#20lbs

[mimosaapapi]

Been doing a lot of self-searching, healing and minding my damn business. We’re down 20lbs but I’m not stopping until my body looks like Michael B. Jordan’s! 🙏🏽🤎😭

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

[axgre23]

"The average human body has about 70,000 calories of fat stored" girl.... don't say that....

[femmefeedist]

that ask about your tummy being perceived before the obesity epidemic is so true

like pinching an inch used to be considered unacceptable for a woman your age

and its hard to find a part of your body that can't be pinched to grab more than an inch of flab

I guess this lazy bountiful modern age has really pampered you

I guess it started with an inch but things kinda got out of control and 20lbs later it's a full handfull and then some 🥵

🍀my links🍀

[the-mushroom-faerie]

Vala, after getting injured on a mission : I don't think I can walk to the gate

Daniel : fine *effortlessly picks her up*

Vala : O_O how are you doing that

Daniel : oh please, you only weigh like... five encyclopedias

Vala : note to self, scholars are built different

[softwaring]

i did not have enough room for the green beans and collards on this plate 🫡 proud of myself for making all this alone 😭

[mumblesplash]

the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger

[housecow]

would you show off your arms?

they’re not fat enough yet sorry 🥺

[mysterycubes]

dumb joke that’s been stuck in my head all week

[foldingfittedsheets]

Just wanted to let you know I love seeing all your stories (Fiction and Nonfiction!) on my dash, and I felt I needed to inform you, when I want to share one of your stories with my own beloved, I have to refer to you as "the Dildo Dimension™", as that was the first post of yours I read to them.

I’d rather be Dildo Dimension than Golden Nipple Milk.

[menlove]

the other thing too is that losing weight is NOT a neutral action in the same way that being fat is.

what do I mean by that?

well, it is morally neutral in that no one should be judging you for wanting to lose weight & wanting to lose weight does not make you a bad person

however. it's not a neutral action. in the same way that feminists critique the beauty industry and makeup and constantly get replies like "but I LIKE wearing makeup!!!!" that completely miss the point. that's sort of the same thing happening when fat activists/people that advocate for fat liberation point out the flaws in diet culture and get "but I NEED to lose weight for (xyz "good" reasons) are you saying I'm a bad person?" that completely miss the point.

in an ideal world, people could lose and gain weight without a single bat of an eye. but we don't live in that world. not only is it scientifically proven that most people CANNOT sustainably keep weight they've lost off (and no, not due to lack of self control) and that losing weight (especially rapidly) can have some huge health consequences, but, more relevantly, these ideas of weight and health and beauty are SO tangled up in fatphobia and western beauty standards that it's nigh impossible to reach some Enlightened State where your reason for weight loss is untouched by it.

you want to lose weight to "be healthier?" who told you you were unhealthy? was it your doctor? doctors that routinely suggest fat patients lose weight for every complaint ever including the common cold or a broken bone? was it society telling you being fat is unhealthy even though you ARE healthy? and if you're Not healthy, do you know for sure it's your weight? because thin people can also have high cholesterol and heart problems. there's other ways to fix these things that don't involve weight loss to dangerous degrees, but doctors are already so up their own ass about fat people that they probably didn't discuss anything with you other than "lose weight." does that mean no fat person ever is unhealthy because they're fat? no. but it Does mean that that reason is so tangled up in fatphobia that 100% stating you're free of diet culture when you say it just is Not accurate

you want to lose weight to "feel better about yourself"? well this one's easy and won't be as long as the last. why do you feel that way? who taught you that being fat is something to feel bad about? if you lived 500 years ago before diet culture, would you feel pressure to lose weight to feel better about yourself?

and none of this is to say you CAN'T chose to lose weight. it's your body. you can do whatever the fuck you want with it, good or bad. but when people talk about fatphobia and fat liberation and your first response is "oh but I'm losing weight for the GOOD reasons" stop yourself. ask if that's relevant to the conversation. ask yourself if those reasons ARE neutral. if they're tied to health, body image (including dysphoria!), or how other people perceive you? the answer is no

[tea-time-terrier]

Desperate times and all that.

There wasn't a blanket to curl up under so she tried to get under my knitting project (illegal) and settled for worming into the sweater I was wearing.

[blackbackedjackal]

If ya'll don't live around or see gray foxes a lot, I cannot begin to tell you how fucking jarring it is to see one climb a tree.

[esmeislewd]

I think it’s so hot you’ve been trying to diet but everyone can see you’ve only gotten bigger

I know~ Failed diets are just sooooooo hot!

There's just something about a person trying and claiming that they are going to eat less and workout more and just not being able to overcome their lazy gluttonous nature. One snack too many here, a cheat day a little too often there, skipping workouts because they were busy. It all seems small in isolation but together adds up to have some truly disastrous effects on their efforts to control their weight and they quickly start to spiral~

Repeated overeating stretching their stomach making them need more food to feel full, the added weight making exercise harder so they tire faster. That snowball of excuses keeps rolling down the hill picking up speed and mass until there's an avalanche of delicious fat pouring into them making them soft~

[maurypovichofficial2]

I DID 100 SQUATS TODAY! MY FIRST SET

[hongjoongdaily]

Happy Joong & Mingi Friday =)