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whoslai · 1 year

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Off The Menu - Lee Heeseung (Chapter 1)

genre: angst, fluff, slow-ish burn, eventual smut!! (you’re responsible for what you consume, read at your own risk)

warnings: none?? reader has anxiety/social anxiety and a few insecurities here and here. major slice of life for you peeps

send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged! thank you to all my new followers, you guys are amazing for supporting me. please interact and give me as much feedback as you’d like (don’t be an ass tho, no need to spread negativity.

not proof read, sorry for any typos in advance.

word count: 3.3k

link to series masterlist or whatever

next chapter

Chapter 1: “Hey, lol.”

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Fall wasn’t your favorite season. From the stress of studying for finals to worrying about flight tickets back home when winter rolled around, you were never the biggest fan of the autumn months. With the combination of your busy schedule and your failure to get a refill on your anxiety medication, you felt immensely overwhelmed. Another thing to note was how lonely it got; Your family was across the country. Going to school in California was a conscious decision of yours, but you didn’t consider how tiresome it’d get not experiencing the warm embrace of a loved one in your times of need. To even take a trip back home would take you nearly 2 days, and that was simply not a risk you were willing to take with how dingy your car was.

Your Friday’s typically consisted of this: Breakfast at the café off campus, lectures from 9 am to 12 pm, lunch at 12:30 pm accompanied with a small break, occasional seminars for an hour or so, then you were done. You’d usually study for a little while, but there were no promises. Being a second year psych student had its pros and cons; Less free time throughout the weekdays but completely free weekends. Though the pros outweigh the cons, you could use a bit more time to yourself throughout the week. As you were far from home, you had to make completely new friends. The vibe in California was completely different. You spent the entirety of your first year in your dorm in online school due to your school’s strict precautions against the pandemic, so you’d be stripped of the chance of branching out. While you weren’t the only one who went through this, it was 10x harder for you to go back to normal; Social anxiety had been something you’d struggled with all your life. The fear you felt when in big crowds, when being assigned to group projects, even merely walking to your class on campus…really…sucked. Tasked with the responsibility of your own finances, health insurance was something you simply couldn’t afford. Therefore, you hadn’t been on your meds for God knows how long. But anyway, you wouldn’t stay on such a depressing topic.

Moving on, you had the weekend to yourself. You’d finished your last lecture around 2 pm and made your way back to your dorm. Fortunately, your roommate hadn’t made it back from her classes, so you had the space all to yourself. You locked the door behind you and took a breath of fresh air.

“Finally.” You sighed to yourself, plopping down onto your bed. Shoes were thrown about and you laid in your bed, indulging in the feeling of relief. But, as expected, it was cut short almost immediately.

Multiple knocks were sounded upon the door. It was nobody but Ningning, your lab partner in Abnormal Psych Stats 2. She was a sweet girl, she truly was. However, she always found a way to be overbearing. But you appreciate her as she was the only reason you ever left your room.

You slowly but surely got up to open the door, greeted by Ningning with a big smile.

“Y/N, were you lying down?” She asked, leaning against the door frame.

“I was, but now I’m up. Come, come.” You told her, moving out of the way so she could come in.

She walked in, closing the door behind her and sat on your bed as you spruced up your desk.

You glanced over at her, noticing that she was biting her lip and she only ever did that when she was holding back from saying something.

“Oh God, what is it?” You groaned, knowing she was about to say something outlandish.

She smiled and sat up, “Okay, don’t be mad but I booked us two tickets at this restaurant over in Malibu. Yes, I know it’s a long drive BUT…it’s worth it. Please tell me you’ll come with me, pleaseeeee…”

You sighed, rubbing your jaw, “I can’t.” Her smile faded, turning into a frown, “I don’t have the funds for that. I just planned on grabbing a meal from the dining hall…I’m trying to save up for a plane ticket.”

She shook her head, “Don’t worry about the costs, I’ll pay, it’ll be my treat. I wasn’t in town on your birthday and I want to make up for my absence. As your best, and ONLY friend, it’s my job to treat you. So, what do you say?”

You sighed to yourself, again. You hadn’t planned on doing anything tonight. You really were looking forward to having some down time to just relax and catch up on some shows. You also weren’t the type to depend on someone to pay for your meal, but one time wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Alright. Fine. When?” You asked her, stacking papers atop of each other.

“Today, tonight, let’s leave before 6 pm since our reservation is at 8:00.” She said, “I figured we could stay the night? If we left by 6 and got there at 7:30 ish, we could check into our reservation and stay at a nearby hotel. It’d be nice to take a break and be on our own for a while.”

You nodded, ‘That sounds nice…but costly? Where’s all this money coming from, Ningning?”

She smiled, “Let’s just say…my job is treating me well. Now, pack a bag, be ready by 5.” She hurried up and kissed your cheek as she made her way out of your room, closing the door behind you.

So, a trip. A mini girls trip for a night. You were excited, actually. It’s been a while since you had a chance to take a break. You’ve never been to Malibu either. This should be fun.

Later on, you finished packing a small bag with a few essentials. You changed into an outfit you thought fit the Malibu vibe: A black halter top with beige flowy pants and matching back sandals. You clipped a mango-ish colored flower into your hair after you slicked it back into a ponytail and grabbed your bag. You touched yourself up a bit before walking out of your dorm and made your way down the hall. You knocked on Ningning’s dorm and waited for her to open it.

Once she did, she met you with a smile and walked out with her bag, locking the door behind her. “You look so cute, Y/N. We’re going to have so much fun, trust me.”

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You two soon made it to the restaurant with not a lot of time to spare as it was 8:00 on the dot. Ningning quickly found a parking spot and you both agreed to find a hotel after you ate.

From the outside looking in, the restaurant was beautiful. It was right beside a beach with a beautiful view of the ocean; Moonshadows Malibu was its name, it truly was something you thought you’d never see in real life. As you two made your way inside, you were hit by the aroma of vanilla and solemn music, only adding to the overall dreamy vibe. A pretty lady at the front greeted you both with a wide smile. She held up two shell necklaces, “Would you ladies like a necklace?” Ningning looked at you before quickly nodding, holding her hands out to grab them. She gave you one as she slipped hers on her head and you followed after her, placing the necklace around your neck.

“We reserved a seat for two?” Ningning remarked towards the lady.

The girl nodded, “What’s the name?”

“Ning Yi Zhuo..” Nigning replied, nodding.

The girl nodded, “Okay, follow me.” She showed you both to the deck of the restaurant, seated outside right above the sand and beside the ocean. You were in awe at how beautiful the sunset was. Ningning thanked the girl as she placed down menus and told you both that your waiter would be over soon.

“It’s so pretty in Malibu…” You sighed, looking at the ocean.

“I grew up right next door to Malibu, actually. I always enjoyed coming here on vacation, such a nice place. Anyway,” She laughed, “What are you getting to drink? I brought my fake just in case…”

You smiled, shaking your head, “I don’t drink, Ningning. You’re always pressuring me to drink.”

She scoffed, “Peer pressure? I’d never!”

You rolled your eyes, “Sure. I’ll probably just get water, I’m trying to be healthier.”

“Aw, okay. I love that for you, but I’m still going to get a Pina Colada.” She sighed, pretending to jut her lip out at you.

You shook your head and looked down at your menu, suddenly feeling your heart dropping. The prices were high! The cheapest thing you saw was $20!

“Jesus, Ningning! These prices are literally so unrealistic.” You told her.

She shrugged, “You pay for the quality, not quantity. They honestly have some of the best food in Malibu, trust me. How about we both share an appetizer and then worry about the entrees later? Sounds good?”

“Okay, well, at least I'll pay for your gas. Deal?” You asked.

“Oh hell yeah, you can definitely pay for my gas.” She nodded to herself.

You closed your menu and took your phone out, capturing some photos of the ocean for later. You wanted to savor the moment. As the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over the beach, the waves lapped gently against the shore. The sky was painted in shades of pink and orange, while the clouds seemed to catch fire with the last rays of daylight. A few seagulls flew overhead, their silhouettes dark against the vibrant sky. The air was filled with the salty scent of the sea and the distant sound of laughter and music. It was a moment of peace and beauty that seemed to suspend time, as if the world had paused to take in the breathtaking scene before it.

Only, your attention was stricken as you heard Ningning whisper something. You looked back at her and her eyes were wide and signaling to the side of you; A waiter. Your heart skipped a beat as he drew closer, his smile dazzling and his eyes sparkling. He was even more handsome up close, with strong, chiseled features and a confident demeanor. You felt a sudden burst of nervous energy, unsure of how to act in the presence of such beauty. His voice was smooth and charming as he greeted you both. You felt an immense struggle to keep your composure. It was clear that he had an effect on you, and you simply couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same way.

“Evening, ladies…” The young man greeted you both, “Can I get you guys started with anything to drink?”

Ningning eagerly nodded, “You most certainly can…Y/N?” Hearing your name snapped you out of your mini trance and you looked at her in confusion. She widened her eyes at you, signaling for you to talk.

“I’ll just get some water for now.” You told him, clearing your throat.

He nodded, “Water it is…” A small smile crept on his face as he glanced back up at you and playfully remarked, “But I’ve got a feeling you might want something a little stronger later on.”

You couldn't help but feel a bit flustered by his comment, but you managed to laugh it off. "We'll see about that," you replied, trying to hide your growing attraction to him. Ningning, on the other hand, was not as subtle.

"Oh, I think we definitely will," she said with a grin, winking at the waiter. You shot her a look, but she just shrugged innocently, “I’d like a Piña Colada, extra coconut.”

The waiter chuckled, clearly enjoying the attention. "I'll keep that in mind," he said before taking your orders and walking away. Ningning leaned in, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"He's cute, isn't he?" she whispered.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't deny that she was right. "Yeah, he is," you admitted, feeling a flush rise to your cheeks.

“He was soooo flirting with you, Y/N.” She laughed, “It’s time you got some action, anyway. 19 and still a virgin? Unheard of.” You shook your head, trying to brush off her comment. But deep down, you couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth to it. You couldn't wait to see what the rest of the night had in store.

As the night progressed, you and Ningning chatted about a multitude of topics. Life, college, boys, parties, homework, etc. You were glad you went out with her, it was just the breath of fresh air you had been needing these past few weeks.

Oh, and of course, you’d stolen some glances at the waiter. When he brought back your drinks, he made sure to place yours down first even though Ningning was obviously positioned in front of your water.

One thing he did that made his interest almost completely obvious was when he leaned down on the table to speak to you when you knew he could hear you just fine as he was merely a few inches away. You wouldn’t say you were flirting back. Although Ningning was urging you to do so, flirting wasn’t something you were familiar with. Why would a guy flirt with you of all people? Especially as your much prettier friend sat across from you. For all you knew, he simply could have wanted a nice tip. You wouldn’t entertain him much, you came to get a break from campus, not to find a fling.

Ningning turned her attention back to you when he walked away to retrieve you both some refills, “He wants you.”

You didn’t respond to her comment, choosing to turn your attention to the last sushi roll instead. You rinsed it down with the last morsel of your water, sighing internally when he came back.

“One filet mignon for Ms. Lily,” He said, placing down your food, “And a scottish Salad for-”

“Lily?” Ningning laughed, confused at the name he referred to you as.

He looked up at her as he placed her food down, “Lily Flower, in your hair,” He glanced up at you, “It’s cute, by the way.”

You awkwardly nodded, “Thanks…”

He smiled and rubbed his hands together, “Well, I’ll be around. Call me if you guys need anything. I hope you enjoy your food.”

“Will do.” Ningning said, “One thing before you go…” He nodded in acknowledgment, licking his lips. “You single?”

The waiter chuckled, clearly amused by Ningning's boldness. "I am, actually," he replied, his eyes flickering over to you for a moment.

Ningning grinned. "Good to know," she said, winking at him. "We'll keep that in mind."

As he walked away, you couldn't help but feel a little jealous of your friend's flirtatiousness. But deep down, you knew that there was something between you and the waiter, something that went beyond just a passing attraction.

As you ate your meal, you found yourself stealing glances at him, meeting your eyes with his own whenever he walked by, feeling a rush of excitement every time he flashed you a smile. Finally, as the meal came to a close, he brought over the bill and once again flashed you a charming grin. "I hope you enjoyed everything," he said, his eyes sparkling. You couldn't help but smile back, feeling a little shy under his gaze.

"It was great, thank you," you replied, trying to sound casual, knowing damn well that you were nearly shitting your pants under his intense gaze.

He nodded, walking away to leave you both to the bill. Ningning shook her head, “If you don’t write your number down on this bill, I’m genuinely never taking you out ever again. This is a threat.”

You couldn't help but laugh at Ningning's threat, feeling a little embarrassed at how obvious your attraction to the waiter had been. But she was right, you knew that you couldn't let this opportunity slip away. As you saw the waiter returning to take the bill, you nervously scribbled down your phone number onto a small napkin, placing it beside the bill. You hoped that he wouldn't notice until you left as you didn’t want to make anything awkward. As he collected the bill, you tried to act casual, but your heart was racing with anticipation. You watched as he glanced down at the paper with your phone number on it, and you couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he interested in you too? Or was this just wishful thinking on your part?

“Thank you ladies, have a nice night.” He said as you both got up. Ningning nudged you to say something but you urged her out of the restaurant, wanting to abort immediately. However, just before you walked out of the door, you looked back at him once more. You saw that he tucked the paper into his pocket without a word, but then he glanced back at you with a small smile, and you felt a surge of hope. Maybe there was something there after all.

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You two made your way into town with the windows down, allowing the breeze to brush through as you listened to the radio. You pointed out a nearby hotel that looked nice, actually. Pool, multiple floors, adequate priced rooms. It wouldn’t hurt to stay for one night in a nice hotel, afterall, you only live once.

Ningning found a parking spot and you helped her carry her bag in as she made her way to the front to pay for the room. She made small talk in the elevator but you truthfully found yourself checking your phone to see if he had texted. It was already late, nearing 1 am. Surely the restaurant wasn’t open this late. Maybe he only smiled at you out of courtesy, afterall, Ningning had left a nice tip.

As you entered the hotel room, you couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that you hadn't heard from the waiter. Maybe it was a mistake to put yourself out there like that, to give him your number so readily. Maybe he wasn't interested after all.

Ningning caught the look on your face and immediately knew what was going on. "Hey, don't worry about it," she said, giving you a comforting pat on the back. "Maybe he's just busy or something. You'll hear from him soon enough."

You nodded, trying to shake off your disappointment. "Yeah, you're right," you said, forcing a smile. "Let's just enjoy the night." Ningning nodded in agreement, and the two of you settled in for the night, enjoying the comfortable beds and the peace and quiet of the hotel room.

But as you lay in bed, your mind kept wandering back to the waiter. Amidst all of the doubt you held within your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, where he was, and if he was thinking about you too. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but you couldn't help but feel like there was something there, something that was worth pursuing.

As you placed your phone down on the nightstand beside you, it vibrated. Your heart dropped, surely…a family member wasn’t texting you at 3 in the morning, right? You took a deep breath, glancing to your side to see Ningning asleep. You reached for your phone, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as you saw the notification; An unsaved number. Your heart leapt in your chest as you opened the message, feeling a rush of relief and joy when you saw the text.

+1 424-936-2945: “Hey, lol.”

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authors note: i hope you guys liked this first part of my ongoing series. i was kinda writing outta my ass. i got this out sooner than i thought i would so, yeah! anyway, let me know how you guys liked it and feel free to send in any thoughts you have. i hope to write this series in you guyses vision, not my own. reblog, likes, and comments are all appreciated haha. lmk if u wanna be tagged in the next chapter.

@voidbeomgyu

#enhypen smut #enhypen #enhypen ff #lee heeseung smut #heeseung smut #heeseung fluff #heeseung angst #heeseung ff #enha #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagine

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tuliprry · 2 years

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asthore (h.s)

summary: "yn and harry have been married for 3 years now, still a secret to the public. this is a comfort story, going back and forth of how they met and their married life and a lot of sweet drama in between. very full of love, fluffy, safe. "

asthore main post

word count: 3.3k

warnings: death, anxiety, depression, christimas time, sex mention, fluff

sunday, 17 of december 2022, 3:36pm

the cold breeze from christmas approaching in the small italian village almost freeze y/n’s bones as she’s cruising through the christmas markets, the ligurian sea facing her as she hands a 5€ bill to the italian man that just finished filling a jar with taggiasca olives, “grazie! buone feste!” y/n says as she puts the jar back in the jean tote bag and covering her right hand with the black comfy glove once again. the humidity has driven y/n to have her hair constantly covered by a beanie or her curls would be so tangled she would spend an eternity in hair masks trying to salvage it. the phone pings.

soupy

“just passed passport control, 30 minutes and i’m home. i love you x H”

y/n smiles, feeling her cheeks blush up from thinking about seeing her husband after nearly two months since halloween in los angeles, the butterflies from being apart fly more in her stomach as she rushes to their italian home, this was the first christmas both their families would spend in the home they have been building in the small coastal village of sanremo, y/n had done her masters in the university of verona and absolutely fell in love with the country. and here she is, buying olives for christmas eve dinner, the first ever she’s hosting herself.

the white gate opens up as y/n presses the button attached to her keys, she sighs at the car standing in the driveway as harry told her to try and get used to it and he would teach them how to drive but y/n has a unreasonable fear of cars, even when she had to drive the bumper cars, she would cry and her dads would end up picking her out of the car. she walks down the darkened stone (by the raindrops) path, the automatic light shines, lightening up the whole entrance area, y/n opens the green heavy front door and is greeted by patata and notte, their two cats, “ahh my two girls!! daddy is about to be home so mama is gonna heat up the soy lasagna and light some candles!” y/n is used to only talking to the two kittens she had rescued with harry, she takes her gloves and beanie and her long brown coat, hanging them by the door as she closes it behind her.

soupy

“it’s raining really bad, i’m at the petrol station right by the theatre, 10 minutes i’m all yours, sweet bunny. god i miss you x”

bunny

“i already threw your jammies in the dryer so they’re warm when you get here, turned the ac on and i’m watching british news, just for you”

soupy

“you’re an angel!!!!! my angel wife”

y/n wrapped herself in a black silk robe that matches her pyjama set and sat on the sofa, heart heavy awaiting for harry to open the front door and them reuniting, her stomach was seriously going through it, she could barely work in the morning and had cereal for lunch as she felt too eager to even think about eating. the news were mentioning winter wonderland in london and how crowded they were after the pandemic, y/n missed london a little bit, being her home for most of the year and 2022 being the first time she’s not having a hot cocoa by the london eye just staring at the tourists. her stomach growls again, her anxiety is leading up to not knowing if she should even eat or stay pretty by the door so she can immediately kiss harry.

she opted to fill up the kettle with water so they could have a tea and harry could warm up, as the water boiled the sound of a car motor makes its way into the house, meaning harry was home, in unicorn slippers y/n gets out of the house in a rush. harry is parking his car next to his other one and y/n is regretting being outside in slippers but she couldn’t wait one more second.

and there he was…

he stood tall leaving the car, wearing light blue jeans and black vans, his upper body was covered by y/n’s favourite coat of harry’s, the multitude of greens and how long it looked y/n genuinely wanted the coat for herself, his hair clipped back with his regular black clip and his smile, y/n felt her entire body relaxing as she sloppily ran to his arms under the humidity of sunset. “fuck, fuck, you’re real” his arms wrap around the short figure in front of him, “fuck, my y/n” he sighs in relief and keeps the embrace just as tight. y/n places her chin on his upper chest and looks at him, his face structure coral-ish like the sun just about to set. “i missed you” their lips meet, a kiss they had been longing for almost two months, yet as their lips collide it’s like no time as passed, they went to sleep and woke up together, just like their meant to be. “harry i love you but i came outside in my jammies and i’m freezing” y/n shivers as she speaks up, he can’t help but keep a stupid smile on his face, this was his most normal, his wife saying she was cold begging them to go inside, his brain filled with deja-vu, “goooo inside, dummy” he says, opening the boot of the car, taking his suitcase out of it, y/n had already grabbed his backpack and made her way into the house, making harry stand a few meters from the door, feeling nothing but relief, to be home.

☆

monday, 18 of december 2023, 4:13am

harry woke up almost jumping from the sofa, looked at his phone, 4:13am, y/n was passed out in the sofa as well, their cats asleep between them and the electric fireplace still on as well as the bbc 1 still playing out the news from throughout the day.

a big yawn escaped his lips as he slowly got off under the covers to grab a chocolate brioche from the kitchen, he knew y/n like the back of his hand, keeping the chocolate brioches at hand for a lat night craving of something sweet. harry for the first time in a few months felt genuinely at peace, not that he doesn’t love tour, he does, he can’t stop touring and seeing the familiar and unknown faces he hold in his heart with so much love but just sometimes he misses home, home isn’t exactly a place for him, because harry has a lot more houses than he could explain, but he only has one y/n, a short irish and scottish teddy bear in a human form that writes her fingers off and spends too much time in front of her computer and totally belongs to the generation he longs to understand. he walked back into the living room, y/n’s now sleepy eyes open, petting the cats, “harry! we fell asleep on the sofa…can we go to bed?” his heart skipped a beat right there, her curls messy from the sofa pillow, eyes droopy, cheesy smile on her lips from having him home. home. she was home.

the sleepy couple headed off to bedroom with their two cats following them, y/n and harry have always allowed their kitties to sleep in bed, even though sometimes the cats do bite harry off the bed, “how are patata and notte doing at night?” harry asks as he slides under the covers with small roses that y/n picked and he loves so much, “well patata sleeps on top of my feet and notte well… she likes to stay under the covers” y/n admits not changing notte’s behaviours, “y/n! she’s gonna bite me off the bed! again!” y/n gets under the covers as well and kisses his lips softly, “god i missed having you home”, y/n places her self on top of him, “oh bunny.. you almost make me forget the jet lag” harry kisses y/n, this time more abruptly, almost raw. “fuck! i missed you”

10:46am

the regular sunny beach town’s sky was covered in dark, heavy clouds, ready to burst at any given second, harry was aware of this, he was in the middle of his run and upset that the rain was going to interrupt his so beloved routine, he was running along the giardini municipali, his favourite place to run while they’re in their sanremo home, he checks his watch when a raindrop falls exactly on top of it, harry groans, he has left 20 minutes ago and his run was being cut short by an angry christmas weather rain that the old lady that lives next door has told him… or what he understood from his beginners italian. running back home in hopes to not get soaked was truly in vain. when he opened the green front door he was soaked through his entire clothes, he thought of y/n, likely still wrapped in the duvet, he almost envied her for a second but he knows y/n’s medication makes her crave her bed a little longer than he does. after a much needed shower harry walks quietly into the bedroom, curtains still closed, loud purring coming from the bed, a little night light on y/n’s side, still on, his hands gently rubbed through y/n’s cheek, a way he learned to wake her up without startling her, “mmmm too early” she moaned, still with her eyes shut close, “baby.. c’mon sweetheart, i made coffee and pancakes, i didn’t know if you wanted eggs” he says almost whispering, lowering his body, squatting down next to the bed, “oh the banana pancakes? with pecan nuts?” y/n opens her eyes, looking directly in his, “exactly those ones”, harry smiles doing the gentle rub on her cheek again, “okay i’m listening” y/n yawns, turning on her side to look directly at harry, “well..after breakfast we could start decorating the house maybe even finish our christmas shopping?” his hand now travelled to her hair, gently running his fingers through it. “mmmmm give me a kiss?” she asks, getting closer to the edge of the bed, “always, as many kisses as you want, bunny.”.

the kitchen smelled exactly as y/n had hoped, of harry, banana, coffee and fresh bread, their kitchen was a little sanctuary for the both of them, the floor was almost like honeycomb, brown, yellow and dark red, usually very cold, the walls white, the cabinets a sage green y/n and harry fell in love with, a white oven that seemed too complicated at first and all of the kitchen adorned with gold details, the handles, the pots… the countertops were wood like, matching the kitchen table with mismatched chairs, the other side of the kitchen still with the sage cabinets, a window right on top of the big white sink and golden faucet, decorated with tulips, y/n’s favourite flower. the cat’s food bowls filled, the eggs sizzling in the frying pan, y/n begged her brain to take a screenshot of this moment and remember it forever. her happiest place, her and her husband.

y/n sat on one of the mismatched chairs as harry placed the food in front of her, “vip treatment huh?” y/n mocks due to him being the one used to vip treatment, “for my wife? anything.. also i got super soaked in my run earlier” harry comments as he takes the eggs out of the pan to another plate, “you did? why didn’t u call me i would’ve.. well i would’ve cheered u up” y/n speaks with her mouthful with a pancake bite, harry thought it was cute, how her mind was always racing, y/n hates it, harry in the other hand thinks it makes her special, her brain never shuts off, more time he gets to spend with her in her little world. “well baby i knew you were asleep and this jet lag is so weird, woke up, fell asleep, woke up and then couldn’t sleep so i went and fed the cats and then i came back still couldn’t sleep so i went on my run without checking the weather app and well yeah but i’m okay” y/n felt hypnotised, yes she knows she’s married to him but just sometimes when he goes on his rambles, y/n likes to stare at him, his lips, his lips now covered with honey from the pancakes, she doesn’t know what power over her has given her the chance to be here, staring at her husband eating her favourite breakfast. “if you feel like you get a cough i have those cough drops from when i had covid, they were pretty good” her lips press together in worry, “baby i came home, took a shower and woke you up, i’m okay. i promise”

promises were something big in their relationship, from harry’s perspective he needed someone he could trust blindly and from y/n’s perspective she has always been an open heart ready to trust anyone, so they met half way, keeping promises. promises that they wouldn’t hide stuff from each other, promises that they’d always be honest about their health, promises to stay in contact even if the signal is one bar in the middle of nowhere. right here, right now, their home is a promise from harry’s vows:

“i promise, even when i’m far to always come back home to you, my love, i promise to make our home the most beautiful place that ever existed, just for you and me.”

the rain hit the kitchen windows pretty strongly, soothing the couple that was still eating breakfast, “i don’t think going out is a very smart idea, soupy, look at the weather!” y/n says, calling harry by his nickname when they started dating, soupy, he had soup every day on facetime and y/n just came up with it, soupy and now even her family calls him soupy, “don’t call me soupy! and we are still doing stuff because decorating the house for christmas doesn’t require leaving” harry affirms, holding his plate and mug placing them on the sink, “the christmas decorations are in your studio harry and i’m not going to the other house” y/n pouts, “i love rain when i’m inside! not when i’m outside and need to do stuff!” she complains. a few meters away there’s a small house that harry converted into his studio while he was stuck in italy with y/n because of the pandemic, y/n stored the christmas things there and never touched them again, in all fairness it was a beautiful sunny january day and she was in a good mood. “fine, i’ll get them, you’re lucky i’d do anything for you”, “oh!!! can’t wait to tell my friends my husband would walk in the rain for me, what a man!” she mocks giggling against the mug, “mrs y/n styles you’re very sassy today!” he says in the same mocking tone, “it’s what happens when you fuck me to sleep, i wake up feeling like a spoiled princess” she keeps laughing, waiting to catch her breathe to finish her coffee. harry gets close and kisses her forehead and sighs in relief, “i love seeing you like this” y/n knew what harry meant, her depression and major anxiety really sprout up in the first few months of their marriage, making the first year even rockier than what they had anticipated, y/n is still medicated, for awhile harry felt like he had lost his y/n, until everything started piecing together like a puzzle, her smile, her jokes, her collection of books, her arguments in irish with one of her dads, it’s like his y/n had never left, she just needed a little boost that harry alone couldn’t give.

“wonders of antidepressants and a good loving night with my husband, you should know i’m always better with you around” she whispered against his lips, “i love you, bunny”, “and “i love you, soupy”.

☆

to better understand this story, we have to go back to almost 40 years ago years ago, when y/n’s parents, cormac and callum first met, they were both 15, had the same classes, did everything together in their hometown of sterling, a true high school love story that lasted their entire lives, they considered themselves lucky, falling in love at a time it was no longer illegal to love each other in scotland, their love only grew with time, moving in together, dreaming of getting married, dreaming of having children.. which eventually happened when they were 25, elsie and ewan, their families thought they were insane, adopting twins at 25 and all the repercussions of only one of them actually being able to be “legally” their father, but they still did it, elsie and ewan were 1 year old when they were officially adopted by callum but they always taught them cormac was their father regardless of what any paper said.

the year 1998 came along, cormac’s younger sister orla was pregnant, cormac was so excited that his children would have a cousin and nothing prepared him for the next months of his life, the day that should be of joy was clouded by sadness as his sister died while giving birth, making y/n immediately orphan with half a second of life in her body so cormac stepped up, christmas being the first holiday they all spent together, the 5 of them. just them.

when same-sex marriage became legal in scotland they did get married. even though, in their hearts they had been married since they were 15.

but before that, as the siblings grew, y/n had friends that didn’t have the best family environment, and cormac and callum had no luck trying to adopt them because their parents wouldn’t allow it, so as adults it did happen, simon and flora became the 6th and 7th member of the family. harry knew this story, y/n had told him this story a million times but he’s hearing it again as they get the christmas tree ready, he looks at her with an amount of love in his eyes that he’s not able to express if not by poetry in his hidden notebooks, “and well the rest you know, elsie is a teacher at the same school as my dad mac, ewan plays football in torino, simon is a tattoo artist in manchester and you know flora better than anyone” y/n explains once again as she places the handmade ornaments she got from and italian charity shop, “flora.. the baker that purposely calls me soups” harry goans as he makes sure the christmas lights are all working before placing them on the tree, “i didn’t know she was gonna give you hell for my nickname for you, harry, she’s the baby, i don’t like getting angry at her… are those lights ready?”

“they’re ready”

“then help me put them on, soupy”

“kiss me first, under the mistletoe”

“you’re so sappy!”

“thank god i found you then, to love all this sappiness”

“and i do. every single inch of you, tha gaol agam ort (i love you)”

“and i love you”

taglist: @grapejuice-rry @theekyliepage @madgracee @iamahallucinationnn (anyone else please tell me if u wanna be tagged in the next chapters!)

#harry styles imagine #harry fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles au #harry styles blurb #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles x you #harry styles blog #harry styles writing #tuliprry

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dailyniallnews · 1 year

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Interview with Niall Horan, ex frontman of One Direction

If the global success with One Direction is now far behind, the fortune that Niall Horan is enjoying as a solo artists is very current. His third album was just released. Emblematic title: The Show, and the show could not get better than this. Article by Leonardo Clausi

Precisely because this is the new age of anxiety (from the title of the poem by W. H. Auden The Age of Anxiety, 1947, and from Symphony n. 2 by Leonard Bernstein inspired by it, 1949), Public Health around the world should prescribe listening to Niall Horan. As anti-anxiety medicine, tonic for the psyche, emotionally restorative medicine. Really, who else in the modern soft rock world is as capable of tuning in for ten tracks on an equally balmy wavelength, without ever straying into drama or comedy, as Horan does on The Show, third album since he went solo after the dissolution of One Direction, the (boy)band who competed with the Beatles in music sales? Not even the much more wanted colleague Harry Styles, with his unapologetic Bowie-ism that annoyed Tony Visconti so much.

30-year-old Horan doesn't have the same ambitions. We could easily ask him to go and pick out our daughter from school because he is so.. fragrant? Since 2016 - without stopping except from when forced by the pandemic - he's been writing music and bringing it on tour. A constant motion of three albums, the feverish craftsmanship of a diligent entertainer devoted to the career that he was raised in thanks to the shortcut, sometimes a brutal one, with which talent shows have short-circuited the discography and industry of A&R (Artists and Repertoire). We intercept him as he drives, always busy as a bee. "I just came back from America yesterday. Today I am in Liverpool. It's constant travelling, I spend most of my time jetlagged". He is understandably satisfied with his latest discographic effort, which will become the center of the homonymous The Show Live on Tour, with the Italian stop on 21st March 2024 at the Mediolanum Forum in Milan: "I spent a lot of time writing and producing it during the pandemic and the year after. I’m happy, the response has been very, very interesting around the world". Not surprising, considering the melodic quality of the tracks, touched by the Californian light of the Laurel Canyon, with vocal harmonies reminiscent of the Beach Boys, and references to the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. "I trusted that I could write a song. I knew I had the ability to do it. I just needed to trust that I could get a guitar, or sit at a piano, and something good would come out of it. It's out, but you never know. I need to keep my head down, work hard and see".

The 70s were his first introduction to music through records (or vinyls, as hipsters say), which were floating around the house; the real love however started "when I realised how lucky I was to have grown up with music that stayed with me to this day. My parents had a large album collection. I still listen to a lot of them now. When I’m in the studio I often use analogue mixing desks, it’s an important part of the sound I’m looking for". Speaking of the search for the 'organic' sound that digital audio is not able to embody all the way, what does he think of artificial intelligence, now that creators in the entertainment industry are taking the streets as well to protest against forcibly becoming obsolete? "Artificial intelligence can really do a lot, but it can’t give you that feeling that I call the human touch. It couldn’t write 'Hey Jude' or any other masterpiece. Humans will always have the upper hand".

Horan's Irishness is a prominent element of his personality, that proud affability that made his country a cultural superpower despite its size. And that was worth the warm reception of none other than the POTUS, who is also a descendent of the Celtic diaspora. "For how small the nation is, the relevance we have worldwide is amazing. Only five million inhabitants, and yet our culture of drinking, night life, musical or literary traditions are known everywhere. It's something I always keep in mind and want to show off as much as possible. And yes, I was invited at Washington to meet Joe Biden". Understandably, the fact excites him: "It was crazy that someone from a small town like mine (Mullingar, northwest of Ireland, ed.) ended up playing for the President of the United States at the White House. I still can't believe it". Not to mention the fact that, from a particularly bigot and conservative society that it once was, Ireland is now one of the most advanced and liberal ones of the West. "I'm not sure how it happened, but I am very proud of it. It was great to see it become one of the first countries to have gay marriage, for example. And I’m proud that it’s acting as a catalyst for change in other countries".

And does he know U2, this compatriot up and coming group? Would he collaborate with them? "Some of my all time favourite songs are by U2, their shows are some of the best I’ve ever been to. It would be great to do something with them if they ever ask". Coming from one of the best selling bands meant that there was a challenging precedent to compete with. But Niall Horan is doing great. It's impossible to refrain from asking about a 1D reunion. "It’s a busy time for everyone, so no, not that I know of. We keep in touch but everyone’s doing their own thing. Louis is touring in America, Liam is working on his music, Harry’s busy on the biggest world tour... In fact, if you hear about a reunion, please let me know".

#niall horan #article #icon magazine #19sep23

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mapileonxputellas · 2 years

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Friends Who Became Family (Barca x Reader)

In support of Sara Bjork, my take on the other side of this. Loved writing this. This is quite different from the other ones I write. I started writing this with a specific player in mind as the partner but you can choose whoever you want or read it like this! Wrote in the style of a tribune. TW: IVF, pregnancy loss, pregnancy, depression 3.3k words

Playing football.

Having a baby.

Two things many women dream about all over the world and it is widely accepted if they don’t want to do one or either of those things.

But what if you want to do both? What if you reach the top of your game in football and decide that you want to have a baby? What then? Why should we have to sacrifice one to have the other?

But for that to happen people need to stand up and fight for our rights. People like my wife.

We’ve been together for seven years now. We met doing the one thing we both love: playing football. It’s cringy to say but it definitely was love at first sight, at least for me. I caught the eye of an opposition in an international friendly and the rest is history. A DM later than week, followed by months of messaging, millions of miles between us got us to this point.

Just over a year after we decided to make the move together, to join Wolfsburg. Neither of us could speak any German, we didn’t know anyone but with two suitcases and each other we made the move.

After four years together, three living together, it felt like we were ready for the next step. We both wanted to be mothers but we were both aware it wasn’t as simple as that. So we started looking for a donor and IVF. She was going to carry the baby and take a break from football. A decision made by the both of us.

At that point it was almost a near formality for both of us that we would sign a contract renewal but when two of the biggest clubs in the world come calling for you it is hard to refuse.

That meant moving to Barcelona, a new country. All in the middle of a pandemic. All whilst trying to start our family.

We knew this wasn’t going to be simple so when the opportunity came to start the transfers we couldn’t say no.

Our first transfer failed.

I’ve dreamt of this life since I was a young girl but those few months felt like a nightmare. I played football three times a week but had no energy to get out of bed. I celebrated every goal scored but I cried myself to sleep every night. I met the fans after every game but couldn’t truly be thankful for anything anymore.

Looking back I should have spoken to someone about this but I used football as my escape. My head was free. For those 90 minutes I could focus my anger and disappointment on something else.

Football was my rock.

….

Three failed transfers later we were losing hope. The small string of hope we were both clinging to was fraying and wouldn’t hold on for much longer. We’d got used to the faint two pink lines on the test, almost waiting for them to fade slowly over the days.

Then they didn’t. They stuck. For weeks we were almost in denial, always wondering when it would all come crashing down around us.

We kept it a secret as you will have guessed, both of us playing until my partner had to stop.

My wife has well documented her journey into motherhood, challenging the rights of mothers to FIFA and ensuring they are cared for throughout their pregnancy and motherhood.

Just under a year ago we welcomed our daughter into the world. It’s true when they say in that one moment everything changes. Football, has and always will be my biggest passion, but suddenly I had this whole other meaning to life.

But this isn’t so much about my journey through motherhood. I’m not sure if it’s visible but whenever she and my wife are in the crowd I can play with such freedom, knowing my three greatest loves are in one place.

This is a letter to my family.

…..

My wife….

You’re the most loving, caring, fearless, amazing woman I’ve ever met and I’m so lucky to have had the pleasure of being your partner in life.

Most people would describe us as quite cautious, well thought out players. That couldn’t have been more different to the day I made you my wife.

December 31st 2019

You were both so excited at the prospect of starting to try for a baby, spending the Christmas season in your native country and celebrating with both of your families present.

“I love you.” Your girlfriend whispered in your ear as you led in bed on the final morning of the year. “So much.”

“I love you too.”

“Enough to marry me?”

“What?”

“If I find a registrar will you marry me? Tonight?”

“That’s crazy, we can’t do that.”

“Why not? I love you, you love me. Who cares how many people are there? Who cares if we don’t have some fancy reception and a massive cake? All I need is you and I, our family, some friends and a takeaway for tea.”

“What will we wear?”

“We’ll go shopping, we’ve got time. Think about it, tonight we can watch the fireworks go off as wives. So will you do it? Will you marry me?”

“Go on then.”

That night you got married, underneath the stars in your childhood home. Everything absolutely perfect.

I’ve always admired you on the pitch, you exude confidence in everything you do. You’re a heartless defender but I’ve seen the heart of gold you’ve got inside of you.

On the pitch you’re determined in everything you do. There was a point in trying where I wasn’t sure if we could continue trying without breaking our own hearts in the process. But you showed your determination and love for our daughter with every injection, every setback and throughout your pregnancy.

I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you sacrificed for us and I hope you know that every time I go onto that pitch I do it for you.

The biggest compliment I can give you is that before I always wondered what I would do when I could no longer play football. How would I fill that void that has been there my whole life? But it couldn’t be easier when I know I’ve got a lifetime with you by my side.

My most precious memory is lifting the Champions League trophy with you and only you know the reason why.

May 2021

The atmosphere in Gothenburg was a strange one. The eerie quietness of the small crowd a stark contrast to the elation among you and your teammates.

The trophy was slowly being passed around, you as always happy to let the other have the limelight before you do.

“Y/N get over here.” Caro shouted. “It’s your turn.”

“Stop hiding at the back.” Mapi added.

“Alright, alright.”

“Let the love birds have a photo.” Alexia chimed in but stopped to pull the both of you in for a hug. “ No-one deserves it more than you two. Now go and do the cringy couples’ photos.”

“Very funny.” They rightfully teased you though, the two of you getting your photos with the trophy.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you smile this wide in months.” She whispered, a reference to your third failed transfer just three months before.

“It’s been hard. Really hard.” You didn’t want to ruin this moment with the tears gathering in your eyes. “But we’re here and I’ve got you. You’ve got me.”

“Maybe we’ve got a good luck charm today.”

“Up there?”

“Down here.” It took you a moment to work out what she was talking about, her hand gently placing your own on her stomach hidden behind the trophy which you fumbled in your hands. “Mapi, take the trophy.”

The trophy went away and you could finally wrap your arms around her. Slightly picking her up off the ground to move over to the side. “Are you serious?”

“I had it done 4 weeks ago, the lines are still there. 6 weeks gone.”

“I-“ You thought you were ready for this moment, you’d been waiting for it for so long but hearing those words filled you with so many emotions. You never wanted this moment to end though as you both just stayed in each other’s arms, chaos ensuing all around you but it felt like you were the only two people in the world. “Thank you.”

“No thank you.”

But I’ve never been as proud of you these past two years. We can appreciate that though it should be normal, we are lucky that we were supported by Barcelona. That didn’t stop you going further, taking it higher up and making sure players across the world are secure financially, emotionally and physically. You’ve changed the sport forever.

I’ve wrote this for you but I hope I show you every day how much you mean to me. I could fill pages and pages just talking about you.

I love you always X

….

To my daughter….

I’d use this letter to tell you how much I love you but I hope you know that already.

I have no idea when you’ll read this letter, three years from now, ten years from now or twenty years from now but I’d like to say some things that will never change.

After saying all that I hope you know how much we love you. I hope you know that every day I look up to the stars and think about how lucky I am that I have you.

I hope you know that I’ll support you in whatever you want to do in life, whether that’s being a footballer or being a hairdresser. Though I do hope you won’t get bored of being in a football stadium.

April 2022

This felt like the biggest moment of your life so far. A Champions League semi-final leg in Camp Nou against your old club Wolfsburg but it wasn’t just the 90,000 plus fans that were in attendance. Somewhere in a box in the high heavens was a month-old little girl who just happened to share your name.

You’d debated whether to bring her but you simply couldn’t resist the opportunity. She would probably sleep the whole match but just to know she was here was enough.

The 5-1 win topped it all off, the celebrations jubilant as you all interacted with the fans, this was everything you’d worked for and more.

“Y/N! Y/N!” You could hear the fans chanting your name, merely supposing they wanted you to celebrate with them you carried on jumping but two arms wrapped around your shoulders.

“Someone’s come to see you.” Alexia whispered, your head immediately turning to find your wife and a little bundle in her arms. Ear defenders visible over her fluffy baby suit. “Go and enjoy this moment together.”

You didn’t hesitate, jogging over to your biggest loves, pulling one into your arms to your chest and pressing a kiss to the other’s lips. You couldn’t help but admire the tiny Barcelona shirt with your name on the back as she stayed asleep. “How did she like it?”

“It think she’s a fan already, she woke up for a feed and then stayed awake. I think it was the lights but we’ll say it was the football.”

“She’s a culer already.” Irene greeted you both before gently stroking the baby’s head. “Once again, she is gorgeous.”

“Must be the genetics.”

“Go and take her to celebrate.” Your wife insisted.

“You come too.” She haggled and came over but stayed towards the back with some injured players as you took her closer to where the team were. She must have felt the movement as eyes suddenly peered up at you but to your surprise the crying was kept at bay. “Hello, have you come to see mama play?” She simply gurgled back at you before settling against your chest. “You’ve got to get used to this baby.”

“Look who we have here?” Patri came over, carefully kissing the top of her head. “Feel amazing?”

“Feels incredible, the first of many.”

I hope you know that I do everything for you. I do everything so I can come home to your smiley face and watch you grow up.

I hope you know I’m always here for you always. In tough times and good times I’m by your side as your mama and your best friend in one.

I hope you strive for your own happiness and never settle for anything less. I hope you’re as caring and fearless as your mama is. I hope I make you proud.

I hope you know you’re perfect in every way. Never stop being you.

Love mama x

….

To my teammates….

Strangers who became friends who became family.

I’ve been in many teams before, I’ve played with lots of people but they’ve always stayed as friends. You’ve become my family.

We moved to Barcelona not knowing anyone and you took us in, taught us the language and supported us in every way possible.

I know you saw the dark moments. I know I tried to hide away and I’m so thankful you didn’t let me. I wish I could single all of you out and tell you how great you are but I’m sure I’ve told you all how much I appreciate you so I’ll single some of you out.

Jana, my little Jana. This last year has shown me what an absolute talent you are, not because of your talent on the field but for your perseverance off it. Us defenders stick together and it’s fair to say you’re like a little sister to me. I hope you know how much I appreciate every joke you tell, every smile you give because without knowing it you lifted my mood on some very tough days.

Patri. I think it was four months into knowing me that you found me that night. I’ll never be able to put into words how thankful I was for you but I hope you know that I am. You’re a superstar in every way.

December 2020

You’d officially hit rock bottom. It felt like you couldn’t do anything right. You strive for perfection and tonight you were definitely not that.

The sky was pitch black, the flood lights the only light illuminating you. The stands were empty, the only noise coming from your boots hitting the ball. Over and over.

The silly thing was you’d won the match, a last gasp winner sealing the 3 points but the initial equaliser was your fault in your head. You’d let her get the better of you 1v1 and allowed her to put the cross in for a tap in. All you.

So that’s why you were here, repeating that drill over and over again. Punishing yourself with every minute that ticked by.

“Need some company.” You didn’t need to look to know it was Patri, simply ignoring her and carrying on. “You can ignore me all you want, I’m not leaving without you.”

“Go home.”

“You know I can’t do that, but I’ll be over there when you’re ready.”

Twenty minutes had passed and you could see she was still there and even though she was wrapped up in a coat you couldn’t let her freeze any longer. Saying that you still only sat down next to her, neither of you speaking just watching the stars. “We’re trying for a baby.” You whispered, not getting any response from her. “The second one failed this morning.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” There was nothing more to say as you felt her head to come to rest on your shoulder.

“I’m always here you know, morning and night. If you need someone to speak to.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you speaking to anyone about this? You can’t just stay out here all night punishing yourself for a mistake we can all make.”

“I just feel like I keep letting everyone down.”

“You’re not. Look at me.” Gently grabbing your face her eyes met your own. “We all made mistakes out there tonight, I let the ball run through to your player then Mapi didn’t react in the middle. It happens, there’s no use punishing yourself now. Speak to someone, someone who can help. Anyone, a professional, one of us, your family. Someone you can rant and cry to until you can’t anymore.”

“I’ll try.”

I never told you this but I kept that promise that night, all because of you.

Irene, thank you for the late-night phone calls. You understand me like no-one else, Like you have a sixth sense of when I’m stuck in my own mind. You’ve been my biggest teacher on and off the field and you’ve helped me be the person I am today.

Mapi, my best friend. I remember our first meeting, I can now firmly joke that you’d got out of the wrong side of the bed that morning. You barely said hello to me before tackling me to the ground and whipping a free kick over my head in training. But that’s what makes you amazing. It’s hard to look back at that now and not smile knowing how close we are now after you apologised on a night out where we both stayed in the corner. A symbol of our friendship.

The day we came home from the hospital it was you who left meals at our doorstep, with a little care package for the three of us. It was you who fought your way to the front of the crowd to get the first hold. You’re right: looks are deceiving.

Alexia, my captain. You’re the biggest role model for me. I hope my daughter is as smart, courageous, passionate and caring as you are. I hope we put a smile on your face when you needed it just like you did for us.

The birth was coming closer, the both of you completely on edge about when it was going to happen. You were needed for the Champions League games but you also had a pregnant wife at home.

On a random Saturday you got a call from Alexia that the team were having a get together, your regular restaurant had an availability and they made some last-minute plans.

This wasn’t exactly what you needed right now, the stress of preparing the house for the baby was stressful but you were glad to get out of the house.

What you wasn’t expecting though was to open the doors of the restaurant to be met with all your teammates and both your mums and sisters. The room covered in pink and a massive baby sign at the back.

“Oh my…. What are you doing here?” You shouted, pulling your family into her a group hug.

“We’re here to celebrate of course. Your lovely teammates have been planning this for a while”

After you welcomed them you went over to your teammates, individually thanking them all. “Who organised this?”

“We all helped but this was Alexia’s idea, she also wanted to invite your family.” Ana admitted.

When you came to Alexia you gave her the biggest hug of all, tears in both your eyes. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do this.”

“If being captain doesn’t allow you to do this sort of stuff then there’s no point. That baby needs to get used to us anyway so may as well start whilst it’s in the womb.”

I can’t wait for all the seasons to come x

….

And to all of you out there. All of us have times when it can seem like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, when all hope is lost. Just remember the light never goes away, it’s only hidden from view. It will come back.

Y/N x

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso imagines #barcelona femeni #barcelona femeni imagine #barcelona femeni x reader #barca

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missbabyjay · 2 years

Text

Vinyls - Joel Miller x Reader

SMUT!!

MASTERLIST - CHECK OUT MY PAGE FOR MORE!

I've been on a huge music kick lately which is what inspired this. I see so many angsty/dark fics with Joel on here, I just had to add some sweet fluff. This takes place in Jackson, and definitely strays a little from the original story line of TLOU.

Warnings/Content: Explicit, mentions of alcohol, Fluff, A little bit of smut

Summary: Music has always been a huge part of your life and when you're exploring the house given to you in Jackson you come upon some vinyl records.

Word Count: 1.6 K

. . .

You couldn’t deny the excitement that washed over you after you arrived in Jackson. The overall environment seemed so close to life before the pandemic; children playing and laughing, electricity, warmth, food. You, Joel and Ellie were given a house to stay in - it was large, inviting and had mostly been untouched for the past couple of decades. You appreciated how it was almost stuck in the time before the world went to shit. As sad as it was to see the life of a family that was no longer present, you were grateful for the space and company of the village. You finally felt safe after trekking across the country.

You had been in Jackson for about a month. The community had been quite accepting of the three of you, and you quickly became somewhat comfortable with life once again - something you never thought you would feel. You took on work at the dining hall as well as the greenhouses. Life almost began to seem normal.

One day you were exploring the left behind items in the basement of the house, and you came across a few boxes of old records, as well as a record player. It had been years since you heard music, something that had been a huge part of your life before the pandemic. Your parents were musicians on the side of their full time office jobs. Instead of getting a babysitter they would often bring you along to their gigs. Your love for music began at a very young age - your parent’s shows being some of your first memories in life.

You were about halfway through your teens when the outbreak day occurred. Your world quickly came crashing down and your dreams were forced to shrivel up and die; survival was now your top priority. You had always dreamed of becoming a musician yourself, but in a world ridden with sickness and death that was a foolish dream to continue having.

You lightly dusted off the record player with a tattered rag and managed to bring it upstairs, making sure to run down and grab the boxes of records afterwards. As you were fiddling around with the delicate machine you heard footsteps on the stairs coming from upstairs. Ellie’s voice rid the silence of the room, “Whatcha got there?” she said with genuine curiosity. That was one of the things you loved most about Ellie - she was so curious. Being her age, as well as being raised under a corrupt government, meant that she didn’t get the pleasure of experiencing life before, or anything similar to it. You were glad she was here in Jackson. You were hopeful to give her a taste of the life you had at her age.

“Oh hey El, it’s a record machine, ever heard of one?” you chuckled jokingly, as you began sorting through the boxes - confident that you would find at least one of your favourite bands considering the abundance of vintage records that sat before you. “I-I think so?” she confusingly admitted. Your lips curved into a quiet and gentle smile as she joined you on the floor. She helped herself to the second box, pulling out the records; gently gliding her fingers across them, analysing the shape and texture of the frayed sleeves.

“A-ha! I knew I’d find a good one,” you exclaimed as you pulled out the record titled “Saturday Night Fever”.

“Saturday night fever? What the fuck kind of name is that?” Ellie snorted as she snatched the vinyl sleeve from your hands.

You giggled, “This is disco music El, it’s so fun to dance to… I promise,” you raised your eyebrows in a goofy manner while you cautiously blew the dust off the vinyl and fixed it on to the player. Ellie watched as you lifted the arm gently and placed it on the delicate surface of the record, hoping you found the right groove for the song you were expecting to hear. You looked at Ellie with excitement as the room began to fill with music. She had a sort of goofy look on her face, but you quickly grabbed her hands lifting to her feet. You Should Be Dancing by the Bee Gees was filling the room as you danced around, hand in hand with Ellie. She had such an innocently happy smile spread across her face, giggling every few seconds at your ridiculous dance moves.

===========

Joel’s POV

Joel was not expecting to be met with music when he entered the house. It had also been quite some time since he was able to enjoy instruments collectively working together to create a sweet, lively melody. It brought him back to life before the outbreak; going out with Tommy to the country bars in Texas, enjoying his glass of whiskey while the music encapsulated his soul.

He cautiously walked through the hallway and peeked his head around the corner to see you and Ellie carelessly letting the music move your bodies, while giggling like maniacs. Joel wasn’t a man of many feelings, he usually kept quiet and emotionless, but you and Ellie began to pick away at that part of him. A small smile crept onto his face as he continued to watch the two of you.

Joel felt a mixture of feelings towards you. He despised you when he first met you in the QZ a handful of years ago. You seemed too happy and naive living in such a sad and gruesome world. He worried that you would get yourself killed, or get him killed, but he always felt the need deep down inside to help you. You were quite young when Joel met you, just barely thirty, and you were nothing but alone. Maybe his regret of not doing enough for Sarah was what drove him to help you.

He’ll never forget the day he told you he was leaving to take Ellie, you were nearly begging on your knees for him to take you. Without Joel you didn’t have anyone in the QZ, and Joel knew that. He was hopeful to get you somewhere safe, and when Jackson became an option he knew it was best to settle down and keep both you and Ellie there.

It made his heart warm to watch you give Ellie an experience she’d never had before. He hesitated to interrupt, not wanting to ruin the moment or scare the two of you. He waited until the song had finished, watching you engulf Ellie into your loving arms he decided to speak up, “Look at you two,” he cooed.

===========

Both you, and Ellie, turned your heads to see Joel watching from the archway. “Hey there cowboy,” you winked, giving Ellie one last squeeze before making your way over to Joel; tenderly placing your lips on his rough, bearded cheek. Joel wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and spinning you around - something he had never done before. It made you giggle, sending vibrations from your chest to his. Joel nuzzled his face into your neck, peppering you with sweet kisses.

“Ooook, I’m gonna go keep reading my book,” Ellie stated awkwardly, widening her eyes at the both of you before proceeding to go back to her room. Joel laughed deeply before pulling away from you. “Want to dance m’lady?”. Yet another thing you didn’t expect for Joel. He never seemed to be like this, but you figured moving to Jackson was enough to calm him down and allow some of his personality shine through. You loved this side of Joel.

You nodded, inviting him to grab your hand and slide his other around your waist; pulling you close as the two of you grooved around the room. The close proximity of your bodies allowed you to soak in his scent - masculine and woodsy. It sent shivers down your spine. You moved your hands to grasp his large arms, his hands snaking around you. You ran your hands up and down, feeling the rough texture of his jacket.

You loved everything about Joel and he felt those same feelings about you. The both of you had your flaws, but you embraced them. The two of you fit together like puzzle pieces.

Joel’s hand trailed upwards to your face, brushing the back of his fingers against your delicate skin. His eyes glowed with love and lust as he deeply gazed at you. “I love you,” subconsciously slipped out of Joel’s lips. Your eyes widened when you clued in, the music slightly muffling his words. You looked at Joel, “I-” you began, “I love you too, Joel”. Joel lifted his hand to your chin, tenderly moving his face to meet yours in a passionate kiss. Your body had been stricken with surprise from Joel’s words, but as your lips intertwined your feelings dissipated into pleasure.

Your hands quickly made their way to Joel’s hair, tangling his curls within your fingers. You pulled at the strands as you deepened the kiss. You could taste the residual whiskey on his tongue, nearly making you drunk for him. “Baby girl,” Joel disconnected from your lips, placing kisses across your cheeks as he began his journey to your neck. A moan slipped from your lips as Joel began nipping and licking at your neck, “Joel.”

“Up,” Joel demanded, lifting you to wrap your legs around his abdomen. You followed his instructions, resuming the embrace your lips shared with Joel’s, running your tongue against his bottom lip aggressively. He allowed you to tangle your soft and aching tongue with his. You held on for dear life as Joel tumbled onto your shared bed, keeping you cradled to his chest.

You swore you could melt in his arms, his touch made your body feel as hot as burning embers. The two of you undressed each other and electricity sparked as your bare skin touched. The warmth radiated against your bodies, leaving almost no need for covers. You spent the remainder of the night basking in the company of each other; showering in loving kisses and reaching your high together.

. . .

Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated! <3

#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal imagine #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal tlou #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fluff

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fallynleaf-gifs · 2 years

Photo

Wherever I go... whatever country I go to... I want the Golden Lovers to fight with the same emotion and one heart. —Kenny Omega

“What would Kota think?”

2019-2021

This is a long-overdue gifset. I meant to finish it in November 2021, then I meant to finish it in early 2022, then, well, May 2022 happened, and the Golden Lovers story effectively got put on ice, so I shelved the gifset, too. But now we have reason to hope again, so here it is. The Golden Lovers’ path has never been a straightforward or easy one.

I’ve seen Kota Ibushi described as a “ghost” that haunted Kenny Omega for those few years, but I don’t think that’s quite accurate. Kota has been part of the fabric of AEW itself since the very beginning. Despite the fact that he has yet to make an actual appearance, he has been present in direct references and allusions, in the Golden Lovers symbol on the shoulder of Kenny’s gear, and in the golden “E” in “AEW”, which originally came from the Golden Elite.

Without Kota Ibushi, AEW as we know it would not exist. Of course, a large part of that is his continuing influence on anything and everything that Kenny does. Kenny Omega only really tells one story. It’s the same story that he has been telling his whole career. Sometimes it’s a quiet, subtle story, and sometimes it’s a very loud one. Sometimes it’s both at the same time.

The first direct, unmistakable reference to Kota in AEW happened in an infamous Undertale-themed VTR on October 30, 2019. In it, Kenny is plagued by his own insecurity (which was not helped by Kota’s recent G1 win, in contrast to Kenny’s recent failures in AEW), and a seductive voice tries to prompt him to let it take control before his other tag partners leave him, too. But Sans steps in to stave off the inevitable, and Kenny manages to keep it together—for about a year or so.

The next reference happens a little over a week later, at Full Gear on November 9. Kenny has an unsanctioned match with Jon Moxley, and he brings out all sorts of weapons, including a horrific bed of barbed wire that Hangman Page and the Young Bucks were reluctant to help him with. But what gets him in the end isn’t any weapon, but a failed Phoenix Splash (Kota’s first finisher) onto the exposed wood of the ring. From there, Mox hits a Paradigm Shift and pins him. Kenny could endure broken glass and barbed wire, but the one pain he couldn’t withstand is the pain of a broken heart.

After that, he tries to retreat back into the only comfort he knows: tag team wrestling. He pressures Hangman into tagging with him, and the two of them set their sights on tag team gold. Miraculously, they manage to make it work, winning the titles a scant month and a half or so before the world shuts down. Kenny’s main focus is on tag team wrestling during this time, but in order to fix one major blemish on his singles record, he ends up wrestling Pac in an ironman match on February 26, 2020. One of the moves he pulls out is unmistakably a Kamigoye (Kota’s current finisher).

A few days after that, on February 29, Kenny and Hangman defend their titles against the Young Bucks at Revolution. It’s a match with quite a few references and callbacks (especially to the Golden Lovers vs Young Bucks match in 2018), but the most striking moment was the Bucks hitting Kenny with a Golden Trigger (the Golden Lovers’ finisher), which Kenny kicks out of after a mere 1-count, prompting a massive response from the crowd. No one can weaponize the Golden Lovers’ own love against him like that.

The end of that match portends division and betrayal between the four men, but before the story can continue as planned, the covid-19 pandemic hits, and everything in the world of pro wrestling changes.

The year that follows is a hard one. Kenny’s AEW tag title run has a cruel symmetry with Kota’s concurrent NJPW tag title run. Just as Kenny and Hangman finally find their equilibrium, FTR arrives to sow conflict, The Elite fractures, Kenny and Hangman drop the titles, and Kenny gives up on tag team wrestling. Everything in the Undertale VTR had come to pass. Having nowhere else to go, he goes to an old family friend: Don Callis.

Then, at Winter Is Coming on December 2, wrestling in frigid 40°F weather at the open-air Daily’s Place, Kenny beats Jon Moxley for the AEW World Championship, thanks to Don Callis helping him cheat. The two of them abscond with the title after the so-called “golden screwjob”, and Kenny takes it somewhere the Young Bucks aren’t willing to follow him—Impact Wrestling.

Thus kicks off the Belt Collector arc. Kenny soon acquires two new/old goons: Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows, both former members of Bullet Club. He starts considering himself part of Bullet Club again, and declares his intent to collect more belts besides the AEW one (and the AAA Mega Championship, which he already had), starting with Impact.

On January 4, 2021, Kota Ibushi wins the IWGP Heavyweight and Intercontinental Championships at Wrestle Kingdom in NJPW. A few days after that, Kenny posts an Instagram story wherein he looks at Sports Illustrated’s list of the top 10 wrestlers of 2020. Kenny is number five on the list, and Kota is number eight. We can see that Kenny was looking at Kota’s entry before he looked at his own.

Then, on January 28, on the three year anniversary of their reunion, Kota tweets at Kenny, proposing that their two companies change the industry together. Kenny replies, using Nak’s translation as a mediator, and says, “Already feeling lonely in the Kingdom I left for you? Shall I destroy it? Take my hand, we’ll build a new one”. Kota responds to him, but receives no answer.

A few days after that, on February 3, Kenta appears on AEW Dynamite, blowing the so-called Forbidden Door between AEW and NJPW wide open. From that point on, we’re truly in uncharted territory.

Kenny challenges for (and wins) the Impact World Championship in April, but leading up to that match, Don simultaneously stokes Kenny’s ego and tries to gaslight him into erasing Kota from his own history. He encourages Kenny to repeatedly say that no one has ever kicked out of the One Winged Angel (only one person actually has: Kota Ibushi. He’s the source of Kenny’s greatest strength and his greatest weakness). However, no matter how much Don tries, Kenny’s age-old insecurity emerges on March 23, when Don names a long list of wrestlers that Kenny is supposedly better than, and Kenny yells out “Bigger than Ibushi!”

Kenny names Kota again in a AAA promo on August 31, listing him among the best high flyers in the world. It’s abundantly clear that to Kenny Omega, Kota Ibushi is the greatest wrestler in the world. No matter how far Kenny goes, no matter how many belts he collects, no matter how many accolades he receives, Kota Ibushi will always stand above him in his own mind. Kenny will never be able to outrun him or let go of him. He can’t fill the hole in his heart with a new tag partner, and he can’t fill it with belts, either.

While all of this is happening, Kota is unfortunately not having the greatest summer of his life. He loses the IWGP belt to Will Ospreay on April 4, then gets aspiration pneumonia in July. He participates in the G1 Climax tournament in September and manages to make it all the way to the finals, but he dislocates his shoulder after a failed Phoenix Splash while facing Kazuchika Okada on October 21.

Kenny’s own injuries come back to haunt him, too, but his autumn goes a little bit better.

Adam Cole—an actual ghost from Kenny’s past—comes back to sow trouble for the Elite (though it takes a while to actually manifest), debuting at All Out on September 5 along with Bryan Danielson. Bryan wrestles Kenny a couple weeks later in his first match as an AEW member, on September 22 at Grand Slam. He forces Kenny to fight him with everything he has, and for just a moment, Bryan is able to draw out the Best Bout Machine instead of the Belt Collector. As he always does in his moments of greatest need, Kenny reaches for Kota Ibushi, and once again executes a Phoenix Splash, which, as always, he is unable to actually hit. This time, it doesn’t end in tragedy, though. Instead, the match goes to a full time limit draw.

The death knell for the Belt Collector looms near, however. Hangman Page earns himself a shot at the AEW World Championship at Full Gear on November 13. Three days before the match, they hold a contract signing for it on Dynamite.

Hangman, who knows Kenny very well by this point, is able to read the subtext. He finally figures it out. He realizes that everything Kenny said to him, everything that he did to him and with him, it was never actually about Hangman. It all sprung from a deeper wound that Kenny has carried with him all this time. As soon as Hangman figures this out, nothing Kenny does to him can hurt him anymore. "But if I remember, you once had another tag team partner who maybe you felt like you didn't measure up to either."

That one line also does something else that’s very important: it brings Kota Ibushi out of AEW’s subtext and into the main text. He’s part of the story now. And he always was. (The man himself liked a gif of Hangman’s “you once had another tag partner” line on twitter shortly after it happened. If there was ever any doubt that he’d been keeping up with what Kenny was doing in his absence, it’s gone now.)

Maybe the best illustration of this is a front row sign that a fan brings to Hangman and Kenny’s match at Full Gear a few days later. “What would Kota think?” Kenny stops to stare at it for a long moment before entering the ring. Years earlier, he’d talked about being so surprised and thrilled that the fans had managed to pick up on the Golden Lovers story leading up to their reunion in NJPW. He was so touched by the fact that the fans had known their history, after all that time. I wonder if he felt something similar here. It was in many ways the culmination of his efforts. The story made deeply tangible, here at the climax of its most difficult chapter.

As was always meant to happen, Kenny loses to Hangman and drops the AEW title. He makes one last onscreen appearance on November 17, 2021 before temporarily stepping away from AEW and away from wrestling so that he can recuperate from years of overworking himself. He says, “I feel like... there’s things I gotta fix, there’s things I gotta change, and I can’t do it here.” Is his relationship with Kota one of those things he had to fix?

Here’s where the story gets a bit hazy. Unfortunately, the year that follows does not go particularly well for either of the Golden Lovers, and plans have to get rewritten. Their respective injuries take longer than expected to heal, which leads to Kota having a falling out with NJPW in May 2022 after they try to force him to come back to the ring too soon. Kenny is finally able to make his own return in August 2022, but he returns to a troubled backstage environment, which finally boils over during the media scrum after All Out on September 4. Kenny and the rest of the Elite are forced to vacate their freshly won Trios Championships, and they all get suspended for a few months during the investigation.

But even in the darkest of moments, things aren’t all bad. The Golden Lovers reunite in a restaurant in Japan on September 15. They reunite on their own terms, outside of any company. The future is still a bit unclear for them, but wherever the story goes next, they want to do it right. “Because the tag team with him is more special to me than anything,” Kota says. He asks Kenny to wait for him, and Kenny assures him that he’ll wait as long as it takes. They both proclaim that the Golden Lovers aren’t over.

One day, the stars will align for them again. If it happens in AEW, the stage is already set. "What would Kota think?” was the question posed at the end of 2021. Maybe one day we will get to hear his answer.

#Golden Lovers #Kenny Omega #Kota Ibushi #AEW #Impact Wrestling #AAA #wrestling #gif essays #happy ''Kota Ibushi's NJPW contract is up!'' day to all who celebrate #i am SO SORRY this gifset is late! life really got away from me in 2021 and then it got even worse in 2022 #manifesting a better 2023 for both of the golden lovers and for the rest of us too!!#i don't know how regularly i'll be able to make content for this blog again but i do want to get back into giffing!#long post

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odetodilfs · 2 years

Note

I was wondering if you could do a fan fic where joel and tommy are traveling but it takes place 20 years before they meet Ellie and they meet someone along the way. they don’t trust him at first but joel starts catching feelings. you could make it smut or fluff it doesn’t really matter based on your previous pieces of work you seem to be a good writer

Please and thank you

Let myself loose

I loved this request so much!! It was super cute to write and overall just amazing, far better than my usual smut. Lots of fluff too!!

Pairing: bottom Joel Miller x top m!reader Warnings: Breeding, mentions of crying, implied homophobia, soft Joel deserves his own warning.

Joel had always lived with his attraction to men, he knew it, he acknowledged it, he just never told anyone, Texas wasn’t a good place to be queer, so he just pushed down his attraction to men and tried to focus on raising his daughter Sarah instead. It worked out alright for him, he was happy with her. That all changed one day though. After Sarah’s death which he mourned greatly, he and Tommy traveled across the US. Their travels made them closer as brothers and it helped Joel not be as stuck on Sarah’s death. They traveled the country and eventually got used to living in a world where rations were the norm and where vines growing on buildings was nothing out of the ordinary.

You on the other hand had no family and lived in New York, when the pandemic hit, you embraced your identity as a queer man and eventually when New York became deserted, you realized surviving winter there was not going to be easy, so you went further south towards milder climates. You had walked for days and you were exhausted, a clicker had messed up your car engine while you slept so you couldn’t use your car, there, you met Joel and Tommy, “Hey- guys-” you said tiredly, Joel instantly held up a weapon, “Hey, hey, calm down” Tommy said, grabbing the knife in his hand, “Let him talk” “Well, I’ve walked for days, and I’m super hungry…” you said, “and I’m alone” you said, trying to convince them to take them with you, “Do we trust him?” Joel asked, still worried that you might mean harm,” “He’s limping, Joel” Tommy replied almost sassily, “let’s help him” he said, helping you walk.

Joel had eyed you more now and something in him started to tell him, “Help that man walk, don’t let your brother do it” the voices in his head got louder as Tommy got closer to you, “No worries, Tommy, I’ll do this” he said, grabbing your arms and holding you up, “This good?” he asked, he couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit, “Yes, thank you, you have no idea..” you thanked them.

One thing you noticed about these two men was how incredibly good looking they were, but the Joel guy… he was incredible, that mustache, the brown eyes and the way he probably just wanted someone to hold him, he also smelt good, which was another plus for him, you learned the two men were brothers and also learnt Joel had recently suffered from his daughter Sarah’s death.

“Oh- oh shit man I’m so sorry” you said, patting him on the shoulder, Joel was trying hard to not sob, “Hey, it’s alright to cry” you reassured him, but he just blamed it on the ashes in the fire in front of you, “He’s like that” Tommy stepped in, but he’s a nice fella, anyway, where are you from? We come from Texas,” “New York” you said, “Nice, nice” Tommy kept talking, you could tell Joel was zoned out, probably still mourning Sarah. Joel was also paying attention to every word you were saying, you had caught him and he didn’t know why, but he was just so interested in everything you had to say.

However, the two brothers still distrusted you and it was clear enough, you sometimes caught them talking to each other and acting like they weren’t as soon as they saw you. But Joel started to like you more, eventually fully trusting you more. He noticed himself looking at you for longer than he should have, Tommy sometimes telling him what was the matter with him and why he was zoning out so often, Joel was starting to have to face the reality that he had caught feelings for you.

Your feelings for Joel also continued to grow, you had managed to see another side of him, you went to sleep every night, imagining what those sweet, full looking lips tasted like, holding Joel as physically close as possible, things like those were what made you smile, you had tried to be extra flirty with him, but he just didn’t catch onto your flirting. Tommy decided to part ways and started to live in a city, it was clearly hard for Joel who wanted to keep traveling, but Tommy was tired of walking around, he wanted to settle down, have his own kids. Luckily, you were there for Joel, and he realized he had no choice but to trust you blindly, you and him became like best friends to each other, you were the only thing you both had, which just strengthened your feelings for each other even more. The tension between you two could be cut with a knife, if someone had been with you they definitely would’ve just asked you to kiss already. One night, it was super cold, like your bones start aching kind of cold, and when you were sleeping in a house with no windows, the cold had no trouble getting in, you got to thinking and realized the only way for you to sleep would be to cuddle with Joel, and upon further notice, it was a chance to cuddle him as well, “Joel, I’m fucking cold” you complained, following your plan, you looked at him, he started removing his jacket, he was always so selfless, just one element of the endless list of things you liked about him, “No, you fucking silly, we should… sleep close to each other” you cut yourself off right before saying cuddling, “No, take my jacket” Joel protested, he loved the idea of cuddling you, but he was too nervous, he didn’t have enough confidence, “For fuck’s sake Joel, I said no” you complained, going closer to him, Joel felt himself getting weak as you approached.

You snuggled in close to him, Joel immediately tensed up at the feel of your body warming him up, you turned around so you could see his face, your lips were mere centimeters from each other, “Joel-” you started saying, “Thanks for doing this to keep us warm” he said, still tense, trying to change the topic

“Joel, I know you want to kiss me” you continued, Joel hadn’t done a very good job at keeping his feelings for you hidden… he didn’t reply, he started to panic, you realized you had to make the first move, so you grabbed his head and kissed his lips firmly but sweetly. His lips were amazing, the way your tongues were against each other, the way he tasted, the soft, faint whimpers he let out as he finally gave into the pleasure he’d wanted to feel for so many months. When you pulled apart, Joel still had his eyes closed, he gradually opened them, “I-” he started

“Joel, it’s alright, I’ve wanted it for months too, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve seen” you confessed as you ran your hand along his cheek, there was a tear rolling down his face, “And I mean it, you could say I love you, the way you get dimples everytime you smile, the way you laugh, the way your face looks so cute when you zone out,” you said, then, he said what you’d dreamed that he’d say one day, “I love you too,” he confessed as he held you, “I’m just so damn afraid of losing you, or maybe I wanted to give this Sarah business some time, but I’ve loved you ever since I helped you walk when we met” he confessed, his eyes glowing with happy tears, “Now… cuddling sounds good, but don’t you think we can warm ourselves up doing something more… active?” he said, flirting as he stroked your inner thigh, you hadn’t pictured him as the type to flirt, but your dick was getting hard at his words…

“Joel-” you moaned, “I’ve wanted to do this for so, so, fucking long,” he breathed out, “Then do it” he didn’t quite know what to do, it was his first time with a man, but his legs naturally spread for you, you looked at him, you didn’t really mind who was a top and who bottomed, but the way Joel’s legs spread out for you gave you a view of his ass, you wanted to fuck him, be inside him, “It’s my first time with a man-” he moaned, “It’s alright Joel, but we don’t have lube, you’re gonna have to suck me first so I’m lubed enough for you to take me” “Sure, darling” he said, moving down your body and taking out your cock, the cold air hit it but immediately went into Joel’s warm, waiting mouth. Joel sucked your dick and it was the first time he’d sucked a cock, but he was surprisingly good at it and kept trying to swallow your cock, you were shaking in pleasure, his mouth felt amazing, your dick was twitching in his throat. He was extremely eager, you could tell he was trying to lube you up as fast as possible, he was taking your cock so well down his throat, but you felt your orgasm getting close, “F-fuck- Joel, if you don’t stop I’m gonna-” you whimpered, he immediately took your cock out of his mouth, “Are you lubed up now?” he asked so prettily, your dick glistening with his spit, “We could try” you said, taking some of the slick on your dick and putting it on your fingers, then pulled Joel’s pants down, his hole was exposed to you. You started putting your fingers inside him to loosen up, he just moaned and begged for more, being as loud as he wanted to, he was confident no one was around, when you had two fingers buried in his ass, you finally found his prostate, he yelped in pleasure and threw his head back, “Is that good, Joel?” you asked sweetly, “Y-yes- m-more- again-” he whimpered, “As you say, my love” you went back to fingering him, then pushing a third finger in, there was a lack of lube, so you had to be extra gentle with him, but you managed.

As you started to go inside him, he whimpered, you held his hand, “Shh my love, I’m right here” you reassured him,

“This isn’t a one time thing, tell me it’s not a one time thing please” he begged, totally seriously, “it won’t be” you kissed him, “I love you, Joel” you whispered, your dick kept going further inside him, “Oh fuck-” Joel moaned as tears came out of his eyes from happiness and pleasure, “Shhh, it’s alright, you’re taking me well my dear, so well…” you reassured him, your cock brushed past his prostate and he breathed in sharply. His ass felt so warm around your dick, and the way he clenched slightly was giving just the right amount of pressure on your dick.

You moaned as you started thrusting into him, Joel’s eyes shut tight in pleasure, your dick getting closer to orgasm with each thrust, “Please-” he begged, having no idea what he was begging for, all he knew, was that he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life, “What do you want, my sweet Joel?” you asked him, “Ngh-” Joel moaned, he started looking you in the eye, his eyes were wide open just like his mouth, he started breathing hard and Joel came a lot, he was having the best orgasm of his life as you continued fucking into him, the way he clenched around your cock so tightly made you scream in pleasure as well and cum inside him, making him yours.

You pulled out, “Did you like that?” you asked, smiling

“I loved it” he said, cuddling you and putting his clothes back on, “Better now? Not cold?” he chuckled “No” you said as you laid your head on his chest, “Were you serious?” he asked, “When you said you loved me?” “I was, I’ve loved you for long enough, I couldn’t repress it anymore” you confessed, “But… what if I’m not enough for you?” Joel started, “You are enough for me, Joel,” you said as you brought him in for a soft, sweet kiss on the lips, “you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, a man to love, as we cuddle after sex, but maybe not in a post apocalyptic world, but I’m happy for once, and it’s because of you” you said, “I love you” he simply said and held you to him as he sobbed into your shoulder, “I don’t want to lose you” he said, worried for you, “You won’t, we’ll travel the country together, proudly holding hands, cause no one will be there to call us names, we’ll be free” you held his hand, “We will be” Joel said as he started to fall asleep, “Goodnight, babe” he said, “Goodnight my love, sleep well” you said, now both of you warm.

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller x male reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x male reader #pedro pascal characters #tlou #gay #x male reader #gay love

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blueberryinko · 7 months

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How about this story idea/request??

Due to Covid + Quarantine, a boyfriend had been stuck over seas not being able to get back with her girlfriend back in the US (so imagine if the story took place today, that would of meant he was stuck in that other country for at least three years), only to finally get the opportunity to get back home.

He would get to his house where he and his girlfriend lives when when his went to finally see his gf again, he would see how quarantine had affected her; due to the need of money, she had to take jobs as a surrogate (with the current one being her 5th surrogate pregnancy with many, many multiples) with the cravings hitting her pretty hard, as she is now a heavily pregnant fat doughball, barely able to waddle and not being able to wear clothes due to her size (she also lactates a lot).

Then after a hard but loving conversation, the boyfriend admits that she loves the way his gf looks, with the couple getting into it.

Also you don’t have to write this, but maybe the boyfriend was stuck in Japan cause it was one of the first countries to get hit by COVID.

(Oh my fucking GOD this is so hot.)

Quarantine Gestator

(Minor reference to farting here only in the humorous sense, I promise)

“Can you believe I’m coming home soon?” Adam asked, looking at his computer screen, his girlfriend’s face showing on the monitor, though anything below her head was cut off.

“What- wait really?” Brie’s voice was pitchy and tinged with alarm, though she tried to mask it as enthusiasm. What would he say if he saw her like this? “Wh-when do you think you’ll be back?” She tried to probe gently, Adam not seeing his girlfriend’s nervousness. “Oh by next week at the latest.” He replied nonchanatly. “NEXT WEEK?” She yelped, her cheeks hot with embarrassment. “Oh my God, I- I can’t wait to have you b-back!” Truth be told she was dreading him coming back and seeing what a pig she’d made of herself.

Adam hadn’t seen his girlfriend in three years. The coronavirus pandemic had him stuck in Japan, only able to see her through Zoom calls. The time difference made it so that one of them was always tired and lethargic. She’d stopped showing her body a while back because ‘she’d grown too big to show ANYTHING off now.’ Being a professional surrogate, he’d gotten to see her belly grow with multiples twice over the pandemic, and he’d loved seeing every inch of her belly swell out larger and larger with half a dozen lives.

Being stuck in Japan hadn’t been all bad. Sure, the paper-thin walls of his apartment meant he could hear his neighbour blowing up her girlfriend like a hot air balloon, but the sights were still cool, he got delivery fresh from the restaurant across the way, and he’d managed to keep relatively healthy. The same couldn’t be said for his girlfriend.

“Hey honey, I’m ho-ome!” He called, opening the door to his apartment. “I-in here!” His girlfriend called. Last she’d updated him, she was seven months pregnant, and to his utter amazement, with eleven babies “Coming-holy shit babe!”

The sight Adam had walked into was.. really fucking hot. Brie had let herself go too much during the pandemic. She had REALLY let herself go. She was quite literally a huge ball of flab and baby, a doughball if he could make any such comparison. Adam felt his blood rush south as his jaw dropped, eyes wide. “B-brie.. baby, you look…”

Brie’s plump, round cheeks were a bright crimson, flapping her hands. Her body jiggled slightly as she did, completely humiliated by her titanic size. She was also, to Adam’s added arousal, completely naked, pink, puffy nipples gushing milk down her front. “Like a cow?” She knew it, she was a disgusting slob, she couldn’t even move of her own accord! Adam shook his head fervently. “No, god no, Brie, never! You look like a goddess!” He approached her, rubbing her soft, fat flesh gently. She cooed, sniffling. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Adam murmured. “You must have been so lonely.” He murmured. Quarantine had kept them apart for three years. “So.. when did you get, you know, this big?” He asked. Brie didn’t really know, but she could make an estimate. “Somewhere around a year and a half in? I think? I don’t know, I was carrying like seven babies back then, and my body just.. never lost the weight it gained. Doctors said my body was self-sustaining now at least, so there was that. I got used to it, but I didn’t want to show you my face, I love being like this, but I was so afraid you’d stop loving me.”

“Brie, how could I?” Adam reasoned. “You and I, six years we’ve been together, even longer we’d been best friends. I love you no matter how big or how small you are.” A kick from the babies made her body shudder, and Brie moaned. “What was it, thirteen babies in here this time?” He asked gently, kneeling to rub her belly. She confirmed with a nod. “Y-yeah, f-five families, a batch each.. the docs pumped me real full…” She moaned, the feeling of Adam’s hand orgasmic to her. She was so sensitive nowadays she could barely think, let alone waddle. Speaking of…

Her crotch dragged along the floor as she waddled. Small mews and whimpers escaped her as she did so, pounds and pounds of luscious, fatty flesh jiggling as she did so, the big butterball breeder simply unable to move under her own weight. Well, she could, just not for long. Adam caressed her belly as it met his hand. “So, you’re stuck like this?” Brie nodded, her chin hitting the thick layer of flab that was her divot. “For the rest of my life.”

“Then I’m moving you in to my place,” Adam decided. “We can get you a barn, some milking machines and an ultrasound room for you, I got a huge insurance payout from the airline after my flight delay.” Brie started to deny it, but Adam stopped her with a kiss. “Trust me babe, you can be my fat, bloated cow as long as you want.” Brie spluttered, “I don’t exactly like-nngggaaaahh!” She squealed as her clit throbbed, the weight of her pussy on the floor causing pressure in her underside.

“O-okay, I do like being like this.” Brie admitted quietly. Adam grinned, leaning down. He began to suckle from her teat, and Brie’s eyes went wide. “Oh, fuck, Adam!” She gasped as milk flowed down Adam’s throat. The babies kicked, and Brie wished they were theirs. Adam continued to drink, squeezing Brie’s golf-ball sized nipple, watching as a river of milk splashed down his girlfriend’s expanse, dripping down his chin. He stopped to take a breath, wiping his chin. “That.. tastes fucking amazing.” Adam grinned, rolling her further onto her belly.

“Adam-Adam, oh, sh-shit!” Brie shuddered, her entire frame reverberating as fat flesh slapped on her wooden floor. She flapped her hands, no longer in control of her body. The cold air wasted no time in chilling her sensitive, swollen labia, making her shiver. “C-cold, baby!” She whined. Adam leaned over, his hands over her head, fingers sinking slightly into her taut flesh. “I know love, want me to warm you up?” He asked gently.

Her coos were all the answer he needed, beginning to rub her belly. The sensation of dozens of unborn lives wriggling and shifting inside her caused her turgid frame to wobble, and she adored it. The fact that Adam seemed to be just as into it was a huge bonus for her. Her skin felt electric, his hands quickly warming her body. “Nnf- oh fuck!” She was a fat, baby baking blimp, and he was handling her like she was a modern angel, careful and loving.

“Fuck, you’re so big.” Adam hissed, playing with her fat belly. He wondered if her diameter would count as an entire baby bump in and of itself, layering kisses down her gut. “Aaanh!” Brie’s breath hitched, feeling him trailing down, down, down. Then, she felt hands on her underside. Then she was rolling. Her massive weight began to bowl around the room. “Uwaaaa…” If she could rub herself, she would. The feeling was heavenly, his hands manhandling her as she went. “Imagine what you’re gonna be like with MY babies inside you.” He growled possessively.

“A-Adam!” She started, and Adam watched as she babbled, her head coming around again to look at him from her divot. “You like that my big breeder?” She was helpless to him as she settled on her side. He kneeled down, taking her head in his hands and kissing her. “A-Adam, fuck, I want your babies!” She loved being a surrogate, but the primal, fertile side of her said she wanted her man’s babies cramming her womb, kicking and wriggling as they threatened to pop their big, fat mama.

“Oh I know baby, but don’t you like helping other families too? These babies are your gifts to the world, to people who want their own families.” Adam whispered, kissing her forehead. “Besides, you’re just a vessel now, right? What’s stopping anybody from, y’know, taking you as their breeder?” The teasing was too much. Brie’s pussy throbbed with need and her reddened cheeks heated further, sweat dripping down her chubby cheeks.

“N-nothing…” She mewed. Adam grinned, standing up. “Exactly, Brie. Nothing. Which means I can claim you.” She was rolling again, head over ass as she went, until her body pressed against the wall, her feet just barely touching the floor. Adam unzipped, his manhood threatening to tear his boxers in half. She couldn’t see it, but she sensed the shaft rubbing against her belly. “A-adam!” She needed him badly, and he knew it. Stripping off his boxers, he positioned himself.

“Such a big, fertile belly, gonna get so much bigger.” He teased, sliding his cock into her navel. She instinctively clenched around him, and he hissed. “Good girl, so fucking tight, aren’t you.” He loved how big her boobs had gotten, and as he fucked her belly, he leaned over, taking an engorged boob in his mouth. He squeezed and milk flooded his mouth. It was rich and almost like vanilla. “Adam, p-please-!” She gasped, flapping her hands. Adam kept a firm hold of her, pumping her for all her worth. She was surprised he was so eager, but she supposed her milk tank were just so big he couldn’t help himself.

Once he’d gulped down his fill, he wiped his mouth. He increased his speed, watching as she jiggled. He imagined her in the future, rolling about their house, moaning about how fucking pregnant he’d made her, his fat bred bride barely able to waddle under her weight. They’d have to get helpers, maybe maids. Those thoughts were naughty enough, and he could think of several ways they could help her. He was rigid, and Brie didn’t think he could get any bigger. “A-adam, gotta cum, g-gotta- please-!” She begged, vibrating visibly, creaking loudly.

SLAP, SLAP, SLAP- “Almost- there!” Adam came with a grunt- “UWAAA!” She came with a wet splash, shaking and shuddering as she rode out one of the longest orgasms she’d ever had. Brie gasped and panted for breath as it finally ended. She’d been pent up for a full two years and she was so glad she’d been able to cum. Adam wasn’t done yet though. And she was ready.

He rotated her body, grinning as her fat womanhood rose to meet him, her swollen underside glimmering with the slick results of her orgasm. Adam inserted a finger, testing. “Nggff!” She mewed, and he knew she was just if not more sensitive down here. “So wet.. all for me? Good baby baker.” He wasted no time in impaling her on his cock. She took him easily, and he was big enough that his head probed her cervix. He shifted his hips, pulsing inside her.

“A-adam, h-when did you get so— nyaaah! Big!?” She begged, alarmed at his size. He slowed, concerned he’d hurt her. “D-don’t stop!” She whimpered. He took it gentle, slow. Her heartbeat was so fast her skin was flush and hot, damp with sweat that dripped down her diameter. She was at the peak of her pleasure and she couldn’t believe how lucky she was. Any other man would surely have broken up with her, but not Adam. He sped up, fucking her vigorously. “Ngggh, nggh, graah!” He growled, her moans in tandem with his, plap, plap, plap, the slapping of their skin went. She couldn’t possibly get more pregnant than she was now, but he could certainly try.

“Breed me, breed me, fucking make me huge!” She begged, and as Adam came with a roar, her body billowed, stretchmarks becoming paler and harsher, her diameter straining and bulging to contain his gigantic load. She could feel his swimmers racing inside her, pumping her to the max. It was so much to bear that Adam fell back, taking her with him as she became plugged with his cock, sat right at the entrance to her cervix. “Whooaaa!” She squealed, landing on him with a soft whoomp.

He was pinned under her, and he wasn’t sure he could get up. They stayed like that for a while, Brie just enjoying being his cocksleeve, keeping his warmth enveloped in her puffy, pregnant lips. Then- “I really need to fart.” Adam admitted. Brie groaned. “Please don’t, please don’t-“ Too late, he’d already done it. “Babe!” She giggled, wrinkling her nose. “That’s so gross!” Adam laughed along with her, “C’mon, you’ve farted before too!” Brie squawked. “Yeah but not while someone has been inside my vagina!” The ridiculousness of the situation caught up to them and they couldn’t help but collapse into laughter.

Eventually Adam managed to roll her off of him, climbing on top of her. “Did you mean what you said?” She asked him. “About wanting your babies inside me?” Adam laid down on her belly, his head poking over the risen mountain of her cleavage. “Yeah. I love seeing you so fertile and fucked full of babies, but I want you to be my baby mama. Maybe exclusively just my babies one day.” He admitted. Brie bit her lip, before confessing something. “At the end of this pregnancy I get a thirteen million dollar payout. We could get married and start building our family.”

Adam gaped, before clambering over her breasts and kissing her. “You know how much I love you, right?” Brie mewed, kissing him back. And as his cock became stiff once again she raised an eyebrow. “Ready for round three? I wanna suck you instead this time.” And he did so eagerly.

Thirteen years later

“Belle, help me roll your mother to the truck!” Adam ordered. He helped his wife out of their mansion, the double doors built for her giant circumference. Their daughter rushed to help them. “Jesus Dad, was just trying to wrangle the octuplets! They’re being fussy with Millie and Jane again.” Their helpers were loyal friends to the family, but even they struggled with the twelve children the fat doughball of a woman had bred for Adam.

And she was very overdue with seven more, her body having delayed labour for a while to ensure the healthiest babies, somehow her body just knew, it was designed for incubating now. And finally it was time for the babies to be born so they had to drive a little ways up their land do the birthing house, where Adam and Brie could be in private for their new arrivals.

“Okay, go back and help them then, try and get them down for their afternoon nap?” Their daughter rushed off and Brie moaned through another contraction. “Baby stop worrying, we’ve done all this before..” She came with a grunt, another contraction tightening her diameter. Adam sighed. “I know, I just worry about you.” Brie chuckled. “Don’t, I know what I’m doing.” She murmured. As she was strapped into the truck, Adam rushed around to the driver’s seat.

Brie was a big, several hundred pound breeding blimp of a woman. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

#blueberry inflation #multiples pregnancy #blueberry expansion #pregnancy kink #hyperpregnancy #weight gain #roleplay #blueberryinflation #hyperpregnant #female feedee

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lesbiansandgayssupporttheminers · 2 years

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Apparently, on twitter, there are some people still unaware of the massive teacher shortage in England and Wales. It does affect some subjects and some geographic areas more than others, so let’s talk about it and the impact on kids and the impact on wider society.

And you can see here, teacher recruitment in 2022 was down on every measure: https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/find-statistics/initial-teacher-training-census

Teacher retention is also in a dire state- according to the DfE, nearly 20% of new teachers quit within just 2 years, whilst nearly half leave within 10 years. Meanwhile, NEU surveys show 44% of all teachers are considering leaving the profession in the next 5 years- see here: https://neu.org.uk/press-releases/state-education-profession

These surveys also show more and more schools having unfilled vacancies for teaching or support staff.

What does this actually mean in practice in the classroom?

In 2019, pre-pandemic, I was looking for a new science teaching job. I went to a few interviews, and found a job relatively easily, but all of the interviews I went to had a good field of applicants, and it didn’t seem like vacancies were going unfilled.

Last year, I worked in a school who had a vacancy for a science teacher. We advertised throughout the year, and it took 2 terms to find a suitable applicant. I left my job at that school, and got a new one on the first interview I went to (this is not because I’m amazing, I was the best of a bad bunch, as it were). My job, unfortunately, was not filled for September. Colleagues teaching maths and MFL (among others) also left at the same time and their jobs weren’t filled. Another vacancy was filled with an ECT who would be moving to the area but she couldn’t take up the post due to not being able to find anywhere to rent!

There will be areas of the country where teachers read this, and think actually, it doesn’t look so bad!

I know schools in my county and in the city where I used to work who now have no qualified physics teachers in the school. I know schools making timetable adjustments to ensure all students get time with a qualified science or maths teacher. I know of PE, English, History teachers teaching science or maths. I know of schools where I’d estimate 10% of the workforce is long term supply (who, btw, can just walk out one day and not come back). I know trainees being offered jobs in November of their training year for the following September.

Out of curiosity I keep an eye on teacher vacancies in my county- I’m seeing the same ones being advertised over and over since September. There’s currently over 20 vacancies being advertised for “as soon as possible” starts.

And certainly forget about finding maternity cover for a lot of subjects- teachers have no need to take temporary contracts at the moment!

So, what does this look like for the kids?

It means they get a string of supply teachers, who may change week on week. It means not being taught by subject specialists. It means if their teacher leaves part way through the year (and teachers do) there is almost no chance of that teacher being replaced, and no spare capacity to juggle. Schools try their best to “protect” exam classes, but it doesn’t always happen.

These kids get poorer quality lessons, often little marking/feedback, and run the risk of missing bits of the exam syllabus. Often, they don’t get to do practical work in relevant subjects, or the practical work they do will be more limited. HoDs are stressed sorting cover, and their own classes get neglected. Teachers go off sick with stress, and the class gets a few weeks of cover (or maybe more if things are really bad).

It also means that kids go without form tutors- that first point of pastoral contact- and they might end up feeling like there’s no-one they can go to if they have a problem at school. (I know some kids feel like this anyway, but not having a form tutor or regular teachers can make things feel worse).

In primary schools, it can look like classes being covered by unqualfied TAs. I don’t want to criticise TAs at all, they are amazing BUT they do not have the training a teacher has, and they are paid much less, so usually won’t do planning or marking in the same way- which I don’t think ends up being great for the kids.

Ultimately, teacher shortages are at their very worst in subjects like science and maths, although they are also bad in MFL, Geography and increasingly English. I am not one of those STEM > everything people, but we do need engineers, doctors, HCPs, biomedical scientists, chemists, environmental scientists, and so on. These are the people who build our infrastructure, take care of us when we are ill and develop new treatments, and ultimately make our lives better. If we don’t have good education in these areas, it is a major problem for the country.

Anyway, this is a very long post to say “things are crap in schools right now, and this is why teachers are striking”.

#uk politics #teachers #education #teacher shortage #neu #teacher strike

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harrysballerinahouse · 1 year

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Home

Dadarry, LOT Harryxfem reader

Fluff, little stressy bits

Love on tour is in the last four months of shows.

You had been by Harry’s side every step of the way. Through cancelling shows due to the pandemic to seeing him come alive at Coachella to seeing him cry tears of joy at Maddison Square. You’d been there for all of it highs and lows, ups and downs.

You’d been there for each other marrying in a tiny ceremony in 2020 with only the nearest and dearest present, to carrying your first pregnancy whilst on the road with Harry, to giving birth in a foreign country just to be whisked off to the next stop mere days later separated from your husband due to your inability to fly with a newborn. The final straw was being halfway through your second pregnancy and still being on the road with Harry.

Everything had piled up over the last couple of years. You were ready for a break. Despite your undying love for your husband you needed a break. Deep down you knew Harry did too and you knew he knew this.

Being on the road 24/7 was not the life you wanted for your babies nor was it the life that Harry had envisioned for them but your first positive pregnancy test had appeared a little sooner than expected after stopping your birth control. But both you and Harry were firm believers in taking what ever the world was to throw at your in your stride, which is what you did. A short nine months later your little boy was brought into the world with his Daddy at your side each step of the way.

You could never argue that Harry was an absent father and partner because in truth, he wasn’t. He was just busy providing for his family in a non conventional way and you couldn’t have been prouder of him. So when you told him you were pregnant again you couldn’t help but feel guilty, like you were taking a part of his career from him because you would need him more.

Harry had always reassured you ‘we’ll have a nice long break as a family after the tour’ then he would add more shows or book events or award shows or even acting gigs. You were getting frustrated and your growing belly was not helping the situation.

So when you had gotten your son settled for the night after one of Harry’s shows you couldn’t help but curl up into a ball in the hotel room bed fighting off your own tears and sleep as your husband was showering the night off.

You felt the edge of the bed dip as Harry snuggled up to your wrapping an arm around you running his hand over your belly before placing a chaste kiss to your shoulder “y’wake pet?” He whispers softly to which you nod the tiniest bit “y’ok?” He asks placing another kiss to your shoulder. You simply nod closing your eyes not wanting to have this conversation with Harry now.

You sigh rolling over snuggling closer to Harry his hand moving to rub circles into your lower back. You hum softly not realising how tense your back was. Harry places some soft kisses to your forehead and nose “I love you sweetheart, Y’know if you need to talk I’m here” he whispers causing you to smile a little “I love you too H, thank you” you look up at him before leaning across placing your lips onto his. For a long time even before you knew Harry, you’d struggled with opening up about your emotions in fear that it would mean you’d lose everything but Harry had always been incredibly patient with you, never pushed and was always supportive if you needed time.

Harry tries to pull you closer but your belly bumps his own causing him to chuckle lightly. You smile hearing the chuckle leave his lips. You hadn’t heard it much lately but it was still music to your ears. You eventually drift off in Harry’s arms him doing the same. You only stirred at around 6am the next morning when your son Greyson was babbling for his mummy.

You shuffle out of Harry’s arms and waddle to the cot lifting Greyson from it kissing his cheek “good morning sweet boy” you smile. You quickly change his nappy before placing him into bed next to his father while you went to the bathroom.

On your return you find Harry laying on his back, Greyson laying on his chest, covers up over them to keep the pair warm. "Morning" you whisper shuffling back to bed "M'sorry we woke you" you say softly crawling back in next to Harry. He glances up at you with a tired smile before shaking his head a little "No need to apologise pet, he's almost gone back to sleep".

You rest your head on your pillow just admiring the pair. You couldn't help bit sigh a little knowing in a mere 4 months time you and Harry would likely be overwhelmed with your second baby.

“C’mere” Harry whisper softly pulling you to his chest you ended up falling back to sleep on Harry for a couple of hours before being woken by your crying baby. You groan a little rolling onto your back sitting up picking Greyson up as you do so.

Pulling yourself from the bed to get Greyson something for breakfast must have woken Harry, because a mere two minutes later you were met with a husky voice moving it’s way toward you “why don’ y’ let me do breakfast and y’can shower?” Harry asks in his groggy state. You smirk a little “I stink now do I?” You ask he smirks wrapping his arms around you “not at all, but you deserve a nice long shower without being disturbed” Harry kisses down your neck and across your shoulder causing you to hum.

“Ok, thank you H” you turn in his hold kissing him softly he places his hands on your cheeks drawing you back in for another kiss “not long t’go m’love” Harry says hands moving to rub your belly you smile “still can’t believe we accidentally lined it up with the end of tour” you add wrapping your arms around Harry shoulders “umm about that, Jeff wants to add some more shows around Italy it’ll only add another month or two to tour”

You sigh softly dropping your hands to his chest “H we agreed it was time for a break, that’ll take us past my due date” he nods “I know, I know but I figured it wouldn’t hurt, we could spend the summer in Italy, I’m sure mum could stay longer to help out while I’m working…or we can get a nanny? I haven’t said yes or no yet I want us to talk about it”

You raise your brows at Harry, you had always agreed you’d be present enough to look after your children and not rely on someone else “we’re not getting a nanny Harry. I’ll think about it all?” You ask softly, Harry nods moving to kiss your forehead softly “go on jump in the shower babe, I’ll sort breakfast”.

You nod and head off to the bathroom. You were having the longest uninterrupted shower you'd had since your son had been born, which was soon interupted not by the litle boy but by his father sneaking into the shower behind you. "Breakfast was quick" you comment slowly turning to Harry "He went back to sleep before I could even finish cutting up his fruit".

You giggle smiling to yourself "Just like his Dad with his magic ability to fall asleep anywhere, must be tired, second time he’s gone back to sleep this morning" You say softly as Harry's hands come to rest on your hips, his fingers sporting chipped polish rubbing at your sides. "A'ya really mad about the shows?" he asks in a little voice that you very rarely heard out of your overly confident husband. You shake your head, brows creasing your hands moving to his cheeks.

"Never mad H..." you pause chewing at your bottom lip a little "I just wanted to spend the last few weeks of this pregnancy in our own home, with you and with Greyson before life gets even busier" Harry nods a little not knowing what to say "Don't get me wrong Harry I love being on the road with you and I couldn't be prouder of you if I tried, but I'm exhausted, you can try and hide it but I know you are too"

He sighs looking up at the ceiling before looking back at you with tears in his eyes. "I just don't want to dissapoint anyone" he says with a tremble in his voice. You shake your head "baby your not, you've given everything to this tour, all of the band and crew have, but it's time to go home, not just for us, for Mitch and Sarah, Pauli, Jeff, all of us. You’re allowed to take a break hunny" You reason now trying to hold your own tears back.

Harry looks at you tears brimming his waterline before letting out a chuckle "Ok" he starts "It's time to go home" he whispers smiling a little before pulling you into his chest. You hold each other as close as possible for as long as possible before Harry speaks again. "I don't know how you do it" he adds.

"Do what?" you ask running your hands through his now wet curls. "Know exactly what I'm feeling, M'so fuckin' tired" he mumbles. You couldn't help but giggle a little "I dunno, guess I can just see it sometimes, it's in your eyes" Harry doesn't say a word, just attaches his lips to your own silently telling you he loves you.

You stay snuggled in the shower a little while longer before you could hear Greysons cries coming from the bedroom. "I'll get him" you smile a little pecking Harry's lips and his cheek.

*****

Harry had made it to his last ever LOT goodnight speech. You weren’t sure if you were nervous for your husband, or if your constant need to wee was due to your baby using your bladder as a football.

The show was everything Harry could have hoped for, his family and friends were all here and Greyson had been an absolute dream the entire night going between you, his Grandma Anne and Aunty Gem all night. He even got down and had a little boogie during TPWK trying to copy his Daddy as he did the now world famous ‘boot scoot’.

The crowd had gone quiet as Harry began his speech. you soon found yourself chewing your bottom lip quite early on trying to contain your tears. Anne had wrapped an arm around you and her other around Gemma holding you both as close as possible. It wasn’t until Harry’s own voice broke when he looked towards where you were all standing and simple said “Thank you” that you just let the tears flow.

The crowd erupted in awes and in typical Harry style he made a joke about his emotional state causing it to then be filled with giggles, including one from yourself. You sniffle a little and wipe your eyes with your spare hand as Greyson snuggled his little head of dark hair into your neck. “Y’know sometimes I think if we were any prouder of him we would explode” you say glancing up at Anne who lets out a chuckle. “He was always meant to do amazing things, both my babies were. I often wonder what amazing things my grand babies will do if Harry’s done something as amazing as all this” she says moving her arm to wipe her own eyes.

****

You waited up with Harry after the show the entire band and crew winding down before bump out had to begin, congratulating each other hugs and hand shakes were flowing and a few drinks here and there, you stood back waiting for your husband wanting to give him the space he needed to say thank you to those who made the tour possible.

He soon made his way to his wife and now sleeping son. He smiles at you as he makes his way toward you the metallic fringe of his vest and trousers still attached to his frame. He leans down placing a soft kiss to Greysons hair doing his best not to wake him before his left hand comes to rest on your belly leaning down to peck it lightly, then coming up to your lip.

Harry kisses you with a similar amount of passion and love as he did on your wedding day when he eventually pulls away you sigh softly before opening your eyes “I’m so incredibly proud of you Harry, we all are” he simply smiles resting his forehead to yours “Thank you baby” he whispers holding you close to his chest.

Harry went back to mingling a little, Greyson now in his arms, he went around chatting to some of the crew and thanking then. You wait patiently with Harry’s family watching him make his rounds with your son in his arms, you couldn’t help but smile at how lucky you were to have such an amazing husband and son. Eventually Harry makes his way back to you planting a kiss to your temple.

Greyson had woken up and was playing with the fringe of his Daddy’s vest. “Y’up for a walk pet?” He asks softly. You look up at him and nod “of course H” he takes your hand with his spare one heading towards his dressing room getting himself changed before taking you both in the direction of the stage.

You smile listening and watching them interact, it was something you were really looking forward to more of. Once you make it out onto the stage with Harry he puts Greyson on his feet and holds his hand instead. You catch up with the pair sneaking your hand into Harry’s free one giving it a squeeze.

After a few minutes you glance up at Harry smiling a little. “Y’know, I’ve always admired you for doing this Harry, Greysons so lucky to have such an amazing Daddy” you say wrapping your arms around him.

He sniffles lightly placing a kiss to your hair “couldn’t do it without my wife” he smiles before letting go of Greysons hand the little boy crawling around playing with the pieces of feather boa that had blown up onto the stage. Harry pulls away from you a little and cups your cheeks in his hand “really m’love, mean it, there’s no way I could do any of this without you….thank you so so much” he whimpers tears streaming down his face again.

Harry’s emotions had caught up with him not just from this show but from the last two years. It wasn’t long before Greyson was fussing at your feet causing Harry to chuckle a little sniffling again. He leans down picking Greyson up resting him on his hip. “I’m sorry baby it’s well past your bedtime” Harry apologises to his son kissing his nose causing Greyson to squeal excitedly hiding his face in Harry’s neck, Harry breaks into that grin of overwhelming pride rubbing Greysons back, “I love you little man” he whispers kissing his forehead before turning his attention back to you.

“And I love you” he smiles kissing you softly. You giggle a little in his hold “I love you Harry, more and more everyday” you say softly causing Harry to smile. He rests his forehead to yours “let’s go home” he whispers, you smile and hum against “this is home H, you, Greyson and baby, that’s home” you say softly before leaning up to kiss Harry again.

Harry kisses back pulling you closer to his chest he eventually slowly pulls away when your little boy starts poking at his cheek causing Harry to chuckle “ok maybe we should get home and put this cheeky monkey to bed” you giggle leaning up to kiss Greysons cheek. Harry chuckles “good idea love”. He turns a little holding his hand out for you to take.

You intertwine your fingers with Harry and begin walking back inside towards the waiting cars, towards your future as a family, towards your home.

#daddy harry styles #harry styles #harry #harry fluff #one direction #harrystyles harrystylesimagines #harry fic #harrystyles harryimagines #harry styles lot #harry love on tour #love on tour #harry fanfic #harry styles love on tour #harrys house

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debbiechanclub · 1 year

Text

Hit Me Like Bang (and Now I'm Never Looking Back), Part 2

A "Take My Hands, Wreck My Plans" fic

Pairings: David Finlay x OFC / past!Jay White x OFC Word Count: 11k Warnings: Language; alcohol use; radioactive levels of angst but also fluff; and a little smidge of smut so 18+

On the road to Dominion, Nellie's past and present converge to solidify the truth of what's been in front of her all along.

TMHWMP Timeline | Masterlist

Read it on AO3

A/N: Herein is the end of Nellie's story, and I am emotional :') Don't worry―there are more prequels forthcoming that will go more into her previous relationships and how she got here, but this is her happy ending.

One small note: there's quite a bit of flashback scenes in this chapter, and they're not in chronological order to each other, so pay attention to the dates. That said, this fic and Nellie truly are my baby, and thank you for coming on this two-plus-year journey with me. I hope you enjoy reading her story just as much as I've enjoyed creating it for you <3

tags: @aussiearrow @cowboyslariat @knifepervert @sldghmmr @cardblade @missbrownstone @meteora-fc @bec0m @thatgirlforever5 @rocca09 @aussiespam

Friday, April 14, 2023 Tokyo, Japan

It took about seven minutes bell-to-bell for Nellie to dispose of Mariah May in their title match at Korakuen Hall. She hadn’t even broken a sweat. But she’d anticipated short work. She’d already planned to make up for it in her backstage comments.

“Alright, I’ll make sure this is short and sweet just like that match,” she started as she stepped in front of the camera. “Do you see this title?” She held up the championship in her hand. “I have been the SWA World Champion since May fifth of last year. Twenty-twenty-two. That is three hundred and forty-five days, just twenty days short of an entire year. And no one here at World Wonder Ring Stardom seems to give a shit about it, or the verifiable fact that I am the only person in history to hold this title more than once!

“But here’s the thing: I know exactly why they don’t care. Because I’m a gaijin. Never mind that I’ve been dedicated to this company since twenty-eighteen; that I’ve lived in Japan for over three years, through a fucking pandemic; that I’ve learned the language. Apparently, none of that matters, because I’m still not from here. I’m still an outsider. And God forbid a gaijin become the face of Stardom, so what do they do? They hold me in place with this title that they clearly don’t give a shit about and allow me to defend it once a quarter. And Mariah May?” She scoffed. “Do you know how many times I’ve already beaten Mariah in title matches? Tonight makes three, and the other two were in her home country for the RevPro Undisputed British Women’s Championship. So please, someone enlighten me: if Mariah May couldn’t get it done against me in her home country, why the fuck did anyone think she stood a chance against me here, in Korakuen of all places? I might be from Philly, but Tokyo is my home. Stardom is my home. The Stardom dojo beat me down, built me back up, and turned me into the joshi I am today, and in return I made history. And I refuse to be held in place any longer.

“Saya Kamitani. You’ve made history, too. We have history. Because see, everyone associates you with Hayashishita-san and me with Torrance—but you and I were partners first. We were Goddess of Stardom champions together. We’re both champions now. And at All Star Grand Queendom, I want you in a winner takes all match for my SWA World Championship, and your Wonder of Stardom Championship. And it’ll be a gaijin from Philadelphia who puts an end to your history-making reign.”

And with that she walked off camera, the gauntlet thrown.

* * * *

Sunday, October 30, 2022 Tokyo, Japan

Nellie was in good spirits. She was fresh off defending her SWA World Championship against Mayu Iwatani in New York City. Halloween was tomorrow, and David had come over for a horror movie marathon. He’d brought takeout from her favorite sushi place and a six-pack of Sapporo. She intended to tell him how she felt. And she couldn’t have been more nervous.

“Is everything alright?” he casually asked. “It seems like something’s on your mind.”

She brought her feet up to sit cross-legged on the couch and pulled her soft checkered fleece blanket over her lap. Of course he could tell something was on her mind—it was David. He paid attention. He was perceptive; emotionally mature. It was one of the many, many things that drew her to him, something that set him apart from most guys she’d been involved with in the past. And now, after her few days away, she knew for certain.

“Yeah… I, um,” she started. “I just guess I realized something when I was in New York.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Well,” she stalled, nervous. But there was no turning back now—and she didn’t want to. “I went out with a few people after the show, and… Kyle Fletcher kissed me. But all it did was make me realize that I have feelings for someone else.”

David wasn’t looking at her as she said it, queuing up the first movie on her TV. And Nellie quickly started to overthink, worried that maybe he’d focus on the fact that Kyle had kissed her and not what she was trying to tell him—

But then the corner of his mouth quirked up. “Oh, yeah? Who’s the lucky guy?”

He glanced at her as he set down the remote. She pursed her lips at him. “Are you seriously gonna make me say it?”

“I kind of want you to, yeah.”

She bit back a grin. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she worried he could hear it. “Well… I don’t know how he feels, so I’m kind of nervous to.”

“Well, let me clear things up for you, then…” David said, and he pulled her in and kissed her. Nellie melted into him. His lips were soft, his kiss slow and sweet, and the way he cradled her head in his hands felt natural, as if they’d done this a thousand times before. And she already knew she wanted to do it a thousand times more.

He pulled back from her lips but still held her close. “I’ve been wanting to do that for the last three months,” he said.

She grinned. “You have?”

“Yeah. And since we’re talking about it… I wasn’t sure how you felt. Sometimes it seemed like you were still hung up on Jay.”

Nellie sighed and leaned back into the couch. Admittedly, he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“Honestly, at the start of the summer, I was still hung up on him. And I think it was because I never got any definite closure when we broke up, and so when he showed up out of nowhere at Dontaku it did feel like there was still something there between us. And he made it seem like there was, too, which didn’t help at all. But then you came back for the G1, and we reconnected, and genuinely—you’ve put in more effort over the last three months than Jay ever put into our entire relationship. And that really put things into perspective for me. But then it was complicated, too, because I know how close you and Jay used to be, and sometimes I worried that getting involved with you after him would look… I don’t know… messy? As stupid as that sounds.”

“No, I get it,” David nodded. “No matter how you and Jay left things, there was a point in time when you cared about him, so of course you wouldn’t want to throw salt in a wound. I mean, there was a point in time when I cared about him, too; he was my best friend. But it’s not like you and Jay just broke up, and he and I aren’t as close as we used to be, either.” He reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear; Nellie’s skin tingled at his touch. “Besides… technically I went out with you first, anyway.”

She mirrored his grin. He wasn’t wrong about that, either. David had gone out with her first, on an awkward date back in 2017, the first time Nellie had ever set foot in Japan. Back before she’d met Zack, or Riley, or Kyle, or ever gotten involved with Jay—David had been first. But she hadn’t seen it then.

“Not technically—you did,” she confirmed. “And lately I’ve wondered how different things would be if I’d given you a chance back then.”

“Nah,” he returned with a shake of his head. “I was a clown back then; I don’t blame you for not giving me a chance. Plus, I’ve come to believe that everything meaningful happens when it’s supposed to.” He smiled to himself. “I was actually planning on telling you how I felt tonight. But you beat me to it.”

Nellie’s smile widened. “Oh yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah. So, I guess I owe Kyle Fletcher a beer for kissing you and helping you figure shit out.”

“Ha!” she laughed, and he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, and she snuggled into him, moving the blanket so that he was underneath it, too. It felt right—a perfect fit. And as David pressed play on the first movie, Nellie knew in her heart that this was when it was all supposed to fall into place, and not a moment sooner.

* * * *

“God, you are a sight for sore eyes.”

Nellie smiled at David through her phone screen. It was only a few days ago that he’d left, and he’d only be gone a few days more, working Capital Collision in Washington, D.C., and then Collision in Philadelphia before flying right back to Tokyo—to her. But Nellie already felt the ache of his absence.

“You have no idea how bad I wish you were here right now.” She settled back into her bed pillows, getting comfortable. “I have some pent-up energy that could really use working out.”

David grinned, crooked and handsome. It didn’t help her situation. “I know you do. I just watched your backstage comments.”

She waited, expecting him to say something more, wanting him to. After all, his opinion was the one that mattered most to her. “And?” she impatiently pressed.

“And it took everything in me not to share the video wherever I could,” he said. “I’m proud of you, babe. You already deserved that match; I don’t see how they can’t give it to you now.”

The ache in Nellie’s core deepened. But so did the warmth in her heart. “Thanks, babe. I’m hoping it’ll be official by tomorrow, but… we’ll see.”

“Do you have a match tomorrow?”

She laughed shortly to herself; the expression on her face said it all. “Yeah… a best two out of three falls eight-woman tag match. Me, Tam, Poi, and Mina against Donna del Mondo. It’s the main event.”

“Shit,” David commented before she’d even finished. “That’s gonna be charged.”

“Tell me about it,” she lowly returned. And then, “Thekla thinks I should take the opportunity to leave Cosmic Angels.”

“I was just about to say. It’s the perfect opportunity, isn’t it?”

She drew in a hesitant breath. “Potentially? Actually, if the Cosmic Angels-Club Venus shit finally hits the fan like I expect it to, it probably will be the perfect opportunity. I could just say they’re too dysfunctional and walk out. That’s exactly how I left Queen’s Quest.”

“Then I say do it,” David returned. “You’d be better served somewhere other than Cosmic Angels, I know you would. You know you would.”

“I do know I would,” she agreed. “I’m just… I don’t know. Worried about hurting people’s feelings even though I know I shouldn’t be.”

“Torrance will be fine,” David dismissed; it went without saying that she meant her. “She has Mariah and Mina.”

“No shit,” Nellie breathed. “They’re three peas in a pod these days. Which doesn’t really surprise me… Torr and Mariah are basically the same person in slightly different fonts.” David laughed at that. “Well, it’s true!” she doubled down.

“No, it is,” he nodded. “But I could always just say you’re Bullet Club, too. I’m sure that would get the point across to Tam.”

A grin spread over Nellie’s face. It felt inevitable that she would be Bullet Club, and sooner rather than later. But he’d reminded her. “Speaking of Bullet Club, are you gonna tell me who Riley’s replacement is yet?”

He smirked and shook his head. “No. That’s privileged information.”

Her eyebrows arched. “And I’m not privileged to it? I’m your girlfriend!”

“You’ll find out tomorrow,” he assured her. “Don’t worry—it’s someone you like. I can’t have anyone in Bullet Club who doesn’t get along with my girl.”

“Well, there’s some people you need to kick out, then,” she returned—just as she heard a knock-knock-knock on the front door of her apartment. She glanced toward the sound in confusion. David noticed.

“What?”

“Someone just knocked on my door.”

He looked confused then. “Isn’t it almost 10 p.m. there?” he asked. But Nellie was already pulling up the live feed from her video doorbell—and she saw a familiar figure.

“It’s Torr.” She sighed. Something told her she wasn’t just dropping by.

“I guess you should go, then,” David figured. Nellie’s brow furrowed.

“Probably. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize,” he gently said. “I should probably get going myself, and you two are overdue for a talk.”

“Yeah… because I don’t want to have it,” she muttered.

David smirked. “Go, babe. I’ll talk to you later.”

She pouted. “Okay. See you soon,” she returned—and before they disconnected, she almost said it. I love you. She knew she did. But she wanted the first time she told him to be in person.

She left her phone in her bedroom and padded down the hall to the front door. She unlocked and opened it just as Torrance was getting ready to knock again. She quickly put her hand down, almost as if she was surprised Nellie had answered.

“Hey.” Torrance took in her appearance—pajamas on, makeup off. Her brow furrowed. “You weren’t in bed, were you?”

“Well, technically,” Nellie returned. “But I was talking with David.”

Torrance’s frown deepened. “Oh. I’m sorry, I should have texted—”

“No, it’s fine,” Nellie dismissed, and she opened the door wider so she could come inside. Torrance hesitated for a beat before she crossed the threshold. It was odd. They both had keys to each other’s apartments; it used to be that Torrance would just let herself in without so much as a knock. But a lot had changed over the last three months.

“What’s up?” Nellie asked as she shut the door. She noticed that Torrance was dressed for a night out in a shiny pink miniskirt and white bustier tank top, her hair and makeup done to perfection. And again, Torrance hesitated.

“Um, well,” she started with a bit of a nervous laugh. “I actually came over here to ask if you wanted to come out with us, but—”

“Who’s ‘us’?”

Torrance bit her lip. “Me, Mariah, and Mina.”

Nellie couldn’t help her laugh. “You’re joking, right?”

Torrance’s expression turned stony. “No, actually, I’m not.”

“Torr,” Nellie breathed out. “Come on. I literally just beat Mariah in a title match and then talked shit about her, you really think either of us want to hang out with each other?”

“Well, Mariah’s willing to put that aside because she knows you’re my best friend,” Torrance returned. She looked down at her hands. “And I feel like we’ve barely seen each other since… well, since the Triangle Derby started.”

So, since Club Venus became a thing, Nellie wanted to say. But she figured it wouldn’t help. “Because we haven’t,” she regretfully returned. “But it’s not intentional. You’ve just been doing your thing with Mariah and Mina, and I’ve been doing mine with Tam and Poi. Or I was. And I know I sort of went off into my own little world when David came back, so…”

Torrance looked back up at her. “Yeah, so are you and him…?”

“Together? Officially?” Nellie finished. “Yeah, we are,” she confirmed, and the mood lightened a bit. Torrance smiled.

“Took long enough.”

Nellie breathed a laugh. “I know. But I think it happened right when it was supposed to.”

“No, I think so, too,” Torrance agreed. “He’s good for you, I can tell. You’ve carried yourself differently ever since he came back; more confident.”

“Thanks,” Nellie genuinely returned. She’d noticed that change in herself, too. David was good for her. He was good to her. And she wasn’t the only one who’d changed. “You’ve been more confident with Club Venus, too.”

Torrance looked down again, the corners of her mouth turned up, almost as if she was bashful to hear that Nellie had noticed. “Yeah, they’ve really helped me come into my own. Mina really pushes me. And I don’t know… it just feels like we’re all on equal footing.”

Nellie nodded in understanding. “Unlike when we were a tag team?”

Torrance frowned again. “I wasn’t trying to imply—”

“No, I get it,” Nellie assured her. And she did get it. After she and Torrance had won the 2021 Goddesses of Stardom Tag League, throughout their entire reign as Goddess of Stardom Champions, people had said that Nellie carried Torrance. That Nellie was the better wrestler, that Torrance would never be champion without her. So, it was no wonder Torrance felt more confident with Mariah and Mina. People weren’t comparing her to them; instead, they were acknowledging how much she’d improved. And as much as Nellie didn’t care for Club Venus, she still wanted the best for Torrance.

“And for what it’s worth, I never felt like I was carrying our team,” she told her. “I should have told you that back then. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“No, I know you never felt that way,” Torrance returned, and nothing else needed to be said. She and Nellie understood each other. They always had.

“But… I guess I can’t persuade you to get dressed and come out with us?” she added.

Nellie shook her head. “Not a chance.”

Torrance nodded. “It was worth a shot.” She started for the door. “Well, sorry for interrupting your call with your man.” She stopped. “I didn’t interrupt… something, did I?”

Nellie let out a laugh. “No, it wasn’t one of those calls. He’ll be back Tuesday; I think I can manage ‘til then.”

“Tuesday?” Torrance noted. “Okay, I’ll be sure to steer clear of here that whole day.”

She let herself out, and Nellie told her to have a glass of water for every drink—she had to work tomorrow. And as Torrance waved goodbye and Nellie shut the door, she knew that neither of them were the same people anymore. They’d grown. Professionally, apart. But not in their hearts.

* * * *

Sunday, November 20, 2022 NJPW/Stardom Historic X-Over – Tokyo, Japan

If anyone was surprised at how well Cosmic Queendom and Aussie Open worked together in the ring, it wasn’t Nellie, Torrance, Kyle, or Mark. It felt like they’d been teaming together for years, and the deeper they got into the match against Los Ingobernables de Japon and Fukuoka Double Crazy, the more Nellie knew they were creating something special for fans of NJPW and Stardom alike. But it wasn’t all serious. Nellie couldn’t help but mess with Sanada and Naito a bit—a callback to her days in Suzuki-gun with Zack. In the end, it was Torrance who got the pin over Koguma after she and Nellie surprised Mark and Kyle by doing Coriolis. And when their arms were raised in victory, Nellie almost wished that she and Torrance had joined United Empire like they’d half-joked about a year ago.

Almost.

More members of United Empire greeted them as they returned backstage; Jeff Cobb, Great O-Khan, and Aaron Henare’s match against Kazuchika Okada, Toru Yano, and Great Muta was next. Mark and Kyle exchanged “Crowns Up” with all their teammates—and then Jeff looked expectantly at Nellie.

“Come on, you know you want to,” he tempted, wiggling his hands at her.

“Fine; but only for you,” she reluctantly gave in, and she made a crown with her hands and touched her fingers to his.

“I don’t know,” Jeff teased, his voice raising leadingly. “After seeing that Coriolis, I think there’s definitely a spot for Cosmic Queendom in the Empire.”

“Ha!” Torrance bluntly dismissed. Jeff pressed his mouth into a line.

“Okay, maybe just a spot for Nellie, then.”

“Yeah, how long have you two been planning that?” Mark asked, tactfully shifting the focus away from the ghost of Torrance and Will’s relationship. Thank God Will was elsewhere.

“Not long; we only just thought of trying it a few days ago,” Nellie said. “You’re not upset we did it?”

She looked hesitantly between Mark and Kyle, but they both quickly shook their heads. “Hell no, it was perfect,” Kyle assured, and Nellie smiled. They’d talked everything out that night he’d kissed her three weeks ago in New York City, and there wasn’t any awkwardness at all between them. They’d had a fling a year ago that just hadn’t panned out, and that was that. They were just friends. Easy.

“Well, thanks,” she said. “But Torr and I are kind of a package deal, so if she’s not in, I’m not, either. Sorry, Jeff.”

“A package deal?” O-Khan slyly asked. Torrance’s eyes widened.

“Not that kind of package deal!” she proclaimed. And then, more under her breath, “Not that anyone hasn’t asked me that before, but.”

Nellie whipped her head around at her. “Wait, what?”

“Yes, please share with the class,” Jeff eagerly added, propping his chin on his fist. But O-Khan’s entrance music started to play and inadvertently gave Torrance the perfect out from answering.

“Good luck!” she said, and the guys all groaned and booed after them as she and Nellie left. Nellie could tell by Torrance’s clipping pace that she was keyed up.

“You alright?”

“I need to get out of here and get a drink,” she returned. “How many more matches are there?”

“Um,” Nellie thought about it for a second. “Three, I think? But that reminds me—Gabe invited us out with the LA Dojo guys. I told him I wasn’t sure if you had anything in mind already and would let him know.” She shrugged. “I don’t know, it could be fun. Although that Clark guy seems like he might be trouble.”

“I don’t have anything in mind,” Torrance returned. “And honestly, I’m up for a bit of trouble.”

And that was how, later that night, they found themselves at a dive bar in Roppongi with Gabriel Kidd, Clark Connors, and Alex Coughlin. There had been more people with them at the outset, but one by one they’d dropped off bar after bar and called it a night. But not Nellie and Torrance. They were both familiar with Gabe from his time as a Young Lion, although they hadn’t seen him in a year-and-a-half. As for Clark and Alex, the girls barely knew either of them—but the guys seemed very keen on changing that.

“How the hell is it we haven’t hung out before tonight?” Clark asked Nellie, turning toward her as they sat together at the bar. “I know you were around when I was here in twenty-nineteen.”

“Probably because I was around, but I wasn’t living here yet,” she explained. “I moved here in twenty-twenty, right before everything shut down.”

“Yeah, Nell and I were in that same shitty boat,” Gabe said. “At least you weren’t stuck quarantined in fucking dojo housing.”

She snorted through her nose. “No, I was just stuck quarantined with my ex.”

“No shit!” Clark exclaimed. “Who’s that?”

“Jesus, Clark, mind your business!” Alex shot, his New York accent becoming even more pronounced. Torrance chuckled beside him.

“It’s fine,” Nellie dismissed with a wave of her hand. “It was Zack. Sabre Jr.,” she added, as if there was another pro wrestler named Zack living in Japan.

“Oh shit, you were with ZSJ, weren’t you?” Clark realized. “Actually, now that you mention it, I remember working a RevPro show with you, him, and Suzuki a few years back. Both of y’all were there too,” he said to Alex and Gabe.

They both nodded. “Yeah, bruv, I know exactly what show you’re talking about,” Gabe confirmed. “And clearly Nellie has a thing for Brits, so we should switch spots.”

Clark flipped him off. “You want another drink?” he asked Nellie.

“Nah, I’ll get it,” Gabe said, already flagging down the bartender.

“How about I get us all the next round?” Alex interjected. “You two are embarrassing yourselves.”

Clark and Gabe both let Alex know exactly what they thought of that, and Nellie took the opportunity to slide off her barstool. “Well, while you guys figure it out, I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”

“I’ll go with you,” Torrance said.

“It’s a one-stall bathroom,” Clark pointed out.

“Well, good thing I’m going just so we can talk about the three of you, then,” she sweetly returned, and Nellie laughed at the look on Clark’s face as they both walked away.

“Looks like you have your pick of Clark and Gabe tonight,” Torrance smirked once they were out of earshot. Nellie genially rolled her eyes.

“Come on… you know I’m not available.”

“Yeah, I know,” Torrance started—and Nellie could sense it coming.

“But?”

“But,” she went on. “As much as I want things to work out with you and David, you’ve already spent enough time waiting on guys, Nell. More than enough, more than you ever should have. I mean, speaking of Zack—he’s literally the only guy since I’ve known you who didn’t leave you in some sort of limbo.”

Nellie’s eyebrows arched. “Jesus, when you put it like that.” She tried the restroom door handle as they arrived, but it was occupied, and so they both leaned back against the wall on either side of the hall to wait.

“I’m just being honest,” Torrance returned.

“No, I know,” Nellie breathed; and, admittedly, Torrance did have a point.

David had left Japan less than a week after he and Nellie had finally told each other how they felt; and with no timetable for when he’d be back, they’d made the mutual decision not to put a label on anything. “That would make me no better than Jay, and I refuse to do that to you,” David had said. But it didn’t dishearten Nellie. Instead, it emboldened her. Because, to her, it confirmed that what she and David had wasn’t conditional. It was real.

“And I get what you’re saying, I do,” she told Torrance. “But it doesn’t feel like I’m in a limbo this time, Torr, and I can’t explain it other than to say I just have this deep-seated feeling in my soul that David and I have something real that’s worth waiting for. I mean, we’ve talked every single day since he left, and I sure as shit couldn’t say that about Jay when he was stuck in the States, and we were actually in a relationship.”

“I know,” Torrance nodded. “David’s a good guy, and I have a lot more faith in him than most, I do. But I’m just saying… I’ll still kick his ass if I have to.”

Nellie grinned. “I know you will. But I’m telling you you won’t.” The restroom door opened, and a woman smiled and bowed her head at them as she exited. “You go ahead,” Nellie offered Torrance.

“Okay, cool; turns out I do have to go,” she said, and she ducked inside and locked the door behind her as Nellie fished her phone out of her small crossbody bag. The clock widget on her home screen informed her it was after 10 a.m. on the East Coast of the U.S., but David was in Los Angeles filming an episode of NJPW Strong; ironically, he had an eight-man tag match against a team that included Jay and Riley. But she decided to text him, anyway. Even if he wasn’t up, he’d get back to her when he was.

She pulled up their text chain and smiled seeing their messages from just a few hours ago; he’d gotten up in the middle of the night to watch her and Torrance’s Historic X-Over match live. Torr and I are out with the LA Dojo guys, she wrote. I’m having fun, but it’s also just making me miss you.

She sent it off and switched over to Instagram, not expecting a reply. But then David’s name popped up on her screen.

Are you? They’re good guys, don’t let their antics fool you. And I miss you too, every day.

Butterflies. Meaningful ones.

They exchanged a few more texts before Torrance emerged from the bathroom, and Nellie told him she’d let him go to start his day. Okay, let me know when you make it back home, he wrote back. You know I’ll start to worry if I don’t hear from you.

I know, she returned, and she sent it off with a kissy face emoji. Because even though there wasn’t a label on her and David’s relationship, in every other way, every way that mattered, they were together.

* * * *

Sunday, April 23, 2023 Stardom All Star Grand Queendom – Yokohama, Japan

Doggedness and determination. That’s what Nellie was running on by the end of the winner takes all match against Saya Kamitani.

She’d been prepared, thoroughly. But as well as Nellie knew Saya, she wasn’t used to being opposite her, at least not one-on-one, and she realized early on that she couldn’t afford a single misstep. But the reverse was also true—and unlike Nellie, Saya had nothing to gain or prove. She’d surpassed the record set by Momo Watanabe for defenses of the Wonder of Stardom Championship, eclipsed Kairi by more than one hundred days to become the white belt’s second-longest reigning champion, her position as one of Stardom’s best and brightest secure. She had nothing to fight for outside maintaining the status quo.

But Nellie had everything to gain, everything to prove, everything to fight for. Despite being a long-tenured champion herself, despite being the older and more experienced wrestler of the two, she was decidedly the underdog. That was her motivation, her drive, her fire. And by the halfway point, there were more people cheering for Nellie in Saya’s hometown crowd than there had been at the opening bell. If she lost, at least she would have that.

But she won.

She knew she’d done it as soon as she hit her new finisher, a variation on a lifting reverse STO that she’d worked out with David and dubbed the Wit Hit. (“As in a cheesesteak wit onion, not as in like, a quick wit,” she’d explained. “Honestly, it works either way,” he’d smirked.) And when she hooked Saya’s leg and felt the referee count one, two, three, she knew she’d earned the crowd’s respect.

And she had Saya’s, too. All along.

As Nellie stood with tears in her eyes and the winner’s trophy in her hands, Saya fastened the Wonder of Stardom Championship around her waist. And after she raised her arm in victory, she pulled her into a hug and told her in Japanese, “You are always welcome in Queen’s Quest, Nellie-san.”

Nellie hadn’t expected it. It gave her even more to think about.

But she’d worry about that later. Right now, her priority was setting her intention as the new Wonder of Stardom Champion.

“What did I say?” she started as she stepped in front of the backstage camera; sweaty and worn, laden with gold. “I said I would end Saya Kamitani’s history-making reign, and that’s exactly what I did. And now a gaijin from Philadelphia is the 9th SWA World Champion and the 17th Wonder of Stardom Champion—and I intend to be a fighting champion.” She shook her head. “No more going five months without a defense. No more being placated and overlooked. Whoever wants a shot at either of my titles, just say the word. Kamitani-san had fifteen defenses of this championship? I want sixteen. Seventeen, eighteen, more. So whoever wants to try to take it from me, let Rossy know. He can’t ignore me now.”

She stopped to draw in a breath, collecting herself before she went on. “And now that I have proven just how un-ignorable I am, how much of an asset I am to this company, there’s another piece of business I need to address. For an entire week now people have been asking me nonstop backstage, online, stopping me out in the street—Who are you with, Nellie? Are you with Cosmic Angels or Club Venus? And frankly? The answer is neither.

“Tam and Poi, you welcomed me into Cosmic Angels without question. You gave me a place when I was suddenly without one, and I’ll never take that for granted. Torr and I won the Goddess titles with your backing, I won this SWA title for a history-making second time with your backing, the three of us nearly went the distance in the Triangle Derby. But despite all that success, we all knew I was something of a black sheep in your colorful, kawaii flock. It was like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, and what happened? I wore myself down to try to fit.” She shook her head again. “Not anymore. My edge is back—and with all due respect, I’ve outgrown Cosmic Angels. And with no due respect, I’m sure as shit not joining Club Venus.”

She adjusted the SWA title on her shoulder. She was exhausted, and it was getting heavier by the minute. “But even though I know at the end of the day I can only really rely on me, myself, and I, I’m not really into the whole lone wolf thing, either. I recognize that there’s strength in numbers, and I’ll be taking my time to consider my next move. But for now, I’m gonna go put all this down because it’s fucking heavy, and then I’m gonna crack open a Sapporo and celebrate the sweet, sweet return of Two-Belt Nell.”

* * * *

Wednesday, May 3, 2023 Wrestling Dontaku – Fukuoka, Japan

The Stardom bus arrived at the Fukuoka International Center fifteen minutes before bell time. They’d had a show earlier that afternoon in Shimonoseki, and with Stardom running a pay-per-view in Fukuoka tomorrow, they’d loaded up and made the hour-and-a-half trip down for the NJPW show there that evening. And as soon as she could, Nellie shot off the bus like a bullet.

David had been back in Japan for two weeks, but Nellie had only gotten to spend a handful of hours with him. He’d arrived in Tokyo only to turn around and leave for the Road to Dontaku tour, and their schedules had kept them apart in separate corners of the country. And because of that, Nellie still hadn’t said those three little-big words.

They’d been on the tip of her tongue the day he’d come back. She’d felt them in the way he’d touched her, looked at her, in every breath during that abbreviated time they’d spent together before he had to leave to get on the bus. But she hadn’t wanted to say it only for him to be physically absent again. If she was going to tell him she loved him, she needed to feel it, live in it for longer than just a few hours.

And tonight, the timing was finally right.

She made a beeline for his dressing room, pausing impatiently when she ran into Aussie Open, and they both hugged her and congratulated her on winning the Wonder of Stardom Championship before she took off again. She knocked on the door when she arrived, and David called for her to come in. Her heart melted at the sight of his smile.

“Finally,” he breathed, and then his lips were on hers. Hungry, eager, heated, as if it had been two months instead of just two weeks.

But then Nellie had a thought. “Are you sharing this room with Kenta?” she quickly asked. She hadn’t noticed any other luggage around, but she hadn’t really looked, either.

David shook his head, a smirk on his lips. “Not tonight. We have this all to ourselves.”

That was all the information she needed. She pushed him down onto a seat and straddled his lap, and then they were the only two people in the entire arena again. David ignited her entire being in a way that no one ever had, mind, body, soul—heart. And before they lost themselves in each other, she needed to tell him.

She pulled back and looked down at him. His eyes were dark and hooded, full of desire. “What?” he softly asked.

“I love you.”

Nellie knew he felt the same, she knew he did—but there was still that anxious knot in her gut. Until a smile spread over David’s face.

“I was wondering when you’d finally say it.”

She let go of the breath she’d been holding. “Are you serious right—”

He silenced her with a kiss, and she melted into him like she always did. She loved him; he loved her. It was undeniable.

He pulled back, their lips still close, noses brushing. “I love you, too. I have since the fall.”

Butterflies exploded in Nellie’s stomach. “You have?”

“Mhm,” he nodded. “I spent that entire tour last year falling in love with you, and when I left Japan, it felt like I’d left part of myself behind. And then the night of Historic X-Over, when you called me after you got home from being out with the LA Dojo guys… I knew.”

Nellie’s smile lit up her entire face, her entire being. “I was drunk when I called you that night,” she remembered.

“Yeah, I know you were,” David grinned. “Which reminds me, I have to tell Clark he can’t take my girlfriend out and ply her with alcohol anymore.”

She laughed. “But it would just be a little Bullet Club bonding,” she innocently returned. It made him arch a brow.

“You saying you’re Bullet Club? Is that what I’m hearing?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know… that’s kind of up to you.”

He drew her closer on his lap. “It would be nice to have you out there with me when I win the title tonight…”

He trailed off and kissed her neck. She bit back a grin. “I don’t want to stir the pot just yet. I just won the Wonder of Stardom title; it probably wouldn’t be the best idea to ruffle any company feathers.”

David hummed against her skin. “Mm… yeah, you’re not ready. That’s not something someone in Bullet Club would say.”

Nellie playfully rolled her eyes. But he pulled her mouth against his again, and they let their bodies finish the conversation.

* * * *

Sunday, June 12, 2022 Osaka, Japan

For the longest time, this was all Nellie had wanted. To feel Jay again. To feel wanted by him again. And now that she’d finally gotten it, all she felt was uncertainty. Still.

She lay next to him in his hotel room, facing the other way, listening to him breathe. In and out, steady. Last night had been an intoxicating blur of adrenaline and emotion. She blamed Osaka, the romance of a different setting, the context of why they were there. Stardom and NJPW both had shows in the city; Jay had a match against Okada for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship at Dominion that night. And last night, Nellie had felt like her body was a prize for Jay just as much as that title. Something for him to win, to take. Part of her regretted letting him have it. But another part of her still yearned to belong to him.

She felt him stir beside her, and then he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her back against his chest. She closed her eyes and folded into him.

“Mm,” he hummed. “I missed this.”

He pressed his lips against her neck, and Nellie let him. But she couldn’t keep from asking.

“Did you?”

“Of course,” he easily returned. Almost as if he’d expected her to question him, as if he’d had the answer at the ready that he knew she wanted to hear. But then his mouth was working down her body, his lips leaving a trail of goosebumps over her skin, until his head was between her legs and his tongue inside her. And she gave into him, writhing and arching her back, curling her fingers in his hair until she came undone. And all the while, she didn’t stop questioning.

He kissed his way back up to her lips, his naked body hovering over her. His cock pressed hard against her inner thigh. She wanted it. She hated that she did. But she wanted him.

“Let’s get in the shower,” he breathed. And she let him pull her from the bed and lead her into the shower where he had her again, her back pressed up against the wet tile, legs wrapped tight around his waist as her nails left tiny moon-shaped marks on his shoulders. Because even though Nellie knew it wouldn’t last, that Jay would just be gone again come tomorrow, she wanted to pretend he was hers for just a little while longer.

* * * *

Saturday, May 27, 2023 Stardom Flashing Champions – Tokyo, Japan

Two defenses in just over a month. Nellie had said she’d wanted to be a fighting champion, and her challengers had quickly formed a line.

Natsupoi had been first, eager and determined. Nellie bested her in a main event twenty-minute battle in Fukuoka the night after David won the NEVER Openweight Championship. Tonight, it was Unagi Sayaka, defeated in just over fifteen minutes. Nellie wasn’t surprised that her former teammates had been the first to step up. They wanted to defend the honor of Cosmic Angels in the wake of her departure, even if there wasn’t any bad blood. But their efforts had fallen short—and Nellie was still an island unto herself. She was biding her time, weighing her options between Donna del Mondo and Queen’s Quest. This time around, the ball was in her court; she wasn’t going to fumble it.

She returned to the locker room after making her backstage comments and automatically checked her phone. David was flying in tomorrow after being back in the States for the last three weeks and change, returning early to spend time with her before Dominion and the next Stardom tour. She smiled when she saw she had a text from him.

Two down, fourteen to go. Proud of you, babe. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow isn’t soon enough, she returned with a kissy face emoji.

But David wasn’t the only one who’d texted her. So had Clark.

Congrats, champ. We’re going out to celebrate, right?

Her brow furrowed. Who’s we? she sent back. She and Clark were friends, but he could get too friendly sometimes.

His response came quick. You, me, and your Stardom friends. The hot single ones.

She rolled her eyes, but her phone pinged again. He’d sent her the name of a bar in Roppongi; of course that was where he wanted to go. She pursed her lips as she wrote back.

My hot single friends might already have plans, she told him.

Alright but if Dave asks it was your idea for just the two of us to hang out, not mine, he returned.

Nellie breathed out. As irritated as she wanted to be, she had to give him that one. But she sent him an eye roll emoji and said, I’ll ask Torr and Thekla and let you know, and threw her phone in her bag to head to the shower.

* * * *

As it turned out, Nellie’s hot single friends did already have plans—to go to a different bar in Roppongi. But that worked just fine for Clark, and he told Nellie he’d meet them there. And honestly, she hoped he’d get there sooner rather than later, because the current company was a mixed bag, to say the least.

Thekla had come, along with Giulia and Mai Sakurai, the three of which were in a celebratory mood—they’d won the Artist of Stardom Championship from REStart that night. Torrance had also come; it was the first time she and Nellie had gone out together in months.

But she’d brought Club Venus with her.

“They’re really not that bad if you get to know them,” Thekla told Nellie over the music as they sat together in the booth; all the others were off dancing or getting drinks. It earned her a skeptical stare. “I know, I know,” she returned. “You’re Team Tam even if you’re not in Cosmic Angels anymore. But Torrance is your best friend, and Mariah is practically her clone. Her much taller British clone, but still.”

Nellie laughed, remembering how she’d told David almost the exact same thing. But then Thekla changed the subject.

“And speaking of you not being in Cosmic Angels anymore… when’re you gonna bite the bullet and join DDM?”

Nellie breathed out. She’d expected this to come up.

“It’s been over a month, Nell.”

“I’m aware,” she replied. “But Giulia doesn’t seem nearly as eager to have me in DDM as Utami does to have me back in Queen’s Quest.”

She sent Thekla a pointed look over her drink. Thekla’s eyebrows arched in understanding.

“Giulia is hard to read, I’ll give you that,” she admitted. “And I’ll be honest with you—you’d have to earn her trust because of how close you are with Tam. Which I mean, can you blame her? Tam shaved her head.”

“Okay, but she rocked that look, though,” Nellie pointed out.

Thekla grinned. “She did, but still. The good news is you’re already halfway there.”

“Am I?” she curiously asked.

“Yeah. Because Giulia trusts me and my judgment—and I want you in DDM, dammit.”

Nellie grinned. “And I appreciate that. And as soon as I make my decision, I’ll let you know.”

“Look who we found at the bar.”

They both looked up. Giulia and Mai had returned, and they had Clark with them.

“I wouldn’t expect you to find him anywhere else,” Nellie quipped.

He set a shot glass in front of her and Thekla each. “Here, I bought us all a round,” he said, and then, in a higher-pitched voice, “‘Oh, thank you, Clark, you’re so sweet and thoughtful and also incredibly handsome.’”

Thekla snorted. Nellie's expression was deadpan. “I already regret telling you where to meet us.”

“Scoot over,” he said with a nudge of her shoulder, and she and Thekla made room so he could sit down while Giulia and Mai did the same on the other side of the booth.

“What is this?” Nellie asked as she picked up the shot.

“Tequila,” Clark said. “I remember what you like.”

She ignored the comment and brought the liquor to her lips.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he quickly stopped her. “We gotta toast!” He raised his glass and looked expectantly around the table. The girls all obliged. “To the success of Donna del Mondo,” he started, “and the restoration of fucking Bullet Club.”

A smirk pulled at Nellie’s lips, and they all toasted and kicked back the tequila, some grimacing more than others as it went down. “Okay, that one was for you, but we're getting whiskey next round,” Clark winced.

“What, can’t handle it?” Nellie teased. “I remember Gabe shooting tequila just fine.”

“A-heh-heh-heh,” he screwed up his face and mock-laughed in return. “But speaking of Gabe—I heard you’re gonna be at Dominion?”

Her brow furrowed in confusion; that segue didn’t make any sense. What did Gabe have to do with Dominion?

But before she could ask, Thekla interjected, “Wait, what? Isn’t Dominion the same day as our Korakuen show?”

Nellie nodded. “It is. But I told Rossy I want to be in Osaka to support David at ringside and that if he really wants to elevate Stardom’s global profile, he needs to start putting me and my two titles on NJPW TV.”

Thekla’s eyebrows arched. “And he agreed to that?”

“Mhm,” Nellie proudly returned. “I think he admired my nerve.”

“Hell yeah,” Clark grinned. “I cannot wait to see the look on ELP’s face when you walk out there with us.”

She gave him another curious look. Us? As far as she knew, Clark wasn’t booked to be at Dominion. “Okay, is there something—”

“What the fuck is this twat doing here?”

Nellie whipped her head around. She saw Torrance first, her face flushed from dancing. And then she saw Dan Moloney.

“I know you’re not talking about me,” Clark returned.

“Well, I don’t see any other twats sat at this table.”

Nellie shot a tense look at Torrance, asking with her face what the hell Dan was doing there. He and Clark had just tried to murder each other in their Best of the Super Juniors tournament match three days ago; the last thing she wanted to do tonight was pull apart another United Empire-Bullet Club fight.

Clark stood from the booth, and Nellie almost grabbed the back of his shirt—but then he greeted Dan like they were best mates.

“I didn’t know you’d be here tonight, man. You should’ve said something.”

“Yeah, well, kind of a last-minute thing. This one invited me,” Dan said with a thumb at Torrance.

Nellie, meanwhile, was at a complete loss. “I’m sorry—what?”

“I don’t know—men,” Thekla shrugged. “They beat the shit out of each other once and suddenly they’re best friends.”

Clark sat back down next to Nellie while Mai made room for Torrance and Dan on the other side of the booth, and Torrance and Nellie’s gaze connected again. Torrance tapped her phone; and no sooner had she than Nellie felt hers vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans. She pulled it out and read the text.

We may have hooked up. Surprise?

Nellie widened her eyes at her friend. She just shrugged.

Surprised and not surprised, she wrote back. I guess bro code doesn’t count for shit in UE.

She waited for Torrance to see the response. Her phone lit up—and she scoffed before quickly typing back.

Whatever, I don’t care. Will had already moved on to another warm body before my side of the bed was even cold.

Nellie read the text and gave her a look that said, “You’re not wrong,” before sending a written reply.

Maybe Dan isn’t even in UE anymore. Him and Clark acting all buddy-buddy right now is suspicious AF.

Torrance’s eyes went wide, and she typed quickly back. Don’t even joke. I’m so done fucking with Bullet Club boys.

Nellie just laughed; she’d thought the same after she and Jay had broken up. And yet, here she was, just days away from declaring herself Bullet Club, too—something that only she, David, and Clark knew.

As far as she knew, anyway.

* * * *

Friday, November 4, 2022 Osaka, Japan

Tomorrow would be David’s last show in Japan until he didn’t know when. It sucked—it really sucked. He and Nellie had only realized their mutual desire for something more than just friendship five days ago. But Nellie didn’t want to focus on their painfully poor timing. As it worked out, their schedules had synced up to give them a full day off together in Osaka, and they’d taken full advantage.

They started off with getting breakfast at an American-style diner, splitting chocolate banana pancakes and a bacon and cheese omelet because neither of them could decide which sounded better. Then they’d gone on the famous Osaka costumed go-kart sightseeing tour that Nellie had always wanted to try but never had the chance; she’d dressed up as Yoshi, David as Pikachu. Afterward, they’d stopped at one of the city’s numerous food stalls for deep-fried chicken and sticky-sweet rice balls before heading back to David’s hotel room, where they’d fallen asleep watching TV together on the bed. It felt so natural, so comfortable, so uncomplicated sleeping in David’s arms.

But when they awoke, it only made it that much more difficult not to think about how their time together was dwindling all too quickly.

“I don’t want to leave you at all,” David said as they still lay together, his arm around her, her head on his chest. “But I also feel like I need the time away for myself to reset; go back to the fucking drawing board. My G1 was shit; I really wanted that TV Title… I don’t know. I need to figure out what I need to do to stop just spinning my wheels.”

“Your G1 wasn’t shit,” Nellie gently returned. “Will won your block with what? Eight points? And you and everyone else but Juice finished with six. Most people finished with six this year. And if it helps at all, that TV Title is ugly as shit.”

David let out a laugh. “You’re right about that. And yeah, at least I did beat Juice. But it’s just one disappointment after another, you know?”

“I do know. You know I do. And I think you’re right. I don’t want you to leave, either. But even more than that, I don’t want you to get burned out from frustration.” She lifted her head to look at him. “So, take some time to do what you need to do, and then come back to me.”

He gave her a soft smile. “I know this probably feels like an uncomfortably familiar situation. But I promise, Nell—I’m not Jay.”

She shook her head. “I know you’re not,” she said, and she kissed him. She’d meant it to be just one, short and sweet, assuring; but neither of them wanted to stop at just one. David rolled her underneath him, and her hand unintentionally slipped under his shirt. Nellie wanted him; she wanted to cross that line. But she knew all too well that sleeping with him now would only make his absence hurt that much more—

And then her phone started ringing.

He pulled back. “Is someone calling you?”

She sighed. “Guarantee it’s Torrance.” Sure enough, when she retrieved her phone from the nightstand, Torrance’s name was displayed on the screen. David just laughed.

Nellie answered the call, and she and Torrance talked for a few minutes, figuring out what the plans were for the evening (“The Aussies and Jeff and Francesco want to get dinner with us, but I don’t want to be around Will,” Torrance explained). When she hung up, she looked back at David. The previous tension still hung in the air between them.

“It’s probably for the best she interrupted,” he softly said. “I don’t want to do that just to turn around and leave for I don’t know how long.”

Nellie sighed again. “I know. But you know you saying that only makes me want it more, right?”

He grinned. “Maybe that’s the point,” he teased, and he kissed her again. Once, tender and meaningful.

They got up from the bed, and David walked her to the door and told her to let him know when she made it back to her hotel—she wanted to shower and change before dinner—and Nellie made her way to the elevators. She looked down at her phone as one arrived with a ding; but when the doors slid open, a stone dropped into her stomach.

Jay.

He looked like he’d just arrived, luggage in tow, sunglasses on. He pushed them on top of his head and grinned. The cat who caught the canary.

“Well, fancy meeting you here.”

He stepped out of the elevator, but his suitcase blocked her way and the doors slid closed. Not that Nellie could move, anyway. It felt like her legs had suddenly turned to lead.

“Is Stardom in this hotel?” he asked. “I thought your show was in Nara tomorrow?”

She tried not to think about why he knew that as she answered. “It is, and we’re not. I’m here with David.”

It was more gratifying than she expected to say that to Jay’s face. And even though his face didn’t give much away, she could see it in his eyes. Resentment. But then he turned them down and nodded.

“Are you? That’s kind of surprising.”

Nellie’s brow hardened. “What’s so surprising about it?”

He shook his head. “Nothing—well. It’s just that when you started hanging out with him during the G1… I thought you were doing it just to get back at me.”

Anger bubbled up in Nellie’s chest. Shock, disbelief, to the point that she felt ill. She looked him dead in the eye. “If you think I would use someone like that, then you really don’t know me at all.”

She hit the down button again.

“Nell, come on,” Jay breathed. “What else was I supposed to think? When I got back to Japan it seemed like you wanted to fix things between us, and then next thing I knew, you were out getting drinks with my old best friend.”

“I did want to fix things!” she burst. “Against my own better judgment, I did! And what happened? You fucked me one last time—here, in Osaka, to pump yourself up for your World Title match—and then you disappeared again.”

His eyebrows arched. “Are you joking? I had other bookings; that was two weeks before Forbidden Door.”

The elevator arrived, but Nellie didn’t get on. “Okay, but you didn’t talk to me! You didn’t show me anything, Jay—nothing changed! And you know what David did? He showed me that he gave a shit about me.”

The elevator doors started to close, and Nellie caught them with her arm and stepped inside. She looked back at Jay. The resentment in his eyes had given way to something else. Guilt.

“Nell… I don’t want to leave it like this.”

She shook her head. “Now’s not the time,” she told him, and the elevator doors slid closed, putting a pause on the one conversation that she knew, eventually, she’d no longer be able to avoid.

* * * *

Friday, June 2, 2023 Tokyo, Japan

“You remember the last time we were in Osaka together?”

David asked the question as they finished packing. The big weekend had finally arrived. They were taking the bullet train down to Osaka tomorrow for Dominion on Sunday, and Nellie was buzzing with excitement.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about that,” she said as she zipped up her suitcase and moved it with some effort from her bed to the floor. “It’s crazy to think how much has changed since then.”

Everything had changed. Seven months ago, she and David had been reluctantly pulled apart from one another, both frustrated and floundering in their careers, nothing but uncertainty on the horizon. And now, they were both champions; David the leader of Bullet Club, Nellie on the verge of making her membership known to the world. It felt like they had the whole world ahead of them. And they were doing it together.

“I know,” David returned. “I’d never wanted to board a plane less in my life than I did after that show.”

“Even more than this last time you left?”

“Oh, for sure,” he answered, no hesitation. “Because when I leave now, I know exactly when I’m coming back. It was the not knowing back then that really made it hard.”

Nellie didn’t reply as she climbed onto her bed and settled against the pillows, her thoughts turning inward. After Dominion, David didn’t have any bookings until the G1, over a month away. And they hadn’t really discussed that—if he would extend his stay to spend some extra time with her before heading back home to Florida, if he would come back early before the tournament, if he’d even given it any thought at all. It didn’t worry her, per se; they’d both been busy. But now it was right there in front of her.

“Which, actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

She looked back at him, pulled from her thoughts. “What is it?” she asked.

He settled next to her on the bed, and the atmosphere suddenly felt different. Not tense. But important. Nellie felt her heart pick up a beat.

“I know we’ve been moving kind of fast since I came back in March,” David began. “But truthfully—and I think you feel the same—I don’t see the point in waiting if we both know what we want. And so… I’ve decided that I want to move here, to Tokyo. And if you want, I’d like us to get a new place together.”

If Nellie had been buzzing before, she was positively vibrating now. “Are you being serious?”

He nodded. “Of course. I fucking hate every time I have to get on a plane and leave you again. I hate it. And this last time I was gone, I realized… it’s not just my career that’s here now. My life is, too.”

He looked her in the eyes, full of love and trust, and her heart grew wings. “I would love to get a new place together.”

David smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yes, of course,” she said, and she kissed him. She couldn’t contain her excitement. “Babe! This is a big deal!”

“I know, but it’s what I want,” he reiterated. “And plus, this timing works out because I have a month-and-a-half off after Sunday, so that’ll give me a good amount of time to sort everything out and get my place in Florida packed up and shipped over here.”

“That’s a process,” she told him. “Trust me, I know from experience.”

“I know. But to be honest with you, I already started.”

Nellie smiled at him. “You did?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I had a feeling you’d say yes, so I figured I’d get a head start when I was home.”

“Oh, you had a feeling?”

“I did,” he grinned. “Come here.”

He pulled her into another kiss, and Nellie had never felt so much love, so much trust, so much understanding, so much faith that this was right. That everything she’d been through, that they’d been through, had purposefully brought them exactly to where they were now. And she couldn’t wait to find out what else they would build—together.

“I love you,” David said against her lips, and Nellie smiled.

“I love you, too.”

* * * *

Sunday, June 4, 2023 Dominion 6.4 in Osaka-jo Hall – Osaka, Japan

Nellie had thought she was the only surprise David had in store that night. Boy, had she thought wrong.

The first surprise came after the IWGP Junior Tag Title match. Catch 2/2 had staved off Intergalactic Jetsetters only for Clark to come strutting down to the ring—with a gold cap on one of his teeth and a too-orange spray tan, God bless him—and at first, Nellie hadn’t understood. No one had; he was outnumbered, what was he going to do? But everyone got their answer when Dan Moloney, who had been at ringside for the match, unexpectedly attacked Francesco and TJP, officially turning on United Empire and joining Bullet Club. And Torrance had texted Nellie almost as soon as it had happened.

Nellie I swear to God if you knew about this and didn’t tell me.

Dude I had NO idea I swear, I’m just as shocked as you are, she’d quickly sent back. But as Dan and Clark had walked back up the ramp, the sight of them together made a little too much sense.

“They’re gonna bring out the absolute worst in each other,” she’d noted. David had just laughed.

And then, the match after the next, there was another surprise.

After Bishamon had defeated House of Torture and United Empire to win both the IWGP Tag Team and Strong Openweight Tag Team championships, Alex Coughlin and Gabe Kidd had shown up in Bullet Club shirts and put the boots to them, declaring their intent and establishing their allegiance in one fell swoop. It explained why Clark had brought up Dominion after Nellie had mentioned Gabe last week. She had to admit—she was impressed.

But now it was her turn to be the surprise.

She’d never felt more confident than she did now in her BC Decade t-shirt, cropped to show off her figure; although, she wore her Wonder of Stardom Championship around her waist and her SWA World Championship diagonally across her chest, so she was mostly gold. David had explicitly told her to show off. “You’ve earned that,” he’d told her. “We run this fucking place.”

Excited butterflies teemed in her stomach as they all stood at the ready at the Gorilla curtain. David smirked down at her.

“Last chance to back out.”

She grinned and shook her head. “Not a chance,” she told him, and sealed it with a kiss.

His entrance music started. Clark and Dan went out first, followed by Gabe and Alex. They stood on either side of the stage, and then David went up the steps, followed closely by Nellie, Gedo behind her. She could hear the surprise of the crowd when they saw her, feel it course through her body, energizing her. It was a familiar feeling, but renewed. Different. Deeper.

They walked down to the ring, and while David’s focus was zeroed in on El Phantasmo, ELP was looking at Nellie. Except it wasn’t ELP; not right then. Right then, it was Riley.

“Seriously?” he said down to her. “You never once came out here with Jay.”

Nellie didn’t hesitate. “Jay never asked,” she returned, and David slid into the ring and attacked him.

Twenty-six minutes later, he was victorious. And Nellie hadn’t gotten involved; none of the other members of Bullet Club had. David didn’t need their help; he didn’t need them to interfere. This was a different Bullet Club than what it had been under Jay, a return to the original. And when they all joined David in the ring and raised up the Too Sweet above ELP, Nellie had never felt more like she belonged. Not in Cosmic Angels, not in Queen’s Quest, not even in Suzuki-gun. This was her home, beside David—and it just so happened to be in Bullet Club.

#david finlay fanfiction #jay white fanfiction #njpw fanfiction #bullet club fanfiction #bullet club war dogs fanfiction

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dustedmagazine · 3 months

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Phosphorescent — Revelator (Verve)

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Matthew Houck (Phosphorescent) makes his debut on Verve, a label generally more associated with jazz than Nashville-based songwriters. One can see why Houck’s songcraft and moody singing might attract their attention. He has been recording since 2003, since 2007 for Dead Oceans, releasing noteworthy recordings such as Pride (2007), Muchacho (2013), and his most recent, C’est la Vie (2018). Like many other artists, the pandemic momentarily slowed the release of Revelator (2024), as did raising a family.

The title track sets the tone for the whole recording, down but not out, discouraged by America’s current challenges but simultaneously undaunted in the face of them. He sings, “Hey I told you before, that I needed you more, But you couldn’t even turn around, Got my heart open wide, But the city’s been shut down.”

“The World is Ending” closes, “Until they send some scientist to prove me wrong, I know the world is ending.” The hook is a terrific, buoyant one though, and it provides a disconnect between the mood of words and music. Houck can even have an upbeat calypso beat accompany downbeat lyrics. On “A Moon Behind the Clouds,” he sings, “I’d tell you about a feeling, but I’d lose it in the crowd, A tiny voice repeating, A moon behind the clouds.” Later, “Your country is on fire, We’ve come apart somehow, A photograph revealing, A moon behind the clouds.”

“Fences” is a fine arrangement, with layered backing vocals and keyboards. While Houck often hews close to indie-rock, one of the best songs on Revelator is “All the Same,” a traditional sounding country ballad with pedal steel and a beery vocal. “Impossible House” also channels country of a more recent sort, and Houck’s often understated singing takes on a sense of urgency.

Revelator closes with “To Get it Right,” a cathartic song in which the songwriter admits that, despite the vicissitudes outlined previously, “To get it right is hard to do, But we get it right, It’s what we do.”

Christian Carey

#phosphorescent #revelator #verve #christian carey #albumreview #dusted magazine #indie #cosmic country

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mrschwartz · 2 years

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The New Cue #273 March 27: James Ford

James Ford gave an interview for The New Cue which was published earlier today. Here are the parts where he mentions Alex or Arctic Monkeys:

"How naturally did it come writing lyrics?

I’m definitely noticed working with a lot of great lyricists - I notice people like Alex Turner will be constantly thinking about lyrics and taking snippets from people’s conversations and jotting stuff down in his notepad. I definitely don’t think in those terms, a lot of the time I’m very much into melody and chords and feel, but I felt like I opened a little extra door in my brain when I suddenly started thinking about lyrics, seeing little things and thinking, ‘Oh, I’m gonna have that.’

(...)

The defining relationship in your production career is your work with Arctic Monkeys, which goes all the way back to their second record Favourite Worst Nightmare. Can you give me an insight into how a modern Arctic Monkeys record is made, I think a lot of people find their dynamic quite intriguing.

Yeah, that’s the thing, even within one band, it changes every record. With the most recent record, Alex is getting very into recording stuff himself. He’s a polymath at the best of times, he plays everything, he’s into the sonics of it and he’s obviously writing the songs for the most part. He does pretty great demos on this thing called a Tascam 38-8, it’s like an eight-track tape machine and it’s got a real vibey sound. He’ll come in with pretty well-formed ideas at this point, it definitely used to be less formed when they came in, although they’ve always been pretty well organised.

I seem to remember the writing process for The Car was quite long, he went to and fro with a few different direct directions. He definitely did a fair amount of writing, he had his own studio in London somewhere and Jamie [Cook, guitarist] and the band were coming in and out, jamming, then he’d do four or five different versions of the same song with different tempos and he’d played some of them to me and I’d be like, ‘Oh, that one’s sounding great.’ Then eventually, he came in and did some stuff in here, where we’d get his demos up, and maybe do some structural stuff and think about how we would actually record it. The last record was in a pandemic still so we couldn’t go abroad to a studio that we’ve been to quite a lot. We went to this country house in Suffolk, which involved pulling my studio apart and renting loads of stuff. It was quite a big technical thing. I just remember doing loads of wiring, plugging in the studio, getting it to work. The recording set-up was quite slapdash in a lot of ways but it ended up being a really lovely experience out there and we got it sounding really good after a bit of luck and a bit of hard work. After that, we brought it back here and me and Al did the string arrangements, pushing notes around on the screen. Then we went and got the string stuff done with this girl called Bridget Samuels who’s brilliant, she translated it into all the dots and that. Then I mixed it in this room.

It sounds like quite an insular process.

Yeah, it’s funny, I’ve known them so long now. I’ve been working with quite a lot of new bands and you get this energy and respect or something that you have in a new relationship and it counts for quite a lot. People will try stuff out that they wouldn’t normally try. But with the Monkeys, it’s a totally different thing where there’s this deep trust that we’ve grown up together.

So there’s a shorthand?

Yeah, that’s the thing. Me and Alex, our music tastes have grown together, I’ve introduced him and he’s introduced me to so much different music and there’s so much that you don’t even have to bother explaining. But sometimes that’s good and bad. I do often think it would be interesting to see what they did with someone else at this point, not that I’d really want them to, but I think that maybe they should, or it might be like a marriage where it just wouldn’t work. It’s a funny thing, but I still definitely try and push him as hard as I can. I’m aware I don’t want him to settle into a comfort zone and it just become boring, you’re trying to keep finding ways to move forward and do new things.

Which record that you’ve been involved with across your career that you think is underrated?

Maybe just because we’ve been talking about Alex, but I remember really liking this one called Belladonna Of Sadness by Alexandra Savior that me and Al did. I remember really enjoying making that and thinking it sounded great, but no-one ever really heard it. There’s lots of ones that you think are gonna do great but don’t, then ones that you’re not so keen on that suddenly have this life of their own."

#james ford #arctic monkeys #alex turner #i agree belladonna of sadness is underrated af

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grigori77 · 9 months

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2023 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30. SICK – the year’s first real horror cinema surprise was also one of its VERY FIRST standouts period, a brilliant little streaming sleeper from Peacock which snuck in under the radar but EFFORTLESSLY captured my attention AND the darker parts of my imagination. Best of all, though, it was SO COOL to see legendary revisionist horror screenwriter Kevin Williamson return to the “big screen” again after spending so long plying his trade on TV – I was VERY MUCH the target audience for Scream when it came out, I just ATE UP his delicious post-modern deconstruction of the slasher genre and its subsequent follow-ups (although Robert Rodriguez’ The Faculty, his fantastic take on alien invasion movie tropes, remains my very favourite of Willaimson’s creations to date), even if it did lead to a fresh sub-genre which, paradoxically, became increasingly tired and toothless as the years progressed. In the end, I think it’s probably A GOOD THING he took a step back – he just needed a chance to rethink things and find a fresh angle to come at the genre … and BY THE GODS has he ever found one with THIS. Interestingly, for Williamson at least, the Pandemic couldn’t have come along at a better time, giving him fertile ground indeed in which to grow a particularly potent darkly comic slasher which EASILY lives up to his masterworks. Taking place in the early days of the original outbreak, when the first Lockdown was just starting, infection alerts and self-isolation were only just becoming a major thing and everybody was PANICKING over how much they really DIDN’T yet know about what was REALLY going on, the setting was already ripe for some pretty intense, chaotic storytelling … so adding a brutal serial killer with a penchant for killing off the idiots who flagrantly flaunted the COVID safety restrictions and purposefully went out of their way to pretend things were the same as normal was a slick move. The main bulk of the narrative revolves around three college kids in some nondescript part of the US – Parker (Blockers and The Society’s Gideon Adlon), a well-off party girl who’s looking to make some major changes in her life, and her best friend Miri (up-and coming R&B artist Beth Million), who go to Parker’s family’s expansive country home to quarantine in comfort, and Parker’s newly-EX boyfriend DJ (Man of Steel and Teen Wolf’s Dylan Sprayberry), who turns up ostensibly to try and patch things up between them but may simply have come for an opportunistic hook-up – who are targeted by a killer who subsequently hunts them during a night of fraught tension, smartly staged stalk-and-slash set-pieces and a hefty dose of Williamson’s characteristic jet black-but-enjoyably geeky sense of humour, which is this time pitched to a particularly sharp edge of biting finger-on-the-pulse satire given the rich socio-political real-life material he’s able to mine here. The small but extremely potent cast are all BRILLIANT, although the film really is DOMINATED by Adlon, who once again shows that she’s destined for GREAT THINGS INDEED in the future with a brilliant turn that runs an impressive gamut from irresponsibly entitled brat to vitally determined survivor once circumstances have fully driven her to take proper responsibility for her childish behaviour, making for a compellingly sympathetic young heroine we find easy enough to root for. It probably helps the man behind the camera is John Hyams (All Square, Alone), son of legendary genre-hopping director Peter Hyams, who shows he’s definitely inherited his dad’s impressive skill by crafting a lean, tight and precise slice of thrilling cinema which takes full advantage of a tight budget and (mostly) a single location, which results in a brilliant little comedy horror gem that I’d heartily recommend folk hunt down on streaming, or at the very least keep in mind for Halloween …

29. HOW TO BLOW UP A PIPELINE – it’s always nice when a sharp little indie banger sneaks in under the radar to place on one of my lists for the year, and this impressive critically acclaimed underdog thriller definitely shaped up as one of the year’s most memorable examples. It’s a very low-fi, gritty down-and-dirty procedural slice-of-life thriller about a motley collection of eco-terrorists banding together to sabotage an oil pipeline in West Texas, focusing almost entirely on this core group of disillusioned youths played by eight uniformly EXCEPTIONAL actors each handing in genuine (ahem) dynamite performances. Ariele Barer (Marvel’s Runaways), The Revenant’s Forrest Goodluck, American Honey’s Sasha Lane and Marcus Scribner (probably best known as the voice of She-Ra & the Princesses of Power’s Bow) are the undeniable stand-outs here, but all of these kids are ON FIRE throughout, showing they’ve got truly BRIGHT futures ahead of them indeed, while Irene Bedard (Smoke Signals) also impresses in a supporting turn as Joanna, an FBI agent who may be onto their plans … the film bounces between the varying points of view amongst the characters, gradually unveiling their motivations to commit a morally complex terrorist act through a series of scattered flashbacks punctuating the planning, execution and aftermath of the bombing itself, with writer-director Daniel Goldhaber (Cam, here co-adapting Andreas Maim’s incendiary non-fiction novel with Ariele Barer herself and Cam’s co-writer Jordan Sjol) weaving a suitably taut and atmospheric slowburn path throughout the flawlessly executed narrative, the film brilliantly building its wire-taut tension to a rewardingly cathartic climax which is as provocative as the challenging subject matter. This is a film that asks some VERY BIG QUESTIONS and delivers some suitably complicated and rightfully TROUBLING answers, a razor sharp piece of indie cinema which definitely deserves the critical acclaim and cult hit status it’s earned …

28. COCAINE BEAR – gods, if EVER there was a true story that seemed TAILOR MADE for cinema, it’s the bizarre tale of Cokey the Bear, AKA Pablo Eskobear, an American black bear that died after ingesting 34 keys of cocaine that were dumped out of a smuggler’s cargo plane over the Tennessee wilderness in 1985. That being said, it’s not a huge surprise it’s taken Hollywood SO LONG to actually get it made, perhaps it’s just TOO CRAZY a concept for it to have been made before now. Ultimately, the film takes A LOT of liberties with the truth to instead craft an entertaining story, but in the end that’s definitely the smart move, simply using the concept as a springboard to craft a gloriously batshit horror comedy with a JET BLACK sense of humour populated by an offbeat collection of quirky characters. Keri Russell stars as Sari, a nurse and single mother who has to brave the woods in order to find her young daughter Dee Dee (The Florida Project’s Brooklyn Prince), who’s playing hooky in the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest with her best friend Henry (Sweet Tooth’s Christian Convery) right when Cokey goes on her drug-fuelled homicidal rampage; meanwhile, recently bereaved widower Eddie (Solo’s Alden Ehrenreich) and his best friend Daveed (Straight Outta Compton’s O’Shea Jackson Jr.) are two drug cartel enforcers reluctantly scouring the area in search of their lost product at the behest of Eddie’s overbearing St Louis drug kingpin father Syd White (the late, great Ray Liotta, to whom the film is dedicated); and then there’s hapless but dogged Knoxville detective Bob (the venerable Isaiah Whitlock Jr.), who knows he can bust White if he can just get his hands on the evidence. All three parties converge in the park while the bear wreaks merry havoc in Elizabeth Banks’ third film as a director (after Pitch Perfect 2 and the CRIMINALLY mistreated and overlooked Charlie’s Angels reboot), which looks like it might FINALLY get people to start taking her serious BEHIND the camera as well as IN FRONT of it – this is a proper laugh-riot of a film which is also delightfully non-PC, and it’s liberally peppered with impressively blood-soaked effects to thrill the gore-hounds as well as an impressively well-realised digital animal character in the eponymous drug-addled beastie. The cast are brilliant too, Russell and Ehrenreich both particularly impressing in their respective nominal lead roles while the kids are EXCEPTIONAL (particularly Convery, getting to gleefully overact as one of the most hyperactive-yet-not-irritating kids I’ve ever seen on screen), and it’s both enriching and a little heartbreaking to watch Liotta once again act his socks off in one of his very last film roles; that being said, several of the scenes are thoroughly STOLEN by the irrepressible Margo Martindale, who’s clearly having the time of her life in one of her most gloriously OTT roles as foul-mouthed, much put-upon park Ranger Liz. Ultimately this is a horror comedy where the balance is definitely tipped very much in favour of the laughs over the scares, but that’s fine, because with a concept this batshit bonkers we were always gonna find it too funny to ever be remotely scary, so the end result is one of THE FUNNIEST MOVIES I ran across in the cinema all year, rightfully revelling in its own inherent irreverence. It’s just about the most fun you could ever expect it to be, which is just what you want from a movie about a cocaine bear, really …

27. THE FLASH – oh boy … yeah, this one is gonna be a COMPLICATED talk. This was one TROUBLED project from day one, from the major shake-ups surrounding the Joss Whedon-compromised Justice League film and the subsequent mess THAT unleashed, through the whole conflicting debate over Zack Snyder’s original vision for the DCEU, and then the eventual collapse of the Cinematic Universe itself, this film, originally entitled Flashpoint (which personally I like A WHOLE LOT more, actually, since it really does pay DIRECT reference to the actually storyline they went with) went through a whole collection of incarnations and reiterations and, for a while, it was starting to look like we might NEVER see it hit our cinema screens at all … and that’s without even mentioning star Ezra Miller’s ongoing legal troubles and essential CANCELLING after their continued outrageous, unacceptable off-set behaviour, which looked set to torpedo the film all on its own. Honestly, I have to admit I was MYSELF a little wary going in, not because of these particular problems but more just the prospect of what I would actually do if, in spite of all this, I actually still LIKED IT … unfortunately for me, that was VERY MUCH the case, which is why we’re here in the first place.

But I must forge on, and so I’m gonna just take this film on ITS OWN face value and ignore the external problems … at least until THE END of the review … because The Flash is, actually, pretty fucking GREAT. Barry Allen (Miller) is finally coming into his own as a fully-fledged member of the Justic League, even if this does frequently mean he’s essentially cleaning up the extreme messes left behind when Batman/Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) gets involved in particularly BIG potential world-shattering events, as brilliantly illustrated in the film’s suitably SPECTACULAR opening set-piece, which does a BEAUTIFUL job of not only letting us know EXACTLY what this incarnation of the Flash is actually capable of, but also revealing Barry’s own distinctly unique, offbeat and, frankly, really rather ADORABLE personal style of superheroism. Then the plot itself kicks off when Barry’s father Henry (Ron Livingstone), serving life in prison for the wrongfully-convicted murder of Barry’s mother Nora (Pan’s Labyrinth’s wonderful Maribel Verdu), sees his latest (and, it looks like, FINAL) appeal fall flat due to a crucial new piece of evidence turning out to be useless, and Barry decides he's had enough of ignoring a particularly potent aspect of his superpowers –

the ability to run SO FAST that he can actually GO BACK IN TIME!!! So he races back to the day of his mother’s death and tweaks circumstances so that she survives, only for Barry to then get punted off track before he can return to the present by an unknown entity within “the Speedforce” which then lands him in 2013, just days before Earth’s invasion by the hostile Kryptonian forces of General Zod (Michael Shannon), as seen in Man of Steel. Still with us so far? Yeah, well it gets EVEN MORE complicated, cuz it turns out that, while his mum is now STILL ALIVE, Barry hasn’t got his powers in this universe, which means that he has to reform the Justice League himself in THIS timeline in order to defeat Zod. Except that there are FAR MORE consequences to messing with time than Barry ever took into account set to make things all but insurmountably complicated for him to succeed … beyond this we’re getting into DANGEROUS spoiler territory, beyond the fact that these new developments give rise to whole fresh and very complicated ideas of alternative universes somewhat akin to what the MCU’s already started experimenting with (which is also, actually, something that the DC comics universe does ALL THE BLOODY TIME), which gives rise to whole new incarnations of beloved characters from the established DCEU, some of which HAVE already been revealed in the trailers and beyond, but others not so much, so … yeah, anyway, it’s a glorious MESS of a narrative, but somehow this film does a REALLY IMPRESSIVE job of navigating this jumble in an impressively coherent and breezy way that ultimately makes this a whole lot of fun to watch, actually. Of course, the lion’s share of the praise for this HAS TO go to screenwriter Christina Hodson (Birds of Prey & the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) for wrangling the UNHOLY MESS of development done for the previous incarnations into an actual WORKING script, which was then brought to life with suitably brave and adventurous SKILL by director Andy Muschietti (Mama and It Chapter One and Two), but the uniformly EXCEPTIONAL cast shoulder a good deal of that responsibility too –

Miller may be problematic in real life, but there can be no denying that he is FUCKING BRILLIANT in his signature role, crafting a hyperactive, ultra-awkward social misfit of a superhero that us various underdog kids just can’t help rooting for, while it is a MASSIVE pleasure to get to see MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE Batman return as this AU’s altered version of Bruce Wayne, the legendary Michael Keaton himself again proving why he really is THE VERY BEST VERSION of the character out there (and I will accept NO ARGUMENT AT ALL about that, I swear you can all FIGHT ME on this particular hill upon which I am determined to DIE if I must), and Livingstone and Verdu bring an IMMENSE amount of pathos to their characters throughout which makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR why Barry tries SO HARD to save them both, and it’s also great fun getting to see Michael Shannon back as the Big Bad here again, I always really liked this spectacular scenery-chewing version of Zod. For me, though, the biggest win here has to be The Young & the Restless’ Sasha Calle, making her big screen debut as the most impressive and DCEU-consistent incarnation of Kara Zor-El, aka SUPERGIRL, that we could ever have hoped for, she’s a truly AWESOME creation, EASILY as badass as Henry Cavill’s Supes but also a good deal more complex as a character too. Ultimately it’s a shame that circumstances mean that we likely won’t get to see more of her in future projects, much like Keaton’s returning Batman, as they’re definitely the unexpected heart and soul of the film, easily delivering in the most impressively iconic set-pieces and memorable character beats. Indeed, this is SO BLOODY BRILLIANT all round as a film – from its spectacular action sequences, through its frequent gleefully anarchic screwball humour, to a variety of impressive jaw-dropping game-changer twists in the narrative – that the fact that the DCEU itself is officially over and all of this means PRECISELY ZERO in the face of where it’s all going in James Gunn’s incoming Cinematic Universe reboot makes this feel all the more ultimately pointless, which lends any viewing a bittersweet aftertaste no matter HOW enjoyable it all is. I mean granted, it’s NOT perfect (there is, famously, some pretty clunky CGI that ALMOST takes you out of the experience, especially in the climactic sequence when we see the timelines start to collide), but then very few of the DCEU movies HAVE BEEN anyway, and this one still works just fine for what it is. So it may not have any actual VALUE for the series moving forward, but it’s still a really great movie that MORE THAN deserves to be seen for its own merits, and I highly recommend you give it a chance anyway. At least Gunn and co have seen the sense to keep Muschietti onboard for their reboot (namely helming the new DCU’s Batman reboot The Brave & the Bold), and if they’ve any more sense they’ll bring Christina Hodson back for more too …

26. THE EQUALIZER 3 – Director Antoine Fuqua and Denzel Washington have had a long and extremely fruitful working relationship, from their earliest collaboration on his best-known film, Training Day (which finally landed Washington his long-overdue best actor Oscar, although many of us agree that it SHOULD have gone to him a few years prior for The Hurricane), through the EXTREMELY impressive remake of the classic western The Magnificent Seven, to their most lucrative and long-running collab to date, a series of feature adaptations of a cult classic TV thriller show from the 80s which has now reached its THIRD instalment and STILL seems to be running at full steam with no sign of flagging. Indeed, this just might be THE BEST ONE YET … Washington once again effortlessly delivers a coolly sophisticated, often understated but still typically deeply nuanced turn as Robert McCall, the former special-forces soldier turned SOCOM operative who reemerged from self-imposed faked-death-retirement in the first film in order to deliver bloody retribution for the brutal assault of a young girl, only to subsequently find a new calling as a freelance guardian angel for the weak and powerless who have nowhere else to turn with a dangerous problem. This time round his antiheroic adventures has brought him to Italy, where the ill-fated end of his latest operation sees him near death from a bullet in his back, being nursed back to health in the remote coastal town of Altamonte. It’s here that he finally finds that true peace that’s so long eluded him as he recovers from his injuries, but he finds himself ultimately dragged back into the fray when a

Camorra crime outfit from Naples, looking to expand their operation to new territories, starts trying to exploit the townsfolk that Robert has grown so close to beyond their breaking point … ultimately this is a more slowburn, understated affair than the previous two films, but that actually proves to be this instalment’s greatest strength, allowing us to get closer to our Equalizer than ever before, as well as the people he’s driven to help, which makes this BY FAR the most emotionally investing film in the trilogy, and makes us root for Robert like never before as we wait for him to FINALLY bring the pain to these Mafioso thugs. That dam-break, when they finally come, is as viscerally intense as we’ve come to expect from the series, but thanks to the additional groundwork this time round the kills and cathartic payback delivered feel more satisfyingly substantial, while the film’s greatest pleasures ultimately lie more in the anticipation as Fuqua cranks the tension tighter and we edge further forward in our seats. Once again, the supporting cast all shine through, with Andrea Scarduzio (Colour On the Cross) giving great bad guy as subtly reptilian Mob boss Vincent Quaranta, ably backed up by Andrea Dodero (Thou Shalt Not Hate) as Vincent’s vicious, jumped up thug of a little brother Marco, while Gaia Scodellaro (CentroVetrine) and Eugenio Mastrandeo (From Scratch) deftly show us what’s so worth fighting for in this town as effervescently friendly local café owner Aminah and Altamonte’s principled but pragmatically fair sole Carabinieri Gio Bonucci; the biggest standout, however, is Dakota Fanning as Emma Collins, the smart and dogged FBI agent who ends up tracking Robert down following his involvement in the opening showdown and uncovers a whole nest of previous overlooked criminal chaos. At the end of the day though, this is ONCE AGAIN every inch Washington’s film, the erstwhile star clearly enjoying himself immensely in one of the best and most iconic

roles of his career, although this third instalment looks like it might be the last Equalizer with him in the lead since it becomes abundantly clear that it’s looking to wind things up for Robet’s final adventure in a suitably satisfying way. That being said, there’s definitely room, interest and clear demand for more from both the fanbase AND the creatives here, with the pervading theory being that we may be going back to the early days of McCall’s time with the CIA, in which case the obvious choice moving forward would be to let John David Washington step into his dad’s shoes as young Robert. In truth it’s the only smart choice …

25. ANT-MAN & THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA – coming off the back of 2022’s decidedly hit-and-miss big screen slate for Disney and Marvel’s current flagship property, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, THIS past year’s first MCU release had A LOT of eyes on it. Gods know, I definitely had TWO OF ‘EM … and it probably wasn’t the best title to be laying all this weight on, either – the Ant-Man movies in particular have always been a bit of a marmite property within the larger universe, with as many detractors as fans, which definitely didn’t help things here. If this turned out to be third time unlucky for Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang and the rest, it could spell much larger disaster for the MCU overall, or at the very least signify that the cracks are definitely growing beyond the studios’ capacity to patch ‘em up on the run. So I’ll admit, I went into this one with a whole lot of trepidation … was it unwarranted? Well, being completely honest … not ENTIRELY. Tried-and-tested comedy director Peyton Reed’s Ant-Man films have always been a pretty mad collection anyway, as much a full-blown comedy sub-franchise as the Guardians of the Galaxy movies or Thor under Taika Waititi, but even so they still managed to keep ONE FOOT on the ground even while the rest was set EXTENSIVELY in the Quantum Realm, but this one has somewhat jumped the shark. Granted, part of this film’s particular OTT outlandishness and unabashed WACKINESS is down to narrative necessity – giving too much away plot-wise unfortunately runs the risk of dropping some MASSIVE spoilers, but it’s at least safe to say that the lion’s share of the story takes place ENTIRELY in the Quantum Realm this time, and it’s a place which is A WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT from anything we might have imagined from our very brief visits in Ant-Man & the Wasp and Avengers: Endgame. For a start, it’s A WHOLE LOT BIGGER than we thought it was, and MUCH more heavily populated by some truly WEIRD SHIT … the film also has some major heavy-lifting to do with regards to setting up the Big Bad for Phase 5 and 6 both – Kang the Conqueror (The Last Black Man In San Francisco and Creed III’s Jonathan Majors), a Multiverse-based Thanos level threat we first encountered (sort of) in 2021’s runaway hit first season of Loki. This at least is one of the areas in which the movie definitely SUCCEEDED – ultimately problematic as he may have become since the film’s release, Majors at least did a commendable job of establishing one of the franchise’s most interesting and effective supervillains, a near God Tier Bad Guy who’s clearly gonna give the whole Avengers roster a run for their money when they finally come face to face with him (in whatever recast form he ultimately takes). The plot, such as it is, is pure scrambled bananas, a heavyweight mindfuck it’s best to just DISENGAGE the brain to go with in order to get proper enjoyment

out of – this is definitely a cinematic GUILTY PLEASURE, and trying to take it even remotely seriously immediately draws the eye to a thousand gaping plot-holes and glaring narrative stumbles. At least the patented stunning, primary coloured visuals, winning sense of humour and cavalcade of delightfully wacky set-pieces (the clone-spawning “probability explosion” sequence is a particularly overblown, super-trippy highlight with an unexpected tear-jerk factor built in) are all fully functional and behaving correctly, and the thoroughly endearing cast all deliver admirably with nary an off-note hint of miscasting – Rudd and Evangeline Lilly (returning as Hope van Dyne AKA the titular Wasp) are both still pitch perfect, while it’s nice to see Michael Douglas and PARTICULARLY Michelle Pfeiffer getting to do a whole lot more this time round as Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne, and the glaring Michael Pena-shaped hole is ALMOST filled by a few other quality comedic turns from the likes of deadpan laugh-MASTER Bill Murray and David Dastmalchian (here returning in a VERY interesting but also very DIFFERENT role to what we’ve seen from him here before), as well as a surprise returning face (ahem) from this trilogy’s past. Meanwhile, alongside Majors there are other similarly noteworthy series newcomers who make BIG IMPRESSIONS, from Z Nation and The Mandalorian’s Katy O’Brien (who’s been a growing favourite of mine for a little while now), who’s a completely EPIC badass I wanna see A LOT more of in the future as hard-nosed Quantum freedom fighter Jentorra, to Kathryn Newton (Supernatural, Freaky), making the role of Scott’s now (pretty much) full-grown daughter Cassie ENTIRELY her own, and she’s clearly got a MAJOR future ahead of her in the MCU herself now she’s started carving out her own super-powered secret identity (roll on Young Avengers, I say!). The movie may be another flawed, somewhat unwieldy and occasionally downright CLUNKY beast, but the franchise is still managing to stand up where it counts, and compared to the likes of Thor: Love & Thunder and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever it definitely holds up a good deal better in its own right. Most of all, though, it’s A WHOLE LOT of pure, unadulterated FUN, which is ultimately exactly what you want from a big primary-coloured superhero blockbuster. In the end, it still remains to be seen if the MCU can be clawed back from the brink it’s still teetering perilously on the edge of, but despite all that’s still wrong with it, this is at least a VERY SMALL step back in the right direction …

24. THE PALE BLUE EYE – largely sneaking in under the radar on Netflix to start the New Year off, the latest offering from highly acclaimed indie writer-director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Black Mass, Antlers) is, much as we’d likely expect from such a consistently varied, genre-hopping filmmaker, a strange, unique and deeply intriguing beast of a film. Adapted from Louis Bayard’s well-received speculative fiction novel about a young Edgar Allan Poe aiding the investigation of a bafflingly macabre murder in the US Military Academy at West Point in the early 1830s. Christian Bale returns with typical stoic, intense and magnificently brooding megawatt presence for his THIRD leading man tour of duty for Cooper (after Out of the Furnace and Hostiles) as Augustus Landor, a former West Point graduate-turned misanthropic former detective brought in to lead the investigation into the brutal hanging and evisceration (with additional heart-removal) of a young cadet that’s baffling the faculty and local police, which is soon compounded when additional bodies start piling up. He’s aided in his endeavours by another cadet, the young Poe himself (played to PERFECTION by Harry Potter’s own Harry Melling, continuing his meteoric and deeply impressive rise to prominence with another TOUR-DE-FORCE performance here), while the clues lead to a variety of deeply troubling twists and revelations as well as an intriguing collection of suitably odd and often highly charismatic characters played by the sterling likes of Lucy Boynton, Toby Jones, Simon McBurney and a fascinatingly unusual turn from Robert Duvall, although the real standout here is a truly MAGNIFICENT career-best performance from Gillian Anderson. Cooper piles on the story’s doom-laden gothic atmosphere to great effect throughout while cranking up the slowburn and deeply uncomfortable suspenseful tension throughout, while the plot is nothing short of MACHIAVELLIAN in its levels of ingenious labyrinthine intelligence, dropping an ultimate denouement that you really have to be paying SERIOUS ATTENTION to see coming, and the production design, costumes, period detail and, most of all, the thoroughly MOODY bleak-midwinter cinematography make for a freezing cold but thoroughly rewarding feast for the eyes for the most discerning film-fanatic. Altogether Cooper’s delivered another winner, and I hope he continues to make films this good well into the future.

23. DOOR MOUSE – Avan Jogia may be best known as an actor in fare like Caprica, Zombieland: Double Tap and Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, but his debut feature as a writer-director definitely shows he’s got a lot of potential as a genuine filmmaking talent moving forward. This is an edgy, offbeat and enjoyably quirky little indie oddity that CLEARLY doesn’t care to play by anyone’s conventional rules, telling its unapologetically DARK and dirty little story the way IT WANTS TO without ever trying to spell its message out for the viewer. Riverdale’s Hayley Law is, as ever, simply MESMERISING as Mouse, a tough, hard-bitten burlesque dancer looking to make a better life for herself as a comic book creator, only for fate to throw a wrench in the works for her when girls at her club start disappearing under mysterious circumstances. Her resulting investigation leads to the shocking realisation that they’re being kidnapped into a life of sexual slavery, and it looks like she’s going to have to make a bold and very dangerous choice in order to effect a rescue … as always, Law simply OWNS the screen, powering the story along with equal parts guarded bravado and well-hidden wounded vulnerability, and she’s ably supported by the likes of Keith Powers (Straight Outta Compton) as Mouse’s best friend Ugly, the club’s unassuming but VERY capable bouncer, the great Famke Janssen as Mama, the club’s owner and Mouse’s laconic mother figure, and Jogia himself as her ex-boyfriend, local drug-dealing hood Mooney. The plot twists and turns with suitably pulpy skill while Mouse’s comic book bleeds into the narrative through striking imagery and quirky little animated episodes, while the film tackles big, dark themes with an unflinching eye and refuses to deliver easy answers, particularly in the cathartic but suitably JET BLACK ending. This is a hell of a debut for a promising new filmmaking talent, then, and I’d LOVE to spend some more time with Mouse herself if Jogia and Law are willing …

22. SHAZAM: FURY OF THE GODS – it’s interesting that, at least on here, the DC Cinematic Universe (AKA the DCEU) has managed to stand up so well this past year, especially given the recent MAJOR upheavals that have rocked the franchise as a whole. Not least because said Universe is essentially about to get hit with a Hard Reset under the guidance of new DC Studios CEO James Gunn, so none of this even MATTERS any more going forward … certainly this fact has NOT been lost on cinemagoers, who were already starting to pull away when Black Adam came out in late 2022 and subsequently seemed content to STAY away IN DROVES for this one, likely waiting to give it a go in the privacy and safety of their own homes once it hit streaming. In a way this sounded a pre-emptive death knell for the DCEU which I was genuinely sceptical about it recovering from … which is a shame, because 2019’s Shazam! was one of the franchise’s BEST FEATURES, a gleefully anarchic post-modern deconstruction of the overblown superhero antics the franchise largely glorified before while never taking itself particularly seriously but simply playing itself with just the right amount of knowing wink-and-nod. Even more of a shame, then, that this follow-up has proven to be SUCH a performance TURKEY, because it’s JUST AS GOOD as the first one, taking all the lessons learned from the first movie to heart and delivering more of everything that really WORKED once again while trying something new and fresh to expand on this little corner of the Universe with impressive aplomb and consummate skill.

Returning director David F. Sandberg (Lights Out) once again delivers in HIGH STYLE and customary spooky flair as he and returning screenwriter Henry Gayden (Earth To Echo, There’s Someone In Your House), along with Fast & Furious franchise lynchpin scribe Chris Morgan, expand on the adventures of coming-of-age young hero Billy Batson (Andi Mack’s Asher Angel) and his (still unnamed) superpowered alter ego (Zachary Levi), alongside his now similarly gifted teenaged foster siblings, as the Daughters of Atlas – Hespera (Helen Mirren), Kalypso (Lucy Liu) and Anthea (Rachel Zegler), a trio of immensely powerful but (somewhat) morally dubious classical Greek goddesses – come to claim their powers for their own in order to rejuvenate the Tree of Life and punish Mankind for its wickedness. The usual existential high stakes, then. Angel and Levi are, once again, ON FIRE here, the former star of Chuck in particular once again proving what an undisputable comedic MASTER he is while they both deliver MAGNIFICENTLY in the dramatic moments too, while their returning co-stars and sterling veteran support are once again just as great as before, It’s Jack Dylan Grazer particularly getting to really SHINE this time round in a particularly WEIGHTY role that nonetheless once again manages to utilise his own impressive comedic talents to full effect too, while it’s also GREAT to see This Is Us’ Faith Herman get a much more expanded role this time round as the irrepressible Darla; Djimon Hounsou, meanwhile, also gets a lot more to do as he returns as the enjoyably crabby and pompous Wizard Shazam, who’s none too happy with Billy for breaking the staff last time round and setting this all off in the first place. The Daughters, meanwhile, are FANTASTIC antagonists, Liu and Mirren clearly enjoying the opportunity to be flamboyant, majestic and over-the-top in proper Shakespearean

style, while Zegler invests “Anne” with a good deal more moral fibre and complexity as the most sympathetic (and ultimately conflicted) of the trio. Sandberg and co again deliver IN SPADES on the action, atmospherics, gorgeously exotic design and sheer creativity which made the first movie such an unexpected treat, while also delivering more of that winning, sometimes downright SCREWBALL BONKERS humour to keep it entertaining and let you know that, just like its predecessor, this film knows FULL WELL how ridiculous it is and is fully prepared to just OWN IT. The end result is, ultimately, one of the best of the closing slate of DCEU films, which just makes it even sadder to think that they probably won’t continue the story once the franchise reboots.

21. GODZILLA MINUS ONE – as much as I LOVE the new efforts of Warner Bros’ impressively robust Monsterverse Expanded Universe to bring the greatest big screen kaiju of them all to life, I am not even REMOTELY surprised that it took a Japanese writer-director to truly get right down to the heart of the character with what feels like the truest, most respectful and, quite simply, VERY BEST big screen reworking of the classic original to date. Mostly I just count myself lucky I was able to find a showing at my local cinema that I could actually get to – this is definitely one of those features that really does DESERVE to be seen on the BIG screen. Writer-director Takashi Yamazaki certainly has an impressive track record, having helmed the likes of Space Battleship Yamato, The Great War of Archimedes and Lupin III: The First, but even so, this came somewhat out of the blue to not only become a MASSIVE, runaway hit in Japan but also in foreign markets, particularly blowing away western audiences who are universally praising it as one of THE greatest movies of this decade so far. All right … from a purely critical point of view, I may not quite think THAT about this, but this IS an EXTREMELY GOOD FILM, Yamazaki guiding an impressively game cast and clearly deeply committed crew to create a work of rare emotional power and uplifting intensity that tells a breathless tale of the unbreakable power of the human spirit even in the face of HORRIFIC cataclysmic events … a theme which has, of course, remained close to the hearts of the Japanese ever since Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which famously directly informed Ishiro Honda’s beloved original. This time round, Godzilla is a pure, monstrous and thoroughly TERRIFYING force of nature throughout the film, a devastating and unstoppable mutated aberration created by the fallout of America’s H-bombs, which is unleashing unfathomable chaos across post-World War II Japan, leading a band of desperate civilians to take matters into their own hands and attempt a desperate stand to stop the horror before all is lost. Ryunosuke Kamiki (probably best known for his years of work as one of Studio Ghibli’s key voice actors) proves a compellingly fallible hero as deeply traumatised failed kamikaze pilot Koichi Shikishima, who finds himself battling internal demons even worse than the monster he’s up against in the real world, ably supported by Minami Hanabe (The Great War of Archimedes) as Noriko, the spirited young adoptive mother that Koichi takes in after returning from the war and forms a tight bond with, Hidetaka Yoshiaki (Always: Sunset On Third Street) as Professor Kenji Noda, the former Naval weapons engineer who becomes Koichi’s mentor, and Munetaka Aoki (Rurouni Kenshin) as Sosaku Tachibana, a former Naval fighter mechanic suffering from his own deep-seated traumas after the War. This is an interesting departure from the classic Kaiju cinema recipe, because while the Big G is definitely a powerful and potent threat that casts a very BIG shadow over events here, Minus One is ultimately less of a monster movie than a movie with a monster IN IT, Yamazaki preferring to focus on the human story and concentrate our attention on the horrors these people have to endure at the unfathomably massive claws of this terrible creature, certainly physical but predominantly mental and emotional. That’s not to say it ain’t suitably potent in the action stakes, EASILY delivering some suitably THRILLING set-pieces while the creature himself and the chaos he unleashes is portrayed with impressively executed visual effects flair … it’s just that, ultimately, this is a film which is much more of a triumph of GREAT WRITING, peerless direction and awards-worthy performances from an astonishing cast. In other words, it’s just a really GREAT FILM, period. Which makes this something TRULY SPECIAL after all, I guess …

#2023 in movies #sick #sick movie #how to blow up a pipeline #cocaine bear #the flash #the equalizer 3 #ant man and the wasp quantumania #the pale blue eye #door mouse #door mouse movie #shazam fury of the gods #godzilla minus one

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