#Mockaward

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2009): Killing Adventure

Br1: Killing Adventure

Main author(s): Ruba

Release date: September 5th, 2009 (database upload)

Version(s) played: ???

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 32 (30 + 2 standard)

Killing Adventure… confuses me. At first glance, it looks like a typical 1994 slop made by a twat who has more farts in his head than brain matter. But something tells me there is more to it than it shows. It might actually be self-aware Troll WAD made to piss people off.

Is it true though? From what I’ve heard about its author, he was definitely a troll in the community. But I must play this WAD to be entirely sure about it, so let’s get into it.

Starting with me, feeling like WADs from the mid-90s’ looked better than Killing Adventure. I do realize that the maps were done like this on purpose, but it doesn’t change the fact that they look overly basic, stale, dull, and other synonyms of the word boring.

I liked the music, though. At least half of it feels relaxing to listen to (MAP11 might have the best track), although, there are also tracks that are more blood-pumping.

I hope you like patience because this WAD will test it. Although the maps are simple and I don’t think you will get lost playing them, almost all of the maps seem to feature one, rather small square/rectangle/whatever-shaped area that constantly repeats itself and has the same roster of enemies in (probably) almost every single one of them. You might feel like you are running in circles.

Thankfully, there are maps that create shortcuts after reaching a key or some other important place. That’s always nice in a WAD.

Some of the maps tend to be more interesting than others. Jail for instance will kill all enemies in cages when you reach the end of it, so, if you want to, you can spice it up by ignoring everything on your path (except barrels of course) and just run to the exit.

Hundred Demon Fortress (I’m slightly changing titles to be written correctly) is basically a pun to the fact, that you fight one hundred Pinkies in the area next to the start.

Death Row Ultima, meanwhile, makes you choose the correct switch to open the door with Romero’s head, otherwise, it sends an Arch-vile squadron on your ass. Still a better ending for the WAD than another Icon of Shit.

There are also maps that use Keens either in the form of secret-hunting or just stagnating your progress until you kill all of them, with Column Shift Punch Halls being the biggest example of the mechanic related to them.

Also, three of the maps from this WAD use fans’ favorite – chess-moving floor filth.

vomit noises

sigh

I don’t think it’s worth talking about how funny this WAD is since it’s yet another case of LUL SOS RANDUMP crap that most of the Mockaward winners at this point did.

I’m gonna say it now, but Killing Adventure feels like Mock 2 lite. I only watched MtPain’s April Fools’ review on the latter, but I felt like the WAD was making fun of many elements that appeared in the Doom maps back then (hell, even now), focusing on one thing per map. This WAD, as I said earlier, most of the time is the same thing with one, small area repeating itself ad nauseam. Its joke, at best, became stale after MAP11. And I’m surprised that I managed to properly play these maps twice without falling asleep.

Most of the time, the WAD was rather easy, but there were moments when it got hard (not for a good reason of course). Arch-viles on Grey and Easy smell of lots of bullshit (I got lucky on my second try), and Pyramidal Hell might look like hell, but if you know how to get to the exit, you can just grab an invun and run there (secret exit is behind the regular one).

And, uhm… I think that’s it. Killing Adventure tries to be funny, yet now that I think about it, it fails to deliver on that. It fails as regular WAD, a joke WAD, and it’s basically a worse version of Mock 2 on every level. You might get a chuckle out of it when you play it the first time, but after that, there is nothing to laugh at.

Let’s hope that’s the last poor-quality WAD from 2009. Luckily, the next Doom map on the list promises something better.

Don’t read my next review if you are afraid of clowns.

[terminusest13]

In E2M9, we talk about our schedule, the holiday season, the new members of the Anime Girl Appreciation Club, the pillars of the Doom community, drinks to share, the problems of too much choice, addressing the rumors that I only awarded Lilith.pk3 out of spite (spoiler alert: I didn't and you're an idiot), what makes GZDoom mapsets so cool, the difference in perspective between 2D gameplay and 3D gameplay, releases from nowhere, the passing of the Mockaward, gameplay mods for hipsters, gameplay mods with DRM, and what to look forward to 2018.

Music is from Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer

Cohosts: @kinsie, @combine-kegan, @the-goddamn-doomguy Thumbnail image by Kinsie

Download (without music) Download (with music)

[actdistract]

198 Methods of Nonviolent Action, 14. Mock Awards. Sometimes fake awards carry more relevance. #198mna #alberteinsteininstitute #mockawards #democracy #illustration #drawingoftheday #drawing #doodle #sketch #sketchaday #illo

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Konga Songa

You know what? It’s time to appease Slaanesh.

Time to review something seedy.

...

Kind of...

Sort of...

Not really.

G5: Kama Sutra (Hurr Durr)

Main author(s): Adolf Vojta (Gusta) and Jakub Razák (Method)

Release date: March 9th, 2005 (database upload)

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: Vanilla

Levels: 32 (standard 30 + 2)

Okay, let’s get this out of the way first. Kama Sutra is not some Rule 34 WAD that will make twelve-year-olds giggle like Japanese schoolgirls every second map (that honor goes to HDoom). It’s actually a spiritual successor to Hell Revealed... which means you might spend days trying to finish it after taking a couple of breaks if you are not some Doom-speedrunning masochists that the authors of this WAD are.

It is also one of the first WADs that not only earned one of the main awards but also one of the bonus ones. In this WAD’s case, it was Mockaward for the funniest WAD of the year.

Did it deserve the reward, though? Like any of these two? Well, let’s find out.

For a vanilla-compatible WAD, Karma Suta looks great. While there are some duds that are basically Hell Revealed-like maps but different, there are maps that might make you drop a jaw on the floor. And just like Suspended in Dusk, some of the better-looking maps have amazing details; not as close to the stuff from the previous WAD but having more soul than there due to the bigger variety of biomes.

The music wasn’t annoying to listen to. In fact, some of the tracks were absolute bangers. This soundtrack includes stuff like a scuffed version of Smooth Criminal, a shit ton of music tracks from Duke Nukem 3D and Rise of the Triad, and even a MIDIfied version of Stairway to Heaven (which is the best track; and it comes from someone who either didn’t listen to the original version or can’t remember when he did that).

When it comes to understanding how the levels play, Karmic Suit isn’t hard. Sure, some of the levels are kind of mangled, and backtracking in some of these is really obnoxious but I don’t think there was anything particularly awful.

Oh, and also, most of the time, you end up levels by going through the same-looking teleporter.

Most of the levels tend to have something that makes them stand out from the others. I’ll try to explain some of these:

The Hidden Engine has an interesting mechanic in that you don’t use the keys you got. The passage that leads to the exit opens up just by grabbing the keys themselves (since the name of the map).

Time Is Tickin' Out makes itself look like time is passing by with each grabbed key; it even gets darker with the last key. It’s like the time was passing differently in the dimension (probably) you grab the keys.

Execution starts out with you on an electric chair, referencing Death Row from Duke Nukem 3D.

Miss Sporty is kind of hilarious since you are basically wrecking demons’ arses on a sports stadium. The concept of Doomguy ruining demons’ day when they all want to have fun kind of makes me chuckle.

Cyber Machine starts out with you trying to run to the nearby teleporter and you have to slowly get there with platforms that slowly go down (you will end up soft-locked if you aren’t fast enough) while defending yourself from Cacos. A funny moment that I wish the middle part of this map was (I’ll get to that later).

The Train Is Approaching is a homage to Alien Vendetta’s Clandestine Complex, down to the similar style and music track used in both maps. It is also a complete migraine maker since even if you know where to go, you will still end up going through the long, mangled paths, even when the next objective is right next to you.

Traps, if you didn’t get it from the title already, has shitty traps that are basically a fuck you kind. Sure these traps are just barrels and not some firing squad of Hoovies but it was still filth to experience. Also, there is another fun moment when you lower the blue key from the hanging cage.

Cow Face, asides from accidentally looking similar to the cow’s head, gives me Plutonia’s Hunted vibes. Not really with Arch-viles in the labyrinth but with the yellow and red keys having their respectful switches on the other side where there are supposed to be.

Stairway to Heaven is like a min-golf course; with almost each section dedicated to one of the weapons of your arsenal. it is also my favorite map of Konga Silly.

And speaking of silly, we have reached a moment that gave Kombat Slaughter Mockaward: MAP30 - <|> AKA Pica as I like to call it.

What’s up with this map, you may ask? Well, you have to choose between kids and adults routes. Choosing adults will send you to the arena... with a naked woman spreading her legs and flashing you with her pussy...

You facepalm. You are filled with cringe.

...that functions as Icon of Sin... and you have to shove rockets up her glory hole... while being bombarded by up to eight siege cows...

...

...

...

You have now officially lost a plot.

You bash your head on your desk.

Okay, look, I get it! Czech people have a different sense of humor, and it was made in 2005, the time that such a thing was much more acceptable and probably hilarious... but seriously?! That’s the reason why this WAD was rewarded as the funniest WAD of the year?! Another shitty Icon of Sin boss with Cyberdemon-made firing squadron that just so happens that looks like Vagineer’s face and has a Cancan dance music... THAT COMES FROM ONE OF THE LEMMINGS GAMES?!?!

You bash your head on your desk several additional times.

You know... I could... I could partially understand Khrono Sumo getting Mockaward due to more levels having funny concepts than just MAP30, like Miss Sporty or Stairway to Heaven to some degree. But the fact that I didn’t see anything funny mentioned asides from Pica in Cacowards 2005, makes me question the Doom community’s sense of humor back in that year, along with how low it was. It’s ridiculous.

And by the way, you wanna know what the kids route is? You simply wait for an exit to lower while dodging up to eight Cyberdemons attacking you. It still reeks of bullshit but I would rather play this than suffer through another Icon of Sin ending.

And no, I ain’t gonna show you the adult route, because 1. I have no pictures of it, 2. Even if I had pictures of it, Tumblr would probably shadowban me for posting it, and 3. I’m not playing this route because I’m not into completely naked bodies, real-file, or fiction. Look at this map somewhere else.

At this point, you should realize that Kurkuma Salad is really hard. I can’t explain exactly the difficulty of this MegaWAD, so I’d like to kind of repeat myself from the beginning of this review: if you are a masochist that beats WADs like that for breakfast every day (and is probably to speedrunning too) then you will be in a viscera-filled heaven. But if you are closer to someone like me who’s not exactly into a few hundred monsters on the screen/area, you will probably finish this WAD once, and not touch it for a very long time, if at all.

Let’s come back for a moment to Cyber Machine. I briefly mention its middle part not being good, and that’s because you are forced to fight in a tight area with four cows while their alcoves open up and close down one at a time; not to mention pressing switches in these alcoves after dealing with them (in a specific order I might add). Playing this map normally is a chore. Playing it while also Pistol-starting is a nightmare since you have to deal with Cyberdemons with nothing but the Super-Shotgun. You might as well jump on a teleporter in the middle of that area (if your source port allows that).

At least I can say that the last area is somewhat fun if you don’t play it on UV.

Then there is Hard Target. A shit-ton of enemies for the sake of a map with a shit-ton of enemies, around half of the map having damaging floors, pop-up Cyberdemons. being surrounded by three of these at the starting area where they will keep bombarding you unless you know where the telefragging teleporters are (at least two of these, third Cyberdemon will die in the mosh pit of demons behind him), the flood of tomatoes and meatballs after dealing with one of the switches that lead to the exit or something like that; these are just a few things that I remember about this hellhole. And the fact that this map ends up sandwiched between Stairway to Heaven and I’m just a DOOM Addict (which is a pretty cool map) doesn’t help.

My advice to you asides from not playing on UV on your first playthrough: Ignore stuff in the center and focus on switch areas.

Asides from a few graphical glitches that I encountered, and some of the music tracks being slowed down (for unknown reasons) and/or not looping properly, there weren’t any bugs around this WAD. There is still stuff written in Doomworld and in the text file though.

Also, even though this WAD is vanilla-compatible, it’s still better to use a limit-removing source port since most of these maps are too big/have too much stuff in them to be saved. Here’s Adolf Vojta’s answer to that problem:

Who use savegames nowadays anyway?

Not you apparently, at least in 2005 when you were a speedrunner, therefore a masochist (probably).

Hindu Book of Monkey Fun is a better Hell Revealed sequel than HRII. At least it looks better than that WAD, and it gave me more fun and had more maps that were more than just shove as many enemies as possible mentality.

Unfortunately, after playing this MegaWAD twice, I think I’m’ experiencing burnout at this point. Not to even mention the personal stuff I have to deal with. So to not make myself completely go apeshit, I’ll take an indefinite hiatus from reviewing.

I know there are some WADs that were spoiler tagged by Dean of Doom, a new official add-on to the Unity port, and then there is My House.WAD that’s getting insanely popular. Need to try all of this before coming back.

I’ll see you all... in June in the best-case scenario.

Bye.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2008): Community is Falling 3

If you are a casual Doom WAD enjoyer, you have probably heard of Samuel Villarreal AKA Kaiser; a man who (with the help of others) created an unofficial PC port of Doom 64 that had additional content known as Doom 64: Absolution. Later in 2008, he did it again, but more streamlined, without the additional stuff the Absolution had.

But we won’t be talking about that port. Today, I have something else to offer.

Br2: Community is Falling 3

Main author(s): Samuel Villarreal (Kaiser)

Release date: March 10th, 2008

Version(s) played: ???

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 36

In yet another case of a sequel that I played before the original WAD, we have Community is Falling 3; (probably) another case where you will laugh only if you were an avid user of Doomworld when the events that were used as a foundation of this WAD’s plot happened.

Being complete in over 2.5 years, this WAD made Kaiser never touch ZDoom again. This bad boy squeezes a shit ton of features from the source port it relies on, but, and I’m going to say it now, compared to filth like 007 WAD, it feels rather quaint; less obnoxious if you could say.

Its plot was based on events from 2006, when an unfinished version of Knee-Deep in ZDoom was leaked to the Internet; now dramatized and made more ridiculous than ever.

But... do I consider this MegaWAD funny? Well... why won’t we jump ahead, and surf on some Doom forums.

Quick announcement before that: This will be another unorthodox review from what I usually cook; it is based only on my unfinished, blind playthrough because there are still 12 other 2008 WADs to try (and AC: Valhalla in between these) and I don’t want to waste that much time on such a complicated beast of this WAD. So apologies if I forget about something related to the WAD and for the lack of screenshots.

For a shitpost WAD, CiF 3 looks rather good. Despite being almost nothing but techbases from what I’ve seen, they felt rather distinguishable. The biggest examples are usually the maps that take place in Newdoom and ZDoom forums respectively, with the former ones looking more simple while the latter being overloaded with details.

The music was fine but annoying. Many tracks are the rock ones that sound obnoxious to me; not to mention how LOUD they are. They might fit into the jokey nature of this WAD, but they tend to overestimate their welcome.

Would I call this WAD complicated? Not really. You basically go to one place to talk to someone, then to another place to talk to someone else when you are not fighting.

Sometimes you are in some hub-looking map, where you can buy weapons, inventory items (yes there is an inventory mechanics created by Kaiser before it was properly implemented to ZDoom), ammo, health, and armor.

The items you can use vary from typical armor/health stuff and grenades to the beacon that will allow you to summon friendly marines to help you.

Unfortunately, the farther I went to this WAD, the more obnoxious it has become. Even naming our protagonist at the very beginning was annoying due to the mechanics related to it. Dialogues were sometimes too long without any way to skip all of them at once, there was a time-based mission (oh, my favorite -_-), some of the other missions were annoying as well.

But nothing compares to the mission where you are defending some core and you have to destroy 9 beacons to stop the enemies from constantly summoning. They kept coming no matter how many marines I deployed and some of the beacons were in such obscure places that I had to cheat to actually find them (hey, it was either that, or using the jetpack); and I can’t do both of these things at the same time.

And speaking of jetpack, this is some next-level jank people. Despite knowing how to operate this junk, it feels sluggish and is hard to control.

And yet, despite all of the bullshit, and the boss that disappeared to the ground (probably), I was stubborn enough to get past this mission... and right in the next one the lemming I was supposed to escort ended up stuck in the rock after teleporting and couldn’t get out of it. That was the moment where I said Fuck it, and just stopped. Because it was either this or knowing that it might happen again.

And now... for the moment you all have been waiting for... How funny is this WAD?

the sound of blowing wind

Fuck if I know; I didn’t laugh even once while playing it. The most amusing part of the plot was when the ZDoom forums’ users were portrayed as a bunch of fart-sniffers who were addicted to their godly source port’s features and linedefs. There was also a marine playing Picard YTPMV, and the pink marine (I don’t remember his name anymore) complaining about the ZDoom addicts.

But aside from these, it’s just random nonsense sprayed with F-slurs. This feels childish even by 2008 standards. But still, it was a better effort at trying to make me laugh than the previous Mockaward winners (aside from How Not to be Seen).

The feelings I have towards the difficulty of this WAD are the same as its gameplay – it gets more and more annoying as I play. Props to Kaiser for giving the enemies an intelligence bump when they actually start dodging my attacks but it crosses the line with some of these (like hitscanners for instance).

Not to mention many types of new enemies, including humans drawn in Paint (both melee and projectile ones), bipedal assholes (hurr durr), tiny, annoying drones, and super-fast carts. There are even bosses.

Of course, you get new weapons as well, like a meat cleaver that you can throw at enemies and a machine gun that looks like a party tube.

Aside from at least one bug that I mentioned earlier, I don’t think I encountered more of these. Maybe the glitched-out suits of some marines if that wasn’t intentional.

Community is Falling 3 feels like a WAD of its time; the plot being related to stuff that won’t really be enjoyed by someone who wasn’t a part of it, mostly juvenile humor, mostly annoying music, ridiculous gimmicks and missions, and so on. It might be a technical marvel by 2008 standards, and I played worse, but still, I wouldn’t recommend this WAD.

Since all the WADs from the Bronze League are now reviewed, there is nothing else to do but promote them to the Revenant Awards, with this one going to the Off the Wall category and Diaz going to the completely new category (that I still don’t have a name for) dedicated to the gameplay mods.

Tune in next time, people, as we will be checking out the first of the Eternal’s WADs from the 2008 roster.

Bye!

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2007): It Only Gets Worse

Br1: It Only Gets Worse

Main author(s): Wills

Release date: July 6th, 2007

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 19 (14 regular ones, 3 secret ones, a cutscene one, and a hub one according to the textfile)

Once again, we welcome Wills, who, once again, won the Mockaward for the funniest WAD of the year. Winning two of these in a row makes him deserve some respect, not gonna lie.

This time, instead of adapting one of the Monty Python’s sketches, we are going to have something completely different. Something much more nonsensical – It Only Gets Worse. In-making for almost half of the year since January. And with the plot about you ending up as a scavenger for a dude that you own money.

Let’s see how far the rabbit hole in this WAD goes.

Starting with how this WAD looks – basic and zany at the same time. While it does sometimes look like the WAD from the mid-1990s, it does come up with the style of the location. Once you end up somewhere that feels like you are under lava, and after that, you are standing next to the U with umlaut.

The same can be said about the music. Almost all of the time it’s something that surprisingly fits to what’s happening on the map. We got speed-up versions of the original tracks, MIDI covers from other games/media, and some original stuff among others.

This WAD plays like nonsense (as it should be). You never know what will happen next; what the next map has to offer.

Now, I won’t be talking about what happens in every map like in TurboCharged ARCADE, because we will be here forever. Instead, I will take a slightly closer look at four regular maps and one secret map (three of which you can access from the hub map).

So, for instance, we have:

the map where you seek out a treasure while checking the toilets,

the map where you look for the crack pills in Mancubus’ apartment,

the map where you are suddenly small,

and the map where you end up shopping.

As for the secret maps, one of them takes place in a bowl of soup that will kill you as soon as you step your toe there while getting bombarded by Cyberdemons.

As for the other stuff in this WAD, you can... sigh... I can't believe that I’m saying it...You can find an Impse Easter egg on almost every map. Look people, if you want to look for these, prepare four gallons of bleach just for sure.

Also, if you have epilepsy, skip Technoseizure Mountain. It’s what you can expect from a map called like that.

Usually when you reach the hub map, after playing the secret maps you can go back and start the WAD all over from there by entering the exit dedicated to it. But if you manage to find a secret switch in Final Battle of Awesomeness (it’s near the Megasphere before taking the portal) you will unlock the real ending.

And now for the most important question in this review – how funny is It Only Gets Worse?

Uhm... I don’t know. I mean, I think it’s funnier than TurboCharged ARCADE, but at the same time, I don’t think I laughed even once while playing this WAD. Maybe it’s due to me not being interested/sharing no nostalgia towards the Internet culture before 2008/2009 since this is when my family got access to the Internet. The closest map concept that feels like it’s the funniest is Wormhole Laxatives. At least there is something positive to say there.

It Only Gets Worse is easier than TurboCharged ARCADE. Is it hard? Maybe? Is it fair? Most of the time, I guess, despite being a joke WAD.

And since this WAD is zany, we also need some new, zany enemies.

Like bigger versions of Zombieman, Imp, and Caco that have twice as much health as their regular versions. Or floating heads made in MS Paint that are tougher variants of Cacos (bigger heads) and Lost Souls (smaller heads). Or Baron of Hell called Bob Nimwich, who comes in two flavors; the regular one and the shadow monster one, and you can only hit the latter variant with hitscan weapons. There is also Sjasface... I guess it’s the floating Burger King’s head that you encounter in The King's Woods.

I ain’t gonna talk about bugs in the case of this WAD since I think that any bug you will encounter was probably placed there on purpose.

And... that’s it for It Only Gets Worse. More ambitious than Wills’ previous Mockaward winner; probably better than that. But if it is funnier than How Not to be Seen or not, I think I’ll leave that decision for you.

And since this is the only WAD from the bronze league, it won’t be surprising that it gets promoted to the Platinum Revenant section of the Revenant Awards.

As for me, time to take a day-long break from the WADs. Good thing it’s Saturday tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll finish the last magazine I have to read (for now).

See you all next time.

Bye!

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2006): TurboCharged ARCADE!

Let’s finish the Bronze League of 2006 with another Mockaward winner, shall we?

Br2 Br3: TurboCharged ARCADE!

Main author(s): Xaser Acheron

Release date: November 18th, 2006 (database upload)

Version played:

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 8

As I said in my previous review, there is a second Mockaward winner from 2006. And unlike How Not To Be Seen, this is actually a proper Doom WAD... sort of.

TurboCharged ARCADE is a collection of eight experimental maps, each testing different aspects of using ZDoom features. All spiced up with some vulgar humor, fitting its times.

Now, Xaser was a guy who helped with mapping for the first ZDoom Community Map Project take along with some scripting in its second version, so why won’t take a look at what he created when he was brainstorming, huh?

Let’s start with obvious first - none of the maps look really good. Most of these look really basic, outdated even by 2006. I can, however, somewhat forgive that since these maps are (as I said earlier) experimental, so their look wasn’t a priority.

The music was fine to listen to. Nothing ear-grating.

Also most of the time, this collection is unfairly cheap. You would think that firing twice as fast and carrying 1.5 times more ammo will make it easier but here’s the problem – you are not the only one on coke! The demons are on coke too; being twice as fast along with their projectiles being twice as fast too. The only way to actually play these maps without ripping your hair out is either with God mode enabled or on the easiest difficulty setting AKA I'm too young to die. Never though such a day will come, when I’ll be forced to play on the easiest difficulty level in Doom.

Now, you might be asking: Why I didn’t talk about how you play these levels? Hell, why didn’t I show anything at all? Simple - it’s because each of these maps is so unique (even if janky) that it’s worth more to talk about these individually.

I’ll start with the fact that you can play all of these maps in any order from the menu (still Pistol-starting though). Not to mention how each one of these ends with you dying and receiving a funny intermission screen at the end.

As for the maps themselves, here is what you need to know about them:

At Home - You are in your very tiny house and your task is to exit it while walking very slowly.

Go To Hell! – You end up in Hell and you have to kill monsters in tight areas to reach a teleporter at the end.

Prison R[[SOAP DROPPING]]! – You are surrounded by devilish goats behind prison bars in a tight corridor and you have to press two switches before squashing them into the red paste.

You are Pablo Picasso – You have to paint a human by stepping on a canvas. To make it harder, there are invisible walls that force you to take a very linear path while Imps are bombarding you. Probably my favorite map of this WAD.

Here is a tip: it’s easier to do this with strafing instead of turning.

Battleshit – You are playing Battleship with a Cyberdemon (which has only one tile). After winning, you fight him with the Plasma Gun.

Go Eat Shit, Sherlock! – After killing Sherlock Holmes, you are forced to finish his latest murder case; filled with unskippable cutscenes that don’t allow you to move (at least they are somewhat funny and don’t feel like they drag out). Also at the end, you must kill 38 demons.

The Matrix Has You – You basically blow the shit up in a bastardized version of Matrix. There are two sections where you are forced to play in bullet-time and at the end you fight the Agent (which might be easier than the rest of the map). Also, there is a secret with a Super Shotgun that you can’t carry after fighting in the office building.

I'm H[[YOUTUBE]] – You are fighting Mr. Adolf [[HEMMORROIDS]] himself, now in a form of a cube. This map is also the worst one when it comes to bullshit moments; especially at the final area, where the boss heals himself at a ridiculous speed, to the point where he can end up softlocked with healing so fast that nothing stops him when he is dying.

While I still think that How Not To Be Seen is still funnier due to me having more of a blast from Monty Python rather than randomness out of the mid-2000s this collection offers, I think it was still funnier than the previous Mockaward winners.

And that’s basically all I have to say about TurboCharged ARCADE. I wouldn’t call this set of maps good, but at least it was interesting to see what could be done with ZDoom by 2006.

And since I’m done with all of the bronze WADs, it would finally be time to choose which WAD should be promoted to the Revenant Awards without all WADs winning by default.

See you next time.

Bye.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2004): Doomworld Forums 3

Mockaward was the award given to the WAD that was the funniest WAD of the year. It was named after Mockery, the 1998 map/unfinished WAD that made fun of beginners’ mistakes in map-making. This award lasted up to 2016, and in Cacowards 2017 it was replaced with the Machaward for the Most creative, unusual, or artistically compelling project of the year (as said by Doomworld).

Today, we will be taking a look at the first WAD that earned this award.

Br2: Doomworld Forums 3

Main author(s): Anonymous (supposedly Linguica)

Release date: January 13th, 2004 (Database upload)

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 1.5/2 (intro and the main level)

Doomworld Forums 3 is the final installment of the Joke WAD trilogy related to Doomworld itself. Its purpose (along with the two previous installments) was to be a parody of the community on their forums. It’s also a reenactment of what happened on the Newdoom forums.

Before playing DWF3, the closest thing to these WADs that I encountered was the cameo in MassMouth 2 when I was playing it.

Now, while the author of all three WADs is written as Anonymous, according to Linguica (April 2006), it was Cyb that made the first two installments while he created the last one (with some help from Cyb) (==>).

Did this WAD tickle my funny bone? Well, let’s find out.

The plot – You are an admin of DW forums and you rule it with an iron fist. Its moderators don’t like you so they dethrone you, thinking that they also killed you. You survived. Now you must take the DW forums back, and destroy Newdoom once and for all.

DWF3 looks rather simple most of the time. The first third of the main map looks really good. These cylinder-looking things in the background that supposedly represent forum sections look incredible. I really like how when you come back to the DW forums, everything around you disappears to reveal the actual content behind it. After this section, it all becomes something that feels like the baby’s first WAD. But I feel like it was intentional since the main goal of DWF3 wasn’t looking amazing. I’ll say though, that I kind of like how the Newdoom forums look. My bias towards ancient-looking stuff was popping out at that moment.

Music changing itself while playing is a plus. Although I really hate how some of the explosions were too loud. It pisses me off.

Now I’ll try to describe every section of the WAD since each one offers something different.

This WAD is made out of two levels. Although I think it’s more like one and a half of a level though since the first map isn’t even a map. It’s an intro cutscene. This cutscene is basically a walking parody of Max Payne's cutscenes, shown like it was a comic book in an overdramatized style (when it comes to Doom). And if you actually want to immediately get into some action, don’t worry. You can skip the intro by pressing the use key.

You actually start out at the gates of DW forums where you take them back from some of the mods that beat you up.

After obtaining the password to Wmull’s account (which is actually blue skull), you end up somewhere that might as well be the moderators’ headquarters. There, you must convince at least one of them to help bring Newdoom down. Be warned though: there is a dialogue with a slur that rhymes with baguette (look, it was 2004, okay?! Internet was a bigger Wild West back then).

After finally acquiring some help (AKA one dude), you finally arrive at Newdoom forums. Here you must lead your brain-dead meat shield to each section to draw the users’ attention to him. You can attack them yourself if you feel impatient. After doing that you will fight the final boss of the WAD (I’ll get to that later).

Since this WAD earned Mockaward, it would be good to talk further about how much it was funny to me, right? And the answer is... It really wasn’t.

You see the problem with DWF3 is that it was made for people who were part of the titular forums during that time or even before. And since I was just an eight years old brat back then who didn’t even have an Internet connection in his house, I felt next to nothing.

Three things that were closest to being funny were:

1. The intro cutscene for acting like it was straight out of the Max Payne game (as I said before).

2. One of the Revenants in DW Forums being a caricature of Jacob Kruse, the main man behind RTC-3057 (which’s demo I reviewed before).

and...

3. One of the moderators that I tried to recruit being yellow Cyberdemon (called Tobester) that literally combusted because he has a weak Internet connection (memories of me and my first modem are coming out).

Other than those, It wasn’t really that much. Just your typical, Internet reference humor of its time.

At least the dialogue during the cutscenes didn’t really feel painful to me. Keeping it all in the tone of Max Payne was a good idea in my opinion (at least the protagonist’s inner thoughts).

Without counting the final boss, this WAD is easy. If you have at least some experience fighting Doom enemies, you won’t have that much of a problem killing them. Even the section in Newdoom that has loads of hitscanners is easy since most of the enemies are focused on Deathzor.

As I mentioned earlier, it only gets hard when you reach the final boss of DWF3. And it’s the worst part of the WAD since it’s yet another Icon of Sin fight. But instead of shoving rockets up Wmull’s brain, you have to wait until his energy depletes (AKA a few minutes).

-_- sigh

At least you get a backup from DW forums’ members when the final boss has around 85% of his remaining energy.

This fight can be completed without cheating, but let me ask you: Is it worth it with an Icon of Son type of fight?

The final battle also has a bug, where the portal to DW forums is broken. It was supposed to look like this in the cutscene:

And instead, it ended up showing you the sky texture:

I’ve read somewhere that it happens if you touch grass in the area surrounding the ruins of Newdoom, the text file says that it happens after a while. In my case, it happened immediately as I got my control back (probably due to the later (G)ZDoom versions).

And that was Doomworld Forums 3. It was fun until the final boss. Was it funny? Well... The Max Payne-like dialogue definitely helped but aside from a few moments, I felt nothing. This is definitely something that I can only recommend for the Old Guard of the Doomworld forums since they probably know the events that inspired this WAD. As for other people, download something else.

And that’s basically all for the Bronze League of 2004 WADs. I’ll now take a break from reviewing for like two days. And then I’ll start taking a look at the runner-ups and the honorable mention of 2004.

I’ll see you all next time.

Bye!

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette: Revenant Awards 2005

DOOMGUY AND THE REVENGE OF THE HELLISH GOBLET OF CHOCOLATE – REVENANT AWARDS 2005 EDITION

Since 2005, I have been a waste of air and space on this God-forsaken planet (but not as much as some of the other losers you will see being laughed at on the Internet) for the entire decade. In the same year, the Doom franchise reached twelve years of existence by that point. Not to mention the second Cacowards appearing in 2005. So why won’t we take a look at the WADs that were rewarded to some degree by that award ceremony in the rip-off of mine?

SOLE SURVIVOR – BEST ONE-MAP LONG WAD OF THE YEAR

Choosing the winner for this award was kind of tough; not only due to it having five contestants, but all of these maps having at least one incredible thing (for the 2005 standards) to offer. On the other hand, most of these maps have annoying shit in them. Jägermörder 2 looks and plays incredibly well in spite of six years of hell development, but the beginning part of this map is such hitscanner-filled bullshit that it has a chance to make you not want to play the rest of it. HeDRoX is really good on its own, but it kind of fades in when placed next to the rest of the one-map WADs of 2005. And Temple of Chaos 2 has a gimmick that does incredibly well... over the cost of fair difficulty, unfortunately.

So now we are left with Dutch Devil’s two maps – Altar of Evil and Total Control. Both are really good, both are equal when it comes to quality, and both have similar background areas when you look at the window (without counting what surrounds the map) but if I have to choose one, I will give the award to Altar of Evil. Simply because it doesn’t have hitscanners. And also because it has custom monsters as a bonus.

PUG-OF-PINK – BEST 2-7 MAPS-LONG WAD OF THE YEAR

When it comes to the Vanilla section of this award, there isn’t really that much to offer since both For Whom the Bell Tolls and Suspended in Dusk are basically fine WADs. But at least I can say that the former WAD doesn’t have obnoxiously tight mazes or annoyingly painful to listen new sound effects. And for these reasons, For Whom the Bell Tolls gets the award in the Vanilla section. Suspended in Dusk might look like a masterpiece but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not really that fun to play.

As for the source port section, Hi-Tech Hell 2 - Alien Tech gets the award too (by default though). I could care less about the plot in this WAD along with the cutscenes, but Alien Tech is rather fun to play and looks incredible by the standards it was released.

Comparing these two winners, Alien Tech gave me more fun than For Whom.  

FULL DECK OF DIAMONDS – BEST 30-32 MAPS-LONG MEGAWAD OF THE YEAR

Karma Shawarma better be thankful for winning this award in the Vanilla section by default. Now look, I’m not saying that this MegaWAD is bad ‘cause it’s not. It looks impressive by the vanilla standards and has some really good levels in it (especially Stairway to Heaven), but it’s targeted closer to the people who eat a bunch of slaughter maps for breakfast in a row. Not to mention how the reasons behind this MegaWAD getting Mockaward still baffle me, but I already ranted about it in my review of this WAD.

And as for the source port section, the choice between Scythe 2 and Congestion 1024 couldn’t be more obvious and one-sided: Scythe 2 easily gets the award in this section. It’s just a great MegaWAD that doesn’t feel polarizing like Congestion 1024 was (although that WAD project had some strong moments too). Not to mention being a great sequel to the original Scythe WAD.

And yes, Scythe 2 gave me MUCH more fun than Korn Shoe.

OFF THE WALL – BEST PARTIAL/TOTAL CONVERSION WAD OF THE YEAR

Another case where one WAD is much superior to another. In this case, it’s Simplicity gaining the award over Happy Time Circus. Happy Time Circus might be the most unique map in this roster but unfortunately, it is just an okay map at its best, with a strong start and ending, and an utterly tiring rest of it. Simplicity is just incredible and you should check it out, like immediately.

OTHER AWARDS

There is one last WAD to reward. And that is Crimson Canyon earning the Platinum Revenant award for the best 10-19 maps long WAD/MegaWAD of the year. It doesn’t really distinguish itself from other WADs/maps but on its own, it does a good job. And also, since I forgot to mention it in my review, I like the fluent transition between the maps.

CONCLUSION

And that’s all for the 2005 edition of the Revenant Awards. Another year of WADs from the 2000s decade done. Time to take another week-long break before returning back to making WAD reviews. But not with the 2006 roster of WADs, but with Perdition's Gate (if I manage to launch it since it is a really old, archaic WAD).

I’ll see you in the future.

Bye!

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2009): Introduction

...

Half-Life can wait. I miss Doom already.

click

Ladies. Gentlemen and Others, welcome, to the Doom WADs’ Roulette, where I review the best WADs according to Doomworld’s Top 100 WADs of All Times and (now) Cacowards. Today, we are starting to check out the “Cacowards” BEEP “2009” BEEP roster. Here are the rules:

#1 We are playing on GZDoom (ver. 4.11.3).

#2 We are playing on Hurt Me Plenty.

#3 Vertical aiming is on.

#4 No infinitely tall monsters.

#5 The WAD will be downloaded from the archives unless it’s not there among other reasons.

#6 We are playing WADs shown on a current roster from top to bottom split into three leagues (top 10, runners-up and honorable mentions, and other WADs).

#7 Lighting is set on modified Classic along with modified fog effect.

#8 Deathmatch WADs and the winners of the Worst WAD award do not count.

click

Welcome to the end of the beginning... of the third millennium that is. The year is 2009; Usain Bolt sets a new world record in three running competitions, Facebook ends up with over 350 million users (it also adds a like button) among a billion people using the Internet, Michael Jackson passes away, and, unfortunately, the year 2009 is also a year where the word was introduced to the webcomic knows as Homestuck. It would later become a plague for people who read it (including me), to the point of having one of the Zodiac signs branded into their brains.

In the video games department, 2009 has many sequels that can be considered GOATs, such as Assassin’s Creed II, Modern Warfare 2, and Left 4 Dead 2.

As for the Doom franchise, id Software, the company that started it all, is purchased by Zenimax, the company that owns Bethesda. Not to mention the second Doom 3 novel being released along with Ultimate Doom on iOS.

Cacowards 2009 was once again written by Scuba Steve, along with Patrick Pineda (Metacorp) (returning from Cacowards 2008), Ryan Nematollahi (hobbs), and Sarah Mancuso (esselfortium) contributing to the ceremony. It introduced the section I’m bored, where you would have to create a map before New Year’s Eve based on the idea from the random idea generator. It also swapped Action Doom with its prequel in the Did You Know anniversary side section.

When it comes to that year’s roster, I have to say, that I won’t be ableto review at least one or two WADs. I am 100% sure, that I won’t be tackling Ghouls vs Humans, due to it being a multiplayer WAD, and I wouldn’t care more for these WADs. The other WAD I am not sure if I’ll be able to review is Tribute – a Skulltag-exclusive, singleplayer WAD. I tried to play it on Zandronum, Skulltag’s successor, but it had missing textures and broken scripts.

And Skulltag, from what I’ve seen, is kind of an ancient source port at this point (no mouselook that I am used to, not to mention being unable to use mouse in a menu, arrow keys used in movement as a default option and much less player-friendly options changing), so if I’ll come out of my comfort zone and play that WAD with clenched teeth, I’ll do it based only on my blind playthrough without any screenshots.

Now with that out of the way, let’s take a look at the first WAD on the list.

You check the roster.

-_-

Oh, great… another Mockaward winner.

Let’s hope I’ll be able to finish it, unlike the previous winner.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette: Revenant Awards 2007

300 REVENANTS AND THE WORLD ENDING PHOENIX – REVENANT AWARDS 2007 EDITION

And so, we once again reached the end of another roster of Doom WADs. And despite personal stuff making me change my breaks between each WAD to not experience burnout (and having more time to play other stuff that is not Doom-related), I would say that this roster was rather good.

Like with the 2006 roster, this ceremony will have three main events for the lack of better words; but instead of the Golden Spider award, it’s Pug-of-Pink one.

Without wasting any more time, let’s look at the first category.

SOLE SURVIVOR – BEST ONE-MAP WAD OF THE YEAR

Here, choosing the winner for the category was closer to being easy rather than hard, even though I feel like the maps here are good at best. The most disappointing map from 2007 was definitely The Dying End; the fact that it is a galore of almost every cheap, difficulty bump on a map based on the original MAP29 is already bad enough, but knowing that it was made by Christopher Lutz, who’s WADs from 2002 and 2003 I really enjoyed, hurts even more.

And as for the other two maps, Songs of the Damned and Outer Darkness, these two can be fun to play, but they don’t really stick out from the other standalone maps I’ve played before. And since one of them needs to win, I say Songs of the Damned wins the award, due to being a Doom II WAD unlike the other map (that is a Doom I WAD) and having no hitscanners on it; and for a Doom WAD/map, that’s very rare.

PUG-OF-PINK – BEST 2-7 MAPS LONG WAD OF THE YEAR

Finding a winner for this award was easier than I thought since one WAD decimated the other three. My memories of both Demons of Problematique and Genesis of Descent are rather muddy at this point but I think these WADs were rather good to play through. As for Sine Die… that was just okayish; still, I would rather play something else.

At this point, it shouldn’t be surprising that Epic wins the award for this category. It might be unpolished in some places but the fact that one of the Eternal’s earlier WADs managed to outclass the other WADs is an achievement on its own. Play this WAD. You won’t be disappointed.

OFF THE WALL – BEST PARTIAL/TOTAL CONVERSION OF THE YEAR

All of these WADs are related due to many enemies from the Monster Resource WAD being used in each of these.

Starting with Knee-Deep in ZDoom, it was a WAD (that I personally think is rather good) filled with useless and/or questionable ideas that it became a joke among the community (I guess); a WAD tarnished by the ambition of the team behind it. I could say the same thing about Ultimate Torment and Torture, with the difference of it being more of a solo project and with pretentious cutscenes.

And so we are left with the winner of this category: Cheogsh. It’s not a perfect map; the catacombs section is horrible and the cutscenes with marine ghost go on, and on, but aside from these, this map is incredible. It’s like something finally snapped in place and didn’t go overboard with ambitiousness. Play this map too; you won’t be disappointed.

OTHER AWARDS

And now for the WADs that won an award by default.

The Platinum Revenant award (10-19 maps) goes to It Only Gets Worse. I completely forget/don’t know what to think about this WAD aside from being funnier than the Mockaward winner from 2006.

The Full Deck of Diamonds award (30-32 maps) goes to Community Chest 3. But don’t have high hopes for this compilation, people. It might have better quality control than CC2 and is less of a mixed bag due to that, but it’s not as memorable as its predecessor.

And the Big Fucking WAD award (at least 33 maps) goes to Wonderful Doom. A perfect choice for someone who wants to replay Ultimate Doom but slightly different; with all of the pros and cons that the original game has.

CONCLUSION

And that’s all for the 2007 roster of Doom WADs. There are still two things related to that year, but I’ll take care of them in the near future. For now…

sigh

I have 007 WAD’s locations to take pictures of. But at least I won’t force myself to play through all of this filth.

Speaking of filth, thank you all for reading, and I’ll see you next time.

Bye!

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2007): Ultimate Torment And Torture

My brother in Christ!

Another partial conversion that uses a shit ton of enemies from the Monster Resource WAD that first appeared in 2007 due to KDiZD! All three of these partial conversions that won Cacoward in 2007 and all use this roster at least partially!

...

I don’t really have anything else to say; I just wanted to point that out.

G9: Ultimate Torment and Torture

Main author(s): Daniel Gimmer (Tormentor667)

Release date: September 11th, 2007

Version played: 1.07

Required port compatibility: GZDoom

Levels: 10

If you suddenly feel like you are playing KDiZD’s distant cousin, then you aren’t wrong, for this WAD is another project made by Tormentor667; although, this time it’s more like a one-man project rather than a community one.

Now you might be wondering What in the actual fuck is “Ultimate Torment and Torture”? To put it simply, it’s a remaster of the series of WADs under the same title (without the ultimate of course), now sprayed all over with Tormentor’s ZDoom’s features obsession, including background noises, a shit ton of new enemies, and other ZDoom stuff that may or may not be completely worthless on the long term.

Now since I didn’t play this series in any capacity, I’m gonna judge this WAD by its own merits. And if you didn’t already notice, do not expect this review to be completely positive; I’m not really a fan of Tormentor’s overly-designed WAD slop.

And although there isn’t really any plot in the text file in the WAD itself, there are text screens that describe what’s happening at the moment you are playing this map. But it all boils down to this – there is a hellish pentagram or something that summons demons and you go after it to end it all... again.

The plot, despite being rather simple (it’s a Doom WAD after all), takes itself too seriously in my opinion. It feels like it wants to sniff its own farts thinking it’s deeper than it thinks. The pretentiousness is especially high as you reach the final episode, with an unskippable monologue from the main character (who, by the way, sounds like Diet Caleb from Blood) rambling some kind of generic shonen anime hero speech filled with never give up this and da people I love that shit. This thing is funnier than most of the Mockaward winners that I played for crying out loud; for the wrong reasons, yes, but still.

But at least you can skip most of the textscreen stuff with the use key... after a small delay.

Now with the basics known, let’s take a look at another Tormentor’s projects.

You might probably know by this point, but if there is one thing that Tormentor is really good at is the visual aspect of his WADs (solo or community-made). And UTNT doesn’t disappoint in this. The oppressive foundry facilities in the second episode; snowy areas surrounding the base in the third one; the bastion with the demonic portal that acts like a bridge between episodes three and four; the mountain that you climb in the final episode; these are some of the highlights in this WAD.

It might be a little bit overboard with the details that aren’t just tiny objects lying around that are not some random debris from the wall, but it’s still amazing for the WAD from 2007.

Oh, and by the way, you can turn off some of the weather effects in most of the maps. Just remember to bind the key to it.

The music is a mixed bag for me. While half of the music tracks fit surprisingly well, the other half has a chance to make you laugh with the WAD sniffing its farts of pretentiousness again. It’s like the same problem as the plot; it gets a pass in the first half, but it gets ridiculous in the second one.

The final boss track is the worst case of unintentional laughter. No matter what you think about Revolutions, when it comes to the final battle between Neo and Agent Smith, the music fits really well. It doesn’t fit at all when you are flying around like a madman trying to destroy a satanic pentagram that protects itself with a demonic energy cylinder while dodging/trying to kill Cycloid Emperors that protect these things! IT JUST DOESN’T!

...

sigh

It does get better gameplay-wise at least.

I don’t really think this WAD is complicated. After the first playthrough, it didn’t really feel that tiring (at least for me). It does have backtracking sometimes, but honestly, I have experienced worse cases than UTNT.

What’s really cool about this WAD is that you can start from any of four episodes. If you are a Pistol-starter, you will enjoy this option (at least partially since you can start like this only at the beginning of an episode instead of in its middle).

You can also play as three different classes. I don’t know what are the differences aside from the starting weapon and the maximal amount of health since I played as only one class to not waste my time, but still, I’ll describe what I know:

The Marine starts with the Shotgun and 100 HP;

The Scout has 75HP and the Pistol (that shoots slightly faster from what I’ve seen);

And the Commando starts with 150HP and the Minigun; NOT the Chaingun mind you, but a Minigun. I’ll get to that weapon later.

There are two variants of the final level. The regular one takes place at the bottom of the mountain, where you climb it up while fighting the entire demonic army. There is also a graveyard with tombstones of people behind this WAD (like many other WADs before this one). This one is more of an epic type.

The secret variant (AKA the Director’s Cut) is hidden in the second part of the final episode. In this case, there are three areas full of monsters, where in the first two you have to kill a specific amount of Mancubi and Arachnotrons respectively (kind of like in Dead Simple) and in the third area you must press two switches to unlock the elevator to the final boss.

I’m not really sure which one is better. The hidden variant feels easier and has a lesser amount of annoying monster variants for the cost of a smaller amount of terrain to maneuver, while the regular variant feels like one last stand of the demonic army that fits perfectly well in a Doom WAD while having more bullshit moments.

UTNT is somewhere in between when it comes to how hard it is. It’s rather challenging, but I don’t think you will end up completely destroyed if you were playing WADs for a while before playing this one.

Every episode ends with the boss fight, where you fight up to four tough enemies depending on the skill level. It’s kind of a neat idea with the health pool showing up at the top of the screen, although I would like it more if the second boss fight had a larger area because I don’t think it was tested enough to be fun (or at least not as fun as the other two).

The final boss is... kind of stupid, I guess? You have to kill one of its guardians to make it vulnerable and fire at it (preferably with BFG). If you don’t realize it in a minute, you will end up with no ammo to blow it up. And again, the music doesn’t help.

Oh yeah, there is also stealth filth once in a while. -_-

I know it’s at worst one enemy per map, but still. What is it with these people keep adding this garbage to their WADs?

There are dozens of new enemies in this WAD. I’m fine with some new enemies to spice things up, but UTNT goes way too far with them. Some of these appear only once in the entire WAD! It’s like Tormentor didn’t know what to do with some of them and just slapped them in random places on the random map.

I don’t have time to ramble about every single one of them. Besides, I already talked about many of these in my previous reviews (like ZDCMP1, KDiZD, and Cheogsh among some of these). So instead, I’ll do quick rounds for every class of these bastards.

Without any further to do – the monsters of Ultimate Torment and Torture ladies, gentlemen, and others:

In the Zombie section we have Rapid-firing Trooper (Wolfenstein SS as an actual Doom enemy), Mutant Marine (tougher Shotgunner variant), Chaingun Major (Hoovy from KDiZD as a tougher variant of the original Hoovy), Bazooka Boy (from Obituary, shoots rockets), Plasma Zombie (‘nuff said), Railgunner (‘nuff said too), and Suicide Bomber (basically Headless Kamikaze as a Doom enemy; my personal favorites).

In the Imp section we have Catharsi (Cyberdemon if Imp; volley of projectiles, leaves a bomb when the die (if he didn’t gib)), Dark Imp (homing projectiles), Skulltag Imp (faster projectiles), Void Imp (Undead Warrior reskin), Soul Harvester (much more annoying homing projectiles; some of them are semi-invisible), Shadow (weaker Arachnotron, for some reason uses stock Imp noises despite having original ones in the past), Devil (tougher variant that can shoot constantly; uses Doom 64 Imp noises), Imp Warlord (has a couple of different attacks), Nightmare (can be hit when attacks and is constantly invisible before doing that), and Stone Imp (Imp if melee).

In the Hell Noble section we have Satyr (melee), Hell Warrior (has a shield), Hell Guard (no idea if he counts here but, whatever; shoots a volley of three projectiles), Hell’s Fury (tougher Baron), Lord of Heresy (tougher Baron but with wings), Belphegor (tougher Baron but with the volley of three projectiles), Afrit (flying, tougher Baron), and Bruiser (basically if the Bruise Brothers were actual bosses).

There are two new Cacodemon variants – Enhanced Cacodemon which shoots three fireballs and has slightly less health, and Cacolantern which shoots faster projectiles.

Same with Pain Elemental – we have Plasma Elemental (‘nuff said) and Tortured Soul (toxic clouds among other projectile).

There are also other enemies, which are Arachnophyte (Spider Bitch but flies), Blood Demon (tougher Pinky), Death Incarnate (hitscanning Revenant that has a small chance to not resurrect), Rail Arachnotron (‘nuff said), and Terror (Lost Soul that has a gigantic blast radius after it dies).

There are also the Source’s Guardians that I mentioned earlier. Look like Cycloid Emperors, kind of annoying to fight, and when they die, they leave their heart or something that functions as stronger medikit

We can’t forget about the bosses too. Aside from Bruiser Demons and the evil pentagram that function as bosses of episodes 2 and 4 respectively, we have Hectebi in the first episode (which are tougher Mancubi) and Giant Spiders in the third episode (Maulotaur reskins that burst out smaller, annoying to kill, regular spiders).

You collapse on the floor.

...

Phew...

Now with the demonic army described (apologies for the information errors if you notice one), let’s talk about new weapons.

Surprisingly, compared to the hegemony that are new monsters, you only get three new weapons. The first one to talk about is the Minigun that I mentioned earlier. It’s basically a much faster Chaingun but with a long break before firing again, meaning that it’s better for close encounters rather than sniping.

You have a flamethrower called... Flamer (how original). It’s your typical WAD flame thrower; don’t get burned by it yourself.

The final weapon is actually hidden in the secret in the first episode. It’s called Pyrocannon Prototype, and it feels like a napalm launcher that shoots mini-nukes. Perfect for bosses, so don’t use it (nor flamethrower) in any other circumstances.

I encountered some bugs while playing UTNT. The most prominent one was when Hell Warriors were completely invulnerable to anything until they raised the shield (something that didn’t happen in the previous WAD when these hulking cats appeared). Another bug that I encountered was in the second episode, where after exiting the secret area, the music from there was still playing; I had to enter and exit it again to properly change back to the original track.

The worst time was with some stability problems. There was one tiny moment in the first part of the fourth episode when there were some framerate drops due to the large amount of enemies and allies fighting each other, but there was a much worse one in episode two, during my secret-hunting run, when after the area with the blue key, the framerate started dropping like crazy, down to around 1.5 FPS.

Gee, maybe it wouldn’t happen if not for the gargantuan amount of shells, bullets, blood chunks, and gore chunks that appear everytime you kill at least one enemy (at least that’s how I think). I wonder if Tormentor ever thought of that situation.

The Ultimate Torment and Torture... makes me sad. I genuinely feel this WAD had the potential to be one of the best WADs ever created but the Tormentor’s obsession with (G)ZDoom features, many enemies that were slapped on this WAD without any reason for nothing but a small cameo, and the pretentiousness that pores out to the surface of the WAD’s plot makes it impossible to reach that status. It’s yet another WAD of its time that by modern standards feels outdated.

There is also another map known as the lost episode. I don’t know how to reach it without warping to it (if it’s even possible to get there normally), so I’ll leave it for the bonus round.

As for me, my break from Doom WADs might end up longer than a week, since I’m planning to buy a new PC that has SSD Hard Drive. So I’m going to move all important files to it once it arrives.

But until then, I’ll see you next time.

Have an early, happy 30th Doom anniversary.

[m39]

The bizarre case of How Not To Be Seen WAD

You know what? Making a regular review of this... map will be impossible. You wanna know why? ‘Cause How Not To Be Seen is not a Doom map at all; it’s a fucking machinima adaptation of Monty Python’s sketch under the same name.

If you don’t know what’s this sketch about, it’s about pretending to be a government public information about doing the titular thing... with people and stuff blowing up most of the time. The Doom machinima adaptation does it closely to the source material, with the iconic And now for something completely different at the end.

And not gonna lie, after not understanding almost nothing in Doomworld Forums 3, and being flabbergasted on why Kamera Sulfur earned its Mockaward, it’s incredible how there is finally something from this award category that made me burst myself laughing at least once, probably due to the source material this machinima bases itself. And that comes from someone who didn’t see the original sketch.

This machinima is yet another case of a Doom map/WAD that was released in a different year than the Cacowards. In this case, it was originally released on June 26th, 2005, and the probable reason why it was one of the two WADs that earned Mockaward in 2006 was that it was uploaded to the database on January 13th of the following year; which makes me even angrier since it makes me think that this should’ve won the previous year’s Mockaward instead of another failure of an Icon of Sin finale that bathes itself in a juvenile humor.

Now, you might just remember that I just mentioned ONE of the TWO Mockawards winners. That’s because Linguica burst out to slap another WAD to this award category due to thinking that Scuba Steve might’ve skipped it while looking for anything to count. And that WAD will be next to review.

See you all next time.

Bye!

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Introduction

Ladies. Gentlemen and Others, welcome, to the Doom WADs’ Roulette, where I review the best WADs according to Doomworld’s Top 100 WADs of All Times and (now) Cacowards. Today, we are starting to check out top WADs of 2005. Here are the rules:

#1 We are playing on GZDoom (ver.4.9.0 4.10.0).

#2 We are playing on Hurt Me Plenty.

#3 Vertical aiming is on.

#4 No infinitely tall monsters.

#5 The WAD will be downloaded from the archives unless it’s not there among other reasons.

#6 We are playing WADs shown on a Doomworld roster from top to bottom in that order.

#7 Lighting is set on Legacy.

#8 Deathmatch WADs and the winners of the Worst WAD award do not count.

Welcome to 2005, people! I’m officially a ten years old, snotty brat at this point. YouTube became a thing. Another space probe was sent (this time on Titan). And I just ran out of anything interesting from this year as for the general stuff.

From the gaming side, Resident Evil 4 changed its franchise’s formula, God of War introduced us to Kratos, Call of Duty 2 was probably when WWII shooters peaked, and I didn’t even mention Psychonauts until now.

As for Doom, the expansion for Doom 3 titled Resurrection of Evil was released, along with Doom RPG for phones, a movie based on the franchise (you know, the one with Dwayne Johnson and Karl Urban), and also there was also expansion set for the Doom Board game who gives a shit about it. 2005 was also a year when the Doomwiki kickstarted.

It was also a year when Adrian Carmack sued id Software for forcing him out of the company.

For the WADs, there were released at least three new, big source ports. PrBoom+, GZDoom (which I use, of course), and Chocolate Doom (for people who want to play Doom as purely as possible without fighting DOS).

Cacowards 2005 were again mainly hosted by Scuba Steve like the first one. Alongside the ten winners, there were also two Runners-Up but no Honorable Mention; we will have to wait a couple of years before they return. This ceremony also hosted the WAD Scramble, where you had to guess the name of the popular by that time WADs (I guessed like three of these – WOW, Fava Beans, and Mordeth) alongside kickstarting the anniversary celebration of Action Doom, and pointing out that Mordeth and Millennium weren’t finished (this section would be later extended with other WADs alongside the sequels to the popular ones).

Like with the previous year, we will begin the 2005 roster with WADs that weren’t even considered runners-up AKA the Bronze League. There are two WADs (or rather should I say maps) in this league: the Mordeth Award map, and this year’s exclusive What The Hell? award (I’m not counting the Mockaward winner because it was also one of the ten best WADs).

And we will kick things off with the latter map.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2004): Introduction

Well, folks... I’m back! Back from my break. After watching some of the stuff from Disney+ and finishing the rest of the WADs that became official add-ons for Bethesda’s Doom port at this point. But it’s time to come back for the next year of WADs.

And hey, look at the date! It’s December 10th! The freaking 29th anniversary of the first Doom game’s release!

Right on time, folks! >:]

With that said...

Ladies. Gentlemen and Others, welcome, to the Doom WADs’ Roulette, where I review the best WADs according to Doomworld’s Top 100 WADs of All Times and (now) Cacowards. Today, we are starting to check out top WADs of 2004. Here are the rules:

#1 We are playing on GZDoom (ver. 4.8.2 4.9.0).

#2 We are playing on Hurt Me Plenty.

#3 Vertical aiming is on.

#4 No infinitely tall monsters.

#5 The WAD will be downloaded from the archives unless it’s not there among other reasons.

#6 We are playing WADs shown on a Doomworld roster from top to bottom in that order.

#7 Lighting is set on Legacy.

#8 Deathmatch WADs and the winners of the Worst WAD award do not count.

Welcome to 2004. Poland is finally in UE, Bill Gates is STILL richest, Facebook appears (in times before Zuck was replaced by a robot lizard pretending to be him), another probe is sent to Mars while yet another one discovers two new moons of Saturn.

2004 was also the release year of Painkiller, Half-Life 2, Far Cry, and Rome: Total War among other games.

As for the Doom franchise, the long waited Doom 3 was finally released. It was praised by journos, but I don’t think the regular game audience felt the same due to how that game was such an oddball of the franchise.

As for the other stuff, uhm... the Board game version of Doom is released... Yeah...

What about the 2004 roster of WADs? Well, here is the funny story. After the Top 100 WADs of All Time, released for the 10th anniversary of the first Doom game, the folks behind DoomWorld wanted to do something like that again but on a somewhat smaller scale (and because they were lazy). None of their ideas would come into fruition until Stephen Browning AKA Scuba Steve came out with an idea that would later become the first-ever Cacowards. And thus the 1st edition of this ceremony was born (actually titled 11th due to the first decade of Doom WADs being technically done already).

Now, the deal with the Cacowards, is that it’s more than just 10 WADs that were considered the most memorable WADs of the year. It also has runner-ups, honorable mentions (if there are ones), WADs with the longest development cycle, WADs that make you LOL, WADs that are best for Deathmatches, best Doom mapper of the year, Did You Know... sections, and the WADs that are complete and utter garbage. And that’s just the first Cacowards.

Due to how the WAD roster has now extended to more than just 10-11 WADs (and believe me, it gets bigger in the future in some cases (Cacowards 2021 as of writing this sentence)), I’ve decided to modify my formula for reviewing rosters. So instead of typical from top to bottom like with Top 100 WADs, I will split the Cacowards rosters into three sections (or as I like to call them - Leagues), starting with the Bronze League.

The Bronze League will be dedicated to WADs that earned the additional rewards. So no top 10 golden boys, no runner-ups, and no honorary mentions. After reviewing these WADs, I will take a break from one to three days depending on how many WADs were in this league. It might get longer.

Also, as I mentioned in the rules, I won’t be reviewing the best Deathmatch maps/WADs and the WADs that were considered the worst of the year. For the former ones, I’m not a multiplayer guy. I’m not interested in this. And for the latter... I mean come on. I’m here to have fun making these reviews. Not to torture myself.

Now, starting off with Cacowards, 2004 has two WADs worth taking a look: The Mordeth Award WAD, and the Mockaward WAD. I’ll talk further about these awards when I’ll cover them the first time but for now, we will start with the former winner in five minutes.

Get ready folks.

The Cacoward season is now open!