#AND to a beautiful zukka fic i have not been able to find

[riverblujay]

there is no greater mourning than accepting after multiple hours that you will not be able to find a very good fic you suddenly had a hazy memory of. you can only hope it has not been deleted and that maybe, against all odds, it will return home to you someday

[bleekay]

ive had this unfinished fic sitting in my wip folder for six months and cant seem to go any further with it even tho i liked the set up. :( i dont think i'll ever finish it, but i hope its fine to share it anyway. really just zuko being introspective, romantic, and dumb. not gonna post on ao3 or anything, so warnings, i guess brief mention of child abuse, otherwise i dont think anything else. it's zukka, in case there was even a need to mention that. not beta'd. (notes at the end)

When Zuko was eight, he tripped over his own two feet playing and fell directly into a small table, upon which sat a decorative vase––a royal heirloom nearly two hundred and fifty years old, delicately painted with Fire Nation imagery around the lip, and two strong, winding dragons wrapped around its center, engulfed in flames––and, to his horror, watched the antique wobble precariously for several seconds before finally tipping and shattering into so, so many tiny shards across the floor. He would never forget the sound of it, as beautiful as it was sickening in its sharpness and volume, the echo of it reverberating throughout the massive, empty hallway of the palace.

Azula had immediately run to tell on him, and he had chased her frantically, fruitlessly, hoping to stop her before she could. Even barely on the cusp of seven years old, their father’s influence had already begun to twist her mind, peeking through in moments of gleeful cruelty that, to this day, Zuko wishes he’d been able to prevent, no matter that he, too, had only been a child.

Ozai’s punishment came swiftly. It was a quiet, calm thing most of the time––his father’s hatred––hidden behind a polite but distant smile; on occasion, though, his lips would curl in disgust, his eyes would harden, and he’d reveal his true nature.

The lesson Zuko was supposed to have learned was never quite clear to him. But, unwittingly, he had learned something. It was his crash course in fragility.

The vase, delicate and beautiful, broken so very easily. His sister’s moods, playing with him carefree one moment, merciless and callous to him the next. His father…

Really, nothing was ever as fragile as his father’s temper.

Back then, he still loved the man, respected him, idolized him even, and believed body and soul that the punishment fit the crime. Zuko had been careless, so perhaps, really, his father wasn’t being cruel; he was enacting justice, even if Zuko was too young to understand how.

Now, at least, he knows better. But still, lessons ingrained from childhood linger––that first thought when something happens, one that must be continually checked, acknowledged even when one knows that it’s wrong.

It’s why Zuko is so deeply afraid of this new, complicated, delicate… thing he’s found himself in with Sokka.

Sokka’s always been an affectionate person, so he isn’t so naïve to think something’s been there, unspoken, between them this whole time. But somewhere along the way, he started to notice a shift.

It was in the way Sokka’s hand always managed to find a home against him. Squeezing his shoulder in reassurance, staying there, warm and heavy, for several moments after. Placed lightly at the small of his back as he moved past. Fingers wrapped around the crook of his elbow to drag him away to a late lunch. A brief, tingling brush at the nape of his neck, where tiny wisps of his hair had stuck to skin with sweat after a sparring match. (He’d thought about that moment for days and days.)

The backs of their fingers barely sliding against each other as they walked side by side through empty hallways at night, Sokka unable to remedy his insomnia and Zuko restless from nightmares. That was all it was, at first. It happened sometimes. They walked. They commiserated. They almost-touched.

But then one night a pinky hooked around his own, hesitantly, loosely, as if the act itself was a question. And Zuko answered silently, gently turning his palm and lining each and every finger up with Sokka’s, then twisting them, sinking them between the gaps, pressing his fingertips against Sokka’s knuckles.

It felt right as soon as he did it.

Sokka had walked him back to his room that night, thumbed at his wrist, gazed right into his eyes, through him, and so slowly, so softly kissed the corner of his mouth. It had stirred up so many things in Zuko’s chest that the moment his door closed, he’d collapsed back against it, pressed a hand to his throat where he was trying to swallow his own heart, make it go back down where it was supposed to be instead of rising up to suffocate him, and tried not to set anything on fire.

The thing is––the thing is––

They don’t talk about it.

Sokka smiles at him, all gooey-eyed and warm. He expects his own face does some interesting things right back. They hold hands. They hug, far longer than is normal for friends. They kiss.

Oh, do they kiss. Zuko could kiss him forever, really. Sokka’s very good at it, and the more they do it, the more he seems to find just the right way to tilt their heads, the spots on his jaw and neck that make him shudder where Sokka holds him in place. Sokka breathes through his nose, and it comes out a warm puff against his cheek, and Zuko melts and––

And they don’t talk about it. They don’t really do any of it in front of other people, either, but Zuko doesn’t know if that’s out of courtesy or out of a desire to keep it secret.

It’s unnerving, not knowing, but Zuko doesn’t want to ruin a good thing by being careless, and whatever this is, this unnamed thing, it feels fragile.

Like that vase, he thinks. Beautiful, delicate, easy to shatter.

He imagines what might happen if he tried to ask. What is this? What are we? Do you have feelings for me the way I do for you? Is it okay that I think about you all the time? Can we do this forever? But the risk seems so insurmountably high. What if this means nothing to Sokka? A fling? A doomed summer romance? And what if it does mean something? What if it means everything? What does that mean for their friendship? What does it mean for their futures? What if it doesn’t work out? What if things change? What if, what if, what if.

He can almost hear his own heart breaking; it sounds a lot like ceramic smashing into pieces against a hard, polished floor, the echo deafening.

I love him, he thinks. He didn’t mean for it to happen. It was an accident.

It was probably inevitable.

...

[notes: sorry i ended it at such a horrible spot, i wrote a few more lines but it was leading up to plot that i hadn't written and felt like an even worse place to end it.

the plan for this was going to lead into a kintsugi metaphor. i've seen the concept talked abt before lots of times with regard to the avatar world, specifically the fire nation and zuko, so i realize it's a little odd to start off with zuko breaking something and it being a huge mistake, because of course the vase could be repaired, yes? if someone had taken the time and effort to put the pieces back together, to be patient and kind with the original piece while mending but not hiding the breaks. but in my mind, if kintsugi is a part of the traditions in atla-world cultures like the fire nation, i can't imagine it would extend to the fire nation royal family during the eras of sozin, azulon, and ozai. these fire lords didn't tolerate weaknesses; didn't accept or find beauty in imperfections. the vase zuko accidentally destroyed, ozai likely would have just ordered servants to dispose of it.

i'd planned to have zuko and sokka spend some time together, for zuko to really kind of settle in to the idea that he wasn't ever going to ask for more, and that he'd always stop sokka if he thought he was going to ask for more, simply because he was afraid of shattering what they have now. it definitely puts a bit of strain on their relationship, which is opposite to what zuko wanted. it forces him into an emotional conundrum; there is no 'staying this way forever'; it's either move forward, or let go.

he chooses option D, run away. to ba sing se. to uncle. who just so happens to own a very successful teashop. with many teapots and teacups. some of which have an interesting golden lightning pattern in them that zuko likes. so it's through a very deep and constructive conversation (with absolutely no hidden metaphors whatsoever *wink* we all know iroh is always very straightforward) that zuko learns that it's fine if things break, it's not the end of the world, because if you are willing to put in the time and effort and love, you can mend breaks, and make something different, not better or worse, but still beautiful, from the broken pieces. the risk is worth it.

so when sokka shows up in ba sing se, pissed, after chasing him down for some answers, zuko is ready to own up to his feelings. if their relationship falls apart, then it falls apart; they can always pick up the pieces and forge something new if that happens. not that zuko ever needed to worry about it in the first place.]

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

[queerenteen]

Your top five 🌊 Fanfics? Any fandom works

Running on Air by eleventy7

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

This is one of the first fanfics I read seriously, and I did it the day before my prelims paper.

I still don't regret it--this is one of the most hauntingly gorgeous things that I have ever read and builds up in a fantastic slow-burn with a shroud of mystery wrapped around it. Cannot recommend it enough.

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by reiya

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.

This is beautiful. I absolutely adore this au, with an amazing enemies to lovers scenario.

It is a what it could have been, perhaps even more dramatic than the original, and somehow, some things turn out the same anyway.

The Art of Burning by @hella1975

Zuko had never excelled at anything. Azula was a prodigy. Uncle always knew what to say. And Father... Father was strong, iron-like. But Zuko had only ever been good at surviving. Putting one foot in front of the other in a grim show of stubborn determination, gritting his teeth and bearing it. Survival was all he had ever been taught. He knew how to do it. So when he was kidnapped by the Southern Water Tribe, he expected to fight as he always had. He didn’t expect to be taught instead how to live.

In a warring land, the Water Tribe forgave the enemy in an act of defiance. For this, he was torn from them, and this time, his wounds won't heal so easily.

Forced back into nothing but survival, the last person Zuko expected to see was Hakoda's son. Hakoda was a promise of safety. The relentless blue of Sokka’s eyes was a promise of happiness. Zuko could have both if he just reached out his hands, but he found them clutching into fists. After all, he’d been burned one too many times.

But hey, at least between Hakoda and Sokka, Zuko could appreciate the family resemblance of pure, asinine stubbornness.

Can I just say how amazing this fic is?

I went into it for the zukka and instead got an absolute masterpiece, with some of the best character dynamics, plot and stunning writing.

I love it so much and I know that this is another one that I will keep coming back to when it's done.

Anachronism by chellethewriter

Catra clenches her fists. She won’t let it happen. She won’t endanger their future. “We can’t change anything. We’ll just have to wait, and do everything the same way we did before.”

Adora grabs Catra’s shoulders. Her grip is so tight, it’s nearly painful. “But do you realize what that means for us? Playing along. Letting things go the exact same way as before–”

Catra’s expression darkens. “I know,” she says, struggling to keep her voice from trembling. “You’ll have to leave. We’ll have to be enemies again.”

*** Years after defeating Horde Prime, Catra and Adora inexplicably wake up in the past—on the day that Adora first found the sword. If they're going to make it back to the present, they'll have to relive their past from start to finish, pretending to be enemies despite being in love. Despite being married. Despite knowing exactly how the story ends.

But it's not easy, waging war against the person you love most.

Okay, it's not easy to make Catra and Adora's past even more painful but this one really takes the cake.

Going through these horrible, painful events--pitted against the person you love most once again, just to get back to the future you remember?

It is breathtaking, highly recommend.

area cryptid upset no one bothered to inform him of his tragic backstory by crimsonseekers

“My life is a nightmare,” Dabi muttered blankly.

“Nah, this is hilarious,” Hawks said, and while he wasn’t explicitly laughing, Dabi knew that those weird little chirps he was letting out were pointed at him. “Imagine if we go through all this effort and you don’t even have some sort of dramatic background or tragic backstory to justify you being this emo, you’re just a hot topic junkie or something.”

“That’s fucking worse.”

Or,

Dabi has amnesia and keeps reading conspiracy theories about himself in an attempt to figure out who he is, gets the League in on it, and they dismantle organized crime, revolutionize society, and ravage the hero system in the process. Hawks suffers.

Dabihawks is such a good ship and this is god tier content right here. I read this fic and then two days later immediately reread it. Enough said.

(I really shot myself in the foot with the whole top 5 so instead, I'm just giving all the top fics from the fandoms that I have)

Lynchpin by @shanastoryteller

He can’t get Jin Guangyao’s words out of his head.

If he’d only believed in Wei Wuxian, if he’d only been willing to stand up for him, could it all have been avoided?

Yunmeng Siblings get to live happily ever after because Jiang Cheng changes the timeline.

The fix-it fic where the entire cultivation world is saved from ruination with the help of time travel and a good bit of communication.

Company by galori

You’ve never minded eating alone (before.)

Or: Asami and Korra are both intelligent, just in different ways.

Modern au where Asami is the CEO of a company with the stain of her father's legacy and Korra is an ecologist who wants to create and protect to the best of her abilities. Their paths intersect and once they do, there is no untangling them.

Not enough people have read this--everyone go read this now, it is absolutely amazing.

Okay, I have so many more fics that I want to talk about because these are all my novel-length fics but for now, here's my bookmarks (I love them all)

[that-was-anticlimactic]

just cause i feel like it, my top ten favorite fics written by @zukkaoru <3

1. it’s nice to have a friend — word count: 6,220 (3/3), mailee

idk why, but this fic got to me. it’s so beautifully and tragically written too. i just. words cannot describe how much i genuinely love this fic, so here’s the description and know that i am begging you all to read it:

“Mai?” Ty Lee whispers into the night.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad we’re friends.”

2. you’ll find me in the region of the summer stars — word count: 4,078 (1/1), mailee

this one. God. it’s so good. it’s the story of mai, ty lee, and the moon and how the moon is what tethers them to each other when they’re forced to be apart.

3. where fire & ice collide — 7,102 (1/1), zukka

it’s so funny. makes me cackle every freaking time. grace is a brilliant writer, especially when it comes to mai, and this is just. Everything. basically, mai realizes that zuko is hiding something and goes on a mission to find out what that is.

4. this ultraviolet morning light — 86,073 (8/8), zukka

it’s The fic ! i love it so very much, it’s grace’s zukka big bang fic where zuko and sokka end up getting distant and angsty and miscommunication and have to go undercover together and the angst is amazing and the fluff ahhh and the art for it? incredible.

5. i slithered here (from eden) just to sit outside your door — 4,535 (1/1), mai & sokka

this one is autistic mai and adhd / tourettic sokka and their relationship with info dumping. also snakes. and it is incredible and i love it so much and go read it now

6. only if you want to — 11,600 (1/1), kya ii

a beautiful fic about kya ii with sleep paralysis ft supportive sibling and lin and it’s so angsty but so soft and so good and it’s just. it’s amazing.

7. my calamitous love & insurmountable grief — 3,308 (1/1), zukka

zuko finds love poems written by sokka and is angsty because he wishes they were about him (they are) basically and it is amazing and i love it so very much

8. of all the stars, the fairest — 37,200 (7/7), mailee

can y’all tell that i really like grace’s mailee fics? this is their mailee baby written for the 18+ bb that’s a mailee fake dating au and i LOVE IT SO MUCH it’s so funny and so sad but so cute and so. THEY.

9. kiss me s(wheat)ly — 2,068 (1/1), jetru

this is by far the funniest fic i have ever read. like. holy trash, y’all. it cracks me up every freaking time and it’s so cute and so cooky and just. it’s so good. basically, haru has a wheat allergy and jet chews on wheat and they kiss and haru has an allergic reaction. i c o n i c.

10. never been in love (and it’s all good) — 6,710 (1/1), bumi ii /// a little bit of you & a little bit of me — 19,666 (1/1), jinora & ikki

these are tied because i have Not been able to read them yet due to my summer job, but imma start them as soon as i catch up on stuff i missed for. reasons. and have the mental capacity to truly cherish these (because i will Not read them when i am half asleep)

anyways, i know these will be up there as my favorites and i know that grace worked really freaking hard on them, so i wanted to shove these down everyone’s throats ! the bumi ii one is a 5+1 about him coming out as aromantic and the jinora & ikki one is an exploration of their relationship as siblings and boy am i excited to read them and you should to!

•••

okay ! this is it ! my top ten of grace’s fics ! other than the first one, i actually don’t really have an order? i tried to have an order but i am horribly indecisive so. no order.

anywho, just wanted to give my friend some appreciation because i was talking about how much i loved some of these earlier and felt like i should tell you all about how much i love them too !

[dl4draws]

hi there!

lil' preface so i don't come off as a weirdo: i'm somewhat new to tumblr shenanigans™ so idk if it's just normal that awesome writers and artists share a bit of their progress for creating something, but you're the only blog i've witnessed doing it so you're getting this ask.

i absolutely love it here. getting to listen to (or read about?) someone's projects in the works feels like such an awesome thing! you're sharing this passion of yours with us and letting us experience this joy with you?? you're letting us see little doodles and headcanons and even a playlisy?? OMG

again, idk if that's normal on here but to me (someone who does everything on their own because who would care about my silly little craft?) this is absolute pure generosity and kindness on your part and i will never not praise that. i can't really put into words what i'm trying to say here because as much as i love the english language, it's not my first language and i just don't know how to express this properly. i guess what i want to say is thank you? thank you for all the happiness you share, thank you for letting us come on this journey with you and thank you for talking about your passion. that's a scary thing to do but whenever i see someone doing that i will 100% always sit there and listen to them talk about something they care about a lot (even if i don't understand a single thing about the topic) and try to interact and let them know that someone always cares about their thoughts and projects, even if it's just a stranger on the internet, because i know what it's like to run against a wall of indifference and i don't want anyone to feel like that.

keep talking about things that bring you joy and keep sharing them, someone's always going to support you and cheer you on and get excited with you!

this got a lot longer than i wanted it to be but my point is you're amazing and keep doing what you do, no matter how much you want to share of it or how long it takes! there's always going to be support and someone who appreciates you and your work.

idk if this should be anon or not because i don't want to seem so incredibly weird and out of place with my long stupid ask here-- this feels so uncalled for

take this virtual hug

hi hi hi good morning, I am throwing my reputation away and say I’m about to cry

Okay so I’m answering this bit by bit! I don’t think it’s that rare to see a content creator share stuff about their writing/art! At least with the people I’ve surrounded myself, there’s always sneaky posts here, reblogs with tags and stuff about their characters! It’s always so much fun to see those, see people share little details about their work is always fascinating to me! Personally I adore sharing the process because I am having Too Much fun and being extremely chaotic and I think it’s cool to share me having only half a braincell with you all lol

I’m so glad you like it here in my little corner of tumblr!!! I’m not an oversharer in any aspect of my life usually but with aus i go full beast mode and start talking and good luck shutting me up lmao as of right now I don’t really have time for full drawings (which is exactly why the hanahaki au isn’t already finished). Getting to doodle for this au has helped me with wanting to draw but not being exactly able to, and with getting stuff off my mind! I’m not very forgetful but with ideas I usually think about them, have a Good Laugh tm, proceed to think about it for half an hour and then forget about it, unless I scream about it to someone (or just make a post and announce it to you all).

One thing u might not know about me is that I make playlists for everything. If u go through my spotify playlist you’ll see many playlist, but I have so many secret ones bakshssk making a playlist for an au or for a fic (sometimes I make playlists for fics I read!)

I absolutely adore hearing about everyone’s ideas, like you said, listening to someone talk about something they’re passionate about is always so fascinating!! And it makes me so happy to see that someone trusts me enough to open their mind and share their ideas with me, even if (again like you said) I understand nothing of the topic! Honestly I am extremely thankful for you, and everyone who has ever interacted with me or my silly ideas. It hypes me up so much to see you all liking and sending me stuff about it (every time I get a random ask about something I said, or a headcanon or anything 25 years are added to my life ngl). I never thought people would enjoy my aus, be it the hanahaki one or the street racing one (or the beauty and the beast one!!!) You guys really are amazing!! And I totally get what you mean with running with a wall of indifference, I’ve been there and it’s not fun, but I’ve learned who to share with and who not to share with, and that’s okay (for me). I’m not a very good talker but I’ve been told I’m good listener, so if anyone ever has any problems, anything they’d like to talk about please never hesitate on sending me an ask or a message!! (zukka wingfic anon I’m still thinking about you)

Nooooo, please I didn’t find this weird at all!!!! I actually feel so flattered I haven’t been able to stop smiling :D it makes me so happy to see you enjoy my silly content, and that makes me want to create more of it!!!

I hope you have a wonderful day/night, and know that I’ll be thinking about this all month hakahaksb

[peachcitt]

fanfic year in review - 2020

hey laddies i was tagged by both @miabrown007 and @strangerahne to do this, so without further ado here we go!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished: 

Bone Tea (march) // All These Selfish Feelings (march) // Doomed from the Start (may) // Wouldn’t it be Nice (may) // my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room (may) // screw the classics, and screw you for believing in them (june) // Friendship Bracelets (june) // Those Benevolent Stars (june) // the dark and the stained glass watchers (july) // Bloodsucker (july) // Messy Advances (july) // Happy Endings, the Sun, and Other Steps to Madness (july) // Guessing Game (august) // Passion Fruit Sunset [zine piece, currently unavailable] (september) // Home Coming [zine piece, currently unavailable] (november) // here (november) // bread and oranges (november) // clarity (november) // burgundy, near black (december) // About Emma Martin (december) // cherries (december) // falling, flying (december) // aloe-infused fuzzy socks (december)

23 fics??? okay well looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

2) Number of words written:

219,184 words (which includes my unfinished fics on ao3 and the wips i haven’t posted)

again looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

3) Your most popular fic:

friendship bracelets - the first in the series of my homoerotic college au zukka fics. honestly? i can’t even say im surprised

4) Your personal fav:

MAN this is hard. okay it’s gotta be a four-way tie between bone tea, those benevolent stars, home coming, and screw the classics and screw you for believing in them but really i could be lying because i wrote so much this year (i guess now last year?) that i was really really proud of 

5) Your fav scene:

okay i have a lot of favorites but for right now i’ll say: the scene in chapter 3 of those benevolent stars when adrien and marinette are sitting on the banks of the seine and they talk about their favorite colors and adrien’s soulmate - it’s such a quiet and gentle moment, and because you know that their favorite colors are based off each other’s eyes but only marinette knows that and because you know adrien is talking about his soulmate to his soulmate and she knows it but he doesn’t. it’s full of such beautiful, tragic dramatic irony that i just love so so much

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

hm okay the last few chapters of bone tea were definitely challenging not only because of, like, the big fight scenes (which, im not really comfortable writing fight scenes) but also because i had take all of the mess of emotions in bt and wrap it all up into a conclusion that needed to be satisfying. the same could be said about happy endings, the sun, and other steps to madness (minus the fight scene part)

writing impure - my changeling jim au fic - has also been a fun challenge because i basically watch trollhunters episodes as i write, examining each line of dialogue and each character interaction and seeing how that scene or relationship would be changed by the fact that jim is a changeling. it was also a little challenging to keep everything fresh and new - especially at the times when the dialogue from the show stayed the same in the fic, but so far, im really really happy with the way the fic is going

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

off the top of my head are these two lines, both from screw the classics:

It was the ‘Daisy, Daisy, Daisy’s, over and over. Like her name conveyed some sort of deeper meaning that she expected Daisy to be able to understand. Like if she repeated it enough, it would become a sort of prayer that God would listen to, that He would enact to make Daisy put her fists away for once in her pitiful life. It was just “Daisy, Daisy, Daisy” over and over until her name stopped sounding like a name, like a word, and it was just a sound to fill the silence so that neither of them would have to talk about the way Basira’s touch lingered each time she wiped blood away or the way Daisy would always sit so that her knees touched Basira’s even though they were on the floor and there was more than enough room for them to breathe different air.

and

But sometimes Jon was easier than Basira. He didn’t have any of Basira’s softness - he was all edges and sharp lines. His elbows were basically knives, and his hips were edged with broken glass.

the first paragraph i really love because there’s almost a rhythm to it - like poetry - and i love the sound of it and all that it means in the context of the fic. 

the second little bit i just love because every so often i think about it and i love the imagery and metaphor and the way it fits jon - in canon and in this fic. in this fic, they’re all in high school so jon is gangly and skinny and bony and in general, he’s just abrasive and a little rude. this description of him i just love (and the way i described him from martin’s pov in doomed from the start; “Jonathan Sims looked, even from a distance, as if he was perpetually smelling something awful. His features, just left of handsome, were marred by furrowed eyebrows and a distasteful frown.”)

8) A comment that touched you:

LITERALLY SO MANY????? the comments on the final chapter of bone tea, telling me that the story was something that they loved and found comfort in, the long comments on any of my fics detailing their exact favorite parts, the comments that were just short jokes that made me laugh out loud - literally i can’t pinpoint one. im just so thankful to have written things that people respond to with such kindness and love

9) Something that inspired your writing:

music!!!!!! i found myself making playlists for a few of my fics this year or listening to specific old playlists of mine for the right mood for a fic, and it’s really inspired me to write

also, as always, my own personal experiences. i thought and felt a lot this year, and i think in every single one of the fics i posted this year, you can probably find a central thought or feeling driving it that no doubt comes from my personal life

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

finishing bone tea and tying the title to the fic!!!!!!!! finishing happy endings and also tying that title to the fic!!!!!! getting accepted into two different zines and working with two different amazing artists and completing those fics!!!!!!!! literally writing anything at all!!!!!!!!!

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

i think mainly i just want to write, you know? i want to stop putting so much pressure on myself, because this past year i put so much pressure on myself that i was constantly feeling like i was underperforming (which was, like, super untrue, but you know how it goes) so when i wasn’t writing i felt like i was wasting time. i mean, don’t get me wrong, i had so much fun writing and creating all of these things that im so so proud of, it’s just the space in between writing sessions that i want to let myself breathe in. i don’t want to dread thinking about writing for fun anymore because that’s not fun

besides that, i think my other goals are to just continue forward with my unfinished projects - impure, the new wave, the bone tea extras - and to officially start the other two long fic ideas i have for mlb that ive been really excited about for a long while. this past year i wrote a lot of one shots (like. so many. oh my god) so maybe this year i might focus on long projects. who knows though definitely not me it’ll be a surprise for all of us

=

anyway that’s all!! thanks mia and strangerahne for tagging me!! ive been needing a lot of reminders lately that i have, in fact, written this year, and having to, like, do math and scroll through my ao3 page and all my google docs has been really enlightening so thanks so much for this

i tag: @lnc2, @chatnoirinette, @deinde-prandium, and @rosekasa! y’all don’t have to do this, but i’d love to see how y’all felt about your works this year and also to see y’all love yourselves very much because you deserve it. also literally anyone can do this you can just say i tagged you i don’t mind it’ll be our secret - i highly encourage it because it’s very sweet and very fun to look back on all you’ve accomplished this year

<3<3<3<3

[backhurtyy]

7, 10, 13

7. what is you favourite sentence/paragraph? read it to us! (asker can choose what fic)

so i am.... not gonna read it out loud here are two of my favorite things i’ve written, from (hope that i’m able to be) all that you need

“I’m not going to be able to give you what you need, Sokka! Or what you want, or whatever. I’m not going to be able to kiss you, or to… be intimate with you, or anything like that! That’s not something I want, and it’s not something I can change! And I led you on, and made you believe that it was a possibility, when it isn’t .”

and

“If I have to give up one little thing like a kiss to get all the rest of that, then… That seems pretty worth it to me.”

both of these are just really raw, very real thing- one i’ve felt before myself, and one that i hope to hear someday- and so it was just.... really important to me to write those lines, and i think they ended up being really emotional and beautiful.

10. what word do you keep using like it’s going out of style?

technically i already answered this but i thought of another which is said.... the eternal struggle of trying to find a dialogue word other than said.....

13. do you make playlists for when you write? if so, share!

i do, but mostly just for my multi chaps. one shots are written to a specific song. but anyways, for the spark that lights the fire, most of it has been written to my playlist, astronomical 🪐✨. and then my zukka big bang fic has a playlist, but i’m not going to share that until it’s published because.... spoilers :/

(send me fic writer asks!)