#And i'm not saying I'm a pro at it but i'm doing it

[revasserium]

soooo thinking about pro!hero shouto being waylaid in the street by a tiny cute girl scrabbling for his autograph, and he's still a bit bewildered by this whole fame thing but he tries his best -- so he bends down to ask her what he'd like signed, only to hear your voice, to look up and see you, just about the prettiest creature he'd ever laid eyes on, running up to the little girl and scooping her up into your arms before bowing and saying --

"i'm so sorry! she just ran off -- you can't do that, mia-chan! your mama will kill me of something happens to you!" before turning back to him with a pleading sort of smile and just, "sorry again -- she's my cousin's daughter -- i promise she doesn't mean to bother -- she's just such a huge fan --"

but he can't help noticing the glow in your cheeks and can't stop himself from wondering if you're a fan too. and what he'd do if you said yes.

"not a bother," he smiles, "it's just part of the job." he looks at the girl now, extending a hand, "thanks for being my fan -- what would you like signed?"

"no really -- you don't have to --" you say, but shouto reaches for a pen all the same.

"no, it's okay. i want to."

so he signs the little girl's handkerchief, and feels his chest go warm at the way she presses it to her chest, grinning wide enough to split the sky. it's only then that she looks back at him with curious, wide eyes and asks --

"aren't you going to sign anything for big sister? she's your big fan too!"

"mia!" you go just about the most darling shade of red, looking anywhere but at shouto; he clears his throat, licking his lips.

"i... i don't mind... if you'd like something --"

"no, please -- we've bothered you enough."

"can she have your number?" mia asks, now positively devious as she looks between him and you, "it was her new years wish when we did our first temple visit --"

"mia! that's enough -- i'm sorry, we'll just go --"

"here." he scribbles down his number and presses it into your hand with a bright blush of his own. and now he's the one who can't look at you, "you don't have to do anything with it -- if you don't want to. but if you do..."

"i -- i do! i just --" you glance back down at mia, grinning smugly in your arms.

"then... you can call me later. or text. whichever." he takes a few steps back, swallowing passed the heartbeat now thundering in the back of his throat.

"yeah. sure -- i will! i mean -- only if you don't mind."

"i don't. really."

"okay."

"okay then. see you."

"yeah... see you... soon."

"yeah. soon."

[rottenpumpkin13]

What is it like having either AGS as a roommate?

SEPHIROTH

Pros: Quiet and keeps to himself, keeps the house neat and tidy.... bordering on obsessive, responsible, it's like living with a cat: if he likes you he'll curl up beside you in silence, investigate objects he's curious about, and want that the house follow a routine for meal times.

Cons: Sheds hair everywhere, you don't hear him approaching so he'll scare the shit out of you, says concerning comments unprompted like "At least the soil which buries our bodies in the end will be warm," might adopt a cat at random, falls asleep in random places and you might trip over him, which he will be insulted over.

ANGEAL

Pros: Home cooked food, very nurturing, great music taste, will help you with anything, brings you snacks, the house is filled with plants and always smells fresh.

Cons: Passive aggressively does the dishes, passive aggressively pins the chore chart to the fridge while making comments about how "Ain't nobody do shit," passive aggressively sweeps while saying "You guys are gonna miss me when I'm gone," will bring in random things he found at garage sales/on the side of the road without consulting you.

GENESIS

Pros: Lets you borrow his books and his clothes, lends his ear if you need to vent about your problems, fun to hang out with, will read to you, gossips with you, mixes you drinks, extremely organized.

Cons: Nosy, thinks his music taste is superior and therefore all must listen to it at maximum volume, gives insane advice that is 70% of the time illegal, he's organized but his stuff is everywhere, unpredictable mood swings, blunt, petty and will leave a dirty mug in the sink for 3 months if it means proving a point.

[olderthannetfic]

Someone recently left a comment on one of my fics that they were disappointed I wasn't addressing any of the criticism or comments I got on Goodreads. After all, I reply to comments on the actual fic. Why am I ignoring the Goodreads commenters?

Well, 1. I didn't know there was a Goodreads page for my fanfic 2. I think if they wanted a reply they'd say it where I'm known to reply to every single comment without fail and 3. the kind of dumbass who treats 800k of free fanfics in a series like something they paid for is not the sort of person I want to engage with. If 800k of stories, with main stories, tie-ins, prequel asides, missing scenes, etc. for free wasn't to your liking, just... go read another? We have stories in this fandom whose whole series clock in at over a million words. We have stories where people have done fan songs and fanart and fancomics tying into their main work. We have stories with multiple timelines. You have so many options, all of them totally free and easy to access. If my stories, which I fully admit ares flawed and show some of my weaknesses as an author, don't do it for you, you have options. You have wonderful options.

If I had an editor and a publisher and my stories were actual books, I wouldn't have this reaction to this comment. But these stories have one person working on them total. I'm not making income off of this. This is what I write while working two jobs, for fun. As much as I do view writing fanfic as something that helps me learn the ins and outs of writing and put my all into it, it's going to be rougher than if I'd had help with it or had time to do more drafts than the three I normally do.

And if I was known for ducking criticism, I would get having comments on another site. There are authors in my fandom who delete anything that's not praise. But I have had long conversations with my haters in which I take everything in good faith and explain my writing choices, word choices and ideas. I have my tumblr which is just about my fandom stuff listed in the AN of every chapter. DMs are open and anon is on. My Dreamwidth account, also under the same name, also has DMs open. I have publicly stated when I have made shit narrative choices and owned that yes, sometimes I have genuinely dropped the ball. This has influenced later chapters where things go off of the original outline in order for the shit choice to have consequences in a way that makes sense and feels true to the characters in the story.

So "why are you hiding from the Goodreads commenters?!" feels like the most baffling thing I've ever been asked. I tried to be nice about it, but all I could think was, "why didn't the Goodreads commenters who wanted a reply post their comments where they know I 100% would've responded to it?"

--

Madness!

(Also, lol, half the pro shit with a lot of comments on Goodreads is barely edited. Maybe they were bitching about content? But if it was whining about craft, the bar is in the floor and they have nothing to complain about.)

[loveesiren]

Doing It All For Us (Pt.6)

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: The angst after sex is wild

Warnings: Language, smut, violence, knives, blood, drugs (cocaine)

Word Count: 4.8k+

You felt the heat of the morning sun on your face. Looking out the window you could see the sun begin to rise. You stirred slightly in Rafe's arms as you sat up to look around the room.

Rafe was still asleep, his arm draped over your torso. You could feel a pain between your legs as you remembered the events of last night. A plethora of emotions ran through you. You had sex with him. Like what?

You slipped out of bed, careful not to wake him. You left your dress on the floor, slowly sliding open Rafe's dresser and grabbing a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers. You pulled them on quickly and tied your hair back. You had obviously gone to sleep with wet hair because the beach waves were prominent.

You went for his door but stopped yourself. "Shit," You whispered, realizing his whole family was probably home. You were not taking the walk of shame through the Cameron's house.

You bit your lip as you looked at his window. Rafe stirred in bed and you squeezed your eyes shut, praying he wouldn't wake up.

He didn't.

You made your way to the window and opened it. Glancing back at your sleeping boyfriend one more time before you climbed out the window and onto the roof.

There was a tree sitting perfectly outside his window for you to climb down. And this wasn't your first rodeo. You and Courtney became pros at sneaking out back in LA.

You slowly lowered yourself, branch by branch until your bare feet touched the grass below.

You took a deep breath and looked around, making sure no one was watching you.

When you were positive you were safe you took off running down the street towards Courtney's house.

"Court!" You yelled as you pounded on her door.

Her mom answered the door. "Y/N? Are you okay? It's 8am."

"Oh, hey Helena," You greeted. "I'm fine, I just need to see Court."

Helena was in her robe, coffee mug in hand. "She's in her room," she said as she waved you in. She was obviously hungover from Midsummers.

You ran up to Courtney's room and busted inside, slamming the door behind you.

"Courtney!" You hissed as you jumped on her sleeping form. "Courtney, get up!"

"What the fuck?" She hissed, trying to push you off her.

"Courtney, I need you!"

"Okay, chill!" She said as she rubbed her eyes and sat up slightly. "What the fuck is going on?!"

"Me and Rafe had sex!"

"Oh my God!" She was up now. "How was it?!"

"I don't know, like, totally amazing," You said as you sat back on your knees.

Courtney looked over at her clock. "Wait, why are you here? Did you not stay at his house?"

You bit your lip and let your head fall to your hands. "I snuck out his window this morning."

"Y/N, why?!"

"I don't know!" You said as you stood up and ran your fingers through your hair. "I got scared."

"Y/N, he's your boyfriend."

"I'm aware, bitch. I just need a fucking minute!"

"Okay, well, like, did he make you cum?" Courtney asks.

You bite your lip and smile. "Multiple times," You sit down beside her. "Court, his dick is huge, and his tongue, oh my god." You fall back on her bed.

"Does your pussy hurt?!" Courtney asks excitedly, laying down beside you.

"I'm sore as fuck," You laugh. "I was bleeding after and he held me in the shower and washed me off and, Court, it was so fucking amazing."

"I'm so happy for you, Sunflower!" She said as she pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You felt your phone buzz underneath you.

"Is it Rafe?" Courtney asked, wide-eyed.

You pull your phone up. "Yeeeup,"

"What did he say?"

"He says 'Where are you? Are you okay?'"

"Tell him you're okay!" Courtney urges.

"Oh shit, he's calling me." You answer.

Y/N: Hey babe!

Rafe: Where'd you go, baby girl?

Y: Uhm, I'm at Courtney's.

Courtney: I got my period! I needed ice cream!

You were grateful for Courtney's cover.

R: Oh, well can I see you later?

Y: Yeah, yeah of course babe. We could meet at the club around noon?

R: Can't wait. Love you!

Y: Love you too!

"Oh my God." You sigh. "I'm a shitty girlfriend."

"Hey, no you're not," Courtney says as she takes your face between her hands. "You just lost your virginity. You're overwhelmed. It's completely normal."

You smile sadly at her. She presses her lips to your forehead. "Come on, let's get pretty," She says, dragging you off the bed and to her vanity. You smile as you sit in front of the mirror and get to work.

You spread sparkling purple shadow over your eyelids, lining a cat eye into your hood for effect. You pressed rhinestones all around your eyes and applied way too much blush to your cheeks.

Courtney stood behind you, straightening your hair as you finished your make up.

"Did it feel like love?" Courtney asks. "Like the sex? I've never loved anyone.."

You smile. "Yeah, it did."

Courtney smiles at you in the mirror. "You're so beautiful," She says as she runs her fingers through your perfectly straightened mane. "I'm so glad Rafe treats you well. I'd hate to have to slit his throat."

You laugh as you lean back against her. Keeping your eyes locked with hers in the mirror. "Do you ever want to fall inlove?" You ask.

Courtney shrugs. "Maybe. I just feel like I'm not ready to commit." She admits. "But watching you fall in love," She says as leans down and adjusts your hair over your shoulders. "Is all I could ever want." She kisses your cheek and walks in to her bathroom to fix her hair.

You fiddle with the 'R' that clings to your neck as you pick through Courtney's closet, already in your favorite blue bikini, you settle on a simple white dress. It hugs your breasts just right and comes down just past your ass, if you bend over you're sure to give people a show. You slip into a pair of Michael Kors flip flops and go to sit on Courtney's bed.

"You ready?" She asks. "Kelce and Top are already shitfaced."

"Did they even go home?" You chuckle.

"Probably not,"

You and Courtney run downstairs. "Headed to lunch, mom!" Courtney yells.

"Oh you girls look cute," Helena says as she gets up from the couch. "Meeting boys?"

"Y/N's dating Rafe Cameron," Courtney gushes.

"Oooh! He's a peach!" Helena says.

You blush. "Yes, yes he is. Love you, Hell!" You say as you pull Courtney out the front door.

"Wear condoms!" Helena shouts after the two of you.

You bite your lip as you stumble to Courtney's Mercedes. You and Rafe had not used a condom last night.

You climbed into the passenger seat. "Here, play something." Courtney said, throwing you the aux cord as she backed out out of the driveway.

"This song makes me feel alive," Courtney says as she lights a cigarette.

You giggle, taking a drag off the Newport when she hands it to you.

"I miss coke," You admit.

Courtney looks over to you. "Yeah? What about pills?"

You shrug. "Don't really care about pills. I just wanna be up."

"I have coke," Courtney says.

You turn to look at her. "Share bitch,"

"Y/N, I don't wa-"

"It's not opiates, Court. Come on, I really need a confidence boost. I'm actually nervous to see Rafe."

Courtney sighs as she pulls into the club. "Fine."

You clap your hands together. Courtney grabs the coke from her center console and pours out a pile, using her credit card to split it into four even lines. She rolls up two bills and hands one to you.

"Cheers bitch!" You say as you both lean down and inhale the lines. "Oh my fucking God," You say. "I fucking love cocaine."

You both hop out of the car and skip towards the club.

"Y/N!" You hear Rafe call after you. You and Courtney stop mid skip and turn to face him.

You swallow, trying to present yourself as normal. "Hey, babe!" You say, running and jumping into his arms.

Courtney stands awkwardly behind you. Failing at looking sober as she fidgeted.

Rafe notices and pulls back from you, taking your chin between his fingers as he forces you to look into his eyes.

"Are you high?" He asks, noticing your pupils are fucking popped.

"Shiiiit," Courtney says as she tries to sneak off.

"Did you get her high, Court?" Rafe asks as he places you on the ground.

Courtney backs away, hands up in defense. "She-"

"Yeah, I got high, Rafe." You interrupt. "I didn't do any fucking pills. Just a lil blow."

"Why?" He asks. His voice was broken. The fact that you had done drugs broke him.

"I-I don't know." You confess.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks. Tears filling his eyes.

"There they are!" Topper and Kelce approach the three of you. "Let's fucking eat!" Topper says, pushing you all into the club.

You sat between Courtney and Rafe awkwardly. Kelce and Topper order Mai Tai's for the table.

"You guys okay?" Topper asks as he notices the three of you looking down.

Rafe had his arm resting on the back of your chair, covering his mouth with his hand as he looked off in the distance.

You grasped Courtney's hand under the table as you felt a panic attack rise. You were enjoying your high until Rafe fucking ruined it.

"Awh, how cute." You heard a familiar voice say. "Wining and dining the junkies?" Maria said.

"Rafe, does your little junkie girlfriend make you cum like I did?" Jessica teases as she leans over the table.

"Oh, ya'll are dumb." Kelce says before you and Courtney stand up. You grab a steak knife off the table and lace your fingers through Jessica's hair. Courtney twists Maria's arm behind her back and pushes her towards the door.

All eyes were on you know as you pushed these sluts out of the club.

Rafe, Kelce, and Topper ran out after you.

You slammed your foot into the back of Jessica's knees. Causing her to cry out in pain and fall to the ground as you held the knife to her throat.

"I'm fucking sick of the two of you!" You scream.

Courtney throws Maria into the dirt and steps on her back so she can't move. "Stay down, bitch!"

You had the knife pressed so close to Jessica's throat blood was starting to trickle down her neck as she cried.

"If you two speak to us ever again, I will fucking kill you." You whisper in her ear.

"Hear that, bitch?" Courtney asks Maria, pressing the heel of her foot deeper into Maria's shoulder blades.

"Y/N!" Rafe yells, yanking you off of Jessica. You pry yourself out of his arms.

"You were with this cunt?" You ask, pointing your knife towards Jessica.

"Y/N, I don't-"

Before he could finish, the cops were pulling up to the club.

"Shit," Topper said. "Run!"

You and Courtney fucking booked it out of there. Taking off down the beach. You glanced at Courtney. She nodded her head, knowing exactly what you were thinking.

The two of you grew up swimming. You dived into the waves and swam your way out to sea.

"The cave!" Courtney yelled. You dived under the water and followed her to the secret spot the two of you shared. Courtney had showed you the mini cave when you first moved here. You promised each other you'd never tell anyone about it.

Once you both entered the cave you pulled yourself up on to the small shore that sat inside.

"We'll have to get out of here before the tide comes in," Courtney states.

"Did we just fuck up our lives?" You ask as you held your knees to your chest.

"No," She shakes her head. "We need a break from the boys. And those bitches can fucking die."

"Rafe hooked up with Jessica." You stated sadly.

"He doesn't care about that bitch," Courtney said. "She blew him for coke."

"Rafe's just been around and I'm so...inexperienced." You say.

"What does it matter? He loves you."

"Courtney," You start. "Love gets you hurt. I don't want that."

Courtney turns to look at you. "I'm here for whatever you choose. But I think you should stay with Rafe."

"Why?"

"You're pushing him away cuz you're scared. I've been on this island for four years. Rafe Cameron has never cared about anyone but himself until he met you."

You bite your lip and hug your knees to your chest, watching the salt water wash against your toes.

__________

"What happened here?" Shoupe asks.

Rafe, Kelce, and Topper back up, hands in the air.

"We were just checking on them. We heard a commotion and came out." Kelce explains.

"So you didn't see who did this to them?" Shoupe asks as the officers look over Jessica's wounds.

"It was Y/N and Courtney!" Maria yells.

"Your girlfriend is a fucking cunt!" Jessica spits at Rafe.

"Well maybe if you didn't constantly run your whore mouth!" Rafe says as he runs towards her. Topper and Kelce hold him back.

Tears fill Jessica's eyes. "Yeah, cry about it bitch!" Rafe yells. "You never meant shit to me! You're a fucking mess!"

"What's your fucking problem?!" Maria spits.

"My problem?! This piece of fucking garbage won't leave me alone and now the fucking woman I love swam out into the goddamn ocean! Why can't you two sluts just fucking drop dead!"

Topper and Kelce stayed quiet as the girls started crying.

Rafe spits in Jessica's direction. "You're a fucking cunt."

Rafe scoffs and heads towards the beach where you and Courtney had disappeared.

Maria comforts Jessica as she sobs.

"You guys should really of minded your own fucking business." Topper tells the girls before heading off after Rafe.

Shoupe pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm so fucking over these goddamn kids." He says. "Come on ladies, let's get you home."

"You're not going to go after that psycho bitch?" Maria yells. "She held a knife to Jess's throat!"

"We will have a dive team come out and look for them. They couldn't have gone far." Shoupe says as he helps Jess and Maria into the back of his car.

_____

"How much longer can we stay here before we drown?" You ask Courtney as the water came half way up your stomach.

"Probably one more hour," She admits, nuzzling against your shoulder. "We should probably get back to shore."

You nodded in agreement.

The sun was almost completely gone. Darkness draping the sky with a slight tinge of sunlight.

"You ready?" Courtney asks.

"Right behind you,"

Courtney dives into the water and you follow her. Making your way out of the cave and heading towards the shore.

You flip over, opting to back stroke so you could appreciate the sunset as you made your way back to land. Being in the water was where you preferred to be.

When you finally reached the sand you sat for a moment. Pressing your body against the warm grains.

"Baby!" Rafe said as he ran to your side. "Baby, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Rafe. I'm fine." You said dryly. Of course he was waiting for you on the beach.

"I was so worried." He said as he pulled your head to his chest.

You couldn't help yourself. You just wanted to push him away.

You tried to pull back. "No," Rafe said, bringing you back into him. "You're going to talk to me."

He helped you to your feet and ushered you down the beach.

"We'll be here!" Kelce yelled after you.

Once you were away from earshot Rafe let it all out. "Y/N, what did I do? What's going on?!"

You just lower your body to sit in the sand as you rest your head in your hands.

"You regret it." Rafe says. "I'm so fucking sorry. I would take it back if I could. I never meant to make you feel this way." Rafe sat beside you, tugging at his hair.

"No, baby..." You begin. "I don't regret it. Not at all. I just got scared." You look up to meet his gaze. "And...I'm just jealous that half these sluts on the island have slept with you." You clench your jaw.

"It's really not that many." Rafe says.

"I'll slit all their throats and drink their blood from a chalice." You mutter.

Rafe smiles, pulling you in to meet his lips. "You making that bitch bleed was the hottest thing I've ever seen."

"Why'd you stop me from killing her?" You ask, wrapping your fingers around his throat.

"Because I'd kill myself if you got locked up. Living without you is my worst nightmare."

You smile at his response.

"Fuck me, Rafe."

Rafe doesn't hesitate to untie your bikini and toss it to the side. He quickly pulls down his shorts and lines you up on top of him. Holding your hips, he helps you sink down onto him. You were still sore from last night but the stretch felt amazing.

Rafe Cameron was inlove with you. You could tell with each thrust as he ran his fingers through your hair.

"Beautiful girl," He said as he thrusted into you harder. "Absoluetly perfect."

"Shut up," You moaned.

"I can't help it. I'm obsessed with you," He says as he rolls you over, pressing your back to the sand. "You're God's most divine creation," He panted into your ear. "Aphrodite,"

"Rafe-" You could feel yourself reaching your high again.

"That's right, pretty girl, cum for me."

Rafe thrusts into you hard a few more times before he releases himself inside of you. You can feel his cum coating your walls and you wrap your legs around him, preventing him from leaving your body as you pulsed around him.

"We're going home," He whispers in your ear. He quickly helps you to your feet, wrapping your bikini bottoms back around your body and tying them sloppily.

You could feel Rafe's cum dripping from your body as you stumbled beside him. You could hardly stand. He wrapped his arm around your waist, keeping you upright.

"We're going to Y/N's. If you wanna ride, get to steppin'" Rafe demands.

Everyone stands up and heads towards the truck.

Courtney grabs your arm and pulls you behind the group. "Are you guys good?" She asks.

You smile and giggle. "Yeah, we're good."

_______

You and Rafe fucked like rabbits. Your friends could barely get the two of you to hang out. His hands were constantly groping your body. Just feeling him close to you turned you on.

"Can ya'll chill for like 5 minutes?" Courtney chuckled, pushing a shot towards you and Rafe.

You bit your lip and smiled at her.

"You're a horn dog," She said.

"Sex is addicting!" You giggle.

"Oh so Rafe is the best you've ever had?" Kelce teases.

You bite your lip. "Mhmm. Only man I've ever had. And I don't think anyone could compete." You say as you turn around and take Rafe's face between your hands.

"Wait, you were a virgin?" Topper asked shocked.

"Wait, what?" Kelce chimed in.

Courtney just laughed and sipped her drink as the boys jaws dropped to the floor.

Rafe pressed his tongue to his cheek as he tried to hide his smile.

"And you let this meatloaf take your virginity?" Topper added. Pointing at Rafe.

"He happens to be very good at what he does." You smile, pulling Rafe into a kiss.

Rafe kisses you back passionately as he flips off his friends.

"I dare you guys not to fuck for two days," Courtney says as she sits on the counter and pours shots. "You have to spend time with us," She motions to her, Kelce, and Topper.

"Yeah, I could actually use your help with this Sarah shit." Topper said sadly.

"She's with John B, huh?" You ask as Rafe sets you on the counter and rests his head against your shoulder.

"Yup, she wants to be a fucking Pogue." Topper hisses.

"Well cuz of you, her little Pogue boyfriend is living at my house now." Rafe scolds.

"Wait what? Why?" Courtney asked.

"Topper here pushed John B off the Hawk's Nest after Midsummers. Now my dad has taken him in."

"I didn't mean for him to fall, dude." Topper argued.

"Wait so John B is at Tannyhill?" You ask.

"Yep!"

Topper grinds his jaw. Hating the fact that he lost Sarah to a Pogue.

"Top, fuck her." You say. "She's a cunt. We all know that. You deserve a good girl. A fucking Kook princess."

"She was that," Topper said sadly.

"Look man, jokes on her cuz look who she's with." Rafe said, placing his hand on Topper's shoulder.

"And you don't have to go near Tannyhill," You told him. "You can stay here whenever. Rafe's always here anyways, besides when he's working. And Sarah can't come here. I'll tell her to kick rocks if she tries."

"Thanks," Topper offers sadly and throws back a shot. "How's things with your dad, Rafe?"

Rafe shrugs. "He's letting me work again. He's still an asshole though. It's all about Sarah."

You roll your eyes. Annoyed that Sarah Cameron was causing so many problems for the people you care about. "Come on!" You say as you hop down from the counter. "Let's go get drunk at the club!"

"DOWN!" Courtney agrees. "I can drive."

"We have our bikes," Rafe says, gesturing to Topper and himself. "Wanna go for a ride, baby?" Rafe asks as you all exit the house, grabbing your hips and pulling you into him so he can place wet kisses down your neck.

"Two days!" Courtney yells at you. "Come on, Kelce." Courtney and Kelce climb into Courtney's car and drive off.

Topper gets on his bike and takes off. "Here you go, sweetheart." Rafe says as he hands you his helmet. "Hang on tight, yeah?"

You nod in agreement and wrap your arms around his waist as he starts his bike and kicks off towards the club.

When you pulled up to the club, you slipped the helmet off your head and shook your hair out, running you fingers through the waves to get them unknotted.

"That was fun!" You told Rafe.

He smiled at you and threw his arm around your neck as he led you into the club. Heads turning as usual as you walked inside. You spotted Jessica and Maria glaring at you. You blew them a kiss and wrapped your arm tighter around Rafe, knowing he was yours and no one else's. The two bitches were even more upset now knowing that you had enough money at your disposal to get rid of any charges against you, no questions asked. It seems they finally learned to keep their goddamn noses out of your business.

You all grab drinks at the bar and you and Courtney lounge in some beach chairs and tan while the boys play corn hole.

"Did you see how mad they were?" Courtney laughs as she looks over at you, shielding her eyes from the sun.

"At least they've finally learned their lesson," You scoff. "I swear I was ready to kill her."

"You're a psycho,"

You laugh. "You know, I've felt a lot more calm lately."

"Cuz you're getting dicked down daily by that!" Courtney says as she turns to look at Rafe.

You follow her gaze, sliding your sunglasses down your nose as you admire your boyfriend. Your mouth watered at the sight of him. Ready for him to take you in the bathroom and fucking ruin you.

"Ugh, snap out of it!" Courtney groans. "You're worse than me!"

"I can't help it! He's just so fucking perfect. And his dick, my God, Courtney."

"You've told me. You're an addict." She chuckles.

"No shame," You say as you both lean back into the sun.

You sipped your drink as you listened to Topper continue to cry about Sarah. You were glad he was venting to the guys because you were quite frankly sick of hearing about her.

"RAFE CAMERROOONNN!" You hear a familiar voice yell.

"Oh shit, is that Barry?" Courtney asks as she looks towards the entrance of the club.

You hold your breath, remembering what he did to Rafe last time. You quickly pull your knife from your bag as you watch Rafe and Topper walk over to meet him.

"Y/N...don't." Courtney says but you ignore her, following the boys out to where Barry was obviously upset about something.

You stood back a bit as you listened to the boys talk.

"My little sister robbed you?!" Rafe asked, confusion in his voice. "Sarah wouldn't pick a dollar up off the street!"

Fucking Sarah again. You had tried to be kind to her at the beginning. Since you were so close to Rafe and Topper. But now, the bitch had another thing coming.

When Barry grabbed Rafe and threw him to the side you acted quickly. Whipping out your switch blade and standing between the two boys.

"Not another fucking step!" You hiss at Barry, trying your best to shield Rafe with your small figure.

Barry laughs. "Well shit, Country Club's got himself a lil body guard, huh!"

You feel Rafe wrap his arm around your chest and pull you back into him as you continued to point your knife at Barry, eyes narrowed, showing no trace of fear. You honestly weren't scared of him. You'd dealt with plenty of drug dealers back in LA and one coke head from the Cut wasn't going to take you down easy.

"Baby," Rafe whispered in your ear, pulling you back.

"I'd listen to your boyfriend, sweetheart," Barry teases you. "Ain't got much protecting you." He says as he eyes your body. All you had on was a bikini, you hadn't even bothered putting your shoes on.

You attempt to lunge towards him again but Rafe holds you back, now wrapping his other arm around you, trying to cover you from Barry's gaze.

"Figure this shit out with your sister, Cameron! If it's not from you it's from her! Remember that!" And with that, Barry walked back to his car and drove off.

"Jesus, Y/N!" Topper says, finally letting out the breath he'd been holding.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rafe asks, turning you around to face him.

You tucked your knife into the waist band of your bikini. "Protecting you," You spat back at him.

"Y/N, he's a maniac! He could have hurt you!"

You scoff. "You don't think I can handle my shit?"

"That's not what I'm saying! I just don't want you to get hurt! You gotta stop being stupid-" He stops himself when he sees the pain cross your face. "I didn't...I didn't mean that..."

You bit back your tears before pushing past him and making your way back into the club.

"Y/N!"

"Dude, what are we gonna do about this?" Topper asks Rafe, stopping him from going after you.

"It's not my problem, man."

"Rafe! This is Sarah we're talking about! Give Y/N a minute to cool off before she pulls a knife on you too."

Rafe looks at you one more time and then back at Topper. "Alright, let's go."

_____

"Can you take me home, Court?" You ask as you throw your knife in your bag and slip your shorts on.

"Uh, yeah. What was that all about?"

"Doesn't matter. You have any yay?"

"Some. Not sure if I'll be able to get more after you just pulled a knife on Barry!" She scolds.

"You can just fuck him for more."

Courtney scoffs. "What's your problem?!"

You sit down and sigh. "I'm sorry, Court. Rafe just..."

She sits down beside you.

"He got pissed at me for wanting to protect him."

She lays her head on your shoulder. "I'm sorry, babes. He didn't mean it. He just wants to keep you safe."

"I want to keep him safe too."

"And you do. It's just a guy thing. Not the best look for them when their tiny girlfriend is more threatening than them."

You both laugh.

"Come on. Let's go home. I'm sure Rafe will come back after he's chilled out."

You nod. "Okay."

____

You railed your fourth and final line of coke.

"All gone," Courtney says sadly as she sucks on the bag.

You had told Rafe you wouldn't do it again. Not after the other day. But you were stupid right? Stupid bitches do stupid shit.

Courtney sat and played with your butterfly knife as you sat back on your bed, irritated as hell.

"I'm getting pretty good at this!" She said as she flipped it around her fingers. You had far too many knives for a 19 year old girl. But you didn't like guns. And growing up in LA, you learned you needed protection. Plus, they were fun. You'd get them custom made in cute colors to match all your outfits.

You heard the front door open and close and you sighed. You silently prayed it was your dad, even though you knew he was in fucking Ireland, maybe he'd come home early. You were still upset with Rafe and not ready to deal with him.

But of course, Rafe Cameron walks into your room. His eyes were bloodshot, as were yours. The tension hung thick in the air.

"I'm gonna go..." Courtney announced. She placed the knife on your bed and slipped out past Rafe. "Call me later!"

You and Rafe stared at eachother for a moment. Accepting the fact you were both absolutely zooted.

"Thought you were done with coke?" Rafe said, taking a few steps towards your bed.

"Stupid girls do stupid things," You said sadly.

"Y/N, I didn't mean that." He sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed. "I was just upset. Scared. The thought of someone hurting you..."

You sit up and meet his gaze.

"Look, I know you were just trying to protect me. I love you for that. But if I was the reason something happened to you..."

"Rafe," You began. "I feel the same way about you. But I need you to know that I will always protect you. I'd die for you."

"I don't want to live without you..." His voice breaks as he says it.

"So don't..." You say as you inch towards him. "We die together."

Rafe looks up at you. "What do you mean?"

"Like Romeo and Juliet. You die, I'm coming with. I die, you follow me."

Rafe smiles at your words. "That sounds like a fucking deal to me," He says, leaning in and kissing you.

"I want my name on your skin," You breathe.

"I want mine on yours. You're mine, til death do us part."

[f14fun]

lay all your love on me - op81 (C2)

synopsis: in which oscar piastri and a university student begging for her euro summer vacation collide in a steamy, abba-inspired romance

prose (6.1K words) ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist | series index ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────────────

02: Love, Sweat, and Secondhand Embarrassment

"Clemmy I swear I wanted to die that entire time. Whoever I offended in an alternate universe I am so so sorry, I truly believe karma is real now," I lamented, voice weak.

Burying my head in my pillow, I could finally appreciate the cool blast of AC (well, it was a little bit of air conditioning but a little is better than nothing) I scratched my right leg that was hoisted up onto the blue duvet cover. If not for the horrible comedic timing of everything, in that moment, I might have said that I was enjoying myself.

On the other line of the phone, thousands of miles away, it was a completely different story.

"What the fuck," Clementine could barely muster out because she was laughing so hard.

"I still don't think any part of this story is funny, Clem," I roll my eyes and trail off.

"But it is! You genuinely should consider a career in stand-up comedy. If you recounted all of this in front of a paying live audience, I'm just saying it could make you a millionaire overnight," Clementine wheezed.

"Oh, shut up, bitch," I retorted, trying to suppress a smile despite my mortification.

"You know it's true though!" Her girlish giggles rang through my room. I could see her face through the screen and it looked like visible tears were streaming down her face from how funny she found this to be.

"I am completely and utterly humiliated. There is no way I can go downstairs and face everyone right now," I whined. It was true, as twenty minutes ago, mid-Facetime with Clementine, I heard the door to the foyer open and heard a lot of new noises.

New people. The neighbors. The rest of the Australians.

Crikey, mate.

There was no way I could face them. And since Oscar was probably their son (he looked way too young to be a father) he had probably already told them about the wretched and humiliating mishap.

"Seriously, Clemmy, you don’t get it," I said, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice but failing miserably. "This is not just some embarrassing story. This is my life, and I have to face these people now."

Clementine’s laughter finally started to subside, and she took a deep breath. "Okay, okay, I get it. But you have to admit, this is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of disaster. You can’t just ignore it. It’s like the universe is telling you to embrace the chaos."

I sighed, feeling a bit more grounded with her calming tone. "Yeah, well, I’m not exactly feeling the universe’s love right now. I feel like I’ve been dropped into some kind of sitcom. And what if they think I’m a total klutz? I can’t even begin to imagine how Oscar must’ve described me."

"It'll be fine. You are a pro at handling horrible situations. I mean, I can really only think that you have had more bad experiences with guys than good ones!" Clem tried to reassure me.

"Wow, thanks," I deadpanned. "Way to make a girl feel special."

Clementine's voice was full of playful sympathy. "Hey, I’m just saying, you’ve survived everything life’s thrown at you so far. Besides, look at it this way: if they’re judging you based on this one incident, they’re missing out on getting to know the amazing person you are."

"Yeah, because nothing says 'amazing' like face-planting into a pile of shampoo and knocking over a bunch of cleaning supplies," I said, sarcasm dripping from my tone.

Clementine laughed. "Exactly! And let’s be honest, if they do judge you for this, they’re definitely not worth your time. Besides, Oscar might even think you’re charming in a clumsy, endearing kind of way. You never know."

"You should really consider a career in therapy. If I lay here and close my eyes for a bit and sleep for three hours surely your advice will work," I retorted.

"Oh be so serious with me now,"

"I am! Now I can add a new skill to my LinkedIn profile," I said, trying to stifle a giggle. "How about 'Expert in Catastrophic Bathroom Mishaps: Master of Turning Shower Encounters into Slapstick Comedy'?"

Clementine burst into laughter. “That’s quite a title! It’s like you’ve got a whole new niche market for yourself.”

“Right? I’m just waiting for the endorsement from ‘The Association of Embarrassing Bathroom Incidents,’” I said, imagining a badge with that exact title. What a big, fat, fucking joke.

“Or maybe you'll become the keynote speaker for the 'International Conference on Unexpected Water-Based Accidents,’” Clementine added, her voice full of amusement.

“I’ll make sure to include a workshop on ‘How to Survive a Bathroom Collision with Dignity and Humor,’” I said with a chuckle. “And don’t forget the seminar on ‘Turning Slip-and-Fall Disasters into Networking Opportunities.’”

“A career to consider!” Clementine laughed. “And you know what? I’ll be your first fan. Just remember to keep me updated on how your new ‘disastrous bathroom mishap’ career is going.”

“I’ll make sure to do that,” I promised with a smile. “Thanks for the laugh. It’s nice to know that even in the middle of a fiasco, I can count on you to turn it into a comedy show.”

"What can I say, I will never turn down listening to a free shit show," Clementine winked at me through the camera.

"Clem! What the hell!" I waved my manicured pointed nail at her.

"Bye! Don't die from embarrassment before you come back!" She quipped, then promptly hung up.

I lay sprawled on my bed, dreading the thought of going downstairs and facing the group of new neighbors. The whole idea made me cringe. I was just about to mentally prepare myself for the awkward introductions when a sudden knock on my door jolted me upright. My heart raced as I called out lazily, “Come in.”

The door creaked open, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Oscar standing there. His eyebrow was raised, and he wore a cheeky grin that did nothing to ease my nerves.

"Well, well, well," he said with an amused smirk. "Looks like you’ve been having quite the chat with 'dearest Clemmy,' haven’t you?"

My face flushed beet red, and I stuttered, struggling to find my words. “W-What are you doing here?”

Oscar leaned casually against the doorframe, clearly enjoying my discomfort. “Oh, you know, just overheard you and Clemmy talking about our little mishap. I believe you mentioned something about me being ‘a charming yet infuriating Aussie who managed to turn your bathroom break into a comedy skit.’”

I blinked, stunned into silence. My mouth opened and closed, but no coherent words came out. The sheer embarrassment was overwhelming. Oscar’s casual demeanor and his cheeky grin only made things worse.

“What can I say, my name was called,” Oscar continued with a mischievous glint in his eye. “If someone keeps calling you hot, I mean, wouldn’t you be too curious to listen?”

His smirk only made my breath hitch and my fingers tremble a little more. I could feel my cheeks burning, and I struggled to come up with a response. The playful glint in his eye and his casual attitude did nothing to alleviate my embarrassment. Instead, they only made me feel more flustered.

I took a deep breath, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “W-Well, I guess I didn’t think anyone would be actually listening.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow playfully, his smirk widening. “Oh, I’m sure you didn’t. But it was too good to pass up. Especially the part where you called me a ‘human wrecking ball.’”

My face flushed a deeper shade of crimson. “Great. Just great,” I muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m sure I’ve made a fantastic first impression.”

Oscar chuckled, leaning casually against the doorframe. “Look, it’s all good. I’ve seen worse first impressions. Trust me. At least you didn’t accidentally set off the fire alarm or flood the place.”

I managed a weak smile, still feeling the sting of embarrassment. “Yeah, well, I’ll try to keep any future disasters to a minimum.”

Look at me, constantly embarrassing myself in front of hot guys. This was the exact reason why I was still bitchless and socially awkward at the ripe age of twenty-one. I could navigate a spreadsheet like a pro, ace exams, and even master the perfect contour, but put me in a room with a cute guy, and I turned into a walking calamity.

I sighed internally, already dreading the inevitable teasing I’d get from Clemmy once she found out I had, yet again, failed to keep my cool around a guy. Maybe I should’ve just stayed in the bathroom and let the ground swallow me whole.

Oscar raised an eyebrow, studying me with a curious look. “You know, you seem like a completely different person right now. Way quieter, more shy… less daring.”

My face flushed with a mix of irritation and embarrassment. “That’s not true,” I snapped, crossing my arms defensively. “I’m exactly the same as I was before.”

Oscar’s grin widened, clearly enjoying the effect his words had on me. “Sure, if you say so. But the girl who almost took me down like a rugby player in the bathroom seemed a lot more fearless.”

My nose flared as I shot him a glare, feeling the fire of indignation rise within me. Who did he think he was, making assumptions about me? I’ll show him just how brave I can be, I thought, my fists clenching. If he wanted to see daring, then I’d make sure he regretted ever doubting me. The nerve of this guy! He might have been hot, but that didn’t give him the right to push my buttons like this.

Oscar gave me a lopsided grin, clearly pleased with himself. "Anyway, everyone’s heading downstairs to meet each other. Figured I’d let you know, since, you know, it’s probably not the best idea to hide out up here forever."

My stomach twisted with nerves at the thought of facing everyone after that humiliating encounter. The idea of meeting new people while still reeling from my disastrous introduction to Oscar was daunting. But there was no way I was going to let him see how nervous I actually was. I took a deep breath, nodding stiffly. "Fine, let’s get this over with."

As we walked out of the room and toward the stairs, I could feel Oscar’s presence behind me—large, imposing, and annoyingly close. My face heated up, and I silently cursed myself for blushing yet again. Why did this guy have to make everything so difficult?

It was like shooting a sitting duck. A little small talk, a smile, and baby, I was stuck. I was a grown woman, for god’s sake, not some teenager swooning over a crush. But there I was, getting flustered over a guy I barely knew. Get a grip, I told myself, trying to shake off the absurdity of the situation. This wasn’t supposed to happen—I wasn’t supposed to be this easily charmed.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I hesitated, gripping the railing a little longer than usual. I could feel Oscar’s gaze on me, and it only made my nerves worse. Just as I was about to take the first step down, his hand brushed against mine. The contact was brief but enough to send a jolt of awareness through me. His hand was rough with calluses, moderately enveloping mine in a way that felt both comforting and disarming.

What was it about this guy that made me feel so uncharacteristically off-balance? As I tried to steady my racing thoughts, I reminded myself that I had to keep it together. After all, I wasn’t about to let some smooth-talking Aussie turn me into a lovesick fool—no matter how much my traitorous heart seemed to enjoy the challenge.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs, my eyes were drawn to two adults who were deep in conversation with my mom. Their warm, friendly demeanor and unmistakable Australian accents told me they were Oscar’s parents. They seemed just as lively and outgoing as he was, which only added to the strangeness of this entire situation.

Then, I spotted Oscar’s siblings—a trio of sisters who looked like carbon copies of him, yet each had her own distinct vibe, like different fonts of the same typeface. They were laughing and joking with each other, their bond evident in the way they effortlessly engaged in light-hearted banter. I felt a pang of envy, wishing I had siblings to share that kind of closeness with.

My daydream was abruptly shattered when Oscar’s large, warm hand clasped onto my shoulder, his fingers pressing gently but firmly against my skin. The unexpected touch sent a jolt through me, making me jump slightly as a flush of heat rushed to my cheeks. His chuckle, deep and amused, rumbled behind me, the sound wrapping around me like a teasing caress. He was standing on the step just above me, close enough that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. His presence was unmistakably felt—broad, solid, and way too close for comfort, yet somehow not close enough.

His fingers lingered on my shoulder, almost as if he was testing my reaction, and I could feel the warmth radiating from his touch, seeping into my skin. The space between us seemed to shrink with every passing second, and I could barely concentrate on anything but the weight of his hand and the steady beat of my heart hammering in my chest.

Oscar leaned in slightly, his voice low and smooth as honey. “Jumpier than I thought,” he drawled, his tone dripping with playful mischief. “Didn’t take you for the shy type. Especially not after our little bathroom tango.” His grin widened, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a way that was both infuriating and ridiculously charming.

My pulse quickened at the way he was looking at me—those eyes sparkling with amusement, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. I swallowed hard, my mind racing to come up with a retort, but all I could focus on was how his hand, still resting on my shoulder, felt both protective and possessive. The air between us crackled with a tension that was impossible to ignore, and I had to remind myself to breathe.

I could quite literally cut the sexual tension with the dullest fucking butterknife in the world.

I tried to muster a sharp retort, something that would wipe that smug grin off his face, but my brain was too busy short-circuiting to cooperate. All I could manage was a stuttered, “I-I’m not shy! You just—caught me off guard, that’s all.” The words tumbled out, weak and unconvincing, and I mentally cringed at how feeble they sounded.

Oscar’s grin only grew, clearly enjoying my flustered state. He leaned in a little closer, his gaze locked on mine with a playful intensity that made my heart skip a beat. “Off guard, huh?” he murmured, his voice dipping lower. “So, you’re saying if I hadn’t surprised you, you’d be able to keep up?”

I opened my mouth to respond, determined to regain some semblance of dignity, but nothing clever came out. Instead, I just stood there, caught between wanting to pull away from his teasing and feeling inexplicably drawn to his warmth. His hand slid from my shoulder, and the absence of his touch left a surprising chill in its wake.

Realizing that my window for a comeback was closing, I finally managed to sputter, “Y-Yeah, exactly.” I immediately cursed myself for sounding so pathetic. Not exactly the sharp comeback I was hoping for. His smirk deepened, and I could tell he wasn’t buying it for a second.

“Sure, whatever you say,” Oscar replied, his tone still dripping with amusement. He straightened up, giving me a quick wink before stepping down to the next stair. The playful glint in his eyes told me he knew exactly how much he was getting under my skin, and he was loving every second of it.

As he moved past me, I finally found my voice—too little, too late—and muttered under my breath, “Cocky bastard.” But it was quiet enough that I hoped he didn’t hear it. To my dismay, Oscar paused, turning back with a raised eyebrow and an even wider grin.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that,” he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Care to repeat it?”

My cheeks flamed as I quickly shook my head. “Nope, nothing. Let’s just… go meet everyone.”

Oscar’s grin didn’t falter as he took a step closer, still looming above me. “You know,” he began, his voice casual but with that familiar teasing edge, “I’ve already met everyone else. Your mom, too. And I’ve gotta say, you two seem like complete opposites.”

I blinked up at him, caught off guard again. “Opposites?”

He nodded, leaning against the wall with that effortless ease he seemed to have perfected. “Yep. Your mom’s all smiles and warm welcomes. You, on the other hand… well, you’ve got this whole ‘ready to throw punches’ vibe going on.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to gauge whether he was being serious or just messing with me again. “I do not have a ‘ready to throw punches’ vibe.”

Oscar’s lips twitched like he was holding back a laugh. “Oh, you totally do. But don’t worry,” he added with a playful smirk, “it’s kind of endearing. Keeps things interesting.”

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. “Glad to know I’m so entertaining for you.”

He shrugged, unfazed. “Hey, I’m just saying, opposites attract, right? Besides, your mom already likes me. You could take a few notes.”

His comment sent a fresh wave of warmth to my cheeks, both from irritation and something I couldn’t quite place. “I don’t need notes from you,” I shot back, though my voice lacked its usual bite.

Oscar just chuckled, giving me one last teasing wink before turning to head down the stairs. “Whatever you say, mate. Just try not to tackle anyone else while you’re at it.”

"Well well well, what do we have here?" A girl with short hair and a devious grin matching Oscar's grinned at me as well entered the kitchen. Shimmering her hands like "jazz hands", she rolled her eyes and rested her chin in the palm of her hand.

I turned to face the new arrival, immediately recognizing her as one of Oscar’s sisters—one of the three siblings who seemed to share his penchant for mischief. Her cropped hair and sharp, playful eyes made her look like she’d just stepped out of a rom-com where she was the resident troublemaker, always stirring the pot and having a laugh at everyone else’s expense.

“Hey, party people,” she said, her voice dripping with a teasing lilt. She shot me a grin that was almost a mirror image of Oscar’s, mischievous and knowing, like she was in on some inside joke I hadn’t been let in on yet. I could feel the same heat from before creeping up my neck. Why did it feel like these siblings were reading me like an open book?

“Looks like someone’s already made a grand entrance,” she continued, flicking her eyes between me and Oscar with an amused smirk. “Oscar’s been talking about you nonstop since we got here. Said something about a ‘bathroom fiasco’ that deserves an award?”

I shot a glare at Oscar, who was leaning casually against the counter, looking far too pleased with himself. “Did he now?” I said, trying to keep my voice steady despite the mortification clawing at me.

The girl laughed, light and musical, but with an edge that told me she was fully enjoying every bit of this. “Oh yeah, he’s been filling us in. But don’t worry, we’re used to his tall tales. I’m Hattie, by the way,” she added, extending a hand with exaggerated enthusiasm as if we were meeting on the set of a game show rather than in my kitchen.

I hesitated for a beat before shaking her hand, trying to muster a smile that didn’t look too forced. “Nice to meet you, Hattie. I’m—”

“Oh, I know who you are,” she interrupted, her grin widening. “You’re the girl who almost took out my brother. Honestly, I’m impressed. No one’s ever managed to knock him off his game quite like that.”

I glanced at Oscar, who was watching the exchange with an infuriatingly smug look on his face. Maisie’s comment hung in the air, both a compliment and a lighthearted jab. I couldn’t help but feel like I was once again the butt of some inside joke between the siblings.

“Yeah, well, it’s a special talent of mine,” I said, trying to sound casual but feeling like every word was being scrutinized. “Guess I just have that effect.”

Hattie laughed, the sound bright and unapologetically amused. “Oh, I like you already. But hey, if you’re gonna hang out with us, you better be ready for a little friendly chaos. And maybe a few more unexpected collisions.”

Oscar gave a soft snort of laughter, and I could feel his eyes still on me, assessing, teasing, and—annoyingly—almost impressed. I tried to ignore the butterflies that seemed to be staging a full-on rebellion in my stomach. Clearly, this family thrived on playful torment, and I had somehow found myself right in the middle of it.

“Don’t worry,” I said, straightening up and forcing a confident smile. “I think I can handle whatever you guys throw at me.”

Hattie's eyes sparkled with mischief, and she gave me a mock salute. “That’s the spirit. Welcome to the chaos, mate.”

Oscar chuckled again, giving me that damn wink before pushing off from the counter. “Oh, she’s ready for it. Trust me, she’s already made quite the impression.”

The other two girls strolled in, each with their own distinct energy that filled the room. One had a fierce, confident look, dark hair tied up in a messy bun, and a leather jacket that screamed ‘cooler-than-you’ vibes. The youngest, a curly-haired, bright-eyed whirlwind, practically bounced into the kitchen, her infectious smile lighting up the space.

“So,” I said, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sudden influx of new faces. “I’ve met Oscar, obviously, and… Hattie, right?” I glanced at the girl who had first greeted me, who nodded with a playful smile. “But I’m afraid I haven’t gotten your names yet,” I continued, pointing between the other two sisters.

The girl with the leather jacket gave me a wry grin, leaning casually against the counter. “I’m Edie,” she said, her voice dripping with casual confidence. “The cooler, smarter middle child.”

Mae, the youngest, immediately chimed in, rolling her eyes at her sister. “And I’m Mae, the fun one,” she said with a giggle, her curls bouncing as she hopped up onto a stool. “Edie’s just mad she wasn’t born with my charm.”

Edie snorted, pretending to be offended. “Please, you’re like a tiny tornado of chaos. But yeah, I guess she’s not wrong,” she added, shooting me a smirk. “Mae’s got a way of making everything a little… livelier.”

I couldn’t help but smile at their playful back-and-forth. “Nice to officially meet you all. And thanks for the heads-up on your brother’s antics,” I said, glancing at Oscar, who was watching the exchange with an amused glint in his eye.

“Oh, trust me,” Hattie added, her grin widening as she nudged Oscar with her elbow. “We’ve got years of experience keeping this one in line. You’re welcome to join the effort.”

Oscar threw his hands up in mock surrender. “Wow, ganging up on me already? This is why I never bring girls home,” he joked, though there was a hint of genuine warmth in his voice, like he was more than used to—and secretly enjoyed—their teasing.

Mae leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Just wait till we start telling you all the embarrassing stories. Oscar’s got quite a few, and we’ve got no problem spilling the tea.”

Oscar smirked, shifting his weight just enough to close the distance between us, his presence suddenly feeling a lot closer, a lot warmer. He leaned in with a casual ease, his movements smooth and unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world to make me squirm. His voice dropped into a playful, low tone, rich and velvety, each word dripping with deliberate charm. “Oh, don’t worry about them,” he murmured, his gaze locked onto mine with an intensity that made my heart skip a beat. “I’d much rather hear your stories. You’re far more interesting than anything they could say about me.”

The way he looked at me was like I was the only person in the room, his eyes lingering on mine with a bold, flirtatious glint that sent a shiver down my spine. His grin was maddeningly confident, a little crooked, and devastatingly irresistible—the kind of smile that made it clear he knew exactly what he was doing. It was teasing, suggestive, and far too charming for its own good, like he was daring me to blush, daring me to react.

I felt the heat creeping up my neck, a slow burn that spread across my cheeks, making my skin prickle with the sudden awareness of how close he was. My mind scrambled for something clever to say, but his flirtatious tone, the way his eyes roved over my face as if he was reading every reaction, left me tongue-tied. It was like he was peeling back layers with just a look, searching for the part of me that he could fluster with a few well-placed words and that infuriating smile.

I tried to steady my breath, but his proximity was overwhelming. I could catch the faint scent of his cologne—fresh, with a hint of something spicy—and the subtle shift of his body as he leaned closer sent my senses into overdrive. Every nerve seemed to hum in response to his nearness, and I could feel my face burning hotter, betraying me with every second that I failed to look away.

Edie made a gagging noise, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Ew, Oscar, seriously? Can you not flirt for like five seconds? It’s embarrassing.”

Mae giggled, giving Oscar a playful shove. “Yeah, gross. No one wants to see that. Save it for when we’re not around, Romeo.”

Hattie snorted, shaking her head as she watched Oscar with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “He’s always like this. Thinks he’s Mr. Smooth. Don’t let him get to you.”

But Oscar only chuckled, clearly unfazed by his sisters’ teasing. He turned back to me, his grin widening as he caught sight of my flushed cheeks. “Aww, look at that,” he said, his voice soft and teasing. “Did I make you blush? How cute.”

I quickly tried to hide my face, mortification bubbling up as I realized there was no escaping the heat radiating from my cheeks. “N-No, you didn’t,” I stammered, though the pink tint on my face said otherwise.

Oscar’s smirk deepened, and he leaned in just a little closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re not very good at hiding it, you know. It’s kind of endearing.”

I could practically feel my cheeks getting even more red, if that was even possible. His sisters snickered behind us, enjoying the show as much as they enjoyed tormenting him.

Mae nudged Hattie, whispering loud enough for everyone to hear, “He’s really laying it on thick, huh? Someone needs to put a leash on this one.”

Hattie snickered and turned to me, giving me an exaggeratedly sympathetic look. “Don’t worry, he does this to everyone. It’s part of his ‘charm offensive.’ Just don’t let him get away with it too easily.”

“Yeah, make him work for it,” Edie added with a laugh. “And don’t let that blush fool you. He’s got enough of an ego without you feeding it.”

Oscar just shrugged, clearly unbothered by his sisters’ ribbing. He kept his eyes on me, his smile softening just slightly. “They’re just jealous because they know I’m right. You really are something else.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to fight the smile that was creeping onto my face despite my best efforts. “You’re impossible,” I muttered, crossing my arms in an attempt to compose myself.

Oscar leaned back, finally giving me a bit of space but not without one last wink. “Impossible’s my specialty,” he said, the playful challenge hanging in the air.

Hattie clapped her hands together, breaking the charged silence that had wrapped around us. “Alright, lovebirds, let’s change the scene before this kitchen gets any steamier,” she said with a sly grin, glancing between Oscar and me. “What do you say we all head out to the pool? It’s hot as hell today, and I could use a swim.”

Mae’s eyes lit up at the suggestion, and she bounced on her toes with excitement. “Yes, please! I’ve been dying to jump in all morning. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Edie shrugged, pushing off the counter. “Sounds like a plan. Beats sitting around here watching Oscar make a fool of himself,” she said, shooting her brother a pointed look that he brushed off with a careless smirk.

I hesitated, caught off guard by the sudden change in plans. The thought of the pool—cool water, bright sun, and lounging with these new, vibrant personalities—was tempting, but my mind immediately jumped to what that would mean: changing into a bikini, being under the sun's scrutiny, and, worse, the idea of Oscar’s eyes on me again, but this time with even less to hide behind.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said, trying to sound casual, though my heart was starting to race for an entirely different reason now. “Just give me a minute to get changed.”

As I slipped back into my room, I rummaged through my suitcase, finding the bright bikini I had packed on a whim but hadn’t quite planned on wearing in front of a whole audience of strangers. It was a pretty number—a little more revealing than I was used to—but suddenly, the idea of wearing it around Oscar felt daunting. My insecurities bubbled up: the nagging thoughts of whether my stomach was flat enough, if my thighs looked alright, or if the faint stretch marks I tried so hard to ignore would be too noticeable under the bright afternoon sun.

I took a deep breath, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I tugged at the fabric, trying to adjust it in a way that made me feel more comfortable, but the nerves wouldn’t settle. I could already imagine Oscar’s eyes lingering on me, his playful smirk turning into something more appraising, and the thought sent a rush of heat to my cheeks. God, why was I letting this get to me? It was just a pool. Just a bikini. Just Oscar. But the more I tried to rationalize, the more those little fears crept in, whispering doubts that made my stomach churn.

I was so lost in my own thoughts, adjusting and readjusting the strings and trying to silence the negative self-talk, that I nearly jumped out of my skin when a sudden knock rattled my door. My heart leaped into my throat, and I spun around, my breath catching as I called out, “W-Who is it?”

“It’s me,” came Oscar’s familiar voice, muffled but still clear enough to send a jolt of nerves through me. “Just checking to see if you’re alright in there. You’ve been quiet, and, well, didn’t want you chickening out on us.”

His tone was light, but there was something softer in it, something that caught me off guard. It wasn’t the usual teasing or the cocky one-liners I’d grown accustomed to in the short time I’d known him. This felt… genuine. A flicker of concern threaded through his words, almost like he actually cared if I was okay. My cheeks flushed anew, this time from the unexpected warmth of his attention rather than embarrassment.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my cover-up as I tried to piece together my swirling thoughts. Was this the same Oscar who had been smirking at me in the kitchen, flirting shamelessly in front of his sisters? The same Oscar who seemed to relish every moment he made me blush or stumble over my words? It was strange, almost disarming, to hear him like this—concerned, attentive, with none of his usual bravado.

My heart fluttered at the thought. What if there was more to him than just the cheeky guy who lived for teasing? I couldn’t help but feel a small, unexpected tug in my chest, an urge to believe that this side of him was real and not just some act. But then, just as quickly, my rational side kicked in, reminding me that I’d known Oscar for all of three hours, most of which had been spent flustered and caught up in his whirlwind of charm.

Was I reading too much into this? Was I letting my own insecurities and wishful thinking color my perception of him? It was hard not to, especially when he swung so easily between flirty and sincere, keeping me constantly off-balance. I barely knew this guy, yet here I was, letting my mind wander into dangerous territory, imagining depth and sincerity that might not even be there.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to steady my thoughts. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions—didn’t want to let a few kind words make me think I’d seen some hidden side of him. But it was hard not to feel flustered when his voice had softened like that, when he’d taken the time to check on me instead of just joking about how long I was taking.

The knock on my door, the concern in his tone—it all felt so different from the playful Oscar who’d swaggered into my life just a few hours ago. Maybe it was nothing, just a moment of decency, a brief glimpse of something real behind the jokes and teasing. Or maybe I was just overthinking, desperate to see something more in him because he’d managed to get under my skin in a way I wasn’t quite prepared for.

I sighed, feeling my cheeks heat up once more as the realization hit me—I was blushing again, and not just from embarrassment this time. There was something about Oscar, something that made me want to believe he was more than the carefree charmer he projected. But whether that was true or just wishful thinking, I couldn’t be sure. Not yet.

“I-I’m fine!” I called back, trying to steady my voice, but it came out shaky, betraying the mix of anxiety and embarrassment that had settled in my chest. “Just… getting ready.”

There was a pause on the other side of the door, long enough that I thought he might have walked away. But then, Oscar’s voice cut through again, softer this time, and with a teasing edge. “You sure? I promise no one’s gonna judge you out there. Least of all me.”

The reassurance felt sincere, but I couldn’t help the way my mind raced with all the what-ifs. What if he did look? What if I didn’t look good enough? What if this stupid bikini made me feel more exposed than I could handle? I glanced at myself one last time in the mirror, trying to summon the confidence that I usually wore so easily, but right now felt like it was hiding somewhere I couldn’t reach.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I finally managed, forcing a smile I hoped he couldn’t hear through the door. “Just... give me a sec. I’ll be right out.”

“Take your time,” Oscar said, his voice fading as he finally moved away from the door. “But don’t take too long. You don’t wanna miss the fun.”

As his footsteps retreated, I let out a shaky breath, trying to collect myself. I ran a hand through my hair, giving myself one last pep talk before heading out. It was just a pool day, I reminded myself. Just a stupid pool day with some new people and a guy who was way too good at making me blush. And maybe, just maybe, it would be fun—if I could get out of my own head long enough to let it be.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────────────

taglist! @mingyusbigrighttoe @theblueblub @demandealalune @linnygirl09

[cloudcountry]

when this is over ⤿ keigo deserves to be cherished.

tags: he acts like a bird...i'm not sorry!! soft hawks, biting, thoughts of marriage.

The soft cooing and chattering from Keigo is the only noise in the otherwise silent bedroom. His head rests comfortably in your lap, the skin he touches tingling. His hair is wild and free from flying around all day, and you run your fingers through the strands in an attempt to smooth it down. He nuzzles your thigh, nipping at the fat affectionately, and you squirm at the feeling of his stubble tickling your skin.

Keigo latches onto your thighs, gloved hands rough against you but his touch is so so gentle. His pupils are blown wide, eyes staring straight into your own, lips curling into the softest smile. He holds you in place as he nudges your flesh with his nose, pressing a soft kiss to your skin. You giggle at the feeling, wiggling your hips to try and get away from the ticklish sensation, but Keigo holds you tight. Hero training was no joke—his grip strength was strong and you were powerless against it.

“It’s not fair.” you say softly, “I want to kiss you too.”

His flushes, pretty and pink and yours, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. It’s precious, the way he avoids your eyes now, hands clenching and unclenching against your thighs as he thinks it over. Only you could turn him into a blushing, unsure man, his wings shrinking against his back, cautious and embarrassed for the first time in his life.

“Patience.” he says softly, unrelenting in his grip and his mouth, biting you just a little harder for your teasing.

You laugh, bringing a hand up to your mouth to muffle the sounds. His wings knock against your cheek, the feathers brushing against you as if they’re reprimanding you for laughing at him. It only makes you laugh harder, and in his petty display of dominance, Keigo slides himself down the bed and grabs your ankles, pulling you with him.

“Keigo!” you shriek, laughter bursting free from your lips, filling the once quiet room with squeals and gasps.

He looks smug, always elated to have made you laugh, his elbows coming to rest on either side of your head. He stares down at you, lovingly and quietly, waiting until your laughter dies down and there’s nothing between you except for your heaving chest.

He’s so lucky he gets to share these things with you. Something so unique and pretty and soft, filling his chest until he fears he will pop. If he did, he’d surely burst into the color of your eyes and the way your laugh sounds and the memories of your smile he has forever saved in his mind.

He coos softly, wings swooping over the sides of the bed, trapping the two of you in a canopy of red feathers. Your gaze is torn away from him in favor of his feathers, your mouth falling into an awed “o,” your fingers reaching out to stroke the top of his wing. He tilts it closer to you, shuddering as you pet him, your hands growing more confident the more he allows you to do.

Keigo doesn’t even notice he’s lowering his head until he finds himself resting on your chest, eyes fluttering shut at your soft touch.

Being a Pro is hard. It always will be. Keigo wants to make it easier, but all that means for him is that his job is even more difficult. You purse your lips, tempted to say something, but knowing that ultimately Keigo wouldn’t have done anything different if he had a second chance.

It was the life he chose. It was the life every single Pro had chosen. It wouldn’t be fair to them for you to treat it like a burden, not when everyone was safer because of them.

“Thank you.” you whisper as the sun dips beneath the horizon, as darkness swallows up your room, “I love you so much.”

Keigo shifts his head, looking up at you. His eyes are bright and full of life. It’s reassuring.

“It’s my job, honey. I love you too.” he presses the back of his hand against your forehead, brushing over the skin with his knuckles.

You wrap your arms around him, pulling him into you. His chest collides with yours but it’s tender, like sharing fried chicken with him on movie nights, like taking him out on a picnic date, like him holding you tight as he flies high above the world, showing you exactly what his world is like.

You wish you could do more for him aside from this. Trimming and painting his nails didn’t feel like enough, helping him preen didn’t feel like enough. Bathing with him and cooking for him and making him tea every morning and night to soothe his aching muscles and bones didn’t feel like enough.

Maybe it never would be enough.

He holds the whole world on his shoulders, balancing it for the good of every person on the planet, even when it feels like the weight will crush him.

Pro Heroes take care of everyone. Who takes care of them?

As you stare down at Keigo, his expression blissed out as he holds you close, his posture completely relaxed and trusting, you know the answer.

Those who love heroes, and those who heroes love in return, are the ones that protect them.

The general public doesn’t know what this is like. They don’t have a hero who trusts them as much as they trust the heroes. They don’t have someone who would go to work, only for them to end up on the news every day. They didn’t have to worry about whether their loved one would have to face the corruption that undoubtedly ran through the higher up hero circles.

Could they even handle it if they did? You could barely handle it most days.

You shake your head and kiss the exposed skin of his forehead, willing the thoughts away. Now was not the time for misery. The both of you knew this well. There would be plenty of time to mourn and contemplate later, when stakes were higher and you two won’t be together. Right now was precious, with you in his arms and him in yours.

When this is over, you think fondly, I’m going to marry him.

Keigo bumps his nose against your chin when he goes in for a kiss, and you squeeze him tighter.

[insomniactic-daydream]

Since I Survived..

Pro Hero Bakugo ♡ Pro Hero Reader

Summary: Both of you are pro heroes in your prime. But after a gut-wrenching dream, Bakugo considers other plans for his life with you.

This is an alternate happy ending of 'Beside You' cause I don't want my readers to be depressed. 😭

I recommend reading that first but it can be a stand alone.

Part 1 (Sorta) 》 'Beside You'

TW: Implied deaths, Children (idk if that considered a tw but oh well)

Bakugo's vision starts to dim as he holds you under all the rubble of the collapsed building.

Even though he couldn't save the both of you, he wants to make sure the last thing he sees is his wife angelic face.

It's a shitty way to die. The both of you impaled by a metal bar with no way of escaping and an even smaller chance of survival. Yet, but at least he had you with him.

"I couldn't imagine breathing without you, Kats.." you say in cutting breaths as you use all of your remaining strength to hold him close. Smiling weakly, knowing at least you'd go together.

"Good thing we don't have to, princess." Bakugo heaves out, saying your nickname for the last time as he presses his lips onto yours. Taking each other's last breath...

"PA!"

Bakugo wakes up in a jolt as he gets smacked in the face. Sitting up with a teary-eyed face.

He looks and finds the culprit of his stolen slumber, or savior from that horrible nightmare.

"Papa didn't want to wake up, and Mama said to smack you if you didn't." the blonde and crimson eyed little girl says as she scrambles onto the bed and into his lap.

Katsumi looks at her father's face. For a 6 year old, she is very emotionally perceptive. "Is Papa alright?" She says, reaching to touch his face.

Although the grogginess still lingers, he gives her a big and long embrace.

"I'm fine, princess. Your Pops just had a nightmare, is all." He says while giving her a rare genuine smile. Thank fuck it was a dream.

He held her for what seemed like ages, and yet she didn't mind; after all, she was still your daughter too. Her kindness is genetic.

However, it was not long after that the emotional silence was ruined.

"KATSUKI IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS UP," your voice projects from the kitchen as the smell of breakfast lingers. The two blondes share a laugh before getting off the bed.

Bakugo picks Katsumi up in his arms. "Cmon, our queen is waiting." He says while heading towards the kitchen; using his upgraded nickname for you after you had Katsumi.

He never thought he'd end up here, with kids and a loving wife who hasn't gotten tired of him yet.

Even if the dream was different by the two of you not having Katsumi, his heart still warmed that at least you were the thing that didn't change in his life.

Bakugo is so deep into thought about the dream that he didn't notice he arrived at the kitchen. Guess the dream really opened his eyes about the hero work the two of you been doing.

"Kats?" You say concerned at his blank gaze and hold on Kastumi. His attention now back to reality after your voice.

"You alright, honey?" You say while grabbing Katsumi from his arm and placing her in the chair seated next to her infant brother's high chair. Babbling away like infants do.

Before you can even turn back around to him, he attacks you with a hug. You look at your daughter questionably, but she only shrugs and continues to feed her brother.

"You alright there, you big oaf? ...Kats?" You say before turning around and seeing his teary-eyed face.

"Shut up." He says quickly so he can avoid your questioning. You only sigh in defeat and wrap your arms around him, too.

"Do I at least get to know what this is about?" You say as your husband's grasp tightens.

"We should quit."

"What?" You say confused. Things are going well for the two of your careers, even being in the top 3 from time to time. Hell, he just made number 1 last year.

"We should retire our old asses and enjoy our fucking lives til we're grey and wrinkly." He says in a mumble swaying you back and forth.

"Fuck is a bad word papa."

"Katsumi," You scold the child before sighing. "I mean, I'm not opposed to it, but where's this coming from." You question the vulnerable blonder.

"Mm just had a shi- poopy butt dream," he says, trying to make his sentence child friendly, earning a giggle from his daughter and a chuckled from you. Still, you investigate further.

"About?"

"We didn't make it back from a mission. We held each other til the end, but I don't want that for us," He says quietly to avoid the childs prying ear while his grip tightens on you.

You stiffen. Dying during a mission and leaving the kids behind? That thought left a nasty taste in your tongue and an even bigger ache in your heart.

This time you hold him tighter.

"Guess I'll have to tell the commission that I won't be back from maternity leave then." You say, peppering him with kisses. He let's out a sigh of relief. Being glad that you're both on the same page.

"I think I should just leave the agency to Red then. The interns are going to give me so much crap about being old." He chuckles while kissing you back. Yet his hold on you stays.

A comfortable silence lingers for a little.

"Thank you for keeping up with my crap." He says quietly. His vulnerable insecurity of not being good enough for you showing.

"Til I'm grey and wrinkly, Kats." causing him to chuckle. You always knew how to reassure him.

"Til we're gray and wrinkly."

And with no tragic ends in sight.

Doing this instead of the 8 assignments due tomorrow night. 😭

Enjoying the stories? General Tag List Here

[gyubakeries]

your work is so so sooo good. you write angst and fluff so well wow. could i please request a similar drabble with seungkwan? any plot is great, just the same loving doting boyfriend as in your seungcheol drabble

𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱-𝗮𝗶𝗱 | b.sk

a/n: hi anon! im so glad you liked the seungcheol drabble <3 thanks for requesting this!! kwan is so bf material... this wasnt really hard to write lmaoo. hope you like this!

word count: 2.2k contents: seungkwan x afab!reader , idol!seungkwan , waitress!reader , domestic fluff , mentions of injury (just a small cut) , a little angst , but we get comfort so thank you kwan , set right after nana tour , seungkwan being a pro-nagger

"y/n, just go home," your co-worker, hyeri, sighs. "i'll cover for you."

"i'm fine, hyeri," you shake your head, continuing to wipe down the empty tables.

"you look dead from the lack of sleep," hyeri counters, taking the cleaning rag away from you. "i could see those dark circles under your eyes from miles away."

"are you telling me i look like a panda?" you gasp, and hyeri shoots you an unimpressed look.

"go home, or i'm calling seungkwan up," hyeri threatens, and your eyes widen at the mention of your boyfriend's name.

"are you crazy? don't say that out loud! you never know when someone is listening!" you whisper-yell. dating an idol from a famous kpop group was a tough job, especially when their fans could be lurking anywhere.

"there's literally no one here," hyeri points out. "because it's closing time. now go home before i kick your ass."

"but-"

"non negotiable," hyeri cuts you off. "you've closed every night for the last two weeks, so let me do it now. go home and get some rest, y/n. i'm worried about you."

your shoulders slump. you hated that hyeri had to do your job, but a tiny part of you felt relieved to be going home and finally getting some shut-eye.

"thank you so much, i'll treat you to lunch soon," you say. "at the expensive hot-pot place you like."

hyeri squeals with excitement, and you can only smile at her antics before heading out to the back of the restaurant, grabbing your things, and leaving for the day.

it's almost midnight by the time you're stepping into your apartment. you immediately head into your bedroom to put your phone on charge, it having died sometime during the day while you were working. you quickly go into the bathroom to take a shower, eager to get clean and finally hit the bed, unaware of the text messages lighting up your screen while you shower.

once you're dressed in comfortable clothes, you tuck yourself into bed. you wait for sleep to claim you as soon as your head hits the pillow, but..... it doesn't.

you lie awake, staring at the ceiling blankly. you feel so tired, but your eyes refuse to shut. the frustration overwhelms you, threatening to make unshed tears spill from your eyes. just when you thought things couldn't get worse, your stomach starts rumbling loudly.

groaning because of this unfair situation the universe decided to put you in when all you wanted was to sleep, you get out of bed and walk into the kitchen, hoping to make some ramen for yourself.

you open the cupboard to fetch some instant ramen after putting a pot of water on the stove to boil. while waiting for the water, you take out an egg and some green onion from your fridge.

the ramen noodles go into the water and you take out a knife to chop up some green onions, just to be fancy. just then, a wave of tiredness washes over you, making your eyelids droop.

you yawn, carelessly cutting the green onion. a combination of your exhaustion and your vision blurring with tears as you yawn again makes you miscalculate where your knife lands, and in the blink of an eye, there's a gash on your index finger, bright red blood oozing out of it.

"shit!" you exclaim, rushing to the kitchen sink to run some cold water over your finger. in your panic, you barely register the door to your apartment opening and your boyfriend walking in.

"y/n! i'm ho- shit, what happened?" seungkwan gasps, seeing you hunched over the kitchen sink. he rushes to you, dropping his bag to the floor. he nearly screams too when he sees the cut on your finger and the blood spilling from it.

"wait here, i'll get the first-aid kit," he snaps into action, but you stop him.

"switch the stove off, or the next mess we'll have to clean is the ramen," you instruct, pointing at the ramen bubbling dangerously on the stove.

seungkwan does as you say, and then rushes into the bedroom to find the first-aid kit. he's back in the kitchen in no time, holding a box of band-aids, some cotton, and.... a sharpie?

the cotton turns out to be drenched in warm water, which he uses to clean the wound gently. he then takes a band-aid out of the box and carefully wraps it around your finger, making sure to cover the cut entirely. and then comes the role of the sharpie.

seungkwan pulls the injured finger closer to him and takes off the cap of the marker. his eyebrows furrow with concentration as he brings the pen to the band-aid, drawing something onto it.

when he releases your finger, you see that he's drawn the face of a puppy onto the band-aid. your heart melts.

"kwan, that's so cute!" you squeal, momentarily forgetting about whatever had just happened. and also the fact that your boyfriend was an expert at nagging.

"yah, y/n, don't you think you should be more careful?" seungkwan scolds lightly. "what if the cut was deeper? or your finger got chopped off? what if i hadn't come home at that time? you didn't even know i was going to come! do you know how worried i was when you didn't read my texts?"

your smile is quickly replaced by a frown, and you suddenly feel tired again. seungkwan notices the abrupt change in your mood, and immediately feels bad for scolding you.

"babe, i'm sorry," he apologizes, coming closer to you to take your hands in his. "i was just really worried, you know?"

you only nod in response. you weren't upset because of seungkwan, but because of how pathetic and monotonous your life had become over the last few weeks.

"y/n, talk to me," seungkwan tries, not liking the distant look in your eyes. he could also tell that you were tired from your pale and sullen face. "is everything okay?"

his concerned tone feels like a hug to all the turmoil in your head, and that prompts the first few tears to escape your eyes. you look up at seungkwan, and his distressed expression only upsets you more, making you sob louder.

seungkwan doesn't hesitate for a second, pulling you against his chest in a warm embrace. you inhale deeply, taking in the scent of his cologne that never fails to soothe you.

"how about we lay down?" seungkwan suggests after a while. you nod again, so he carefully guides the both of you towards your bedroom, gently pulling you down next to him on the bed, his arms never leaving your waist.

"do you want to talk about what's been bothering you? was it what i said?" seungkwan asks once your sobs had reduced to sniffles.

"i'm tired." you state. it's the truth, but it's far more complex than just tiredness.

"of course you are. not sleeping for a week does that to people," seungkwan replies in a matter-of-factly tone.

"how did you know that?" you ask, genuinely surprised.

"hyeri texted me earlier. i would have gone to pick you up after your shift, but my dance practice was still on," he answers. "so, what's been up with you? missed me so much you couldn't sleep?"

he said it as a joke, but the words strike a sensitive spot.

"i did," you answer truthfully. "i missed you a lot. it felt like hell without you. and i'm used to months of not seeing you, but this time we couldn't even text because you were busy filming, and it's ridiculous of me to complain about it because it's literally your job, but i missed you a lot. i tried sleeping but i couldn't. not without you texting me a stupid meme vernon sent you before nagging at me to go to sleep. not without you there to hold me. it was torture, kwan."

seungkwan's eyes widen slightly at your rant. he knew long distance was tough, and you two had been through a lot together, but he knew something else was bothering you. you weren't the type to break down this easily.

"i missed you too, babe," seungkwan sighs, pulling you closer to him. "i hated not being able to see your face, especially after i promised to meet you after i came back from japan."

"it's okay, kwannie, i understand," you knew that seungkwan himself wasn't aware of the surprise trip to italy, so you can't really blame him. he also needed that week-long break, especially after having worked so hard.

"thank you, love," seungkwan mutters into your hair, his fingers gently massaging your scalp to alleviate some tension. "but there's something else that's troubling you. i noticed that you were always worrying about something for a few months. you seemed aloof, and i tried to bring it up, but there was never time. what's up?"

"i feel like i'm stuck," you explain. "my life isn't moving forward. it's the same routine of go to work, clean tables, serve food, come home and do chores, and then repeat. i've wanted to do so much more, but i'm just stuck here."

seungkwan's heart breaks at the exhaustion in your voice. you had told him about how you've always wanted to have your own restaurant, which was the only reason you were working in a restaurant yourself.

"babe, it's okay to feel tired sometimes," he comforts you. "there are times when even i feel like i'm stuck in a rut. go to the studio to record, practice room to practice choreo, attend interviews, and repeat it all again. at the start, even i had doubted getting myself into this career, but i realized how deep my passion for music was, which is why i stayed. and the members too, of course."

"i know you love food and cooking, so just stick to your passion. don't give up on it. your big break will come one day. plus, you know mingyu and i will gladly fund your restaurant. you just have to ask, baby."

seungkwan's words have this ability to heal all your wounds. they're like a soothing balm to your sore body, and you're so thankful to have such a caring and loving person in your life.

"if i start my restaurant, i want to do it myself," you crack a small smile. "you're always free to help with the interior design, though."

"thank god, your interior choices are.... questionable," seungkwan teases.

"hey! you can't say that to me!" you pout, but seungkwan doesn't relent.

"seriously? do i have to remind you of that hideous statue of a chihuahua you bought? because you thought it was cute?" he challenges, raising an eyebrow at you.

"it was cute, okay?" you say defensively. "plus, i gave it away because you refused to enter my apartment if it stayed!"

"there was nothing cute about that abomination," seungkwan shudders. "it was a chihuahua wearing red pants and an orange bow-tie. anyways, my point is still valid. i'd be glad to help you design your restaurant."

"thank you, kwan," you smile, leaning up to kiss him. "you always know what to say to make me feel better. how do you do it?"

"i'm magical, baby," seungkwan shoots an over-exaggerated wink at you, making you burst into laughter. "can i say something even better? i'll get all the members to come to your restaurant and we'll post it on our instagram. that kind of publicity would boost your restaurant to the big leagues instantly."

"sure, baby, you can bring all the guys," you nod, endeared by how enthusiastic seungkwan was. you've had a lot of people doubting your plans for your future career as it had bleak prospects, but having seungkwan by your side had reassured you to follow your dreams. he had never lost faith in you, even on days when you yourself gave up on your goals, and it had motivated you to a great extent.

"you've been by my side through everything, y/n," seungkwan whispers softly, looking into your eyes with nothing but adoration and love. "i can't wait to see you grow and become the brightest star too. i'll be there by your side, just like you've been there for me."

"seungkwan- i-" you're at a loss for words. his words are so genuine, and you really don't know what you'd done in your past life to have someone love you so entirely. "i don't even know what to say."

"maybe start with, 'oh my god, seungkwan, you're the best boyfriend ever!' or maybe even 'you're so cute it makes me want to cook my special ramen for you.' any one of those works really," seungkwan says cheekily, and you playfully slap his chest, followed by a loud yawn from the both of you.

"let's have ramen for breakfast tomorrow," you mumble sleepily.

"i gave you another option...." seungkwan sulks jokingly, making you laugh.

"oh my god, seungkwan, you're the best boyfriend ever!" you giggle, speaking in a shrill voice to sound like one of the many fans who fawn over seungkwan. humming with satisfaction, seungkwan presses a loud smooch to your forehead, squeezing you tightly, and then releasing you. your bodies never stray too far away though, always closely intertwined with each other.

and when you wake up the next morning, well-rested and to the sound of seungkwan singing along to girl group songs in the living room while cleaning, you forget about everything that had been weighing you down.

the band-aid on your finger covered the wound on your finger that healed slowly, and seungkwan's love was the band-aid on your heart, healing something he never broke.

- fin.

[mandatory-blog-stop-asking]

ladies and gentlemen and everything in between I come to you an enlightened man, changed from my journey into something different, something more

Legend of the Galactic Heroes is the best show I've ever seen.

I'm floored by the fact this boring show about people talking is literally everything I wanted out of a serious show about politics, war and human nature.

Every single aspect of the show that it set itself out to do was fully explored and integrated into the narrative, every single thing it had to say was weighted, pros and cons exposed, and conclusions demanded that the audience peer-reviewed it based on the available information.

The words Lord of the Rings come to mind as I try to come up with examples of other fictional works that take themselves as seriously, don't go off on the deep end for the sake of drama or shock, and overall open themselves up not as just a fun drama to unwind to, but as works of history, geography and sociology that deserve to be talked about in those terms.

If I had seen this when I was younger the baseline of what I expect from other similar spaceshows would have been increased so high I don't think I would ever really be interested in a lot of other things.

I will take this fucking show with me forever. I will never shut up about it. I will be processing this for months and talking about it for years.

Shit is incredible. A perfect 10/10. Every frame a painting. This is now an Attenborough stan blog. Holy fucking shit how is he so perfect bros.

[tikkunolamresistance]

so i wanted to say i understand your pov on that post even if i disagree with it, but running an account like this one means you do need to be careful who you reblog from. and that means that yes, you do need to make a bit of an effort.

you could be reblogging nazis, or people who actively support hamas if you don't check who you reblog before you platform them on an account like this. it takes a minute to check out an account before you just hit reblog.

it's understandable to not do it on a personal account, but this is a public one that was supposed to be a place without propaganda. platforming people who post propaganda because you happen to agree with one post they made is still platforming people who post propaganda. there are many nazi and pro hamas accounts who have circulating posts.

"i'm sorry this bothered you." i'm not bothered lmao. i'm disappointed in an account that was supposed to be a place that didn't do what the previous account did.

i wish you luck, i just don't agree with running an account like this one and not checking who you reblog.

i would like to go over the series of events that prompted you to say this to me.

i reblog a post that i agree with. you reblog to disagree, derail the post by mentioning israel and accusing op of terrorist sympathizing, then tag me to call me out for not checking that every blog i reblog a post from meets your expected standards for my blog. my blog.

i am someone that you have spoken to personally on here and discord and now you have the audacity to try and call me out publicly? what’s with that? if you are concerned with who i’m reblogging from this was not the appropriate way to go about it and i am embarrassed that i even have to address this with you.

i was going to message you privately but fuck it. you made this public.

my personal account is also public. this blog isn’t a news source, i’m not a teacher, nor do i have the responsibility to check every blog i reblog from. i am a stranger on the internet cultivating a blog of topics i think my followers would like to look at/engage with/be interested in in any capacity.

i’m not living my life with hyper vigilance for fucking tumblr. the fringe website. i already think too much about the person sitting next to me on the bus let alone every. single. account that i reblog from.

take this ‘holier than thou’ attitude away from me i am absolutely sick of it.

if anyone else has any issues with the people i reblog from, that is entirely a you issue. unfollow me like she did.

[folk-enjoyer]

Song of The Day/history of cotton eyed joe

do you want the history of a folk song? dm me or submit an ask and I'll do a full rundown

"Cotton Eyed Joe" Terry Callier, 1963

As a disclaimer, "Cotton Eyed Joe" is my least favorite American folk song and I'm going to talk about why, and I'm going to talk about why Terry Callier's version is subversive and good.

The Earliest date we have for the song's origins is from 1882 when it was Published in "Diddie, Dumps, and Tot, or, Plantation child-life" by Louise Clark-Pyrnelle. This book is a nostalgic recollection of her childhood as a plantation owner's daughter. She reminisces fondly about slavery, missing the old plantation days. Honestly, some of the quotes within this book are beyond parody, in one sentence she says "... My little book does not pretend to be any defense of slavery" and in the next sentence when referring to the morality of slavery she writes, "there are many pros and cons to that subject", later at the end of the chapter she laments about the forever lost emotional connection between the Masters children and the enslaved people. hate this woman and her little book.

It is also important to note that this book goes out of its way to caricature black people, throughout the book she exaggerates accents and dialects to dehumanize them. This is a recurring theme in early publications of this song. Another early publication of the song comes from Dorothy Scarborough in "On the Trail of negro folk-songs" 1925 who got it from her sister who also learned it on a plantation, in Texas. She writes "This is an authentic slavery-time song" This book, if you can believe it, is remarkably racist and dismissive of black music, even as a more "progressive" songbook of black folk songs.

In 1922, the song's history was documented a bit more extensively by Thomas W. Talley in his book "Negro folk rhymes". He writes that it has "deep roots in black traditional lore". Thomas W. Talley was also just a cool guy in general, this book is one of the first compilations of African American folk songs, and it has been a pioneering book in its field. Even today, this book is still one of the best sources for the history of African American folk songs.

So, this is a black song. This was a black song whose first wave of popularization was through the caricature of black people to be amusing for white folks. Let's move on to its second wave of popularization.

The song was first recorded in 1927 by "Dykes Magic City Trio" (all white band) then about a week later by Fiddlin' John Carson (white performer) then in 1928 by Pope's Arkansas Mountanaineers (all white band) then in 1929 by Carter Brothers and Son (all white band) and then it wasn't really recorded for a while because of the great depression and the war but the times it was recorded, it was by white people. We know this because it was mostly recorded by John Lomax and despite documenting southern folk songs, he almost went out of his way to avoid recording black people singing them. Then, in 1941, it was recorded by Burl Ives (painfully white).also covered by a few white country singers like Adolph hofner bob willis but I think you get the point. It wasn't until later that year that it would be recorded by a black person, performed by josh white in 1944-45, who covered it as a lullaby.

However, it wouldn't be until the 90s, during its 3rd wave of popularization that it became its most grotesque. "cotton eye joe" was recorded and released by Swedish Eurodance band Rednex in 1995 as a, to paraphrase reviews, 'Way to make fun of backwater southerners'. This song became incredibly popular throughout Europe and in the USA as well, charting as a number-one song in several countries, sometimes for weeks. Not only is this song incredibly classist, it is, whether by omission or deliberately, fundamentally racist, adding to the whitewashing of black folk and minstrelsy of black people. The attitude and humor derived from the Swedish version are the same as the version in 1882 when it was a "classic slave song".

So, why is Terry Callier's version important, why talk about it? Terry Callier's version is the first version of the song that I have heard and it is not a comedy. It isn't meant to be funny. It slows the melody down and draws attention to itself. It's almost a ballad, showcasing Joe as a tragic but mysterious hero, maybe a love song. His voice is angelic as well. Terry Callier once again, subverts expectations and creates something beautiful out of a song that has been so whitewashed and appropriated that no one remembers its tragic origins.

Thomas W. Talley

some other versions by black folks Josh white 1944-46 Nina simone 1959 The Ebony Hillbillies 2004 Leon bibb 1962 Ella Jenkins 1960 Josh White Jr 1964 Queen Ida 1985

[talesfromawannabejournalist]

Demon in Disguise

Here it is @kittenfangirl20, hope you enjoy part 1

Adam sighed as he waited for Lilith to make her appearance in the embassy. Adam was summoned by a letter from the Queen herself requesting an audience with the first man himself. Though Sera, the woman he looked at as a mother as she looked at him as her son, warned him against this meeting. However, Adam's will be strong, and he wishes to know what the snake wants. It didn't help that tensions were rising what with the sinners starting to rise. Adam's knee slightly bounced from underneath the table as he crossed his arms over his chest. Though he'd never admit it to anyone other than himself it always sent a shiver down his side whenever it was only just the two of them. Suddenly the doors opened and in walked Lilith all with the grace of a queen, and the slithering motions of a serpent. Her amethyst pierced Adam's soul as they locked onto him.

Lilith: Ah Adam just the man, or first man, I've been meaning to see, how are you? Doing good? Heaven sure does seem to be treating you good.

Lilith stated while her gaze turned directly on Adam's chubby belly. Adam scowled already wanting this meeting to end.

Adam: Cut the crap and just say what you want Lilith

Lilith: Very well, I've come here for a proposal. I understand that Heaven is getting quite antsy as of late due to my people beginning to rise up. I also understand that they are looking for solutions, well I have one that will solve everything.

Adam: And that is?

Lilith: I remove myself from my title as queen, Hell's military, leave Hell, and be given a spot in Heaven.

Adam was silent for a moment until he laughed out loud even banging his fist against the table.

Adam: Ok, and what makes you think that anyone in their right mind would allow you to stay? Not to mention me ever giving you free range of upstairs.

Lilith: You are still close with Sera, correct? Then she can help forward this deal. I also have something that you want more than anything

Adam: And what might that be?

Lilith: Lucifer's child

Adam: ...what?

Lilith: I'm sure that your little...birth defect is still present even as an angel, yes?

Adam glared at her wording but slowly nodded. Not long after Adam's creation his creator, God helped shift his body so that he then had both parts of a man and a woman. Though he didn't know why he did it, he didn't hate his body in any way, despite Lilith doing her hardest to make him back in the garden.

Lilith: I'll collect Lucifer's seed and have it implanted in your womb then you'll finally have the precious baby that you always wanted with your dear guardian angel.

Adam: ...Lucifer is alright with all of, this? You leaving him and me being impregnated with his sperm?

Lilith: But of course, after all, he does want what's best for our subjects, not to mention that if there is less interaction in Heaven ten the less, he'll have to see you. Plus, with you not only in Heaven but also supported by

Adam didn't know what to say, on the one hand, he'd finally get his dream of being a mother. He loved all his children when they were on Earth and loved being their father even when...the incident occurred and afterward. However, ever since Eden, he wanted to be with Lucifer, his Luci, his sweet angel, and have a family with him. On the other hand, it hurt him to his core that this was the only way. But...the pros outweighed the cons and on the plus side not only would he get his dream, but he'd also finally be putting a stop to any uprising from the denizens of Hell since the fire was only filled with Lilith there leading the charge.

It seemed Lilith could tell what his decision was and smirked.

Adam: alright Lilith, I accept your deal.

[rebelliousmuse]

Camera Malfunction - C.B. pt 2

Check part 1 here:

https://www.tumblr.com/rebelliousmuse/755390305921040384/camera-malfunction-cb?source=share

Still not a pro in using Tumblr, don't laugh.

--------------------------------------------

"The Estes Method is a technique designed to facilitate communication with the supernatural," Sam explains to the camera, "it involves a spirit box, this device I'm holding right here, that rapidly scans radio frequencies. This is believed to help spirits communicate with our world." Colby, blindfolded and wearing headphones connected to the spirit box, takes a deep breath. "Ready?" he asks.

"Let's do this" Kris replies.

"Hello" Sam calls out into the quiet room. "Is anyone here?"

A moment of silence passes, then Colby's voice breaks through. "Here" he says, his tone filled with surprise, the rest of the team exchange excited glances.

"We're..." Colby speaks again but stops. "And something I didn't understand" his face shows cofusion.

"What's your name?" you ask.

"Cindy... Blackwood" Colby replies, his voice echoes through the parent's bedroom.

Excitement ripples through the group. "Hi, Cindy, nice to meet you" Sam says. "Can you tell us what happened in this room?"

"They were together" Colby responds, and pauses as if gathering his thoughts.

"Woah, who?" Sam asks with wide eyes.

"Maybe her husband cheated?" Kris suggests. "Oh my god, what if her husband had a mistress and she was the one that killed them all out of anger because he didn't choose her or something like that?!"

You feel a shiver run down your spine. This is getting too intense. You try to play it off, but your nervousness is evident.

"No" Colby says. "The man... punished... not a woman... loyal"

"Oh, then what was she talking about?" Sam asks towards Kris and you.

"Your friends" Colby replies, your eyes widen in shock. Sam and Kris exchange confused glances.

Sam leans forward, his eyes fixed on Colby "What about our friends?"

Colby shurgs nonchalantly, "I already told you."

Kris raises an eyebrow, her skepticism evident. "Um... can you, uh, say it again?"

Colby hesitates before answering, "The boy and the girl..."

Sam presses on "Yeah, what about them?"

You glance at your watch, feeling a growing sense of urgency, "Guys, we should really wrap this up. It's getting really late."

Kris's smile widens as she meets your gaze "Why?"

Colby's breath quickens, and his leg bounces nervously "Moans and sweat" he says still blinfolded and connected to the spirit box.

Kris says "Okay, let's stop this" as her eyes twinkle and Sam nods in agreement. "On my bed... they did..." Colby immediately clamps a hand over his mouth realizing his slip-up.

Sam chuckles and shakes his head in disbelief with a weird look on his face, "Alright, enough". He touches Colby's shoulder, making him take the headphones and blindfold off.

You and Colby exchange a nervous glance, your cheeks bruning bright. You both look over at your friends, who are staring at you expectantly. Colby looks away guiltily, his face turning a shade of crimson.

Kris bursts into laughter, her eyes wide with amusement. "You did what?" she asks, still giggling uncontrollably.

You try to supress a smile and swat at Kris playfully "Shut uppp!"

After investigating some more through the place, you and Kris walk outside the manor, "I'm glad it's over" Kris murmurs, rubbing her arms. "That place gave me the creeps"

You nod in agreement, your heart still pounding from the adrenaline rush of the investigation. "Me too. I think we found more than enough evidence for this video."

You peer from the outside through a window and see Sam and Colby setting up their final shot inside the living room. As they film the outro they seem to be in good spirits, laughing and joking with each other. But then, as soon as they turn the camera off, something changes. Sam's face suddenly darkens, and his fists clench. You can't hear what they're saying, but it's clear that they're arguing.

Kris nudges your arm. "Do you think they're okey?"

You shake your head. "I don't know. Let's just keep an eye on them."

As you and Kris watch, the argument escalates. Sam's voice becomes louder, and his words are punctuated by angry gestures. Colby looks increasingly distressed. Finally, Sam turns on his heel and storms out the room. Colby slumps onto the couch, looking defeated.

You and Kris exchange worried glances. Whatever happened between them, it's clearly serious.

----------

Sam's voice is low and menacing as he glances at Colby, "You are the worst!" Colby shrinks back with eyes filled with guilt. "I can't believe you fucked her! You knew about my feelings for her!"

Colby's face contorts in pain, "I'm sorry, man. It just happened. I won't do it again, I swear."

"Oh, for fucks sake, don't lie to me. You know how much she means to me"

"I do, I'm sorry, it was an accident. I don't want to lose you. You're my brother, Sam."

Sam's anger boils over, "An accident?! Go to hell, Brock!"

With that, Sam turns on his heel and storms out the room, slamming the door behind him. Colby is left alone regretting giving in to temptation with you.

[olderthannetfic]

I find it really sad when proshippers partake in "cringe culture" so to speak. you can't build your platform on anti-harassment and then make fun of people for being into something you deem stupid/trash/etc.

Like, I know in my mind that proshipping is more about anti-censorship and being pro "darker" stuff so to speak, and that it's not REALLY built on "we shouldn't make fun of people for reading/watching Stupid Stuff" but shouldn't the two be connected? I'd honestly argue that the latter argument is a stepping stool to the former?

Because how can you reblog "all ships are good ships" "ship and let ship" and then make fun of someone for being for an adult who still ships Steven Universe characters? How can you post "RPF is fine" but then make fun of that person on stan twitter who's a bit too into kpop rpf?

just makes me sad. The people who have made fun of me for the most for my MCU hyperfixation are my fellow proshippers. I've unfollowed people for posting book-tok screenshots that are clearly just mocking the OP for the fact that they read Colleen Hoover or whatever.

And I'm not talking about privately shittalking something, or just hating something in general; I'm not not even really talking about laughing at the *media/media creator itself* and criticizing it. I mean, I myself still laugh at the "read another book" Harry Potter meme (which, if i really need to add a disclaimer, i am DEFINITELY not talking about people who think it's weird and fucked up af that some people still like JKR as a person because. . .how can you at this point?). Moreso I mean people who claim to be SOOOO anti harassment and SOOOO pro-all-forms-of-art-even-'bad'-art (whether the art be bad in a moral way or in a creative way, whatever "art" "bad" "moral" and "creative" even MEAN because it changes with everyone.)

Obviously no one is going to like every single piece of art ever, and it's, imho, really human to be a "hater" to some degree! I just have a problem when someone genuinely makes fun of the FANS of something or thinks that someone is less intellectual just because the someone in general likes Disney/Twilight/Taylor Swift/Hamilton/whatever. No one gives af if you think a certain writing or acting style is cringe, but if you think the fans are cringe, that says more about you than it does about the fandom.

(also as a send off -- all the 'yous' i said here were general, def not directed at anyone on this blog. I'm just venting and this seems like the best place to do so where people will agree with my words.)

--

[lisbe2021]

Oi Lis,

Vou te atualizar dos planos:

Sobre terapia de TDAH - eu ainda não achei uma pessoa que eu acho que faz sentido, eu olhei um monte de gente mas eu percebi que eu não sei que tipo de corrente(?) eu gostaria ou eu precisaria ou faz sentido pra TDAH, então eu to dando uma olhada em videos, tiktoks, blogs etc pra saber mais e reduzir um pouco o número de pessoas que eu vou ter que olhar o perfil kkkk uma pergunta: quanto a tua cobra mesmo?

sobre os próximos dias - hoje eu durmo aqui ainda, eu chego em Barcelona amanhã e eu vi um hostel bem barato, levemente afastado do centro da cidade, mas que parece bem bonito e legal que eu poderia ficar até ir pro Porto. Hoje eu vou passear por Marselha e na volta eu vou ver disso. Meu plano é pegar minha mala de mão e não voltar a ver a guria lá até o dia de pegar a mala e ir pra Madrid.

sobre o que eu tenho pensado sobre a vida, o universo e todas as coisas: a coisa que eu mais quero é voltar pra Caxias e sair com o Vini. Eu to com muita saudade dele e eu acho que vai fazer muito sentido conversar com ele sobre tudo que aconteceu. Eu sinto que ele é um cara que, com o relacionamento dele com a Júlia, ele vai ser um bom amigo pra estar perto.

Agora aqui com meu primo tem sido bem legal, mas no Hostel eu tava me sentindo bem solitário at times. As coisas aconteciam e eu não tinha ninguém pra contar e comentar sobre. Isso é um pouco chato. Eu nunca senti tanto que queria ter um irmão ou irmã.

sobre o vício, I suppose: depois que a gente falou das nossas memórias e do que a gente gostaria de ter feito e fazer um com o outro eu percebi a volta do "instinto" (?) de querer me masturbar toda vez que vou pro banho, por exemplo. E dai I tamed it, I guess, pra desassociar uma coisa da outra com o tempo né. Mas aconteceu pelo menos mais uma vez e eu voltei pra nossa conversa aquela e principalmente pro momento do bar que eu gostaria de ter pensado em te pedir pra ficar só com as fishnets.

Sobre SP, eu gostaria muito de ficar e te ajudar, mas se não for o caso, eu acho que eu vou make my way to Caxias sooner than later, pq eu to um pouco desconfortável de ir pro Alison depois de todo papo e também eu não quero que pareça pra ti que eu não tô meaning all that I'm saying. ((Mas tb seria bem legal se eu pudesse squeeze um haircut com a minha cabeleireira que se mudou pra SP)).

Em caxias meu plano é voltar pra alguma agência o mais rápido possível e começar a organizar a vida financeiramente (pagar a dívida) e começar a pensar em apartamento e todas as coisas. E dai eu vou ter uma tranquilidade pra ir atrás de alguma universidade ou coisa assim. Também buys time pra estarmos os dois em Caxias while the processes happen with the both of us.

---

Última coisa, eu entendo que faz parte e volta e meia tu vai se sentir insegura de novo. Mas damn, it pains me feel you pulling away. De novo, eu entendo, eu não tô criticando nem dizendo pra tu parar caso seja o que tu sinta que tem que fazer, mas é como eu me sinto.

[knivestothroats]

Buck visiting Tommy at the lodge out of a sense of obligation is so infinitely hilarious to me. He's just like "Bye boyfriend I'm gonna go visit a murderer in the woods for the weekend bc they've got someone new to torture and I feel bad." Movie night with your ex captor and their new new captive.

I do imagine that Fletcher would be nicer when Buck is around/coming over soon, and Tommy would absolutely notice and latch onto that. However I do think he would be very wary after seeing the scars on Buck's face and Buck would be equal parts creeped out and horrified by Tommy's utter lack of scars (at least from before Fletcher).

I for one would fucking LOVE to see how Tommy reacts to getting his first permanent scar from Fletcher and all the emotions that come with that. Also would Fletcher tattoo their symbol on Tommy like they did on Buck in the other au?

Wow this turned out way longer than I intended, sorry but also not sorry, I'm way too interested in everything that's going on with this au to not be asking questions

i don't think nico would even be able to process the situation if buck told him lol

might throw it over to @victimeyez for more insight bc he has discussed with me tommy's feelings on not having any scars to show what he's been through, and also discussed the idea of what if tommy did get a scar that stuck? would he have a sick sense of satisfaction?

so, whether or not that does end up happening in pro/vic at some point, we'd have to decide timeline stuff OR just say fuck it, it's an au, he gets his first scar from fletcher

I hadn't thought about the tattoo but... I am now

Fletcher probably would be nicer when Buck was around. truly Boyz Nite™️ with the ex-captive and current captive. But also... victimeyez and i were brainstorming on a car ride and the idea came up of Buck showing up and Fletcher being like "you can't see tommy right now" because Fletcher had just hurt him or locked him in a stress position or something. Buck would freak out and try to intervene and Fletcher would be like. well i can't NOT manipulate this.