’ve only had the “twins” as you and the older boys had taken to calling them, for six months. Why would they want to stay with you?

“Okay, but she didn’t say she wants to take the kids,” you told yourself against the slew of depressing thoughts. You retrieved your phone from your pocket and opened your emails. Finally pressed reply. “She just wants to visit. A visit is… safe. It’ll be okay.”

Probably.

=======

Later that day you received a new email. Song Jieun will be in town that weekend. Tomorrow.

It took a lot of effort for you not to swear and make plans to take the kids out of town.

=======

Song Jieun was pretty. She wasn’t particularly tall or “skinny” like what TV liked to portray, but she was hippy and had a cute face and short hair that she curled most days. She favored dresses with blazers or oversized sweaters and skinny jeans, with pale makeup and dark pink lipsticks. It was easy to pick her out at the cafe she asked to meet at. She sat alone off to the side, a coffee already in front of her, but two plates with fruit-decorated cakes were also placed nearby. You considered telling her that the boys weren’t allowed any sweets right now. It wouldn’t have been a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. They weren’t allowed sweet things like cakes until after dinner and only when they behaved well. Still, you decided that was just your frustration and jealousy talking. You didn’t want to punish the two boys because of their mother, so you bite your tongue and hold your bitterness and let it go.

“Jieun-ssi,” you greet uselessly, as the moment Taehyung and JImin saw her they sprinted across the room to tackle the woman in hugs. Jieun’s smile stretched across her face and she cooed and made cute noises as she greeted her sons in return. You felt something creep in your chest that felt a lot like jealousy. But you weren’t jealous. You couldn’t be. You just hugged them this morning when they tried to tickle you awake. You held both of their hands from your house to the cafe. You had nothing to be jealous of, they were your kids now.

“How have you been?” Jieun asked when you sat down across from her. Jimin and Taehyung were already seated and digging into the cakes she bought for them. You barely had a chance to answer before your chatterbox was rattling off every activity he’s done for the last six months to his mother. Jimin grinned and threw in his two-cent’s worth every few minutes, but generally let Taehyung carry the conversation for him. And you, in spite of all of the emotions pressing on your chest and clouding your judgement and making you really, really want to shake Song Jieun, you enjoy yourself. You watch your boys -- your boys -- smile and chatter and sing and show off for their mother. You wonder if they’ll be okay going home, if you’ll have tears to clean up later, or arguments to break up, or just pieces to sort out and glue, but right now the kids are happy, and right now, that’s what you’ll enjoy.

=======

Taehyung climbed into your bed that night. He should have been asleep an hour ago at least, you’re sure, but he’s seemed to have a lot on his mind since this afternoon, and you’ve been letting the kid have his own space to figure out his thoughts. As hyper as he normally is, Taehyung is also prone to moments where he just sits and fiddles and thinks and you’ve learned that it doesn’t do any good to bother him about it.

“Can’t sleep?” Taehyung shook his head as he slid across the blankets to bury his face into your shirt. You curled an arm around his shoulders and held him close.

“Mommy…” Taehyung started and trailed off. “Is Mommy happy without me?”

It felt like your heart stopped with the words of his question, but you continued to brush his hair with your fingers. It was a difficult question to answer. You wanted to be honest, but you also didn’t want to hurt him. Unfortunately, there weren’t too many ways to answer without hurting Taehyung one way or another.

“What do you mean?” Taehyung was quiet for another short moment before he spoke again.

“Mommy… didn’t seem sad. And she said she’ll see us another time. And… she got married, but she didn’t want to keep me and Jiminie… So I started wondering… is she happy now? Happier than she was before when it was just me and her and Jiminie? Did we -- I don’t think -- I --” And the kid seemed to break then, all of the tears that hadn’t been shed for six months seeming to finally culminate into an emotional outburst. You shushed him, holding him just a little more tightly, and the fingers in his hair moved down to stroke his back. This was the thing you had wanted to avoid, and while part of you felt satisfied to be right, most of you just fought your own tears. It hurt to see one of your kids so hurt. You aren’t a stranger to crying children, but this emotional distress was something that never got better. You thought that maybe Jieun had talked to the boys beforehand, maybe Taehyung had dealt with his emotions before he came to live with you and that was why he seemed so well-adjusted. Clearly, Taehyung had just been living in denial, or maybe with the belief that his mother would come back for him “later,” that you were only a temporary home.

“This isn’t your fault, Taetae,” you murmured. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes… sometimes adults make hard decisions. We think we’re doing the right thing and… sometimes it’s hard to see if we’ve made the right choice or not.” You sighed, picking through your words super carefully. “I think… I think that your mother made what she thought was the best decision for both herself and for you and Jimin. She believed she would be happy with her new husband. But she did not believe you and Jiminie would be happy. So she put you somewhere that you could be. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, but I’m still sad,” Taehyung cried harder.

“I know,” you said, “and that’s okay. I would be sad too.”

“I just want my mommy back,”

“I know.”

“I don’t want you to get married,” Taehyung said suddenly, long after his sobs had calmed down. Tears still fell, but slowly now. “I don’t want you to send me away too.”

“If you listen to your Jinnie-hyung, he says that won’t happen because I don’t date anyway.”

“Mommy didn’t date for a long time… and then she did. And then she got married.”

“I won’t get rid of you even if I did get married, Taetae,” you told him.

“You’re still not allowed to get married,” he argued. “Or date. You have to be mine forever and ever, okay?”

“No matter what, I will be yours forever and ever,” you agreed.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Taehyung asked. “I'm comfy and you make me not sad.”

“Of course,” you said. “You’re comfy like a teddy bear, I don’t want you to go.”

=======

In the morning, Taehyung was bouncing off the walls, screaming as he chased Jungkook around the house. Jimin was curled into a corner of the sofa, giggling while he watched his brothers play and encouraging Taehyung in his antics. You could hardly tell that Taehyung had an emotional breakdown the previous night. You knew he was far from being “over” his feelings about his mother, he was only eight and the feelings were complicated. But he was happy for now and that made you happy. You’ll deal with the noise and the chaos and shout at the kids yet again about running inside where things were breakable including themselves as long as they kept smiling.

Surprisingly, it was Namjoon who came knocking at your door after bedtime that night. Similar to Taehyung, he didn’t speak or ask permission, just closed the door behind him and slid into your bed. Buried himself beneath the blankets and stuck his head beneath the pillow and tucked his gangly limbs into a ball. You were familiar with these moods, but haven’t seen one in years, not since you took in Seokjin. So you finished the chapter you had been reading, turned off the light, and sank down to lay your head on your pillows. Similar to Taehyung, Namjoon would speak when he was ready, when he found the right words to use to express his feelings.

“You really won’t get married, right?” Namjoon whispered beneath the pillow next to you. His voice was heavily muffled, but you’d been waiting for him to speak for some time. You just didn’t expect for him to continue a joke conversation from several days ago.

“What’s wrong with me getting married?” you asked.

“If you get married, you’ll have to get rid of us.”

“There is no world where I will give up any of you just to get married, Namjoon.”

“But that’s what happens, isn’t it?” said Namjoon. “Adults… if they aren’t married, but they have kids… they get rid of them so that they can date. Because kids get in the way. Because it’s stupid to take care of other people’s kids.”

“Why does it sound like you just called me stupid?” Your sarcasm probably wasn’t appropriate for the moment, but the words slipped before you thought about it.

“We’re really lucky to have you, we know that,” said Namjoon. “But that just means --”

“Namjoon, I’m going to stop you right there,” you cut him off before he finishes. You remove the pillow from his face so that he can hear you clearly, and card your fingers through his hair. “I didn’t create any of you. I didn’t ask for any of you. But I have you. And I love you. I adore you. I will tear apart skies, drain oceans, and vanquish God if it will keep you all safe and happy, okay? If your parents ever come back for you, I will press charges against them and make it so that they can never look at you, let alone hurt you ever again, do you understand me, Kim Namjoon? You and Yoongi and Jungkook and Seokjin and Hoseok and Taehyung and Jimin, you’re all mine. You’re my kids, all seven of you, and I will be damned if any lover or spouse, or anything at all, comes between me and you. I don’t say that because it sounds good -- although seriously, you have to admit that this is one of my better speeches,” -- at that, Namjoon giggled, the noise muted and soft, but a win was a win -- “but I say these things because I mean them. I will put a brick in the hospital for you, Joonie.” You hesitate, but continue anyway. “If it weren’t for you, I may have left the country at the end of that year. Teaching is fun, but I wasn’t super happy before. But then you asked me to take you home and you were so cute that I got attached almost immediately. I didn’t want to take you to the police and have them send you to your parents. I liked having someone to come home to. I liked taking care of you. Most people go get a pet or a lover when they’re feeling lonely, but here’s me, collecting kids like you’re pokemon cards.”

“No one collects pokemon cards anymore,”

“What, is Yu-Gi-Oh back in style?”

“What even is that?”

“The coolest card game ever. Period.” Namjoon laughs again, and you feel accomplished.

“It’s not that cool if I’ve never heard of it,” Namjoon argues.

“Joonie. I love you. But even I know you aren’t the coolest among your classmates.”

“I’m the coolest out of all my friends!”

“I won’t argue about that. I’m also sure that in your group of friends, ‘coolest’ means ‘knows the biggest words and has the best grades.’”

“You’re just jealous,”

“Absolutely. I wish I knew as many words as you do. Imagine how much fun I’d have fussing at you kids in Smart People language!”

“Why are you like this?”

“Please, other kids wish they had someone as cool as me taking care of them.”

Namjoon cuddled closer to you in the bed, laying his head on your shoulder and gripping your pajama shirt. You spend a few minutes massaging his scalp, a soothing gesture for you just as much as it is for him. After a few minutes, you begin drifting off, believing Namjoon is on the verge of sleep as well.

“Are you really okay?” he asks. “With taking care of all of us? You don’t… want to go back home?”

“I am home, silly,” you flick the side of his head gently. “I love you. And even if I wanted to go back to my home country, don’t think I won’t take each one of you with me. I said you’re mine. I mean it.”

“Okay.”

And it’s not that you don’t believe him, but you know your kid. You know he internalizes things and finds convoluted ways to take blame for other peoples’ problems, including your own. You know it will be a while yet before he truly accepts and believes you when you say you want to keep him and enjoy taking care of him. But you also know that he wants to believe you and he’s trying. You idly wonder if you’ll have to have some sort of discussion in the morning, an announcement over breakfast that no children will be displaced in the event of an unlikely wedding. You dismiss the thought, deciding it was more likely to incite panic and give you a headache more than anything else.

To find more of my child-bangtan fics, select the "Collecting Strays" tag at the bottom of this page ^_^

[gojology]

Ringpops.

back to homepage pairing : gojo x gender neutral reader warnings : cursing, fluff. wordcount : 1688 a/n : i am so sorry for posting this late LOL, i’ve had a splitting headache all day and on top of that i had to make a buncha visually appealing aesthetic stuff for this so my poor brain is fried. welcome all new followers :) also this was rushed as usual... haha ████████████████  100% Complete. Enjoy your game.

    Valentines Day with Gojo was usually chaotic, but you didn’t blame him, it was apart of his personality after all.      He didn’t take you to any particular establishment, really. You were curled up in your bed, exhausted from a long day of baking goods, watching sappy love movies, and overall shenanigans. You didn’t particularly mind this though, a soft lazy breeze preventing you from overheating, you sigh in relief. It’s like the weather knew exactly what you needed for a relaxing evening.      Although, today seemed rather unusual. For the many years that you’ve dated Satoru, he never, ever dressed up. Usually he rolled out of bed, naked. A pair of grey sweatpants replaced what was usually his uniform pants. Just enough for you to see the start of his happy trail, in other words, a fruitful attempt of teasing you.      He knew that he was attractive, and you didn’t mind fueling his ego. A toned body, almost like he had been specially picked by some divine being and gifted with society’s standards. But he had actually picked out an outfit for this particular Valentines Day, which you admitted was nice, but you also didn’t mind licking your lips at such a delicious physique.       On the rare occasions that he picked out outfits, it wouldn’t be visually appealing, the guy only wore his work uniform or a casual t-shirt and a pair of shorts, or sweatpants.     Yet, today? Weirdly different.       Clad in a dark blue cashmere crewneck sweater paired with black jeans, he nervously picked at the clothing, fidgeting. You guessed he had gotten some fashion advice from one of his friends, as you also realized it was... Somewhat trendy. Chains dangling from his neck, a few from his pants as well, a designer belt... You had wondered who it was that was so gracious enough to make him hotter then he already was.     The air of his usual carefree personality was gone, which was one of your favorite parts about him, and he had insisted this morning to take you to an actual diner, which you rejected.       As soon as you turned your back to grab some more sugar, he pulled you back, hand on your shoulder. A determined look on his face that you could see even through his circular shades, clearing his throat.      “Hey- just to be sure, pumpkin... You’re not denying because you think I’m poor or some shit like that, right? I’m financially stable as all hell, and I’ll buy you anything you set your eyes on, seriously. I need to spoil you sometimes, okay?”      He spoke with a tone of nervousness, and you cocked your head to look at him, eyebrow slightly raised.      “What’s with you today, babe? You never do this sorta shit.”       Seemingly taken aback, he looked at you for a few seconds, unblinking. Wondering if it went one ear out the other, you’re about to repeat yourself before he shoves a hand on your mouth.       “I just wanna try something new, that’s all. Carry on, sweets. Need more M&M’s? I can drive to the store and get them..” kissing your exposed neck a few times, suckling at the flesh, he snickered as you gasped, and that was the end of that. ‧₊˚✩彡.     The thought never completely disappeared from your mind, instead it ran rampant. You were curious, after all. Why would perhaps the chillest and funniest guy you knew, be so scared and nerve-wrecked?      “Hey, hey~!” you hear a familiar voice ring out, and you pick up your head from his pillow that you were laying on, adjusting your eyes so you could drink in his beauty fully. He wasn’t completely in the room, his head was poking out of the door just barely.     “Finally, what were you doing? Took you a few years to come home.” casually getting up from your previous position, you hug your pillow, patiently waiting for his next sentence.      “Ah... Uh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.” he shuffled closer into the room, but he never quite came into view, the atmosphere of awkwardness was growing.      Rolling your eyes, you giggle, desperate to have the mood be carefree yet again. “You suck at hiding shit, come on, lemme see, what’d you get me?”       “It was supposed to be a surprise!” he said, exasperated, but he does it anyways.       A beautiful scent of roses wafted throughout the room, a trail of spare rose petals danced down as he strode over to the bed, a playful grin on his lips. You cover your mouth with your hands, squealing.      “Satoru! These are so pretty!” you ecstatically grab at the bouquet, the crinkling of the plastic music to your ears. You sniffed at the roses, pleasantly surprised at just how sweet they smelled. Vibrant hues of pinks and reds, small and large, a loose ribbon holding the bouquet together. Your smile is so wide, you struggle to hide it.      “Glad you like them, honey.” he grinned, taking his shades off and placing them on his nightstand. “Hold on tight, more to come, love.”      He takes a quick jog to the hallway leading to you two’s room, quickly getting out of view. Coming back just 20 seconds later, a teddybear half the size of him now limp in his hands, another ribbon around the teddybear’s neck.      “For you, my sweet.” he sings, setting the plush down onto the covers. You look at the teddybear, staring at you with beady eyes, and back up at Gojo.      “But babe, you’re my teddybear.” you cooed, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of him.      You see his facial features soften, before he immediately plants a sloppy kiss on your forehead, “Wouldn’t hurt to have another one, would it?”       You nod your head in agreement.       The chill aura seemed to vanish into thin air as soon as you nod, the silence was almost deafening. He stared at you, and you stared back, you hear your heart steadily pound in your chest. Usually he would make some sort of joke right now and then, but he seemed unusually serious, to the point where you’d be concerned.       “You’ve been acting weird all day, are you okay?-” you ask, but you’re immediately cut off. Gojo gets on one knee, and your heart races and you swear you see the light, playing with the hem of his jean pockets before pulling some sort of wrapper out.      A wrapper?      It’s a Ringpop, two flavors. Blue raspberry and watermelon, he hastily places the blue raspberry one into his pocket again, cursing as he struggled to do so, before finally repositioning.      “Will you marry me, (Y/N)?”      It takes a moment to register into your brain, for one, he was proposing with a Ringpop, but you guess that’s like him, his love of candy was absurd- but a Ringpop of all things?      You feel your face fall, and you hope he doesn’t realize. The thought was good, but it felt strangely.. Tacky, in some ways. Nonetheless, your heart is still pounding rapidly inside of you, and you’re sweating bullets now. Skin burning to the touch, you look at him, heavily breathing.      “Yes, oh my God, yes.” is all you can breathe out.       His solemn face was now beaming, eyes bright and twinkling. He seems to scoff, like he doesn’t quite believe that you said yes to such a request, but he doesn’t want to give it another thought.        Immediately diving headfirst into your face, your lips touch, and even though you had kissed him about a thousand times today, you still returned just as much passion. You felt like your whole body was about to give out, wobbling as he placed the Ringpop onto the covers.       Forgotten, it sat idly, but you didn’t care, and nor did Gojo. Hand now at the back of your neck, the other on your hip, the sound of sloppy kisses filled the otherwise calm room. They were strangely chaste, nothing sexual about them, yet they felt so fulfilling you wonder how he does it. He was unusually good at kissing, but you don’t want to tell him that- the egotistical bastard.      He pulls away from the kiss, and you whine, pulling at the collar of his sweater to come back- to please you- but he pays no mind to you. Instead, he rips open the wrapper, throwing it to the ground, pulling up your limp arm.      With a confident toothy smile on his face, he slipped the translucent pink plastic ring onto your left middle finger.      “That’s my middle.” you say, struggling to stifle your giggle. Who cared about getting a Ringpop? It was the thought that counted, right?      You still felt horrible, for whatever reason.       “I know that.” he doesn’t say it directly to your face, instead shuffling in his pockets once more, before he whips out what looks like a black cube. This time, you recognize an expensive label on it, a miniature velvety black box.       “I just.. Wanted to make sure you were committed, and that you didn’t want me for my money or some bullshit like that.” he grinned, opening the box, he doesn’t give you a moment to eye it, instead plucking it out and slipping it onto your ring finger.      Only then could you look at it, and you cover your mouth once more, tears beginning to form at the corner of your eyes. It was beautiful, truly, and you couldn’t explain it’s beauty with words. Glimmering diamonds, alongside a beautiful silvery frame- it was perfect.      “...Do you like it?” he asks, once again an air of nervousness.      Unable to speak, you hug him instead, now full on bawling. He laughs, rubbing your back, giving you another neck kiss.      “Holy shit, you’re so cute, pumpkin. Or should I say, soon to be spouse?” he cooed.     “Shut up.” you say, still sniffling, snot running down your nose.       He chuckles dryly once again, wiping your tears away with his thumb.      “If you’re not gonna eat that Ringpop, can I?”       “Zip it, can’t you see I’m crying, dummy?” you respond, still ugly crying. It was the best Valentines day you had ever experienced, and nothing could quite conquer it.          

[aros001]

First time read through light novel vol. 6. Random thoughts.

Hey, can you guess what my favorite episode of the anime is? Here's a hint: it's one apparently a lot of other Subarem shippers hate. I say f**k that! Episode 18 and this book made me love the idea of them as a couple even more! But we'll get to that in a minute.

“By conducting these negotiations, you bear Emilia’s fate on your shoulders. Naturally, everything you say affects her, and it carries the same weight as Emilia’s words. This is not a decision you should make lightly, nor are the words you say easily taken back.”

“...Ah, uh...”

“Moreover, I ask again—should you owe me in this matter, it will mean the defeat of the Emilia camp. Are you truly fine with this?”

It really brings into the focus the problem of Subaru calling himself Emilia's knight without thinking and why the actual knights took such offence to it. At best it was a gimmick with no actual meaning to him and at worst he wanted all the rewards that came with being a knight (or at least what he perceived as the rewards) and not any of the responsibility. That's basically the reality Crusch is making Subaru face; the true burden that is on the one who claims to be Emilia's representative. Being a knight isn't just a game or a fancy title. Whatever he does will heavily impact his lady's future and he never once considered that.

“You hate the Witch Cult. That’s the reason you approached Emilia, is it not?”

Damn.

“—You have not said, ‘I want to save Emilia,’ even once.”

Daaaamn. Obviously, we know the witch cult has nothing to do with why Subaru wanted to hang around Emilia, but it's really telling of his current state that that's what it looks like from the outside. His hatred for Petelgeuse is stronger than his love for Emilia.

The fact that Roswaal has twice now been absent during events that his presence could easily have prevented tragedy is incredibly suspicious. Especially during the mansion arc, where he only left the mansion during the loop Subaru had made a lot of progress in finding the shaman and thus, unlike the previous loops, could have warned him about what was about to happen. It feels like Roswaal is intentionally removing himself as to invite disaster upon his house and Emilia, likely to manipulate her and Subaru.

Priscilla is an oddity to me, because she really feels like someone I should dislike more than I do, as I tend to have an instant dislike for very bratty, entitled, and/or spoiled characters. I'm not sure what it is specifically that's lifting her up so much for me. It's not just the looks, because I've seen attractive female characters I've hated because of their brattiness (I think she and Bitch princess from Shield Hero share the same english voice actor, in fact). I think that, one, there is just this sense of fun and amusement when Priscilla's around, like I just want to see whatever she does next, and two, despite her attitude, I'm not really getting a feeling of shallowness from her. She doesn't feel like she's putting people down just to prop herself up. There is actual strength and depth to her.

Rem followed behind both of them, and he could hear noises coming from her nose every so often. Rem had a keen sense of smell, and she’d apparently picked up some kind of unsavory scent, staring at the back of the iron helm as they walked along.

Well, Al is from another world like Subaru, so it wouldn't be surprising if he also had the witch's scent attached to him, assuming his situation is anything like Subaru's.

“Don’t be silly. You’re Ram, right?”

“I am Rem... Forgive my rudeness, but where have you met Sister, Master Al?”

Rem explained how he’d mistaken her for her nearly identical older sister as she posed the question. However, Al made no reply. He raised up his one arm and touched his helm, busily poking the metal.

“What the hell’s goin’ on here...?”

Al sounded nervous, seemingly unable to process the information. The increasingly rapid tapping offered further proof.

“So you’re Rem...and your sister is Ram?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“This might be a weird thing to ask but...is your older sister alive?”

“...? I do not understand the meaning of your question. Sister is alive, as she should be.”

The instant Rem gave that answer, Subaru, who had been listening to the conversation in silence, felt goose bumps all over his flesh.

“—This ain’t funny.”

Well...that got a lot of theory wheels turning in my head. I was already wondering if Al had his own Return By Death ability, so it's certainly possible he'd met Ram before a restart, though why he'd mix up her and Rem, I'm not sure. Another possibility is that he's maybe experienced Subaru's own RBDs, so while he can't trigger the ability himself he retains his memories from the original timelines. We've seen timelines where Ram has died but also one back at the mansion where only Rem died. Of course, there's also the possibility this story is going to go full Futurama: Bender's Big Score and Al is going to turn out to be a future version of Subaru sent back to the past.

That damn whale is like something out of a horror movie. I don't tend to care for gory horror but I do like movies with unique monsters and killers, so I could easily see myself getting into a movie about a giant flying whale that appears in a dark fog and basically consumes the entire existence of whatever it eats, including its past presence in the world. It's not just memories being erased. The person themselves never was.

You can tell the story is doing a good job of connecting when I know full well that Subaru's going to have another RBD and that everything's going to be fine and I'm still tearing up over Rem basically sacrificing herself to hold off the whale and Subaru is realizing he's allowed her to die four times over.

Huge difference between the books and the anime, as I'm pretty sure in the anime Puck just killed Subaru in the room Emilia died in. There was no bringing her to the witch cult's hidden cave like there was here.

“Unable to even pass a single trial, not even facing a single Deadly Sin, bearing great expectations only to stumble over the first stone in her path...”

The madman looked down at the sleeping Emilia, sighing.

“—Ahh, you were lazy!”

Curious as to what he meant by all that. Now that I think about it, I don't think it's been revealed yet the specific reason the witch cult went after Emilia. Yes, she looks like the Witch of Envy but it that a bad thing or a good thing to the cult? Do these "trials" she was supposed to face have to do with the dragon and royal selection or the witch?

I don't think they said why Subaru can now see Petelgeuse's previously unseen hands. I think I saw a theory about how Subaru's connection with the witch grows stronger with each RBD, beyond just the scent, so he might simply has just accumulated enough EXP to finally level up into seeing them. Then again, I did love Subaru's mocking line to Petelgeuse that the witch has been "cheating" on him with Subaru, so it's certainly possible he just has more of Satella's affection than Petelgeuse and thus he gets more special perks from her.

And finally, we get to the talk between Subaru and Rem at the end. Funny thing, when I first started watching the anime, someone I knew who'd seen it before me told me that, one, it's very different from Isekai Quartet, which introduced me to the characters, so don't go in expecting a comedy, and two, that episode 18 has a Subaru moment that a lot of people hate. Given how the arc had been since before that episode and how Subaru kept falling further and further, I had no idea what was going to happen or what was worse than what he'd already done that'd get people to hate him so much.

And it turns out it's just because of a shipping war. I'm still not sure if I should feel relieved or annoyed. Yeah, I ship Subaru and Rem over Subaru and Emilia, but hating this part of the story just because he still loves Emilia? I feel like everything else except for that one line gets ignored (the line I'm avoiding saying because I don't want a bot to flag this post) and that the lack of all context except Subaru loving Emilia while Rem loves him destroys a lot of why the scene works.

There's just so much to talk about with why I love this part between Subaru and Rem. I'm a big fan of superhero stories and a classic trope I love is when things get dark and everything is brought to its lowest point...only for the hero to make a comeback. And Subaru... The man is broken. He's given up. Not only has he experienced death, failure, and futility multiple times, he's seen the people he cares about be completely slaughtered, with Rem dying, being mutilated, and even erased to protect him and Emilia, the woman he loves, dying directly because of him. He's powerless to change anything, or at least everything he does change seems to just make things worse. He sees himself as selfish, greedy, and arrogant; that he never actually cared about anyone other than himself. He's just spewing all this very justified self-hatred...and Rem counters it perfectly, not saying a single thing that isn't true about what she loves about him. Last volume had her imagining running away with Subaru, so the possible life with him she talks about isn't just something she's pulled out of the air. It's something she's considered and wants, which means it has actual weight when she turns him down.

I think another reason Rem connects to Subaru so much is because she's no stranger to self-hatred. She's also seen her own existence as a blight on everyone and everything around her. That she's selfish and terrible. And the person who helped pull her out of that state, at least somewhat, and get her to start liking herself was Subaru, which is what she's doing for him now. It's what I love so much about the relationship between these two. It's not just that they've saved each others' lives. They've helped each other in incredibly personal ways, despite the fact that neither fully knows what the source of the other's pain is. Subaru doesn't know what Rem felt as she watched Ram's horn get cut off. Rem doesn't know about Subaru's RBD and constant failures. They didn't need to. They simply knew the other needed help and they gave it, with no strings attached. It's why, despite me shipping them together, I'm not upset that Subaru doesn't return Rem's love (yet?) in the same way. There was a great bit of art I saw of the moment, and the words alongside it were "I didn't say I love you to hear it back. I said it so that you would know." Despite her still having some issues, being a little too subservient and obsessed with Subaru, I can believe Rem's love for him is real. When Subaru hated himself and believed everyone else did too, Rem told him that she loved him, not to get anything back out of it, but simply because she wanted him to at least have that to hold onto.

Rem was clearly at least a little upset at the end of their talk, and I can see it being some regret that she turned him down or that he does still love Emilia more, and I'm fine with that. She did the right thing and she is happy the real Subaru is back, but her being a little sad afterwards keeps her human (even if she's a demon).

Honestly, while I do ship them, I think both did make the right call. If or when they hook up, it should be when there's no lingering doubts or regrets they're carrying with them. Where they can have a future where they can smile together and with everyone in their lives they love and can't just abandon. Plus, I want to see Ram as an aunt to Subaru and Rem's kid! That sounds amazing!

And Subaru saying he loves Emilia, even after Rem poured her heart out to him...well, yeah, of course he does. He just found out Rem loves him and has had no time to process it (he was trying to run away with her out of fear and guilt, thus why she turned him down). If his feelings for Emilia were that easily swayed then it'd be hard to say that they were ever that strong or real to begin with, and thus what would have been the point of everything he's been through? It's not like he said it to hurt Rem. Hell, here and in the anime he sounds pretty apologetic as he says it, because he knows it'll hurt her to hear it and he doesn't want that. But it is the truth. So I'm not going to get mad at him for it. It's consistent with his character and everything he's been through and lead to great character moments for both him and Rem. What's there to be angry about?

But yeah, there was a little bit of it in the last chapter but I'm soooooooo looking forward to next volume. I remember just the feeling of hype and "F**k yeah!" going through my chest on my first watch of the anime. Subaru, after hitting his absolute lowest point, pulling himself together with Rem's help and gathering up everything he's got to fight back against the previously hopeless situation and save the day. It made all that heartache and misery so worth the wait.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gr9y77/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_6/

[langwrites]

Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I’m playing them in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer. (I organized them by how likely it is to have a true final boss who is actually as relevant to the lore as the opening cutscene. And also because I thoroughly spoiled myself about that.)

So, after sinking what the game tells me was eighty hours into a single playthrough, here’s my thoughts on the first thing I tackled.

Spoilers below the cut.

Very Early Game (Blue Lions):

It’s the Fire Emblem Dad! (I played Path of Radiance. I’ve seen this dude before.)

Hi Claude. Sorry, I’m gonna steal every single one of your peers I can catch. Same to you, Edelgard.

Dimitri is so awkward it’s almost palpable.

Aww, Ashe and Annette are adorable. Mercedes has that dead anime mom hairstyle that sets my teeth on edge, but she’s super nice. It’ll take me longer to warm up to the boys, I think.

Felix is the token “I MUST BECOME STRONGER” myrmidon character. Gotta have at least one per game, apparently.

Sylvain = Sain. Token womanizer cavalier. His support list is pretty odd, though.

Dedue = the guy who done punch things. And he *has* to punch things, because he’s slow as hell and his speed growth isn’t great.

What the fuck is that strength growth, Dimitri. What the fuck is that Charm growth.

I was so close to making him my team’s designated Dancer unit, you guys.

Beleth is gonna be their teacher and somehow I don’t imagine this going super well.

Pre-Timeskip School Life:

Once again, I regret not being able to support with characters who’ve firmly attached themselves to the other two houses. (Which is only like three people in my “gotta catch ‘em all” playthrough, but whatever.)

But I can support all the recruitables, which is...something that took me a long while to do.

The first person I stole for the Blue Lions was Caspar. The first person who straight-up joined was Flayn. Yay, auxiliary punchers and auxiliary-auxiliary healers!

Ashe, your adoptive father really didn’t need to die. You were right. It was all bad all the way down.

Flayn gets kidnapped and I fuck around for a month raising everyone else’s supports and realizing Seteth’s too distraught to train my Lance level. Dangit.

I missed the opportunity to support with Leonie entirely because her personality put me off for the first few in-game months, and it turns out you can only start her support chain while Jeralt is alive.

Dammit. Now I’ve gotta train with lances.

What’s-his-fuck over at the village sure did do a thing, didn’t he. And if he hadn’t dropped his disguise just then he could have gotten away with it.

Their scheme would’ve failed faster if anybody around this fucking monastery could apply logic to shapeshifter shenanigans.

Seriously, no one should have trusted Monica.

You vanish over the course of a year, and come back with your personality totally inverted.

Tomas/Solon had just demonstrated what it looks like when these dickbags drop cover, and then everyone subsequently failed to make the correct deduction. If they hadn’t, Jeralt would’ve lived.

Dad-stabbing: A theme of Fire Emblem games. Seriously. Check out the huge list of dead dads (which goes all the way back to the first game in the series.)

Also dead moms, but for some reason moms are less prominent in the series as a whole.

For the purposes of this analysis, we are also including every single boss who had kids. Which isn’t most of them, but god damn there are still a lot of dead dads.

Dorotheaaaaaa be my frieeeeeeend

Yoinked Linhardt after finally showering him in enough gifts to get his sleepy ass to sign transfer papers.

Swiped Marianne, Bernadetta, Petra, Ignatz, Alois (kinda), Shamir (sorta), Manuela (iffy), Hanneman (yoink), Catherine (see previous), Hilda (how), Lorenz (woop woop), and Leonie (sigh).

The Death Knight remains, for the moment, unpillaged for his Dark Seal drops. This time it was an accident: I killed everyone else in the room except for him and a priest/mage, but then that last dude squared up with Felix and died.

All the points I poured into their associated skills and their supports, however, left one big gap:

DAMMIT FERDINAND, I’M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HEAVY ARMOR. RAPHAEL JOINED UP DESPITE THAT.

(I got a B-rank support with him and he popped into my office to say he was transferring, nbd. Ferdinand’s B-rank is locked until after the timeskip.)

tl;dr: The only recruitable character I missed was Ferdinand.

Seteth and Gilbert don’t do shit until post-timeskip and Rhea isn’t playable, so w/e.

As soon as I say that, Seteth and Flayn have a paralogue. It’s a beach level. I hate beach levels and desert levels. Seteth gets to be MVP because he’s the only jerk who can fly.

They have a little speech after the paralogue level that reveals that they’re actually father and daughter, not siblings. And the whole story of this little subplot basically confirms that they’re dragons.

Neither of them transform over the course of the game, and that’s okay.

Ruh-roh, Raggy. Let’s see who’s really under the Flame Emperor’s mask--

“AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF NOT FOR--oh wait teleportation exists. BYE!”

Dimitri proceeds to thoroughly lose any chill he ever pretended to have, and I’m 99% sure the villain in question isn’t actually old enough to have caused the Tragedy of Duscur. Unless the biographies in the notes were lying.

Now, the backup dancers over there sure as shit are, but logical reasoning has its time and place.

Whatever. Time for stabbing.

WE ALREADY KNOW THESE PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF MAKING THEMSELVES LOOK LIKE ANYONE, MASKS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. THE VICTIM ONLY HAS TO DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE.

WHY AREN’T WE CHECKING THAT AS A BASIC PRECAUTION.

THERE HAVE BEEN THREE OF THESE CREEPS ALREADY.

Their name is too long and I should call them Morlocks.

But seriously, check for infiltrators.

What passes for strategy around here: Take Paladin Dimitri, plunk his overleveled ass down on a corner where all the enemies’ targeting reticles converge, and wait five minutes for all the counterkill animations to play out.

If I wanna try the same with Sylvain, he needs to be backed up by at least Annette and probably Felix. Maybe even Mercedes if she’s not already busy slinging Physics around.

Dimitri’s fine with just sitting around with a forged Steel Lance and poking holes in everything.

Beleth can do the same, but is much more reliant on dodging and not just facetanking axes.

The little “no damage!” sound effect is still very satisfying. Yes, game, my Defense/Resistance has escaped the bounds of your damage curve.

Dorothea became my Dancer unit, because despite Dimitri having twenty-eight Charm to her nineteen, he begged me not to and also is better sitting on a corner and killing everything.

Huh, the monastery is sure being invad--you know, Edelgard, if it wasn’t already really obvious that your faction is basically the “villain route” in Samurai Warriors parlance, using giant mop-headed demonic beasts as shock troops would probably give it away to observers. If they weren’t already running away in abject terror.

The principle from How to Train Your Dragon still applies: A downed dragon is a dead dragon. If Rhea didn’t want to basically get mobbed, she should’ve stayed in the air and acted as flying artillery for the Knights of Seiros with her mouth laser. She could’ve sat on top of a wall and fired with relative impunity.

Sure, some demonic beasts can fly, but there weren’t any in that cutscene and the flying ones have, mechanically, one less health meter than the landbound ones.

Also, they’re pushovers.

And there’s the washed-out creep brigade! They look like the Grimleal, but with more feathers and less of a tan.

...And there goes Beleth, off to have a five-year nap.

Welp.

Post Timeskip:

Oh good, it’s been five years. Beleth, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably at least slightly dragon at this point. Check your ears if you have a chance.

Tiki canonically napped for like 99% of her three thousand years in Awakening, ironically enough, so it’s not like dragon-people are exactly early risers.

Poor rando gets asked “what year is it” like that question is ever used outside of fiction. Beleth doesn’t read time travel books, I take it.

“oh you probably shouldn’t go to the monastery, it’s like super haunted and shit”

“sorry what was that i couldn’t hear you over the sound of me climbing up to the monastery”

Eyyyy, it’s a lance-wielding pirate.

...Hi, Dimitri. Where’d your macaroni hair go.

You know, it’s not surprising that Dimitri would think Beleth was a hallucination. He spent a lot of time yelling at his inner demons even pre-timeskip, after taking a couple of severe psychological shocks.

But he absolutely should have walked into her and been surprised when he knocked them both on their asses.

He’s been spending the last five years stabbing people, hasn’t he.

Yep.

He looks like he fell out of Game of Thrones.

Blue Lions! Rah rah something team chant. Rah rah Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen~

None of you people trained any of your skills. In five years. Dimitri you were a paladin. Did you eat your horse.

You are all getting sent to boot camp.

Hi, Gilbert. Why are you playable now all of a sudden. Why is your speed a fucking two.

THIS IS WHY MIKLAN HANDED YOU YOUR ASS.

Once again, the “plunk Dimitri’s overleveled ass down on a corner and watch people die” plan is still a valid strategy. I still don’t know where he gets all this strength (and charm). Like, goddamn.

Annette got cornered for like five turns because I was too cowardly to put her in range of a Brawler.

Then she killed him with a critical Fire.

So, I guess Felix’s remarks about Dimitri’s issues make some sense now, but he should still stop making them. I know he’s a tsundere par excellence, but still.

STop TalKing AboUT KilLing PeoPle

Warning: Sympathetic Boss Approaching.

Look, most “sympathetic” bosses in Fire Emblem kinda fall flat. The better ones are placed in the way of the player characters while they’re in the middle of a low point in the emotional arc and get utterly wrecked in a flurry of misdirected fury. Sometimes the characters even feel bad about it afterward. The worst ones are the ones who are just utterly devoted to someone who’s earned everyone’s ire by being a utter fucking asshole.

Good: Mustafa from Awakening and Shiharam from Path of Radiance. Good people forced into bad situations. Or just cornered. Henry talked up the former long after he got a Chrom to the face, and the latter was probably the best-written of the “aw, I wish I didn’t have to kill him” bosses I’ve run across.

Bad: Levail from Radiant Dawn. There is no getting around the fact that General Zelgius was a bad dude. Levail holding him up as a paragon of knightliness and swearing to serve him out of sheer admiration did not make him even marginally better.

We sure did kill Caspar’s uncle, didn’t we. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite us square in the ass. Not after he had that “this guy is a person who cares about stuff” cutscene to remind us of his pixel humanity.

I’m sure it’s fine.

Bwoop, bwoop, everyone say hello to Ferdinand and Lorenz! And say goodbye to Ferdinand, because he didn’t allow himself to be recruited pre-timeskip, isn’t recruitable post-timeskip, and then I had Felix kill him with Thoron.

Lorenz can rejoin us, though. He doesn’t count as an enemy commander once he’s been smacked down to 0 hp.

HI, DEDUE. WHY ARE YOU ONLY LEVEL TWENTY. GET IN THE BACKLINES AND DON’T TALK TO ME UNTIL YOU CAN ACTUALLY DAMAGE ANYTHING.

(Seriously, tho, I was waiting for Dedue to come back for two reasons. One: I did that paralogue of his way back in Part One and he did not get to die after all that. Two: Part of Dimitri’s epic slide into “spear-wielding mountain man who runs around killing people with his bare hands” had to do with Dedue “dying” during the timeskip. That jackass cracked a smile for the first time in ingame years thanks to the world’s punchiest bodyguard coming back alive.)

(Fortress Knight is still the worst class.)

I totally didn’t pay any attention to what, if anything, actually separated Master classes from Advanced classes other than my inability to get my hands on Master Seals. So Ashe is a Bow Knight now, while Felix made it to Mortal Savant (wtf is that name and why is the class model basically a samurai) and I spent a very long time level-grinding Sylvain’s Reason skill to make him a Dark Knight. I aimed for Gremory with all my spellcaster girls, but I admit to not really paying attention to specifics.

(I ended up with five Gremories: Annette, Flayn, Mercedes, Lysithea, and Dorothea. Bernadetta became a Bow Knight and Marianne promoted eventually to a Holy Knight. Dorothea also ended up taking Mortal Savant, which she didn’t ever use.)

(Seteth became a Wyvern Lord and Dedue eventually made it to Warrior.)

(Byleth qualified for Mortal Savant and used it precisely no times.)

(It became pretty clear that I just threw Master Seals at people whenever the possibility of promoting them came up.)

(Certification is a weird system.)

I stopped paying a ton of attention to supports around the time I realized that Ferdinand wasn’t going to be recruited no matter what I did in the final month before Shit Went Down.

Then I started paying attention again like two chapters from endgame, because I remembered some A-ranked supports meant that the characters could get paired endings.

I also stopped ignoring Cyril and started using him as an adjutant, though his stats never quite caught up to Seteth (also known as the only instructor unit I ever consistently used).

Cornelia is absolutely a Morlock plant. That is a face she just made, even in flashback.

I wish we could've seen Dimitri’s now-dead uncle, if only because I’m curious. Also, what did Edelgard’s mom/Dimitri’s stepmom look like?

Why is there always a fire level. I saw it earlier thanks to doing Ingrid and Dorothea’s paralogue, but it’s a Fire Emblem stock level type and I hate it.

Okay, yeah, this area totally got nuked. Magitech nukes, but still. It’s still on fire centuries later? Why??

Felix’s dad is a Holy Knight. Why do I have to keep his ass alive on a field when half the enemies are barely Advanced classes, never mind Master classes.

Oh right, because I want the exp for myself.

Rodrigue is possibly the single person here who can make Dimitri’s murder-bender change direction even slightly. He also gets along with his actual son so much worse than that. He’s like Annette’s dad, but with actual verbal confrontations.

There’s Caspar’s not-exactly-forgotten aunt, here to “secretly” avenge her dead brother. Dude, could you say something about that?

Three levels later: I thought we were done with the dad-stabbing. 

Felix has officially lost Too Many People in pursuit of keeping Dimitri alive. As has everyone else, frankly.

In other routes, Dimitri absolutely runs his campaign off a cliff.

Here, he turns his life around. More or less. Gotta make the choice to get better.

Time to take back the Kingdom’s capital, like we’ve not been doing for four chapters now. Finally.

Cornelia is absolutely a Morlock plant. This is like the fourth character who supposedly did a complete characterization 180 after a period of being actually useful to other people. Goodbye, civil engineer we never knew.

I think the only infiltrator who did things properly was Solon, but he still dropped his disguise for no good reason early in the game. That operatic level of drama is not a trait that helps him survive a month later. Just goes to show that the Morlocks don’t have more than one type of good judgment at a time, I guess.

I know I’m supposed to avoid the giant doom robots, but...

No, it turns out I can just have Dimitri and Beleth stand in the middle of the killzone and destroy them for fun and profit.

Ding dong the witch is dead.

Welp, time to go save the Alliance, which is getting schooled by the Empire.

HI CLAUDE.

I MISSED YOU AND YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY. And specifically in Dimitri, for some reason? I think he kinda stabbed your soldiers a lot the last time you two met, but feel free to keep being the Best Character.

Your bodyguards are top-notch, man. One of them got hit with anything over the course of the entire battle.

Your general Judith, however, necessitates Flayn using ALL of her Rescue spells just to keep her alive.

I still had to send Ashe to keep a Falcon Knight off you, but no big.

And also had to send Hilda and Petra to kill the Asshole Reinforcements to nick their stuff.

Dimitri sat there and dodge-tanked all of Arundel’s attempts to kill him until the team killed everybody else. Then Dimitri poked him and he died. Dimitri OHKOs everything except monsters now, and that’s only because they have multiple health meters.

And then Claude fucks off to become king somewhere else. Okay then. It was a nice speech, though.

Killing the Death Knight for fun and profit and now Mercedes is crying. Shit.

Doesn’t this place get vaporized in every other route?

Did killing so many Morlocks by accident lock us out of seeing an intercontinental ballistic missile?

(And it is by accident, because this route is like the only one where the Morlocks are incidentals instead of the main problem, partly due to Dimitri’s tunnel vision and partly just because they don’t drop their disguises upon death.)

Well, I guess it’s time to confront Edelgard.

It’s completely valid of her to look at the guy who was threatening to rip her head off with his bare hands and hang it from the gates of the Empire’s capital a little while ago, and then go “Yeah, diplomacy’s shot.” That Dimitri stopped being quite so all-consumingly homicidal a bit ago is not actually reason to try throwing herself on anyone’s mercy. I feel kinda bad for her, since she’s been pushed into this corner and her ace-in-the-hole allies are basically decapitated, and I stole all her potential friends back during the school phase of the game.

Also, sunk cost fallacy.

Still walloped the entire roster of the second-to-last level, down to killing Hubert with Lysithea. Hilda and Cyril killed all the bird demons.

On the final level, which starts immediately after the previous one, three characters got totally destroyed by the sheer number of mages floating around: Dimitri (whose Avoid finally failed him four times in a row), Hilda (same), and Dedue (thirded). Seteth miraculously survived taking 68 points of damage from a single attack, and then later went on to take Edelgard’s last health bar off with a crit.

Weirdly, Beleth’s Avoid was just fine. Finally let her use the Sublime Sword of the Creator and she killed most of the Gremories that took out Dimitri and Hilda.

And everybody we could save per plot constraints got to live! (Except Ferdinand.)

I’m willing to save him on subsequent routes because killing him made Dorothea sad.

Next time: Lang plays the route that screws over most of these people in service of killing the God-Pope.

[roughsexwithgaga]

Running Through The Red Lights pt.3

Pt.1 | Pt.2

Lady Gaga woke up feeling like she’d been run over by a bus. Muscles she didn’t know existed ached and it surely wasn’t because of the sex she had last night. The car accident causing her to be tossed and pulled around in the seat had put her muscles and joints through severe stress. A lot more than she realized.

The large bed was empty apart from her and Koji snoring by her feet. When Christian got up, the dog jumped into her bed in his place. She rubbed her hands over her face, and besides the muscle pain, she felt good. She watched the sunlight through the curtains and thought that she was lucky. Lucky to be alive and loved.

During their sex she had tossed out an unofficial accepting to Christian’s proposal and now when the daylight chased all the ghosts away she thought of how ridiculous the whole situation had been. He also spoiled the whole moment AGAIN. Discussing it like a business arrangement in the middle of the night. Yeah, my life is planned out but seriously Christian, she had said and pulled the covers over her head and said good night.

She put a large t-shirt and underwear on before going downstairs. Her mom and Christian were laughing over something together in the kitchen but stopped when they saw her. “Good morning,” she said and they asked her how she felt.

“Like I’ve just been in a car accident,” she replied and sat down. “Muscles aching, but OK otherwise, I think. I’m not dizzy,” she said and looked at Christian. Yesterday felt surreal. Did it even happen?

“That’s a relief,” he said while leaning against the counter on both arms. She wondered if he had been gossiping with her mom, but she didn’t think so. She pulled her legs up underneath her and started pulling the plates with fruits towards her. Her mom gave her a cup of coffee and smiled. “Well, I’m grateful you’re all alive. No matter how it happened.”

She eyed her mother. Did she sense she put the blame on her?

”I have to go,” Christian held Gaga’s arm and kissed her on the corner of her mouth. ”See you tonight.” Then he said bye to Cynthia and stepped outside to his car. Gaga watched him leave. A few minutes later she heard a motorbike rev outside and went back to see who it was.

She nearly turned around to go back inside when she saw him, but stayed put. This was her domains. “Taylor,” she muttered and felt her heart speed in her chest.

”I just missed him, didn’t I?” Taylor Kinney leaned against his motorcycle with one leg crossed over the other. He had taken his helmet off and lit a cigarette. He squinted at the sun and frowned. ”I think I met him.”

”Why are you here?” Gaga crossed her arms and was glad she put sunglasses on so he couldn’t read her face that easily.

”Nice to see you looking well, Stef.” He flicked the ashes off the cigarette. ”I heard what happened and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to literally drive you into that accident.”

”Don’t flatter yourself,” she said and inhaled while resting her palms on her lower back. So she opens up a little, Taylor thought and saw her nipples poke the stretched fabric of the t-shirt. Still allergic to bras. He silently cursed her damn fine tits and tried to get the horrifying image of Christian sucking them off his mind.

”Anyway I’m glad you’re OK. You must have the people up there on your side.” He glanced up at the sky.

”Are you?”

Taylor sighed. ”I actually came by to talk to him,” he said. He didn’t even want to say his name. ”To apologize for being a dickhead and see if we could sort the whole thing out. I figured you didn’t really want to see me.”

”Not really, no.” She thought of how he wanted to apologize to Christian, but what about her?

“Are you even upset?” She leaned forward a bit. “You seem completely indifferent.”

”Stef,” he looked at her. ”I’m really sorry, but you’re OK. What good does it do if I tear up the whole thing now. It’s over.” A long pause of silence. He observed her. Her blonde hair pulled up in pony tail. Streaks of loose hair by her temples fluttering in the breeze. Her face, completely without a flaw. He thought she really needed to stop pumping her face full of shit. Her lips were pink, the lower lip looked pouty and swollen and her cheeks sunken. He wished he could see her eyes, her most beautiful feature.

When she didn’t say anything he started talking again. ”So… I figure he had some pretty not-so-nice things to say about me?”

”He used a very colorful description, yes. One you basically confirmed in your text.” She sucked her lip between her teeth and looked to the side and he caught a glimpse of eyes from the side. She looked upset.

Taylor nodded and looked into the sun while he took one last drag on the cigarette before pinching the glow off it. ”He’s not the man you think, Stef.” His leather jacket made an insanely sexy creaking sound when he moved and she exhaled because she could nearly smell him and it made her want him more.

Neither are you, she thought. Love and hate really are the same feeling, just different sides of it. ”Was that why you hit him?”

”Basically, yeah.” He put his hands on the seat behind him and nodded. ”He called me a fraud.”

”It’s funny I’ve known him for more than a year and you still think I don’t know him – or his plans.” She made quotation marks in the air when she said ‘plans’.

Taylor looked down on his feet and didn’t point out that he managed to ghost out of their 5 year relationship without her even paying attention because the last year she was screwing the man she claimed to know so well, among others.

”I didn’t come here to fight. But you think I didn’t notice how you visited me while reeking of his nasty after shave bottled in 1942?”

She ignored the age-remark. ”Yet you didn’t say a word,” she walked closer to him and spat the words at him through her teeth.

”You wanna throw your life away on some dude who’s already enjoying the sunset of life then fine. Why should I care? What are you doing, Stef? Just think about it. Huh?” He put his helmet back on his head and mounted the motorbike. ”I’ll be in San Diego until Friday.”

”You’re right, why should you care. You seem to care an awful lot about who I’m seeing for not caring.” She didn’t want him to leave. She wanted him to regret what he said and tell her he was wrong. That he made a mistake. That he had loved her. But the more it occupied her brain, the more scared she got thinking of the times he always turned away, or pulled away from her or just acted like she wasn’t there. He refused to take part in her games and how could she misinterpret everything he ever did so wrongly.

”I thought you wanted a wild man. Come on, Stef. Tony Bennett is more rock n’ roll than that… that nobody,” he said and she heard the engine’s sharp thrusting sound before it fired up. For a brief second she wanted to stand in front of the bike, grab the handles and stop him.

Don’t you understand. You did it, you drove me to it! She wanted to scream it to his face, but knew his actions didn’t justify her own stupid actions. They were hers, and solely hers. She could’ve ended it any day. But so could he. She didn’t understand why he kept going when he didn’t want to be in it.

At least Christian didn’t pretend anything. She thought of what Taylor had said, watched him drive off and felt more frustrated than she did yesterday. Why did he come and mess her good mood up like that. She kicked the dust and swore at him.

Her mother came out with her phone and held it up like it was a beacon. “Stefani! They’re calling from the hospital. They need you to come in again.” She sounded very worried and Gaga, who had had it with bad news almost wasn’t surprised when they explained that they found something they didn’t expect to find on her scans and wanted her to come back in for further tests. Urgently.

Urgently. She tasted the word for a few seconds and looked into her mother’s eyes. “What is it?” her mother asked.

“I need to go back to the hospital.”

“I’ll go with you. Stefani? What did they say?”

She shook her head. “Just some- never mind. We’ll see. It’s probably nothing.” She ran her hands along her forehead, rubbed it and felt the headache slowly starting to pound behind her eyes.

\o/

At the hospital she sat and listened to an important doctor while she pointed at a print of Gaga’s insides and what appeared to be a dark spot inside her lower abdomen. She asked her if she had ever experienced pain during ovulation or her periods and Gaga sat there and shook her head. She then explained that they wanted to do a biopsy. “As you can see it is solid, which makes us want to do this now,” she said. There also appeared to be some scarring which could cause the passage for the egg to be blocked and make it hard ’slash’ impossible to get pregnant.

Gaga felt like she hadn’t breathed for several minutes because when the doctor finished talking she nearly passed out and discovered she had been squeezing her mother’s hand so hard it was white. White dots appeared before her eyes and she blinked several times. She inhaled through her nose and decided to close her eyes. This can’t happen now, is there seriously something that’s not wrong with me, she thought and felt her mother’s arms around her and her comforting words.

In the examination room they used local anesthetic and a long needle to pull a sample from the cyst, did a thorough examination while she tried to understand what the hell was going on. She wondered if she was going to die. What if the car accident never happened. When would they have discovered this? They hummed over previous MRIs of her that they had obtained from a hip check-up and compared them while they talked to her, but all she could do was think of how she wasn’t finished yet. I can’t die now, she thought.

Cynthia drove back to her mansion and in the car she kept talking like she tried to calm herself more than Gaga. “Listen, sweetheart. I know you’re scared, but they were mainly alarmed by the rapid growth and didn’t say-”

“They didn’t say cancer. I know, mom.” Gaga closed her eyes, hid her face in her palms and tried to encourage herself into thinking positive thoughts. She wanted answers, now, so she knew what to do next.

When they arrived home Gaga stepped out of the car, told her mom she wanted to be alone because she needed to process this. Then she walked all the way to the back of her garden and sat down looking at the sea. Everything suddenly scared her speechless. Even if it wasn’t the worst, like her mother said, they still basically crushed her dreams of becoming a mother. The one thing she thought was the meaning of life, to bring life to this planet. That desire had been whacked out of reach and she desperately reached for options.

She sat there for more than an hour and her family stood outside on the patio observing her. Talking about how it wasn’t like her to want to be alone. Cynthia and Joe were scared for her life, not as much by any disease but that she would give up and whither away. They still had hope it would be nothing, because the doctors just wanted to be thorough and after all they seemed quite positive.

When she finally came back inside there were 7 racks of clothes waiting for her and she merely glanced at them and then told Sandra to send it all back. ”But it’s-”

”Fine, keep it,” she said, walked right past her and into the room with the piano.

Sandra looked at the outfits. She decided to go over it herself. Pick enough out for one rack and then Gaga could try them on when she felt like it.

Gaga put her hands over the keys but couldn’t get herself to press them down. She stared at all the familiar black and white and felt robbed. ”I feel like I haven’t even started yet!” she shouted and for the first time that day she cried. Through her tears she looked at her phone, checked something and then tossed it on the couch, walked through the door and out to the Chevy Nova and started the car before anyone noticed what she was doing.

\o/

She drove less than a mile to the recording studio and stormed into the garden. She saw the open patio doors, and Mark Ronson’s back turned against the windows where he was sitting, playing a guitar.

Mark saw her shadow, raised his head and turned around. ”Stef, what are you-”

She went back out and stood shifting from one foot to the other in the grass when he came outside to her. He looked just as she pictured him. His patterned shirt, his tight black pants and his shoes. His perfect hair, not even budging in the breeze. And the way he always looked at her, with love and admiration and like he was stealing a look at her and was too shy to talk to her. She needed that so much right now.

“I can’t believe you’re still in one piece,” he said with his arms out.

”Are you here alone?” she asked and peeked over his shoulder.

”The others went out to eat, but I wasn’t hungry.” He smiled. ”We don’t have you cooking for us.” He squinted at her. ”Ummm, how did you know I was here?”

”You forget I’m a class A stalker.”

They looked like two teenagers. Gaga with her hair in a pony tail, standing in her converse shoes, white t-shirt and tight jeans and Mark with his boy body, skinny pants and a shirt with rolled up sleeves.

He walked up to her and his hands rested on her shoulders before he hugged her tiny frame. “Stef, I love you. You’re my friend.” His voice, thick with worry for her. ”What’s going on? You come here after I haven’t seen you in months. Are you OK?”

She loosened his arms around her and moved back, looked up at him and tried to smile, showed him her teeth in an exaggerated grin that didn’t reach her eyes. Mark thought she looked afraid. Then she put her hands on each side of his face and pulled him down. ”Oh Mark, you’re so late,” she softly pressed her lips against his cheek. ”Again.”

Mark felt her heart beat hard in her chest through her thin top. Her soft skin against his fingertips where the top wasn’t covering it. So warm. He had missed her. Her temper. Her over the top joy and happiness when making music. Her laughter and their friendship that turned into heartbreaking love for him. He was devastated when their work on her album was done and they no longer had a reason to meet every day.

But seeing her succeed so seemingly effortlessly by being her and doing the things she wanted now, made him so proud because he knew how happy she had been while they worked on it together. She had grown so much as a woman since he first met her and he thought she was so perfect, so amazing and free. She saw no limits.

Her highest heights also came with the lowest of lows. He had to sit and listen to her late night calls to Taylor all summer while they were in the studio. Her crying and begging. And then comfort her until she finally gave up and let Christian fully take Taylor’s place because her busy era was starting and she couldn’t enter it single. Mark was sidelined, without really understanding why she didn’t accept his love, or anyone else for that matter. Instead she continued to use men to fill the void in her life. All the while Mark had been there, feeling unseen.

Later he had thought it was because he was into her, that she only wanted those she had to win over. But here she was, upset over something and less than 48 hours from a car crash and storming back into his life and turning him on with her soft lips and body and suddenly turning to him. How could he say no, even if she’d dump him 2 hours later.

“Just slow down a little,” Mark whispered. “In general I mean. Stop and smell the flowers, you know.” He took her hand and made her come inside the mixing room where he had been playing the guitar. She stood with her hands in her back pockets and felt out of place.

”Come sit, tell me what’s going on,” Mark said and took up the acoustic Ovation guitar. He was just about to play it when he handed it to her. She was about to strum the strings with her thumb but froze again and Mark held back a wide smile because she looked so adorable trying but still a beginner in every way.

“It looks good on you,” Mark said.

But Gaga shook her head and put the guitar down. She bit her lip and looked away from him. It was so quiet only the humming from the large servers behind Mark was heard.

”What is it, Stef?” Mark got up again and approached her.

”Everything is so fucked up. I don’t know where to start. I feel like I’m losing control. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Or who everyone else is. I’m sick of the lies and the dishonesty.”

She wiped her red eyes and licked her lips, a tear escaped down her cheek. Her chin trembled. Mark took her into his arms, feeling like he could wrap them around her two times. He really didn’t know what to say or to make her open up so he let her cling to his shirt.

Gaga pulled his collar to drag him towards her. She walked backwards looking at his face. The vocal booth behind her had a door, she closed the door and folded the blinds and then she turned towards Mark again. ”Love me,” she said and thought screw the doctors and their ’no intercourse for 48 hours’ thing. If she was going to die who cared.

Mark’s fingers slipped underneath her top and he caressed her soft skin, kissed her cheeks and eventually her lips, felt his heart beating like he was 15 and it was the first time with his crush. “Stef,” he mumbled with a voice that sounded more drunk and British than ever. ”Maybe we shouldn’t…” he said and felt his dick grow in his pants even if he told himself no.

He put his hands on her hips and lifted her up on the tiny counter next to the door. She pulled him between her legs breathed into his ear. ”Yes, we should. I’ll tell you whatever you want to hear afterwards. I need your love now, Mark.”

He breathed faster, knowing she had him wired around her finger. His hands traveled underneath her top, rushed over her skin like she would regret it any second so he had to touch her as much as possible before she shoved him away. He held her underneath her tits, felt their round, soft shape against his thumbs and wanted to feel them, to suck and kiss her nipples when she suddenly pulled her top off and her round tits spill out in front of him.

She inhaled and unbuttoned her pants, raised her ass while resting on her hands and managed to get him to pull them off along with her shoes. They dropped to the floor with heavy thuds and she was naked and lovely in his arms. He kissed her softly, with parted lips and felt her tongue nearly wrap itself around his. Her teeth hit his and she opened her mouth more, felt the flutter in her belly and the pulse in her groins when she got more excited.

”Are you sure,” he asked and she nodded and looked into his eyes with her huge hazel eyes and he was lost. Her cheeks were red, her eyelids dark and shiny and she looked tired, but so lovely. Her lips moist and red, softly stroking against his chin while she closed her eyes and he felt her breath on his face. The corners of her mouth raised and the dimple on her right side a little more visible than he recalled as she smiled and pouted her lips at him. There was no chance in hell he would ever say no to her. He never had and probably never would.

His fingers reached between her thighs. How he had dreamed of this moment, to feel her, the soft flesh between her legs, the gates to paradise, her warmth. She parted her legs and he felt her wet creases smoothen as he ran his fingers against her. He bent two fingers and felt them slip up her slit while she pulled him closer to wrap her legs around him. He was so hard he worried he’d split his pants open any second and felt her hands on his bulge when she unbuttoned his pants. He reached down and held the shaft of his warm dick to guide it inside her.

She exhaled loudly and held his neck with one hand when he entered her. The rough penetration made her bite her lip. She bucked her hips and prepared for his next hard shove and her vagina started to adapt. It hurt, but in a good way. His thrusts were hard, slow and deep. She leaned back and he followed her. A few cans sitting on the counter next to her spilled all over the floor when she moved her hands to brace herself.

Her skin was smooth like silk underneath his fingertips and he cupped her tits, felt her hard nipples and kissed them. Wrapped his lips around one and sucked it. Heard her moan with pleasure and inhale through her teeth when he nibbled it. He licked her belly and dug his fingers into the soft flesh on her hips. Felt her grind against him like she couldn’t get enough and he understood exactly why men came running back after her like they were possessed by her.

She raised her legs and he held her waist, pulled her towards him and she grabbed the edge of the counter as she was nearly hanging with her fit, round ass in the air. He closed his eyes and felt her warm wet cunt embrace his hard cock. He was so close and put a hand on her shoulder to pull her against him, felt the orgasm approach like a rolling wave. He fucked her as hard as he could, felt his balls slam against her.

She held her hands behind her back not to fall off the counter, causing her to be immobilized and allowing him do all the work. The shiny clammy skin on her thighs, her round ass bouncing against his thighs. She opened her mouth, breathed out hard and sounded like she was stuck in a silent scream when he felt her vagina tighten around his dick.

A hard knock on the door. ”Mark? Are you in there?”

”Of fuck,” he spat out. She threw her head back, lost her balance and put one hand against the wall. She held on to the counter with the other, forced her bottom harder against him and then he came. His legs nearly cramped and he tried to catch his breath.  

”Mark?” same voice again, worried.

”Give me a second,” he grunted.

”What the fuck is going on?”

Mark pulled his pants up and looked around the floor for Gaga’s clothes. Picked up her t-shirt and handed it to her. ”Please, put something on.” He ran his fingers through his hair and his face was blushing red when he opened the door.

”I’ll be right out,” he said and then shut the door again and turned to Gaga who pulled her jeans up over her delicious butt.

”I haven’t seen you in forever.” He sounded sad. ”I nearly thought I’d never see you like this again. And then you show up here like it was yesterday we last met.” He waited for her to zip the pants and then he grabbed the door again.

She approached him and pulled his arm away from it. “Don’t leave just yet,” she whispered against his cheek. Her lips searched for his, kissed him briefly on the lips and held his face. She smelled him and pressed her body against his. Wanting to feel his safe, hard and manly arms hold her.

“I feel like I just woke up. Not from a night of sleep, but from being stuck in something that doesn’t really matter.” She closed her eyes and stopped talking. Can I stay here with you while you work?”

\o/

Mark was joined by Rick Rubin, Jeff Bhasker and two others, all of them so excited to see Gaga in the studio they almost instantly forgot about Mark’s red face when he came out from the vocal booth. Their music and creative process made her forget her own worries for the moment, she sang with them, sat at the mixing board and gave suggestions.

Gaga loved feeling like one of the boys in the studio, drank too much, too fast and had not eaten anything all day. It was bound to turn worse when she spilled a whole glass of red wine all over herself and undressed while still sitting in a chair, in front of all the guys who stared at her with gaping mouths. Not at the sight of a naked woman but at her complete lack of shyness, while Mark desperately tried to find something for her to put on. He took a t-shirt and a pair of jeans out of his bag.

Jeff asked if she wanted to put some vocals on the demos they were working on, and of course she said yes, but she was too far gone and she fucked up the lyrics over and over until Rick told Mark to get her out of the vocal booth for her own sake. ”The poor woman is shitfaced.”

Mark pulled her aside, he was frustrated, angry and sad because she was seemingly so upset over something she didn’t care anymore. He had seen enough of women who tossed everything away and destroyed themselves. He told her how unattractive it is with a drunk woman who can’t even stand up. ”What the fuck is going on? Who are you? If you’re holding Stef hostage inside there somewhere please let her out.” He tapped her forehead.

”Who said I want to be attractive,” she slurred at him and tried to light a cigarette for the 8th time. She couldn’t pull the spark wheel fast enough. Mark then tried to make her go to bed, or offered to call a taxi or her assistant or even walk her home but Gaga screamed ‘no’ so angrily he didn’t dare to.

”I can’t even fix myself,” she breathed out slowly and put the bottle to her lips while trying to keep her eyes open. ”So how can you?” She wobbled out into the garden and Mark followed her. Her lips looked parched and her face swollen and he couldn’t believe how she still looked incredible with his t-shirt tied up under her tits and his pants unbuttoned and low on her soft hips. They were too long so she walked on them and got mud all over but he really didn’t care about that.

”Yesterday I told Christian yes when he asked me to marry him,” she said looking at the velvet horizon but unable to focus on anything around her. She didn’t know why she said it. It just spilled out. Maybe she wanted Mark to tell her ‘don’t do it’. Her brain didn’t even work anymore. She couldn’t put two thoughts together.

Mark swallowed hard and felt his heart nearly wanting to escape through his throat. So now he was one of her side projects, and she didn’t come here because she realized she loved him. She was panicking. He didn’t say anything. He just stood there behind her and felt like an idiot. Of course she wasn’t single, that’s why he was late. How could he simply assume that? But he couldn’t be angry at her. He loved her. He turned around without a word and walked back inside and it took a few minutes before Gaga noticed he was gone.

“I know when I’m unwanted,” she said and crawled out to her car and sat down in the driver’s seat. She could hardly focus on the steering wheel in front of her and it took less than a minute before she passed out with her head tilted back and her mouth open. Mark witnessed her spend two minutes to get to the car less than 20 meters away and was happy the car keys were still in the pockets of her own wine-soaked jeans. It wasn’t like she would’ve managed to drive off anyway.

Mark went to check on her 30 minutes later. Torn between carrying her inside and wanting her to wake up where she was sitting to make her realize she had disappointed him. He eventually decided she looked comfortable enough and locked the car doors. No one got in but she could obviously still get out. He asked Rick if it was OK that he stayed the night, because he was worried for her and went to bed in the room closest to the parking area. You need some serious help, Stef, he thought when he twisted back and forth in the bed while thinking about her lovely, soft body in his arms and how it hurt that she took a part of him away with her every time they met.

\o/

A hard slam on the roof of the car woke Gaga up. She nearly jumped out of the seat and turned her head towards the window. Christian leaned over the car and looked into her red eyes with a face that made her feel like a fox caught in a trap with nowhere to escape. After the initial rush of adrenaline settled the hangover washed over her like a bucket of ice and then it switched to warm gut wrenching nausea and she managed to open the car door before she threw up on the ground and saw it splatter all over Christian’s shoes and pants.

”Do you realize how worried sick you made everyone?” he shouted at her.

Gaga held on to the door handle for dear life, realized she was still drunk and saw the sun barely sneaking over the horizon. It must be early morning she thought and fell forward, still holding the door handle and managing to twist it off so it snapped and she fell with her shoulder first into her own vomit and hit her nose and forehead in the gravel. She passed out immediately.

”Oh, how fucking convenient,” Christian muttered. He fetched a blanket in the back of his SUV and put it over the backseat before he went back to pick her up. He looked at her swollen face. The nose, red and twice as big, and her lips looked like she’d been kissing rock salt for two days. She reeked of alcohol and vomit and her hair could definitely use a brush. Her fall into the gravel had scraped her forehead so it started bleeding and her eyes had dark dents underneath them.

”Hey, morning, Christian!”

Christian turned around and saw Mark stand in the doorway of the white house. He looked like he had been sleeping and just woke up.

”Her family and I have been looking for her all night,” Christian said angrily. Like Mark had kidnapped her.

”I didn’t realize she ran away?” Mark raised his eyebrows over his half shut sleepy eyes. ”Wait.” He disappeared inside the house again and came back out with a pack of clothes and her car keys. ”These are hers. I’ll put them in your car.” He glanced at Christian. “What happened to your face?”

Christian looked at the white top, shoes and jeans Mark put down on the passenger seat in his car. ”My face is exactly none of your business,” he said and then looked confused. ”Her clothes? Then what is she-”

Mark raised his shoulders and scratched his neck. ”My t-shirt and my pants. But it’s OK. She spilled some… wine.” He thought that Christian could just as well have caught them in the act when he saw his face. It didn’t matter her clothes had been ruined by wine. His eyes turned even darker and he inhaled slowly like he was counting to 10. He looked tired, but Mark could smell fresh soap and his hair seemed wet so he apparently had time to take a shower before getting in the car to look for his bride-to-be. Their eyes met for a few seconds and then Christian turned around and laid Gaga down on the blanket in the back of the car.

”Take care of her, OK?” Mark said.

”Yeah, like you did yesterday?” Christian looked down at the passed out woman in the back of his car and then at Mark.

”She’s really messed up.”

”Tell me about it,” Christian muttered, slammed the car door shut and took out his phone to let the others know he found her. ”It didn’t occur to you to send her home yesterday?” he told Mark while he looked through his contacts.

”She didn’t want that. What can I do, she’s a grown up woman.” Mark kicked the weed growing between the flagstones and looked like a school boy.

”Sometimes I wonder about that,” Christian said and raised the phone to his ear. He put a smile on his face and talked briefly to another person for a few minutes, ended the call with “Yes, I’m taking her home now,” and looked at Mark again. “If she ever comes back here again, let me now.”

What the fuck, he thought, but replied “Sure,” and nodded. “But it takes 15 minutes to walk here. You can’t have searched that hard.” And then he thought why is that his business, she can do whatever she wants. She’s not Christian’s property.

Christian took a step towards Mark. “She took the damn car, she didn’t walk,” he said and pointed at the Chevy Nova.

“You don’t know her very well then. When she’s upset she always turns to music. Her piano at home or a studio. That’s where I would look.” Mark suddenly felt confident, talked with a low voice and let his dark eyes meet Christian’s in a staring contest. The older man didn’t shy away. Mark thought of how she didn’t come here for the music, but she had come to see him and felt his heart starting to beat a little harder in his chest. Why did she want this possessive man, over all the other men who would chop off an arm to be with her.

“See ya, Mark.” Christian put the forced smile back on his face, exhaled and opened the car door and got in.

Pt. 4

[littlewritingrabbit]

Happy Weekend! I thought it might never come and we’d be stuck in an endless cycle of Wednesdays and Thursdays for years. Good Lord this took forever.

So... um... the Fellowship of the Ring followed me? I’m serious, @confessions-of-a-teenaged-hobbit​ @yellow-pips​ (can I call you Pip?) and @tamsam1888​ (can I call you Sam?) thank you so much for following and I wrote you folks a thing. It has nothing to do with the Fellowship of the Ring but... anyway... I’m grateful. :)

A Waltz.

The carriage rattled slightly in the moonlit darkness of the French fields. “May I ask you something?” Gilbert du Montier, the Marquis de Lafayette, should not have been in such a state. He had attended one of the most prestigious military academies in Paris. He had grown up in a chateau surrounded by the deep greens of the forest. His distant ancestor was the fabled Joan of Arc herself! Yet-

“Are you nervous as well?” he asked.

His wife, Adrienne de Lafayette smiled at him from across the carriage. She had grown up surrounded by a copious amount of brothers, and therefore men acting skittish in the face of impending dangers was no new occurrence for her. This, as well as chickens let loose in ballrooms, cleaving apples in two with swords and some of the worst card-game-cheating in Paris, had all ceased to alarm her after all she had seen.

So she smiled, covered his hand with her own, and said “My dear, why ever would you be nervous?”

He liked having his hand covered like that. Hers was warm through thin lace gloves. He sighed. “It’s just... there are a lot of people who will be attending, and all in highest expectation of the very best of conduct of the young nobility, and I... I worry that I might not do my name justice...”

“It’s simply a ball,” she reminded him.

“I know.”

She tried again, with more conviction. “Gilbert, my dear, think of the perspective. Look-” she shifted so that she could draw the curtains from the carriage window, though there was little to see in the darkness outside. “There is an enormous sky above us, and we are bordered by forests, and then oceans, that have stayed just so since God made this Earth. The world is much bigger, and much older than Versailles, even grander and more ancient than our family. And it will still be there no matter what we say or do tonight.”

He held her hand tighter, letting a smile grow on his features. “How did my darling get so brilliant?”

“Unlike someone in this carriage, I spent my childhood in the library,” she laughed.

The world might have been larger than Versailles, but it couldn’t have been by much. As the carriage pulled between the extending wings of the palace, it stretched off to either side like a gilded, windowed horizon. There was so much lace, silk and ribbons entering by way of the front doors that it was difficult to see the people beneath the fabric.

Gilbert himself was finding it difficult to move his arms, arrayed as he was in a splendid coat of pale blue. Certainly it was stiff, and the stockings were making his legs itchy, but it was not half so bad as some of the other gentlemen who had stuffed their socks to make it appear as if they had muscles, or painted their faces until they could hardly smile. Adrienne was also arrayed formally - it was quite possible, she thought, that she had never worn a corset so tight, nor so many sparkling trinkets in her hair.

They filed in with the other young couples of the aristocracy, arm in arm partially because they were married, partially because it was reassuring, but also because they would likely be swept apart by the crowd of rustling skirts and towering hair that surrounded them if they let go. Thus the Marquis and Marquise de Lafayette made their way down a glittering corridor and into the even more extravagant ballroom.

The ornate ceiling was so high it was almost an imitation of the sky, and decorated like it too, with clouds and regal angels and mischievous-looking cherubs in corners. From there the walls were an equal balance of spiraling gold ornaments and windows where their reflections stretched out into distorted repetitions of parallel masquerades. The King and Queen were seated at the far end of the room, the grandest guests of all in layers upon layers of white and gold fabric.

The young Marquis swept himself into a low bow, Adrienne curtsying at his side. While King Louis-Auguste seemed preoccupied with the entrance of a rather large cake from the kitchens, Queen Marie Antoinette gave a genuine smile to the couple. She was, Gilbert realized, even younger than himself, hardly the age to be married, let alone be Queen.

The evening proceeded fairly well, all a pleasant whirl of waltzes, pastries, and stepping on Adrienne’s feet once or twice. Thank God I married such a forgiving dance partner, Gilbert mused.

The music finished with a flair. “I’ll just try another one of those éclairs before they’ve all been swiped,” Adrienne said.

“By all means,” Gilbert lowered his hands from their previous dancing position. “I’ll join you in a moment, but I don’t feel tired as of yet.”

“Mind your feet!” she laughed, poking him in the shoulder before disappearing between two grumbling older gentlemen and heading for the banquet table. There were fewer guests now, most had retired to the guest suites upstairs, or were walking the gardens under the moon. Some had likely found unsuspecting corners in which to kiss; the sort of thing that was frowned at during the day.

Lafayette spun on a heel, certain that there would be another dance partner close enough, and had to duck to evade a particularly large hairdo. It took him a moment to realize that it belonged to Queen Marie Antoinette herself.

“Oh my apologies sir,” she said. The orchestra was beginning to play again, this time a more old-fashioned tune. “I was just looking out for my husband,” she leaned closer, smelling overwhelmingly of sugar or lavender or something. “I’m afraid to say he is likely waging war on the pastries as we speak.”

“The desserts are excellent,” Gilbert agreed, “Though I feel I could continue dancing for a while yet.” Amazed at himself, he bowed once more, “May... may I have the honour of this dance, your highness?”

“Why certainly,” she smiled. He was beginning to wonder whether smiling was just the natural state of her expression. Perhaps royalty was trained that way, so that no matter what they appeared regal.

With enough room in the wide hall for all sorts of flourishes, Gilbert attempted to impress. There would be no stepping on the feet of the queen. They spun, hopped, and circled one another. Conversation circled as well, evidently those crowded around the perimeter of the ballroom had their eye on the queen and this boy of a country chateau who was parading around her- focus! He had nearly stepped on her gown. In his defense, it was quite extravagant. He lifted her in a half circle, the armor-like stiffness of her dress felt strange. So did his burning ears. It was evident now that people were talking.

“How are you faring, your highness?” he inquired.

“Like flying,” she grinned, “You are very good at- oh!” he stepped forwards and accidentally pinned the hem of her dress under his shoe. They both stumbled and regained their balance.

“Oh dear,” he tried to stay in time with the waltz but suddenly it seemed overly fast. He hesitated for a moment, attempted to speed up, and-

“Are we not supposed to turn at the corner?” she was right, they hadn’t. Gilbert attempted to turn too late, hesitated again, and slipped on the hem of her dress, plummeting backwards towards the banquet table. He caught himself by an elbow, narrowly missing the éclairs. The back of his neck felt vaguely painful. But that was far from the worst part.

The worst part was the fact that the Queen was laughing.

It was not a malicious laugh, nor very ill-meaning at all. Marie Antoinette was simply laughing as a girl laughs at the antics of a brother, giggling helplessly because she found the situation so hilarious.

Gilbert’s face burned. It would be better, he was sure, if she mocked him with a malicious laugh, because then there would be a chance he was in the right, or at least, she was in the wrong. But there was no denying the embarrassing truth, he looked a clumsy fool and it was something to honestly and innocently laugh at.

The queen wasn't the only one - dozens of courtiers, older nobles, anybody within a stone’s throw were all making the mirrored hall ring with their laughter. Someone pointed. Someone else whispered. Adrienne had assured him that the world was bigger than Versailles, more ancient than his name, but what good was that when he was confined within the courtesies of the palace and his name was now spoiled by his clumsy feet?

Gilbert struggled to his feet, excused himself to the giggling queen with a bow, and marched for the staircase. The ballroom seemed so long he might never reach it.

He must have, because somehow he had found his way to his room, threw open the shutters and wished with every breath of night air in his lungs that he was back home in the countryside. The thought of returning to the festivities was absurd, even the hope that this would not become a favourite topic of court gossip for the next hundred years seemed false. But worse than the personal embarrassment, the fact that Adrienne, as his wife, might be faced with the snickerings of the court was what made his stomach turn most.

“I was scared.”

Whirling around, Gilbert saw the source of the statement. Adrienne had somehow made it into the chamber and perched herself on the edge of the bed without his knowledge.

“How did... where... what...?” his voice sounded like a warbling bird, even to his own ears.

Adrienne patted the bed beside her. He was careful not to sit on her dress as he folded his legs underneath him on the soft covers. “What I meant was,” she continued, “In the carriage, you asked me if I was scared. I really was. I assume most were, even the Queen herself.” He looked skeptical. “No, truly! We are hardly more than children, masquerading as kings and queens and there are so many watching. These are trying times, with strange customs, even for a monarchy, and we are far too young to lead a kingdom.”

“Or a dance,” the Marquis remarked with a grim smile. He curled up close, resting a head on her shoulder.

“Or a dance,” she agreed. “All our parents were heroes in far off wars, we grew up in times of peace without them.”

“Well I’m glad I have you,” he said.

“No,” Adrienne smiled, “It is I who has you.” She reinforced the fact by ruffling his hair.

“I’m glad we have us,” he decided. “Otherwise it would be awfully lonely.”

They leaned back against the pillows, picking off Adrienne's gloves so that they could hold hands properly. The world may have been large, and encompassed so many miles of forest and sea, but they only really needed the small room and each other’s company to smile and talk until they drifted into sleep.

[breeeliss]

[Femslash February]: Sunlight

...so yeah this is screaming beach au so we’re just gonna do a beach au, alrighty?

Day 10: Sunlight (Alyanette + class bonding :P)

Words: 1730

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

[Previous: Flowers] [Next: Style Swap]

So...the original plan was to take a day trip to Normandy. 

Alya had been getting restless staying in the city during the summer, so she brought up the idea of going to some of the beaches along the coast. Marinette had been talking her head off about the beach since the Spring, so she figured it would be a cute date idea and something that they could handle in a day trip. Juleka and Rose had offered to tag along and bring blankets and snacks, and they were in Marinette’s bakery figuring out the details. 

But Sabrina and Chloe happened to be there picking up a pastry order, and just the word Normandy had Chloe stalking over to their table in complete disgust. Alya was bracing herself for some silly, spoiled little tirade, but instead Chloe took actual offense to the fact that they were thinking of going to the Northern beaches. 

“Normandy is so damn cold even in the middle of the summer, and the beaches down by St. Tropez are way nicer.”

“You realize that St. Tropez is like eight hours away driving, right? This was supposed to be a day trip,” Marinette muttered. 

Chloe snorted. “So? Listen, I’ll not stand around and listen to you all plan a girls’ day out at a beach that’s not even worth it. At least St. Tropez is warm and the resort beaches will treat you like royalty. Honestly, that I even have to explain this...“

“Well, uh,” Rose spoke up. “We really don’t have the money for anything like that, as nice as that sounds.”

“Yeah, you’re apparently dripping in euros, do you have any suggestions?” Alya sneered. 

Sabrina chuckled and leaned towards the table, lowering her voice just a tad. “Sorry, Chloe’s really bad at extending invitations.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “Extending an invitation?”

Turns out that Chloe’s father let her invite as many girlfriends as she wanted to St. Tropez every summer for a weekend at one of the beach resorts, and usually the Bourgeois’s had enough clout to reserve most of the beach for themselves. In the past, it had always been just Sabrina and Chloe along with a few of her father’s friends, but Sabrina promised that, as long as the rest of them were alright with spending a weekend away from home, they were more than welcome. Chloe was off to the side -- arms crossed and looking sour faced -- but muttered something about texting her father regarding extra plane tickets. 

So Marinette called up Alix and Mylene to ask if they wanted to join them for a girls’ beach day. And not even a few days later, they were all flying down to St. Tropez, plane tickets, hotel rooms, and Chloe’s platinum credit card all on behalf of Andres Bourgeois himself. 

They were all set up and tanning in a long line along the beach in the early afternoon on the Friday that they arrived. Chloe even set a timer on her phone so that they could all toast for half an hour on each side before going into the water. Alya had to hand it to her -- she didn’t like Chloe, but this was really really nice. She had to remember to convince Marinette to sneak into the hotel’s hot tub with her later that night. 

“So here’s a thought,” Alya said. “Marinette, when you become a rich and successful designer with your own label one day, can we make this our honeymoon spot?”

“Of course,” Marinette replied immediately. “So long as you also take me to New York City when you finally become a world renowned reporter and can take me anywhere in the world.”

“Hell yes. And we’ll get your hamsters so long as I can get my dog.”

Marinette held up her hand and waited for a high five from Alya. “Fabulous.”

Juleka giggled and peeked over the edge of her sunglasses. “You two are adorable.”

“Listen, I already called dibs on designing our wedding dresses. I have been dreaming about this since I was seven. Of course I have my life planned out.”

“Listen,” Alya laughed. “This girl has wedding invitation designs set up already. Planned out doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She grappled around for the sunscreen in her bag and threw it over to Marinette. “Re-do your face, babe, so you don’t burn your cheeks again.”

Marinette pouted. “I put a bunch on already.”

“Remember that time I rubbed aloe literally everywhere when we went to the beach last summer? You’re pale, you burn at the drop of a hat. Re-apply.”

“Fine, mom.”

Chloe’s cellphone went off and she snapped her fingers. “Flip ladies!”

They all rolled over onto their stomachs, and Chloe propped herself up on her elbows. “You know, as disgustingly domestic as the two of you are, you two took for-fucking-ever to start dating. I mean, Jesus, Adrien and I both tanked our bets because you took way longer than either of us thought.”

Marinette frowned. “Wait, what? You were betting?”

“Just Adrien and I,” Chloe sniffed. “I may not like you, but as a fellow sapphic girl, I can’t help but root for two ladies in love. But, you know, thanks for dragging it out for over a year.”

“It was not over a year,” Alya rolled her eyes. 

“Um,” Alix snorted. “Dudes, I kept a fucking calendar counting down the days until this happened. Kim damn near cried when you two started dating, oversized romantic baby that he is.”

“Hold on,” Marinette interrupted. “Who else was rooting for us?”

"Well Adrien and Nino threw that literal celebration party, don’t you remember?” Alya mentioned. “Which was so extra and not necessary, but whatever.”

“The one at Adrien’s place that was supposed to be a ‘lycée graduation party’?” Marinette air quoted. 

“That’s the one.”

“Well, ever since Chloe told me that she was sure the two of you were in love with each other, I’ve been dying for it to happen too,” Sabrina smiled. “It was super obvious to me.”

Rose raised her hand. “Juleka and I were rooting for you two since day 1.”

Juleka shrugged. “Rose was really invested in it. I was just glad the two of you were becoming so close.”

“Ivan noticed it sooner than I did actually,” Mylene piped in. “But once he told me to pay attention to the two of you more, I was also getting some vibes from you two. This seemed like a natural enough thing to happen.”

Marinette looked up to the sky. “Why didn’t we know this?”

“Because you two are the most ridiculously oblivious people on the whole goddamn planet,” Chloe said with an eye roll. “I mean, honestly, not hard to tell that more than half the girls in our class weren’t straight. The rest of us were all coupled off practically waiting for the two of you to make it official. The most goddamn frustrating thing to ever watch. And I’ve seen every season of ‘The Bachelor.’”

“Okay,” Alya groaned. “We were not being oblivious. We got together at a perfect time.”

Chloe snorted. “Show of hands: how many people were annoyed as hell that they took this long to get together?”

Everyone’s hands shot up into the air. 

“You guys were literally flirting at every available opportunity, but the funny thing is that I don’t think you guys even realized you were doing it,” Alix said. 

“They were so close, I’m sure it was hard for them to tell,” Sabrina offered. 

Juleka snorted. “There are none so blind as those who do not wish to see.”

Marinette pouted. “I feel attacked...”

“I think it’s more a matter of the two of you needing to make up for lost time at this point,” Mylene giggled. “We’re all just poking fun, you know that.”

“Not me,” Chloe said, “I’m straight up judging and attacking.”

“It wasn’t that easy,” Alya defended. “I was new, I kinda just wanted to get my friend group solidified without adding in any dating drama.”

“Despite the fact that Marinette is like the most aggressively bisexual person I know?” Alix joked. 

Alya covered her face with her hands. “I didn’t want to be creepy.”

Marinette shrugged. “I thought you were straight, if I’m being honest. But I’m bad at picking up vibes from people.”

“In what solar system,” Chloe exclaimed, “did you think Alya was straight?”

“I don’t know!” Marinette exclaimed defensively. “Since when are you the freakin’ gaydar expert?” 

“Since birth!” Chloe scoffed. “It’s a survival mechanism, you amateur.”

“Okay,” Rose laughed. “We’re losing track of the conversation. The whole point being, we’re just glad you two are a couple. It’s refreshing! Really, we’re all just happy for you.”

Alya smiled. “I mean, good to know we had the class support. Now I have to interrogate all the guys about this.”

“Rest assured,” Mylene said. “Adrien and Nino did the work of ranting to all the boys in class about this. Ivan can attest. That ‘graduation party’ really was a collective celebration in every sense of the phrase.”

“So tell me,” Marinette mused, staring at Chloe. “Was this an excuse to get us a girlfriend getaway because you were secretly fangirling for us on the side?”

Chloe refused to look up from her phone. “Don’t know what you’re talking about. Sounds nothing like me...”

Sabrina took advantage of the distraction and mouthed a ‘yes’ to the rest of the group with Chloe wasn’t looking. 

“Well,” Alya sighed. “We’re here for an entire weekend. Might as well start ticking things off your beach bucket list if you’ve got one. Getting some sun is done.”

Marinette clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh! We can make sandcastles later! And run along the shore! And come here at night for a walk when the sand is all nice and cool. And play beach games!”

“Domestic!” Chloe shouted. 

“Oh hush, let them have their fun,” Sabrina chided. “Making up for lost time, remember?”

“Wanna have a beach volleyball match tomorrow?” Alix suggested. “Bet you Mylene and I can kick your asses.”

“Oh, and we can all watch the sunset from the lobby of the hotel. It has all those gorgeous windows with that amazing view,” Rose gushed. “It’ll be perfect.”

“Those restaurants looked pretty fancy too,” Juleka offered. “Romantic dinner on Chloe’s tab? You should take advantage.”

Alya knocked her head with Marinette’s. “Writing all this down, babe?”

Marinette winked. “Making an itinerary as we speak...” 

[foxmanlyman]

Top 10 Games I Will Forever Adore

Ever since I was a little kid, I gamed. From small little flash games on Neopets to popular MMOs, to mobile games and old CD Roms, I believe that games will always be a part of my life. However, just like the changing of seasons, games come and go. However, no matter how long it will be, I will never forget these following games. 

No spoilers, and also this list won’t go in-depth really. It’s more of a personal journey if nothing else.

10 - Legend Of Zelda: Windwaker

Windwaker was an amazing game back in the days of the Gamecube era. It was released in 2002 December 13th in Japan originally and I was only around 4 years old at the time. My Uncle began to show me games that he was excited to see, so when it came out in late March in 2003, he bought it ASAP.  

At first, I wasn’t interested in the game and shrugged it off, but my Uncle insisted that I at least watch him play. And so, I did and became almost mesmerized by the cel-shaded graphics, the toony characters, and the whole environment of the game. 

I could never get into the original games because I never saw the point of following a  character who can't kill chickens and was just a dungeon crawler (to me at the time), but this game was an excellent introduction into what the Zelda games were about - Adventure, fighting, sometimes stealth, and action! I partially blame this game for my obsession with adventure games now. 

Still to this day, I have my save and the game, and go back on it from time to time just to enjoy the game as it were. I haven't gotten the HD remake still, but I might once my disc starts to nope out on me.

9 - Ar:PieL

Releasing around 2015, this game was a dungeon crawler with a quirk: The characters resembled real-life animals, and it had very nice character models that looked very interesting.  

If it wasn't for the game below this one, I probably wouldn't of bat an eye at it, but I'm glad I did. The powers each character had felt fluid in battle, and whether it be a difficult boss or just mobs, there was always fast-paced combat and also unique enemies to look at. Each NPC felt very unique with characteristics of animals or other things (like the nurse which looked to be similar to a marionette). 

I know, I keep saying that everything looks unique, but it really does. It has a fairy tale vibe to it, it's bright and colorful and chooses to have their darker moments when it does. It's one of those games that makes me want to learn Korean just to read what is going on in the story.

Currently, the game is only out for Korea and Japan, but I hope it does come to NA one day or other places because it's a nice gem in dungeon crawling games. 

8 - Rusty Hearts

Before I even poked Dungeon Fighters Online, I looked at Rusty Hearts that came out in 2011 due to the style of the game. Honestly, I don’t remember much from the game except the dark environment and fun fighting, grinding room through room and eagerly waiting to see the next step in the story. 

Unfortunately, it closed down 2014, but some people are bringing it back potentially soon. I can't wait until it comes back to feel the nostalgia and the game that began my love for dungeon crawling games in the first place, because for such a long time I just didn't like them and never gave them much a chance. 

7 - Momodora Series

Created by r_rdein , The Momodora series in most cases begins in a similar scenario: things are going down and a sacrificial maiden must come to the rescue and save the day in a nutshell. Before it was more pixel-ly, but in the newest game, the graphics are a huge step up. 

Combat is simple, but you need to know when to dodge and when to strike or it could cost your life in the game. Each game has something a bit different, but as you play through each one, you can see the quality of games going up relatively well. The difficulty and world-building in the newer game were a nice sight to see, and the earlier games were very difficult but fun and left me a sense of accomplishment with every victory. 

Each story was very fun to go through, and I hope there will be more added in the Momodora series, or maybe even a remake of the older ones in the style of Reverie Under The Moonlight. The game’s story and the premise was so simple, but at the same time said so much.

6 - Animal Crossing Series

Oh boy, this takes me back. When this came out in 2001, my Uncle got this and said we could live in a town together when I grow up. Fast forward to 2004, where my Uncle was preparing this town and basically getting a bunch of Bells, almost everything in the town was spic and span. After realizing how much I was getting into adventure games and cartoony games like Windwaker in 2003, he decided it was time to show me this bad boy.

At first, I'm going to be honest. I didn't see the point of the game. It was boring, just planting flowers, working for Nook, and designing your house and clothes and whatnot. However, I kept playing it because my Uncle said it was a relaxing game. When I was upset, I went on and calmed myself down, and suddenly I started getting invested into the characters and environment. When people moved out, I got sad and promised to write them, and I grinded to get weeds out of the town. When the new additions came after, and my Uncle and I played the next one on the DS, it was so cool to catch butterflies and fish and just have a relaxing session from the usual violence or fighting. 

But then it would be the last Animal Crossing game I would play with my Uncle. I still go to the original game still and fix the town like my Uncle fixed it back then, and in the DS game I fix both towns. My 3DS game was stolen (along with the 3DS), so I need to get that game again, but this game will always be bittersweet and make me happy to be living a simple and happy life... Until Resetti yells at me for forgetting to save. 

5 - Harvest Moon + Story of Seasons/Stardew Valley

As I got into more life-based games, Harvest Moon came to the rescue and allowed me to make my own farm and eventually raise a family. The town was filled with a lot of memorable people - specifically the goddess and also the mayors in the games. Each day was tasking and balancing everyday work and social life felt almost as hard as real life!

The sprites were so adorable, and I loved when they helped out on the farm, but as the later editions of the Harvest Moon franchise came out, the towns began to feel...Emptier... The NPCs a little less memorable. This is where Story of Seasons and Stardew Valley came along, and brought what I remembered and loved about Harvest Moon. In Stardew Valley, it felt a tad more depressing, but both games were a breath of fresh air with their own quirks to stand out and also be fun.

I hope Harvest Moon brings back the feelings that I felt before, because I still like to play the games - whether they be 3D or Pixellated.

4 - Silent Hill 1-3 (3 Specifically)

Showing up in 2003 was a beautiful game I wasn't allowed to play until I was 8 years old. Everyone will tell you most likely about Silent Hill 2 being the best game in the Franchise. I agree, the second one was amazing, but my personal preference favors the third game specifically because of how it connects Silent Hill 1 to their game. As I said up there, I won't spoil, but the imagery and the whole feeling is genuinely frightening and scary, and emits a true sense of danger and paranoia with it's soundtrack, monsters, and even grim cutscenes. The endings are very nicely made along with bosses in the game. 

Silent Hill 2 was a great game as well, but the issue with it was that I didn't see an outright connection with the first game. Where the first game told a narrative that was finding your daughter (I'll leave it at that), the second felt more like a question of morality while having self-discovery. Maybe it's just me, but how Silent Hill 3 tied in to the first game is almost seamless after you play through and realize what's truly going on.

 The graphics to this day look great, and will forever inspire the horror enthusiast inside of me. As for the HD remake of the game... Er... I don't like to talk about that. It didn't exist guys, mmmkay? 

3 - Nier Automata

Woah, a 2017 game on this list? Why so recent?

The Nier series and mixed two of my favorite things: hack-and-slash combat and bullet hell elements. In the newest game, NieR: Automata, it just improves upon that and with the many things I can't give away because everything I want to say spoils a lot of it. It feels like a true steam/cyberpunk game and I don't feel awkward going through hacking games and hack-and-slash combat. The world is small, but is also dynamic and changes so much.

You grow a connection to the world it built, and it questions morality and duty and a lot more regarding humanity, individuality, fear, companionship... Oh, so much I want to tell you about this game but can't. Many will get turned off by the bullet hell mechanics, as well as the style and the appearance of the characters. If you give this game a try though, it's such a trip and I can't wait for the DLC that’s coming out soon~

Why I put this game instead of the original Nier here is solely due to how many questions it put on my morality and humanity, and I felt so much of a connection to this one more than the previous game.

2 - Phantasy Star Online 2 (And other Phantasy Star Games)

Here’s to a game that will never come out in NA! With SEA's server closing down and NA's continuously being delayed, it's more than likely this will never come out officially for us. However, the JP game is there and a tweaker to give us the ability to play and understand most of the game is almost like a breath of fresh air. 

The game originally game out in 2012, and what got me so immersed in it was how beautiful the game looked to me. A lot would argue that the game looks outdated compared to games that came out now, especially with hands not having bones or animations really, but you can make a truly different and special character and switch your class at anytime. You aren't bound at all to a class, and there are so many emotes and powers to use. Each weapon is a different playstyle, and you can achieve weapons you can use even if the class isn't your main.

Add to the fact the game is literally an alternate reality and more things story-wise I can't go into right now, it's like a dream game for me. Bosses are immense and tough, and just recently they released level 80 to get to, and the way to uncap yourself from the level before is rather challenging.

In the other games, like PSP, I enjoyed the lore and going to other planets, acting like a galactic pirate CAST (a robot). You can design your room, listen to music, and there's so many collabs and fashion to douse yourself in, now a battle arena, challenge miles, and just a lot to sink your teeth in for a F2P game.

Runner Ups: 

Black Desert Online- 

A beautiful but heavily grindy game. The combat is probably the best thing about this game, but a lot of things that has happened still leaves me slightly cautious about the publishers/devs. 

 ArcheAge-

Very original and a great class system, and you could make your own music and sail. My favorite was the ocean creatures lurking in the depths of the sea and surpising you! Similar to BDO, the publishers and devs made me cautious about the game and their business practices left me saddened. 

 Dark Cloud 2-

A forgotten gem to many, but got me so interested into time travel and effects from past-to-future events. The story and characters were so different at the time too, and was a trip for me. 

Touhou-

What got me originally into bullet hell games. The characters are enjoyable to see, the graphics don’t kill my eyes as they spray bullets into my face, and the best girl was in that game: Cirno!  

and Amazing Island-

It’s super mario party mixed with pokemon and you could make a lot of variations in the monster creation. I appreciated the game a lot and hope it pops up as a PC port similar to Jet Set Radio.

1 - Mabinogi

 What? How is a game from 2008 in first place you ask?

The year was probably one of the worst years for me in my entire life, but still I was drawn to this game. It was early 2009, and I came across this weird game called "Mabinogi." I had no idea what it was about, but someone from Talesrunner suggested it to me. Just at the character creation I felt excited and began my story for my character: An adventurer to save Erinn from all the evil-do-ers. Bear with me, I was a kid at the time. It began with a small roleplaying adventure, but suddenly grew into more than that. Almost like a second life.

As the years continued on, they added so much to the game like guns, ninja gear, a battle bard, things that wouldn't fit anywhere but fit in this game, and you weren't limited to a class. You could learn and do almost anything, and customization kept getting better as well. A large heap of my friends came from this game, and I could never find something to fill the gap that Mabinogi leaves in me every time I try to quit. It keeps bringing me back because of how different the game felt. The story went from cute to intense to weird to a... Shakespeare play? (Yes, that was a thing) There was just so much packed into this game.

 When Mabi 2, or Vindictus was announced, I was hoping a revamped version of Mabinogi. Instead, we got... Well, what you know of Vindictus: dungeon crawling fighting game.... A good game, but not at all like the Mabinogi I know and love. 

At the moment, a game named Peria Chronicles looks to be the game that might be similar to Mabinogi in some ways, but I'm not truly sure. I genuinely hope that a game like Mabinogi, or a revamp of the game with new-gen graphics shows up and brings the same amazement that Mabinogi brought to both the child and adult me, and I will forever love this game, as it has me in such a tight grasp. 

Well, that was my list for my top 10 games I will forever adore.  Thanks for reading!  This was genuinely so hard to make, because there's so many games I wanted to include into this list (like Portal, for example, or even Nights). However, these games mostly made it to the list because it made a deep personal connection and helped shape me or make me question myself, and I'm happy to be playing these games. I hope that more beautiful games come out, and that there will be more games that will influence and shape me even more. 

Do you guys have any games that imprinted on you so much? 

[entergamingxp]

6 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Playing Half-Life: Alyx in VR

March 23, 2020 1:15 PM EST

After a long, long wait, Half-Life: Alyx is finally bringing us back to the world of Half-Life. Here are our tips to get the most out of it.

It’s not an understatement to say that it’s been a long, long, long wait for a new Half-Life game, and thankfully Valve has finally delivered with the highly-anticipated Half-Life: Alyx. With the game’s release today, everyone will get the chance to dive back into the world of Half-Life through the eyes of Alyx Vance, and more importantly, utilizing virtual reality to make it all feel that much more real.

With the game releasing today (and our full review out now), Half-Life: Alyx presents a unique experience for both longtime Half-Life fans and VR players. Technically-speaking, it is one of the most impressive and fully-realized VR games that has released to date, and gives Half-Life fans a new experience in the series that is built entirely from the ground up for VR.

Whether you’re new to the series, new to VR, or (like myself) a longtime fan that is eager to see what Valve has in store, here are a few tips to help you get the most out of playing Half-Life: Alyx.

Find the locomotion settings that work best for you

Before you get too deep into the experience of playing Half-Life: Alyx, one of my first recommendations would be to spend some time in the beginning area of the game (the first segment in City 17), pause the game, and just go through the settings. While the game itself will take care of visual and graphical settings automatically based on your hardware configuration, you should spend some time in the game’s locomotion and controller setting menus. Thankfully, the starting area doesn’t have much happening in terms of action, giving you plenty of time to acclimate to playing in VR.

As a VR game, Half-Life: Alyx supports a number of different configurations for both gameplay and what type of locomotion you want to use to move Alyx throughout the world. In terms of play style, you have the options of playing standing up, sitting down, or utilizing room-scale VR to completely immerse you in the experience. Likewise, for locomotion, you are able to use either continuous motion (like a traditional FPS), blink (move your character instantly), or teleport (seamlessly move Alyx to a new area).

If you’re coming to the world of VR relatively new, it’s important to get a feel for what systems work best for you; this depends on your tolerance for motion sickness or disorientation. Personally speaking, I don’t do well most of the time with standing up and playing a VR game where there is a lot of movement. So, the best system for me in Half-Life: Alyx was playing sitting down and using continuous motion with the Oculus Touch controllers. To me, this both helped avert motion sickness and basically felt like playing previous Half-Life games. However, if you have a higher tolerance and have the space for it, going for either standing play or room-scale VR will definitely let you get the full experience Valve has to offer with Half-Life: Alyx.

Take breaks while playing

This is a pretty standard rule of thumb for most VR games, but especially in the case of Half-Life: Alyx. With the game taking about 10-15 hours to complete (I finished it in 12 hours), it’s a lengthy experience compared to the shorter play sessions most VR games typically offer. If it helps to keep track: Half-Life: Alyx has 11 chapters that are each roughly an hour to 1.5 hours.

With the game broken up into this chapter structure, playing for an hour or so (until you get to the next chapter) gives a good opportunity to take a break and give your eyes a rest, as well as warding off any discomfort or motion sickness. While reviewing the game, I was able to play Half-Life: Alyx for roughly 2-3 hours pretty comfortably during a session (since I was played seated), but your mileage may vary depending on how you are playing and what your VR set-up is.

That said, even though it’s easy to get sucked into the story and world of Half-Life: Alyx, be sure to give yourself a chance to take a break for a bit before diving back in for more.

Explore every area thoroughly

The Half-Life series thrives on immersing players in its world and using the environment to tell its story, and Half-Life: Alyx is probably the best example of this yet. Using virtual reality, the storytelling moments and world-building are really given a chance to shine, aside from just being a stellar showcase for what VR can do in a narrative-driven game.

That being said, be sure to give yourself a chance to explore each area in Half-Life: Alyx, as you’ll find a ton of smaller details and moments to flesh out both the environments you are walking through and the greater Half-Life universe. There are some particularly memorable setpieces that you’ll want to spend some time going through and soaking in all the details, though I don’t want to spoil anything.

Most of all, taking time to explore each environment and poke around is crucial to collecting ammo and other supplies that you’ll need along the way. This is especially important for resin, which are small pieces of cylindrical ore hidden in the environments that you can collect and use to upgrade your weapons over the course of the game.

Be observant if you get lost

Thankfully, like its predecessors, Half-Life: Alyx progresses in a linear fashion, so the game funnels you through to new areas pretty clearly and efficiently. There are only a few instances where you’ll get to areas that might be a bit more open or that you may have to backtrack a little. However, if you find yourself lost or unsure where to go, just try looking around and taking a keener eye to things. In particular, look out for objects or items that are yellow — generally, those will help point you in the right direction for either areas that you need to go in or objects that you might need to utilize.

If you’re stuck on a puzzle or some other kind of environmental challenge, make sure to take an extra look around in case there was something you missed; this might be a hidden switch or another item behind another object. Valve makes full use of what VR can do in Half-Life: Alyx, so be sure to poke around and play with objects. Likewise, if you truly get stuck on a puzzle for a longer period of time, occasionally Alyx will ask Russell for a hand to figure things out, giving a helpful clue or hint of what you need to do next.

Try to conserve your ammo and supplies

Half-Life has always had elements of survival-horror to it (look no further than Half-Life 2‘s Ravenholm level), and Half-Life: Alyx continues that tradition with some harrowing segments that will test your stress levels. Even when you’re faced with a barrage of headcrab zombies or Combine soldiers, the most important thing is not to panic, and to try and limit how much ammo you’re using at a time.

Generally, Half-Life: Alyx will give you the ammo and supplies that you need at a given time, but there were definitely a few situations that I ran into while playing where I was running short on ammo, so be conscious of how many shells or cartridges you have for the pistol, shotgun, and Combine SMG. My suggestion: make sure to take advantage of explosive barrels in the environment to take out groups of enemies, or in the second half of the game, make use of grenades, which you’ll be able to find an abundance in some areas.

Likewise, each enemy has their own unique “tell” of when they’re getting ready to attack or when they’ve been eliminated, making it easy to both identify which enemy you’re about to face and when the best time to take them on is. Once you encounter them, you’ll know immediately the best ways to take on enemies like headcrabs, zombies, barnacles, and Combine soldiers and the most effective ways of eliminating them.

Use the game’s physics and VR to your advantage

As a VR game, having the ability to freely move around the environment in Half-Life: Alyx and interact with objects has its advantages that other games wouldn’t normally offer. Coming from its predecessor Half-Life 2, one of those elements, in particular, are the ways that you can use the game’s physics engine to your advantage in combat, exploration, and puzzle-solving.

Alyx’s pair of gravity gloves are especially important in Half-Life: Alyx, as they give the ability to pull in objects from afar, even from some longer distances. This can be used to your advantage in a number of ways, from grabbing hard to reach collectibles, ammo, and supplies, to more combat-heavy purposes like grabbing an explosive to throw at an enemy. You’ll also need to use them for a variety of puzzles that you’ll come across in the game, especially in instances where grabbing crucial items for your next objective might require some tricky physics manipulation to accomplish.

Given that it shares a lot of similarities with Half-Life 2, there are many moments where you’ll be able to utilize the physics engine to help you out in tough situations. With tons of objects around each environment, don’t be afraid to get crafty with how you use objects; this can range from makeshift weapons to tools for puzzles. Also, remember that gravity can work to your benefit, like one situation where I delightfully dropped grenades from above on an unsuspecting group of headcrab zombies. *Chef’s kiss*

Half-Life: Alyx is available now on PC through Steam, and supports Valve Index, Oculus Rift, HTC Vive, and Windows Mixed Reality.

March 23, 2020 1:15 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/03/6-tips-for-getting-the-most-out-of-playing-half-life-alyx-in-vr/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=6-tips-for-getting-the-most-out-of-playing-half-life-alyx-in-vr