#ALL MENTAL ILLNESSES INSHALLAH

[guardiandae]

"What mental illnesses do you think you have?" "All of them, inshallah." [video]

[revert-and-queer]

i have a very strange relationship with rules and "shoulds" in religion.

as im finding my way in islam, i am being very careful about what i internalize and what i do not. i've learned over the years of looking at religion how i avoid getting hurt by it, but by no means is it perfect. i've learned not to accept any human interpretation that does not serve me well. i will use it as a guide, of course, but in the end i disregard what doesn't suit me.

on one hand, i sometimes fear i am "selfish" for this or like i am bending religion to suit me. on the other hand... so what. allah knows my heart, knows my intentions. i trust that if he is there like i hope he is and like i feel he is, he is the perfect judge and the most merciful.

when i was agnostic and a friend told me she was converting to christianity, i told her to view it in the long run as a source of comfort. to toss aside anything that hurts her. i am trying to apply the same logic here.

if right now, due to my trauma and due to my mental illnesses, i can not do certain things, allah knows and understands. he knows i am doing my best. if i can't make salah every day, if the best i can do is duaa, he knows that i am trying to reach out in the best way i can. allah does not burden anyone with more than what they are capable of.

if my memory issues cause me to forget things, to only recall in hindsight i should say "bismillah", he knows it is not out of malice. instead, i praise him whenever i remember. i thank him for my blessings, for my cats, my partner, the beauty of nature. he comes to my mind naturally in moments of joy and beauty. isn't that wonderful? isn't it wonderful to see your creator in all that is good?

i heard someone say once it is more important to focus on doing things right than not doing things wrong, and i think a healthy relationship with religion needs that. no one can perfectly follow the rules and doctrine of any faith. as a muslim, i strive towards these things, but i am human and flawed. rather than freezing over what i can't do, rather than hiding in shame because i couldn't do this or that perfectly, i bring him what i can. i show him my efforts and what i can do, i do as much as i am able. inshallah that is enough.

[irhabiya]

all the mental illnesses inshallah alhamdulillah guy u will always be famous

[chainsawcorazon]

I’m not a BruceBabs shipper but people who get so scandalized by it or any other non-DickBabs ships are so annoying. And it’s usually Oracle fans who think the only people only like something else is because they are anti Babs. Babs used to be married to Bruce in the Superman universe and has even dated Clark Kent. They were literally only 3-4 years apart compared to Barbara and Dick who are 6-7 years apart and Barbara was literally older than Talia al Ghul at one point. DickBabs always is held to like this moral standard but honestly to me it’s like the writers settled for the the most boring and safest option which sucks because I wish that the one canonically disabled wheelchair user that DC has would have had a grand romance but yet… like it grates on me that when fans talk about reasons to like DickBabs it is because it’s a disabled woman in a relationship but like she would be a disabled woman in a relationship in whatever relationship she was in because she is a disabled woman. I don’t care for DickBabs and I honestly don’t even care for the age gap like let Babs have a younger guy and have fun, but the ship itself is just boring to me. Anybody else but that please.

i think the biggest mistake was to downgrade babs down to a dick’s contemporary when there were a hundred other ways (albeit none of them even slightly appropriate 😂) to get to the dickbabs agenda, but like, none of it was leveraged…. it’s always irked me, personally, bc there was nothing cookie cutter about their romance to begin with, and there were multiple layers of complexity that didn’t directly involve bruce getting between them, but i feel like in the current era, most of what made them dickbabs even remotely complex was straight up eliminated and or sterilized…. For what? for dick and barbara to be each other’s halal soulmate? forgive my language, but their relarionship’s entire conception was haram 😂 erasing and downplaying what made their relationship ‘theirs’ does nothing but diminish their personal histories and the fact that they each literally brought out the worst in each other at times.

and it’s not to say either are or were perfect. they are not. they are so fucked up i have to actually laugh bc they are both my mentally ill babus and i truly wish dc creative slt could SEE that they can be their best weirdo selves WITHOUT falling into the trap of reducing them to the kind of couple conservatives love to tout as “true love” when we know the only true love in dc comics is kon el and bart allen. also, break dickbabs up 5ever!

and ur absolutely right that babs deserves her fun! personally, i think brubabs is the answer to freeing selina kyle from all the straight woman allegations (i would like her to peacefully fuck other men abd women for at least ten years without hearing a single word about broose) and barbara from the dick-is-your-soulmate garbage. reality is that dickbabs has been as bust as dickkory for the last nine million years (as much as i love dickkory muah muah). one of my biggest critiques of dc comics writing is that motherfuckers cant commit to a character development point for their life. we were over both dickkory and dickbabs in 2010. not bc people didn’t enjoy their ships, but bc the writing staffs went out of their way to slander every single character. i recently saw a post that dickkory only looks good in elseworlds stories cuz the main comic runs fucked his ass UP. and i agree! the same should be applied to dickbabs, bc they lost their appeal eons ago as well. they want nightwing’s ass ate so damn bad, they need to get him a new girlfriend. a boyfriend, even! but leave babs and kory out of it 😭😭😭

Inshallah, hopefully dc creative SLT will understand the great fuckup they’re committing these days. if i cant get brubabs, i would like to see barbara go on a lil date with one of the many beautiful men and women in gotham. if she slept with selina, i would support it.

[rithmeres]

ive absorbed so much trigun content through you and i still have no idea what it is about. what is it about please

ok so basically. there’s this manga which you can read here and also two tv shows (1998’s Trigun and 2023’s TRIGUN: Stampede) but so far i’ve only seen the 2023 reboot. ‘98 came out before the manga was done so it’s not the most accurate, but it has like a cowboy bebop vibe i’m told. i haven’t even read the manga (yet) (call me a fake fan if u want) but basically it’s like this: desert planet, space western, pacifism, christian imagery, PAIN, sibling relationships that will make u tear out your hair, fighting over resources, the nature of humanity, worms, love and peace and mercy.

most of the following character descriptions will be skewed towards stampede because that’s all i’ve got for now, but here are the main guys:

Vash the Stampede (aliases: the humanoid typhoon, babygirl, el wiwi, vashie, my beautiful girlfriend) has every mental illness inshallah and is wanted in 12 different jurisdictions for Crimes, but he loves people so much and he’s the sweetest staunchest pacifist the world has ever seen and he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt and he suffers for it like jesus.

Wolfwood, Nicholas D., (aliases: the punisher, el woowoo, ww, nico, nick, crucifix jim, (and unfortunately, Bigolas Dickolas)) is goth in the desert and carries a giant cross on his back. while this rips severely (<- factual) it is purely symbolic and certainly isn’t a giant gun that shoots lasers (<- lying). i can’t tell you things about him without spoilers. in the manga he’s a priest, in stampede he’s an undertaker.

Meryl Stryfe, our audience surrogate, is either a reporter or an insurance agent depending on the version of the story, but regardless of her occupation she’s trying to find vash for work-related reasons. area woman won’t stop collecting random shady men from the desert to add to her found family (and sometimes hitting them with her car)

Nai, or Millions Knives, is (one of) our main antagonist(s) and the absolute madman plays the piano and wears either 1) basically nothing or 2) a clothing item that can only be described as an evil snuggie made out of knives. i am not making this up. he’s a massive hater and he wants all humans to die btw but i actually love him and he’s got a specific sauce that makes him far from your regular boring evil villain

supporting characters in stampede include a kid made out of bugs, meryl’s drunk coworker, [REDACTED]’s little brother, the world’s best foster mom #1, the world’s best foster mom #2, blue-hair-and-pronouns, a mad scientist, and brad.

to my limited knowledge stampede functions as something of a prequel (?) to parts of the manga so i would suggest starting with stampede (beautiful) (only 12 episodes) and then tackling the manga (what i plan to do) if you want to give trigun a shot (so to speak).

or just talk to spacekrakens idk she got me into this mess and she knows more than me

[moodymeangirl]

I hadn't heard from my og bestie/sibling for over a month. last I heard they covid and was going out of my mind with worry. We live on different cities and for their own (usually legitimate) safety reasons they only call my off a private number and I can't contact them.

they email me last night. They mental breakdown, physical injury, no phone, serious ideation, thinking about taking themselves to ER/psych ward. they've been struggling w SI for months now.

next email sentence is basically 'I don't feel safe in our friendship. Lots of things about you make me feel uneasy.' I don't want you in my life. I don't want you to help me.

I made sure my email reply was not heartbroken like I am. I acknowledge hard to hear but glad they tell me. Im so sorry what they're struggling with. tell them please live directly and in other ways. say we love them and they're so important and intelligent and beautiful human being. leave evry possible door of help they could ask me for open. even if they do not want contact with me otherwise they can ask for assistance, I can use my phone for hospital stuff on their behalf, anything just please stay alive. I tell I am still committed to and helping their family members even if we aren't close. that ill follow their lead on what they want me do. I will respect all boundaries including if their path to alive and okay means im not their friend/family anymore.

say I love them many times.

I contact my close friends for support. I contact their physically nearby friend to ask him check in. he is not surprised they find me unsafe. he is seeing friend on Sunday anyway will check in then. beleives me they're vulnerable but isn't worried. he had number b4 phone break.

talk to other besties. find out they all had number/messaging. only me unsafe to have number. security reasons were not external they were me. its not safe for me to choose to contact them? we dont know. some of friends who had number were my firneds first and og bestie only knew them a little bit.

nobody else has silence for months on end. most everybody else knew struggle. covid had been over by the time they used it as reason to not come to therapy.

now am dealing with heart shatter. chosen sibling at most vulnerable and wants everyone else I love but not me. reality if they survive I lose best friend anyway. but all matters is they find way to live.

all doors open if they ask my help, respect and love at my door even if they hate me. they still family I will not abandon but I will respect heart shatter boundaries.

we have had doing therapy together. things were going well. had not fought for months before silence. had been working so hard bc they mean world to me and we trauma bonded af. while I worked on my shit they seems had made decision to leave friendship. never told me or counsellor. just said covid can't come. and never talked to me again till last night email:

my life in danger im hurt no phone SI, hospital maybe? don't come near me u danger u uncanny valley.

so I break break break

pain pain pain

just want them to live but can't do anything more helpless worthless sharp spiky girl inshallah Allah heals them gives them ease and good life and just life inshallah inshallah inshallah

[cogbreath]

not a vent but it is a ramble of personal things but

im seriously so so like... shocked idk. i didnt expect this to happen. it seems like its really gonna happen. but im nervous. theres been times before where it was like. my mom was talking about how he might not be allowed 2 live here anymore and i was so hyped but then nothing came of it. i cant have that happen again. im 21 years old man. and i dont have a life because of the shit living arrangements we have going on bc of him. if hes really fed up and leaving this is gonnabe so fucking huge.......... like i said before i want his room so i can expand my waifu shrines 😈 ... lol. im being lighthearted. i seriously had 0 hope for a while. and idk. i once had a serious breakdown in front of my mom wherre i admitted that i felt like i was genuinely gonna end up killing him. and tbh i thought that there was a chance that ended up being the only way out. im really happy if this is true and im getting an actual happy ending for once. ive been. wanting this so desperately since i was a kid guys. seriously. i hate that man so much. hes a disgusting abusive asshole with 0 compassion + he m*lested me. hes got mad health problems that my mom manages for him and i wonder if shes worried about how he'll do on his own with that. personallly i dont care. i dont care. i want him out. i dont want my mama being his caregiver nomore. cruel cruel man. for all my life ive watched that man degrade her ans berate her and expect her to serve him afterwards ..... ive had to deal with overhearing him harassing her for never having sex with him.. which is something that was always extra painful for me because of my own sexual trauma.... theres honna be a lot of scary changes like my mom says i have to get a job again. im really not not good at working due to my disabilities. but i could hold a job for a year before i ended up losing it. it was very trauamtic. i dont want to work again. but i will be freed from the familial agony. its a lot guys. seriously. ive been so so so isolated and disconnected from eberything and everyone because of it for all my life. ive never been able to truly be a person because of it. it became my job to help my mother emotionally and mentally to degrees that no child really should havr to because she had no one else. i dont fault or resent her at all for that and im happy to defend her and help her and listen to her. its a lot though and especially when i was younger. also

ill probably do drugs less often because i wont be trying to drown out another fight theyre having.

im nervous because im a a psychotic autistic agoraphobic and i will have to be going outside now. but. i will be going outside now... which means having a life. my mom will be with me still. i will still live with her and probably will most my life because of my circumstances. but i love her. im okay with having to maybe do some scary things because of that. dude. theres a convention near me soon that i was hoping to go to. i kinda just had it as a pipe dream though. because basiclaly i have no ability or opportunities to leave the house. but now i will. im really hopping that this is rwal and i'll be able to go... its my goal. i want to make a misty monsoon cosplay. i really do. im crying rn bexause im just so excited to get a chance at things. trust me thougu im still gonna be a asocial shutin first and foremost. dont worry guys i wont be abandoning you. im a dedicated poster. but you know. im gonna be posting under better circumstances inshallah.

also this is a lot for me spiritually. my dad is heavily islamophobic and ive not been able to safely be open because of him. ive prayed and prayed a lot to allah to help make things to where i can finally do that. i really really feel like allah has given me a great gift here im so happy allahu akbar

[kaftan]

“What mental illnesses do you think you have?” “All of them, inshallah” genuinely there is nothing more Egyptian than this

[georgebbwbush]

"what mental illnesses do you have?"

"all of them, inshallah"

[geprek]

white people need to start appropriating islamic phrases and using them as memes more. "by allah, not on this post you don't" "he will be baked soon alhamdulillah" "do you have any mental illnesses / all of them inshallah"

[chrisabraham]

Mental illness on display: today is deep cleaning day. Next level boxing day. Wish me luck. I really blew it all up so I really can't even sleep until I put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Might overflow to Wednesday but it'll be Döstädning before the New Year, inshallah.

[switchedonlotus]

i got all of the mental illnesses Inshallah Alhamdulillah

[irhabiya]

Howdy!

Do you happen to have a link to the video of the Egyptians talking about all their mental illnesses (all of them inshallah)?

Thank you.

right here babe

[suncatbian]

just found out yesterday on my birthday that my wife can finally stop her treatment because she managed to kick TB's ass. she's back to her pre-illness weight and is starting to look and feel much healthier. although her doctors will only give a full clearance in another three months after another ct scan but for now they say she's fought off the infection and the rest her immune system should be able to do. honestly i can't even process this, it has been two long years of illness, hospitalisation, severe side effects, terrible mental health and literally almost dying, losing 30 kilos of weight, losing her job and her great career and the strain of this on her and even on me, including financial because she hasn't been able to work until about two months ago even remotely, and now she's finally doing better, she's recovered (with Allah's blessings) and a robust TB treatment program that the government runs (which is also one of the good things about the indian medical system) and im just so so grateful. to anyone here who's ever messaged me or checked in (who's here on tumblr now and those who left), thank you. it was such a tough time and i honestly needed all the support i could get. honestly excited for this year now. i convinced my parents to come meet her end of this month and im thinking of proposing to her properly and having a big/small wedding for family and friends by the start of next year (we had a tiny ceremony about 3 years ago but it was literally with two friends so we're always going back and forth on if we consider ourselves married or not even though we refer to each other as wife) but anyway that's for later. i love her so so much and seeing her fight through this for two whole years has been so tough but we're here and we're good, Inshallah!

[brokenhayatim]

we might be dead tomorrow

[now playing the maze by manchester orchestra]

yesterday on a call, i had a moment of real possibility in having the decompression surgery. my neurologist last week said it was what she recommended and that chiari could be the cause of it all. so once i had it, they would most likely be gone, along with my headaches, then the meds i take would no longer be needed. it all hit me hard today and im feeling many emotions at this person who barely considered doing it for months. for god sake, i was in the hospital for it, a situation i never thought i would be in. (inshallah never again) 

you know some part of me loves being told i have a high pain tolerance, a big  part of me loves being poked with needles (!!) and loves looking at my mri’s. oh story time, the day my neurologist said something was different, aka wrong, i smiled in the chair and asked if i could look at it and went “ah cool!.” she gave me the wildest look but described all the brain anatomy stuffs to me. I told my therapist of this moment and he went “.oh...you were happy?” [types some notes on his computer] and i realized, normal people don’t do that and i probably said that badly with no shame. i wasn’t particular happy, but i was nowhere near sad or scared, i was excited. i think my dissociation makes me almost see everything as not mine. those aren’t my scans so i can be exhilarated and so curious about everything. or it could be that pain just isn’t something i worry or care for anymore. months later, i laughed bc something else being wrong with me, it’s almost fate. sometimes i wish i was terrified, but i didn’t care for it. i already had bad headaches, so what?

over these last few months though. it’s like i’ve made room in my home for it, i’ve become familiar with it, not so much comfortable, but so familiar that it doesn’t matter in the big picture. a secret: sometimes i feel really impressed and good when i tell of my imbalance issues, (vertigo), numbness in my limbs, the tinnitus and the nausea. sometimes..i wish i had more. i feel proud of myself when people have headaches, like i know the worst of that pain, and i’ve been through it. i don’t know if it’s because i want to be validated in having it or if it’s just how i am like that. i wish i could tell my sisters and everyone a whole list of symptoms, but all of them seem so useless and mediocre. i sometimes want that attention from just collapsing; but ironically, i hate being bothered and cared for with it. i found meaning in it all, i found a whole part of me within it all. i had headaches for 6 years before i, simply, told my general physician, and since then it’s been 5 (way too long of) mri’s and an EEG (that was certainly a moment). i wished, back then, i had seizures too. we called one of my pain symptoms “brain shocks” for years with that creative name and made it into this freeze “game”, and i just mentioned that two years ago in a visit. half of my identity is just on having headaches, of being in pain around people. and i’m stupidly fucking (sorry last day of ramadan) scared of losing that. i’ve taken more medications pills than i can count, and i know their purpose pridefully well. i’ve given advice based on that pain, i’ve helped someone with that pain. i’ll never be ready to lose that. i think of it and i imagine myself more empty. full of nothing.

the reason i’m writing this though wasn’t all that. i woke up and just felt this aching shame and sobbed, still am i can barely see, in my bed (so much snot). i’m so scared, more than anyone can possibly try to understand, of it all being gone. of never having to take a pill for this anymore (i still have dat mental illness so not those), or of never needing the knowledge of different types and locations of headaches. i’ve began to feel prideful in having a neurological condition. it makes me something, i have something i can tell. this is the thought that started the spiral. i feel something with this pain. what will happen when i can’t feel this anymore? what will i turn to next? what does the loss feel like? (is that corny or shallow bc it sounds so??) my therapist asked me ‘why i didn’t want to rid it?’ and i was like ‘i genuinely don’t know’ to which he replied ‘i think you do’ and i was all sIR i legit don’t know pls tell me. i made up this random guess and stuttered through it, it felt out of body almost, leaving my lips. what if getting rid of this physical pain forces me to submerge myself in my emotional pain and deal with that? i feel like i have none pls..me?? i’m chill sans the moments like this. (he also says my tether to pain is like penance, some kind of self punishment i feel i deserve..so lettuce chill bro). but the physical pain of headaches, the imbalance, the dizziness, even the numbness in my legs, i always feel something. it’s something i can remember in my head then move past. and when i remember it later, it’s intoxicatingly satisfying and i want it to happen again. i wish i collapsed or had to crawl to my room more often. i like..want to boast about it?? i remember that moment vividly being a ‘this is it’ one too. i was home alone crawling to my room bc my legs gave out and i needed my meds for my pounding headache, and i genuinely thought i was gonna die there on the floor. that moment of me hating and scared of it though is so fleeting, only lasting the day probs. and a part of me will always hate it. that’s normal. but that’s not strong enough to overcome me. it’s bittersweet.

“it’s not the same, but it’s similar to people losing their limbs, or injured so badly they’re forced to give up their career, or an addict quitting using drugs.” sure, but you can notice, you can see all that. this is all in my head.  unless you see my mri’s you would never even guess. it was why i wished my diagnosis was something with seizures, at least that’s something noticeably neurological that i can recognize myself. (am i a bad person? baby no doubt.) my old roommate once said she didn’t even know i had headaches often because i never complained or mentioned it. i would just go to the pantry and take my pill as you would with a cookie. and i’ll never be any other way, and i never was. i grew up closing the bathroom door when i threw up, washing my face after crying and walking back in the kitchen to my mom. i grew up missing moments of laughter and joy with my sisters to just lay in a dark room in pain, being checked on at the some time in the night. even to this day, i will sit in lectures when my head is pounding and i know i’ll throw up soon. anyways, my three sisters were talking about one of the other’s qualities and how amazed they are bc ‘they would never’. one of them had actually gone to class, and i softly mentioned how i am like that too, i think i’ve missed three classes in my four years (minus calc bc the class was more confusing than teaching myself). i said i’ve sat through night classes with headaches and with no meds for three hours and they were like mmm. i almost felt jealous that she always spoke of her small and big achievements, and i speak of none. no one even knew my major till this year. why, allah, why am like this? what made me too reserved and careless of myself? my education is the only thing that makes me feel worthy in the eyes of others...so mine, and i never even share it. it’s that, perfect on paper, that’s how i want to be. (because i know i’ll never be otherwise) i get up in a week of seclusion & sobbing and head off to class, sometimes i cry in class (iconic moments truly, your glasses hide wonders). last year i was sitting in this three hour class with excruciating (and i don’t use that lightly) pain in my head to the point where i had to cradle it with my hands and nearly bang it against the table from thrashing, i was in the middle of the room so i did a 10/10 job at playing it off. i never went to the bathroom or even home early...because i had another class after..which it persisted in. i had never felt that before in my entire life. another day, i silently cried like you wouldn’t believe in the bathroom stall (after uncharacteristically leaving the room) then wiped my tears, fixed my makeup and went right back into class. anyways does that even matter? am i even strong? i want to be so badly. for real this time, not this image. and i’m not. i’m barely enough as it is. 

odd tangent: i don’t care enough or at all about the people i should and i lie to make em feel good and feel better. i know people that love me would still, with this loss of pain, but i doubt myself, and i underestimate them yeah. i say 'them’ like i care what half the people in my life think or care about, it’s just noor and rose. i love rose but i don’t bring these things up, i don’t normally update and i don’t think i’ve ever opened up about my trauma enough for it to mean more than anything superficial. we have this beautiful relationship, yet i don’t find purpose in telling her if need not be, maybe one day. it’s different with noor. i babble all the damn time about everything and feel myself have no filter with these things. i mean, i mention noor to rose too, as if she’s a mutual friend. i care for them both. i love them both in different ways, both ways that are rare for me. rose wasn’t the first person i’ve met or cared about, but she was the first person i remember loving the way i do. i wish i could describe how i feel for noor simply, but i can’t. there was a long-while where she was more important to me than my family, even my sisters (i know, i was like uhmmm). i’ve written something, poem or prose, of almost everyone that was close to me aka 4 peeps (let’s not get wild here). and yet, i’ve written nothing of noor. i’ve written for her yes, but not of her. i tried and it’s arguably the hardest thing to do and i’m quite adequate at writing, if i do say so myself. i tried once in 2017, i stared at the screen for so long just backspacing bc nothing made sense. she’s my emotional support high school sweetheart that renders me powerless with my own words. (does that help?)

back to our scheduled program:  physical pain. it’s been maybe 10 years now that i’ve made a home for it. sometimes the lights go out when it gets bad, and sometimes i decorate with flowers when it excites me and brings something new. the house is probably the ugliest thing you’ve even had to lay your eyes upon, but it’s the best i got and it’s mine to come home to. i wouldn’t give her up without a fight. and i think that’s what my mind has been doing for so many months. trying to save my home, trying to keep every symptom of pain that i have. one day i’ll have to move out or i just die in here. both are changes i just can’t seem to make. i feel like i’m running out of time to sell it and move out, to do something and get rid of the pain. and, i feel like i’m making a mistake choosing to die in here, ignoring it and having it stay or get worse. if it gets worse, i’ll need help and the day i stop feeling like a burden to people, especially my family, let me know would ya. i don’t even often know how to ask for help if i wanted it - and then there’s being cared for that’s a nope to me. i can handle every moment of my pain from all my symptoms and condition, and yet i’m the weakest person in so much. i’m not a person that fears much, most times i find it impractical honestly. i reminded myself of that on my bedroom floor last year in february, during a moment of weakness. (also yes i use a lot of home analogies in writing ok) note: i’ve been mulling through this surgery decision for maybe a year on end now.

do i wish i was scared and worried to feel an ounce of normalcy? of course. but i’m not, i wasn’t even relieved with the diagnosis that day, went out and got pizza broo. even when i thought i was going insane. because what does it matter if it doesn’t change the pain? it’s kind of strange, but when i think of all this physical pain ( is it mental too idk??), i hear this voice in my head that smoothly and confidently says “gimme all you got.” i daydream of how much more i can take, what different things my brain and body can devise before i crack. and, obviously this voice personified does this...with finger guns.

[modestybae]

Interesting that the anon forgot to mention one very crucial point. This sister he’s supposedly in love with does not return his feelings and wants nothing to do with him. At all. But he forces himself on her, manipulates her into staying besides him by using his mental illness as an excuse. And when he says things like “you’re all I have. I’m lonely. Everyone leaves me and I have no one but you” she feels guilty and can’t bring herself to cut ties despite knowing it’s haram.

She tells him she sees no future with him but he persists and persists. She feels incredibly burdened by him, incredibly guilty every moment she responds to a message knowing that she’s disobeying Allāh.  

Okay, so Im going to mash my answer up if thats alright.

@anon Uk, so I didnt know how to properly address this without being brutally honest, and since your’re basically as old as my brother (he’s 18 as well), Imma address it as such. Honestly, if my brother brought up the word marriage right now, I’d probably smack him. And if my brother had a thing for a girl, and wanted to propose in his current stage, I’d personally go to the girl’s father and advise him father against it. Even if he’s planning on marrying the girl in the future (and that cant be guaranteed), he shouldn’t be making the girl tag along on the road trip to haram land. Marriage is a responsibility. It isnt exactly a walk in the park, and it isnt  always rainbows and butterflies and sunshine like it’s perceived to be. Although it definitely has its good days, but marriage is hard work. It’s much more than lusting or being infatuated over someone. 

Since she isnt interested as you’ve said previously, and according to this anon too, you need to let her go. I know how harsh this might sound, and I really dont mean to, but a band-aid needs to be ripped off in one go, eh?                              If a girl is interested in you, and I mean interested because she’s truly interested and not being guilt trapped into staying, you’d know. It’s as obvious as the sun, pretty blinding actually. You wouldnt need to second guess, or hold onto nonexistent ropes of hope. So, no. I dont think you should go and text her and you should definitely leave it at that. Carrying one’s sins is enough, and you really dont want to carry double the sins on your back. 

What I really want you to do is work on yourself. Work on your future. Work on your mental, physical and spiritual health. You’ve a life ahead of you inshallah. Someone not being interested in you, doesnt make you unqualified nor does it make you unworthy of love. This is life, love can be unrequited at times and thats fine, even when it feels like it isnt and even when it feels like it wont ever be. It will be fine. You’ll grow out of it; and someone who’s truly interested in you will come along. Keep praying. Involve yourself in activities in the masjid or the Islamic center. Read, find a hobby. Invest in yourself.                                        Please forgive me if I’ve hurt you; but I’ll be asked over the anons I get and the advises I give. Jazak Allah khair anon UK, and jazak(i) Allah khair to the other anon. May Allah bless you both and guide you and may He grant you ease and happiness in this world and the next