#AHB is begging me to be read

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

there is a thing not enough people talk about and it's that I can't get into a new obssession, before I am done milking the fuck out of the one I'm currently on.

(Like, do I know JJK is going to be my jam? Yes. Do I know it's going to ruin my life in the worst/best way? Yes?

But I'm in my attack on titan era and if I take a sharp left turn now I'll be missing out of the aot glorious content I'm currently spiralling and drowning in and it's just not a concession I'm willing to make at the moment.)

(And like, are there fics I want to read? Yes. Will I be able to enjoy them right now? No. I'm PACING MYSELF I AM WHO I AM I NEED TO DO IT JUSTICE YOU MUST BE PATIENT.)

[otrtbs]

Hello people of tumblr dot com

This is just a reminder that I do not allow any reuploads of Art Heist, Baby! onto any other platform. Art Heist, Baby! lives on ao3 and ao3 exclusively.

Really upset to find out that people who have messaged me privately on here asking to upload Art Heist onto other platforms just went ahead and did it anyway when I politely asked for them to keep my work on ao3. Even after I explained why I wasn't comfortable uploading it to other sites.

I could go into the details of how sites like wattpad are for-profit companies and are naturally inclined to favor whatever makes them the most amount of money even if it's at the expense of writers and I could go into my own issues with those sites capitalising off of writer's creative output/hobby etc. etc. (not to mention the reuploads were not tagged and didn't include chapter warnings at all 🤠) but the point is I shouldn't have to.

You (in a very general but also pejorative sense) should respect my decision to keep Art Heist on ao3. I realize that uploading something to the internet means that I put myself at risk of losing control of my content but come on, y'all. It's in my pinned post and I've told people multiple times to not reupload my fic anywhere else. It's my fic, and my writing, and I don't think it's too much to ask to keep it to ao3.

Anyway, I've already reached out to the people who have posted my fic elsewhere and corrected the issue, but I thought I would go ahead and make it abundantly clear that Art Heist, Baby! is for ao3 and ao3 only in the hopes that this issue doesn't arise again!

[cressthebest]

GOD I AM NOT OKAY

okay, so i just watched A Night’s Tale by The Mischief Productions and am IMMEDIATELY rewatching it. i have so many things to say.

1. reg working through writing his poem the entire film, and reading it out loud to us to tell us the course of his emotions for james throughout the story- masterpiece

2. their bickering throughout CHEFS KISS

3. reg’s big snake ring. i can’t help think of the snake ring from AHB and it makes me want to cry.

4. “i don’t have to understand something to appreciate its beauty” -james potter AHHHHH ALSO the wand reg puts to james’ throat to threaten him. flashbacks to crimson rivers james’ knife kink

5. god i had many thoughts on the scene where james meets up with reg to study potions after running laps to prep for the big game against ravenclaw. he forgot his potions notes and fully met up with reg just to flirt. i’m sure of it.

another thing about that scene- holy shit james is attractive. he’s panting and leaning up against a tree. and all reg is doing is looking him up and down and trying not to smile. and THEN james started to BEG to hear reg talk about himself. like BEG. i am but a pathetic man and think that was SO hot.

6. reg knows that james likes him whenever james makes a comment about his cologne. and amortentia’s smell was in the air

7. THEY WERE PLAYFIGHTING!! THEN THEIR FACES GOT CLOSE!! AND THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHERS LIPS!! AND THEN!!! JAMES FREAKING POTTER S U R G E S FORWARD AND KISSES REGULUS!!

and they KEEP ON KISSING!!!

8. it ended happy. this was all fluff. i am not okay. they are so in love. it was such cute puppy love.

9. give me a james potter. that’s not a suggestion. that’s an order.

[smutsonian]

okay but,, imagine if the reader had been a complete brat and gone out without letting Lee know. He waned her before about the dangers out there and that he wont always be there to save her. This gives him an idea. Lee decides to scare her by locking her up in a prison cell with Robert Pronge. Lee lets him do whatever he wants for the next few hours and even sits himself in a chair to get a better look..

ababahhaha aAhaha ahb WIAT LET ME BREATHE GOR A SECOND

lesson learned

lee bodecker x reader x robert pronge

warnings: dark, noncon, voyeurism, slight angst, posessive lee, creepy robert, not proofread!

word count: 1.4k

a/n: idfk how to do the keep reading thingy on mobile. Also I TRIED AND OMFG I JUST REALLY LIKE SOFT DARK CHARACTERS OKAY?!

masterlist

You asked Lee if you can go to the store later but when he told you that he’ll be doing extra shifts, you told him that you can go on your own. Lee didn’t like the idea of you going out on your own and he decided to give you a speech about the dangers of the outside world.

“Anyone can hurt you!”

“Anyone can just take you. In a blink, you’re gone. Taken away from me. Do you want that? Do you want someone to take you away from me?” 

“No.”

“So don’t go out without me. Don’t go out by yourself, got it?” He was so angry and adamant but you really wanted to go out. You needed to go to that store.

So you decide to ignore Lee and go to the fucking story anyway.

Of course, Lee finds out. He’s the sheriff and everyone basically works for him. So it’s not a surprise that someone tattled on you.

He drove straight to the shop, guiding you back in his cruiser, almost as if you’re being arrested but he let you sit on the passenger’s side. He was quiet throughout the ride which was scary because he’s usually mouthy when he’s mad but when he’s quiet… 

He’s really really mad.

Your anxiety only got worse when he missed the turn to your house and straight to the station.

He stopped the car before quickly getting out, walking towards your side, and helping you out. Even mad, he still guides you.

You follow him inside, frowning when he grabs your arm before pushing you inside a cell with a strange man. You ignored the man, watching Lee as he closed the gates before getting a chair and placing it just in front of your cell.

“Such a pretty little face…” the strange man says from behind you. Your skin prickles when you feel him getting closer to you and you glance at Lee with tearful and frightened eyes.

“L-Lee what’s ha-happening?” You watch Lee’s jaw clench and unclench before he adjusts himself on the chair.

“I told you not to go out on your own, didn’t I?” He asks, giving you a glare.

“You did.” You confirm.

“But you still went out.” He hisses.

“But I still went out…” You repeat, bowing your head in shame.

“I’m sorry, Lee… I just really wanted to buy—” You try to reach for the paper bag but then Lee grabs it through the gaps of the cell before tossing it aside.

“Doesn’t matter what you needed to buy, darling. You still disobeyed me. I’m not making rules for my own good here, sweetheart. I’m making them for you.” He shakes his head in disappointment, making your heart clench in regret.

“I’m sorry, Lee! I really am!” You cry, not aware of the hungry look that the strange man behind you is giving you.

“I won’t do it again. I promise!” Your hands clamped around the bars, reaching out to Lee. He grabs your hands before giving each a kiss and letting them go.

“Oh, you won’t do it again. I’m pretty sure of that…” He smiles before loosening his belt.

“I learned my lesson, Lee. I won’t do it again. Please let me out…” You whisper, eyes blurred with tears as you begged him. You could see conflict in his eyes as if he’s fighting with himself.

“Oh, you will learn your lesson, sweetheart. I know it’s hard to teach you some manners but this time, I’m pretty sure you’ll learn.” He nods at the man behind you before you feel yourself being dragged back to the stranger’s chest.

“That’s Robert. He’ll help you learn a simple lesson, sweetheart.” Lee smiles before leaning back against his chair.

“Nice to meet ya, pretty face!” The man behind you, Robert, cheers before tearing your clothes apart. You were too shocked to react and you only snapped out of it when you felt his rough hands palming your breasts.

“L-Lee!” Your voice cracks at Lee, desperate and scared. 

“I know, sweetheart. It’s scary but you have to learn!” Lee frowns before nodding at Robert once more.

You feel a kiss on your cheek before his hot breath fans your ear.

“This’ll be quick, baby. Just gotta teach ya a lesson like your daddy told you…” You whimper when your hair is yanked backward and a stinging sensation fills your body when Robert forces his cock inside you.

Your screams seemed to turn Robert on because he only went faster and harder, ignoring your sobs and seemingly enjoying the scratches that your nails are giving his arms. He uses your breasts as a handle to keep your body against him while his hips continue to rut into you.

“Ow!” You cry out when you feel his teeth biting into your neck when a loud bang comes from the metal bars.

“Don’t fucking bite her, Pronge!” Lee’s voice was strained and you looked at him, seeing him stroking his cock while his eyes continued to glare at Robert.

“My bad…” Robert chuckles before wiping the skin that he bit and placing a kiss on it.

“Sorry, baby…” He continues to rut into you and you see Lee matching the rhythm that Robert is using to pound into you. 

Robert easily manipulates your body so you’re on your knees and he forced your face down against the floor only to be yanked up so a pillow could be placed against your face.

“Gotta keep that pretty face comfortable…” Robert chuckles before patting your cheek and crawling behind you.

“Ready or not…” Robert sings before seething himself inside you with the same rhythm as before only this time, his cock enters deeper, hitting a spot that always made your legs shake.

“Slap her ass,” you hear Lee’s quiet voice and you look back at him who seems to be close with how his hips are jerking against his hand.

Robert smacks your left cheek hard, earning a loud yelp from you. He continued pounding you from behind, groaning and pleasure as your walls started to clench around his throbbing cock.

“You can cum, baby,” Lee’s voice reaches your ear. You didn’t want to cum on Robert’s cock but his hand finds its way to your cunt, fingers playing with your clit, eager to pull a release from you.

He didn’t have to wait long because soon, you were a crying mess while your whole body shakes on the floor as Robert continued to pound into you.

Just when he’s about to cum inside you, he’s pushed out of you by Lee who quickly shoved himself inside of you, thrusting a few times before cumming inside of you, releasing thick and warm coats of his seed.

“Ahh fuck!” Robert exclaims, finishing himself off on your ass. 

“You fucking bitch…” Lee growls before wiping Robert’s cum off your ass with a white cloth.

Lee helps you up, wrapping his jacket around you before pulling you close. He tilts your head towards him, a finger on your chin before asking.

“You learned your lesson?” 

You only nod at him, eyes tired as they fluttered shut. Lee presses a kiss on your forehead before guiding you up.

“That’s my girl.” 

Robert stands up, patting his pants clean before smiling at the sheriff.

“Hey if you wanna help with teaching your girl some manners, you know where to find me,” Robert laughs at the glare that Lee gives him.

“In your fucking dreams”

“Fucking your girl is a dream,” Robert sighs dreamily, looking at your sleeping form against Lee.

“It’s a one time favor, Pronge. Now get the fuck out of here. Our deal is done.” Lee brings you back to his cruiser as Robert follows the both of you.

He stares at your form on the passenger‘s side while Lee closes your door.

“Call me when you need someone dead. I like your method of payment.” Robert snickers.

Lee didn’t like how Robert seems to be infatuated by his girl. Lee couldn’t blame him but you're his. You’re Lee’s and nobody else’s.

“Fuck off, Pronge.” 

“Whatever.” Robert steals a glance at you one last time before leaving.

Lee enters the car before driving home. He looks at you before smiling. He knows you only love him. You’re good like that. You just have to be taught some lessons from time to time.

But he’s sure as fuck that he won’t be asking for Robert’s help anymore.

Lee looks at the bag that you were holding earlier and he feels his heart skips a beat when he sees what’s inside.

Candies

“Oh, my baby…” Lee smiles at your sleeping form before pressing a kiss on your nose. He wouldn’t have to worry about Robert.

part two-ish

————

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @evnscvll @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @empath-bunny @belovedcherry @white-wolf1940 @the-soulofdevil @mianorth @littlegasps

Anything Chris: @patzammit @princess-evans-addict @shadowcatsworld @notyourtypicalrose @onetwo3000 @bluemusickid @heyiamthatbitch @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @slytherinandoutasgard @chrisevanisliterallysir

Chris and seb: @harrysthiccthighss

[ahb-writes]

Book Review: ‘I’m in Love with a Villainess’ #1

I'm in Love with the Villainess (Light Novel) Vol. 1 by Inori My rating: 2 of 5 stars A soft-yandere (or sadodere, if one wishes to split hairs) figure finagles her way into the inner circle of a school bully of noble heritage. Rae Taylor isn't a particularly bright girl, but she has, for one thing, an imperturbable affection for the infamously recalcitrant Claire Francois. The high-bred Claire's gruff and annoying exterior often engenders distrust, but for Rae Taylor, such dour characteristics are simply more reasons for her to proclaim her love. I'M IN LOVE WITH THE VILLAINESS doesn't pivot too far from this premise and refuses to offer readers any serviceable distractions that might, in any other isekai tale, be rightfully termed plot points. Readers accompany Rae as she discovers herself to be one of several peasants populating the Bauer Kingdom, central to a noted dating sim. Except, there are no serious or valid threats to the Kingdom's stability, there is little stated evidence of the quality of life of the average laborer or craftsperson, and the diversity of character and personality available to enliven Rae's domestic exploits are dreadfully scarce. This novel, in brief, reeks of overly simplistic storytelling. It altogether lacks competent characterization, purposeful worldbuilding, and narrative direction. To begin, the characters are one-dimensional, their problems are shallow and irrelevant, and the tired and redundant nature of Rae's aggressively perverse affection for Claire yields little new or interesting dynamics such that one becomes bored with the odd shtick of romantic harassment. No characters, for example, possess any unique or identifiable qualities beyond the abbreviated dating-sim schematic provided by the narrator (e.g., the male leads are known archetypes, but they diverge very little from these archetypes). No characters, as a consequence, come forward with a problem that cannot be solved with modest critical thinking and another dozen pages of exposition (e.g., the main character has foreknowledge of the dating sim's orientation but her disruption of the status quo has zero knock-on effects). Further, the novel's over-reliance on Rae as a female character obsessed with another female character, to the point of desiring (begging for) verbal and physical abuse, grows old fast. Rae and Claire's squabbling is played for laughs, and yet the writing, consistently, is far too weak to coerce readers into caring about their eventual relationship beyond that of bickering children. I'M IN LOVE WITH THE VILLAINESS picks the lock of aged tropes of high-school comedies: culture festivals, student council shenanigans, and opaque rival scenarios with no true bearing on the trajectory of the overall story. Combined with an unoriginal magic system and an exhaustive emphasis on social hierarchy, one quickly finds there's no real juice to this story.

Similarly, the author fails to wield dramatic irony in any meaningful or descriptive way. The result is sinkhole of horribly inept storytelling that makes the grave mistake of putting off critical information that would undoubtedly enlighten and engage readers.

The only notable narrative turn of substance occurs a distant 220 pages into the book, and even then, the matrix of confusion and expectation surrounding the abrupt and clumsy integration of a failed commoner rebellion feels overwrought well before the situation turns critical. There's plenty of room for a novel of this type to counter reader expectations to its advantage. The male leads, three princes with obvious (shallow) personality variations, would have proved more fascinating were they more than mouthpieces. Usually, isekai protagonists learn more about otherwise conventional characters by interacting with the in the flesh; but in I'M IN LOVE WITH THE VILLAINESS, it's the opposite. Readers know as little of these secondary personalities at the end of the book as they did at the start. Similarly, the author fails to wield dramatic irony in any meaningful or descriptive way. The result is sinkhole of horribly inept storytelling that makes the grave mistake of putting off critical information that would undoubtedly enlighten and engage readers. Early in the novel, for example, Rae shares a sidebar with Claire's father, the contents of which the reader is never made privy ("And that was how I landed the job of Claire's maid. Just don't expect me to tell you what I said to Dole -- that stays secret," p. 49). This is an unquestionably odd, fourth-wall aside that brazenly subsumes any semblance of a practical, narrative structure. It harms the story. I'M IN LOVE WITH THE VILLAINESS may appear as well-written fluff, but even for fluff, the title isn't particularly satisfying. (And for that matter, the choice of the word "villainess," for what amounts to a spoiled bully, is a bit disheartening. Indeed, what if an adult Claire was an actual, seated noble with legitimately violent, villainous tendencies? That would be quite the novel.)

Light-Novel Book Reviews || ahb writes on Good Reads