#40-something!Penelope

[bearskvlls]

little doodle of jeff and lady penelope to wind down the night :'^) (i'll clean this up and color it eventually shhhhh)

[boldlyvoid]

Sweet Nothing

Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Summary: Penelope made a friend on the internet over covid who just so happens to live in the same town Dr. Reid just got a new job... and playing Cupid is her favourite thing in the world

Warnings: strangers to lovers, meet cute, 40-year-old virgin Spencer, Virgin reader (late 20's/early 30's), picnics, food mention, lots of Taylor Swift references, first times, Spencer is on anti-depressants, oral sex fem receiving, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, sweet sex, lots of communication

Word Count: 12.6

Making friends on the internet was never easy… it always came with its own set of unique difficulties. People lie, anyone could be secretly crazy and when actions don’t really have consequences on the web, they can get crazier. 

That being said, Y/N has recently made a wonderful friend in a woman named Penelope. 

Penelope’s Tumblr page was pretty normal, very pink and vibrant and happy, but normal nonetheless. She’s in her early 40s, an internet veteran, an ex-employee at the FBI and known for creating a brand new, very safe, social media platform for young people. She was very easy to trust, very forward and easy to open up to as well, which made the two of them bond instantly. 

And despite the age difference and the long distance, Y/N would consider Penelope to be her best friend. 

She knew everything about her from her favourite colour to her hope and dreams and favourite singer… and also the fact she was a virgin well into her adult life and dying to get out there. They’ve spent most of their friendship discussing their equally awful dating lives, would-be lovers and almost hookups. Both women have tried time and time again to find love, however, nothing ever seemed to work out… until the day Penelope got an idea. 

“I have a friend…” Penelope leads, something sinister in her eyes. “And he’s single and pretty cute, too…” 

“Do you have a crush?” Y/N lights up thinking this is a happy moment for Penelope. “Oh my god, Penny tell me all about him!!”

“Well, no, actually… I want to set you up with him,” she explains further, in a much softer tone. “He’s so soft and sweet and a few years younger than me… and still a virgin.” 

Her eyes grow impossibly wide and her jaw drops momentarily, “you’re kidding?”

“Nope.” 

“Wow,” she takes a moment to soak it all in. She sits back in her chair and lets her shoulders drop as she thinks about it. And for once, Penelope is quiet too. “How much older than me is he?” 

“He’s 41… which I know it’s a lot older than you but he’s what you’re looking for and you’d be so perfect for him. He’s so wonderful and he’s waited for so long to find someone who wouldn’t judge him and I know you’d love everything about him if I told you everything but I want you to meet him and find out for yourself… sorry, that was a lot.” 

“No, no, that’s okay,” she actually loved when Penelope went on little rants like that. “I just don’t really have the funds to fly to Virginia right now—

“That’s another reason why he’s perfect for you, he’s moving to Reno next week!!!” Penelope can’t help but shake her hands with excitement while her voice raises at least a pitch if not 3. 

“Is this the same friend who’s already from Nevada?” Her eyes light right up like a cat staring at a laser… she’s seen photos on Penelope’s personal Facebook, everything from selfies in new glasses to the parties with friends  and throwbacks from working at the FBI… “doctor what’s-his-name?” 

“Spencer, yeah oh my god? I can’t believe you remember him?” Penelope asks and she just shrugs, “See, this is why you’re perfect for Spencer, he talks a lot like I do, only about much smarter things but you’d be able to keep up.” 

“I’d love that, actually,” she swoons, feeling slightly embarrassed about how the possibility of having a boyfriend makes her so giddy. “I’d love to listen to someone talk about what they love and just sit there and look at them…” 

“Perfect, I tell you! Perfect!!” Penelope exaggerates, “he’s moving in a few days but all his things are already there. The department paid for his relocation and everything, I’m so surprised he actually decided to go this time, he’s been thinking about it forever.” 

“Ask him if he wants some help unpacking when he does get here and I’d love to give him a hand,” she agrees fully, taking a leap of faith and seeing where this could go without the fear of the unknown weighing her down. 

—

She shows up at Spencer's apartment 2 days after he arrives in Reno, a bottle of Welcome to the Neighbourhood sparkling cider and an assortment of muffins in her arms, thinking it would be quick and easy for him to take the muffins to work over the next few days, unlike a flower arrangement he didn’t need taking up space in his downsized apartment. 

She takes a deep breath before she knocks, her knuckles are barely off the door when he opens it. She barely has a moment to prepare before she’s smacked with the realization that this man is very handsome and incredibly smart… and so, so intimidating. 

“Hi,” he smiles at her. “Is that— you didn’t need to bring anything?” 

She looks down at the basket she’s holding and then back up to see those beautiful brown eyes, “I know… sorry, um, Hi, welcome to the neighbourhood,” she hands him the basket with the best smile she can muster, slightly embarrassed to be so flustered by the mere sight of him. 

“Thank you, come in,” he steps out of the doorway so she could walk in, he steps away from the door completely and sets the basket on a moving box. “Sorry, it’s a mess, the movers just put the boxes wherever they wanted, so I’ve been reorganizing where they were supposed to go,” Spencer explains, gesturing to the room around them. 

“It’s okay, that’s why I’m here,” she’s cheery as she shuts the door and starts to take her coat off. “Can I just leave this over here?” 

“Yeah, actually—“ he reaches for the closet door, “I found the box with hangers first so you could hang your coat when you got here.” 

“She said you were a genius,” Y/N teases, holding her coat up so he could slip the hanger inside and hang it on the bar. She sets her purse down inside the closet too, just for safekeeping. 

“I hope she hasn’t talked me up too much,” he’s honest with his fears. “I’m afraid I’m actually quite average, maybe tilted towards the strange side…” 

She gives him another smile, but ultimately shakes her head, “Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me anything really personal. I only really know about you from stories she’s told me about her old job, but nothing in detail… I was just starting to get to know her when you were hospitalized before the pandemic and she was by your side a bunch so she wasn’t online and I was actually worried something happened to her 'cause she’s never that quiet.” 

“Oh, yeah, that was awful,” he agrees, pressing his lips together awkwardly while he thinks about it. But then he takes a deep breath and his shoulders drop. “So I was thinking we could start in the kitchen? I’ve found most of the boxes.” 

“Yeah, lead the way,” she says, following him through the front room to the living room that was connected to the kitchen by means of an archway. “Oh wow,” she muses aloud, “this is going to be nice to decorate…” 

“You think?” He looks a mix of worried and confused, “I have no idea what to do with the place.” 

“I’m sure once we start taking out all your things we’ll figure something out,” she knows she can make a room out of anything, it's how she decorates her classroom each September. Just with sheer will and pure hope.

“I had to downsize a lot to come here, I donated most of my books so I wouldn’t cost the department a fortune moving them out, but I still have a lot,” he shares, both proud and a little embarrassed that 50% of his boxes are for books. “I don’t have many personal things or decorations… I honestly wasn’t in my last place enough to make it feel homey.” 

“You’ll be here often, though, right?” She asks, selfishly, she can already see them becoming somewhat good friends and she wants to be able to see him regularly. 

He nods, “Yeah, I’m going to be working with the sex crimes unit, 9 to 5 every day unless there’s a big case,” he explains. “Like human trafficking or a pedophile ring or something, but I doubt I’ll see an overwhelming number of those right now, it’ll be nice to downsize to just a city instead of dealing with the entirety of The United States.”

“I have 4 different groups of teenagers that I teach, which is like 120 kids alone, I can’t imagine being principal and having a thousand kids to watch out for,” she can relate it back. “I’m sure this will be less stressful for you… still awful sometimes but—

“But I’m good with stress,” he assures her. “Especially this kind of stress. You know, when I first started at the BAU I had a co worker who transferred over from sex crimes in New York, she actually had a great time cause she got to kick some creeps ass every now and then.” 

“Oh that’s cool, I guess,” she tries not to be jealous, knowing he’s probably had lots of meaningful relationships with women throughout his life, but that’s not going to stop him from getting to know her. 

She grabs a box that says mugs and lifts it to the edge of the counter island instead of dwelling on these bubbling feelings for who is essentially, a stranger. “Which cupboard did you want the mugs to go in?” 

“Uh,” he gets nervous then. “I have about 3 boxes of mugs… so wherever they fit?” 

“Sounds good,” she can’t help but smile, it was cute. “Do you like to collect them or something?” 

“Kinda,” he reaches into his pocket and takes out an exacto-knife, handing it to her so she can open the cardboard box. She pushes the knife out of its plastic sheath and starts to cut along the tape seam. 

The first mug she pulls out is a pink octopus, “oh, this is so cute?” 

“That’s Mildred,” he can’t help but smile, “I got that from Penelope on her last day at work.” 

“Oh,” she holds it to her chest in a sweet hug. “I can’t wait for her to come and visit, I just know she gives amazing hugs.” 

“Actually, she hugged me before I left and said that I was supposed to pass it along to you at some point…” he looks at her softly, slightly terrified. “Which is strange 'cause she knows I don’t like touching and we’ve never met before but for some reason, she knew I’d still want to hug you upon meeting you…” 

She can’t help but laugh, placing the mug down on the counter, “is that an invitation?” 

He nods, opening his arms and allowing her to step into his space. She wraps her arms around his middle and holds him close, feeling his large hands on her shoulder and upper back, his thumb lightly caressing the fabric of her shirt. 

She stays there in the hug for a moment and then pulls back, “I’ll be sure to tell her that you passed that along.” 

“Good,” he’s smiling like an idiot, bright red and flustered, falling head over heels for her already. 

At least, the little voice in her head thinks so. Making her smile back at him with the same giddy hopefulness that she’s longed for most of her life. 

—

He feels like the most awkward person in the whole fucking world. Hiding away in the living room to unbox something alone and give himself a moment of anxiety without having to play it cool in front of her any longer. 

She’s pretty, she’s nice, she smells like honey and happiness and new beginnings… Penelope raved about her for days when she heard he was moving to Reno and now he can see why. 

Y/N is amazing… it’s almost too good to be true.

She’s in his kitchen humming while she unpacks box after box of his dishes, moving around his new space like she was always meant to be here too. Like she’s a ghost or an extra piece of the pre-furnished listing. Like it was hers first. 

He can’t quite place what song it is that she’s humming, but it’s nice. He wanders over to the archway and leans against it, watching her in admiration as she slides some more mugs to the back of a shelf. He knows he wants to ask her out for real. Not just as friends, not just for help or convenience but because his aura is drawn to hers and the colour they could make together has never been made before. 

When she turns around to grab another mug she’s startled by his presence in the doorway, “gosh,” she gasps and places her hand on her chest to get over the initial shock. “What the heck, Spencer?” 

“Sorry, it’s just…” he licks his lips and thinks it over before saying it, “It’s so nice to have you here… it feels right.” 

“Oh,” she softens, he can see a weight lift off her shoulders and her eyes glimmer under the lights. “Thank you, thats the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me?” 

“Would you want to go on a real date, tomorrow?” He can’t help but ask. “I know Penelope was hoping for us to date and I hate that she’s always right but, I would really like to go on a date with you.” 

“Yeah, absolutely,” she makes her way around the counter and over to be closer to him. “I’d love that, what do you want to do?” 

“Um,” he really didn’t think that far ahead… “can I surprise you?” 

“Sure,” she gives him the sweetest, most hopeful smile that makes his heart swell. 

“Is there anything you don’t like? Or are allergic to? Anything I should avoid?” He can’t help but ask. The last thing he wants is to surprise her with something that makes her distance herself from him. It’s happened too many times before. 

She shakes her head, “not that I can think of?” 

“Okay,” he smiles at her, stepping into her space more. “I found my Alexa that Penelope got me years ago, did you want me to put on that song you were humming?” 

She looks like a dear in the headlights, she clearly forgot he could hear her when she was humming. “Oh, um… no? I don't think you’d like the song.” 

“It sounded nice when you were humming?” 

“It’s embarrassing…” 

“What is it?” 

She sighs and gives in, “Taylor Swift has this song that I listen to when I dream about the life I want and it’s been stuck in my head all day cause I’m in your kitchen… and the lyric is outside they’re pushing and shoving but you’re in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was Sweet Nothing…” 

“That’s not embarrassing,” his heart swells. “Penelope is a matchmaker, has she ever told you about all the couples she created at the FBI? She’s responsible for 5 marriages and by proxy about 10 babies.” 

“Wow,” Y/N’s a bit taken aback by that. “So you’re saying she’s like Cupid?” 

He nods, “Or she’s able to see fate's design a lot better than us.” 

“One hug? That’s all it took?” She teases him. 

“A few mugs?” He teases right back. 

“Hey, you can tell a lot about a person by what they hoard,” she bites back, trying not to smile too hard. 

He just shakes his head and backs up, headed back to the living room with her in tow. “Hey Alexa, what’s the Taylor Swift song that says you’re in the kitchen humming.” 

“That would be Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Midnights By Taylor Swift, released October—“ the British man's voice comes booming from the small speaker only to be cut off.

“Hey Alexa play Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift,” he orders with a smirk plastered to his face. 

“Okay, here’s Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Amazon Music.” 

Within the first few notes, he knows this is going to be their song. He extends his hand to her, silently asking her to dance even though he doesn’t really know how… and by design or some exquisite happenstance, she takes it. 

With one hand in hers, his other hand lands on her hip while her extra hand is placed ever so gently on his shoulder. Chest to chest, eye to eye, they smile and sway along to the flow of the tune. Her hand squeezes around his own slightly tighter, the tune matches exactly how she was humming in his own kitchen and then he hears the lyric she mentioned. 

They said the end is coming,

Everyone's up to something,

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings.

Outside, they're push and shoving,

You're in the kitchen humming,

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

He spins her around making her laugh as she crashes back into his chest and holds him tighter. She wraps her arm around his middle and rests her chin on his shoulder. The music is loud, but his thoughts are louder. He wants everything this song mentions but with her. Only her. And it’s been only an hour and a bit that he’s known her. He doesn’t even really know her but he craves to. 

“Do you write poems?” He asks after the song mentions them. 

She shakes her head, “no, but I know you read a lot of them… do you write them too?” 

He nods, “Sometimes… maybe I’ll make you one.” 

“I’ll probably cry,” she admits. 

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors

And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other

And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more"

To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it

She is soft-hearted. She’s sweet and kind and wonderful, too. She tilts her head to the side to rest against his own. Now cheek to cheek, he lets out a deep breath he didn’t even know he was holding. She hums along to the song, just soft enough for him to hear, not quite on key, but it’s endearing. 

They’re quiet for the rest of the song and keep swaying, knowing it’s going to end soon and they’re going to have to pull away. They don’t want to… luckily the song is on a loop. It starts right back up and so they don’t pull away. 

—

His place is still a mess when he gets ready to leave the next morning. After their dance, she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on unpacking and he knew he’d be too tempted to hold her all night long… so she went home. He helped her into her coat, he hugged her goodbye and she left, taking a piece of his heart with her. 

He’s not as used to Reno as he was with DC, but one look at the map and he was able to find the grocery store quite easily. He walks there because he opted not to bring his shitty car with him. He sold it with the promise of looking for a new one here in Nevada, but it was actually a lot nicer to walk in a sunny place like this. And on days when it’s not as nice, taxis exist for a reason. He really didn’t need a car, anymore. 

He didn’t realize how much he missed Nevada until now. 

He spent a lot of last night thinking about what he wanted to do for their date and came up with the splendid idea of a picnic. The first thing he did was call Penelope, it wasn’t too late for her back in DC, so he didn’t feel too bad, but he had to ask her some questions. He wanted everything to be perfect. She talked his ear off and then gave him an extensive list of the things she knows Y/N likes from past conversations, it turns out they’ve spent a bit of time talking about snack foods and it was finally coming in handy. 

He comes back to his newly unpacked kitchen with bags of groceries, he prepares sandwiches on croissants and cuts up cheese and puts them on toothpicks with fancy slivers of meat… and he bought some new Tupperware so the meats and cheese can be in one and the fruit he bought can be in another. He bought her favourite drinks and some cute disposable cups to put them in because he didn’t have anything other than coffee mugs, which he was sure she wouldn’t mind, but he did. 

He wanted this to be perfect for her. 

All while he was packing their picnic basket, he listened to Taylor’s music, thanks to Penelope he had a playlist of her favourites to get himself caught up on them and ended up liking most of them himself. Especially one called Maroon. The lyrics are so powerfully written and wondrously sung, it’s as if a heart-stopping novel was put to music and all told within 3 minutes and 38 seconds. Taylor Swift is a genius, that much her lover got right in sweet nothing. What a mind, indeed. 

Just a little past her apartment, there is a little park with a lovely field of flowers beside it. It’s a perfect spot for a picnic, so once he’s finished packing their picnic, he sets off on a walk to her apartment, thinking a walk to the park together would only add to the ambiance of the day. 

He makes it to her place a little before 11, like he told her he would, and spends a few seconds in the hallway to catch his breath and fix his hair before he knocks. And when he does knock, it’s 3 times and he hits the wood pretty hard with his knuckles. Inside, it’s pretty quiet and then he hears her call out, “Just a sec!!”

He waits patiently for a minute or two and then she wipes the door open while putting in an earring, “Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was.”

She’s breathtaking. She’s all dolled up and it’s all for him. He can’t believe it. 

“That’s okay,” he manages to breathe out, leaving his mouth hung open as he stares. 

She just smirks and reaches out for him, touching his chin and redirecting his jaw closed. “You don’t want to catch flies…” 

He blushes, uncontrollably, and bows his head, bashful as ever. “Sorry, you just look beautiful… I’m not used to someone getting all dolled up for me.” 

She lets out a huff of breath through her nose, settling all her nerves, her shoulders drop and she stares at him like he’s the only man in the whole world. “You’re so sweet, I almost can’t believe you’re real.” 

“That feeling is mutual,” he assures her. 

She finally looks down at his hands to see him holding a picnic basket. “Oh my god, are we going to have a picnic?” She lights right up. 

He nods, “is that okay?” 

“Okay? It’s perfect, Spencer!” She’s so excited and it’s real. She’s not playing it up or anything. She’s genuinely over the moon. “Let me just put on my shoes and grab my purse, you can wait in here.” 

“Okay,” he steps inside and closes the door behind himself as she runs off into he bedroom.  

It’s a small apartment. Her bedroom and bathroom are separate rooms, but the kitchen, living room and the washer and dryer are all exposed. She has it set up really nicely, it’s warm and inviting and happy and he could see himself making a home on her couch in the upcoming weeks of getting to know her. He couldn’t wait to learn about her favourite shows and movies and books. He wanted to hear all about her family and friends and co-workers, even her favourite students and the ones who irked her. He wanted to hear about it all. He wants to know her favourite colour and how she likes her pizza and her pasta and what her favourite baked good is. There’s an endless amount of personal things that he can learn, and he wants to know it all. He wants to love it all, too. 

When she returns, she has her shoes on, her purse over her shoulder and a blanket draped over her forearm. “I don’t want to sit on the grass, and I didn’t think you fit a blanket in there…” 

“Oh, shoot,” he looks down at the basket and realizes that was the one thing he forgot. “Yeah, we’re going to need that.” 

“Thought so,” she smirks. She walks back over to the door and grabs her keys, “anything else you need?” 

“Just you,” he replies without thinking it over. 

“Stop being so sweet,” she nudges him, staring up at him like he hung the stars, himself. 

“Or else?” He teases. It’s remarkable how easy it is with her. It just flows out of him like the script was already written between them. 

She steps even closer into his space, “you get a kiss for every compliment,” she says, standing on her tip-toes, she presses her lips to his cheek for 1, 2, 3 seconds of pure bliss. 

She drops back down to her normal height, a smirk plastered to her face, proud of the lipstick stain that’s almost as red as his blushing cheek. She reaches up to wipe it off but he pulls back, “don’t…” he’s adamant. “I want everyone to know you’re mine if you’re going out looking this beautiful beside me.” 

“Okay then.” 

—

Like a real man, Spencer insists on standing closer to the road as they walk along the sidewalk. A few moments into their walk, he transitions the basket to his right side so that his hand that’s closest to her is free and she notices it right away. She has draped the blanket over her left arm, leaving her right hand free… all but begging him to take it. But he’s shy and quiet and he doesn’t know how to just do it. 

So she does. 

She takes his hand in hers and interlocks their fingers, smiling up at him as they keep going forward, “have you ever been to this park?” 

He shakes his head, “No… is it nice? The reviews online said it’s clean and there isn’t a lot of illegal activity there.” 

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, it’s a nice park. Sometimes I hit up the bookstore down here and then I go read in the park. It’s nice in the summer when I have a week off between my regular job at the school and my summer job.” 

“Summer job?” 

She nods, “Mhm, you know, 'cause I only work at the high school when school is in session and I don’t make enough to take two whole months off so each summer I take a new job. Like last summer I worked at a daycare but the summer before that I was at a ladies' clothing store a few streets over.” 

“What are you going to do this summer?” He asks, intrigued. 

“I’m not sure yet… I’m still friends with some of the girls at the daycare so I might go back, but honestly, I’m also thinking of putting in my application for summer school and I might tutor some of the kids that need help graduating,” she explains. “Cause I know how hard it is to try your best and still just not get it. They shouldn’t be punished for having a hard time.” 

“You sound like a wonderful teacher, I’m sure they’d really like to have you in the summer, too,” Spencer compliments. “I was always closest to the kids that didn’t do very well in school. It’s not that I pitted them or felt like I could improve them, I just liked who they were as people, more.”

“They’re lovely kids, they just get pushed to the side because they either learn differently or they can’t do the work at home for whatever reason. And they shouldn’t be punished for that, it’s not their fault that most kids nowadays have to work to help their families or become a second parent to help their younger siblings. They barely have the time to take care of themselves let alone do 5 hours of homework a night,” she rants, “I genuinely hate how the school system is currently.” 

“My nephew is in high school currently and he isn’t having the best time,” Spencer shares. “He calls me for help on his math homework sometimes and it always floors me that even if he got to the right answer, if he didn’t follow the exact formula that the teacher uses then he gets a 0. There are many different ways to solve an equation, and as long as he shows his work it should count.” 

“Exactly!” She raises her voice a little and startles a lady passing them. “It’s frustrating to watch them struggle with shit they’ll never use again unless they’re going into a math-dominated field. It’s not fair.” 

“More kids need a teacher like you,” Spencer says, giving her hand a little squeeze. 

“Why, thank you,” she gleams. “If we weren’t in the middle of the walkway I’d kiss you again…”

“The books store is just up here, you can kiss me in the aisles… if you really want to?” he kids, but not really. She can tell he wants another kiss from her. 

So she drags him into the bookstore, they tell the worker that they’re just looking and perusing the store, calling out the titles they know and rating the backs of the ones that seem interesting until they’re in the back aisle. She turns to him with a smirk, “Are you gonna make me stand on my tip-toes every time, bean sprout?” 

He smirks and places the picnic basket down on the floor so his hands are free, “I could just kiss you, instead, you know?” 

“You wouldn’t be so bold?” She tempts, secretly hoping he will. 

He tentatively reaches out, placing his beautifully soft hand on her cheek and caressing her skin with his thumb before he starts to lean in. She closes her eyes in anticipation, just mere seconds before their lips touch and like the big bang, universes were created in the pitch-black darkness behind her eyelids. Colours she’s never seen before, feelings she’s only read on pages that surround them, and a warmth in her chest that seems so foreign… yet so right. 

He goes to pull away and she leans back in, dropping the blanket in the process to kiss him again and again until his tongue slips past her lips and it's more than just a kiss. It’s the start of something beautiful. Something more than Penelope ever thought possible when her two friends ended up in the same town at the same time. 

They’re brought out of the moment by the sound of a woman clearing her throat, “You actually have to buy something you can’t just make out back here.” 

“Sorry, sorry.”

“I’m so sorry!”

The two of them rush out with equally guilty mugs. She grabs the first book she see’s, “We’ll take this.” 

“I’ll meet you at the register,” the keeper replies rather snidely and over it as she walks away. 

Looking down at the book, it’s a poetry book by an author she’s never heard of before. “You know this one?” 

Spencer shakes his head, “surprisingly, no.” 

She picks up the blanket again, he grabs the basket and the two of them slowly make their way towards the cash. “Sorry, again,” Y/N says, pressing her lips together awkwardly. “I don’t know where that came from, we really just wanted a book for our picnic.” 

“I’ve been in love before, I get it,” she waves it off with a growing smile. “This is a good choice… it’s only 6 dollars as well.”

“I’ve got it,” Spencer steps forward, taking his wallet out of his pocket and handing the woman two 5 dollar bills. “Do you take tips or donations?”

“Always, it keeps the lights on,” she’s happy to take the extra money, exchanging one of the 5’s for 4 1’s and placing them in a jar behind the desk. “Thank you, I hope to see you back here sometime.” 

“Definitely, I’d love to have a real look next time,” Spencer teases as Y/N takes the book. He places his hand on her back, “thank you.” 

“Have a good rest of your day,” she adds for good measure, following Spencer towards the door. 

“You too! And enjoy your picnic!” The lady calls back just before they leave. 

“God,” Y/N scolds herself, “I can’t believe that happened.” 

“Spencer just laughs, “It’s not that embarrassing… believe me, I’ve walked in on much worse.” 

“I can imagine, I mean, Penelope told me about some of your cases,” she says with the roll of her eyes. “I really don’t know how you did it for so long.” 

“Honestly, me either,” he agrees with her there. “How much do you know about me? Because she never told me much about you and I’m worried we’re not on even playing grounds…” 

“Oh, not much!” She tries to sound as believable as possible. “She basically told me you’re a genius, she loves you like a little brother and some little anecdotes like you were shot in the knee once and were on crutches for months and you wear a lot of purple which I’ve also seen in the Facebook photos she has of you… but nothing super personal.”

“Okay, that’s good then… cause she’s seen me at my worst,” Spencer admits as they make their way toward the park entrance

“She was basically big brother to you guys,” Y/N teases. 

Spencer manages to laugh, “Yeah, she was.”

The gates to the park are open, there are children running about cheering with one another while their parents sit on the benches and talk, barely watching on. They pass everyone and head right back to the grassy area behind the playground, past the soccer fields and take cover under a baby Willow tree that still has lots of growing left to do, however, she’s still big enough to cast a good amount of shade on them. 

She lays out the blanket perfectly and takes a seat while Spencer gets down on his knees, placing the picnic basket in front of himself. All while they’re still talking about Penelope. He takes out two plastic champagne flutes and hands them to her first, then he sets out the bubbly drink he got, followed by 4 Tupperware containers. “Speaking of which, I called her last night and she told me about your favourite snacks…” 

“No way?” She can’t believe it. 

He simply nods, a smirk growing, “It would seem you two love food.” 

“Well, it’s always late when we call so she’s seen a lot of my nightly snacks,” She admits. “Is that? No way…” She takes one of the containers and opens it up to find little croissant sandwiches. “You want me to fall in love with you? Don’t you?” 

He’s startled to hear it and she can’t believe she said it. It was forward and real and incredibly honest. But Spencer nods. Of course, he nods. “Yeah, I do.” 

She looks at him like that 'I do' was the big one. The most important one. And to her, it’s almost more important. “Really?” 

“I’ve spent most of my life completely alone, I’m tired… and I’m not settling, not at all, no,” he stutters out and worries he’s offended her. “I just mean, I like you, you’re wonderful already and everything I look for in a person and if you loved me I’d be the luckiest man in the world.” 

“Wow,” she can’t believe it. 

“Sorry—

“No, no,” she reaches out, dropping the container so she could touch his knee instead, “don’t, I’m just shocked, really…” 

“Really?” 

She nods, “Yeah, not many people have just openly told me that they like me let alone want me to love them?” 

“Me either,” Spencer admits. He’s ready to lay his whole heart bare to her. “I really want someone to love me and if that someone was you then I could die happy.” 

“Not on my watch,” she manages to smile. “My love means taking care of you. My love includes worrying and obsessing and making you entirely mine… it’s driven people away before we could even start anything real, I don’t want that to happen here.” 

“It won’t,” Spencer is quick to reply. “It can’t drive me away, it’s exactly what I want… and I want to love you just the same.” 

“You won’t have to try hard,” she teases, smiling up at him. “Come on, get comfortable, grab a sandwich and talk to me. Tell me about yourself and watch it happen.” 

“Okay,” he follows her instructions. 

He gets comfortable on the blanket, taking off his shoes so he can sit crisscross applesauce and he pours them each a glass of sparkling cider. “I’m sober,” he shares first. “I had some drug problems in my 20’s and I find if I avoid all substances, except coffee, then I won’t slip.” 

“Wise man,” she compliments. “I don’t drink either, mostly cause drinking alone is sad and I don’t like how it makes me feel.”

“And I picked this pinky one cause of the line in Paris…” Spencer admits which makes her peak right up. “You know, fake wine makes believe it’s champagne…” 

“Oh my god, you listened to Midnights?” 

He nods, “I went back to listen to Sweet Nothing and thought why not?” 

She can’t help but shake her head and smile, “That’s so cute, you have no idea how cool this is for me. No one I know really likes her, everyone acts too cool for Taylor Swift and then you come in and listen to her on your own accord? That’s— that’s everything to me, Spencer.” 

“I think she’s amazing, well, so far, at least,” he admits. “I’ve only listened to the one album but it was a great album, I particularly enjoyed Maroon.”

“Her track 2’s are always my favourite,” Y/N raves. “She saves track 5 for her personal favourites or songs that mean the most to her, like on Red there’s this one called All Too Well and it’s originally 5 minutes but on the new recording of Red it’s 10 minutes and it’s so good. It’s insanely beautiful.” 

“I can’t wait to listen to it,” he can’t help but smile. “I love listening to you talk about her, you glow.” 

“Here,” she pulls out her phone and headphones from her purse and plugs them in. “We can listen to it now if you want?” 

“Okay,” he agrees, taking an earbud and placing it in his ear while she moves closer to share the other. 

And for 10 minutes they sit there in silence, she eats her sandwich and he listens to the words with the most admiration. The hurt is palpable, the passion is gut-wrenching… he loves it and she can tell from the look on his face. He’s so focused and enthralled. She feels a warmth in her chest that she hasn’t felt before, something in this moment is what makes her really love him. She isn’t just infatuated, he isn’t just cute and nice… he’s special. 

“That was amazing—

“I never want to feel like that,” she whispers, staring at him intently. “don’t break my heart, please.” 

“I don’t plan to?” 

She lets out a deep breath she didn’t mean to hold, “I’ve never dated anyone before because I can’t go through the heartache. She made it seem so fucking awful I never want to feel it.” 

“It’s awful,” he admits, all the hurt he’s experienced comes forth, pooling behind his eyes as tears form. “I was in love only once. She died before I could tell her.”

“Oh, Spencer, I’m so sorry,” she can’t believe it. “When?” 

“In 2013.” 

“Have you been single for 10 years?” 

He nods, “Basically. I tried to date before the pandemic but she wasn’t really my type, it was more convenient so it didn’t last.” 

“Oh.”

“This isn’t like that,” he assures. “You’re kind and beautiful and you have a normal job and you make people's lives better… you’ve made Penelope’s life better. You are sunshine—

“Do not call yourself midnight rain I will laugh,” she cuts him off, biting back a smirk.” 

“I wasn’t,” he laughs too, “but it works here, too.” 

“I’m not always sunny,” she adds, making sure he knows that. 

“That’s okay,” he’s fine with it, really. “Even on gloomy days, the sun is just behind the clouds.” 

She can’t believe he just said that. It’s so beautiful and kind and about her? It makes her just stare at him, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out. She doesn’t know what to say. “Oh, man… I’m going to fall in love with you so quickly.” 

“Me too,” Spencer smiles, reaching out to hold her hand. He grips it tight and doesn’t break eye contact with her, “and I’m excited about it.” 

—

He only lives around the corner from her which means they see each other every day for the next week. They wake up at the same time, they get coffee before work, she drops him off at the police station and then she heads to the high school. After school, she goes and picks up something for dinner and he Ubers right to her apartment to eat. They talk well into the night, they listen to music, they watch documentaries and movies and they cuddle… she knows almost everything about him and he knows almost everything about her. He’s going to meet her family in the summer, hopefully, and she’s going to meet Diana in a few weeks. 

Being together is the most fun she’s ever had in her entire life. 

And while they’re not going on dates to get to know each other, they are dating and Penelope is happy about it for the most part. She’s just upset she lost her nightly chats with Y/N on Zoom. They barely even text now. 

When Penny finally does get Y/N on the phone, however, it’s on a night that Spencer has an intense case in Reno. The BAU are back in town… 3 women have died this week, all online sex workers, they never walked the streets and yet that’s where they’ve ended up. It’s heartbreaking. 

“I called him today during his break and he just sounded so defeated, it breaks my heart,” Y/N says with her hand over her chest and pleading eyes, “it’s too bad you’re not working with them again.” 

“Their new tech guy is good,” Penelope assures her, “and he’s got JJ and Luke with him so he’s fine… he’s more than fine, he’s Spencer.” 

She rolls her eyes playfully, “he is fine…” 

“You guys really like each other?” Penelope digs, she wasn’t going to pry and press too many questions but she can’t help herself. 

Y/N nods, “Yeah… I think I love him.” 

“Really?” Penelope lights right up, “Oh my god?” 

“I know! It’s been so nice, we were going to go on another date tonight but, you know, duty calls…” 

“How many have you had so far?” 

“Uh,” Y/N doesn’t really know. “Well, we unpacked boxes last Saturday and then on Sunday we went to the park and I’ve seen him every day this week…”

“I know,” Penelope pretends to be mad about it but she can’t stay fake mad for long. She loves them both too much. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I miss you too, I just like cuddles with my boyfriend more…” 

“Boyfriend?” 

She nods, “Yeah, I think that’s what we are, I mean, we’ve already talked about what we want and he said he wants to fall in love with me so I think that makes us boyfriend and girlfriend?” 

“Spencer said that? Shy, nervous, Spencer Reid?” Penelope can’t believe it. 

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, I guess that’s him… I don’t know, he’s a lot less shy with me.” 

“Have you—

“No, no, not yet,” she waves her hands in front of the screen and looks panicked. “No. We haven’t even talked about it yet.” 

“No?” 

She shakes her head, “No… I mean, I want to and we’ve had some nice make-out sessions but we haven’t done anything more than kiss.”

“Wow,” Penelope is genuinely shocked. “I thought you would’ve jumped him by now.” 

“Hey,” she says with a cheeky smile. “I have self-control… so does he, I guess cause he hasn’t even tried to cop a feel or anything, he’s super reserved.” 

“Well yeah he’s spent 40 years being a virgin,” Penelope says without any malice, she’s just stating a fact. “He’s used to things not going there. I think you have to make the move.” 

“I was thinking that too,” she doesn’t sound excited about it. “I’m just really scared even though I know I shouldn’t be when it’s Spencer. He’s going to be very sweet and he’s already told me he thinks I’m beautiful and I feel it around him… it’s just so nerve-wracking.” 

“I was still a teenager when I had sex the first time and it was so scary, I wish I waited,” she really emphasizes Wish. “I wish I was mature and chose someone good and deserving and I wish he cared about me. But you have all those things right now, it’ll be worth it now.” 

“I know,” she tries her hardest to believe her. “I know it’ll be okay… it’s just the anticipation feels more like anxiety.”

“Which is totally normal, but it’ll go away when it happens, believe me.” 

“I do.” 

—

Spencer's cause goes on another 4 days. She brings him coffee and donuts after work, she meets his friends and ex-collogues and she understands now why he had to get out of it all. Emily is just a few years older than him and fully grey, JJ sneaks out to make phone calls to her family who she doesn’t see as often as she wants and Luke is still single no matter how hard he tries. The job takes things from them. 

She gives him a hug before she leaves each time, never a kiss, that would embarrass him in front of his new co-workers and his old ones would never let him live it down. So he gets just a hug. It’s long, they linger and then she goes home. 

It’s weird being home without him now that he’s been there often. She misses him dearly, every day. All through the weekend, he works. And then the case ends on a Tuesday at 3 in the morning and stays up just for her. He buys them coffee, he walks to her place and he knocks on her door right at 6:30, 15 minutes after he knows her alarm has gone off. 

She opens the door dazed and confused. “What are you doing here?” 

“I missed my best friend.” 

“Get in here,” she tugs him inside and makes him put the coffees down so she could have a proper welcome. 

She cups his face in her hands and kisses him with so much force and passion, it startles him. But he kisses her back. He wraps her up in a big hug, bringing her in closer, he deepens the kiss with the swipe of his tongue and she pushes him back against her door. It’s as fiery as the first time, it’s better than the kiss in the bookstore, there’s so much more feeling in it now. 

His hand roams up the flat of her back, over her shoulders and rests on the nape of her neck. His thumb caresses the skin under her ear, causing her to moan into the kiss and pull away, embarrassed. Her eyes go wide and she stutters on her way to find an excuse but Spencer just smiles, still caressing her, he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek, “It’s okay… you’re so cute.” 

Her cheeks heat up and she feels bashful as all hell. “Shut up,” is all she can manage to say. “I’m still half asleep, I mean, you should be lucky I already brushed my teeth before you surprised me.” 

“Mm,” Spencer hums, running his tongue over his teeth, “that’s why you’re so minty.” 

She just pulls away and reaches for her coffee, “And now I can’t drink this until the minty-ness goes away, so thank you.” 

“Should I go awa—

“No,” she rushes out. “No, you can stay. I can drive you home on my way to work.” 

“Okay,” he can’t help but giggle a bit as he makes his way closer to her, reaching out for her waist. “You like me…” 

“Shush!” She swats him away, “I have to get ready, don’t tempt me.” 

“Just one more kiss? Come on, isn’t it the deal that I compliment you and you kiss me?” He begs. “You’re so beautiful and smart and lovely—

She steps closer to him and presses her lips right to his only to pull back just as fast. He cups her face in his hands and stops her from moving away too fast and peppers kisses to her lips. “Spence— Spencer!” She giggles while trying to pull away, “Seriously, I have to go to work!!” 

“Fine,” Spencer sighs as he lets her go, only to pull her back in for one last kiss. “Okay, now you can go.” 

She just laughs as she pulls away and heads back to her room, “Come on, you can sit in my room while I get ready.” 

“Really?” He follows even though he doesn’t believe her. 

“Why not?” She doesn’t see why it’s a big deal, “I’m just doing my makeup and then I have to pick an outfit and I’ll change in the bathroom?” 

“Okay, yeah, sorry I just thought you meant you’d change in front of me and I didn’t think we were there yet?” 

“Oh, no,” she agrees. Taking a seat at her little makeup desk, she turns to him. “When do you think we should be ready for something like that?” 

“When do you want to?” He questions her right back. 

She shrugs, “I don’t know… this Saturday is 2 weeks of us being together so, I mean, most couples start moving further around then?” 

“We’re not most couples,” he reminds her. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well,” Spencer hesitates, he looks a little nervous but he sits on the end of her bed anyway. “I’ve never had sex before… I’ve wanted to, I’ve tried.” 

“I’ve never even tried,” she’s incredibly honest. “Making out is as far as I’ve gone with anyone.” 

“Really?” He almost can’t believe it. “Why?” 

She shrugs, “I’m over-emotional and incredibly soft. I can’t do one-night stands and I’ve never trusted anyone enough to experiment before.” 

“Oh,” Spencer softens, “you feel safe with me?” 

She nods, “Extremely.” 

He gets up and wraps his arms around her, resting his cheek against the top of her head. She snuggles into him and holds onto one of his forearms, they both sigh. Completely content with one another. 

—

They agreed to try and go further on Friday night. They both have weekends off, so they could spend the whole weekend together if they wanted to. 

And when Friday comes, she isn’t nervous. It’s just a Friday. 

She placed an order for Chinese food when she got home from work and texted Spencer right after so he could get it on his way over. It was closer to his place and convenient this way and he just liked to get it for them. And while he’s on his way, she takes the time to bring out some comfy blankets to put on the couch for their cuddles later and she lights some candles and turns on her fairy lights. Her whole living room is set in a soft, romantic mood with the hopes that they could do more than just cuddle tonight… 

Spencer knocks 3 times to let her know it’s him and then he walks in, “Hey, so they ran out of spring rolls but they gave us egg rolls instead, is that cool?” 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” she doesn’t care, rushing over to the door she takes the bags from him and puts them on the table by the door instead.

He slips out of his shoes and puts them beside hers, then he takes his bag off and places it beside his shoes, next he takes off his coat and hangs it up. He even locks her front door for her, these are all things he’s used to doing after 2 weeks of visiting. She clears her throat when he takes too long to turn back to her, “excuse me, I’m waiting,” she teases. 

“Sorry,” he steps closer to her and places his hand on her cheek as he leans in for his welcome home kiss. It’s a new tradition that she loves so much and clearly he does too as she can feel him smile through the kiss. He kisses her once, twice and a 3rd time just because he can, “there, happy?” 

She shakes her head and cups both his cheeks, pulling him in for a longer, more passionate kiss. His hands go to her waist, holding her closer to his body, he wraps her up in a hug as well. She pulls back with an audible “mwah,” and a smile on her own face. “Now I’m happy.” 

“You’re so cute,” he compliments. “I missed you so much today.” 

“I missed you, handsome,” she compliments right back. “Um, I missed you so much I was wondering if maybe you’d want to stay over tonight?” 

“Oh?” He’s only slightly surprised, “yeah, I’d like that… I just need to check my bag, hold on.” 

“Okay?” She’s a little confused about why he has to, but she doesn’t ask any questions. She just watches him open up his satchel and search the pockets. 

“Oh, good,” he says with relief in his voice as he pulls out a bottle of pills and his toothbrush. “I haven’t told you yet, but I’m on antidepressants… I take them every night before bed.” 

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she says without a second thought. “Do they help?” 

He nods, putting them back in his bag until later, “Yeah, I like them.” 

“Good, now, come on,” she grabs the bag of food and makes her way over to the kitchen so she can start dishing everything out. “Did you check that they had everything?” 

“You bet, after they forgot the red sauce last time I’m never not checking the bag again,” he says as he follows her. 

They spend a few minutes in the kitchen as they fill their plates with a variety of food. Spencer opts for a fork while she uses the chopsticks provided in the bag and then they move back to the living room. They put their plates on the coffee table and sit down criss-cross apple sauce together on the floor in front of the couch. The remote is on Spencer's side of the table, and the TV is on and ready for them to pick a show, but instead, Spencer asks how her day went. 

“Oh, it was okay with my juniors we worked on SAT prep and then with my 3 freshman classes we worked on their independent study unit and I’m now considered the cool teacher cause I let them listen to their music while they read,” she shares with a smile. “And then for my spare I filled in for Miss Tyndall, the arts teacher, so we watched a David Bowie doc while they all worked on different projects.” 

“Sounds like a fun day,” Spencer loves to listen to her talk about it all. “You’d be my favourite teacher too.” 

“I know,” she can’t help but smile. “How was your day?” 

He shrugs, taking a forkful of fried rice, he covers his mouth with his hand while he talks, “It was okay, no one died so that’s a bonus.” 

For the rest of their meal, they share little stories, about their day and things they heard on the news or on TikTok, funny anecdotes and memories from their separate pasts. It’s nice. She could listen to him all day and he felt the same. When their plates are empty, they both lean back against the couch and Spencer turns to stare at her with so much love in his eyes. 

“I’m really enjoying my nights with you,” he shares, and in the silence, she feels it. But he says it anyway, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” she says and a feeling of relief flows out of her in the form of a sigh. Her shoulders drop, and she looks over at him with a sweet smile, silent as they take in the moment. “I love you so much.” 

He places his hand on top of hers, both of them are in too much of a food coma to move closer or kiss or anything. They just hold hands and stare at each other. 

“I get it now,” she whispers. “I understand what she’s been singing about all these years… this feeling right here. It’s worth the heartbreak, I think.” 

“I can’t tell the future, but I know I never want to leave you,” Spencer replies, voice equally as soft. “I want everything with you.” 

Her heart starts to beat out of her chest but she knows she has to ask it. “Would you be my first?” 

“Only if you’d be mine?” 

She nods, tears bubbling behind her eyes, and she squeezes his hand. “I’d love nothing more… but I’m in a food coma right now.” 

Spencer breaks out in a burst of historical laughter first, causing her to laugh just as hard and lean into his shoulder. 

“Well, then it’s a good thing we have all weekend,” Spencer finally says, he wraps his arm around her and holds her close. 

“Even if we don’t do it tonight, do you want to sleep in my bed with me?” 

He nods against her, “Yeah… I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually. It’s really hard to leave here in the middle of the night knowing you’re sleeping alone in there when we were just cuddling right here,” he motions to the couch. “I want to wake up with you next to me every morning.” 

The warmth that fills her stomach is a mixture of extreme happiness but also anxiety… it’s almost too good to be true. She pulls away and looks up at him with fearful eyes, “is it normal to fall in love this fast?” The words just tumble out of her. 

Spencer shrugs, “I mean… I’ve always heard the saying ‘when you know, you know’ and I’ve read a lot about love at first sight and the way we pick our mates based on familiar facial structures that make us feel safe… and I’ve been in love before and I never met her—

“But I understand why you loved her, she was the only person in your life other than your mother to truly take care of you and listen…” Y/N cuts him off, remembering the night he told her all about Maeve. 

“Yeah, and from the first day I met you, you’ve done the same,” Spencer reminds her. “You brought me muffins so that I’d have something to eat before work and you wanted to help me unpack and every day since you have cared for me more than anyone I know. Onto of that you’re beautiful and easy to talk to and you’re not only wonderful to me, but to everyone, you know. It wasn’t hard for me to love you, I’m just surprised you love me.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, for starters I’m a 42-year-old man who’s spent the last 20 years of my life hunting serial killers and I had a drug problem and I’ve killed people and I was in prison… you know everything and you still love me?” Spencer really can’t believe it. 

“Mhm, I love you because despite all that shit that’s happened to you, you still have a sweet smile and a big heart and the best mind I know,” Y/N confirms everything he needed to know. “I love you because you’re you. There’s no other reason.”

He cups her cheek and looks at her with the softest expression known to man, “I’m going to love you forever.” 

“Show me?” she whispers, pleading with her eyes to know just how much he loves her. 

“Do we just leave our plates here?” He teases, going to stand up. 

“I guess we can put them away,” she agrees, she moves to her knees and gathers up her own plate while Spencer does the same with his. 

They meet again in the kitchen, placing both plates in her dishwasher, she turns to the leftovers and starts to pack them away while Spencer moves back over to his bag. He grabs his phone and something else while she’s not looking and he opens up Spotify. He doesn’t have many songs saved to his account, just some classical music and the most important song… Sweet Nothing. 

She turns to him within milliseconds, “Spence?” 

He places his phone on the counter and hands her a little rock, one he picked up on his walk over to see her before work last week. He never had the time to give it to her between all their kissing and her getting ready for work. “Here… it’s only May but I can get you another rock in July.” 

She doesn’t want to speak or she’ll cry, but she manages to say: “okay,”  as she takes it from him and steps into his space to dance again. In her kitchen this time… 

She rests her head on his shoulder, his arms around her waist, they sway to the sound of the music and hold each other close. And then he kisses her shoulder and the side of her neck up to her ear. He cups her face in his hand and stares into her eyes, “bedroom?” 

“Bedroom,” she agrees, taking his hand in hers, she leads him back into her room and turns on just the one table lamp she has beside her bed, “should we light candles and stuff?” 

“Do you want to?” 

She shrugs, “I don’t know, isn’t that what people do when they have special sex?” 

“Special sex?” 

“You know, first times, birthday sex, anniversary sex… emotional sex,” she redefines what she meant and surprisingly she isn’t embarrassed. 

“Candles would be nice, then,” Spencer agrees with a smile. “Do you have condoms? Are you on the pill?” 

She smirks, “I bought some condoms on Tuesday after work.” 

He watches her open her bedside table and take out the box of condoms and a lighter, she hands him the condoms, “Here.” 

“Thanks,” he reads them over, latex-free, real feel, they’d work perfectly. 

While he’s reading over the box, she lights a few candles in her room and he takes a seat on the side of her bed, watching her. When she returns to him, she stands between his legs and rests her hands on his shoulders. “You’re sure?” 

“Absolutely,” Spencer smiles up at her and reaches out to hold her hips. He plays with the hem of her shirt, “how do you want to do this?” 

“Can we strip down to our underwear and get into bed and kiss for a bit and see where it goes?” 

“Of course, yeah, that sounds good,” Spencer agrees, he pushes up her shirt and she lifts her arms to help. Spencer has to stand up to pull it all the way off and then he looks down at her in her bra. “wow…” 

“Thanks,” she smirks, shaking her head as she reaches for his shirt to undo the buttons, “they’re just boobs…” 

“Just boobs,” he repeats with a small chuckle. “I’ll have you know everything about you is spectacular.” And with a rush of confidence, he cups both breasts with his hands, he runs his thumbs over where her nipples are hidden under the fabric and she has to bite her lip so she doesn’t moan. 

“Do you like that?” 

She nods and pushes his shirt off his shoulders until it's discarded on the floor. “Yeah. I don’t think you’ve ever noticed but… your hands… I watch them when you talk and when you’re tracing a page as you read really fast and you use two fingers instead of one and I’ve wanted you to touch me from the moment I saw you.”

“Mmm,” he turns her around and motions for her to get on the bed and she moves quickly, she’s resting her head on the pillows when he’s suddenly hovering over her. 

He runs his pointer finger from her chin, down her neck and between the crease of her breasts before cupping them both again and places kisses on her exposed chest. She arches into the contact and his hands follow both her arms until his fingers are interlocked with hers. Holding them over her head as he kisses her neck and shoulder. 

“So beautiful,” he whispers, “how’d I get so lucky?” 

“We have a great mutual friend, remember?” She teases,

He groans “Don’t mention her when I’m about to go down on you…” he says as he nibbles at her skin and it makes her moan, grinding her hips up against him, she wants him so bad but she still has her pants on. He sits on his knees between her spread legs and undoes the button as she lifts her hips, helping him glide them down her legs and off. He tosses them to the floor and goes right back in, gripping her by the hips he leans down and kisses her stomach… something she never thought any man would do. 

He wants her just as bad as she wants him and it’s prevalent in the way his eyes are blown out as he looks up at her, pleading with his eyes, all he says is “Can I?” And she nods. He pulls her underwear down and tosses them off only to lift one and kiss from her ankle and all the way up to her knee and then he dips in closer, smothering her inner thigh with kisses and nips and then he sucks a deep purple mark into her skin, lapping over it with his tongue before blowing on it softly. 

“Holy fuck,” she moans as he gets closer to her pussy and all she wants is his hands on her. 

Almost like he reads her mind, he moves to the other leg and hurries along until he’s kissing right along where her underwear used to meet her thigh. Then, he spreads her pussy and licks a broad stripe along her cunt. He presses a kiss to her clit next as she bucks her hips into the sensation, “Oh my god, Spence?” 

“Shh,” he whispers, looking up at her from between her legs like a man starved. “Just enjoy it, I’ve always wanted to do this.”

She’s so turned on from the teasing alone, and then he adds a finger, he gently circles it around her hole before inserting it slowly, seeing how much give she has before he takes it all. The feeling of his tongue on her is unlike anything she’s ever felt before, he’s soft yet rough and sweet yet disgusting with the noises he’s making. She can’t help reaching out and gripping his hair as her hips lift from the bed again. With only one free hand, he pushes her back down against the bed and she whines. When he adds a second finger, the stretch isn’t too much to handle, he’s so much better with his hands than she figured he’d be as he finger fucks her. His tongue on her clit and freehand trails from her hip up to grip her tit as he grinds against the mattress, he’s so into it she’s worried he might not get to really fuck her. 

“Spencer,” she pants, “holy fuck Spence, please, oh my god,” she can barely make it through the sentence when his fingers curl and her legs tremble.

“Cum for me,” he growls against her and her body listens as she jolts forward and she feels the rush flow through her bloodstream. 

“Oh!” she cups her breast and arches her back, oblivious to how he watches her while still lapping at her clit. 

When it gets to be too much for her, she grips his hair tighter and pulls him off, “fuck me, now… please?”

“Is it an order or a suggestion,” he teases as he kisses back up her body with his glistening and wet lips, “well?”

“Please?” She looks at him with the sweetest, most fucked out expression. “That was amazing, baby.” 

“Fuck,” he groans and drags himself off the bed so he can push his pants and boxers off in one fell swoop. Now, only in his mismatched socks, he doesn’t really have the time to take them off as he reaches for the abandoned box of condoms at the foot of her bed. 

She watches contently as he hastily rips it open and rolls it on before he gets back on the bed. He gets right back to where he was, between her legs, he places his hands on her knees and soothes them down her inner thighs, “you sure?”

She nods, “I’m ready.”

“Okay,” he says with a deep breath, readying himself in the meantime, he grips himself at the base and pushes the head into her, inch by inch, he watches as her mouth opens in a silent gasp. 

“My god…” he coos, “it’s like you were fuckin made for me.” 

She’s speechless, reading out for more of him, she’s desperate for his touch. Her hands land on his hips, his skin is so soft and warm and then they’re flush together. He bottoms out and stills, he drops down so that they’re chest to chest and she cups his face instead, “Hi…” 

“Hi,” he manages to laugh, holding himself up with one arm, his other hand pushes her hair back off her forehead and stays there. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” she says as she pulls him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his tongue, he collapses onto her and wraps his arm around her, angling her hips up as he starts to thrust. 

The kiss gets hungrier, and they moan into each other as he picks up the pace, really fucking her just like she asked him to. She has no idea where this side of him came from but she can’t explain how much she likes it, the hand that was once in her hair is now pushed into the pillow, bracing himself as he hovers and fucks her deeply.

She absentmindedly runs her hand along his forearm and takes his hands in hers, interlocking their fingers before he holds it over her head again and fucks into her with vigour. Her legs wrap around him, every trust grinds his pubic bone against her clit and she’s still so sensitive, she’s so incredibly close that all she can do is sloppily kiss him and moan into his mouth.

His hips snap faster and faster as he fucks her and she can’t hold back anymore when she tosses her head back and sucks him in more. “Oh my god,” and “Holy fuck,” is all she can say, making him smirk. 

He’s trying his hardest to keep his composure, breathing quickly, it’s the best workout he’s ever had trying to keep the pace and please her right. “I might,” he says between pants, “I might last a while… cause my meds—

“I don’t care,” she uses her free hand to cup his cheek again, “I want to stay here forever, holy shit.” 

“Yeah?” 

She tosses her head back again, “Oh my god, yeah!” 

He just laughs and it’s the sexiest thing she’s ever heard. She’s right there at the edge when he retrieves his hand from behind her back and rubs his thumb over her clit, “you can cum, if you want.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” she says, running her hand down his chest and looking between them to see what he’s doing, “I want to finish with you.” 

His grip on the hand she’s holding gets tighter, he’s sweaty and losing stamina and nowhere close to being done. “Do you want to switch positions?” She asks, “It’s okay?” 

“Can we?” He slows to a stop, “you’re okay with that?” 

“Spence, I love you,” she reminds him, “It’s fine, it’s better than fine, actually… I’ve heard all my friends talk about dudes who last 5 seconds, this is more than I ever expected.” 

“I’m just anxious, you can see why I take them,” he gets all blushy and bashful as he lets go of her hand, pulls out and sits back up on his knees. 

She sits up too, taking her bra off in the process. She tosses it to the floor and his jaw drops when he sees her naked chest, “fuck..” He mumbles under his breath. 

“Here, you sit up against the headboard,” she suggests, moving out of the way so he can take her place. 

Once he’s settled she straddles his hips and takes his cock in her hand, angling it toward her entering as she sits upon it. Once he’s fully inside she drapes her arms around his shoulders and smiles at him, “We can do it this way… now you’ve got a face full of tits.” 

His hands soothe down her bare back down to her hips, he licks his lips as he looks at them and helps her glide her body against his. “My god,” he all but moans, watching her boobs jiggle as she starts to really ride him. 

“You’re so deep,” she moans, tossing her head back again to free up her neck, he pulls her in and kisses her from her shoulder up to her ear, lighting sucking at her earlobe, he brings his hand up to cup her cheek and ends up gripping her hair at the nape of her neck and pulling her to the side so he can messily smother her in kisses. “No marks, I have teenagers to teach, ‘member? They’re fucking ruthless.” 

“Mhm,” he mumbles, too into it to really care, his other hand reaches down to thumb at her clit, he’s getting close and she wants to finish with him. 

He finally does cup her face with the hand that was just in her hair, he caresses her cheek with his thumb, pulling her back in for a kiss that’s all tongue. She moans into his mouth, running her hands down his chest, she uses his as leverage to keep pushing back before grinding down on him, he’s right against her g-spot and so fucking deep she can feel him everywhere, “Spence,” she whines, pulling back from the kiss, “are you close?” 

“Uh-huh,” he pulls her back in, kissing her deeper, he wraps both his arms around her back and lifts her up, laying her back against the bed and slams his hips into hers over and over. 

Her back arches again and she opens her mouth in a silent moan, it’s so good she can barely breathe. She reaches out for him, gripping his biceps, he attacks her neck again, covering her in sloppy kisses and hot breath. His pelvic bone grinds against her clit, again and again, bringing her right to the edge again until she finally peaks, moaning, she arches her back as her orgasm rushes through her but he doesn’t stop. He fucks her through it, chasing his own high. 

“Fuck, I love you, I love you so much,” he mumbles, through his last few thrusts, and then he stills with a groan, filling the condom, he drops down against her. 

they’re a ball of limbs, holding each other so close she doesn’t know where she ends and he begins. He buries his face in her neck, still kissing her, she holds him tighter, “I love you so much, too, Spencer.” 

taglist:

@reidsbookclub @samuel-de-champagne-problems @superskittles @thedancingcostumeyoungadult @midnightreids @ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129

[multific]

Doctor’s Secrets

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: During a very difficult and convoluted case the team stumbles into a secret. Soon they will figure out just how smooth Spencer Reid can really be.

"The man we are looking for targets lonely married women. Women with husbands who have jobs which keep them from home. The unsub is in his early 40s and has a criminal record of violence." As Gideon kept on going to explain to the officers just who they are looking for, Reid had a sudden realization. "This is his way of punishing the husband and the wife at the same time. In his eyes, the husband is guilty of not taking care of her and she is a cheater, much like how his parents were when he was a child. He is violent and often angry. Road rage and public meltdowns are common for the unsub."

"I have to make a call." Reid told Hotch as he suddenly rushed out to make his call.

The team did notice that Reid was rather nervous the entire day, he kept fidgeting and he was uncharacteristically weird. Spencer kept on staring at his phone as if he was waiting for a text or a call. 

But no one questioned it.

"You good, Kid?" well no one except for Morgan, of course.

"Yes, I am. I'm only worried a little."

"What this unsub got you scared?"

"I'm... kind of..."

This is when an officer walked over to the room where the team was, knocking on the door.

"Dr Reid, as you requested, your wife is here."

The entire team looked at Spencer.

"WIFE?!" called out Garcia through the phone before she ran to find them.

---

You were sitting at home, working when your phone rang.

"Hi Babe." you said as you started to drink your tea.

"Y/N, I sent a car to you, there is a serial killer out there, his profile... he is killing women like you, the police car will be there soon, please just go with them, they will bring you to me." he sounded extremely worried, and you knew what you needed to do. 

"I will be fine, Spencer, they just arrived, I'm coming to you."

You heard him let out a long sigh and without another question, you gathered your purse and headed to the cop car.

When you arrived at the station you had no idea what to do.

Spencer always kept you very far from his job so you won't be affected like he once was. 

You never minded him keeping you so far from his line of work it did help a lot for you to help him through the harder times.

Spencer and you have been married for the last three years and before that dating for years, his team didn't know about you because he chose not to mention you to any of them. 

It was the reason why he always kept his wedding band at home, you weren't really a fan of him not wearing it but you understood.

But now, when he called you, he did make you worry a lot.

Talking about a serial killer who targeted women like you.

"Y/N," you heard your name being called and when you turned you saw Spencer, a smile find its way onto your lips.

"Hi." he went over to you and gave you a hug. "I'm all good." you said when you felt him tighten his grip around you.

"I'll introduce you, come on." he grabbed your hand and guided you into a room. The room was filled with files and photos on a board but for now, you tried to focus on the people as all of them introduced themselves one by one.

"Hi, my name is Penelope, very lovely to meet you."

"Hi, I'm Y/N Reid, nice to meet you as well."

"While we figure things out, Garcia please look after, Mrs Reid." said Hotch.

"OH! I will show you my magic room!" the kind woman chirped as you nodded, you understood they had a job to do.

Penelope was a very nice woman, her room, was filled with monitors and she kept on going over them.

"Can-Can I ask you something?" you asked as you rolled over to her in your chair. 

"Of course,"

"Spencer said that the killer targets women like me. Can-Do you know what he meant?"

"From what I heard, the killer targets women with husbands who stay away for longer periods, this is his way of punishing the people who are like his parents were."

"I see, I was trying to think if I have seen or heard anything but-"

"This is not your fault, Spencer did well on protecting you as he should."

"I know but, there are women out there who don't have a husband with such knowledge, they are in danger. I cannot help but think that while I had the opportunity to run away and hide, many of them don't."

"Don't blame yourself, Sweetie. This is not your fault at all. And you being here helps Spencer concentrate so they can catch the killer faster."

"Thank you."

"Of course," she smiled as the phone rang, she picked up, it was on speaker.

"Talk to me, Hot Stuff."

"Garcia, can you check on a Dr Thomas Jones?"

"Works in New Jersey, family medicine doctor, no criminal record, divorced, his wife now lived in California... guess she ran as far as she could."

"Oh God." Garcia looked at you as you said that. "I know him."

"Y/N? What do you mean?" Derek said on the phone. 

"He was my doctor, I used to go every other month for a check-up. He-He tried to hit on me many times but I told him I'm married. I always thought he was weird."

"Good, thanks, we can use that against him. Thanks, Garcia, Y/N."

Derek hung up the phone as you looked at Penelope.

"One time, I went because I had a fever, he was touching me but I thought I was only imagining it because I had a high fever. I didn't go to him after that."

"So, that's how he chooses his victims. He knows about your husband, he has all of your info."

"The sick bastard. I should have told Spencer."

"It's okay, Y/N. We will catch him now." you nodded as she began to type. You moved back to the table but you couldn't concentrate. You just hoped the horror would end.

You and Penelope went to get some coffee when Spencer barged into the kitchen.

"We got him." he smiled and you saw him letting out a long sigh. You smiled at him as you put your mug down, heading over and giving him a hug.

"I'm proud of you." you said as you pulled away, returning to your coffee.

"SO, as I was saying, the store had a sale but the bag I had my eyes on for months, just disappeared." Penelope groaned behind you as you turned to look at him, sitting down by the table, you turned to Spencer.

"I can wait for you, if you have paperwork."

"Okay, I'll try and be quick." he smiled and you nodded before you returned to the conversation with Penelope. 

Spencer run to his desk as he sat down he noticed Derek looking at you from where he was sitting by his desk.

"You got lucky, Reid." Derek said. "But why keep it a secret?" Morgan now looked at Spencer. 

"I thought we were friends, you could have told us." Emily now also sat down at her desk joining the conversation.

"It was a small wedding, only her parents and my mum, that's all I had time for. But she didn't mind, she said she understands that I'm busy. She often says she wouldn't have married me if she didn't know what it comes with." Hotch hearing that, really felt a pain in his chest, but everyone else could only smile at Spencer.

"Let's go out for a drink sometime, so we can get to know her like Garcia did." said Jason Gideon as he grabbed his bag and left for the weekend.

Spencer could only smile as he soon finished his report.

"Let's go home." you turned around at his voice. 

"Let me grab my bag." you headed back to Garcia's room. "It was nice meeting with all of you." you said to everyone as you waved goodbye. Spencer's hand was on your waist as he guided you to the elevator.

"Garcia?" asked Hotch as everyone looked at him.

"She is perfect, so kind and smart." Hotch nodded before heading back to his office.

Everyone was more intrigued now, they all wanted to get to know you.

No one could believe that their boy-wonder was keeping such secrets.

As Spencer started to drive, you turned to him.

“I really like your team.”

“They like you too.” he smiled.

“Do you think I could get to know them better?”

“Of course, Gideon already wants to go out for drinks so he could talk with you.”

“Oh great, cannot wait to get profiled by him.”

“Well-”

“Shut it! I know you already did but I don’t want to know!”

“You got it, Darling.”

“Penelope is a sweetheart, she gave me so many names of stores to get clothes.”

“Please don’t start dressing like her. I like your style already.” you smiled at that.

“Thank you, Spencer. I know I should have told you about Dr Jones... but you are already so busy.”

“I’m never too busy for you, Love.” he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.

You soon arrived home, took a nice shower and hit the bed. You were always very worried that his team won’t like you, but now, after meeting them, you felt at ease.

You just couldn’t wait to meet them once again, after all, they are your husband’s second family.

Taglist: @fleursirvart​ @greenarrowhead​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @sincerelyfan​ @theoneanna​ @aestheticsandmarvel​ @rororo06​ @castellandiangelo​ @destynelseclipsa​ @spilledinkindumpster​ @capsiclesdoll​ @puknow​ @alwayshave-faith​ @alex12948​ @lxdyred​  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​ @praline357​ @trshngyn​ @avengers-r-us​ @violet-19999​ @top1bbgloak​   @manduse​   @jacalineiscomingforyou​  @mandoloriancookie​ @noname2246​

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[chrisevansleftpeck]

Kitty Games

Word Count: 1k

Spencer Reid x Reader

Content Warnings: None :)

“This one!” You pointed at a small brown kitten, curled up in a ball inside of a cage. “Oh, Spencer, please say yes, please say yes.” You’d finally managed to drag Spencer to the pound after a long argument about adopting an animal. It took five months for him to even agree on getting a cat, but four more months to decide on whether to adopt or rescue. Finally, an agreement had been made.

Spencer smiled down at the kitten’s mud-colored fur. He chuckled a little under his breath at the kitten’s meows at you as you offered your hand out in front of its cage. Still crouched at the kitty’s level, you turned your head towards Spencer. 

“I didn’t say a thing.” Though Spencer couldn’t hide his smile as he pretended to doubt the kitten’s cuteness.

“It’s a girl, Spence. But she’s a baby and doesn’t have a name yet.” You waved your hand at Spencer to crouch down next to you. He shook his head in protest but was forced down as you unexpectedly yanked at his hand. “See that?” You pointed at the information attached to the kitten’s cage. “No home, no prospective buyers. She’s all ours if we want her.” 

Spencer’s face softened as he looked at the kitty, watching her lick at her paws and purr. No doubt in his mind she was the one. Yet still… “I don’t know y/n. I don’t know if she’s the one.” 

Your mind whirred. You couldn’t not take this cat. What if someone else rescued her by the next time you visited the pound? “Baby, please. She’s perfect and I love her a lot. I really really want her.” 

“We can’t make a choice in one day. Let’s revisit this over the weekend, okay?” Spencer watched as his words broke your heart, but deep down he knew it’d be worth it. However, Spencer didn’t expect your sadness to turn into anger so quickly. 

You shot up and started towards the door. Spencer followed you out into the cold quickly, “I’m eating with Penelope, Em, and JJ in two hours anyways. I’ll ask one of them to pick me up from here.”

Spencer looked puzzled, you were upset with him. For real. “We- we came here together though.”

“Well I don’t feel like going home alone without a cat right now. But since you do, I think you’ll do just fine going home without me too.” You were making no sense at this point. You were in a post-pound funk after seeing so many sweet babies without a home or place to live.

Spencer reached for your hand in distress, but you just yanked it away. “Alright. But I’m not leaving until I see you get into a car.” 

“Fine.” You whispered.

“Fine.” Spencer bit back, really hoping this game would be worth it. 

___________________________________________________________

As soon as Spencer knew he was in the clear, he ran back inside the pound and wasted no time rescuing that kitten. He’d calculated that he’d probably have about four hours to get the cat and set everything up, so there was no time to waste. 

Straight from the pound with a brand new kitty, Spencer drove to Petco and picked up a pink fluffy dome-shaped cat bed, much bigger than the kitty, which he thought was funny. On his trip he also picked up an array of cat food and other necessities such as food and water bowls, litter, a litter box, scoopers, everything he’d need. 

That left him with two hours to set up the kitty’s toys and new purchases in the apartment. He spent every minute carefully, building the kitty’s perfect new scratching post, kitty palace of a bed, and filling a little cookie jar with tiny cat treats. All done, Spencer waited in the living room with his kitty in his lap, a big pink bow tied around her, so that he could see your reaction as soon as you walked in. 

You made it into the apartment around 9:40 and slid a to-go meal across the kitchen counter. It was a little something you’d picked up for Spencer. No matter how upset you were, you loved him and would always look after him.

“Hey, we missed you.” Spencer stood up from the couch, extending the wrapped kitty in his arms out to you. 

Your hands shot up to your mouth. “Oh my god. Spencer-” You dragged on as your eyes began to cloud. Spencer carefully laid her in your arms, unwrapping the pink bow around her. “Oh my god, I feel horrible, horrible, horrible.” You whispered as you pet your new kitty.

“I knew to pull off the surprise I’d have to make you sad, but I didn’t think you’d be mad.” He laughed, watching you place a little kiss on the kitten’s small head. Your heart melted as she purred into the kiss.

“Oh! And she has toys, oh my god. It’s so perfect,” You finally looked up at Spencer with a little tear running down your cheek, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Spencer shook his head, just wrapping you and his baby kitten up into a big family hug. “Don’t be.” He placed a kiss on both you and the kitten. “What’s our baby’s name?”

“Hmmm.” You thought with a smile. “Muffin.”

“Ooh, I love Muffin.” Spencer replied, making you giggle. You watched as Spencer’s eyes studied your lips. “I love you. Thank you for everything.”

“I love you so much more. Thank you for the world, plus my kitty.” You placed a kiss on Spencer’s nose in return, then went back to stroking Muffin’s back. 

Spencer raised his hand to your face, “Our kitty.” He claimed with a smile.

“Our kitty.” You corrected yourself, pulling Spencer and your mutual furbaby into a tight, loving, thankful squeeze. The long day made sense now. Everything was worth that moment. Everything was worth little Muffin Reid.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

I’m starting a taglist, if you’d like to be added just comment!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Taglist:

-  @goobysgoobers

[the-guilty-writer]

Statistics, Rubix Cubes, and Waiting Rooms

Request: You can read the original request and headcanons based off the request here.

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

Summary: Your dad, Spencer, sits with you as you wait for your psychological testing to begin.

A/N: I think Spencer with an autistic daughter who is late to get a diagnosis is my favorite thing to write about because it's self-indulgent for me as well as the people who gravitate towards my blog. Also, I made it so the reader is going in for psychological evaluation rather than just for autism since in my experience a psychologist will evaluate for multiple things rather than just for a target diagnosis when the screening process first starts (but this is just my experience and it may be different for others). Please note that autism comes in a spectrum (or rather a pie chart) for a reason, so this is by no means is a representation of the experience of every AFAB autistic person.

CW: talks about autism, misdiagnosis, reader recalling that she's been told that she just has anxiety, waiting room atmosphere, picking at skin

---

You never thought that a place could be too silent or too still. For years you had sought comfort in the quiet corners of libraries to avoid noisy lunch rooms and wrapped your arms around yourself on the metro to deaden the sensation of constant movement. But today, sitting in the near-empty waiting room of a psychiatrist's office, you strained your ears to hear something and looked around for movement that wasn’t there.

“(Y/N),” your dad, Spencer, whispered gently in your ear. “Sweetie, you’re picking at your fingers again.”

You looked down- the nail beds that your Aunt Penelope had so perfectly manicured just a few days ago were now ruined. You had pulled and picked away at the skin so much that it was fraying. There were a few places where you’d managed to pick away at the layers until it was pink and raw and close to bleeding. All without you even noticing.

“Something soft or something hard?” Spencer asked you.

“Hard,” you replied instantly. If you got something too soft, too moldable, too easy on your hands now, you might scream.

Your dad produced his old rubix cube from his pocket. The thing was ancient- older than you were- but that just made it more special. The joints rotated easily, but always snapped into place where you wanted them to. And it made just enough noise that it disrupted the deafening silence.

With the cube already mixed up you got to work. Part of you wanted to rush, but part of you wanted to take your time. Part of you wanted this to be over and part of you wanted it to never stop.

When you got to the last few moves and the colors still weren’t in place, you stopped your work and squeezed the object.

“Do you want help, or do you want to do it on your own?” Your dad asked.

“I want help,” you said.

You handed him the cube. Spencer twisted the cube a few times until it was the last move- the one that would put all the colors back into place. He handed it back to you and you rotated it one more time- the cube locking into place with a satisfying click. 

You breathed out, trying to let the tension in your shoulder go, but it didn’t seem to want to leave.

“What if-” you weren’t sure if you could articulate what you wanted to say. “What if it comes back as nothing we haven’t heard before?”

Lucky for you, Spencer Reid could basically read minds.

“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” he said. He gently took the cube from your hands and misplaced a few of the colors- ones that you could easily put back in place- then handed it back to you. 

Thankful that your dad seemed to know exactly what you needed right then, you put the colors back in place. “But you’ve gone through all this trouble and taken all this time off work. What if all the tests say that it is just anxiety?”

You gave the cube to your dad again, who began to mix it up as he talked.

“I couldn’t find a definite statistic,” your dad said. “But it’s estimated that over 40% of girls with autism are misdiagnosed at least once with a mental illness or disorder before receiving an autism diagnosis. And most girls don’t receive a proper diagnosis until they’re in their late teens or early twenties.”

“So I’d fall into that statistic,” you said.

Spencer sighed and put the cube away. “You’re more than a statistic,” he said. “You’re my daughter. And that means I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that no matter what diagnosis you get it’s the right one so I can help make your life just a little bit easier.”

Your capacity for eye contact fluctuated- sometimes you couldn’t look at anyone or anything and sometimes the reflex to hold eye contact was so intense it felt like if you didn’t you would die. This was one of those moments, when you looked so deeply into your dad’s eyes that you could see your reflection and it felt like that was the only thing keeping you from exploding.

“(Y/N) Reid,” a nurse called from the door. You looked over to her and felt your hand shake nervously. “We’re ready for you.”

You swallowed and took a deep breath.

“Daddy?” You hadn’t called Spencer “daddy” since you were five, but at the moment it felt like you were five again- small and defenseless against the world with only your father (and his revolver) to protect you. “Can you come with me?”

Spencer smiled, tight-lipped and gentle. “Always.”

And just for a second, it didn’t matter what you got diagnosed with, because no matter what your dad would always know what you needed and he would always fight for you, no matter what.

[dootznbootz]

I fully blame the Telegony for starting this. It was the first to break up OdyPen and starting the whole "Odysseus is willingly unfaithful" interpretation

EUGAMMON OF CYRENE, WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU!

He needs to be thankful that history is keeping me from yelling at him. 👀 I would leave a book review that would make him CRY. HOMER would leave a book review that would make him cry. My gosh, I wanna see something silly like a meme of some sort with Homer about to fucking WRECK Eugammon, that's so funny.

like it's just such a mess. not only against his character but there are so many points that go against the Odyssey.

1.) Odysseus' line is supposed to only have one son each time. That's Telemachus. You can't just retcon shit to have your OC exist in canon, Eugammon. At least admit it's an AU (Joking...Kind of. 👀)

2.) Tiresias' prophecy. (even fucking wikipedia mentions this fuck up!)

3.) Ultimate wife guy/family man, whose marriage bed is literally a symbol on how he's rooted like a tree on Ithaca, rooted to his marriage, where he belongs, apparently needs to do fuck all and wander about.

4.) You're telling me, Penelope, Queen of Ithaca, was into this marriage circle bullshit? That she would marry he beloved husband's murderer??

Also with the whole "he had a new wife and was with until she died." HOW OLD WAS ODYSSEUS?! HOW OLD WAS PENELOPE?! Odypen were both probably around mid to late 40s when they reunited (at least that's how I see them lol) FOR ANOTHER WOMAN TO GO THROUGH HER WHOLE LIFE WITH HIM???? ARE THEY 150 YEARS OLD????!

And honestly, I think you're right, if it weren't for that stupid poem, I think people would actually study the Odyssey and look through it like, "huh...You know, he seems pretty scared of these goddesses...And really obsessed with this cool as fuck woman. Neat." BUT NO!!! SOME DINGUS HAD TO WRITE BAD FANFIC THAT FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE ALWAYS BRING UP IN YOUTUBE COMMENTS!

You know what? Yeah. Meme time of Homer wrecking Eugammon.

[dispatchvampire]

Radio Free Bucky - Bucky x Fem!OC

Pairing: Bucky x OC (in progress)

Warnings: Fluff, mild angst, casual swearing, smut in later chapters

Series Summary: A bunch of interrelated  of fluffy ficlets about Bucky and Penelope. Strangers in the night, tenuously connected by the past, finding their way together a little at a time.

Chapter Summary: In which Bucky has a birthday and someone unexpected knows about it.

It was his birthday, but he’d kept the proceedings low key. Dinner with Sam and his family, some cake, before retiring to the fixer-upper he’d bought not far from their family homestead so he had a place to stay in Delacroix  that wasn’t the front room couch when he came down. That’s really all he had the mental and emotional space for these days.

The soft patter of rain on the roof and windows droned in the background as he worked on the birdhouse Sarah had asked him to. Sam’s sister was a sweetheart, very unlike her brother, and he had no problem giving in to any and all requests from her and her boys. They did love them some Uncle Bucky. 

A memory of a warm summer afternoon on the bayou made him smile as Chet Baker’s smooth voice crooned about falling in love too easily, just a shade louder than the downpour. As much as Sam gave him shit for it, Bucky liked what he liked, and he wasn’t ashamed. It was good music. 

He’d found this satellite radio station one day online, looking for god knows what now, but it had been a revelation. A whole channel devoted to 40’s music, and it was like the universe was giving him a bit of comfort after kicking the hell out of him for so long. 

The soulful trumpet at the end of the song faded into the gathering shadows in his workshop.

“That was Chet Baker on vocals and trumpet there, and I think that might be my favorite song of his. It’s ten past eight here on the east coast, and this is 40s Junction.” 

Just hearing her voice made Bucky smile. It was warm, knowing, with a spark of humor that made him wonder if her actual smile was as nice as what he pictured in his head. And, to be fair, he’d pictured her a bit.  

This woman, the only female DJ at the station near as he could tell, was a nightly companion as he worked on his projects and unwound at the end of the day. Hearing tiny snippets of her life, and how joyfully she related to the music that was clearly way too old to be current for her, made him feel a little less alone in the world. It was an unusual feeling and he’d started to enjoy it. 

“Now, I know I promised you all I’d get to some Ella Fitzgerald this hour, but…” she trailed off and he turned his head to look at his phone like he expected to see her there, with a mischievous grin. “I wanted to take a moment to share something with you all. Today’s a special day in my family. It’s a tradition my Pawpaw started way back in 1945.

“I’m sure you all have guessed by now that he’s the reason I’m here with you, five nights a week from four to midnight. He was my best friend growing up and I miss him terribly. 

He served in the Army in Italy, with the 107th Infantry Regiment.” Bucky carefully set his work aside as his fingers went numb. 

“You history buffs probably recognize the unit, but for those that don't, that’s Captain America’s outfit, and my grandfather was Gabe Jones, one of the original Howling Commandos. 

“Today is March 10th, the birthday of one of my Pawpaw’s fallen comrades in arms, Bucky Barnes. For years, on this day, he’d raise a glass and tell us about the man who saved his life more than once. A man who gave him a reason to go on, to keep fighting, even when all seemed hopeless. Whose death marked his young life indelibly. You get the picture. 

“He’d raise a glass and ask us to remember the fallen and their families, and to help those still around us carry on. After the Blip, I’m sure a lot of us can relate to those sentiments.” Her sigh held paragraphs he didn’t need a translation for. 

“Anyway, long story short, it feels weird to say that Bucky isn’t dead, as Pawpaw informed us, but I’m celebrating his day just the same. I’d like to think he’s having a good 107th birthday, out there, somewhere. 

“As for me, I raise a glass to him, and all the boys who served.” She paused and he could faintly make out the sounds of ice cubes hitting glass. “And with an extra sip for those who didn’t make it home. Happy Birthday, Sergeant Barnes, wherever you are. Now, here’s Ella, serving up some Black Coffee.” 

Bucky’s gasp when the music kicked back in told him that at some point he’d lost air, and even though he was breaking currently, the lump in his throat was throttling him slowly. Of all the things… so many thoughts in his head, fragments of memories, imaginings. Abandoning his workbench entirely, he shuffled across the room to toss himself down onto the couch in the now mostly-dark. 

He could see Gabe’s face in his mind like it was yesterday. Easy smile, quick wit, brilliant mind. Gabriel Jones had been a good man, and it warmed Bucky’s heart to know he’d gone on to come home, have a family, and that he kept the joy in his life. 

The tender affection in her voice when she spoke of her grandfather said more than any words could ever. That was the true measure of a man, the love of those left behind.

There was a voice in his head, one that sounded annoyingly like Dr. Rainor’s, whispering that he was well-remembered by those he’d left behind too, and that meant something. To them, to the world. It was a voice quickly snuffed out by the knowledge that while that may have been true at the time, a whole encyclopedia of lifetimes had transpired between then and now, and his worthiness of that sentiment, no matter how well-intended, well… it was more worn than not. 

Still, it warmed his heart a little to know that he was thought of fondly, and by his DJ-crush of all people, even if it was a strange coincidence. How could it not? He may have still been getting used to this time, but having that moment, that connection no matter how brief, felt like a much-needed hug in a world that has offered him precious little in the way of comfort. 

For a second, he could just close his eyes in the gathering darkness and let the music and rain rhythm wash over him, like a baptism of time, washing him clean once more. For a second, he could just… be. And it was enough

[maxverstepponme]

Wow Kelly had the smallest slice of cheese cake, wrote the caption 2 cheese cakes in 2 days (so I’m assuming the 2nd slice of the day before equally small), and then posts a selfie in the gym with “when the guilt hits 🐳”. I’m shocked honestly. She’s promoting disordered eating to her young fanbase. A slice of cheesecake (even two in two days) isn’t something to be guilty of in a normal, well-balanced diet. And taking into consideration she’s editing every picture of herself, yikes. I hope she can speak to someone about her issues

TW: ED’s

This pissed me off, so much.

It’s not even about the two cheesecakes anymore, but about the fact that she captioned the story with “when the guilt hits” and proceeded to add a fucking whale. Just because she’s sick and has an unhealthy relationship with food -which is what she’s showing us- doesn’t mean she can say stuff like that, much less post it.

Yes, it’s her feed and she can post whatever she wants, but her whole ‘fan base’ consists of 13-16 year olds that worship the ground she walks on for some reason, and seeing her post something like this will only mess with their heads. Just imagine how a plus size fan would feel seeing that story, how someone recovering from an eating disorder or someone who suffers from body dysmorphia would feel after seeing that.

For someone who can’t stop talking about being kind and sending light to people, this is a new level of low.

I really feel bad for Penelope because her mother is going to be the new Yolanda Hadid. Can’t say I’m surprised though. I knew she was like this the moment I saw her going all “no no no” at Max after he joked about gaining weight in his 40’s.

[eloise175]

Quick analysis of various instances I noticed over the course of the story

Contains mild spoilers from the novel, so be warned.

In the chapter 119, we saw how Penelope was actually worried that Winter might die. This terrified her since it ‘broke’ the logic of the game and its mechanics. Her inner thoughts were something like: “But he’s a love interest. Surely he can’t die, right?” Showing how Penelope is very much convinced that it is all a game, and uses this notion to reassure herself whenever she’s feeling anxious/apprehensive.

This happened before, in the hunting tournament (chapter 69), when Callisto was knocked down from his horse by an arrow and briefly lost his bearings, (no I don’t think he actually lost consciousness, instead I believe he was ‘playing dead’ and decided against it when Penelope started to panic and call out to him worriedly, realizing that the assassins might want to get rid of her too since she was a witness).

This to say that despite her better judgement, the game is starting to feel a little to much like reality, and this belief is backed up by the appearance of the system windows (that later on will be revealed to be the Ancient Wizards’ doing to help her).

It’s all an excuse that Penelope clings to, so she can prevent getting too emotionally involved, but unfortunately for her, she’s inevitably doing so. She’s somewhat aware of it, and every time her worry subsides, she ‘reprimands herself’ mentally:

“What am I thinking? They can’t die. They’re love interests.”

“This is only a game, so why am I feeling like this?”

(Or something amongst those lines).

Her subconscious already recognizes the targets not as characters, but as actual people. It’s still too unbelievable for her, so even if their actions are considered ‘out of character’ from what she remembers their personalities to be, Penelope doesn’t question it much, merely brushing it off as the game’s fault for not elaborating further in the male-leads’ descriptions, (like she did in the cave scene after finding out more about Callisto’s sad childhood).

This will later on change; during the Crown Prince’s birthday banquet, Penelope comes to the shocking realization that she indeed has feelings for Callisto. She always admitted of not viewing him as a target, despite the favorability score on top of his head, but now she’s even less prone on seeing him as a in-game character due to her feelings for him.

More down the line, after exploring the tomb of the Ancient Laila, and getting a clear look through the mirror of truth at the true nature of this strange world she got stuck in, Penelope will come to the conclusion that it was never a game to begin with, (this still does not stop her from occasionally referring to this reality as ‘crazy game’).

As Winter comes back, we can see how Penelope’s earlier worry is replaced by irritation and perhaps anger too. They’re now safe, and she has a chance to actually process the feelings that were previously put on a backseat.

Penelope is assumably very angry at what he did. Not only did he show how careless he can be to prove a theory, but he put her and different sorcerer kids in great danger, all for his dumb ‘test’ to see if Penelope was a follower of Laila. It is understandable that he’s very weary and has his reasons, but he’s purposefully endangering the very kids he swore to protect, by literally thrusting them into the cultists’ hands (the very people the children need to be protected from).

At least someone (Raon) is happy that he’s back. Penelope looks like she’s about to sucker-punch him into oblivion.

Jokes aside, I think that after Penelope confronts Winter about his actions, the season will come to a close, considering that each season is around 40 chapters, this one will be the same too, plus it’ll be the perfect opportunity to end it with the conclusion of the island arc.

I can’t wait for the next season, since it will have Yvonne’s appearance, Callisto’s birthday banquet, the greenhouse scene, and maybe the long awaited coming-of-age ceremony, (we’ll also get to see Cedric again! ^^)

[fishymom-art]

MORE REFS FOR SING TILL YOU CAN'T CHARACTERS!!

This time all of them are tall lol XD

Info under the cut (btw, some info about the rest of the characters (mainly their voice claims) were changed, I'll do something about it a bit later)

Charles and Barry are the King in the Human Realm - 2 out of 3, in fact. The rest of the characters on the ref sheet are the five Overlords of the End Realm, who rule next to Raff. They're all responsible for different things (I will say later) and of course, come from different realms too. Charles and Barry have personal beef with Tim, hahaha.

Charles Drew - Human - he/him - Pansexual - 27 y.o - The King of Clubs. He is one of the Kings in the Human Realm. - (Inspired by: Thomas Jefferson from Hamilton Musical, Vox from Hazbin Hotel, Sammy Lawrence from BatIM) - Voice Claim (for now): Christian Borle

Bartholomew Brachet (Barry) - Human - he/they/she - Asexual - 30 y.o - The King of Spades. Rules the Human Realm along with Charles and another King. Mostly acts as scary dog privilege. - (Inspired by: Maui from Moana, Repair Androids from Doctor Who (The Girl in the Fireplace) ((very specific, I know))) - Voice Claim (for now): Black Gryph0n

Zachary - Ziz/Gryphon - she/he - Lesbian - 20 y.o - The Lady of the Word. The youngest of the Overlords in the End Realm, who's responsible for the people and is their voice. She was banished from the Occult Realm, but not even she knows why. - (Inspired by: me, to be fair) - Voice Claim (for now): Penelope Scott

Chantal - Gargoyle - he/him - Straight - 40 y.o - The Lord of the Earth. The oldest of the Overlords in the End Realm who's responsible for everything on the ground (agriculture, for example). Left the Occult Realm by himself. - (Inspired by: no one, I think. (maybe a bit of Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel went into his behavior haha)) - Voice Claim (for now): Jeremy Jordan

Delmar - A spirit - she/her - Straight - 37 y.o - The Lady of the Seas. One of the Overlords in the End Realm, who's responsible for everything in the Seas. She's also Master to all Sea/Water Fairies. Was banished from the Void Realm for going against the rulers (might've killed someone). - (Inspired by: La Llorona, Ballora from FNaF) - Voice Claim (for now): Carmen Goett

Gua-Yin Hsü - Ghost (previously Angel) - she/he/they - Aroace - 38 y.o - The Lady of the Dead. The most mysterious (and tallest) Overlord, who's responsible for the Dead. People in the End Realm cannot escape by simply dying. Was banished from the Ether Realm but used to be a ruler there. - (Inspited by: Guanyin, the Goddess of Mercy in Chinese folk religion, as well as King Yan, the God of Death; Queen Angela from She-Ra) - No voice claim yet, but I take requests!

Caelus - Angel (by this universe's definition) - he/him - Bisexual - 35 y.o - The Lord of the Sky. The Overlord who is responsible for everything in the sky (duh). Was banished from the Ether Realm alongside Gua-Yin Hsü and ruled that realm alongside her. - (No real inspiration, but pls don't compare him to Amon from My Movie 14, it's a coincidence that they look kinda similar T_T) - Voice Claim: Benjamin Stuart Steele

[babygirl-garcia]

This is my first Garcia x Reader, so be gentle /lh

This is Garcia x tall AFAB!reader, because I never see enough Garcia content in my life. The next chapter, I promise, will be smokey and HAWT, so be on the lookout for that. Special thanks to @hotchs-big-hands and @criminalskies for your support in my endeavors 💅

“You’ll Be The Death of Me” [Garcia x tall AFAB!reader]

Dating apps were the last thing you thought you would ever use- but after sulking while your sister raved about her engagement and wedding plans, you decided that, damn it, it was going to be your turn. Love was never easy for you, you had an extensive list of messy exes to back this up, but at her request, you gave one of them a try.

With a sigh, you realized immediately that this app was full of beautiful people; beautiful people, sure, but not anyone that fit your interest. Models, swimmers, guys who held fish up to the camera proudly. They all seemed so fake and forced. The first day, after seventeen swipes left in a row, you decided to put the search on hold, that maybe it wasn’t worth it. And you did- you ended up forgetting about it for the next several days. You opened the app to check for any new notifications or messages, to no avail, and were about to close the app when you saw her:

The most beautiful woman you had ever seen.

Penelope Garcia was her name. She was beautiful in the way the others weren’t- her smile reached her eyes, genuine, and her two-toned hair reminded you of your very own when you had first decided to color it. Cute little butterfly clips sat atop two half-up space buns in one photo, and another showed her beaming with a small group of friends. You blinked as you remembered how to breathe, and chewed on your lip as you swiped right. You raised your brow as confetti showered the screen. “Hey,” you asked, turning to your sister. “what does ‘super match’ mean?”

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For the next week or so, you and Penelope messaged back and forth on the app, before you exchanged numbers per her request. You were currently sat at your desk in your room as you did a bit of scrapbooking, listening to your favorite artist in your headphones. A soft ping! pulled you from your work, and you grinned when you saw the notification from your messages at the top of your phone.

new message from Penelope

6:35 pm

Hey, cutie! Sorry it’s so late, but I wanted to ask u something… would u maybe want to go out for coffee or smth sometime? I like the direction we’re headed in, and I’m srry if this forward, I’ve never been one to make the first move like this. Okay bye.

new message from Penelope

6:35 pm

Not ‘bye’ like I’m done talking to u, I just… I guess I’m nervous? I don’t want to do it wrong?

You smiled softly and shook your head, pulling one side of your headphones off, and worked out a reply.

Hey, ur totally fine, sweets, no worries! I would love to grab some coffee with u. Name a time and place. x

The near-instantaneous reply pulled a laugh out of you:

new message from Penelope

6:37 pm

This Saturday, 2? Assuming ur free, I’d hate to pull u from work or smth

You wondered what she did for work, the two of you hadn’t discussed that yet, but that’s what a first date was for. Oh god, you realized- this was a date.

Works for me, gorgeous, my treat.

A minute or so passed between your reply and Penelople’s, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d sent the poor girl into a panic attack before- ping!

new message from Penelope

6:40 pm

It’s a date ;) Send me ur coordinates, and I’ll pick u up Sat

You grinned before sending her a screenshot of your address, then immediately ran to your closet to find something to wear.

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A few days later, Saturday, you stood before your mirror, lips pursed in thought. You weren’t the shortest thing, so most dresses gave the illusion of being smaller than they really were, but this one… it came mid-thigh, and showed off your long legs. You could fix this, you thought, heading back into the closet to grab a pair of fishnet stockings and a leather jacket to pull it all together. You glanced at the perfect pair of heels on your shelf that would match the dress better than any other pair- but hesitated. You hadn’t relayed to Penelope that you were tall, most likely far taller than her, and you didn’t want to scare her off this early. You settled instead for a pair of boots, then stepped back in front of the mirror to give yourself a final once-over. You fluffed your hair up, admiring your handiwork you’d managed with your curling iron. Your phone went off on your desk behind you, and your heart raced as you glanced at the time- 1:55 -and a text from Penelope.

new message from Penelope

1:55 pm

Srry, I’m a lil early, I’m just excited to see u. If u still need time, plz don’t rush!! x

You took a deep breath, hands shaking as you lifted your phone to send a reply.

No rush at all! Just finished up actually, omw out now. x

Giving yourself a few spritzes of your favorite perfume and grabbing the small purse you’d prepared, you headed out of your apartment and down the stairs, heart racing in your chest when you spotted the bright red car Penelope said that she’d be driving. And she; Penelope was standing outside her car, looking almost as nervous as you. She had also chosen to wear a dress, hers colorful and hugged her in all the best places. Her glasses, adorably, you noted, matched her dress. She had cute little heels, and you realized just how much shorter than you she was, but you pushed those thoughts back.

When she caught sight of you, Penelope’s eyes widened, a small smirk playing at her lips. “Hot damn, (Y/N), I could climb you like a tree.” She grinned devilishly, then giggled adorably- it was addicting already, you realized -and outstretched a hand before a look you couldn’t quite read crossed her face, and she instead opened her arms for your embrace, which you accepted gladly. She was warm, and she smelled impossibly of peaches and sunshine. “You look so good, I’m the luckiest girl in Virginia, nay, the world, to have such a babe on my arm.” As she spoke, she took your arm in hers, beaming up at you. “My lady, your chariot awaits.” She said, putting on a silly voice and gesturing to her car. She hurried you over to the passenger side door, opening it for you before making her way to the driver’s side to climb in. “You alright, got enough room? Esther might be a bit old, but she still runs like a dream.” She gave the car’s dashboard a fond pat.

“Yeah, I’m alright, thank you.” You reply, smiling easily at her. All of your nerves you had before washed away, you felt safe, like everything was right in the world.

Penelope grinned brightly, resting her hand palm-up on the center console. “Great. Just wanna make sure you’re comfy.” Realizing that it was the reason she’d put it there, you took her hand, and she immediately linked your fingers together. With her left hand, she poked a button on the radio. “You like dad rock, right? The old stuff, not the divorced-dad stuff.” When you answered in the affirmative, she hummed happily. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.” She gave your hand a squeeze before heading off for the coffee shop.

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After your date, Penelope brought you back to your apartment building, and the two of you sat chatting for some time. Two o’clock had come and gone, and the sun was currently beginning to set.

“So you really work for the FBI? That has to be stressful.” You asked her, turned in the seat to face her.

Penelope toyed with your fingers, your hand in both of hers, a soft smile on her face. “Sometimes.” She replies with a shrug. “I don’t do a lot of the action-y stuff, that’s more for the rest of the team, but I like to think I’m the backbone of the team.” She teased, letting go with one hand to dramatically flip her hair over one shoulder, earning a soft laugh from you. “But no, I could never do the stuff they do…” She shuddered at the thought.

“And you can just… find anything out about anyone?” You offered, changing the subject. “And it’s all right there?”

“Yep!” She beamed proudly. “Anything your pretty little heart desires. And sometimes the stuff you would never wish to see, but I have ways of drowning that out.” Her shoulders raised in a light shrug before she chewed her lower lip, growing quiet.

“Penelope?” You whisper.

At her name from your lips, she glances over at you sheepishly. “I… I’m sorry, (Y/N), but I… I have to confess something to you.”

Your heart stopped, the nerves from earlier in the night returning to you. “Oh? Have… have I done something wrong?”

“No!” She says quickly, squeezing your hand comfortingly. “Nothing at all! I just… may or may not have used those skills to go on a deep dive…” Her eyes flit away, then meet your gaze again. “On you.”

You blink in surprise, trying to register what she’d said. “I- you…” After a moment, you offered a soft laugh. “I mean, on a technicality, I tried to do the same thing, all I found was your Instagram, though. Regular ol’ internet stalking, yknow?”

Her face lit up in relief. “Yes, exactly! Except, with my setup, I have… just a teeny bit more access than just Instagram.”

“Oh yeah?” You challenged. “Like what?”

She spoke quickly, citing off the information she’d clearly committed to memory. “Well, you were born September 2nd, 1979, two years after me, to Warren and Alice (L/N), your natural hair is blonde, you’ve dyed it seven times, according to your socials, love the one you’ve got now-” She reached out to twirl a curl around her finger gently. “-you’re near-sighted, just like me, but you rely on contacts because you don’t wear glasses, at least you don’t now-”

“Okay, okay!” You cut her off, laughing out loud. “You’re great at what you do, I get it.” You smiled fondly over at her.

“Oh, darling, I’m not great,” She started, quirking a brow. “I’m the best.” She grinned, and you returned it easily.

As you both made your way to your building’s main door, Penelope slipped her hand into yours. “I… I had a really great time today, (Y/N).”

You swung your hands as you walked, before stopping just in front of the door. “So did I… we’ll have to do this again, soon.”

“Soon?” Under the fluorescent streetlight, Penelope’s cheeks grew red. “I… I don’t usually get a second date, especially this soon-”

“Neither do I.” You interrupted, kissing her hand. “But I would be remiss to give up the opportunity of another wonderful night out with the elegant Penelope Garcia.”

Penelope laughed softly, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Tu es bien trop gentil avec moi.”

“Oh, she speaks French.” You pulled her closer, you were flush together now. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?”

A sharp gasp came from the shorter woman before you, and she giggled like mad as she gave you a noncommittal whack with her purse. “Not on the first date!” She stopped then, looking deep into your eyes, and reached up slowly on her tiptoes, face growing closer and closer to your own. You closed your eyes in anticipation, but she instead ducked to the left. “Mais pour le deuxiéme rendezvous, chérie, rien n’est interdit.” She whispered hotly in your ear. She pulled back slowly, pecking your cheek to the left of your lips before moving away and starting to walk away.

“You missed.”

Penelope stopped, turning back to you with a brow raised adorably. “I’m sorry?”

“You missed.” You repeated simply, heart racing as a devilish grin appeared on her lips before suddenly she was throwing herself at you, arms around your shoulders and your own snaked around her waist as you kissed her. Just as you’d expected, her kisses tasted just like she smelled- of peaches. It was intoxicating, her kiss, and you never wanted it to end. Which is why your heart sank slightly as she pulled away.

“Call me.” She said, voice low and sultry, and she shot you a cheeky wink. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Goodnight, Penelope.” You watched her off, waving as she drove from the lot, and you went upstairs to your apartment, flopping onto your bed with a heavy, blissful sigh. Penelope Garcia. That woman would be the death of you.

[bearskvlls]

I JUST FOUND OUT LADY PENELOPE IS SUPPOSED TO BE 26 EVEN IN TOS???????? SHE'S NOT A 40-YEAR-OLD GIRLBOSS WHO'S BEST FRIENDS WITH JEFF TRACY????????????? THEY DON'T FALL IN LOVE AT THE END????????? I'M SO CONFUSED............ 😭 after briefly sitting in shock (LMAO) i did a ton of frantic research and there are a lot of conflicting sources and ages, but APPARENTLY according to the Magical World of Gerry Anderson book, she's "an old friend of Jeff's from his Agency days", so. i'm sorry but as far as i'm concerned she is in her 40s and they're Appropriately Aged Adult Friends the way she's written in TOS feels so much more like she's an adult friend of jeff tracy's with history and inside jokes and motherly instinct/advice for the boys?? so this being said, please know that when i (eventually) draw her, it's always always always going to be 40-something!Penelope 😭 i promise i would not ship 56-year-old jeff tracy with someone in their 20s!!! thank you for coming to my Ted Talk :'^) (idk if anyone else feels this way too but if you do please lmk that i'm not alone dghjkfldhgfjkd)

[penelope-regulus]

Ok so we have Penelope and the male leads' birthday, age, height, weight, species, and favorite food (haven't forgotten we don't know Duke Eckhart, Evelyn Eckhart, or Judy's birthday, Callisto and Penelope's and Duke and Evelyn Eckhart's wedding anniversaries), but where their shoe sizes, foot widths, waist lengths, pant sizes, chest, hip, neck, hand, bicep, and thigh measurements, collar sizes, sleeve lengths, head circumferences, wrist circumferences, shoulder widths, shirt lengths, ring sizes, average body temps (ik Winter's is probably 150-something °F), resting heart rates, blood pressures, PAIs, blood oxygen levels, and hours slept, prescriptions, PDs, scents, DNA codes, genotypes, alcohol tolerances, number of glasses of water consumed a day, marital status after 40 for the other male leads, info on whether or not they wear socks, dermatologists, lip flavors, hobbies, dreams, favorite colors and genres, best memories, and info on how they spend their free time at?

*eyes sparkle*

[sea-owl]

Do you think the Bridgerton storylines and relationships would have been different if The Bridgertons weren't a titled family, or rich but the spouses were?

Weirdly had this thought after watching the latest Magic Mike movie 😅 that somehow led to me wondering about Bridgerton and the divide between the wealthy and poor.

Current thoughts: ok so let's go Modern Au, because icbf with the regency rules and proprietry.

Bridgertons are like Modern Au Weasley family/ Cheaper by the dozen vibes.

Simon: Still the son of a Duke, canon backstory with Anthony being his best mate. They met at a fancy boarding school but Ant was a scholarship kid. In attempt to escape his Aunt's matchmaking schemes, he propses a fake relationship with the waitress he'd just witnessed sucker punch a rowdy customer. Unaware of just how inevitable their meeting truly was.

Kate: known cold stone Heiress to her late Father's company. An active workaholic who is always triggered into fight mode by that 'Bridgerton bastard' who works for her good Friend Simon (cbf thinking of proper roles rn😂😅)

Sophie: After her dad died, she's surprised to learn he named her his official heir despite her illegitimacy and only left a stipend for her step family in his will. Forced to go into hiding after multiple murder attempts, she has a fateful encounter with a struggling art student and becomes his unwilling muse.

Penelope: The Featheringtons are high class old money folk, but Pen is desperate to escape the suffocating lifestyle she's been born into. She wants to branch out make a name for herself with her own hard done work to thank not some dead ancestors lucky gamble in investment and business. Thank the gods for the charming bartender who's become the listening ear she's desperately needed all her life.

Phillip: Mostly similar cannon backstory. Except the children are his brothers and they do indeed need a nanny. Eloise didn't even know what she applied for. All she knew was she'd get a free room(no dorm expenses) free food (no meal expenses) and no transport fees (uni was only a 40 minute walk!). What a deal, and it'll keep Anthony off her case about finances!! How hard of a babysitting job could it be?

As far as I got, but would love to hear if you or anyone else has any other thoughts to share or add 😁😁

Magic Mike, lmao. I should probably watch that series if it's giving people ideas. But yeah I do think it would definitley change some dynamics espcially since three, four if we count the tv series, of the spouses came from not okay money situations.

Saphne: So for this I can still see it going as a mutually beneficial fake relationship for both. Hear me out, sex historian Daphne. It's a newer field and newly graduated Daphne is working to help get it off the ground with social media, but she doesn't have much time due to her long hours as a waitress. In comes Simon, her brother's best friend, who allows her the chance to help boost her following. Everyone would be curious about Simon Basset's new boo, and Simon will get his aunt off his back about finding love. Anthony orinally doesn't want his sister in the limelight like that but he does eventually consent when Daphne starts pulling in numbers and can leave her waitress jobs where a bunch of creaps like to come. Oops they fell in love.

Kathony: I can see this going one of two ways, the first being something similar that anon wrote, or mistress Anthony. Anthony works with Simon in his law firm, with hopes to open up his own practice one day, but that's a far off dream with seven siblings, five who are helping with the bills, and a mother to help support. Kate's frustrated with her job as the heiress to her father's company. She's needs a release. That lawyer Simon keeps sending looks handsome enough and one hate sex night later Anthony is now Kate's mistress. There's no way this is gonna backfire on either of them right?

Benophie: Hear me out, makeup artist Benedict. His true talent lies in painting, but that doesn't pay the bills. He's good with a brush, and once in a while, he gets to have fun with special effects makeup. Sophie is being paraded around as the new Pennwood heiress, despite her suspicious birth. Her stepmother is doing everything in her power to have the media downplay Sophie and her ability to be the heiress to Pennwood by getting every makeup artist to purposely make Sophie look horrible. Having enough Sophie calls her friends for a makeup artist her stepmother hasn't sunk her claws in. Enter Benedict. Benedict works his magic and makes Sophie look fabulous for her next interview. Sophie has found her new makeup artist, and Benedict has found his new muse.

Polin: Penelope is from old money, and she hates it. She feels trapped and suffocating from all the rules she has to follow. She wants to leave and make something of her own. Her friend Colin, who she met in a writer's group, jokes she can write a tell all book. That earns him a sock in the arm from Penelope, who refuses to become a stereotype. Colin wants to see the world one day. Travel to far off places, explore the culture, and most importantly, try the food. Penelope thinks he has what it takes to be a travel writer. He's shared what he wrote when in his journal during the rare family outing to the beach, and it almost felt like you were there. Well Penelope has more money than she knows what to do with and knows about running a blog. She might not what to do with herself but she can help somebody else. Who knows maybe she'll get some inspiration. Hey Colin, how would you feel about a trip to the Mediterranean?

Philoise: Throw them in the plot of the Nanny, and there's the modern philoise au. But on a serious note, Eloise doesn't even know what she applied for, all she knew is that the benefits were perfect. Needing a nanny for the weekend, Phillip hires Eloise on a test run. Her methods are unconventional, but Oliver and Amanda haven't scared her off. Phillip would almost dare to say they like her, and Phillip might like her too.

And that's all I got for now too. Lovelies join in if you want!

[villainworshiper]

«Deadly Waltz»

>Lyutsifer Safin/Gn Reader

Dedicated to @crewman-penelope who encouraged this idea <3 and of course all the people who liked that early post, thanks!

--------------------  𐫱  --------------------

You heard distant music at the end of the hallway. You knew Safin used to play music to stimulate his plants, he treated them like his children and it showed in the vibrant color of each leaf that was born under the warm sun that caressed his garden every day.

Usually it was classical music but this time the theme was very different. Paying attention to certain lyrics you recognized a song from the 40's, you used to let it play in the background to better concentrate on your studies in the lab when the task was especially difficult and it didn't escape your attention when you heard it playing over the loudspeakers in the garden.

"I don't want to set the world on fire."

"I just want to start..a flame in your heart."

Without thinking you approached, still without descending the large steps but visible enough so the one who cared for his beloved plants would recognize your presence among the guards surrounding the area. He was arranging the leaves of one of his poisonous ones, it was taller than him and you were surprised how close he was without being afraid its roots would touch his face without any protection. You couldn't really argue with him since you knew much less than he did about botany so you let the warning you were about to exclaim aloud get stuck in your throat.

"I see you, come here." He said snapping you out of your trance.

You weren't sure about entering much less without protection of any kind but even before you could get up any courage to leave Lyutsifer made an appearance in front of you extending one of his hands once his gloves were discarded on the way. You didn't doubt him so now you were guided into the center of the garden by his warm hand.

"Dance with me."

He was a man of few words concise with his actions and thoughts his presence was the one that most communicated his way of imparting and directing others but something else was hidden, something that enchanted the moment you had him in front of you and you knew it because despite the fear he could instill in the lives of others no one was working for obligation in that place, he was a person who could easily guide you to the deepest rings of hell without you realizing it until you were on your knees in the mud, sinking.

You took his hand and he took yours, placed the remaining one on your back as you held his shoulder. You had danced this way before but with Lyutsifer you felt the nerves of an inexpert dumbass to make any mistake. He however placed his forehead against yours the moment you lowered your head and looked down at your feet not knowing what to do, nerves was not the feeling that could describe the closeness with that man, it was pure vertigo.

"Do not be afraid, I will guide you."

"I know how to dance.." You finally had the courage to speak in a soft voice, raising your face barely brushing the tip of your nose with Safin's.

His lips formed a small smile more like a thin curve that left an unsure feeling in your stomach not knowing if it was a genuine gesture of happiness or if he was uncovering your thoughts.

Another song began to play and your movements followed his, it was a slow waltz but very fluid. Your mind was focused on looking at a fixed point other than his eyes, those penetrating eyes that from the minute he saw you arrive never took off from your being as if you were a specimen worthy of admiration, the most beautiful plant in the place did not compare to how intense his gaze was on you and you knew that if you looked up you would feel things at the moment were hard to admit.

You were not only alert of his gaze but also the numerous natural species surrounding your body, Safin had taken you in the lightness of his dance to an area where his garden bloomed with such colors and shades never seen before, a peculiar kind of flower with an intense reddish at the base that ended in a white gradient kept your attention and if anything you could affirm that was engraved like fire in your memory was the moment he told you, "The most striking flowers are the most dangerous."

You felt your heart stop in your chest as one of these plants caressed your leg when you passed by, for inertia you attached your body towards Lyutsifer's looking for safety he instead seemed to hold a low chuckle as he caressed your lower back.

"Its poison has no effect unless with your bare skin."

Even as he said it you were not reassured to accidentally brush against any of the surrounding leaves again and the further away you were from them more attached your body was to Lyutsifer who didn't seem uneasy having your face against his shoulder.

"I would never kill you, not right now darling. I would die along in your arms if that happend."

Those words made you look up finding a confident look in what he was saying, minutes before you were frozen with fear now your pulse was racing so fast that you could barely concentrate on your steps because of your nerves. Safin was not a lying person if there was anyone more honest in this world you would love to meet them because didn't fit in your head that anyone was more honest than him and those words sounded like pure truth, an intense declaration of something you didn't expect to be mutual.

With his body he guided you to another area of the garden, with a gentle gesture he leaned your body back for you to trust into his arms the classic position of a dancing couple where you let yourself fall, without hesitation you put all your weight on him who leaned you until your face was under another very beautiful flower.

"Go on, smell it."

And you did, that was the richest perfume ever entered your system that flower possessed a sweetness mixed with an intense itch that didn't quite burn your nose but left it tingling as Safin took you up again, standing face to face he waited for your response.

"I really liked that flower."

"It always reminds me of you."

Your gesture of confusion was enough to elicit a brief chuckle this time.

"Sweet with a mysterious itch that's hard to spot the first time."

"And it's poisonous?"

"Not if treated with care."

There at those words you understood something, maybe he knew more about you than you thought. You also understood that not only was your interest so obvious but that he himself from afar had noticed it and was waiting for the right moment to reveal he felt the same.

There into a poisonous garden continued this deadly dance among the reeds, you lost track of how long you danced with him that day it was very easy to get lost in the calmness of his voice when he spoke, you calmed yourself with the vibrations of his chest were you rested your head closing your eyes. Having confessed those things nothing else mattered around, you just wanted to share moments like this because now your heart was truly intoxicated with fervor by his presence.

[taraljc]

I ended up reading all the Lockwood & Co novels, am waiting on Corgi editions to reread, and am trying to figure out what happened to Tom Rotwell. Did we ever find out anything apart from Marissa and Tom fell out, and his adult son grandson currently runs his agency?

ETA: I have a lot of questions about the timeline.

SPOILERS FOR ALL 5 NOVELS AHEAD!

I know the TV show is set a decade after the books and in the books Fittes and Rotwells first case The Mud Lane Phantom was in 1962, and Marissa died at age 40. But where is Tom's gigantic tomb and statue? Or did Marissa bury him literally and figuratively?

If they fell out only 5 years later in 1967, he still would have been all of 20 or so when he founded Rotwells. Yet Steve is greying when he first appears in book 3--and it's implied that the gate he created under the department store was his first, so he can't be rapidly aging the way Marissa did.

And who was Grace Peel, and how did she die? Was she really a martyr? Or was she just another person ground up and spit out by Fittes' ambitions?

Why did Tom and Marissa fall out? What's the real story there? Did he know when they first teamed up that Marissa was in fact the source of The Problem? Because it's not as if Marissa Fittes is a reliable narrator.

All we know is they both died young--and Marissa died in her 40s, prematurely aged by her trips to the Other Side. But did Tom know Marissa was in fact possessing her own granddaughters body, and had murdered her own adult daughter? Did Steve Rotwell even know anything about that, when he planned the attack at the Chelsea carnival?

What actually happened to Penelope Fittes soul? Was her consciousness suppressed, or was she completely ousted? How did Marissa even know how to possess a living body? What actually is Ezekiel? Could Tom see him with his Sight?

For that matter why is it that Talent fades? Is it physiological, or something else? Because one way to keep control of The Problem is definitely to limit who can see Visitors to children (who are presumably malleable and also immediately distrusted by adults).

Clearly Marissa Fittes never lost her Talent, so does that mean Lucy won't either? Does it have something to do with prolonged exposure to Type Three Visitors? Or is it like how due to the way our inner ears grow, there are high frequencies that even at high decibels people over 25 can't hear?

I'm just full of a zillion questions about who knew what and when, and how. Who started Sunrise? How does Tom fit in with the Orpheus Society? Who founded it?

I'm going to end up writing a novella. *facepalm*

EMETA: I should stress that me having a zillion questions in no way is this a criticism of Stroud. In fact, it's more likely a consequence of the books being written first person from future Lucy's point of view, and therefore the readers are limited to what she experiences and learns. I suspect that if the books had been from George's point of view, we would know way more about everything that happened from 1962 to 2017 before the first book, rather than little hints here and there because George is 300% all about the problem with like 5% of his consciousness reserved for Flo.