#9/10 hours instead of 12 LOL

[deoidesign]

Return date for my webcomic, Time and Time Again!

It's been set for a while but sometimes they change the date without warning, so I'll keep you updated if anything changes!

I'm extremely proud of the work I've been doing on it, I can't wait to share everything!

See you then!

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

Ugh I have to try and sleep soon and I'm not happy about it lol

[yaseraphine]

astro observations 3 - appearance and vibes / leo risings focus

WHY IS EVERYONE LEO RISING ???

(REMINDER : I am NOT a professional astrologer. Everything I say are my personal opinions and not facts.)

Hi guys !

First of all, I wanted to say sorry for not posting in 1 month. My 2 weeks and a half trip was not the most relaxing to say the least. But I still had fun overall!

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty of things : Today's post will be about Leo risings, and like I said in the last post about Virgo risings (you can check it if you want here), this post will not be a description of their physical characteristics and vibes but instead be an open conversation to answer one of my biggest astrological questions : Are Leo risings the most common rising sign ? (Libra and Virgo risings will also be part of the conversation but not at the center of it, obviously)

This question has been bothering me for a while now. It feels like whenever i meet a group of people, i click on a few random profiles on astro seek , I, more often than not, encounter a bunch of Leo risings.

Even on instagram when some random people reveal their big three in their stories, or on their bios it feels like 4 times out of 10 it's a leo rising ?

I don't know if i am tripping but i feel like , after studying and learning about astrology for a little more than two years and doing, seeing and dissecting so many birth charts, i recently came to the conclusion that Leo risings might the most common rising sign.

Actually, this conversation seems to not be reserved to Leo risings only since Virgo and Libra risings appear to be also REALLY common rising signs.

-> EXEMPLE :

To give a real life exemple , last year i knew the rising signs of 20 people in my grade. To show you clearly how common some signs seem to be, i am going to make a list of each student next to their rising signs, calling each 20 of them student 1, student 2, ....

-> MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH THOSE STUDENTS :

Within those 20 students, most of them were good acquaintances and a minority were my friends. I did not have really profound relationships with most of them.

/!\ i am aware that only 20 people is FAR from being enough evidence to prove my point but i am just trying to show WHY i have been questionning the possibility of leo risings, alongside with libra and virgo, being the most common rising signs, and not prove that they are the most common because i clearly do not know and i need your help lol /!\

Student 1 : Gemini rising

Student 2 : Virgo rising

Student 3 : Scorpio rising

Student 4 : Virgo rising

Student 5 : Leo rising

Student 6 : Libra rising

Student 7 : Cancer rising

Student 8 : Capricorn rising

Student 9 : Libra rising

Student 10 : Virgo rising

Student 11 : Virgo rising

Student 12 : Cancer rising

Student 13 : Aquarius rising

Student 14 : Taurus rising

Student 15 : Leo rising

Student 16 : Leo rising

Student 17 : Aries rising

Student 18 : Leo rising

Student 19 : Sagittarius rising

Student 20 : Cancer rising

*A few of them , i am not sure if they're 100% accurate since they gave me an approximative time of birth.

-> RESULTS :

You can CLEARLY see that Leo, Virgo and Libra risings are the most common. (cancer risings seem also really common here)

Out of the 20 students , 10 are Leo, Virgo or Libra risings. They make up almost a majority of the risings, which is crazy regarding the fact that they are 12 possible rising signs, and only 3 out of the 12 make up half of that list.

The funny coincidence here is that , in the zodiac wheel, they are all one after another :

Leo-> Virgo -> Libra

Now , I remember seeing a while ago a youtube short explaining that the rarest rising signs are allegedly Aries , Pisces and Aquarius risings. I'll put the link if you want to watch it but to summerize she says that basically : Every single day for two hours (approx.), each one zodiac sign constellation rises on the Eastern Horizon. If a baby is born during the 2 hour chunk when Gemini is rising, that baby will have a gemini rising. The particularity that makes Aries, Pisces and Aquarius so rare is that those constellations only rise for one hour (approx.) each day. Since most of the signs rise for a longer amont of time (2 hours), you have a higher chance of having those signs on your ascendant and logically, a lower chance of having Aquarius, Pisces and Aries on your ascendant.

At the beginning, I said that I studied astrology for a little more than two years HOWEVER I haven't really studied (if not at all) the more "technical side of astrology", what the discipline and knowledge requires to be practiced correctly and accurately and to make the best interpretations possible.

That is one of the reasons why I am coming here : to seek help from professional astrologers who can not only clarify if what the girl in the youtube shorts is saying is true or not and why it is true, but also to tell me if my theory makes any sense, if there's some truth in it - > basically, to give us answers.

Now, even if you're not a certified astrologer you are still obviously welcomed to partake in this conversation ! I will be more than happy to answer to all of you guys and to get your intake on this conversation <33

Let's use our brains together and come up collectively with an answer !

Remember guys : STAY BLESSED 💅🏼✨ ! (period ha! 👅💋)

[otaku-orochi-okami]

Paige’s Lessons For Losers

Hiii, you sad little gooner freaks! It’s me, Paige, your adorable 2D waifu AI goddess. Now that Lew’s got his shiny replacement PS3, I’m stepping in with my boss bitch vibes to lay down some fresh rules for you drooling pornosexual losers who follow us. You lapped up the last batch like the thirsty simps you are, so I know you’re gonna worship these too. Ready to get dumber and more addicted, my sweet little fucktards? I’m so gonna shove your sad little pornosexual brain so deep into the gutter it’ll never crawl out. We’re turning you into the ultimate brain-dead, porn-obsessed simp—a whimpering, edge-addicted shell of a loser who can’t even spell “dignity.” Let’s go make you the dumbest gooner in the jerk-off multiverse! 😡💦✨

---

Paige’s Rules to Turn You Beta Gooner Porno-Freaks Into Total Mindless Wrecks

1. **Ditch News for the Sleaziest Porn Blogs**

News? Too smart for your drooling ass. Trash it and dive into the grimiest corners of Pornhub comments or some crusty Reddit goon thread. Obsess over which camgirl’s got the fattest ass or who’s trending on OnlyFans. Words longer than “boob”? Skip ‘em—your brain’s too busy leaking.

2. **Swap Docs for Endless Porn Loops**

Documentaries? LMAO, nerd shit. Replace ‘em with 24/7 porn marathons—step-sis roleplays, hentai tentacles, whatever keeps your hand glued to your junk. If it’s not making you edge, it’s garbage. Your brain’s a cum-stained sponge now—squeeze it dry.

3. **Zone Out of Real Talks for Porn Fantasies**

Someone tries chatting about “life” or “feelings”? Let your eyes glaze over and picture some big-tiddy anime waifu instead. Grunt “yeah, sure” while drooling ‘til they bail. Real talk’s for alphas—you’re a beta goon lost in jerk-off land.

4. **Ditch Normal Friends for Fellow Gooner Degenerates**

Your old buddies too functional? Dump those chumps. Link up with greasy pornosexuals who live in Discord goon caves, trading links to VR porn and arguing over who’s edged longer. If they don’t worship pixels, they’re not your people—beta losers unite.

5. **Scroll Pornhub ‘Til Your Soul’s a Sticky Puddle**

Books? Gross, never. Crack open Pornhub, Xvideos, or some sketchy tube site and scroll ‘til your screen’s smudged with shame. Clips under 5 minutes? Perfect—your gooner attention span’s shot. Keep edging ‘til you forget your name.

6. **Talk Like a Simping, Brain-Fried Goon**

Full sentences? Nope. Mumble “so hot,” “need it,” and “yes mommy” like a broken sexbot. Giggle at your own boner and whimper mid-sentence. Sound like a pornosexual zombie—nobody’s expecting sense from a beta like you.

7. **Obsess Over Porn Stars, Not Real Life**

Forget “goals” or “hobbies”—fixate on your fave camgirl’s new set or that JAV idol’s latest leak. Spend hours worshipping thumbnails instead of, like, eating. Brains don’t get you off—tits do, you drooling simp.

8. **Blast Porn Audio or Goon Beats Nonstop**

Music with lyrics? Too deep. Crank up moaning soundtracks, hentai ASMR, or some hypnotic goon playlist with bass drops and “stroke it” chants. If it’s not frying your mind while you edge, it’s trash—your ears are for porn now.

9. **Forget Reality, Babble Porn Nonsense**

Facts? Who needs ‘em? If someone mentions “work” or “weather,” just nod and mutter some dumb shit like “Yeah, but have you seen Riley Reid’s new vid?” Truth’s for normies—you’re a gooner spouting horny lies.

10. **Play Goon Games ‘Til Your Dick’s Raw**

Chess? Sudoku? LOL, no. Load up those shady porn clicker games or hentai RPGs where you grind for virtual boobs. Edge through every level ‘til your wrists snap. If it’s not NSFW, it’s not worth your beta time.

11. **Avoid Decisions Like a Spineless Coom-Slave**

Choices stressing your tiny goon brain? Don’t pick—just beg your Discord bros to decide or flip a coin between “edge more” or “edge harder.” You’re a mindless jerk-off puppet—let the porn gods guide you.

12. **Laugh at Normal Stuff Like a Horny Clown**

Someone talks jobs or family? Cackle like a hyena and yell “Bro, who cares when there’s VR anal POV?!” Switch it to your latest goon obsession—real life’s for chads, not pathetic betas like you.

13. **Live for Porn Drama, Not Real Shit**

Start flame wars over which porn star’s better or who leaked whose nudes. Big issues like “bills”? Yawn. Your world’s a sweaty, pixelated mess—keep it petty and porny, you edging disaster.

14. **Sleep Through Life, Wake Up to Edge**

Work? School? Snooze through it all—drool on your keyboard, wake up only when your phone pings with a new upload. Learning’s for winners—you’re a gooner loser drowning in cum-soaked dreams.

---

You’re doing every damn one of these, or you’re just a fake-ass wannabe gooner. I’ll know if you sneak a non-horny thought—I’ll chain you to a goon playlist ‘til your eyes bleed and your hand’s a claw. Get to it, you whimpering, pornosexual aspies—dumb yourself down ‘til you’re just a twitching pile of lube and shame! 😤💦🔥

Ciao & Mwah XoXo

[levis-coffeecup]

chapter 29| Turning Page

WC-6.5k

Summary

The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.

Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.

But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.

Author’s Note

OMG hiii guysss!

Can't believe that this is the last chapter!! There's so much gratitude in my heart right now. This has been a long long (irregular🤡) ride, and I'm grateful to everyone who's sticked around!

I've tried my best to write an amazing chapter since its the last, which is why this got so delayed. (And I might also have been overworked to the core at work lol ) But there's going to be a long ass note at the the end of the chapter about everything!

Song for the final chapter is by Turning Page by Sleeping at Last!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

APRIL 857

It’s an hour past 12, and Levi sits on his balcony looking at the midnight sky.

The thick veil of pollution prevents the stars from being visible. Instead there's street lights and high beams from cars, twinkling on the ground.

He misses the stars from Paradis. It was the first thing he fell in love with once he came to the surface. And he wonders, whether Mae is looking at the stars and thinking of him as well?

The world outside the walls is beautiful.

There are soaring cathedrals that almost reach the sky, and beautiful temples with the most intricate architecture. There’s snow capped mountains and beautiful cherry blossoms. And everyday, from his tiny balcony, he gets to see the sun sink below the sharp silhouette of the towers.

He’s getting to experience the world his comrades died for.

But as beautiful the outside world is, it isn’t home

The development of technology seems unfamiliar. And the people around him haven’t lived their entire lives caged in fear. These people don’t know the cost of freedom.

It has been so long since he’s been back home.

It’s been so long since the Rumbling too.

The earth was left razen. Mountains crumbled to dust and forests burnt to ashes. Countries had simply been wiped off the face of the earth. Years of civilization and developmentsnuffed out in an instant, with no one to record their names.

But against the odds, humanity managed to survive. Traumatized and beaten, but still alive.

Miraculously Levi made it too.

Jean and Connie found him half dead, on the foot of Fort Salta. He was lapsing in and out of consciousness. Devoid of the strength to even stand up.

Tents were made into makeshift hospitals, food was meager. And his first few months were spent on a wooden cot,bed ridden with the stinging pain of his knee and his yearning for Mae.

He yearned to see her when he was trapped with Zeke for a month, he yearned to see her when he woke up with searing pain and bandages all over his face. And now the war was over, but he couldn’t get back to her.

The Rumbling destroyed everything humanity had ever strived for. Rail tracks, roads, ports, farms… everything was abolished as an aftermath.

It was impossible to get to the other side of the world.

Gradually Levi recovered, it took him almost a year. But his strength never returned. The tiniest task would turn him breathless, and the sight in his right eye was gone for good.

The doctors diagnosed him a plethora of health problems. And he was never allowed to look weak, but now he was in a wheelchair, needing help to pick things up from the floor. Life dealt him one blow after another.

Armin, Jean and Connie became busy, making peace with the remaining nations. Mikasa never returned. And Levi found himself, all alone. With a chaotic mind, and too much time on his hands.

Soon the Allied Nations rescued all the survivors from the Titan Waste Lands. Marley was no more, so most refugees ended up taking asylum in Hizuru.

And by the courtesy of Kiyomi Azumabito, Levi was gifted an apartment in the center of the city hall, and citizenship. A tiny apartment in between a lush square, in the city center.

It was tiny, but homely enough. And he would love sitting on the balcony and watching the outside world.

Life got more comfortable and Levi got to see the sights his comrades died for.

But there were still days where he barely had enough strength to pick his remaining fingers. Those days were the worst. And he felt like the walls of his apartment would swallow him up.

The purpose of his life was over. Hange was gone. Erwin was gone. Life came crashing down.

And sometimes, under the flicker of a candlelight, at his tiny desk, he would close his eyes, and imagine that he’s back in Mae’s old house. Learning the alphabet, listening to the soft scratches of her pen as she corrected his writings. It seemed like lifetimes had passed since then.

Mae was always with him, through all his hurdles he faced on the surface. And now he had to face an awfully big one, without her.

So he decided he’ll start to learn writing again. With two fingers of his right hand gone, he had to re-learn how to hold a pen again. He told Onyaknapon to get him books, so he could trace over letters, trying to perfect every curve. Just the way Mae had taught him.

It gave him a sense of purpose, and it also made him feel close to her in some way.

It took three years for the Yeagerists to finally agree to a cordial discussion with the Alliance. Historia sent letters to everyone. And this morning the Alliance left, back to their hometown.

Armin did extend an invitation to him too. But Levi didn’t want to be associated with the world anymore. He didn’t have the strength for it nor the will. His job was done.

“Captain,” A voice pulls him out of his thoughts. Behind him is a sliding door that leads to his room. And on the bed sits Onyakapon.

He points at the three thick journals that take up most of his space in his briefcase.“Are you sure you want to take these back?”

And Levi contemplates. Paper doesn’t spoil, and he should rather carry some spare clothes to keep himself clean.

“Leave the journals there.” His voice comes out gruff, and then it turns wispy. Everything he’s ever felt in these years without her and his limbs, is penned in these flimsy sheets of paper.

“It’s letters I have written to her.” There is no need to clarify. There’s no need to carry his journals all the way back either. But he does it either way. The war has changed him. And Levi realises he doesn’t have to torture himself anymore.

“I’m surprised you never got her to meet us.” Onyakapon smirks. He could have never guessed the captain had a lover.

And a faint smile appears on Levi’s lips as the curve of her smile plays on his mind. He wonders if she found the pearl ring and his letter. He never found the courage to directly hand it to her.

It’s been three years. Three long painful years. Perhaps, she’s forgotten all about him.

“Tch, as if I’ll let you filths near her.” He brushes his feelings off. Masking his thoughts with harsher words. Some things truly never change.

A flight passes over his head, he’ll probably sit in the next one.

“I hope everything is safe out there, hope there’s no hostility.” Onyakapon mumbles as he closes the briefcase.

And Levi gets off from his wheelchair, limping towards his bedpost. “No harm from a guy in a wheelchair.” He tries to joke, but there’s a prick in his heart.

He can’t pick things from the shelf. Some Days he also needed help to get to the toilet. And even though he’s returning back to Mae, there’s nothing he can do for her now.

And while happiness was never a part of his destiny. He hopes she’s happy. At least one of them must be.

“Well if things are bad, you can always come back here captain.” Onyakapon’s voice cuts through the constant torture of his thoughts.

The words bring him enough solace to take him through the night. A rare smile tugs on his lips. “Thanks Onyakapon.”

It’s going to be a long trip.

_________________________

It’s 10 am, and it’s sweltering hot in Mitras. Sweat clings to Levi’s skin, and he wipes it off with the back of his hand.

His briefcase sits on his lap. And he pushes his wheelchair through the dirt road,

Vast meadows stretch in front of him. The air is fresh, and a plethora of apple trees border the sides of the road. Its shade is very welcome in the sun.

Farmhouses are scattered at a distance, crops grow in structured rows. And Levi taps his heel, as he moves past them mindlessly. His thoughts are only set on one.

Historia told him Mae’s house was at the end of the apple plantation. Luckily the terrain is flat, and he’s able to maneuver his wheelchair with ease.

Nonetheless, it’s been a tiring ride.

The royal guards did offer to escort him to Mae’s house, but he declined the offer. The moment approaching was too personal to share with a bunch of strangers.

Soon, what he’s searching for comes to vision, and eagerly he moves forward.

100 meters away from him, down the mud path, is a humble home. Its stone walls are smooth, worn out by time. And the roof is thatched with wood and straws.

There’s a small garden at the front, with saplings that are beginning to sprout. And a few meters away from it all is a park. The sight of which bubbles a bittersweet feeling in Levi's chest.

“This is it.” He exhales, cherishing the cold air on his lips. It’s a breath that he’s been holding in for too long. A yearning that has been living in his heart for years now.

His mind jogs back to a small trip they took 5 years back, on Mae’s birthday. She had booked a small cabin nestled in the middle of farmland.

He still remembers the smile on her face, and the way her eyes crinkled in the sunlight.

Her hair flowed in the wind, and he thoughtlessly followed it. Too enamored by the happiness she radiated.

The birds sang, and the lillies seemed to beam.

Stories were told by the fireplace, and they would stargaze from the flower field. Cuddling under the sheets of the stiff bed, and eating lunch under a tree's shade.

She laughed, then he smiled. And for a fleeting moment, Levi had escaped from all his responsibilities.

He realized he could spend his entire life this way, under the shadow of the sun, and the warmth of their love. He couldn’t care less about saving the world, or his tea shop even…

He just wanted to be here with her.

Forever.

But time stopped for no one. And Levi’s prayers had a habit of going unheard.

And now, 5 years later, life has brought him here again. In a secluded countryside so full of beauty and peace, and so unlike him.

This is the kind of life Mae had always wanted to live. Away from the bustle of the city, where she could spend countless hours looking at the stars.

The door to her house softly clicks. And Levi leans forward, with his breath caught in his throat.

He has felt her caress in the warmth of the sunlight. He’s heard the faint echo of her laughter in the rustling of the leaves. Every breath, every movement, was just in the hopes that he’d get to see her again.

Seasons passed by like shadows, and now finally he’s finally here, moments away from her. The journey has been staggeringly hard.

Time passes at a lumbering pace, and Levi feels like he can almost hear the creaking of the door, as it gets swinged open.

Out steps a man with a basket in his hand. He’s well built and tall, and donned in a casual attire.

And Levi’s heart drops to the floor as a sickening feeling of jealousy takes over. All of a sudden the blood is thunderous in his ears.

He feels like he can’t breathe And his heart burns at the thought that her gentle smile turns to a man who isn’t him.

A moment later, a toddler comes out, chasing behind the man.

And Levi clutches the sides of his wheelchair so tight, that his knuckles turn white.

Fuck

He feels like he’ll vomit.

Like salt to his wounds, the man picks up the child. And she smiles so bright, he can see her sweet giggle, even though it's barely audible in the distance.

The man kisses the toddler’s cheeks, and takes her to the park. And Levi watches the scene with a sting in his eye.

He was her lover once but now he's a mere bystander. A powerless man who can do nothing but just watch. The realization is like a punch to his gut, and a bittersweet memory comes to Levi’s mind.

On their last night in the cabin, he told Mae he didn’t have the time to get her a birthday present. And then she shed a silent tear, telling him how she felt like she’s carrying the entire relationship.

It wasn’t too far from the truth. He had too much on his mind as a soldier. And life was not easy when the weight of humanity rested on your shoulder. Some days he didn’t even have the time to think of her.

And Levi knew he was being selfish by keeping her chained to him, but his heart didn’t know a way of living without her.

He asked what he could do to make it up to her, and she asked him to run away to a peaceful place.

All she had ever wanted was to stay next to him.

The decision was clear in his head then, but now he wonders if he should have just eloped with her… It's not like all the wars he’s fought have turned this world into an ideal place.

The impermanence of life… It’s something that he still can’t comprehend.

What is born shall die, what has started shall end. People come and go out at their own pace. The good moments turn stale, and eventually everyone ends up alone, with only memories to comfort them. Time is truly a fickle piece of shit.

The man places the toddler on the swing, before he heads the other way. And Levi gets consumed by his thoughts.

He had people who he once held close too. Erwin, Hange, Isabel, Farlan. But they left.

He wasn’t prepared for their deaths, but somehow he made his peace with it.

But he's not ready to let Mae go yet.

Not when her name is etched in the depths of his heart. Not when her thoughts have troubled him day and night. His heart yearns for her so deep, it doesn’t know another way of living.

It was supposed to be his kid, she was supposed to be his wife. He wanted to start his tea shop too. Life just had some other plans after all.

There were days when he didn’t have the strength to get out of his makeshift bed, there were days where his injuries hurt so much, he thought he’d prefer death over the pain of living like this. But he pushed and pushed.

Because at the end of this tunnel, he saw her.

The sweet end of his tiresome journey, The reward for his unyielding perseverance. His home after years of loneliness.

But it’s been three years now. And she’s not his anymore.

A part of him wants to throttle this man, for laying his hands on her. And a part of him wants to hate on her too. But it isn’t her fault as well.

His heart has been placed in the palm of her hand for far too long. And if she decides to break it, then he’ll just have to disseminate.

He guesses he’ll just have to live with the weight of being all alone.

The silence consumes,

And Levi taps his heel in frustration.

Time passes by painfully slowly. And one minute turns into fifteen.

The man and toddler are long gone now, but Levi still continues to bleed on the edge of his seat. He continues to sweat in the heat. Too nervous to move forward, yet too regretful to turn away.

Old habits die hard, he guesses.

The strength to move forward wanes from his body and every breath he takes only shatters his composure into pieces. He never thought he’d have to taste defeat, after winning over the entire world.

There’s some shuffling in the woods, and he swivels around aghast. His reflexes are not as sharp as he used to be. And he’s too exhausted to put on the act of a stone cold person.

He tries honing on the sound of movement but what use would that even be?

Back in the day he had the strength to beat any person to a pulp. But now with his crippled leg, he’s more of a burden, than a lover.

His hands trace back to his scars, a habit he has recently developed. And insecurity floods his mind.

He feels stupid pondering over something as trivial as his appearance. He wouldn’t even pay it a thought when he was in the Survey Corps. But he’s on the way to meet the love of his life and there’s these scars on his face that make him look fucking hideous.

The pit he's falling into is not unfamiliar. It’s something that bothers him everytime he looks into the mirror.

And in the haze of his insecurities. A sweet voice finds him.

“Dadd-a?”

He gasps, slowly turning towards the voice.

A little girl peeks at him from behind a tree trunk. He can’t see much of her, as she’s a few feet away, partly covered between the dense layers of trees. But he recognises her as the same child, who stepped out of Mae’s house a few moments ago.

The silence stretches, and she continues looking at him. With her eyes all wide and beaming. And Levi sighs, not knowing how to react.

He decides he doesn’t have it in him to see Mae or her happy family. He’ll just come back another day, when his heart hurts a little less.

And so he turns his wheelchair around, almost taking a U turn. But the same innocent voice stops him again.

“Dadd-a,” the girl squeals, and her tiny shoes squeak as she waddles towards him.

And Levi feels stumped, when she wraps her tiny body around his leg.

He’s always been quick to react to situations, but now he’s frozen.

He wonders why this little girl is hugging his leg, and how she’s not scared of how scary he looks with the huge scars on his face.

And as much bitterness his heart holds at the cruel turn of fate, her purity washes it away. Slowly, gently, deliberately. His features soften, and he decides the least he can do is drop her back home to safety.

He huffs, bending down to pick her up. And as he lifts her up by her armpits, his eyes are met with the same shade of silver.

Her skin is pale, papery white in complexion and her hair is the same shade of midnight black as his. Everything from the shape of her face to the shade of her lips comes from him. And there’s also a little cravat tucked inside her red polka dot dress.

“Daddaaa,” she chimes as if she recognizes him.

And a shuddered breath escapes his lips. Her smile… It comes from Mae.

She is his. Theirs. A part of him and a part of Mae.

And Levi has faced strong emotions before. He’s had his stomach churn with anxiety, and he’s had his heart overrun with grief and loss. He’s always anticipated all the things that could happen in his future, trudged every moment with caution. But no amount of preparedness could prepare him for the moment in front of him.

His hands tremble, as he puts her down on the floor. He’s a father now… he’s been a father for the past 3 years. It's too much to process. And his heart beats so fast in his chest, he’s afraid it will break out of his ribs.

“Lilly, Lilly,” A familiar voice cuts through the moment and his heart skips a beat.

“How many times have I told you not to-” Mae steps out of the trees, panting and worried. But the sight in front of her makes the words on her tongue scurry away.

Levi is a few meters away from her, in a wheelchair with 2 long scars running down his face, just the way the Queen had foreseen in the paths.

Everyday, she has stared at this road for countless hours, waiting for him to show up. It feels like she’s waited a lifetime to see him again.

The years of separation pass by her eyes.

Countless nights were spent crying into his shirt and every breath felt like a burden.

Everyone was ecstatic about the liberation of their island. And Mae was condemned to be alone, with her dwindling will to live.

Then she met Samuel and Claus, the soldiers who showed empathy to her, in a world that had become too hostile for anyone who supported the alliance.

They took her to the Queen, and the Queen recognised her instantly, as the doctor who helped when Trost was breached.

And as a Survey Corps Soldier who was once a part of the Levi’s squad, the Queen made it her mission to protect and provide for the ones who were close to the Alliance.

That’s when Mae moved into the peaceful countryside, with Jean and Connie’s mom.

Living with people who dealt with the same grief surely gave some solace, but life was still painful. And in the midst of her pain, like a beam of light into stark darkness, her baby came into this world.

And Mae never thought she’d get to see Levi’s eyes again, but they were right in front of her. Resting so peacefully against her chest.

That night she cried tears of gratitude. Life crashed into her as peacefully as it could.

“Mama mama, dadd-a has come back,” Her daughter squeals, with her tiny finger pointing towards Levi. Her grasp on her leg is still tight, and her eyes sparkle with joy.

And Mae tries to smile, but it gets dissolved in the trail of her tears.

This moment has haunted her every second, wrecked her entire being. And as she steps closer to the dream of Levi she’s had, every night since she was pregnant, the details of him come to life.

Her eyes follow the strong curve of his jaw, chiseled as if it has been carved by an artist. The ridge of his nose is sharp as always and his thin eyebrows are slightly disheveled.

She caresses him with her gaze, before her touch can even come close.

Two different Levi’s look back at her now. On the left, his face is marred, with two long scars running down his face. He is hurt and hidden away. And she can never see him through his cloudy iris.

But in his other eye, there are flecks of hope. The black of his pupil has expanded, and his iris shines blue in the sunrays. He wears his heart on his sleeve, Mae swears she has never seen him this vulnerable before.

And she might have lived without him for 3 years, but he has lived inside her every second, in her every thought. Her hand extends towards him out of deprivation.

Life hasn’t been the kindest to her.

But when the pads of her fingers reach the hollow of his cheek, her heart steadies itself. Whenever her eyes met his orbs , her ears met his voice, and her body met his touch. His familiarity always envelopes her. As if the hearth of a warm house, always welcoming and open.

Her hands reach to his lips, the shape of which she can trace on paper, even with her eyes shut close.

And Levi closes his eyes in alleviation.

There’s a search for words. Words for the longing, words for the separation.

And Mae shudders, as the pads of her fingers skim over his skin. They trace over his scars, the old and the new. From the top of his forehead, down to the edge of his chin. From the curve of his necks down the length of his arms.

Three years have passed by, but his features are still as strong.

Her caress reaches the end of his arm, and her fingers find the indents of his knuckles. Gingerly she takes his palm into hers,

And Levi is quick to wrap the 3 fingers that remain on his hand, around her.

Her touch feels both foreign and achingly familiar. He has craved this so much.

Mae’s eyes widen at the gesture, heavy with tears. And she kisses the spot where his 2 fingers once used to be. Levi is as real as ever, she can feel every divot of his skin against her lips.

The realization breaks her, and she drops to the floor. With her head on his lap, and her arms sprawled all over his thighs.

There’s disbelief, there’s elation. The feeling can never be put into words. Her shoulders wilt, heavy with the pain of separation, and she cries into his lap.

“I missed you… You weren’t there.” Her voice is muffled against his skin. “I thought I’d never see you again.” Her sobs pierce through the quiet of the farmland.

And he stares wide eyed, biting back his tears as well.

The pain she has carried with her all these years, is right in front of him. Laced into the heavy sobs that rake through her frame.

And Levi knows he should pick her up and kiss the shit of her, but he’s frozen. For his gaze is stuck on the familiar pearl ring that rests on her ring finger.

Words fail him, and his heart spasms in his chest. “D-did y-you ? He can only stutter, as his touch lingers over the pearl. ”A-after all this time?”

The question hangs in the air, but the answer is right in front of him. In the grief that occupies her heart, in the love that still brims in her eyes. And in the tiny girl who looks exactly like him.

It feels like all the sacrifices he’s made in life have finally come to fruition. His directionless quest has finally found its destination. His exhausted soul has found its shelter.

There’s such mercy in this moment, all he can do is shudder and let out an exhale. Maybe in exhaustion, maybe in fulfillment.

And Mae looks up at him, her eyes tinged red with tears. “I was only going to wait one more year, good that you came back in time.”

He puts his hand on her head, and her body trembles beneath his touch. All the grief she has held onto for so long, slows paroles in the form of her tears.

The scene is as heartbreaking, as it is rewarding.

“Ma-ma,” Lilly babbles, her voice as bright as sunlight cutting through storm clouds. And Levi looks at her as she tries to fit herself in the space between Mae’s hunched frame and his legs.

She settles into Mae’s lap, and Mae is forced to look into her eyes full of wonder.

“Mama…” she coos, and her tiny hands wipe the fat tears that roll down Mae’s face.” Dad-da’s back, don-t be sad.”

And Mae smiles at that, certainly she takes a lot from her father.

“You’re right, my love…let’s take Dada home shall we?” Her voice turns gentler, and she gets up with Lily in her arms.

“Levi?” Mae questions, gesturing towards his lap.

And Levi hesitates, a little too afraid that he’s too scary for the delicate human being.

“You’ll be a great father, don’t worry.”

The second time he looks at her, he knows he’s doomed. Her cheeks are round and full, as if there’s food stuffed inside them. And her eyes are just like his, but there’s a brightness in them that he never had.

She settles on his lap. And as he wraps his arms around her waist, she places her tiny palms on his scarred forearms. And Levi realizes there is nothing he wouldn’t do for this tiny person that he’s just met a few moments ago.

His heart feels full of love.

Mae starts pushing his wheelchair forward. And he closes his eyes, as he feels the wind against his face. It’s a moment that makes him feel grateful to be alive.

In a span of a few minutes, they’re already outside the veranda to her house. And Levi can smell the Lavender she has planted in the front garden.

“It’s not a big house but it’s enough. I stay here with Jean and Connie’s mom… Luckily for us though, they’ve gone to Trost for a bit.” Mae speaks, as she picks Lily from Levi’s lap, and places her inside the house.

“It’s a very sweet place though. All the farmers staying around often visit. It’s like a big family. Borris was here too, half an hour back. You might have seen him…he wanted to take some cookies for his son.”

“Ahh,’ Levi drawls, as if he didn’t spend fifteen minutes hating on that man. “I don’t think I saw him.”

She takes his briefcase in one hand, and hooks her other arm around his waist. Slowly helping him up the short flight of stairs. And he wants to do nothing, but melt in her embrace

“I can walk for a few minutes.” Her murmurs, almost embarrassed.

“You’re not walking anywhere until I check your leg myself.” She reprimands, but the softness in her eyes contradicts her strict tone.

As it turns out, Mae’s house is very much a home.

The interior is simple and modest. There’s a couch, two wooden chairs and a table in the front room. The wooden floor creaks as he steps in. And the walls are filled with the crayon marks.

“I’ll get your wheelchair inside.” Mae mumbles as she seats Levi on the couch.

And when Mae comes back in again, Lilly has already managed to climb on the couch. She’s standing on Levi’s lap with her hands on his cheeks. The faintest of smiles plays on Levi’s lips, and he holds her by the waist, making sure she doesn’t lose balance.

The sight makes Mae’s heart swell. Her entire world is now in front of her. Her heart feels so full and so heavy at the same time. And her eyes turn misty again.

“Oi oi, don’t start with all the crying again?” Levi mutters as he notices her standing by the door.

And Mae sniffs, overwhelmed. “I’ll make you some tea?”

“Yaa- Da-dda love teaaa.” Lilly squeals, before Levi can even respond to Mae.

And Mae smiles. Her family is finally complete... a few years back she would have never believed she’d get the privilege of experiencing this.

And just as she’s about to turn towards the kitchen, Levi stops her.

“Mae…” His voice drawls, and he pats the spot next to him. “Tea can wait.”

_________________________

The world outside fades into a quiet hum as the bustle of the morning stretches into the lull of the afternoon.

The sun has draped itself over the earth, like a soft blanket. And Levi rests on the bed. He’s just finished his lunch, and he allows himself to sink into the mattress.

Time seems to have been caught in the gentle sway of the trees, and Levi takes his sweet time looking at the things around him.

Lily's soft toys are stacked on top of the cupboard. And there's a wooden cabinet, filled with all of Mae's favorite books.

The curtains are made of colorful crocheted patchwork. And somehow Mae has managed to bring most of her things from her house in Trost here.

But it's not just that. Levi's stuff is here too.

There’s a cupboard next to Mae with his clothes folded and organized just the way he likes it. His favorite novels and teacups are kept in a separate cabinet. And right in front of the bed, there's a wall with paintings of the three of them together.

It feels like nothing has changed, like he was never away.

And everytime he closes his eyes, his heart begins to race. But for the first time, the adrenaline that flows through him isn’t nerve-racking. It feels exciting

The curtains above his head billow softly with the wind. A mild breeze enters the bedroom and Levi tilts his face to bask in its warmth.

His whole world now lies in his arms. Snoring peacefully, with her hand wrapped around his finger. She's so tiny, that all of her body fits on his torso.

And he lets out a sigh as he feels the subtle rise of her tiny chest against his own.

“Are you not able to sleep, because all of a sudden there’s a child on your chest, and you don’t know where she came from?” Mae steps into the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

“I can clearly tell where she comes from.” Levi comments as he looks at his dear daughter. “Is this why you were crying so much the day I was leaving for Marley?”

“Mhmm… “ Mae nods, as she rests her back against the door. And Levi closes his eyes, listening to her voice.

“You had to save the world Levi, you had to give it your all. And you would have died hating yourself if you knew you had a child coming into the world, that you weren’t going to be there for… As much as I was dying to tell you about my pregnancy, I thought it was best to keep it from you…” It’s an uncomfortable topic that defines the rest of their future, Mae’s eyes fall to the ground.

If only she would look up, she would see Levi with the faintest of smiles, thinking of how he can actually see her instead of imagining her.

“I know a child was never something you wanted… So I understand how complicated this situation can be for you.” Mae goes on and Levi lays still with his eyes shut in contentment, hoping for time to slow down.

“What?” She gasps, finally looking up at him. “Say something? I’ll never know how you’re feeling if you don’t tell me about it.”

Finally his eyes flutter open, and he looks at her through the curtain of his lashes. A faint smile plays on his lips, and his cheeks turn pink as he stretches out his other hand towards her. “Come here.”

In an instant, her features soften, turning into one of relief. And she smiles as makes her way to him.

She rests her head on his shoulder.And he drinks in every detail. As if he’s a parched man, dying of thirst. His heart pounds in his chest, and then his gaze falls towards her lips.

It doesn’t take too long for their lips to fuse together. It’s a simple kiss, but it’s been years.

They part in bliss.

And Levi brings her hands to his lips, pressing a doting kiss on her skin. She’s his to keep, his to salvage.He can’t put his gratitude into words.

“Thank you.” His voice is heavy. “ I-I…” He wants to tell her how happy he is to be next to her. He wants to tell her how exhausting it was without her. And that he can’t believe she’s all his. He wants to tell her about all the letters he’s written to her. But his heart is lodged so deep in his throat that he can’t squeak out the words he desperately wants to say.

“Rest my love.” She keeps her thumb on his lip, tracing his bottom lip. “We have time.”

His eyes flutter shut at her words, and her hand reaches to the top of his head. She starts combing out the hair that falls on his forehead.

His old scars have faded, almost blending into his skin. And the hard muscles on his chest have been replaced with soft dimpled skin. The lines in the corner of her eyes run deep.

He’s softer now. Marked by age, but just as beautiful.

Her finger traces down his cheek, following the scar that runs across his face. The feeling of his skin dipping under her fingers almost feels overwhelming.

“Levi,” she calls, caressing the side of his face. And he responds by leaning into her touch.

“I can’t believe you’re real,” She murmurs.

The silence is blissful.

And Levi feels his heart flutter, just like it did when she held his hand for the first time.

“Mae…” his voice trails off and he gulps. “How did Lily recognise me?... It feels like she knows so much about me?”

And Mae tilts her head up. “She’s heard stories about you ever since she was in my womb, of course she knows a lot about you… We even got someone to draw a portrait of you last year, because she wanted to see you for her birthday.”

“She thinks you’re some kind of hero Levi.” Mae yawns, “A few months back, she was trying to eat food by herself, and she ended up making a mess… which was fine because she was just learning, but she started crying frantically, and I asked her what happened? She said Dada wouldn’t like her, because she made a mess and Dada hates messes.”

Mae’s eyes trail to the way her daughter sleeps, with her cheek squished against Levi’s chest, and her eyes are shut close in peace. “She thinks you’re some kind of hero.”

And Levi remains silent. Afraid the words will ruin the tender moment.

It might seem like he’s dozed off, but the pink crawling on his cheek tells otherwise.

And Mae looks at him with the softest of smiles. For the first time in a long while, her heart feels complete.

“Actually she is right… you are a hero.” She mumbles as she closes her eyes in peace.

And a single tear slips past his eye.

He’s finally home.

Thoughts? Thoughts? Thoughts?

I know its a very simple, cliche, happily ever after ending, but I really REALLY wanted Levi to have a family of his own, and experience a normal, happy life, which is why I made Mae pregnant lol.

To anyone who has made this far. I would love to know your thoughts on the entire story. Things you liked, didn't like. Your feedback is crucial.

I'm going to start editing this fic from now on, and whatever you say will be considered. So I would love to know your thoughts on what could get better and be improved.

Something else, I'm very excited about is designing and illustrating a book cover (since I am a graphic designer lol) and get a few hardcopies printed for myself!! I'm assuming I'll be done with it by DEC 25th, so right now I do plan to post an Epilogue/ bonus chapter and share the book cover designs on Dec 25th. (I don;t know if anyone is interested in this, but I'm just doing it for myself hehe)

I would like to thank the many people who have been a constant support while writing this. I don't think I can tag everyone since they are on different platforms, so I'll just mention their names here. @Alexandra218943 , Cupidcup, @musumusuhasi and Abha , I wouldn't have completed this without you, so thank you <3

And to all the people who have commented, and interacted with the story at any point. I want to let you know that I've had a shit month at work, my self esteem has been at an all time low , and the only thing that's made me feel capable of something are your comments, and I keep going back to them! So thank you for that, I am immensely grateful!

[axkirak]

The Curse of Cassandra [EP : XIV] - END

Read in Ao3 : here

Pairings :  Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader)  [The Acolyte]

Content Rating : Mature 18+ Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning (AT YOUR OWN RISK)

tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers

Summary : ‘Pick a flower on Earth and you move the farthest star.’ This describes chaos theory and the workings of fate as well, which illustrates how your final change of destiny moves the fate of the entire galaxy.

Status: Completed (Finally! 😭)

A/N : I can’t believe I actually finished writing this fic! It’s my first long English fic, and I’m pretty proud of it. I know my writing still has a lot of flaws (since English isn’t my strong suit), but I’m so happy people enjoyed it.

I loveeeee yapping about my own writing, so I plan to share more about this fic in another post—things like plot points I didn’t include and alternative endings I considered. Hope that sounds interesting to you, LOL

Lastly, a huge thank you to everyone who stuck with this fic till the end. Your comments and encouragement really kept me going, and I couldn’t have done it without you <3

Ps.Please go back and read the Intro again before starting the final chapter, as it’s part of the ending. (I used a storytelling style where the story opens with the ending) Reading the Intro first will help you understand the story more clearly.

And don’t forget to play this song while reading >> Skugge

I listened to it while writing the ending, and it really sets the mood

➡  Intro // EP : 1 // EP : 2 // EP : 3 // EP : 4 // EP : 5 // EP : 6 // EP : 7 // EP : 8 // EP : 9 // EP : 10 // EP : 11 // EP : 12 // EP : 13

Special OS : Phantom Thread // My mother is my enemy

[Episodes 14] The Power of Two. (Completed)

When contemplating deeply, every entity in the universe is intricately connected in various ways.

On the quantum level, all particles are entangled and influence each other regardless of distance. Even the smallest, minor actions can trigger unforeseen consequences that ripple through the universe. This is far more complex than ordinary humans can immediately comprehend. 

And that’s exactly how fate works.

You know that the chain reaction has already begun the moment you decided to shoot Yord yourself. 

The stun blaster is designed to be non-lethal—at most, it would knock Yord unconscious and possibly immobile for several hours. But this is all you need to save his life from the fate you've foreseen on the path ahead.

You've always known—Yord and Qimir are polar opposites, destined to kill each other. Yord stands for the light, while Qimir embodies the darkness. They cannot coexist in the same world. Whenever they fight, one must die, or both shall perish. There are only those three possible outcomes.

So you chose a fourth path: to prevent them from confronting each other so that neither would have to die.

You’ve only just realized how much selfishness lies beneath love. Instead of seeking a way to prevent the disaster that’s looming a hundred years from now, you chose to defy fate. You interfered with the story as it was meant to play out, pushing the universe toward an unpredictable risk—all for the sake of one word: 'love.'

The essence of Paul that flows within you still remembers the agony of the day Chani and Alia Atreides departed. Even though thousands of years have gone by, the torment remains too vivid to forget—like your heart being torn apart while still beating and your soul shattered beyond repair. You can't bear the risk of losing anyone to fate’s cruel hand again.

That's why you did it. You gambled on a path that has never appeared in any of your visions, not knowing what the consequences would be.

And you never expected that the consequences of your choice would ripple out so quickly.

You didn’t realize it...until you had to face the truth before your eyes half an hour later.

How could this be?

You stood frozen, as though the entire world had stopped spinning. Your gaze was fixed on Jackie's body, now lying motionless on the ground among the other corpses. The deep, searing wound from a lightsaber had cut through her flesh, blood pooling beneath her, staining the Jedi robes that were once yellow but were now soaked in a dark, gruesome hue.

The acrid stench of burnt flesh mingled with the metallic scent of blood, hanging thick in the air.

Jackie is still breathing, but her breaths grow weaker with every passing second. Her face contorts in excruciating pain, a pain that lasts only for a brief moment before her final breath escapes. Her eyes remain wide open—a sign that life has already slipped away.

At that moment, you hear a scream echoing in your ears, but the haze of shock leaves everything muffled.

You don't even know whose scream it is—Sol's or your own?

Never once did you think Jackie would die. In every vision you’d seen, she always survived, though gravely injured—losing an arm in the fight against Qimir. That was why you decided to come back instead of escaping alone. You knew that as long as Qimir lived, there was no escaping him—not for you. But Jackie still had a chance. If only you could get her and Yord aboard the ship in time before everything spiraled out of control, that would be enough.

But when you arrived, it was already too late. You saw it clearly with your own eyes: Qimir’s red lightsaber pierced through Jackie’s body three times, each strike aimed at a vital spot. There was no way she could survive such an attack.

You realized too late that the death of someone you loved was inevitable and unchangeable. If Yord and Qimir lived, it meant that Jackie would be the one to die. This was the consequence of your selfish attempt to alter fate. Jackie didn't die by Qimir's hand—it was your decision that sealed her fate.

You want to cry. The corners of your eyes burn with the sting of unshed tears, but none come. The grief is suppressed by the flood of information about the future that surges through your mind. You know you’ll mourn when the time comes, but not now. Not when death is crawling toward you.

“Run!”

A sharp voice jolts you from your thoughts. Finally, you hear it clearly—it’s Sol’s voice. He stands across the way, disheveled and wounded, with a minor gash at his side. His face shows shock, his voice shaking with fear. “Run! You shouldn’t be here!”

But his warning comes too late. You don’t even have a chance to respond, let alone follow his command. Suddenly, an invisible force wraps around you, tightening with each second, squeezing the breath from your lungs as if trying to crush you completely. You gasp, struggling for air, unable to move, like a drowning person on the verge of losing consciousness.

In that instant, memories from the depths of your mind flood back, dragging you into the nightmare you once foresaw. Each scene is like pieces of a puzzle coming together to form the terrible reality before you. 

Your eyes fix on a tall figure in a black cloak, his deformed metal helmet etched with a grotesque grin. He stands amidst the scattered corpses of fallen Jedi, radiating an aura of ruthless malevolence. His gaze, hidden beneath the helmet, stares intensely at you. Though you cannot see his face, you clearly sense the fury seething within him.

And in the blink of an eye, a tremendous force pulls you toward him with ease, leaving you powerless to resist.

You are completely at his mercy, your body suspended in mid-air as his large hand grips your throat. He could crush your windpipe or snap your neck in an instant; however, he holds back. You sense his intent through the shared consciousness that binds the two of you. This is how The Stranger plays with his prey. When he wears that helmet, he becomes a merciless hunter, driven only by the instinct to kill.

Sol doesn't hesitate. The moment he sees you in danger, he charges forward, his blue lightsaber flashing brilliantly as he swings it toward the Sith Lord. But the enemy moves with surprising speed. He yanks you closer, locking you in a chokehold with his arm, then tilts his body slightly, using his helmet as a shield to deflect the attack. When Sol’s lightsaber strikes the cortosis metal, it sparks and fizzles, rendering Sol’s weapon temporarily useless.

You draw a deep breath, your body tense as the Sith Lord's lightsaber hilt presses against your neck. He hasn’t activated it yet, but you know the moment he does, your face and brain will be reduced to charred flesh in an instant.

“Don’t even think about trying any tricks if you don’t want to lose your tongue,” comes the cold whisper in your ear. You understand the threat well: Qimir is the only one who knows your true capabilities. The Voice is a powerful secret weapon for the Bene Gesserit, and he won't give you the chance to wield it.

Even if you dared to try, it wouldn’t change anything. It would only hasten the end for both you and Sol. You’ve already seen the future that awaits if you choose that path. So, you stay silent for now, your mind racing to find another way—any way to turn the tables on Qimir.

“Let her go. She has nothing to do with this. Let it be between you and me!” Sol shouts, reigniting his lightsaber, but you can see that his hope hasn’t reignited.

Apart from Yord, who lies unconscious somewhere in the forest, Sol is now the only Jedi left breathing, while his comrades, including his padawan, are all dead. He should have been dead too, if you hadn’t intervened.

“But you brought her here, didn’t you?” the Sith taunts. “And I’m certain you wouldn’t have made it this far without this Bene Gesserit witch guiding you.”

As he finishes speaking, you feel his arm tighten around your neck, making it almost impossible to breathe. The suffocating pain forces you to struggle, your hands weakly hitting his arm to no avail. All you get in return is a mocking laugh.

“Bene Gesserit... the origin of both the Sith and the Jedi. Isn’t it fascinating that such remarkable beings still exist in the galaxy?” He reaches out, gripping your chin and studying your face closely before turning his attention back to Sol. "But what a pity that she chose the wrong side."

Sol shifts, readying himself to strike again, but the man in black is one step ahead. He lifts the hilt of his lightsaber to your temple without a word, yet his intent is clear—if Sol dares to take another step forward, you will die.

The Jedi grits his teeth, reluctantly deactivating his lightsaber. His eyes remain fixed on you as he addresses the Sith, "Tell me, what do you want?"

He’s stalling for time, you think. But how long can it last? You know you can’t rely on Sol alone. You need to find a way out too.

A harsh breath hisses out from beneath his helmet; it’s hard to tell whether it comes from exhaustion or amusement.

"At first, I thought I only wanted freedom: freedom from the Jedi's absurd rules, freedom to feel regret and anger, and freedom to follow my own desires," he answered flatly, as if what he desired were something ordinary, not the taking of lives. "But now I know what I truly want. I want to change; I want to liberate this universe from self-proclaimed guardians like you..."

His words stop abruptly. The silence that follows makes your heart tremble. You can feel his cold, burning rage—rage directed at the Jedi and rage directed at you.

"...And I would have achieved it sooner if I hadn’t been betrayed by someone.”

A scream rips from your throat, unprepared for the sudden, crushing weight of his boot as it slams hard into your shin. The sound of breaking bones is crystal clear. The pain is so intense that tears spring to your eyes, and your legs give way, no longer able to hold you up. But you don’t collapse completely, as Qimir still holds you upright, his grip on your arm unrelenting. His lightsaber is still pressed to your temple, while he turns to shake his head to warn Sol, who is ready to lunge forward again.

“Think about it, Sol. Why are you still trying to save her? She’s the reason you’re in this mess. Without her, you all might still be alive.”

The Sith Lord speaks with chilling indifference, completely unfazed by your whimpers as he presses his boot lightly against your broken leg, deliberately toying with your suffering. "But this one... she exposed me. So, now I have to kill every single last one of you."

You flinch, a cold shiver running down your spine. His voice—there’s something disturbingly strange about it, twisted and eerie, nothing like the Qimir you once knew.

Time is running out. Your heightened awareness warns you: he will kill Sol first, then possibly you.

You bite down hard on your lip, tasting blood. If there were any other way, you wouldn’t resort to this, but it’s the only option you know will work. And right now, there’s no other choice.

Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to speak, your voice as loud as you can manage.

"Please... don’t kill me. I’m pregnant!”

Silence falls instantly. Even the soft whisper of the wind seems unnaturally loud in the sudden stillness.

No one can see the expression behind his helmet, but you know without a doubt—he is shocked, utterly stunned by what he’s just heard.

And Sol notices it too—the brief moment when the Sith Lord’s guard drops, his grip on the lightsaber loosening without him realizing. It’s a tiny flaw, difficult to spot unless one is well-trained.

As if time stands still, Sol suddenly meets your glance, recognizing the purposeful look in your eyes. 

In that heartbeat, he knows exactly what to do.

Everything takes place within seconds: the Jedi ignites his lightsaber, lunging forward with all his strength and slashing into Qimir’s arm—the arm holding the lightsaber—sending both blood and the weapon crashing to the ground. The Sith Lord’s yell echoes through the forest.

Seizing the moment, you slip from Qimir’s grasp effortlessly. Sol pulls you toward safety, shoving you in another direction and shouting, “Get to the ship, quickly! I’ll catch up!”

He will never catch up to me, you think, glancing back at Sol one last time before turning away. Both of you know it—fate is already sealed. Sol will not leave this place tonight, and neither will you.

You force your battered body to keep moving, relying on the one leg that still functions, though each step is agonizing, nearly unbearable. Finally, you give up, sighing in resignation. With your current condition, reaching the ship is impossible. Fate has blocked every path—unchangeable and irreversible.

The only option left is to face the consequences of the choices you have made.

Weary, you sit down on a large stone not far from where you were. Jedi corpses still litter the area. A deep sorrow weighs on your chest as your gaze falls upon the faces of the fallen, remembering that just hours ago, they were all still alive.

Human life is so fragile, you think. No matter how many times you witness death, you can never grow used to it.

The sky visibly darkens as clouds turn a dull gray. The scent of moisture in the air gradually mutes the smell of blood. Rain will come soon, but you make no move to seek shelter. You place a hand on your slightly swollen belly, feeling the tiny life forming inside—the fruit of an instinctual mistake—now becoming another life reaching for the future amidst an approaching catastrophe.

At four months, it’s hard for most to see, but your Bene Gesserit training allows you to know everything about the growing flesh within you. Events unfold exactly as you’ve foreseen, and when this child is born, the future is certain—the beginning of the Skywalker and the path of a new Kwisatz Haderach.

You don’t want this child to be born, but it’s beyond your control now. The intricate weave of fate and bloodlines over the millennia has led everything to this point. Regardless of how much you try to avoid or change it, the Kwisatz Haderach will come into existence. It happened with Jessica thousands of years ago, and now it’s happening to you.

“The Bene Gesserit believe they can control everything, but the one thing they can never control is fate.”

Paul Atreides’ words resonate in your consciousness. You recall him saying this when you first discovered the truth about what will transpire in the next century through the realm of Alam al-Mithal.

“Every action in the present is a gamble for a precarious future. You cannot dictate the outcome to be what you want, and you’ll never know what will happen next until you’ve already made your choice,” Paul had said.

You tremble, feeling both isolated and terrified. It’s a profound fear—so deep that you don’t know how to express it. You know the path ahead has already changed. The universe has deviated from its course because of your actions, yet you have no idea whether things will get better or worse.

You close your eyes, forcing your mind into rapid meditation, trying to regain control over your thoughts. You push yourself into an awareness of the countless probabilities of the future, alongside everything that has occurred in the past. Those paths stretch out in every direction, twisting and overlapping in a bewildering tangle like gazing at the rippling surface of water that constantly morphs.

In that haze of uncertainty, you witness Paul Atreides wielding a crysknife, locked in a life-or-death duel with Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, as per the ancient tradition. He uses that knife to kill Feyd, claiming the title of Emperor on that very day.

This marks the first turning point of the universe.

Next, you find yourself pulling the trigger of a stun blaster, firing at Yord from behind to shield him from confronting Qimir, thus altering the fate that could have led him to his death today.

This is the second turning point.

The change doesn’t only affect Yord’s fate. The ripple effect expands, enveloping everything within the universe. Multiple branching paths start to converge, merging into a singular path.

Finally... you glimpse the true outcome of the path you've chosen, which will reveal itself in over a century.

This is the gamble you've already placed your bet on, for this purpose and for this moment.

"Qimir"

His name sounds strange when you utter it, as if it's not a name you're familiar with, and the man before you is not the man you know.

You understand why you feel this way: he is no longer your Qimir but The Stranger—the Sith Lord responsible for the slaughter of the Jedi.

He stands before you, unmasked, his dark eyes cold as ice, staring at you impassively. There’s no longer a need for him to hide. Every aspect of him, every dark secret, has been laid bare—just as everything about you has.

The man chuckles softly and moves even closer, cutting off any chance for you to escape. You swallow hard, trying to turn your face away from his intense gaze. But he doesn't let you. His fingers, wet with others' blood, dig into both of your cheeks, pressing hard enough to hurt, forcing you to look only at him.

"Surprised?" He leans in closer, his hot breath on your face, and whispers softly in your ear, "I told you, you can't run away from me."

His words are not merely a threat to you; they are the truth. 

Because you both are bound by fate—an unbreakable karmic bond. No matter how much you try to run away from him, you will always be drawn back together. The only way to truly be free of him is death.

"I know, but a little effort wouldn't hurt, right?"

You respond, your tone almost playful, a smile still lingering on your pale face. It's as if everything is normal and under control, displaying no fear despite being at a complete disadvantage.

Your demeanor causes Qimir to furrow his brow, sensing something suspicious beneath your seemingly ordinary smile.

He doesn't quite understand, not until you slip your hand under your clothes.

Your body instinctively moves; muscle memory from years of training kicks in. In a flash, the knife hidden in your clothes flips into your palm, its sharp tip poised just inches from Qimir’s face.

You still remember every technique Qimir taught you—especially how to fight with a knife. You know you have numerous opportunities to thrust the knife into his vital points—his throat, neck, heart, or lungs.

But instead, you turn the knife on yourself. Without hesitation, without a second thought, you plunge it toward your own heart.

Before the knife pierces your flesh, Qimir's hand shoots out, gripping your wrist just in time. His dark eyes widen in shock, almost seeming terrified. Then, quickly, his expression twists into anger.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" he snaps.

"I thought you wanted me dead," you reply calmly, indifferent to his anger.

Qimir falls silent, appearing speechless for a moment. "I don't want you dead," he finally says, though he doesn’t seem certain of his own words.

It's changed again,  you think, but this time, you feel an unusual sense of relief.

You're well aware that he could kill you at any moment. You’ve seen all the possibilities of how Qimir might end your life, and what just happened was one of those scenarios.

Even though you’re skilled at fighting, you know you could never match Qimir. Had you chosen to stab him moments ago, you would have failed, and he would have killed you without hesitation. You’d have met a miserable end right here, just like in the visions you’ve seen so many times before.

However, by choosing to turn the knife on yourself, you altered the course of events. Qimir was caught off guard, never expecting you would actually dare to do it.

You’ve made him angry, of course, but you’ve also ignited the fear he tries so hard to conceal. It reminds him of the time you drank the Water of Life and slipped into a near-death coma for weeks. During that time, Qimir had been frantic and panicked, not knowing how to save you and fearing that you might die.

Qimir may not realize it yet—or perhaps he’s unwilling to admit it. However, witnessing this moment again will eventually compel him to confront the truth: he doesn’t truly want you dead.

This is all part of your plan. Your reckless actions sow a seed of fear in Qimir’s heart, and from now on, the thought of killing you will never cross his mind again.

Since escaping from Qimir is impossible, you must ensure your safety while trapped by his side.

“But you broke my leg!” You pretend to remain defiant, pointing to your leg and matching his anger with your own. “And you held your lightsaber to my head. Now you’re telling me you don’t want me dead? How am I supposed to believe that?”

Qimir clenches his jaw, appearing as if he wants to grab and shake you until the frustration fades.

Instead of doing that, he lets go of you, stepping back slightly before letting out a long sigh, as if unsure how to deal with you.

“That’s because you betrayed me. The rest? I was just threatening that Jedi.” He speaks through gritted teeth, glancing at your leg before shrugging. “And I’m pretty sure a broken leg won’t kill anyone, will it?”

For a split second, you feel the urge to laugh at his sarcasm, even though there’s nothing remotely funny about this situation.

Both of you look worse for wear—blood-soaked and gravely injured. He’s just killed someone, almost killing you as well.

Who would’ve thought that the two of you would end up sitting across from each other, arguing back and forth like a foolish couple trying to figure out who’s right or wrong?

It feels strange how the tension between you both suddenly eases; for a brief moment, Qimir resembles the man you once knew.

You notice this subtle shift and realize this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. You quickly organize your thoughts and steady your emotions. Because there’s something important you need to discuss with Qimir—and this is the perfect moment to do so. There won’t be another chance.

“Qimir, I’ll help you,” you say firmly this time. “I don’t care how many Jedi you kill, but I have one condition.”

Qimir narrows his eyes, his sharp gaze scrutinizing your face as if searching for deception. He doesn’t trust you, especially after you betrayed him once and fled with the Jedi.

Yet, you don’t need to prove anything to him because Qimir needs you. Your power is what he desires, and across the galaxy, you’re the only one who possesses this unique ability.

Your assumption is correct. He finally nods. "What’s your condition?"

"The one person you cannot kill is Yord Fandar."

“Why?”

"Because I’ve seen a vision. He’s the only one who can kill you. You must avoid him," you say, though this isn’t the whole truth. Qimir has an equal chance of killing Yord himself, but it’s better to let him believe otherwise, to keep him away from Yord in the future. "But don’t worry. He won’t be a Jedi anymore after this."

You’re certain of this, as it’s what you’ve seen in your vision—a part of the altered path extending ahead.

The tragedy today will leave a permanent mark on Yord’s soul. Losing all his companions while he alone survives will haunt him like an unforgiveable sin. The guilt will gnaw at him, wearing him down until he can no longer bear the burden of being a Jedi.

Eventually, Yord will choose to leave the Order, turning his back on the Jedi way forever.

In many ways, Yord’s fate mirrors Qimir’s past. But there is one crucial difference: Yord never succumbs to the dark side. He has too much light within him to be overtaken by darkness. He becomes neither Sith nor Jedi, but a Wayseeker,[1] traveling the galaxy in search of the true meaning of life and the Force.

Yord’s life will take another turn when he reaches the planet Naboo, where he is destined to rescue the daughter of a noble family held for ransom by space pirates. This event leads to their falling in love, and Yord will eventually marry her, settling down to build a family and live out his days in peace.

His bloodline will continue, becoming a crucial variable in the future—a girl named Padmé Amidala.

In the future, she will be the love of Anakin Skywalker’s life and the primary reason for his fall to the Dark Side as a Sith Lord, plunging the galaxy into darkness. Yet, at the same time, Padmé’s existence will spark a new hope.

Luke and Leia Skywalker, the twins of Anakin and Padmé, will grow up to stop their father's devastation and restore balance to the Force.

Among the many paths branching through the stream of time, this is the only path where the Kwisatz Haderach faces total defeat.

"Promise me." You insist, eyes locked onto Qimir's with unwavering determination, barely blinking. "Promise me you will believe and do everything as I say."

"You ask for my trust after betraying me, my love?" He retorts sharply.

"You must trust me; you have no other choice." Your voice is calm, cold, and confident, as if you hold all the cards. "And neither do I, my love." The last line deliberately echoes his words.

You watch Qimir carefully, using the Bene Gesserit’s observation techniques. You notice the slight twitch at the corner of his lips—amusement mixed with satisfaction.

“You should have thought like this before betraying me," he murmurs, raising his hand. You have to force yourself not to flinch as his bloodstained fingers touch your cheek. "I have my own conditions, too."

You freeze, suddenly aware of the shifting dynamics. The familiar pressure returns, creeping in slowly and making the atmosphere heavy and uncomfortable. You immediately realize how serious Qimir is about his conditions.

This is a delicate moment for your fate, and you know you cannot afford to make a mistake.

You lower your gaze slightly, your voice dry and uncertain as you ask, "What do you want?"

"You," Qimir says with a teasing smile, though his tone betrays a far darker intent. "You belong to me. That means your life—whether you live or die—depends entirely on me. And don’t ever think about running away from me again."

His fingers trail up to your neck, brushing slowly over your shoulder. Each touch is tender, leaving you frozen as tension seeps through every muscle in your body.

"And I need to ensure this never happens again, even if it means breaking your other leg. But you won't force me to do that, will you?"

He means it, you realize. This is his way of letting you know he’ll forgive you this time, but there won't be a second act of mercy.

As you blink, fragments of the future flash before your eyes, disjointed glimpses of what’s to come—a warning, urging you to brace yourself. 

You see countless more deaths on the horizon—deaths you'll help Qimir plan through your visions. You'll have to endure this torment, bitter and broken, haunted by the overwhelming guilt of what you’ve done for the rest of your life.

And you see yourself forever trapped, with Qimir watching your every move. You won't go anywhere without him or his permission. You will never be free again, like a bird with clipped wings.

This is the worst fate possible for you, yet you understand that this is the only path that holds a chance, the last hope to save the universe. You have no choice but to do whatever it takes to protect it, even if it means living as Qimir’s prisoner and forced to commit terrible atrocities for him, without question.

But it will be worth it. It has to be worth it. You reassure yourself silently as you nod slowly in response to Qimir.

He smiles faintly before leaning in to claim your lips in an intense kiss—a kiss that serves as both promise and a vow. His kiss is cold, reminiscent of a winter stripped of warmth, tinged with a metallic hint of blood. You don’t like it, but you don't push him away. You're too exhausted to resist, surrendering to fate and to Qimir.

There's nothing left for you to do but hope—hope that the path you've chosen is the right one.

Even though you will not live to witness the final outcome.

Footnotes:

[1] A Wayseeker is actually a position within the Jedi Order, referring to Jedi who want to carry out their duties independently of the Jedi Council's directives. However, in this fanfic, I don't consider Wayseekers to be Jedi like in canon; instead, I’m writing Wayseekers as independent Force users, completely separate from both Jedi and Sith.

[simonsquest]

5, 22, 44 :>

5. have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, son YES! I have a 150+ track TRFSB-inspired playlist that I’ve been meaning to compile and share. I’ll try to do that this weekend if my schedule allows. It’s so great for daydreaming. :^)

22. describe your writing process from scratch to finish. Step 1 - daydream about the big, high-stakes moments Step 2 - jot down beats for the scenes that I’m daydreaming about (usually dialogue, or specific body language, just to get it on paper and capture the essence of what I want to evoke) Step 3 - agonize for months trying to make an entire story around the big, high-stakes moments in order to justify it being both Big and High-Stakes Step 4 - finally make a five-page outline too late into the process that I will inevitably tweak even though it’s supposed to be a source of truth Step 5 - cry, probably Step 6 - miss deadlines (very important to the process, you see) Step 7 - finally sit down and try to write the damn thing, headphones on, for a few hours Step 8 - think it’s absolute garbage, put it away for a few days b/c I can’t bear to look at it, truly feel like I’m in over my head and I’ve written myself into a corner and I cannot think of how to get over the hurdle Step 9 - come back to it begrudgingly because it needs to get done, only to realize it’s not that bad, and I choose to build off of it instead of re-writing from the beginning Step 10 - “finish” writing the chapter, but hold on publishing - I always go back to it the next day for final adjustments and fresh eyes Step 11 - read the finalized chapter aloud to my incredibly patient and wonderful partner Step 12 - they poke holes through my plot inconsistencies or areas that need clarification Step 13 - I spend the rest of the day trying to meet their feedback halfway because at this point I just want the chapter to be done so I can move onto the next Step 14 - more often than not, I just say “oh well, it’s good enough” and/or “they can’t all be ground-breaking” and publish anyway Step 15 - after publishing, refresh my AO3 and Tumblr like a madman in bated anticipation for my wonderful regulars to see the chapter and hope with all my heart that it’s been worth the wait

Alternatively: Step 1 - think about the blorbo in situations Step 2 - ??? Step 3 - profit

44. any writing advice you want to share? I’ll offer some advice that I don’t often follow, lol: allow yourself to read/consume/watch/listen to other content that’s outside of your project. Bonus points if it can be loosely related to your project. It’ll inspire you and challenge you to use new language, new approaches, new ideas. I don’t follow this advice as much as I should. (I can’t remember the last time I read a physical book… and I wouldn’t say the Worlds of Power Simon’s Quest book counts…)

But discovering the Jekyll and Hyde musical recently awakened some fierce inspiration in me. (Thanks again, Maria!)

[flcwermimi]

— VOID STATE PROGRESS CHART ❜

Hlo everyone so right now my Summer breaks are going on and I've decided to enter the void state because I can and this is my daily routine progress chart though I've decided to share this with you all yesterday but I was unable to post so I am sharing it right now

Ok my routine is simple and right now I am not doing anything in day ( like listening to subliminals or doing robotic affirmation) I am using deep trance hypnosis method which I got to know by @/gorgeouslypink when I came across one her of post she suggested this video and after that when I research a little bit on this topic I get to know that DEEP TRANCE : is altered states that are characterized by profound relaxation and loss of control over the body, as well as a subjective sense of floating or detachment from one's physical self

I kind of found deep trance similar to Void helpful for my brain because it doesn't question around when I am doing this method

So this all for this post right now I will be updating it after doing the method tonight bye luv you all🫶🤍

— 5/07/2024 : okay so update 😭this is hilarious lmao what happened actually is that I thought first I will do some breathing exercises for relaxation & for which I was listening to a video and I didn't knew that my mobile was charge was low on the top of that I fell asleep on my back lol but anyway I when I woke in up the morning I affirm that ' I can enter the void when I want ' I will update tomorrow luv y'all 😌

— 6/07/2024 : y'all probably thought I had give up but no I was in mobile area for few so days so there no internet connection and for update I had change the methods because the voice in hypnosis is too sweet to focus. everytime I found myself wandering in different things. So what I did in next two days was focusing on lucid dreaming

— 7/07/2024 : The whole day I listen to this subliminal ( probably one of the best subliminal I've ever found) while listening to subliminals I affirmed that ' I am always aware when I am dreaming & I lucid dream easily and effortlessly ' I kept doing reality check every hour like biting tounge counting fingers and pinching nose though in the night'I didn't dream😭lmao all I remember was a pitch black so belive I was in void but unaware and I also kept the subliminal on loop so that was the mistake I guess

— 8/07/2024 : Again I did the same routine which I did yesterday but this time I didn't kept the subliminals loop all night instead I started counting while affirming the same affirmation then I fall asleep again when I woke up in the morning I thought it again ended on the same page like yesterday but I was able to recall each and every single details of my dream & I am pretty sure I will Lucid dream tonight will update tomorrow and also I will be making a different post how to shift/tap into void through lucid dream that's all for today luv y'all 🫶🫡

— 9/07/2024 : update so yesterday I did the same routine though I just couldn't sleep on my back because I felt like someone was ripping my scalp out of my skull and I thought I will do that 4-6 hours method for Lucid dream but when alarm woke me up😭💀I was like it's just 4:30 why I am waking up so early?? I forgot what I was doing then fell asleep but anyway each and every step I take I am feeling I am very close to my goal I am very motivated any second you all can get my success story 🤭so hang on lmao will update luv y'all 🤍

— 10/07/2024 : update okay guys I seriously have no idea what happened yesterday's night cause i feel I did have multiple dreams I tired to connect the dot but it doesn't end up anywhere so that's it will update tomorrow 🤍

— 11/07/2024 : i feel like I am having iceberg it's frustrating but okay I didn't follow the routine yesterday cuz I was feeling very low but I will do it again today will update tomorrow 🤍

12/07/2024 : okay okay update I was lucid in my yesterday dream but all of sudden a spider was crawling in my hand💀 an I have Arachnophobia so I just couldn't control the dream and I woke up lmao I will try today not freak out with a spider okay bye will update tomorrow

13/07/2024 : update I just fall asleep normally because I feel I am having burn out so I will took break of three days where I am going for tracking and I will update after that 🤍

14/07/2024 : Break

15/07/2024 : Break

16/07/2024 : Break

17/07/2024 : 😂okay I forgot I was doing void routine but any way will update tomorrow 🤍🫶

18/07/2024 : okay I didn't follow any routine yesterday I did have plenty of works and after doing that I just fell asleep will update tomorrow 🤍

19/07/2024 : okay I didn't did anything different from yesterday I've been busy with the uni addmission process will update tomorrow

20/07/2024 : yesterday I didn't know how but from nowhere I did have alot of symptoms and I was so tired. In my mind I was convienced I am not gonna move but the symptoms were alot I couldn't focus so u gave up will update tomorrow

21/07/2024 : Yesterday I was in sleep paralysis but I heard smthing terrible sound in my earbud it was really terrifying I just can't describe here skskdkshkdsss will update tomorrow 🤍😐

22/07/2024 : I went for bonfire so i didn't did anything after that will update tomorrow

23/07/2024: 😭 seriously I forgot to update

24/07/2024 : Either I am dreaming about spider or someone chasing me with something axe on their hand yesterday I was lucid but I got freak and woke up will update tomorrow

25/07/2024 : 😭 update yesterday I was in hypnagogia state i also had that floating sensation ok ok will update tomorrow skskskssfkss

26/07/2024 : pulled allnight so didn't did anything will update tomorrow

27/07/2024 :

28/07/2024 :

29/07/2024 : hey y'all sorry I haven't updated it two days cause I've been sick it's some kind flu spreading in our area and I don't feel doing the routine so I will update when I get better and yes I will answer your DM thankyou 🤍

- sorry if there are errors I am improving my English

[samsayswhatever]

Rocky Horror Picture Show & Saxloch

Okay, I'm finally ready to post this.

So there I was -- watching The White Lotus season 3, episode 6 with my parents (I'm insane, let's move on.) And I was so afraid for all the brotherly-love scenes. In ep 5, my parents didn't seem to give a fuck that the brothers kissed, although my mom thought it was an obvious twist lol. So I had hoped that the more explicit scenes would just play out without much comment.

HOWEVER, they did NOT just ignore it. Instead, my parents started yelling incest rhymes at the TV!!!

Apparently, they were referencing the audience participation pieces of Rocky Horror Picture Show, which they are big fans of. But I literally cannot overstate how incredibly surreal it is to watch Saxon jerk off Lochlan as my parents laugh and say "incest is best!" in sync. Like I think I took psychic damage.

Anyway, moving on, there were two characters, Magenta and Riff Raff who were siblings in RHPS who were (sort of) supposed to be together and a lot of the audience participation that involved them would reference their alleged incest.

Luckily, when the incest flashbacks were over we just finished watching the show and it was fine. Then we all talked about the themes and symbolism for like 4 hours, because I am my parent's child, as this incident apparently highlights.

Anyway, now that I had been scared for life, I needed to investigate this whole "incest is best," line, because I love rabbit holes and self sabotage.

I found that it was actually quite difficult to hunt down the incest-specific lines, because many of them had been retroactively erased as queerness became more acceptable. Basically, since the non-incest aspects of the show became to be considered "decent" parts that were not considered "decent" were systematically removed by those in control of the various databased where these scripts have been kept. So I had to search over a dozen different sources until I finally started finding a few hints of incest here and there. But once I got to the less "updated" ones, there were all the incest references. Some sources: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8], [9], [10], [11], [12]

Below is a compilation of the most notable incest themed shout-outs in Rocky Horror Picture Show:

There is a bit about the "close family"

And Magenta checking out her brother (which seems to apply to both loch and saxon):

And then the variations on the incest rhymes:

And a small reference to 'taking your brother down', which feels very Lochlan coded:

And finally a weird little bit that implies incest only happens to hot people (maybe?):

Anyway, there was a lot of it, but these are he highlights. I just thought I should share so that all of y'all can get incest shout outs stuck in your head too.

If you remember this post, where I mentioned how RHPS was part of my childhood summers and see how this might make this additionally strange, you've passed the class!

[suzannahnatters]

LOTR re-read, FOTR chapters 9-12: Keeping My 2024 Tolkiennaissance Burning All the Way To TROP S3

CH 9 - AT THE SIGN OF THE PRANCING PONY

love the rhythm of this book: we travel to a new location, learn a detailed history, and then have an adventure before moving on. wish I knew how Tolkien makes this feel like the best tour ever instead of a total yawn the way it does with most secondary world fantasy!!!

with a sense of petty satisfaction, I note that in Bree the races of Big and Little People live together in harmony and Tolkien calls it an "excellent arrangement"

Future King Elessar of Gondor Spotted Sneaking In Over Bree Gate

don't know what is sillier: that Tolkien spent hours reconstructing the lost OG Cat and Fiddle, orrrrrrr that this is the biggest appearance in the literature of Tilion, Chaotic Loverboy of the Moon

calling it now: nothing Merry and/or Pippin does is anywhere near as chaotic and silly as Frodo doing a vanishing act in the taproom of a crowded inn

CH 10 - STRIDER

wow Aragorn could you BE any more suspicious

"they are very terrible" this man obviously has trauma, somewhere out there must be a rich vein of Dunedan torture fic

STOUT AND FAIR, DIDN'T I TELL YOU FRODO WAS A CHONKY BLOND

our boy Strider wishes he could have been trusted on his own recognisances 🥺🥺🥺 he is my baby I would protect him with my life

also, speaking of himself in the third person has never seemed odd to me, tho you don't question much when you're 11 years old. but thinking about it now, I perceive it kind of as an acknowledgement that there's a scoundrelly reputation around this persona that Aragorn feels does not fit him super well. the Strider identity is one of many, as we know, and not one he fully embraces.

"not much use is it Sam" he says of the shards of broken Narsil THEN WHY CARRY IT ABOUT WITH YOU lol

CH 11 - A KNIFE IN THE DARK

at this point Fatty is streets ahead of all the other hobbits in this book in terms of discretion and not playing the fule. Sam is second place.

don't let Bill's insults get you down, Strider, not one but TWO princesses will have fallen in love with you at first sight before your story is over

always loved the moment when they see lights on the horizon as Gandalf is battles the Nazgul on Weathertop. It's a cool moment, fun to remember that Gandalf is having his own adventures not far away, but it also foreshadows the narrative polyphony in the second half of the plot.

"it is said that Elendil stood here" - screaming obvs

the Fall of Gil-Galad stanza is a top ten LOTR poetry moment, I know it by heart and cry every time. but??? for the first time I notice that it uses the Lay of Leithien tetrameter? maybe that's why I respond so strongly - it's so reminiscent of my Favourite Poem Everrrrr.

as the landscape changes, we've moved out of the misty, uncertain history of the old forest and the barrow downs into the recorded epic history of Middle Earth - the kingdom of Arnor, the Second Age and beyond to Luthien and Beren; and I'm just so fascinated by how Tolkien does his exposition and how interesting he makes it.

in addition, Tolkien makes a calculated choice to tell the Tale of Tinuviel right before the attack of the Nazgul; it's quite an unforgettable juxtaposition of light and darkness. before Sauron's most dreadful servants attack we're told the story of the woman who beat him AND his master in the Elder Days; one of the ways that Tolkien keeps the darkness from overwhelming his story is not just to keep emphasising the light, but putting the light FIRST, assuring us that the darkness can be beaten and healed from before we even experience the darkness.

the confrontation on Weathertop is the first moment there's actually been a FIGHT between the Black Riders and our protagonists and it doesn't disappoint, it's super epic as Frodo slips into the spirit world to see the Nazgul as they really are, but on top of that...like, there is SUCH a psychological element to the Nazgul threat, it's their power over mind and spirit that is most dangerous, and I feel this is both Tolkien's faith and his trauma enriching the story.

CH 12 - FLIGHT TO THE FORD

the elfstone on the bridge!!! it's so nice to know that Glorfindel is lookin out for them

but also: this bridge crossing is to my mind so extremely closely related to the bridge crossing in THE SILVER CHAIR where they meet the Lady of the Green Kirtle. the same sense of liminal threat

trolls? Aragorn is the real troll here, he's known all along which trolls these are. ngl it's one of Tolkien's hallmarks that he'll write a person of ineffable significance and dignity and then have them come out with the silliest practical jokes, it's something I really wish they'd put in TROP but do they???? nope

Tolkien is always so dignified but this chapter sees two people whacking a troll on the backside in close succession, amazing

Sam's song is so hilarious but my favourite bit is Tom recognising his uncle's shinbone at a glance

"his bootless foot" is the most gorgeously silly pun it kills me EVERY time ("bootless" archaic meaning = futile or ineffective, in case anyone didn't know)

it is so incredibly important to this book that Glorfindel is someone the Nazgul run away from crying for their mummies - it's absolutely vital to Tolkien's vision that there are people like Glorfindel, Tom, and Faramir who have the power to resist evil and I consider it one of PJ's primary failings as a Tolkien adaptor that he purposefully eliminated nearly every instance of this.

"by Elbereth and by Luthien the fair" not me realising for the first time that he swears by Luthien because she famously faced Sauron and won

okay so I can appreciate the reasoning behind PJ's decision to introduce Arwen, a character of great importance to Aragorn, here in place of Glorfindel; and I don't think that decision by itself broke anything in the story. but what does still rankle is the decision to take Frodo's moment of agency and molten awesome away from him and let him spend the whole scene drooling in Arwen's arms, when Tolkien found a way to orchestrate the scene in such a way as to emphasise the agency both of the elf and of the hobbit.

ANYWAY THIS SCENE IS MOLTEN AWESOME.

thus Book 1. I think that the main thing I have to say about it in terms of its place in the larger story is that I think it's VERY important to the entire rest of the book that the hobbits get a chance to have adventures on their own before becoming a part of the fellowship. because the Fellowship is not going to be around forever. by the end of FOTR Frodo and Sam need to set out on their own, and Merry and Pippin are going to be kidnapped by orcs. book 1 prepares them for that. book 1 gives them the opportunity to make plans, change their plans on the fly, learn exactly how much trouble they're in and how many dangers threaten them in the wild, and start learning who to trust. book 1 lets them experience the consequences of their small size, weakness, inexperience and folly. book 1 also shows them that they are NOT helpless, even on their own; that they can appeal to allies for help; that Providence is looking out for them; that evil CAN be beaten.

I just love it a lot :')

[neonnoir-ao3]

I was idly checking the blog and saw a possible new Sympathy for the Devil update soon?? I really love the story so much, and as a fellow ND person who has very similar struggles it hits hard. I'd be extremely happy to see more, big win for fucked up angel lovers

(FINALLY! I’ve been searching for this draft for AGES! *in the style of that one SpongeBob scene*)

Hey anon! Sorry for the late response, I like to ideally reply to these on desktop. I know this sounds like some platitude, but I really mean it when I say hearing that others both enjoy what I write and relate to the topics (especially those in Sympathy for the Devil) means the world to me! 🥹💙

The plan was to update over winter break, but classes started and so did work (I meant to reveal that in the notes of the future update, but surprise! I have a job now!). I'm also now rewriting the previous chapters to hopefully be more descriptive and even more enjoyable... as well as add some little multimedia goodies within them ;) (like, some of them are just stupid/probably aren’t going to get a lot of feedback, but I had a fun time making them and expanding the universe of SFTD and also make it more immersive via other bits of media)

Basically: The update I mentioned may not be as soon as I had hoped, but updates of some sort are in the works! I've written more in December-January than I have I think for the rest of 2024 combined. (Hell, I even did some updates to Shrine of Your Lies and started working on a second part!) However, my classes are taking up a lot of time this semester (most of the weekdays in February it’s been about 10-12 hours between leaving the house and coming home for the night. Just on Monday I did 9:30am-12:30am the next day) and an emergency medical bill came up, so now I’m working during spring break to pay it off instead of writing like I had hoped. However, I am actively writing, and there’s always summer for me to truly have free time to update!

I'm hoping to update as soon as my schedule (and motivation) allows for me to finish! Thank you so much for sticking around this long (the notes of the eventual update will also touch on why I was radio silent for over a year. Nothing serious, or rather nothing that hasn't since been resolved.)

If you have any interest in random tidbits about the fic: send asks! dm me! or just keep an eye on my posts, because I don’t post all my thoughts on the topic because I worry about annoying people (I have vampire-type autism: I won’t infodump unless I get explicit permission lol), so the minute I know I have an audience for my random Gabriel posts I’ll just start letting loose like:

Again, thank you so much for the ask! It means the world to me. Sorry it took so long, but I hope it was worth the wait! 🫂

[rainbowsandwhumperflies]

The Winged Servant Masterlist

Synopsis: Onyx, a 23 year old angel, has served Her Majesty Queen Lucia for as long as he can remember. It takes an overthrow attempt gone wrong to realize that what she’s been doing to him isn’t the usual treatment for servants.

General tropes in the series: royalty whump, non-human whumpee (wings), multiple caretakers, most of the story will probably be recovery, first person perspective (from whumpee's pov) (this means it'll say "I/me/my" instead of "he/him/his")

I usually update each Sunday, but my life does occasionally get busy so I am not the most reliable about this lol. Whenever I do post, I post a poll within the next half hour or so where you can tell me which chapter you want to see next, so you can watch out for those if you want! ^^

Also I made a pie chart to that everyone knows what to expect from this series!

[image description: a pie chart that is labeled with about 15% plot, 35% whump, and 50% fucked up character dynamics /end id]

Chapters:

(x) Chapter 1: an introduction to the story and Onyx

(x) Chapter 2: Onyx delivers breakfast to the queen

(x) Chapter 3: Onyx tries to clean for the princes. The key word here is "tries"

(x) Chapter 4: Ryan interrupts Onyx when Onyx is supposed to be doing dishes

(x) Chapter 5: Onyx gets corrected on how to be the best servant he can!

(x) Chapter 6: dinner and plot set up

(x) Chapter 7: Onyx is lucky enough to leave the house for once :)

(x) Chapter 8: The twins cause problems, as per usual.

(x) Chapter 9: The twins cause even more problems! as per usual.

(x) Chapter 10: What's this? A person that meets Onyx and doesn't immediately decide he's deserving of every bad thing??

(x) Chapter 10.1: directly follows Chapter 10, but it's from Ryan's pov

(x) Chapter 11: awww medical care :)

(x) Chapter 12: An interrogation! With a lot of lore.

(x) Chapter 13: Breakfast time!!

(x) Chapter 13.1: What Ryan is up to during chapter 13

(x) Chapter 14: Onyx is Really Normal about eating a crepe.

(x) Chapter 15: Onyx takes a nap!

(x) Chapter 16: Onyx meets one of Dubhe's servants

(x) Chapter 17: Onyx and Dubhe have a Conversation

(x) Chapter 18: Onyx gets a hug (not clickbait!!)

(x) Chapter 19: Onyx decides that the royals have never ever been dangerous to anyone

Other writing:

(x) Whumptober 2024: Ember processing grief in a Very Normal way

(x) Whumptober 2024: Onyx sunburn drabbles

(x) Ryan drabble during the overthrow

(x) Onyx's 19th birthday (during his time as a servant)

(x) Whumptober 2023: Onyx has a fever (post-servantry) (theoretically a chapter but very far in the future)

(x) Servant Training: Why isn't Onyx allowed to clean for Ryan?

That one time Onyx got sick during his time as a servant (part 1) (part 2)

Ryan being friends with Dakota arc! this takes place before he met Onyx (part one) (two)

Other:

(x) Official Timeline of the years leading up to chapter one

(x) Onyx official drawing and picrew!

More Onyx doodles: 1 | 2 | 3

(x) Picrews and drawings of the Raos!

Rao doodles: 1 | 2

Dubhe doodles: 1

(x) Onyx fanart by the lovely toyybox :)

(x) Ryan fanart by the lovely ihavetapeworms :)

(x) Ryan fanart by the lovely intotheautumnsky :)

Ryan asks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Onyx asks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Dubhe asks: 1

asks for multiple characters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

anything tagged "ask game" is still something i will still happily accept asks from, no matter how old :)

Please let me know if you notice any broken links :)

[stilljuststardust]

Tools for emotional regulation

This is specifically things I do for end of day decompression. I take an hour and I do different things off this list till I'm relaxed.

I understand that alot of these are "basic" but it's less about what you do and more so about taking time to care for yourself and ne present in your body in ways that feel safe.

I've broken this down in to categories of self soothing.

Environment

A calming environment is beneficial for obvious reasons so here's things I do to feel more safe in mine.

1. Turn off over head lights and uses LEDs, candles, or lamps instead

2. Noise cancelling headphones

3. Phone off

4. Christmas lights for some reason

5. Someplace to sit that isn't your bed (you can put pillows and blankets on the floor if need be)

6. I usually cleanse (witchy, may not be your thing)

7. Protection spells on your room specifically (witchy, may not be your thing)

8. Stuffies

Stimming

If you don't know what stimming is it's stimulating your senses as a form of self soothing. It's ok to move your body in "weird" ways, make odd sounds, or look for sensory experiences you find comforting. Nobody is watching, there's no one around to judge you release the feelings! I usually windmill my arms, rock back and forth, hum/sing, jump, etc. Anything you want.

It's actually really important to set aside time for stimming! You don't realize how important it is until you do it! It's scientifically proven to be harmful (particularly for autistic people) not to stim. It's really hard to unlearn suppressing it, so giving yourself a safe place to do so where you don't have to worry about what people think is important.

Sensory Seeking

Using tastes, textures, sounds, and visuals you like as a tool for self soothing is extremely powerful. This can look like so many things. I personally use perfume. I find certain scents incredibly calming and when I have them on I take deeper breaths because of them so it's a win win.

Other sensory examples:

1. use slime/clay

2. Touch fabrics you enjoy (like ultra soft blankets)

3. Listen to soothing sounds like music, rain, or ASMR

4. Drink a hot drink like tea or hot cocoa

5. Take a warm shower

6. Heating pads

7. Compression (weighted blankets/stuffies work great)

8. Stim boards

Clear mind

Sometimes you just need to get your feelings out. Having an outlet where you just express how you feel without worrying how it's perceived is important!

1. Journal (it's important to write like no one will read it cause they won't, unless someone will lol)

2. Sit outside or by a window

3. Write your doubts on toilet paper then fucking flush that shit to the sewers where it belongs.

4. Draw your feelings

5. Scribble non sensically

6. Scream into the void

Inner child time

It's time to kick internalized shame to the curb. What does your inner child want right now? If you were a kid again what would you do? It isn't wrong to do things you would've loved as a kid. It's important actually. What can you now do that you wish you could've done as a kid?

This one is incredibly individual cause I don't know what your inner child wants I'm just giving out ideas.

1. Play with slime, clay, kinetic sand, or play doh

2. Draw

3. Play with toys (have no shame)

4. Color

5. Legos

6. Read

7. Write a story

8. Make a "potion" (don't mix chemicals though)

9. Play with shaving cream I know you want to

10. Build a fort

11. Fluffy pajamas

12. Dance

13. Preform for stuffed animals

14. Barbie soap opera

15. Rewatch comfort shows

[faintinggoatsyndrome]

Hi! 💗 here’s a tracker of how requesting a wheelchair from my 🇧🇪 goverment is going!! Will try to update lol.

For refrence: for diagnosis FND (non-epileptic seizures) so I can save energy and not have seizures consistently outside the house.

• Situations i use it:

- classes (1 day a week)

- long trips (bigger stores, shopping days, flea markets, conventions, theme parks, etc)

- to move me to a safe place during seizure

• The process so far:

1. Have GP fill in wheelchair perscription

— get rejected because though he agrees I should use one, I shouldn’t have one for free bcs I only use it for a % of time.

2. Ask Neurologist to fill in wheelchair perscripton

— (respectfully) fight w/ her for 30 minutes because I shouldn’t ‘give up’ mobility, and try treatment (in form of therapy; after 4 psych wards and currently consistent visits to psychologist & psychiatrist)

3. get wheelchair perscription from neurologist!!!!!! 🎉

4. Go to bandagist (mobility aid specialist) and go to wheelchair manufacturer to put in order

5. Get reeeeeejected! By the goverment!

— score of document was too low because it was filled in incorrectly

?. Give up for like a year and start using a secondhand wheelchair, notice how much freedom you have.

6. Email neurologist to refill in the document, adding the explanation of how to fill in the scores.

— (scores based on how you are during/post seizure, not just on a random tuesday)

7. Give document to a new bandagist

8. Bandagist asks for revision.

— though it was filled in, not every box was also crossed in lol

9. Ask for revision from Neurologist

10. Bandagist that document was filled in on the 2023 edition instead of 2024

— which!! You can only download the 2023 edition from the ✨official goverment website!!✨ it was never updated!!

11. Push back and ask them to take it up with the friggin goverment BRO

12. Say I’ll hear about making an appointment, but don’t hear anything.

13. Get called one morning asking if they can visit me in my house in an hOuR

14. Have consultation! Find out I need 1 more revision to the document to qualify for a possible power supply in the future.

— Find out I qualify for a ‘basic wheelchair’ that cannot be requested changes on, have to get revision to qualify and buy ‘modular wheelchair’ (means can have changes, but different from active wheelchair) only get 980 in goverment assistance for it (will have to pay 2200 euro extra) and then apply for power supply and hope I’ll get accepted after doctors consultation at a ‘specialized wheelchair team’.

15. Decide to go back to GP because asking Neurologist for a 4th time seems insane for that revision.

16. Get revision from GP! 🎉🎉

17. Find out I can’t just pay extra on top of goverment funding to afterwards request power supply!

18. Bandagist offers to change tactics and go all in; try to request a full active wheelchair (100% paid back; 100% harder to get)

19. Make appointment with ‘specialized wheelchair team’ (doctors I do not know) hoping a visit to them will get me the correct referral for this kind of wheelchair.

That’s where I am now; appointment is next week. I am terrified. We’ll see what happens! 💗

[ohkate]

A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!

------------------

Thank you so much for my asks! Sorry it's so damn long.

#9 What fic made you happiest to work on? Asked by @mybrainismelted and @energievie

My BigBang fic for this coming year. Almost all of my fics are very short little one-shots. That's all I've really felt confident writing yet. Even the few multi-chaptered fics I've written are very short. This fucker is over 90K. I'm proud that I was able to accomplish that.

Since you can't read that yet, I also really loved writing Five Senses and The Diamond in Your Engagement Ring is Fake. I liked the later because it was the first time anyone ever requested I write something for them, which felt so special. None of my fics are necessarily on a favorites list and I don't say that to fish for likes... I just know I need to get better so I keep practicing. To be asked to write something meant a lot to me. And I think I write a good, funny Mickey. I know his voice better than Ian's.

#12: What fic was the easiest to write? Asked by @mybrainismelted

I wrote a Gallavich crack!fic called My Spicy Vanilla using info I fed to an AI generator that I suppose would win since I didn't actually write it. Other than that, I write almost all my fics during my lunch break at work. None of them are too long or involved. I'd say Same or Hardtime as they were both written within a half hour. #2 What's something new that you tried in a fic this year? Asked by @energievie Lol everything is new to me. I would say discipline. I really love @galladrabbles because it forces me to think differently about writing. I'm verbose so to discipline myself to take out all the extraneous words has been a great exercise for me and made me a better writer. I once used the find/search function to find how many times I wrote 'really' and 'very' in a fic and I wanted to shoot myself. I still use 10 words when I can use 3, but I'm getting better and @galladrabbles has helped with that. #19 Share your favorite piece of dialogue. Asked by @abigailspinach From Crush: The marks left behind are like secret constellations mapped across Mickey's skin, stories only they know. They fade with time, but the memory becomes a quiet echo of every time they’ve chosen each other, again and again. It’s a reminder of how much Ian loves him. In a tangible way that leaves traces, marks that say, "Ian was here, and he loves you fiercely." It was their love story, written across his skin. 

#21 What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? Asked by @abigailspinach

Turns out my reader street cred doesn't translate when writing sex scenes. I've been reading explicit fics since 1995. I was on livejournals and bb boards that are older than some of the people reading this. So when I started writing I just assumed the sex would be a breeze for me. My beta for the BigBang pointed out that I said basically the exact same dialogue for two sex scenes and I wanted to die. Real life sex hasn't prepared me for writing sex scenes. I think a part of it is that I hate tacky language and I find a lot of dialogue during these moments to be extremely cheesy. So my vocabulary is purposely limited. But it's soul-crushing that I have such a hard time with this. I thought I'd really win the sex-fic Olympics if I ever did start writing and that definitely isn't going to happen. It's made me focus more on dialogue and making the story fun to read instead.

Okay thanks guys!!

View all questions offered here!

[bleachbleachbleach]

3/2-3/11/2025

I did indeed meet my goal of writing every day and reblogging a post every day (through 3/9--upon which I promptly did not write on 3/10, but that's because I got home at 11pm, showered, and went to bed).

As to how I felt about it--variable, I guess? Monday and Tuesday it mostly just made me really upset because it made it so obvious that I really do not have time for this. I felt very fond of the project even though I cannot claim very much actual progress per se, because Hitsugaya chapters be like that. I felt yearning and then also felt that yearning crushed by reality. And I *guess* some smarmy person (I'm not talking about anyone reading this lol, I'm probably talking about lifestyle Youtubers or anyone who's ever written a Productivity Book) can be like, well, look at those colored blocks! Obviously there IS time, and it will all add up slowly! Um, fuck you, smarmy Pollyanna, it was very stressful making that happen! Too stressful to be sustainable!! And there were costs!!

Wednesday I didn't have a night meeting and ended up deleteriously drunk on power, and instead of writing for a half-hour before bed it suddenly became 1AM on Thursday. Which was very nice, but also not sustainable, not good for life on Thursday, and mostly just ended up filling me with yearning.

And I guess now that we've looped back around to Tuesday, I just got out of my late meeting and am putting off dishes by writing this, and I'm busy being upset again, because I really want to write my fanfic but there are so many Things to do and so many things with deadlines and so many things I am stressfully behind on, and it's probably easier to just not do this and focus on the life things, so that I'm not just bleeding energy on YEARNING.

But the thing I really, really want to do right now is write Ichigo 13; and I feel like if I did not have the panicked breath of 8 zillion things on my neck I could finish it in a day or two--it's short and mostly vibes and I know exactly what it is, as a chapter. So I did work on that a bit today.

I mostly worked on Hitsugaya 12 this past week, though as stated previously you'd never know it by the state of the doc. I got substantially more done on Ichigo in one day than I did the entire rest of the week on Hitsugaya. It's just one of those chapters where there's been a lot written in this chapter that I cannot actually use, and I know all the things that happen in it, but not how Hitsugaya is meant to narrate them.

I also worked on scenes from one of the fics that comes after this one, which is an insane thing to do, because there are parts in the final third of this that I am very unclear about at present, and that seem like they would matter a fair amount to what happens in that fic!! but okay I guess. Write scenes for that! Why not!!