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#APOLOGIES TO STAY
winwintea · 21 days
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secure that card! 19. pinky promise content warning: mentions of stalking, violent threats
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"I'm soooooo paranoid right now. Could you have been a little faster?" Jisung asked Chenle as soon as he hopped into the front seat of the car. Chenle rolled his eyes at Jisung, "Relax princess. You'll be well taken care of, Calm down." He turned around to look at you, as you buckled up your seatbelt in the back, "And you're not even the one in danger Ji." You gave him a thin smile, and he took notice of your appearance. You definitely looked weary and tired, and Chenle couldn't help but wonder if you'd gotten any sleep at all. The messages were bound to send anyone on edge. "Yah yah. Everyone's in danger at this point. I mean it's not that hard to see Y/n's schedule and figure out who she interacts with. Besides, the guy is also a law student." Chenle tried to tone down his excitement, "You know who it is?"
You finally broke your silence "Um... yeah... so you remember the sketchy guy Ten?" Chenle simply nodded, "So... long story short he wasn't the stalker, but he did manage to figure out who it was." Chenle tried to process the words you just said, "Huh. How'd he do that?" "I don't know... some technology hacking stuff maybe. I can ask Yuqi later, she's good at that." "Wait is that legal?" Jisung suddenly interjected into the conversation. Chenle shot his friend a cold glare, "Uh... hello? is stalking legal? I'd hope not. Our ethical concerns are quite literally out the door at this moment." Anything to keep you safe, at least. "Wait so who is it?" He was still curious about the stalker, and maybe if there was a motive behind everything. "Hwang Hyunjin? Jisung knows more about him than I do." At least it was somebody Chenle didn't seem to know. He probably would've done some... unspeakable things to them if he did. "What, I only knew that he was in our class! Which you did not know. Can't believe you don't pay attention to the kids in our class. That's about all I know about him as well." "Um, excuse me, maybe instead of being focused on the people in our class I'm focused on the lectures?" "Nerd." "Shut your ass up Park Jisung, I have your mother's phone number." Chenle couldn't help but giggle out loud at this comment, and it certainly seemed to shut Jisung up. He didn't realize how close you two were, and wondered why Jisung never at all mentioned you in the past. Chenle made a mental note to himself to ask him later. "How are you feeling though, Y/n?" "I'm alright, I guess." Your expression still remained firm, and it did not make him feel great at all. He hated how this was happening to you. You didn't even deserve it, at all. If you hadn't done any collab with Yizhuo, or... Then it hit him. If you never met him, then you would've never met Yizhuo, and this wouldn't never happened. Technically, he was the root source of all your problems. Chenle cursed under his breath, which was picked up on by Jisung, although Jisung didn't say anything. "You can stay over as long as you want Y/n. I can understand how difficult it is to be going through this." He glanced in the rearview mirror at you and smiled, "If there's anything you want, food, drinks wise, we can order it." "Dude, you seriously have a problem." Jisung gave him a sideways glance, "Food doesn't solve everything." Ignoring Jisung's judging comments and looks he continued on, "Food is quite literally the solution to all issues. It's like what they say for those Hershey Bars, 'you're not you when you're hungry'." "Snicker Bars." "Same thing." ————— Soon enough Chenle had arrived at his house (mcmansion) and you had all be ushered in as quickly as possible by Chenle for fear of potential harm or threat from your stalker. Yanan was quickly filled in with the situation, and bluntly stated that you needed some rest, as evident from the dead eyebags slowly forming. "Are you sure? Like I feel like I should be awake just in case something happens." Jisung placed his hands on your shoulders, "Please. You desperately need the sleep. And besides you've got 3 men willing to pr- err keep you safe, just in case."
"Alright... But just 3 hours okay?" "That's not enough, but it's better than none." Yanan leaned against the table the four of them were sitting at and crossed his shoulders, "Chenle, why don't you go on up and show her the guest room."
"You mean a guest room. How many y'all got? Like 50?" Jisung joked, as Chenle and you stood up to leave the room. "12." "Oh boo-hoo, that's still 12 more than the average U.S. citizen living in the united states." You followed after Chenle paying more attention to your surroundings than you had before. "So, do you have guests over often?" Chenle hummed in response, "No, not really, we just have so many extra rooms." "Then why is the elevator used as storage..." "Um..." Chenle wasn't sure how to answer, "Good question." You snorted in response and continued to trail after him. Although somewhat distracted, the stalker still remained on his mind. If Ten had tipped them off, they should've been gone soon? The whole thing stressed him out. He felt partially responsible for your entanglement in this situation, and since there was nothing he could do about it already happening, he promised himself that he would do all in his ability to make sure that you were safe.
You two had finally reached the guest room. Chenle opened the door and allowed you to go in, but didn't enter himself. "This is it. I would say feel free to do whatever, but you honestly need the rest so please sleep." Your mouth hung agape as you glanced around the room, "You're saying this is the guest room? Then what the hell does YOUR room look like?" Chenle eyed the space and mentally compared his own room to this one, "They're about the same size, although there is a door leading to an inner room, so technically it's 2 rooms in 1?" "I didn't even know that existed, ooohhkaaay..."
Chenle shrugged, looking back at you again, "Be sure to get some good sleep alright? Take your mind off the situation and relax, we've got some top notch security here so you're quite safe. Text me if you need anything." You smiled at him, this time a full smile, "Promise me you'll wake me up in 3 hours?" "3 hours, yes. I'm aware." You pouted, holding out your hand, "Pinky promise?" Chenle arched a brow at you. "Pinky promise? What are you 7?" "A pinky promise is a true promise that is never to be broken at ANY time!" You continued to hold your pinky out, "Pinky promise you'll wake me in 3 hours." "Alright alright okay, I got it." He held his own pinky out and locked them together with yours, "Pinky Promise." He chuckled "And pinky promise me you'll actually get some rest and not worry about the situation for these 3 hours." "Pinky Promise" Chenle gave you a sideways grin and a thumbs up before heading out of the room. Why did he find that cute? Chenle honestly couldn't remember whenever was the last time he had felt this way about a person. Or maybe there was none? No one seemed to rival these thoughts and feelings he had towards you. He'll admit, at first he was quite attracted to your looks. After all, he had nothing to base other than your almost-but-not-quite lifeless body for first impressions. And conveniently you also happened to appear in his life the moment he started his plan to acquire a green card. However, it was the feisty spirit, the constant rejection/reluctant acceptance of his gifts, the ambition in your eyes, and everything else that seemed to make you who you were that really pulled Chenle into a deeper battle of love for you.
And as obvious as it was that you didn't appear to feel the same, that never discouraged him. In fact, he saw this as a challenge. One that he was going to win.
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SUMMARY ▸ zhong chenle is the owner of many cards. a black card? he owns that. he even has a stanford student id card. the one card he doesn’t own though? a green card. and if chenle plays his cards right, he just may be able to secure one by wooing you. or it could all fall through… who knows?
TAG LIST ▸ @marvelahsobx @lyvhie @odxrilove @jkslvsnella @aquaphoenixz @wonnieluv @acidwon @syatchy @sleepyvic @grassbutneo @chcnlcs @taeeflwrr @hibernatinghamster @jaeimjaemin @gukuwii @slayhaechan @yyangj3lly @seunghancore @clean-soap @bath1lda @lostinneocity @defzcl @ckline35 @multifandomania @meltinghershey @foxy-kitsune @jising-jisang-jisung @minkyuncutie @zuzu-the-simp @dojaejunging
bonus: behind the scenes of me trying to make this chapter w/ a friend (can someone explain to me what happened WHY DID DISCORD DO THAT😭)
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inkskinned · 11 months
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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hunnam · 9 months
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haunthouse · 2 years
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redistributing wealth (searchable pdf of horror in architecture by joshua comaroff & ong ker-shing) to the masses (tumblr users obsessed with haunted houses)
enjoy! <3 xoxo
edit 01/06/2022: the google drive link stopped working for some reason but here's a working link to it on archive.org!
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p4nishers · 9 months
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there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.
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dollypopup · 3 days
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I can't stop thinking about Colin on his travels. Colin, alone, on a journey to 17 different cities, across several countries. Colin on his own.
Colin who writes letter after letter, to his family, to his friends, and barely gets a response back. How long before he understands that they didn't get lost in the mail? How long until he realizes that, just like when he was a boy, no one has the time for him? The space for him? How many letters unanswered before he lets it finally take root and fester in his mind?
He could have died on that tour.
Would they even notice? Would they see when the letters slow until they cease? Would they wonder why? His mum, surely (maybe, possibly, but she has enough on her hands, besides, and he's never been a concern, in need of her assistance, before), but anyone else? Anthony on his honeymoon, Eloise a stormcloud personified, Benedict taking on the familial responsibilities, Fran preparing for the marriage mart and in Bath, regardless. Daphne, his closest sister, a mum running her own estate.
Greg and Hyacinth who enjoy his stories, but are children.
Pen who ignores him. No explanation, no goodbye.
Colin who has no one in his corner. Colin who travels city to city, putting on personas. Will they like me? What about now? Colin who has hardly anything to read from the people he loves. Who do not think of him.
And yet he thinks of them. Brings them back gifts, writes his recollections for them until it hits him that, oh, they don't care. They don't care what he's doing, how he's doing. They didn't want to hear it before, when he was there with them, and they do not want to hear it now, either. Did they even open those envelopes? Did they see them come through the post, just as proof he's alive, and shrug off the contents? Did they look? Once, Colin sends an empty page. No one notices. Easier, then, to send just the outsides. People only ever care about the outsides. Pretty and prim in neat packages, uncaring of what lies beneath. Sea sick on the rocking boats, staring up at stars on the continent, Colin grows aware, but not bitter. Sad, but resigned.
He loves his family, he loves Pen, loves them to grace, loves them to it's okay. It was him, he determines. Too chatty, his letters too long, uninteresting, his passions dull or droll, or else, worse, he's displeased them in some way. Colin who takes refuge in stranger's arms and homes, who dreams and tries to sate his curiosity. Colin who pretends, because anyone, anyone but him would be received better, he's sure of it. Colin who must talk too much, surely, and with no one to listen. Colin who learns to hush.
Yes. Remarkable- as in, I have many remarks about it.
How many times did he go to excitedly write of what he did that week, and stopped himself, knowing it was a waste? How many times did he write and throw into the fire a letter asking Why don't you see me? Why don't you care?
If he didn't make it, how long would it take for anyone to notice? A month? Two? A year? Would they wave it off as his frivolity, denounce him as a flake and fume about the funds? Would they wonder where it was he had lost himself off at?
He cannot fall into that, so, he writes in his journal, instead. Of the ache of it, of how he longs for connection, for understanding, for someone to take him seriously. He keeps it with him, this log of his discontent, of his folly and felicity, of his pitfalls and pains.
If he didn't make it, would they realize all that's left of him is what he sent them, not even a body to bury? Did he look over the side of a bow of a boat and look at the churn of the ocean and think of how many bones it held? Did he tip his face to the sun? How many new scars did he earn? Who did he befriend?
Who did he become?
Somewhere along the line, Colin learned. He learned the real him wasn't wanted.
Somewhere along the line, somewhere between Patmos and Paris, Colin left Colin behind.
And, somewhere along the line, Colin laid face to face with loneliness in his bed, and it wrapped its arms around him.
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giantmushyfriend · 6 months
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Welcome back to the Ineffable lyric discussion (can I hear a wahoo)
In honor of the announcement of season 3 of our beloved Good Omens, I find it completely necessary for us to discuss one of the many songs on Aziraphale and Crowley's angelic playlist that made me scream my bloody head off. One of those songs is the one and only The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel. While I UNDERSTAND this song may have just been chosen to spell out SEASON THREE, I think it goes much deeper than that because of all of the parallels it draws to Aziraphale and Crowley. And ultimately, what I think is going to happen in terms of their relationship when they finally sort their shit out. So beware if you haven't watched season 2 of Good Omens because we're about to do a fucking DEEP DIVE into this.
First, the title of the Book of Love feels almost like a call to this looming threat to the Book of Life that was consistently used in series 2. The entire season, Crowley and Aziraphale have to work oh so carefully because with the Book of Life being confirmed, they know that either of them could get the other erased, and whether they want to admit it or not, losing the other is their biggest fear. We've seen this when Crowley believed Aziraphale to be dead in Series 1 when he couldn't feel Aziraphale's presence anymore since he got incorporated. When Aziraphale isn't there, Crowley is a mess. Likewise, we saw how both reacted during the ineffable divorce scene in series 2. Crowley is full-on begging Aziraphale to stay, and Aziraphale has finally admitted that he needs Crowley and full-on mouths for Crowley not to leave him. The Book of Life inherently, from how Neil set it up, feels threatening. The Book of Love, on the other hand, raises an entirely other reaction. Throughout the series, as corny as it sounds, love has been what grounds our protagonists. It is the love of Tadfeild and his friends that keeps Adam from kickstarting the end of the world; it's what keeps him from rejecting his father, the literal devil. It is the love of the earth, of humanity and all its strange creations, and for each other that keeps Aziraphale and Crowley attempting to prevent the end of the world when it could be so much easier to just accept the fate of it all. Love is the key theme that grounds our protagonists, that makes them tick. Love is safe; love is, at times, painful but overall kind. So when we see this title on their playlist, listed amongst heartwrenching tales of grieving a relationship, you could have had, and of loss, it brings a sense of salvation and safety. The Book of Love, unlike the Book of Life, is not a threat- it's a sanctuary for Aziraphale and Crowley.
Now, diving into the lyrics.
"The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts, and figures, and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me.
And you
You can read me anything"
The first couple of verses inherently feel like Aziraphale and Crowley's original view on this notion of love. As two supernatural entities who aren't bound by human emotion or logic, love may seem superficial and downright silly at times. The courting procedures that different societies have taken on throughout the centuries and the songs and dances that come along with it may all seem like a big waste. The book of love is a manifestation of love itself, and originally, it seems unappetizing to our protagonists. That is until they refind each other, and love goes from this thing that humans feel and jump through hoops for to this tidal wave of emotions. Love felt silly and unrealistic before, but with each other, they are willing and excited to explore it, even if it comes with things that feel inherently silly.
Also, these verses draw some cute parallels to headcanons and features of cannons. If you've been involved in the Good Omens fandom long enough, you've probably stumbled across the idea that Crowley asks Aziraphale to read to him for a multitude of different reasons. Some people say it's because his eyes aren't meant to read, one of the many punishments that came with him being cast down from grace, or maybe it's just because he finds Aziraphale's voice comforting. Additionally, the line about instructions for dancing is just so heartwarming when we look at the ball scene from this past season and Aziraphale's daydreams of a romance worthy of a Jane Austin novel.
"The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
Adn things we're all too young to know
but I
I love it when you give me things
and you
You ought to give me wedding rings"
I'm sure we've all heard this idea that you'll understand love when you get older, but even when you get older, it never seems to make sense. This idea that love is too old for any of us to truly understand, and that humbles us but in the best way possible. There is no point in trying to figure out what exactly love is because you could spend thousands of years feeling it and watching it happen all around you and still not know exactly what it is besides this all-encompassing feeling. And that is exactly the perspective of Aziraphale and Crowley. They have seen countless examples of love, true, unwavering love, and they have felt it for each other. And yet they themselves cannot begin to fathom what love, true unconditional love, is exactly. These two supernatural, ethereal/occult beings are humbled by the very concept of love like humans are- and that love is drawn from each other.
And then there is this notion of giving, which pairs so well with Crowley's primary love language, acts of service and gift giving. If the first chorus was Crowley talking about how he loves it when Aziraphale reads to him and takes care of him, then this is Aziraphale talking about how Crowley displays his love. And this final notion of asking for that final commitment, one of the key ways humans express their love for each other, is just amazing. Because in a way, Aziraphale moving to make this commitment, to fully be on their side in this way, is the resolution we have been wanting since the beginning. For Aziraphale to finally feel safe enough to let go and finally let himself settle to where he finally belongs, on his side with Crowley.
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trustymikh · 2 months
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where is my beach episode
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beanghostprincess · 2 months
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Sanji and Usopp during The Sabaody Incident™ won't leave my mind.
Usopp standing in front of Sanji protectively because he is wounded and he can't fight, so Usopp will do it for him ("I'll do what you can't do").
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There is just something about Sanji's expression when he realizes he might actually lose Usopp. This is my interpretation, at least. He is literally frightened.
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Usopp helping Sanji stand up to run away. This is crucial for something I want to point out later: Sanji needs help to stand up. (Also, Brook disappears trying to protect them both and saying he will do anything to save them even if it costs him his life. I am feeling sick).
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Sanji being self-sacrificing and blaming himself for not being able to protect them/act sooner is not new. But he does manage to gain the strength to fight when Usopp is the only one left with him and the possibility of losing him is even more real now.
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The thing that I love the most about this is not Sanji sacrificing himself for Usopp, because he does that. He is like that. But Usopp not running away or moving in the slightest because he refuses to leave Sanji on his own.
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Something I'd like to point out too is that Sanji actually touches Kuma before Usopp disappears. He tries to fight and protect him and Kuma could've easily sent Sanji to Momoiro Island right away, and yet Sanji was just sent flying far from the scene and forced to see Usopp disappear in front of him.
And I am not saying that "not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew" but not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew.
Not to mention that we can't deny (right after Water 7/Enies Lobby) that Usopp is one of Sanji's strongest bonds within the crew. This specific scene focusing on them both is more than enough to prove it.
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Sanji seeing Usopp disappear in front of his eyes without being able to do anything to save him.
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Remember what I said about Sanji needing help to stand up seconds ago? Well. This is him the moment Usopp disappears. What adrenaline and the power of love do to a mf.
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They are so "I can lose everything, but not you. Oh God, not you" shaped.
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palms-upturned · 7 months
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I can’t even keep up with the Al Jazeera live coverage of Gaza fast enough to highlight specific bulletins. Every single report is so damning. I’m going to try to compile a timeline of bulletins regarding the attacks on Al Shifa and other hospitals tomorrow, but please, please if you haven’t, read through yesterday/today’s live pages. The hospitals are surrounded by Israeli tanks and snipers. Anyone who moves too much inside the buildings or who try to flee on foot are being shot and killed. Buildings in the medical complexes are being bombarded and catching fire. Power has run out and two babies at Al Shifa have already died because of the incubators losing power. ICU and dialysis patients are also going to die at this rate. Most if not all other hospitals are in the same situation. People are already dying just because the doctors can’t get to them to treat them. And those dead bodies can’t be kept in the morgues anymore because there is no refrigeration. They’re going to have to be buried in mass graves on hospital grounds. And the survivors will have to cope with hunger, dehydration, poor sanitation, disease outbreaks, lack of medical care/supplies, and the continued bombardments. Salah al-Din street is getting bombed. Rafah is getting bombed. There is literally no safe place for anyone to go. Israel is not going to stop either until the Gaza Strip is emptied, or somebody fucking stops them.
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secondbeatsongs · 2 years
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"You're Gonna Go Far Kid" with every first beat removed
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inkskinned · 9 months
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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cartoonsbyandie · 4 months
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Naka's doesn't want to ask Aoko to help change his gunshot-wound bandages. (Movie 27 is looking pretty good huh)
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zeb-z · 7 months
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Foolish going in with two totems as a part-totem who never, never uses totems. His screams for Leo as the ceiling caves in, trying desperately to throw her a totem through the barrier. Digging, trying to glitch, trying to problem solve in a situation so chaotic and so impossible, there’s just nothing he can do. Not leaving until his totem pops - until he can’t see Leo anymore. Repeating to himself that she was right there, just right there, he couldn’t even get her a totem, he couldn’t do anything.
Foolish staying behind to make sure Tina and Mouse get out, to make sure he sticks with Cellbit, telling himself he can feel it later, as long as they survive, he can feel it later - and running out of time. If he hadn’t stayed behind digging for Leo, he would have made it. If he hadn’t given all but one of his enderpearls to the others, he would have made it. If he wasn’t looking over his shoulder for Cellbit, he would have made it.
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littlebigmouse · 5 months
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"Hey, can I copy your homework?"
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"Yeah sure, just change it up a bit so the teacher doesn't notice."
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buwheal · 5 months
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I wanna give him a blanket. Can it maybe just materialize outta nowhere?
(I know fabric wrinkles suck to draw. You don't gotta 😵)
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