#3:09pm

[dontlosemetoday]

Crying

[onismsys]

someone decided to claim lucid as a singular name for themself, when we chose it to represent everyone

cmon dude

[lunchcase]

Sakura Latte 

Location: Foody mart

Price: $4???? I don’t know I didn’t buy it

Unlike the other Sakura packet, this one comes in just one big packet of powder, so it’s up to the drinker’s discretion how much to put in (and thus, how strong the flavour). I have no idea how much is enough, so I eye ball’d it and put in 4.5 teaspoons. Guess I’ll find out!

It’s a soft pale pink!!!  it smells very - sweet, but in a way that reminds me of candy floss and carnivals and arcade floors. Grandma says it smells geeet which is kind of like. Tart, but not like a lemon. I think it’s an odd blend of natural and artificial. A flower they pass out at a festival. Plucked out of its roots at its prime, its scent preserved, handed to another, destined to wane and die.

I filled half the tea pot with water and the other half with evaporated milk - okay that might be too much, so I’m filling a quarter of evaporated milk, and the rest of 2% milk. Okay, as I was pouring that in, I realised that even a quarter of evaporated milk might be absurdly too much, so I stopped after a big gloop and filled up the pot to 80% full with milk. Grandma says it looks nothing like tea.

婆婆: this is milk 

Me: - tea! Milk tea! :)

婆婆: mmmm.

Oh wait yeah it’s a latte lol

You know, it didn’t occur to me until I finished making the whole pot, but maybe I shouldn’t have made an entire pot of something I’ve never tried before. Oh well! It’s my funeral. I put the “fuck around and find out” in “funeral”. Fu(ck)(arou)n(d)era(nd find out)l. It’s silent. Like all the vowels in french.

At the final stage of the process, I must admit this smells more like evaporated milk than it does Sakura, whatever that’s supposed to smell like. Here I go. It tastes like - again, what I expect Sakura would taste like? I think? It tastes like how Sakura looks like - pink, delicate, sweet, soft. Fragrant. Candy floss in a carnival, is where I always go back to. And given that I filled almost half this concoction with milk, there’s a soft, childlike glow to the whole carnival scene - it’s still a place that feels magical and fun and wonderful, instead of crowded and dirty and maybe breaks too many OSHA laws (workplace safety). It’s a warm, comforting anticipation.

Also the pouring tea part is very satisfying, as the milky texture glides out like silk. High recommend for that experience alone.

[moonshrewed]

thank god for humans, for who else will love and care for the albino species of the animal kingdom?

[i-cannot-think-of-anything16]

Bro Dbk is so fun to draw, I just tried it for fun and he's so fun to draw, his head is pretty much a rectangle so he's easy to do!

[luveline]

Would you write for Spencer with shy!reader? I feel like they'd be so cute together, neither of them would feel confident enough to make the first move until the team pushes them together probably

thank you for your request ♡ fem!reader

"Hi," Spencer says in a whisper. 

You look up, extremely relieved to see him, even if your tongue ties into tight knots whenever he's around. "Hi, Spencer. Is it only you?" 

Spencer takes the empty seat beside you. Your entire row at the back of the theatre is a line of unbroken, crimson velveteen, not a friend in sight.

"Yeah, I'm…" His lips quirk into a confused pout. "Not really sure where Garcia is. I was supposed to meet her on the way." 

"I was supposed to give Emily a ride, but she said Derek's bringing her instead." You rub your lips together, worried for your friends and feeling sorry for yourself; being alone with Spencer is agony, you like him that much. Sheepish, you hold out your popcorn bucket. "Popcorn?" 

It's huge to account for Emily and her light fingers. Spencer laughs under his breath, hurrying out of his jacket to take a handful. "Think you'll have enough?" he teases. 

You tuck your arms in tight from the rests so as not to touch him. His phone pings, drawing his bright eyed smile down to his lap. He clicks through the page and then leans over to show you what he's been sent. 

Hey garcia, I'm outside your apartment. :) 7:32PM

Spencer!! Going to be late!! Go without me, I'll catch up! <3 :) 7:33PM

I'm heading into the movies now, unless you want me to wait? 7:46PM

No, Y/N's in there go find her and save our seats!! 7:46PM

Then, another from Garcia. 

Change of plans Spencer, I can't come anymore Kevin threw out his back!! Give Y/N a hug for me :D. 8:09PM

You'll miss Penelope, but surely Derek and Emily are on their way. You frown at Spencer, as if to say, That sucks. The lights go down and the trailers start rolling, and things aren't as awkward as you imagined. Spencer whispers half facts and half jokes with his face inclined to yours, his breath warm where it kisses your ear. You giggle at him and, with startled pleasure, realise that anyone looking might think you were on a date. It's shameful how much you like that hypothetical. 

Your phone dings in your pocket. 

hey babe, me n Derek got waylaid by two hot blondes. be there as soon as we can ♡ 7:56PM

You're not nearly as scared to receive it as you thought. "Spence," you whisper, showing him your phone. 

He snorts. "Typical. Well, we'll be alright without them, yeah? I'll go get us some drinks and stuff before the movie starts." You dig for your purse, Spencer waves his hand. "I got it." 

He gets your favourite. You don't even have to tell him what you want. Your hands touch as he passes you your drink. You're about to say thanks, but the screen turns black before the movie title and age rating fills the screen. 

It only takes Spencer a solid forty minutes to work up the courage to take your hand. Eyes pinned to the screen, you let your fingers relax under his, his palm to the back of your hand and his fingers twining between yours. 

He leans over, and you think for sure he has a fact to tell you, some tidbit about the movie or how it was made. "Is this okay?" he whispers. You can hardly hear him. 

You turn your face, meeting his eyes in the dark. "Yeah. It's okay." 

He smiles (dreamily, so dreamily) and turns back to the movie. You do the same, the two of you wearing twin grins, his hand a steadying warmth. His thumb rubs the side of your pinky finger softly. 

From a row much further down, Emily hisses. "It's my turn with the binoculars." 

"They're holding hands!" Penelope croons. 

Derek looks up from the mouthful of nachos he'd been enjoying. "What? Let me see?" he says, snatching the binoculars from Penelope's hand.

"Twenty dollars says they kiss by the end of the night." 

"As if." 

"It's my turn!" 

[bibibuck]

after buck and eddie get together, eddie starts giving buck absentminded kisses all the time.

kiss on the forehead after he passes him his morning coffee. kiss on the cheek while buck is cooking dinner. kiss on the back of his hand as buck drives them to bobby’s house for a family bbq. kiss on top of his head while they cuddle watching a documentary. kiss on his shoulder while they sit on the station couch reading in between calls.

but buck’s favorite kisses? the ones edde blows him from a distance. when no one is looking during a call and they have to separate, buck doing evac and eddie treating some minor burns. when buck is pulling out of the their driveway to go meet maddie and jee for lunch and eddie sees him off from the front porch. during their family night out at the movies with chris in between them before the action film their son chose and they’re both probably going to hate begins.

every single blown kiss is always followed by eddie mouthing “i love you” at him, and every single time buck feels himself start to blush, the butterflies in his stomach staging a very chaotic and uncoordinated flash mob.

there’s something so exhilarating about knowing that no matter how close or far away they physically are eddie always wants to be kissing him. like eddie knows just as well as buck does that his lips were always meant to graze buck’s skin and leave behind goosebumps for hours to come.

even when they can’t see each other at all, buck knows eddie is thinking about it too because eddie does not go more than 3 hours without sending him little 😘 emojis. he doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t contextualize them because he doesn’t need to. it's just random 😘 throughout the day, scattered in between the rest of their texts.

buck [3:33pm]: got caught in traffic, chris and i will be there soon! eddie [3:33pm]: ok, hen and denny just arrived eddie [6:03pm]: 😘

&

eddie [11:27am]: can you write “chris dentist appointment” on the kitchen calendar for 10/17? buck [11:31am]: done! eddie [11:32am]: thanks, baby eddie [2:16pm]: 😘

&

buck [10:08am]: we also need eggs! buck [11:43am]: remind me to replace the lightbulb in chris’s bedside lamp eddie [1:14pm]: 😘 eddie [3:09pm]: your amazon package just arrived buck [3:09pm]: yaaaaaaay eddie [7:24pm]: 😘

&

eddie [6:02am]: 😘 eddie [8:56am]: 😘 eddie [9:07am]: 😘 eddie [12:31pm]: 😘 buck [3:17pm]: 😘😘😘

[muniimyg]

4: the cold // series m.list

note: reblogging w fic taglist cos the limit is annoying n my posts keep glitching </3 sorry for the long wait! i literally finished c2u and was working on c2u's extras as well as attempting to keep my life together LOL . this jk is literally GETTING INTO IT YUHHH . hope everyone is enjoying the story ,, i'm so excited for the rest ! we're halfway thru :( if u missed aao jk ,, lmk ur fave moment of his as of now huhuhuuuu

taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “aao” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar @jkslvsnella @parkinglot-nights @kissyfacekoo

//

Picture this. 

Jungkook sent you a text, claiming to be sick. He said:

jungkook (liar) 3:09PM: no fr i get so dizzy standing up lol

jungkook (liar) 3:09PM: deadass i’m wearing like 7 layers and i’m chilly af .. need the warmth of ur arms, baby 🙏🏼

jungkook (liar) 3:10PM: do u think u can come by w some medicine? i’d owe u like… my whole heart

jungkook (liar) 3:10PM: nvm gave that to u already 😘✋🏽

Your natural response to his concerning text messages was to call him. When you called to check up on him, you noted how he coughed at every perfect pause... How his voice was toned groggy with a hint of pathetic. 

Just as pathetic as his lie. 

Does he think you're dumb? Fine. Two can play this game.

The second Jungkook opens the door and is greeted by his friends, grinning goofily with alcohol in their hands—he feels the urge to shut the door at their face. “Ah, for fucks sake—”

“Not so fast!” Hobi squeals as he grabs your wrists and tugs you from the back of the crowd to the front. Offering you to Jungkook, Hobi winks, “I believe this belongs to you.”

Jungkook’s eyes soften at the sight of you.

Lowering his head, he purses his lips for a kiss. You blink at him, letting him stand there like a fool. A few of his friends chuckle at the rejection, but it doesn’t dishearten Jungkook. Instead, he lifts his head and carries on. 

Hey, the kiss was worth a shot. 

With a patient tone, he tries to talk this out. “I thought it was just going to be you coming over...”

Shrugging at him, you answer; “And I thought you were sick.” 

"Well, what can I say? I always feel better whenever you're around." Jungkook chides.

Unimpressed, you tsk at him. “Nice try, buddy.”

Your hunch was right.

Jungkook wasn't sick.

There was no eye bag in sight, no cough to be heard, and with the short amount of time it took him to answer the door; he doesn't seem dizzy at all. If anything, he looks freshly showered and prepared.

For a sick man, his 5PM fit was rather suggestive. He's wearing jeans, and a white wife beater with an off-white button-up unbuttoned. He must know he's hot, right? He wore this on purpose.

"A little dressed up for someone who should be pretending to be sick..." you poke his chest.

Jungkook grins, instantly shrugging his button-up off. "Oh, my bad. Here, I'll undress and—"

"Jungkook!" you gasp as you tug his button-up back on. "Your friends are here! Don't be so shameless—"

"Whose fault is that?" he laughs. "___, was I not clear when I asked for you? You. Not the circus.”

“Hey!” Nam Joon cries from the crowd. “Are you calling me a clown?”

Jungkook lifts his head and shakes it. Smiling at his hero, he assures Nam Joon; “Not you, hyung. I love you.”

Earning a few laughs, the moment ends when Jin interrupts and pushes past you. Jungkook places his arm in front of your body, gently moving you against the wall. He shoots Jin a glare but Jin doesn't seem to catch on. He makes one final comment before inviting himself into Jungkook's home; “Stop sucking Joon's dick and let us in!”

As his friends cheer and begin to invade his home, you stand still and laugh at them hustling in. As they make random remarks, Jungkook warns them not to touch certain things in his living room and that his bedroom is off-limits. Walking in, his friends can't help but feel out of place when they spot the homecooked meal Jungkook prepared for you two. The table is all set up. The projector is ready to go in the living room corner, accompanied by the ever so comfy set up of pillows and fuzzy blankets on the couch… The fuzzy blanket on the couch that Taehyung and Hobi have now wrapped themselves in.

Yeah..

Jungkook did not see this coming. He groans at the very sight. His plans were ruined.

Once Jimin gets his little ass inside, you take that as your cue to head in. You duck under Jungkook's arm and just as you think you’re about to get away—he stops you. He takes a step back and swoops his other arm around your waist.

“Not so fast.”

You huff. “Okay. I’ll walk in slow motion—”

“___…” Jungkook says in a warning tone. “Yah, I said I was sick and you show up here with my friends?”

You poke his chest. “I had a feeling you were up to no good. I brought reinforcement.”

For the most part, Jungkook likes to think he has you figured out. Then, you pull shit like this and he is completely tongue-tied.

Jungkook can’t help but applaud your move. It’s petty and nonchalant… It’s well played. Yet, he feels bittersweet at the very realization that you’ve outsmarted him so early on. 

To be fair, his main moves are centered around lies. 

… Is it so wrong that he thought he could at least get one last good lie before facing the truth?

The truth is that he has grown to like you so much he has completely lost control of his words and thoughts. Every time he’s around you—that’s it. That’s the entire moment. That’s his entire world. He doesn’t know how to keep it that way, you know? He hasn’t figured out how to freeze time and just be with you. So, he lies. He lies in an attempt to make the moment last just a second longer. 

He knows he could have you with a simple conversation and his bunny smile. He knows he’s kindhearted and would be a great boyfriend if you let him… He’s just having a hard time navigating through all the feelings. They consume him faster and fiercer than he expected. The only way to keep up is to keep you near, and the only way to keep you near is to keep making excuses. 

Thus, this week’s excuse. 

He huffs at you. "A home-cooked meal, a movie on my projector, and comfy blankets... Means I'm up to no good? Come on, ___. This is ridiculous!"

"You've been so mischievous ever since—"

"It was just the ice skating thing!" Jungkook defends himself.

"It was also the pocky thing—"

His eyes light up. Jungkook’s lips curve into a smirk. "Ah... Thinking about our kiss, huh?"

Now you feel sick.

Was he serious? How does he do this to you? He says everything so bluntly and out of pocket, your tummy has no choice but to flip upside down and feel all the butterflies flutter.

"N-no!" you panic.

"Pucker up and prove me wrong," Jungkook insists, shutting his eyes and pursing his lips at you. "Like you said, I'm not sick. Kissing me won't get you sick—love sick, maybe..."

You cross your arms at him.

"Jungkook."

Opening his eyes one at a time, he puts his hands up and lets you go. He'll admit defeat here. Clearly, you aren't happy with his moves...

He'll try this.

He'll try honesty.

“___," he smiles, attempting to lighten the mood. "Hey, I was trying to—”

“Flirt?” you finish his sentence. “Yeah, sure… Has it ever occurred to you that you can flirt with me without lying?”

His eyes widen. 

“Does it bother you that much?” He asks, feeling like he is completely messed up. “I’m sorry, baby. I thought it was harmless—”

You shake your head, denying his accusation. It was deeper than that. It is the principal and the root of his lying being a habit in your relationship.

“It’s not that it bothers me that much… It's just... Y-you don't have to do all this, you know? I like getting to know you, but it feels like it's impossible. You keep setting up scenarios for yourself to look good in or for me to take care of you in. I'd do it regardless if you're hurt or not. You know that, right?"

"I do," Jungkook agrees. "I just..."

You look at him with sincere eyes. "Jungkook, I'm just not understanding... Why? It’s just weird to me that you were so confident and honest when you confessed. To be honest, I really admire that part of you. B-but now that you’re… That w-we’re…. Uhmm—it's different. You're acting differently. You can flirt with me all you want. It's whatever... But maybe try something else? I'm tired of you lying, Jungkook.”

He gulps.

"You want honesty?" Jungkook begins. "Here it is... I like you too much. Like, so much that I don't know what to do with myself whenever you're around—not to mention it's even worse when you're not. I want your attention. All the time. Everything about me for everything about you."

"Jungkook—"

"Can you wait for me?" He asks you unexpectedly. "Wait for me to get it right... Because I know I can. I will get it right."

When you two join everyone inside, Jungkook’s apartment is filled with so much chaos it’s difficult for him not to A) partake and B) be upset about everyone crashing his date night (by ambush). 

Honestly, Jungkook’s been pretty busy lately. He’s been neglecting his social life as school, work, and you (not that he’s complaining) have been taking over. In a way, he finds it sweet that you ruined his plans with yours. Especially since you came in with all his friends. It was a nice surprise. He will definitely take note of your sneaky ways too. 

By the time everyone gets hungry, there’s barely any space for anyone to eat. Some friends are sitting on the floor, eating off the coffee table or parts of the couch. Others are eating standing up, and the rest crowd over his tiny kitchen island and dining table. There are a few girls you’ve invited here and just as usual, you all went to the bathroom together. As you all enter back into the scene, there is absolutely no space. 

“___!” Jin calls you over. “Eat with us.”

You look at the girls and exchange laughs. They tease you before pushing to towards the dining table. As you approach, you realize there’s barely space let alone a seat. Without much thought, you gravitate towards Jungkook who is sitting and eating. Squeezing your way through, he notices you and nods towards Hobi. Hobi then responds by handing you a plate of food Jungkook set aside for you. Taking the plate, you thank Hobi. Jungkook then pushes his chair back and just as he’s about to get up from his seat to give to you—

“No, it’s okay. Sit.” You insist. 

“But you don’t have a seat—”

Then, it happens so naturally.

You place your plate on the table next to his and take a seat on his lap. When you do this, all the boys exchange looks but say nothing. Their eyes almost pop out of their head and Hobi even chokes on his food. He tries to hide it and turns away so you don’t think twice about it. They’re all aware of how shy you are and this? This was a big thing for Jungkook that they couldn’t ruin. You were finally coming out of your shell.

Thank god.

Meanwhile, Jungkook feels winded. 

He can’t believe this. 

He can’t believe you.

But given the circumstances… He might just have to. So, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he smiles at you warmly and tells you that he put all your favourites on your plate. He tells you to eat everything and that he ordered strawberry bingsoo for dessert. 

“I love strawberries!” you gasp. Looking up, you bat your eyelashes and tease him, “yah, you make it too obvious you have a crush on me… You know that?” 

Jungkook squints at you, followed by scrunching his nose. You lean against his forehead and mimic his little stare. 

It takes everything in him to not lean in and kiss you.

Slowly but surely, everyone leaves. The only ones left are you, Jungkook, and the other 6 clowns. Yoongi and Jin went out to start the cars while Joon, Taehyung, Jimin, and Hobi finished up taking the trash out or washing the dishes. 

You and Jungkook are tidying the living room. He thanks you for organizing the little get-together and apologizes again for lying to you about being sick. You tell him it wasn’t that serious—it was just built-up confusion and frustration. Further, you tell him that you don’t want him to see you as someone that he has to jump through hoops to spend time with. You tell him you want it too. You want to spend time with him too. You want to get to know him too. 

You want to fall in love—

"I can do that," Jungkook nods, understanding where you're coming from. Your thoughts are interrupted as he fluffs the final pillow and grabs your hands. He squeezes them and then lets go. "But only if you stop being so oblivious. At least try, you know? It's hard for me too. Like, we're dating and I'm trying to woo you and shit—"

Dating?

Woo you?

Shit.

Your heart skips a beat.

"Wait," you pause. "Jungkook, a-are we dating?”

Just when he opens his mouth to speak, Hobi interrupts. 

“___, let’s go! Jin wants to race Yoongi!” 

Jungkook blinks at Hobi. “You’re not racing when ___’s in the car. Are you mad?”

Hobi lifts his hands. “Shit man, I’m just the messenger!”

Without skipping a beat, Jungkook turns to you with stern eyes. “I’ll drive you home.”

You decline. “You’re already home. Relax, it’s Jin. He’s all talk and no bite.”

“___…”

As a compromise, you promise him; “I’ll ride in Yoongi’s car.”

He thinks about it for a moment. Then, he realizes he has no other practical choice. “Fine. At least if you guys do race, you’ll be in the winning car.”

Hobi coughs. “Yo, what the fuck? I’m riding in Jin’s.”

You laugh and tell Hobi you’ll meet them out the door in a second. Hobi leaves immediately, yelling at Jimin to trade spots with him so he can ride with Yoongi. Once he’s out the door, Jungkook’s apartment falls in silence. 

“.... I better get going,” you breathe. “I’ll see you around?”

Scanning his apartment, you smile at the sight of everything being tidy. Picking up your feet, you head towards the door. Like a sad puppy, Jungkook trails behind you.

As you head out, Jungkook feels an urge in his stomach to make this moment last longer. “Oh... S-sure. See you at the library tomorrow?”

“You hate the library.”

“No, I don’t—”

“It’s also Saturday tomorrow.”

Jungkook blinks at you. “I love spending my Saturdays in the library.”

Giggling at his awful attempt, you remind him, “hey, we just talked about you and your fibs—”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jungkook surrenders. He puts his hands up and tilts his head. Pouting as you put your shoes on, he continues to ramble. “See what I mean? I say the wildest things just to be with you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you say, plopping back up. Jungkook then helps you put your jacket on and gives you your tote bag. “Whatever you say, liar.”

He rolls his eyes at you. As you open the door, you face him with a silly face. He ruffles your hair as he bids his farewell, “Goodnight. Text me when you get home, baby.” 

Then, just like that, the door shuts and Jungkook is all alone.

As he turns away and finally feels like he can catch his breath after everything that happened between you two tonight, he hears the door knock. Turning back, he reaches for the doorknob, opens the door, and sees you standing there. 

“Did you forget something?”

“Goodnight kiss.”

He draws a blank. 

“What—”

Jungkook’s heart skips a beat as you tiptoe and reach for the nape of his neck and pull him close. Leaning in, you press your lips against him and kiss him softly. Without hesitating, he kisses you back and chases your lips the second you pull away. 

You pull away too fast for his liking.

“Okay, goodnight—”

He kisses you again, deepening it as much as he can. When you pull away to catch your breath, he sneaks in one last kiss. Then, he kisses your cheeks and turns you around. Before sending you off, he teases you one last time. 

“Go away. I hate you.”

Laughing at his words, you realize that sometimes—they aren’t so bad.

Him and his lies.

You and your reading in between lines.

[lovingmattysposts]

You don't know me 31

P1 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P32

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you and chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.

warnings: suggestive (barley), family drama

I swallowed. I stared at the door as my heart raced back and forth. This was scarier than the first time I came here. I shrugged the bag over my shoulder.

I had no where else to go.

If he didn't let me stay here, I would have to sleep on the street. What if everything was fake and I just imagined it? What if he was ready to be a father, but me showing up with all my shit in the middle of the night would just freak him out?

Hi Dad, I know we just met last week but...can I stay here until further notice?

I didn't know how Nate was going to react. He already felt like I was intruding and now I was physically intruding. I whined as I looked down at my feet, fear and doubt creeping in.

"Don't freak out, Don't freak out. You're fine" I breathed.

If Chris was here I would have just stayed at his house until I worked up the courage to make this step. But Chris wasn't here. He was flying back tomorrow...hopefully. I didn't know. I still haven't heard from him.

More doubt creeped in.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket.

To Chris: 9:35am

Did you sleep okay?

To: Chris 3:09pm

I hope your day’s going good. How is everything with your parents?

To Chris: 7:08pm

I love you

I swallowed turning my phone off and shoving it into my pocket. He's busy. He hasn't been home in almost three years. You're overthinking. He still loves you.

I shook the thoughts out of my mind. One problem at a time Y/n. I shurgged the bag again to keep it from falling. The bag was getting heavy. I had to make a decision soon. Either knock on the door, or sleep on the park bench.

I let out a breath as I walked up to the front door. It was late. Past 12. I didn't know what time James went to bed. Hell, I barely knew anything about him.

I closed my eyes as I raised my fist, knocking. I shifted back on my feet. I looked around, my heart beating out of my chest. I just stood there as the silence came.

"Come on, please" I whispered to myself as I knocked again harder. I tapped my foot against the mat as I waited some more. I almost gave up before I heard a lock turn. I snapped my head up as the door opened.

Please don't be Nate. Please don't be Nate.

I let go of a breath when I saw James.

His eyes full of shock when they landed on me. It looked like I had woken him up, from his sleepy state. The last person he excepted to knock on his door right now was probably me.

"I heard you like the stars" I forced as smile but the tears welded in my eyes as I spoke. His face softened as he saw me start to cry.

"Sweetheart" He breathed opening the door all the way before I pushed forwards dropping my bag and running into his arms in full on sobs.

-

The light flicked on and I looked around. I spun as I looked around. Smaller than my old room, but still perfect all the same. James set down my bag with a thud.

"Is this all you brought?" He asked glancing down at the bag. I left in a rush, I didn't grab anything that didn't have meaning to me in the moment. My hair supplies, shampoo, skincare, and most of my shoes left behind.

I wrapped my arms around myself. "Yeah I--I guess I should have grabbed more stuff" I whispered, suddenly feeling guilty because everything I didn't have, I would have to borrow from him. He wasn't necessarily swimming in money like Scott.

He shook his head. "We'll get you what you need" He nodded. I looked up at him and shook my head. "It's okay. I can...manage" I mumbled. He smiled and tilted his head.

"Do you want to use Nate's three in one shampoo?" He asked smiling. My eyes widened. I think my hair would curl up and fall off. He let out a chuckle once he saw my reaction.

I sighed as I sat down on the bed. The exhaustion of the day washing over me. James stepped towards me before sitting down next to me.

"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked softly. I took in a breath as I forced myself to spill everything that happpend a few hours ago at the dinner table. Once I was done, I felt even more humiliated than I did in the moment.

James pressed his closed hands to his face as we sat there.

"I know it's a lot and if you aren't prepared to take me in---I can totally understand that. I can get a hotel, I have some of my trust fund I can tap into--"

"No, you're staying here" He shook his head glancing at me. "I just--" He shook his head. "Clara must be..." He took in a breath. "A completely different person now" He said looking down at his shoes.

I just watched him. I almost saw the heartbreak in his eyes. The last hope gone of any good that might have been left in my mother. It broke my heart.

"I guess she was never the same without you" I mumbled. I didn't know if it was the right thing to say, but I just said it anyway. He didn't react to my statement as he stood off the bed. I just watched him.

"I bought a three bedroom house for a reason" He stated looking down at me with a small smile. I let the corners of my mouth curl up. "Do you want to stay with me....like full time?" He asked hesitantly. I blinked at him.

I nodded with a small smile. I really didn't have another option, but that didn't matter. My heart grew as I felt the warmth of this home. It felt like a home. Something I never felt before.

"You can pick out some stuff online that you want in your room. I know it's bland right now. I'm sure there's some stuff you would like to hang up" He glanced around.

I shook my head. "I just want the stars from my bag" I motioned. He glanced down at the bag before looking up at me.

"But a few poster and maybe some flowers wouldn't hurt?” I said glancing around. “Nothing super expensive I promise" I shook my head. He smiled and shook his head.

"Go to bed" He chuckled shaking his head. I smiled before kicking off my shoes. He turned and made his way towards the door.

"Dad?" I breathed. He froze for a second, from the obvious unuse of the nickname, but turned and looked at me. "What about Nate? Is he gonna be angry?" I whispered. He blinked at me before he shook his head.

"Let me worry about Nate. I'm not leaving you out on the street because Nate's mad" He smiled shaking his head. I smiled before nodding as he exited the room.

-

"She doesn't have anywhere else to stay?"

I froze at the stop of the staircase, as my hand gripped the railing.

"Nate, she's your sister. She's staying with us. End of discussion" James snapped. I stepped down, the creaking from the step stopping the voices. I peeked my head into view and they were both looking at me.

"Good morning" James smiled brightly. I smiled softly before looking over to Nate. He rolled his eyes before looking back down at the plate in front of him. I swallowed as I hesitantly walked over to them.

"You're all prettied up, where are you off to?" James said noticing my outfit and makeup and the fact that it was only 8am. I cracked my knuckles as I stood there.

"Uhm" I cleared my throat. "The airport, Chris is suppose to fly in today" I nodded. Nate looked up at me. James raised his eyebrows. "Suppose to?" He asked. I nodded.

"His flight’s suppose to. I just don't know if he'll be on it" I felt the clench in my chest. I looked down at my feet as the nerves crept in. "He hasn't talked to me since he left" I whispered, not even knowing if they could hear me. If I'm being honest it was embarrassing to admit.

"Has he called you Nate?" James asked looking down at him. Nate looked up before he shook his head. I nodded. Okay, that made me feel a little bit better.

"I'm going with Dan to the airport, and he's about to be here...So, I'll leave you guys be" I nodded at them as I walked towards the front door still hearing the pounding in my ears from my heart racing.

-

Dan was waiting in the car as my eyes scanned everyone that exited the terminal. I tapped my foot against the ground. "Come on Chris" I whispered to myself, earning some concerned glancing from those rolling past me with suitcases.

I gave them a nervous smile when we made awkward eye contact. I swallowed as I moved my vision around people.

Please have gotten on the plane.

I took in a breath and looked down at my feet. If he didn't get on the plane, Y/n you have to be okay. You will have to be okay. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I snapped my head back up, searching the crowd.

I looked down at my phone. No new messages sent or recieved since Friday. I sighed and shoved my phone into my pocket as the people thinned. There weren't that many exiting anymore.

If he doesn't show. You have to be okay.

I glanced up before seeing a boy with light brown hair round the corner. My heard dropped before his head turned to me and I saw his icey blue eyes. I felt myself jerk forward but I froze myself.

Don't act too excited to see him. Don't be that girlfriend. Don't sway his decision.

I swallowed and gave him a small smile befroe planting my feet. He stood there and just looked at me for a second before smiling and walking slowly over to me. I felt my heart beat against my chest with every step he took.

My mind screaming. He's here. He's here. He's here. He came back.

He paused right in front of me.

"How was the flight?" I whispered. He dropped his bag next to him before bending down and picking me up off the ground and wrapping his arms around my back, pressing his face into my neck.

"I missed you" He breathed, leaving my other question unanswered as I hovered off the ground from his embrace. I melted against him as I wrapped my arms around his neck as he hugged me.

"I missed you" I breathed. He held me for a few more seconds before placing me back on the ground and pressed his hands to my face. I smiled up at him.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. He smiled before nodding and pressed his lips to mine. "I'm okay" He whispered against my lips making my cheeks pink.

"Okay" I mumbled back with a smile. He pulled back before leaning down and picking up his bag and grabbing my hand and interlacing our fingers.

"You missed a lot" I mumbled looking in front of me as I drug him towards the exit. He glanced down at me. "I was gone for 2 and a half days. How much could I have possibly missed?" He chuckled. I glanced up at him and he stared down at me.

"You have no idea"

-

"James" Chris nodded at my father. James narrowed his eyes at him. Chris looked from me to him. "What are your intentions with my daughter?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Dad" My eyes went wide. Chris chuckled next to me and looked up at James. "James, you've known me since I was 16" Chris smiled. James looked unimpressed.

"It's Mr. Doe to you" He said. Chris rolled his eyes as he reached down and pulled me into him. "Oh, alright" He chuckled, his arms snaking around my waist. I smiled as I laid my head against his chest, taking in his scent that I missed so much.

Chris's embrace hasn't left me since he saw me in the airport. At least one ounce of his skin had to be touching mine, and if it wasn't he fixed it immediately.

I haven't had the chance to ask him what went down in Boston yet. He hasn't said anything, and If i'm honest? I'm scared to provoke him on it. I don't know if I even want to know.

James glanced down to his arm around me before looking back up at Chris.

"I don't like you"

"James, you love me"

He glanced between us.

"Then I don't like this" He motioned between us. I chuckled pressing my face into Chris's chest.

"Now you know how I feel" Nate mumbled from the kitchen table. Chris's eyes glanced over to him before I felt his embrace leave mine.

I accepted it, even though selfishly, I wanted to pull his arm back and whine like a child. But, I held my composure.

I missed my boyfriend. I hadn't seen him in days.

Nate's eyes followed Chris's until he was standing next to him.

"Get up" Chris stated down at him. Nate glared at him. "What?" He mumbled. Chris smiled and pulled out his keys. "Get up, and give me a hug" Chris chuckled. Nate's face twisted.

"We don't hug" Nate shook his head. Chris reached down before pulling him out of his seat and pulling him into a hug. Nate struggled before accepting it and softly patting Chris's back.

I looked up at my dad before smiling.

"I'm wondering who's really dating Chris sometimes" I whispered, making James chuckle. Nate heard us before pushing off Chris and shaking his head.

"Alright, we're gonna head out" Chris stated looking at me and James. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where are we going?" I asked. Chris smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Not you, Me and Nate. We're going to the rink" Chris smiled down at me. Nate's eyebrows furrowed. "What?" Nate asked. Chris turned and jinggled his keys.

"You coming or not?" Chris asked. Nate froze for a second before he smiled. "Y-Yeah let me just get my sticks" He smiled before pushing off the table and walking towards the stairs. I smiled as I finally saw Nate in a happy mood as he walked up the steps.

I looked up at Chris raising my eyebrows before he rolled his eyes and leaned down, pressing his lips to my ear.

"Give me a few hours and I promise you won't be able to get rid of me even if you tried" He whispered. I felt a blush come across my face and I smiled up at him nodding.

I trusted him. He needed to sort things out with Nate, first and foremost. I got that.

I looked up at my dad who was still glaring at Chris.

"James! My man, do we have to do this whole I'm-dating-your-daughter-thing now? Or can we go back to I-drink-beer on-your-back-porch-bros kinda dynamic?" He smiled placing his hand on my dad's shoulder.

"You do what?"

"I'm ready!" Nate announced from the top steps. I muffled a laugh as he raced down the steps like a kid on Christmas. Chris leaned off James and walked towards the door.

"I'll be over later my love" He kissed my cheek. I smiled and waved him off.

"No you won't" James glared at him as Chris smiled and winked at him and Nate and him made his way to the front door. I let out a breath as the door closed.

"Are you on birth control?"

My eyes widened as I looked back to my dad. "What?" I breathed my face turning red as he looked down at me. He let out a breath and closed his eyes as he walked off.

"I don't like this. I do not like this" He mumbled as he walked down the hall.

-

A few hours later, Nate and Chris came back. Sweaty.

I tried not to drool too hard over it in front of Nate because I don't want him to be any more uncomfortable than he already is from the fact that I'm dating his best friend.

"Hi" Chris smiled as he opened the door, freshly showered. "Hi" I smiled as he walked out of bathroom and down to where I was standing in the hallway.

He reached down before grabbing my hips and pressing his lips to mine. I smiled as I kissed him back passionatly.

"Can I not be safe in my own house anymore?" Nate's voice rang as he stepped out of his room. We broke apart and turned to look at Nate from the sound of his voice.

I chuckled as Chris bent down, wrapping his arms around me and burring his face into my neck, smiling.

"Have you met my friend Sydney? She's newly single" I sang looking at Nate. He rolled his eyes. "I have and she's exactly like you, i'm not interested." He growled.

Chris lifted his head. "You only said that because she's taller than you" Chris chuckled. Nate glared at him. "I'll tell her you said she's hot" I smiled at Nate.

"No! Don't" Nate snapped. I raised my eyebrows and looked up at Chris. Chris smiled. "Someone's got a crush" Chris mumbled.

"No I don't! You guys are ugh-" He stopped off and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door. Chris and I laughed before he let go of me and dragged me into my room.

I smiled as he closed the door. I reached up, running my hands through his hair. "You smell good" I whispered. He smiled. "Yeah?" He whispered. I nodded as I leaned up and pressed my lips to his softly.

The door swung open.

I pulled away and stepped back from Chris.

"This door stays open when he's here" My dad stared back at me. My eyes widened and I nodded as he opened the door slightly. He narrowed his eyes at Chris.

"Aw come on James. You don't trust me?" Chris smiled. James glared at him. "I trust you as much as I trusted myself at your age. The door stays open" James let go of the handle and stepped back. Chris rolled his eyes.

"We'll just have to start going to my house" Chris whispered.

"I heard that" James's voice rang through the hallway. My eyes widened and I hit Chris's chest.

"Chris. You can't make him hate me" I mumbled. Chris rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand pulling me over to my bed.

"He can't hate you, you're his daughter" He chuckled as we both fell against the bed. I sighed. "Well, don't make him hate you" I stated. Chris rolled his eyes.

"He couldn't hate me if he tried" He smiled confidently. I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Plus Nate brings girls over here all the time, he never makes him leave the door open" Chris shook his head.

"I'm his daughter, it's different"

"It's still sex"

"I don't---" I cringed. "I don't want to imagine my brother having sex, please stop" I shook my head. He smiled and grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him.

"I really missed you" He whispered staring down at me. I smiled and leaned my head against the pillow.

Did I want to ask about what happened in Boston? I think he could see the discomfort on my face, because he sighed.

"I'm sorry I ignored you when I was in Boston. I just-" He shook his head. I squeezed his hand. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Chris. I understand" I whispered. He shook his head.

"You deserve an explaination" He stated. I swallowed and nodded. He laid down looking up at my ceiling and smiled, lifting his arm.

"You brought the stars" He pointed out. I smiled down at him.

"It was the first thing I grabbed"

He turned his head and looked at me.

God, we had a lot to talk about.

[cheriskindaclueless]

can you make a smut about matt and y/n having phone sex

DIAL ---- ౨ৎ 𝓂𝒶𝓉𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒾ℴ𝓁ℴ

---- ౨ৎ matthew sturniolo x fem!reader

✩ cw ---- phone sex, profanity, use of y/n, brief sexting/sending nudes, degration kink, super short, no orgasm

✩ synopsis ---- request !

✩ a/n ---- thank you for the request :))

0.3k words.

-------- ✩ --------

you ; 3:09pm

matt

matt ; 3:12pm

what's up baby

im in a meeting

*you sent an attatchment*

matt ; 3:14pm

y/n

you ; 3:14pm

just one minute

please

matt ; 3:14pm

mhm

-------- ✩ --------

it took less than a minute for you too pick your phone back up, finding an incoming facetime from your boyfriend. you almost immediately answered the call, his clearly pissed off expression filling the screen. he was in the bathroom, as he hurriedly escaped his meeting.

he wasnt looking at his phone, as he was holding it with one hand. showing off awkward angles as he tried unzipping his jeans with one hand. mumbling nonsense to himself, before looking into the camera. "i don't know what you're thinking," his voice was husky as he looked away again. "i'm in a fucking meeting and you send a picture like that."

your lips were already parted as you dropped your hands between your thighs. his voice was enough to get you even more worked up then you were just mere seconds before.

"matt i couldn't wait," you whimpered. staring into the camera as you longed for his touch.

he looks into the camera, his phone shaking and lewd noises bouncing through your speaker as he takes his hand to his cock. "i know baby," he mumbles. "what a fucking slut."

you start slowly pumping your fingers into your cunt, "fuck matty-" you moaned, squeezing your eyes closed. "i can't-"

"can't what, hm?" he hums, cutting you off. "can't wait five minutes?"

theres nothing you can do but shake your head, you were struggling to get to the point that you know your boyfriend can.

matts head drops back, touching the white bathroom tile as his mouth falls open. as much as he refuses to admit it, he was enjoying this. "god..." his voice trails off, shutting his eyes as he pumps his dick with his hand.

"matty i need you-" you moaned, growing restless when you can't get yourself off.

"mhm baby," he whispered, his voice losing pitch. "ill be home in just a second."

౨ৎ ---- cher

[cuubism]

Computation

part 7 of Complex Mathematics

(aka Dream vs Technology -- Technology: 1, Dream: 0)

------------

Wednesday, 3:54am

Hob. what is the wifi password?

3:56am: why are you texting me when I’m in the same house?

3:57am: I did not want to wake you up.

4:00am: ……….

4:01am: Ah.

4:03am: it’s 12345. which is terrible security by the way

4:04am: how do i know this and you don’t? we’re in YOUR flat

4:05am: Computers are your friends, not mine.

4:10am: It does not like the password.

4:12am: alright i’m getting up

Dream creeps back into the living room, holding a cup of tea, as Hob’s tinkering with the router. Turns out it needed to be completely reset before he could reconnect it to Dream’s laptop. Not that this is that hard, but for some reason Hob doesn’t understand, technology is simply out of Dream’s grasp. Head in the clouds, too smart for basic computer skills, etc etc.

“A peace offering,” Dream says, placing the tea on the coffee table. He perches on the couch beside where Hob’s leaning over the router on its spot on the bookshelf.

“I’m not mad at you,” Hob says. He pats the router as its indicator lights finally turn green again. “I will take tea, though.”

“I woke you,” Dream says softly.

“You’ve woken me before, you will again,” Hob says with equanimity. Their sleep schedules are out of alignment, it tends to happen.

It’s the wrong thing to say, though. Dream cringes, hands folding in his lap. “I should be able to handle such things.”

“It’s just the wifi.” Hob finally finishes reconnecting Dream’s laptop and turns properly towards him. Dream still looks guilty about it. Sometimes Hob misses the time before they were dating, when Dream would bristle at him instead of caving. Just because he doesn’t like seeing Dream feel bad.

He takes the cup of tea and places it in Dream’s hands instead, briefly wrapping their hands around each other. “It’s okay,” he repeats. Possibly they should have a longer conversation about it, but Hob’s not emotionally awake enough for it.

Instead, he gets up and heads for the kitchen to put on some coffee. He needs something with more caffeine in it than tea.

“What are you doing?” Dream asks.

“Might as well get something done while my brain is online,” Hob says. He goes to fetch his own laptop from Dream’s bedroom. Lord knows it’ll need to get reconnected to the glitchy wifi again, anyway.

~~

Friday, 2:05pm

Hob.

2:06pm: ?

2:07pm: The wifi is angry again.

2:09pm: did you antagonize it?

2:09pm: hang on did you just wake up now?

2:10pm: I cannot comment.

2:12pm: I assume you have been hard at work in the library since six.

2:14pm: more like hardly working in the library. i did make an app that gives you a gold star every time you do the laundry

2:16pm: Will that assist in your routines?

2:17pm: probably not but it’ll be fun for 5 minutes

2:17pm: wifi password’s still 12345

2:18pm: maybe I should make an app for that instead…

2:20pm: I do not think it would help.

2:30pm: …You are not trying to make said app, are you?

2:34pm: nope just realized I’m late for a class and had to scramble out of there. I’ll be back later can do couples counseling for you and wifi then?

2:35pm: Very well.

For a while after putting down his phone, Dream stares at the wifi router in vexation, as if that will possibly make the angry red lights turn green again. He doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. He knows even less what to do to fix it.

He needs the wifi operational to keep generating these fractals. He supposes he could go to the library and use university wifi, but that requires going out in public, which is preferably avoided, at least while he’s trying to work. So he will have to do something else until Hob gets back from class.

He recalls what Hob had said. That instead of working on his dissertation he had made an entire phone app about laundry. He had said it so casually, like it was a doodle to pass the time. Dream can use apps—barely—but he cannot begin to fathom how he would go about making one. Hob does not understand how even in his procrastination he is exceptional.

Well. This is something that Dream can do. Hob hates doing laundry—hence the app-based reward system—but Dream doesn’t mind. He finds it meditative. He will have to be more precise about fabric care instructions now, as while his own clothes rarely range beyond grey, black, and dark blue, Hob actually wears colors which might bleed into each other.

He puts on his headphones with some music, gathers up the laundry from the bedroom, and goes about his routine.

When Hob gets back, Dream has finished hanging the laundry to dry and returned to his contemplation of the router, this time still with his headphones playing. He’s lost in thought, and doesn’t notice Hob’s come in until his hand lands on Dream’s shoulder. Normally a sudden touch when he’s thinking would make him jump, but he’s become used to Hob.

“Trying to solve your marital problems through telepathy?” Hob asks.

“We were never married,” Dream says. “Indeed we are enemies.”

Hob laughs. He kisses Dream on the cheek, then kneels in front of the router. “You have to stop tormenting my boyfriend,” he tells it. It only blinks back at him innocently.

Hob can be very silly at times. “I do not think arguing with the inanimate object will help,” Dream says.

“You never know.” Hob takes the router down and sets about unplugging all the cables. Dream still doesn’t know what any of them precisely do, nor how wifi works. It may as well be magic.  

Hob has it fixed within minutes, of course. Far more effective than Dream’s intense staring. He gets Dream’s laptop reconnected, and Dream is finally able to start generating his fractal. “Thank you,” he says.

“Anything for my love,” says Hob, getting to his feet again. “Guessing you want some time to yourself now to work on this?”

“Yes,” says Dream, with some guilt. Hob has come home to help him only for him to immediately bury himself in his work again. But yes, he does want to make progress on this at last.

“Well, good,” says Hob, and Dream turns to him in surprise. “Because I’m due for a nap.”

Dream still hasn’t formulated a response to this by the time Hob’s disappeared into his bedroom. Strange, that their routines can be so opposite and still meld together so well.

Hob pokes his head back out into the hall. “Did you do the laundry?”

“Yes,” says Dream.

“I could kiss you,” Hob declares, then blows one to him before disappearing back into the bedroom.

Dream presses his hand to his cheek, as if to touch a kiss that had really landed there. Smiles to himself. Then goes back to his fractal.

~~

Monday, 5:02pm

Hob.

5:03pm: Wifi?

5:04pm: …Yes.

Thursday, 9:50pm

…..Hob.

9:50pm: I’m sitting right next to you.

9:51pm: ….

9:51pm: I’m just gonna get you a new router. This thing’s got problems.

9:52pm: I think it is I who has the problems.

9:52pm: That too.

Saturday, 6:00pm

Hob.

6:00pm: Is it broken AGAIN??

6:01pm: No. I got dinner.

6:02pm: Oh!

6:02pm: Fuck I’m starving.

6:03pm: Coming back from class now.

6:03pm: Don’t touch the router it’s in a fragile mental state.

6:04pm: Aren’t we all.

~~

Thursday, 3:50pm

This time, it is the wifi in Hob’s flat that is stymieing Dream. He does not think it is broken. Hob has merely changed the password, as he’s much more diligent about internet security than Dream, and then forgotten to tell Dream what it is. Or, more likely, correctly assumed Dream would have to ask him again anyway.

He briefly contemplates trying to deduce the password, but it is likely an incomprehensible string of characters that Hob would claim is ideal security precisely because of the impossibility of deducing it.

He refuses to text Hob about it again. Hob has a class to teach soon—Dream has his schedule memorized—Dream does not want to distract him. Though speaking of…

3:50pm: You have a class in ten minutes.

3:51pm: FUCK

3:51pm: I got distracted

3:53pm: Now… running

3:54pm: You are not near the building, are you.

3:55pm: NOPE

Dream smiles to himself, thinking of Hob sprinting across campus. It happens often. Hob is good at many things, but time management is not one of them. This is why Dream knows his schedule.

He does feel… a bit silly, though. He should be better at this, should he not? Less bothersome to Hob over small things that he should be able to handle.

Normally he would go back to his work to distract himself from these thoughts, but he still can’t work on his fractals without being able to connect remotely to the university computers, which are more powerful than his own. This is something Hob had also set up for him, because Dream had not been able to make any sense of the instructions he had been given for remote login, and the like.

Sighing, he instead takes his sketchbook out of his bag. It’s been a while since he’s made any time for drawing. But he had started looking at fractals in the first place to better understand patterns in art, to understand resonances between what occurred in nature and what was projected by mathematics. And drawing used to soothe him.

So he starts drawing, sketching the fractal he has been generating—to the extant that he can with the imprecise instrument of his pen. Even in infinite impossible digital form, the branching spirals eventually become too small for him to see, though he knows they continue on in perfect replication forever, smaller and smaller until they disappear into atoms. He cannot recreate that level of detail by hand. But he tries.

By the time he gets another text back from Hob, an hour later, he’s moved to the floor to have more space. He’s found a bigger piece of scrap paper and is drawing the fractal again, in more detail this time, color-coding the different shapes, free-handing where he should probably use a ruler for more precision. He has achieved several more levels of replication than before, but it is still not right. He can’t get it right. If he could only use the stupid computer system he could get it right.

Finally he looks at his phone, several minutes after the text alert pinged.

Thanks love 😘

Unexpectedly, it makes him tear up. Always this happens to him. He does not realize how frustrated he has become with himself until it is too late.

Of course, to only make matters worse, he is still sitting hunched on the floor, pen clasped tight in his hand, teeth clenched so hard it’s hurting his jaw, when Hob comes through the door. He must have texted not far from home.

“Hey, love,” Hob’s already saying as he comes through the door, “meant to stop and grab dinner but I totally forgot— I’m sure I have something here, though— Dream?”

Dream hasn’t moved from the floor, or responded. Hob puts down his bag and comes over to him. He looks down at the fractal, which is still incomplete. “Did you draw that?”

“Obviously,” Dream bites. The pen is still in his hand. He drops it, scraping a hand through his hair. Great. Now he’s snapping at Hob, too.

Hob sits down on the floor beside him. He studies the fractal. Then points to one of the shapes that Dream’s colored in red. “That’s supposed to be purple.”

Dream stares at the fractal. Hob is right, it is meant to be purple. According to the way Dream had color-coded it digitally. He looks at Hob. “How do you know that?”

“I’ve watched you fiddling with it enough. We set it up on your laptop, remember?”

Yes. Dream remembers. He remembers how Hob had helped him.

“Wifi giving you troubles again?” Hob asks, looking from the drawing, to Dream’s laptop, which is sleeping on the couch.

Dream nods, then saws quietly, “Are you not… frustrated with me? Annoyed?”

Hob doesn’t need to ask what he means. “Sometimes,” he says, and Dream can’t help his flinch. “So?”

“So?”

Hob shrugs. “I would have missed that class if you didn’t text me.”

Dream does not understand the relevance.

Hob looks up at him, raising an eyebrow in challenge. “Aren’t you annoyed with me?”

Perhaps he is, at times. Recently, Dream has been too absorbed in his project to feel much about it at all.

“I don’t know,” he says. “It is just how you are.”

Hob seems to think that Dream still doesn’t understand the point he’s making, and perhaps Dream doesn’t. Hob takes his hand. “Look. I’ve no idea why someone as smart as you are is constantly defeated by basic technology, but it doesn’t matter. Always having to be the one to fix the router is a small price to pay for having you in my life.”

Dream’s mouth opens, but no words come out. He… he does not know if anyone has ever put up with him with so little complaint. For truly, it is not only computer troubles. It is all the small things that stack upon each other to make him feel different and difficult.

“I find I do not like…” Dream admits tentatively, “when you must do these things. That I should be able to do.”

“You did the laundry the other day,” Hob says.

Why must he jump topics in this manner? “I do not understand.”

“Well, we don’t actually live together, you know. You have your own laundry. You don’t have to do mine, too.”

“I thought it would help you,” Dream says.

Hob just waits expectantly.

Dream looks down at his lap. “Ah. I… see.” Hob finds him frustrating at times, he had said so, but still wants to help him. He finds Hob’s admittance that Dream is frustrating to be a relief, in its way. He would only feel more on edge if Hob pretended otherwise, surely to snap later when Dream was least expecting it, as so many have done.

“Give me your arm,” Hob says then.

When Dream does, Hob pushes up his sleeve, takes one of the markers from the floor and writes on Dream’s forearm, the wifi password is I love you.

“There,” he says. “Now you won’t forget.”

Dream touches the words with a light fingertip. “This is not good internet security.”

“Oh, so you do listen my ramblings,” Hob says, laughing. Always, Dream thinks. “What, you’re going to throw out my valentine because I cut the heart out a little wonky?”

He makes as if to rub the marker off, and Dream pulls his arm protectively to his chest. Hob’s smile softens. He carefully pulls Dream forward into a hug, Dream’s arm pressed between them. Dream tucks his face into the crook of Hob’s neck. It’s one of his favorite places to hide.

“I’ll help you fix your program after we find some dinner,” Hob tells him, rubbing his back.

“I think I should give up on using computers,” Dream mumbles.

Hob chuckles. “See how you feel about it after I make you some brownies for dessert.”

Dream hums in pleasure at the thought, and Hob kisses the side of his head. And Dream touches, again, the words Hob’s written on his arm, where it’s pressed between them. And allows himself to smile.

Wednesday, 6:03pm

Dream is attempting to cook dinner. Hob doesn’t think it’s going so well. At least not if the blaring fire alarm, which Hob’s just silenced by waving a dish towel at it until the smoke dissipated, is any indication. But it does mean he’s been treated to the sight of Dream with his sleeves rolled up, delicate hands at work—and wearing an actual apron.

Having soothed the alarm, he leans against the counter so he can shamelessly ogle instead of helping.

“What are you even trying to make?” he asks, eyeing the still-smoking oven.

Dream pouts. “Only bread. It should not be so hard.”

“You didn’t wait for me to get home to watch?” He imagines the sight of Dream aggressively kneading the bread dough. It shouldn’t be a turn on, but it kind of is.

“You would make a spectacle of my misery?” Dream says, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, like he knows exactly what Hob is thinking about.

“Definitely,” Hob says, and Dream sighs, but turns to take the attempt at bread out of the oven. It’s… pretty blackened, to be honest. “Butter’ll save it, I’m sure!” Hob says cheerfully.

“Nothing will save it,” says Dream, morosely. He pulls off his oven mitt in apparent disgrace, and— Hob catches his arm.

“How has this not faded yet?”

For Hob’s writing saying the wifi password is I love you is still on his forearm.

Dream looks sheepish. “I got it tattooed.”

Hob tilts his head at him, confused. “So you could remember the wifi password?”

“So that I could remember this.” He traces his finger over, I love you.

Hob feels a blush creep across his cheeks. But it’s a pleasant feeling. “This is not even my best handwriting.”

“I know,” says Dream. He does not seem unhappy about it.

Hob takes his arm, touches the words, too. “You could have just gotten this part done.”

“I think,” Dream says slowly, touching the part that says, the wifi password is, “that this is another form of the same.”

And Hob… finds himself tearing up a little. Because it’s true. It’s so silly that Dream, certifiable maths genius, struggles so much with basic computer skills. But Hob will do any silly thing for him, because he loves him.

“Yeah,” he says, taking a shaky breath. “It is.”

“Unfortunately, you can never change the wifi password now,” says Dream, and Hob laughs wetly.

“I really can’t, can I? Terrible security. The things I’ll do for you, darling.”

“Would that include making proper bread?” Dream asks, and Hob nods, patting his arm.

“We’ll fix it, don’t worry.”

Now he’s wondering how he didn’t notice Dream getting a tattoo. Though to be fair, they haven’t seen each other as much in the past two weeks as they usually would, thanks to very inconvenient scheduling. Apparently Dream’s taken advantage of that time to do this.

“Can’t let you out of my sight for a second,” he says, as he fetches a new bread pan from the cupboard. “God knows what you’ll come back with next.”

“Be careful or I will consider that a challenge,” Dream says, and Hob pauses as way too many images flash through his mind. He shakes them off. He’ll never be able to focus on anything like that.

And Dream, the bastard, is smirking.

“Watch that look on your face or you might find that flour you’re holding dumped over your head,” Hob warns, but Dream only looks victorious, and utterly uncaring of the bag of flour he's precariously picked up.

“How will you ogle me kneading the dough that way?”

Hob swipes a dish towel from the counter and throws it at him. Dream yelps and spills the flour, which poofs up in a cloud of white landing all over his black t-shirt.

“Hob,” he complains.

“Serves you right, you dickhead,” Hob says. It only returns the smirk to Dream’s face.

“If you feel that way perhaps I’ll decide I don’t need your supervision,” he says archly.

Hob tears a piece off of Dream’s first attempt at a loaf. Or rather, breaks off a piece, which is hard as stone. He shows it to him as evidence.

Dream snatches it and shoves it into his mouth. Bites down with a crunch so horrifying Hob’s afraid he’s broken a tooth. But Dream persists, chewing it painstakingly and then swallowing, as if by force.

“Taste good?” Hob asks.

“Yes—” Dream starts to insist—then dissolves into a fit of coughing that swiftly turns into giggles. Hob loves it so much when he laughs like that. It’s so rare.

Hob laughs with him. Then frees the crumpled bag of flour from Dream’s grasp and sets it aside, brushes the flour and crumbs from his shirt. Then he takes Dream’s arm and runs his fingertip over the words again, still in awe.

He again finds himself having to clear his throat to avoid tearing up. But he manages, and says, “Let’s get you some proper, not burnt bread, yeah?”

“Please,” says Dream, a tad sheepish. “I am… very hungry.”

Hob kisses his cheek, then goes about solving that problem, too.

[kiwisluv]

Obsessed With You Pt. 3 | Jude Bellingham

Social Media AU! Inspired by Central Cee and Madeline Argy getting back together.

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Rapper! Y/n

Face claim: Flo Milli

Part 3/? Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

September 27 | Instagram

liked by sza, themonaleo, judebellingham, and 787,901 others

y/nusername My interview with @/alexcooper is up now on Youtube! Watch to hear me spiral over my own life choices😆

Comments

y/nloverarmy can't wait to gobble this video up

mummyy/n what is jude doing here 😒

emeebeez shorty stunting with that emotionally unstable shi

florallilz she just like me fr

y/njudelovechild UM CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHAT MISS GIRL LET DROP IN THIS INTERVIEW????????

September 27 | Twitter

September 30 | Instagram

liked by jobebellingham, gioreyna, and 4,678,301 others

judebellingham settled.

Comments

judesbaefy2205 HOLDDDDDDDDDD UP

judesbaefy2205 song???? 🧐

mrsbellinghamz i knowwwww he thinks he's a film bro

rmaballers0 this post is very man

beckydias "int'l players anthem" at least he's self aware

englishfootballl0v3 remember that video of gio saying jude was the guy he wouldn't let date his daughter???? yeah now we know why

Stories

y/nusername 9m ago

judebellingham responded to your story

feeling funny eh?

u look sexy

seen 11:09pm

September 30 | Twitter

September 30 | Instagram

liked by judebellingham, madelineargy, and 1,270,614 others

y/nusername london vibes

Comments

samiraprovo 4th slide so realllll

y/nsarmy i giggled

thomasgatti she badd

rapcaviar rap royalty 👑🇬🇧

judeybear2003 i cannot with their subtle jabs at each other

y/nciao can we talk about how her and jude still don't follow each other but he's been liking every single one of her posts

November 2 | Instagram

liked by erlinghaaland, gioreyna, and 3,951,073 others

judebellingham hate it or love it.

Comments

vinijr My g

jobebellingham My chargie

bellingdaze5 wtf is a chargie

madders 🤍🫡

judey/nsupporter cheeky song

judesbee22 wait a damn minute

November 2 | Twitter

-

hehe hope yall like. next part might be the last idkkkkk

[riize119]

ミ★ RIIZE119 MAIN MASTERLIST

______________________________________________________________

texts-

you try to forget about the kiss you shared (ot7).

daily bf!Eunseok texts (1)

daily bf!Sungchan texts (1).

daily bf!Wonbin texts (1), (2).

daily bf!Seunghan texts (1), (2).

secret admirer!Seunghan texts

timestamps-

shotaro; [6:09pm], [4:03pm].

eunseok; [11:00pm].

sungchan; [9:39pm], [3:00pm].

wonbin; [7:00pm], [2:00am], [5:57pm].

seunghan; [4:12pm], [4:11pm].

sohee; [2:33pm], [10:30am].

anton; [12:55pm], [12:00am], [3:00pm], [12:05am].

soulmate!aus-

shotaro.

eunseok.

sungchan.

wonbin.

seunghan.

sohee.

anton.

headcanons-

all members: -riize as fwb

individual members: -best friend!wonbin. -(secret admirer!seunghan) as your best friend to lover

[havemybackanyday]

I started thinking about Buck texting Bobby every time he woke up, and my hand slipped.

---

Bobby is just beginning to prep breakfast at the station when his phone pings.

7:26am hey everything ok

It doesn't click right away—Bobby’s first assumption being that Buck is missing the job, maybe feeling a little left out. 

7:27am Yeah, everything’s fine here. Shift just started, you’re not missing much. Are you ok?

He watches as the three dots pop up and then disappear a couple times, and then puts his phone down to stir the eggs. He’s almost forgotten about it by the time the response comes in.

7:34am just checking

It’s then that the penny drops, and the realization breaks Bobby’s heart a little. He opens his camera and flips it around, taking a surreptitious selfie with A shift seated at the table in the background. Chim is gesturing animatedly, and Eddie is chuckling into a coffee mug while Hen rolls her eyes. In the foreground is half of Bobby’s own face, forgetting to smile as he concentrates on framing the shot. 

He sends the picture off to Buck.

7:36am We’re all here, all safe. We miss you. thanks bobby. miss you guys too

The next one comes in the following morning, just as Bobby is pulling into his driveway.

7:31am hey Hey, kid. All good here. ok, great sorry thanks No need, Buck.

Bobby knows there’s something Buck isn’t telling him about the coma dream and his place in it. When Bobby had asked him about it at the hospital, he’d been cagey, and since Buck got home, Bobby feels like he’s being tracked—like if Buck doesn’t know where Bobby is at any given moment, Bobby might vanish into thin air… or Buck might.

Bobby can be an anchor. He’s had practice.

2:12pm all good? All good.

They fall into a routine, where Buck will text “hey” whenever he wakes up and Bobby will reply with a checkmark emoji. It’s soothing for Bobby, too—this way, he knows Buck is sleeping, and gets a rough idea of when and how much. There’s always a text in the morning, and more often than not, a message also comes through in the afternoon. 

A couple days in, the afternoon text arrives while the 118 is on a call. Nothing serious, but several cars are involved, and Bobby is flitting around the scene, directing his people back and forth to where they’re needed. By the time he wraps up, Eddie is sitting half inside the truck and holding his phone, a concerned look on his face.

“Cap?”

Bobby pulls his own phone out of his turnouts.

3:42pm hey

3:48pm hey, bobby?

3:52pm i know it’s fine and i know you’re probably on a call but lmk if you’re ok when you can

3:54pm please sorry

Bobby takes a quick selfie with Eddie. Neither of them is smiling, but it’s not annoyance—it’s the same way they’d be looking at Buck if he were here, handling the call with them. No performing, just an ordinary moment in time. 

He sends it over.

4:09pm Sorry to make you wait. We’re good.

He looks up from his phone, and Eddie is watching him with pinched eyebrows. Wordlessly, he flips his phone around to show Bobby his own string of texts from Buck. Bobby sees his own name in the thread several times.

“How’s he doing?” Bobby asks.

Eddie blows out a breath and settles his elbows on his knees. “He’s… working through some stuff,” Eddie says, looking back at the text thread. He’s silent for a long moment, and then huffs a rueful laugh. “He seems rattled, which is pretty understandable. But beyond that, I don’t think he knows what he needs yet.”

“Well, until he tells us differently, the best thing we can do for him is to be here, and be us.”

Eddie nods, and they both swing into the engine.

That night, the ping of Bobby’s phone wakes him from a deep sleep in the station house bunks.

2:20am hey you awake

Bobby rubs a hand across his face. I am now. You ok? sorry i woke you No, don’t be. I’d rather you reach out.

Buck doesn’t respond; the three dots don’t even appear.

2:22am Did something happen? You alright?

2:24am just a nightmare You want to tell me about it? nah maybe later glad you’re ok, get some sleep

Bobby locks his phone and stares at the ceiling in the dark. He isn’t sure how much time passes, but at some point he resigns himself to the fact that his swirling worries won’t resolve themselves into anything legible right now. He swings his legs out of bed and heads upstairs to the kitchen.

Five hours later, he pulls into a parking spot outside of Buck’s apartment complex, a pan of cinnamon rolls in the passenger seat.

“Hey, Bobby.” Buck looks tired when he swings open the door, circles under his eyes, smile a little faded. 

“Hey, kid. Brought you something.” Bobby peels back a corner of the foil covering the cinnamon rolls, and watches as Buck’s eyes brighten.

He laughs and gestures to the piles of food on the kitchen island. “I don’t know if I’ve even got space for those, but I’ll move some of this out to the balcony if I have to.”

Bobby hands the pan over, and Buck lifts out a roll immediately, taking a huge bite that leaves icing on his lip. “Mmmmh. God. Thank you.”

He can’t help a smile at Buck’s enthusiasm. “Anytime.”

There’s a moment of quiet while Buck wedges the pan onto the overloaded island and finishes his roll. He’s licking his fingers and avoiding Bobby’s eyes when he says, “Sorry again for waking you up.”

“Buck.” Bobby waits for him to look up. “Don’t be. We’re all here for you—and not just because you got hurt. We’re here whenever you need us.”

Buck pauses, index finger still in his mouth. He pulls it out and says in a rush, as if racing his own hesitation: “You were dead. In my coma dream, you were dead. Because Hen and I never came to your apartment that day.”

“Okay,” Bobby says, nodding neutrally as the memories wash over him. The shame of waking in the shower. The helplessness of placing his pain in his coworkers’ hands. The rock-steady warmth of Buck and Hen on either side of him.

A vise tightens around his heart.

“Is that why you’ve been checking on me?”

Buck has the gall to sound ashamed of himself when he says, “Yeah.”

“Buck, you know—hey. Look at me, this is important.” Buck, who has shifted his gaze to someplace over Bobby’s right shoulder, drags his eyes back. “You know that my sobriety isn’t your responsibility, right?”

Buck nods. “I know, and I’m not trying to… fix things, or control things I can’t. I just…” He trails off, and his eyes are shining. “I don’t want to wake up again in a world that doesn’t have you in it. This version of you, I mean.”

“Oh, kid, c’mere.” Bobby steps forward and wraps Buck in a hug. 

God damn anyone who ever told this kid that his heart was a problem. 

When they finally let go of each other, Bobby holds on to Buck’s shoulders. Buck sniffs, and swats a tear off his cheek with the palm of his hand. 

“You’ve been through a lot, and I know you’re still sorting it out. But I also know how stubborn you are when you’re chewing on a problem,” Bobby says, drawing a wet laugh out of Buck. “I know you’ll find your way through it. And we will all be here for you. Every step, however long it takes.”

Buck nods, and breaks into a hesitant smile.

“And in the meantime, let us spoil you a little.” Bobby gives Buck’s shoulder a light jab with his fist. “We don’t want to wake up in a world without you, either.”

[pattypanini]

Lay All Your Love On Me

Chapter 9-Double Dip

Josh Kiszka x Reader and Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 9,206 (we got carried away with this one <3)

TAGLIST

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the ninth chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! We are soooo proud of this chapter and slightly scared for you guys. We are going to add a poll after this because we want to know when you guys would like us to post because as college students this gets very busy. We hope you enjoy the ninth chapter, Double Dip

Warnings: 18+, SMUTTTTTT, Unprotected sex, BDSM JOSH!!!!, DOM/SUB, Kinks, Choking, Impact play, Restraints, Spanking with object, Praise kink, Degrading kink, Dirty talk, Alcohol, Choking (not in the hot way, on drink), Fluff.

Y/n's POV

As you’re heating up your leftover pasta, you zone out thinking about last night. You couldn’t believe that had actually happened, but you didn’t regret it a single bit. You probably wouldn’t have even believed it happened, if it weren’t for Josh’s name under your recent calls.

Charlotte had only gotten back to the dorm around 1 today, and thank god for that because if she had seen or heard what you were doing last night you most definitely would never be able to look her in the eyes again.

You whip open the microwave door and snatch up your pasta, following with you dropping it after realizing how hot it is. Taking a seat at the dining table, you notice that Josh still hasn’t reached out today. After over analyzing the situation you immediately come to the conclusion that you must’ve done something wrong.

You stab at your food with your fork, anxiously. You glance over at the clock hanging on the wall, 3 o’clock. You let out a sigh. He should have texted by now. You take a small bite of your food and decide you were going to text him.

You didn’t want to come off as pushy or antsy, but you needed to know that everything was okay between the two of you.

As you pull out your phone to formulate your message, a notification pops up.

3:03pm Josh: Hey beautiful! I hope you slept well last night after our call😏 Wanna hear about the date I planned for us tonight?

It’s like he can read your mind.

3:04pm y/n: Yesss

3:06pm Josh: Well first I wanna ask something, would you like to try a little something different tonight.

3:07pm y/n: What is it?

3:09pm Josh: I was thinking about being a little bit more dominant and you be more submissive, let me take control. A friend of mine was talking about a BDSM test, idk if you ever heard about that, but it got me interested. And they say to do it with people you're comfortable with so I figured we could try it together, if you want.

Oh. That wasn’t what you were expecting to hear, but you’d be lying if you had said you weren’t intrigued.

3:10pm y/n: I’m down for anything Josh, you know that. And yes I have heard about it, but haven't really done anything though. So how do you wanna do this?

3:11pm Josh: Okay great, well first off we need safety words. Red means stop everything, yellow means stop momentarily or slow down, and green is good, understand?

3:12pm y/n: Yes.

3:15pm Josh: Amazing. So I’m gonna say it once and only once. I’m picking you up at 6 on the dot, we have reservations at 6:30 at The Earle. I want you to wear a tight black dress, the one that you wore for your New Year's post. Also a pair of black lace panties. I want your hair loosely curled and natural makeup. Pack an overnight bag with whatever you want. I’ll see you tonight mama.

3:17pm y/n: Damn, controlling much?

3:18pm Josh: Do you not like this, all you have to do is say red baby.

3:19pm y/n: No I like it, I like this dominant side of you.

3:21pm Josh: Perfect mama, I’ll see you tonight then.

3:22pm y/n: Can’t wait, Joshy.

You relax for a little while before you start to get ready. You slip on your tight black dress and the black lace panties he requested. You take a seat at your vanity doing some light, natural makeup and slide on your black heels. Lastly, you curl your hair, being sure to brush through it lightly to soften the curls up.

As you comb through your hair your mind is going wild, one because of the BDSM stuff. It was stuff you had seen in the media and were interested in it. A lot of the guys at Michigan weren’t into that kind of thing, most of them are pretty vanilla. Plus it was with Josh, someone you trusted. The main thing making your mind go crazy was the fact that you were going on a real date with Josh. You would have never expected things to lead to it after friendzoning him. But maybe feelings were coming back, or never left at all?

You glance at the clock after regaining consciousness, 5:57pm. How could it possibly be that time already?

With a few sprays of perfume, you grab your purse, overnight bag, and walk out the door to wait for him. To your surprise he wasn’t there yet, he’s usually pretty early for stuff. But as the clock hits 6 you see a black SUV pull up in front of your dorm as if you summoned him.

As he steps out of the Black G Wagon, daddy’s money surely, he makes his way to your side and opens the passenger door for you after taking your bags.

“Thanks Josh.” He lends you a hand, helping you into the car. He makes his way back to his side and puts your stuff in the back seat, and hops back into his.

He puts on his sunglasses before leaning over to you and placing a kiss on your cheek. You can’t help but blush at his subtable gesture of intimacy.

“You smell delectable y/n, makes me wanna take you right here in the back of the car.”

Your eyes open wide, “Oh, thank you!” You blush and a nervous laugh bubbles out. Why did you say it like that? You start to lean back towards the door, Josh mirroring you with a confused look, studying your body.

“Y/n, I need you to calm down okay? It's just me, we're gonna get a nice dinner, we're just adding a little bit of fun to it. Despite me being the ‘dominant’ one, you have full control of the situation.” Josh attempts to calm you down, as you take a deep breath trying to steady your anxiousness. He put his hand on your shoulder, rubbing it softly with his thumb.

He looked pretty delectable himself. He was wearing a dark green matching suit with a black collared shirt underneath, leaving a few buttons at the top open revealing a silver chain.

He brings his hands to the wheel after putting the vehicle into drive and begins to navigate you towards the restaurant, resting his right hand on your thigh, squeezing it lightly every once and a while. “I know, I know. It’s just… I’ve never tried anything like this before and I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“Y/n, you could never make a fool of yourself, we're going to learn together. It’s my first time trying this stuff out too, I’m here for you and don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable. Your safety and comfortability is my top priority.” He reassures you, rubbing his thumbs back at forth on the top of your thigh.

You place your hand on top of his, giving him a gentle squeeze and a sweet smile. “Thanks Josh and I appreciate you for setting all this up, it was very sweet of you.”

“Anything for you mama” You feel the blush creeping up to your cheeks again. “ Also, we are almost there. It's a pretty short drive.” You both sit in comfortable silence for the next few minutes, until he pulls into the restaurant parking lot. “We're here, I wanted to get here early because they are weird about people being late.

You look at the clock. 6:11, oh. “Will they let us in early?”

“No they’re a bunch of assholes, you have to be there perfectly on time, can’t be early or late.”

You sat there not knowing what to do. I mean you could sit here without saying anything to each other but that didn’t seem like a fun option. But then a better option came to mind.

“Hey Josh, do you wanna do something fun?”

“Like, go to the backseat for fun, or something else.” His eyebrows shot up.

“Not backseat fun, that’s for later.” You say with a hint of sarcasm, knowing it's not actually sarcastic. “I mean like taking that BDSM test you were talking about, and maybe the rice purity test.”

“Are you sure you wanna expose yourself like that?” Leaning back in his seat more, getting comfortable.

“I mean I don’t care, I’m comfortable with you and would share whatever. I’m doing it more because I’m nosy and wanna know about your past.” You say reaching forward, fixing the collar of his shirt.

He looks down at your hand, sliding his tongue across his teeth, trying to conceal his smile. “Okay baby, whatever you want.” He pulls out his phone from his pocket, you pulling yours out of your purse.

You pull up the Rice Purity website and begin to check off the boxes, flying through it since you’ve done it with your friends many times before.

“Okay I’m done with the Rice Purity test, are we sharing our results yet?”

“No, do the other test then we can go over them.”

You nod your head and go on to the next test. This one was much longer, and had much more vulgar questions. Some that you agreed with strongly, some you were shading, and some that you had never heard of before, but wondered if you’d like it?

After a very long time of taking the test and waiting for Josh to finish he looks up from his screen.

“Okay y/n I’m done.”

“Yay so we can go over them now?”

“Hmmm no. It’s 6:28, so it’s time to go in. Looks like someone’s going to have to ponder my results until after dinner.” He gives you a fake smile quickly running around to your side and giving you a helping hand out of the car. He gives a quick kiss to your hand and shuts the car door.

He guides you to the entrance with his hand resting on your lower back. Opening the door for you, you're met with a lowly lit restaurant with lots of low toned chatter and a piano playing in the background

“Josh Kiszka, table for two.”

The hostess looks down to the planner and crosses off his name before grabbing menus and leading you to a table.

You're brought to a very nice area where the live music is playing. Josh pulls out your seat for you letting you sit down before pushing you back in. You could really get used to this pampered lifestyle.

“You’re such a gentleman Josh.”

“Just trying to treat you the way you should be mama. Nothing less than perfect for you, especially for how hard you’ve been working in the show.” He grabs his menu and begins to look it over.

“You have been working hard too, how can I repay you?”

“Oh trust me you’ll be repaying me tonight in bed.” He says with a smirk.

Your eyes shoot open and before you're able to say anything else the waiter approaches your table.

“Hello everyone, my name is Matthew. I'll be your server for today. Can I start you off with any drinks?”

“Yeah I’ll have a Moscow Mule and she’ll have a Dirty Martini. Thank you sir.”

He jots down the drink orders and hastily walks to the kitchen. It was a very busy night, lots of older couples, probably due to the fact that college students don’t typically have the money for a place like this. You took a look at the menu before you came and saw the expensive menu items. It was filled with lots of good seafood and many other options. You liked coming to restaurants prepared, having your meal planned out, and a backup option just in case.

You were planning on getting the scallops, but the steak also looked good from seeing them pass by with other waiters.

“What are you thinking of getting Josh?”

He sits leaning back in his chair, concentrating on the menu and slowly looks up to you. He looks so good.

“I usually get the same thing every time. The Beef Bourguignon.”

“Sounds fancy Josh, I think I’m going to have the scallops.” You smile looking deep into his eyes.

“You look so amazing tonight mama. The way you look under this lighting is driving me crazy.” He gives you a cute, little smirk.

Before you could say anything back, the waiter came over with your drinks. “Here you go sir, and for you ma'am, a dirty martini.”

“Thank you so much.” You give a polite smile and take a sip of your drink.

“Would you like more time to think over your order, or do we think you’re ready?”

“I think we’re ready. I’ll have the Beef Bourguignon and she will have the Scallops.”

“Sounds good, it's not too often I see men order for their girlfriends anymore. What a good boyfriend” Matt points out, while snatching up the menus.

“Oh, well he’s a great friend, not boyfriend but..yeah he’s great.” You feel the heat rise in your cheeks, no doubt looking like a freshly picked tomato.

Josh gives you a smile, not one of real kindness, but one that tells you you’ve fucked up.

“I’m sure he is. I’ll go put that order in.” As Matt walks away, your eyes follow his trail, you are scared to look back at Josh. When you shift your eyes to him, you’re met with a surprisingly pleasant look.

“Are you still too scared to just admit you like me mama? I know you do, or are you just trying to seem available to Mr. Matthew over there.” He reaches over the table to hold your hands between his.

“I…I wasn’t trying to, I just got caught off guard. I didn’t mean to…” You’re quick to defend yourself.

“I’m only kidding y/n, I’m just trying to get you riled up.” He squeezes your hands softly before bridging them to his mouth and kissing them. You take a few more sips of your drink and Josh notices it beginning to get low. “Do you want more darling? Or maybe a bottle of wine for us?”

“Up to you Josh, I thought you were ‘in charge’ for the night.”

He smirks to you, biting the inside of his cheek. “We’re taking this slow baby, but someone seems eager to be dominated, what a slut.” You can’t help but smile at his remarks. You did want to be dominated, badly. Before you could agree to his comment Matthew comes over to the table with another dirty martini.

“This is for you, I noticed you were getting low and don’t worry it’s on me.” Matt smiles at you with his bright white teeth, gently setting the glass onto the polished wood table.

“Oh my, thank you Matthew.” You accept his gesture and take the drink.

“Oh please, you can call me Matt miss…” You watch as his gaze lingers a little longer than it should’ve.

“Y/n.” You say noticing his hand was reached out for a hand shake.

“Well I’m going to check on your food. It should be out at any moment.” He smiles before noticing Josh’s near empty glass, and continuing to walk away.

Josh scoffs and shakes his head. It definitely was a little rude of him to do all that.

You notice that Matt had not gotten too far away, when he turns around you signal him to come back over.

“Hi Matt, I know you noticed but my date is running low so I’d appreciate it if you did your job and got him some more.” You shoot him a condescending smile, your tone laced with venom.

Matt’s eyes almost pop out of his head. “On it miss.” He turns back to the kitchen before anything else could be said. He’d do anything for a god damn tip.

You turn back to Josh to see him smiling ear to ear.

“That was the sexiest fucking thing you’ve ever done y/n. Such a good girl obeying and serving me.”

“Anything for you Joshy.” You bat your eyelashes at him.

“But you were still flirty with him before, so that’s a strike for later mama.” He teasingly raises his eyebrows at you, making you wonder what exactly he has in store.

As you wait a little longer for your food, due to the fact that it was busy tonight at the restaurant, you talk about how awful this week coming up would be during practice. Coleman was always so stressed the closer it got to the show. And although you still had a month-ish before the actual show, it was getting closer to hell week which was when you would run through the show full out all day and night. Coleman’s big on total perfection and mastery, to ensure the show goes exactly to plan.

When the food and Josh’s drink finally came out you wasted no time to dig in, in a classy way of course. It was very rare for you to indulge in quality food since all you ever ate was dining hall food and never went home for homemade meals. When you saw they served scallops on the menu, you knew right away that was what you were getting. You love seafood so much, it reminds you of your childhood, when your Aunt Jen would take you out to your favorite seafood restaurant for your birthday every year. You missed her deeply, ever since you broke contact with your mom, you drifted with her as well.

You jab your fork into one of tender scallops, popping the entire thing in your mouth. You savor the rich, nutty flavor knowing that tomorrow morning you’ll be right back to the regularly scheduled meals.

“Wanna hear a funny story?” Josh asks, shoving a large forkful of noodles into his mouth.

“Hit me with it,” you reply, still chewing on your scallop.

“To preface, I was still in high school when this happened, so you can’t hold it against me,” He smirks, pointing at you with a raised brow.

You giggle at his dramatics,”Okay…”.

“Promise you won’t?” He presses, holding out his pinky finger to you.

You interlock your pinky with his, “Promise.”

“Good. Jake, Sam, and I had the house to ourselves one weekend because our parents went on an anniversary trip. So… you know, we threw a big party. Jake and I were Sophomores, not very experienced with alcohol for one. Two, we didn’t have that many friends so the friends we did have invited a ton of people we didn’t even know. So, our house was practically filled with complete strangers.” Josh took a big gulp of his drink, followed by another forkful of beef.

“Rebels,” you mutter, a chuckle bubbling out.

“That's for sure. We crashed on the chaise chairs that surrounded our pool that night. Woke up to the house a total mess, someone had even broken one of the lamps in our living room. And, boy, it was not a cheap one either. But that's besides the point, I woke up and immediately needed to shit, you know… as one does. I was still kinda drunk, I definitely wasn't sober, so I was a little slower than usual.”

“Oh no…” A wide smile spreads across your face, as you tilt your glass up to your mouth, you take a hefty swig.

“I shit my pants. 16 year old boy, shit… in his pants,” A boisterous laugh leaves his lips, recalling the moment.

You swallow your drink, the same time a cackle escapes from your throat. You begin aggressively coughing on your beverage, you watch through your teary eyes, as Matthew comes running up to you. But you couldn’t quite read the expression on his face, your tears blurring your vision.

“Y/n, are you okay?” You can hear Josh ask.

You try to clear your throat to answer, when you feel strong arms wrap around your torso. Matt comes up behind attempting to perform the heimlich maneuver on you. You come to your senses with one final cough, your vision returning back to normal.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Josh’s eyebrows are knitted, a lilt to his voice.

“I was trying to help her!” Matt backs away with his hands up defensively. “I’m sorry,” he turns to apologize to you and walks back towards the kitchen.

“It’s okay!” You yell after him, facing Josh again, anger written all over his pretty face. He can’t seriously be mad that the waiter touched me to give the heimlich? “Josh, is everything okay?” You widen your eyes at him.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the one that started choking!” He says in a surprisingly defensive tone.

“Why are you getting snappy at me? I didn’t try to choke?!” You bite back.

“Mm, yeah, sure. You also didn’t tell him to get off of you now did you, hm?” He fires at you, his lips pull into a thin, straight line.

“Are you actually serious?” You start, wanting to say more but held back to prevent a possible argument/

“Yeah I’m serious. You probably loved having his hands all over you didn’t you?”

You stare at him, not knowing what the fuck to say to that. This has to be a joke.

“That’s what I fucking thought, thats another strike mama.” He warns you.

So this is what it’s all about. Just nitpicking so he can be more dominant. You wanted to be mad, but you couldn't, you were kind of aroused.

You might be sick. Sick for thinking angry Josh was hot. Sick for wanting to make him even more irritated, to get more strikes, even though you have no idea what it entails. Sick for yearning to grab his hand, leave the restaurant, and fuck in the backseat of his car.

You let out a quiet whimper at the authority in his words, but not without him noticing.

“What was that mama?” He raises one of his thick, well-groomed eyebrows at you.

“Hm?” You think acting stupid might make him forget or possibly make him think he made it up in his own brain.

“Oh baby, I’m not stupid. You like it when I talk down to you, like a little brat.” Another mouthful of beef is forced into his mouth.

“Who says?” You challenge, wanting to see how far you can push him before he falls off the edge.

“Don’t act like you didn’t just outwardly moan at me talking to you,” What a cocky bastard.

“I didn’t. I think you’re making things up Josh,” You swirl your drink around in your cup, giving him the stupidest look ever.

He narrows his eyes at you.“Don’t think so mama, and plus it's not good to lie. That’ll be another strike.” He drops his fork down onto his plate.

Your eyes are bulging out of your head, mouth gaping. “Don’t look at me like that darling, or else I won't be able to wait until we get back to my apartment and I’ll put that mouth to use right now. A gaping mouth is good for many things, not just you pretending to be surprised while hiding the fact that your extremely turned on. I bet those panties of yours are soaked right”

“Who says we have to wait? I want you right now Josh.” You instinctively rub your thighs together desperate for any kind of friction. You've been struggling with your impatience for him all evening, ever since he brought up his little idea.

“Now, where’s the fun in that? The build up is one of the best parts,” he gives you a sweet smile flashing his gorgeously white teeth at you.

You roll your eyes at him, “ I suppose.” Your foot stretches out, brushing up and down his ankle with your high heel.

“Keep being a fucking brat and see what happens, but its obvious that being punished is what you want. Such a dirty whore.” He takes a sip from his drink reacting like he just told you the weather for the day. It seems only you had a reaction to what he said and thankfully the music was loud enough or else you would be getting a couple more stares.

Your face must have been concerned because immediately Josh’s demeanor softens. “Baby are you not liking this, I told you all you have to do is say the word.”

“No no no. I’m loving this, maybe a little too much. I’m just so taken aback, I’ve never seen this side of you and I’m really loving it.”

He smirks, probably feeling good about himself after you just exposed yourself, probably a little too much.

After Josh pays the bill and you convince Josh to give Matt more than a few dollars tip because of his jealousy, you prepare to leave and head back to his apartment.

“Okay I know you want to get into the action immediately but I want to take you somewhere else, if you don’t mind.” He smiles, reaching out to hold your hands between his.

“I don’t mind at all.” You scooch out of your chair, grab your purse, and follow Josh out of the restaurant. After a short 5 minute drive you show up to an ice cream parlor that you had never been to before.

“How have I never known about this place?”

“You must be living under a rock y/n. I loved this place as a kid, our dad would take us all the time.” You felt a little overdressed for an ice cream parlor, but being here with Josh made the outside world irrelevant. After looking over the many flavors you opt on a mint chocolate chip scoop in a cup and Josh chooses his regular, a double scoop of cherry vanilla in a waffle bowl.

He brings you over to a small table in the corner, letting you have the booth side. After indulging in your ice cream for a few minutes and realizing it was the best ice cream you had ever had, Josh breaks the silence.

“So do you want to go over our test results?”

Your eyes almost fall out of your head. “Here? Josh, we're in public!”

“Anddddd…” He says, waiting for your response. “It’s not like there is anyone around.”

Besides the family on the other side of the room and the old couple ordering, the place was empty.

You giggle before pulling your phone out of your purse. You find your results and wait for him to begin.

“Okay so, what did the innocent y/n get on her rice purity score?” Making sure he emphasizes the innocent.

“No way man, you first.” You say pulling your phone closer to your chest.

“Fine. I got a 46.” He says dryly, waiting for your response.

“Oh my god, you're such a slut Josh.” Not being able to contain your laughter.

“So I got lower than you?”

You wince a little, realizing you’ll now have to expose yourself. “If we're talking golf then sure.” He can’t help but let his jaw drop a little. “How about a 23.”

His mouth turns into a huge open mouth smile. “I can’t believe that, show me.” You flip around your phone sharing the evidence.

“Are you going to call me a slut now or something?” Half being serious, half joking.

“Y/n, I don’t think you're a slut. Seriously. I said those things before because I was jealous of what I couldn’t have. That number means nothing to me, unless you chose one of the last two options, then it matters.” You can’t help but laugh, one at the joke, and two at the fact that he sees you for more than your sexual history.

“That means a lot Josh, thank you. And it means even more knowing how jealous you were.” You giggle, taking a spoon of ice cream into your mouth.

“Why not just get the cherry flavored ice cream? The vanilla probably just makes it more bland.”

His head cocks to the side giving you a look that makes you feel like you're missing something. He begins to scoop up a good amount onto his spoon, making sure to get a big cherry in it. He brings the spoon to your mouth, normally you would be cringed out over something like this but it was different. You allowed him to feed you the icecream and to your surprise it was amazing.

You cover your mouth making sure that you lick the remnants off your lips. “That's so good Josh, I’ll have to get that next time.”

“So there will be a next time?” He says scoops up some ice cream for himself.

“I mean, I had fun tonight. Even without a label I like hanging out with you and going out.”

“Right, and one may even call those hangouts a date, don’t you think?” He says, cocking his eyebrow up at you.

“I guess one could call them that. No matter what they're called I love being around you Josh. At practice, your apartment, out somewhere. It doesn’t matter. And to me it doesn’t matter what we are either, does it matter to you?”

He sits there for a second thinking about the bomb you just dropped on him.

“If you would have asked me that a little bit ago I would have said it did matter. But whether or not we're more than friends, I enjoy your company and I think for now that’s all that matters.”

Wow, this was a whole new side of Josh. Such a sweet and tender side that you could really come to love. Love. That word had never been in the equation. You push your many thoughts aside in your head, enjoying the present moment with Josh.

As you continue your simple banter you finish your ice cream filling so full from all the food from tonight. The way his face looked under the light could put you in a trance, you barely could pay attention to anything he was saying.

“… it was so crazy. Like who pulls up to a wedding in a tracker themed party bus?”

You snap back into realty to hear the last bit of his story. “That is so crazy.”

He smiles at you, the moment was so pure. “Anyways, wanna go back and let me fuck the shit out of you.”

Now that was the Josh you were used to. “Been waiting all night for you to ask.”

—

When arriving at his apartment, you imagined it would be like the movies. When they are stumbling into each other, hungrily trying to peel off each other's clothing, wanting nothing but one another. But despite Josh’s words fucking wasn’t the first thing to happen.

You both walk in hand and hand and he lets you use the bathroom to change into something more comfortable. Normally you would wear a giant t-shirt and shorts but wanted to dress a little nicer. Which sounds silly considering you would be going to bed. You wore a plum silk tank and flowy pants that fit perfectly on your body.

After returning from the bathroom Josh was sprawled out on the couch waiting for you. He had a tight t-shirt on, his muscles underneath pulling at the fabric. His bottom half, dressed in red flannel pajama pants. Your mouth waters at the sight, your hand quickly moving towards your mouth to wipe it. He pats the spot on the couch next to him, “Come take a seat mama, lets watch our show.”

“Community? But I thought we were gonna-”

“Patience darling, all in good time. Don’t you wanna relax with me?”

Without a second thought you come over to take a seat next to him but are grabbed and forced to sit in between his legs, letting your back lay against his chest. The episodes went by while light chatter filled the air. His fingers made it to your head at some point and never left as he played with your hair, lightly twirling and braiding it in some sorts. As you were going into the third episode of the night, you remembered the BDSM test that never got revealed from earlier.

“Hey Joshy?”

“Yeah.” He says drying, trying to pay attention to the episode.

“We still never went over the BDSM test.”

He sat up now giving you his full attention. “You're right, let me go grab my phone and some snacks and I’ll be right back. I have a feeling this is going to be entertaining.” He smiles moving around you to get up. You giggle and reach for your phone. When unlocking it, it opens right to your messages and Jake's name is very clearly near the top. Before he got back, you quickly deleted the messages and turned on do not disturb. You felt guilty having to hide it, but you didn’t want this to ruin the night.

Josh walks back into the living room with a bag of premade popcorn and his phone in the other hand. He reclaims his seat, offering you the bag. “ What results are you expecting from me?” He pops a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

You turn your body so you are now facing him between his legs. “Hm… I don't know. From everything I’ve learned about you here lately, I’d say maybe age play or brat.” You chuckle at him, grabbing your own handful of the salty snack.

Fear and confusion washes over his face. “Excuse me? What the fuck?” You can’t help but laugh at his reaction.

“I’m joking, Josh calm down. What is your top 5 on the list?”

He scans over his phone before beginning to read. “Okay so number one, I have dominant, of course. Number two brat tamer, three rigger, four degrader, and five masochists.” Damn. You didn’t know what to expect but it wasn’t that. “Was that what you were expecting?”

“Um… no, not really. I thought you were going to be pretty vanilla” You can feel your cheeks flush, embarrassment beginning to take over your body.

“Wow, I’m kinda offended. Your turn now.” He says with a cheesy smile.

“One is switch, number two degradee-”

“Switch?” Josh proclaims as he interrupts you, his eyebrows raising in shock.

You jokingly roll your eyes and continue sharing your results. “Number two degradee, number 3 brat, number four rope bunny, and five is primal prey.”

You were waiting for a witty response but he was speechless. You don’t know what he was expecting. “Josh, are you good?”

“Yeah it's just interesting to hear. But it's good to know you were turned on all the times I would call you a slut. ” He shoots a wink at you.

“You’re lucky that I find you attractive, or else I would have slapped you across the face.” You give him a little smile.

“Oh! So, you dooo find me attractive?” He says running a hand through his curly hair.

“You really needed me to tell you to know that?” You play at him.

“I thought we were ‘friends’ though? Being attracted to me makes me think we're not just friends y/n.” He places a hand on your thigh, squeezing it gently. A sharp shiver travels up your spine at his hand placement.

“I mean we're friends with benefits if that's how you wanna put it.” You give a poor attempt at trying to appease him, knowing you both wanted much more than to be just “friends with benefits”.

“Yeah but I think deep down you know you want me to be more than that, y/n.” He begins to move his body, hovering above deathly close to your face. “What do you want from me y/n? Is it just the sex, because I can give that to you. I’ll fuck you just how I’m going to fuck you tonight. But I know deep down you want me. Maybe you're just too scared to admit it, but I need you. I need you so fucking bad y/n, in more ways than one.” Your hands meet his hips, fingers playing with the waistband of his pajama pants.

“Let me take you to bed mama, and by the end of the night I want an answer. I can’t be teased any longer knowing if I can have you or not.” He whispers seductively into your ear. You can feel the pool forming in your panties just from his voice alone.

You moan lightly into his ear, as he scoops you up off the couch. He carries you down the hallway bridal style, pushing his bedroom door open with his foot, stumbling inside. He walks over, throwing your body down onto the bed.

“Strip.” He commands at you as he walks over to the closest.

“You too.”

He whips his head around. “Are you back talking? I know you're not stupid, don’t play with me. That's another strike mama.” You notice that he’s not empty handed anymore. He grips the thick black leather belt he was wearing earlier, walking right back over to you. You can’t help but let your eyes widen at the sight.

“Don’t act scared now, we both saw those results. Do you remember the colors?” He asks softly, taking off his shirt in the process leaving him in only his pants.

“Yes Josh.” You rip your pajamas off quickly, leaving you sitting completely bare on his bed.

“Good girl baby. Have you ever done this before?” He asks, sitting beside you then lifting you to be bent over his lap.

“No.” You say timidly.

“I strongly disbelieve that, but we’ll just take your word on it.” You feel the cool leather beginning to brush over your bare ass. “What color are you right now?”

“Green, very much green.” You quickly spit out, eager for his touch.

“Good, now I want you to count with me since you were a very bad girl. Can you do that mama?”

You can count to 5. “Yes Josh.”

“Sir, you call me sir.” He says sternly.

“Yes sir.” You say pathetically.

Without any warning you feel a hard slap on your ass. “Fuck” You recoil at the feeling.

He leans down to whisper into your ear, “That didn’t sound like a one to me, how about we try that again.” Again, the belt goes flying through the air landing another harsh crack against your ass cheek. “…One.”

“Good girl. Only four more to go.” He taunts you, but you can’t say it doesn’t turn you on even more.

Crack!

“Two”, you squeak out, your eyes shut tight. Your hands travel to his thigh gripping firmly onto his thigh as he lands a third hit to your ass. “Fuck, three…”.

“Fuck three!” He mimics you in a high pitch moan. “You hear how pathetic you sound?”

No way.

“As much as you're acting like you hate this, I know you like it. Such a fucking whore. You’re so wet right now, I can feel you soaking through my pants.”

With another whip of the belt your hands can’t help but clutch onto his bicep. “Four.” Your voice, no doubt, sounds so small. The final strike is the worst. It stings the hardest out of them all and you could barely get your words out. “…five. Fuck Josh.” Your eyes begin to water as you feel a few drops roll down your cheeks.

“Good girl baby. So glad to know you're not incompetent and can count. Now get up.”

As you struggle to get up from his lap you couldn’t help but also feel the pool between your legs, coating the insides of your thighs. He pulls his pants and boxers off at the same time, revealing his hardened cock.

“You see that mirror over there baby.” He points to the mirror centered in front of his bed. You nod not being able to get any words out. “First, you are going to get yourself on that bed, and then I am going to leash you, and your going to watch me fuck you like the whore you are. Got it?”

It was almost embarrassing how fast you got onto the bed. You stayed there on your hands and knees facing the mirror, watching him slowly make his way around to the back of you. He begins to put the belt around your throat.

“I’m not going to tighten it all the way, I don't need you dying on me. Lift your hand up if you need me to stop okay?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good baby.” He begins to line himself up with your core slowly pushing himself into you. His grip on the belt tightens, pulling your head up.

“Oh God, you fill me up so well Josh,” You choke out. He yanks the belt back a little more and slowly starts to thrust in and out of you.

“That I do, mama. You’re so fucking tight holy shit.” He begins to press into you harder. “Look at yourself, so beautiful.”

You look up into the mirror, making eye contact with him, and can’t help but moan at the obscene sight before you, your head falling down towards the bed, but Josh wasn’t having any of that. He lets go of the belt and grabs a chunk of your hair and pulls you back up. “I said, you are going to watch me fuck you. What's so hard to understand, you dumb bitch.”

He lets go of your hair and grabs the belt again, pounding into you harder and harder. Your tears pick up even more, rolling down your cheeks. “What a poor baby, do you feel so good?” Josh reaches around to your face, wiping the tears off your cheek, smearing your mascara in the process.

You were so incredibly turned on you couldn’t help but tighten around his cock as you begin to feel an orgasm creeping up on you.

“FUCK Y/N.” He pulls the belt hard, pulling you up to his chest. “Don’t do that shit or else you’ll get another strike.”

It’s almost like he’s begging for it. Without a second thought you squeeze around him again.

“FUCK.” Disregarding the belt, he slams you face first into the bed, grabbing your hips with both hands to give him more leverage. You feel heat radiating off your ass as Josh fucks his pelvis into the same spots he abused earlier with the belt.

“You can’t take this pussy Josh,” You clench around his dick again and this time he’s had it.

“I’ve had it with your shit, y/n.” His grip tightens around your hips, yanking you back to meet his thrusts harder. You feel his tip brush against your cervix, bringing you even closer to the edge. You knew you wouldn’t last much longer. “Josh I’m gonna cum.”

“What a surprise. I don’t care, because we're not done til I say we are.” His thrust never soften or stagger. He continues to assault your pussy.

“Josh I’m cumming oh my god.” You feel a wash of pleasure go over your body, but the thrusts don't stop. “Oh Josh stop, it's too much.”

“I don’t care. You're gonna take it.” He begins to get sloppy, knowing that he’s close to climax. “What color are you, baby?”

“Green.. Fuck Josh.” You see him smirk in the mirror knowing this is exactly what he wanted to happen. The pain of the overstimulation begins to turn into pleasure once more.

“Oh baby, your pussy feels so good. I’m going to cum so hard inside you, get you pregnant so no one else can have you.” His head tilts back, mouth wide open.

Holy fuck. You would be lying if that didn’t take you back a little, but it just turned you on that much more. Before you can get a word out you feel a shot of warm cum fill your pussy.

“Oh fuck mama. You feel so good, too fucking good.”

When he finally comes down he flips you onto your stomach, releasing your neck from the belt, trailing it down your body. “You think you can give me one more baby.” You feel the cool belt drag over your wet folds, along with a few light slaps.

He was going to be the death of you.

Not being able to help yourself you begin to grind up against the belt. He takes your hands above your head and begins to tie your hands together and wrap the belt around his bed frame. You feel his cum leaking out, as he leans his face down in between your legs. “Are you gonna stay still for me mama, be a good girl?”

You nod, feeling like you were on an entirely other planet with all the different sensations going through your body at the moment. He reaches up and slaps your face and grabs your neck. “Answer me y/n.”

“Yes Josh, I mean yes sir.” His hand releases and he makes his way back down between your legs. “I’m going to suck my cum out of you baby.”

With that, his head disappears between your thighs, licking a stripe through your folds. His face reappears and he sticks his tongue out for you, presenting his cum to you. He leans up, planting a quick kiss on your lips, followed by a deeper one licking into your mouth. You hum in pleasure of his taste on your tongue.

“Taste good, baby?” He gives you the prettiest smile.

“Mmm, so good,” You moan arching your chest against his. He smirks, going back down to eye level with your cunt. He begins with quick circles on your clit with his tongue. “I love your tongue, sir. Always making me feel so good.”

He doesn’t respond as he speeds up his licks, making you squirm beneath him. He pins your hips down with his arm, “ Stop fucking moving, or do I need to tie your legs down as well?”

You liked the idea, but needed to cum again. You shook your head furiously and kept your legs still.

He keeps lapping up your juices, bringing you closer and closer.

“I'm so close.” This feeling was different, much more powerful, but certainly not foreign. You feel little spurts coming out, and Josh picks up on it immediately.

“Soak my face, mama. Drown me.” His tongue attacks on your clit faster until you let go.

Josh’s mouth opens wide, desperately trying to catch every drop of your juices. It was a sight you never wanted to forget. He swallows it down and looks up at you, his face completely covered in your cum.

“You’re so fucking hot babe.” He reached up to release your wrists from the restraints. As your arms come down and hit the bed, pins and needles wash over them after being suspended in the air for so long.

You laid there silently in his chest for a while until you broke the silence. “Josh, did you mean what you said about getting me pregnant?”

“No, I don’t think getting you pregnant is a smart idea for either of us. But having you to myself was true. I need you badly y/n, and I hope I’ll have an answer soon on whether you want me too.”

“How about we go out to the living room, watch community and cuddle for a little, my head isn’t the clearest after all of that.” You offer, Josh can’t help but let out a chuckle before getting up to collect your clothing off the floor. He helps you back into your pajamas and then puts on his own.

You look in the mirror to see your mascara smudged and hair all knotted and messy. You don’t bother fixing it much because it was only you two there tonight. You rub the mascara away a little, still leaving you with makeshift eyeliner on your waterline.

You follow Josh out of his room and drag your feet back over to the living room. When you make it there you are met with a familiar face sitting at the couch on his laptop.

“Finally you’re done, I was gonna go back to my room but didn’t wanna have to hear her moaning. So fucking loud, by the way, what were you doing to her Josh?” With that he closes his laptop and saunters back to his room, closing the door behind him. You couldn’t dare look him in his eyes as he walked by. You can’t imagine how either of them feel at the moment.

You were a little embarrassed to learn that Jake had been sitting here, listening to your sounds of pleasure. Yet, some part of you was completely turned on by the fact he was able to hear everything. Every little moan, whimper, and whine, all caused by his brother.

You take a deep breath and sit back down next to Josh, and cuddle into his side. You look up at him and smile. “Ignore him, y/n. He’s probably just going to use that imagery to jerk off because he doesn’t get any.” You awkwardly laugh. Yep, definitely not getting any. You internally cringe.

You immediately forget about it though as Josh pulls you impossibly closer. You wrap your arms around his torso and snuggle your head into his chest.

“Hey Mama, look here for me,” Josh says to you. You look up again, into his beautiful coffee irises. He wipes under your eyes with his thumbs, swiping away the remaining smeared mascara. “There you go, sweetheart.” He seals his act of affection with a sugary, sweet forehead kiss.

You blush under his touch, grabbing his hand interlacing your fingers with his. You bring his hand up to your lips, reciprocating the kiss across his knuckles. You hear a little giggle leave his lips. “Wanna watch Community now?”

“Yeah… yeah we can, right after this”, He takes your face in his hands, bringing his lips to yours. You make a move to deepen it by slipping your tongue into his mouth. It wasn’t like the makeouts you had before, this one was tender and passionate. Your hands reach for his face, slipping them up into his loose curls. His roaming across your back, not going any farther than your waist band.

He pulls away for a moment, “You can’t do this to me and not be mine y/n. I need you to figure this out for my sanity.” His eyes, large and pouty. “I don’t think I could ever get over you, whether we become a thing or not.”

You realize the game you were playing is not something you can carry out any longer. You were never tied down to one person, but Josh was different. The way he made you feel could never compare to the many other guys you’ve been with. Your fling with Jake though had to be put to an end or else you could never make this work out with Josh.

“I can’t make that decision right now. I want you too, badly. I just need time to sort some things out, and tie together loose ends with some people.” Making it as vague as possible to not lead him to think it could be Jake. “I want to take things seriously and not lead people to think I’m going to be open for anything.”

Josh stares at you, half happy, half still frustrated that he didn’t get his way. “I understand babe, this isn’t the way for me to do it either. I want to make it official official. Not just force you into it on my couch. I’ll give you some time, but I know it's coming.” He sends a bright smile to you, finishing it off with a deep kiss.

You break away again, “Josh, I’ve never felt this way before, I was so confused for the longest time.” You grab onto his face gently rubbing your thumbs across his soft cheeks. He nuzzles his face into your hands.

“Same, Mama,” your lips reconnect and let them do the talking. You push him down to lay flat on his back, he looks back up at you with innocent eyes.

You resituate yourself to sit on his lower abdomen, and begin to grind lightly against his soft dick.

He grabs a hold of your hips and stills you, “Can’t we have a sweet moment y/n.” He says in a sarcastic tone, smirking up at you. “Or is fucking always on the mind.”

You act like you have to think about that for a moment, “Mmmm… maybe?” you chuckle leaning back in for the kiss.

“As much as I’d love a round two, Jake is home now. Can’t we just enjoy this moment together.” He says as he pulls you in for another quick kiss. “Maybe, when he’s asleep though…” He adds, with a dorky wink. You playfully shove his shoulder and then relax your head back onto his chest.

He reaches for the remote, turning on Community. After a few episodes, you both doze off, only waking up when Jake slams his bedroom door to go out to the kitchen. Josh not waking even once. You awaken again by another slam of the door, what the fuck is he doing? You look over at Josh, to see him still peacefully sleeping like a baby. What time is it even?

You quickly turn your phone over to check the time, still in a half-asleep daze. 2:15am. Definitely not a time to be slamming doors.

You see a new notification under your messages, Jake. You swore you deleted him from your messages earlier. You click on his name anyway to see what he could possibly have to say.

2:14am Jake: I know he’s asleep. Come to the bathroom now.

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@demonrat444 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jordie-gvf @jazzyfigz @slut4lando @gvfmarge @peaceloveunitygvf @jjwasneverhere @areuirish @mar-rein12 @woyayaofdreams @freyjalw @musicspeak @jennabobenasblog @do-it-jakey-baby @dannys-dream @terry-66

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - part 22 (finale)

Holy shit...now what?

Warnings: Fluff. Mentions of unsupportive family members. Thanks again to the Sims for determining the outcome of this pregnancy. Mentions of breast feeding (a fed baby is a happy baby, no matter where it comes from!). Mentions of being in pain and on pain killers (C-section). Hospital setting but it's not too obvious. Mention of drinking wine. Like one swear word. Not proofread (what a surprise). Word count: 4,256 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

This is it! The last chapter! Thank you again to everyone who has read, commented, and reblogged any parts of this fic along the way, even when I took a 3 month break. It's been an experience writing this, but I've enjoyed every second of it 😊

Also, the poll figures showed that you mostly thought the twins would be girls!

Part 21 ● Series Masterlist

The first thing you notice when you wake up is the sting in your abdomen from your Caesarean wound and fresh stitches, where the painkillers were starting to wear off.

The second thing you notice is that it’s still dark outside, meaning it’s either very late at night, or very early in the morning.

The third thing you notice is, although it’s dark out, your room is softly illuminated by a small lamp in one corner of the room. You see Santi sat in the chair in the corner, looking down at the bundle in his arms, who was sleeping soundly, the second bundle sleeping equally as soundly in the plastic hospital bassinet by you.

You slowly sit up in your bed, hissing at the pain in your abdomen. You see Santi from the corner of your eye look over at you, his brow furrowed in concern. “Do you need me to call for a doctor?” he whispered, still sounding too loud in the quiet room.

You shake your head. “No, I’m okay.” Santi nods at you before turning back to the baby in his arms. You watch them for a minute, a fond smile on your face before you ask, “Is she okay?”

Santi gives his own smile before nodding. “She was fussing a little, but she went right back to sleep.”

You nod, looking at your new family.

Your daughters (daughters!) came into the world screaming and kicking. Isabela María, named after Santi’s mother, was born at 7:03pm, weighing 5lbs and 7oz. Her identical sister, Jasmine Terese, followed no more than six minutes later, entering the world at 7:09pm at 6lbs exactly. Dr Montgomery was impressed with their weights and sang your praises as she held them over the partition to show you each time, and they were the most perfect things you had ever seen. You had immediately burst into tears as soon as you saw the two of them.

They both had a head of dark hair, thanks to their daddy, and even as they scrunched their little faces as they cried, you thought they were the most beautiful things to have ever graced your life. Once they were measured and checked over, and wrapped up in some blankets, Dr Montgomery had them brought over to you and Santiago (who had been quietly sobbing to himself, but you’ll pretend you never noticed until the day you died).

The next hour or so was a blur to you as you were stitched up and the twins were taken away to the NICU for monitoring, to see how well they were breathing. With some reassurance from yourself that you would be fine, Santi never left the girls’ sides, keeping a watch over them. You saw him sneak some photos of the girls on his phone, looking like a proud dad.

You were wheeled out of theatre and were heading back to you room where you sent a text message to your friends, explaining that your babies were sent for monitoring. Santi was with them, and if they wanted to wait, they could, but it might be better for them to come back tomorrow. Your friends came to see you anyway, just for a few minutes, where Beth was FaceTiming Gabrielle to keep her in the loop.

As soon as Beth and Courtney saw you, they burst into tears, making their way over to you and enveloping you in a hug, telling you how proud they were of you and how amazing you did. You fought back tears of your own, telling them that you had had girls, which they both somehow cried even harder at, commenting on how you were all convinced you were having boys.

After some more fussing, and Courtney gathering her things, they promised that they’d be back the next day to meet them, and they would bring you some food from home because they knew how terrible hospital food was. You give them a goodbye, telling them to let Santi’s friends know that he wasn’t going to be out for a while, to which Courtney said that Santi had already text his friends to let them know to come back in the morning, and the guys left not that long ago. Knowing them, they’d be back the next day too.

Santi was back within an hour of your friends leaving with Dr Montgomery, wheeling your girls (your girls!) in their bassinets. Dr Montgomery gave you a smile, telling you that your daughters were perfect, that there were no issues, and you would probably be home in the next few days. You thank her profusely, before you and Santi are finally left alone for the first time as a new family. Santi dressed the twins which took longer than it should have (“They’re delicate! Have you seen the size of them!?”), and your heart fluttered in your chest at seeing them in their little outfits, looking soft and cosy.

A breastfeeding consultant was sent to your room to guide you through your first feed with your daughters, who took to it like a duck to water. You wanted to cry with pride, since they were doing so well already, being barely two hours old. You saw Santi look away with a slight blush on his face, causing you to smirk and make a quip about how he’s seen you naked (to which he gave you a look before turning away again, to strip out of his scrubs). He made a comment about going getting his overnight bag from the car, and quickly making his way out.

You felt a little bad that he felt uncomfortable around you still, but it was something you would both just have to work on.

Which brings you to now, where you watch Santi from his place in the armchair, holding Isabela as she slept. You frown at him. “Have you gotten any sleep at all?”

Santi hesitates for a moment before shaking his head. “No, not yet.”

“Santi,” you gently chastise. “Put her down and get some sleep.”

He shook his head, looking up at you. “No, I’m fine. Besides, what if she needs me again?”

Oh, be still your beating heart.

“I’m sure she’ll wake us up if she needs anything, and Jasmine,” you say gently.

With a final look at Isabela, Santi gives a sigh before carefully standing and taking her to her bassinet. He stands at the bassinet for a moment, just looking at her before he gently places her down. She made the smallest whimper before settling back to sleep with a big sigh. He slowly moves her bassinet to join Jasmine’s, before stopping and looking down at them both.

Santi doesn’t move immediately, just staring at his daughters, before he finally breaks the silence in the room.

“I can’t believe I almost gave this up,” Santi said quietly, sadly, without looking away from your babies.

The air in the room suddenly felt heavy with the weight of Santi's confession. His voice, barely above a whisper, carried a mixture of regret and self-doubt as he uttered those words that seemed to hang in the air like a cloud of uncertainty, and you felt your heart break for him.

As you shook your head gently, your eyes met his. “Don't...don't think about that, okay?” you murmured softly, with a mixture of understanding and compassion. “You're here now.”

The silence lingered. Santi's gaze shifted, descending upon the tiny figures nestled in their bassinets, their innocence a stark contrast to the tumult of emotions swirling within him. “I was in special ops,” he says, his voice tinged with just the smallest hint of disbelief. “And that was less scary than this.”

Your heart ached at the raw honesty in his words, the admission of his innermost fears laid bare before you. With a sympathetic gaze, you say, “Being a new parent isn't something that people just know what to do,” you reassured him gently. “We'll learn as we go, and it's okay to be a little scared.”

As you looked at Isabela and Jasmine, a smile tugged at the corners of your lips, a beacon of hope amidst his darkness of doubt. “They'll be so happy you stayed,” you whispered, your voice filled with quiet conviction. “They're going to love you, so much.”

Just as much as I love you.

You swallow against the words, knowing now isn’t the right time.

A fragile smile graced Santi's lips at your words, where he gives you a quick glance before his gaze falls back on the sleeping forms of his daughters, the most fragile beings in the entire world. Damn, no-one warned him they’d be so tiny. They were so peaceful and asleep, and they were so small! They were the most fragile things in the world. There was no way he was letting anything happen to them. They had to stay little forever so he could do everything for them.

“I want to be the father they deserve,” he confessed, his voice tinged with a newfound resolve. “To be the man they can look up to.”

“You already are,” you assured him, your words almost stern. He looks up at you, his eyes intense. “I know you’re doubting yourself, but you’ve got a great support system; you have me, Frankie, Will, and God knows Benny is already in love with these two.”

Santi gave a snort of amusement. “He’s gonna cry as soon as he lays his eyes on them.”

You give a small laugh before looking at him again with a soft look on your face. “You know, when you left after saying you didn't want to be involved...it hurt. It hurt more than I can put into words," you began, your tone mix of vulnerability and strength. “I felt abandoned, alone, and completely overwhelmed, but I was determined to do it alone, for our girls.”

Santi tenses, a look of shame overcoming him, but you continue before he could say anything.

“But you came back," you say. “And for that, I'm incredibly grateful. I’m happy that you chose to step up, to be here, to be a father to our kids.” You smile at him, seeing his shoulders relax a touch. “Though I’m still a little pissed that you left, I'm also thankful that you came back. I’m glad that we can navigate this crazy, beautiful mess together.”

Santi give a small chuckle before he reaches out to you, and you reach out to hold his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I’m sorry, for leaving. For making you feel like that, after everything we’d been through to get here,” he said. “I’m going to live with the guilt for the rest of my life, but fuck, knowing I made the right decision to come back was so worth it.”

And in that moment, amidst the commotion of your new reality, you finally felt a sense of unity with Santi, even if it wasn’t in the way you wanted. You don’t know what the future held for the two of you, if you’d ever admit your feelings for him, of if you’ll eventually move on and find someone else, but despite that, you were bound together by the unbreakable bond of parenthood, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

However, in that fleeting moment, amidst the silence of the early morning hours in that hospital room, there was a small feeling of hope, slowly blossoming like a fragile flower.

“Watch her head, Benny.”

“I know how to hold a baby,” said Benny, giving Will a firm look before his expression softened as he looked down at Jasmine, who was sleeping soundly after you had just fed her and Isabela.

Isabela was settled in the arms of Frankie, who was lightly swaying as he grinned at the bickering brothers. Santi had left the room to take a phone call with his sister, Mariana, who had been checking up on him every few hours and was trying to organise a day where she and his other sister, Carmen, could come and visit and meet you and the kids. He was trying to put her off for at least a few weeks, until there was some sort of routine.

After your talk during the very early hours of the morning, Santi had decided to stay at your place, to help with the girls why you recovered, just until you were back on your feet. You’d protested, telling him that he really didn’t have to that, that you’d need him to do that, but he immediately shot you down. You tearily looked at him and thanked him, before Jasmine had started crying, to which Santi had no hesitation in picking her up.

“How you holding up?” Frankie asked you, still swaying Isabela. You weren’t sure if he knew he was doing it or not. “You know, after the whole…”

He goes quiet, nodding his head towards the door where Santi had walked out of. You smiled at him. “I’m doing okay. Glad he pulled his head out of his ass in time.”

Frankie grinned. “Took a bit of a verbal beating from us, after he told us he was leaving. The fucking idiot – oop, sorry.” He pulled a sheepish face as he looked down at Isabela, who had eventually fallen asleep during Frankie’s swaying.

You gave a small laugh of amusement as Benny looks up from Jasmine. “Your girls been yet?”

You shrug at him. “Just Beth. She came this morning with Georgia, they left not long before you got here. Gabs and Courtney are gonna come by later when Courtney’s finished work. Gabs has the kids again.”

Benny seemed to stop for a moment, in thought, before he finally nodded and turned back to Jasmine. You don’t ask him why he asked about your friends, you just assume he was being friendly since he was sat with Beth and Courtney in the waiting room last night.

When Beth had arrived that morning, she’d immediately fawned over your children, bursting into tears at how ‘beautiful they were’, and congratulating you and Santi. She’d even given Santi a hug, then threatened him to never leave you after the first time. He’d admitted he was an idiot, and it wouldn’t happen again. She’d accepted that answer, but still gave you a look as she picked up Jasmine for a cuddle.

After a while, as she and Georgia swapped the twins around, she’d asked about your family, and if you’d told them you’d had the babies. You paused before you eventually shake your head at her, telling her that they hadn’t bothered to respond to your messages or contact you at any point during your pregnancy, so you decided to just…let it go.

Even if it tore you up inside.

At least you weren’t crying about it anymore.

Beth had pulled a face and told them it was their loss anyway, that they’re going to be missing out on knowing the best little girls around. You agreed with her.

Santi made his way back in the room, hanging up his phone. He sighed, before running his hand through his hair. “So my sisters will be arriving next week.”

“Ay, hermano,” said Frankie, smirking. “Grow a backbone.”

Santi wordlessly gave Frankie a gentle swat on the arm, being careful of Isabela, before leaning down to you and giving you a quick peck on the forehead. “Sorry I was gone so long, corazón, Carmen wouldn’t get off the phone.”

You ignored how your heart leaped at the feel of his lips on you. You weren’t going to think too hard about it, it was just because of the babies, it has nothing to do with you. You’re the mother of his kids, he’s going to be affectionate with you, especially when you had just given birth. He was just being nice. Protective.

Like you said, you weren’t going to think too much about it.

“I’ll get her and Mariana to stay at my place,” he said.

“You don’t have to stay at my place, Santi, really – “

“No, stop fighting me on this, I’m helping out with the girls.” Santi gave you a stern look. “You can barely walk, I’ll stay, it’s fine.”

Frankie gives you an amused look over Santi’s shoulder, and you felt the urge to stick your tongue out at him. You end up looking back at Santi, before giving a shy smile. “Okay.”

He grins at your relenting. “Thank you. I’m trying to make it up to you for being a dick to you, but you’re being too nice.”

“You weren’t – “

“No, he was,” said Will before you could finish your sentence, crossing his arms over his chest. “He was a dick.”

“The biggest,” agreed Benny, looking away from Jasmine to nod at you.

“Okay, okay,” Santi called, holding his hands up in surrender. “Not in front of my girls, please.”

You watch in amusement as Santi get’s ribbed by his friends, but he gave just as good as he got.

As the banter between Santi and his friends continues, you can't help but feel a warmth in your chest, seeing the camaraderie and genuine connection they share. Despite the teasing and playful jabs, there's an underlying bond that speaks volumes about their friendship. You know that your girls were going to grow up to be the most protected kids in the world.

In that moment, you realize how far you’ve come in the past few months; to an unplanned pregnancy and finding the love of your life (even if he doesn’t know it), and growing yourself as a person (and growing two persons of your own!). As you gaze around the room, your heart swells with gratitude for the connections forged in the unlikeliest of circumstances. How you truly know who your family is, and a part of them are in this very hospital room.

The guys leave after another hour, telling you that they were happy to help you out whenever you needed, before they were herded out the door by Santi, saying you needed rest since your friends were arriving later.

You bask in the suddenly quiet room after Santi closes the door after him. You look at Isabela and Jasmine asleep in their bassinets. Santi soon came back in the room, smiling softly at you before checking over the girls. “You okay?” he eventually asked you, digging around in his bag for a moment.

“Yeah. Tired,” you replied.

“Get some sleep, I can look after them,” said Santi. “But first…”

He pulled out a familiar paper bag from his bag, and a small box. You look at him curiously. “Is that the bag that Frankie bought?”

“After Ikea? It is,” he said, perching himself next to you on the bed. He passed you the bag. “I had these commissioned by Sarah when I found out we were having girls, which was why you couldn’t look at them. Then when we finally decided on names, I had her change them a little.”

You open the bag, pausing before tears fill your eyes. You give him a watery smile before you pull out the two matching, pale pink, and lavender patchwork blankets, decorated with embroidered white and yellow flowers. You run your fingers over the stitching, feeling how soft the blankets were. You look over them before your gaze lands on the bottom corner, where you trace your fingers over their names that had been embroidered in the corners. “Santi, these are gorgeous. I’m scared to use them!”

“Stop, they’re supposed to be used,” he said. “Even if they puke all over them, or other bodily fluids.”

You laugh at that.

“And these,” he said, handing you the box. “Are for you.”

You take the box, which fit in the palm of your hand. You recognised it immediately, and you opened them to see the two charms, in the letters I and J, with a red gemstone in each of them.

“Garnets,” he said.

“January birth stone,” you said, smiling at him as you wipe the tears from your eyes. You laugh at yourself. “I am far too emotional for you to be giving me things like this.”

“Stop, I planned to give these to you, I want to give these things to you,” he said. “I need you to understand that I made a bad judgement and a stupid mistake, and I’ll be trying to make things right for the rest of my life, for you and our girls. You’re important to me.”

You swallow against your tears, but you sob anyway, giving a watery smile. “You’re important to me too.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, bringing you into his arms gently.

And you believed him.

“Careful, careful!”

“I am being careful, Santi,” you say, making your way towards your house from his car (his car!).

“I’m going to have to level these flags out, they’re a trip hazard – “

“You will do no such thing, Santiago, not with your knees,” you say to him, raising your eyebrows at him, daring him to challenge you.

He mutters something in Spanish as he carries the car seats containing your girls, who had fallen asleep from the movements of the car, to your front door, where he unlocked it and stepped in.

You had finally been discharged from the hospital, and you were able to go home. It had been a trying afternoon, with lots of tears as you tried to manoeuvre yourself with a C-section wound, and two very needy babies who just wanted to be on you all the time. You had to take a time out getting to the wheelchair, where Santi did his best to calm the girls, and to calm you.

Eventually, you made it out of the hospital and into Santi’s car, where he’d wrestled a little bit with the car seats before finally having the girls secure safely in the back of the car. Once you were settled in, Santi proceeded to drive well under the speed limit on the way back to your house. He glared at anyone who even gave him a funny look for driving so slowly, which made you giggle and make the quip that he could drive a bit quicker.

“No,” he’s said firmly. “You’re delicate, and they’re delicate. I am not driving any faster.”

You followed Santi into your house, where he was taking the girls out of their car seats. Gabrielle had been over to your house that morning, on your request, to arrange your house a little for your arrival. She’d bought some playmats down from the girls’ bedroom, and set up their bassinets in the living room so you didn’t have to tackle the stairs as soon as you got home.

Santi settled your babies in the bassinets before sighing, seemingly glad that everyone was safe and sound. “I’ll go and get our bags from the car, and we can have some dinner. What are you in the mood for?”

“Sushi,” you reply with no hesitation.

Santi gives an amused snort before nodding. “Sushi it is.”

“And I might have a teeny tiny glass of wine,” you say, grinning. “Just a small one.” You put your thumb and forefinger together, with just a tiny gap between them.

Santi laughs. “You deserve it.”

He disappeared outside, getting the bags from the car. You gently lower yourself down on your couch, sighing in relief as you get off your feet. Dr Montgomery had prescribed you some painkillers for you C-section for as and when you needed, and you know it’s going to be a tough recovery but with Santi’s help, you’re sure you’ll be fine.

He comes back in the house, laden with bags, before he sets them down by your front door, and closes it. He takes a look around your living room properly, saying, “You’ve made this place pretty nice.”

“I had a lot of time on my hands last week,” you say. “I needed something to do.”

Santi nodded, before his eyes drift over to Jasmine, who started fussing in her bassinet. As you went to stand, he gently placed his hand on your shoulder and pushed you back down, before pulling his phone from his pocket, handing it to you. “Here, have a look at what you want to eat, I’ll settle her.”

You take his phone and thank him as he made his way over to Jasmine, cooing at her, asking her what’s wrong as he lifted her from her bassinet. He set about to change her diaper. You scroll through the food app for a moment before your eyes drifted over to him, admiring him without his knowledge.

You felt happy. Content. This wasn’t what you imagined your life would turn out like, and sure, you and Santi did things a little unconventionally, but you wouldn’t change a thing. Everything worked out in the end, even if Santi did have a wobble about becoming a dad, even if your feelings for him will go unsaid and kept to yourself. You were okay with that, as long as he was there for your girls.

You sigh as you smile at the scene before you, of Santi telling Jasmine about his early days in the army, how he met Uncle Frank, and how loved they already were. Even though you did everything backwards with Santi and your girls, you look forward to the next chapter of your life and couldn’t wait to see what it brought.

Tagged - @khonsulockley, @superficialfeelings, @othersideoftheparadise, @beezusvreeland, @itsmytimetoodream