#Also I talk way more about personnal stuff than I expected

[parlerenfleurs]

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Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°5

Big fan of how Tianlang-Jun thinks his son and nephew are getting it on with the same guy at the same time and is like: This is fine :) I'm totally accepting and full of tolerance. I love humans! :)

And he means it.

678 notes - publié le 7 août 2022

n°4

I don't know if I'm reaching with that one, but it is established rather quickly that Lan WangJi is determined to mirror Wei WuXian's actions in his first life back at him when he has the means (for instance, the carrying on his back thing, or teasing him with "I do not know" as a call back to the "whatever" moment).

And just as it was a mystery to me why Wei WuXian, during the Yiling date, would entice A-Yuan with toys only to not buy him any, setting him up for disappointment, but I came to understand that it was actually a setup for Lan WangJi to buy it so that A-Yuan would like him (!!!), there is a kinda similar situation that crops up in the present, that was puzzling me but became clear to me on this re-read.

When they come out of Yi City, Wei WuXian is quite depressed and despondent. He has just witnessed Xiao XingChen's sad unlucky fate, and it reminded him very strongly of his own. And the juniors are all sad too, and want to burn paper money, and, sure, HanGuang-Jun is lenient and will let them express their emotions, but he's not that lenient, to let them do something improper/impolite like doing this in front of someone's house, when it is considered unlucky.

Yet, he does nothing, until Wei WuXian snaps out of his state and asks him if he's not going to do anything about it, to which Lan WangJi responds why don't you do it yourself.

And I think it was purposeful. Normally he would probably have told them - look at Lan SiZhui, that boy wasn't left to this own devices, someone taught him was what socially acceptable and didn't let him blunder through needlessly offending people until he figured it out himself.

But he saw the state Wei WuXian was in, and sought to distract him from it, by letting him notice and then handle the juniors' actions.

Clever HanGuang-Jun! He learned all of Wei WuXian's subtle tricks and is using them too!

773 notes - publié le 11 septembre 2022

n°3

In a way, in MDZS, Lan Sizhui is the key and answers to the big moral questions in the story: was it all worth it? Was it all worth it when Wei WuXian lost so much, even his life, when the Wens almost all died anyway, when there was so much collateral damage?

The narrative says: yes, it was worth it, because one child survived, and thrived. Look at that lovely, loveable young man! He is the reason all this was not for naught.

But what I find interesting is, Lan Sizhui is not even that exceptional, he doesn't make a big difference in the world, does he? He's still young, but despite his really good character and keen mind and aptitudes, he's not a genius, he's not renowned, he's not a Hanguang-Jun or a Yilling Laozu. He's just a kind, good-mannered, well brought up young man. Anyone would be happy to claim him as a son or a disciple or a son-in-law. But he's not some big game changer. Even though being a cultivator sets him apart from a good chunk of the normal population already, in his habitual context he's a normal kid. He makes friends, acts silly sometimes, hasn't slayed any Shuanwu of slaughter, got easily led into a trap by a trail of beheaded cats. A normal kid.

And that's important, because this reward is as the sacrifice Wei WuXian made. He didn't make some grand gesture for important people. He did what was right in his view, no more, no less. It wasn't for some greater good, even less for fame. It was simply what was right. And if you do what's right you're not really adding up and subtracting the wins and losses as in a giant thought experiment of the trolley problem. There probably would have been ultimately less death and suffering had Wei WuXian let the Wens to their misery and death quietly. There wouldn't have been a Lan Sizhui, but there would have been a Jiang YanLi, a Jin ZiXuan, and many people that got killed when they attacked him would have lived. But it wouldn't have been right, and so Wei WuXian doesn't think about it that way, and the narrative doesn't either. It tells you life is complicated, and sowing violence reaps more violence, and you can't always "win". But if you do your best, if you keep doing what's right, even if you are only human, and make mistakes, and everyone is against you, it still counts.

It counts. Not for the greater good, not for fame, it counts. Because the whole point is Lan Sizhui gets to live, and grow up, and be a normal kid and have a good life, and that's enough. He doesn't need to be or do anything "more" than that.

1 282 notes - publié le 25 mars 2022

n°2

It is lovely in MDZS how Wei WuXian essentially has the “male” role, in that he is the one pulling on Lan WangJi’s figurative pigtails, the one to give him flowers repeatedly, the one to say he’s pretty out loud and in his head all the time, and the one trying to get him to pay attention to him.

Lan WangJi, meanwhile, gets teased, looks pretty, receives flowers, gets embarassed, defaults to ignoring his crush to appear aloof and keep control, his chaste modesty is being scandalously transgressed via super-meaningful Lan ribbon and cold pond shenanigans, and he secretly keeps all the tokens of Wei WuXian’s affections

And also kisses him forcefully against a tree (but even then in the text and Wei WuXian's view, he's a "shy maiden") and fantasizes about shutting him up in a very specific way

Socially also, Lan WangJi is the pure and treasured daughter niece/sister, thematically, while Wei WuXian is the handsome devilish rake who "corrupts him"

And I find it hilarious how they both subvert everything I've mentioned above (by virtue of being extremely well-written characters who aren't confined to one stereotype but feel like real, complex, subtle people instead), especially after Wei WuXian's resurrection when their dynamic changes to become extremely funny more balanced

1 690 notes - publié le 16 août 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

The power dynamic between Bingqiu is so complex and unhinged.

On the one hand, Shen Qingqiu is the Shizun, and Luo Binghe the disciple. He still pretty much serves and defers to him as such. Shen Qingqiu is the master, the elder, the superior, in a way that can never change in a culture so steeped in respect for such hierarchies, and where reversal or equalization is simply not a thing. Shen Qingqiu himself still refers to himself as "this master" for most of the story (even post canon? I can't remember), and the one quality he appreciates in Luo Binghe (at least that he says aloud) is his obedience. In both their minds, he's very firmly the one who raised and trained Luo Binghe - though with very different connotations depending on who you ask.

On the other hand... well... Luo Binghe plays the obedient puppy-ish disciple, but he pretty much cute/pathetic-bullies his way into anything he wants, because Shen Qingqiu is weak to him and can't say no. So Luo Binghe plays submissive, cries a little, then gets to top Shen Qingqiu into next Sunday in the most unfillial way imaginable lol. Also, and I cannot stress this enough, he's the most powerful person in the world, he doesn't have to serve anyone in a humble cottage. He literally has an empire and is a ruler, but he plays housewife and meek disciple to this one spoiled guy who gave him the correct manual once and head-patted him with abandon.

Also let's not forget that, to Luo Binghe, Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan are pretty seamlessly the same person. This serial head-patter is also the guy who poured hot tea on him and would string him up to beat him and made him sleep in the woodshed like a particularly miserable Cinderella. To him, one day, his cruel master deemed him worthy of his love after he made him go through many trials, and then slam-dunked him into the abyss, and then self-destructed to save him and then turned out to be alive and avoiding him like the plague and then sulked because Luo Binghe did not properly ask his hand in marriage. Luo Binghe may be the most powerful man in the world and have Shen Qingqiu wrapped around his manipulative golden little finger, BUT the grip and ascendant Shen Qingqiu possesses over Luo Binghe's psyche is unparalleled.

BUT the other side of this equation is that Shen Qingqiu feels so guilty, and loves Luo Binghe so much, he can't bear to make him unhappy and folds like a wet paper towel any time there is the merest hint of tears - which is a conscious strategy on Luo Binghe's part! Shang Qinghua told him acting pathetic works, and it does, and so he milks it! Who knows how much of it is real? Not me. Not Shen Qingqiu either, who also does not care that he's being manipulated. He knows he's being manipulated! But it works anyway!

Because what are you going to do when a cute puppy makes sad eyes at you?? Not give him the bit of meat???

You're his master but he owns your heart so that's your fate, now. He's huge and could maul you but he loves you too much and prefers to act spoiled. He sits when you say sit, comes when you say come. You tell him no but he climbs into your lap anyway and you are helpless to stop him so you pet him. It's messy, full of pathos, possibly unhealthy. You're both living your best life.

That's Bingqiu.

1 736 notes - publié le 18 octobre 2022

Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →

[petitmimosa]

I was watching the FiveThirtyEight's video about Jason Brown and how he had to build a community to support him (which included moving to be trained at the Toronto Cricket Club) to get him to the Beijing Olympics, and I imagine that Yuzu has done the same for himself back in his hometown in Sendai.

While I have no doubt that he would thrive if he went back to TCC and would get support from Brian Orser, Ghislain Briand and Tracy Wilson, it's very different from getting unconditional support from his family and community in Sendai. I feel like in Sendai, he can just be himself, without any expectations to go for things that people want him to go for (like you mentioned about how he didn't talk about a third gold medal until other people did).

There has been studies that have shown that athletes primarily develop anxiety and depression because if they have a bad performance, they feel like they let down the people that are close to and important to them, which is why it is so crucial to have a community of unconditional support. If Yuzu believes that he has more of that type of community in Sendai than at TCC, then yes, he should stay in Sendai.

Athletes should take care of their mental health just as much as their physical health.

HIii! Oh yes, I understand exactly what you mean. But I'm conflicted.

On the one hand I definitely believe Yuzu feels best in Sendai. It's his home and where everyone who matters to him on a personnal level is. (It's also the place where he's under the heaviest attention because finally he's in Japan again after all these years away, and I don't know enough to say whether or not he's bothered by paps and stuff like that because we don't get any pics thank god but maybe it's because by now he knows how to avoid them like he had to in the past). And I don’t think anyone at TCC expect anything from him. Brian has said many times how they just follow his lead, they offer intel and guidance but they’re way past the student/teacher situation now.

And on the other hand... I feel like Yuzu needs to be surrounded by other skaters. I can't explain it. Maybe it's because how he lits up at every gala, or practice with other skaters or maybe it's because I firmly believe that training on your own, even at home and even if you found a routine that fits you to a tee... in the end you end up missing your skating community. There’s a reason why having Javi as his training mate and vice versa helped them grow as skaters.

It's a hard balance to find. But I agree, he'll stay where he's simply at peace, and that's what matters most in the end.

[lu-undy]

Chapter 78 - SBT

Here it is!

"I assume you had your reasons for doing it this way but it has to change, and fast." Lucien sat on the oval table and crossed his arms. The smoke from his cigarette floated in the air like a cloud above his head.

"I did. But now that there is no danger anymore, I might actually do it." 

Lucien frowned and pondered.  The king of the beggars went on.

"I will set a rendez-vous point. All you have to do is have him be there." 

"Non." Lucien answered, raising cold eyes to his ex-colleague. 

"What?"

"Non." He repeated firmly. "You are not taking any risks in this business, I am. So we will do things my way."

"What risks are you taking?" Maurice asked and Lucien's anger flashed on his fair irises.

"You know very well." He answered drily.

"Very well, what do you suggest?" 

Lucien sighed. 

"I do not know yet. I need to think about it. The stakes are too high. Every second that I spend with you discussing it is a second that I betray him and his trust. I cannot afford that, nor do I want it, not anymore, not ever." 

"Fine." Maurice said, from his old wooden throne. "You do as you please." 

"Tell me where they are. I shall bear the responsibility of the rest." 

Maurice wrote something on a piece of paper and slid it to the ex-spy. 

"That is where I have kept them. Good luck. They are expecting him."

The Frenchman's rage boiled up a notch higher. 

"Pardon?" He asked in his native tongue. "Do not think for one second that this puts you out of any responsibility!"

"What are you going to do? Stab me in the back, like in the old days…?" 

Lucien's jaw relaxed and he smirked, not like the free man he was now, but like the spy he had been: cold, arrogant and overly self-confident.

"Me? Nothing. Him? I am not so sure, Maurice." 

He took the piece of paper that he stored in his pocket and exited the hideout. When he made it back to the surface, he adjusted his scarf and headed back home. 

-- Next day -- 

"Mundy, I forgot to tell you something."

"What is it?"

Lucien was sitting next to his lover at the table while they shared breakfast. 

"Richard and his wife agreed to take Diamond." 

"Oh, that's great news!" 

"I also sent the word to Maurice, and he is happy to take Star."

"Oh, alright."

"Oui, he shall train her to take on Perle's job and hunt mice and chase away any undesired rodents." 

"That's nice, hear that, Starry baby?" Mundy was cuddling the lady kitten. She meowed happily. "You'll get a nice home and a job. Kids'll cover you in pets too!"

"And guess where our beloved ball of hunger will end up?" Lucien asked, petting Glovy on his lap. 

"I don't know, where?" 

"There is one young man who will make him more than happy." 

"Who?"

Lucien smiled before answering. 

"Bastien." 

"Bastian?" 

"Who better than an apprentice chef cook for our beloved Glovy?" Lucien asked. 

"Hear that, fat boy? Your new dad's gonna make you delicious food!"

"Mrow!" He answered excitedly. 

"Yeah…" Mundy extended his hand and scratched Glovy under his chin. "You're one happy, chunky boy, aren't ya?" 

The large yet short cat purred happily under the attention. 

"So that settles it apart from Junior…" Mundy said. The kitten had grown up like his brother and his sisters but still looked smaller. 

"Viens, mon petit." 

[Come, my little one.]

Lucien bent down, released Glovy and scooped his namesake off the floor to put him on his knees. 

"He will have a good forever home. We shall offer him as a gift and a surprise." Lucien answered, cuddling the kitten. 

"Yeah, but to who?" Mundy asked. 

"To whom?" Lucien corrected. "Well, who will need a Lucien and has been missing me while I was away?" 

"Me?" Mundy answered. 

"Apart from you?" Lucien asked. 

"Don't know, who?" 

"Victoria." He answered. 

"Oh…" 

"I think she will take the best care of him." Lucien added. 

"I'm sure you're right, darl'." Mundy laced a lazy arm around Lucien's shoulders and the Frenchman leaned on him. 

"Any plans for today?" Mundy asked.

"I was thinking of taking the kittens to their new homes." Lucien answered, pushing a lock of silver hair behind his ear. 

"Oh, ok, sure."

"I suggest we start with Bastien and Richard, they are not too far apart from each other. Then, Maurice and in the end, Victoria."

"You wanna take Junior to the diner?" 

"Non, I planned on knocking directly at her door, after her shift." 

"You know where she lives?" 

Lucien raised his eyes and his smirk to his lover. 

"Right, right, ok, ex-spy, I get it." Mundy chuckled.

"I see you are learning." Lucien teased. "But what do you think of this plan? That ought to keep us busy for most of the day."

"Seems like it, yeah. I'm alright with the plan. But first, we need to tell Pearl and Soot." 

"But of course." 

Lucien and Mundy finished their breakfast and found themselves sitting on the carpet in the living room, facing the cats. 

"Right, ladies and gents…" Mundy started. "Today, you're gonna leave Mum and Dad, even your gramps."

The kittens listened with wide open eyes. 

"Meow?" Perle, who had been laying on the carpet, moved to sit up.

"Do not worry, mon bébé," Lucien scratched her head gently. "They will all go to good homes. Star will go to Maurice and hunt the mice there, oh and Junior will go to Victoria."

"Meow?" Soot rose to his feet too. 

"Hey, Sooty boy, you trust the old gramps, eh?"

The black cat went straight to Mundy and purred when he scratched his jaw. 

"There we go. Now, we're gonna give you a few minutes to say goodbye, ok? You be good boys and girls." 

Mundy rose to his feet. 

"Mrow…" Perle bit her Papa's sleeve. 

"Oh? Qu'est-ce que tu veux, ma chérie?"

[Oh? What do you want, my darling?]

She kept on pulling his sleeve and meowing sadly. 

"I will stay with her, go and get ready, Mundy."

"You sure?"

"Oui, she needs me." 

"Fair. See ya in a bit, I'll go get my shoes and stuff." Mundy left a kiss on Lucien's brow and left him with the cats. 

Perle stood on her back legs. Lucien smiled and lifted her into his arms, rocking her gently.

"Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Tu n'aimes pas les 'au revoir' ?"

[What is happening? You don't like goodbyes?]

"Mrow…" She answered sadly. 

"Personne n'aime les au revoir. Ni les hommes, ni les chattes apparemment. Ne t'inquiète pas, tes bébés sont grands maintenant, ils n'ont plus besoin, ni de toi, ni de leur père, ni de nous."

[No one likes goodbyes. Neither people, nor lady cats apparently. Don't worry, your babies have grown up now, they don't need you or Soot, or us anymore.]

"What's wrong, baby?" Mundy joined them and put Lucien's shoes down next to him. "Don't want the kids to go, eh?" 

"Non, she does not." Lucien answered. They both spoiled her with affection, scratches and sweet words. 

"When…" Lucien started. His eyes were riveted on Perle. "When Jérémy was growing up…" 

Mundy's eyebrows jumped. He hadn't expected Lucien to talk about his late son. 

"There came an age where he liked me… less." 

"Oh?" Mundy scooted closer to his lover. 

"Like any other child of his age, he started seeing me not as a model, but as someone who continuously failed to understand him."

"It's fine, luv', we all had that phase for a bit…"

"I guess so but," Lucien sighed and looked away. "It still felt strange to hear the baby that I had carried in my arms a few years before tell me that he hated me, that I was never there for him, that… that…" 

"Sshhh." Mundy wrapped his arms around Lucien and pulled his head under his chin. 

"I was a poor father… I was absent, I was busy, I was away, I was…"

"Hey, it's alright. All dads are like that, ok? They're all busy with work and stuff when we're kids. Then we get to teenage boys and we start gettin' weird, and wonderin' about sheilas… And boys, I guess… About ourselves. We got all these questions and parents are shit at answerin' them. So we feel alone, and not really understood. But it's fine, it's how it goes and how it should go." 

Lucien buried his head deeper in Mundy's chest. 

"Doesn't mean you were a bad dad. And I'm sure of it now, I've seen you with Victoria and with Pearl. You're a bloody good Papa." 

"Maybe." Lucien's voice was muffled. His eyes were closed against Mundy's heart that he heard beating gently in front of him. He could smell the cheap cologne too, it brought him immense comfort. 

"Hey, not to me, eh? I saw you. I even told you. Wish my dad was like you."

"Oui but…"

"But what, love? Tell me." 

"I…"

"Get it out, darl'... Better out than in."

Lucien's shoulders sank. 

"I wish I could now know what Jérémy really thought of me. At the end, he kept on reproaching me all those things and, well, they were all true. Each time he did, I looked in his eyes, God, his eyes… He had his mother's eyes… Blue, of a darker shade than mine, dirty blond hair, buck teeth… He was an adorable little boy but he grew up to hit puberty, too soon. And each time he would address me, it would not be with admiration anymore, but with anger and hatred." 

"Hey… Darl'..." Mundy gently rocked his lover and slid his fingers through his long hair. "Close your eyes and remember when you were his age, eh? Didn't you think that you had it all figured out, that you'd be better off without your parents, that they didn't understand what you felt…?"

"Mundy, you are not understanding."

"Oh?"

Lucien pulled himself out of the embrace and rubbed his eyes. 

"Non, I understood him too well! I knew this rage, this powerlessness, this frustration. I knew it so well that when I was faced with it, I decided to leave home and live in the streets." 

Mundy frowned. 

"When I turned 18, I fled. My mother and step-father pressured me and forced me to choose between Medicine and Law. I didn't want either, and so I ran away. And whenever I saw Jérémy look at me with hatred, I would see myself, right before I fled. It terrified me, that sight."

"You were scared that he'd run away too?" Mundy asked. 

Lucien raised his eyes to him and nodded sadly. 

"Oh, I get it now… But Lu'..."

"Who knows? Maybe he wanted to flee too. Maybe God claimed him back before he had the chance."

"Ssh." Mundy pulled Lucien in a hug again. "You can't know. No one can."

"What terrified me most is how his mother would have reacted, had he decided to run away."

"Lu', stop thinkin' about it. You can't do anything about it, and in any case, you don't have to."

"Oui, but what if-?"

"No, luv', listen." Mundy cut him off and cupped his face such that he rested his forehead against his. "What ifs are useless, darl'. Stop thinking about it. Let your baby boy rest, and let yourself rest too."

"I cannot. There are things that I have been holding within myself for far too long. I want someone to know. I want someone to share all these personal secrets with, I want to share the weight of that burden, all those mistakes, those sins." 

"Hey now, don't be dramatic. Everyone does stuff they regret. There isn't one man or sheila alive who doesn't regret somethin'! It's just not possible!"

"Oui, but I don't care about other people!"

"Neither do I! But you can't continue carrying stuff like that on your back!"

"You want me to forget?" Lucien asked, his eyes wider than planets. 

"No! I want you to learn to live with it in your heart, not on your shoulders like you're carrying the world's misery on yourself!"

Lucien lowered his head and softly headbutted Mundy's chest. 

"I know it's hard, love. I really do. Sometimes I think about my parents and how I… I-I…" 

Lucien raised his head and Mundy looked away. 

"How you what?" He gently asked. 

"I'm a monster… I-I left them to die."

Lucien's eyes snapped wide. 

"Non!" He frowned. "You outdid yourself to avenge them! I saw you, the delicate, shy, compassionate you torture a man. You burnt a man, you burnt every square inch of his chest while he was wide awake and alive!"

Mundy rubbed his eyes and winced. 

"Yeah, you don't need to remind me of that, thanks…."

"Mundy…" Lucien put a hand on his cheek. "You have surpassed yourself, you have done what you never thought you could and yet what did you do? You put yourself aside and did more than what trained soldiers did during the war! Mundy, you avenged them and made them proud."

"Hm. Don't think they're proud." Mundy answered. 

"That is not what I said. I said you made them proud. You avenged them and that is what you had set yourself to do, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Don't you feel at rest now with respect to your parents?" 

Mundy raised his eyes to Lucien and his gaze hung there for a few seconds. 

"I… I'm not sure." 

"Do you regret having dealt with Duchemin?" 

"N-not really but…"

Lucien nodded as he started to understand it. 

"Ah, I see… It is the discussion you had with your parents when you took me to meet them?"

Mundy nodded and sighed. 

"I feel like they'd be even more furious at me." 

"Why?"

"Mum's a good woman. She never would have wanted to hurt anyone. And Dad just hated violence for the sake of it."

"So you feel like you have avenged them but betrayed the education they gave you, their values?" 

"Yeah. I think you put the words on it, again." 

"Again?" Lucien asked. 

"That's why I was so fascinated by Lulu at first. It's cause he managed to put words on things I felt inside me."

"Mundy, you did what you did because it was the right thing to do when you had to do it." Lucien said. "Had things been different, of course you would have reacted differently. Had you not been dragged into the alligators business, you surely wouldn't have followed the track of the worthless man who killed your parents. Besides, this isn't a case of violence for the sake of it. You didn't wake up with the crave to torture someone, no one does. Non. You used violence because what else was left?"

"Nothing." Mundy answered.

"Exactly, you were alone and you didn't have any other way to set things straight. No law on Earth would have condemned that man for the atrocities he caused. So don't look at it the way you are. Had you not followed that lead to find the alligators, Duchemin might still be walking this Earth."

"And I wouldn't have met you." 

Lucien smiled. 

"Non, you would not have, but such is the game of life. You cannot win everything. Either you missed all this, you didn't deal with Duchemin and you didn't meet me, or you indeed go through all of this but with me at your side." 

"Is that the choice I have?" 

"Not exactly. You have made the choice of pursuing the alligators' road and we know where that has led you up until today. Who knows what the other path could have offered?"

"I wouldn't have known you."

"Indeed, but you would not feel this almost regret that you do right now." Lucien explained. 

"Hm."

"It is similar to me. I thought I had put away the suit and tie for good after Marie and Jérémy passed. Yet when the Minister of Defense told me of Duchemin, I could not resist the urge to deal with him." 

"D'you think they'd uh… They'd be… proud of you?"

"Non." Lucien chuckled. "Marie hated my job with a passion. She was very wary of Jérémy discovering it and becoming attracted to the idea of becoming like me. I pretended I had an office job - after all, the suit and tie worked wonders to fool anyone - and invented all kinds of stories and lies to him. He was too young to understand. But I think that as he grew up, he might have had suspicions. There aren't many jobs where you travel left and right, attend luxurious parties but don't take even your partner with you. I think he had his doubts about my job, maybe that added to his hatred towards me." 

"So we're both in the same state, eh?" 

"Oui."

"Again?"

"Oui." 

"Thank God." 

Lucien looked at Mundy. He smiled softly. 

"I'm tired of feeling alone and have weird feelin's inside me, and I'm startin' to get used to you understanding me and feeling the same way too." 

Lucien returned the gentle, lopsided grin. 

"I am grateful to have found you for that same reason, mon loup."

[My wolf]

Lucien tapped the tip of Mundy's nose and the Aussie's eyelids fluttered as he chuckled. 

"Hey…!" Mundy pulled Lucien from his waist and kissed his nose. "There, now we're even."

"Merci!"

[Thanks!]

"You're welcome. So, shall we take the kittens to their new homes?" 

"Before we do, do you feel any better?" Lucien asked.

"Yeah… Thanks love, you're the best."

"My pleasure.  In that case, let us proceed." Lucien turned to Perle. "May we…?" 

The lady cat rubbed her head against Lucien's hand before going to his mouth. He kissed her and she went to lie against Soot. 

"I think that's a yes, Lu'." Mundy said. "I found this cardboard box. Let's put the kitties in and I'll carry it. You lead the way." 

"Perfect." 

The couple scooped the kittens and placed them gently in the box. They went to the door and exited the place. 

"Mister L, Sir?" 

"Oh?" Lucien saw a group of kids running to him in the street. "Oui, what is it, gentlemen?" He squatted to be at their eye level. 

"Maurice said Francis left this for you." One of the blond boys recited his text and inflated his chest proudly. 

"What did he leave?" Lucien asked.

"This!" The child pointed further in the street. 

"Oh!" Lucien's eyebrows jumped and he failed to hide his surprise. "Is that really true?" 

"Yes, Sir! Francis said he was delighted to know you were doing well. He sends his regards." 

"Thank you. Here…" Lucien took his wallet out and gave the children a note. "Don't spend it all on sweets, and do share it." 

"Thank you so much!" The kids ran away, leaving the couple and the kittens alone on the pavement. 

"Hahaha!" Lucien went to the black motorcycle and tapped it gently. "A marvel of elegance and technology. I am delighted that Francis decided to leave it to me…" 

Mundy caught up with him, the box still in his arms. 

"I remember that bike. You came to see me at the lake with it. It's the one that turns invisible, right?" 

"Indeed, that is the one." Lucien let his fingers run on the leather seat. "A delight to drive too." He raised his eyes to Mundy and took the box off of his arms to secure it at the back. 

"What are you doin'...?"

"You don't think we will walk to deliver those kittens, do you?"

"N-no, we could take me van?"

"Non. Here." Lucien handed him the second helmet and made sure the kittens were safe. He wrapped his scarf around the box to dampen the noise of the engine.

"W-what? You want me to-?"

"Come on, Mundy!" Lucien straddled the motorcycle and held a hand out for his lover.

"You sure?"

"You don't trust my riding abilities?"

"N-no, nah, it's just that…"

"What then? Am I too old for riding a motorcycle?" Lucien chuckled.

"Nah, course not, hold on…" Mundy put on the helmet and took his lover's hand. He straddled the motorcycle, behind Lucien.

"Be careful on the road, love." 

"I will. Now hold on." Lucien started the engine and the motorcycle woke up in a roar. 

Mundy put his hands on Lucien's sides and took advantage of the situation to hold him dearly. The Frenchman smiled in his helmet and off they went to deliver the kittens. 

The first stop was made to Bastien. He was delighted to meet his new companion. Then came Maurice and a well earned lunch break. Lucien and Mundy were left with Junior. While waiting for Victoria to finish her shift, they spent the afternoon in a park with the young cat. 

"Mundy?" 

"Yeah?"

"I had a thought about something you said."

"What is it?"

"Remember when you told me that there were things you wanted to do with me and that you hadn't had the chance before I went away?" 

"Yeah."

"I think we should do one of them this evening." Lucien answered.

"What d'you have in mind?" Mundy asked. 

"Surprise…!" Lucien teased. "But first, let us deliver this young man to his new mother." He scratched his namesake's jaw and the kitten purred. 

"Alright, you lead the way."

[belleandkurtbastian]

Okay, more awake now. Time for thoughts on Skam France Season 5.

(Note: I will be translating “personnes en situation de handicap” as “disabled people”, the term preferred within my social spheres over “people with disabilities”. I will also be translating “sourd” and “surdité”, as they relate to Arthur, as “deaf” and “deafness” respectively. I understand that these terms have social and community meanings that some may or may not consider as applying to Arthur, but the translation is already fuzzy due to different community boundaries cross-linguistically.)

Background: I’ve watched Skam S3-4, and Skam France S3-4 before this.

Of the those 5 seasons, I think Skam France S5 is the best-constructed. The tone, pacing, and content is the best-realised. I think Skam S3 will always be the favourite in my mind, for personal reasons, but I find it hard to say that Skam S3 is “better” than Skam FR S5.

So, getting into it:

First: the Skam France writers clearly do well unshackled from the expectation of imitation. They don’t have source material to adapt here, so it’s a wholly new series, and they take that to their advantage. My problems with S3 and S4, where they were changing and moving things from the original in ways that I considered a pure downgrade? Not a factor here.

Okay, the actual content: it’s pretty rare to see later-in-life disabilities represented. Like, you’ll get people who are terminally ill, and you’ll get people who were disabled from birth or since early childhood, but it’s so rare that media actually follows the story of someone BECOMING disabled, and I really appreciate that.

And my God, they packed a lot into those 10 episodes. They have the entire “between two worlds” thing, brief discussions of language around disability, treatment of the differing needs of different disabled people and communities, medical interventions, pressure around medical intervention from parents and medical staff, the use of a variety of assistive devices (two different types of hearing aids, cochlear implants, live transcription apps), Arthur learning LSF, Arthur getting his sign name...

And that’s all just kind of peripheral stuff to the overall story of Arthur accepting and owning his deafness.

I want to talk in particular about the point where Arthur tells Noée “je ne suis pas entendant” (”I am not a hearing person”), because that scene has me a little conflicted. I get that rhetorically, it’s a powerful scene, and he then spends the next several clips without his hearing aids in. But it bugs me a LITTLE, purely because Arthur had already been owning the label “sourd” for a couple of episodes before this, at school, and socially in general. The way that the declaration is played as this Big Thing™ doesn’t really fit with the way that Arthur had been describing himself before.

But I guess it’s a community thing. I’m not sure if Arthur had owned his deafness to any other D/deaf people before that. And that “pas entendant” and “sourd” are different nuances.

I don’t know. I like the arc overall, even here, it just felt a little... muddied. Maybe the intent came through better to others, and to D/deaf/HoH people.

Briefly, the D/deaf characters within the show. We only really get introduced to two. There are several background characters, but we focus on Noée and Camille.

First of all, Noée. I like her. I think she’s a very realistic character, and she’s clearly there to guide both Arthur AND the audience into the community, but without a full hand-holding lead. The romantic subplot... Eh, the whole “cheating on Alexia” part makes me uncomfortable, but the actual development felt very organic and earned, and it really sold the “entre deux mondes” concept well. I think that the lack of a firm resolution at the end of the season is fine. It works narratively and rhetorically, with Arthur still feeling somewhat “entre deux mondes”.

And then Camille. Honestly, I’m surprised that Skam France introduced an LGBTQ+ deaf character. Arthur already had Alexia, his bi girlfriend, and it would have been SUPER easy for the writers to justify not adding any more queer characters around Arthur. I am *not* objecting to this turn, though. While most of the disabled characters I know on TV are queer, that’s more to do with the media I watch, rather than some grand representation win.

Anyway, Camille is a fine character. I think he’s the most... “we need a character who fills this role” character (a go-between for Arthur/Noée and the designated “you’re an idiot” guy for the season) that the show has had so far, but I think he’s a fine character. His relationship with Mika? We don’t see much of it, at all, but I think that works considering who those characters are in relation to the rest of the main cast. Camille’s sexuality and relationships aren’t important to Arthur’s story, but they’re still *there* in the show.

And then all the social stuff with Arthur’s friends. I think this was handled... well, by the show. Less well by the characters...

But the tension between them, and the overall discontent... It felt less dramatic than Lucas’ and Imane’s seasons’ tension. And I know some people wouldn’t like that, but I do. I think that they played into the “well-meaning friends don’t know what to do” thing well, without excusing Arthur’s friends’ actions, and also without the absolute feeling of despair and emptiness that Lucas and Imane got into at a certain point in their seasons (ditto, Isak and Sana).

They draw that weird parallel to Lucas’ secrets, too. And like... first of all, the whole “We don’t keep secrets” thing is laughable considering that Lucas’ season was only a year ago. But secondly, is this just going to be a thing now? Anything after an Isak’s season will be compared to the Isak’s problems? Like with the Sana/Isak (Imane/Lucas) conversation in S4?

Anyway, that’s kind of a nitpick.

I really liked Skam France S5.

Oh, and I finally figured out how to watch it: French subs, English transcript. Only took me three seasons :P

[seirei-bh]

Yes, I still love Eren

Ok, I didn't want to write this whole post because I don't like to discuss with other people and I always try to be patient, be quiet and just ignore this kind of stuff and keep moving foward with my life, but this is getting on my nerves.

Sometimes I wonder if some people on this fandom are a bunch of kids or teenagers who never have read/watch cruel and complex fiction stories before, like Berserk, Game of thrones, Evangelion, The last of us, etc, or just people so dumb they can't differ ficction from reality...

Repeat with me: people can love villains, people can love drama and horror in ficction and that doesn't mean those people are bad :)

It's frustating being an Eren's fan, because some people just can't understand that you can love villains and characters who are assasins or a bad person IN FICTION without being pro genocide in real life. Seriously, people SHOULD know the difference between fiction and reallity.

I love Eren Jaeger, because he's complex, well written and one of the most interesting MC I've seen in my life. I love the "hero-to-villain" arcs (like Anakin Skywalker). I love a lot of characters who are not good people because of their complex backstories, personnality or conflicted development. Ex: Joel of TLOU murdered a lot of innocent people at the ending only to save ONE person, but you can understand why he's doing that, despite you don't like his actions.

Besides, you know what? "White and perfect" heroes are boring.

A lot of people is saying now "I hate Eren, uuuhhh, you're a bad person if you love him uhhhh, Eren is the worst, he's the baddest of all the characters, the members of Alliance are the only good ones, Eren must die" only because in the last chapter we've seen the collosals trampling babies... seriously?? Yeah, I was shocked too and I feel sick and sad the first time I read it, but I can deal with it because SnK was ALWAYS cruel.

I guess people just conveniently decided to forget a lot of details of the first arcs and seasons.

Heeey, remember when Annie killed a lot of soldiers, all the Levi's squad and a lot of innocent people in the Central district while she was fighting agains Eren and the Survey Corps? She even played to yo-yo with one the the soldiers hahah :D Do you remember that Eren DIDN'T want to fight agains her and only did it because his comrades Armin Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Levi and others FORCED HIM to fight? oh, and innocent children suffered and died too in the middle of that fight. But of course, people just don't talk about it, because now Annie is now one of the cute wifeys of the "group of good heroes" :) (I love Annie and aruani, btw, but I just hate when some people are so hypocrytes to love Annie, Reiner and Bert, and also the members of Alliance and just sentence Eren for do something he was obligated to do to save his people, same as the Warriors tried to do to before to save people of Marley)

Eren tried to find a pacific way to resolves the problems during 4 years. He infiltrated in Marley alone, cutted his leg and hurt his eye, and talked with Reiner, only to try to understand his actions. But while he was forgiving his enemy and old comrade, he was listening a lot of people of the world clapping and smiling when Willy Tybur declared the war and extermination of Paradis. And in that moment Eren got a sad expression on his face, because he understood the entire world was their enemy so he was forced to become in a mass murdered and the devil of the world to save his people.

People of this fandom no longer talk about all the innocent people who were eaten by the titans that Marley dumped on the island. They don't talk of the number of Eldians that nations elsewhere have locked up in concentration camps, who are tortured and humiliated every day, simply for being Eldians, just like Jews in WWII, as we saw in Zeke's and Grisha's flashbacks. People forget Erwin, Carla, Armin's granpa, thousands of innocent people who lived inside wall Maria, and hundreds of soldiers died without even know the real reason why.

People in this fandom don't talk enough about Armin was the one who told Eren "to defeat your enemies, you have to become a monster", that Levi was the one who told Eren that he will have to take difficult choices if he wanted to survive, and that other people might die but he should be prepared to deal with it. That it was Mikasa who fought without hesitation against Annie and urged Eren to fight vs their enemies, along with Armin, Jean and Connie. That Hange and Levi tortured, killed and manipulated other soldiers in season three to archieve their purposes, that Reiner admitted in front of Eren that he destroyed the wall not because they forced him, but because he wanted to be a hero, so his parents could be together and be proud of him.

No. Because it's much easy only to throw shit at Eren because he's killing babies of background characters who were totally fine with the idea to exterminate the eldians of Paradise, and yes, that includes inocent eldian children, Historia's baby and all the kids she saved at the orphanage. But I guess people is not ready to talk about this.

People don't talk about the fact Armin, Jean, Connie and the rest of the cast admited in ch 133 that they are sinners too. That they forced Eren to do this, that despite they wanted to stop him, they couldn't give him a realistic and a good alternative solution. That the Alliance killed their own comrades and ignored Eren's depression for four years. Now they regret ir but it's too late.

Btw, Armin is my favourite character of snk, and I LOVE Jean with all my heart and I like the rest of the cast. But all these things are true. Eren is the one who is commiting a global genocide, but the rest of the cast are not heroes, they're guilty about this as well. So stop picture them as heroes and Eren as the only villain of the world. This story is much more complex than that.

 If you can't deal with characters with complex moratily and cruel actions, perhaps you should go to read Fairy Tail, Bleach or Naruto, where things are solved because the perfect and heroic main character is a saint who can solves all the problems of the world with the power of friendship and/or is able to change the mind of everybody just using the "talk-no-jutsu". And I'm not saying this like a bad thing, Naruto is one of my faves mangas and I like B and FT too.

and about the ending, I see a lot of people expecting some kind of cliché and easy ending, like the typicals about heroes-vs-villains stories of most Marvel's movies and mainstream animes, despite of Isayama himself has said in lot of interviews he wanted to hurt his readers and he loves controversial stories of murderers and monsters.

I don't know how Isayama will finish this. I wish it could be a peaceafull ending where eldians and humans can solve all their problems, but snk was never so positive. If Alliance wins and kills Eren and Isayama still is able to do a realistic and logical ending, giving the world convincent reasons to forgive the eldians of Paradis after that, I will be satisficed. But if Eren wins and kill all the people of the world because that's really the only way to save eldians... I won't blame Isayama. I love bittersweet, different and controversial endings.

I don't want the Alliance to die, specially my babies Armin and Jean, I love them too much, but  whatever if is either Eren who wins or either the Alliance, I would like to see an ending where Eren's survives, because I think that would be very interesting, to see him dealing with the guilt of his crimes during the rest of his life, with some kind of PTSD and trying to keep moving foward with his life despite of that. That would be a million times more interesting than "just kill him because he's bad". No, he deserves to suffers the burden of his actions, same as Reiner did after he back to Marley. The scene when Reiner tried to suicided but didn't it because Falco and Gabi were his reasons to keep living made me felt a lot of emotions, I know a lot of people considered that scene like a meme now, but the emotional impact was amazing. So, if I could choose, I prefer to see a scene of Eren like that, instead ot just being murdered.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 6

The next part!

Some feelings ;)

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey Thursday April 4

"You should have tell me sooner."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey rolled his eyes. As if it would have change anything.

"Archie and I have this shit under control. There isn't much you can do."

Even through the phone, he guessed she was annoyed. D.R didn't like to be kept in the dark. Especially on that matter. Archie had insisted : they had to warn her about Nate. And I guess he's right.

"The victim isn't from our college anyway." he continued. "You can't make further investigations."

"I get that." she sighed. "But I'm a specialist with a diploma. I know Archie must've been a good support, but he isn't trained. What if he reawken his own traumas ? You remember as well as me how hard healing him had been the first time... I never had a case like his before... And by judging his ever expanding pack, we can tell he isn't completely cured."

"Yeah but until now, he's fine. And I think he can learn from this experience. For fucksake, I'm not stupid."

Seriously it was so annoying. He knew how to help people, he wasn't some heartless jerk ! D.R was the kind of person to worry anyway.

"Let's say I'll trust you on this for now." she decided. "I'll send a girl to watch discreetly over him when he goes out anyway. Sadly, I don't have any boy working for me. And once he's ready to be seen, you bring him to me. Now let's talk about our second... matter. My team didn't manage to get to the root of the website. Our prankster is good and we can't do much as long as he remains anonymous."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey gnashed his teeth. Damnit this is so fucking frustrating.

"This hunt is totally unethical." he grumbled. "There is nothing you can do ?"

"Well, I agree with you. A bounty for a prey isn't something I can tolerate." she replied. "But what do you want me to do ? I can order all the hunters to stop coming close to him but that's include you. There's no way I will treat you differently."

But this baboon is mine ! I'm his fucking boyfriend god damnit ! It made him think about what Zack had told him. I'm not ready to admit it yet. Not that he wasn't happy with the baboon but... He could already imagine the reaction of the community. The laughs and the teasing. They would never let him go away with that. Everything he had built so far would be wrecked.

"Forget it." he mumbled. "Let them try to catch the prey and fail miserably. It'll be fun to watch."

After all, many of them had already tried. And nobody had succeeded.

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey tasted his pancake. They were delicious. Of course they're... I'm the best. But still, he was a bit worried. It was their first date since Liam had discovered the truth about Nate, and the Dean's grandson couldn't help but be stressed. What if his baboon held a grudge against him for having lied ? Liam was probably too concerned about the midget to truly enjoy a date with his newly boyfriend anyway. They weren't that close and... Stop. Wait a fuckin second. What the hell ?! Was he, the best hunter, seriously thinking like a weakling ? This is... Man I just don't get it. Why am I stressing over something like that ? Is it because... It was so hard to admit it. The baboon wasn't any boyfriend. He was nothing like his precedent relationships. It was the reason Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey couldn't resolve himself to reveal the truth to the community. Because in barely five month, Liam became an important part of his life...

"Hey Dami, you okay ?"

Speaking of the devil, the baboon had arrived. Albeit against his will, the Dean's grandson ogled him. Damnit. Not only he had a great and unique (very unique) personnality, but he was hot for crying out loud ! Was it these strong arms ? Or maybe these thick thighs ? Or the eighth wonder of the world that was his ass ? It could've been these insane pecs or the little portliness of his belly... Anyway SOMETHING was attracting Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey like hell.  He wanted to cuddle Liam like... forever. At least feel his strong yet soft body against his. And his damn hands. Big and warm ! Okay. Let's breath and stop being such a shame for myself.

"Dami ? Are you talking with the alien forces ?" asked the baboon, who suddenly stroke his cheek.

"What the... No. No." he stammered, now more than flustered. "I was just thinking about some stuff."

His boyfriend smiled. What a smile. Damn I hate him so much.

"Nate and I talked a bit." he suddenly revealed. "It's kind of clearer for me. He doesn't want to tell me for now, he doesn't felt ready and I respect thtat. He assured me I'm important for him and this is why it's so hard for him to talk... At least thanks to Archie, I know what I have to do now. I was so lost and pissed... I owe you an apology for my behavior this night."

The junior looked at him with amazment. This dummy was apologising ? Seriously ? Baboon, when I'll be used to all your cuteness and not affected by it anymore, I'll teach you how to be a little less sweet.

"You owe me shit." he retorted. "Nate is your bestfriend for a lifespan. After what happened to him, you have the right to be mad or whatever. And I'm the one sorry for having lied to you like that. I know we ain't dating for long and I'm already failing... I told you I suck at being a boyfriend so I guess it's also your fault for..."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was so busy talking, he didn't notice the baboon move. Liam embraced him with both arms and kissed him softly.

"Trust me Dami, you are wonderful and I'm not asking for anything more than you being yourself. You're doing an amazing job at this boyfriend's stuff and that's pretty normal because you're the best."

Okay. I wasn't expecting that at all. The blond lad buried his red face on his boyfriend's chest. What should I do ? This is so nice and so corny ! He needed a way to regain composure. To take the lead again ! Because there was no way, absolutely none that the baboon was consoling him !

"I'm sure you're sayin' that only for the pancakes." he finally whispered, not convincing at all.

It made Liam laugh.

"I'm not." he stated. "But the pancake definitely help your case babe."

Liam Saturday April 6

Nate grunted. Well, he was grunting a lot since the... The rape. According to him, it was because he wasn't feeling like talking. Anyway, so he grunted. Liam had learnt how to distinguish a frustrasted grunt from a scared one. Or, although it sheldom happen, an amused grunt. This one belonged to the last category. Well, the situation was kind of amusing to be fair. At first, they had head out only to go to the stadium, were the football team was gonna play soon. It was the only event Nate had agreed to come because Archibald was playing and Liam had insisted. So they were casually walking to join Nick, Colton and Dami when they encountered the witch. Which was why they were now hiding behind a low wall.

"How long are we supposed to stay here ?" asked Nate.

"Not so loud bro !" replied (not so discreetly) his bestfriend. "I swear, she'll kill us if she find us. Let's crawl over there."

The shortest lad rolled his eyes but obeyed nonetheless. He certainly didn't want to be killed by the witch. She's very persistent. But I'm getting used to her tricks now. They managed to move for ten meter at least before she decided to come in their direction. Liam froze, and held Nate next to him. First, I protect Nate. Then I run. (Sure he was taller and way beefier than her but she had magical powers, remember ?!).

"Do you need help ?" asked someone.

The chestnut lad raised his head and looked at the newcomer. She was a tall but thin girl. Her pale skin planted an idea in Liam's head.

"We're trying to enter the stadium." explained Nate before he could speak. "But we need to avoid this woman."

The stranger looked at the witch and smiled. These teeth... That's no good.

"It's manageable." she assured. "Come with me. I'm Jolenne by the way."

Liam was very wary but well, they followed her anyway. She led them in a dark path, apparently to enter the stadium by the staff's door. I can't let Nate alone with her. There is no way I let him alone with a woman anyway. His bestfriend had tensed up quickly. She was isolating them from the crowd, and he didn't like it at all. Neither did Liam of course. (He wasn't brave but for Nate, he would be ready to fight and get his blood sucked.) (Because yeah, she was certainly a vampire.)

"Here we are." she finally announced. "The back door, as you asked."

The two boys sighed, relieved. She doesn't want our blood for now. We have a lucky escape...

"Well have a nice evening." Jolenne continued. "I'm looking fowards to our next meeting."

They politely thanked her and went inside. There is something fishy about her, I'm sure of it. And it wasn't only because Dami asked him to be prudent around girls !

Their team won the game. Liam enjoyed it. He was with his friends and they all seemed fine. Even Nate. Besides, his boyfriend was there too. Sure, it didn't show much affection because they were in public but it was nice anyway. Dami had surely opened his heart to the chestnut lad since their trip in France. Now, Liam knew what kind of person he truly was. And yeah, because he's a succubus he's still sleeping around but it doesn't matter that much. (Liam is very open-minded). They didn't attend to the party after, because Nate wasn't feeling ready for it. So they ended up at Dami's place to spend the evening. The hero had already cooked diner beforehand, and Liam thanked him a lot for that. He enjoyed himself. He's so good. The food is so good.

"I know I made too much." Dami stated. "But I also know you eat a lot."

He was right. Liam and Nick dug in pretty fast. Everything tasted so terrific. The chestnut lad went for second, thrid and fourth. He would've eat more if only there were some leftover, but it appeared they had emptied everything. Liam found himself cozily sat in the sofa, his boyfriend curled up next to him. He was pleasantly full and happy. (Honestly ? Yeah his inner desire asked for more food until he was about to burst !). (The idea of a swollen stomach made him kind of excited.). The group played games until Liam started to feel dozy. The young lad didn't want to ruin the fun but he was falling asleep. His filling diner wasn't helping.

"Do you want to sleep here with me ?" asked Dami when he noticed.

Hmhmh... The tone was hopeful.

"We won't do anything of course..." he continued while blushing. "Just... you know... it would be nice if you stayed for the night and all."

"I would love to stay." assured Liam.

He liked this part of his boyfriend. The one unconfident and shy. I think it's super cute.

The chestnut lad woke up because someone was hammering on the door. At 10 am. Who was nasty enough to do that ? Even the forces of evil wouldn't be that mean ! The lad yawned and spawled. Not only he's a hero with amazing cooking skills, but he's so nice to sleep with... Dami had a soft skin that Liam loved. Not to mention, his little plumpness made him very attractive.

"Open the fuckin' door you dam brat !" a voice shouted. "I know you're in there idiot !"

The junior swore from the kitchen. He was probably awake for awhile now and cooking breakfast. Anyway, he arrived in the bedroom kind of... stressed ?

"My father arrived baboon." he mumbled. "You need to get out of here before he sees you."

Liam frowned. Wasn't he supposed to meet him ? Then he remembered how unkempt he looked. His messy hair, his loose sweatpants and his dazed expression weren't appropriate to meet Dami's father.

"Go by the window." this one ordered. "I'll see you later okay ?"

"Sure. Love you."

Liam didn't care that they were on the first floor. Leaving by the balcony what somehow very fun !

Nicolas Sunday April 7 – Monday April 8

< Imagenius : Late mb !! Very sorry Sav pls don't yell. >

< Abeautifulwomen : it happens a lot lately dude ! Was it ur hunter thing again ? >

< TheSavior : and here we go. >

< Imagenius : well yeah it was and it sucked !!! I tried to catch a prey but u know what he said to me ?! That I am too fat !!!! looool >

< Abeautifulwomen : he ? So a man ? Gays >

< Imagenius : Shut up fke girl. I still think u're an ass becuz u don't wanna tell me what the big hunt is about. I know the reward is huge !! >

< Abeautifulwomen : Maybe one day you'll understand i do this for your own good you idiot !! This big hunt is only troubles i swear >

< Imagenius : as if i would trust ya ! You lie abut being a girl so... >

< TheSavior : Okay now you guys will shut the fuck up with this hunt thing or god be my witness i'll blow a fuse ! >

< Imagenius : sorry boss... I'm just so frustrated... >

< Abeautifulwomen : sorry too... let's play to calm you ok ? >

< TheSavior : at least you're coming back to your senses. Let's go. >

Monday lessons were easy and Nick didn't pay attention. Honestly, his mind was drifting towards Nate and things related to him. The feeling of being powerless wasn't gone yet. Liam and I talked with him but it's obvious he doesn't want us to know everything... He probably doesn't want us to think less of him. Anyway, truth must be told, Nick was getting paranoid. They knew it was a girl who did this. And now, the dark haired lad was seeing shady girls everywhere. There was this "witch" Liam had talked about. She was following them most of the time. And I'm pretty sure she's trying to seduce at least one of us... She wasn't the only one. There were girls at every corner of this damn college. Nick was certain he had noticed Leila, Colton's sister, watching them from afar. But he did not know what they wanted exactly. I'm just turning crazy that's it. His own experience with the girls here didn't gave him a reason to trust them either. Their professor announced the end of the lecture. Nick was about to stood up but Colton held him.

"Dude maybe we should wait a bit before leaving." he smiled.

Liam was slowly waking up. If he wasn't sleeping most of the time, the man would've been one of the three top students around here, no doubts.

"Why ?" asked Nick. "Is there a problem ?"

He knew his friend : he was probably trying to avoid a conflict or something like that.

"Well... your trousers hum... split on your back." revealed Colton. "I don't want anyone to embarrass you by seeing it you know ?"

It led to a blank. Nick felt his cheeks burn. Well this is awkward. But it explains why I felt relieved... It was time to go shopping again...

Colton decided to come with him after their last class. Liam was heading back at the flat to see Nate and his boyfriend. The duo ended in a specialized shop at the mall. I didn't know this kind of shop were real. A lot of things were plus-sized here.

"You're not really that huge, but since you like loose clothes this shop will be nice." explained Colton. "Here, let's try these pants."

Nick looked at him, surprised.

"If I was smart, I would say you are a regular... " he teased. "Oh wait. I'm smart ! Dude how the hell do you know your way around a plus-sized shop ?!"

His friend smiled softly.

"My step-brother is on the heavy side too and we used to go buy clothes together because my parents wouldn't come wih him." he replied. "So yeah, I'm used to it."

To prove his point, he started to show Nick many trousers and shirts which suited him just fine. More than used to it, he loves shopping... He's boyfriend material. The dark haired genius would've been interested himself if he didn't knew Colton was hetero. Well, it didn't prevent him from coveting this hot stuff. Once they had finished, the two boys decided to grab a quick meal for diner. Nick thought it would be nice before meeting with his virtual friends who were annoying lately. But they bumped into Rebecca and Barbara right after they had bought their hotdogs. The petite blonde tried to ignore them, but her tall friend didn't.

"Hey neighbour !" she smirked. "Enjoying a snack I see ? I'm not sure you need it tho."

Nick rolled his eyes. Why was she so mean ? What was her problem ?

"I have something to tell you bro." she continued. "For the old times sakes. If you ever want a girlfriend, you should really lose that gut. You're so fat, that's disgusting."

She pinched his belly.

"I mean, Liam's padding looks kind of hot but you... This is just pure blubber. What a..."

"I think we got your point Rebecca." intervened Colton. "You and Barbara despise chubby people, it's your choice and we respect that. Now we're leaving."

He took Nick by the wrist and led him outside the mall. The poor lad watched the two girls laugh. Seriously... But deep down, he couldn't help but wonder. Was she right ? Maybe it was the reason why Theo had stopped their affair ? Maybe he was just too fat after all...

To be continued

Well, well, well... Dami has feelings. Cute :D

Liam is dealing with the truth now, and do is best to follow Archie’s advice. Each person suffering from this kind of trauma will deal with it differently, Nate has his own way to do. A professionnal like D.R is what they need to find these ways.

It’s the turning point for Nick. Maybe it wasn’t clear enough before, but he’s a bit of a social inept, and the opinion of others matter to him. So yeah, with time, he started to doubt his body, and now, he wants to change back.

[galaad-spectre]

The New Phantom Manor : My Theory

As many people, i first was in shock when i saw the news live. I expected changes but not this kind of changes. It was told the refurb would make the storyline more clear and tell more about the Ravenswood family. I tought it would came back to the original story with the additions of characters like Arthur Ravenswood, Henry’s brother and stuff. When i saw the pictures, i first believed it was family members but Tom Fitzgerlad announced it was Melanie with 4 suitors. I was disturbed by this because it wasn’t in the original plot and because it would ruin the romantic and tragic aspect of Melanie’s fate: She only loved one man and couldn’t be with him because her father dissaproves and later because of a terrible curse.

So i came up with this:

As you may know, Henry Ravenswood is the wealthiest man in Thunder Mesa thanks to his mining compagny. So his only daughter would be the absolute prize to have in marriage to inherit the Ravenswood fortune. She is also the most beautiful girl from many miles arround and Henry is overprotective over his daughter. When 4 men came to ask for Melanie’s hand in marriage, Henry Ravenswood dissaproved because, first, he tought none of them was good enough for his beloved daughter. And more of that, they could also be contestants to control Thunder Mesa. The only one we know for the moment (But i’ve seen the others pictures) is called Barry Claude. If you look closely behind him, you can spot some kind of ‘petroleum towers’ which he could own, and judging by his clothes, he could also be a wealthy man who wants go gain more by marrying the Ravenswood daughter. The men looks way older than Melanie so i think she didn’t loved them back. Henry killed them one by one, masking the murders into accidents (the bears and stuff). And she never knew what happened to them and didn’t really cared because she loved a 5th suitor. This one was poorer than the others, probably a miner and yet, Henry also dissaproved this one - especially this one ! At this point, the story remains basically the same.

Tom Fitzgerald called the men ‘suitors’ and not ‘grooms’ so it means Melanie never married them but in the ride she is pictured with her bridal dress - so she was about to get married at least once ! Like in the original storyline, the mining activities disturbed the Thunderbird Spirit in Big Thunder Mountain and that resulted to a massive earthquake that destroyed a part of Thunder Mesa. Henry and his wife perished in the disaster. After that, Melanie decided to marry the man she love anyway because her father, now dead, couldn’t prevent her to be happy and even leave the town afterwards. But on the wedding day, the fiance was nowhere to be seen. Henry Ravenswood, cursed, came back from the grave as an evil spirit and hanged the groom. The other suitors were already dead as their bodies are hidden in a mausoleum beneath the manor. It means he killed them when he was alive. So the fiance is the hanged man in the stretching room - which leads to 5 bodies.

The furious spirit of Henry Ravenswood, now called The Phantom keep her locked inside the manor, alone and forlorn to have lost her lover. All of this driven her to madness in the end. It’s even possible that the Phantom has ended up by possessing her. The “Will you marry me ?” audio has probably been presented out of context. We need to see the whole scene to understand - or this may be one of the few things left open to interpretations.

And yes, i’m upset Tom Fitzgerlad clearly stated that Henry Ravenswood is the Phantom because it removes all the mystery that made the plot interesting. With 4 new male characters, it would have been nice to let visitors guess which one is the Phantom and letting some clues trouhought the ride. I would have been ok if Fitzgerlad didn’t said this. If find this a bit weird, for a Disney story to portray a fatherly figure that is so evil. But i’ve learned something, not sure if it’s 100% true but there it is: When Phantom Manor’s reopening was announced on April 12 for the Insidears evening event, Tom Fitzgerald was on the resort to shot a documentary on the ride that will be released later. Disneyland Paris (don’t know who in the direction) nearly forced him to talk during the evening and it wasn’t planned. So Fitzgerald may have said things he didn’t wanted to reveal at first - i don’t know.

I’m waiting to see the ride in person to really make up my mind but i sincerely think this new version is not an insult to the original, the basic plot line is conserved. The ride needed a refurbishment anyway. A lot of the effects were barely working and didn’t aged well. The 4 suitors subplot didn’t change a lot of things to the original story. It just help to show more of Henry’s personnality. In the end, this new version of Phantom Manor may ties deeper his story with Frontierland. It was more focused on this link with the land that ‘the story withing the story’ - with the Ravenswood family, ghosts and stuff.

[floraldrizzle]

be more chill - friday june 1, 2018 at the bartell theatre

im gunna start this off by saying HOLY SHIT. THE CAST ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT. THE SHOW WAS INCREDIBLE. ALL OF THE ACTORS/ACTRESSES WERE SOSOSOSOOOOOO TALENTED AND DID AN OUTSTANDING JOB. FROM THEIR LOOKS, THEY RANGED FROM LIKE 17-EARLY 20S??? LIKE THEY WERE YOUNG AND IN TERMS OF BLOCKING AND VOCALS THEY DID AN AMAZING JOB!!!

-ok so first things first, i was sitting in the 5th row, 3rd seat from the aisle (amazing seat omg)

-they had live music!! the people on keyboard & bass fucking CRUSHED IT holy shit

-im gunna go in random order/do some general comments bc my thoughts are scrambled,, im so shook

-let me start by saying HOLY SHIT this jeremy was fucking INCREDIBLE. and he pulled off the role so well. his facial expressions were ON POINT.

-his whole demeanor SCREAMED nervous teen. this boi was TALLL (and cute af my bisexual ass was quaking) and he did an amazing job of looking very insecure? like he kind of tried to make himself look small? and he would pick at his fingernails too, and he really sold it that this character is a Nervous BoyTM

-MICHAELLL had a PRIDE PATCH!!!! IT WAS A RAINBOW HEART!!! and then in act 2 he had a headband with a rainbow heart on!!!!! and omg, his little dances were so cute. HE FUCKIGNG WHIPPED WHEN HE CAME ONSTAGE OMG

-AND THEN HE AND JEREMY DABBED IN SYNC AND I WENT INTO FUCKING CARDIAC ARREST

-christine was 👌👌👌 very extra and cute!!!!!! wow!!!!! I LOVED HER (again my bisexual ass was SHOOK) she was short so whenever she was talking to Jeremy she got out a little stool so that she was his height and omg

-she really acted like she had ADD and she pulled it off so well, like, she would shake her leg when she was sitting down

-rich was TOP NOTCH HOLY SHITTTTT he fucking killed the squip song like damnnnnnn

-the SQUIP OMGOMGOFJSJDKFJF SHE WAS INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT OK

-“you look like beyoncé.” “that’s my default form. I can also take the form of rupaul, lady gaga, and sexy anime female”

-the squip’s makeup was GLITTERY and blue and holy shit her costume, high heeled boots and trench coat and omg wow my bi ass was crying

-two player game. was the gayest thing I have ever seen. in the “is it really true i’m your favowite personn” michael like had his hand on jeremy’s face and jeremy looked nervous and omg it was so cute

-the harmonies in two player game were 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌there were tears in my eyes

-at “will you be too cool for me– video games?” the look on jer’s face was like “i would never” and he was like desperately trying to comfort michael

-Christine kept scooting her chair closer to jer in i love play rehearsal and a guy that I’d kinda be into it was so cute

-and whenever she did that Jeremy would do the thing where he tried to make himself look small and he had a cute little awkward smile

-the squip was the sassiest little bitch ever…. in be more chill part 1 she was sitting on the platform behind everyone and filing her fucking nails…. she did that a lot it was so fucking funny

-the smartphone hour was fucking. AMAZING. they had ensemble members in the aisles singing at people like “did you hear did you hear?”

-at one part an ensemble member looked me in the eye and during “when rich set a fire cause he knew he was gay” and I died it was amazing, the look on her face was hilarious I LOVE YOU ENSEMBLE GIRL

-do you wanna ride had me SHOOK, Brooke was INSANELY TALENTED DAMN,, and then when chloe joined I think my brain exploded

-have I mentioned that im bi and everyone was gorgeous,,,

-be more chill part 2, ensemble members surrounded Jeremy and at the “everything about you sucks!” part he flinched and omg my heart melted

-the squip. sung the low parts, she, was,,,,, INSANE,,,,, SHE WAS A FUCKING ALTO,,,, HOLY SHIT,,, I DEADASS EXPECTED HER TO BRING YHE LOW SHIT UP AN OCTAVE BUT NOPE SHE FUCKING BELTED THAG SHIT AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAYER

-upgrade. wow. holy shit. JAKE WAS IBCREDIBLE MY BRAIN EXPLODED, also, when jake and Christine were singing, the squip and Jeremy were standing back to back and it was so funny,,,, i loved it

-whenever Christine was around jake she would be so cute… like the interactions between them were adorable ngl

-during halloween party Christine was looking around and she looked really uncomfortable and then at one point she just ran offstage like she couldn’t take it anymore, my heart melted

-do you wanna hang was HOLY SHIT,,,,,, INCREDIBLE,,,, Chloe was AMAZING she fucking belted it i was blown away

-michael had the creeps shirt

-Michael in the bathroom had me IN TEARS. MICHAEL WAS SO GOOD. HOLY SHIT. THE EMOTIONS HE SHOWED WERE INCREDIBLE AND HE ACTUALLY WAS GUCKIG CRYING AT YHAT ONE PART

-whenever the squip commanded Jeremy she wouldn’t even look at him, she was filing her nails and sounded as if she didn’t give a single fuck. she was also way shorter than him even tho she was wearing high heels it was kinda funny

-also during smartphone hour, everyone had their phones out (duh) and some of them had a snapchat convo open that read “omg rich set a fire last night!!!!” and stuff like that, while others of them had a badly photoshopped picture of the guy who played rich standing in front of a burning house I was dying

-the pitiful children, damn,,,, everyone’s fucking costumes during it had me SHOOK,,,, the girl who sang the jenna part crushed it btw omg, she was insane

-when mr heere was like “DO YOU LOVE JEREMY” michael was like “wh- um what” and he seemed nervous and awkward and OMG

-the pants song was so good, the guy who played mr heere was 20/10 top notch great singer amazing actor wowiwoeowoeoeoeo he was amazing

-the play was pulled off so well. holy shit.

-at “MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE!” he was in the aisle and ran down to the stage, I shit you not the whole FUCKIGNG theatre cheered

-at the “get out of my way loser” you could hear a hushed gasp and “aw” from the audience

-voices in my head, omg, where do I start it was incredible

-Michael picked up Jeremy and spun him around. my boyf riends shipping ass was screaming

-hey pinkberry shippers:: chloe and Brooke were holding hands and being cute all throughout voices in my head

-Jeremy kissed christine and she was standing on her lil stool and it was so fucking cute. she hugged him super hard after and it was adorable!

-rich had a bi sash at the end

-a cast on his arm was painted the bi flag colors

-at “oh my god I’m totally bi” everyone cheered

-during play rehearsal, when Brooke was doing her lines, Christine was mouthing the whole thing and looking at her script it was so cute

-there was some HARDCORE boyf riends chemistry,, like,,, holy shit

-michael straddled jeremy when he was trying to get him to drink the mountain dew red

-this show blew me away

-because it’s just a small local theatre I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be this good but wow

-i might add more details later, i’m super tired rn,,,

[thewritingpossum]

You say 'ask me about my hatred for Rainbow Rowell', so now I'm curious...who are they and what did they do?

Ok, so I’ve had this thing in my blog description for litteral years and you’re only the second person who ever reacted to it, bless your soul, truly. It’s gonna be a super long answer tho so I apologize in advance if it bores you to tears. Also there’s some spoilers for her book Eleanor & Park in this thing, if anyone care about that. 

So Rainbow Rowell is a ya novels writer who happens to be highly popular around here (I also think she actually has a tumblr? I may be wrong on that point tho) and who was ever more popular around 2013 when she published her first book, Eleanor & Park, a love story between a fat, non-conventionally attractive girl dealing with abuse and poverty and a mixed race (white and korean) boy dealing with a bit of an identity crisis, all of that with a cool 80’s background. Sounds pretty cool, eh? That’s what I thought but…No.

First of all, this book is incredibly racist. Park (the half-korean boy) has a severe case of self-hatred and internalized racism. He wished he looked like his strong, all-american looking brother who even has an american name and is so much more mainly and can even drive shift (he’s supposed to be his baby brother who is like 13 but I get miss Rowell got confused with her own timeline). I don’t have a problem with that in itself: I can totally imagine a teenager growing up in a mainly white community dealing with that.

 My problem is with the ‘resolution’ of the problem: Park realize that Eleanor (the “chubby” girl) prefers asian guy and since obviously the marker of wether you’re worth anything or not is how appealing you are to white women, he magically get over his issues. Eleanor also spent the whole book fetishizing and otherizing the ever lasting christ out of her boyfriend. She constantly refers to him (in her head, to be fair) as “that asian kid”, “that stupid asian kid”, “that stupid, beautiful asian boy” and being sooooo into the fact that he’s asian (and has magical green eyes that are so different and non-asian but sooo pretty ). It’s very uncomfortable to read, tbh.

If you think that’s bad, wait until we get to her mother, who is quite litterally a racist caricature. Mindy (an americanized version of Min-Dae -which is not even an actual korean name, no more than Park but it’s whatever at this point) is a manucurist spoking broken english who gets compared to china dolls by one of the main character. She was born in Korea but was “brought home” by her american husband, a soldier who was stationned in her country (it’s already yikes enough and only get worst when you learn that Rainbow based that whole mess on a picture that she found of her own military dad with a woman in korean: I mean, I guess it’s your prerogative to write romantic fanfictions about your parents but like…The reality of thing is that there were no love story between american soldiers and the women of the countries they occuped and it’s time for her to accept it).

We also get two black characters, who are Eleanor’s best and only friends (only that she don’t really appear to give two fucks about them). They’re named Denice and Beebi, names that reaaaaally stand out in a negative way when compared to all white people’ names and they speak…Well, the way black characters in 80’s teen movies made by white people speak. One of them (I don’t remember which one) is dating a much older boy and planning to marry him after high school because that’s what black girls do, right? So yeah, I truly believe that this book is one of the most racist published in the 2010’s that I’ve personnally read. But that’s actually just part of why I hate it and loath it’s writer.

I also absolutely despise the way Rowell writes about abuse: a huge plot point is that Eleanor endure mental, emotional and (if I remember correctly) physical abuses from her step-father, abuses that escalade to sexual harrasment. Her step-father favores Eleanor’s sibling, including his own biological son but he’s also abusive to them and severely abusive to his wife, Eleanor’s mom. That’s some heavy stuff, and if you chose to put that in ya novel (or any novel for that matter), I expect you to be able to handle that sensibly and in a way that make sense, at the very least. I don’t think Rainbow Rowell even tried. 

Spoiler alert on how this book end: Eleanor run away from home, starts living with her uncle, the rest of her family escape a little later and her step-father stay alone and brooding in town. WTF?? The idea that abusive men would just be like “oh well, guess I have to accept that my wife left with our children and there’s nothing I can do uwu” is literally stupid. Either the writer didn’t bother making even the most basic researches on abuse dynamics or she did and chose to ignore it. And even outside of that…Talk about a deus ex machina and a cheap fucking ending lmao…

I only read another one of her book, Fangirl. It’s about a girl with anxiety disorder writing gay fanfics and was understandly popular on tumblr when it came out (i’m not hating btw, like…I’m a mentally ill binch writing gay stories so..). I didn’t found it as offensive as Eleanor & Park but her portrayal of mental illnesses was basic and often bordering on insensitivity (I really felt like one of the character’s bipolar disorder was treated as an inconvenience to other characters above anything else).

 Also, the anxious character spent a huge chunk of the book eating energy bar because she’s too afraid to leave her room and go eat in the dining hall…Girl, I’m supposed to believe you spend your whole time on your computer and you never heard of ordering takeout online?? Or just going to buy shits to eat at the supermarket?? How far am I supposed to suspend my disbelief to enjoy those books?

One last thing: a huge chunk of Fangirl is an actual fanfiction about some HP ripoff. Well, my homegirl Rainbow published a whole damn book about her actual Drarry fanfiction. I love fanfiction but I really think there’s something sketchy about putting a fake fandom in your book that’s very obviously based on an existing piece of work and then making money off your imitation but maybe that’s just me.

I would probably be able to chill a bit if Rainbow Rowell was not generally presented at this great representation queen who can do no wrong (and yes, I’m aware that she’s not responsible for the way people chose to portray her). Luckily for me, she’s somehow less popular on Tumblr that she once was and I get to have a break from her weird bullshit.

[c-bulletaftermidnight]

Ok I said I wouldn’t ask but your TFA answer was so awesome I’m curious - things you liked/disliked about TLJ?

Oh boy, oh boy

Liked:

_ Uuuh. Kylo becoming Supreme Leader and cementing himself as the true villain I guess since it’s interesting to work on it’s gonna the political & military landscape of the FO??

_ Kylo being shown off again as a good tactician when fucking up the Raddus.

_I’m glad Phasma’s gone. 

-Finn & Rey hugging at the end of the movie that’s it.

That’s it. 

Dislikes:

_ The worldbuilding has been fucked up just to respond to Rian’s whims when he have barely any explications about the context.

_ Fucking bad designs everywhere. 

_Boring cinematography except a few times. 

_ The fucking zooms-in and Kylo looking like he’s stuck in a washing machines when he barrels rolls around the TIE Silencer. 

_ The FO is suddendly overpowered with money and personnal. The loss of SKB has like no impact on the organization. This episode should have explored to their backstory but Rian simply didn’t care.

_ Everybody in this movie shut off their brains. 

_ Hux went from “officer didn’t had not much battle experience” to a total joke. His traumas due to his upbringing are ignored and his sufferings are reduced into supposed moments of comedy .And it’s not like Rian didn’t knows his past, he even gave him a first name. Hell he didn’ even bother explain Hux’s past to Domhnall and he discovered that his character had a first name when an interviewer asked him about it (Domnhall seemed pretty angry about it since he invest himself a lot in reserches and stuff for the characters he plays.) Knowing how Domhnall had to improvise the blaster scene, i’m sure he would have objected even more of Rian’s decisions.  His purpose half of the movie is to do Huxposition on the bridge, being totally incompetent and thrown around. It’s gonna be hard for JJ to repair this and have the audience take him seriously as a villain. 

 _ Poe, well, I never cared much about his character. I even tried to read the comics but I felt barely nothing about him. But I was hoping TLJ would help but instead they managed to makes me hate his character. The Poe/Holdo arc was badly written. There was many ways to make an arc like that make sense but also more emotionnal for these two characters. I hate how one second they makes him this macho man who keeps understimating lady officers but a second after, the female characters are “haha, I like him ;)”   Yeah sure. 

_Finn’s arc who is reduced as total coward and a joke and where war has to be explained to him (a fucking child-soldier) by a woman that constantly think about hurting him when he mentions Rey, the person he is close to the most and then is forced as a potential love-interest to him for some reasons. The DJ explanations are just bad (of course, the Resistance has to buy weapons. We knows that Rian, thx) The suicide run was also pretty stupid. Also the fact that him and Rey didn’t reuniting on the Supremacy screams so much Rian wanting them to interact as less as possible in the movie. Finn deserves better.

_ Rey’s arc. Can we even talk about an arc? Her character regressed. As if she didn’t dealt with years of abuse and survival on Jakku and as if Kylo never tortured her and hurt her closed ones. Hell she even get tortured twice in the space of two days because of Kylo. The Force-skype stuff feels so forced. Adam & Daisy only have good chemistry when their characters are set against each other. Rey talks about how she is scared of the Force within her but we see her then has no problem to deal with it and master everything in one second (rendering the existence of jedi school pretty useless like you just have to download the Force-powers of a master jedi and that’s it. The Force.exe is installed. ) The small training scene where she cut the rock looks pretty stupid, her sword fighting position is pretty bad during it. Going to the dark side has no consequences on her. She has no agency. Replace the word “Force” by the plot and you’ll see what I mean. 

_ Luke. Has someone who has to deal with depression, I think showing Luke as irritated and stuff can makes sense. I kinda relate since my temper changed a lot. I had a lot of patience & kindness but now, everything irritate me (from a member of my family intruding in my space to hearing the ringing of the phone) I’m scared to see my friends, I feel like a walking failure that I will never be satisfied about myself or will satisfy my parents, I just want to be left alone & if this lead me to die that way, then so be it. The problem is how wonky the writing leading-up to this Luke is bad. Everything is about to make us feels sad for Kylo (I don’t). Kylo’s turning against his family upon learning that he is the grandson of one of the most dangerous war criminal would makes senses. Luke blaming himself because he felt he failed to help his nephew after years of work instead of randomly popping his lightsaber would have made more sense. Luke’s grieving all his others students would make more sense. Luke attempting to reason Kylo after the massacre but still failing would make sense. Luke looking for a solution on the island and then failing to find one, thus made him feel unable to see his sister face to face would makes more sense. There’s is barely any emotionnal moments for Luke and the Final holographic showdown feels like they absolutely wanted to avoid Kylo to kill Luke directly (like c’mon, he’s been committing war crimes since the first minutes of TFA)

_ Kylo. TLJ is a bad attempt at Kylo’s pity fest.It’s interesting that his traumas are acknowledged while the other character’s are pretty ignored despite having a tragic’s past that should impact them as well. Everything is about him. Most of his actions are pretty villainous, he’s no grey character like people are trying to force us to believe because he looks sad. This is an humanized villain arc (which he didn’t need after seeing TFA), not a redemption one. At least he is now the main villain too, so there’s tha (But the “Uwu save ben solo” stuff going around spoil my liking of him as a villain. I’m not here to see whether Kylo is gonna turn LS for a third time in ep9. It would be too repetitive at this point) I just hate the “ You are truely Han solo’s son”line because it is obvious he is more like his mother. Only father figures are important to the characters in SW, it seems. Also the goddamn scar being moved on his eyes but it doesn’t impair his vision despite being cut by a freaking lightsaber. Like Rian could have gave us a legit explanation why Kylo was weakened & needed Rey to fight the preoatarians guards: Losing an eye would be an huge handicap tha het is not used to yet so he needed help to take the throne. 

_ Leïa is only here to looks sad and for Kylo’s momentarily manpain (and Marry Poppying around space). Like really, you reduce Leïa fucking Organa too that?? The woman ready to move time and space just for the sake of saving freedom? the princess of Alderaan who saw her planet being destroyed but kept up on? the woman who was mainly in charge of the strategizing of Hoth’s evacuation? The woman who was willing to stay on Bespin just for the sake of massacring stormtroopers because Vader gave Han away to Boba Fett & would have stayed if Lando didn’t pulled her off to the Falcon? The woman who had to face the galactic backlash of her being Vader’s daughter but still kept on? A woman full of anger but also sense of duty?

_ Rose, rose, rose… I was excited to meet her so imagine my disappointment upon discovering she was just here to lecture & push around Finn & being forced as another love interest that doesn’t even work. It’s like she forgot that her sister died the same day and that she should still be grieving. We don’t even get to see her use her mechanic’s skills in the whole story. The message about her character makes no sense between her last line in tlj and all the destructions she is willing to provoke (not all the ppl working at Canto bight are rich, has it show in the Canto Bight book) or let happens. KMT doesn’t deserve that. 

_ Yoda’s appearing bcos I hate this hypocrite of a gremlin and was expecting for Luke to dunk him in the sea. 

_ Chewie, the glorified cab driver.

_ The battles are a huge clusterfuck & the most badly written space battle I have ever seen. 

_The way Poe’s piloting skills feels to OP when you compare to other pilots, in particular in recently RO. 

_D’qar’s battle is a fucking tactical mess. Everyone has been conviniently dumb down. Same during the slow-mo chase. What’s even the point of bringing the whole fleet of star destroyers if they are just useless.

_ Bad infiltration scene on the Supremacy on the same level as RO’s one. I’m just tired of infiltration scenes in SW. Please stop that shit. 

_ The preotarian guard fight is a choregraphic mess that has no stakes for the characters. Everyone is just waiting for their cue and twirling around. It’s like it was shooted in one go. And there is a difference between Luke in ROTJ kicking a blaster out of the hand of a foe looking bad due to technical problems of the time. And a knife suddendly being edited out at the last minute because the mc would have die then

_ Crait. A good example on how not taking in account the worldbuilding that could be used in battle. So you’re gonna tell me that the Resistance decided to hide away in a base with no issue other than big metallic door in the front? Sounds like a good plan.

_ Leïa never taking command of the battle and strategizing and letting Poe deal with all that despite that she is the general that Poe is a demoted member of the Navy who caused a shit-ton of mess among the Resistance like 30 minutes ago

_ Hux is still depicted in a idiotic way & using bad tactics again. If this is supposed to be a movie about the characters learning about their mistakes,well it didn’t do its job.

_ What is even the use of the third cannon of the gorrilla walkers??

_ What was even the point to use these old speeders besides for being destroyed?

_ Rey shooting down 3 TIES in one shot seems to break a lot of SW physics. Her disappearing of the whole fight shows how much Rian didn’t care abt her character beyond having her interact with Kylo.

_ Y’know, I have Battlefront 2 and in the game there is mining tunnels on the battlefield that you can use to hide. In the movie they are not present, the whole Resistance sit dumbly in trench and just wait to be massacred. I was hoping those tunnels would re-appear in the movies & would be used to sink the walkers by bringing them down with bomb used for mining but nope. The image of walkers falling in a sinkhole, provoking a storm of red dust, coloring the outfits,armors and vehicles in red would have been pretty badass to see.

_ The ramming canon trained on like 10 kilometers instead of using the gorrilla walkers designs and adding to them the mini death-stars canons. They can’t use it all the time tho bcos it would need to cool down before shooting again. Aren’t these supposed to be artillery vehicles ffs???

_ The Resistance not even rigging their escape ships with bombs so if the FO penetrated their base, they can at least cripple them by exploding them. So much for a group that is supposed to be specialized in guerrilla warfare.

_ Talking about guerrilla warfare, i was expecting at least a pursuit and firefight in the mines. No use of the worldbuilding during battle scenarios once again. 

_ Leïa should have been the one to confront Kylo, not Luke. Showing her willing to fight her own son and dies during it for the freedom of the galaxy would have been a good way to send her off and building her as this strong, resilient, legendary leader willing to fight her own family for the good cause. It would have been a good middle finger to people who slandered her upon learning she was Vader’s daughter.

_ Rey effortlessly levitating these rocks. Showing her struggle would have made the ending scene more rewarding.

_ The news of the Battle of Crait spreading super fast despite that the Resistance official journalist, Suralinda Javos wasn’t even present during it for documenting or something.

_ Broom boy & the way it is implied that he might join the Resistance or something because of his Force-powers. A fucking child.Involved in a war. I thought Finn being a child-soldier was bad thing?

And I’ll stop there for now, because there is so many problems with this movie, i’m never gonna be finished with it. 

[emisfritish]

hi! i'm back from being MIA. i have been busy. my favorite group had a comeback so i've been watching a lot of their stuff. thanks for the list in the ask you posted! i like fluke as well. i think he's a great actor. as for the rest, i'm not sure i've seen them in anything. oh, so do you know when those shows are coming out? it seems that's all we've been doing lately, waiting haha ahh me? i'm a film enthusiast. i can talk movies for hours. what's your fave films? 😄😎 [ your secret santa ]

Hello secret santa anon !

I’m glad it was you being busy for pleasant things like a group making a come back, and not like you being super busy because of work or anything ! I’m trying to think of which group made a come back recently that you could be obsessed with... The only big group I can think of is GOT7 ? 

Either way, I hope you enjoyed it and whichever group you like came out with something good :D

Fluke is an amazing actor, so you have taste too :) Gun is also amazing and has been in some great shows both BL and non-BLs, and Tay is really good and basically has the personnality of a sunshine.

Okay so as for when the shows are coming out... We don’t have any official info yet, but here’s what we sort of know :  - A Tale of a Thousand Stars : Has finished filming, so hopefully it comes out early 2021. - Wish You : Has actually already started airing, is airing 2 episodes a week on viki.  - To my Star / Color rush : We don’t have a date for yet, but they tend to be short shows so I think we can expect them for early next year too :)  - Between us : Absolutely no idea, but I hope soon !

I’d agree that there are some shows I’ve been waiting for for ages ^^ But I feel like this end of the year has kind of been gifting us with so many good shows too. The one at the top of my list of airing shows right now is Cherry Magic, I’m really loving this show !

Also I don’t know if you saw but GMMTV dropped their trailers last week for next year’s shows, and I guess now I have a couple more to add to my list ;p 

OH ! A film enthusiast, so cool ! You may be disappointed in me, but because I’m kind of a TV show addict I actually don’t watch that many movies ^^ But my favourites are :

The boat that rocked

August Rush

Billy Elliot

What about you then ? If you’re a moovie buff, I imagine your taste in movies is way better than mine ^^ !

I wish you a great week-end secret santa, and I hope you enjoy the new music and that life is kind on you 💛 !

[pumpkin-lith]

*is also greedy* Paws/Fang with the even numbers (you choose whether you want to do canonverse or f&t au

Fang belongs to @marloviandevil​ I hope I do him justice. The F&T AU is the wonderful sandbox @kristsune​ and @thebisexualmandalorian​ shared with us, also known as the Happy AU with ALL THE OCs. Modern setting :)

2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?

Thanks to the obvious size difference, both in height and broadness, Paws is the big spoon.

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

Morning kisses on the mouth or forehead, it’s Paws. Kisses… elsewhere, it’s Fang.

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day? 

Mmh, I think Paws keeps the deep emotional thoughts for the late evenings or early mornings, when he can actually think on them. Strangely, for Fang, I… don’t know. Ask @marloviandevil​ !

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?

Canonverse, it’s either lower blacks or at best sweatpants, because they can be woken at any time for emergencies. F&T AU… well, Paws sleeps in his underwear. Fang crawls naked under the covers and snuggles for warmth.

10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?

Paws likes sweet&sour, mixed :) Fang likes spicy.

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

Paws is the tolest. Both verse. Fang is average-to-tall but, once you put them side by side… Don’t call Fang smol, though. Baaad idea.

14. Who kills the spiders?

Nobody kills the spiders. Paws shoos them outside. Fang glares at them until they leave his sight. (Unless it’s canonverse and the spiders are hostile, three meters long and tall aliens. Then both kill the spiders. With prejudice)

16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?

Nope, not scared of thunderstorms. F&T AU, they are the perfect excuse to stay cuddled up inside, though.

18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

Modernverse, cat person, both of them. They have four-and-a-half cats (because we’re silly like that, first cat was named Wolffe, stray ‘half’ ginger cat Fox turned out to be a she and left them with kitties Boost, Sinker and Comet

20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

In terms of personnality, no one. They are equals, and there certainly isn’t any cliché uke/seme theme here. Fang can turn quite needy once he’s turned on, though, mostly because Paws is a tease. Needy AND Bossy. 

22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?

I… don’t think they care much for the holiday, they celebrate important dates rather than a commercial one. But they are both utter saps so who knows. 

24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener? 

Paws can be quiet, but don’t get him started on subjects he is passionate about, he will not stop. Fang does it just to hear him talk. 

26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?

F&T verse, Paws is the most healthy person to ever health. Both know how to cook and cook well, but Fang will defend his special-days junk food. Or guilty pleasures like the pastries his aunt’s husband made.  

28. Who is the book worm?

F&T’s Paws was born because I wanted teacher!Paws for purely self-indulgent reasons. So, there is definitely a glasses-wearing Paws buried in a book. Canonverse, they both get lost researching medical infos on datapads for hours on end. 

30. Who likes long walks on the beach?

Both. Especially long walks on the beach with each other. Saps, the both of them. Fang kidnaps Paws for a deserved vacation at the beach each year after school ends.

32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?

They both talk easily, and suprisingly deep conversation creeps on them when they don’t expect it

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

Fang’s awesome, teasing aunt bought them the shirts. Fang’s says “If lost, return to my tall, hot husband” and Paws’ has the “I am tall and hot husband”. They actually wore them once or twice.

36. Who is the social media addict?

Fang. Addict is maybe a strong word, but he definitely is on social medias. Way more than Paws.

38. Who likes to star gaze?

*sing songs* Saaaaps. Both of them, next to each other. In canonverse, though, probably not. Not a lot interest in stars when you know most of them are systems at war.

40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

They motherhen the Pack in canonverse. Paws is the responsible-and-kind parent. Fang is the parent-you-don’t-piss-off but will also have the wild ideas. Just… don’t be idiots with them, or you won’t like the consequences.

42. Who is the neat freak?

Paws is a bit of a cleaning freak, in both verse, but Fang is very very organised. 

44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?

F&T’s Paws is that awful, awful person that gets up naturally early, goes for a jog, gets back for a shower and healthy™ breakfast while Fang is still grumbling over his coffee, walks/bikes to school, gets back, goes swimming/running/training, comes back with a spring in his step. By then, Fang has to sit on him to make him stay still.They both enjoy lazy days, though.

46. Who has the longer food order?

They… they both eat a lot. On the rare times they go for take out, they order a ton of things and share everything. They’ll do the full starters-entrees-desserts at a restaurant and probably still eat tea with biscuits once at home.

48. Who loses stuff?

I don’t think they lose stuff. Too organized. Except for Fang’s pencils, they somehow always disappear, but that’s the curse of pencils.

50. Who is the hopeless romantic? 

SAPS. BOTH of them. SAPS. 

For this OTP game

[amnachil]

To the Perfection Chapter 1 Part 10

Here’s the next part !

Thomas Sunday February 17 – Monday February 18

"This is amazing, astounding, fabulous ! There is a god among us ! His plays are incredible ! Muller is a real bless from heaven !"

Yeah, right... Everyone was celebrating Raphaël's team victory at Cody's mansion. And this damned presentator was making useless praises. Honestly, Thomas was only thinking about Dan. I wonder what he thinks about all this stuff... Does he ever get jealous of all the fame around big bro ? The young teenager liked the idea, but well... His crush was too perfect for this kind of things. I should just enjoy our evenings together, when he ends up so overstuffed he's barely conscious. I never expected to be able to rub his amazing belly...

"You brother really is something." smiled Cody next to him. "He's gifted right ?"

Thomas looked at him and smiled. You really are something : a fuckin' leech.

"Of course he is." he lied anyway.

"By the way, do you know what's going on with Ilhan ?" asked his friend. "He seems a bit... weird lately."

The ginger looked towards their buddy. He was munching crips in front of the telly. Each time he was taking a handful of food, he looked at it, and then sighed with weariness. Seems like he got used to eat a lot the evening now...

"What to you mean by weird ?" asked innocently Thomas.

"Well, he looks kind of sleep deprived ? Less energetic, like uh... more submissive."

Thomas's smile grew wider. Cody had always been observant. But that's none of your business.

"Maybe he's stressed because his grades ain't improving much despite my zealous help." he suggested. "I mean, I allowed him so much of my time... Look, we should show some benevolence and cut him some slack."

"Sure." agreed Cody.

"I'll talk to him and see what he has in mind." finally assured the ginger.

Well, to be honest, he didn't really talk about that. Thomas joined Ilhan upstair, and made sure they were alone. Then, he put an hand on his middle-section and smiled.

"Looks like you fed yourself already quite well." he whispered. "Can't wait me uh ?"

"Man what the hell did you do to me ?" mumbled Ilhan. "I just feel like I need to stuff myself !"

The ginger smile grew. For his own personnal pleasure, he had always be careful to feed his friend with high sugar-based and caloric food. He also made a schedule for the session, in order to get Ilhan's metabolism accostumed to the stuffing. That way, his stomach also stretched and get used to bigger quantities of food. And of course, he linked the bloated feeling and sexual desire.

"Thomas can you look at my eyes and not my belly ?" asked Ilhan. "You don't realise on what mess I am, do you ? My grades are dropping since I can't concentrate, I'm getting out of shape and I'm pretty sure Joël and Cody suspects we're... I don't even know what we are doing ? Are we a couple ? A fling ?"

You talk too much. Thomas opened a room and smiled.

"You should just enjoy the moment, Ilhan. Don't you want to have a good time with someone as wonderful as me ?"

His friend frowned. But he was completely under his charms anyway. And so they entered in the bedroom.

Thomas left Cody's home in the middle of the night. He wanted to spend his early morning with Dan before school. To be honest, I was only thinking about him, even while I was fucking Ilhan. Gregory's idea wasn't working very efficiently. Was it bad ? Maybe. But the young lad didn't care for that right now. He was almost home when he bumped into Darren. Damnit.

"Hello Thomas." smiled his professor. "You were celebrating your brother's victory with your friend I guess ?"

He nodded slowly.

"Well, I can't blame you to be up so late, or early, since I'm myself right here." laughed the teacher.

Yeah, and what the hell are you doing in the street at this hour ?

"Party ?" he asked more diplomatically.

"I was having a video game night with Dan." replied Darren. "Anyway, gotta go or I'll be wasted tomorow, I'm not that young anymore eh !"

Thomas watched him go away. He spent the night with Dan ? Now that he thought about it, his crush had talked about his long time buddy back in town... I don't like this at all. Dan is mine.

Dan Wednesday February 20

"Shouldn't you... urp... be in class ? It's 2 pm. Burp."

Dan slid an hand to his pants, and unbuttonned his zipper. The extra room he got from it made him sigh. His belly expanded freely. He lied back. Being sat was a bit uneasy. His eyes went down to the plate right in front of him. Two more slice of pie. He looked to all the empty plates around. Did I eat that much alone already ?

"I'm not skipping anything important." whispered Thomas. "And I think you need a little help to finish your meal."

The junior looked at him, amused. You enjoy this, right ? His friend was rubbing his distended stomach with expertise. It was very appeasing. Thomas suddenly put a slice right under his nose.

"Don't you smell that ? You want it right ?" he said genuinely.

Dan frowned. He was beyond stuffed, and nearly in a food coma. To be honest, he wasn't thinking straight, and sure, he wanted to eat that pie. He was just too much of a glutton to miss this opportunity. But he wasn't too groggy yet to not notice how much Thomas was into the feeding.

"Please... Can you talk to me normally ?" he asked. "I mean, I get you are taking advantage of my absolute lack of control over my appetite to have fun, but don't treat me like an animal please."

Thomas blushed. It was very unusual, but Dan didn't think about it. He was too focused on his belly.

"Sorry." stumbled the ginger. "I thought it would... help you finish... But if you prefer when I'm not talking I can just..."

"You can talk." cut Dan. "Just, be normal okay ? I don't feel at ease when you're playing a role."

"Sure. I'll be myself. Now, let's finish this pie."

The junior's belly let out a groan which drew Darren's attention.

"Man, you look stuffed."

They were at this one's home since two hours. They had been playing video games and talking about this and that. Despite his already gargantuous lunch, Dan had found himself eating snacks all the afternoon. I stayed completely bloated this whole time... It was more than a urge to be full : stuffed was his natural state now. Thanks god Thomas's parents were buying enough food to feed an army...

"Sorry." he said. "I definitely am."

"Well. I hope you don't mind gaining weight, because you're ballooning pretty fast." laughed Darren.

Thanksfully, it wasn't a jugdment, just a joke. It make Dan more conformtable. I really missed him. He sat up straight with difficulties. I'm not used to my new weight.

"Anyway, Darren there is something I would like to do." he changed the subject. "You know I have a boyfriend ?"

"Yeah ?"

His friend offered him a slice of pizza and a beer. You must be kidding me ? Despite his thought, Dan took it, of course.

"I want you to meet him. You're my best and eldest friend and I'm sure Raphaël will..."

"Raphaël Muller ?" interrupted the chestnut teacher. "Oh my god. You're in love with the God of Soccer ?! I can't believe it."

Darren looked astonished. Well... I know my boyfriend is someone famous. He shook his head for a moment, manifestly surprised.

"Man that's... woah. You want me to meet Raphaël ?"

Suddenly, he opened wide his eyes. Dan was too focused on his distended stomach to notice it, but a  glint of panic crossed Darren's look.

"What about this sunday ? He'll be back in town for a week."

The young teacher didn't answer. He frowned, but when Dan looked at him, he forced a smile.

"Sure thing." he said. "I'm sure it will be great."

Darren was kind of weird. The junior had left his friend an hour ago, and he was going home. Because he was stuffed, he was walking slowly, an hand on his bloated belly. I really need to watch what I eat... He had grown from thin to chubby fast enough. And he was getting seriously fat now. But nobody was helping. Thomas was more than eager to feed him. Darren and Carol were always testing his limits. And himself enjoyed all the food way too much. I don't mind having a belly, but I don't want to be completely out of shape... I'll be ridiculous next to Raphaël. A noise suddenly caught his attention. He glimpsed someone who was breaking into an house. No way... At start, he wanted to call the police, but he recognized the thief... I must be hallucinating...

"Shirley." he hailed her. "What the hell ?"

His sister stopped. She turned towards him and smiled.

"Hi Dan. Looks like you have enjoyed yourself."

"What are you doing ? An old lady live here."

"Yeah, I know that. Look, I just needed a roof for the night. You can't blame me for that, can you ?"

Dan sighed. She was completely out of her mind. She didn't care about the law anymore.

"Sis', I should be calling the police..." he looked at her. "Just come with me."

They walked in silent. Am I doing the right thing ? Thomas wouldn't mind the extra company for one night or two, but it couldn't be a long-run solution.

"You need to stop this bad stuff." he finally said. "You'll be in jail in no time otherwise."

"You worry now ?" she laughed. "You weren't so concerned when mom and dad almost sued me."

"And you weren't nice to me either." he recalled. "Not to mention you tried to charge Raphaël of a fake sexual assault."

She froze. For a second, she looked desesperate, and he regretted his words. But soon enough, she replaced her distress by anger.

"You and your Raphaël... You're so lucky he wants to stay with you. I mean, look at you Dan. You're an average student who barely managed to pass in thrid year. You're dumb, indecisive, and naive. And you're not even good-looking, my dear fat brother. When was the last time you made something good in your life ? Raphaël is a god, a famous player who is idolized in the whole country. How long before he finds someone way better than you huh ? You're here judging me, but you're not better at all, stupid brother !"

And she ran away. Dan looked her outline disappear, both shocked and saddened by her attitude. Why is she so bitter ? Her words crept in his mind. He suddenly felt awful. Ugly and stupid. He recalled Sam and Carol's words. Even Darren called his boyfriend the God of Soccer. Afterall, they were right, weren't they ?. Raphaël was the perfection among humanity. How the hell could he love someone like Dan ?

To be continued

Well, a part focused on Raphaël without the man being physically here.

Thomas got it easy, with two feedee who enjoy his company... (or do they ?). At least, Ilhan is obeying him for now;

Dan’s always been insecure so it’s not suprising he feels that way when everybody tells him how perfect Raphaël is. Now we have to see what he will do about it.