#5 hours later he's gripping the sink white-knuckled staring into the mirror

[themichaelvan]

small hc that michael tends to do jazz hands (sarcastic & genuinely), a mannerism he unconsciously adopted from his dad

[americancowgirl19]

Expendable

Summary: Consumed by your grief over Jason’s death, you track down the Joker on your own. Only you end up finding some... thing very different.

Warnings: vampires, violence, depression, fluff, angst

Reader: Female Reader

Pairings: Dick Grayson x Reader (Platonic), Jason Todd x Reader (Platonic), Tim Drake x Reader (Platonic)

Word Count: 6,113

A/n: Enjoy

Masterlist

You heaved heavily hunched over the bathroom sink. Your fingers grip the edge of the counter top, knuckles turning white. Your eyes are screwed shut as you try not fall apart for the millionth time that week.

It’s only been a month since Jason died and you felt as if you saw his freshly dead body a few hours ago. Your dreams are riddled with nightmares. You can’t even escape the thoughts while awake.

All you can think about is Jason’s beaten and burned body. You can hear the Jokers mocking laugh when you and Batman found him after Jason’s death. Bruce refused to kill him and stopped you from doing it yourself. Batman turned him into Arkham and like everyone could predict, the pale bastard escaped.

Slowly, your eyes open. You look at yourself in the mirror. You try to push back the tears as visions of Jason plague your mind. 

You were Bruce’s daughter. You were a few years younger than Dick but a few years older than Jason. You and Dick had a rocky friendship the first couple of years but you managed to work it out. With Jason, however, the connection was instant.

The both of you had tempers. Tempers which the other knew how to calm. The two of you just had an understanding. You became close quickly. 

You didn’t want to believe that Jason was dead. You didn’t want to believe that Bruce just let Joke get away with it. You wanted your brother back, you wanted Bruce to avenge him.

“I’m sorry, Jason,” You whisper. You wished you could have been there to save Jason. If only you had gotten to him sooner. Just 5 minutes would have made all the difference.

Your anger bubbles up to the surface all at once and before you know it, your punching the mirror until it’s all broken in the bathroom sink. Ignoring the stinging pain in your hand, you march out of the bathroom.

You storm out of your room and head toward the Batcave. You didn’t have to worry about running into your father. He’s either hiding in his room or out capturing other bad guys that have nothing to do with Jason’s death. Because apparently everyone else mattered while you, Dick and Jason were expendable.

Not to you, however. Your brothers were not expendable to you. They’re your world and the fact that you couldn’t protect Jason killed you. If Bruce wasn’t going to avenge him then that responsibility fell onto you.

You changed into your Sparrow uniform. By the time your pulling your mask on and making your way to your motorcycle, Alfred is entering the cave. You ignore him but he isn’t a man you can just ignore.

“Ms. Y/n?” He questions. You adjust your getup and swing your leg over the bike. Before you can turn the bike on, the man you’re closer to than your own father appears before you. “Where are you going?”

“Out,” You answer. He gives you a look but you don’t back down.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” He advises.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not asking for permission,” You snap. “Why don’t you go tend to daddy dearest and let me do what needs to be done?” Alfred looks even more concerned as you turn the bike on. You don’t allow yourself to feel guilty for being rude to Alfred. You have to stay focused.

You speed away from the manor and toward Gotham City. The Joker could be in a number of places but you knew who to ask to narrow down his location.

Before Jason’s death, you weren’t as ruthless as you were now. You were a happy medium between Bruce’s temperament and Jason’s. But now, you didn’t even recognize yourself anymore. 

You wanted blood.

You interrogated bad guy after bad guy. You left each of them in the streets, inches from death like the scum they were. You felt no sympathy for them as they struggled to breathe. You ignored their pleas for mercy and for help as you walked to your bike to find your next target.

You were so consumed on what you were doing and your goal to find the Joker that you didn’t realize you were being watched. And Bruce wasn’t the one stalking you.

“Where’s the Joker?!” You shouted before slamming your fist into the guys face. “Tell me!” You screamed. He grunted when you resorted to breaking his rips with your foot. You kicked him before he rolled onto his back prompting you to switch to stomping on his chest.

“Oh, you poor child,” A voice sounded from the shadows. In an instant, you whip the gun you had stolen out of the thigh holster and point it into the dark blindly.

“Show yourself,” You demand. You listen to the steps before a tall man comes into the moonlight. “Who are you?” You ask.

“Someone who can help you,” Your head tilts. “You can put that gun away, it cannot harm me.” He states.

“Who. Are. You?” 

“As I said, I’m someone who can help,” He says, sauntering closer to you. Your eyes narrow at him. “I know where the Joker is, I can take you to him,”

“Where is he?”

“I’ll tell you, but that information isn’t free,” He shakes his head.

“Tell me or you’ll end up like this deadbeat,” You motion to the man on the ground that’s slowly choking on his own blood. The man in front of you looks at him and smirks.

“You surely have potential... and you certainly have anger. Oh, so much anger,” He whispers coming forward. “You live on the need for vengeance. I can give it to you and so much more. All I want is to make a deal,”

“What kind of deal?” You ask, tilting your head. 

“I give you the Joker, and you give me your allegiance,” He says, stepping up to the end of the barrel of the gun. If you pull the trigger, the bullet goes straight through his heart.

“My allegiance?” You ask, slowly.

“You get the chance to finally sate your need for vengeance and you work for me.”

You stare into his eyes for a few moments before lowering your gun to the holster. He smirks and scoops you into his arms. Before you can ask a question he’s running at a speed that could outmatch the Flash.

“What the fuck?” You gasp when he comes to a stop and sets you down. “You’re a metahuman?”

“Not exactly,” He smirks. “I’ll explain everything once you’re finished. Inside is the Joker along with a lot of his friends. If you survive, you’ll be an excellent addition to my collection,” He states, prior to running off.

“Who the fuck is that guy?” You mutter to yourself. Sighing, you turn towards the building. A moment later, people start coming out. Large men in suits. They stop and look at you. A few draw their weapons. You smirk. “Who’s first?”

It took you a half an hour to reach the Joker. You’re not sure if you killed anyone, although it’s highly likely that you have. By the time you reach the pale skin fucker you’re covered in blood and bruises (maybe a bullet hole or two). Some of the blood is yours but most of it isn’t.

The Joker talks. He’s taunting you. Yet, you don’t really hear what he says. As you look at him, your mind is filled with images of Jason’s dead body. You stalk closer to him. 

You put your weapons away and pick up the crowbar you had found on a lower level. You had set it down in order to take care of the goons in the room quickly. 

But now you had the Joker right where you wanted him. You weren’t going to make this quick. Every time you brought the crowbar down on him, he only cackled loudly. Every strike just fueled your anger. 

You continued to beat him. At some point, his skull caved in but you continued to swing. You scream, tears falling down your face but you hardly notice. You just swing and swing until you collapse on the ground.

You let out one large, loud scream that echoes throughout the entire building. When you quiet down, your body curls into a tight ball and you begin to sob.

“Easy now, little one,” The inhuman man whispers, kneeling before you. “I’ll take your pain away,” He promises, picking you off the ground. “Rest now, I’ll look after you,” He whispers, racing you out of the building seconds before Batman shows up.

You don’t know how long you’re asleep, but when you wake up everything is different. You sit up from the unusually comfortable bed and look around. You don’t recognize where you are but at the moment it’s the least of your worries.

You never had absolutely perfect vision but now you’re eyes were acting like binoculars. You could see a far distance out the window and everything in clear detail that’s around you. Hell, you could even hear the cars going down the road miles from the house you’re in.

You move closer to the window but stop at the sound of the man who had taken you. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” You spin around toward him. You frown your eyebrows and look back to the window. You didn’t understand what he was warning you about. 

You soon find out when you step into the sunlight and find your skin heating up until it begins to burn. You gasp and speed to the other side of the room.

“What’s happening to me?” You whisper, watching your skin begin to blister. 

“Here, drink this,” He tosses you a bag. Your reflexes catch it. You want to ask what it is but your instincts take over as the smell reaches your nose. Within a minute, you have the bag drained of it’s liquid. 

When your done drinking, you look at the man. He nods to your arm and your eyes widen. You see your arm heal until there’s no trace of what had happened.

“Come, we have a lot to talk about,” You follow him down the hall. “My name is Vladimir but you may know me as Dracula,”

“Dracula?” You deadpan. “For real?”

“What? You do not believe that vampires are real? Even though you are one?” You stop walking. He stops as well and turns to you. “You are the daughter of Bruce Wayne, The Batman, you should be able to connect the dots,”

The blood, the enhanced senses, the vulnerability to light. You didn’t know how it was possible, but it was true. You were a vampire. You had made a deal with the devil... But oh, was it worth it.

****

“Whe-where am I?” A pale, redhead whimpers.

“Vicki Vale,” You state from the shadows. Your voice echoes off the walls making it impossible for her to pinpoint where you are. “So, you’re the one that’s obsessed with my father,” You growled. For a long time, the woman in front of you reported on both Bruce Wayne and Batman. She wrote article after article about him.

“Who are you?” She asks, in a shaky voice.

“Oh don’t worry, it’s not me you have to worry about,” You assure her, a smirk dancing on your lips.

“Alright, Y/n, that’s enough,” Vlad says coming into the room. Vicki gasps and turns to him. “Oh, you are beautiful,” Vlad whispers. “You will work perfectly,”

“Wh-what?” She whimpers, shying away from him.

“Y/n, leave Vicki to rest in peace, we have things to discuss,” Vlad calmly orders before turning to leave the room. You come out of the shadows, smirking when you startle her.

“So, she’ll work?” You ask him, the two of you walking toward his office.

“Yes, but we must move quickly. Your father and brother are causing trouble,” He tells you. Your head tilts at the information.

“They’ve killed more of your vampires?” You ask him.

“They found a way to cure them,” Vlad corrects you. “I need you to end them. I can’t afford to lose anymore vampires and I will not let them stop me from bringing Carmilla back,” He growls.

“Don’t worry, master, I’ll stop them,” You promise.

“I don’t want you to just stop them,” Vlad says, moving closer to you. “I want them dead and I want you to bring me their bodies. Do not fail me,” He growls.

“Have I ever?” You ask, smirking.

“Be quick about it,” Vlad orders. “The sun will be up in a few hours,”

****

“Viki Vale has gone missing,” Bruce informs Dick and Tim as he enters the Batcave. 

“Dracula?” Dick asks, crossing his arms in his Nightwing costume. His mask resting on the desk by Tim.

“He’s planning something. More and more people are being turned, we have to stop him before we’re too outnumbered.” Bruce says.

“Reports are coming in about a string of animal like murders in the Narrows. Fits vampire descriptions,” Tim says, reading the reports off the computer.

“Can you get a read on how many vampires there could be?” Dick asks.

“Doesn’t seem like a lot,” Tim mutters. “One, possibly two,”

“Let’s check it out,” Bruce orders. Tim nods standing up. He and Dick pull their masks on. Tim and Bruce get in the batmobile while Duke powers up the motorcycle. They both drive to the Narrows to investigate.

****

You hide in the shadows as the infamous Batman, Robin and Nightwing appear. You glare at the young Robin boy. Of course Bruce replaced Jason. It was typical for Bruce to replace someone. Fury fills your heart but you manage to control it knowing that if you waited a little longer, you would get the opportunity to unleash hell.

You didn’t want to hurt Dick. He’s your brother. But you didn’t have a choice. Vlad ordered you to kill them and that’s what you had to do. You wouldn’t necessarily take pleasure in killing your father and his newest protégé. However, you hoped that with Bruce’s death you would finally feel at peace with yourself.

You killed the Joker but your anger remained. You killed Jason’s bitch of a mother yet storm within you continued to rage. Maybe with the death of Batman you would finally know peace and tranquility. You didn’t blame Bruce for Jason’s death but you hated that he didn’t avenge him. You hated that he replaced him. That hatred mixed with your growing anger consumed you.

“This one’s still alive,” Dick announced, kneeling beside a woman. Bruce moved to kneel beside him while Tim wandered off. You smirked and followed him. You made some noise to draw him further from the others.

“You’re the new Robin, hmm?” You asked. Tim looked around. Technically, Tim wasn’t new. He had been at this for a couple of years now but you aren’t exactly up to date on the world around you. You’ve been training and isolated from the world for a long time. So, while Tim isn’t exactly new, he’s new to you.

He took a defensive stance but it wouldn’t do any good against you. You could kill him with a flick of your finger.

“We can help you,” Tim says, his eyes searching for you. “You don’t have to do this, you don’t have to be a vampire,”

“Oh, but I want to be,” You smirk, walking around him but continued to stay out of sight. Tim looks confused by your statement.

“We have a cure,” Tim states. You sneak up behind him.

“I don’t want it,” You whisper, in his ear. By the time he spins around, you’re out of sight. You grin, loving the sound of his heart hammering in his chest. “Tell me, what do you know about the Robin before you?”

“What?” Tim asks, tensing.

“You’re not Jason Todd,” You growl. Tim becomes increasingly more nervous. “So, may I know the name of his replacement?” You spit. He doesn’t answer you. “Fine, don’t answer, doesn’t matter anyway,” 

Tim tenses as things fall eerily silent. He goes to fall for back up but before he can finish the first syllable he’s lifted off the ground. You hand becomes tighter and tighter around his throat.

“You’re not Jason and you will never be him,” You growl, glaring at him. Tim choke, gripping your wrist but your grip doesn’t falter. His eyes widen a fraction as he recognizes you.

All throughout the mansion there’s picture of you. Dick talks about you all the time. He knows who you are but he can’t believe it. Bruce assumed you were dead, Dick insisted you were just missing. For nearly 7 years Dick worked to find you. Almost every spare moment went into finding some clue about you but you had vanished. 

“If you were,” You smirked. “You would have been able to take me down... You’re pathetic... Weak,” You bring him closer to your face. He struggles to breathe, looking even more terrified when your fangs extend. “And I’m so hungry,” 

Before you can feed on him, you’re knocked to the ground. You let Tim go as you tumble away. The boy collapses on the ground, coughing and struggling to breath in.

“Has anyone ever told you not to get between a vampire and her meal?” You growled, standing up. You turn to the man who had tackled you and smirked. There, only two feet away, is your older brother.

“Y/n,” Dick whispers, his defenses falling.

“Hey, big brother,” You wink. You take advantage of his astonishment and attack. You don’t even realize it but you’re holing back. You’re not going as fast as you could nor are you striking with all your strength. Hell, you’re barely hitting him with 20% power.

“Y/n! Stop! This isn’t you!” Dick shouts but you don’t listen to him. You grab his shoulders and fling him into a nearby wall. He collapses and struggles to breath.

“I’m not you’re little sister, anymore Dickie Poo,” You say, stalking up to him. “And all you are to me is a meal,”

“Then why haven’t you killed me yet?” Dick groaned pushing himself up. You freeze for just a moment but Dick notices it.

“What can I say? I’ve always liked playing with my food,” You growled, trying to cover up your hesitance.

“You’ve always been a shit liar, sis,” Dick teases. You hiss as he stands. “You’ll always be my baby sister, you’re just more of a pain in my ass right now,” He smirks putting up his hands. “And you hit like a bitch,”

Crying out, you attack Dick once again. This time you hold back even less but you’re still not aiming to kill him. It angers you as you hear Vlad’s comment in the back of your mind. Your vampiric instincts are fighting against your humanity. 

Just when you’re about to give into your inclination to follow your masters orders a batarang sinks into your arm. It snaps you out of your instinctual daze. You look at it before following it’s path. You’re eyes land on Batman. For the first time in years you stare into your fathers eyes.

Before anything can happen, something catches your attention. You turn your head and watch the sun begin to peak over the buildings. You’re out of time.

“Wait!” Dick shouts reaching for you but you’re already gone.

****

You stand in front of Vlad for a solid five minutes. Five minutes of absolute silence. Intense, awkward, silence. You barely have the strength to hold his gaze for these few minutes but know if you look away you’ll look weak.

“I told you not to fail me,” Vlad tells you.

“I underestimated the skill of-”

��You’re a vampire!” Vlad shouts. It takes everything in you to not flinch. “You have the strength of a hundred men! I could possibly forgive you not being able to defeat your father, I failed that as well. However, you couldn’t kill an 18 year-old boy? Or your older brother?” Vlad asks, walking toward you.

“My humanity got in the way,” Vlad backhands you harshly.

“Your humanity,” Vlad says slowly. “For 6 year I’ve been working so hard to perfect you and yet here you are, a disappointment.” He spits.

“I’ll make it up to you,” You promise.

“You will,” Vlad nods, walking back to his seat. “And if you fail me again. I will rip your heart out,” You bow to him. “Wait for my word in your room,”

“Yes, master,” 

****

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Tim asks, his voice horas. You had bruise his throat pretty good. It was a miracle he was able to talk at all at the moment.

“If anyone is going to get through to her, it’s him,” Dick assures him. Tim presses his lips together and follows his brother into the worn down building.

“How do we know he’ll even help?” Tim wonders.

“Because it’s Y/n,” Dick answers simply. Tim glances at him but says nothing else.

“You’ve got a lot of balls to come here, Dick,” Tim and Dick spin around to face Red Hood. Tim is in a defensive stance remembering the last time they had crossed paths. Red Hood and him fought, Tim barely escaping hospital time.

“Relax,” Dick mutters to Tim.

“What are you doing here, Dick?” He asks, looking around for Batman.

“Bruce isn’t here... It’s just us,” Dick assures him. They stare at each other for a moment before he takes off his red mask. “Jason,” Dick nods. Jason ignores the greeting and walks around them to get to his stuff. “Y/n’s alive,” Jason freezes completely. “We saw her a few hours ago,”

“Where?” Jason asks, keeping his back to them.

“Have you come across any vampires?” Dick asks. Jason turns to them.

“They’ve been crawling around town like cockroaches,” Jason says.

“Y/n’s one of them,” Dick tells him. “She attacked us a few hours ago. She tried to kill us but didn’t follow through.”

“We think that she still has some humanity left,” Tim says.

“I know she’s still in there.” Dick insists. “She could have very easily killed Tim and I but she held back,” Jason looks at the bruise around Tim’s throat. 

“She still mourns you,” Tim tells him. “If she knew you were alive, maybe we can get her back. If we can get her back to the mansion, we can cure her,”

****

“Everything is in place,” Vlad says. You stand in the background watching him. On the tables in the middle of the room lay two women. One is Vlad’s beloved Carmilla. The other is Viki Vale. The plan was to transfer Viki’s life essence into Carmilla to bring her back to life.

“Master,” A newly turned vampire interrupts. Vlad turns to her. “Batman, Robin and Nightwing have arrived.” Vlad snarls and turns to you.

“They must not stop the transference,” Vlad tells you.

“I will kill them once and for all master,” You vow.

“Kill the Batman, capture Robin and Nightwing. Take them to my office and keep them there,” Vlad orders. You tilt your head but nod.

“As you wish,” You bow and exit the room. You hunt down the three men but only find two of them; Dick and Tim. “I see your stubbornness has only increased with age,” You state standing at one end of the hall while they stand on the other. They look a little worn down but you can tell they still have plenty of energy.

“Guess I spent too much time around you as kids,” Dick shrugs, twirling his batons. 

“You should have stayed away,” You tell them, cursing yourself for how soft your voice had gotten. Your humanity, yet again, was showing. You pushed it back and locked it in a box but the little slip up was enough to confirm to both Dick and Tim that you could still be saved.

“You’ve been gone a long time, little sister,” Dick states. “It’s time to bring you home,”

“This is home,” You hiss. Dick shakes his head.

“This is a prison,” Dick corrects you. You smirk.

“You once said the same about Wayne Manor,” You remind him. You stare at him and your eyes flicker to Tim. “Join me,” You suggest. “We can give you the power you can only dream of,” You say, stepping closer to him. “We can be a family again,” You whisper, your humanity coming up once more. You allow it, for now.

“We can be a family,” Dick agrees. You perk slightly. “When you’re cured and back at the Manor,” Your face turns sour.

“Fuck the Manor,” You spat. “Fuck Bruce and Fuck Batman,” You hiss. “You think he cares?”

“He does!” Tim snaps. You laugh.

“Where did he pick you up from?” You ask Tim. “You must have a past. Bruce never takes in anybody mentally stable,”

“We’re not talking about that right now,” Dick cuts in. “If you don’t want to go to the manor, fine. Come with me,” Dick suggests. “I have an apartment in Bludhaven. You can stay with me... It’ll be like old times,” You’re so tempted to give in.

“I can’t,” You shake your head. “This is who I am now, this is where I belong,”

“No, you belong with us,” Dick insists.

“I haven’t belonged with you in years,” You mutter but he hears it. “I’m happy to see you alive, Dick... But you really should have stayed away,” You said, your voice hardening.

“We don’t have to do this,” Dick says. He and Tim fall into a defensive stance.

“I won’t go back,” You tell him. “Not with you, not with him and certainly not with Bruce,” You growl. “Why can’t you see that you’re not worth anything to him! All you are is an expendable tool! He’ll just replace you when you’re done being useful to him,”

“That’s a lie!” Tim shouts.

“Oh really?” You ask. “Then why are you standing here? Tell me, how long did he wait to replace Jason with you?” You wonder. “You’re nothing to him and when you die, he’ll move on like he always does and not give you a second thought!”

“You’re head is twisted, Y/n! You’re blinded by hatred and anger and grief, let us help you!” Dick pleads.

“No, I don’t need your help,” You growl racing toward them. Tim and Dick put up a good fight but you were done letting your humanity control you. Before they could pull any fancy tricks like they used to stop the other vampires, you knocked them out cold. Grabbing them by their collars you drag them to Vlad’s office. You lock them inside before hunting down your father.

You find him in the transference room fighting Vlad. You quickly join your master. With the both of you fighting against Batman, you’re beginning to overpower him. Until he uses a UV light which causes you and Vlad to scream in pain. When it’s gone, you slowly begin to heal.

“No! No! No!” Vlad screams seeing Vicki has disappeared before the transference  could complete. “NO!” You force yourself to a stand. You gasp when Vlad appears before you and grabs you by the throat. You struggle against him but he’s a great deal stronger than you. “I told you to kill him!” He snarls. You try to talk but he’s crushing your windpipe. “You’ve failed me for the last time,” He goes to rip your heart out when he’s pull away from you.

You fall to the ground and shake the dizziness from your head. You look up and see a grappling hook in Vlad’s chest. A man by the door holds the string and continues to pull Vlad from you until he gets his footing and yanks the man to him. You watch as Vlad throws him across the room.

“You vigilantes are a disease,” Vlad growls stalking toward him. You force yourself to stand. You feel your thirst begin to rise as your healing completes. 

Fresh blood gains your attention. You turn to the door seeing Dick and Tim at the entrance. You figured you had the guy in the red mask to thank for their escape

“Ah, look at this,” Vlad claps his hands. “A family reunion,” The red mask guy pushes himself up, grimacing at the pain in his back. “If you want another chance to live, Y/n,” Vlad turns toward you. “I want you to kill your brothers,”

You turn to Dick and Tim. They’re eyeing you as you eye them. The human voice in your head gets smaller and smaller as your animal instincts and need for blood overcome you.

“Kill them,” Vlad orders. Unable to fight his order, you advance to Dick. You stop when a clunk of stone is throne at your head. It doesn’t hurt you but it gets your attention. Your head snaps to the red mask guy with a growl.

“You on your period or something sis?” Your entire body freezes at the sound of his voice. No, it’s not possible. “You know how you get during that time of the month... I swear you turn into a fucking gremlin,” He raises his hands and takes the mask off. “Or, I guess, in this case a vampire,” Jason smirks.

“No,” You whisper shaking your head. “It’s not possible... You... you’re dead,”

“Didn’t stick,” He shrugs with that arrogant smirk of his. “Amazing what a Lazarus pit can do, huh?” Your breath hitches in your throat. It was possible.

“Y/n,” Vlad says regaining your attention instantly. “Kill. Them.” Your humanity vanished. With a hiss, you turn to attack Jason when Dick’s voice reaches your ears.

“You’re not expendable,” Dick states. You don’t look at him but it’s obvious you’re listening. “You mean so much more to us. We’re here for you and we’re not leaving without you. You’re one of us, not this creature he’s turned you in,”

“You know how much I hate agree with Dickwad,” Jason chuckles. “But on this, I do. Look, we’ve both changed over the years and that’s fine but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re brothers and you’re our sister. You went against father and killed the Joker for me. You beat the shit out of that one girl that cheated on Dick. You’ve stood up against Bruce for both of us on more than one occasion. You’ve always been there but now we’re here for you. It’s time to come home. Come with us,”

“Kill them!” Vlad shouts. Your eyes screw shut as you struggle between obeying Vlad and listening to your brothers. Realization hits Tim like a freight train.

“Don’t listen to him!” Tim encourages you. It finally made sense. All the vampires they came across were unnaturally loyal to Dracula. It was like they had forgotten their human lives and followed him. He figured it was just instinct but it was something more than that. Vampires were connected to their creator, Dracula, on a level they had severely underestimated. Tim theorized that Dracula had gotten to you, changed you, and manipulated/forced you to follow him. You had to follow his orders but that didn’t mean you wanted to.

You showed multiple signs of humanity. Dick and Jason were you’re anchors to your human side. If you could fight against Dracula’s orders then you could sever the connection. If that happened, getting you back to the manor and cured would be much easier.

“He’s the one who doesn’t care! He’s the one who believes you’re expendable, not us! We care about you, we’ll help you but you have to break his hold over you!” Tim said as clearly but as quickly as he could.

“Shut up!” Vlad shouted turning toward him. Before he could attack, Jason launches a wooden stake at him. It doesn’t kill him but it knocks them to the ground. “Kill them, Y/n! Kill them right now!”

You groan. Your hands grip your hair and begin to pull. You felt as if your head was being torn apart. You fall to your knees. A large part of you wanted to kill them, needed to kill them. Yet a big enough part of you didn’t.

“Y/n,” Jason says, softly. He slowly knelt a few feet in front of you. 

“Kill me,” You whimper, looking into his eyes. “I can’t hold myself back for long,”

“You can,” Jason encourages you. “You’re not going to hurt me, Dick or Tiny Tim,” Tim scowls but remains silent. “You’re Y/n Y/L/N. You were turned when you were 18 years old but you’re 24. You’re favorite food is y/f/f and your favorite show is y/f/s. You always let me sneak into your room if I was having trouble sleeping and you always helped me through the bad days just like I did for you. We look after each other, we have since we met each other. That didn’t stop when I died and it isn’t going to stop since you’re a vampire,”

In the corner of your eye you see Dick and Tim going to end Vlad. Something within you snaps. You snarl and before you know it you’re protecting your master. Before you can reach Dick and Tim, something pierces your shoulder. You look down to see a similar grappling hook hooked into you.

You gasp as Jason yank you back. You snarl and struggle but Jason is able to fight against you allowing Dick and Tim to destroy your master.

“No! NO!” You scream. The pain of your bond to Dracula is excoriating. You scream and writhe on the ground.

“It’s alright sis,” Jason whispers, knocking you out with a special tool they used on all the other vampires. “You’re safe now,” He whispers picking you up. “How do we cure her?”

“We have a serum at the manor,” Tim says,

“Bring it to my place,” Jason ordered. Tim goes to argue but Dick lays a hand on his shoulder. Dick nods and Jason nods back.

****

When you wake up you have the worst hangover known to man. You groan, your hand slapping your forehead. You try to think about what could have given you this feeling but you get nothing. Until everything comes rushing back to you a minute later.

All the killings, Dracula and the whole vampire ordeal hardly phases you. What makes your heart quench is the man you saw before you passed out.

“Jason!” You cry out, sitting up quickly. The motion causes you to groan again.

“Easy, easy,” You’re gently pushed back onto the bed. “Welcome back to the land of the living,” Opening your eyes, you look at Jason. You really look at him. He still has that spark, that anger in his eyes but there’s also relief and happiness. You lift your hand and gently caress his face. He leans into your touch.

“You’re real,” You whisper.

“Yeah, I’m real,” He whispers, tears coming to his eyes. “I thought I lost you there for a second,” He laughs.

“I did lose you,” You whimper. 

“I know, I’m so sorry,” Jason gently pushes you over and climbs into the bed. You instantly hug him with all your might. “I’m here now and I won’t be leaving your side for a damn long time,”

“You saved me,” You whisper. “You, Dick and Tim,” You whimper the tears coming down your face.

“You just got a little lost for a while,” Jason muttered. “You would do the same if any one of us was in your position,” You nod, snuggling into his chest. He rubs circles into your back. “Everything’s going to be ok, now... You’re cured, Dracula’s dead and you’re with me,”

“Can I stay with you?” You whisper, looking up at him.

“I thought I told you that you weren’t leaving my side for a long time,” Jason smirks. “We have 6 years to catch up on and I need my big sis to keep my head on straight,”

“I need you too, Jason...” You whisper. “God, do I need you,” You snuggle back into his chest. He kisses the top of your head and holds you even tighter. “I was so lost without you,”

“Shh.. You don’t have to worry about living without me again,” Jason promises.

“Good... Because next time, you die I die,” Jason smirks.

“We’re going to be one kick ass team,” Jason mutters. You grin closing your eyes. The both of you got the first real sleep you had since Jason died.

[xans-ex]

Otherside (Pt. 2)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Different Dimension/Alternate Universe. Heavy angst, smut, and fluff throughout multiple parts.

Word Count: 4254 words

Chapters-

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

*WARNING- Strong Language, Explicit Sex(Not in this chapter), Explicit Sex Talk/References(Not in this chapter), Violence, Talks of Violence*

This is the second part to the story :) I will include a little of the first chapter in the beginning just with how the second chapter starts, so bare with me ya'll. Also fun fact, when I write I usually find a song that overall gives me the vibes for the story, and the song that helped me write these two chapters is Sextape by Deftones :) Give it a listen-

Jungkook watched as the figure turned back around and ran across the other room and into the room on top that he knew gave stairs to the building. He was stuck. Now here bleeding out only to be given to police. This is it.

You stared at the screen in disbelief. There was no way this was how your brother was going to end this chapter. No fuckin way. You looked around in confusion before your eyes fell on the pencil in its holder. You wondered if you should erase it. Then when your brother hopefully comes back, you can tell him that the police accidentally wiped it and then later on convince him to have a different ending. Yeah...That would work. You grabbed the pencil, the thick handle sitting comfortably between your fingers. You hit the eraser icon and as soon as the pencil tip hit the screen, you felt warmth.

Almost like you were sucked into a hot room. A sauna, but without the humidity. It was bright for only a second, and then it was dark. You blinked slowly, your head pulsing. "Ow..what the fuck..." You groaned as you rubbed your temples. Your hands started to lift you from the ground, and you paused as you felt the feeling of concrete and small pieces of rocks. You looked up, the wind blowing your hair as you looked around. You slowly stood up, your eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinting from the lingering headache. You froze.

The city. How? You...You were just in your brother's room. At your parent's house. In the countryside. Did you never leave your studio apartment? But why were you on the roof? Was this whole time of visiting family only a dream? You looked around in disbelief before hearing a faint moan. You whipped your head around and saw someone laying on the ground, a pool of red under them.

"Are-Are you okay?" You asked, quickly running to them. You knelt down next to them, looking at their wounds. I-It's okay! I'm a nurse. I can help you..." You trailed off as soon as you saw his face. Jungkook. "Jungkook-" You slapped your hand over your mouth as soon as you said his name. He looked up at you, his face a twisted mix of pain and confusion. "Do I know you?" He choked out. "N-No. Um...what happened?" You asked. He scoffed. "You're a nurse. You should know..." He trailed off. He was going in and out of consciousness.

"Fuck, um...I'mma call 911." You said, reaching into your pocket and grabbing your phone. You paused when you saw you had no connection. "D-Don't call the police." Jungkook came back from consciousness, his eyes wide. "I need to get an ambulance for you, you're bleeding out." You looked at him up and down, his blood slowly pooling out as he lost more and more blood. "Please...no." He whispered. You looked around, hoping to see someone but there was none. "So do you just want to die out here?" You asked.

You didn't mean to sound mean, but he was being ridiculous at this point. "No...just...you're a nurse, can you take me to your place? I'll like...pay you or whatever to help me just please don't." He was pleaded but it all sounded like a stupid idea to you. Plus, did you even live here?

"You're fucking stupid, no! You've been shot, I have no idea what arteries might've been hit in that leg-" You panicked and Jungkook closed his eyes. He was really about to die out here. With a stupid, useless nurse. Which made it even worse.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll just die." Jungkook said. You gaped at him. "No fuckin way, come on, I'll take you to the hospital myself. Is there an urgent care near?" You asked. "You don't know? You found me." He winced as you grabbed his arm, putting it around your shoulders and slowly helped him up. "I'm um...not from around here." You murmured. Jungkook looked at you, his eyes scanning your face as you chewed at your bottom lip. "How annoying..." He grumbled. You contemplated dropping him back down and letting him bleed out, but then you realized that you'd have this man's life on your mind forever, and you don't want to deal with that trauma.

You two slowly but surely went to the open stairs of the building, making your way down. "Can we use an elevator? You're heavy..." You complained. He was practically dead weight against you, and as strong as you might think you are, a dead weight body is incredible heavy. "No fuckin way. The cops will find me that way." Jungkook was very stubborn, and he was starting to piss you off. "Fine. Then put more work in. You're fat and I can't carry you down all these stairs."

Jungkook rolled his eyes but started to carefully take some of his weight off of you, not wanting to do too much because he was still weak from losing so much blood. Eventually you two make it out the building from the side door, and stumble a couple blocks to a nearby urgent care. You sighed in relief when they took Jungkook into a stretcher and started taking care of his actively bleeding wounds as he was wheeled off. You sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room, your right side stained with his blood.

"Are you his family?" A nurse asked as she stood in front of you. You looked up at her wide eyed "Uh, oh, no. No, I'm just a nurse. I happened to find him and took him here." You combed your hair back, your bangs sticking to your forehead with sweat. "Oh? Where do you work?" Your mouth opened and closed before opening once more, thinking of how to even respond. "Um...is there a bathroom I can wash up in?" You stood, the nurse stepping back with a confused expression before nodding and pointing you in the direction of the bathroom.

You hurried into the large bathroom, locking the door behind you. You sighed, looking yourself in the mirror and gripping the sink hard, your knuckles almost turning white. "What in the ever loving fuck is going on?" You hoped your reflection would reply. Tell you this is all a dream. This is a dream. Yeah, it's a dream.

You washed your face, hands, and legs, already giving up trying to clean the blood from your pajamas when it seemed to just spread and make your skin wet and sticky. "Fuckin hell..." You sighed before leaving the bathroom and sitting back at the waiting area, away from any nurses who may walk past to avoid any further questions.

-

You felt like you were there for hours. You were there for hours. The sound of people crying and alerts over the intercom helped drown out the sound of your own thoughts. Your mind could beat Usain Bolt right now with how hard it was racing. You just sat quietly, cross legged at the ankles. You should leave. You kept telling yourself that, but at the same time you wanted to stay. See if he was okay. Maybe it's because you kinda pretended as if you were waiting for your brother. Hopefully not in these circumstances but to hope he was okay, might bring you some clarity. "Excuse me..." A doctor said as she walked over to you.

You silently hoped there would be no more questions. "Are you with Jeon Jungkook?" She asked. You slowly nodded. "He's fine, in stable condition. Luckily the bullets missed all the important organs and arteries. The bullet in his leg shattered and we had to take those out so please come back if there's any complications after discharge. But luckily the bullet in his abdomen went straight through with no massive damage so that was an easy fix."

She explained everything to you and you sighed in relief. This means you can leave. Finally. "He is ready to see you now." The doctor interrupted your thoughts. "Ex-Excuse me?" You couldn't stop your constant stuttering. "He has requested to see you." You opened your mouth but no words left you, so you simply nodded and followed the doctor through a set or doors towards the patient rooms.

"He's in here. Our visiting hours are over in an hour." She said, nodding to you before walking off. You looked back at her as she left, then turned towards the sliding door of the patient room. Your hand reached out to grab the handle, your fingers wiggling slightly with nervousness. "Annoying Nurse? I know you're there." You could hear Jungkook's deep voice from the other side of the door and you huffed, sliding the door open and going inside quickly. "Annoying nurse? I have a name you know."

"Never told me it, so that's your fault." Jungkook looked at you from his bed, his hospital gown slightly open showing a wrap around his abdomen. You then glanced at the cast on his leg, and the stack of pillows keeping it elevated. "My name is (Y/N), so you can stop calling me annoying. Please." You sighed, taking a seat next to his bed. "Fine. But only because you said please." He smirked. You rolled your eyes. "I just wanted to say thank you. For saving my life." You looked Jungkook in the eye, his eyes on his hands which were picking at his individual fingers.

"No need to thank me. It's my job." You gave him a soft smile. He looked over at you, and matched his smile with yours. "You work here?" You bit your bottom lip. "No...I uh...I work somewhere else. Out of town." You said it so quietly Jungkook almost couldn't hear you. "Oh...okay."

The silence was so uncomfortable you debated just getting up and leaving now, which you thought would be perfect. "Well, visiting hours are probably already over, so I will get going now." You laughed awkwardly, standing up slowly and wiping your sweaty palms agains your pajama shorts. You turned to walk out the door but then a hand reached out and grabbed yours.

You turned back around and saw Jungkook's bandaged hand engulfing your smaller palm. "Can you come back tomorrow?" He almost had puppy dog eyes with the way he looked up at you. "I...I don't know..." You started. "I'll pay for lunch...or dinner. Or whatever you want. Please?" You thought to yourself. "Hmm...fine, but only because you said please." You teased, and Jungkook snorted. He gave you a toothy grin and you felt your cheeks heat up slightly with his hand still wrapped around yours.

"Goodnight Jungkook." You pulled your hand from his grasp and slide open the door to his room. "Goodnight...Y/N" He said as you closed his door. He looked around the hospital room and sighed. "Such an annoying nurse." He chuckled.

-

Now that you were finally out of there, you could properly freak the fuck out. First off, where the fuck are you? Second, why in the fuck is Framed character, Jeon Jungkook, in the same world as you right now? Third, what in the fucking fuck? Fuck? You raked your hands through your messy hair, the reality of everything setting in. What if you're stuck here? What about your family? Your friends? Your job???

You rubbed at your temples. Okay (Y/N), don't stress yourself out too much now. Maybe if you just...go to sleep...you'll wake up back at home. It's a dream remember? You looked around. Where the fuck will you go? You contemplated everything and just realized you should probably just stay at the hospital. You had nowhere to go.

As you made your way back to the entrance doors, three cop cars pulled up and cops started to jump out their cars. You jumped back in surprise. "Are you alright?" One of the officers said, looking at your blood stained clothes. "Y-Yeah I'm fine, I was dropping off a friend." You stammered. The officer looked you up and down curiously. "Well anyways, have you seen this man? He is currently wanted by police." The officer scrolled on his phone before showing you a photo and you almost choked on your spit. A picture of Jungkook was staring right back at you, his purple dyed hair a mess. It's a mugshot.

"Uh...no. Why? What did he do?" You looked at the officer, trying to hold your composure. Why in the hell was there a mugshot of Jungkook? Is that why he wouldn't let you call the police? "We can't say that. Just wondering if you'd seen him." The officer asked once again, as if telling you to just own up to it.

Like hell you were going to do that. You got questions and this little criminal needed to give you answers. "Nope. Never seen him. If you'll please excuse me, my boyfriend was shot and I'm here to make sure he's okay." Your mouth was moving faster than your brain. Boyfriend? Why in the fuck did you say that? The officer's right eyebrow raised curiously. "Did you shoot him?" You cocked your head in confusion before remembering your current attire.

"N-No! I saved his life. Now...please excuse me." You pushed past the officer as you made your way back into the hospital and into the elevators to go to the patient rooms. Once you arrived on the correct floor you snuck past the nurses station, knowing if they saw you they'd tell you to go home since visiting hours were over. Once you got to Jungkook's room, you quietly slide open the door and closed it once you were inside.

"You're back?" Jungkook's voice could've startled you if you weren't already freaking the fuck out. "Jungkook...I just got stopped by the cops." You looked over at him and you visibly saw his adam's apple bob from the gulp he swallowed. "Yeah? And?" This fucker is playing dumb. "And? Jungkook you're wanted by the police! What did you do?" You exclaimed. "Okay, say it louder for the security down the hall." He rolled his eyes, his arms folded across his chest as he huffed, annoyed.

"I didn't do anything." Your eyes could've popped out your head with how hard your eyes were bulging at him. "The police seem to think differently. They showed me your fuckin mugshot, dude." You sat next to his bed, your hands raking your hair with frustration. "That was from something unrelated. This time...it wasn't me." He looked like he really wanted you to believe him. "What happened?" You just wanted to know. You weren't sure if you were sitting with an innocent man or some kind of killer but it would help to make sure?

Jungkook paused, his eyes dashing around as if he was thinking if he should even tell me or not. "Fine...don't tell me." You were starting to get annoyed. You were hoping he would trust you, with you saving his life and all, but that didn't seem to be the case. "(Y/N)..." He started but you were quick to shut him down. "Forget it. Good luck with your case." You slide open the door, your face turned pale when you saw a nurse walking with a police officer.

You slide the door shut once more, and Jungkook looked at you curiously. "Jungkook...the police are here." You whispered. You felt the room go cold and Jungkook looked around nervously. "We gotta go." He started moving, ripping his IV out his arm swinging his leg over the bed with a groan. "Wait what? What the fuck? N-No!" You walked over to him, trying to push him back by his chest. He pushed your hands away.

"I'm not about to be taken for something I did not do." He was angry. Frustrated. You hesistated, watching as he stood and grabbed his bag of clothes. "I'll...I'll help you." Jungkook turned towards you. "You will? Even though you don't know if I'm some crazed killer or not?" You pursed your lips. "Is that what they're trying to arrest you for?" Jungkook took a deep breath in, not saying anything else as he limped towards his things that were put into a hospital bag and then slipped on his hospital slippers.

He turned towards you again, looking you over once more as you stood there. "Are you just gonna stare at me or are you gonna come with me?" You nodded, going over to him and letting him wrap his arm around your shoulder once more. You slid open the door, looking in the direction of where the nurse and officer were and not seeing them. "They might be talking about you, we gotta go." You whispered and Jungkook nodded, following you towards the nearby stairs.

"Wait, can we use the elevator?" Jungkook looked at you as if you were the dumbest on earth. "You truly are the most annoying person I've ever met." He let go of your shoulder. "You go on the elevator, distract the nurse and cop, and meet me on the side of the building. I'll call someone to pick us up since you apparently don't live around here." He rolled his eyes and opened up the door to the stairs, wincing slightly in pain.

You nodded, ignoring his earlier remark and started for the elevator. Right as you were close, the nurse and cop you saw earlier spotted you. "Excuse me? Visiting hours ended a while ago." She said. You looked at her apologetically. "Sorry...my boyfriend was shot and I just needed to see him one more time. Bring him some snacks and stuff." You continued heading for the elevator, ignoring the calls from the nurse and officer as you pressed the first floor button and mashed the 'closed elevator' button repetitively.

Once you got to the first floor, you walked calmly out the door, ignoring the looks from the earlier officer that questioned you earlier. As soon as you touched the outside, a large exhale escaped your lungs. How long were you holding your breath? As you walked, you heard a low voice call out to you. "(Y/N)." Jungkook called for you in a silent yell. You hurried over to him, grabbing his arm once again to help him balance himself.

"Where is your friend?" You looked up at him. "Behind here." He started walking and you tried your best to help him along the way, the weight of his body was a little easier to handle now. He wasn't extremely heavy, but the amount of muscle on him did add to his weight and made it a little hard to keep hold of him.

As you kept walking you noticed a car parked with its lights off. You opened the door and Jungkook slowly sat into the back seat, wincing and groaned the whole time. You tried to look at the driver but couldn't. What if this is just his plan to kidnap you? You know what he's on the run for, getting rid of you will just make things easier.

"Come on." Jungkook grabbed your arm, pulling you into the car with him. You sat, a little reluctant but deciding it's for the best. You could have somewhere to sleep, if Jungkook doesn't kill you first. Once you were inside, you could now see who was driving. Kim Seokjin. Jungkook's other best friend in this story.

"Jesus Christ dude, who did that to you?" He looked back at Jungkook, his eyes then shifting to you. "Is this a new one?" That question almost seemed like an insult. New one? You don't remember Jungkook being a player in the story? How many relationships has he been in?

"Shut up and drive, dude. I'm sure the cops just realized I'm gone." Jungkook looked around, almost paranoid. "Okay fine." Seokjin started driving, waiting till he was on the road before turning his headlights on. He then turned on the radio, pop punk softly playing. Jungkook was exhausted. Terribly exhausted, and he couldn't help but rest his head on your shoulder. You stiffened at first, but then understood immediately and relaxed.

You smell good. He thought to himself as he took a slow deep breath, taking in your scent. Even though you smelled slightly of his blood, there was this other natural scent from you. Your hair smelled clean. Like you just washed it before finding him bleeding out on the roof. He appreciated this. It helps him relax.

The drive was long, but it helped ease the worry between Jungkook's brow, and he was relieved when you all arrived at Seokjin's brother's house. "My brother is away on a business trip for a month, so this place is yours until you figure things out." Seokjin explained everything to you two as he helped Jungkook get out the car. Jungkook gritted his teeth in pain. He looked over to you, seeing your tired expression. "Is it okay if we use his clothes?"

"Yeah dude, no problem. Just make sure you wash everything before you leave." Seokjin opened the door for you, letting you in first before helping Jungkook. "There's two bedrooms, so there's another place to sleep." You glanced around the place. This was a very nice house. One you didn't mind staying in for as long as Jungkook wanted.

What was that? You were thinking as if you were gonna be here another night. This is just a very long, draining dream. After tonight, you will wake up in your bed or on the floor of your brother's room and wonder what happened. "Thank you, Hyung." Jungkook watched you as you walked around. "Oh, so now we're using formalities?" Seokjin joked, walking Jungkook into one of the rooms and setting him on the bed.

"Alright, I'll leave you two be. Reminder, this is only for a month, so don't get too comfortable. And also, please clean up after yourself. Also please throw all your condoms away in the outside trash or flush them, if ya'll use those. I don't want my brother asking too many questions." Seokjin looked at the both of you and you looked back at him wide eyed, your face as hot as an oven.

"Hyung. Stop. We're just friends." Jungkook looked almost as flustered as you, his eyes quickly averting yours. "Really? Just friends with someone this hot? Then you don't mind if I flirt with them right?" Seokjin flashed you a wide grin and you bit your lip nervously. Seokjin is a very...very handsome man yet you couldn't imagine doing anything with him. Jungkook glanced between the two of you and something rose within him. Jealousy? No fuckin way. Either way it pissed him off seeing his friend look at you like that.

"Jin..." Seokjin chuckled, shaking his head. "And the formalities are gone again." He headed out the room and down the hall. "Alright kids, I'll leave you two alone." You both waited in silence, waiting for the sound of the front door to close and lock before both exhaling.

"Holy shit...um...well. This is nice I guess." You were trying to find anything to get your mind off whatever just happened and you could see Jungkook either was trying to do the same or honestly didn't care because he just slowly laid down onto the bed. "I'm going to sleep. It's been a long night." He grumbled and you nodded, the awkward silence engulfing the room once again. "Gotcha...I'll just...go into the other room." You headed towards the door before hearing the bed creak slightly.

"Goodnight." Jungkook stared at you as you walked out the door and slowly closed it behind you. "Night, Jungkook." You said before shutting it. Once you were out the room, you felt all the stiffness and uneasiness leave you. Holy fuck, you need a shower. You smelled of blood and sweat and it was utterly disgusting. You went straight into the bathroom and started the shower, shedding your clothes off and hopping in as soon as the water was scolding hot. You let the water drop onto your naked body, the water slowly washing the dried blood off of you and trailing into the drain. You grabbed the soap on the side and started scrubbing, almost as if you were trying to scrub five layers of skin off.

After your shower and you felt like you were fresh and raw from the hot water and hard scrubbing, you wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel and made your way into the other bedroom. Once you were inside you opened a dresser and saw a couple large shirts. You were thankful they were huge cause you didn't have any spare underwear to wear.

You pulled it over your head, the soft material falling over your body and resting at your mid thigh. You put the towel to your hair and dried your hair as much as possible, your arms felt so tired that just lifting them to dry your hair was a lot of work. You put the towel on the ground and made your way over to the bed and went under the sheets. This was what you finally needed. A comfortable bed. And now, as you fall asleep, you can look forward to waking up back home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm glad you guys are liking the first chapter so far! Wanted to go ahead and post the second part to kinda get the story going so you know where everything is going :)

Let me know if you'd like a part three! <3

DO NOT POST/SHARE MY WORK ON TIKTOK

[thesassenachswiftie]

Lover Chapter 5 - “False God”

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4

Summary:

Claire has made up her mind to end things with Jamie. How will he react when she makes a confession to him?

Notes:

Thank you all for following along on this journey. We left off in a pretty angsty spot and the angst is going to continue for a bit here.

New chapters every Friday, moodboard release every Monday, previews on Wednesday

Chapter 5:  “False God”

Claire managed to somewhat keep it together all morning as they picked up their discarded clothes scattered about the room, grabbed a quick breakfast and got on the road.  Jamie, of course, noticed the look on her face shortly after waking.  When he inquired, she blamed a hangover (which wasn’t entirely a lie) and assured him she would be fine. She would not be fine, and neither would he, she suspected.  He seemed so chipper, so alive, like he was ready to conquer the world.  She knew she was a terrible person to do this to him, but if she didn’t do it now it would be so much worse for the both of them later.  She decided to tell him when they were about a half hour from her house. That way, if he left her on the side of the road--which she wouldn’t blame him for--she’d be close enough to call Jo to come pick her up. She had made sure her phone was charged the night before if that was to be the case.

 For the first stretch of her trip, she remained quiet, still blaming the hangover and staring out the window as Jamie talked about Scotland and England and all the places he’d love to take her and people he wanted to introduce her to there.  She tuned out most of what he was saying.  She couldn’t bear dreaming with him, and needing to mentally rehearse what she would say when the time came.  She watched the road ahead of her, trying to focus on the movement of the car instead of the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.  Eventually, the time came--she couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Jamie, we were crazy to think that this could work” she blurted out, more abruptly than she had intended.

“I know Claire, but we might just get away with this, it’s going great so far--”

“No Jamie, I mean, this isn’t going to work.  We can’t keep seeing each other like this, and what’s going to happen when you leave?”

“Have you not been listening to me for the past hour? Remember how I said I’d fly ta ya? What are you doing Claire?”

“We were stupid to jump in with an ocean separating us.  We can’t just fly back and forth whenever we feel like it.  It’s not realistic.  We’re living in a fantasy world, Jamie. We’re living in a dream and it’s time to wake up to reality.”

“Claire, I--”

“No, let me finish.  I know I’ve had a setback in my career, but I still want to be a doctor.  I’m not going to be able to spend any time with you when I do eventually start my residency, whether you fly here or not.  It’s not fair to you or me.  It’s not fair to you that I keep you away from your family.  It’s not fair to you that you have to sneak around and lose sleep on my account.  I’m doing this for you, believe it or not.”

Jamie’s hands gripped the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white, his jaw tightened and his face felt hot as something within him broke. “Claire, how could ye possibly be doing this for me when it isna what I want at all?” He reached for her, knowing it would be easier to talk to her if they touched.

Claire stared out the passenger window, arms crossed across her chest, shrinking herself as far away as she could. “Don’t touch me.” she hissed.  She knew she couldn’t do this if they touched, she’d be lost in him again, it was taking all her resolve to say her piece.

Jamie, ever the gentlemen, knew even something as small as a touch on the shoulder was something that needed consent, and reluctantly put his hand back on the steering wheel. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this, staring out the window like I’m not your favorite.  God dammit Claire, it’s hell when I fight with you.”  He felt so frustrated, he couldn’t understand how less than twenty-four hours ago she confessed her love to him and now she was doing this. “This canna possibly be what you really want.  We belong together, we were meant to meet Claire, we were meant to be together. Ya really wanna leave?  Go ahead, try and leave me, try and tell me honestly that’s what you really want.”  He thought if he could scare her maybe she’d come to her senses and change her mind.

The tears were flowing freely from Claire's eyes now.  “Yes.” she said quietly.  “Jamie, I’m New York City, you’re the English countryside, we don’t belong together, we don’t fit together.  If this was meant to be we’d be on the same path, and we’re just not.”

You’re not New York City, you’re my Sassenach, you don’t belong to any place, that’s what I love about you, you just belong with me. Jamie thought to himself. “Claire, I can’t let you go that easy.  I love you so much, I’d die for you Claire.  If you want me to fly to you every week, I will, I swear to it, tell me what to do Claire.”

Claire’s resolve was weakening, he wasn’t supposed to keep loving her, to keep worshipping her as if she were worthy of his love. She only had one thing left to say, the confession she hoped she wouldn’t have to share. The last thing she wanted to ever tell him, but the thing that might finally make him leave.  “I’m not what you think I am Jamie.  I lied to you!”

“What are you talking about?”

“That first night we were together, I told you Frank broke up with me… he didn’t. I didn’t even talk to him. I used you.  I wanted you, I wanted to piss Frank off--I was bored and lonely and horny and I lied to you to get my way.  That’s the type of person I am, I’m not this wonderful person you’ve made me out to be.”

All he could do in reply was grunt a Scottish noise of disapproval. Her confession ignited a livid fire in him, he didn’t know what to feel or how to respond.  He would never have consented to sleeping with her that night knowing she still belonged to Frank. God, she was engaged to him for heaven’s sake. How could she let him do that, knowing how he felt about the situation. He had been under her spell, completely captivated by her, and he didn’t know if he fully regretted it. The final minutes of their car ride continued in heated silence. The air in the car was thick with something that felt like it would ignite and burn up fast if either of them uttered a word. 

Jamie dropped Claire off at the end of her street as she had requested earlier, she grabbed her weekender bag from the backseat and softly said “Goodbye, Jamie” before shutting the door, not daring herself to look at him as she did. She walked to her house as quickly as she could and collapsed to the ground sobbing as soon as she was inside her door. She knew it was for the best, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

----------

            Jamie drove away from her, glancing one last time at her figure in the rearview mirror in spite of himself.  He felt betrayed, upset, confused and aimless. Above all, he felt heartbroken. They had warned him about times like these--his father, his Godfather, even his brother-in-law.  “When you fall in love”, they said, “the road gets hard and you get lost in it” and Jamie was just now figuring out what they meant.  He had been following her with blind faith, doing anything she asked without a thought, sneaking around--even allowing her to cheat with him, albeit unknowingly. He was still too eager, too willing. How could he forgive himself for that?  How could he allow a woman to consume him so deeply, body, mind and soul? Worst of all, who was he without her, now that she had walked away?

He found himself pulling into the parking lot of a Catholic church.  He didn’t attend weekly anymore, nor did his family.  “The Lord kens how difficult it is ta get seven bairns dressed and ready for church and the Lord kens how much we love him.” his sister Jenny would say.  He knew he didn’t need the church building to love and worship God. He also recognized that the Roman Catholic Church was as flawed and marred by sin as the worst sinner, but he still found something comforting and spiritual about visiting. Something about the waxy smell of candles and the glow the stained glass cast on the cold marble interior, made him feel like he was connected to something ancient and holy, something bigger than himself--and in this moment he needed something bigger than himself to help him make sense of this situation. He dipped his hand in the font and crossed himself as he entered, strode to the pews, and genuflected before taking a seat in the middle of the empty church.  He rested his forehead on his clasped hands, elbows resting on the back of the pew in front of him, ready to speak to the only one who could listen.  The one who knew him best and could help him sort through all the raw emotions that weighed so heavily on him in this moment.

He allowed the tears he’d been holding back to flow freely as he prayed: Lord, please have mercy on my soul for I am a sinner. I thought that you had made her for me, I selfishly thought that we were meant to be together. I tried to be good, I tried to respect and honor her. With her I knew heaven was a thing, I went there when I touched her. Lord, I confess I coveted my neighbor’s wife--well, fiancée if we’re being technical about it--but you of course know these things. I beg you for forgiveness for that, and I’m afraid I am guilty of a bit more than just coveting. Please forgive me for the sins I did not know I was committing.  Lord, if you did not make her for me, please, please, take my desire for her from me, I beg of you.  I fear even if she is a false god that I am still sorely tempted to worship this love.  However, Lord, if you did in fact make her for me, and me for her, as I believe you are good enough to do, please Lord, bring her back to me.  Heal her wounds and bring her back to me, I swear to you I’ll care for her, honor her and never let her leave me again.  I’ll do whatever it takes Lord, please, just free me from this pain I feel.  It’s too much to bear without her.

[98prilla]

Falling Apart: Part 1

Part 5 of the Dark Side Logan series. 

Roman goes for a walk in the imagination to try and clear his head. Things do not go well. 

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Ao3

He's in the imagination. Where else would he be, after all?

 Not his room, where his thoughts spiral out into fantasies and daydreams, not the commons, waiting for a splash of blue that's never coming, not even his own side of the imagination, where everything is too bright and cheery.

 No. It's darkness and quiet and solitude he needs, so he's crossed the boundary lines into Remus's territory.

 The trees’ spindly limbs stretch up and up, tangling together in the canopy. Dark eyes seem to glow, staring from hollows and underbrush, soft cackles and rustles echoing from nowhere in particular. An owl hoots ominously, and he shakes his head with a fond smile.

 If the others think he is one for clichés and exaggerations, then they don’t know Remus. He prides himself on his work, maybe more than he himself does, every detail must be perfect down to a T. He wonders how long was spent writing his song, how many times did he rehearse it, perform it, force Deceit to listen to it, until he was sure it was ready?

 Oh, Remus may be darker than him, sure, and much more impulsive, with much more dangerous ideas, but he is still Creativity, still takes pride in every being and mote of dust he conjures, still thrives on other's approval.

 Something he was guilty of denying him far too many times. How long has it been, since Remus barged into his room, face aglow, hands gesturing wildly as he spouted off his newest genius idea, because he just had to share it, right that instant? When did he stop smiling fondly, asking questions, instead of being cold and dismissive? And why? Why did he change in the first place?

 Just another crime to add to his list, he supposes, wincing.

 It's his own ego, or rather, lack of one, he supposes. All flaunt and flounce, no actual substance. Always afraid, of being disliked, of being unneeded, of being unwanted, of not being good enough. His own insecurities making him lash out at Remus, for fear of being replaced.

 Lash out at Logan. For fear of being found irrelevant.

 He winces again, replaying every snide remark, every mocking nickname, every time he shut Logan down or pushed him out, or pushed him away.

 They had moments, sure, good memories, among the bad, discussing poetry, the rap battle, their shared appreciation of literature. But even he wasn’t fool enough to think the good outweighed the bad.

 And that’s the crux of it all, isn’t it?

 He knows the dark sides aren’t bad, or evil. He knows this intimately, because of Remus. Because Remus isn’t bad, and Remus had told him how Deceit takes care of him when he’s overwhelmed, how he used to soothe Virgil, kept the emo sane at all, when he was new and barely in control. And he knows Ambition is so far from evil, is so far in the right that he could never be bad.

 If anyone is bad, it is him. He's been a bad brother, a bad friend, a bad family member. A bad person.

His shoulders drop even more at that thought, because it's true, and he deserves to be left behind, left alone, with his grief. It should be Remus's turn in the spotlight, he can imagine how his twin would thrive and glow off being center stage. It's not like Remus would be able to fuck up any harder than he already had.

 He hears a hiss, and he freezes. He hasn’t been watching where he was going, merely wandering absently. Usually, creatures in the imagination left him alone unless he was actively questing. But this wasn’t his side, and it was the outskirts of Remus's. Any creatures here would be impossible for him to control, and nearly as hard for Remus to influence.

 He steels himself and slowly reaches for his sword, pretending to be looking at his shoe. In one fluid motion, he draws his sword, holding it before him in a ready stance, eyes flashing with his blade as he looks up, assessing his foe.

 And that is his first and only mistake he needs to make for his foe to hold all the cards.

 Instantly, he is frozen in paralysis, ruby glimmering eyes all he can see, filling his entire world. His grip on his sword tightens, his knuckles going white with the effort of keeping it raised, keeping his stance, it takes all his will not to break under those eyes.

 It is a Cockatrice. A feathered serpent. It trails poison in its wake, in its breath, in its being. Its eyes are hypnotizing, deadly, in some cases. This one appears to have a pointed stinger on its tail, venom dripping from its talons, its bright plumage screaming of danger, as it snaps its beak at him, hissing and stretching its wings.

 They are a mesmerizing rainbow of color. They shimmer, flowing from fiery reds to deep ocean blues, enchanting and enticing, somehow promising everything he's ever wanted. He can see himself being lauded, being loved, Thomas being a star, and it brings tears to his eyes, how much it aches, stings, hurts, inside.

 His sword has fallen from his hand, thumping softly into the underbrush. Distantly, he knows this is a mistake, he knows he should be fighting, but this warmth, this… hope is something he hasn’t felt in so, so, long.

 Faster than his groggy mind can decipher, the wings flare shut. He stumbles, tries to dodge, but the beast is faster as the tail nicks his cheek.

 He rolls, grabbing his sword, eyes averted as he swings, but is balance is wrong, his grip sweaty, and the beast screeches, making him clap his hands over his ears, it is deafening, echoing in his skull, staggering. Then there are talons pinning him to the ground, puncturing through his body, and he hisses, wriggles, but they just push him harder into the ground.

 He gasps, vision flaring white, spasming as fire flares through his veins, burning him alive, from the inside out. He reaches up, scratching the talons, tearing at the feathers, at anything he can reach, feeling his own hands tearing into his skin, trying anything, everything, to get away, to get out, to make it stop, stop, STOP!

 How funny, how silly, how utterly perfect, that he can’t do anything right, including saving himself from dying now. Maybe it’s better off this way, maybe they’ll all be better off this way. He can’t breathe, can’t even flail anymore, as he feels the cockatrice bite into his shoulder. His vision goes black and he screams, writhing and fighting and choking on bile before his throat closes up and everything stops.

 …

 Remus nearly screams, crumpling in two, hands clutching at his hair, the wash of agony is like nothing he’s ever felt, and it doesn’t take him even a second to know where it’s coming from. It vanishes as quick as it came, leaving nothing but a phantom ache behind.

 “Remus.” Deceit is supporting him, keeping him from face planting on the ground as he regains his balance. He lurches to his feet, barely aware of Deceit asking him what’s wrong, of Cygnus placing a hand on his shoulder, having come in from the living room at the commotion he’d made nearly falling.

 Instead he shoves past the two of them, sprinting to his room. He throws the door open hard enough it must dent the wall behind it, add a new crack to the wood, and he doesn’t even blink as he runs through the mirror that leads to his side of the imagination.

 It’s stronger here, and he nearly keels over again, it staggers him, and he can barely breathe for a moment, before his vision clears. His mirror leads to his bedroom in his castle, and he runs, throwing open the balcony door. He’s not surprised to see her waiting.

 “Hyacinth.” He gasps out, looking into the eyes of one of his closest friends, Roman’s favorite sparring partner, the Dragon Witch. Her eyes glitter like emeralds, two sets of leathery wings sprouting from her back, wearing a dark dress of glittering scales, knee high black boots.

 “You feel it, too.” She states, and he nods, panic welling in his throat, any second he is going to scream, it is going to overwhelm him, it is going to crush him, because Roman is in trouble, Roman is hurt, Roman is hurt very badly and he cannot, will not, lose him.

 “Find him. Please, we need to find him, I need to find him, I need to, have to…” He trails off, words becoming choked, vision becoming blurry, tears stinging his eyes.

 “I know. All my dragons are out searching. Both your kingdom and his. As soon as they find anything-“ Her words are cut off by a distant roar. Her head snaps up, and she grabs his hand, vaulting over the balcony with him, onto the back of a dragon. He doesn’t protest, just holds tight to the spine spikes of the silver beast, almost numb, at this point, with fear.

 They touch down what could be minutes or hours later, time has lost all meaning. He’s focusing too hard on his bond to Roman, which he can feel slowly growing weaker, which is bad, bad, bad. He’s begging him, pleading with him, bargaining with him, to hold on, keep holding on, please.

 He’s across the space in moments, freezing as his heart leaps to his throat.

 In the clearing is an orange ombre dragon, curled protectively around something on the ground. A bloodied, feathery mess is flung across, into the trees, barely recognizable as a cockatrice and his heart sinks to his feet.

 “roman.” He gasps out, lurching into motion once again, the dragon uncurling slightly, allowing him entry, and he falls to his knees as he pulls Roman onto his lap, eyes roving over every inch of his twin, there’s blood, so much blood, too much blood, to be coming from Roman.

 He can see where the beast pierced its talons deep into his flesh, can see the deep gashes across his chest where the creature must have raked him, there’s a chunk of flesh taken out of his shoulder, and saliva is foaming at his mouth, his face is drawn and pale, cheeks flushed, beads of sweat on his brow. His breathing is labored and shallow, he can hear him wheezing in, his chest barely moving up and down.

 Oh, this is bad, bad, bad.

 …

It’s cold.

 That’s all he knows.

 It is dark. It is cold. He is alone.

 He deserves it.

 That’s all he knows.

 “roman.” Something. It jolts something in him, he knows that voice, but he isn’t used to it sounding so desperate, so afraid. He’s used to it being loud and proud and boisterous. Used to it laughing and cackling and spewing whatever words it can to make him blush like a tomato.

 He feels something. Wind? Wind. Flying. Ah.

 Hyacinth.

 Remus? Remus.

 It burns. Everything burns. Acid, eating him from the inside out, his blood corroding him, the air choking him, fire tracing itself across his skin, and he is shaking again, a choked sound escaping from his lips, as he coughs violently. He feels someone cradle him into a sitting position, feels something warm dripping down his chin.

 “Roman. Roman, please. Please, please, please. Roman.” Remus. Something twinges in him at that, and he forces his eyes open, forces himself to look up, barely able to make out green eyes and white streaked hair.

 “R… re…” He struggles out, choking on more blood, breathing feels unbearably impossible.

 “heal yourself, Ro, come on, use your stupid Disney kids power, no blood allowed, right? No guts and fluids and… and death, right, Ro? You know I can’t heal, you know I would if I could but I can’t, so just snap those fingers and poof, back to normal!” His voice is frantic, bubbling with anxiety.

 “C-an’t. N-not s-strong en-ough.” He forces out, eyes slipping closed. Everything is pain, every moment is pure anguish, and just wants it to end. “S-o-orry.” He gasps, barely feeling Remus’s arms hold him tighter.

 “NO! You don’t have anything to be sorry for, don’t be sorry, don’t give up on me, and you don’t have to be sorry.”

 His awareness slips away.

[klaus-is-the-real-number-1]

She’s Lost Control (Number 5 x reader)

A/N: If anyone suffers from anything mentioned in this fic dont be affraid to message me because ive got a big heart full of love for every single one of you and i want you to know you are loved. Im no proffesional but im always here to listen. I wrote another sad boy fic a while ago called run boy run so you can look at that as well if you want. Yet again as always, five and the reader are teens. (sorry if this is abit dark but it gets better?)

ASK: Five x reader who has self harmed or is depressed and he sees the scars and just lots of fluff please. Im sorry if this is too dark or anything i just feel real bad and i want love man

Words:1162

WARNING: self harm, depression, pretty sad but gets fluffy, blood

Velvet red drops contrast with the stark white of the sink, it was another reminder that you corrupted everything you came in contact with, soft pink stains were a reminder of your previous offences. Your knuckles where white from gripping the sink, feeling shaky breaths leave your body only to cause a think layer of condensation to form on the mirror. The reflection staring back at you in the mirror was unrecognisable, dark circles and a tear stained face, it didn’t look like you, it couldn’t be you. Changing your attention back to the droplets, they were so free with no constraints for where and how they could flow, you wish you could flow like that, free of pain.

As you check your phone you sigh, you hadn’t left your room for days and you could feel the grime building up like a monster gripping at your skin. Your phone pinged, it was Five, he had called, texted and messaged you on almost every form of platform but you just ignored him. If he wanted to see you he could just come over, he could travel anywhere in seconds but couldn’t manage to come over to check on you. ‘It’s because he doesn’t actually care’ You couldn’t help but think to yourself. 

‘Please y/n, come over? I’ll help you catch up on the work you’ve missed at school’ The screen of your phone burnt into your eyes, rereading the words over and over, you weren’t going to reply but then you read the words that followed it. ‘I miss you.’ Maybe you should get out of your room for a bit, just to breathe. You simply respond with a simple ‘ok’ and proceed to tell him you’ll be about an hour.

Stepping into the shower, the warm water ran over your body like a waterfall, crashing on the white tiles at the bottom, but the water slowly turned pink, running over your fresh cuts. A stinging sensation ran through your arm, up through your body and into the core of your chest. It was a reminder how broken and imperfect life was. You slowly wash the grease and grime from your body, trying to wash the monster away but it was always there, always lurking for it’s next attack.

Oversized hoodies hugged you like an old friend, hiding your insecurities. The air was fresh, it chilled your lungs as you made your way to the Academy. Your school bag banged your back, filled with undone work and empty books that you were hoping would be filled with new work from the school you missed. You had also missed Five, seeing his face every day had almost became a necessity, his ramblings about space and time travel were foreign but hearing him get so excited made you smile, he always made you smile.

The doors of the Academy came to face you too soon but you just stood there for a few minuets, unsure weather you wanted to just turn and run home, run away from all your problems and fears. But you knocked anyways, wanting to see Fives face again. You were hardly able to get your third knock on the door until it flew open to reveal Five. The next thing you knew you were pulled inside the Academy with Five almost knocking you over while hugging you, a big bear hug that you sunk into, it was a welcome surprise after days without any contact with anyone.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered into your ear. Five hold you at arms length to almost examine your dark circles and sunken face. His eyes softened when they met yours. He gently smiled and grabbed your hand as you began to walk up to his room, he kept on rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand almost understanding what you were going through, but he never could understand, he could never know.

You were doing so well, making small talk, acting like everything was fine but then you fell. You fell. Five grabbed your arm to try to break your fall, all you could do was scream in pain. Five let go and stepped back, he watched you break down on his floor, all you could do was silently cry and violently shake, grabbing hold of your arm. The fabric slowly dampened and tuned dark as the stabbing pain started up again. You always had to find a way to mess up.

“y/n,” Five was kneeled down next to you, placing a hand on your back. “Please tell me whats going on, can I see your arm?” You just shook your head, refusing to look him in the eyes.  

“Pl-please.” His voice broke, when you opened your eyes you saw he was crying too. The unbreakable boy was in tears looking at you. Defeated, you let him pull you up and put you on his bed, and then with a blue light he was gone only to reappear mere seconds later holding a bottle of water and some bandages. Five gently pulled your arm closer to him, pulling your sleeve up like you were an ancient piece of fine china that could shatter into a million pieces with the slightest bit of pressure.

Five furiously wiped the tears from his eyes, he couldn’t believe someone as perfect as you could do this, he hated himself for not seeing the signs, for not just going over to check on you. As delicately as he could he wrapped your arm up, silently vowing to himself to never let you do this again, he couldn’t see you break down again, it’d kill him.

He started wiping your tears off with his thumbs, his hands either side of your face. Fives eyes held unknown emotions, he didn’t even know what he was feeling. Five embraced you, pulling you down onto the bed with him, his warmth giving you some kind of comfort.

“Promise me you’ll call me if you get bad again.” It wasn’t even a question, Five was telling you to do it. “I can’t see you get like this again y/n, you mean so much to me you don’t even know. It was torture not hearing or seeing you for them few days and I know I should of just came over. I’m so sorry.” You could feel Fives shaking breaths against the back of your neck, his hands shaking around your waist.

“I promise.” You didn’t know if you truly meant it but it was a start.

Five sighed, tightening his grip around you more. “Y/n, I actually fucking love you so much, you have no idea.”

You smiled on hearing his words. Too tired to respond, you just hum at his words, leaning into Fives embrace. Maybe Five could make a difference in your life but only time can tell but for now you were content, held in Fives arms you drifted off too sleeping, hoping that this would never end. 

[monikafilefan]

Dead End Road

This is chapter 1 of 5 from my older post season 9-pre IWTB fic. Angst, emotional hurt/comfort, outdoor sex, romance, flashbacks, along with time jumps to post series season 11. 

Let me know what you think and if you want me to post the rest of the chapters;) Tagging @today-in-fic @scully-eats-sushi @baronessblixen @2plumsandagherkin @kyouryokusenshi @peacenik0 @spookydarlablack

It’s 2004 and since leaving their old lives behind to start a new one, Mulder and Scully have found happiness together. But as new yet familiar darkness threatens their life surrounding Williams birthday, they come across an event that may solidify their relationship.

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.”

- Edward Abbey

(2004)  

Scully had her head resting along the cool glass of the passenger side window, trying to relieve the flush of heat on her skin. The warmer temperature had only added to her emotional discomfort at the moment while she silently cursed Mulder for choosing Florida. She’d already vowed to never set foot in the state again after that Hurricane case she was cornered into, yet it was a general rule that the map elected where they ventured.

Sighing in defeat, she could no longer hold in the answer to Mulder’s question from earlier that morning that had been ruminating in her head for any longer.

He had been waiting patiently—in his own Mulder way—for her to respond to his question, but a mass amount of patience was just one attribute they both had learned to master while running from their former lives.

“I need something to hold onto, something stationary. We drive; we eat; we fuck; and we sleep. There’s consistency, Mulder, but where’s the permanency?” she said, her words cracking the shell of silence in the car.

Mulder swung his head over to her side, eyeing her with surprise laced in irritation at her bluntness. His thoughts had mirrored hers exactly on more than one occasion. Yet, he’d never thought she would out right say them with such an air of ease, as if she were discussing the weather while laying naked in his arms. But he had asked, and she had answered.

He just grunted while pressing on the gas pedal, trying to decide how to comment as he turned back to stare down the road. The seemingly never ending road that could perpetually turn into a dead end for him; for them both if they continued on the road of self-destruction. They don’t turn down this road willingly, yet they still find themselves bumping along, down it’s winding, crooked trail. But only on a day like today, because today is William’s birthday. The day that’s now marred with darkness, disorder, and depression for he and Scully.

Reaching for a handful of sunflower seeds as he eyed the passing neighborhoods surrounded with white picket fences and children’s laugher, Mulder decided that they really needed to find a new road to turn down. One that gave the new life they shared more meaning and sustenance than running for their lives and hiding in shadows, finally getting the hell out of the car.

----------

Three hours earlier...

She had been locked in the bathroom quietly crying her heart out for an hour now. She clutched the threadbare hand towel that reeked of bleach in her hands until her knuckles turned white. Images of sweet rounded cheeks and big bright blue eyes were invading her mind, mocking her with memories of what she’d given away. Reminders of what she’d torn from herself and Mulder were serving her a good dose of pain and suffering today.

She had rolled out of bed early this morning just in time to catch sight of Mulder shutting the hotel room door behind him. She stood by the bed to listen to his footfalls pound the pavement before she made her way to the bathroom, her tears already threatening to fall. She’d locked the door behind her and had the presence of mind to grab a hand towel off the rack before slowly sinking to the cold tile floor to let herself silently sob.

Her muscles ached from trembling but her internal ache within her heart was a hundred times worse. Taking deep breaths in order to find a semblance of control before Mulder returned from his run, she closed her eyes and searched for a memory that would bring her peace of mind about her decision.

She had given up their son. The son they had gone through multiple rounds of IVF to try and conceive, the son she prayed for and loved before he even existed. She made the ultimate sacrifice for his own safety. She knew that deep down she was right to do so, yet today, it was impossible to feel anything but hurt and regret. Searching within for something she could hold onto to bring herself out of the darkness, an image flashed before her eyes.

Suddenly she was in her old apartment again, watching her Mother being tossed on the floor like a rag doll.

She felt the weight of her gun in her hand, gripping the cool steel while squeezing the trigger. She shot the man bent over her sons crib as he held a pillow over her baby’s face. She’d kicked in the door after being thrown out of the room onto her knees and fearing the worst, watching it all again in slow motion. Blood spattering along the walls and splashing upon Williams smooth, innocent face. The wailing cries from his tiny flailing body echoed around her, joining her mother's worried voice from the hallway.

The wet gurgling sounds coming from her son’s would be assassin laid prone across the nursery rug as he spit out the blood pooling in the back of his throat, made her blanch at the depravity of it all. The sonofabitch was whimpering as she screamed questions into his face with his blood seeping into the knees of her pants like lava. He was slowly bleeding to death on the same rug where she’d paced the floor late at night as she soothed William and told him stories of his father. And in that moment she’d realized, she didn’t give a fuck whether he choked to death on his blood, or bled out at her feet.

She relived the overwhelming fear, anger, and satisfaction of inflicting the man’s pain again which made her heart pound in her chest and bile rise in the back of her throat. She bit down on her lip hard while she tried to push it away, only to be hit with another sickening memory.

Scully was in the hospital looming over the man and threatening to smother him like he had intended to do to her son. She could feel his larynx and his pounding pulse thumping beneath her hand as she squeezed his neck, just barely holding back the urge to end him. The feeling of excitement and adrenaline pumping through her veins in that moment frightened her. It felt so good holding his life in her hands just as he held her sons in his. She was so close to pressing down and crushing his windpipe between her fingers, and the pleasure she’d felt in that moment, frightened her. She wanted him dead, but she also wanted answers. She wanted the truth.

She winced from the loud knocking that echoed in the bathroom. Scully found herself feeling even more defeated and immediately nauseated along with it. Mulder knocked more persistently this time as he murmured her name questioningly through cracks. She took a deep breath and realized she was still crying. Between her tears, she schooled her voice and answered back, “I’m fine, Mulder. I’m just—” she couldn’t even finish so she stifled her gasp and continued pouring out her pain in the now damp towel.

As he listened carefully on the other side of the door, Mulder leaned his body against it while he held his balled up fist tightly to his lips, choking on his own whimper. For the most part, he could handle his own grief. Hell he’d been doing it most of his life, but hearing Scully break down just feet away from him was the worst kind of torture. He recognized the pattern of coping with loss when it came to his Scully, yet it never got any easier to handle for either of them. Her father, Melissa, and Emily had flickered through his mind. He had far too many points of reference in the grieving department to look back at in regards to her emotional pain tolerance.  

Yet little did she know, Mulder had done that very same thing just an hour earlier while out on his morning run. He ran himself ragged trying to loosen the knot of sorrow in his chest and rid the sour ache in his gut. After running his first two miles, he’d lost control and started hyperventilating as he stumbled over to the nearest tree to empty the contents of his stomach while he retched and sobbed as cars flew past. Neither physical ailment had anything to do with excess exertion.

Mulder felt completely helpless to take away her pain and depression, especially when he couldn’t even help himself with his own. He felt both heartbroken and numb at the same time. He just couldn’t embrace his feelings when they came, so in turn, he pushed them away and allowed them to fester. He was so damn confused, so full of emotion, yet so scared to let them all out in front of her, afraid his darkness would swallow them whole. He’d known even with his own inner battle of good and evil, she came first.

After all, he was her constant and she was his touchstone.

The door then clicked and swung open with his teary-eyed and defeated looking Scully then falling into his wide open arms as the vast amount of keening continued to roll out of her tiny body. Mulder pulled her in tightly and gently trailed his hands across the back of her ribs. Scully instantly sighed in relief of his comfort and wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing him as close to her as she could while trying to ease both their struggles.

Mulder knew he didn’t need to say words to comfort her, yet he swallowed his own heartache long enough to press his lips against her ear to whisper, “oh, baby let it out. I’m right here. I’m here, Scully.”

Minutes later, she finally nodded her head as her sobs began to lessen to trickling tears. Mulder bent down and turned his face into her cheek to kiss the remaining droplets away, breathing in the her soothing familiar scent.  

“I’m so sorry, Mulder,” she breathed out, barely audible and feeling completely out of control and vulnerable. Feelings Dana Scully had never been okay with expressing around anyone except Mulder, yet even Mulder had rarely seen her break down.  

If this wasn’t something she had said every year on this day to him, he might not have known what she had uttered through her whispers. His strong rock solid other half was hurting and it was killing him. All he could do was hum deeply and tuck her head up under his chin to let her feel his heart beating only for her, always her.

“You know you don’t have a thing to be sorry for. You’re so strong. So much stronger than I am, Scully,” he said vehemently. “You saved our son, you saved his life and my own. Don’t you dare apologize for that,” he was forceful in his attempt to make her see the justification of her actions as his hands soothed up and down the slight curves of her back, trying to give reassurance.

She said nothing—only squeezed her arms around him tighter as she buried her face up into the curve of his sweat slicked neck. While he swallowed his own grief, he put her before himself and asked, “what do you need, Scully? Tell me what you need, anything you need and it’s done, okay?” She only swiped at her face and nodded her acknowledgment into his chest, pressing her lips into his sternum while no more words were said from either of them.

Time slipped away as they stayed entangled in each other’s arms. He in a sweat soaked t-shirt and shorts, and her wearing only his shirt he’d tossed on the floor the night before during shared passionate coupling, comforting one another until their eyes ran dry.  

----------

[mydeerfriend]

Catch up on the previous chapters here.

I’m sorry for the long wait and that I’ve given up the hope on something vaguely resembling a regular posting schedule, but if you bear with me I hope you enjoy the next chapter! This one is for @outlanderedandoverhere and @rxqueenruby - and thanks to @lenny9987 for giving it a read-through! 

And hey, it’s the longest one yet ;)

Chapter 5

                     ~Brianna~

Are you alright?

Brianna opened her eyes to see Roger Wakefield hovering anxiously by her side. He raised his hand to touch her arm, but decided against it and ran his fingers awkwardly through his hair instead. Strangely enough, she felt alright - in a curiously detached way, almost as if this had happened to someone else and she had been only present as a witness.

"I think I'm fine," she replied slowly and tried to give him a reassuring smile, but judging from the worry in his eyes, she wasn't very convincing. Not until Roger turned away from her and spoke a few words to someone did she notice Geillis standing in the hallway. They seemed to have reached some sort of agreement and he went off with a last glance at her. Geillis hurried to her side immediately and led her to the sink. Brianna stared at her reflection in the cracked mirror; her face was pale and her eyes had a disturbingly expressionless look to them. Turning on the cold water, Geillis urged her to clean up. Obligingly, she splashed her face and rinsed her mouth, the cold water on her skin making her feel a bit more like herself again. In this moment, Roger returned with a tumbler filled to the brim with whisky. She wrinkled her nose at the smell, having tasted the vile stuff earlier, but he insisted that it would do her good. So she downed the glass in one and grimaced as the liquid burned its way down her throat. After a time, the burning sensation subsided and Brianna could feel the warmth settling in her stomach and spreading through her body. It brought a bit of color back to her cheeks and cleared her head enough to think again. "Better?" Roger asked. She nodded, trying to look anywhere but in his eyes. Unfortunately, the whisky had erased the pleasant numbness along with the shock and she felt unsettled by his gentle concern. She didn't know exactly why it was bothering her so much. Maybe because she had liked to believe herself strong and independent, capable of handling any situation she was thrown into, but clearly she had overestimated herself. His genuine apprehension was probably pushing her bruised ego too far. He seemed to sense that she would rather be left to herself for a moment and a nod was everything he was likely to get and didn't press her any further. "I need you to make a statement for the dean, do you think you can do that?" he asked instead. She gave him another nod and he took it as a sufficient confirmation.

Not ten minutes later, the whole party was assembled outside the pub and headed back to the college. It could have almost been a perfectly usual and unassuming walk if not for the way Roger Wakefield gripped the elbow of one particular student just a bit too tight and Brianna Randall clung to the arm of her friend just a trifle stronger than on the way there. Although some of the other students had directed a few curious glances at them when they had returned to the main room, most of them had been too blitzed by then to notice anything. Bree was glad that Roger had handled the situation so well and hadn't let on that anything was amiss. Brianna and Geillis were walking only a few paces behind him this time, just enough people between them to keep their distance and not leave him out of their sight. When the merry party arrived back at their starting point at last, Roger counted them again carefully before giving his permission to leave. The party began to disassemble slowly, students setting off for their respective dorms until only the four of them were left. Brianna was purposely keeping her distance and by now she wasn't entirely sure anymore if it was out of fear or if she wanted to avoid punching the wretched sod that had dared to shake her so. The walk through the fresh night air had done her much good, but it had also fueled her indignation and anger. Roger Wakefield seemed, once again, to sense her reluctance to share any proximity with her erstwhile assailant and gestured for Martin, the porter on night duty who had come to greet them, to come over and take Bonnet into custody. "Take him to the dean's office, aye?" he instructed with a friendly clap on the back. Then he turned back and approached them with his keys in hand, fumbling to single one out. "You can wait in my office while I fetch the dean. She'll want to talk to you first, so it won't be long I hope." Brianna thought he would offer the key to Geillis, but he stopped in front of her and held it out for her to take. Their fingers brushed when she took hold of the office key and Roger gave her a tight smile and a grim nod before he disappeared abruptly.

Brianna sat in the same chair she’d been sitting in just this morning - had it really only been a few hours ago? - and waited for Mr. Wakefield's return. She was feeling unaccountably nervous considering she had done nothing wrong, but an interrogation by the dean was bound to make anyone feel like a schoolgirl caught with the hand in a cookie jar - she was resolved to put on a brave face though. She had met the dean last week at the welcoming ceremony for the new students and had found her to be very approachable, but a little on the authoritative side. She certainly knew what she wanted and was probably used to getting her way - Bree just hoped that her view would concur with her own. Finally, the door opened and Brianna was relieved to see that she needn't have worried about her reception - Roger had obviously filled the dean in on the way and she gave her a kind smile that betrayed no sign of pity or mistrust as she introduced herself. "Edwina Briggs, nice to meet you, Miss Randall." She seated herself in Roger's chair, leaving him to hover awkwardly as she and Geillis occupied the only other seats, before he settled on leaning against his desk. Brianna couldn't think of anything to say, so she waited for the older woman to start the inevitable conversation and she came straight to the point. "I would like you to tell me everything that happened tonight, if you feel up to it. " She looked at her expectantly, like she wasn’t used to being refused, but Brianna was prepared to do as she asked. She took a deep breath and nodded, taking a few moments to organize her thoughts. Just as she was about to speak, Roger interrupted her with a hasty exclamation. "I can just leave if you feel uncomfortable speaking about it in front of me..." It isn't like I'll be comfortable either way, she thought, and strangely, she didn't want him to leave. "No, it's okay; stay." And so she told them. How she had waited for Geillis in the hallway. How he had come along and chatted with her pleasantly. Taken her by surprise and pulled her into the men's room. Pinned her against the wall and thrust his tongue into her mouth, pressing his body up against her. How she always thought something like that would never happen to her, and if it did, she would fight back. She couldn't bring herself to look anyone in the eye, so she fixed her gaze on the table instead, examining the papers, books and bric-a-brac scattered over its surface. "And I don't think it was the first time he did something like this, either. The way he grabbed me -" she shuddered, the memory flashing before her eyes "- he knew exactly how to hold me so I couldn't struggle." Her eyes still firmly fixed on the table, she noticed Roger leaning forward slightly, his shoulders tensed and his hand gripping the table, fist clenched and knuckles white. "It's not your fault!" he exclaimed suddenly. “That wee bastard took ye by surprise, thinking you were his to do as he pleases without consequences and he deserves what's coming his way." "I wouldn't put it quite like that, but he's right," the dean stepped in. "I don't want you to worry about it, I'll deal with him and see to it that he won't come anywhere near you again."

 That seemed like a great opportunity to end the less than comfortable conversation, so she stood and thanked Mrs. Briggs for her understanding. Then she turned to Mr. Wakefield, but he had already moved across the room in the direction of the door.  

 “Uhm, Mr. Wakefield?” she asked tentatively and followed him to the door.

He turned to her immediately and looked her straight in the eye. She forgot what she had wanted to say, flustered by his stare.

“I, uhm, just wanted to thank you for, you know, coming when you did,” she stammered. “And now I probably owe you a coffee and a whisky,” she added impulsively, trying to make light of the situation. When he failed to respond, she felt heat creeping up her cheeks, but she stubbornly held his gaze until he looked away.

 “Oh, erm, no, it's alright,” he said in a  distracted way and opened the door for her. “Good night.” He hastily closed the door behind them, but Bree thought she had spied a hint of red on his cheeks as well, although it was hard to tell with that shaggy beard.

Baffled, she stepped into the hallway and Geillis followed, giving her a quizzical look. She just shrugged and set off for home, but silently she wondered what that had been about. Next on: feat. Roger just out of the shower and a return to the actually intended plot. Also glasses.

[supergirl-imagines]

One shot prompt contest idea: The reader was hired to seduce/get close to Lena by Lex/Cadmus but ended up genuinely falling in love with her

“Lena, I can’t lie to you anymore.”

Your voice trembled as you locked eyes with the woman you had been deceiving for two months.  When you had come to National City with a newly revived bank account and a pile of documents about the Luthor heiress, you had told yourself that business was business and the $200,000 Mrs. Luthor had wired to you would justify whatever you had to do from here on out.

Lena didn’t say anything, but set her pen down on her desk and waited for you to explain yourself.  You shut the door to her office, feeling her eyes on you the entire time, and remained standing at the far end of the room.

“I didn’t come to this city with good intentions.  I came here and applied at L Corp because I was hired to by your mother to get close to you.”

The words tasted badly in your mouth and sweat coated your palms.  You felt sick.  

“Why are you telling me?”

Her voice was emotionless and Lena’s gaze hardened on you.  You could see anything she had ever felt towards you dissipating.  Your chest ached.

“Because I can’t lie to you anymore, Lena.  I care about you and this is the first time I haven’t been able to complete a job.”  You walked towards her desk swiftly and sat down in the chair across from her.  As soon as you did, she rose and went to her window.  

“Am I supposed to feel sorry that you couldn’t go through with lying to me?”

“No, but you need to know that I’m not lying now.  Lena, your mother wants you dead and I’ve been feeding her fake intel for a while now, but you have to get out of this city now.”

“I don’t hide from my mother and I’m not about to start now.”

“This isn’t about your pride!” You stood up from the chair and went to the window despite knowing that she wouldn’t want to be near you.  “Lena, she’s already sent someone.  I was dismissed today, which means she thinks that she isn’t going to need information on you anymore.”

“Then I suppose you should be on your way.”

“I’m not leaving National City without you.”  You hesitated before putting your hand on her arm.  She flinched away from your touch.  “I love you, Lena.  Please, give me a chance to make this right.”

Silence fills the lavish office and you felt panic start to rush through your bloodstream.  

“I won’t leave without you, Lena,” you repeated softly.  She finally turned towards you and you feel an invisible punch to the stomach when you see the way her eyes are watering.  You’ve done a lot in your life, but nothing had ever hurt you like this.  

“Fine, but don’t you dare think that I trust you.”

“That’s fair,” you nodded; voice thick with emotion.  “Can you be ready at the piers by five?”

Lena nodded and you took it as your cue to leave.  Even leaving her alone for a few hours terrified you.  Intel was always your specialty and right now, you had none.  As you walked out of the office, you found yourself wondering whether or not Lena would even show up.  She had no reason to take your word for anything.  All you could do was pray that she would at least hold some faith in you as you packed your limited belongings into the black Audi you had purchased that afternoon.  You weren’t taking any chances about not having enough power or speed to escape a threat in the event that someone caught onto Lena’s departure.  The other thing that you purchased was a 9mm with the serial number sanded off.  

———————————————————————————————————

The sun was starting to set by the time you parked along the pier and you leaned against the hood of the sleek black car with your back towards the water.  Your pistol rests against your torso from its spot in the waist of your jeans.  

By 5:07, a taxi rolled up and you straightened your posture when it stopped in front of you.  Your heart hammered in your chest as Lena stepped out of the backseat and you waived the driver off when he went to get out.  The dark haired woman got into the passenger seat of your car without a word as you pulled her single black suitcase out of the cab’s trunk and handed the driver a handsome tip.  You waited until his vehicle disappeared down the street before looking away and putting Lena’s luggage into your trunk.  For all you know, someone could already be tailing her.

“You didn’t notice anything suspicious?” You asked upon reentering the Audi and starting it’s engine.  The machine roared to life and you threw it into drive before heading towards the street.  Your knuckles were turning white from the force with which you gripped the leather steering wheel.  

“No,” Lena answered curtly.

That was the only bit of dialogue between the two of you for the duration of the drive.  You wanted to say something; anything to make the tension lessen or make her hate you less.  But, you knew that no combination of words will make things better so soon, so you turned on the radio and took the first exit ramp you saw out of the city.

——————————————————————————————

“Lena?”  You cautiously touched the sleeping woman’s shoulder, not wanting to scare her, and drew back when she jolted awake.  

“Where are we?” She asked.

“About an hour outside of Metropolis,” you replied.  Undoing your seatbelt, you opened your door and popped the drunk open to retrieve your things.  Lena rose from the car and you scanned the dark parking lot warily; still unsure of whether or not you were being followed.  

“I know it’s not the Hilton, but we’re pretty far from any main roads,” you nodded towards the dingy motel and pulled your bag and her suitcase out.  Lena didn’t respond and you lowered your gaze as you closed the trunk and sighed.  

After checking in under a fake name with one of the IDs in your wallet, you took the key for your room from the disinterested woman behind the front desk and walked to the end of the hall, where your room was.  You had requested one close to an exit, which wasn’t an uncommon demand in motels like this.  

As soon as you unlocked the door, Lena slipped past you and quickly shut herself in the bathroom.  The CEO gripped the edge of the cheap ceramic sink and stared at herself in the mirror; willing herself not to cry.  Nevertheless, her breath hitched in her throat and she quickly turned on the faucet to mask the sounds of her losing it.  

It took a lot for Lena to let someone in.  Growing up in the family that she had been adopted into left little room for affection or trust.  She was a rich, powerful CEO and that meant everyone who put themselves in their circle probably had an incentive for doing so.  

When you had come in for your interview, Lena had realized three things; that you were intelligent, overqualified for the position you had applied for, and that you knew both of those things.  Nevertheless, you had shook her hand and assured her that you were very excited about the possibility of working for her company and that you looked forward to hearing from her.

When you had come into your first day as her new assistant the next week, she tried to keep the usual distance she had with her employees.  But, you were charming and pretty and pretty insistent when you told her that it really wasn’t a bother for you to stay late so often and when you started bringing her dinner she found that she really enjoyed spending time with you after-hours.  

One evening, you had just pulled your jacket on to leave when Lena summoned you over the intercom to come to her office.  When you let yourself in, the CEO offered you a glass of bourbon and that glass quickly turned to several between the two of you.  She had insisted upon you calling her by her first name and you found yourself focusing less and less on getting information out of her as the two of you spoke.  

By midnight, the two of you were still drinking and moved to the balcony outside of her office.  Most of what you told her about your past was truthful; how you spent your entire adolescence in the foster system and did several stints in a juvenile detention center before you turned 18 and got a full ride to Cornell because of your remarkably high SAT scores.  You found yourself respecting your real employer less and less as Lena revealed parts of her childhood.  

It had never been clear to Lena whether it was the alcohol or the sudden vulnerability she felt opening up to you that made her press her lips against yours that night.  The two of you had shed your clothes right there on the floor of her balcony with the sounds of the city below.  Guilt flooded your system and mixed with the lust you felt as her nails dug into your flesh, but you didn’t stop what happened that night and you let it continue happening for there on out.

—————————————————————————————————————

After a while, you heard Lena turn on the shower and decided to open one of the bottles of liquor you had thrown in your duffel bag.  Giving up your sobriety while potentially having an assassin on your trail wasn’t the best idea, but your conscience was eating you alive at this point and you needed a drink.

Choosing vodka so that the burn would at least serve as some kind of punishment, you opened the bottle and took a long swig from it.  Desperate for some sort of noise to fill the silence that had followed you since Lena’s office, you turned on the TV and paced back and forth with the vodka bottle in hand.

Lena exited the bathroom nearly 40 minutes later, wrapped in a towel and stripped of her make-up.  Her eyes were red and you took another drink, knowing that she had cried because of you.  Out of respect, you turned away so that she could get dressed and continued to sip from the bottle as you stared at the closed blinds covering the window.  For good measure, you had also propped a chair up against the door handle in case the deadbolt and chain lock failed you.

“So, how much did my mother pay you?”

“Is knowing gonna make you feel better?” You turned around and held out your bottle.  After a few seconds and a steely glare, she walked over and took it from you.  

“No,” she grimaced after a long drink, “but tell me anyway.”

“$200,000.”

“Wow,” Lena’s eyebrows rose and she smiled wryly.  “That’s all it took?”

“I’ve done a lot more for a lot less.”

The alcohol was making you more transparent than usual, but what was the harm in that now?

“So, was fucking me part of the deal too or just a bonus?”

Lena sat on the end of the bed nearest the window and took another drink.  Your hands clenched at your sides.

“It wasn’t like that,” you practically whispered.  Lena scoffed and you heard the vodka slosh around against the glass sides of the bottle.  You began to feel lightheaded.

“How am I supposed to believe anything you tell me?”

“I don’t know!”

Your voice cracked and your eyes stung with the threat of tears.  How in the name of God could you have let this happen?  

“But, I love you, Lena.  I’ve never lied to a client before, but I started feeding your mother false information the morning after…after we got together.  I’ve never bailed on a job before.  I’ve never felt the way I feel about you before.”

Tears streamed down your face and you hurried to wipe them away.  Lena was finally looking at you again and while you wanted to say something else, you were at a loss for words.  Her eyes searched yours for what felt like minutes.

“What’s going to happen after tonight?”

“I call the prison your mother is at and leave an anonymous tip about her hidden cellphone.  She’ll get put into solitary for at least three months for having that kind of contraband and…and if you want I can have a hit placed on her for when she gets put back into general population.  Whoever she hired to hurt you will take off with the money sooner or later after they can’t get in contact with her, and then…things should go back to normal.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll do whatever you ask me to…even if that means leaving you alone,” you admitted quietly.  As much as the idea of never seeing her again made you feel like you couldn’t breathe, you owed her that much.  Mattress springs creaked as Lena stood up, booze still in hand, and walked over to you.  Your pulse sped up.

“I should hate you,” she murmured.  You nodded in acceptance.  “But, I can’t.”