#1.) My eyes hurt because the lighting in the living room they decided to detain me in to be yelled at for four hours sucked ass

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Did anyone else used to lie on their bed or the ground and stare directly into a lightbulb and/or a ceiling fan when they were a kid?

[verai-marcel]

What Is Real (RDR2 Fanfic, Corrections AU, Javier x Fem!Reader, Part 1 of 2, 18+)

Summary: You’re a barista at the Strada Cafe, and you’ve noticed that a couple of men who seem somewhat familiar have been visiting lately, with two of your regulars. You have a hard time believing that it’s Arthur & Charles, two of the bouncers from the BDSM club you used to attend when you lived in the big city. Then one of their friends shows up, and now you’re 100% sure it’s them, because you couldn’t forget those warm brown eyes and charming demeanor if your life depended on it.

Author’s Notes: My first true Javier x Reader fic. @eddescuella, @mrsescuella, @javiescuellx, I dedicate this to you.

Tags: Javier x Reader, smut, D/s, plot, romance, drama, dirty talk, name-calling, spanking

AO3 Link is here, baby.

--------------------

Chapter 1: We Meet Again

Word Count: 2788

"Good morning!" you said cheerfully as the front door opened, the bells jingling daintily.

Two men greeted you with a polite smile and a nod before sitting at a corner table. They must be waiting for someone, you thought, as they did not stop to purchase something from the counter. 

You had seen the two men more often recently, but not together; in fact, you had seen them paired with two of your regulars, the veterinarian and the prison guard. Part of you felt strange, seeing them here in this city after so long. They didn’t recognize you, which was a relief. Then again, you wouldn’t blame anyone for not recognizing you if they saw you outside of that club.

Two years ago, when you moved to this city to start over, you swore off your other life. You had been a grocery clerk by day, and at night you would go down to the Free & Brave, dressed to the nines in your best latex dress, and play your heart out.

But you had gotten too close to a certain club employee; he was just doing his job and you were addicted to his services, coming back to the club again and again, just for him. In hindsight, it was cringey, the way you always looked for him, the way just one smile from him would light up your whole night. His suave mannerisms, his voice, and his guitar playing were only part of the whole package. You sincerely cared about him as a whole person, but you were starting to feel foolish, knowing that he didn’t feel the same way.

So when you got fired from your job, you decided it was time to leave the big city and head east, away from the complicated feelings, away from your addiction, away from everything. On one hand, you wanted desperately to see him again, and on the other, you wanted to just forget about what you had been.

Every date, every lover, every one night stand you’d had since then? No one could compare. You were never satisfied.

The door jingled open again.

“Good morning!” you said before turning to the door. You paused for a split second, your heart leaping into your throat. Forcing it back down, you continued. “Welcome to Strada Cafe!”

“Hi,” the man that haunted your memories said with a polite smile. He looked around and spotted the other two men and waved at them. “I’ll come back to order something,” he said to you before he joined his friends.

Your heart was hammering. Did your eyes deceive you?

Was that… Javier?

***

“Hello gentlemen,” Javier said as he walked towards the two men who looked back at him with neutral expressions. He had emailed them, asking to meet up. When they agreed to meet him in a cafe, he was both relieved and anxious; after all, he was the one who had pushed them away when they had told him the truth about the Free & Brave’s secret operations. So he understood why they weren’t exactly welcoming him back with open arms.

“Javier,” Arthur said, nodding at him. “Been a long time.”

“A couple of years at least,” he replied. “A lot has happened.”

Charles stayed quiet, watching Javier sit down.

“Listen, about… the club.” Javier took a breath and blew it out slowly, a contrite look on his face. “You were right. You were both right. I should’ve left. I just… I didn’t want to see the truth.”

“At least you see it now, right?” Arthur asked. When Javier nodded, he continued. “So where’ve you been?”

“The feds detained all of us, told us to not leave town while they did the investigation. I had to get a job somewhere, so I worked at a restaurant for a while. The feds kept bringing me in for questioning. It was a mess. Different agents would ask me the same question, over and over. But I didn’t have anything to tell them. When they finally told me I was free to go, I started looking for a quiet place to live. Moved out here a couple of days ago. John told me you two lived out here.”

“You still talk to John?” Charles asked.

“We email sometimes. Not much talking, really,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh,” was all Charles could say. He suspected there was more to this than just Javier’s response, but he didn’t have any desire to pry.

“So how’ve you two been doing?” Javier asked, changing subjects.

Charles and Arthur both shrugged. “Doin’ fine, I s’ppose,” Arthur replied. “Just workin’ almost every day, gettin’ by.”

Javier nodded. “Sounds… nice.” He sighed. “I’ll just cut to the chase. I need to find a new job.”

“You tried the internet?” Charles asked, a bit sarcastically.

Javier ignored the jab at his intelligence, though it grated a little at his pride. “I did, but I was hoping one of you had a lead.”

Arthur shook his head. “We don’t. Our boss isn’t hiring at the moment.”

Charles glanced at Arthur before responding. “We’ll let you know if she needs another person.”

Javier bowed his head. “Thank you." He paused for a moment before continuing. "I know things didn’t end well back there, but I want to start over. You two were the most level-headed guys at that place.” 

He held out his hand. "I’m sorry for what I said. Forgive me.”

Charles took his hand and shook it firmly. “It’s alright. Water under the bridge.”

When Javier turned to Arthur and offered his hand, Arthur glanced at Charles, who nodded imperceptibly. Taking his hand, he shook it once before letting go. “I haven’t forgotten, Javier.”

Wrinkling his brow at Arthur’s response, Javier nodded. “I understand. Let me buy you a drink, then you can go about your day.”

***

You couldn’t overhear the three of them talking clearly, but you knew that there was something going on, when Javier shook both of their hands, and then got up and walked towards the counter. You fumbled your pencil as you tried to set it down before going back to the register.

“Wh-what can I get for you?” you asked, attempting to hide your nerves.

“Two coffees, black, and a honey lavender latte.”

You blinked. “Alright, anything to eat?”

“No, but thank you.”

You rang him up and turned the tablet to him so he could pay. When he finished and you turned the tablet back to you to complete the order, you noticed he was looking at you in a curious way.

“I think I know you,” he said.

You swallowed. “Um, maybe?” Your voice cracked as you finally looked up at him and met his kind gaze.

Suddenly he smiled. “Don’t lie, querida. I thought I recognized you.”

Querida. His pet name for you at the club. He remembered. And you panicked.

“I, um, well, yes,” you stammered.

“I won’t bother you while you’re working. Can I come see you after your shift?”

“Yes!” you said with far too much enthusiasm. “Come back at 3pm,” you said more quietly. You passed him two cups of black coffee. 

“I’ll be here,” Javier said, winking at you as he went back to his table.

Your heart beating wildly in your chest, you quickly went to make the latte. You knew it was for Javier; after all, his room at the club always had a light lavender scent.

***

After accepting the coffee from Javier, Arthur and Charles made their excuses and left, saying they had other errands they needed to do, leaving Javier to wait for his latte alone. He sat at the table, staring outside and contemplating his future; he had left the big city to start over. It still hurt to think about the past and the choices he made, the sides he took when he should’ve thought about it more carefully.

But he had cared so much about the club. He had cared about Dutch, the man who brought him in, encouraged his talents, encouraged him to be free. He taught him to treat others with respect, to be open to new things, to be a better person altogether.

And instead, he turned out to be the head of an underground crime syndicate, with alleged ties to assassinations and blackmail.

It hurt to have his belief in someone turn out to be so misplaced.

At least he could take comfort in the fact that most of the crew were just as in the dark about the club’s ties to the underground as he was. When he reached out to the others who had left, only Lenny had responded. Without him, Javier would never have gotten in contact with John, to whom he apologized, but got the feeling that he was still angry at him for what he had said before.

He was surprised that John told him where Arthur and Charles were, after he had asked. Maybe it was because he had written that he wanted to apologize to them.

Charles was a forgiving man. Arthur… Arthur still carried a grudge. That much he could tell.

Javier knew things would never be the same. But at least he could start over in this city with the knowledge that he had a chance at reclaiming some of the connections he once had. It gave him hope.

***

“You forgave him so easily.”

“It’s been a couple years, Arthur.”

“Do you even remember what he said to us?”

“I know. But he was intensely loyal to Dutch. When your faith in someone is upended like that…. Some people don’t handle it well.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “You’re a better man than me.”

As they walked to their cars, Charles clapped Arthur on the back. “You’re a good man too, Arthur.”

He shrugged. “If you say so.”

Charles smiled. “Just ask your lady.”

Arthur sighed. He knew what she would say. “Alright, alright.” He pointed at his beat up truck. “I’m goin’ to see her.”

“Tell her I said hi.”

Arthur raised two fingers and waved goodbye as he got into his truck and took off.

***

“Here’s your latte.”

Javier looked up at the barista and smiled. Another connection that he had thought disappeared forever now stood before him. He felt like the world had given him a second chance; he wasn’t going to screw it up.

***

Javier’s dazzling smile blinded you to everything else, and for a moment all you could do was smile back like a fool.

“Where’d your friends go?” you asked.

“They had things to do,” he said, looking out the window again, looking a little forlorn. 

You immediately sat down, despite knowing that you had to get back to the counter right away. Touching his arm, you gave him a sympathetic look. “You can stay here as long as you need,” you said kindly.

“Thank you,” he said as he turned to meet your eyes. “I’m happy to see you again.”

You felt warm all of a sudden. “Me too,” you said. Patting his arm, you got up and went back to your counter, but you were definitely distracted by the man in the corner.

Eventually, he got up and left, winking at you before he left. “See you at 3,” he mouthed to you while you were ringing up another customer.

You were so distracted that you had to reset the transaction, much to the chagrin of your boss.

***

When 3 o’clock rolled around, you signed out of the Clover station, swapped places with your coworker, and bounded to the back room. As you were clocking out and pulling your stuff out of your locker, your boss came up to you.

“Hey, can we talk?”

Oh god, you thought. “Sure,” you said with some trepidation.

“You made a couple of mistakes today at the register. You caught them before you finalized the transaction, but still.”

You nodded. “I know, I’ll be more careful in the future.”

“Alright. Also, don’t flirt with the customers.”

You felt your face heat with embarrassment. “I wasn’t flirting, he’s an old acquaintance,” you replied, tamping down your irritation as best as you could.

“Uh huh. Well, you have a good rest of your day.”

As she walked away, you breathed a sigh of relief and quickly left out the back door. Walking around to the front, you saw Javier, waiting for you.

He had on a pair of brown chukka boots, dark blue jeans, and a black athletic cut T-shirt, tight on his lean muscled body. You could see the bottom of his eagle tattoo that you knew adorned his left pectoral and curved around his shoulder, the tattoo that he had gleefully shown you on a rainy night after a session, telling you how happy he was that he could finally afford to get it.

***

“Isn’t it sore?” you had asked, gesturing at his tattoo.

“A little, but I can handle it. Just to see you, I would brave a thousand needles.”

When he had told you that, your heart had fluttered and a part of you had wished it was all real, a real relationship, not a series of sessions at a fetish club, where you pretended to be someone else.

***

The two of you walked downtown, heading for a small burger place to grab food. You were hungry, and he offered to accompany you, though he had eaten not too long ago. 

You met his eyes, feeling shy all of a sudden. It was strange and yet oddly comforting to see him outside like this. You had never seen him like this before, and yet it felt natural, felt… real.

"So what brings you to town?" you asked, curious.

"I moved here."

You stared at him for a moment. "Really?" 

"Yeah." He was silent for a few moments before he continued. "Wanted a new start. So now I'm looking for a new job."

"We need a new barista," you blurted out before you could think better of it. 

He looked at you for a couple of seconds before he spoke. "Maybe I shouldn't. After all, it isn't good to date a coworker."

You stopped walking as you looked at him in shock. He laughed at your expression, turning around to face you. "Does that surprise you, querida?" 

"Yeah, it does," you said. "I mean, we, back then, I…"

He stepped closer to you and took your hands in his. "Let's start over. We can be real." Caressing your cheek, he leaned in. "What do you say?" 

He was so close. How many times in the past had he been this close? And yet this time was different from all the rest. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes, reveling in the feel of his warm hand on your face. 

"Yes," you finally answered.

***

As you munched on a burger, Javier slowly sipped on a coke. He had asked what you’d been up to the past two years. You just gave him the rundown of how your life was pretty humdrum these days, since you moved here. You weren’t about to tell him everything, about how your addiction to your other life caused you to get fired from your previous job. 

You did tell him about how you spent your spare time writing, trying to put together ideas for a book, but you never got very far, always coming up with new ideas, never settling on one plot.

After a few minutes of silence as Javier absorbed everything you said, he finally spoke.

"The club closed a couple of years ago, pretty soon after you disappeared."

You were shocked. "Why?" you asked. 

He shrugged. “Finances got bad,” he said. “Everyone got laid off. I tried to stay in the city, but it’s hard to make a living there. So I came out here to have a quieter life for a while.” 

You nodded sympathetically.

“How about you?” he asked. “Why did you leave?”

“Same as you, wanted to live somewhere not crazy.” 

Javier laughed. "And yet life is crazy, bringing us back together." He looked over at you, his face turning serious. "Are you getting what you need?" he said in a low voice. 

You nearly choked on your burger, swallowed, took a sip of your soda, and looked up at him. His sympathetic gaze did things to your heart, things that you were not prepared for. 

"No," you finally answered. "I missed you."

Javier's fingers caressed your cheek. "I missed you too, querida."

You reached up and held his hand, taking it away from your face. "Let's try being… normal. Maybe we go on a date first?"

He chuckled. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

You nodded. Normalcy, that’s what you wanted right now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Part 2 is here.

[alma-berry]

Kit’s secret fire message #11

Masterlist  

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

-

“Are you ready to come inside?” Ty asked Kit even though the last thing he wanted was to let go of him. But Kit’s skin was ice cold, he looked exhausted and was probably in an urgent need of an iratze. 

Kit only nodded. They slowly rose from the wet ground, his clothes were damp and disheveled, his face stood a pale contrast to the dark sky, but as he looked at Ty, two feathery pink clouds bloomed on his cheeks. 

He was so beautiful, Ty thought. had he always been this beautiful? Ty tried to remember the boy who’s throat he had pointed a knife to. The look of defiance on his face had startled him, he wasn’t expecting a mundane to be so at ease in front of a shadowhunter, let alone one that was obviously threatening him. But Kit’s eyes were blazing like the inner core of the bluest fire, the soft tease in his voice echoed in Ty’s ears ever since.. “go on, figure it out”. And Ty had tried.

He was always beautiful, even then. But he looked so different now. He was tall, almost as tall as Ty was, but not quite. The feel of his broad shoulders in Ty’s arms made his stomach clench. He was all muscle, like he spent every night and day since they last met in vigorous training.

The worn material of his shirt hugged his biceps tightly, accenting every curve, every vein stretched throughout his arms, like a mystery map to a hidden treasure meant for him to discover. 

But as he stood there, a shy and hesitant look on his face, he still looked fragile to Ty. Like all the roughness of his body didn’t quite match the softness of his heart. 

Ty wanted to hold him, so much so that he had to shove his trembling hands into his pockets so he won’t be tempted. 

Kit gave him an unreadable look as he did so, but said nothing. 

They went down the stairs in silence, the warmness inside the institute enveloped them with every step. Ty could feel Kit behind him, and the sudden harshness of his memories made him fear he had dreamed that whole day. He stopped where he stood, and Kit nearly bumped into him.

“What-“ his eyes met Ty’s with surprise, and once again those lovely pink roses kissed his cheeks ever so lightly. Ty couldn’t help but linger on that thought, of kissing Kit’s cheeks, like he was the delicate petal of a flower, caressing the silk under Kit’s cheekbones, his slightly moist lower lip, full and velvety and-

“Everything’s alright, Ty?” And Ty immediately flushed. First, because he was staring, and second, because hearing his name in Kit’s deep, husky voice undid him in a way he never thought was possible by just a voice, a word, a name. He was feeling all kinds of firsts, and the newness of it made him a bit lightheaded. Maybe that could have explained the reckless honesty of his words.

“I was just- I just wanted to make sure you’re here. That you’re still here”.

A wicked light sparked in Kit’s eyes, “Unless I decide to hurl myself off the institute’s roof, and I can assure you I’m not that kind of Herondale, I have pretty much no where else to go”.

The playfulness in his eyes was tempting, but Ty still felt unease. “It’s not what I meant. I needed to make sure you are real. That this wasn’t all in my head.”

Something softened in Kit’s eyes, the flame burned a deeper blue. “It wasn’t. I’m.. real. As much as I can be.”

The smallest smile played on the tips of his lips, like a little kid in front of a red crosslight when the road is empty. Ty understood that feeling, and his fingers burned holes inside his pockets from wanting to touch Kit.

“Okay then” Ty tore his gaze away from Kit’s lips and started down the stairs again, only to realize Kit didn’t follow him. He turned around and found him looking at him, his eyes no longer teasing, or soft. There was a an ocean of despair in them, and Ty felt a rope tightening around his chest. 

“But.. are you?” Kit whispered, his face immersed in darkness. 

“Am I what?” 

“Are you real? I’ve imagined you so many times, I can’t be completely sure I’m not conjuring you by sheer will. There is so little light in here, and when you stand there, it’s almost like you’re a shadow. Just the shadow of my memories. And I can’t help but think that I’ve finally lost it, back there, in that warehouse.. and that my mind gave me the one thing he knew I needed above anything else.” 

All of a sudden his eyes turned blindly bright, and there was a slightly feverish tinge to his voice. Something wasn’t completely right. 

“The things you said, the way you said them. It was like you’re in my head. That was my first clue. How could you possibly know what I needed to hear? It’s been years, you can’t possibly remember or care or-“

“Kit,” Ty cut him off sharply, there was definitely something wrong. “You’re not making any sense”

“But there is no way I could have made you up, not when you look so..” kit stepped out of the shadows and a tiny sliver of light fell across his face. They were still wet, but Ty didn’t think it was from the rain. His damp hair stuck to his face and his eyes ran all over Ty’s face with mad desperation. He was fine a few minutes ago, a bit shaken but fine.. what was wrong with him now?

“Tell me there’s more, Ty.. tell me I’m more than the nothing I was when the night came. The sky burst into a screaming crowd and you told her I was nothing but a forgotten dagger, thrown into the bottom of the lake. And I’m drowning ever since”.

Kit’s hands were shaking hard, clenching and unclenching, a fractured mirror of his own usually fluttering hands. Not now, though. Now they were steady, two rescue boats hovering right under a trembling Kit, waiting to catch him if he fell.

“Kit.. I don’t know what you mean, but..” Ty’s voice cracked around the edges, “but you’re not drowning. You’re in the London institute with me. You’re tired and injured.. let me, let me take care of you, I can-“

But then Kit took another step towards him, closing the distance between them in the length of a heartbeat. His golden eyelashes glittered with unshed tears, and Ty fell silent.

Kit had a look of ancient misery in him, like he lost everything and didn’t believe he could ever find it again.

“Tiberius Blackthorn,” Kit said in a slow sigh that Ty felt down in his bones. “Your name is a scar I cannot heal, and no matter how hard I try, I will always be the scattered remains of your past. Nothing but dust, nothing but shadows.”

And then he fell, silent and burning, right into Ty’s arms.

-

Ty was slowly losing his mind. There was no other way of looking at it, he was terrified in a manner he couldn’t even understand.

It was not rational, the silent brothers had assured him and Jem that Kit would be just fine, but he couldn’t quiet that voice in the back of his head that insisted Kit was in danger.

Images flashed before his eyes; him, carrying Kit to the main lobby of the institute. Jem suddenly at his side, pure agony in his face. 

“What happened to him?” He said in a barely restrained voice. 

“I don’t know. He didn’t seem hurt, he was just upset by.. by everything that happened,” Ty held his hands tightly, trying to detain their movement. They were like wild animals, let loose out of their cage, as if now that they were no longer directed by the purpose of keeping Kit safe, they lost control.

“He was fine, and then he started saying things, he seemed a bit.. delirious.”

Jem’s kind face turned to steel. 

“James Carstairs, what is the meaning of this mess?” Evelyn Highsmith’s voice echoed across the hall. 

“What did the boy do now? Another jump from an inconvenient hight? I told you once before, just because he’s a Herondale doesn’t mean he can sprout wings and-“

Jem turned to face her with a quiet rage that hushed her voice even before he uttered a word.

“He’s not ‘the boy’, he is my son. And he got hurt after he saved the lives of others.”

The silence was palpable, Ty could feel Evelyn’s shock and dismay radiate off her.

“Your son… I was under the impression you have a daughter” Jem’s eyes blazed, and for all his beautiful tenderness, he emanated authority that made Evelyn Highsmith look like a scolded school girl. 

“I have a daughter and a son, and one of them is in danger. Call them, now. Call the brothers”.

And with that he turned to Kit, lifting the ragged pieces of his shirt, looking for injuries. 

Evelyn had left the hall and Jem whispered “Here, he was cut by one of their talons” and Ty could see an ugly cut across Kit’s flat stomach. 

Ty swallowed hard, barely able to look at either of them. At Kit, because the scorching desire that lit in him made it nearly impossible to think.. and at Jem, because the unbearable shame he felt for not noticing earlier that Kit was injured was undeniably written all over his face. 

“Thank you for finding him, Tiberius. The brothers can help him, the cut is shallow.. but if he was left alone with it.. I’m not sure he could have survived”.

Ty didn’t want to be thanked. He only wanted to see the ocean blue of Kit’s eyes in front of him, he wanted to know that he’s okay. He wanted to hold him in his arms and tell him he was not nothing, that he was never nothing to him. 

Later, when the silent brothers left, Jem moved from Kit’s side only to tell Ty he will be alright. His fellow centurions came and left to their assigned rooms, leaving Ty to his thoughts.

Jem found Ty walking across the narrow corridors, burning frustrated lines down the old crimson carpet that was probably there for centuries.

“I want to go and get some of his things… He will probably have to stay here for a while and I would like him to feel at home when he wakes up. Will you stay with him until I come back?”

Ty nodded, he didn’t trust his voice not to shake if he spoke.

It was strange, seeing Jem being a father to Kit. Ty knew he had adopted him, of course. He and Tessa Grey, but seeing how fiercely he cared for Kit.. it made him think of Julian. Of how he was one of the only constant things in Ty’s memory. His love, as solid and undeniable as the sun, made him into the man he was. He was happy Kit had someone to love him like that. The angel knew he never had, with his biological father.

“Ty…” a voice, familiar like the voice of his own thoughts, broke the silence. 

“Livvy! Where have you been all day?” The pearly form of his sister was shining in front of him, right outside Kit’s door.

“I was here.. I just figured you needed some time for yourself. Open the door, it’s okay. He’s sleeping.”

Ty slowly opened the wooden handle of Kit’s door, aware to every little sound his feet made on the cold floor.

Livvy glided in, and stopped right above Kit’s bed. Ty hesitated, not sure if he was ready to see Kit like this. Pale, injured, like the ghost of his old fears. 

“He looks fine, Ty Ty.. he’s not hurt anymore.” As always, Livvy knew exactly what was going through his head.

She sighed and said “he looks even better now than I remembered.. don’t you think?” She eyed him knowingly.

He didn’t respond. He couldn’t quite phrase it, and Livvy doesn’t need to hear him say it out loud.. she already knows. She probably even knows more than he does..

“I.. I can’t understand something. It was something Kit said, right before he passed out.” 

Livvy looked at him with a neutral look, not pushing him to continue. 

Ty sat down in the chair beside Kit’s bed. It had a rough pillow padding it, probably another heirloom from the past. He found it’s coarse texture comforting. He let his fingers study it while he replayed Kit’s words in his head.. but his shattered voice grew louder and louder with each painful sentence, and Ty could bear it no longer. He held his head in his hands, trying to cast away the demons, to sooth the pain. But it wasn’t his own pain, it was Kit’s. And he couldn’t fix what was broken if he didn’t know what was wrong to begin with. 

Like always, Kit was the one person he couldn’t figure out. Nothing that he did had a pattern, there was no formula he could turn to solve the problem. He was the biggest riddle in his life.

“He said 'Your name is a scar I cannot heal,’” Ty repeated in the a near whisper, “‘and no matter how hard I try, I will always be the scattered remains of your past. Nothing but dust, nothing but shadows.’ Does it.. do you think he doesn’t want me here? Do you think I was too late? That I only cause him pain now?” Livvy only looked at him, face as white as the haunting moon. After a minute of barely contained silence, she spoke.

“I don’t know” Ty felt like he was falling, falling down a thirty floors building without anything to hold him back. Livvy must have seen it in his eyes, and started hurriedly.

“Ty, I don’t think he doesn’t want you here. And I don’t think you’re too late. Maybe it does hurt, to see you.. but only because it brings out so many memories-“

“But I don’t want to hurt him, I told you that. Why would he want me around if all I do is cause him pain? Why is he drowning? To whom did I say that he was nothing? Livvy, tell me what to do.. Why am I a scar?” 

He felt like there was no breath left in him, and in a desperate attempt to gain sanity, he reached to the inside of his shirt.. to where Livvy’s necklace rested, along with the Herondale pendant given to him by Magnus. By Kit.

“I don’t have the answers Ty, I wish I had.. but maybe he’s not talking just about you, Ty. It had been years since you’ve met. You don’t know what happened to him.. and.. and maybe you shouldn’t let something he said while he was hurt and delusional be the first thing that he said to you.”

Ty furrowed his brows, “but.. but it was. How can I ignore that?” 

Livvy smiled her sweet smile, the one that was reserved just for him, even when she was still alive. 

“You don’t need to ignore it.. but I’m sure, absolutely sure, that he would have chosen differently. That he would have said something else. He’s pretty good with words when he wants to be. He should have been given the chance to say..” Her voice drifted away. 

“To say what?” Ty lifted his eyes to meet her blue-green ones. Still vibrant, even through the transparent veil of death.

“To say that he missed you.”

-

Kit woke up to a soft light emanating from the witchlight placed on the small dresser by his bed. He blinked away the fog that still clung to his mind and focused on the dimmed light. It was the witchlight Ty had given him, a piece of their friendship that he kept close during the time they spent apart, a reminder that light could be found within the reach of his hand. 

He scanned the room for his belongings, and was pleased to find his black duffle bag resting on the floor next to the black leather case of his guitar. Jem must have left it for him to find, he smiled at the thought of his father, wanting him to find something that belong to him, to them, when he opened his eyes. He reached for it, avoiding the soreness in his stomach. With a gentleness he reserved only for his baby sister, he opened the case and slowly drew the guitar to his lap. 

It was one of his most prized possessions, a dark, rich brown acoustic guitar that he purchased at a second hand music store here in London, just a few months after he moved to Devon with Jem and Tessa. He had taught himself how to play it, with the help of a delighted Jem, who found any musical education worthy of his time. 

Kit remembered the first time he had heard Jem play his violin, mesmerized by the way his emotions collided straight into him, like waves breaking on a wall of rocks. It took him a week, but he finally built up the courage to ask Jem to buy an instrument of his own. In the years that came he found in music the home he never had. In music, and in his new family. The music room became his refuge, and every second he hadn’t spent in training, was used to write. Words and notes, the flash of his sword, the beating of his heart. Whenever things get overwhelming, he had a place to turn to. 

He moved his calloused fingers across the tight strings, relishing on the familiar noise they made under his touch. Bronze and flesh, the coppery smell of creating something that was completely his own. 

He strum the strings lightly, and tried to coax back the memories from his still fuzzy mind. He remembered what happened at the warehouse, and he wasn’t interested in revisiting those events. He shuddered from the sudden coldness that crawled down his spine. And on the roof, entombed within his own pain, every piece of him devoured, locked outside any chance of ever finding himself again. Locked, until Ty came. 

Ty, the black locks of his hair blowing in the cold wind. Ty, strong and warm around him, holding him close, like he was a lost treasure he had suddenly found and was afraid to lose again. Ty, his skin burning the last remains of any coherent thought in Kit’s head. Ty, Ty, Ty. 

His name was the last chord to his melody, a brush of cool air in the dead of summer.  

Kit couldn’t remember what happened next, how he got off the roof or who took him, and somehow it seemed unimportant. 

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.. and neither are you”

Something spread its wings in Kit’s chest, an unfamiliar emotion.. no, not unfamiliar.. forgotten. Something that was buried in the deepest corners of his heart, something that he only scratched the surface of when he deciphered Ty’s fire message.. it the undeniable brilliant glint of hope. A chance of redemption, the start of a new song.

He closed his eyes and played. He played for hours, played until the sun rose and his body was filled with Ty’s smell of ink and ocean. Until the words came, unbidden, straight out of the tangled ribbons of his heart.

-

Jessamine never liked the nighttime, when the few dull residents of the institute were washed away by the terrifying silence of the stars.

During the day, she could at least pretend to talk to them.. Evelyn certainly pretended Jessamine was there and blabbered for hours like she could sense her presence. 

When the night came, she was lonely. She could roam the streets of London, of course. She still knew the latest gossip, but that sort of thing was hard to comprehend these days. People were barely talking to each other, they were only clicking away on their modern phone devices and taking pictures of themselves in some rather embarrassing postures. She, Jessamine knew, was lovelier than most of these silly girls, with their tight garments and abundant breasts. The mere thought of them made her want to shiver, if she could.

But tonight was different from others. Every visit of Kit Herondale was a questionable delight.. but the events of his latest arrival were most peculiar. 

At the moment, though, Jessamine was taken by memories. She was gliding just outside the door of his room, the sound of music washing over her like the tides of a past life.

It was from this room that she had heard Jem Carstairs, ever so sweet, play his precious violin into the night. It kept her from sleeping at first, but it was hard to resent Jem. He was determined to be kind.. and if she had to admit it, the music was quite enjoyable. 

But now it was Kit, playing. The sounds of a fragile longing and a furious heart. She glanced at the black haired young man who sat across the closed door; grey eyes glistening, his hands following the music’s trace through the air.

Another pair of grey eyes, another unrealized love. Some things never change around here.

Maybe she should pay a visit to one of those young centurions.. perhaps one of them can see ghosts. And with a last glance at Tiberius Blackthorn’s outstretched hands, she glided away down the dark corridors of the institute.

-

It was nearly dawn when Ty entered his room. He couldn’t sleep, even long after the sound of Kit’s music ceased. It still echoed in his head, like it was coming right out of his earphones, now placed on his bed. 

Ty knew that it was yet another thing he didn’t know about Kit, and the thought made him frustrated and excited at the same time. Another piece of the puzzle was revealed, another clue uncovered. There will be more, he was sure of that.. and Ty wasn’t one to shy away from a mystery.  

When they were on the stairs, Kit said through his dazed state that he thought Ty was a fragment of his imagination. He said that he couldn’t possibly know the exact words he needed to hear, like he was in his head. But now it felt the other way around. 

How is it that Ty gave him words, and Kit gave him music? Beautiful music, a kind Ty had never heard before. He could feel Kit’s words through it, a secret whispered to the nape of his neck. 

Livvy’s earlier words came to him, “he would have said something else. He’s pretty good with words when he wants to be.” And Ty understood. These were the words he would have spoken. A song of loss and a desperate hope.

He closed his eyes and wished for the sweet embrace of sleep, when the smell of burnt paper and a familiar crackling sound appeared. A fire message.

Ty was up in an instant, and in his palm nestled a small folded piece of paper.

With a certainty he didn’t feel, he opened it and read:

“It wasn’t the night That saved me It wasn’t the heavy weight of rain that washed away the blood And ichored guilt off my heart

It wasn’t a rune that healed the blackened parts of me Embedded with years of darkness  Like a funeral pyre of a lost soul

It wasn’t the ghost of a memory Or flame of damned magic

It was you, It was only You”

[thinkyoureholy]

Your Name Remains The Same [3]

.

.

.

Pairing : Park Chanyeol/ [Fem] Reader

Genre : Angst, future fluff, maybe smut, some violence, Mafia!AU

Words : 1.9k

Pt 1. Pt 2. Pt 3. Pt 4. Pt 5. Pt 6. Pt 7. Pt 8. Pt 9. Pt 10. Pt 11. Pt 12. Pt 13. Pt 14. Pt 15.

“You let them escape!” The one in charge of the federal agents yelled at me, storming into the room.

“I let them escape? I did my part of the job, it was your job to keep the other eight occupied while I detained their leader, agent,” I spat out, turning around to face her, “If anyone let them escape it was you.”

“You insolent little bitch. You think you can talk to me like that? Just wait until-”

“That’s enough!” The sergeant yelled out, cutting her off, “I didn’t ask for your help just so you could berate one of my detectives, agent.”

“You gave up all jurisdiction the moment you called us, I have the right to call out a detective that let our person of interest go.”

“Not when the blame was yours to begin with.” The sergeant spoke, his tone low.

She scoffed, turning to walk out the door before she turned back one last time, “You must be glad your baby daddy is still a free man, let’s hope your son doesn't turn out like him. You know the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.”

With that she walked out, the rest of her team followed her out. I ground my teeth together, my hands forming into fists to keep myself from marching after her and introducing her to my fists. The other detectives shifted in their place, knowing that the subject of my son and his father was a delicate one.

“Why did you call them? We could’ve handled this ourselves.”

“She has a point, Y/N.”

“What?” I asked, dumbfounded that he would agree with her.

“You have a past with them Y/N...there can still be some lingering feelings there.” He said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“With all due respect sir, that’s complete bullshit and you know it. I had a gun aimed at me while I only had a measly knife. I wasn't about to stupidly risk my life in a fight I knew I was going to lose.” I explained, beyond the point of just simple anger, I was livid.

The sergeant and other detectives simply stayed quiet, knowing that the accusation was biased and flat out outrageous. I stood up, grabbing my jacket, “If you doubted me why did you let me take the lead on this case? I was put in that position because of your orders. I let myself be kidnapped and basically risked my life so you could belittle my efforts?”

I walked closer to him, taking my gun out of the holster and putting it on the table in front of him along with my badge, “If you’re just going to doubt me every step of the way then I’d rather stay out of it entirely. Now if you’ll excuse me I have paid vacation days I have saved up and I’m planning on using them...immediately.”

With that I walked out of the room, stopping by my office to pick up my son who was just dropped off by another officer who had been looking after him in a safe house. As soon as I opened the door and Jihyun saw me he jumped out of his seat and came running towards me. Seeing my son’s face made all the anger in me dissipate, a smile on my face as I knelt down in front of him and hugged him tightly. I may have hugged him too tight, Jihyun squirming in my grasp after awhile.

“I did exactly what you told me, mommy. I was a good boy for the nice officer.” He exclaimed with a huge smile on his face.

It was time like this where I saw traces of Chanyeol in him, at least the one I used to know. Jihyun inherited his father’s smile, his eyes, his ears, basically everything. Jihyun was Chanyeol’s clone, making this whole process a little harder for me to do. I knew at some point I’d have to tell Jihyun who his father was, the story I’d tell him would be of the Chanyeol I knew five years ago, the Chanyeol I fell in love with, not the criminal he is now.

I smiled, “I knew you were, now say goodbye to the nice police officer so we can go home and have a movie night. What do you think, we can even stop by and get you some ice cream, how does that sound, buddy?”

He nodded enthusiastically, waving to the officer that had taken care of him before grabbing onto my hand and basically dragged me out of the station. I laughed at the energy he still seemed to have even though it was almost ten p.m. Normally I would enforce his bed time if he was still up at this time but I kind of wanted to make up for everything that happened over the past two days. I had sent him to that safe house yesterday, the day before this whole fiasco started and I had left him with the promise of making his favorite food before Chanyeol had his men grab me. It seems like it was so long ago but in reality it was only five hours ago, the whole thing going down quicker than I had imagined.

-

“You sure you can carry all that, Hyun?” I asked him, seeing him grab the giant tub of ice cream and the various candies I bought.

He nodded, taking careful step towards the front door, stopping as he noticed a shadow in the corner of our porch. I didn’t take notice until I got closer, immediately dropping my bags and running up to Jihyun. I grabbed his arm, moving him to stand behind me as I shielded him from whoever was hiding in the shadows. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who it was, the events from earlier playing out in my mind, his face the first I thought of. And low and behold it was him, Chanyeol stepping out of the shadows, a smirk on his face.

“You have a lot of nerve showing up in front of me.”

He simply chuckled at that, taking a step of the porch. I put a hand out in front of me, stopping him from coming any closer, “Take one more step and I won’t hesitate to kill you where you stand.”

“I don’t think you will actually...at least not with little Jihyun watching.” Chanyeol said with a cocky grin.

He took a step forward, his eyes on Jihyun the whole time. I took one step back, a hand on Jihyun to make sure he was following. At seeing me take a step back Chanyeol frowned, his eyes now moving up to look at me. For a moment there I thought I saw a flash of hurt cross his eyes before he quickly masked it. He put on that same smirk, taking another step towards us, subsequently making me take one back.

“He’s my son too, Y/N. Don’t you think I have the right to at least meet him.”

“No. He is my  son. You have absolutely no right to even lay your eyes on him. As far as he knows he has no father.” I said, trying to keep my voice low enough so Jihyun wouldn’t hear me but at the same time be loud enough for Chanyeol to catch every word I said.

“You really think I’m about to let you into his life, after knowing what you do? Not a chance. I don’t want my son to know all the disgusting things his so called father has done.” I said through gritted teeth, “As far as I’m concerned you’re more of a sperm donor than anything else.”

“I am his father. Whether you like it or not and I have every right-”

“No, you don’t!” I yelled, cutting him off.

I heard a small whimper coming from behind me, now realizing that Jihyun was crying this whole time. Forgetting about Chanyeol I immediately knelt down in front of Jihyun, wiping his tears away.

“W-why are you fighting? I d-don't like it w-when you yell, mommy.” Jihyun said through his sobs, making my heart wrench at the tears falling down his face.

“No--no Hyun we’re not fighting, right?” I turned back to Chanyeol, my eyes sharp as I urged him to say the right thing.

“Huh...oh! Yeah, yeah we weren’t fighting, your mother just got a little too excited is all. No need to cry little man.” Chanyeol said softly, a small smile on his face.

With that I turned back to Jihyun, relieved to see that he stopped crying. Pulling the sleeve of my sweater over my hand I wiped at the tear streaks on his cheeks. Making sure to keep him as far away from Chanyeol as possible I walked him to the front door, letting him inside and assuring him that I’d be there soon before closing the door.

With irritation filling up my body I turned back to Chanyeol, marching up to him and grabbing him by the collar, dragging him away from the door. My grip on his collar didn’t loosen as I pushed him up against my car, “You show up again, in front of my house, in front of my child I will not think twice about arresting you. If you manage to weasel your way out of it again you better fucking pray that I don’t see you anywhere around me or my son because that’ll be the last time you see the light of day.”

I pushed him away roughly, hearing his back hit the metal of my car just as roughly, “This is my last warning Chanyeol. Don’t ever come back here again.”

With that I turned my back on him, ready to just spend the rest of the night with my son. I didn’t get very far, Chanyeol grabbing onto my forearm to stop me. I turned around to face him again, yanking my arm out of his grasp only to have him grab my wrist instead.

“Why are you being so selfish? I’m doing all of this to give you and Jihyun a better life.”

“What?”

“Five years ago I found out you were pregnant, the pregnancy test not as well hidden as you thought. That’s when I decide to leave and come back once I could provide the both of you with the lives you deserved, wanting money to never be a problem.” He explained, his other hand now grabbing onto my other arm.

I stared up at him in shock, my brain not knowing how to respond to this. He knew...this whole time, he knew and not once did he think about coming back until now. He must’ve known how much I suffered all these years without him, how much I had to sacrifice to make sure my child had everything he needed yet he just...didn’t care. He stayed away and went on to become the criminal he is today. With my jaw clenched I brought my hands up and pushed him away from me, taking a step back as well. I felt the tears well up in my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

“This whole time...you knew and instead of trying to find us and try to make yourself apart of your lives you were out there...hurting and killing people? Chanyeol are you even hearing yourself?” I paused, wiping away a stray tear, “This is the last time I repeat myself to you...don’t ever come near me or my child again do you understand me?”

I didn’t wait for him to say anything else as I turned my back on him, closing the door behind me once I was inside my home. With a heavy sigh I leaned my back against the door, regaining my composure before heading towards Jihyun.

[you-owe-me-two-iron-lukas]

MC:SM Mafia Round I

Okay so the very first round of my mcsm mafia on discord is over! And it wasn’t even that much of a chaos than I first thought, haha. Indeed, it was very fun!

If you’re interested in joining or watching the game live, hop onto https://discord.gg/d4Qgyr8 :3

The log:

It was a stormy thunder night, you were lost and zombies were groaning after your flesh. All you asked for was to have a roof over your head and a torch and maybe some food. And then you just saw this big, old mansion... it didn't even look as spooky from the outside. Maybe the soak and smell of rotten flesh distorted your view a little.

Anyway, in a situation like this, most people would find it a reasonable decision to go inside and stay for the night, right? Or was it?

Well, at least those other guests won't blame you.

They all went inside, just like you did. And they all got a white pumpkin put over their head by an invisible hand – a trap. For some reason, you couldn't even pull it off... probably a binding curse.

So now you're trapped, because going outside was no option, unless you wanted to become zombie food. And since the rain and the thunder didn't seem to go away soon... torches remained your only source of light.

But all the torches in the mansion couldn't light up the mystery that was hidden in this mansion. You weren't exactly sure why, but someone among the guests was... different. Like, weird. Unpredictable.

It was only a matter of time that you found a dead body in front of your door in the room you were sleeping in so soundly.

Innocent guests, it is time.

To find.

CASSIE ROSE!

*thunder roll*

More under the cut~

THE GUESTS:

Punkin, as Xara, SURVIVED

Batgurl, as Harper, DIED

Chuck, as Radar, DIED

Sea, as Ellegaard, SURVIVED

lowercase, as Petra, SURVIVED

Sparks, as Gill, SURVIVED

Angelic, as Jesse, DIED

Techfish, as Cassie, DIED

Jacque, as Jack, SURVIVED

Topaz, as Stella, SURVIVED

Night #1

Punkin stayed in the entrance hall and kept on watch the whole night. Batgurl chose to go to the library and investigate the room for traps. They were sucessful, and so the trap didn't kill them. Good job! Chuck went to the living room and lay down, waiting for their near-death-experience. And... they died. They got hit by a trap! Daaang! Sea chose to go to the attic and hit the hay, praying that no one will murder them in their sleep. And they remained alive. Lucky! Lowercase too went to the attic to sleep in pure safety. Sparks went for the bed champer... *again.* And he was alone. *AGAIN*. Dé­jà-vu! Knowing that they're stuck in a time loop, they flew to the attic. And they survived. Seems like they're writing a new story now. Angelic decided to just hit the hay in the attic. Techfish sneaked into the kitchen and set off a trap in the library, the living room and the gallery each, grinning evilly. Jacque followd the crowd to the attic and caught some good sleep. Topaz... did basically what everyone else did. Up to the attic and sleep. Good decision.

Death: 1 (Chuck)

Day #2

Punkin voluntared to detain Sparks and Jacque.

Night #2

Sparks and Jacque agreed in peace to let themself get detained by Punkin so they could proove their innocence. Punkin poked them all night and thus prevented them from falling asleep. Batgurl went hiding in the attic so that they could get some rest. Sea sneaked to the bed champer, hoping that no one will kill them tonight in their sleep. Lowercase stayed in the attic to sleep. Angelic's curiosity lured her to the library. They chose to stay awake and see who the murderer might be. While they were staring into the flames of the chimney to try and keep their eyes open, suddenly, the ground under them disappeared, leading them to fall deep and die. Darn! Techfish sent Winslow to lurk to the attic and see who's are hiding up there. They then went to the living room, entered the secret passage way and set off traps in the library, kitchen and the dining room. Topaz went to the dining room, but got uneasy and decided to flee back to the attic and sleep, leading Cassie's trap to fail! Hurray.

Death: 1 (Angelic)

Day #3

No votes were being made.

However, the deads seem to have gotten bored and disturbed the peace we totally had. Moving cups and one object whispered out loud "Deez nuts". And a lamp shaked in disapprove. Yeah, we ain't gonna forget that. It was very spooky.

Night #3

Punkin, being mega tired, dragged themself to the attic to finally get some rest. Jacque convinced Batgurl to follow them to the dining room, promising they'd protect them in their sleep. But as soon as Batgurl closed their eyes and drifted away in the land of sleep, Jacque sneaked to the dining table and pressed the button towards Butgurl, activating a trap and killing them! Damn, what a betrayal at a sleepover! Sea chose to stay in the bed chamber as it seemed safe. This night they stayed up late though, to keep out an eye for traps – and sucessfully avoiding being killed by Cassie tonight. You can never be too careful! Lowercase stayed in the attic and slept again. Pff. Sparks first couldn't bring themself to move as the pillows were so comfortable, but then later the worries won and they decided to spent the rest of the night in the attic, taking the disbenefit of having to sleep on the hard, cold floor. Techfish sent Winslow to the bed chamber while bringing themself to the library to set off traps in the bed chamber, the kitchen and the gallery. Topaz convinced Lluna to try and steal Punkin's weapon; theyself went to sleep in the attic. Sadly, Punkin didn't have any weapons on themself.

Death: 1 (Batgurl)

Day #4

Punkin decided to detain Techfish and they could do nothing against it. Also, Punkin had a very strong feeling that Techfish was the murderer. Damn, telephatic skills, obviously. Jacque tried to convince the group that Batgurl must have died in the dining room, and that they should try to find out about their roommate. Nobody seemed to suspect anything, despite their odd behaviour. *Really?*

Night #4

Punkin detained Techfish and tried to make them uncomfortable so they couldn't sleep. However, Techfish didn't seem to mind the staring contest and slept soundly. Sea wanted to team up with Sparks to avoid anything bad happening in the bed chamber tonight, but then decided to sleep anyway. Lowercase decided that it was finally time to get out of the dusty attic and sleep in the kitchen. Sparks went for the bed chamber again, but eventually became uncalm and ran to the attic to be safe for sleep. Jacque dragged themself to the attic to immediately fall asleep. Topaz didn't know what to do, so they stayed in the entrance hall and did nothing but sit in the corner and ignore the groanting of the zombies outside.

Day #5

Sea waited for someone to volunteer to detain Techfish, but no one was offering, so they took the job themself.

Night #5

Punkin slept in the attic. What else to do. Sea dragged Techfish to the closet and locked it up paranoidal three times, but was chill to let them sleep. Lowercase thought that staying in the kitchen and sleep another night was a good idea. Sparks attended the sleep session in the attic. Is the time for comfortable beds over for good? Jacque thought it was a nice night to *not* kill someone and went to sleep in the attic. And so did Topaz.

The Last Day

Since nobody got hurt during the two nights Techfish was locked up, Sea suggested to throw them out. Sparks, Jacqe and lowercase went right with him; only Topaz said it might be a risk. As soon as nightfall came, Sea, Sparks, Jacque and lowercase worked together to apprehend Techfish. They chased them through all the rooms, but eventually managed to surround them in the bed chamber, which was still Spark's favourite place. With combined power, they grabbed Techfish by arms and foot and dragged them to the front door in the entrance hall, giving them no chance to fight back. Arrived there, they built up momentum and throwed them out for good. Techfish wishpered "You got me, Y a y" sarcastically as they see the zombies approaching, and eventually, they became dinner to the endless masses of zombies.

This night, everybody slept very well.

They were woken up by the first few beams of the sun they hadn't seen for 6 days. The thunderstorm has finally stopped, and so all the zombies were grilled in the light of day. What a beautiful morning. And so they decided to escape the mansion- wait. One more thing. How would they get these damn ugly pumpkins off?! ... Okay. Welp, NOTHING was alright! What a terrible stroke of fate! On the bright side though, at least there were enough pumpkins left to make pie. Mhmm.

~ THE END ~