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demonvibez · 9 months

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The Book Club

Characters: Satan x F! Reader ( x Asmo ) Rating: Mature [Minors DNI] Word Count: 2.5k+ Tags: smut, public sex, unprotected sex, cock warming, exhibitionism/voyeurism, masturbation, oral sex, threesome, cum in mouth + vagina, female body parts, they/them pronouns for reader, mam and levi are briefly in the story but are not involved in this smut (sry loves) A/N: just an idea that popped into my head and took off! also! highly recommmend the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde. I haven't read it in forever so I'm gonna give it a reread, but you should check it out if you can. Anyways, pls enjoy ♡

It wasn't unusual for you and Satan to hang out in the House library and read together. Whether it was for educational purposes, or simply recreational, the two of you loved being in the library. So much so that, if his brothers needed to find one of you, they would often only need look in the there. Typically the two of you took to Satan's bedroom for your more intimate affairs, keeping your sexual adventures together private. This evening, however, you had something else in mind.

There you both sit on the plush purple couch, the fire roaring in front of you two. You sit perched in Satan's lap as he has one arm around your waist, the other hand holding his copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray for you to read aloud. A soft, fuzzy blanket is draped across the two of you, concealing the fact that Satan's throbbing cock is fully sheathed inside of your tight, wet pussy. The two of you wanted to relax while you read, and nothing is more relaxing to Satan than having his cock warmed by you while reading a nice book. Cuddling with you in his lap while your warmth squeezes around him, the fire crackling in the background with the gentle melody of your voice reading to him - Satan has never been to the Celestial Realm, but he'd be willing to argue that this is better. As you shift slightly in his lap to flip the page forward, Satan can't help but to let out a tiny groan, his cock twitching inside of you. You feel so good wrapped around him, it took every ounce of self restraint not to just throw the book down and fuck into you right now.

"Careful, kitten," he whispers in your ear, "if we get too heated, we may have to-" Just as Satan was finishing his sentence, the library doors burst open. In through the door Mammon comes rushing, already arguing with Leviathan and Asmodeus who are walking in behind him. Asmodeus is wearing an annoyed expression, clearly in disagreement with Mammon, while Leviathan seems barely interested and is playing his handheld console. You could feel Satan tense up beneath you - his lime green finger tips digging into your hip, his expression stoic and expressionless. You knew Satan well enough to know that this was the calm before the storm.

"Oi, human! I've been lookin' for ya! Settle this argument we're havin'," Mammon shouts as he approaches the two of you.

"Seriously, Mammon? You really think they're gonna approve of such a stupid scheme? You're such an idiot," says Asmodeus, rolling his eyes as he stands next to Mammon with a hand on his hip. Leviathan leans against one of the study tables, his eyes still focused on his game.

"Yeah, Mammon. They're not gonna tell you anything different from us," he says without looking up. Mammon has a betrayed look on his face, turning to plead his case to you. Before Mammon can even begin to explain, Satan interjects.

"Not even a single fucking word Mammon, the answer is no."

"LOL!"

"But ya didn't even-"

"I said no, Mammon. We don't want to fucking hear it. I've known you my entire life. I know the kinds of schemes you concoct, I know that you want to drag my human into it and ultimately leave them with the mess. I don't care what it is - the answer is NO." You could feel Satan's wrath building up from his side of the pact. The two of you were supposed to be having a nice, relaxing, intimate evening, and the last thing you wanted was for Satan to fly into a fit of rage. The situation needed to be diffused before it reached a flashing point, and there was no one better in all three realms to soothe the situation than you. You squeeze your walls around him, reminding him of the situation you are in. A small gasp escapes Satan's lips, a hint of surprise in his emerald green eyes. You move your hand to gently stroke his golden blonde hair, the wrath you felt building up starting to ease. Satan's eyes can't help but to flutter closed at all of the different sensations, and as you continue to stroke his hair, you turn to address Mammon and his other brothers.

"Hey! Whaddaya mean by your hum-"

"Mammon, sweetheart," you cut him off, "I know you probably think you have a good plan...but whatever it is, if this many people are telling you it's a bad idea, it probably is."

"But-"

"No buts. You know in the end you're just gonna get strung up from the ceiling again. Now, if you will excuse us, we were busy reading Oscar Wilde before the three of you interrupted," you said, turning your attention back to the book and ultimately trying to get your evening back on the rails. You feel Satan's cock twitch inside of you once again as you take the book from his hand, forcing you to bite your bottom lip.

"Tch, whatever. Who even cares, I've got tons of other ideas," Mammon says as he sulks his way out the library door. Leviathan pushes off the table, also making his exit as he simultaneously continues on with his current in-game mission. The only brother that still remains is Asmodeus. He remains stood across from the two of you, a hint of suspicion on his face as he watches you. Unbeknownst to you, he had been observing you both since he entered the room. The obvious lust lingering in the air upon his arrival, and again a few moments ago, had been enough to keep him curious about what you two are really up to. Folding his arms across his chest, Asmo is determined to get to the bottom of this.

"Reading...sure..." he says, an eyebrow raised, clearly implying that the two of you are hiding something.

"Clearly, we are reading. We're in the middle of The Picture of Dorian Gray, a novel you would probably do well to read. Now, I don't know what you think we're doing Asmo, but why don't yo-"

"You know exactly what I am implying, big brother," he remarks, a sinister smirk on his face. "Or have you forgotten I'm the Avatar of Lust?" At the mention of lust, Satan can feel you clench around him and hold on. His breathing hitches yet again, his heart racing right along with yours, at the prospect that Lust itself has caught you in the act. "Did you think you two could hide this from me? Such blatant lust right in front of me," he says in a lightly mocking tone. You look over to Satan to see his cheeks dusted with blush and his eyes avoiding the both of you. You can feel yourself dripping down his hard length in anticipation of what could possibly happen next - whatever it is, the haze of lust grows in your mind, and you're just hoping to get some relief. It's hard to even focus on what the two demons in the room are talking about when all you can think about is your growing desire to just start bouncing on Satan's cock. It's not like Asmo would care, right? So tempting...

Before you can even make a decision, Asmo steps forward and reaches down, pulling on the blanket covering the two of you. Satan tries holding on to it but Asmo uses all of his force to pull on it, ripping it away and exposing your little cock warming session.

"I fucking knew it," exclaims Asmodeus, clearly satisfied with the results of his query. He tosses the blanket down on the ground, then goes to sit in one of the reading chairs across from you, his eyes glowing pink and his sinister grin wide. "Oh, don't mind me. Our darling human clearly needs you more right now, dear brother~♡" As much as Satan wanted to protest, he'd have to punish his younger brother later. Neither of you have the resolve to hold back any longer, and if the Avatar of Lust insists on watching, then he better enjoy the damn show. You both knew waiting was apart of the fun of cock warming, but neither of you expected such an agonizing pleasure. You had been carefully rubbing your thighs together, trying to find a small bit of relief, while Satan quite literally bit his tongue to hold in the moans - that was, until, you two had been exposed. To hell with hiding; to hell with waiting. You place your arm on the back of the couch, pushing yourself up and sliding back down Satan's cock. Moans escape from both of your lips in unison, like music to Asmo's ears. He reaches down to undo his belt buckle, the sound of which causing Satan to open his eyes and shoot him an emerald death glare. You can't help but to let out a whine at Satan's lack of attention - you don't give a damn what Asmo is doing, you need Satan to fuck you into the couch, and you need him to do it now. Hearing you whine seemed to have done the trick, because the moment he looks at you and sees the desperate look in your eyes, he starts to thrust up into you.

"Finally," you sigh happily, relieved to finally be properly taking the cock you've been craving since he slid himself into you. As you bounce on Satan's lap, your eyes flutter closed, your hand clenching into the back of the couch as the other grips one of your breasts through your shirt. You open your eyes momentarily to see that Asmodeus has taken his cock out of his pants, and is now stroking it while watching the two of you over on the couch. 'Fuck,' you think to yourself, feeling yourself get even wetter at the sight. The pace of Satan's thrusts picks up as he reaches down in front of you to toy at your swollen clitoris, a jolt of pleasure being sent through your entire body at the moment of contact.

"Fuck...yes kitten, just like that. So good for me," Satan praises as he continues to fuck you towards your first orgasm. As Asmodeus watches the Avatar of Wrath pound into your needy hole, he did his best to match the pace of his brother's thrusts with his own hand. He'd love to be the one passionately fucking you right now, but he'll settle for watching you as long as you get pleasure. Lust being his sin, he is feeding off the two of you right now. Even if you were ordinary he'd be soaking it in - but you're his darling human and he is simply obsessed with your pleasure. You have no idea how gorgeous you look to him right now - how amazing you look when you wear his sin on your face, the gorgeous way your voice reverberates off the walls when you moan. You truly are a work of art ~ ♡

The three of you moan in harmony as you continue to make your way towards the peak of your first orgasm. Satan continues to pump into you at an unwavering pace as he massages your sex, and you can feel yourself finally being pushed over the edge of your first orgasm. A warm tingle spreads over your entire body, your moans becoming erratic and your eyes rolling into the back of your head as Satan continues on, overstimulating you in the best of ways. You ride the high of your climax until you come down, Satan slowing the pace of his thrusts to allow you to catch your breath.

A few moments later, you feel both of his hands clasp your hips, and suddenly he's bending you over the arm of the sofa. He begins driving his hips into you, hitting spots inside of you that no one else has before. He fucks into you at a steady pace, moans and whimpers spilling from your lips with each thrust, and in your mind's lustful haze you swear you can see fireworks. In the midst of it all, Asmodeus spots an opportunity for himself. With his own throbbing cock still in his hand, he stands up and makes his way over to your side of the couch. With his free hand, he cups your cheek, stroking your bottom lip with his thumb as he strokes himself.

"Darling, you look absolutely delectable. May I? Please~?" he asks as he puts the head of his cock near your mouth, looking down at you with pleading eyes. You nod and moan out a 'yes' before he slides himself into your mouth. A sigh of relief and an unrestrained moan fall from Asmo's lips as he feels your soft mouth around his hard shaft. The way Satan is pounding into you from behind creates enough momentum to fuck you onto Asmo's cock for him - all he has to do is watch, and he is simply entranced by you. He pushes your hair back out of your face, cupping the back of your head gently as he watches you. The way you're looking up at him as you suck his cock is enough to make him wanna bust alone, and that's without taking into consideration the way it feels when you moan against him.

Satan starts to pick up the pace, feeling his own climax starting to come close. He reaches down to massage your clit once again, his thrusts starting to become harder and more erratic. Your muffled moans grow louder, as does your orgasm once again, as the three of you frantically fuck each other, trying to get each other off. Satan can feel your walls begin to tighten around him, your orgasm being the first to hit it's peak.

"Fuck, yes kitten, cum all over my cock," he says as he pounds away at your increasingly tightening hole, his seed spilling into you after only a few more thrusts. As you moan all over Asmo's cock, he can't help but to thrust his hips into your face, his cum shooting down your throat as he gently moans your name. Asmo pulls out of you immediately after finishing, wiping your face with his thumb to clean up any stray. A few moments later, after catching his breath a little, Satan pulls out of you and quickly fixes his pants. He sits down on the couch and pulls you into his lap, not caring about anything leaking onto him. He wraps his arms around you and you both just sit together, continuing to catch your breaths. Asmodeus breaks the silence.

"I think I'll have to come to book club more often." The three of you erupt into exhausted laughter. Book Club may have to become a regular occurrence - in a more private meeting room, of course.

· demonvibez ♡ 2023 · do not copy, repost or modify · · likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! ♡ ·

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hellsburners · 10 months

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orange juice

summary: you're a new library assistant in an elementary school and you cant help but fall for the cute teacher visiting your desk. pairing: teacher!peter parker x librarian!male reader word count: 2.2k (im being ballsy with these fic lengths its actually fun) warnings: none really more of fluff a/n: was in a fluff writing mood :> (might get a part 2 if it gets received well)

masterlist | more peter parker

You did everything by the book, literally. There was a handbook resting on the front desk of the library with everything you needed to do as an assistant. You took the books back to the shelves and made sure it was in the right order. You tidied up the library computers making sure every unit was logged off and the chairs weren’t a mess. You also took note of orders from the teachers, some lists from Mr. Jones, Mrs. Longford, Mr. Hayward, and Mr. Parker. You stretched your arms and legs, cracked your neck, and gave a little prayer to the universe that you wish your formal first day will be good.

Ding!

The bell on your desk pinged. A man, probably in his early 40s, stood in front of you. He wore a loose shirt with a pale pink tie, his hair was brown and sparse.

“Mr. Parker?”

“I’m sorry, I’m Roy Jones, from the math department,” he responds. You gave an embarrassed oh and gave him his stack of books.

“Sorry, it’s my first day.”

“All good kiddo, you haven’t seen trouble yet, good luck on your first day,” Mr. Jones gave a kind smile before walking away.

By 8:30 am the students came rushing to your door, you logged borrowed books, received returns, you even did the occasional hush to students being loud, it was going smoothly. The kid in front of you was borrowing a copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray, an excellent choice you thought. You scanned the QR code inside the book, logged in the student’s info and you kindly smiled while giving the book away. Hours passed of you sitting around, sipping on an orange juice box. By 11 am at least 3 students were studying.

Ding!

Oh. The man standing in front of you was tall and handsome, probably in his mid-30s, he wore a neat suit in neutral colors, and his brown hair was combed to the side. You placed your juice box down.

“Mr. Hayward?” you traced your fingers on the sticky notes on your desk.

“Parker, Peter Parker,” he replied. Shit, not again.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Parker.” you shook your head.

“First day, huh?” you nodded shamefully. He gave you a cheeky smile.

“Yeah, I’m so sorry,” you took the stack of books with the label Mr. Parker on it. He reached out to take the heavy books, your fingers were slightly touching. Your cheeks warmed from the contact. There was a certain pleasingness in his presence. You scanned the pile trying to spark a conversation. “So you teach physics?”

“Yeah, 8th and 9th actually,” he carries the books in his arms, he may look lean but you could see the way his arms flexed under his suit. “Are you new to the city?”

“Well kinda, I was born here but my family and I moved out when I was 5. I figured coming here in the city could give me more opportunities,” his brows would raise while you talked, making you feel like whatever words came out of your mouth he listened to intently. “How about you? Did you grow up here?”

“I grew up with my aunt, went to Midtown for high school, and Empire State in college. So, yeah, full-time New Yorker here,” he chuckled. “My daughter and I still live in Queens too.”

“Daughter?” you said shockingly. He looked down at his toes, and he laughed again, that soft deep laugh. “Sorry, you don’t look like one”

“I don’t look like a dad?” he said.

“I mean you look pretty young,” you bit the insides of your cheeks. “I’m sorry I must have been taking up too much of your time Mr. Parker, ‘twas a lovely chat though.”

“Oh it’s fine, I’m on lunch break anyway.” you waved him goodbye and he reciprocates the gesture. “By the way, Peter is fine, just Peter.”

He leaves, and you sit back down on your desk, your heart beating a little too fast for your liking. Your knees felt funny like they were going to give out. Oh, god. You were crushing on the physics teacher.

Before your shift ended Mrs. Longford called and said she couldn’t go to the library due to her pregnancy. You gladly said you would deliver her the books instead. On the way to her room, you couldn’t properly find her classroom, they all looked the same to you, so you went one by one, looking through the windows and checking to see if Mrs. Longford was there. By the eighth classroom, you could see him. Not Mrs. Longford, but Peter. He was demonstrating the law of inertia to the class, making a funny action of being hit in the hip by force, and the class laughed. He seems nice, and the students all listened to him, taking in every word of his lesson. It was admirable really, to have such charisma over a bunch of impressionable kids and use it to educate them.

The bell rings, and a swarm of students floods the halls. The books in your arms fall as a student bumps into you. You cursed, bending down to pick them up while a pair of arms reached out to help you. It was Peter, he had ditched the suit jacket at this point, his shirt sleeves rolled up to show his veiny arms.

“Thank you, I was looking for Mrs. Hayward’s classroom and I couldn’t find it,” you hugged the book while Peter carried the other stack.

“Mrs. Hayward’s room is in the other wing. Don’t worry I’ll walk you to it.”

“Oh no, you must have another class, I can find my way.” you try to take the books but he moves away.

“No it’s fine, my day is done. Let me walk you to her room.” he smiles, again, that pretty Peter smile.

On the way to Mrs.Longford’s room, you talked about your education, where you went to high school, and in college, and where you live now. The conversation later went to his daughter, Mayday, named after his aunt who has sadly passed. She was 5 years old and in first grade, a smart girl, he says.

You reached the 3rd door in the left wing. Peter told you that the lady with short hair and red cat-eyed glasses was Mrs.Longford, the baby bump also verified his claim. You knocked, and she waved at you with a smile, you and Peter went in to bring the books. Peter and Mrs. Longford exchanged greetings and talked about an upcoming faculty meeting. You asked Mrs. Longford to sign some papers for the book requests she had made and she obliged.

Peter walked you back to the library. You continued to chat about random things, your favorite food (he was pizza), your favorite color (he was blue), and your favorite movie (his was Interstellar). You unlocked the library and turned the lights back on. You went back to your desk and Peter took a seat at a nearby desk. You stared at him, arms crossed, legs spread.

✎𓇢𓆸

Weeks passed, and Peter had been visiting you in the library. Usually, he’d stay to check student papers or read new scientific publications on the school computers, he was nerdy about stuff like that; but most of the time, he just stayed around to talk to you. He would talk to you about Mayday’s science project, which you helped him come up with. It was an iced tea stand presentation that used butterfly pea flower tea and lemon juice, and it changed the blue liquid to a bright purple. She won a silver prize, Peter says.

Peter had mentioned before that Mayday lives with her mom and that she rarely gets to see her dad. You could see the way the line his mouth would make and how it would frown sometimes when he talked about her. You wanted to give him some piece of comfort, but every time he would smile because it was Mayday, it was his only girl.

You were at your desk enjoying a sandwich with your favorite orange juice box, Peter sat on the floor next to you hidden from anyone who came to the desk. He, too, enjoyed a sandwich you made. You scrolled through your laptop, mainly on the news.

“Hey Pete, have you ever seen Spider-man?” you said, Peter almost choked on his food.

“Spider-man?” He cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I mean you’ve been here your whole life you must’ve seen him right?” you took a sip of your drink. Peter thought long before he answered.

“No, I haven’t,” he whispered.

“Boo! You’re boring,” you threw an eraser at him.

“Hey! It’s not my fault he doesn’t swing by my apartment once in a while.”

“Well, I wish he’d come by mine, take me into his arms as we swing away into the sunset,” you waved your arms around thwipping your hands like Spider-man.

“You’re so silly,” he laughs, he takes a big bite of his sandwich, talking to you while chewing. “You know, Mayday’s been asking about you, she said she wants to thank the guy that helped her come up with her science project.”

“She said that?” you were touched.

“Well, I wanted to invite you, and she told me we haven't celebrated her win so why not invite the guy who helped her,” he finished his sandwich, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “You don’t have to if you’re busy.”

“Friday night right? I’m in.” You smiled.

You knocked at the light blue apartment door, you could hear some ruckus inside. Coming! A man’s voice yells. The doorknob turns and there he was, Peter Parker, dressed in a light gray sweater, the sleeves rolled up, and a red apron. Behind his leg was a little girl with light red hair.

“Hey there, I’m glad you could come. This is Mayday,” she was shy but she gave you a little wave and a hi.

Dinner started in a few. Peter served baked macaroni and a Caesar salad. Mayday brought a plate of cookies she made, without her dad’s help, she said (Peter shook his head). You brought a box of pepperoni pizza as per Mayday's (and Peter’s) request. The three of you talked over dinner about how proud you were about the medal and if she ever needed help you would gladly be there.

After dinner, Peter took the dishes, you went to help but he insisted you not. You were left with Mayday in the living room, she was talking about her favorite book, a book about planets. Venus was her favorite, she says. You began to talk to her about the many books you have on planets in your library and if her dad permitted, you would lend some.

“Do you like dad?” you were surprised.

“Yeah, he’s nice,” you offered her a smile, and she gave you a curious gaze instead.

“Dad is always alone.” you looked back at Peter in the sink, the fabric stretching on his back.

“You’re here,” you stroked her hair. “Your dad always tells me stories about you y’know.”

“But when I’m with Mom he’s all alone.”

“What are you two talking about,” Peter stands above you and Mayday, his hands on his hips.

“We were talking about your hair. Mayday said you’re starting to look like a sasquatch.” Mayday giggles.

A few hours later Peter took Mayday to bed. Mayday hugged you and told you goodnight. You bend down to hug her and she tells you to be Dad’s best friend, always. You were sitting on the couch with your hands on your lap. You looked around the place, filled with books and a bunch of Mayday’s stuff. It seems like Peter just lets her stuff stay there, so as not to forget about her presence. Your eyelids begin to fall as you let out a yawn.

“Sleepy?” he mutters.

“Just a bit. My head is just filled with so many facts about space,” you made a mind-blown gesture, Peter laughs.

“She does that a lot actually.” Peter sits beside you on the couch, keeping his eyes on yours.

“She’s a lovely kid,” you smiled.

“She is,” Peter sank his head on the couch, his eyes closed.

“You think I’m alone?” he frowns. “I heard you two earlier.”

“I don’t think so. You have me,” you mutter. Your hands fall on your sides meeting his. He laces your fingers with his, you could feel the warmth of his palms with your cold ones. He chuckles. “It’s pretty late, maybe you should get some rest too.”

“You’re right, let me bring you home first,” you refused.

“I’d be fine,” you assure him.

You were outside the apartment. Peter was with you in just his flip-flops, his hand never leaving yours. “I had a wonderful night.”

“Me too,’ Peter said, he took his other hand and patted your hair. You looked at him with hooded eyes, his hand falling to your cheek. You inched closer, your face so close to his chest you could smell him, like an ocean breeze. His face gets close to yours, the moment seemingly getting more tense. His thumb rubs your hand, over and over, it calms you. Underneath the moonlight, your lips meet. A tender kiss weeks in the making. Your eyes closed and you lost yourself in him. Your lips leave him a few moments later, a smile plastered on both your faces. You hail a taxi cab and when one comes, you wave him goodbye.

But you swore that night, the moment you entered your apartment, you swore you saw the Spider-man swing by, almost like he was waiting for you to come home.

part two posted here

interactions are greatly appreciated btw if u liked this fic and want more send me a prompt and i'd gladly make something from it :>

#the amazing spiderman #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x male reader #peter parker x reader fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker x male reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker x male reader fluff #spider-man fic #spider-man x reader #spider-man x male reader

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soppybitorag · 7 months

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The Captain as Man, Mirror, and Medals.....

a 🚨Red Lever🚨 meta on The Captain appearing in a mirror (and a cracked one at that) in the opening credits of Ghosts and what that could mean in the context of s5e5 and beyond :-D

What do mirrors symbolise?

Briefly, they outer vs. inner perception; who we are vs. what we let people see/want people to perceive us as. Mirrors Cannot Lie, and thusly expose our reality. Reflections are often said to be a persons True Soul, an idea across many early civilisations. It wasn't reflected light rays hitting your eyeballs, it was you seeing your Soul.

But also, we are 'mirroring' people when we copy them, appearing unoriginal and inauthentic.

Captain as Portrait and Mirror -

Now, ghosts can't see their reflections or be captured on camera/film. We don't see Captain looking *into* the mirror, just what is shown to us: the outer self/controlled perception. Also, the way he is framed makes it look like a portrait, something signifying power, virtue, and importance.

What we *see* is a middle-aged man of supposed stature, with a collection of earned medals (reflected, they'd be the right way round, which they aren't irl).

A soldier.

A Truth, as Mirrors Can't Lie.

Portraits can be twisted, however, such as The Picture of Dorian Gray. In it, Dorian's portrait grows more grotesque because of his sins and vices, whilst retaining his external beauty over many, many years.

Captain, likewise, is forever going to look the age he died, much like how Dorian is forever the age of when he got the portrait made. (Not saying they're similar in personality or really any deeper than that, just thought it note worthy.)

It'd be remiss to forget that in the opening creds, Robin is next to the mirror, flickering a lamp.

He is litterally shedding light on the mirror, implying a deeper meaning/more to be understood about what's there. There's also the fact that the mirror is cracked (cracked? definitely distorted).

Cracked Mirror Symbolism -

Cracked Mirrors can be seen as a form of deception: if distorted they can warp the image presented (even when we expect the truth from them), making things appear closer than they actually are (a common occurance in fairytales, for example), or taller/bigger/wider/fractured.

Some people believe broken mirrors weaken the spirit of a departed person. Oscar Wilde famously used this belief to mark a characters' death in, you guessed it, Dorian Gray.

It's worth noting that Dorian Gray is also the story that led to Wilde's imprisonment for homosexuality.

Cracked Mirrors are notably bad luck in many cultures, too. Romans believed that Gods observed them through mirrors, so breaking them was severing that connection, thusly having the Gods curse you with bad luck.

Ultimately, cracked mirrors present a fractured sense of self, where the inner and the outer are at odds with one another, or there is discontent in one or the other. Perhaps both.

What does this mean for Captain?

Well, we *see* a man of stature/inportance with war medals. Virtuous.

In actuality, the medals were always forever out of his grasp (making things look closer than they are) as he never left Britain, as much as he maybe would have liked to. He stole the medals to deceive the Veterans by façading (being inauthentic/copying/mirroring) as one of them, but bad luck had him put them on clearly wrong to all but him. If he had a mirror, he could've fixed it.

He was most likely one of the lowest ranking people in that room, in a house he once had control over, but no longer did.

Those actions directly led to his death, where he forever is entrapped with and condemned to wear unearned medals.

Of course, he most likely wanted to be perceived as integral/noble by people, but he just wasn't. He thinks himself a coward, wearing a mask, and forever will be. It's no wonder that in his purgatory/button house afterlife, he elects to seek control over how people see him. He's just The Captain.

some extra things I wanna throw in here

Captain died looking into Havers' eyes. He could probably see his own reflection at his end. But at least it was in the eyes of someone who truly knew him and loved him. For him. Told him as much. Because Mirrors Can't Lie.

Also, one way to rid yourself of the bad luck caused by breaking a mirror is, apparently, touching a tombstone with one of the shards and burying it deep down innthe ground where spirits can't find it, at nighttime.

So here are some completely random images.

#captain #bbc ghosts #red lever #ben willbond #the captain #bbc ghosts the captain #bbc ghosts havers #caphavers #capvers #bbc ghosts s5 #bbc ghosts series 5 #bbc ghosts spoilers #bbc ghosts s5 spoilers #bbc ghosts meta #bbc ghosts analysis

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and-claudia · 10 months

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Against All Odds pt.5 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

Warnings: angst, gore, reliving trauma, canon typical violence, IT'S LONG (let me know if I missed any)

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

word count: 8000+ (oopsie)

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a/n at the end, please read and give your feed back in the comments

After running through the rain for a few miles we finally made it far enough to be safe from patrol. We were in what looked like what used to be a barber shop or something. Regardless of what it used to be, now it was our shelter for the night.

“You should get some rest, Ellie. We aren’t making it to the State House tonight.” I said to the young girl.

She eyed Tess and Joel, clearly unsure if she’d be safe lowing her guard after finding out she had been bitten.

“You’ll be safe, I promise.” I tried to reassure her.

She slowly nodded and found herself a dry spot to curl up for the night. Tess and Joel stood on the opposite side of the building. I walked over to them so we could discuss our game plan.

“So, it’s,” I checked my watch, “just passed 2:30 am, sun will be up by around 7:00 ish, we got at least 4 hours for watch. We can each take an hour and 20 minutes.” I suggested.

“I ain’t sleepin’.” Tessl said matter of factly.

“Yeah, me neither. Someone needs to watch the door and someone needs to keep an eye on that kid.” Joel said.

“One: door’s barricaded, ain’t nothing getting in through there. Two: she said that bite is 2 weeks old. She hasn’t gone all crazy yet, she won’t overnight. It’ll be fine.” I tried to argue.

“I don’t trust it. That doesn’t happen, Yn. But I mean if you want to risk yourself and-” I knew he was about to mention the baby but I gave him a pointed look warning him not to, “and sleep,” he corrected himself, “then be my fucking guest.”

I sighed, “Well I am tiered Joel so yeah I think I’ll take the so-called risk.”

I walked away and dropped my bag down to use as a pillow and used Joel’s jacket I took from the apartment to cover my upper body up. Every time I’ve ever slept outside the walls it had always been either with, or at the very least beside Joel as he took his watch shift. So being away from him right now felt strange, even though he was only a few yards away from me. Luckily though I was still tired enough to fall asleep fairly quickly.

Unfortunately, I had only managed to sleep a little over an hour. I tried going back to sleep but it was no use. So, instead, I got up and walked over to Joel and Tess.

“You can go back to sleep.” Joel said quietly.

“I’m fine. If one of you wants to rest for a bit I can take over for one of you.” I offered.

“We’re good.” Tess said, not taking her eyes off the girl.

“Fine.” I sighed and grabbed Joel’s bag.

He never checks the small, inner pocket of his bag and I had gotten into a habit of tucking a small book in there when I could, even if I wasn’t going with them I would still do it. I wasn’t sure if he ever finished reading them or not but he would always return it to me when he got back and had something to say about it.

“What are you doing?” Joel asked.

“Looking for something.”

I didn’t remember him returning the last one I gave him, so I wanted to see if it was still in there. And lucky for me it was. I pulled out an old, slightly faded copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray. Joel gave me a weird look.

“I mean, if you don’t need me to watch anything and I’m not falling back asleep, might as well pass the time some way.”

I took it over to the wall and sat down. Luckily the rain had stopped, giving way to the light of the moon. This gave me just enough light to read in. Despite my efforts, I fell asleep about 30 minutes later and didn’t wake back up until the sun had risen. Sitting against the hard wall like that made my back hurt as I stood up and walked over to put my book back in Joel’s bag.

“Ellie awake yet?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Okay well, I’m going to go find somewhere to pee.” I said before walking off.

When I got back Ellie was now awake and Joel had the rifle he had stolen from the guard pointed at her.

“Show us your arm.” He said.

She sighed before rolling up the sleeve of her jacket, showing the scar from where she had been bitten.

“Yeah, it’s not getting any worse is it?” She sassed.

I walked over and squatted down beside her.

“Can I see it?” I asked.

I didn’t get a good look at it in the chaos last night and wanted to see it for myself. She nodded and held it over to me so I could see it better.

“If we’re in the open city why aren’t we getting swarmed?” She asked, I turned to Joel for him to answer her.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said causing me to roll my eyes.

“Well, I’m gonna.” She sassed.

“We’ll be fine.” I said quietly before letting go of her arm and standing up.

“What was Marlene doing with an infected kid?” Tess asked.

“I’m not infected.” Ellied argued.

I walked over to sit with Joel and Tess, “I mean she’s right. She was bitten but not infected. I know that doesn’t happen but it did… But why were you with Marlene then?”

“She found me after I was bitten.” She explained.

“And she didn’t shoot you?” Joel asked harshly.

“Clearly not.” Ellie snapped back, causing me to fight the urge to snicker at her response before she explained a little more, “She locked me up and her guys test me every day to make sure I wasn’t infected.”

“How did they test you?” I asked before I could process what I was saying.

“They’d make me count to ten then hold my hand out and keep it steady. But you know what I think really impressed them was the fact that I didn’t turn into a fucking monster.”

I nodded, “Fair enough.”

“I gotta pee.” She said going to stand up, but Joel did the same and his grip on the rifle tightened.

“Joel. Let her go. She’s not going anywhere. You heard her, she’s worried about what’s out there.” I said quietly to Joel before turning to her, “Go back there, just find a spot. And here, use this. It’s the best we got. Just tear out a few pages.” I said tossing an old magazine to her.

She caught it and disappeared into one of the small side rooms.

“Nothing’s gonna kill me in here, right?” She called out.

“No, you’re fine. I just went too.” I yelled back.

As Joel sat down, I noticed his right hand was shaking and still bloody from last night.

“Broken?” Tess asked having seen the same thing as me.

“Maye a hairline, it’ll heal fast.” He replied.

“Can I see it?” I asked gently.

“It’s fine.” He said coldly.

“Joel, let me see your fucking hand.” I said, holding mine out for him to put his in.

He sighed but did as I told him. I looked it over, it was defiantly swollen. Luckily it wasn’t too nasty, the rain helped clean it out pretty well last night.

“It’s fairly clean. I’m gonna wrap it for you.” I told him rather than asking already standing to grab my bag.

“Joel she made it through the fucking night.” Tess said as I walked back over, bag in hand.

“Doesn’t matter.” Joel bit back.

I took my seat on the ground beside Joel and began to bandage up his hand.

“It’s gonna happen sooner or later.” He tried to reason, “We’re still close to the wall, we sneak her back into the QZ, and we find a different way to get the battery.”

“This is our best shot,” Tess argued, “If we take her back there, someone is gonna notice her arm, they’ll scan her and kill her.”

“Well better them than us.” He shot back.

“May I give my two cents here?” I asked finishing up Joel's bandages.

Tess nodded for me to go on.

“I can’t believe I’m sayin’ it but I agree with Tess. We can’t bring her back… and we can’t kill her. It ain’t fair to her. Bringing her to the State House is our best option here, rather than bringing her back to the QZ where we know she will get killed, or killing her ourselves. At least that way we won’t have to live knowing we lead her to slaughter.” I said.

“You two both need to quit talking about her like she actually has a life ahead of her.” Joel said.

“Maybe she does.” I argued just as we heard footsteps coming back.

“Whatever, let’s just eat something before we have to head out again.” Joel said digging into his bag.

“You hungry? We can share some of ours.” Tess offered as Ellied sat back down.

“Marlene sent me with my own.” She said before digging into her bag and pulling something out of it.

Joel passed out a couple of pieces of dried jerky to both me and Tess. I broke off a piece of mine but as I brought it up to my mouth and caught a whiff of it, it made me feel nauseous. I sat up a bit more and brought it away from my face to take a few deep breaths before handing the pieces back to Joel.

“Here. I’m not hungry.” I said.

“You need to eat.” Joel said, not taking them.

“Joel, take them.” I snapped a little.

“You okay kid? You look really pale.” Tess said, taking the jerky from my hand.

“I’m not a kid. And I’m fine.” I lied.

I could tell she wasn’t convinced but I am glad she didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she put the jerky away and dug in her bag for something.

“Here, eat these, I’ve been secretly growing them at my place. You need to eat something. And drink some water.” She said handing me a small bag of berries.

I nodded in thanks and slowly ate them. I was so caught up in trying not to puke that I had completely tuned out the conversation Ellie and Tess were having until Tess stood up from her stool and walked closer to the young girl. Joel tried to stop her, but I grabbed his arm to keep him from doing so.

“Why are you so special to Marlene? And don’t lie or we’ll take you back.” She threatened.

“You take me back, you don’t get your battery.” Ellie popped off to her.

Tess scoffed, “You heard that huh? Well, then you must’ve also heard that he wants to shoot you.”

Ellie eyed Joel nervously before replying, “Yeah, but she said you shouldn’t, at least not yourself. And something tells me she won’t let him do it.” She said referring to me.

Joel rolled his eyes at her remark.

“Look, I’m gonna talk to you like you’re an adult,” Tess began as she knelt down in front of Ellie, “We’re not good people, we’re doing this for us. Because apparently, you’re worth something. But we don’t know what you’re worth if we don’t know what we have. So, answer my question.”

I could tell Ellie thought about what she was about to do, she seemed apprehensive.

“She told me not to tell anyone and now I’m telling the first people that I-” She hesitated.

“Hey, it’s okay we won’t tell anyone.” I finally spoke up, trying to reassure her.

She took a deep breath before continuing, “There’s a Firefly base camp somewhere out west… with doctors. They’re working on finding a cure.”

“We’ve heard this all before.” Joel sighed, annoyed that we were even considering giving her the time of day to explain herself.

“And whatever happened to me…”

“-Is the key to the vaccine.” Joel said with her, knowing what she was about to say.

“That’s what this is? We’ve heard this a million times before. Vaccines, miracle cures. None of it works. Ever.” He argued.

“Fuck you, man. I didn’t ask for this.” Ellied snapped at him standing up.

“You and me both. Tess, Yn, this isn’t gonna end well. We need to go back.” He urged.

I stood up as Tess did the same.

“Let’s just finish it.” Tess said, “It doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t what the Fireflies say. If they believe that she is then… we get what we want.”

“I mean, best-case scenario she is, we hand her over, they find a cure, we get the truck and find Tommy. Worst-case scenario is she isn’t and this was a waste of time.” I said.

“No, Yn, worst-case is we all end up dead.” Joel said harshly.

“Can you two get over your lover's quarrel, are we going or not?” Tess asked.

Joel sighed and grabbed his bag, “If she so much as twitches.” He warned.

Ellied began to snarl and make choking sounds as she pretend to twitch around causing me to bite back a snicker. Joel didn’t find it amusing.

“Don’t.” Tess reprimanded her and she stopped immediately.

We all collected our stuff and as Joel picked up his newly acquired rifle Ellie eyed it up and said, “Can I have a gun.”

“Absolutely not.”

“No.”

“Hell no.” Joel, Tess, and I all said respectively.

“Okay, Jesus. Fine. I’ll have to just throw a fucking sandwich at them.” She said as she picked up what was left over and put it in her bag.

Joel moved the barricade from the door and then opened it to make sure the coast was clear. When he confirmed that it was, we followed him out.

When we walked out, the sun was shining and you could see the city around us. Or what used to be a city that was now falling apart and overrun but nature. Ellie was ahead of me and watched her with a small smile as she took in the sight before her.

“Whoa.” She sighed.

“I know, I had the same reaction my first time seeing it.” I said, nudging her slightly with my arm.

“We should get movin’.” Joel said.

And with that, we began walking. We passed some of the craters left from the bombings. Just like me, Ellie was oddly fascinated with everything we passed.

“It’s like a fucked up moon. Are these from the bombings?” She asked.

“Yeah, Joel or Tess can tell you more about it. I don’t really remember it.” I admitted.

“They bombed most of the bigger cities like this, “ Tess explained, “They had to slow the spread somehow. It worked here, but it didn’t in most places.”

We walked a little further before we got to a road that was impassable due to a collapsed building. It was really in the most inconvenient spot. If it wasn’t blocked, then the State House would have been a straight shot taking ten to fifteen minutes tops to get there. But since that was not an option we had to choose one of the alternate routes.

“Long way or short way?” Joel asked.

“Well, I mean it’s the long way or the ‘we’re fuckin dead’ way.” Tess said.

“Well, I vote long way, just based on that limited information.”

Joel nodded, knowing it was the safer route, “We have to check it from the hotel first.”

We nodded and began walking that way. It was still eerie walking past all the abandoned cars. I didn’t dare to look in them. I made that mistake once. Most of them were empty, but not all of them. You had a chance of finding an infected or perhaps worst severely decomposing person in them.

As we walked, Joel hung back in the back of the group, Tess lead the way while Ellie and I walked together.

“Where the fuck are they all?” She asked.

I just shook my head, “You’ll know it when they’re close. Don’t ask about them though, you’ll jinx us.” I warned.

“I didn’t know last time.” She said.

“Was that when you got bit?” I asked.

She nodded, “It was in the old mall in the QZ.”

Tess turned around at that and waited for us to catch up.

“You got bit in the sealed-off mall that no one is supposed to go in. Ever.”

“Whatever. I snuck in. I wanted to see what it was like. Didn’t think there was gonna be anything in there and then one just came at me outta nowhere. I thought I got away, but.”

“So, it was just you in there, alone?” Tess asked.

“Yeah.” Ellie said.

“How old are you?” Tess asked another question.

“14.”

“Wow. I mean, you got some balls on you, sister.”

“Thanks.” Ellie said, smiling to herself causing me to smile a little too.

We continued our trek down the old highway, occasionally climbing over cars that had been wrecked and flipped over. Joel was staying silent which wasn’t unusual for him. Not that I wanted to speak to him right now.

“So Ellie,” I began, “No one’s going to come looking for you, right?”

“Yeah, like mom, or dad or boyfriend?” Tess added.

“Well, I’m an orphan, and ah no…” She said, “Everyone always said the outer city was crazy,” She said, changing the subject, “like there were hoards of infected running wild.”

“Not exactly like that.” Joel’s voice startled me a bit.

“People like to tell stories.” Tess added.

“So, there aren’t Super-Infected that explode fungus spores on you?” Ellie asked.

“Shit, I hope not.” Tess joked.

“Just thinking about that makes my skin crawl.” I said with a small shutter as the thought of what facing one of those would be like.

“Or what about ones with split open heads that can see in the dark like bats?” Ellied asked causing me to freeze.

I had come to learn that when I had been attacked trying to get to the Boston QZ, all those years ago with my brother and Pa that it had been a Clicker. They were the final stage of being infected. It was when you became more fungus than human. The fungus grows out of your skull, cracking it open and allowing it to grow bigger.

I took a deep breath and went to continue walking but just as I went to take a step we all froze and looked off to our left where we could hear a loud, distant howling yell of an infected.

“What was that?” Ellie asked.

“I told you, you would know when they got close.” I reminded her.

“Let’s keep movin’.” Joel said, gripping his rifle a little tighter.

We eventually made it to the hotel. When we pushed open the door the smell of murky water hit me causing me to sigh. I was not going to be able to catch a break today from horrible smells. It also looked like the rain we had just gotten had made the water in there rise a lot more.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me! You guys ever stay in a place like this?” Ellie asked.

“Uh no, a little out of our league.” Tess joked.

“How do you even know what this is?” Joel asked.

“Have you ever heard of books?” She sassed causing him to roll his eyes before he descended the few stairs down into the water.

“Wait a minute we're going in there?”

“Unfortunately.” I said to her as I tightened the straps on my backpack.

“We gotta get to the stairwell on the other side.” Tess said, nodding across the way at it.

“Well, I- I um don’t know how to swim.” She tried to argue.

“Seriously?” Joel asked.

“Do you think we have pools in the QZ?” She shot back at him.

“No, smartass. I mean,” He finished his sentence by jumping off the last step and showing the water, despite being higher than usual, only came up to right around his knees.

“I don’t know how I was supposed to know that.” Ellie said as she walked down the stairs.

I went to walk down the too but Tess stopped me.

“Careful, kid, they’re slick.” She warned with a knowing look.

Fuck. She knew.

“Thanks.” I nodded before carefully walking down with her following behind me.

The floor was covered in slippery algae so I took my time walking across it with Tess as Joel and Ellie were ahead of us.

“Does he know?” She asked.

I looked at her but didn’t answer.

“I’m not trying to pry. Just wondering if that’s got him so bent out of shape.” She explained.

“No, me being pregnant is what’s gotten him so bent out of shape. He doesn’t want it. He said the last time he held a baby was before I was even born…” I explained.

“That’s what happens when you get with a much older man,” She teased only partly joking, “But I guess the question is, do you want it?”

I nodded, “Yeah.”

“He loves you, Yn, he’ll come around.” She tried to reassure me.

I shrugged, “I just think he has too much going on right now, and worrying about me even more than he usually has to just sent him over the edge. Like he made it very clear that he doesn’t want the baby, but wants to make decisions on what is best for me now. He doesn’t need to do that. He doesn’t want it, so let me worry about it. You know?”

She nodded as we both stopped to look over at Ellie as she messed around with the old luggage cart. Then, when she jumped back, clearly startled by something, Tess and I were both pulling out our guns as Joel rushed over to help her. Joel helped her up after seeing that there was no immediate danger. She made her way over to us and we both made sure she was okay. Once we made it across the water, we had to climb up ten flights of stairs to get high enough. Joel led the way with his rifle, making sure the coast was clear for us.

When we got to the top Joel checked down the hall to make sure we were safe then walked out. When Tess and I made it there we both paused for a second to catch our breaths.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad.” Ellie teased.

“You try climbing ten fuckin’ flights with our knees. See how you feel.” Tess shot back in defense.

“Okay, but what about her? She like in her twenties, why are you winded?” Ellied asked nodding to me.

“I have my reasons.” I said.

“That’s convincing.” She said before following Joel.

We rounded a corner and saw that part of the building had collapsed.

“Well, when the fuck did that happen?” Tess asked.

We tried to open a few of the doors but none of them would budge. I walked closer to the rubble. There was an opening I could fit through.

“Hey, what if I climb through? I can work my way around and open it from the inside maybe?” I suggested.

“Worth a shot.” Tess agreed.

“No.” Joel was quick to shut that down.

“I can go. I am the smallest.” Ellie offered up.

“No, if you die, we get nothing.” Tess said. “Let Tess go.” Joel suggested.

“Why can’t I do it?” I questioned, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Because you might get hurt.” He argued.

“And if she does, Joel, it’ll be on here. She’s a big girl she can go. Come on let's get her up there.” Tess said, ending our little argument.

They helped me up through the opening then I began climbing over hunks of cement and barbs.

“You good up there?” Joel called out to me.

“I’m fine. Just trying to map out a course. It’s a fucking a mess up here. Give me a few minutes.”

I finally mapped out my route to get over the piles of concrete without getting impaled by a metal barb. Once I made it through I took a glance around me, to the street below. Fuck. There were infected down there a lot of them. We wouldn’t be able to go that way anymore. I sighed, turning around to go let the others in.

“Joel, put your fucking gun down, if you shoot me, I’ll shoot back.” I warned as I began to move pieces of furniture out of the way.

I got to the door and opened it, my face must have said it all.

“What’s wrong?” Tess asked.

“Come see for yourself.” I said, turning around and leading them to see what I saw down in the street.

When we got over to the balcony, Ellie stepped up onto the bottom molding to get a better view. “Be careful.” I said, coming to stand beside her as she leaned over a bit more.

“There’s so many.” She said in awe.

I saw Tess nod from the corner of my eye, “Yeah, last time we came through here, they were still deep inside the buildings. But I guess enough people came through looking for the QZ, they went inside seeking shelter and that’s how they get more and more of the city bit by bit, year after year.”

We watched them as they all seemed to move together.

“They’re connected.” Ellie commented.

“More than you know.” Tess began, “The fungus also grows underground. Long fibers like wires, some of them stretching over a mile. Now, you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, and you can wake a dozen Infected from somewhere else.”

“Really?”

Tess nodded once again, “Then they know where you are and they’re coming for you. You’re not immune from being ripped apart. You understand?”

“Tess, chill you’re scaring her.” I said.

“I’m just being honest with her. This is important for her to know. I’m trying to keep her alive.” She said defensively.

Ellie hopped down from where she was standing with a small sigh.

“So, guess we’re not going that way.”

“Nope.” I confirmed.

“So, what do we do then?” She asked, looking between the three of us.

I looked at Joel and waited for him to confirm what I already knew he was going to say.

“Museum.” He said and I immediately shook my head. “No. There’s other ways, we can take one of those.” I said.

“We don’t have a secure way to check those routes. And we’re running out of time. It’s the only option now. You knew we might go that way if you’re so terrified of it, then maybe yo-”

“Joel, I swear, if you say that I should’ve stayed back one more time I’ll push your fucking ass off this building and let the Infected have their way with you.” I said.

He was way out of line. He knew what happened last time. He knew why I was terrified to go back there.

It happened about 8 months ago. We were going out to trade with Frank and Bill. I decided to tag along, I hadn’t seen them since we met something always came up but always sent my best wishes when Joel and Tess went. But this time I was able to go.

We made it out of the QZ without any issues. I couldn’t remember why but we decided to take the route through the museum. They hadn’t taken me that way last time so I was excited to see a different part of the city. We made it in without any issues. It was when we got to the second floor. Joel had told me to have my gun ready, just in case there were any infected hiding out in there.

Tess was behind me and Joel was leading us. He had his flashlight out lighting the way. I saw it before he did. I man ran out from the shadows straight at him. He had a knife in his hand, ready to attack. Joel’s head was down, trying to get his light readjusted in his grip.

“Joel!” I yelled, getting his attention.

He sidestepped the attack just narrowly missing getting slashed. Now the man was running straight at me. I wasn’t sure what happened, but next thing I knew my ears were ringing, the man had fallen with a thud, and my hands were shaking as they gripped my now-raised gun.

What had I done?

I killed him. I killed someone. They weren’t even infected from what I could tell. Then I heard it. The howling of a dying man. I hadn’t killed him.

“You son of a bitch! You shot me!” He yelled, trying and failing to stop the blood that was coming from his stomach.

I hadn’t really aimed and he was so close that the bullet ripped him up pretty good.

It got worse though. The man had clearly gone insane because next thing I knew, as I stood there in shock, the man took his rusted knife and made a cut at the bullet wound. It wasn’t a huge one, but it was enough that he could stick his own hand into it. And that is what he did. At this point, Tess had grabbed me and was pulling me backward from the way we came and Joel was walking toward us to try and block out the man. He managed to, but not before I saw him pulling out his own intestines as he continued to bellow in pain. The last thing I saw was him finally go limp on the ground.

Once we got out, Jole made sure I was okay. I was still in shock and couldn’t find the strength to speak. So I just let him hold me for a few minutes before he began walking us back toward the QZ.

As we walked to the museum, the scene replayed over and over again in my head. It had traumatized me. Not only was that my first time killing someone, but what he did after being shot scared me. I can still hear his screams in my sleep sometimes.

“Earth to Yn?” Tess’s voice brought me out of my trance.

“Sorry, what?”

“Take this flashlight.” She held it out to me and I took it into my shaking hands.

“Okay, more ground rules,” she said, turning to Ellie, I didn’t listen to them as my eyes met Joel’s.

“You’ve been quiet.” He commented.

“Yeah, just reliving some trauma… you think he’s still in there?” I asked, referring to his dead body.

“Well, I doubt he had some kin to come collect his body.” Joel sassed.

“Joel quit being an ass. You know that scared the fuck out of me. I couldn’t sleep for a month without seeing him.” I said, tears welling up at the thought of it again.

“Hey, I’ll go ahead of you, if he’s there, close your eyes and I’ll guide you past it. Okay?” Tess offered.

I nodded, “Thank you.”

It was so weird that Tess was now being nicer to me since she figured out that I was pregnant. At least someone was, it’s not like Joel has been.

Joel went in first. He poked his head in and made sure the coast was clear once he was sure it was he went in and nodded for us to follow. I was still shaking as I followed him in, followed by Ellie, then Tess. I was zoned out to everything around me. I had one goal and one goal only: get in and get out of here. I vaguely processed Joel and Tess talking about something Ellie found but couldn’t focus enough to catch what was being said.

“Yn, you got that?” Joel asked, stepping in front of me.

“Hm?”

“Silent. Completely silent from now on.” He said and all I could do was nod.

Any other time I would’ve processed why we were being silent, but I just couldn’t right now, but I still went along with it. We made our way up the stairs, my little “friend” was on the second landing. I hesitated as we got closer. I was shocked when Joel stopped and nodded for Tess and Ellie to go passed. He stepped down closer to me and nodded, telling me the body was still there.

“Close your eyes.” He mouthed.

I nodded and did so. Then he grabbed my hand and carefully led me passed him. Joel tapped my arm and my eyes opened, we had made it past.

“Don’t look.” He mouthed before nodding me to go forward.

I went to take a step but something caught my attention. Up at the top of the stairwell, I swore I heard something. I shrugged it off as paranoia and continued to follow Tess up. Once we made it all the way up, Joel took over leading us. I was feeling a bit better having passed the body now, but something felt off.

We made it into an exhibit hall. Joel had once again made sure the coast was clear before we entered. We were back to our original lineup with Joel leading, then me, then Ellie and Tess in the back. I had made it through the doorway and was waiting for Tess and Ellie when I heard a rumbling sound. Just as they were crossing the threshold, the ceiling out in the hallway collapsed sending both of them to the floor. Joel and I were quick to help them up.

Then we heard it. Screeching and then… clicking. There was a Clicker in here with us.

Without saying a word, Ellie stayed behind me as Tess and Joel stayed ahead of me and we all moved together, slowly backing away from where we had heard the noises. I was shaking and had to bite my lip to keep from crying. Why did it have to be a damn Clicker? I would’ve much rather preferred to have another crazed man attack us than have to deal with one of them. It rounded the corner and I looked away, I didn’t even want to look at it.

As we continued to back away, I heard more clicking coming from another hall. When I turned to look, another was stumbling out. Our backs were against a display case as it stumbled around it. I watched in silent horror as it rounded the case and began to walk behind Joel. I was holding my breath to not make any sounds. Then, it all happened so fast. Someone exhaled just loud enough for it to hear. The Clicker turned and screeched at us.

Then, Joel was taking his gun and shooting at it. “Run!” He yelled at us as he tried to fight it off.

I was in complete defense mode and took off running. Tess and Ellie went one way and I split off the other way. I realized it was a stupid idea seeing as I had no idea how the fuck to get out of here and the way we had come in was now blocked off by the collapsed ceiling. It didn’t matter all that did was getting away. I heard thuds and more gunshots as I turned into another part of the exhibit. There were footsteps behind me and turned just in time to see Joel running and pointing for me to go in there. He followed in behind me, bringing the Clicker that was chasing him along with him. He pushed over one of the busts and it hit a glass display case, shattering it and distracting the Clicker. We hid behind a taller one and Joel very quietly reloaded his gun. Once he was done he glanced around us.

Then, he pointed to something past me. I turned and saw Ellie crouching behind a display by herself. I turned back to Joel and nodded before carefully making my way over to her. We got there and got her to follow us. We were inching our way to the other side when the sound of glass crunching under a boot made my heart drop. I barely had time to glance up and see the Clicker jump onto Ellie.

It had her pinned and she was doing her best to keep it away from her. I didn’t hesitate to aim my gun at it. I shot it once, twice before it stumbled off of her. Joel got her up and began rushing away with her. The Clicker stumbled for a moment before running at us once again. I fired at it again and again until it fell to the ground and I emptied two more rounds into its head.

I thought we were clear. I couldn’t hear the other but as I glanced around me I realized that Tess was nowhere to be seen. Then I heard it, the other Clicker. It was running at us before Tess got to it. She hit it with a hatchet which stopped its advances on us as it turned toward her. Joel quickly grabbed his rifle and aimed at it. Within two shots to its head, it too went down.

“Is everyone okay?” Joel asked.

“Twisted ankle, but… yeah.” Tess spoke up first before turning to Ellie, “You alright?”

“Well, I didn’t shit my pants, so…” She said but then rolled up her sleeve, “Well if it was gonna happen to one of us.”

“Hey,” Tess spoke up once again, “Let's get the fuck out of here.”

She began walking towards the window to lead us out and Ellie followed. Joel hung back for a moment.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded knowing he meant if I was physically hurt, which I wasn’t. Tears began to well up in my eyes, quickly wiped them, and just turned to follow the other two out of here. Once we got out, Joel helped Tess wrap her ankle while I helped Ellie cover the wound on her arm. As I tied off the bandage I could feel nausea creeping up my throat. I quickly but carefully hurried across the wooden planks to the other building where it was a bit more flat. I managed to get out of where they would be walking before dropping to my knees and hurling.

Once I was done, I sat back, catching my breath. I felt something tap my shoulder and opened my eyes to see Joel offering me his water canteen. I took it with a small nod.

“This is why you shouldn’t have come out here. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better. It’s still not too late to head back. You know the way back to the QZ from here.” He said gently, clearly trying to comfort me with his tone but his words did the complete opposite.

I spit out the water I was using to get the nasty taste out of my mouth before turning to him.

“You must be out of your damn mind if you think I am going back through there alone. I’ve never been out here by myself before. There ain’t no way in hell I am turning around and heading back by myself. I don’t care if you think it’ll get worse. You made it very clear this is my issue to deal with. If you’ve suddenly had a change of heart we can discuss it when we get back. We won’t be out here forever. We’ll get Ellie to the State House, get a truck, and then go to the radio tower to find Tommy. We’ll be gone a month, two months tops. I’m roughly 7-9 weeks is what the midwife said. So we will have plenty of time to discuss it then. Let’s just take care of this.” I said standing up and handing him back his canteen.

“Wait, you’re pregnant?” Ellie asked from where she stood near Tess.

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“And you came out here?” She was clearly surprised by my choice.

“Yup. Come let’s get moving.” I said, wanting the attention off of me.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Tess said nodding and leading the way.

We made our way to the edge of the building and from there you could see the golden top of the State House.

“Is it everything you’d hope it’d be?” Joel asked her.

“Jury’s still out. But, man, you can’t deny that view.” She said in awe.

“No, no you can’t.” I agreed, stepping up beside her.

“Come on, let’s try to get there before it gets dark.” Tess said before swinging herself around the edge of the rusty old fire escape ladder.

I went to go next.

“Should someone help her?” Ellie asked Joel.

“I got it.” I reassured her.

At least she genuinely cared. She followed behind me, and then Joel. We were pretty high up so it took a little while to climb all the way down.

Tess kept leading the way to the State House. I couldn’t help but feel like she was walking a lot faster than we were earlier. She was also seemingly trying to keep her distance from us. Anytime we tried to catch up too much, she speed up a little more. I wasn’t sure why she was in such a rush all of a sudden. Yes, we were trying to get there before it got dark but we were making good time.

When we finally made it, it was quiet. Too quiet.

“Where the fuck are they?” Tess asked the question that we were all thinking.

It was evident they had been here at some point seeing as there was one of their trucks parked out front still. They should be here. Joel went to check the cab of the truck. With his rifle in hand, he opened the passenger door and threw it open. Empty. However, I could see from where Tess, Ellie, and I were standing that there was blood splattered in the cab. Something had happened to them. Both Tess and I had our guns drawn ready to help Joel should he need it. He disappeared around the other side and when he didn’t signal us to follow or show up again we grew impatient and went to see what he had found.

“What the fuck is going on?” Tess asked.

“I don’t know.” He replied, staring at the empty truck.

“They went inside.”

We all turned to see what Ellie was talking about and sure enough there was a trail of blood leading up the steps. Then, without warning, Tess pushed pasted both Joel and me and grabbed Ellie by the arm, and began forcefully leading her up the stairs.

“Come on!” She said to the girl.

I turned to Joel to see if he had any clues about what just happened but he looked just as confused as I did. We both then followed after them. We were all shocked by what we found when we got inside. Everyone was dead. Tess looked panicked.

“I mean there’s gotta be like a fuckin’ radio or somethin’, right?” She asked as she began to frantically look around.

“Who killed them, FEDRA?” Ellie asked.

“No,” Joel began as he rolled the body closet to him over with his foot, “One of them got bitten. The healthy ones fought the sick ones. Everyone lost.”

I turned to see Tess still frantically looking around for something. “Tess, what’s going on?” “Where did Marlene say she was taking you?” She asked, ignoring my question and quickly approaching Ellie.

“I- I don’t know. Just west.”

“Just west.” She repeated to herself, “Fuck. Okay. Well, I mean, one of them’s gotta have a map on them right?”

Joel and I continued to watch her.

“Can you two help?” She snapped at us.

“No! Tess… it’s over.” Joel said.

“They wouldn’t risk having a map, Tess… I’m sorry.”

“Come on. We’re going home.” Joel said.

“That’s not my fucking home!” She yelled before taking a deep breath and standing back up, “I’m staying,” she said, much calmer, “I mean… our luck had to run out sooner or later.”

“Shit.” I whispered under my breath knowing what she meant.

“She infected.” Ellie said.

I watched Joel, wait to see how he would react.

“Show me.”

“Joel.” She went to take a step towards him only for him to take one back, away from her.

With a sigh, she grabbed the collar of her shirt and jacket and pulled it down revealing the infection at the junctor of her neck and collarbone. I covered my mouth and tried to breathe slowly as I felt a wave of emotions hit me. We may not have always gotten along the greatest but I’ve been around her for so long now that seeing her infected still made me sad knowing this would be the last time we saw her.

“Ellie take off your bandage.” She said.

The girl did as she was told and to my surprise, her bite was already almost completely healed. Tess walked over to Ellie and grabbed her arm to show Joel.

“This is real, Joel. She is real,” She then turned to me, “Promise you’ll get her to Bill and Franks.”

“I don’t know the way.” I said shaking my head.

“He’ll go with you. He would never let you go by yourself. He won’t have a choice but to go. So, please, promise me you’ll get her there. They’ll take her off your hands. They’ll handle it from there.”

I was nodding gas Joel kept saying “no” and arguing that they wouldn’t take her, but Tess was adamant that they would.

“Joel, this is your chance to set it all right. All the shit we did. Please say yes, Joel.” Tess pleaded.

I was watching with teary eyes, not crying yet, waiting for him to agree. But before he got the chance to say anything an infected screeched. I immediately pulled Ellie to stand behind me and brought my gun out and shot it. Joel still hadn’t answered. Instead, he ran towards the door. I was about to ask him what the hell he was doing but as soon as he opened it I heard the snarls of a hoard of infected coming our way. When I shot that one it must have woken all the others nearby.

“How many?” Tess asked.

“All of them.” “How long?” I asked.

“Maybe a minute.”

My heart dropped.

Everyone stood trying to think of something to do, knowing it was practically hopeless. Then, suddenly, Tess grabbed the rifle and walked over to one of the barrels. He knocked its cap off them and dumped its contents onto the floor. She did the same to two more. Then grabbed a basket of grenades and threw them down too.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked.

“Making sure they don’t follow you.” Tess replied.

When I realized what she was going to do, my heart broke a little.

“Tess.” I began.

“Don’t. Don’t cry me. We never really got along anyways.” SHe joked half heartedly.

I laughed sadly and nodded.

“Hey, take care of them and save who you can save.” She said.

I nodded one last time before turning around.

“Hurry, let's go.” I said, grabbing Ellie’s arm.

“We can’t leave her!” She yelled.

“We have to!” I yelled back, following Joel out of the building.

We had made it less than a hundred yards when the explosion happened. We dropped to our knees for a brief second before standing back up and turning to face the building again. Joel and pulled out our guns, ready to shoot any infected that came our way. I could see them stumbling out of the building, on fire, but none came our way. When we decided we were as safe as we could be, we lowered our guns. I turned to Joel only to find him already staring back at me. Neither of us said a thing. There was nothing to be said. We just turned around and began walking away from the raging fire behind us.

a/n: are y'all okay with this long of parts or would y'all rather me break them up into smaller bits?? So far for this and the last part I've been doing a full ep a part... so would yall rather me keep them shorter or are yall cool with longer ones like this??

taglist: (if you filled out a form and aren't on this list that means either a) your blog is not coming up in the searches so I am unable to confirm that you are 18+, or b) you did not follow my rules for being tagged in this fic)

@sexyvixen7

@joelmillerslays

@elliaze

@little-lovely-darling

@swimmjacket

@watercolorskyy

@mserynlarsen

@sebby-staan

@beelanie

@fan-g0rl

@paige96

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#joel miller x reader fluff #joel miller x pregnant reader #joel miller smut #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us hbo #tlou show #hbo the last of us #hbo tlou #the last of us #pedro pascal joel miller

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lollytea · 1 year

Note

Ok the 4 Huntlow Destiel crimes are

- straight

- ugly

- age gap

- toxic

But they also have their own crimes of

- rushed

- boring

- wasted opportunity for Hunter to get rejected

- ruining the queerness of the show

- advanced friendship

So really when you compare that to Destiel's other crimes, Huntlow is so much more problematic, obviously

[Nods musingly, the knuckle of my index finger pressed against my lips]

[Relights my pipe and take a deep pull, before casting my contemplative gaze out the window of my expansive and exquisite library. A chaffinch is singing from the perch of the handcrafted birdfeeder]

You know what? You're right. You've convinced me. I'm going to repent. It IS far worse than Destiel. Gonna write an in-depth analysis on why huntlow sucks left nuts. Post haste.

[Hurriedly snatches a scrap of paper and begins scribbling down the first draft on my copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray by Charles Dickens]

91 notes · View notes

pearlsinmyhair · 9 months

Text

༄breath of venus༄

chapter eight • why me? / why you?

summary: venus’s warnings aren’t heeded, and now someone pays. quaritch and wainfleet address the elephant in the room. venus has to make a terrible decision, and she is not sure if it was right after it is made.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: angst. cursing/mature language. cannon typical violence. mental distress. distressing imagery. dead animal. animals eating animal. death.

authors note: i wrote this with rain and thunder ambiance, and i’d recommend listening to it because it rains this who chapter. anyway, hello, this is the chapter that was part of the ‘chapter snippet’. if you don’t like descriptions of violence and death, especially animal death, you have been warned. we also have a good amount of switching perspectives in this one.

glossary: there is na’vi in this chapter, but it’ll be translated at the end so that the twist isn’t spoiled.

“a burnt child loves the fire.”

- oscar wilde, a picture of dorian gray

Rain poured over the jungle, pelting the trees and it’s inhabitants with sheets of merciless droplets. It was the wet season in this part of pandora, a sign that spring was approaching.

Venus had always enjoyed the rain, had always found comfort in the roaring thunder. Yet she found much less joy in it now that she did not have a place to hide from the stinging drops.

She and the recoms had stopped, unable to fly in the rain safety. It was a gamble where they landed, and luckily they had found a cave tucked up and away near where they settled.

The ikran had disappeared to find a nesting place for themselves as the squad crammed into the cave. Thankfully, it was spacious enough to fit all of them, and blissfully dry. The glowing fungi characteristic of this region lined the walls in swirls, and Venus traced over them with her finger, wondering what secrets they held.

“We should scout the area before we rest. We’re nearing the Tawkami clan, and we should make sure that there’s no hostiles near.” she overheard Quaritch explain to the group.

“You shouldn’t go out in the rain. It’ll distort your hearing, and there’s high chance that there’s predators out hunting.” she called, standing from where she was sitting with her bow.

After a long discussion following the night of their first real meal, Quaritch decided that Venus would be allowed to keep the bow, on the condition that someone else hold her knife and arrows. She had reluctantly agreed, and Ja had taken charge of her other weapons.

“Doesn’t matter. We’re not getting killed in our sleep, and we will if we don’t get our barings. Wainfleet, Mansk, Zdog, you’re with me.” Quaritch replied, and his chosen recombinants stood, readying themselves to walk into the rain once more.

Venus’s stomach seemed to turn. She took a deep breath and adjusted her tone.

“Quaritch, you will be blind and deaf out there. You’re fair game for any hunting animal.” she tried, taking a step closer to the Colonel.

To his credit, he didn’t entirely dismiss her. He at least considered it for a few seconds before answering. “We’re sitting ducks in this cave no matter what. We can at least understand what we’re facing if we take a look.”

She grit her teeth and turned, heading back to her spot to distract herself with her bow.

“Colonel to Fearless, you copy?” crackled a voice over her comm.

She turned to see Quaritch with his thumb to his own throat piece, looking at her expectantly.

She rolled her eyes, reaching up to her neck. “Fearless to Colonel, I copy.”

He inclined his head to her. “If we get into trouble, or something happens, we’ll call it in. It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes.” he said before turning to his group.

They funneled out of the cave one by one, Mansk last. He looked at her over his shoulder, and she nodded.

Be safe.

His ear flicked, and he dipped his chin.

I will.

Lopez called her over to where he and Prager had somehow procured playing cards, and she turned away from the cave entrance to join them.

Fearless was her new callsign, gifted to her after the entirety of Deja-Blue scoffed at her original one. She had a sneaking suspicion that half of them couldn’t pronounce ‘Palalukan’ anyway, so she had taken on the name with indifference.

Ja and Lopez had the best grasp of the Na’vi language, so they occasionally called her lu’txo, without fear. But the rest stayed with english, especially after Wainfleet’s failed attempt at pronouncing the Na’vi version.

She watched Prager for a round of cards, playing a game they called ‘Bullshit’. She and the marine had reached a kind of truce when he had cut and shared a fruit with her, a silent peace offering and apology after he had insulted her. Zdog had told her that he had a sister, not far from her age. She was beginning to realize that she served as an unwelcome reminder of what he’d lost when he signed his soul to the RDA.

It took a few minutes of questions and tentative moves, but Venus eventually got the hang of the game. It helped that Lopez was terrible at bluffing, and Ja’s ear twitched when he lied. But Prager was like a stone, never showing any kind of tick as to the accuracy of his moves. She eventually won, and Lopez was stuck with first watch for having the most cards left.

They were unrolling their packs and passing out stored portions of the yerik meat when they heard a gunshot.

Then another.

Then a whole flurry.

Ja and Prager reached for their guns and checked the chambers as Wainfleet’s voice crackled over the speaker to their throat comms.

“I-nE——come i——-help——-than————-“

It was uneven and glitchy, broken by the sound of wind and thunder and branches braking, the gunfire ever present.

Venus made eye contact with Ja, and he reached into his pack and threw her arrows to her without hesitation.

She grabbed her bow and tucked her arrows with them, turning to nod to Prager and Lopez as they waited at the entrance of the cave for her.

“Venus, wait.”

She turned to see Ja with her knife outstretched, holding it by the blade as he extended it to her.

She took the knife and tucked it into its sheath at her side, before bounding off into the pouring rain with the marines.

༄

Quaritch couldn’t see. Not in front of him, not behind him. Where there wasn’t leaves and tress there was rain, running down his forehead and into his eyes.

But even through the sound of roaring thunder he could still hear.

Its hiss followed him, close at his heels as it snapped its jaws at his tail. He was barely out of its reach now, but he could feel it’s hot breath against his back.

By some mercy of Eywa or God or whatever deity was keeping him alive, it slipped in the mud and stumbled, giving him just enough time to dive under tree roots and turn his gun to the beast.

The thanator roared in frustration as the bullets pelted its body, but they glanced off of its armored skin like water. It dove its face down into the roots, closing its jaws around his assault rifle and throwing it away.

“Fucking hell-“ Quaritch muttered as he scrambled to the side, successfully escaping the animal for a second. He peeled himself from the roots and booked it to a nearby clearing.

He grabbed his knife and turned, running over the footage from the downed amp suit in his head.

Knife to the gut, hard. Get into its insides and twist.

Easier said than done when he’d have to get close enough.

He was alone now; he had shoved Zdog up a tree when they first found the claw marks along the bark of another, a territorial marker.

Wainfleet he had pushed into a waterfall, as he wouldn’t just fucking listen for once when it really counted. And Mansk had disappeared, sent to find the rest of the squad for back up incase things went south.

And shit had it gone to hell.

The thanator leapt into the clearing, snarling and spitting as it sized him up. It was huge, over four times his size with a yellow strip running down his side.

‘It denotes males, but it’s not commonly bright. I’ve only ever seen one that was vivid.’ he remembered Venus saying.

Quaritch hissed back, cornered. He raised his knife, and the thanator roared. It had clearly interacted with Na’vi before, judging by the way it, well he, calculated his moves. There was something like recognition in the animal’s eyes, but Quaritch dismissed it for a trick of the rain.

He was forgetting something, something that was important. His skin prickled with fear as he struggled to recall what it was.

The moment he was distracted, the thanator swiped at him. Its claws sank into the meat of his bicep, raking down to his hand to bat the knife away. It jumped back just as quickly, its eyes bright with triumph as Quaritch was disarmed.

Through the pain, realization dawned on him as the thanator opened its jaws, revealing rows of black teeth. Familiar and alien, dark and beautiful.

He raised his fist as his death screamed and leapt, opening its mouth wide to close around his throat.

He reeled his fist back, hissing as the beast’s breath fanned across his face.

The soft sound of cutting air. Then a thwip and thud as an arrow buried itself into the side of the thanator’s face, impaling it through its main set of eyes.

It screamed in pain, stumbling forward as it swiped at its face, struggling to remove the arrow. Its legs buckled, and it sank to the ground with a whimper, still breathing.

Quaritch watched it for a moment, stunned as the rain pelted him and its body. He looked at the fletching at the end of the arrow, and he watched as the teal and red shifted to yellow and black.

He slowly turned, looking through the rain to find the she-demon herself, one leg propped against a fallen tree with her bow raised. She hissed at him, her own canines carrying the same promise of death that the thanator’s had.

Neytiri.

Then he blinked, and the woman became a girl.

Her war paint disappeared, becoming soft stripes that he had become familiar with. Her braided hair softened to long wet strands, sticking to her face like waves. Her expression shifted, becoming one of regret and shock as her eyes widened.

“Venus.”

༄

The world stood still around her. Her hand, raised to release the arrow that was now through Tamar’s skull, stayed at her cheek, hovering. Her mouth was dry, her lungs empty. She barely felt the rain anymore.

Someone was saying her name, and she met eyes with Quairtch.

His mouth formed the word again, so very disconnected from whatever she was right now.

Venus.

His voice was like a whisper through the sound of the rain. Blood ran down his skin, three deep claw marks from upper arm to palm marking him as dead.

And yet here she was, watching as her brother twitched on the ground and her father Quaritch stood alive.

Eywa, what have I done.

Her body moved as if it were a puppet, setting her bow against the fallen log and stepping over it. She did not look at the recombinants around her.

She watched as her brother’s eyes found her, stepping close with her knife in hand. He hissed, but then he saw her face. He exhaled shakily, trying to peice together what was going on.

Why she had chosen for him to die.

She rested a hand against his muzzle, stroking some of the mud that had smeared against it. He cooed softly, and she felt her eyes warm with hot tears, mixing with the cold rain as it dripping down her cheek.

“Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan.” she whispered, her voice nearly drowned by a sudden clap of thunder.

The knife felt like it was burning in her hand, and she clenched it tighter in her fist as she brought it to one of Tamar’s opercula, preparing to slice down into his heart.

Something prodded at her shoulder, and she glanced to the side to find him extending his kuru to her. She glanced down to his eye once more, finding him staring at her.

It was practically law to all training na’vi to never, under any circumstances, bond with a dying animal. The body would follow the other’s failing heart and organs, and some had even died from the bond sucking them down and away.

I am my own, and my own is me, she reminded herself as she brought her braid over her shoulder. It was a meditation taught to youngsters when they first bonded, a reminder that though you are one with your mount, your feelings and emotions are your own, not theirs, and vice versa.

Of course, that meditation did not include bonding with a dying mount.

She inhaled deeply as she brought her kuru to Tamar’s, watching as the neural glands twisted around each other and tightened.

Her face burst with pain, and she had to grit her teeth to fight from making a sound. She felt the arrow, embedded in her eye, her head splitting with agony.

Not mine. Not my pain. she tried to remind herself.

But Tamar’s mind was like a raging rapid, tossing her own thoughts about like they were nothing. She was drowning in his mind.

sister pain hurt. s pain. sister

please ow venus venu s venus please

arrow eye hurts blood man. hurts pain

blood like you. sister please ow venus

venus. venus please arrow eye hurts blood.

man hurts pain blood like

you venus sister help

hurts

She tried to focus out onto the rain, or onto the whispering voices around her, but she was anchored in.

She reached forward and grabbed with her thoughts.

Hello, brother.

Clarity and calm and pain and hurt and betrayal.

But clarity all the same.

༄

Quaritch watched as Venus grimaced, her eyes screwed shut as she made her final communion with her dying brother.

That was what he had forgotten, he realized as his eyes dropped to the necklace of teeth around her neck. Her siblings. Tamar.

Venus’s chest heaved, but she tried to establish rhythm, anything to calm the dying animal under her hand.

“What the fuck happened…” whispered an all too familiar voice in his ear.

He turned to see Lyle, soaking wet from both the river he had pushed him in and the rain. But he showed no anger towards Quaritch. Instead, his eyes were locked on Venus’s shaking shoulders, then they glanced down to his bleeding arm.

His corporal’s eyes were wide, his ears flicked back. It was not common to see Lyle Wainfleet lose his cool, but it seemed that Venus’s distress and Quaritch’s injury did the trick.

Quaritch didn’t have the words, but Lyle knew all the same. He took a step towards Venus, but Miles grabbed a pocket of his vest, tugging him back.

“Let her be. She’s…mourning.” he said.

But mourning wasn’t clinging to something that was dying. He opened his mouth to say something when Venus’s body suddenly jerked violently and collapsed.

Wainfleet and Quaritch were on her in an instant, and Ja quickly jogged over as well. Quaritch sat himself at Venus’s right, where her hand still gripped her knife.

“Venus, you gotta let him go.” he tried, gently taking her head and pulling her back up. She grunted in response, though from pain or in response he didn’t know.

“He’s going to die, V. And he’ll take you down with him.” Lyle said from across them. He rested his hand over the one Venus had placed against Tamar’s cheek, and she jerked again, heaving. When she made a sound this time, Tamar mirrored it, entangled in the bond.

“Venus.” Quaritch whispered in her ear as he brought her head to his chest. “Let him go.”

Venus sobbed in response, and he watched as her tanhí flickered with each wavering heartbeat. He brushed the dripping hair from her face with one hand and reached for their connected kuru’s with the other.

“Miles.” came Lyle’s voice as he gripped Quaritch’s wrist. “You can’t. It could send them into shock.”

“He’s right, sir.” affirmed Ja, who had his hand on Venus’s pulse point at her throat as he tried to find something in his med pack. “They need to sever the bond themselves. There’s nothing we can do.”

Venus cried out again, and Quaritch felt desperation claw at his belly, fighting at his throat.

He reached around her and pulled her close, tucking her under his chin.

“Listen to me kid. This will not redeem you, it will not make you feel any less guilty. You made a decision and you followed through. But it’s done.” he whispered.

Venus whined, and Lyle’s hand tightened around hers.

“He wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want you to go down with him. I don’t want you to go down with him. So come back. We’re not done.” Quaritch murmured.

Venus’s body jerked in his arms, and she wheezed as Tamar’s chest stuttered and heaved. Lightning illuminated their shared expressions of pain, and thunder drowned out the simultaneous scream they let out.

Tamar’s ribs expanded once more, then a big gust escaped him as his tanhì faded completely.

Quaritch looked down to find Venus’s knife buried in the thanator’s chest, her hand slightly shaking. Their queue’s fell from one another.

“Oel ngati kameie, ma Tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi ireiyo. Ngari hu Eywa saleu tìrea.” she whispered, and she removed her hand from Tamar, pulling it from Lyle’s grip. She moved her body away from Quaritch and laid against her brother, pressing her cheek to his side.

When she finally opened her eyes to look at him, he wished suddenly that she had shot him instead.

Because here she was, body pressed against something she had called ‘brother’, dead and cooling. Her eyes, empty and dead and blank, staring at him with a look so recognizable that it was like a bolt of lightning from the sky had hit him.

He didn’t need to be a genius at recognizing emotions to understand it.

It should have been you.

Her tail curled around her as she turned away, pressing her forehead down and against the corpse.

“Colonel, we should head back. There’ll be scavengers soon when they smell the blood.” called Prager, who had been watching the forest around them.

Miles touched Venus’s back to get her up, and she flinched away.

“No.” was all she said as she stayed kneeling, face to black skin.

“Venus, he’s gone. There is nothing for you to do now. I’m not letting you die here because you want to hug a corpse.” he said, irritation masking desperation in his tone.

She turned to look at him again, eyes full of rage and contempt and regret, and he wished again that she would look away.

“What is it you always say? ‘When one life ends, another begins’?” he tried, but Venus didn’t budge.

He sighed as he stood, gesturing for Ja and Prager to come over.

༄

Night had fallen, and they were still here.

Quaritch had decided to stay with Venus and keep watch while she stood vigil, allowing the others to go back to camp and rest. The plan was that it’d be only him, but Lyle had stayed as well.

They were camped on the lower branches of a nearby tree, rifles loaded and held at the ready incase anyone or anything decided to test Venus. Nothing had come. But they both knew that the scent of the dead body in the clearing below would be like a beacon, its flesh a blessing to any hungry creature.

“What are we going to do, Miles.” Lyle whispered, and Quairtch turned his head to him. His corporal rubbed his fingers against his brow, then his temple. “She doesn’t talk, not really. She sits and flies and stews with god knows what in her mind, and then something happens and she cracks. And for an instant it’s like you see her, through the wall and the shell. But it’s gone in an instant, and suddenly she’s laughing and coexisting. But it’s not her.”

“Remind you of someone?” Quaritch asked, and that partially broke Lyle out of his somber attitude. He chuckled, but the wrinkle between his brow didn’t smooth. “I guess you’re right. We deserve each other in that way.”

Miles relaxed slightly, though apprehension still kept his eyes on the tree line, searching and listening. “So what do you suggest, family therapy?”

Lyle’s tail whacked his back. “No, asshole. You’d hate therapy anyway.”

“And what makes you say that?” Miles asked, turning his head to raise his eyebrow at him.

“Well for one, you’d think you’re above it.” Lyle cleared his throat. “‘Why in hell would Ardmore suggest this shit? I don’t need some science puke turning me into a fuckin’ pansy.’” he said in an atrocious mockery of Quaritch’s accent.

He shoved him, and Lyle gripped the branch to keep his balance. “Careful, Corporal.” he growled, but Lyle simply laughed dryly.

“Don’t pull rank on me now, Quar. We’re in a tree talking about our problems while our kid sits in a field and mourns her dead thanator brother who she killed so you could live.” he said, ears flicking back.

And somehow Miles’s mind ignored everything else in that sentence and zeroed in on one. “Our kid?”

Lyle’s expression dropped. “No, not ours. Shit. Yours. Sully’s.” he amended.

Miles sensed the edge of casual in that sentence, electing to save that little slip of the tongue for a later discussion.

“So what do we do?” he asked, and Lyle gave him a grateful look.

“I think… she’s spent a lot of time learning us, figuring us out. She’s shown us much more patience than we’re worth. And I think…it’s time for us to extend her the same courtesy.” he said, voice trailing as he spoke.

Miles’s eyebrows raised. “Well hello there, wordsmith. Didn’t know you’d be joining us today.” he said, and Lyle scoffed.

“Shut up, Miles. I know the Jarhead jokes get pretty intense, but i’m not a fucking idiot.” he murmured. His expression softened. “I’m serious, though. It’s about damn time we start understanding her. She knows us better than we think.”

Before Miles could respond, a twig snapped, and a sound like a hyena laugh emerged from the trees. Venus raised her head as a group of viperwolves stalked into the clearing.

There must have been at least ten of them, calling to one another and tittering, and they hissed at Venus when they realized she was there.

Quaritch and Wainfleet raised their rifles, aiming them at the viperwolves nearest to her. Quaritch vaguely remembered the laughter, the hiss, then one of them leaping with its claws outstretched.

He brushed off the memory right as Venus raised her hand, fingers curling down to a fist.

She turned her face to them, and he nodded.

They lowered their guns.

༄

Venus slowly turned her body to fully face the pack, allowing them to see her lack of weapon. They didn’t come to kill her, but they would if they perceived her as a threat.

She did not step away from Tamar’s body, even as a few of the younger nantang tried their luck at scaring her off. She knew better than to take their snaps and growls as a true threat.

It was the pack mother that made her nervous.

She was older, with scars running down her face and neck. Claw marks from rivals and prey alike. Venus would be nothing to her.

But she did not move. She simply watched Venus with a curious gaze, calling to her with a voice that was usually used for young.

She sensed her grief, knew her despair. The weight of her attention felt heavy on Venus.

Please, I am grieving.

The nantang dipped her head.

My children are hungry.

Who was she to deny them. Tamar was no more. The body behind her was empty of spirit. It was only flesh and blood.

And yet.

She clung to its claw, holding it as she did when they were young. When her hand found their paws while they slept in the sun in the safety of their mothers presence.

One of the young viperwolves whined, and she noticed how his ribs poked at his skin.

Her gaze shifted back to the pack mother, and she took a step closer to Venus.

Slowly, she unsheathed her knife and turned, slicing three of Tamar’s quills from his frill. The nantang hissed at the appearance of her blade, but the pack mother stood her ground silently.

Venus stood, walking a few paces to stand in front of the pack mother. She dipped her chin.

The pack descended on the corpse, tearing into it eagerly as she walked to meet Quaritch and Wainfleet as they descended the tree.

Wainfleet reached for her, but she ignored him, waking ahead and back to the cave.

When they entered it, she found the squad awake, staring at her with a kind of hesitant curiosity. She turned to Lopez, who sat near the entrance.

“I’ll take first watch.” she said, and he opened his mouth to protest.

She shook her head, and he gave up, retreating to his sleeping bag.

She caught the glance that Quaritch and Wainfleet shared as she went to stand guard, alone with her thoughts for a few hours.

She scaled a tree just outside of the shelter, climbing to a branch where she could easily see the tree tops. She listened for the calls of animals, or the distant cries of ikran.

Only silence greeted her as thunder rumbled in the distance, and the rain finally stopped.

She brought her knees to her chest and cried.

masterlists.

translations:

Oel ngati kameie, ma Tsmukan - i see you, my brother.

Oel ngati kameie, ma Tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi ireiyo. Ngari hu Eywa saleu tìrea. - i see you, my brother, and thank you. your spirit goes with Eywa.

…yep.

taglist:

@xstarsmvxz @lisedanie @avatar4eva @xylianasblog @henhouse-horrors

#yep it’s angsty time #avatar the way of water #avatar #recombinant #avatar x oc #oc #recom lyle wainfleet #recom mansk #the way of water #jake sully #recom quaritch #breath of venus #venus sully #—botticelli blues ⋆｡˚#miles quaritch #lyle wainfleet #mansk #venus x mansk

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