#-that something like red dead redemption does. and fucking red dead was EXCLUSIVE for a long time

[zehecatl]

holds your face so fucking gently please leave reviews for indie games. please. every single review legit counts, especially if the game is small enough, and you don't even gotta say much if that's the problem!!

like, anything from a long ramble to a simple 'it was good' matters, because steam (and probably also the Other Ones) uses an algorithm. so the more reviews, the more exposure, the more money the dev team gets. like, please. please. leave a review. throw your small indie dev team a bone

[splat-dragon]

Request: What would Low Honor Arthur, High Honor Arthur, John and Dutch be like in Rut?

The old post can be found here

High Honor! Arthur

When he's in Rut, you better be ready for the loving of a lifetime. 

He loves you so, so much, and he wants you to know it. 

He'll constantly compliment you, tell you how much he loves you, how much he adores you, every little thing he loves about you. 

To be honest it can get a bit old, especially if you want him to talk dirty. Somehow his 'filthy slut' turns into 'my beautiful Omega, mine, only mine' 🤷You just managed to land that one Alpha who gets gentler during his Rut. 

Roughness will, unfortunately, have to remain Heat and daily life exclusive.

High Honor Arthur prefers to keep you as near to the camp as possible, usually setting up a tent with the softest cot he can find, or just covering the ground in a heap of blankets, so he can still hear and smell his pack. He feels a lot better knowing that his Pack is nearby, that they can come running if something happens and you're in danger or hurt or need help or, or, or

He's a ridiculously attentive Rutting Alpha. All he wants to do is bring you pleasure, and he has been known to come just from pleasuring you with his mouth.

When he does fuck you, it's slow and gentle. He savors each movement, the press of your skin against his, your scent in his nose, the pleasure, setting his teeth against your neck but not biting down.

When he knots, he's careful. Curls around you when he feels it coming on, doesn't pull out except for aborted bucks of his hips to keep from pulling on you as he swells. And once you're tied, expect to find yourself on his chest, stretched out while you both doze.

Once he's pulled out of you, he almost always slides you up to straddle his head, licking you clean before the next round, not stepping until you're clean as can be and sobbing from over sensitivity.

 Low Honor! Arthur

Low Honor Arthur is the randiest fuckin Alpha this side of the Atlantic ocean. 

You can bet you're gonna be stuck in bed, not allowed to get up except to hit the bathroom, and even then he'll be grumbling.

He's probably the most possessive Alpha, too, and drags you into a cabin he's found not far from camp, to keep you out of hearing of those other Alphas—he'll be damned if they get to hear you! 

Every waking moment that isn't taken up by eating or sleeping, he's on you, in you. Growling in your ear and filling you up. Even when he's spent and soft, his knot gone down, he'll stay inside, grinding up into you and talking filthy into your ear.

Low Honor Arthur? All about the pups. He's gonna fill you with his pups, make you his, so every Alpha who looks at you knows you're taken. And as soon as you've had your pup, he'll fill you up again, and again.

Unlike High Honor Arthur, he isn't embarrassed when the fog goes away. He knows their lifestyle isn't conducive to a family, but he does want to have pups with you… Even if it's not quite to the level In-Rut him does.

Rutting Low Honor Arthur prides on feeding you. He'll be fucking into you and shoving a peach into your mouth, and sneaking out while you catch some desperately needed sleep and return with a rabbit, proud to provide for his Mate, all-but forcing it down your throat when you wake. 

And Low Honor Arthur never lets you drink normally. That would take too much time, so he fills his mouth and kisses you as he fucks you, making you drink from him. 

 Dutch

Dutch always wants to show you off, but when he's in Rut? It's turned up to ten.

He has a stash of things he's saved up from heists and robberies that he gives you something from every once in a while.

When he's in Rut? It's emptied. Rapidly. You'll be buried in gemstones and finery, and he needs to see you in them, fuck you in them, hear your new necklaces click together as he jolts you back and forth.

And he's picky, too. If he doesn't think his stash is up to snuff, Hosea, Charles, Bill and Arthur have to keep him from going out right then to steal you some that are good enough for you.

He doesn't keep you locked away, although he'd really, really like to. But he has his duties to the Pack, and can't seclude himself for a week or more. So he keeps you at his side, where he can scent you and hold you and grind against you when no one else is looking.

If you slip away from him, he'll appear out of nowhere, glowering at whatever Alpha is close to you, unashamedly kissing you and nipping at your neck. You're his, and they need to know it.

When he can't control himself anymore, or he can excuse himself to bed, he hauls you into his tent. He's attentive, focusing on your pleasure before his, leaving you a whimpering puddle before finding his own. And he's going to make you loud, make you scream, so everyone in camp can hear you. 

 John

Can John be called human when he's in Rut? 

No, no he can't. 

Usually the Alpha is the caretaker, both in Rut and when their Omega is in Heat. He's an… Okay caretaker when you're in Heat, but you have to do all the work during his Rut. 

Honestly he could barely be considered sentient during a Rut. He stops processing things, wakes up and stays sprawled out, whimpering from the discomfort of his Rut and fucking the air, or his bed under him, in hopes of some sweet, sweet friction.

You have to feed and water him. Press food (soft stuff, unless you're trying to kill him, he'll chew once there's food in his mouth but lazily) into his mouth, pour water passed his lips. Honestly it's better to just make some soup and feed him that so you don't have to keep track of how much he's been fed and watered in a day.

He can smell you, and will constantly be giving little aborted whines, desperately trying to get you to come here but unable to get his thoughts together enough to put them into words. Just… Be kind and get things taken care of so you can put him out of his misery.

Touch him, though, and he'll grab you, wrap around you like an octopus and just start rutting mindlessly, twisting and pushing you until he's mounted you. 

You can bet your ass he cries when he finally pushes in, sobbing nonsensical "thank good feels you oh oh oh" as he licks along your spine, mouthing at your neck.

Usually you end up with a raw neck and shoulders, he chews on you like a dog with a favorite chew toy. He loves biting the nape of your neck and holding you in place as he begins to knot, jerking you back as he slams into you, before collapsing on top of you in pleasure and sending you both crashing down. 

Pleasure? All his. He can't focus on getting you off so you either have to hope that you can get your arms free enough to take care of yourself, or that he's in the just-right position to hit your pleasurable spots. Usually, you'll be thanking God that Omegas can get off by being penetrated and bitten. 

[aq2003]

today is international fanworks day, heres a list of some of my favorite fics

-star wars

The Silent Song by Eirian Erisdar When Qui-Gon Jinn is told to take a new padawan, the Force pushes him towards a certain initiate - but when Qui-Gon is told that Obi-Wan cannot speak, he hesitates. And all the while, Palpatine moves in the shadows... 

A Trophy, Nothing More by solojones After killing Obi-Wan Kenobi in 'A New Hope', Darth Vader takes a moment to reflect on what he's done.

Adagio by ruth baulding A slow movement, in a minor key, set on Tatooine post-Mustafar.

The Weeds in the Wilderness by ealcynn A man wakes on a cold and desolate moor. He knows he is hurt. He knows he is alone. What he doesn't know is what he is, or where he came from. He doesn't know even his own name. But there is something else that this man knows, and that is that if he doesn't get help soon, he is going to die. And on this strange new world, there are so many dangers.

Teachers by Selena "Remember, Anakin, the master learns as much from the padawan as the padawan learns from the master." Eight lessons Anakin Skywalker learns through Ahsoka Tano, and one Darth Vader does.

one door closes, another opens by isabilightwood Ahsoka runs through a portal in the Lothal Jedi Temple, and finds herself seventeen years in the past. Only to find everything is slightly different - her seventeen-year-old past self was just executed, Obi-wan is missing, and Anakin fell eight months early, prompting Order 66 just after her arrival. With only her questionably useful knowledge of the Empire as a guide, Ahsoka finds herself helping to build a rebellion from scratch. Again. But this time, with a few more Jedi left in the galaxy. Some of whom could cause more problems than they solve.

Reprise by Elfpen Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. Part 1 of Reprise

Hard Deviations by flute25 “The snares of the world were its ways of sin. He would fall. He had not fallen but he would fall and surely, in an instant. Not to fall was too hard and he felt the silent lapse of his soul, as it would be at some instant to come, falling, falling, but not yet fallen, still not fallen but about to fall.” James Joyce - Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man Obi-wan Kenobi goes undercover, fighting a battle against Dooku, the Sith, and himself. Takes place during the Rako Hardeen arc. Part 2 of Divergences

Drifting Starlight by Pandora151 Just before the fateful Battle of Naboo, Qui-Gon Jinn is brought to the future, to the Clone Wars. He doesn't know why or how, but he knows one thing for sure: He never, in a million years, expected the galaxy to end up like this. Part 2 of The Journey of the Lights

-mcu

for good by Madelinedear "Sorry, May, we can't all be best friends with a celebrity.” May opens her mouth to retort reflexively, the words 'we aren’t even friends' on the tip of her tongue before she closes her mouth. Because they are friends, now. They’re way past that point. Oh my god, she thinks somewhat hysterically. Tony Stark is my best friend. (or; Tony Stark, May Parker, and the road to something like friendship) Part 1 of call you home

Exclusive by copperbadge Heroes In Manhattan: From Captain America's Hidden Talents To The Truth About The Hulk, We Debunk The Myths And Expose The Daily Lives Of The Avengers. Part 1 of Magazineverse

Watch Our Souls Fade Away by GloriousBlackout Nebula and Tony struggle to come to terms with everything they've lost as they make the journey back to Earth. Takes place immediately after the events of Avengers: Infinity War.

the rattle of their hearts by iron_spider Tony deals with the aftermath of Infinity War. He needs to get things back to normal. And Peter is an essential part of normal. Part 1 of rattle universe

home training by theformerone T'Chaka takes Erik back to Wakanda. Erik is a problem child. Part 1 of erik stevens, prince of wakanda

We've Made It This Far, Kid by EmAndFandems Tony's just trying to protect the kid from SHIELD. Why does everything have to be so hard? Meanwhile, Peter's biggest problem is buying movie tickets, until he gets a harsh awakening.

the spider-man conspiracy by tempestaurora  WHO IS SPIDER-MAN? The screen showed Peter Parker, sixteen years old and determined to prove the identity of Spider-Man over the course of the three-part documentary he was making, unknowing that it would become viral within days of the first part being released. Behind the camera, way off screen, was Harley Keener, Tony Stark’s other prodigy child, grinning like crazy as Peter started the documentary. Only a few people knew what was to come, and those few people were about to have a great few weeks. “My name is Peter Parker, and with the help of my friends, Ned Leeds, Harley Keener, and my Aunt, May Parker, who provided me with a lot of red yarn for this project, we’re going to uncover the identity of Spider-Man.” OR "what if peter just decided to fuck with everyone who didn’t know he was spider man and make a documentary about him trying to uncover the Truth." Part 1 of the conspiracy kids

Below Freezing by aftersoon (notboldly) When Rhodey crash lands in the Himalayan wilderness, it tests more than just his survival skills.

-marvel 616

Resurrection, Reconstruction & Redemption by Elspethdixon, Seanchai Doom brings Steve back from the dead. Hijinks ensue, some of which might vaugely be considered plot. Part 1 of Resurrection-verse

Winter Is All Over You by Kiyaar Tony can't remember why he's running.

Sea Stars by Muccamukk Summary: Steve comes back to life somewhere entirely unexpected; Tony doesn’t remember being a hero; something is rotten in the province of British Columbia, and the 2010 Olympics are doomed.

(Not So) Lonely At The Top by foldingcranes Summary: Riri has a bad day, and Tony tries to be An Emotionally Available Adult for her. It doesn’t go so bad.

Emanata (The Comics Will Break Your Heart Remix) by teaberryblue Summary: Steve Rogers has the opportunity to fulfill his childhood dreams of becoming a comic artist when eccentric billionaire, superhero patron, and obsessive comic enthusiast Tony Stark offers him a job drawing Iron Man. But Tony Stark has no idea that Steve Rogers is really Captain America, the newest member of the Avengers. And Iron Man has no idea that Captain America is really Steve Rogers, up-and-coming comic book artist. And Steve doesn’t know what to do about the fact that he’s falling head over heels for them both.

Changeling by Sineala Instead of deleting his entire brain and reloading from a backup, Tony attempts to erase just the SHRA database from his mind. As Steve later finds out, this is unfortunately not what he actually did. Part 1 of Changeling

Zero Sum by Crait Did you do your best, Anthony? And did your best only make things worse?Series Part 1 of Stark Disassembled

-jojo’s bizarre adventure

nothing like the sun by succubused

“All Jotaro’s other targets are dead. Except for you.” Malika cocked her head, considering Kakyoin. “After he came back the last time and he was…alone in there, I…grew him flowers, a few times. I wasn’t supposed to. But he was in the dark for so long. I thought he wouldn’t mind losing a little bit of blood as long as it reminded him there was still something left.” “What do you mean,” Kakyoin said slowly, “‘in the dark’?” Malika didn’t answer. White flowers unfurled from her forearm, gentle trickles of blood rising up the thin stems. She watched them thoughtfully. White poppy; consolation. She plucked a poppy out of her arm and held it carefully between two fingers. “You have to get him out,” she said. “You have to.”

AU where Jotaro is the evil brainwashed assassin sent to kill Kakyoin, who makes life very complicated for Dio by being better at counterpossession than he is. Part 1 of nothing like the sun

somebody's baby boy ain't coming home tonight by simkjrs He rolls back the sleeve on his left arm and looks at the scabbed-over words that have been cut into his skin.

KASAI 181 BRING PEN

It’s not like Jotaro makes it a habit to listen to what other people say to him, but this is too strange of a case. He doesn’t remember doing this to himself, but if he didn’t do it, then who? And if he did do it, then why can’t he remember? ---- Four months after Egypt, and there is something strange happening back at home.

I am the desert by catboysam Jotaro hated to admit it to himself, but despite the fact that he hadn't teared up when they left Japan, he missed his grandfather’s presence. After having him beside him for so long and through so much, being separated from him felt… almost wrong. Like another thing was missing. And the more he lingered on that thought, the more the lack of Polnareff's presence felt wrong too. Jotaro invites Polnareff to his high school graduation.

the sidewalk soldiers sing the midnight blues by queenieofaces In hindsight, he doesn’t know why it didn’t occur to him that losing a hand might affect his hamon. His lungs are fine, but the flow of energy through his body is different now, no matter how imperceptibly.

The Best-Laid Plans by deuil Jotaro'd mentioned to Josuke on a few occasions that every plane that Joseph Joestar's ever been on has crashed and burned. Josuke wonders now if he's somehow managed to metaphorically inherit that trait.

Can't Go Back Now by etymologyplayground "No, no, he was not the devil. It is just that he was called Diavolo. … Well, maybe he was, I don't know," Giorno says. "Bene, he was the… director? Of Passione." "Boss," Fugo supplies him. "He was the boss." Giorno snaps his fingers at Fugo gratefully. "He was the boss. I should not care about him personally except that he made Passione sell drugs, and weapons. That's no good, you know." Jolyne slides her eyes over to Hermès, who is very resolutely looking at the road. She bites her lip. Jolyne thinks about the dime bag of weed currently sitting in the glove compartment. "Oh, yeah, for sure." -- Giorno and Fugo visit the Florida crew. Jolyne figures some stuff out about herself, her dad, and Hermès.

Untitled (1980-2014) by platinumfinale Jotaro Kujo, and his family, grows up. Contains spoilers for parts 3-6.

and the PTA meetings are worse by shonens Love thy neighbor. Or hate them. Hate them so passionately you trim your hedges in the shape of 'get fucked' in hopes of ruining their day. A collection of AU short stories about mudad, oradad, and suburbia.

[galadrieljones]

11 questions

tagged by @thevikingwoman. thank you!!

1. The most beautiful place you have been 

Ah, a tough one. To me, there is nothing more sublime than the big, wide open empty of the American West. Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons. Utah, and the weird hellscapes of northern Nevada. BUT, on our honeymoon, we went to France: flew into Bergerac and slowly drove north to Paris over the course of several days. The sunflower fields were in full bloom and it was really something else. I also have to say that, while I don’t always love where I live in Orange County, the sunsets in Laguna Beach really are the prettiest sunsets in the whole world.

2. Pick a super power. Why that one? 

Not no sleep, but just less sleep. I’d love it if I could subsist on just like four hours a night. I’d get so much more done that way!! Lol.

3. Do you have a comfort movie or show? What is it? 

Yes, I have several comfort shows. My most frequented are probably Gilmore Girls, Buffy, and Dawson’s Creek. Right now, on maternity leave, I’m also taking a GREAT deal of comfort in Beat Bobby Flay lol. Idk, I just really like him!!

4. A creation you’re really proud of?

All of my fanfic I’m very proud of. I feel it keeps getting better with every work. I’m very proud of having finished The Dead Season, but I feel like, in terms of writing and storytelling skill, A Funeral feels like my most honed creation so far. 

5. Something you are looking forward to in the next year or two?

Well, I just had a baby eight days ago, so I’m looking forward to getting back to normal!!

6. Top 5 video games?

The order here can tend to fluctuate based on where my emotional attachment lies on any given day, but I’ll be as “objective” as possible. Also I have six because the first two I consider to be a tie:

The Last of Us - This is one of my favorite games because it’s so tightly woven, as a story. The characters and their relationships, in combination with the setting and high stakes horrific atmosphere makes it feel both terrifying and desperate in almost EVERY moment. There is ALWAYS something to lose, and Joel’s longterm character development is both very unique and also extremely realistic, nuanced, and heartbreaking.

Red Dead Redemption 2 - This game, for me, succeeds on the strength of its protagonist. The game itself is beautiful, meandering, dynamic, and the story, while sprawling, is multi-faceted and really advanced in its usage of POV, symbolism, and ambiguity. It’s impossible for me to choose between RDR2 and TLoU because they’re such different games. There really is nothing like RDR2, and there is no protagonist like Arthur Morgan, but the narrative of TLoU is just so...perfect. Overall, I think protagonists like Joel and Arthur are sort of paving the way for games that are much more “adult” in scope. These are the first two games I’ve ever really played that feel exclusively BY adults and FOR adults. 

Skyrim - I can’t even really qualify my love for this game at this point in my life. It’s like comfort food. It’s like coming home.

Dragon Age: Inquisition - It’s an imperfect game, but it’s big and the characters are wonderful. I get lost in the banter, the background dynamics, the politics, and the wealth of opportunity for OC creation and fan works.

Horizon: Zero Dawn - Aloy is such a unique female protagonist, in that she is almost a Byronic Hero. Female Byronic heroes are really rare, and I think I love her for her secret romance, masked with a hefty layer of sarcasm, bitterness, and self-preservation. I love Aloy’s journey, because it begins with one quest (find the men who attacked the Proving and killed Rost) and then becomes a much more existential quest (Aloy’s discovery of her own origin story). The game itself is good, but I think if a sequel is made, it’s going to be fucking REALLY GOOD.

Bloodbourne - I’ve never actually played Bloodbourne lol but I’ve watched my husband play it twice. It is by far the weirdest game, aesthetically, I’ve ever encountered. The bizarre menstrual symbolism and hidden zones are entirely gnarly and beautiful. And I love the storytelling style of Hidetaka Miyazaki, how it’s all shown, or implied. There are no quest markers, no obvious objectives. Entire worlds can be missed through happenstance, or failing to fully investigate one small mystery to its painstaking conclusion. 

7. A recent favorite anything (food/entertainment/clothing/??)

As previously stated, I’m very into Beat Bobby Flay lately lol. Dude, Bobby Flay is entirely 100% the man. He is both calmly confident and entirely accomplished as a chef, but also extremely gracious toward his challengers and always willing to concede the loss (though he usually wins lol). That kind of humble confidence is...rare. He reminds me of that thing Solas says in DAI: “No real god need prove himself.”

8. Favorite board game?

I know it’s old school, but I really love Risk. I like playing with my husband, because he’s VERY good, but I learn a lot from him, and though I have only beat him maybe one time ever lol I usually take him by surprise a few times during the game, and that’s very fun lol.

9. Stealing this one: I know that lots of people have “dinosaur” or “ancient Egypt” interests as a child; what was something that you were super interested in as a child? I’d love to learn a new fact about that subject if you’re willing!

When I was a CHILD, I had a definite elves and fairies phase, as well as a metaphysical time travel/scifi phase. My favorite books, which I would read constantly over and over again were Afternoon of the Elves by Janet Taylor Lisle (which has no *actual* elves in it--the elves are like metaphors, honestly explains a lot about my tendency toward fabulism rather than actual fantasy) and A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle. Looking back, I still see these books and how they manifest in my preferences today. They really blur genre boundaries--between fantasy, science, and domestic realism. They’re about kids having regular kid problems and often experiencing catharsis via “fantasy” worlds. 

10. A strange thing you googled recently, if you’re willing to share. 

Well, I’ve googled a lot of strange things lately. When you have a new baby, you’re always googling strange things lol. But I’d say, in the past few months, the strangest thing I’ve had to google was basically male and female underwear from the late 1800s. What the fuck does Arthur wear under his pants?? What the fuck is Mary Beth hiding under that skirt?? The most alarming thing I discovered was that women typically wore crotchless drawers around this time. This way they could pee without having to completely remove their myriad of skirts lol 

11. You only put ten questions, so I’ll steal a simple one from the previous batch, ie: Five favorite books! I’ve been thinking about some of them lately, so I wanna share:

Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Tender Morsels by Margo Lanagan

Airships: Stories by Barry Hannah

Cannery Row by John Steinbeck

I’ll tag @buttsonthebeach @morgan-arthur @ladylike-foxes @bearly-tolerable @wrenbee @lyrium-lovesong @ma-sulevin @a-shakespearean-in-paris @hidinginthehinterlands and @idrelle-miocovani

Questions:

Five favorite books?

Five favorite video games?

Favorite visual artist(s) (fan artists and/or traditional)?

Favorite video game protagonist (non-OC) and why?

What’s the best meal you’ve ever eaten?

What’s your dream road trip? Or, if you don’t like road trips, what’s your dream vacation?

Do you like old movies? I’m talking OLD movies, like golden era, from the 1930s-1950s. Why or why not? Do you have a favorite?

What’s something unique and interesting about the place where you live and/or grew up?

If you were going to be transported into the setting of any video game, which would it be and why?

Regardless of where you actually live, would you prefer urban, suburban, small town, or rural living?

What is the most emotional you’ve ever gotten over a video game?

[they-are-there-upon-his-head]

Hi, I just really need to talk about modern AU great Comet hcs Please love me

an unprompted ask?? for me??? this is the content I signed up for

so yeah i’m just gonna make a big ass list of headcanons lemme know what you think,,, i love modern au so much so this is also a long post beware!!!

these are random as hell but are heavy on the Andrierre, which is good and bad because I love this ship but also I haven’t read War and Peace so some of the Andrey headcanons might be dead wrong

and of course feel free to correct and/or add on to this list! I’d love to hear what you guys have to say about this and I’m always up for talking about Great Comet

so let’s begin

 Anatole is a picky picky picky eater, he’ll only eat very specific things like That One All-Natural Organic Overpriced Brand Of Mac ‘N’ Cheese™

9 times out of 10 Helene is going to or drinking Starbucks

Dolokhov will eat ANYTHING but he still ends up going to Taco Bell way too often

he drinks too much Mountain Dew

Pierre keeps his shirt on at the beach/when swimming

he only leaves the house to walk to the local convenience store and buy snacks, and the liquor store to buy booze

Marya loves couponing

Dolokhov prides himself on his cool sneakers

Sonya plays the ukulele

she wears a lot of scarves and flannel and loves autumn

Andrey owns a lot of soft gray sweaters

Mary has a really old ipod nano that has like ten songs on it but she listens to it and dances while she cleans in the morning when her father is asleep

Helene wears athletic wear (track pants, cool sneakers, etc) for the aesthetic but isn’t much of a fan of working out

Andrey goes for a run every morning

Natasha uses the dog filter on Snapchat way too much

Balaga wears a weed hat and weed socks

there’s a 99% chance Anatole has texted “send nudes” in the last 12 hours

Pierre has a lot of t-shirts with random bands on them

Marya loves strong coffee

Natasha and Sonya share a room that’s decorated with fairy lights

Andrey works a bunch of jobs and has really weird hours

lucky for him, Pierre never sleeps

so they often go to the local diner together at 3am and get milkshakes and cheese fries

Pierre fucking loves cheese fries

Sonya had a weeb phase

Dolokhov is still in the tail end of his emo phase tbh

Anatole secretly loves Buzzfeed quizzes

Balaga is an uber driver

Sonya watches a lot of Food Network and HGTV

Natasha loves The Bachelor

Dolokhov watches roast videos

Pierre once watched vine compilations for 13 hours straight

somehow word got around that Dolokhov secretly has an embarrassing tattoo (something along the lines of “I love my mom,” perhaps?) but when confronted about it he turned bright red and vehemently denied its existence

Helene wears those Aesthetic™ shirts with random French words on them from like Forever 21 or something

Dolokhov wears Timberlands and track pants and snapback hats

he also wears his socks pulled up high like your friendly neighborhood fuckboy

Natasha has worn the same pair of Uggs for a long time

Balaga unironically wears Crocs (often paired with his weed socks and oversized denim cutoffs)

Dolokhov takes snowball fights very seriously

Andrey can drive but he hates doing it

he bikes to work and around the city

Mary also hates driving, but that’s because she’s deathly afraid of it

Pierre bought contacts but never uses them, he just wears his glasses instead

Dolokhov is really into sports, both watching them and playing them

his favorites are soccer and basketball

he forces Anatole and Helene to watch some games with him and they hate it

they just rate the players’ attractiveness instead and end up talking and wolf-whistling over all the commentary

Dolokhov is annoyed by it at first, but always ends up joining in and marveling at the muscles on these guys! look at those fucking biceps

Natasha visits Pierre once in awhile and brings some gifts and food (usually baked goods that her and Sonya make)

they just sorta hang out and talk and eat, sometimes Pierre makes tea for them and they have a little tea party

Pierre’s very awkward but Natasha is good at diffusing the awkwardness, mostly by talking a lot about nothing

one time she convinced him to let her paint his nails and honestly??? Pierre kinda liked it

he wanted to tell Andrey about it but Andrey still doesn’t seem ready to talk about Natasha

Pierre’s ok with it though, he’ll give it time. Andrey will come around eventually.

Mary swears by medicinal teas and herbs for almost every ailment

she also collects flowers and dries them and hangs them in her room

Dolokhov does parkour

Balaga runs a meme account

Marya has everything you could ever need in her purse, including napkins, Advil, hand sanitizer, wet wipes, tampons, pepper spray, tweezers, Beyonce’s entire discography, the whole city of Moscow, etc

Pierre has a lot of books on the French Revolution

one Valentine’s Day, Andrey got Pierre a locket with Napoleon’s face in it and Pierre was so confused until he opened it and he just looked so pained while Andrey laughed

honestly Pierre thinks it was actually really fucking clever and it’s kinda sweet that Andrey noticed how into the French Revolution he was

also, he had never seen Andrey laugh as hard as he did in that moment and that made it all worth it

Pierre’s favorite TV show is Gravity Falls, though Ancient Aliens is a close second

he also watches reruns of Jeopardy a lot and is surprisingly good at it

sometimes Andrey will watch it with him; Pierre gets all the history stuff and Andrey gets more of the pop culture questions

Helene listens to Lana Del Rey, Dolokhov has a soft spot for twenty one pilots, and Anatole is always a slut for some Britney

Pierre listens to Radiohead and other depressing existential indie/alternative rock

Natasha is a sucker for a good love song, Broadway musicals, or any happy boppy pop song tbh

Sonya loves folk music and anything with string instruments

Andrey is partial to some good 90s grunge rock (Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Weezer, etc)

Marya listens to pop music of the 70s and 80s music, stuff of the “good old days”

boy oh boy can she GET DOWN to Dancing Queen

Mary thoroughly enjoys Christian rock

Andrey secretly loves to dance, he’s one of those people that just kind of loses himself in the music and is just completely in the zone while dancing

honestly??? Pierre’s jealous because 1. how do you relax while there are people around you and 2. how the hell does Andrey still look cool

Pierre is either too self-conscious to dance or he just kind of nods his head to the beat, that’s all he’ll do

(unless he’s alone in which case it’s WILD)

Dolokhov’s dancing is basically just jumping with some fancy footwork once in awhile

Anatole and Helene twerk. c’mon of course they do

one time Natasha tried to teach herself how to twerk and Marya walked in and grounded her for a week

Pierre thinks The Shawshank Redemption is the pinnacle of cinema and will fight anyone who thinks otherwise

Natasha sings in the shower

Anatole loves chick flicks and has a crush on Ryan Gosling

he forces Dolokhov to watch shitty romcoms with him as revenge for Dolokhov forcing him to watch sports

but I mean they’re all curled up on the couch with their arms around each other and Anatole’s crying and Dolokhov’s laughing at him and they’re eating ice cream and takeout from the one place that Anatole actually likes and it’s just them because Helene’s knows that this is just Too Much™ so she left and she’s basically the voice of reason in their friend group and it’s really quite the experience

Pierre was in a really shitty cover band in college

Balaga is always high

Sonya loves oversized sweaters and leggings

Dolokhov has his ears pierced

Helene has a nose ring

not a day goes by when Anatole doesn’t quote Mean Girls

Mary owns a lot of those wooden blocks with random little quotes on them (you know the ones – they’re in any given Marshalls and dearly beloved by suburban wine moms), like “Be happy” and “Jesus loves you” and “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy chocolate”

one of Andrey’s many jobs is waiting tables at Applebee’s. Pierre has visited him there a couple times and boy did Andrey look dead inside

the only reason Andrey works so many jobs is so he can afford his own place because his father is a piece of shit

Pierre offered to help with the financial aspect of it but Andrey wouldn’t let him pay for it

still, Andrey ends up sleeping over Pierre’s a lot, not that Pierre minds

Old Prince Bolkonsky exclusively watches FOX news and he yells at the TV a lot

he eats the same thing for lunch every day: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which he makes Mary prepare

fun fact: Mary is allergic to peanuts

Sonya works at an ice cream parlor and brings home desserts for Natasha and Marya

Marya loves chocolate ice cream, Natasha prefers vanilla with rainbow sprinkles

Sonya is a butter pecan kind of girl, if we’re getting into it (and we are)

Anatole likes French vanilla (it has to be French), Helene likes coffee, and Dolokhov is partial to death by chocolate (or something similar)

Bolkonsky has to have peanut butter ice cream, Mary likes strawberry

Andrey prefers sorbet, but if he had to pick, he’d go with pistachio

Pierre’s favorite is cookie dough

Balaga probably found a way to make weed ice cream tbh

Mary loves scrapbooking

Sonya writes fanfic

she loves to read and wishes she lived in a Barnes & Noble

Andrey and Pierre play video games together and they’ve gotten really good at it

neither one of them likes intense fighting games but they do really like Mario Kart

Andrey plays as Yoshi and Pierre plays as Bowser

Pierre tried to teach Natasha how to play but she kept falling off cliffs

her favorite character is Princess Peach

her and Sonya dressed up as Peach and Daisy for Halloween once and it was really cute

Pierre has worn the same black hoodie for two years

Natasha runs an aesthetic blog

she also writes poetry on said blog

one of Andrey’s coworkers keeps accidentally calling him Andrew and it makes Andrey so irritated

the Kuragins can’t swim

Dolokhov tried to teach them but it didn’t work because Helene’s bikini kept falling down and Anatole wouldn’t go under water because it would ruin his hair

if Andrey goes over Pierre’s during the day, he’ll help him clean the house because Pierre has no motivation to do so

about once a month Marya will stop by and remark how disgusting the house is and before Pierre can even defend himself the whole house has been vacuumed, the windows are washed, the laundry’s done, the clothes are folded, the shelves are dusted, the bathroom’s scrubbed, the beds are made, and there’s fresh flowers on the kitchen table

then they hang out and complain about people to each other and it’s a grand old time

Pierre’s really grateful to Marya, but she refuses to take a compliment

let’s be real though, she relishes in watching Pierre keep saying nice things about her because she keeps denying them and he feels obligated to make her agree

Pierre has a shitty Toyota Corolla from the early 90s that has no AC and is being held together by duct tape and he’s afraid to drive it but too attached to sell it

Sonya has a folder on her laptop that’s just pictures of Tegan And Sara. that’s it

Marya doesn’t know how to whisper

Pierre loves the movie theater but will only go if Andrey or Natasha go with him

after the whole Anatole Fiasco™ Natasha and Sonya blocked Helene on Instagram so she kept making fake accounts until they accepted one of the follow requests

Andrey takes Halloween very seriously

Pierre bites his nails

Helene taught Anatole how to do makeup and now he won’t stop contouring

Anatole takes an obnoxious amount of selfies

Sonya’s wardrobe is almost exclusively from Target

Pierre spends an embarrassing amount of time on Wikipedia

Marya had a flip phone up until a couple months ago when Natasha and Sonya convinced her to get an iPhone

Marya hates it because she doesn’t know how to use it and it makes her feel stupid

but Natasha’s teaching her how to use it and it’s kind of growing on her, it’s just so practical and functional and now she has a pretty red case for it that matches her nails and

Marya goes and gets her nails and hair done every couple of weeks, it’s her mandatory “treat yo’ self” ritual

Anatole pretty much only wears pastel colors

Dolokhov pretty much only wears black (or very very very dark gray)

he has a black jean jacket decorated with lots of pins that he wears all the time

there’s a skull pin and one that says “Jesus hates me” and a Blink-182 one and an Obama one and a gay flag one and an eggplant emoji one and one that says “I love my boyfriend” and it’s fucking iconic

his favorite shirt to wear it with is his Batman shirt

Dolokhov likes DC better than Marvel, Pierre’s the other way around (is that what the duel was fought over??? lmao)

Anatole doesn’t care but he thinks RDJ is hot

Andrey likes both and doesn’t understand why everyone’s so angry about it

Helene has an extensive collection of bralettes

Natasha hates pants and only wears skirts or dresses

Sonya doesn’t think she’s very good at drawing or painting but she still does it anyway because it makes her really happy

Pierre once said “love you” while talking on the phone with Andrey and he didn’t know what to do so he just PANICKED and chucked his phone across the room but he forgot to hang up and it turns out Andrey didn’t even hear what he said after all

ehhh hopefully this is pretty good? it was fun to make and made me laugh while writing it but let me know what you think!! and please add on to this post, i need more modern au headcanons hhhhhh

[brothermouzongaming]

Games I’m excited about for 2018

Spider-man (PS4 exclusive): This list is in no way ranked. That being said this is my most anticipated game of 2018. I have been waiting for a Spider-man game to grab me since Spider-man 2. When I was at E3 the gameplay looked really promising and showed that the developers knew what made the good games good. From what I can see they even were able to pull some of the things that made the bad games good a la “Web of Shadows”. I’m not going to say much else for fear of this whole post turning into a Spider-man rant. Don’t let me down Insomniac. Do not.

Dragon Ball FighterZ: This game looks SHIT HOT and I’m excited to have a fighter I really want to get into from this generation. Smooth seamless combat at breakneck speeds and so much source material it was probably daunting. DBZ is special to me and many people like me, the guys at Arc Systems have their work cut out for them and I’m excited. My fighting games thus far have been Soul Calibur 3, MvC 2, and the little I dabbled in Injustice 2 ....yeah as you can see fighting games aren’t my thing. This, however, this is gonna be something I commit to. Come January 28th these hands will be on sale, come and get it

Days Gone (PS4 exclusive): 28 Days Later-esque pandemic centered in a rich yet frightening wilderness with survival mechanics? Single Player based?Yes please and thank you I will be having all of it. The gameplay looks great and just as importantly, the story seems engaging. Yes, it’s the same Last of Us scenario we’ve encountered time and time again in both games and movies. This time I think that may have been taken into account. There’s a somber yet rooted tone that though again has been done before, really seems to hold up even in the brief cutscenes available online. Am I worried that the developers have really only accomplished the Syphon Filter series (dating myself here which is a scary thought), two PS Vita Uncharted games, one unremarkable Resistance game, and Bubsy 3D in ‘96.... NOPE fuck it cause it’s almost promised to be free of micro-transactions and actually be an enjoyable and enthralling experience.

Monster Hunter World: The beta was fun, combat felt a little empty at times but once it gets going there is no stopping this game. Something about hunting a Slug Fish creature in a swamp, turning a corner only to see some unholy being vaguely reminiscent of a T Rex fused with an Armadillo. At that point I realized that we may be the monster hunters but holy shitfuck we better come correct. Really really really deep equipment and tools settings. Your main weapon is just the beginning with perks, buffs both passive and active, as well as a few other key tools also being at your disposal. I got a buddy to join me and the two of us dragged each other through that ordeal but it was hard because it was new, I was still having a good time. I’m excited to see what Capcom brings to their first console rendition in 11 years for a franchise that is as highly acclaimed as this one. 

Far Cry 5: This is a series that has always done an amazing job at the whole “Hunter v Hunted” aesthetic. I always feel so powerful and dangerous when I play Far Cry and 3 was a huge step in the right direction. 4 had a lot of things that I enjoyed, the gunplay, vehicles, and characters were really good. It did, however, fall a little short story-wise as well as some worn game mechanics with this being the fourth in the series. I did not get to play FC5 at E3 because that line was absurd. That being said, from the gameplay available on Youtube and various interviews it does seem that Ubisoft is aware of the potential stale twinge Far Cry has developed over the years. I’m looking forward to cutting down zealot cultists in the open Montana landscapes. March 27.

Anthem: This game is important, after the fuck-shit-stack that was Battlefront 2 and the cacophony of backlash that came with it; EA have to get this right. This loot box based online shooter, the “Destiny-killer” it’s being called. How does one kill what is already dead? Fuck if I know but I am interested IF they can do it right. That being said, my hopes aren’t high, but this game will be a barometer. This will show whether EA is willing to bend at all on their plans for monetization. They know a BF2 scenario is totally on the table now, and if they misstep, there will be more backlash. Either way, we win, either we get a good game or EA get put on another stake to burn.

Vampyr: From the developer that brought us Life is Strange and Remember Me comes a new game set in London 1918 during the Spanish Flu pandemic. We will play a vampire (sigh prime journalism over here folks) in town with a set number of NPCs and each death will have consequences for both you and the city. Semi-open world with an RPG and combat focus, I’m so down and I really hope this game can do new things. Q2 (Jan., Feb., Mar.) 2018

Soul Calibur 6: My fighting game is back and this is going to be a weird year for me with not one but two fighting games that will find my focus this year. Mitsurugi, Sophitia, and around 20+ are back to beat the everloving snot out of each other. I’m excited because this is supposedly a “reboot” of the franchise which means a lot of the original characters will be back (Nightmare, Maxi, Ivy, Taki, Kilik, etc). Things like armor breaking are both interesting and worrisome. I suspect Taki, Ivy, and the other unreasonably busty women of the series will be left awfully vulnerable sans armor by the mid/end of a battle. Regardless, this revamp maybe what the fighting franchise needs to enter the ring against the big boys of this generation. 

Death Stranding: DEATH MOTHER FUCKING STRANDVXIRJORWTMDNGHF  Let me tell you something, Kojima is going to save us all. I’m serious he is going to take all our hands and walk us into the sunlight of gaming where there are no microtransactions, the singleplayer is an epic odyssey, the multiplayer is fun but unnecessary, and the gaming experience is not only unique but has a lasting impression on every gamer brave enough to hold a controller. This game is going to test us, change us, and maybe most importantly: make people rethink the way games are made/designed. The third person sci-fi nightmare adventure will be here before we know it and great Scott am I ready to dive in. 

Red Dead Redemption 2: Had you asked me about RDD2 and it’s hypothetical production about 3 years ago; I would’ve said something along the lines of  “Fuck yes yippie kai yay mfs where mah horse at”. After Take-Two (parent company of 2k and Rockstar) came out and essentially supported EA’s usage of loot boxes. The CEO stated that “Recurrent consumer spending was the way of the future,” which is concerning to say the very least. I’m worried my West World sim is gonna turn into well...something more like West World. “Oh what’s that want a new hat? 5 bucks. New horse? 10 doll hairs plz. New gun? 15 smackers and the skin off your respective genitalia. Thank you come again.” My once resounding and honestly strange response is definitely more tepid and cautious. GTAV is lending itself quite nicely to the ways of the microtransaction and I can just see little buckets of gold nuggets or some dumb shit like that hinging in front of me or at the local shop. If so may there be backlash, and lots of it. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Greedfall: Developed by Spiders, a team with an... interesting track record in gaming (Sherlock Holmes v Jack the Ripper, Bound by Flame, and Technomancer [yikes]). On paper, this game sounds like it might be worth a damn and this is the most publicity any of their games have gotten so that does peak my interest. That and the publisher is Focus Home Interactive, makers of games like Divinity 2 and The Surge as well as my highly anticipated Call of Cthulhu and Vampyr. Who knows, this team up might just work. An open world RPG with online mechanics sounds fun.

God of War: I have never played a God of War game all the way through. With this being my first PlayStation that does make sense. That being said, I’m very excited to sit down and try my hand at this rebooted series. Given the reputation and clear influence a game like GoW has had, it does lead my expectations up rather than down. Santa Monica is developing, Ready at Dawn for some reason isn’t but it’s good to see the original team getting another crack at the Spartan. This time Greco-Roman gods are put aside for a more Nordic feel. The chain blades replaced with a hefty ax as well as a few other tools from what I’ve read/heard. Another interesting single player experience for those turned off by multiplayer and microtransactions. Not to say it won't have them just look at Shadow of War. It does, however, make it considerably less likely.

BioMutant: Traverse an open and changing world as an also everchanging bio-genetic mutant. Supposedly going to have big rpg mechanics involving the fact that your character’s schtick is evolving and changing. Brought to you by THQ Nordic the people that brought us the highs of the Darksiders series, Painkiller: Hell and Damnation, and Red Faction (2001). As well as some lows like the recently imploded Elex, Alan Wake, and the classic Spynx and the Cursed Mummy. I really don’t know what to make of this resume let alone what to expect. I am however excited for something new in the third person adventure genre. 

[clim-hazzar-d-blog]

Does 2017 have the best gaming lineup in history?

2017 Is still in its infancy but with the amount of hype surrounding many of the titles in this years lineup, I began to wonder if I could remember another time when I was this amped for video games. There are of course, plenty in fact but I wanted to know if this was the most anticipated year of gaming for me. What’s up everyone, First thanks for sharing a small piece of my world, also this is my first post so hopefully you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Alright, so what’s the deal here? Basically I need to know If this year has the best gaming lineup we’ve ever seen. I need to know because of the innate need we as humans have to constantly validate our intellectual importance. In other words I-don’t-work-for-Game-Informer but-I-like-video-games-too...sniffle. Anyway, the only way to really accomplish this as we all know is to cable news it up on Facebook, but since I’m not nearly smart enough for that I decided to just compare all of the releases from past years. Simple right?  

“But Clem this is your first piece, is your opinion even worth listening to?” Well...Is it illegal to cage pregnant pigs in Florida? The answer to both of those questions  is yes, because of a whole slew of information I think I put in my Bio…maybe. As for the thing with the pig your guess is as good as mine. [ insert Link about best years in gaming history] Condescending mysterious quotes guy had a really good point however, I mean even after earning my stripes in gaming by playing video games before both the  Xbox and Playstation were around I felt like maybe I should should start with something I could more easily defend as a valid opinion.  Then I remembered that Final Fantasy VII Is slated to released this year and how huge a deal this is in the community which I’ve belonged to my entire life, so I told Condescending mysterious quotes guy to go fuck himself.

Outside of a few articles that weren’t particularly recent I wasn’t able to find much written about the topic, so my research consisted largely of going to wikipedia. Which even after just an hour or so had overcomplicated my thought process’ enough to satisfy me with the information I was looking for. Since I was gaming throughout most of the 30 years or so I’m considering for this article, I felt that what I did look up and the effort I put into this piece was justified. Having said that the sheer amount of things there were to consider began to get a bit overwhelming and started to chip at the integrity of my not wanting to be bias. A few of my thoughts however, did make it into my decision making process. Factors such as games that came out during the launch of a new console, and anything from before perhaps the fourth generation of consoles, did not get much consideration because many early games from the 80’s were either directly associated with the industry moving forward and making new discoveries, or largely indistinguishable from other games that came out during similar times. This appeared to devalue my point as many of these years can be seen as redundant as far as the gaming industry is concerned.

Now that I have hopefully shown you that I’ve put forth some form of effort into making this as objective as I could, we can start talking about some of the things I am more excited about...for instance THE ENTIRE POINT OF MY ARTICLE! It can’t be overstated enough how huge a year in gaming we have ahead of us in 2017. On top of all of the games slated to be released this season (barring any delays from any of the more anticipated titles) a few games have already delivered in groundbreaking ways, such as Horizon: Zero Dawn; the visually stunning dino hunter and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild; which launched alongside the Nintendo Switch. We live in a time where it is really difficult for games to stand out and gain Legendary status [insert super sayain god], with the frequency and variety we get from games today It’s easy to develop Non Life Changing Game Syndrome or NLCGS for short. NLCGS shouldn’t be taken lightly as it may result in serious side effects such as being trapped playing the last seven years of Call of Duty games exclusively and the less common but more severe case of leaving videogames completely. All jokes aside the remake of FFVII is easily the most anticipated game of this year and quite frankly the last 20 years. For fear of sounding like too much of a fanboy and because…well... Climhazzard I will leave it at that.

“Yea but Clem, Zelda is always going to have its fans, and Final Fantasy is essentially just a remake?” Condescending Mysterious Quotes guy has made another fair yet premature point. Luckily I didn’t empty my magazine, because this year has some of the most intriguing gaming concepts I have seen in a little while like For Honor, which possesses the ability to be both incredibly unique and vaguely familiar making for a truly engaging experience. Honestly guys the list is packed with juggernauts…Red Dead Redemption gets a sequel, Kratos Is a Viking, Resident Evil 7 fully utilizing VR, Kratos Is a Viking, Gran Turismo coming out with like its 7th game, and with Kratos being a viking now, what’s not to like about this year in gaming.

Now, I said I did some and I managed to narrow wikipedia’s list to a few years; 1996-98 (specifically 98), and 2000. The late 90’s into present day is what I believe to be the golden age of gaming and considering how quickly technology advanced during those few years it’s easy to feel like that was an inevitability, but during this time we also observed the gaming industry take a huge step towards earning its place in the humanities. Games began to have longer deeper plots, music scores became more elaborate by adding soundtracks composed by orchestras where before the only option really was 8-16 bit chiptunes and tones.

Years 1996-1999 are where many of us remember spending our most formative years playing games like Pokemon Red and Blue, Final Fantasy 7, and everything that came out in 1998. If I weren’t advocating for 2017 I think 1998 would be the Greatest year for gaming, Gran Turismo, Metal Gear Solid, Tenchu, Marvel vs Capcom, and Goldeneye were all released that year and If you can remember anything other than playing those games in 98 than you are doing a hell of a lot better at keeping track of your life than I am thats for sure. Choosing the turn of the century  was a no brainer considering that’s the year the #1 selling game console of all time was released. I don’t have to tell you what console that is right...RIGHT?

Anyway, The rest of the 2000’s were a little more difficult for me to pick through than any of the previous years because we really saw the gaming industry start to blur the lines of what is and Is not considered gaming, which is to say that there are many more things that make one a gamer than not. With the mobile game movement and more and more  video game related art, though not necessarily involving any game playing, made it difficult for me to judge these years by the same standards. This year really stands out the most to me in this era of games, yea there are a few really great standouts scattered here and there, but because there are so many more games released in a calendar year many of which are frankly not very good ( a factor that made choosing even more complicated), few years have lineups that even come close to some of the aforementioned years, 2017 at least has the potential to be seen as the best year in gaming. Coupled with everything that is happening with VR this year 2017 looks be a sexy wikipedia page.

Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed my piece...if you did or didn’t feel free to let me know. I’d like to see more opinions on this topic and hear how people go about defending their choices...and remember that Quarter-Circle Forward Punch is always Hadoken.