#AND THEN I DIDNT QUEUE HER FOR TODAY

[graedari]

Jordan Canas-Flynn, you were a plot device character created for Legacy, but god dammit if that doesn't make you my favorite character now

[Image ID in alt]

[divinemanicstate]

.

[a9saga]

rina sawayama - akasaka sad // it's about damn time i get into rina sawayama

[peterparkersnose]

Give In

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: suicidal thoughts, pining possibly one sided, ANGST (just a large angst piece, i wanted some joel angst so I made it), description of depression, emotional dependency on a person, arguing, fluff sprinkled in, implied age gap not specified, reference to pregnancy, mentions of substance and alcohol abuse, joel is lowkey toxic and uses reader

a/n hi loves I wrote this after the first episode aired, so if anything contradicts anything in the future in this story that is why. also, i didnt know how to end it so im sorry if the ending is a bit choppy. happy last of us sunday!

summary Y/N has feelings for Joel that she can’t control anymore

Part 2 here

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 8 min 33 seconds

The harsh chill of the autumn afternoon swept your hair off your shoulders. The ration line was as long as ever, but seemed to be moving quickly. A stray dog barked as others murmured on the street. Staring down at your boots, you bit at your chapped lips.

“You’ve been avoiding me,”

His voice sent chills up your spine. He was behind you, must have slipped in line without the other person noticing. Of course now was the time he decided to confront you. And he wasn’t wrong.

Straightening your back, you turn towards him.

“Have I?” you asked, raising your eyebrows slightly. The line moved forward and so did you.

“Tess said you weren’t feeling well.”

She was partially right. It was the blatant lie you were telling the very few who were close to you. You were physically fine.

“I’m fine, Joel.” you said promptly, turning a cold shoulder to the older man.

“If you need any meds or anything…” he began. You knew Joel had anything you needed. Quite literally.

“Next!” The FEDRA soldier called, motioning for you to get in the final line. You gave Joel a tight lipped smile before disappearing in the crowd.

Back at your sad excuse for an apartment, you poked your fork at your stale meal. You tried to think about todays’s job but the thought of Joel Miller consumed you.

How his hands felt on your skin, how soft his hair could be, how much he respected you in private. Flashbacks of previous nights where he had snuck over and stayed with you burned in your brain.

You never thought the hookup would turn in to feelings. Especially in this world. Feelings you were sure he wouldn’t reciprocate. Joel wasn’t a very emotionally available man. And he had Tess- rumors of them being together had been going on for years. Sure, they deny it. But you see the way he looks at her sometimes. His eyes burn with the lust you want from him, but there staring at her.

Tess was friendly and all, you got along quite well with her in fact. Jobs worked with Tess usually went better than others. But the knowledge that she goes home to him every night almost ate you alive. You felt used every time you would watch her turn the alleyway to their apartment.

Roommates my ass.

It had been over a month since the last time you saw Joel.

He was right, you were avoiding him. Taking the jobs you knew he wouldn’t dare go by such as childcare. Taking a different route home to avoid any run ins. Leaving your lights off and sitting in the dark to possibly deter him away from your place. All your little queues worked.

And the pain grew day by day.

You layed in your mattress with your face buried in your pillow. It stopped smelling like him weeks ago, but you liked to pretend it still did.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

Pills weren’t numbing enough. Alcohol wasn’t as fun as it used to be. The constant state of depression in this damned district was enough to make you want to end it.

But seeing him across the alleyway talking to a group of people or in the line for rations was enough to keep that tiny spark lit inside of you.

There wasn’t much else to look forward to in this world besides others. Living the same day your whole life is miserable without your spark of joy in it.

Sleep was close, you could feel it. Your thin blankets were just cutting it for the night. As the dreams began to dance in your head, you were awoken by a quiet knock on your door.

“For fucks sake,” you groaned, flipping over in bed. You ignored the knocks. They became more persistent.

The old doorknob then dropped to the floor, startling you awake. You didn’t even have to guess who it was. The door slowly creaked open as you heard him curse to himself.

“I’ll fix it later,” he sighed, picking it off your floor and placing it on your countertop. He pushed one of your folding chairs next to your table up against the door to keep it sturdy.

“So your just breaking into apartments now?” you snapped, sitting up right in bed. “I needed to see you.” he protested.

“I never knew Joel Miller to need anything.”

He sighed and rested against your countertop. “I need to know,”

“Know what?” you asked, wrapping a blanket around your exposed shoulders. A tank top wasn’t ideal to sleep in, in these conditions.

“What’s wrong.” he said bluntly. “I said there’s nothing wrong. What the hell are you doing walking around freely at night?” you yelled, realizing the time was way past midnight. The sounds of soldiers a few floors down outside your apartment began to yell. How did he move past them?

“You sick?” he asked in a more hushed tone, walking towards you. “Respiratory? Head pain? Joints? You pregnant?” he somewhat joked, looking over you in bed.

“Shut up.” you said coldly. “Can you please just go?”

You knew Joel wasn’t a good listener. “What is it?” he said sternly, sitting down next to your body in bed. He grabbed your wrist ever so slightly. Your pulse was shaking in his grasp.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

You looked at the other side of your apartment, out the window. Rain had began to slowly plague the window. Ignoring Joel’s touch, you watched as the few drops raced to the bottom of the window.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” Joel sighed, not letting go of you.

“Stop, please. J-just stop talking to me.” you said, lying through your teeth. He could sense the pain hiding behind those eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he protested.

“Look at me.”

You turned to face him. His eyes were locked on yours. A genuine worried look was on his face. He looked softer, nothing like you had ever seen before.

It was almost as if someone asked you if you were okay when you were very obviously not. Silent tears rolled down your face as you tried to catch your breathe.

The man who you couldn’t love was staring in to your soul. There was no way you ever could love him. He was too mean, too stern, too old, too angry for you. The two of you were polar opposites. But as the saying goes, ‘opposites attract’.

Joel was unsure on what to do. Tess never cried. Hell, you never cried. He racked his brain for something, just something to soothe you.

He offered out a hand. Against your better judgement you took it. Connecting his other hand to your cheek, he tried to wipe away the streak of tears silently leaving your eyes. He held you tightly in your bed, stroking your hair as your head quickly made contact with the crook of his neck.

“I wish I didn’t have these feelings,” you cried into his embrace. Joel was confused on what you were getting at, but he ignored it. He tried to shush you in a soothing way.

“No, please. I wish I didn’t have these feelings… but I do.”

Joel froze. “What?” he asked, holding you in place.

You pulled back and looked at him. It felt like the first time over again. “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel a thing.” you hiccupped.

“I…” Joel sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and letting a breathe of air go.

“Say it.” you demanded.

The silence in the room was deafening.

“I can’t.” Joel said quickly. He looked down at his knees on your mattress.

“I think you should go.” you sighed, laying back on your side and facing the opposite wall.

He listened. Finally, Joel caught a hint. The sound of him walking away made you long for him more than ever. But it was good. The feeling of him leaving, knowing you were right. Joel Miller wasn’t a man who could love. At least not anymore.

Your sudden pride stopped when you heard his boots thud against the floor. Then the all familiar zip of his jeans followed by the hit of him placing them on your wooden chair next to your bed.

He rested a hand on your thigh as he peeled up the blanket that was stuck to your legs. Slowly, he moved down next to you in the tiny space you were leaving him.

“You don’t listen.” you huffed, still not giving him enough space on the bed.

“When do I ever?” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist.

Fuck it. You gave in.

You allowed his arm to move closer to the underside of your breasts. Scooting over in bed, you gave him more space for his legs to entwine with you. His boxer’s material rubbed against the back of your thigh. It smelt like him; Wet grass and expired generic soap scent had never smelt better.

Sleep kindly greeted you once you felt his breathing slow. Trying to match his, you fell into the deep sleep you had been yearning for, for what seemed like weeks.

-

The absence in the morning was startling.

You struggled to move, hoping that the previous night was just a horrifying dream. A sigh escaped from your lips when you saw his boots sitting against the wall where he placed them last night.

The clanking sound of tools made you turn. On the other side of your small studio apartment, there he sat at your doorframe attempting to fix your door handle.

The overcast sky stayed, but you could tell it was early morning by the chatter outside.

“Shit!” Joel hissed, grabbing his finger in pain. “Damn fucking…”

He looked up and noticed you watching him.

“You alright?” you asked, watching him in amusement as he attempted to fix your door.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, sucking the tip of his finger. “Haven’t fixed a door in a good twenty years.” he muttered, wiping off the excess blood on his already dirtied jeans.

“Go back to bed, It’s still early.” he suggested, going through the tiny tool kit he had given you as a previous gift.

“This is more entertaining than sleep,” you chuckled, placing your feet on the cold ground and getting out of bed. “You want any breakfast? I don’t know if I have anything good here but…”

“Nah. Tess’l be expecting me.”

The sheer thought of Tess waiting at their home for him was enough to ruin the whole night you had before.

Joel looked up to you after your lack of a response. He noticed the demeanor change in your face. “Everything okay?” he asked, turning back to the doorknob he was almost finished fixing.

“You seem to go sour every time I mention Tess.”

“I wonder why,” you muttered under your breathe, attempting to open a tuna can for breakfast. You tried not to dry heave as the scent of the old fish met your nose. Tuna was never a favorite meal, especially for breakfast. But, it’s all you had.

Joel pretended like he didn’t hear you, but he heard you loud and clear. “We have a run to do today. You understand that, right?”

A bitter ‘mhm’ came from your lips as you shook the prepackaged coffee in your hand before ripping off the seal.

Joel sighed and placed the screw driver down dramatically. Joel’s knees cracked as he got up from his position. “You always gotta fucking act jealous. Don’t you? Ruinin’ a nice morning.”

“Jealous?” you said, raising your voice.

“What the hell do you even want from me?” you scorned, on the brink of tears. He could see through you like glass. You hated to admit it, but he knew you like the back of his hand.

Joel wished he could shout out the answer, but his ego kept it in.

You froze with your back turned to him and set down the brittle coffee mug. “Your always leaving me to go to her…”

“Because we’re business partners, Y/N. Don’t you get it? Don’t you hate livin’ the same damn day over and over again? It’s why I come to see you.”

“Stop,” you whispered, now face to face with him. “Stop yelling. Please, it’s too fucking early to get into that shit.”

“Really? Tell me you don’t loose your mind living the same day, same drama for years!” he yelled. “Always you being jealous. Don’t you ever get sick of it?”

Anger consumed you. Proof that the two of you would never work. He’s just a bitter old man.

“You know I would give anything to leave this damn QZ! To live a normal life, not fucking be here.” you yelled, with a finger now pointed at his face. You were avoiding the original accusation. Jealousy.

“Tell me.” you said, with a quieter but angrier tone. “Am I really just your fuck toy?”

Joel stepped back for a moment, stunned at what you just said. Guilt seemed to wrack his nerves as the realization hit him.

You were in love with him.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, approaching you with a sorrowful more soft look. “What else am I supposed to think? You come here, use me, and leave and go back to her.”

The feeling of letting go of all that emotion felt healing. The sudden aftermath of realizing what you just had accused him of made you feel somewhat guilty.

“No,” he sighed, grabbing your hand. “That- no. Absolutely not Y/N.”

His other hand reached for your chin, and brought your face up to his gaze. You could feel his heat on your skin.

“Understand…” he began to say. “Understand what?” you whispered back. A sly smile came to his lips.

“Give in,” he whispered, dropping your hand and wrapping his around your waist.

You melted into his grasp as he kissed you. Joel hadn’t kissed anyone in years. The hesitation from him only brought out the dominance in you.

As the two of you mutually pulled away, you wanted nothing more as to be back where you were just seconds ago.

“Understand that it’s hard.” he said, still holding you close. “I…”

“I know.” you said, cutting off his words.

You were an anxious, sorrowful over-thinker and he was the bitter, closed off introvert.

“I’ll be back,” he said, with a slighter more chipper tone. “Tonight. We have to get this damn car battery and…”

“Stay safe,”

“I promise.” Joel said. He really did not want to leave you. The thought of the two of you spending today lazily in bed was very tempting.

“But please believe me Y/N when I say, you are and never have been just a ‘fuck toy’.”

He squeezed your hand once more and then dropped it. Silence filled the apartment after he left.

The thought of how you tasted haunted Joel Miller’s mind the whole day.

Part 2

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25

[bbyobbyo]

Ever since you stopped using his Spotify account in the mornings, you find other ways to mess with your boyfriend.

A short continuation of this fic, but can be read as a standalone.

content: fluff, established relationship, idol!Jihoon, banter, reader and jihoon just have a permanent jam session going on, they’re in love i swear

wc: 857

note: ahhh they’re back!! thank you to everyone who read the first part and gave it love😊 this has been rotting my brain for a while and i originally was playing with this concept for the original but couldn’t pull it together but we’re here now! shoutout to @highvern because it was partly inspired by her fic “Between the Titles” which is such a great read that i highly recommend along with literally everything else she writes!! all the songs featured here are real and from an era of kpop I hold near and dear to my heart so if you recognize any of them, you’re a real one 🥰

Jihoon is not a morning person, never has been. As he sits in the dressing room of the filming studio, he can feel his eyelids getting increasingly heavy. Some of his members are actively sleeping, in fact, and Jihoon knows he’ll be joining them soon if Wonwoo takes any longer in that makeup chair.

Blasting in his ears is his usual Bruno Mars playlist, a sad attempt to try to recover his energy before he knocks out next to Mingyu sleeping on a mat on the floor, but to no avail because his mind slowly slips away until a piercing airhorn noise jolts him awake.

SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN NEOWANA SAI E

Uhh. This was definitely not his Daily Bruno Mars Mix.

He immediately searches his screen to find out what happened when he finds his answer in the form of a text from you.

[8:18 am] good morning sleepyhead :)

[8:18 am] hope I didnt scare you too bad :)

He scrunches his face up in disbelief, half amused that you managed to catch him off guard with possibly the most annoying wake up song on Seventeen’s discography, and half annoyed at the realization that he must’ve forgotten to cancel your Spotify Jam session from yesterday.

He decides to leave your text on read. After all, he has plenty of time to be petty today. Furiously searching through his library, he queues up a song and before Mingyu can finish singing the first chorus, he smashes the next track button in smug anticipation.

Now Playing: Fxxk U • Gain, Bumkey

And he doesn’t have to wait long before he gets your reply.

[8:20 am] oh i see how it is

Now Playing: This is War • MBLAQ

If Jihoon wasn’t awake before, he definitely is now. Even as he gets called in to do his makeup next, he thinks carefully about his next move.

Now Playing: LOSER • BIGBANG

…

Now Playing: WHO, YOU? • G-DRAGON

An audible scoffs escapes from his lips as he involuntarily tilts his head back in amusement, much to the dismay of his makeup artist who had just started on his foundation. He mutters a shy sorry before resuming his search for a reply. Maybe he needs to take a different approach to this if he hopes to continue having Jam sessions with you in the future.

Now Playing: Whatcha Doin’ Today • 4Minute

As Jihoon eventually discovers, his hopes to change the topic of conversation were in vain as two songs were suddenly queued one after another.

Now Playing: Why Don’t You Know • CHUNG HA, Nucksal

Next in Queue: Mind Your Own Business • Ailee

Jihoon thinks he’s met his match, coming to the realization that he could never out sass the love of his life. But he wasn’t willing to back down so easily either.

Now Playing: I’m so sick • Apink

Next in Queue: Because of you • After School

Your next move nearly sends him to tears.

Now Playing: Excuse Me • AOA

Next in Queue: You Don’t Love Me • Spica

Next in Queue: I ain’t going home tonight • Navi, Geeks

Next in Queue: I Don’t Need a Man • miss A

As he chuckles to himself for what seems like the hundredth time this morning, this newfound form of entertainment suddenly becomes incredibly precious. Although you see each other nearly every day, Jihoon realizes just how much he misses you, talking to you about everything and nothing at all, bantering like you’ve known each other for your entire lives.

Now Playing: Am I too easy? • U-KISS

...

Now Playing: Mystery • Beast

Even though he couldn’t be with you physically, he knew you were enjoying yourself just as much as him on the other side. He could almost picture your smile of satisfaction as you found your next song, knowing that he would appreciate your humor. And appreciate he did, happily tapping away at his screen until his makeup artist puts on his finishing touches and tells him to call the next member.

Now Playing: Gotta Go • CHUNG HA

Next in Queue: I’m Busy • 2NE1

Next in Queue: Plz Don’t Be Sad • HIGHLIGHT

…

Now Playing: Okay Dokey • MINO, ZICO

Little does he know that his members are in the corner snickering at the sight, knowing that only one thing could have their producer smiling like an idiot at his phone the whole morning.

Soon enough, Jihoon and his members get swept up into their schedule involving the filming of various contents for their Youtube Channel, a task that usually takes the entire day if a game is involved. Thankfully, the game allowed for members to go home early, a rare treat considering how competitive his members can get when it comes to shooting content.

After his usual rounds of “good work everyone” to the company staff and his members, he gets ready to see the person who been on his mind (and in his ears) since the morning. Taking out his phone, he queues one last song while exiting the building.

Now Playing: Run to you • SEVENTEEN

[onlyrains]

walk you home .2

pairing: odajima yuken x female reader

warnings: grammar error, lowercase

note: i decided to make part 2, hope you like it <3

part 1 | part 3

days have passed since the last time you met yuken. nothing have changed and nothing special too, you never heard of him again until yesterday sachio brought him up to the conversation when he and yui walked you home.

“when would you come home?” yui's voice caught your attention.

her brother shook his head. “i dont know. yuken have been acting like someone else.”

“yuken?” you asked subconsciously.

sachio turned his head to you. “do you know something, y/n?” he asked.

you shook your head. “no,” you answered softly. you didnt had enough courage to ask any further even though you were dying to know.

“but its not like you cant go home, right? mom worried about you.” yui argued. you couldnt help to fidgeting your sweated fingers.

sachio ran his palm to his sister's hair, comforting. “i need to make sure he didnt do anything stupid, yui.” he said while smiled beautifully.

you heard it clear. what kind of ‘anything’ was it?

“what do you mean anything stupid, sachio-san?” you asked doubtly.

“he fought with high school Z few days ago. he seems so resentful.”

“by himself?” you couldnt hide your expression.

“by himself.” sachio affirmed. “he was not like this.” he added. he sounded so confused.

and today, after sawamura and yui walked you home, you made your way to a mini market nearby. you thought you need something sweet to drink to distracted you from your own curiosity.

you were drowned in your mind when you tried to picked your drink. thoughts full of the person who walked you home a few days ago and then he suddenly had fought high school Z’s bastards? unbelievable.

you grabbed a strawberry flavored soda in the middle row.

“i prefer the lemon one,” you heard someone talking right behind you.

quickly, you turned your body 180 degree to faced him and you were right. you knew it was him. you knew his voice.

“odajima-san?” you gasped covering your mouth with your palm.

a huge smile appeared on his face. “hi,” he greeted with both hands on his pocket.

and that was the first time you received a greeting with a big-big smile like that. though you couldnt decide if it was a warm or a flirty smile.

“you surprised me!” you blurted.

he clapped once then spread his arms. “surprise!” he exclaimed.

“what are you doing here?” you asked still confused.

“i saw you entered this store alone. where is yui and sawamura?” he raised one eyebrow and somehow you felt intimidated.

you closed the refrigerator behind you. “i was with them but suddenly i want something to drink.” you smiled innocently, showing your straight teeth.

“okay, then,” his eyes landed on your chest where you hold your soda.

“just that?” he asked. you nodded twice.

“okay, let's go, i'll accompany you home.”

you let him pushed your back gently without a word and he followed behind you to the cashier.

you almost got there but then your eyes met someone's in the queue. your reflex made you turned very quick and crashed yuken's body.

he placed his palm on your back and rubbed it before he asked, “something's wrong?”

you looked up to him slowly. “its them—cashier,” you almost trembled, not only worried about yourself but about what yuken would do too.

“ah, them?” he pointed at the high school Z boys without hesitation. “mhm..” you hummed.

“Oi!” he shouted and caught people's attention. you turned making him stood behind you.

they walked towards you and smirked. “you have someone now, huh?” the tall one recognized you so well.

“was he not there that day?” yuken asked the other two guys. “no.” one of them answered.

“you better tell him and make sure he shuts his mouth up before i do.” yuken leaned forward and place his chin on your left shoulder. “my hands tried not to leave my pocket this time.” he continued.

you could feel his breath in your neck for a moment, sending chills on your spine.

without a single word, they left with their stuff unpaid and you breathe as much as you could possibly do. “its fine now, you dont need to be scared like that.”

“you make me scared!” you shrieked spontaneously.

“me?” he pointed himself in disbelief. “why?”

“i thought you were going to do something to them.”

“i did something.”

“i mean physically.”

he smirked. “eh, you worried now?”

you chuckled in annoyance. “you did something to them a few days ago, right? what did you do?” you asked with a stern voice.

he laughed lightly and couldnt help to ruffled your hair. “you are really cute when you try to intimidate me, you know that?”

you swore to god your heart was about to burst but your brain said no. with all your strength, you tried to keep your threatening face and stared at him. “i wasnt joking, odajima-san.”

he chuckled, still. “i gave them a little lesson.”

“what kind of lesson?”

“my favorite lesson.”

“what is it?”

“oh, you want to know more about me?”

you sighed. you couldnt deal with him.

“let's go home.” you walked ahead of him to the cashier.

he stared at your back and smiled before join you in the queue.

at least he knows that you are safe now.

[rottmnt-background-screenshots]

HEY HI I JUST REALISED SOMETHING TODAY [<- watched the first 4 minutes of the rottmnt movie in 0.25 speed] THAT I THINK MIGHTVE BEEN OBVIOUS BUT IDK

SO LIKE

Ive always noticed the bat but what i did nOT NOTICED WAS HER DEAD FUCKING BODY SLIGHTLY TO THE RIGHT????? LIKE WAHT???? WHAT HAPPENED THERE? THEY DIDNT EVEN BURY HER?? AND SHES REASONABLY CLOSE TO MIKEYS BIG MYSTIC THING SO THEY MUSTVE LOST HER RECENTLY

and another thing

can i just point out how incredibly accurate mikey is?? like all these dogs are incredibly far away and on differnet levels/places he could not possibly see [at least not all at once] and he just,, wipes them all out in one fell swoop!! maybe something to do with how his eyes are glowing is helping him see more?? like maybe that black and white shot with only his chains and the enemies was mikey vision for the moment??? bro im making shit up at this point lol.

idk i just thought these details were cool + up your alley!

Oh yeah, I actually have a post about seeing April in my queue haha :') yeah I imagine the movie starts at the end of a battle that has probably been going on for days, they likely recently lost a lot of people.

Also, yes. Mikey became *terrifying* like, he's got so much power and is so cool! And those shots of his power flashing the color out of the frames are so cool!

[visualnovelboyfriend]

mutual 1: has anyone seen my nipple piercings in the last half hour. no? heres another pic everyone

mutual 2: [describing what sounds like a shitpost as if its a personal story but as you read sentence by sentence you slowly realize its just describihg a canon scene in zero escape] ...and thats why this game is so good

mutual 3: #furry art #queued

mutual 4: [low res picture of an old man] houuuuhhhhg i need him

mutual 5: Everyone STOP. look at spiderman :)

mutual 6: someone keep that old man away from mutual 4

mutual 7: HIII EVERYONE lesbian crush update!!! ❤️ so earlier her tongue was down my throat but idk i still think its in a friendly way,

mutual 8: if youre high then check THIS out: [picture of a flaming skull under a readmore]

mutual 9: someone call mutual 6 homophobic for standing between gay lovers

mutual 10: [pvp game youve never seen before with so many effects and noises in the video that you cant tell whats going on] got play by finally being made shotcaller and getting my throwing team to focus their support. my ult totally countered their tanks and got a team wipe but we still lost because my jaggio didnt use his primary even fucking once and let their flocker get the rez which made us c9. dogshit game im uninstalling

mutual 11: Could I Interest You In A Cool Bug In These Trying Times?

mutual 12: [the most breathtaking snippet of writing youve ever seen that makes you sit and think about your own identity] why do i even bother writing =_=

mutual 13: i need to milk him.

mutual 14: playing jaggio in open queue today :3 gonna just use my secondary and see what happens

mutual 15: can you believe what happened in this manhwa. i skipped a chapter and now hes getting a fucking abortion?

[garciaasfluffypen]

bright beginnings pt 7.

pairing: single dad!joseph quinn x fem!reader  wc: 1.5k  warnings: none

part six • part eight

a/n: IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT NOTICE THIS WENT INTO THE BOTTOM OF MY QUEUE BECAUSE MY DUMBASS DIDNT SCHEDULE THE POST anyway enjoy a joe pov as a lil treat

being holed up in an office all day was not something joseph anthony francis quinn had figured would be in his books. but he found himself taking over the daycare he had devoted his life to, making it his lifes mission to revamp it from the inside out and make it better.

from his short time as owner, there were a gazzilion things he would like to change, including some staffing issues that were bothering him. out of the ten girls that worked there, y/n, destiny and claire were the three girls who were full time, meaning that they got the bulk of the hours. that had to change. there were two girls who dropped, saying they didn't have time to work much due to university, which left eight girls left to work. meaning if he split all the bulk of the hours with the three full timers… that left the part time girls jack shit. he felt horrible only giving some of the girls only ten hours a week, but there was only so much he could do without making more of them full time. he had been stuck in the office for about three hours now trying different versions of the schedule to figure out what would make the girls happy. bringing the full timers down from 45 to 32 opened up a chunk of hours he could divvy out between the other girls based on their availability, which could make it a bit easier. four of the eight girls had tight schedules due to uni, meaning he could potentially get a few more girls who were requesting more hours the hours they wanted.

but that was a headache for another day.

shutting his laptop, joe decided to step out into the playroom, where y/n was in charge of today. it was his idea to start having the girls rotate through the rooms, so that way all the kids could get acclimated to each staff member in case there needed to be any sort of coverage. so far, it seemed to be working well, especially because the twins started to open up to a few of the other girls rather than just sticking to y/n’s side all day. granted, days in the playroom were the harder days, because all riley and thomas wanted to do was play with her. it’s what started joe talking to them every day before coming in to remind them that yes, you can play with y/n but you need to let the other boys and girls play with her too. it went well for approximately five minutes before he realized they were wholeheartedly attached to her, and by god if he didn’t do something about it the twins would hate him forever.

he had to admit, she was cute. if it wasn’t for him being caught up in a messy divorce, he totally would have already asked you out on a date. but he had to hold himself off, knowing that julia would one hundred percent use that against him because that’s the kind of person she was. he didn’t know why they had even gotten together in the first place, not counting the fact that she wanted to appease her mother. set-up relationships never ended up working well, he found, and most of them reminded him of HR relationships- the ones you could always tell were fake. the ones that made people think love was real, only to shatter them to pieces when it came out that surprise, your faves weren’t actually together.

love was most definitely not that. and not what he had with julia.

before he could go down that wormhole again, his phone buzzed.

[ grace!! - 3:30pm ] joeee what are you doing tonight???? i miss youuuuuu

grace was one of his best friends from school. he and wesley had taken her under their wing the second she stepped into LAMDA, and the three of them had become inseparable. she had moved to london from america to pursue acting, considering it was one of the best acting schools in the world. joe definitely missed being on stage, but he had made the promise to himself that he would make more of an effort to provide for his kids, since acting could wait until they were a bit older.

[ 3:31pm ] do you miss me, or miss the kids? lol [ grace!! - 3:32pm ] obviously you, you’re my bestie! [ grace!! - 3:32pm ] but seriously what are you doing, rehearsal was canceled tonight [ 3:33pm ] not much, probably watching frozen with the kids and trying to avoid watching steve and maggie. you wanna pop over for tea? xx [ grace!! - 3:33pm ] is that even a question??? i’ll be there at five :)

looking over at the clock, joe figured he could pop out to the floor for about an hour before taking the twins home. saturdays were pretty light if he were being honest, so it probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he left a few hours earlier. most of the kids were gone by six anyway, so him leaving an hour early shouldn’t be horrid.

and then he could talk about his crush on y/n.

grace was there through the whole julia ordeal, meaning she knew all the ups and downs and the ahem “marriage” that julia’s mother basically shoved down joe’s throat, placing the ring in his hand and telling him to “get a goddamn move on”. yes, the loves of his life came out of it, but he hated julia and her dramatics and the need to make the divorce so much more than it needed to be. it was driving him up the walls, including the stupid custody agreement they were working on. he was doing his best to keep a level head, but it was getting to the point where he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. but grace was the level headedness he needed, always helping him figure everything out with wording and when to meet with lawyers and everything. she was definitely a light in his life, and he loved her to bits.

but his real loving nature was saved for y/n.

not that she’d ever get with him. he could always pretend that she was indeed flirting back with him. because while he really liked her, he was her boss. there were so many issues with that. but he also owned the daycare. and they didn’t have an HR person because it was a mom and pop shop. hell, he literally runs the facebook page. he could do whatever he wanted, right? … right?

“daddy!”

joe held his arms out as riley and thomas ran up to him, almost tackling him to the ground with their combined force.

“my angels! how has your day been?”

riley looked up at joe with her adorable little doe eyes. “daddy come play?”

“i gotta go talk to some of the lovely ladies a bit, but then we’re gonna go see grace!”

“grace comin?”

“yes, grace is coming for tea.”

out of the corner of his eye, joe noticed y/n turn away and start picking up in the playroom, trying to busy herself and not pay attention to the conversation. of course he would go and mention grace in front of her, after flirting with her so openly. just his fucking luck.

“grace bring wes?” thomas’ face lit up in excitement at the idea of two of his favorite people coming over.

“wes is at work, bub. he’ll come tomorrow, okay?”

“otay.”

“let me go say hi to the girls before we pop out, okay? go play with the toys.”

as joe rose from his crouching position, he noticed that y/n was stuck in the storage closet. stupidly, he decided to go around to all the other classrooms before coming back to the playroom to check on her before they popped out. the other girls were doing okay, which was good to hear. everything seemed to be going good since the rotation started, and it was showing. he stepped back into the playroom to gather riley and thomas, noticing that destiny was in, y/n being nowhere in sight. upsetting as that was for him, he did promise the kids that he would get them home to see grace. and besides, he really needed to talk to someone about his crush on y/n.

the ride home wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, and the twins were relatively quiet but bubbling with excitement as they got closer and closer to the flat. soon as they saw grace’s car in the driveway, they started giggling and screaming, and joe couldn’t help but chuckle. grace held out her arms as the kids ran into them, picking them both up with ease and swinging around in a circle. she smiled at joe as he grabbed the bags from the passenger seat and took them inside, setting stuff down in the front room and taking them all into the kitchen to get the tea ready.

“so, who is she?”

“what?”

“you only wear your nice shirt anywhere when there’s someone you want to impress.” grace raised an eyebrow. “so who are you trying to impress, joe?”

joe sighed. “we’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

“oh, i bet.”

[temporarymoods]

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate

[dinopant]

You were written up for telling a swiftie to not play her Taylor Playlist?? Please tell that story, that's so wild sjfbjsbd

DSJKGHKJD

it really wasnt anything big or special honestly

but uh, the day the taylor swift playlist got re-added aback to the starbucks radio rotation

my coworker who looOOVES Taylor Swift, spent the whole day repeatably turning the radio back to the taylor swift playlist, for out ENTIRE shift. Telling everyone around her all the taylor swift trivia she knew about every song

i didnt say anything! its not a big deal, i think its annoying but whatever. i have bigger fish to fry and care about.

BUT, that same day I was just informed my car was beyond help and was not drivable, so i was without a car

fucking sucks, but i was taking it in strides, as it was all I could do. Be a big boy and just deal

but i go back in two days later, tired, the car stress has started to actually settle in, and its a the day starbucks is doing their stupid half price all ice drinks and its so fucking busy

im really not feelin it! i really didnt want to be there but, sucks to suck, get through the day

but uh, i was like

i wanna do something nice for me! im gonna turn the 80s playlist on, its my favorite

so i queue up the 80s to play

and my Swiftie coworker, who didnt see me do this, had no idea i had just selected a playlist

overrides that choice and put the taylor swift playlist on again

long story short, I told her in qoute 'I cant take anymore taylor swift, i cant fucking take it today'

a bit too loud, a bit too venomous and on the floor in front of customers

i immediately left the bar and went to the bathroom to cry and calm down, realizing i was in no shape to talk to others without being rude. I asked my coworker to come to the back so i may apologize for my behavior, for like. 10 minutes.

and i got someone to cover my shift and i went home unable to continue my shift in my state.

In my YEARS of working, i have never snapped at anyone, or had to leave work early. its just not something iv done and i know i was in the wrong

anyways, that coworker despite everything still went to our store manager to tell her what happen and that 'i know this isnt Sammi's normal behavior, but he made me uncomfortable'

so in short, i was written up for a single moment of rudeness toward the Swiftie at work after she wouldnt stop playing tayolor swift music nonstop.

[lunawlw]

i havent been on here lately since i have been using twitter to keep up with information. my blogs have been on queue but i of course reblog things when im back here to spread help/info.

i keep checking twitter to see if the palestinain people that i follow are still alive. reporters, doctors, any palestinian person just hoping to see that they are still alive.

ive been thinking about noury and her mother and hoping they are alive. ive been thinking about the multiple tweets where reporters and doctors are fearing that today might be their last day alive. ive been thinking about every person ive seen in videos. ive been thinking about every person i havent seen in videos.

ive been thinking about the missing and the murdered people who are beyond recognition of when they were alive where we dont know their names and stories.

ive been thinking about the doctors who reported surrounded by dead bodies. ive been thinking about children who spoke in english to the world begging to let them live. ive been thinking about the babies who didnt even make it to a year old.

i see a child and i think of the children of palestine without parents, who dont know their names, who are being starved, who are dying in the cold and the bombings and the snipers. i think of the 9 year old palestinian child who reports the genocide of her people instead of playing pretend with her friends in a safe home.

like a post ive seen before: i drink and i think of palestinians who have no water and are dying from thirst. i eat and i think of palestinians who are being starved to death. i feel cold and i think of palestinians who are dying from cold with no home to return to.

[meatriarch]

im otherwise gonna be rather behind the scenes today w/ drafts once im a little more awake & then the inbox call in the queue too but bc this is on the mind rn,

i can see victoria getting her own like. talk/radio show or some shit down the line and probably the biggest slap in the face is her ( arguably unknowingly but ) letting ramon ( mr flores ) on that show to yap abt how it is being the father of a missing person and all the turmoil that brings as if he didnt walk out of the flores' girls' lives years before-

.

[blackkatmagic]

I just wanted to say I havent been on tumblr much recently, and when I was I didnt you see you on my dash. I thought to myself "oh no kats left tumblr!!! where do i find her now?!?!" but i got on today and here you are! ive been folloiwng i think since the time you were updating reverse so its nice to see you still around <3

I'm on Tumblr most days, and even when I'm not, my queue should still be posting. ^^

[agayconcept]

hi hello i woke up to an emaillllllllll

guess it sent thru their automatic system bc i got it way outside of business hours which is why i'd stopped checking and didnt see it till today

point is APPARENTLY

IT WORKED. THE NEW DR IS GONNA GHOST-RUN MY HRT THRU THE CRAP DR UNTIL THE NEW YEAR WHEN I CAN TRANSFER MY TREATMENT TO HER OFFICE INSTEAD

it listed the next 3 dates n times they could fit me in (bc its literally a 15-20 min appt max so its nbd *angrily side eyes them for lying and telling me no slots would be available for weeks*) and ONE IS ON MONDAY. THIS MONDAY. 48 HOURS FROM NOW.

it says i have to call as soon as they open monday to claim a slot and if by then it's not available anymore then i'll have to pick a different one but i am gonna be the FIRST mf-ing person on that fuckin phone queue u bet ur ass

cause oh my god. first of all ???? YES, I AM, HOPEFULLY MOST LIKELY GETTING MY FULL HRT STARTED THIS WEEK. 🎉

second of all??? IT WOULD BE SO FUCKING COOL / FUNNY / ON BRAND IF MY OFFICIAL HRT START DATE/ANNIVERSARY WAS ON HALLOWEEN. THAT WOULD BE JUST. SO GOOD LMAO

idk so there's the update y'all. i should hopefully be starting treatment this week thanks to this new doctor's persistence and support. i'm very relieved, esp knowing its just for a few appts until the new year when i can switch over. fuck yes.

(for the inevitable question: no this doesnt erase the legal issues and report being done on my drs office. that will be ongoing. theyre also still witholding other things i need and denying me other services. BUT this?? this they cannae ignore any longer bc now multiple other drs, offices, legal reps and outreach workers have kept their phones ringing off the hook. wouldnt be surprised if the reason theyre giving in now is just to stop me & my backup from annoying the absolute shit out of them tbh. ah well idc why as long as it happens.)

anyway. time for happy dance? yes? lets make it seasonally appropriate

[soft-deceitful-wiles]

IMPORTANT PSA FOR MY LOVELY FOLLOWERS

Doubt anyones gonna read but whatever...

so, since now its a pretty strong possibility ive lost my oldest and only remaining irl friend (my bff since we where 14 to be exact, we are 30, living prrtty far but relationship hasnt changed in 11 years mostly apart) or at the very least ive damaged our relationship INCREDIBLY

and all because of her ashole, conceited, full of himself boyfriend that i can't stand, accusing me of something i didnt do without even considering any other possibility (cause fuck presumption of inocense apparently?)

and her trying to pacify the situation, and by doing so basically putting herself on his side, and this knowing full well my current mental health state (mandated medical leave due to extreme depression, eating dissorder, high stress levels and extreme anxiety, being heavily medicated) and she's defending/excusing his behaviour after his selfish actions/words about some UNIMPORTANT BULLSHIT (this is all... Prepare yourself... About a piece of costume, a vest, i borrowed from him like 5/6 years ago AT LEAST to make patters out of and he thinks i still have it but i can't find it and im pretty sure i give it back... But he says no cause he can't find it... So its only possible I lost it... He's God's perfect creation an could NEVER have made such a mistake...

And i was already looking into btw even tho hes not my friend and i HATE HIM, cause my BFF already had asked me, but he felt the need to push me AGAIN last night AT 1AM (very polite, writing someone you dont talk to in the middle of the night without kmowing if youll wake them...) insisting about it and making me feel even more guily when he has NO BUSINESS talking to me... We are NOT FRIENS...

he gave me a panic attack last night, barely slept and I've had to overmedicate today to stop from loosing my shit altogether...

Which has never happened like this before...

I right now currently have exactly 0 percent to loose, thanks, you son of a fucking turd pile that thinks himself the best most specialest boy ever...

So, i have more than 600 posts on queue (more people should use it tbh), set to 50 a day, so you will keep seeing me for a while, is just not "me, me".

I'll probably be gone after today. Don't know if ill be coming back this time... dont think so tho

Not that anyone here fucking cares 😂 i just thought it polite so say.

The few notes i usually get (if ANY) on my own posts are pity likes from mutuals 😂 (and even those are appreciated, guys❤️)

But hey, dont say i went without saying goodbye!

You wont notice my absence (like the few days i suddenly stopped posting this past week, and i didnt even had the queue), but ill sure miss seeing you in my dash. Wish i could have tall to you more ❤️

TLDR: my life is shit, i had little, now i dont even had the only good constant in my life since before my mom died (i was 14) who is my bff. Its all asshole boyfriend of bff. Can't do anything cause i love her too much to cause her any pain, so i cant escalate and fuck him up as soon as i seen him like id love to...

So im giving up, starting by abandoning this hellsite (beloved) and abandoning myself to ALL the drugs (legal or not) that i can get my hands on that make me numb until hopefully i get to die all chill during the high of my life... Here's hoping🤞