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smolgloves · 7 months

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Whispered Truths

Chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6

Summary: The group descends down in the cave to fight the hag, Freya is confronted with her reality

Tw: Violence, dehumanizing language, murder/attempted murder, fearplay dismemberment

The descent down the dark cave made the hairs on Freya's neck stand on end, every shadow felt like a monster was lurking within, watching the group with hungry eyes. A putrid smell lingered in the air, Freya had to hold back a gag, she didn't want to give Tav any reason to believe she couldn't do this, but she was beginning to have doubts. When Freya was determined to go on this mission of hers, she thought maybe there was a pack of gnolls or a bunch of bandits there, but not a hag!

She closely leaned into Tav's neck. “Have you ever faced a hag before?”

“Not too long ago, actually.” Tav replied. “We dealt with a hag that was trying to take a pregnant woman's baby in exchange to bring her husband back from the dead.”

“I still think we should have taken the boon instead.” Astarion grumbled.

“There's no use whining about it now.” Shadowheart rolled her eyes.

“I'm not complaining, I'm merely suggesting that if this hag gives us a bargain, we consider her offer this time.”

Freya scoffed, of course he would want to take the side of a hag, if it wasn't for Tav, he would likely keep walking and not care that people are suffering because a hag lived nearby.

“Oh come now, fangs; you don't mean that.” Karlach chuckled. “You know doing the right thing is better in the end.”

“Oh virtuous Karlach,” Astarion let out a sigh. “Getting a hold of any sort of power is better in the end.”

“In my defense, I did try to intimidate her into giving us the girl and the boon.” Tav jumped in. “But it's not always easy to come off as threatening when you're short.”

A chuckle slipped out of Freya's lips, which prompted a playful spark in Tav's eyes. “I see no one thinks I'm intimidating.”

“I just wish I was there to see that for myself.”

“Perhaps, you'll get a chance this time.” They let out a soft laugh. “Or you could help me with the intimidation factor?”

“Grand idea,” Freya smiled and rolled her eyes. “But I think I'll leave the hag to you guys.”

Karlach marched alongside Tav, staring down at Freya with a wide grin. “Aww, come on Freya, I'm sure you could get a couple licks in with that little peashooter!”

“Is that so?”

Karlach gave an eager nod. “Yeah, you shoot her in the eye then once she's blinded, I'll smash her head in!”

As gruesome as the barbarian's description was, Freya couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. It was strange to hear the biggest and strongest member hyping up a small borrower, but Freya enjoyed the ego boost.

“I must say, that sounds like a solid plan.” Shadowheart said.

Tav laughed along with the banter but the muscles in their neck tensed up. “Let's just keep you out of the hag's reach if you plan on doing that.”

“I'm not going to argue with that.” Freya reassured, she glanced around the cave taking in the foliage that grew along the rocky walls, and a familiar plant caught Freya's eye. “Is that…?” She left off the halfling's shoulder and onto a stable platform and immediately ran over to the plant. Large maroon tipped leaves hung off the stem. “Aixosfeaf!” The borrower lit up and pulled out her dagger to cut the plant away from its rooted position, paying no mind to the companions walking past her. It was until she successfully dug up the third root that she felt a tug on the back of her cloak, within seconds the ground disappeared from her feet. Freya clutched the bundle of Aixosfeaf to her chest fearing she would lose them as ascended. The world spun before she abruptly stopped, there she dangled in front of the pale face of Astarion, his red eyes staring daggers at her. “We're here to kill a hag, not pick flowers.”

“And what do you expect me to do?” Freya spat back.

A cold smile formed on his lips, fangs poking out just enough for Freya to notice. “Maybe we'll use you as bait.”

“We're not using her as bait!” Tav snapped back.

“Looks like your leader has spoken, now put me down!” Each step he took caused her to sway and Freya feared gravity would grab her and pull her out of the loose pinch Astarion had on her cloak. Amusement danced in his eyes as he watched her struggle to feel more secure while in his grasp. She thought he was going to keep her dangling like this for the entire time but instead, Astarion let go of her to let her fall. Freya didn't even have time to scream before she roughly landed in his other hand! The borrower pushed herself onto her knees and stared back at him with shock and anger.

“What? You told me to put you down.”

“You know damn well what I meant!”

His grin grew wider, which only made Freya's blood boil even more. Did he really find torturing her this fun? Freya shouldn't be surprised a vampire would mess with a borrower like a cat playing with its food, but yet she was! No one else wanted to torment her like this, not even Lae'zel! So why did Tav allow such an arsehole to travel with them?

“The hag is going to figure out we're after her if you two keep bickering like this.” Shadowheart snapped.

“You're absolutely right,” Freya stated. “I think it's best if I stay far far away from him!”

Instead of pawning her off, Astarion's fingers curled protectively around the borrower as if she was a valuable trinket he was hoarding. “Oh come now Freya, surely we can get along?”

Freya scoffed, he couldn't even hide the mockery in his voice. No, he still wanted to play this power game over her. “I don't get along with people who nearly kill me, twice!”

“You're still on about that?” The vampire let out a sigh, and for a moment, the group was blissfully void of his voice. “Look, you can't take what I've done personally. I'm being hunted down by my old master, for all I knew, you could have been working with him.” There was a hint of sincerity in his voice that made Freya question her grudge against the pale elf. She didn't know much about his past, but she could clue in on the fact that if someone can be a master over a vampire, then they must be more terrifying than Astarion himself.

Astarion brought her closer in his face, those piercing red eyes freezing the borrower in her place with his sharp gaze, a sly grin curled upon his lips as he spoke his next words in a sultry tone. “So why don't we kiss and make up, darling?”

Heat immediately rose to her cheeks leaving a pink blush scorched on her pale cheeks. It was just an expression, he didn't mean anything by it, but why did he say it like that? Then she noticed his wide grin grow bigger, it was apparent that he was happy with how flustered Freya became in an instant. She clenched her teeth so hard, she wagered she could crack a diamond. “If you think I am accepting that half-assed apol-!”

“Quiet!” Tav hissed out.

“He started it!”

“No!” Tav shushed again. “Someone's coming.”

Footsteps echoed in the cave and everyone scurried to shadows like rats. Freya caught a glimpse of Astarion's blade being drawn, wanting to help out, she got ready to pull out her peashooter, but Astarion's fingers curled and enclosed her in a loose fist. She struggled against the dark fleshy prison, desperately trying to pull herself out.

“Quit moving!” Astarion hissed, squeezing her tighter in an attempt to immobilize her.

“Not until you let me out!” Freya huffed out.

“You said you can't do much against a hag.” He snapped back. “So be still!”

“You two are gonna get us killed!” Shadowheart hissed out. “Knock it off!”

“With pleasure.” Astarion Whispered, before clenching Freya in a tighter fist, squeezing a gasp out of her. He wasn't squeezing hard enough to crush her but the borrower's arms were firmly pinned to her sides, no amount of struggling was going to free her from this vice-like grip.

Tension lingered in the air as the footsteps drew closer. By the sound of it, there was more than one person marching forward, a chill ran down Freya's spine. If she wasn't clamped tightly, she would be trembling! She felt like a sitting duck as the steps slowly came to a halt, an uncomfortable silence filled the cave that made seconds feel like eons.

“I wasn't aware that Ethiel's slayers would be coming over.” An elderly woman's voice called out. “I should have known once my magic barrier was broken.”

“So our reputation precedes us,” The halfling replied back. “I don't suppose you know anything about the plague going on in Skaars Hollow?”

“Of course, sweetling, I'm the one who placed the curse on the town.”

Tav let out a sigh. “I figured as much.”

“It's nothing personal to the townsfolk, I just need to… expand my home.” There was a sickly sweet tone in the hag’s voice. “We can't have an older woman hiding in a cave, it's bad for me poor back.”

“Can't just move to a new place, eh?” Karlach scoffed. “Gotta fuck with people's lives?”

“Walk away now, I'm no chum like Ethel was.” That sweet voice was gone, replaced by a sinister growl.

“And let you hurt more innocence?” Tav asked. “We're not letting you terrorize this town.”

There was no way for Freya to know what happened next, but based on the sudden screech of the hag, it sounded like Tav just started a fight with her. In an instant, the borrower felt her stomach lurch forward as Astarion presumably along with Shadowheart and Karlach with more footsteps charging towards the group.

“Bloody redcaps!” Shadowheart yelled out!

“On it!” Karlach replied, a sickening crunch and a dying squeal followed right after.

The sounds of battle cries and blades clashing bounced off the cavern walls, the noise became tenfold whenever Astarion fought one of those redcaps up close. It was almost as if they were screaming right into his enclosed fist to assault her ears, she desperately wanted the vampire to loosen his grip!

“She's getting away!” Tav shouted.

Astarion bolted deeper down the cave, the commotion dying down as he ventured further. His steps were light, barely making a noise amongst the rocky terrain, the only noise Freya could hear was her hammering heartbeat. The pale fingers that coiled around her twitched and loosened around her body. The tiny woman wasted no second to claw her way out his grip, forcing her left arm and head out of his fist. Freya let out a gasp for air, not even caring about the vile stench filling her lungs at this point. Before she could get her other arm out, the fingers tightened again, slightly squeezing out the air she had just taken in.

“I need to… fucking breathe!” She choked out.

“Not if your breathing is going to alert her!” Astarion hissed through his teeth. “And quit squirming so much, it's distracting!”

“I wouldn't squirm so much… if you didn't… squeeze so bloody tight!”

He rolled his crimson eyes but obliged to Freya’s protests and his grip loosed just enough for her to free both arms. “There, happy? Now shut it, or the hag will kill us both!”

Freya scoffed but ultimately kept her mouth shut, she wished he would have just set her down somewhere instead of facing the hag with her in hand but something told her that her voice for concerns would fall on deaf ears. So she kept her eyes peeled while Astarion lurked in the shadows, dagger lurking in his other hand. It dawned on her that she realized how truly helpless she was right now, she was held by a vampire who just threatened to use her as bait a moment ago and her only weapon strapped to her side beneath the flesh that trapped her. If the hag simply asked to hand her over, there was no doubt in Freya's mind that Astarion would do so. The foul air grew thick and Freya found her breaths becoming quick; she desperately tried to keep her nerves together but all the shadows danced in the dim light and Freya swore she saw the hag watching them before darting away.

“Get out!” Screamed in her head over and over again, the borrower attempted to pull herself out of the vampire's fist but his grip tightened once again.

“I told you to be still!”

“I can't be here!” Freya gasped, her struggles for freedom becoming more frantic.

“Well, I wished you thought of that before you decided to tag along!” Astarion's voice strained the more he spoke. “But you're here now, so accept it!”

“I didn't sign up for this!” Freya was screaming now, her heart felt as though it was on the verge of bursting! She was going to die before she could even bring the herbs back to her colony, then they'll never know that every reckless adventure was for them! Worst of all, Kes would be alone. In a last stitch effort, she slammed her fists against Astarion's fingers. “I'm not becoming bait!”

“What?”

“My, my, you two make a lot of noise.”

Before he could react, a powerful force thrusted Astarion backwards; Freya let out a scream only to choke on the volatile air she inhaled. Astarion's grip loosened as soon as he fell on the ground and the borrower wasted no time scrambling out and away from him. The fear of him clawing after her crossed her mind but Freya turned back to stare at him, she saw the once cocky vampire gagging profusely.

“Been awhile since I've seen your kind, sweetling.”

Ice ran through Freya's veins, her eyes drifted upwards to see an older woman with stringy black hair and dull greenish skin towering over her. She would have looked like any old peasant woman, but when she smiled, Freya saw stained, jagged teeth that were far more frightening than a vampire's fangs. In an instant, Freya pulled out her peashooter and lobbed a pebble at the hag, but she waved her boney hand and the pebble crumbled to dust before it could even reach her torso.

“That's no way to thank me, deary.” She sang out. “I'm the one who saved you from that vampire.”

“Y-You're no… savior.” Freya trembled as she spat out those words.

“But I could be.” The hag chuckled softly as her beady yellow eyes darted over to the borrower's pack. “You know that Aixosfeaf won't redeem you, your colony won't accept you back.”

“How…?” Freya scrambled back to increase the distance, this hag was getting into her head! “You're wrong!”

“Am I?” She tilted her head, flashing Freya a softer smile. “Borrowers rarely accept those who help the larger folk, and the people of your colony are adamant about that.”

“You don't know that!” Freya croaked out, she felt as though her throat was closing in and she was gasping for air at this point.

“Oh but I do little one,” She took a few steps closer, her shadow falling over the borrower. “And I know you're angry at your colony for what they did.”

“N-no!”

“All you did was try to help them, and they tossed you aside like trash!” The hag cried out in a mocking voice. “How could they be so cruel?!”

“They… They didn't understand.” Freya explained, what the hag was saying had to be lies, yet they sounded like the truth! No, Freya was not going to believe her! She wrapped her hands around the strap of her pack tightly, the precious herbs that will help her people was still tucked away in there. “This is going to prove them wrong!”

“Such confidence, but it's futile, girl. So how about we strike a deal?” The hag got on her knees and offered a hand out to Freya. Her smile was warm and inviting, as if she was just a granny children would bake cookies with. “I'll let you walk away from this, even keep the herbs you took from me.” A wicked gleam flickered in her eyes. “Just tell me where your colony is.”

Nausea settled into Freya's gut, she didn't know what a hag would do with her colony but it couldn't be good. “I… I can't.”

“Get it through your head, girl!” The hag bellowed out. “Your colony would rather die than accept you back! So why not let them, it'll save you from dying alone.”

Her words sunk into the borrower, why was she so sure some Aixosfeaf would redeem her, that a herb would make them forgive her for going past the border and getting caught by larger beings that were especially dangerous to her people? The truth is they would never see her any differently than the boy who compromised the colony's position all those years ago. Freya was a risk before, this blight was just an excuse to finally get rid of her.

The colony may hate Freya, but that would never justify selling her colony out to a hag.

Freya aimed her peashooter at the hag, one false move and the borrower would shoot a pebble in the bitch's eye. “You're bloody insane!”

“No matter, I'll find their corpses once the plague wipes out the town.” A low chuckle erupted from the hag, her thin lips curled into a sinister grin. “Then when I mash your bones together to make a potion, you'll finally be reunited.”

The scraggly hand shot out lightning fast ready to latch onto Freya like a predator lunging after a prey, she hopelessly lobbed the pebble at the hag and squeezed her eyes shut to block out her fate. Then a shriek cut through the air, nearly stopping the borrower's heart. Freya's gray eyes snapped open and the hand that was once going to be her prison, laid severed on the ground, blood pooled at the wrist. She glanced up to see a sickly vampire standing inches from the shrieking hag, his legs shook and his chest heaved but she could see the look of fury burning in his crimson eyes. Freya had to question if this was a hag's trickery snaking its way into her mind, making her see things that couldn't possibly be real…

Like Astarion saving her.

“You pestilent leech!” The hag snarled as she staggered back.

“Over there!” Karlach shouted.

“Flagra!”

A radiant blast shot passed the hag, only to miss her. She whirled her head over to see the other three sprinting towards her, with the flick of her other hand the hag disappeared in a blink of an eye. Once gone, Astarion dropped to his knees, a violent cough erupted from his chest.

“Shit, Astarion!” Tav rushed to him, eyes nearly popping out of their head. “Are you okay?!”

“I'll be fine once I'm healed.” His voice was laced with annoyance but Freya thought she saw a small smirk, like he enjoyed the attention he was getting.

“On it!” Shadowheart reached out to Astarion and murmured a spell, a bluish glow radiated off her hand and transferred onto the vampire. Whatever ailment plagued him was fading away.

“Hey, where's the tiny soldier?” Karlach asked.

panic was about to latch onto Tav but Freya snapped out of her shock and jumped to her feet. “I'm here, and I'm okay!”

“Thank the gods!” Tav sighed.

“You're lucky I was here to save you,” Astarion cut in. “You would have died if it weren't for me.”

“Lucky?!” Freya hissed and scowled up at him, the smugness from his pale face only fueled her rage. “You were going to use me as bait!”

“Really?” Shadowheart rolled her eyes.

“Come on, Astarion, you can't do that!” Karlach sighed.

“I told you not to do that!” Tav snapped out, the look of disgust was apparent on them.

That smirk faded from Astarion. “I had no intention of doing that.”

“Bullshit!” Freya snapped, she'll admit his words sounded very convincing but she wasn't falling for it, nor would she let the others fall for it either. “You suggested it earlier then went off on your own with me in hand!”

“I was trying to catch her off guard!” He rolled his red eyes before they landed on her with a piercing stare. “Which I would have done if you didn't freak out!”

“Yeah, I tend to freak out when people who tried to kill me- multiple times, wanders off to get me killed by a hag!”

Astarion broke eye contact with her to look back at the others. “If any of you doubt me, then go into my mind and see for yourselves.”

Tav stared into his eyes, reading his thoughts. It only took a moment, then Tav let out a sigh of relief. “He's telling the truth, Freya.”

“You can't expect me to believe him!” Freya crossed her arms. She didn't quite get how that mind reading power worked but she was told it had something to do with the parasite wriggling in their heads, but there had to have been a way Astarion was tricking them!

“You don't have to believe him, but believe me.” Tav flashed her a reassuring smile.

“But… he was.” Freya tried to argue, but her voice faded into a pleading whisper, trying to convince everyone including herself.

“The hag likely got into your head,” Shadowheart said matter of factly. “Twisting your fears into being more believable than they actually are.”

“Yes, that's likely what happened to you...” Astarion murmured, then his eyes locked onto Freya, piercing her with a glare. “But that hag was doing more than just scaring you, wasn't she?”

Freya's mouth went dry, how much did he hear? “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Oh don't act dumb now,” Disgust was practically dripping off his lips. “That hag said those herbs you were desperate to get won't help you, what was she talking about?”

“I don't know… she was just spewing shit!” Freya exclaimed, her heart was pounding her ribcage. “Shouldn't we get going?”

“We shouldn't linger.” Shadowheart agreed, she stood up and glanced over to Astarion. “Are you good to keep going?

He narrowed his eyes. “I'll be better when I know what this rat of a girl is really doing here!”

“That's enough!” Tav snapped before Freya had the chance, their green eyes piercing onto Astarion. “I've been excusing your behavior far too much, Astarion! Freya has a right to be here, even if she has her own motives, so knock it off or go back to camp!”

There was a moment of triumph that surged through Freya, finally Tav really told him off and it seemed to have shaken up Astarion as the disdain from his eyes faded away. Gears turned in his head before he finally spoke.

“I'm not just doing this for some petty vendetta you know.” Astarion spoke calmly, like the still air moments before an aggressive storm would hit. He glanced at his skeptical comrades’ faces before settling on Freya. “I'm trying to make sure her motives don't get us all killed.”

“Well Tav told you to shut up!” Freya snapped back, her eyes wide with rage the more she stared at Astarion. She was done with this discussion and spun over to Tav. They offered a hand for her to climb onto.

“The hag mentioned something about your colony not accepting you… care to explain that?”

Freya froze inches away from Tav's hand, goosebumps trailed up her arm when she felt curious eyes fall on her.

“D-did something happen?” Tav spoke with caution, their hand still extended towards the borrower.

“It's nothing!”

“But you spoke to her like you knew exactly what she was talking about.” Astarion added on. “We deserve to know.”

“The hells you do!” Freya pivoted her gaze back towards the vampire. “I don't tell my life story to arseholes who've nearly killed me!”

“But I've saved you twice now, I think we're even.” That smug grin returned and it only fueled Freya's anger, she opened her mouth to continue this debate when Tav's voice butted in.

“Twice? What do you mean, twice”

“Oh, she never told you?” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Your little friend stayed during that fight with Huskin, she almost got caught by one of his lackeys until I saved her.”

“Is that true?” Tav asked her.

“Yes.” Freya spoke through clenched teeth, Tav didn't need to say anything else, she knew they wanted to know why she stuck around. “I was hoping to know answers about the plague, and got caught in your fight…” She let out a shaky breath. “And then some scouts found me.”

“That doesn't sound good.” Karlach said.

“I've been… exiled.” Her lips tightened around the words as if trying to keep them in. It took everything to not burst into tears, maybe it was the rage she felt keeping her together.

“But why?” Tav's mouth went agape. “You were just caught by us. Is that truly enough to cast you out?��

“It is when you're caught by a vampire.” Her voice grew brittle as did all the strength it took to not cry in front of the blood sucker. None of this would have happened if he just didn't act like a monster, and staring up at him only made her more irate! “I am seen as a threat to my colony because of you!”

“Oh it is? You had every chance to scurry back to your little burrow, yet you didn't.” Astarion smiled wide enough to flash those fangs. “You only have yourself to blame, darling.”

“Fuck you!” Hot tears pooled in Freya's eyes, but even in her blurry vision, she could still see that smile taunting her. She fumbled around to grip her peashooter and was ready to shoot at his smug face again but in an instant, her weapon was plucked from her grasp.

“You're not shooting me in the eye again.”

Being defenseless did not extinguish the borrower's rage. She hurled the pebble in his direction and then grabbed another to throw it again, and again and again. Freya didn't even know if she was hitting him with the rocks, but she just choked out ‘fuck you's until she felt no more pebbles in her pack. Freya fell to her knees, her chest heaving from all the exertion. This felt ten times worse than that night in camp, she could feel the pitied looks from Shadowheart and Karlach. The looks that made her feel like a helpless kitten mewling out in the streets.

“It's neither of your faults!” Tav snapped out, yet the commanding tone wavered. “If anything, it's mine.”

“What?” Freya wiped the tears from her eyes and stared up at them.

“I shouldn't have made you stay that night, but I insisted! I just… didn't want to see you hurt anymore.” The halfling whispered. “But I made everything worse for you, now.”

“Tav…” Freya was at a loss for words, she wanted to believe Tav was doing this to just be nice, to take the blame off of her. Yet, the guilt in their eyes was plain as day, Tav felt responsible.

“It's not your fault, soldier!”

“Honestly, you mustn't blame yourself for this.” Shadowheart said calmly.

Astarion scoffed. “You tried to do a good thing. There's no need to feel guilty.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, guys, but I really should-!”

“Stop!” Freya jumped to her feet, a scowl painted on her face. “You can't take blame for this!”

“She's right.” Astarion spoke in a voice much softer than his usual flare.

“Well I'm not letting either of you blame each other for this, your bickering nearly killed both of you.” They said sternly, but they gave a desperate look at the pair.

“Oh fine,” Astarion sighed. “Perhaps I've been too… presumptuous around the borrower.”

“Understatement of the century.” Freya mumbled.

“Cheeky, but I'm trying to be genuine.” Astarion formed a smile. “How about we form a truce, so we can get out of here alive.”

Her brow furrowed. “What do you propose?”

“You clearly have no experience dealing with hags and shouldn't even be here but since you are, you'll need protection.” There was a playful spark in his eyes. “I can provide only the best protection for you.”

“You can't be serious.” Her skepticism was not going to be easily swayed, after all he put her through it would take more than a cheeky smile and chivalrous attitude to win her over.

Karlach couldn't hold back a chuckle.“What makes you the best candidate, fangs?”

“Well, you and Tav are going to be fighting that hag up close, plus your condition already exempts you from the task.”

“No need to rub it in.” She mumbled.

“Then there's Shadowheart, who no doubt will be occupied with keeping everyone alive.”

“A fair observation.” Said the cleric.

He flashed a devilish smile. “But I can stay back from the hag, and if things get too dangerous, I can slip away easily with you safely tucked away.”

Tav let out a sigh. “I know you're not going to like this… but he has a point.”

Freya pressed her lips together in a thin line, Tav was right, she didn't like this whatsoever and thought about taking her chances with Karlach's scorching hands holding her. Yet, seeing Tav give her a soft look made Freya's pride melt away. There was no more time to argue anymore. “Fine, I'll do it… but only because you trust him enough to do this.” With a huff, Freya spun over to the giant vampire towering over her, ignoring how intimidating those red eyes were when they locked on her like a hungry predator. “And you must learn to handle me properly! I will not do this if I am going to be stuffed in a fist.”

“Of course, darling.” He spoke in a honeyed voice. “I shall be nothing but gentle, like I'm holding the most precious gem in the world!”

“Th-that's not necessary.” Freya gave a huff before glancing away, she could feel her cheeks threatening to turn a shade of pink. “It'll be easier for both of us if I'm just on your shoulder.”

Astarion's only response to that was to gently scoop her up in his hand, a gasp slipped out of the little borrower when she fell back in his palm. For a moment, she thought he was going to ignore her request all together, but his hand stopped just above his shoulder, allowing her to easily step off. “Is that better?”

“It's a start, I guess.” Freya mumbled as she settled onto his shoulder.

“Next time, warn her before you pick her up.” Tav scolded, their eyes flicked over to Freya. “Are you okay?”

“I'll… be fine.” She whispered, for an odd reason, Freya's heart pounded more than usual. “Provided, we're further away from the hag.”

“You keep her safe.” Tav ordered. “We'll keep the hag from going near you two but if anything happens, you take her out of here immediately! Got it?”

Astarion smiled softly. “Cross my heart and hope to… well, you get the point.”

Tav gave a nod, then locked eyes with Freya. Words were not spoken at that moment but Freya could tell they wanted to reassure her that everything will be okay. Astarion would keep her safe, they would kill the hag, and Freya could go home as a hero.

A pale hand inched closer to Freya, holding her peashooter and ammo at his fingertips. “Here, you'll need this.” Astarion said.

Freya quickly swiped her weapon from his hand, a smile pinned to her cheeks. “Thank you.”

“Just don't shoot at me again, we both can't be useless.”

Freya rolled her eyes, but kept her mouth shut. While his remark would warrant a pebble to the eye, she didn't feel as obligated to do that as much as before. There was less venom in his taunts.

“Let's march!” Karlach replied eagerly. “I'm itching to take down this hag.”

As Astarion stood up, Freya latched onto the collar of his leather armor for balance. Her stomach twisted as she glanced downwards, being perched on a larger being’s shoulder suddenly felt less safe now that she wasn't riding with Tav, but the borrower had to cast her doubts aside; too much was on the line and Freya was going to stop at nothing to make sure her colony was safe, whether they wanted her help or not.

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daekie-gw2 · 5 months

Note

Your IBS/SoTO post is really good and I would love to hear your opinions about asura writing that got cut for time

OH, UH, OKAY. SURE. Disclaimer that a lot of the thoughts here I picked up from my friend @ratasum. (I honestly didn't expect that IBS/SotO post to get read by anyone so waking up & seeing it appears to have gotten onto the main 'circulating' version of the post and having people agree with me is a little wild, haha.)

As always, cut for length, I've never said in five words what I could say in twenty and trust me I've tried.

"Surely it can't be that long--"

I know. I'm a parody of myself. I'm sorry. Just like you cannot blame the scorpion for what is in its nature you cannot blame me for writing five and a half thousand words on funny goblin rat video game narrative.

ANYWAY. [CRACKING KNUCKLES] THE ASURA

OKAY. THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-POINT -- I'm not going to call it an essay. It's not an essay. That implies a level of organization going in that there isn't, I'm slapping points in as I recall them (I am going to cite my sources, though). But there's a lot of miscellaneous things I'm going into here. Also this is shorter than it could be because I wrote a big chunk of it right after getting home from work, got distracted by making Limbus Company OC IDs for hours, and by the point I rotated back I was getting worried something would happen and I'd lose this post.

You may be able to tell which points I wrote later because I get progressively less informative and more AGGRESSIVELY WAVING MY HANDS.

EDIT THE NEXT MORNING: Added more stuff into Point B that I didn't realize I skipped over, my kingdom for a table of contents

Point A: "The current writers don't like the asura."

When was the last time you heard any character talk about asura tech or society in a way that wasn't derogatory? Just in SotO alone, from my memory and some very shallow wiki checks, we have:

Uenno: But we're... stubborn, our kind. Bureaucratic. It's all so stifling. Uenno: Zojja and I had the same realization. Expecting satisfaction from that city is like expecting a skritt to win the Snaff Prize.

...and, from Zojja's Journal:

Before I left Rata Sum, they considered me a battery without any juice. Well, I feel the same about them. ... The technological advancement of this place is far beyond Rata Sum. Seeing this would give the Arcane Council a run for their money... I bet they lost it after Cantha opened its borders. What I'd do to be a fly on that wall... ... If the council learned about any of this, ESPECIALLY the wizards' ability to create fractals, they'd try to quarantine the entire region. Rip it apart, piece by piece.

...and, from Zojja's journal from Tower of Secrets:

The council is too scared to put me back on fieldwork, and the colleges seem less than interested in having me teach. No talks. Nothing. Past my prime, apparently. Send me straight to the retirement facility. ... She used to be a professor in the colleges, but she left after years and years of frustration with the system. Students set up for failure, refusal to grow or expand (sound familiar...?).

Now take a quick jaunt to the wiki's summary of asura culture:

The asura value intelligence and intellectual superiority over all other attributes. Individual asura will dedicate an entire lifespan to building a portfolio of successful projects or becoming the foremost expert of some tiny aspect of the arcane. They constantly seek to prove their own intellectual superiority, and by extension the superiority of the asura race.

The writers are really trying to tell me that Zojja was damaged goods post-Heart of Thorns, but, like. She was one of the foremost geniuses in Asuran society and one of the two surviving students of the genius Snaff (or one, if you count us killing Kudu in Crucible of Eternity). She is the absolute foremost expert on Elder Dragons (Taimi wasn't this until LWS4ish, imo), was directly involved with the Pact offensive on the Heart of Maguuma, and has a "connection" (I'm not going to say friendship but yknow.) with the Sylvari who stole Glint's egg. And you want to tell me nobody would want to hear from her because she was disabled? They'd be breaking down her door to get her to teach.

I feel like a lot of this perception comes from Phlunt's overbearing smothering of Taimi getting spotlit during LWS3, but Phlunt is an obstructive, small-minded bureaucrat, even by Arcane Council standards; he doesn't want to be there, he sure as hell doesn't want to be busy chaperoning a twelve-year-old with polio in his "free time", and if he dissuades her from doing anything then he can kick back and relax. His chaperoning is not a microcosm of All Asuran Society's Relationship To Solo Geniuses Who Are On The Younger Side (afaik he was also supposed to be Inquest anyway, so that probably bleeds into some of it). Take a quick walk around Metrica Province or listen to ambient dialogue in Rata Sum! Even taking into account comments about bureaucrats in ambient lore in Rata Novus, which makes it a cultural thing, I honestly still don't really see what that would have to do with 'Zojja would be a pariah'. The fuck she would. I would excuse the Zojja diaries if it was Zojja is completely shutting herself away from Rata Sum society and convincing herself they don't want her, but it's... it's not! It's 'Rata Sum threw Zojja out with the bathwater'! In what world!!!!

EoD (I go into this a couple of points down the post) is also just like a conga line of asura going WOW CANTHA IS SO ADVANCED WE'RE SO BACKWARDS and it just feels baaaaaaad.

Point B: "Since LWS4, it seems like nobody on the writing team has really actually understood the asura, and they're either written as 'basically children' or 'crazy comedy gremlins'."

When was the last time we got an asura NPC who was, you know, actually involved in asura society or had asuran attitudes? Professor Smoll from April Fools doesn't count, don't give me that. Uenno in SotO only really talks about asura society to comment about how backwards it is/was compared to the Astral Ward's tech/setup, and although the Inquest are a genuine threat... since LWS4, when was the last time the game actually remembered that? They're cartoon goons.

(The Arcane Council is actually really interesting, too! Their job is to deal with all the mundane shit and bureaucratic matters and City Things, and nobody wants to do it, to the point it's common to trick others into accidentally taking the job or replacing you so you can quit. They sometimes try to kill each other. The Inquest is considered a bunch of criminal assholes by the average asura, but they're pretty distinctly a tool of the Arcane Council who uses them to work on projects that might be 'unsavory'.)

I'm not saying the asura aren't funny. They are. Even at GW2's launch, they were smack-talking little gremlins -- but they weren't comic relief. And I'm not saying everything Angel McCoy ever said was right (I am refusing to read the interview where she says cells don't exist on Tyria and everything is made of magic <3) but they're snarky little shits. Back in GW1 they were partially Invader Zim references. Asura are researchers and, I'm gonna say it, sapiosexuals first and foremost -- they're monogamists in the sense that romantic relationships are often between two asura fixated on the same idea.

ANYWAY. Asura are weird freaks and they're kind of memey little bastards about it but they're also insanely intense SCIENCE bastards, who prize being an asshole. During LWS4 the Inquest had live samples of the fucking scarab plague, were experimenting on the Olmakhan with it -- they're a genuine danger. The Inquest can be both funny Team Rocket villains and genuine threats due to their lack of morals!! They can be both!!

But what they're reduced to these days is... they're either childlike and need care (Dagda calling Zojja little one would be fine on its own, but combined with everything else...) or they're just Haha Funny Quip Guys. They're not dicks anymore. When was the last time an asura was an asshole to you in a way that wasn't immediately condemned by the story/narrative as them being an unreasonable small-minded jerk? I don't even necessarily think Arenanet has ever had a real consensus on how to write them, but there's enough content from basegame to LWS4 where you can absolutely write them with just as much... genuineness? not seriousness, but, yknow? as the sylvari or the norn. Like -- imagine if every sylvari we met was either a wide-eyed innocent or a Nightmare Court irredeemable asshole who was torturing babies and cackling about it. If every norn we met was a one-note jovial party drunk or a Son of Svanir who just went JORMAG JORMAG JORMAG.

That's what it feels like has happened to the asura.

Everything in this section from here on until Point C starts is a lot of really misc. disjointed thoughts but I couldn't make them work anywhere else and they seemed relevant still, so. Sorry. You get what you pay for.

...circa End of Dragons --

Taimi: Yes! Xunlai has an entire MedTech division. They make braces for conditions like mine. Taimi: They're incredible. I feel almost no pain when I'm wearing them.

I can buy that asura don't really have a lot of development into assistive devices as a whole because they're generally all pretty self-focused, but there's gotta be a krewe somewhere that's got physically disabled asura, right?

In Icebrood Saga, Phlunt and Taimi's focus during Champions on fighting Primordus -- even if they have to ally with Jormag to do it -- is kind of portrayed as... petulant? Ignorant? But, like, it is very reasonable to say that asura are culturally traumatized, I'd say. Their entire culture and people, over the course of fifty years, were pushed into involuntary migration from their home and into a completely new environment. If the Kodan are traumatized by doing the exact same thing but due to Jormag and that's taken fairly seriously, especially in Bjora Marches. The writing is bad here! Champions struggles a lot on a lot of fronts, and I know it's because that was because a huge chunk of the devs abruptly got dragged off to go make EoD, but they could've at least left someone senior to handle narrative and I don't think they did.

(That honestly ties into a bigger frustration, which is that for a season/expansion where we take care of the Asura-associated dragon and the Norn-associated dragon once and for all, it sure is about Charr. I don't think this is what they meant to do going in! I think the writers meant to have you deal with Jormag in the next season/expansion, and have them be an everpresent force puppeting people around who you never actually fought in Icebrood Saga. Fuck, I don't think you were even supposed to encounter Primordus here, it's not called the Fire and Ice Saga. But the mandate? orders? came down, and suddenly they had to figure out how to get rid of both twin dragons by the end of the season, and they didn't have enough space left to change direction from the charr (who did actually get some great narrative here, I think that was at least preserved).

Point C: "Existing content from LWS4 and earlier establishes that asura tech is extremely advanced."

Anyway I think EoD was generally pretty cool, but I also think they got very worried about potentially making Cantha come off as 'less advanced' than the asura and unintentionally seeming racist in that way, and they swung real fucking hard in the opposite direction. (If anything they probably would be further advanced than Cantha, though -- they were using dragon-magic to power their waypoints & cities back during GW1, and swapped to independent? ambient? magic when the Great Destroyer awakened & pushed a lot of them to the surface. I personally would've gone for the idea that it's deeply impressive that humans, alone, have created something on par with but not better than asuran tech, especially when using a powersource that the asura historically never got as far as the Canthans with.) Asuratech created fractals and a device that could completely destabilize fractals in order to fish up real entities stuck in them (I expand on this further down on my last point).

Moto built an entire fucking immersive videogame with a hammerspace teleporter.

Rata Primus in Sandswept Isles in LWS4 has a satellite dish, implying they've gotten asuratech into orbit.

Asura have had holograms and solid light for ages -- they were developing immersive VR all the way back in Rata Novus. Oola has a hologram. There's multiple hero points where you fight hardlight projections. What Do You Think The SAB Weapon Skins Are.

They're experimenting with radiation.

They have elevators.

They have televisions.

They have sous vide!

They've got holo-clipboards!!

Okay yeah sure it's one random throwaway line from a miscellaneous Rata Sum NPC but THEY HAVE NEWSCASTS, this guy's probably been here since the game RELEASED

HOLOGRAMS

Blish uploaded himself into a golem and he's just Like that now!!!

What the Canthans and especially Joon are doing with jadetech is incredible! But asura tech is not inferior to it. You could say 'dragonjade carries incredible magical power because Soo-Won is awake and actively filtering her power to create it, as opposed to the GW1 asura skimming some off the top of Primordus' and I'd go yeah, okay, that sounds completely fair. Joon having tech that can evaluate the drained Aurene? This makes sense! She's been directly interfacing with Soo-Won's magic for years and probably has a better understanding of the biology and process of Elder Dragons + how their magic works within their body than anyone else alive, including Aurene! If anything, her dragonjade could well be tapping directly into Soo-Won's domains of Water and Life, making dragonjade tech especially good for healing or creating assistive devices. You could potentially insinuate this, but I really don't think the game actually ever says this, so I don't know if I want to give it credit for that. (In fact, the game specifically says that the magic in dragonjade is stripped of all signatures, it's pure dragon magic, so really it says the exact opposite of 'Soo-Won's connection to her domains is so powerful that she infuses the jade she empowers with their essence').

Ankka's stolen Extractor even has a note on its wiki page that it acts similarly to existing asuratech from basegame personal story -- just scaled far, far up. It's not new tech! They've had this, just weaker!

ALSO SNARGLE'S AGENT SAYS ASURA DON'T HAVE, LIKE. VIDEO GAMES? MOVIES? MOVING PICTURES OF ANY KIND? YOUUUUUU HAVE HAD HOLOGRAMS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEAAAAARRRRS. HE'S LITERALLY PUBLISHING SUPER ADVENTURE BOX THE NOVEL. WHAT DO YOU THINK SUPER ADVENTURE BOX IS, LITTLE MAN

Kippo: You bet. But that's not all! D'you know Cantha's living in the future while the rest of us mopes are still eating dirt? Kippo: That's coming from an asura. They watch theater projected from their jade technology. Moving pictures! Kippo: I want K&M at the forefront of new media. Cause pretty soon, ain't nobody gonna be readin' books. Kippo: Maybe one day, the audience could even control these move-ies. An interactive experience. Feel like you're really there!

I hate this guy

Point D: "Gorrik and Taimi have both basically undergone character assassination over the years and had all their edges smoothed off, and SotO Zojja is Zojja in name (and voice actor) only."

LWS1 Taimi was such a fucking brat. Precocious, sure! But she was an asshole of a child who was constantly chafing against any adult in the vicinity and idolized Scarlet Briar. She was a deeply lonely girl who only had Zojja and she was kind of shitty! She was awful to Braham! And, like, I will repeat this again, she idolized Scarlet, the insane mass-murdering terrorist who poisoned and destroyed the entirety of Lion's Arch.

She was a kid. She was a brilliant, lonely kid, and she sucked as a person. After HoT, Zojja is basically comatose, and Taimi decides she has to step up as the Commander's asura tech expert, to prove that she's not just a child who has to be corralled, she's just as much a part of this as you are. And the way she tried to prove herself was by taking on as much responsibility as people would let her, and even some they wouldn't, and she kept being brilliant and she had to keep improving and improving and why didn't Rata Sum see she wasn't a child, and you never realized that maybe she was taking on too much because you didn't have anyone else who could do this research, and she was keeping all her vulnerability to herself -- because if she told you you'd tell her to stop and rest. Everyone would. And she needed to keep proving herself and being the best, the smartest, indispensable to Dragon's Watch,

and eventually it got her caught by Joko. He doesn't torture her, exactly. He traps her in her own assistive device, with limited air and no control, and then he sets Scruffy on you, and this teenage girl has to watch her only safe haven try to kill the only person who can save her as she slowly suffocates to death.

And she's fucking traumatized. And she's trying to put on a brave face but it really, really fucks her up. No time to cry. She has to be helpful, and useful, and if you make her go lie down and rest she's going to fucking scream. The key of Taimi, to me, is that in a lot of ways Zojja probably saw herself in her? An incredibly brilliant and desperately lonely child with nobody to advocate for her, turning all that frustration at her life and herself right back out at the world. If she never shows weakness and if she can be just as rough and tumble as the adults, they'll see she's not a baby. She's not a poor sick victim who needs to be protected.

She's Zojja's protege and Zojja was Snaff's protege and, like -- Zojja is not that old. She's maybe ten, fifteen years older than Taimi? No more than fifteen, I'd say. She's barely an adult when Snaff dies, and she has to be everything Snaff was and more. Zojja remembers what Snaff was for her, and she sees this impossibly smart progeny girl, and she thinks to herself Snaff was my lifeline out of that. and she's that for her.

And then she kind of sucks at it because she's Zojja and she's really not very good at communication that isn't her being a bitch, but, like, she was trying, probably. And Taimi was-is just as attached to her as Zojja was to Snaff.

But Taimi, unlike Zojja at that age, isn't alone. She has Zojja. She has everyone in Dragon's Watch. She has people who take her seriously and believe in her, and her greatest enemy is herself. The older she gets the more she levels out -- partially from the trauma but partially because she's just... growing up! She's still kind of a jerk, she's an asura and she knows she's the smartest person in the room most of the time, but especially when compared to Gorrik (who is admittedly amoral even for an asura), she's got a conscience. She's a firebrand of a girl who pushes herself too hard and she ribs you when you take yourself too seriously, because you've seen her at her most vulnerable, and she knows how hard you take it when you fuck up.

And she's your friend. She's a bitch but like the rest of Dragon's Watch she's your friend.

And by the point of EoD, all that assholery she was capable of has been shifted over to Ankka (who exists to die, unfortunately), and she has now been fully transformed into The Commander's Tech Support Who Says Funny Things And Listens In On Your Conversations. There's no bite to her. There is nothing uniquely Taimi about her anymore.

I wasn't a big fan of her losing Scruffy 2.0 either -- it feels like they were trying to go she's all grown up now, she doesn't need her security blanket anymore! but, like. She has an incurable degenerative disease. That was her assistive device who just also had a personality? Give her a hoverchair or a cane or something. They eventually gave her leg braces in EoD, which I think is fine and honestly works really well (& I wish we'd gotten to see her talking more with Joon and Yao about tech than we did), but. Mmm. It felt weird, you know?

-- ANYWAY BEFORE I MOVE ONTO GORRIK. I do want to touch base with Champions, because Champions was really where they started flanderizing her the most notably. It is completely reasonable that she suggests siding with Jormag, honestly, reasonable in a way the game doesn't treat it as and neither does the Commander, because she's kind of selfish! Jormag? Who cares? She hasn't been really dealing with the rest of the Icebrood Saga so far the way you and Braham have, she just sees 'Jormag's willing to work with us to kill Primordus and hasn't caused mass horrific destruction, they're a completely sentient person'. She sees a solution to a problem and she wants it now, you can talk about Jormag later, her entire race had to diaspora because of this thing and she was there the last time it almost woke up and things got really, really bad after that, what with Balthazar. Jormag is a problem, yeah! But they're not a problem that's hurt her. They're a problem she can look at and understand and speak to. Primordus? Primordus is a monster. It's a natural disaster. You can't convince Primordus to hold off on killing people, it's just what he does. But she can make a deal with Jormag to stay away from these people, maybe, and Taimi even now thinks she's the fucking shit and she's smarter than she is, and she thinks she can outwit Jormag.

Champions could've been a really interesting look at Braham and Taimi basically trying to kill each other because they both have incredible cultural trauma layered on top of personal experiences that means they can't even consider not killing that specific dragon so super dead as a first course of action, and neither of them would be wrong about feeling that way, because if you haven't forgotten -- Taimi is barely an adult at this point, if she is at all, and Braham was a teenager during LWS1 and HoT. He's barely an adult either in the grand scheme of things! A scenario where both dragons are represented by one of your friends would've been really, really cool, and the challenge is 'how do we fix this without the dragons going out of balance'. And It Was Not That At All In Any Way.

I actually had this idea as I was writing this post but, like. Man. I understand the point of Ryland, Champion of Jormag, but I would've loved to see Jormag really gaslighting the hell out of Taimi and convincing her she's just as special as he is. She deserves special power and she understands Jormag, she's so clever -- just that slow horrible corruption through persuasion, through appealing to her pride. That's the asura cultural flaw! They know they're smarter than everyone else! Play to that.

This is partially because IN THE MEANTIME, FIRE ALARM makes me want to punch a table. I hate that voiceline. I hear it so much. Dragonstorm, why.

ANYWAY -- LWS4 Gorrik was barely ex-Inquest. Bioterrorist weirdo. The most autistic man in the world (love him for this). His argument against 'YOU WERE EXPERIMENTING ON THE OLMAKHAN WITH THE SCARAB PLAGUE?' is just 'I didn't vote for it but the results are FASCINATING also btw it's actually a pestilence, not a plague--'. His morals are entirely about what will let him do the most Bug Science. Sure, the Scarab Plague is one of the most horrifying contagions in history, but he is a scarab expert and he could infodump on this shit for HOURS. Do you remember that time he got arrested for bioterrorism after exposing himself to said plague, and his main concerns are 'people calling it a plague, not a pestilence' when they want his fucking head? Even when you get him out he just goes 'am I supposed to anticipate the neuroses of everyone around me?? Them freaking out was totally unreasonable'. Yeah, man, the fucking Elonians losing it about the potential of the Scarab Plague coming back is an unreasonable hysterical reaction. He doesn't care about people! He only cares about bugs! (This is an exaggeration but you get what I mean.)

The Commander: Joko intercepted the ship. Exposed all the crew and passengers to the Scarab Plague. Gorrik: Oh my, my, my—a full-spectrum outbreak! This is incredible! Taimi: Gorrik... Gorrik: Oh, right. Sorry. Tragedy. Terrible.

He's a freak! He's a freak of a man! I love him! COMMANDER HOLY FUCK DID YOU SAY CHAK from Jahai Bluffs lives in my heart. Weirdo guy. Incubated the roller beetle in his own body under his skin just because he thought it'd be cool. He never really grows a conscience even after Blish's death, because that's not who he is, that's not how he perceives and interacts with the world. He has a completely different perspective from you, and his priorities and predilections make him an impossibly brilliant scientist... who should probably not be allowed to talk to anyone he doesn't already know ever again.

Now circa EoD he's... what? What is he? Haha he's funny detective guy who can't read social cues and is dragging Rama into things. Oh, I guess he's an asura, so sometimes he says tech things. They have removed this man's deep freak nature from him :( The man I knew would've been out there doing fieldwork and dissecting void creatures yesterday. He would've been fascinated by the Dragonvoid glitching reality! Sorry, no, he doesn't do that anymore, he's just Funny Detective Guy, sometimes he does science things with jade tech because Rama is around and that means Gorrik is also there because he's Those Two Guys with Rama now. Sure. I like their dynamic but man did things happen to Gorrik to get there. I wish it could've been Very Normal Man Rama and a little goblin man who has decided Rama is his bestie.

(Also I'm deeply weirded out by the narrative pushing TAIMI IS AN ADULT NOW SO SHE'S GOING TO DATE GORRIK BECAUSE ADULTS GET IN RELATIONSHIPS unironically. I really do think the writers have forgotten there's like... a 15 year age gap between them and just remembered 'Gorrik's brother was Taimi's classmate, and he was close? in age to his brother, probably?, so it's fine' he's like 30, man. And if Taimi/Gorrik didn't feel so slapped together and like a way to pair them up so they're busy with each other and no longer narratively relevant outside of Tech Support, maybe I would be less bitchy! But I really don't like them symbolizing 'Taimi's not a little girl anymore, she's all grown up now!' by having her immediately display romantic interest in a guy who, like. You cannot tell me Gorrik fucks. I love him but I don't think he has ever contemplated fucking as a thing he would do.

They're research partners! They're good friends! But they are absolutely not in a romantic or sexual relationship. I don't believe it.)

Zojja... god, they did that woman dirty in SotO. They did her so dirty. I talked in my original post about how her narrative role here is actively sabotaged by it being Zojja and Caithe (or even Logan!) would've done it better, and I'm sticking to that. Anyway, the Tower of Secrets story summary includes:

I've never seen her out of her element or so unsure of herself; I'm used to the hypercompetent and defiantly confident golemancer of legend. This is an entirely new side.

Even taking into account the idea SotO wants us to accept that she's gone through character development offscreen and a full arc, Zojja would never. Zojja gets fucking mean when she's stressed or unsure, and even if it's been years and she's grown past that... she's still not going to wibble about it. This is part of the big problem with her writing, even in the base content for SotO: Zojja is very, very passive. She's nice, even! She mediates between you! She's your good friend Zojja (even though she was maybe friends with an asuran Commander, and she sure as hell was not making friendship bracelets with any other Commanders and wouldn't go YOU'LL FIX EVERYTHING :D after not having seen you for ten years). ...But asura in general, and especially Zojja, have a chip on their shoulder and they will prove themselves. There are ways they could've shown Zojja growing past that asuran cultural selfishness by really listening to and cooperating with other people -- the way they did it isn't that. I'm gonna call back to that Angel McCoy interview I linked earlier:

Sit back and watch the sass fly! A side effect of asuran intelligence and self-confidence is that they’re masters of the zinger. They don’t suffer fools lightly and don’t believe in sparing feelings. Workers expect to get snide comments from their krewe bosses, and progeny expect it from their parents. Teen asura, of course, give it back as good as they get it—it’s part of growing up. This verbal abuse may seem mean-spirited, but the asura don’t see it that way. They don’t take it personally. Their competitive natures drive them to greater heights of achievement. Remember, asura have survived against terrible odds, including their tiny statures. They’ve earned their attitudes, and a certain amount of bravado keeps them from being victims. With their jibes, they’re telling it like they see it, and if you can’t take the heat, get out of the laboratory.

Yes, this is asura overall, their cultural standards, but everyone in Destiny's Edge is/was -- to some degree -- a prototypical example of their race. And beloved Zojja was a prickly son of a bitch if you weren't the asura commander. She would never wibble. I really, really do think they gave her amnesia via wizardification so they can justify both 1. her never referencing your past adventures and 2. doing a bit of moeblobification. It's not gap moe if she doesn't have moments of being a bitch, Arenanet, it's just sparkling woobification.

They can have her talk about 'I used to be so mad at everyone' but there's a point where it's not 'reasonable offscreen character development', it's 'the writers telling us ACTUALLY it's lore-justified why she's written this way now, and she's telling you it, so she's a reliable narrator'. Zojja would be a completely unreliable narrator!! She's a bitch!! Like I said in the Taimi section, there are ways to write a character growing past being a total horrific bitch in ways that make sense! This isn't it.

This dialogue actually really frustrates me more than anything because it wants you to just... accept that nobody went looking for her, and that she didn't ever reach out because she didn't feel worthy of us. Nobody went looking? Not us, not anyone in Destiny's Edge, not anyone noteworthy in Rata Sum who would've cared about Snaff's brilliant progeny-cum-legacy and perhaps the best Dragon specialist in the world going completely off the grid and disappearing? And not even Taimi, an orphan whose mentor figure Zojja was so horrifically harmed in Maguuma that she was basically comatose. That Taimi? That Taimi would've only checked in on Zojja when she was in hospital, would've let Zojja turn her away when she wasn't ready for visitors, and wouldn't have looked for her or told anyone she was missing, not even the Commander? (okay she told us once but it was kind of a casual throwaway line. i don't count it.) Not only is it shoddy writing, it makes the Commander, Taimi, and all of Zojja's guildmates look like horrible people. We didn't check on you because the writers wrote you out of the narrative, girl.

Also Zojja doesn't say a single fucking thing about Snaff relating to Mabon at any point. A mentor who saw her for her and took her in and gave her a home? A father figure? This part does drive me insane actually because given SotO's writing I don't think they even thought about it. I don't think they meant to imply that she's basically having flashbacks to Snaff's death and that's why she flips out so badly at Mabon getting possessed and dying. I really don't think they did.

"But c'mon! Make a life-changing decision just after Mabon died? If it came from anyone but Dagda, it'd be emotional warfare." IT LITERALLY IS. IT'S LITERALLY EMOTIONAL WARFARE. THE GAME IS SO CLOSE TO POINTING OUT HOW CREEPY IT IS FOR DAGDA TO DO THIS, because with the base content drop for SotO they were at least partially interested in exploring the idea that the Astral Ward had a benevolent front but was ultimately culty and doing some horrible shit in the name of the ends justifying the means.

AND NOW SHE HAS AMNESIA AND WE SAW HER, LIKE, ONCE BEFORE WE WENT TO NAYOS. LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HAVING HER IN THE STORY AT ALL. THIS COULD'VE BEEN A FRIENDLY LAMP. Coulda been DUCHESS CHRYSANTHEA or someshit. Faren!! I don't know!! It's 2:30 in the morning I'm very tired, this post isn't getting any proofreading it is going out as is.

Point E: "This is actually just about Fractals, sorry."

I know they were thinking about continuing the Arkk storyline at one point, apparently that was the original draft for Sunqua Peak. Dessa's implied to have some deep connection to Uncategorized, which is explicitly not Rata Sum. When some prerelease images mentioned 'fractal' in the URL for SotO and it was apparently going to be about the Mists I was like 'oh, shit, are we getting closure on Arkk'? He's out there!! In the Mists!! Where is our fucking boy!!! (He's nowhere, the current writers' room don't know he exists. :') )

The major interactions with the Mists are generally Asura-developed -- Dessa and her krewe developed fractals as we know them, 'capturing' these Mists-echoes and preventing them from dissolving (and she also 'studied' at Rata Sum (though it 'didn't work out'), implying to me she grew up somewhere else and moved to Rata Sum for college before dropping out). And then Arkk managed to somehow break into the Mists physically, disrupt your transportation back from one, mash several Fractals together, let Mist Beings into the Observatory,

It's implied (to me, anyway) that there is or was a real Dessa who created the Fractal Observatory and then... got out. She had a kid before making the Observatory -- Arkk mentions she looks very young during Shattered Observatory, she recognizes him, and she has some unspecified connection to the Raving Asura -- who has an unsent letter to her which makes her deeply sad to read, and, also, yknow. The kittycat golems. He could be Arkk's dad, is what I'm saying.). And never knew her fractal echo was trapped inside the Mists, repeating forever and forever and forever. And then she died, or she disappeared (maybe something happened when fractals-Dessa tried to leave during LWS1 and reset?), and Arkk found out that she was still in the Fractals, and he managed to destabilize the fucking Fractals in his attempt to rip in there and get her out.

And the version we meet of him in Shattered Observatory is just an echo, too, trapped in the loop forever and ever and ever. Maybe there is a real one out there -- or maybe the Mists destroyed that one as he tried to escape the Shattered Observatory, and the only versions of these two that exist are their shadows endlessly looping (which is honestly what We only exist in the Mists…echoes of ourselves. is meant to mean, but hey, it's not specific enough, I read it as 'the versions of ourselves that we are now aren't real. we're just shadows of our real selves, who aren't here any longer'). Fucked up, man. Anyway they should've made one of the archwizards in SotO an asura

Asura. They're little bastards. Love 'em. In my universe my asura druid Svess is holding Taimi's hand and talking her fucking head off about how to make nitroglycerin and they're having a GREAT time

#I'm not tagging this.#If you want to read my takes you gotta come for them manually.#It's 230 am I am so tired why did I write 5.4k words on asura

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