#150 mph

[listeningtocake]

So I’m trying to find the limits

[trashytummies]

Got into Alien Stage and ofc I simp for the most mentally healthy character <3

Luka, my beloved

[cyberneticdryad]

we are in 'dog relentlessly chewing on a chew toy' mode about weaving and spinning today

[system-of-a-feather]

Bruh I literally forgot I was running for like 20 minutes. I deadass am on mile 2 and have been going for half an hour and FORGOT cause Im just texting friends and processing thoughts and feelings

Like maybe I should ask my therapist to meet me at the gym or something.

Unironically might ask for a way to move and burn energy in therapy so I can be even MORE functionally communicative cause ngl I am far more intune with myself when Im on mile 2 minute 25 than when sitting

#When you are a part whose always been out to fight physically and emotionally growing up and now you only fully feel like you in combat and in a fight flight activated state

-XIV

[wildandmoody]

hate seeing a bad post right before the cutoff of where i left off bc it's like i could have just not seen that

[shallowseeker]

I think the blue Ford Fiesta is actually Sam’s because it gets 52 MPG

[brewdairymore]

the train to busan remake doesn’t have a 2023 release date (or any release date) any more, which is too bad bc (1) i do think timo tjahjanto could make a good remake and (2) regardless of whether it ends up being good or bad it will be absolutely hilarious watching the movie take place on amtrak

[amtrak-official]

Who cares about the superb owl, all matters is the acela train running between DC and Boston with speeds reaching 150 mph

[sluttywonwoo]

instead of you [part forty] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex (18+ ; mdni)

word count: 3.4k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

That night, you turned Jisung’s words over in your mind over and over again. He was wrong, you were convinced. You would love him the same no matter what. No matter if he asked you to end things with Minho or not. You told him as much but he didn’t seem to believe you.

You went back to your room shortly after your talk. You had walked a little more, stopped for dessert at a little shaved ice stand on the beach, and then turned back. Jisung showered first, then you, but only after going over your agreement again. What you did with Minho was your business, but it had to be kept a secret. You were still Jisung’s girlfriend for the duration of the trip. It was mainly about his parents anyway. Jisung hadn’t explicitly told you why having a girlfriend was so important to him but after spending so much time with his family you could guess why. 

The next day, everyone piled into the cars and took the forty-minute drive back to Honolulu where you’d landed. Traffic was awful. You knew it took everything in Minho not to honk at the cars in front of him. You could see his knuckles turning white around the steering wheel from the back seat. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” he cursed as another F-150 cut him off. 

You and Jisung traded looks but neither of you dared to say anything out loud. Even Felix’s grip on the armrest tightened when Minho swerved into the next lane to speed past the truck. 

“We’re not in a rush,” you reminded him. You wanted to touch his arm, reassure him somehow, but you couldn’t. 

“Yeah, Mom and Dad are way behind us now.”

“It’s not about speed,” he muttered. You weren’t really convinced about the speed thing. “It’s about the principle. These assholes shouldn’t be able to get away with driving like maniacs.”

“And what are you doing right now?” Jisung asked carefully. 

His twin brother turned around in his seat to give him a warning look but to everyone’s surprise, Minho took a deep breath and actually stepped on the brakes. He only slowed down a little bit, less than five mph, but it was better than nothing. 

“Sorry, I’m just so used to being late all the time.”

“We know,” Felix joked. 

“You should see my girlfriend drive,” your best friend joked. 

“Please, I passed my driver’s test on the first try,” you scoffed, making eye contact with Minho in the rearview mirror. 

He shook his head at you and mouthed low blow. Next to you, Jisung was also shaking his head. 

“Yeah, and I want to talk to whoever passed you because there’s no way they weren’t under the influence of something.”

“You’re in the fast lane to never getting a ride from me again,” you muttered. 

Jisung raised his hands in surrender. 

“Apologize,” Felix demanded, cutting in on your behalf.

“Yeah, apologize to me,” you agreed.

Jisung sighed and turned his full body toward you, taking both of your hands in his. “I’m sorry, my love. Please forgive me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.”

Jisung turned back toward his brothers. “I think I’m in the clear, guys.”

You smacked the back of his head. 

-

The first stop in Waikiki was the ABC store. There was one on almost every block so you stopped at the first one you saw to buy snacks and drinks for the beach. 

“How many musubis do you want?” you asked Minho, who was in charge of alcohol. 

“How many are you getting?” he asked back with a grin. 

He looked ridiculous with his arms full of beer, smirking at you like that. 

“Two,” you said flatly. 

“I’ll get two as well.”

You asked the others how many they wanted and raided the mini warmer for them before dumping them at the checkout counter with the rest of what the boys picked out. Dom paid and had the four of you take the bags back to the cars. 

The next step was to find parking somewhere on the streets that were within walking distance to the beach. You had to split up from Jisung’s parents to do so because there was no way you were going to be able to find two open parking spots on the same road. 

Once Minho parked, put money in the meter, and double-checked that the car was locked, the four of you slowly but surely made your way down to the shore where you met up with Nikki and Dom who had already picked out a spot in the sand. 

You had never seen a beach so crowded before. There were people everywhere. And all of the available space was being taken up by beach chairs and umbrellas that you had to rent from one of the several stands stationed behind them. Some of the different colored umbrellas even overlapped with each other in an apparent turf war. You could only imagine what conversations between the rival attendants must be like.

The beach was still beautiful, of course. You were in Hawai’i. Any beach here was going to be breathtaking. Waikiki Beach attracted so many tourists because of its beauty. 

“We rented four chairs,” Dom explained. “We figured not all of us would be sitting over here at once so we wouldn’t need six.”

Jisung nodded in understanding. 

“Are you going to surf?” you asked. 

“Probably,” he answered, looking over to his brothers. “I assume you won’t be?”

“I think I’ll sit this one out.” 

You turned your foot over to look at your toe. Even though all of the sea urchin spines had dissolved, the marks from the injury were still fading. You couldn’t see yourself back on a board any time soon. 

You were content to lay out in the sun with your book until Jisung wanted to wade in the water. 

The boys left to rent surfboards and their parents headed in the opposite direction for a walk along the beach, leaving you alone with all of the stuff. You joked to Nikki and Dom that you would protect it with your life but in reality, you would hand it over if someone so much as looked at you threateningly. 

You went to dig your book out from Jisung’s backpack but accidentally grabbed his instead. It was the one you had already read and annotated for him. Out of curiosity, you opened to where he left off to see what part he was at and were surprised to see his handwriting scrawled in the margins of the most recent page. 

He hadn’t stopped annotating it. Even after everything, even when he was simmering with anger, he was still writing you little notes and responding to the ones you had left. You weren’t supposed to read them before he was done so you quickly closed it back and shoved it into the bag again before retrieving the book that was actually yours. 

You took a brief look back up at the water to see how the boys were doing but there were so many surfers that it was hard to pick them out. 

“Which one’s yours?” 

The voice beside you startled you, making you jump a little before you realized someone had taken the seat next to you. 

You weren’t sure where she had come from but a girl who looked to be about your age was perched on one of the chairs the Hans had reserved. She was pretty, really pretty. Head full of curls and freckles dusted across her cheeks. The tangerine-colored bikini she was wearing looked amazing against her skin and you weren’t sure whether you were more jealous of her or attracted to her. 

“Huh?” you asked.

“Which one’s yours?” she repeated. 

“Oh.” You squinted at the waves, trying to zero in on Jisung. “Uh, blue wetsuit in the group of three off to the side.”

The girl followed your gaze and nodded when she found him. “They just got out there, right?”

“Yeah, we only got here a few minutes ago.” You noticed the camera dangling around and realized she must be out there for someone too. “Um, which one is yours?”

“Long hair, kind of far out. He’s in the big cluster of surfers in the swell.”

Her boyfriend was easy to spot. He was paddling in the direction of an upcoming wave.

“Do you guys come out here often?” you asked. 

She nodded, curls bouncing. “David’s lived in Kaneohe like all his life, which is like fifteen minutes from here so it’s super convenient. The North Shore isn’t as crowded but the waves are practically nonexistent in the summer,” she explained. “What about you guys?”

“We’re on vacation.” You were embarrassed to admit that but it wasn’t like you could lie. You didn’t know the island at all. You also didn’t want to risk mentioning that it hadn’t been your choice to come here and offend her if she thought you were implying that her home state was the worst or something. 

“Oh, how fun!” she exclaimed. Ok, well that was a positive reaction at least. 

“My boyfriend’s family was nice enough to invite me along,” you added, wanting at the very least to establish that it hadn’t been your idea. 

“Holy shit, that is nice of them.”

“I know,” you agreed. 

“Well, while you’re here you should definitely check out the Pillbox hike. It’s a little brutal if you aren’t used to hiking uphill but the views are totally worth it.”

“I’ll be sure to mention it to him! We have a free day tomorrow so maybe we’ll do that, thank you.”

You would not be going on the hike. You hated hiking and heights but you would still mention it to Jisung in case the boys wanted to go. 

She smiled but then something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she was standing up to leave. 

“Sorry, I promised my boyfriend that I would get some shots of him today and he’ll be pissed if I miss these waves.”

She threw you a wave over her shoulder as she jogged off. You waved back, calling out that it was nice to meet her. You never got her name. 

You only managed to get through a couple of pages of your book before another person approached your chairs. This time, it was Jisung. He had come up to check on you. 

“Make a new friend?” he asked as he shook water out of his hair like a dog. 

“Oh yeah, did you see that girl talking to me?”

“Thought she might be trying to put the moves on you.”

“Oh my god, how many times do I have to tell you I’m not Bella Swan? Not everyone who talks to me is into me.”

“She was your type, though.”

“You say that about all girls.”

“Because that’s your type.”

You rolled your eyes at your best friend. “Either way, she wasn’t interested. She has a boyfriend. She was just asking me if I had a partner out there too.” 

“That doesn’t mean she didn’t think you were cute,” he pointed out.

“You’re so annoying,” you groaned. “I don’t need a wingman anymore.”

He made a face. “That’s right, you’re fucking my brother,” he said, sounding disgusted. You couldn’t blame him. 

“Do you have to announce that to the entire beach? I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, remember?”

Jisung shrugged and plopped himself down on the chair next to yours. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to get it out of his eyes. Because it was wet, it had taken on a mind of its own. You had witnessed Jisung try to tame his hair after a shower on several occasions. It usually ended with him just waiting for it to dry so that he could style it and then making you late to wherever you were supposed to be going. 

“Are you going to go back out there?” you asked. 

“Probably. Wanna join?”

“Very funny.”

“I was being serious.”

“Oh. Well, no thanks.”

“I figured but I just wanted to make sure.”

“You’re sweet.”

-

The boys surfed for a couple of hours before coming in to eat the musubis and snacks you bought earlier. Their parents returned around the same time and you all ate together. 

Afterward, Jisung offered to wade around in the shallow water at the edge of the beach with you.

“You have to get in,” he insisted. “It’ll cool you down.”

“Okay,” you agreed.

You didn’t need any more convincing. You had wanted to get in anyway.    

“Lix, Minho, do you want to come with us?” Jisung asked. 

They looked at each other and shrugged. “Sure.”

The four of you wove through the sea of beach chairs down to the shore where the remnants of bigger waves lapped at the sand. The water was crystal clear, apart from the frothy white foam atop the waves. It fizzled against the hot sand when the waves crashed against the beach, lingering still even when the water subsided. 

There were several groups of people in the ocean as well but it was less crowded than the beach. Families with small children were gathered right by the shore, the parents mingling with each other as the kids played with wet sand and beach toys. You wished you could remember what it was like to be that young. To meet a stranger and be best friends in the blink of an eye. 

There were less and less people the further out from the shore you got. Fathers teaching older kids how to boogie board, teenagers jumping in the waves as they gossiped with each other. 

You weren’t sure how long you spent in the water but before long, Nikki and Dom were waving from the beach to get your attention. 

“They’re either saying it’s time to go, or they’re ditching us,” Jisung said, squinting and making a ‘what?’ gesture with his shoulders. 

“It’s really a fifty-fifty shot,” Felix added. 

“I think they want us to come in,” Minho guessed.

Minho was proven right mere seconds later when Dom beckoned you to join them. 

-

The latter half of the day was spent walking around the city. Being the center of tourism on the island meant Waikiki had a lot of shopping. You had never seen so many high-end stores in one place before. You did some window shopping while the Hans did some shopping shopping. Practically everything in every single shop was out of your price range. You weren’t expecting otherwise but seeing the numbers on the backs of the price tags still hurt your heart. 

You could tell a few of the sales associates recognized Minho from the way their eyes would get big when they saw him. They’d lean over and whisper to each other behind his back. Even though he couldn’t hear them you knew he knew it was happening. It made you feel kind of bad for him. Kind of. 

You ate dinner at some restaurant attached to the lobby of a hotel. It was on the water, which was nice, but it was just as crowded as the beach had been. The poor servers were so swamped that it took over an hour to get your food. No one minded, of course, but by the time Minho laid his credit card on top of the bill it was dark outside. 

“Do you remember where we parked?” Minho asked you as you 

“Yeah, but I don’t know how to get there from where we are right now.”

“So you don’t remember where we parked.”

“No, I remember where we parked. But we’ve walked around so much that I don’t know how to get there.”

Minho shook his head at you. “You should always pay attention to where you’re going. It can be dangerous if you don’t know where you are.”

“Why should I? That’s what I have you guys for.”

“What if we weren’t here?”

“There’s a parked car option on my GPS.”

“What if your phone was dead?”

“What is wrong with you?”

“I just want you to be safe!”

You didn’t want to hear any more. “Jisung, your brother is being an asshole!”

Your best friend, who had been walking alongside Felix, jogged up to meet you when you called for him. 

“What’d he do?” 

“I was just trying to-”

“I didn’t ask you,” Jisung cut in, glaring at Minho. 

“He’s giving me a hard time because I don’t know how to get back to the car from here,” you explained. 

“We can just use the GPS app,” Jisung said. 

You turned to Minho with a smug grin. “See?”

“I can’t believe you told on me,” he muttered under his breath. 

“Get used to it,” you hummed. 

-

The last day on Oahu was a free day. You told Jisung about the pillbox hike that the girl from the beach had suggested and he woke up early to do it with Felix and Minho. He came back raving about it and showed you a bunch of pictures that made you feel a little sick to your stomach because of how high it looked. 

“Thank god I didn’t go with you guys,” you sighed. “I’d be freaking out even if I stayed at the bottom, just thinking about you up there. There aren’t any handrails or guards to keep you from falling-”

“We were fine,” he assured you. “I didn’t even show you the pictures of us on top of the box.”

“You climbed it?”

“I mean, we’d already climbed the mountain. What’s a little concrete box? Everyone else was doing it.”

You held a hand to your heart like a scandalized middle-aged woman. “I don’t think I want to know anything else.”

Jisung took one look at you and laughed. “That’s probably for the best.”

You did some pre-packing at the hotel before joining his brothers to do some exploring. Like Jisung, they had showered after their hiking expedition. All three of them were sporting still-wet hair that was dripping onto their shirts like kids sitting in church service after their baptism. 

You walked around the resort first, checking out all of the pools and hot tubs for later that night. Jisung told his parents that he’d cook for the family and he’d dragged Felix and Minho with him to get groceries earlier. Apparently, Minho said he would help grill while Jisung made some of the side dishes upstairs. You were interested to see how that would turn out. You didn’t have to wait long to find out. 

You walked by the lagoons next, slipping into the resorts along the shore to scope them out. You were surprised to see that some of them were nicer than the one you were staying at. You assumed the Hans had chosen whatever the best money could buy was but maybe they were a more financially conscious family than you’d thought. 

“This is the Disney hotel,” Minho whispered in your ear as you passed one of the pools. “It’s crazy expensive to stay here for just a night. Like a standard room is over six hundred dollars.”

“Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately. I mean, we probably could have gotten a discount but someone would have to pull a lot of strings and then a handful of people would know exactly where I’m going to be and when and we would have had to hire security... it was just easier to book somewhere else.”

“Isn’t it kind of dangerous to be walking around here in the open then?”

Minho shrugged. “I like to live life on the edge.”

You snorted. “Clearly.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ji showed me the pictures from your hike earlier.”

His eyes widened. “He did?”

“Uh huh.”

“Shit.”

“You know, I could point out how hypocritical it is to lecture me about safety one day and then do shit like that the next, but I won’t.” 

“You’re the one that told us about the hike!”

You ignored him. “Does your agent know you were climbing mountains this morning?”

He narrowed his eyes at you and leaned closer to your face. “No, and she never will.”

“You seem pretty sure of that...”

“You don’t have her number,” Minho said like he was trying to reassure himself rather than call your bluff. 

“Not yet, I don’t.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

He gulped. “Why do I get the feeling that we’re not talking about my agent anymore?”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

[mrs-weasley-reid]

Speed of Light

bau!team x bau!reader

Summary: speed is one of the BAU team's special skills. Traveling from one state to another, one address to the next, catching unsubs in the blink of an eye. So when one of the members was put in danger, bau!reader didn't hesitate to prove that she belonged in the team.

Warnings: cursing

A/N: a short, silly draft I wrote a year ago :)

— ★ — ★— ★★★

"We'll be there," Spencer flipped his phone, turning to you and Derek with a horrified look.

Derek raised his brows, "What is it?"

Spencer gulped, "The unsub is Mary, and JJ's with her." He couldn't hide the worry in his voice.

You felt the same sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You had to get there fast, or JJ would be in serious danger. None of you wanted that.

Derek was about to jump on the driver's seat when you stole the keys from his hand. "What are you doing? This is not the time to play games."

"I'll drive, hop in." You stated and claimed the seat, buckling yourself up.

Spencer said your name in panic, "We don't have time for this. We need to hurry!" He argued, all while hopping on the backseat.

You rolled your eyes. Men. You sighed in your head, starting the engine. It was ironic enough how they continued to complain yet still glued their asses on the leather seat of the SUV.

"Then buckle up and shut up. Derek, either you strap yourself on your seat or get out of the car. The clock is ticking." Your voice vibrated authority, which was rare, much less nonexistent in their vocabulary of your personality.

Derek didn't say anything but still reluctantly sat on the shotgun seat. He gave you the address, and as soon as his seatbelt clicked, you slammed the gas pedal.

Their bodies automatically hit the back of their seats. The speed of the black SUV you're in seemed impossible to reach. Its engine growled loudly.

You loved car racing, finding yourself on race tracks every time you had a chance. You loved the high, the thrill of speeding down the asphalt burning at the touch of your tires.

On the contrary, you never drove during cases, letting Derek or Emily or Dave or Hotch or JJ, basically everyone—Spencer was no exception—get a hold of the wheel. They never questioned it, more so, assumed that you were a horrible driver. And maybe your driving skills at the moment would only prove their assumption, but you paid no mind.

Spencer and Derek watched in fear as you earned angry honks from the poor patrons. You had the badge and gun to reason in case any of the civilians had the guts to block you.

You had one mission: get yourselves to JJ's aid, fast.

"W-watch, watch out!" Derek stammered in fear for his life. He had never experienced such speed before, feeling his skin stretched off to the back of his head.

Spencer fell silently dead in the backseat. His skin was pale, lips sealed from utter anxiety. He could feel his stomach dance into knots, mocking him. He gripped his seatbelt tightly, turning his knuckles white. He could've sworn his ass was holding onto his seat.

In a matter of seven minutes, which was supposed to be a normal thirty-minute drive, you parked the car with a screech.

You got out of the vehicle, fishing your gun from your holster. You made your way into position, unbothered by the 150 mph drive.

"What happened to you guys?" Emily hushed at the two gentlemen behind you.

Derek's eyes were watery, and Spencer's hair looked like he just emerged from a tornado.

"Our lives flashing before our eyes," Spencer exclaimed in horror. "You wouldn't know how it feels." He was staring into the distance as if he was watching some kind of horror film on the air.

"Sure," Emily shrugged, "Not like I faked my own death and had a funeral or anything."

Hotch was approaching when Derek and Spencer tiptoed away from Emily. "Did something happen?" He interrogates.

Emily only stared at the two with a weird look, "That's what I want to know too." And your small stature came into her sight, "I think she broke them... somehow."

Derek may have acted cool about the entire thing, but his stomach constantly shrunk, making him gag every three seconds. "I'm never going to complain about your driving," He whispered to Spencer as they settled themselves in position.

Spencer nodded and gulped the vomit he was holding in his throat, prompting Derek to do the same. "Yeah, yeah, me too."

And that day remained a mystery to the entire team... plus you were officially banned from driving.

[carsthatnevermadeitetc]

A.L.F.A. 40/60 HP Aerodinamica, 1914, by Castagna. Maybe the world's first concept car was designed by Marco Ricotti of Carrozzeria Castagna based on a 1913 Alfa 40-60 h.p. chassis. It was powered by a 6082cc 4 cylinder engine that produced 70hp at 2200 rpm. Thanks to the aluminium droplet bodywork it could reach a 150 kph (93 mph) top speed. The bodywork was patterned after a dirigible, the engine was accessed through square doors located just behind the front wheels.

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

This Day In History, April 23, 1996 Zora Arkus-Duntov, Belgian-American automotive engineer, known as "the Father of the Corvette", dies at 86

Zora Arkus-Duntov (December 25, 1909 – April 21, 1996) was a Belgian-born American engineer whose work on the Chevrolet Corvette earned him the nickname "Father of the Corvette." He is sometimes erroneously referred to as the inventor of the Corvette; that title belongs to Harley Earl. He was also a professional racing driver, appearing at the 24 Hours of Le Mans four times and taking class wins in 1954 and 1955.

Arkus-Duntov joined General Motors in 1953 after seeing the Motorama Corvette on display in New York City. He found the car visually superb, but was disappointed with what was underneath. He wrote Chevrolet chief engineer Ed Cole that it would be a pleasure to work on such a beautiful car; he also included a technical paper which proposed an analytical method of determining a car's top speed. Chevrolet was so impressed, engineer Maurice Olley invited him to come to Detroit. On May 1, 1953, Arkus-Duntov started at Chevrolet as an assistant staff engineer.

Shortly after going to work for Chevrolet, Arkus-Duntov set the tone for what he was about to accomplish in a memo to his bosses. The document, "Thoughts Pertaining to Youth, Hot Rodders and Chevrolet", laid out Duntov's views on overcoming Ford's lead in use by customizers and racers, and how to increase both the acceptance and the likelihood of success of the Chevrolet V8 in this market. In 1957 Arkus-Duntov became Director of High Performance Vehicles at Chevrolet. After helping to introduce the small-block V8 engine to the Corvette in 1955, providing the car with much-needed power, he set about showcasing the engine by ascending Pike's Peak in 1956 in a pre-production car (a 1956 Bel Air 4-door hardtop), setting a stock car record. He took a Corvette to Daytona Beach the same year and hit a record-setting 150 mph (240 km/h) over the flying mile.[citation needed] He also developed the famous Duntov high-lift camshaft and helped bring fuel injection to the Corvette in 1957. He is credited with introducing the first mass-produced American car with four-wheel disc brakes.

A conflict arose between Duntov and Chevrolet chief designer Bill Mitchell over the design of the new C2 Corvette "Sting Ray" model. Mitchell designed the car with a long hood and a raised windsplit that ran the length of the roof and continued down the back on a pillar that bisected the rear window into right and left halves. Duntov felt that the elongated hood interfered with the driver's view of the road ahead, and the rear pillar obscured the driver's view rearwards. The split rear window was widely criticized, and a one-piece backlite was put in its place the next year.

[chappelroans]

super graphic ultra modern girl isn’t allowed in my car because i WILL go 150 mph on the highway if i hear it

[bethanythebogwitch]

We're going to take it slow this Wet Beast Wednesday and talk about Somniosus microcephalus, the Greenland shark. Its one of the sleeper sharks, a family named for their very slow movement and generally low-activity lifestyles. Greenland sharks follow the rule that slow and steady wins the race. With a top speed of 2.6 km/h (1.6 mph), the Greenland shark has the slowest speed of its size of all fish. They also have a slow metabolism which correlates with a very long lifespan. The lifespan of these sharks isn't known for sure, but given that they grow at a rate of about 1 cm per year and can reach around 6 meters in length, they can live a pretty long time. Normal methods of aging sharks don't work on the GS. Sharks are usually aged by counting growth rings on fin rays or vertebrae, but Greenland sharks don't have fin spines and their vertebrae are too sift to form growth rings. In 2016, a paper titled "Eye Lens Radiocarbon Reveals Centuries of Longevity in the Greenland Shark (Somniosus microcephalus)" by Nielsen et al. was published that described a new aging method in which crystals in the eye lens could be radiocarbon dated to provide and age estimate. The oldest shark they tested was aged at 392 ± 120 years old. If the lifespan falls on the upper end of that range, it could give the GS a maximum age of 500 to 600 years old. The same paper also estimated that they don't reach sexual maturity until around 150 years old. The GS is officially listed as the longest-lived of all vertebrates.

It looks like somebody tried to draw a shark from memory (image: a Greenland shark swimming under ice)

The extreme age and slow lifestyle of the sharks is linked to their habitat. Despite the name, they are not only found around Greenland. In fact, they live in very cold waters (0.6 - 12 degrees C or 31 - 54 degrees F) in the north Atlantic and Arctic Oceans. They are the only shark species to live in arctic waters all year round. It is likely that they have a much larger habitat range than we know as they spend most of their time in very deep water. One specimen was found as far south as the Caribbean. It's possible that the north Atlantic and Arctic Oceans are the only places in their range that are cold enough for them to tolerate surface conditions and in the rest of their range they stay in deep, cold water. Being an ectothermic (cold-blooded) animal living in very cold conditions requires a very slow metabolism and slow metabolisms are linked to longer lifespans. A slow metabolism also requires less energy, which is very advantageous for seep-sea animals, who may be forced to go for months or longer between meals. The size of the shark may also be linked to its habitat. At up to 7 meters (23 feet) long and 1,400 kg (3090 lbs), the GS is one of the largest fish in the world. This size could be an example of deep-sea gigantism, a phenomenon in which deep-sea animals grow much larger than their shallow-water relatives. There are many proposed explanations for deep sea gigantism, including cold temperatures inducing growth (Bergmann's rule), improved foraging ability, defense against predators, and greater dissolved oxygen availability in colder and deeper waters. Because of their abyssal habitats, Greenland sharks are rarely observed in the wild and we know little about their natural behavior.

(Image: a scuba diver swimming next to a Greenland shark)

What does a large carnivore living in food-scarce deep water eat? Just about everything. Greenland sharks are generalists who will eat almost any meat. They are both scavengers and active predators, with a diet consisting primarily of squid as juveniles and fish as adults. Most of what we know about their diet comes from the stomach contents of dead specimens as they have very rarely been observed feeding in the wild. Seals also make up a large portion of their diet. As it's very unlikely that such a slow shark could chase down and catch a seal for lunch, the shark likely targets sleeping seals. Greenland sharks are scavengers who likely get a lot of nutrition from carrion. They have very sensitive noses that they use to track down rotting meat. Stomach contents have revealed meat from various animals, including polar bears, moose, and reindeer. They are known to follow fishing boats to snatch up any scraps. Greenland sharks are apex predators who play an important role in the Arctic ecosystem.

(Image: a Greenland shark captured by a fishing boat)

As mentioned above, Greenland sharks are estimated to reach sexual maturity at around 150 years old. They are ovoviviparous, meaning that the eggs hatch while still in the mother, who then gives live birth. A typical litter has around 10 pups (likely the maximum given the metabolic requirements of reproduction) that are about 38-42 cm (15-16.5 in) long. Due to their lifespan, it is estimated that a single female could produce between 200 and 700 pups during her life. Unconfirmed reports have been made of them hybridizing with other sleeper sharks.

(Image: a 100-year old juvenile shark that washed up on a beach in England)

Greenland sharks are often found infested by the parasitic copepod Ommatokoita elongata. This parasite attaches itself to the cornea of the eye and infests both the Greenland shark and the Pacific sleeper shark and dangles out of the eye like a thread. The presence of the copepod damages the eye, leaving the shark almost if not entirely blind. This doesn't actually seem to hurt the shark that much as they rely mostly on smell and hearing. One hypothesis stated that the copepod may bioluminesce to attract prey to the shark, but this remains unconfirmed.

(Image: a close-up of a Greenland shark eye infested with a copepod)

Now to address the elephant seal in the room: Greenland sharks stink. All elasmobranchs have concentrations of the compounds urea and trimethylamine N-oxide (TMAO) in their bodies, but the GS has a higher concentration of these compounds than other species. The compounds are waste products retained by elasmobranchs to aid in buoyancy and the GS has more because they also help resist the pressure of the deep ocean. The concentration of urea is high enough that you can smell it if the shark is near you. Urea is a key component of urine. Greenland sharks smell like piss. The high levels of TMAO makes Greenland shark meat toxic to humans. Despite this, people still eat the meat, but it must be treated first. This can be done by boiling the meat multiple times or by fermenting it. A national dish of Iceland, kæstur hákarl, consists of Greenland shark meat that has been buried underground in gravelly sand and pressed with stones, then left to ferment for 6-12 weeks. It is then dug up and cut into strips, which are hung up and left to dry for several months. Apparently first time eaters are known to gag because of how much ammonia is in the meat. I don't think I'll try any.

(Image: hákarl hung up to dry)

Because of their deep-sea habitat, Greenland sharks have relatively few interactions with humans. In the past, They were hunted for their liver oil, but in modern days, there is no fishery for them. Greenland sharks are classified as vulnerable by the IUCN. Their primary threat is bycatch and they are likely being affected by ocean warming and loss of sea ice in the Arctic. Because of their slow maturity and low fecundity, Greenland sharks are particularly vulnerable to population loss. There are no recorded attacks on humans. The species features in the legends of the Inuit. The legendary first Greenland shark was named Skalugsuak and one story says it was born after a woman washed her hair with urine (a lice remedy) and dried it with a cloth. The cloth then blew into the ocean and turned into Skalugsuak, who still smells like urine. Another legend says that the shark lives in the urine pot of Sedna, the sea goddess, explaining its smell.

(image: scientists tagging and releasing a small Greenland shark)

[darksilvania]

Kroelian BONSLY & SUDOWOODO (Rock/Fire)

They are based on the Sandbox Tree, also known as the Dynamite Tree, a poisonous tropical tree covered in large spines whose fruit explodes when ripe, shooting its seeds with a speed of 150 mph

[mongeese]

We all know Jenny rode a Kawasaki but in Jenny III John says "fastest in production as of 1985" which very quick googling tells you that Jenny specifically rode a Kawasaki GPZ900R aka Ninja 900 which was the fastest motorcycle produced in its time, the first one to exceed 150 mph according to Wikipedia. If anyone was curious. Don't think too hard about the thematic implications of Jenny buying the fastest motorcycle she possibly could in order to ride away from the closest thing she had to a home and the only people/person she loved