#ALSO. FUCK i just remembered that track also connected to the theme that i talked about in my music post! SHIT

[inoankin]

i had at some point figured out the primary path for every single option in the game (as in, which option seemed to have been considered "canon", or at least before its counterpart, by the developers, based on how the game fits around it) and then i fucking forgot all of it

[aluria-sevhex]

I BEAT THE GAME

a solid 3rd of my ISAT notes on my phone are just from 'today' (writing this past midnight lol)

my ISAT masterpost

every post in this series is also tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)

please note that there's a bunch of notes in this post because i was still in Act 3 at the beginning of this post lol

-i'm not playing it rn but i have decided to break my 'no looking stuff up' rule so i know where to go to make Sif rember what they say when carving stuff

[WRITING TUMBLR POST ALURIA NOTE: i later looked up maps of the House to help me keep track of stuff lol]

-ok now i know. i like figuring things out myself but i could not fucking remember lol.

-i have a really long car ride so. MORE ISAT

-title theme shout-out

-Sif tripped on a rock. "you're clumsy and not at all threatening and overpowered compared to them!" :(

-they almost forgot to catch Isa :(

-dang, Siffrin didn't say nya this time D:

-hehe they hit it back. one could say it's a... COUNTER-attack B)

-SIFFRIN GHOST ON THE WAY TO THE DORM

-WAIT FUCK DID I FORGET THE SHARPENING STONE

-fuck it i was planning to loop back after finding out what to say anyway

-ah don't i also need to find more i fo on the King somewhere? eh i can do that on the next loop... so much to keep track of...

-LMAO. THE PHRASE SIF SAYS. "please don't look bad please don't look bad please don't look bad" BIG FUCKING MOOD TBH

-Sif on his way to talk to their tools and project while carving or sharpening:

-aight time to die lmao

-Loop my belooped

-hm... it's Loop's job to remember Siffrin's mistakes...

-"you don't have to remember to yell' always gets me :(

-I FOUND THE ARTICLES

-ok so currently i'm thinking that the King and Siffrin are probably from the same place. which may or may not be where Loop is from and/or the disappearing island and/or connected to the color thing.

this game has a lot of weird shit going on.

-Bonnie doesn't know what a star is

-OH FUCK NO. AM I GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO THE OBSERVATORY. I'M LEAVING THAT FOR A LATER LOOP.

-another ghost :0

-ISAT: 📚

ISAT if Siffrin could pick locks: 📕

-WHAT. "you used to find them disgusting, but someone you knew loved them, so you tried them."

"someone you knew?"

"who?"

O_O

-aw, Isa hugged Mira on this bathroom trip

-"you wish for rest" yeah...

-"please be sharp, please be sharp, please be sharp"

-the Keyknife is now the Knifekey. WAIT. THIS MEANS IN THE FUTURE I CAN DO OTHER SHIT ON FLOOR 3. HELL FUCKING YES.

-wait. OH C'MON. boooooooo

-i picked malanga fritters and almost skipped past something that seems important. they remind Siffrin of his parents? :0 their head hurt...

-"BECAUSE YOU FORCED THEM TO!" :(

-"where r u from" "no u"

-JUST FUCKING CONFESS ISA FJHDHEJKSMXMDKSKS

-*sighs* guess i should talk to her. actually... what if i called Loop?

-huh. can't call them here.

-"i just hope that one day you might learn" WAIT THAT'S DIFFERENT- wait nvm i got things mixed up in my head :(

-"in this moment, you were loved"

-"that was a nice rehearsal" OH FUCK.

-i just skipped from loop 37 to 40

-time to kill myself with a banana! oop- *plantain*

-"you broke your head open on a rock" it did not use to describe it like that.

-wait. Sif. if you're annoyed there isn't a more dignified way in the village to loop. just kill yourself. you have a knife. just fucking kill yourself to loop forward.

-...fuck what the hell is this game doing to my thought process

-ok what should i look for in this room...

-"BUT YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO READ IT" in large font... :(

-:( Sif is trying to remember something and it's tied to the stars

-aight new thing to ask the king time to get myself killed via tear yippee

-seems like the King wants Siffrin to remember their home... "something we've all forgotten" this is definitely about the disappearing island and the colors

-i need to go to the library and find the books on it.

-hey isn't Rock also called Protection Craft? kinda interesting that the King has it

-damn i died to the King because of timing bullshit ToT

-"one more time."

-huh... it evades active remembrance

-it had a belief centered on the Universe...

-need to figure out why the King is obsessed with Vaugarde

-freezing something perfect in time... do i need to find one of those Time Craft books again?

-gonna loop forward to the King

-"even the King feels easy to fight, now"

"i still can't say it" the name of their home. he wants to be able to say the name of his and Siffrin's home. ouagh this game is going to leave me emotionally devastated ToT

-fuck i missed the option to ask Odile if she was going to continue her fake research on a loop where i didn't spend time with her

-"can we group hug after i talk to the Head Housemaiden?" oh?

-DAMMIT ODILE INTERRUPTED ISA THIS TIME

-time to talk to her. again. again and again and again and again

-"you can start breaking down now" lol

-"the curtain falls" DAMN

-"HERE AGAIN?" woah Loop why so aggressive?

-"i'm too lazy to open up new dialogue choices" lol

-hm... show Loop the souvenirs...

-wait huh. in another loop this lady in Dormont said she has no siblings but now she has a sister. odd...

-:O THE LONG THINGY-THING

-huh. Loop reacted kinda weirdly to the kid's doodle

-hey what if i gave Isa the flower at the end?

-FUCK I FORGOT THE FUCKING ROCK I GOT TOO COMFY. this is embarrassing

-hey hold up the theme that plays when everybody's discussing the country in the library is the same song that plays when Loop is recapping things

-hold up. the King was in Corbeaux. Corbeaux is where the House doing the color research is.

-took the photo. PERFECTLY FROZEN IN TIME

-oh fuck

-calling Loop

-hm. the star-shaped gate that's locked. is the passcode the name of Siffrin and the King's home?

-we're gonna use a bomb i guess

-i asked the King where he's from and uh... now a slowed-down version of the song is playing...

-what the fuck

-Sif and the King are going to die, aren't they?

-"BUT IT'S ALL GONE!"

-i'm going to loop forward and try to talk to the King. again.

-*sighs* the peel is so dorky

-FUCK I FORGOT TO EQUIP THE MEMORY OF KNIFEKEY

-wait. asking him nicely. FUCKING WORKED???

-"The Universe leads... we can only follow"

-FUCK. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. OF COURSE. OF COURSE. OF COURSE. GO FUCK YOURSELF.

-so the King knows about the loops, even though he can't remember them.

-"Wish Craft" :0

-WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO.

-BONNIE NO

-NO NO NO NO UNHAND THEM

-BONNIE NO BONBON NO

-okay. i looped back. Bonnie is okay again. i just need to kill the King.

-hold the fuck up. it says i'm in Act 4. bad things mark the end of acts. Act 1 ended with me getting in the loops. Act 2 ended with killing the King failing. Act 3 ended with...?

-please don't let Bonnie be dead somehow

-THEY'RE OKAY THEY'RE OKAY

-...the little moments of time rewinding seem to correlate with Sif wishing to go back

-:O I CAN READ THE BOOKS NOW

-THE GATE. OH FUCK YEAH

-fucking hell when did i get (Just attack) because DAMN. Sif is so fucking done with everything.

-WISH CRAFT

-i just fumkign one-shot the Nostalgie on floor 1. "just attack" indeed

-"you need a break" :(

-Sif is like constantly teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown

-let's see how well they do against a boss

-DAMN

-ok so what the fuck was Euphrasie doing before shit hit the fan? and why does she blame herself for Siffrin's situation?

-i just realized something funny. if Vaugarde is fantasy France. and Siffrin and the King are from an island north of Vaugarde. DOES THAT MAKE SIFFRIN FANTASY BRITI- *gets shot*

-gate time.

-what was the question? what was the answer?

-"couldn't i just create another me? someone who'd understand?" ok so somebody's a clone got it.

-Loop? i should talk to Loop

-ok i guess i'll have to be like "hey Loop are you a clone?" in person (plot twist Sif's a clone :P)

-"i saw a weird shade" WAIT HOLD UP YEAH THAT'S SUS THAT SIFFRIN FUCKING SAW RED. OK THAT WAS DIAGETIC. FIRST COLOR IN THE WHOLE GAME.

-gonna kill the King again, talk to Loop, then loop again forward to Floor 2 to read the color theory book

-WAIT SIFFRIN HASN'T CRIED ONCE THIS WHOLE GAME BITCH REPRESSION IS NOT HEALTHY!

-"especially if she knows" Sif. did you forget Odile's name. OH FUCK

-"HOW BLINDINGLY WONDERFUL, FOR A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER TO BE THE ONLY HOPE YOU HAVE LEFT RIGHT NOW!" this would be so funny if not for the context

-"you wish for eternity" WAIT HOLD UP

-SIFFRIN IS USING WISH CRAFT. AND WHEN THEY PRAY TO THE CHANGE GOD STATUES THEY SEND THEIR WISHES. ARE THE BUFFS AND THE KEYKNIFE THE RESULT OF WISH CRAFT?

-hey Siffrin uses a more shy and sad portrait for the 'thank you' afterwards now :(

-FUCK I FORGOT TO SHARPEN THE KNIFE

-y'know what it's fine i have the bomb

-hey Sif i think what happened last time might've uh. traumatized you? ;-;

-welp. i used the bomb. it was anticlimactic.

-"i wonder how this country looks from the outside" *proceeds to imply that the time loop only affects Vaugarde* hold the fucking phone

-ok tho srsly Siffrin is in what looks like *extreme* duress

-oh damn Sif has different portraits for the 'you should disappear' bit. less smug and determined, more... *haunted*

-dang, can't give Isa the flower at the end

-*sigh* gonna talk to her again

-"the actor has become the director"

-there's a lot more theatre comparisons than there used to :(

-woah Siffrin you are weirdly enthusiastic to see Loop

-time to loop forward to read the books woooo

-Sif i am very concerned about this dialogue portrait. your enthusiasm is *desperate*

-hey something funny: people wish on stars

-this game has a LOT of motifs i love: wishes, stars, time, memories, etc.

-hm... what is Siffrin's 'ritual' when doing the wish-y thing?

-:0 a wish is trapping Siffrin?

-what if they're actually being trapped by their own desires or smth? like some sort of- WAIT. WHAT IF LOOP IS TRAPPING THEM SOMEHOW???

-i am in conspiracy mode i think

-moving forward to get to the library

-Siffrin is now level 85...

-maybe a wish is how the island disappeared?

-FAVOR TREE IS WISH CRAFT WOOOOOOOO

-i think the way Sif wished was from something they learned as a kid

-3, 6, 7, 13, all are numbers with significance

-HEY LOOP LOOK WHAT I LEARNED

-welp time to die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-ok what is in that one house in the main part of Dormont

-hm. Euphrasie was apparently asking everybody what they wished for. she probably realized something tied to Wish Craft was wrong...

-maybe the list in Euphrasie's office cataloguing the names was categorizing based on wishes?

-looping forward

-"you're a living comedy sketch"

-my guess is that the wishing to save Vaugarde enabled Siffrin to loop so they could defeat the King, but something went horribly wrong, thus causing the loops to keep going

-ugh i need to talk in person. tear time!

-a sped-up version of the happy song after you beat the King is playing and Siffrin has the desperate enthusiasm portrait...

-Siffrin, you already tried saving Vaugarde.

-"maybe you don't loop because you die... but because you feel like there would be no reason to go on, maybe?" makes sense to me. Siffrin doesn't have anything to look forward to after defeating the King.

-"something that, to you, feels on the same level of hopelessness as death? on the same level as the world ending?" me when the time loop wants me to get therapy:

-hey Sif you just looped. right in front of Loop.

-looping forward to the King.

-Odile's realizing she's missing something. too bad she'll forget it. maybe i should try making the others really suspicious of me on a future loop

-"please don't interrupt" :(

-this game has me constantly on some variety of edge and i love it

-maybe this time Isa will get to confess?

-the static is starting and i haven't even talked to Euphrasie

-damn i did a minor loop back :(

-talking to her won't work. it can't work.

-STOP SAYING THE SAME DAMN THING STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

-I WAS RIGHT AS TO HOW EXACTLY SIF GOT STUCK

-the wish is broken. MAYBE IF I DO SOMETHING ELSE MAYBE IF HE'S DEFEATED SOME OTHER WAY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

-OH FUCK. so Sif's current theory is that somehow he has to deal the final blow

-"You just need to defeat the King on your own" BUT YOU NEED THE OTHERS TO DEFEAT HIM?

-also damn the way Siffrin's thoughts spiral into a mess is a mood.

-i am now in Act 5.

-:( the Dormont music is slow now

-Sif's portrait in the menus has changed again, there is nothing in the body text of his profile, and their title is now "The Lost One" :(

-wait. the Change God statue is glitchy now and i can't get buffs there anymore

-Sif is like perpetually pissed off

-aaaand now Mira's upset

-Sif is going to fuck things up with the others as well, won't they?

-i think Odile's gonna figure out that Sif is in a time loop

-i feel like i'm in a horror game right now. well. i've felt like that for a while. but i am fucking terrified of Siffrin right now. Siffrin you need help please they only want to help you you can't bottle up everything or it only ends up worse

-the battle theme is slowed...

-sometime i should write a crossover fanfic where Rose Lalonde picks apart Siffrin, i think it would go very interestingly

-unrelated but i just realized Isa has a hair banana hehehe... i need to cling to levity while in this hell

-uh. dude. why is your dialogue looping

-SIFFRIN! I. I KNOW YOU'RE STRUGGLING BUT ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS HELP YOU AND YOU KEEP HURTING THEM PLEASE THEY ONLY WANT TO HELP YOU I KNOW VULNERABILITY IS HARD BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THEY'VE BEEN *TRYING* AND THEY'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT KINDA TO YOU AND IT HURTS TO SEE THIS SIFFRIN BECAUSE YOU KEEP GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AND IT'S TERRIFYING!

-fuck man this game is getting me to care so much about this guy. Mental Illness Simulator 2023

-the irony of Sif calling Isa a coward who projects confidence but not backing it up... Siffrin is projecting.

-and yet despite all that... Isa still ended the conversation rather kindly ToT

-Loop seems really unsure and yeah. past me would not believe this but i am siding with the starheaded bitch.

-...Loop fucking LIED

-Sif is going alone

-oh dear the music

-most of the memories are gone. and the skills...

-level 99

-wait the room layout is fucked

-a Sif ghost but with a black hat instead

-"you're hungry" :(

-so. i think Sif just hallucinated his party members.

-"your stomach hurts. you feel cold." :(

-the world is glitching and breaking haha and i am scared i'm scared i'm scared Siffrin *please*

-how is the photo event occurring if i'm on my own?

-*oh no*

-ok brb i need to take a break

-ok back from my break and refreshed! now i can go back to Siffrin's Descent Into Hell

-entered Mira's room. her hallucination did the "head is covered in darkness creepily" thing...

-Odile...

-i'm in the Keyknife room except now the background is the post-King fight background...

-the feeling of the grim march towards a specific goal reminds me of the Undertale genocide route haha...ha...ha... ...

-stomachache, headache, and the smell of sugar...

-no more running, only a slow, slow, walk to the end

-"you've trapped this country in time even more surely than i have" oh fuck

-not often that a game makes me terrified enough for me to feel my heartbeat...

-red.

-his sprite is on the game over?

-where the FUCK am i?

-spooky shadow Siffrin

-OOO DO I GET TO FIGHT A MANIFESTATION OF SIFFRIN'S MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES?

-hm what does mal du pays mean- oh :( it translated to homesickness :(

-you can't fight your own shadow

-"it's not like you haven't let me die before, right?" *OH FUCK*

-you broke your promise didn't you?

-red

-dude i think the depression is collecting its due. loops and loops of bottling your shit up has been unhealthy and now you are paying for it :(

-"if something has been forgotten by everyone, has that thing ever existed?" FUCK

-red

-more red

-BRIGHT RED

-if i had a nickel for every rpg i liked where a monochrome manifestation of the main character's mental illness taunted him in a scripted fight, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. bonus: the dialogue box calls Mal du Pays 'something'! oh and both games open with a content warning i guess

y'know maybe the fact i found out about this game from a blogger that i followed for Omori stuff should've been some sort of indicator.

-"the sadness within you is right" FUCK

-OH GOOD SIF DIDN'T DIE THE FAMILY CAME TvT

-"a weird shiny person helped us!" LOOP :D

-AND THE MUSIC IS UPBEAT OH THIS FEELS SO GOOD TvT

-IT HAS THE TITLE SCREEN MOTIF TOO

-i'l have to look up the song later and compare to other themes but i think it might be a medley/remix? i've definitely identified the post-King fight theme and the title theme, probably more i can't clearly identify

-everybody's battle portraits are so bright and happy

-"i still cannot remember its name" :(

-damn. he froze. womp womp

-ok but what about Loop? what's going on with them?

-glitchy background...

-i'm on Act 5. aren't there like 6 acts? idk maybe this can end and Sif can move forward. then again... the last few times. that did not work out.

-haha Sif pls don't die on us rlly tho pls don't

-so slow...

-RED...

-Mal du Pays is following us

-FUCK

-*exhales* ok the darkness is gone

-is it weird that i kinda like this moment more than the moments of closeness with the others in Act 3? maybe cuz it feels more real, somehow... or because for once, Siffrin is the one being vulnerable...

-i think the problem was sticking to the script and treating the others like actors or well... NPCs

-FUCK FUCK FUCK NO NO NO DON'T YOU DARE GO INTO GLITCHY MODE.

-FUCK

-now that they're here they know something is wrong.

-please game please grant Siffrin one small mercy and let the others loop back with him this time

-RED

-uhhhhhhhh

-Sif did you just become your weird sadness self

-woah this is a beautiful scene

-WOAH. now THIS is a battle! and it is *beautiful*. the red and the stars...

-oh fuck. my options are hurt them or self-harm.

-wait are they HEALING ME? :(

-the battle menu simply refers to Siffrin as 'user'

-JGJRJENNDNRJE LMAO ODILE JUST PULLED A CLASSIC MOM MOVE LIKE "don't you dare storm up to your room earlier in time, young man!"

-forced group therapy

-oh, Siffrin's portrait

-i HATE that my options are hurt my friends or hurt myself. and i refuse to let Siffrin hurt their friends. it's... heartbreaking...

-chat i don't think the wish the player chooses was Siffrin's *actual* wish

-:0 hatless Siffrin

-AWWWW THEY'RE HUGGING

-aw... smiling Sif... hugging Bonnie :]

-:0 EVERYBODY IS SO HAPPY IN THE MENU!

-"It's you!!!!" also hey Sif's title is "The Traveler" again!

-"you will stay together for a little while longer" :]

-i love how the lack of hat makes the fact that Siffrin is really short apparent lol

-these new conversations are precious :]

-Odile thinks the fact that Sif loved everybody so much they got himself stuck in a time loop to be cute XD

-NO WAY. IS THIS FINALLY HAPPENING. IS HE FINALLY GONNA SAY IT?

-HELL FUCKING YES!!!!!!!!

-ok i just talked to all the housemaidens and Dormont residents. time to talk to Loop

-...

-maybe Loop was just. a manifestation of the wish...

-:0 THE SILVER COIN? ARE WE GONNA FINSLLY USE THE SILVER COIN?

-TvT

-I BEAT THE GAME :D

-:o Siffrin is no longer on the title screen

[crystallizedday]

So I’ve been hyperfixating on both Demongo & Fusionfall as of late, & I wanted to put that energy to good use somehow.

But since I currently do not have the energy to draw anything as of late, I decided to do something

A little different.

Since Demongo is only ever canonically shown as an enemy/obstacle in Samurai Jack, Fusionfall had to make a few creative decisions to better flesh out his character so he could interact with players in an organic way.

This means that Fusionfall added QUITE a lot to his character, something that I have been keeping track of for quite some time now. While it is very unlikely that any additions to Demongo’s character line up with Genndy’s vision for the character…

I mean

Genndy doesn’t do shit with the character anyway. Y’all remember what happened in season 5?

Heartbreaking shit for any Demongo fans out there…

SO

To show some appreciation for my boy

& also to talk about what exactly Fusionfall added to his character

I want to cover every single significant detail regarding Demongo’s character.

I will split this up into 3 sections: his NPC voice lines, his Nano voice lines, & his text box dialogue.

Let’s start with his

NPC VOICE LINES

Because not only are the lines coming from the original Demongo, but they’re voiced by his og voice actor as well, so if any of these sections were to be considered the most “canon” depiction of him, it’s this one.

I have actually found & recorded all 15 different voice lines from him & packaged em all into a zip file… but I’m stupid & I don’t know how to insert that shit into Tumblr, or if that’s even a good idea considering zip files tend to be sus as fuck.

So uh

For now

Y’all just gotta take my word.

After thoroughly reviewing all the voice lines, there is ONE key addition to his character here that stands out right off the back.

This version of Demongo is the SASSIEST he’s ever been.

He literally will either greet you by sarcastically asking if you’re looking for a mission to do like an absolute smartass, or he’ll just talk down to you & refer to you as “another human child”.

Hell, referring to you as a child is something he commonly does in these lines.

Most of the time, he will speak to you in a way that emphasizes his own importance, especially when he talks to you via the nanocomm.

He definitely displays that classic huge ego his original character had, but he sometimes has a bit of a cheeky tone about it, like the sorta vibes you’d get from a rich & spoiled kid who thinks they’re the greatest thing to be put on this planet.

One of my favorite examples of this is when you accept a mission from him, & he’ll sometimes tell you “Do you think YOU can save the world?”

However, as much as he downplays your abilities, he also will sometimes find interest in your endeavors & even be impressed when you complete a mission.

One of his victory lines also has him actually openly celebrating your accomplishment, which is a cute detail that’ll come back later when we talk about his Nano lines.

While this isn’t exactly something that says a lot about his personality, I also wanted to point out how one of his victory lines has him remarking “Your soul BURNS with a warriors fire!” This remark actually attempts to connect Demongo’s fire theme in his design to his whole soul-collecting shtick, suggesting that to HIM, stronger & more determined souls will have a fiery aura to them… which is unsurprising considering that ONE Japanese legend about blue fire & souls &- I’m getting ahead of myself WKWWKSMSODMOM

No matter what Demongo says to the player, he always speaks in a manner where his tone of voice drastically shifts from word to word.

You know that whole bit where the fandom likes to call this guy a theater kid?

Well

With how he says shit in such a dramatic, expressive, & ever-changing tone…

He kinda IS.

He SOUNDS like someone up on a stage, putting their heart into EVERY SINGLE line they say.

It’s honestly kinda adorable.

One last thing I found significant about his lines his how he fully admits that he often schemes in his downtime. However, while this may be interpreted as him scheming against the good guys, I don’t think this is the case, especially since we’ve never had a mission from him that either relates to Aku or gives him something powerful that HE could use against the heroes. I will talk more about this once we get to the text box section.

But before we do that, we need to move onto the

NANO VOICE LINES

There are… a LOT of voice lines for his nano counterpart.

Thankfully, all of these lines are publicly available here!

So y’all can have a listen to them whenever you please!

I am unsure just HOW much of the original Demongo carries over in his Nano counterpart’s personality, so what I’ve done is cross-reference Nano Demongo’s lines with Nano Aku’s lines. After all, Aku is a rather interesting character since he’s both a terrifying threat while also being a lil bit of a fucking dork in the original show, & while HE isn’t present in Fusionfall, his nano IS.

So anything goofy Nano Demongo displays that Nano Aku doesn’t suggests that these lil quirks ARE things that originate from the original Demongo (the Fusionfall version, of course).

Imma list each of my individual findings numerically so they’re a bit more organized & easier to read.

Ahem…

1) Demongo enjoys dancing

Considering even Aku enjoys boogying a bit (at least in season 5), it isn't all that surprising that this trait carries over to Demongo.

However, comparing Nano Demongo's lines with Nano Aku's, Aku acts more so like he is forcing YOU to dance, & sounds like he does not enjoy having to dance himself.

This makes sense considering the very specific circumstances season 5 Aku was in, so I’m certain Aku wouldn’t typically be in the mood for that sort of nonsense.

On the other hand, Nano Demongo LOVES to dance. He ADORES it, & even though one of his lines is rather demanding, it isn't in a "you will dance or I will disintegrate you" kind of way like how Nano Aku’s lines would be like. Nano Demongo wants you to dance WITH him, not FOR him.

His lil “Go go DemONGO!!” as one of his lines is so fucking cute that it actually makes me a lil mad KWMWKWMWKDMEODMON

HE IS SO PROUD OF HIS DANCE MOVES, I CAN’T

FUCK

… ahem

Uh

Him loving to dance actually lines up pretty well with the theater kid energy he already has, so this trait actually fits for him.

I think he’d be pretty damn good at ballet KAMWKWMWKSMSODMDOM

2) Demongo can experience love

Look

I know this sounds fanfictiony

But

Like

When one of his lines is basically just “Demons need love too!” & like ACTUALLY DOING THE FUCKIN DREAMY SIGH THING in another line

Like

Come on

How are you gonna disprove that?

& this isn’t something exclusive to the nano counterparts.

Nano Aku will just say shit like "love is for losers" & pushes the love narrative onto someone else, claiming THEY are infatuated with HIM.

So while Aku doesn’t give two shits about the subject (aromantic icon /j /j /j), Demongo's out here acting absolutely SMITTEN, one of his lines being him promising not to eat a person's soul purely out of infatuation.

Like

Damn

Like Aku's canonically tried impressing literal children before so they adore & look up to him before, but Demongo really do be shaping up to be the bigger dork of the two KWMWKWMWOSMWO

Like

It’s probably HARD to imagine even Fusionfall Demongo having the capacity to love, but since even Nano Aku is disinterested in that sort of shit, it’s hard to just excuse it as a nano-exclusive thing.

Plus

I think it’s cute. KAKWWKISDMOSXKOMK

Makes me wonder if FF Demongo has exes, cause that would be kinda funny to explore KAWNWODMWOMDOWDM

3) Demongo cries. Hard

Not only does Nano Demongo have TWO SEPARATE lines where he's just bawling his fuckin eyes out, like straight up whimpering & wailing, but Aku's lines in comparison are just "this is so sad" with the most fake fuckin crying I have ever heard KWNWKWMWKSNWOXKONWC

& when I say “fake crying”

I mean like

“Oh booo hoooo, lemme play a sad song for you on the world’s smallest violin…” kind of fake crying. There’s like NO effort behind it KWMWKWMWODKEON

Like

Aku out here never expresses sadness to such a dramatic degree (& only ever gets like… emotionally depressed in season 5 where he just doesn’t feel like doing anything)

Meanwhile Demongo is bawling like SpongeBob during the dark ages of the show KWMWKWMWOSMSODMON

Im almost convinced FF Demongo has the ability to cry on command, just so other people will pity him so much that they’ll do shit for him.

It’s a good substitute for threatening them when uh

He can’t exactly live up to his threats

Since his powers got yoinked…

So what better way to get other people to do what you say than to make them feel like a piece of shit for NOT helping you?? OWMWKWMWODMWODM

4) Demongo can get overwhelmingly terrified

Like

Yeah

Duh

He’s helpless without his powers

So it makes sense that without them, he’d feel like anything could kill him at any minute.

But he straight up sounds like a cornered mouse in one of his lines. It sounds like he’s balled up in a corner, panicked for his well-being.

It’s actually kinda sad…

For all his talk of being the best there is, I can imagine that if he finds himself powerless, he just goes into panic-mode if he feels like he’s in danger.

& the fact that this is one of the more canon-accurate additions to his character breaks me wee lil heart…

… oh also

Nano Aku’s scared lines are like

Uh

Mm

Let’s just say they DON’T sound like he’s scared…

So that again isn’t a nano-exclusive part of Nano Demongo’s personality.

But this isn’t really a big claim, so :p KWMWKSMWODKS

5) Demongo laughs like a god damn dork when he genuinely finds something funny

Like we know he's got that gremlin laugh in the show & it's wacky as fuck, but according to his audio files, when bro is fuckin AMUSED, he displays some of the DORKIEST laughs l've ever heard out of a cartoon demon.

I’m not being biased.

Listen to the files yourself.

He like

Does the nerdiest lil “HEH!!” in one of them. It’s so fuckin GOOFY WOEMDODMDOSKDODK

Meanwhile, Nano Aku sounds like what you'd expect Aku to sound like when laughing.

Just evil laughs all around.

Not Demongo though, no no NO.

Bro laughs like how me or my own buds laugh.

Like a fucking nerd.

This is another cute addition to his character.

I dunno. I just like the idea of Demongo being such a sassy dork, but often puts up a tough & menacing front so people will take him seriously.

It’s that kind of characterization that inspired me to make the Duo of Doom AU, actually.

Speaking of the funni fella being a fuckin dork

6) Demongo is adorably ECSTATIC when victorious

Like

Nano Aku's out here with his classic bellowing evil laugh & shit

It’s what you’d expect from Aku

& then there's Demongo

Who sounds like a god damn excited cheerleader when you & him win a fight (it’s in the “Battle Outcome” folder, if you’re following along with the audio files).

& then you have bro's cute lil "let us REJOICE!!"

Like that’s the kind of shit you’d hear an optimistic or comic relief character say at the end of an episode or animated movie where they’re like “Let’s PARTY!!” or something.

You don’t get that shit from Nano Aku, & especially his og counterpart.

I like to think that if FF Demongo did end up pulling off something cool or successfully accomplished something, he’d get so fuckin excited over it, maybe even doing a short celebratory dance cause he just feels like he NEEDS to with how excited he is KWMWKWMKWMWOSKOM

& then promptly panic when he realizes he’s not the only one in the area & fears that someone just saw him dancing like a fuckin dork OWMWKWMWOEKEODMSOXKSOCKOM

There’s so much you can do with his character in FusionFall that it pisses me off how no one in the FF fandom’s taken advantage of this shit…

Y’all keep writing him as this super serious character, & I’m just sitting here like

Naw, man

You don’t know him like I do /j /j /j KQMQKWMWKWMWKWMWOEMEOEM

Okay.

Now we have ONE more section to cover before y’all can understand this character just as much as I do.

We now need to look at his

TEXT BOX DIALOGUE

You can find all his dialogue on various wiki pages covering the missions he gives & missions that he just so happens to be a part of for one reason or another.

I recommend using the breezewiki Fusionfall pages since they actually showcase Demongo’s lil “emails” he gives you as you progress through the missions he gives you.

However, if that website doesn’t work for you for whatever reason (like how it is on my end), the fandom wiki will do just fine.

I’ll also provide SOME screenshots of my findings so I actually have some photo evidence for what I’m about to claim.

Before we do that, however…

Yes

Demongo DOES often speak in third person in the written dialogue.

I dunno why, since he doesn’t talk that way in his debut episode…

So I just like to ignore that trait of his

Or just say that he started talking like that cause Aku tends to refer to himself in the third person sometimes, so maybe he got it from the big guy himself…

Speaking of Aku

Hot take:

I don’t think Demongo’s working for Aku.

I know this doesn’t say much about FF Demongo’s personality, but it’s just something that I want to address cause I feel like I’m one of the few people that believe bro isn’t snitching on everyone to Aku.

There is a mission where you need to retrieve something for Demongo before a timer runs out. If it does, Demongo says this to you.

Notice how Demongo refers to Aku here.

Isn’t it a little odd that he refers to Aku as his “lord” & not his “master”?

It COULD be an oversight

OR

It could be that he currently sees Aku as his lord, much like a civilian to a king, rather than his master, someone he directly works under.

Additionally

Isn’t it also odd that the only time he mentions Aku to you directly is when you fail him?

Sounds like SOMEBODY remembers that time he first failed Aku & got fucking crushed…

But considering Demongo gives you a second chance to fetch the thingie for him…

Mmm

Seems kinda generous of him, don’t you think?

I like to see this as Demongo, having experienced that position before, not wanting to do the same thing to you (especially since… well, he can’t do shit to you while he’s weak like this).

He doesn’t wanna be the Aku in THAT situation…

& the only other time he mentions Aku is this line here, when you ask him about his allegiance on behalf of Jack.

Yes. It IS shady that he doesn’t outright say that he’s working for Aku.

But like

If Aku is watching

Then why the fuck would he say that he ISN’T working for him?

He doesn’t wanna be offed for potential treason after all.

& if he was REALLY working for Aku, then he wouldn’t be in the position he’s in right now.

He’s powerless. He has to rely on others at the campsite to ensure his safety.

If he was working for Aku, then bro would be FINE. He wouldn’t be HERE, at the campsite.

If Aku is watching, then he doesn’t need a spy to keep an eye on Jack & the others for him.

THAT’s why I believe Demongo isn’t just fooling everyone to get info for Aku.

Hell, a friend of mine suggests that Demongo may not even KNOW if Aku still wants the fiery lil guy working for him, like he just pissed off his boss but never got that notice that he got fired. Maybe Demongo genuinely doesn’t even know.

Also, all of his missions are either about the master weapon or about himself & ensuring his reputation isn’t tarnished by his weakened state.

He doesn’t ask for anything suspicious.

Hell, when you DO get all the master weapons, he doesn’t get all giddy about having such powerful items at his disposal. No.

Because he too expects the player to use them to help win the fight against Fuse. He KNOWS their chances of winning are greatly enhanced by having the weapons in more capable & experienced hands…

& then Jack asks you to destroy them, but that’s a whole other story KWNWKWMWOSMWO

Demongo just never acts like he’s doing anything FOR Aku, & is just focusing on himself, probably because that’s the only thing he CAN focus on without his old master being there as a safety net.

Overall. I find this interpretation to be a FASCINATING way to better humanize his character a bit…

Speaking of humanizing him

The entire “Infernal Racket” set of missions talk about how hard it is for Demongo to concentrate when a bunch of floating rock head guys across the campsite keep smashing into each other like football players, & he remarks how he’s losing sleep over the noise.

Meaning he actually sleeps.

& considering he resides at a campsite

I can only imagine that one of those tents is his.

I just find that fact cute KWMWKWMWODMW

This also makes me think that Demongo has trouble concentrating if the environment isn’t quiet enough.

As someone with ADHD…

I can relate KWNWKWMWODMWODMOEFK

It is ALSO this line of missions that reveals something adorable about him

He has a favorite color.

& he doesn’t DEMAND blue ear muffs either.

He says it like he just asked you to get him a slushie, & he’s just like “I mean, I would LIKE a blue raspberry, but if they’re out, it’s fine. It’s whatever. I mean, I’s be a lil bummed out about it, but it’s no big deal, I guess.”

… which is also something I can relate to KWNWKWMWOWMWODKK

It’s like

One of the few times he acts so casual with you as the player.

It makes me think that he honestly WOULD act a lil more casually if he were to drop the whole “I’m super powerful” front & actually

Ya know

BE emotionally vulnerable for once.

& I think that’s a really sweet idea…

… Ah!!

I almost forgot!

Remember that “scheming” line from his NPC’s dialogue?

THIS is what I believe he is referring to when he says that.

He seems to actually STUDY the master weapons you collect.

Even Jack admits that he had immense knowledge regarding this kind of magical weaponry, which appears to be quite useful.

Additionally, Demongo is also the one to initiate one of the final & direct attacks in Fuse’s territory, having planned to use Eduardo’s imaginary energy against Fuse’s forces.

I’m almost certain HE planned out this attack.

Him being a good strategizer (if that’s even a legit word) honestly fits with his whole “making souls fight for him” shtick.

Sure, he probably isn’t a genius (ESPECIALLY in comparison to Dexter or Mojo), but he KNOWS how to plan attacks, & thus probably spends a lot of his time doing THAT as well.

That’s probably what he means by “scheming”.

It’s honestly a shock that he doesn’t boast about this clear skill of his like he does with his “powers”.

JACK is the one to point out how knowledgeable he is about magic & strategy.

To me, it kinda feels like Demongo takes his knowledge on these subjects GENUINELY seriously. Maybe it’s cause these are things that take him time to flesh out & perfect & shit, & he’s just so focused on learning & executing what he can that he doesn’t even think of it being necessary to brag about this shit.

I dunno. I just found that lil detail interesting KWMWKSMWOSSMOD

… speaking of having to interpret shit

This shit

Confused me

For the longest time

Until I eventually realized something:

They help him keep up a semi-menacing appearance.

Like

I can imagine he uses them as discount fog machines, helping to make the atmosphere around him more mysterious & intimidating…

Which is SO fuckin dorky & also plays into his whole “theater kid” personality…

… which can ALSO be seen HERE.

Like

Guys

Guys

For the love of god

All we need now is confirmation that bro sings in his free time KWWMOWMWOSMSEODMEKN

Actually

Since we’re on the topic of Demongo’s goofy attributes

There is ONE more thing I wanted to share before I wrap up this post.

The world is fucking ENDING in this universe

& Demongo is FAR TOO PETTY & butt-hurt to even talk to Jack directly.

It is HILARIOUS KAMWKWSMWOSM

He’s such a brat sometimes, but that’s what makes him such a fun character in my eyes KWMWOWMWOSM

AAAAAANYWAY

That’s all I have for now.

If there’s anything I showcased here that you have a different interpretation for, POP OFF!!

I LOVE hearing people’s different takes on this kind of stuff!!

I love seeing how creative people can get OAMWKWMWKWMWOWMWOEOM

Uhhh anyway

I hope this post has opened some of your eyes about how much potential Demongo has as a character, inside & even outside of Fusionfall.

…

& ALSO makes you wish that Genndy treated him with just as much love & respect as the Fusionfall team did KWMWKWMWKDMEOFM

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

What the shit is everhood

(Info dump pls?)

Gladly! ^w^

so everhood is a game that I would say is very similar to undertale, from the pixel art style to the humour to the general uhh theme? i guess is the word? Where you play as a wooden puppet named red on a quest to get your arm back from gold pig. The battle mechanic is a rhythm based system where you have to jump around and over beats the enemies through at you. The music is absolutely fucking fantastic and i actually bought the soundtrack i like it so much lol

a couple battles get absolutely insane with the visuals too, to the point im not even totally sure i can do a description justice? you can check out this video if you're curious, theres really no spoilers in this battle but it shows what im talking about. these battles are where the photosensitivity warning really comes in though, so be cautious if that effects you

I can't go too deep into the plot without getting into spoiler territory, so i'll put that under the cut for anyone who's curious, but here's what I can say! You go around collecting clues to find gold pig and get your arm back, and along the way you get to meet all the wonderful characters that populate Everhood. Like Rasta beast, Noseferatchu the sneezing vampire, Flan and Muck, the dancing mushrooms, a vampire who's name always changes. You really get to know and love these characters while also learning that maybe everything isn't as it seems in Everhood. Maybe, actually nothing is what it seems. Maybe you're the only one willing to do something about. But..... are you willing?

oh also kermit is there and I think he might be god? Also you can kill him and it impacts literally nothing

Full plot summary under the cut. I highly recommend you play the game without spoilers, but if you're like me and you Need to know what happens before you play then go wild. I'll only be talking about the intended good ending though, since I haven't gotten around to playing the secret endings yet- oh also mild spoilers for undertale i guess if youre worried about that in 2023

so when I say its similar to undertale in themes, its sort of. in a reverse sense. In undertale the good ending is the pacifist route. By saving the monsters you help them escape the underground and better their situation. It is mercy, the direct functional opposite of killing, that saves you. There is no mercy kill because using mercy ends the fight period.

Well in Everhood, the good ending requires you to kill everyone.

Your arm was taken from you because you've done this before, wiped out countless lives, friends even. And now you must finish the job. Its hard and sad and it sucks but it has to be you because no one else is going to. It falls on you to go back to these spots you've been through already, these happy cheerful locations, and hunt down everyone you've come to know over the course of the game.

so why do you need to kill everyone? and how on earth is it similar to undertale at all? well, Everhood isn't just the title of the game or the location it takes place, its the state every single character in the game is stuck in.

in the distant past, humanity found a way to reach another world, one they called Everhood. And in this world, no one could ever die. Some people chose to stay in this world, which lost connection to the human world for some reason i dont remember rn, and in doing so slowly lost their humanity. They lived for eons and eons and eons, changing their shape and loosing themselves in the process. You discover at one point that the Green Mage, a chaotic character whom I love, has been keeping track of the years everyone has spent in Everhood, every year a tally on the wall of their secret playroom. It takes three hours to get to the end of this hallway, to give you an idea of scale here. three real time hours.

Your character, Red, is a vessel for the literal human player behind the screen to free the inhabitants of Everhood from eternity. They aren't really happy. They can't be. They've been stuck for so long, and even though they beg and plead for you not to kill them you have to. Its the only way for them to be happy and move on from Everhood. And don't get me wrong you CAN choose not to go through with it. You have to actively fight back after this reveal to kill anyone. I haven't played through this way, so I can't speak on it.

The ending is sort of ambiguous, in which Pink (the person pretending to be Red and letting you the player control them) goes to an afterlife after killing everyone and gets to see them one last time, and they're happy. They forgive you. One by one you talk to them and they thank you for freeing them, apologize for fighting you, and move on happily to whatever comes after death. I choose to interpret it literally, but there's something to be said about the idea it's all in Pink's head. I don't think it was meant to be taken that way, but its one way to look at it.

The game sort of looses people with this being the good ending. But I think it's a beautiful metaphor. Sometimes you keep doing things that hurt you only because you're used to it. Maybe you don't even realize how its hurting you, its better than the alternative right? For the longest time I kept my bedroom blinds perpetually closed because the bright sunlight gave me headaches. I didn't realize just how depressed it was making me to be in near constant darkness like that. It was only after I bought a plant on a whim that I realized how much happier I was letting in the sunlight. You get so used to bad habits and awful jobs and clothes you hate because they're familiar. And doesn't it just seem easier? To take non-action and let everyone keep living and having fun in Everhood? Green Mage hosts DnD every week (or whatever counts as a week after you've lived for eternity), go play with the mushrooms in the forest, doesn't that sound lovely? You don't have to kill anyone, just keep living on exactly as you were! You have friends here Red! It hurts too much to kill them! they don't want to die! why not just give up? How could anything good come from the pain of change?

[themanwhomadeamonster]

prefacing this by saying i love dd2's soundtrack and i have some of it downloaded on my phone already. but i recognise that it gets a lot of criticism (for good reason too imo) and i am going to explore why that is without trying to sound like a hater 😭 also slight spoilers because i talk about the end credits theme

tl;dr: main title screen theme fucks up perception of the rest of the soundtrack because it's so musically disconnected from everything else

i think the problem with dd2's soundtrack "lacking a (recognisable) leitmotif" isn't that there lacks a leitmotif because there's actually two main ones, both of which stem from the end credits song. this generally isn't a bad thing, though just one is usually standard, there are sets out there where more than one leitmotif is used. the thing is though, in dd2 most of the in-game soundtracks use variations of the chorus melody (cyclops, griffin, some story cinematics, etc.) and quite recognisably too imo which makes sense!, but the (main) title screen uses the melody from the verses.

(side note: before anyone argues that even the chorus leitmotif isn't present in the generic combat soundtracks either, that wasn't the case for dd1/da either (except for the low intensity dd1 combat track) so i think dd2 can be excused on that front. i also think it's good that they didn't use it everywhere in either game because it would get annoying very quickly)

nobody remembers the theme of the dd2 title screen (don't lie, i don't either and i had to crank my brain to recall it when writing this) because you barely hear its leitmotif in-game until the very end during a handful of cinematic cutscenes. i think even the trailer music uses the chorus melody. so you have two competing leitmotifs, and on top of that, the one which SHOULD be memorable because it's the title screen theme is actually very rarely heard in-game. you wouldn't piece this together until the end of the game, AND that's if you even stick around for the credits to let it play!

in ddda, the title screen theme already plays in the first cassardis cinematic AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME, in a scene that was emotionally significant early on. those who hand down the story as an ending medley works because it's of two already strongly established themes (cassardis + eternal return). this didn't work with dd2's end credits theme because the two leitmotifs were not established as cohesively by that point. dd2's chosen leitmotifs should've recurred more regularly and in emotionally significant points in the game - even melve by itself and not anywhere else until the end would've been a good opportunity to use the verse motif because it's at the start of the game to hook the player + let them be able to connect it to the main theme, and it also lines up with the end credit's verse's lyrics

so musically i think the dd2 soundtrack is fine. catchy enough and imo memorable that it's an earworm. though i miss the rock/jazz/flamenco elements from the first game, the theme of dd2 as being very high fantasy instead of classic medieval low makes the folk/orchestra/occasional dungeon synth hybrid an appropriate choice to me, and this proves itself as a strength imo in its ambience. the lowkey ethereal dungeon synth of seafloor shrine and ancient battleground soundtracks + post-game ambience is atmospherically amazing. on top of that, i think its identity this time around lies more strongly in the folk instruments style for both vermundian/battahli ambience/combat music, which establishes the high fantasy folk vibe strongly.

unfortunately, the title theme does not reflect this at all LOL being a purely orchestral arrangement only - no folk instruments. into free was weirdly jpop but at least the rock elements did have some place in the soundtrack. as a COHESIVE soundtrack, it sounds very confused with its direction and that in itself is understandably more than enough to fundamentally turn off fans despite the positives. ultimately i think its musical identity would be stronger if the main title theme was changed tbh 😐 (and it did later, but by then it's too late + it only matches post-game vibes not the other 90% of the game). there's a thematic disconnect (conflicting theme/leitmotif until the end credits) as well as stylistic one (in-game folk music vs classic orchestra) which skews expectations of the rest of the soundtrack

additionally, i think due to the wack difficulty scaling - somehow worse than dd1 RIP, the side effect is that we end up hearing the low intensity soundtracks for most of the game and further ng+'s which of course are meant to sound less complex in comparison, which further perpetuates the weak soundtrack perception

[spiltstrawberrymilk]

Two (Sleep token EP) ft my shitty takes

Hi, I listen to this album too much and idfk i need my thoughts to be KNOWN. Do i need tw?? maybe uhh tw// murder, cannibalism, cults, and ritual shit

Calcutta:  Cool yippie! Opening track, to be honest not my fav. However it sets up what I think is the story for this whole goddamn album. To me Vessel is singing about his obsession. Someone (a lady friend) who he has a deep connection with (at least in his mind they do) “I sweat and I ache for Your eyes and the way you breathe. And I wake, saying your name.” He sounds like he's talking about going through withdrawals from her. As if even the simple task of sleeping drives him insane because he's not with her. “Time lived again for just a moment. Missing pieces find me, And I'm whole again” I think this just means he's living for the memory of her because she's gone. Maybe because he killed her (you'll see why that's an option later) or because she left. Who knows, I'm not a British man. ANYWAYS MOVING ON TO THE BEST SONG

Nazareth: “And I'll see you when the wrath comes Knocking on your bedroom door with money” As an opening line im screaming its so fucking good. I have nothing to add other than that uhm. “Dripping from the open mouth, I'll show you. What you look like, from the inside'' sounds to me like he's going to eat her. (Spoilers he does.) Since this band's theme is around that of a cult it's not too far off to think that maybe this was a ritual of some sort. Some way to rid himself of his obsession that was seemingly consuming his every waking moment. “Let's load the gun. Make her eat the tape in the bathroom mirror. See if she can guess what A hollow point does to a naked body. Let's fuck her up. Manifest pain at the core of pleasure.”  this whole line is on repeat in my mind 24/7, so good. It also just further goes to prove my idea she was in fact murdered in some sort of ritualistic matter. Gotta love cults /j. If you don't know a hollow point is meant to be lethal. These bullets create giant holes and have more fragments then other types would. Think of a shotgun bullet but inside your body (gross i know). As the song ends ,going into the instrumental portion, we get this repeated line of “Oh, let's load the gun (I won't be missing you)” Saying that he will no longer miss her and he is getting ready to shoot. Ugh it gives me chills.

Jericho: Last but not least Jericho. As an ending track it's so good at wrapping up this EP. This is just the wrap up of the ritual. It's the ending, all the feelings and finally the cleansing of Vessel. We open with “Tread, ancient water salt, Like I, Sink, down like precious stones' ' I don't think i need to explain he's just bathing himself in water, referring to himself as an expensive and valued item, maybe because he is the profit of sleep.  Moving on we get to the most important part that I think confirms everything I'm thinking about is the repeated lines of “You taste like new flesh” he deff at this girl as part of the ritual. Maybe he was proving himself worthy to be a sleeping vessel (get it his name's vessel and.. Ok i'll move on) “There's something in the way you lay. Enough to make the dead switch graves. You take your leave”  reference to how she's laying, still looking beautiful even though she’s dead. Her leave being her going into the afterlife. He can't help but admire her even though she's no longer there. “My hands are not worthy (until I wake up, dine on old encounters)” ah the end. I think this is him fully realizing that she's dead. She is now gone from the earthly plane of existence. Now he is going to sleep to meet the god.. Sleep. He is going to “dine on old encounters” remembering their times together and the love he felt for her. 

hope you enjoyed, if you made it this far im always happy to discuss sleep token 

[greatsealed]

have you played fes or portable? it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on how they differ from reload to you!

oh i grew up playing FES & p3p!!!! i would love to go off

i won't lie, persona 3 is an extremely nostalgic and comforting game for me, so i was honestly terrified about a lot of p3r's changes. i remember reading articles months before the game came out about how all of the voice actors for SEES were new and how all of the tracks were gonna be remixed and i was legitimately terrified. i grew up with the original cast and got so attached to them/their careers that i looked up other media that they were in. to this day they are voice actors i can recognize and name right away!

the original soundtrack for p3 is so iconic too and i thought it'd lose its charm when it got remixed, but boy, was i wrong. the new battle theme (it's going down now), the lyrical changes to burn my dread - last battle, even the exam music and changing seasons. UGH, changing seasons has to be my absolute favorite of all of them... adding lyrics to the most catchy part is the best thing they could have done.

i will say (and this might be nostalgia talking), i am still really sad that yumi kawamura got replaced as the singer for nearly every song. i think the main songs that mess with me are the ones where her iconic vocals are replaced ("deep mentality" Specifically doesn't sound right with the new vocals imo), but on the whole, i like a ton of the new songs and the remixes.

onto things that aren't surface-level changes, lmao-

i absolutely adore the screentime they added for strega. they played a part in persona 3, but they were always in the background. chidori got 90% of the screentime. seeing takaya have a crisis over his feelings for the protag & jin being super codependent with takaya was SO good. hearing more about their reasoning and their backstory being more fleshed out ugh;;; the bit with the prototype evoker fucked me up especially. and seeing takaya eventually resort to using an evoker in his boss fight? HURTS

(aigis vc) RYOJI RYOJI RYOJI, DEATH DEATH DEATH. the original game (while playing as the male protagonist, at least) did not focus on the relationship between him and the protag, like...at all. which is so funny because they made it a highlight in the manga AND the movie! i've always loved ryoji to bits, but i've also had to rely a lot on the femc's route and the movie to think about how they could have bonded in the original :( thank god reload gave my boy more content because he NEEDED it. ryoji's connection to the protagonist should really be emphasized in every piece of media, and they FINALLY did it. also just about every day before i reached november, i would rant to my husband about how "there needs to be more ryoji/protag content. it doesn't HAVE to be on the level of "i'd love you even if you were a boy" but i need SOMETHING." and then atlus smacked me with "i want to be something more" and i LOST IT. THEY DID THE THING. atlus embracing the romantic tension between them MY BELOVED. (in case it isn't obvious, ryomina is my favorite ship)

SHINJIRO. the first time i played persona 3, i really didn't care for him (i've never liked characters who are stand-offish and constantly push people away without apparent reason). it was only after i realized the greater backstory that i learned to appreciate and sympathize with his character, and imo, one of p3r's greatest additions was the ability to interact with shinjiro and ken before shit goes down. shinjiro's plotline where you try to convince him to go back to school is devastating, especially when (spoilers) you find a re-enrollment form filled out in his room. absolutely fucking HEARTBREAKING. i already cried during his death (way more than i did in the original game, which is kinda crazy), but damn, they got tears out of me AGAIN with that one. i also noticed that there's a lot more foreshadowing and it is SO effective. i already went off about this on my shinjiro blog, but damn, they fucking nailed it with him.

FRIENDSHIP ROUTES!!! i can't tell you how frustrating it was trying to balance social links between all of the girls. it made me lean more into focusing on yukari (best girl) and nobody else lmao. one of the points of persona 3 was that social links were near-impossible to complete, and they really realized that goal with the girls imo. however!! getting to see the protagonist opt for friendships is really sweet. i love seeing a good rejection where neither party holds a grudge or feels humiliated. it's a really nice touch, especially because i've always wanted to see how friendships would pan out between the mc and the Gorls.

general quality of life changes & the addition of theurgy. i love that theurgy had more depth to it than just a "super move;" looking at the personality conditions is so nice and adds more to the characters than they already had. seeing that shinjiro's resolve deepens when his hp is less than half made me so :'))))

those are big things i love about p3r's changes. aside from the protag not being able to change weapons (my favorite part of original p3), i think the biggest complaint i have is that they left out the answer (p3p has been ported to modern consoles, so you can still experience the femc's route, but the answer is ONLY on ps2 to this day), and even then, i've read that they're planning to add it as dlc.

i've said this before and i'll say it again: i know people have gripes with the answer, but i absolutely adore it. it's the most realistic portrayal of grief among the dorm, which hits differently for EVERYONE. every single change to their personalities makes sense, especially taking their reliance on the protagonist into account. it's made so much more obvious in p3r (which i love), but everyone cares deeply about the protagonist. losing him is a devastating blow. and then aigis gaining his power? yukari is SO justified for being distraught and jealous. that's the realest shit i've ever seen.

also the fights between them because they can't decide whether to go to the past or look to the future...the entirety of the answer is heartbreaking because it hits so hard. yukari, who (aside from aigis) was hit the hardest by losing the protag, obviously wants to go to the past, back to a time when he was alive. the others either want to compromise or move on. the answer is about accepting life's hardships and finding a way to move on and that's beautiful. it's always hit so hard for me.

that's not even delving into metis and aigis UGH... i could go off about the answer forever.

as for p3p-

i played p3p nearly every day when i was in middle / high school. i'd bring my psp to school and play it religiously. i still remember blasting "heartful cry" on my ipod and playing p3p on the bus, lmao.

it's not my favorite iteration of persona 3 now (p3p was good for travel + when i was in school and needed something to get me through the day), but i do have a soft spot for how much effort was put into the femc's route. i will say that i'm not as devastated as a good chunk of the fandom that the femc isn't in p3r or even p3d, but i do love her character and i hope she's also eventually added as dlc (if they're gonna add the answer, then why not add femc again?). i'm really glad she was included in pq2 though, ESPECIALLY because there were so many validating twin moments between her and the male protagonist :')))

i will say, as a final note, that p3r REALLY nailed the feeling of original p3, but i think it made me way more emotional with how it was executed. i've PLAYED the game a million times! i knew every plot detail, i knew exactly how the game would play out (aside from the new additions), and i STILL sobbed several times by the end of the game. i've said this to my husband, but p3r was so well-executed that i felt like i was playing the original game for the first time!! and as someone who has experienced the game MANY times, that's such an incredible feat. i adore the remake. i'm so glad that none of my initial fears were warranted.

for once: thank you, atlus.

[sepyana]

Jjba Stone Ocean Ep 13-22 Thoughts

50% Crying about F.F. %40 Sports Maxx arc %10 Making fun of Anasui. Also Pucci is there.

Ep 13-14

A lot happening this arc. I don't really know where to start. Let's talk Ermes first.

Turns out, Ermes ended up in prison to get revenge on her older sister's killer, who is getting out of prison in a year. Araki says Ermes's position in the story is like Polnareff's (in the stand commentaries iirc) though their arcs are handled very differently.

The most important one is that Ermes's revenge is framed as a good thing. Polnareff got Avdol "killed" in his pursuit. Much like Ermes, he didn't care what would happen to himself as long as he got his revenge. Kakyoin says Polnareff shouldn't go sacrifice himself. They both lack self preservation. They both run on their own and refuse to get help from others. Ermes straight up ran in for the kill and got severely injured for it.

What I'm trying to say is Ermes's revenge is framed as good (mostly) while Polnareff's is framed as bad. Her sister comes from the heaves to hug her when she kills Sports Maxx. She does it alone at the end too. If her arc was a counter-argument to part 3's in some way it would be one thing but it doesn't do that at all. If Polnareff's arc never happened I wouldn't have cared about the message of this arc but It's so hard to ignore it when part 6 is basically the direct sequel to part 3. It's looks like Ermes just got lucky that no one got gravely hurt or kicked the bucket.

I don't wanna be mean. Pol is one of my favourites and I already like Ermes a lot. I don't wanna make it sound like Pol's arc is great either. It has it's own issues.

There is still a lot of stuff I liked though. I liked the visuals and the music of this arc especially. The shot of Ermes landing the killing blow along with the music is obviously amazing, it's over the top but I adore that. The music playing is Dio's world iirc. It plays at the finale of both part 3 and part 4 when the main casts face off against the villain. It plays here because Sports Maxx is Ermes's main villain. I don't think Sports Maxx is cool enough to deserve this theme but I like the effect regardless. I appreciate it when music from part 3 plays every now and then.

This might just be me being an F.F. fanboy but I really liked the part when they shot the alligator straight in the mouth. Determination is one of my favourite tracks from part 6. I might like it a bit more than the main theme.

So she can use her strings to sense movement in the area around her. Ok. Okay.

(This bit is from later episodes but it fits better here)Talking to Sports Maxx, Pucci says "There is a fixed amount of souls in the universe". And then he talks about how if someone had thousands of souls at once. Now I know that this is referring to the green baby, I initially thought this was because there weren't enough souls. Since the number is is fixed souls would get divided in the afterlife maybe. It's sort of interesting to think about. If there are too many souls do they get destroyed? Or jjba has already reached the limit and souls are getting reincarnated. Reused, if you will.

Pucci does care about Dio but I do think their relationship was more transactional than he would like to admit. It's not as bad as Dio but Pucci does treat everyone around him like tools, and cannot trust others enough to connect with them. The concept of heaven is too vague for me to comment on it right now, though I do think it is not as different from Christian kind as you might think at first.

Ep 15-16

Anasui is a character that exists. I saw him way before I got into jjba. I liked his design back then and he still has one of my favourite designs now. I remember seeing a post saying "How can such a naked character have this many articles of clothing" and I think about it every day.

Personality wise... I'm sorry but he is just so fucking boring. He is a murdered that likes disassembling things and he loves Jolyne. That's it that's the whole thing. His specific obsession with "marrying" her could be interesting potentially. Then you could ask "Why does he care about marrying Jolyne so much? What is his view of marriage to begin with? Any personal history about that? Maybe his worldview might relate to it. etc. etc.

Another interesting thing is why he is with Weather and Emporio in the first place. Emporio says Weather is the only person who keeps him in check. I am interested in seeing them interact now.

It's a shame they changed Anasui's gender early on. I love problematic lesbians, if my adoration for Shiori and Homura means anything.

The survivor fight could have been shorter. That's all I'm gonna say I thought it was kinda boring tbh. Other than Jolyne flipping off the guard 4 different ways.

Ep 17-18

F.F. my best friend F.F.

I don't really have much to say about episodes 16 to 20 as it's mostly fighting. I think Dragon's Dream is a cool concept and it was executed pretty well. What can you do against an enemy when fate has their back? This arc also has the issue of being too long I think. Some of the bits drag on for too long.

Jolyne tunning to save F.F. despite all her injuries... My heart... I love them..

Ep 19-20

Jotaro not letting anyone take off his hat while in a coma, with no memories and half a soul. Jjba is pretty funny when it wants to be.

Jotaro injuring himself and it just happens to spell Jolyne. And the same cuts show up on Jolyne too. I get some families in jjba have psychic links but this is too much. My suspension of disbelief can only go so far. I can excuse the Dio bone plot but I draw the line at this.

Anasui actually tells F.F. to push Jolyne so he can hug her with zero shame. F.F. rightfully calls this sexual harassment. How does plankton who entered society like a few weeks ago has better morals than him. Get your shit together Anasui.

People loathe Yo Yo Ma. I don't think it is as bad as some say. Don't get me wrong though, it is bad. It's main problem is that it's really fucking boring. I shit you not I almost fell asleep while watching this which is absolutely huge for someone like me who takes an hour to fall asleep. It's not the worst part of jojo but it is up there.

Ep 21-22

Well after the pretty boring stretch we got the last few episodes we get this gem -> completely ignoring the green baby thing

Wow so much to talk about that Dio and Pucci interaction huh. I was initally iffy on what Dio's character was going but I'm loving it.

Do you remember Dio's whole peace of mind way back in part 3? I mentioned it while talking about Kira but I never thought it would be relevant again. Arakkiiiiii please more of this.

So firstly, this pretty much confirms peace of mind is what Dio seeks despite talking about humans. Dio from birth had absolutely zero time to chill, he couldn't trust anyone, he couldn't depend on anyone. Pucci is the person he is closest to but even then he cannot fully trust him.

This is just speculation from my part but maybe that's what heaven is? That serenity, the ease. For someone like Dio who has made so many fucking enemies by this point that peace of mind is not really possible for him outside of reaching heaven. Much to think about.

Also Leonardo Da Vinci is a stand user. This is the jjba equivalent of Joan of Arc being a magical girl in pmmm to me. Why would you tell me this.

Araki can't play with my heart like this. I thought F.F. might make it for a second.

F.F. started to have flashbacks and all I could think was "It's so over". The fight with White Snake was incredibly tense. Having a stand disc like that on hand was a good idea from Pucci.

The moment when Weather caused rain to help F.F. was so hype. It's a good comeback. I always love seeing White Snake suffer. He is annoying as shit.

Jolyne hugging "Weather" was really wholesome despite what we learn later. Despite what Anasui thinks I don't think there is gonna be a romance between the two. More like a positive male figure in her life (Which she seems to lack).

Then here is my least favourite insulting my fave and you already know what I'm gonna say. It would be one thing if Anasui talked shit about F.F. after Ep 22. But Anasui just keeps going on about how they don't deserve to live and that they are lesser because they aren't human and dude. F.F. hasn't even done anything. They only told you to stop being a immature baby about Jolyne hugging a guy when they've got Pale Snake to deal with, rightly so. I'm not even mad I just have no idea why he is reacting like this. All this shit talk over nothing and F.F. still decides to save Anasui instead of themselves.

I didn't see the reveal coming at all. It's was as much of a surprise to me as the characters because 1. I am dumb 2. I don't think Pale Snake has shape shifted up to this point.

Pucci's remarks about how much Jolyne has grown is definitely true. I thought she was just as immature as the other protags despite being older than most of em but that's definitely not the case anymore. My girl ate the musrooms growing on her bedframe in prison. Just to get a chance at saving her father. She has definitely grown... Stone Free grew with her too.

F.F. is not the most unique character. There are so many media that has handled "someone with a newly acquired consciousness learning what it means to be alive" trope way better. But I still found it heartwarming. They are just happy to be there and I appreciate that. They have memories and people dear to them. F.F. didn't have a life before meeting Jolyne. Living a life gave them a reason to sacrifice it for their loved ones. They have a soul now and here come the tears again

Love getting emotional about jjba because I will look at what I am actually crying at and it's the goofiest most nonsensical shit ever and I instantly stop

One thing that's weird is why F.F. without a body looks like Atroe instead of their normal design. Their soul too. I know why they did it and it was the better choice probably. To us Atroe look is F.F. Plus it's easier to make it emote than the Foo Fighters form.

[thegunlady]

Movies I watched in 2022

I kept track of this last year and it was fun, so I'm doing it again! I realize literally no one asked, but here is an extremely long and pointless rundown of every movie I watched this year. Complete with commentary and IMDB links. For posterity or whatever.

As before, I counted movies I'd already seen, but I didn't double up on movies I watched more than once in 2022 - which happened a fair amount as I am a serial re-watcher and comfort-movie-haver. I also didn't include a handful of movies that I put on as background noise while doing other things and didn't truly Watch.

January:

1. Zombieland (2009) - Okay the CGI is pretty freaking bad. But it's still a funny and cleverly-executed take on a zombie movie that holds up pretty well 13 years later.

2. Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) - This is pretty much exactly what you want from a sequel - more of the same with the whole main cast returning, but taken a little bit further with lots of callbacks. It was perfectly fun, but just a little too silly for me I think.

3. Brazen (2022) - Imagine my surprise when I played some new Netflix crime thriller on a whim only to discover that it's based on a romance novel from the '80s that I've actually read! I didn't even make the connection until the opening credits, despite the title and the trailer. Anyway, this movie was...almost good? Like the pieces were there, but it came off pretty much daytime soap.

4. Collide (2016) - This is another case of a movie thinking it was gonna be much cooler than it was—as evidenced by the all-star cast despite some pretty shaky writing—but tbh it was still pretty cool? I love a car movie, and I love a heist movie, and I love an action adventure that centers on a love story (although I dock points for fridging).

5. Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) - Guess who just saw this for the first time? It was me! But clearly this movie is charming at any age. It's the very definition of sweet and lovely, and the animation style is so beautiful (of course). Also Jiji is everything!!!

6. Mission: Impossible (1996) - I LOVE these movies. I'd forgotten that the first movie is really more of a classic cold war spy thriller, with a lot of intrigue and heisting and not so much action. Which I think is so smart and so much more compelling. I had a blast.

7. Mission: Impossible II (2000) - I know this movie has always been lauded as the terrible, outlier Mission Impossible movie that no one likes—and I agree that it's a hard deviation from the rest in terms of style and it IS objectively the worst of the bunch—but I really enjoyed it. More than I remembered. It has some glaring issues, but sometimes you just want to watch Tom Cruise driving a motorcycle through fire in slow motion from 3 camera angles, or doing the same backflip kick move 7 times, also in slow motion, and that's VALID.

8. Mission: Impossible III (2006) - Are you sensing a theme here? I think this might be my favorite M:I movie. It's really stylish and slick without being too over the top, and I LOVE a macguffin as the story engine of an adventure film! It keeps things simple and leaves room for more character stuff—which this movie does a pretty decent job of. Also talk about your great villains.

February:

9. Nightmare Alley (1947) - Spooky and atmospheric and compelling and fun! What is it about vintage carnivals? It's just THE vibe. Curious to see how the new adaptation holds up.

10. Nightmare Alley (2021) - Naturally, GDT's version of this movie is a spectacular visual treat, and leans in to the Fucked Up Magical Realism of it all in a way that really works for the story. But this version is WAY too long and monologue-y, with more added detail than truly necessary. It also leapfrogs over the 'fun and games' bit of screenwriting structure that really made the first movie sing, imho. It's a cool film, but I enjoyed watching the original a lot more.

11. Book of Love (2022) - This shit was so cute! Also, in a scathing indictment of modern cinema, I was shocked to discover that this isn't even an adaptation of anything! It was a clever and lovely and original romance that gets bonus points for being fairly bilingual - not entirely, but they actually do a good job of having characters who are native Spanish speakers actually speak Spanish with subtitles when talking to each other. I wish it had a little more of an epilogue though. Which I could say about so many stories, but especially romcoms. I'm going to become a youtuber JUST so I can make a video essay about the importance of showing the status quo change at the end of a story!!!

12. The Hating Game (2021) - I realize I'm completely biased by my preexisting affinity for the novel, but this movie is so much fun!! And, as I've said before, a really faithful adaptation! It's extremely silly and has a few writing issues, especially in the second half, but I don't care I love it.

13. Plus One (2019) - I LOVED this movie when it came out but I only saw it the once so I was curious to see if I'd still love it a whole pandemic later—and I do! It's fun and banter-y and, imho, a good example of a comedy that is about people who are actually funny, like, as part of their personality. Rather than essentially blank people who "funny" things happen to, like so many romcoms.

14. A Long Way Down (2014) - Aww, this movie was lovely! It's not a super original concept but a good one, and executed well. A stellar cast and just a great...well, not quite found family story, but it has similar beats and I like that it's about something slightly more than that. Also Aaron Paul and Imogen Poots should play love interests in all the movies. This is the second one I've seen and they're so cute.

15. Austenland (2013) - The perfect, confectionary Valentine's Day treat! Not that there's ever a bad time to watch this absolute GEM. It's bonkers and adorable and so much fun.

16. I Want You Back (2022) - Nothing earth-shattering but I think the characterization of the two mains was actually kind of poignant and nuanced. Also Jenny Slate is hilarious always. Why am I watching so many romantic comedies? Is it because it's Valentine's month and that's where my brain and also the Algorithm™ are pointing? Super probably. Anyway.

March:

17. West Side Story (2021) - I'm honestly not sure we really needed another adaptation of this. And this one was extremely long. But I always love a musical, it has to be said, and this one was no exception. I really love the look of it - how they made it look like kind of a cross between an actual stage play, and those detailed, built facades that were movie sets back when the original movie came out. I also love how they lit and composed every scene between Tony and Maria to make it look dreamy and incredible and highlight how they were in their own little world, and then dropped the dreamy lighting and framing as soon as their moment was over.

18. Star Trek (2009) - I just listened to the episode of Beyond the Screenplay about this movie and I was intrigued by so much of their conversation on how it ties into and diverts from the original series. It was fun to watch this movie through that lens. Also just so many charming performances.

19. Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) - I mean I watched one, so it only made sense to watch the next. It was almost equally fun! Although I was not inspired to watch the third movie, so.

20. Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) - Geez Louise this movie hit me unexpectedly. I was anticipating multiverse spider-man(s) hi-jinx which I DID get and it was SO GOOD, but there was less than I'd hoped, and this movie is ultimately pretty fucking bleak. It's clearly designed to set up Multiverse of Madness so I guess they can undo or redo anything they want, but oof. I am straight-up Bummed Out™.

April:

21. All The Old Knives (2022) - This movie did it perfectly fine, but I'm not the biggest fan of stories that keep flashing between the past and present. It's impressive writing and it definitely can be really cool to use it for a reveal that totally changes the meaning of something you've already seen, but, imho, when you use it as the whole story engine it A. kills the forward momentum of the action and B. robs the emotional significance out from under everything because you're just constantly seeing heavy subtext you couldn't possibly parse, and then seeing even more before the first pays off. I find it a little frustrating and boring (see: Arrow). But this movie was still cool.

22. The Batman (2022) - Okay this movie is almost 3 full hours and it took me 2 tries and then 4 sittings to watch it which I'm sure was not the intended or preferred moviegoing experience™ but I simply could not get through it any other way, my friends. Also this movie was so (literally) dark I have no idea what was going on in half the scenes. And a lot of the dialogue was just SO on the nose I mean it was fine but can we have just a little bit more subtext people, please. HOWEVER it was still pretty dope. I like that it wasn't bonkers action-y and was a little more noir/hard-boiled detective vibes. And I love this new turn of weird, soggy sewer rat Batman.

May:

23. Firestarter (2022) - This was my first theater movie since 2019! There were only 2 other people in the theater, because it turns out this movie has 12% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I did not realize when I purchased my ticket. Having seen it, this does not surprise me. It's pretty bad. BUT I like Zac Efron, I like an angry young girl with powers, and I'm glad for a return to weird little 90-minute movies.

24. 2:22 (2017) - Big fan of the cerebral romantic drama with a sci-fi twist! I think the premise is amazing and the performances are good and I loved it's whole style and vibe, but I'm not sure all the mechanics fit together as well as they maybe could have. I still really liked it though.

25. Contact (1997) - The peak of alien sci-fi cinema in my book. This movie rules so hard. I love the '90s character archetype of brazen adventure-science woman. (See also: Helen Hunt in Twister, and Laura Dern in Jurassic Park). And I love a flat change arc with huge themes.

June:

26. Jonathan (2018) - This movie has a legitimately fun premise and the first half was cool but the second half just kinda fizzled and rolled to a vague stop without doing anything to tie up the themes or pay off the details that it set up. Pass.

27. Need for Speed (2014) - I love this movie so much. I've literally seen it 20 times. I just like a car movie! I don't give a shit about cars IRL but car/racing movies just have a distinctive style and set of tropes associated with them that is so fun to me. And this one in particular has a great premise and cool locations a fantastic cast that was clearly having an amazing time and I love it so much. Also my power is out so I don't have internet and this is the only thing I had downloaded.

July:

27. The Princess (2022) - Okay, so I love the concept of a reverse rescue-the-princess story where instead of a prince fighting his way up the tower to get to the princess, the princess wakes up locked in the tower and must fight her way down. I just wish this movie did a little more with it? Like they sorta tried to break the movie into 'levels' of the tower, but if they leaned into that way more it would have been awesome. The action stuff was kinda cool and I actually like that they were a little silly and anachronistic with it, but it just didn't hang together for me. The tone was inconsistent, the pacing was weird, and the movie did basically zero character work. And I'm bummed out because I feel like there could be a version of this movie that's SO fun and memorable—a la A Knight's Tale or something— but this isn't it.

28. Last Night in SoHo (2021) - Yoooo I loved this movie. I mean I am firmly an Edgar Wright fan, so I guess I'm biased, but it was so cool. We love a neon-soaked movie. We love '60s music. We love time travel—or something like it. All vibes. I didn't really love how the third act wrapped up - it sorta took a hard turn - and also we really should have seen Sam Clafin's character at least one more time than we did for everything to work. But I forgive it.

29. A Nice Girl Like You (2020) - For me personally, this was a movie with a premise/tone that I didn't find particularly fun or interesting but was saved by really solid performances and pretty flawless screenwriting structure. It was a little dated, raunchy, and cringy for my own tastes, but it hit every beat right on the head with a cast that seemed to have chemistry and have fun and I respect that. Also not for nothing but I think I might have a full-on crush on Lucy Hale.

30. Monsters (2010) - I was in college when this movie came out and I remember my roommate at the time being obsessed with it and making me watch it, but I haven't seen or thought about it again until it popped up on HBO Max today. It's a 90-minute indie monster movie that's high-tension but low-action, open-ended, and really only about two people, which is exactly the kind of story stuff I'm all about. Great work everyone.

31. Kimi (2022) - Ohh another unique, 90-minute, blessedly simple, and character-driven thriller! Let's keep it up, team. I really enjoyed this one—and oof the stuff the heroine is going through at the start of the movie is Big Relatable in this COVID world of ours.

32. The Map of Tiny Perfect Things (2021) - Bro, I'm on a roll with my last few movies. This one was extremely delightful! Y'all know how much I love a time travel/time loop movie and this one was so sweet. Also the dude in this movie (*checks notes* Kyle Allen) is going be a star he's so good.

33. Above the Shadows (2019) - This is one of those slightly frustrating movies that - imho - has a great premise and great cast and could have been AMAZING, but had a couple writing issues that made it just okay. But I still enjoyed it!

34. Jurassic Park (1993) - I mean, a legendary, ultimate classic. What more is there to say? We need more 'monster' movies that are simple and cool with a degree of whimsy and awe. The '90s were great at this, let's bring it back! Also I'm about to rewatch all the JP movies in preparation for Dominion so buckle up.

35. The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) - This one is markedly less whimsical than the first, with much more violence and much more annoying villains. But the cute chemistry and easy affection between Jeff Goldblum and his daughter and Julianne Moore is delightful. Also I do appreciate the turn of the dinosaurs being completely innocent and the greedy humans being even more cartoonishly evil.

36. Jurassic Park III (2001) - This movie is actually great?? I love that it's a bit more of a return to form, with Alan and Ellie of course, but also just with general fun. The horror-esque reveal of the pterodactyl and the ringing phone signaling the proximity of the t-rex are both EXCELLENT.

37. Purple Hearts (2022) - I took a break from the dinos to watch a ridiculously sappy and overwrought romance because I can't resist them. HOWEVER. This one was fucking awful. (And I am not that picky re: this genre.) The pacing and tone was all over the place, the writing was sloppy, and also it's some major military propaganda and the characters go through basically no change!!! Oof. OOF!!!

38. Jurassic World (2015) - Okay we're back and oh my god I forgot that this movie kinda fucking slaps?? It's honestly the perfect way to continue a franchise, and I love the shift of the original film being about the hubris of how, in this dawning technological age, we're doing every awesome science thing we can think of because we can, and who cares about the consequences. To this one being about KNOWING what a terrible idea it is but doing it anyway and doing it MORE because of corporate greed (although the parallels there to rebooting a cash cow film series are not lost on me). But even so, this movie is bright and fun and cool and the story is blessedly simple and I really love it.

39. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) - I like this movie a lot, but it occurs to me that the two JP movies that actually take place in a working park are by far the most fun. The visual trappings of a theme park and something so happy turning so awful is really compelling. And so are the built-in boundaries of being confined inside the park over the course of one day. Really only the original film and the first Jurassic World have that. For the rest, the world is already in chaos and there are essentially no boundaries or much ticking clock at all - which is fine, but there's just something less urgent and Too Big about it for me, personally.

40. Jurassic World Dominion (2022) - Weirdly, this movie might have a few TOO many dinosaurs? I feel like the past movies revealed dinosaurs at key moments but in this one I'm pretty sure there's literally never someone not getting attacked by a dinosaur (or a giant bug 😟!!!) But also I loved it! I loved getting the whole gang(s) back together, and the updated feathered dinos! And the baby dinos!

41. The Gray Man (2022) - I wanted this movie to be better? It was cool overall, and there was some stuff I really liked, but it was SUPER long and big stretches were kinda boring and I personally felt like it spent too much time on all the wrong character dynamics. Poor Ana de Armas got basically zero motivation or plot work at all. We learn nothing about her and you could almost literally just edit her out of this movie and absolutely nothing changes. A bummer.

August:

42. Encanto (2021) - Guess who cried twice during this movie? It was me. I'm so glad I finally watched this it was so beautiful in every way. My heart is full. Also shoutout to the CinemaWins video about this movie for making me pause that video and watch it immediately.

43. The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) - Oh look it's me, crying at the second movie in one night (I've been kinda going through it the past few weeks I think I was subconsciously seeking catharsis via tearjerkers). Anyway, time travel and epic romance are my two most favorite things in fiction so it's no wonder to anyone that I adore this movie.

44. Uncharted (2022) - Listen I'm just generally down for a bog-standard swashbuckling, map-poring, treasure-seeking adventure movie. This one isn't really anything special but I was passably charmed and if they make more, I'll watch 'em.

45. Persuasion (1995) - I've actually never read Persuasion nor experienced any adaptation of it until now. I loved it! And, to my own surprise since I often rant about these things, I love that this movie doesn't really spend time explaining Anne and Wentworth's specific history. I don't know if/how much the novel does either, but it's kind of remarkable how much it doesn't really matter. I also love that it appears to be shot entirely on location with barely any lighting setups, color grading, or even much time spent on hair and makeup.

46. The Lost City (2022) - Hee! As a great lover of both romance novels and cheesy adventure movies, this combination of the two was - maybe a TOUCH slapstickier than I would have liked - but overall EXTREMELY delightful. More weird and silly hijinx movies!!! please!!

47. Inside the Mind of a Cat (2022) - I guess this is more of an hour-long Netflix special than a real movie and it also seems like a good dose of pseudoscience to me, but I literally don't care! It was 60 minutes of cute kitties!

September:

48. Love in the Villa (2022) - This is an objectively bad movie held together entirely by Kat Graham and Tom Hopper being great scene partners and excellent comedic actors. I can't quite say I hated it, but it's also. Not good. At all.

October:

49. Black Widow (2021) - Finally got around to watching this! Tbh this movie was like a decade overdue and not really worth the wait to me, personally, but it was still fun! I love weird family hi-jinx!

50. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - Once again, I'm kinda burned out on Marvel movies and also this was a late-night watch after a long day of hiking, drinking, and general carousing during a family vacation, thus I was nodding off for some of it. But I liked it! It was more unique than most Marvel movies of recent memory.

51. Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) - Not to bring this up AGAIN, but I am a longtime lover of ridiculous romance novels. As such, I am used to their General Nonsense and legitimately enjoy this movie (and the other two) for exactly what they are. Which is ridiculous. I make no excuses for the weird and the problematic, I just think wildly over-the-top romance is the best. Also, this first movie really did try to do something interesting with the story before the franchise was throttled by EL James. (I highly recommend Dan Olsen's video essay about this).

52. Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - Like I said, I just kinda like these movies. I'm not proud of it. And even though the first is by far the best objectively, I think this one is my favorite? Just for silly aesthetic and trope-y reasons.

53. The Choice (2016) - I loved this movie!!! I'm a sucker for all the Nicholas Sparks movies I have to admit (you're shocked), but this one might be my favorite yet?? Excellent use of my favorite tropes re: silly and banter-y couples, and agonizing romantic beats.

54. The Host (2013) - I feel like this movie was generally panned as more YA nonsense given its source material, and then instantly forgotten about, but I actually love it! I think it's really beautiful aesthetically and the score is amazing and william hurt is weirdly SO good in his role and it's romantic and dramatic and I've seen it a bunch of times.

55. Free Guy (2021) - This movie is so silly, but it's also reasonably heartfelt and creative and I just think it's fun.

56. Avatar (2009) - The movie, the myth, the legend. With the sequel allegedly coming out, I was curious to revisit the original. The actual storyline is whatever (slash slightly problematic) but the premise is really cool and the effects are amazing.

57. The Age of Adaline (2015) - Me? Watching sweeping romantic dramas and things related to time travel? Groundbreaking. But anyway I enjoyed this movie. I kinda wanted them to do a little more with the concept, but overall it was lovely. Also whoever that guy is who played young Harrison Ford deserved to be in more than 2 scenes he fucking crushed it.

58-61. The Hunger Games Series (2012-2015) - I LOVED these books and I remember being a little disappointed by the movies at the time, but having just watched them all again y'know what? They're pretty good. And they hold up.

62. Happy Death Day (2017) - This was my Halloween movie choice! Again! I truly never get sick of it. It's more funny and clever than actually scary, but still leans on some spookiness and it's a delight. Carter and Tree are so cute which really sells the whole thing. Also you guys know how much I love a time loop. This move is kind of the gen Z answer to Scream and they nailed it.

November:

63. Dracula Untold (2014) - Okay honestly I just threw this on at random for something to watch while I organized my books into my new IKEA media stand, expecting it to be one of those nigh-unwatchable (to me) desaturated cyan fantasy/monster movies with endless meaningless exposition and monologues interrupted by boring and also endless sword fights...and it kinda was, except much better than most! I felt like it was a fun take on an overdone story and surprisingly character-driven. I won't say it's a great movie, but I didn't mind it.

December:

64. Rosaline (2022) - I loved it! I personally am a huge fan of the period-piece-but-not-really trend that's popular right now, where something takes place in the past and uses it as set dressing, but uses modern language and pop songs, etc. This movie was also even funnier than I expected—although I can't quite account for why some characters are American and some are British? Even from the same family? Did they just cast whoever and not care? Because that's actually great.

65. The Broken Hearts Gallery (2020) - I adore this movie. It's such a sweet concept, and the dialogue and chemistry between all the mains is so hilarious. Specifically the dynamic between the love interests, which I find incredibly endearing.

66. Penelope (2006) - One of my all-time favorites!!! I can't even count how many times I've seen this movie it makes me so happy. The choice to make it essentially a real-world story (minus the magic curse) but with a production design that is ever-so-slightly fantasy is so much fun. Also, I don't know if Peter Dinklage has any particular pride in or fondness for this role, but I hope he does because it's fucking note-perfect. His every expression and line delivery is hysterical.

67. Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022) - Eh. It was okay. I feel like this movie thought it was much sexier and more dramatic than it was. It also set up some wider stuff about the world of the movie that it never really followed up on. What happened to the miners and the town? With Bertha? Did anyone actually get divorced? Connie and Oliver had a whole Thing with realizing how much their dynamic would change if they were a regular/real couple outside of the lives they currently knew, but did they do anything to resolve it? We just don't know.

68. Mr. Right (2015) - This is one of my most-watched movies of all time it is goofy hi-jinx and endearing romance incarnate! Featuring two of my all-time favorite movie leads!

69. Ever After (1998) - 💜😍💚😍💚 a forever fave always. (also can you tell I'm getting bored of trying to track and review every single movie? Not sure I'm going to do this list again next year).

70. Knives Out (2019) - Never gets old! I rewatched in preparation for watching the new movie and I’m curious to see how they compare bc I love this one.

71. Glass Onion (2022) - I loved it! And Janelle Monae is a dang revelation in this movie. However (spoilers) I think whodunits are more fun when there’s a clear Murder to Solve- like in the first one. This one had maybe a few too many mysteries happening at once and starting late into the movie. I still loved it though.

[rainyfestivalsweets]

Last Nights meals.

Leftover sliced chicken + spicy garlic, a portion of leftover hibachi leftovers mostly noodles, slice peppers + bleu cheese yogurt dressing.

Then I got dressed super cute (for me) and went to a Thanksgiving Eve church service. This is the first time in about 10 years that I have gone to a service. It is supposed to be gay friendly, so I went to check it out. The sermon was about stewardship and conservation. Odd that this would be the church service I would be drawn to, considering most of my reading this fall has had land and conservation themes. [Taylor Brorby Boys and Oil, highly recommend, especially for LGBTQ folx & Terry Tempest Williams "An Hour of Land." Also highly recommend for nature lovers] .

I then went with my girlfriend to Walmart to buy a TV. Hers broke a couple of weeks ago. I talked to my uncle while we were at the store. I stayed while while she set up the TV, and I had 2 sparkling waters while I was there. I didn't actually get home until almost 11 o'clock - I left shortly after 5.

When I got home, mom didn't want to eat so I basically had a snack of a Chobani flip (which was nice). I was still snacky and looking for something else to eat so I had a tub of sugar free jello.

I, of course, wanted other things but I told myself "no." It was too late to eat a bigger meal.

I woke up this morning quite a bit lighter than I have been lately! Wooooooooo!

The sad part is: Just in time for the big "day of eating."

Fuck.

I will have had 3 big meals, and that's just a little bit overwhelming. That's a lot.

That is alot considering the first meal revealed that I am a nervous Eater and which back for extras on things I didn't need because I needed to keep my hands busy.

I am so obviously in need of some connection/community and I have been trying to seek it out. I am grieving the loss of yet another lgbtq massacre. I feel too, that part of my eating problem is that I am literally home 90% of the time. Most of that time is spent alone, working. Or alone, cleaning. Mom doesn't conversate much sometimes. Can't track conversations so we don't really talk about much. She doesn't hear well and she doesn't remember well, so although she is here, sometimes loneliness can be a huge eating trigger.

I feel like just being out of the house helped me and it is non food time. So I am telling myself to do more of that.

But wait, celebrate!

245 today! Woo!

Right in time for a big eating holiday. I hate being so anxious and hating the holidays so much because of it. I hate having had dieted most of the years for holidays and missing out on all the yummy food. There were days when I was low carb that my sister's boyfriend would make me loaded bacon cheesy mashed potatoes to tempt me. I didn't break, but I think it gave me a Halo Effect when eating later. [Oh, I passed on the potatoes, so I can have this...and this].

The plan:

Make a healthy dish to take

Have a protein meal within the hour before leaving

Take some tea and/or ask them to make a pot of coffee if they don't have it on

Take nomorbidity before I leave the house

Take Gluccomannon right about when I get there.

Take a little of everything I want (science says you only really taste the first 3 bites)

Try to eat slowly. Smaller bites. Fork down between?

Ask questions, conversate.

Relax and enjoy myself. This day is not going to make or break me.

Take some holiday flavored sparkling water.

[ollieoliver910]

In Defense of The Film "Mama Mia!" Nostalgia Critic's Worst Review of All Time.

Remember when Doug reviewed Atlantis: The Lost Empire a while back and for his closing argument he said "Fuck you, I like it."

That statement applies to me when it comes to my feelings involving the 2008 film, Mama Mia! Not because the film is flawless, because it's not, but because Rob Walker on many occasions has said that Mama Mia is (and I believe still is) his second least favorite film of all time. That's..ridiculous and just plain absurd after all the films he and his brother reviewed in the past fifteen-ish years.

You're telling me that Mamma Mia is worse than many of the live action remakes? Worse than The Nutcracker that had offensive, WWII themes? Worse than Freddie Got Fingered? Worse than Bio-Dome? Worst than Battle Field Earth? WORSE THAN THE LAST AIR BENDER??? A LITERAL 1/10 FILM THAT GETS NOTHING RIGHT???

So yeah, out of all the films NC has ever reviewed, this film specifically triggers me the most because it is very clear to me that Doug and Rob did not grow up with the music. If they had, they would see the connection the songs have to the plot of the film along with the other many great things about it.

Ok, so here's my argument when it comes to Dougs criticisms of this film. I'll start with the connection of the songs and how they correspond to the films plot. I have been listening to ABBA for all my life (over twenty-ish years), so if there is an ABBA expert that can connect the dots, it's me.

"I Have A Dream" (The Opening song) - Sophie describes her dream to have her father at her wedding to feel like her life is complete. Hence the "I have a dream" song connecting with her desire to have the perfect family, even if she fails. "If you see the wonder, of a fairy tail," (Her wedding), "we can take the future, even if we fail," (the risk she's taking to find her father.)

2. "Honey Honey" (Track 2) - Has Sophie singing (and switching between) her desire to know who her father is and how Donna, Sophie's mother, felt about each of the men she dated at the time. The song "Honey Honey," as someone who has listened to all of ABBA's music is one of their most basic and, admittedly, most forgetful songs during the time the band was still active, but in this context of the film, it works. This song is written in a particular way to describe the persons desire and longing for excitement through someone important to them. This is one of the more controversial song choices in the film due to it's obscurity, but again, it still fits the the theme of the scene despite how unpopular the track is.

Ok, since I have made two, long analyzes of the opening two songs, I am going to start skipping around and talk about the tracks I feel Doug has the most shit towards when they did overall have meaning to the plot. I'm hoping that, after these first two entries, you'll just take my word for it because I can, in theory, write how every song fit the themes of the film, but I not's gonna do that cause, you know, I unfortunately can't be here all day.

3. "Mama Mia" - Donna sings about how she was cheated by the three men who showed up randomly one day and has not seen in years. The "Mama Mia, here I go again" line is suppose to represent Donna reliving her past and how it not only thrills her, but also makes her remember how sad she was when she "learned they were through," like the song suggests.

4. "Super Trooper" - A song that describes how "beams are going to find me, but I won't feel blue, like I always do, cause somewhere in the crowd there's you." Donna's song is suppose to represent the relationship she has with her daughter and how she will always be there for her and will be subconsciously looking for her daughter through the "beams" (Donna being on a stage singing also ties into this nicely.) even when she is not there anymore. If your a mother who had their daughter move out for the first time, but you feel like she is somehow still there, this can definitely be relatable to you.

5. "Does Your Mother Know" - Tanya has a conversation with this kid (an adult who is a kid to her) who might or might not have had a one night stand with Tanya the previous night. Tanya sings and asks if "his mother knows that she's out." Implying that his mother would be extremely upset by his endeavors to seduce a woman who is much older than him...Doug, this is basic shit man, come on.

Last one. Again, another easy one to decipher if you grew up with the songs.

6. "Take A Chance On Me" - Two writers, Rosie and Bill who are written to be lone wolves "take a chance" on each other and fall in love. Done, easy.

These are just six examples as to how all of the songs from ABBA fit into the film. Again, it is very clear to me that Doug does not understand the songs or what they mean in context. I don't remember if he ever said he listened to the band at all during his life...but to me it felt like he hadn't. If he did, I felt like he would have connected to the songs more. I say this because when my mom and I went to go see this film in theaters three times when it came out. The whole audience (for me anyway) was laughing their asses off because of the jokes that correlated with the songs. Dancing Queen is one such example.

Anyways, one of my biggest complaints about Dougs review of Mama Mia is that he never really complements anything that I felt is really good about the film. There are many actors and actresses in Mama Mia that can sing extremely well. Amanda Seyfried, Christine Baranki, Julie Walters...and you know what, I'm just gonna say it. I think Meryl Streep can sing well too! The song "The Winner Takes It All" was the song Doug though Streep was really reaching to get right and did not work at all.

Something about that feels hypocritical to me, only because I have seen Doug sing and, well, let's just say it's one thing to critique someone for their singing when a reviewer has no experience or training and can only tell if a song is bad through reference (aka, listening to other songs though many forms of media), and yet. For Doug to suggest that Streep struggled during the song when, oh, I don't know, I felt that Doug's singing in the review of "The Wall" and "Les Miserables" were not even close to what Streep could pull off just makes him look bad to me. She probably trained with singing coaches despite her setbacks. Doug, more than likely, did not have that training or talent to perform in a movie/tv setting, let alone a review, and that's why this comes off as hypocritical to me. When Doug can perform the song "The Winner Takes It All" perfectly just like ABBA did, then we'll talk.

To make matters worse. One of the things I loved about this movie was the style and cinematography. It is, to me anyway, a very pretty movie to look at with really beautiful shots and scenery and Doug, as far as I could recall, rarely brought that up and was very much heavily focusing on how poorly the songs connected to the story when that very much was a none issue.

One of the other things I thought was really great about the film was the chemistry the characters had with each other. Especially the relationship between Sophie, Donna, and the three male leads (Sam, Bill and Harry.) When the jokes hit, they hit really well, and I know comedy is subjective. I totally get that, but because everyone on the set felt like they worked so well off of each other, it made the movie more entertaining overall, which I felt is important to this argument.

There are other things I could pick apart with Dougs review, but these are the main issues. The only things I do agree with during his critique on the film were the actors, mostly the male ones, who clearly couldn't sing well but were forced to in the end. Honestly, I just thought that made the movie funnier! I wondered for a time if Pierce Brosnan's bad singing was intentional along with Stellan Skarsgar. But honestly? I don't think Dominic Cooper and Colin Firth get enough credit for their singing capabilities. Even though their not trying to hold long notes and perform ballads like the females actresses are, I still felt like their songs were really well done.

And I will also agree with Doug that the cheap tricks (like the green screen) and the pacing, specifically with how quickly the film jumps from song to song can ruin the tone sometimes...and yeah. The ending is pretty bad too, that I can't deny either, though I thought the comedic timing was still spot on.

So yeah, that's my argument defending the film Mama Mia. I don't know if Rob's views on the film has changed eight years later...but if it hasn't I just...I don't know what to say. They reviewed hundreds of films and many musicals (Disney!) that are clearly worse than this one and it just...happens to be Rob's second least favorite film of all time? I just can't under any circumstances believe that when I know both Rob and Doug have seen worse.

Anyways that's it.

I will now add Dougs Mama Mia! review to his other list of film reviews I categorize under "Fuck you, I like it." This list includes Bridge To Terribithia, Halloweentown 1 and 2, Zatheria, Jumanji, and Disney's Secretariat. A film Doug has neglected to review for DisneyCember for many years and, during a live stream recently, said the movie was only "ok." Dude, did we even watch the same film? I don't even want Doug to review it now if he only "heard" it was ok when it is his job to review all of the Disney films, especially the ones that are live action originals which he did many years ago, and continues to forget about Secretariat.

However, I can't say anything good about Mama Mia Here We Go Again! That movie is complete dog shit and to this day, I can't understand why audiences and critics thought the second movie was better. Please enlighten me if you have thoughts...but it didn't need to exist. There was no reason for it too when the Broadway musical is still active. If Hairspray or Les Miserables got a sequel to their films. I guarantee you fans of these musicals would lose there shit, and not in a good way I think...

[elsanna-shenanigans]

September 2024 Contest Submission #5: How to Fix a Bridge

Words: 2,771 Setting: modern AU CW: mentions of Starbucks

What is happening here isn't fate.

The fact that she and Elsa are sitting in a coffee shop, about to have their first real conversation after a messy break-up five years ago, is not fate. It is a necessity based on one stupid, drunk mistake they both made a few nights ago.

Anna's not even sure what compelled her to go into that masquerade-themed nightclub last weekend– she's too afraid to even go to a restaurant by herself. Perhaps it had something to do with moving to a new city thousands of miles away from home with zero connections. She'd been dragged her down to a new level of loneliness, and her need to be around people overrode her fear of being lonely. So maybe, just for a night, she could surround herself with strangers. In masks. With a shit ton of UV lights and bad cocktails.

Less than half an hour later, she felt her luck finally turning around when she found herself making out with some woman in the stairwell. Neither of them had exchanged a single word with each other. No hello's, no asking for names, no flirtatious pregaming. All it took was to lock eyes underneath their lacy masks to understand what the other wanted. And then Anna had to ruin the moment by saying, "Let me see you."

The mystery woman obliged, and the makeout session abruptly stopped. Five years was not enough for her to forget the face of the woman who broke her heart.

That should have been the end of things. Anna was content with repressing this mistake until she could convince herself it never happened. But then, she got a text from the woman with the gold Venetian mask asking if they could talk about what happened. One talk, thirty minutes, and Anna could pick the place.

Instead of saying no, she said Starbucks.

Seeing her in the light, Anna could better pick up on the differences in Elsa's appearance. Her hair was a few shades lighter (almost bordering on silver) and though she still held some softness in her eyes, the developing rings underneath them presented a growing tiredness. A crisp button-up and slacks, along with a more refined posture, also helped to add more to the mystery of the woman in her ex's body.

"You look different."

Anna gawks like a dying fish as Elsa takes that conversation starter away from her.

"The braided crown is a nice touch," Elsa continues, tracing a line across her own hair with her finger. "I like it."

Wait, a compliment? Is she allowed to do that? It seems innocent enough, and saying thanks could keep this talk on a good track. "Well yeah, people tend to look different when you haven't seen them in five years."

Elsa frowns, exhibiting the creases in her skin near her cheeks. "I know that…"

Ah, there it is. Once again, Anna needs to do damage control because Elsa took something she said too seriously. She touches her braid, "I started doing this after a stylist did it for me once in Arendelle."

Elsa tilts her head, "Which stylist did you go to?"

"That place downtown called Poised," she answers. "My stylist was Clara, if that name rings a bell."

"It does," Elsa remarks. "She used to do my hair too." Goddamn it, can they have one thing to not have in common? Well, at least Elsa's not spiraling down her shame spiral anymore.

However, this does bring up a less painful and more amusing memory. "Was she the one who told you that you'd look good with a bob?" Anna asks.

Elsa's eyes flutter closed as she lets out a long sigh, "Yes, she was."

Anna leans back in her chair, twirling the straw in her iced mocha. "That was a weird couple of months."

Elsa takes a sip out of her cup of chai latte– at least they don't have the same coffee order. "I remember you changed my name on your phone during that time. What was it again? F.A.B.?"

Anna snorts, "Yeah, it stood for 'Fuck Ass Bob'."

Elsa frowns, "Still hurtful."

"Still accurate." Anna pulls her straw out of her cup to point to Elsa with it, but a few stray drops of mocha end up coming along for the ride. Some of them end up on Elsa's face and she blinks them away like a surprised dog.

If you'd told Anna a few years ago that she'd not only reunite with the woman who broke her heart but that they'd also share a laugh together, she'd ask who you are and what you were doing in her apartment. But that's what's happening right now, and it's…scary. It's scary how natural this still feels– how timeless this interaction is. Has it really been five years since she's heard this once personal melody?

She wishes that…no. She can't think that.

The laughter dies down, and Anna's not sure how else to continue the conversation without finally addressing the elephant in the half-full Starbucks. So, she lets Elsa do it.

A decision she regrets immediately.

Elsa leans forward after what she believes to be a comfortable amount of time, hands folded on the table. "Anna I'm just going to come right out and say it. I want to get back together again."

Anna blinks, but there are no amount of blinks in the world to turn this into just another bad dream. "Wait…what?"

"I do," Elsa affirms. She taps her fingers against her cup. "The past five years have been hell for me, and I've learned and grown so much, and I'm sure you have too." The beginnings of a smile can be seen ghosting across her lips as if she's here and somewhere else at the same time. "And now that we're living in the same city again, and we just happened to find each other in the same nightclub on the same night, and we can still have that same connection, it's almost like…"

Don't say it.

"Fate."

Ah fuck.

She bites her lip, and her eyes widen in that way that Anna's succumbed to hundreds of times. "I know I'm asking a lot from you, but can you honestly say that there's nothing between us anymore? Surely, you must have felt something that night."

The silence that punctuates this hopeful moment is unlike anything Anna's felt before– and it's being wasted at a goddamn coffee chain. For a moment, she wants to succumb to those eyes, and the smile that's fully grown on a still beautiful face. She wants things to be easy and to let go of the past. But she can't forget, she told herself she wouldn't forget.

Anna sits up and crosses her arms, looking down at the cold, marble table. "Elsa, do you remember why we broke up in the first place?"

No answer, but the smile is already starting to fade.

"Because I do. I still remember because it was the worst– worst– day of my life." Anna looks up at the pretentious hanging lights. "You broke up with me because you said you didn't know who you were anymore. That you 'lost yourself' in the relationship and forgot what it meant to be your own person. I didn't know any of this, Elsa, until you decided to end things." The anger from a past already buried is making her heart race and her blood boil. Exactly what she didn't want. "I-I was blindsided! And even after I said I would support you, and help you figure your own shit out, do you remember what you told me?"

"Anna.."

"You told me it was too late." Anna scoffs and throws her hands up, eyeing down the pained figure of her ex-girlfriend. When she speaks again, she tries to maintain the same ruthlessness, but a voice crack takes all of that away. "And now you're back. Five years later. Five years later, and you're telling me that now you're ready for this?" Pause. Silence. Outburst. "Why couldn't you be ready then?!"

"Don't you think I wanted to be?" Elsa finally replies. "I felt so terrible for what I did to you, Anna, because you were giving me everything. Your whole, authentic self. And I was giving you something I didn't think I was ready for. That's not what you deserved."

Anna shakes her head, "You don't get to tell me what I deserve. Back then, I was never thinking about what I deserved, I was just happy! I was so happy to be with someone that cared for me, wanted me, loved me. That's all I ever wanted from you, Elsa. And you…" She takes a sharp breath, "I don't even know what you wanted."

Elsa's voice softens, it's unclear whether that's because she refuses to yell or because she, too, is realizing that they're still in public. "Anna, you were all I wanted. And that terrified me. Not because of anything you did, but because I got too into my own way. I started asking myself who I was without you, and I didn't have an answer."

Anna's lips tighten, and she makes the mistake of looking away from their table. The handful of bystanders watching this car accident seem either annoyed or concerned. A prickling heat begins spreading across the back of her neck. When her focus returns to Elsa, it's almost a relief. "So, you were afraid because you were too invested in our relationship?"

Elsa opens her mouth to respond, hesitates, and then says, "I guess so."

"You realize how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

"Now I do."

"Oh, well hey at least you know now. And that's what matters." Her stomach churns from her pettiness (and the eyes). But it's not like she started this, right? She's not in the wrong here. Elsa's the one that…that…why can't she say it?

"Anna…"

"Stop."

Elsa flinches, "Stop what?"

"Stop saying my name like that. Stop pretending that you care about me. Stop…stop being you!"

"I don't know what else to be. But…I can try. Just tell me what you want me to be, Anna." Finally, she sees something new in Elsa's eyes. Something different. A good different– er, difference? It's…she doesn't know. It's a level of vulnerability she's never seen from Elsa before: a naked honesty, a bearing of a part of her soul she's never shown anyone before.

It makes her think that maybe Elsa's telling the truth.

"I don't want you to be anything," Anna answers. Because if Elsa is telling the truth, then so can she. "I just want…"

"Yes?"

But therein lies the problem: Anna hates the truth. The truth is terrifying, raw, and once it's out there, she can't take it back. She looks at Elsa again, and the changes she once saw aren't as visible anymore. "I want to get out of here."

Anna's chair scrapes against the tile as she stands up. She leaves her drink on the table and feels Elsa turn around and reach out to her. "Wait. Anna, please stay, we need to–"

"Make me."

She slams the door on the way out. Or, at least, she would have if it weren't for that stupid thingie on the top of the door that makes it close super slowly. And as Anna barely makes an effort to move out of the way of a couple going inside, and she stuffs her hands into the pockets of her almost-too-loose jeans, and she grits her teeth to stop a sneeze because of course they had to have this talk in the middle of fucking spring, she thinks to herself: what now?

There's no way she's going back inside, but going back to her apartment with half of her stuff still in boxes sounds exhausting and humiliating. The only places she knows in this town so far are this cursed place and the goddamn nightclub, so there's nowhere she can go to clear her head. And though the thought of going back home is too pathetic to even be an option.

Paralyzed by indecision, Anna sits on the curb, hoping the afternoon sun will either bake her into a burnt pile of nothing or a car will take pity and 'accidentally' back into her.

"Stupid," she says while curling into herself. "You're so stupid."

This isn't the first time Anna's shut herself out from the world. She did it in elementary school when she wasn't picked to play kickball with other kids at recess, she did it as a teenager when her family moved around a lot because of her dad's job, and most recently she did it after the funeral for her parents. But this is the first time she's done this where it felt like the world didn't care.

Footsteps came and went, people stepped around her without a single comment. She was nothing more than an obstacle: both in the way and all alone.

But after some time, a pair of footsteps come her way and stop rather than go around. Anna hears the shuffling of feet, smells the blessed aroma of berries, and feels an ice cold liquid tap against her knee.

"You left this inside. I thought you'd want it."

Anna turns to her left, and for a second she's back in the tenth grade, curled up against her locker, and gawking at the blonde who's just asked for her name. "I didn't want it back," she says, taking a sip before placing the drink on the ground."

Elsa's sad smile is briefly covered as she sips her own unfinished drink. "I could throw it away if you want."

"No," Anna demands. The caffeine is surprisingly helping.

"Then I won't."

"Good."

Elsa doesn't say anything else after that. She stays on the sidewalk, sipping her latte and letting time pass. Other customers come and go, sidestepping the duo and pumping exhaust fumes into their faces. When she's out of coffee and tired of having a silent companion, Anna finally asks. "Why are you still here?"

She answers her question with one of her own. "Remember during tenth grade when we had that part-time job at Oaken's?"

Anna fully turns her head, pressing her cheek against her knees and raising an eyebrow. "How could I forget? We almost died in that grease fire."

"Do you remember how we almost died?"

"Yeah, I ran back in to get the safety deposit box so Oaken wouldn't lose all of his savings." Anna pouts, "Those aren't fun memories. Why are you–"

Elsa stops her with a hand on her knee. To her credit, she does quickly apologize and let go. "I...barely knew you back then; we'd only become friends maybe a month before. But when I saw you run back into that diner, I didn't even think twice about going in to help you."

Anna remembers that moment. She also remembers almost ditching her stupid idea, terrified that Elsa would get hurt.

Yet here they are, still alive, and Elsa looks as unbothered as she did that night. "When everything finally calmed down, I realized I had just followed you into fire. Without question, without regrets." Elsa looks at the ground and takes a breath. "And if given the choice, I would do it again and again and again."

Anna tries to swallow the lump in her throat to no avail. "Elsa..." Ugh, and now she's got her doing the name thing too.

Elsa looks at her with undeniable sincerity, "Anna, you're still the person I'd walk into fire for, whether we're together or not. I won't ask you to get back together again, but I still want you in my life, and I want to get to know who you are now."

Anna lets go of her legs and rests her hands in her lap. Just an hour ago, Elsa being back in her life sounded like the worst possible thing. But now?

She bites her lip, "This could end badly, you know."

"I'm not sure how."

"Maybe you won't end up liking who I am now," Anna confesses. "Or maybe we just end up making the same mistakes again. Or maybe…we never get back together." Her chest tightens as those last words slip out of her mouth.

But Elsa, with her ever disarming smile, looks unfazed. "I guess that's a risk I'm willing to take. So, can we start over?"Anna looks at Elsa– really looks at her– for what seems like the first time today. And she sees what she needs to see. "No, we can't," she replies. "But we can start again."

[penumbralwoods]

oooo its me totally anonymous guy you should talk about what makes the ending of gravity falls special oooo

you all know the drill by now. lots of words under here alongside some weird personal biz

i know this was asked specifically about the ending but i'm also going over the whole thing because there are not many things in this life that have had such a tangible impact on me gravity falls is a show i grew up with. i don't remember when i first watched it, which means it's before i was 8-ish. as far as i can guess, one day gravity falls was on (this was in the Cable Days), and i decided to check it out. and it fundamentally changed me as a person. like, i know it's a common thing to say and i joke about it all the time but this was FORMATIVE. i was 9 years old and responding to being called a weirdo with "yeah i am!! it's cool!!" watching this show that CELEBRATED sticking out of the norm as the "weird kid", with undiagnosed autism, having no idea what ADHD actually meant, not even recognizing what i was going through at the time as abuse, Stuck With Me. i'm STILL discovering mannerisms i have that i didn't realize came from gravity falls. a tale of two stans is my favorite episode BY FAR, and it was as a kid too. besides it just being an amazing episode and follow-up to the fucking bomb that was not what he seems, i connect with ford a lot. like. painfully a lot. i was bullied for being a nerd and getting too into things. i was the golden child that was constantly seen as superior to my brother and he hated me for it. i cut my brother off after i reached a breaking point; we haven't spoken for years. i have a love for things generally seen as gross or weird. i have a lot of trouble working with people. i, too, would be content living in the middle of the woods studying weird little critters until i lost it. stanford is also my favorite character in the show because he's like if i was smart enough to compensate for all the other shit i have going on. dipper is me if i was a cis man that's literally the only difference and it's really annoying and the ending. okay. there's a lot going on in somewhere in the woods. for one, it's the one and only time we see dipper and stanford cry on screen. for two, it has a deliberate sense of finality that is part of the reason i will never hope for or believe there will be a season 3. stan doesn't run the mystery shack, soos does. dipper and mabel aren't in town anymore. bill cipher is dead and getting involuntary therapy. everyone is moving on. you see the sign telling you you're leaving gravity falls. it's over, and it's impossible not to feel like it. the piano track that plays is fucking beautiful, and with how much the opening theme is included in dramatic scenes, it's a really good note to end on before the credits. just. it's so well executed and honestly, perfectly gets across the feeling you get going back home after visiting for the summer. you know you'll be back, but you're still leaving. i cannot imagine a better ending for a show that deals so much with changing and growing up and things ending. i would never want a season 3 after that.

[mensahjacq]

a deep dive into lana del rey

I can’t remember how exactly I stumbled across one of Lana Del Rey’s songs and what exactly started my obsession. I had simply never heard a voice like hers and the way she delivers her sound was like heaven to my ears and I immediately had to seek out her other music.

Elizabeth Woolridge Grant, commonly known as Lana Del Rey, is known for her theme of writing songs about romance, addictions, and tragedy. She has an American vintage glamour vibe that she portrays not only in her music but also in her lifestyle. Most of Lana’s inspiration for her songs comes from her own life experiences with past boyfriends and the heartbreaks she endured. Her songs act as an outlet for her own trauma and feature strong themes and messages about love, obsession, darkness, and struggles as a human being. 

Lana stated that one of her most famous songs, Born To Die, is about a past abusive and toxic relationship she struggled to get out of at a young age. She felt like she had no escape, and was unable to let go of him. She talks about finding her voice and strength to leave as she is now older with the lyrics, “Lost but now I am found/ I can see that once I was blind/ I was so confused as a little child”. Many women struggle with the same difficult situation regarding domestic violence and abusive partners, and it is quite admiring how Lana can take her pain and trauma and turn it into lyrics and music, to help others.

Her music videos give off a cinematic retro quality, are low-budget and some are even self-made and uploaded by Lana herself. For example, in her breakout album, Born to Die: The Paradise Edition, the music video for one of the most famous tracks, Video Games, was self-made and comprised of some clips of her singing on a computer camera, the busy streets of Hollywood, footage from the 1980s club scenes, and many more retro digital video footage. 

Getting into Lana’s life, there’s a bit of mystery surrounding her. She is a high-earning mainstream successful artist yet she does not typically participate in Hollywood-esque events and likes to do things as a normal, non-famous person would. For example, sometime in July of 2023, she was spotted casually working in a Waffle House in Alabama, serving drinks and completely disregarding her celebrity status. Here’s an article that gets into what exactly she was doing at this particular Waffle House, it just shows how humble and down-to-earth Lana is. 

Even her on-stage performances give off a relaxed, local vibe despite thousands of people being in the crowd and coming out just to see her. One of my favorite shows of hers features a clip of her setting down a lit cigarette on her microphone stand followed by her beginning to perform one of her most famous songs, Summertime Sadness. This clip went viral and goes to show why Lana is loved by so many. She has an intimate, genuine connection with her music and that is felt by her fans and anyone else who is listening.

She has experienced some success of her own. Her career-topping sixth album, Norman Fucking Rockwell!, was deemed the greatest release of 2019 by Pitchfork and is a Grammy Award nominee for album of the year. Del Rey's first two albums, "Born to Die" and "Ultraviolence," both appeared on various decade-end lists as 2019 drew to its conclusion. Insider named her one of the musicians who defined the decade. But soon after, Del Rey's actions started to receive more media attention than her music.

The Controversies

Although there are many people including myself who adore Lana’s music, she does have a fair share of critics, and many blogs and articles are written with a lack of agreement about her choice of music style and lyrics. Many criticize her decision to write about past abusive relationships and instead deem it as her glamorizing abuse and being anti-feminist. This blog by BBC goes into detail about the critiques and Lana’s responses to them. This is not the only article that goes into detail about Lana’s alleged “short-comings” in her career, there are many more and she often has to defend herself and the work she puts out.

Del Rey claimed to be writing "about the realities of what we are all now seeing are very prevalent emotionally abusive relationships all over the world" in her Instagram essay, picking up this theme. She went on to say that other women now had the freedom to express themselves through their music without having to sing about how happy they were, "in contrast to my experience where, if I even expressed a note of sadness in my first two records, I was deemed literally hysterical as though it was literally the 1920s."

Lana, like any other celebrity, has had her fair share of scandals and controversies, but this does not take away from her hard work and support of women who've been through struggles with domestic violence and also her intense love for her supporters and fans.

[governmentintelligence]

Hypothermia (happy birthday winter!!!!)

A/N: happy birthday @winterpower98!!!!! i made you angst :)

i saw all your notes from white tang au and honestly??? fucking love the vibes. i didn't do much with the Plot but i hope you still enjoy it :>

WARNINGS: hypothermia, it is cold, derealization/dissociation, choking, threatened murder/suicide, implied murder, implied blood, no happy ending

Words: 4041

enjoy!! <3

There were a lot of downsides to possession, but the one that Tang had expected the least was the cold.

That might also not be a fair description of the problem. He hadn’t expected to be possessed. No one ever expects to get possessed. Given the concept, though, he had some preconceived ideas of what possession would entail. A lot of them were more hands-on, like the visceral dissonance from physical form that came with watching his body move of its own accord. That was something he imagined when he thought of being possessed.

It was still striking, but it was something he’d expected, at least.

He hadn’t expected how numb he’d feel. How little and how insignificant it would feel to be sequestered away into his own head.

He hadn’t thought that she would invade his mind in the same way, echoing his own voice back at him. She perfectly mimicked his voice, his tones, his speaking cadence, such that even he couldn’t tell her apart on most days.

They would drudge up to the mirror in the morning, and Tang would stare into his ice blue eyes and have to convince himself that they weren’t always that color. Most days, he imagined himself staring at a stranger. Some days, he wouldn’t even be able to focus on his reflection. Those were the days he felt the most cold.

Mild Hypothermia Symptoms include shivering, increased heart rate, and mental confusion. Patient may seem dazed and unsure of themselves.

The Lady Bone Demon had been masquerading as a young girl, trying to find books at the library. In retrospect, it may have been on the nose for her to have been looking for a book on Dyatlov Pass. It was almost like a double emphasis on the ice theming, to be looking for another incident of people succumbing to the cold. Maybe even foreshadowing. Tang’s always been fond of stories.

The library was sprawling large. Tang had offered to help her find it. The library is quiet most days, so it wasn’t like he was busy.

He stopped by the shelves and, when he turned to direct her to the proper book, was struck by a gust of wind. It burned his throat like smoke, yet settled in his chest cold as ice, freezing from the inside out. The girl had just stood there, smiling coyly, knowingly.

Tang wasn’t sure what happened specifically after that, even if it had happened at all, because his memory picked back up with him walking to the help desk.

From there, it was a little spotty. He’d gone to sit at the help desk and found himself sitting down at his usual counter spotat Pigsy’s Noodles. Pigsy was sharp, much sharper than people give him credit for. Nothing could ever sneak past his snout, not MK’s poor sleep schedule and not Tang’s distant stare.

He could remember Pigsy asking if he was okay. Tang wasn’t very sure what he replied with, but he did remember that Pigsy’s banter was much softer afterward. He likely just thought Tang was tired. It was rare that he’d be this tired after work, maybe it was worrying. He didn’t know.

He couldn’t think, his head was so, so cold.

He’d wanted to bring it up, after the first day or two or three. He couldn’t keep track. Tang had definitely tried to tell Pigsy, though, at some point. Only to hear a voice in his head, and be unable to open his lips. His throat had tightened, too, like something was choking him. The ice burned.

Don’t speak, it told him. She, she told him.

That’s absurd, he’d thought back. He speaks a lot, thank you very much, and no two-bit voice in his head was going to tell him otherwise.

And yet, it did. He could just barely open his mouth, but no sound, no air, escaped.

Slowly, he’d just slurped more noodles, watching Pigsy’s back as he cooked. After a moment, once the thought to tell Pigsy had passed, so did his throat’s constriction. Tang was too dazed to try it again.

In hindsight, he should have. If only he’d kept pushing more, fought more, then maybe he would have gotten Pigsy’s attention before it was too late.

He’d been sleeping on the couch for the past few days, another idea that had settled in his head and he was too tired to fight against. His brain felt sluggish, as if trying to move through a storm, trudging ever forward against a wind that threatened to topple him. There was something warm wrapped around his back, glowing gold just out of the corner of his eye when he wasn’t paying attention, though Tang wasn’t sure what that was. He didn’t know enough about this soul magic to be able to identify it. Where would he have learned?

MK would probably know what was going on. He tried to tell MK, too, tried to signal that something was happening. He couldn’t remember if this was before or after he’d tried to tell Pigsy, but the same thing had happened. Tang’s throat had closed up and he’d been directed to eat once again. He had no choice other than to oblige.

His body wasn’t connected to him. It belonged to that voice he’d heard whisper to him. It was the young girl’s voice, at the library, but come now. Tang knew she wasn’t a random person. Perhaps she’d looked for him.

Perhaps she knew MK and was using Tang. It was morbid, but he would make a pretty good meat shield.

The first time that thought crossed his mind, he’d heard her laugh, a soft chuckle that was all too foreboding, and he’d known exactly what her plan was. It was before the cold set in fully, before his hands numbed beyond his recognition. He still had some control. But it was all too weak. His hands shook, so he hid them in his own sleeves, holding each other for warmth and because doing anything else would get her to hold him down.

Over time, it did feel more physical. He couldn’t move his body, not when he wanted to move it, but he could feel things being done to him. Felt Pigsy pat his back sympathetically when he’d explained that he was coming down with a cold, didn’t want to get him sick, too, so he’d sleep on the sofa.

She never introduced herself, not truly, but after long enough, Tang recognized her from legend. If it fed her ego, she didn’t acknowledge. But it was good to know who he was imprisoned by.

He felt phantom feelings, if that was even a possible thing. In his mind’s eye, when he wasn’t focused, he could see white shackles on his wrists. A glowing blue crack over his chest. But as soon as Tang tried to focus on what he was seeing, it would disappear.

Moderate Hypothermia Shivering will cease, though it will be replaced with increased mental confusion, slurred speech, and loss of fine motor skills. Confusion will include amnesia and slowed thought process.

“Hey,” Pigsy’s voice rattles him, gruff and angrier than he’d ever heard.

Tang feels his head lift. Now that he wasn’t actively fighting back at all times, he’d been allowed to feel his body’s movements. It was like the cold had solidified. Attempting to move his limps was impossible, but he could see his own body move, see his hand reach up to hold the underside of his own chin in a casual manner.

It was tiring. He wanted to doze off, but everyone knows sleeping in a snow storm spells death.

“Hey yourself,” he can hear himself speak, too, which was something he’d found he couldn’t do anymore.

“Who are you.”

The sentence hits Tang rough, the venom in Pigsy’s voice dripping, covered in anger, maybe even hurt. It was enough of a rattle to catch his attention, give him something to focus on.

Fiery anger. He cups the warmth and tries to focus.

His face shifts, eyebrow quirking up in an unimpressed, surprised look that he wasn’t making himself. He knew he couldn’t, this wasn’t his body anymore. Tang was just trapped, watching someone else, this demon, Lady Bone Demon, lift his limbs and walk him around.

It made him feel hopeful, almost grateful, that Pigsy had recognized the difference. A twinge of cold struck him over the reminder that he was a week late, maybe even longer, but, still, he was so thankful that someone noticed. And it warmed his heart ever so slightly to think that it was Pigsy who did.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tang’s voice says.

“You know damn well,” Pigsy growls back, and it was foolish of him to doubt Pigsy, to worry that he wouldn’t be able to help, to worry that it would be too late. “What’d you do to Tang and who the fuck are you.”

His head tilts again. “Well, aren’t you sharper than you used to be.”

Used to be? Tang doesn’t understand what the Lady Bone Demon is saying, but he knows it rattles Pigsy, because his eyes widen. His arms, which had been crossed at the confrontation, slowly lower. He’s scared.

Why would Pigsy be scared? Does he know this demon? How would he? Tang is confused by this reaction, watching with mounting anxiety. If his heart could race, he knew it would be racing right now.

Pigsy could get help from MK, and if he couldn’t help, then MK could get the Monkey King. There were multiple avenues to get help here.

“What’s wrong, Bajie. You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” are the words that Tang hears himself say, and they surprise him most of all.

Tang recognized Lady Bone Demon, after some time. He’d known what she was, where her origins lay in the stories he’d been told, thrived in, repeated himself. He wasn’t ignorant of her. So he knew this was quite the situation. He didn’t know exactly what she was doing with him but, given her antagonistic relationship to the Monkey King, Tang could make some assumptions. Probably some way to watch MK. Maybe watch the Monkey King himself.

Never in his fucking life did he expect Pigsy to get called Bajie.

As in, Zhu Bajie? Pigsy was that Bajie? There was surely no way.

Until Pigsy flinched, answered to a name that Tang only knew from legends. Snapped back at her in acknowledgement of the name.

What the fuck do you mean he was in a complicated relationship with Zhu Bajie.

She laughs, with his mouth, his voice, and Tang doesn’t know if she’s laughing at him or at the panic in Pigsy’s (Bajie? That’s fucking Bajie?) face. How convoluted.

Tang is kept warm with the tangled threads of confusion over these new revelations, which is probably to her benefit. She continues to use his mouth to talk to Pigsy, Bajie, apparently, and he turns inward. A slight cloak of warmth keeps his consciousness guarded, and at least his troubled confusion was something he could think about, rather than the gnawing cold.

How had he never noticed? It made more sense that Pigsy wouldn’t tell, he probably had things to preserve and to hide, if it were true. But how had something that large just….slipped past him? He should have noticed. He’d studied the journey’s legends front and back, hell, he’d recited so many of the stories to MK from pure memory. And yet he’d spent the past few years sharing a bed with one of the heroes from his stories.

That was something that Tang could focus on, at least. He wasn’t very interesting to the demon wearing his body, and thus she didn’t humor him with her attention. It turned out to be something almost in his favor, given how his mind had been completely detached from his body, watching and listening and feeling things but never being able to act upon them. Better than to have her focus, lest she turn his anger onto him.

It was nice to have something to think about that wasn’t the revulsion of watching himself as if in a dream, unable to do anything himself. In his mind’s eye, he had no limbs, nothing to move, nothing to do. He did his best to be unassuming to her.

At least thinking back on every interaction he’d ever had with Pigsy was giving his brain something to focus on. Maybe too much.

Remembering and living in memory gave him a good distraction from seeing how she was using his body to treat Pigsy, too. Whenever he was cognizant of it, Tang would notice what he was saying, the sharpness of her words. She’d purred, once, that the human body could only go so long without eating, and in that moment he’d felt the visceral hunger of his body.

He’d forgotten how long he’d been kept out, and he didn’t know how long it had been since he’d eaten. Had water. Even slept. He, in his mind, was sleeping. All the time, actually. But when he became cognizant of it, focusing on how his body felt, he realized exactly how exhausted he was. She was wearing him into the ground.

It was also probably beneficial for her, to have him distance himself from the pain of existing in his body. He could do nothing other than feel how it felt to be in his body, and Tang didn’t want to exist just for him to feel how painful it was to be starved, cold, dehydrated, and exhausted.

In a small act of rebellion, though, he paid attention to when Pigsy would care for him. Pigsy sets out a bowl of noodles, glare stifled by MK and Mei’s presence, posture stiff with unforgiving, unrelenting anger. And Tang’s body leans over the noodles in a quick, lurching motion. Because he is hungry. And the food is familiar. Is warm. There’s nothing like his favorite noodles when he hasn’t eaten. She’s silent for once as she picks up the chopsticks with his fingers.

Tang doesn’t know if he made the motion or if she did, to be honest. He is hungry and he craves the food set before him, but he isn’t a fool to think that he would be allowed to move.

While Tang eats, or, rather, she eats with his body, Tang is acutely aware of how Pigsy watches. There’s something in his gaze, as if he’s unsure of something, trying to correlate the action to the person he knows is there. Tang knows he’s smart. He trusts Pigsy with his entire life. If anyone can tell who makes the motion, it must be Pigsy, even if Tang himself doesn’t know.

Maybe that’s her plan. Maybe it’s beneficial, for her, to have Pigsy on the edge of his seat, recognizing Tang as trapped in his own body. It’s the hope of him still existing.

Maybe it’s cruel, to want to signal to Pigsy that he is, indeed, doing his best to exist. But he wants to. He needs Pigsy to know he’s trying to stay conscious. He hasn’t given up. He won’t. He’s fighting a losing battle, but he won’t.

He wonders if his body could live if not maintained, inhabited by a demon. He would very much like to not know if that was possible.

Tang doesn’t know if he makes sense, even to himself. His brain feels so fast and so slow. His thoughts race into each other and create nothing. At the very least, it keeps him awake and alert, but it does nothing to help his circumstances. He doesn’t know if it’s possible for him to do anything.

It’s impossible for him to do anything, she warns him. Her voice is cold, frost growing at the tips of his ears. His body feels like a snowglobe. Trapped and on display and invisible, all at the same time.

You’re never getting out, she whispers to him. He tries not to believe her.

Severe Hypothermia Respiratory and heart rates will continue to decrease. Patient’s skin will be cold and inflamed, and mental confusion delves into hallucinations and increased combative state. The body tricks itself into thinking the cold has given way to warmth.

Days. Weeks. Maybe a month, even. Multiple months. A year?

Tang doesn’t have a method to keep track of time.

He sees his body age in the mirror every morning, but he doesn’t know if it’s the passage of time or exhaustion. She plucks a hair from his head, turning it over on close inspection, and he sees that it’s white. A white hair.

Is he just growing old, or is he cold?

The Lady scoffs, tossing it into the bin, and he watches her turn around from the mirror. Then, he reminds himself that he cannot allow himself to leave his perspective. He has to keep track of what she does with his body through his own eyes. It’s a little difficult. She must have gotten rid of his glasses because everything is just slightly out of focus, too far away.

Pigsy keeps him alive. Tang doesn’t know if he should be calling him Bajie or Pigsy and it’s not like he’s going to ever get the chance to ask, so in his mind, he calls him Pigsy. That’s the name that slot comfortably into his mind, which conjures a figure of the familiar, like a hearth. He holds the thoughts and tries so hard not to let go.

It’s still hard to follow what happens. His consciousness does waver, blinking in and out like a dying light. He rallies against the cold, tries to tug at whatever it is in the corners of his eyes that glow with warmth, keep him the barest alive.

He knows she’s cruel to Pigsy, in his body. She sleeps in the same bed as him, holds him at night, gives him a kiss on the forehead in the morning. Tang wishes he could be as mad about this as he should be, but he can’t bring himself to feel moth other than tired. He wishes he could feel what it would be like to hold Pigsy like that. She’d long stopped letting him experience the outside world at all, even the edges of his vision blurred with the loss of his glasses and the cold burning his senses.

She tells Pigsy, one day, that Tang loved him. That it was a shame he never worked up the courage to tell him. Won’t get the chance, anymore.

Tang doesn’t catch his reaction, but he hopes Pigsy knows that he still does love him. There’s little left of him but he does.

The demon attacks keep happening, he keeps following MK with Pigsy. Sometimes Tang is cognizant of the damage and the barrage of violence. Other times, he keeps drifting, trying to stay alert while everything grows numb. His motivation and energy pulsates, though he can feel it growing weaker.

Something keeps him from fading completely, a warm buzz of strength at his more dire times that reminds him he has so many reasons to keep focused, keep alert.

He catches MK’s expression once. He doesn’t remember the context, or why, but his eyes were glowing. The Monkey King had taught him that, once. It allowed MK to see through the surrounding world, could see the souls of the people around them.

He sees me, she confessed to Tang. Much less a confession, actually, and much more a statement of truth. Maybe even haughty. Proud.

The jig was up, then. It had to be. Another pang of hope through his chest, just like when Pigsy had noticed.

Hope is warm enough to coat himself in, but it doesn’t stop the temporal dissonance, and Tang tries to focus once more. He’s seated at the bar of Pigsy’s Noodles, as he always is. MK is nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps MK noticing was only a dream. He’s been doing that, thinking up scenarios that had never happened. There was little else to do to keep his focus, because if he saw too much through his own eyes, he would grow sick of himself.

She liked to see his disgust at what she’d made his hands do, covered in blood every so often. He could have killed. She could have killed, with his body. He couldn’t remember if that was true, too, or just another hallucination. Another thing his brain thought up to try and keep him alert, as fake as it was.

Tang assumed this was another day. Just another day, easy enough to drift off once more. Conserve his energy. Keep trying to stay present. Or conserve his energy. A difficult decision, really, but the only one he’s had to make over and over.

Until a hand, a clawed paw, grabs his shoulder and whips him around. Tang’s body is yanked up and forced back. He hears a snarl of anger from his assailant, sharper than most sounds he’s heard lately, and in a visceral moment Tang realizes that he’s been pushed into the forefront once more.

For the first time in a long, long while, Tang feels the sharp slam too forcefully against the countertop. His mind screams out in shock, surprise as the tremor and pain at the motion. She hadn’t let him feel in so long that it might have been a mercy, to feel something so human as pain.

Outwardly, he can only feel his face fall into a smirk as she stares down at the Monkey King.

“Get out. Now,” the Monkey King’s voice is dark, threatening, teeth bared.

“Or? You’ll kill me?” Tang hates how confident the Lady sounds in his voice, like she were meant to wear it. “You’re welcome to try.”

It sounds distant from his own. Is that always how his voice has sounded?

“But you’ll have to get through my host first.” She keeps talking with his voice and the more Tang hears, the more he doesn’t recognize it. “And I don’t think your brother and his kid will be happy with that.”

She lifted his arms behind his head, casually leaning against the wall besides the counter. He wonders if it’s a natural pose with his body. It doesn’t feel natural to him, now that he’s feeling it. His shoulders feel stiff. Everything feels stiff, actually.

Everything feels cold, too. Why is he so cold?

The Monkey King glares, but the expression dulls, fades over the span of a few seconds. He looks shaken, even.

He knows what you are, now, she tells Tang.

Tang doesn’t even know what he is. She laughs at that. In his mind, of course. Right? Tang doesn’t know if he hears the laughter aloud.

Golden warmth wraps his shoulders again, careful and gentle, and he drifts away once again. He wonders if this is the first time his disciple has failed him. Curious, too, is the thought. Since when was the Monkey King his disciple?

Death to Hypothermia Bodily functions continue to slow until patient loses consciousness and, eventually, life.

The knife pressed against his neck was almost warm. It was warmer than anything else Tang had felt in a while.

He couldn’t remember what it was like to breathe. To be awake, himself. All of the days blurred together, distant from his own person as he watched the world move around him, body being puppeteered by his lady.

She liked that. It was deferring in leadership, the acknowledgement that Tang wasn’t in control. Was it giving up?

“Let’s not do anything hasty,” she says to the crowd.

Tang slips back, the frosty snow storm covering his view.

The knife against his neck is so warm, almost warmer than the wings draped around his back, golden glow the only color against the frozen backdrop of his mind. He hadn’t seen them up close, still just out of the corner of his own vision, but she had proudly chided him enough times that Tang knew what they were. What he was.

The Monkey King is scared, her voice purrs to him. I have you.

I have you now.

[mfs-research-institute]

I was reading the theory about Nicte and the spree and couldn't help remembering episode 1x03 when they check their family history on the tapestry and Scylla says that hers is "more complicated & there's more to this family bullshit" As far as I'm aware, she's been using her real name when answering the call etc. so why would she say that? I feel like she must be linked to Nicte somehow, maybe blood related? I wish we'd have more backstory & maybe flashbacks of her life.

We love talking about Nicte and what her history may be! Here are some thoughts on your questions:

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@queerscifinerd: I had a gut feeling that Scylla and Nicte might have a connection since episode one! And I've seen at least one other person on tumblr with a similar theory (sadly can't remember who or have a link ). Either a family connection, be it close or distant or Scylla's parents knew Nicte/where good friends with her.

If it's a familial connection, I'd say it's through Scylla's dad because of their different last names. I'm pretty sure that Scylla Ramshorn is Scylla's actual birth name because the army already knew who she was (probably had records of her in some way?), so she used that for her cover at Fort Salem because the risk of her using a false name was too high maybe. 

But WHY they had records is the question. Because the military apparently knew who Scylla's family is, I'm pretty sure they defected recently (maybe her parents even defected together with Nicte! That would be interesting!) and the reason why her family is not on the flag is because maybe the military immediately purges family's from the flag as soon as they start dodging (which would also explain how the Imperative lost track of all these witches). 

However I'm 50:50 on the theory of familial connection btw Scylla and Nicte and each episode leaning more towards that IF Nicte and Scylla's parents knew each other they were probably friends  BECAUSE I'm pretty sure that Nicte, wherever she is right now (because there is no way she is dead, come on), is probably hiding out in the Cession and is most likely also from the Cession because the actress who plays Nicte is Indigenous Canadian!!! I don't think that that casting choice is a coincidence!!! Tl:dr; Team Ramshorns knew Nicte as a family friend. 

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@captainjeclid: Alder seemed pretty fucking hellbent on the fact that Scylla should've been rotting in prison and was mad as hell she wasn't. So maybe if she knows how the [Ramshorn] line progressed, there could be a definite possibility in them being related [to Nicte]. And like Anacostia said, it didn't sit right with her that Alder just wanted to throw Scylla away… so that might indicate that Alder's actions were out of the norm for dealing with defectors.

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@smallfrost: Let me first admit that I didn't realize Scylla actually said "no" to her family being on the flag but even forgetting the exact response, my gut feeling about that scene was that Scylla was just avoiding telling Raelle about her family. Not that the Ramshorns weren't necessary physically on the family tree flag. Remember, that scene was pre Scylla telling Raelle about her parents being dodgers - so at that moment, Scylla was just trying to gaslight Raelle and pull her away to further her own mission/agenda. It is very possible that if Scylla placed her medal on the flag, a Ramshorn family would appear but with a weird configuration which would make Raelle suspicious, possibly alienating her and setting Scylla back. So all in all, I don't think Scylla has any relations to Nicte. Her parents were also not Spree, but dodgers. I won't say I can't imagine them crossing paths at some point but I'm leaning more towards they don't know each other [yet - I definitely think Scylla and Willa are going to meet Nicte at some point this season, or discuss her if she isn't still alive].

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@jalehh: Scylla’s exact words from 1x03 were: [is your family on this thing?], "No, my family history is complicated. You know, there is more to the place than this family bullshit. Come on."  [smallfrost: "lollll I forgot that part, thank you"]. Smallfrost has a great point, though, that Scylla was still avoiding to tell that her parents were dodgers, but I also want to note that she was trying to get Raelle into other parts of the exhibit - mainly the one with the Camarilla / Burning Times theme.

I strongly doubt that Scylla is in ANY way related to Nicte Batan. She might know her as a legend or hero or something like that, but not personally. I doubt that. 

That said... I too wish would get to see more of Scylla's past. 

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@maplecroft: I think it may simply be that Scylla’s parents (at least, if not more relatives) defected from the Army and didn’t serve, so there would be some sort of gap or something indicating this on the flag. OR Scylla didn’t know for certain if there would be some sort of gap/indicator and just didn’t want to risk it. She doesn’t tell Raelle about her Dodger parents until later in the episode when Raelle confronts her.

I mean, Raelle wouldn’t have even known who Nicte was. (And there’s no indication Scylla knows, either, for what it's worth.) So even if Scylla was related to Nicte, it literally wouldn’t have mattered because Raelle wouldn’t have been like “oh that’s the Spree founder” or whatever. She wouldn’t have thought anything about it.

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Thank you for the ask! As always, if you would like to join the conversations on our Discord, please shoot us a DM for an invite!