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kamiimiya · 3 months

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TEEHEE 1, 3, 5, and 7 with kokonoi hajime >:D

THANK YOU LOVEBUG I APPRECIATE YOU SOSOSOSO MUCH ♡

ask game here

♡ If you have one, what's your ship name?

kokomiya !! just a silly basic little shipname cuz those are the ones i'm used to in most fandoms and i'm simply not creative enough to think of something unique and funny.

i honestly like the tag misconceptions more than i do the ship name, because i Thought about that for a little while even though its kinda basic so it doesn't even really seem like i did much thinking. but for a long time we didn't like each other, he thought i was wayyy too nice and just going to be used by everyone around me ( deadass projecting but go off koko dearest ) and i couldn't understand why he has such a grudge against me. we understand each other a little bit too well in some regards, despite each of us being on the opposite ends of The Horrors. sometimes he mentions that i would understand inupi more than i understand him, and he just doesn't understand why i'd choose someone like him when it's so obvious that he had the capability to hurt others. he's so blinded by his lack of self worth and inability to truly understand other people's depths that there's just a lot of miscommunication between the two of us for a really long time.

♡ What song would you duet for some chaotic late night karaoke?

umbrella by rihanna. is it because of that one scene with inupi where koko was hiding behind the umbrella and trying his best to act confident even when he was losing it a little bit ? yeah. maybe. who cares. it's also a BITCHING song and you can't look me in the eyes and tell me he doesn't know it by heart. and to be very clear, i'm not saying he's gonna be jay z and i'm rihanna. we alternate lines like how god intended. i will step out of the spotlight this one time and let him have the last little bit with the last few lines because i feel like he needs them a little bit. maybe it would do his psyche some good who knows.

in the tune of rihanna, also s&m is a very good choice. my minds eye can see him swaying his hips and doing a little dance and dammit he's feeling himself. gonna do that silly debby ryan thing where he pushes his hair behind his ears trying to be hot but its kokonoi hajime so it just works idk how to explain it. first verse is his and he'll sing it alone, i'll just sing the background vocals. we alternate the lines of the chorus & sing the post chorus ' come on, come on, come on ' part together at the same time. second verse is mine. if you see him blushing at the mention of whips and chains no for the love of god you do not.

♡ If you were dogs, what breeds would you be?

so he's definitely going to be something like a doodle or a golden doodle. something that looks pretty but actually may not be the best pets. i lived in a house with golden doodles and let me tell you they were wild and rowdy if not trained right and also practically impossible to kennel train at any point in time, and maybe it was just the dogs that the person had but they had the worst separation anxiety i've ever seen in dogs, and that's pretty much just koko. if you look at them from a distance you think that they're pretty and fancy looking and then you spend more than a minute in the same room with them and you realize that they're actually a handful, and i love koko for that.

for myself, i don't really have an in depth answer. i like pomeranians and also i too have a bark wayyy bigger than my entire bodyweight. they're like 3 apples tall and mostly fur, and have one of those super annoying barks that just simply don't shut up ever, and i'd like to think that's me going on and on and on about stuff that no one objectively really cares about. they're also extroverted but can get aggressive with dogs much bigger than their own size. and yeah that honestly just checks out with me i will body check a dog 4x my size because i don't like the way that it didn't look at me.

♡ Describe how your f/o smells, be absurdly specific.

oh boy he's expensive but also depressed. you can tell he's having one of those days where he just can't be half assed with anything because the cologne he wears will be sprayed so much that you can't smell anything else. he chooses savage from dior because it's one of those colognes that covers up everything else with just a little bit sprayed, but he'll still overspray it to the point it almost chokes you with the scent of it. if he's not wearing any cologne ( rare, but not impossible. i just have to catch him at the right time ) he probably smells like a mix between his lotion he wears and his body wash / exfoliant. he shops at bath and body works for lotions because he likes the deals and also has a thing for their candles.

if he's out doing ' business ' i think honestly he sweats wayyy more than he likes to let on especially since most uniforms are a jacket of some kind and they're actively fighting most of the time, so he has to use a pretty strong deodorant to hide it. definitely carries deodorant with him and he's so shameless about it. he definitely hops into the shower the moment he's home though.

sometimes, though, he smells like blood and a housefire, with the smell of smoke so thoroughly coated in his hair and blood underneath his fingernails, and i can't mention it because it's really not the important part going on right now. sometimes i just gotta pull him into the shower and wash his hair for him really well and fix dinner for him without mentioning it. tears or worried words from either one of us may break the fragile thread hanging on and it's just not worth it. i know he's okay, he knows that he's safe. it's,,, important that the nights we're together stay as normal for him as possible, especially on nights like those.

and anyways so i - ( gets shot )

#♡sugarcrash!#♡misconceptions #on this episode of does miya ever shut up #the answer once again for the hundredth time is no #no they do not #and that's okay

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classysassy9791 · 3 years

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Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Romance/Humor/Fluff Pairing: InuKag Rating: T

The conclusion for this little fic that has waited 6 years for completion. Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Thank you to @akitokihojo for being such a stellar beta for this fic, and helping it come to its completion. Couldn't have done it without you!

For @inukag-week Day 6: Transformation.

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l

Part 4 Word Count: 2,000

Can also be found on FFN and AO3

It had been a very long time since Kagome had experienced a hangover.

The buzzing in her brain soon became too much to ignore as it beckoned her to consciousness. She opened her eyes to the dimly lit room. Sunlight peeking from beneath the closed curtains indicated it was daytime and she silently thanked herself for being smart enough to close them before leaving her apartment the evening before.

Kagome wrapped the duvet around herself and tried to grasp a hold on the fleeting darkness of unconsciousness. She knew nothing would cure a hangover except time, and she would rather spend it floating through dreamless sleep than deal with the repercussions head-on. Waves of nausea added to her misery and she could faintly smell whiskey with each exhale - a scent that was intoxicating last night, yet this morning it only caused her stomach to twist further.

Her phone pinged with a message, but she didn't dare even try to reach for it, the annoyingly bright glare of her phone not exactly something she wanted to sabotage herself with. As the minutes passed by, she became more acutely aware of her brain feeling like it would swell beyond the capacity of her skull, and her dehydration became too obvious to ignore. Her tongue felt like cotton as she licked her dry, cracked lips. Damn, why did the morning after always have to remind her of what a bad decision the night before was?

She squinted and finally set her gaze on her nightstand. A surprising wave of relief washed over her. Drunk Kagome must have had an intelligent moment, for on her nightstand stood a bottle of painkillers and a glass of water. As quickly as she dared, she propped herself up on one elbow, trying to ignore the slight spin of the room, before greedily popping two pills and finishing the water. Even so, her thirst was far from quenched.

As Kagome tried to sort through her memories of the night before, she quickly registered that she had no memory of coming home last night. The last, clear recollection she could come up with had her sitting at the bar with Inuyasha and sharing a shot with the bartender.

"Shit," she groaned, hanging her head before precariously pulling her legs from beneath her blanket. Blacking out from drinking had been a favorite past time of hers back in her early college days. It wasn't because she didn't know her own limits when it came to being intoxicated, but back then, she simply didn't care. Drinking had been her favorite vice when it came to dealing with the pressures of school, boyfriends, and girl drama. It had been years since she had felt the need to get obliterated so completely.

Finally finding her courage, Kagome reached over and unlocked her phone. The red battery sign at the top meant it was almost dead, so she quickly scrolled through all the alerts on her phone. There had been way too many messages and missed calls from Hojo, which triggered the memory of the picture she had sent him. Her nausea increased ten-fold. Regret was a spiteful bitch.

Hojo was going to be the afternoon's problem. Maybe even tomorrow's problem. All Kagome knew was that it wasn't going to be a now problem.

Kagome plugged in her phone and once she was on her feet, the room swayed, almost causing her to lose balance. She stumbled out into the hallway to her bathroom to relieve herself. When she finished, she washed her hands and splashed cold water on her face just to feel something refreshing. The person's face who greeted her in the mirror no longer resembled the glamorous girl of the night. Only a woman's face awash with guilt, a wrinkled set of pajamas, and hair that was far from attractive.

From the other end of the apartment, Kagome suddenly heard a key turning in her front door. Immediately, she felt panic rise in her throat, eyes going wide. No one had a key to her apartment, not even Hojo, so unless she had been robbed last night - which she very may well have considering she had very little memory of it - no one should be coming over.

She swallowed thickly against her cotton throat and grabbed the first weapon at her fingertips - a plunger. Yeah, she wasn't winning any awards for being clever, but she was hungover and scared for her life.

Kagome crept down the hallway toward the front door and nearly lost her breath at who she saw standing in her entryway. The man from the bar last night - Inuyasha? - was making his way to her kitchen with a carrier filled with coffee and a bag from her favorite breakfast joint down the block.

"Good morning," he greeted casually, not at all thrown off by her presence as he set down his packages on the counter. "I brought you breakfast."

Rage and astonishment swelled in her chest. "What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!"

He winced and held his hands over his ears before turning to glare at her. "If you could wait until after eight in the morning to start yelling, I'd really appreciate it."

"You didn't answer my question," she seethed, wide eyes sweeping the rest of the apartment for evidence as to what exactly happened last night?!

Inuyasha studied her from across the room and laughed at her dumbfounded expression. "Did you think I was a burglar or something? What's with the plunger?"

Kagome looked down at the plunger she held in his direction like a sword, and felt a blush bloom across her cheeks. She hurriedly hid it behind her back. "W-What was I supposed to think?"

He simply rolled his eyes. "Do you want breakfast or not?"

She bit her lip, but couldn't deny the ravenous hunger eating away at her stomach. Probably half the reason why she was so nauseous. Without saying another word, she slipped back into the bathroom to put away her weapon before meeting him in the kitchen. The sweet aroma of coffee and fresh bagels greeted her. She could've kissed him all over again.

"I didn't know how you liked your coffee, so I got cream and sugar just in case."

Kagome slowly sat down in the chair across from him, watching him slather some cream cheese on his bagel and drink his black coffee. She racked her brain as to exactly why Inuyasha was in her apartment, and then flashes of the night before came rushing back, of sloppy passionate kisses and tangled sheets.

Her heart dropped to her stomach.

Inuyasha studied the array of emotions that flickered across her face while he slowly chewed his bite of bagel and then swallowed. "Kagome, how much do you remember of last night?"

She bit her lip, shameful eyes lifting to his. "Um, well…" Her gaze fell to her person, realizing she was no longer wearing the sequined black dress she had gone out in. All the evidence pointed to a girl she wanted no relation to, making decisions that were very, very regrettable.

"We didn't sleep together."

Kagome's eyes flew to Inuyasha's, his deep voice quelling her fears. "We-We didn't?"

Amber eyes watched her carefully before turning back to his bagel. "No, we didn't. I'm not the kinda guy who beds a girl when she's drunk. Not my style."

A breath Kagome didn't know she had been holding escaped her lips. She had never been the type of girl to have one-night-stands. Her friends always teased her about it, but it was something she prided herself in. Having sex with someone wasn't something she did on a whim. She wanted to know she meant more to someone than an easy lay.

Her brows furrowed as she sipped on her coffee. "If we didn't sleep together, then why are you here?" she questioned. It would've been one thing if she had woken up with a naked man in her bed and kicked him out because of sheer embarrassment. It was another thing entirely that a man she didn't sleep with would bring her breakfast in the morning.

Inuyasha shrugged. "I was too tired to get another ride home last night, so I slept on your couch."

Kagome glanced over the breakfast bar to see a blanket and pillow on her couch as evidence that it had been occupied the night before.

"You know, you probably shouldn't drink so much."

She threw him a glare. "Did I ask for your judgement?"

He shrugged. "I'm just sayin'. Letting a stranger take you home because you're too drunk isn't exactly attractive."

Kagome scoffed. "Oh, thanks for the help," she snipped sarcastically. "What would I've done without you?"

Inuyasha grinned. "Probably throw a party to celebrate my absence."

"Probably, yeah," she hotly agreed. "I would've been just fine on my own."

"Maybe."

She frowned, flashes of last night starting to come back. They had been two heartbroken strangers in a bar who found comfort in their shared misery. Under the neon flashing lights and upbeat techno music, they gravitated toward one another like moths to a flame. But by morning they had transformed; she no longer represented the alluring woman who bewitched him, and he no longer appeared as the mysterious man who captivated her.

Now, she was simply Kagome Higurashi - a woman who was dumped by her fiance and had a mile-long to-do list regarding cleaning up their frayed relationship. And he was simply Inuyasha.

Kagome inwardly cringed. She didn't even know his last name. Or what he did for work. Or anything about him really.

Just fucking great.

"Look, Inuyasha," she began, setting down her coffee. "I appreciate everything you, er, did for me, but-"

"When we're done here, we should go on a real date."

Her mouth fell open. "What?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Why not?"

"You have got to be joking," Kagome said while shaking her head. "One-night stands are literally just for one night, and we definitely would not work out."

He grinned. "Damn. That's a quick deduction there."

Kagome blushed. "I just mean that, last night… it was great and all, but…"

"It's daytime and the whole world's changed?" Inuyasha finished for her.

She sighed and looked away. He was right. Things were different. Last night didn't happen often for her, and bringing home a guy to her apartment never happened. If it were up to her, she'd stuff last night in a box as a precious memory and then forget it ever happened.

"I'm not saying I'm over Kikyou."

Kagome met his gaze. His eyes locked onto her, and held not an ounce of mirth. He was serious about this. He wanted to see if this could become something.

"And I doubt you're over your ex-fiance," he continued. "But, last night was fun. You're different and piss me off to no end-"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

He sighed and after a moment finally stood up. "Look. You seem like a great girl. But I'm not one to beg. Thanks for the couch." Slipping his phone into his back pocket, he turned to leave.

"Inuyasha, wait!" Kagome called as she chased after him.

Dammit. This guy was so infuriating! He insulted her, and called her names, and angered her enough to make her slap him upside the head. But he also made her laugh, and feel alive, and made her want to kiss him again and again.

She couldn't deny that she wanted to see him again.

Grabbing his elbow, she made him stop in his tracks and look over his shoulder at her. "What?"

"This…" she started, fumbling for the right words. "This is never going to work. You and I."

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I'll pick you up at six."

And then he was gone, closing the door behind him.

Within a moment of him leaving, Kagome realized something: Meeting Inuyasha was either going to be the best luck she ever had, or the very worst. At least, on the bright side, he had already witnessed her at her lowest.

How bad could it be?

#inuyasha #kagome #inukag #fanfiction #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag fanfiction #inukag week #sassy stays classy #my fanfiction #double shot of heaven

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oswaldsleftbicep · 2 years

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first, i’d like to say happy birthday! may all your dreams come true <3 i really hate myself for being so late into this amazing fandom but also really happy that you’re still writing about the game, it was so hard to find one who is still active so thank you so much for doing the amazing work ily for that T^T but aside from that, i wanna join your game hehe but i don’t want to describe myself irl so i just describe myself that i imagined when i played the game if that’s okay to you (also sorry for the long ass paragraph, i got carried away) :D

my character has short hair, i would describe it as a short wolf cut style, and her hair color is black. her clothing style is more into masculine but when she wears it, it still looks feminine to her no matter what? i’m sorry i’m really bad at explaining stuff. her usual type of outfit is a baggy t-shirt with shorts. her choice of outfit and her personality are so much different since she’s actually a soft spoken girl. i imagined her having 6 brothers and only 1 sister so of course, she will be more likely to follow her brother's behaviour but more into the soft spoken side. she’s also the youngest and very polite to her siblings since her culture is VERY strict about respecting people who are older than them even if it's only a one year gap. her star sign is gemini (but oh boy she sure doesn’t act like one)

for hobbies, she enjoys baking! cookies, cake and bread? she loves them so much. but she only does them when she’s in the mood, if you’re asking her when she isn’t in her baking mood, sorry she’ll reject you. another thing that she likes to do is go for a jog every evening, she is not a morning person nor a night person. she doesn’t enjoy waking up early and she doesn’t like it when she needs to stay up late (even if it’s only 11PM)

she likes to eat, and the food that she enjoys the most without feeling bored even if she needs to eat them every single day is a chicken, it doesn’t matter if it’s fried or seasoned, she enjoys every one of them. for dislikes, she just hates doing chores. it’s funny for me because i think almost all of the route in the game is the mc being a servant for the boys.

she had never been in a relationship so she’s quite confused with the thoughts of having someone important in her life. i think one of her love languages would definitely be spending time with her loves one, like going on a cute picnic (she doesn’t like loud places like going to a concert or shit because what’s the point of going on a date when all you can hear is people screaming) she would definitely enjoy having a deep conversation with her partner, and talking about the future. she doesn’t enjoy skinship that much, it’s because she’s not used to someone casually cuddling or clinging to her. so for skinship, maybe just holding hands or a quick hug! (also because this bitch got embarrassed so quickly and she got really flustered when it comes to pda or something)

that’s it :o i’m only using what you’ve said on your post. sorry if there’s a mistake. english is not my first language T^T and sorry if it’s long! have a fantastic day <3

i love that you described your oc, it was so fun reading about her!! i'm happy to hear that you're into this fandom and enjoy my writing, it's stuff like that that gives me the motivation to write and keeps my love for the characters going :,) i've always believed that every fandom deserves content and if you can't find the content you're looking for then make it! also i'm still going to be referring to your oc in the second person cuz it's what i'm used to. so without further ado,

i ship you with....

Noel!

❧ your style is kinda similar to his in a way, like you dress masculine but still have that feminine edge whereas he dresses kinda feminine but still has a masculine edge. if you're comfortable with the idea, i feel that the two of you could pull off sharing each other's clothes

❧ he appreciates that you're soft spoken and polite and not loud like ricardo or insensitive like mikael. your respect for those older than you is something he's curious about as he just kinda treats everyone the same regardless of their age or status, so he'll probably inquire about your culture and why respecting elders is as important as it is; his questioning is all out of genuine curiousness tho, he just wants to learn more about you and values that are different from his own

❧ he's lowkey jealous about your big family, especially since it sounds so loving and unlike the families he grew up with. nevertheless he'll let you talk all you want about your siblings, wanting to know all he can about how you grew up. if he's in your own world, please take him to meet your family; he may be shy around them at first but he'd love the idea of being included in such a big, loving family

❧ noel's a sagittarius, and sags are pretty compatible with geminis; both signs are mutable which means there's a lot of flexibility with the two of you so y'all's relationship should get along fine without major quarrels. sag is a fire sign and gemini is an air sign which is great bc an air and fire relationship is heavy in support :)

❧ we already know noel loves food, and i feel like he'd have a pretty big sweet tooth as well, so he loves it when you bake. he's your taste tester for everything you make and he'll eat all of the finished product no matter how you think it comes out. you may have to end up hiding what you make from him if you intend on sharing it with others. he won't openly gorge out on your foods like a glutton, but he will eat all of what's in front of him, and if he happens to like it a lot, he'll sneak more of it later on lol. he won't openly ask you to make things for him, his requests are masked as suggestions like "you should make those cookies again" or "i think mikael would like that pie for his next gala"

❧ he's pretty indifferent about you going for jogs every evening, it's just something you like to do and he supports that. if you want him to join you or if you mention you'll be jogging somewhere away from the castle he'll come with you without hesitation. he's got excellent stamina and can keep up with you no problem, although the way he never seems to break a sweat irks you sometimes lmao

❧ he's a very easy sleeper in that he can fall asleep anytime anywhere no problem and his internal clock wakes him up when he needs to get up, it's amazing and i'm jealous. so he adapts to your sleeping schedule easily, like if falling asleep together is something you like then he'll come to bed with you even if it's earlier than he's used to. he does tend to wake up early no matter what, but if he wakes up before you he'll spend that extra time making sure the end of your sleep is comfortable, and he also takes time to memorize the details of your face and admire how peaceful and sweet you look. if he has something to do in the morning that requires his immediate attention, he'll get up and ready as quickly and quietly as possible so as not to disturb you, and before he leaves he'll write a quick note explaining where he is and he'll carefully brush the hair away from your face, gently caressing your cheek

❧ like i said, mans loves his food, and he'll eat whatever you make for him, so he'll have no complaints whatsoever if you make chicken for a week straight. in fact he thinks it's amazing that you can prepare the meat in so many different ways. he has a hard time picking a favorite, but i think he'd like grilled chicken the best, kinda like how cracker barrel makes their grilled chicken, it's seasoned just enough and it's so juicy and kinda marinated in a little sauce

❧ he's not much of a fan of doing chores either, i mean his room is pretty messy after all, but y'all also realize that it's something that has to be done, so i could see the two of you dividing the chores into little bits throughout the week or even the month so it's less to deal with. you'll assign each other with tasks to do, whether it's changing the sheets or gathering all the trash to be thrown out, whatever it is you decide to do it's just a little system that the two of you created to make doing boring chores more bearable

❧ noel's never had someone to be this close with either, and while this can make things tricky, i think it would be good for the two of you to figure those new feelings out together, like the cute first love trope. since it's all new for him as well, and since he struggles with emotions in general, he won't be as quick to jump into the physical contact part of relationships. he'll focus primarily on learning more about you and navigating how relationships work

❧ he'd probably turn to ricardo for date ideas before promptly deciding that's a horrible idea and turning to ask mikael who is much more lowkey and suggests some pretty good date options. common dates for the two of you would be trying new recipes, taking walks, going into town to browse little shops and eat at cute cafes, and spending an afternoon outside for a picnic and to watch the sunset

❧ noel needs a lot of practice figuring out his feelings and how to voice his thoughts so having someone that likes to have deep conversations is good practice for him; it'll get him to get used to voicing his opinions and thinking more abstractly about the future and what if scenarios. he finds it a bit scary at first but eventually he finds comfort in the fact that he can be vulnerable around you like this, just being in each others' presence and sharing whatever comes to mind

❧ again, physical touch isn't really one of his love languages. like sure, it's nice, but he doesn't crave it, so you don't have to worry about him getting too clingy or getting you all flustered with pda. it'd probably take him super long for him to even hold your hand, and anything he decides to initiate he'll save for when it's only the two of you; he wouldn't try any physical contact around anyone else until much, much later in y'all's relationship

❧ so pretty much i chose noel because i could see the similarities between the two of you and because i feel y'all could really help each other grow and become more open and comfortable, and you would support each other through the whole process. it's just a sweet, chill relationship y'all have <3

#let's play a game!#my. hcs #nightmare harem #shipping games #otome games

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peachpety · 3 years

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me, myself & i - tumblr ed.

I was tagged by my lovely love, @fangqueen. thanks! ilu! 💕

1. why did you choose your url?

peach has been my nickname, day one. my uncle thought i looked like a peach with my complexion and fuzzy bald newborn head. the other is a family name. nothing unique here, y'all.

2. sideblogs?

nope. this is The One.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

four years? hi hello, i'm new-ish.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i'm a basic bitch so, no. no queuing by peach. maybe is should? eh. i'm a reblog and go kind of gal, which is why me engaging in fun tag games is random and often late. so very late. le sigh.

5. why did you start your blog?

i wanted a place to catalogue webcomics and accompanying fanart. before the nsfw cleanse there was some phenomenal art and webcomics here, y'all. and then fandom art drew me into fanfiction. and down the rabbit hole i tumbled.

6. why did you choose your icon?

i love @inkflowergarden's art, always so colorful and positive. art is always a draw for me...i've several artists unrelated to fandom that i follow. she posted this peach and i contacted her immediately, and she graciously allowed me to use it as my icon. i own it as a print! i adore it...and ink's artwork. so vibrant! go check it out, y'all.

7. why did you choose your header?

i love movies, and old movies especially. i also love west texas - marfa, marathon, big bend. my happy big-sky wide-open place. i took this photo several years ago and gosh. i just love everything about it. the artist, john cerney, is also amazing. check out his other Giant Highway Art at his website.

8. post with most notes?

it's my drarry coffee shop AU, Like You A Latte, written for @curlyy-hair-dont-care as part of the wheel of drarry gift exchange. and i'm 100% sure that the only reason why has to do with @hogwartsfirebolt's brilliant insta edits, since my individual posts languish in obscurity.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

the bane of a lurker...maybe 200-ish??

10. how many followers do you have?

437

11. how many people do you follow?

318

12. ever made a shitpost?

nope.

13. how often do you use Tumblr each day?

it's an interesting question. more than i should.

14. did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

nope.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

look, i'm old enough to have strength in character that imma do my own thing in my own little corner, off the mainstream. and i love that folks are passionate about issues, and that they share that passion. but i'm here to have fun. so my answer extends from above. i'm not here to pick fights, or shitpost, or follow the crowd. i live by the golden rule. peace, love and happiness, y'all. and cats.

16. do you like tag games?

i do! i often forget about being tagged (see my queue status above) and then i'm late to post. but i love reading about folks, projects, playlists, all of it.

17. do you like ask games?

yup. see above.

18. which of your tumblr friends/mutuals do you think is famous?

oh gosh. look. i'm the worst about knowing these things. and often i'm chatting with folks and then later i'm like. holy shitka. that person is "fandom famous"...and then i die a tiny death at my ignorance. so.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

LOTS 💕

tagging @wheezykat @vukovich @curlyy-hair-dont-care @hogwartsfirebolt @thusspoketrish @gryffindorhearts @bubble-gumhead i'd love a tag if you post and as always, disregard if you've already answered!

#me myself and i #ask game

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finding-fallen-stars · 3 years

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YGO Questionnaire Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

So, my gf/bf @howaboutalittlehelpneos tagged me to do this again a... good long while ago, and I had wanted to wait until I'd finished my GX rewatch before trying this again. But ouch oof I accidentally also got through all of 5Ds again before getting to this lol

But the 5Ds rewatch definitely reshaped a lot of my thoughts, so... cracks knuckles. This won't be spoiler free, fair warning~

Favorite Series: ugh the formatting killed my original essay on this but okay GX and 5Ds are pretty tied in my book, now-- I love them equally, but in different ways! GX fulfills my love for subversive coming-of-age stories with a heartwarming, humorous, and also soulcrushing touch, and I love how each season brings a new story and new characters-- it's like reading installments of a novel series, and I think the formatting works wonders for it as a whole. It has some absolutely phenomenal character writing, too-- even the characters I dislike are ones I can appreciate for what they introduce to the story! And honestly, not enough people give the first two seasons of GX the credit it deserves: they're half the charm, really. How are you going to feel the full impact of the heartbreaking content in seasons 3 and 4 if you aren't properly attached to the characters?

But on 5Ds's side of things... it fulfills my love for stories with time loops, found family, human nature, and of course, love and death and how they intertwine. I love how the leading characters are just a bunch of broken kids from broken circumstances who all find a home with each other, and of course, how it highlights class disparity and how fucked up the prison/"justice" systems are. Yea, sure, maybe it underwent executive meddling and all, but I genuinely love it for what it is and I wish more people appreciated it... my only problem with 5Ds is the untwist with Z-ONE and then the ending s m h I adore it overall and I could go off for a long while on it. Overall, these are my two instinctive recommendations for anyone getting into Yugioh!

(look at these boys they're so important) Favorite Protagonist: Oh, believe me, absolutely nothing has changed here-- Yusei Fudo is and always will be my favorite protagonist, and my rewatch only solidified that.

I just... love him so much? He's seen so much hell in his life and carries so much guilt on his shoulders, but he still has room in his heart to believe in others and to believe that anyone can defy fate and find hope even at rock bottom. I love that he's initially introduced as this quiet, brooding figure when he really just turns out to be a huge softie who wears his heart on his sleeve half the time and wants to bring about change for Satellite and its people. Plus I just really love that his greatest flaw is something that would ordinarily be a positive trait-- he's Overly self-sacrificial, to the point where he's basically setting himself on fire to keep others warm, and that's not really framed as something Heroic

Just... he makes me so happy. I have two Yusei charms that I ordinarily keep on my keys (one was a gift from Zenzen) and they're a constant source of serotonin for me. He's Peak comfort character for me. Best protag in my book Favorite Rival: Same deal here-- still Manjoume!

look at him he's so important

While he spends a lot of the anime getting the good old damsel in distress treatment (getting suckered into a cult, getting knocked into a coma, becoming a zombie, getting fucking Killed, etc), I still think his character arc is really well-written overall and I only appreciated it even more when I watched GX again. I love the fact that he's got a soft heart he buries beneath the edgy facade, and that he's simultaneously really sharp and also kind of dense lol. He's just a fun character and watching how he evolves from episode one to episode one hundred eighty is such a satisfying journey.

Plus, props to him for being such a versatile duelist-- 50 wins in a row is HARD as is, let alone with a deck full of cards he just found laying around in the Arctic. Three ace monsters, three different archetypes... he's a really good duelist and I'm proud of him for it

Oh, but honestly, I don't really dislike any of the rivals-- I'm neutral towards Revolver and Reiji, but the remaining four (Kaiba, Manjoume, Jack, and Shark) compel me. yes I accidentally wound up liking Jack Atlas shhh Favorite BFF: Honestly, I really like most of the characters who fit this archetype-- Joey, Crow, Gongenzaka, Soulburner... I still lean a little bit more towards Joey, but I really appreciate all four of them. I'm gonna say Joey again, just because I find his evolution as a character the most compelling, but I appreciate the other three a lot. Soulburner has the best design though Favorite GFF: Oh absolutely still Aki, but I honestly... really love most female Yugioh characters? I'm assuming this is lead girls only, but like. I'm dumb and gay and I love Girls so this is naturally the most difficult one for me to answer lol

Aki just resonates with me the most because she's the prime example of how trauma doesn't always manifest in palatable ways-- when we first meet her, she's angry and lashes out at anyone and anything just because she wants the world to suffer in the same ways she's suffered, and then... we get to watch her grow from that, once she's free from Divine and able to heal the way she needs to heal. I know the second half of 5Ds didn't give her character the attention it deserved, but I'm still proud of her for winding up on the path she did-- seeing her channel her power and energy into wanting to heal and help others was just so good and was one of the few things I really Loved about the 5Ds ending.

oh, but like. Asuka Tenjoin and Aoi Zaizen are very close seconds for me!!! Aki just has a vice grip on my heart Favorite Villain: Okay, it's still technically Vector-- I think he's the most entertaining, well-written, and effective villain out of all of the ones we've seen so far, but... I also want to add Takuma Saiou and then all of Yliaster as honorable mentions?

As someone fond of tarot myself, I was naturally pretty intrigued by Saiou the first time I watched GX, but my attachment to him only grew the second time around where I actually got the chance to understand his character better. Plus, like... the visuals with him are fucking astounding and he's always so interesting to watch.

As for Yliaster, I just... really love how the big bad of 5Ds turned out to just essentially be a broken man desperate to save anyone and anything and three robotic reconstructions of the friends he'd lost. I still think the untwist with Z-ONE was stupid and I much prefer the idea of him and Yusei being the same person, but I'm still compelled by the other three-- well. Paradox less so, because we don't get a lot of Paradox lore, but. Aporia and Antinomy for sure.

ugh Yugioh has some damn good villains

Favorite Card: now that I actually play the TCG game...

Stardust is always going to be my favorite of all cards because it checks every box for me (my favorite YGO character's ace monster, space theme, what more could I want), but Aromaseraphy Rosemary has really become one of my aces in my best TCG deck! I'm still mastering irl plays, but I'm happy with my progress and I love my plant gang...

Favorite Episode: alright, here's where there's actually been a Lot of change, so...

Season 0: Episode 16: "Turnabout by a Hair's Breadth - The White-Robed Crisis" -- The more I think about this one, the more I love it; there's a... lot of corruption in the medical industry, and I've seen a lot of it firsthand, so just. Seeing a corrupt doctor get what he deserved at the end was cathartic, in a way? Plus, a Jounouchi-centric episode is always a good time.

Duel Monsters: Episodes 96-97: "Darkness vs. Darkness/One Turn Kill" -- this hasn't changed, I still love seeing Marik and Bakura bitch at each other for two whole episodes LMAO

GX: Episode 152: "Activate Super-Fusion! Rainbow Neos" -- This one hasn't changed and it likely never will-- I take so much pride in seeing Judai push forward, past the fear and guilt he's carrying, all to save Johan... it's cathartic and I never get sick of watching it.

5Ds: sweats. still all of Crash Town, but also episodes 137-147-- the Ark Cradle is one of my favorite parts of 5Ds and one of my favorite YGO arcs period, and even though each duel is a fucking gut punch, I love the emotional intensity and weight in each episode... It hurts but in a mostly good way

Zexal: Episode 143: "The Aloof Duelist 'Nasch': The Destined Final Duel" -- this one hasn't changed! Still hurts, still love it, I still weep over Ryouga Shark Kamishiro on a daily basis

Arc-V: Episodes 81-82: "Our Respective Battlefields/The Ultimate Falcon VS The Black-Feathered Thunder" -- Okay, honestly, this was hard because I... genuinely. really don't like Arc-V very much at all lol (it's just not my cup of tea, but more power to those who do like it!), but I thought this duel was a lot of fun! Shun is my absolute favorite from Arc-V and I really like the friendship he struck up with Crow a lot, so here we are

VRAINS (so far): Episode 25-26: "Virus Deck Operation/Three Draws Leading to Hope" -- honestly I am so biased because I just really love Blue Angel and I loved seeing her get a well-deserved victory like this lol. I'm not done with VRAINS, so this is probably gonna change, but anytime Blue Angel or Soulburner are on screen, I'm happy

Favorite Decks to Use: Aromages will always have my heart, but I adore Cyber Angels too! I'm building my Trickstar deck, my Synchron/Stardust deck (just waiting on Dawn of Majesty...), and my Magician Girls deck, too! Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum, or Link?: Synchros my beloved... but also Ritual Years in fandom: I've been here for just a little over one year now! and I wuv it... I'm never looking back Who am I tagging: no one I'm too shy

#yugioh #ygo tag meme

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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 4 years

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I'm hating social distancing because I'm not allowed to hug my homies 😭 So to remedy that, you think you could do a little Prison Fic where Jask and Reader both end up in jail for some reason and end up meeting and talking through a hole in the wall to keep from going insane and they can kinda barely touch hands but they use that to keep their spirits up? And the reader cherishes that tiny crack so much she sleeps with her hand through it to always be ready for the next physical contact 🥰😭

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 1,184Rating: GTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle a/n: Oh pumpkin, I’m sorry. Social distancing is a bitch. Just remember you’re keeping the homies safe. Hope you enjoy!

“So, what’re you in for?”

You jumped at the sound, accidentally thwacking your head against the stone wall as you did.

“Are you alright? That sounded painful,” the voice asked. You rose, looking around the small cell and rubbing the back of your head as you tried to find the source of the voice. Surely you weren’t going mad just yet. You’d only been in the cell for a couple of days.

“Where are you?” you asked.

“I’m your neighbor,” the voice said, “There’s a little hold in the wall over here.”

You followed his voice and saw it was true. There was a crack in the wall, seemingly caused by someone punching it very hard as it fractured and cracked away just enough space that if she peered carefully she could see the most striking pair of pale, blue eyes.

“Jaskier de Lettenhove,” he said by way of introduction, sliding his fingers as far through the crack as they could go. You met them with your own, just brushing your fingertips in the center of the wall.

“Y/N,” you said, removing your hand reluctantly to see his eyes again as you spoke.

“So,” Jaskier said, “What are you in for?”

“I may have sassed the sheriff just a bit more than his liking,” you said, glazing over the part where you broke a bottle over his head. “You?”

“Oh attempted murder.”

“What?”

“Well, it’s a trumped up charge really. Very unfair. You slip a little bit of belladonna into someone’s ale and suddenly you’re a monster,” Jaskier made a dismissive sound and you wondered momentarily if he was a bit insane.

“What did they do to deserve it?” you asked.

“They threw a rock at my friend.”

“Oh no, how terrible!”

“Exactly! And Roach is so sweet, really, once you get to know her.”

“Your friend’s name is Roach?”

“Well she’s a horse.”

You laughed, the first time you had since being shoved into this hell hole.

“You have a nice laugh,” Jaskier said.

“You have nice eyes,” you complimented back.

“You should see the rest of me,” he teased, a little glint in his eyes.

“Tell you what, if we ever get out of here you can show me everything,” you promised with a laugh.

Jaskier swallowed the first response was going to make, something bawdy about what you’d want to see or what he could see in return, and instead focused on the “if” in your statement. He picked up on the slight tremble in your voice as you said it and he slipped his fingers back through the space in the wall and you did the same immediately, eager for his touch, however slight.

“We’re going to get out of here, Y/N, I swear it. I have a friend who will set this right. Mark my words we’ll be out in a day’s time.”

Two weeks passed before Jaskier stopped making this promise and focused instead on making your time in there as nice as possible for the both of you. He sang you songs and you told him jokes you’d learned at the tavern. You asked each other questions as simple as your favorite color and as vast as if you believed there was life after death. You worked at the little crack in the wall, trying to make it bigger so you could see more of each other, feel more of each other, but it remained stubborn and you learned to settle for the featherlight brush of his fingers against yours. You grew to depend on it, falling asleep with your hand in the space and waking up to the sound of his voice.

“Jaskier,” you said one day, you didn’t know how long it had been because you’d stopped counting, “Are you scared?”

“Yes,” he admitted readily, not needing to ask what you meant, “I am. But not as much as I would have been alone. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N, truly. And I know it hasn’t gone as we’d expected but please know that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to keep you safe.”

His words brought tears to your eyes and you kissed the tips of your fingers before moving them to meet his. Your first kiss and, you feared, your only.

That night you woke to yelling and crashing and you were certain this was it. They were coming to take either you or Jaskier and you prayed it would be you. Still your heart leapt in your throat as the large wooden door that had remained closed save for the moments they slid food into you was thrown open. It took a moment for your eyes to adjust to the brilliant light of the torch someone held beside them.

“Y/N?” a familiar voice asked. You looked over the man in front of you. Tall with broad shoulders, wearing a dirtied set of clothing that was still lovelier than anything you’d ever worn. The chestnut brown hair that looked foreign to you except for the shock that fell right above those beautiful, tenderly gazing eyes.

“Jaskier?” you said, standing up to walk over to him.

“I told you, Y/N,” he said excitedly, extending a hand, “I told you I’d keep you safe.”

Your heart leapt to your throat as you reached your hand out to his. After weeks of the barest brush of fingertips it felt sinful and deeply intimate as you slid your whole hand into his. You clasped hands, intertwining fingers and looking into each other’s eyes, taking in the details of each other’s faces.

“We need to go,” a voice in the dark said. You hadn’t noticed anyone else there but Jaskier nodded and pulled you along with him, running down the corridors.

“Why did you do it?” you asked as you ran, unable to keep the question inside any longer. Determined to learn how he felt before you gave him anymore of your heart, as though his name and voice and hands weren’t already written on every inch.

“You made me a promise,” he said simply.

“What?”

He turned to look at you as Geralt stole a horse for the two of you to ride.

“If we ever get out of here you can show me everything,” he echoed, the words vaguely familiar to you as he said them. “Now, I very much hoped that meant, well, everything,” he said with a little wink.

“But I also want to show you much more than that. I want to show you the world now that we’re out of that damn hole. We’ve spent too much of our lives confined in a tiny space and I don’t intend to take a single moment of freedom for granted. And I want you by my side, if you’ll come.”

His blue eyes looked into yours, a softly pleading look in them, and you laughed, unable to contain the joy you felt as you squeezed his hand tight and pulled him in for a long-awaited kiss. By the time the surviving guards awoke the three of you were long gone, already riding towards your first adventure.

#Anonymous #jaskier x reader #jaskier imagines #fluff #reader request

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hollanderheart · 7 years

Note

Ship me plz! Riverdale, 13 Reasons, Vampire Diaries, Spn? it can be either male or female. I'm short, chubby & awkward but I let loose once I get to know you. I'm bi, 18 & want to travel! I love reading, writing, rain, music, porn lol, lingerie & my fandoms. I'm protective of my friends & I'll cut a bitch for them if need be. I have medium/long dirty blond hair, green hazel eyes & I'm usually smiling. My fave colors are purple & blue but my closet is full of black, grey, blue & plaid. Thank you!

Hi Katie!

For Riverdale I ship you with…

Veronica Lodge

I ship you with Veronica because you’re both very protective of your friends and she probably shares your love of lingerie.

What she loves/likes about you:

She loves your appreciation of lingerie and porn. Sometimes you two watch together ;)

She thinks your awkwardness is adorable:)

She thinks your hair and eyes are beautiful.

For 13 Reasons Why, I ship you with…

Clay Jensen the

I ship you with Clay because you are both awkward. I think Clay would share your love of travel.

What he loves/likes about you:

He would love playing with your hair.

He would share your love of music.

He thinks your smile is beautiful.

For The Vampire Diaries, I ship you with…

Klaus Mikaelson and Rebekah Mikaelson (not polyamory, I just can’t choose)

I ship you with Klaus and Rebekah because as you are protective of your friends, they’re protective of their family (no matter how many times Klaus puts them in boxes). He/she would also take you anywhere you wanted to go.

What he/she loves/likes about you:

Klaus would share your love of the arts, he loves painting, as you love music, reading, and writing.

Rebekah would loveeeeeee seeing you in lingerie (I mean, Klaus would too) and would buy you many sets so he/she could see you in them.

He/she love reminding you how he/she loves that you’re “chubby”. He/she thinks you’re beautiful no matter what.

He/she love traveling, like you do, and he/she would take you anywhere you could ever imagine and more.

He/she remind you to no end on how much they love you.

For Supernatural, I ship you with…

Dean Winchester

I ship you with Dean because, let’s face it, you both love porn. You both love music.

What he loves/likes about you:

He thinks you’re hot in lingerie and he loves when you wear his plaid flannels.

He also thinks it’s ironic that you both wear so much plaid, calling it “meant to be.”

He’s very protective of his loved ones as you are protective of your friends. You are both very protective of each other.

He thinks you’re very sexy no matter if you’re “chubby” or not.

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traumaticexperiences · 7 years

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anonymous: i think it's abuse, but i'm not quite sure.

so, years ago, middle school-early high school, my mom got more physical. Used to grab me by the arms or shoulders, if she grabbed by arms + dug her nails in i would too. one time she slammed me against a wall and started hitting/punching? me (cant remember entirely). didnt leave marks like bruises or anything, just red fr little while. eventually she got less and less physical, and then hasn’t hit me in… idk, awhile. at least a year probably. But was this physical abuse?

aside from that, ever since i can remember, she has a horrible temper. Calls us all names. When I was younger, elementary school-ish, I remember calling my cousin a bastard. I didn’t know it was a bad word because my mom called me + my brothers that sometimes. I figured it wasn’t as bad as “bitch” because she said it less, or something. She has called me names like that, and worse things like “cunt” countless times. Same w my brothers. But a lot of times we get into a screaming match and I say mean things too. but I think that’s a newer development. Eventually I got fed up of taking it and started yelling back instead of crying and just letting her make me feel like shit. I remember a time in elementary school she told me to go drown in the shower. I remember because I was in some fandom chat room thing and I was sad, and I told them what she’d said and they (mostly older kids, teenagers) were all horrified and comforted me and stuff.

Also I’m a lesbian, and this was a five-ish year long ordeal that began with her first stealing my phone in 8th grade-ish and reading my text to a friend saying I thought I was bisexual. It was turned into me “hurting her” because she couldn’t handle it being in “her family”. She wanted me to just try being with a boy. I never have and never will. After getting a girlfriend in senior year of highschool, and after she talked to some close friends of hers, she became more accepting. But before then, and even after that point sometimes, she’d still call me a dyke when she was mad, usually over my appearance.

Which always has been and apparently always will be a huge thing for her, too. I don’t like makeup much. I’m pretty feminine but I don’t really do my hair or makeup ever. I just brush my hair, that’s about it. This always upsets my mom. My grandpa who recently died was in the hospital a year or two ago, and she yelled and screamed at me before we went to visit him the first time because after she asked me, I told her I wasn’t intending to put on makeup. She was telling me she never wanted to be seen in public with me if I didn’t have makeup on, telling me I “look like a piece of shit without it,” etc. In high school she’d often have to pick me up because of doctor’s appointments (I have many physical disabilities/ am chronically ill / have mental illnesses) and so often she wouldn’t even say “hi,” or “how are you,” but rather her first thing would be “Wow, all these other girls come out of school looking so wonderful, I want to cry when I see that disheveled mess is my daughter.” I remember so many times doing my best not to cry in the car, looking out the window at the clouds or the sun thinking it would help me not to cry because that was letting her win or whatever, or at least I thought so. I would just say “I don’t care” over and over again because arguing with her obviously did no good and just made her yell more. But even though I really have no desire to do my hair and makeup every day and look super pretty, her comments did get to me. I’m a freshman in college right now and sometimes I’ll apologize to my best friend / roommate for looking like shit and she’ll have to really convince me that I don’t. My mom’s disparaging comments really stick with me even now. I’ll walk out the door and feel super self conscious and have my mom’s words echoing in my head but still not actually do anything about it (do my hair, or makeup, that kind of thing).

But I’m not perfect. I forget things a lot. Like if she tells me to do something I might just forget to do it. Or if she wants me to clean and I just can’t find the motivation to do it. Or if I do it but I don’t do it well enough. It gets into this awful cycle where I don’t do something and she gets mad, and then I get depressed so I just lay on my bed and do nothing, therefore making her more mad, etc etc. It’s hard because she has chronic pain too from a surgery that went wrong like 16 years ago that messed up her leg.

And when she’s nice to me, I really do love her. She’ll help me calm down from panic attacks and she brings me to doctors and gets me the medicines that I need. I was in the hospital a month or so ago and she drove down to my college (4 hours away) at midnight just to be there with me since I had to stay overnight.

It’s like, I know she loves me. And the first few weeks of winter break back in December were good. But if I stay home long enough she goes back into how things were before I left for college. Eventually the honeymoon sort of phase wears away, and she’s back to treating me like shit, and I’m back to wanting to go away to college again. Right before I went back to college I remember she said something about how I do nothing for her no matter how she talks to me, “whether she’s nasty or sweet as pie to me”, and I responded in frustration that she was always nasty to me. And at that moment I was doing dishes as she told me to do, and she came up next to me and started slamming dishes down and told me to get out of her sight, to not do the dishes and to do them later when she was gone so she didn’t have to see me. But at that time, she was trying to get off of cymbalta, which apparently has horrible withdrawal symptoms. So I guess it made her temper even worse. When she was slamming stuff I flinched, I really thought she was going to hit me (she hadn’t in a while). But she didn’t. But I still flinch at sudden movements in daily life–yesterday in the dorm bathroom as I walked out, someone walked in, and I flinched really violently just because I hadn’t seen them coming (pretty embarrassing lol).

Also not sure how common this is, but when other people around me get into arguments I get really anxious? My best friend’s family treats me like their own, and her cousin+cousin’s husband took us out for dinner, and on the way home they got into a disagreement and I got unbearably anxious, I actually had to do deep breathing exercises to try and keep myself calm. I get kinda anxious just thinking about it. The people involved have never yelled, they’re always super nice to me and each other–it was a perfectly civil disagreement that they were in, just very passive-aggressive tbh. But it never escalated. They just kinda bickered and then we got to our destination and they solved the problem, and that was that.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. That first thing I mentioned, about her shoving me against the wall, happened like 5 years ago. I thought I was over it until I tried explaining it to my best friend and ended up a sobbing mess in the process–I couldn’t even talk. I angrily mentioned it to my mom at some point more recently and she laughed at me, saying she “barely touched me” and making fun of me in front of my brother, who joined in saying how ridiculous I was being and laughing at me. That experience has made me really question everything, to be honest. My mom has a lot of shit to deal with, and I’m not the best daughter in the world, far from it. I get good grades but that’s about all I’m good at, all I can be counted on for. Or at least that’s how it seems to me. I can’t tell if how she treats me is normal, and I’m overreacting, or if it’s abusive, or if she’s just angry at me and I deserve it. Any advice on that front? I’m sorry this got so long.

It would be nice if this is anonymous. But could you tag it as “mint” so I can find it if you make it anonymous? Thank you. And thank you for running this blog.

////

yes, what you're describing is abuse! grabbing you, and punching strikes as a really hateful and cruel physical abuse, only a person who really wanted to hurt you would do such a thing. Being called names also comes from a hateful place, and it can hurt so much when it comes from a parent, because they're not supposed to hate you, they're supposed to care, calling you names shows that they didn't care at all, they saw you as something that is there for them to hurt. Presenting your sexual orientation as something hurtful to them is so cruel and vicious, they wanted you to feel horrible about who you are! As if something is wrong with that! I'm really glad you never want to be with a boy. Calling you names for merely being who you are is really hurtful, again, something she does only to harm you. Hatred over your appearance is also something really abusive and crushing, it can affect you really deeply that people can hate you merely because they don't approve of the way you look, and that's terrifying, even more when it comes from a family member. She made you feel like she'd rather have someone else for a daughter, merely because of your looks, that is just too cruel. It doesn't matter if you're perfect or not, you haven't deserved this kind of abuse, someone who cares about you would never do any of those things, because they shouldn't think that you deserve to be hurt. Helping you calm down and bringing you medicine are such basic things, it's really not much, even if it means much to you because you don't really get much affection so even the smallest gesture can feel like love. You deserve more than that. Your mom is abusive and a few basic things she does can't change that. I don't believe a person who hurts you that badly can truly love you and care about your well being. You can't just love a child when you feel like it, and then hate it when you feel like hating it. That's sick. It seems you recognized the cycle of abuse and you know what's going on. I'm glad you're so bright and know a lot of things are wrong. You are scared of her. You're anxious in arguments. She's obviously capable of hurting you a lot, and you know it's not safe for you around her. It's really painful to live around a person like that, and you shouldn't be subjected to that.Probably the most scary thing is how she pretends nothing happens, minimizes the pain she caused to you and tries to excuse her actions and gaslight what you know happened. That kind of psychological abuse can drive a person crazy, and you shouldn't be put thru that, just for the sake of her getting away with it.

#mint

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sinfulseb · 8 years

Text

I'm Fine.

A/N: Something that I came up with at 2am! Yes, I know… my mind is a very dark and scary place. Enjoy xx

SUMMARY: Dean’s been acting a bit odd lately, and Sam can’t help but to notice.

WORD COUNT: 1,725

WARNINGS: 14+(mild cursing), cutting, depression, suicidal thoughts, angst, just an overall really sad story, so if you think you might get triggered, please don’t read! I want you guys to stay safe :) oh and dean is gonna be a bit OOC. Pshh who am I kidding, he’s gonna be very OOC.

CHARACTERS: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester

ALSO THIS IS UNEDITED SO BEWARE

Dean walked in, inhaling the strong scent of alcohol in the dim bar. Sam was trailing along, needing a couple drinks. Having just finished a hunt they decided to take a break for a bit before they were on the road again.

Sam watched him go over to the bartender, Dean giving her a flirty smile and a wink. He rolled his eyes at his older brother and sat down near him. It was typical for him, but something just seemed off. He was too…happy. He kept smiling and joking around more than usual. It was like he was trying too hard. Sam was going to keep an eye on his brother, and make sure he was okay.

Dean was always there for him, and now it was Sam’s turn.

The bartender smiled sweetly at Sam after taking Dean’s order. “Hey sugar. What would you like?” She had a slight southern twang to her voice, meaning she wasn’t from around here. She probably came to this town to get away, be more independent, and got a job here. Sam usually noticed these things about people, it was just a regular habit now. He decided to go with a beer and the bartender was happy to comply, giving sultry looks at Dean every now and then.

“Dean,” Sam started, tapping him on the shoulder, “Are you alright?”

Dean’s brows furrowed and a flash of pain showed on his face before he masked it with a smile and looked at Sam. “Yeah, Sammy, I’m fine. Why’re you asking?”

“No reason, I just-” Sam was cut off by the bartender placing their drinks on the counter.

“There you go, boys. Hope you enjoy,” she said, winking and walking away. Sam wasn’t oblivious to the slip of paper she handed Dean. Sam watched his reaction, and was confused when Dean just secretly threw it to the floor. Normally he’d go for any chance to get laid, what was so different now?

Dean just stood up and strolled away to the bathroom, still looking as confident as ever, leaving Sam there in a state of total confusion.

***** As Dean entered the bathroom, everything came crashing down on him. He wanted to hide. To crawl away into nothing and just disappear. To not feel anything. He looked at himself in the mirror, something unrecognizable staring back. Those eyes, they had seen things, witnessed things, that nobody could imagine.

He observed his hands, and he could practically see the blood dripping down his arms, could almost smell the rusty and metallic stench that made his stomach quake and his legs quiver.

He had tortured those people. He wasn’t strong enough, he couldn’t do it anymore. So he gave up. And the worst part was, the sick, twisted, mind of his enjoyed it. There wasn’t anyone to place the blame on this time.

There was the excruciating pain in his heart every time he thought of what he did to those souls. The pain was worse, it was no match to the euphoria he felt while doing it. Every time he picked up another tool, he felt in control, as if for one is his damn life, he got to make the choices.

He realized now, the true severity of what he’d done. It was so disgusting. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to get rid of himself, a pathetic excuse for a human. He didn’t deserve to live. What had he done to deserve to be breathing, moving, feeling, smelling, touching? Nothing. And that was all he was. He was another soldier the world needed for a while, and then he was lost, forgotten, and never needed again.

He used pain as an excuse, but he deserved the pain. He deserved all of it. The aftertaste of what he did in Hell was like a dull knife being stabbed into his gut, over and over. And his demons were the ones that took the knife, and twisted it, and he beared the agonizing pain like the soldier he was taught to be, but nothing could stop him from feeling it.

But now all he wanted was to get rid of all the pain, feel in control again. He shouldn’t be doing it here, but it was just too much. It was too hard to stop, he was addicted to it.

Addicted to the feeling of the blood rushing out of the cuts, staining his clothes. Addicted to the rush he got when he knew he was getting the punishment he deserved. Addicted to the sticky, bitter substance that would just wash away, and no one would know. He took out his switch blade, and slowly rolled up his sleeves.

He took a shallow breath and could hear them, yelling at him, sneering, shouting things that made his head spin.

“Just kill yourself, it’s not like anyone will care!”

“What are you waiting for? Bleed, feel the pain, feel that pain you caused us!”

“Are you afraid? Too scared to die, knowing you’ll go back to hell?”

“You’re a monster! Look at what you did to those souls.”

“You don’t deserve what you have!”

“Kill yourself already, what are you waiting for?”

The voices jumbled together until all he heard was screams screams of pain. He remembered those screams. They were the ones that haunted him every night since he got out of hell.

He wished he could forget, but it wasn’t possible. There was no forgetting what he’d witnessed. What he’d done. But none of the pain they had inflicted on him could rival the damage he did to himself. All of the scars up and down his arms, not from Hell, as he was healed when Cas pulled him out. No, these scars came from his own blade, from his hands. And he wished to God he could stop, but he couldn’t.

He held back tears as the blade pierced through his skin, and there was a little sting, and his heart sped faster, because he knew this was wrong, but it was a way of relieving all the things he couldn’t say out loud. All normal thoughts flew out the window, and all Dean could think about was the line of crimson liquid trailing down his arm, like a path you find in the woods and want to follow to see where it leads. He felt it again, the feeling of release, it was so satisfying.

That’s why Dean cut. He cut to stop the clamor, to end the agony, to bring himself back to the present and his physical form, to show proof that he was still human.

And then reality kicked in, reminding him of where he was. He rushed to clean up the mess he’d made, a mess that was nowhere as near as the chaos called his life. He rolled his sleeves up and took the tissues he’s used to wipe the blood. He threw them down the toilet and flushed it, watching the water turn pink and the tissues swirl into oblivion, while wishing it was that easy.

Like every other time he did it, the relief he felt a few minutes ago was gone. In place of it was embarrassment, and wishing he could take back what he just did. He made it worse, because he promised himself he would stop, just like the time before this and the one before that, but as always he let himself down.

Dean managed to hide the evidence of his weakness through layers, and excuses. If anyone asks, he always replies with a lie. He remembered what Sam asked him earlier, if he was okay. It was always the same damn question. And each time, like the pathetic coward Dean was, he replied with the same lie. I’m okay. He wanted someone to talk to him about it. He wanted to yell, to shout, but all he could do was whisper he was okay and move on. People seemed to accept that answer, and went on with their lives.

The creaking of the bathroom door was what snapped Dean out of it, and he spun around, coming face-to-face with Sam. He let out a small breath and plastered on a false smile, hoping that would cover for what he had done. Yet Sam managed to see right through his facade.

“Dean,” Sam began to ask, “What’s took you so long?”

Dean lied again. “Nothing Sammy, I was just thinking. I’m fine, really,” he said running a hand through his hair.

Sam gave him a suspicious glance and looked like he wanted to say something, but he wisely kept it to himself.

Dean laughed and grabbed his shoulder, about to lead him out, before Sam stopped him.

“Wait, Dean. Is that…blood?” Sam demanded.

“N-no, why would you think that?” Dean stuttered and shook his head.

“Well, maybe because there’s a stain of blood on your shirt!” he snapped.

Dean thought of another lie before responding. “It’s from the hunt, that’s all.”

Sam stared at him. “Dean…it was a salt and burn, and we didn’t come in contact with the ghost at all, how could it be from the hunt?”

Son of a bitch, he thought. Why did his brother have to be so damn smart?

“Dean, no more lies,” Sam said, tired of his excuses. “Where the hell is it from.”

Dean couldn’t do it anymore, so he broke. He told Sam all of it, every thing he’d done since his trip to hell. And the way Sam had looked at him, he knew it was a bad choice. He knew he’d have to see someone, to get help. It was the wrong idea, he knew it. But he almost felt safer now, more secure. He hoped Sam wouldn’t run. That would break what was left of his miserable heart.

And he was right. Sam engulfed him in a hug, telling him how sorry he was he couldn’t be there for him when he needed it most, apologizing for not noticing the pain he caused on himself.

For once in his life, he had a small glimmer of hope, that maybe, everything would be fine. He would never be same again, but there must be a way, there would be way to get past this. And when it was all over, he would know that he was loved, he was worth something, and he mattered.

And that small piece of hope was all he needed.

Tags- @spnaturalconfessions @spn-fandoms @babypieandwhiskey @straightasdeanwinchester @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @dean-sam-winchesterbros @thegreatficmaster @deanscolette @mishasaurus @godshipsit @sammy-fight-the-fairies @destielsweater @destiel-and-sammy-winchester

#spn #supernatural #depression #suicide #cutting #self harm #dean #sam #dean winchester #sam winchester #winchesters #bar #angst #trigger warning

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traumaticexperiences · 7 years

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Anonymous:i think it's abuse, but i'm not quite sure.

It would be nice if this is anonymous. But could you tag it as “mint” so I can find it if you make it anonymous? Thank you. And thank you for running this blog.

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yeah your mom roughly grabbing your arms and shoulders and slamming you against the wall and punching you sounds terrifying, the fact that it didn't leave marks and bruises just shows that she wanted to hurt you, but didn't want any proof of it left over that could be used against her. it's horrifying. It is physical abuse, and even if it lessened it's likely because physical abuse is used to permanently keep someone scared, intimidated, and obedient, being abused this way in the past is enough for long term consequences, so they don't even have to hit you in the present because your body remembers abuse from the past and is ready to obey them in order to avoid more!

Name calling is abuse, and being told to drown in a shower was basically telling you to die, holy shit, that's horrible! I'm glad you got some comfort afterwards, that's really traumatic.

Refusing to acknowledge your sexual orientation and then using it as an insult is crazy abusive, it sounds like she really hated you and everything you are. Also that is a lot of abuse just over your appearance, the worst is comparing you to others as if you're inferior or something to be ashamed of, it's awful! It's severe emotional and psychological abuse, and it's no wonder you were doing your best not to cry, and still don't feel like your appearance is good enough. You're in the right here, not wasting your time to adjust your appearance to how others would prefer is good! looking the way you feel comfortable is the best decision for you, and your mother had no right to dictate it or to shame you for it, you're a human being, and that matters more than your appearance, and anyone using your appearance to imply that you're less is dehumanizing you, and negating your worth as a human.

You don't have to be perfect in order not to be abused, and even if there were some times where she wasn't abusing you as much, it just means she is able of not abusing you, but she still abused you all the other times. Not abusing you or being nice to you for a short while is absolutely no excuse for abusing you the rest of the time. She sounds really terrifying and it's dangerous to believe she loves you, i don't think someone who cares even slightly about your well being could ever hurt and abuse you this much.

For abuse survirors it is common to get scared and anxious when getting into arguments because in the past you were taught that arguing risks abuse, risks someone accusing you of provoking them or being at fault because you didn't just do as you were told. After that, even if you were in a civil argument it would be scary. Your brain gathers all information about arguing and if there was danger in the past, it expects danger in the future, and sends out warnings and anxiety whenever you have to argue.

It's hard to ever be over someone who you love and trust shoving you against the wall. It's terrifying to just know that person is capable of that, of wanting to hurt and scare you that much. And your mom is gaslighting you and pretending it didn't happen because she knows it was abusive and cruel, and she doesn't want to deal with consequences of that. I'm glad you're questioning everything, and you don't have to consider what your mom has to deal with, this is about you, and how your mom affected you, and what is the shit YOU have to deal with, because of her. You don't have to be counted on for anything, you're a human being, not a tool, not a robot, not there to be of service to others. You deserve good things even if you don't bring profit and good things to others. I don’t know about advices, but I hope you keep questioning your mom’s intentions and actions and do what’s best for you, regardless of what she wants. Remember your life belongs to you, and you do not have to live for her and her ideas of what you should be. If you feel you could be happier without her dragging you down and burdening you, try to get free. Good luck.

#trigger warning #child abuse #emotional abuse #homophobia #abusive parents #gaslighting #submission

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