#ANYWAY MANIFESTING FOR THE ACTUAL RACE

[zen-not-a-llama]

Your boys are starting next to each other!!

ALEX SPRINT WIN TOO!!! also FABIO ON POLE PLEASE GOD LET ME GET A PODIUM WITH THESE THREE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

[muxas-world2]

Dam yuki didn’t ’t even let the body get cold 😭

[collecting--stardust]

Literally grieving because the website that has all the MotoGP videos (the one I have been downloading old races with commentaries in Czech or Russian) change the policy of the site due to the new European DSA legislation or whatever it is and acts like a private Google drive where you can only view your own stuff and cannot publicly share it. Now I'm left stranded and need to start searching all over again 😕

[l4ndoflove]

simp...ly lovely

feat. max verstappen

lyrics you: a worldwide renowned singer. max: four-time f1 world champion... and apparently your biggest fan?

maddie corny title, corny faceclaim, definitely corny concept, but i had SO MUCH fun writing it (if you want more smaus, send in your ideas!)

faceclaim @.lalalalisa_m

ynofficial

❤️ 3.8M 💬 18.2K

liked by tatemcrae, oliviarodrigo, maxverstappen1 and others

ynofficial singapore was UNREAL tonight. thanks to every single one of you for making it possible, i love u all <3 (still can't believe this was the last show tbh, miss u already)

asia tour over for now, see you guys soon xx

comments

tatemcrae ATE

ynofficial you can't spell ate without tate

❤️ by tatemcrae

user1 MOTHERS

user2 their friendship is my roman empire

user3 collab when???

user4 yn x t8 would be the end of me

oliviarodrigo prettiest girl everrrrr 💞

ynofficial back at you liv 💞💞💞

user5 AWWW

spotify our favorite pop princesses 💕

❤️ by ynofficial and oliviarodrigo

user6 prettiest besties alive fr

user7 the matching heart emojis 🥹

user8 people need a ynolivia tour ASAP

user9 i am people people is me

user10 YES PLEASE 💳💥💳💥💳💥

user11 the duality of woman

user12 i swear like how is that the same person

user13 good girl 🫦 vs good girl 😚

user14 LITERALLY

user15 if girlhood is a spectrum was a person:

user16 "miss you already" JUST ADD NEW DATES???

ynofficial working on it 🫶

user16 oh

user17 LMAO IT ACTUALLY WORKED

user18 @.user16 the hero we deserved 👏

user19 wait so new dates actually confirmed!?

user20 omg chill she didn't say anything yet

user21 BODY. IS. TEA.

user22 outfit too 🙂‍↕️

user23 don't forget the makeup!

user24 am i the only confused f1 fan here or

user25 NO BECAUSE SAME

user26 so we're all seeing max in the likes right

user27 apparently

user28 max verstappen being part of the yn fandom was not on my 2025 bingo card

user29 are we sure he didn't like this by accident 😭

user30 that sounds like something he would do yes

user31 i hate to break it to you but he's been at it for the past three weeks

user32 guys he liked ALL her tour posts

user33 SIMPly lovely huh?

user34 LOL BYE

user35 plot twist is plot twisting

f1 and ynofficial

❤️ 3.2M 💬 38.9K

liked by maxverstappen1 and others

f1 coming soon... @.ynofficial 🎤✨️

05.04.25 | 21:00 utc

#japanesegp

comments

user36 who is this and why is she on my fyp

user37 what about focusing on the race instead? just a thought

user38 and the earth kept spinning

user39 world before: 🌍 world after: 🌍

user40 no one asked 😍

user41 YN STANS HOW ARE WE FEELING ABOUT THIS

user42 f1 fan here, i have no idea who she is and i couldn't care less

user43 okay?

user44 this is exactly why f1 "fans" scare me

user45 anyways I'M SO EXCITED AAAHH

user46 me too! i missed her tour but i bought tickets to the race so now i get both... 🫠

user47 ugh you're so luckyyyyy

user48 f1 x yn fans living their best life rn

user49 OH THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GOOD

user50 face card never declines 🛐

user51 🔥🔥🔥

user52 mommy 🥵

user53 if this is an april fools' joke it's not funny

user54 PLS IT HAS TO BE REAL

user55 🕯manifesting hard🕯

user56 may our prayers be answered 🙏

user57 🍀🍀🍀

user58 you're not normal

user59 why is everyone in the comments so mad 💀

user60 fr like get a life

user61 forget everything the dutchman did it again

user62 he's so real for that

user63 DUDUDUDU HE'S DOWN BADDD

user64 the real question now is can suzuka handle these two goats

f1 guess we'll see 😉

user65 SCREAMING

ynofficial

❤️ 6.8M 💬 40.4K

liked by f1, maxverstappen1, oliviarodrigo and others

ynofficial quali now, sound check later 🥂🏁

comments

oliviarodrigo babe you're GLOWING

ynofficial it's the suzuka weather ☀️

f1 keep an eye out for our next pole sitter 👀

ynofficial on it 🫡

❤️ by maxverstappen1

user66 *insert leonardo dicaprio gif here*

user67 BRO THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T NOTICE

user68 he's so confident he'll get pole 😭

user69 he will just for her 🗣🗣🗣

user70 stay delulu folks ✊️😔

ynofficial i believe in him 🙃

user71 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM

user72 i'm already way too invested in their dynamic

user73 new ship to obsess over unlocked

user74 now my life is complete again 😌

user75 do you people really have nothing better to do in your free time?

user76 as a ferrari fan the only other available option is depression so no 🥰

user77 @.user75 we're good thanks 👍

user78 why is she here again?

user79 let her breathe ffs

user80 still genuinely don't understand where all the hate came from

user81 maybe it's because she has nothing to do with f1?

user82 she's not the first celebrity they've invited tho???

user83 i fear this argument is going nowhere

user84 neither is our girl but y'all aren't ready for that conversation

user85 PERIOD

f1gossippofficial

❤️ 62.8 K 💬 23.3K

f1gossippofficial max verstappen was seen attending yn's concert last night in suzuka!

comments

user86 you don't say

user87 *20 missed calls from lando*

user88 are we supposed to be surprised?

user89 yeah like any other driver so what

user90 who cares

user91 celebrating his pole position in style i see

user92 like a winner 🙂‍↕️

user93 he is a man of culture after all

user94 it's giving supportive boyfriend

user95 they're not even together

user96 exactly

user97 a girl can dream 🤷‍♀️

user98 okay but that clip of him singing along was genuinely so funny

user99 man knew the lyrics word by word

user100 where can i find it???

user101 it was on lando's stories i think(?)

user102 bro woke up and decided to expose max's ass

user103 very demure and mindful of him

user104 he did god's work 🙏

user105 lando is actually maxyn's number 1 supporter and no one can change my mind

user106 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT YN IN THE FIRST PIC HELLO ⁉️⁉️⁉️

user107 how do you know it's her 💀

user108 i mean i don't think he would look at lando like that

user109 maybe charles was on stage

user110 her smile omg 🥹

user111 she was congratulating max btw

user112 JAIL

user113 STOP SHE WAS BLUSHING SO HARD HAHAHA

user114 they're in love your honor

user115 i'm so not normal about them

redbullracing

❤️ 7.6M 💬 42.3K

liked by ynofficial, maxverstappen1, lando and others

redbullracing it was simply lovely meeting you @.ynofficial ❤️

comments

user116 PARENTS

user117 OMG ADMIN SHIPS IT TOO

user118 wasn’t this a lestappen fanpage

user119 💔

user120 charles crying in the corner because he's not max's main love interest anymore

redbullracing dw he's still our favorite 😉

user121 try not to ship two of the most problematic drivers on the grid: level impossible

user122 no one fangirls over them like red bull

user123 MAX LOOKS SO PROUD I CAN'T

user124 i bet the little fanboy in him was screaming

user125 max "i'm just happy to be here" verstappen

user126 they're so barbie and ken coded idc what anyone says

user127 wait i can actually see that

user128 idk about her outfit...

user129 and she doesn't know about you, problem solved 😘

user130 get her away from the paddock

user131 what did she ever do to you 😭

user132 i say let 👏 the 👏 woman 👏 breathe 👏

user133 amen 🙌

user134 SHE WAS THE ONE WAVING THE FLAG I'M UNWELL

user135 i'm gonna pretend this means she helped him win (i'm delusional)

maxverstappen1 she did

maxverstappen1 she was my lucky charm

user136 AGAIN!?

user137 i'm ending it all

user138 he's so awkward it's painful

user139 STOP DELETING THE COMMENTS AND JUST ASK HER OUT ALREADY

user140 why do i feel like he could really use some rizz classes from lando

❤️ by lando

lando @.maxverstappen1 told ya

maxverstappenfanclub

❤️ 75.5K 💬 7,968

maxverstappenfanclub unseen photos of max and yn in suzuka 🤩🇯🇵

comments

user141 how dare instagram hide this from me for a whole minute

user142 HOW DARE RED BULL HIDE THIS FROM US IN GENERAL

user143 the disrespect 😨

user144 they wanted to keep all the wholesomeness to themselves

user145 selfish pricks

user146 if you heard someone screaming that was me

user147 if you heard someone screaming no you didn't. i passed out

user148 only acceptable reaction

user149 do they know it's legal to talk about their feelings instead of doing whatever the fuck this is

user150 BLUSHING GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET

user151 SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

user152 there are two types of people:

user153 both valid af

user154 THE FIRST ONE IS THE REASON I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE

user155 the eyes chico, they never lie

user156 the physical need to have someone looking at me like that

user157 so true

user158 oh he's GONE gone

user159 everyone talking about max BUT WHAT ABOUT YN

user160 ❗️❗️❗️

user161 YES THANK YOU

user162 you have no idea how much this means to me

user163 HER SMILE WHEN SHE SAW HIS CARHQYQKCZGUD

user164 and the little happy dance MY HEART

user165 they're disgusting (i love them sm)

f1wags._

❤️ 88.8K 💬 11.5K

f1wags._ ⁉️NEW WAG ALERT⁉️ @.maxverstappen1 and @.ynofficial spotted together after their collab shoot in suzuka!

comments

user166 hey so this is actually insane 😃

user167 I JUST OPENED INSTAGRAM WTF IS THIS

user168 WE WON

user169 SUCK IT HATERS

user170 calm tf down it doesn't mean anything

user171 suuure

user172 they say denial is a river in egypt

user173 just accept the fact that we were right all along and move on 😝

user174 MAXYN NATION RISE

user175 our moment has finally arrived

user176 i have no idea how we got here but i'm definitely not complaining

user177 we're being fed with this content

user178 I DIED DEAD

user179 when why and how did this happen

user180 i love how it goes from normal shooting to flirting to full-on tits out

user181 HAND PLACEMENT

user182 i see what you did there maximilian

user183 i'm 99.9% sure he smacked her ass one second after that picture was taken

maxverstappen1 why the 0.1%?

user184 FREAKSTAPPEN STRIKES ONCE AGAIN

user185 i can't believe he actually wrote that omg

user186 BOOM SHAKALAKA

user187 max or yn?

user188 BOAF

user189 I NEED A BIG BOY GIVE ME A BIG BOYYYYY 😫❣️

user190 great now kiss

ynofficial

❤️ 11M 💬 86.3K

liked by maxverstappen1, oliviarodrigo, tatemcrae and others

ynofficial fast cars, faster hearts 🫶

comments

maxverstappen1 ❤️❤️❤️

❤️ by ynofficial

oliviarodrigo can't believe i really lost you to a m*n 🤢

tatemcrae he doesn't deserve you babe

ynofficial don't be mean🧍‍♀️

tatemcrae not mean. just honest

oliviarodrigo yeah no i'm sticking to mean

user191 nothing will ever top this day

user192 THIS IS A HISTORICAL MOMENT

user193 I FUCKING KNEW IT

user194 canon event

user195 it was bound to happen at one point

user196 not the couple we deserved but the one we needed

user197 YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THINGS LIKE THIS ON A RANDOM SATURDAY

user198 the ship has sailed i repeat the ship has sailed

user199 words cannot describe how i'm feeling right now

user200 i've been jumping around my room for the past five minutes

redbullracing happy for you 🥰 (charles... not so much)

user201 admin is still stuck on lestappen and so am i

user202 maxyn defender till the day i die but lestappen is THE otp

user203 lando's lessons actually paid off lol

lando you had doubts?

user203 no sir 🫡

user204 lando yesrizz

❤️ by lando

user205 HOLY SHIT THIS WAS BETTER THAN READING A FANFIC

© 2025 l4ndoflove. all rights reserved.

[transmutationisms]

you’ve talked about the unquantifiability/immateriality of attention span - thinking about your recent posts against the concept of addition, do you think concepts like compulsion/willpower are measurable/material? thinking specifically in the context of like, a casino or a gacha game, which actively and successfully employ concrete tactics to encourage people to continue playing and discourage them from stopping without altering their autonomy. without overgeneralizing, what might be happening psychologically there - escapism via the adrenaline rush, or…?

it's honestly insane to me how often people mystify gambling like it has nothing to do with any other phenomenon by which people identify that they want something & then try to obtain it. when i run a race im particularly motivated when i reach the sign that says only 2km left, & i expend extra effort sprinting when the finish line is in sight. if im thirsty & someone says maybe there's free water down the hall, i get up & go there to find it. if i live in a society in which i need money to live, & someone says i can obtain a great deal of it by going to a windowless hotel & spinning a wheel, is it really particularly pathological of me to be tempted by the offer?

you can see the same type of behaviour in eg people who get way too invested in the PTA cakewalk or charity raffles or bingo night at the assisted living facility—but these activities are designed to offer limited opportunity for play, & relatively insignificant payouts, plus they're associated w/ middle class suburbanites whose spending habits prompt less social concern in general. gambling on the other hand is advertised to be incredibly opaque about what your actual odds of winning are, & designed so that even when you rationally know those odds you're still being inundated with tempting fantasies that your payout might be juuuust around the corner if you keep at it. it's not really bizarre to me that people respond to this (& to the fear of losing the monetary investment they've already made so far!) by continuing to play well past their means, & even past what they would find rationally acceptable if they were in a low-pressure environment with their material needs already met & with time to think through their decision. pathologising this behaviour as compulsion/addiction/lack of self-control is an incredibly convenient fiction that identifies a subset of the population as psychologically defective rather than identifying an economic mechanism that preys on people.

anyway no i also don't put stock in broader notions of compulsion/willpower, for basically the same reason: they're psychological stories that make people's attempts to obtain things they want/need into individual mental maladies, & specifically maladies framed around the idea of a constitutionally weak/degrading mental faculty of self-regulation. generally i find it much more fruitful to consider what needs aren't being met, & are instead manifesting in a subjective inability to direct one's own impulses/desires: for example, in the paradigmatic case, as a teenager i struggled with compulsions to count things & flick light switches & check door locks not because those objects were exerting some kind of nefarious control over my damaged brain but because i felt (was) unsafe & unprotected in other ways, & i was unable to address those needs due to the constraints of my circumstances, whereas turning the lights off was an action within my control that i was capable of performing. i may know that physically i need to eat more, but be worried about not having enough money to spend on food or about incurring social punishment if i'm perceived as excessively appetitive or if i gain weight: thus, i experience not-eating as an irresistible temptation even though i recognise it rationally as physically dangerous & misery-inducing. &c &c &c.

i fundamentally just don't believe actions we experience as 'compulsive' (particularly irresistible) are mysteriously so, any more than any other actions. indeed the compulsion logic is just tautological if you follow it to its end: every action i have ever taken in my entire life definitionally had to have been one i wanted to take, on some level & in some way, else i wouldn't have done them. yet somehow i do still talk about myself & others as moral agents possessed of self-determination, go figure.

[cursingtoji]

ᥫ᭡ 𝐬𝐨... 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰?

— where satoru comforts you after breaking up with toji

gojo being lowkey yandere, fem reader, toji is the ex, mentions of baby trapping, reader is older, gojo calls her senpai (almost as a mock), classroom smut, fingering, gojo has to wear a condom and he hates it, he’s also a bit pathetic and in love, reader is a bit of bitch. 4k (this was supposed to be drabble idk what happened)

“i know what you’re thinking” gojo’s voice breaks the silence in the classroom where you were supposed to be grading papers but instead has been looking through the window for god knows how long now.

the sudden appearing happens after gojo catches your lost gaze on the field some of his students were training at. he saw your profile looking down at your desk, then after a few minutes you looked through the window until your eyes set on gojo’s protégée and the son of the man that broke your heart.

“but if you keep up with that megumi will get creeped out by you” gojo simply manifested in your classroom as soon as he realized you would stay in trance not even noticing your fellow teacher staring back at you from below.

“whatever, he never liked me anyways” you brush off, then remember what he said before, “and what the hell makes you think you know what i’m thinking?”

“ah, you forgot? i have an eye or six for this sorta thing” he points to his blindfold.

“you saying you can read minds now, you freak?” your relationship with satoru always had that dynamic. toji usually got very annoyed whenever he was in the same room as the two of you, he tried to pull you away or make an excuse for you two to go back to his place. deep down you knew he felt some type of way whenever you and satoru banter like that.

“please you’re so transparent i wonder how megumi haven’t seen it yet, i'm concerned that he might need glasses…”

“just say what you wanna say, satoru.”

gojo, on the other hand, didn’t need an instinct to see how jealous and possessive toji could be when he was around. all that gojo needed to say was one word to trigger the old man.

“every time you see megumi you think about him, don’t ya?” he takes a step in your direction while you sink in your chair looking away, “senpai.”

gojo never showed respect for anyone, he was scolded several times by yaga because of it, utahime tried to hit him whenever she could, demanding formal treatment since she was his upperclassmen. but you, for whatever reason he decided, was the only one he used the honorific with.

“he’s his kid, of course i’ll—“

“ever since i heard about your breakup you’ve been acting like everything is fine, except for when you see megumi, then you frown,” gojo extends his index and taps the space between your eyebrows “and your cursed energy increases” he then sits on your desk looking down at you, “don’t tell me megumi had anything to do with why toji—“

“of course not” you stop him, although megumi was never fond of you, you know he’s a good kid and wouldn’t try to get in the way of your relationship with his father. as far as you know, he’s not particularly close to his old man either. actually, anything related to toji — bets, races, you — is automatically disregarded by him.

“then you gotta stop looking at him like he did something, or before you realize your energy towards him will become hostile and i can’t let that happen” gojo’s tone became more severe, it’s one of those rare times where he drops the playful persona in order to get serious. truthfully, megumi did nothing, but you can't unsee toji when you look at him, especially after seeing what your ex-boyfriend used to look like in the old days when he showed you some photos. it never occurred to you before, since you barely saw megumi anyways, you're not his sensei and in your free time you were with toji so there wasn't much time to get to know megumi since they don’t live together since the boy was five. you suppose gojo is right, pushing your hurt feelings away only makes them come out stronger when you see anything that reminds you of toji.

“that’s not gonna happen, i have my energy under control” you cross your arms, feeling exposed under gojo’s gaze even through the mask.

he stays quiet for a second, then his annoying tone is back.

“what did you even see in him anyways? he’s definitely not a good guy.”

“that’s rude, toji is—“

“did you think you could change him or something?”

“i— no, why—“

“from what megumi said he was cheap as fuck so it was definitely not the money” he rubs his chin.

“gojo, i swear—“

“was it the sex?”

you widen your eyes and close your mouth, not having a simple answer for that.

“jackpot” satoru whispers.

“fuck off, satoru” you raise from your seat but he raises too, blocking your way and trapping you against the black board and his body.

“you stayed with that guy for years just for the sex?” he has a mocking tone that makes your blood boil.

“no! and that’s none of your goddamn business.”

“and you’ve broken up, what? two months ago? you’ve been all this time without sex?” you raise your hand ready to slap his face or punch his nose but he sees your movements faster and catches your wrist, “don’t be like that senpai, your energy is getting hostile again” he takes all the time in the world lowering his blindfold and letting his hair fall down while staring at you with those freaking blue eyes, “although, on second thought i think that might be mmm… sexual frustration? it’s a color i never seen in you before” he grabs your wrist firmly.

“you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“oh but i do, senpai. i’m just wondering how you haven’t downloaded a dating app or tried to rub one off yet” gojo knows exactly which buttons to press to make you wanna stab him, or worst, make you wanna fuck him.

gojo gets closer to your face, so close you can smell his aftershave, and just the realization that it’s a different scent from the one you were so used to makes your heart ache and your clit throb.

“or did you?” he’s fast, gojo catches your phone on top of the table putting it right in front of your face to unlock then moving away from you to check it, “definitely no dating apps” you yell his name and try to snatch your phone back but he puts infinity on and you can’t reach him, “browser history?”

“satoru, you have no right, gimme that” your face is hot with shame.

“nothing either, well i suppose your camera roll…”

“no!”

“aha” he deactivates the invisible shield and right when you think you can retrieve your phone he turns you around, holding your arms behind your back and pressing your back against his chest, “is that what you use to get off?” he puts the phone in front of you, it’s opened in the gallery, more specifically in a part filled with lewd videos and photos.

“not bad, you could make some cash outta this” gojo puts his chin on your shoulder, playing a video which clearly was filmed by toji, his dick is getting in and out of you from behind, he gets a close look with the phone, his glistening dick shining under the flashlight while your pussy stretches to accommodate him. you press your legs together remembering the feeling, you’re not even struggling to get out of gojo’s hold by the time the video ends.

“you don’t need to get off by yourself, you know?” he smells your hair and kisses your ear, “it’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“that was forever ago” you reply, at the time you thought satoru was going to use that against you, just waiting for an opportunity to drop that bomb on toji’s lap and proudly say he fucked his girlfriend before, but whatever image you had of him back then was proved wrong since no one knows about your little escape with gojo till this very day.

“and wasn’t it good? huh?” he presses, sucking the spot on your neck that has you throwing your head back.

“yeah, it was” you confess, too sensible from the light touches to rethink your answers.

“see? i can make you feel good so you don’t become a little monster” he trails his hand on your thigh, pushing your skirt up until he finds your underwear, playing with the hem to tease you then pressing a finger on your clit.

“so charitable of you” you mumble sarcastically.

“i would gladly do this favor to you” he replies in the same tone, “even though you still own me.”

“for what?!” you close your legs around his hand turning your head around to look him in the face, not even considering a world where satoru did you any favors.

“for raising your boyfriend’s son? you really think you would’ve had a sex life with an eight year old summoning pets around the house?” he raises an eyebrow.

“don’t pretend like you did that out of the goodness in your heart, if megumi didn’t have the ten shadows you wouldn’t have bat an eye if toji sold him to the zenin’s or whomever.”

“you sound just like him” gojo’s eyes get darker, now he has your clit slowly rolling between his thumb and index over your underwear.

“besides— hng i came in the picture years after you took megumi… so don’t blame me” you wiggle your ass on his crotch.

“a ‘thank you my favourite kohai’ wouldn’t hurt” you sincerely laugh at that, never thinking of satoru as your underclassmen since that fucking minx is everyone’s exception on their cursed technique due to how powerful he is, so him being below you somehow was never a posibility, at least not strength wide.

satoru pushes your underwear to the side, rubbing the wetness all over your pussy and teasing your entrance.

“five years” you murmur as he inserts a finger then pulls it back to join his middle one too and go back in.

“hm?” satoru gets quieter, after talking so much and having so many things to say you’re surprised he stayed silent for a whole minute.

“last time you fucked me, it was five years ago” you get comfortable on his hold, his leg is between yours, serving as support for you to lean on while he scissors you.

“that long huh…” he sounds… sad? no, maybe nostalgic.

“crazy, right? so much has—“ you sigh when he curls his fingers, “changed.”

satoru take a long sniff of your hair, keeping a pleasing rhythm with his hand, it feels like giving someone a massage. he could go crazy and have you stripped out of your uniform a while ago, fucked you on your desk and left after marking your body and giving your ass a mean slap.

he could still do that, but whatever feeling bloomed in his chest has him enjoying this moment with you in his hold, stroking your insides and smelling your shampoo while discreetly rocking his hips on your behind for some relief.

he almost feels sleepy, the relaxed state has his mind going other places. he thinks of a world where he can tease you under your uniform every other day, you would tell him the school is no such a place for that then the day ends and you go home with him, holding hands, and finally when you arrive home he gets to finish what he started. then, he cooks whatever quick meal he can find the ingredients for since he knows you don't like to cook, afterwards you fall asleep on his lap on the couch as he strokes your hair, your belly is full, your heart is warm, you feel loved and he feels—

“toru~” he comes out of the trance he fell at when you call for him, he thinks for a second you were calling his name cause you felt he was off, but in reality you were calling him cause you are getting close, “right there” your breathy moans makes gojo smile and kiss your temple.

“where? here?” he pretends to not know, when the truth is he never actually forgot after your first time together, “right here, senpai?”

“y-yeah” you throw your head back, shutting your eyes to give in to the orgasm. gojo looks down at your pretty face, he feels the urge to kiss you right now, but he wants you to ask for it first. your walls clench around his fingers, he strokes that spot sweetly, like he's caressing a pet.

which is an ironic comparison since he’s the one that would gladly accept being your pet.

when you open your eyes gojo is staring at you silently through half lid eyes, it is truly a shame that he keeps those hidden for so long.

“desk, now” you demand needly.

“yes ma'am” gojo picks you up easily, moving the papers on top of the table to the floor.

you immediately go for his belt, choosing not to comment on the wet spot on his pants.

you feel a pressure on your chin as he guides your head up to look at him.

“ask me” he pleads.

“for what?”

“for a kiss” you smile, looking at his lips and how inviting they look. you ponder if you should tease him for it, since he's been teasing you with words a lot today, but then you chose to comply, despite going through your phone without our permission and claiming your frustration comes from lack of dick, he's actually being good to you.

“gimme a kiss” you raise your chin higher, he gazes at your lips and eyes, looking for something other than lust, yet he gives in, sealing your lips with his trying to keep his mind away from thinking of the man that had your lips previous to him. and how dumb that motherfucker is to let you go.

gojo's lips are soft, he starts gently which feels foreign to you, but it doesn't take long before his hand presses your lower back, pulling you closer until his cock hits your clothed cunt. the warmth he feels is enough to relish the passion in him, he kisses you harder, tongue intruding your mouth like he's trying to devour you.

the wet kiss also awakens your urge for him, you pull his cock from his underwear in the tiny space between his and your crotch, the second it's out it's already against your folds, the leaking tip hot against your skin.

“nuh-uh you better have a rubber” you push your knee onto gojo’s pelvis when he starts to rub himself on you to spread your wetness on his shaft.

“did you make toji wear one too?” he raises a questionable eyebrow at you, willing to bet all his heritage on the answer.

“he had to earn that privilege” you reach for gojo’s wallet, not failing to notice the black cards and considerable amount of cash, “i don’t know what you do after 6 so…” you take the packs, ripping it open yourself and rolling on him. with a face and body like his you doubt gojo spends most nights by himself.

“unbelievable…”

“satoru” you warn stroking him slowly, “can i get another kiss?” you bat your lashes. gojo comes closer, his nose even touches yours, then you feel his hands on your waist, turning you around till your elbows and chest are against the table and your skirt is being flipped over, underwear pushed down.

“you have to earn it, senpai” he spits the words against your ear as he pushes his dick into you. until a few moments ago, satoru was composed, happy to accept whatever crumbles you chose to give him. you managed to trigger him by saying toji still had something he couldn't have.

he's still gonna go through this — that's how whipped he is for you — though now he’ll be less gentle.

his cockhead hits your spot, nothing accidental of course, satoru knows your spots like the back of his hand. you whine and arch your back, satoru pouts realizing he won't get to suck some hickeys on the skin of your back and shoulder, not now at least, but the night is young.

“c'mon satoru, don't be like that” you look over your shoulder, licking your lips at the sight of him sweaty, flushed and frowny.

the sound of his name in your voice makes him want to cum on the spot, he dips his head on your neck sighing, not stopping thrusting your behind. he wanted to feel you so badly, why the fuck did you make him wear a condom? he's clean, of course he is, he's gojo satoru for heaven's sake! even viruses are afraid of him.

or was it something else you feared?

“hey… you on the pill?” he lifts his head slightly, his voice still muffled by the material of your dress.

“you’re not fucking me raw, satoru.”

“just wondering… you said you didnt wear a condom with him, so what kept you from getting knocked up?” he wiggles his hand between you and the surface of your table till hes palming your belly.

“you keep bringing toji up a lot, obsessed much?” you tease him, avoiding the answer, gojo pinches your clit.

“please, he wishes. now tell me. iud? implant? injections?” you push him away turning around then pulling him back.

“okay, you clearly had sex ed classes, now shut up and fuck me right” gojo takes your leg and places on his shoulder, you bite your fist to contain your moan, the new position makes easier for him to nudge your clit with his pelvis.

“i could be fucking you better, you know how?” he bites the skin of your leg, not harshly but enough to make you yelp, he smiles, giving a particular hard thrust that makes your eyes roll.

“condom stay on, satoru, i can’t risk getting preg—“ you slap your mouth. satoru stops.

“you’re not… on anything?”

“listen you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?” you cover your face, “i had a pregnancy scare a few years ago so… gosh why am i even telling you this…”

“go on” gojo massages your thigh.

“toji got a vasectomy. birth control wasn’t working for me anymore and it was only a matter of time before— well it doesn't matter. you can see why you have to use it right?” you place your elbows on the table, sitting up enough to see the look on his face, it’s not what your expected to see.

satoru looks like a child that just found out where his parents keep all the sweets. he’s grinning, dick throbbing.

“yeah, i see now” he bends, holding your neck and kissing you, he makes the kiss feel like a ‘thank you for trusting me’ but if this was a cartoon his shadow would have horns and a pointy tail.

all he can think now is exactly how to make you his, he can sweet talk you into allowing him to hit it raw, promising to pull it out, then… whoopsie.

the new discovery gives him a different kind of stamina.

“don’t worry, your secret is safe with me” he kisses your cheek after leaving you breathless.

he plunges in and out, a rhythm that has you seeing stars. gojo craves you so much, he’s quite bothered by all the clothes and the need to keep it down, otherwise he would have torn your dress apart and have you screaming by now.

“fuck— keep doing that” you run your nails on his undercut, gojo mewls and take your other leg, pushing it further to go deeper. he sees the white ring around his cock, getting high on the sigh of it combined with your pussy illuminated by the natural light coming from the window behind him.

he wonders if toji ever fucked you in a classroom like this, then he shakes his head, not allowing the image to form in his mind, instead he focus on you, and how your pretty face contorts as your orgasm approaches once again.

“so fucking pretty” he whispers quietly.

you attempt to lower your legs. feeling it’s gonna be too much.

“nuh-uh keep them here” he pushes back, “so tight” he closes his eyes.

you’re a moaning mess at this point, almost forgetting where you are.

“that’s right, let it go baby” your legs shake as your orgasm hits you, satoru can see the shape of your cursed energy peaking then getting softer.

he fucks you a little more, trying not to think about the condom trapping his dream of knocking you up.

god, you would look so fucking gorgeous carrying his baby, all round up for him to showcase around. he would do anything for you, you wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

if only…

“fuck“ he fucks his load — into the condom unfortunately.

after the initial high goes away he starts to hear his students asking where he went and why he’s taking so long, “wait here, i’ll take you home.”

“you don’t have to” you smile, poking his cheek.

“oh i do, i’m not done with you” he takes your hand from his nape and gives it a kiss before pulling out and throwing that despicable rubber into the bin, making a mental note to empty that bin outside where the evidence of what happened between two teachers is not so easily discoverable.

you sit up adjusting your dress and looking around, “did you see my…”

“nope” gojo leaves the classroom pushing the material of your panties further into his pocket.

gojo had the weekend of his dreams, he convinced you to stay in his place that night and the next one too, he rubbed your sore legs after you came so much you were spasming then made you breakfast, it almost made him believe of a happy ending for the two of you.

a dream that was shattered when, a few days later you returned from a mission and stood by the entrance of the school kissing… toji.

gojo watches the scene from above, a frown on his face.

“yeah i was surprised too” he almost forgot that megumi was with him, “thought she finally created some sense” he confesses.

gojo doesn’t say anything, he watches silently as you tiptoe to kiss toji, the fucker doesn’t even hold you right, he keeps his hand in his pockets and lets you with all the effort.

“meet you in the classroom in five” gojo disappears from megumi’s sight.

on your way to report your mission to yaga you see satoru leaning against a tree. you say his name in a surprised manner, not having prepared what to tell him beforehand.

“listen, i— hm… i thought you should know that toji and i are back, so—”

“did you tell him?” his arms are crossed.

“about… us? of course not.”

“why? don’t you think he should know?” you hear the challenge in his tone.

“no, and you’re not gonna say a word to him either” you step closer to him, trying to look intimidating which can be difficult due to the height difference, “may i remind you that between the three of us there’s a teen boy who would not appreciate the drama.”

“look at you, using fushiguro as an scapegoat” he smiles at the look of anger forming on your features, “it’s fine, i’m just a bit surprised at how quick you were to go back to him, that’s all.”

“let’s be real, satoru. it’s not like you were going to take me on a date or anything” gojo pulls you by your wrist, your body hits his, the sudden proximity has your eyes widening, anyone could see you and take the wrong conclusion. i mean, it wouldn’t be wrong but you didn’t want any conclusions to be taken for that matter.

“this is not going to be the last time and i don’t give a damn if you’re dating him or married or widowed.”

“satoru!” you shout his name in a whisper, immediately rejecting the idea of becoming a widow.

“you can tell toji or not, i don’t mind fighting him” he pushes himself out of the tree and past you. megumi is grown now, of course he still needs a lot of coaching regarding his skills, but emotionally speaking, he’s been a grown up since he was six.

before going to his classroom as promised, he teleports himself to yours, picking up the bouquet he left at your desk then teleporting to the fountain across the campus where he rips the paper that holds the flowers together and lets it all fall into the water.

satoru watches it for a moment, hurt but still decided to go through with his plan.

he wonders what would you tell toji if you got pregnant, maybe you could convince him the child is his, a miracle. then when the kid comes out with white hair and blue eyes you’ll have no choice other than be with him, the father of your child, the man who truly loves you. gojo satoru.

[munsonsmixtapes]

hello! not sure if you've written this already, but how about biker!eddie finding a spot to make you ride him/fuck you dumb on his very metal motorbike after a night riding through the city? :)

cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) degradation, use of the words whore and slut

When Eddie got the motorcycle, you were a bit hesitant. You've heard about how dangerous they can be and were just concerned about your boyfriend getting hurt. But the second he pulled up to your apartment building, you swore you were drooling because of how hot he looked. From then, all you've been able to imagine is him fucking you stupid while you sit on the seat.

That's not all you can think about when he takes you for rides. You've had to take care of yourself multiple times afterwards because you're too afraid to ask Eddie. He is your best friend after all and that's not the kind of relationship you have.

But god, you want him so bad it's gotten to the point where all you want is ask him to drive you somewhere private and have him take you right there, fucking you hard and deep then take you home where he has to carry you up to your apartment because you're unable to walk.

Eddie's not as oblivious as you think he is, though. He knows very well how badly you want him as is just waiting for you to say something. And if he's being honest, he's thought about that exact thing more times that he can count. Imagining you spread out on his bike as he fucks your brains out is something that constantly plays in his head.

It's gotten to the point where last week, he actually almost did that exact thing, but decided against it. He doesn't know why, he just chickened out at the last second. But tonight, he's going to go for it. The second he finds a good spot, he's going to pull in and go to town.

When he picks you up, he can't help but noticed that you're dressed differently. Instead of the jeans and t-shirt he's used to, you're in a dress. a dark blue short one that leaves almost nothing up to the imagination. and fuck does that make him hard.

You rush over to him and and get onto the bike before taking the helmet from Eddie, putting it on your head then holding onto him for dear life as he peels out of his parking space.

You rest your head against Eddie's back and he's so grateful that you can't see his hard on right now. You'll see it soon enough anyway. He knows you wore that dress on purpose and he doesn't know if it's because you actually want him to fuck you or if it's just to torture him. Either way, you're going to get fucked tonight.

You both fly through the city, the pretty lights the background to your adventure. You notice that Eddie's going faster than usual, but you don't say anything about it. There has to be a reason and you really hope it's what you think it is. You want that dress to be ruined by the time he's done with you and you have to clench your legs as you think about it.

Eddie pulls into an alley and your heart is racing as you smile brightly, your dream finally coming true. You're beginning to think that maybe that manifestation session wasn't for nothing after all.

He stops right in the middle and gets off the bike, removing his helmet and tossing it to the side before doing the same with yours. Before you can even process what's happening, he presses his lips to yours, grabbing hold of your hips and pulling you to sit sideways on the seat of the bike.

You spread your legs and Eddie steps between them as his tongue flicks into your mouth, the two of you moaning as he does so, the kiss slowing down as you take the time to taste each other. He tastes like cigarettes and you taste sweet like candy.

Eddie nips at your bottom lip and you whine as he pushes your dress up around your waist, only pulling away to get a good look at you, letting out a gasp at what he sees in the dim lighting of the alley.

"Baby, you're not wearing any underwear."

"I know," you reply as you bat your eyelashes, biting down on your bottom lip. "I wanted to speed up the process."

"Thought your were going to get lucky tonight, did you?" He asks as he unbuttons his pants and lets then drop around his ankles.

"I did. And clearly it worked," you tell him as your gaze drops to his underwear which he also pulls down, showing his rock hard cock that you can barely see in the terrible lighting.

"I guess it did," he says as you pull a condom out of your purse, handing it to him and he's quick to put it on before he grabs onto your hips, already going for it as he slides inside you.

You're already stretched out and he's grateful for that as he pumps in and out of you hard and fast as he spreads your legs wider so he has more room to fit inside. You already feel weightless and Eddie is quick to hold onto you so you don’t fall, his hands resting on your back as he continues to move quickly.

“Oh my god,” you moan, burying your face into Eddie’s shoulder, biting down on him to show him how much you’re enjoying it.

“Fuck, taking me so well,” he compliments. “If you can behave, I’ll take you back to my place and I’ll make you my whore.”

Eddie has always had a mouth on him and you had heard from girls in the city that he always knew what to say in the bedroom, you just never thought you’d be on the receiving end of those filthy words.

“I can-behave,” you tell him as he finally gets all of him inside you, taking your breath away as he does so. You can tell every inch of him as he stays there for a second, pressing a kiss to your lips as he starts back up again, full sending as he fucks into you as hard and as fast as he can, moan after delicious moan fall from his lips.

One of the street light reflects on the side of his face and you pull back just in time to take the most beautiful mental picture of him mid-moan. His mouth is wide open, sweat forming on his forehead, his hair a perfect mess. It’s something that should be in a museum for everyone to admire because it’s just that pretty.

“More,” you beg. “Need more.”

“You’re a greedy little slut, aren’t you. Already given you all of my cock and you want more?”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“Fine,” he says as he pushes inside of you once again, but he stays there, wanting to see exactly how long you can take it. You clench around him as your back arches and just when he thinks you’re about to give out, you orgasm, a hot, loud moan escaping your lips as you do so.

“That’s it,” he says as you collapse into his arms, your face going back to the crook of his neck. “Now c’mon,” he nods his head towards the exit of the alley. “I think you’ve behaved well enough to have earned your treat.”

And with that, Eddie pulls out and fixes your dress before tossing the condom to the side and getting dressed. Once he’s back on the bike, you put all of your weight on him as you fall asleep on the way back to Eddie’s apartment where he fulfills his promise by making you how whore over and over until he’s fucked you absolutely stupid.

[therealbabycher]

⋅ ꒰ఎ 💸 ໒꒱ ⋅

You know something I am sick of seeing in the loa/shifting community is manifesters asking for permission to manifest a controversial change of self in their reality and I'm like.. have you forgotten who your imagination belongs to? Hoe are you seriously trying to let outsiders tell you what you can and can't change about your self in your imagination??

You could outwardly announce to be shifting to be a kpop gg but secretly be shifting as a different race, ethnicity, age, to get dicked down by 4 male idols and a ceo, hard core bdsm style, and actually you're RESPAWNING there and I genuinely couldn't care less. Just because @factualloashifter said they don't like that you scripted your face card is so offensively lethal that people go out of their way to buy you millions worth of gifts while looking for only a smile in return that and jungkook decided to join those 4 idols doesn't mean you have to change your desires lmao

Be who you are and OWN that shit. If you're a slut, BE a slut. And once your done be something else. You dont need to ask for approval from random loa/shift blogs for you to experience your desires. You dont need to tell anyone your business, nor do you need to elaborate on why you've decided to manifest very specific things. Your "I AM" belongs to no one but you. You change your "I AM" into whatever you like, on your own terms. So just do it. Manifest that thing bitch. It's already yours anyway🥱

⋅ ꒰ఎ 💸 ໒꒱ ⋅

[calebslittlecrow]

How To Assume

(stop being an overly anxious potato over manifesting)

Sometimes I see shifters asking “Oh, what should I do? Nothing is working :(“ and they get hit with the good ol “just assume” stamp and send on their way. And then, barely 10 steps later, they turn around and whisper “... the fuck do I even assume?”. Before I chew your ear off: assuming isn’t hard. Well, not really, but people tend to make it hard. We as humans just love acting like we need to turn ourselves into a pretzel every time we want something “big”. We actually assume every day - when we decide we suck, when we tell ourselves we’ll never shift anyway, when we confidently declare we are stuck in our 3D and shifting is just too good to be true and all those people in the reddit community saying it’s just astral projecting or deep lucid dreaming are right (what is even going on over there atm?). Guess what your 3D is doing with those assumptions? It grabs them, says “bet!” and starts running like it’s a race. Congrats ^-^ But hey, the good news: if you can assume all of that shit, you can also assume that you have shifted. Yeay! In the spirit of keeping it simple, I turned the way I see assuming into a neat little list. Enjoy, or not: 1. Just Decide That’s it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, exit is to the right. Okay, it sounds suspiciously simple and I know some brains will twitch a bit right now with “That can’t be it”. But it is. You sit down, breathe and say “I have shifted”. No begging, no pleading, no howling at the moon. You just decide, and that is where a lot of people crumble already by pleading for it to happen instead of deciding it has happened. You don’t need an approval stamp, you are the CEO of your own reality, not the intern grabbing coffee. Act like it. Deciding isn’t hoping or praying, it’s simply knowing. No matter if shit catches up immediately, tomorrow or next week. Doesn’t matter, let go of the need for it to happen right now. 2. Stop checking You said you shifted and now you are still checking your reality every 2 seconds like a teenager waiting for a message from their crush. Stop it. You’re rereading your script, watching shifting TikTok like the answer to all your problems will jump at you, poking your subconscious like “are we there yet?”. That’s not assuming, that is panic dressed up as productivity (or something like that). You are basically saying “I don’t actually believe this is done and decided”. Cut it out. Just go live your life. Play some games, touch grass with two hands and one face (beware of bees), breathe some fresh air. Your desire won’t implode because you stopped choking it out and stopped micromanaging everything. Obsessing doesn’t equal manifesting. Just let it cook. 3. You commit or you quit Assuming means you have to kinda commit to it. You’re not almost there, or halfway shifted. You are there. You have shifted, no more ifs and whens and buts and any other kind of spiraling. Take five minutes out of your day, relax into that knowing (or deciding). Feel your DR bed, hear your DR friends be loud as fuck for no reason, smell the DR air. Let your imagination drown out this reality like unwanted background noise. Similar to the fake arguments you rehearsed in the shower. You never needed help with those, did ya? 4. Yell at your doubts Maybe do this one internally, unless you are really feeling bold today. Every time your doubts creep in and whisper “What if it is not real?”, you turn around, embrace your inner main character energy and yell back “Shut the fuck up Brenda (sorry to all the Brendas out there), get back into the backseat. You’re not driving, I am.” Your doubts don’t get a say in what you want. They are not invited. You think your DR self is out there wondering if they are real or not? No, they are living the life you are telling yourself is unreachable.

5. Feeling ready is overrated, just do it Stop waiting to feel ready and questioning if your script is perfect or not. Your brain will rarely send you the green light you think you need to go ahead. You will feel silly, you will feel delusional. And you might feel like a clown. Embrace it, be the clown. Insist on what you decided until your 3D gets nervous and bends over in existential fear. You don’t wait to feel certain, you decide you are certain. And then go and act like it’s done.

TL;DR (how dare you, but fine T-T) Assuming you have shifted is like assuming the sun will rise tomorrow. You don’t argue with your friend about it. You don’t beg the sun to rise again. You just know and walk with the confidence that it’s happened, and with shifting you do so because you said so. That’s it. Stop overthinking. Assume and now go, I need to do some drawing stuff.

[ttpdstri]

you are in love

oscar piastri x reader

in which they’d managed to keep their relationship a secret (although people thought they were in love but oblivious) until one of their friends finds a way to expose it

face claim — lexi jayde

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 938,029 others

yourusername, race day!! everybody manifest good things for pastry boy🙏🙏

view all comments

user1, the only bffs that matter to me

⤷ user2, ‘bffs’ and then it’s 2 people that are actually madly in love but also completely oblivious

oscarpiastri, that picture was so unnecessary but thanks i guess

⤷ yourusername, you guess???? suddenly i’m manifesting you finish p19 and lando gets p1

⤷ landonorris, can you manifest me getting p1 anyway pls

user3, and when oscar gets on the podium and goes straight to y/n and kisses her on live tv then what????

⤷ user4, stay delusional bff, hopefully it works out

user5, the things i would do to be the passenger while oscar drives

logansargeant, am i allowed to not?

⤷ yourusername, only because i like u more than him

⤷ oscarpiastri, liar, you love me

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 991,282 others

yourusername, baby’s first (f1) podium😭💗

view all comments

user1, I WAS SOBBING MY PARENTS WERE SO CONCERNED

⤷ yourusername, oscar laughed right in my face as soon as he got out the car i was so offended

user2, did y’all see the way he was looking at her😭😭if they don’t say they love each other soon i will force them

⤷ user3, i’m still so shocked they’re not together

oscarpiastri, do you have to use the worst pictures of me every time i happen to make an appearance on your instagram?

⤷ yourusername, yes😊😊

landonorris, wow… i see how it is, what happened to bro’s before hoes😒😒

⤷ yourusername, sorry lando but he’s been my bff for longer

⤷ landonorris, i think you put an extra f there

user4, LANDO’S COMMENT????

⤷ user5, he’s making exposing his friends relationships his new hobby😭😭

liked by maxfewtrell, alex_albon and 968,293 others

yourinstagram, fuck soft launches <3 (and lando norris😒😒)

view all comments

landonorris, hey i did you a favour you guys would’ve kept this a secret until one of you died at this rate

⤷ yourusername, maybe i was waiting until his first win :(

⤷ landonorris, were you?

⤷ yourusername, well no but i could’ve been

user1, you guys were NEVER slick everyone knew

⤷ user2, they hard launched the minute she went to the race in bahrain

oscarpiastri, i love you🤍

⤷ yourusername, CRINGE

⤷ oscarpiastri, 😐😐

⤷ yourusername, i love you more🤗🤗

user3, the way half of these are basically what she posted before their relationship was confirmed, it was so painfully obvious

pls ignore the dates on the tweets i couldn’t be bothered to change them😭😭

[writinginatree]

Signets

Relationship(s): Bodhi Durran & Riorson!reader, Xaden Riorson & sister!reader

Summary: Your and your cousin's signets manifest within minutes of each other — almost like Bodhi's is a response to your own.

Warnings: Panic attacks, pyrophobia, near death experiences, reader has PTSD.

Written for @empyreanevents's Bodhi Week Day 3: Signet Countering

AO3

Stepping out into the courtyard with Bodhi, you tip back your head and take a deep breath of the cold winter air, releasing it in a sigh.

"I so fucked up that test," you groan.

"It's just math," your cousin says, bumping your shoulder with his own. "Pretty sure that's one class we can fail without being killed for it."

"I know. But I stayed up all night studying, and for what? Just to fail anyway?"

"I did tell you to prepare for the test sooner," he reminds you.

"Yeah, yeah. Next time, I'll let you force me to study with you in time for it to actually do me any good."

Bodhi shakes his head, grinning. "I'll believe that when I see it."

You roll your eyes, playfully smacking his arm. It might be true that you're not the most studious person, but does he really have to call you out on it like this?

Deciding it's time for a change of topic, you ask, "Is it just me, or has it gotten warmer?"

Maybe it's the lingering frustration and embarrassment from math class heating your skin, but you're uncomfortably warm despite wearing just your long-sleeved winter uniform, your flight jacket slung over your shoulder along with your bag.

Bodhi looks at you like you've grown a second head. His own jacket is buttoned all the way to the top, chin tucked into the collar for warmth. "Warmer? It's fucking freezing."

"I don't know. I'm warm."

It's not that you don't feel the cold wind howling through the courtyard, but unlike this morning when you'd shivered in it, now it comes as a relief.

"Maybe you're getting a fever," Bodhi suggests, and takes his hand from his pocket to feel your forehead. "Damn. You really are burning up."

"Hmm."

You close your eyes, leaning into his cooling touch. He's probably right. It feels like you're being boiled from the inside.

"It's not a fever," your dragon's voice comes down the bond.

How does she want to know? She hasn't even seen you today. But then you notice something feels strange about the bond, too. Almost... Almost like that's where the heat is coming from.

Your eyes snap open as the realization hits you. It isn't a fever — it's power, gathering beneath your skin.

Involuntarily, you think of the horror stories Garrick told you — people exploding when too much of the magic their dragons channeled built up inside them, lacking an outlet because their signets were late to manifest. But it has only been a few weeks since Faigh started channeling to you, and you were taught it can take multiple months for a signet to show, so that can't be what's happening to you... Can it?

Slapping Bodhi's hand away from your forehead, you take a few steps back, just in case. If you are about to become some sort of magical bomb and die, you don't want to take your cousin out with you.

"You are not dying," Faigh says, her voice taking on that infuriatingly patient tone that makes her sound like she's speaking to a toddler. "It's your signet. You just need to let it out."

Your signet? Is it supposed to feel like this? When you'd asked Xaden what it was like when his signet manifested, he hadn't mentioned anything like what you're feeling now. Then again, he might have kept it from you so as not to scare you. Or maybe it hadn't been like this for Xaden; maybe it feels different depending on what the signet is.

Bodhi steps closer again, asking if you're alright, but you can't focus on him. All you know is pain and unbearable heat. It feels like your skin will blister and peel off any moment.

Your mind races. How are you supposed to let the power out when you don't know what form it will take? What kind of signet could this be, to make it feel like your blood has been replaced with liquid fire?

Oh gods, no. Fire.

Just as you think the word, it's like the power bubbling under your skin boils over. Flames erupt around your hands and you cry out, dropping your blazing jacket.

No. No.

The smell of smoke and burning leather fills your nose, and your vision blurs, breath coming in ragged gasps. Your trembling hands are engulfed by flames. You can only watch in horror as they start to spread, surrounding your wrists and creeping up your arms, further and further. Tears drip into the fire, sizzling as they evaporate in the heat.

"Congratulations," Faigh remarks calmly. Either your terror doesn't register, or she's hoping that if she ignores it, you will be able to do the same. "You are a fire wielder."

"No! I don't want that!"

Anything, anything but that.

"You do not get to choose your signet. Now control it, before you hurt yourself."

Control it? Is she fucking serious? It's fucking fire — the destructive force starring in all of your nightmares, uncontrollable and deadly. The mere sight of the flames dancing up your arms is enough to erase any coherent thoughts from your mind, leaving nothing but helpless panic in it's wake. You don't feel any pain yet, but all you can think is that you'll die like this, you'll burn to death just like your dad and his allies.

"You will not. Do not let the power control you," Faigh scolds. "You are in control. Aim the fire away from yourself!"

But you're not. You've never felt less in control in your entire life.

"I can't!"

You've tried to overcome this fear the apostasy left you with time and time again, knowing how laughable it is for a dragon rider to be afraid of fire, but all your efforts were to no avail. No matter how hard you try, you can't help it. Every time you see even the hint of a fire, it takes you back to that day in Calldyr. Every time you smell smoke or the sulfur on a dragon's breath, the sight of your father in the moments of his death rises before your inner eye, and you have to use all your willpower in order not to dissolve into a sobbing mess on the spot.

Even harmless candles are enough to bring on a panic attack. You used to love placing them all over your room in Riorson House, loved to watch their little flames flicker and dance, fascinated by the ever-changing patterns of shadows they threw on the walls. Back home, you have a whole collection of different candles — scented ones, ones in glasses, big and colorful ones, and others in peculiar shapes. You know they're still there, because Xaden had once brought you a few into your foster home after a secret visit to Aretia. You hadn't had the heart to tell him you can't stand lighting them anymore.

Yet despite how bad your pyrophobia is, it hasn't been as big an issue as you thought it would be when you entered the quadrant. So far, you've gotten by pretty well, avoiding the highest turret with its burn pit like the plague, quickly finding somewhere else to be whenever a fire wielder demonstrates their powers for the amusement of their peers.

It helps that you usually know in advance when you're going to be faced with fire, and can mentally prepare yourself.

On the flight field and in the skies, you force yourself into tunnel vision, all your focus on Faigh so you won't notice if any of the other dragons breathe fire. Faigh herself is surprisingly considerate of your feelings in this regard, and has never breathed fire around you — except at Presentation, when she'd scorched the bully of a squad mate walking behind you and Bodhi.

At your cousin's insistence, the both of you had ignored your wingleader's advice of keeping seven feet apart, and walked hand in hand past the dragons. You'd been worried he'd get torched along with you if any of the dragons sensed your fear and deemed you unworthy because of it, but when the smell of charred flesh and sulfur hit you, you thanked the gods you'd let him convince you. Without Bodhi, you wouldn't have made it off that field. It was only thanks to the distraction he provided that you managed to keep from spiraling until it was all over, and you could safely break down.

All in all, everyday life in the Riders Quadrant doesn't involve nearly as much fire as you used to believe. Now, however, it seems your luck has run out. How are you supposed to avoid fire when you are the fire?

Faigh is shouting orders in your head, but the words don't make sense. Nothing seems real but the fire. The flames are still rising, the heat near unbearable. You've lost all sense of time, can't tell how long it's been since they appeared. Seconds or minutes, it makes no difference. If you don't get a grip on yourself soon, the fire will consume you.

Maybe you should let it. Wouldn't death be preferable to living in constant fear of your own signet? If you were dead, you wouldn't have to fear the fire anymore. You would be with your dad. There would be no more fear, no more pain.

Bodhi has other plans for you. He closes the distance between you and wraps you in his arms. Reality snaps back into place and you cry out, try to get away, terrified you'll burn him, but instead of rising and jumping over to him, the flames licking at your arms sputter and die down. The red-hot power that had coursed through you a moment before is gone — no, not gone. You can feel it through your bond with Faigh, but now it feels... contained. Like there's some kind of barrier that keeps it from consuming you.

Raising your hand in front of your face, you see that it isn't burned. Your skin is hot to the touch, flushed and tender, the way it gets after a too-hot shower, but that's all. No blisters or burned flesh like you would expect after contact with actual fire.

Bodhi notices the lack of injury too, and lets out a shaky breath of relief. "Are you okay?"

You can't speak, so you just nod, even though you're not at all sure it's true.

Nothing hurts, at least.

"You're in shock," Faigh soothes as you start to tremble, legs threatening to give out. "Breathe. It is under control now. Cuir's rider will keep you safe."

You know he will. Bodhi might only be older than you by a few months, but that has never stopped him from being just as protective of you as Xaden is. Pulling you against his chest to shield you from anyone else in the courtyard while you fight to regain your composure, his arms are a solid net of safety around you.

Once you've calmed enough to speak again, you lift your head and ask, "H-how did you do that?"

Bodhi shakes his head, looking just as confused as you feel, but doesn't need to ask what you mean. "I don't know."

"But you must have done something! The— the fire, I— I couldn't stop it. I thought it would burn you, but then it— it just disappeared."

"Maybe your fear of hurting me made it retreat?" Bodhi asks, sounding uncertain.

"No. It was you. You made it stop somehow."

Bodhi opens his mouth like he wants to argue, then closes it again. He knows you're right, even if neither of you understands what exactly happened.

"I don't know," he repeats, taking one of your shaking hands and turning it over to look at it from every side. "Are you sure you aren't hurt? Your whole arms were covered in flames."

"No, it— it didn't hurt. It was like— I think the fire wasn't actually touching me. Like it was just around me, somehow."

Bodhi nods slowly. "I guess that makes sense. Otherwise fire wielders would burn themselves every time they wield."

Fire wielders. Like you. You are a fire wielder.

Hearing Bodhi say it, the reality of it fully sinks in. Wherever you go, whatever you do, at any moment, you might spontaneously go up in flames. And worse, you'll be forced to use your signet, will be expected to control it. Leadership won't understand your fear, won't care how you feel about this power — they'll only care about what you can do for them with it.

A fresh wave of panic clogs your throat, makes it hard to breathe. You turn your head against Bodhi's neck again, unwilling to let anyone else see your tears.

"I don't want to wield fire, Bo," you whimper, quiet enough that only he can hear.

"I know," he murmurs, tightening his hold on you and bringing his other hand up to cradle the back of your head. "I know. I'm so sorry, baby. You'll be okay, though."

"Nh-nh. I can't do this."

"Of course you can. You're braver than you think, and I'll be with you."

"You— You'll put the fire out again?" you sniffle. You're vaguely aware of how pathetic you must sound, but you don't have it in you to care. "If it comes back?"

You know the if is really a when. There's no doubt the fire will come back — it's yours now, whether you want it or not, and sooner or later, you'll be left with no choice but to wield it. But you don't want to think about that right now. You just want Bodhi to tell you he'll keep you safe from it, no matter if it's true.

"I will," he promises, and even though neither of you knows how exactly he stopped the fire the first time, you have no doubt he will manage to do it again if you need him to. Bodhi always keeps his word.

Now that the burning flood of power has left your body, the cold hits you full force. Your flight jacket is a pile of ashes on the ground, so Bodhi unbuttons his own and throws it around your shoulders. Your teeth are chattering too hard to protest.

"Let's get you inside," he says. "Can you walk?"

"I t-think so."

You know Bodhi wouldn't mind carrying you, but you're all too aware that though there aren't many other people in the courtyard, those that are there are all watching you. You've already shown more weakness than you can afford to.

Still trembling and disoriented, you blindly let Bodhi lead you into the dormitory building, too shaken to care where you're going.

The bone-deep exhaustion that tends to follow your panic attacks is starting to set in, making every step an effort, but your heart continues to race. How are you ever supposed to feel safe again with the threat of fire living under your very skin?

The fear almost pulls you under again at the thought, but you shove it away, clinging to Bodhi's promise. You have to believe he really can keep the fire at bay; it's the only thing keeping you sane.

To distract yourself, you mull over how he did it. It must have been his signet, manifesting along with your own, but what exactly could it be? Water or ice would be good for putting out fire, but you saw neither, nor felt any wetness apart from your own sweat. Bodhi didn't just douse the flames; somehow, he completely stopped the flow of power that had caused them. Like some kind of blockade, protecting you by cutting you off from your signet at the very root.

It's not until you almost collide face-first with your brother that you realize you're on the second-years' floor. Of course — where else would Bodhi take you but to Xaden?

Your brother takes one look at you and immediately asks what's wrong. You don't need a mirror to know your eyes are red and puffy from crying, but even if that wasn't the case, Xaden can always tell when you're upset.

Not trusting yourself to speak without bursting into tears again, you leave it to Bodhi to explain what happened.

"Her signet just manifested. She's a fire wielder."

Xaden's brows lift. "O-kay? I don't see the problem. That's a bit basic, but that doesn't make it any less usef—"

"She almost burned herself to death because she can't control it yet," Bodhi snaps. "Not to mention that she's fucking scared of fire, Xaden!"

"What? Since when?"

"Since the execution! What the fuck do you think?!"

"How am I supposed to know that when neither of you told me? I'm not a fucking mind-reader, you know."

"Stop it!" If you have to listen to them argue because of you for even one more second, you'll burst into flames again. "Just— Stop!"

They both turn to you, their expressions immediately softening. Bodhi's hand is still clutched tight in yours, so it's Xaden who reaches out to wipe a tear from your cheek. You hadn't even noticed you've started crying again.

"I'm sorry, baby. I had no idea you're scared of fire. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it doesn't matter."

The truth is, you'd been too ashamed to tell him. Everyone else seems to be coping with their memories of the apostasy just fine; in comparison, you feel weak and pathetic. You hadn't wanted Bodhi to know, either, hadn't wanted anyone to know, but it's impossible for you to hide anything from your cousin, practically attached at the hip as the two of you are.

"Of course it matters," Xaden argues. "If I'd known—"

"Then you still couldn't have done anything about it," you interrupt, swallowing back more tears. It's easier to act tough in front of Xaden, because you know it's what he expects of you. "I know I'll have to get over it, but that's not something you can help me with. And I've really had enough breakdowns for today, so can we please focus on Bodhi instead of me for a moment? Because I think he got his signet too."

"You did?" Xaden asks your cousin, but not before giving you a look that says you'll be talking about your fear of fire again at a later point.

"Well, I'm not sure. Maybe?"

"He did," you insist. "He made the fire stop somehow."

"Is that a thing, stopping other signets?" Bodhi wants to know from Xaden.

"I don't know," Xaden admits, then sighs like he's come to an unpleasant decision. "Let's get you two to Professor Carr. He's an ass, but hopefully he can give us some answers."

[mins-fins]

119

&&. unfortunately you aren't as slick as you thought you were.

pairing: lee jeno x gn!reader

genre: fluffity fluff fluff fluff

warnings: sexual jokes, thats it 😚

word count: 1.2k

notes: jj spread the jeno bias disease i literally cant believe this 😭😭 hes so……….im abt to draft another long jeno fic + an smau + another stupid drabble and all of that fun stuff!! dont get it twisted jisung is still my ult though 😒 no ones ever replacing him, anyway this came from a prompt someone sent me, smth about "kissing someone on a ferris wheel" which i just LOVEEEED hello??? okay ik none of you care abt my words, love jeno, love nct dream, pray i get park jisung pcs 😇 good night now <33

you are going to murder na jaemin.

the moment you get off this ferris wheel your throwing up your guts all over his shirt, or punching him in his face, or strangling him to death, whatever. the moment you step off this ride you're making sure he doesn't open his eyes to see the rest of his fellow human beings ever again.

maybe if you were less awkward you'd actually be thanking him, but you take one side glance at the boy beside you and want to smash your head against the glass.

jeno doesn't notice your side glance (and thank goodness he doesn't because you probably would've died if he took so much as a glance at you), he's much too busy glancing at the view from the height your at. you assume that jeno likes ferris wheels, he probably likes them more than you do.

"are you alright?"

you mentally prepare yourself for the voice crack you know might escape your lips. just talk to him like a normal human being, y/n, yeah you're into him and shit but that doesn't mean you can be a weirdo.

"yeah" you finally respond, thank goodness the voice cracks don't come out. "just feeling a little nauseous".

jeno raises an eyebrow. "scared of heights?"

you only manage a curt nod, a nod that makes jeno scoot closer to you, his lips stretching into a smile. "it's alright, i'll protect you".

fuck you lee jeno, fuck you, fuck you, fuck yo—

your somehow able to chuckle, amused by his words. "it's not like i'm dying or anything".

jeno frowns. "so you don't want my protection?"

you pretend to think about it, pressing your lips together as your eyebrows furrow, avoiding eye contact with jeno at all costs. if you look at him, your going to fall and never get up. "i wouldn't be entirely against it".

jeno's shoulder nudges yours, nothing but a small touch that drives you crazy. you wonder if the mini breakdown your having is noticeable, if maybe, he's doing it on purpose, making your heart race to get a kick out of it.

but when you think about it further, it makes you giggle, because this is lee jeno, you could get down on one knee and propose to him yet he'd still be confused by how you feel for him.

if lee jeno knew how you felt for him really, you probably wouldn't have resisted the urge to make out with him on this fucking ride or already.

that was a strange thought, a stupid one even, but it's one manifested from your deepest desires.

when you think about it, though, you wouldn't exactly mind it.

"that's good" jeno snickers at you, eyes examining your face as if it's an interesting exhibit at an art museum. "you need me".

you feign a sigh of irritation. "of course, what would i do without you?"

"you'd die, clearly" jeno replies, tilting his head and reaching over to lace your fingers with his. the cold rings on his fingers feel like glass shards against your fingers, but his soft hands contrast his stabbing rings. "isn't this sort of romantic?"

you choke on your spit.

"romantic? roma— hah! what are you talking about? what is romantic about this?"

soooo natural, y/n.

jeno simply shrugs, suddenly very interested in the view of the carnival from the ferris wheel. "were on a ferris wheel together, stars before us, just the two of us, this would be like.. the perfect date".

you blink, the words making you pause and your head spin. is he serious? is he really serious?

"is this your way of asking me out?"

you manage to ask that without sounding like a pathetic idiot who wanted to hear those exact words, and your response gets the same reaction out of jeno, flushed cheeks with an awkward chuckle accompanying the sight. you would've thought you were a genius if you weren't as flustered as he was.

jeno is speechless, and he fumbles through his speech like someone's holding him at gunpoint or something. "i— no! no! ..maybe? kinda?"

you pause, all your former confidence suddenly withering away, the blood rushing to your cheeks in full force. you laugh, taking his words as a joke, but jeno keeps silent, and so do you.

"are you serious?"

jeno can't speak, so he just nods wordlessly.

you blink, glancing from side to side, this ferris wheel won't be on the ground soon, but at least this makes it a little more bearable. "did you just confess your feelings for me like that?"

"well to be fair—"

"i was supposed to do it first!" you yell in another fit of feigned irritation, your cheeks a color reminiscent of jeno's cherry red shirt. "that's not fair! you beat me to it!"

"well how was i supposed to know you liked me back?"

you scoff, and jeno goes silent again, embarrassed by the question he just asked.

"you're such an idiot lee jeno.."

"can i kiss you?"

the question is a blurt of pure desperation, pure honesty from the deepest corners of jeno's mind, an inquiry he's been dying to ask you ever since he found himself interested in staring at your lips.

you hope you don't faint from the scorching heat radiating off your face.

"it's romantic" he laughs, his best excuse for that random inquiry. "i've always wanted to kiss someone in a ferris wheel, unless you don't want to then—"

you (in the most cliche turn of events) cut jeno off with a kiss. though you'd love to keep your fingers intertwined, you let go of his hand to find purchase on his shoulder, then tug him closer to you with a light jerk. a small squeak emits from him, but he quickly relaxes into the kiss, giggling at your enthusiasm.

though he giggles, he isn't much better off. it's nothing but a small press of the lips, it's not intense or anything, but jeno feels his heart soar. hie face heats to overwhelming heights, and he loops his arm around your waist, pressing you against him, as if the idea of not feeling every part of you would be maddening.

you both are just as desperate as each other, there's no push, just pull. it's a playful competition, your waiting for the other to pull away, stop the kiss because they need breath, it's stubborn in an idiotic way.

but jeno loses your little battle, because he pulls away for air, as red as the sunset in the early morning.

and though you laugh at the sight, you aren't much better off yourself (if the heat continuing to permeate from your face is enough).

"was that romantic enough for you?"

even with how breathless he is, jeno still manages a stupid question.

he squeals when you land a slap on his shoulder.

and while you thought you two were slick about it, considering you were like five feet in the air with nobody to see you, your equally red faces and intertwined hands were enough to get feigned vomits from your friends.

jaemin snickers as he looks between you two, and you glare as you see him open his mouth.

"so what happened up there?"

"clearly they got it on".

upon hearing the words, you let go of jeno's hand to yell and chase after lee donghyuck, who squeals and sprints away, shouting for renjun to help him.

jaemin just sends jeno a knowing look, a look that the older pretends he isn't bothered by.

for once, one of his ploys finally worked.

[i-dont-even-know-anymore976]

my spine split from carrying us up the hill (i’m just getting colour back into my face)

a buddie relationship breakdown fic | 21.8k

tags: buck pov, buck centric, established relationship, break up, cheating, sad buck, emotional/psychological abuse, unhealthy relationship, eddie diaz bashing, 118 bashing, (tho i think it’s more critical but for the filters), season 7 au, in an au where buddie got together after the shooting, Relationship Breakdown, Buck & Ravi Friendship, anti buddie, No Beta We Die Like Bobby Nash, (doesn’t in this fic)

It took Buck a moment to process what he saw before him.  Eddie — his arms wrapped around some woman. His face buried in her neck and his fingers brushing her skin.  The other man’s eyes widening, his face going pale as he realised they’d been caught.  Buck barely heard Eddie gasp Chris’s name — the boy motionless next to him as they stared at a ghost.  At Shannon.  At Chris’s mother — who Buck knew was dead.  Had been to the funeral and seen them both through the messy aftermath. Had helped this child mourn once and already knew he’d have to do it again.  Or: What if it was Buck instead of Marisol

in a surprise to everyone — and most of all me — i’ve actually written something ?? for the first time in like three years ?? wild

tbh i think that scene in 8.17 just reaffirmed everything i'd been slowly realising about buddie and why they could never work and it somehow manifested itself as this 😅

anyway - a lil excerpt for you all xx

He regretted it as soon as the dial tone sounded. Had let his thumb hover of the name — debating — for more than a few seconds before giving in to the urge to press call.

And yet — as soon as it actually started ringing — he knew he shouldn’t have done it.

That he was fine. That he was being dramatic, once again.

But he also knew he couldn’t just hang up. That it would create a panic — force them to call back — to ask questions.

“Doctor Copeland’s office,” it was a new receptionist. Her voice melodically neutral as she answered the phone, “May I ask who’s calling.”

Buck stumbled over his words for a second, before rushing to explain, “Uh — don’t worry. It was an accident.”

“Are you sure… Mr Buckley?” She drew out the question as if reading the name off a screen and Buck cursed whatever Caller ID system the psychologist’s office employed that still recognised his number.

Her tone more concerned as she asked again, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah — yeah, of course.” He felt almost breathless as the lies left his lips, “Just a wrong number. Pressed the wrong person by mistake. Sorry for any trouble.”

“Okay — then,” she sounded doubtful. “Well, we’re here if you ever need us, Mr Buckley. Don’t hesitate to ring back now. Okay? I know Doctor Copeland would be more than happy to fit you in.”

“Yeah—” he agreed half-heartedly. Desperate to get off the phone before he did something stupid like actually ask for an appointment.

Knowing it was pointless. That he was fine.

“Have a nice day then.”

He finally freed himself from the conversation. Heart racing like it usually only did when he’s had to run up six flights of stairs in full turn outs.

He forced himself to drop his phone onto the counter — hands shaking as he thought about reaching for it again — and made himself walk away instead.

Looked around the kitchen desperately for something to do and was relieved to spot the small stack of dishes from the night before.

They usually did them together. Buck drying as Eddie washed — accused of almost flooding the kitchen one too many times before Eddie had finally relegated him to the less dangerous of the tasks.

They’d been too tired the night before. Exhaustion dragging them towards bed and leaving the dishes to wait until the morning.

It had been happening more and more lately. Truthfully Buck couldn’t remember the last time they’d shared their little ritual. Meals eaten in a rush as they raced out the door to work — whoever drew the short straw and got home first left to do the tidy up.

At least if Buck didn’t end up eating alone. Eddie always out these days — the friendship he'd struck up with Tommy keeping him gone until late whenever they had the day off.

Chris, even more sociable than his father. Forever at a friend’s house, or out with the girl that he swore to Buck wasn’t a budding romance. Swindling invites for sleepovers through charm and good humour that a young Buck could never have dreamed of emulating.

Always clinging just a little too tight for people to ever really settle in his presence.

It left him alone most nights. At least the ones he didn’t spend at the firehouse, revelling in the thrum of activity. Instructions from Bobby as they cooked, Chim and Hen’s quiet rivalry as they wrestled for control of the TV remote.

Eddie sitting next to him in the engine — their legs brushing they were sat so close. Sometimes it felt like the most intimate they ever were anymore.

Never mind the way they’d clung to each other having rescued Bobby and Athena. Buck pressing into bruises to leave them there a little longer. To remind himself that Eddie had chosen him, that he loved him.

Not that he needed the reminder.

Buck knew that. Intrinsically. He did.

Read on AO3

[sophsbookstore]

Chicken Shop Date

Lando Norris x reader ｡･:*˚:✧｡

Masterlist can be found in navigation!

Word Count: 2,348

Y/N walks into the chicken shop where they're filming the newest episode of her and her best friends youtube show Chicken Shop Date. Y/N and her best friend Amelia have been running the channel for a few years now, both girls switching off taking turns dating different celebrities.

Today Lando Norris was to be on the channel, and Y/N was ecstatic. Y/N has always been a big fan of formula one, with McLaren being one of, if not her favorite team. The original plan was for Amelia to be doing the date, the girls always switching off interviewing every other date, but Amelia knowing how much Y/N liked Lando, trades spots with the girl trying to set her friend up.

“Ok Y/N, Lando should be coming round the corner in a few.” One of the PA’s says, kneeling next to Y/N who was already sitting at the table, wiping her nervously sweaty hands against her legs.

“Y/N are you excited?” Amelia asks her best friend, Y/N side eyeing her friend before turning her attention back to the empty chair ahead of her.

“You suck, you know how much I like him, it was your turn to go on a date anyway!” Y/N whisper shouts. Amelia laughs, giving her bestie a quick hug before going to her spot behind the camera. The rest of the crew gets ready as Lando and his team enter the set.

Y/N watches anxiously as Lando shakes the crew member's hads, introducing himself to everyone before coming over and sitting across from her. “Hi, im Lando” the curly haired man says, holding his hand out across the table for Y/N to shake.

She does so, blush creeping onto her face. “Im Y/N, but i'm sure you already knew that” the girl stutters out. “That over there is my co-host Amelia, which I'm sure you already knew as well..” Y/N says kicking herself under the table in embarrassment. Lando looks at the girl, the smile never leaving his face.

“Ok you guys, we are starting in 3..2..” the director holds up one on his fingers, putting it down as everyone gets quet waiting for Y/N to start talking.

“Do you like chicken nuggets and chips?” what a way to start off the “date”, Y/N thinks to herself.

“I love chicken.” Lando says to the girl, smiling slightly as his head nods with satisfaction.

“That's good, I do as well.” Y/N reminds herself that this isn't a real date, she has to keep up the unbothered, bored character throughout the whole video. This is going to be harder than she thought. “Did you know that chicken makes you more beautiful” Y/N can feel her ears getting hotter.

“Does it really?” Lando asks, feeding into Y/N bit. Y/N agrees with the man, nodding her head.

Just then one of the PA’s comes out and hands Y/N a Capri-Sun, she places one in front of herself and Lando. Lando stares at the bagged drink in confusion, turning his head to the girl in front of him, back at the drink, then to her again. “How did you know I like Capri-Sun?”

“because…I’ve..Been, researching you..” the girl stutters out. Way to not sound like a creepy stalker, Y/N thinks to herself.

“I didn't even know I was doing this until yesterday.” Lando says, trying to steer the conversation away, stabbing his straw into the hole at the top of the bag. “I just looked at my calendar yesterday”

“Really? I've known about this for a while now, I've been manifesting it actually.” Y/N taking a bite of a fry, putting on a confident act for the camera.

“So manifesting actually works?” Lando asks, fixing the hod of his sweatshirt.

“It's been in my diary for about 5 years, you just didn't know about it until now.” Y/N shrugs, Lando leaning forward with laughter.

Y/N quickly looks over at Amelia, the girl silently laughing at her friend's awkwardness. Looking back at the monitor Amelia notices her friend secretly eyeing her down, turning to face Y/N she gives her a thumbs up, silently telling her that shes doing a good job and has nothing to worry about.

“Are you into, like, racing and motorsport?” Lando asks, trying to capture the girl's attention.

“Oh yes!” this perks Y/N up, being asked about something that she thoroughly enjoys. “I love Formula 1, my dad is a really big McLaren fan, so growing up we all had to be too.” Y/N finishes with a laugh.

“Are you still a McLaren fan?” Lando leans forward in his chair.

Wanting to play hard to get, Y/N leans slightly back in her chair. “I would say so, yes.”

“Who's your favorite McLaren driver.” he asks with a smirk.

“Oscar Piastri.” Y/N says, her face void of any emotion. Lando sighs, frowning slightly as he takes a bite of his food in defeat.

The pair could go on and on about racing, having both grown up watching the sport, as well as having the same favorite team, the two continue talking. “You know, I've never been to a race before.” 

This perks Landos interest. “I should take you sometime. Let me know which race you want to go to and I'll call a few people.” 

Y/N almost chokes on her drink. Did Lando Norris just invite her to her first ever race? Lando Norris. Her celebrity crush, and the person she has been manifesting to have on this show since it gained its popularity.

“I would really like that actually.” Y/N blushes, not being able to think of a cheeky comeback for his offer.

“You know what, bring your family too, you said they were McLaren fans aren't they?” Lando smiles at the girl, Y/N only being able to nod in agreement and thankfulness.

Lando takes a moment to eat some more of his food, Y/N looks over at Amelia, her best friend silently screaming and clapping for the girl. Y/N is stunned, her eyes wide, her mouth making an “o” like shape. Y/N shakes off the excitement, knowing that she still has to finish the “date” before she can get too excited.

“I hear it gets quite hot in there.” Y/N says catching Landos attention.

“Oh yeah, it gets very hot. Yeah, sweaty-”

“It would be even hotter if I was in there.” Y/N says bluntly. Lando opens his mouth to say a comeback, but when his eyes meet Y/N’s he shuts up, instead the blood rushes to his ears and he bites his lip. “Agreed?” Y/N instigates.

All Lando could do was nod and smile, his face getting redder and redder. Y/N takes her moment, taking a sip of her soda for confidence the girl leans forward, giving Lando her full eye contact as the interview carries on.

“Are you a romantic person?” the girl inquires. 

Lando takes a bite of his fry, looking at Y/N as a smile creeps onto his face, he looks down at his meal. “When I need to be.” he looks back up at the girl, still smiling.

“Good to know.” Y/N keeps eye contact with Lando, taking a bite of her fry, the boy winking at her subtly, making her nearly melt off her chair.

The two continue to eat in silence, one of the PA’s signaling to Y/N that they're about halfway through with the interview. This saddens Y/N, she doesnt want it to end. What if this is the first and last time she’ll ever get to see Lando. No, he offered to take her and her family to a race. What if it was just a joke? No, that would be too mean to be a joke.

“What's your ultimate goal?” Lando pulls the girl from her thoughts. “Apart from like this” Lando says motioning to the cameras and food in front of them.

“To fall in love I guess.” Y/N shrugs.

“That's cute.” Lando smiles at the girl. If she wasn't sitting down she would have passed out in the moment. 

Y/N analizes is face, taking in how cute he is before mustering up the confidence to continue the interview. “What's your type?” the girl asks.

“I'm open.” he shrugged nonchalantly.

“What do you specifically look for in a girl then?” Y/N questions the boy in front of her, desperately wanting to know.

“Just someone who's funny, has Y/E/C, beautiful, has Y/H/C, you know?” Lando continues to wait, trying his absolute best to act nonchalant. “How about you?”

“Oh you know, racer, has brown curly hair, brown eyes, a brown hoodie on right now. Nothing much to it really.” Y/N states, matching the energy as Lando looks down at his brown sweatshirt, looking back at the girl and smiling.

“Good to know.”

“Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?” Y/N doesn't waste any time before jumping into the next question.

“I'm big.” Lando responds. 

“That's perfect, I've been looking for a big spoon.” Y/N casually says.

“I've never been a little spoon before.” Lando laughs at the shock on Y/N’s face, the beautiful girl in front of him making him clarify that he's never been a little spoon before. “We could try,” Lando quickly says to Y/N, both taking a moment to imagine such a thing before turning their attention back to one another.

“Do you snore?” Y/N questions the driver in front of her.

“Yes.” he replies bluntly, leaning his body slightly more forward.

“No, really? That's a deal breaker for me.” Y/N puts on a fake sad face. She looks at the driver in front her, his face dropping ever so slightly, but enough for it to be noticeable. “It's ok, we can work around it” Lando nodded in agreement with the girl, his face perking up a bit more.

“How far away do you live?” Y/N asks, not caring about how creepy the question can sound. 

Lando laughs, looking down at his food before looking back up at Y/N “I love in Monaco.”

“Shoot.” Y/N sighs, finally breaking eye contact with the beautiful British man. “I don't know if I can do long distance.” 

Landos face falls, his smile faltering to a frown. “Well that's no good is it?” the two fall back slightly in their seats. 

“Am I going to have to move out to Monaco? Or will you stay in England full time?” Y/N asks, forgetting this is just a playful interview, actually thinking about her hypothetical future with Lando.

“Hmmm.” the driver ponders. “Whatever you want I'm good with.” he smiles.

Y/N laughs, playing along she obviously looks past the camera toward her friend Amelia. “I think we might have to move chicken shop to Monaco.” Both girls laugh, Lando blushing at the idea of Y/N moving her whole life to stay with him in a different country. 

The PA looks at the pair, walking around the camera and sneakily handing Y/N a custom made chicken shop trophy. Y/N thanks the PA before holding the trophy up and looking back at Lando. “You may not come first in anything yet, but you are the first F1 driver to go on a date with me.” Y/N holds out the trophy for Lando to take, he “awws” in response.

Lando holds the trophy in his hands, looking down then looking back up at Y/N “hopefully i'm the last F1 driver you have on. I would say our date was pretty successful.” he smiles.

Y/N doesn't hide her blush this time, looking down and laughing slightly before refocusing back at lando. “Maybe, maybe not. We’re still waiting to hear back from Oscar.” 

The director yells cut. The rest of the crew and various team members walk about the shop finishing their own tasks leaving Lando and Y/N to their own. The pair get up from their chairs at the same time, now standing in front of one another.

“Thank you for this again.” Lando says, motioning to the trophy in his hands. “I really had fun today.”

“Me too, thanks for coming, even if you didn't know until yesterday.” the two laugh, a comfortable silence falling between them.

“Hey umm, maybe we could do this again, no cameras or anything. I'm in England for another week or so if you're free.” Y/N is taken aback, did Lando Norris just ask her on a real date.

“I- umm, yeah I would really like that. I'll give you my number so we can plan it.” 

“Perfect!” Lando smiles, pulling his phone out of his back pocket, unlocking it, then handing it to Y/N. Y/N quickly types in her phone number, setting her contact name, and taking a picture of herself for the contact photo before handing the phone back to Lando.

“Well then i'll see you soon Lando” Y/N says, looking up at Lando, taking a small step closer to him.

“I'll see you soon Y/N” he holds his arms out, giving the girl a brief yet firm hug, before getting called away by one of his team members.

Y/N stands in shock. Recapping everything that had just happened since the director started filming. Amelia runs up to her friend, nearly tackling the girl with excitement. “What happened, what did he say?” Amelia interrogates Y/N, having witnessed their interaction from afar.

“I just got a real date with Lando Norris.” Y/N says, pulling out her phone to see a text from Lando with an address and time. It's official, her manifestation had worked and she was now going on a real date with the driver she's had a crush on since he signed with her favorite team. Lando Norris.

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

Transmasculinity Throughout Time: Greek Mythology

This is a relief of Caeneus from Greek Mythology getting beaten into the ground by centaurs with trees. He is one of three trans men in Greek myths that I will be discussing! Not only am I looking at actual historical trans men, but examples of transmasculine figures in myths and stories too. The next one will be FtM crossdressing and transmasculine longings written in Shakespeare - I am still wondering though, what other examples of transmasculinity in fictional myths and stories are out there?

Reiterating, I am not any kind of authority on history and am getting my information from accessible internet resources- if you want a source on something specific, ask - many sources are slightly to very problematic in how they talk about gender and transmasculinity so I prefer to not post them directly but will give them in the comments on request if you want to look into something. For this post, I am just going off of Wikipedia. Anyways, anything I post in Transmasculinity Throughout Time is my own opinions, I will talk casually and formally (I don’t really distinguish formality due to autism), and I will use the pronouns of my best judgement. If you don’t like this series for any reason, cool, don’t interact. If you like it and want to give suggestions, cool. I would like to bring transmasculine histories to light in my own way, and welcome a curious and open minded discussion.

In Greek myths, there are three trans men who are known of: Caeneus, Iphis, and Leucippus. If you read the following about Caeneus, please be aware of the content: specifically, TW for SA. Skip to Iphis and Leucippus after the break if you’d prefer to avoid it.

Caeneus was the child of Elatus and Hippea. He was born a girl, but was transformed into an invulnerable man after being raped by Poseidon. In some accounts, he asked to be transformed to avoid pregnancy. In others, it is simply so he doesn’t suffer the same thing again. This narrative is very interesting to me. Some modern sanism and queerphobia manifests as the idea of transmasculinity, lesbianism, or queerness of any kind as a response to sexual trauma. But Caeneus wasn’t a one dimensional victim turned oppressor. He was the strongest warrior of his day after he was transformed, and became king of the Lapiths. Somehow, he angered the gods, exactly how is unclear - it is suggested that it could have been worshipping or encouraging others to worship a spear instead of the gods. As punishment, they sent centaurs after him.

The most popular story involving Caeneus is actually his battle with the centaurs, not his gender transformation. It was called centauromachy, a battle between Lapiths and centaurs. Because he was invulnerable, none of the centaurs weapons worked on him, and he was difficult to defeat - to kill him, they had to actually bury him in the earth by beating him down with stones and uprooted trees. These centaurs were transphobic too. They said:

“Shall I put up with one like you, O Caeneus?

For you are still a woman in my sight.

Have you forgot your birth or that disgrace

by which you won reward—at what a price

you got the false resemblance to a man?!

Consider both your birth, and what you have

submitted to! Take up a distaff, and

wool basket! Twist your threads with practiced thumb!

Leave warfare to your men!” (Ovid, Metamorphoses).

“Transandrophobia isn’t real” “trans men have no historical presence” Meanwhile greek mythology be like… anyways.. So .. Then.. the centaurs were defeated by him! He was invulnerable. But they could still beat him into the ground with uprooted trees. It is described in Races’ translation of Argonautica, Apollonius of Rhodes: “They rallied against him, but were not strong enough to push him back nor to kill him, so instead, unbroken and unbending, he sank beneath the earth, hammered by the downward force of mighty pine trees.” This makes me think about how transmasculinity is buried in history.. Onto the next myths!

Iphis and Leucippus both have very similar stories. Iphis was born of Ligdus and Telethusa. Ligdus only wanted a son, and said he would only let the child live if it was male. The goddess Isis asked Telethusa to keep the child regardless of how it is born, and promised her aid in the future. Iphis grew up raised as a boy, and was “officially” transformed by Isis before marrying a girl, Ianthe. From Ovid, Metamorphoses:

“Her face seemed of a darker hue, her strength seemed greater, and her features were more stern. Her hair once long, was unadorned and short. There is more vigor in her than she showed in her girl ways. For in the name of truth, Iphis, who was a girl, is now a man!”

Leucippus’ tale is almost the same, he was born of Lamprus and Galatea, Lamprus would only accept a male child, and Galatea concealed Leucippus’ birth sex from her husband, giving him a masculine name and referring to him as her son. Upon puberty, he was changed physically into a man by the goddess Leto. This story actually inspired a male rite of passage in Phaistos dedicated to Leto, and inspired a wedding custom where brides would lie next to an image or statue of Leucippus before weddings. Two customs in an ancient greek city being inspired by a story about a trans man is an important and cool fact methinks.

[dunmeshistash]

ive always wondered if milsiril's overprotectiveness of kabru was less because of infantilisation (although she def like all elves has that problem) and more so out of guilt. she was a captain of the canaries during the Utaya incident I believe and she witnessed what happened and she couldn't stop it. and she left the canaries because of it and took in the kid who was the Only survivor, raised him in extreme comfort so he'd never see the horrors again and didn't want him anywhere near the dungeons! like i think learning self defense for defenses sake would have made her hesitant but she would have obliged but because it was specifically for the dungeons she was so against it. also like he must have had a rough few years dealing with that trauma as well which doubled her protectiveness

I believe it's a mixture of both, I don't think you can really take away the guilt (actually unsure if that's the best word to describe it) nor the race relations from how Milsiril sees Kabru.

I am the Milsiril apologist ™ but the fact she see's Kabru as a child even now is a big part of their relationship, she's a mother that can't grow up (both for being an elf and for her own issues) and that has to cope with her children outgrowing her fast

Putting a read more cause as usual when it's about Milsiril I talk too much

We can see in every way Milsiril acts that she sees Kabru at most as a toddler during his time with her, she's hand feeding him, has him in a room full of toys and talks about him like he's a cute baby.

I think people are too mean about this side of Milsiril tbh. I think it makes her interesting and it's clear (to me at least) that she does her best to provide for her children even if she doesn't truly understands them. Even in that first interaction with Kabru where she's trying to hand feed him they were *already* training with swords beforehand.

Milsiril also talks to Kabru in a way that kinda seems to expect him to understand more than what a small child would like we can see in the AB extra

So her infantilization doesn't extend to underestimating him at least, rather I think that's how she shows affection (which is still bad 😭)

Anyway, about her trauma with the dungeon and guilt (or maybe shame? Fear?), I do think that was one of the motivations for her to take Kabru in as I said in this post (beware I am a Milsiril apologist and I am VERY biased in seeing her in a more positive light, doesn't mean it's true) but I think that side of her manifests in her sudden switches from crybaby mom to ruthless master

Milsiril is very emotionally unstable from what we can see, she's really trying to convince Kabru not to go into dungeons and when tears don't work she switches into training him so hard he'll give up on his own. I've seen people call this her "true colors" or say she was using "crocodile tears" but in my opnion both the tears and the threat are genuine, I don't think it's a planned switch but rather the fact she's unstable to begin with, both the crybaby mom and the scary swords master are her true self.

Anyway! I think both guilt and infantilization are intertwined in her love towards Kabru, I've said this before but she's a flawed caretaker in a world where she does not have the resources to become a better one. She's traumatized she's depressed and she's an elf, but she's the only one (that we know) willing to at least *try* to treat the people she cares for the correct way. If it wasn't for Milsiril Kabru would have been raised by elves like Rin was (and we know that went very bad, they traumatized her), and Mithrun might not have received the proper rehab he needed to go back into the canaries (He might have managed but we see Milsiril put in the effort to help him cope besides being the one to tell him about Utaya)

That is all to say: Milsiril is still flawed!! It's part of what I love about her, and it's the reason so many people dislike her too. I'm saying this cause sometimes when I go on my Milsiril rants I get asks putting down Kabru to raise her up and that's like, very uncomfortable lmao. Even if she did her best he still was the one that to deal with all of her shortfallings while being raised and he's still the one responsible for getting to where he is, she just made is easier than it could have been.

Disclaimer as is usual for my Milsiril posts: I'm a Milsiril fan, my interpretations of her are very charitable because I often see people being way too uncharitable about her. Please read the original material and make up your own interpretation, this posts only contain what I think it's relevant for my point not an objective view of the whole. I've also already made several posts about her and I don't want to keep repeating myself so if you think I glossed over something important that's probably why.

Edit: thinking more about it, maybe rather than feeling guilty herself she might blame "elves" as a whole for the failure in Utaya, it does say she left it "in disgust". It's not that clear how she feels about it.

I still think it's shared trauma though, I don't think it's possible for Milsiril to not have been affected by what happened there and I think it's part of why she doesn't want Kabru to go to dungeons again. But her way to cope is to turn away from it (and blaming "elves" might be part of how she copes) while Kabru's is to face it so it doesn't happen again