#AND IT WAS AND I WAS ABLE TO RESPOND NOW
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suzu bubs !! hi hi !!
aaa it's been a long while since my last visit to your inbox. how've you been faring? i hope all is okay for you at the very least and in case it hasn't; i am giving you all the tight virtual hugs to ever exist ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾ you are doing amazing even while trying~
i have seen your reblogs of old posts and asks you responded to and the nostalgia attack i got smacked across the face with ;; all the fluff was needed after my little piece of essay length kuni brainrot i've been meaning to share with you that was just everything but fluff www
to compensate, here's a little incorrect quote with none other than everyone's favorite sixth harbinger ~
scaramouche: the other night; (name) kept brushing my hair with their fingers then touched my cheek while i slept. are they plotting to kill me?
tartaglia: ...they just love you, dumbass.
sending you lots of love friend !! gentle reminder to take care, stay safe as well as treat yourself to at least two meals a day and staying hydrated ^-^ another gentle reminder that no matter how little you did today, big and small, you are doing an incredible job (^∇^)ノ♡
— with love and more little tea parties to come, ayame.
HI BELOVED YAME!! <3 I MISSED YOUR CUTE LIL ASKS TOO!! 😭💖 As for me, I'm doing pretty good, just existing out here tbh (definitely not ready to face my enemy which is the summer heat!) I hope you are doing good as well! I also hope your proofreading goes good (bc same, i despise proofreading omfg... it's so boring 😭)
I too get nostalgic when I reblog my old posts... i can't believe how much time has gone by. and my writing has changed a lot... (i still love the comments you left on the dot pill post <33) AND EEEE!! I CAN'T WAIT TO READ YOUR KUNI BRAINROT!! I LOVE AND MISS HIM AND YOU AND YOUR WRITING TREMENDOUSLY!!
NWKDNW I LOVE SCARA AND CHILDE'S DYNAMIC SM... I imagine Childe would be amused at how stupid his co-worker acts around you vs literally everyone else... he would make fun of him and risk getting electrocuted!! He does feel bad for you though... the puppet who likes you is a tiny 🤏 bit of an idiot when it comes to feelings. Wingman Childe to the rescue 🙏
I too am sending you all my love Yame!! I want you to take care of yourself too please and take it easy! ❤️ Mwah mwah, i hope to hear more from you <3
#smooches talks#moots: ayame <3#omfg yame yk ur ask got eaten by tumblr 😭 i got an email but it wasn't in my inbox#i was gonna reply by sending u an ask but i decided to scroll through my activity notifs and see if it was there#AND IT WAS AND I WAS ABLE TO RESPOND NOW#regardless ur asks are as aesthetic as ever. i luv reading them#when i saw scara in that goofy ahh coat i immediately thought of u
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idont care if your durge was having crazy eroguro sex with gorty can you get them to put some pants on and tell me about their sibling relationship with orin. please.
#i think you should be able to recruit orin she doesnt reform in any meaningful way#she just lives at your camp and has decided to kill the people you point her at now#and she still eats people or whatever like let a girl live a little.#dak-wai shows up back at camp looking like they got mauled with orin in tow (did the mauling)#and is just like. hey. we're good. and responds to any further questions with It's fine. We're good.#she just needed to evil stim stab them a couple times and they resolved everything. it's fine.#balls your gay 3
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*There is a triangle hiding nearby and staaaaaarrrrrriiiinnnnnggggg*
@scpbillontherun
*ford can just feel the eye on him - paranoia remaining from betrayal arc - and finds where this triangle is hiding. He just- stares back.*
#ford’s findings#imma warn you now but I (mod) am probably going to bed very soon. might not be able to respond much ;-;
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jed: (reading a trivia book) "hey, did you know that roman statues used to be colorful and the only reason they look white now is because their paint rubbed off over the years?"
augustus: "you should have seen me at my prime, i looked like some kind of mardi gras decoration"

Unfortunately I don't think there's a trivia book small enough for Jed to navigate through. Thankfully smart phones 📱 exist.
Too bored to write the dialogue myself so I edited it in (it probably is more readable now anyway)
#unfortunately I won't be home for the weekend so I won't be able to respond to asks (at least with drawings)#anyway#can you spot the 'mistake' I made? hint: it's on Jed#ask#anonymous#answered#parents or bust au#yes that's the au's name now#natm#night at the museum#augustus caesar#Augustus natm#natm octavius#natm jedediah#jedediah smith#gaius octavius#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#fanart#art#traditional art
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did i play morrowind just to see dagoth? yes. did i also find out that morrowind is the best game ive ever played? also yes.
#AAARGHGHGHRA#AWOOGA#i love dagoth so much#if you see this you have to play morrowind. pls.#morrowind#tes#tesblr#dagoth ur#tes morrowind#art#sai#fanart#tes fanart#now i really need to draw my nerevarine oof#also also if u send me an anon uuuuh im probs not going to respond... sorry but it gives a lot of anxiety lol#maybe when i get drunk again ill be able to respond :( sowwy
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Vox can understand Velvette just fine. They don't necessarily need to get along all the time, but they have a mutually beneficial contract that guarantees her support in the most efficient way possible, just how they both like it, short and strict and to the point. Vox does not understand Valentino. It drives him unimaginably, disgustingly insane. He knows how to handle him, make no mistake. Valentino is a never-ending powerhouse that wrangles out content from his employees like there's no tomorrow. He's proven himself to be Vox's most lucrative investment yet. He is resourceful, well-connected and most importantly predictable enough to rein in. Because he listens to you, because he needs you.
He is also, undeniably, out of his goddamn mind. Yet you've already invested too much in the corporate empire you've built together and there is no point turning back now that you have him so close to your side. It's OK however! He couldn't possibly be stupid enough to throw away the best partnership deal he's ever had just for the sake of something petty cause -oh, wait - he genuinely might just be that stupid and you never would've guessed because he's so cocksure of his bullshit that 80% of the time it ends up working in his favor anyway.
Fuck his life indeed. The kicker for this of course is that Valentino, genuinely does believe he has struck gold with Vox. Valentino is a clingy, possessive, immature, perverted, sadistic, egotistical man-child with severe rage issues and poor impulse control. No he is not aware of this at all. No he does not know why nobody is able to tolerate him and why every single person he gets close to hates his guts with every inch of their burning rotting souls. All he knows is that hell has now given him a flat faced prince in shining liquid crystal armour, riding on a cash filled horse with promises of power and luxury, who's practically handing him success on a silver platter. Doesn't mean that Val trusts him, doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy seeing him lose his shit. But at the end of the day vox has his back, and as long as Val keeps calling for him, he'll eventually turn up and make everything better. Cause hey if Vox hasn't left him yet for this long he must be doing something right. Right?
#for those of y'all new to the tag yes these two have been technically canon for a long while#and yes we still have no exact idea why#I am still of the opinion that Vox clocked Val first in terms of the alliance (for whatever reason known to man)#And Val still till this day has no fuckin clue how he managed to score him and is just winging shit as he goes along#this is until proven otherwise by canon ofc but still#No I do not know why I am doing a character analysis of Hazbin Hotel of all things but here we are#still sincerely curious as to where their bond came from though#yknow outside of physical attraction and shared business ideals#the only semi logical explanation I have currently is that Valentino still unapologetically thinks of himself as hot shit despite being#yknow#Valentino#which makes him the antithesis of Vox's fragile ego and blatant insecurities#(and therefor invertedly gives Vox personal gratification for being able to dominate him and control him)#The other possibility was narcissism but that theory is mostly scrapped now the more I watch his interactions with Val in ep2#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel vox#voxval#staticmoth#hazbin hotel shitposts#anyone willing to respond to please feel free to do so btw been thinking abt this pairing for quite a while#I think they work very interestingly as a villain couple#I want Valentino to light vox on fire and dance with him while they burn
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(zelda comic rough draft)
im still unable to draw anything ... except for really slowly getting the chapter 2 rough draft further for some reason, another screenshot from page 59
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#tloz#loz#demise#hylia#wip#now its almost the entire page i posted#but i dont think i need to keep any secrets ...#until this scene is painted i might have gone through 3 style changes again anyway lol#none of my test readers have been responding for a while#i worry not only about them but also about the comic ;O;#but i dont want to seem pushy or pressuring so im just kinda waiting nervously but patient bc they probably have better things to do#when im running low on motivation i tend to screenshot wips in hopes of getting a little bit of it back#and i havent been able to do anything else really#so ........................ q-q#even those wonky centaur sketches havent really done anything for me which is sad bc the idea itself is pretty cool#anyway i really like that first demise panel there#perhaps hes having a little too much fun fighting hylia considering shes still very much intending to seal him at some point#idk if its even clear whats happening .. much less without context xD
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Going to college as a nontraditional student with an office job is kinda funny bc now when a professor messes things up in a way that fucks me over instead of being like "omg this authority figure is so unfair 😭" I'm approaching it more with the vibe of like "if Karen from Accounting doesn't fix this mistake that's hindering my work after my third passive aggressive email I'm going to CC her boss"
#my professor has multiple things messed up on her online course that are actively preventing me from preparing for the midterm exam#1. the notes she uploaded for last weeks lesson are in an unviewable format (its a .bin file? she converted an image to binary code??)#2. she hasnt uploaded the content for this weeks lesson yet. and that content is going to be tested on the midterm#3. both her syllabus and the review guide she uploaded mention a pre-midterm test thats worth 2% of our grade#and i think is supposed to help us prepare. but she hasnt uploaded that or even mentioned it at all?#4. the exam itself isnt in blackboard yet. which wouldnt really be a cause for alarm if it was any other professor#i would just assume they were probably waiting to upload it until the day of the exam#but given everything else shes messed up so far im worried she messed something up with that too and it wont get uploaded at all#so. she said in the syllabus that we should message her directly in blackboard with any questions and she'll respond within 48 hours#but my first message was sent on friday. it is now tuesday#she said to send a follow up if she doesnt respond within 48 hours. i sent a follow up yesterday morning and she still hasnt responded#and im not going to wait another 48 hours when the exam is in 3 days and she still hasnt even uploaded the final lesson that will be on it#so. shes getting a text from me at the phone number she listed now like#if she doesnt respond to that within a few hours then i might call#and if she doesnt respond to THAT then im going to put it in an email and CC the head of her department or smth#bc we NEED to be able to prepare for the midterm. its THIS WEEK. some people are actually scheduled only TWO days from now#its already bullshit that shes including this lesson on the midterm when the due date for it is AFTER the exam#but then shes also THREE DAYS LATE (so far) uploading it??#AND she hasnt uploaded the pre-test or even mentioned it at all???#rambling#this professor is gonna get a BAD review from me man#its already bad enough that her online course is structured so poorly that its hard to even tell what we should be doing each week#and now this shit
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thought of a prompt that might be fun for you:) assign any motogp riders of your choice (or maybe even entire rivalries if you want) a classical piece of music
ahaha anon not only would this be fun for me - this is something I have put enough thought into that I already have notes for several of these and like... an entire quite long spotify playlist for classical music that reminds me of casey specifically. I'm going to go for quality over quantity here and give you one pick each for three rivalries. none of these picks are... the height of originality and I'm sure they might feel a bit hackneyed to the connoisseur lol. but well, sometimes pieces are popular for a reason
first off, the sete/valentino rivalry. this pick also works for valentino's arc in general 2003-04, but it fits particularly well to this rivalry
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berlioz! the unorthodox rebel, the ambitious and controversial revolutionary. a delightful curiosity to his experimentation, an eccentricity and willingness to push the bounds of what was acceptable in his music - as well as a certain enjoyment of the macabre
berlioz as a composer gives me valentino vibes in general and I could have gone for another work here ('damnation of faust' has obvious relevancy to the sete/valentino situation) - but here I've opted for one of berlioz's most well-known works. his symphonie fantastique. the video above should start at the fifth and last movement, 'dream of a witches' sabbath', which is the most weird and fun and works so well for the sete/vale rivalry. however, I'd definitely encourage you to listen to the whole thing - if nothing else, to hear the innocent version of the melody that eventually is so perverted
the symphonie fantastique is a piece of program music, which means it uses solely instrumental music to tell the listener a story. in this case, it's a (loosely autobiographical) story of a bloke who falls desperately in love with a woman and does some opium before eventually ending up at a witches' orgy, where the woman he's in love with is having a lovely time. here's a slightly better summary:
the movements are tied together by an idée fixe - this recurring musical motif used as a way of representing the woman the artist is in love with, the object of obsession... a melody he hears everywhere he goes. the first movement starts so gently, with so much promise - daydreams, passions as the artist first lays eyes on his love. which is how, after a long slow build-up, the idée fixe is introduced: sweet and brightly romantic. light and breezy - but also with a real passion injected in its wake. it livens up the music with its presence. the next movement, a waltz, followed by a third gentle pastoral movement. and then, the dream is transformed into a nightmare with the fourth movement's 'march to the scaffold' as the artist poisons himself and suffers from hallucinations. has he killed his lover? perhaps by being responsible for her receiving a back-of-the-grid penalty? or was it all just an illusion? and then, finally, comes the infamous witches' sabbath. here is berlioz's description of the fifth movement:
in a way, it's almost cheating using a piece of music that directly tells a story. but, well, how can you resist! the story of sete and valentino is the story of a friendship twisted by rivalry, of an innocent camaraderie turned sour - until from one day to the next, sete turned around to look at someone he was so insistent was a 'good man' and could no longer see his friend at all. perhaps a monster. perhaps a witch
the whole thing is fittingly gothic for sete/vale. who doesn't love a good witch's curse, right. again, I would recommend the whole thing - in particular the fourth movement where the artist is marched to his grave - but for now we're focusing on the fifth movement. by this point, the 'beloved melody' of the previous movements (the idée fixe) has been twisted, perverted. no longer is it 'noble' or 'shy'... it enters the movement as a silly, jaunty tune that almost immediately manages to summon the entire orchestral hordes of hell upon the listener's head. silly, yes, but capable of remarkable feats of malice - as it cheerily ushers in the funeral bells. valentino's journey from 2003 to 2004 is a form of self-actualisation, leaving honda to strike his own path and control his destiny. to sete, by the end he has been transformed - gone is the cheerful friend, now sete has to deal with the monster. valentino had already shown prior to 2004 that he was capable of both joy and cruelty, but here he marries the two: he uses his silly little celebrations to directly mock and humiliate sete. the face of the artist's lover might remain the same, but now she joins the diabolical orgy to roars of delight. maybe she even leads it
listen to the music, to its whimsy - the imitation of laughter, the 'strange sounds', disjointed, until the idée fixe comes through. in all its energy, that jaunty jig... you can hear something a little mocking in that, how it cannot even take its macabre surroundings seriously. cheerily chaotic, wild in its unrestrained swing. brimming with malice. the ominous chime of the funeral bells... and yet you never quite lose the frenetic, silly energy that keeps the piece moving. the curse strikes, sete's career dies a painful death and the music keeps flowing. the crescendo to reach the depths of hell is both violent and triumphant... depending on whether you are the artist or the witch. there is a pleasing surrealism to this musical landscape that suits the sete/vale rivalry. like that rivalry, it starts in what feels like a normal place but becomes far more bizarre, more cruel - strange and sudden enough it really must have felt to sete like he had suddenly been trapped in a nightmare. he thought he had known the rules of engagement. he had been wrong
berlioz was hardly a universally beloved composer - with one contemporary describing his music as 'the work of a tipsy chimpanzee'. some other remarks:
isn't there something compelling about that willingness to dispense with self-seriousness? berlioz might have been clownish but at least he was doing something interesting. this is a pick that suits valentino because berlioz suits valentino. there is a power to whimsy that berlioz embraced - and sometimes, genius is more important than talent. berlioz's idée fixe becomes no less beautiful for the corruption it undergoes over the course of the symphonie fantastique. and what's so wrong about witches' orgies anyway?
moving on to valentino/casey. I do feel like this is a. very basic pick. but I'm SORRY I do associate it with them, sue me
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you can't go wrong with beethoven, can you. and for these two... a proper duet is only right. so we're going for beethoven's ninth violin sonata, the famous kreutzer sonata. specifically the first movement, and if you only listen to one movement then make it that one - but as above, of course I'd recommend listening to the whole work
said first movement starts out gently enough, two voices testing each other out before they lock horns. soon enough the music develops into a ferocious competition between the violin and the piano, both vying for supremacy. you may note that this piece is called a violin sonata and you'd really expect the piano to have more of an accompanying role - but instead the two parts are unusually well-balanced, both giving as good as they get. fitting! whichever way round you want to play it... perhaps it's all about casey refusing to accept his role as a background character in motogp, as anything other than the protagonist. announcing his arrival to the top of the sport in fiercely determined fashion at the start of 2007 and refusing to budge since then. or perhaps it's about valentino not accepting the role of second fiddle to his hungry young challenger - he will not countenance being replaced just yet. this is a rivalry about defiance. this piece is plenty defiant
the kreutzer sonata also happens to have a troubled composition history, which adds rather nicely to how well this piece fits the pair of them on a meta-level. here's a piece on the topic that details how beethoven initially composed the piece for a lovely new violinist friend who he then fell out with --
-- except kreutzer, the guy beethoven then dedicated the sonata to, fucking HATED the piece and never played it (hey, look, there's berlioz again) --
-- and I'm sorry. I'm not assigning anyone specific characters here, but this story just has a vale/casey vibe somehow. the pettiness of it all... there's something of casey in beethoven's temper - a heartfelt dedication removed after a quarrel, a championship shirt that bears valentino's name before casey furiously disavows him. but you can also find hints of casey in kreutzer's unimpressed dismissal... a man who saw one of beethoven's most beloved works as amateurish and didn't deign to play it himself. except now he's stuck forevermore with his name associated with that piece - something poetic about that, isn't there? we've got some proper characters here
another thing that works on a meta level: the first movement really is the best. I like the other movements just fine - but (as the piece I linked to details) the three movements feel disconnected, with beethoven semi-plagiarising himself for the third and using a half-finished sketch for the second because he was rushing for a deadline. the casey/vale rivalry peters out pretty sharpish after 2008 for various reasons - which gives you that slightly frustrated feel that the narrative arc which reached its climax at laguna 2008 was never quite completed. there's still a loping grace to the latter two movements... the gentle, near playful ribbing of the second - not absent of tension - that meanders delicately to a conclusion... the manic energy of the third, neither party willing to relent as they continue to trade blows - vivacious in its chaos. just like the abysmal bickering of vale/casey's 2010-12 dynamic, it lacks the narrative genius of the first act... but it's not without its merits. at the very least, it's plenty of fun
one more bit of the work's history worth bringing up - the tolstoy short story about a guy who kills his wife because of how she performed the kreutzer sonata with another man
so, as you see, it's so powerful a piece you could kill someone over it. that's how closely the work connects the two duellists - it's a passion and an intimacy formed in close combat. a unique bond between the two performers... if they are perfectly matched, there's nothing quite like the magic they can produce
and it's that daring, suspenseful beauty to the first movement that so evokes this specific rivalry. two voices testing each other every step of the way - the broiling tension of the first few exchanges preceding the explosion of bright noise and colour. when the music builds into a furious contest, think about laguna in valentino's determination and casey's rage and their mutual refusal to yield to the other. this is stubborn music. neither party can ever back down. and the thing about violins, they sure can yearn. for all its antagonism, perhaps the voice of the violin is longing for something unattainable... something impossible. casey never entirely got over his early hero worship of valentino - he might have hated valentino, but he never could quite stop himself from liking him. even as the violin challenges the piano - the pluck of the strings in feisty counterpoint to the voice that should have been its accompaniment - it would be impossible to conceal the emotional depths of the violin's cry. it's a duet that mixes aggression and melancholy and hope... it wouldn't be anywhere close to as compelling if it were just one thing
this duet needs true equals who manage to both compete and compliment each other. both parts play fully realised melodies beautiful in isolation that together still manage to be more than the sum of their parts - because sometimes, rivalry makes both sides better. sometimes it is only by hearing both voices that their brilliance can be truly appreciated. sometimes both sides push each other to new heights because that's the only way they can keep up with each other. the kreutzer is defiant - but it is also endlessly demanding. and it will not allow either side to let up
last but not least, a piece for the marc/valentino rivalry
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here, we go to sibelius and his violin concerto in d minor - the only concerto he ever composed, one of a kind and thus impossible to take for granted. again, my recommendation for the purposes of this post is the first movement - and again I'd encourage you to listen to the complete piece. hey, did you know that sibelius had to give up on his dreams to be a violinist in his twenties due to a shoulder injury? perhaps that explains why he wanted to compose a piece for a true virtuoso... a piece that throws the hardest stuff you can possibly demand at the violinist and then some. it requires a dazzling technical mastery of the violinist - one voice that stands out clearly against the full might of the orchestra
this is another work with a troubled history. its composition followed a difficult period for sibelius (who suffered from depression and alcoholism for much of his life) - he composed this concerto once he'd picked himself up from rock bottom
the concerto was originally dedicated to violinist burmester who was supposed to play it for the premiere in berlin... but in the end, the premier was in helsinki - making use of a violin teacher instead who supposedly played the piece poorly, and the first performance was not a success. sibelius heavily revised the piece. when the berlin premiere eventually happened, burmester apparently got offended by them using someone else (from andrew barnett's book about sibelius):
in danger of over-exposure, eh
speaking of that young hungarian violinist: he wasn't just 'young' he was really young. a proper child prodigy
so then, a piece sibelius was himself not able to perform, with the leading role granted to a child prodigy. you see where I'm going with this... perhaps there's something appropriate to marc following the notes that valentino had already penned, right. the marc/valentino rivalry is inevitably heavily preoccupied with the frailties of ageing, with the existential agony caused by loss of youth, yearning after what was once possible and will never be again. it is a rivalry of sliding doors - an age gap that should have been to immense to allow for competition at all, its very existence was improbable. the sliding doors just about made it possible for them to fight but also made that fight limited... it was too late for valentino to compete fully against marc. but sibelius never lost his love for the violin and found new ways of expressing that love - and valentino, too, can never walk away entirely from motogp
the first movement starts off with an achingly romantic violin melody. it has such heart and such vigour, it captures the attention, it is alone at the top - but eventually the second melody sets in, darker, brooding, as the tension builds. the music is caught between the soaring heights of what could be and the creeping horror of what will come to pass. the orchestra heralds the storm clouds as they begin to encroach upon the scene... eventually, the movement reaches its climax as the violin cries out, by itself, in the cadenza. even as the violinist recaptures the initial romantic melody in the midst of a frenzied display of technical mastery and excess, the melancholy of the movement's ending feels inevitable
the marc/vale rivalry is narratively structured like a tragedy - one that feels both inevitable on a grand scale but deeply avoidable in its specifics. a conflict that both felt like it had to happen but didn't need to happen like that. this music is uncompromising as it reaches that very same conclusion... it never loses its heart even as it descends into fury. the second movement that follows it is slower, sad and poignant, the aftermath of the sorrow - while the third is warmer, more energetic, a flurry of the violinist to show off every virtuoso skill imaginable in service of some chance at emotional release. blindingly brilliant
one thing about sibelius - he's very effective at establishing a mood. at setting the tone. he's got the drama, he's got the terseness, he knows how to stress you out and make you sit with that tension. and really, that's what the marc/valentino rivalry is all about... something that lingers. an open wound. the genius of the composer and the virtuosity of the violinist come together to provide a way of expressing that lasting pain. the result is uncompromising from start to finish
#im doing just these three now because. niche. but anon i am very get-able with this type of ask you can keep getting me#i love talking about music like i will gladly pump out recs with tenuous links to motogp riders/rivalries#these three were already very much in my head. hence the swift response#//#brr brr#//ht#//curst#//it#//st#batsplat responds
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experiencing the horrors . save me lil guy from comic book. lil guy from comic book PLEASE
#rimi talks#genuinely kind of sad/upset i wont be able to do more than 1 MAYBE 2 fics for superfam week#bc this whole week and last week have been taken up by health bullshit and all i want ot do is sleep#i had plans. i had outlines. unfortunately i also had my stupid body betray me and now here we are :(#i had a doctors appt yesterday. and the day before. and i have one monday and one more that i haven't scheduled yet#i am. so tired y'all#and im extra tired of being in pain all the time. i have been in constant pain since wednesday at noon#it's a little funny i was texting my friend abt steel '94 and there is a timestamp visible for when i stopped responding#bc i was suddenly in too much pain to put words in order or even sit up straight at my laptop lmao#and luckily it HAS gone down like im not in so much pain i genuinely can't breathe anymore. no longer feel like im in danger of passing out#but i do still feel pretty damn bad and im so tired of it aouhghuhgghghhhhhhhhhh#comic book man save me (he can't bc i can't even fuckign write?? what's the POINT)
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You know, when I started this faux Minthara origin, I really did it for the screenshot potential so that I didn't have to keep janking around with the game to get Minthara as the lead. So, I didn't really come up with any backstory as to why she ended up on the Nautiloid and not within the ranks of the Absolute. But having the two Minthara's finally meet, it's almost surreal. It's almost as if she cannot recognize herself or what she has been made to become. She is looking at herself, but only sees someone who is dead inside. The horror of witnessing what could have happened to her are all flashing in her eyes, and she realizes how lucky she is that it wasn't *her*. Minthara is a very self reflective person and she makes minor adjustments within herself according to the situation. And in this bizarro universe where there are two different versions of her coexisting, how deeply would that self-reflection go if it didn't happen at all?


Minthara already goes through an incredible journey. Of disengaging from the gods, deconstructing her world view and Lolthite cultural practices, looking inward and deciding to live and be devoted for herself, realizing that there are some costs to power not worth paying, and that there are some things more important than power. She does not make much progress by the end of the game. To her credit, 200 years of religious, cultural, and social torment cannot be undone overnight and she needs time. But she goes on that journey because of what happened to her in the Absolute and because Lolth abandoned her.
So my biggest question on this faux Minthara origin is who would Minthara be if none of that ever happened to her. If she still had Lolth's favor and Lolth never abandoned her, and she remained as a fully devoted servant of Lolth. That she is still deadset on destroying the Absolute in the name of Lolth and never strays from that initial goal. That the temptation of becoming the Absolute never gets to her and claiming it for herself never crosses her mind. Where there is no desperation because she doesn't have a tadpole. What choices would she make and why? Who would she ally with and why? How much would she still adhere to Lolthite rules and customs, even while out of the Underdark?
How much influence would the companions have over Minthara? Watching them on their journeys and watching them go through their struggles? Would she still come to want to disengage in the gods, or will it only confirm her world view? That the only path to glory is to follow the path the gods place before you. If Lolth never abandons her, will she ever abandon Lolth or turn against her? Seeing all of her companions being abused by various gods, gods who had once expressed love for the companions, would Minthara ever come to doubt or question the love Lolth claims to have for her?
How much influence would canon Minthara have on the companions, if she did not go on her canon journey? She wants Shadowheart to become a Dark Justiciar for the power. But a Lolth-sworn Minthara would probably tell Shadowheart to become a Dark Justiciar to honor her god, as Minthara is doing the same now for Lolth. And what of Gale? Would a Lolth-sworn Minthara tell Gale to give into Mystra's demands as that is what a servant of any god is expected to do? Would she get angrier at Lae'zel's rebellion against Vlaakith, seeing it as a blasphemy to openly speak ill against one's god?

And then of course, Daedra. A cleric of Lolth and former Priestess, who remembers absolutely nothing of Lolthite expectations and cultural burdens. A drow who does not act like your typical drow because she does not remember what is actually expected of a drow. A drow who has no ambition, a drow who has no desire for power, a drow who wears her heart on her sleeve and is very emotionally expressive, a drow who is very clingy and openly affectionate, a drow who cries (and she cries a lot), a drow who does not like rules and expectations and is more likely to set shit on fire than do what she's told.
Before, Minthara never really challenged Daedra for not acting like a typical drow because she herself was already disengaging from Lolth and all her expectations. And to a degree, she was part envious of Daedra for not having the same cultural burdens she has, but also found it liberating as it meant Daedra won't punish or judge her if she decided to unburden herself. Not only that, Minthara had formerly challenged Daedra on her faith in Lolth because Lolth abandoned her. But this time, Minthara still very much adheres to these customs and might challenge Daedra for not living up to those expectations. How much of an influence will a fully faithful Lolth-sworn Minthara have on a blank slate Daedra? And would they still enter into a relationship if Minthara constantly told her all the right and wrong ways to behave? Cause I fear Minthara would look at Daedra as someone who needs to be "corrected", and Daedra will not respond well to that and will challenge Minthara on it every step of the way. Unless Minthara can find a way to do it subtly in which it is more like providing guidance and wisdom, rather than enforcing strict expectations.
This is a Daedra who does not really believe in Lolth, but sees her as a method of control over her urges. Her faith is really only surface deep. But a paladin of Lolth can make that faith go much deeper for her to where it could become genuine. If she encourages Daedra to fully embrace Lolth, would she suddenly turn around and tell Daedra to embrace Bhaal instead when the time comes? Probably the most conflicting question, honestly. Minthara really only sees the appeal in wanting to worship Bhaal because Lolth abandoned her and she is on the rebound for a new god. So would Bhaal still be appealing if she is still faithful to Lolth? Or would she tell Daedra to reject Bhaal, reject the Slayer, reject her birthright, and embrace Lolth instead? Because otherwise, Minthara would be advocating for Lolth to lose a cleric and a Priestess which is a big no-no. But would her love for Daedra, her wanting Daedra to be the strongest and most powerful she can be, still lead to Minthara advocating for Daedra to embrace Bhaal? Would Minthara choose to reject Lolth for Daedra so Daedra can embrace Bhaal? Would a fully Lolth-sworn Minthara still get upset and threaten to breakup if Daedra rejects Bhaal? How would Bhaal killing Daedra on the spot for her rejection impact Minthara's faith and adherence to Lolth? I've got so many questions to explore now!
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#OC: Daedra#i can't believe i turned my joke of a run into a legitimate RP experience AGAIN#cause now i really need to know how differently daedra would become if minthara was a much heavier pro-Lolth influence#but i feel like this is my ultimate test to determine how well i know minthara#i already know who daedra is and i know how she is going to respond given these changes in minthara's origin#but i really gotta think how the whole conversation will go down between minthara and daedra about whether or not to embrace bhaal#and what minthara would say in regards to lolth and if her love for daedra would still come to blind her about the dangers of bhaal#(and no - minthara will not be able to convince daedra to accept bhaal. daedra ALWAYS rejects bhaal)
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hey bestie!!! just wanted to say i absolutely love your art style! it’s gorgeous. do u have a main account where we can support more of your art? (i tried to find it but didn’t)
Thank you!! Right now I’m just posting on this blog and on my Reddit account (delightfulmochas). But thank you for asking!! I might set up a general art account in the future—if that happens I’ll post about it here!!
#ask#anonymous#i have quite a few asks in my inbox right now and i’m not sure if i’ll be able to respond to all of them in a timely manner#i’m in the middle of a pretty busy few weeks :o#but i think i’ll keep some of the sweet ones in the box#if i need a quick pick me up with some nice words#i appreciate everyone sending their compliments in there!!#thank you very much 😊❤️
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i get so uncomfortable when coworkers tell me they're reading my body language or interpreting my facial expressions. like. don't you have anything better to do. leave me alone.
#i'll concede that there are some expressions that are most likely representing a certain emotion or reaction#but it's weird to me to suggest that you can read nonverbal communication like it's an exact precise language#like if i'm grimacing in a meeting it's probably a headache not a reaction to what someone said#and it feels almost...dismissive of my interiority? to suggest that i made x expression and that automatically means i feel y#that people are machines who always respond to an input the same way?#also in my experience the people who claim to be the best at reading people are. not in tune with reality#my former boss always bragged about being able to read people soooo well and a lot of those people hated her#and have told me that now that we don't work with her anymore
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hiii can i ask what ur usual writing process is and what inspires you? your blurbs and writing in general is very inspiring and makes me want to write smth myself but i'm drawing blanks
It's one thing to be told you're a great writer and it's another thing to be told your writing is inspiring. This is so sweet, I needed a moment to process.
The majority of my writing is a product of a certain idea I want to convey about the characters. An extension of ideas I have about how they behave, think, or even exist, that I think would be interesting to explore through writing. The conception of an idea is the most abstract part of the process for me, because it is very random. Inspiration can really strike at any time, but I think already having your own thoroughly developed ideas about the characters you're writing about helps. It allows you to form connections to things which may seem irrelevant, but end up being really concrete ideas to start writing from. It also helps with integrating little details about behavior and dialogue that really add to the overall emotions of the writing. Headcanons and analysis are a great place to start for this (anything that helps you fully flesh the characters out more really). To be honest, a headcanon is the most simple piece of narrative based on your own understanding of a character, knowingly or not, which also just makes it a great way to get into writing too! If you have a headcanon, try developing that idea into writing, either a full-length piece or blurb.
Another great place to really start, especially with blurbs, is trying to vividly imagine any scene you’d want to see the character in. Really imagine the little actions, details, and all the emotional undertones, and letting yourself sit down to just let it pour out of you onto the page. Be self-indulgent, write what excites you if nothing else. It’s a really easy way to actually take the first step into writing, and you can always revisit these scenes to integrate them into a larger work if it feels fitting!
Now if you do want to start with something longer, I think allowing yourself to fully sit with the idea is the best thing you can do. Just letting yourself explore every possibility you could take a story eventually guides you to the best way to do it. I try to visualize scenes in depth and outline general ideas, filling in details and playing them out in my head to see if it really contributes to the larger emotions and ideas I want to convey. To sound completely like a literature professor, knowing exactly where you want your writing to go before you start makes it much easier to actually write. The words will come once you’re ready.
I hope this makes sense! Like I said finding inspiration is an abstract process for me, but these are some of things which are usually floating around my head when an idea comes to me. And frankly, as mystified as writing feels, I know the more you do it the easier it becomes, so I hope you do start!! If you have any other questions or ever need someone to discuss an idea with, I'm always here :)
#ask#i met jhumpa lahiri in 2023 and was able to tell her that her writing made me want to write#which she responded with try#so now i am passing that advice to you :)#diyacore
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Explaining autistic nonverbal episodes/verbal shutdowns to people who don’t know about it is actually so difficult bc they’re like what do you mean you just. can’t talk?? I don’t know!! It just happens sometimes
#you’d think saying you just can’t talk would be it#but no#bc they’re like what is it like?#uhh idk how to describe it??#distressing?? scary?? like you have so many things you want to say but just can’t#and I don’t know why either; I wish I did#and especially when people ask you why you aren’t talking right now during one and you don’t know how to respond#whatever#autism#autistic#nonverbal episode#verbal shutdown#actually autistic#I’m normally able to talk I just sometimes can’t
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surgery leave finally okayed!!!!
#BIG BIG SIGH OF RELIEF#my boss is just sometimes bad at responding to messages#and it stresses me the fuck out because i have the Overthinking Brain which Definitely Got Worse Recently#but i'm in the clear and i should be able to have a stress free recovery week#thank god#starting off the new year strong with some relieving news#it was highly unlikely it would be bad news! i just. get stressed.#I just feel so incredibly trivial and replaceable in all arenas of my life right now#it's shaking my confidence a bit#i'll work thru it though! getting there#this year is the year i really figure out how to internalize that one saying#'a man who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary'#the whole worrying= suffering twice if it goes wrong but not worrying = only suffering once or not at all#it's really hard to try and find the healthy medium between being smart and prepared....#and not needlessly worrying over all the ways things could go wrong#personal stuff#i will beat my brain into submission so help me god..... i do not want to be hindered by anxiety and insecurities any longer#annoyingly 2 things i had under control mostly but sometimes just gotta re-learn stuff
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