#2019 tech picks

[awkwardplant]

my laptop doesn't meet the requirements for disco elysium :( i feel like i need a desktop to be able to play any open world game

[reasonsforhope]

"The man who has called climate change a “hoax” also can be expected to wreak havoc on federal agencies central to understanding, and combating, climate change. But plenty of climate action would be very difficult for a second Trump administration to unravel, and the 47th president won’t be able to stop the inevitable economy-wide shift from fossil fuels to renewables. 

“This is bad for the climate, full stop,” said Gernot Wagner, a climate economist at the Columbia Business School. “That said, this will be yet another wall that never gets built. Fundamental market forces are at play.”

A core irony of climate change is that markets incentivized the wide-scale burning of fossil fuels beginning in the Industrial Revolution, creating the mess humanity is mired in, and now those markets are driving a renewables revolution that will help fix it. Coal, oil, and gas are commodities whose prices fluctuate. As natural resources that humans pull from the ground, there’s really no improving on them — engineers can’t engineer new versions of coal. 

By contrast, solar panels, wind turbines, and appliances like induction stoves only get better — more efficient and cheaper — with time. Energy experts believe solar power, the price of which fell 90 percent between 2010 and 2020, will continue to proliferate across the landscape. (Last year, the United States added three times as much solar capacity as natural gas.) Heat pumps now outsell gas furnaces in the U.S., due in part to government incentives. Last year, Maine announced it had reached its goal of installing 100,000 heat pumps two years ahead of schedule, in part thanks to state rebates. So if the Trump administration cut off the funding for heat pumps that the IRA provides, states could pick up the slack. 

Local utilities are also finding novel ways to use heat pumps. Over in Massachusetts, for example, the utility Eversource Energy is experimenting with “networked geothermal,” in which the homes within a given neighborhood tap into water pumped from underground. Heat pumps use that water to heat or cool a space, which is vastly more efficient than burning natural gas. Eversource and two dozen other utilities, representing about half of the country’s natural gas customers, have formed a coalition to deploy more networked geothermal systems.

Beyond being more efficient, green tech is simply cheaper to adopt. Consider Texas, which long ago divorced its electrical grid from the national grid so it could skirt federal regulation. The Lone Star State is the nation’s biggest oil and gas producer, but it gets 40 percent of its total energy from carbon-free sources. “Texas has the most solar and wind of any state, not because Republicans in Texas love renewables, but because it’s the cheapest form of electricity there,” said Zeke Hausfather, a research scientist at Berkeley Earth, a climate research nonprofit. The next top three states for producing wind power — Iowa, Oklahoma, and Kansas — are red, too.

State regulators are also pressuring utilities to slash emissions, further driving the adoption of wind and solar power. As part of California’s goal of decarbonizing its power by 2045, the state increased battery storage by 757 percent between 2019 and 2023. Even electric cars and electric school buses can provide backup power for the grid. That allows utilities to load up on bountiful solar energy during the day, then drain those batteries at night — essential for weaning off fossil fuel power plants. Trump could slap tariffs on imported solar panels and thereby increase their price, but that would likely boost domestic manufacturing of those panels, helping the fledgling photovoltaic manufacturing industry in red states like Georgia and Texas.

The irony of Biden’s signature climate bill is states that overwhelmingly support Trump are some of the largest recipients of its funding. That means tampering with the IRA could land a Trump administration in political peril even with Republican control of the Senate, if not Congress. In addition to providing incentives to households (last year alone, 3.4 million American families claimed more than $8 billion in tax credits for home energy improvements), the legislation has so far resulted in $150 billion of new investment in the green economy since it was passed in 2022, boosting the manufacturing of technologies like batteries and solar panels. According to Atlas Public Policy, a research group, that could eventually create 160,000 jobs. “Something like 66 percent of all of the spending in the IRA has gone to red states,” Hausfather said. “There certainly is a contingency in the Republican party now that’s going to support keeping some of those subsidies around.”

Before Biden’s climate legislation passed, much more progress was happening at a state and local level. New York, for instance, set a goal to reduce its greenhouse gas emissions from 1990 levels by 40 percent by 2030, and 85 percent by 2050. Colorado, too, is aiming to slash emissions by at least 90 percent by 2050. The automaker Stellantis has signed an agreement with the state of California promising to meet the state’s zero-emissions vehicle mandate even if a judicial or federal action overturns it. It then sells those same cars in other states. 

“State governments are going to be the clearest counterbalance to the direction that Donald Trump will take the country on environmental policy,” said Thad Kousser, co-director of the Yankelovich Center for Social Science Research at the University of California, San Diego. “California and the states that ally with it are going to try to adhere to tighter standards if the Trump administration lowers national standards.”

[Note: One of the obscure but great things about how emissions regulations/markets work in the US is that automakers generally all follow California's emissions standards, and those standards are substantially higher than federal standards. Source]

Last week, 62 percent of Washington state voters soundly rejected a ballot initiative seeking to repeal a landmark law that raised funds to fight climate change. “Donald Trump’s going to learn something that our opponents in our initiative battle learned: Once people have a benefit, you can’t take it away,” Washington Governor Jay Inslee said in a press call Friday. “He is going to lose in his efforts to repeal the Inflation Reduction Act, because governors, mayors of both parties, are going to say, ‘This belongs to me, and you’re not going to get your grubby hands on it.’”

Even without federal funding, states regularly embark on their own large-scale projects to adapt to climate change. California voters, for instance, just overwhelmingly approved a $10 billion bond to fund water, climate, and wildfire prevention projects. “That will be an example,” said Saharnaz Mirzazad, executive director of the U.S. branch of ICLEI-Local Governments for Sustainability. “You can use that on a state level or local level to have [more of] these types of bonds. You can help build some infrastructure that is more resilient.”

Urban areas, too, have been major drivers of climate action: In 2021, 130 U.S. cities signed a U.N.-backed pledge to accelerate their decarbonization. “Having an unsupportive federal government, to say the least, will be not helpful,” said David Miller, managing director at the Centre for Urban Climate Policy and Economy at C40, a global network of mayors fighting climate change. “It doesn’t mean at all that climate action will stop. It won’t, and we’ve already seen that twice in recent U.S. history, when Republican administrations pulled out of international agreements. Cities step to the fore.”

And not in isolation, because mayors talk: Cities share information about how to write legislation, such as laws that reduce carbon emissions in buildings and ensure that new developments are connected to public transportation. They transform their food systems to grow more crops locally, providing jobs and reducing emissions associated with shipping produce from afar. “If anything,” Miller said, “having to push against an administration, like that we imagine is coming, will redouble the efforts to push at the local level.” 

Federal funding — like how the U.S. Forest Service has been handing out $1.5 billion for planting trees in urban areas, made possible by the IRA — might dry up for many local projects, but city governments, community groups, and philanthropies will still be there. “You picture a web, and we’re taking scissors or a machete or something, and chopping one part of that web out,” said Elizabeth Sawin, the director of the Multisolving Institute, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit that promotes climate solutions. “There’s this resilience of having all these layers of partners.”

All told, climate progress has been unfolding on so many fronts for so many years — often without enough support from the federal government — that it will persist regardless of who occupies the White House. “This too shall pass, and hopefully we will be in a more favorable policy environment in four years,” Hausfather said. “In the meantime, we’ll have to keep trying to make clean energy cheap and hope that it wins on its merits.”"

-via Grist, November 11, 2024. A timely reminder.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Are the means of computation even seizable?

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me in PITTSBURGH in TOMORROW (May 15) at WHITE WHALE BOOKS, and in PDX on Jun 20 at BARNES AND NOBLE with BUNNIE HUANG. More tour dates (London, Manchester) here.

Something's very different in tech. Once upon a time, every bad choice by tech companies – taking away features, locking out mods or plugins, nerfing the API – was countered, nearly instantaneously, by someone writing a program that overrode that choice.

Bad clients would be muscled aside by third-party clients. Locked bootloaders would be hacked and replaced. Code that confirmed you were using OEM parts, consumables or adapters would be found and nuked from orbit. Weak APIs would be replaced with muscular, unofficial APIs built out of unstoppable scrapers running on headless machines in some data-center. Every time some tech company erected a 10-foot enshittifying fence, someone would show up with an 11-foot disenshittifying ladder.

Those 11-foot ladders represented the power of interoperability, the inescapable bounty of the Turing-complete, universal von Neumann machine, which, by definition, is capable of running every valid program. Specifically, they represented the power of adversarial interoperability – when someone modifies a technology against its manufacturer's wishes. Adversarial interoperability is the origin story of today's tech giants, from Microsoft to Apple to Google:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

But adversarial interop has been in steady decline for the past quarter-century. These big companies moved fast and broke things, but no one is returning the favor. If you ask the companies what changed, they'll just smirk and say that they're better at security than the incumbents they disrupted. The reason no one's hacked up a third-party iOS App Store is that Apple's security team is just so fucking 1337 that no one can break their shit.

I think this is nonsense. I think that what's really going on is that we've made it possible for companies to design their technologies in such a way that any attempt at adversarial interop is illegal.

"Anticircumvention" laws like Section 1201 of the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act make bypassing any kind of digital lock (AKA "Digital Rights Management" or "DRM") very illegal. Under DMCA, just talking about how to remove a digital lock can land you in prison for 5 years. I tell the story of this law's passage in "Understood: Who Broke the Internet," my new podcast series for the CBC:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/05/08/who-broke-the-internet/#bruce-lehman

For a quarter century, tech companies have aggressively lobbied and litigated to expand the scope of anticircumvention laws. At the same time, companies have come up with a million ways to wrap their products in digital locks that are a crime to break.

Digital locks let Chamberlain, a garage-door opener monopolist block all third-party garage-door apps. Then, Chamberlain stuck ads in its app, so you have to watch an ad to open your garage-door:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

Digital locks let John Deere block third-party repair of its tractors:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

And they let Apple block third-party repair of iPhones:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/22/apples-cement-overshoes/

These companies built 11-foot ladders to get over their competitors' 10-foot walls, and then they kicked the ladder away. Once they were secure atop their walls, they committed enshittifying sins their fallen adversaries could only dream of.

I've been campaigning to abolish anticircumvention laws for the past quarter-century, and I've noticed a curious pattern. Whenever these companies stand to lose their legal protections, they freak out and spend vast fortunes to keep those protections intact. That's weird, because it strongly implies that their locks don't work. A lock that works works, whether or not it's illegal to break that lock. The reason Signal encryption works is that it's working encryption. The legal status of breaking Signal's encryption has nothing to do with whether it works. If Signal's encryption was full of technical flaws but it was illegal to point those flaws out, you'd be crazy to trust Signal.

Signal does get involved in legal fights, of course, but the fights it gets into are ones that require Signal to introduce defects in its encryption – not fights over whether it is legal to disclose flaws in Signal or exploit them:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/05/theyre-still-trying-to-ban-cryptography/

But tech companies that rely on digital locks manifestly act like their locks don't work and they know it. When the tech and content giants bullied the W3C into building DRM into 2 billion users' browsers, they categorically rejected any proposal to limit their ability to destroy the lives of people who broke that DRM, even if it was only to add accessibility or privacy to video:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2017/09/open-letter-w3c-director-ceo-team-and-membership

The thing is, if the lock works, you don't need the legal right to destroy the lives of people who find its flaws, because it works.

Do digital locks work? Can they work? I think the answer to both questions is a resounding no. The design theory of a digital lock is that I can provide you with an encrypted file that your computer has the keys to. Your computer will access those keys to decrypt or sign a file, but only under the circumstances that I have specified. Like, you can install an app when it comes from my app store, but not when it comes from a third party. Or you can play back a video in one kind of browser window, but not in another one. For this to work, your computer has to hide a cryptographic key from you, inside a device you own and control. As I pointed out more than a decade ago, this is a fool's errand:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/01/10/lockdown-the-coming-war-on-general-purpose-computing/

After all, you or I might not have the knowledge and resources to uncover the keys' hiding place, but someone does. Maybe that someone is a person looking to go into business selling your customers the disenshittifying plugin that unfucks the thing you deliberately broke. Maybe it's a hacker-tinkerer, pursuing an intellectual challenge. Maybe it's a bored grad student with a free weekend, an electron-tunneling microscope, and a seminar full of undergrads looking for a project.

The point is that hiding secrets in devices that belong to your adversaries is very bad security practice. No matter how good a bank safe is, the bank keeps it in its vault – not in the bank-robber's basement workshop.

For a hiding-secrets-in-your-adversaries'-device plan to work, the manufacturer has to make zero mistakes. The adversary – a competitor, a tinkerer, a grad student – only has to find one mistake and exploit it. This is a bedrock of security theory: attackers have an inescapable advantage.

So I think that DRM doesn't work. I think DRM is a legal construct, not a technical one. I think DRM is a kind of magic Saran Wrap that manufacturers can wrap around their products, and, in so doing, make it a literal jailable offense to use those products in otherwise legal ways that their shareholders don't like. As Jay Freeman put it, using DRM creates a new law called "Felony Contempt of Business Model." It's a law that has never been passed by any legislature, but is nevertheless enforceable.

In the 25 years I've been fighting anticircumvention laws, I've spoken to many government officials from all over the world about the opportunity that repealing their anticircumvention laws represents. After all, Apple makes $100b/year by gouging app makers for 30 cents on ever dollar. Allow your domestic tech sector to sell the tools to jailbreak iPhones and install third party app stores, and you can convert Apple's $100b/year to a $100m/year business for one of your own companies, and the other $999,900,000,000 will be returned to the world's iPhone owners as a consumer surplus.

But every time I pitched this, I got the same answer: "The US Trade Representative forced us to pass this law, and threatened us with tariffs if we didn't pass it." Happy Liberation Day, people – every country in the world is now liberated from the only reason to keep this stupid-ass law on their books:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/15/beauty-eh/#its-the-only-war-the-yankees-lost-except-for-vietnam-and-also-the-alamo-and-the-bay-of-ham

In light of the Trump tariffs, I've been making the global rounds again, making the case for an anticircumvention repeal:

https://www.ft.com/content/b882f3a7-f8c9-4247-9662-3494eb37c30b

One of the questions I've been getting repeatedly from policy wonks, activists and officials is, "Is it even possible to jailbreak modern devices?" They want to know if companies like Apple, Tesla, Google, Microsoft, and John Deere have created unbreakable digital locks. Obviously, this is an important question, because if these locks are impregnable, then getting rid of the law won't deliver the promised benefits.

It's true that there aren't as many jailbreaks as we used to see. When a big project like Nextcloud – which is staffed up with extremely accomplished and skilled engineers – gets screwed over by Google's app store, they issue a press-release, not a patch:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/05/nextcloud-accuses-google-of-big-tech-gatekeeping-over-android-app-permissions/

Perhaps that's because the tech staff at Nextcloud are no match for Google, not even with the attacker's advantage on their side.

But I don't think so. Here's why: we do still get jailbreaks and mods, but these almost exclusively come from anonymous tinkerers and hobbyists:

https://consumerrights.wiki/Mazda_DMCA_takedown_of_Open_Source_Home_Assistant_App

Or from pissed off teenagers:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/9/29/23378541/the-og-app-instagram-clone-pulled-from-app-store

These hacks are incredibly ambitious! How ambitious? How about a class break for every version of iOS as well as an unpatchable hardware attack on 8 years' worth of Apple bootloaders?

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/25/mafia-logic/#sosumi

Now, maybe it's the case at all the world's best hackers are posting free code under pseudonyms. Maybe all the code wizards working for venture backed tech companies that stand to make millions through clever reverse engineering are just not as mad skilled as teenagers who want an ad-free Insta and that's why they've never replicated the feat.

Or maybe it's because teenagers and anonymous hackers are just about the only people willing to risk a $500,000 fine and 5-year prison sentence. In other words, maybe the thing that protects DRM is law, not code. After all, when Polish security researchers revealed the existence of secret digital locks that the train manufacturer Newag used to rip off train operators for millions of euros, Newag dragged them into court:

https://fsfe.org/news/2025/news-20250407-01.en.html

Tech companies are the most self-mythologizing industry on the planet, beating out even the pharma sector in boasting about their prowess and good corporate citizenship. They swear that they've made a functional digital lock…but they sure act like the only thing those locks do is let them sue people who reveal their workings.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/05/14/pregnable/#checkm8

[fullhalalalchemist]

🚨🚨CONGRESS SECRETLY TRYING TO SNEAK IN EARN IT ACT COPYCAT INTO MUST PASS SPENDING BILL (PLEASE READ EXTREMELY IMPORTANT)

July 20, 2023 Congress is right now determining what is included in a must pass spending bill the NDAA. Often congress will sneakily add as amendments their bills that they can't pass in a normal setting.

If you remember, I made a previous post about EARN IT being reintroduced here.

The EARN IT Act and it's copycats are bipartisan bills that will greatly censor if not completely eliminate encryption and anything sexual and LGBTQ+ from the internet, globally. Anything the far-right doesn't like will be completely gone. The best way to stop them is to use https://www.badinternetbills.com/ to call your senators.

Following it's initial introduction earlier this year was massive opposition from human rights, LGBT, tech, political groups, and grassroots groups. Bc of this, the senators decided to remake the bill but give it a new name, so they can still pass Earn It without actually passing Earn It. Those bills are the Stop CSAM Act (yes really, they actually named it that), and the Cooper-Davis act.

The entire point of these bills is to mass surveil and censor everyone and I don't know why more people or senators speak out against it. There is a direct timeline from when the Attorney General Barr (under Trump) said he wanted to do this to it's initial introduction in 2019, and how the senators explicitly knew they couldn't actually say that so they lied and said it was about "stopping CSAM" or "stopping drugs" for Cooper-Davis Act.

These bills essentially do the following:

they gut encryption, the one thing actually protects you from having your data seen by anyone. Do you want republicans to know you're trans? that someone had an abortion? that they spoke out against the govt? to see your private photos you have uploaded to the cloud? to see what porn you watch? if youre a journalist, or an abuse survivor, any hacker or abuser can see your stuff and track you.

they gut parts of Section 230, the one thing that allows anyone to post online and birthed social media. Previous gutting into 230 gave us the tumblr nsfw ban and killed that site.

they create an unelected commission with some already established govt body (DOJ, FTC, etc) that will include law enforcement and people from NCOSE or other Christian conservative groups who will decide what is and isn't lawful to say. no citizen can vote who's on this commission, and the president gets to pick. it's like the supreme court, but for the internet.

lead to mass censorship and surveillance because of the above

We have until the end of the month to stop this, but this can be added literally any moment until then. It's literally code red. If this is added it goes into effect immediately. The BEST way to stop this is to drive calls and emails to the senate. https://www.badinternetbills.com/ connects you directly to your members of congress & gives you a call script.

It is ESSENTIAL to call the Senate leaders who can stop this. Here's a more precise call script you can use: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1huD5Ldd1lPTECYTEb9Gg2ZzrqW6Y9tryHT-MdjOl8kY/edit

All these people expressed concern over Earn It, so we need to press them hard to not allow it's copycats Cooper-Davis or Stop CSAM into the NDAA. This is URGENT and needs all hands on deck. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) (202) 224-6542 Maria Cantwell (D-WA) (202) 224-3441 Jon Ossof (D-GA) (202)-224-3521 Alex Padilla (D-CA) (202) 224-3553 Cory Booker (D-NJ) (202) 224-3224 Mike Lee (R-UT) (202) 224-5444

Please please please spread this message and blow up their phones.

TLDR; The Senate is trying to quietly push the Earn It Act's copycat bills into the must pass NDAA, which will lead to mass censorship and surveillance online by gutting Section 230 which is the entire reason you can even be on tumblr and why the internet exists, killing encryption which put everyone's lives in danger, and appointing far-right people to a supreme court-esque commission that the president has direct control over. They could be added in ANY DAY and we need to push hard to stop it before it gets to that point. CALL YOUR SENATORS **NOW** BY USING https://www.badinternetbills.com/ AND CALL THE SENATE LEADERSHIP AND SPREAD THE WORD!!!!

[cityof2morrow]

Q4MAT: Quake 4 Build 007 - Door Pack

Published: 8-15-2024 | Updated: N/A SUMMARY “Industrial-strength designs for 2morrow’s hi-tech facilities, manufactured with real, semi-synthetic materials…” Check out #co2quake for more futurist designs from Quake games, refreshed and expanded with details from CuriousB (2010) and others. As a companion collection to previous #co2quake sets, here are 400+ (!!!!!) colorful/grungy recolors for various doors and 40+ recolors for the 2-tile panels from my EZ Panel Kit (Simmons, 2024). The set also includes edited versions of the one-way “Valuewood Justa Door” (Doc Holladay, 2007; 2006) and deco-only versions of the 4t2 “Not So Inconspicuous” sliding door (EA/Maxis; converted by Jacky93sims, 2024). Pick and choose what you want below – Happy Simming! DETAILS Requires all EPs/SPs. §12-330 | Build > Doors/Columns and Buy > Deco > Wall Hangings All packages with “MESH” in their filename are REQUIRED for textures to show properly. Depending on what door recolors you choose, you may need additional meshes (see below for more details). Some door textures are only 256x256 – ideal for performance but may look distorted if you zoom in really close. Other CC recolors can be found under these tags - #co2recolors, #ts2recolors, #ts2repo #co2repo #co2repopack. NEW ITEMS 2 Another Not So Inconspicuous Doors (“vault door”) (Deco) (530-768 poly) Doc Holloway’s One-Way Justa Door (~400 poly) DOWNLOAD (choose one) ** swatch previews are included in each download

Valuewood Justa Door recolors from SFS | from MEGA Basegame-compatible; custom doors repo’d to this one will share recolors. **see the compatibility note below One-Way Valuewood Justadoor EDIT from SFS | from MEGA **delete the original one-way “Doc Justadoor” file (Doc Holladay, 2007; 2006) Myne Door recolors from SFS | from MEGA You need the University EP.

Unique Separator DOOR recolors from SFS | from MEGA Unique Separator MAT recolors from SFS | from MEGA You need Apartment Life EP for both of these.

Industrial Door recolors from SFS | from MEGA You need the Industrial Door MASTER Mesh by Cyclonesue (2008)

Sim Trek Sliding Door recolors from SFS | from MEGA You need the mesh files by Leefish (2011) **Some recolors are grungy w holes; If you place the doors on adjacent tiles, the frames will overlap (see pic)

2-Tile EZ Panel recolors from SFS | from MEGA You need the 2-tile “…-imgMESH” from the EZ Panel Kit (Simmons, 2024).

4t2 Not So Inconspicuous deco/recolors from SFS | from MEGA 4t2 Inviting Swing Out Door recolors from SFS | from MEGA You need the original meshes converted by Jacky93sims (2024). *the new deco doors are found under columns; minor flickering on the interior

4t2 Community Canvas/DIY Garage recolors from SFS | from MEGA You need the meshes by Moocha Muses HERE (2018) and HERE (2019) Extra add-Ons are available HERE (Simmons, 2024) **the “top” TXTR is actually the BACK of the Community Canvas Garage Door

COMPATIBILITY **NOTE: The Value Pocket Sliding Door (TheNinthWave, 2022) is repo’d to the “Valuewood Justadoor” door BUT with adjusted mapping (see below). This only messes up the “fancy” recolors – but don’t delete them because they will be gone from the other doors as well! All other textures show up fine on the custom pocket door.

CREDITS Thanks: Sims2/Simming communities and a special shout out to all the original creators/modders mentioned above. Sources: Any Color You Like (CuriousB, 2010), EA/Maxis, Glitch Inside (Maknastudio, 2022), Hacked Font (Libeau, 2022), Quake 4 (Activision, 2005), Quake 4 Textures (Klevestav, 2013; 2010), Other TXTRs (Simmons, 2022-2024; Freepik, 2022; Ilexandro, 2018; CuriousB, 2012; Evillaire, 2008; Pixelhate, 2009; 2008).

[mariacallous]

In early April of this year, after more than a decade of litigation and a $90-million settlement, Mark Zuckerberg sent me forty bucks on Venmo.

To be clear, it wasn’t Zuck personally. That $40.67 was my cut of the payout from a class action lawsuit: the “Facebook Internet Tracking Litigation” case (not to be confused with the “Facebook, Inc. Consumer Privacy User Profile Litigation,” payment pending). Since January, I’ve secured other payouts of $21.65, $20.04 (twice), $14.81 and $12.60 as a result of class action settlements, and there are almost certainly more to come.

If you spend enough time on the internet, odds are that you too have stumbled into the class action expanded universe. You’re not alone: According to a recent defense attorney interest group report, there was $42 billion in class action settlements reached last year, “the third highest value we have tallied in the last two decades, trailing only the settlement numbers from 2023 ($51.4 billion) and 2022 ($66 billion).” Given the proliferation of corporate monopolies, legal cases brought against tech companies will naturally include more and more claimants and bigger and bigger settlements. Ads marketing these lawsuits are popping up on social media and, while most people ignore them, there are Facebook groups, lawyers, and hunters like myself, all dedicated to chasing down these payouts.

On top of that, a change in federal rules in 2018 laid the groundwork to make email the most common class-action notice delivery method—so it’s entirely possible that right now, hiding in a spam folder, there’s an unread message declaring that you’re already part of one. Open the email, enter your class member code, maybe provide some receipts (unless it’s a “no-proof” settlement), and pick your delivery method; they have Venmo, Zelle, prepaid cards, paper checks, direct deposit, etc. After a couple of years, boom! Instant money.

But while applying to get some of that money has never been more convenient, the vast majority of eligible claimants will never see a dime: A 2019 study by the Federal Trade Commission put the claims rate for class actions at an outrageously low 4 percent by weighted mean.

Take cases about data breaches or privacy violations. There were more than 250 million users in the class of those affected by the 2018 Cambridge Analytica scandal—essentially, everyone in the US with a Facebook account. Out of the eligible class size of 250 million, only 17 million valid claims were filed. There’s the spate of recent “social media addiction” cases looking for more class members by (ironically enough) advertising on Instagram, plus the semi-recent class action that chastised the once-mighty Juul for targeting teens, and the very, very recent Lopez v. Apple Inc. settlement, which could give folks $20 per Siri-enabled device if you sign up by July 2.

Many people ignore these messages—assuming they’re a scam, or thinking the payout isn’t worth the hassle. But other people, like April Phelps, are filing claims with gusto.

“I check daily,” says Phelps, a Memphis-based health care worker who estimates she’s received almost $8,000 since 2023 by keeping up with the various postcards, emails, and online advertisements that work to bring eligible claimants into a class action. “Out of a seven-day week, no more than about two and a half hours—probably 30 minutes or so a day—just to scroll through and see if there's been any updates or any new settlements that impact me. I'll check my junk mail too, just to make sure.”

I found Phelps on a 30,000-plus-member Facebook group set up by Top Class Actions, a news site that tracks and offers updates on various ongoing class actions. People in the TCA Settlements & Payouts group help confused first-timers navigate eligibility, answer questions about when settlement payments might come in and post updates about case results. These kinds of sites are what I recommend to people who ask, because since 2021, I’ve become “class action guy,” reminding family members to file claims, check their spam folders, and get that money.

Technically, I was party to my first class action all the way back in 2016, with litigation related to the Aliso Canyon gas leak, which WIRED reported as the “worst climate disaster in US history” at the time. That process was mainly via email and on the phone, and the payout took seven years to show up—but in the meantime, I kept searching for “settlement” in my email.

In 2021, that led me to Mansour v. Bumble Trading Inc., a settlement in California based on claims that Bumble was discriminating against male users by only letting women message first. I signed up, waited for my payout, and after that was Rivera et al. v. Google LLC (Google photos storing face data without consent), plus Sosa v. Onfido (biometric privacy violation), California v. Vitol (manipulated gas prices), even Milan v. Clif Bar & Co. (misleading labels on Clif Bars), and my beloved Facebook Internet Tracking Litigation.

It’s not that I have a personal vendetta against these companies. I still eat the Clif Bars. But by gosh, the law says I’m owed some money, these companies probably did do something wrong (even if they don’t admit it), and frankly, the payout feels a bit like winning in a legal system designed for people to lose. Why wouldn’t I take it?

That’s close to the story I was told by Phelps, as well. She says she’s been on the lookout for class actions since 2021, when she found out she was party to litigation against Blue Cross Blue Shield via a notice hidden in her junk mail.

“More people need to start paying attention, because if you miss a deadline, in some cases, for a $10,000 cheque, you’re going to be upset,” she says. “I wish I was getting $10,000, but some people are eligible to receive that, and they don't take it seriously because they don't do their research.”

Phelps says that the most helpful avenue for staying informed has been the smattering of groups on Facebook, where people answer questions, offer advice, and upload pictures of payouts: Venmo, Zelle, prepaid cards, and paper checks. Phelps says the group helped her evangelize a couple of friends and her mom into class action consciousness.

“It's not like these are poor defenseless companies, right? They committed an error,” she says. “If more people pay attention, honestly, I feel like these manufacturers or these businesses will stop being so quick to offer things to us without doing their research.”

Despite how helpful these groups have been for some people, they’re still a poor substitute for an official government portal, says Amanda M. Rose, a professor of law at Vanderbilt University.

“There’s been a lot of enthusiasm for technology solving these problems, although we see … that it hasn’t necessarily borne itself out,” she says.

Rose adds that a federally run website and support system (ClassAction.gov, say) could help increase claim rates, cut down on confusion, and create a database for researchers looking to make policy suggestions on public oversight of class actions. Without that infrastructure, the void is filled by third-parties (like the absurdly named “ClaimClam,” called out by the DC attorney general last year), who can use AI to identify potential class members in lawsuits and settlements, get them to submit claims via their platform and then take a cut of their settlements. ClaimClam also charged consumers “15%, and in some cases 40%,” of their claim, while also misleading them to think that settlements were guaranteed, and hiding that the law firm they were recommending was also co-owned by the same founder, according to a settlement between the company and the office of the DC attorney general. Even the top aggregator sites, like ClassAction.org or the aforementioned TopClassActions.com, are private companies that can earn referral fees from law firms for offering info on the class actions.

The lack of a federal database also makes it difficult to track down claimants who have changed addresses, determine if the legalese has been effectively translated into plain English, or figure out if the notices are getting past the spam filter—and all of these problems are exacerbated by a glaring lack of data on record. Are the claims settlement administrators who are charged with finding eligible class members doing a thorough job? According to Rose, solving these issues has always been a problem, but no one in particular is keeping track.

“You can't even have an intelligent public policy debate about these matters without having better insight into them,” says Rose.

That argument touches on one of the core pillars in American jurisprudence supporting class actions—as a type of public service in the form of a deterrent.

“At least in our legal culture, we have decided that we should make it possible for people with small value claims to bring them all together,” says Deborah Hensler, professor of dispute resolution at Stanford Law School.

“Perhaps a large number of people have claims, but the claims are worth fairly small amounts of money. Maybe they lost $25 each? A corporation could make a lot of money by collecting lots and lots of $25,” she says. “But individually, going to court for $25? Forget it.” Thus, class actions.

According to Hensler, class actions in one form or another have been part of US law for centuries. A dispute in 1820 over the estate of a deceased general, West v. Randall, is widely considered the first, though Brown v. Board of Education, which ended legal segregation in 1954, is probably the most well-known example. She considers their prevalence to be a function of an American court system that has fewer barriers to entry than many others, including much lower court filing fees, the option for lawyers to advertise, and legal representation on contingency (which is widely regulated or outright disallowed in many other countries).

“When you have a system that is so law-oriented, and you have a lot of lawyers and you have a way for people to find lawyers, even if they don't have very much money, then you have a way for lawyers to make money by taking people's cases,” Hensler says. “Then when some issue arises—like Facebook privacy—there are some lawyers who say ‘That’s interesting, maybe I could bring a class action.’”

Because the legal precedent is so complex, Hensler says there are many laws on the books allowing class actions to be brought for everything from the aforementioned privacy violations to the spate of recent class actions with wide political implications, like J.G.G. v. Trump, where a judge ordered deportation flights of Venezuelan men to be turned back, an order the Trump administration ignored.

“The current cases are on behalf of people who are claiming they have been improperly, illegally treated by the Trump Administration,” Hensler says. “They're trying to get the courts to say ‘Stop doing this,’ not just for one person, but for all the people like them.”

Aside from their use in recent immigration cases, class actions as legal tools are actually in a bit of a hard place. The Class Action Fairness Act, signed into law by the Bush administration in 2005, made it easier for defendants to shift their cases to federal court from the state level, a move that ultimately made class actions harder to certify, slower to resolve, and more expensive to pursue.

Instead, plaintiffs’ lawyers have shifted toward mass torts, mass-claim litigation, and multidistrict litigation—approaches that involve coordinating large numbers of individual claims, rather than trying to certify a single class. In the pre-internet era, coalescing that many claimants would be Sisyphean; in 2025, it’s almost smooth sailing.

“The underlying issue is that modern society produces mass injuries, mass complaints, mass everything,” Hensler says. “We've done a pretty good job in this country of trying to come up with procedures for dealing with this ‘mass claim’ phenomenon—a better job than virtually every other country in the world—but we haven't figured it out yet.”

Something that shouldn’t be hard to figure out is that regardless of the particular legal avenue, the class or mass action notifications are just going to keep coming—so people like Phelps and I will keep scanning social media and checking our spam folders. Maybe in a couple more years, I’ll get a notification about another forty bucks. And until then, I’ll keep scrolling, filing, and quietly cashing in, because if corporations can profit off our data, habits, and mistakes, the least we can do is get paid back when they screw up.

It’s not justice, exactly—just the version we’re left with in a system where accountability is slow, flawed, and monetized. But until something better comes along, I’m not leaving free money on the table. You shouldn’t either.

[thefirstknife]

So this week, huh. Some stuff and things.

The beginning is nice for a sort of official summary about what we're dealing with:

Paired with the lore tab from last week, now I think we know exactly what's going on in regards with the issue of understanding how the Conductor came to be. It's also interesting how they're not directly telling us which Maya turned into the Conductor, which is as we suspected before. We just don't know which one it is, maybe even a combination of multiple Mayas. And they're going with Maya maybe not knowing either.

I love Saint. He's so excited.

More under:

The exotic mission is largely the same, but there are some extras: new areas and new chests with a bit of new dialogue. I'll get to that in a moment. I want to mention something I didn't bring up last week, but the Subjugator and the Tormentor bosses are pledged to Yirix. This week, Ikora expands:

Yirix is a Psion and leads the Conclave, a section of Psions that does all sort of stuff. She's responsible for the attempt on Zavala's life back in Chosen when they used Light-suppressing tech to temporarily disable Targe. She also had her hand in the Presage shenanigans and then later Vox Obscura mission on Mars where we fought her Psions and Caiatl listened to the various futures she's seen, all of which have come true. It's interesting that she's leading some section of the Shadow Legion. I am hoping for this Psion stuff to be some sort of hint about stuff in the future. We might eventually have to deal with them.

And then! The lines from grabbing the new chest for this week:

Once again, back with the simulated Ishtar scientists! And once again, I am begging everyone to read Aspect. We've heard from .59 Chioma last week, that's the one from the final part of this page, a Chioma that has lost Maya.

You'd found a simulation with a city where you discovered a jewelry store, picked out a necklace, brought it home to her, and wished her a happy pseudo anniversary. Maya didn't like bracelets, said they always fouled her work. Her hair had been getting shaggy again and was due for a trim. She could never decide whether or not to grow it out. She laughed at you lifting weights to maintain simulated muscle, but she spotted for you all the same. There are other Mayas out there, layers of them, all the way up to the original, wherever she is. You hope they're doing well. But that doesn't stop you from missing this Maya, missing whatever arguments and discoveries you'd have shared in the rest of the lifetime you'd promised to one another. Shim and Duane-McNiadh pull you up from beside Maya's marker. A basalt lily rests on top of it, petals thin enough to let light through. You go on.

The same page also mentions the .33 group:

227.33 You lose Duane-McNiadh.

We don't know .27 group from Aspect. Also interesting that one of the Chiomas isn't sharing her number. I wonder what's up with that. I'm also not sure what the final two sentences would be about. About them having "a place" and figuring things out together. The whole point of Aspect was that these groups were coordinating with Praedyth about escaping, so maybe they're talking about this plan they had with him?

Next thing in the line is Maya's recording of once again messing with Chioma and this one is so normal (lie).

OKAY? How about we all die. This also connects to one of the queries in Enigma Protocol. We speculated that these might be some personal stuff for Maya and Chioma that she's search for through the Vex Network and they are!

And then new lines from the new chest puzzle:

More stuff about the simulated scientists! Same as last week, .97 are also in Aspect. Eagerly waiting to see where they'll end with this. Literally have been waiting since 2019 to get answers about Aspect. Please. Answers please.

As we get through the mission, we get treated to some devastating Osiris and Saint lines. I really like that they have quite a bit of sympathy for what's happening to Maya and Chioma. Because they relate!

On the floor. But we're not done.

Stoppp ittt. Stopppp.

I like, again, that despite everything, he seems to sympathise. Or at least he understand it because he knows how he could've ended the same so Maya didn't do this because Maya is just like that; she did this because of the circumstances. If the circumstances were any different, Osiris could've done it too. This terrifies him. Anyone could be one step away from doing the same.

The radio message continues with the horrors, with another one of Maya's logs where she's insisting that her Chioma would understand what she's doing and that Maya is a "savior" and that everything that happened in the system since the Collapse needs to be fixed and that Maya can fix it. Osiris goes on a rant against this and realises that Maya is acting selfishly and that her obsession is destroying even her love for Chioma. But at the end, he says this:

Please. I hope we do. I want this to have at least a semblance of a happy ending for Maya and Chioma. Maybe not for the Conductor ofc, but for some Maya somewhere to get what she wanted; to be with her Chioma. Kinda similar how they went about with Saint and Osiris as well, to complete the parallel between the two couples.

And then ofc the lore tab.

One more week to go. Going to be blowing myself up in the meantime.

[sazorak]

Every Game I Played in 2024, Ranked

Another year, another ordered list of video games. I've decided to abandon the major distinctions on release year because who cares.

Continuing honorable mention: I played a fuckton of Dwarf Fortress this year, as in previous years. Dwarf Fortress: still rules.

2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

14. Final Fantasy IV Pixel Remaster - 1991 / 2021 - Steam - ★★★

Look: I get it, FFIV is an Important game as far as RPGs go. It has a lot of cute moments and characters and that classic Final Fantasy charm. But as someone whose Final Fantasy gameplay experiences start with 5 and end at 12: Boy, this game lacks a lot of gameplay depth huh.

It still has all the typical-yet-interesting Final Fantasy boss weakness gimmicks, but there's an odd lack of the "building" aspect of RPGs. Characters gain levels and stats, and you can gear them up... but there's no actual decision making. Any unique aspects of equipment ("hey this one resists XYZ element!") do not matter when the base stat growths will fundamentally always matter more. It doesn't even take advantage of its large "playable" cast as you can't actually choose who is in your party at any given time. It is a very linear, hand-holdy experience that honestly feels incomplete when looked at with 2024-eyes.

I did enjoy my time by-and-large with FFIV, but particular towards the end I was forcing myself to finish it mostly out of a sense of sunk cost. I don’t think it has aged especially well.

That said: the Pixel Remaster aspect of it is a fine port. I do wish these pixel remasters included the stuff from the Advanced versions though. The Advanced version of IV even bothered to let you pick your party at the end!

13. Warhammer 40K: Mechanicus - 2018 - Steam - ★★★

I'm not sure whether Mechanicus is too long or just fundamentally missing some additional mechanic that makes it last into the double-digit-hours.

It's an enjoyable enough tactical game, with some really neat mechanics built around a dynamic action economy, but once you upgrade your Tech Priests and solve that action economy, everything goes off the rails. The difficulty curve is quite lop-sided; the first few missions were quite intense, but while the game keeps introducing more advanced Necron units to combat you, it's just not enough to keep up with what you're capable of. By the end it's trivial to twerk on even the final boss in a single turn.

Soundtrack is excellent, and I'm still quite interested in Mechanicus 2 so hey.

11. Warhammer 40K: Space Marine 2 - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

The sequel to 2011's most surprisingly decent third-person shooter, Space Marine 2 is... largely ok! Ironically it's a bit buggy at times, and it's definitely better suited towards multiplayer than singleplayer as far as the campaign goes. Said campaign is... well, it's a Warhammer 40K campaign. You run around and shoot at bozos while yelling FOR THE EMPEROR a bunch. Last time had Titus fighting orks and general Chaos dipshits, now he's fighting Tyranids and *specialized* Chaos dipshits. Could use more enemy variety, perhaps with more... tactical relevance to the units? As-is you have a few must-kill annoying units but otherwise the combat can be pretty brainless.

It's not groundbreaking, but the Warhammer setting polish present here is pretty good. Servo skulls and cherubs galore. It's still funny that they *insist* on every one of these games starring an Ultramarine, when seldom do they bother playing into any of the stuff that makes Ultramarines interesting. If you're just running around shooting games and going GRRR, that could be literally anybody. Yeah, Ultramarines are the default these days, but you could just make a new Chapter with some interesting gimmick, or bring in one of the more thematically or mechanically unique chapters then. Honestly: Should have been Dark Angels.

12. Marvel vs Capcom Fighting Collection - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

it's mahvel baby

Good collection, I enjoy dicking around in here with friends. Doesn't bring anything particularly stunning to the table beyond the included products, and I'm not exactly planning on grinding so I can get Wazzler'd into oblivion. Them going out of their way to fix certain glitches but then patching the game to add a toggle to enable the Juggernaut glitch is very funny, I approve.

Pricing is a lil whack for what it is, but hey that's modern video games. Where's a new Capcom Versus game?

10. Crusader Kings III 2024 DLC - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

CK3's DLC for the year was "Legends of the Dead", "Roads to Power", and "Wandering Nobles."

Legends of the Dead added plague and legend mechanics. The plague stuff is good, though it's either devastating or easily defeatable with little in-between at the moment. There is some anachronistic aspects I wish they'd change (isolating one's self away from the plague is a modern idea that would be alien to the time), but I understand that it's hard to handle people trying to metagame the realism of isolation otherwise. The legend mechanics are straight up mediocre; the act of formally promulgating your legend and paying folks to share your legend is just odd, and said legend benefits mostly you in life rather than your descendants after your passing. It's also oddly different from the existing reputation mechanics while thematically overlapping a little to much. I get that information is itself basically a disease that spreads in similar ways mechanically (mgs2-memes.jpg) but I don't think they did a good job with it here.

Roads to Power revamped the Byzantine Empire to make it more historical and appropriately unusual, and also added mechanics for dethroned nobles to wander the world seeking fortune in various non-land-owning ways. This DLC absolutely whips, just so many cool mechanics to interact with. Is it still in need of polish and balancing? Yeah, Byzantium is perhaps too powerful if it doesn't get crusaded early, and landless nobility are often weirdly strong if played properly, but overall: cool. I've done multiple campaigns as a wandering noble, including one where I was a mercenary hired by a Byzantine duke to help them in their wars, got some land off of it, managed to take over their holdings, survived the fall of Byzantium to a crusade, lost it all in subsequent Byzantine civil war after the Empire was reformed, and then the family returned to mercenary work in Italy... which I managed to levy into getting a descendant to become King of Spain. Coooooooooool stuff.

Wandering Nobles is... weird? It specifically just adds some more events (always good) tied to travel, and added some new lifestyles tied into that. It's weird having lifestyles outside of the skill pentagram but hey, if Stellaris can get do it so can CK3.

My main hope for CK3 at this point is that they'll get a Custodian team like Stellaris that enables them to continue to polish and better integrate old content, since they seem to be doing a great job on Stellaris (which I've taken a break from this year.)

9. Warhammer 40K: Rogue Trader - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★

Yep, another Warhammer game. Been one of those years.

Rogue Trader could have been even higher up this list. There's a lot about this game that I really love. It's kind of the best example of the Warhammer setting in a video game, managing to capture the totality of how really shitty the setting. It gets across just how shitty life in the Imperium is, the casual cruelty of life. It gives you the option to try to be a Nice Guy, but also explicitly points out that this is not really looked upon well and can outright lead to your death depending on how things play out. The plot is kind of whatever, but it has some great set pieces and fun characters.

Gameplay-wise, it's a bit uneven in terms of difficulty- kind of easy in the back half even at the higher difficulties (like I said in the Mechanicus review: it turns out, knowing how to game an action economy helps a lot!) Some characters just are stupid busted throughout if you use them correctly (cough Cassia cough), and the way the RPG mechanics work you're almost never facing a non-100% skill check.

Owlcat isn't the biggest studio, and the game in general lacks a certain degree of polish that must to stem from their team-size and budget. The non-cutscenes where you essentially read a summary of what the cutscenes would have shown are... odd, if ultimately tolerable. But frankly, I'm still tempted to lower this in the overall ranking because the amount of weird gamebreaking bugs I encountered even playing it an entire year after initial release is absolutely infuriating. There's certain mechanics that have a tendency to just shit the bed, causing quests to just not trigger which can combine with points of no-return to lock you out of content. That kind of thing drives me absolutely nuts.

Also, because I want to complain about it and hey why not: the load times are maddening. Traveling between planets requires something around 5 different loads, more if you trigger one of the RNG events that require your intervention, and they're just too damn long. It adds unnecessary tedium to what is already a long game. And hey, guess what is the mechanic that tends to shit the bed? That's right: quest starts that trigger only when you travel between systems! Great!!!

It's only the core quality of the game as a 40K experience that keeps it where it is in-spite of all that. Congratulations?

8. Indiana Jones and the Great Circle - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

Man, I am in two minds on this game. MachineGames is a fantastic studio and I really enjoy the tone of their writing. This is probably the best Indiana Jones has been in... 30 years? But something about this as a game just isn't fully clicking. The big selling point is that you are getting the experience of being Indiana Jones, which... sure?

The gameplay is serviceable; the first-person brawling is okay, if pretty bland. Since a lot of the game revolves around that: okay, not great. The exploration stuff is cool, and the puzzles are... well, they're video game puzzles. This is no Return of the Obra Dinn. But the experience of doing the puzzles is fun!

Honestly, the best part of the game may just be as a looking-around-and-looking-at-stuff simulator. You put loving crafted artifacts and news paper articles and books around and I'm going to stop and look at them and go "huh, neat!" Spent a not insubstantial part of the second-part of the prologue just looking at random museum pieces while ominous spooky man chanted in Latin a room away.

I guess to the answer the question of "Does this feel like Indiana Jones?" my answer would be "Perhaps too much." It does a great job of capturing the feel of the movies, the setting, and the feel of Indiana Jones action, but it doesn't bring much of anything new to the table. The game is best when its more evocative of the brilliance of MachineGames' Wolfensteins, with its amazing side characters, goofy cutscene shenanigans, and amazing setting-specific set pieces. I wish it'd lean harder into that instead of the films.

Unrelated to that point: It's very funny that Indiana Jones ancillary media has consumed most of the "interesting" historical artifact / archeology tropes, such that this one had to juice the story with five different gimmicks layered on top of each other. Not going to spoil any of it, but we're starting to approach the territory of "Indiana Jones and the Biggest Foot" which frankly I'm here for.

Anyways: Raiders > Last Crusade > Temple > This > Dial > Skull

7. Dragon's Dogma 2 - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

Dragon's Dogma 2 is... more Dragon's Dogma? Honestly, this is my first time playing Dragon's Dogma myself rather than just watching others play it, and I enjoyed it a fair bit, but it is weird how little seems actually changed from the original?

It's a new world and a new engine, and certainly there's been changes to things like mechanics and quests and NPCs and adding new bosses etc... but so much of the game is the exact same, even retaining the old jank I've heard people complain about for a decade now. It's incredibly fun and even funny at times, but I think it could have used some more time in the oven, some more polish, maybe just more resources for the team to add to the experience. Also: could really do with a couple more enemy types. Things can get pretty repetitive after a point.

The decision to do essentially the same plot again when the "twist" of the original game was so well received is odd. The new elements they layered ontop of it to differentiate from the original only to make the core plot less interesting. The more I think about it, I think I'd prefer they have done something more unique in the vein of OG Dragon's Dogma rather than just completely carrying all the architectual details of the setting over to this release.

A shame that Dragon's Dogma 2 seems like it will never receive its own Dark Arisen.

6. Castlevania Dominus Collection - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

This collection bundles my favorite Castlevania games into a single package. Enuf said.

You should play Order of Ecclesia, it's a great game.

5. Satisfactory - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

I am very aware of my gaming habits: I'm a gorger. If I REALLY enjoy a thing, I shove it into my mouth until either it's gone, or I get sick of it and throw-up. This is why I avoid early access releases as a rule; I know I'll fill myself up on the appetizer and have no room for the meal. From afar, it was obvious that Satisfactory was something I was going to enjoy, and so I waited for the full release...

And hey yeah Satisfactory is an excellent addition to the "technology-tree time-hole" genre. Organizing infrastructure and automating a 3D factory layout that is constrained by geography and resource availability is awesome. There's some open-world exploration and mild combat aspects that are fine mostly as a way to add more technology-tree gating, but the focus really is on constantly tweaking or redesigning factory spaces to better use space and resources to produce widgets to advance progression or build *other* widgets that let you make other bigger things etc etc.

There was multiple times when hanging with friends on Discord where I made the offhand comment of "I should probably eat something..." several times over the course of an 8 hour period, as friends got increasingly exasperated at me time-holing myself ever deeper in factory optimization instead of making a sandwich or something. That's the kind of game Satisfactory is.

4. Balatro - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

Balatro is far better than it has any right to be. Why the hell is a run-based deck-building poker game so good? How does it manage to hold up after over 80 hours?

There's something Tetris-esque about how you engage with Balatro. It's a puzzle game that is zen-like it how it engrosses you. Failure is inevitable, you're just seeing how deep you can go with your luck and deck-building skill.

To voice a mild criticism: the nature of the RNG and the gameplay (cards) makes it hard to "outplay" certain bad rolls on Jokers, particularly early on. Truly good runs are very luck-dependent, and you often have to commit very early to a game plan (e.g., all-in on Flushes) before you know that you're going open the Jokers that make that game plan work. Nature of the beast, but it does lead to me leaning on the secret quick restart (hold R on keyboard) a bit too much as a result.

3. Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

Elden Ring was nearly my Game of the Year in 2022, and Shadow of the Erdtree is a fantastic addition to it. There's amazing new bosses, weapons, and areas. As a Lore Enjoyer, I appreciate the additions made to the overall narrative and setting of Elden Ring, and the music is pretty excellent, a criticism I had with the base game.

That said, it does suffers from similar flaws as well: exploration is kind of weak, with big empty areas dotted with little nuggets of content. There's some bosses that are real stinkers, with tons of health and tedious attack patterns. Frankly, they ramped up this aspect here; it feels like they took the wrong lessons from Malenia. Also, good lord do I hate the Furnace Golems, what an obnoxious enemy.

But the good bosses are some of the best From has ever done, and the little mini-dungeons are far more interesting than anything in the base game. Playing through the DLC was a real treat.

The fact that there's an Elden Ring multiplayer run-based spinoff coming next year is absolutely mental. While that's not necessarily what I'm usually looking for in FromSoft titles, I'm all-in at this point.

2. Caves of Qud - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

If you encounter a dreamcrungle in the depths of the Moon Stair, beware their crungling gaze. If you you are crungled, you’ll be subsumed into a dreamscape where you’ll awaken as some other entity, perhaps a bear, maybe even a robot. If you gain sufficient experience in your newfound form, you’ll awake pleasantly enlightened, the dreamcrungle sated. However, if your original body dies as you dream, your temporary oneiric will come to a final tragic end, your mind dissipating into nothingness. A tragic end, but that is itself all too common in salt-blasted land of Qud.

Caves of Qud is the ultimate roguelike, perhaps the ultimate RPG. It is alternatively weird, goofy, and funny. You will die in so many inexplicable ways. But the knowledge you gain from those deaths will make you ready for future adventures, with different characters and paths. My current adventurer is a mutant tinkerer with four arms, each wielding an axe. He’s specialized in the art of multi-weapon fighting, allowing him to use his many arms to slice foes to pieces in a blink of an eye. But I could also be a potent psychic that dominates people, a birdman gunslinger, a birdman swordman, a cyborg knight, and so many more things besides. I could use a spray-a-brain to give life to a chair, then transplant my mind into that chair as my original body dies, continuing my adventure as the chair.

There are thousands of ways to build your character and progress through the world. The dynamic worldgen and mechanics interact in ludicrous ways. Almost everything on Qud is sapient and a member of an overarching faction. Who you befriend— or kill— can have wide-ranging and sometimes absurd repercussions. For awhile there I was persona non-grata with turtles, which made traveling through desert canyons an interesting challenge. But I can always rest easy knowing I’m beloved by dogs, welcome in their holy places.

For all the “wacky” aspects of the generated world, the setting and non-generated writing of Caves of Qud itself is quite excellent. The nature of Qud, a place both seemingly post-apocalyptic and futuristic, is one I leave you to discover. Live and drink, friends.

Also, as a weird side note: I’ve been playing exclusively on controller and it works exceptionally well? That seems like it shouldn’t be the case given its general aesthetic, but here we are.

1. Robot Alchemic Drive - 2002 - PlayStation 2 - ★★★★★

OK, look: I realize how fucking bonkers it is that Robot Alchemic Drive, a game from 2002 you have either never heard of or never thought about for longer than five seconds is my 2024 game of the year. Here’s the thing: RAD fucking rules.

RAD is best described as super robot QWOP. You control a giant super robot using an unusual set of controls where each joystick is mapped to the mecha’s arms, and the motion of the stick controls how the punches are thrown. The shoulder buttons give you manual control of each of the robot’s feet, stepping forward and backwards. Additional buttons and inputs enable special attacks like missiles, rocket punches, diving super kicks, etc. It’s a really bizarre system that makes up for half of the game’s difficulty.

The other half is because you’re not piloting the super robot. You instead control an additional character in the world who is operating it from afar, like Tetsujin 28 or Giant Robo. This puts the player character in the middle of the danger, forcing you to position yourself so you can actually see what you’re fighting while also keeping yourself as best you can out of danger. Sometimes the building you’re standing on gets knocked down under you. Sometimes you accidentally blast an alien robot so that it falls on top of you. You can sit on your robot’s (a “Meganoid”) shoulder, giving you the best possibly vantage of the robot you’re trying to control, but that also puts you at risk of getting punched off it and sent flying for three blocks.

So you’re awkwardly controlling a giant robot to fight other giant robots while you can barely see and the city is getting blown up around you, often by your own arsenal as you attempt to defend it. This is a problem, as you need to try to minimize damage to the city to ensure you get money to upgrade your Meganoid. Being careless also puts Nanao’s current place of work at risk, and nobody wants that.

Oh Nanao. A not-insubstantial amount of the game revolves around your childhood friend, Nanao, who is in the depths of poverty and working like 5 jobs. Her grandma, home, and workplaces keep getting destroyed, which doesn't help. Nanao, while nice, is the dumbest child alive who must be protected at all costs. A non-substantial part of the game is built around trying to protect Nanao’s workplaces, “accidentally” destroying businesses that threaten her livelihood, etc. On the flip side, if you are for some ungodly reason anti-Nanao (???), if you destroy Nanao’s workplaces consistently throughout the entire game Nanao will take her own life. This is an insane mechanic, but given the easy emotional attachment to Nanao: it certainly raises the stakes!

RAD’s writing is deliberately cheesy as hell, and it’s paired with a dub that is absolutely spectacular in how corny it is. They hired a company that exclusively made corporate instructional videos, zero audio direction was given, and boy does it show. It is one of the funniest games I’ve ever played, the writing and the voice acting together are just so unbelievably stupid. God I love it.

It is crazy that people don’t know or talk about RAD. The developer, Sandlot, exclusively makes Earth Defense Force titles now, with RAD all but forgotten. Part of the reason, I have to imagine, is that it didn’t run great on actual PS2 hardware— but emulated it runs like an absolute dream.

Is it a perfect game? Absolutely not. But it is by far the game that made me smile the most this year. An absolutely unique gaming experience unlike any other.  Someone should port this to modern technology, put out PC or something, get it in front of more people because holy shit.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Worth the Risk

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

As I write this description, I am EXTREMELY tired. So forgive me if I skip the usual chat about the chapter writing process and go straight to the summary fhsdjakl After sneaking into the IRIS facility last chapter, the guys wait to see if the proof they found is able to drive IRIS out of Mirygale so they can return. Meanwhile, Distorter appears again with a vague statement: Return to Mirygale now, or else. The group debates what to do. Enjoy! :D

More of This AU | | First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Read on AO3 under CrystalNinjaPhoenix

———————

“I didn’t even know Internet cafes still existed,” Jackie said, leaning close to the computer monitor. “In the year 2019? Who even uses these places?”

“You’d be surprised,” Anti said, calmly scanning the website he’d pulled up. “Not everyone has reliable Internet or access to a computer or smartphone. Even in this day and age. Case in point: we’re here.”

“Well... we kinda have... special circumstances.” Jackie glanced around as he said that. The cafe was pretty empty around them, except for a couple teenagers gathered around one monitor and a couple scattered adults each with their own computer. The monitors are lined up on long tables, and the air is hot from all of the running CPUs, the scent of coffee at war with the smell of electronics. A cloudy afternoon sky lets in little light through the wide windows.

“Fair enough,” Anti muttered. He frowned, not satisfied with what he was seeing, and opened up another webpage in another tab.

“Whoa, how’d you just do that?!” Jackie gasped.

Anti couldn’t help but laugh a little. “If you click a link with the middle mouse button, it opens it in another tab in most computers.”

“Middle mouse button?”

“The scroll wheel. I’m surprised you don’t know any of this.” Anti grinned. “If you click the scroll wheel on a blank page, you can also get this smooth scrolling thing. Watch.” He did just that, moving the mouse up and down. The webpage scrolled in accordance with the movement.

“God, you’re a wizard,” Jackie mumbled.

Anti laughed louder. “I’m not. I just picked up a lot of stuff from experience.” The smile faded from his face as he actually read the webpage now. “Hm... no news about IRIS here, either.”

“I’m not surprised,” Jackie said. “It’s only been a day since we sent the footage.”

Yesterday, Anti and Jack had gone to the library to use their computers, spending the whole afternoon uploading the footage from the camera to a hard drive that the group had bought during the tech-buying spree a few days ago. From there, they sent the raw footage to various news sources. Just about as many as they could find before the library closed. They also printed out screenshots, copied photos, did just about everything they could to get backups, and this morning Jack and Stacy had gone to send packets of the physical copies to other news sources. They also sent both digital and physical copies to the Mirygale police, since Detective Kikelomo had said she’d start an investigation into IRIS.

This all might’ve been a bit overkill, but none of them wanted to take chances. They knew that some news places might think the whole thing was a big prank. But they needed someone to take them seriously. Otherwise, IRIS would still be a threat.

“Y’know... have you thought that... maybe this plan won’t work?” Jackie whispered, not wanting to say it out loud. “I mean, just because IRIS’s experiments might be exposed, it doesn’t guarantee they’ll forget about us.”

“...Yeah, I know,” Anti agreed, his voice just as quiet. “But the plan’s not to take them down forever. We just need to get them to leave us alone long enough for us to deal with Distorter. And like... these guys seem like the type to avoid taking risks. That detective lady is probably our best bet. If IRIS knows that a city is onto them, they’ll pull out, at least for a little bit.”

Jackie nodded. “I guess that’s all true.” He laughed a little. “Good thing Schneep ran into her, right?”

“Hrm.” Anti grumbled wordlessly.

“What?” Jackie looked at him, rolling his desk chair a bit closer to Anti’s. “What is it? You don’t like her?”

“No, it’s not just that.” Anti shook his head. “It’s just that... She happened to be in town? The town that’s at least an hour’s drive from where she lives? In the exact same shop that Volt and Jackson went to? At the exact moment the two of them went out? It’s a bit suspicious, isn’t it?”

Jackie blinked. “Well, look at it this way. Why would she plan to be there? What sort of nefarious scheme required her to run into Schneep and promise to investigate IRIS for him?”

“I dunno. Maybe IRIS hired her.”

“Well if they did, it’s a good thing we sent the recordings and photos to people besides Rachel,” Jackie pointed out. “Besides. I don’t think that’s IRIS’s style, anyway. They’re a lot more... direct.”

“...true,” Anti admitted. He opened another tab on the browser and typed in another address. “So... what if it was Distorter? We know he doesn’t have to be nearby to...” He trailed off. “Y-you know. To... do his thing.”

Jackie shuddered. “That’s true. But Schneep and JJ are very experienced in spotting the signs of Distorter’s control. It’s not exactly subtle. They would’ve realized she was different.”

“...yeah.” Anti nodded slowly. He was quiet for a minute, searching through the site he’d pulled up. Then he whispered, “Thanks.”

“Thanks?” Jackie repeated, confused.

“For, uh... keeping me grounded, I guess,” Anti mumbled. “I have... problems with that.”

Jackie was silent. Then he nodded. “No problem.”

They continued to read and search for a while, but after about an hour, they had to give up. It seemed like one day wasn’t enough time for news to arrive. It also didn’t help that they were being charged every thirty minutes for using the computer. The two of them paid for their time in cash, then headed out onto the street.

“The library didn’t charge me and Jack for using their stuff,” Anti muttered. “And we had to use their special computers with editing software and shit.”

“Well the whole point of the library is to offer things for no cost,” Jackie pointed out. “An Internet cafe is not the same. We could’ve just gone to the library again, you know.”

“No. They might’ve realized I was there two days in a row,” Anti said stubbornly. 

“I don’t think the library cares about how often people visit,” Jackie laughed. “In fact, I think they’d be delighted to see you there so often. That’s probably good for, uh... numbers, or whatever.”

Anti grumbled some more. “I just don’t want to stand out. I already look pretty distinct. Even though the streaks in my hair are really fading.”

“You’ll be fine,” Jackie said, nudging him. “But if you’re really so concerned, that cafe didn’t cost that much, really.”

Anti grunted noncommittally. 

They walked down the street until they reached the bus stop. It was a nice bus stop, actually. There was a little metal structure with a bench inside and plants on the roof—a good way to bring some green to the otherwise dull gray urban landscape. Jackie checked the schedule hanging on the inside of the stop. “Alright, if all goes well, the bus will be here in five minutes,” Jackie said. “Probably closer to six.”

“Cool.” Anti folded his arms and leaned against one of the metal support poles. He idly watched the few cars going down the street, eyes flicking back and forth.

Jackie sat down on the bench. “So... uh, how have things been?”

“I dunno.” Anti shrugged. “Same as you, really. How have things been with you?”

“Well... I’ve been worried about Marvin,” Jackie said. “The whole, you know... ‘time freeze having an effect on him’ thing...” He sighed. “He’s been acting weird since then, have you seen it?”

“Not really...” Anti started to say, then trailed off. “I mean... I guess a little. He’s been kinda quiet, maybe?”

Jackie nodded. “Yeah, that! He’s not really talking to anyone that much. Even JJ. I wonder what’s going on.”

“He’s probably having some existential shit,” Anti said. “That’s what always happens in time travel stories. Or to people with time manipulation powers. You start to wonder about the nature of stuff. And in Marvin’s case, do you think that if Volt and Jackson hadn’t been with him, he’d have just disappeared?”

Jackie shuddered. “I don’t want to think about that!”

Anti grinned. “When I was younger, I wasn’t much for reading, but there was this one series I remember very distinctly about time travel. One character could pause time, though as the story went on she began to lose control of the ability and could only stay in the normal flow of time by holding onto another character. She ended up defeating the villain by letting go of the second character, grabbing onto the bad guy, and disappearing into a void together. Then her molecules pulled apart and she disappeared from the timeline.”

“Jesus fucking hell!” Jackie blinked. “How old were you when you read that? Cause if you were a kid, that’s pretty dark and intense!”

“I thought it was cool.” Anti chuckled. “Besides, kids love that dark shit. But yeah... I wouldn’t let Will read that series until he was at least thirteen. Wish I could remember the name of the books, though.”

“I-I-I really hope that sort of thing wouldn’t happen to Marvin...” Jackie muttered.

Anti blinked. “Well, I’m sure... I’m sure it wasn’t like that. From what he told us when you all got back, I bet... I-I bet he would’ve just snapped out of the spell.” He hunched his shoulders. “...sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“No, it’s fine, really!” Jackie said hurriedly. “I just... it’s not what you said, it’s just me being all anxious and stuff.” He smiled at him hesitantly. “I’m sure Marvin would’ve been fine too. JJ seemed to think he would be... eventually.”

“Yeah. Jackson’s the magic expert, listen to him.” Anti nodded. He continued to watch the cars, his vision blurring a little as his eyes lost focus. “I don’t think we should use that spell again, though. Unless we really have to.”

“Oh yeah, no, definitely,” Jackie agreed. “I think Marvin’s been a bit scared off from experimenting with his cards for a while... which is actually... kind of sad, I think. I mean, he seems to really like those cards. I guess cause they’re a connection to his life before Distorter got involved. Though that’s just me guessing, of course. I-I mean, aren’t they also the reason he got transported to this time in the first place?”

Anti didn’t answer. Something was... off. He’d seen something on the other side of the road. But when he tried to focus on it, he couldn’t quite make it out. In fact... he couldn’t quite make anything out. It all felt so... distant all of a sudden.

This immediately put him on alert—but even that alert felt distant. “Jackie,” he said quietly. “Something’s wrong.”

“Huh?” Jackie looked over at Anti. His eyes widened and he gasped. “Anti! Your eyes are bleeding!”

Anti inhaled sharply, wanting to feel more distressed from that news than he actually was. He reached up and touched his face. A single drop of blood had fallen from one eye, tracing down his cheek. “He’s here.”

Jackie shot to his feet. “W-we have to get out of here!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys, I had a dream about him,” Anti said idly.

“What?! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“It, uh... felt private,” Anti said slowly.

Jackie threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “I’d be more mad if I didn’t know you and your habits. Come on!” He grabbed Anti by the arm and pulled him out of the bus stop. Anti stumbled, trying to run but having difficulty, his body feeling disconnected from his mind.

The thing on the other side of the street laughed. “Don’t worry... I’m not really here,” said a voice.

Jackie froze for a moment. Then stiffened and started to run down the street, pulling Anti behind him.

“Not even going to listen to me, are you?” Distorter made a tut-tut sound. It wasn’t clear where his voice was coming from. It was just... there. “That’s not fair, Jackie.”

“H-hey! Leave him fucking alone!” Anti shook his head, trying to push past the fog. He focused on the grip Jackie had on his arms, on the way the air passed through his nose and mouth. Things started to come a bit more into view. Focus! He wouldn’t let this bitch control him! “What are you even doing here?! Just fucking with us?!”

“I wanted to tell you something,” Distorter said.

“Don’t listen!” Jackie continued to pull Anti down the street, but Distorter’s voice remained around them.

“Maybe it’s better to say, I want to warn you,” Distorter continued. “I’m starting to miss you guys, you know? I think you should hurry back. Or else... something might happen.”

Anti stopped. Jackie tried to keep running, and yanked Anti’s arm painfully in the process. “Ow! Fuck!”

“Sorry!” Jackie stopped as well, glancing back at Anti apologetically. “But—what are you doing?! He can’t actually do anything, you know!”

Distorter laughed. “I can do a whole lot. Just because you guys are far away doesn’t mean I’m powerless. For every day you don’t come back, something will happen. I’ll be generous. You’ll get to have the rest of this day. Then, tomorrow morning, something will happen... and it will be all your fault.”

And then, abruptly, everything shifted. Anti blinked, finding himself once again aware and present in the world. He shook his head, then looked at Jackie. Jackie stared back with wide eyes. “He can’t... mean that, right?” Jackie whispered. “It has to be a bluff.”

Anti just stared back, a grim expression on his face. “We have to tell the others.”

———————

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell us about that dream?!” Jack, usually pretty calm, seemed kind of pissed by this news. Anti and Jackie had gathered everyone up in the apartment’s living room, telling them about Distorter’s sudden appearance—and Anti told them all about the dream he had with him. “I was literally right there! I checked on you! Opportune moment to say something!”

It does seem like something we should’ve known, JJ added tentatively.

“Look, we had more stuff to think about after that,” Anti said. “We had the whole IRIS time freeze shit to deal with. It kinda just slipped my mind. Besides,” He looked at Jack. “I wasn’t going to say anything in front of Will. I know he’s a strong kid, but he’s still a kid. It would freak him out to hear I had a dream where Distorter tried to claw my throat out.”

Jameson shuddered, his hand going up towards his own throat. Marvin, sitting on the sofa next to him, patted his shoulder comfortingly. 

“Well... yeah, that makes sense,” Jack mumbled. “Sorry. I just... that seems really important.”

“I can’t believe him hearing about me upset him so much,” Stacy said, looking off to the side thoughtfully. “Well... actually, I can believe it, since it sounded like you just kept pushing him. That wasn’t the smartest thing to do.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally,” Anti said. “Maybe some part of me wanted to get under his fucking nerves, even.”

“...probably not the best idea,” Jackie said, agreeing with Stacy.

“Look, can we focus on the most recent problem?” Anti asked. “The guy tried to threaten us. He basically said ‘come back to Mirygale or else.’”

“Or else what?” Rama asked. “Is he going to attack us?”

“If he is, it will not be physically,” Schneep muttered. “Even though he cannot be hurt by most things, we still outnumber him by a great deal. As long as we are all together, he cannot hurt our bodies. Our minds, however...”

“Do you think he’ll go for the kids again?” Jackie asked quietly, glancing down the hall towards the bedroom where Will and Michelle were. The adults had asked them to stay out of this conversation, saying it was ‘grown-up stuff.’ Will hadn’t really been happy about not being included, but he went with it. Michelle was just happy she could make him play with her while the adults talked.

“I... don’t know,” Anti admitted in the same quiet tone. “There’s always a chance. Or there’s a chance he’ll use his powers on us. Like... what happened with you, Jackie, that day at the park.”

Jackie shivered, and Rama walked over to his chair, putting their hands on his shoulders. “We won’t let that happen again,” they said.

What he’s planning to do doesn’t really matter, I think, JJ said. What matters is if we’ll cave to this demand to return back to Mirygale. We still don’t know if it’s safe there. IRIS might swoop in and grab us. In fact, for all we know, Distorter might WANT them to do that!

“That’s crazy,” Jackie said. “IRIS is very interested in Distorter, I don’t think he’d want to risk a run-in with a potential enemy.”

“Well... he definitely took advantage of me being locked in there,” Anti muttered.

“That is different, though,” Schneep said. “That is merely making the best of a bad situation... er, the best for him I mean. I agree with Jackie, I do not think Distorter would go out of his way to get IRIS involved.”

“Yeah!” Jackie nodded. “I don’t know what IRIS’s plans are for Distorter and the house on Aspen Street, but knowing what we know now, it can’t be good. At very best, they’ll hurt a lot of people by throwing them into the house’s weird pocket dimension. Distorter knows that and wouldn’t risk it.”

Do you think IRIS is powerful enough to contain him? Jameson asked.

“Yeah, what do you think, Jackie?” Stacy asked. “You, uh... have the biggest history with them.”

Jackie bit his lip, looking momentarily ashamed of his past decision. “...maybe. They’d struggle with it, and I can definitely see him escaping a few times and causing damage along the way, but he’s still just one guy, you know? IRIS has him beat on numbers alone. And... I think they’re trying to prepare for anomalies like him.” He glanced at Schneep.

Schneep folded his arms and glanced to the side. “That is true...”

“Maybe we could pit them against each other somehow.” Anti grinned.

JJ tilted his head. If IRIS caught Distorter, maybe they would leave the rest of us alone...

“I... don’t think they would,” Stacy said slowly. “I mean... you guys have magic and stuff. I don’t think they’d forget about that so easily.”

Jameson’s shoulders slumped. I know... I suppose it’s just wishful thinking. Again, Marvin patted his shoulder. He hadn’t said a word this whole time, but he’d always be there for his friend.

“We will keep that idea in mind if we need it, though,” Schneep said. “For now... what could Distorter possibly do to us if we do not return to Mirygale? Should we risk him finding some new way to hurt us?”

“Why does he even want you guys to go back there?” Jack asked. “He’s not... stuck there, is he?”

“Nah.” Anti shook his head. “He was able to go all the way to that IRIS place to break me out. I know he was physically there, I saw the weird claw marks he left behind. If he could go that far, he could reach here. It’s almost the same distance, just in the opposite direction.”

“Hm.” Jack frowned. Something moved in his hoodie pocket, and he looked down. “Sam?” Sam squirmed out, flying into the air nearby. “They say that they feel like if we don’t go back soon, something bad will happen. But also that something bad will happen when we do go back.”

“Wow, that’s very helpful,” Anti drawled.

Sam flew over to him, a streak of green light through the air, and smacked hard against his shoulder.

“Ow!” Anti rubbed the spot they hit. “God, it’s like being hit with a bigger-than-usual paintball. I get it, though. Sorry, Sam, I know you’re just trying to help.”

Sam bobbed up and down, and Jack laughed. “They said, damn right!”

Anti burst into laughter as well. “Who knew something so cute could swear?”

“They’re also flattered that you think they’re cute,” Jack reported as Sam flew back over to him, settling on his shoulder this time.

“Well, as unspecific as that is, it is good to know that both our options are bad,” Schneep muttered. “So now we must simply decide which is worse.”

Rama pursed their lips. “In my opinion, the worst thing we can do is bring the kids closer to danger. And I don’t think taking them back to the city where this thing lives is the best idea. A-at the same time, though... I know Michelle’s been missing her friends from school.”

“She wanted to start playing football this fall...” Jackie said quietly. “Hard to do that when we’re hiding from IRIS.”

But that brings up the point of IRIS again, Jameson said. Even if we return to Mirygale, we probably can’t go back to things as normal until we’re really sure that they’re gone. So... we’d still be in hiding for a while regardless. It’s just more risky to be hiding in Mirygale, closer to all their centers of operation.

Rama nodded slowly.

“Perhaps this is an empty threat?” Schneep wondered. “What can Distorter really do to us when we stick together? Historically, that has been the best way to defeat him. He cannot affect all of us at once—and he cannot affect me at all anymore.”

“I really doubt that it’s empty,” Anti said. “But... we agreed to take care of IRIS before we did anything with Distorter. Cause we’re not gonna be able to do fuck all if we’re hiding from them. We should stick to that idea.”

“Yeah... the last thing we want is to get caught again,” Jackie said slowly.

Stacy shrugged. “I’m good with whatever you guys want to do. Though I’m not really in any hurry to get close to him again, so... there’s that.”

So we’re all in agreement, then? JJ asked.

“U-uh...” Marvin coughed, clearing his throat a little. Everyone started in surprise and glanced at him. “M-maybe... I coul’... use my cards?” He offered hesitantly. “See... into the possible futures?”

Jackie blinked. “Do you... really want to do that?”

“If... it’s easiest,” Marvin said quietly. “We coul’... know what’s comin’.”

“Marvin, please do not force yourself to do something you are uncomfortable with,” Schneep said softly.

“I-I’m not—!” Marvin started to protest.

“It, uh, definitely seems like you are, sometimes,” Anti said. “You’ve been real fucking quiet lately. Something’s bothering you. Probably what happened at the IRIS place. Like, obviously we don’t know what’s going on in your head, but you’ve been acting different ever since then.”

Jack nodded. “This has all been a lot of pressure, you know? And what happened with your cards was... really scary. I-it’s okay if you’re feeling off. You don’t have to feel obligated to help.”

Marvin glanced back and forth between the two of them, then slumped back against the sofa. “Fuck you, McLoughlins,” he muttered.

Jameson grinned slightly. They’re right, though. We’ve all been worried about you.

Marvin sighed. “I’m... I’m jus’ t’inkin’ about a lot.” He twisted his hands in his lap. “T’is... is a lot of... power. I-I want to help. To... use it to help.”

“Thank you for that, Marvin,” Schneep said. “Truly. But you do not have to.”

“You can do whatever you want,” Jackie added. “But just... we want you to be comfortable. With yourself. And your cards. And just in general.”

“Mm-hm.” Marvin looked at his hands. “I... jus’ want to help.”

Jameson nudged him. Don’t force yourself to, though. That’ll just hurt you in the long run. Remember what you’ve told me about spreading myself too thin? Same idea here.

“I guess you’re right.” Marvin smiled hesitantly. “I... I-I guess I won’ use my cards. But... I wonder if we shoul’... go back to Mirygale. Jus’ in case.”

“...we’ll give it a couple days,” Anti said slowly. “See if something happens.”

The others all nodded. It might be a bit risky, but going back to the city felt even riskier. They would wait, and hope nothing bad happened in the meantime.

———————

Over the next three days, Anti kept returning to the library and the Internet cafe to repeatedly check for any news on IRIS, each time accompanied by one of the others. Jack again, then Jameson, then on the third day, Schneep. It was a bright, sunny morning when the two of them took the bus to the library together. “Hm... this place does not look much like a library on the outside,” Schneep said as they walked in.

“It’s the architecture, right?” Anti said. “You usually think of libraries as... classical, for some reason. Not modern and urban like this. It’s like someone attached metal pillars to a metal box and plopped it in a concrete square surrounded by artsy shit.”

Schneep chuckled. “That is exactly what it looks like. And I think people think of libraries as classical for two reasons. One, that sort of classic architecture is considered intellectual, probably because of the association of it with the Renaissance and the rise of ‘modern science’. Two, we are old, and that is what libraries looked like when we were little. Perhaps as more modern libraries are built, younger kids’ views of libraries will broaden.”

“Hm.” Anti shrugged. “I guess. I never really explored a lot of libraries growing up. The only one I really knew was the one attached to my secondary school. And then, when I was, like, a young adult, I had other shit going on.”

“Really?” Schneep tilted his head. “This... is probably the most I’ve ever heard you talk about yourself.”

“Hah... I’m trying to make an effort with you guys,” Anti said. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Of course not.” Schneep chuckled.

As the two of them talked, they walked into the library and took the elevator up to the second floor. There were computers on all stories of the library, but Anti had noted that the ones on this floor seemed a bit newer than the others. They walked past the round help desk (where Anti grabbed a temporary library card) and the shelves of books, reaching the three rows of computers on tables. Looked like no one else was here today, except for one woman going back and forth between a computer on the end of a row and the nearby printer, fussing over them both.

Anti sat at the far end of the bottom row, powering up the computer there. It asked for his library card number, and he entered in the one from the temporary card. “Hm... do they just hand out cards these days?” Schneep asked. “It has been so long since I went to the library.”

“No, these are just for internet access,” Anti said. “See how this is flimsy?” He waved the temporary card back and forth, showing how it flapped. “They mass-print them out, and each one only works for a day. Maybe a couple days. I don’t remember.” He quickly opened up the browser and went to the same websites he’d been checking recently.

“Fascinating,” Schneep said. “It is very handy that they just hand those out. I saw a sign for free chargers on the way in as well. Fascinating. Fascinating. Fascinating. Fascinating.”

“You good, Volt?” Anti glanced at him.

“Y-yes.” Schneep shook his head slightly. “I am just... feeling a bit off. I think it has been too long since I took my medicine, you know?”

“Hm... another reason to go home soon, I guess,” Anti muttered.

“I-I will be fine,” Schneep said. “Don’t let me distract you.” He dragged over a chair from another computer so he could sit next to Anti. “Now. Local news sites? I use those quite often myself.”

“Yeah, you were the one who gave me some of these addresses,” Anti said.

“Oh. Right.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Anti looked at him again, concern on his face.

“Yes, I am sure,” Schneep insisted. “Just continue to scroll through the page, please.”

Anti scrolled. “It’s easier to Control F and search for IRIS, you know. But yeah, no harm in being thorough—”

Schneep inhaled sharply. He pointed at a line on the screen. “A-are you seeing this?!”

Anti blinked. He hadn’t really been focusing too much on all the headlines, but now he leaned forward. The headline read: Fire at Local Coffee Shop Almost Burns it Down. It was accompanied by a picture of a building with soot-stained walls. A building that looked familiar. “Isn’t that... the shop you worked at?”

“Latte Lake,” Schneep said idly. “Y-yes. So... it is real. C-can you click on that?”

“Yeah.” Anti did so, and both of them leaned forward to read intently. Apparently a worker said that she might’ve left a stove in the back on when she closed up shop. ‘I was... in a daze [that night],’ the quote read. “That—that is Jennifer,” Schneep muttered. “We often had the same shift. She was always very focused. To the point of being a bit intense about the closing-up procedure. She... she would not... leave a stove on. Even if in a daze.”

Anti stared at the text on the screen, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He returned to the main page of the website, using the Control F command to start searching for specific phrases. Addresses, place names, people names—“Oh my god.” Anti clicked on another headline. “What’s the name of Jameson’s stage manager, again?”

“Darla,” Schneep said. “I think.”

“That’s what I thought. Last name?”

“I-I do not know.”

Anti bit his lip. “Me neither. But look at this.” The headline read, Car Accident Leaves Woman Injured. The article listed the woman’s name as Darla Knight. He used the same command to search the phrase ‘stage manager’—and found it listed as the woman’s occupation. “Oh my god.”

Schneep inhaled sharply, his eyes going wide. “That—there are—look! Th-the statement from her, she mentions she is ‘in a daze.’”

“‘It was like my body stepped into the road on its own’,” Anti read, that feeling of dread growing in his stomach. “Oh my fucking god. Shit. Shit.”

“Th-this could be a coincidence, right?” Schneep asked hesitantly. “A coincidence that... two people we know back home... have been caught in tragedies...”

“Do you know the names of any people Jackie works with?” Anti asked.

“Ah, there is Dr. Green, I think? I cannot remember his first name right now. B-but Jackie’s hospital is Mirygale Saint General, remember?”

Anti was already searching that up. After a bit of scrolling, he found a single article—dated from three days ago. There was a theft of supplies at Mirygale Saint General Hospital. They were looking for suspects, but it was still early. Anti would bet that they’d find the culprit to be someone Jackie worked with frequently, though. “This is what Distorter meant,” Anti whispered. “We thought he’d target us. But... h-he’s making it hard for people back home...”

“A-are we sure?” Schneep asked.

“Look at the dates on these! This hospital thing was the morning after Distorter made that threat. Then the car accident was the day after, and the fire was this morning!” Anti shook his head. “Three times is too much to be a coincidence.”

Schneep sat there, staring quietly. Then he shook his head. “I-is there any news about IRIS?”

“Nothing I can see,” Anti said, quickly scrolling. He searched up IRIS, using both the Control F command and the website’s built-in searchbar. “Nothing at all.”

Schneep stood up. “We have to go home. Not to the flat. To Mirygale.”

“I... I think the others will agree,” Anti said quietly. It was still a risk, but... their friends were caring people. They wouldn’t let others suffer for their choices. He logged out of the computer, then stood up. “We need to tell them right now.”

...

A few hours later, a large group of people—mostly adults, but accompanied by two young kids—boarded the train across the country, the line heading north.

They couldn’t avoid it any longer. They had to take the risk.

[vyl3tpwny]

You inspired me to get back into Bangarang era Skrillex without shame in my heart and to embrace the (harmless) cringe in my soul. As well as seek out other lesser known artists who keep up that sound. So, thanks!

real talk i have been making music for almost two decades now. when i first heard skrillex's music i instantly knew it was amazing. but i couldn't really express why. as i've gotten older, spent lots and lots of time making music and learning about music and researching, a lot of things i used to adore don't impress me like when i first heard them. but even all this time later, skrillex's music — past and present — is incredible and untouchable. i think a lot of casual listeners do not realize just how flawless, complex, and perfectly executed his sound design and ideas are across the board. the best thing you can do when listening to skrillex's music is just pick out ONE single sound and ask yourself "how did he create this sound? how do you go about creating this sound from scratch". the casual listener rarely considers a question like this, but when you ask this about nearly anything skrillex makes, even if you can fathom an answer it's still the most mindblowing thing in the world.

but sound design is not everything either. i got sucked into the soundcloud community around 2016 or so. to any of my soundcloud classmates, peers, and alumni, hey how are you doing <3 but the soundcloud scene of 2016-2019 was a VERY specific beast. a lot of the music that emerged during the scene's height was this idea that sound design is always more important than anything else. so you would have tons and tons and tons of songs that came out that had crazy sound design ... but not much else. this goes back to skrillex's music. skrillex's sound design isn't just complex, but it's also executed with amazing songwriting. it isn't just a tech fest, he's making amazing songs, perfectly accessible, with incredible sound design as the foundation rather than the only thing the music has to offer. for a while i think i had been so swept up by the soundcloud scene that i rlly ignored songwriting in favour of sound design, like i had to choose.

that is to say, skrillex's music has been and will always be a pinnacle of what "festival EDM" should be evaluated as in standard. i've already done my share of criticizing skrillex for how he butchered "dubstep", and i'm not going to ever pretend that such criticism does not exist. but regardless, EDM is an extremely saturated genre which has caused lots of people to hate or misunderstand it. i think if people focused more on making strong songs and not tunnelvisioning on one aspect of the music, EDM would be more compelling to more people, beyond just 'sounding good' or 'being a banger'.

scary monsters and nice sprites, the song, is a really good song. it has a pretty standard arrangement and flow, but moment to moment it's always interesting and full. the production is so ridiculously clean and dynamic but does not skimp out on making shit sound beefy and deep as well. but what a lot of people don't realize is that the sound design on that song is so incredible, that in a lot of music spaces, it's considered a holy grail to whoever fully reverse engineers the growls in scary monsters. for over 10 years now, there have been dedicated skype groups, discord servers, youtube streams, and forum threads on people literally dedicating portions of their music making lives to trying to understand JUST the scary monsters growls alone. what makes it so elusive is that it's likely done with the FM8 synth and trying to reverse engineer more than 2-3 operators on an FM synth is literally a death sentence. skrillex himself probably couldn't remake it from scratch, only create something similar doing the moves he would do in FM8. but the scary monsters growls are literally a holy grail and people are STILL working in small community pockets to figure out how it was done, 14 years after the album came out.

[annabelle--cane]

Hello!

You’ve said that you fly on planes pretty often… As someone who’s never been on a plane before, could you tell me about what it’s like riding in a plane for the first time/some things you’ve learned to do to make it an easier experience?

Hope you’ve been doing well <3

with the qualifiers that while I used to fly a lot, I haven't since late 2019 + different airlines have extremely varying standards for comfort + I'm white and able bodied so there are a lot of common concerns that I've never had to think about:

-> being in an airport is first and foremost about waiting around and doing nothing. you queue to check your bag, you queue to go through security, you sit at your gate for a while after the inevitable delays to your takeoff time, you wait for your boarding group to be called, you queue in the group itself to get on the plane, eventually you queue to get off the plane, you queue to go through customs, and then you wait while staring aimlessly at some kind of hypnotic carousel of nearly identical black suitcases to collect your checked luggage. you can either gaslight yourself into believing that there is enjoyment to be found in waiting in huge lines or you can lose yourself to the queue madness.

-> speaking of the hypnotic bag carousel, it'll be easier to pick out your checked bags on sight if they're more distinct looking. if you've got some brightly colored suitcases, use those, otherwise they might pass you by three times before you spot them.

-> if you have a tendency to get car sick or sea sick or anything then I'd recommend bringing some anti nausea medication, in my experience most flights aren't particularly bumpy but better safe than sorry. plane bathrooms can be kinda nasty, if you're concerned about hygiene then you might want to bring some surface wipes. they tend to blast the AC, and the blankets they give out are static electricity central, so I'd recommend wearing a good jacket/cardigan and maybe bringing a small TSA approved(tm) sized bottle of hand cream.

-> if something about the processes of bag checking, security, boarding, customs, etc. is confusing you, you'll likely be in a group of dozens of people trying to do the same thing and you can ask around to see if someone if willing to explain.

-> your airline will probably tell you how early before your flight you should to get to the airport, and I would always advise arriving even earlier than that. ex., I've had a lot of experiences where getting there three hours before an international flight was technically enough time, but I had to rush everything and only got to my gate at the last minute. I would a hundred times over prefer to window shop in the expensive tech stores on the other side of security for half an hour than have to book it with my carry on down a huge backrooms looking empty hallway just to barely make it in time.

-> this could easily be a me thing but I've found the version of myself that exists on airplanes only wants to entertain herself with activities that I would never consider with my feet on solid ground. I enter an airplane and suddenly voraciously want to do a crossword and listen to europop. basically, if you're nervous about the flying itself, then I'd suggest planning to do something fun and kind of novel so you can have something a bit special to look forward to.

-> if you've got a window seat, look out the window! look at your city from above and either have an existential crisis or develop a god complex, it's great. watching a sunrise while flying over the ocean is basically like inventing a religion.

[authorchariot]

> ENTRY: WHERE_WILD_THINGS_USED_TO_ROAM

RATING: explicit

CATEGORY: star wars sequel trilogy (2015-2019)

PAIRING: poe dameron x ftm!reader x dj

EST. READING TIME: 49m 45s

INDEX TAGS: cum swallowing, dom/sub undertones, double penetration, double vaginal penetration, established relationship, face-fucking, facials, fingering, not beta read, oral sex, pov second person, praise kink, rough oral sex, spanking, threesome, trans character, trans male character, unsafe sex, vaginal sex

SUMMARY: ten years ago, you left the chaos of slicing and smuggling behind for a steadier life — and a steadier love — with poe dameron. but when an old flame hacks back into your life, stirring up memories of the person you used to be, you're forced to choose; cling to the peace you've built or chase a dangerous spark you thought you'd outgrown. or maybe, just maybe, there's a third option… if poe says yes

ACCESS MATERIAL ON AO3 OR BELOW

The Resistance base hums with life around you; the low thrum of engines in the hangars, the occasional bark of orders through comms and the more comforting background of tools clanking against starship hulls. You're tucked away at your workstation, a mess of wires and data-pads spread out before you, half-listening to the chatter of fellow techs and half-lost in your own thoughts.

It's been nearly ten years now. Ten years of steady ground under your feet. Ten years with Poe.

You still can't quite believe it sometimes; how someone like him, with his lopsided grin and his heart like a twin sun, ever found you. You, a former slicer, running jobs for anyone with the credits, living in the shadows with thieves and traitors, never dreaming of a life that wasn't scraping by on the edge of legality. But Poe had seen you — really seen you — for more than the sharp fingers and the fast mouth and the broken past.

He'd pulled you into the light. Given you a home, a family, a future.

You smile as you work, thinking about dinner last night; Poe laughing around a mouthful of stew, reaching across the table to wipe sauce from your chin, pressing kisses into your neck until you were breathless and tugging him toward the bedroom. The warmth of his body wrapped around yours after, the way he murmured your name like a prayer even in his sleep.

You miss him today. He's off-world, leading a recon mission. You've gotten used to it — the nights apart, the worry gnawing at your ribs — but it never gets easier. You keep busy. You stay strong. He's counting on you to be here when he comes home.

You're halfway through calibrating a nav unit when your comm buzzes. Frowning, you wipe your hands on your pants and pick it up. No name. No encryption marker. Just a blinking incoming message warning.

Your heart stutters. Only a handful of people would know how to bypass Resistance protocols to reach you directly. And most of them are long gone; dead or dust in some forgotten corner of the galaxy. Still, curiosity wins out. You open the message.

[INSECURE] 🔓 — UNAUTHORISED CONTACT/MSG/ :: Hey, handsome. What you up to these days?

You hesitate for a moment. They will've known who they were getting through to if they managed to reach your comm directly so it has to be someone you know. Or someone you knew. You slowly type out a reply.

> YOU: Who is this?

The screen of your comm lights up with another message; a picture. It's definitely you (albeit younger) and you're laughing, probably in a bar somewhere. And there, with his arm wrapped around your shoulders...

/MSG/ :: Come on now, you don't forget a face (or a body) that fast. ;-)

You swallow hard, hesitantly typing and sending another message.

> YOU: DJ. /MSG/ :: There he is. /MSG/ :: You still hot as Hell?

Yeah, it's DJ. Still the same. You can practically hear the stutter in his voice as you read the messages. That stutter you used to find so endearing, especially when it was whispered in your ear or muffled against your neck... You shake off the feeling and type back.

> YOU: What do you want? And why're you just popping up out of the aether, after all this time? /MSG/ :: Could ask you the same thing, wildcat. /MSG/ :: I'm in the area. Thought I'd look you up. Catch up on old times.

Oh, no. 'Catch up on old times.' Is that what he's calling it now? It used to be 'a quick drink to celebrate' after a job or 'sharing a hotel room' because you didn't have the credits. Now it's 'catching up on old times'. Yeah, it's the same old DJ.

Slowly, you type out a reply, already dreading the response.

> YOU: And what would we do if we did 'catch up'? /MSG/ :: Well, that depends. /MSG/ :: Would you still wanna knock boots like old times? ;-) > YOU: Can't.

You send the message almost instantly. You can't. You're different now. You grew up. No more drinking yourself blackout drunk, no more hacking vending machines for free snacks and definitely no more sleeping around and taking back-shots in cantina bathrooms.

You're settled. You're happy. You have a stable job, a cozy apartment-pod and, above all else, a wonderful, gorgeous husband who'd tear the universe apart for you. You can't let all of that go.

/MSG/ :: Can't or won't? > YOU: Married.

He doesn't reply for a long while and it almost upsets you. You haven't seen DJ in so long but, knowing him, you give him an inch and he'll take a mile. You have to be firm with him.

/MSG/ :: Congrats. /MSG/ :: Does he treat you right?

It sends an odd warmth through you. DJ did have his moments, though they were few and far between, when he let himself seem even a little affectionate. Usually, it was the whole rebel without a cause schtick but, occasionally, he let the mask slip. Maybe he's gotten a little soft, after all these years.

> YOU: Yeah but I don't think you'd like him. /MSG/ :: Oh? /MSG/ :: Why's that, wildcat? /MSG/ :: Is he boring? Prude? > YOU: He's not boring or a prude. He's just very strong-willed. > YOU: And he doesn't take shit. I know you like an easy target. /MSG/ :: Strong-willed, huh? Sounds like a bit of a control-freak. /MSG/ :: Bet he doesn't even let you have fun anymore.

You pause again. He makes it sound like Poe's breathing down your neck every minute of every day. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have your own social lives outside of each other, your own hobbies. But, for some stupid reason, DJ's words put you on the defensive.

> YOU: Fun? Like what? /MSG/ :: The kinda fun we used to have. /MSG/ :: Drinking 'til dawn, dancing on tables, fucking strangers in bathroom stalls.

That's fun?

Truth be told, a few years ago that might've sounded like a great Friday night, post-gig. But now? Now it seems like a whole lot of hassle that wouldn't get you anything apart from a stomach pump and probably some horrible STI. Reading the message, you feel like you can still taste the cheap, silty alcohol on your tongue. The stuff that felt like barbed wire going down and felt even worse coming back up a few hours later.

You much prefer the life you live now; cooking up something nice for when Poe and BB-8 get home, eat and watch some tele-dramas and then snuggle up. It's peaceful, warm, healing. It makes you forget all those mornings you woke up on barroom floors with some random guy's comm-hook scribbled on your arm. It's better this way.

> YOU: I'm not really that person anymore, DJ. I grew up. /MSG/ :: Grew up or grew boring?

He shoots back. Ouch.

/MSG/ :: I remember a time when you weren't afraid of a good time. /MSG/ :: Now it sounds like you're just a little wifey, following orders and playing house.

You realise it was probably his intention from the get-go but he's pissed you off now.

He always knew just how to do that; which buttons to press and in what order to get the desired effect.

> YOU: What do you want? Did you just message me, after nearly a decade, wanting to sex? /MSG/ :: What? You turn into a saint or something? > YOU: I'm still fun! /MSG/ :: So what's your idea of fun these days? /MSG/ :: Baking cookies and watching tele-dramas with the hubby?

Your brow furrows before you hesitate. Damn, that really does sound like fun now. Maybe you really did get boring...

> YOU: He's a good guy. /MSG/ :: Sure.

He doesn't sound — or read — convinced.

/MSG/ :: Does he make you feel alive, wildcat? Or is he just comfortable?

That crawls under your skin. You married Poe Dameron, for God's sake. One of the best pilots in history? Heartthrob of the entire Resistance? The love of your life? He's comfortable, of course, but he's amazing, funny and gorgeous to boot.

> YOU: What do you want me to tell you? He's noble, he's sweet, he's absolutely dynamite in the sack and he loves me. What more could I ask for? /MSG/ :: Damn. Sounds like a dream. /MSG/ :: And you're happy with that? Being domesticated? > YOU: In what way? /MSG/ :: In every way. /MSG/ :: Settling down, giving up your freedom, fucking one guy for the rest of your life?

You have to be blunt with him. Because you know what he's angling for and, yeah, sure, DJ was good in bed. Granted; it was usually drunk fumbles in the dark but he was good. Rougher.

He used to bite, used to take great pleasure in getting you all marked up for him, used to pin you up against walls and kiss you until you were dizzy. It was disorienting and amazing. He was good with his hands. And his mouth. And he was big too. He was good, yes, but that's still not worth risking the entire life you've built with Poe. Especially when Poe's just as good but in a different way; caring, sweet, loving. It's a different kind of intense, one that makes your chest ache just thinking about it.

> YOU: I'm not cheating on him. /MSG/ :: Didn't ask if you would. Just asked if you're happy with the idea of never being with anyone else again. /MSG/ :: Because I remember a time when the thought of being tied down like that would've driven you crazy.

You can't carry on with this line of questioning.

> YOU: How long are you sticking around? /MSG/ :: A few days. Just passing through on my way to a job. Why? > YOU: We could catch up. > YOU: But it can't go further than drinks. /MSG/ :: Understood. /MSG/ :: Just friends, catching up. /MSG/ :: You know, for someone who used to be the life of every party, you're suddenly full of rules. > YOU: What did you expect after this long. /MSG/ :: I don't know. /MSG/ :: But you're acting like you're on a leash. /MSG/ :: Is he the one making all the rules? > YOU: He's not controlling. I love him. /MSG/ :: Yeah. You said that.

You pause again for a moment because, yes, he has you second guessing yourself. Did you really just settle down and lose your entire personality because a guy put a ring on your finger? Surely not. That's not how that works, right?

But you're still on the defensive. Whatever he's planning, you can't give in. Shut down DJ first, have an existential crisis later.

> YOU: We can't get back together. > YOU: I know what you're trying to do, DJ. /MSG/ :: Who said anything about getting back together? /MSG/ :: I'm just trying to figure out if the person you used to be is still in there somewhere or if your hubby tamed you completely. > YOU: I'm still here. Just mellowed out. /MSG/ :: Mellowed or neutered? /MSG/ :: Do you even swear anymore. > YOU: Like a sailor. /MSG/ :: So you're telling me that, under all this domesticity, you're still the same dirty-mouthed, little punk?

There's a long pause and you glance around to make sure none of the other techs notice you slacking off a little as you type on your communicator.

/MSG/ :: You gonna tell me to fuck off if I ask if you miss it? Us?

Another long pause. Part of you does miss it; wild nights of partying, travelling from system to system, robbing rich bastards blind and taking joyrides in sleek, sexy star-ships? It was fun but...

> YOU: I miss it but it's different. > YOU: There's structure, here. It's stable. > YOU: I'm not worried about where my next meals coming from or where I'm sleeping for the night. > YOU: Or who's gonna plant a knife in my back next. > YOU: It's different /MSG/ :: I get it. You traded chaos for stability. I can see the appeal in that. /MSG/ :: But are you happy? Like genuinely happy? > YOU: I am. > YOU: I miss you though.

You sigh softly, the weakness seeping in, as you send that last message. DJ did care for you, once upon a time. Still, you can't really tell if he's asking you this because he actually gives a shit or if he's just trying to worm his way back into your life. You wouldn't put it past him. But there's still a little part of you that misses him; the way he used to grab your hand as you ran with pockets full of credits, the way he used to kiss you on the forehead and stutter out some stupid nickname, the way he used to promise you every star in the sky just after the next big score that never came. He did care once.

Suddenly, an idea...

> YOU: Okay so I have a hypothetical for you... /MSG/ :: Hit me. > YOU: I'll ask him and if (and this is a big if) he says yes, maybe we could have some fun? Together, I mean. Three of us. /MSG/ :: Are you serious right now? > YOU: I said if. /MSG/ :: Yeah, yeah, I know. /MSG/ :: So you gotta ask the hubby first? /MSG/ :: And if he says yes? > YOU: Whatever he says, I'll get back to you. > YOU: But if he says no, then that's it, okay? /MSG/ :: Deal.

You turn off your comm and place it down on your workbench, letting out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

The thought of being sandwiched between Poe and DJ is already getting you a little hot under the collar but the thought of asking Poe and him getting upset is tamping it down.

You've always been honest with him and, if you ask him this, lay your cards on the table, it's in his court and he can't, for a minute, say you've been hiding anything from him.

You'd never. He deserves better than that.

Now all there is to do is sit and wait...

A few hours later, you're sat on the couch in your apartment-pod, thinking about how to broach the subject with Poe. It might not be an easy chat but you're willing to ask him and, if he shuts it down, then that's it, you walk away. There's no shame in asking, right?

The doors slide open and the sudden sound makes you jump, your head snapping in the direction of the door. And there he is, flight-suit a little dirty with smears of engine oil, smelling of cologne and ozone. BB-8 rolls in behind him, rolling toward you with happy beeps. You pat his dome and stand up, walking toward Poe, as he closes the doors behind him.

"Hey, honey." You sigh, relieved by his presence, and he sets down his helmet and gloves, popping the collar of his flight-suit.

"Hey, baby." He's tired but he's happy to see you. He always is. You wander up and wrap your arms around his neck, pressing a slow, loving kiss to his lips.

"How was recon?" You ask and his arms find their way around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

"It was fine. Nothing crazy." He notices your demeanour, a little more uptight than usual, a little more quiet. "Everything alright?" He runs his knuckles along your cheek and you lean into the touch before tucking your face against his neck, savouring the feeling of his warm skin against your own.

"Mhm. Just thinking. Can I talk to you about something? It's not an emergency or anything." He pulls away slightly, concern etched onto his features. He nods and leads you over to the couch, waving BB-8 back to his charging station to give you both some privacy.

"What's on your mind, baby?" He sits beside you on the couch, his full attention focused on you. You fiddle with your hands in your lap, staring down at them.

"So I got a message out of the blue today from an old friend..." You start and Poe nods.

"Oh, yeah? Who was it?" He's clearly not trying to sound too interested but you know the way his brain works, how he doubts himself sometimes.

"Just an ex. We haven't talked in ages and he just popped up." You tell him and he tenses slightly. He loves you. He trusts you. But he still gets these little pangs of jealousy from time to time.

"Let me guess, he wanted to 'catch up'?" He asks and you look up at him, hoping that he can tell you're being open and genuine with him.

"He did and I said no." His expression softens, brows relaxing, as he reaches out to tuck a stray lock of hair out of your eyes. "But he's in the area and... I had an idea but it all depends on you. I don't want to put what we have at risk and, if you say no, I'll never ask again, okay?" You tell him and Poe nods slowly, pursing his lips slightly. You're not usually this serious so, whatever this is, he knows you aren't suggesting it lightly.

"What's the idea?"

"So hear me out. What if we met him, had a few drinks and, if we all got along, we could head back to a hotel and..." You trail off, hoping he can fill in the blanks. His eyes widen, considering. Still, the thought of putting your relation at risk tethers him to reality.

"And if things go south?" He asks.

"Then we call it quits, no questions asked, no hard feelings." He nods slowly, considering your words. The idea is definitely tempting but the stakes have the potential to be quite high. "Would you be okay with it? With someone touching me like that?" And Poe hesitates, possessiveness battling with curiosity. Finally, he speaks up.

"I think I could handle it."

"You could be as involved as little or as much as you want. If you just wanted to watch, that would be fine, but if you really wanted to join in, that would be fine too." His breath hitches slightly. He's never shared anyone like that before. The thought has crossed his mind a couple times, particularly when he's had just a little too much to drink, but now it's there and it's out in the open, hanging in the air between you, it feels closer, realer. You move closer and cup his face, turning him to face you fully. "Poe, you're my everything, okay? This is your decision. I told him, if you said no, I'd walk away. Because I married you." He leans into the touch, lifting his hand to rest over yours on his cheek.

"God, baby..." He whispers, kissing your palm. "You know how much that means to me, right? Giving this up just for me." You lean in to kiss him sweetly, needing him to know that his is all him, this is his call.

"Because one night of fun isn't worth giving up everything we have." You tell him and he gently pulls you into his lap, your weight grounding him, his hands resting on your hips.

"Alright. Let's say I agree. Let's say I'm okay with sharing you for the night. What're the rules?" He asks. He's right. There needs to be boundaries. Everything needs to be crystal clear so no-one comes out of this with regrets or hurt feelings.

"What rules would you want?" You ask in reply, absently playing with a rogue lock of his hair as you listen. He takes a moment to consider it.

"Rule one; no kissing on the mouth, unless it's me. Rule two; if any of us say stop, it stops right away, no questions asked." He says slowly and you nod. "Rule three; he doesn't get to finish inside you."

"Okay. But is finishing on me okay? Or in my mouth?" You ask and he considers for a moment. You swear you feel a twitch between your thighs as he blushes at the thought.

"Yeah... On your face, your chest; wherever you're comfortable with. And in your mouth is okay too, if you're okay with that." Running a hand through his dark locks, you nod.

"Okay, I'll message him back. How's tomorrow sound?"

"Tomorrow's fine." He says as you pull out your comm. "You gonna invite him over?" Instantly, you look up and shake your head.

"No, no. Hotel. I don't want him here. Feels too intimate." You tell him and Poe nods, relieved. He seems a little cautious but, if the bulge in his flight-suit and the light flush on his cheeks is anything to go by, he's a little excited too. You lace your fingers into his and squeeze reassuringly as you text with your free hand.

> YOU: Hey, DJ. Hubby's down with it. Got some rules though; no kissing on the mouth and no creampies. Got it? /MSG/ :: Got it. No making out, no baby batter. > YOU: :-) > YOU: We'll be at the Bantha Bones bar by 7 tomorrow. /MSG/ :: 7 @ Bantha Bones. See you there. ;-)

"All set?" Poe asks as you toss you comm onto the other side of the sofa. You give him your full attention, burying your nose in his hair as you kiss the crown of his head. He's still a little stiff but he's also absolutely turned on.

"All set. You sure you're okay with this?" You ask in response and he pulls back, giving you a warm smile, the type that makes your cheeks blush a pretty pink and sends a tingling sensation all throughout your body.

"I'm sure." He pecks you on the lips. "I trust you. Just promise me one thing?"

"Anything, hon."

"If, at any point, this stops feeling right or you get uncomfortable, you'll let me know." His eyes search yours, intense and earnest. "I don't care how many drinks you've had, how horny you are or how charming this guy might be." You squeeze his hand and nod.

"I promise. I'll tell you."

"Good."

The next day, you and Poe make your way to the Bantha Bones, the dim lighting and familiar din of conversation bringing you a strange kind of comfort. You're already feeling a little nervous; this is uncharted territory, even if it's with someone you know. Poe, ever the easy-going presence by your side, brushes your shoulder with his as he leads you through the crowd.

"Everything alright?" His voice is low, just for you. His thumb rubs the back of your hand. You nod.

"Yeah, just... Y'know."

"Hey, no pressure. If it gets weird, we walk. Simple as that." He reassures you, his tone so steady it calms the tightness in your chest.

You spot him almost immediately. DJ's slouched in a booth by the far wall, drink in hand, his eyes scanning the crowd as though he's still in the habit of looking over his shoulder. His greying, tousled hair and the stubble along his jaw make him look even more like the man you remember; though, a little older now, a little sharper in his posture.

Poe gives you a nudge. "Go on. I'll grab us some drinks."

You glance at him, hesitation lingering in your gaze, but he's already heading to the bar, leaving you to make your way toward DJ. With each step, the old feelings — the ones you thought were buried — stir in your chest. When you reach him, DJ looks up, a wide grin spreading across his face.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my f-f-favourite wildcat." He teases, his voice familiar and rough. There's the stutter. You'd forgotten how much you liked it. And there's a twinkle in his eye, the same one that used to set your heart racing.

"Don't start." You warn teasingly, a grin tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"C'mon, sit down. I won't bite." He murmurs, setting his drink down before he peers up at you. "Not yet, anyway."

You settle in the booth opposite DJ, leaving space for Poe. "You look good." He says and just that little compliment brings heat to your cheeks. You hope he doesn't notice it in the low light. You've not flirted in years so this attention is unfamiliar though not unexpected not unwanted.

"Thanks. You look good too. You've aged a bit. But like...in a good way, y'know?" You stumble your way through the backhanded compliment and he grins.

"So've you. But you already looked a-amazing." He purrs, eyes straying down to take in your outfit. "Where's Hubby?" He asks and you nod in the way of the bar.

"Just grabbing us some drinks." DJ nods and glances over at the bar, where Poe grabs a couple drinks and slides a few credits on the counter.

"Mm. He let you come sit with me alone?" He asks, quirking a brow. "More trusting than I'd be in his situation." You turn your attention back to DJ and his stupid, smug face. The same one you'd gladly still have your lips all over.

"Okay but you didn't trust anyone and you were always incredibly jealous. It was kinda hot when I was younger but, dear God, you had some anger issues." You tell him and a deep chuckle rumbles through his chest, warming something low and deep in your body.

"Yeah, I was a real piece of w-w-work back then. But I've learned a thing or two since then and, I gotta say, it's kinda hot that he's okay with this." He says and you nod, turning your head back to look at Poe from across the room as he walks toward the booth, drinks in hand.

"Yeah... I'm lucky to have him."

Two drinks slide across the table before Poe settles in beside you. "Thanks, hon." You pull the drink toward you and take a long sip. It's not overly strong but there's a lot of it, enough to get the ball rolling, you're sure. "So, Poe, this is DJ. We used to run in a crew together. DJ, this is Poe, my husband."

"P-Pleasure to officially meet you." DJ extends his hand across the table, his grip confident as Poe grips it. When he settles back in his seat, Poe easily drapes his arm around the back of the booth in a protective, loving gesture that just seems so natural. It's nice.

After the introductions, the two seem to get along, finding common ground surprisingly quickly. They give old stories from their respective circles, most of them including you in one way or another. They try to keep you engaged but, as you slowly drain your drink, the rest of the bar seems to grow fuzzy and quiet and Poe's warmth at your side and DJ's low, stuttering purr light a fire in you that you struggle to tamp down. You rest your head on Poe's shoulder and get comfortable, propping your legs on the bench on DJ's side of the booth, just listening to them talk. DJ seems to have this magic ability to talk to people like he's known them years, even if it's only been an hour or so. It's disarming. One of the things you use to love about him.

Suddenly, you feel a rough hand on your calf, caressing you through your pants. Under the table, DJ has his hand around your leg, gently massaging the muscles there, easing the tension away, as he keeps chatting with Poe, who's too engrossed to notice the subtle contact. You stiffen slightly as the hand slides a little further up, biting your lip but not pulling away. He takes it as an invitation, his movements growing a little more noticeable. You sigh at the contact and wet your lips, tilting your head to look at Poe before reaching down to place a hand on his thigh. He pauses mid-sentence and places his hand over yours, looking down at you with a warm smile.

"Baby? You okay?" He asks, unaware that your legs are slowly being inched apart by DJ's curious fingers. The alcohol has a nice buzz running through your body. You've still got your wits about you but everything's bubbling up to the surface, particularly the thoughts of being sandwiched between these two men that have been plaguing you all day.

"Mhm. More than okay..." You tilt your head and press your lips to Poe's own, taking him by surprise, as you move your leg under the table, pressing the toe of your boot against DJ's zipper. Your hand on Poe's thigh slowly crawls upward until it rests on his crotch, earning yourself a groan against your lips. He's panting slightly when he finally pulls away. "You two seem to be getting along like a house on fire." You say and Poe's hand, rough with callouses, slides over your own, pressing your palm against the growing bulge there. You press your boot a little harder against DJ's zipper and a low growl rumbles through him.

"Yeah, he's alright." He murmurs in reply, voice a little huskier than before. "You seem distracted though."

"I won't lie; I'm getting a little antsy. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing you talk about cruisers and V38s but... It might be time to make a move?" You suggest and Poe's eyes dart up to DJ, who worries his lower lip between his teeth, clearly on-board with the idea.

"Lead the way." Poe says finally, picking up on the vibes.

"C'mon. Hotel's just around the corner."

With single-mindedness born of lust and a decent amount of booze, you lead the way to the hotel round the block. Both men follow suit, their movements almost predatory. The short walk to the hotel is tense with anticipation.

As you check in, Poe's hand rests possessively on the small of your back, while DJ's fingers brush against yours on the counter. Once you pick up the keycard, the path is simple; walk upstairs, get inside, lock the door. The room isn't anything to write home about; small and sparsely decorated, lit with tacky, red LEDs that cast stark shadows. The floor is worn and covered in scuff marks, a large bed situated in the centre of the room and a chair by a window with broken, lopsided blinds. It's clear nobody comes here for a pleasant, hospitable experience but that's not what you're here for either.

As soon as the door slides shut, Poe tucks himself against your back, his hands roaming along your sides. DJ's taller figure blocks the door, just watching hungrily.

"Now what?" Poe husks in your ear, his arousal clear, pressed against your backside. You step toward the bed and sit on the edge. That warm, fuzzy feeling still buzzes around in your body and you find yourself speaking before the words really process.

"I mean, I've just been thinking about being completely destroyed by you guys so like... I don't know... What do you guys wanna do?" You glance over at DJ, knowing he's more than willing to take the wheel and get this party started. His eyes darken as he steps forward, worn boots heavy on the floor. A large hand with nimble fingers grasps your chin firmly as he tilts your head back to look at him.

"You wanna be a g-good boy and do as we say?" His voice is a low growl, leaving no room for misinterpretation. You hum in approval and DJ releases you, taking a couple steps back to stand shoulder to shoulder with Poe. "Strip for us." You kick off your boots and stand, shrugging off your jacket and letting it fall to the floor. Poe's hands clench at his sides, struggling to stay still as he watches you. "Slowly." DJ adds, his voice hoarse. "Let us enjoy the view, hm?" Slowing your pace, you pull your shirt over your head along with your binder, leaving your upper half entirely bare. You reach down and unbuckle your belt, inching your pants down until they pool around your ankles and you can step out of them, leaving you in only your underwear. DJ reaches down and unashamedly squeezes the bulge in his pants. "Turn around. Bend over the b-bed." And you do as he tells you to, propping your hands on the mattress and leaning over, your backside only covered by the thin fabric of your underwear which is already damp at the gusset from your arousal.

You hear heavy steps as DJ moves behind you, placing a large hand on the small of your back, holding you in place. He leans over, his lips barely brushing the shell of your ear. "Such a good boy, doing exactly as you're told." Poe steps up too, not quite getting involved just yet, content in letting DJ take the lead for now. He drinks in the sight of you, unaware that you could be so obedient, that you would respond like this. A warm, familiar hand slides along your curves, fingertips ghosting along the waistband of your underwear.

"This wet already, baby?" Poe sighs airily. "Let's see." He hooks a finger into the waistband of your underwear and pulls it down. The sight earns a low groan from DJ and you whine as you feel slick dripping down your inner thighs, wet and warm.

"L-L-Look at this. You're absolutely soaked." One of DJ's hands moves to your backside, squeezing and kneading appreciatively. You lean into the touches, especially as Poe sinks two fingers inside you, friction nonexistent from how wet you are. DJ gives you a firm spank as Poe sets a slow, deep pace with his fingers, sliding them in and out, your toes curling against the floor. "You like that?" You let out another affirmative moan, pushing your hips back into those strong hands, which feel far more than two pairs. It feels like they're all over you, groping and squeezing and manhandling you in a way that feels all too good. DJ gives your rear another slap, watching it bounce slightly and letting out a husky chuckle. "Damn... You had him on his knees before, fly-boy? His mouth is to d-die for."

You whine as Poe's fingers slide from inside you, leaving you empty and wanting. "Don't worry, you'll get what you want, pussycat. But you gotta work for it first, mm?" DJ pulls you up from your position, bent over the mattress, as Poe grabs a pillow to cushion your knees as you're pushed to the floor. They stand over you, clearly hard in their pants. Poe seems to be at a bit of a loss. This side of you is unchartered territory and seeing DJ so easily guide you into such a submissive position has him reeling at what he's been missing out on. He's definitely learning a lot from the old slicer tonight.

DJ unbuckles his pants and inches down the zipper, pulling his cock free from his underwear and giving it a slow stroke. "Look at you. Forgot how c-c-cute you look on your knees, like that." He sighs and your mouth waters as precum beads at the slit. "You want this in your mouth, huh?" Your attention is drawn away from him as Poe unbuckles his pants and pushes them down his thighs, revealing his own erection. You wet your lips, eyes lidded as they flick between one cock to the other hungrily.

"Both of us?" Poe asks, his voice softer, more tentative.

"You'll have to take turns..." You manage and DJ chuckles lowly.

"Smart boy. Too big for you to take both at once." When you hesitate, Poe steps forward and runs his fingers through your hair. You peer up at him and he gives you a warm, encouraging smile, cutting through the haze of arousal that cloaks your vision.

"Start with me, baby. Nice and easy." You part your lips and take him in, his fingers resting lightly on the back of your hair. "That's it..." You sigh at the familiarity of your husband's cock sliding along your tongue. Your eyes drop shut as you focus on the weight of it, the pulsing heat in your mouth. He's leaking already as you draw him deep, licking and sucking all along the shaft, letting him guide your head, forward and back, in a familiar rhythm, your technique perfect from years of practice. "Holy shit..." Slow, long strokes, not too deep but just deep enough. Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see DJ slowly pumping at his cock, impatiently awaiting his turn. Poe's fingers tighten ever so slightly in your hair as droll drips down your chin, your mouth working him like a dream. "Fuck, baby..."

Suddenly, a large hand snarls into your hair as DJ decides he just can't take it anymore. Poe's dick slides from your mouth with a wet sound, your lips connected to the ruddy crown of his cock with a thin string of saliva.

"No wonder, f-fly-boy, here, can't get enough." He mutters, sliding himself past your lips. You have to stretch your mouth a little wider to take him in, your eyes rolling as he grips your hair. "Gotta be firm with you, wildcat. Might've forgotten all your skills..." He groans deeply, his hips moving to set a slow, deep pace which slowly picks up. "Goddamn, you still have the best mouth..." He grunts and Poe watches as your lips stretch wide around the slicer's dick, eager and desperate. DJ slides all the way in, pushing past your barrier, your nose buried in the thatch of thick, dark hair at the base. You gag slightly, a mix of saliva and pre bubbling around your mouth as you struggle to accommodate. He stays there for a moment before pulling out and letting you catch your breath. "Fuck, yeah..." You cough wetly, eyes pricking with tears, as Poe steps closer again.

"Come on, baby. Switch back to me." You do, sucking and tonguing at his cock messily, unashamed as drool oozes down your chin to pool on the floor. You moan as his fingers lightly tug at your hair, growing a little rougher, though only slightly, like he's anxious to try his hand at what DJ does. You bob your head eagerly, looking up at him as he bites his lip, murmuring soft praises under his breath. "You're so good, baby... Just like that... That's it..." You've never seen him like this before either; so hungry for you, so desperate. And then, for a moment, he stops. "Baby?"

"Mm...?" You manage, your lips still wrapped around his dick. He cards a hand through his thick, dark curls, cheeks flushed.

"Can I... Can I try a little harder?" He asks tentatively. "Like he does?" He jabs a thumb at DJ who grins wolfishly, his hand stroking at his cock, spreading the slick mix of pre and spit all over the shaft. You think for a moment before nodding slightly and Poe nods, gripping your hair firmly, mirroring DJ's earlier hold. "Open wider." He says and you obey without question, letting your jaw drop, and he pushes his hips forward, sliding his cock deep into your mouth, pressing against the barrier in your throat but not daring to go deeper. You gag slightly but stay obediently still. Poe takes up a steady rhythm, fucking your mouth just deep enough to make you take him into your throat just a little each time. As Poe uses your mouth, you reach up to wrap a hand around DJ's cock, pumping at the same pace as Poe's thrusts and earning yourself an appreciative, rumbling groan from the splicer.

"F-F-Fuck, yeah... Just like that..." He covers his hand with your own, guiding your strokes.

Eventually, you pull back, panting, your eyes watering.

"Don't...cum yet, okay?" You manage, your speech a little garbled after the rough treatment.

"Yeah, okay, baby." Poe manages between shaky breaths.

"You want a facial, huh?" DJ asks with a knowing grin and your cheeks flame. "N-Naughty boy. C'mon, over here." You lift your hand to wrap around Poe's dick, keeping your pace slow as not to overwhelm him just yet. Nimble fingers slip through your hair and curl tight as DJ establishes a quick, punishing rhythm, unafraid to push past your barrier and bury himself completely in your mouth. He gazes down at you, dark eyes glazed over with want. "F-F-Fuck... The amount of times I've jerked off to this thought... You're a little out of practice but... Damn, you're still p-perfect..." He rasps out as you gag and cough wetly around his cock, saliva dripping onto the floor in thin, glistening strings.

Finally, once tears are slipping down your cheeks and your lips are red and soaked with spit and pre, DJ pulls your head back. You let your eyes flutter shut, keeping your mouth open to receive whatever they give you. The slicer takes himself in hand as Poe does the same, groaning and the slick sound of skin on skin making you ache. Poe finishes first, painting the bridge of your nose and your forehead as he strokes your hair, mumbling about how sexy you look. DJ's load splashes heavily onto your cheeks and lips, the weight of it hot on your skin. Another stream of his arcs across your nose and coats your lashes as Poe leans in closer for a better angle, his last few spurts dropping onto your upper lip, making sure to get a little of it in your mouth. Some of it oozes down your neck and drips onto your chest, coating your skin in a slick, sloppy sheen.

When they finish, you wipe it out of your eyes and lick you lips, reaching any you can with your tongue and pulling it into your mouth. "F-Fuck, that's hot..." DJ manages between laboured breaths. "You really shoulda kept doing those porno holos. Would've made a fortune by now." He teases and you see Poe's eyes widen. He really is learning a lot today.

Eventually, you stagger to your feet and toss the pillow back on the bed, uncaring that it's splattered with saliva, cum and your own slick arousal. Poe's flagging now; his cock spent and in need of some recoup time, while DJ's still going strong. You wipe your face on the bedsheets, feeling energised yet still weighed down by the insatiable heat in your lower belly.

"How's...everyone feeling?" You manage, your voice weak and a little rough from having your throat pounded. DJ grins lazily.

"Feeling great." He purrs, squeezing the base of his dick, still hard, still leaking. Poe, on the other hand, looks dazed but satisfied, still trying to catch his breath.

"I'm good. Just...need a sec." He murmurs and you nod.

"Take a break, hon. Can we keep going?" You ask as Poe stumbles over to the chair by the window, dropping into it.

"Mhmm... You alright?" He asks, a hint of concern in his voice. You beam at him sweetly, already looking a dazed mess but glowing with excitement at how the night's gone so far.

"I'm having the time of my life." You reply and DJ chuckles.

"That's what we l-like to hear. Sure you can handle more, little wildcat?" He asks and you nod, watching Poe lean back, stretching his arms above his head and relaxing back into the chair to take a breather. DJ swaggers closer, ravenous eyes roaming your body, taking in the mess of cum and saliva on your neck and chest. "What's on your mind, handsome?"

"Getting a little needy..." You admit and his grin turns into a wolfish smile.

"Needy for what?"

"Y'know..." You part your knees a little, hoping he gets the hint. He does, lightly kicking your legs open and reaching down to press his fingers against your aching pussy. The ache feels tripled somehow as calloused fingers brush lightly over your swollen lower lips.

"You want me in here, huh?" He asks, as if there were any doubt. You whimper and nod quickly as he draws his thumb around your clit. "And what about fly-boy, over there? Does he get a turn or am I getting it all for myself?" You glance over at Poe, who's watching, still splayed out on the chair by the window.

"One solo round each and then one together? Sound okay?" You ask and Poe nods, giving you a thumbs-up, still trying to catch his breath, even as his cock starts to thicken again.

Laying back on the bed, you let your thighs fall open, setting your eyes back on the slicer looming over you. There's no shame here anymore. Everyone's on the same page and it feels so freeing. DJ grabs hold of your hips and hooks your legs over his shoulders before lining himself up, rubbing the head against your pussy.

"Alright, h-here I come." He pushes his hips forward slowly, groaning as he spreads you open. He's definitely bigger than you remember but not to an uncomfortable degree. There's this warm, pleasant stretch as he fills you, inching inside until he's fully seated, his pelvis flush against yours. The pace he sets is slow at first, his thick cock hitting all the right spots, making you whimper and moan.

"Ohhh, my God..." You whine out and he grins, wetting his lips, as he keeps a steady pace.

"So tight..." He mutters, fingers digging into the meat of your hips as he slowly increases the pace. "As good as you remember?"

"Better..." That pulls a soft laugh from him, one that you feel more than hear. He drops his gaze to where you're joined, watching his shaft disappear inside you with every long stroke. He's got the angle down just right, his hips slightly raised so he's grinding against that perfect spot inside you. "F-Fuck...! Oh, my God... DJ..."

"Mhmm..." He hums in approval as you squeeze down around him, picking up the pace a little more as you get used to the size of him again. "No wonder fly-boy put a ring on it. Forgot how good you felt..." You throw a weak but teasing smile up at him.

"As good as you remember?" You ask and his eyes roll slightly as he bottoms out again, filling you completely.

"B-Better..." He stutters out, his voice a low growl.

"Just remember... No cumming inside, yeah?" You remind him and he nods.

"Yeah; one round, no cream filling. Got it." He tosses you a sly wink before pulling back and pushing back in hard, making you whine at the stretch. God, he feels amazing, hitting all the right spots with this deep, searing pressure that makes your toes curl.

As his pace grows more and more punishing and your cries reach a fever pitch, he claps a hand over your mouth to muffle the sounds. "Shhh... You can take it." He tells you, laying into you with quick, deep thrusts. "Almost there..." And you can feel him pulsing deep inside you, his brows knitting in concentration. "Just a little more..." His strokes become shallower, more urgent, sweat beading on his brow as he fights to hold back his climax, needing to stay inside you as long as humanly possible, to keep this connection as long as he can.

Suddenly, he pauses. Bites his lip.

"DJ..." Your voice is a slight warning.

"Not yet, not yet..." He hisses through clenched teeth, eyes squeezed shut. The pressure's on as you notice Poe leaning forward in the chair, his cock at full mast again but his breath coming quick.

Don't break the rule. Don't break the rule, DJ...

With a strained grunt, he manages to pull out just in time, wrapping his fingers around the shaft and jerking in stiff movements until thick, hot ropes splatter across your stomach. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..." He gasps out, making sure to milk every last drop as Poe leans back, watching with a satisfied nod. It's warm on your belly, sticky and creamy as it clings to your skin.

DJ's careful to cradle your knees as he unhooks them from his shoulders, pressing little kisses to your inner thighs before stepping back. You sit up and press your lips to the head of his softening cock, licking away any stray drops and tasting yourself on his skin. He shudders at the sensation before he nods and tucks himself away in his pants, ruffling your hair affectionately. "Be right back. Don't go anywhere." DJ disappears into the ensuite and you turn your attention to Poe, who's taken the liberty of stripping down the rest of the way.

An adoring smile quirks at your lips as you get up on shaky legs and step over to him as he stands, back to full function now he's taken a breather.

"Your turn, big guy." You tell him as you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. "Having fun?" He kisses you again hungrily, hands moving to grope your backside possessively.

"So much fun." He huffs against your lips, breaking the kiss to trail his mouth down your neck. Holding onto his shoulders, you tug him back toward the bed. "You're gorgeous right now, baby." He mutters, gently pushing you down onto the rumpled sheets.

"I'm a mess." You correct him playfully.

"Exactly." He climbs up onto the bed, hovering over you and spreading your legs for him. His touch is warm and familiar, gentle and sweet, with an underlying hunger for you despite the amount of times he's made love to you before. "A messy, fucked-out, beautiful mess." The door to the ensuite opens and DJ hesitates for a moment before leaning against the door, watching the two of you.

"You gonna show him how we usually do it? He was wondering if you were as good as I said you are?" You tease and Poe smirks.

"Ohh, I'll show him." He replies confidently, fitting his hips between your thighs. You pull him down against you, his forehead pressed against yours, his eyes softened, thumbs brushing soothing circles on your hips. "You love showing off like this, don't you?" He lowers his voice and you get a glimpse of DJ out of the corner of your eye, leaning against the wall, arms folded across his broad chest. You lower you voice as well, your words for Poe's ears only.

"Yeah but he was wondering if you take care of me. He cares about me, hon, in his own weird way." You tell him and his expression turns tender.

"I can see that." His lips seal over yours in a slow kiss. "And I take god care of you, don't I?"

"You do. I wanna show him how good you are to me." You run your fingers through his curls, nuzzling against his jaw, feeling his stubble lightly rasp against your temple.

"Then let's give him a show."

With one, smooth motion, Poe slides himself home, letting out a soft groan at the feeling of being completely surrounded, embedded within you. After so long, it feels so natural with him but not dull — never that — because, whenever you look up at him and he's gazing down at you, gauging your reactions and making sure you're alright, you get this warmth blooming in the centre of your chest, this little voice in the back of your head that says 'this is the man you married'. This man. This lovely, dumb, sexy, gorgeous man. Poe Dameron. And it never fails to astound you just how perfect he is. It feels natural and familiar but it also feels new and perfect.

Slow, deep thrusts as he presses kisses to your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your lips. Wherever he can't reach with his mouth he covers with his hands, ensuring every inch of you is soothed by his touch. You barely register the sounds you're making. They feel so distant and far away, especially when you get lost in his eyes or when he steals your breath away with a kiss. It's like he's all around you, smothering you in a soft, cotton candy cocoon of affection.

Your lips are moving but your head is completely blank, your warm breath on his neck as you whisper praises into his skin. "You like that?" He murmurs and you nod.

"But...can I be on top for a bit?"

Without hesitation, Poe rolls over onto his back, looking up at you like you hung the stars for him. Everything else seems to fade away when he looks at you like that, his hands cradling your hips as he guides your slow, rocking thrusts. You brace your hands on his chest, letting your eyes drift shut as you take him in. He's letting out these sweet groans and breathless words of encouragement. Straightening your back, you lift your hands to your chest, lightly pinching and rolling your nipples, letting Poe guide your hips.

While you're trapped in this fog of affection and pleasure, it dawns on you; this is what DJ never gave you. When you were together, when you were working and partying and hopping from system to system, it never felt like this. It was intense and fiery and the physical side of things was amazing but Poe gives you something deeper; emotional fulfilment, which seems to heighten every sense.

The slide of your bodies together is smooth and slow, no need to rush. His hands are on your hips, your thighs, your stomach, appreciating every bit of you that he can reach as he watches you ride him with a kind of starstruck adoration.

Honestly, it doesn't even matter what DJ thinks. He can think what he damn well pleases.

This is fun. Not getting drunk and passing out in some back-alley near a cantina, no. Making love to the man you married, the man who appreciates you every day, who holds you up when you're down, who laughs at your jokes holds you when you cry. This is your idea of fun. And it's a damn good idea, you think.

"Baby..." The softest whisper brings you out of your reverie and you look down at him.

"You gonna cum inside me, honey?" You ask, voice breathless and sweet. From the sweat on his brow and the flush in his cheeks, you can tell he's close.

"Yeah..." You lean down, thread your fingers into his hair and press your lips to his, parting them and inviting him into your mouth. He takes the opportunity, sliding his tongue inside, moaning against your lips, as he spills inside you. He fills you with pulse after pulse, blunt nails biting into your hips as he grows light-headed from the pleasure. His load slowly drips out and oozes down around his cock and you keep holding on, keep rolling your hips, until he breaks away, panting, eyes lidded and full of love, as fresh as the day you met.

Finally, the finisher. You sit up and turn back to DJ, who's still leant against the wall, an odd expression on his usually impish features. It looks like satisfaction and pride...and longing. You hold out a hand and give him a smile, warm, inviting.

"Come here. Your wildcat needs you." You tell him and he hesitates for a moment before he reaches up to shrug off his coat, tugging off his clothes.

When he finally crawls up onto the bed, Poe doesn't move, allowing him to join the intimate space without feeling intrusive. His breath hitches as he shuffles behind you, large hands finding your waist with an uncharacteristic gentleness. One of your hands finds Poe's as the other tangles into DJ's and you turn your head to meet the slicer's gaze. He looks bewildered, almost. Like he's stumbled across something sacred. "Cyar'ika." It falls from your lips like a prayer; the name you used to call him, a reminder of where you met. He freezes for a moment before he leans down to press a kiss to the nape of your neck; an apology, you think, for all the times he took you for granted. He wraps an arm around your waist, nuzzling against the bend of your neck, before sheathing himself inside you beside Poe. The stretch is intense but wonderful. They don't move, just linger there, as you lay your head back to rest on DJ's shoulder, giving him better access. "A-Ahh... I missed you, cyar'ika." You murmur softly and DJ swallows hard, gathering you up in his arms and burying his face against your skin.

"I missed you too, k-k-kitya..."

Slow, shallow movements. It's almost overwhelming. Both DJ and Poe seem to lose themselves in the moment; the feeling of you, the sounds you make, the way you hold onto them. You turn your head to nuzzle against the slicer's temple and he makes this grumbling, purring sound; not aroused as such but contented — like a big cat — a sound reserved only for you. He mouths at your neck, kissing and biting lightly, not enough to bruise but just enough to feel, enough to keep you grounded. One of his hands slide down, fingers lightly rubbing over the hood of your clit, as they both move within you. Pleasure rushes through you at the touch, the fullness, the sheer intimacy of the moment. It's a heady feeling, sweet and intoxicating. It seems DJ learned something too; simply how to be vulnerable. And it has him broken behind you, nuzzling your neck, licking along the line of your collarbone.

Your breath comes in shallow gasps, your chest swelling with warmth, full to bursting. You're overwhelmed.

When you tilt your head back, catching DJ's eye, he really stops to see what he previously refused to; the heartache, the anger, the love and the lost years in between. He can't find the words so just pressed his face into your hair, holding onto you tightly. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you squeeze their hands. You're so close. So close now...

White-hot pleasure flushes through you, bringing the world down on you in a cacophony of sound, touch and emotion. Your vision whites out and there's a ringing in your ears. You shudder violently as you reach your peak and you let out these weak, shaky gasps.

"We've got you, baby. We've got you." Poe's voice calls out from the void and you feel him sit up, trapping you between him and DJ. Your body goes completely taut and then completely limp, mewling and whimpering with every slight touch of your skin. Your head lolls forward, forehead pressed to Poe's shoulder. "Baby?"

"Mmmm...?" You manage and he presses a kiss just below your ear, earning himself a little shiver and a high, quiet whine. You're trembling and clammy in their arms.

"You okay?" Poe asks and you struggle to string a sentence together.

"Y-Yeah... But I... I can't...feel my legs..." You murmur. That pulls a soft chuckle from DJ as he runs a hand along your thigh.

"That's just your body overloading, kitya. Looks like you sh-short-circuited yourself." He murmurs softly before he pulls his hips back, forcing a soft, breathless sob from your lips.

"Do you... Don't you guys wanna...?"

"Shhh..." Poe gently lifts you off his cock and settles you in his lap, cradling you against his chest. "I think you've had enough for tonight."

"Don't worry about us. We're good. Y-Y-You just relax, yeah?" DJ climbs off the bed and you nod as Poe lays back, resting your head on his chest and tucking your body against his side. The slicer stands awkwardly by the bed for a moment, watching Poe wrap a protective arm around you, his free hand stroking your arm as you nestle into his chest. With a small, tired smile, he looks up at DJ and pats the spot behind you.

"Hey, c'mon. There's room for one more."

Carefully, DJ spoons you from behind, pressing a tentative kiss to your shoulder before wrapping an arm around your waist, resting his hand lightly on your stomach. Poe brushes his lips against your hair, his chest rising and falling with soft, contented breaths.

"Thanks, guys..." You manage. "I hope you enjoyed this...as much as I did..."

"Baby, there's no question that we did." Poe assures you and DJ nods in agreement, his breath warm on your ear as he nuzzles your neck, voice low and rough.

"You're still incredible, kitya. Never should've d-doubted you. My wildcat's still in there, still going strong." He murmurs and you lazily tilt your head up to look at Poe, one hand sliding down to hold DJ's own.

"I think..." You yawn, curling up between the two men. "I think I might...just close my eyes for a bit..."

"Mmm. You go ahead and get some rest, baby. You earned it."

"We've got you, kitya."

[mostlysignssomeportents]

AI and the fatfinger economy

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me at NEW ZEALAND'S UNITY BOOKS in WELLINGTON TODAY (May 3). More tour dates (Pittsburgh, PDX, London, Manchester) here.

Have you noticed that all the buttons you click most frequently to invoke routine, useful functions in your device have been moved, and their former place is now taken up by a curiously butthole-esque icon that summons an unwanted AI?

https://velvetshark.com/ai-company-logos-that-look-like-buttholes

These traps for the unwary aren't accidental, but neither are they placed there solely because tech companies think that if they can trick you into using their AI, you'll be so impressed that you'll become a regular user. To understand why you find yourself repeatedly fatfingering your way into an unwanted AI interaction – and why those interactions are so hard to exit – you have to understand something about both the macro- and microeconomics of high-growth tech companies.

Growth is a heady advantage for tech companies, and not because of an ideological commitment to "growth at all costs," but because companies with growth stocks enjoy substantial, material benefits. A growth stock trades at a higher "price to earnings ratio" ("P:E") than a "mature" stock. Because of this, there are a lot of actors in the economy who will accept shares in a growing company as though they were cash (indeed, some might prefer shares to cash). This means that a growing company can outbid their rivals when acquiring other companies and/or hiring key personnel, because they can bid with shares (which they get by typing zeroes into a spreadsheet), while their rivals need cash (which they can only get by selling things or borrowing money).

The problem is that all growth ends. Google has a 90% share of the search market. Google isn't going to appreciably increase the number of searchers, short of desperate gambits like raising a billion new humans to maturity and convincing them to become Google users (this is the strategy behind Google Classroom, of course). To continue posting growth, Google needs gimmicks. For example, in 2019, Google intentionally made Search less accurate so that users would have to run multiple queries (and see multiple rounds of ads) to find the answers to their questions:

https://www.wheresyoured.at/the-men-who-killed-google/

Thanks to Google's monopoly, worsening search perversely resulted in increased earnings, and Wall Street rewarded Google by continuing to trade its stock with that prized high P:E. But for Google – and other tech giants – the most enduring and convincing growth stories comes from moving into adjacent lines of business, which is why we've lived through so many hype bubbles: metaverse, web3, cryptocurrency, and now, of course, AI.

For a company like Google, the promise of these bubbles is that it will be able to double or triple in size, by dominating an entirely new sector. With that promise comes peril: growth must eventually stop ("anything that can't go on forever eventually stops"). When that happens, the company's stock instantaneously goes from being a "growth stock" to being a "mature stock" which means that its P:E is way too high. Anyone holding growth stock knows that there will come a day when those stocks will transition, in an eyeblink, from being undervalued to being grossly overvalued, and that when that day comes, there will be a mass sell-off. If you're still holding the stock when that happens, you stand to lose bigtime:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/03/06/privacy-last/#exceptionally-american

So everyone holding a growth stock sleeps with one eye open and their fists poised over the "sell" button. Managers of growth companies know how jittery their investors are, and they do everything they can to keep the growth story alive, as a matter of life and death.

But mass sell-offs aren't just bad for the company – it's also very bad for the company's key employees, that is, anyone who's been given stock in addition to their salary. Those people's portfolios are extremely heavy on their employer's shares, and they stand to disproportionately lose in the event of a selloff. So they are personally motivated to keep the growth story alive.

That's where these growth-at-all-stakes maneuvers bent on capturing an adjacent sector come from. If you remember the Google Plus days, you'll remember that every Google service you interacted with had some important functionality ripped out of it and replaced with a G+-based service. To make sure that happened, Google's bosses decreed that the company's bonuses would be tied to the amount of G+ activity each division generated. In companies where bonuses can amount to 90% of your annual salary or more, this was a powerful motivator. It meant that every product team at Google was fully aligned on a project to cram G+ buttons into their product design. Whether or not these made sense for users, they always made sense for the product team, whose ability to take a fancy Christmas holiday, buy a new car, or pay their kids' private school tuition depended on getting you to use G+.

Once you understand how corporate growth stories are converted to "key performance indicators" that drive product design, many of the annoyances of digital services suddenly make a great deal of sense. You know how it's almost impossible to watch a show on a streaming video service without accidentally tapping a part of the screen that whisks you to a completely different video?

The reason you have to handle your phone like a photonegative while watching a movie – the reason every millimeter of screen real-estate has been boobytrapped with an icon that takes you somewhere else – is that streaming services believe that their customers are apt to leave when they feel like there's nothing new to watch. These bosses have made their product teams' bonuses dependent on successfully "recommending" a show you've never seen or expressed any interest in to you:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/15/the-fatfinger-economy/

Of course, bosses understand that their workers will be tempted to game this metric. They want to distinguish between "real" clicks that lead to interest in a new video, and fake fatfinger clicks that you instantaneously regret. The easiest way to distinguish between these two types of click is to measure how long you watch the new show before clicking away.

Of course, this is also entirely gameable: all the product manager has to do is take away the "back" button, so that an accidental click to a new video is extremely hard to cancel. The five seconds you spend figuring out how to get back to your show are enough to count as a successful recommendation, and the product team is that much closer to a luxury ski vacation next Christmas.

So this is why you keep invoking AI by accident, and why the AI that is so easy to invoke is so hard to dispel. Like a demon, a chatbot is much easier to summon than it is to rid yourself of.

Google is an especially grievous offender here. Familiar buttons in Gmail, Gdocs, and the Android message apps have been replaced with AI-summoning fatfinger traps. Android is filled with these pitfalls – for example, the bottom-of-screen swipe gesture used to switch between open apps now summons an AI, while ridding yourself of that AI takes multiple clicks.

This is an entirely material phenomenon. Google doesn't necessarily believe that you will ever want to use AI, but they must convince investors that their AI offerings are "getting traction." Google – like other tech companies – gets to invent metrics to prove this proposition, like "how many times did a user click on the AI button" and "how long did the user spend with the AI after clicking?" The fact that your entire "AI use" consisted of hunting for a way to get rid of the AI doesn't matter – at least, not for the purposes of maintaining Google's growth story.

Goodhart's Law holds that "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure." For Google and other AI narrative-pushers, every measure is designed to be a target, a line that can be made to go up, as managers and product teams align to sell the company's growth story, lest we all sell off the company's shares.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/05/02/kpis-off/#principal-agentic-ai-problem

Image: Pogrebnoj-Alexandroff (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Index_finger_%3D_to_attention.JPG

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

--

Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch Episode 6: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Once again I am watching Theory of Love because @lurkingshan gets specific pleasure out of making me change my mind about this show. This week we’re continuing with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), a new film to me, but probably my favorite we’ve watched so far. @lurkingshan wrote about how this film felt like it was something Khai would like more than Third. @neuroticbookworm connected the sci-fi ethics of the film’s memory wiping technology to the drama between Third and Khai. @solitaryandwandering wrote about how the film unpacks what’s needed for mature, sustainable relationships.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless MInd (2004)

In this film, a man named Joel (Jim Carrey), an average-seeming guy, is in a pretty down state after the breakup with his girlfriend Naomi. On a train ride back from Montouk, he meets blue-haired Clementine (Kate Winslet), a prototypical manic pixie dream girl who successfully seduces him. They begin a relationship and, after facing some challenges, Joel is blind-sided by Clementine choosing to go through a medical procedure to erase the memory of him from her mind. Joel, spiraling, decides to do the same. 

What unfolds is a non-linear story in which we realize the train meeting was at least their second meeting after being erased before. Joel panics during the procedure, and struggles to hold on to the memory of Clementine. Meanwhile, the people performing the procedure are defiling Joel’s home, stealing his things, having sex on his bed (with him on it), and eating off his sleeping body. One of the techs, Patrick (Elijah Wood) had already stolen some of Clementine’s underwear, and was using the recordings of Joel’s memories to instigate a new romance with recently-wiped Clementine. 

Eventually, Mary (Kirsten Dunst), realizes that the doctor (Tom Wilkinson), had previously erased her after they had an illicit affair, and she can’t help but think that her new boyfriend Stan (Mark Ruffalo) had to know (and likely performed the procedure). She sends all of the former patients their recordings, leaving Joel and Clementine to pick up the pieces of their broken relationship again. 

Honestly, I really loved the experience of this film (especially confirmation that Mark Ruffalo is packing). Finally getting a sci-fi film in this watch rotation was such a relief, and I was so glad to finally get a properly melancholic film after being so frustrated with Dear Dakanda (2005). After all these films about aspirational romance, I really loved a film unpacking the ugliness of trying to stay with someone and finding that maybe they weren’t exactly a good fit for you. I genuinely want to watch this film again to see what else I explore in it. 

Theory of Love Episode 6

Finally, I can properly regress to my Khai Hater era. Everyone else has already done a great job of detailing why Khai sucks so hard. I’m also less sympathetic to Third than I was last time, but I am still furious at Khai. Doing this to your friend that you now know harbors gay feelings for you is cruel to the extreme.

Last time I watched this show, I wasn’t grappling as hard with what it means to tell a story like this in the bubble. I think I was more forgiving because it was 2019 and we were still fairly early in the modern BL era. Now, in 2025, I can say more assuredly that Gun having a nonspecific queer experience makes this all deeply unsettling, and it’s likely a major contributing factor to why I hated Khai so much in my first watch. 

From within the bubble, this is just a huge romance foul. Khai is being a fucking idiot who thinks that some sort of major romantic disappointment can snap Third out of his crush and reset their relationship. He’s then disappointed when he realizes that he only succeeded in placing a huge barrier between him and his friend, and finds himself lonely when Third finally makes a healthy choice to work with other people. 

Now, heading into episode 7, I am not at all enthused or excited about Khai finding out he actually likes Third this late in the game. From outside of the bubble, it’s kind of interesting to see a straight guy realize how imporant his gay friend was after losing them, but the dissonance I’m feeling doesn’t leave me feeling in a great place. It also doesn’t help that the Bone and Two shit fucking sucks, and feels like it was there just to fill time this week. 

[collapsedsquid]

A few months ago, I bought a $60 toaster on Amazon that just would not heat up enough to toast bread. I wanted my money back. But repackaging the toaster and dropping it off at a post office seemed like too much of a hassle. So I did something slightly nefarious: I logged on to Amazon, opened the customer-service chat window, and told the outsourced worker on the other end that my toaster had never arrived. The agent apologized, asked zero follow-up questions, and immediately refunded me $60. I had committed a common, low-grade version of a type of fraud that has proliferated in recent years as massive online retailers flood the world with packages and offer customers frictionless returns. Often referred to simply as refunding, it involves finding ways to get money back for products people have not actually returned. A lot of refunding is perpetrated by sophisticated cybercriminals who trick retailers and shipping companies at scale, obtaining high-value products in bulk and reselling them online to customers who want watches, computers, or other expensive items for cheap. According to a December 2023 report from the National Retail Federation, retailers lost $101 billion from return fraud last year. Refunding first emerged alongside the early-2010s explosion in online retail and typically involved simple methods like buying items and claiming they never arrived (like my toaster). But as companies caught on, tactics evolved. In 2019, a fraudster who went by Bob published Bob’s Refunding eBook, which collected a number of methods that had been circulating on hacker forums and other underworld sites. (Nowadays, such tips circulate mostly on Telegram, the anonymous chat app on which much contemporary fraud is coordinated. The community is crass, like 4chan refitted for the zoomer mind: Refunding chat rooms with thousands of members host a flood of racist memes, slurs, cat GIFs, and extreme porn mixed in with advice on fraud methods.) Bob is credited in fraud circles with popularizing FTID — Fake Tracking ID, wherein the scammer returns an empty box to a retailer but edits the shipping label provided by the company to an address that is slightly different from the warehouse where returns are meant to go. The package gets scanned by, say, UPS when it’s picked up, allowing the customer to claim a refund, but it will never arrive at its destination.

New SBF just dropped

[sarahdawnsdesigns]

Welcome to January (and it's 2025 - it feels like only yesterday it was 2019!).  This month, since it's already been so grey and dull here, I really felt the need for something cozy and comforting, so, the knit-along and sale pattern for the month of January is the MacAskill Scarf!

Don't worry, if you don't have the pattern, it's 50% off through the month of January during the Knit-Along!

Plus, if you finish a cowl by the end of January, (don't worry, WIP's accepted!) you have the chance to win a Gift Card from KnitPicks (US/Canada only at the moment, sorry!) or 4 patterns of your choice from my web shop!

Other cool stuff to know:

The stitch pattern is both charted and written.

The pattern has a large-print version for folks who need it (this version also works with screen-reading tech)

It comes in one size, but you can easily make it longer or shorter if you want (the fringe is also optional, if fringe isn't your thing!)

Exact sizing: 3.5 inches (34.5 cm) by 55 inches (139.5 cm), not counting the fringe. It can easily be made longer or shorter as desired.

It uses 548 yards (501 metres) of heavy worsted or aran-weight yarn.

The pattern description is non-gendered, because scarves don't have a gender, and it doesn't matter what gender you are, too - anyone can knit (and wear!) a scarf if they want one!

Sample was knit in Knit Picks Wool of the Andes Superwash Bulky in "Fjord Heather" (link above is an affiliate link, I get a commission if you make a purchase, don't worry, there's no additional cost to you!)

If you're a Patron, you can download the pattern here

Anyway, you can find all the details about how to enter the Knit Along on the Pattern Page, and if you've got any questions, please, drop them on this post or in the Ask Box!

Good Luck, and Happy Knitting!