#7 - went back to work
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And after 17+ straight hours on the qsmp, etoiles has logged off
#qsmp#etoiles#a list of things that i got done during the time he streamed#1 - went to work#2- finished work#3- cooked and ate dinner#4- played minecraft myself for what i thought was way too long#5- feel asleep#6- woke up to etoiles still playing#7 - went back to work#and only then does the stream end#god bless honestly
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#Turning Back Time- fanfic#Chapter 7 teaser#linked universe#LU#Time (linked universe)#Not my art#Artist seems to be someone who went by bbo_loz on twitter but their account doesn't exist anymore#And no other name is linked with their work#All I could find was mentions of them#If anyone knows if this artist is still around and where I can find them let me know!
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i probably have some sort of dissociative disorder but i have a job so idrc about that rn
#icarus speaks#like#i’m thinking back to all of middle/high school#where i just kept telling my doctors ‘yeah the depression medication is working like i’m chill now’#‘but i do not fucking feel connected to myself still’#babes i don’t think those were depressive symptoms 😭#i do not think it is normal to feel dissociated 24/7 king#but also this is not on me considering i explained what i now realize is dissociation to a T to my therapist at the time#and she literally went ‘wow that’s weird. never heard anyone feel like that before’#so i don’t think me not realizing this is probably a bigger issue and not me being hashtag quirky#for like 10 years#still insane to me to think back on that#my exact description to her was something like ‘there’s a glass wall between myself and the world including my own body and memories.’#‘i can see them but something is keeping me from being able to connect with them like everyone else seems to be able to’#AND SHE REACTS LIKE THAT???#WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE FROM HELLOOOO 😭#she genuinely set me back at least 8 years considering i did not accept that whay i feel is dissociation until like last year 😭
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well i came out as trans to two coworkers two separate times today. they both brought it up first, asking what pronouns i use. i then told them i am a trans man and use he/him and idc if anyone at work knows but im just not.. going to be super open about being trans. i work with toddlers and in the south so... i dont want any parents to start shit. luckily both these coworkers were super nice and both were checking to make sure they were respecting my pronouns bc everyone uses she/her. i told them i appreciated them waiting to ask me one on one and to keep using she/her at work. while talking to my second coworker, she mentioned that she has been wanting to ask me what pronouns i use privately bc as soon as i walked in on my first day she clocked me.. thank god tbh... thank god.
#it went well even though i wasn't meaning to do all that today#but it was nice and me and these two coworkers have chatted about other stuff and#even have nicknames so#it wasnt... Weird#if you know what i mean#but .. man. such a long fucking day#woke up exactly 12 hours ago#and nownim back in bed#after driving home and showering#woke up 6am for 7:50 am clock in and got off work#got off at 5:15 pm drove home. showered and in bed at 6pm#stupid babo life
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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yeah new favourite little guy. no don't look in my reblogs.
#oh my god the HELL i went through trying to upload this#i tried to upload it but the file size was too big so i uploaded it at a lower quality but then it gave me an ERROR#i tried saving it as like. 7 different files#NONE of them worked#turns out#csp was doing some weird rendering thing#but it was only completing it halfway#so the files were all fucked up#and i had to SEND MYSELF the jpeg via my whatsapp group with only me in it#and then DOWNLOAD IT so it would be a different image#but it ended up coming out low quality#so i redownloaded one of the previous jpegs i exported (but from gallery this time) but it didnt work bc it was the same file#so i saved the post with the low quality whatsapp download to my drafts#and then i went back to my drafts#and guess what#the quality was fine#anyway#rant over#look at him#chainsaw man#angel csm#csm angel#chainsaw man angel#angel chainsaw man#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#fanart#art#chainsaw man fanart
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masumi arakawa vogue momence
#rgg#rggo#ryu ga gotoku online#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#masumi arakawa#snap sketches#i NEEEEEDED to draw him in the RGGO outfit i NEEEEEDED to#really tried going for a 'stacy's dad' kind of energy.... did it work.... the tags will let me know#i wanna try to draw arakawa more.... his face confuses me...#i always end up drawing his face in a way thats Not Right to me so i wanna get better at that#should prob do a Fatter study than the one i posted last time but oh well#just wanted to do these real quick before i went back to comm work#this IS propaganda for the drip wars btw. vote papakawa
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stottlemeyer's timeline as promised.
[find monk's timeline here]
#lol i had some difficulty deciding his dob and the birthdate#asked my little sister and she went. and i quote “he's definitely a fire sign. bro needed a damn yo-yo to calm down. and that didnt work!”#LMAOOO#xD#so this is what i settled on :“)#theres a 7 year age gap methinks#leland says to monk during mr. monk and the captain's wife that karen and he met when they were kids... i took that to mean 17-18#ted levine mentions how stottlemeyer was probably in the army and i like that so i went with it#stottlemeyer also mentions his rep about being the youngest.#so he transfer around age 24 and ig back then. that gets him the rep?#promoted to captain 4 years before trudy's death#he comments on how he was monk's watch commander in s01e01 so >->#yep thats it.
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Small drawing collection of my latest creation Emran as a teenager/freshly minted Air Acolyte, for my dear partner in unhinged OC shenanigans @katkastrofa, as promised <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#I need to figure out a way to tag these guys#like with renny and dori I just put sotrl in front of their names and that works#but emran is technically an LaF character. though not uniquely tied to that verse. and idk what to do with Ila and Alasie#maybe I need to have some unique oc tag or smth. I’ll figure it out#if you’re wondering why I stayed up until half past 7 a.m to draw this it’s because I needed some way to cool down#after the kuviren smut absolutely broke my brain#and what better way to do that than by drawing my sweet baby boy?#yes lmao he went from baby girl to baby boy in like 24 hours. fucking sue me#but actually. actually!! they’re both. they contain multitudes :)#they probably haven’t even realised that at this point and are still in disguise#convinced that she’ll be punished for her deceit if anyone found out that she’s actually a girl#(okay off topic but the switching pronouns are really fun lmao)#but give them time. they’ll figure it out soon enough. in these pieces they’re slowly getting used to temple life#and that is the first step to self acceptance#I’m actually extremely proud of these. especially the one with the apple basket. I feel like the androgynous vibes are really there#and he looks like his brother the most in it#but the others are fun too. I loved doing the portrait. I should do them more often#and.. I will admit. I traced the lemur. I can barely draw people okay how do you expect me to draw animals#but I just think that Aiza would really love a little lemur friend#animals don’t judge and she doesn’t have to watch herself around them. she can just be. plus the lemurs are really cute <3#I want to eventually do a companion to this with Aiza instead. maybe from back before she ran away#probably something based on reflection from Mulan too bc the vibes are there. though.. to be completely honest#I’d say they have a lot more of Shurochka Azarova’s vibes than Mulan. but that’s just my love for Soviet cinema taking over#it’s essentially if mulan fought napoleon instead. and when discovered instead of left to die they promoted her to lieutenant 😁#I realise the comparison is completely incomprehensible to everyone but me but.. go watch the hussar ballad. it’s free on YouTube with subs#okay enough rambling. i shall now go to bed. @ Kat I hope this brightens up your morning at least somewhat. I love you!!
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redrew a few old expressions from february!!! one never notices how much their art style changes in some months till you compare side by side www
(the old ones for comparison ↓)
#re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#fanart#you had no idea how bad my hand was itching to draw him i was so gon die there (joke)#more so because i replayed the game these days and wanted to check my old expression sheets from february i made based on some lines ...#usual commentary time☺️☺️☺️#top left may be obviously different and thats because i didnt actually base it off the old one in that case. i based it off his sprite#but the old one is based on that same sprite; just with context of line so...#no idea what went on these months that the way i drew his ahoge went from simple strands to little circular things JEKSNDL#im not sure how to explain it but point is i . i dont know what happened there but now my brain doesnt let me draw it any other way#top right had his line of sight changed for a very goofy detail i completely overlooked in the old one ... he is the baby of the group😭#it's very unlikely anyone's shorter than him and since everyone goes from being 1 to 4 years older than him. hes gonna end up looking up😭😭#it would be one thing if the cast was older because puberty and height and stuff but it aint the case here cuz. he's like. 7??😭#so i found it funny he was looking down in the old one then i fixed his line of sight to he looking upwards . which looks goofier on him#really adds to it. the person who killed your whoel family needs to look up to look at you in the eye😭 cuz its a little baby😭😭#the fun thing in comparing the old and new is how my approach in drawing him just. changes completely#back then i did the chibi like approach when drawing him thats it. that was the mindset#now it's “he needs to look more like a bug MAKE HIS EYES TAKE MORE SPACE IN HIS FACE he neeeddds to look like a bug ...”#worked i need to put him in a blender /JOKE JOKE JOKE LIGHTHEARTED JOKE😭😭
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rook ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
#i miss him so fucking much i have been deprived since chapter 7 came out 😭😭😭😭#HIS LAST REVEAL WAS GLOMAS. GLORIOUS FUCKING MASQUERADE#HOW DO YOU THINK I'M STILL BREATHING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i WANT HIM BACK THEN I REMEMBER DECEMBER'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER#I'M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE WITH 40 PULLS#my love please ���🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i beg#i miss you sm my hunter please come home 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#i feel like a housewife whose husband went to another country to work i can not live like this#i feel so LONELY i want him back you have no idea#i stare at his cards and i BLACK out#life is dull no rook#i try to make content of other characters but my brain just goes “how about rook content” DARLING THERE'S BEEN NONE#i just wanna hug and smell him all day ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ the nuis need a bath#rook rook rook (╥﹏╥) oh rook my love#i wanna CRY where are you my love my monsieur ( ꈨຶ ˙̫̮ ꈨຶ )#i miss your voice cracks and silly little hair swish (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)
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oh no. oh no i wanna be warm and cozy and snuggled up in my bed all day oh noooo what do i do
#i dont wanna go to woooork#see this is why ive gotten back into my old habit of waking up absurdly early on days i have work early#so i have time to accept how i angry i am about getting up >:(#im subbing at the high school today. i could easily like. wake up at 6#but i set my alarm for 5:15 so by the time 7:20 comes around (school start time) im like well ive been awake for ages#tales from diana#it's not a genius idea but it is an idea#btw. when i went to this high school i was never awake at 5:15#i woke up at 6 and got dressed and went back to bed until 6:50#and then went to school#i was so sleep deprived in those day tho
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Gran may be in the beginning stages of dementia. Not what you want to hear on a friday morning, but its not like we didn't maybe see it coming? Main challenge now honestly is trying to set it up so she can keep the dog as long as possible.
#my sister came by with the news and as cold as it might sound#shes been having a really bad physical health spiral for the past year and yknow#we frankly hope that catches up with her before her mind goes.#we still dont know what kind or what the progression will look like obvisouly#and shes tougher than most#but this is a lady who divorced her cheating husband long before anyone divorced for anything in our town#went back to school and got a proper education in her 40s#worked hard and lived a full life after birthing 7 children and never bent for anybody#for her. losing control and autonomy is the absolute worst thing that could happen. she does not take well to dependency.
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absolutely decimated an 11 year old in mini golf today
#i only worked 7-1 today so i went mini golfing with my cousins and i got 2nd place put of the four of us#''let kids win'' outta my way gay boy im taking the silver medal in this mini golf tournament#let kids win is for kids under 10 im sorry once you hit double digits im not holding back#also i got the fish flops :-) they make me very happy#i also got the only hole in one out of the whole game so fuck them kids#my pics
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Not flying to Scotland tomorrow because weather's bad; flying to Isle of Wight instead. Haven't drawn up my flight plan yet and I've got all this work that's supposed to be done tomorrow and I intended to do it tonight but I have a stomach ache :/
All of this is entirely my fault for doing wayyyyyy too much lately. I'm so tired lol
#tried on 5 costumes at rehearsal tonight. I have five. FIVE#whole day in cardiff yesterday with friend. saw Nye and went to art museum saw botticellis and monets and manets and rodins and shit. WILD#passed motorbike test 1 on 650cc on Monday so powerful omg#sunday was a 7 hour rehearsal#saturday was 4 hours of bike training#friday flew with a friend#might go to bed now and wake up early for the work#have to do flight plan in morning anyway when the latest forecasts are out#i don't even know who I'm flying with which is piss frankly. I really don't like how the club is organised. It's very fucking slapdash#if I fly on the way back then it means I'll be on radio and nav on the way down and that involves wayyyy more prep than just flying#god my tummy owy. From tiredness probably but I'm so sick of it always being owy :/#text tag#still got that cough man. show starts 30may ughhhhhhhhhh
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Something about getting your job done feels so good ‼️ yes I sent a callback and told the techs a kitty back there has irritated skin and is messing with it ‼️ yes the doctor looked at it and prescribed him an ointment then put a cone on him 😍🥰
#chloe shush#there's like 7 cats and 8 dogs back there rn even my coworker opened the reservations#and went oh wow theres a lot#and she USED TO DO KENNEL#there's no way I'd have made it out at 11 if I wasn't training someone and we weren't basically just working together to deligate tasks#she pretty much caught on its just the med notes now to get down
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