#And like I'm fine with talking with women about queer men having sex. I do it. It's not an inherently negative experience.

[bijoumikhawal]

Part of the problem with MLM fetishization discourse (mainly found onTwitter, but i see it here too), is that people see effeminacy and femininity in men itself as a fetish, and therefore can't be assed to understand actual issues we face with regard to sexuality

It's impossible to talk about fatphobia, underlying assumptions often related to white supremacist beauty standards, adultification, ageism, etc that feminine men experience because people are too busy getting in a tizzy over a guy wearing skirts in media. One of the big issues for me is hypersexualization- I was getting sexualized at a very young age for being what I am, it's a big issue historically, and a lot of media I could access when I was younger was basically just porn/erotica. And that porn/erotica was often like. Racist, it hypermasculinzed Blackness in comparison to white effeminates, and it only portrayed fem men as submissive bottoms (which isn't itself bad) whose effeminacy was humiliation, and submission was bc they're worth less than "real men"

And like, the joke is people are so focused on wether or not people writing femmes who bottom is bad (it's just a thing that happens irl) that you can't talk about anything else. It's also a form of hypersexualization. The only other thing ppl wanna discuss is "heteronormativity". Fiction where femmes are fucking isn't a bad thing with that being said, and desexualizing us is also a common homophobic thing to do, and tends to loop back to the "less than a real man" thing.

And like, "yaoi"/"BL" isn't the big driving factor in hypersexualization here. If nobody in the US knew what that was I still would've been getting hit on by men twice my age at 16 (who sometimes would loudly advertise their interest in femmes specifically, or more accurately, "femboys" and "tr*ps").

And honestly when you deal with just like- grown ass men looking at you that way, people moaning and bitching that the big concern for fetishization here is basically wether or not the character exists only deepens the shame felt from those interactions. I was made to feel uncomfortable and gross because my gender presentation was seen as sexual when I was a teenager, and all this shit does is go "yeah, it is sexual, when I look at people like you I think about sex and how the sex you have is bad". And part of my Ick with portrayals of femmes is that we're assumed as submissive bottoms because I'm not, but this is still deeply harmful to people that are because you're telling queers the way they fuck is morally wrong and you're instilling shame over it.

And like... actual fetishization for me is more often when femmes as objects of sexual desire are seen that way through a lens of "you're a faggot so you're beneath me, you should thank me when I call you slurs and do xyz, you're trash, shaving you so you have less body hair (so you look more feminine) is a punishment and symbolizes my superiority" because it's just intracommunity femmephobia/effemiphobia with a boner.

Its not that other things are non-issues but cis women clumsily writing a masc/femme dynamic is probably more likely to make me laugh than feel ashamed or disgusted, and instances of feminizing a character for bigotry reasons in fandom are less common than people complaining about effeminacy existing at all (including with femme transmasc characters, especially because usually those aren't being written by cis people). The actual things that have made me cringe with shame and disgust about cis women's view of feminine and effeminate men sexually are more difficult for me to unsnarl because I see it less often, and it's sometimes more visceral because while I was sexualized by men I was actually abused by women, but I'll be frank; those things usually aren't occurring in discussions about fandom.

When I get disgusted in fandom discussion isn't about femme characters existing at all, or top/bottom/switch- they're about people acting like writing romance/erotica about men fucking is the sacred right of cis women and any discussion about equity in publishing means you're attacking fandom when they're two different things, and that that right is more important than the fact that queer men can struggle to get published in romance- and subsequent issues with poverty. Or the insistence that to be fetishized you need to be a woman because fetishization is stored in the pussy (revealing they haven't thought about racism in the romance genre, and don't think about trans women). Its about queer men in fandom writing smut and getting harassed by women who write the exact same type of it because the way they do it is somehow bad. It's about my sexuality being seen as piece of land to fight over, that I'm not supposed to be on, not writing about men in fishnets.

[ms-demeanor]

i really liked OJST in the mid-2010s but i didn’t stop reading cause of the cuck comic - wasn’t there also a comic erika moen wrote about (functionally) harassing lesbians with her now-husband?

In the mid 2010s closet-keys criticized one of Erika Moen's early diary comics and described Erika Moen as "Reassuring a cishet partner that it’s totally okay to use hate speech towards wlw at Pride" and condoning the harassment and fetishization of lesbians because of a 2007 comic that she had made as part of a webcomic she had written about gender and her interactions with her queerness.

The hate speech in question is the partner asking "are you sure you want to hold my hand with all these dykes around?" while they are pretty clearly at a Dyke Day event during pride, and the reassurance that 'it's totally okay to use hate speech toward wlw' is Erika responding "sweetie, I'm proud to be with you."

The comic is still up with a disclaimer that it was written at a different time, and I know that's probably not going to fly with a lot of people but if you were a bi woman in the early to mid 2000s it was pretty common to use statements like "lol yeah i'm into women my boyfriend is fine with it as long as I take pictures" to diffuse the biphobia from straight people AND to say shit like "I'm not a party bi, I actually love pussy, thanks" to diffuse the biphobia from queer people. (if you were a bi guy in the early to mid 2000s i'm sorry and I'm sorry now because we got LUG but that mostly went away and you *still* have to deal with the "gay in waiting" bullshit).

That comic ends with Erika and her partner looking at a woman and saying "I'd totally do her" while the woman thinks "pigs" and if you think that means that they literally sat on the street and vocally commented about lesbians passing by them or that they condone harassing lesbians (in, I cannot stress this enough, a diary comic written by someone in their early twenties who is realizing they are occasionally interested in some men some of the time after identifying as a lesbian their whole life), then I'm gonna go ahead and recommend signing up for some variety or other of literary analysis class. Do we think that Erika is seriously implying that she is going to make her boyfriend gay if she fucks him in this comic from a year later?

If this comic bothers you and you see it as a straight-passing couple giving the go-ahead to harass lesbians, you do you, I'm not saying you have to read the comic or enjoy Erika Moen.

I am saying it's a bit of a stretch, though, and certainly the least charitable explanation possible, and that we should probably give people some space to say awkward things about their sexuality and to make missteps when discussing it in their early twenties and not call them lesbophobic fifteen years after the fact for a college comic.

Moen also gets called transphobic because she has described trans men as adorable/cute in a way that could be read as patronizing in one comic and because she made a comic about wearing a packer for fun and for sexual gratification with her cis male partner as a cis woman.

Appropriately, all of these things feel very "late twenty teens tumblr callout post."

If it bugs you, you don't have to read the comics but I've talked about Moen before and I've gotten the anons in my inbox calling me lesbophobic for recommending her comic when in 2007 she made a comic about catcalling lesbians and condoning street harassment.

Which is frustrating because Erika Moen writes a comic about sex toys that has incredible body and gender diversity and is interested in making sure that people of all sexualities are having safe, enjoyable sex and talking openly about it. This is Rebecca Sugar condones war crimes level discourse over a creator who makes a genuinely good comic and gets dismissed as cringe by people who hate open discussions of sex and gets dismissed as a bigot (in ways that I think are incredibly unfair given the vast majority of her work) among people who *claim* to love open discussions of sex but who *actually* love witch hunts.

[lemongrass-and-peppermint]

Semi-Realistic Simon “Ghost” Riley Romance Headcanons!

Only semi-realistic because I'm delusional about this man

TW: mentions of angst, drugs, violence

Doesn’t go out looking for romance or dates—you’re most likely to meet him at a pub (the other TF141 boys will introduce you) or at a gym ( probably will only talk to you if you need help with some equipment).

I headcanon the man to be on the aroace spectrum in the sense that he just has no interest in either romance or sex whatsoever until he actually Meets someone. Like he can feel attraction but doesn’t pursue that at all.

And then even if he does fall in love he will not take initiative bc he’s genuinely fine just being friends.

If you wanna date this man then you need to take all the initiative, both romantically and sexually.

He won’t be completely cold though! Will initiate physical touch and affection all on his own. Depending on your size, he will either sling an arm around your shoulders or your lower back, likes to hold your hand.

Won’t be as touchy in public as at home but he will tolerate pretty much any touch from you! Doesn’t get embarrassed easily so if you start dancing in the streets he’ll mostly just keep watch to make sure nobody walks into you or you don’t trip. Will let you use him as a dancing partner even if he’s as still as a pole.

I think he gravitates to people that are both strong physically to some degree and also traumatized or a little fucked up. He might not know abt any of that for sure when u meet but he has a sixth sense for these things.

Regardless, he will make sure you know how to take care of yourself. Marksmanship training and workouts incoming, plus self-defense classes. It is a must, especially if you’re a woman or otherwise fem-presenting/visibly queer/vulnerable.

If you use mobility aids, he might get a *bit* overprotective of them and you. Will be grabby with wheelchairs until it is sternly explained to him to Not Do That. It makes him feel better when he can help you, but he understands and respects your independence!

If anything happens that will cause you to need mobility aids (such as a car accident or physical illness) this man’s taking a long ass leave and staying with you to help you out. He probably knows of some retired military men with mobility aids and assistance needs and will contact them to get a better idea of how to help you.

I see him as someone who likes to work with his hands so I can imagine him straight up building you mobility aids or wheelchairs and walkers and stuff like that. It might take him a couple of attempts until he makes something serviceable but he’d get there.

He is generally extremely calm, naturally just quiet. Still very much a family man (have you seen how he’s with his family in the comics????). He’s very soft, likes to be helpful and take charge of the household like a housewife more than ‘head of the family’ (you're most likely to be the 'top' here).

Will request control of finances if you’re a spender. Might forcibly take control over finances if you're really shit at them.

As calm as he is though, he is still a military man, and they are statistically likely to be… less than stellar partners. Ghost is never violent and if he gets mad he prefers to leave the house, put some distance between the two of you to calm down.

He will be especially prone to disappearing while mad/upset if you’re a woman/fem-leaning, because due to his upbringing he struggles with intrusive thoughts of violence towards women.

If you are the type to throw things, hit things, or degrade/insult him during arguments, he is permanently leaving and not coming back. No amount of apologizing is going to change that decision. He has self-respect and will not stand being abused or mistreated like that. His feelings for you disappear into thin air if you’re that type of angry person.

His toxicity would mostly come from him being emotionally unavailable and thus neglectful. He just has a hard time understanding how some actions come off. Will need long, mature conversations about it that will be difficult for both sides to get things settled here. Willing to hear and understand and change though! But you’d have to give him very clear instructions and behaviors to model.

Ghost’s brother, Tommy (rip), was addicted to drugs and almost died because of them, was quite the piece of shit—which Ghost rectified by forcing him into sobriety and getting him a wife. As such, Ghost hates drugs because he knows what they can do, and doesn’t partake in any. Even medical drugs, especially ones for depression (which he should be taking) are pushing it for him.

However, if he ever starts spiralling—which is rare but can happen—he goes for them real quick. Like, he jumps off the deep end. The spirals very often lead towards suicidal ideation and within a day he can go from “doesn’t even look at drugs” to overdosing on heroin.

Will be in a horribly fragile state for at least a week afterwards. Will need a lot of care and comfort to stay in a relationship (especially after the first time he spirals with you present), cause he’s still eye-deep in self-hatred and needs help to see past it. Grows extra clingy in that period if he has been Convinced. Like, hands on you all the time, following you to every room. He almost lost this??? Let him appreciate it now that he can do it again.

He’s gonna need some time to return to himself. Especially if he was in a hospital. He hates that place.

Will go to therapy but is not happy about it. If you’ve been together long, he might request that you come with him but listen to music so you can’t actually hear anything—he just wants to hold you like a stress ball.

Will melt if you go out of your way to do romantic gestures. He doesn’t do these often himself—at least not the stereotypical ones like flowers—but if you do it for him??? He might not show it with much enthusiasm, but he grows very quiet and soft and smiley, obsesses over the gift for as long as it lasts and needs to stay close to you for a while after. It’s a very small joy but it is marrow-deep and warm, soothing and comforting.

Overall I hc him as being very reserved emotionally but a pretty good boyfriend! If you have rejection sensitive dysphoria I can imagine you going thru the trenches with this man tho—curse his lack of facial expressions ToT

[nevertheless-moving]

“The other day,” Skar added, “he was talking about what he’s doing there. It sounded an awful lot like he was learning how to read.” The men shifted uncomfortably. “So?” Kaladin asked. “What’s the problem? Sigzil can read his own language. Storms, I can read glyphs.” “It’s not the same,” Skar said. “It’s feminine,” Drehy added. “Drehy,” Kaladin said, “you are literally courting a man.” “So?” Drehy said. “Yeah, what are you saying, Kal?” Skar snapped. “Nothing! I just thought Drehy might empathize.…” “That’s hardly fair,” Drehy said. “Yeah,” Lopen added. “Drehy likes other guys. That’s like … he wants to be even less around women than the rest of us. It’s the opposite of feminine. He is, you could say, extra manly.”

Different possible explanations for this scene, to be taken up depending on which headcanon would be the funniest for a given fic:

While being gay is more broadly acceptable than being unmanly, conflating gender roles with sexuality is not uncommon; the other guys have just gotten more than one drunken lecture from Drehy about how he hates being treated womanly just because he likes dick. Kaladin was obviously working those nights.

Under Vorinism, Gender roles are rigid, but a range of sexualities are perfectly fine. The ardent who visited Kaladin's hometown was just a freak who hated gay people so much it was unreal, and took great pains to explain to the boys of this isolated rural town the unhinged idea that marrying a man was OBVIOUSLY womanly and therefore Bad. He mostly unlearned that shit after joining the army but is a bit confused. It doesn't come up often.

There was one (1) elderly queer couple in heartstone growing up, and one of the men was super gnc, which made people uncomfortable but his parents always told him that you shouldn't shame people for harmless joy. so, yeah, Kaladin just sort of figured that in a relationship between guys, one of them is the woman. He assumes Renarin is gay and I mean. He's not wrong. Part of the reason he never accepted friendly offers of soldier companionship. Not that there's anything wrong with it. He never asked Drehy who was who, because its none of his business and he didn't want to know.

the only times Kaladin has personally ever noticed being attracted to another man is when the guy was doing something womanly. Is it a kink? Is it an extremely dense man needing someone to stand on top of clearly marked social signposts and wave their arms for him to even register them as a sexual being? who knows! not Kaladin! he doesn't have time to unpack any of that. anyway he assumed that all same sex attraction worked the same way and obviously never actually talked about it with a living person. actually I'm expanding this to cover all of Kaladin's sexuality just to make him extra stupid. first time he noticed Tarah was when she punched a dude.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

I'm getting a bit tired of the fandom's overwhelming consensus that Eddie is surely gay even thought there are plenty reasons why his relationships with women would not have worked out.

Personally bisexuality makes more sense to me, and I feel like that's what the show is trying to show, too. And since the show already had "closeted gay man in a "straight" marriage, I think it would make more sense to go for Bi Eddie.

Because Eddie is different from Buck even if he's also bi. Religion. His family's expectations. Marriage. Parenthood. And I also think - earlier realization of sexuality even though he remains closeted. Fun fact: that's what bisexuals do! Even in supportive environments, we stay in the closet the most and the longest.

I'd really like for Eddie to be bi.

Eddie's the type of bi in disguise that the world is full of and nobody notices because the marriage with a woman would be a true one.

This matters because it seems like there's this odd idea that these bisexuals are doing fine in the closet. Why talk about them?

The reality is actually that according to just about every study, bisexuals are distinctly not fine.

The biphobia and erasure comes from all directions. People expect and understand the concept of heterosexuality and homosexuality well enough. Bisexuals...?

It's called the Double Closet. Expectation to either be straight, or gay, and if you're anything else you're just confused.

Also, bisexuals may not just have shitty parents. They also end up falling in love and marrying people who are biphobic. Fun times.

Anyway, I'm listing my reasons why Eddie being into women and men would make the most sense to me:

He agreed with Shannon that sex was never the issue for them.

His marriage to Shannon failing? He was young, the pregnancy was unplanned, he was pushed to marry a high-school sweetheart at young age and then facing the stress of trying to figure out how to raise a special needs child with her.

He went to a war, and returned traumatized. Trauma tends to make everything even harder.

Their mutual lack of trust and communication.

Meddling parents.

Perhaps... Being a closeted bisexual dating a woman who does not know.

Because that's one way to keep a partner at a distance - by hiding a part of yourself.

Losing a loved one, being afraid to love again.

Being pushed to date too soon after grief and trauma.

Falling for a male friend who he thinks is straight.

Being pushed to date someone else.

Oh and the panic attacks - Learning that his friends have died,

being shot by a sniper and thinking Buck was hurt,

ending up in a rapidly developing relationship with someone who is falling in love with him...

When he just likes her... but feels pressured to keep the relationship going anyway.

Because his son loves that person, and Eddie is programmed to go for marriage in every relationship he ends up in. Catholic guilt... They love marriage.

Family expecting him to be straight. Family pushing him to date despite him saying he isn't ready.

Being totally new in the dating world. No wonder he talks about performance anxiety and feeling like he needs to perform - his heart isn't in it.

Also he's probably never even been on dates. How to act on dates? He's not a teenager anymore, it's embarrassing and awkward to fumble and not know the dating culture.

Also when we first meet Eddie he's only been with one woman. Women aren't carbon copies. Sex can be intimate and awkward with someone new. Of course he'd be nervous.

Then finding out that his girlfriend was almost a nun... and being closeted bisexual!

And so on. Nothing actually says the man MUST be gay, and I feel weirded out by the insistence that he surely is gay.

I feel like... Maybe the show expected this, that people would dismiss his interest towards women, and wanted to make the queer community check their prejudice?

Because that episode which focuses on Eddie's fight club and has that super queer coded ice skating scene??

It's Hansel pushing Gretel away... How gay! Expect then we find out that Hansel was only scared that she would miss out an huge opportunity by staying with her. A role in the big leagues.

And that joke about Bobby being a hockey player and a figure skater??? And saying

"Who says you can't do both?" while a piece composed by Paganini - also famous for mastering both guitar and violin, plays.

The shot shows Buck AND Eddie, and Hen with Chimney looking and pointing at them in amazement.

Saying "We'll google for photos later!"

Maybe the implication of

"Who says you can't do both" being referred to isn't just

"Who says you can't do both women and men?"

.... but ALSO "Who says you can't write both of these characters to be bi?".

[ticklepinions]

Ranting below!!!

Men PISS ME OFF RAAAAAAAAGH

Nothing grinds my gears more than a man treating you like nothing because he doesn't wanna fuck you. The absolute gall some men have to think that because I'm queer I may be interested in them. Fuck right AWF like NO! Some men really got nothing better to do than be stupid fucking assholes. But if I were a woman they were attracted to they'd behave!? Fucked up!!!! Do better PLEASE. And I know this is nothing new or whatever but i've just about had it 😭😭😭. Straight men are truly just afraid to be treated the same way they treat women. Ooh they PISS ME OFF!!! I hate straight men throw em AWAY!!!!! FUCK

And and and, I was told not to post the ask but I got permission to highlight it. The homophobia here is so fucking bad. Like hello! If you are not interested in talking to the same sex/gender/whatever fucking rule/boundary you have say it up front! People on here for the most part mean well but assuming someone wants to get in your pants because of their orientation is bonkers. You are conceited and full of yourself and I hope you step on a lego.

It's fine to only want to speak to certain people about this kink/interest/whatever tickling is to you. It's *not* okay to be passive aggressive or borderline rude to people who are just trying to make friends on here, especially when they haven't purposely crossed your not very clear boundaries. It's obviously a diff story if they knew about it and disregarded it ofc, but just be mindful. Anyways

:)

[menlove]

yknow your fantastic post about closeted paul and how he's (probably) come to accept his queerness/bisexuality, but simply keeps it private for multiple reasons? what would you say was john's case?

(i personally believe he was a closeted gay man but idk how to Phrase Things. Sigh.)

oh i 10000000% believe john was a gay man with a lot of Problems. like. i know, i know, in later life he talked about liking men & women & we have that hysterical "john lennon's bisexual guide to gardening" quote but likeeeeeeeeee.... idk. here's my Speculations under the cut

several things, to me. yes, he fucked a lot of women (a lot). but of the 4 of them, during the beatles years he really didn't.... have any steady girlfriends. it's not like he was the only married one and it's not like he had any hangups about cheating, so it's really not that. the ONLY rumor there is was one that he "dated" an older woman (blanking on her name rn) and even thennnn those rumors were, afaik, just based on the fact that he was kind of sad when she died & that he viewed her as a mother figure. which is... i mean that's not convincing like at all to me.

the Three Biggest Relationships in his life w women were cynthia, yoko, and may pang. the rest were women he fucked around with as one night stands. again, as far as i'm aware. and cynthia..... well it's not really hard to see that he very much (unfortunately) did not give that much of a fuck about her. it's the most classic case of comphet i've ever seen. he dated her bc he was supposed to & then he married her bc she got pregnant and he was supposed to.

and yoko....... lord. i won't deny that he loved her. but it was, from literally everything we've seen, a very obsessive love that had less to do w their personal chemistry and more to do with Circumstances. and even with her, there's sooo many quotes of him talking about how he liked her bc she looked like a man, or looked like him in drag, or acted like a bloke/best mate. that's. not to doubt him but that's just not something someone into women says lmfao.

and that's not to mention the whole debacle w probable conversion therapy. and like. this is no hate to yoko & again i believe she was a flawed individual just like any of them were & we have truly got to embrace her morally gray status just like any man bc we can't demonize OR idealize women when women are Literally Just People. but from some of her quotes & outside sources she was very uncomfortable w the idea of his queerness. and hell, there's the "you think of rock hudson when we do it" line, which is both honestly pretty fucking homophobic but also very indicative of where john was, sexuality wise

and as for may, that whole situation was honestly so fucked up and tragic for Both of them that getting into it would take a novel but like. that wasn't exactly his first choice in partner

and in his quotes about Being Into Men, what he says is basically that with women he is fine fucking without an emotional connection but w men he needs that emotional connection & he hasn't found that with a man. which i think is him bullshitting, btw, but the core of it there that he can't fuck a man without emotions is... well that's really telling. it seems like sex with women to him is just sex, whereas sex with men to him is a deep, emotional thing. and that's, again, just not really something someone into women would be saying with their chest

i'm pretty sure he Also has a quote about never having found a woman attractive which is just telling all on its own

and as for Being Into Men...... well he talked about it himself. but also, there's at LEAST stuart, paul, and brian that would go right at the top of the list for me of men he had an incredibly close & intimate relationship with, one-sided or not. i don't think it's incidental that he referred to paul constantly as his other partner in life, his other marriage, etc while like. literally barely ever mentioning cynthia. like it's super telling, the johnandpaul of it aside, that he talks more about his Boy Best Friend when talking about past marriages than his literal wife lmfao

i think he had a LOT of internalized homophobia & anger with himself over it ("scared of his inner fag" as he said). bc of that, i don't think he let himself get as close to the men he was probably in love with as he wanted to be, or even let himself acknowledge just how emotionally attached he was to them. by the end of his life, i think he WAS coming to terms with liking men, at least. was he coming to terms with Not liking women? i don't know. probably not, although i know his and yoko's marriage was in a rough place by the end of his life so who knows really.

i would hope that if he'd lived that by now he would've found peace w his sexuality, bi or gay, but that's not the world we got unfortunately

[akajustmerry]

bisexuals aren’t gay they’re bisexual. it’s not the same. gay people face persecution worlwide and cannot marry or date the person they love in more than 70% of countries on this planet. bi people can opt out and date the opposite sex whenever they want

so no being bi is not even remotely comparable

oh my fucking gooooooooood i SAID if I received ANY bi privilege discourse asks I would be billing for time wasted.

So hello! I'm an unemployed trans bisexual of colour who was bullied out of their last workplace and is currently recovering from debilitating surgery. In the time it took you to type this biphobic gobbledygook out, you could have donated a few dollars to my paypal or ko-fi so so I have less stress paying for doctors appointments and buying groceries.

you clearly a) hate bi people and b) assume we're all cis gender nonconforming people in "straight" relationships which isn't fucking true c) if this ask is in response to the asks I received about fucking...LESTAT being bisexual in iwtv??? the two main relationships he has in that show are with MEN so what the fuck are you talking about?? and d) do you seriously think bi people in gay relationships have a magical forcefield around us so we're not impacted by homophobia?? do you think trans bi people's ability to be in "straight" relationships saves us from transphobia?

I'll tell you what being bi definitely doesn't save you from - intimate partner violence! and bisexual women especially are at the highest risk. Or did you think it was merely a coincidence that Amber Heard, Megan Thee Stallion, and Evan Rachel Wood - who all had high profile IPV court cases in the last few years - are all bisexual women?

The idea that bi people can "opt out" of danger is simply not accurate or true when bisexual women are at the highest risk of violence in both "straight" and queer relationships. bi women are at risk of DV from men as well as experiencing the same homophobic persecution any gay person does while in a gay relationship. tell me, how's your fucking "opt out because they're not gay" theory of bisexuality looking now? Sure, many bi people are in "straight" relationships, but this isn't even unique to bi people. Like are you also going to claim that queer people in lavender arrangements or abstaining from relationships all together also have "opted out"?? Be serious. Be so fucking serious.

Oh. Do me one last favour! can you contact the members of my own family who no longer speak to me because they found out I was bisexual? Can you explain to my dad's cousin who told me I needed therapy to "fix" my homosexuality that, actually, I can also fuck guys so it's fine? That'd be lovely, thanks.

Anyways so glad we had this whole chat. I have no fucking clue what people want from these kinds of discussions about bisexuality other than an excuse to be a piece of shit. get well soon though <3

[femsolid]

There was a talk show on french TV the other day about trans parents and their children. One of the guests was a butch lesbian truck driver and her daughter. The show's host asked the daughter if there were any telltale sign that her mother was a man and the daughter said that her mom ("dad" she called her) had interests and hobbies that were traditionnaly associated with men. I still can't believe I have to hear this shit in 2023. The mother said that she just couldn't bear the thought of being a "masculine woman". She just could NOT be a masculine woman. No way. Being a butch lesbian was unacceptable to her. Therefore she had to be a man. She said she had nothing against masculine women, that she even fell in love with one, it just couldn't be her. But sitting there on the couch... she was exactly that. She was not feminine, she was not a man either, she was a butch lesbian. She just had to pretend (and make everyone pretend with her) that she was a straight man for her to be okay with who she was. And that was pretty sad. Because in the end it means she still isn't okay with who she is. An interesting thing she said was that she only started thinking of transitioning after she heard some french idiots use the word "queer" and she looked it up on the internet and discovered all the propaganda associated and then here she was, boom, a man. An online epiphany. I'm happy she found a way to let go of the pressure of femininity and hope she's happier this way, but the thought process behind it is so incredibly regressive, sexist and homophobic it's hard to stomach.

There was also a transbro invited with his daughter. She said that she and her little brother found out about their dad by discovering his secret instagram account on which he was pretending to be a woman. She also explained that since he had started his transition he was making his children's life a living hell at home. She justified and excused it by claiming he was going through female puberty. The father nodded with a big smile on his face. Haha cute and amusing. Apparently, his doctor told him that the hormones he's taking are turning him into a teenage girl. And teenage girls are annoying, emotional and irrational of course, we all know that, so voilà. The daughter of another transbro said the same thing, that her dad was going through his teenage girl phase and was therefore crying and screaming for no reason. The show's psychologist suprisingly intervened to say it had nothing to do with being female and everything to do with the artifical hormones intake causing mood swings. I would argue that narcissism and misogyny are at play as well.

Another interesting part was when they discussed the fact that trans identified parents have often fantasized about being a member of the opposite sex for a long time but their family on the other hand typically had no idea and is shocked when they discover it. The trans identifying person rushes everything because in their perception they've been waiting for a long time. So they're like: now you know! So pretend with me and be okay with it! But to the family it's completely sudden, so to be asked to forget about the person they know, stop using their name, be an unwilling witness to their sexual changes and be just fine with it is... an impossible task.

And on the topic of sexual changes there were discussions, initiated by the psychologist, about how disturbing it is for the children to become involved in their parents' sex lives. Because through talks of phalloplasties, vaginoplasties, estrogen to induce breast growth, etc, the parents are indeed making the children a part of their sex lives and all the (now adult) daughters agreed that it was uncomfortable to say the least. Like when your dad is recovering from turning his penis into a hole or getting fake breasts you're forced to become aware and part of it. It was interesting that only daughters were present as well. Of course all of them, no matter how uncomfortable, said we should support transitioning and that was the conclusion of the show. I didn't listen to everything because I was working at the same time but. Yeah. All in all, the usual.

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

ok i know the sex ed post was ages ago but I saw it in your most liked tab and it got me thinking, particularly with zukka, that even though they had sex ed they wouldn't have had gay sex ed. zuko grew up with sailors + the royal family in homophobic fire nation, and sokka got probably taught by gran gran about having babies. so all i can think is that if they decided to take that step when older, they are gonna have no clue what to do. queue sokka very very awkwardly shuffling up to bato who he knows is in a relationship with his dad and saying can I ask a question. promise not to laugh at me. except bato is less amused and more mildly horrified that sokka has chosen him to answer these questions

oh my god yeah. like, i'm not sure gran-gran's sex ed would've been heteronormative - depends on what you think the southern water tribe's attitudes are - but there's a very strong possibility that sokka, as a sexist teenage boy who thought he was straight, may have been like GRAN-GRAN EWWW STOP LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING

like the convo went: here's how babies happen -> sometimes grown-ups do this without the intent to make babies -> people can also do it with people of the same physical sex -> sokka running away screaming

he now regrets that.

for zuko, i think he might have. um. hands-on experience. y'know. on the ferry. with jet. does that prepare him for being in an actual relationship? probably not.

i'm not sure either of them would want to ask for guidance tbh. both of them canonically have experience with women (azula saying "mai seems to be in a good mood lately" had an undertone to it, sokka and suki in "the southern raiders") and zuko has some experience with men, so they'd probably just assume it's fine. figure it out as they go. it can't be that hard, right?

that said the image of sokka asking bato for advice on having gay sex is SO funny. bato knew he was signing up to be a dad when he started dating hakoda but he didn't think he'd have to give The Talk. also he has to be really careful about what examples he uses since his current gay sex partner is sokka's dad. (i imagine bato had some other relationships, but they all ended bc they realized he'd never value them above hakoda.) also sokka is asking specifically because he wants to have sex with the fire lord and like bato knew they were dating but he's never gonna get over how weird his life is now. "my stepson is asking me advice on gay sex so he can fuck the fire lord". truly wild.

meanwhile zuko has started spending time at piandao's bc he needs a father figure since iroh fucked off to ba sing se (plus piandao knows fire nation politics & can help him navigate being the fire lord) so he walks in one day and is like "yeah i have a question. not about politics but uhh. personal stuff" and piandao's like "oh what is it" and zuko tells him and piandao is like "i'm so honored you're asking me" and goes to his library and finds him a guide to gay sex that got banned in the fire nation but piandao managed to find a copy (he has a lot of illegal gay lit) and hands it to him like. go have fun kiddo. i'm rooting for you guys.

the other possibility is that suki (who is still dating sokka, they have an open relationship) finds out they want to have sex and knowing the state of their sex ed decides that they need a Lesson. it's a very good lesson because kyoshi island has very good queer positive sex ed but sokka has some interesting feelings about his girlfriend teaching him how to have sex with his boyfriend. not bad feelings. just interesting

ANYWAYS this is a fun topic and thank you for the mental image of sokka asking bato about gay sex

[t-dick-sapphic]

About

No minors — I recommend you visit scarleteen.com instead for sexy stuff made for you! Anyone 18+ can follow but I prefer you only send asks or DMs if you’re over 21

My original text posts are filed under #starlingsays; plus #actual escapades if they’re about something I’ve actually done. Asks go under #starlingchats. My audio recordings are under #my audio. Start up a conversation with me and I might just record something just for you

Taken emojis: 🌾, 🎞️, 🍓 (send an ask and join the fun -- but be warned, you may end up irreparably corrupted 😘)

I'm flattered by any attention as long as it's in a gay/queer way!

I welcome unsolicited DMs or pics

✨ FAVORITE THINGS: public / sneaky / exhibitionist sex, intox, telling my butch partner all about the slutty things i get up to, corruption kink (being corrupted but especially doing the corrupting) ✨

✅ More things I'm into: somno, light/medium cnc, fucking myself / getting fucked in skirts, girlcock, tdick, t4t of all varieties! Also rough sex (especially with tender aftercare), big messy cumshots, facefucking, ✅

🛑 NOT INTO: petplay / pup play, pregnancy, inc3st / explicit fauxcest, forcefem, raceplay 🛑

More about me under the cut

Don't expect face photos but if you want to picture me, I'm white, dark hair in an undercut, several piercings and tats, top surgery scars, small but sturdy build.

I've been on T for ~7 years now and it's given me a deeper voice, a happy trail, nice muscle tone, and...well, my username hints at my favorite part. Most of all, T has made me SO horny 😳

Genderqueer, sapphic, & mlm (kinda? I like men in a gay way but I’m not a man myself).

I’m neither butch nor femme, but enjoy butch/femme dynamics and am happy to imagine myself into them sometimes. Also into playing a twink

I'm happy to be a top or bottom / dom or sub, in charge or completely at someone's mercy, or to play outside of those kinds of dynamics entirely. (irl i default to subby bottom lol, but on here i love the chance to play as top / dom)

I have a partner, a butch I love beyond words — but that doesn't mean you can't talk dirty to me. Believe me, she doesn't mind, and I might just tell her all about your message later ;)

Language I like for myself

Love getting called pretty boy or good boy, as well as slut, whore, pervert, or getting called depraved

I'm don't love cunt or boycunt but fine if they're used occasionally, preference is hole

DON'T like pussy / boypussy

Love when you talk about my tdick / cock. "Boycock" is fine i guess, as is dick but i really prefer cock or tdick

If you try something out and I don't like it, no harm done! I'll correct you and we can move on from it

I'll tag meticulously; feel free to request I start using certain tags.

I know DNIs aren't all that effective but if I realize a transphobe / racist / antisemite / Zionist / ableist / any other kind of bigot is following me I'll fucking block you. I’ll be doing my best not to reblog from TERFs etc. but if anyone notices me accidentally do so please let me know so I can delete.

Trans women, especially all you lovely sapphic transfems and 😍 trans butches 😍 out there, I love you; let me know if there's anything I need to do to make you feel welcome here <3

[cumscrotesailboat]

I finished Citrus, the "infamous" GL that i keep hearing about and as far as i've seen, its only the anime thats insanely weird. The manga is super different from the anime adaptation. There's a lot to critique with this series BUT the argument i hear saying that it caters primarily to men is not quite accurate. It was made by a sapphic woman, of which the story was inspired by a real experience she had, published by a company that caters to QUEER women. It certainly wasn't made with men in mind.

(Also, spoiler at the bottom if you have plans on reading it)

With that out of the way, the "incest" subplot of the series felt like it had little significance to the narrative of the story. The only time it was being mentioned was the Blonde MC's inner dialogue about how she can't possibly be with the Black haired MC because they're sister and that's it. At the end, their parents agreed to not get married so the two can legally be married. There was no push back on the parents or anyone they knew, it was just there. I can't tell what the author's purpose with it is. In another wlw series i read, the incest subplot was there to shut down the argument "If same-sex love is ok, then that should mean incest love is ok too bcs it doesnt affect anyone right?", but in here I can't be sure if its for drama or if its for the "spicy forbidden love awoogawooga" japanese anime fans seem to love. Personally, i think its the former. It's drama but very weak drama. I don't wanna write off the latter that fast either. Sapphic women can get weird with incest fantasies too. I personally am not into it bcs its incest, crazy take i know, but sure ig? This one I don't really care since it had such little effect on the narrative that you can just ignore it or even delude yourself with thinking it wasn't there at all and your understanding of the series would still be fine.

For the sexual assaults in the early chapters. I dont fucking know man, why did she do that? I mean, we know why, she was trying to push the Blonde MC away as seen in the letter but uhh.. 🤷🤷🤷? Sexual misconducts, harrassment, and assault just makes me feel uncomfortable so this is the one I dont like with the series at all. To give meaning to it (just bcs i dont wanna gloss over it that fast), the black haired MC did that as an impulsive act of selfishness, isolation, and fear of companionship. Early chapters has her shown as shackled by her family's legacy so she was cold and also fucked up.

Another thing are the supporting characters, there's this middle schooler that just fucking REEKS of trauma and the series just doesn't address that. It's so funny bcs you are 13 girl, don't talk as if you're in that grown up world you keep talking about. They're all great tho, even if they felt flat. One thing i keep noticing with nowadays consumption of literary is that every character has to be well-rounded, no it doesn't! its fine if the main cast are the only rounded ones! but yeah, that middle schooler has to be stopped. Please author, what the fuck is wrong with that kid😭☠️

Overall, its really not as bad as its reputation precedes it to be. Its weird yeah but not as weird as the majority of people say it to be. Its fluffy and drama and it definitely wasn't made for men. It's really whatever and only got its reputation bcs of that weird ass anime adaptation thats trying to cater to those freak ass "otakus". Saying that word makes me feel disgusted, jesus christ. I have mixed feelings if its a series I'd recommend bcs there are other series that are better but what i'm sure is its an okay read. I'm big to romance and drama and this series has that. It didn't make me cry but it made me feel tense and sad for the characters, and in my book thats a successful attempt at those genre.

My only gripe with it really is the unnecessary incest and SA, thats why its getting a low score for me. Everything else was fine

anw balls

[castlebyersafterdark]

"I'd love to read more breakdowns on the details as to as to what people who really love omegaverse specifically love about it"

Ok sure! I cannot speak for everyone who likes omegaverse stuff but I'm happy to talk about what I like about it.

Obviously it's a really really broad genre with a lot of different aspects, and not every aspect is gonna appeal to every reader, but I think that's honestly really cool! Like I personally am not super into the breeding/pregnancy aspect, but I can definitely see the appeal of it for people who want to play around with gender (or people who are just into breeding, live and let live!).

What I DO really like about omegaverse fics is the way a lot of the build up/sexual tension (at least in the ones I've read) is very much about how the character's desire and arousal is so intense that it eventually becomes impossible to control. I can see how this might be a turn off for a lot people, as it can get into dubious consent territory, but the way I look at it (and I'm gonna get a lil heavy here) is like: for a lot women & queer people, we're taught that our sexuality and desires are wrong, right? So you feel shameful about having sexual desire (even tho it's totally normal). So there's something kinda liberating about giving up control of those desires and letting them overtake you, in way that it's kinda not your fault if that makes sense? To me, it's very much the same kinda thing as like, bodice ripper romance novels where women aren't "allowed" to indulge in their sexual desires even though they want to.

So that's the main thing. Other stuff I like, and this is gonna sound super nerdy, but I honestly love the world building of a lot of omegaverse fics? Like, some stories are just in a world exactly like ours except people have an A/B/O category, and those are fine, but other stories really explore how the world would be different if people were like that in lots of cool ways. I'm a nerd, I want my porn to have lore!

And to address the anon's point, I also don't really see how it's beastiality. Like sure, animalistic is not an unfair adjective, but people are animals? And just because omegaverse erotica embraces a more primal view of sex doesn't make it anywhere near beastiality. Like, omegaverse is honestly so tame compared to like, monster fucking (and once again that's not shade! Live and let live!).

Thank you for the perspective!! Love reading about this stuff and getting insight to fandom topics like this.

The TENSION and intensity of arousal is what's the appealing aspect to me, since some of the other coinciding kinks are not it for me, but I can get past those for a general interest in seeing what's being portrayed if the writing's good. It's a fantasy - obviously a lot of the stuff portrayed would probably not be so fantastic in reality, but it's not reality. It's almost like, magical realism? Fantasy genre for sure, omegaverse. Which is an interesting concept to consider. And yeah!!!! I totally see what you're saying with the societal view of certain demographic's sexuality and expressing it. That's kind of what I like with fanfic myself, getting to tap into intimacy and sex that isn't really portrayed in media for gay men, especially guys like myself who lean kinda more hmmm sensitive and heavily into romance in media type? It's just not as common a thing, this really intricate and detailed exploration. So I've found that outlet through fanfic.

So, in the interest of an expression of all consuming arousal and passion and raw sexual indulgence, it's all there with omegaverse. It's filling a niche that certain people really want, but you're not going to find in mainstream media. And the other part I appreciate about the trope is the lore! I find the fact that this trope has to have at least a little world building, is so fascinating.

I guess the things that are limits for me and I just breeze past are the pregnancy things. It's not a gripe, and I love that there's an interesting outlet for those who are into the literal breeding aspect, I don't down on what people are into. But that's not for me, but it's also not what I'm reading it for! It's the intensity and the world building as discussed above haha. I guess also the way that sex physically happens isn't really like, super hot to me but I can def see it conceptually being so? I'll skip the the details since it's not important because the fics aren't for me, I'm just there for entertainment really hahaha. I think something to keep in mind is not everything needs to appeal to every person!! Live and let live for sure!! And I guess it's just funny to me comparing it to bestiality or anything actually animalistic because everything I've read all characters seem very human completely, it's all instinct and emotion and biology changes, not species. I have a few acquaintances who are into furry fandom and hmm. That's very blatant. Not for me either, and if omegaverse is too animalistic... stay back haha. But again, it's not judgement. I love fandom and the internet because with a little effort - you find your people, you find your fandom. There's something for everyone because if there's one thing people are gonna be, it's the duality of horniness and creativity. Live and let live!!

[redditreceipts]

You have no idea how grateful i am for your blog. Its eye opening and i no longer feel like a hysterical bitch for worrying about what some trans movements (and im talking about those that want to police cis womens bodies too, not only theirs) was doing to feminism for past years.

Don't get me wrong... i think its fine when they do what makes them happy as long as they dont hurt other people. But more and more it feels like trans women want to dominate female spaces. And honestly, no matter how hard i try, i cant stop thinking thats its just male need to be always in the centre of attention. They come to us and instead of finding companionship and trying to fit in... they bring they own idea what a "woman" is and try to force it on every woman. Ones they dont agree with them they dubbed terfs and think that end of discussion. Another example of male entitlement if you ask me.

Im tired of bending backwards to appease them and once again ignoring womens issues as not to hurt trans womens feelings. Shouldn't they too be more empathetic towards cis women? Shouldn't they feel camaraderie with us? I'm yet to find trans woman who fights for feminist issues that dont concern her (i.e reproductive rights applicable only to bio women) with such ferocity cis women who are TRA fight for her right to be called a "woman". I'd want to be proven otherwise but more and more it seems like we're being talked over by men and male socialised people.

Sorry this came out long and probably makes no sense, but i feel like such a failure as a queer person to think like that. Maybe i am. But as a woman im tired of being silenced all over again. Now by the very people that claim sisterhood to me. But it feels like I'm the only one expected to hold my part of the bargain, they are exempt for some mysterious reasons. It's exhausting, I'm exhausted and honestly losing hope that my problems as a biological woman will ever be taken seriously.

Hey :)

I feel you in how difficult it can be to not feel like you have any people who see the same things you do. I also felt alone for so long because I had this nagging feeling about certain things, but most of the people I could find who were worried about the trans movement were conservative. 

And I also get what it feels like to force yourself into cognitive dissonance. It’s hard to try and convince yourself of things that are so blatantly untrue, and in the end, it doesn’t work. at least not if you’re a same-sex attracted woman who is a lot in LGBT spaces and can’t just “ignore” these things.

And I guess that there are some trans women who genuinely care about women’s issues, the thing is that they are not heard or uplifted because at some point they have to admit that women and trans women are different categories, and the trans activists can’t have that. So every discussion can not be about material issues, but it has to be about the use of language and pseudo-philosophical debates. Because if you look at material reality, you notice that cis women and trans women are not just different types of women, but different sexes altogether (even though trans women sometimes live their lives as though they were female and experience discrimination because of that as well). 

But most male-to-female trans activists are displaying such apparently male behaviour (sexualisation of women, talking over women, not taking women seriously, etc.) that you’d ask yourself why they don’t get dysphoria from that? I mean if I were a male who wanted to be a female, I’d at least try to appear female in some capacity lmao. I sometimes ask myself whether these people actually feel gender dysphoria or whether they have some other mental health problem that has nothing to do with being transgender. 

But you’re not a failure as a queer person. Actually, I don’t think it’s productive to use that term because being “queer” is some nebulous concept whose creation had only the goal to confuse and obscure the “oppression” of biological sex and material reality. Even a kinky straight guy is queer, a straight woman who gets off on reading Yaoi is queer, and by a strict application of the term “queer” as “people who don’t conform to cultural norms around gender and/or sexuality”, even paedophiles are queer. That’s not to say that trans activists use it that way, but the definition leaves space for all kinds of unethical paraphilias. Being queer is not an oppressed class. What is an oppressed class is being a woman, being same-sex attracted, being gender non-conforming, etc. 

You don’t owe the “queer community” anything. You owe it to people who suffer under systems of oppression like racism, capitalism, homophobia etc. to advocate for their rights and treat them as equals. You don’t owe it to some straight guy who watched too much lesbian porn to advocate for his rights. Literally nobody is oppressing him. 

I actually think that at some point, women will realise their shared interests and stand up for themselves. My only fear is that to come to that point, we will go through some sort of conservative “Dark Ages”, but maybe we can do something to prevent that by showing a third way to analyse gender on the basis of material reality. It’s cool that you’re interested in that as well :) 

[johannestevans]

oh patron saint of boy sluts, how do you know if a guy is a chaser? I recently downloaded grindr and I really don't know where in a conversation that mostly consists of "hey what's up" "what are you looking for?" "want to hook up rn?" I would like ask a question to find out (what question even) or find out otherwise unless they say something about how they are only into afab people with a front hole/ trans men or something lol. Like if I'd ask if they're a chaser and or if they like cis dick as well they would probably lie if they are a chaser? Maybe I just hook up too quickly and I should talk more and longer to find out but uh do I want to keep talking? Not really. I suppose maybe it doesn't matter whether he's straight or not since I'm just gonna get fucked and never see him again but i don't really want to fuck a straight guy/chaser

Nah, it absolutely does matter.

If a straight man sees you as a woman, he's more likely to have a blasé approach to whether you consent to sex, let alone whether you enjoy yourself, and that's not something you need to deal with or open yourself up to - there's no need to deal with creeps who want to misgender you or only see trans people as fetish objects.

I personally think chasers are creeps, and I don't fuck self-identified straight guys or closeted bi guys who don't hang out with other queer men, have a lot of internalised homophobia, and are attached to the straight label, just because like... You have to unpack a lot of stuff and be quite vulnerable to embrace your attraction to other men, and that vulnerability is important when realising not only your own sexual desires but the needs and wants of other people.

When someone is like "Oh, I'm not queer, I'm just into transgender people," it's often from a place of objectifying us and seeing us as fetish objects as well as insecurity about their own desires, and when someone lowkey sees you as an object and is reducing you just to your fetish appeal, there's no reason you should trust them to treat you well or safely. This applies not just to being trans, but also from a racial POV, as a disabled person, etc.

Completely fine to engage in this sort of fetish play with a trusted partner if that's your thing, but if chasers give you the ick, it's a completely normal and understandable one to have.

This is from my Grindr guide for trans men, the section on chasers at the end:

How do I deal with chasers?

Some people fuck chasers — I definitely think there’s degrees to how much someone is weird or uncomfortable. Some people are fine with being someone’s fetish or someone specifically getting off on them being a man with a cunt or whatever.

How do you know if someone’s a chaser?

I’ll be honest, if I see a cisgender man and he’s found my profile via the ftm or trans tag — which you can tell when he messages you — I put him in the chaser box and normally just block. If a cisgender man’s profile says he’s “into Trans and femboys” or something similar, I normally just block. If a guy says he’s into “smooth” — which means hairless — I normally block, because I’m hairy as fuck, and he’s only assuming I wouldn’t be because I’m transgender.

A lot of people aren’t being intentionally weird or unkind when they have this shit in their profile, or even when they ask stupid questions — a lot of cis people are just ignorant as fuck, and don’t know shit about trans people.

You will have people who think you’re a trans woman, because they think “transgender” = trans women exclusively.

But some people who are chasers just act weird as Hell — they might feel entitled to touch your body or think about it in a certain way, you might be an “experiment” in a way that feels uncomfortable for you, they might want to ignore certain boundaries (eg, not wanting your chest touched, not wanting your front hole penetrated), etc.

One of the tricks that I use to see if a cis man is gonna be a freak is I just correct him on a bit of language. I personally am pretty indiscriminate about the language I use for my body parts, but I might correct him on a small thing — if he calls it a “clit”, I might say “I prefer cock, actually”; if he says “Pussy”, I might say, “call it a cunt, please”.

If he has a tantrum about it or generally acts like a bellend, that is a sign he’s probably going to be worse about other boundaries I set.

[blood-and-poetry]

Hot take I'm seeing quite a few posts confused over why Deadloch isn't trending or much more popular on tumblr because "tumblr is so gay and so feminist". And I am sorry to say this but tumblr isn't the "lesbian website" or the "feminist website". Tumblr loves men just as much as the rest of society does, its user base just loves them in a very online way which makes it look a bit different at times. It has always been this way, starting with shipping every two white dudes in close proximity to each other, over worshipping old male Hollywood actors to downright MRA and anti-feminist talking points in the recent past in "progressive leftist" spaces on here. All done in very uwu political correct tumblr speak of course.

And it's really that simple. Media with two (often times white) guys standing close to each other will always be more popular on here than anything women- or lesbian centric, no matter how many theoretical tumblr approval boxes said media ticks. There is a reason why lesbian shows get canceled left and right. Even if lesbian shows are trending for one or two days there is just no genuine interest from a majority of people (on tumblr and anywhere else). Men overall are rarely interested if it isn't made with the male gaze in mind or focusses on men, straight women aren't interested, even many bi women (don't come at me I am bi) aren't interested because they don't see other women (and often times themselves) as complete and potentially interesting people/characters (how often I've seen women on here saying something along the lines of "my favourite characters are all men but it's just because these characters are so good! Pure coincidence. I would definitely love a female character but I just have never found one I am that obsessed with. Not my fault, they are all written in a bad/boring way").

Doesn't matter how often the word "queer" is thrown around here, all of this has always been the same and it won't change. Which is.. fine? I have never expected it to be something else. A website that isn't specifically designed for lesbians but only attracts lesbians would be magical. But a website thats designed for nerdy people and especially women of that kind will attract.. nerdy people/women. Consisting of the same groups of people that exist in real life, including lots of women attracted to men. I have my little bubble here in which I mainly see lesbian content but the things on my dashboard rarely reflect what's trending or the content of popular posts.

I am not bitter about this because it has never been different (here or anywhere else) but I am surprised that people are still thinking that this website would worship a lesbian-lead and female-centric show when it would be entirely out of character for tumblr as a whole to do so. I mean maybe this is all about the show being australian. Maybe people don't like Australia. I also get that crime shows aren't THAT popular either but I guarantee you, if Dulcie and Eddie were dudes this show would be trending so hard.

Deadloch is a fantastic show. It looks amazing, has fantastic humor, the drama is great, the plot is great, there is a good message behind everything and the show also sprinkles in some of tumblrs top ten greatest political correct catch phrases. The main two characters are played by lesbians, another actress from the main cast is bisexual. One of the main characters is a lesbian and there are several other lesbian characters in the show. The other main character is a woman of color (who SHOULD be same sex attracted but sadly seemingly is not which makes me cry). Almost all important characters are women. Amazingly written by the way. There are plenty of women of color, indigenous women especially, playing important roles. All female characters are complex and nuanced people and their suffering isn't used for shock value or to push forward the plot. The two main female characters are both over 40 years old! What the show doesn't have is the same two decent looking men standing in close proximity to each other. And there really isn't any arguing against my little rant here because the only thing I accept as proving me wrong is a lot of people watching Deadloch or overall more women centric and lesbian centric stuff :) Thank you :)