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arting-block · 6 months

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 | Eleventh Doctor x F! Reader

❝𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯.❞

Summary: After a stressful day, you overhear Amy arguing with the Doctor. When he realized you heard everything, he tries to set things right.

Warnings: Angst, mentioned kidnapping, misunderstanding, pinning, comfort, the Doctor sucking at feelings

Words: 3.8K

A/N: I'm finally getting through the requests sitting in my inbox. This one was one of my favorites I've done in a while :) @shuichiakainx i hope you enjoy!!

You messed up. Badly.

The Doctor had explicitly stated for you to stay by his side. No wandering about, no talking to strangers, don't do anything foolish. The city you were visiting had a different culture, one steeped in brutal violence. Any slight can be perceived as an invitation for war.

You should've minded your own business. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten kidnapped. Even though your friends freed you hours ago, you can still feel the imprint of metal cuffs around your wrists. Your hands busy themselves with rubbing the area, bandages wrapped around your pulse where the metal snagged your skin.

You tried to defend an elderly man from getting hurt by a group of teenagers. You foolishly tried to shield the man from the onslaught of abuse, hoping to simply talk to the teenagers so that things wouldn’t escalate. Oh how wrong you were.

You knew you messed up. You had already regretted your choices the moment rough hands gripped your arms and hauled you into a foreign ship.

The Ashmadas were almost a whole head taller than you. Thick yellow hides that became scaly along their joints, blunt canines that were meant for crushing bones and skin, and the fluorescent eyes that glowed even in pitch black darkness. A species that evolved from war and brutality. Even the most intimidating human would look like field mice in comparison.

What you hadn't anticipated was the cold demeanor of your Doctor. You imagined him being cross, yes, but never downright angry. The moment he and the Ponds made it to the threshold where you were held, you noticed how calloused he had been. Snarling words, tension rippling beneath the skin. Furious didn't begin to explain his behavior. He threatened to set off a bomb that will incinerate everyone in the ship and release a plague to their already dwindling community. When you finally got out of your shackles, the Doctor barely even acknowledged you, hellbent on making the Ashmadas a new endangered species. It was only when you grabbed his face, forced him to see the tears as you begged him to leave, did he finally back off.

As the four of you retreated to the console room of the TARDIS, the Doctor makes a flimsy excuse about needing to check the ship’s engine. The day’s events have been heavy for all of you, so you knew it was more about him needing space. When you tried to talk to him, he brushed off your touch and gave you a cold reply.

You walked back to your room not long after. Rory patched you up as best he could, using a concoction of human and alien medicine. He didn't speak much and you were grateful for the silence. The only words he slipped out were sincere apologies for not getting there sooner. There was something else he wanted to say, moments where he opened his mouth but nothing came out. You were, frankly, too tired to press further.

Once Rory left, you tried your hardest to get some sort of sleep. Your body was spent, bruised, and tattered. No matter how many times you turned or how much your body ached, your mind couldn’t stop racing. You’ve probably spent a good hour or so trying to get comfortable, but to no avail.

You were still on edge, thinking about the cramped cell you were placed in. How alone you felt. You’ve been in precarious situations before, but this was different. Three whole days of captivity in total isolation. No light peeking through so you had nothing to distract you. Just your own memories passing through your mind. It made you realize just how much your friends mean to you. How much their presence comforted you, how relieved you were when Amy’s voice cut through your dark Hell. You remember sinking into the Doctor’s embrace, crying into his jacket and muttering how sorry you were.

There was so much you wanted to tell him. Those three days spent curled into a ball were filled with memories of him. His laugh echoing in your ear while carrying you throughout the universe. Petty arguments filled with teasing and embarrassed faces. The way he finds himself beside you, always lingering like a string was attached between the two of you.

The most treasured memory of all was one where it was just the two of you. Talking about nothing and everything. Favorite color, worst kitchen appliance, obscure historical figures. You talked for hours, laying your whole life for him to dissect. When it was his turn to speak, you took the opportunity to study him. Cataloging the slope of his nose, the lines around his mouth, and his mannerisms. The way he points going in tandem with the pitch of his voice, how his whole body moves when he talks.

You wanted to scream in his face the moment you saw him. Tell him the three words you repeat in your head when he’s around. Instead, all that came out was unintelligible sobs into scratchy fabric.

Tell him, tell him everything.

The bed creaked when you moved to sit up. Your heart ached at seeing the Doctor’s fury and how silent he was when you came back. You caused him worry, not just to him, but to the Ponds as well. The last thing you want is to end the day on a sour note. He’s your friend after all, even if you wanted something more.

It didn’t take long to reach the console room. You took your time with each step, wanting to get your thoughts in order. You pick up voices coming ahead of you, muffled words that you cannot make heads or tails of. As you approach the end of the hallway, you hear the muffled words turn into the familiar voice of Amy in a rather accusatory tone. You peek around the corner, observing the view of your two friends from above.

Amy stands a few feet away from the Doctor, who is hunched over the console. Amy’s face is a mix of concern and disappointment, as if she’s scolding a child. You notice the dirt smeared shirt she still wears, meaning she hasn’t gotten back to her room just yet. Was she here the whole time?

Crossing her arms, Amy shook her head at the tired man in front of her. “You’re never going to admit it are you?”

“What are you talking about? There’s nothing to admit.” The Doctor’s answer is just as cold and detached as it was hours before. “If you’re just going to go back and forth with me all day then I suggest you go spend your time with your husband. I told you before I’m not in the mood for your scolding.”

Amy’s laugh is devoid of any humor. She takes a step towards the Doctor. You see the pent up anger in her; a fuse ready to blow. “You think you’re so good at hiding it. You think we’re too stupid to notice—that I’m too stupid to not bring it up?”

“What exactly are you talking about?”

You shouldn’t eavesdrop like this. If the Doctor found out that you were listening in on a private conversation, he would no doubt be more angry than before.

Amy ignored the question, wanting to force the Doctor into a corner to say what she wanted to hear. “I’m honestly impressed how long you’ve lasted. Were you going to bury your emotions and hope they would simply disappear? You think pushing her away is going to make it hurt any less? I see the way you look at her.”

The Doctor snaps back, angry and seething. “Spit it out already Amelia!”

“(Y/N)!” came her equally furious reply, one that echoed sharply in the large room.

Your heart skidded to a stop in your chest. Why was she goading him like this? You didn’t recall telling Amy about your feelings for the Doctor. Was it that obvious? If she noticed, does that mean…?

The Doctor was quick to invade Amy’s space. He towered above her, his teeth bared with provoked anger. “And what exactly do you want me to admit? That she's careless and doesn’t listen to a word I say? How do I have to clean up her mess after she did the one thing I told her not to?”

Hearing the pained emotion in his voice made every word sting harder. He was not wrong to say it, but it hurt nonetheless. You wished that he would’ve said it to your face rather than having to overhear it in the shadows.

He didn’t stop there. It seemed Amy had opened a dam of pent up thoughts and emotions. Words kept spilling from his lips, each one hurting more than the last. “You know what I see when I look at her? A fragile human being. Someone who is only going to occupy a fraction of my existence.”

“You love her,” Amy spits back, wholly convicted. Tears prick her eyes as she barrels on. “Admit you stupid old man. You. Love. Her.”

Her words seemed to shock the Doctor out of his wrath. He immediately steps back, as if her presence burns.

The two of them look at one another, chests heaving. Amy doesn’t back down, keeping her chin held high, meeting his burning gaze. The Doctor’s face is unreadable, partially due to the fact that you don’t have a good vantage point. The anger doesn’t leave him, but you could tell that he’s considering her words.

You hold your breath, not wanting to miss his response.

It comes out soft, barely within normal talking level, but in the dead silence of the console room you hear it as clear as day: “How can I love her? I won’t—I can’t let that happen.”

You felt your heart drop out of your chest. All of the hurt spirling inside your chest, clawing a cavernous hole to fill with despair.

He doesn’t love you.

You were paralyzed, replaying that awful sentence over and over again. You bring a hand to cover your mouth, feeling the droplets of tears already flowing.

He doesn’t love you and he’s making sure it doesn’t happen.

Are you that awful to be around? That the mere thought of being romantic with you makes him angry?

Your hand presses at the space where your heart lies. Your shirt twists, your body curling deeper into the shadows of the room. You’ve experienced heartbreak before, back on Earth throughout the years. Never like this. It was more than a simple rejection, but a swift blow to your entire worldview.

You thought, foolishly, that maybe there was something between you two. He wouldn’t have let you stay as long as you had if he didn’t like you. All those late night conversations…the small brushes of skin when no one is looking…all of the glances you caught more than once…

They were nothing.

Stumbling back into the hallway, you ran as fast as you could to your room. The TARDIS bestowed mercy on you, materializing your room just a few feet away. You didn’t think twice to fly open the door and slam it shut behind you. You knew the sound would travel to the console room and alert Amy and the Doctor, but you didn’t care.

The force of your cries shook your body, your sobs filling your room despite your hands trying to muffle them. Over and over you replay the entire conversation. You wished the TARDIS would swallow you whole and spit you far, far away from the Time Lord.

You hear the sound of thundering steps approach your room before the sound of frantic knocking against your door.

Before the person could utter a single word, you let out a strangled demand: “Go away!”

“(Y/N), I can—” the Doctor cut himself short. He let out a frustrated huff before starting again. “Please, it’s not what you think.”

Those words snapped you out of your whirlwind of sadness. Anger bubbled in its place.

“Not what I think?!” You didn’t think twice before forcefully opening the door. The Doctor jumps from his spot in front of your room, a show of surprise on his face. “I heard everything.”

The Doctor places his hand up in surrender. The cold, neutral face he had on before is completely wiped away, leaving a startlingly emotional one instead. “Please, if you give me a moment—”

“What more could you say to me?” It comes out shaky, with tears still dripping down your face in rivers. You no doubt look like a complete wreck, but you’re too upset to care. You’re tired of bottling your emotions up. You want him to know how much this meant to you, how much his words physically hurt you. “I know you’re already upset at me that I didn’t listen to you, I know that. You don’t get to stand there and act like this is a whole misunderstanding. I mean come on—fragile human?”

“I know and I’m—”

“I was so relieved to see you again. Three days, Doctor. Three whole days, spent in that cell waiting for you. I felt so guilty for not listening and I hoped that we could reconcile, but no. I was fine with giving you space, but then I had to overhear you talk about me like I’m some burden.” You force yourself to take a deep breath, choosing your next words carefully. “Is that how you really feel about me?”

The Doctor doesn’t respond, which makes you even more angry.

“Did you know?” you spit out. It took everything in you to not shut the door in his face and never come outside again. But you needed to know. “Did you know?”

The silence that came thereafter was deafening. The Doctor let his hands drop to his sides. You didn’t dare blink, watching his every move, waiting for a response. His head dips to the side, his lower lip caught in his teeth as he stares at a spot on the floor. You knew he knew what you were referring to.

When he lifts his head, you were surprised to see such bare remorse. Still, it does nothing to quell you; if anything you’re happy he’s feeling the guilt.

“Yes…I knew for a while,” he mumbled, forcing the words to come out. “Rory’s mum told me, said that you liked me. I told her that of course you liked me, I’m the Doctor. But she gave me a serious look and told me you fancied me.” His lips twisted up at the memory, but seeing your withering glare he quickly dropped it.

You gripped the doorframe, recalling the visit clearly. The Ponds had called you, wanting to go on another adventure after nearly three months of normalcy on Earth. In their absence, it was just you and the Doctor against the universe. Three months of staring longingly at the madman in a box, wanting to spill your guts but feeling too scared to. When the Ponds came back, you remembered Rory’s mum taking the Doctor to the side, whispering in his ear. You had asked what she said, but the Doctor gave a flustered reply. His ears were pink, and his words were hastily spat out.

“That was over a year ago. You knew all that time?” You wanted to scream every curse you knew, both English and alien. It took everything in you to not tear him a new one right then and there. “And I had to hear you say it to Amy of all people? Someone who also fancied you, and if I recalled kissed you?”

It was unfair to throw that back in his face knowing that they moved on from that incident. Amy had since made it explicitly clear that she loved him platonically and was wholly committed to Rory.

The Doctor took a tentative step towards you, unsure if you were going to disappear back into your room. He took another, and another. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, opting to stare at his scuffed shoes.

You could feel him get closer. It unnerved how much you still wanted to be near him, despite everything.

The Doctor’s hands found the curve of your cheek, gently tilting your face up to meet his gaze. Warm palms cupped the sides of your face and his thumbs wiping away the tears that still fell. The sheer intensity of his gaze pinned you in place, burning into you. You watch as his green irises start getting glassy; the planes of his cheeks become a flushed pink. He stood there for a few moments, simply holding your face, looking at you as if it’s the last time he ever will.

You let yourself bask in his touch. He took another step towards you, still holding your face. You closed your eyes as you felt the cool touch of his forehead against yours.

“Doctor—”

“You have every right to be upset.” He gave a chuckle, but you heard the pain in his voice. “You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you. I looked forward to the nights where you pester me with odd questions. Every morning I pray that you stay another day with me, hoping that you don’t wish to go back to Earth.”

The confession scares him, you feel it in the way he tries to keep his voice even. When he pulls his forehead from yours, he still hovers over your face, staring with the heat of all the feelings he tried so desperately to hide.

His eyes move over every inch of your face before settling back to your swollen eyes. You watch his eyes soften, as if he’s seeing the most beautiful star nestled in the depths of your pupils. So focused on the heat of his hands and the movement of his eyes, that you almost miss the twin stream of tears running down his own face.

The Doctor took one shuddering breath, letting his thoughts flow out. “I couldn’t let myself acknowledge my feelings—I couldn’t. Everyone I ever loved…everyone I got close to is gone because of me. I couldn’t let that happen, especially not to you. But then you had to get yourself kidnapped.” His voice trailed off, cracking at the memory.

You dared not to move, fearful that he would snap out of the spell he found himself in. You can’t recall a time where he was this open to you, about his feelings no less. All the pent up emotion you felt before settled to a dull throb in your heart.

“I would’ve brought the entire fleet down on its knees, have them beg for mercy.” You felt the rage in his voice, knowing full well that he meant every word. “When I couldn’t find you, I was terrified. You were gone before…”

His hands trembled, his breath became more ragged. You’ve never seen true terror on his face.

You whisper, just barely audible to his ears. “Before what Doctor?”

He shakes his head, almost wishing he didn’t open his mouth. When you silently pressed him to answer, he couldn't help but cave.

“I lied back there, with Amy,” the Doctor rushed, trying to get all his disorganized thoughts out. “I lied—I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

“What? Didn’t mean wha—”

“It already happened,” he cried, his body caving towards you. “I told myself I couldn’t let myself love you. I…I lied.”

You felt your heart stop for the second time today. Your mouth slightly agape, unsure of how to respond. The Doctor takes a half step, effectively caging your body against his. You own shaking hands rested atop of his, hoping to calm him.

“Every moment I spent with you, I spent yearning,” he says with such emphasis that leaves no room for doubt. You cry harder at the admission. “I took my frustration on you, made you think that I could never love you. I do—Stars, I do. You have no idea how much I do.”

You couldn’t hold back the loud sob that overtakes your whole body. A cry that leaves the Doctor’s two hearts aching knowing that he caused your pain. He continues to rub his thumbs over your cheeks, not to wipe away the tears, but to soothe you.

“Say it,” you plead, words scraping against your throat. “Say it and I’m yours. I’ll be yours forever.”

Your words trigger something in him, that same fear that made him distant towards you. He doesn’t move from his spot, paralyzed by the decision.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” came his equally desperate reply. “I can’t lose you too.”

“We’ll find a way. You always do.”

The Doctor sags against you, resting his forehead against yours once more. Cries of his own shake him, his tears joining yours on the TARDIS floor. You take it upon yourself to mirror his actions; your hands gently holding his face. His once bright, crystal green eyes were now blurred with tears, encased by swollen, flushed eyelids.

“I love you.”

A barely audible whisper, one meant for you. Said with such raw intensity that it echoes in your ear, seared in your mind forever.

The Doctor clears his throat, furrowing his brows in concentration. “I love you. Stars above, I love you.” He speaks louder, not wanting you to miss a word. “I’ve loved you for years and I was too much of a coward to tell you. I’ll make it up to you, show you how much I’ve wanted you, if you let me.”

A smile stretched across your face. Pure euphoria filled your body, buzzing with a high that made you lightheaded. You feeled the charged energy between you two. The Doctor stills, anxiously awaiting for your response.

“I’m yours,” you say in the shared space between you. A declaration, waiting for the final seal. “I love you, Doctor.”

The Doctor slants against you, finally removing the last inch of space between you. His kiss falls over you like the whispered confession he had given you. His lips mold against yours, slow and lingering. One kiss, then another. You grasp onto him, your hand threading into his hair, another along his jacket. His hands no longer tremble. You feel his palms leave your face and travel down to the curve of your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to his body.

When you pull away to breath, he wastes no time burying his face against your neck, peppering the heated skin with kiss after kiss. He finds the spot where your pulse meets your jaw, sucking on the skin harshly, making you shudder. The Doctor overwhelms your senses; his touch, his scent, the taste of his mouth—

The Doctor gives one final kiss against your lips, before releasing you. He watches you catch your breath, seeing your relieved smile stretching across your face. He feels his face mirroring that same delirious smile.

I’m yours, his two hearts sing. I’m yours forever.

#eleventh doctor request #eleventh doctor x y/n #eleventh doctor x you #eleventh doctor x reader #eleventh doctor #doctor who #bbc doctor who #11th doctor x you #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor x y/n #eleventh doctor angst #11th doctor angst

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whynotjohnlock · 1 year

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Y/N: it's-

Doctor: Bigger on the inside?

Y/N: *Is nerding out flapping hands wildly*

Y/N: is bigger even a real word? I was going to say a pocket dimension because realistically -entertaining the idea that this is real- this blue box thingy is probably on another pane of existence or at least engineerd a way to expand this plane of existence.

Y/N: With the rudementry laws of physics broken so easily, I can only assume that this ship- or TARDIS as you call it- has the ability to change it's weight, size and appearance and traverse through the fourth dimension most commonly known as time?

Y/N: Ooooh, what power source do you use that could sustain this? Do you have, like, a star as the heart of this and you're constantly zapping it's energy? Or maybe it's like a pulsar constaly spinning? Oh! What about a black hole stuck in like an energy absorbing stasis feld?

Doctor: *Is shook*

Y/N: What?

Doctor: I need you to shut up.

Y/N: oh, ok. I'm sorry for-

Doctor: *pulls Y/N into a kiss*

#doctor who #doctor who x male reader #10th doctor #11th doctor #the doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #the doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #doctor who x you

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multifandomfanficss · 6 months

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F*ck You?

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

and the rest of the 11th Street Kids

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Prompt: Adrian has his own secret way of asking you to sleep with him.

Warnings: Mentions of sex, but no actual sex. The team bullying Adrian as per cannon ☹️. Peacemaker typical language.

A/N: Just a silly little thought I had at 5am during a text convo with one of my best friends when I couldn’t sleep. Shout out Tyler for letting me bounce this idea off you. Thanks bestie! Just a short little fic. The italics are flashbacks. Crossposting on my AO3 adriansglasses.

Adrian stuck his middle finger up, pointed at you. You were going through some files on the other side of the room unable to see him behind the papers you were focusing on. Those who saw were giving him questioning looks.

“Dude why are you flipping off, (Y/N)? I didn’t realize you were mad at them” Economos decided to be the first to question him. Usually he didn’t care enough to ask, but even he was curious as to why Adrian was enthusiastically flipping you off.

“Oh! That’s because I’m not. I just wanna have sex when we get back to my apartment. I was saying can I fuck you.” Adrian says, as if it’s obvious. Chris begins to laugh, having overheard the conversation.

“Oh my god. I’m not sure if you’re insane or an idiot.” Harcourt rolls her eyes, walking away.

“I’m pretty sure he’s both. You know that’s not what that means right?” Economos questions.

“It has two meanings.” Adrian says in a very matter of fact way.

“No, it doesn’t.” John argues.

“Then how do they always know what I mean?” Adrian asks, as if he’s proving his point.

Chris continues to laugh to himself as Adrian and Economos argue.

You’re deep in thought, not paying them any attention when Leota passes you the file you were looking for.

“Thanks!” You smile at her.

“Why is Adrian flipping you off?” She asks.

You look over at him, blushing. You nod.

“See!” Adrian yells throwing up his arms. “Two meanings! I told you!”

“Oh god.” You blush, hiding your face in one of the files. You didn’t need the entire team knowing you were going home to have sex after this, but it’s not like it was that big of a surprise. You’d been dating Adrian for a while, of course you had a sex life. “I don’t know how or why he got it into his head that fuck you means can I fuck you- but like I personally think it’s very clever and very cute so I just don’t correct him.” You laugh, deciding to be honest with Leota.

You thought back to the first time he flipped you off in such a manner. You were out with the team celebrating with drinks after a mission. He threw up his middle finger, drawing a question mark in the air with the other hand. You looked at him with a confused look and mouthed. ‘Are you asking me to have sex with you?’ and he mouth back, ‘Isn’t it obvious?’. Only Adrian could think something like that was obvious. Only Adrian would even do something like that. You smiled, laughing quietly to yourself. It was so uniquely him.

Chris was still laughing uncontrollably in the back. He was thinking of the first time he’d seen Adrian do this too. Little did everyone else know Chris had been the one to teach it to him long before you were dating.

“You really wanna know how I pick up chicks across the bar?” Chris asked with a shit eating smirk.

“Please!” Adrian begged. He could pull girls as Vigilante no problem, but it was a lot harder without the suit.

“Be direct. Just ask if she wants to go home with you. The most subtle way to be direct is to flip her off.” Chris falsely informs.

“Wait… you want me to be subtle and direct? I’m confused.” Adrian asks.

“Well, yeah. You want her to know, not the whole bar.” Chris quickly lies.

“I always thought flipping somebody off was an insult.” Adrian is rightfully cautious.

“It has two meanings. It’s like special. Special can mean you’re one of a kind, cool, awesome, or it could be used the other way.” Chris explains.

“Oh! Okay!” Adrian smiles, before pausing, with a pondering facial expression. “Wait! You call me special all the time.”

“You should hit on that girl over there!” Chris redirects.

“Okay… here goes nothing…” Adrian says, slowly raising his middle finger. The girl looks shocked and starts to walk up to the two men at the bar. “Oh wow! I think it worked!”

Her pace picks up. She walks up to Adrian, slapping him, hard.

“Wait! This is positive! I’m hitting on you!” Adrian says frantically with his finger still up, as she walks away.

“Aw! Fuck! Do you think maybe she had a boyfriend?” Adrian asks, adjusting his glasses and rubbing his jaw.

“Yeah, maybe.” Chris laughs hysterically.

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chessholic · 7 months

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　ー　Feelings　ー

11th Doctor

(feat. 10th Doctor)

Summary: You didn't expect to meet the Doctor with a totally different face.

Author's Note: Hey! I am not super pleased with this. However I hope you enjoy it. Bare with me, I am getting better at this. :)

You cheerfully exited the TARDIS skipping down the cobble stone street. The Doctor couldn't help, but smile while his eyes shined all the love he held for you. You just didn't see it, maybe you were too afraid to.

"So, what are we doing?", you asked curiously turning to face him. You were in London shopping for something.

"I just need to buy some-", the Doctor came to a stop raising a finger to his chin. He seemed to be in deep thoughts.

It was rare because usually he was all over the place and you needed to watch out his hands that moved almost as fast as his rambling. So this quiet moment was something new.

"Blimey...", he muttered under his breath.

"You forgot again?", you asked smirking at his sarcastic smile to you. You skipped back to him and took his hand.

"Let's explore and maybe it will find us", you told him and pulled him with you.

The Doctor couldn't ignore how nice your hand felt in his, your hand was comforting, you couldn't get lost when you held his hand. And you tried your best to calm your beating heart and thoughts. The Doctor was your safe place, he gave you comfort.

If you only knew that the feeling was very mutual.

You two have dated for a while now, but you both were a bit afraid. The Doctor was already afraid of losing you and you were afraid of the pain it would cause him. You two hadn't kissed yet, the tension and idea lingering in the air, making it thick to breathe.

Sometimes the tension felt suffocating, so many emotions, but no one said anything.

The love you held for each other was evident, but neither of you had said the three magical words.

I love you

ー

You and the Doctor were exploring a huge market that was packed with people. At some point you two got separated. The panic was filling you, suffocating you. People were hitting your shoulders and making you lose your balance. All the sounds and people yelling seemed to quiet down, like the time had stopped.

Closing your eyes and trying to stop hyperventilating you prepared for the fall waiting for the hard ground. However you felt someone taking you in their arms.

"I got you", someone said with a comforting voice. Carefully you opened your eyes meeting warm looking brown eyes that had a hint of concern in them. However the thing that struck you was the fact that his eyes were oddly familiar. The man carefully helped you to your feet.

"Please, can you help me away from-", you quietly asked, but stopped when a person almost knocked you over again.

"Yes, let's get you away from here", he stated determined to get you away from the crowd that seemed to cause you your distress.

ー

Finally you found a quiet sideway and you leaned against a wall breathing still a bit unevenly.

"Are you okay? Can I help?", the man asked awkwardly, you were reminded of the Doctor. Your Doctor always wanted to help everyone, often forgetting himself in the process.

Doctor!

"I need to find him", you muttered closing your eyes trying to steady everything, your body and mind. The world was spinning and you could see black dots.

Why did you agree to this trip? The Doctor was your safe place and only he could get you through these situations.

"Find who?", the man asked and finally you took a good look at the man.

He was wearing Converses. Why? He had a light brown faux-suede duster coat on and he had a tie. Your Doctor always wore bowties. How would he look with a tie?

The man was odd, but at the same time you felt something familiar.

"Thank you so much, my saviour, what is your name?", you tried to joke, but you felt awful.

The man perked up and apparently tried to make himself look important because he raised his chin and pushed his chest out a bit.

"I am the Doctor", he announced flashing a charming smile.

"No, you're not", you said furrowing your brows.

A smile on the man's face faltered and turned into confusion.

"What?", he asked, that was not a reaction he was expecting.

"You are not the Doctor", you repeated nervously and tried to get away from the man.

"You are from the future? Do you travel with me?", the man asked with curiosity, but kept a distance between you two. His eyes were honest, just like your Doctors.

They also held the same wise look in them. Could he really be? He once mentioned something about regeneration.

Carefully you walked closer to him. The Doctor watched curiously what you were going to do.

You lifted your hands up close to his face. You waited for permission. The confused man didn't say anything so you gingerly touched his face. Your face breaking into a toothpaste commercial smile made the man's hearts skip a beat. He could see how much love your eyes hold for the future him, for him.

"So you have always been handsome, but not ginger", you whispered your voice a bit shaky from the unexplainable emotion that was in your throat.

A small chuckle escaped his lips. "And who you might be?".

"I am not sure if I am allowed to tell you that", you answered a bit cheekily making the man grin.

You carefully took your hands away from his face suddenly craving to find your Doctor.

"Y/N!"

You both turned to see where the shouting was coming from.

"Doctor!", you yelled back tears streaming down your face, however they were happy tears.

Finally down the alley ran a tall lanky man who was nothing like the skinny spiky haired man next to you.

His brown wild hair was messier than usual, probably from him running his hand through his hair in stress. His green eyes were frantically searching for anything that would indicate you would be hurt.

"You are okay, you are okay", he rambled pulling you to his arms. He buried his face to your neck inhaling your scent.

"Blimey, I was so worried. I will never let go of your hand again", he muttered taking your face in his hands.

"I am okay, Doctor. Nothing bad has happened", you reassured him bringing your hands on top of his that were holding your face carefully while his eyes scanned you throughout.

"I love you so much Y/N, I cannot lose you", he confessed voice thicker than usual.

Before you could even answer to him, his lips captured yours. Regardless of the storming emotions the kiss was gentle and loving.

It made you weak in the knees. Oh how many nights did you imagine what this moment would be like, how this would feel. You needed to admit that it felt better than you could have ever imagined.

After a moment you two pulled away catching your breaths.

"I love you too Doctor, with all my heart", you whispered making the Doctor smiling brighter than the sun.

"What are you doing here?", the Doctor asked after a moment of silence.

"Oh you-", you looked where the past version of him used to stand. However the skinny man had disappeared into thin air.

"I just needed to get away from the crowd", you explained, it technically was the truth.

He accepted your answer and took your hand smiling giddily.

"Let's get back to the TARDIS"

"That sounds great", you responded leaning against his side resting your head against his shoulder.

Near the TARDIS you felt eyes on you. Turning around you were met with brown eyes that seemed to shine brighter than the stars you had seen.

You blew him a kiss and winked before disappearing into the TARDIS.

The Doctor watched as the TARDIS disappeared. Oh how he wanted to find you. He didn't know you, but he could already feel how you were a missing piece from his soul.

He really loved you already.

ー

"Why on earth did you wear sandshoes?"

"Oi!"

ー

#doctor who #doctor who image #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor #eleventh doctor x reader #eleventh doctor

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goldensunflowe-r · 2 months

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Things that I would let THIS eyebrowless man with long ass legs do to me is too inappropriate to say even for Tumblr.

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13thdoctorplease · 6 months

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Hiii, I was wondering if you could do headcannons for the doctors and having an affectionate/cuddly s/o? My fav doctors are 9 & 10 but any doctors are fine <3

your favs are 9&10 and mine are 11&13... so why just dont go with all of them? here you go, anon!

9th: At first, he gives you some weird looks. You grab his hands while walking, and he shoots you a side-eye, but he lets you. Whenever you need him, he's there. When you let him go, he steps back. He doesn't like it when you tap his head or cup his cheeks; he'll pout until you're laughing and wrapping your arms around his neck. Eventually, he gets used to holding you with an arm around your shoulders, letting you rest your head on his chest. Strangers often mistake you for a long-term couple, but in reality, you're just clingy, and he... well, he just can't say no to you.

10th: He's not really expecting it when you run into his arms just because you're excited about the planet you're both visiting, but he immediately accepts and hugs you tight. Later, he realizes he really enjoys physical contact when your hand is always on his arm while you talk. You hug him from behind when he's turned to the console, and he doesn't let you see his smile, but his hands are over yours anyway. You're affectionate, but he's needy. He likes holding hands, and eventually, he starts initiating contact too. It's nice, and you blush when people say you two would make a beautiful couple, especially when he agrees.

11th: He's the one who starts it. He has a hand on your back while you two explore an alien museum, and you take the chance to melt onto his body. He looks at you but says nothing, and now this is simply your thing. You like to be in his arms and to kiss his cheek, and he reciprocates by letting his chin rest on your shoulder/head (depending on how tall you are) and kissing your forehead before you go home. He's soft and goofy, and sometimes he doesn't let you get out of his embrace.

12th: He's not a hugger, and you respect it, but there are plenty of other ways to show your affection. You run your fingers on the back of his neck when sitting next to each other and always play with the collar of his shirt. He tries to pull your hands away, but you come back every time until he gives up and kisses your wrist, letting you do whatever you want. Sometimes he doesn't respond to your touch, but the look in his eyes already says everything you need to know.

13th: She loves everything you do and doesn't seem to notice when you tangle your fingers together. She holds your hand in hers as if it were usual, and that's pretty much it. She's obsessed with hugs, and it's kind of hard to find a moment where she isn't all over you. You couldn't imagine a happier life.

#13th doctor x reader #12th doctor x reader #11th doctor x reader #10th doctor x reader #9th doctor x reader #doctor who imagine #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who headcanon

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tree0frog · 7 months

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Hello, found these pretty interesting so I’d thought I’d request a Doctor Who matchup. The name’s Zaria. I’m 4’11, decently thin but have a more athletic build, and I change the color of my braids every time I get the chance. I mostly dress in Romantic/Vampire Goth aesthetic wardrobe and makeup but I do dress comfortably in a band tee and some oversized clothes. I’m an eclectic music listener, but mostly prefer rock/metal and 80s music. I draw, play drums, dance as well as skateboard everywhere I go. I’m said to sometimes have a RBF(resting b— face) but end up being the cool and funny person in the friend group. I’m also a concert and event junkie, a history buff (especially regarding major points in music history) and a wrestling fan. I speak way faster than my brain, multitasking is the only way I thrive, vinyl records are a must, I overanalyze and think too critically or logically about things, and I fall into rabbit-holes about interests every other week.

sorry if it’s lengthy. your account is awesome btw.

thank you <3

Hii thank you so much. !!! and it's okay the more info the more I can go off with :}

Master list

request~open

matchup~open

i pair you with amy

l can defo see the two of you sneak into to bar during your late teens

can also see Amy learning how to do your hair so you can do it together

for your 18 she gave you a vinal that was from your favorite band

since Amy is quite tall if the two of you have similar body types you take half of her wardrobe

if you end up traveling with her Rory and the doctor you will give random facts from the period you're in

your river godparent

you tried to teach her how to play the drums but she ended up somehow breaking the sticks

#fanfic #x reader #doctor who #doctor who x reader #drwho #tardis #amy pond #amy x reader #the ponds #11th x reader #11th doctor #matchups

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shuichiakainx · 2 months

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specialagentlokitty · 16 days

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11th doctor x reader - tired rambles

Hi, hope you're doing well. Could I request a Doctor Who 11th Doctor x reader with this prompt that the reader will say "I love it when you're half asleep, hair sticking out everywhere and rambling nonsense. It's cute"? - Anon💜

It wasn’t often the doctor slept, it was even rarer that the time lord would stay in place for more than a few days at most.

But sometimes all his adventures would get to him, and he would always find his way to your front door, and today was no different.

You hadn’t long woken up when you heard the sound of him knocking on your door and calling out your name repeatedly.

Unlocking the door, a very tired but still slightly hyper doctor came stumbling through with a bright smile on his face.

“You’ll never believe what I just saw! The sun as a person! It had arms and legs!”

Blinking a few times, you close the front door and turn to face the doctor who was now wondering around your living room rearranging things it out realising.

“I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“The sun? With arms and legs…?”

“Exactly! Yes! A whole burning planet with a body! Why did it have a body you ask! I don’t know!”

The doctor ruffled his hair and turned around to look at you.

He was clearly tired, and his clothes slightly disheveled.

He had clearly just gotten back from an adventure.

“And all I could think about was how much you’d love to see something like that! I wanted to come back and get you to show you but then I lost control of the TARDIS and she wouldn’t move and the sun just swatted me around like a bouncy ball!”

You nod along, walking over to him and gently take his arm to lead him to your room.

The doctor placed his hand over yours and followed behind you, still telling you all about his latest adventure and everything that happened, even as you sat him down on your bed.

Carefully you remove his blazer, setting it aside and take off his bow tie, undoing the top button on his shirt before guiding him to lay down.

Putting his blazer and bow tie on the chair in the corner you come back over to sit next to him, smiling softly.

“Turns out the sun was just young, and wanted somebody to play games! So that’s what we did, we played all sorts of games! I taught the sun some games you taught me!”

The doctor looks at you and pauses his rambling when he sees you smiling at him, and he smiled even brighter.

“Why are you smiling?” He asked.

This makes you laugh a little bit, and you gently place your hand on his head, carefully running you fingers through his hair which makes him hum happily.

"I love it when you're half asleep, hair sticking out everywhere and rambling nonsense. It's cute.” you say softly.

The doctor smiles a little more, closing his eyes as you carry on running your fingers through his hair.

“You think I’m cute…?” He asks tiredly.

“I think you’re really cute, now go to sleep.”

He goes to protest but a yawn cuts him off, and he rolls on to his side, holding your hand to his chest as he falls asleep within seconds

#doctor who #doctor who x reader #doctor who x you #doctor who x y/n #doctor who imagine #11th doctor #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor x you #11th doctor imagine #eleventh doctor #eleventh doctor x reader

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redskull199987 · 9 months

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Happy Tears

11th Doctor x fem!reader Word Count:1.7k Warnings:none at all, all fluffy. This is set in the first episode of season 7, so also no spoilers Summary:You knew that the Doctor was alive. Not only because you refused to believe that he was dead, but also because River told you that he wasn’t. The only question was, If he would return… Masterlist

The Doctor didn’t plan on returning. He really didn’t. He thought it would be safer for them. For Amy and Rory. And for you. He believed that it was his duty to protect his friends. And he did that in keeping his distance.

But were you really just a friend? Was that really all you were to him? He remembered the day he met you, as if it were yesterday. When he still had another face. Just a young girl with a pure heart and no idea whatsoever to do with her life. And the Doctor just came along and swooped you away. Quite literally, as he had to save you from an exploding building. It always made him smile, when he remembered with how much confidence you jumped off that roof and into his Tardis.

And he was there to catch you. He would always be there to catch you. He knew that and so did you.

In fact, the Doctor was embarrassingly aware of how often he looked after you, visiting you without telling you, just admiring you from afar and making sure, that you were safe. He sometimes even saw you with the Ponds. On coffee dates with Amy or cruising around with Rory in his new Car.

Or simply just for Christmas Dinner.

And that was exactly what brought him back. Christmas Dinner. He wasn’t sure if this really was the right choice, but he knew he had to try. To at least keep in contact with you. Who knows, maybe even take you on an adventure or two.

His two hearts were beating rapidly, as he made his way out of the Tardis. The dark Blue front door of the Ponds immediately catching his attention. And he was about to go knock, when he decided to look back at the Tardis one last time, pondering if he should leave again. But what he saw instead, caused his breathing to stagger for a second.

There you were. Just walking down the street, probably on your way to the Ponds. Just like the Doctor. He slowly walked back onto the street again and took in your appearance. A big fluffy coat covered most of your body. He could barely see your black boots underneath it. He couldn’t prevent the chuckle that left his lips, as he realized that you were wearing a long multi-colored scarf that was tightly wrapped around you. Your gaze was directed to the floor, while you slowly walked towards him. A pair of big headphones sat atop of your head, which was probably the reason why you didn’t see him yet.

The Doctor just stood there for a few seconds, enjoying this moment. The knowledge, that you would see him in a few moments and sprint towards him, probably with tears in your eyes, as he could finally hug you again. Feel your body against his, hear your sweet voice again. Oh and your eyes, your big curious eyes would finally look at him, with the most adoration, he had ever felt in his life.

It seemed that the doctor got too caught up in his thoughts of you. Only when you called out to him, he snapped back into reality.

“Doctor?”, You asked nervously, your voice breaking slightly.

But the Doctor didn’t say a word, he only smiled at you and opened his arms. And as he predicted, You immediately ran towards him and when your body collided with his, it almost took him off his feet. But after a few seconds, he managed to find his footing again. The smile on his lips only got bigger, as he heard your relived chuckle, while you held onto him tightly.

After a few moments of intensely hugging each other, the two of you finally parted again. The Doctor looked down at you, his smile bigger than ever and his eyes practically glowing. His hands were still laying on top of your shoulders. He finally had you back. After all this time of traveling alone, he finally had you back.

“Hello? Earth to Timelord?!”, you suddenly said, waving a hand in front of his face, startling him slightly. You could only chuckle at his reaction:”You haven’t changed a bit, Doctor.”

“Is that good or bad?”, he asked curiously. You could hear a bit of nervousness lingering in his voice, while his gaze slowly drifted from your eyes to your lips.

“Oh Doctor.”, You chided, your hand rising to grasp his cheek,”No matter how much you change, you’ll always be my Doctor.”

All of a sudden, the Doctor seemed to find his confidence again and a smirk appeared on his face:”Your Doctor?”

“Ehm, I-I mean…”, you stuttered helplessly, looking down while you felt heat creeping up your neck and all the way to your cheeks,”You know what I mean, Doctor.”

“Do I now?”, he teased further. But your breath stocked, as he suddenly grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand back to rest on his cheek. You looked back up at him, confusion written all over your face.

“I do.”, he finally said, after a few seconds of Silence. A content smile graced his features, while he slowly leaned closer to you:”The Question is, do you?”

His words were hushed and gentle, only for you to hear. His gaze was focused on your lips only and it seemed like he waited for permission.

“I do.”

That was all he needed. He pressed his lips against yours tenderly. Almost afraid that you would push him away again. But you didn’t. On the contrary, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, while you deepened the kiss.

The Doctor, a bit surprised by your reaction, wildy waved his hands around for a second, before he finally decided to rest them on your waist. His touch was soft, treating you like you were porcelain. It was similar to his kiss.

When the two of you had to part, the need for oxygen finally becoming too overwhelming, both of you were panting rapidly, but still holding onto each other for dear life.

“It was about time, wasn’t it?”, You asked after you had caught your breath again. The Doctor could only nod, before he leaned in again, kissing you softly on your forehead.

“I’ll always…always be here for you.”, the Doctor mumbled,”I’ll alway protect you.”

You watched how a tear ran down his cheek. You gently raised your hand again and wiped it away.

“Look at you.”, you smiled,”Happy tears, that’s a first, isn’t it?”

“There’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”, he agreed, while pulling you closer again. for one last time, he pressed his lips to yours. It only lasted a few seconds, but it made you long for more.

Only now, as you were about to knock at the Pond’s door, probably bringing them the biggest surprise in their life yet, you spotted something behind the Doctor.

“You know what?”, you said, patting his chest lovingly, “You go say hi to the Ponds, I’ll say hy to the Tardis.”

The Doctor could only smile at you:”She missed you almost as much as I did.”

“Of course she did.”, You grinned before sprinting towards the Time Machine.

You took in her form. She looked exactly the same, but it still made your heart flutter. You hastily pulled out your Tardis key, that you always carried with you, just in case, and quickly opened the door. You took a deep breath in, before stepping inside. Almost immediately, you heard the familiar humming coming from the console.

“Oh I missed you too, old girl.”, You smiled, quickly ascending the stairs to look around.

”He’s taken good care of you, hasn’t he?”, you breathed out, while taking in the familiar surroundings. It felt so good to be back.

“And you took good care of him, hm?”, You whispered, your hand now resting on the console. You heard the distant humming again and you took it as a yes. Before you could say anything more, the monitor suddenly came swinging towards you. You quickly ducked away, afraid you might hit your head.

“You want to show me someth-”, Your voice died down, as you saw it. The small picture of you, taped to the edge of the monitor. It was the day, the Doctor took you onto your first adventure together. You looked so young, you almost couldn’t belive your eyes.

“Thank you, old girl.”, You smiled contently, before quickly making your way outside again.

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left your lips, as you saw the Doctor and Amy in her doorway, just staring at each other, both too stubborn to hug first. You swiftly jogged over to them.

”Just hug already!”, you shouted, while simultaneously pushing the Doctor against Amy, forcing both of them to hug. Laughing erupted in the hallway, while the two fo them finally hugged.

“Rory?!”, You questioned into the kitchen,”Look who finally showed up!”

Only seconds later, Rory’s head popped out of the Kitchen. A smile soon appeared on his lips, as he saw who your entourage was.

“Was about time.”, he chuckled, patting the Doctors shoulder,”Come on, we were about to eat.”

“If it doesn’t cause too much trouble.”, The Doctor said nervously, while searching for your eyes for help.

“Oh don’t worry.”, You chided.

“Yeah, she’s right.”, Amy agreed,”We always set up a place for you. Come on.”

With that, the Ponds walked back into the kitchen, while you and the Doctor remained in the hallway for a few more moments.

“Oh Doctor. We already had that today, didn’t we?”, You chuckled softly as you raised your hand again to wipe away his tears,”You know, I could get used to you happy crying.”

His entire face changed in seconds,”Don’t you dare.”, without another word, he pecked your cheek before following the Ponds into the Kitchen. You could hear the sound of their laughter chiming into the hallway.

A content smile sat on your Face. You were finally home, together with the people you loved most.

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awkward-halfhug · 3 months

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permission | eleventh doctor x reader

summary: you have your first kiss with the Doctor

sequel here

(also on my ao3)

2.1k

He's gone and done something stupid again. Stupid and heroic and brave and you're proud of him and angry at him at the same time.

You had prepared things to say to him. Angry things. But looking at him now, fresh from the fight, planet saved and looking like he's just avoided death by mere inches, all your frustrated words are gone. You still feel something strong, but it's not quite anger. Not mostly.

Now, the feelings you usually shove to the way way back of your subconscious are surging through you with a vengeance. He's standing there in front of you like that and you can't ignore it.

There's a split in his bottom lip, and that's sort of attractive, and it shouldn't be. He's got cuts on his arms and a bit of blood on his face, right by his temple, and that shouldn't be attractive either, but it is. So is the dirt on his clothes, his tie hanging undone around his collar, his shirtsleeves rolled up messily to the elbows. His hair is all over the place and he has this wild look in his eyes that you can't quite decipher.

He's never looked more beautiful.

You swallow, hard. You need to get a hold of herself. You know you do. But you don't want to get a hold of yourself. Your fingers itch to reach out and touch him.

You hold back. Because of the what ifs, because of who you are and who he is and how he deserves more and how very insignificant you are. You hold back like you always do.

Until you don't.

His collar is between your hands before you can talk yourself out of it, yanking him to you. And he's surprised, you can tell by the little yelp he gives, but you hope it's not bad surprised.

Now that he's close, your heart beats faster. Both of his seem to as well, although that could be because you surprised him. You hope that's not why. His eyes seem less wild now, but you still can't read the emotion in them, which does nothing for your confidence in this situation.

You clear your throat.

"Doctor?" You say, much quieter than you meant to.

"Mmm?" He manages.

"May I kiss you?" You rasp out, somehow even quieter than before.

At this, the Doctor's expression clears and morphs into another complicated one. Mild shock, delight(?), and for some reason, amusement. He's got a funny little lopsided smile on his face when he replies after a thoughtful moment.

"Yes, you most certainly may."

You huff out a relieved laugh, before slowly drawing yourself up onto your tiptoes, and placing your palms on either side of his head. Your gaze meets his with shyness, but upon reading...something...in his eyes, you gain the confidence you need. Hesitantly, you close the gap between you and places your lips very gently on his face, right at the edge of his mouth.

You feels his breath catch. You hope that was okay. He said it was, so you'll try not to worry yourself over it.

You keeps your lips pressed there a moment. The Doctor won't have known it, but he is now your very first kiss, and you want to remember this moment for a long time to come.

Eventually though, you pull back, just a little, and move to place your second kiss on his nose. You close your eyes for a second and smile to yourself, because you're sure that must seem silly to him, but you can't help it. You've been wanting to do that for a long time.

You pull back and look in his eyes, belatedly realizing that you had asked for one kiss, but took two. You hope he isn't upset.

But he doesnt look upset. Although you still can't quite tell what it is his eyes are saying at the moment. He looks a little dazed. But you don't see anger. You do see confusion, however. But you did ask him, so why--?

"Doctor?" Your voice is slighter louder than it was before.

"Huh?" His has gotten quieter.

"Is this okay?"

"Ve-" he tries to say, but seems to choke on the word and starts again. "Very." He answers, and he seems sincere.

You should probably leave well enough alone now. He's probably tired. He probably wants to go home to the TARDIS and eat his weight in pastries and then go lose himself in machinery. You should probably let him. Still, you find yourself asking-

"Is...Is it okay if I...kiss you again?"

He looks on the verge of tears now and you have no idea why that is but you feel sorry immediately. You're about to backtrack when he smiles. A tender, genuine smile, full of affection. That, you can identify. And it's aimed at you. Now you want to cry.

He nods and you smile back at him.

You lean in and places your third kiss ever, on the other side of his mouth. Then your fourth ever kiss, on his cheek, right under his left eye. You feel him smile as you do so, and are surprised to find yourself slightly annoyed by that. It's hard enough to reach his face, even with him bending down slightly, and you on your tiptoes. Why must he move his face around like that?

He starts laughing abruptly and you realize you're pouting. You pull back, but when he reaches for you, you stop retreating.

His hands hover over your hips, waiting, as he asks you, "May I?"

You're not sure what he's asking, but you trust him. You nod.

His hands grip your sides firmly, but gently, as he lifts you up and places you on a surface behind you that you weren't even aware was there in the first place. He steps forward into your space and you realize you're now eye level.

"Proceed." He says. His eyes are playful when he says it, but he seems nervous somehow. The Doctor, 6 foot tall Gallifreyan, Oncoming Storm, your best friend the Doctor, nervous? Because of you?

It just doesn't make sense. So you file it away for further analysis at a later time. Right now, you do what he says, and proceed.

You bring your hands back up to his face and take a moment to just brush your fingers across his skin. He closes his eyes. You think that's a good thing. Then you lean in and place your...fifth? Or fourth? You're going to have to stop counting. Seems kind of silly at this point. A wave of giddiness surges through you as you realize you've now had too many kisses to keep track of. And they've all been with the Doctor. Your Doctor. Your best friend.

You place your possibly-fifth kiss right under his other eye. Then another just between his eyebrows. A feather- light kiss on one closed eye, then the other.

His breathing's gotten heavy, and his hands tighten a little on your hips. Your face heats a bit. You'd forgotten his hands were there.

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter and a tear escapes.

You let out an alarmed noise and his eyes open again, but you can't tell if he looks sad or not. You give him a moment to say something. He looks like he wants to.

"Can I kiss you now?" His voice sounds much more stable than the tear would suggest.

His question, while perfectly reasonable, has you floored. You're not sure why, but you hadn't considered that he would want to kiss you. You're aware kissing is usually a mutual thing but...but still.

Truthfully You're a little bit scared. You're not quite sure you're ready for...for the kind of kissing he's probably used to.

Her heart is thudding in your chest by the time you finally work up the courage to answer him.

"If...if you want to?" It came out like a question. Smooth.

One of his hands reaches up to cradle your head, like you did with his. And he brings his lips to your face, just to the side of your mouth, just like you had done to him. You feel herself gasping, just like he had. You get it now.

He takes his time, before bringing his lips to the tip of your nose, then the other side of your mouth, then to just below your eyes, one by one, tracing the same path you made with your lips on his face. It's so tender, and torturous and loving that it makes your chest ache. By the time he's done placing a kiss on each of your closed eyes you can feel yourself crying. Not just one tear, like the Doctor had, but a steady stream of them out of both eyes. You get that now too.

You feel his arms wrap around you, feel him pull you tight against his chest, and you sob. You don't even know what you're sobbing for, you just can't stop now. Your body wracks as the sobbing gets harder and his arms tighten around you, almost crushing you to him.

You're pretty sure this is not how someone's first kiss is supposed to go. Or someone's first several kisses. You were so happy a few moments ago. You're still happy, you're pretty sure of it. So why can't you stop crying? Whatever the emotion is that you're feeling, it's strong.

The Doctor's soothing voice breaks through your confused thoughts. He's saying things like "it's alright" and similar phrases, but amongst them are words in another language you only hear him speak when he thinks he's alone.

That thought distracts you enough to calm you down, and you pull herself together. Wiping your face with your sleeves, you pull back from him slightly. His arms loosen from around you but drop back down to your hips, not willing to release you yet. The thought makes you feel light again.

"Sorry" you say to his chest.

The Doctor hooks a finger under your chin and gently brings your face up to look at him.

Whatever it was you thought you'd see in his face- pity, awkwardness, regret; it's not there. What you see is understanding. Warmth. Affection. He smiles at you and you almost can't take it. Almost starts crying again. You doesn't, but just barely. What is wrong with you today?

"Can I have just one more kiss?" The Doctor whispers, and he looks unsure you'll say yes. You're acting like a crybaby, of course he's afraid you'll burst into tears again. But you do want another kiss, whether the tears give that impression or not.

You look him in the eyes and nod. You brace yourself for another feather light brush to your cheek.

He ducks his head, hesitates, and then his lips capture yours. You gasp. His mouth moves against yours and your brain short circuits. It takes you a few moments but eventually your mouth starts to move against his with unsure movements. He seems encouraged by this and presses his lips firmly into yours.

You can hear a whooshing sound in your head where coherent thought used to be. All you can think now is this is not like the other kisses, and more more more.

You pull back a centimeter from his lips so that you can catch your breath, and then you attache your mouth to his again, a little more forcefully than you had intended. He chuckles a little and you find yourself laughing with him, before he's kissing you again.

You move their mouths together for an eternity, or mere minutes, you have no idea. And then he surprises you again by running his tongue along your top lip. You gasp, again. And then his tongue is in your mouth, and you always thought that kind of thing sounded gross. But it's not. It's just...not. you feel like your body is going to explode and your legs feel like jelly and you're suddenly very glad he put you on this perch.

He pulls back, places several slow, pulling kisses to your lips, and then rest his forehead to yours.

He's breathing hard too, you're gratified to note.

Neither of you say anything for a while. You don't seem to need to.

The cool evening breeze brings you both back to reality when you shiver. The Doctor runs his hands up and down your arms to warm you and you lean into him, wrapping your arms around his torso. You both sigh contentedly together.

Your mind starts to sober as the adrenaline from the kiss wears off. You feel comfortable in his arms, and you want to stay there. Will you ever be able to be held like this by him again? What if he thinks this was a one-off? What if this was just another casual kiss for him? You've seen him kiss strangers before, usually in gratitude and he doesn't seem to think anything of it. Is this like that for him? You feel even colder now, and your shivers become more violent.

"May I hold your hand?" The Doctor's voice rumbles in her ear, causing you to shiver for a different reason.

The Doctor's companion pulls your head back to look at him. You're trying to read him but once again, his expression is unreadable. Yoy give up and focuses on what he said.

The way he says it gives you pause. Like he's asking for more than that. Like the answer to his question would be the start of something. Or like a continuation of things already started. Things you just put in motion. Or maybe they've been in motion for quite a long time, you've both just been ignoring it. Whatever the case, it renews your confidence. This is serious to him, just as it is to you. You know your answer.

"Yes, you most certainly may." You echo his words back to him.

His relief is clear on his face. He doesn't even bother hiding it. Have you not been the only insecure one in this relationship?

"Pastries back in the TARDIS?" The Doctor whispers.

You bury your face into him again and smile into his shoulder. "And cocoa."

"And cocoa. Mustn't forget the cocoa."

"Would be a crime" you nod.

"The worst kind." The Doctor agrees. "Let's go"

The Doctor lifts yoy off your perch and places you back on solid ground. You huddle into his side immediately.

Hand in smaller hand, you walk back to your TARDIS.

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