#Also 'trouble reading' is a really common ND trait!

[desultory-novice]

Where comes the idea that Kirby "needs adult guidance?" When has Kirby been shown to ever need guidance by anybody outside of the extraordinary circumstances of Rainbow Curse and Mass Attack?

Kirby is always the one doing the guiding. He's at the head of the party. He also isn't native to Dream Land and we're left to assume he cared for himself perfectly fine before arriving there in DL1.

(Let's not be so quick to remove "traveling" from "traveling youth." Remember that the travels Kirby have been on are inter-planetary ones. This isn't the anime where he was a sleeping infant. The series tells us he's been on galactic adventures before arriving on Popstar.)

Kirby IS a childish character, of that there is no doubt. They are quite likely to be a childish child! But Kirby is no one's dependant.

Kirby is perfectly capable of surviving alone, on their own, in situations that have toppled kingdoms. He can also logic out what is going around him with only loose context. In fact, he picks up on complex situations like Susie's and Taranzas really fast.

Kirby can be young. How young is up to each individual person. If it's your HC or you want to write familial relationships with him and the cast, by all means, write him as whatever is cutest/most fulfilling!

But for the series in a general sense? The evidence of Kirby needing other's supervision, protection, and guidance isn't there.

[transmasc-wizard]

Hey, was reading through your post about abelism in writing and I wanted to ask how you would suggest to better approach some of these descriptors. Obviously research before using any term that's an actual diagnosis, but for the more general like "odd" and "blunt" how would one use those respectfully? Is it just kinda make sure you're not using them exclusively for villains or to use them not inherently negatively.

Like they're blunt so they can be kinda rude unintentionally but also they're really sweet and genuine because they say exactly what they mean

You've pretty much hit the nail on the head yourself with "don't just give them to villains and show they're not inherently negative". the problem isn't things "odd" and "blunt" as descriptors specifically, it's when people act like being odd, blunt, easily tired, insomniacs, etc, are inherently character flaws.

Character flaws are supposed to be something that makes characters seem "worse". Being odd, blunt, always tired, depressed, hallucinating, and the like are all very common neurodivergent & disabled traits, or--in the case of being depressed & constantly tired (aka Chronic Fatigue)--neurodivergences & disabilities themselves, and none of them are inherently flaws.

Obviously not every neurodivergent/disabled trait is good, they're disabiling for a reason, but imo, you should think about whether something should actually be portrayed as a flaw or if it's just a neutral trait.

Like, your blunt character's bluntness--you've expressed how it can be both a good and a bad thing. Their bluntness (common ND trait lol) isn't the problem, their tendency to be accidentally rude is. It comes from being blunt, but so does their tendency to be genuine.

And yes, try not to have all your villains be neurodivergent or disabled-coded when your protagonists are not. So, like, an eccentric, often-tired villain who has trouble socializing and rarely sleeps has... something going on. You'd want to balance that out with good characters who have similar traits.

I hope this makes sense, thank you for asking your question respectfully.

[queerautism]

(before reading i would like to say i accidentally talked too much and it accidentally became possibly a vent??? no matter what u get a cookie for 0 reason but bc i said so. if u want to u can just delete the ask and not even look at it or whatever. i would prefer if you didnt post this ask itself and if u respond to it do it in a separate post. Edit later: I was going to ask a question relating to all this but I forgot it and honestly im not going to just delete all of this which is a lot. my stance on the “dont post this” has changed and it would be ok just add any tags u think are needed??)

sorry about this really long message /gen i just never talk to anyone about this and got a little too deep into talking about it all.

no clue if this can be answered but i have NO clue who to talk about this to (if you know anyone who could answer this better please direct me to them!!). back when i was younger, i had an emotional attachment to my (not legally back then) adopted siblings. they were related to me by blood, as cousins and their mom had just given them to us randomly and we decided to take them in. i loved them so much. and she took them away from us, just to put them up in another home and another and eventually they ended up in the foster care system and she went to jail.

now, i was in an awful state during this time where they weren’t with me. before then, my mental health had been pretty good, no meltdowns/tantrums/etc and anger issues weren’t a problem. but when they were taken, i got worse and worse pretty fast. Everything started going downhill and I would always be getting in trouble at school, at least one problem every week if not more. This was around maybe second or third grade? Not sure.

Started getting attached to books and minecraft youtubers to try and help this all out, but all that happened was just an obsession for the rest of my life and nothing else. All my anxiety & stress and whatever else were a cause of this experience but I never even think about this anymore and it doesn’t make me feel much looking back (besides misery and wanting to cry about something that isnt even a problem anymore), i just wish i could tell my past self they would come back.

They’re back with us and have been legally adopted for maybe 2 years now? I don’t remember. My anger issues are getting easier to handle, but I still snap at people sometimes and some people have assumed I have BPD, which I’m pretty sure I don’t have. Even my cousin thinks I have BPD.

During this time, I had been in a girl scouts group that my mom made and everyone in the group had left us because I was (and i quote, paraphrased but i remember this well) “weird and different” and because of my anger issues. Which back then, I had no diagnosis’s for anything and now looking back it’s an even worse memory since turns out I’m ND. Oh and I also sleep deprived myself when my siblings were gone and now i have insomniiiaaa

again sorry for the really long ask, have a good day and I dont know how to end this since I accidentally just vented to someone who doesnt even know me sorry :(

It's really okay. There's nothing weird about you. You were in a shitty situation where you had no control, and changes like this during formative years can have a big effect. It can absolutely be traumatic.

I'd say it might be a good idea to look into emotional regulation issues, and maybe CPTSD, which has a lot of traits in common with BPD. You might want to look at DBT therapy, there's workbooks you can do yourself and I've found them really helpful

[residentofthedisc]

Very, Very Personal (and a Little Projecting) Headcanon

Ray Doyle from The Professionals is neurodivergent. 

Specifically, I’m gonna argue that the closest condition would probably be undiagnosed ADHD. 

(Also Bodie could be also ND because there’s an entire episode surrounding Bodie’s apparent PTSD which is never brought up again because of course) 

OK. Hear me out. 

- Depression.

Doyle exhibits depressive traits within the canon of the show. The Rack is probably the clearest example: he loses interest in his hobbies (i.e. not working out, his bikes, etc.), exhibits extreme guilt and self-deprecating (self-destructive) behaviours, and pulls away from support networks. In Discovered in a Graveyard, his tendencies to overthink and blame himself are well enough known by his coworkers that they question whether he’s going to fight for his own survival (and there’s an interesting little off-hand comment that Doyle ‘forgot’ to set his locks, so possibly more self-destructive behaviour) and worry about it. So, essentially, him being ND isn’t necessarily a huge stretch of logic? I mean, he could have bouts of depression and depression is a common comorbidity for people with ADHD. 

- Mood swings and extreme emotions. 

Doyle seems to fluctuate wildly between some fairly extreme moods. He’s described within the fandom itself as being mercurial. He flips a switch from utter joy to quick rage to broody self-reflection in minutes.  Now, this could indicate bipolar disorder or ADHD but as his moods have clearly defined triggers, I’d lean towards ADHD. 

- Intense emotions and moral codes. 

Doyle is described as being hot-headed and passionate and sensitive. He wears his heart on his sleeve and has a remarkably strict moral code for the job that he does. He has a real sense of right and wrong as well as an intensity of feelings to match. On it’s own, this doesn’t really mean he’s ND, but along with the other traits, it could be autism or - again - ADHD. 

- Impulsivity and reckless behaviour. 

Doyle is reckless. End of. OK, nope, let’s elaborate. 

Doyle is constantly putting himself in danger by running straight into situations without thinking. He forgets to call in if he’s found something, he speaks without thinking, and elements of his backstory could be indicative of this being a life-long trait. His ‘I cut up another kid when I was just a kid myself’ story and stories about causing trouble don’t mean that kids with ADHD are naturally violent, but that constant impulsivity and (due to other ADHD factors) difficulty in structured environments can land them in hot water. I can’t imagine a 1950s-ish school in Derby or probably Birmingham the unspecified city he grew up in would have the resources or understanding of his condition and that may have pushed him into crime and juvenile mishaps. He does point out that he joined the police to put him on the straight and narrow - perhaps showing that he needs external structure to be imposed on him to feel he’s functioning properly. 

- Hyperactivity/attention span. 

So, I’m not sure if Doyle could be considered hyperactive in the traditional sense. He is not jumping around all the time or constantly moving exactly, but I think there’s still an argument here. Whenever Doyle is waiting for something, he seems to be constantly fiddling with things; brain puzzles, reading, his own clothes, etc. All of these could be an ‘acceptable’ form of stimming he’s developed, but he does seem to have more energy than Bodie, but Bodie could just be messing him about. Similarly, the moments he’s focusing, he can be focusing intensely enough that Bodie has to repeat - possible hyperfocus? This section is probably the biggest reach. 

- Random traits because my own ADHD has completely bored me out of continuing nicely. 

* Sensory Processing Issues: very uncomfortable in suits and ties, has very specific styles and clothing materials he appears to like. Wears sunglasses a lot so possible photosensitivity (but also is likely just wanting to look cool). 

* Special interests: He seems to get quite obsessed with certain things, particularly cases and keeps picking at them even when they seem solved. (I think) Bodie occasionally mentions him ‘still going on’ about things, unrelated to the story. 

* Social difficulties: Doyle is not smooth, especially with romance. Honestly, he actually gets turned down by women more than I expected with characters like this. 

* Masking: Doyle is canonically good at undercover. Not unbelievable with being in the police, but what if he learnt this first masking his neurodiversity? 

* His long term memory is excellent. 

OK, so, long post and I am absolutely projecting because it would be really nice for my teenage hero to be both queer and neurodivergent like me, but I do think that it wouldn’t take a lot of twisting for Doyle to be diagnosed with ADHD. 

[autistic-beshelar]

Neurodivergent Link Headcanons (BOTW)

Here are... my headcanons for ND Link! I’ve tried to put them in fairly concise bullet points so hopefully they make sense. A lot of the autistic/adhd traits overlap, but I’ve put them in separate sections just to try and make this easier to read 

Headcanons under the cut!

Autism:

 - sensory seeking! Link needs constant stimulation and his preferred sensory input is touch, whether it’s rubbing his palms over tree bark or smushing his face in soft pillows. Auditory and visual stimulation are good too, but he’s very, very tactile. Of course taste is another big thing for him, he loves cooking and trying out new food and exploring different tastes, whether it’s sweet or spicy or sour, the stronger the better.

- he stims. SO MUCH. he has so many stims that I’m going to make a separate post to include all of them, but the main ones are rocking and flapping his hands.

- very good with gross motor skills, generally good with fine motor skills but there are a select few he struggles with - he has very poor handwriting, has to focus tying shoelaces, struggles washing his hair, overestimates how hard he’s brushing his teeth and makes his gums bleed

- poor interoception. Has a hard time telling when he’s hungry, or tired, or in pain. Sometimes he will walk around with an injury and not realise until he sees blood. Finds it hard to recognise negative sensations and his body tends to just interpret them as discomfort.

- very good at recognising and deciphering expressions and body language, but not particularly good at (or interested in) emulating it. He’s very astute and can pick up on microexpressions and hidden glances and the like, and can work out people’s true feelings or motivations, but in a social context he’s not necessarily good at responding to it.

- easily picks up on small details and notices things others don’t - this can be related to the former point, but also just in general. Also very good at pattern recognition which lends itself well to solving shrines.

- nonverbal. Mostly uses sign to communicate, or noises (usually with animals or people he’s comfortable with). Can occasionally manage to speak in short bursts when he has to, but it’s few words and usually stuttered, and if he gets at all stressed (which he often does if he’s forced to talk) he won’t be able to say much of anything. He can talk a little around Sidon and Zelda, they’re pretty much the only he feels comfortable enough to be verbal with, and they understand the way he talks and are patient when he’s slow or gets words mixed up.

- difficulty with eye contact. Either too little or too much, though usually it’s the former. He only tends to stare at people if he likes them, or if he’s angry with them or trying to make them uncomfortable

- echo echo lalia. Loves to repeat fun noises, especially animal noises, but sometimes words (sees a dog and just goes doggy doggy doggy doggy doggy for the next hour). He does this with sign as well, but tends to prefer making fun mouth sounds

- special interests in food and horses! Those twins at the stable were right. That’s all that’s on his mind. Food and horses. He really loves trying out new ingredient combinations and exploring different tastes. And he knows a great many horse facts. 

- forms connections with animals more easily than with people. This is partly because when he first left the Shrine of Resurrection he was alone in the wilderness, and partly because he doesn’t really talk, but it’s also just an autism thing. People are friendly to him, but he doesn’t tend to form deep connections with them like he does with animals.

- can tell the time by the position of the sun in the sky but can’t read a clock. What are those numbers on the slate. It’s a mystery!

- has mild visual processing issues, mostly struggles to focus on things like screens or pages, things look blurry or strangely coloured, or have a weird overlay.

ADHD:

- inattentive AND hyperactive AND impulsive, a triple threat

- gets the Zoomies. Often ends up conking out afterwards. Will run around chasing frogs all day and then just fall asleep in the middle of a field

- Can’t Stay Still. Has To Bounce Leg.

- nonexistent sleep schedule. Granted, he doesn’t sleep well or regularly what with travelling all over Hyrule, but even without that his sleep would be terrible

- sometimes zones out in the middle of a conversation. Good luck guessing whether he’s having a seizure or if he’s just thinking really hard about jellyfish

- alternatively, he will hyperfocus. Very good at hyperfocusing on shrines, or anything that involves challenges. Also good at hyperfocusing on physical activities.

- executive functioning… what’s that. Link doesn’t know. Link can’t organise to save his life and honestly thank god for the sheikah slate because without it he’d be screwed. Cannot schedule, cannot plan, cannot organise. 

- thrillseeking!!! He gets easily understimulated and needs adrenaline to survive. Will do anything remotely dangerous for fun and profit. 

- often thinks very quickly, usually jumping quickly from one thing to the next, but only about certain subjects (usually related to animals, nature, food, chaotic activities) and usually when he’s full of adrenaline. Although other times, especially when he’s tired, it’s just. Dial up noises. Head empty

- focus juice… for mentally taxing activites? Nonexistent.

Expressive language disorder:

(It used to be separated into receptive language disorder, expressive language disorder, or mixed, but these days it’s lumped together into developmental language disorder. However I use expressive language disorder for link because he specifically only has problems with expressive language (forming his own words) and not receptive language (understanding other people’s words)).

- gets words in the wrong order

- sometimes replaces a word with something else, especially if the signs are similar

- has difficulty with tenses (more so in verbal speech)

- often misses out words completely

- has quite a large vocabulary, but struggles with word recall. Will sometimes remember the word he meant to use hours later

- often flaps his hands in an attempt to remember a word, if he can’t think of it he will try to find an alternative

- c a n n o t  s p e l l. Sometimes when he doesn’t know the sign for something, he’ll try to fingerspell it, but if the word is hard to spell he’ll try and find an alternative

- finds sign much easier than spoken language, because its grammatical structure (particularly how it uses tenses and combines language with muscle memory) is simpler to use for him, and because it’s so expressive he finds it easier to get his point across

- his language disorder is a part of why he’s nonverbal (as well as that he has a bit of a stutter), so signing in general is just much easier, though not everyone knows sign, and he isn’t fluent himself.

Epilepsy: 

- has temporal lobe epilepsy

- mostly gets absence seizures and focal seizures

- absence seizures (essentially his brain ‘switching off’) are his more common ones. They usually only last a couple of seconds, and tend to look like he’s just distracted or zoning out (which he also does because of ADHD), though sometimes his eyelids will flicker, or if he’s walking or doing something he’ll suddenly stop, and go back to it like nothing happened. He isn’t aware of them at all. If they happen during something like a conversation with someone, he’ll just dismiss it as being distracted, though he does start to notice when he has longer absences and misses whole sentences, or has clusters of absences.

- focal aware seizures (auras) usually present as deja-vu, intense fear, or out of body feelings. He doesn’t realise they’re seizures for a while, since he experiences these anyway, and attributes the deja-vu to the memory loss, but eventually learns to tell them apart because his auras tend to come on very suddenly, though they can last a while

- he also gets focal impaired awareness ones, which tend to happen more when he’s very tired, especially when waking up/going to sleep. When he gets auras he’s still completely aware of his surroundings (and usually doesn’t have trouble moving, unless it’s a particularly bad one), but with impaired awareness he gets drowsy and confused, and won’t understand what people are saying

- usually his focal seizures stay just that, but sometimes they will become tonic-clonic seizures. This is usually only when he’s exhausted/injured/extremely stressed/otherwise worn down. Most of the time his auras come on soon enough to warn him he might have a worse seizure, so he can go somewhere safe (at least, once he realises he’s epileptic

- they’re arguably the mildest, but his absence seizures at the most dangerous, even though they’re usually short, because he gets no warning for them. He usually gets them a couple of times a day (especially waking up/going to sleep), but he gets them more frequently if he’s very tired, and if he gets absence clusters it makes it really hard to do anything.

- his main triggers are sleep deprivation, missing meals, extreme stress, and extreme heat. Which is unfortunate considering he spends his time running around Hyrule on no sleep and forgets to eat all the time.

in conclusion link is neurodivergent and i love him. thank u for ur time pls feel free to comment ur opinions and headcanons etc 

[rasp-passion-two]

Hello, sorry if this is annoying but can you explain how Himiko is neurodivirgent, I don't mean to come off as rude or anything, I just don't know much about the topic and am curious? Sorry to cause any trouble.

It’s absolutely not any trouble!! I love talking about how Himiko shows signs of being neurodivergent. It hits close to home specifically since not only is she one of my favorite characters, but I relate to her a lot. Okay, this might be a bit long, so sorry about that lol:

So in case you don’t know exactly what it is, neurodiversity is when mentally your brain is wired differently than normal, or “neurotypical”, peoples brains. Especially with considerably easy functions like socialising, thinking, learning, developing or ageing, and many others. Many disorders can fall under the neurodiversity spectrum. ADHD, BPD, autism spectrum disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, dyslexia, and many others.

Personally, I think Himiko would fall into the category of being autistic, which has a lot going into it, but can be summed up as a developmental disorder that involves delays in communication, thinking, social situations, and basic human understanding.

Though there is a thread on Twitter that does a good job covering certain criterias that I won’t end up covering (her lack of understanding of social cues, development delays, the reason why she’s depressed, etc.) and it’s really good!!

Below, I’ll list the traits that, in my opinion, Himiko possesses that are common in ND people. Not all of them will be listed, just the bigger ones:

Talking in a slow, almost “emotionless” way

Himiko talks a certain way throughout the whole of the game, rarely ever changing even when she’s expressing very strong emotions. From the very first line she speaks, Himiko talks about something exciting to her, but still sounds very flat and unenthused. Most ND people will always speak in the same tone of voice no matter what. Sometimes, it's very flat and monotone, like Himikos. Sometimes they'll speak slowly either to gather together what they want to say next, or that's just how they were wired to speak. (Almost exactly like Jataro from DR:AE who speaks in a similar way. Who also has a few neurodivergent traits. But that's just a theory c:)

Childish behavior

This usually ranges, but Himiko has a few traits that neurodivergent people have that others consider “too childish”. She’s extremely naive in how she perceives the world, people around her, and their intentions with interacting with her. Like when Kaito asked her to bring her a crossbow of all things and it takes little for her to be convinced to assist him. Or when Kokichi makes fun of her, and she doesn't always gets it. She's sometimes able to understand, but mostly she doesn't understand that he's just taking advantage of her innocence to treat her how he does with others. She takes things everyone says at face value and believes them easily. Her peers consider her to be a bit slow in many areas, almost in a childlike way. She almost has a child-level understanding of vocabulary (i.e. pronounces words the way children do like how the way she says magic almost sounds like “myagic”, her vocabulary is pretty limited, and she usually starts using certain words that she hears others use). When having her Master brought up with the possibility that he left her selfishly and that she was better than him, she always denies it, keeping an innocent mentality so she won’t feel too bad. After being motivated to move forward, she’s seen a lot to want to be helpful to the group and do something useful, and in return they, in my opinion, view that behavior how older people view a child wanting to be helpful to them. The thread above goes more into detail (her bathroom issues, having a unique way of remembering and referring to objects), but these are only some of the examples for Himiko's maturity.

Being a “gifted child” when she was young

This is entirely my speculation since this is never addressed in canon, but Himiko strikes me as a former “gifted child” which most NDs go through. Her “gift” was discovered at a young age and she was really skilled at it. She was known for it by huge masses of people and praised for it. She even had to save the person who saw the talent in her and taught her everything she knows about it when he made a mistake. She gets invited to all types of events because of it. Lot’s of ND kids who were thought of as “gifted'' may have gone through the same thing. It would also explain why she’s so depressed and unmotivated through most of the game, as a result of what’s called “gifted child syndrome”. Having so much praise and expectations set on her so young. Getting older and not having the same energy for it as you had before. Technically all the DR kids are former gifted children, since they're the product of a company exploiting their "gifts", which is a factor in how the world ended in the way it was. But Himiko has more, you could say "traditional" symptoms and after-effects of growing up as a gifted child (depressed, lack of motivation, lack of motivation in her subject, etc.).

Being viewed as lazy

Even though she takes what she's passionate about seriously, less than when she was younger or not, Himiko doesn't always take action with magic, and even everyday tasks. ND people usually lack any sort of drive, sometimes having an “I’ll come back to it later” mentality, excited about it or not. Himiko lacks any drive and motivation throughout the game, even at the idea of being killed, or put in the line of suspicion for someone's killer. She’ll always make excuses on why she can’t act on things, the most common being “she doesn’t have enough MP”. Which goes back to her talent as a magician, which she is especially sluggish in.

Bottling in her emotions and not wanting them to show. But when she does, it results in an on-going meltdown

We all saw it in its prime during the end of the third trial after all, right? Himiko was sort of always closed in, but it wasn't extreme since she hadn't hit her lowest yet. When she did though, (being the prime suspect of Ryoma dying, her closest friends Tenko and Angie dying, being one of the suspects of one of their murders, etc.) She still attempted to hold it all in, which ND people do for a variety of reasons (not knowing how to process extreme emotions, not wanting too much attention by expressing them, or choosing unhealthy ways to process your feelings, amongst others). But once Kokichi called her out for the second time? Not only was everything practically gushing out of her face, but she literally passed out from crying for so long. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that myself, ha. 

The same thing happened in the last trial kind of. Once the truth of the killing game and their identities is revealed, she seems to have a meltdown. It could be from the overwhelmingness of the situation. It could be the amount of "change" of the situation, which she doesn't even remember. It could also be overstimulating tones with the change in environment, the info dumping, and how everyone jumped from topic to topic etc. Meltdowns are normal for ND people, especially since they usually hold in their feelings. Himiko got better at expressing herself, but meltdowns will still happen once something overwhelming occurs (it's a great way to let out steam!!)

Stimming

Stimming is when someone, ND or not, self-stimulates themselves by repeatedly moving in some way either by speaking, moving either themselves or something else, or watching someone else do it. Most of the time, you can see Himiko fidgeting with her fingers or with her hat. Doing something with her hands, which is a form of stimming

Despite that, Himiko most noticeably stims by speaking, as she sometimes repeats stuff others say, sometimes repeats a word in order to comfort herself and her beliefs (saying “it’s magic” over and over, either in retaliation or in general), and has a go-to word that she’ll always use almost every sentence when she doesn’t know what to say, is caught off guard/by surprise, or just when she starts and ends her sentences (y’know like, “nyeh”?).

“Odd” facial features/expressions

This one presents itself a lot in the game and through her design as well. Her lip stays tucked out all the time, her eyes don’t always stay open, and her face often keeps the same expression (tired and kind of bored). Just like when she speaks, even when she's expressing intense emotions, she'll keep a mellow expression. She lifts her hat into the air and not much changes expression-wise. She'll be accusatory to someone and not much changes expression-wise. To certain people she interacts with, they think her face is "weird" since it'll pull in ways it usually doesn't for NT people. It could be because she's trying to force the look on herself so it's more easier for people to read (which is shown to be the case for most people), but it's also possible that it's just how she looks. Since she's older, she has more freedom to make more strategies to have more natural expressions, but it's still off-putting to some of her peers.

The infamous saying, “she comes off as annoying”

Many people know this one well, and Himiko is no different, especially in the earlier chapters. Almost everything stated above is a factor that plays in people's disdain for Himiko, in the game and the fandom. Characters like Shuichi, Kaede, Tenko, and even Angie are one of the only few people who try to understand and adjust to Himiko's behavior in their own method, while everyone else either ignores her, doesn’t take her seriously, or even end up bullying her because of it, not willing to adjust themselves for her specific brand of behavior. Being an obvious target, coming off as weird, being too blunt and coming off as rude (which even caused her having strained relationships with K1-B0, Miu, etc.), sometimes hyperfixating too hard on magic (her “special interest”), all seem to be a reason for people thinking she’s too high maintenance.

,,,this ask sure is a month old isn’t it? retrdfyugihhuyt I am EXTREMELY sorry I answered this so late, but I haven’t been online lately because of moving, but at least I managed to finish this in less than a day lol. It’s long, but I love Himiko, and love all the quirks that make her who she is, and am happy to explain it to others!! I hope this answered your questions either way (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[rainbowamory]

Mansfield Park (1999) Review

The film I am reviewing is the one that came out in 1999. There is actually another film made in 2007.

I want to start by saying that I was a fool. I take back everything I said in my first post about this film. I had been reluctant to watch it for the reasons I explained in the previous post, but I finally pushed myself to give it a chance and… by the end of the film, it went from being my least favourite cousin love story in a novel to one of my Top Favourite films exploring this kind of relationship. I want to explain why I loved it this time round and what my impressions were of the book vs. the film.

The truth is I read the novel by Jane Austen years ago, so I don’t really remember the exact details or what the film might have changed. The main love story is still there. They might’ve just changed some details of the scenes here and there. But I remember that my first impression of the novel was that Edmund was indecisive and took forever to realize Fanny’s worth. Or that’s how it seemed to me, and that was the main reason for the bad impression I got of the book. It’s possible I misremembered or simply misinterpreted the book’s version of Edmund.

As for Fanny, I thought they changed her personality completely, but that too was a misunderstanding. The first time I tried to watch this film, I had only watched the opening scenes and I was irritated because I didn’t like the creepy stories that Fanny was reading out loud… I recall the book version of her being more sensitive, so I was put off by those opening lines because it seemed on the surface that the film version of her was harsh and unfeeling.

But the fact it, sometimes Fanny is cold on the outside, but she’s a sweetheart on the inside, and always faithful. (Wait a minute. Isn’t that my type?? So how could I possibly dislike her?) I think if they changed anything about her it was just that they made her personality more vivid and passionate in the film. They didn’t change her core character traits or values from the book.

The 2nd reason I had a negative impression of Fanny was that before I watched this film, I had seen some screenshots of the 2007 film, and I noticed two males in the picture, which sometimes indicates a love triangle. My personal preference in ships has always been monogamous pairings. The only scenarios in which I am ok with non-monogamous ships is if all characters involved are truly poly. I don’t care for stories where one person leads on two people and acts like the center of attention. In the 1999 version of the film, it’s clear that Fanny’s heart is always with the one guy: Edmund. There is no ambiguity there. If Henry Crawford feels like a third wheel, it’s his own dumb fault because no one is leading him on....

As I watched more of the film, it became clear that the dilemma Fanny and Edmund were really going through was the dilemma of a second-born son being in love with a woman from a lower class. Their marriage would not have been “advantageous” in a material sense in their time period. That was a huge part of what was holding them back from getting together.

So Edmund actually had a good reason for his hesitations. He was struggling inside because he felt he didn’t have enough to offer Fanny if she were to be his wife. And the only reason Fanny went along with the courtship with the other guy was because she too was trying to make the best of her circumstances and the fact that being with Edmund was not initially an option.

➤

[Typo in the captions below. It should read “I hope you know how much I shall...”]

Edmund and Fanny were always each other’s first choice. And they were always honest with each other every step of the way, even when they were going in separate directions. There was no sleezy deception. It’s this fact that ultimately won my heart: this consistent mutual respect. It’s what made them worthy of each other in the end.

There were a number of other things I also loved about this film. Often times, when consanguineous pairings are handled in fiction, especially more modern fiction, they tend to set the pair in a “broken family backdrop”. That’s something I really hate—this implication that incestuous relations only happen in unstable or “dysfunctional” families. Mansfield Park appears on the surface to follow this stereotype, but there’s more going on. Fanny’s uncle is a very sick individual who gets away with horrific crimes, but there was unfortunately nothing Fanny could directly do as she didn’t have the power to expose him. To add to that, Edmund’s mother is emotionally absent, Fanny’s parents are always struggling with poverty, and Edmund’s siblings are troubled in their own ways.

So one can say that Edmund and Fanny really only had each other. But it’s clear that the “broken family backdrop” is not the reason they got together.

I look at the common Cousin Dynamics to see where Fanny and Edmund would fit, and they actually don’t fit into the 3 main categories that are most typical. They grew up separately up to a certain point, and they didn’t seem to see each other as siblings, so it’s not Dynamic 1. But they did grow up together under the same roof for a big part of their lives, so it’s not Dynamic 2 which involves more distance. It’s not Genetic Sexual Attraction, because they did not fall in love upon first meeting. They had developed a bond and shared history before they fell in love.

They were playful and mutually supportive and they just seemed very in synch with each other’s personalities and values. It was a bond that came with the build-up of trust over time, familial and romantic at the same time. The “broken family backdrop” in this scenario did not force any of that. If anything, it only brought two already close people even closer. Dysfunction in their families was a circumstance, not the catalyst for their love.

Would I recommend this film? YES. However, you should know it’s not a plot-heavy story. It’s more a “slice of life” kind of story. When I watched it with my partner, half-way through she asked me, “Is this one of those stories where nothing really happens?”

My answer was that actually a lot is happening, but it’s in subtext. The themes that we see in subtext include women’s social expectations, inequalities between genders, classism, and the darker undertones of what was happening with slavery in those times.

But the main story is focused on the inner conflicts and coming-of-age of two characters.

It’s a refreshing exploration of a relationship that is allowed to form without the added stigma of the “incest taboo”. This is also due to the time period in which the story is set, in which cousin marriage was not automatically seen in a negative light.

As the 2nd born son, Edmund will not inherit the main wealth of the family. So their future is that of a clergyman and a clergyman’s wife, a humble middle class couple. This is an interesting alternative to the usual stories about royal couples or rural stereotypes. And something tells me they will not be the blind, bigoted type of religious people. Edmund’s comments about the music at church and about Fanny’s character traits, and Fanny’s own ability to see through falseness in others shows they are people who can see the very essence of things.

Watching this movie was like watching a dream. It was beautiful and very charming and satisfying. The symbolism, the subtle humor, the way it was filmed, the acting… every decision fit the story and the themes. I was getting worried near the end whether it would end the way I was hoping it would, and when he started confessing to her, this was my reaction: 

YES. SAY IT YOU SON OF A B*TCH. SAY IT. APOLOGIZE TO HER. THAT’S RIGHT. YES. NOW KISS HER. 

And after that moment, all was forgiven in my head…

It was really a treat for a romantic with an open mind. And I regret dismissing it before, but now that I’ve seen it in full, I love it so much I would actually like to make a fanvideo for it eventually.

[myfandomrambles]

Carol Danvers First Thoughts

I really liked her a lot and have some opinions. 

Okay, Some Stuff I Really Like:

I really liked her ability to have confidence even while scared. It is very powerful when we see people who are scared but do what they need to anyway.

I love the “get back up” imagery it is a really powerful motif and it's a pretty strong character trait that was consistent no matter what. Giving some consistency in a movie that could feel a bit disjointed.

Her ignoring rules is another way they connected her character across a very volatile character in other wars. I also enjoyed that even when others tried to force her into boxes but she would not do it was really important.

The costume being non-sexualized was amazing, but the outfits can still be in character and theme without being a cat suite built for males to think are hot. 

That helping support a woman of colour being why she is considered brave and hero to her family.

That we weren’t shown graphic or sexualized violence when showing her past traumas. Even the memory extraction scene didn’t including graphic beating, gaging, ripped clothes, excessive blood or injuries that ring reminiscent of abuse. I was also grateful that neither acts of or threats of sexual violence were included. They didn't even have sexually suggestive insults/manipulation. They are still giving her a story, and knowledge she can bee hurt and setting up some well paid off emotional reactions without this horrific violence. They did still have cartoon superhero fights and explosions keeping the genre traits we all wanted to see. 

I like the way she is swayed by the stories of refugees and empire. She has always been a bit of a rogue soldier and this lingering distrust of the Kree allows her to change her mind. She becomes an anti-colonialist and protects refugees, which is the best kind of hero to be. Though it is a little funny that they make the US army look chill as they are imperialists themselves. (Also since we genocided the Asgardian refuges I can't assume the Russos won't murder them all)

Part of her hero arc being throwing off not only the indoctrination of the Kree but also the very apparent gaslighting and control of Yon-Rog and the  Supreme Intelligence. She explicitly rejects both of their control, telling them she is not weak for feeling and owes them nothing. Their undermining of her identity, feelings and what she wants to do is shown as an enemy. And I like that it obviously has shaped her but she can’t still bunch those abusive people in the face! 

Where They Could Do Better:

Some things to add could be expanding what we know of her birth family. They are down to yell at and deride her multiple times. we also see her father (or another male relative) physically handling her roughly and shoving her to the ground at a beach. We also are told that her real family are the Rambeau’s. While it does show the theme stretches back to childhood, but some more information I think would be good. It does show she has always been stubborn but some more ways it changed her would be nice.

Other topics that could be dropped in would be some likes and dislikes. Maybe some of what she uncovers could be emotions/reaction to some cultural touchstones. Like maybe references to 80s/90s American cause some thoughts. We get a lot of this characterizations in Marvel movies and it could go a long way.

Also some more direct conversation with her old Kree teammates and Maria Rambeau not tied to just her memory blackouts. The best conversations we got were with Monica we see some other sides to her than warrior/soldier and snark. Her stuff with Fury was fun for sure but some conversations other than banter could help so we could build up a relationship that would connect to why she would give him her communicator and have an emotional tie that would bring her to immediately show up when called and have the long term emotional tie I likely think they are going within Endgame. It also could have added characterization to Fury outside facts, easter eggs and setting up later fils.

However, I love her so much and found the movies overall fun to watch and even had me almost tearing up. I also got a pretty strong immediate headcanons.  (also projection probs)

Nd Headcanon

 C-PTSD w/ Dissociative symptoms:

Affect & Emotional Dysregulation: Often either showing almost no emotion on her face and internalizing her feelings or very visible and explosive expression of emotions.

Disrupted Systems of Meaning: Similar to the identity issues we see multiple ways she creates specific scaffolds she works on as her identity. Being a pilot for the army, the Kree way of life "heroes", and then the idea of the protector of the Skrulls/refuges. And in conjunction, there is a loss of belief around these too.

Dissociation: She is shown to check out and go blank. One I remember is in the Project Pegasus bunker when reading through the papers she misses fury trying to talk to her. Another example I remember is the way her sensory perceptions distort when shown pictures of her past.

Dissociated/Repressed Memories: So this is much more of a theory/headcanon then something that’s not explained by sci-fy stuff.  But the way they describe her memory blanks is super relatable for my dissociation and memory loss. She has some huge blanks which can happen a lot, even whole people she loved. The way these gaps cause feelings of loss and confusion which is so common with people who have dissociative amnesia.

Also that she has flashbacks and nightmares of memories but can’t properly access them. And the way memory recovery can have a painful reaction and while it’s great to be reunited with people but it can’t really be the same it was before. And the deep reaction she had to hear her voice making her have to bolt from the situation,  feels like it can’t be her, even when she knows it has to be.

Flashbacks: Clearly was shown multiple times, not just under Skrull manipulation. They are even triggered by reminders of her past and under stress. They are disruptive to her life and are also shown to be disjointed.

Hypervigilance/Excessive Fight Response: She absolutely is almost constantly in fight/flight/freeze mode. We can see her have a pretty impressive startle response and easily switching to her "fight" mode. She can't shut off her way of handling things or really being casual in case only a few situations.

Identity Confusion/Malleability: She literally has multiple ways she presents herself. Changes wildly on her circumstances and manipulatable. Her parents seem to be trying to tell her to be calm, not fight, not be emotional and she completely tries to prove them all wrong, is super into her pilot identity, then Yon-Rogg is horrible manipulative and forces her to be something else. Know the Skrull also shifts her, making more of a one-man band instead of the loyal soldier even changing the way she was dressing.

Nightmares: These are directly referenced by her and Yon-Rogg. The nightmare is really relatable and pretty accurate for trauma memories. They are of her past/trauma but with confused details and trouble placing them. Even shown to prevent sleep to the point she doesn’t even want to sleep.   

Paranoia/Anxiety: Falls a bit in the adage of "just because your paranoid doesn't mean their not after you" there really were shape-changers, but her immediately switching to grilling people to check for Skrulls (like when the neighbour comes to Maria Rambeau's house) shows a state of paranoia and being on edge. Always doubting thinking everything.

Re-Victimization/Distorted Perceptions of Abusers: The implied abuse of her biological parents visibly including controlling er behaviour, interests, identity and emotions. Also pretty likely including some physical aspects having them shove her to the ground. While in a lot of ways joining the Air Force is highly bulking her upbringing, it's also directly subjecting her to a situation of more people controlling and deriding her. There is also going to be more violence forced on her.

Then with the Kree, she is obviously most close to Yon-Rogg, out of obligation likely but she doesn't reach beyond him to form other bonds and while she does rebuke his statements she does seem to follow them and lets him manipulate her and directly send her to the Supreme Intelligence to mess with her mind. She doesn't seem to realise how manipulative he is being, constantly undermining her emotions and ideas. He also holds his "saving her", giving her al her "power" and "worth". Even seemingly saying she is only alive through his blood. This connection doesn't break till she is shown obvious lies he and the Supreme Intelligence forced on her.

Strong and Explosive Anger/Rage: Anger is one of the emotions she shows most visible. It often is expressed in active violence and can cause involuntary usage of her powers. It's also something used against her by her father, Supreme Intelligence, and Yon-Rogg. The last two are actually really good at using it as a control tactic even liking it to the direct device that reacts to her powers which are strongest in relation to her emotional state.

[kkamist]

tags (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

ok so ive been tagged in different tags by different people ,,, nd have procrastinated on actually doing them ,, so i decided to compile all of them in one post !!

warning: this will be a v long post ,, read only if u wanna ,, know more abt me i guess (why would u lmAO)

fact tag?? i guess

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

was tagged by maria !! @s0ftminho ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: yellow,, peach,, nd black

Top 3 ships: oof idk?? oo nomin probably !!

Lipstick or chapstick: i dont use them :”)

Last song: im listening to gfriend - rough rn!

Last movie: spiderman homecoming hAHHAHA ( i was doing a mini marvel marathon bc my dad had the movies and didnt ! tell ! me ! but i uh stopped there lmao )

Top 3 shows: i dont watch shows often,, but i do rly like knowing brothers, night goblin :”) nd its dangerous outside the blanket! oooo theres also cafe amor that is p cute too !!

Currently reading: ok if manga counts, kimi no todoke nd bnha ,, if not ,, waking gods by sylvain neuvel (but i paused like ,, last yr prob hAHHA)

kpop + music tag!

ok so i was tagged by @01yoonjin to do ,, both of these tags if im not wrong,, and @maetaamong tagged me for the music shuffle tag and @hyuunjins tagged me for the kpop tag thingy aha

music shuffle tag

rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

mad city - nct 127

campfire - svt

us now - vixx

hold me tight - bts

talk me down  - troye sivan

paradise - nct 127

too good - troye sivan

grr 총량의 법칙 - skz

another world - nct 127

blue - troye sivan ft alex hope

kpop tag

rules: answer the questions!

1) 5 favorite groups?

skz

nct

nuest

sf9

w1

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

(lee) chan

(lee) mark

chanhee

jr (jonghyun)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

oof ok i,,, dont know? im not the type to actually Stay ulting a group?? like ill stan then ,,, then,, get into another grp,,, yeah,,,, im not v loyal aa my friends always ask what grps i stan and im liek ,,,,, idk,,,, i stan a Lot,,, (that was a real convo between a new friend i made weeks ago) but i guess,, atm its skz? their music is,, my taste? like the meaning of it nd all,, and uh theyre also v v fun to b with,, there isnt a moment when i dont smile whenever i see one of their vids or during their vlives :”) tbh what i like the most in groups i stan is their humor lmao,,, like if theyre v funny, i automatically love them even more :”))

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

again,,, idk man,, i dont think i even Ult hAHHA ok but i ,, rlly like bae jinyoung nd chani hHAHHA ok but also ,,,, hyunjin. that boy,,,,,  id do anything for him tbh ,,  also bjy wasnt even mentioned in  2 but,,, i rlly love him ,, like idk,, i dont stan w1 as much now but ,, whenever i see him im like :-))))) (same goes for chani aa) fiuwe idk y i like them sm tho aa

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

iiiiii dont have any guawdeij

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

ok what,,, i dont even know my ult hAHAH

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

dont stop - twice (this is in jap tho,, does it count?)

nuest - daybreak

blooming days - exo cbx

you&me - kisum

go - nct dream

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

vivid - loona/heejin

heart attack - loona/chuu

singing in the rain - loona/jinsoul

scentist - vixx

boss - nct u

rollercoaster - chungha

shine - pentagon

blooming days - exo cbx

trigger - vixx

my valentine - vixx

nd a lot more auief

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

oof i dont watch crack often-

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

all of them!! :”)

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

aa atm the sk fandom !! i was q active in the svt fandom in my main blog but i dont make content anymore :-( i do want to b active in other grps (like nct nd sf9 nd mayb nuest) but i dont have enough Commitment to run other blogs at the same time :”)))

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

these arent my top 3 but-

F(riendly convo with) - murk leeeee

M - oof tbh id marry seungcheol or mingYU OmG :-)))))))) hes not my bias but ,, hes such husband material tbh ,,,,,,,,

K - lee chan bc he,, keeps Killing me w those looks even when im tryna stan another grp ughrei

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

chani? or chenle!! for chani ,, we’re q similar nd we both like chicken !!!!!!!!!!!! so yes. for chenle ,, we’re also kinda similar but we def have the same humor ,,, which is always great  :^)))))

14) If you could date any idol, who?

hm,,, tbh these days ive been feeling Soft for mark (lee) nd !! also bjy ,,,, ahHa im sorry hyunjin yshvriIHFED

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

vixx - eau de vixx bc nO ONE i know talks abt it :-((((

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

swoft??? or medium idK HAHAH

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

100% hyunjin,,, Also bjy.

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

o man is also hyunjin aLSO mark lee :-))))))))))

19) Favorite vocalist?

oof hm,, defo seungkwan ,,, seokmin,,, basically svt’s vocal team :-))) oOF reading this again ,, yo haechan???? God tier vocals,,, pls stan nct :-)))

20) Favorite Rapper?

oo ok so i watched high school rapper nd i really like osshun? nd oH bang jaemin :”) aa i need to watch s2 soon jgafiue

in terms of idols, defo 3racha,,, theyre So Good uiahrfiu

21) Favorite dancer?

aAA in terms of girls: cHUNGHA!! for boys its ,, basically all of svt performance team nd,, ten and taeyong- (i like a lot of dancers its hard to choose ifajoiwe)

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

ok i,, dk my ult but ill just do it w the idols i put in in that q - for hyunjin i feel like we ,, both struggle w cooking lmAo nd have troubles waking up early :”) ,, actually now that i think abt it,, were both v quiet nd shy but when u get to know us? were v Loud nd savage (same w bjy nd chani) also again ,, chani likes chicken, i do too so :-)))))))

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

hm,, confidence? it takes a lot for someone to just go on stage and sing/dance etc,, like i would Never b able to do that- (proven today: had a skit and had a shaky voice the whole time , also laughed alot oops)

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

vIVID by heejin nd singing in the rain by jinsoul nD ALL THE OTHER LOONA SONGS-

also rock by skz !!!!! nd nd omg rollercoaster by chungha nd,,, scentist by vixx nd many others hAHAH

25) Your worst wrecker?

in skz its ,,,,,,,, ***** :-)) also nomin have been wrecking me these days ,, rip

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

0 bc my parents wont let me :-(

27) Favorite choreo?

there r too many-

28) Favorite live performance?

also too many- but i do like concert performances where the fans sing along too- like those Hit me in the feels everytime (eg: smile flower - svt!!!) iahfnie (does this even count lmao)

29) Favorite debut mv?

adore u- svt !! (3rd anniv coming up ihHIWU)

30) Recommend a rookie group

skz obv, loona, unb ,, (g)i-dle !!

31) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

there is a Lot but prob vivid - heejin hAHAH I RLLY LIKE THAT SONG AUWIFHIAU

20 question tag!

rules: answer 20 questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better

i was tagged by em !! @realstraykids  (´∀｀)♡

name: hazirah (oo name reveal :^))

nickname(s): haz

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: i am smoller than em ,, barely 5 feet :-)))))))))

languages spoken: ok ,, eng, malay, arabic, uuuh tiiiiiny bit of chinese and im now (kind of) self learning korean :^)

nationality: singaporean

favourite season: ok we dont have fall in sg,, but fall !!

favourite flowers: baby’s breath!

favourite scents: the scent of fried chicken :-)) or fresh laundry ,,, also petrol smell :-) 

favourite color: i answered above but yellow, peach nd black

favourite animal: shiba inus !!

favourite fictional characters: mmmm kacchan nd aizawa nD TODOROKI IFIAEUR HOW COULD I FORGET HIM O Mg frm bnha !! also baz nd simon frm the book carry on, simon by raindow rowell (one of my fav books tbh) ,,,, also tanaka frm tanaka kun is always listless bc hes goals tbh. ALSO oMg USUI TAKUMI FRM KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA OH MY GODUIHF

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ok in cold countries i Always get hot chocolate,, here in sg i always get green tea,, or ice lemon tea sometimes :-)))

average sleeping hours: 5-6

dog or cat person: both but more towards cats tbh

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: the world !! or like japan/england ,, 

blog established: feb 1 2018

followers: a number :-)

random fact: mmmmmmmm i broke my fast w two of my friends last night nd caught up w each other nd im v happy :-)))))

nd thats the end !! (not really,, theres like 2 slefie tags but i have 0 pics oops) but if you read through all this,, congratulations,, you probably know me more than my classmates :-))))