#5 out of 10 books if I'm lucky?

[infriga]

Broke: I don't read as much as I used to.

Woke: I read twice as much as I used to, plus now I can tailor the experience to my exact preferences.

[literaticat]

I'm at my wit's end. I've spent a decade trying to break through - 10 years with 5 novels coming super close with a variety of big publishers, who rave about my writing, ideas, etc. Feedback has been mostly positive. One even rejected saying "I don't know why we're rejecting this, it's EXACTLY what we're looking for and ticks all our boxes, but we feel compelled to reject it anyway." Is there just a "Do Not Publish" sign on my head? How to keep pushing ahead after so long and so much rejection?

(OP continues...) "Sorry about the rant, Jenn, and I know there's not much you can say as you don't know my specific situation. But it's just maddening. 10+ years of my life! I know everyone faces rejection, but I seem to mostly get positive feedback and so many "close calls" of almost getting a deal - a lot of interest, but then it just peters out. That "compelled to reject anyway" just made me start feeling like I'm just fated to never be published, no matter what? I'm unagented now, starting from scratch..."

OK first of all -- that rejection, if that is literally what they said, is utterly insane. I have to presume (HOPE? PRAY?) that you are paraphrasing, that that is what it *felt* like to you, but that's not LITERALLY what they said??? Because there are certainly things where, on the surface, yes, this is what a publisher is looking for and it "ticks the boxes", but ultimately, it doesn't have that X-factor, je ne sais quois, or whatever -- so I can see a publisher saying something like, "while the writing is admirable and the premise is interesting, ultimately, we weren't compelled enough to make an offer for publication" -- which is ALMOST what you said, but there's a key difference that makes it actually normal and not insane. Because in YOUR version, it sounds like they are under an imperius curse or something, where they don't know what they are doing or why they are doing it, they just have to do it, even though it is against what WOULD be their better judgment if they weren't cursed. And... it's wild to think that a publisher would make a statement like that. (Maybe they were having a very OFF DAY???) -- BUT ANYWAY, on to the crux of your question/rant:

I understand your frustration. If it makes you feel any better (??), you're not alone. I know many -- MANY -- MANY career authors, who spent 10 years honing their craft, trying and failing, getting rejections, getting close-but-no-cigars, etc. I was chatting with a wise (and now famous) author I know, who spent 10 years or so in the query/wrong-agent/rejection/close-call trenches. She told me a theory that I feel pretty sure is right, though I don't have proof per se, it does track with my observations. She said:

Just about everyone who sticks with writing or the arts in general as a career has about a ten-year rough patch. That doesn't mean it takes everyone ten years to get published! (Though it does take LOTS of people 10+ years) -- Some lucky people get their break a lot sooner than that. BUT. Everyone has to pay the piper that ten year fee, either all at once, or in installments. So let's say you sell your book right away and start raking in the accolades etc -- fab! Just know that nobody stays popular and beloved forever, and at some point, the ten year slump is coming for you. Aren't you lucky that you're getting yours out of the way now?

OK, if that didn't work for you, how about this:

How to keep pushing ahead after so long and so much rejection?

You know you don't have to, right?

Like, if writing and seeking traditional publication is making you miserable -- you can stop. In fact, stopping may be a great idea.

I say this not to be discouraging, but rather, encouraging, actually. I encourage you to give yourself permission to prioritize your own mental and emotional well-being.

If you realize you miss writing and can't live without it -- go back to it! But maybe instead of having "publication" as your goal, your goal can be writing for the pure joy of it, without worrying about future queries or would-be agents or anyone else's expectations. What freedom! Embrace that!

Then when you do have a brand-new shiny manuscript, you can decide your next steps. Maybe it's trying again for traditional publishing, and this is the turn around the track that changes everything. (It should be close, if the 10 year theory is correct!)

OR, maybe it's self-publishing. (Lots of people have a lot of success there -- maybe you're one of them!) --

OR, maybe it's just chilling out and writing some more for your own pleasure -- creating art for the sake of creating it, for fun, for self-fulfillment, etc. Like, you know, a normal hobby, that nobody is expecting you to monetize or make into a "gig".

[smicksstuff]

summary: Yn is back in England after the thrilling start to the F1 Season in Bahrain. She has got a week to spend before jetting off to Jeddah with her big bro. Who will be the lucky few who gets to enjoy the company of the one and only yn gasly?

read Part 1 and Part 2 here

The PitBox Crew Series

Mischief Managed

f1 drivers x yn gasly

instagram edit

8 March 2023

yngasly

Hogwarts

liked by mickschumacher, lance_stroll and 973, 038 others.

yngasly It's wingardium leviOsa, not leviosAH. (ft the best tour guide in the world & lando)

view 567 comments

maxfewtrell ❤️

landonorris WOW i see how it is !

yngasly it is what it is

charles_leclerc next tour is maranello 🔜

yngasly cant wait!! i would love a ton of ferrari merch too #55 please 🙏🏽

carlossainz55 YESS! i found my favourite gasly!

pierregasly HEYYYY!!

charles_leclerc sorry i think the tour is fully booked 😕

yngasly itsokay then, im sure carlos or arty would bring me there 😎

liked by arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 567 others

charles_leclerc oh wait look at that my schedule is free now

sharl can we appreciate the fact that charles tried to be mean and failed miserably 😂

mickschumacher cant believe you went to harry potter world without me 💔 some kind of bestie you are 😭

schumacher47 mick being upset about not going to harry potter world is upsetting me

yngasly im sorry bestie we can go again tgt 🥺

mickschumacher you are paying

yngasly ME? FINE its on me

mickschumacher 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

yngaslyfc OMG the gasly genes are amazing! I'm in love 😻

pedrofans the hat and the nails and the fits!! her aesthetic is too die for 😍

landino yn hanging out with lando and max sounds like a new trio in the making !!

norris4life or its a cover up and they are secretly dating 🤔

pierregasly so this is what you ditched me for ? im hurted.

yngasly its hogwarts pierre, you dont skip on hogwarts

lance_stroll did you just cast wingardium leviosa? ‘cause you’re sweepin’ me off my feet! 😍

sirlancelot what in the hogwarts is happening?

lancestrollfans oh my my lance what are you doing

yngasly its an A for effort definitely

liked by lance_stroll and 1056 others

mickschumacher @lance_stroll how do you feel right now?

chloestroll idk who that was but its not my brother i refuse to believe what i just read

scottyjames31 never ever gonna let you forget this!! its become a core memory.

ls18 lance just trying to shoot his shot

lancestrollfans a cheesy pickup line by strulovich is not what i envisioned myself waking up to.

rickybobby OMG she would have been a dannyric girl! their aesthetic just click so well!

liked by 1068 others

-

10 March 2023

lando.jpg

liked by yngasly, carlossainz55 and 956, 673 others

lando.jpg introducing my favourite people and yn

view 900 comments

yngasly WOW ! this is war now

lando.jpg you started it

maxfewtrell i feel so loved today ❤️

georgerussell63 what is yn playing

yngasly goat simulator

georgerussell63 why of all games that

yngasly lando didnt let me play on the sim 😭

lando.jpg but you were having so much fun on the goat simulator

yngasly im a quick learner! at least i didnt think that we needed to milk the goats 👍🏼

liked by lando.jpg, alexalbon, and 587 others

georgerussell63 that was low

gr63 not yn dragging george! i love her

alabono not alex liking the comment too

landino lando says “and yn” like she isnt the favourite one 😂

liked by 569 others

quadrantmania literally 5/9 of the photos has her in it

username4 he can do so much better than her fr, luisa is so much prettier than her

liked by 385 others

quadrantmania this is a hate free zone, please leave

ln4 umm is no one gonna speak about the rollercoaster pic ? or are we just assuming its yn?

landino …

username7 it better be someone else who would date her after all she did in milan

user2 what happened in milan ?

username7 why do you think she got shipped off to england?

-

11 March 2023

yngasly added to their story!

f1wags

London

liked by sirlancelot, landino, sharl, and 278, 688 others

f1wags Yn Gasly, youngest child of the Gasly family has been spotted in a cafe in London with a guy. Since her first reappearance into the F1 world at the Bahrain paddock in 2023, she has been linked with a few drivers such as the likes of Mclaren Formula 1 Driver; Lando Norris and Ferrari hotshot Charles Leclerc. What are your thoughts on who this mystery guy is ?

Who is Yn Gasly?

The 23 year old Gasly girl is the youngest of the 5 siblings. She is currently a student at The University of Buckingham studying Marketing and Media Communications. She transferred from Universita Iulm - Communications, Media and Advertising where she had been studying the past 2 years. Her transfer to England allowed her to accompany her brother at his new Formula 1 team.

The youngest Gasly grew up alongside Charles Leclerc, Esteban Ocon and Anthoine Hubert who was her best friend. Yn has always been an avid fan of racing. She used to kart with Pierre, Charles and Anthoine. Racing was not her passion however, she was always seen in the garages of Pierre, Anthoine and Charles, cheering them on at every race. Following the lost of her bestfriend, she left the racing scene and supported Pierre and Charles from the television screen. She made a return to the paddock this season sporting the Alpine colours of Pierre’s new team.

view 768 comments

lando4life that guy definitely is lando. they have been hanging with each other all week !!

landoooo i heard that she even appeared on max’s stream

ln4 i mean how can it not be lando, did you see the pictures he posted with her !!

landoo04 he posted a movie theater too on his jpg account too

sharl thats our monegasque king for sure! have you not seen the flirty comments they leave on each others post

sharl plus i mean they’d make a hot couple

landino charles hasnt been in london tho, he has been in italy all this while.

supermaxx thats our london boy lando for sure! their banter is beyond just friends.

liked by 700 others

estiebestie anyone for a second thought that maybe it was lance?

sirlancelot lance and yn have always been friends, the flirty comments is nothing new

premaagirls thats true!! they were good friends when lance was in prema

lancesgirls she and chloe have also been besties for a long time!!

f1fans how are yall so blind to the fact that she uprooted her entire life in milan just for pierre! i mean i cant believe she left milan because of pierre

yngaslyfc im pretty sure she had her reasons for transferring!

f1fans just imagine that you have to uproot your life for your sibling! she has been doing it her entire life just so pierre can race. its unbelievable the extents they go so they can race!

username3 how is this even allowed in this modern world! thats absurd!

yngaslyfc if you really read and understand pierre’s and yn’s story you will find out that yn did not give up her dreams or education for pierre! pierre and yn have always been an unbreakable duo.

yngaslyfc plus pierre has always been supportive towards yn’s aspirations, she has always been a priority for him. so i think you should get your facts right before commenting on them.

liked by yngasly and 68 others

-

13 March 2023

yngasly just posted a story!

-

credits: all pictures are found from pinterest and instagram

a/n: thank you for reading this far !! If you have any suggestions send them to me!! I would love to hear them ◡̈

if you would like to be tagged when new parts are released, drop your usernames in the comments!! 😁

[sadie-the-dragon-slayer]

Self / Independent Learner's Guide to Language Learning From Zero

-a mini study plan I used this for Spanish, French and Italian, it is my favourite way of starting to learn. It won't teach you the langauge but if this is your first time, if you feel confused and don't know where to begin, this is for you! -this is kinda romance langauge based but might give you ideas if you are learning from a different family too -this is very notebook / writing based since i prefer learning that way Step 1: Preperation

First of all, ask yourself "do i already have some amount of immersion in this langauge?" As humans, we learn from immersion a lot. Songs, but especially visual media is incredibly heplful. I never studied japanese but after watching a few animes i picked up 5-10 random words. Passive vocabulary, being familiar to most common words will be your biggest friend. If the answer is no, before start studying ANYTHING do some immersion. e.g. I watched dix pour cent for French and learned arrêt which means stop because characters were shouting to each other all the time.

After making sure you have some immersion or if you already have some, PREPARE YOUR RESOURCES. Make a file in your computer, reblog tumblr posts, save links. Search for pdfs in google. (x language a1 pdf / x langauge a1 grammar book / x language a1 reading) Free PDF's and and useful websites. The more the merrier. Why? Because when you actually start learning you will slowly realise them half of them are not actually useful, too advance, too simple, not in your preffered style etc. You will en up using same handful amount of resources again and again but before that, you have to TRY EVERYTHING. You are unique and so will be your learning process.

Google x language A1 curriculum. (you can try adding "pdf" at the end of sentence as well) It "probably/ hopefully" exists. If you can't find that way, learn which offical exam is necessary (e.g. for French it's DELF/DALF, in english there is IELTS and so many more) If you are lucky, you can find a langauge teaching enstitute's curriculum and you can find in what order they teach things. This was very helpful for me because sometimes you don't know what to study next, or just want to visualise what do you need to learn, it is helpful. I printed one out and paste it to the back cover of my notebook. You won't need this one YET. I'll explain in a second. Keep reading.

Get a notebook. I don't prefer books while learning from zero because it will be filled with vocabulary you don't know. My pereference is no squares no lines empty ass notebook and colorful pens. I'm a person of shitty doodles. I love to draw and visualise things. It really helps my brain. In A1, your knowledge is absouletly zero and your brain is about the explode with realising GREAT MASS of knowledge you need to learn in order to be "fluent" . So keep things away from being "too much" if you want to avoid a burnout.

Set a timer. If you want to avoid burnout, the secret is always quit when you feel like you can go another round happily. Quit when you are dopamine high. If you study too much, next day you'll wake up tired, want to rest etc. and make it harder for you to create a habit. I did this mistake with French by studying 4-5 hours everyday for around 30 days. I completed my challenge, completly quit and then didn't come back for MONTHS.

You will be re-studying A LOT. Language learning is repetition. You will start by studying "the A1 curriculum". But, because this is your first time your focus will be on the vocabulary and general comprehension. You are trying to re-wire your brain, and learn a different way of thinking and living. It's not easy. It will take time. It will be painful at times. But it is 100% worth it.

After you finished studying your curriculum, you'll take a short break and then study the curriculum AGAIN. For a second time. Because you already know the basics, this time you will be able to focus more on the little things you weren't able to comprehend the last time. e.g. articles or whatever little frustaring thing your langauge has. Also focus more on basic prononciation and especially reading aloud. Find a realistic text-to-reader. Copy-paste a text. Listen and repeat.

Get a new Youtube and Instagram account dedicated to langauge study. How many good resources exists and where they are is really depens on which langauge you are learning. For english, youtube is better. For French, instagram is better. You have to see for yourself. If you get a seperate account for your langauge algorith will learn faster and you won't be distracted by other stuff. Short form engaging videos are the best for absolute beginners. Re-watch things and try to repeat them out loud. It's called shadowing and is your future best friend.

If you want to learn how to speak, you first need to how to write. If you can't write sentences without looking at google translate (or reverso) you won't be able to make up sentences in your head. If you want to learn how to write, your first need to learn how to read. You need to start in this order but also don't be perfectionist. Do it even if you do it wrong. They will be fixed eventually and won't stick. Record yourself speaking even if the text you are reading is 90% google translated. Why? Beacuse speaking will enhance your vocabulary in a way no other thing can and that's the core of reading. So this isn't a linear thing. It's actually a circle!

Step Two! Ok, Sadie, i got my notebooks and read through all the warnings where do i start? *First page: [] means written is target langauge

[x notebook] x= your target langauge

Add something cute and make you feel happy to open up the notebook. It can a drawing, a picture, anything. First page is your entrance to your new home. Make it welcoming.

*[My name is X. I am Y years old. I live in Z.] *Greetings. Main articles if there are any. Yes, no, please, thank you. *What is your name, what do you do for living, how are you, where are you from, how old are you, how many langauges do you speak, numbers from 0-100. If there are multiple way of saying these things and probably there are, just write one. You will eventually learn others. Baby steps. *write a basic ass text of two people having a conversation asking and answering these questions.

*the alphabet and how to pronounce the letters. basic letter combinations that change into a different sound. a youtube video about this 100% exists.

*personal pronouns and if there is a "am/is/are" verb the conjugation of it. (in spanish there is two unfortunately) *artciles and basic noun endings. a couple exemples of nouns in x form but takes y article. *first 5 most common verbs. learn the conjugation, try writing basic ass sentences. (e.g. to come, go, have, speak)

*three more verbs (e.g. to eat, can, to want)

*take some time to fully comprehend. check your curriculum list to look and see if you want to add anything. e.g.for spanish that can be ser vs estar, for spanish is can be "how to ask questions in french" becaue it's way harder compared to other langauges.

*take some break from grammar and learn some vocab maybe. it can be colors, or feelings. (i am sad, i am hungry etc.)

*start studying most common verbs. usually a form of categorization exists. usually it's verb ending. (unless it's a language like turkish where every verb either ends with -mek or -mak lol.) Start with 10- 15 most common verbs. You will also be learning some vocabulary by default. (try to stick to regular verbs if you can, if not that's fine) (Do not learn any verbs you won't be able to use immediately.)

*Learn basic adjectives and how they work so you can form more detailed sentences.

*After comprehending how to form basic positive negative sentences and some verbs, congratulate yourself, because you deserve it! *Learn how tell time. "What time is it? It's x'o clock."

*learn clothing and how to simply describe physical look e.g. hair color, eye color, beard, glasses...

*learn the verbs of daily routine. be able to write a generic ass "i wake up, i do breakfast, i eat lunch at school, i sleep" sort of text.

*demonstratives. this that. these. those. you can add some vocabulary you like. this is a cat. this is a tree. you can add placement adjectives now or later. (the cat is under the sofa. the bird is on the table etc.)

*Now you know a lot of things! Take some time and focus a bit more on the vocab, let your brain process things, do some passive immersion. avoid a burnout at all costs. *learn how to say "there is" (if you want more vocab transportation and city centre themes can be included.) *learn how to talk about your hobbies. This is the generic A1 curriuculum. You are able to understand basic things, you have a generic comprehension. That's all it takes to be considered A1. If you want to pass it though, what you need is a good grammar source. For French and Spanish Kwiziq was very useful. I couldn't find a good online grammar resource for Italian yet. (please ask more experienced langblrs for recs.) Slowly learn more vocab (since A1 is more vocab based. If you hate Anki and Quizlet stuff check Linguno. Actually check Linguno anyway it's a banger and i'm gonna die on that hill.)

If you don't have have native friend to ask questiones and you don't have any ethical concerns ChatGPT can be useful. I'm using it for French for months. Why are we using this particle here, why this and not that, can you give me some example sentences.... you can play guess the animal, ask for writing prompts and then make ChatGpt find and explain your mistakes to you. It's very handy.

*Don't be scared to share about your journey on Tumblr and most importantly ENJOY!

[rmd-writes]

a love note (and some fics)

Sometimes I wonder if there's really anything bigger out there - the universe, some kind of higher power, fate - and then I think about how extremely lucky I am that I became obsessed with a certain tv show and its characters at just the right time so that I could befriend someone who then introduced me to a particular book at exactly the right time to fall in love with those characters as well. And then, because of my need to have more of those characters, I went looking for more stories about them at exactly the right time to meet a group of people (some of them together, some of them later, but that doesn't matter) who would go on to become my friends.

There must be something, right? To bring together a group of people who live in five to seven different time zones depending on the time of year. To create my safest spaces on the internet. To share not just our love for a book and its characters, but parts of our lives with each other. To have them all wedge themselves into the soft spaces of my heart and never leave.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last two weeks, because those people conspired and collaborated to gift me a collection of 10 incredible fics for a milestone birthday (tomorrow!) - even though some of them haven't written fic for months and months, or don't write for this fandom at all anymore, or have recently been finding it hard to make words work and finish fics, or are just plain busy with other projects and life. That they took the time to find and make words for me means everything and more 💖💖

I've been absolutely overwhelmed with love these past 10 days (probably to the surprise of no one, I have cried at every single fic drop and I'm crying writing this now). So, I want to share the wonderful fics that they've written for me with you all because it's the least I can do to pay it forward and they're objectively stellar fics. If you haven't come across them already then you should definitely add them to your to read lists/open tabs/MFL. Please show my friends some love and read their work.

The Rae of Sunshine! collection, in order of publication (with my very short summaries):

Take It Back (4.2K) by @three-drink-amy

Henry is the head chef at a French restaurant and there's one patron who keeps sending his dishes back. How can they resolve this?

Dick, Dick Dick (You Down) (10.2K) by @everwitch-magiks

Alex runs the craft services trailer on the set of actor!Henry's latest movie. Is he the only person who sees behind the façade?

A deceptively soft story, given the title.

Precious Love (1.3K) by floatingaway4

The fluffiest follow up to one of my favourite AUs Amigos y Migas (aka the food truck au).

Midnight ice cream (5.8K) by @the-amber-fox

Emotional support Cornettos? More likely than you think.

Make it Right (5.3K) by @three-drink-amy (that's right, Ally wrote me TWO FICS)

A rogue little Tarlos fic in amongst the firstprince - a post-season 1 canon divergence that sees TK working in a taco truck while he finds his feet.

a taste of life (7.4K) by @indomitable-love

A journey through Henry's life, told through food. (This one is not my summary, indomitablelove already summed it up perfectly)

Risotto + Melanzane + Dolce (a love story) (16.8K) by @villiageidiot

Alex starts working at an Italian restaurant and is terrible at his job. Somehow, Henry doesn't seem to mind.

Cursed is a State of Mind (WIP) by @welcometololaland & @dustratcentral

A 5 + 1 treatise on cursed coffee consumption.

12 Year Starter (6.6K) by @clottedcreamfudge

When Pez can't make it to Henry's Michelin-star birthday dinner, he arranges for Henry's friend, Alex, to take his place. Featuring CCF's signature banter and fun, and a menu that I wish was real.

Pour Your He(art) Out (WIP) by @athousandrooms

A 5+1 ode to latte art (featuring actual art!)

You can find the entire collection here on Ao3.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's weird where I am right now, Okay?

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top. However, I've put quite a few on hold for travel reasons.

Oct 2023 Wk 4

Only a few screen shots for you this week, my hotel wifi is actually THAT bad.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Classic unlucky in love failed crush on straight bestie = both v queer and v emo yaoi. I gotta say I like these actors way better in this than their previous series, and maybe that’s because Tew is more like Tul and I just like Meen better when he’s… erm… mean. All of which is to say, this is off to a wonderful start and I am about to lose my very sleep deprived little mind... ready for a ABL ecstasy rant?

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN.

"I play support because that way everyone is happy to see me show up," might be the single best moment of characterization BL has EVER seen.

Look here, in the grand cornucopia of BL universes this is my metaverse. It's pulp... but relatively high production. It has an established pair that I know I like... but who were given crap before. It's a tidy little script, it's not gonna run too long, and it's ALL the archetypes and tropes I love but rarely see. It's Japan's style otaku plus Korea's style gangster, Thailand's style friendship group, and it arrived out of NOWHERE. It's Korea's IP & money, Thailand's talent, and China's streaming service.

Do we know what the hell is going on?

No we do not.

Do we care when it's this much fun?

No we do not.

(In this I speak for everyone... no, EVERYONE.)

This show I why I got into BL.

Don't bother me with trifles. Me and My Dear Gangster Oppa are sailing off into the infinite pixilated sunset together, thank you very much.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - I managed to watch most of it on low rez before YT "discovered" I was in Asia and therefore could not be allowed to watch Asian shows. (AKA my VPN failed me.) But it seemed like a good ep.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Lucky Love ep 10 of 24 - I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. 7/10 but close to an 8. It was really quite charming.

However: Next week looks not good on many levels - it's horror and I spotted guitar. Which is even more horrific. 

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - do temporal paradoxes exist in Thailand? That is the question. I gotta say Tor (Ongsa) is carrying this show and is doing a really great job, it's just the story itself doesn't resonate with me. Ugh it's so sad.

Is it, indeed, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

We only on ep 5 and had a full story arc already, there is A LOT more to go.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 9 of 10 eps - the fact that in losing Sky Venus also lost his surrogate family explains his resulting bitterness a little bit more. I wish we had gotten this back story much earlier. Still stupid pulp made me cry, which of course means it's back in my good books. This story is slow as fuck, but I'm going on a rollercoaster with it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 11 of 13(?) - I love them, okay? All of them. This is a great sappy classic Taiwanese BL and it is my baby and you can’t take it away from me. MINE. 

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 8 of 10 - oh noes it got sad, I thought they would at least would have had drunken sex before the drama. Sigh. Still the kissing was good, as it should be from Taiwan.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 4 of 5 - Amane is so brave. About being gay. Being out. Confessing. Its admirable if scary. Otherwise this ep was pretty slow. 

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga) 3-4 of 8 - how do I feel about this show? Conflicted. Are OnlyOneOf doing a great job? Yes, actually. Am I enjoying it? No, not really. Is this anyone's fault? I don't think so.

The little linguistic negotiation was cute tho. And we seem to have gotten idols kissing in a BL both in the same group, so that glass ceiling dildo has finally been broken.

NineMill are unexpectedly good, also KB plays a great evil ex. Of the 3, I think only Nine is good enough to go into acting permanently (but he's not tall enough). Still, all hail OnlyOneOf... kings of the "gay concept." You boys make me v nervous but as couple-branding goes, you just out branded Thailand. Mad props baibies. Legit never thought I'd see the day.

Trust Korea to be in it to win it.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6 of ? - i pretty much just forgot to watch this.

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch and do a series review in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - completed but I couldn't catch the last ep, my final thoughts in Nov.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 12 fin - completed, but see afore mentioned YT issues. I'll review it in Nov. I anticipate better internet soon.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) - adaptation of Harada’s manga of the same name (which I did not like) about a convenience store clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 1 of 14 - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

Upcoming November BL

11/3 Twins the series (Thailand ????) 1 of 10

11/17 Pit Babe (Thai) - Pavel my love!

11/19 Bake Me Please (OhmFluke but not, Thailand)

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Thailand) - horroresk

11/25 The Sign (Thailand) - horroresk

11/30 For Him the series (Thailand) - high heat

VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled

Cooking Crush (OffGun, Thailand) - may be delayed, there some kinda gossip/rumor/shade happening at GMMTV

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My Universe - I just enjoyed the angle of this kiss shot.

Uh huh. Sure, honey. (Bump Up Buisness)

COULD THIS EXPLAIN THE SNUFFLE KISS?!!!!

(Last week)

[hauntedwitch04]

Becky’s Halloween party!

Welcome to my Halloween party! I really love this feast, and I wanted to celebrate it with you all. I know that I’m already late, but here I am. I took some prompts from the internet, hope you like it. I’ll try to post everyday, but I can’t assure anything, I'm so sorry.

With love, your Becky,💫

DAY 1: “You can’t go out with such a thin jacket in October, you gonna get a cold!” with Steve Harrington

DAY 2:  “I love this song. It totally gives me Halloween vibes.” with Timothee Chamalet

DAY 3: "If you keep eating so many sweets you will get cavities." "I eat you out practically every day and my teeth are practically perfect." with Sirius Black 

DAY 4: “You know darling, it’s dangerous to walk around after midnight.” with Azriel

DAY 5: “You are scared of a crow?” “It’s a fucking crow in the middle of the night in October, obviously I’m scared.” with Eddie Munson

DAY 6: "You know, honey, as much as it costs me to admit it, your pumpkin is much more beautiful than mine." "Of course, I am the queen of pumpkins." with Steve Harrington (x Henderson!Reader) 

DAY 7: "You saw the ghost, too." "Love...it was a fucking bedsheet." with tasm!Peter Parker. 

DAY 8: "Did you buy a fucking cauldron?" "All witches need their cauldron to make potions, you dummy." with Ben Barnes 

DAY 9: "If you keep singing the Nightmare Before Christsmas songs, I think I won't make it to Halloween in one piece." "But at least you'll know them all by the time we see it on Halloween night." "Tell me we're playing trick-or-treating, because this is a fucking treat." with Andrew Garfield 

DAY 10: "Trick or Treat." "I choose treat, but I know something sweeter than this candy." "And what would that be?" "You." with Remus Lupin

DAY 11:  "You are the cutest ghost I have ever seen." with Dad!Steve Harrington x daughter x Mom! Reader

DAY 12:  "Feel lucky that I share my treats with you." "I left all the chocolate to you." "That's why I love you." with Remus Lupin 

DAY 13: "Why do we have to choose a pumpkin, we already have X that it is an empty head." with Azriel 

DAY 14: "I love spending my days with you in front of the fire and u good horror book in my hands, because I finally feel at home." with Regulus Black 

DAY 15: "Remind me never to let you tell a scary story again, I will have nightmares for the next ten years." with Eddie Munson  (for my sister) 

DAY 16: "Strange as it may seem, I love walking through cemeteries at night. Everything is so scary, gloomy, and finally you feel really alive." "Love, I think it's time to stop reading Edgar Allan Poe." with Regulus Black 

DAY 17: "What was that sound?!" "You stepped on a twig." "Why are there twigs on the ground!?" "Why are we in a freaking forest!" with Sirius Black 

DAY 18: "I love reading during the rain, but you know what I love most? Reading during the rain with you in my arms, with your intoxicating scent of cinnamon and chocolate that smells like home." "Man! You give me diabetes." with Remus Lupin

DAY 19:  "God, I wish it was Halloween every day if I could see you in that dress. You're the sexiest witch I've ever seen." with Joe Keery 

DAY 20: "If you eat so many sweets, your stomach will hurt." "Oh come on, I'm not a child anymore." "Does your stomach hurt?" "Shut up before I punch you." with Rhysand 

DAY 21: "You won't be able to convince me to enter that abandoned house." "Okay." "What, you don't insist?" "No, because apparently you'd rather be alone in the surroundings of an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere." "Fuck you." with Loki 

DAY 22: "Would you like to watch Corpse Bride? I've already made hot chocolate and lit the fire." "Are you asking me to marry you?" "Why?" "Because it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me." with tasm!Peter Parker 

DAY 23: "Tonight there is a full moon. Do you want to go watch it?" "No, sorry I can't tonight, I turn into a werewolf." "What?" "Stupid, of course I feel like going to see the moon with you." with Andrew Garfield

DAY 24: "Remind me never to let you drink at a party again, you looked possessed." "Well, at least I was in theme with the party since it was for Halloween." with Timothee Chamalet 

DAY 25: "Oh my God, did you see that beautiful cat!" "I wouldn't go too close, it's a black cat." "Really? Are you afraid of black cats? I didn't think you were so superstitious." "Well I have a witch in front of me, so I believe in everything now." with Steve Harrington 

DAY 26: "We could watch Sleepy Hollow." "I'm not going to watch another horror movie just because Johnny Deep is in it." "But have you seen how hot he is?"  with Ben Barnes 

DAY 27: "Why are you dressed as Dracula?" "Because it's my Halloween costume?" "I thought we decided to go as JD and Veronica!" "Well look at it from that point of view, they're both dead." "So will you be in a little while when I kill you." with Sirus Black 

DAY 28: "You got me candles!" "Cinnamon and lavender, your favorite."  with Remus Lupin 

DAY 29: "Wow, what is that on your neck? Oh my God it's a bite! Did a vampire bite you? Are you going to be like Dracula? Oh my God, oh my God that's cool." "No man another animal bit me: my girlfriend." with Steve Harrington 

DAY 30: "I will never again take a drink offered by you." "Why? Don't you like them?" "No honey, I love them, but I am more and more convinced that you are a witch and that you put love potions, because the love I feel for you is beyond imagination." with Azriel 

DAY 31: “I fucking love Halloween Party!” with the Marauders 

[pedropascalsx]

3000 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION POST!

- The fanfiction edition.

Hi friends! I don’t know how it happened but I hit 3000 followers recently and I feel unbelievably lucky! I joined this site just over a year ago and I have met many wonderful people and gained multiple friendships from doing so.

And I wanted to celebrate YOU guys and show some appreciation for the fanfics that have taken up space in my heart.

I will be posting a few different celebration posts, one for fanfics, one for people I follow and one more for the GIFs and fics that i’ve created and that i’m proud of.

The list is below in no particular order! They just happen to be posted in a way that my brain let me remember them. I limited the list to ONE fic per writer as I wanted to showcase as many people as I could; so please check out their entire master lists!

1. Weeknights by @frannyzooey - Frankie Morales x F! Reader.

2. Notes on Tutoring by @honestly-shite - Dave York x F! Reader.

3. Lay It On Me by @lavendertales - Javier Peña x F! DEA Reader.

4. The Crush by @the-ginger-hedge-witch Javier Peña x OFC Isabel!

5. Consent by @fuckyeahdindjarin - Dieter Bravo x F! Reader.

6. Celestial Navigation by @write-and-buried - Dieter Bravo x F! Reader.

7. Run to You by @foli-vora - Marcus Pike x F! Reader.

8. Silent Affection by @kteague - Frankie Morales x F! Reader.

9. Psychomanteum by @whatsnewalycat - Dieter Bravo x OFC Louella!

10. Another Way by @theewokingdead - Din Djarin x F! Reader.

11. Stitches by @djarinsbeskar - Din Djarin x F! Reader.

12. Stranger At My Gate by @leslie-lyman - Pero Tovar x Modern! OFC.

13. Sunshine on a Cloudy Day by @pedrito-friskito - Frankie Morales x F! Reader.

14. Intimidation Tactics by @whataperfectwasteoftime - Marcus Pike x Dave York x F! Reader.

15. Peñas Anatomy by @guess-my-next-obsession - Javier Peña x OFC/Reader Lucky.

16. Cognitive Dissonance by @prolix-yuy - Agent Whiskey x F! Reader Sugar.

17. Fix You by @astoryisaloveaffair - Frankie Morales x F! Nanny Reader.

18. My Best Friends Dad by @whiskeynwriting - Dave York x F! Reader.

19. Sinners by @brandyllyn - Pero Tovar x F! Reader.

20. Façade by @furious-rogue-stuff - Dave York x F! Reader.

21. Lie to Me by @iamskyereads - Javier Peña x F! Reader.

22. Ego & Black Powder by @psychedelic-ink - Pero Tovar x F!Prison Guard.

23. Saturdays with Javier by @wildemaven - Javier Peña x F! Reader.

24. Black Sheeps by @charnelhouse - Dave York x F! Reader.

25. Like a River by @radiowallet - Macus Moreno x F! Reader x Frankie Morales.

I also wanted to share TEN of my all time favourite stories by @absurdthirst because it’s literally impossible to pick just one.

1. Stormy Secrets - Dave York x F! Reader.

2. Starvation - Ezra x F! Reader.

3. Xingjião - Pero Tovar x F! Reader.

4. Married to the Mafia - Dave York x F! Reader.

5. Under His Skin - Dave York x F! Reader.

6. Late for Valentines - Dave York x F! Reader.

7. The Donor - Marcus Pike x F! Reader x Dave York.

8. Protective Big Brother - Frankie Morales x F!Davis Reader.

9. Murphy's Sister - Javier Peña x F!Murphy Reader.

10. Daddy Dieter - Dieter Bravo x F! Reader.

PLEASE NOTE - I AM DOING A FOLLOW RECS LIST NEXT!

If I follow you and you didn't make it onto this list - you will be on the next one! Also I will be doing a mini post for published and soon to be published books!

I'm sorry if anyone is missing, it's always a pain trying to remember everyone but this is a list of the fics that mean a lot to me and that i love so so so much!

[svgvru]

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓! since its NNN, im doing a fluffy or angsty event thingy. (i will be making a smutty fic on that). so...FLUFFVEMBER OR WHUMPVEMBER whatever the fuck you want to call it. regardless, there's gonna be one fic for every week, (maybe two if i'm feeling spicy) plus a fic on the last day of the month. but im not going to push myself this month. regardless, angst prompts and fluff prompts will be listed below (these will be used in the future).

just request a prompt (up to five) with any character thats in my fandoms list. here's the form to fill out!

𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙

1. "we can be sick together." 2. "your problems are my problems, okay!" 3. "i'm always here for you, i need you to know that." 4. "can we do that again? my eyes were closed." 5. "i love you." 6. "yes, i unfortunately love this idiot." 7. "your lucky you're cute." 8. "you and only you." 9. "oh? do i make you blush?" 10. "a hug . . . i want a hug." 11. "you don't need to do anything, i've got you . . . just say yes." 12. "you're everything to me." 13. "my place, is by your side." 14. "you're the only one who—the only one who's made me feel like . . . this." 15. "you're special. i can feel it." 16. "my heart yearns for you, and you only." 17. "if you can't find a reason to live, live for me." 18. "nah, your stuck with me." 19. "are you sure about this?" 20. "i have never been so sure about how i feel than now." 21. "it think i deserve a reward . . . maybeee a kiss?" 22. "do you want my jacket?" 23. "trust me, i can read you like a book." 24. "i've missed you." 25. "i am never leaving you, understand?!" 26. "just—just a little longer, please?" 27. "aren't you handsome? well, i mean your not handsome—wait no! i mean you are handsome! but i didn't mean it in a—well maybe i kinda did . . . just—! im gonna shut up . . . " 28. "the second you flashed that smile, i fell in love." 29. "you're my favorite . . . everything." 30. "i've got this, you rest." 31. "Just close your eyes . . . i promise you, it'll be all over soon." 32. "oh. oh." 33. "as much as i hate to say it! . . . i need you . . ." 34. "you're love is like a blanket . . . and fortunately i'm always cold." 35. "i will always choose you. whether it be over someone else, or the world. it will always be you."

𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗧

1. "i loved you . . . " 2. "you were everything to me . . . " 3. "i can't—i can't do this anymore." 4. "no, you're a widow (can be replaced with anything) who's taken her grieving too far." 5. "i guess i was too niave . . . " 6. "why did you make me fall for you?" 7. "nope . . . what i've fallen for is a lie." 8. "you don't get nor desreve a second chance!" 9. "guess i'm just the rebound . . . " 10. "you . . . turned me into this." 11. "i can't fight anymore . . . i wan't to lose this battle. please let me lose . . . " 12. "i wish you were gay . . . " 13. "i wish you were a girl." 14. "what if . . . what if i just let it kill me?" 15. "we aren't—good for each other . . . not anymore." 16. "you're not good enough for me." 17. "oh. oh." 18. "what are we if we aren't together?" 19. "i . . . I HATE YOU!" 20. "you lied to me . . . ?" 21. "my heart, my soul, my body . . . all of it to you. and you fucked (/fell for) someone else?!" 22. "you promised me . . . " 23. "im so sorry. im so so sorry!" 24. "i couldn't keep my promise . . . " 25. "please—please don't leave!" 26. "i never should've let you in." 27. "what makes you think you still have that privilege?" 28. "you can't leave and then demand something from me . . . " 29. "you broke me so devoid of care, threw me away like a toy . . . and you want me to welcome you back?" 30. "no . . . you lost me." 31. "oh? well where's that bitch?" 32. "you thought that wouldn't hurt me?" 33. "i . . . i hope they make you smile." 34. "no. this—is not who i fell in love with. you are no longer my husband/wife and i am no longer your husband/wife." 35. "give me my ring . . . you don't deserve to wear it."

more prompts are likely to be added! if there are requests, then i will update this post to have a masterlist! 2/5 SLOTS FILLED.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 745: At the window seat

Pag 1

1: The last

2 / 3: 200m!!

Pag 2

1: 150m!!

2: Sugimoto is still ahead!! Danchiku is behind!!

6: There are

Pag 3

1: 100m left!!

Pag 4

1: Issa.... are you watching, Issa

2: I've always been timid

3: I always pushed your back with all my strength

4: And then watched you being all frolic

5: I was satisfied

Hahaha!

Piece of cake!

Pag 5

1: When I was little, during school trips, on the bus

2: I won the window sit

I got it!!

3: I enjoyed looking at how the scenery changed outside the window

Oh, there are cows!!

4: The window seat is super nice!

But I was pushed by my friend

Neh, Danchiku, let's swap seats! Come on, Danchiku

6: Okay

Thanks!!

I gave up my seat

7: In the end

Amazing! What's that tower?

8: our seats stayed like the whole time

9: People also often cut the line in front of me

Sorry, Danchiku!

No, but the line....

Ah, you're so nice, Danchiku, so nice!!

Pag 6

1: After that, the girls scolded me, too

You're too nice, Danchiku!

Yes, yes

Well....

At times like that, you need to flat-out reject them!

Yeah, you're a guy after all

Yeah... you're right... indeed....

2: It bothers us, you know

Is it... my fault...?

3: Is it me....

4: I also yielded with bicycles

Move, slowpoke!!

5: “Move”.....

Ye... yes

Pag 7

1: If you don't want to win, then don't run in races!!

3: Riding was fun, so I started running with bikes, but

4: Indeed....

Want to win.... huh

5: I'm nervous....

I was even late for the start the other day

And I couldn't move forward.....

6: I guess I'll cancel my entry on the next race, then....

I thought I should stop

Pag 8

1: Oi, you

2: At that time....

Ah- ah

My bad....

3: I was thinking while walking... and since the street is narrow

You want me to give way!?

4: Even though I was just walking on the side of the road

5: No

6: You don't have to give up anything

Pag 9

1: Huh

2: You said “my bad”, but you're not at fault

3: I heard there's a guy who goes to the same school as me and who ride bicycles

A guy who runs seriously and practices properly!!

4: I'm looking for that guy

Looking for....

5: He called out to me so self-importantly

Pag 10

1: That guy was Kaburagi Issa!!

Team up with me, and let's become the best in Japan!!

2: The strongest local club team here is called “Team SS”

First, let's join it and train!!

Pag 11

1: That guy was saying things that made no sense, but he had said the two things I wanted to hear the most at that time

2: “You don't have to give up anything”....

“You're not at fault”......

3: So, too suddenly and without really understanding, I said yes

Huh.... yes

Alright, it's decided

4: Danchiku!? It's an unusual name, and that's important!!

It's important?

'cause it sounds kinda cool!!

Huh

5: I still think it wasn't a mistake

What a weird guy....

6: Because Issa never stole my window seat

7: And didn't cut the line in front of me

Waa Danchiku, I'm so behind you!

Haha

Lucky you, dammit

Pag 12

1: And with an overwhelming accuracy, he gave me instructions to move forward!!

Here, Danchiku, move forward!!

Yeah!!

Pag 13

1: It's SS!!

Kaburagi from SS is jumping forward!!

Danchiku is pulling him, that's bad!!

2: Let's win this race!!

Yeah!!

5: That's why I always dreamed of making you “frolic”

Hahaha

6: I pulled you, and you took the finish line

7: That was enough for me

Pag 14

1: But then, after he joined Sohoku, Issa started to say those things

2: Now!! You're next!! Get stronger!!

3: I had no confidence

….. yeah

I wasn't selected for the Inter High during our first year

4: And even when I was chosen for the “Minegayama” race during fall

5: Don't worry, you can win

6: Even though Issa cheered for me, I doubted myself

Yeah

7: Practiced hard, I ran on Minegayama, and somehow I won

Pag 15

1: But right after that, my condition got bad

3: As expected..... right....

Alone, I convinced myself I didn't have what it takes

4: I didn't rely on my heart

It was probably small enough to fit in the palm of my hand

5: I read so many books, trying to make it bigger

Pag 16

1: You can do it, don't worry, you have me with you

I can't wait for the Inter High...!!

You're making so many grains of rice fly around

2: Hahaha

3: When the training camp started, Touji-san gave me a new bike

4: And I became your buddy

5: There's something I noticed

Let's make a special technique

You can do it now!!

7: Ah....

Pag 17

1: I remember something I read in a book

2: “Four things necessary for a person who wants to build up self-confidence”

3: “Find the amazing within you”

“Praise yourself for it”

“Don't deny it”

“Keep polishing it”

4: These are ideals... there's no way anyone can do it

6: I want to meet someone like that, bring them to me...

I thought so, and so that time I put down the book

7: But

Pag 18

1: He was there, right in front of my eyes!!

Pag 19

1: It's been right in front of my eyes the whole time!!

2: The guy who finds the “amazing” in himself, who praises himself for it, and never denies it!!

3: I realized I've been with him for many years!!

4: So I feel like I'm starting to see the process to gain confidence in myself, Issa!!

Pag 20

1: Please look at me, Issa

I'll go to the Inter High!!

2: To prove that my heart is getting bigger, little by little

3: And to make you, who believed in me, even more frolic!!

5: Danchiku is shouting!!

6: He accelerated again!!

7: I'll become much stronger!!

Pag 21

1: Garuaaa!!

2: 50m left!!

They're neck and neck!!

(Thank you @monkeyingaround for beta-ing this chapter!! <33)

[butterflydm]

wot rewatch: 1x1 - leavetaking

Rewatching as prep for season two! These are going to be pretty spoiler-heavy for the books (will note how far) and kinda live-bloggy - I'm briefly pausing to note down thoughts but won't be writing out entire paragraphs. Just little notes as I go on.

Spoilers for the entire first season and some s2 spoilers plus through maybe The Dragon Reborn in the books. Maybe only The Great Hunt.

1. Fascinating how Liandrin's perspective on men and the One Power is the reverse of the truth. It's not men who make the Power filthy but the Power that makes men go wrong (because of the taint). I do think she genuinely believes what she's saying here though.

2. We get a lot of info from Moiraine and Lan here: we know there's an active prophecy, we know that the Dragon can channel, we know they should be 20 years old. We also see Moiraine's doubts and her wishful thinking both at play: she doubts/tests various parts of the prophecy but does not let herself believe he was gentled before he could ever be found.

3. The rumors in/out of the Two Rivers are interesting to think about - it sounds like the idea of ta'veren must be fairly widely known -- given that we know in TGH that at least one of Moiraine's eyes-and-ears is Tuatha'an, I wonder if the group of Tuatha'an near the Two Rivers that Egwene & Perrin run into (with Ila & Aram) is also the group that has Moiraine's spy, in the show canon. EDIT: we know from TDR about her spy, not TGH, lol

4. I am So Interested in whether or not s2 will get into the emotional details of Egwene not braiding her hair anymore.

5. It kinda feels like the show went more hardcore egalitarian for the Two Rivers than the books did -- we never hear anything about the mayor or village council and the women's circle is a rite of passage for womanhood as opposed to being a governing body.

6. Wolves! ❤

7. Some people apparently took Rand calling past-him a sap as him being... a Chad now? Very strange. He's obviously not being serious (and he brings Egwene a berry in this very episode).

8. The scene with the three boys is so good for establishing them as friends but also showing Mat is not supernaturally lucky here, and we see Rand and Perrin's concern and affection.

9. Enter our Mysterious Wanderers. It's a great dramatic entrance for our very Dramatic pair. Moiraine taking a good look around trying to clock all the twenty year olds.

10. So we get introduced to all the celebration and joy first... and then after Moiraine's intro, we get into the various emotional turmoils each of our younger cast are facing:

a. Perrin's marriage is somewhat troubled.

b. Mat's parents have created a troubled family life for him and his two sisters and he is basically the one raising his sisters even while having to deal with his drunk mom telling him he's a terrible person.

c. Rand and Egwene's relationship breaks up as they realize for the first time that they have grown into having incompatible life goals (a problem that will not go away even after their individual situations completely change).

Despite the idyllic scenery, the emotional undercurrents in the village are complex.

11. First we have Moiraine specifying that they need two beds and then we get the lovely non-sexual bath scene with Lan and Moiraine. I love how much we get to see Moiraine & Lan being platonic companions.

12. I like that Egwene and Rand truly care deeply about each other but that doesn't make their lives compatible.

13. Love how we go from the whistling background sound over the Fade to Fain actually whistling.

14. The next morning, we get Mat pawning the stolen bracelet -- this helps sets up why he steals the dagger later; Mat has an incentive to need money that isn't about being greedy. But then we also see in the later scene that his friends very much want to help him. And Mat shows deep emotional intelligence and concern with Rand as well.

15. Nynaeve gets knocked out as a Dragon candidate right away, due to being too old to be the prophecy baby. Sadly, in the process of figuring that out, Moiraine burns a bridge with Nynaeve (who already wasn't inclined to trust her).

16. The Wisdom cleaning the sacred pool fits very well with Nynaeve becoming a "servant of all" aka Aes Sedai (just like Egwene surrendering to the river is a mirror of surrendering to saidar). But also the Wisdom is really the only 'leader' that we get introduced to in the Two Rivers in the show.

17. I am very curious about if the issue of the Old Wisdom comes up again when Nynaeve is in the White Tower. Nynaeve does seem aware here that Listening To The Wind is connected to the One Power.

18. Again, I love how the Rand, Mat, Perrin friendship feels substantial here and not just because they're all the same age so they hang around together.

19. Love getting the themes here of rebirth and how the reincarnation aspect of the lore feels present in people's everyday lives.

20. Nynaeve being separate from all the other villagers so they can't see her pain. My heart!

21. Now that we've set up Life As It Is, it's time to break it so that the main story can start. Lan brings the news about the Fade & Trollocs and Moiraine confirms that she doesn't know which of the four kiddos is The One (a good thing, as it turns out).

22. Some good character work during the fight:

a. Nynaeve trying to protect and heal her people.

b. Fain just sauntering off without a care.

c. Mat going back into danger to save his sisters.

d. Perrin doing something to make him terrified of the violence inside hinsrlf.

e. We see that there's more to Rand's dad than meets the eye.

f. Rand defeats the Trolloc but at a cost (his dad getting horribly injured).

g. Egwene & Nynaeve both willing to fight back, even when they just have belt knives.

h. Once Moiraine and Lan are able to turn the fight (and we get some lovely choreography of then working as a team and seeing how Warders aid their Aes Sedai), the villagers take heart and really together against the Shadowspawn.

23. Overall just a good job showing how traumatic an attack like this would be.

24. Anyway, it felt clear to me that part of the reason our kiddos don't argue much with Moiraine after the battle is because they're all pretty shocked and traumatized. None of them have ever experienced anything like this!

25. I hope the implied flashback for Moiraine & Siuan in s2 has us getting the prophecy onscreen but it was still cool to hear Moiraine telling them about it here.

26. There's a great shot here of Moiraine facing Egwene and Rand and we see all three of them in shades of blue. Meanwhile, when we swap to Perrin and Mat, Mat has a tiny stripe of blue but the two of them are more earth-tones. Channelers vs non-channelers? Rand puts on an earth-tone coat as they leave - because he's going to be in denial?

27. Right now, Moiraine is saying they need to get to the protection of the White Tower (meaning Siuan and her attempts to ready the Tower). And that's a wrap on episode one!

[arxxq]

«𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒? 𝐍𝐀𝐇 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐒/𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒»

╰┈➤ ❝ [no way in hell will I ever fall for him/her!!] ❞

This is Itoshi Sae version

this was originally the collaboration with @asukasjinji​. srry for tagging you btw. 

also to those who sent request to me in my ask box (for the other collaboration...), i am so so sorry because i accidentally deleted everything in my inbox. i do remember some of the characters that were requested so with that i’ll try to make up for it by picking a prompt that is suitable with the character chosen. 

but if you still want what you originally request...i won’t forbid you from requesting once again.

i am very very sorry...i wanted to post this because i just felt like it. and if you have took noticed, i write based on what comes in my head and all of a sudden i have the motivation and ideas to continues this. 

Warnings: tons of swearing,

female reader 

lowercase intended 

mistakes will be fixed once i reread. 

•

Itoshi Sae, people absolutely love him, adore him but you? No you did not like him. Not a part of you even did. No matter how lucky, talented or intelligent he was, you never liked him. You hated him, you despised him, you disliked him. Anything to do with the word hate you used it on him.

You won't lie, he is attractive yes but he's not a 10 in your book. Your type was mostly for guys who had, the brains, the looks and the personality. Sae had all that except for the personality.

Same goes for sae. He does not like you at all. To tell the truth you had the looks, the intellect, and the talent as well but your personality just wasn't it. Not for him no.

So each and every day, the school will get to hear the daily dose of you and sae bickering, throwing insults. Sometimes even breaking eachother's properties or even anything that can be humiliating to the other.

The only time you had to work out was when you had to work with him along with others in a group or just you and him being partnered only for the sake of both of your grades. I mean you can't fail and neither can he. but some people would say the two of you make a good team since you two are practically unbeatable to them. 

It was finally the day of the trip. You weren't really looking forward for it, no you didn't really want to go but your mother along with you're "friends" wanted you to go and knowing how stubborn your mother and your "friends" are you just agreed.

Now here you are in a room finally getting to relax until you realized that you were paired up with him. "This has to be some sort of mistake..." You mumbled.

"It has to be, roommates are supposed to be with the same gender," you sighed. "I'll call the teacher, and while I'm on the phone I expect silence,"

When he turned his back you mocked him. Did he think you were dumb? Of course you were going to say silent, like what is there to say? You scoffed.

When the call ended, sae groaned out of frustration which by that you can tell it wasn't going to be anything good. "It seems like there was an odd number of guys and girls and we just got paired up by a random chance,"

"You've gotta be kidding me...," You muttered in disbelief. "For once trust me cause I'm not fucking around this time l/n,"

Now this was way worst, not only did you want to be here in Yokohama, but now you were also going to be roommates with the one you absolutely abhore so much.

"by the way you do know there's only one bed right, I'm taking it." He says. "Fuck no! Have you ever heard of first come first serve itoshi?" You asked. Sae looked at you in what morphed like disgust.

"that's ridiculous, what are you? A 5 year old?" Sae mocked you. He then continued to sigh. "Why not this...heads or tails?" He suggested then continued to pull out a coin from his pocket.  

you gasped in disbelief. “how do I know you’re going to even play fair? for all i know you could probably have a trick to land on heads or tails?!” Sae groaned. “you know what? yeah maybe i do have a trick to land on heads or tail, god just call it already,” “fine then heads,”

Sae then proceeded to flip the coin, and it seems like luck chose his side you obviously lost. now here you are sleeping on the goddamn floor. yes you tried sleeping on the sofa but unfortunately it wasn’t comfortable and the floor, wasn’t comfy as well but at least you have more space then the sofa did. but why were you still awake. well maybe because you could not sleep. not many people knew you had insomnia...well more of no one knew about it.

so here you are now in the kitchen eating something. “what the fuck are you up this late?” asked a hoarse voice that startled you. you look to the direction of where the voice came from and it was none other than sae. he looked like he just woke up since his hair was well not neat as you always see it as, and his voice like mentioned was hoarse.

“why do you care,” you answered with a obvious tired voice. sae sighed in return and sat down across from you. “I’m not that big of an asshole, and I don’t really see anything wrong in being concerned of my roommate,” you groaned. Sae sat down on the seat across from you. He proceeds to raise a brow at you awaiting for a response to his previous question.

“i have sleeping problems...” you mumbled. but unfortunate to you, sae heard it as muffled noises. “come again?” “i have sleeping problems...” this time he heard you. it was silent for a while so you felt hesitant to say something else. “look if you plan to make fun of me go ahea-,” “do you perhaps want to rant about it..?” he cut you off with the most rarest yet shocking question. you look at him wide eyed while he looked at you with a questioning look. 

“everytime i sleep...i just somehow get nightmares all the time, so sometimes i usually end up pulling an all nighter,” you held in you’re breathe quite hesitant to tell him. it seems like sae noticed your discomfort. “look l/n if you feel uncomfortable to open up its fine...just tell me what makes you fall asleep without having nightmares and i’ll think of something.” 

hearing him said that for some reason reassured you. “well usually my little sister would manage to make me fall asleep..cause her cuddling me while she’s asleep just reassures me and i end up falling asleep,” you muttered knowing sae was going to tease you or laughed at you. 

but little did you know, you didn’t notice sae standing up and went behind you. you were brought back out of space when you realized sae had carried you over his shoulders. “the hell you doing?! put me down this instant itoshi,” you hissed at him “can you please stop squirming? i’m trying to help you here,” he grumbled. knowing you can’t escape you instead just gave up and let him do his thing. 

you closed your eyes only due to exhaustion but you weren’t going to asleep. suddenly you felt yourself being tucked in. you opened your eyes to see that sae had tucked you in the bed he had won over. another thing you didn’t expect was to feel a pair of arms draped over your figure to embrace you. as much as you don’t want to admit...it did feel comforting. it did feel embarrassing but the warmth comfort he was giving you was slowly making you fall asleep.

“what are you doing?” you whispered. “you said the comfort of an embrace makes you fall asleep..i’m just doing what you said..” his voiced was quite muffled but you could hear it clearly. “also you better keep you’re mouth shut about this..” you laughed softly. “my lips are sealed prodigy,” “believe me when i say this will be the only time i’ll be nice you you...and you also owe me,” you look behind to take a glimpse of sae. you sighed. “i guess i do owe you..”  you slowly closed you’re eyes...and before you fully fall asleep you heard something you will never forget for sure. 

“sleep well l/n..” 

•

It was officially day one. Today our teachers just told us that we'll go sight seeing in groups...but let's not forget that there's and odd numbers of guys and girls. Because of that lets just keep it short and say that you and sae got paired up while others had groups. Why? Honestly you don't know, it was the teachers after all and because of that...all eyes are on you two.

So now here you and sae are walking in the streets while holding a brochure of places to visit in yokohama. It was quite awkward since after all you don't really know what to say.

"if you keep spacing off, you might actually hit your head on a pole," sae spoke. You scoffed at him. "I'd actually rather get hit by a pole then walk with you right now.."

"so where'd you like to go?" He asked. "I thought you told me that my opinion does not matter, remember itoshi?" Sae rolled his eyes. "Don't use my words against me l/n...just where'd you rather go?" He then gave you the brochure so you can take a look at it.

"well there's a lot of interesting places..." You mumbled. "Just pick the one that catches your eye," he says. “well we’re not technically around the teachers soo...” sae looked at you and he could see the clear mischievous smile you had. “what is it that you’re planning L/n..?”  

“well i thought maybe we could just sit down and get to know each other in a nearby caffe,” sae looked at you and rose a brow. “that is weird of you to suggest but i’m not really against it,” 

“great lets get going then!” 

-

now here you and sae were, in an ordinary caffe. it wasn’t too crowded which was just perfect. the atmosphere itself was calming. the two of you had already sat down with the drinks and desserts. but it was quite awkward since you two seemed like you didn’t know where to start. 

“did you drag me here to get to know me or was it to drain your own money on food?” you glared at him. “oh please itoshi of course i didn’t--” “sae,” 

‘huh?’ you thought. sae saw that you were clearly confused so he spoke up. “you want to get to know me right? then start off by addresing me by my first name,” your cheeks were starting to look pink. why the hell was it turning pink? is what you complained in your head. “oh yeah alright ito-i mean sae,” 

you swore your ears were deceiving you as well. you did not just hear the itoshi sae chuckle. “so where would you like to start hmm miss y/n?” you knew he was trying to tease you and he successfully did. 

‘oh i am so getting you back for this..”  

i just wanted to post this. and the again to those who had sent the prompt request in my ask box i am so so sorry. i know i say sorry too much. 

reblogs are highly appreciated 

do not steal or copy my works....

[brainsforbabyjesus]

i've been reading the hork-bajir chronicles with my kid and that led me to reading 34 and now I'm having Thoughts at 4am

hbc implies that Aldrea and Dak will die from the quantum virus but in 34 we find out that both Dak and Aldrea (and therefore Delf Hajool as well) were naturally immune.

so either Aldrea just happened to be very lucky that she acquired one of the apparently very few hork-bajir that were immune and Dak just happened to also be very lucky and they were very lucky to be immune together OR something else was going on there.

of course I am deep diving into the something else going on

first point! in hbc we learn that one in ten thousand hork-bajir are born with a particular bundle of genes that makes them a seer and it seems if you have those specific genes all together they immediately present as higher levels of intelligence, so! I think we can assume that those genes are dominant but to get a seer you need all of them at once which is why a seer doesn't immediately have a child who is also a seer but that it does follow bloodlines. The likelihood of a seer passing on every single seer gene would be pretty low.

Say there's ten genes you need to get a seer, there's a 50/50 chance each gene will be passed on. The seer is only likely to pass on about five seer genes any given time. Same goes for their partner, maybe they carry a couple of seer genes too but it would still be a 50/50 chance whether they get passed on.

So a seer would have all 10 genes, and only pass on maybe 5. If their partner had some of the seer genes, say, 4, they might only pass on 2. The next generation is smarter with 7 seer genes (five from a seer and 2 from a not seer) but they aren't a seer, they're just a slightly smarter hork-bajir, and they would go on to pass down only three or four of the seer genes. Etc etc, you get fewer seer genes the further out from the seer. After that it's down to luck if the parents happen to give enough seer genes to one kid.

second point! we learn in hbc that the hork-bajir resistance took 70% casualties. Presumably leaving behind only those who were more resourceful/quick thinking. If having some seer genes bestows a slight intelligence boost it would be reasonable to assume that those 30% left standing had more seer genes than the others and so had a better grasp of battle tactics/plans/independent thinking which is why they survived as along as they did.

third point! If the quantum virus was based on a "regular" hork-bajir it might not recognize Dak and any other other hork-bajir with enough seer genes as a hork-bajir, thus giving them a natural immunity to the virus.

So! if fighting the yeerks already pared down the population of non-seer gene carriers it gives better odds that Aldrea would pick a seer gene carrying hork-bajir to acquire and thus gain a natural immunity to the virus.

Essentially, the war with the yeerks selected for smarter hork-bajir but also accidentally selected for hork-bajir that would be immune from the virus.

This also means that the likelihood of a seer being born goes up. There are fewer hork-bajir now, but the population is made up of two groups: those who were off planet who hold a regular mix of seer gene carriers and non carriers and the planet side population which is made up of exclusively high seer gene carriers. It's not so much that there are more gene carriers now it's that there are fewer non-carriers.

The yeerks would likely further select for seer gene carriers when compelling hork-bajir to reproduce because they would be the ones known to survive the quantum virus and they would have no way of knowing if the andalites would use it again, so better safe than sorry. And being yeerks likely wouldn't care/believe this was spreading the brain development genes.

There's also evidence in the books that implies that the seer prior to Dak Hamee had been born quite some time ago, long enough that they aren't remembered by the general population as a thing that even exists. Whereas Dak Hamee is remembered as being a seer and the average hork-bajir knows what that means. So it does seem that Dak Hamee and Toby Hamee are born closer together than what was historically normal.

And! To further my, there are more individuals with seer genes and just having those genes makes you smarter argument, consider the difference in the average hork-bajir from hbc to animorphs' time. The hbc hork-bajir largely don't join the fight and don't seem to be suspicious of people being abducted even after it becomes obvious something nefarious is happening. Of a whole planet only eight hundred ever fight back. Whereas during the animorphs time non-seer hork-bajir are adept at planning and leading raids to free other hork-bajir on the regular even before Toby is born.

Anyway, the tl;dr of it: seers require a whole bundle of thinky brain genes and those must circulate in the population until they build up in one super brainy hork-bajir and tragically a plague and a war likely made those genes more prevalent in the population making the species smarter as a whole (and everyone is just speciest against hork-bajir calling them dumb four year olds when they've been liberating their own people with higher success rates than anyone else).

[ghostscrown]

So, I started to see some people who watch the Percy Jackson show but didn't read the books and either saw the movies or not, so I thought about making an explaining post in case some of them came across my blog (spoiler free, of course, feel free to read if you're missing context about the show, I'm gonna try to answer the questions I saw the most people asking – is it an excuse to infodump, probably) :

What is the difference between the books, the show and the movies ?

The two movies were made after the books something like ten years ago. However it was a bad adaptation, so they made a new one, that is the show.

Does the show follow the movies ?

No. The show isn't linked to the movies at all. The movies were a really bad adaptation of the Percy Jackson books, and the author himself hated them. That's why they wanted a fresh start for an adaptation.

But is there gonna be a third movie ?

No. The second movie was a weird mix of the 4 last volumes of the first serie of books, so there's never gonna be any third movie possible with what they did. Any fan of the books would advice you to watch the show instead, that is following the books better – if you don't want to read the books themselves.

Why are the characters so young ?

As I said, the movies were bad adaptations. In the first volume of the books, the main characters are 12 years old, and not 16 like in the movies. In the show, they're gonna age with time until they're 17, just like in the books.

How many volumes of the books are there ?

Percy Jackson is an extended universe of books, divided into multiple series. The first serie, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians", has five volumes in total. The second one, "Heroes of Olympus", that is directly following the first one, also has five volumes. These two series are considered to be the "main books". However, there is also a third one, "Trials of Apollo", with also five books (following "Heroes of Olympus"), two secondary series happening in the same universe, "Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard" and "Kane Chronicles", with 3 volumes each, a stand alone book called "the Sun and the Star" that is happening after "Trials of Apollo", some "bonus" books with short stories... And the most recent book, "the Chalice of the Gods" that is probably the start of another serie. So if I didn't forget any, there are 27 books in total and more to come.

Do I need to have read the books to watch the show ?

No, it is not necessary to have read the books. Of course I'll always recommend people to read them because they're awesome, but you can still watch the show if you didn't (and I understand that giving the amount of books, a lot of people wouldn't want to read them if they don't like reading). There's some little details you could understand better if you read the books, but it's not that important and more like easter eggs for the books fans.

Is the show really following the books ?

Yes and no. Of course it's the adaptation of a whole book to an 8 episode live-action show, so they changed some details. The characters don't have the same physical look as described in the books, but that's because they prioritized their acting over their look. However the show is really well done and most of the books fans agree that it's still very truthful to the books. I personally love what they did.

How many seasons is there gonna be ?

The plan is to make one season per book. They're waiting to see if the first season is successful ; if it is, we should get a second one, and if the show is successful as a whole, it should get at least 5 seasons (10 if we're lucky) !

When are the episodes airing and how much are there ?

Two episodes came out for the first airing, but after that, one episode is going to be released each week on wednesday. There's gonna be 8 episodes in total for this first season. The first episode was 37 minutes long and the second was 42 minutes long, so we can assume all of the episodes are gonna be approximately 40 minutes long.

Isn't the targeted audience kids ?

Yes it is. The Percy Jackson books are the kind of "the characters are growing up with the audience" books ; so each book is a little more mature. It's probably gonna be the same thing in the show, the first seasons will be more targeted to children and the last ones to teenagers / young adults.

[ziusik]

fic writer meme!

i was tagged by @englishsub, thanks, pal!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

121, which is...a lot, but I've been posting to AO3 since 2009, so I guess that explains it.

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount?

2,201,443 words

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently? None. I went through a flash of a brief return to My Chem, which was SO fun, but currently I am fandom-less & am doing my best to be okay with that. I'm refilling the well by reading lots of books and allowing my fields to lie fallow for the time being.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lead Me On Through (canon-era Wangxian practice kissing)

Accidents Will Happen (Wangxian canon-era mpreg)

A Sure Thing (modern-era Wangxian sugar daddy AU)

You'd Break Your Heart to Make It Bigger (canon-era Wangxian soulbonding)

On The Way Home (modern-era Wangxian mpreg)

5. do you respond to comments?

I do at first, and then I fall off it and feel bad. So, so many fics where I responded to the first, like, 6 pages of comments, and then never went back to respond to the rest. Mea culpa, but it gets overwhelming after a while.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably lullaby (SHL) because it's Wen Kexing grieving.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Honestly, the rest of my fics all have very happy endings. In terms of the most, like, traditional happy endings, I'd say probably On the Way Home and A Sure Thing, but I think the most hopeful one is actually in estuaries, the break-up/make-up modern-era Wangxian.

8. do you get hate on fics?

No, never. I once got a shitty comment, I think. That's it. I've been very lucky.

9. do you write smut?

Consistently.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you have written?

I don't, actually! When my brain is occupied with one fandom, that's all it can take.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know, but it might have happened and I've never found out, who knows.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, frequently, and it's been amazing. I especially love it when they get translated into Russian, because I can read them in translation, which is VERY cool.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, Becoming Joan with @theopteryx, which still holds a special place in my heart. I'd write with B again in a heartbeat.

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

God, this is hard, because they are all my children, but considering that I just went through an absolutely insane out-of-the-blue My Chem renaissance, I'll say Frank & Gerard, because they are, apparently, a constant. Wangxian is a very, very close second.

15. what is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't have any! In all my time writing, I've not finished one (1) fic, a wangxian office AU where I wrote myself into a corner and realized I'd have to rewrite the whole thing so I scrapped it and am very comfortable with that decision. Otherwise, it's mostly original stuff that's sitting there unfinished and making me feel inadequate.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Writing dialogue, I think, as well as intimacy and closeness, emotional or physical.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. Plot, plot, plot, as well as writing high stakes - that's definitely a weakness of mine. I have a hard time putting my characters through the wringer because I'm a softie, but to get a compelling story (especially an original one) you gotta do it, and so I think that's a real weakness.

18. thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

As long as you know the language or get a native speaker to help you, I'm all for it.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, back before the fifth book came out - you know, in pre-historic times.

20. favorite fic you have written?

Of all time? Man, that's hard. You know what, I'm gonna come out of left field and say Simmer Down and Pucker Up, which is a Raven Cycle fic from many, many years ago. I'm still very proud of capturing Ronan's voice.

Tagging: @brooklinegirl, @airinshaw, @phneltwrites, and @dulosis!

[skzhocomments]

THE WHITE LILY (Mafia Book #1 - Bang Chan) - Chapter 3 - Borrowed time

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

General masterlist

Chapter 2 | Chapter 4

---

Chapter 3 - Borrowed time

chapter word count: 1.2k words

"We need to know your speciality, Emilia, so we know who to team you up with."

"I'm more of an in-the-field kind of person." I replied confidently.

"Yea, we've seen." The girl called Hyo rolled her eyes.

For some strange reason, I hated her guts. Leaving her snarky remarks aside, it just seemed to me that she couldn't be trusted...

"After all, you did sooo good at your latest in-the-field mission." She insisted.

"Oh, shut up, the plan would've definitely worked if I wouldn't have been betrayed." I returned her attitude.

"Sure, like Chris would ever sleep with you." She replied, spiteful.

So they don't know, I thought and threw Chan a look and a slight smirk, which made him clear his throat and avert my gaze.

"So what's the mission, Boss?" Hyunjin asked, curious.

"We've gotten a tip from one of our informants about a trafficking ring going on. Young girls..."

"Those fucking bastards." Momo spat out, hitting the table with her fist and interrupting Chan's speech.

"Truly disgusting. Who is behind this shit?" Changbin asked, clearly annoyed. "Let's beat them up."

At least we got the same morals here.

"It's the Knife Devils."

"What a dumb name." I laughed, earning a small chuckle from everyone.

"So what are we doing?" Hyo asked, annoyed by my 10-seconds of fame.

"We must first get an address from our informant. The plan is to infiltrate the house and rescue those girls. They are currently being held in God knows what conditions... Emilia, we still have to see what you're capable of, so you'll pair up with Changbin, who is the best there is when it comes to these kind of missions."

The dark boy smirked proudly, hearing his Boss' praises.

"Hyo, you will help Seungmin install microphones and small cameras after we get our address tonight. Lix and Jeongin, you will keep watch while Emilia and Changbin go in tomorrow night. We'll work out the strategy today, I already have an idea but need to make some calls first to find out exactly where the girls are and an approximate number. We're guessing there's about 10, might be more."

My stomach turned. Kidnapping and selling young girls was... sick. Not unusual, though, unfortunately. It's a men's world after all.

"We will get those girls, ok?" Bang Chan said assuringly, noticing my face changing colour.

~

"So, a doctor, huh? You did look pretty smart 5 years ago. And knowledge is sexy." I winked, teasing the young fox-like boy, who blushed at my remark.

"It's all thanks to you. After you saved me that day... you just gave me a purpose. I realised I wanted to help others just like you did that night..." Jeongin replied, his lips turning into a kind curve.

He took my hands in his, like earlier in the garden, and held on to them for a bit.

"I kept thinking... if you wouldn't have been there to stop the bleeding..."

"Don't think about that." I smiled gently.

"I can't not think about it. I feel like I'm on borrowed time. I was supposed to bleed out to death. I was supposed to die in that dark room." He said grimly, his eyes turning distant.

"Jeongin, all of us are on borrowed time. You could've gotten hit by a car when you were 5, but the driver randomly took a left instead of a right turn that day. You could've choked while eating an orange and suffocated to death when you were 10... or you could've bled out that night. But you didn't. Circumstances don't matter. I'm also on borrowed time, thanks to Chris. If it was anyone else... I would've probably been 6 feet under right now instead of talking to you."

Jeongin looked down to his feet.

"What I mean to say is, don't focus so much on the past. Instead, look at the future like an opportunity. Some aren't so lucky..." I patted his shoulder and glanced out the window, getting lost in thought.

~Flashback, 3 year ago~

"Shade, fuck, I've been shot!"

"Where?! Where are you?!"

I could hear my partner groaning through the earpiece, while I ran aimlessly through the rooms of the abandoned building.

"The bastards... shot me in the stomach... I don't think I'll make it. Fuck. Please run away."

"San, don't say that! I'm coming right now!" Tears started running down my face. "Just tell me where you are. I can't find you..." I continued with a shaky voice.

Not in this room, not here either, this is a bathroom, fuck. Fuck. FUCK!!!

"San, answer me!" I screamed in the earpiece, hoping to hear from him.

"Shade... please listen carefully." His voice was quiet, too quiet.

"You have to get out of here. Fuck... I was such a coward... too much of a coward to tell you how I feel about you..."

"Just tell me where you are, please!" I pledged.

"I want you to leave this place and... to live. For me, yea?"

"No, no, no, don't say that. DON'T SAY THAT. I would never leave without you. I'm on my way!!!"

"No... Shade... Emi... I love you, even if you don't feel the same... Please... promise me that... you'll leave this fucking mafia... and be happy..."

My feet were killing me. I was out of breath, but I couldn't stop running, not unless I found him.

San was the only person I could trust in this damn mafia gang – or rather, in the whole world.

"Emi... fuck... I think they are-" San started coughing powerfully, unable to speak further.

He couldn't die.

No.

I wouldn't accept that.

"Look at this bastard, he's still hanging on!" an unfamiliar voice was heard through the earpiece.

Two gun shots, then silence.

~End of flashback~

"Emilia, you okay? I lost you for a minute there..." Jeongin started, bringing me back to Earth.

"Sorry, did you say something?" I pulled myself back together, locking San's memory deep, in one of the hidden compartments of my brain I didn't want to access ever again.

"I just... I'm wondering what you were thinking of..."

"Mm. It's nothing." I smiled, ruffling his hair playfully. "Let's relax until the mission tonight, mkay?"

"I.N, Shade! Come quick!" Han shouted at us from the other side of the house.

~

"The informant has been killed." Chan told us sombrely. "We can't stick to the original plan."

"What now?" Momo asked.

"We have to... think of something else. Another way to find the girls."

"You surely have something in mind. Let's hear it." Seungmin said.

"No... it's... too dangerous." Chan shook his head.

"Can I make a guess?" I intervened. "You want one of us to get kidnapped, right?" I continued, pointing to me, Hyo and Momo.

"Absolutely not." Said Changbin, making the other boys agree.

"Why not? It's a good plan." I retorted.

"It's just as Chris said, it's too dangerous..." Jeongin replied.

"Plus, we all know how that turned out last time we tried something like this." Changbin continued, eyeing Chan.

"I stand by what I said. It's a good plan." I continued.

"Then you should be the one who gets kidnapped!" Hyo clapped her hands once with a happy smile on her face, just like a kid who's finally found the solution to a math problem they were struggling to solve.

"Sure, but how will I get myself kidnapped?" I ignored the spitefulness in her tone.

"Our informant found out about this trafficking ring from Club 64. Apparently, some guys from the Knives frequent it and pick their victims there. We will pretend we're together, go there and have a 'fight', you will go to the bar sulking and attract their attention."

"Chan, it's too much..." Jeongin tried to talk the leader out of the idea.

"If Emilia agrees to do it..."

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Chapter 2 | Chapter 4