#AND winter was mentally ill too! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

timeisacephalopod · 11 months

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The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

#winters ramblings #seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have #to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God??#what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power??#these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want #perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no #if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao #not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion #have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians #wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole #which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist #doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because #believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop #so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know #temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy #like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems??#youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian #of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem #its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad #because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem #because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people #and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their #religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what #morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about #it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right #can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts #who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand #maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!

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paperbag1999 · 2 months

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i’m someone who sees things in like constant shades of grey and i quite often try to see the light side of things and i think i’m constantly reminded of all the great stuff i have in my life. also i am full of gratitude all the time and also every time something bad happens to me i’m like yknow what this makes sense🫶 all these bad things suck but they lead to so many amazing things i’m hyper aware of the butterfly effect. so uhm i’m a pretty resilient person if i do say so myself. so today when i came to the realization of OH. i’m having a BAD YEAR!

#literally got picked on by a prof in december that like momentarily zapped all my curiosity for everything academic #family stuff that actually makes me wanna die so bad #a couple ocd episodes that made me go insane #severely boring winter semester #my cat got sick and i drained my entire savings account #BROKE AS SHIT #also the fucking emotional stress of having my new cat get critically ill and almost dying #insane arguments with my mom realizing i don’t feel comfortable in my home <4 #down bad severely down bad for a man #non stop work my life is non stop deadlines #two back to back courses that like took over my entire summer didn’t get a break at all #didn’t get the internship i wanted more than life itself #(which ended up being a positive but still)#underemployed up until three weeks ago #MENTALLY ILL!!! STILL #constant chronic pain and nausea that is unexplained #lost enough weight to see my ribs cause i couldn’t fucking eat #all my friends gone this summer #just feel blue so often #so many amazing things happened this year and i am excited and i still love life #but damn i feel beaten down like a dog #oh and did i mention the ongoing stress of watching your people get genocided through the internet :)#the absolute erosion of identity that like you already felt so disconnected from #as you watch the place you yearn for more than anything get completely nuked off the earth :)#and actually your moms homeland isn’t enough they need to start bombing your dads homeland too ;)

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omegawolverine · 11 months

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are you also unfortunately falling into the depths of the mcu

ive Been in the depths of mcu since civil war came out where have u been

#shit self #i had a big mcu phase when civil war came out and then like the new spideeman movies came out and venom plus deadpool #ive hyperfixated on too many mcu movies to not be a little mentally ill about it but the current state of mcu is so bad that its like im #basically only here for spiderman deadpool and venom #i was also super into xmen growing up so that adds a layer i think #i watched the falcon winter soldier series and a bit of loki #saw the recent thor movie and that was rly bad #and since then i dont think ive seen anything marvel #i kinda just read fics for it from time to time but otherwise stay outta it #mcu is such a mixed bag #sorry for giving u all this idk if u wanted details but i gave them #asks #delilah tag 🌻#quackitytheduck

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mainfaggot · 6 months

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guys i think I found something that makes me want to kill myself LESS oh my god

#im acting like this is some grand revelation but get this: literature #i used to read/write/analyze/study various languages so intensely in hs but by the time i hit 17 i was so mentally ill i couldn't do #anything but stay in my bed and house in general i was like so horribly suicidal until march 2022 ..#anyway enough back story like last year was rough too i was suicidal during most of winter and spring too..#but.#two semesters of advanced spanish. a lot of forcing myself out of my comfort zone later. still reeling from feeling idiotic and undeserving #of opportunities and praise. i have realised. i quite like this in comparison to everything else #am i still dealing with major depression? yeah. and the anxiety and the other thing too but its more bearable for the 80 minutes #im in Spanish class dissecting sentence structure and analyzing literary devices #so yeah. i had a good class today! highlight of my day was the morning lol #i fear for the rest of the day going to shit but its okay. at least i had a good hour so far today. a whole hour and thirty minutes!!!!#my spanksh professors have been so nice and cool i really wish them all the best #*spanish #¡Viva Latinoamérica! fr fr #z.post

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theclosetedskeleton · 10 months

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I really dont wanna go to north carolina for winter break why would i wanna spend my time with people who dont give a shit about me anyways

#looking at you my old close friend !!!#uahghg i dont want to spend winter break with my moms friends family and other family friends #ill have to see her again too #and i know my parents are gonna get mad at me if i dont speak and 'act normal'#why would i wanna speak to someone who ignored me consistently or stay in the house i had one of the worst mental states of mine in #closet rambles again on tumblr

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doodlboy · 11 months

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It's been a day

#hungry #got in2 a fight with my spawnpoint and went back 2 my room while she and my brother got dinner #3 hours later she decides to ask if I'm hungry or if i want something to eat #3 HOURS AFTER THEY HAVE A WHOLE ASS MEAL #fucking- oh goodie! master has decided to feed elias! elias will have enough food to make it through winter!! like fuck off at that point #and earlier she called me all kinds of slurs for mentally ill and disabled ppl bc my DOCTOR told me to wean off my wellbutrin bc #it doesn't fuckin work #like damn fuck you too now i know how u feel abt me being depressed w anxiety and probably adhd or autism like what the fuck #I'm tired #i dont even want to bother with food anymore today I'd rather just go to bed. ive done it b4 i dont reallt care #im too exhausted to care #mini vent #mini rant #elliot rambles

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erraticroses · 1 year

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...........

#tw eating disorder #like a massive tw #like an i personally wouldn't read this because it would trigger me massive tw #after some events in my life happened i started working out to feel like i have agency over my own body and to not fall back into my ed #but #when does working out stops sucking mentally? like i feel both great and bad at the same time and #i know it's because exercise was a big part of my ed and now i ser my body changing and i know i can make it change a lot more #in a way i kinda want it to. is like having a charged gun at all times but the metaphor falls short when i realize some thoughts are..there #like not there *there* but there. tangible. every time my body changes #and it makes me sick because i want to be normal i want to recover i want to have healthy goals and want to experience #having specific body goals as a normal person and i just... can't. because i always take it a little bit too far.#i want to be able to focus on the healthy goals i have like having more stamina. being faster. being stronger. feeling like my body is mine.#and to not focus on that part of ne that tells me i should look like a walking corpse and it's so frustrating.#because im technically closer to feeling good in my own skin than I've ever been (without the risk of dying i mean)#technically the healthiest I've been since the lowest point of anorexia. and there's still a part of me that tells me #i should send all that progress down the rain and get the results i subconsciously never stopped wanting #and it's sick. fucked up. i hate that mental illness and how it just won't fucking go and at the same time i feel like #if fully recovered i would lose a big part of me. and that's fucked up. because i shouldn't want that. I'm doing better now.#why do i still crave bones and dizziness and lightheadedness and crying in winter because it's too cold #why do i still crave being in pain because sitting hurts and no energy to leave the car and my losing more years in that hellhole #it's sick. fucked up. twisted. i don't want to be ill anymore but i relapsed and saw triggering content today and realized #it was never impossibly thin bodies what did it for me. never the look of a magazine model. it was bones. always have to take it too far #fucking sick and twisted. i know i have to continue to choose recovery and being happier. but damn how much i hate anorexia #what it did to me and what it still does to my mind

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void-tiger · 2 years

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Unlike Marlin, I refuse to not have an inner life and hobbies even if my chronic illness and mental health dictates my life, too.

#tiger’s roar #harvest moon another wonderful life #story of seasons #here’s to hoping he’s not sopping wet cardboard in the remake as ‘matthew’#(also like. why I always married gustafa. he’s at least Interesting to talk to even after marriage and doesn’t compare MC to the Rival!!))#(and Keeps Up His Hobbies!! I wish the spouses LEFT THE FARM and carried on #(but at least gustafa still plays his lute (and hosts the Summer and Winter festivals))#…anyway. having Disability and Mental Illness and Unemployment/Unenrollment over my head. SUCKS.#but I Refuse to not have MY OWN interests. even if participation has to sit on the backburner #until 1) treatment works and/or 2) I can figure out a balance of flair/rest or a medium that’s less painful #((briefly marking up my score and rapidly turning pages HURT for Hours.#(and…I don’t even get to take it home to practice/none of the folders are assigned))#(guess I’ll just go OW every rehearsal… and prolly say Screw It. doodle on the music too.#(get kicked out for doodling or passive aggressively forcing assigned folder #(so I only gotta deal with ONE Flareup every time we get new music.)

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skoulsons · 2 years

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i cant stop thinking about winter is going to play out I’m so sorry. they’re outside when the hug happens, so that’s intriguing to me. MAYBE there’s the initial embrace in the restaurant like in the game, they get out, and she kind of has a moment and Joel brings her back? So that’s the hug we see in that promo? maybe that’s just me hoping 😭 but just thinking about any extra scenes we’ll get of her taking care of him in that basement. Maybe the scenes that were in Left Behind of her tying him to Callus on that sled or stitching him up. Or thinking about Joel waking up and his panic that sets in when Ellie’s not beside him. man if they included that line of “where is she!? One way or another you’re gonna tell me!” that Joel shouts once he starts taking fire. THE TORTURE SCENE. Her and David’s fight in the restaurant. The both of them sneaking around the town. Maybe even more scenes post-David of them. Ellie struggling with what happened and Joel trying to help her through it. Maybe their camp that night. I CANT STOP THINKING

#kind of pissed the whole show isn’t dropping at once #i need to watch all of winter right now #waiting every week for a new episode might just drive me insane #ooo the mental illness we’re all about to be subjected to #i cant wait to watch YouTube reactions too #especially from people who know the game #but even those who don’t and it’s their first time experiencing this #the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams

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timeisacephalopod · 2 years

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Being into true crime means you have to listen to everyone and their dog call serial killers mentally ill not for displaying symptoms of mental illness (none of which are murder, let's be reminded), just for being killers, and then having to explain to those people that it's wildly offensive and abelist to say all killers are mentally ill simply because you can't fathom the idea that people who make horrible choices in life might not actually be mentally ill. Like cops kill people all the time, so do soldiers, but no one says they're mentally ill for killing people so obviously that's not the only qualifier or even a qualifier people use outside of passing the buck of any deeper look into systems of power off to mental illness but only when it's convenient.

And before someone says mentally well people don't kill people 1- yes they do you can be mentally fine and kill someone (self defense for example) even if you might not be so fine mentally afterwards. But also not being mentally well doesn't mean you have a mental illness either, and I think that's where the neurotypicals get confused. That and they don't like that people like them can kill people too even though "normal" people kill people all the fucking time the military is literally a job centered around that guys stop calling killers who had no sign of mental illness mentally ill.

#narcissist #fandom #winters ramblings #jeffery dahmer was mentally ill. ted bundy wasnt mentally well but he did not appear to have a mental illness #being a serial kilelr doesnt mean youre mentally ill and being mentally ill doesnt make anyone a serial killer stip acting like #ONLY mentally ill people ever do crazy shit to people its ignorant to say the least.#this is such a huge pet peeve of mine too lmao like stop calling everyone you dont like mental illnesses #being into true crime also means explaining a thousand times that isnt synonymous person you dont like #true crime really is a womens space as far as goes amd its real disheartening to see so many people #like FULLY convinced that only mentally ill peolle commit violent crimes. tahts so fucked #especially when people withental illness are more likely to be the VICTIM of violent crime than the perpetrator #anyway stop fucking saying people who commit violent crimes and ONLY violent crimes are mentally ill #probably a lot more mentally ill people stealing shit honestly

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imsosry-sir · 7 months

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i feel like people who get the “minimum 2 week duration” depressive episodes r the same type of mfs who have 2-3 day periods 💀

#looook #ANY depression isn’t fun #but babe i’ve been here like 6 years at this point i wish #well technically the RLLY bad part was only like 3 of those years 😌#tbf i think it’s safe to say at this point it’s become chronic so it can’t rlly be a direct comparison #but still #it gets worse in winter too ☺️#clearly god has his favorites #and i clearly didn’t make the cut #(period being a consistent 7-8 days as well)#depression #depressed #mental health #mentally ill #mental illness #mental health disorders #mental disorder #periods #fuck periods

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jam-n-jay · 8 months

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God I fucking hate January and February so goddamn much actual worst months of all time no contest

#christmas is literally winters only saving grace #and snow #snow is rlly cool #but omfg too straight months of mostly gray skies freezing cold weather #i just get so depressed #no joke my mental health TANKS every january and febuary #like clockwork #months #seasons #season discourse #?!?!#idk if thats an actual tag worth using LOLLLLL #listen ill never be the biggest summer defender even if im biased towards it #because i understand yeah. it kinda sucks a lot of the time #but like its LEAGUES better than winter for me #winter has half of december. thats it. everything else sucks balls #winter has the ｡*⁠.⁠✧vibes⁠✧.*｡ and literally nothing else

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cry-ba-bys · 8 months

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YOU'RE AN ANGEL I'M A DOG OR YOU'RE A DOG AND I'M YOUR MAN YOU BELIVE ME LIKE A GOD I DESTROY YOU LIKE I AM

#Rant ahead I'm already sorry but yk. I'm actually not.#My mental health has been so bad in the last months and right now it feels like I will just never leave the stage of being a mentally ill #Loser. I know I've made so much progress over the years but right now everything hurts again and I feel more alone than ever. Maybe that's #Also why I made this blog but I'm not ready for that thought yet. I built such an amazing social circle with genuinely the most amazing #people ever around me and now I feel like I've destroyed everything again by just not answering them and completely isolating myself for #Fucking months and I can't tell if it's because my friends actually hate me now (which tbf I understand #I love them nonetheless.)#Or if it's just my bad mental state that's making me belive that #That and everything else that just seems to be going wrong is just so so much for me right now. I don't know how long I can do this anymore #But I also don't know any way out of this #I always end up like this and it's so annoying. How am I supposed to ever be a functional adult when talking to people is too much for me?#How am I ever supposed to believe someone can love me when I'm just the way I am #God I hate myself so much.#A few days a week I see one of my friends on the bus when we have to go to work and we chat until it's my stop. Its never more than 5 #Minutes and it's always about school or work and because of that I feel more alone than ever. How am I ever supposed to built meaningful #Friendships If I know after next winter our conversations will just revolve around meaningless shit again. We used to joke about #Building a utopia through political action and we used to sit in a kitchen until 3 am and talk and talk and talk but it all felt so #Meaningful cause we were together and that made everything better. And now I talk to one of them if so happen to catch the bus at the same #Time and we talk about school. It fucking sucks #And it's all my fault

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cherrygarden · 9 months

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,

#i don't know why i was so against a seasonal affective disorder diagnosis #(yes i know my competitiveness and need to be Special and Unknowable applies to my mental illness too)#but after this winter i just cannot deny it anymore #i was feeling hopeful and so so happy in october and then days started getting shorter and suddenly i couldn't get out of bed #i'm gonna roll into my psychiatrist's office in february like hi......... you were right #everytime she brought it up i got so defensive like #''no it's not SAD i just have cyclical depression that comes and goes in waves that often (but not always) coincide with the weather!!!!''#and it's true i'm depressed in the summer too some years because my depression is also always just. there. lurking #but it most definitely follows this specific pattern #i can't believe i willingly planned for having THREE WINTERS IN A ROW!!!#with autumn in the middle yes but still #i caught some summer days in august and i'll get some in february too but not enough #and i was worried about it!! i was!!!!! but my psychiatrist had too much faith in me #and yeah i guess i do have some coping mechanisms and some knowledge and medication and i'm not suicidal or sh so that's a win #i still feel miserable and it still fucking sucks #it specially sucks because i love winter and cold weather too!!!!!

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bleuberrygliscor · 2 years

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As a concept, I love all creatchures, but not when they enter my home uninvited and fucking jump-scare me in my own fucking home. And I especially do NOT LIKE IT when my fucking own brain downloads that fear as a visual /tactile hallucination for later.

#rem rambles #i hate winter ONLY for this reason.#my neighbor next door is barely in her home so they all live in her house. and then when she comes back they rush over to us #since our houses are connected. and we know where the main hole is. but its behind a bolted down dishwasher....#big enough gap for them to get through. too small for us to get to it to seal it...#and i would fucking kill it the way i used to #but im cleaning. i cant control where he explodes....i dont want to have to clean that up..#so i just have to sit here and play the 'hey is this real?' game. the fun game where i grab the closest person who isnt hallucinating #and ask for confirmation. really enjoy being open about my mental illness to my family and friends... thanks jerry. godbless.

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jupiae · 2 years

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Me: *is ill and has a really bad cold with all of the classic symptoms*

Also me: *trying to figure out if my room is warm or if I have a fever*

The answer is fever. I have a fever.

#its winter and my radiator is broken #my room is definitely not warm #now I'm too cold #i am ill #mentally and physically #i have a cold

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