#Also got rick rolled by something in the game that was a thing

[silvermizuki]

I’m gonna start logging my subnautica adventures starting with this

MARK??

[heathermason6060]

Daryl Dixon x f!Reader Smut: Missing Matchmaker Merle

Warnings: Smut, degradation, minor alcohol consumption, unprotected p in v, NO use of (Y/N)

Summary: You and Daryl distract each other from missing Merle.

Notes: Wanted to try the idea of Daryl thinking he wants super rough sex, but he finds out he doesn't really like it that much when you indulge in it. GIF found from Pinterest from user vallie

Taking a hot shower was something you used to take for granted. But after arriving at the CDC and having the chance to not only clean, but sanitize yourself, you made every second count. You even fucking shaved. 

When you heard Jenner would also be serving dinner, you could've thrown up in excitement.

“C'mon, quit actin’ like a pussy and drink.” 

You rolled your eyes at the redneck's words, but shrugged and waved him forward anyway. He grinned in success and filled a cup with red wine, nearly spilling it on your chest with the way he shoved it towards you.

The shift in the atmosphere the last few hours had been remarkable. Not too long ago you were in the first stages of accepting your possible demise, standing behind Shane and Daryl as they fought to get Rick away from the doors. Now here you sat between Carol and Daryl, drinking some of the best wine you'd ever tasted, enough food on your plate to fill your stomach the way it was meant to be. 

You barely heard Daryl whisper beside you over the happy chatter of your group. “Watch, he's gonna turn all red, Koreans all got an allergy to alcohol.” 

You couldn't help but break into a grin at that, shaking your head in amusement. He looked too excited for you to correct him so you just chuckled, and tried not to fall from your chair when he playfully elbowed you in your side. 

The sight of Lori and Shane in the little library foiled your plans to read before bed. You only watched for a second, it looked like they were arguing, trying to keep their voices down despite their frustration. 

You rolled your eyes and turned on your heels, annoyed you'd have to settle on something in the rec room. 

As soon as you turned the corner to walk down the hall, you bumped into a chest so hard you lost your balance. Their hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, and when you heard that teasing southern accent you immediately felt your mood lifting. 

“That wine make you blind? You Korean too?” He snickered as he helped you right yourself. 

It was incredibly refreshing to see Daryl in that light. He was in a great mood, not drunk but buzzed enough to keep a grin on his face. 

“Fucking Shane and Lori's in there.” You grumbled playfully, crossing your arms in exaggerated annoyance. 

“Huh, what're they doin’?” His voice lowered to a nosey whisper and he nudged you back to peek around the corner. He immediately pulled back, bumping into you again, a look of disgust on his face. “Fuckin’ white trash. Actin’ like Rick ain't right down the hall.” 

That had you turning into a nosey busybody and you went to see what he was talking about, but he had already nudged your shoulder in the other direction to the bedroom halls. 

“C'mon, let's go do somethin’.” He didn't wait for an answer as he continued using his body to guide you down the hallway, reminding you of a sheepdog, which amused you to no end. 

“Like what?” You smirked as he shouldered you into one of the rec rooms. There were a few loveseats, bean bag chairs, a long couch and endless shelves of things. Board games, card games, sketch books and those really expensive high quality colored pencils, markers, you name it. You could spend the rest of your life in this room and die happy. 

“Hell, I don't know.” He shrugged and went to look through the shelves. You watched him in the doorway, your lip tightening at the side when you realized he was desperate to take his mind off Merle. Shit, you were too. You missed the fuck out of Merle Dixon. You'd grown extremely close to him, he wordlessly accepted your vulnerability of being the black sheep and Daryl related to it. They treated you like some weird adopted family member that one playfully flirted with and the other jerked off to. 

“Wanna play uno? I'm suspiciously good at it.” You finally shut the door and walked over to him with crossed arms, aware of the way he tensed when you got closer. 

“Uno? The fuck? Hell no.” He scoffed and aggressively flipped through the games on the shelf. “This is like some fucked up retirement center.”

“What'd you expect? An Xbox full of two player games?” You watched as he pretended to read the back of a card game box. 

“Psh. I don't know. Let's go fuck with Glenn -”

You grabbed his wrist before he could rush past you and laughed. “Leave the poor kid alone. He's gonna be so fucking sick tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, I guess. Threw up on my couch.” He muttered, remembering the way he'd had to drag Glenn to the couch in his temporary bedroom. 

“Course he did. You kept pouring wine down the kids' throat.”

You had a few minutes of friendly banter, suggested uno again, he suggested strip poker, you suggested skipping the poker, and soon you were grinding against his knee behind some of the book shelves.

“I want it dirty. Want it raw.” He huffed as he feverishly unbuckled his belt. “F-fuck, you're so hot.”

You grinned and leaned in to bite his bottom lip, earning a delicious whimper from him. You dug your teeth down harder and pulled back, feeling his dick twitch obscenely against your hip. 

“Want it dirty, yeah?” You drawled and kissed down his neck, switching between biting and biting hard. 

“Yeah.” He breathed and fucked his hand, clutching onto your hair with his other. “You think,” he faltered as you bit down on his nipple, his words spilling into various curses and slang you couldn't understand. “Shhh-fuck” His voice cracked in a way that was absolutely fucking adorable to you. “Y’think, you could, on top-”

“Yeah, I can do that.” You made your way back up to his neck, reaching to unbutton the rest of his shirt, but he stopped you. You didn't question it, you just sat him down on one of the loveseats and climbed in his lap. 

You looked over your shoulder at the door, even though it was shut anyone could just walk in, but Daryl grabbed your chin and forced you back against his mouth. 

You fucking loved the way he kissed. It was so hot and sloppy, his tongue diving everywhere in your mouth, licking every spot he could reach. When you pulled back to breathe, the skin around your lips felt wet, just another thing to make your pussy wetter. Daryl Dixon being so messy and dirty drove you insane. 

“I like the way you kiss me,” you slurred, your hands sliding up your pajama shirt to grope your own breasts. “Who would've thought you were such a needy whore.”

“Can you blame me, woman? Shit.” He thrusted up against you as he admired your form over him, your lips parted and your hair in your face, you looked hotter than every single pornstar he'd ever seen. He came harder to you than Sasha Grey. 

You maneuvered out of your pajama pants and slipped back in his lap, sliding your pussy against his throbbing cock. 

“Fuckin’ goddamnit.” He sputtered and grabbed hold of your hips for dear life. He rolled up in sync with you, nearly cumming when he saw the way his head would push through your folds each time your hips slid back. 

It was easier to get him inside you with you on top, you didn't need to worry about him slamming into you like last time. You took your time, enjoying the way he curled his upper lip in frustration, his eyes locked on the way his dick disappeared up inside you. 

“Fuck.” You drew your word out as you finally sat down on him, his dick sticking you like a skewer. 

You opened your eyes when you felt him grabbing your right wrist. He brought it up to his throat with no hesitation, a new boldness filling him that you didn't expect. 

You scoffed and laughed, the sound making his hips jerk roughly up into you. You obliged though, grabbing hold of his thick throat and squeezing. 

The situation you found yourself in was something you could easily get used to. You leaned back, keeping yourself upright with your grip on his neck. You rolled your hips in a way that served you, using Daryl's dick to get off. The way you fucked him was completely foreign to him, he'd never seen anything like this in the tapes he'd steal from Merle. 

You moaned when he bucked into you, and you had to take a moment to steady yourself. You released his neck and grabbed his chin, your thumb slipping between his teeth, holding him like a hooked fish. He looked up at you through his lashes and bit down gently, his hips rolling slower now. 

“You're a fucking mess.” You hissed with a smirk, looking down at your work proudly. Now he was the one who needed to be in a filthy magazine. His cheeks and lips red, his eyes half lidded and dark, his teeth bared and biting on your thumb. He was sweating like crazy and you were impressed he hadn't come yet, must've been the wine. “God I missed your dick.”

You weren't sure how it happened but soon you were pressed against the wall, your thighs wrapped around his back and his dick rearranging your insides. You couldn't moan even if you wanted, he was so rough and fast that all you could do was gasp in each breath, your eyes rolled back and your mouth hanging open. 

His thrusts slowed and he pulled back from biting your neck to nip the side of your jaw, making your eyes roll back to focus. 

“Slap me.”

Your words didn't register to him for a second. He lifted his head and furrowed his brows in confusion, although his rough thrusts didn't even budge. 

“C'mon, you wanted it dirty, didn't you?” You sneered, and a book fell from the shelf next to you when your head thudded back against the wall after a deep thrust.

He went to speak, but he only let out a long breath, and that's when his thrusts started to slow. “The hell you want that for?” 

You were caught off guard by the look on his face. He looked equally confused and almost… insulted? Hurt? 

“Cause it feels really fucking good. Hey, you don't have to, alright?” Your breathing came back under your control when his thrusts stopped altogether. 

You could tell you upset him. You slid your legs from his waist until your toes touched the floor, and his dick slipped out of you. 

“Hey, it's okay, alright?” You reached to touch his chin but he tilted his head away, no longer looking confused, moreso disappointed. 

You bit your bottom lip and thought. He was in no state to make any further moves so you made it for him. You pulled your clothes back on and took him to his bedroom, making sure to close and lock the door. You turned the lights off and laid him down on the bed before climbing on top of him. 

“I just wanna make you feel good, can I do that?” You murmured softly, sitting on his lap and stroking his cheek. 

That seemed to get to him and he gave in, nodding once without meeting your gaze.

“Just tell me to stop and I will.” You promised and kissed down his cheek, deciding against being rough with him the way you were before. 

“Never gonna hear me say that.” He snorted and intertwined his fingers in your hair, gentle, something you hadn't experienced with him. It was like a switch was flipped and he was a completely different man. 

Daryl melted under you as you worked him over with soft touches and kisses. You took your bottoms back off and took his dick back out, giving him a few strokes to get him hard again. You wasted no time in slipping him inside you, thankful there was little resistance with how wet you had become. 

You settled down on him, placing your hands on his chest to balance yourself, your fingers pinching the buttons on his shirt as a way to ground yourself. His dick sent you to other places. 

You fucked him slow, taking the time to feel and appreciate each time his tip rubbed against your sweet spot. He breathed noisily under you, giving the occasional grunt or quiet whine, his hands resting on your hips. 

Flipping your hair to one side over your shoulder, you leaned down and kissed him. You led this time, just moving your lips against his, slow and deep and without the use of your teeth, no matter how badly you wished to hear him whimper. 

He sat up and wrapped his arms around your back to turn you over, somehow managing to keep his lips on yours the entire time. 

You felt your muscles sigh in relief when he laid you on your back in the soft bed. You let out a soft happy breath when he slid his hands up your sides, content in just stroking your skin. He wasn't fucking you then, it was something different. If you were stupid you'd call it making love. He thrusted deep and slow, his hips moving on their own accord. Each time he plunged back in he'd exhale deeply through his nose, tickling the skin of your upper lip. 

Daryl was the one to break the kiss, he leaned back on his heels to look down at you.

“So damn pretty.” He mumbled, his eyelids struggling to stay open. If he wasn't drunk on the wine he was drunk on you and this new way of having you, a way he never even considered. This was it, he thought, this is how he wanted to have sex for the rest of his life. Swallowing each other whole, touching and caressing every inch of skin. 

His eyelids didn't feel so heavy when he saw you suck in a deep breath. Your eyes closed and you grabbed at your hair and breast, your head lolling to the side, your mouth hanging open, your face all twisted up-

You came hard around him, shuddering and gasping and whimpering as you enjoyed your sweet orgasm. It was so different, so drastically different from the last one he gave you. You didn't feel like you were on fire, clawing at your skin with your throat raw, you felt like you were being slipped into the warm black lake that was Daryl Dixon. 

“Daryl, oh my god Daryl.” Your words slurred in your mouth and he leaned down to kiss you. He wanted to swallow every little noise you made. Wanted to swallow your breaths, wanted to swallow you. 

“Ss-shh-fuck.” He bubbled against your lips as he came, forgetting to pull out again. He didn't give a shit anymore. He moaned then, such a beautiful noise that it nearly shattered your heart. So shameless, he didn't hold back at all, letting you hear all of it, all that you earned from him. 

He ground his hips into you well after you both finished, making sure every last drop of his cum filled you up. He buried his face in your neck and rolled his hips, his rough pubes grinding against your throbbing clit. You'd never come that way before, not without at least a little outside stimulation, the fact he made you cum from penetration alone changed your life for good. 

It was hard to bite back any further words. You moaned softly at the feeling of his dick still dragging against your walls, nudging against you each time in a way that was nearly too much to bear. 

You looked at him with admiration. He looked beautiful. You reached up and ran your hand over his short hair, wiping the sweat from his brows. He looked at you, something he needed great courage to do, and sighed. 

He couldn't think of anything to say. He felt ashamed, embarrassed, he'd been so deeply vulnerable that it physically hurt him. He swore he'd blow his goddamn brains out if you laughed or made fun of him. 

But you didn't, you just smiled up at him with that dangerous look on your face that had his heart racing. It should've relaxed him, but it didn't, it made the muscles in his shoulders tense. 

“Do you want me to leave?” You whispered as you stroked his cheek, fully prepared for him to go back to the same old Daryl Dixon you knew and tolerated. 

“Do whatcha want.” He breathed, finally pulling his soft dick from you. 

“Good. Then I'll stay.” You leaned up on your elbows and kissed his jaw before slipping into the bathroom. 

When you climbed back in bed he was pretending to be asleep. You scoffed quietly in amusement and pulled a thin sheet over the two of you, curling up behind him. You decided that wouldn't suit you so you turned over and wrapped your arm around his waist, nuzzling your face in the back of his neck. 

You kissed the skin there once before pressing your forehead against the same spot, closing your eyes when you felt comfortable. 

Daryl stared at the wall in front of him as he felt your fingers softly fidget with the buttons of his shirt. They soon stilled and your breathing slowed to a point where he could barely hear it anymore. Only then did he close his eyes, and secretly enjoy the way you held him. 

The next morning was awkward when you woke up and saw Glenn still passed out on the couch.

@ophelialaufey @carlgrimesgfofficial @theskinniestjackson-denny @dilfish-daydreams

[rinnyyyyyyyyy]

so tell me you love me.

wicked games - the weekend.

you and Carl get high, go into the woods and end up making out, one thing leads to another.

!tw - getting high, public sex & almost getting caught.

carl is 18 and so is reader.

..you were with Daryl, in the woods fucking around, scavenging..."the hells that?" you say, pointing at what looked like a house, you start walking towards it..until daryl grabs your shoulder and tells you to wait before getting in front of you with his crossbow ready to shoot at whatever. you get in side safely, and start rummaging through shit, until, you find some weed, you put it in your pocket. you didn't care wether Daryl saw or not, it's not like he would try to stop you. he knew you were a teenager and would still find one way or another to get your hands on it. "you find anything?" you ask, "....nah, nothin' good here..you?." ..you debated wether you should tell him what you found. "..nah. nothing good over here, either." .you two started walking back to Alexandria.

you were excited to finally be back, you missed your boyfriend, carl. and you genuinely couldn't wait to show him what you found in the woods, you were walking to his house. but on the way you seen his dad, "hey, rick, carl home?", rick looks at you "yeah. he should be there, you gonna go by?".."yeah.. I am" he nods and walks off, you get there and open the door, you start to head up to his room, you open the door and throw the pot on his bed.."you got paper, pookie?" you hear him laugh a bit at that. "well I do have some pretty thin paper? would that work?" he looks at you while holding some pretty thin paper "maybe, Its been awhile since I've done this. we could also use a can, all we need is a lighter but I got one." taking the paper and somehow managing to roll it.

"we should go to the woods, your dad could get here any minute, you know? besides, the house would start smelling." you look at him while licking the joint to make it stick together. "..yeah, sure. my dad would probably kill me if he found out we smoked inside anyway." you hum in response of that. you always thought rick would be more chill about that kinda stuff, considering you ARE in a zombie apocalypse. but once you started dating carl, that changed.

you two were in the woods sitting against a tree smoking away in silence. until carl breaks it. "you used to do this?" he said hitting the joint. "yeah, I used to take daryls cigarettes, until he found out." you laugh a little. "hey, carl." you say, "yeah?", you start to lean in him not noticing because of how high out of his mind he was, until you were right in front of him, both of your noses touching. you leaned in completely until your lips were touching, pulling you onto his lap, he kissed you. after a few seconds you pull back and say, "its still burning. give it here." you take it and turn it off. it hadn't even been a second after you turned it off, and he had you under him, pinned, legs entangled. his knee on top of your crotch area, you grunted when you felt his knee there. "carl!-" you moaned out, not meaning to. he laughed a little "what's wrong..? you were kissing all on me not too long ago." he said, pushing his knee down on him and leaning down to plant small kisses up and down on his neck, his hand running up the other males thigh and side. you'd be lying if you said you didn't like it when he got like this.

after a few minutes of making out and taking off each others pants off you hear something..or was it someone?. carl stops and grabs his knife from his pants next to him not knowing who it was.

until he saw michonne. he threw the knife to the floor with his pants, and got on top of you again. "..wh-" "michonne, don't worry about it. she didn't see us." he grabbed both of your hands and pinned them above your head with one of his hands, giving you a kiss.

"you ready, pretty boy?" as he spoke he was pulling down the waistband of your boxers waiting for you to reply. you gave him a simple nod, but he wanted to hear you. "use your words. I want to hear you." when he said that you took a deep breath. "yeah..im ready." when you said that he took your boxers off, and immediately pushed his middle finger in and started moving it in a circle motion. "Carl!- fuck!" you were whimpering out his name over and over just because of his finger. it made you feel unbelievably pathetic and desperate for his cock to be inside of you. "look at you..you look so pretty like this, baby." after he said that he pushed in a second finger and started stretching you out in a scissoring motion, truthfully, it hurts like a bitch, but it felt so good just because it was him. if it was anyone else you'd hate it.

after he finished stretching you out, he puts his thumb to your chin and taps it, "open, honey." so you do. and when you do he puts his ring and middle finger in, gently rubbing against the males tongue with his fingers. once he got enough spit on his fingers he put some on the males entrance while pulling his own boxers down with the other hand. releasing his hard cock. once he put some on your hole he put what was remaining on his tip and on the rest of him.

once he put the tip in he leaned down so he could kiss you, distracting you from the sting of his cock entering you. once he was halfway in he pulled away from you causing your moans to be louder. tears were starting to form in your eyes, from the sting. once he realized this he keeps going but speeds the process up a little.

"you're gonna be okay, it just hurts now but it'll feel better eventually, okay? just like the other times." he says wiping away any tears you had while you grasp onto leafs and sticks next to you. once he's fully in he looks at you for any sign that it's okay to move, "I'll start moving once you want me to, sound good?", you cant even bring your self to reply, considering what was inside of you at the moment. but once you felt like it was alright to move, you nodded. "you can.. you can start."

once he starts moving he starts off slow and gentle. him being settled on top your body, his hands at the side of your thighs, kissing and biting your collarbone. your hands scratching and clawing at his back, while your a moaning and whimpering mess. "cum with me, okay? be my good boy and cum with me." he says with little grunts here and there.

the slow and gentle pace didn't last long, he started being faster and rougher with you, your hands still scratching up his back because he's fucking into you so good that you can't think straight, you can't even make a sentence. all you can do is moan his name and be a perfect little stuttering mess for him.

as soon as you feel that familiar knot and uncomfortable feeling your back arches, and you grab onto his hair as if you're trying to tell him something, but it seems that's what it took to make him go over the edge. almost as soon as he came inside of you, you came on his stomach.

on your way back to Alexandria, you see Rick. waiting for you at the gates.

[stevespookington]

(part 2)

Eddie had people get cold feet about buying all the time so he just shrugged it off when Chrissy Cunningham wasn’t waiting for him after Hellfire and the basketball game. He drove home and went about his night. Nothing too unusual. The cash would have been nice, but also she had looked really rough, probably hadn’t need more things fucking with her system. 

The next morning Eddie headed out to Rick’s to pick up some more supplies. He hummed to himself as he strolled into the boathouse. Eddie had his system down by now, pick up some stuff, leave the cash, maybe relax by the water for a bit (it was relaxing, sue him). But just as he bent down to drag the tarp off of one of Rick's boat stashes, something tackled him.

He went flying backwards and slammed into a wall. A wall behind him and oh that was a wall of muscle in front of him.

Eddie blinked in surprise as he looked into the eyes of one Steve Harrington.

Eddie held his hands up and tried to look disarming, he knew how to handle folks on a bad trip. But instead Harrington just looked him up and down and stepped back with a ragged sigh.

"Please tell me you have a radio, Munson."

Eddie blinked, first he was slammed into a wall. Next he was just let go. And finally? Harrington knew who he was. Well, Eddie knew he didn't exactly have a low profile, but still. Having the former King of Hawkins High rough you up and then ask for a radio? A little confusing.

Eddie motioned over his shoulder and cleared his throat. "So I'm just going to, uh, go. You seem to be having a crisis and I'm good so..."

And Eddie was up against the wall again. Splendid. At least this time it was just a firm hand holding him in place instead of a tackle, but still. Not what he had been expecting when he left home this morning.

“Look, pal.” Eddie bit out, “If you are looking for drugs you got plenty to pick from here, you don’t need to push me around to get them. And no. I don’t have a radio.”

Steve deflated, head hitting the wall next to Eddie’s. And oh. This was causing all sorts of feelings that Eddie did not want to be having. He was so over his phase of crushing on pretty, straight boys. (He hoped.)

“Uhhh, hey… are you okay? Cause, full offense, but I really don’t want you all up on me. Jocks aren’t my thing, try to avoid them like the plague honestly.”

Harrington started to laugh, body shaking, hysterical laughter. That was probably not a good sign. He slowly pulled back, shoulders still shaking and Eddie watched as tears pooled in the corners of Harrington’s eyes. 

“Okay, I’m right there with you with avoiding jocks, these days at least. But I need to get a message to Dustin Henderson and I’m missing my radio, can you find him for me?”

Eddie raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “I’m not a fucking message boy, go yourself.”

Harrington winced. “Uh, I can’t. But! I can pay you, please.”

Eddie sighed, this really wasn’t what he was expecting when he woke up this morning. “Fine, what is it and where you think he is?” And! I get paid in advance.”

~

The door swung shut behind him, the bell still tinkling to announce his arrival. Eddie raised his eyebrows, sure enough there was Robin, Dustin, and the redhead, just like Steve had predicted there would be. All whispering furiously while pointing at the computer. 

Eddie cleared his throat, no response. 

"Henderson," he tried instead, a sing song note in his voice. 

Dustin looked up at that, hope sparking and fading in his eyes. "What." He said flatly.

Eddie sighed, he really should have charged Harrington double just to deal with Henderson’s attitude. "Friend of yours gave me a message for you, thought you might be interested in hearing it."

Dustin rolled his eyes, "We are sort of busy right now, it can wait." He turned back towards the computer.

Eddie shrugged, “Alright, but I’m not giving Harrington his money back so last chance-“

Dustin swung around, suddenly interested. He asked Eddie to tell him the message or something, his voice faded out of Eddie’s perception, he wasn’t listening. Instead he watched the TV screen with shock. His jaw dropped as he read the alert across the bottom of the screen “Body found, investigations ongoing.”

The news crew was outside Harrington’s house. 

[cultofdixon]

Welcome Home

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • The Commonwealth ain’t so bad right…? Maybe if he does what he’s told, his family will be safe. That’s what matters… • SFW/NSFW/ANGST • TW: Injuries / Pregnancy & Birth / Separation Anxiety / Scars • Ignoring S11’s canon

“You really think this’ll help us…going to the Commonwealth?” Y/N frowns leaning against Daryl as the two were sat on the couch in his basement room. He gently takes her hand into his squeezing it. “For us…it…Judith and RJ…Dog? What about Maggie? She’s not going…”

“We’ll give it a test run…see what happens and Maggie she’ll be safe. She wants to stay to help rebuild”

“We could��-“

“Need to think about the kids…what’s best for them, so it’s really if they’ll like it” Daryl squeezes her hand again then letting go and resting it on her belly. “Even if we did stay, I wouldn’t let yea do the crazy workaholic shit you’d do. Just know I won’t let anything happen to yea or them…yer always my top priority”

Y/N rests her hand over his for just a moment before shifting to face him. Gently brushing the hair out of the way of his face.

“Daryl…”

“Hm?”

“Don’t let them break you…”

•

Being processed was a lengthy and annoying process to deal with. Makes one miss Rick’s three questions. Now it’s like a game of 20 questions and a job placement. Daryl obviously being put into training for security and Y/N got lucky being placed in the farming district where she got to work with somebody she knows, Ezekiel. Which also meant Daryl telling him the news and to keep an eye on her when he can’t.

“This reminds me of my apartment from the before…just. A little nicer”

“A little nicer? I’m afraid to even ask” Daryl laughs a bit setting his pack down as Dog instantly went to sniff around the entire place. “Uhm. We’ll take the only bedroom”

“Unless you want the kids to have it and we’ll sleep out here” Y/N states sitting down on one of the mattresses in the main room letting Dog jump to her laying in her lap.

Daryl instantly scoffs to such as he moves to sit beside her. “Nah. You’re pregnant. And I ain’t letting Dog jump on yea in the middle of the night”

“He’ll scratch the door if you keep it closed”

“Better than stomping on’em” He states grazing his fingers on her belly as Dog nips at him. “I swear! You can’t do that”

“Guess he’s going to be over-protective over this one too” She laughs petting Dog behind the ears as Daryl pulls her into his side kissing her temple.

“Don’t mean he can nip at me” He mumbles giving Y/N another kiss to the temple before shooing Dog off. “Gonna check the rest of the place before gettin’ the kids”

“Be careful, D”

“Nothin’ gonna scare me in this small ass apartment” Daryl rolls his eyes opening the closet for a broom to fall out and spook him. He sighs annoyed especially when his girl started to laugh because of that. “You saw nothing”

“Okay okay…sure” Y/N smiles leaning against the wall still seated on the unmade mattress resting her hands on her barely showing belly. “I hope we’re safe here…” she whispers to herself.

•

“Y/N!!!” Ezekiel cheers happily approaching his friend that he’s missed and couldn’t help but hug her. “I won’t be too tight! I heard the good news, how far along??”

“Uhm. I think I’m reaching 4 months? I just got an appointment here…” Y/N laughs nervously as the words that escaped her made her anxious. This Commonwealth had a lot. A hospital for Christ’s sake! She couldn’t tell if she was more afraid of something being wrong or the doctors being monsters. Or both.

“You sound unsure…is Daryl coming with you to your appointment?”

“He’s in the training camp with Rosita to see who works well with who. Mercer told him he couldn’t go…”

“Then that’s settled! I’ll go with you!” Ezekiel smiles warmly. “I understand how strange this place is and I’ve been to their hospital a few times for my own thing, so I know the lay out and a few of the doctors. I’ll protect you for Daryl”

Y/N couldn’t help the hormones making her emotional enough to start sobbing. Ezekiel didn’t even react negatively to such, all he did was smile and bring her into his embrace.

This was weird. Really. Weird. Y/N hasn’t sat in a hospital waiting room since well. Y/N was in a hospital when the world ended, in a similar sense like Rick but not entirely. She kept her hands protectively on her belly watching everyone walk by. Security. Hospital personnel. Happy people. God…is it bad to have all this fear coursing through you when everyone around you is in good spirits?

“Ms. Dixon?”

Ezekiel was first to stand as Y/N stayed in her seat for a second longer before following his action by standing and soon following the nurse.

“Is this the father?” The OB smiles closing the door once Ezekiel had entered.

“No he’s uhm in security so he couldn’t get time off…” This talk felt strange…very old world.

“Well, I can always put in the good word for future appointments.” She smiles jotting that information down on Y/N’s chart. “But it’s also always nice to have close friends with you as well”

“I 100% agree” Ezekiel smiles letting Y/N get situated on the exam table and keeping an eye on her body language in case he needed to stop everything.

But before the OB could even get the gel on, Y/N took a hold of her wrist out instinct. Realizing what she did and let go immediately. The OB stopped what she was doing and carefully took Y/N’s hand into both of hers.

“My name is Erin Mathews, I was an OB resident in the old world and I’ve done my fair share of surviving before the Commonwealth found me.” Erin reassures Y/N’s anxieties slightly with the softness she radiated. “I’m not like the others in this community. Whatever you want, I’ll do. You’ll receive all the care needed, with the privacy you want. I won’t let anything happen to you or your baby. You’re safe”

Ezekiel was sold, he really liked this girl and Y/N relaxed just enough for Erin to finally get started. Erin not only made a note to get her husband to have the time off for these future appointments but also in case of emergency to have Ezekiel’s name jotted down.

The sound of the baby’s heartbeat pulled Y/N out of every negative thought she stirred up when Erin first put the ultrasound wand on. Her attention hasn’t left the screen once Erin pushed it over for them to see.

“Daryl is going to lose it when he sees this for himself” Ezekiel smiles holding the picture of the ultrasound as the two walk back to the living quarters. “Hell! Another piece to the future coming in five months!” He happily handed the picture back seeing his friend start to tear up again. “Oh Y/N…”

“It’s just…u-unbelievable. I-I can safely have this baby.” She continued to sob happily bringing herself into Ezekiel’s embrace. “Daryl doesn’t have to worry about anything going w-wrong and having n-n-nothing to do about it”

“You’re safe here, Y/N. And we all know Daryl Dixon will make sure of it”

And boy does he.

Daryl came back after a long and rather annoying day to hearing humming from the other part of the apartment. He quietly approaches the small kitchenette watching his partner work away at making dinner with what she could get. Mainly groceries Ezekiel gave her given their small family just arrive and haven’t had money come in yet.

“You seem happy”

Y/N flinches slightly causing Dog who was trailing her to start sniffing her in case of anything. Once she relaxed, she gave Daryl a small smile before continuing to cook.

“I am”

“Uh. How was the…doctor’s appointment?” Daryl asks on his way over to Y/N’s side bringing his arm around her as she went into her back pocket to take out the small pictures.

It didn’t take long for Daryl to get a hold of the picture himself as Y/N noticed the man started to stare at it. He wouldn’t move or look away.

“They’re healthy. The doctor was really nice too…she said she might be able to get you—-“ Y/N was cut off by Daryl suddenly hugging her, tightly but of course not too tight. She brought her arms around him hearing the soft sniffles that escaped him. “Oh Daryl…”

“Baby’s healthy, you’re healthy…y’all are gonna be okay” Daryl sobs holding onto his woman as his anxiety was toward what happened years back. A part of him will always be haunted by what happened to Lori, especially when his partner is pregnant. But now he doesn’t have to fear in its entirety of what could happen.

He can relax a little…

•

“I have arrived, and with good company” Carol smiles letting herself in with Rosita following shortly behind as Coco was with Eugene for the evening.

“It’s been a minute since it was just us. Have you heard anything from Maggie about Alexandria?”

“They are doing good with rebuilding. The commonwealth is actually helping instead of what we feared when we first arrived here” Rosita sets down dinner she had picked up from one of the services for free prepared meals as she made sure to grab something Y/N will enjoy. “Soooo…do you guys know what you’re having?”

“Oh please tell me you’re not keeping it a secret! I keep trying to ask Daryl when I see him but the man keeps brushing me off” Carol scoffs slightly as she watches Y/N slowly take a seat on the couch.

“Daryl doesn’t know”

The two quickly share a glance before bringing themselves closer hoping Y/N would budge but she looked as if she wanted Daryl to know first. But fucking hell she can’t keep it to herself for long.

“It’s a girl but you can’t tell D until I do!” She almost shouts out as Carol immediately hugs her friend while Rosita screams from excitement herself.

“Oh you better tell Daryl soon! We have a bet going on!”

“Rosita!”

“They ain’t the only better floating. But wait before you tell Ezekiel. He won and I have to make a dozen cookies for pay up” Carol laughs with the two.

As girls night comes to a close and Y/N found herself laying in bed staring up at the ceiling. She was both missing Daryl and the kids, but also missing those from the past. Most nights since being in the Commonwealth lead her to reminisce and feel slightly bad because those she lost deserved the luxury of this place…it was a lot to think about all in one night.

Lost in her own thoughts she didn’t hear the door open which meant Daryl’s return. The kids were with Ezekiel for the evening because of girls night and he’d bring them back after school the next day. A whole other phenomenon to think about.

Daryl came into the bedroom about to rip off his armor but couldn’t help himself when spotting Y/N and bringing himself over to her. Kissing her belly gently, drawing her from her thoughts as she smiles warmly toward him.

“Is it already that late?”

“That I’m home? Mhm” Daryl sat on the edge of the bed watching Y/N slowly bring herself to sit up as her center made it difficult to do so. “How was…girls night?”

“Good. There’s leftovers if you’re hungry.” Y/N smiles watching Daryl rest his hand on her belly gently, he started to do this more in hopes he’d feel the little one given he missed all the other times she had called him to feel. “You know…I know what we’re having” and that instantly made the archer lock eyes with her in a bit of excitement.

“Yea gonna make me guess or gonna tell me?”

“Hm. I kinda wanna make you guess. But I’m also an impatient person”

“Ain’t that the truth” Daryl laughs slightly as he suddenly felt it. The smallest kick against his hand as he was now fixated on the small movement. He brought himself to completely turn toward his partner bringing both hands onto her belly. “It’s always these moments that I finally get to experience these great things”

“Mm. You’ll be around more when she arrives, you’ll make sure of it”

“Fuck yeah I will—-HEY!” Daryl exclaims looking up at Y/N seeing her smile even wider. “A girl?! Ha! I lost a bet and won one”

“Why are you betting on the gender of our baby?”

“Cuz…it’s a 50/50 chance” Daryl brought himself low enough to kiss her belly once more before finally getting up and getting out of his armor. “Better get comfy, I ain’t letting yea go tonight”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way”

•

The closer she got to a presumed due date the more anxious and nesty she became. But the other thought on her mind was what home was. Y/N wasn’t working once she got to eight months, because she was given leave and Ezekiel would force her out of the farming area every chance she wanted to get away from being confined to the apartment.

“Yknow how you started to nest when you were carrying Coco?”

“Why are we talking about this when I’ve talked about it with Y/N?” Rosita smiles followed with a short lived laugh as the two were at their stations for that shift. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t entirely know. The scary ass books Carol made me read are like. They start getting the home ready for a baby and start to nest. But Y/N has everything in a closet. Hasn’t really arranged anything or asked me to do anythin’”

“You think she wants to stay here?”

“What do yea mean?”

“Alexandria is back on its feet and from the reports done by Maggie? Commonwealth is starting to remove themselves from the place since they can hold their own again. You think Y/N would…want to go home?”

Returning back to the apartment Daryl hasn’t stopped thinking about such. This place was perfect, but he doesn’t want to force his partner to stay here and granted he’s always had mixed feelings about his job. The old world within this new one always felt weird and they were allowed to leave whenever as long as someone was notified. The one thing he really wants though is the hospital…in case anything happened. He couldn’t lose any of them.

He was greeted by Dog when he first opened the door before being hugged by Judith immediately. That was another thing, this place is confirmed safe. Safe for them.

But he didn’t want to force anything…

“You’ve seen—-“

“She’s laying down. Told me to tell you when you got back”

“Where’s RJ?”

“In our room. Is Aunt Carol coming over for dinner again?”

“Yeah, she’ll be here in a bit. How about you and your brother get ready while I check on Y/N?”

“Okie dokie” Judith smiles up at her uncle before pulling away to go do such as Daryl makes his way to their bedroom.

Daryl quietly opens the door finding Y/N fast asleep holding her belly protectively as he enters the room trying his best to remain quiet. He gently shuts the door behind him and went ahead with removing his boots before climbing into the bed with her. The smallest movement stirring her slightly as she tiredly looks at Daryl.

“Hey…”

“Hey yourself” He whispers laying beside her facing toward her. “You feelin’ alright?”

“Mhm. Back hurts” Y/N rubs a bit of the sleep from her eyes but she wasn’t in any mood to get up. “When’s Carol coming…?”

“Soon. She’s bringing dinner. I don’t gotta burn shit again” He laughs quietly watching her tiredly smile in response. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“Do you wanna go back to Alexandria?”

That’s when she fully opened her eyes looking at Daryl with a bit of a confused look on why he’d ask such.

“I…I’m not sure”

“We can. If you don’t like it here, we can always go back”

“But…Uh.” Y/N couldn’t find the words, she wanted to blame pregnancy brain but it was more so…if he likes it here, thinks we’ll be safe here…she doesn’t want to ruin it for him.

“Y/N. You know all I want from yea is to be safe right? Wherever we are. I need yea, the peanut, the kids…just safe.”

“D…I want the baby here, because they can…handle whatever may happen” okay… “But I don’t feel at home here”

“I get that. I get that entirely”

“You’re…not mad?”

“Why would I be? This was a fresh start, yeah. But it felt weird…not being in a place we built and protected together. Yeah we needed the commonwealth to help us back on our feet. But I was never gonna force you to stay here if you aren’t happy”

“I just…I miss our home. The one we built back up after the Saviors War. The one we let so many people stay in when they needed a place to stay. I want to raise our little girl there”

Daryl couldn’t help his small smile when hearing her say such. He brought himself closer to her wrapping his arm around her as she tried to get as close as humanely possible even with the bump in the way. He presses his lips against her forehead hearing her hum happily.

“Once you and the peanut are well enough…We’ll go home” He smiles as he whispers to her knowing very well she was becoming less anxious when he spoke. “You, me, Jude, RJ, Dog and the peanut. Will be home soon before you know it”

•

The gates to Alexandria quietly opened as Judith and RJ instantly ran through, immediately being engulfed in Maggie’s embrace and then her son Hershel’s. Aaron even brought himself and Gracie over to reunite with the few. Dog instantly followed after the kids keeping up with them and making sure they were safe like always.

Then Daryl came next, with Carol who wanted to be with her family always. She took care of bringing their stuff back within the familiar walls of their home. He waited patiently for Y/N to join him at his side feeling his arm find purchase around her waist as she carefully moves the blanket out of the way of their little girl that was fast asleep in her mother’s embrace.

“Welcome home, Robin”

[bouncybongfairy]

Halloween Night Part 2

Evil Morty x Bimbo Reader

Summary: Halloween was over and you plan on spending ThanksGiving break at Morty's house. This is when you notice that Morty's aggression is at an all time high and you're not sure what to do about it. You choose to ignore this but end up finding out about his troubling past and future plans.

(This fanfic contains smut) (This Fanfic contains spoilers for Rick and Morty season 7) (Both characters are aged up to 18, you both are seniors in highschool in this story.)

Word Count: 4.5k+

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Halloween had come and gone, and fall was really starting to set in. Most of the leaves had fallen from their branches and every morning felt like the dead of winter. Like there weren’t enough blankets in the house to keep you warm at night. You and Morty were still doing well, but there was something different about Morty that you couldn’t put your finger on. Morty seemed to be on edge more, lashing out about random things. Never at you or anything but for example, you’d be in his room and he’d die in his game and just go ballistic. Or come to your window at night fuming from a fight he’s gotten into with his dad. You’d even asked him once if there was anything bothering him but he brushed it off. At that point, you chalked it up to the stress of being a senior, SATs, college applications, prom, etc. Luckily, thanksgiving break is right around the corner and you were staying at Morty's house. Your mom had an out-of-state business trip that she couldn’t get off and your dad was celebrating with his new fuckass family. You were super excited, missing your mom was gonna suck but you loved Morty and were really looking forward to spending so much time with him. 

When you told your friend group about the whole ordeal, they freaked out. Asking if you were prepared and they didn’t only mean packed but also physically. You wanted everything to be perfect while you were staying with the Smith’s. A couple of your girlfriends spent the day with you while you ran around doing errands. Getting your nails done, waxed, and picking up toiletries. You were quite lucky because your mom was feeling guilty about not being there for the holidays. This made her quite… generous if that makes sense. After getting home and packing all your bags, you began getting nervous. Triple-checking to make sure you didn’t miss anything. You zipped your bag up and brought it downstairs, sitting on the couch and waiting for Morty.

 It seemed like an eternity until you finally got the text that he was outside. You grabbed your stuff and made your way outside, he was sitting in the car. A blunt hanging out of his mouth, all the windows were rolled down. He got out of the car and grabbed your bag, setting it in the back seat. He gave you a kiss on the back of your hand before driving back to his house. 

Once you arrived, you went straight to his room. Even when you were just spending a couple of hours at his house, you never strayed from his room. It didn’t bother you necessarily, more of an observation. You were currently lying down together on his bed, talking about the plans you have for the week. 

“How does your family normally celebrate Thanksgiving?” you asked. 

“My dad makes everything and we just kinda sit around the table and eat, nothing extravagant,” he said. 

“I can help your dad, I make really good mashed potatoes,” you giggled, Morty chuckled and held the blunt in front of your lips. Allowing you to take a hit without readjusting your position. 

The first night was really nice, just cuddling while watching TV. It was dark and the soft glow of the television illuminated both your faces. It was momentary bliss, just how you imagined tonight to go. Because Morty was so… cold at times it made the moments where he was sweet and caring that much more special. When he would kiss your forehead or pull you closer as you cuddled. Especially when he would look down and smile at you, he rarely smiled and every time he did it made you melt. There was something that was off, lately when it came to intimacy, he was quite rough; more so than usual. At first, it was little things, like pulling your hair a little harder or squeezing her throat a little tighter than normal. You didn’t necessarily do a bad thing, it was just different. You know when you can’t quite decide if you like a certain food or not? That’s how it felt, kinda, not exactly. The first night you spent the night was the first time you’d done anything intimate during your stay. It was like he just went feral, and ended up biting your shoulder so hard it broke skin. You screamed so loud you were embarrassed that everyone in the house could hear you. Even though it did hurt and scare you, it was like an internal conflict whether you liked it or not. It felt primal and you liked that but you were more worried about mental health.

The next morning, you woke up first and started picking up the room a little. Differentiating the dirty yellow shirts from the clean ones. Once you were done, crawled back in bed, waking Morty up by kissing his forehead and rubbing his back until he started stirring awake. You guys lay there for a while, embracing each other underneath the covers. The first thing he did was sit up and start rolling, he did this every morning. You lay with your head in his lap, fighting the urge not to fall asleep. He asked you if there was anything specific you wanted to do today. There wasn’t, you just wanted to be with him. 

“You want to go to the mall?” he asked, setting the rolling tray on his bedside table. 

“Only if we can go to Auntie Anne’s,” you said, sitting up and kissing him on the cheek.

“Let’s shower,” he said, getting up to grab clothes. 

It wasn’t anything erotic or even sexual, you both were genuinely washing your hair and body. After both of you finished washing up you just embraced each other in the hot water. Running your hands up and down his back, his cheek was resting on top of your head. It was moments like this that made you think his being more aggressive was just because of stress. The water began to run cold and both of you made your way back to his room. He sat down on his bed, not even bothering to change out of the towel that was wrapped around his waist. You set up your towel in front of the closet door mirror and started doing your make-up. Watching him in the mirror, as he ghost inhaled a thick yellow cloud of smoke. You admired his side profile and the hint of muscle tone in his arm when he ashed the blunt. It didn’t take you long to finish getting ready. You tried to be as speedy as possible, you were looking forward to a frozen strawberry lemonade. He surprised you when you turned around and he was wearing a black shirt, on the right side there was a gold M symbol but the middle was elongated. You complimented him on his change of pace which made him smile. Every time he did you felt like you were winning an unspoken game. The ride to the mall was so nice, it was cold outside so he cranked the heater on. Using one hand to steer and the other to hold hands. 

It ended up being a really nice trip, the mall was already completely decorated to celebrate the Christmas season. You both walked hand in hand around the mall. It surprised you when he pulled out an extremely thick wad of cash from his pocket. You knew he sold weed and k-lax crystals but the wad was mostly 100 bills. It just seemed like a suspicious amount of money but at the same time you weren’t complaining. A little concerned but not to the point of bringing it up. However you were getting kind of nervous about how much stuff he was buying you, it was like he was encouraging, no, almost daring you push the limit. Spending hundreds of dollars on whatever you pointed to. You were looking for a dress to wear on Thanksgiving night. You ended up finding a thick black and gray striped mini dress. It was long sleeved and went well past your hands, the material was really soft feeling cotton. When you tried it on in the dressrooming, immediately you ruled it out as an option because of how short it was. Morty however objected, he was sitting on a cushioned bench. He had his elbows resting on his knees and his hands were interlocked and he was leaning forward. You were looking at his facial expression, he wasn’t looking at you with just lust, it was more like he was going to attack. 

“I think you look fucking amazing. Holy shit are gonna fucking get it?” he asked which made your face flush a deep red. 

Of course you ended up buying it, I mean how could you not after seeing his reaction. After you guys spent all day at the mall, it was time to head out. Immediately, you noticed the vibe was completely different. Morty was driving really fast, this was not necessarily out of the ordinary but he was weaving in and out of traffic. Bulls in The Bronx playing so loudly, the lyrics were becoming drowned out by sound. You started nervously squirming in your seat, looking over at him, he only had one hand on the steering wheel. When he pulled off the freeway exit, instead of slowing down he sped up and nearly drifted through the next right turn they made. The tires screeched and the smell of burning rubber came into the car. It was dark and kind of late so there weren't many cars on the road but it still scared the shit out of you. 

And I don’t wanna wait for the down-set date 

Gripping on to the seat of the car so tightly it pulled painfully at your acrylic nails. Suddenly, he pulls out onto a dirt road that's near the house. The way he was so calm and nonchalant about how reckless he was being was turning you on. You opened the glove box and pulled out the blunt he’s rolled and stashed. At first you struggled lighting it because of all the wind coming in from the windows but you eventually got it going. He was doing donuts and even then, his face never changed. Never showing any signs of fear or panic, it made you feel safer than you probably were. He took the blunt from you, taking a few puffs before turning his full attention back to the wheel. 

Cause’ I would rather end it all tonight

He was now going up a steep incline, you grabbed onto his shirt and were saying his name but the music was so loud that even if you were to scream it wouldn't make a difference. You looked over at him and he looked so nonchalant, blunt hanging off his lips. One hand was still gripping your thigh, you tried moving it so he could have both on the steering wheel but he just held on tighter. He then started reversing which scared the ever loving shit out of you. Out of instinct, you pull your knees to your chest. Because his hand was resting on your thigh it was now pressed against your chest. He handed the blunt back to you and smirked at your reaction. Pulling a three point turn so fast, you truly thought you were going to crash. He joked saying he was offended that you didn’t trust him and kissed your cheek once you were on a more stable part of the incline. Maybe it was because you were stoned but you couldn’t have found him more attractive than this moment.

And if I mean anything to you, I’m sorry but I’ve made up my mind.

After about 20 more minutes of this, they finally made their way back to Morty’s house. The sun was setting and you were feeling euphoric, like everything in life was momentarily perfect. Neither his mom or dad were home and you hadn’t seen Rick around in weeks. Summer had moved out to attend college, meaning they had the entire house to themselves. You had Morty by the hand and started tugging him upstairs. Not even bothering to close the bedroom door, you start pulling your clothes off. You got on your knees and started undoing his belt, he took the portal gun out of the waistband of his jeans and helped you kick them off. He was stroking your cheek with his thumb as you rub your bottom lip against his tip. He smirked slightly and moved his other hand to rest on top of your head. You take him into your mouth; he tangles his fingers through your hair and shoves your head down to take him fully into your mouth. You dug your fingernails into his thigh and shot him a death glare. He looks down at you and chuckles at your reaction. The stereo was blasting music and even though a lot of girls weren’t willing to admit it: you liked giving head. You liked watching his face scrunch up in pleasure, or when he would lose control of hands, in such pleasure that he was unaware of what the rest of his body was doing. Or when he let his head hang down, mouthing open as he climaxed. 

He pulled away and practically threw you on the bed. He had that same look in his eye from in the dressing room; feral and wild. His cheeks were flushed red and he was sweating. He crawled on top of you, planting his elbows by your ears and started making out with you again. You could feel his member pressed against your lower stomach, you bit his bottom lip, causing his dick to twitch. He pulled his hips back and lined himself up to enter you. He slowly slid into you, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder. Both your bodies were radiating so much heat and the energy was intoxicating. As he started to rock his hips back and forth he was making direct eye contact with you. He was biting his lip and your mouth hung open. The stereo was so loud you could barely hear yourself moaning, he was getting rougher and rougher. Thrusting in and out of you to the beat of If You Can’t Hang by SWS. 

You weren’t sure if you'd both been at it. You were as exhausted as you were, you couldn’t get enough. Both of your faces were beet red, sweat was dripping down his face. His thrusts were frantic and he was holding your wrists so tightly they were sure to be bruised. You were bucking your hips up, letting your head fall onto the mattress and your eyes roll back. Your chest was riddled with bite marks and hickeys, both of you were getting close to your limits. Him announcing with his eyebrows furrowed and wild eyes how he was going to cum was enough to send you over the edge. You could feel yourself spasming around his member. 

“Oh my God, Morty what the fuck!” Jerry yelled, backing away from the doorway. You screamed and tried to free yourself from the grip he had on your wrist but if anything he held on tighter. 

“Fuck off Jerry, I’m busy,” Morty barked, you froze for a second. Not sure if you were comfortable with what was happening. 

At the same time you were completely at the disposal of the orgasm that raked through your body. Partly out of pleasure and anger you rake your nails down his slender back. Watching as his face scrunched up in pain from the scratches, using your hair to pull your head to the side exposing your neck. He slams his head and mouth against your neck biting harder than ever before. You screamed and again scraped your nails against his back as he rutted through the rest of his orgasm. Once he finished he collapsed on top of you, his heart rate was so strong and fast it felt like it was vibrating your chest. He had his arms wrapped gingerly around your head, his head resting on your shoulder and part of your chest. You could tell he was physically drained because he bared his full weight onto you. Comfortingly, you start rubbing his back, feeling bad about the scratches. 

“Are you okay?” you asked nervously. 

“Yeah, I hate him and I don’t care if he knows anymore. I want him to,” he grumbled. 

“But are you like… okay,” you asked again, he moved his head to look at you. Giving you a deep kiss, as if that was going to answer the question. He then playfully rocked into you one more time and laughed at your reaction to the sudden moment. You slapped him arm and you both giggled with each other until falling asleep. 

When you woke Morty up, was sitting at his desk working on an unknown project. He was hunched over, leg bouncing every once and a while. You felt guilty when you saw how bad the scratches on his back were but then you remember the chunk he nearly took out of your neck. Sitting up, you wrap the comforter around your naked body. He heard the shuffling on the bed and got up to greet you. Laying on the bed and pulling you into a hug, rubbing his hands up and down your back. 

“Sleep okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah, did you talk to your dad?” you asked, worried about how upsetting the whole scene must have been for Jerry. 

“No, he left,” Morty said. 

“Like forever?” you asked?

“Probably not,” he replied flatly. 

“I think you have like, blue and red something smudged on your eye,” you said, reaching up to investigate but your body got caught in a stretch. While you weren’t looking, Morty tucked the colored wires back in eye before you went to look again. Reaching back up to wipe it off but when you looked it was gone.

“Oh, guess I saw wrong,” you said, not thinking anything of it.

The rest of the night was a little awkward, the fact that Morty was so unphased by fighting with his dad was throwing you off a bit. It wasn’t like he would ever get sad or insecure about a fight between the two of them. But normally he got more angry and frustrated, but now it was like it didn’t care in the slightest. The house was now completely empty and it was eriley noticeable. As nice as it was to have alone time, you couldn’t help but connect’s Morty’s sudden behavior change in the new absence. You both were in the kitchen now, finding something to eat. Morty couldn’t cook to save his life, personally you knew he was smart enough to, he just is stubborn. You were making pasta out of the little amount of food found in the house. Luckily there was noodles, pasta sauce and half a bag of frozen meatballs in the freezer. Morty was hugging you from behind, as you cooked you thought about earlier and how aggressive he was being and now he was huddling to you like a child who just got lost in the grocery store. After putting the lid back on the pan you walked over fridge and start looking for something drink. He followed you, keeping his arms tightly wrapped around your waist. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he said, kissing you on the back of the head and parted ways with you. 

After going back to the fridge trying to find something to drink even though you knew nothing was in there. You let out a frustrated sigh and went into the garage, you had a fridge in your garage so you assumed he would. Even if there wasn’t, it still didn’t hurt to check. When you walked in, it took you a couple moments to understand what you were seeing. Rick’s body, all emaciated and purple toned, was strapped to the wall, hooked up to a bunch of wires. Blood everywhere on the floor, you could barely see the original color anymore. Blueprints everywhere, along with a whiteboard full of pictures that were connected by strings. The spaceship was coated in a thick layer of blood. The room smelt of copper filled, so strong you could almost feel yourself choking on it. You lift your foot and see that the bottom is completely coated in thick, cold blood. Immediately you scream and go to run out and see Morty standing in the doorway. He takes a step towards you, being in shock, you take a step back. 

“What the fuck,” you said quietly, almost like you were mumbling 

“Come here,” he said. 

“No Morty, seriously like, what the fuck,” you said again but this time with your voice cracking and tears streaming down your face. 

“It’s not what you think,” he said, taking a couple more steps towards you.

“Wha- Morty this isn’t something- you can’t just talk your way out of this or pretend it didn’t happen!” your back was now pressed up against the work space. Morty was coming closer but not in an intimidating way. 

“It’s complicated,” he explained. 

“No,” you said. 

“Y/N, it really is complicated,” he said. 

He took you back inside, walking you over to the bathroom. Not caring if the two of you were leaving bloody footprints across the carpet. He helped wash your feet off and then broke everything down for you. You had to ask him several times if he was fucking with you, to the point where he was getting irritating with the same question over and over. He literally explained everything. The citadel, the entirety of his grandfather’s lore, the Morty Market. The reason why Rick’s use Morty’s for adventures and the abuse and torture they endure. Even spilling into his own trauma he’s faced at the hands of his own Rick. Even though he didn’t cry or anything you could tell that it was hard for him to tell you this. He explained that he’s planning on moving to the citadel. At first that kinda hit you like the rest of the overwhelming information he was telling you about. Until you realized what that meant for your relationship. Surely he would have mentioned it if he wanted to bring you. 

“When are you leaving,” you asked? 

“After Thanksgiving break,” he said. 

“Oh so what, was this like you letting me down easy? You- you just figured that I wouldn’t be as mad because at least you gave me your undivided attention for a week before you leave? Like did you really think I would just let you fucking leave. You fucking moron,” you said getting up and walked up the stairs, to Morty’s bedroom. 

“You can’t come,” Morty said. You ignored him, pulling a duffle bag out of the closet. Starting to pack all your clothes and make up and whatever else happened to be in your eyeline. 

“Are you fucking listening to me?” he asked, his voice becoming louder. 

“Obviously not,” you practically hissed as you were packing. 

“I’m not saying you can’t come with me because I don’t want you there. I want to be with you but it’s- you- I can’t guarantee your safety all the time,” he said. 

“I don’t care,” you continued, he grabbed your arm and turned to face him. 

“You. Can’t. Come,” he said, his jaw was clenched and his breathing was heavy. 

“I’D RATHER DIE THAN STAY!,” you shriek, ripping his hand off your upper arm and shoving him back. 

He reached up and grabbed your arm, pulling his portal gun out of his pants and opening the gateway. You were scared and tried to stop him from pulling you through it but the grip he had you was too tight. It wasn’t like you were completely unaware of his use of the gun, you’ve used it to get home from a couple parties when you both were too drunk to drive. When you came through the other side of the portal it was dark, windy and freezing. He was holding onto your arm so tightly you were sure there would be a bruise. But when you saw how high you guys were you literally started clutching onto him. 

“Where are we!” you screamed only for him to be able to hear you.

“The actual top of the empire state building!” he said back. 

“Why?” you asked.

“You said you’d rather die than stay right? So jump,” he said into your ear now. 

“Why though?” you asked again, trying to see if he was joking by looking into his eyes; he wasn’t.

“If you need to ask why then you really can’t come,” he said back. 

You looked up at him, you were exhausted. Tears were streaming down your face and you thought he would give up this little bluff he had. He just stared at you with a cold expression. You looked down and couldn’t even see the bottom because of how high in the air you were. Now, you were embarrassed that you said you’d rather die. It was painfully obvious he was doing this to call your bluff. Part of you was offended by this, did he really think you weren’t that serious about him? That you wouldn’t actually give your life for him? Was this entire relationship just frivolous and something he never truly kept serious. Looking back up at him and your stomach flipping when you realized he was dead serious. 

“You want me to jump?” you asked, practically whispered. 

“You’d rather die right?” he asked back. 

Maybe it was because you were mad that he was trying to call your bluff. Or perhaps because you were gaslit, but you jumped. There were no thoughts in your brain. You know when you’re a kid and stick your head out of the window, and the wind is so forceful you almost can’t breathe for a second. That’s what you were feeling, everything around you was just colors and blobs, your eyes unable to make out anything. A soundless scream came out of your mouth as you closed your eyes, accepting your fate. 

Morty was still at the top of the building, watching as you fell. He was getting flashbacks when Rick rhetorically asked ‘what if I wanted you to jump off the empire state building, I have to ask?’ Maybe it was because Morty had such a toxic mindset but he now agreed with that logic. Even if he took her, the likelihood of her dying is just 100% higher. He wouldn’t be able to take care of her with everything he had planned for the citadel. Not only that, he learned from Rick what happens when you have a women you love. They become collateral for anyone he’s done wrong. He knew she liked him, maybe even loved you but he didn’t know you loved him enough to jump. It made adrenaline flush through his entire body. He knew that he could no longer deny that he loved you. More than anything, Morty didn’t think he was capable of empathy or connection. He after he turned 7, he’d stop telling his mother he loved her. He didn’t cry at his Aunt’s funeral or during sad movies when he was a child. At one point, his parent’s were considering seeking a psychologist for how lackluster the boy was. Morty’s were normally girl obsessed unable to look past their own erection. Morty never felt this way, at least until he met you. He liked how you owned how hot you were. How you were never were worried with how people perceived you. He knew you worshiped him, he liked that. 

He let out a frustrated groan and dove off the building. Making his body slim and tight to help glide through the air faster than you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and started opening portals for the two of you to slow down the fall. He looked at your face, to see if you were okay or not. Your nose was bleeding slightly and although you were blinking your eyes were glazed over, in shock. He opened the portals he was opening were all in dimensions where the gravity was getting less and less intense, in order to prevent as much whiplash as he could for the both of you. The last portal was back to his bedroom, he threw the portal gun on the bed. Lowering the both of you to the ground, you were passed out. He brushed the hair out of your face, saying your name waiting for you to open your eyes. He checked your pulse and was relieved to feel it was strong. After using smelling salts to get you awake, you guys just stared at each other. 

“Can I come now?” you asked, which made Morty laugh.

[beaker1636]

A is for Altoid (Vinny)

AN: Part 1 of the Alphabet Game! This one definitely was way more fun for me to write than I expected it to be! Next is B is for Body Oil with Ryan! Enjoy!

“Hey Vin, we’ve been home for three days, the time has come,” Vin groans as soon as the words leave Chris’ mouth, not ready for this shirt to start.

“I know, so what do you assholes have for me?” He glances around the room while asking his question.

“Who even gets to start this? We said whoever just did a letter gets to assign the next one but no letter has been played yet,” Rick says, having an idea but unsure if he would be allowed to give it.

“If you have an idea then just say it, does it really matter being the first one who does it?” Ryan says, taking a drink from his water bottle as he groans when Vin shoots him in the game.

“Okay… well here you go Vin,” Rick says, pulling a tin of Altoid mints out of his pocket and hanging it to the younger man, a smirk on his face as he knows that more than likely Vin hasn’t tried something like this.

“What exactly are you trying to tell me to do here?” Vin asks, looking over at Rick as he slides the tin into his own pocket.

“You have seriously never heard of this? Jesus, just get Carlotta to have one in her mouth when she blows you. One, it produces more spit and two, the cooling feeling is fucking great,” Chris says, rolling his eyes. “If you don’t know these things I feel sorry for Lottie, your bedroom life has to suck.”

“First of all, she would kill you if you call her Lottie, she only allows me to.  Second, maybe I’m just so good that we don’t need anything extra to enjoy ourselves.  She said I have magical hands… just saying,” Vin responds with a smirk, knowing he just got Chris to shut up. 

“Okay, so it's decided A is for Altoid.  Remember she has to tell one of the girls about it for it to count,” Ryan says, wiggling his eyebrows at Vin as the words leave his mouth.

“That was fucking creepy, please don’t do that face again,” Justin says, glancing over at Ryan.

“Shit you’ve been so quiet I forgot you were here too, you must have  really been into the game,” Ricky says with a laugh at the sudden reminder that Justin was there.

Later

“Hey Lottie, how was your day?” Vinny greets you from the couch with a smile when you walk in his front door from work.

“Could be worse but it also wasn’t great, my kids were awful today,” you say back as you pull your shoes off your feet before trudging your way over to the couch and sitting down with a sign next to your boyfriend.

“Well I am in a good mood now that you are here, happy to have you home.  I was serious when I said move in with me last night you know,” he says, pulling you in for a light kiss before letting you settle back into the couch, moving to fiddle with something in his pocket.

“So what is in your pocket that you keep playing with? It is related to that stupid game the boys have come up with isn’t it?” You ask, giggling when he chokes on air as the words leave your mouth.

“I-it’s yeah.  Rick gave me these and I’m supposed to make you blow me with one,” he blushes slightly as the words leave his mouth, pulling the tin out of his pocket.

“It still amazes me that with everything we have done you still get so flustered about things.  You’re shy about the fact I have to suck your dick? You act like I have never done it before, I was expecting something awful,” you tease him, laughing as his face turns red when you pop one in your mouth.

You slip off the couch, settling on your knees in front of him on the floor and rubbing a hand along his thigh as you try to get him to relax.

“We’re doing this right now? You can wait if you want to relax a little bit first,” he says, shifting a little when he feels you start to palm at him through his jeans.

“May as well, I would rather now than wait,” you shrug, moving to reach his zipper.

Taking the hint he moves to slide his jeans and boxers down for you, leaning back in his spot as he reaches for his half hard shaft, giving himself a couple strokes before you slap his hand away.

“You’re not touring so that means this is my job now,” you hum, replacing your hand with his own.

“I thought you liked watching me get myself off?” He asks, turning the teasing back on you now, leaving you a little flustered.

Rather than responding you blow a teasing breath of air that is now cool from the mint over his head, smiling to yourself when you feel him shudder underneath your touch from the new sensation.

“You don’t have to tease me with this, you do enough of that the way it is,” he whines, making you giggle.

“Hey, I’m just following the rules and making sure you get the full effects of the mint, gotta complete our challenge right?” You can feel a smile pulling at the corners of your lips when you meet his eyes.

“Sometimes I hate you Lottie, you know that?” he groans.

“No you don’t.”

Before he has a chance to respond you bend down, making sure the mint was on your tongue as you lick up the underside of his shaft, knowing that he can feel it moving along with your tongue, the sensation making him shift.  When you reach the tip of his cock you wrap your lips around it, again making sure that when you swirl your tongue around his head that he can feel the mint moving along with it.  You absolutely love every little shift of his hips and the shudder that he gives you, knowing that he is enjoying the sensations that you are making him feel.

“Fuck,” he groans, his hand finding it’s way to your hair, brushing it out of your face because he wants to see himself between your pretty lips.  There is something so erotic that he enjoys about being able to see you pleasuring him, taking care of what he needs from you.

Deciding that you have teased him enough you slowly begin to take more of him in your mouth, slowly bobbing your head more and more as you go, but not quite ready to give him the satisfaction of taking all of him.

Vin makes that decision himself, tightening his grip that is in your hair and pulling you down, making you take all of him.  He holds you there, loving the feeling of you swallowing around him, seeing your saliva starting to make its way out of your mouth while you choke on him.  When he finally lets go he gives you only a second to breathe before pulling you back down on him and repeating the process

“Fuck, I love it when you choke on me, letting me take what I need from you.  Am I able to get rough with you tonight baby,” he asks, pulling you off of him, his dark eyes following yours as you nod.

“Lose your clothing and go lay down, head off the bed,” he says, standing up and helping you up with his hand, following you to the room and enjoying the show when you start to shed your clothing along the way, leaving a trail of clothing on the way to his bed.  You make sure to slip a new mint into your mouth before you leave the room, wanting to keep that cool feeling that he seems to be loving going.

“No, on your back,” he says, watching as you lay down. “I want to see all of you while I fuck your pretty mouth.”

You roll over, leaning your head back to allow him to do just that, opening your mouth with your tongue out waiting for him to do it.  He thrusts harshly into your mouth, searching for his own pleasure that only you could give him right now, groaning as he continues to do so.

Reaching down he rolls one of your nipples between his fingers, you moaning around him and him groaning at the vibrations that it sends down his cock, the pleasure getting to him.

“The coolness and added wetness, baby, I am getting close.  Should I return the favor once I cum?” He knows you can not answer him but when you groan he knows that you are enjoying this more than he honestly expected you to.

He thrusts harshly, not giving you a chance to recover from choking on him before he does it again, a few more times before he spills himself inside of you with a groan. 

“Please, let me see it before you swallow baby?”  he asks, pulling himself out of your mouth and smirking to himself when you are there, his load in your mouth before you swallow it.

He helps you move up from your position so you are laying on the bed, rubbing your neck for a moment before he lays down next to you.  Pulling you in for a kiss, tasting himself on your tongue.

Sliding a hand from your hip to your center you can see his eyes darken slightly. 

“Seems blowing me gave you a problem of your own…”

He pulls his lips away from yours, moving towards the foot of the bed before he pulls you down by your thighs, quickly getting to work with his tongue which he uses to tease your clit, knowing it will make a pretty moan fall from your lips.

You shift your hips, hoping he will get the hint that you want him to move things along, craving your own release and growing frustrated with him.

“Should I continue like this? I could sit and eat you for hours and never get tired,” he says, pulling away to glance at you.  Taking in the beauty of your heaving chest, the way your eyes are half closed as you whine, chasing your own pleasure that he is denying you right now.

Without warning he sinks two of his fingers inside of you knuckle deep, rather roughly but he knows that you can take it as he continues at a relentless pace, knowing that this will get you close, but also not be quite enough.  Edging you closer to the edge of your own release, but not giving you enough to fall over.

“Should I give you what you need, let you finish?” he asks, slowing his movements when he realizes that you are about to finish, making you whine at your ruined orgasm.

“Fuck, please Vin,” you whine, looking up at him.

He smirks at you, moving to kneel on the floor at the edge of the bed.

Using his free hand he spreads you open, giving him access to torment your clit with his tongue as his hands get to work, knowing that the feel of his tongue is going to bring you back to the edge quickly, especially when his fingers start pounding into you again.  

“Vin, I’m gonna,” you don’t get the rest of your words out before it hits you, making you arch your back and let go with a moan as he continues to lap at you, removing his fingers so he can clean up your release with his tongue before he moves to sit on his knees, looking up at your proudly.

“So did I fix your bad day?” he asks, knowing it’ll probably be a few seconds before you respond, catching your own breath.

“Shut up,” you groan, covering your face with your hands as you slowly come back down to yourself.

“We may have to try that again, the coolness of the mint and the fact it made you a lot more sloppy…. Fuck it was amazing.” he says, moving to lay next to you and brush a strand of your hair that fell behind your ear.

He leans down giving you a soft kiss, followed by another and another.  Knowing that you love it when he is sweet with you, and smiling to himself when you giggle at his actions.

“My fucking throat hurts now though… you get dinner duty, I need to go take a shower now,” you say softly, smiling when his head lays on your chest while you play with his unruly curls, enjoying the afterglow of what just happened between the two of you.

“Or I can order dinner and we both shower together… after I thank Rick for this,” he says, sighing in content at your comforting touches.

Slowly the two of you get up, him going to do just that and you going to let Naomi know that her boyfriend’s suggestion for A was complete, not wanting to but knowing Vinny won’t get credit for his letter if you don’t let one of them know.

[no0t2]

@checkadii

I literally just woke up so this is the worst time to post this but ngl I have this problem where I wanna talk about it but I blank so fucking hard and fall flat on my face that I end up not talking about it anyway out of sheer embarrassment.

I'm not good at structuring my thoughts properly either because of ADHD, but here goes I guess.

I usually gotta segway into the topic if it's relevant to the conversation usually via,, friend convo, I don't know how people do deepdives of characters and whatnot I can't do that. I'm not sure why that is, this always has been a thing for me where I've got some level of understanding and my own HCs and such but they're not written or anything, so I can't express them.

To me Postal is just a silly series (minus P1 and Redux), not to be taken too seriously. So I don't really think about the "lore" that it has so much. I can ramble about Postal: Brain Damaged tho, that's probably my favourite cos of gameplay... And the designs as well as the soundtrack. It's just such a good game, I never thought shooters would ever be a genre I'd like to play, as I was so against playing them (thanks Half-Life for opening up my eyes). I can say definitely with confidence that retro styled FPS are especially something I find fun? Not on intense difficulty or anything either, I usually can't go above normal.

I've listened to "Straight Outta Suburbia" for like over an hour straight, I'm pretty sure even during while I was drawing one of my BD sketches lol

Back to Postal in general, I frankly haven't done enough "research" on it where I can properly speak about it aside from the games I've played (P1, P2, Paradise Lost and P:BD) And they're all games that are super different from each other (aside from P2 and PL, but even then). I'd also say I'm still pretty new to the series, speaking as I haven't played all of the games yet. Frankly, I was planning to just stick to P2 and that's it, glad I didn't.

Postal 1 I remember making me feel all sorts of weird things when I both played it and after I finished it. The load up intro scared the shit out of me the first time I opened the game, to where I had to pause for a minute. And it kept spooking me each time I did open it. I think that was kinda the point of the game as it's pretty dark compared to it's counterparts. I won't get into the lore of the 1st Dude cos I've seen people pluck at each other's feathers over the interpretation of him. But essentially, guy looses his shit during an episode, starts killing everyone. (Or just, "hostiles", depends how you play the game.)

P2 is so wildly different (aside from the fact that you can shoot people) that when I first opened it I was so confused how I was met with THAT Dude. I was surprised to hear him talk more beyond than just "BLEED" or "Only my weapon understands me". At the time I was also wrangling personal fears and feelings(which I don't know if I wanna get into, let alone if people would even wanna hear it lol) over playing the Postal series, so my initial expectation towards the game was:

"Okay, I know this is going to have some offensive shit in it, there's parts that won't be fun probably." And hoped for the worst, surprisingly a lot of the stuff in it I didn't find that bad, most of it is definitely fucked up, but nothing I couldn't handle, surprisingly. I played neutral-y, so I only attacked whoever attacked me, but I'd bail if I had the chance.

Paradise Lost plays similarly to Postal 2 (as it's literally the same branch of game just in the form of DLC). But I've found myself enjoying it way more than Postal 2, mostly cuz I found some of the jokes in it actually funny.

P3 I haven't played because I got rick rolled by RWS on the website so I'm not gonna play it out of spite </33 (But I've seen gameplay)

Postal: Brain Damaged is like, even more different than the previous entries as it's a retro styled shooter. But it has the charm of a Postal game and MAN is it good, I think the fact that it was released more recently is what made me enjoy its humor more. And it just!! Is so fun in general like wow, I'm still processing playing the game and I've already been thinking of replaying it because of how much I've enjoyed it. Definitely recommend trying it out.

AND WOWWW this has gotten long oops. Sorry.

I wanna note tho that, although there are aspects of Postal I enjoy, there's a lot of them that I don't, namely the offensive bits, some of them are genuinely fucked up where I can't go past them even in a comedic sense. Which I think is OK. I still enjoy other parts of it :^]

[abeinginsand]

Can we have 🫂💤 for Taylor? :3

Heya Cereal and definitely!! Thanks for the ask and sorry for the delay. Just got back in from work! Spinning him around in my mind, such a silly little guy :]

---

Friendship Headcanon

As a nephew cousin uncle pseudo sibling duo, Hermie and Taylor are constantly antagonizing each other haha. Teasing each other about their crushes, arguing about some show they both watch, and other stuff. Giving each other random titles while also alternating who gets called "uncle" or "nephew".

On the softer side, they try to look out for each other. Taylor staying behind in the cat bus to keep watch/guard things while he's having a flare up day. Hermie coincidentally having a sudden stomach ache and staying behind to keep him company. The sound of cat purring and the great debate of the top ten anime and play betrayals is a fun distraction.

Hermie having some shape-shifting issues in public place and Taylor doing an intense series of anime poses and jokes to draw attention away. When Hermie calms, he musters enough energy to give a playful critique of the performance. Taylor ends up surprised because it's the nicest critique he's heard him give to anyone. "Well if you're so surprised, I can easily take such words back? 🤨" to which Taylor says no take backs haha.

And since we're getting into the sleep part next... Taylor is very affectionate with his friends. Usually in the form of high fives, fist bumps, a hand on the shoulder, and leaning against them if sitting together. Sometimes he'll end up falling asleep if it's during a movie night, game, or car ride.

---

Sleeping headcanon

Taylor has an easy time falling asleep while sometimes struggling to stay asleep for long, especially if he's alone or feels alone. He tends to sleep with a pile of pillows and his childhood toy, a Santa Snoopy. Having something to hold onto is comfy, often holds Hermie's or Lincoln's hands when they have sleepovers. Unfortunately, Taylor usually ends up moving a lot in his sleep so watch out--ending upside down or half way off the bed at times. If napping, he likes leaning on people like his mom if having a little movie night on the couch or always falling asleep in his dads arms as a baby. Nicky coming late to hq and everyone thinks it's because he thinks it's cool 😎. Real reason being not wanting to wake up his baby boy who looks like a little angel in his sleep.

When he adopts Zoro (gray cat I've drawn a few times), the cat likes to sleep curled around his head on a pillow. The purring is soothing and tends to help him fall back asleep. Though he is not immune to scrolling social media on his phone at 3 am instead.

In dreamland, Taylor tends to dream of a mix of shows or manga that he's looked at recently. He is always in the protagonist spot and no matter the plot there is always a mom character that is basically a dream Cassandra. It's a version of her that let's him break more rules and have more weapons though. In a nightmare scenario, he tends to still be in a plot except no mom and no sidekicks. Lonely and lost protagonist traveling through an ever-changing and dimly lit cavern. The little flame torches are his only comfort there.

On a sillier side, he has attempted lucid dreaming a few times. One of those times was a dream version of the school and he explored each classroom, spotting different characters hidden amongst the students. He spent most of the dream in band class with Miku! The teen was on keyboard and she sang one of many one piece opening songs. For some reason, it was a hard rock cover and her pitch was shifted down. Next song was a Rick roll and as soon as he dramatically gasped about the betrayal...

He woke up and realized he was snoozing on his keyboard with his music editing software stuff open on his computer.

[griefabyss69]

for the WIP Folger game: wede

Hello!!! Thank you I love this one (even if it's a mess <3) I started writing this one while stoned, and wrote some sober and then high again etc. That's mainly why it's a mess, I definitely do my best work while sober!!! LMAO This is another thing that's very different from my usual, but I really enjoy it! It's a College AU, maybe set in like the 90's? Or late 80's? I forget if I did a slight modernization or not (It's been forever since I touched this doc) From the beginning: (contains: Weed, the most obnoxious phone call of Steve's LIFE. Also Devin is Unnamed Freak from CC)

Steve's dealer is a weird fucking guy.

He knows enough about how buying drugs works to know that this isn't rare, that he should expect it and roll with it, but he's met weird stoners before. Hell, his last guy back in Hawkins had been strange, making Steve drive all the way to his place by the lake everytime he wanted to buy.

But this guy, he's eccentric.

His new dormmate Devin reccommended him when he was complaining about the dwindling supply that he'd managed to sneak in from when he stocked up over the summer. The drive outside of town meant he usually bought in bulk, and figured he had enough to last him until the first holiday he made it back home.

Of course, it's not like he'd done the math, or planned for his second year at college to be so fucking brutal.

So he ran out of weed and the dormmate he feels so neutrally about that he keeps a running tally in his mind to try to tip the scales of his opinion one way or another did him a solid and gave him the number of a guy he's in a band with.

Steve didn't know he was in a band until then, and wonders if that goes on the Cool! or the Not Cool :( side of his list.

He's down to one last joint when he decides he should be more proactive, should always have something to calm his nerves if he's gonna make it through this semester, and calls the guy on a Wednesday evening.

He's grateful that he and Devin went halfsies on a phone line in the room, sharing the number but still a lot more private than calling from a payphone, doubly so when the guy answers the phone with -

"Hello hello! You've reached Munson's Mysterious and Magical Medicinals!"

It's so loud he pulls the phone away from his ear, frowning at it as the ear side buzzes. It grates on him and he considers hanging up, but he thinks about having to wait to get more weed until Thanksgiving, if he even bothers with going this year, and sighs.

"Hello?" He asks, wincing in anticipation as he brings the phone close enough to speak into it, keeping his voice at a polite volume.

"To whom am I speaking with?" Calls the loud voice, quieter than before but still making the phone buzz.

"Devin gave me this number," he replies, nose scrunching up in a grimace.

He doesn't even usually mind loud people, his best friends are often loud enough that whenever they're in public someone actually comes up and says something about it.

"Ah, my lovely assistant Devin! Such a Marvellous Miracle of Man!"

He's considering sealing his fate and slamming the phone down when he realizes that if he doesn't need to go back to Rick's for weed, he doesn't need to go back to Hawkins for Thanksgiving at all. He can claim his workload is too heavy this year and that he'll be home for Christmas and hope his parents decide that he's finally making them proud.

His workload is heavy, not that he plans on doing anything about that when the long weekend shows up.

So he kind of needs this guy, at least until he can find someone else.

"…Right."

"What can I do you for?" He's changed up his accent, instead of a wizard type of thing he goes for 1950's gangster, getting Steve's hackles up even more.

"Weed?"

"Weeee've got Weed! Wonderful Wacky and Whimsical Weed, you name it we've got it, delivered right to your door!" He changes again, now sounding like he's announcing the new Monster Jam, and if Steve had no self preservation he'd point out that he should've enjoyed a 'Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday!' in his stupid sentence. That also starts with 'W'.

"…Cool."

He's honestly struggling to reply to him, wonders if he can just ask him to drop the act and let him get through this transaction before the semester ends.

"Look's Like we've got a Laconic Lad on our hands, Ladies and Loiterers!"

Steve's sigh is so deep that he thinks there might be cobwebs spitting out of his mouth right now. He rests his head against the wall and gives himself another little peptalk, trying to remember the carrot to the stick of this conversation.

[thehungergamesrenaissance]

Your writing is fine. thank you for sharing your thg story. And now I really want to know your old account 😆

And what's the secret from ourleaderthemockingjay stuff?

.cn.

Hahaha! So many people in my inbox have guessed correctly ;) Well, so I'm going to finally come clean about OurLeaderTheMockingjay. It's been almost 10 years. Omg, OLTMJ had the fandom in a CHOKEHOLD. Lionsgate gave us NOTHING about MJ part 1 for MONTHS. We were starving for something. So here comes OLTMJ, they would post spoilers or any other "exclusive" stuff about Mockingjay.

So, they had this game and we had to follow the secrets. Like analyzing photos to reveal a code and we would be able to move onto the next round. I believe it was called Project Alae? Everyone kept saying that they got "Rick Roll" by the end... But, I DO remember there was even a code within that video. Me and another member in the fandom, who is not active anymore but was very popular, ended up getting to the end. I'm unsure who else made it to the end, but I do know other people were in on it too. They sent us Mockingjay Exclusives. I think this was March/April/May 2014. Sorry, Lionsgate lol I would also like to say, OLTMJ was also around for Catching Fire and there was a lot of drama and bad things that happened during that. Please, if you were part of anything about OLTMJ, please message me. I won't publish it, I just want to know who else was involved.

[iamthecomet]

And hoot again :D

Yeah, you’re very right (both with so quickly depending on it being overwhelming and with it showing how much I needed it)

The trip to therapy went quite well! The bus wasn‘t overly full on both ways, so I could sit down which was really good. I‘m still nervous for the first time that I’ll sit down on the floor if all seats are taken (it would be safer and better for me, but before I was always too scared to do that. Now that I have a cane that makes it sort of visible that I have trouble walking/standing, I want to try to do it).

I have suspected that I have hypermobile joints for a while (the problem is that I’m not in enough pain to really struggle so much that it would really be worth seeing a doctor for, but I’ll mention it when I got my next appointment). Part of the problem is my bad memory, because due to that I honestly can‘t even remember if I’m in pain (I know stuff constantly and quickly starts hurting but that’s probably normal in most cases and I also have a really high pain tolerance).

My body can do things it‘s apparently not supposed to do though

But I feel it with the cane, cause my wrist always sort of wobbles cause it’s really not stable. So I tried applying tape today, but only went to the very near grocery store that takes like a minute to walk to. So I don’t really know how much it has helped yet regarding walking with the cane. I do feel more comfortable though, and I think it‘s also helping me with writing and drawing

(On the video I watched the guy explained what the hypermobile thing in that hand he was showing it on is exactly, what it would look like if it wasn‘t hypermobile and what the tape is gonna do. And my thumb has the exact position that is a result of the joint being hypermobile (so like my suspicion doesn’t seem to be too wrong)

Since noon I had a really really bad headache that felt like my skull was split open and my brain crushed. So really not nice. I took 1,5 ibuprofen and later one paracetamol but nothing helped.

Then I tested myself cause I remembered that the only time I had such a bad headache was when I had COVID and boom! Positive

So yeah. I‘ll stay in bed tomorrow (and my head hurts so fucking much. I hate it)

I‘ll send you pics when the order gets here if you want! :D

But two pairs of Doc Martens sounds very nice!

A really sweet and funny story:

A friend of mine asked me to explain Ghost (as in, explain everything).

Three days ago I sent a video of like a few clips of Jutty, one of which being this clip in which he is like “unfollowing is bullying“ and “wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨“

And since then, we‘ve constantly been sending “wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨” back and forth (then we started to send the clip as a only one time viewable video so it wouldn’t be visible beforehand).

Today, I cut off the beginning of an edit and put that clip behind that to hide it and sent it to them. They have also hidden it in a poll on WhatsApp already

It turned into a game and we can‘t stop laughing about it because it‘s so fucking silly xD (it‘s practically like Rick-rolling)

wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨

(You just got wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨-ed. You‘re welcome xD)

~ @owlishanon

I'm glad it's still going well! It's good that it gives you so much peace of mind and that you feel confident doing what you need to do now without worrying that something awful is going to happen. But I'm so sorry that you have COVID! It's rotten. I hope you get lots of rest and your headache doesn't last too long. Sleep and drink lots of water! You can definitely send me pictures of the stuff you get when it comes in! I always love to see people's hauls! I am very excited about my docs. I paid $140 for both pairs, which is like half of one what one of them costs brand new. I feel VERY lucky about it. One pair is rusty orange suede, they're short boots. Great for every day. The other are standard black knee highs which have been my dream boots since, like, forever (I've owed many, many pairs of knee high lace-up boots, but none of them were Docs). The wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨 thing has me giggling. Thank you for that. What a great joke to have with your friends, seriously. Fucking Jutty. He kills me in the best ways.

[semper-legens]

146. Rick and Morty vs Dungeons and Dragons

Owned: No, library Page count: 240 My summary: Rick and Morty meets Dungeons and Dragons in this series of stories from the world of DMs and dice rolling! Morty wants to learn more about D&D to impress a girl - but Rick takes his interest too far. Rick investigates the sudden D&D mania that grips the world. And what would happen if a Mister Meeseeks got into D&D? My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

I like Rick and Morty. Controversial opinion I know, particularly with the reputation that its fanbase has, but there's genuinely a lot of really good storytelling going on in the show. When it's at its worst, sure, it's juvenile and gross, but when it's at its best it can be touching, thought-provoking, and incredibly intelligent. We got this very handsome hardback of three official D&D tie in stories at work, and so of course I was going to dip into it. The first story I'd actually already read, but the second and third were new to me, and the whole thing was a delight! It was a much deeper experience than I was expecting, and I was very pleased with it.

The first story comes when Morty, seeing his peers getting into D&D and specifically D&D podcasts, wants to start playing to impress a girl. Rick gets far too into it, and eventually plunges the whole family into a D&D world where they are in actual peril, risking both their lives and his relationships with them. This was a lot more thoughtful than I assumed it would be. It's an official tie-in comic, it's shameless promo, but there's so much character depth and introspection going on here. There's a line drawn between Rick, a minmaxer who wants to create characters with the best builds, and Jerry, not all that good at the numbers side of the game but willing to stick himself more into roleplaying and into the fiction of the world. It's showing two of the different approaches to tabletop games, yes, but it's also providing a great deal of character work. Rick is misanthropic, he's a problem player, he's sulky and annoying because he's not the best character in the world and people aren't hanging on his every word. Meanwhile Jerry, with a Charisma boost from his character, can be a much better leader of the family and the party, and understands implicitly what's going on with Rick and the underlying dynamics of their family. It's a really good read!

Our second story is something of a follow-on - suddenly, the world is D&D obsessed, and only Rick realises something's fishy. A bit of investigation shows that an alternate world inhabited by Rick's discarded D&D characters is leeching through into the real world, and it's up to him and Morty to try and stop it. Once again, we've got character development for Rick, as we see his toxic tendency to abandon his 'toys' when they're no longer interesting to him, with disastrous results when those 'toys' are people and those people resent him. Rick winds up alone for a long time, fighting and battling through all of these discarded Ricks in order to finally topple them, figuratively and literally destroying evil parts of himself. What a fucked up little man.

The Meeseeks story is more throwaway and just for fun. A pair of adventurers find a Meeseeks box and tasks the Meeseeks to get one of them a kingdom, before they both accidentally die. Meeseeks is left to fulfill his purpose by summoning more Meeseeks to create an adventuring empire, conquer a kingdom in the name of the adventure, and finally disappear. It's a fun, silly story, with lots of classic Rick and Morty humour, and I very much enjoyed it.

Next, back to CHERUB, as James and Lauren undertake their most dangerous missions yet.

[spaceycloudy]

Perhaps I should talk about some tags that I've used for posts because reading them is a wild ride even to myself

Today, I'm using my post spam post tags! I probably need to be diagnosed with something tbh

"Personally I think I'm funnier then I actually am"

RICK ROLL PRANK FANFIC

So, I am a absolute chaotic gremlin. That also plays D&D. One day, my friend misread a fake news story title and got way too excited by:

So sadly, the other folks and I in the D&D gc had to point out that D&D exists to our DM. DM was super disappointed with himself. Somehow the convo turned into about fanfiction & shipping, as you do with 2 chaotic bi, 1 neutral gay, 1 lawful bi, and our token cishet.

The two chaotic bisexuals had an idea: DM x Stranger Things game Fanfiction. And so, they started brainstorming [In a call by themselves, which they are not supposed to do tbh]. Somehow Rick Roll within the FF was brought up.

Cut to the next D&D session and the Chaotic Bi duo sent the FF to the DM. He sighs, "That's nice, anyways."

Now I have an incomplete DM x Stranger Things game Fanfiction that's also a Rick Roll somewhere on my Google docs.

----

SENDING THE GRONY FIC

Also one time I sent DM and the other Chaotic Bi[CB] the Grony fix because I mentioned it offhandedly and they were confused of what I meant. I knew CB had a Tumblr so I was confused of how they didn't know what I meant, I didn't know DM also had Tumblr but now I'm confused?

----

DESENSITIZED TO MY BULLSHIT

In my first D&D session w/ DM, I set a farm on fire [because Orc Zombies] before Kool-Aid Man-ing out a window.

-----------------------

"In other news, Schlatts reaction to my room would probably be confused and I think that's hilarious"

SCHLATT ROOM REACTION

So I just had watched JSchlatt react to his fan's rooms and thought what his reaction would be to mine. It's a bit chaotic since I share with my twin.

----

DEATH WALL

I have a remarkably small computer setup, a lot of random art work hung up, my pride flag is on the ceiling, there's multiple sheets on my window due to the multiple heat waves my state had.

The weirdest thing in there, however, is what we call "the death wall".

So, the "death wall" is simply pictures and obituaries of people my brother was close to. That's it. However, calling it "death wall" is funny without context tbh

[shanair]

Rick and Morty X F!Reader (Platonic) | S1E2

A/N: I’m back guys! Sorry again for not updating, I got caught up in school and writers block but I’m back! Here is episode 2! I apologize if the writing might seem choppy since I started it a couple months ago and just finished it, but regardless, hope you enjoy!

-

Episode Name- Lawnmower Dog

Word Count- 6,492

Morty and I hang out in our room. We sit in comfortable silence doing our own thing. We both jerked our heads up at the sound of Dad yelling.

"Morty..." I warn. He looks at me, then to the door.

"W-what if there is actually something wrong? Like something b-broke into the house and attacked Dad?" He retorts.

"Okay fine," I sigh, putting the book I was reading down. "but if it's not anything abnormal or crazy, you owe me twenty bucks." 

"Deaaal." He groans. We quickly rush downstairs to the living room. "What's wrong?" He asks Morty. Summer lounges on the couch, an early sign that nothing important is happening. 

"Your idiot dog!" Dad exclaims.

  "Aww, it's just Snuffles." I reach over to him, petting his soft white fur.

"Oh, he didn't mean it, Dad." Morty excuses, coming over to me, petting him also. "Did you, Snuffles? You're a good boy." 

"Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet!" Dad separates us from Snuffles and pushes his nose into his piss spot. "Bad dog! Bad!" I go over to grab him back. Rick pulls Morty and me up by our arms. 

"Kids, come on. I need your help tonight." He starts to drag us off.

"Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick." Dad interrupts, standing up from his armchair. "You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?" 

"I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread. Come on, kids." Rick drags us again. Dad grabs our other arms. Summer still ignores the situation. 

"Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my kids for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart, or the twins are grounded!" Dad tugs us both towards him. 

"Aww, man." Morty and I groan. Rick glares at us for a brief moment for our synchronization. But why are we being roped into this? 

"Ha-ha!" Summer calls out. Shut up Summer.

"Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry." Rick leaves for the garage. I put my hand out for Morty as noises are heard from the garage.

"What?" He questions, rubbing the arm Rick was holding him with.

"You know what." I smirk. Morty sighs and reaches into his pocket, putting a twenty into my hand. "Good doin' business with ya." I put the bill away. Rick enters the room, a small helmet in hand. He puts it on top of Snuffles. 

"All right, Ruffles. What's his name?" Rick asks.

"Snuffles." Morty corrects.

"Snuffles, shake." Snuffles does so and lifts a paw to Rick and shakes. "Rollover." He rolls over. "Go to the bathroom." Snuffles leaves the room, and a toilet flushes: he then returns. We all marvel in amazement. Now that is cool. Let's just hope his intelligence is limited to only tricks. "Yeah, you're at the top of your game now. Jerry. Have fun. Come on, kids." Rick drags us out of the living room. We walk into the garage.

"That was fantastic, Rick!" Morty beams.

"Yeah, imagine everything else he could do now." I nod along.

"Yeah. If you like that, boy. You're-you're really going to flip your lids over this one." Rick steps to the side of his invention and shows it to us. He shows us a small plug-like device that looks like a USB, needing a magnifying glass to see up close.

"W-w-w-what is it?" Morty questions, we lean away from the object. 

"It's a device, Morty," Rick picks it up, "that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Morty. It's just like that movie you keep crowing about." It places the device in a case.

"You talking about 'Inception'?" He replies.

"That's right, Morty. This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it's gonna may-" Rick belches, putting the case in his neverending lab coat pocket, "be make sense.”

"'Inception' made sense."

"No, it didn't." I snickered. Or I'm too dumb to understand, but Rick didn't get it either so. Didn’t seem to be that smart of a movie anyway.

"You don't have to try to impress me, Morty. Listen, tonight we're gonna go into the home of your math teacher, Mr. Goldenfold, and we're gonna incept the idea in his brain to give you A's in math, Morty. (Y-(Y/N) is fine, but it is so you can, you know, y-you two are gonna help me with my science, all the time."

"Wow, Rick, in the time it took you to make this thing couldn't you just have, you know, helped Morty with his homework?" I comment.

"Th-then what have you b-een d- are you even listening to me (Y/N)? Homework is stupid. The whole point is to get less of it." Rick opens the ship door, and we all get into our regular seats. "Come on, let's just get over there and deal with this thing. W-we're gonna incept your teacher. You're frustrating me." 

. . .

We sneak into Mr. Goldenfold's house, Rick helping Morty and me into his house through the window. Eugh, he lives in a dump. Why is the trash so sparsely scattered on the floor? The small TV continues to play until Rick shuts it off. It was a basic house, the living room was tiny and closed off from the rest of the house.

"Uh-oh! Spoilers!" Rick whispers. "I'm a full season behind."

"This place is nasty." I comment, looking over Mr. Goldenfold's sleeping body on his beanbag. There is a bowl of popcorn on his stomach. How can he fall asleep like that?

"Wow, Rick, I can't believe we're sitting around, standing around in Mr. Goldenfold's house. It's really weird." Morty exhales. It was strange. Other than the one he was sitting in there were multiple bean bag chairs across the tiny room. Part of me believes they haven’t been sat in since he got them.

"It's about to get a whole lot weirder, Morty." I hear Rick respond and a thud following it. I see Morty on the floor and Rick approaching me with the device. 

"Woahwoahwoah! Can I at least get comfortable before you put me under!? Let me sit down or something!" I protest. 

"No." 

"Aww man-" Rick grabs my arm and slots the device into my ear. I go cold for a second before waking up in an airplane. I sit in the window seat, Morty next to me, and Rick in the aisle. We all peer out to the aisle. The lady from that show Goldefold was watching iis the attendant. What was her name? Oh yeah, Mrs. Pancakes. 

"Wheat Thins. Wheat Thins." She calls as she rolled the cart down the aisle. For an airplane, it had a decently wide aisle. Mr. Goldenfold flags her down. 

"I'll take two." He leans out.

"Oh, I think you've had enough, sir."

"You don't know me." They both laugh at his reference to the show. I smile a little at the joke. Yeah, I've watched it. It’s entertaining. Anyways.

"All right, kids, time to make our move." Rick grabs full soda bottles from a random cart conveniently nearby. He straps them to his chest, here we go. He hands Morty and me a cover-up. I don't put it on. 

"I'm not going to help you pull a nine-eleven." I scowl.

"Fine, good job showing concern for your o-own brother's grades." He gets up from his seat Morty behind him. Morty had put the cloth on his head. "Allahu-" Rick belches, showing off the sodas, "akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane. We're gonna nine-eleven it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!" Mr. Goldenfold stands up with Mrs. Pancakes. I sit slightly higher in my seat to look. "Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!" 

"The name's not buddy. It's Goldenfold. Nice to wheat you!" Mr. Goldenfold grabs crackers nearby and uses them like ninja stars. 

"Take cover!" It punctures Rick's soda 'bombs' and pierces Morty's arm. I cringe at Morty's wound as Mr. Goldenfold pulls out two assault rifles, firing them in our direction. Rick and Morty cover in seats a few rows behind. I carefully duck under seats and regroup with them. Morty whines as Mr. Goldenfold still screams, firing the two assault rifles. "Goldenfold's got more control here than I anticipated. I mean, the guy teaches high-school math." Rick belches, " I didn't take him for an active dreamer. We've got to take him out so he wakes up, kids, but we can't get killed. If you get killed in someone else's dream, you die for real.

"What?! Are you kidding me?!" Morty and I both yell. 

"Don't be a baby!" Rick responds. "You avoid getting shot in real life all the time. Just do the same thing here, and we'll be fine."

"Reassuring." I groan. "Do you at least have a plan?"

"As a matter of fact-" Rick belches, "(Y/N). I do. We're going to take Mrs. Pancakes as a hostage and trade her."

"This is Mr. Goldenfold's dream. Can't he just teleport her back?" I question.

"The thing is, he doesn't know this is a dream yet."

"Alright, here we go." I sigh. Rick somehow gets Mrs. Pancakes on his side of the aisle. He peers in the middle.

"Goldenfold, we're coming out! We just want to talk!" Rick stays low to the ground when peeking. Mr. Goldenfold halts his assault.

"Why would I negotiate with you?" He questions.

"Because we're both rational adults that don't want anything bad to happen. And because I have a human shield." Rick stands up, with Mrs. Pancakes in a chokehold. 

"Mrs. Pancakes, AAAAAH!" Mr. Goldenfold screams, dropping the guns and cowering down. Everyone else on the plane freaks out in a similar matter.

"Oh, no, kids. His subconscious is panicking." Rick comments, still holding onto Mrs. Pancakes. I hear one passenger scream louder than the others before the emergency door bursts open. Morty and I hold onto nearby seats as people fly out of the plane. My hair gets tugged, and I hear a scream as Morty lets go. God damn it. I let go and smash into Rick at the emergency door. We all tumble out. My arms flail around as I try to gain balance in the arm, Morty screeches before Rick slaps him. I swim in the air to get closer to Rick and Morty. Huh, I guess it does kind of have a ring to it.

"Relax, Morty. Look! Mrs. Pancakes has a parachute. Come on!" Rick points to Mrs. Pancakes, and the three of us maneuver our way over to her. Morty and I grab onto Rick. He pulls Mrs. Pancakes' parachute, and we all hang onto her.

"You don't know me." Mrs. Pancake scoffs.

"Oh, no, Rick, look! Goldenfold landed the plane, and he's created a mechanical arm to pluck Mrs. Pancakes out of the air while he lets us fall into a giant vat of lava!" Morty explains. I look at the contraption Mr. Goldenfold created. He was right. There was indeed a vat of lava and a mechanical arm he was controlling.

"Pretty concise, Morty. Looks like we've merely prolonged the inevitable." Rick immediately comes up with a plan, "That's it, Morty! Prolonging the inevitable! Listen, if we go into Mrs. Pancakes' dream, everything will go 100 times slower, Morty. That'll buy us some time to figure this out!"

"Dying in Mr. Goldenfold's dream is the last I want to do!" I yell, punching Mrs. Pancake to unconsciousness. Morty gives me a flabbergasted look.

"All right, let's go." Rick ignores my sudden aggression and grabs more dream inceptors. He inserts us into the dream of Mrs. Pancakes. We land in a sort of, sex, dungeon? 

"Oh, man, Rick, this is pretty weird." Morty looks around at the multiple different alien-type creatures. Mrs. Pancakes sits on a throne, whipping some of the alien-gremlin things.

"Don't judge Morty." Rick also stares intently at the whipping Mrs. Pancakes.

"Ohh, well I'm totally judging, and I’m not liking what I’m seeing" I smile awkwardly, kind of grossed out. I mean everyone pretty much knew he was weird anyway. Seeing it though is just, yuck.

"Okay. All right. Well Look, Mrs. Pancakes is right over there. I'll just go ask her to tell Goldenfold not to kill us when she wakes up." Morty stands up and starts to walk before getting grabbed by Rick.

"Whoa, whoa, Morty. The trick to incepting is making people think they came up with the idea." Rick pulls off his lab coat and tosses it to Morty. "Listen to me. If we're gonna incept Mrs. Pancakes, we have to blend." Rick takes his blue undershirt off. He then takes his pants off. I look away as mini-sex gremlins rush to him. "I'll talk to you after lunch." Ew, he goes off with them. Another image I will later work to erase.

"What's the plan, then?" I move closer to Morty. 

"I-I don't-" Morty is interrupted by a sex monster rubbing his arm. 

"Ooh, hey!" It greets.

"Ooh, oh! Oh, man." Morty recoils from the monster. More monsters approach us. One starts touching me too. We both get very uncomfortable for obvious reasons and run away. This is soo fucking weird. Two more get a hold of Morty and me.

"Come and join us." It asks.

"Nopenopenope, sorry no!" I push it off, and Morty does the same with his. We run before stopping in front of a large frog woman.

"Ooh, wow!" She lays in a mud bath named 'The Pleasure Pit', "Come over here, you two." 

"We're fine!" I yell out, pushing Morty away. We bump into a human, about time. Whoa, she actually looks- holy shit that's-

"Summer?!" Morty screams out. She walks closer to us, wearing this pink and black lace lingerie. 

"Hey, there, strangers." Summer leans over to us, "What do you think of these things?" She shakes her tits in our faces. It's not the first time I've seen her in underwear but never in this context. I want this entire experience erased from my brain. I cover my eyes backing away. Morty has a more verbal reaction. 

"Ohh! Oh! Gross! Gross!" He cries. I hear a thud, assuming he fell over.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's the matter with you two, kids? Calm down! You're both kind of killing the vibe in here." I hear Rick's voice, along with chains? Oh god, I don't even want to know what he is wearing.

"I-it's Summer!" Morty stutters.

"Aw, geez. Looks like Goldenfold has some predilections so shameful he buries them in the dreams of the people in his dreams, including a pervy attraction to your underage sister." Rick points out. I reopen my eyes and stand next to Rick, trying not to look at his--attire. I was right. He is wearing this gimp-type chain sex thing. Morty gets from the ground and steps next to the other side of Rick. I try to look anywhere but Rick or Summer.

"Can you blame him?" Summer crawls to us. "Come on, old man, little girl and boy. Let's make an inter-generational sandwich." She traces our bodies with her hands before pulling us together. Rick pushes her away. All of us shield ourselves, overlapping each other.

"Oh, my God. Put some clothes on for the love of God-Summer! Put some-I'm gonna puke! I swear to God I'm gonna puke!" Rick’s voice is the loudest as he backs up from her.

"Oh, my God! Put some clothes on, for Pete's sake! This is disgusting! I can't take it, Rick!" Morty’s voice is screechy as he also backs up.

"Oh, Jesus Christ! Summer-don't! Just don't do that! Please just put some clothes on! That's disgusting! This really wasn’t worth what we came for!" I yell out under the other two as I fully turn around from her. We came here for a fucking grade. I probably could just cheat for him.

Everyone around us goes quiet. A large-red-headed centaur goes in front of us. We stop our whining as he towers over us.

"Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure chamber are punishable by death! Off with their heads!" He swings his large spear at us. Rick dodges it and rolls over to the centaur.

"Time to go into another dream kids!" Rick grapples his neck, choking him out.

"Don't need to tell me twice." I cringe. Rick puts the inceptors in, and Morty and I do ours.

We drop down into a new area. The room is red, with incinerators behind us. Rick is luckily in regular clothes again.

"What the hell? Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream version of Mrs.

Pancakes' dream version of a Centaur, be dreaming about a scary place like this, Rick?" Morty queried, looking around. The centaur stands next to us, sucking his thumb.

"Geez, I don't know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?" Rick crosses his arms. An annoying screeching sound catches our attention. A figure appears at the end of the corridor. 

"Welcome to your nightmare, bitch!" A weird deformed-looking Freddy Kruger charges at us, screaming.

"Oh, here we go." Rick starts to run.

"Ooohhh! Holy crap!" Morty and I scream. We run in the tight corridors of the industrially looking dream. Rick runs next to us.

"Looks like some sort of legally safe knock-off of an '80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives." Rick clarifies as we run.

"I'm scary Terry. You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!" He yells from behind us. We continue to run around, avoiding Terry as he conveniently pops out of every corner. A girl talks in the background.

"'A, B his name is Scary Terry 'C' 'D' he's very scary." The girl echos through the area.

"Holy crap!" Morty yells as Terry jumps out at us again. I pull him up as he stumbles. "We have to escape into someone else's dreams, kids." Rick starts, and we continue running as Terry pops up in areas in front of us.

"I'm not dying over a movie knock-off!" I scream. He crawls overhead us and jumps in front of us. All of us freak out and make a sharp turn. We all locate the creepy girl singing. Rick points at her as she keeps mindlessly singing. Creepy, oh shit right, we're still being chased. 

"The little girl!" He knocks her out. We all intercept her dream. We wake up-in the same fucking dream. The girl continues to sing that stupid ass song. "Are you kidding me? This again? Oh, man, it looks like we've hit dream bedrock here, kids."

"Bedrock?! You mean there isn't any way else to go?!" I scream.

"Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-whoa, this isn't good." Morty whines.

"Nothing but fear from here on out bitch!" Terry appears next to us and we continue running.

"Holy crap! He can travel through dreams. He can travel through dreams! We're so screwed!" Rick exclaims.

"You think?!" I cry out as we continue running from him. Who knew the most stress would come from this adventure out of the rest, just because Morty happens to be a dumbass. The whole stress of the chase dies down as we exit the building. The world is very similar to the nightmare on elm street but redder, very red. Rick skids over a car into the driver's seat. I beat Morty inside, making him sit in the back without a seatbelt. Seems like he is too nervous to protest.

"What are we here for again? Incepting? We're trying to incept-"

"We're trying to intercept me to get an 'A', in math?" Morty interrupts Rick, Rick murmurs an 'oh yeah' and starts the car. Morty screeches and jumps onto me in the front. The two of us scramble as he tries to straighten himself up. Terry pokes up from the back.

"Buckle up, bitch!" Terry leans against the seat. Morty and I once again scream as we all crawl out of the car. The two of us recover quickly before following Rick as we continue to run

"Why does he say bitch so much?!" I yell.

"You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!" Terry yells behind us.

"Hold on, kids. Y-you know what? He keeps saying we can run but we can't hide?" Rick starts as we take cover next to a broken-down house. "I say we try hiding."

"But that's the opposite of what-" Morty starts.

"Yeah, well, since when are we taking this guy's advice on anything?" I nod in approval of Rick's theory, it's dumb, but this is a dream.

"Hey, you know what? You got a really good point there, Rick. Like, if the truth was that we could hide, it's not like he'd be sharing that information with us, you know? I-I-I think it's a good idea, Rick." Morty ponders.

"Worst-case scenario, we're back to running." Rick shrugs.

. . .

After around six dream hours, we traced back to Scary Terry's house due to Rick's plan actually working. We camp outside Terry's house. Apparently, he has a wife and kid as well. We stay crouched in front of the dining room window and Rick nudges the both of us. I snap back to attention.

"Kids, this is perfect. After a little scary coitus, they should be fast asleep, and then we'll intecept him." Off-topic, but he does have a pretty nice-looking house. The three of us sneak inside after they uh, have some 'coitus'. I grimace at their weird-looking bodies and the marks left all over the room. Terry flinches in his sleep.

"Looks like Scary Terry's having a nightmare." Rick prepares the inceptors. 

"Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know, scare Scary Terry." Morty watches Rick and we incept Terry's dream. We watch Terry from afar. We are in a school? He went to school? What would he learn? The bell rings and a younger Terry looks up. 

"Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch!" He shoves his locker close and looks down. "Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants!" Terry rushes to class as other scary monster girls laugh at him. We join the class he was late for and sit behind him.

"Ah, well Mr. Terry, why don't you tell the whole class the proper wordplay to use when one is chasing one's victim through a pumpkin patch?" The teacher questions, getting into Terry's face. Monster school is weird, why is wordplay important if you're isolating your victim and killing them? Terry mumbles to himself, before answering.

"Oh, uh, um-- 'bitch.'" He answers. The class laughs as the teacher gets off of Terry's desk.

"Oh, come on, Terry. You can't think of a pun involving pumpkins, bitch?" The teacher taunts.

"Hey, leave him alone!" Morty interjects, pulling the attention towards him. 

"Yeah!" I call out, standing out of my desk chair, "You're giving him shit for no reason!"

"This is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?" Rick finishes, concluding our defense for Terry. 

"Well, I never-!" The teacher stutters, looking around at the kids staring at him. "I-I see no reason to stand here and take this!" He rushes out of the class. Pussy. Morty stands out of his chair and we go next to Terry.

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself, Scary Terry." Rick rests his hand on Terry's shoulder, "You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is." I grab some mysteriously convenient pants nearby and nudge Morty, handing them to him. 

"Hey, yo, Scary T, don't even trip about your pants dawg. Here's a pair on us, fool." Morty hands him the pants as I side-eye as he speaks. Why is he talking like that? 

"Aww, bitch. I don't even know what to say." Terry accepts the pants and starts putting them on.

"You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg." Morty poses as he speaks and I try to hold in laughter. 

"You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip" Rick puts his arm around Morty and they hug Terry. Rick too? This is so dumb. The thought makes me burst out in laughter as the dream ends. Morty punches me as we wait for Terry to wake up.

"Cool it, he is our only chance of getting out of here remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," I chirp, "just give me a second." I try to calm my smile as Terry's eyes start to open, I guess my smile meshed in with Rick and Morty as he smiles back. He sits up in bed and faces us.

"Oh, hey, it's you guys!" Terry goes on to thank us for what we've done and invites us to stay for breakfast, what a change of heart.

We sat around Terry's table after he gave each of us coffee, bleh. Melissa (his wife) approaches the table as we sit near him.

"I haven't seen him this relaxed in years." She comments.

"If you guys ever need anything, just say the word," Terry adds, resting his sword-fingered hand on Rick's shoulder. 

"As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with," Rick responds. Thank god we're finally getting out of the dream paradox hellhole, cannot wait.

. . .

We all sit on Terry's back (uncomfortably) as he goes through each dream, killing the dreamer. We finally reach the original dream and Terry turns into a missile, launching himself at Mr. Goldenfold. This day just keeps getting better I guess.

"This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!" He screams, ramming into him and exploding. The dream ends and we all quickly hide behind the couch, Mr. Goldenfold bursts up in shock.

"Holy crap! Goddamn! I know one thing for sure, I'm giving Morty an 'A' in math! And that's my idea, that is an original thought!" He wanders away from the couch as we all do a trio fist bump. All of this and I could have just allowed Morty to copy off of me. Entering back into the ship we start to fly home. 

"That was a day, I can't wait to lay down and go into my 'own' dream" I sigh.

"Yeah, and now I can relax with my easy A- wait, what the hell?" Morty points outside. A squad of dogs in mechanical suits brings boxes in and out of our house, two of them watching guard. Wow, let me guess. Dad probably caused this.

"Out of the frying pan, dot, dot, dot, huh kids?" Rick says plainly. He probably predicted this the second he made that dog intelligent.

"Oh man, what's going on?" Morty questions.

"I'm assuming no one paid attention to Snuffles as he slowly became self-aware," I comment.

"Always seventy-five percent correct as usual (Y/N). Your dog possibly made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but honestly, your guess is as good as mine." Rick shrugs humbly.

"Let's go save our family then." Our conversation ends as Rick silently lands somewhere nearby. We rush to sit in the bushes behind our house. "Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer," Rick whispers as we emerge from the bush, he pulls out a device to remove their chains. Wow, the dogs tied them to an inhumanely short leash tethered to the ground in bad temperature. Wonder where I've seen that before. Summer rushes over to us.

"Oh, thank God, Morty and (Y/N)" She hugs us, very, very tightly and I'm just going to say it now that she literally pushed our faces near her boobs and now I want to die. Morty seemed to get the same impression as he awkwardly pushed her off of us. 

"Oh, you're welcome!" He grimaces as Rick comes back over.

"All right, let's get out of here. If we hurry-" Rick takes a swig of his flask, "we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere." Dad protests, "This is my house. I'm not abandoning it."

"It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?"

"Wait a minute. I have an idea." Dad responds. Of course, he is the only person who gets an idea from the word 'piss'. If you don't know what I'm getting at, Dad's plan is to piss on their stuff. Like a dog- well, an unintelligent dog. And which- he does, then he pulls down his fucking pants and squats. I kind of root for Snuffles here as he shoves his face into his piss. Karma I would say. But who really won in this as I also saw my Dad's bare ass.

"Ooh, great plan, Jerry." Rick groans.

"Bring those two to me." Snuffles points at Morty and me as two robo dogs pull us towards him. As he sits in a lounge chair. Please don't make us the first sacrifice, please don't make us the first- "You both were always kind to me." Oh. "That's why I will leave you, Morty, with your testicles and (Y/N), with your uterus." Ew, but yay? I have no clue what's going on. "From now on, you two will be my best friends and live by my side."

"Th-thanks, Snuffles." We both stutter before sharing a knowing glance and walking to our assigned 'doggy' beds. Morty and I each sit on one side of him. Both of his robo arms reach down and pet both of us.

"Begin phase two." He orders the guard dogs, dog guards? Whatever, the world is being dominated by dogs, I had a dream about this before and it did not end well.

. . .

So, it has been months since that happened. Morty and I both now live in this luxurious building owned by Snuffles-Snowball, as he owns the world now. Morty surrounds himself with women and I sit in silence with immense guilt. Yeah, the human race a lot of times treats dogs unfairly but not all of them, and it just feels unfair to also imprison the humans who never even interacted with dogs. Luxury is kind of nice though, if only it didn't cost at humanity's expense. But, our family is also victims in this. We need to leave, it's not fair. I rush into Morty's room, I make an audible noise of disgust as he sits up in the bed shirtless, the two girls in his bed also sitting up.

"(Y-(Y/N)? What are you doing in here?! Can't you see I'm busy here?" Morty complains, I walk over to stand in front of his bed.

"Morty, we need to leave here. We can't just sit up here as royalty while everyone else is forced into slavery! Think about our family!" I fume, and he waves me off.

"Come on, our lives are so much easier now. And we can do whatever we want. Be selfish for once, not like we can do anything about it anyway." Morty dismisses. Fido, our sort of butler dog, brings a tray of drinks. "Thank you, Fido." I turn to face the dog as it gets knocked over.

"Rick!" Morty and I exclaim, one of us more enthusiastic than the other. 

"I thought you were dead!" Morty continues.

"No, no, no, I was just playing dead." Rick drops his bat. "Good news though, kids. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon."

"Yes!" I cheer.

"What? What do you mean?" Morty stares at Rick as he explains.

"It's a dream, kids. We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the three of us inside Snuffles' dream." And of course, coincidentally, an object we used earlier is now the thing we used to solve the secondary problem going on.

"But it's been like a whole year!" Morty chokes, I cringe at the women still touching him while they talk.

"It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like 'Inception', Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie."

"Aw, man." Morty sulks, "I really liked this life."

"I didn't!" I chimed in.

"Well, at least I didn't really didn't crap my pants."

"No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty." Rick starts, and the women promptly start to leave him. "You're sleeping in your crap right now, that was the only real thing that-, you know, is, that you crapped your pants. I mean it's a mess, Morty." I start to audibly laugh at Morty, holy shit Morty how does that even happen. "I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth." Eugh, gross, still funny, but gross.

"Aw, man, geez! Seriously?" Morty exhales.

"Yeah and some even got on your sister's leg, nasty." 

"What?!" I yell as I feel the smile drain from my face, Rick cuts me off.

"Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty." Rick sits on the bed and ignores my panicking. "Here, here, take these, Morty. Take these." Rick hands Morty a series of pills and Morty takes them. "You two (Y/N)." Rick grabs more for me to take. I hold them in my hand but don't take them. Morty fucking got shit on me.

"Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?" Morty asks.

"Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down." Oh well, sucks to be him I guess. 

"What?!" Morty shouts, and Rick holds him before turning to me, "Same with you, y-you both gotta take it." 

"Uh, no. I'm not taking some kidney failure medicine. Morty's the one who shit everywhere, so he has to pay for that." I protest.

"Fair enough, Morty, don't worry. It's necessary for the plan, don't even trip dawg."

. . .

Rick(in a robo dog disguise), Snowball, and I stand around pale unconscious Morty on a medical table. I know this is technically fake and stuff but it's still unnerving to see Morty dying like that.

"It's pretty bad, emperor Snowball. We're gonna need to do another operation." Rick diagnoses. 

"Anything," Snowball puts his robo arm on Morty, "anything for my precious Morty." An Accountant Dog enters the room.

"Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that these medical expenses are putting you in serious financial jeopardy. You could lose your kingdom." One of the other workers walks up to Snowball.

"To hell with my kingdom Bean Counter!" Snowball pushes all of the papers out of the dog's arms, he holds Morty with his. "I would trade it all for my human's health, and happiness."

"Do you think they would have done this for us?" The dog asks.

"We are not them!" Snowball pauses, I can almost see the mental resolve as he whispers. "We are not them."

. . .

The whole family stands outside of the animal shelter, dogs walk in a line into a portal as Snowball stands in front of us. The shit thing has been resolved if you were curious. That’s all I'm gonna say.

"Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory." 

"We're going to miss you, Snowball." I smile.

"You can call me Snuffles, (Y/N). And I'm going to miss both of you two, very much." He walks up to us and we embrace him, Snuffles licks both of our heads before leaving through the portal. I ignore Dad's crying as Morty and I break off to stand with Rick. 

"Wow, who knew dreams had such an impact. And to think if that never happened we would be living in that world right now." I whistle.

"Yeah, but a whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like." Morty speculates.

"I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven." Rick rambles.

"You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick."

"Is it though?" I remark.

"What do you know, Morty?" Rick sighs and shakes his head, "What do you know?"

"This is great and all, but can we go home now? I'm hungry." I announce. Everyone seems to hum in agreement as we go home and eat dinner at the table. 

"So that happened." Mom starts, cutting into her food. "Anything anyone wants to say?"

"That we should never get a dog, or any type of pet in that matter, especially one with advanced intelligence." I begin.

"Well yeah, but at least I got to see Dad cry like a baby" Summer snickers.

"Hey! It was a very emotional moment, excuse you!" Dad pouts, sinking down slightly in his chair.

"That was pretty funny to see." I chuckle. 

"L-like you didn't cry your eyes out once we got inside." Morty points out. I feel my face flush as everyone turns to me.

"Pfft- Naah, I didn't-crying? Me? Never." I hastily shove more food in my mouth so I would shut up. 

"Come on Morty. We all know you were the one to cry the most, t-that's why your shower took four minutes longer than usual today." Rick keeps his focus on his food as he talks. I grin at Morty, mainly because of how Rick covered for me. 

"Huh?! Are you timing the time it takes for me to shower?" Morty rises defensively.

"I don't know, Morty. Maybe I'm not, maybe I am. No need to pass the blame around, geez." Rick gets up from the table. "I'm heading to the garage, see ya." Morty springs up from his chair.

"What?! Rick! You can't just drop a bomb like that and-" Morty's voice drowns out as he follows Rick to the garage. The rest of us at the table slightly shrug and continue eating. Just a regular day with the Smith family.

[orpheusredux]

can u do 2,3,21 for the nsfw question list <3

Hi! Thanks for responding to this call out! Just a reminder, these questions and responses are STRICTLY 18+, do not ask or comment or even look if you are a minor.  Anyway, I just got Eddie's reply so I'll pass it over to him:

Hi @yaspillz, Me too. I fuckin’ love ‘luudes, man. How about you? 

OK, you want to know… Oh, shit, everyone wants to know, huh? 

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

I already answered this one, sorry, honey. Check it out here. 

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

Is this - this is because of the handcuffs, right? It's not a kink thing, like it might be for Lemmy, who inspired my handcuff belt, but the ones in my room were just from a Halloween costume a few years back, me and Jeff went as escaped convicts to this party and spiked the punch with a bunch of acid. I don't know why I did it, it was fucking terrible to do. We'd just watched Revenge of the Nerds 19 times in a row and it went to our heads.

So, I don’t know about “unusual”. Anyway, isn’t that the definition of a kink or a fetish? Something that’s outside the norm? Something that’s not vanilla? Isn’t an “unusual” kink something that’s even weirder than like, being into licking armpits, or someone spanking your balls? It’s like someone who can’t get off unless they’ve watched you take a shit in a cup or something? 

No thanks. Like, all good if it’s your bag, but me personally? No. No, thank you.

Having said that, a girlfriend of Rick’s once peed on me, but that’s a ‘drunken shenanigans’ story, not really a ‘sexy times’ story.

I get the feeling real fetishes are more intense than anything I’ve ever gotten up to. I had a friend - like a real friend, not just me pretending it wasn’t me - who used to get paid to come round to a guy’s place, strip him naked and lock his head in a padded box. She’d just sit there for an hour reading magazines while he rolled around on the floor moaning. $300 a pop! How sweet is that gig?

Like, not a lot of people know this, but there's kind of big wife swapping scene in Hawkins. They have key parties. I sell to them sometimes, so I know. Not naming any names, but Karen Wheeler is an animal.

So, yeah, to return to your question, I can't tell you about my kinks, but I can tell you want a fucking love.

I love it when my girl is sitting in my lap totally nude, but I’ve still got all my clothes on. I don’t know why, maybe it’s some fucked up macho power thing? I don’t know, but it makes me feel like Conan the fucking Barbarian. 

And the other thing I fucking love, is when she’s down to her panties, and you can see how wet she is for you, because her crotch is all dark from her juices. Yeah, that’s, that’s a thing I need to see regularly. I’ve been known to just eat that pussy, panties and all when I see that. 

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

Oh shiiiiit, I kind of answered this one too, here.

Well, I mean, I definitely would. And I’m not saying I think about it often, but like… I think about it often. Daily. OK, twice - three or four - You know what, I think about it. 

I have definitely had sex in the same room as other people who were also having sex, but we were not, you know, all doing to together. Parties at Rick’s place by the lake get kind of wild some nights. Not gonna lie. 

I can imagine, like, my imaginary girlfriend and her friend and me, maybe? Or like… Gareth and me and a girl who’s game to take us on? I’m not sure Gareth would be super jazzed to see my junk though. I don’t know if he’d be able to relax. 

My only concern would be that everyone was totally 100% into it, that everyone was getting what they needed and that no one was feeling, you know, left out, or jealous, or hurt afterwards. Feelings man, they will fuck a good time up faster than Hopper with his sirens on.

___

For sure, Hopper is a major buzzkill! Thanks again, Eds.

Check out the list of questions if you want to ask Eddie anything. And don't forget to check out my AO3 and my masterlists.

Also, I hate to ask, but would you consider reblogging? It really does help!

(CAVEAT: Y'all know this isn't really Eddie, right? Because he is a fictional character. This is a writing exercise. I have no connection or relationship to the Duffers or Stranger things. I'm just fooling around)