#32 isn’t old but it is for sports

[coochiequeens]

Within one week Australia gave us this guy

and now there’s this guy

A trans-identified male has taken home the championship at the Australian Women’s Classic golf tour which took place at the Bonvile Golf Resort in New South Wales this weekend.

Breanna Gill, a trans-identified male, made off with a women’s professional golfing trophy and a large cash prize. While WPGA Tour of Australia stated that it was Gill’s first professional win, he has dominated competitions in the past. In 2019, Gill was named the New Zealand Professional Women Golfers Trust Pro-Am champion.

The year prior, in 2018, Gill was named the “first woman” to win an official women’s professional golf tournament held in the South Pacific Islands after taking home the Pro-Am title at the New Caledonia Deva Golf Resort.

On Twitter, WPGA Tour of Australasia posted multiple photos of Gill holding the prize, and even changed their Twitter account header to a picture of Gill, but were met with overwhelming backlash as users piled into their replies to denounce them for allowing a male to participate in the women’s tournament.

Some name-dropped Danni Vasquez, the female golfer who placed second, as the “true winner” of the competition. Vasquez and Gill were in stride throughout the match, and the winner was ultimately decided after they faced each other in a sudden death playoff.

WPGA Tour of Australasia quickly locked down their replies section as negative sentiment flowed in, preventing public comments. The users who had been able to slip in their replies before the setting was changed on the tweet have since all had their comments “hidden” by WPGA Tour of Australasia.

“Why are men allowed in women’s sports? Why has a woman been cheated of her prize,” Haringey ReSistersasked as one of the few users who had been able to leave comments prior to WPGA Tour of Australasia turning their replies off. 

“This is not fair. Keep men out of women’s sport,” Speak Up For Women responded.

“This is cheating you are allowing someone with a known male physical advantage to steal females prizes [and] prize money that should be theirs! It’s sex discrimination [and] shameful inequality in sport, a physical activity,” Olympian Sharron Davies added in a quote-retweet.

Riley Gaines, a spokeswoman for the Independent Women’s forum and an accomplished All American swimmer, also brought attention to Gill’s trophy-kissing photo, condemning WPGA Tour of Australasia with a cutting remark. 

“Who’s surprised a male is being recognized as the ‘winner’ in the women’s category… you’re right @WPGATour, real nerves of steel,” Gaines wrote.

As of the writing of this article, there are over 2,600 overwhelmingly negative quote-retweets compared to just 95 ‘likes’ on WPGA Tour of Australasia’s tweet about Gill. 

Women’s athletic competitions have become a major issue in the debate on gender ideology and its impact on women.

The issue mounted in public attention after a trans-identified male swimmer, Lia Thomas, began breaking women’s records and winning medals intended for female athletes in 2021. Since then, there have been several instances of trans-identified male athletes taking the podium in women’s sporting events. But multiple cases of resistance by female athletes and their allies have also been recorded.

Last week, Reduxx reported that a male powerlifting coach in Canada self-identified into a women’s category in order to mock the gender self-identification policies. Avi Silverberg, a powerlifting expert who has worked with Team Canada, participated as a woman at the Heroes Classic Powerlifting Meet held in Lethbridge, Alberta, in order to highlight the unfair advantage males have when competing in women’s athletics.

In February, a young women’s basketball team made international headlines after withdrawing from their state tournament in protest of a trans-identified male being on the opposing team. The Mid Vermont Christian School Eagles (MVCS) forfeited their playoff game against the Long Trail School Mountain Lions (LTS) after learning that LTS star player Rose Johnson is male, and have since been banned from participating in state competitions.

While fairness and opportunity have been cited as primary causes of the backlash against “inclusive” sport policy, others have also noted that women or girls competing against male athletes would be at higher risk for injury. 

Last week, thousands of complaints were submitted to Football New South Wales in Australia after a trans-identified male reportedly left multiple female players injured after competing in the female leagues. One female player allegedly had to seek medical attention as a result of her injuries.

After some digging I found that it’s another older man in women’s sports

While Danni is within that range Gill is 32

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Leave My Wife Alone (Art Donaldson)

Description: Y/N wants to Retire but Tashi isn’t okay with that.

Word Count: 753

Request: If you’re still taking requests could you write a fic for Art Donaldson pls: where he’s married to the reader who is a retired tennis player who Tashi became a huge fan of during college, when YN retires Tashi becomes bitter that she did and tries to pressure her into coming out of it, and it makes Art so upset that he confronts her about her about bothering his wife and her obsession with her life

Y/N Donaldson was a famous name through Tennis. Well Y/N Y/L/N was but when her and Art got married she changed her last name to his. The Donaldsons. They both were big tennis players, loved throughout the community. Tashi Duncan was Y/N’s biggest fan. They met in College and Y/N was surprised that when she faced off against Tashi she was a good sport about it.

Tashi was known for not being a good sport but since she was a huge Y/N fan she was honored. Thus began the friendship that they have now. Tashi and Y/N always talked about Tennis. It was their favorite Topic. When Y/N and Art got married Tashi was her maid of honor. “I want to retire.” She told Art as they ate dinner. Art was playing a challenger so they were at a luxury Hotel. “Are you sure?” He asked. She nodded.

“Yup. I’m 32 years old. I think this is it for me and I want to start a family.” The last part made him smile. Art always wanted kids but figured it would be best to wait for the right time. “Whatever you do I’ll support. I just don’t know about Tashi.” Tashi was gonna be heartbroken. “Well I’m sure she’ll understand.” Y/N said not believing her own words. “Will she though?” Art asked unsure. “I mean you’re still playing.” “Yeah but she doesn’t care about Art Donaldson, she cares about Y/N Donaldson.”

She smiles at the use of his last name after her first. She loved it. “I will tell her when the time is right.” Y/N said and got up with her plate. No time was right. They both knew that. As she was washing her plate she felt Art behind her. His breath was hitting her neck, “So is it too early to start thinking about a baby?” He asked. She giggled and turned around to face him, “Never.” She said and kissed him. He lifted her up onto the table and smiled against her lips. 

“So I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I want to retire.” She shut her eyes tight after she Tashi. Tashi felt the world stop. This was her biggest fear. Since she couldn’t play Tennis anymore, Y/N was her way in. “No. You can’t.” She said. “Tashi, I’m 32 now and I want a family.” “You have a family. You don’t need to quit Tennis for that.” Y/N looked at her as she ranted. “I mean you’re the best Tennis player right now, why stop now?”

“Tashi I understand but-” “If I could still play I would. I would have never thrown it away.” “Tashi I’m not throwing it away. Wait, is that what this is about? You can’t play Tennis so I should?” “No, I just think you still have a lot of years left in you.” “Art is still playing.” Y/N said. “Art is nowhere near as good as you are. I care about Y/N Donaldson not Art Donaldson.” 

Art was pissed. He knew that Tashi was going to be this way but he still had a little hope that she would be a good friend. “I mean she said that you shouldn’t quit because she never got the chance to play like this?” He asked. “It was implied.” Art was so mad at Tashi for implying that. It was sickening. He was wide awake when Y/N went to sleep. He stared at the ceiling as he thought about what Tashi said to his wife. How could she? Y/N was a great player but she deserved to be happy and not have Tennis be her life forever.

He got up quietly and took his phone with him. He went to Tashi’s contact and hit call. He waited as it rang. “Hello?” She answered. “Listen, I understand that you didn’t get your big dreams of Tennis but that does not mean Y/N has to suffer for it. What you said today was so uncool and you aren’t a very good friend.

You only care about Tennis and you are so obsessed with her career that it’s gonna kill you when she retires because you’ll have nothing left. You only care about one thing and it’s Tennis not her well being or anything like that. Just Tennis. It’s Pathetic Tashi.” He said and hung up the phone. He sighed and went back to the bedroom. He got in bed and could actually fall asleep. Though he wasn’t ready for what Tashi was gonna say tomorrow.

[moominsuki]

early 20s bakugou and early 20s you meeting the both of you in a decade’s time… you both aren’t particularly close in the present - you orbit around the same friendship groups and katsuki isn’t exactly opening his arms to a warm hug, receptive to your qualms. he has little time for his friends and even less time for new people in his life.

barely eat, sleep, work, repeat. that’s how it is for him after the war and it’s weird knowing him during this stage. he’s still the some snarly, full of bite and venom bakugou from school but sometimes, you can see the lack of sparkle in his eyes when he speaks: when he’s out on patrol with you and he no longer has the energy to snap back at naysayers and snotty nosed kids. he does his job and then he clocks out. simple as that. relationships? dating? they’re not even in his vocabulary.

so it’s easy to imagine the shock in his - both of your faces when he sees 32-33 year old bakugou on the television and the way he is a decade later is antithetical to how he is now. his old personality still shines through (it’s still HIM) but he smiles genuinely when he meets fans now, and the sparkle in his eyes is there all over again - the cheeky sparkle, the one that made you fall for him.

it’s hard to imagine a life in which you’re married to him (self proclaimed mrs bakugou in an architectural digest interview, showing the cameramen around your house while sporting a third trimester bump and gushing over your state of the art kitchen with a fancy le creuset set and an aga that katsuki and friends built for you with their bare hands as a birthday gift) though, it’s probably because the bakugou you know doesn’t even know the bakugou in this timeline. he doesn’t know the bakugou that would joke all carefree and then openly kiss your forehead in the middle of the street.

he doesn’t tell you he wants to know this bakugou.

you guys eventually get back to your timeline, in the present, the one that in which bakugou sneers and he barely eats and doesn’t even know what day of the week it is. it’s only a few, long months later when it’s your birthday and he buys you a gift card for le creuset. he says it’s because you seem to like shitty things like kitchen sets and pots and pans and it doesn’t make sense to him because “they’re all the same shit at the end of the day.��

you laugh a watery laugh that day, tears unshed at his words, though you’re not offended - far from it. you think you can come to love bakugou and you’re excited for when that time will come, no matter how long it may take.

[universe-friday]

EXCERPT #32:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[…]

I did it… I think I did it, old sport…

I went through every single letter… Over, and over… Trying to find a link between the abandoned words on these papers.

It seemed that, no matter what I did, the words would never quite work out. Sentences would suddenly end, I would get so far just for no more letters to make sense… The grammar was never logically working in my favour.

Until… The most obvious thing, old sport, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner.

You have to layer them… Of course you have to layer them!

Starting with the first letter, “R, I want to stay. But they’re making me go, I’m so sorry. I love you… This isn’t right,” right from where this one ends, another letter continues, “Writing these letters,” another continues, “…just isn’t right.” You get the idea.

I’ve just finished putting them together… I haven’t read it yet, I thought we should do this together, old sport.

Here we go…

“R, I want to stay. But they’re making me go, I’m so sorry. I love you… This isn’t right.

Writing these letters… just isn’t right.

I hope you figure out this code.

Sorry for the complexities.

This group… They’re just like the government, this undercover group that monitors the City. But they do a much better job…

They’re stronger… More powerful…

They exist beyond the government’s power, without their knowledge.

I did one small favour for them… one. But they never take the risk of word getting out about them.

It’s why I must leave.

They’re recruiting me, and I have to take the job.

It will be good for me, but I only wish you could come. But I have to protect you.

You cannot let them know that you know. They will come for you.

But especially be careful with that radio of yours, Radio… They could be listening.”

Shit- [Radio static].

[louisupdates]

Review: Louis Tomlinson rocks Brisbane River Stage with Faith in the Future world tour

Louis Tomlinson ignited the Brisbane River Stage on Tuesday night, blending One Direction nostalgia with his new Indie-Pop hits, at the second Australian show of his Faith in the Future world tour.

Molly Snaylam | January 31, 2024 - 7:49AM

Courier Mail AU

Former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson took Brisbane’s River Stage by storm on Tuesday night, at his second show of three in Australia, as part of the Faith In The Future World Tour.

The 32-year-old singer performed to thousands of screaming and adoring fans, with some wearing their almost vintage-looking Directioner merchandise and others in Louis’ Brisbane tour T-shirts.

Tomlinson first performed in Brisbane with One Direction on their Take Me Home tour in 2013 and on Tuesday established himself as an independent Indie-Pop/Brit Rock artist, “making the music he wants to make”.

As the lights went down the crowd came alive with excitement as the band kicked in to accompany him for The Greatest, the opening track to his 2022 album Faith in the Future.

Tomlinson charismatically introduced himself to the crowd, not shying away from profanity, as he welcomed the audience to his tour, “It’s f---king hot tonight isn’t it Brisbane, we’re going to have a great time!” Tomlinson said.

“This scale and size of a show like this absolutely blows my f---king mind, I can feel this is going to be a special night,�� he said.

The setlist was a perfect blend of his solo hits, fan favourites, and some surprises, showcasing the evolution of his music.

Tomlinson’s vocals were on point as he effortlessly transitioned from powerful anthems to more intimate moments.

The live arrangements brought a new dimension to familiar tracks, making them feel fresh and dynamic.

Throughout the night, it was clear Tomlinson has veered from his prior pop status and has embraced a ‘mod’ and rock feel with his new music, this was confirmed by him including a cover of the Arctic Monkeys' eerie smash hit 505.

His casual and cheeky northern Brit personality shone through as he sported a black singlet and grey joggers, showing off his iconic tattoos.

He was sure to interact with fans as he wandered around the stage, even taking selfies and posing with his band for a photo in front of the audience.

The relationship between Tomlinson and his fans is noticeably gratuitous and nostalgic, with in tears and others moshing with wide smiles as they danced the night away.

As a major One Direction fan myself – especially during my teenage years, I can appreciate the impact Tomlinson has had on the many young music lovers, who attended his show, during their adolescent years.

Witnessing his fans singing along to every tune, old and new, brought back fond memories of when I saw him perform with One Direction in 2013, seeing the fans who have grown up with his music and the worldwide hype of the band took me back to that night.

Tomlinson’s ability to convey vulnerability and strength resonated with fans, creating an intimate atmosphere in one of the city’s largest outside venues.

His casual, yet captivating stage presence and soothing vocals memorised the audience throughout the show.

Tomlinson said the goal of his Faith In The Future tour was to create a “great live experience on the next tour”, a goal he certainly fulfilled on Tuesday night.

The concert was a testament to his connection with his fans, leaving them eagerly anticipating what the future holds for his music.

FULL ARTICLE

[the-art-of-sanshoku]

Manga Recommendations from Things I Read in 2023

I wanted to make an end of the year post highlighting things I read last year and want others to know about! I tried focusing on manga that don't have anime adaptions (although a few of these are getting ones soon) and covering a variety of genres. Anyway, let's get right into it with:

Ikoku Nikki (Tomoko Yamashita)

Status: Complete, 54 Chapters, unlicensed - complete fan translation (Note: When I say something is licensed or not this only refers to having an English release.)

Genre: Josei, SOL, Drama

Synopsis: After the loss of her parents, 15 year old Asa finds herself in the custody of her aunt Makio Koudai. Makio, the introverted novelist, has no experience with children but will do what she can for Asa.

While this isn’t an ordered list I will start with what is probably my favorite manga I read this year. Ikoku Nikki is a very cathartic read for me as there are a lot of adult characters who are just trying to figure things out (although this also applies to the teen characters, but it’s just more relatable with the characters closer to my age). Figuring out how to like yourself even when you don’t fit to society's “norms”, figuring out how to process traumas from growing up that still affect you well into your 20s and 30s and beyond, figuring out how to love others, figuring out who “you” even are.  And it’s written and worded so lovely and deliberately that sometimes it says something and just puts into words a feeling you’ve had for forever but were never able to express and all of a sudden it just makes sense.

The cast is diverse and I think everyone can find someone to relate to. There are neurodiverse characters, and characters that widely spread the LGBTQIA + spectrum. But they don’t feel trope-y or anything, they’re just well fleshed out and well realized people. Ikoku Nikki just has a very “understanding” vibe that is just comforting to read and be seen by media. In a way it was a little of a life changing (life affirming?) read for me and I highly recommend it to anyone, and I pray it gets an official English release in the future so I can add it to my collection and support the author properly.

Tenkaichi: Nihon Saikyou Bugeisha Ketteisen (Yousuke Nakamaru & Kyoutarou Azuma)

Status: Releasing, 32 Chapters, unlicensed - ongoing fan translation

Genre: Action, Battle Royale, Seinen

Synopsis: 16 historical figures participate in a grandiose tournament of 1v1 battles to determine Nobunaga’s successor

On the opposite end of the manga spectrum we have Tenkaichi, which is just a very fun read. And sometimes I feel kind of crazy how little I’ve seen this talked about online by anyone, as it’s a super quality battle manga. It feels like a manga written by battle manga lovers for battle manga lovers, and in the author’s notes you can see this to be true. They love unpredictable battles with over the top powers and larger than life characters and they deliver. Tenkaichi lacks a “main character” so every fight feels like either side could win and I have even been surprised by a few outcomes of the battles. And even without a main character, the characters that exist are just super cool and easy to pick one to root for. They also usually become a bit more fleshed out via backstories so they’re not super shallow either. The art, paneling, and character designs are also really good, if you like fighting manga at all check this out.

Medalist (Ikada Tsuruma)

Status: Releasing, 36 Chapters, licensed 

Genre: Sports, Drama, Seinen

Synopsis: A cinnamon roll coach and his cinnamon roll student aim to make her a gold medalist level skater

Medalist is a classic underdog story that is really elevated by its superb main characters and art. Inori and Tsukasa are a very silly and endearing duo, but are also incredibly dedicated and hardworking that make them impossible not to root for. Their relationship and belief in each other really forms the core of the manga. The art can be really funny with silly faces, but also really intense and beautiful to capture the figure skating and emotions of the skaters pouring their blood, sweat, and tears into their work. Each competition feels really thrilling and has you on the edge of your seat, and it does a good job of getting into the specifics of the scoring so you can follow along. It’s inspirational in the way that great sports manga are, it just makes you want to work hard to become someone you can be proud of.

Souboutei Kowasubeshi (Kazuhiro Fujita)

Status: Complete, 250 Chapters, unlicensed - complete fan translation

Genre: Supernatural, Horror, Action, Shounen

Synopsis: A lovecraftian mansion poses a threat to Japan. To handle this, a team of supernatural/paranormal/spiritual experts are sent in along with - a scrungly artist?

Kazuhiro Fujita is a mangaka that I feel is super underrated in the west. Despite getting anime adaptations of 2 of his works in Ushio to Tora and Karakuri Circus (although the Karakuri adaption was not the best unfortunately), I feel that these were overlooked and he doesn’t really get talked about. Which is a shame because I think he’s a really great mangaka. He’s been around since the 90’s, and you can tell through his artstyle and storytelling style. Despite Souboutei coming out in 2016 it still feels very old school shounen, but this isn’t a bad thing at all. Fujita’s manga are full of heart and his artwork really exaggerates faces and body language to communicate the character’s feelings. I like his manga a lot because from the start it will often tell you “the big bad” and the whole manga will build up this antagonist until a satisfying end and climax. It doesn’t introduce new threats, or powerscale indefinitely, or pad its runtime with unnecessary filler, it starts - brings you through an emotional rollercoaster of twists and turns - and then ends.

Souboutei is no different in this regard. It builds and builds on the primary antagonist (in this case the mansion of Souboutei) and its mysteries to make a journey full of intrigue where you want to keep turning the page to find out more. The mansion is also a great setting that becomes a character in its own right, a twisting labyrinth full of malice and various horrors. Fujita also always makes a unique cast of characters with varied motivations, ages, character designs, and abilities that make each memorable and likeable. Fujita also likes to make every little detail count and sometimes add to the main plot where you least expect. Being a shounen there’s also plenty of action, and his battles feel creative and the abilities are inventive to make for some exciting fights. Souboutei has a bonus for the main character being an artist and having large themes on passion and creation and “what is art” that gave me an extra layer of enjoyment. Also it must be said that Sakamaki Deido would totally be a hit as a tumblr sexyman if this manga had any fanbase at all. But whether you read Souboutei or one of his other works, I hope you give Fujita a try.

Rojica to Rakkasei (Kinome)

Status: Complete, 25 Chapters, unlicensed - has complete fan translation

Genre: Fantasy, Comedy, SOL, Seinen

Synopsis: The titular characters Rojica and Rakka spend wacky days in their wacky world.

Rojica to Rakkasei is a breath of fresh air with a fantasy world that’s just plain weird and unique. A lot of manga fantasy lately feel like derivative goblins and dragons and slimes type worlds in medieval european-esque settings. Not Rojica though, it kind of feels almost like surreal and absurdist manga, but doesn’t go quite that far so it’s easier to follow as a series of episodic adventures. It’s a short, creative read that I enjoyed from start to finish. 

Witch Hat Atelier (Kamome Shirahama)

Status: Releasing, 74 Chapters, licensed

Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, Drama, SOL, Seinen

Synopsis: In this world there are people born as witches who can wield magic to help others. Or at least that’s what the world is made to think. After one fateful day, ordinary girl Coco, will learn the truth behind magic and become a witch apprentice.

Speaking of refreshing fantasy worlds, Witch Hat Atelier is a wonderful manga with great worldbuilding and setting. The “magic system” used in the manga is unique and feels very naturally woven into the world and society. This magic is harshly regulated and has many rules of its use, but Witch Hat Atelier lives by the creed “restrictions breed creativity” to create interesting solutions to difficult scenarios. The characters are delightful, focusing more on a younger cast of aspiring and bright girls who aim to become witches proper. Their struggles to make a magic unique to them and find their own voice in society make them a relatable bunch. Kamome Shirahama’s artsyle and paneling is also to die for, I love just looking at this manga. This manga isn’t all just school life and rainbows though, there’s a dark undercurrent to the story in the form of the antagonists the “Brim Hats” that bring some extra excitement and thrill to the story as well.  Just a brilliant manga. Also the only manga with my little meow meow Qifrey

Orb: On the Movements of the Earth (Uoto)

Status: Complete, 62 Chapters, recently licensed

Genre: Historical, Drama, Seinen

Synopsis: We’re studying heliocentrism! But it’s the 1400s…

A manga that really touched me on its themes of legacy, and passing knowledge down to new generations. This manga focuses on the secret studies of those who look at the stars and dare to challenge the current knowledge of the world. It takes place in Poland, which is a rather unique setting, in the 1400s. The constant threat of the inquisitors is felt at all times and our characters are left to question if this pursuit of knowledge is worth the weight of risk. What is the worth of my life? What is my purpose? What does it mean to be fulfilled? Philosophical, romantic (in a literary sense), and profound, this manga stands out among the crowd.

Futari Ashita mo Sorenari ni (Suzuyuki)

Status: Complete, 87 Chapters, recently licensed

Genre: Romance, Comedy, SOL, Seinen

Synopsis: Long term couple moves in together - fluff ensues

This is likely my favorite romance manga as it is one of the few to depict fluffy domestic life with your partner. Finding manga that deal with established relationships can be hard, but to find one about a healthy romance where the characters just live together and love each other and feel like adults and not the blushy “oooh she h-hh-holding my hand??” teenager mentality is a super fresh and nice thing to read (although I like those kinds of romances too, it’s just a bit oversaturated of a market comparatively). It’s a feel good romcom SOL with pretty much zero drama which some people may not like, but it had me grinning from ear to ear like a madman the whole time. If you like cute domestic fluff it’s a must read. Doesn’t overstay its welcome and has a great ending.

I have some more manga I want to talk about, but this post is pretty long so there will maybe be a part 2 ^.^

[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 9 Ep 32: Beau's Burger

Beau left the nightclub after his fight with Luigi cursing under his breath. Who would have guessed that plumhole was so strong!? Now his wrist complained bitterly whenever he bent it at any angle, and Beau couldn’t afford problems like that, in multiple ways for multiple reasons.

He hadn’t had a chance to grab a bite to eat at the club and now he was starving on top of everything else. Considering his nearly empty fridge at home he turned towards the first burger joint he saw. Greasy fast food wouldn’t fix his hand, but it beat scrounging up scraps back at his place.

---------------------------------------------

He arrived and spun out of his costume, with its tight gloves that were pinching his swollen wrist. Heading up to the register he ordered his favorite deluxe burger combo from the pretty cashier. He even added a mint chocolate milkshake, figuring he could hold it against his forearm to numb the pain.

When he heard “Order Up!” Beau eagerly grabbed his tray only to almost spill his shake when he had to drop it back down on the counter. His injured wrist had felt like it was ripping in half when he used it. He let loose with a string of forbidden words, startling the other sim.

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He started to ask her to bag his meal up so he could carry it home one handed and suffer in private, but she surprised him by grabbing the tray herself.

She called over her shoulder: “Taking my break, be back in 15” as she strode around the counter to the foggy eyed Beau. He could only give her a weak thankful smile as she led the way to a table by the window saying, “This is my favorite spot, it’s got a can’t miss view of the laundromat”.

He sat down where she placed his tray and took a bite of his burger, looking up with surprise as she slid in across from him. “Thank you…?” he said as he squinted at her name badge. “Breanne”, she replied, “and you’re welcome. Waving at his arm she continued “if you don’t mind me asking, what happened here?”

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Beau grumbled, gingerly making a fist and releasing it, wincing at the pain. “An old enemy heard me tell his friend that I didn’t like their stupid Star Wars costume. His Highness took exception to my honesty and picked a fight. He got lucky and I got hurt. Happy Spooky Day to me I guess.”

Breanne nodded along, tucking a stray strand of hair back into her cap and looking up at him from under her bangs as she replied: “Sounds like you picked the wrong Jedi to tussle with. I admit Star Wars isn’t my cup of tea either, but sometimes you gotta let the fans have their day.”

He swallowed his impulse to correct her about Luigi’s costume along with a gulp of his shake. Her statement was true where it mattered. If he was honest, he’d mostly been looking for an excuse to put the boot to his royal pain in the ass, but unfortunately, he’d been the one that had gotten his butt kicked.

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Beau’s tablemate was exactly his type, and he suddenly realized that he might salvage something out of the evening after all. He turned the focus of the conversation by asking after her own preference for Spooky Day attire.

She lit up, giving an oddly fascinating explanation of her candle making side hustle and her wish to make a giant, scented and glowing, costume some year. They spent the next few minutes happily chatting about their hobbies and interests. Learning he was on the University E-Sports team she glanced down again at his aching wrist. “So, you’re headed to the clinic to patch up your mousing hand as soon as you finish our fine cuisine”?

Beau laughed bitterly. “I wish. Sadly, I’m not really rolling in simoleons.” He went on to say he’d be fine, he just needed some ice, a good night’s sleep, and worst case he knew his dad had a wrist brace lying around the house somewhere. As he said the words, he silently hoped they were true.

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She frowned at that but didn’t comment. Rising instead she said “Welp, break times over for me, back to the grind! Good luck with everything kid”.

Before she could walk away Beau forced himself to push past his anxiety and take a chance on being rejected. He blurted out “Hey, can I get your number? Take you out somewhere with an even better view of the laundromat?”

Breanne made his whole week by pointing back at him with a smile as she said “come back tomorrow with a wrist brace, and its yours”. He didn’t know why she’d been so nice, but she was right. Barring a miracle, he’d need his dad’s brace (and painkillers…) to get through his next e-sports practice!

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View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[mydollsaregay]

collection time!

this post has everything except the dolls and their meet accessories (which I already talked about in another post), the pets (which are cute but basic, and pricey as usual at $34), and the obligatory gigantic, super expensive playset (which is just never going to be for me, on top of being $175).

the beds are very simple, but they’re cute, and super accurate to what a lot of kids had (I think I had basically this exact bed frame). $150 is extremely pricey for these, especially because they are so simple, but that’s true about most ag furniture lol

Isabel’s bedroom accessories are cute enough, but I LOVE the bubble chair in nicki’s. these are also pricey at $50 but they have quite a bit more detail than the beds. Isabel’s doesn’t seem worth it to me - the only thing you couldn’t make yourself or buy way cheaper is the tamagotchi, which isn’t worth the price tag to me. However, I’m def gonna get nicki’s bedroom accessories at some point, even if I don’t get her. That said, I might wait a year or so until they start getting incorporated into sales, as $50 is still a lot of money.

I really love the desk and computer! it’s $145, which is a lot, but there’s a ton of details, so it feels way more justified to me than the beds. if I didn’t recently acquire the old AG Mac computer to go into my eventual 90s room, this might make my “save up some money and stick around to wait for a sale” list. however, I find the implication on the website that the girls, in ‘99, would have a computer in their own room a little outlandish, but hey, maybe I’m just a pleb.

the pjs are. fine. there’s so many secondhand doll pjs out there from the actual 90s that are cuter in my opinion, though. At $34 and $28, I’ll be looking elsewhere for pjs.

The tennis outfit is cute - I like that they’re leaning into the preppy style here. It very much reminds me of an ag tennis/golf outfit I have from my childhood collection. I actually LOVE nickis skateboarding outfit. I think it’s probably my favorite outfit in the collection so far. The only problem? It doesn’t actually come with the helmet, knee pads, or elbow pads. Those are exclusive to the giant playset. That’s a weird stance to take on safety equipment, ag, but ok. Both sports outfits are $40, which is quite pricey, but consistent with similar ag outfits with accessories like these.

the pizza set isn’t for me; it’s meant to tap into nostalgia that I don’t have. However, it’s a hit with those who are nostalgic for this time period, from what I’ve seen. It’s a bit pricey, however, at $32.

And that’s it! Overall, I like it a lot. Quite a few cute pieces, quite a few overpriced pieces, the usual grab bag. I will say though that this is a really nicely well-rounded starting collection. since ag clearly isn’t going back to the six outfits format, I think that having a meet outfit, one activity outfit, and pjs at launch is pretty good! I’m also super relieved that ag isn’t doing more mix and match pieces with the historical outfits, even if they could get away with it with the more modern girls.

My only real disappointment here is that there’s nothing here or in the meet outfits of either girl that references their faith (at least that I can see). I’m sure that ag will come out with something Hanukkah themed for them this winter, but Judaism doesn’t revolve around Hanukkah (it’s not even a major holiday). I would have loved to see one of the girls with the classic star of David necklace (or a charm bracelet with that as one of the charms), some Hebrew school homework, or even just some cultural touchstones like specific foods. Like. Anything. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jbaileyfansite]

Jonathan Bailey interview with the Evening Standard (2021)

There are worse places to conduct an interview than a park, and at least it’s only drizzling.

The only problem is that people won’t leave Jonathan Bailey alone. Which is to be expected, of course: he’s in Bridgerton, the most-watched original Netflix series in its history, viewed on 82 million accounts in a month since it dropped on Christmas Day. Wait. Did I say people? I meant dogs. They snaffle at his heels and rub against his legs while the humans remain impervious. This is because, devoid of his mutton chops and tailcoat, the 32-year-old actor looks a world away from Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, brother of Daphne; lover of Sienna; friend and foe of Simon, Duke of Hastings.

Today he’s dressed in a nylon jacket and sporting very different hair. ‘Bit of a spoiler for season two — I’ve had a light perm,’ he smiles.

And even if Bailey had spent the past two months in full regency costume, fame would have eluded him until lockdown eased and the usual signifiers — being hassled in restaurants, endless selfie requests — were back on the table. Until then it lies in wait, preserved in aspic.

Having spent lockdown thus far on the East Sussex coast staying home like the rest of us, Bailey admits the disconnect is confusing. ‘I feel like I’m being gaslit on a global scale,’ he laughs. ‘Even today, just meeting and talking to actual people who have seen the show feels weird. To me and all the British cast, it feels like Nasa. Netflix launched this spaceship, and you get launched into space. It’s a brilliantly traumatic thing to experience. The launch only happens once, and then it’s about tethering yourself and working it out. I think that might take a while.

‘The isolation of lockdown has been incredibly hard for everyone, but the isolation of feeling like you can’t inhabit the experience that other people are experiencing around you, while being locked down and not being able to see your friends…’ he tails off. ‘Presumably all it will take to shake it off is a big dinner, or even just having a few pints and going out.’

With a slew of TV parts under his belt (Broadchurch, Crashing, Chewing Gum, W1A) and an Olivier award for his role as Jamie in Company (2018), Bailey isn’t exactly an ingénue. But Bridgerton is one of those rare TV programmes that has bestowed fame on a global scale.

Produced by Shonda Rhimes and adapted from the historical novels of Julia Quinn, Netflix’s genre-busting costume drama reached the top 10 in 189 countries, thanks to a sharp script, lavish costumes and racially diverse cast that saw actors of colour inhabit the highest echelons of 19th-century society in a way that had never been seen on screen before. That this high society is presided over by a black woman, Queen Charlotte (Golda Rosheuvel), might be diversity divorced from any historical context, but the alternative — another costume drama inhabited by white people — has never felt more wrong.

Bailey auditioned for the part in 2018 while appearing in Company, sending off a tape to Rhimes’s production company, Shondaland. ‘I got offered the job on my 31st birthday, 25 April 2019,’ he recalls. Filming started in July 2019 and ended in March 2020, narrowly avoiding any impact from the pandemic. 

‘For me it feels like a lockdown anyway when I’m working, so it’s a long time since I can remember normal life.’ Has he been he a banana bread-baking stereotype over lockdowns? ‘I made more than banana bread,’ he laughs. ‘I started with banana bread but went on to cinnamon rolls, although they looked like turds — terrible. But I made amazing hot cross buns.’

The million dollar cliché: what did he learn about himself? ‘I feel more complicated than I thought I was,’ he says. ‘And then I’ve been affirmed by certain things. I did a lot of cycling between lockdowns, in Cornwall and around Italy last summer — pure recharge, pure perspective. Nature is so important. I know everyone’s saying that, and that some people can just keep going flat out, but I know I need to recharge. And I love a bath. I’ve had weeks where I’ve had a minimum of two a day.’ He suddenly looks horrified. ‘Actually, that’s awful. Don’t put that, ’cause it’s wasting water.’

Barely has ‘what did you miss the most?’ escaped from my lips and he exclaims, ‘Theatre! Not just theatre, but the possibility of theatre. But then, I’ve been watching really brilliant theatre creatives smashing it on TV instead.’ He points out that Bridgerton cast members Rosheuvel, Ruth Gemmell, Adjoa Andoh and Luke Thompson are all regulars on the stage. ‘We should be proud in Britain that there’s a massive crossover between theatre and TV. It’s not a semi-permeable membrane: it’s all one talent pool.’ 

Could the Government be doing more to support theatre? ‘Absolutely. It’s just the people who are making the decisions; if it had been someone who loves theatre, and understood the importance of it, this would never have happened. There are certain things in life where you go, “That’s a marker”, and the [2019] government campaign about Fatima having to retrain in cyber was one. That was a wound that will take a long time to heal. And the other marker of a moment is Ruth Sheen’s performance in It’s A Sin [the veteran actress had a cameo as a hospital visitor who took Keeley Hawes’ character to task in the final episode]. The last year hasn’t been about Christmas and Easter. It’s been about markers like those.’ 

Bailey has been described online as ‘openly gay’. I point out that no actors are ever described as ‘openly straight’, and he laughs. ‘I’d say I’m not openly gay. I’m just gay.’ Although he is wary of discussing his sexuality for the sake of it. ‘Then it becomes a commodity and a currency. I knew that I wanted to be visible about my sexuality, because in all the territories that Netflix goes out in, there might be a boy somewhere that goes, “Wait, what?” Which is what I didn’t have when I was young. All I know is that I’m happy to keep working really hard and if there are opportunities for representation, and to make that point, then that’s something I’ll always strive to do.’

Like just about everyone else, he loved It’s A Sin. ‘It was an incredible way to talk about an awful pandemic, and an absolute tragedy that so many people will be triggered by it. In Ruth Sheen’s character, you have a heterosexual woman who is mother to a gay son, challenging another mother. I found that rage incredible. The gay fantasy isn’t just hanging out in bars and meeting men. The gay fantasy is to have guardian angels of allyship.’

He’s hesitant to say whether he agrees with director Russell T Davies’ assertion that gay people should play gay roles. ‘It’s a big old conversation and one I’ve spoken to Russell about, and many other actors. But it’s really hard to give a sound bite to sum up.’

I tell him I don’t want a sound bite. ‘It’s about redressing the balance of access to roles. There just aren’t that many gay roles, so when straight actors go to take that space up, it’s eliminating the chance for other [gay actors].

‘We know there has been a history of needing to be closeted to succeed and be famous, especially in acting. And the idea of not being able to believe heterosexual relations and narrative, if you know one of the actors is gay… everyone should be able to play absolutely everything. But let’s blow away all the cobwebs, and one of the hang-ups and shadows of the past is that we need to be a lot more open to the idea of sexes playing different sides. There have been amazing performances by straight people playing gay and by gay people playing straight. It’s a moment to think about that, and I think Russell’s point was that there’s a vitality and a joy to It’s A Sin because he cast gay people in gay roles. That’s completely true. It’s not a bad thing to own your narrative.”

He is glad not to have received any flack for playing a straight role such as Viscount Anthony. ‘Bearing in mind the internet is a place where anyone can say anything, there hasn’t been anyone who’s had any animosity, or challenged it, so that’s good. Yes, I’m looking forward to gay actors playing gay parts, but for me it’s so important that everyone at home can see a bit of themselves on screen, to allow them to feel heard and seen, and also allow them to have aspirations.

‘Good actors can do anything, and there’ll be amazing writers who are willing to write for everyone. If there are people who don’t have access to creating their own TV shows or telling the stories they want to tell, then absolutely, everyone has to make space for them. That’s not just to do with gender or sexuality. It’s to do with race, religion and everything else.’ He pauses. ‘The idea that someone could read that and go, “God, that’s just a woke viewpoint,” I find really funny. It’s just basic sense, isn’t it?’

Another dog — this time a cockapoo — launches itself on Bailey mid-flow. ‘We have a family cockapoo. I looked after him in Lockdown 1,’ he says. ‘That was a real baptism of fire. He ate a sock. A full sock. It was a Muji sock. Stripy. And then it came up again three days later.’ What’s he called? ‘Benson, after the village I grew up in.’

His sounds an idyllic childhood. Brought up in Oxfordshire, he eschewed drama school for an Open University degree. Neither his parents nor three older sisters have anything to do with acting, but his interest was sparked as a child after watching a production of Oliver in the village hall. He joined the local drama club and also pootled around at the back of the class while one sister did ballet. ‘I wasn’t really invited, but I remember having Velcro trainers and just squeaking in the back and trying to do some pliés. I stopped dancing aged 12 because of the inevitable narrative — peer pressure. Ballet became a euphemism for something else.’

Was he the sort of kid who always got the lead in the school play? ‘I did play Jolly Roger in Jolly Roger,’ he smiles. ‘But then I was taken down a peg or two when I played a raindrop in Noah’s Ark. You win some, you lose some.’

With Bridgerton likely to run for many more seasons, and Viscount Anthony’s storyline taking centre stage in season two (now that sister Daphne is married off, the plot will focus on his own romantic life), Bailey’s newfound fame isn’t going to dissipate any time soon. He has mixed feelings. ‘You work and strive to be an actor and you can get better at it and enjoy it. But you can’t be good at fame or enjoy it. Some people do, some people don’t. It’s a different cocktail for everyone. There are suddenly opportunities available, which is brilliant, and I’m incredibly lucky. But then I realise this is when people say it’s about saying no, because what you say no to keeps you on the path.’

What also keeps him on the right path is the role itself. ‘Bridgerton is actually delivering on changing the bar, and the standard, of representation. Because of that, I’ve had amazing messages from people who have been able to talk about their sexuality, or people who have seen themselves or their children in the Duke of Hastings [storyline]. For me that’s the thing that’s always going to ground [the experience]. It’s a candyfloss juggernaut theme park ride — like multiple sensory overload.

‘So thank God for family. Thank God for friends.’

Source

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S7 E8 Hoop Dreams

I kid you not, this thing is 20 pages. Enter at your own risk. (ILY for reading even part of this.)

Jughead Jones tells us that while “some towns are football towns,” Riverdale isn’t. My longing for OG Tabitha, the angel of chronokinesis and savior of FailAdult Jughead Jones, is such that I pondered if this is Tabitha’s touch - to make a town that for six seasons has been all about football (insert the immortal “Highs and Lows of High School Football” quote gif here if you’re able, which I am not, so you’ll just have to imagine it for this summary) stop caring about that sport altogether and switch over to basketball, which might be her favorite.

Please come back, chronokinetic angel Tabitha, God of Time Loop Manipulation!

The funny thing is, even though Jughead says with what sounds like regret that Riverdale has but a “so-so football team” there’s a banner over the in progress basketball game that says 1942 RIVERDALE HIGH FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS. Granted, it doesn’t say WHAT they were champions of, but I suspect Jughead might be wrong about everything he’s saying, because the other banners say things like Riverdale High Field Hockey Champions 1944, Riverdale High Boys Basketball Champions 1945 and Division II State Champions Field Hockey 1952. Jughead insists that kids only play hockey on the river in winter, implying that they only do that because there’s nothing else to do. Granted, field hockey isn’t ice hockey, but it’s still hockey, and they were champions of this twice across eight years, so - basically, Jughead currently only thinks basketball is cool because (a) his girlfriend-god that he’s been (tw: Harry Potter reference) obliviated into forgetting wants him to think that and (b) Archie in the 1950s AU that we’re in plays basketball not football.

I wondered if the reason, say, that the one and only time the Riverdale football team was the champion was because of WWII or if that war had something to do with this spotty history of performances from the high school of at town that is completely obsessed with sports in every iteration, but I don’t think it quite lines up. WWII was between 1939 and 1945, and the US entry into that war was in 1941.

One more irrelevant point - in OG Riverdale True Timeline of previous seasons, SWEET PEA played basketball. So did Reggie Mantle. And now - now that the tallest boy Riverdale ever had is gone for good, NOW is when they make basketball a thing. O Riverdale Why Are You Like This?! (All Hail the Members of the Cult of Sweet Pea of which there are about five at any given time). I only say this because they actually cut to Fangs, playing basketball, which spiked my stress levels.

Basically, every time I see Fangs I’m enraged because that actor - while beautiful in the face and body - makes for a very terribly unintimidating Serpent and a very terribly unintimidating US Civil War warlock, and a deeply inappropriate basketball player because everything about him says gymnast weightlifter.

Anyways! Even though Fred Andrews, who is basically a saint now in Riverdale because Luke Perry was apparently a very kind man as well as valuable actor who died tragically young during the production of this show, led the team to become champions of the state three years IN A ROW, there are no signs to actually commemorate this achievement in the current halls Riverdale High where his son, Archie Andrews, plays basketball. Granted, doing some rough math, if Archie is 17 in 1955, his dad’s high school career would’ve been in the mid thirties, so the basketball glory days of Riverdale High would’ve been between like, 1934 and ‘37 (assuming Fred was born in 1918 and had Archie at age 20 in 1938 - omg this makes this Archie so old to me - 1938?!?!). Do they only put up banners for wins from the last 10 years? (But then why the 1942 win?)

I tried really hard to see what team kicked the Riverdale basketball team’s butt so hard they lose 63 to 32 (with the announcer saying “that’s another big loss for Riverdale” while all the worthies - the evil vile boyfriends the HS principal and shrink, Hal Cooper, the Blossoms, Betty and Veronica, all mourn the loss) but they had very small print on red jerseys and I could not make it out. Uncle Fucking Frank reacts with violence against innocent paper cups that Dilton Doiley with literally Long Duk Dong hair (ARE THEY SERIOUS?) cringes beside him.

I always wonder about actors who get hired for roles that essentially play a hateful racist stereotype based on their racialized phenotype. Is the actor’s ‘cringing’ reaction portrayed here so awkward because he’s a bad actor, or because the scene is bad, or is he ‘resisting’ the Asian Dweeb stereotype he’s being forced to portray by being very unnatural? (There was a black and white film from the 1940s I watched for a college class whose title escapes me where white people go do things in “China” - a set - that had as its plot device and local color provider character a “Chinese” girl who spoke surreal pidgin English, and the obviously California born-and-raised Asian actress insisted on delivering these “Me Help For You Go Get!” type of stupid lines with the most So-Cal Accent of all time). Anyway, Dilton cringes because the awful white man beats up his paper cups because he sucks as a coach.

Choni, looking amazing in those cream turtleneck sweaters (I really want a cream turtleneck sweater with something navy emblazoned on it because of this), are so very upset about this loss. They find it unspeakable. Further, Toni is discomfited by the fact that Lizzo the Lesbian who dresses in proto Tom of Finland outfits and looks very hot came to sneer at her and only her for being a cheerleader.

In the locker room, Archie, because 1950s Archie is adorkably wholesome and a natural leader, is trying to give his discouraged teammates a pep talk. He sounds so decent and sweet. The other redhead, because really, there is room for only one redhead to be supreme in this town, the Julian who isn’t Jason, interrupts him with a generic sort of homophobic slur against them all - “Not if we keep playing like pansies!” before launching into a shouting rant that Archie cuts off. Nostrils flaring, Julian invokes St. Fred’s sainted “legacy” of having gifted Riverdale with a streak of wins at Archie, who is very very peeved. Julian makes sure to mention the fact that his parents sponsor the team, to which Archie fights back with a very pointed pronunciation of the title, “Captain.”

After the game, Uncle Fucking Frank is begging Clifford Blossom for something. When Archie asks him in his 1955 voice (which I now realize is a very creditable impression of the tenor husky tone of Luke Perry actually) what Blossom wanted, Uncle Fucking Frank says that he’s been permitted to bring in an outside player.

And here we come to it.

This is another Very Special Episode of Riverdale S7 - subtitle, The Thorny Question of Race in America.

Uncle Fucking Frank has many many MANY MANY flaws but he is a middle aged white man in 1955 who is entirely free from not just racism but any sort of prejudice or racial awareness whatsoever. Which - what? How? Does Uncle Fucking Frank have prosopagnosia or something? I mean, he called with evident, drooling joy, Betty Cooper in her underwear that he happened to see without her permission in her skivvies “a ripe peach of a girl” to Archie his nephew, but this is what he has to say about Reggie Mantle, about whom the first thing literally everyone other than him notices is his Not Whiteness:

- Farm kid out of Duck Creek

- Kid who knows how to win games

- 6ft 3, 220 pounds, pure muscle, fast.

- Nickname: ‘The Blur - cause you never see him coming.”

Zero mention of Reggie not being white, of being Asian (or as he may more likely have said, Oriental), or Korean. Zippo, nothing, nada. Just the barest locational and socioeconomic background, no mention of immigrant status, and only what needs to be known for his credentials as an ace basketball player to be communicate to Archie.

Do I - must I - stop hating Uncle Fucking Frank quite as much? I mean I’ll always hate him, but I might have to downgrade from Despise to just Hate. Frank, Sir, you are coming up in the world.

Wait no, I figured it out. I still can still hate Uncle Fucking Frank despite the fact that he manages to talk about Reggie Mantle purely limited to his traits as an ace basketball player with zero mention of his race, ethnicity, being oriental, what kind of Asian etc etc. During the past few years I have seen and heard in passing analyses about how pro and college football will populate their winning teams with not-white athletes, build out hugely profitable merchandising using these same athletes but not pay them their due share. I’m sure coaches that recruit students for this sort of enterprise also don’t really go into what color their skin is or their facial phenotype: they only want to know if they have the physique to render them profitable for the team. Same with Uncle Fucking Frank. He’s not enlightened, just desperate.

Meanwhile, Cheryl and Toni are working off the stress of cheering for a losing team (and in Toni’s case, whatever that meaningful look was between her and Lizzo at the end of the game.) Cheryl, who manages to not have her siren red lipstick all over her face after this make out session looks very fetching in her red neckerchief (omg the clavicles on this chick are to die for) proposes that she and Toni “go steady, just for us." Toni, looking equally fetching in with her thick bangs and leopard print scarf (do they wear these to hide the hickeys or are they too sophisticated for that?) is not nice about it. She points out that they can’t walk down the hall at school holding hands nor can they ‘pin’ each other.

Uh. That’s struck me as quite nasty, and a weirdly underhanded blow at that. 1955 is only five years after the founding of Mattachine Society which moreover was just white men, and it’s not clear to me that those dudes would’ve necessarily welcomed either of these girls. Why is Toni pointing out that they are living in a homophobic society to blame Cheryl for it?

When Cheryl finally gets the hint (“Unless you don’t want to!”), Toni finally says that monogamy is too ‘square’ for her. (What the hell is happening with her and Lizzo?) Cheryl though is nothing if not obnoxiously persistent, so she works her way around Toni’s refusal, which was I will note once again, not at all gentle, by concluding that “it’s kind of like we’re already secretly going steady if you think about it.” Way to be suffocating, Cheryl. Toni is annoyed.

We are now finally going to meet 1955 Reggie Mantle. A very dusty blue pick up truck drives down a road to turn into a yard with lots of goats. It turns out to be Archie Andrews’ ride. The farm house looks pretty huge, though not particularly fancy. Reggie is moving bales of hay from one truck to the other. His hair is all glossy and shiny looking as he does this. Archie asks apparently for the second or third time if he can’t give Reggie a hand, to which Reggie who is very Eyeore in 1955 says no.

The second thing that Archie says to Reggie is to ask if Reggie is “from Korea.” Which means at some point Frank told him he was Korean.

Maybe American and European awareness of Korea existing waxes and wanes, but this question surprised me, as in, it struck me as very unrealistic. It’s only in literally the past seven or so years (i.e. since BTS hit it big in America in 2017) that an Asian looking person is going to be asked if they are Korean first and foremost. My, how we’ve come up in the world, I guess? (Except this more like that one nutty Englishman who plastic surgeried himself into ‘being Korean’ for a bit before deciding that he wasn’t Korean after all.)

Reggie gives a very, like, 1990s answer to this “Where are you from” question, politely answering with his genealogy - Mom is “Korean.” Then he goes on to say his dad “was born here,” before adding “I was born here.” This convoluted writing is necessary because the show doesn’t want to say if Reggie’s father is ethnically Korean or not. If Reggie was born in 1938 like I’ve calculated already for Archie, and let’s just say for the sake of argument they’re all the same age, Reggie’s father was born in 1918 in the US and his mother managed to enter the US (that’s what “from Korea” or “Korean” here is supposed to mean) before the 1924 Oriental Exclusion act banning all Asian immigration to the US, which stayed in place until 1952 (My head hurts. Why did they have to make his being KOREAN a thing on this show?). This makes her the wrong age to have come to America as a picture bride (1905-1924). Also what the heck does Reggie mean by “here”? Most of the initial immigration by Koreans to the US were to Hawaii (prior to annexation) and to California because those land masses are closer to Korea (Koreans moved east to America).

Reggie looks very hot in his baggy jeans and brown belt and work gloves that match his tan boots. Of course this is a bit of a call back to the Jarchie Run Away from Hiram Together moments where Archie takes his shirt off and moves bales of hay as Jughead watches peevishly because he gets annoyed whenever Archie does things that are likely to get him laid.

Apparently, Reggie used to play basketball for Stonewall Prep, but then dropped out. While he’s willing to be polite about explaining his ethnic background (kind of - we know his mother’s ethnicity and his father’s immigration status, to be accurate), Reggie gets testy when asked this question about his history as a Stony. He says he dropped out, as Archie smiles ruefully at the rebuff (“You writing a book?”) which seems very harsh because OG Archie of course has difficulties learning things from books.

I was wrong- it wasn’t Archie’s truck, it was Frank’s. Frank has come out of the farm house to tell Reggie that things are “squared away with your folks” and that Reggie should “say his see you laters.” I don’t think this is intentional, but it’s actually accurate. Certain types of Americans do lay it on super heavy with the colloquialisms when they are speaking to someone they didn’t expect would have an American accent.

When Reggie walks past Archie towards the house, Archie looks exactly like I would if a panther just casually walked by me in the street. He’s so amazed by Reggie that he gives Uncle Fucking Frank a ‘Oh My Golly Gosh Did YOU See That Too?’ look to which Frank gives him an understanding nod. Frank apparently doesn’t find this reaction ‘bent’ at all.

So now we’re at the dinner table at the Andrews home with Mary politely trying to make conversation.

I’m gonna have to break the summation again once more to note the huge problems that trying to be ethnically accurate about Charles Melton the actor (his mom is ethnically Korean and his father is not) for this season that they’ve set in 1955 causes the show. In S2-6, they gave Reggie a Tiger Dad type father who looked Asian (or part Asian) and his mother was cast with an Asian (or part Asian) actress. But in 1955 we’re having to go with the idea that Reggie was a mixed race kid born in 1938, without actually going into anti- miscegenation and laws associated therewith (I am not going to research this ok? I just know Loving v Virginia was decided in 1967. FML. I hate history so much and here I am having to do this for my RIVERDALE HOBBY - , like wtf is my life rn).

The thing is, THE THING IS, the set up they have for “dad born here, I’m born here, I speak fluent English with an American accent” Reggie is that of an exchange student far from home, an alien guest in an All American Caucasian Household.

Long Duk Dong set up (from Sixteen Candles, which is a movie Molly Ringwald was in, who now plays Archie’s Mom) ONCE AGAIN. There’s a classic Margaret Cho quote from decades ago about how Asian Americans aren’t allowed to just, like, EXIST in American shows and movies. There’s always got to be some reason that justifies their existence - foreign exchange student being one of the most benign go-tos. Riverdale is reproducing the Explain Your Existence, O Surprising Oriental trope even as they pretend to actually engage with Asian American identity.

Friends, I have written five pages, single spaced and so far I’ve covered literally FOUR MINUTES of the show. Let’s move faster.

Mary Andrews has heard that Reggie grew up on a farm, and wants to know all about it. Uncle Fucking Frank is seated at the head of the table like somehow he has a right to be there. Anyway, Reggie is bouncy and discreetly proud of himself when he says that his dad was injured in the Korean War (“Came home with shrapnel in his shoulder”) so he has to step up, because it’s his family’s legacy.

These are all words designed to ping every string in Archie’s heart - Dad, Korean War, Family Legacy, Stepping Up.

Times are hard, is what Reggie is telling them, so Archie asks why they couldn’t get assistance from the GI Bill. “We’re not considered eligible” is what Reggie tells Archie. So… is Reggie’s Dad a Not Korean But Asian person? Who was born in America in 1918 and got drafted into the Korean War while Asian? I mean, I have no idea how many that might be actually, and the Korean War was an international police action that had battlefield participation from, like, Ethiopia, Turkey and South Africa, so there were bunches of not Korean men fighting that war. (Oh and uh, if you bring up MASH to me I will curse your bloodline and block you because NO.) So where the US government refused to do right by its veterans of color, Clifford Blossom's need to have his pet basketball team win something will provide the assistance the Mantle farm apparently needs and should’ve received from the US government.

Reggie is going to be roommates with Archie. He gets a bunk, lots of blankets, and a dresser drawer. Reggie looks very glum about this, though the adorable clueless 1955 Archie whom I do like so much is being very sincere in his efforts to be a good host. Reggie happens to glance out the window to see Betty Cooper, very fetching in green and white polka dots, settle on her bed

“Who’s that?” he wants to know. He says everything in this dour, serious tone, which I guess is meant to convey that the weight of the world is on this Reggie, as opposed to the one that lived in the permanent year 2020. Archie tellingly refuses to say her actual name, describing Betty as “his neighbor” that Reggie will “get to meet at school tomorrow.” Then, just to make things extra weird, he firmly notes that they’re both supposed to keep their window curtains shut from now on - no further explanation. Reggie clearly has a ton of questions but decides not to ask any.

Hal comes to give Betty a visit. Werthers has advised Hal that Betty might be better off burning off her excess energy by becoming a cheerleader. The fact that her school shrink is talking about Betty's sexuality with her dad is supposed to give me the heebie jeebies but it doesn't. When this town's adults don't like something about their kids they straight up shove them into a mental institution run by a pseudo Catholic cult (both in the OG Universe and 1955 AU) so what Betty is getting is cosseting. What's more interesting is the very All American conviction that repeatedly keeps getting voiced that Sports Will Fix Sexual Problems In The Young. Kevin's unacceptable homosexuality was supposed to be cured by participation in homosocial team sports. Betty's unacceptable sexuality in general (because God forbid women do anything) is also supposed to be cured by participation in a homosocial team sport. Nobody sees the contradiction in any of this. When told that she must join the Vixens - AND without auditioning! Join through back channels! - Betty looks completely disgusted. And yeah there's a very Rivderdalean triple pun here, of a sexualized virgin being forced to join the most objectfied female activity in American high school AND acquire the title VIXEN into the bargain! I wonder if this is the show advocating for teen girls to send nudes to boys - because that's what Betty would've done had she had the technology, right?

The next morning Lizzo the Lezzie is waiting for Toni at the school. I thought Lizzo dropped out? Is she just an incorrigible morning person? This is a disturbing level of stalking of Toni is it not? To come super early to the grounds of the school you dropped out of to provide sneering commentary on someone else's relationship is a LOT. And Lizzo is so carefully dressed too : Tom of Finland leathers hat and jacket, maroon pants, belt with a big interesting buckle that is the same color as her huge hoop earrings. She tells Toni she's "figured out a good hustle." She picks put "ripe" closeted girls, brings them out and uh deflowers them, then ditches them.

Oooh is this Toni Topaz having a toxic trait? Because her relentless pursuit of Cheryl, who was all manner of unwilling (plus the usual lack of sexual frisson between these two performers- also sidebar rant WHY WONT THEY GIVE VERONICA A GIRLFRIEND) was in truth a little icky right?

Toni looks shifty and avoidant when she spots Tabitha Tate and simply leaves Lizzo in the lurch.

Tabitha says that Mrs. Till was all the things that sound exhausting to have to be ("so strong, so inspiring") but that the tour trying to voice the racial injustice of America took a personal toll on her. This is the start of a severely, comically fucked up race related discussion vis a vis African Americans on this episode. First of all, you have two African American women explaining white racism to each other, very calmly, without expressing anger or fatigue and even managing to experience some surprise. That is so weird. Second, Toni says she "can only imagine" the hatred and racial injustice that Tabitha just got through encountering up close and personal. Excuse me? Why can she only imagine? Wouldn't Toni actually KNOW? Because anti black racism doesn't exist at all in Riverdale 1955?? (But she was one who pointed out exactly what some of the more obvious ones were to Featherhead!) When Toni confesses to Tabitha that she's now a cheerleader, she prefaces by saying "Don't laugh" and doesn't say the BS she tried to push on Lizzo at the start of her River Vixen career - that being the first black cheerleader is somehow meaningful. Tabitha evidently doesn't feel anything other than horror at the idea of being a cheerleader so she instead asks about whether Toni is still writing think pieces for the Blue and Gold. She isn't. Tabitha completely runs out of things to say. OK so thus far, 1955 Toni is a bit of a predatory lesbian lothario who will get sanctimonious about race only when she thinks she can get away with it, and Tabitha is a judgmental prig. I suppose this could be considered a sort of progress for characters who used to be all about their “race,” each with the designated role of being the only one with the braincell because that’s clumsy representation but it’s better than a hateful depiction, but the dark sides shown here are still a simplistic flip of the equally nuance-free ‘light’ sides that were dominant for both.

In the student lounge, Betty, Veronica and Cheryl (who really would be an ultimate throuple - with Veronica as the hinge person, if only, well, if only all of them didn’t have the various issues they’ve always had) allow Kevin to sit with them, which I simply do not understand. Betty is too good for her own good, to coin a phrase. Veronica is deeply amused by Betty being a “RiverVixen” to which Cheryl makes it clear that she did not want this to happen - for Betty to join the cheerleading squad NOR the nepotistic way she joined it. Veronica now owns the Babylonium - complete with “paperwork.”

Why. Do they do. This. with the Contract Mentions. [fists clenched, vibrating with rage] Finalized by who? Which paperwork? Is Veronica an emancipated minor too like Jughead probably possibly is or has she been lying all this time about being the same age as everyone else purportedly is in this universe?

In any case, Betty, who has developed a new oral fixation with lollipops, finds Veronica’s penchant for business as adorable as Veronica finds the thought of Betty in a cheerleader uniform. Veronica is wearing a very un-1950s Veronica outfit - the collar goes right up to the collarbone, the sleeves are puffy, the color subdued. Now that she’s recovered some element of her OG Universe self (compulsive entrepreneur), she is now speaking of herself in the third person and archly. The camp is dialed up so high the knob breaks off. (“Veronica Lodge likes to burn rubber” which is, what, three layers of pun? Burn Rubber = goes fast. Rubber = slang for condom. But Veronica is a virgin, etc). Betty and (Sighhhhh) Kevin think so too, because they give each other a look.

Or it could be because their 17 year old friend suddenly talking like she’s a 1940s screen diva at a waning stage of her career AND talking about herself in the third person using her full name is just fully very strange.

To make matters worse, Archie brings in Reggie Mantle to this little group, trying to do his best to integrate this valuable new teammate (and roommate, and all round amazing looking cool handsome guy that he thinks is just the tops on first sight) to his coterie. Veronica fully falls into an erotic fugue at the sight of Reggie, and starts to speak in tongues - “Are you gonna introduce us to your strapping flutter bum of a new pal?” 1950s Archie smiles nicely at her while not answering, which is the usual thing that he does when he just doesn’t understand wtf the other person is saying but doesn’t feel safe asking them to explain in case everyone else understands and they all wind up finding out that he’s dumb.

Reggie apparently expects Riverdale people to be completely insane because he doesn’t even do a double take at this exceptional sentence from this girl he’s meeting for the first time. He just soberly introduces himself. I mean, given that he has first met Uncle Fucking Frank on a mission from Clifford Blossom of all people, and then had Archie say what he said about the curtains and Betty, he’s not wrong.

Veronica is laying it on an inch thick - “I suspected a tall drink of water like you was a sportsman!”

She’s taking all her behavioral cues from an earlier era of movie diva, I think. This is like, Marlene Dietrich (“Marriage? [scoff] I never found a man good enough for that.”) or Greta Garbo (“But I vaaunt to be aloonnne”) with a certain brassy kind of young Joan Crawford making movie after movie with Clark Gable.

The original high-camp archly-haute queen of Riverdale, Cheryl, fights for her crown. She interrupts whatever next thing Veronica was going to say by snapping that Veronica “might get a ticket for speeding.” This doesn’t just mean that Cheryl really dislikes it when people are very heterosexual around her (though she does feel that too). Veronica first of all is intensely wlw-coded, which is why it irks (the closeted) Cheryl that Veronica is laying it on so thick with the attraction to big handsome man’s-man Reggie (which of course goes all the way over the maximum virility level to loop all the way around to being gay!). (In a way that Toni never actually appeared to like or interact with other women, OG Veronica absolutely LOVED other women and made the personal political in a very principled way). And it shows that Cheryl not only closely listens to everything Veronica says but also really thought the whole ‘burn rubber’ triple pun was great, which is why she references it in her attempted put down.

She tries to demonstrate how she thinks not-straight girls should react to someone with Reggie’s glossy hair and sculptural face. Cheryl puts on the most anodyne professional face to tell Reggie what “professional” (ahem) connections they have, and makes sure to say that the two of them “will be working closely together.” She does this very well. But the thing is, she looks even more insane than before because the flip of the switch from her sniping at Veronica (an explosion of genuine feeling) and this ‘groomed professional’ self is so abrupt!

Reggie is like, okay so hot girl 1 is nuts and so is hot girl 2, but maybe hot girl 3 (and neighbor) is not insane, so he asks Betty if she’s a cheerleader. Kevin makes a face like he knows exactly Reggie’s thought process (but honestly, fuck you Kevin. Die in a ditch.). Betty does give the most sane reaction out of the three. When Reggie calls her ‘neighbor’ though, Veronica AND Betty AND Kevin all have a reaction. (Cheryl already knew and possibly doesn’t care so she doesn’t say anything). Kevin and Veronica look over at Archie, while Betty scrunches her forehead at Reggie.

Archie is still looking at Reggie like made of solid gold. “He’s gonna help turn things around for the Bulldogs.”

Veronica is so bored by Riverdale. She must be. Why else is she acting like this? She immediately tries to monopolize Reggie’s attention, calling him “Reginald” and interviewing him like she’s a celebrity journalist trying to win some sort of tabloid spirit award. Reggie continually gives her looks that blatantly say, Are you really like this - like, really?? Yet Veronica is utterly undeterred. What she reminds me of is Samantha from Sex and the City. No woman talks like that - that was a ‘woman’ written by gay men who thought THEY would talk like that and behave like that if THEY were women (which no, they would not. There are reasons why actual women can’t talk or behave that way). Veronica tries to lay out all her best cards (she thinks) on the table, concluding with “I own my own business, yes” and calls her movie theater a “movie palace.”

Oh Veronica. Being a entrepreneurial girl in a heterosexist world is exactly like being a logical confrontational girl or a scientifically rigorous girl. Being these things is surely a strength, to be aspired to and will fuel you to achieve self actualization, but no straight boy ever found these things hot. They like us in spite of these strengths, not because. Sad, but true.

Reggie clearly just doesn’t believe her, possibly adding ‘mythomania’ to his assessment that already includes ‘speaks strangely’ and ‘incomprehensible’ about Veronica.

When showing off her fabulous gift of the gab, her perfect face, and her entrepreneur skills fails to make an impact on Reggie, Veronica gets annoyed. In response to his saying his town just did not have a movie theater AND his parents never owned a TV (possibly, never made enough to buy one), she offers Reggie a job, which will come with a side order of sexual harassment from a very attractive female boss.

Cheryl Blossom, who knows all about Reggie’s financial dependence on her father, finds the mention of money horrible (Cheryl Old Money vs. Veronica New Money dynamic). She calls Veronica uncouth (“Raised by wolves!”). Reggie has had more than enough. He used to go to Stonewall with rich WASPs so can tell when things are about to go sideways. He literally backs away from everyone, asking to be shown the gym.

Veronica AND Kevin leap at the chance to get near Reggie and a shower stall at the same time, so Archie comes to his rescue to show him the way. Reggie gives Kevin a Et Tu Brute?!? look, not because he’s homophobic, but I think because he thought a big muscled fit person like Kevin might conduct himself with better comportment. Archie gives Kevin a look before leaving.

Tabitha approaches Jughead in the hall. They are wearing perfectly matched outfits. She’s wearing a fabric with a pink-and-green checkerboard pattern, while Jughead is wearing a vest with shades of green in a grid over a pink shirt. His locker door is very interesting. He’s got a big cover of the Super Duck comic issue taped in the honored central location, which I take to mean that not only is he actually really working on the Super Duck comics but he actually is proud of and excited by the work (Unless this is some super tightly thought out trickery against Werthers and Featherhead). There’s also that month’s calendar with each day crossed out - is this him working on his personal writing ‘every day’? To be true to himself, there’s also some sort of movie postcard about SPIDERS and another one about TOMB. I wish I could make out more of what’s on there but I can’t.

Anyway - Jughead apparently has NOT been doing anything to help Tabitha keep abreast of her schoolwork like he promised her a few episodes ago. Tabitha smilingly takes him to task for it, and he’s full of stammering apologies. Tabitha says that she didn’t actually have difficulties keeping up with school, so Jughead is “hereby absolved.” She even wants to know why Jughead was so preoccupied, like he tried to explain during his apology.

The way Tabitha and Jughead keep echoing each other in this little scene is just so cute. Their outfits exactly match, as I’ve said. Jughead says that he “got a job” writing a “broad range” of comic books and that he’s also working for Bradberry. Tabitha has read Bradberry because she “reads across all genres, including science fiction.” The cuteness of these super attractive nerds with their pretty faces just moisturizes my dry little heart. Their twitchy little body language tells of excitement and shy liking also match - they both shake their heads a little when they suggest something, to indicate Please Don’t Say No, and bounce on their heels and do minute little up down motions with their shoulders. Whereas 1955 Archie is wholesome in a slightly clueless way but also because he’s trying to be perfect as a way to grieve the loss of his father, these two, memory-wiped Jughead and 1955 Tabitha, are genuinely wholesome. When Tabitha takes her leave, Jughead looks at her with slight disbelief at his own good fortune.

At the ‘movie palace,’ Kevin, who like Cheryl pays very close attention to everything Veronica says I guess, asks Veronica for a job. He’s also obsessively watched Singing In the Rain so many times that he’s gotten it memorized end to end. (This is yet another way Kevin is not friendshaped to me - I’ve always been a Fred Astaire girl.) One of the (spoken) prerequisites of getting a job at this theater is to love movies. One of the half-spoken prerequisites, however, is a willingness to get involved, either directly or not, in Veronica’s attempt at having a sex life in Riverdale. Veronica really thought that becoming a sort of mogul would help her land straight guys.

Oh honey.

Veronica (sort of like Toni, actually) is sexually predatory and also desperate in a way I find curious. She’s been hitting on Clay for a while, apparently, but even though hes just NOT RESPONDING (which is very woman-coded of him) she refuses to take the fucking hint. She makes it blatantly clear that she only hired Kevin because he is friends with Clay AND will help her “suss him out.”

Oh honey!

We finally get to the reveal of Reggie The Blur Mantle's basketball skills! Uncle Fucking Frank calls his players "turkeys." Waterboy Dilton is there wearing an especially unflattering rotten greenish Grey color sweatshirt while everyone is in either a blue or a yellow jersey. I guess gold was too expensive? I can comfortably hate Frank again because a teammate tosses a used paper cup right at Dilton and another gives him a fist bump for it in a very visible act of denigration and Frank neither notices nor cares. Maybe it's this inability to see detail and perceive reality by this coach that is the cause of this team sucking so badly?

Reggie’s purpose in being brought on is made crystal clear to everyone. He's either to be an unwelcome alien element that provokes the existing property team members to hitherto impossible levels of competence and, if that doesn't work, use his own proven excellence to drag them over the edge. Frank has no interest in Reggie’s quality of life or smooth integration into the team, accordingly. I've been hired a part of a reform and upgrade effort like this one and lemme tell you - the push back from the existing people who are told We Are Bringing Them In Cuz You Suck is insidious, nasty, brutish and persistent. People don't like being insulted nor shown that they are replaceable.

So Fucking Frank makes Julian the captain of one team and Reggie the captain of the other. The only two that initially join Reggie’s group are Archie and Fangs. Archie thinks it's a no brainer - he dislikes Julian, this is his uncle's big gambit, and he thinks Reggie is just tops. Fangs joins, I assume, because Reggie has black hair like him. When everyone else joins Team Julian, Fangs objects (3:7 is unfeasible).

Reggie invites Dilton to join. Dilton lights up as that fucker Frank looks back at him as he's seeing him for the first time. Maybe he has. I've had white teachers "forget" wholesale that I was in their class when the class had only 6 other students when assigning roles for a semester length project. (Riverdale got this right, is what I'm saying.)

The thing is, I HAD TO be in that class.

Why Dilton puts up with this especially when he had no ability in it is confusing to me.

Archie is worried about this decision but he does nicely ask Dilton if he's up for it, then prompts him to get on the court.

This is by the way fascinating kingly behavior on Reggie’s part. The easier choice when you're bullied is to avoid the people who are the same type as you.

The Vixens filter in. I didn't realize the cheerleaders were obliged to sit and watch team practice. That is truly terrible. No wonder Betty was so annoyed.

And we're off!

I do not care about sports and therefore have zero knowledge or reference but is this sort of angle normal for basketball??

Reggie scores a point immediately. I'm assuming that what he does here - a sort of demi tourne en-l'air as he scores- is awesome because they show it a) in slow motion and b) most of the Vixens clap and all react like they saw something amazing. Cheryl especially looks shocked.

I am again so enamored of their outfits this season. An extra wears a beautiful pinstripe skirt with stripes of color mixed in - white, red, and mustard - with a grapefruit cardigan over a white shirt. I covet this outfit. Betty is fetching dressed only in pink and white. I LOVE IT when they put Cheryl in navy, like they do here, because it makes her look like three scoops of vanilla ice cream. Midge looks extremely not pregnant in her cinched-tight skirt. Toni is trying to dyke it up while matching Cheryl in navy tones - tight blue jeans and a matching sweater.

Julian makes like he's going to smash Dilton's glasses (or face) with the basketball in his hands. Dilton cringes, costing his side however many points Julian immediately scores. He's crushed. Reggie comes up from behind to reassure him with pats to the stomach, maintaining eye contact with Dilton to make sure he is OK.

The fucker Frank seems worried at this show of solidarity that Reggie feels with other Asians.

Reggie scores every time he attempts to. He looks right at Betty as soon as he scores the first one, and Betty is getting into it with every score Reggie uh, scores. (I am bored and I also know very few sports words.)

Julian fully elbows Dilton right in the chest, knocking him over, before scoring too. Abusing Dilton seems to be what helps him achieve excellence. I'm wondering what exactly was wrong with this team to begin with because Julian at least seems as good as Reggie at scoring, albeit in less aerodynamic ways.

Muscles rippling, Reggie lifts Dilton up off the ground. I feel a grim obligation to look up a Dilton/Reggie tag for s7 on Ao3. (Grim because I much prefer the other Dilton, the feral one that eventually grows his hair long and has that secret close friendship with Jughead).

Oh and when Julian scores the banner behind him says Victory Is Ours! whereas when Reggie is helping Dilton out the banner behind the two of them says Go Team Go!

Frank shouts something about game point, and Dilton, whose dusty skills are irrigated by one instance of skin on skin contact by Reggie, actually manages to score. Frank looks pleased but I think he's not proud of Dilton so much as pleased for himself that Reggie’s excellence transfers to other people.

Reggie, Fangs and Archie hoist Dilton into the air to celebrate his single solitary winning moment in life so far in the 50s alternate universe. The two Asian boys helped each other win against Julian Blue-Blood Blossom and to make sure you got it, Riverdale gave the Asian Boy Team members yellow jerseys. Guess what color Julian's jersey is. Later, Julian is so pissed he kicks a basketball.

In the locker room afterwards Dilton is shown collecting laundry to haul off somewhere. Just like I didn't know that cheerleaders were forced to attend the practice and training sessions of the players, I didn’t know that to be a water boy was to be an unpaid maid for the other players. Remind me once again why Dilton wants to participate on these terms?? (Also, an Asian boy with laundry duties is actually worse than Long Duk Dong. Having the less stereotypical Reggie (though at this point, the Super Asian Who is Good At All the Things is ripening into almost a fully fledged stereotype) doesn’t counteract Dilton’s portrayal. That’s not how this works.

Everyone other than Dilton is pretty glum, because the player that was brought in because they suck has proven himself to be superior to them. Archie suggests that they all take him out for burgers at Pop’s. Possibly for the first time in his life, Archie is met with silent treatment from a bunch of people. He wants to know “what gives?” Reggie gets it immediately, so he tries to recuse himself. Ominously, Julian suddenly says he wants to go, and that’s because when Julian is down in the dumps the immediate next thing he alights on is to use his money to squash someone. Knowing that Reggie doesn’t have a car, he sets up a race - “Last one to Pop’s treats!” knowing it’s gonna be Reggie. Archie didn’t think of that, so he feels alarmed. Dilton is permitted to come by Julian. The four of them - Fangs, Archie, Dilton and Reggie - awkwardly stare at each other.

In the extremely constricting looking cheerleader practice outfits - the button down shirts with tightly belted blue shorts - the Vixens are assigned their ‘designated’ player by Cheryl. Cheryl thank the lord gets Julian (which she doesn’t mind and is great for everyone). She describes this duty as “personalized support, baking him cookies” and “helping with his homework.” Neither Veronica nor Betty have ever heard of this. Cheryl assigns Archie to Toni, and Reggie to Betty. Toni is full of questions and suspicions about this choice, but Betty seems more than pleased.

Meanwhile, Tabitha and Jughead (him wearing the felt crown, which unlike the beanie I can’t ‘unsee’ and her in a pink bandeau headband) are visiting Apartment 407 which belongs to Bradberry. The author is not responsive to Jughead’s knocking. Tabitha suggests leaving him a note, and Jughead, while scribbling, asks if Tabitha wants to go see a movie. lOoh, sort of like how Jabitha started - with her asking him to hang out!! “I would love to go to the movies with you” is what she says, in her melting sweet voice and her huge soft eyes which can’t be fully obscured by those huge glasses frames. It’s a completely unromantic movie, about being attacked by a giant octopus, yet Jughead gets starry-eyed when she says Yes without hesitation. Having written his note, Jughead takes out a piece of gum from his mouth that he hadn’t been chewing this entire time to attach it to the door. Jughead and Tabitha giggle cutely at each other as they head off to the movies.

In the changing room back at school, Toni is changed into her Hot Beatnik Chick outfit. Cheryl asks what’s wrong, to which Toni ominously replies, “We need to get real, Cheryl.” So, this emotional rollercoaster that Toni keeps dragging Cheryl on - is this supposed to serve as some sort of corrective to the way Choni ultimately worked out in the OG timeline? Lizzo’s critiques about how Toni’s predatorily self-serving ways being correct doesn’t really do anything for me until they do more with Lizzo as a character. Toni, though, is not wrong when she says, “Baking for my own personal meathead is not really want I want my life to be about.” Hear hear. Plus, I don’t think that it was general knowledge that this level of handmaidenhood was what was required of cheerleading, so this probably is far beyond what Toni is willing to put up with for a girlfriend. Cheryl seems infinitely sad at the dismissive way Toni says “cheerleader” when she says that isn’t what she wants to be. Then she asks a really scary question, so scary that she closes her eyes the entire time she is asking. Cheryl wants to know if this whole rejection of everything square and cheerleader and so forth is because Cheryl asked to go steady. Toni says no, at first, but then says that she needs to “figure herself out” plus she “needs space.” Again, I must reiterate my question about what making Toni not just a bohemian but such a toxic one supposed to show me. Cheryl is left alone with two sets of paper shakers lying like dead animals on the bench. Poor Cheryl.

At the movie theater, Jughead is ordering a LOT of food because he is flush with cash from his writing gigs I guess - popcorn, large cola with ice, two packs of ‘Senior Mints,’ a ‘Butterflinger’ with a hard emphasis on the G, Mint BoGos, Buccaneers and a Skit-Skat.

I happen to love KitKats and calling them SKAT is hurtful to me in a personal way. The official ‘joke’ of this little bit is that all of this is entirely for Jughead’s solitary consumption. Tabitha, who is grossed out by this collection of foodstuffs, has no appetite. There’s an inflation joke too, because Veronica says all of this is 75 cents. The thing that’s truly an insider level of joke about this bit, of course, is that Jughead seems to have entirely forgotten that he and Veronica had a pretty long term flirtation where they dated and she fixed up his residence and he read her his first drafts.

Veronica tells Clay that she founds it “interesting” that Tabitha and Jughead are at the movies together. Clay does not care about straight people’s shenanigans, plus it’s apparent that Veronica will not stop bringing up the topic of sex to him, so he deflects as politely as possible.

Veronica however has not forgotten their entanglement, which she describes as lasting as long as a “New York minute.” Now Clay has no choice but to show interest. Clay thinks Jughead is “plenty handsome” to which Veronica rolls her eyes before saying a very lukewarm, “I suppose.” Veronica says that Jughead is an oddball, which she makes sound like a bad thing, before trying to butter up Clay by telling him that she prefers her men to be “continental” and “worldly” and with an “air of mystery.” Cut to Kevin’s POV (Kevin is sweeping up the front hall of the theater while Veronica has Clay trapped in close proximity with her behind the concession counter. The signs on the wall immediately behind Clay read:

Refreshments

Hot Buttered (much small writing: Popcorn)

FRISKY (sandals - is this a movie?)

FLESH (eating spiders).

Clay gives Kevin a helpless look before deciding to beat a swift retreat. He’s got reel changing duties to attend to. Before he can fully get away, however, Veronica turns it up a notch to fully sexually harass her employee: “Just think about picking up what I’m putting down” she says, placing pointy manicured fingernails against his hand. Clay gives Kevin yet another Oh Help Me look (unseen by Veronica). Kevin is trying to figure how to rescue his boyfriend.

At the student lounge, Betty is trying to provide support for Reggie. She asks him what he got for a certain question, to which Reggie says she doesn’t have to do this. Betty tells him straight out that this is part of her job as a Vixen. She also wants to know what his favorite cookie is because she’s obliged to bake him some. Reggie doesn’t want her to do that either. Reggie is either some sort of paragon (Uhhh Model Minority?) or sexually repressed (Sigh) or gay because he seems ultra unreactive to Betty, being gorgeous and friendly. Betty is repressing a lot of anger about being made to participate in any of this, so it comes out in this arch, sarcastic way. I also think that she’s defensive about her ‘reputation’ so she pretends she doesn’t care as she tells him how her innocent sexual exploration (“A peep show, in our windows, if you can even call it that”) was violently taken out of the realm of privacy and ruined her reputation in town, leading her to flash her underwear on live television.

Reggie has fully had enough. He looks very concerned for her sanity as well as his own safety. Betty belatedly realizes how insane how she said what she said makes her sound but her panic makes her unable to order her thoughts. (“We didn’t— No, we’re not— I’m completely–! [dissolves into adorable mouthsounds of incoherent reassurance]). He decides he should just go. This is very reminiscent of the “Am I the only one here who hasn’t gotten rid of a dead body” moment from Killing Mr. Honey, except a bit less funny because Reggie’s personality is so tamped down for 1955. Overwhelmed by this girl mentioning “peep show” and “flashing panties” in her first real conversation with him, he tells her that she’s hereby “relieved of your, uh, Vixen duties, okay?” As he takes off, Betty puts a hand to shield her face. She is just the cutest.

Reggie is practicing basketball when Archie finds him at the gym. Archie invites him to lunch, but Reggie refuses. Archie insists that it’s not with the team (shitty people) but instead his other friends (hypersexual crazy people) so Reggie politely declines double.

Then we come to a comical bit that I don’t know the show knows is comical. Clay, Tabitha and Toni are sitting together to discuss Toni’s idea of starting a literary society at Riverdale High for black students because of …Emmett Till. That’s a really weird jump to me, but OK. Clay and Tabitha seem excited. This isn’t what I find comical. What I find comical is that this is an oblique discussion about anti-black racism by three black students who are all dating white people in an episode that decided to focus on Reggie’s Korean ethnicity.

Toni wants to highlight Black voices and writing. Clay is a prolific writer off screen - he writes poetry, literary criticism and short fiction. He wants a forum and probably deserves it -except he did spoken word that one time at the coffee house, and it’s not clear to me why he had to wait for Toni to get bored with her jaunt to Caucasian Squaretown to do this. Tabitha really hates cheerleading. Does she know about the baking and the helping with the homework and being assigned a personal meathead and all of that? It’s strongly implied Tabitha really wants Toni to give it up for an idea that she approves of as much more worthy. Toni says she gave up cheerleading because she was gay for Cheryl Blossom. Neither Tabitha nor Clay have a reaction to this at first. Tabitha enthusiastically agrees when, in an attempt to steer the conversation away from her personal life, Toni says her ‘journal’ would make a big difference to (just) the black students. The fact that Tabitha and Toni take it as a given that absolutely no white students would read this journal is an interesting commentary.

Clay wants to know what happened to which Toni gives a toxic significant other answer: ”We’re just so different.” I say it’s toxic because all the things she names about Cheryl - family background, race, financial status - were fully upfront and known and contributed to why she pursued Cheryl in the first place (according to Lizzo). Clay calls bullshit on it immediately - that it’s not ‘impossible’ to date someone who is very different (i.e. white, if you’re black) from you. Toni really needs writers for her upcoming journal so she graciously concedes his point about how “everything is a conversation” (when what she has been doing to Cheryl this whole time is making demands, ignoring refusals, and now, issuing unilateral decisions), but then needles him back with the fact that both Kevin and Clay are preppies. “I guess it depends on how much you like the person,” is Clay’s retort.

They’re actually fighting while making really sweet faces at each other. Clay is very interesting.

Tabitha, who is dating the show’s officially strange person, and the one that freaked everyone out weeks ago in this universe with his nutty theory about comets and the future and the internet etc, says absolutely nothing. Did she know both Clay and Toni were gay? I can’t tell if she’s just mulling over what they said or she’s in over her head and this is stunned silence.

At the theater, Veronica is stalking Clay, who isn’t there. She asks Kevin where Clay is, so Kevin has had enough. He calls her a slut first (because of course he would - “You’re coming on really strong”) but then Kevin says a correct thing: “Is that really appropriate [given that he works for you]?” Veronica thinks there is “nothing wrong with a little workplace flirtation.” Um. So Kevin (???!??! wtf wtf??) is like, literally decades ahead of his time (the COINAGE of the phrase sexual harassment wasn’t until the late 70s by the very great legal scholar Catherine MacKinnon who is a personal hero of mine and in a direct connection - not really- to this episode visited S. Korea in 2019 where I got to meet her at a talk she gave). All because he wants to safeguard his boyfriend. Anyway, not only is this the They Say the Word Korean Too Many Times For My Comfort episode, this is also the episode where all the gay people come out to someone. Kevin outs Clay first (without asking, and in a fit of pique, which is so shitty) and then himself, to Veronica.

Oh but not before he’s hateful to a beautiful woman first. When Veronica dejectedly notes that Clay “isn’t remotely interested” he answers in the most swinish way possible: “He’s not. I know that for a fact.” Have I mentioned enough times that I hate Kevin? I do. I hate Kevin.

Veronica does a huge about face to say that “she knew” both Clay and Kevin were gay. I think she’s lying. I might give her the point that she knew Kevin was gay (from all the obsessive Singing in the Rain watching, which is really about looking at Gene Kelly’s ass) but Clay? She didn’t.

Anyway she adjusts to reality really fast, thinking swiftly on her feet when Kevin confronts her with, “If you knew that, why would you make a play for Clay?” to retort that it was all to test her hypothesis, “of course.” She can’t sustain the lie, however, because her bored horniness takes over. The immediately next thing she does is to ask if Clay could possibly ever be bisexual. I really doubt Kevin has ever asked Clay this, but he states that “he doesn’t” before presuming to answer a question that Veronica did not ask - he includes himself when he says “we” don’t swing both ways. Veronica lies again and says that she was only ‘double checking.’

Her disappointment is so crushing that she turns into Mae West. She makes up some gibberish - that it’s better to have “hunky friends who are boys” than a hunky boyfriend. I’m not at all this type of woman (the old skool term for this is a double whammy of homophobic misogyny so I won’t use that word here) so maybe I’m missing something, but if Betty Cooper’s experience in this universe is anything to go by, Kevin is no friend to any woman because he hates women. Being homosexual doesn’t do anything to ameliorate his misogyny - in fact, it makes it much, much worse. He’s disgusted by female human bodies. Stay the hell away, Veronica!

Veronica in her disassociated Mae West persona is too much for Kevin to handle at this moment. She claims to have had more fun with the “Toni and Tab” types than Dennis Hopper and Steve McQueen which can’t possibly be true if you’re a woman attracted to men. Like COME ON (Tab is Tab Hunter, and I guess Anthony Perkins is Toni?). I Have got to hand it to Veronica for having a can-do spirit about everything. “This hick down is finally starting to feel like home,” she says, in the immediately aftermath of being told that the guy she’s been panting after for weeks and weeks will never be interested. Kevin seems moved, but since I hate Kevin, I don’t care.

At basketball practice, Julian has an announcement: Tomorrow is the “Bulldog Booster Basketball Mixer.” We know that it couldn’t possibly have been Julian who came up with this mouthful of a title - it has Cheryl stamped all over it. It’s a fundraiser to build a new gym, girls will be there, and everyone has to “dress spiffy.” Coach Fucking Frank forces Julian to issue a nastily worded invitation for Reggie in particular. All the boys are wearing the identical Chuck Taylor high-rise sneakers - is this part of the Blossom sponsorship?

Reggie I guess always stays later than everyone else to practice a bit more (and to avoid Julian), because when he heads into the locker room the only one there is Archie. Archie tries to get Reggie to commit to coming to the mixer (“They’re always a gas and a half!”). Reggie shuts him down forthwith.

In an echo of Mad Dog Munroe from the OG timeline, Reggie of 1955 wants to get a scholarship for college through his sports skills. Archie is wearing yellow to show his, uh, solidarity I guess with Reggie. (I rarely recall Archie in yellow, but also I am cranky now from all this unprecedented history research I’m being made to do.) Archie really, really, truly, desperately, like a WHOLE LOT wants to be friends with Reggie, not just roommate and host. He wants to know why Reggie can’t “cut loose a little.” He even tries to gloss the turd that Julian laid with his reluctant invitation, upgrading what Julian said (“We’ll be welcoming our newest Bulldog to the family, I suppose”) to “you’re the guest of honor.” Reggie refuses to go along to get along. In response to being called “naive,” Archie calls Reggie “a killjoy.” He wants Reggie to meet Riverdale’s Bulldogs “halfway.” This turns out to be a trigger for Reggie to tell his story.

Oh, before he tells his story he correctly points out that outside of Archie, who is tone deaf and determined to not see any unpleasantness even as it’s right in his face, nobody else has taken any sort of step towards him.

Bret (who is also alive - yay! - and a basketball player in this universe) of Stonewall Prep put up a hugely labor intensive prank of getting a really big bag of rice into Reggie’s locker, tearing it halfway open and then wedging it so that as soon as Reggie opens the door an avalanche of cascades from it all over the floor. He also concocted some sort of mean line (“You guys like rice” and “Enough to take back to the farm” and also “Yellow belly” which is kind of funny actually - if someone called me Yellow Belly I’d laugh, but I suppose any of the actually on-point racist epithets aren’t allowed on American television). The sheer amount of effort that something like this takes marks people who are bullies to be absolutely psychotic. Bret and Co. basically ran Reggie out of the school. Reggie in the OG universe felt safe telling Archie his most painful secrets (back then they were about his father who was openly abusive to the passive observation of everyone else in town, which is also a sort of racist reaction - “Those people are just like that” - which, no we are not). Reggie is so hurt. He’s determined to not “give anyone a chance to humiliate” him “ever again.”

OK so this is a great character moment for Reggie, but of course, people of color having to relive their most wounding moments of racist trauma in a way that feels sufficiently authentic, and/or literally bare their broken bodies (i.e. the open casket photo of Emmet Till which started this season) for the edification of single special white persons is a racist trope which keeps getting regurgitated as being meaningful in American popular culture. This time, Archie is the special white person. Plus, instead of just being ashamed of their appalling ignorance, the white person always gets to have their say according to the trope, which Archie does here as well. (“We’re not like that here.”) Reggie though gets the final word, which is very nice; “Aren't you?”

Wounded Reggie is wearing the navy jersey top. Wounded Cheryl is wearing a violet-navy long coat, with red accents (gloves, collar, shoes, file folder, patent leather shoulder bag) as she descends the steps of the school. Can we just talk about how hard it is to get the exact same shade of anything for an outfit like this, nevermind red, and across so many different articles of dress? I covet the coat and the bag, especially.

Toni is waiting for her. The way she says “hello” like a scared little cat filled me with tenderness. This season’s highlight of Cheryl’s essential softness has been wonderful for me. Cheryl says she’s being “stoic and strong for the sake of” the Vixens. Toni doesn’t really pretend to care about that. Instead she directly asks for money. Toni sells the journal idea to Cheryl as “a way to express ourselves on our own terms.” Cheryl indicates that she’s all for it, but that Featherhead might nix it.

Because Toni is doing this social justice type thing but the only three black students with actually speaking parts are all dating white people and there is a statistically anomalous over representation of not-straights, the show has a black extra stand on the steps of the school to show that there are indeed other black students. His legs stay in view the entire time Toni and Cheryl are talking .

Cheryl even volunteers to bake for a fundraising bake sale, if it comes to it.

Cheryl then asks if she was dumped for being white. Toni says yes, which is very brutal. I have no idea what the hell this is supposed to indicate because um, what is wrong with Toni? Did she somehow discover that she is more black than she thought? But she’s dated not-black women before, no? Her and Lizzo are exes, right?

At the fundraiser mixer thing at the Blossoms, a mixed race couple (a white man and a black woman) pointedly walk across the screen. Fangs is posing for Midge, which Cheryl intercepts by hauling Midge off screen as the camera moves on in one long take towards ARchie, who is hanging out at the food spread. The Blossoms own what looks like an enormous oil painting based off of an Audubon print. Why that bird and why this shot I don’t know. Betty approaches him for a chat.

When asked how being a Vixen is going, Betty says that she’s been forced into it by Werther, who thought it would “burn off excess energy.” They both agree that adults are really stupid about the fact that becoming more cardio-fit doesn’t actually make you LESS horny. Plus the outfits and all the looking at boys in short shorts? How exactly would this make Betty not think about getting naked with boys? Betty tries to tell Archie that there’s a weird system of “taking care” of basketball players on the cheerleading squad but Archie is not listening at all. Oh- by the by - now that Toni is off the squad, does this mean Archie is the one boy without an assigned cheerleader?

Anyway, drawn by the power of recessive genes, Archie has made eye contact with Clifford Blossom. He is summoned to the circle of people of the inner sanctum at this party - the Blossom parents, Julian, Uncle Fucking Frank and one more dude whom I don’t know named Dennis. Penelope is wearing the most extraordinarily unflattering terrible dress of all time. I am so fascinated. It’s a long dress with sewn on details all down both sides from the waist to ankle mimicking the effect of a hoop skirt, making the extremely narrow and petite Penelope look as wide as a barn door.

Clifford Blossom wants to discuss Reggie, his “secret weapon.” Clifford, with Julian behind him, says that being forced to share a room with Reggie is a “sacrifice” that he appreciates Archie for being willing to take on. Archie is “cranked” to do it. Dennis says he wouldn’t be able to tolerate such a thing, having to “bunk with a…..” [Korean yellow belly? Lol why does that sound like a species of bird or fish?] Penelope chimes in saying that having Reggie around is “a necessary evil.” Clifford Blossom is obsessed with winning. Oh and he was also a former Bulldog basketball player. He then turns to Frank to say that he was initially skeptical of bringing on a “Korean prodigy.” Clifford is offended by Reggie’s absence, even though he finds what he’s seen of Reggie’s basketball skills very impressive. Archie, possibly because he had that talk with Reggie earlier or maybe because the recessive gene holders communicate better with each other, realizes that he needs to say the right things to Clifford Blossom and tries to appease him, by saying that Reggie “doesn’t want to fall behind on his schoolwork,” which is why he’s not here at this party kissing Clifford’s ass. Clifford, intending that this message be conveyed by Archie, threatens Reggie that if he doesn’t keep smiling while bringing home the championship trophy, there will be “trouble for his family.”

Why? Why will there be trouble for his family? What is Reggie’s father? Are both his parents illegal immigrants? (But how was his father able to enlist for the army?) Is this something to do with his mother’s status? Did they break anti miscegenation laws? WHAT?

Dennis smiles evilly at this threat, but it has no teeth because I have no idea why it’s threatening. Archie is perturbed enough to take his leave right then. We scan to Cheryl, having overheard this entire exchange, also look quite upset.

At the movie theater, Veronica is very pleased to see Reggie. She needles him right away, and he banters right back - I thought you didn’t like movies vs I didn’t say that, I just said my town didn’t have a movie theater. Why oh why is Veronica so desperate though? She hits on Reggie in the most nakedly fishing-for-compliments way. And why oh why are these dudes so brutal to her? Reggie bluntly says he didn’t even remember he might run into Veronica at this theater. Forgot all about her. What the hell.

Veronica rewards his churlishness with free popcorn. 1955 Veronica being overly generous to whatever boy she is interested in is upsetting to me the way 2020 Adult Veronica was never not drinking liquor. When Kevin points out that what Reggie just said was quite rude (as though he himself did any better? Hypocrite.) Veronica says this about Reggie:

“Take a powder, Herman Melville, because that is the real Moby Dick.”

I’ve already made the post about how this is a joke about Asian Dick Size. But also, a second layer of this is that she called an Asian guy a Great White Whale.

Meanwhile, Jughead has taken Tabitha all the way back to his home that Veronica has fixed up for him for free.

Actually the line progression is very hilarious:

“... that is the real Moby dick.”

[pinging music]

Tabitha’s voice: “Wow this is like the Orient Express!”

So they managed to work the word “Orient” in here I guess. Well done. Tabitha has brought Jughead a book gift. “Darkwater: Voices from Within the Veil by WEB Du Bois.” Jughead pronounces it Du-Bwah, which Tabitha corrects as Du-Boyz. We’re not allowed to make a pun about Du Bois I guess, like call him Trois Bois. Jughead is impressed with the title, so Tabitha tells him to read “The Comet” first since he likes science fiction. She describes the actual real story written by Du Bois, which is “one of the first times an interracial relationship has been depicted in science fiction.” She wants to read it aloud together with her new white boyfriend. Jughead looks entranced by the twitchy cuteness of Tabitha as she suggests this activity.

Archie has come back home to find Reggie reading Super Duck(written by Jughead??) on his bed. Reggie wants to know if the cheerleaders looked pretty at the mixer, but Archie is too burdened by the choice of whether to convey Clifford Blossom’s threat to Reggie, and opts the path of least resistance. He doesn't convey the message, and skips out on further discussion about the event with Reggie. Reggie seems to take this as a dismissal of his overture which is intended as an apology and a gesture of friendship.

The next day, Julian is being obnoxious at the basketball practice. Uncle Fucking Frank is ‘in a meeting’ so Julian runs warm up, to bully the shit out of Reggie. At some point he calls Reggie “Banana Boy” which is another ridiculous epithet. I kind of wish they would either not address the fact that hate speech exists or just use the actual examples because this and Yellow Belly just aren’t cutting enough. In any case, Reggie reacts like he’s been called a proper slur. Reggie refuses to pass the ball to Julian, instead giving it to Archie. Archie, however, decides to um, White Knight the situation. He punches Julian so hard he knocks him flat on the ground.

I mean, it can’t be that hard, because Jughead Jones managed to do this on behalf of Ethel Muggs. But the violence startles Fangs and Dilton on the bench, and Reggie grimaces because he just wants to get his NCAA scholarship and get out of this general area.

Archie gives an anti-racism speech to his teammates about Reggie, based on Reggie’s merits. Merits based arguments in service of anti-racism only feed the racism, so I’m not sure this is better for Reggie’s life than just not saying anything. Moreover, in a very strange move, whoever directed this decided to have a black extra stand next to a white one as the main 2 people that Archie appears to be directing his speech at (Julian is still flat on the ground). Um. The look that the black student gives Archie can only be described as disassociated. Archie says that if any player can’t get on board with being true teammates and supporting Reggie be his excellent self, they are free to leave. He even tells Julian “that includes you, too, captain.”

Meanwhile, at the offices of the Blue and Gold, with the world “Gold” in huge font right behind her head, Cheryl hands Toni a check. It sounds like she’s committed a form of embezzlement, diverting funds that were originally intended for something else, on her own cognizance, without Featherhead final approval. Even though Cheryl took a huge personal risk, her toxic ex girlfriend Toni does not give a shit. She even shittily helps herself to a ‘plausible deniability’ option (“Well I won’t ask any more questions.”). Cheryl is so disappointed.

Toni stops her just as she’s about to step out the door, to ask what her plans are after cheerleading practice. Oh Cheryl. She’s twisting her hands, almost breaking them off the stem, when she tells Toni she doesn’t have plans, because she is so hopeful. Toni asks her out on another date. “About what it would mean if we tried again.” Cheryl is so happy her eyes are tearing up, but I hate this. It reads to me just like Toni has realized she has more ways she can use Cheryl than just for the power trip of bringing someone out and taking their virginity.

Meanwhile, Reggie and Archie are sitting together in the boys’ locker room. “I didn’t sock Julian for you,” he says, confirming that that is indeed what he was doing. He’s had a realization, he seems to say, that Riverdale is “just as messed up as any other place.” Then he says the pivotal thing, the only true thing he can say with any conviction: “I don’t know.”

In a weird reward for his outburst of violence, Reggie accepts the friendship overture at last, asking of Archie wants to grab a burger “on the way home.” This is as sour to me as Toni wanting to restart things with Cheryl only after she has the check in hand. Archie says sure.

Jughead has stayed up all night reading the “Comet” story (about a comet hitting NYC and only two people surviving) and talking about it with Tabitha. Why can’t we at least get a montage of this? Why do all the important Tabitha things have to happen OFF screen?

In any case, because the experience was so “swell” he runs immediately to his adopted daddy to tell him all about it. When he gets to Rayberry’s apartment, however, he is told by Sheriff Keller that Rayberry has killed himself. (They are just now covering the body on the gurney with a sheet). “I can no longer continue living this way.” Jughead is deeply upset. Keller is kind enough to say he is sorry because he knows Jughead was friends with Rayberry.

[charliethomascoxuniverse]

Being raised Catholic helped Charlie Cox with his Daredevil role

Charlie Cox feels the pressure of playing a Catholic superhero in a major new Netflix series

By Ed Power  02 APR, 2015  (X)

CHARLIE COX’S tights are in a twist.

“I’m under a bit of pressure,” says the British actor, soon to be seen squeezed into the spandex of Marvel superhero Daredevil.

“If the show fails, it’s my responsibility, to a degree. You just have to keep your fingers crossed. As an actor this is what you want really, isn’t it? You have to focus on the positives."

Cox has consciously avoided Ben Affleck’s notorious 2003 sortie as Daredevil. A blind human rights lawyer by day, lycra-sporting avenger by night, Daredevil is no run-of-the-mill crime fighter and Affleck struggled to get inside the character.

The result was a movie that was laughed out of the box office and which constituted a serious body blow against Affleck’s credibility.

In Cox’s case, the challenge has been made easier somewhat thanks to the reboot’s relative subtlety and sophistication. Indeed, across its first few episodes, Daredevil 2.0 hardly feels like a superhero yarn at all.

The setting is gritty New York and Matt Murdock (Daredevil’s everyday alias) spends almost as much time practising law and struggling with his Catholic faith as kicking bad guys around.

The super-dark sensibility flows from a desire on behalf of Netflix, which has bankrolled the adaptation, to create a comic book show for adults, explains Cox.

“Tonally and thematically, it has a slightly more grown-up audience in mind,” he says.” It is the first Marvel show that has a PG-16 rating. So we are able to include guts and gore, as well as more adult themes. It suits the character. He is geared towards a slightly more adult audience.”

GOING BEYOND BEANO

Growing up, Cox’s comic book experiences were confined to Beano and Dandy. He was aware, vaguely, of Daredevil. 

It was only after signing up for the part, however, that it dawned on him how central a place the character occupies in the Marvel canon.

Was he nervous? Only after people told him that he should be nervous.

“I was in blissful ignorance about the whole thing. Then, I threw myself into the lore. It was a learning curve. I went to ComicCon and talked with fans. And I saw the online reaction as images were released.

“It became increasingly jittery. It’s a big responsibility, portraying this character. I’m cautiously optimistic — I think we are going to satisfying the expectations of Daredevil fans who have maybe not been satisfied in the past.”

This isn’t Cox’s first brush with the A-list. In 2007, he starred alongside Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer and Claire Danes in Matthew Vaughn’s Stardust. He recalls feeling awkward under the spotlight, unsure how to handle his sudden prominence.

Second time around, and now a relatively mature 32, he is in a stronger place.

“With Stardust, I was one of the lead parts and I did a major press tour. I remember feeling overwhelmed. Of course, that was quite a few years ago. This time I’m going in from a stronger place, fingers crossed.”

WELL HEELED

Perhaps it’s testament to his relative lack of fame, but Cox is far more down to earth than most actors at his level. We meet in a hotel in central London and he appears genuinely gobsmacked I would fly from Ireland to interview him.

Later, I spy him in the journalists’ holding pen next door, chomping one of the complimentary sandwiches and shooting the breeze with the attendant hacks. It’s as if nobody filled him on the first rule of the entertainment industry press junket: On no account fraternise with the media.

Cox was born in 1982 in London and brought up in the East Sussex countryside. He is supremely well-heeled, his father a prominent publisher (the Cox family tree encompasses two baronets, a colonial governor of New York and the fourth Earl of Findlater).

After private school, he studied acting at the prestigious Old Vic film school in Bristol, from where he was cast, almost immediately, in Stardust. The film was not a big hit and, for the next several years, Cox worked almost exclusively in theatre.

However, he was reintroduced to international audiences by Martin Scorsese, who gave him a part in his HBO prohibition drama Boardwalk Empire (as an IRA gun-runner with a not-terrible Irish accent).

EYES HAVE IT

Going into Daredevil, the actor’s big concern was accurately portraying a blind man. Matt Murdock is sightless, but gifted, with heightened senses, which allow him leap tall building and beat up bad guys with minimal effort.

So determined was Cox to honour the source material, he hired a ‘blind’ consultant.

“I was quiteworried about appearing authentic. I eventually just went back and watched Scent of a Woman.

“Sometimes, it is believable, simply because the audience knows you are blind. You don’t have to make a song and dance about it. The trick is never to look anyone in the eyes when you’re talking to them.”

Realistically portraying a blind man paled compared to the other requirement of the gig: A superhero physique. A slender chap, Cox has had to bulk up and develop pecs in places he never suspected he could have pecs.

“I hadn’t had gym membership before. It was a new world for me. You have to drink endless protein shakes, which has a big effect on your body. You are passing wind non-stop. It’s pretty full on.”

He was better placed when it came to dealing with Murdock’s religious beliefs.

A rare superhero with a strong faith, in Daredevil Murdock spends a lot of time agonizing in church. This was no big deal for Cox.

“I was raised a Catholic. It definitely helped. You grow up steeped in that. If you’re in church, standing in front of the altar, you sort of automatically know how to respond. It all kicks in — you genuflect, you sit in the pew. I didn’t have to pretend any of that. I grew up with it and I found that enormously helpful.”

~*~

[niklausxcaroline]

Hi :) what are your faves kdrama ?

Hi hi! :D Whenever I get ask about favorite dramas my perspective always seems to change as time goes by tbh! Here's an old ask from 2021 that included my favorite kdramas — but now I'm honestly really picky with what I call a "favorite" drama. Like yes, I still very much enjoyed past ones I called a favorite but if I had to put it in a category it'd be that I just enjoyed it a lot in the moment. If that makes any sort of sense 😭 For a drama to be a favorite I literally need to feel some sort of attachment to it. So if I would give a list of fave kdramas it would literally be like just one ngl 😅 But anyways I'll list kdramas that I enjoyed watching and would recommend giving a try! (read until the end for that one favorite kdrama haha)

2023:

— My Lovely Boxer | episodes: 12, duration: 1hr. 10 min. genres: drama, romance, sports. » Main leads chemistry and bickering 💯

— Destined With You | episodes: 16, duration: 1hr. 10 min. genres: comedy, fantasy, romance. » Plot 🙅‍♀️ Couple being sick in love w each other 👌

2022:

— May It Please the Court | episodes: 12, duration: 1hr. 5 min. genres: comedy, drama, law. » Fun, fun leads! Great chemistry, great acting, love me a law drama. 👩‍⚖️

— One Dollar Lawyer | episodes: 12, duration: 1hr. 10 min. genres: comedy, drama, law. » All around fun characters, great fits. Wacky scenes? ✓ Serious scenes? ✓

2021 and previous years:

— Idol: The Coup (2021) | episodes: 12, duration: 1hr. 25 min. genres: drama, music, youth. » If you're in the mood for an drama about idols... great music ✓ intense chemistry ✓

— To My Star (2021) + (Season 2!) | episodes: 09, duration: 0hr. 15 min. genres: comedy, romance, youth. » 🫶 Such an enjoyable watch, honestly! 🫶

— One the Woman (2021) | episodes: 16, duration: 1hr. 10 min. genres: comedy, mystery, romance. » idk i just remember enjoying this one with a lot of laughs! and honey lee kills it every time!!

— 365: Repeat the Year (2020) | episodes: 24, duration: 0 hr. 35 min. genres: fantasy, mystery, thriller. » I loved this drama a lot and the main two leads were everything!! 🥹

— Run On (2020) | episodes: 16, duration: 1 hr. 15 min. genres: life, romance, sports. » such a treat it was! everyone was chaotic, ki seon-gyeom i miss u 🤏

— Live On (2020) | episodes: 08, duration: 1 hr. 3 min. genres: comedy, romance, youth. » i remember loving female leads growth!! and the leads relationship was v cute!

— Radio Romance (2018) | episodes: 16, duration: 1 hr. 10 min. genres: business, comedy, romance. » 🫶 it's just a kdrama i love a lot 😭 and had a blast rewatching last january 😭 might be bias bc im in love with yoon doojoon lol but the first time i watched back in 2018 i didn't know much about him and i remember enjoying it then as well. idk i just love it and enjoyed it to the fullest. ✨

— While You Were Sleeping (2017) | episodes: 32, duration: 30 min. genres: comedy, fantasy, mystery, romance, thriller. » "So, the first kdrama I ever watched! It holds a special place in my heart because of that fact! The soundtrack for this drama also... I remember listening to it on repeat for a while after finishing." < What I previously said which still holds true! >

— Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (2016) | episodes: 16, duration: 1 hr. 22 min. genres: comedy, fantasy, melodrama, romance, supernatural. » Not me just rewatching this a bit ago... still v funny and iconic 😭

+ A Business Proposal (2022), A Piece of Your Mind (2020), Extraordinary You (2019), Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (2017), Secret Forest (2017) + season 2 (2020)

I'm probably missing others I enjoyed but these are like the ones I remember the most enjoying. I mean I have like the worst memory soo 😅

Drumroll my favorite kdrama?!?

— Splash Splash Love (2015) | episodes: 02, duration: 1 hr. 10 min. genres: comedy, historical, romance, supernatural. » "This one isn’t an full length drama but a special. It’s just a fun and charming drama? Like not exactly sure what about it made me love it so much? but I do and it’s an easy/quick watch. :)"

+ I know what made me love it so much = yoon doojoon (once again) 😂 for real though, I just love this special to pieces. and i wish it was an actual full-length drama 😭 like it's everything and i always think about it every now and then 🥺 their chemistry was everything! their acting was so good! i am so sad we didnt get moreee 😭😭😭

anyways!! i'm just a weird when it comes to something being a favorite like i only have one all time favorite drama ever (Talio Fukushu Daiko no Futari, 2020.) that i never shut up about and that's itt. 😅😭

[acefms]

MEET FELIX !

if you’re hearing WASTED TIMES by THE WEEKND playing, you have to know FELIX CASTILLO (HE/HIM; CIS MALE) is near by! the 32 year old LATE NIGHT RADIO HOST/SPORTS REPORTER has been in denver for, like, THIRTY-TWO YEARS. they’re known to be quite SABOTAGING, but being GREGARIOUS seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble SEAN TEALE. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those A LONG LIST OF SCANDALS, AN EVER MISCHIEVOUS GRIN, THE ORIGINAL FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT, LIFE AND SOUL OF THE PARTY LEFT DEFLATED AT THE END OF THR NIGHT, PLAYBOY TURNED DOTING DAD vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the CHERRY CREEK long enough!

NAME: felix mateo castillo

AGE: thirty-two

HOMETOWN: denver, colorado

BIRTHDAY: march 27th

ZODIAC: aries

GENDER: male he/him

SEXUALITY: fluid, but strong female lean

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

OCCUPATION: late night radio host/sports reporter

[ tw: alcohol consumption, drug use, cheating scandals, unplanned pregnancy .]

• Felix is very much a nepo baby, and he doesn’t shy away from the conversation of his privilege, he’s very aware of it and is fine with using it to his full advantage (though he does work hard). His mother is a retired famous catwalk model who still has very big ties in the fashion industry, and his father is a well-known morning talk show host/mainstream presenter. To the outside world they seemingly have the perfect relationship, and either his mother is very good at pretending or she assumes they do too. Felix, however, is very aware that his father is a serial cheater and it has caused a great deal of friction. Mainly because his father is the first to judge him, when he isn’t squeaky clean himself. The eldest of three with two younger sisters, he’s most definitely the family disappointment. He says he doesn’t care, but wouldn’t anyone ?

• Popular in high school, he went on to study both broadcast and sports journalism once he graduated. Upon leaving college he quickly fell into the position of sports reporter for a local sports channel, but after only three and a half years he would be fired after it came to light he was sleeping with his bosses wife. It would be his first scandal, but certainly not his last.

• As his name grew, so did his bad reputation. Partying too much, drug consumption, and branded a home-wrecker for more than just the one affair. Using it to his advantage, he decided to host his own late-night, no filter radio show which seems to be really taking off. And while his name will likely always be tainted, some people have changed their opinion of him. While he no longer officially reports on sport, it is something he is passionate about and often documents on his inst*gram, and it’s definitely something he plans to return to in the future.

• A one night stand with a close friend lead to an unexpected pregnancy, and at the age of twenty-nine Felix became a father far sooner than he’d ever expected. While challenging at first, he fully stepped up and to everyone’s surprise, has his son 50% of the time and shares a great coparenting relationship with the boys mother. It’s helped him become somewhat of a better person, but some habits are harder to kick than others. It can’t be denied that he’s a great father though. But he still likes to have his fun too.

HEADCANNONS

• His parents weren’t present for a good portion of his upbringing, and while he has a closer bond with his mother, they’ve never been a typical family. They seem to want him around more now that he has a child, but he wishes to keep his son away from the toxicity.

• Despite his reputation and habit of saying exactly what he’s thinking on his show, he’s actually very articulate and educated. But he isn’t in any way afraid to stir the pot and go against the expected opinion.

• His son is called Nicholas and is three and is very much in the crazy toddler stage.

• When he doesn’t have his son you can find him driving an expensive sports car, but when he does have him it a sensible vehicle.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

The mother of his child — the most important person in his life other than his child. I imagine them being good friends with a very flirtatious banter before they spent the night together, and now they’re in each others lives for the foreseeable, I could definitely see some feelings growing. Literally a family without being together lol (going to add a wc for this)

The wife of his past boss — while they took part in an affair, overtime there was real care between them. I imagine he’s very much still there for her whenever she needs help with anything, though his romantic feelings are gone now, theirs could still be there. Very open!

Enemy/dislike — did he sleep with their mom, sister, girlfriend ? Or do they just not like him. Open to anything tbh !!

Best friend — give me messy besties please, or someone do opposite to him it shouldn’t work, but it does.

one night stands/flings, went to school together, college friends. Potential for co-host? And I’m sure he’s interviews a lot of influential people in town so maybe they’ve been on his show. He’s very open so anything tbh!!

[themaethpost]

Now Presenting: Matías D'Angelis, the librarian.

Full name: Matías Gabriel D’Angelis.

Age: 32 years old.

Birthday: 23rd November.

Sexual orientation: Pansexual.

Pet: Juno, the black kitty.

Personality.

Birth chart (big three): Sagittarius sun, Scorpio moon, Gemini rising.

MBTI: INTP-T.

Patron Arcana:  The Hermit.

Upright: Soul-searching, introspection, being alone, inner guidance.

Reversed: Isolation, loneliness, withdrawal.

Minor Arcana: Six of Cups.

Upright: Revisiting the past, childhood memories, innocence, joy.

Reversed: Living in the past, forgiveness, lacking playfulness.

Likes: Tea enthusiast, patchwork quilts made by his grandma, salamander stoves, when books are well-lived (coffee stains, worn out pages, annotations), open windows in every space he is in, black and white checker tiles on his bathroom, when Juno sits on his chest and purrs, thunderstorms, mint chocolate in every single way it could be ordered, blue soft cotton shirts, reuniting with the guys for friendly football matches on Fridays, when schools have a Library day and all the little kids say hi to him, the private section of the library where he only has access, knuckle and jaw kisses, foot massages, ivy growing on the side of his building, sealing cards with fancy wax, cooking for his loved ones, sunbathing at the river, brown corduroy jackets.

Dislikes: The sound of the kettle when the water is boiling, having to make his bed in the morning, when Juno climbs the trees near his balcony to sleep and has to wait for her to come back home, abrupt change, being so swamped in work he doesn’t have time to see his loved ones, the fact that his grandma is way too old now, when people lose their library card and has to do all the paperwork again, being late to things, bad grammar, feeling like he’s losing a debate.

Abilities: He’s a great swimmer and knows how to knit even if he doesn’t want to admit it, he’s incredibly good at crosswords (maybe because he spend his whole life with his nose in books), knows how to recycle paper and turn it into beautiful notebooks where we lays down different play plots ideas he wants to full-on write but is too afraid to actually do it.

Favourite food: Milanesas a la napolitana.

Favourite drink: Mint Iced Tea.

Favourite flower: Calla lillies.

Appearance.

Height: 6’1 ft or 185 cm.

Weight: 163 lbs or 74 kg.

Hair: He’s got dark brown hair with truly defined curls that he styles with a bit of hair wax, only a little bit, just for his curls to hold on for the entirety of the day. It’s a lot of hair but it’s not long per se, just really shaggy all over.

Eyes: His kind, sleepy, black eyes are so soft letting everyone see how he spend all night reading instead of getting a good night’s sleep. He also has dark circles under his eyes but his smile always hides them. A few wrinkles appeared when he turned 30 but they’re not super noticiable. 

General description: Even if he tries to hide his slender body with his clothes because he’s not that proud of his lack of muscles, his back is well defined and big, just a bit bony, but its decorated with a ton of little dark freckles that also appear in his chest, legs and arms. His most noticiable feature is his beautiful roman nose and that well-defined jawline. His eyebrows are kind of bushy but he combs them with a little spoolie brush his grandma gave him, and a few freckles appear all over his face when summer arrives and sun touches his face. He’s got veiny (cold) hands.

Fashion sense: Matías really likes layering. White or back cotton shirt, button up shirt, some dress grey or black slacks and Oxford shoes are his go-to outfit for work, depending on the weather he would usually wear a cardigan or a turtleneck sweater too. He would never leave without his watch on his left wrists and he isn’t that much of a fan of jewellery. Another outfit that’s pretty common for him is his soccer attire, jersey and sport shorts with his worn out cleats. In the privacy of his own home is very rare for him to wear a shirt and he prefers to walk around in his comfy blue square-pattern cotton pants.

A brief look into his life.

Occupation: The National Library of Maeth is gigantic to say the least and he’s been working at this place for the past ten years or so, he doesn’t even remember anymore. They have different sections and long, long corridors full of knowledge and fictional stories with space to sit down and read for hours. He’s the one to go for recommendations, to find an specific book or to check one out. Remember, you only have one month and it has to be returned in perfect conditions!

Love interest: 

Yasue Kumagai.

Family and friends:

Elsa Torrente D’Angelis, grandmother. 

Sergio D'Angelis, father.

Paz D’Angelis, half sibling. 

Juan Cruz D’Angelis, half sibling.

Anshelinah Circe, best friend.

Tomás, Marcos, Cole, Shuhei, Emilio and Draigh, his friend group.

Fiorella, Van, Josefina and Dario, co-workers.

Miscellaneous facts:

He baby-talks ridiculously to Juno. It’s super embarrassing. 

He’s a tea connoisseur. Has a big box with different flavoured teas from all over the globe.

Surprisingly, he loves to go on outdoor adventures even more so if it means he’ll get to jump down big rocks to a body of water or zip line from mountain to mountain. 

He likes to visit his grandma at least once a week, whenever he can at least to say hello and drink a cup of tea with the lady.

He wants tattoos but is afraid of needles and sharp things. 

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Konga Songa

You know what? It’s time to appease Slaanesh.

Time to review something seedy.

...

Kind of...

Sort of...

Not really.

G5: Kama Sutra (Hurr Durr)

Main author(s): Adolf Vojta (Gusta) and Jakub Razák (Method)

Release date: March 9th, 2005 (database upload)

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: Vanilla

Levels: 32 (standard 30 + 2)

Okay, let’s get this out of the way first. Kama Sutra is not some Rule 34 WAD that will make twelve-year-olds giggle like Japanese schoolgirls every second map (that honor goes to HDoom). It’s actually a spiritual successor to Hell Revealed... which means you might spend days trying to finish it after taking a couple of breaks if you are not some Doom-speedrunning masochists that the authors of this WAD are.

It is also one of the first WADs that not only earned one of the main awards but also one of the bonus ones. In this WAD’s case, it was Mockaward for the funniest WAD of the year.

Did it deserve the reward, though? Like any of these two? Well, let’s find out.

For a vanilla-compatible WAD, Karma Suta looks great. While there are some duds that are basically Hell Revealed-like maps but different, there are maps that might make you drop a jaw on the floor. And just like Suspended in Dusk, some of the better-looking maps have amazing details; not as close to the stuff from the previous WAD but having more soul than there due to the bigger variety of biomes.

The music wasn’t annoying to listen to. In fact, some of the tracks were absolute bangers. This soundtrack includes stuff like a scuffed version of Smooth Criminal, a shit ton of music tracks from Duke Nukem 3D and Rise of the Triad, and even a MIDIfied version of Stairway to Heaven (which is the best track; and it comes from someone who either didn’t listen to the original version or can’t remember when he did that).

When it comes to understanding how the levels play, Karmic Suit isn’t hard. Sure, some of the levels are kind of mangled, and backtracking in some of these is really obnoxious but I don’t think there was anything particularly awful.

Oh, and also, most of the time, you end up levels by going through the same-looking teleporter.

Most of the levels tend to have something that makes them stand out from the others. I’ll try to explain some of these:

The Hidden Engine has an interesting mechanic in that you don’t use the keys you got. The passage that leads to the exit opens up just by grabbing the keys themselves (since the name of the map).

Time Is Tickin' Out makes itself look like time is passing by with each grabbed key; it even gets darker with the last key. It’s like the time was passing differently in the dimension (probably) you grab the keys.

Execution starts out with you on an electric chair, referencing Death Row from Duke Nukem 3D.

Miss Sporty is kind of hilarious since you are basically wrecking demons’ arses on a sports stadium. The concept of Doomguy ruining demons’ day when they all want to have fun kind of makes me chuckle.

Cyber Machine starts out with you trying to run to the nearby teleporter and you have to slowly get there with platforms that slowly go down (you will end up soft-locked if you aren’t fast enough) while defending yourself from Cacos. A funny moment that I wish the middle part of this map was (I’ll get to that later).

The Train Is Approaching is a homage to Alien Vendetta’s Clandestine Complex, down to the similar style and music track used in both maps. It is also a complete migraine maker since even if you know where to go, you will still end up going through the long, mangled paths, even when the next objective is right next to you.

Traps, if you didn’t get it from the title already, has shitty traps that are basically a fuck you kind. Sure these traps are just barrels and not some firing squad of Hoovies but it was still filth to experience. Also, there is another fun moment when you lower the blue key from the hanging cage.

Cow Face, asides from accidentally looking similar to the cow’s head, gives me Plutonia’s Hunted vibes. Not really with Arch-viles in the labyrinth but with the yellow and red keys having their respectful switches on the other side where there are supposed to be.

Stairway to Heaven is like a min-golf course; with almost each section dedicated to one of the weapons of your arsenal. it is also my favorite map of Konga Silly.

And speaking of silly, we have reached a moment that gave Kombat Slaughter Mockaward: MAP30 - <|> AKA Pica as I like to call it.

What’s up with this map, you may ask? Well, you have to choose between kids and adults routes. Choosing adults will send you to the arena... with a naked woman spreading her legs and flashing you with her pussy...

You facepalm. You are filled with cringe.

...that functions as Icon of Sin... and you have to shove rockets up her glory hole... while being bombarded by up to eight siege cows...

...

...

...

You have now officially lost a plot.

You bash your head on your desk.

Okay, look, I get it! Czech people have a different sense of humor, and it was made in 2005, the time that such a thing was much more acceptable and probably hilarious... but seriously?! That’s the reason why this WAD was rewarded as the funniest WAD of the year?! Another shitty Icon of Sin boss with Cyberdemon-made firing squadron that just so happens that looks like Vagineer’s face and has a Cancan dance music... THAT COMES FROM ONE OF THE LEMMINGS GAMES?!?!

You bash your head on your desk several additional times.

You know... I could... I could partially understand Khrono Sumo getting Mockaward due to more levels having funny concepts than just MAP30, like Miss Sporty or Stairway to Heaven to some degree. But the fact that I didn’t see anything funny mentioned asides from Pica in Cacowards 2005, makes me question the Doom community’s sense of humor back in that year, along with how low it was. It’s ridiculous.

And by the way, you wanna know what the kids route is? You simply wait for an exit to lower while dodging up to eight Cyberdemons attacking you. It still reeks of bullshit but I would rather play this than suffer through another Icon of Sin ending.

And no, I ain’t gonna show you the adult route, because 1. I have no pictures of it, 2. Even if I had pictures of it, Tumblr would probably shadowban me for posting it, and 3. I’m not playing this route because I’m not into completely naked bodies, real-file, or fiction. Look at this map somewhere else.

At this point, you should realize that Kurkuma Salad is really hard. I can’t explain exactly the difficulty of this MegaWAD, so I’d like to kind of repeat myself from the beginning of this review: if you are a masochist that beats WADs like that for breakfast every day (and is probably to speedrunning too) then you will be in a viscera-filled heaven. But if you are closer to someone like me who’s not exactly into a few hundred monsters on the screen/area, you will probably finish this WAD once, and not touch it for a very long time, if at all.

Let’s come back for a moment to Cyber Machine. I briefly mention its middle part not being good, and that’s because you are forced to fight in a tight area with four cows while their alcoves open up and close down one at a time; not to mention pressing switches in these alcoves after dealing with them (in a specific order I might add). Playing this map normally is a chore. Playing it while also Pistol-starting is a nightmare since you have to deal with Cyberdemons with nothing but the Super-Shotgun. You might as well jump on a teleporter in the middle of that area (if your source port allows that).

At least I can say that the last area is somewhat fun if you don’t play it on UV.

Then there is Hard Target. A shit-ton of enemies for the sake of a map with a shit-ton of enemies, around half of the map having damaging floors, pop-up Cyberdemons. being surrounded by three of these at the starting area where they will keep bombarding you unless you know where the telefragging teleporters are (at least two of these, third Cyberdemon will die in the mosh pit of demons behind him), the flood of tomatoes and meatballs after dealing with one of the switches that lead to the exit or something like that; these are just a few things that I remember about this hellhole. And the fact that this map ends up sandwiched between Stairway to Heaven and I’m just a DOOM Addict (which is a pretty cool map) doesn’t help.

My advice to you asides from not playing on UV on your first playthrough: Ignore stuff in the center and focus on switch areas.

Asides from a few graphical glitches that I encountered, and some of the music tracks being slowed down (for unknown reasons) and/or not looping properly, there weren’t any bugs around this WAD. There is still stuff written in Doomworld and in the text file though.

Also, even though this WAD is vanilla-compatible, it’s still better to use a limit-removing source port since most of these maps are too big/have too much stuff in them to be saved. Here’s Adolf Vojta’s answer to that problem:

Who use savegames nowadays anyway?

Not you apparently, at least in 2005 when you were a speedrunner, therefore a masochist (probably).

Hindu Book of Monkey Fun is a better Hell Revealed sequel than HRII. At least it looks better than that WAD, and it gave me more fun and had more maps that were more than just shove as many enemies as possible mentality.

Unfortunately, after playing this MegaWAD twice, I think I’m’ experiencing burnout at this point. Not to even mention the personal stuff I have to deal with. So to not make myself completely go apeshit, I’ll take an indefinite hiatus from reviewing.

I know there are some WADs that were spoiler tagged by Dean of Doom, a new official add-on to the Unity port, and then there is My House.WAD that’s getting insanely popular. Need to try all of this before coming back.

I’ll see you all... in June in the best-case scenario.

Bye.

[jimstares]

I posted 6,555 times in 2022

That's 1,769 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (1%)

6,498 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jeffrothehomo

@should-be-sleeping

@surfgirl66

@wilwheaton

@allhailthe70shousewife

I tagged 4,199 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#surf - 436 posts

#surfing - 434 posts

#longboards - 372 posts

#sensible chuckle monthly - 372 posts

#movie geek - 308 posts

#food porn - 263 posts

#get in my belly! - 256 posts

#mentally i'm 13 - 248 posts

#i laughed - 247 posts

#i can find no fault in this logic - 171 posts

Longest Tag: 81 characters

#i wish our government was half as competent as conspiracy theorist think they are

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

1 - A 2002 Olympic Curling official in their natural habitat. Curling is very much a self-regulated sport, and with one exception (more below if interested) officials are there to answer questions that can’t be answered by the teams themselves, to record the score as reported by the teams, and to call for a measurement (which is done by the head official). In all of my games (~20 I think) I don’t believe I was asked more than a couple of times to weigh in on issues other then calling for a measurement.

All of the curlers treated us great, introducing themselves and thanking us, but like officials in all sports, we were at our very best when no one know we were there. The computer is for entering scores, and keeping track of time used by the team (in the old days there was a 75 minutes / team running clock, that rule has changed significantly (for the better)). In the notebook was a roster, including alternates and coach, along with a magnetic board that I used to keep track of where the rocks were on the sheet. Now days they have a cool overhead snapshots. The mic was used to confer with my counter-part at the other end of the sheet, as well as to call the head official if needed.

The 2nd pic was the venue announcing team.

The exception - In curling there is a line called the Hog Line (link also contains an explanation as to why it’s called that), the shooter currently throwing the stone must release the stone before the front edge of the stone hits that line. If they do not, they are said to have “hogged the stone” and the offending stone is immediately removed from play. The longer you hold the stone, the more control you have, so teams will do there best to release it as late as possible. In the old days, an official sat at the hog line to watch for violations (that lone chair you see in the second picture is where that official sat). A few years ago the sport’s ruling body, the World Curling Federation, went to electronic sensors. As soon as the shooter removed their hand the light went green and as long as it was green by the time the rock hit the line it was good. This is a vast improvement, until it isn’t. In Beijing the technology broke and so they’ve turned it off and the curlers are back to the honor system. It probably won’t be a problem, particularly because most high-level tourneys use the electronic system so most players are conditioned to let go before the line, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see a few players get close.

15 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

#4

A preview of today’s photo shoot. I’ve always been struck by the phase “she’s as beautiful as the day we met”. She’s not. She’s way more beautiful than the day we married. All of the good (and bad) are written on her amazing face, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Thanks to the Lovely & Talented @kjuw89 here’s to another 30 (32 actually) years (at Coronado, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CkCmG6wLtPf/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

18 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#3

Things that make sense once you know, but you don’t know till you experience it - The TV crew needs to practice as well. Which is how I and a few other officials (most of us curled competitively, just not well enough to make the 2002 Olympics) got asked to go in a day early and play a few ends (think baseball innings) so they could check lighting, camera shots, etc.

I usually played lead so I had no idea why I got asked to be a skip... Okay, if I’m honest I might know why they asked me. The 2002 US Men’s Curling team was skipped by a gentleman a dude named Tim Somerville, who while being a good curler was known to work in profanity the way some artist work in color. I was specifically asked to drop profanities frequently while I was curling so that the sound guys could practice bleeping them out.

We got to curl about 3 ends on Olympic ice (which was pretty awesome) and then, because I was the “skip” I was asked to go to the interview area and speak with my “close personal friend” Elfi Schlegel. All kidding aside, she couldn’t have been nicer and more lovely, even posing for this photo. I was asked to extend my cursing into this segment and I made her laugh out loud as a result. It was a fun day.

20 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#2

It’s hard for me to process that it’s been 20 years since the Salt Lake City Winter Olympic Games! Being an official for Curling events (just Men’s and Women’s in those days) at the Games was a highlight of both my personal and athletic life. Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be posting some pictures from my time in SLC.

First up is my room (why yes I was in the military) and the view out my window. They put us up in dorms at Weber State University in Ogden UT (north of SLC) and right next to the Curling venue. It was supposed to be two to a room, but my roommate never showed so it was just me.

Oh, and if you have any curling questions, let me know.

22 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

She is not the brightest of stars in the nighttime sky, but we love her to pieces

32 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

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