#AGHHH I'M GONNA END MYSELF

[prettymrswright]

not in the way I want to. (s,f)

pairing: shuri udaku x black!fem!reader

background: you and shuri met in college while the young prodigy was freshly on the rise in the media for her latest creations. the two of you were inseparable from the very first class you had together. many people would assume the two of you to be romantic, but you guys knew it wasn’t like that. you’ve had the same boyfriend since freshman year, and up until recent events, considered yourself straight (curious at most). shuri wasn’t too fond of him, and initially, it perplexed you. but what happens when trouble arises in ‘paradise’, and hidden feelings are revealed?

content warning: fluff, smut (18)+, sub switch!shuri, dom switch!reader, explicit language, dirty talk, pet!names, overstimulat!on, oral (both receiving), strap (reader receiving), scissor!ng, finger!ng (both receiving), rough!gestures, praise!kink, multiple orgasms, mentions of coming out, cheating

word count: 9.6k translations: nkosazana, princess. usana, baby. mhlobo wam, my dear. intombi entle, pretty girl.

authors note: y’all! hello everyone 🤭 i was gonna insert an intro but imma put it in my bio chile ik what y’all here for. i’m excited for this, this is my first fanfic on this app & y’all done woke up the writer in me again, these stories are so good!!! i’m usually a reader/consumer of the content but I love this community so I wanted to jump in there myself. i hope you guys love it, im gonna figure out the masterlist/requests/taglist thing if you guys want more. below tagged are my favoriteeee writers on here, baby y’all write down!!! oh and baby this is SMUT, okay we ain’t come here for play play! 🤣 no need for likes or reblogs, just wanna hear y’all feedback in the comments! (divider by @firefly-graphics)

@inmyheadimobsessed @pinkwright @generallysapphic @vixentheplanet @ventingfanfics @zayswriting @vampzx

"sssshit, baby wait--" you hissed through slightly parted lips as the princess's hands slid all over you, one finding its way to your entrance making teasingly slow circles. she brings you closer to her chest and lowers her pretty lips to your ear. "please don't deny me, nkosazana" she says with a low tone, sending chills down your spine. "i've been waiting so long." and that she has been. and you'd be a fool to deny her any longer. you fully surrender to her touch, and as soon as you relax, she sends her slim, polished, ringed finger up your pussy, pumping with a curve, sure to touch your center. "aghhh--" you let out a sharp wince and bite the corner of your bottom lip, preventing your scream. she then slips another finger & with each pump, she coos your praises sending you into overdrive. "shuri i'm so close please--" she moans at the sight of your reaction, pleased to have been successful in pleasing you. "let it go for me, usana, that's it" "fuck!" you cry out. "I love you so much" you throw your head back into her neck and flutter your eyelids into a slow shut, anticipating your release. 3 seconds away from arriving and-- ERRRR!! ERRRR!! ERRRR!! you launch your body up rapidly at the sound of your alarm, panting, attempting to catch your breath. "ugh," you groaned, as you turned over to silence the machine, almost breaking it with the force you applied. that was weird. this was the third time this week alone that you have had a wet dream about shuri. even weirder that you were annoyed at its end. the two of you have never been intimate; you weren't even attracted to women. sure you two were close, but it never exceeded its platonic state. awoken by your sudden movement and noise, your boyfriend, Jalen, turns over to you, eyes still shut. "mm, you good baby?" he asks, still half asleep, not totally interested anyway. "yea i'm cool, just startled that's all." halfway through your sentence, he was fast asleep again. you rolled your eyes before grabbing your phone to send a much anticipated text. "Happy Birthday to one of the realest, flyest, smartest, coolest, and kindest people to ever tread this floating rock. I love you! Oh-- and you a bad bitch too." you giggle at your dry humor. tonight was your friend Sevyn’s birthday. Sev had been there for you and Jalen all throughout college. she helped coach y'all through y'all issues both together and individually. she had been there emotionally, mentally, and even sometimes financially. she was an outstanding friend, and it was important that you made tonight special for her. you decided you would get up early and run some errands before the event tonight. as you rise up out of bed, you lightly stretch out your limbs, and walk to the bathroom to get ready for the day. after your normal face and dental hygiene routine, you prepare to take a warm shower. sliding down your underwear, the crotch of your lace peels off your body like a banana, slowly being attached to your skin by the slick caused by the series of imaginative events. it made your skin hot, leaving you slightly embarrassed at the fact that even affected you like that.

as you run your shower, you're certain Jalen was still sleep, and he needed to be up getting ready too.

"Jalen!--" You shout out of the bathroom. "hmmm?," he groans in annoyance, proving you right. "you know we got somewhere to be right?," you semi-yell and wait for his response. "I'm up, I'm up" he says, not convincingly at all. lately, he had been constantly putting off important things, or 'forgetting' them and you didn't know what the root of the issue was. It just seemed like he lacked interest lately. you just blamed it on his work, since it had been requiring his attendance overtime recently. spending all that time could drain somebody for sure. you were sure he meant no true harm. you take a hot, brisk shower, filling up the bathroom with vanilla, white birch, velvety rose and a drop of strawberry nectar-- the scents emerging from your you're the one shower gel from bath and body works.

your mind begins to wander as you lather up your body. you couldn’t figure out why you were so on edge. You and Jalen haven’t been too sexually active the past weeks, or active at all in that matter, but even when you were, it never riled you up like you had been in that dream. maybe you were just missing the constant physical attention you received at the beginning of the relationship. but didn’t that mean you would’ve had a dream about him?

today was so exciting. you had been so emerged in your own adulting, you barely had time to see your friends. you couldn't wait to link back up with sevyn, riri, and shuri. at the end of your shower, you dry off, lotion up, and get dressed in your fav, emerald green, 'running errands' sweatsuit. you put your thick, kinky hair in two space buns, slip on your AF1's and grab your things. walking past the bedroom you hear the deafening snores coming from your boyfriend. you decided to leave anyway and go run errands on your own. .. in a three and a half hour timespan, you were able to get your nails and toes done, pick up some new accessories for your outfit, and get your hair freshly silk pressed. the first time you have put heat in your hair in 3 years, and the health benefits were showing. you had it up in pin curls, and tucked away.

after your errands, you head to the venue and drop off the balloons, the cake, and the shoes you set out for Riri to match her outfit. Sev had no idea she was having a party. she knew you guys were taking her out tonight. you helped set up for a little before you headed out. as you go back home to get ready, you walk in and see Jalen on his game. "Baby, we gotta leave in a couple of hours. How have I managed to knock out my whole day and you ain't move but 3 feet?," you spat, visibly annoyed. "Oh uh, actually," he began, "I can't make Sev's tonight." you walk closer, scanning your boyfriend's facial expressions and body language, waiting for the punchline. "What do you mean you can't make Sev's? We been planning this for weeks, J."

he sighs in a somewhat sympathetic tone before standing to meet your gaze. "I know, babe, I'm sorry. Work called ag--" you cut him off, ready to spazz, but trying your hardest to remain a least a little level headed. "Work? you had all this time to put in for today, J. I mean, damn, they need you there, late, every day?" he pulls your body closer to him and lifts your chin to meet him eye level. "I'm sorry. I'll make up to you and Sev, you know I'm good for it. " he exclaims before slowly pecking your lips. you slightly shudder at the interaction, the most you have gotten in weeks. you roll your eyes before turning to walk away and he pops you on your ass. "Aye, don't give me that 'tude, aight." Jalen laughs. "Go finish getting sexy. And make sure I get my pictures!" he trails off to the bathroom.

you were disappointed, but decided you wouldn't let that get the best of you. you go back into your room and begin to set up your vanity dresser/mirror, in glam mode. you plug in your speaker and shuffle your caribbean vibes playlist, pre-gaming before the festivities. you took off your clothes, leaving you in your panty and bra set, and turned up the lights beaming from your vanity mirror. nothing could ruin this night, not even Jalen's lack of attendance. you decided to text the groupchat to check everyone's status. m'baku's big toe

you: ahem, hearye, hearye. i hope you hoes is getting ready! riri: girl i been getting ready, yk beauty takes time. or do you? idk you be lookin' a lil questionable 🥴 you: girl, fuck you! 🤣 shuri: I’m quicker than you both. 🙄 I’m dressed and out the door before you could attach your second false lash. sev: what you guys wearing?🙃 you: aht aht! it don't matter what we wearing, it's YOUR birthday. sev: i know, but i still don't know where you guys are taking me, i don't want to be over or under dressed😩 riri: girl you could come to the corner store in a disco ball. it's YOUR DAY. you: no, exactly shuri: whatever you guys wear, I'm sure it'll be glorious. now please hurry, i'm falling asleep!

you smile brightly at the texts laying out before you. one thing your friends could always do, was boost your mood. you breeze through your makeup, pausing mid-blend and mid-bake to buss a quick whine or to shout lyrics at the mirror with your gun finger emotes up.

you cocoa butter and oil up your body, giving it that shine and glow. you loved to look like you were glowing when you were dressed up. you slip on your black, mini, spaghetti strap body-con dress with a small slit in the thigh. you put on your sandal strap heels with the black base and clear straps. you place the single gold chain with a heart-shaped herb pendant on your neck, and the gold name plate bracelet to match both gifted from Shuri. It went perfectly with your outfit and the gold accents in the black hand purse you chose to wear for the night. you let your pin curls down and let them fall, slightly below your collarbone. you grab your favorite scent, instant crush by mancera, and give a spritz to all your intimate areas. glancing over yourself in the mirror, you have to say; you totally outdone yourself. it's been a while since you gave yourself this much attention to your appearance and it was well overdue. Jalen pops his head the room, dressed and seemingly in a rush. "alright babe, I'm out. have fun tonight and be safe." he turns out before you can even respond. "you didn't tell me how I looked!" you yell, trying to catch his ear before it was outside. "you look great as always! Love you, bye!" and with that the door shut. it's not that you needed to hear him say it to confirm how you looked, it was no question. but it's always nice to hear it from your partner. you shake it off and hype yourself up in the mirror before your phone begins to ring. it was Riri. you swipe to answer and were met with an enthusiastic exclamation. "We outsideeee!" Riri shouts, followed by cheers from the rest of the group. "Aowww!" you chuckle. "I'm on my way out now." you begin to walk out the door and towards the black Mercedes SVU truck, driven by Shuri. the windows roll down and it is an immediate uproar.

"Bombaaaa, what a gyal suh pretty, man eeee??!" Sev says flick-snapping her fingers, accentuating her Jamaican accent. "No, you look tf goodt! This how you step out for your friend, okay!" Riri says smiling ear to ear. Shuri's reaction is delayed but only because she's trying to take it all in. you were beautiful to Shuri, in every way, and she never hesitated to tell you that. Immediately she felt all the feelings she felt when she first met you rush to her heart , her throat and her stomach. If pupils could take shape, hers would be shaped in hearts. looking at her and waiting for her reaction, you catch her scanning your body and getting flustered. It was silent for a minute until she snaps back to the present moment. "Damn." she breathes out, causing everyone to fill up the rest of the silence with laughter. you hop in the backseat with Riri, admiring her orange turtleneck dress and her small straight back feed-ins. you guys take off, riding out about 20 minutes to your destination. every few minutes or so, you and Shuri would exchange a glance in the rear view mirror, slightly making you nervous. it wouldn't have been the first time, but this time was particularly making you feel a way. she had on a white hoodie and matching white joggers, a pair of 1's and a single plaited gold chain. she smelled of satin and eucalyptus, a strong but soothing scent. the fingers attached to her tattooed hands were freshly polished with a clear coat, reflecting a glare off of the traffic lights as her hands rested on the wheel. her undercut was freshly buzzed, emphasizing the powerful structure of her face. she was breathtaking. your mind began to wander, if you weren't mistaken, in the direction of the dream you had the previous night. before it could get too deep, your thought was interrupted.

"Time out," Sev turns to face you from the front passenger. "Where is J?" you sigh, initially forgetting all about him. "He had to work late, he told me to tell you he'd make it up to you." "Yo, that man is gonna work himself right into an early grave" Riri exclaimed. shuri scoffs at the sentence. you look up, interested in what she thought. "That's some bullshit. Ain't that much overtime in the world." she spat. you knew the two weren't the best of friends. but this comment was clearly shade. you got somewhat defensive. "What are you implying? I mean, he is the main provider of the house. It sound like his priorities are straight to me." you say, colder than you would've liked to. Shuri stared off into the distance of the road, giving a condescending hum before responding. "Mmm. Is that what it is? Okay. I mean one of your closest friends of 4 years' birthday sounds worth prioritizing to me, but what do I know, right?" this was the most you've seen Shuri get aggravated over him. Or anything for that matter. and in a weird way, her protectiveness made you feel something you wouldn't want to admit aloud. The silence after was bitter, but quickly broken after Sev jumps in. "Hey, look, it's fine" she lowly smiles and places her hand on mine. "I'm sure he didn't mean any harm by it. I'm with my girls tonight, let's just have fun." Shuri immediately shoots you an apologetic look. although she didn't regret what she said, she was always gentle with you & didn't want you to feel otherwise. you give her a slight nod and half smile, letting her know it was okay. I mean after all she was right. how could you wither away all your time somewhere where you didn't even need to, especially when you had the choice to be there for your friend? we park and step out the car, walking towards the venue. you could now see everybody in their entirety. the assignment was very clearly understood.

Sev looked beautiful. her locs she had been growing since the 3rd grade were up tightly in a neat, high bun. she had on a silver sequined body suit with a white mini skirt and white open toe heels to match. the windows were made with an ashed out material on the outside, only being able to see the lights reflecting. you, shuri, and riri shoot each other excited looks as Sev walks up first. "Damn, this restaurant is big!" Sev says, having no idea what she was getting ready to walk into. "She don't got a clue in the fucking world--" Riri says under her breath, imitating the Druski meme. simultaneously, you and Shuri tap her arm to shut her up, laughing all the while. she opens the door and everyone turns around. "Surprise!" Everyone yells and cheers, phone light cameras on, brightening up the space even more. all of Sevyn's closest friends and family were in attendance. you and the crew spent weeks formulating this. you knew Sev was homesick, and you wanted to make it as special as possible. the DJ plays Barbie Doll by Vershon as she walks out, giving her her dream entrance.

the different color fluorescent lights lit up the entire space, making the dance floor look electric. there were purple, gold, and silver confetti balloons bunched together and tied in every corner. there was even two 2 balloons tied above the special chair you guys decorated for her to sit as you sung happy birthday. "Oh my g--" Sev turns around to us, hands on her now heavily beating heart. her eyes immediately well with tears. "No you guys didn'tttt" you guys pull her in a group hug. "Yes we did!" Riri says, grabbing a napkin off the side table to pass to me. "Hey hey, don't cry sister, you gon' mess up your pretty makeup!" you pout, using the napkin Riri passed you to blot the corners of her eye. Sev was so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. she loved you guys dearly, but she missed her family back home as well. she mouthed 'I love you' and blew a kiss before she turned to make her rounds around the room. the three of you made a couple rounds yourself and headed for the bar, ready to get your night started. .. about an hour goes by, and Riri rounds everybody up around Sev's chair to sing happy birthday. Shuri brings out her favorite-flavored, cookies and cream ice-cream cake and lays it on the table before her. Happy Earthstrong, Bad Gyal Sevyn! it reads, in purple letters, two gold 2's standing besides each other in the middle. she makes her wishes and blows out her candles, and from there, the real celebration begins.

as the night went on, the tunes were rolling in and at this point every one was tipsy and dancing. one of your favorite Afrobeats songs off of Wizkid's new album started playing. before you knew it, you felt yourself floating to the dance floor. you began to roll your hips, slow to the downbeat, eyes shut, feeling every word.

Mami You making me lose my eyes for other girls No do me something wey go make me stress Give me less of that, give me more of you Give me something I'll never want to lose, yeah

as you continuing dancing, you feel familiar hands slide around your waist and pull you into them. It was Shuri. she had been watching you dance and decided she no longer wanted you to do so alone. as she presses up against you, she begins to whine her hips, matching your rhythm. smiling to yourself, you slightly bend over, adding more dynamic to your movement. as a result, Shuri leans back and catches it. "You go girl," she says in the American accent she had been practicing so heavily lately, making the two of you laugh. you lift back up, keeping the whine more intimate, and she lowers herself to your ear. "You look stunning tonight, nkosazana." She says, sending a chill through you. she had called you that same thing in the dream. her nicknames for you sounded so much better in Xhosa than it did in English. "As do you, my love." you reply, still dancing. "I'm sorry for earlier," she begins, "I didn't mean to offend you. I just get protective when I feel my friends are being taken advantage of."

you slide your hands down to interlock over hers, which were placed around your waist, in an attempt to soothe her, wanting to forget the conversation happened. It works, as you feel her melt further into you. "Shuri it's okay, I promise. I appreciate you looking out, you know that. you were right anyway. he should've been here." you lift a hand to place a kiss on it. she uses that same hand and turns you around to face her, wrapping her arms around your waist. you smooth your arms around her neck and for a moment, it feels like it's only you two in the room. the two of you rock side to side, legs intertwined, in a kompa-like style and she brings herself to your ear and begins to lowly sing-hum the lyrics to the song. Who's gonna know? At the end of the day, I'm yours For the night only, baby, ooh Turn me on, I'm yours For the night only, baby, ooh Ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh you felt like you were dreaming again. was she singing these lyrics to you? or was that just something you wanted to hear? you pull back and make eye-contact with the royal girl, and she's looking at you with a look you've seen before, but just not in real life. "I've been dying to hold you just like this." She blurts out, not breaking the eye contact and you can feel a lump begin to form in your throat. you smile at her, slightly nudging her off. "what are you talking about? we're always affectionate with each other. you hold me all the time" you laugh. it was true. hugs and kisses weren't foreign to you two, and neither was dancing. but somehow this felt intense. "not in the way I want to." she says, making a triangle with her eyes from your left-eye, to your lips, to your right-eye. "and what way is that?" you say directly, almost seductively. you felt it slightly inappropriate to build upon this tension, but once you got in that flirtatious mode, it was hard to come out of it. however, it only happened when you were attracted to said person. and you admit shuri was beautiful, but it never occurred to you that your attraction had been more than just a friend admiring a friend. she picks up on your tone, taking it as a green light to continue.

“Like this.”

she says into your neck as she turns you back around, leaving 3 soft kisses down your collar bone.

you lightly hum in satisfaction and reach your hand around Shuri’s head, bringing her closer and pressing yourself on her pelvis. you drag your hand down her undercut and across her jaw, holding her face to your neck, keeping it warm. she shudders under your touch and lowly moans at your reaction to hers.

I've been waiting for you to come my way (my way)

Put the sun in my rainy day (rainy day)

For your type, I go wait for days, my girl

Girl, your type of feel no dey give me pain

Girl, your picture fits my frame

There for you in a thousand ways, my girl

For the night, for the night

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, ooh, yeah

“Come home with me, tonight Y/N.” she pleads. immediately you feel your knees buckle at the statement. you wanted to say yes so bad, but you couldn’t promise good behavior. And for that, it would be inappropriate for you to. besides you had to let Jalen in since he lost his key.

“I don’t know, Shuri. I gotta be home to open the door for J.” You say with slight disappointment in your tone of voice.

Before the Princess could respond, the two of you are interrupted by a loud mic feedback screech, followed by a very drunk and very happy announcement.

“Thank you everybody for coming out tonight!” Sevyn begins. “I’m so grateful for my beautiful family and my BOMB ASS FRIENDS, I’m having the time of my life, truly. One more year pan di fucka dem, how yuh mean?!!! “ The party erupts in cheers and mimicked mouth sounds of gunshots.

“And with that being said… IT’S SHOT O’CLOCK!!”

Beaming at her excitement, you match her energy. “SHOT O’CLOCK!!!”

Everybody takes their shot given out to them earlier throughout the night, raises it, and backs it. The music starts up again and people are back dancing. The four of you group up by the bar.

“So sis,” Riri starts, facing Sev. “Do you love it or do you love it?!”

“You guys are fucking unreal,” she says slurring. “I’m having so much fun. Thank you. All of you.” She hugs us each and begins to tear up again.

“You know we got your back like your spine do, Sev.” Shuri says, doing the handshake the four of you had created with her.

Riri’s phone buzzes and as she checks her notification, her face drops.

you all pick up on the shift in energy, but Shuri beats you guys to the chase.

“What’s wrong, Ri?” she asks attentively.

anticipating her answer, you look at her waiting for a response, and she immediately looks up at you.

“Y/N,…” She looked so sympathetic. As if something happened to you.

“What? what is it?” you began to get nervous.

Riri squeezes in between in all of us, sharing the view of the phone.

It’s a video sent to Riri’s instagram.

‘Ri, ain’t this your friends man?’

It was your boyfriend Jalen, wearing the same thing he had on when he left the house earlier that afternoon. In the bed, with another familiar face. It was his ex, Mya. the two were kissing. the video was captioned ‘never too far’ with the song “Can’t Leave Him Alone” by Ciara and 50cent attached to it.

a hot pit immediately formed in your stomach and you felt nauseous. Before you could think to cry, the tears were already flowing.

“Are you fucking serious!” Sevyn says, unaware of how loud she truly was, compliments of her inebriated nature.

“I’m sorry, sis. this is so fucked up.” Riri says rubbing your back.

work huh? he had been cheating the entire time. the lack of affection, the flopping on plans, forgetting important dates, no sex. the whole time you’ve been making excuses for him, considering his emotions and hardships, he had been occupying his time and energy somewhere else.

“That fucking jerk-off.” Shuri spat so harshly it almost made you jump. as you glanced over her face, you could see a dark, glossy glare in her eye and her jaw flexing from her biting down so hard. her Kimoyo beads turn a bright, glowy red, activating the mood generator she had added to it, just for shits and giggles in her free time. It meant anger. you knew that. she turns to you, noticing your state and cups your face and immediately wipes your tears with her thumbs.

“Listen to me,” she says, holding the attention she already previously grabbed. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, inside and out. This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. He didn’t deserve you then, and he doesn’t deserve you now.”

you nod at everything she says. you know she’s right, but the tears just wouldn’t stop flowing. it was hurtful. it was downright disrespectful.

“Girl, we can pack up all your stuff and you come stay with me,” Riri says very sweetly but very serious.

“Fuck that,” you laugh in between sniffles, with your thoughts residing in audacity. “That’s my shit. He could get out!”

“I know that’s right!” Sevyn says smacking her hand down on the bar countertop.

you all laugh. humor was how you four coped with everything. more than anything you were appalled at these series of events, but you wouldn’t let it sack your night. tonight is about Sevyn. You got yourself together, had a few more shots, and the four of you continued the night, as intended.

..

It was 1 AM and the night was over. everyone kissed and hugged goodbye and made their way out. Shuri had Sevyn over her shoulder, placing her gently in the backseat of the SUV. she was too drunk to function, but in Sevyn’s words, “The night wasn’t crunk, If I wasn’t drunk”

I laughed aloud at the thought of her saying that. we all hop in the car and Shuri being the most sober, barely even tipsy, drives everyone home. we get to Sev’s house first.

“I’m gonna stay with Sev and nurse her back to health.” Riri half chuckles, gathering all of her and Sev’s belongings.

“I am health!” Sevyn slurs, mixing up health and healthy. We all laugh.

“Yeah ok superstar.” Shuri smiles.

“Goodnight y’all,” you say warmly. “Happy Birthday again, Sev.”

“Goodnight, take it easy, okay Y/N/N?” Riri says to you. You give her a reassuring nod.

“Yeah and fuck that nigg—!” was the last thing you heard before the back door shut. You laugh uncontrollably, knowing it was Sevyn, making it clear she had your back. you wait until they get inside and Shuri drives off. for a while, it's silent, until you break it. "Thank you, Shuri." you began, sheepishly, fidgeting your fingers. "For speaking life into me, and making sure I enjoyed my night." you could see her crack a small smile. "Of course, Y/N. What kind of friend would I be not to?" she reaches out and rests her hand on your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. the gesture makes you squirm. Pretending not to notice, Shuri asks, "Did you want to stop by anywhere before we reach your house? Something to eat? Or maybe an airbed?" "Shut up!," You burst into laughter, nudging her shoulder. She was very good with lightening moods, and she was also very funny. "Actually," you began, feeling that bold feeling you had felt earlier. "I was hoping you could take me home. to your home." you say, this time, with the full intent of sounding seductive. you reach over and rub the back of her neck, ever so gently. "Oh, uh-" you notice the 'adam's apple' portion of her neck move as she swallows, caught off guard by your sudden gesture. "Yea, definitely, that's fine with me." her kimoyo beads then started to glow a dark fuchsia. Your head tilted at the sight. That was new. You were there the millions of times that Shuri had ran tests on this feature, but you couldn't recall seeing this color before. "What does fuchsia mean, Princess?" You turn to her, genuinely interested. normally, she hated when you were formal with her. but as of these recent events, she was sort of turned on by it. she looks at you, and with a shy, stuttered tone she replies, "Arousal."

"Oh.." at a loss for words, you feel the pace of your heartbeat pick up, in both places of which a heartbeat may reside in a woman. she was aroused by you. a gentle touch alone from you made her arousal grow and the thought of that made your curiosity quickly turn into certainty. you wanted her bad, and was over pretending that you didn't.

You finally park, and the two of you head inside Shuri's apartment complex, which she had owned and had other people rent out. you went up to the top floor and trailed off into the Princess's palace. Shuri's home was so warm. Welcoming. the decor filled with blues, whites, and silvers, mimicking her lab back at her home Wakanda. The two of you enter her spacious room and immediately she begins to undress. she slips off her hoodie, exposing her toned and muscled arms elongating out of her wifebeater. her beauty was so effortless. And in that moment you could only think of those arms holding you. Or restraining you. either would suffice. "I'm gonna hop in the shower, Y/N," she begins. "You're welcome to shower here or in any of the guest bathrooms. It's up to you." "I'm gonna go in the guest room. Where are your towels?" you ask. she goes in her closet and comes out with a baby blue towel and two wash rags, one white and one blue, and hands them to you. you notice they're the same set from when you slept over last summer. "I never used them and purposely and kept it separated from all my others. I know blue's your favorite." She says, almost bashful. "How sweet, Shuri, thank you," you swoon at the gesture. that's another thing you adored about Shuri. She was so attentive. she knew everything about you & incorporated that information into thoughtful gestures like those. It seemed small but it made your day. "Anything for you, nkosazana." she says, sealing her statement with a wink. There that word went again. Princess. It was like she was taunting you. you smiled bleakly, and made your way to bathroom. the words lingered in your mind. did she mean anything?

as the hot water steams up the bathroom and falls against your skin, rinsing it of the dove body wash it was lathered with, your mind began to wander again. you began to have flash backs. when the two of you first met, your first 1 on 1 hang out, the shows she'd come see you perform in, her taking you to meet her family back in Wakanda. You felt safe in her presence. Comfortable, relaxed, inspired. Beautiful. Something you haven't felt in someone for a really long time. And it hit you. You were in love with Shuri Udaku. You weren't sure what to do with that information. It would mean two things, forcing you to face the truth; One, you were attracted to women. And two, your relationship with Jalen wasn't at all what you painted it out to be all these years. Oddly enough, you still felt bad for carrying on the way you knew you were about to. Not that bad though. after your shower, you walk back into Shuri'’s room, seeing her in her tank & a pair of boxers, at her desk, finishing up some last minute work drafts like the workaholic she was. you knock lightly and break her focus. "Hey," you say meekly, and before you know it, you're back into tears. "Hey, hey, hey, come here. " Shuri quickly pulls you into her lap. "Fuck him. I want you to fully process your emotions, but I don't wanna see two many tears shed over that waste. unless they are tears of joy, of course." she rubs the sides of your shoulders and kisses the back of them. but it wasn't even that. the truth was, you were overwhelmed. of course it hurt seeing what you saw earlier. but through all that turmoil, the only thing you could seem to think of was your feelings for Shuri. "Shuri-," you say, through a sob. "What is it my love, talk to me." Shuri's face grew with concern as she positioned you to now be face to face with her. "I think I'm in love with you," you manage to get out, eyes overflowing with tears. Shuri's reaction was mixed with shock, relief, and excitement. she had been in love with you since she meant you. It had been hell to pretend like she wasn't. she was equally allured by the content of your character as she was your pretty face and equally perfect figure. sure, she was a little jealous watching you be with someone else, but it wasn't jealousy alone. she knew Jalen wasn't shit. It just had to come up in the physical form. “Oh, Thank Bast.” Shuri says, exhaling heavily.

you playfully tap her shoulder.

“Shuri, I’m serious!” you say, almost pouting.

“I know, I know. All jokes aside, you don’t know how happy I am to hear those words from you.” she says lowly, staring into your eyes.

“Really?” you say, not knowing what to think of the situation just of yet.

“Really.” she confirms. “I’ve been in love with you since I met you, Y/F/N.”

hearing those words sent a rush all over your body. if you could be desired by anyone, especially in that way, it would be Shuri. a woman of her beauty and intelligence being enamored by you was way more than flattering. The more time passed, the more your arousal grew hungrily. "So come show me." your response sounding more lewd than intended.

you positioned your body to sit on one of her legs. you grab her face and bring it towards you, kissing her slow and passionately. you both moan into the kiss, breaking the tension that had been so heavily building over the night. a wave of bliss washes over you immediately. as you deepen the kiss, Shuri’s hands travel up your sides and lands on your ass. you slide your hands up the back of her neck and tug lightly at her head of curls. you adjust yourself, purposely separating the boundary of your wrapped towel and your lower region, and you begin to grind your clit against her thigh. you could feel the secretion sliding between your skin.

“Y/N..” Shuri leaves a light moan onto your lips, lifting up for air. "Yes?" you begin kissing down her neck, lightly sucking. "I-is this okay?" Shuri could barely get out. "We don't have to"

you stood up, still hovering over her and peeled off your towel, dropping it to the floor. you take her finger swipe it across your entrance, allowing her to feel the mess she was beginning to create. you sucked yourself off of her, keeping your gaze onto her. "Does that answer your question, Princess?" you say, in an almost sinister tone. "Fuck.." Shuri trailed off, pleasantly surprised at your behavior. without any further question, she lifts you up with one arm and walks you over to the bed, laying you down. you wanted her so bad. this would be your first time with a woman, and although you were nervous, you were ready. you could easily figure out what she liked. you seen it in your dreams a million times. Shuri began kissing you all over your face, traveling down to your neck, eventually stopping at your chest. she hovers over your right nipple, the breeze from her breath causing you to jolt. she slides her hand up your torso and cups your other breast, lightly tugging on the nipple. she slightly drops her jaw, allowing her dribble to fall and coat your puffed nipple. she cleans it up before it droops below the surface. simultaneously, she drives her knee in between your legs, just close enough for the tip of her knee and your clit to kiss. you gasp at the quick exchange, your body squirming under her touch, semi-begging for more. "Stop teasing me, Shuri, please," you breath out. "Mm, mm." she shakes her head, detaching her lips from around your areola. "I've been waiting a long time for you. I'm taking my time. " she gives some attention your other nipple before traveling down your torso. she makes sure not to leave any skin on your body unloved. she wanted the way she truly felt to translate through her actions. she tugged you by the inside of your knees, pulling you closer to the end up of the bed, and kneeled down in front of your heat. "Shuriiii," you whined out, aching for her to do something. "What is it, usana?" she says, wanting you to be vocal. she was so deeply grateful to have heard you say the things she had only dreamt. "What do you need from me?" you had absolutely no problem being vocal. all your guilt, sadness, and confusion was out the window. all you wanted now was to make her feel how she made you in your dreams. sitting up on your forearms, you lock eyes with her, "put your mouth on her, please." "Yes, my love." she breaks eye contact with you and makes eye contact with your folds. "Hey, pretty girl," she cooes over your entrance. the seductive introduction made you melt like putty. She slides her two fingers up your slit, separating your folds, and exposing your now pulsating clit. In one quick motion, she wraps her pretty, royal lips around it and gives it a french kiss. "Yesss, fuck!--" you cry out. you been yearning for this moment, and seeing it come into fruition was driving you insane. still eating, shuri hums inside you, sending the vibrations through you. she slowly slides her fingers inside and begins pumping. you could feel the love at the end of her tongue, and you feel your eyes begin to well up. you throw your head back in intense pleasure. she taps the side of your hip twice, coming up to speak. "aht, aht. keep those pretty eyes on me, gorgeous" demanding your attention, still pumping. soon as your tear-filled eyes, meet hers, she adds another finger and begins to twist. "Ahh!" you pierce out a glass crushing scream, grabbing the sheet so hard you almost pop it off its corner. "I can't--" she silences your protest, shushing loudly, "yes you can baby, hold it for me, yeah?" wanting to be good for her, you just gave a weak nod. she lowers her lips back to your super sensitive bud, now edging it with the flat of her tongue. the combination of the two movements immediately tossed your stomach into knots, signaling a releasing creeping. "Shuri, I'm going to fucking cum--" you say through exhausted breath and gritted teeth. her expectations of you holding anything would soon be met with disappointment.

"I know baby, just a little while longer," she attempts to soothe you, failing terribly. she sucks one more time, slightly tugging at it, making the popping noise at the release. she takes her thumb and uses it as replacement for where her mouth was and uses her free hand to push your knees to your chest.

your legs involuntarily began to tremble and you knew you could hold it no longer.

"Baby," you gasp out, in a warning tone.

"come on, let it out." she gives you the green light and on command, you immediately pour out onto Shuri's fingers.

"Such a good fucking girl." she praises, and you ride out your O off of her fingers. she takes them out and lowers herself to your lips, giving you her fingers for the two of you to share. "You taste so good." she exclaims, moaning to herself.

you're a whimpering, moaning mess. you've never felt such an intense feeling in all the years your were in a relationship with that man. it awakens something in you, and you're ready to do whatever to make Shuri happy.

sitting up with her towering you, you and the Princess collaborate in lifting her shirt over her head. you take time admiring her slim but toned body and her small, perky and stiff breasts.

"You are so beautiful, Shuri." You say looking up to her, so very sincerely. she was really ethereal in every way. she had an androgynous vibe to her, being equally as pretty as she was handsome.

" I am a reflection of you, mhlobo wam." she replies before lifting your chin, placing a peck onto your lips. she always knew what to say.

you slide your fingers around the brim of her shorts before pulling them down, being greeted with her black boxers, being soaked at the front.

"Oh shit," you chuckle. "It's like that?" you look up at the now flustered girl. It was funny, but cute. as quick as she could be in control was as quick as she could become coy.

"It's not my fault," she says in a pouty tone. "You're just so--"

In the midst of her talking, you slip her out her boxers, lift her leg, and rest her foot on the tall bed post that stood beside you, exposing her pretty and dripping two-toned cunt. your eyebrows raised, surprised at her flexibility.

you let out a secluded breath, loving what you saw in front of you. "So..?" you ask, tauntingly, sliding your thumb up and down her middle.

“—Sexy.” her breath stifles, and her chest began to heave up and down.

“you think i’m sexy?” you taunt even further, now dipping your thumb in every one and again, enjoying watching her squirm.

“Y-yes,” her hips disobey her attempt to keep cool and begin bucking up.

“How sweet. Let me say, thank you.” you palm her plump bottom with both hands and pull your lips closer to her sweet spot. you lick a straight path from the bottom of her opening up and to the top and make a quick circle around her clit, sealing it with a kiss.

“Ohhh my f— Y/N..” Shuri felt as if she began to float. she had the prettiest girl at her mercy, and now she had her at her own. to see her underneath her, wanting her in the same way— the thought alone was enough for her cum.

“Tell me how you like it, Princess. Teach me.” you plead, wanting nothing more than to make her feel how she just made you. your eagerness to learn her body made her all the more excited to continue.

like a magnet, you attached your lips onto her second pair, and she guides you right where she wants you.

“Right there. S-slow, please.” she almost begs.

as asked, you rolled your tongue around her bud slowly. painfully slow. you were pleased with her taste & moaned in confirmation.

“Ughh,” her breathing becoming more unsteady, “Fuck, that feels so good, nkosazana.” proud and driven by the praise you were just given, you speed up your pace, just a little. this time, making it sloppy and shaking your head in it. you raise a finger and trace it along her entrance, waiting for the confirmation that it was okay. she nods.

you strike a finger up briskly, tongue still attacking her clit.

“Yes!” she cries out, holding a tighter grip on the sides of your head. you give a few more pumps before slipping another finger, eager to send her over. pushing deeper and deeper, you notice her juices begin to trickle down your fingers.

“are you close, my love?”you chase her expressions for an answer.

“I’m so close, please don’t stop,” she whimpers out as you keep pumping. her eyes shut tight and her leg began to shake. she was a whimpering little thing. it was different from her normal, calm, masculine presenting energy. and you loved it.

you increase the pressure of your sucking and soon after you feel a rush of creamy substance floating down your tongue like a river. she sobs out as she comes down from her first O.

“Mmm.” you vocalize your satisfaction with her flavor. “thank you, princess.” you feel yourself oozing at the sight of her squirm.

“who— taught.. you.. that,” She says in between each gasp for air. you laugh at her possessive energy but flattered that your succeeded at your first attempt to please her.

gaining some of your leg strength back, you fall back on the bad, pulling Shuri on top of you and rolling over so that you were on top. you thought about this so many times and was ready to try it.

you spread her legs and lower your wet and pulsating clit to meet hers. feeling the warm & gushy sensation between you to caused you both to gasp at the same time.

“You so fucking nasty, my God.” Shuri groans aggressively, staring into your soul.

“For you. You damn right.” you bite back. you swooned at thought of being her fantasy. you were laying it all out for her, making her long term attraction worth it.

you held yourself up slightly, rocking back and forth, tribbing the nucleus of her treasure.

“That pussy feels so good on mine, fuck,” you moan, wanting to throw your head back but also not wanting to miss any reactions, for they were the navigator of your success rate.

“Shit!” her pretty brown eyes beginning to gloss over with water. she couldn’t believe how submissive she was acting, but she even more so couldn’t believe how filthy you were, especially involving her. you also couldn’t believe it either. to have never been with a woman, being with Shuri in this way felt so natural.

“Y/N please!” she cried out, grabbing your neck, pulling you forehead to forehead, the heart shaped herb necklace she gifted you now dangling in her face.

thrusting harder, you reach your hand up and massage her left breast, grazing her nipples with the edges of your nails.

the two of your bodies moved in the same patterns like a missing puzzle piece. you grabbed her by her face and kissed her passionately. uncontrollably moaning your mouth, she begins to cry, this time, letting her emotions take over her.

“I’m cumming, please, I can’t take anymore,” she reaches out to push your torso further away, but her hands are quickly pinned down over her head.

“I’m almost there baby, hold on.” You coo sweetly, noticing her begin to get overstimulated. You continue to thrust, picking up the pace to speed up your orgasm, talking Shuri through.

Shuri’s eyes began to roll back and her mouth was agape for so long from her silent cries, she started to drool.

“Shit,” you feel yourself getting ready to release. The sight of her under your control sped up the process by a whole lot. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming—fuck!” you began to whimper. By the time your juices flow out, Shuri let out a piercing screech, squirting all over you.

Shuri was now sobbing and shaking, violently. You wipe her tears and kiss all over her face, now laying beside her.

“I know baby, I know. Let it out,” you continue to kiss her and rub her to calm her down.

“I—I” she tries to vocalize something, but still hasn’t come down yet.

“Take your time, no need to rush.” you reassure her, still slightly out of breath yourself. you help her regulate her breathing and she finally makes out her sentence.

“I need to fuck you. Now.” she growled.

if she hadn’t before, the desire now was through the roof. this was the most aggressive you’d ever seen her-- also the most vulgar-- and after the damage you had just done to her, you were excited, but nervous to see how she would handle you.

her wobbly legs refraining her from being able to move as fast as she could, she hops up and limps over to her dresser draw, opening the top draw and taking out a pretty black, blue and silver strap. the design on it mimicking what would be the inside of a gadget. by it’s shiny and potent structure, you knew it was made of vibranium.

she slips the harness around her hips, tightening both ends to secure it, arms flexing in the process. effortlessly turning you on with every move.

“Come here, duchess.” she motions you over with two fingers. you immediately oblige, following her lead like a lost puppy.

she leads you over to the large mirror that resided on the wall on the other side of the bed. she swipes the slick from the middle of your entrance and uses it to lube up the tool.

“The safe word, is mango.” She began, looking at you through the mirror. “If it’s too much or it hurts, say that word, and i’ll stop immediately. Got it?”

you bite your lip nervously, and nod, doubting that you would ever be using it.

“Words, princess.” She says sternly, lifting up your chin.

“Y-yes.” you breathily respond. and just like that, you were back under her spell, ready to be used anyway she desired.

“There’s my girl.” She smirks before positioning herself behind you. something about her referring to you as her girl made your stomach erupt with butterflies.

you bent over and braced yourself on the mirror and suddenly you felt a poke at your entrance.

“You ready?” she asks. you nod way too eagerly. “I’m gonna count to 3… 1–“

before she ever got to two she slides her length up your canal and you gasp super sharply.

“Shuri!” you half moan, half growl, feeling good but snapping at her for cutting your time to prepare.

“Shh, you got it, come on,” she coaches. Shuri stroked her length in and out of you, slow and long, building up your anticipation.

“Shit!,” you spat, bitting down on your lip, adjusting to her length.

shuri had been developing this piece for a long time. she also was secretly restricting it for you, not knowing if you’d ever actually be together. but the very few times she did have other partners, she’d only use the regular silicone strap for them. only a woman of a certain poise and power was worthy of the contraption, and in this case, that woman was you. her intombi entle.

she had designed it to feel as close to skin as possible. she wanted you to feel the intimacy just as she did, being that she also designed it to allow her to feel you.

as she pumped in and out of you, your walls tightly clenched around her, almost fighting to keep her inside.

“Ugh,” Shuri grunted aloud. “Pussy so fucking tight.”

“Oh God,” you slur out. as your body was working overtime to stay cool, you feel yourself beginning to sweat profusely. your freshly done silk press now glued to your shoulders. “You feel so fucking good”

The Princess swiftly grabs your arms and folds them, locking them behind you. She holds up your perfect frame, forcing you to look at you both in the mirror.

“Look how pretty you look taking this dick, hmm?” she says lowly in your ear while speeding up her pace.

“Oh, fuck,” not having any control over what happens now, you begin to panic, the knot you now knew to be so familiar beginning to arise in your stomach.

“Say it. I wanna hear you,” she demands.

“Shuri, please,” you beg her to go easy on you, but she wasn’t having it. She gives an electrifying smack to your ass.

“Say. It.” She says through grit teeth, now with one hand full of your hair, slamming into you harder, directly on your g spot.

“I— aghhh!” you fight to get the words out. “I l-look s-so pretty taking th— this dick!”

she smiles sinisterly and quickly agrees. “Mm, yes you do.”

a question you usually scoff at arises, however, it’s a pleasure to hear the next sentence come from Shuri’s lips.

“Who’s pussy is this? Hm?” she knew exactly how to get you riled up. She so badly yearned to hear you surrender to her after watching you with someone else all this time. especially someone who didn’t deserve you.

“It’s yours, Shuri,” your words began to spill over like a fountain in sonic moans. “It’s yours, I’m yours, I belong to you!”

it was music to Shuri’s ears. you were hers. you said it, and that’s all the confirmation she needed.

“and don’t you ever fucking forget,” she spat.

hearing the royal speak so filthy and so rough was so shocking yet so enticing. her every word carried you closer and closer to your whit’s end.

still stroking, she yanks your head back and passionately kisses you, swallowing all your moans.

stomach tight, shuri’s strokes began to get sloppy, feeling your constant contract and release. she was quickly approaching her arrival.

“Shhhhuri, I’m about to—“ you began, almost snatching the words out her mouth.

“Cum. Cum with me, my pretty girl.” she gives 4 more sloppy pumps before she slides out, cumming all over herself; but not before you left a creamy, white ring all around her base. as soon as she comes out completely, you squirt out all over her lower region; something you had never done before. you squeal, in shock and excitement.

“You did such a good job, usana” Shuri pecks your lips and taps your slightly bruised ass. you beam at the praise she gives. she picks you up and carries you to the bed, gently laying you down before slipped off her harness and climbing in with you.

draping the covers over your naked bodies, you cuddle into Shuri, placing your head on her chest and she pulls you in closer. you throw your leg over her lower torso to get close as possible. you both listen to each other’s breath slowly come down to its original state. Shuri picks up and holds your hand that was previously laying on her chest, and kisses it. At peace and well satisfied, you feel yourself begin to drift off to sleep.

“not you falling asleep already,” Shuri laughs, mockingly.

usually you’d protest, but you let her rock on this one.

“I love you so much.” you mummur, gazing up at Shuri.

“I love you so much more. Thank you for trusting me with your body.” She says sincerely.

“I trust you with my life.” you say authentically as ever, overcome with feelings of euphoria.

“I trust you with mine.” she replies, almost instantly.

shuri lifts her hand, inviting you to do the handshake your friend group had made. the two added a special ending that nobody new about. the two of you share a blissful laugh at the comedic ending of it.

“Alright, my love, get some sleep.” Shuri rubs small circles on your back with one hand and rubs the leg thrown over her with the other.

“You got a boyfriend to break up with tomorrow.”

[whentherewerebicycles]

WAHH okay i was so scared that this nerve test was going to reveal that i've been being a huge baby and this level of pain is somehow totally normal for pregnancy carpal tunnel. but the attending doctor was like WHOA and could not believe i had any sensation in my hands at all given how severe the damage was. i do have permanent damage to the nerves unfortunately and i will need surgery on both wrists + physical therapy. but she said that even though some of the nerves are dying/dead, the other nerves in that area can be trained to take on the functions of the dead nerves through PT so i should be able to regain full motor and sensory function in my hands eventually ("but you're going to have to work for it"). i was also just like listen i kinda feel like i've been losing my mind because people keep telling me carpal tunnel is a normal pregnancy symptom and yet i wake up every night multiple times thinking i should go to the emergency room because the pain is so severe. and she was like this is really not normal and i am not surprised at all that you are experiencing ER-level pain given that your nerves are dying & that the onset was so acute. and that made me feel so much better like sometimes you just need someone to recognize the severity of your pain and be like yeah that is FUCKED and then you can bear it a little bit better. anyway aghhh i am a little freaked out about whether i'll be able to hold/take care of my baby (both pre-surgery when the pain is still so bad and post-surgery when i am recovering) and i am also just like oh my god how can i keep going for 16+ more days and i am also feeling a little panicky about going through labor when like, my starting level of pain is already SO high. but it is ok like at least i have some direction and some kind of end date. i am going to call my OB now to see if they can bump me up the waitlist or ideally confirm a date so i can then call the ortho surgeon to get scheduled for surgery ASAP. just need to keep reminding myself that i'm gonna have a little guy living in my house soon!!!!! enduring all of this pain will have a big payoff!!!!!

[itrustmydiscoverweekly]

They took so much of my money this week

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐(5 out of 5 stars)(yes I'm very biased)

augh, I love twenty one pilots, I've been listening to them since before I was even old enough to comprehend anything they were talking about, and wow they have made another brilliant album.

I can't even begin to explain how hyped I've been for this album since the album art leaked back in February (?). I bought the vinyl and the digital remains (WHAT IS 25??) I'm so excited for the proper Paladin Strait MV. I LOVE THIS ALBUM. yes, I am biased. Glad I'm alive for this album. I don't think I've ever had lyrics so quickly memorized to any album before, I love this album. Trying to pick my favorite songs was impossible. Your honor, they're all my favorite. Anyways, I guess I picked 3.

opinion time! (as always, not opinion order, just album order)

"Vignette" THESE DRUMS oml I love them, if you get a chance, watch the mv and just watch Josh. And jesus the lyrics cut in a way so similar to self-titled, laugh this SONG. Big fan of the bird noises at the start too, wish is was a vulture to tie in with Trench but those things make nasty noises and probably wouldn't be too good for a song... Live laugh love Clifford... I think this song, although it doesn't state anything outright, is a song of hope especially with the line "Where do I grow from here". And that little instrumental before the final chorus, augh, I'm kissing Paul Meany on the mouth.

"Navigating" seems to be a lot of people's favorite and with good reason. Again, big fan of the drums here. It's such a hype song with such a painful bridge. Tyler can shush that he doesn't like this song and dear god how I want to hear Drag Path and the other scrapped songs because what else is Tyler hiding from us! Again, a lot of this album carries really, really heavy themes but with that theme of hope and Pushing through. That last chorus, man that second to last my oh my, I wanna scream with him, I love it. Super fun

"At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb" I think this song is really silly, it sounds super silly, but I can't sit here and act like the message is silly, it sucks, and it's really heavy, but it is classic tøp, happy sound, dark lyrics. this song is great, I love it, it hits deep, and the chorus is very catchy drums are less notable here but still amazing. Paul Meany struck again, I love the mixing on this song too

Honorable Mentions!!! 🥳🥳🥳

I'm gonna hold myself back, I would put every other song here but I'll pick some favorites.

"Midwest Indigo" I'm from the Midwest, I'm biased, this song is fun it's high-energy. I'm in love with the lines "I requested Counsel with the counselor/ And he canceled twice" and just the way Tyler sings them. And Josh singing "What's your ETA" and "Chill out man we're right on time" live was so cute <3.

"Routines In The Night" I feel is a sister song to "Navigating" This song is more chill, and super vulnerable aghhh. The backing vocals on the chorus at 2:10 are also so addictive, listen to just that section oml.

Both versions of "The Craving" are so sweet <3

"Lavish": the award for the most creative way to say get fucked goes to! What a wild way to end a song Tyler!

"Paladin Strait" BLURRYFACE!!!!

[hms-no-fun]

14 again, but this time “Meat or Candy” interpreted as narrative philosophies rather than the halves of the epilogues

aghhh this is so mean!!! i've always read the meat/candy dichotomy as sides of the same coin rather than two discrete narrative philosophies, and homestuck itself as a structural exploration of various ways to balance/unbalance the split. picking between one or the other is like picking between air & water!

i certainly write godfeels with an eye towards finding a balance. serious drama needs to be offset by goofy comedy, cool anime fight scenes need to be offset by cursed bullshit or drydick exposition. chapter 8 especially is meant to be a tonal roller coaster. 'the shadows left behind' for instance is an almost 40,000 word long section about a depressed idea slowly clawing back personhood from their out of control death drive. there's murder attempts, there's suicide attempts, there's gore, there's psychological torture-- it's some of the heaviest shit i've ever written! and yet that same chapter also contains some of the funniest shit i've ever written. a story like this NEEDS that kind of variation to maintain reader interest, otherwise you get bogged down in seriousness or get so sucked up into lightheartedness that you lose all sense of substance.

like that's very much the reason ch8 ends with an epilogue full of jargon and exposition and obtuse metaphysics. i knew, at the close of ch8 act 5, that we were finally opening the door to what i consider The Good Shit. but it wouldn't be right to jump straight from that endpoint to where 3.2A begins. from an archival reading perspective, you need a palate cleanser to pull you back out from the thick of it and re-examine everything that just occurred from the outside. within the rest of ch8 there is a constant ebb and flow between meat tendencies and candy tendencies; what the epilogue reveals is that it was all candy in some sense, because it was functionally one extremely long action scene. it does this by serving as the meaty parallel, something much closer in tone and purpose to the author-insert sections of homestuck proper. it's meant to feel tedious and tantalizing at the same time, something you have to eat slowly and chew on to properly digest after the insane fast pace of [s] saturday. and even the epilogue swings back and forth between funny and serious! it's meat/candy all the way down!!

i suppose like any red-blooded american of the toonami generation, i have the most fun as a writer when i'm indulging myself in the candy of dumb anime bullshit. most of 'the shadows left behind' was back-constructed from the scene where Dare's "body" gets impaled and cut to shreds by X and they just keep walking towards it anyway. especially that moment where X tries to swallow them a second time, and Dare grabs it by the jaws and throws it off-- that whole sequence popped into my head and suddenly it clicked for me, oh shit, Dare is the secret shonen anime protagonist of godfeels! everything beforehand was a prelude to that moment when June really sees Dare for the first time, asks if they're real, and they shout defiantly, YES!!!

probably every writer does this to an extent, where they write towards some cool/interesting shit they can't get out of their head. there's a temptation to just go there, just get to the good stuff, because ultimately it's what you're there for and you KNOW the audience is gonna lap it up. but if you give in to that temptation and just string together all those keystone moments with bare-minimum bridging material, you paradoxically rob those moments of all their meaning and energy. did 'the shadows left behind' need to be 40,000 words long in one go? probably not. but i don't think the final culmination of that story would have hit nearly as hard otherwise.

you need meat to sell the candy. i wanted 3.2 A1 for instance to be much shorter than it wound up being, because god damn it i want to get to The Good Shit already!! but i realized very quickly that everything i wanted to get to would be poorly served by a cast of characters whose reasons for participating are murky at best. so i decided to invest in more of those meaty chapters between jade and various characters, which themselves needed their own fluctuating balance between meat tendencies and candy tendencies. from a structural standpoint it sort of becomes a meat/candy fractal, as each subdivision of each narrative unit has to maintain the same relative push-pull frequency that the entire fic as a whole does. does that make sense? i have no idea if that makes sense lmao.

anyway that's my take on the meat/candy split. hope it was satisfying u_u

[carcharsaur]

I finished even if tempest dawning connections the other day...😭

I couldn't stop myself from playing this for like 10+ hours a day until I finished it, but I really really loved it. it's just what the first game needed imo. with this and the update to the first game that fixed it's audio compression, the series is solidly in my top 5 of otoge now, if not top 3!! no major or CG spoilers for the fd but I'm gonna ramble below

legit I think my only real complaints is that the conrad sidestory is like. kind of overboard.... totally skippable if tyril's bad/sad love end in the first game was already bad for you I'll say; aanddd they tried to debunk transmasc tyril as an interpretation BUT IT LIVES ON. TO ME!!! oh and I wanted more ish content but what DID get in was really good I'm just greedy OH AND MAYA DESERVES A FULL ROUTE GODDAMN IT AGHHH

my mild nitpick is there's 2-3 plotpoints they added that don't feel well explained, but they tied up basically everything that felt a bit confusing or shallow in the first game... so maybe they're setting up for more in the setting...? conflicted about that as an idea though.

BUT, every LI was so good in this!!!! was such a good time ToT zenn is still my favorite, AND they basically turned to me and said "you're right, zenn should be the implied-canon final route boy actually" and I LOOOVED that. tyril almost tied with him for me though, but instead him and crius are forever clashing for me now... my godddddd it was peak

lucien got the time he needed to really shine after being shortchanged in the first game, absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE his and anastasia's dynamic of boyprincess and girlknight 😭

there was a lot of small things that I feel like I need to go over again to pick up on the larger implications of, especially after having played the writer/directors previous work of norn9 she just loves to put things to read into but doesn't call much attention to them... and her machine translated QnAs can only help me so much LOL but overall good ass game... it feels like they made it for JUST ME AGAIN but it makes me so happy (A COUPLE LINES IN THE ZENN ROUTE FELT SO TARGETED...)

anyway. ish indulgence. (mostly removed from context)

[thechurchofsplatterdaysaints]

"You make a living selling little kids. I make a living stopping piss-heads like you." - Fucking Bronson

The movie just started! Fuck yea! This is gonna be so great! - me, before.

1st pic is 10 to Midnight but I had to include it, I'm only human. They should make a Bronson dildo that beats the shit out of your g-spot and then blows up your house.

You have no idea how bad things are going to get. There will be spoilers and you will thank me.

This was rough. She's getting finger blasted by a stranger on a bus. (we're led to believe that she both enjoyed it/climaxed but also that she wouldn't scream or cry out for help for fear of bringing shame for being touched in the first place and it feels fucking gross and the scene lasted way too long and now I feel like I just rolled around in dogshit.)

Of course shit blows up this is mf Bronson!

Talk about dedication to your craft. Fucking pimps steady scoping kids 24/7. Look at these starry eyed dirt farmers straight off the bus. Have they even seen sky before?! They walked down the sidewalk like this! I got so angry "I" wanted to pimp them.

"Don't do it, Stan." - Blood Diner

She screams, he smells his fingers and then immediately gets robbed by a "Burt Young type."

There's so much racist bullshit! They know a Japanese businessman (aka "sleazy Oriental") groped ("molested") Bronson's daughter and Bronson goes on a crazy racist rant and everyone in the movie acts like a stranger touching a 15 yr old's pussy on a bus is business as usual. "Cmon, it's not like she was raped!"

Was there really a time when Americans thought that the Japanese were going to take over?! You will not believe the shit you hear.

This scene is fucking NUTS. The gd priest is basically telling Bronson to do some soul searching because if he keeps saying his daughter was "molested" and ramping up his repulsion over a touch vs. an actual deflowering then he needs to look into his heart and see if he loves her as his daughter or as his wife?! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK, BRONSON?! and his response is "I can't face it."

Again. WTF am I watching?!

*"ramping up the repulsion" is straight up stolen from MST3K #810 The Giant Spider Invasion but to be fair I write how I speak and I speak geek.

Oriental Riff. Look it up. This sweet angel baby has no idea the pimpmobile is closing in on her. "Hey little girl. Can you show me where your school is?" This movie sucks.

"Captain! This bag of shit is running little girls! Babies! And he's getting fat off them!"

Holy shit, Bill Brochtrup aka "Gay John" from NYPD Blue. (insert Andy Sipowicz pic here)

AGHHH!!!! Holier shit! It's Carl Ciarfalio aka "Paulie" from Out for Justice aka "Tony Dogg" from Casino. This guy played The Thing in the (94'?) Fantastic Four movie that got shit-canned among about 40K other flicks. The Dick Miller of stunt guys.

I'm skimming over so much stuff! Nicole Eggert is in this for 5 min. Fumiko repeatedly takes the sharp end of the stick. Gobs and gobs of racism. A pimp dies. A pimp meets a young Danny Trejo. Lesbian pedophile. Will Bronson ever find out who touched his daughter's "holy of holies"? Yes, they made her say that.

I dig Bronson, I dig sleaze and off-color bullshit is pretty much my stock-in-trade but this is ugly in a way that is not enjoyable. I fucking drowned myself in the 80s backgrounds and gleaned what I could but this is uniquely unpleasant. Big ups to @watching-pictures-move whose review inspired me to watch.

[ghost-proofbaby]

DUUUUDDDEEEEE. Fork! (I’m trying to sensor myself. Is it working?!)

HOLY SHIT THOUGH.

So OK BUT THEN HERE WE MAYBE HAVE ANOTHER WEIRD NON-ALIBI if they find Fred. IS Willow gonna say something once they find/identify Chrissy’s body/know that Fred is missing. But also he’s by lovers lake? And then mentally Nancy came across Chrissy’s body…closer to that where they found her necklace and shoe. So does that mean someone or something is moving her body? AND WHERE ARE THE GATES BUT WILL THERE EVEN BE GATES OR IS SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENING.

Omg. My synapses are firing!!! Cruel of you to release this first thing in the AM when I have a day full of meetings. I might reread tonight. I definitely have ideas but I DONT HAVE MY NOTEBOOK. I’m gonna scribble some on a napkin. Hmmm too early to tell

Poor Eddie and poor Willow. But they’re together and have one another. I think…you know I joke about my theories and everything but truly that’s what we’re all here for. The love they have for each other and their willingness to endure countless nightmares for each other. I can’t wait to see THEM RUN AWAY TOGETHER WHEN THE TOWN GOES ON A MANHUNT AND THEY JUST CUT AND RUN AND START OVER. TOGETHER (👀👀👀👀👀👀) Damn I thought that was gonna work.

And Wayne. I’m here for actual Dad Wayne Munson. Because he goes through so much to make sure his boy is safe. Omg. “Our boy” I’m freaking tearing up.

Congratulations on another great chapter and yet another strand in the grand web you are weaving. Aghhh. You’re the best but you’re the worst but you’re the best. You deserve a medium place. *forehead smooches*

FINALLY replying because i was trying to give everyone time to read but i want you to know this made my day when i received it this morning 🖤

first of all, as always, i love your mind. you're thinking big (even if you're not right) and i adore it <3 also the image of you scribbling down your theories on a napkin just has me cackling i love you jo 😭😭😭

and oh yeah, there's quite a bit going on, quite a lot to cover, but i think that's why even amongst this "angst", i find so much comfort in continuing their story. it's just as much their love that makes me giddy to write this story as it makes you all to read it (which still blows my mind, btw).

dad wayne munson is everything to me. him and hopper are the town's resident adoptive fathers, and both of them just bring me so so much comfort. if i find a way to insert hopper's return into this fic, you already know i am. just give me a day or two of planning i'm a determined woman on a mission

thank you so much. i know i'm a broken record, i know all i ever seem to do is thank y'all and tell you how much i appreciate you guys and your support, but i do. i truly mean it so much that if i think about it too much, i'd cry. when i started all this, i thought this was going to be some silly fic i'd post and have to celebrate even having one reader, something i'd have to manically talk and plan out with my best friend and that at the end of the day, would only really mean something to me. you guys have been so endlessly supportive, so achingly sweet, and i just. gah. i don't know how to repay you all. i love you guys. you guys let me have my cake, and eat it too. that's probably the greatest gift i've received in all my years of writing fics.

also... side note.... has someone been rewatching the good place? 👀

[borathae]

Chapter 5 thoughts:

1. Oh I would like YNs morning routine of being eaten out, doggy, brunch and shopping too.

2. I missed Tae's chivalrous darling hand kissing sweetest doting affection too.

3. Him kissing jungkook flustering him. Flirting with him. Turning that cute romantic bunny into a mess aghhh

4. Istg I laughed so much at the height joke myself that portion is so cute and feel good.

5. Hoseok is such a Bro I love him??????!!!!!

6. Lmfao that whole she's a cunt versus I'm excited to meet her and then getting pissy af like that mood swing.. Sir.. Tone it down 🤡

7. But seeing all these old vampires and their lack of inhibition to just get down and slurpy with just about about anybody needs to be studied.. You could be married or mated to someone but *BOOM* a flame from 16th century shows up and your panties drop and tongues mingle first 🤡

8. I'm lowkey glad the whole polyamory confusión is starting to get addressed like yeah, tae is now banging kook, kook was being banged by yoongi and occasionally the OC. OC is being banged in the regular by yoongi. OC was and is being banged by tae. So there's a lot of square banging happening and I'm glad they're talking about it without feeling like this is wrong. I love the - but I crave him too vibe going on bcz girl same. I feel you.

9. The whole depressive drinking ep- 🥺 baby koo baby nini. I really feel the whole Emma thing May end up like Katherine from tvd where she dgaf. And about koo I get the feeling tae is gonna get iced😅🤣 that would be hilarious 😭

10. Yoongi is such an adorable strong character in this series I love how he's written. The firefly dancing sequence was so romantic so now I want YNs evening routine too😭🤣🤣🤣

I read this chapter at 2 am last night and finished at 2 30. I wanted to write a whole ass ask but I realised it would take until 3 am at the very least🤣 so here I am at 12 noon💞 have a nice day sibuuuuuuu

I am EATING UP your thoughts yes send me all of them I fucking love them 🥺💜💜

no but I feel you so fucking much 😩 especially when it's Kim fucking Taehyung 😩

me too!!! I miss him so much!!!

I honestly fucking want them!! Please they are so fuckign cute!!

jfadjf I am happy you appreciated it. I both cringed and laughed whilst working on that part HAHAH

he IS such a bro and I want him to always be happy :(

jfdasjf honestly they were both fucking idiots in that scene like please my bois it's not that deep

WHY AM I SO INTO THIS CONCEPT THOUGH?? LIKE I'M FUCKING DEMISEXUAL I SHOULDN'T BE SO INTO THIS BUT I AM FANDSNF

I'm happy that you feel that way! I want to include conversations about that topic without making it all about the "i jealous bby" trope cause this trope suck ass lmao. I do want to show the struggles a poly cluster might go through though, so I'm happy you liked the conversation she had with Hobi

Nini has to be the cutest fucking nickname for jinnie ever :( our little nini :( also interesting theory about Emma mmmhmh and kookie our baby :( honestly I think I wouldn't even be mad at him if he kicked Tae in the nuts jfajds

THANK YOU!! OMFG YOONGI BOONGIE IS MY BBYBOY AND THAT FIREFLIE DANCE SCENE IS BURNED INTO MY MIND ETERNALLY!!

I love your long messages so much!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, it makes writing and posting so fucking worthwhile 🥺💜💜💜

[feuqueerfire]

My Stand-In Ep 11 Live Blogging

I'm so excited, been waiting for the past 5 days. From the previews, seems like it'll be an angsty episode (episode 11 after all) and I'm really looking forward to this "ep 11 angst curse" because the conflict has been hinted at throughout the entire show so far (Ming's rich, shitty family and the fact that they would disapprove if they knew he was gay) rather than random problems that pop-up just because they need conflict. Also, I thinkkkk it may bring the two of them closer together, especially with Ming showing how far he's willing to go for Joe and that he's serious about this, rather than driving the two of them apart.

Ep 11 (July 5)

59 minutes, nice. Also half-glad that apparently it releases early-ish in the morning because I expected it to release closer to noon because today I get to watch it earlier but next week, there'll be an even longer time between when it's released and when I get to watch it and there'll be spoilers abound.

Mike promised Ming something hmm, will we get an ally?

even Sol knew that Joe wasn't gonna be able to not get back together with Ming lol

oh, I hope Sol is bowing out. he even used Phi-Nong for themselves

man, Mike's not an ally, just a soft villain compared to what I assume his father will do. although i wonder if Mike's the one who'll send the contract stuff to Joe's mother because I'm dreading that the most and will make Mike much worse

oh nooooo, we're already getting Ing finding out about the Ming-Joe contract aghhh I don't wanna watch T.T

I don't really even know how Joe would explain this tbh like what would make her be okay?

damn, she really said don't see me until you've paid off all the debt

so Mike isn't behind it? fr? hmm...

sickly, delicate, Victorian boy looking Ming

ohh Ming's telling Mike about new Joe being old Joe

not the parents suddenly coming in, not even a hint that they've come home beforehand

Ming's vomit falling on his mother's hand is grossing me out

lmfao Mike knowing that Ming was faking it. i love siblings and their shenanigans

yay, Mike has become an ally

I know people were shipping Mike and the secretary, though I don't care about that pairing myself

giggling over them playing around and Ming being a cute menace while in a hospital bed

okayyyy is the mother gonna be fine too now that she's seen the two of them together/wants her son to be well? also she's so beautiful

Ah, the mother sent the lawyer to Ing agh

Poor May bro, I can't believe she's stuck with Tong and is gonna have a child too agh I want her to leave him so bad

yess May, I love youuuuu <333333

why is this father actually evil bruh, threatening to disown Ming and take away his business and everything

anyway, that Tong info was barely leverage like Ming could've left and been disowned even without that aghhh should've used it as at least a bit more leverage

I'm once again mad/sad that Ming's not seeing Joe's real face

May, trusttttt, this divorce will be good for you

Do not show me Tong saying "I'm sorry" to the empty air. Is he doing this because he wants to protect May from the debt collectors or something? idc, you can't make me sympathetic towards him, I need to see him get fucked up

Tong leading these debt collectors straight to Joe while he begs him aghhh and now Joe's gotta fight them because he's too nice

girl what even, how did they switch clothes and mask/glasses so that they kidnap Joe instead of Tong and whyyyyy

why why why would you "take care of this" Joe? why

Ming mistakenly calling Tong Joe from seeing his back goes so hard though

500 000 000 baht oh my god, let's just trade and have Tong killed what the fuck

It's not fun to see Tong grovel/admit fault, I want revenge aklsjfaklsfjskl;f

fucking hell. I guess this is how Joe ends up in the wheelchair

we wouldn't happen to get Joe's real body back, would we? Since the cremation happened and everybody attended his funeral

did nobody inform Joe's mother? meanwhile fuckass Tong is here

what the hell is that door?

poor Joe who is fucking tired of everything happening to him. can't blame him for choosing the door, though I wonder if he's gonna turn back around next ep or he'll get his own body back or what

ofc we're ending here

The conflict had been hinted at throughout the show, but the episode was still quite different from the usual episodes where they're mostly in like Joe's house or at work (shooting/practicing/etc.) and Ming's a strong presence, whether it be to psychologically play with Joe or begging Joe lol. And this felt like a bit of a different genre now with the father and the debt collectors kidnapping Joe but we've been building up to it for a while. Like I'm just glad that the ep 11 problems, although more intense and in a different form than the previous episodes, are not out of the left field.

I can take Mike and Ming's mother becoming allies in this episode but I do not have it in me to give Tong grace. They still made him kinda cowardly and selfish in this episode but he's being portrayed as pitiful as well and maybe like he's turned a new leaf but like Enough! I was on board Ming's changes but you can't just make every shitty person become "good," I still need to see Tong get his comeuppance but I doubt we will. If they also make the father come around next episode (is he the one who called the cops?), then what even... we need some villains/antagonists who don't become sympathetic (the debt collectors don't count, they're hardly characters).

I can't believe I've not got to wait a week and ~8 hours to watch the last episode, what the hell... give it to me now. I'm not super worried about what happens next week though because of the scenes with Joe in a wheelchair that are yet to come.

[masayoshiko]

................................. I DIDN’T DO MY FUCKING LAUNDRY

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

@badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Definitely just a cold

Fandom: Original work

Soooooo here we are, with the second fill!

We have more sibling dynamics during the main storyline of Loki, today between him and his older sister Lucia!

"Oh really, I can tell how fine you are."

Lucia was standing in the doorway, her brows furrowed in a way that only vaguely resembled worry. “If you’re that fine, make yourself a bit more useful and help me downstairs.”

Of course she knew - her brother was doing everything but well. The way he’d barely been out from under his covers, not even bothered to get food or at least a *shower* in days were more than enough indicators that something was absolutely wrong. But if he kept on refusing any help there was to offer him - what else could she do?

Ever since he came back late that one evening a few days prior, his clothes soaked and clinging to his skin, making his trembling all over even more prominent - had it been raining? Surely she would’ve noticed if it was that bad outside… - Loki had been like this, immediately worrying Egill and slowly even Lucia to bits. Something wasn’t quite right about the whole thing, the whole story about ‘getting caught up with someone after school and suddenly it started raining buckets and coming down with just a cold, as you do sometimes’.

“Mh...c’ming…”

Remaining there until she saw the sheets rustling, meaning that he was actually going to come along this time, she let out a little disapproving sigh at his stubbornness to keep on insisting he was fine when he so clearly wasn’t, then walked off downstairs and to the kitchen. If he wanted it like this, then he could have it.

Minutes later, as she was drying off dishes she and Egill had used earlier - again, no sign of Loki then - she noticed quiet steps shuffling into the room behind her.

“Finally, was about time.” She barely glanced back at him, before motioning to the sink with few leftover plates that had yet to be washed. “Lucky for you I did almost everything by myself already before you decided to turn up.” The grain of salt in her voice seemed to go unnoticed, drowned out even as Loki stayed near the door, not moving an inch closer.

“...go on, what are you waiting for? The water’s getting cold. I don’t care how you do it, but-”

“...no. ‘nything else to do...?” 

She blinked and turned back to him, dishrag in hand. “...you sound like shit, you know that? No. There’s this to do.”

“‘m not doing that.” His voice was quieter than usual, raspy, and the glassy shimmer in his eyes took away any bit of seriousness, nonetheless assertiveness he might have had before. Not even crossing his arms could help build up any of that again anymore either.

“Aw come on, it’s just a bit of water. You’re not gonna be scared of that, are you?” The corner of her mouth perched up as she reached into the sink, splashing him with a few drops of water.

“Aghhh, why did you-?!” Not quite fast enough to get out of reach, Loki winced as the cold droplets hit his face. Turning his back to Lucia, he hesitated a moment - admittedly, the cool on his face was...comfortable… - then quickly wiped it off with his sleeve though. He kept it in front of his mouth a few moments longer, as he felt that awful itch in his throat rise again, aggravated by his previous yelling. Taking a slow, shaky breath to calm himself down again, he-

“You know, touching water once in a while’s not gonna kill you-” 

The next moment, he felt ice cold hands on his cheeks, dripping wet.

“HNNNGET OFF-” 

The rest of his words were cut off by coughs, heavily wracking through his body. Screwing his eyes shut in an attempt to get it under control - to no avail - he reached for the wall for support, to keep himself from doubling over as getting air seemed to grow harder and harder by the second.

His lungs were burning, his head hazy, so hazy - he barely felt the hands grabbing him by the shoulders, registered the voice calling out his name. Knees jittering beneath him, he grabbed whatever he could to keep himself from falling - that being his sister’s arms that were already struggling to keep him up.

“Hey- Loki! Loki, look at me! Hey, come on!”

His eyes fluttered open, met her’s for a moment - unfocused, hazy, as if he was looking right through her.

Shaking his head frantically, he could merely wheeze in between his coughs.

“Can’t- Can’t breathe-”

Pulling his arms away from her’s, he now instead clutched his own chest, and held them in front of his mouth. “I- I can’t-”

“It’s okay, you’ll be okay- Come on, look at me. Focus, come on- Breathe, slowly. It’s gonna be okay, just breathe, with me.”

This time, he actually seemed to clear up a bit, his gaze on her more clear than before as he tried to focus on his breathing, to line it up with Lucia’s.

Slowly, his coughing subsided, his shuddering breaths got slower - and the weight under Lucia's hands got heavier. Huffing in surprise, she could just barely pull him close enough to keep him from falling as his legs gave in and he slumped forward, almost making them both tumble to the floor as he hung limply in her arms. 

"...you're fine my ass. You're a fucking idiot, that's all you are."

Frowning, she picked him up properly - with worryingly little effort - and walked back to the living room, placing him on the couch. She rested her hand on his head a moment more, a sinking feeling growing in her stomach at the heat radiating off his suddenly so awfully pale skin, before she turned away again to let him rest once more. 

Waking up, the first thing he felt was his pounding head. A groan escaped him, and he blinked tiredly against the light in the room, glancing around. His legs were propped up on cushions, a thin blanket draped over his body. 

"Good morning princess. You have exactly one chance to tell me how you're feeling, and what actually happened, or I'll personally make you feel bad. Go."

He turned his head to find Lucia laying across the armchair, a popsicle stick she'd been chewing on for quite a while now in her mouth. Her glance was demanding, serious, yet worried - Hell, this might've been the first time he saw her worried about anything besides his brother.

For a moment, their eyes locked, and the words threatened to spill over his lips. The words of truth, of what actually happened. But the moment was short, and instead, he turned to face the backrest of the couch, pulling his blanket further up. 

"...'feel like shit…"

"Well that's a first. Not like I couldn't tell before." She sighed. "Egill is out and won't be home for a bit. If you're gonna tell me, now' s the chance."

He shuddered at the thought of his brother finding out any more than he already knew - or maybe it was just the sickness that still lay deep in his chest. Either way - in the end, he stayed silent. 

Eventually, Lucia spoke up again, resignation in her voice.

"...Well then. But you're aware that if you don't tell me and let me help you, Egill will eventually do it by himself. You do you, but if I have to get you into hospital again for whatever fucked up shit you pulled this time, you're gonna be the one explaining it to him, I'm not getting into trouble with him because you couldn't open your mouth and tell what's up."

Loki stayed silent, his lack of resistance acting as more or less of a silent agreement. No, no one had to find out. Especially not Egill. And no one would, there was no reason for anyone to. 

No, he'd be fine. Not yet, but soon enough. He'd just…sleep it all off.

Biting down another cough that crept up his throat, Loki closed his eyes and buried his face under the blanket, unaware of Lucia quietly getting up and heading to leave the room, before she stopped in the doorway. 

"And by the way, if you pass out on me again like this, the couch is not gonna be the place you wake up in again. Just to make it clear. Be glad it was me and not Egill or hell would've broken loose already." 

Without waiting for an answer, she walked out, leaving Loki by himself.