#Absurd idea

[tonsorialart]

Absurd But Cute

If Bridgerton peeps were cat lovers!

If Lady Danbury had cats...

If The Queen had cats instead of Pomeranians...

If Hyacinth had cats...

If Lady Featherington had cats...

Sorry Newton and Royal pom! Every dog has his day, but not today!

Best friends! 💙🐈‍⬛🐾#parody

[litchipreserve]

i like attention but of course i don't wanna ask

[mintaikkcorpse]

I fuck hard with Asexual Venom, but the idea of Venom, an alien whose species doesn't breed sexually and don't have concepts of sex, being sexually attracted to some boring sad and sweaty white guy he picked up on the streets is just so funny to me

[semperamans]

hi! i have no clue what i'm doing here, but i've been so inspired by @harrysfolklore, so i decided to try my hand at smaus! i'm also so very new to the world of f1, so pretty please go easy on me <3

in my weird little noggin' - yn is a famous singer dating shawn mendes whom (spoiler) turns out to be a jerk and wittle baby oscar is in love and just wants a chance :'( let me know if you wanna see more <3

fc: gracie abrams

liked by piastrisbakery, teammclaren, landoe04, and others

piastriupdates oscar is never beating the fan boy allegations and we love to see it :')

view all 1,342 comments

sc4rlett_44 LANDOS FACE I CANNOT

↳ vroomvroombois he looks like spongebob after squidward ate the krabby patty 😭

↳ piastrisbakery you like yourusername, don't you oscarpisatri 😏

landoland A FEARLESS RESPONSE SOME MIGHT SAY FDHJFKSDHF

↳ newintown THE WAY YOU CAN TELL THAT'S NOT THE FIRST YN-RELATED PUN LANDO HAS EVER SAID TO HIM

↳ forever_mclaren omg PLEASE go watch the 'oscar being in love with yn for 15 minutes' video on youtube. you'll quickly find that lando is the captain of the yncar ship.

wrongagain osc is soooo cute!! but yn is never leaving shawn. they're too perfect for each other ❤️

↳ oscarsfearless89 idk... oscar talks more about yn than shawn does at this point...

liked by zendaya, oscarpiastri, shawnmendes, arianagrande and others

yourusername shawn peter raul, how i will forever love you :’) the sunshine on my darkest days. i simply don’t know what i would do without you. thank you for choosing me two years ago today <3

view all 1,112,210 comments

love4yn mom and dad mom and dad mom and dad mom and dad!!

↳ starryeyesandbutterflies i think your parents are getting divorced bc shawn didn't even post her :(

↳ ynlover111 SAYING YOUR PARENTS ARE GETTING DIVORCED IS SOOOOO CRAZY WHAT THE FUCKSJDF 😭

forever_yn i love when we get boyfriend pics of shawn but he never posts any cutie pics of our girl :(

timotheechalamet ew

↳ yourusername shouldn't you be clocking in at the chocolate factory right about now? 🤨

vroomvroombois PLEASE oscarpiastri not you liking this like you aren't WAITING for the day they break up 🧐

↳ f1fanatic81 osc would 100% treat yn better

↳ landoe04 i see what you did there...

camilaisqueen shawn and camila were cuter imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

↳ ynsgirly I SWEAR TO GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT KING CHARLES' DUSTY ASS WIFE

↳ speaknowstan arguably the better camila...

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shawnmendes uploaded a story!

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mclaren posted a new video!

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yourusername uploaded a story!

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liked by calilovesoscarp, sc4rlett_44, pitstoppiastri, landoe04, and others

oscarpiastriupdates these spot the difference games are becoming impossible.

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foreverpiastri ive never seen him look so angry...

sc4rlett_44 the audacity of that interviewer 😬

↳ newintown wait, what happened?

↳ sc4rlett_44 during the pre-quali interviews, someone from press kept dropping shawn mendes song titles in their question and he was making it *really* obvious. Osc was pissed.

↳ vroomvroombois he turned into such a little diva. i love.

↳ piastriprincess no because if someone said "hey Oscar, i'm curious if you would be able to treat YN better than Shawn Mendes? i've heard you're a fan, so i figured you'd be left in stitches following the news. luckily there's nothing holding you back! hopefully YN will have some mercy on you!" i'd kill them

↳ ynoscarsunshine osc is such a gentleman though :( "you know those are actual people you're making a joke out of, right? someone in that situation has real, hurt feelings, and, to be honest, i'm unintrested in joking and capitalizing off someone's pain. next question."

shippingyncar the way he defends her </3 oscar > shawn no contest.

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liked by selenagomez, yourbrother, oscarpiastri, oliviarodrigo, and others

yourusername *taps mic* is this thing on?

well, hi there! i apologize profusely for my sudden absence, but your girl had to touch grass, pick up some new hobbies, catch up with old friends, and teach my nieces how to tell good apples from bad ones (a very important life lesson)! for complete transparency, i've had a really rough go of things lately. the heart was never meant to break with millions of eyeballs upon it, but mine did and boy did it suck. if you find yourself hurting now, please let me be your reminder that hard times *do* pass. things *will* get better. just give it some time.

i'll get off my soapbox! anyway, i am *so* excited to show you guys what i've been working on while cozied up on my parents' front porch swing watching spring roll in :') i'll being seeing you guys oh so soon 💚

view all 1,101,238 comments

drewbarrymore ❤️😘

inlovewithyn istg your instagram posts are like a kiss on the forehead

mclaren 🧡 if you're looking for a new hobby, watching F1 races is highly entertaining! ♥️ by author

↳ oscarpiastri this is true.

↳ landonorris can confirm.

↳ charlesleclerc can also confirm.

↳ lewishamilton 👆🏾

↳ maxverstappen fast cars are fun, yes.

↳ danielricciardo very fun indeed.

↳ scuderiaferrari ❤️🏎️

↳ bestofyn YN HAS THE WHOLE GRID IN HER COMMENTS I CANNOT WHAT IS HAPPENING

↳ boxboxbaby EVEN FERRARI IS HELPING OSCAR SHOOT HIS SHOT IFDSJFISL?!

arianagrande the vid u sent of your nieces singing defying gravity has been on repeat 💖

rarebeauty stunning ❤️

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liked by sainzsmiles, danielricciardo, landoe04, landonorris, and more

mclaren yo bro, who got you smiling like that? 🧡

we are smiling because bahrain is just five days away!

view all 13,210 comments

landonorris i know 😏

↳ oscarpiastri 🤨 mclaren i'd like to request a new teammate

↳ danielricciardo i also know 💁🏽‍♀️

↳ piastrisbakery danielricciardo WHY DID YOU USE THAT EMOJI??? I CANNOT

↳ danielricciardo because i am sassy 💁🏽‍♀️

↳ maxverstappen i know, too!

circuitcutie oh this is absolutely bc yn followed him back

↳ bigmclarenfan ?? can we focus on racing please??

↳ oscpresso no ❤️

↳ danielricciardo no 💁🏽‍♀️

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(part two)

[veliseraptor]

so very profoundly done with the idea of "redeemability" as the most important metric of whether or not it is "okay" to like a villain character

[technically-human]

Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...

Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...

Part one

[natalieironside]

I hope someday we can build a more beautiful world where "They're just doing their jobs" will no longer be accepted as an excuse for monstrous action

[mymarifae]

guys twitter dot com doesn't like when you criticize toriel's parenting decisions. don't do it

[comradesummers]

i will never understand why there is a genre of buck stans who feel the need to express their love for him by completely mischaracterizing him as a vindictive thin-skinned asshole. like they're out here writing fics and metas about what if instead of supporting his sister when she was on the run from her abusive husband, buck refused to help her because he holds the years she was isolated from him by her abuser against her? or what if he refused to admit he had done anything wrong or hurt anyone during the lawsuit arc and instead he left the fire station completely and stopped talking to any of his friends until they begged and groveled for his forgiveness? or what if he had chimney arrested after the punch? or what if he starts treating baby bobby han worse than he treats jee because of his name?

not only would buck buckley never do these things, as someone who likes and enjoys his character, i genuinely cannot wrap my head around why anyone, especially people who claim to be his biggest fans and defenders, would want him to act so abhorrently.

[kaleidoru]

the downsides of knowing an angel personally... they will know certain things before even you do AKA the time Umbriel found out the aftermath of a former drunken fling (they/them for Umbriel and he/him for Kushiel also)

[nero-neptune]

DETENTION | 2011 | dir. joseph kahn

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

vaggette toxic one-sided idea purge

how carmilla inducts vaggie into the overlords only partly for fun and velvette is so pissed off about it she plots to fake romance vaggie in revenge

and Velvette maybe might have been slightly more into her and Vaggie's rap battle then she realizes oh whoops, oh no

@barblaz-arts this is your fault not mine. Point the blame inward.

the set up

Carmilla satisfied with her investment in the hotel and Vaggie, gets her to come along to the next overlord meeting purely just to increase her new ally’s power and her own, completely with no ulterior or petty motives

Alastor horrified static twitching smile, politely raises the point that he considers the hotel to already be HIS turf

Zestial amused, tickled, and delighted Carmilla has made a friend and is finally having some fun, politely pulls out a chair for Vaggie at the table

Other overlords scared of Zestial, respectful of Carmilla, fresh from rewatching footage of Vaggie gleefully impaling exorcists with the spear she brought along to the meeting. Say nothing

Velvette arrives late on purpose bc she doesn't give a shit WHY THE FUCK IS /SHE/ HERE??

Carmilla maybe smiling just a little

The battle over letting Vaggie sit in as an honorary overlord, as rapped very intensely at each other by Velvette and Vaggie:

Velvette: Hear ye, hear ye! Look what the Carmine dragged in~

(cue music number)

Here’s a chirpy little birdy, the harpy of hell’s daughter, come demanding things left and right like her words hold any water. No souls no turf, sorry girl, nope, no seat at the table, and with one eye gone she sure doesn’t even look so able. Appearances are everything- if that’s something you can see, your optics next to ours would get hashtag embarrassment from me.

Overlords, over all you know hells a hard-ass place. Charity and mercy? Ha! Weakness and disgrace! Carmilla says she’s worthy, Carmilla made a deal, the more fights they pick with heaven the more sales for Carmine’s steel.

Don’t buy the crap they’re pushing, say fuck that and resist! We’re the power of earthly Sinners, and she’s a-

(Velvette just barely remembers her plan to keep the Exorcist intel she's dug up as a secret from everyone, fellow hothead Vees included, until exactly the right moment shows up- and being sat in the same room as Carmilla, Alastor, and Vaggie, within easy spear range, is /not/ that moment)

-she’s just some lacky with a list! We’ve got our own cred to keep up, to keep hells Sinners all in check. She’d be the collar on the leash of a royal rope tied round our neck.

Vaggie: Are you done?

Velvette: Sure thing, sweetness.

Vaggie: Great.

My name’s Vaggie and I’m busy, I’ve got bigger fucks to fry, so sorry if I’m blunt but I’ve got no time to lie- Your cred’s a bunch of bullshit. You think this is where I wanna sit? I’ve got our hotel to go home to, with heaven hellbent to destroy it.

We all saw you sit back, cowards, and watch the Radio Demon run, so whose turf really is it? Who faced Extermination and won? Who’s been there for Sinners while you’ve used them like a knife? Charlie’s the real Sinner’s power, she protects them with her life.

She’s got better stuff to do than listen to you whine, someone’s gotta hear it though, and if it’s me then fine. You’re not the worst assholes I’ve seen play with others souls, and you’re all Sinners scared of dying, so we even share some goals.

Unlike all of you though, me and Charlie we don’t have to pay and trade. Instead of buying a Sinner’s soul and time we can trust the friends we’ve made. I didn’t make them stay and fight, they gave their all for free. Who looks weaker in that light? You overlords, or me?

Vaggie: Also, you really think poking fun at the half blind woman is a win for you? Ask the corpses of the Exorcists who thought they could get the drop on me. My girlfriend says the eyepatch looks hot and hers is the only opinion I care about. So fuck off.

.....

Velvette can't think of a good clap back, weirdly having trouble thinking at all while Vaggie's glaring at her, but also kinda doesn't want the battle to end just yet

Velvette Warns her to sit quietly during the meeting and let the REAL overlords talk, then gets up close and personal with Vaggie and excuses it by whisper-threatening that it’d just take one text to make her friend Angel Dust’s work hours a living hell

Vaggie, irritably pushing her back at spearpoint, clearly resisting the urge to Stab reminds Velvette that Angel’s work hours with Velvette’s pathetic manchild of a friend are already a living hell for him, and he STILL talks back to Val anyway, and that’s WHY Vaggie is taking a seat at the overlord’s table, to try helping the other sinners that people like Velvette have left behind because they're too scared and spineless to help anything except themselves

(Ding! Bullseye)

Velvette looks actually pissed and not at all smirky anymore, leans in while ignoring the spear-

Carmilla smoothly starts the meeting right then before anyone other than Vaggie ends up losing an one eye

Velvette ends up being the one who spends the whole meeting unusually quiet, staring thoughtfully at Vaggie between making furious vent texts. She's somehow less upset about Charlie's pet murder angel sitting with the overlords than she is over losing her cool and almost skewering herself on Vaggie's spear like an idiot

That's a Vox and Val thing to do, that's why they need her, the only one of the Vees to NOT screw herself over some random looser who doesn't even like her

... but what if she could MAKE Vaggie like her?

If she could steal Carmilla's new tamed Exorcist- Charlie's right hand woman, part of why Val's toy still had a bolt hole in hell to hide in, and the only reason Alastor had met a hell princess with enough hope for her dreams she'd throw in with an overlord to finally get the ball rolling on them-

And Vaggie's switched sides before, miss ex Exorcist living in hell and picking fights with heaven. Why not help her do it again?

Poor overworked glorified secretary. Velvette knows for a FACT that her and the princess haven't been seen out on a single date since the hotel opened. With nothing else in hell for her but her girlfriend, that has to be getting to Vaggie, right? She could do with some appreciation.

If nothing else, the hell princess will probably be very sensitive to anyone else openly and personally appreciating her girlfriend. She might even do something rash, something to show the overlords and all of hell just how far they could trust in hellborn royalty.

Vaggie or no Vaggie, Velvette could work with that too.

She might even be able to blackmail Vaggie into working for the Vees, in exchange for NOT letting all of hell know that the hotel of supposed love and hope had a Exorcist stalking it's halls.

The beauty of that is Velvette wouldn't even have to sic any of her own souls on them. Just tell the Sinners the truth and watch the angry, vengeful, terrified mob tear Vaggie and everything she'd ever touched to shreds. All win, no loss. Vox would have already done it if he knew. She wouldn't mind sitting back with some popcorn and liveblogging the carnage with him and Val, if it came to it.

Ohhh but the satisfaction if she COULD take the Exorcist right out from under all of them...

And having an angel on their side would give the Vees one hell of leg up in whatever shit heaven thinks up next. They could really use a manager too, at this point in their business expansion- Velvette's got too much of her own shit these days to deal with Vox and Val's on top of it. A fourth Vee, in a coordination role, not interested in farming any souls or turf of her own, would be perfect- especially one that can cut through both bodies and bullshit.

Her name even fits with their theming. Velvette and Vaggie, the flipside to Valentino and Vox...

Hmm.

Velvette: Realizes she's been staring at Vaggie again, and Vaggie's noticed, and spares her exactly one second to give her a quick Glower before going back to arguing with someone.

Velvette: smiles and snaps a picture

The princess of hell is right about one thing. The eyepatch really is quite a Look.

-

Velvette some unspecified time later: It’s just for the bit okay

Vox: You seem to be wearing one of her feathers as a necklace

Velvette: Duh I'm wearing it- almost got hellfire crisped by the princess while snagging it off her

Vox: And the uh, stroking of it?

Velvette: Alllll part of the plan

Vox: You've made a whole private website of her

Velvette: You think faking being in love is some bullshit commercial you can just half-ass your way through with a pretty face and the right outfit? Especially when she used to be an Exorcist? I need intel! Research! The woman dresses as sharp as she is, Vox, and her fav accessory is a soul killing spear

Vox: You and your fixation on women with weapons...

Velvette: Ew. Shut up. This blog is about going down on h- getting my roleplay down right, damn it! This is WORK!

Vox: It looks like a fanpage-

Velvette: BLOCKED

[clockworkreapers]

so... today is 413. I am not sorry.

[frigidlyauthorial]

also obsessed that both outie and innie marks' plans hinged on the other one just figuring out the next step on the spot

[egophiliac]

I feel like F/P/S was still a pretty weird one, even by Lance's standards.

sorry for (in an ironic twist) not doing much Ride Kamens art now that it's actually started; I've been pretty slow going through it and I feel weird posting about things I'm not caught up on! though I'm. definitely gonna have to set aside some time to actually get through episode 13, after what they posted today. (w-what did they do to my Leon) (NOBODY TELL ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN) (LEOOOOOOOON)

[lectorel]

Set of characters:

Allegedly brainwashed 'assassin' who keeps coming up with increasingly absurd interpretations of their orders to avoid killing people.

Exasperated handler who is begging their boss to just use the word kill instead of euphemisms.

Boss who is curious how far the assassin can stretch this bit, actually.