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ruporas · 1 year

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invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:)#in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is.#mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

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ganondoodle · 3 months

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okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #person that send an ask about this in just as i was writing this- this isnt about you- i promise you #its soemthing thats been stirring in my mind since yesterday #and seeing so many of those comments- and even aonuma himself say it #just strikes a very very personal sore spot #also to that one commenter on a different post-#no- wanting female characters being allowed to wield a sword is not “badass female character mysogyni” (idk how to spell that rn)#the hollywood badass female character thing is annoying but thats bc-#its a super model woman (bc shes ALLOWED TO BE FEMININE you KNOW) fight people in high heels- bc you can be feminie AND badass-#and then does a cringy one liner 'what you thoguht a FEMALE couldnt kick your teeth in'#which comes with alot more baggage of tropes and hollywood etc etc #i long for the 'women are jsut as capable as men' in a very agender way #why do you think i intentionally design alot of female characters non tradtionally feminie or masculine #again this is a very pseronal thing to me #BUT i do think it IS questionable that its her that isnt allowed to fight with a sword #like i dont think thats much of my personal dislike there- but a valid thing to point out no matter the explanations you can come up with #anyway- i dont hate it- but its not for me- i dont want to talk much about it #i hope you can excuse me not answering the asks i got related to this- id just repeat myself #(i guess i should be glad that its the top down one that gets her as the protagonist-)#(i dont think i want to live through seeing her be animated like the typically girly feminine butt wiggle in your face tehehe)#(the botw/totk cutscnes were enough of that for me PERSONALLY)#i dont know how many times i have to say its my very biased personally personal opinion and no a judging of others #to make it clear that no one has to agree with me and i dont want to be convinced of the other opinions of this

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arabian-batboy · 1 year

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People of Tumblr really are relentless, like literally everyone outside of Tumblr are clowning you 24/7 for being the birthplace of the majority of fanon and how your inability to read the source material and clinching to fan-made concepts that are full of misinformation has influenced DC to turn their characters into these flat ass caricature to the point where people are now dubbing these versions "Tumblr fanon."

Yet after all of these years, nothing has changed, no one here is embarrassed about their reputation or trying to put effort into being better. If anything fanon is more prevalent than ever nowadays.

#I have a soft spot for Tumblr since my start was here #and once upon a time there were so many passionate readers here #who would write so many educational and intriguing metas and analysis #and have engaging discussions with each other #but most of these blogs have become inactive #and now there's none of that here #its literally just y/n self insert fanfics and people repeating the same exact tired boring flat concept over and over #like don't you feel cringey drawing Tim drinking coffee with dark under-eyes in 2023? Like AT ALL??#everyone use that as the biggest example of fanon and you don't feel anything while drawing it? That's crazy

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yourlocaldisneyvillain · 2 months

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i'm overwhelmed by the amount of positive comments i got on my latest fic! my heart goes out to all the survivors of sexual abuse, and i'm glad my fic has helped many of you process your own trauma. <3

#personal #i honestly wrote it bc i was feeling quite Bad abt very Old Wounds haha as i am sometimes wont to do #bc of a person/event that reminded me of my abuser #i thought it may resonate with like one or two people but i mainly wrote it for myself #and i am so surprised that so many people have messaged me about it #also kinda sad bc that means they've Not Had A Good Time #however i'm very glad my fiction can provide some sort of relief/catharsis #it's an isolating experience to have very ambivalent feelings abt your own abuse #and to become aware of your own patterns of seeking to repeat it/seeking toxic dynamics that remind you of it #about 6 years have passed since i was last abused in such a way #and while i do get randomly sad about it and while it has affected my psyche in a very significant way #and while i still do get the occasional flashback albeit it is much more rare nowadays #and still do react to certain things quite disproportionately #i have to say it DOES get better #esp if you make a tangible effort to heal #you will get there #and while it is a part of you it is not who you are #and you are capable of living a fulfilled and satisfying life #sexually and otherwise #i used to be so upset about not being a Good Victim #but the best thing i've done is that i have given myself grace and stopped policing/moralising my own experience #(that does not mean allowing myself to engage in repeated self-abuse)#(even if i have slipped a couple of times bc i am human)#i have allowed the space for my toxic fantasies instead of trying to banish them #but i have sought to fill my life with other positive experiences #while not forgetting or erasing the negatives #and while my abuse will always be a part of me it will not prevent me from being happy #also kink has helped a lot as well as writing #but i advise ppl to tread VERY carefully with kink as esp as abuse survivors #it is a slippery slope and it can be dangerous in many ways

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peaches2217 · 6 months

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Okay, who kickstarted the return of the Mareach baby fever? Because I logically shouldn’t post even more Expectant/Parent Mareach when I literally just posted one such fic two days ago but DAMMIT NOW I’M IN A MOOD.

…in my defense, for all the crap I’ve posted, I still haven’t given my fankid a name. 😅

#I mean. she HAS a name! but it sucks and it’s corny as hell and everyone else’s fit a lot better #have y’all seen some of my fic titles? titles and names are NOT my strong suit #when I was 12 I made a fankid for tobe and jing-jing from pucca and I fucking named her DEBORAH #(all my love to the deborahs out there! it’s just… not a good name for the fankid of two korean-chinese characters. y’know)#I have only marginally improved in the fifteen years since then #also! remember that wip I posted last week that repeats the word ‘door’ like twenty-seven times in three paragraphs?#you guessed it! also an expectant mareach piece #then one about mario just tiredly babbling to his little girl to keep himself awake and peach eavesdropping because it’s the cutest thing #and then one where they debate whether firebrand will be passed onto their kids since it was a power gifted explicitly to mario #rather than innate magic passed through generations by birth like peach’s powers #and these are just the ones that I’ve got at least partially written. there’s so many more I keep coming up with and they all SUCK #heeeeeellllllppppp #peaches screams into the void

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ectonurites · 4 months

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i wish people would actually just fucking listen to me when i do in fact know what the fuck im talking about

#im literally just. so pissed off. im so fucking pissed and annoyed and i want to smash something like.ghghghzghhgdfh #like how many fucking times do i need to repeat myself and explain that its a stupid fucking idea. its stupid. its FUCKING STUPID. oh #my GOD. im literally so pissed im shaking and none of this is that serious its fucking promo content for a renaissance faire but its #the 'people just not taking me seriously because they've known me since i was a little kid thus they always think of me as a little #kid even though i am actually 26 fucking years old and have been working professionally in this field for the last 5' of it all #grandpa max is god? i go to church now

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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Found a very cool pastel cat sweater at the bins but I have literally nothing that matches it well, so I always struggle to make outfits with it lol

#ootd #pastel #I really really want to SELL CLOTHES I keep talking about selling clothes.. its just such a process..hhhhhhh #Because you have to take pictures. edit the pictures. list them somewhere. write descriptions. choose a price. advertise the fact you listed #it somewhere. Repeat with literally hundreds of items (since I get bulk clothes at the bins and etc.). I have a lot of cool stuff that I thi #nk people into similar styles would want to buy. and I always need money to fund art and healthcare expenses and eventually moving to a diff #erent place someday. replacing broken electronics. etc. etc. So a wise decision is 'well sell a lot of the old clothes you have'. It is so #difficutl with my specific functioning issues though since it's such a long process and also packing things up. taking them to the post offi #ce etc. takes timing since I always have to be driven by roomates and stuff. etc. etc.#I think the way I was considering getting around this was to sell clothing in 'packs' like.. A pack of 5 or 6 matching items the same shade #of pink. or all green items with flowers so it's the same 'nature theme'. Or even selling full outfits or something. so that way I can kind #of bundle items. Instead of the effort of photograohing and listing literally 50 individual items. Turn them into 5 packs of 10. Or 10 packs #of 5. etc. ? But I think I never got too far with that because I was uncertain how that'd actually go over in terms of whether people would #buy groups of items instead of just individual. Especially whole outfits or something like. I think you'd get a wider audience giving people #more individual choice to choose seperate things instead of putting them together and going 'this is just what you get' or etc.#but I could also see it being cool. You already have some guaranteed stuff that matches. They have a theme. Especially if it's something you #like. Love brown themed mori kei items? here's 5 of them already together. etc. etc. etc.#ANYWAY. Came to mind because as much as I love anything with cats on it that's a light color. I also am chronically warm natured due to my #health issues so I overheat immensely if I wear sweaters. even in the winter I don't wear that many layers lol. So a sweater like this is ju #st impratical for me outside of taking one or two outfit photos with it. but I don't think I could ever actually wear it even if I really wa #nt to. But it's nice! and very cool!! so a good candidtate for selling. Give it to someone who would be happier to have it than I would in #the sense that maybe they could actually WEAR it lol.#ANYWAY... rhgh #everything......... difficult.......... whye #Also sweater is too hot for me and doesn't match anything I own even though it's perfect and I love cats..... whye....... cruele world #self

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sskk-manifesto · 7 months

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Osamu Dazai and the Depressing Era

#I have so many thoughts through my mind these days I was barely able to focus on the episode. I kept zoning out #I made barely any post #Okay some thoughts. The thing that really hit me since the first time watching b/sd... Is the–#“I don't kill people because I want to write about lives” “I start doing good because my friend asked me to”#Like I get grey morals and everything but also. Sorry for being so simplistic but I think everyone should do good / not kill people–#because killing people is bad lol. No because of other personal reasons #I really *really* feel b/sd ultimately has a very nihilistic approach to life.#And that when Oda said “You won't find a reason to live whether side you're on. Both sides are the same.” it's not Oda-character talking–#but it's really the author expressing their own worldview through the one character that's the most distinguished #They really think there's no difference between good and bad in their little nihilistic world.#Which is something I personally don't agree with.#“It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it”#......... No it's not you just need to go to the shore and listen to the waves crush and the seagulls squeal dude. It's going to be okay.#That's why it's so easy to portray Dazai as perfect and flawless for the author btw.#Because nothing he ever did in the pm was wrong if “good” and “bad” don't mean anything to begin with.#And this is coming from a deeply relativist person. But I believe even grey morals have a limit.#Thus my general disagreement with most b/sd themes #I don't know why I went off this tangent btw I didn't intend to.#I suppose it bears repeating once in a while where I stand compared to the b/sd themes and my personal interpretation of them #(Even though I acknowledge most people don't agree with such interpretation... )#There were other things regarding the episode I needed to say but I forgot...#One of them was that season 2 Dark Era proves that even amv openings can actually be good if you put enough budget in them #Which makes me even more pissed at the season 3 / season 5 ops #random rambles

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sysig · 1 year

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Noooooooo

#I'm gonna have to be pretty choosy for this'n's sketchdump #No wonder the backlog was taking forever to edit lol - Finally finished that part of it #Now to stitch things together and compile and write commentary.........#This one is gonna break so badly before it's done lol #The majority far and away are the Blank Slate concept sketches - that's like Half right there lol #And luckily I can be pretty picky on those! A lot of the panels are near-repeats and/or can be stitched three-four wide!#That's still so many lol but it's managable #And I mean there is all the rest around that still - some big impressive pieces too that need spotlight :3c #Now I've just gotta make sure I don't make any more until after Requestober since y'know - I always get tangentially inspired lol #Submit your RQTRs btw! There's only one so far! Distract me from finishing this in time! Lol #Nah I'll get it all it'll just.... Just one step at a time haha #Vargas

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crimeronan · 9 months

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i'm working on the next wwaitsoatl chapter, which as i've previously mentioned is by FAR my most involved story as far as, like, technical process goes. i finished the second draft of the chapter and went "god, wow, this is all shit, this all sucks so bad, i'm never gonna be able to make anything usable out of this" and then stepped away for a few hours and now i'm midway through the first editing pass and i just keep going "oh my god. oh my god. holy Shit this is gonna bang so fucking hard once i fix it all. oh this is gonna go so hard there's so much potential. fuck YES oh my GOD my HORRIBLE LITTLE BITCHES ARE BACK-"

#the 'this is shit. this is awesome. i am shit. i am awesome. this is shit. i am awesome' process. it will repeat several more times #eda is saying some of the worst things she can possibly think of to darius. it's messy. it's delightful.#think like. princess AU hunter and amity terrorism except more justified more neurotic and more middle-aged #i don't know when i'll finish this chapter bc like i said. editing takes hours and hours and HOURS. but.#i like being excited about this story again. for months it's been making me horrifically anxious but now i'm like YES GOD. YES #(the anxiety wasnt bc of the story itself it was just bc. uh. i'm diseased and scared i can't measure up anymore)#(in terms of writing quality. i don't want this story to have a game of thrones nosedive in quality just bc my immune system is fucked.)#(nothing worse than over 1300 subscribers being able to peg your cognition declining. but i'm feeling a lot better these days so.)#(fingers crossed.)#toh #i don't know how many people are even gonna come back to read it since the show's been over for 9 months and it's been #that long since the last update too. ppl who conceived children when i last updated are having their babies right now.#but. if some of u guys are still sticking around. that will be enough <3

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yellowloid · 1 year

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trying to write after like. i don't even know how long? and it feels like getting tore to pieces by a torture machine in some circle of hell but yes :) writing is my favourite hobby :) i love writing so much :)

#zero motivation zero will to keep writing but many insidious thoughts :))))))))))#can you believe real life shitty events have the power to take a toll on your creative motivation too? the more you know!#:))))))))#i've been wanting to do nothing but sleep since the beginning of the month i'm so fucking tired and i hate having to make decisions #feeling that weight in my stomach from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to bed #and then repeat!#feeling guilty bc you're not being productive productive but also feeling guilty if you do or don't do smth hobby-related like writing #so you just want to sleep because guess what! it's the only time you feel at peace with yourself and the world!#and real-life decisions make you nauseous and paralysed with fear so you can't bring yourself to do anything! and the guilt increases!#this was supposed to be a silly post about writing being hard but i guess this is officially a rant #but also like. yeah. not really going far with my writing in this mental state! :)#to delete

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wrenhavenriver · 2 years

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the best thing about turning 30 is that somehow like 90% of my phone anxiety evaporated all at once

#i've had to make so many goddamn appointments since and each time it's just like *shrugs* time to go be someone's problem i guess #if i have to ask them to repeat themselves like three times in a row that's fine #if i sound awkward as fuck that's fine #if as soon as i hang up they're like 'omg everyone guess what this idiot asked' that's fine #i still had to do it regardless

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delicourse · 2 years

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your poses are always so pretty and dynamic! do you have any examples or references? i feel like it’s kind of hard to find cool poses, esp if u wanna draw fanart

i struggle with the same thing, unfortunately!!there’s really no database full of poses for inspiration and composition that i know of, most tends to be croquis stuff (which i do recommend if dynamics is the problem!) or like, extremely specific Holding Medieval Sword Drawing Reference Angle Pics…

really, i think, looking around and just collecting images you enjoy to later look back on, and use for inspiration is the way to go. much of what i do is from memory of things i thought looked cool.. wether its real life scenes, artwork or fashion ads.. usually i only try to find specific refs once ive already begun on the artwork and start struggling with a certain part…. but finding references for a pose u kinda made up can be a hassle! so it can absolutely feel wayy more inefficient to do it like that.. but it’s what i do!

#notmyart #process #anonymous #obviously just going with memory of things u like also leads me to repeat and do similar poses many times #i tend to get an obsession/fascination with a certain aspect or angle and keep repeating it over and over lmaoo #but u could argue its my style 😎 or just autism. either way.#the times ive been given specific pose ref images for comms have been nice and helpful though! ngl #since u dont have to figure out what a body part looks like at that exact angle and muscle movement #something u dont have when u make things up! but clip 3d models Can help with angle at least #not musculature though.. the models are incredibly stiff so u cannot rely on them too much #i tend to take irl pics too when things get tricky; like hands!! nobody got the exact hand pose i want and 3d hands suckk so. me time

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twistedappletree · 1 year

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one day, i hope you say

i’m the one who almost got away

until we meet again,

i hope this letter never sent.

#music #so idk WHY this gives me so many zhuiling feels bc it’s actually kinda sad #and I HATE seeing my boys sad lmaoo #but probably bc it’s giving me a fic idea #tho y’all know me if I do write sad stuff it always has a happy ending bc that’s just how I roll #this song definitely fits the arranged marriage trope tho in the sense of being engaged to a different person they don’t like #and having to see the other get engaged to someone who isn’t them 🥺#‘we had everything but time / danced with someone that isn’t you / just wishing you were mine’#LIKE P L S OH MY GOD #this song is so good tho I’ve had it on repeat since I woke up today ahahaHAHA #zhuiling playlist #young summer #letter never sent #fever dream #apple jams 🍎#Spotify

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autumna-potentia · 10 months

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