#.. and doing basically nothing other than creeping the audience out.

[senotsuri]

What kinds of religions are there in Gundalia? Let's put in Vestals too come on, since it seems to be famous in your blog ahaha.

Vestal religion is, to me at least, an exaggerated version of what happened with early NV, where it's revealed the Vestals know about humans and Earth, and especially what happened with Naga.

Gundalians are more "our saints are alive, able to speak with us", but they do have a "god", if you can call them that.

Under the cut there are headings for each section, but this will get long

Vestal

Necessary context; I do headcanon two things. 1. the vestals are not the only natives to Vestal (kind of? they came from Darkus an uncountable amount of time ago), and 2. the other natives are able to see the future a little, and write down what they can perceive from elsewhere. As a result, these darkus aligned vestal vampires that eat dreams wrote down visions of a future from elsewhere. This then resulted in Vestal's knowledge of Earth, of humans, and of Naga. These visions really only worked if bakugan were present to see through, and it didn't matter which Earth was being looked at.

The creation of the Interspace, and Vestroia in BB is like this to begin with, essentially creates a multiverse by being a place between spaces; this essentially means the canon is canon, but so are OCs and fanon interpretations, but only to the Vestals unless proven otherwise (case in point for that; Shun showing up in the Alpha City Doubles Tournament proves he, at least, exists for that universe's vestals.)

Some Vestal denizens are likely to exaggerate this, and given that they were written down fragments of future visions (though they could be extrapolated to be of the past, if anyone wants to say that vestals are the successors of humanity), it's understandable that this would inadvertently create a pantheon of brawlers. Major players in canon and fandom pieces are at the top of the pile, no doubt.

Without the two pieces of context, I'd argue vestals are not religious until given something to devote themselves to (see: whatever the hell Gus has going on for Spectra.)

Gundalia

Gundalia has bakugan on it, and these bakugan are part of the half that know about the Sacred Orb. Unclear, but it is likely, if they know about their greatest grandmother (and child playing with their dolls) Code Eve.

And then there's the Dark Tribe. The Dark Tribe are defined as generally having a secret, evil power within them; they can destroy a planet using this power (or as Linehalt lets us find out, reverse that and heal a whole planet, including some newly dead, which happens to be everyone that isn't Dan.)

Because of this, and given their sheer proximity to their bakugan, I think Gundalians worship Dark Tribe bakugan similarly to how saints are worshipped, but with added fear of what they're apparently capable of. It's also likely they worship the mother of the original bakugan (though it is a plot point I wish wasn't a thing, because it screws up Dan's trial's sheer existence by making him the chosen one. What a way to waste a trial.)

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Notes on Criston Cole in 2x02

I was fascinated by Criston Cole in this episode. We don’t really see much of him in ep. 1 so I really wasn’t sure what to do with him and his current choices. This episode we see him a TON and everything in it had me sitting up, eyes sparkling, stupid grin on my face like OH HO HO!! We’re doing good tv!!

More below cut.

1- Fabien Frankel’s Acting

So, last episode, many people noted how Criston generally seems completely blank, no expression, dead eyed. I think this episode confirmed for me that this is a conscious choice by Fabien Frankel, not a reflection of a bad actor or director— Jared Padalecki half-acting in 90% of his scenes for the last several seasons of Supernatural THIS IS NOT!! (Sorry, spn is one of my other natural habitats. The comparison is right there for me.)

There are two smaller moments where we see these really interesting bits of physical acting letting us in on Criston’s internal thoughts even while he’s got the dead face on— I think we should be thinking of this as his Kingsguard Face, roughly equivalent to the customer service smile, but for bodyguards— Criston doesn’t want anyone EVER to know what he’s thinking and feeling unless what those things are can be summed up as “bloodthirsty shark dog with knives pointed at you” (more on this later).

These two moments are first, when we see the servants clearing out the bedroom and Criston flinches away from the sight of Jaehaerys’s bloody mattress. It doesn’t look like a flinch in the way that, say, Emma D’Arcy’s flinch when the door slams closed behind Daemon after the fight does, but it’s an uncalculated movement away from something distressing nonetheless. The scene is basically just this— we see the room coming down, we see Criston, we see the mattress, we see the flinch, there’s like one line of dialogue, the scene ends. The scene has very little function except, one, to show us background minutiae and detail that bring the world and the moment to life, and two, to let us see Criston away from Alicent, Otto, Aegon, and Aemond. It’s a moment that lets us into Cole’s interiority, his guilt.

This guilt is articulated clearly later, when he says to Alicent that nothing can absolve him of what he has done. After Alicent closes the door on him, the camera pans back to Criston where we get the second piece of physical acting that fascinated me— Criston is shaking his head ever so slightly, as if trying to push away thoughts creeping in. This is the moment that really sealed for me the idea of Criston’s Kingsguard Face versus the actual interiority of the character as articulated by Frankel. Essentially, just because Criston’s busy not projecting anything doesn’t mean that Frankel isn’t trying to convey something to the audience in that moment. Criston’s dead eyes and stupid face are a front. There are three scenes where we see something other than this front, and I’d like to look at them more closely.

2- Promotion

We’ve all memed hard on this moment— the scene where Aegon fires Otto and says, “oh?? I need a strong hand??? Well!! Guess what!! I’m promoting— him!”

[camera focus shifts to show Criston Cole standing there like🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️]

(I cackled.)

As usual in any scene where Cole isn’t actively radiating malice, he’s mostly expressionless, serving in his capacity as bodyguard. However, if you look at his face, you can see that his expression isn’t actually “blank” so much as it is “poleaxed”— another thing which has been deservedly memed on. It’s still a minute expression, but it’s visibly different from his standard 🫥 face.

Here the significance of the expression serves a different purpose than in other scenes. Here, Criston’s obvious surprise and mild befuddlement function as a way to hammer home Aegon’s impulsivity and irresponsibility. Criston’s been thinking for the last 36 hours that he got a toddler killed by fucking the king’s mom, and now, after ZERO PRIOR DISCUSSION, has gotten his second insane promotion in like three months maximum.

He’s gone from Kingsguard No. 2 to Lord Commander to the fucking Hand of the King. Criston was fully prepared to be LC of the KG— at most, Criston is expecting to be a crucial lieutenant and battle commander in non-aerial combat for the Greens. Now, as Hand, he would get to decide which battles get fought where by who. Oh, and he has zero administrative skills, so jot that one down.

3- Punching Bag

I talked before about how the turn in Alicent and Criston’s relationship left me with mixed emotions. This scene— the ending scene, notably, which I respect as a denouement and to avoid breaking the flow of the Rryk Fight Plot— helped things fall into place for me.

Criston is waiting inside Alicent’s bedchamber, armor off. If I had the time and energy (or if anyone else has the time and energy…? 👀) I would love to do a post looking at Criston with him armored versus unarmored, because I think the pattern will show that, generally, when he is literally vulnerable he is usually also personally vulnerable.

But I digress— the bigger point I’m trying to make is that Criston, who just kind of got a toddler killed by fucking the king’s mom and also just got promoted over said queen’s dad for a position he’s not qualified for, has shown up wearing pajamas in her room. This man is expecting intimacy. He has prepared himself for it by removing his armor before she even enters the room. There can be no pretense for this. This is about as close to reclining naked, oiled up, on a bed of rose petals, as Criston Cole’s gonna get. Alicent initiates the scene by storming over and getting physical, but I think in his own way, he’s asking for it. Criston plays at passivity, but the point of the scene is to show that he’s very much in it with her.

The scene itself is without dialogue, no recriminations. I think Criston and Alicent have said all that can be said earlier— “What do you take me for?” “One who seeks absolution.” “There can be none for what I have done.”— and this is what’s left: guilt and pain, tangled with a desperation for human connection and someone who understands. Last episode, the commentary talked about how Criston functions as Alicent’s punching bag, and in this episode we see that both with her actually hitting him and I think also with the fact that they keep having sex, re-enacting the thing that they’re feeling guilty about. It’s a way to keep self-flagellating, keeping the wound open so they can atone for their sins by constantly feeling the guilt.

If it works for them, hey. Fair enough.

4- That Bitch

This is the scene that had me GIGGLING, eyes sparkling, stupid grin on my face, kicking my feet, THRILLED. Criston Cole, my dear friend, my evil bitch.

What many people who find themselves bewildered by the genuine Team Green fandom fail to recognize is that, apart from Team Black suffering a lot of iffy writing in s1 that made them uninteresting, most people who like Team Green like them BECAUSE they are not nice people (Helaena excepted 🙂‍↕️😌🙏💜). They are not uniform in this un-niceness, either— Alicent pontificates and pines and looks guilty, Otto calculates and schemes in a very Lawful Evil manner, Larys manipulates and schemes creepily, Aegon is taking notes from Theon Greyjoy, Aemond is an anime villain who just wants his mommy to love him and his brother to say sorry and also to bite people in half with his dragon and maybe get his uncle to fuck him idk we’ll get back to that, and Tyland is an Econ Major. There’s a looooot in there!

Criston is a violent person who for about 95% of his time currently cannot express any of the sheer hatred, rage, malignance, resentment, or pettiness that he is feeling, because he is Too Busy Doing His Fucking Job, where such emotions are a hindrance. Set Criston Cole in a battlefield melee, and he’s fucking set. Set Criston Cole in front of a door for six hours and he’s about ready to die.

In season 1, we saw how Criston found outlets for this— beating men to death, antagonizing the Strong boys in the yard, and getting into fights with Harwin. But now, he’s older, and now, he’s the Lord Commander (though soon!! Soon!!!!) and he can’t do any of that because everyone in King’s Landing is, for better or worse, functionally on Team Green and therefore un-fuck-with-able.

So what’s a man to do when he wants to lash out? The old classic— take it out on the underlings.

People have already said this, but the way the light comes into Criston Cole’s eyes when he’s guilt-tripping his brother-in-arms into either killing Criston’s ex or committing suicide by cop is genuinely incredible. Criston doesn’t even really think Arryk harbors any traitorous inclinations— he just has the excuse of it theoretically being a concern and theoretically having a built-in plan if he needs some justification. Aegon swallows the plan easily enough before Otto forces him to think about it.

Criston gets his co-worker killed and he looks ALIVE while he’s doing it.

It’s clear, too, that Criston lashing out like this at the other Kingsguard isn’t unusual. First, there’s how Arryk reacts to Criston initially entering the room like “oookay. Here we go. While I’m eating breakfast. This fucking guy.” which is telling in and of itself, but could have been a personal acting choice from Arryk’s actor. The bigger clue to this being a regular occurrence comes when Criston hits the table and IMMEDIATELY all the Kingsguard FLEE. THE. SCENE. They don’t exchange looks, they don’t say anything, they know that the best they can do is clear out before they get caught in the crossfire. They know, each and every one of them, exactly who Criston is and how he acts, and they are NOT about to get in the way of their evil boss when he’s on a rampage.

Criston, my guy, you are so awful and I love you. Congrats on getting your co-worker killed. It looked like fun.

Looking forward to the next few weeks when we start to see the Criston-Aegon Hand-King duo in action! I’m sure that everything will go SUPER smoothly and no one will get killed and everything will be fiiiiiinnneeee.

[woodchipp]

Thank you for spelling out your character development, Aubrey! You really needed to because you didn't actually have it in the first place, but the game needs to pretend as if you did!

"I felt like everyone abandoned me... and abandoned MARI too..."

I'd like to note the way Aubrey phrases this line. Mari is tacked on at the end of the sentence as if she's an afterthought.

Considering how self-centered Aubrey has shown herself to be over the course of the game, it reads more as "Everyone abandoned me, goddammit! oh and there's that dead girl too ig"

It's very subtle and intricate writing when your characters rant about their foibles to the audience as if they're standing in a confessional.

"After SUNNY stopped coming to school..."

Which he did on a whim, apparently. Nowhere in the game is it stated or implied he was homeschooled or granted some special exemption.

Also... the writer... totally... isn't... overusing... ellipses...

"I just wanted to go through the photos, because... well... I guess I just wanted to see everyone happy again."

It always circles back to Aubrey and what she wants. It didn't occur to her to leave Basil's things alone since going through the album might bring up some painful memories for him. No, all that mattered is that she wanted to "see everyone happy again," even if that makes those same people miserable now.

Aubrey is an asshole.

"All of our memories together..."

Because the giant "BASIL'S MEMORIES" on the album's cover wasn't convincing enough for her, apparently.

I have already touched on this in other posts, but for the purposes of this one, I have to reiterate.

1) Aubrey's immediate reaction to a perceived slight was to basically disown her close friend of God knows how many years (even though she had no reason to blame him, nor did she let him explain himself) and make a conscious choice to start harassing him. Because that's what strong friendship is, isn't it?

2) She conveniently doesn't specify other "things like that" she called Basil, which implies she might have called him something way worse than "creep"

As you should.

You won't get to do anything about that, though, because the story is going to shift its focus to Sunny in a few minutes anyway.

Peak writing!

And now she's turned on the waterworks because the game's running short on time allotted to her "character arc", so we need to pity her as fast as possible.

I find it funny how the fact Aubrey nearly killed Basil back at their old hangout spot the day prior is not directly brought up or addressed by her at any point of her rant. Her sudden breakdown would have made more sense if it came after her admitting how guilty she actually feels about the accident because she crossed a line or something like that. Nothing of the sort happens, and all we ever get is a vague "What I've been doing is worse than what BASIL did"

BULLYING PEOPLE IS NOT A "MISTAKE". IT IS A DELIBERATE DECISION YOU MAKE.

FUCK YOU.

(also, Sunny taking a few steps back instead of trying to comfort his friend like Hero and Kel speaks more of his character than the game ever could)

"I'm going to acknowledge I'm a shitty friend, but you're not going to see me develop! What do you take me for? An important character?"

"sorry I didn't put my life on hold to keep you all from turning on each other because I'm this group's singular braincell, apparently :<"

Yes, they don't deserve an asshole like you as a friend.

Sunny and Aubrey are both friends no one deserves, actually. One is so unreliable he walked out on his bestie when said bestie was at his most vulnerable and the other harassed her friend for four years just because she assumed he wronged her

Hero's argument to convince Aubrey she does care about her friends after all omits the fact she stole one of her friends' property and then bullied said friend because of it.

Love that no one gives a shit about Basil in this game.

And you couldn't say this while you were talking to her in the church on Three Days Left because...?

>>"We should all be here for each other!" >>Sunny is due to move town the next day

fucking lmao

And that's it! Aubrey's redemption is official!

Except it literally took a single poorly-written rant. And a hug.

Because that's peak writing.

143/10 once-in-a-lifetime masterpiece would absolutely kill my sister because I couldn't watch the TV for as long as I want again

[crypticjackal13]

Sup!,

I loved your mayor x reader and your chubby S/O headcanon you did recently!

I was wondering if ya could do Mk,Mei,Redson,Macaque,and Monkey king with a YouTuber/streamer S/O head canons! ( fluff of course)

Basically their S/O tells funny stories on stream or streams/records themselves playing games and such

That’s it! Have a good day!

I'm so glad you enjoyed them! Writing for the mayor was much more fun than I thought it'd be!

Enjoy the Headcanons, this was super fun to do!

Traffic Light Trio and Shadowpeach (separately) x Streamer!GN!Reader Headcanons!(romantic, fluffy!)

Redson - doesn’t get the appeal or anything at first. They know what streaming is, they have watched streams before, but nothing’s really appealed to them. However they love your voice and just listening to you, so lately they’ve been tuning in while they work on projects when you’re unable to hang out with each other. They absolutely love when you tell stories about the two of you. Definitely becomes your top contributor—they donate money very often just so they can make it clear to chat that you are very much taken, no they’re not threatening anyone, why do you ask— anyways would 10000% be willing to join a stream and chat with you; they’re not really one for video games. If you’d like you can also do their makeup.

MK - your #1 fan!! If you have merch? He buys some. You’ve got tiers for donations? He’s gonna climb to the top. You need a moderator?! HE KICKS OUT THE CREEPS! No but anyways he’s super sweet and whenever he shows up in chat your viewers instantly call him out for being a simp a golden retriever boyfriend. He listens to your streams/videos while he does deliveries, since sometimes the drives get quiet or boring. Would totally play games with you on stream! 

Mei - YESS IT’S COLLAB TIME BABEY!! Her chat loves you, your chat loves her, and both audiences have bets and jokes about who’s gonna propose first. You two own each other’s merchandise. You guys also both have the perfect memes for every situation. She loves coming on your streams and videos one way or another, especially if you do her makeup/hair or she gets to do yours! Plays games, does motorcycle tricks, and vlogs! You two are probably the power couple of the internet. 100/10

SWK - oh, bro, he loves and hates this /hj. Definitely tunes in to watch and listen to you, but would probably freak out if you tried to get him to come on with you. Makes it clear he doesn’t want the chat to know exactly who he is or what he looks like, but he’s very okay with supporting you from the sidelines! He calls himself your #1 fan when he’s in chat, you only refer to him as your boyfriend to chat. Plays moderator for you every once in a while to get rid of the weirdos!

Macaque - soooo y’know how people react to hearing Corpse Husband’s voice for the first time? You manage to convince Mac to say hello to your chat and my god you’d never seen them go crazy like that before. He himself doesn’t mind talking to chat but he probably wouldn’t go on camera, at least not without his human disguise. He listens to your streams/videos whenever he’s traveling or having trouble sleeping. Definitely blushes whenever you talk about him and how great he is to chat.

[dominantslasherking]

Jerry Dandridge[1985] With Dominant Male S/o

My Stories are meant for the much more mature audience, 18+.

Background: You are Charley's older brother, who returned home from college just in time, to meet the new...vampiric neighbor. but you not only have a past but you are also connected to one another.

Moive: Fright Night[1985]

Ever since you hit puberty age, you have had, strange dreams, something of the past, classical clothing for both men and women, and instead of cars they had carriages. You dreamt of the same man--creature over and over but could never see his face, as it was always a blur. The dreams:....visions, never stopped even when you were in college.

Currently, you just returned home, greeting your stepmother, welcoming you, obviously, you were adopted, you looked nothing like her, she always said you had a type of 'allure' that was clearly different from others and herself.

"I'm so glad, to see you home! Come, lease, your old room is still intact, I haven't touched anything promise, only a little cleaning!" Judith: Your stepmother declared, tugging your tall frame forward and up the stairs, currently it was brightly lit outside, and you knew Charley was most likely at school.

Entering your large room was like a wave of nostalgia hitting you, there were classic horror movie posters plastered on the walls, and some of your drawings, primarily based off of your visions/dreams, but held more of a gothic texture to them instead of just plain old-century. You remember wanting it to at least fit in, and not wanting to hear your mothers questioning on why it didn't match the rest of your interests.

Slowly you turned to look at your stepmother lost in thought while looking at you, "What?" You asked, brushing your cold hand against the back of your neck bashfully, "Nothing, it's just, then you were so scrawny and young, but now look at you! My boy has turned into a man!" She was gushing with pride as she swiftly hugged out.

"Now, honey, you get some rest, dinner will be done later tonight, Charley is going to be static to see you again!" She gave you a kiss on the cheek, having to stand on her tippy toes to reach you, before she gave you one last smile and turned around, shutting your room door gently.

Setting down your suitcase, which didn't hold much in it, you take a seat on your old bed, which was sturdy and still as comfortable as when you were younger....you could only assume your mother and Charley had replaced the mattress.

Slowly without even tucking yourself in, you fell asleep quickly, the restless flight having delayed your long-deserved sleep.

<<<>>>><<<<<>>>>><<>>>>

You slowly awoke with a groan after hearing a loud thump coming from outside, slowly you groggily stand up, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness as you look out your window, and see a normal-looking man, and then an enticing one with a red scarf, carrying what seems to be a coffin.

Your mouth parts slowly, while, quickly shutting your blinds, after he nearly glanced your way. You didn't even realize you were holding your breath until you let out a huff of air

Exiting your room is what you did, Charley your step-brother, who, you basically always got along with other than the random brotherly fights.

Suddenly as you made your way toward Charley's room, you saw a short-haired girl rush passed you, glancing at you before rushing as she hurriedly put her jacket on.

Charley followed after, quick to stop once seeing his brother, "Holy crap!--[Name]!" Charley swiftly hugged you, as you both looked at each other, awe at how much you had changed.

Your brother had told you, that he had to go after his girlfriend, then would catch up with you later....Which you both did, or the past weeks.

<<<>>>><<<<<>>>>><<>>>>

Over the weeks, your mind had wandered to the strange neighbor who always seemed to come around at night. You had to admit, you were indeed creeping on him, through your window, but had no idea Charley was doing the same thing but has seen many different things than you did....more horrid things.

"You don't fucking understand!---He's a vampire [Name]! A fucking vampire!" Charley ushered out, pasting around his room, with fearful swear to drip down his forehead. Even though Charley sounded crazy...you believed him, by the simple fact of little details, the coffin, blood stains on his face. "Jerry... Dandridge--a vampire?" You murmured, Charley suddenly jumping over and handing you a cross necklace.

After a while, you had tried to calm Charley down, admitting you did indeed believe him, to distract the both of you, you decided to play some classic slasher films.

"CHARLEY, [NAME]! Come down! I want you both to meet somebody!" The muffled voice of Judith from downstairs called out, to both of her sons.

Charley rolled his eyes, pausing the film, as you got up from his bed, both of you heading downstairs, Charley letting out a low-tune whistle while doing so, clearly in a better mood after distracting his mind from the vampiric neighbor. Unlike Charley, your movements were slightly sluggish, as you let out a yawn. Charley was wearing a white button-up long-sleeve shirt, tucked into some jeans with a belt.

You were rather the opposite, With a black button-up long sleeve, with some of your buttons loose, then you had dark grey dress pants with a black belt.

After you had both made it down, you saw Judith Standing with a wide smile on her face, "Charley, [Name], this is our next-door neighbor, Jerry Dandridge." Judith spoke, causing both you and Charley to freeze, eyes roaming across the sitting vampire.

"Hello, Charley," Jerry spoke, leaning out of the large seat which covered his view, of Charley---and--oh...who was this?: Taking a closer look Jerry, visibly froze, before turning to a wide smile, even wider than the one he had given Charley. "Andd--what was it..." Jerry paused pursing his lips while shaking his head; as if he recalled some type of memorable scene. "[Name]..." Jerry slowly uttered with a low humming tone in his voice and a hint hit a sultry.

Swiftly Jerry stood up, walking to Charley and you while holding out his hand, Judith was about to say something for not taking Jerrys hand. But you unexpectedly grabbed Jerry's hand, staring right into his eyes. You were the first to pull your hand away, not Expecting Jerry to try and hold on longer; subtly of course, after realizing where he was, he let go of your hand and stared at you for a bit.

For some strange reason as you made contact with Jerry, you felt a strange pang in your chest, but you simply had mistaken it for your sheer attraction to the vampire.

"What's he doing here." Charley tried to mask his fear by avoiding eye contact with Jerry, "I invited him over for a drink." Judith answered back with a smile. "What.." Charley murmured breathlessly.

Before they could say anything else, you felt rather lightheaded when staring at Jerry for too long, as if a string of memories were trying to pour in at the same exact time, but failed because of the overwhelmingness of it all.

"Fuck." You huffed out, grunting in pain, as you nearly tripped over your feet, but regained your balance. "I need to go lie down." You struggled, seeing the amused look on Jerry's face.

"Oh--alright, I'll get you a glass of cold water, and food! You haven't eaten since you got here---oh I'm so sorry Jerry..." Judith spoke, both her eyes and Jerry watch as you stumble back up the stairs and out of their view.

<<<>>>><<<<<>>>>><<>>>>

When you made it back to your room, you just laid in bed without shutting your eyes as you stared at the ceiling, trying as much as possible to ignore the flashes of vision overcoming you. In every single vision Jerry fucking Dandridge was in them, 'the man of your dreams,' it made you scowl out in laughter at the thought...simple disbelief.

A couple hours had gone by, and as your mind had finally calmed itself with the rapid, visions, you assumed, Charley and Judith were already in bed.

What you didn't expect was for a figure to be inside your room, suddenly you shot up from your bed, sitting down instead of simply laying. "Jerry?" You asked slowly, as his frame came further into view, the moonlight striking his features carefully, in a blink of an eye, he was at your bedside, leaning down and sniffing. "You must forgive me, if I had known you were here sooner, I wouldn't have wasted so much time, teasing that little--Charley fellow...~" Jerry purred out, setting his palms on your bed as he crawled forward.

You watched Jerry's seductive gaze settle on you, his lips slowly connecting to your own. But you quickly and surely take control, griping your hand through his black curls and messing up his neatly done hair

Both of you devour each other's lips ferociously. "Jerry," You whisper into his ear while pulling on his waist, and leaving sloppy kisses down his neck. "Yesss~~" Jerry's voice slightly slurred with a sultry gaze. "I remember you." You uttered biting into his neck gently to leave your own mark on the vampire, however, you were sure it wouldn't stay.

"Good," Jerry responded, his head pulling away and tilting his head to look at you, his thumb trails upon your bottom lip parting your mouth slightly as he stared, almost as if he was making sure this wasn't a dream.

A low humming tune erupted from his throat with a wide smile on his face as he planted his head on your chest, listening to your beating heart, "My love....oh how I've missed you, my sweet mate." He purred out, gripping tighter

[perpetual-fandom-brainrot]

Creeping (2) (Dink x Reader x Link)

Basic summary: You're in Kakariko recovering from your battle with Dark Link. You discover you didn't come home alone.

A/n: I may have a problem with deus-ex-machinas... sorry this is short, I'm working on learning how to slow things down efficiently after a high-tensity scene. Right now my best method is to simply end the chapter.

This is a dark and violent fic that is not intended for children nor sensitive audiences. Read at your own risk

Read the first chapter here MASTERLIST

The sun shines bright on Kakariko village. Children are beginning to drag their parents outside so they can play, cuccos are being given their morning feed, and in many other ways life is starting to be lived. All is well for the residents of Kakariko.

Except for you, you're covered in tears and sweat as you heave with sobs after waking from a nightmare. Ever since Link brought you home a few days ago, the monster who wields his face shows up every time you sleep and mentally shatters you.

"Don't think- don't think too hard about it," you whisper sharper than you intend to, hoping talking will help distract your focus. "It's not here, it's at the temple in Lake Hylia, Link is going to kill it." You hug your knees to your chest and try to do more than just hope you're right. Your voice cracks into a whisper when you try to say it again, "he's going to kill it." You repeat it in a mantra, a hope, a prayer, that Link will come home safe.

"Of course he will, I got stuck with you instead of Mr. hErO," you shriek and press yourself against the wall, meanwhile this darker Link continued on casually, like he was used to this, "you just had to try to be brave didn't you? I'll show you what that earns in this world, and then I'll go recover my powers from that thief," he growls. Before you can register it you're thrown against the opposite wall of the room, landing just next to your door.

He saunters over to your crumpled form, gripping your face hard when you choke out, "wh- what do you-" before squeaking and shutting up. His nails aren't anywhere near as well-groomed as Link's, shaped like claws and steadily digging into your skin. You don't miss the glee in his eyes, blood-red unlike your dreams, as he watches.

"I don't need to mean anything," he begins going through your bags, "because it seems like the brave little princess forgot her fairy wings this time."

Your healing items. You had given them all to Link before he left for the temple again! You don't have anything to take care of yourself in case of an emergency, you don't have any way to scream for help with the grip he has on your face, and you have no vantage to fight back. Tears fall as you come to the realization: if he kills you here and now your death is permanent. If he kills you here and now Link and Navi will return to greet your corpse.

He drags a claw from his free hand down the fabric of your shirt, not enough to expose your chest thankfully, before dragging it in circles around the flesh protecting your heart. It races. He smirks and chuckles. Everything in you is screaming, screaming to move, screaming to do something, screaming to get away, but the better part of you knows that you won't, knows that you can't. To move here or resist now would spell your death. At least if you can convince your body to sit there and take it, to sit there and let itself die, things will potentially feel... easier. More like it's your choice to die than the whim of a monster. You can't even get your thoughts together to internally wish final goodbyes.

Small scratch marks begin forming from the circles he's tracing, "when this war first started, nothing mattered to me." It starts to sting now. You hate the look of satisfaction on his face when you cry more, you hate how much it makes you feel like he's taking you in like some kind of meal. He only speaks again when he breaks skin and you flinch, "and then I was told some boy stole power that was originally meant for me. Could you imagine it, the rage you would feel hunting down something that belongs to you, only for some stupid-" he tightens his grip on your face and plunges into your chest until blood dribbles past his claw- "little-" he moves to choke you instead- "girl-" you can't scream. You can't breathe. You can't do anything but tremble and writhe underneath the monster before you- "to come and take it all away?!" It slams you backwards into a wall, causing several fragile objects to fall off of it and break, and you find yourself fighting your gag reflex from having the wind knocked out of you when you already can't breathe.

At that moment, you hear frantic knocking on your door. "Y/n! Y/n! Hey! Are you okay in there?" The voices of the villagers outside is enough to spook the monster into disappearing. You can't bring yourself to move. You don't want anyone to see you like this anyway. If they know the darkness was in your home, they might think you're the one harboring it- or worse, they could think you're the source.

"I'm- I'm okay!" You manage to call out. "I tripped and knocked some things down!"

"Alright!" You hear the villager chuckling a little bit. Thankfully no other comments follow. You stand up, being careful of any sharp pieces that might cut your feet, and tread to your closet. The object of your focus hangs on the inner door. It's a simple scarf, one you typically wear out on expeditions, but you hadn't worn it to the water temple for fear of, well, the water. Now it would serve to cover the markings on your neck. You also opt to change out of your ripped shirt, silently vowing to get the rupees for it back from that monster.

Link, please come back soon. Please be alive.

[readbyred]

“And he’s cornering me in like a hunter does to an animal. This is not a sappy Casanova we’re taking about. Not a suitor you’re allowed to say ‘no’ to. He sees something and takes it. He’s not sighing dreamily at me, he wants to take me against my will. Or rather force me to give my whole self up to him! Do you even understand the foulness of his scheme?”

Literally obsessed with my limbus self insert! (And uh, my feelings for a certain character)

To anyone Polish that might be in the audience, this is my reimagining of Izabela. Yeah, Izabela Łęcka. With all those teens (largely teenage boys but that might be a skewed perception because of the friends I have) literally calling her a whore, I think the system failed us with this book. I get that the narrator is a self made businessman sigma, who can fight and help the community and all that. But my gosh, he was in his late 40s to early 50s, she was 25 at the oldest. And okay, some people make age gaps work. But not a creep like him

We are taught that she was cruel for ‘using him for money’ and all her sins are made out to be unforgivable. We cheer and write essays about the righteous end where she loses her father, house and is sent off to a nunnery because she “missed out on such a great guy”. Guys, are you okay? Let’s get a few facts straight

Iza’s canon stance on love

She didn’t want to marry. While used to being objectified and feeling like that kind of attention is a signifier of her worth, she didn’t want a husband. Nor love. The closest you see her to liking someone is when she’s giggling and kicking her feet at actors from her fav plays and cool musicians she likes or literally fawning over a fictionalised version of a Greek/Roman God (of whom she literally has ‘merch’). The only reason she’s even giving marriage the time of day is her father. A man who got them in such financial trouble that she would have to marry to give them any semblance of security. She showed her lack of interest in the main character several times and made it clear she wants nothing more than a husband who can give her family safety. It’s easier to understand the lack of loyalty if we remember that this marriage was never her choice. This wasn’t her happy ending, only a means to an end. So her fantasies of her fictional (well, the God isn’t but for the sake of my rant imagine this as more of a PJO version of Apollo) fave coming and sweeping her off her feet aren’t evil. We hate her because she was cynical and materialistic, but I don’t think any of those traits are a hatable offence?? Not to the degree we make it out to be

On their “romance”

Stasiek (Polish nickname from the name Stanislaw, bear with me) literally tried to make her father so dependent on him that it would ensure that her father (caring very little for her wellbeing to begin with) would basically sell her for a roof above his own head. Stanislaw’s plan was to get her no matter what and he tried to use their financial position to ensure she has to say yes. I know that’s ’so sigma of him to buy her all that stuff and help out the family’. But bro! He never bought her anything. He tried to buy her. That’s a bit different. She said she was unnerved, felt like a trapped animal as he stalked and watched her, trying to find any way to make her give in

“Oh, Kas, but she deserved it, she was a bitch!”

Where??? Was she proud? Yeah, no more than any other young girl who was made to believe that being the sole saviour of her family is a privilege. She was treated as a means to an end, a pretty object. With a price written above her head, she held that head high and used what she could to her advantage. She got shit from the author (btw that guy got rejected by a woman and then he wrote the book, you can see the picture, yeah?) for her escapism and being unrealistic, for that statue of Apollo and daydreaming. For seeing the world as a place made of wonders and magic. But my guy, what else did she have as a means of escapism from her bleak reality? She was constantly seen as nothing more than a lamb for slaughter, a puppet and a trophy. Due to being “poor” (at least for the society’s standards, she was well off so at least there I don’t have lots of sympathy, in terms of pitying her living conditions) people dismissed her unless they found her hot. She was talented. Passionate about languages and art. But this is a book about the new age sigmas who did local politics and dabbled in inventions (a world she wasn’t a part of due to actively being known for avoiding the stigma that came with women in those spaces; she was taught that she was a different kind of creature and to survive it was easier to avoid certain things in case they tarnish what worth she has left as a trophy meat). So we’re taught to believe she was dumber. That she was shallow for trying to make the most of the world she was thrust into and playing by the rules. She was cold and bitter upon closer inspection, mad at the mistreatment. The image she had of herself and the world forever warped by the way she was raised

And what about all the good the main character did for the community?

She doesn’t have to like him. Not even because he’s finding people jobs. If he was a good guy, he wouldn’t feel entitled to justify the way he treated her with his other good deeds. If a guy helps out at a homeless shelter I shouldn’t be a bitch for not liking him. And he didn’t do anything strictly for her. Only to ensure he was the highest bidder

Why was that wrong if she wasynt marrying for love?

Well, first of all he creeped her out. Yeah, yeah, we can go on and on about how she was an idiot for being uncomfortable with his scarred hands, but like, other than the authors bitterness seeping into the pages all I see is a young girl being very uncomfortable with the way his hands look because like???? My guy was fighting in an uprising and dealing with repercussions when she was, AT OLDEST, 10. Sure, I’m not shitting at all age gaps, but like, I think it wasn’t so terrible that she was put off by being reminded that this man was so much older. Also, a bigger thing, she was marrying to secure her family. In her ideal world, she’d be single (probably still objectified bc I don’t think she would heal and see herself as something more in that society), free to crush on her fictional fave and travel, talking to people and seeing new things. But she had to marry good. And in that context their relationship doesn’t make sense either! He came into money. Quick and with security that anyone would doubt. Yeah, we know he’s great at money and he’s the main character so it will all work out! Does she? Hell no! It’s not a matter of ‘he doesn’t come from a rich family so he’s not worth my time’. But girlie knew how easy it is to lose money, she was in her right to look for someone who, while she wouldn’t love, wouldn’t be a creep with doubtful financial security at best. If she wanted a good life for her family, she had to look for someone who wouldn’t be screwed if he was unable to work. Marrying into a rich family was never a fantasy, but a move she had to make to make sure she’s connected to people who will never leave her in a situation similar to the current state of things (I’m not fond of rich people and like fuck classism, but you have to be realistic about her motives, man)

What does she get in the end?

Her father gets sick and dies, not efore she gets shit for, for once, not being feminine enough to care for him in a good womanly fashion. Her whole life she was taught that the most gross, unattractive thing she can be is at work (bc of course sexism). Not that she hates it. That she will be seen as even more worthless if people see her working (I kinda see that like shaving? Idk I like it, but ik a lot of ppl who feel like they should do it bc the alternative makes th gross to others). You can uh, sort of imagine where that would leave her mentally in a situation like this. So, good for the man for showing she shouldn’t have kept denying him! Now she learns her lesson! (/sarcasm) Ah, and then her cousin takes over her estate. She’s seen talking with another man too much (that I might not remember but wasn’t that ALSO HER COUSIN???) so her last suitor drops her. The main character is heartbroken because he “got over the bitch” by hearing what she spoke about him in a language she hoped he wouldn’t understand, one he was learning for her. So he doesn’t want her either. The cousin sents her off to a nunnery and the readers cheer that that young, bratty girl got what she deserved for saying ‘no’ repeatedly. Like yeah, she gave in at one point, but Stasiek was so pushy I think a rock would give up, let alone a financially desperate girl. And yeah, it’s rude to talk behind his back but what about how no one took her complaints seriously? How she wanted to speak her mind in private to her cousin without the man she was stuck with listening. And honestly, if you want to hate her for her flaws, go ahead. But please, please be mad, furious even at him as well. Because if she is bad, then no good deeds should outshine his evils. Not my kind of approach, but at least that will be a bit more fair to both

Now that my rant is over, what did I do to put her into Limbus?

I wanna play around with a few ideas here. Mainly, her familiar relationships. In canon her father isn’t all that great but she’s loyal to him. For my own reasons I’ll throw in some mother-related trauma because this is my self insert, so I can. Many people falsely say that the book’s title ‘the doll’ is about her. It’s a common misconception, though completely untrue. However, I will definitely be playing around with that, as it might get on well with the themes that are already present. Those would be the loss of bodily autonomy and being dehumanised. She’s a Pavlov’s dog reimagined, a canine in a lab, who’s most desired when hooked up to machinery and obedient. With men gathered around, she performs all the steps of the routine she was trained for and any silly, feminine escapism is something she is mocked for by the older men observing. I will play it up for Limbus (because that setting kinda requires it) but I won’t have to do much. I wanna play around with her city being canonically vile and her desperately trying not to get to the financial point of having to interact with it, only to then fail. The gloves she wears are a meme in Poland at this point, so I’m keeping them. But, in the fashion in which the author treated her, I will do only one thing he might have approved of, which is adding to her misery. After she lost her home I believe her hands, still made of flesh (which is not the case for a chunk of her body as you can see) would also get scarred, a remained of a man she once tried to escape. With her parent being happy to do anything, even if it impaired her autonomy, to keep his canon gambling habit alive, I think her being made into a doll falls in line with canon. Not only is the world portrayed in Limbus intense, but even in canon she lives surrounded by inventors and great scientists, looking for opportunities to test their theories and improve everything. The last thing is that statue and her fascination with it that I want to underline. I have to make those selfship parallels work and an image of an attractive person that serves as a reminder of her humanity and dreams/goals is too canon to pass it up

This is not the last time I’m ranting about her but this is all for now 🐶🌸

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

You know honestly I still think there would be less controversy about Yandere Sim if the Dev had just stuck with it being set in a high school instead of trying to jump through a bunch of hoops to make it where all the student characters involved are adults.

If he just said "Well this is what the game is about, and if you don't like that, you don't have to play it." I feel like the majority of people who found that kind of thing icky would have loudly bitched about it for a while and then moved on.

Because now all those same people are hanging around going "But if they're adults then why BLAH and BLAH BLAH BLAH" about every little detail of the game that would have made complete sense if the setting was still in a high school and the characters were still primarily high school students but don't really make sense anymore because of the narrative changes to make all the students adults.

There are hundreds of outright horny games that have high schoolers (and younger) as the characters, that put them into far more explicitly sexualized positions and contexts than Yandere Sim ever has.

And I just never understood all the drama and freak outs about the characters being high school students.

I mean the player character is a budding serial killer who was raised by a successful serial killer, and people are freaking out about the fact that it was originally set in a high school and taking panty shots were a game mechanic.

Nothing that's happening in a video game is real, so I've never understood why people got caught up on those things.

I understand the people who're mad about the actual unethical shit the Dev's been up to, like the shitty things he's done in real life like mistreat volunteers and the people he works with.

But if you just think Yandere Sim's whole concept as a game is gross, I feel like you should just ignore it, because some guys pet project indie game that's been in development hell for a literal decade can't actually hurt you.

Like there's been people diligently just following the Yandere SIm drama for years on end, and I just don't understand why?

If you hate him and his game so much why don't you just ignore it? Why are you wasting literal years of your life for something and someone you seem to absolutely despise?

Is it enjoyable? I've never really hate followed something before, at least not as closely or as long, as I've seen some people hate follow Yandere Sim and all the Yandev drama and controversies.

But it just sounds like an exhausting waste of time.

Edit because I literally don't ever pay attention to like the actual game because it's a bad game and I'm only here for the fanfic and fanart.

Apparently YanDev is an actual creep who tried to groom a 16 year old, or at least that's what I'm hearing after googling what's up with Yandere Sim.

Anyways, I'm sticking with the opinion that it would have been better for Yan Sim and Yan Dev if he just stuck with keeping the setting a high school.

None of this massmarket appeal stuff, there's already an audience for what YanDev was making, so I feel like trying to appeal to people who disliked half of the original concept pitch (yandere teenage girl kills a bunch of other girls for love in a high school) was basically shooting himself in the foot.

I still think the likes of Lollipop Chainsaw is far, far more objectifying than anything that ever appeared in Yan Sim.

That is a game that makes it blatantly obvious that the only reason the protagonist is canonically 18 (waking up on their 18th birthday in fact) is so they can sexualize a high school girl as much as possible.

It opens on Juliet waking up and doing yoga stretches on her bed wearing only her bra and panties, while she talks to the player about how the invitation into her room wasn't an invite to do funny stuff.

And sure when creepy weirdos fap to it, they're fapping to a game with a teen character, but pedoes will fap to literally anything if they can connect it to children within their own brain.

Actual pedos will fap to literal children's cartoons without a hint of sexual content or implications anywhere in them, because children's cartoons are tangentially connected to real children.

Like there's a reason there's horny art of literally any and every children's cartoon out there. Sure some percent of it is made by teens exploring their own sexuality, but a pretty good percent isn't.

Not to mention all the drama shows that have high school settings that have stuff like shirtless make out scenes, and outright sex scenes in a few of them, where the objective of those scenes is to literally objectify the teen characters as much as possible.

Yeah YanDev is a creep, but also I can't think of a single thing in Yandere Sim as a game that is any worse or more objectifying about teenagers than I've seen in literally tons of more mainstream media with a teenage protagonist that's set in a high school.

The steamiest the YanSim game has ever gotten as far as I know is all the stuff involving panties. Like the panty shot mechanic, and the Ayano skirt inventory idea where her panties could be seen are the only ones I can really think of.

Maybe the ero manga that Ayano can read to level up her seduction skill? But that doesn't actually show anything beyond just the cover, so I don't think that counts.

Anyways YanDev is a certified creep, but YanSim as a game has never had anything overtly sexual beyond the panty stuff from what I can remember. So it's never really ranked all that high on my "Media where Teenage girls are sexualized" scale.

People who aren't authorities investigating him, should still be ignoring YanDev's creepy ass though, even if you do hate his guts.

I say this as someone who actually somewhat enjoys YanSim as a fun sandbox of characters and ideas to play with.

[lottiecrabie]

I'm going to share with you one of my bedtime scenarios ☁️✨ (this isn't like a request or anything, I'm just sharing my fantasies because we're all besties here)

but basically the main girl (it's not even based on moi or anyone really which is weird I know) is basically like awkward but not in that annoying quirky way. basically just someone who's not very good at being social unless comfortable. she's bland and pretty much like the other girls. sounds rude but I'm getting somewhere with this lol she's self aware and she knows that she's a bit boring and it would be okay if she was happy with it but she feels like her life is a bit boring and there's something missing. she's not a good girl but she's also not slutty - again she's bland. she has had like one or two serious relationships and although she has done stuff, she has never let any man fuck her. and she's not necessarily waiting for the right guy or something like that, she just doesn't want to regret it. and men are pigs so y'know. she's also not too worried about it simply because society makes such a big deal out of it that I want my girl to not care. and also because her past experiences weren't bad but they also weren't great. she didn't experience that bliss that everyone seems to experience which made her sort of not care too much about sex (I just love the whole "Matty just does it better than every other guy" so much lol) after stumbling upon a particular filthy post on Tumblr or Twitter, she becomes interested in bdsm and all that (nothing too hardcore).

blah blah blah

after researching for months she finally decides to stop being a coward and go to one of those private sex clubs (and this may or may not be based on a particular irl club lmao don't judge me). and basically they give you a bracelet with a specific colours and beads and they have meanings. her bracelet was white because it was her first time there (like karate 😭). her bracelet beads code for: virgin (no one's obligated to disclose that information, of course, but they encourage you to do it because (a) it's a sex club, no one's allowed to judge and (b) it's supposed to provide a layer of safety but what actually happens is that it attracts a lot of creeps and people only make the mistake of adding this bead to their bracelet once), inexperienced (when it comes to bdsm and that environment in general), switch (she's a sub but she is still in that "idkkk" phase) and open to meet people (some people are like "claimed" by someone else, only do scenes with one person, want to pursue instead of being pursued, or they just don't feel like socializing or whatever).

while she's taking care of the bracelet and all that with the front desk people, Matty is ordering a drink and he's been a regular for a while now so there is a level of familiarity with the bartender. Matty is 34 here and he just doesn't see the fun in this anymore. not even in a "I wanna settle down" type of way. he's had relationships and if they are into it, okay. if they aren't into it, also okay. he never had commitment issues, just hasn't met the right person I guess. anyway he just misses having a connection with someone. the bartender knows it and they talk for a while (how's the audience aka me supposed to know if they don't talk lmao) and then one of the girls Matty does some scenes with sometimes shows up and they go somewhere.

later, the main gal goes to the bar and orders like a soda or something without alcohol. doesn't matter. the bartender is super nice, you can tell that he enjoys his job and talking to people. so he immediately notices that she's getting attention because of her bracelet and tells her it was a mistake. it's not a lot of attention but it's starting to overwhelm her and making her feel weird. she's not the kind of girl people usually notice. so she leaves that area and tries to find a quiet place.

while she's roaming around the place she finds this area with normal hotel-like rooms but the walls are glass and you can see everything that's happening inside the rooms and that's the whole point - it's for people to watch. and again it's a bit overwhelming because there's too much going on at the same time: not only the people inside the rooms having not so vanilla sex but also the people outside. so she sort of takes a step back and she notices one room in particular: the room where Matty and the other girl were in. in my head, Matty isn't the kind of guy to like fuck the girls he plays with especially during a scene that involves voyeurism. I think unless he has an established/consistent connection with someone, he sticks to playing with the girls he casually does scenes with and he enjoys seeing them enjoying themselves so yeah. but idk, depends a bit on my mood tbh. the thing is that basically what the main girl sees is this really hot guy focusing on the girl (rare sadly) and as always more guys tend to go to these places than girls so the audience consists mostly of guys who are focusing on the girl and even the girls there are focused on the girl because Matty's doing stuff to her so makes sense. but she can't take her eyes off of him and he's good at what he does so he's just focusing on the girl and not on what's happening outside the room but when they are done he turns around and sees the girl looking at him with a bit of a dumb look on her face and he's intrigued because she looks so shy and surprised but how can she be when she dragged herself to that place. it's a bit paradoxical and I'm gonna shut up now lol goodnight

HELLO??? this was a whole ass blurb like there was characterization there were scenes there was exposition for the audience (you)😭 i love it why was it literally a bedtime story To Me. kicking my feet while i’m reading

so what happens next anon😁😁

[maneaterwithtail]

Why Belos role and characterization and treatment in narrative or character parallel bothers me

I cannot help but feel it confuses a therapeutic uhm... end goal

"Your abuser despite his (and it is ALWAYS a he) affect, power, influence, or even your feelings to him, is wrong about you and told you lies that control and undermine you. Leave them behind. Don't engage. Separate yourself and reasoning from them. You will be free and see them as powerless a shadow and not even need the same thing from anyone else. Because you have a more substantive and whole thing from yourself"

with 

"Abuser is inhuman blind liar and nothing like you so have no fear. Its all a conspiracy and you'll never be like him no matter what you do!"

This is a common thing. Over and over and over. What grants the greatest... win or catharsis or validation for the audience's hero/standin.  Moreso if queer representative.

Now, I do like the talk Luz has about this. And its meaningful, without prompting, she comes to this bad emotional place by her own reasoning and feelings. SHOWING how much she's grown and avoided being a Belos.

Its the "you were never alike along" that really bugs me. Not you changed and avoided that path thanks to acceptance of and by others so have become better. But He was conspiring and lying because that all he is which you never were doing (which is remarkably...untrue in my mind. Or says forgiveness is only for the innoecent uwu baby which no matter what the polycule aspirants are)

Moreover whenever its time to imply or make decisions its to absolve the likable or standins (or useful) or scapegoat Belos like some "The Devil Made Me Do It" figure which creeps me out.  I thought the entire point was to AVOID that

Its not that

there are guys so hateful so ambitious so DANGEROUS you had to use violence and people who willfully double down do these things. It sucks but.. this how it goes.  here what like and how we get from there to here and how deal with even the psychological aftereffects

Its that

said stubborn blindness in everyone is all sourced by this one conveniently hatable guy.. who also is just smart enough to cause and control all but you're just so smart and special and vigorous enough can't compel you, never did. Or he is stupid enough basic teenage stubbornness foils him time and again with little cost or effort but to the fee fees.. maybe  true defeat when don't feel bad anymore

Again it, to me, has always felt like at ODDS with where Owl House started.  A mature take on dealing with differences and expression and learning to get along and yes tolerate not just differences but 'enemies'

Not least because they don't ever have to

Hey? Girl who has career investment and resents you and etc etc etc secretly just repressed lesbian for you.

Hey? Guy who is true believer in cause and dismissive of everyone interrupting to it? Just woobie tormented by evil abuser. Not his fault and never going to hurt you because he's so nice and tortured. But also his beliefs have no validity or positivity and were never necessary.

Hey? Guy who avoids emotional conflicts and the difficult human investments, neglecting his relationships to focus on his hobbies and then turns people into components...for his self image is TOTALLY different than a stage mom because.. uhm... well she's socially ambitious and DIRECT as toneglectful exploitive in their abusive action.

Hey? Your teasing super popular bully is secretly just like you once they accept that they will have to get along (serve to) your goals while adding to your found family (staff and servants to ease your struggles with difference, labor, money, resources, or knowledge. Conveniently.. well save for occasional emotional maintenance whew no things and effort and time and work you value thought)

ETA Hey the family who blames you for your failure, resents your marginalization, and arrogantly wishes to fix you? Always outshine by you in clash knows less than you. And after come Crawling back to you benevolent forgiveness confess they cursed you! Once convert and undermine their worldview or prioritize you as to have serious issues with your criminal, self harm, and possible addiction behavior, then perhaps you can forgive them if will continue the obsequious or usefulness. (damn maheshwarens look at the clawthornes going there for the grace of God would go i)

Hey? Those horrible parallels you notice between yourself and people you hate is just an illusion put on by an evil white guy who embodies what you hate about society and authority or that asshole from that institution you have to put up with for your education. You're not at fault because you made a mistake and you feel bad about it and with perfect knowledge and power you'd never be like them so striving for same you won't do the same things.

And AGAIN i get where this comes from and why and even in some cases its necessary but tell me there isn't something just a little TOO damn close to

The Narcissist's Prayer (by Dayna Craig)

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

At the least we're at lines 6-4 for the lesson/character assessment/embodiment so with the NARRATIVE supplying lines 1-3.  Information always happens to clarify a situation so the initial hook gets put down.

​Moreso with the idea of the supervillain narcissist who all your own problems and bad actions can be attributed or sourced. (I avoid the Invisible man movie for a line implying this. sure sure I'm certain 'in context' its justified. that's the thing lines 1-3 is ALWAYS made 'in context with what feels a powerful idealized stand in' where things bend just enough for the character. Not really the dread female or minority character accusation word but close enough or evokes my same issues (have same or similar problems with Shinji, the world is or reflects or exists to further his depression so feels.. unreal)

Made worse because of the ... meeting in the middle  of the lines or the completion the problem isn't "narcissism" -which can be inborn in exceptions who are people or exceptional people- but also develop in you and me. No the problem is the "narcississt" this shibboleth (forgive my cultural appropriation and feel free to correct with better less sacred or more accurate term) Archetype Modern Folklore Myth ("but its real I used The Sciencetm not Re-lulz-gen") I Learned From Validating Empowering Source. The Narcissist is always a collection of traits in a person who is other and despicable who has made the real mistake of being both ambitious, respected, and un-ignorable/supportive down to the core. enviable AND stronger.

  Oh and Belos is always lying, to himself and others .. but doesn't believe or operate in a way to best support the lie. Say, recruiting a mob or authority or gang to go into the demon realm to enact a plan?

Why did he try that stupid lie? He's a MUCH better liar than that!

Heck he hasn't really had a hatred of Luz so much as witches and the demon realm mixed with an immature hero narrative that foregoes compassion or self reflection.

But even if it was ALL a lie. If he was at the desperate point he was willing to humble himself to the witches and Luz just to save his skin why be THAT preposterous?  

Because the only threat he's EVER allowed to make is emotional to trigger Luz/audience trauma in a way that them having been marginalized in a way very VERY likely shared but specific enough to neuroatypical queer younger people or folks who have been near such can very much relate to. 

Its like the bad guys in Dragon Prince becoming demonic untalking firezombies in contradiction to preaching following a religious appearing figure.

Too damn indulgent.

Have Raine, King Clawthorne, and Eda beat down Phillip or older Belos. not the Wicked Fals Wizard of the South East from The Bad Times of SUPER PATRIARCHY (and why its bad this season's finest ideological threads)

Have Luz hug her mom after resolute seeing his death, no "save"of her innoencence or responsibility. However vulgar, necessary, or more she killed a dude.

Just... stop it with The Devil Belos who is the Real True Evil because *insert things hate here* who if killed all his influence dissipates as to perpetuates because he's The Source Of All The Flaws, Even Yours Or They Were Mistakes After All He Doesn't Fit In The Found Family/Polycule Dynamics.

I guess end of the day I just disagree with

Dad Titan.

I mean in one way. The assume part. Hate can come from a genuine place. OR false place. Or an insecure place.  Or a narcissistic place.  I suppose not disagree with his point or even actions.

 Its GOOD he makes the distinction he does between Luz and Belos.  But Luz wanted guidance and she got validation, particularly the kind that without context doesn't guide to good.

Its why feel so adolescent.  Which is FINE as that the primary target of the show. But blows the conflict out of proportion with that target's ACTUAL challenges and needs and keeps the adult responsibility and restraint down to convenience if this is about her coming into her own as an adult woman or taking that adult step.

Compare Camilla's journey to Luz and its... off

Moreso for me the sense sending Luz to camp was 'forced on her' and was 'a bad thing' Lucedas should feel guilty for as to a critical step to better Luz and did end up for the best even in the equivalent of Luz's doppleganger/sister where it happened when she stood in as Camilla planned!

"You can do all the same things without self reflection or ethical consideration if you find the right ideology/cause or are actually a True Victim" feels easier to get than

"This is how you balance your dreams and goals and ambitions with the fact other people are just as rich with their own inner life as you. EVEN IF YOU, as entitled and rightly, HATE THEIR GUTS"

That's taught to the Collector, but surprisingly only when absolved or 'retooled much like EVERY OTHER antagonist before to be a new party member in disguise.. also weaker now with easier exploitable weakness so not have to tolerate the threat of his power and another convenient evil abusive older shadow adult is behind it ALL! I mean don't have to deal with the possible mind warping idea of a clinical socipath or someone inherently more powerful than you you have to WORK to habituate, rehab. Or he is too attached to his trauma and wrath and vengeance, or yoy have to develop and prepare means to substantially restrain/neuter/nerf/drug/etc

much same as not have to tolerate the threeat of Belos's influence or connection and effects. Or that he's one guy when need to dismiss him but Extant all powerful shadow when need to justify your actions that support your hero narrative.

[insanityessays]

Sorry Shakespeare, Beetlejuice is better

Or: I aggressively compare things that could be tangentially related to my homework, but instead I'm just over-analyzing things to the point where I'm more or less rambling like an insane person.

You know what happens when you try to analyze Shakespeare’s Richard III while you’re hyper fixating on Beetlejuice (the musical, the musical, the musical)?

Well, if you’re anything like me, you end up drawing way too many plot comparisons and end up working on an analysis that you could never turn in for class credit because the analysis you came up with reads more like a conspiracy theory or a discussion than an actual essay.

So, despite the fact you have an actual essay to write, you need to get all of the thoughts you have in your brain down onto paper, then throw that paper into the void. On the plus side, because this isn’t a fancy-shmancy class essay, you get to write it the best way possible: really casually, with bad jokes, and not properly citing in MLA formatting because even though citation formatting makes sense it’s kind of a pain in the ass to complete. I also put in swear words because I can. This nonsense took me multiple hours to write. I do not regret a thing.

While I was reading Richard the Third, I realized that Richard is a lot like Beetlejuice. And then that sent me on a train of thought that led me to drawing more and more comparisons between the two. So here’s my very hastily written comparison between Shakespeare’s Richard III and Beetlejuice (the musical, the musical, the musical).

So there’s one really big similarity between the two characters that we can see from really early on in the play:

Everyone fucking hates them

To be fair, in both cases it’s understandable that these characters receive a lot of hate from every other character on stage. Lady Anne hates Richard because he murdered her husband and her son. Understandable. 

Beetlejuice didn’t do that (allegedly). The moment Barbra and Adam meet him, they’re just really creeped out. Beetlejuice hasn’t actually killed anyone (that we know of). He just really wants to.

“Oh, Babs, I would LOVE that. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kill those people downstairs.” (I.v)

Both Richard and Beetlejuice then proceed to make a bunch of sex jokes.

This early in the story,  Richard is probably the more hateable of the two. That’s saying something, seeing as he’s up against a literal demon.

Richard is just a figurative demon (unless you’re interpreting the script in a really weird way, which then… good for you). 

Which is probably why the insults towards Richard are quite a bit more… intense… 

“Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!

Thou that wast seal'd in thy nativity

The slave of nature and the son of hell!” (I.iii)

Meanwhile the worst that Beetlejuice has been called is a “needy pervert”. 

Okay, so maybe it’s not that fair to analyze the two of them side by side like this, mostly because Richard is way more despicable, and everyone hates him quite a bit more.

But I stand by my point- they’re kind of similar.

Richard’s opening soliloquy has him basically telling the audience “hey guys, I’m the really evil villain of the show. My intentions are to be very evil. Also no one loves me.” 

“And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,

To entertain these fair well-spoken days,

I am determined to prove a villain

And hate the idle pleasures of these days.”

Which has a very similar feel to the DC version of the Invisible reprise.

“I WANT THE SAME THINGS AS YOU

TO BE SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF LOVE

AND ALSO TO KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE

AND BASICALLY FUCK SHIT UP”

Those are basically the same if you ignore the differences. 

Both characters are demonic figures that can and will murder multiple people, both are quite evil, and both have a lot of soliloquies despite being a villainous character.

The key difference is their motivation.

It is very theater of a character to explicitly state their motivations to the audience (either through speech or song). That’s because understanding a character’s motivations is what drives the plot forward in basically any story. Just look at disney:

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere”

“I wanna be where the people are”

“I wanna be like you”

Beetlejuice has motivations to be loved. He wants to interact with people, he wants to find friends, he wants to stop being ignored. The obstacle to this is that he’s an insecure guy who is also literally invisible for half of the show. Which is sad. It’s relatable to the audience. I relate to “wants love, bad at people” on a very personal level. If you look at the entire musical in that way, the whole thing makes sense.

Now let’s talk Richard III. What is his motivation? 

Without interpreting the character too much, there really isn’t much of a motivation there. He’s just evil for the sake of being evil. It isn’t really for love- in some ways he already has that. He gets a wife, his brother likes him, the children trust him, he has friends.

This is what really dampens the character of Richard III. I can’t relate to “I want murder” on a personal level. Arguably he’s motivated by fear for the second half of the play- he doesn’t want to lose what he has. But having half a play with no motivation for a main character? That’s stupid.

I’m sure that there are going to be people who are like, “he’s motivated by power” but to be honest, I’ve never really understood that. Power is a flimsy motivation. I want to dig deeper than that: why does this person want power? For Richard, there’s not much to go off of. The audience or the actors can interpret his interests, but there’s nothing (as far as I can tell) in the script itself to suggest his actions are fueled by anything.

So moving on in the story, both characters (kind of) get what they want at some point in the story. Richard is crowned king. Beetlejuice becomes alive.

When Richard becomes king, it’s a story of paranoia eating at him until he dies. Fun times.

When Beetlejuice becomes alive, he sort of ends up learning that he didn’t get what he wanted- for a reason. The things he thought he wanted weren’t what he actually wanted.

Sticking with the core motivation of “love” with Beetlejuice, it’s easy to see where each bit of his logic comes from. Mostly because he tells the audience exactly what he’s doing and why.

“Alone. Again. You know what it feels like

to get everything you thought you ever wanted, but still feel like no one

will every love you? This guy knows what I’m talking about, I gotta get

out of here! I need to really live, really connect! Everyone can see me

now, but if I were alive, I could get out of the house, meet my kind of

people. You know, socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. And there

is a way. All I have to do is convince Lydia to marry me.”

Essentially, he wants friends, so he needs to become alive. 

However, his plan to become alive involves tricking people and harming others- which is what leads to his death.

Which is where the redemption arc comes in. He realizes that you can’t make friends through murder. He stands up for the people he cares about, they kind of forgive him, then he leaves.

There’s a moment like that in Richard III.

Kind of.

“I shall despair. There is no creature loves me;

And if I die, no soul shall pity me:

Nay, wherefore should they, since that I myself

Find in myself no pity to myself?”

It’s the moment when he comes to a conclusion- no one likes him because he murdered a lot of people. The next act, he dies.

Isn’t that the most unsatisfying ending? He realizes that his actions were bad, and falls into this field of self hatred, then just kind of dies unceremoniously. It would probably have a greater effect if he hadn’t proclaimed himself a villain at the beginning of the play. He starts thinking himself a loathed villain, he ends thinking himself a loathed villain. 

Arguably, you could say that the play exists as Richard telling the story of his death, meaning that all of the soliloquies at the beginning of the play were made with the knowledge of what happens at the end of the play, and he comments on his existence as a villain in a form of regret for his actions. 

…Which might be how the audience is meant to interpret the play, as made more obvious by staging and acting choices.

I think I accidentally made myself interpret the play completely differently by accident?

But if that’s true, then Richard’s character is extremely weak for the beginning of the play. Without “evil” he has no motivation. With that, everything just becomes a very passive experience. If we have no idea why someone is doing something, there isn’t much drama to it.

I mean, you could argue that villains don’t need a reason to be evil. If we read Richard as the antagonist of the story then it’s a bit more acceptable that there isn’t much motivation.

That’s kind of the case with Juno in Beetlejuice. We don’t get the chance to explore her character very much, and she mostly serves as a final obstacle to defeat at the end of the story. In this way, Beetlejuice isn’t the main villain- even if he does evil things. 

So despite the fact that Richard has a ton of time on stage, and most of the choices are coming from him, and he speaks to the audience a lot, and his story is the one we follow; if we read Richard as an antagonist, the lack of a motivation makes sense.

But then I ask you who exactly is the protagonist of Richard III?

Well, maybe it doesn’t have one. It’s a weird play that focuses on a character who doesn’t have reasons for their choices- things just kind of happen. 

That’s a way to tell a story I suppose. While a lot of good stories are character-driven, it’s technically possible to write one without an active main character. Forcing Richard into that role makes the story not work very well, so why read the play that way? 

Maybe Richard III doesn’t need a main character that makes choices. Is that a terrible way to write a story? Yes.

Even if that is the case, Beetlejuice is still a better story. Because the actions of the characters actually make sense. There’s a part of Richard III that I haven’t covered yet.

Going all the way back to act 1, scene 2; Lady Anne insults Richard due to the fact that he killed her husband and her son. He ends up somehow convvincing her that even though he did murder people, it’s completely fine because he’s in love with her. Thus, the worst part of the play: SHE FALLS FOR HIM.

To begin, she gets mad at him for the whole murder thing. Richard claims he did not murder them, she calls him out on his bullshit. Then he makes a bunch of sex jokes. 

So Richard changes his tactic- he decides to claim that She’s technically at fault for the murder of her husband and son, due to the fact that he only murdered them so he could get close to her romantically. She spits at him, wishes him dead. So he hands her a knife and tells her to stab him. Lady Anne is not willing to do that. He gives her a ring. He pretends to want to repent, she leaves not as angry at him.

Which is the most infuriating scene in the entire play. Somehow, she ends up not wishing to murder him. Richard brags about it in a later soliloquy. 

“To take her in her heart's extremest hate,

With curses in her mouth, tears in her eyes,

The bleeding witness of her hatred by;

Having God, her conscience, and these bars

against me,

And I nothing to back my suit at all,

But the plain devil and dissembling looks,

And yet to win her, all the world to nothing!”

I’m 90% sure we are supposed to believe Richard during this soliloquy. Somehow, she fell for him in that scene.

Which is stupid. 

Why does she do that? Is it a trick? Unlike the end of Beetlejuice, where pretending to go along with the marriage plan led to his death, there seemingly aren’t consequences to this. It doesn’t lead to anything major happening to him.

On top of that, later she basically states that she did indeed end up falling for him:

“Within so small a time my woman’s heart Grossly grew captive to his honey words” 

Ugh, tell me this was written by a man without telling me this was written by a man.

Why on earth would she fall for the man that murdered her husband. It makes no sense.

Unlike Richard, Beetlejuice never receives actual romantic interest. He’s tricked into believing he is, and then gets killed. This makes sense, as he has threatened to kill (and has killed, in the DC version) people at this point. It would not make sense to fall in love with a person if they murder your family. This should be obvious, but apparently not to Shakespeare. 

Yes, I’m well aware that there are other themes in both shows. Beetlejuice is also about dealing with grief and moving on in life, Richard the Third is also about lying to people and trust. But when comparing the two similar characters and plot points, Beetlejuice (the musical, the musical, the musical) is much better at showing characters, making sense, and having a much more satisfying ending.

There’s also a giant snake.

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 21: Valentine (2001)

The depressive feeling from yesterday didn’t magically go away by sleeping, so I’ve had kind of a lousy day. Through fault of my own, of course. Actually taking a shower and getting tea DID help (hahah I did know this) but by then it was getting kind of late and I didn’t want to rile myself up to writing. Maybe I should have… I could feel some ideas coming back. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I decided instead to watch a movie and then go to sleep “early” (which, like I’m not up to absolutely ALL hours so I guess that’s something) and the movie I picked was Valentine (2001). I’d seen it before, not when it actually came out because I was a bit too young, but probably not that long after, when I was in high school. My cousin and I watched it together, which, in retrospect, was perhaps a little weird. Anyway, I remember liking it at the time in a sort of better-than-I-thought kind of way but after 15+ years I forgot a lot. I remembered the basic premise and who the killer was, though almost nothing else.

This re-watch… I would still say it was better than I was anticipating. I tried to lower my expectations again because at the time I’d probably seen like half a horror movie ever and now I like to think I have more discerning tastes. As a slasher, it wasn’t that scary: I thought the tense scenes weren’t terribly tense, and while the kills were, upon reflection, actually pretty good (Paige in the hot tub in particular was quite elaborate but I also like the death by arrows in the weird Valentine’s Art Exhibit), nothing in it was really that revolutionary. But it was solid; it was fine. I like slashers but I don’t really care about ‘creative kills’ so much because I’m actually a bit squeamish about gore. I did really enjoy the characters, though. Am I that easily swayed by a nearly all female cast, by a group of girl friends being friends? Perhaps. Perhaps.

The… message of the film was a little hard to parse in some ways. Maybe I’m overcomplicating it. On the one hand, it’s very simple, right? All men everywhere are horrible all the time. The daily life of a woman is harassment and loneliness as she is constantly beset by losers on all sides. Like, the men in this film were almost comically terrible in every respect. The blind date who talks in the third person and takes zero hints about your disinterest. The neighbor who’s always hitting on you. The string of terrible blind ‘turbo’ dates. The ‘wax it’ guy. The father with the bride young enough to be his daughter. The gold-digging creep whose business just needs one more investment. The pretentious artist who tries to trick you into a threesome and who literally can’t hold a conversation because he’s too busy being horny. The detective who wants to ‘do something about the sexual tension’ he’s totally made up. Even the slumlord landlord is a guy! This is a 90-minute film. Every 3 minutes another terrible man shows up. And there are scenes like the speed dating and the video date guy that seem to be there for no other reason than to cram in as many losers as possible around the kills and to really beat into the audience how much it sucks being a single young woman in 2001.

Even the best of the guys, the only one with multiple personality traits, the potentially really good boyfriend, is an alcoholic and he gets scary when he’s drunk. Oh and also he’s the killer, surprise.

So I guess in this way one of the ways to read Jeremy is as an incel-type: still mad all these years later that the girls rejected him at the dance, now grown up and systematically killing all of them. And yet, I don’t know, he was more than rejected, you know? He was branded a predator, beaten up, and sent into the system, from which he basically never emerged. And it was really one girl who did that more than any of the others, but the rest (save one, the final girl) were witnesses that helped seal his fate. Of course, the nature of the slasher is that the killer IS the victim of a prank, and then gets a bloody vengeance that can only be stopped by the final girl, etc. So that’s just part of the formula. You can see what triggers the violence without condoning it, obviously, or being on the killer’s side. Maybe this is no more deep than that: he was reacting to a real harm that was done to him, but in a deranged horror-serial-killer way, because that’s the genre he’s in, and because the other message of the film is ‘wow men suck,’ he’s able to hide in a crowd of loser suspects.

But in general I’m sort of inclined to set aside the whole origin story of the killer, honestly. Adam Carr as the killer, regardless of who he was presumably-pre-plastic-surgery is the real core of the film, and the story there is coherent. He doesn’t really need a reason, honestly, if you look at it from the point of view of the women. In this sea of creeps, there’s one guy who seems to stick out as not as bad: Adam. We know he has a drinking problem but we don’t actually see him drunk or scary, and he seems like he wants to get better. The love story with Kate is sweet—maybe it will work out this time! Except, just as with wax it guy or Mr. Dot Com, there’s a secret side to Adam; he’s a monster underneath. Kate didn’t know he was an alcoholic when she met him, as Dorothy points out. It’s implied that he might be abusive when drunk (“I was afraid you would hurt me”), and what is being a slasher but just another, exaggerated, genre-specific form of abusive behavior: literally killing all her friends and a bunch of other randos around her? He honestly doesn’t need a reason, any more than he needs a reason for being an alcoholic. It’s about what is hidden, not why it’s hidden.

Some of the kills fit into this theory because honestly I didn’t really get why he killed half the people he did. The women, yes, that’s part of the whole revenge plot. The detective, okay, because he might be a threat to Adam getting away with it all. And the creepy neighbor was being weird to his girlfriend, so that was almost chivalry. But Mr. Dot Com and his ex-girlfriend were people who were bothering Dorothy, not Kate—and Dorothy was really the one most responsible for Adam’s misery! And Dorothy’s maid literally did nothing wrong at all; she was just around. The only explanation we get for those kills was ‘well when a person is lonely and angry they just do weird stuff,’ which, okay, sure.

I remembered Adam was Jeremy but not the little extra twist that he is not either killed or brought to justice and I did think that was an interesting conclusion. There’s a classic slasher backstory, classic kills, a final girl, and even an ‘evil lives on’ ending. But the mystery is only solved for the audience, not the final girl herself, and she doesn’t actually defeat the slasher. She is actually still victimized, in part by being led to believe that one of her best friends was a cold-blooded killer. Adam had his revenge on all the other girls, and he got a particularly nasty revenge on Dorothy: not only did he kill her, but he ruined her memory, just as she ruined his reputation. He was branded a rapist when he was not, and she was branded a killer when she was not. And he gets away with this! And what is Kate left with? All of her friends are dead, and her charismatic and handsome boyfriend is left to pick up the pieces. She’ll rely on him more than ever now, probably, and ignore the issues that come along with his drinking, and any red flags of his violent nature. The true hidden terror remains hidden. He’s not a comically overdrawn douche of a man like the others, and that makes him so much more dangerous. That’s what the whole movie has been illustrating—ultimately, maybe, its whole point.

[raspberrilady]

Love Formula || William James Moriarty x Reader

type: angst to comfort

To be honest, you don't think you will pass the next exam.

William James Moriarty is a great professor whose reputation catches up, if not underestimates, his talent for teaching.

The quotations on the blackboard are clear and very easy to understand, and the quiet sound of crayon against the surface never sounded as peaceful as now. People suddenly started to know what is written in their textbooks and can even make some math-related puns, which send the whole class chuckling every time.

The problem with your new professor is that he's a little bit too mesmerizing.

When he talks, you don't focus on what is he talking about, but you let yourself drown in a melodic tone of his voice. The image of his scarlet eyes lives in your head constantly, even when he's nowhere at the sight, and as they meet with yours, lungs, in lieu of breath, are filled with expectation and butterflies that probably have nothing to do with math.

...

Minutes flow by. Time at professor Moriarty's lectures isn't passing faster than at other classes, because, at those hours, you try to enjoy every second in presence of this young professor, mindlessly scribbling some formulas from the board, and not noticing an increasing amount of glances thrown your way.

You sigh softly, feeling your wrist becoming sore for writing so much. Still, you have now six pages of notes! They will be the key to your upcoming success at the next exam.

“Miss [Name]...?”

At the voice, your head shots up in direction of the professor.

He's smiling charmingly, with no sense of disapproval in his scarlet eyes, only worry. “...Is my lecture that boring?”

“Of course not, professor!” You protest instantly, a dark blush creeps on your cheeks as you feel the weight of many eyes set at you. “I... I really hope that I will be able to use the knowledge from these studies to help other people.” His gaze softens at your words, a new sparkle in your eyes arises, but the guilty still seize your throat. “...but I probably should still focus a little bit more. I'm terribly sorry, professor...”

“Don't apologize.” He says, coming closer to you. The next words come out as a whisper, a comforting tone that melts you at the spot; you need to bite inside of your cheek to keep focused. “Let's just make a promise between each other, hmm? Come twenty minutes early before our morning lectures. I have on eye actually two other students, who are a little bit distracted, and I am worried that the next topic might be too complex if you don't master the basics. Just two weeks, and I will let you all sleep that half an hour more.”

“I-I will!” You respond quickly, and dark blush creeps on your cheeks. Now you don't know if you are more enamoured or flushed at the prospect of extra lessons. “Thank you so much, professor.”

“My pleasure, [Name],” he says with his chocolate warm voice and finally moves away from you; only then you can breathe normally again. William shifts his attention back to class. “Alright. Let's move on, shall we?”

You couldn't call it a friendship, but starting the day with a rather casual discussion on mind-cracking topics brings people closer.

The first lesson was accompanied by a tense atmosphere, the second by the nervous sound of flipping the notes, the third ended with no-good jokes, for the fourth everyone was prepared, and from fifth, you were back to living on crossroads of daydreaming and learning.

A smug smile appears on William's face and you realize that it's dedicated to you. The rest of the three-personed audience is carefully taking notes. “Bored already, [Name]? We are only ten minutes in.”

“No- I, uh, was... thinking.”

“Surely. Mind if I ask for your thoughts?”

“I, sincerely, don't think they would bring anything new for the topic, professor.”

“Some people would say that words change the meaning depending on whose lips they come from.”

“Yeah, well... The theory we were talking about is long... and although it is logical, it's also... not.”

“That isn't helping your case.” His lips curve in a sincere smile. One of those, that make your heart pour itself in warmth, and burn. “Shall we go through it again, step by step?”

“Don't you think he's so handsome?”

“You bet! I bet—no, I know, I see! Not going to lie, I sure would like to attend his classes. Who knows, maybe I would be more than just a student.”

And there is a laugh. “Very charming.”

There is something in those words that stir your stomach in a very wrong way. Two ladies that talk next to you are loud enough for you to catch every word. You don't want to let the overheard discussion sink in your mind, but their words still echo in your head.

You want to walk away, but an invisible force—you call it a curiosity—keeps your feet on the ground and makes you pretend that you're awfully interested in the book on your lap. After all, they are talking about your favourite person in this university.

How could you resist?

The first lady continues. “But really, do you think he would date you? I can't see him as a type to date around.”

“Try me.” The second lady replies you are sure she is wearing a smug smile at the moment. You envy her confidence. “Oh, oh, oh, look! He's coming. I will get him to ask me for a date, just watch.”

“Good luck!” The first lady laughs heartily, and you start to regret staying. Now you can't even pretend you aren't looking at William and the lady, as it consumes your whole attention.

They exchange smiles and polite formulas, but you can only assume that from body movement since they stay too far away.

Each minute passes—each feels like an eternity—and with each eternity your heart dries and feels very uncomfortable in your chest. They don't stop talking after ten minutes. Chuckles and subtle flirting (mostly from the lady's side) repeat more and more, and more, and... and you assume that the lady's plan is starting to work.

A heavier, more monotone heartbeat that you listen to, is the only form of reassurance, as you start walking again. Your step hastens and you find yourself rushing to get William out of your sight.

...Was it jealousy?

Do you even have a right to be jealous? Who did you think you were? You're a damn introvert, five conversations and some shared glances weren't the sign that he might like you. It was his job to talk to you.

...So, why, if none of these love-things really happened, your chest hurts so unbearably much?

There is something wrong.

The thought crossed William's mind the moment you entered the class, but at the end of the day, he was sure of it.

No more shared glances.

No desperate tries to answer questions or just try to guess the answer.

No flustered smiles with a pleasant sigh of the incredible amount of crimson blushes on your face.

None.

Instead of it, your eyes dig daggers in the book in front of you, as you don't dare to look up. Both of you know, that if there would be any form of contact, William would get a reaction from you. But the questions that are addressed to the class are answered with silence from you, and the questions for just you meet with a quick “I don't know”, almost whispered and without any emotion.

These two hours of lecture are some kind of torture for him.

It was hard to accept it, but he started to grow a liking to his “professor side” of life. And if not the perfect alibi, teaching youngers to use their mind to help the country, the reason that started to get important, especially in last month was you.

He started to think a lot about you. At first not in a very romantic way, but after a chat with Moran, who, if given, will tease everyone—Fred, Bond, and sometimes Louis—about their lacking love life, something in William's mind clicks.

The only person he would like to test Moran's advice would be... you?

William wasn't one to have the love distress that would keep him up all night, but he started dreaming about something else than changing the unfair and brutal society. If... If there was a chance that he is going to live...

No, he shouldn't be thinking that.

It doesn't stop him from figuring out what is wrong and why are trying so hard to ignore William's existence.

The lecture ends.

“[Name], could you please stay after class for a few minutes?” He says calmly as if he didn't notice how quickly you tucked your books into your bag. You look at him with startled eyes, brow start to furrow in worry, but you slowly nod.

It doesn't take even two minutes before you two are left alone in a classroom—a longer break, the dinner one, is always the most awaited one and because of that most of the students are rather focused on what they are going to eat rather than why their classmate is being stopped.

Very soon, you are aware of the scarlet eyes on you. You have spent hours watching your professor, but you never saw the expression he shows you now. It's the combination of frustration and hurt, which maintains itself only in those crimson irises—nothing else bewrays him.

“Is everything okay?” He asks casually when you stand in front of him. You just smile hesitantly and shrug. “I noticed you were more absent than usually, [Name].”

“Everything is alright, professor.” It wasn't a smooth lie, and he sighs soundlessly.

William goes through his memory once again—what could he have done wrong? Where was the last time you smiled so brilliantly at him?

You... You probably still were “okay” at the first lecture. So what has happened next? There was a break... And he was going to put some folders away... But some lady crossed his way and engaged him in a funny—in his consideration—discussion.

Oh, could it be...?

He starts with a subtle question. “Did the extra classes help you understand the material?”

“Yes... Yes, of course,” you reply. William hums in response and you speak up again. “Professor Moriarty... is something wrong?”

You got another hum in response but also a smile. “What if I told you that you're my favourite student?” At your questionable look, his lips curl almost into a slight smug. “You're very charming.”

“Wha... What? M-me?” You glance around the room, and your nervousness takes a delighted chuckle out of William's lips.

“Of course. I was very sad after you stopped paying attention.”

“I was paying attention! But... I stopped paying it... uh, later...” You stutter, cursing yourself at your awkwardness. “I planned to review everything in my room since we aren't... having a special class today.”

“Hm? Why is that so?”

“Ah... There was... Well... Didn't the lady from another class... ask you out at the last break?”

“How could I do that, when the lady I'm interested in is staying just in front of me?”

A disbelieving smile is more than confirmation of your reciprocated feelings. Well, William would know that even without it. The subtle mutal pining was actually going through its golden time and he was more than happy to use the moment, now that you know how he feels.

He smiles.

“I will be more than happy to give you proof.”

And there it is. The lust.

As much as whole William's existence is dedicated to the whole society, now he wants to be selfish. This one time, with this one person, who might always care about him, when the world will hail him as the worst criminal in history.

He grabs your chin gently and kisses the corner of your mouth, slowly pushing you against the board. You let out a surprised gasp, but just after taking a short breath, William's lips fully cover yours and your mind goes blank, into pleasant silence in your mind, where only desire to have him close to you matters.

His eyes don't close when he kisses. He takes unimaginable pleasure in watching you melt under his touch, noticing how you unwittingly reach for him when he pulls away. It takes all his self-control not to go further with the kissing, biting your lip, but he knows he must stop.

After stepping away, he notes with satisfaction that you still need a break to catch your breath and cool down the blush. He doesn't even notice that the corners of his mouth are twisting in a sad, longing smile.

It was only a kiss, but you thank God for letting you live all those years to experience it with William James Moriarty.

“Now that I know you won't forget me,” he starts, playful stars appearing in his eyes, “let me properly court you after you graduate. It will take some time, I am sure it will be worth the wait... What do you think, [Name]?”

“I...”—the words stuck in your throat. You're too dazed from the kiss and too happy to express anything with words. The desperate look in your teary eyes must be enough—“I will get there.”

And if you stay longer, oh, who knows, he might start regretting whatever he planned for the future.

“I will wait for you, then.”

[hello-nichya-here]

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”,  who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin 

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

[lostinprocrastination]

So yeah, I have more to say about the fight

Lenny's problem here is a deeply rooted insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. He loves little to nothing more than hanging out with Midge at night, cruising bars and comedy clubs and exchanging sarcastic quips during night walks because that's his scene. That's when/where he feels comfortable. That's the scenario in which he can actually imagine being with her.

Once he sees himself inside that fancy-ass apartment with a maid and polite and proper parents and Ethan running over him (like, where's Esther, by the way?) AND Midge taking care of him wearing proper rich person home attire with the apron to boot, he can't handle it. It's like the Midge he knows is a facade, some foreign personality she incorporates to navigate the night, to navigate being a comedian. She, in reality, is this "Miriam" person, not "his" Midge.

Here's the kicker though: it's not that he doesn't like Miriam. It's that he sees this life she has "during the day" and feels completely out of place, like he doesn't belong, and will never belong in her life. In rescuing him from that sidewalk and bringing him into her apartment, her home, she robbed him of even imagining the possibility of being anything more than a dude she shares a drink inbetween gigs every now and then. He feels like a "side piece", so to speak.

Of course this is insane because let's be honest, she could have left him in a hotel somewhere so just he'd at least have a bed or even stay the night tending to him. She didn't have to bring him into her home, to her kid(s?), to her inviting parents, into her life, basically. It's insane, but understandable, because he doesn't see himself as capable of doing anything more than roam the night, mingling with all sorts of shady people and substances. When he gets a glimpse of "Miriam", he doesn't see himself as worthy of that picture-perfect life. He doesn't see himself as someone worthy of *her*. Consciously or not, he was never mad at her; he was mad at himself.

God, there's sooooooo much to unpack there, and if those two last episodes aren't all about them going back and forth with one being mad and the other, sorry and finally letting everything out in the open, I swear to God...what was all that for?

Look, I have never, do not and will ever like Ventimiglia, but even if that supposedly "meet cute" at the park was gonna be with like, Andrew Garfield, I'd wish all the same it will be some two-minute cameo that was purposefully blown out of proportion so as to gather anticipation for this season (and to be fair it would be a nice gesture from Ventimiglia to ASP, considering he basically owes her his career). Like she meets this single dad whose kid Ethan likes, so she agrees to go out with him but when she tells him about being a comedian it immediately turns him off - or better yet, turns him on in a creepy way, like she's some sort of "lady of the night", as Rose would say, which would totally make Midge run away as far as possible - and then she thinks about that conversation with Susie about dating another comedian and how Lenny's the only one she doesn't absolutely despise. If this season ends with Midge finding someone that isn't a douche or a creep and continues dating him without solving these issues with Lenny, I just...

At this point, I finally came to terms with ASP being a jerk and I don't even expect them to get romantically involved anymore (in a physical way, I mean, because otherwise it's been going on since they've first met). That's what fanfic is for, I guess. But FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DON'T LEAVE THEM LIKE THAT!!!! I know there's still one more season, which they've just wrapped filming, by the way, so I hope it won't be too long before we get it, but ending this one like that isn't even cruel with the audience, it's just bad writing. It’s like, “hey, we have this incredible actor that has unbelievable chemistry with our lead at our disposal here, so let’s use him in a random scene in which they fight just to waste some time” and THIS is why I’m mad.

I honestly want nothing more than to have to issue an apology to ASP after next week’s final two episodes. I just have a feeling I’ll just have to write another rant. Sigh.

[erensrag]

the one -

armin x yn (wc: 12720)

warnings: nsfw/smut, yandere armin, obsession, mentions of stalking, manipulation, toxic relationship, armin being a creep in love basically. summary makes it seem like he kidnaps reader lmao he doesn’t

summary: having seen enough of you managing without him, armin decides to finally take matters into his own hands and make you his.

armin doesn't understand.

he thought he planned everything out perfectly. he gave you your space, hasn’t given anyone the slightest suggestion of his feelings for you—at least the people you both know. he wanted you to come to him willingly, no persuasion or sweet talks.

he did everything perfectly. he's the perfect student, always has been. has gotten straight a's since the moment he entered his first grade, received a full scholarship to some college he could care less about instead of his dream one because that's the one you chose, even helped you with your college admission letters. he's well off, could've—could take care of you your entire life. he's loved by everyone on campus and even in high school, he was the apple of everyone's eye.

you knew how perfect he was back then and how he's thriving right now so how the hell...of all people why him? he clenches the beer can in his hand, watching you stumble up the stairs with none other than his best friend.

this isn't like the other boys you've dated. he can't just threaten or throw cash at him until he realizes you'll always belong to armin and leave you alone. eren doesn't listen to anyone and even if he did try any threats, it'd just ruin the nice guy reputation he’d had spent years building up.

he throws the can onto the sofa, immediately trailing after you two before he can stop himself. he thought spending the summer in everyone’s home town would've just brought them closer—specifically brought you and him closer, that was the plan after all. not you and eren. you two have barely spoken three words to each other your entire lives.

it doesn't make sense.

he thought he knew everything about you. he had organized every single detail regarding you in sections and tucked the pictures in that little box that's been tucked under his dorm bed for years. maybe he gave too much space? college was undoubtedly stressful, he must've become too busy with his studies to look over you. to make sure you made the right decisions and weren't tainted by the hands of everyone around you.

he had screwed up.

but he intends to make it right. to put you back on the right track, the one you're supposed to be on. the one that leads you straight to him.

he found the two of you in some random bedroom, disgust immediately taking over him at the sight. is this who you were now? a few months of not talking to one another and you were already ruining your life by letting yourself get fucked by eren of all people in a bedroom you didn't even know the owner of?

his nails dig into his palms as he watches through the creek in the door, you guys didn't even bother to close it all the way. as if you wanted an audience. eren was already slamming into you, like you were nothing more than a toy dying to be used and defiled. like a whore. is that who you are now y/n? a whore? the more he stares, the more it seems like it. you’re on your stomach, hands clenching the sheets and head thrown back in pleasure.

the pace of his thrusts has you letting out high pitched moans, a bit of saliva sliding down your chin. "e—eren." you cry out and armin would've walked in there and punched the daylights out of his own best friend because no one deserves to hear you calling their name out like that except for him. it's unfair. so unfair he could fucking die out of fury right now. but he didn't. he stood there, frozen because hitting his best friend—anyone is out of character for him.

it would've raised eyebrows and questions he doesn't want to answer. but still...the way eren snaps his cock in you sloppily, the slap of skin against skin filling the room makes him bite down on his tongue to the point of blood. the anger is consuming him and he's not sure he can watch this torture any longer.

"y—you're—n—ngh so big, eren." you moan like a bitch in heat, tongue almost lolling out as eren grabs your hair, pulling your head back even more so he can plant a disgusting kiss on your lips.

at least you're still dressed, outfit clinging to your sweaty body. at least he doesn't get to see anything too valuable. at least armin still has that for himself. it's when eren grips your clothed breast that he decides enough is enough, he's ready to open the door and storm in the room but a hand is quickly grabbing his forearm.

he freezes, has someone been watching him? did they see anything? fuck, are they going to think he's some huge pervert? judging by his actions tonight, maybe he is. he slowly turns around, closing the door in front of him before the person can ask any questions.

it's historia. her pupils are dilated as she leans onto armin's arm. the booming sound of the music from downstairs drowns out whatever she's slurring out right now but armin pretty's sure he has a gist of it. "let's get you home." he sighs, placing his hand on her shoulder.

she shakes her head, "we—gotta...find y/n." she says a bit louder, clenching her eyes shut before opening them again. "my head hurts." she whines.

"that's what happens when you decide to act like a damn delinquent." he mutters bitterly more to himself, it's not like she'll remember any of this tomorrow. "now let's go home before mom kills us."

"but—y/n. we came with her, we can't just...just..." she clenches the front of his shirt before letting out a choked gag.

armin huffs, almost throwing her off before she ruins his clothes but even as annoying as she is, leaving his sister in a place like this isn't such a good idea. especially for his reputation. he would take y/n with him as well but it seems she's too preoccupied. too tainted to think straight.

but like he said, he'll make sure to fix that. he has two months to get everything back to the way they were. and maybe even a little better.

he's waited years for your friendship with him to blossom into something more but it seems nothing will happen without him egging a few things on first.

he spends the entire night tossing and turning, nightmares of the party before repeating in his head over and over again.

if it was anything else, he thinks he would've been able to let it go after taking a few precautions. but this isn't anything else. this is big and it only spirals the blotchy jealously he's tried hard to keep under wraps over the years, threatening to invade his thoughts with vile images.

he's awake long enough to hear the front door opening at three in the morning. immediately getting up and walking towards his slightly open door, knowing it's you. historia and his mother are sound asleep and besides his father who's rarely home due to work, you're the only one left with a key.

he made sure to pressure historia into getting you one as soon as possible the second he found out you were spending the summer with them. groaning fills the silence of the house followed by you stumbling up the stairs. he expects to hear you go into the guest room you're staying in or historia's bedroom but the bathroom door opens instead.

a few minutes passes before he hears you groaning again, this time louder and his feet inch towards the hallway, wanting nothing more than to go to you. but then that angry feeling rises again and an acidic taste resides on his tongue. he doesn't want to be angry at you, he's never been angry at you. he should be furious with eren only. the way he took advantage of your kindness and obliviousness isn't right. if you were sober, you never would've gone for him.

he sighs heavily, walking towards the bathroom door. you're slouched over the toilet, gagging into it and he races over. the concern is etched on his face as his hand rests on your back, startling you. you turn your head, movements sluggish. "armin?"

he didn't even have the decency to walk you inside? make sure you got into bed properly? fucking asshole.

"you okay?" he asks. it's the most you two have spoken to each other all summer.

"y-yeah." you wipe your lips. "sleepy." you murmur.

he gets up, putting his arm around your waist as he helps you stand. "rinse your mouth." he mutters and you obey, going to the sink to put some water in your mouth and spitting it out. "let's get you to bed."

you two stumble out of the bathroom, he makes sure to keep his hands around your waist. his chest constricting with want as he gets to feel you, it's been ages since you two have touched each other. he eyes your bedroom door, that's where he originally wanted to take you but he can't help but think back to that party. at how eren got to experience everything he wasn't able to. then he sees the bruises on your neck, he grits his teeth so hard he's sure they're going to chip any second.

no. he deserves this little thing. it's not like he's going to do anything inappropriate, he's not like that jackass who decided he deserved to touch you like that. he just wants to be near you. it's been awhile, too long. and it's not like you two haven't slept in the same bed before.

that's what he tells himself as he guides the both of you towards his own bedroom, slowly placing you on the bedsheets to which you immediately snuggle into. he eyes flicker towards the closet door, contemplating whether to take out a random t-shirt and place you in it but you'd just be waking up with questions he wouldn't be able to answer. the armin everyone knows can't even look at a girl without blushing, let alone undress her.

so he opts for just laying down besides you on the sheets, he can explain this if you wake up confused. that you just drunkly stumbled in his room and laid down next to him. he turns his head, captivated by every rise and fall of your chest. your eyelashes fluttering as you snuggle deeper into the pillow, letting out incoherent whimpers.

his fingers slowly trace your cheek, chest burning badly with want. all he wants to do is touch, touch, touch. you just look so beautiful, so serene. and he can't help brush a thumb over your bottom lip. the same lips that were moaning out eren's just a few hours ago. that dark feeling is back and he can't help but press his finger down on your lip harshly, you let out a tiny whine but keep your eyes closed, too sleepy to really comprehend what's going on.

what's so special about him? he doesn't get it. eren's a meathead. he isn't fit to take care of you, to cater to your every need and make sure you never have to want for anything. to be ready to do whatever is necessary to keep you happy, even if it means hurting those you don't realize are harming you.

he leans forward, lips ghosting over yours but never touching. no, he wants you to be awake and alert for when your lips finally meet. so you can see no one else in this world but him deserves you. but fuck, he wants to kiss you. your lips look so soft, so addicting, like they were made for him. and they were. every inch of your body was created for him just like his was for you.

he needs to make this right, make you see what was standing in front of you all long. he could punch himself for not realizing he needed to act on this sooner.

but he will now. he'll make sure to fix everything.

armin wakes up before you, not wanting to be in the room when you finally snapped out of your slumber. fortunately, you don't stay asleep too long, waking up only thirty minutes after.

he's already made breakfast by then, blueberry pancakes just the way you like them. you step into the kitchen and he almost drops the glass of orange juice he's holding. you're dressed in his oversized hoodie with some shorts, it practically engulfs your frame as you awkwardly sit on a stool.

you're wearing his clothes.

his clothes are touching your skin right now. making contact with your chest, stomach and breasts. he gulps, placing the glass down. "m-morning."

"morning..." you trail off, slowly drumming your fingers on the counter. "pancakes?"

he quickly pushes a plate towards you, he shamelessly designed it like it held a five course meal instead of simple pancakes but you seem to appreciate it as you gasp. "this looks amazing."

"did you sleep well?" he deliberately asks that question just to see you squirm.

you tense up, picking up the fork as you jab the pancakes. "yeah...uh sorry i was in your room and...bed. must've stumbled in there last night."

"it's fine." he smiles. "i slept on the couch, no worries." the lie flows out as if he didn't spend the last few hours cuddling you like you were going to run away any second.

"oh."

"what?"

"nothing." you shake your head, chewing.

"no really, what?" he presses, leaning on the counter towards you.

"well...i mean i wouldn't have a trouble if you slept in the same bed, it's not like we haven't done it before."

"that was a long time ago." he says but the fact you remembered fills him up with glee. so your mind hasn't been completely infiltrated with his so called best friend, you still think of armin.

"yeah but we were really close before...you know. i'm sure—"

"before what?" he asks, forcing the confusion to appear on his face even though he knows exactly what you're talking about.

you fidget, "before you started to distance yourself." you sigh, perhaps growing a bit agitated under his intense gaze.

"hmm." he hums. "well, studies and all that, you know how it is. but i'm sure you found plenty of people to fill in that hole i left behind."

you raise an eyebrow, "well...i wouldn't—"

"did you miss me, though y/n?" he places his hand under his chin, staring at you. "you walked into my room like it was second nature, snuggled right into my bed like it was home. it was pretty cute."

you nibble on your bottom lip, "i'm sorry about that. gosh, that's so embarrassing."

"answer the question." he urges, tone being a little bit more stern then he intended.

your eyes widen for a moment, "yeah—uh i missed you. didn't you miss me?" you ask shyly.

a far contrast from the moans that were leaving your lips last night. "of course i missed you." he nods. "you, me and historia were such a tight nip group back then. but then college came around and things changed. we changed, didn't we?"

"yeah, i guess."

"you never used to go to parties before and now look at you, stumbling in at three am like some drunkard. makes me wonder what else you've been up to." he continues nonchalantly, plucking a berry into his mouth.

you lick your lips, hands clenching around the fork. a few seconds pass by before you let out a laugh meant to lighten the mood, "i almost forgot how intense you can be, geez lighten up armin. your stare is practically boring into me." you play with the sleeve of his hoodie, trying to hide your discomfort.

discomfort. he doesn't want you to feel that around him. he'll have to change that, make you see his behavior is only intended to help you. protect you from the evils in the world because you're simply too native to notice them. "and i didn't even wanna go to that party in the first place. i suggested star gazing but historia called it dumb."

"of course she did, her idea of a good time is getting so drunk she could faint." he rolls his eyes. "anyways. speaking of change, did you talk to eren last night?"

you almost choke on the pancake, quickly putting the fork down so you can grab the glass of water and gulp it down. "n-no! why would i speak to eren? i barely know the guy."

you've always been a bad liar—always overexaggerating everything.

"just wondering. i haven't been able to get a hold of him. mikasa wants to speak to him."

"mikasa? why?" that certainly piques your curiosity.

"well, they are best friends and he left campus without telling her where he was going apparently. she's at her hometown with her parents and is worried sick."

"can’t you be the messenger or something?”

he clicks his tongue, walking over and sitting next to you. "i'm not sure this message can be passed down through me." he smiles, making sure your thighs are touching.

"why not?" you ask timidly, as if afraid for his answer.

"well, i'm sure you know about how...special their relationship is. right before we left for break, eren told me he was planning on confessing his feelings for her when we got back and then she just texted me saying—"

"what?" your lips form into a frown, doe eyes filled with confusion. it's so cute. so naive and cute. "eren likes her?"

"of course he likes her silly, everyone knows those two are head over heels for each other. practically in a relationship already. it'll be so cute when we get back to campus and see them finally get together, don't you think so? their bond is truly something remarkable."

you stay silent, eyes staring down at your pancakes. do you actually like him? armin refrains from a scoff, how could you be so dumb to fall for someone like eren? "what's wrong? you look like you've seen a ghost."

"f-fine."

he nods, hand going to touch the syrup in the corner of your lips. you look surprised for a second as his tongue darts out to lick his finger. "we'll be spending two whole months in this house together." he changes the subject, having accomplished what he wanted to do. he doubts the eren situation is over yet but he has all the time to permanently destroy it. and he will.

"don't we think we should rekindle the friendship? it's gonna be awkward if we continue ignoring each other."

"you're the one who ignored me." you murmur.

"i wanna fix that, i'm sorry y/n. i'm sure we can go back to where we left off, hmm?"  he lean down so your faces are closer together, your eyes widening at that the movement. "would you like that?"

it looks like you're nodding before you can even register what he's saying. you've always been like that. so compliant. it used to be adorable but now all he can think about is how eren used that submissiveness and naivety to sink his claws into you. no one can be trusted around you. only armin.

"y—yeah." you smile, sullen mood from the news he just delivered temporarily gone. "i've missed you a lot."

"i've missed you too."

"what's this?" you ask as you walk into the living room a few hours later, granola bar in hand. still wearing his hoodie.

"a fort?"

"i can see it's a fort, but why?" you walk over to the sofa, plopping down on it.

"we used to make these all the time in high school, and since we're going to be friends again. don't you think—"

"so a fort?" you hum. "you usually hated when we made these, always calling it childish."

"well..." he steps towards the coffee table, picking up the miniature planetarium he stashed in his closet a few years ago. "you said you wanted to go stargazing so—"

"so you brought the stars to me?" your tone isn't mocking but you do chuckle a bit. "i don't know if that's sweet or just—"

"i think it's sweet." he grins, walking towards you. "so what do you think?" he gestures towards the fort. he didn't spent the last fifteen minutes moving furniture and gathering almost all pillows, sheets and cushions in the house for this for you to reject his offer. he needs to see you with that look in your eyes, looking at the stars with admiration. he misses it. the last sight in his mind is of you at that party, eyes gleamed over with lust and that hammered look. it plays over and over again and he's sick of it.

"sure." you beam, not waiting for him to make the first move as you crawl into the fort. the sanctuary he made for just the two of you.

he goes in after you, thighs touching yours as you sit next to each other. he made the insides small on purpose, just so he could feel you. he turns the projector on and you both watch as the speckles of light start to form on the sheets.

"whoa." you mutter to yourself, entrapped by the glowing of the luminescent blues and purples. "you really did all this for me?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip.

"wouldn't be the first time i went all out for you." he moves closer to you, breathing fanning on your face. "i'd do anything for you y/n, i thought you knew that already."

you're his. he should do whatever it takes to care of what's his.

you stare at him, a definite picture of of purity with those big mesmerizing eyes. your mouth gapes open trying to come up with a response but nothing comes out. armin watches a bead of sweat trail down your forehead, it's almost scorching in here. he knows it would've happen in this summer heat so he slowly picks up the mini electric. "hot?"

"w-what about you?" you ask, visibly swallowing a lump in your throat.

he hesitates. c'mon armin. just be a man. so he wraps his hand around your waist and you recoil in surprise as he brings you into his lap so the fan is on both of your bodies. you place your hand on his thighs, squirming to get into a comfortable position. "a-armin..." you laugh, it's awkward. you're trying to ease the tension but he doesn't want that, he just wants to be near you,  consequences be damned.

he's usually smarter than this. smarter than acting before he thinks but that night won’t stop haunting him so he smiles as he leans his chin on your shoulder. "what? am i making you uncomfortable?"

"w—well no but...it's just very sudden. you were acting as if i didn't exist just a few days ago and you're now—"

"i just wanted to touch you y/n. it's been years without your touch." he whispers, resisting the urge to nibble on your earlobe. "didn't you miss me? miss my touches?" he asks innocently, wrapping both his hands around your waist to pull you closer. your back is flushed against his chest, ass directly on his crotch and it takes a lot of will power not to get a hard on.

"i did." you nod eagerly. "of course i did."

"so let me treat you for all those times i missed."

"okay." you say, seemingly without thinking.

"wanna get some barbecue tomorrow ?"

"i have to meet my parents. y'know, getting yelled at for my major. the usual."

he frowns. "they're still mad about that? you should talk to them."

"you know they never listen to me." you squirm again on his lap but abruptly stops as you realize where exactly you're sitting. "it's fine, i barely talk to them anyways. i'm sure they'll finally get over it once i graduate."

he should comfort you, say something along the lines of they'll come around or don't worry but instead what comes out is none of those. "you don't need them." he rustles against you. "i'll always support you y/n. like i always have"

even if you weren't aware, he was mostly always in the shadows and making sure you got everything you wanted. "well, they are my parents."

"they've never cared enough to listen to you, to see you." his tone changes, voice low now as more sweat beads down his forehead. "none of them have, have they?"

"i—i...i'm sure—"

"historia doesn't see you? does she? she says she's your best friend but she treats you like a lackey y/n. isn't that infuriating?"

you scoff, "that's not true." you go to get off his lap but he tightens his hold on you. he just needs to say this.

"is that why she rejected your offer of stargazing? why she always made fun of your outfit choices back in high school? she was always jealous of you, don't you see that? you're better than that, better than all of them." every single one.

he wishes he could see your face but he settles for this, just for this simple touch. "i don't know what you want me to say to that, armin." you breath out.

"i want you to see your worth, y/n. you deserve better than all of this. don't you think so? you deserve the world." he can't help himself as he leans into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

you're not creeped out, or at least you're not attempting to get up anymore. "and what, you can give me that? is that what you're saying?"

he wasn't meant to have this type of conversation right now, it was just supposed to be a nice evening of laying down in this fort. but he saw an opportunity and why not take it?

"you know i can." he answers. "you know i'd do anything for you."

you turn your head slightly, looking at him. "really?" you question. "anything?" you sound intrigued and he swears you're leaning in, it's not his imagination right? you really are.

but before your lips can even brush against each other, historia's screeching voice booms in the living room. "y/n! it's time to get ready."

you quickly get off, almost throwing yourself to the ground as you scoff awkwardly. as if being knocked out of a trance. you don't even spare armin a glance as you crawl out.

get ready for what?

"another party?" armin leans on the doorway frame, watching his sister apply her makeup. "you two went to one just last night—and halloween themed? it's the middle of summer."

"that's what makes it fun!" she smiles, putting the blush down and standing up. she decided to go as a cat. or at least, he thinks it's a cat. drawn on whiskers with an ear headset, a damn tail, short dress with long fishnets.

she looks like a whore. she's been acting like a whore ever since summer started and he realizes maybe that's why you’re acting so different. you live near each other in the dorms and historia must be rubbing off of you.

he tries and keeps his outrage down as historia gets up, walking towards the door. "we'll be back at twelve...hopefully."

"no, you'll be back at twelve." he grits his teeth. "you'll get drunk like an idiot dear sister, and leave y/n all alone at some strangers house. again."

she blushes, offended at the assumption. "you're the one who brought me home last night, why are you blaming it on—"

"would mother appreciate this? you dressed up like a skank and going to a party two nights in a row?"

he shouldn't be saying this. it's not in his character and it's obvious historia is completely staggered at his behavior. "she's barely home and i doubt she cares what i do at night. unlike you, i haven't made it my life to be the perfect—"

"but i care." he's walking towards her before he can stop himself. "i care about the way you're treating y/n. dragging her to parties, getting her drunk so assholes can take advantage then leaving her high and dry. you're a bad influence, dear sister and it's truly annoying seeing you trying to turn her into some gross replica of you. she's not like that, she's not tainted like you. she's pure and i won't let—"

"you're hurting me jackass!" she whimpers and it's only then armin realizes he's seized her wrist, digging his nails into the skin.

he quickly lets go, clearing his throat. "sorry, just stressed from school."

the annoyance is clear in her eyes along with the rage but armin notices something else...a hint of fear? he scared her? fucking great. watch as she goes and rants to mother about her asshole of an older brother resulting in talks he definitely doesn't want to have.

"if you're so worried about y/n, come to the party like you did last night. keep an eye on your precious doll." she scoffs, shoving him away so she can step out the door, rubbing at her wrist.

that's not a total bad idea. it's a perfect way to get closer to you without seeming like a total creep plus he can keep eren and his greedy claws away. he quickly walks towards your door, knocking once before you're opening. his mouth nearly gapes open at the sight of you, how is it always possible for him to be blown away by your beauty every time he sees you? you're dressed in a short white dress, wearing a halo headset with wings.

an angel? fitting. very very fitting.

"you like it?" you grab the ends of the dress, showing it off. he notices you try very hard to not look at him in the eyes. "couldn't decide between a bride or angel. historia wanted me to go as a sexy nurse but i didn't really have—"

"gorgeous. you look gorgeous." it flows out of his tongue so smoothly it has the both of you tensing up.

"really?" you quirk an eyebrow, clearing your throat and finally looking at him. it feels so damn awkward—at least to you but you try to act normal nonetheless. "i expected a swarm of insults, you hate things like that."

"do i think having a halloween themed party in the middle of summer is completely and utterly idiotic? yes. but it doesn't deter from your blinding beauty."

a shy smile gathers on your face, "uh...thanks."

"ready to go? i'm driving.”

your eyes widen, "you? going to a party twice in a row? going to a party at all? are you okay?" your hand is quickly going to touch his forehead before he can comprehend what's going on. his cheeks immediately blaze red, taking a quick step back.

you take your hand away, letting out an uneasy laugh. "it's just a tough armin, not like i was going to stab you or something."

"i know—"

"you say you want our friendship back but you act like this...it's weird." you huff. "you've been acting weird ever since we left for college, no—you've been acting like an ass and i've let it go but this summer means a lot to me. i'm finally having fun for once in my life and i don't need you to come in and confusing me and—and what the hell was that fort—"

"i was just surprised!" he cuts off, tone more urgent than he wants it to be. "i do want us to be friends again!" he deliberately ignores the fort question.

he just wasn't prepared for the feeling of your skin against his in that moment. it’s usually him initiating the touches, not the other way around. he swallows the lump in his throat, quickly taking your hand in his. "i didn't mean to insult you. of course i want your touch, who wouldn't want it? you're—" he stops talking. stop it. stop it. he's babbling. "let's just go."

you nod, smiling again. at least you're not creeped out by his behavior.

the party is boring. it's only been an hour and he's bored out of his damn mind. other than drunk girls coming up to him and asking him what's he's supposed to be even though it's pretty freaking obvious he's not wearing a costume—the random loud shouting as someone starts taking shots is enough to drive him out of his mind.

but at least you're here.

he's made sure to keep an eye on you the second you guys got here. you've mostly been outside on the patio, drinking punch as you dance with some friends. he occasionally touches his lips, thinking of how close they were to yours in that fort. the way you looked at him was filled with...well you definitely didn't look at eren like that last night. speaking of the devil— "eren." he smiles tightly as his friend sits next to him on the sofa. "vampire?" he asks, eyeing his costume.

"is that alcohol?" he looks at the cup in armin's hand. "i need to get drunk immediately."

"it's water."

"water. of course it's water." he chuckles. "what else do i expect from mr goody two shoes?"

armin rolls his eyes, "why are you so desperate to find a way to act like even more of an idiot?" he mutters as if there aren't piles of cups around them, not to mention the cases of beer he's sure are in the fridge.

"nothing." he groans, leaning against the couch. "it's a party. getting drunk is what you're supposed to do."

"hmmm." he hums. "just thought it had to do with something else."

"like what?"

"well...i saw you and y/n the other night, getting it on."

"please never say getting it on ever again." he grins, sitting back up.

he's grinning...as if he didn't just commit a great sin against armin. didn't put his hands on armin's girl, didn't...he grits his teeth. how can he act so careless? as if he had any right to do what he did last night?

"do you like her?"

eren arches an eyebrow, looking at him. "what's it to you?"

"you don't do relationships. you hump and dump and y/n and i are very close. i don't want her becoming one of your victims."

"that's none of your business." he scoffs.

"just answer the question." his eyes bore into the others, clenching the cup in his hand to the point the liquid is overflowing onto his lap but he could care less. "cause if so, that's really pathetic. she always expresses how much of a idiot you are, it's funny really. how she had to be drunk to finally sleep with you."

"she wasn't drunk." he says through gritted teeth. "we were both a little tipsy but not drunk enough to—"

"why are you even doing this with her? she doesn't like you."

"again. it's none of your business." eren deadpans. "what's wrong with you tonight? we're both—"

"you're right." armin sighs, letting out an exaggerated laugh like he's just realized how crazy he sounds. even though he knows he’s acting perfectly sane right now, who wouldn’t be mad if they discovered what armin did? "i'm being weird, i'm just really protective of y/n. she's like family to me, you know that."

eren bites his lip, still a bit tense but nods nonetheless. "i'm not doing anything...like that with her. i genuinely wanna see where things go."

oh.

he's not sure which answer would've been better but he shakes his head okay, licking his now dry lips. "wanna get drunk on the roof? just like we used to?"

"you mean i got drunk and you sat there, silently judging me." eren corrects, anxious atmosphere from before now gone. armin likes that about him. quick to forget and never holds grudges. "but sure, i'll get the beer."

"i have to go pee, see you on the roof." he salutes before eren walks into the kitchen. his eyes instantly travel towards you, feet dragging themselves towards the patio before he can stop.

he just wants to ask if you're okay before he departs, see if you don't need any assistance. you're surrounded by people...but it's people he doesn't trust. he doesn't trust anyone with you. for good reasons. before he can walk further to tap your shoulder, he hears the conversation you're having with abby—he thinks that's her name.

she's been over for sleepovers many times. never really liked armin, that's for sure. he's heard her call him fake at least two times, saying someone can't actually be that nice or perfect. fucking abby. why is she talking to you? he should've gotten rid of her long ago, sabotaged the friendship as soon as he realized her bad influence.

"just ask him out!" he hears her squeal. "literally, what are you waiting for? he's so hot."

something tells him she's not fangirling like this  over armin.

"it's just...it's gonna be awkward!" you sigh, leaning against the wall. see? you can make good choices all by yourself, it's the people around your corrupting you. warping your thoughts until they're no longer your own. "he's armin's best friend and—"

"ugh! who cares about that boring walking encyclopedia!" abby groans heavily. "eren is probably the most popular guy on campus, have you seen those abs? ask him out or i will!" she laughs and armin knows she's not joking.

"he's not...boring." you mutter. "he's actually a pretty cool guy and—"

"you're probably the only one who thinks that." she rolls her eyes.

she interrupted you again. why is she always interrupting you? and why do you never speak up on it?

"ask eren out! c'mon, who cares about what armin thinks? his head is too busy being buried in books to notice anyone else regardless." she shakes your hand frantically.

you squirm, slowly nodding. "maybe. i might. eren doesn't seem to be totally av—"

"gotta go pee." she lets go of your hand. "drank way too much beer."

"want me to go with you?"

you're so nice. why are you so nice?"

"no, it's fine. it'll only take two seconds." she smiles, walking back inside. armin already made himself scarce the second she turned around, watching her walk up the stairs.

he should just go to the roof, talk to eren...but it seems eren isn't the only one standing in the way of his relationship with you. everyone wants to jeopardize it and he's had enough. so he's walking upstairs, not second guessing himself as he makes his way to the bathroom. he's been to this mansion many times before, his mother always having dinner with the owner of it to get into their good graces.

it doesn't take long before he finds it, the hallway is empty and he can hear abby inside. giggling nonsense to herself as she pees. she's drunk. probably wouldn't even remember his face.

he's not sure what he exactly plans to do but the second the door opens, he's immediately shoving her back inside. hands going to rest against her throat and mouth. fuck, he should've thought this through but all he can see right now is blind fury. people keep trying to tear you two apart and it's fucking with his brain. makes him so furious he just wants to punch everything in sight.

abby is screeching, trying to get out of his grip but she's a petite girl. barely weighing a hundred pounds. her back is to his chest and he prays she won't recognize him by the sound of his voice but even if she did...who cares? no one would believe her anyways. so he chuckles, not bothering to mask his voice.

"why do you keep getting in my way abby?" he sighs, applying a bit more pressure to her throat to which she whimpers at. "i don't want to hurt you so let this be a warning, hmm? stay away from y/n. never talk to her again, don't even think about her. that friendship is dead as of tonight? don't you think so?"

she only whimpers louder, trying to free herself so he applies even more pressure. she's now choking, little gasps trying to come out. "you're all trying to ruin her, it's so fucking annoying. just away, okay? it's simple enough, right? i'm going to let go now, don't turn around, don't scream unless you want me to break your windpipe? do you want that, abby?"

he's not sure he even knows how to break a damn windpipe, at least not yet but she doesn't know that. she nods frantically, tears flowing down her cheeks and onto armin's fingers. "great, now run away. all the way home." he lets her go and she doesn't need to be told twice as she bolts out of the room.

well, that was easy. he refrains from laughing as he leans on the doorway. she was all bark and no fight. always insulting armin but suddenly turning into a pathetic, sniveling bitch once he actually does something in retaliation.

he's feeling confident tonight, smiling ear to ear as he walks towards an open bedroom. the balcony door is wide open and he steps out onto it. climbing onto the roof doesn't take much effort, he's been doing it with eren for years.

speaking of eren.

another problem he needs to fix.

getting eren drunk isn't a hard thing to do. it only took a few minutes on the roof before he was slurring his speech. fortunately armin got them both back down on the balcony before the other could gravely injure himself.

injuring his best friend badly isn't on his to do list. at least physically. eren grips his forearm as armin lays him down on a random chair, the summer air causing eren's hair to flow around.

he understands why y/n is so smitten, he guesses. he's a pretty good looking guy. but so is armin. isn't he? he got rid of that haircut he would always get teased for, went to the gym a few nights and developed actual abs, don’t girls love abs...so why him? is it because he's popular? maybe cause he didn't wait eons to make a move like armin is currently doing.

whatever.

soon enough, he's going to be out of the equation.

eren's too inebriated to even realize where he is. this won't be hard, not one bit. "eren." armin sings. "i dare you to punch that railing." he leans against said railing, watching eren's sluggish movements as he stands up.

he's a jock, they love stupid dares. especially when they're drunk. eren scoffs in disbelief, offended armin even had to dare him. like he would've done it regardless. "easy."

"you sure you won't hurt yourself?" at least too badly.

he rolls his eyes and before armin can blink, his knuckles are slamming into the railing. he actually did it. why are jocks so easy? "that was so weak." armin challenges. "lame."

eren punches it again without saying anything, then again and again and armin has to hold him back and push him back on the chair before he's breaking his own bones. he examines his knuckles, bruised and bloodied. just like he wanted them. "h..how was that? cool right?" he slurs, smiling happily to himself.

admin nods, "very cool. now go to sleep." he hums lightly, patting the others head again until he's snuggling into the chair.

armin waits a few minutes until he's sure eren's finally sleeping. he walks towards the wall, letting out a few puffs to brace himself. he's doing all this for you. it'll be fine. he can do it.

he doesn't allow himself to think twice before he's slamming his forehead into the wall. fuck. fuck that hurts. but he can do it. it's for y/n. it's for their relationship. he can do it. so he does it again, and again until blood is dripping down his face.

fucking hell, it hurts.

he winces as he takes out his phone, wiping the blood on the wall with the sleeve of his sweater. he dials your number and you answer on the first ring. so perfect. so damn perfect.

"hey! where'd you disappear to?" your chirpy voice says on the other line.

"y/n." he makes sure to add emphasis on his voice, "c-can you come upstairs to the balcony? second bedroom on your right."

"uh...sure. are you okay?"

he decides to hang up at that, you're coming so there's no reason to continue talking. dots start to form in his eyes, he should've expected that. slamming your head repeatedly onto a wall will do that to someone.

you arrive not twenty seconds later, hurrying up into the room and gasping once you see the sight of him. "oh my gosh!" you rush over, placing a hand on his shoulder as your examine his face. "what ha—" it's then that you notice a sleeping eren in the seat next to you two.

and normally you wouldn't even jump to such a conclusion but with the way eren's knuckle is bruised...armin left little to be assumed. "don't tell me..." you trail off, eyes widening with disbelief as you look between the two of them.

"it's fine." armin breaths out, squinting his eyes shut at the pain. "he—he must've gotten too drunk and—it's fine."

"it's not fine!" you exclaim. "he...oh gosh why would he do that?"

he stands up from the seat he's been leaning against. "he was drunk, he wasn't thinking straight. it's my fault for mentioning mikasa knowing how—"

"mikasa?" your voice is so meek it has him finally looking at you. you look hurt, like a wounded little deer and although it pains him—he's only doing this to help you. you'll see it soon enough.

"yeah, all i did was mention how if he doesn't hurry and man up, she'll be swept away by some other guy on campus. you know how mikasa is, everyone loves her and i guess he got too mad. my fault for messing with true love." he chuckles, trying to lighten to the atmosphere. "sorry, that last part was cheesy but truly i'm—are you okay?"

your bottom lip is sucked in between your teeth anxiously, slight tears forming in your eyes. "f-fine."

"are my injuries really making you cry? wow, didn't know you cared so much."

he tries not to think about the fact you're actually crying over eren. fucking eren.

you let out a forced laugh, "y-yeah." you sniff. "let's get you home. him too."

"is he usually so...violent?" you ask once you two are in the car, driving eren home. "and don't you need stitches for that or something?"

"not usually so violent. i only see him get so worked up when it's something he's truly passionate about."

"...right."

"and for the stitches part? i don't think so." at least he hopes not.

you nod.

"he's my best friend, i'm not sure he didn't mean to do it."

"he still hurt you though, that's messed up." you look at him, frown visible on your face. "your face is too adorable to get a fist punched into it."

"adorable?" he gasps, making a turn. "i'm hot. i'd like to think i stopped being adorable right when i entered college."

you laugh, "yeah. i guess."

"you guess what?" he asks, teasing smile on his face.

you smile, "you're...hot. there? did i boost your ego enough?"

"you have no idea, angel."

you're taken back by the pet-name but then realize it probably has to do with your outfit as you lean back onto the chair, staring at the passing houses.

eren's cozy in his bed a couple minutes later, snuggling into the pillows. "wonder what he's gonna feel when he wakes up knowing he beat the crap out of his best friend." you murmur, watching him on the bed.

"he did not beat the crap out of me!" armin scoffs, defensively. you giggle, "those bruises look pretty serious to me."

"doesn't mean he beat the crap out of me! it's just harmless bruises."

"sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

he walks closer to you, "he really didn't. unless you haven't noticed, i've grown from that scrawny boy a years back. i can handle a fight."

"yeah, i've noticed but eren goes to the gym like a million times a day—"

"but did eren take a year of marital arts?" he counters.

"the dude is built like a bodybuilder, i doubt he needs marital arts."

"that's where you're wrong, dear y/n. brains win over brawn anytime."

"except for tonight." you say, mischievous glint in your eyes.

he blows air out through his lips in disbelief and it's only when he sees you squint at the movement that he realizes how close they are together. so close that all he needs to do is lean in a few inches and your lips are touching. should he? you're watching him intensely, like you also want to know what his next move is.

do you want him to? he doesn't know. he planned much more experiences to get you to realize he's the one for you. he doesn't want your first kiss with him to be in eren's bedroom, of all places. but maybe a petty part of him does want that. a way of getting back at eren for what he did. for almost taking you away from armin.

your eyes flicker up, staring at him before flicking back down to his lips. it seems you want to make the first move as your lips brush against his and armin has to will himself to not fall down because his knees feel like they're going to give out any second. holy...is this really happening? he's been waiting for this his entire life. for you to finally...fuck, your fingers idly play with the buttons of his shirt before you're deepening the kiss.

he doesn't know why but he pulls away, "why should i kiss you y/n?" he asks, voice teasing yet stern at the same time.

your body heats up from embarrassment, "i—don't you like me? the fort—"

"do i like you?" he could almost scoff at the stupid question. "do you like me?"

you look up at him, stumbling for words to say to that. you look like he's just asked you to commit murder, biting harshly on your bottom lip before breathing out. "y-yes." your voice is so timid. "i've always liked you."

oh?

oh.

"and yet you were under eren like a whore the entire night." he's not sure why he allowed that to come out but he did. you inhale sharply, quickly shaking your head. "n—no. i—"

"what? it's not like you two tried to hide it. with the way you were giggling, the way you were moaning his name."

"you saw that?"

"of course i did. how can i kiss you when you've been with eren? moaning his name, crying for him to go deeper. do you you think you deserve my kiss, y/n?" he keeps his face impassive but he's filled with glee on the inside. at the humiliation on your face, the guilt.

"i-i'm sorry!" you stammer. "i s-slept with him and i...i admit i do like him but it's clear he doesn't feel the same way an—"

"so what? i'm just a second resort?"

"no!" you quickly deny. "i've liked you for so long, armin but you've made it clear you didn't want this friendship to continue. and after this morning...and tonight i don't want to let more years pass by before i confess my feelings a—i'm sorry for what i did with eren—i really...i'm sorry." your eyelashes have tears on them, fingers digging into his shirt as you try not to full on break down.

it's so adorable. you've always been a crybaby. "i probably don't deserve it but...please...please kiss me." your bottom lip trembles.

"well go on, kiss me." he wanted to tease more, have you grovel and beg but how can he? when you're looking so desperate for just one kiss.

have you really? always liked him? has he been so blind to not notice? fucking idiot. so you have always been on the right track, you've always known what you wanted. it's others who stopped you from achieving what you truly wanted. others and armin's stupid decisions.

he allows you to lean in, your nails almost digging into his cheeks as you kiss him. he instantly wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you closer. you tilt your head to the side to get a better angle, and just as your tongues meet, armin pulls out again which elicits a whimper from you. "what..."

he grabs your jaw harshly, fingertips digging into the sides as he forces you to open your mouth. you look so pretty like this for him. dressed in white with a damn halo over your head as you look at him with that expression on your face. eyes just begging for you to be fucked. he doesn't think as he spits in your mouth and you whimper but don't protest.

he lets go and you swallow without a second thought, eyes focused on him. he can see why eren was so rough that night, you're just asking for it. "you let him fuck you, y/n. let him touch you."

should he even be acting so possessive right now? he should save that for later, when he's wired the fact you belong to him and only him into your brain. but that look in your eyes...it seems you already know. and his cock twitches at the possibility. do you? do you already know who you belong to y/n?

he drags you back until your back bumps against the dresser, his hand grabs your cunt which is practically aching for him already. "you let him touch this. this which belongs to me." he says into your ear and you whimper, clenching his shirt.

"s—sorry, p—lease please i'm so—nngh!" armin pinches your clit, mercilessly digging his fingers into the sensitive bud.

"who does this belong to?"

slick is already forming, coating his fingers. tears gather in your eyes, "y-you."

it's like fireworks went off inside of him, like he's finally seeing the light after years and years of pining. you do know. you know that every inch of you belongs to him, that you weren't made for anyone else. you were made for him. only him.

you shiver as his lips plant soft kisses on your chest, his hand gripping your hip. those hips he's always had too many fantasies about to count. he bites down, wanting everyone to see his marks on you. to see who you belong to. his teeth nip on your chest, jaw, chin, neck—anywhere he can leave marks.

he just wants to make you feel good, so good you forget about all your other past partners. he roughly turns you around so you can see yourself in the mirror behind you, your hands lean on the dresser, a dazed look already in your eyes. "you don't care that he's here?" armin whispers.

you shake your head, "i don't. please armin, fuck me."

you let out a wonderful moan as he pulls your dress up, ripping your panties and throwing them on the ground. he dives a finger inside of your needy cunt, "fuck!" you whimper.

"does it hurt?" he mocks. he doubts it does. not with the way you're trembling with pleasure under his touch. "i'm sorry angel but you don't deserve lube. not after everything you put me through me."

you nod helplessly, not even disagreeing with his words. "i'm so sorry." tears fall down your cheeks, eyes looking back into his through the mirror.

you're so weak for his touch and it's so gratifying. it's all he's ever wanted.  "you're so pretty, so tight just for me." he inserts another finger, curling them until your legs start shaking under your own weight. he holds you up, teeth grazing your neck and peppering kisses on your back.

it's so hot. everything feels so hot as the moans travel out of your lips, the sound of his fingers inside of you followed by your high pitched whining. it's almost too much. eren is right there and although he's not waking up anytime soon, it's just...fuck. it takes another finger before you're spilling onto his hand, guttural moan escaping your lips as you almost fall down.

he smiles in ecstasy, bringing his fingers to his lips and shamelessly licking every single white spot he finds on them. why would he be ashamed? he's been waiting for this his entire life. this is all he could ever ask for. "it tastes just like candy." he grins near your ear.

you shiver, "please...please fuck me."

he doesn't allow himself any more stalling, he's gonna have the rest of your lives together to taste and tease you. right now, all he wants to do is sink into that tight heat. so he does. and you both moan at the feeling. it's so hot, taking it in like armin's cock was always meant to be there. and it was, wasn't it?

"fuck..." he grips your hips, starting to thrust up. the arousal eating him up.

"so—big." you choke out as he starts to fill you up all the way. "feels so good..." you grip his cock so perfectly. everything you do is so perfect.

he starts to thrust harder once you've adjusted, not sparing any time as he pounds into you. the items on the dresser start to shake, moving around but none of you care enough. skin slaps against skin, his fingers clench your hips while yours dig into the dresser. he grins at the way your mouth falls open, tongue lolling around as you're helpless to way he's drilling into you.

you love this. it's so evident on your face. you love the fact it's armin behind you, the fact it's him inside of you right now. you didn't even ask for a condom...fuck how perfect would that be? you filled up with his babies. he could almost cum just at the thought.

but he doesn't. instead he increases his pace, fucking you eagerly. "wanted this for so long. fuck, you're so tight. feels so good. you're so perfect. so so perfect."

you let out a wet sob, whether at his actions or words—he doesn't know but he relishes the sound. "you like that y/n? being pounded into like you're nothing? while the guy you claim to like sleeps not even five feet away? it's pathetic." he chuckles.

and he's not usually so mean. he won't be during your other sexual activities. no he'll treat you like a princess, like the perfect angel you are. but right now, he's angry. and you need to know your place.

"suh—sorry." you cry out. "won't do it again. so sorry." you shake your head, grinding your ass back to meet his thrusts.

you throw your head back, mouth parted and begging for a kiss to which armin gives. your tongues meet, swirling around together as he licks into your perfect mouth. you two moan into each others mouths as armin continues his pace and—fuck he has to almost slap himself for being an idiot and not doing this sooner as he brings his hand around to cup your right breast, clenching it tightly and you moan deliciously at the contact.

he grips it as your tongue goes to lick his teeth, licking anything really. you're so needy. just as needy as him. your moans get even louder and he's thankful eren's parents are out on some business trip cause he's pretty sure the entire neighborhood can hear you right now. "so—ah! so good armin. you make me feel so good." you say, voice airy. "please fill me up, please i want your cum."

he's pretty sure those exact words are the reason for the orgasm that happens not two seconds later. he grips your waist tightly, cock deep inside as he empties everything in you. you practically scream, legs shaking as armin continues to grind into you. making you feel every single inch of him. because it all belongs to you.

"so perfect." he pants, resting his sweaty forehead on your back. "so perfect."

would now be a good time to say he loves you?

you’re avoiding him.

at first he just thought you were just a bit shy considering the circumstances, you two were close friends then went through a period of barely speaking to each other for months only for him to end up fucking you in someone else’s bedroom.

so he gave you time to process all of that but it’s been two weeks...how much more time do you need? the first week he tried to stay calm but now it’s getting too much, the last time he gave you space you two didn’t speak for so long. that was his fault and he won’t make it again, he can’t go through that again. not after finally having a taste of you.

he sighs deeply, digging his fingers under the pillow and taking out the pink lace bra he took out of your drawer the other day. he just misses you too much. it feels like he can’t breath whenever you awkwardly walk out of a room once you see him, how you deliberately ignore his unwavering gaze, how you haven’t said even a single word to him.

it fills him up with anxiety and he needs to find a way to release somehow so he shamelessly acquired this piece of material. it’s not like he’s committed some crime, he just needed to find a way to be near you. to feel you again.

he wishes he could see it on you, maybe he’ll ask you to keep it on next time you two make love again. his hand was under his sweatpants the second he felt himself harden, quickly tugging on his length until he was panting into the pillow. “y/n...” he moans.

he needs you. needs to taste you, touch your soft skin and feel it under his fingertips. needs to hear your moans, see your scrunched up eyebrows and dazed out eyes as he pounds into you...fuck you’d be clawing at his shoulders just like that night. you’d be so tight as sweat drips down both of your bodies.

he grips his cock tighter, toes curled and eyes shut tight as the bra is held to his chest. if only he could live between your legs forever, feeling your tight heat and hearing your pretty little sounds. he’d never want to leave.

you’ve been gone all day, barely been around the last two weeks and he had no idea how much his schedule depended on you being near. even when he was ignoring you, most of the things he did throughout the day consisted of taking care of you. making sure you got to your classes, took your morning jokes safely, how he used to watch you study in the library and so much more. but he didn’t even know where you were now, he had your entire routine memorized back on campus. it definitely isn’t the same now that school was temporarily over.

loneliness was creeping in. he doesn’t know what to do without you. it’s not like he could study to pass the time anymore. fuck. all he needed was one more tug before he was releasing all over his hand.

that was unsatisfactory. it’s not like the real thing. masturbating does nothing anymore once he’s actually been inside of you. he groans, frustration threatening to take him apart as he gets up and walks towards the bathroom. it only takes a few minutes before he’s cleaned up and changed his clothes, ready to go to sleep.

but then he hears something.

rustling outside, right under his window. then he hears your soft voice, uttering something he can’t quite hear. he walks closer to it, thankful he left it slightly open.

what he sees...is definitely not what he expected.

his fingers unconsciously clench the window handle, almost breaking his nails in the process as he watches eren—eren walking down the lawn and into the street.

he was...he was in your room? he didn’t hear the front door open and there’s no other way for eren to have walked in unless he climbed that tree next to the two rooms. why was he in your room?

armin tastes blood in his mouth, biting down on his tongue so harshly that his teeth pierced into it. while he was in here, agonizing over your absence—you were in there with him. doing who knows what.

well, it’s pretty obvious what you were up to as he watches the pep in eren’s steps.

fucking hell.

he thought he fixed that.

are the healing bruises in his face just...fuck why are you with him? he shakes his head, trying to calm down but it’s pointless at this rate. he should’ve done more, he would’ve done more but then you suddenly came onto him that night and he thought he had won. apparently not.

playing nice is pointless. it seems you like men like eren regardless of the crappy actions they do. what’s wrong with you?

he’s walking to your bedroom in the next second, fists clenching and unclenching. what’s wrong with you? he goes to knock but then scoffs bitterly before sharply opening the door, hearing the sound of it smacking against the wall.

you’re on your bed, gasping and eyes widening at the abrupt action and sound. “armin—what—”

you’re just wearing an oversized shirt...that is definitely not his. looks like eren’s old football jersey. fucking hell. what is wrong with you, y/n?

“are you serious?” he breathes out, nails digging into the flesh of his palms. “are you fucking serious?” he takes a step forward and you anxiously scoot back on the bed.

“what are you doing?” you ask like he’s in the wrong. like he’s the one acting like a little confusing, manipulative whore.

“why are you doing this to me, y/n?” he grits out. “why?”

“doing what?” you raise your voice a bit, pursing your lips. the look in your eyes tells him you know exactly what he’s talking about.

“what’s so special about him? please tell me cause i don’t understand. why’d you go back to him even after everything he did? he doesn’t even love you—not like i do, how many times do i have to say no one loves you like i do?” he’s in front of you in a second, hands clenching your shoulders and slightly shaking you.

“y-you’re acting weird, armin.” your bottom lip starts to quiver. “you’re scaring me.”

“i’m scaring you?” he laughs. “not the man who almost beat me to a pulp? but it’s me who scares you?”

“l-like you said—he was drunk so...so he didn’t mean to! he said he apologized—”

“that’s not the point!” he yells, startling you. your eyes are widen to the point they look like they’re going to fall out but he doesn’t care. what’s wrong with you? “he’s brash, rude, inconsiderate. he could care less about you and trust me the second summer is over, he’s ditching your ass for someone else and yet you still pin after him? is that what you like y/n? do you enjoy getting walked over like a damn doormat by everyone? your parents, historia, abby and now eren? what the fuck is wrong with you?”

tears are gathering in your eyes, you bring your hands up to his and push them off of your shoulders. “you’re being mean.”

“i thought you liked that? unless it’s coming from me right? you allow everyone else to treat you like crap then come crawling to me with tears in your damn eyes when you need a safety net.” he seethes. “everyone else can be jackasses, except for me. i always need to be your perfect little armin.”

“what is your problem?” you stand up, facing him. trying to appear strong when you both know it’s all an act. you can barely stand up for yourself without crying. “you’re the one who ignored me for—”

“not this crap again. you’re the one who came onto me that night, saying you’re mine, begging me to fuck you and then you suddenly ignore me and go right back to eren even after everything.” he throws his hands up in the air.

“i like eren.” you exhale shakily, seems like those three words were the only ones you were capable of forming at the moment.

“you said you liked me too, remember? how you always liked me—”

“i was drunk that night, armin.” it’s said so nonchalantly, like it’s the actual truth but he knows better. he was watching you most of the night and you didn’t even go near a cup of alcohol.

fuck, he wants nothing more than to grip and throw you on that bed. fuck into you like the slut you apparently are and hear your soft noises. but it seems—it seems you don’t want that from him. you want that from eren. you want eren to be the big bad wolf and for armin to be your safe sanctuary whenever things get too rough.

he doesn’t want that. he wants to be your everything.

why can’t you allow that?

“so, what? you don’t want me?”

if being rough won’t work then he can try an alternative. it doesn’t matter if it makes him look pathetic, he needs you.

and the pain he’s in right now is excruciating, blurring his vision with tears. “can’t you at least try then y/n?” he walks over, hands suddenly grasping your wrists. the hold was rigid, crushing and even he was surprised at the sheer force of it. like he was trying to break something. “you can try to want me, to love me? can’t you? is it that hard? after everything i’ve done for you, you want to just leave me behind in the dust? everything i’ve done means nothing to you?”

you whimper, shaking your head no. “t—that’s not it. i just—” tears start to trail down your face, tiny sobs filling the room. “it’s not you, it’s me.”

“really? that crap line—”

“it’s the truth!” you exclaim, facing him again. “i...i don’t deserve you, armin. being with people like eren is better because even when i screw up, it won’t matter. b-but if we do get together than i’ll just mess everything up and hurt you and then i’ll lose you and i don’t wanna—i don’t want to lose you. i can’t.” you babble.

he stares at you, shock written all over his face. and disbelief, pure disbelief. that’s what you’re scared of? “the only thing that’s hurting me is you being with eren. it’s fucking kill me, y/n.” he chokes out. “and how many times do i have to tell you that i’ll never leave.”

“you left before.” you say, voice barley above a whisper. “you just left me alone to face everything and then you get mad cause of my choices—”

“i’m sorry, i regret doing that. so, so much.” he cups your cheeks, finally letting go of your wrist and it’s only then does he see the slight bruises his grip left on your wrist. fuck, why do you look so pretty with his marks?

“but that was the last time. i’m never leaving you again. i love you y/n. you’re all i need and i’m all you need, okay?” he leans his forehead against yours, taking in your everything. “okay?”

“but you can’t see the future, what if—”

“no.” he snaps, voice filled with finality. the only way he’s ever going to be apart from you is if the claws of death try to sink their way into him and even then, he’d find a way back to you. he can’t be without you. not anymore. it’s not even an option. “i won’t. i promise. okay?”

you stay silent for a minute, tears still streaming down as you sniff. “okay.” you rest your face in the crook of his neck, gripping the collar of his shirt. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, please forgive me.” you sob.

that’s exactly what you said that night and you still went and betrayed him. and yes you cleared things up. he knows it was all because of insecure, self sabotaging thoughts that pierced their way into you but what if they come back? what if you do that again? he can’t see you with eren anymore, he won’t be able to control his actions if he does. he backs away, taking your jaw into his hand and staring at you.

“you won’t do that again, will you?” he’s not asking. the tone in his voice makes it clear committing something as atrocious as that isn’t even a possibility anymore.

you nod meekly, doe eyes staring into yours with a hint of fear but this time he doesn’t care. if a bit of fear will keep you from shattering his heart again, then he hopes it sticks forever.

“i won’t.” you smile timidly.

good.

he’s inside of you not ten minutes later, chest covering your back as he fondles your breast. leaving marks anywhere he can. you’re his. and he’ll make sure everyone knows it. teeth sinking into fragile flesh with no mercy and with the way you cry out, you don’t seem to mind.

you’re yelping with every thrust, fingers clenching the sheets and his end goal is take several rounds throughout the night, pound into you until you’re non verbal. barely able to even let out tiny whimpers. he wants you so fucked out that no other cock will fill you up the way he does. and most certainly not eren’s.

he can tell he’s close, quickly flipping you around so you’re straddling him now, hands wrapping around your neck as you cry out. he smirks at the sight in front of him, purple marks covering your body, tear filled eyes and uncontrollable noises of pleasure.

so perfect.

it’s all he’s ever wanted.

he grips your waist, pistons in and out to the point you’re screaming. does historia hear that? hears you scream for him, evidence you’re his now. not theirs anymore. they can’t control you anymore, can’t taint what he loves any longer. armin’s the only one for you.

“oh—oh fuck.” you sniff through the tears, bouncing on top of him. that lace bra snug on your chest. you wore it just for him, just cause he asked.

“do you love me?” he pants, grip tightening.

you nod dumbly, without a second thought. “i do...i love you. i love you so much, armin.”

“good.” he smiles. fucking fantastic.

“you belong to me, right? you don’t need them anymore? right?” he practically begs.

you whimper, staying silent a second too long so he angles this next thrust into your sweet spot

causing you to yelp. “y-yes! i’m yours, i don’t need them.” you confirm.

“you don’t need anyone but me.”

“i don’t need anyone but you.” you whine, leaning your head onto his. “and you don’t need anyone but me, r-right?”

what kind of question is that? of course he doesn’t need anyone else. he’s never needed anyone else. if he could burn the entire world down with you two as the only survivors, he would. he wants you to himself, wants you to only have him. forever and always.

“of course.”