#-their standard of a 'good person.'

[ink-asunder]

We NEED to reevaluate how we view people with "red flags" that don't actually indicate harm to anyone. Things like "doesn't like animals," "doesn't have pets," "my pets immediately distrust them, so that means they're Secretly Evil."

I have a psychotic disorder. I suffer from flat affect. I have zero control over how I am emoting, and very often my emotional readout is completely blank. A LOT of animals (dogs especially) have exhibited aggression and fear around me ever since this started. (There are only TWO dogs I've met in the last five years that didn't BITE ME.) Dogs are unsettled by me because of a symptom of my psychosis--a condition that is out of my control that IS NOT DANGEROUS and doesn't harm anyone.

I also have a severe autoimmune disease and severe allergies to basically all animals. Whenever I tell people I can't come over because they have pets, or I don't have/want pets of my own, the IMMEDIATE response I always get is "why don't you like animals?" So I'm always pretty pissed off when I have to say, "I'm severely allergic. Don't fucking assume I have an undesireable quality just because I'm not a pet owner."

Another ableist red flag we need to talk about is "has no other friends/all their friends break up with them." Hi. I'm physically disabled with a digestive disease and a degenerative disease in my spine. That means my dietary restrictions are stupid and I can't sit/stand/walk for more than 15 minutes without being in pain. Most of the friends I break up with, I do so BECAUSE THEY ARE INCREDIBLY ABLEIST TO ME with no visible potential of changing. From people relentlessly harrassing me about lifestyle changes to not accepting correction or feedback when I tell them "hey, you CAN'T do x because it triggers y condition." If they argue or blow me off, I'm not their fucking friend!

Tl;dr: Disabled, chronically ill, and people with "scary" mental illnesses are often lumped in with "bad people" for characteristics that hurt no one and aren't in their control. Stop using "my dog is uncomfortable around them" as a litmus test for everyone you hang out with.

[inkskinned]

no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

[dlartistanon]

My own little height chart...

[willthespy]

Did somebody say Solangelo?? ⛄️💫

[fictionadventurer]

Maybe the problem with Christian fiction is that it's non-denominational. People are just "Christian", with no effort put into showing what practicing that religion looks like for them specifically. No indication that there are other Christians who could have different beliefs. No wrestling with differing ideas and the struggle of how one should live out their Christian faith. And that makes it unrealistic and unrelatable.

[burningtheroots]

A common question and critique, both in feminist literature and in (online) feminist spaces, is ”Why aren’t the good men doing more for women? Why are they still so passive despite being the 'good' ones?”

Okay, so the answer is actually pretty simple.

At best, these self-proclaimed or so-called "good men" don’t care as long as it isn’t inconvenient for them personally.

At worst, they either secretly or openly enjoy women‘s oppression, humiliation, violation — both due to mere sadism and due to the fact that they actively benefit from it, personally as well as systemically.

That‘s why "good men" are nearly non-existent. Some might be allies when it comes to certain topics (though probably not for genuine women-oriented reasons, and yes, intention matters), however, they‘ll still be misogynistic and oppressive in other ways, or tolerate those who are.

And the concept of a "good men" who‘s "passive" is completely ridiculous. If you, as a member of the oppressor class who‘s advantaged by our systemic & worldwide oppression all the damn time, think that not doing anything makes you "good", you‘re merely a bystander, and hence a (silent) enabler. Not a "good man who‘s just being passive".

Silence is complicity.

They don’t deserve to be labelled as "good". Not harming us with their own hands is the barest minimum. And we deserve to raise our standards, and we also deserve that our sisters raise theirs.

Women for Women. That‘s it. That‘s the only way.

[feelingtheaster99]

You know what makes the whole thing worse? The fact that she smiles as she kills him. She saw Kristen, and smiled and (somehow?) insta-killed him.

Why the fuck would you smile as you murder YOUR party cleric? What the fuck did he ever even do to you?

[wednesdayche]

❗Epilogue spoiler

(Wyll broke his pact wiht Mizora and reminds to be the Blade)

Nightwarden Minthara: I am sure that being slain by a heroic blade is of great comfort to your victims.

1>Player(Wyll): They are not victims, they are monsters.

Nightwarden Minthara: I have been both victim and monster. Whichever you saw me as, if your turned your blade on me, there are still those who would grieve my passing. And I would bleed like any other.

2>Player(Wyll):  I bring justice, not comfort.

Nightwarden Minthara: I was taught that any man who spoke out of line, or above his lowly station, should be punished. I called that justice. I do not think there is such a thing as justice anymore, and I do not find my comfort at either end of a blade.

3>Player(Wyll):  I'm a protector, not a killer.

Nightwarden Minthara: In this world, the two roles go hand in hand more often than not. Call yourself a slayer of monsters and be proud, for that is what you are.

[fure-dcmk]

(doing this halfheartedly cuz i do not have the patience to check every detco character that ever existed while taking account of artstyle evolution)

Maybe this is something which is very obvious but i JUST realize Shinichi is the only GUY with the triangle itty bitty button nose. In detco this nose design tends to be given to other main girls. (if im wrong please lmk I'm doing this very with minimum scrutiny)

What am I trying to get at? Well maybe.... Shinichi has a baby face? Or maybe even a feminine face? (that might also explain why Kaito have an easy time crossdressing)

[torturedpoetemotions]

TIL that not only did Taylor get an interim contract with SAG AFTRA and meet all their requirements to create and distribute her Eras Tour film without strike breaking...

Not only did she give life-changing $100-$200k bonuses to all of the workers on the U.S. leg of her tour when it was finished...

Not only did she donate money to food banks in every city she toured in (which I learned when working with food banks in my previous role is a massive help to them and something they rarely get enough donations of)...

Not only is she undoubtedly releasing one of the films that will help keep movie theatres from going under while the AMPTP sit in their office buildings refusing to negotiate...

Not only is she, with that film, demonstrating the viability of what I genuinely believe is going to end up being the way forward for at least some of the entertainment industry, which is to cut the AMPTP out entirely...

But way back in 2018 or 2019, when she changed labels and negotiated her contract with Universal, she negotiated it so that if Universal sells any of its stake in Spotify, it has to share those profits not just with her, but with ALL of the artists on the label.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Howdy giving Barnaby a gay life crisis is such a power move 💅✨

and Howdy would never let that little fact go <3

[turqrambles]

I keep thinking about this really cute and heartwarming scene where someone tries to make a homemade apology dessert to repair his relationship with his vegan girlfriend and, even though they got into a big fight, he's still honoring her dietary needs and is super stressed out because the house he's staying in is filled with animal products. Like they could've had him be spiteful and mean and go "well screw you, I'll just lie and use milk" but instead they take the really thoughtful approach.

...said scene was in a game called Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.

Sometimes it's the little things.

[labotor]

recent + old scarecrow art dump 🎃

[aitsuheart]

My favorite dynamic are probably friends who are dating because they get to be both

The best of both worlds, a cute friendship dynamic and a cute romantic relationship

And soriku

Yeah they're that.

They are best friends, gonna say it louder for the people in the back who say "oh no a gay pairing why can't they be friends"

But they're also dating

[svampira]

normalest friend group

[lyriumlullaby-ao3]

hello i’m back from the dead (sleeping) and it’s time to talk about

why Cullen won’t let anyone fix the hole in his ceiling 💖

someone has probably said this before but it wasn’t me, so here we go!

so remember that Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath grew up with three siblings, who he describes as being “very loud.” i see him as always being a very disciplined child, kind and warm and willing to let Mia take charge (because fighting her for it would have been useless), but a steadfast follower with a keen sense of justice and fairness, willing to voice his objections when he had any, and very fastidious about not breaking rules when Mia or Branson tried to stir up trouble. you know, that whole second child archetype. he was prone to a bit of escapism, running off to that pier on some lake which is definitely not in Crestwood, which tells us he likes having somewhere to escape to, somewhere to run if he gets overwhelmed.

skipping forward a bit, when he lived in Kirkwall, he had quite a bit of freedom to come and go physically, but to me at least it seems like he felt trapped by his duties under Meredith. he explicitly describes her keeping things from him, things she thought he’d disagree with as her second in command. he felt lied to, deceived, manipulated by her (bc he was), i think, even before the events at the end of DA2 that expose her for what she is. can you imagine that feeling? like he actually wants to do good, to treat the mages fairly and help keep them and everyone else safe (that’s why he signed up, after all), but he’s got this nasty, evil commanding officer who’s whispering in his ear, twisting all that good intention to do her malicious bidding. it must have felt like beating his head against a brick wall, like no matter what he did, his sincere desire to believe that other people are fundamentally good disappointed him. i always say that Meredith gave Cullen just enough rope to hang himself with.

jumping forward again, let’s talk about the Winter Palace. Cullen is very obviously uncomfortable there, and it makes sense why: he can’t leave, not without being extraordinarily rude, can’t get away from the people bothering and sexually harassing him, can’t get out of that jacket that is too damn tight. if you bring Cole with you, at one point in his ‘Investigate’ tree he comments that, “Cullen is afraid. They’re hurting him, following fear. He shouldn’t be here.”

all of this is just to illustrate: man’s got a Thing about feeling trapped, stuck, unable to fight back or defend himself or just flat out leave. and why does he have such a hard time with this?

because of that one time that Uldred blew up the Circle at Kinloch Hold in Ferelden. for reasons we don’t fully grasp, rather than being claimed by the demons or simply killed in the fighting, Cullen held out. he resisted demonic possession completely, somehow, and was instead trapped within that magical prison with no possibility of escape, probably for weeks. no escape from his hunger, thirst, or lyrium withdrawal, and no escape from the (probably Desire) demon(s) that tortured him with freedom if he’d only give in to those things he won’t quite allow himself to want.

so the fact that there’s a hole in his ceiling, even months into the repairs at Skyhold, when almost everything else has been fixed but a few, hard-to-access bits of masonry, is not lost on me. and sure, you could always blame it on lighting for the romance scene that takes place up there. but i like to think that it’s there because Cullen refuses to let them fix it. here’s why:

Cullen doesn’t like to stray far from his post. he likes that there’s a loft with a bed where he can pretend to sleep that’s not far from his desk, where he commands the lives of thousands of people. (i think at one point in Absolution, it’s revealed that at its height, the Inquisition was composed of ~10,000 troops, plus all the necessary support personnel.) the fate of the world is quite literally depending on his ability to do his job, and when the lyrium withdrawals make him feel like he must be losing his mind, he likes that he’s got an easy choice between resting (like he knows he probably should) or working (like he knows he really needs to), separated only by a little wooden ladder and a few planks that make up the floor.

he needs that little hole in the ceiling. if ever something happened at Skyhold, and it wasn’t safe or possible to leave through the three fucking doors on the lower level, he needs a back up plan, a way to get out from the top of that tower, or he’s every bit as trapped as he was at the Winter Palace, or by Meredith, or by Uldred and his demons, and he can’t be, not here, not with so many lives in his hands. not after Haven.

he needs it when he wakes up shouting, drenched in sweat, from another nightmare where he’s back there, trapped with demons who’ve murdered or enslaved your brothers and sisters and are trying to break you next, or pinned under Meredith’s thumb, doing things that he knows are wrong, he knows, but she’s his commanding officer and he trusts her, so how wrong can they really be? he needs it, first thing when he opens his eyes, to know he’s got an escape route, a backup plan. he’s safe.

and when he finally gives in to temptation, that thing he wants more than anything that he really shouldn’t let himself want, when the Inquisitor confesses that she wants to be with him when this is all over and he very dramatically sweeps aside everything on his desk, his whole life, shattering it all over the floor, he needs that little patch of sky to remind him it’s real. he’s free to leave whenever he needs to.

and that’s what allows him to stay.