#Anyway I think I'm done with the P-more sets for the day I think.

[iero]

It’s rough out there... 

[aniqua]

error: 0v3rr1d3 | yandere!qimir x cyborg!reader

✧content: 18+ mdni, f!reader, smut, angst, death, blood, character death, flashbacks, flashfowards, existentialism?, unreliable narrators and crazy epiphenies, drowning, osha going through the ringer, p in v, cockwarmth, blowing, creme pie, worshipping qimir, second fiddle feelings

✧note: it's been real fun to make qimir a loser, robot fucker.

✧word count: 6.2K

✧series masterlist

“You promised that we would go.” You’d spent the last thirty minutes pressing Qimir to explain the change in plan.

“That was before yesterday's incident,” Qimir sighed as he arranged boxes. The day prior to this exchange, Qimir spent his time in a sticky sweat as he ran through the city for some outside help. With you resting on his back, you were relegated to hearing his terrified breaths that were a result of your condition. It had chosen to be at its worst that day and although you spent the end of the day in a better condition, you didn't miss the way Qimir looked as you clugged onto his arm as he walked you home with a fixed hold on your hand that didn't even budge when you slept with him that night. 

“I'm better now,” you told him. "That was the first time that ever happened anyway," you defended with crossed arms.

“You hoping to go for a second time?” he asked sarcastically.

He was closing up the shop earlier than most days for the festivities that were to be indulged in that night. You looked on without your usual offer to help--not like he'd accept. The entire week ranged from uneventful to horrendous at its worst but the highlight of it for you was supposed to be to celebrate the planet’s two moons aligning like the planet did every year. Despite this, Qimir was giving you a last-minute rejection that you were refusing to stomach this time around.

“I’ll be fine,” you tried appealing to his unquenchable desire to nurture. “And if not, you'll take care of me like you always do. Hm?”

Qimir fought hard to ignore that he loved the way you spoke. It pleaded to the nights he spent thinking of every way he could make you better. He was fighting to keep you a permanent painting in his home and refused to lose to simple battles like hereditary curses.

However, for all the pride he felt in his chest, Qimir set a box down and walked toward you. His hazy eyes gave you a once-over just as he took your tender face in his hands. He said, “I'm not taking that risk.”

Your frown deepened as you pulled your face out of his hands for the comfort of the cold air, “Why don’t you let me do anything?” He could see the way your brows upturned in vulnerability with your wet eyes to match as your pupils went wider. If he could, he would have taken you right then and there for how malleable you looked.

“I don't do it out of enjoyment. But I'll put your health first every time. Even above what I want," he was pretending to play the good guy like he wasn't a shut-in who would have stayed home during the festivities actually long before your time.

“And above me?” you challenged. 

“[Name],” he sighed.

“You’re cursing me to live like this,” you pressed him at his weak spot.

“Cursed?” he laughed bitterly to himself. He brought his hands to his hip as he gave you a stare that reminded you of the initiating stance of a predator. “I’ve done everything to make sure you even live past the next moon alignment--”

“And if I have to live like this then I'd rather be dead,” you spoke with unwavering declaration. Months of quietly obliging with the occasional treat to keep you at bay only made your desertification more apparent to you.

"Careful," he murmured with a still face that was so unreadable. He backed you into the counter just to further cage you with both of his arms on both sides. You looked up at him as you pressed further into the counter to avoid meeting his chest. The edge of the counter he held onto bent at his grip as you spent most of your time grasping at fleeting courage.

“It's not like you get a say in that either," he told you. If you were so struck by the painful beauty of his face at such an odd time, you would have let out a meager cry in surrender.

After getting his fill, Qimir stepped back from you to retreat upstairs. It was expected that you’d spend the rest of your time downstairs to blow off steam before returning to the living room begrudgingly for dinner. Qimir hadn’t exactly made it to the front door of your home before he remembered that he needed to lower the shutters over the shop for this special weekend in case some got too excited. It was when he returned to the ground floor that he no longer saw you there. You disappeared as if he never met you, to begin with.

He called your name and watched his voice echo in real-time. That's when he knew he was alone. Once his call bounced back he nearly lept over the counter and went sprinting out the door.

By the time he'd burst through the doors and the shop's bell jingled, you already had a head start to the streets as you tried making it to the fairie. Two tickets weighed your bag down as you cut through the roads with as much force as you could among those who were already starting festivities. The way the shops were decorated with ribbons and flags would have been beautiful if you couldn’t hear the growing distant call of your name in the distance.

As you carried on fighting you picked up your pace hoping that a miracle would come through before Qimir would catch up to you but your prayer wasn’t even sent before you felt your strength waning until the wind blew out your candle and had the ground swallow you. You should have known better than to exert so much after being given only a day of recovery but you assumed that your passion would make up for your health. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough because you went collapsing like the first drop of truth in the middle of the street. You could hear Qimir calling your name and the low hum of the crowd in surprise.

A week passed where you didn't speak to Qimir and you thought it would help in the tension brewing but the distance felt treacherous. Every day that passed leading up to the seventh day would be you waking up on the outskirts of the planet in a cabin that once belonged to him but was passed down to his acolyte. The last thing he said to you as he passed you over to Osha before his journey to find a better solution for your illness was he thought it would suit you better to behave. Instead of a private farewell that should have been exchanged kisses, the journey to the cabin was silent. 

Far from it was Osha to question her master but it didn’t help how little in detail she was given before he appeared on her doorstep asking her to watch over you. She was given half of the truth while you were given the whole lie that Osha would sooner drag you back to the cabin before you'd make it past a few trees. 

Before your arrival, she chose to spend her time training until their next operation but instead of a new Jedi to target, Osha was assigned to babysitter while being left entirely in the dark. Still, she trusted Qimir when he said to guard you with her life as he went off.

From your perspective, the specifities of what Osha was told were unclear but you weren’t willing to try to pry when your last act of disobedience landed you concession from meeting the ground and unwanted attention that could have ended with the wrong people asking the right questions. So, in your time of vacationing–you told yourself this to lighten the mood–you didn’t even ask about Qimir until a few days after a week had come and he still hadn’t returned for you. This concerned you so you went running your mouth to Osha since it was all you could do to keep yourself calm and not fear that he had finally abandoned you for an easier problem to fix.

“Have you heard from him?” you asked.

She shook your head. “I can still feel him," she admitted as she ate.

You didn't know each other well but you wanted to press further even if it meant her frustration. “Anything else?” you said. 

“Look, you’ve been asking me the same question for three days. He’ll be fine," she put her spoon down and looked up at you. "You’ve seen how he disappears for weeks just pop back up. It’s no different now."

You fiddled with your thumbs as you said. “So this is normal?” You didn't have the slightest clue as to what she meant.

“What," she laughed in disbelief "Qimir hasn’t fucked off for weeks to you?"

If you had any type of distance from him, you would have laughed with her but you hadn’t so you said the truth.

“No,” you confessed. “He’s never gone more than an afternoon away,” you said. “Which is why I’m so nervous because that last time he came back he didn't look good.”

That admission had Osha questioning how well you truly knew him.

“What took you so long?” Osha asked Qimir as he held onto his bag.

“I’m back now,” was all he was going to say but the look Osha gave him made him feel stupid. “Came across some trouble on the way back so I had to stall. I’d hate for anyone to be following me to lead them to here.”

“So you stole that," she stated the obvious while nodding toward his bag that looked packed with some things that were none of her business. 

"It doesn't matter--"

Osha wasn't in the mood to banter as they stood a few paces from the cabin in the dead of night. "You let three weeks go by for her. It felt like she was gonna start chewing glass if you didn't show up tonight,” she said,

“Nothing, she’s not used to,” he said as he rifled through his bag to straighten a few things out. Maybe that's why he didn't realize that he and Osha were talking about two different things.

“So she’s home a lot huh,” she met him where he was in the conversation. “Doesn’t that bother you?”

“It keeps her safe.”

“From you?”

Qimir swallowed.

“Whatever happened to no romance to keep this exact thing from happening,” she threw the rule back in her master's face while gesturing at his lover fast asleep in the cabin. “You bring danger to your doorstep every time you come back home so there's no point in keeping her there?” If only she knew the other half of the problem to chastise him for that as well.

Osha watched him with judgemental eyes with the complete silence in between them. Leave it to her to be the one to hold a mirror up to Qimir as he would conceive of a flawed plan. She was ready to ask him if it was worth it. Interrogate him about having you put your life in a strange form of witness protection all in the name of a lonely man who couldn't just let a bird go. That was until some was rustling nearby. The kind of twig snap that didn’t come from a small animal but a clumsy vulture. Osha and Qimir both turned their heads to the sound as they already had a grasp on their lightsabers. They waited with held breaths in the quiet night.

Even though both moons illuminated the forest, something felt off with the way the area had gone motionless. Qimir would have left the idea alone if you weren’t inside. 

The hum of a lightsaber that wasn't theirs was the warning shot that set everything into motion. They almost didn't see it coming but were even more surprised to find seven Jedi that had been tailing him since they got the first tip-off of his movement when he'd jumped from another planet with a fortune's worth of medicines and no clear explanation.

When you woke up, at the sound of a cry, you couldn’t chalk up the thud coming from the outside to the result of an interesting passerby.

So you stirred out of your comfort zone and started for the exit of the cabin when you said Osha's name and she didn't respond. She was a late sleeper. 

As you came out of your sleep your fresh ears were finally registering the growing sound of a fight. Your hands carefully pushed the doors of the cabin that led you to a cold night. Although the stars and moon were the only things that were keeping the beyond from looking pitch black, it was still a horrifying sight to look into the abyss and see two red lightsabers spinning in self-defense.

When your eyes landed on Qimir for the first item in three weeks, your thoughts were interrupted as you got tunnel vision. He was fighting for his life in a dance between him and Osha against the Jedi. Yet all you could see was him as you burst through the cabin doors and went running after the only certainty you had even when this was the first time you’d ever seen him use the force.

“Qimir!” You cried. You threw all the arguments that you had with him aside and went racing with nothing but your heart in your hands.

Qimir looked up first as he saw you coming down from the hill. “Go!” he said.

It was rare to see him look so scared and even rarer to be the result of anyone but you so you stuttered in your tracks. Your hesitance was caught who was determined to make sure no one could testify to them breaking their mantra of never attacking first. As he immediately locked eyes with you, you started for the other way hoping to at least lighten the load of attacks on Osha and Qimir even if it was by one person.

You didn’t look back once as you went cutting into the woods like a shot call. Your feeble state lets an onslaught of rushing adrenaline fuel your heart enough for it to pump your system faster. The forest stood by and watched as you kept looking back in fear until you dove behind a fallen tree to catch your breath and adjust from the dizziness in your head. You knew you couldn’t run for long even high off of your need to fight.

It was hard to miss the sound of footsteps as they steadily grew until they felt close enough to be your own shadow. So you fisted a large rock in your hand enough to bleed and threw it as hard as you could in another direction. Just as the beast went chasing after his own tail you began blasting off in the other direction until you broke through a clearing that was the edge of the cliff.

It’s not something your mind registered in the darkness until you heard the sound of unrelenting water. You made the effort to stop but you were seconds too late as the dirt slid just enough to lose your footing and go diving through the air. Crashing into the rushing water felt nothing like liquid and more like solid ice. 

Your land was only cushioned by the rapid water that would have been your savior if it didn’t send you along with the river to hit every rock and broken log on your way downstream. It was siphoning off your adrenaline to leave you to fend for yourself. 

Your hands kept closing and opening as you tried to reach for something to stop the tornado. The tiring fight to find someway to steady yourself ended up with you carrying a belly full of water in a blind panic each time the water hit your face. This repeated as you were repeatedly baptized by waves until the water in your belly was enough to have you sinking to the bottom of the river.

When Qimir washed up on the shore onto the shore, he was choking on everything but the items at the bottom of the river and the dirt embedded into the water. You were right beside him as he shivered from the wind that made the water unbearably cold. However, you didn’t need to shiver to maintain your body heat since there were goosebumps rising from your skin as you layed motionless beside him. It wasn’t like you couldn’t feel the biting chill of that night. It was just that you didn’t have any strength left to go running after heat. 

At least that’s what you thought of it as, until you weren’t looking up at the night sky of the night but rather at the pitch back of your eyelids that were too heavy to open even as you fought for days to try. You existed in a state of in-between where your body was still but your mind was still active at times as it came and went like running water.

So you meandered in this state of being as the world moved on. 

Throughout the swift passage of time you stayed frozen as you could only listen to the voices of anger, guilt, and resentment give you a description of events through a tinted gaze that explained the past and present.

You were there against the shore of the rushing river and heard every cry of anguish as Qimir cut through bones and blood in the heat of his anger. The red screams of the attackers splattered against the bark, foliage, and rocks of their surroundings until all that was left were parts scattered across the woods like chicken feed. Osha looked on entirely stunned as she tried to resuscitate you. She saw in real time how her master had burned every lesson in dignified death he taught her in exchange for a punishment that was tenfold the crime.

For you, when the feeling of the ground was replaced by the cold surface of a healer's bed, you still refused to wake up. You heard the promises and threats he made as he went to every length he could to pull you back to the world of the living until you sank back under and remerged to him bringing you back home place to figure out what deal he had to make to bring you back to life. 

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” his voice was barely louder than the machine that kept track of the rhythm of your pulse. “Osha’s here.” You wanted to tell him to come back and stay with you since you liked the way he fixed your hair and played with your hands when he thought no one was there.

It was hard to tell the exact amount of days that passed without the rare clue you got from the conversations you overheard. You remained in the dark for most things but didn’t miss the inevitable march toward unshakable madness that Qimir experienced in your presumed absence.

You heard the apologies he gave you with promises to fix you until you memorized each promise like a blessed hymn. He found a permanent place in your room to reside until you would come to expect the sound of him rising and finally sleeping.

“Qimir,” Osha’s voice had come through from the upstage. “I think it’s time,” she said. If he said something, you didn’t hear it. “You’ve done your best during all these months but it’s time to consider the best option,” Osha told him.

“The best option is to bring her back,” he was unwavering in the way he spoke even if he sounded weak.

“How?” The silence that followed was loud enough to make it clear that he didn’t have the answer. “We must know when to move forward. Just like you taught me,” she said.

“Then move on.” He was stern. “Don’t let my dedication burden you,” he hissed. “You no longer need to be my acolyte.”

“Your dedication is making you driving you insane,” she punctuated each word as she tried to hide the crack of her voice. “She is practically dead but you’re throwing me aside–”

“Until her heart stops beating she is my responsibility!” It was no mistake how different things felt in your absence but it surprised you how clear he had made his decision. “I suggest you find yourself a new master.”

That’s how you replayed it all in your head. Years after your baptism and months after your crucifixion Qimir had finally married his two ideas into a solution that he was hoping to work. A wise man would never ask him how he did it since it wasn’t through his own hands but after mounting a few bodies and twisting a few arms, every failed part of you was replaced by pieces from the android parts he had collected. A task that blurred all ethics that only Qimir was willing to cross. All he waited for was the day you’d wake up. He let weeks pass by hoping that he’d find you sprung forth and lively. 

You were still partially droid which he didn’t understand so through the period of holding his breath and getting lost in the bottom of his bottle, you were coming through every single memory you had, especially of him, and processing them for analysis in the part of your brain that was connected to your past processor. You returned to every instance as human and every close encounter as android.

You had been given time to reflect on the incoming memories as they passed through you. And when you had come to believe was how ungrateful you were. To not see the unwavering love of Qimir even after he had been abandoned to build your future from scraps until you were nearly resurrected. It all would have gone well if you had not gone running to see what you had forgotten. Now that you had seen it, it was entirely understandable Qimir's aversion to it. You had crossed the river and drowned over and over again as your memories played on a loop like a punishment from purgatory. It wasn’t under your control as your system tried to learn and relearn how to escape death until it came to the conclusion that the best possible outcome would be to not only accept the love you were given but to understand it and reciprocate it in its totality.

“Osha! Osha!” Qimir called from her as he was being held back by the Jedi that were swarming his hideout in Kashyyyk.

His mistake was reaching out to Osha after so much time of silence thinking she’d help him get to the bottom of what was wrong with you this time. Desperate people find faith in the strangest places and he was no exception as he thought she, even with hesitance, would help him find out why he’d done everything right but you refused to power on like all those other times. 

Osha ignored his shouts as she looked up at you erected perfectly still enough to build a coffin around you. It felt wrong at first to appeal to the Jedi to apprehend and make an example of her old master but as months went on and she slowly ventured back to the light, a sickness wouldn’t leave as she felt that Qimir was likely still home jumping from healer to architect as he tried to bring you back like a lunatic. 

She hadn’t seen him in a year but it felt more like a decade as she saw how long his hair had gotten when he was seized. The smile he gave her when he thought they were all alone wasn’t devoid of years of stress but it had a slight familiarity to it that almost made her go back on the plan. If Qimir wasn’t so busy with everything that had to do with you, he probably would have picked up on the presence of others closing in on him from the shadows of the trees.

The once enthusiastic acolyte wasn’t there to see the multiple iterations of you as an android so she would never be a true believer in the miracle. Conceivably, she wouldn’t have led the Jedi to Qimir’s home if she knew. Yet, she didn’t and she likely never would. All Qimir had given her to work with when she returned was scattered and disassembled android parts with you decorated in new parts that only had their backstories told by roomers. To her, this was inhumane.

“How could you?” she turned and said to him as he violently thrashed against the restraints the Jedi gave him.

“Osha, don’t!” he could already see that she was preparing to reach for the panel that controlled your station to shut it off. There was some apparent hesitancy as his hands danced around the button that would lead to the computer to begin to power off and terminate all systems including itself.

“No! N-no! STOP!”

The cries of your lover were tormenting to even the creator of the anguish. The pain in his voice was so concentrated that it could not be ignored by any of those who were there to witness it. It was exactly the call to heaven that woke you up out of your processing and had you open your eyes for the first time since you had glitched so poorly that he took your battery away. In wide-eyed disbelief, Osha froze as she saw your eyes start to open and take in your surroundings. 

To you, she didn’t look much older but instead younger from her naivete of what she had brought herself into. You saw him make an effort to step back. From across the room, the two Jedi who held onto Qimir and the three who guarded the two were just as confused as to what they were witnessing. It wasn’t like machines hadn’t been brought together with flesh before but to see someone rise from what appeared to be death would give pause to anyone. Qimr above everyone else looked like he was staring into the many eyes of an angel for the first time in his life.

The atmosphere in the cave went motionless as you took your first step down from your chamber as a cyborg for the first time. By then, you had already come to a conclusion. With the wisdom of your humanity and the calculation of your machinery, you had decided everyone was a threat to your new goal. Your feet took another step forward to Osha so she said your name in disbelief. 

Before she had pushed out the last part to it, you took her blaster and put a hole through the heads of two Jedi without much effort from your self-defense protocol.

Your attacks sent everyone scrambling as you were already holding Osha at gunpoint by the time they realized that you were just as much of a threat as they thought Qimir was.

“Please,” you spoke only to Osha “tell them to leave and I will spare their lives and yours.” The cold, metal barrel made a circle indicating the target that was her temple. You didn’t have the heart to kill her but you wanted her to believe that you would. 

As much as Osha was already regretting not just returning to the shadows and never agreeing to work for the Jedi, this case was out of her hands the moment she went running to authority to get some sort of retribution on your behalf.

It didn’t matter though because the unexpected face-off between the remaining Jedi and a hostage gave Qimir the perfect window to steal a lightsaber and begin fighting against three opponents like he once taught Osha to do.

He twisted and landed a kick that slammed into a tree. While that one recovered, he held his own against two lightsabers. All the while, Osha was forced to watch the series of events that would lead her to run back into exile.

It was uncomfortably quick work he made out of the fight. With ease, he reminded his former acolyte about what she missed so much about being under his guidance. When the last body dropped you finally let go of Osha. 

“Osha,” Your still expression even raised suspicion in Qimir because of how ambiguous it was as you looked at her. “You are a dear friend.” You stepped forward. “But we should never cross paths again in your lifetime,” you said as you carefully placed her blaster in her shake hands. 

That’s when you turned Qimir. His pupils were blown as he watched you come closer until you took his hand. He was certain that he was dead until you brought his hand to your face and closed your eyes to feel him. 

The image before Osha was an unfair reward for her unwavering dedication up until that point. She’d put everything into venturing to the dark side and was betrayed by a heart that had found someone to beat for. She would have never guessed that her master was heaven-struck all those years ago but there was nothing she could have done about it even if she was given a vehicle to travel through time. Sure she had a new master but the realization that things were different still hurt the same.

The apologetic look that Qimir and you gave just as you reunited diluted her blood as she had to sit in the choice she made. There was nothing more or less to say as you left her surrounded by dead Jedi as the both of you disappeared like the origins of a folktale. 

She let out a scream at some point.

You looked out at the windows of the ship that Qimir managed to secure in the aftermath of your flying your planet. The wealthy smuggler who owed him a favor was the type to live on the ship she gifted. It was your new home now as you searched for another part of the galaxy to hide in until you were ready.

You walked into the control room with the tips of your hair wet from the humidity of the shower. The pitter-patter of your footsteps approached the ship pilot into the control area. He felt your hands slowly slide from his back to his shoulders. You wrapped your arms around his neck until you were resting on his neck while looking out at pools of stars and asteroids. This is how it was in a soothing simplicity.

When he turned around and placed you onto his lap, your upgrades readjusted when your heart picked up. You looked at him with the same wildness that was directly reflected the kind in his.

“Qimir,” you said as you played with his hair.

“Hm?” he was tolling picking between looking at your lashes curtaining your eyes or watching your lips say his name.

“I want,” you paused to get a good look at the face you missed seeing for too long.

He leaned forward in raw anticipation. It caused you to shift as you stayed in place on his lap. You don’t think he noticed how ardent his focus was. “What,” he swallowed. “What do you want?”

As you thought of how you should word your request, his patience dissipated as he chose to kiss feverishly you and pull you closer by your waist. His soft lips were in stark contrast to how roughly he took your lips.

“Let me,” you tried to speak between the moments he would catch his breath to kiss you further. “Be,” you said into his lips, “your acolyte.” 

He stopped to watch on in surprise as you played with the hem of his shirt like you hadn’t thrown him across the universe and back. As you were taking off his shirt he was still dazzled by your request.

Like an admirer of a painting, you placed your cold hands on his hot chest to commit the feeling of his skin to memory. Qimir heard his heart pop in his ears. Your hand continued to travel until you were able to find yourself in his pants “Please,” you implored as your hand pulled out his cock and your lips pouted in a plea.

It was unmistakable to you that he was heavens away from where you were as you spoke to him but you still continued to slip out of his lap to sit in between his legs as he remained seated. The way you looked up at him as you took your time to stroke his member made him moan not only for desire but from the sheer ecstasy of your presence. You opened your mouth and found a place at the tip of his cock. 

Your head gingerly traveled further down as you felt every vein until as much of him was in you. Qimir felt you suck as you pulled back and it was divine torture. With each bob of your head, you fondled his balls in one hand and stroked the rest of his member that you couldn’t take.

He threw his hand back as his hands seized the armrest of the seat. Each time your tongue circles the slit of his tip, a groan slipped out. His precome was dripping as he gradually got hard enough for it to feel painful. The noises you made as you blew him filled the control room all the while the leather of the armrest tore the cushion contents spilled out. You pulled back for a moment a brought a trail of saliva from his blooming tip to your pink tongue. Nevertheless, he thirstily eagerly guided your return to the back of your head to pick up speed from where you left off. 

His words were incoherent as you saw his legs shaking. It was evident that he was reaching his end when his locked eyes burst open as he was begging for air. He let out a heavy load into your mouth as you gaggled.

Ever the impatient man, Qimir was already bending you over in front of the window just as you were catching your breath. The robe you had secured around yourself after a shower already dropped to the floor as he lined himself up to your pussy and pushed himself into you with such consecrated desperation.

He crashed onto your back as he wrapped his arm around your waist to prove you weren't nothing but an apparition. For each time he pulled out and pushed back in, he stayed spilling sweet words into your hair. He was trying to take his time to savor the way your walls held onto him so tightly but it was nearly unthinkable by the seventh kiss. 

You felt him slapping in and out of you as your pitiful babbling could on grew in volume. Your processor was working to keep your pulse viable. The sounds of your ass beating against his wet balls were disorienting as you secured your hands onto his hold around your core for support.

“Teach--" You couldn't focus as your breasts bounced along with the rhythm. “Teach me.” Qimir could hear the hunger in your voice. You started pushing back harder so the tip of his member could faithfully bruise your cervix. 

Qimir lifted one of your legs and held it in place on the panel to angle himself better. The sound of you continuously saying “please” for so many reasons pushed him to drill you stronger as come trickled down your legs before he had even climaxed for the second time.

“Why?” he asked as he held your face up by holding onto your throat. It wasn’t a challenge but rather a question as to why you wished to go running into this one risk.

You couldn’t answer him as your knees were becoming wobbly from the stimulation until he had to hold you up himself to keep you satisfied.

“Come on,” he encouraged. “Stay with me a little longer.” He said as he kept pounding into you. You could feel the warmth running from your hot head journey down your body and striking every foreign part of you with lightning. You poured over him as you mewled. Your ending came like a waterfall as your juices further lubricated his thrusts to keep him chasing euphoria. By then you were completely spent, calibrating, and just holding onto him to relish the sounds of his gasps.

Once he came inside of you and let his sticky shot leak out through the in-between of the skin of his cock and your folds, you turned around to see him. In the fervor of the aftermath, you pulled into him, with your bare breasts against his chest.

“Give me a chance,” was all you told him with your head against his chest. You wanted to collapse no matter how well-adjusted you were as he kept cockwarming but he held onto you and wiped your sweaty face.

“You don’t need that.” Qimir had a slight blush on his face as he was catching his breath along with you. He intertwined your hand with his and was spiraling up to the cosmos. “I’ve already given it to you. Let me show you the power of two destined souls,” he said.

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[armysantiny]

A doctor’s worry – Zayne

P: Zayne x gender neutral reader | G: fluff, drabble | Inc: mc overworking themselves (as usual), Zayne worrying over mc, Yvonne being a good friend, Zayne's sweet tooth, some indulgent fluff for the soul, calling Zayne 'Doctor Li' bc that's how the title works infold, obv don't take my desc of hospital life too seriously lmao | Wc: 718 | W: mc has an injury but no graphic desc. | R: G

Min's notes: When I tell you I was just writing this all day at work lmao. I just love the way Zayne loves </3

"Hey, Zayne? Do we have the MRI results from last night's case?" Greyson's asking him, both doctors on their way to their respective offices after catching each other in the car park.

"We should do, I'll forward it on to you once I'm inside."

The hospital's busy today, everyone's schedule packed with either meetings, patient appointments, surgeries, or some unholy combination of all three. And for once, Zayne couldn't be more thankful that his schedule is much the same, the gruelling but rewarding hours of his double shift awaiting him.. Sat in his chair while he types out a letter of recommendation for a patient just gone to see a physiotherapist, Zayne sips on the glass of water on his desk, too occupied to do much else other than his job.

At least today, being busy out of his mind helps. It helps him not stress over y/n taking a mission in the No Hunt Zone. The hunter, for all their skill and natural talent, has a mind numbingly stubborn habit of overworking themselves to the point of injury and beyond. Which is why Zayne is trying to bury his concern underneath an avalanche of work, because y/n is working on a sprained ankle.

The doctor even managed to spot the beginning signs of swelling that morning before they left, but y/n was already out the door by the time he opened his mouth.

See you tonight love, they had said, don't push yourself too hard.

How cruel, to remind him to not push himself all the while leaving the vines of worry to bloom around his heart. But he loves y/n anyway, so they're not to blame when Zayne finds that he's no longer frustrated by the waiting, just longing for his hunter to return home so he can fuss over them until the vines relent until the next time they decide to put themselves at risk.

So lost in replying to emails, Zayne nearly doesn't hear the knock at the door, looking up from his screen moments before the knocking becomes more urgent.

"Come in."

"Doctor Li?" It's Yvonne, and Zayne's frigid politeness melts away a tad into something a bit more friendly. "You didn't show up for lunch... so I thought I'd take the liberty of bringing something up from the cafeteria. I recall y/n mentioning your affinity for sweet things?"

It's then, as he's taking the boxed lunch with a gentle thank you, that Zayne notices the separate box of two macarons that Yvonne's handing him. They're from his favourite café. Of course they are. Of course, his love would dutifully tell his colleagues what to do should he be too absorbed in his work. Astra above, he loves them.

When Yvonne leaves, clearly satisfied that the cardiovascular specialist isn't going to go hungry, Zayne allows himself to smile, his own heart fond and aching all the same.

"I'll save one for you."

In between his responsibilities and workload, the doctor hardly realises when the sun begins to set, painting the sky all kinds of pinks and oranges before, inevitably, the sky is dark. Moonlight shines through the gaps in his closed blinds, illuminating his desk in its cool light for a handful of minutes until Zayne is forced to get up and turn the lights on, fluorescent white irritating his eyes for a second. If y/n was here, they'd tell him to squint first, let his eyes adjust until he's comfortable. He can't help but think about them now, most of his tasks done for the day and his mind free enough to think about his lover, how much he misses them, would rather they stay in his arms, stay off their injury and rest...

His phone rings.

"Hello." His expression is soft.

"Zayne! Sorry for going no contact love," y/n says, clearly satisfied with their day. They're forgiven, as always. "I'm on my way back to the office, I'll see you in the hour?"

"Sure. I'll come and pick you up, you shouldn't be putting anymore strain on your ankle."

He can practically hear the amused rolling-of-eyes from y/n.

"Yes doctor~ see you soon! Love you!"

"Love you too, y/n." He hangs up the phone and takes a good look at his office. He can afford to leave a little early tonight.

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[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 17- No Ifs, Ands, or Butts

Summary: You and Javi are continuing to make progress on building your new house, until a few distractions are thrown your way that you definitely weren't expecting.

Word Count: 12.3K (how bad is it that I'm like, wow! What an average length for a chapter! Well done, me!)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), HELLO, STRAP IN EVERYONE. unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), romantic? ANAL (you guys, I'm sweating), vaginal fingering, anal fingering, oral (f receiving), rimjob (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink, insecurity but Javi being our consent KING and literally taking such good care of you (but would we expect anything less?!), Javi with dogs (hehehehe), everyone say thank you to our favorite village idiots Carter and Miller for helping out Javi and Osita (you'll see!!)

A/N: If there are two words to sum up the plot of this chapter, it is butts and dogs (if you watch Bluey, yes, the puppy is named after Muffin LMAO) 💀 I am so sorry this chapter took FOREVER, 1) Life has been crazy busy (parent teacher conferences sucked the life out of me for like a full week), and 2) I would be lying if I said I was not shakin' in my boots to post this bc I have never written legit butt stuff smut (say that 3 times fast) before and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, so if you don't wanna read this chapter/skip the smut I will not be offended at all!! Also for my non-American friends, Home Depot is like a giant hardware store (that also sells hot dogs that absolutely slap) Okay, that's all, love y'all more than words, forehead kisses for all of you!! 😙 also please laugh at the name of this chapter I thought it was funny as hell, I'm crackin myself up

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“Okay, we have paint samples, countertop samples, carpet samples, sheets of drywall, toilets that are ordered can come get picked up on Tuesday, and we can let Danny know they finally have those screws he’s been looking for back in stock. That’s everything, right? Please say that’s everything.” You sighed, going over your home project to-do list for what felt like the 47th time before exiting out of Home Depot for what also felt like the 147th time this week. 

What had started as a plot of land and and a head full of ideas was slowly but surely becoming reality as progress on your new home came to fruition- as winter faded into spring, your house began to grow and change with the seasons, bare bones wooden beams and dirt of a few months ago now becoming walls, floors and roofs of the new place you’d spend forever in. While it was exciting to move into the stages of actually deciding what the inside of your home should look like (not just shape and size), it felt like you and Javi had been making a million and one decisions every day related to something to do with the house, and unfortunately, this Sunday night was no exception. 

“No, I think that’s everything.” Javi nodded, scanning over the wrinkled piece of paper in his hands once more. 

“We might as well just start changing our permanent address to this Home Depot. I’m pretty sure the employees are convinced we live here at this point.” You laughed, resting one hand on your hip, the other full of the sample swatches you and Javi needed to look at when you got home. “You sure that’s everything? Honestly, even if it’s not, let’s face it, we’ll be here some point later this week anyways. At least now it’s getting to the fun stuff- Paint and floors is a lot more fun than plumbing and electrical.” 

“I know. We’re almost there, Osita. Danny said 8 to 10 more weeks last time I talked to him.” 

“Over/under on how many more trips we make to Home Depot between now and then. I’m gonna say 56.” 

“You’re such a dork. I fucking hope it’s not 56.”

The two of you made your way out to the parking lot with hands full of goods, the sun slowly beginning to set behind the other buildings of the shopping center- a Chinese restaurant, a laundry mat, a building that had been under construction since your frequent trips to Home Depot began, and a pet store. 

You and Javi had tried the Chinese restaurant once, a few bites in simultaneously agreeing it was 100% the worst food you had ever had, never needed to go to the laundry mat, and god knows what the mystery building was getting turned into. You had, however, always wanted to go into the pet store, knowing it would be fun to walk around and look at the animals since it was something you loved doing as a kid with your brothers. But by the time the two of you were done with your hardware shopping, your brain was too fried to ever ask Javi if he wanted to go in and check things out as an entertaining thing to do. Tonight probably would have been no exception to the rule, but that was before you noticed the big sign posted in front of the store reading “Dog Adoption Event Today!” 

You and Javi had both agreed you had wanted to get a dog- that was something the two of you had easily agreed upon early on in your relationship- but like most things nowadays, you were waiting until the house was finished and you were out of the apartment before looking into getting one. You knew that going to look at dogs before the two of you could really do anything about it was a bad idea, but the longer you stared at that sign, the less and less willpower you began to have to keep yourself from running over there. 

“Jav.” You nudged, the two of you almost to Javi’s truck before stopping in your tracks, gesturing over to the pet store. Javi paused next to you, taking a moment to read the bright bold letters of the sign, letting out a deep sigh as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Baby, you know we can’t get a dog right now. Believe me, I want one too, but we gotta wait until the house is done first.” 

“I know. Can we just go look? Please?” While your puppy dog eyes were no match compared to Javi’s, you pouted your lip just about as far as it could go, batting your lashes at him with a pitiful frown on your face. You had no idea how Javi was ever going to be able to say no to your kids if he was already immediately caving from your silly, overexaggerated begging, let alone his own sweet brown eyes staring back at tiny versions of him. Regardless, right now, Javi’s lack of iron will was working in your favor, letting out another small sigh, contemplating for a moment before nodding his head in agreement. 

“Fine. But just looking, okay?” He muttered, almost as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you. 

“Yes! Thank you! I promise, just looking… Probably.” You grinned, changing directions and speed walking across the parking lot towards the pet shop. Javi laughed to himself, shaking his head as he followed behind you. 

“I heard that.” 

As you walked through the front doors of the pet store, you were greeted with the sounds of high pitched barks and yaps, joining the few people gathered by the pen set up to contain the litter of what looked to be a mix of cattle dogs and something shorter and stumpier, the brown and cream speckled puppies bouncing and playing with the toys, blankets, and other littermates in the cage with them. You audibly let out a gasp as you looked down at the pure adorableness of the sweet little balls of fluff below you, squatting down next to the pen to get a better look at the group of puppies. 

“Oh my god, they’re so cute. Javi, they’re so freaking cute. Hi lil babies, aren’t you the most precious things ever?” You cooed, holding the back of your hand up to the cage for the playful puppies to sniff, their tiny bodies toppling over each other to smell you. 

As much as Javi wanted to be tough and strong willed to try and prove a point, you were right- these puppies were the cutest things he’d seen in a long time. Crouching down next to you, he glanced over, giving you the I told you this was a bad idea look that you knew you were bound to get from him the moment you saw the puppies. 

“They are really fucking cute.” Javi sighed in reluctant agreement, bringing his hand down by yours to try and pet some of the puppies through the cage. 

“Oh hi there! I see you two found the puppies!” An employee, an older woman with curly gray hair, smiled down at the two of you, gesturing towards the pen full of tiny, yapping pups. “Are you interested in adopting one?” You and Javi looked up at her, each of you letting out a deep breath before speaking at the same time, your answers lacking unison. 

“No.” 

“Maybe.” You quietly whispered under Javi’s no, letting out a little shrug, eyes darting away towards Javi to spare yourself from the eye roll you knew he was giving you from your response. “No, we’re not…” You finally agreed, giving another pouty, sad look to Javi. “We really want one, but we’re in an apartment right now and are moving into a house soon. We’re waiting until then to get one. Although these guys are making it very hard to keep it that way.” 

“I can understand that.” The woman laughed, a playful grin spread across her face, clearly sensing your willpower about the situation was much weaker than Javi’s. “Well, even if you’re not interested in adopting one right now, you’re more than welcome to pick them up or play with them! It’s good for them to practice being handled anyways.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Immediately, you stood up, bending over the edge of the pen to pick up one of the puppies closest to you, cuddling it against your chest as it squirmed and wiggled in your grasp. You sat bag down on the floor, cross legged as you cradled the puppy, eyes almost as wide and sweet as the dog you were now holding. “What’s this one’s name?” You asked the woman, carefully setting it down between your legs to let it bounce around. 

“That one is Muffin. He’s a feisty one, but a sweetheart.” She beamed, slowly bending down to pick up one of the stuffed toys in the cage, handing it over to Javi. Before you knew it, Muffin was scooting out of your lap and bolting over to Javi and the plush rabbit he was holding in his hands, making the both of you giggle at his goofy, floppy gallop. Javi held out the toy in front of him, a smile spreading across his face as Muffin bit down into the rabbit, shaking it in his mouth, tugging back at Javi’s grip on the stuffed animal. Any shred of stubbornness Javi was trying to hold out on was long gone, smiling and snickering just as wide as you as Muffin hopped into Javi’s lap, curling up with his toy in his mouth. 

Javi was like a little kid, practically giggling as he grabbed the stuffed rabbit and tossed it along the floor, watching Muffin slip and slide across the linoleum before pouncing on the toy and trotting back to Javi with it in his mouth. 

“Good boy! You’re smart, aren’t you?” Javi grinned, tugging at the toy before looking back at you and your look, screaming, So much for just looking, huh? without having to say a word. “He is really cute.” Javi admitted, trying his best to keep his composure from completely crumbling. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, giving each other the look that made you seriously contemplate if you were going home with a puppy today, until you looked back down at Muffin, now hunched over Javi’s foot, pee dribbling down his shoe. 

“Oh shit!” You grimaced, reaching up to pick up Muffin mid-stream, scooting him over to finish peeing on the floor instead of on Javi. 

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!” The woman gasped, grabbing some towels next to the cage, handing them off to Javi for him to wipe the pee off his shoe. “That is the thing with puppies, the potty training does take a while.” 

You were trying your best not to burst out into laughter as you picked Muffin back up, putting him back in the pen with the rest of his brothers and sisters, giving Javi and apologetic shrug at his current circumstances, knowing it was not helping your in any way shape or form to bring a puppy back to your apartment. “No it’s all good, no worries.” Javi smiled, wiping off his shoe with the towel and giving it a quick shake with a reluctant sigh, grounding him back in reality. 

“Can’t be any worse than stepping in a pile of cow poop.” You teased as Javi looked down in disappointment at his shoe, finally beginning to shake his head and laugh along with you. “Alright, you win, Mr. Reasonable. Muffin has made a very good case for no puppies at the apartment.” 

“Eventually baby, I promise.” Javi smirked, giving you a little nudge, the two of you waving goodbye to the cuteness corralled in the kennel behind you, finally making your way back to the car after your detour. 

Well… So much for that plan.  

“What about this one?” 

“Baby, I don’t know, at this point, they all just look like the same color.” You sighed, slumping your hand in your face, resting your elbow on the kitchen table where you and Javi sat, paint swatches spread across the wooden surface, among scattered samples of carpet, countertops and backsplash tiles. “I don’t think my brain can make any more house decisions tonight.”  

“Me either.” Javi huffed, reaching across the table to organize the paint sample cards into a pile next to the stack of other house things that now seemed to have a permanent home with you during dinner time. “I had no fucking idea there were so many goddamn shades of beige.” 

“It definitely doesn’t help that we’re trying to just pick through different shades of brown instead of fun colors.” You laughed, gathering the samples in front of you and stacking them in Javi’s pile as he stood up, pushing in his chair and making his way to the other side of the table where you sat, coming behind you to drape his arms over your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss into your hair as you leaned your head back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his to pull him closer. 

“Fun colors? What, you wanna paint the house purple, Hermosa?” Javi smiled, giving you a little shake in your chair making you giggle. 

“No, you dork. I was actually thinking more hot pink or neon green.” You retorted, giving Javi a nudge back tiling your head up towards him. “No, I don’t know, I know we want something neutral through the house but like, it’ll be fun to pick cute paint colors when we have kids and stuff.” 

Javi squeezed you a little tighter, his heart warming at the thought of when they’d get to do this again when there were actually kids in the picture to fill the empty rooms of their house. No matter how many times you and Javi talked about it, he was sure he’d never get over the fact that you wanted to have a family with him. It was a dream that had come and gone for him all those years ago, resigning himself to a life of simply surviving, even after he had returned home to Laredo. But now, the fact that dream was in reach, and undoubtedly in the near future had him beaming, knowing there was no one else in the world he wanted to spend the rest of his life and build a family with beside you, and that for some reason he still couldn’t quite comprehend, you felt the same way. 

While you had agreed that you would wait until you were married and your house was completely finished before you started trying and your birth control made its permanent home in the trash, with every day that he got closer to marrying you, finalizing your house and starting the newest chapter of your lives together, Javi couldn’t help but feel a want, no, a need, to start a family with you- to fulfill a purpose he so desperately craved to be a father. 

“Well…” Javi grinned, leaning back down to kiss your neck, his pecks becoming much more tender and slow with each press of his lips, “you could let me put a baby in you right now, and we could pick out fun paint colors along with the borning brown ones. Got a lot of rooms we need to fill and paint, Osita.”

“Javier Peña! You are a menace! You have to stop with the baby talk, or I swear, you’re about to make me cave in and crumble. You are testing every ounce of willpower I have.” You sighed, shaking your head as you looked up, entranced by Javi’s sweet brown  eyes and their powerful effects. 

While you and Javi both had undeniable cases of baby fever ever since you had gotten engaged, there was something about knowing you were about to have your own house with 4 extra rooms, solely built for the purpose of being filled with your kids that drove you, and even worse, Javi, absolutely crazy. In the past few weeks, the house had taken shape enough to finally have rooms that actually looked like rooms, Javi making it a point every time the two of you went over to check on progress, to point out just how good the spare bedrooms looked, like he was the most proud of those 4 extra rooms more than any other space in the house.   

The irrational part of you would have given him a baby yesterday, but the rational part of you knew you wanted to be married and have every last inch of that house finished before you brought a baby there. But every time Javi saw those bedrooms, looking at you with that big, goofy grin on his face for his children that didn’t even exist yet, oh god, did it make you want to say fuck it to every ounce of rationality you had left. 

“I think you have baby fever worse than I do, Jav. And that’s saying something.” You teased, reaching up to scrunch his cheeks. With another little giggle and content sigh, you pushed yourself up out of your chair, coming around the back of it to get the slightest running start to jump on him, full koala style, wrapping your arms and legs around his broad back, making the two of you burst out in laughter as he spun you around while you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, covering him with little kisses. “I love you so much. You’re gonna be such a good dad, you know that?” 

“I love you too, Osita. I hope I am. I want to be.” Javi sighed, a hopeful half smile pursed between his lips, causing you to cup both your hands around his face, forcing him to look at you. 

“You will be. I promise.” Tilting your head in, you pressed a soft, tender kiss onto his lips, lingering just a little longer than normal for your added reassurance. “Alright, I gotta get down now though, we have dishes we have to put away, and I have to shower tonight since I have a staff meeting tomorrow morning before school and I don’t wanna have to get up earlier than I need to.” 

“Un beso más (One more kiss).” Javi smiled, gripping a little tighter on your thighs wrapped around his legs, refusing to let go until you fulfilled his request. 

“Solamente un beso más? Por qué no dos? Tres? (Only one more? Why not 2? 3?)” You giggled, one of your hands running through the thick curls of his hair, while the other traced soft circles along his jawline. 

“Me gustaría darte todos los besos, Osita. Te daría cualquier cosa. (I’d give you all the kisses, Osita. I’d give you anything.)” Leaning in, your mouths met again in a soft and sweet moment, a kiss that felt like he meant it- He would give you the world if you asked for it, and then some. 

“God, I could kiss you forever. Alright, Romeo, put me down, we got things to do, and if you don’t, I know for a fact none of those things are getting done.” 

“Fine.” He sighed overdramatically, letting your legs fall to the floor as he released his grasp. “I’ll clean up dinner and you can go take a shower.” 

“I can help with cleaning up, Jav. You made dinner, the least I can do is-” 

“Go get your ass in the shower. I’ll clean it up.” He smiled, planting a kiss on the top of your head before gesturing towards the bathroom, making you cross your arms over your chest with an unseriously stern look on your face. 

“Are you trying to tell me that I smell? Rude. Sure you’re not the one who needs to shower after your foot got covered in piss?” You raised an eyebrow at him, trying your best not to laugh. 

“Go shower, you dork.” Javi chuckled, giving your ass a playful slap as you parted ways, sticking your tongue out at him as you disappeared down the hallway and into the bathroom.

After a long, and even hotter shower than usual (considering you didn’t have to account for Javi’s temperature complaints), you wrapped yourself up in your towel and headed back to your room, where you found Javi laying in bed, reading one of the books you had been teasing him about for the past few weeks as it sat on his nightstand, unopened, even though he insisted he really was going to read it soon. As if the fact that him finally opening up and reading the book wasn’t enough to taunt him about, the way his face scrunched as he squinted at the pages certainly was. 

“You doin’ alright over there, Grandpa? Jav, you just have to give in and get glasses, you know you can’t see anything, stop trying to fight it.” You giggled, your appearance in the bedroom catching Javi’s attention, making him rest his open book over his stomach. 

“I don’t need glasses. I can see just fine. I’d look stupid in them, anyways.” He grumbled, refusing to admit that you were right even though he knew just as well as you that his eyesight was definitely not what it once was. He let out another sigh, dogearring the page of his book and setting it on his nightstand, his grumpy demeanor quickly shifting as you gave him that playful smirk you always did when you wanted to rub something in to prove your point. You let out another laugh as Javi rolled his eyes at you, shifting himself on the bed to lay on his side, face resting in his palm with those sweet puppy dog eyes that never left your sight any time he watched you get ready, even if all it meant was putting on one of his oversized shirts and sleep shorts to go to sleep in. 

“Yeah, okay.” You replied, your voice oozing with sarcasm. “And you wouldn’t look stupid in glasses, you look hot in anything, and I’m sure you would look extra hot with 20/20 vision.” 

“Pendejo…” 

“You love me.” 

The two of you laughed as you shuffled through the drawers of your dresser, pulling out one of Javi’s t shirts to wear to bed along with a pair of underwear and cotton shorts, piling the clothes next to you as you unwrapped your towel drying yourself off once more before letting it drop to the floor so you could change. You could see Javi’s reflection staring back at you, more specifically, your ass in the mirror, an awestruck and lustful look growing in his eyes as you reached over to pick up your shirt. 

“I can literally feel your eyes burning a hole through my ass, Jav.” You sassed, smirking back at him through the mirror as you watched him bite down on his lip. 

“Fuck, I love your ass so much, you know that?” Javi rasped, his tongue gently darting between his lips, eyes still locked on your behind. 

“Yes, Javi, you are very adamant about letting me know how much you love it.” You snickered, slipping his shirt over your head, followed pair your pair of underwear, opting to completely forgo your shorts to play into his comment. You crawled up into bed next to him, nudging him over so his back laid on the mattress and you laid on top of him, pressing a soft, slow kiss against his lips as his hands roamed down your back, sneaking under the hem of your shirt to knead the soft flesh of your ass, letting out a low groan as your mouths met. 

“Because it’s fucking perfect.” He hummed, gripping his fingertips even deeper into your skin after sliding them under the thin, cotton fabric covering it. 

“Wow, someone’s in a mood about my butt tonight. Didn’t know your giant t-shirt and my plain ass underwear was really doin’ it for ya.” You joked, a little grin spread across your face as you ran your hands through Javi’s hair before sliding them down his face to cup his jaw. It didn’t take long for you to realize that the look on Javi’s face had quickly turned from one of lust to deep thought, his brow scrunched and nostrils flared, making you tilt your head in confusion. “What’s wrong?” You asked, immediately noticing the shift in his demeanor. “You only get that look when you’re really thinking hard about something, or you have to fart and you’re trying to hold it in, and I’m really hoping it’s not the second one.” 

Your comment was enough to snap him out of his own thoughts, making him shake his head as the two of you laughed, Javi still holding back slightly as his eyes shifted down towards the mattress, practically hearing the gears in his brain turning, when all of a sudden, it clicked with you. 

Oh shit. 

The combination of his stare down and silence told you everything you needed to know. 

You tilted his chin back up towards your face, a curious smirk stretched between your lips as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You wanna fuck my ass, don’t you?” 

Your voice was sweet and sultry, immediately making Javi’s face go blank in shock that you had connected the dots before he had even said anything. You could hear your heart pounding in your chest almost as loudly as Javi’s, a nervous swarm of butterflies filling your stomach as you waited for him to respond. 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it before. There had been plenty of times that Javi had put a thumb or fingers in your ass when he fucked you from behind, and holy shit, did it feel good whenever he did it. You’d honestly debated bringing it up before, but there was a part of you that could never bring yourself to do it because you never had, and you couldn’t help but feel nervous about it. 

It wasn’t that you didn't trust Javi- You’d trust him with your whole life without a second thought. There had never been a time since the moment you first had sex that your comfort wasn’t always his first priority. But with how full Javi felt inside you with just a thumb or a finger, couldn’t help but make you feel a little worried with how big he’d feel with his whole dick inside your ass. 

You also couldn’t help but feel a preemptive guilt if it ended up being too much and you had to ask him to stop, not that he would ever make you feel bad about it, but still, you couldn’t help but play out worse case scenarios in your head. But something about that look in his face as he stared you down in the mirror and head turning deep in thought was enough to spark that little flame of confidence you had brewing and beat him to the punch. 

“Hermosa…” He paused, the Adam's apple of his throat bobbing as he gulped, taking an anxious deep breath. “Baby, I-” 

“Do you?” 

The tightened grip of his fingers in your ass, gentle nod of his head and the low groan releasing from his chest was all you needed to know to figure out the answer to your question without even needing Javi to say a single word. His free hand mirrored yours, cupping your cheek as the two of you locked hungry gazes with each other, Javi now finally working up enough confidence to respond. 

“I want to so fucking bad.” Javi rasped, his dark brown eyes filled with a mix of desperation and need for reassurance. “But if you don’t want to, I don’t ever want to make you do something you’re not comfortable with. I promise, I won’t be upset about it at all.” The confident facade you had been fronting quickly began to crumble, your body flooding with a combination of nerves and excitement. 

“I do, I just- I- I’ve never done it before.” You weren’t sure how your voice had gotten so small and meek- maybe it was the reality of what you were about to do setting in at a rapid pace. Something about the sweet, soft innocence of your voice already had Javi hard as a rock, using every ounce of willpower to keep his composure, considering how even just the thought of even getting to put his dick in your ass already had him on edge. 

“That’s okay. Like I said, it’s only if you want to, baby. We can take it slow and if it’s too much, I’ll stop, no questions asked.” 

You could feel your head beginning to gently nod in agreement as Javi’s thumb rubbed soft circles on your jaw, a little smirk forming between your cheeks while your heart raced at a million miles per hour, almost feeling as worked up and nervous as the very first time the two of you had sex all that time ago. 

“I want to.” You whispered, letting your lips meet his in a tender and ferocious passion, muted moans escaping from each of your parted mouths. 

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to say yes just because I want to.” And fuck, could you feel how badly he wanted to, his fully hard dick straining against the fabric of his sweatpants, heavy against your thigh. You were no better despite your nerves, the cotton fabric of your underwear absolutely drenched already without Javi even touching you. 

“I’m sure. I promise.” 

A low groan rumbled deep in Javi’s chest as your mouths met again, Javi flipping you over so your back was flat against the mattress, letting his hands roam along your body while his lips traveled down your neck and collarbone. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, sweet girl. Gonna take my time with you, okay? I promise I’ll make sure you’re ready.” 

“Well I appreciate you just not going straight to shoving your dick into my ass, very gentlemanly of you.” You joked, trying to calm your nerves with your sarcastic wit, Javi practically snorting at your comment. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Javi whispered to himself through his laughter, resting his head on your chest as he looked up at you in amusement. 

“Sorry, I’ll stop and let you get back to business.” Javi lay frozen, still staring up at you with his head cocked to the side, eyebrows raised. 

“Osita, you know I love you very much, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“And that since we’ve been together, I’ve learned a lot of things about you? 

“Also yes.” 

“So you know I can tell when you’re nervous about something, right?” 

You let out a defeated sigh, crossing your arms in stubborn defiance, not wanting to admit that you knew Javi’s suspicions were correct. You waited a moment, and with a little frown pursed between your lips, you finally gave in. 

“...Yeah.” 

Javi rolled over next to you, draping one arm over your waist, the other holding his chin in his hand with his elbow propped up against the mattress, his tender gaze locking with yours, filling you with a sense of calm and reassurance you were convinced nothing else in the world could. “Osita, talk to me baby. What are you nervous about?” 

You flapped your arms up before planting them over your face, burying your head in your hands in embarrassment, your words muffled from underneath your palms. “What am I nervous about? Not to stroke your ego any more than it needs to be, but you have a huge dick, Jav. I’m also guessing this isn’t your first time, and it is for me, and you being the first giant dick to ever enter my ass has me a little nervous.” You rambled, your thoughts spilling out of your mouth faster than your brain could process them. “I really want to, I just don’t want it to not be good for you or for you to be upset if we stop or- I don’t know. I don’t want you to be mad about it if I’m the reason for- I- I’m probably overthinking it, I’m sorry.” You let out another deep exhale, averting your gaze from Javi’s staring down at the bed. 

This time, it was Javi’s turn to connect the dots, taking a moment to wonder why you were so worried about making him upset before putting the pieces together, his prediction making him clench his jaw in frustration. “Paul wanted to do it and you said no and he was a fucking asshole to you about it, wasn’t he?” 

Your head instantly shot up, swiveling around towards Javi’s agitated grimace, your face almost as shocked as Javi’s was when you had asked him if he had wanted to do this in the first place. “How… Javi, how did you-” 

“That motherfucker… he didn’t hurt you did he? I swear to God if he did, I’ll fucking fly up to Chicago right now and I’ll-” 

“Jav, Jav, cool your jets, killer.” You laughed softly, pressing your hand to his cheek to try and ground him before he really was on the next flight to Illinois. “No, he never did anything. He said that he wanted to and it kinda came out of the blue- I didn’t really want to at the time, especially not with him. He kept asking and asking and I would tell him no and he got so mad about it. Turns out that was around the time he started cheating on me anyways, and became an even bigger dickhead than he already was. But I always felt so guilty, and that it was my fault he was upset because I didn’t want to. I don’t know- I- I guess maybe this has stuck with me way more than it probably should have.” You could feel your voice shrinking, your eyes darting away once again, mortified by the fact that you completely ruined the moment by bringing up your shitty ex and his blatant lack of respect. “Sorry, I don’t know why we’re talking about this I-“ 

Before you could finish the rest of your sentence, Javi’s lips were on yours, swallowing the rest of your words as your mouths met with a passionate intensity, letting his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you in closer, caging his chest against yours. “Hermosa, you know I would never be mad at you about something like that, right? I love you, Osita, you have nothing to apologize for. All I ever want is to make you feel good, baby. Fuck, that gets me off more than anything else. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.” 

“I trust you, Javi.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, lips grazing over his, giving him a gentle nod of reassurance. “I want you to.” 

You could audibly hear the gulp Javi had let out, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he let out a low groan, tightening the grip he had around your waist. “Want me to what, sweet girl? I wanna hear you say it, baby.” His lips began to travel down your jawline towards your neck, hot and wet presses languidly making their way to your collarbone as he tugged at the end of your shirt, snaking his hands up the soft skin of your stomach. You could feel the heat building in your core, letting out a soft moan as his hands palmed at your breasts, rolling your pebbled nipples between the tips of his fingers. 

“I want you to fuck my ass, Javi.” 

With that, his hands were shuffling your shirt over your head, tossing it over the side of the bed before letting his kisses make their way down your newly exposed skin, letting his tongue flick along each nipple before letting his gaze lock with yours, a small smirk spreading across his face. “I promise I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, Hermosa. Gonna take good care of you, baby, I swear.” 

“I know.” You nodded, staring back at the hunger pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, practically squirming in the sheets of your bed from the throbbing between your legs, feeling the slick almost dripping down your thighs from just how turned on you were. The grin on Javi’s face had become devilish, biting down on his bottom lip as he snaked his hand down your front, tugging at the waistband of your panties, sliding them down your legs before running a finger through your slit, already drenching him with your arousal. 

“Turn around, baby. Hands and knees, okay?” You could hear the subtle smugness in his tone, giving you a playful squeeze as he grabbed your hips, flipping you over face down on the mattress, making you squeal. You did Javi one better, laying your chest flat against the sheets, lifting your ass up in the air and giving it a little shake, Javi’s hands instantly kneading at the soft flesh in front of him, digging his fingertips deeper into your skin, feeling his hot breath hovering over your cunt. 

Suddenly, you felt a long, wide strip of his tongue through your folds, pressing hard and intensely along your clit before diving in like a man starved, lapping you up as he began to eat you out from behind. Each stroke of his tongue was more persistent than the last, the grip of his hands on your hips pulling your heat closer to his face as he licked and sucked at your throbbing bundle of nerves, the mix of your slick and his saliva coating your inner thighs. His feverish pace already had you fisting at the bedsheets, whimpering and moaning as his mouth worked along your dripping core, making you gasp even further when you felt his tongue begin to travel up towards your tight ring of muscle. 

“Oh holy fuck- Javi, oh my god, baby. Fuck me, oh shit.” You whimpered as Javi’s tongue swirled along your puckered hole, dancing around the edges before dipping inside, the sensation making you shudder in pleasure, feeling Javi’s low hum of approval deep in the back of his throat. If that wasn’t enough, one of the hands that had a tight grip on your ass was now collecting the slick dripping from your entrance, his fingers tracing through your folds before pressing firmly on your clit, the added stimulation immediately making the tingle begin to build at the base of your spine. As he worked at your hole, the pads of his fingers circling your sensitive bundle of nerves you could feel your breath becoming ragged, letting out a few more shaky exhales before your orgasm crashed through you, crying out into the soft fabric of the sheets, pleasure and euphoria flooding your body. 

As you came down from your high, Javi let his hands slide gently up and down your sides, pressing soft kisses along your back until he had made his way up your shoulder blades and neck, whispering tenderly into your ear. “Such a good girl for me, Osita. Came so hard letting me eat out that pretty little ass of yours. You want me to keep going?” 

“Fuck yes, oh my god Javi, please.” You whimpered, shaking your head frantically as you looked back at Javi, already sitting back on his knees to lift his shirt over his head before sitting up to kick off his sweatpants and boxers, letting his cock spring free, precum glistening and weeping from his tip, considering how painfully hard he had been since even the thought of getting to fuck your ass. 

You could feel his body hovering over yours, hands sliding up and down your sides before grabbing at your ass again, placing tender kisses on each cheek before leaning over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, pulling out the bottle of lube and setting it next to him. His hands roamed to your core once again, two fingers dipping into your cunt, curling to hit the soft, spongy spot inside you that already had you moaning again. 

It wasn’t long until his fingers were substituted for his cock, running his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal along his length before slowly pushing inside your pussy, already so wet and worked up, that even with sweet sting of his stretch, he still slid in with ease, setting a steady, even pace as one hand dug into your hip, the other reaching over to grab the bottle of lube, popping open the cap with a click and letting the cool liquid drip over your tight hole, making you gasp. You could feel the pads of his fingers pressing at the entrance to your ass, gently teasing you open with one finger, breeching up to his knuckle, the combination of both his finger and cock inside you making you whimper in pleasure. 

“That’s it. Such a good girl. Fuck, you’re already so fucking tight around my finger. You want another one in there, baby?” Javi mewled, prodding his finger deeper into your hole as he continued to thrust into you, his strokes slow and steady, but still punching deep into your g-spot with each thrust of his hips against the back of your thighs. 

“Yes- oh fuck- yes, oh my god.” You weren’t really quite sure how your brain was still even managing to form words at this point, the warm feeling that had been growing inside you spreading to every inch of your body. The pad of Javi’s second finger teased at your tight hole, collecting ample amounts of you slick and lube before pushing in to join the first, the thickness of both of his fingers making you clench even tighter around his cock and digits as you cried out in delight. 

“Shhhhhh, I know, sweet girl. Relájate (relax) baby, I’ve got you.”  

You could already feel your second orgasm starting to build again, heat beginning to bloom in your belly from the rhythmic pounding of Javi’s dick punching against your g-spot and his fingers prodding at the nerve endings of your ring of muscle, already feeling so full from the stretch of both holes. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck- oh fuck- Javi, I’m gonna cum again, fuckahhhhhhh-” You cried out, letting your second orgasm hit you even harder than your first, clenching down around Javi’s cock and fingers as you grabbed at handfuls of your bedsheets, trying to ground yourself as the intensity of your pleasure ripped through you. 

“There you go, Hermosa. That’s it, baby. Such a good girl. Did so good for me.” He cooed, gently pulling out both his cock and fingers, the emptiness making you shutter as Javi pressed tender, soft kisses down your back before making his way up your neck and nipping at your ear. “You think you’re ready for me, Osita? If not, it’s okay, I only wanna do what you want, mi amor (my love).” 

You took another few ragged breaths to compose yourself, unsure how your brain was even managing to function at this point as you came down from your high, trembling in delight. You nodded before you could speak, Javi letting out a low groan as he sucked at your pulse point, his words hot and heavy against your skin. 

“Need to hear you say it, pretty girl. Tell me what you want and it’s yours.” 

“Fuck my ass, Javi. I want you to fuck my ass, please baby.” You whined, whimpering your words against the soft fabric of your sheets, desperate for more, needing to feel all of him inside you in a way you hadn’t before. 

Javi let out an audible groan as he pulled back, letting his hands roam up your body and back to the lube resting on the bed, once again, popping open the cap and squirting some of the liquid into his palm as he fisted his dick, stroking himself a few times before lining himself up with your tight hole. “You promise you’ll tell me if you want me to stop?” 

You shook your head rapidly, fingers already gripping into the pillow in front of you as you braced yourself for Javi to enter, feeling his tip press against your tight ring of muscle. Suddenly, you could feel the sensation of Javi breeching your entrance, making you gasp at just how full you already felt as he had barely made his way inside you. Javi pushed further in, leaving you practically breathless from the stinging stretch of his cock filling you as he paused halfway, leaning over to check on you. 

“Oh fuck me- You okay, sweet girl?” 

“Mhhmmmmmm. Fuck Javi, you feel so big. Holy shit, baby. Oh fuck.” You gulped, squeezing around Javi’s length as he inched deeper and deeper inside of you, your clit and cunt throbbing as he filled you, the newfound sensation making you see stars. You were so focused on how you were feeling, you had barely noticed how tightly Javis fingertips were gripping into the soft flesh of your ass, like he was bracing himself for dear life as he sunk further and further into your tight hole. 

While Javi had found himself in this position with other women a handful of times before, he had never come close to feeling the same way about anyone the way he did about you- He had been dreaming about the day that you agreed to let him fuck your ass, and now finding himself inside you, knowing he would be the first and the last to ever have you like he was right now, had him on the brink of busting any second if he wasn’t careful. Javi had never been more thankful that you couldn’t see his face, because he knew he looked absolutely wrecked and was struggling to keep the ounce of composure he had left as you gripped around his cock like a vice. 

“Javi, oh shit- Javi, you can move baby.” You moaned, adjusting to his fullness, the initial pain quickly transforming to burning hot pleasure as you gave Javi the green light to keep going. After a few seconds, when Javi had said nothing and hadn’t moved at all, you spoke again, thinking maybe he hadn’t heard you. “Javi, I’m good, you can-” 

“I know, I know, fuck- sorry, baby. Jesus Christ- you’re so fucking tight, Hermosa, fuck me. Give me a second or I’m gonna fuckin’ bust right now.” Javi replied, halfway between a whimper and a moan as he firmly grasped your hips, carefully setting a slow pace as he began to thrust in and out of your ring of muscle, shocked to feel how quickly heat was beginning to bloom in your belly once again, his length languidly sliding in and out of your asshole, filling you and striking new nerve endings you had never felt before making you quickly begin to come undone. 

Your legs began to tremble, grasping at the mattress to brace yourself as you felt your clit throb and cunt clench as the coil in your belly tightened further and further, the lewd noises of your moans and grunts filling the room. 

“Javi, fuckfuckfuck, oh my god, baby I’m so close again, holy fuck.” You cried out, as even just the slightest pick up of Javi’s pace had you reeling closer and closer to the edge of your release. Javi freed one of his hands, snaking it between your legs to rub at your sensitive bundle of nerves, already swollen and pulsing from your first two orgasms, and now even more responsive as the pads of his fingers circled against it. 

Javi wanted desperately to hold out for you and make you cum as many times as you wanted to just like this, but he knew damn well the moment you came and clamped down even harder around his cock than you already were, he was a fucking goner and going right along with you. He needed to give you one more before he also came embarrassingly fast, but he couldn’t help it. 

“Fuck Osita, fuck- I’m not gonna last much longer either, baby. Need you- oh shit- need you to give me one more, pretty girl. Cum for me, Hermosa, I’ve got you.” 

With only a few more strokes and circles around your clit, you were cumming so hard, you were honestly convinced you had blacked out. Your whole body shook as you wailed in delight, squeezing around Javi’s dick so hard it was only seconds before he was following suit, letting a ragged groan escape through his gritted teeth as you milked him of every last drop, Javi bracing himself for dear life with the grasp he had around your hips as he finished. 

Javi slumped over you, the two of you breathing so heavily it sounded more like you had just finished a triathlon more than anything else. He let out a deep hiss as he pulled out, taking a moment to admire his work as he watched his spend drip out your tight hole as your body collapsed onto the mattress. 

You weren’t sure how long you had been laying there before you were finally able to wrangle the brain power to speak again, and even then, the only words that you were able to manage were a quiet “holy fucking shit…” 

Javi flopped down, laying on his back next to you as you rolled over, both of your faces bright and blissed as you stared at one another, almost unsure of what to say. 

“Are you okay?” Javi asked, gently cupping your flushed cheek in his palm. 

“Am I okay? Javi… Holy fuck. I don’t think I have ever cum so hard in my entire life. I honestly thought I blacked out there for a second. Baby… That was, fuck, that was insane.” You half laughed to yourself, shaking your head in disbelief. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fucking great. Holy shit. Sorry I couldn’t last longer, I didn’t think I was gonna go that fast but you felt so fucking good. Thank you, Osita.” 

“Thank you? For what?” You giggled, giving Javi a playful poke on the chest as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“For this. For trusting me.” 

“Javier Jesús Peña…” You smirked, propping yourself up on your arm to get a better look at him, “I trust you with my life. More than anyone I’ve ever met. I should be the one thanking you for so graciously taking my butt virginity. Wouldn’t want anyone else in there besides you.” 

The two of you burst into laughter, Javi practically letting out a snort as he rolled his eyes at your ridiculous comment. “God, you’re fucking ridiculous. I love you, Osita.” 

“I love you too, Javi. C’mon, let's go shower before your cum sits in my asshole any longer and I get pregnant with your butt baby.” You snickered as you rolled off the bed, making your way to the bathroom. 

“Jesus fucking Christ… Butt baby? Seriously?” He snorted, following behind you, giving you a playful smack on your ass, scooping you up to hike you over his shoulder and fireman carry you to the shower, making you squeal. “You’re so fucking weird.” 

“Weirdo you love enough to put your dick in my ass and make your wife, so that’s on you, Jav.” You giggled as Javi set you down on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, giving him a little shrug before reaching into the shower to turn on the water. 

“And what a fucking lucky man I am.” 

Ever since starting his job at the Laredo Sheriff's Department, Javi had been able to count on a few things every morning when he got into work. Sheryl at the front desk would greet him with a half hearted “Good morning, Javier” , the smell of shitty work coffee would be brewing in the break room, and Agent Carter and Miller already arguing about something stupid at their desks instead of working on anything that actually needed to get done. That’s why when Javi made his way into work on Monday morning and was not greeted by any of those things, he knew his day was getting thrown for a loop- he just wasn’t quite sure how yet. 

“It was their idea, not mine, believe me.” Sheryl grumbled, rolling her eyes as she nodded towards the path to Javi’s office, holding her hands up in defense as if to prove she had nothing to do with whatever was going on beyond her desk. Javi paused, tilting his head and scrunching his brow in confusion at Sheryl before letting out a sigh, and hesitantly making his way back to find out what in the world she was talking about. 

He was surprised by the lack of Miller and Carter’s presence in their desk chairs, and the unusual silence filling the office as Javi turned his head, wondering where everyone was. He peered over the cubicles, looking for any sign of life, until a strange sound caught his attention from behind the door of his office. 

Woof, woof, woof! 

Javi shook his head, convinced he must be hearing things until the low bark repeated, followed by a hush of anxious voices whispering around the corner. 

“Oh no, shhhhhh! Shit, I didn’t think he was gonna bark.” 

“Well it’s a fucking dog, Carter, what the hell did you think it was gonna, do, meow?”

“Maybe he didn’t hear it.” 

“I highly doubt that, dumbass. God, he’s gonna be fucking pissed.” 

“Your idea, not mine.” 

Even though he couldn’t see them, Miller and Carter’s worried whispers were enough to let Javi know he wasn’t imagining the barking coming from behind his office door. Letting out a deep sigh, which sounded a lot more like a groan, Javi carefully twisted open the doorknob to his workspace, only to be greeted by a large, shaggy and very dirty Golden Retriever staring back at him with big brown eyes, happily wagging its tail and shaking excitedly at Javi’s presence. Although Javi had heard the bark from behind his door, it didn’t stop him from doing a double take from the dog now residing in his office, running his hand over his face in a confused frustration as to how and why Miller and Carter had already managed to make his Monday morning a pain in his ass. 

“Why the fuck is there a dog in my office?” Javi half shouted, making Carter and Miller sheepishly appear from around the corner with guilty looks on their faces, avoiding eye contact with Javi as he glared through the two of them, wondering how the hell they were going to try and talk themselves out of this one. 

“Hey Peña, uh, I uh… Listen Miller was the one who brought him in, and he was so cute that I wasn’t not gonna do anything about it and-” 

“Oh, way to throw me under the fucking bus, Carter!” Agent Miller huffed, cutting Carter off in attempts to let the blame completely fall on him. “You agreed we should keep him here so that we could-” 

“Okay, that still doesn’t explain why the fuck there’s a dog in my office.” Javi groaned, cutting off Carter and Miller before they found themselves in a pointless arguing match about how and why there was now a dog happily leaning itself against Javi’s leg, his tail shaking back and forth, completely enamored by Javi. 

It was taking everything in Javi not to reach down and pet him to try and prove a point to Carter and Miller that they had astronomically fucked up the rest of his plans for the morning, but the dog was sure as hell adorable and sweet as could be. 

“Okay, well, I was driving into work this morning, and as I was making my way down that back road past the cattle ranch a few blocks down from here, this guy ran out in the road. Thank God I saw him when I did. I stopped, got out, and he came right up to me, but there was obviously no one with him. He looked relieved that he’d found me. Poor guy is dirty and skinny as hell. He hopped right into my car and ate the rest of my McGriddle which I was kinda pissed about, but I can’t blame ‘em.” Miller sighed, now crouching down to give the dog some scratches on the head before continuing on with his story. “So I went to some of the houses on the street and no one had ever seen this dog before. I called Webb County Animal Control to see if anyone had reported  a missing dog that looked like him, but no one had. I asked if I should take him to the shelter to see if anyone would come for him, but the lady on the phone said if no one’s reported him missing, they probably wouldn’t come for them.” 

“Well tell him what else, Miller.” Carter encouraged, trying to aid in Miller’s defense as he rose back up, standing next to his partner. 

“When I called the animal shelter to ask them what to do, the woman I talked to said the shelter is so full, that if we brought him in and no one claimed him within the next two weeks, that they’d…” Miller trailed off, him and Carter both grimacing, unable to finish the rest of his sentence as he looked down at the gleeful, furry face staring back up at him. “Well, let’s just say that things weren’t gonna look so good for him. I couldn’t bring myself to drop him off, and I wasn’t just gonna fucking leave him, so, I uh- I brought him here.” 

Javi let out a deep sigh, burying his hands in his face for a moment before rubbing his temples, understanding why Miller had done what he did, but nonetheless, still frustrated that now he had become wrapped up in solving a missing dog case. 

“So what? Are you gonna keep him?” Javi questioned, finally giving in to bend down and give the dog a few pats on his side, feeling just how skinny and boney he was as his hand met his belly. 

“Oh no, I can’t keep him. Apartment doesn’t allow dogs. I would if I could.” Miller admitted, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, feeling guilty for his lack of helpful response. 

“What about you? You keeping the dog?” Javi asked, looking over at Carter, giving him a little shrug, hoping he was the solution to his temporary canine problem. 

“Um, no. Sorry. I’m allergic. He’s cute as hell but my eyes have been itching ever since he got here.” 

“So what, he’s just gonna live here? C’mon you guys, really?” Javi grumbled, now crouching down next to the dog, getting a better look at his begging eyes and goofy grin under his panting tongue, giving Javi a few licks on the face in excitement as his tail began to wag rapidly from Javi’s closeness. 

Javi couldn’t help but let out a little laugh as the dog lapped against his face, wrapping his hands around the dog’s head and giving it a playful rub to get the dog to stop before staring back at the sweet, sad eyes staring back at him. He scratched under the dog’s chin before it was snuggling up next to him, comfortably plopping himself down over Javi’s feet and letting out a content little grumble as his tail continued to thump against the floor in joy. 

Javi closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. A deep sigh. Not because he didn’t like this dog. Hell, not even because he was really that mad at the two office idiots for bringing the dog here this morning. Javi let out a long, exasperated sigh, because he could feel the willpower he had preached to you about holding out on a dog until the new house- a conversation he had just had with you last night- was absolutely crumbling. 

He couldn’t come home with a dog, right? He had just spent all of last night convincing you that the apartment wouldn’t be a good place for a dog. But… that was for a puppy. This was a full grown dog. A calm one, at that. A fucking cute one at that. God, it had been 5 minutes and this dog was already attached at the hip to him, and it was probably fair to say that Javi had gotten just as attached, if not more. Carter and Miller were right, with the shape the dog was in, it really did look like no one had been taking care of him, or had any plans to come and find him, and Javi couldn’t bear the thought of sending the dog off to the shelter, knowing his inevitable fate. 

Fuck.

“Okay, well, do you know anything else about him? Are you sure that there’s no one looking for him?” Javi grunted as he pushed himself back up to stand, trying to keep his cool as he looked over at Carter and Miller, their eyes still peeled to the ground in hopes the lack of direct eye contact would lessen their chances of a complete reaming from Javi. 

“No, boss. Only other thing we could find about him was the little tag on his collar, which wasn’t helpful at all, because it only had his name.” Carter shrugged, peeking up at Javi, surprised by the even keel of his tone. Javi bent back down, the dog immediately rolling over on his back and exposing his belly for Javi to pet as he reached towards the dog’s neck, gently tugging at the tethered collar under his tangled fur to read the poorly engraved tag attached, letting out an even bigger sigh and shaking his head in disbelief at the name. 

Bear. 

Of fucking course. As if the universe needed to send him another sign. Of fucking course the dog’s name was the same as his nickname for you, Osita- little bear. 

Javi couldn’t help but laugh to himself, running his hand over his face once again. “Shit. You sure no one’s looking for him?” 

Both Carter and Miller shook their heads, crossing their arms over their chests in sad disappointment at Bear, laying sprawled across Javi’s feet. Letting out one last reluctant exhale, Javi looked back at the pair, nervously awaiting his response before he spoke. 

“If… If no one calls looking for him by the end of the day… I’ll take him home with me.” 

Carter and Miller’s faces lit up in shock and delight, staring at Javi, dumbfounded by what they had just heard. “I mean… Fuck, well… that was way easier than I thought it was gonna be.” Miller half grumbled to himself, glancing over at Carter, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“I obviously don’t have any dog shit at home so I’m gonna have to leave early today to get some, so you two idiots are gonna have to finish up the rest of the paperwork I needed to do this afternoon, we clear?” 

“Yeah, yup- Absolutely. Will do.” The two nodded in agreement, still in shock that the worst they had gotten from their boss from dropping a stray dog off in his office was the rest of his paperwork for the day. 

“Fuck me. Alright, c’mon Bear.” Javi sighed, pushing open his office door, Bear, happily trotting along behind him, tail wagging in delight as Carter and Miller stared back at each other, frozen in shock that they, with very little convincing, had gotten their boss to happily take their furry problem into his own hands. 

If the fact that Bear wasn’t cute as can be was enough to win over Javi, he was also the sweetest, most relaxed dog he’d had ever met. Bear was perfectly content to lay down next to Javi’s desk, letting out content grumbles and sighs as he slept and Javi worked, sprawled out across the floor. Bear also seemed to love everyone he met, joyfully making his rounds around the station with Javi after a failed attempt at leaving him behind in his office, immediately caving to Bear’s sad, lonely whines and big brown eyes from behind the glass of his office window. Around 2:00 PM, after Javi had given Bear the better half of his turkey sandwich for lunch, he found himself just as hungry as that poor dog probably was this morning, deciding to cut his day short to get himself some food, and gather whatever else he needed before bringing Bear back to the apartment. 

Javi thanked whatever higher power that the woman working at the pet store this afternoon was not the same woman he had adamantly convinced last night that he was not coming with a dog, because in the back seat of his truck, sat a dog he was now bringing home. The woman working at the store had helped Javi to find everything he needed for Bear and probably then some, Javi more than thankful for her patience and advice, feeling overwhelmed by what to get for a dog that had landed in his care only a few short hours ago.  

After 2 trips up your apartment stairs to drop off the bed, food, treats and toys Javi had gotten, he made one final trip back for Bear, who had glady hopped out of the truck and followed Javi back to your place after a quick pee on the bush in the parking lot, leaving Javi very thankful the dog had found a spot to relieve himself that wasn’t on his shoe. 

“Well, welcome home, I guess.” Javi chuckled as Bear busted through the apartment door, tail wagging at a propeller like speed as he meandered through the space, sniffing and exploring around the kitchen and living room, before wandering back to the bags from the pet store Javi had set on the ground, giving them a little prod with his snout before sitting next to them, looking up at Javi as if to ask if he could have the food and treats that were inside. “Well… I guess a little more food couldn’t hurt, right?” 

There were very few times where Javi was home from work before you, and when he did, he normally told you before he left, or called you at work to let you know- so when you pulled into the parking lot to see Javi’s truck next to your empty parking space, it was safe to say you were a bit perplexed. You quickly unpacked your bags from your car, making your way up to the apartment, trying to rationalize with your confusion and nerves as to why Javi had beaten you home. As you unlocked your door, you gently pushed it open, now even more confused by the muffled grunts and swearing coming from down the hallway. Dropping your things at the entryway, you quickly began working your way through the apartment to figure out what was going on before you almost tripped and fell over a large dog bed now in the middle of your living room. 

“What the hell…” You murmured to yourself, your brow scrunching in bewilderment as you caught your step over the soft, plushy surface, doing a double take to realize that what had almost taken you to the ground was a dog bed. Looking over, you then noticed the several bags from the local pet store, now even more puzzled as your attention shifted back to the end of the hallway, hearing Javi’s voice as well as the sound of running water and frantic splashing. 

“Goddamnit, will you just stay still please? We’re almost done, bud.” 

Almost sprinting to the bathroom, you pushed open the door to find a pile of towels spread across the floor, Javi kneeling over the side of the tub, shirt absolutely soaked as he held the shower handle towards a goofy, wet, golden retriever dancing around in the other end of the tub as he saw you. 

“Uhhhhhh, Javi… Why is there a dog in our bathtub?” You stood stunned in the doorway, your presence startling Javi as he spun around, dropping the shower handle, making it spray over the walls, leading the dog to playfully bark and shake as it hopped over the ledge of the tub to greet you. 

“No, Bear! Come back here! Fuck. I uh- I can explain, I-” Javi stammered, scrambling to grab the flailing shower head before reaching for the dog to try and wrangle him back into the shower, the rest of his thought cut off by Bear taking one more step towards you before bracing himself for a giant shake, absolutely drenching you as you burst into laughter, wiping your now soaking face with the palms of your hands before reaching down to pet the cheerful dog, wagging his wet tail as he leaned up against your leg. 

You couldn’t help but let the smuggest grin spread across your face, now putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “Bear, huh? You come up with that one?” You giggled, crouching down to greet who you now were presuming to be the newest resident of your household, rubbing his hands over his drenched, furry body, squealing as he licked all over your face. “I thought we couldn’t have a dog in the apartment, Jav, and I hate to break it to you, this is definitely a dog… very much in our apartment.” 

Javi let out a snort, rolling his eyes at you as he reached over to shut off the water, resting his back against the edge of the tub, propping his arms up over the sides as he braced himself to try and explain his current situation to you. “Well…” he grinned sheepishly as Bear paced back and forth between the two of you, his tail swaying side to side as he dripped puddles across the bathroom floor, “I got into work this morning and the first thing I saw was a fucking dog that Carter and Miller had dropped in my office after Miller found him on his drive in.” 

“Which I am assuming is this dog?” You laughed, gesturing towards the giddy Golden Retriever jaunting around the bathroom. 

“Yeah, this one. Miller said that he found him on a dirt road. Called animal control and no one had been looking for a dog that looked like him, and that when he called the shelter, they were so full, that if someone didn’t either come to get him or adopt him in the next couple weeks, that, well… they probably would have to… Fuck, Cater is allergic and Miller can’t have dogs at his place, and I- he’s so sweet, and I couldn’t just let him go so-” 

“So you bought out the better part of the pet store so he could live here with us?” You grinned, raising an eyebrow at Javi as Bear happily sat himself down in his lap, making Javi grunt at the weight of the dog plopping himself down across his legs. 

“I mean… I uh… I-” Javi mumbled, sheepishly looking down at Bear before looking back at you, doing your best to contain your laughter and giggles. “What, Hermosa?” Javi phrased it as a question, even though he already knew the answer- You were never going to let him live this down for the rest of his life. 

“And you thought you needed to be worried about me bringing a dog home without asking.  Does this mean we have a new member of the Peña family?” You smirked, making your way over to Javi and Bear, squatting down on the soaking bathroom floor next to them, pressing a playful peck onto Javi’s cheek as you gave Bear a big scratch. 

“If that’s okay with you.” 

“You’re lucky he’s cute, and you’re lucky you’re cute, too. Yes, of course it’s okay with me. Welcome to the family, Bear Peña.” 

The two of you smiled at each other as you sat on the bathroom floor, a damp and soggy Bear spread across your laps with the happiest and goofiest grin spread over his face, too. While coming home to find Javi wrestling a stray dog in your tub wasn’t exactly how you pictured welcoming the newest member of your family into your lives, in some strange way, it couldn’t have felt more perfect. Getting to grow and share your life together with Javi was all you could ever really ask for, even if that meant a Monday night, soaking wet from a dog bath gone wrong. 

“Okay, well, we should probably dry this goofball off and get his stuff all situated. Poor guy is probably exhausted after all of his adventures today, aren’t ya bud? Do you think we should put the dog bed in our room? I don’t want him to get scared during the night, but I’m not really sure if we should have him up on our bed, ya know?” 

As you pushed yourself up to stand, you waited for Javi’s response, only to be greeted by double the amount of big, brown puppy dog eyes now staring back at you as you turned around. Javi still said nothing, a guilty look growing across his and the dog’s, as you let out a deep sigh, wondering how in the world you were going to build up your immunity to another sweet face that made you crumble. 

“You already let him on the bed, didn’t you, Jav?” 

“.... Maybe.” 

“Like I said, the two of you are very lucky you’re cute.” 

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse

[sissylittlefeather]

Double fic day...

It Feels So Right (how can it be wrong?): Part 2

A/N: This mini series is SO FUN. Just a reminder this is the one where ghost!Elvis possesses Austin during the filming of Elvis (2022). If you need to get caught up, read Part 1 here. Enjoy this second installment!

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, kissing, cussing, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex

Word count: ~2.5k

Elvis is nervous about how Austin will react when he finds out he used his body to go out with you, but what's done is done. And he has every intention of begging to let it happen again.

******

The next day at work, you deliver your coffees like you always do.

Elvis hasn't found a way to tell Austin what happened. Austin can tell something is going on, but he assumes it's just some weird ghost business and doesn't pry into why Elvis is acting strange.

But when you walk up to Austin, Elvis tries to catch his attention.

"Austin. Man, I-"

"Hey!" He looks at you and then looks around to make sure you're talking to him.

"Hi..."

"I brought you a coffee. You said you like two creams and two sugars, right?" Elvis puts his face in his hand. That's his coffee order. He's not even sure what Austin would want.

"Oh... umm..." You look at him and your smile falls. You thought something special happened last night, but maybe it was just another in a long line of one night stands for him.

"Anyway. Here." You hand him the coffee and then walk back to where you normally stand, waiting for someone else to tell you what to do. You take a deep breath and try to make sure you don't let the tears that are trying to gather fall down your face.

"Goddamnit." Elvis whispers under his breath. Austin turns to him.

"What the hell was that?"

"You really don't remember anything when I'm... in you... do you?"

"No. What did you do?!" Elvis sighs and tries to think of how he can explain what happened between you last night.

"Well..."

"Elvis. They're going to call for me on set soon. Start talking."

"We went out last night."

"We?!"

"Me and her. But she thinks it was you..."

"You just thought you'd borrow me for the evening?"

"Look, I'm sorry, but I really like her and it was... it was really great."

"Elvis, did you have sex with her in my body?" Elvis cringes and looks down at the floor.

"Mayyybeee..."

"Elvis! What the hell?!"

"I'm sorry! You said no and I just really like her..."

"If you'd asked again, I probably would've said yes."

"Wait? Really?"

"Yes. But you didn't ask-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise."

"We had sex?"

"... yes..."

"It was good?"

"Austin, it was incredible. She's amazing-"

"It's my turn."

"What?"

"I'm taking her out tonight. And you stay out. I wanted to ask her out, so I'm going to." Elvis stands there speechless. This is not what he expected. He expected anger or permission to continue. But this is something totally different. He did not expect competition. Austin takes a sip of the coffee you brought him and winces.

"Two creams and two sugars, dude? Have you never heard of a latte?"

Elvis rolls his eyes and Austin turns and walks towards you.

"Hey! I'm sorry I was awkward. Thank you for the coffee. What are you doing tonight?" You look up suddenly, a bright smile on your face.

"Oh, nothing! You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, that'd be awesome. Can I pick you up around 7?"

"Yes!" He leans forward and kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear.

"I'll see you then." He walks out to the set and you blush. You try to focus on what you're supposed to be doing but the only thing in your head is the fact that you might actually be dating Austin Butler.

What you don't see is the smirk Austin shoots to Elvis. As he passes him to get to where he's going, he whispers.

"Game on, man."

******

That night, Austin shows up at your door dressed far more casually than the night before. Also, his hair is messier and he seems more confident.

"Hey, baby. You ready?" You nod. Apparently sleeping with you was an ego boost of some kind, but you're not exactly complaining. He seems to be more at home in himself and the confidence is hot.

For your date, he first takes you to a small restaurant he's found while he's been in town. It's a hole-in-the-wall type of place, but the food is amazing. Next, he takes you for cocktails at a local bar. It's small and intimate, but upscale nonetheless. After that, you find yourself back at his place on his couch.

This date somehow feels completely opposite of the one last night, but it's not bad, it's just different. He's just as sweet and thoughtful as he was the night before. He settles onto the couch next to you and throws his arm around you.

"You wanna watch something?"

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"Anything you want, baby."

What you don't know about this date is that Elvis is there the whole time. He tries to stay quiet, but throughout the evening he finds himself giving tips to Austin about what you like and don't like. The competitive side of him is begging him to shut up, but he also wants to see you taken care of. Austin is doing his best to ignore him, though. He wants to earn your affection in his own right.

"Well. What's your favorite Elvis media?" You ask. Elvis laughs.

"Ha! She's still thinking about me." Austin looks at him and rolls his eyes. He wants to yell at him that she didn't know it was him, but he also doesn't want to appear crazy.

"That feels like work for me, baby. We can watch something if you want, though..."

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I didn't even think of it that way. We can watch whatever you want."

"How about some music?"

"Yes! Even better." He stands up and walks over to a record player and starts flipping through albums.

"Most everything I have is oldies. Is that okay?" You smile. Elvis scoffs. Oldies.

"That's the music I grew up with."

"Alright then. Fleetwood Mac, Three Dog Night, America, or Elton John?"

"Oh, man. That might be the hardest question anyone's ever asked me." Austin looks at you softly. You really are something else. "America. I'm in a mood tonight."

"I love it." Austin smiles. Elvis wishes you'd asked for something a little more his style, but he respects that you like what you like. The greatest hits album plays and Austin sits down next to you on the couch again. He fidgets with your hair on your shoulder absentmindedly. You turn to face him and you feel the energy between you become charged with something. He leans in slowly and presses his lips to yours. His hand cups your cheek and he kisses you again softly. The next time he leans in, it's an open-mouth kiss and his tongue slides into your mouth passionately.

But something is different. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but the way he's kissing you is slightly different from last night. As he kisses down your neck, you decide that maybe you're just remembering wrong. Besides, this is excellent. Why would you complain? He sucks lightly on a spot near your collarbone.

"I don't think she'll like that." Elvis is still standing next to the couch. He's trying not to watch but his curiosity gets the best of him. Austin wants to ask if he plans to stay the whole time, but he can't really do that without freaking you out.

You moan softly as Austin's hands go to your breasts and he lays you down on the couch, situating himself on top of you. He pulls your shirt off quickly and then takes his off and you're shocked that he's moving this quickly. Last night you had to practically force him to touch you and tonight he's already got you half naked. Maybe it's just because this isn't the first time you've been together. His lips are all over your body as he kisses and licks your chest.

Elvis scoffs.

"You're paying too much attention to her top. Move down." Austin is trying so hard not to hear what Elvis is saying, but it's really starting to drive him crazy.

"Give me just a second, baby." Austin stands up and walks over to the record player. As he does, he mouths to Elvis. "GO. AWAY."

"What? It's not like she can see me. Besides, it looks like you need the help." He turns the music up really loud and walks back over to the couch. You look at him a little strangely and he smiles.

"Sorry, I just... wanted it... loud..." Elvis cracks up laughing at Austin trying to cover for his weird behavior. Austin goes back to kissing you and slides your pants down and off. Elvis rolls his eyes and turns his back. He doesn't really want to watch you with another man. Austin looks at you naked on the couch and shakes his head.

"Goddamn, baby, you're gorgeous." You smile. That sounds like him. He settles between your thighs on the couch and lowers his mouth to your clit. Your back arches as he moves his tongue over and around your sensitive bud. He pushes two fingers into you and spreads them, stretching you out as he licks you. That's new, but it feels good, so you don't protest. You feel your orgasm building as he keeps working his mouth on you.

"Oh, God, Austin." You moan.

"She's about to cum. Don't stop." Elvis hollers over the music. He can tell even without looking. Austin has to use every ounce of his acting skills to keep it together and stay focused on you. But Elvis is right. Your hand goes to his hair as you shudder and pulse around his fingers, your orgasm washing over you like a curtain of intense pleasure. He pulls back and wipes his mouth with his hand.

"You want me to fuck you, baby?" That's a slightly shocking difference from last night, but it's still hot, so you nod as he drops his pants and crawls on top of you. Elvis puts his face in his palm. He's wracking his brain for a way to get Austin to stop, but he can't think of anything. Instead, he stands faced away looking up at the ceiling while Austin pushes into you and begins to fuck you steadily.

"Yes! Yes!" You cry out breathlessly and Elvis hollers again.

"She's gonna cum again." Austin is so close to his own orgasm that he finally loses control.

"GODDAMNIT ELVIS DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?!" He pulls out and sits up, looking at Elvis, who turns around slowly.

"You were doing just fine-"

"And yet you couldn't keep your mouth shut!" You look at Austin and over in the corner where he's looking. There's nothing there.

"Austin, what the hell-"

"I can see Elvis! Okay? I see him. He's here."

"You..."

"And sometimes he possesses me and does some of the movie. Last night, he thought he would take me for a joy ride and go out with you. That was him last night. Not me." Elvis looks between you to see how you'll respond to this information.

"Austin, I know you've worked really hard to get into this role..."

"No- I mean I have- but this is not that. I swear he's right over there." He gestures to Elvis in the corner who waves awkwardly, but you can't see him. That's when you realize that you're naked and grab your shirt to cover yourself.

"Tell her I've already seen her naked. She doesn't have to cover up for me." Austin rolls his eyes.

"Elvis says he's already seen you naked."

"Oh. Wait. He's really actually here?"

"Yep."

"And he takes over your body sometimes?"

"He does."

"And that was him last night and not you?!"

"Yes."

"Prove it." Elvis and Austin answer at the same time.

"What?"

"Prove it. What did you call me last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"You called me a specific pet name all night. What was it?"

"I don't know. Honey? I know he says honey a lot."

"Nope. Wrong. Let me talk to him." Austin stands up and pulls his pants back on. Then he looks over at Elvis.

"You heard the lady. Come on." Elvis nods slowly and then jumps. He opens his eyes in Austin's body. He sits down next to you on the couch and reaches his hand out to touch your cheek. He'll never get enough of the way your skin feels.

"Hey, doll." You close your eyes and lean into his touch.

"It really is you."

"It's me. And I called you doll."

"That's why everything has been so different tonight."

"Yes, I've been trying to tell him-"

"Wait. You've been here the whole time. Were you watching us-"

"No! I swear I turned my back. You can ask Austin." You look at him suspiciously.

"Can I talk to Austin?"

"I'll have to jump out and then you won't be able to see or hear me."

"But he will. So he can tell me what you say. If he lies, just come back."

"Alright then. Can I kiss you first?" You nod and he leans in and presses his lips to yours. He kisses you softly a few times and then pulls back. Elvis pulls himself out of Austin and sits on the other side of you on the couch. Austin shakes his head and blinks.

"Do you remember what happens when he's possessing you?"

"I don't."

"That's why you were so weird about the coffee this morning."

"Yes! Also I drink a vanilla latte. Elvis drinks coffee."

"Wow." You sit for a second trying to absorb what just happened.

"So which one does she pick?" Elvis asks Austin tentatively.

"I don't know, man." He turns to you. "He wants to know which one of us you pick."

"Pick?"

"To date." Elvis nods to Austin, who nods back. "We both want to know."

"Why do I have to pick? What if I want you both?"

"You can't even see Elvis!"

"No, but I can when he possesses you. I want you both." You stand up and put your clothes on while the two men sit dumbfounded on the couch. Once you're dressed, you turn and face Austin on the couch. "Where is he?"

"He's here next to me on the couch."

"Alright then." You look where you think he is and then back at Austin. "Figure it out, boys. Make a schedule or something. But I want you both."

You lean down and kiss Austin on the cheek. Then you turn to the other side of the couch and blow a kiss to Elvis.

"I'll see you in the morning. Y'all have fun coming up with a plan for how this will work." You walk to the front door and slip out, closing it behind you.

Elvis and Austin look at each other and bust out laughing. When they stop, Austin sighs and Elvis clicks his tongue. Elvis speaks first.

"Man, she's somethin' else."

"You got that right."

"I guess we better figure it out."

"I guess so..."

******

Until Part 3

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @atleastpleasetelephone @cinnamoroll-things @returntopresley

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 4

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

WARNINGS: mention of food/eating, one swear word, some angst

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: closed

W♡RD C♡UNT: 4,981

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 15

A/N: sorry for disappearing without a word

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©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

“So, how does all this work?” You ask from the couch behind the set of chairs Chan and Changbin are currently sitting in, a third one is empty between the two of them.

“Like producing or all of the buttons?” Chan asks, spinning around in the chair to give you all of his attention.

“You can explain the buttons if you want,” You adjust yourself comfortably on the couch, making sure to find a way to sit so you can take notes without hurting your back later. “But I meant producing.”

The three of you are currently sitting in a recording studio that the company rented for the group to use on their last day in Sydney. One of the inclusions that everyone agreed on is a mini CD-R of each member's solo song from the tour, and one rerecorded song for the group version broken up into a special racha version. The boys wanted to get the recording as quickly as they could before they got too tired from touring, which is why you're up at the earliest time you've needed to be so far.

Chan starts to roll up the sleeve of his black hoodie, thinking for a moment. "Well, when Han gets here--"

"If Han gets here. I guarantee you that he's still asleep right now." Changbin whines, his voice still heavy from sleep.

"I'll send a text to the group chat in a second to have one of the other kids swing by his room before they come over." Chan rubs his eyes as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and sets it on the table behind him. "We can do the first two songs without him right now I guess."

"They're just the solo songs so we can manage." Changbin yawns. You can't tell if he's telling you or reassuring Chan.

"Yeah, you're right. Anyway," He pulls off his cham and fixes his hair before placing it back on. "Someone will be in the recording booth with headphones that play the backing track while everyone else can hear from the speakers in here. Basically, everyone out here is listening to make sure that the recording goes well. That whoever is in the booth is keeping pitch, or pronouncing everything correctly, and so forth. Or if something doesn't sound right, we can fix it right then and there. It's not always in one go though so sometimes we have to take the best bits of each take and splice them together."

"And then you take the mostly recorded track and do whatever tweaking needs to be done in post?" You question as you write down what Chan explained.

"Exactly! Someone's been doing their homework." Chan claps once loudly in excitement, the sudden noise causes Changbin to jump in his seat.

"I've always been a good student." You smirk to yourself as you look through your questions to ask. "I've watched some of your recording sessions on YouTube. You--"

The door swings open, stealing all of your attention. On the other side, Jisung stands holding four coffees in a carrier in one hand and another, larger iced coffee in the other. He's mostly hidden away in a large beanie that falls just above his eyes, a matching black face mask, an oversized hoodie, and baggy grey cargo pants.

"I know I'm late, but I bought an apology gift." He says, holding up the drink carrier.

"More like a bribe." Chan laughs, turning the seat next to around so that Jisung can sit in it.

"Here you go, noona." Jisung hands you one of the iced coffees before taking his seat between Chan and Changbin.

"I can be bought." You joke as you take the drink.

You watch as Jisung settles into his seat, handing both Chan and Changbin their drinks before placing the remaining fifth cup on the table behind them. Chan takes a sip of the coffee and turns back to you. "Noona, you were asking us a question."

"I'll ask it later. You guys have a lot of work ahead of you. I'll be like a fly on the wall from this moment forward."

All three of them nod in agreement. Recoding nine songs in one day isn't impossible but it is a lot of work. The three of them turn around again and discuss something briefly that you can't hear. Unsure of what else to do, you recheck your notes as they talk, trying your best to give them privacy in the too-small room.

"Ah, I'm suddenly nervous to record this song!" Chan laughs nervously while throwing his head back.

"We've all seen you perform it seven times already." Jisung pats him on the back to reassure him.

"Yeah but..." His voice trails off as he slowly makes eye contact with you as he spins around.

"You're nervous because of me?" You point to yourself for confirmation.

"Well, the song is a bit..." His voice trails off again, scratching the back of his increasingly red neck.

"Oh, so you can take your shirt off in front of Stay but you can't sing the song in front of noona?" Changbin teases.

"At this point, noona is like my sister. So it's..."

"I'm pretty sure your actual sister was in the audience this weekend. Your entire family really." You remind him.

"Oh my God," He sighs, burying his head in his hands.

"Ah, Bang Chan! Just hurry up and go in the booth already!" Changbin yells, getting annoyed and dropping all formalities with his leader.

"Okay, okay!" He gets up and takes one more sip of his coffee. "It's a song about trains anyway so I don't know what I'm getting worked up about."

"Hyung, be so fucking for real right now. We're all adults here. Just--"

Smack!

"Ow! What was that for." Jisung rubs the spot on his thigh that Changbin just smacked.

Changbin doesn't say anything. Instead, he nods in your direction, warning the younger man that you're still listening. You roll your eyes and raise your hand up. "It's off the record, don't worry."

After some punches to the air, Chan finally makes his way into the recording booth. He places the large headphones over his ears and pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket. He unfolds the paper and then places it on the music stand in front of him. He signals for you to turn around and cover your ears with a sheepish smile. You respond by shaking your head 'no' and snapping a quick picture of him with your camera.

Jisung gets up from his seat and takes the seat that Chan was sitting in earlier. He pats his previous seat with his hand while looking through the papers in front of him. "Noona, sit here. Come be an honorary member of 3racha."

"I promise you that your careers are safer if I sit back here." You chuckle slightly.

"Then come up here and keep us company. It feels weird sitting here with just two of us. Feels like if Cerberus was missing a head."

"That's a bit dramatic, no?" You question as you gather your things.

"It's 3racha. You need all three of us. Cerberus is just a two-headed dog without the third head. Or worse, a regular dog. 2racha isn't a real thing." Jisung says with a faraway look in his eyes. You can almost see a glint of fondness as he thinks back about something.

"Can I quote you on that?" You ask as you set your things on the table.

"Technically Vocalracha is 2racha," Changbin interjects. Without looking up from the papers he's now flipping through, he pulls out Jisung's chair for you to sit on. Without hesitation, you quietly thank him while taking the seat.

"That's not the same thing and you know it hyung." Jisung whines, stomping his feet on the floor, gently shaking the table.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

All three of your heads snap up at Chan who is now mouthing something at you.

"Oh, his mic is off," Changbin says while he looks at the set of buttons spread out across the table.

"Hold on, this system is different from the one we're used to. Everything is in English too."

"They showed us how to use the equipment earlier but I forgot which one is the mic on and off button," Changbin explains.

Your eyes scan the table and find the button labeled 'microphone on/off'. Afraid of accidentally hitting something and messing with the entire system, you quietly point to it. Changbin follows your finger and presses the button without any hesitation. You hold your breath for a moment, scared that you might have found the wrong button. All three of you stare at Chan while Jisung signals for him to talk.

"Is my mic on now?" Chan asks softly.

All three of you let out a sigh of relief before Jisung presses the intercom button in front of him and leans into the mic. "Yeah, hyung. We can hear you now, loud and clear."

"Okay, good. Are we good to start now? I want to get my song over with before the other kids get here." Chan teeters back and forth on his feet and swings his arms back and forth like a child waiting for their parent to get done talking to their friend. It's an insane image of a man who is about to sing a song that is definitely not about railways.

Jisung turns to look at Changbin who is looking at a little piece of paper in front of him. You can see small diagrams of buttons and little notes on them in Korean that you're almost certain he wrote himself. He gives Jisung a thumbs-up as his finger hovers over one of the buttons.

"Yeah, we're going to start now, hyung," Jisung tells him before sliding the intercom away from him.

Chan resumes his position in front of the microphone. He flashes all three of you an innocent smile before signaling that he's ready to start. Both you and Jisung watch Changbin as he presses one of the buttons. Soon after, the opening notes of "Railway" play over the speaker in the room. Chan makes a motion pointing up which causes Changbin to scramble as he looks for another button while referring to his little cheat sheet. Changbin presses the button and Chan gives him another thumbs-up before singing the opening lines of the song.

You sit quietly between the two younger members of 3racha as they work, careful to not distract them. You've been with them for two months, but this is the most serious you've seen them. Most of the time, they're goofing off and picking on each other or the other members. Changbin quietly nods along to the music while reading the lyrics sitting in front of him. Every few seconds he writes a little note on the page. Jisung is also reading along with the lyrics. After Chan finishes the first verse, he waits patiently while drinking water as Jisung and Changbin quietly discuss among themselves what parts they should have him fix. After a few minutes, they go over what went well and what he can do to improve. Chan nods along before the three of them rerecord the first verse. After the second recording, they replay both versions of the recording for Chan to hear. This time Chan seems a bit dissatisfied and asks if he can try one more time. Once more, the opening notes play and Chan redoes the first verse. During the review of the third take, all three of them are satisfied and go to the next verse.

This process continues for each verse, chorus, and adlib until all three of them, but most importantly Chan, are happy with the final product. Afterwards, Chan switches places with Jisung and it starts all over again. Jisung's recording goes a bit faster than Chan's due to fewer notes from the other two producers in the room. While Jisung records, both Chan and Changbin are quietly explaining everything to you so you have a bit more context of what's going on. After Jisung is done, he takes Chan's seat again while Chan moves over to Changbin's seat so they can record the next song. Changbin's recording took the longest of the three because of how much he was joking around. After that, they managed to get started on the 3racha hip-hop version of "Runners," all while spending more time messing around than focusing. Still, the three of them are done in nearly two hours.

For a moment, you're left alone in the recording studio while the three men take their break outside of the room. You sit quietly on the couch, your new permanent spot now that all three producers are done recording, and add to your notes about the experience. You don't notice at first that Changbin is the first one back in the room. He's quiet for a moment as he reclaims his spot at the end of the table.

"It's not as fun and glamorous as our recording session videos, huh?" Changbin asks quietly, finally breaking his silence.

You slowly lift your head up and blink at him, confused for a moment. You don't think there's been a moment where he's spoken to you first before. At least, not unprompted. Not without another member being in the room.

Changbin continues to stare at you, waiting for your answer. You shake your head and put your notebook aside, "No, I think it's very interesting. I'm learning a lot about making music and you three in general. I really love music so seeing how it's made is really fun."

Changbin slowly nods his head as he spins back around. You roll your eyes as you pick up your notebook again. A few seconds later, Changbin turns around again. You freeze midsentence, waiting for him to say something.

"Do you want to experience the other side of it?" His expression is soft and genuine. You've only seen this expression on his face when he's with his members, never with you. Then again, you haven't been alone with him yet. Maybe the overprotective, intimidating part of him is an act.

"What?" You set your notebook aside once again, "Like, inside the recording booth?"

"Yeah," While his face is softer towards you than you're used to seeing, he still refuses to smile. "For your article. You're still writing that, right? In addition to everything else?"

"I am still writing the article. And I'd love to step inside the booth." Notebook in hand, you follow as Changbin stands up and leads you to the door you've watched all three of them go through.

You wait patiently as you watch Changbin adjust the height of the mic for you. After a few moments, he quietly leaves the room and takes his spot back in front of the soundboard. He motions for you to put the headphones on.

The recording booth is smaller on the inside than you imagined. Much more stuffy, hotter than the room you were just in. It must have something to do with all the soundproofing that needs to be done. You roll up the sleeves of your sweater while you look around the room, taking in every little detail.

"Noona, can you hear me?" Changbin's voice rings through the headphones.

"Yeah," You turn, giving your full attention to the man on the other end of the glass. You always thought that there was a speaker overhead that was connected to the intercom in the other room.

"Good," He nods as he takes a sip of his now watered-down coffee. "I'm going to play something so you can hear what it's like."

You give him a thumbs up as you watch him search through Chan's laptop. After a moment, finding what he's looking for, he turns to look back up at you. "So you're going to hear a quick-timing beat and then the music is going to start."

You wait while watching Changbin as three ticks of what sounds like a metronome play in your ear right before the instrumental track for "Runners" starts. Your head bobs along to the music as you mentally sing the lyrics of the song you've heard countless times. The music is so loud, you're almost certain your heartbeat changed to match the tempo.

Just as soon as the song starts, it ends right when the first verse should end. You quickly grab your notebook and jot down a few notes before looking back at Changbin again.

"Is it always like this? Like," You pause for a moment, trying to find the right words. "is it always just the backing track? I've heard that some artist hear their own voice too."

"You can hear your own voice if you want it that way but it can get a bit confusing so we don't. Some artists will have their guide playing if they have one or a metronome to keep the tempo. If we're layering or doing adlibs then we'll have what we've already recorded playing instead to make it easier for us and the person mixing the track."

"I see," A million more questions float into your mind as you take note of what Changbin just told you. But you decide to keep them to yourself for now. You still have a few more hours before the day is over.

"Do you want to record for real?" Changbin asks suddenly.

You pause for a moment, contemplating his question. It would be a bucket list item you would be able to scratch off the list. But the idea of performing a--song let alone performing a song in front of the original artist--is intimidating. "I can't sing,"

"We have autotune," He says as the corner of his mouth twitches up into a smirk that he can't hide.

You bite your lower lip as you think about the next time an opportunity like this will happen again. With your career, it probably won't happen again in this lifetime.

"Okay, but no laughing."

"Well, not in front of you."

"I changed my mind." You go to pull the headphones off and go back into the main room.

"I'm kidding, I'll be nice. I promise." He says quickly, his infectious laughter ringing through your ears. "What song do you want to do?"

"'Runners' is fine." You breathe as you readjust the headphones on your head.

Changbin does something on the laptop for a moment, probably turning on the autotune for you, and then makes an 'okay' symbol letting you know he's ready to go.

You say a silent prayer that you don't completely embarrass yourself in front of Changbin or any of the other members who are bound to walk back into the studio at any moment as the metronome chimes in your ears again. As the song starts, your voice is a bit shakier than you hoped. It's one thing to pretend to be an idol recording a song in the shower. It's an entirely different beast standing in a real recording booth while singing in front of an actual idol.

The song goes on longer than it did when Changbin was showing you how it sounded earlier. He's probably letting you go for as long as you can before cutting you off. Unfortunately for him, and his ears, you know the entire song.

Claps erupt in your ears just as the song finishes. You turn to the side to see that Chan and Jisung have returned from their break and that both Seungmin and Jeongin have also arrived. You quickly rip off your headphones, grab your notebook, and leave the booth with your eyes on the floor so that none of the boys can see how red your face is. You're not sure when any of them came in, and for your sake, it might be better that you didn't know.

"Wow, noona, do you want to join us in Vocalracha?" Jeongin jokes as you take your spot back on the couch.

"I think Vocalracha has enough members, thank you very much."

"Just switch places with Seungmin, nobody will notice the difference," Jisung suggests as he takes his seat next to Changbin.

"I'll notice," Seungmin deadpans as he takes the spot next to you on the couch.

"Does that mean I'll be Vocalracha leader then?" Jeongin's eyes light up with a mischievous twinkle.

"I think for noona's sake, you shouldn't be the leader. You'll run it like the military." Chan laughs, ruffling Jeongin's hair. In return, Jeongin pushes him hard enough to cause him to stumble.

Jeonging climbs over both your and Seungmin’s legs to get to the empty seat near the couch in the corner. "And Seungmin hyung doesn't?"

"I'm nice to you, why are you lying? Spend a day in danceracha with Lee Know hyung and you'll be crawling back to me, begging for forgiveness." Seungmin pouts.

Jeongin him off while pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I bow for no one,"

"You bow for Stay." Chan reminded the youngest man.

"That's different. I respect Stay." He replies without missing a beat.

"You don't respect me?" Seungmin asks, his mouth drops open, feigning shock.

Jeongin turns to Seungmin and points at himself. "Maknae on top,"

"Guys," Changbin warns. Both Seungmin and Jeongin turn to the older man, confused by the sudden warning. Changbin only replies by nodding in your direction.

And just like that, he's back to putting a wall between you and the entire group.

"Noona knows that we're only joking," Seungmin says softly, turning back to you with soft eyes. Almost like he's apologizing on Changbin's behalf. "Don't you, Y/n noona?"

"I vaguely remember one or more of you saying something about how Jeongin would be scary if he was one of the hyungs so..." You tease as you pretend to flip through your notebook. You slightly glance up and make eye contact with a worried Changbin. "I'm only joking, I know Jeongin has a soft spot for each of you and to take what you guys say with a grain of salt. Like when Seungmin says he hates you, he doesn't really--"

Seungmin throws his hand in front of your mouth, not close enough to touch you, but enough to get you to stop talking. "Hey, hey, hey, no need to expose me like that, noona."

"Okay, okay, well leave the two maknaes alone." Chan laughs, as he takes his seat next to Jisung. "Which one of you wants to go first? Or did you want to start by doing Vocalracha's 'Runners,' drama version?"

"I'll go first. Someone spent the whole car ride worried about doing his sexy concept in front of noona." Seungmin sighs as he gets up and walks straight into the booth.

"Hey," Jeongin cries, looking up from his phone.

"I'd like to remind everyone that I've already seen all of your stages. Multiple times. I've already seen the belly buttons and abs and heard all of the lyrics enough times in the past two months for you to not be worried." You reassure him.

"Couldn't be me," Chan clears his throat as he turns back around. You can see how quickly his neck and ears are getting red just before he pulls his hood over his head.

"You are the biggest offender, don't lie." Jisung laughs while hitting Chan on the shoulder.

"Seungmin, are you ready?" Chan changes the subject as Seungmin pulls his headphones on. Seungmin responds by making a silly face and doing a thumbs-up.

***

The rest of the day pretty much goes how it did earlier. Seungmin got done with his recording almost as quickly, if not faster than Jisung did earlier. Jeongin took a bit longer because he nitpicked each of his takes to make sure they were perfect. By the time they were done with their solos and recording "Runners," drama version it was time for lunch and the remaining three members of the group came with food for everyone. After lunch, Danceracha got started with their version of "Runners" before doing their solo recordings.

You tried to focus as well as you could but with the room full, there was always something happening on the side that always caught your attention. The other members only got scolded by Chan, Changbin, and Jisung, who were in full producer mode, a handful of times for their volume or overall playful antics. And while the day didn't feel like it lasted that long, when you checked your phone, it was basically dinner time.

"Alright, Lee Know-ssi, you're all done." Chan yawns into the microphone. You are almost certain he didn't get much sleep last night after the two of you spent the entire day exploring Sydney for his solo zine.

"Thank god!" The second oldest yells as he quickly pulls off his headphones and joins all eight of you in the main room.

With nowhere left to sit, Minho sits on Changbin's feet. Nobody else is phased by it, and after spending time with the group, it doesn't puzzle you as much as it once did.

"Hyung, get off," Changbin whines.

Minho tilts his head back and looks at Changbin innocently. "Why?"

"Never mind," Changbin mumbles as he gently pushes Minho's head back forward.

You do your best to hide the smirk threatening you appear on your face as you pack up your equipment. You didn't use much today, just your camera and your notebook. But still, you make sure to disconnect the lens from the camera and over both of them with the appropriate caps and then slide them into your bag. You close your notebook with a satisfying tap and put the pen into the wire spiral before putting it into your bag. Satisfied that you packed everything, you stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder.

"If none of you have any plans, we can all head out to dinner for our last night in Australia?" You ask softly.

You want to treat the boys after a long day of work that you know they wouldn't have had if it wasn't for you. It's the least you can do. That is if you can find a way to pay without them knowing or trying to beat you to it.

"A little bit later? There's something the kids and I have to talk about first. If you don't mind waiting, it'll take about an hour. You can go ahead and wait at the hotel if you want." Chan says while stretching his arms in front of him.

You nod with a smile. "That's fine. We can also go another day too. No rush. Have during your meeting. Or text me if you still want to go."

Trying not to trip, you slightly knock into Felix's leg as you leave. You give them one final wave goodbye just as you leave.

You walk to the entrance of the studio, passing by a few random people entering the building. Deciding to stay cool, you wait in the lobby and dig around your bag, looking for your phone so you can call a car service to bring you back to the hotel.

Panic slowly sets in when you don't feel your phone in your bag. You check your pockets quickly before emptying your bag on the couch in the lobby. Pens, gum, your headphones, camera, notebook, wallet, and a bit of trash fall out. But not your phone. You think for a moment, you could have sworn that you put your phone in your bag. You checked the time, set it on the arm of the couch, and then...

It's still in the studio. You shove everything back in your bag. No longer panicking, you move slowly. You could wait around for the group to be done with their meeting and grab your phone so you don't disrupt them. But waiting for an hour, with nothing more to do feels a bit daunting. You could try to head back to the hotel and see if you could ask one of the staff members to message one of the members to grab your phone but the key to your room is in the back of your phone case. And with the security precautions in place for the group, you're almost certain you're not going to be able to get a spare key from the front desk.

"Here," Someone mutters furiously under their breath.

You turn around quickly, only to be met face to face with Changbin, his other hand clenched tightly in a fist. Even with his jaw clenched, you can see spasms of irritation across his face.

"T-thank you," You stutter as you take your phone from him.

Without saying a word, he turns back around and starts walking back to the studio. Halfway he stops, turns back around, and walks back towards you quickly.

"If you're going to bug us, you should learn to hide your phone better." He growls in a low voice.

"Excuse me?" You scoff in disbelief at the accusation.

You thought that you had Changbin figured out. That he's lovely in general but he's protective of the group. But now, as he stares at you with his nostrils flared and pure anger in his eyes, you fear that everything about him is an act.

Before you can explain yourself or even try to diffuse the tension between the two of you, Changbin disappears back into the hallway again.

You tightly grip your phone as you hold back your screams of frustration. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, ignoring the needle pricks of anger stabbing the back of your eyes. Once you've calmed down enough, you pull up the car service app on your phone and order a ride back to the hotel.

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[catboybiologist]

Transition journal and documentation: Jan and Feb of 2024

Measurements for January are up, and February will be soon to follow! Tagging @whalesharkcat and @trans4hire here. If you want to be tagged when I post these, let me know! The advice for injections is in the journal below.

Some quick notes to clarify things:

I'm consolidating qualitative observations into my journal. Oftentimes these haven't been easy to cleanly classify into different categories of observation, so I'm not really gonna bother.

As I'm sure you've realized, the timing of these observations isn't consistent. I have a private document with exact date stamps for everything, and these are mostly right at the end of the month. But my levels checks don't match up to this cleanly, so I group them with the closest set of other measurements. Sometimes I don't have one that cleanly fits.

I can't trust myself to measure height anymore, to be blunt. I want to ask the doctor every time but chicken out about it easily.

But anyways.

And now, as a journal, a brief summary of my thoughts on the past two months:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*deep breathing*

fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkkkk

Okay. So. I'm not gonna list off everything that's happened since the year started. So many independent things started happening, one after the other, that I had to start formatting it as a bulleted list to tell people I know irl what's been going on. Each one has been a crisis on its own- massive emotional events, health problems, health problems in people close to me, transphobic drama with former "friends", academic&research problems, and a resulting mental health spiral. And all of this leading up to my qualifying exams at the end of February, for which I barely scraped by and passed.

But. With all of this. There's silver linings.

The biggest one is that the start of this year has been a stress test of my overall emotional state since starting HRT. I'm not gonna lie- if all of this had happened a year ago, I don't think I would be here now. I either would have completely snapped and done something I regret, or... yeah. But as it stands? I cried. A lot. I isolated a bit. I had mood swings and anxiety and anger and excitement and relief and highs and lows beyond my wildest dreams. It was intense. It was not pretty. But it was cathartic, and healthy. Before this, I would've processed all of this as a generic, stressful, anxiety-ridden malaise, that would've weighed down on me until a breaking point. As it stands, however, I made it. Not in a neat way, not even really in an emotionally stable way, but I made it. And there is no fucking way that would be true pre-HRT. I think I can genuinely say at this point that estrogen has been life saving for me.

In the middle of all this, I switched to injections, right at the start of February. A mistake? Maybe, but I'm too fed up with delaying my progress because "the time isn't right", so I stubbornly refused to delay that change any further. It's a goal I worked out with my provider ahead of time and I stuck to it. So how's that been?

It's been an incredible and WILD experience. I'm on estradiol valerate. For those that don't know, estradiol is conjugated with another compound, which is then cleaved over time in your body to release it. For injections, that results in a peak irculating levels about 1-3 days afer injections. Some people feel it more than others- and holy shit, do I feel it. This has given rise to "the Sundays", because on Sundays, I'm going fucking nuts. My senses are heightened, and I start craving and reacting to physical touch in intense ways. It's not always sexual- while arousal comes easier to me the closer I am to peak, mostly I just become a cuddleslut. It is WILD. I'm also more emotional and cry more easily. Some cis female friends I have confirmed that it mirrors the feelings they get at a certain point in their monthly cycle, so essentially the fluctuating levels are giving me the sensory and emotional effects of a period every week.

The flip side of this is that I feel like shit on Thursdays, like I missed a sublingual dose when I was on that. After the first two weeks, I started taking 2mg sublingual on Wednesday night and Thursday mornings to avoid this, which helped a lot. My provider specifically said this was a good idea, so if you're dealing with that yourself, consider trying it out. I might move to a 5-day injection interval instead, but we'll see.

I've only had one problem with injections so far, which I'm dealing with right now- on my fifth self injection ever, I had unsteady hands and hesitation before stabbing myself, causing a not-great needle stick. Currently, I have a nasty looking injection bruise. Not painful, and healing pretty well, but not fantastic to look at. Self injecting has been intimidating and scary, moreso than I thought it would be. But the actual physical pain is much, MUCH less than I thought it would be, its just that the lizard brain refuses to stab yourself.

If you're thinking of switching to injections, here's a bit of my advice:

keep as many oral/sublingual pills on hand as you can anyways. These will be helpful if you feel your injections aren't carrying you emotionally for the entire interval, or if you don't have an environment where you can inject regularly

If you have a provider, they should provide a nurse tutorial and consultation for you to inject properly. If they don't, try to insist on one. They'll give better advice than I can.

think less, do more. Ideally, the actual moment of the stab should be painless. Be quick and steady about it. The fluid entering feels like pressure and slight burning, but nothing more than that.

vary your injection sites. A doctor or nurse should explain this to you, but this reduces risk of doing what I did and bruising yourself.

be extremely sterile about things. All of the wiping down and sterile technique you'll hear? Don't fuck around with it. Infection is no joke, and absolutely can happen.

Purchase spare needles and syringes from a pharmacist or online. Several reasons for this- one, if you make a mistake and a needle is no longer sterile, you don't want to hesitate about throwing it away. And two... well, let's make a second point about this.

If you want to stock up on estradiol for the future (if you're worried about future access to HRT), this can be easier with injections- but you have to be careful, and you'll need extra needles (for the love of fuck, do not reuse needles). Vials will always have excess medication, because it allows standard volumes to fill and distribute, and it also ensures that needle draws will always be able to be fully submerged. Do NOT try to run your vial out. You WILL run into sterility and contamination issues. That said, vial expiration dates are typically measured from time of first puncture. This will vary, but for me, I was told that the vials are good for 4 weeks after the first puncture. This is overcautious, but not egregiously so. My recommendation would be to use each vial for 1-2 extra punctures, and open the next vial a bit later. Still get prescription refills as frequently as you can. That way, you can stock up on unpucntured vials in case anything happens to your supply. THIS SAID- if you notice ANYTHING wrong with the vial- if the seal isn't containing the fluid properly, if bits of the seal are falling into the medication, if you can see a noticable hole in the seal, DO NOT USE THAT VIAL. Look me in the fucking eye. Do. Fucking. NOT. get sepsis. Do not fuck around with this. The flexibility to be cautious about your vials is a great reason to stock up on a bit extra in the first place.

To anyone in the US, if you're comfortable with doing this to stock up, I would highly, HIGHLY recommend starting this now. Slowly start using your vials for 1-2 punctures extra, stock up unbroken vials. Just in case something bad happens after the elections.

Typically, your medication will come with two sizes of needles- a draw needle (puncture the seal and draw medication into the syringe) and an injection needle. You might want to consider going *slightly* smaller on one or both of those needles. Estradiol is dissolved in a viscous oil as medication, and can be difficult to draw and dispense as a result. But, if you're patient, a smaller gauge might help. For the draw needle, it can help do less damage to the seal and preserve it a bit longer. For the injection needle, if you have a bit more sensitive skin, it might be comforting. Don't deviate too much, though, ESPECIALLY without a medical professional involved.

Remember that I'm not a medical professional, please consult one whenever possible.

I'm still on spiro for now, and I'm continuing it until my next levels check comes back clean. I don't want to erase months of progress getting my levels up by dropping it too early.

Measurement-wise, there hasn't been much change. But I'm starting to realize that the measurements aren't really telling the full story. My breasts look so much larger and, for lack of a better word, breast-like than they did even a couple months ago, but that hasn't been coming through in the measurements very well. I think what's happening is that my fat around my sides is shrinking at the same time my breasts are growing. This is reflected a bit in terms of underbust and waist measurements, but it still seems more dramatic than those are letting on.

Face wise, I think I'm really seeing some changes now. It's hard to put into words, but I'm starting to look more and more androgynous or femme by default, especially if I shave. I'm estatic, honestly, and I hope the trend continues. My chin and nose continue to be problems, but as the structure of the face around them changes, that's becoming less and less true.

I've been getting laser, but so far it's done pretty much nothing. There's lag time, and some of my health issues meant that I had to delay a session and get both sessions at a much lower power than I would've like. I was really hoping to have visible hair removal by June or so, but it looks like that's not happening. That kinda stings, and is a huge blow to my ability to pass by the one-year mark, which has been my target.

I think my boymoding has been holding, for the most part, although its been harder. Even with my sports bras, small bumps are visible under a t shirt, and the face changes won't be unnoticable forever. I've def been more loudly bisexual, and I think most people just write it off as me being fruity. Cis people can also be pretty oblivious, especially when changes are gradual. That being said, I've been coming out slowly to people, giving my usual speech of "I'm still presenting as a man for now, but just so you know this is what's going on", which removes a lot of the pressure and anxiety from boymoding. Still, I haven't told everyone (notably, labmates and family), and my timeline of social transition between June and August seems to be holding steady.

So uh, yeah. If you're curious about anything specifically, I'm an open book, although I may move it to DMs if it gets too personal. Hope that my progress updates are helpful to at least someone!

[justmeinadaze]

I'm in Control Part 6 (Steddie X Reader)

A/N: On my computer these gifs are gigantic and I am ok with that because I need a big Steddie hug right now. I'm just done being an adult. Lol. Anyway, here you ya go.

There are many, MANY aggressive feels here especially from Eddie. This isn't going to be fluffy by any means but it's heading somewhere good... I hope <3. :P.

Warnings: As previously stated, this is a bit rougher than previous ones. Got some hair pulling, Steve gets popped in the face, over stimulation. The color system is used here and someone does say "Red" but its not who you would think.

Also Eddie does interact with someone from his past and talks about some of his trauma, may be a bit triggering. I think that's it...

Word count: 3766

“I appreciate the thought, Wayne. I really do but the answer is no.”

Your eye’s gradually open to the sound of Eddie’s voice in the hallway. The three of you had had your arrangement for a little over a month now and settled into a bit of a janky routine. With your schedules there really was no such thing as normal but every weekend at least since the convention had been occupied with them at (and all over) their house. 

You found yourself enjoying not just the sex but the little moments as well. One Saturday, you and Eddie tried to show Steve some cool fantasy movie but he immediately fell asleep. That following day, you took him to a comic bookstore downtown where you always found hidden gems that no other store had. It was adorable watching him make friends with some of the employees especially when he found out they played D & D. His toothy smile and fast, animated hands were a joy to behold. 

Steve was a hard nut to crack with most things but he always seemed eager and open when it came to trying something he knew nothing about. You told him one day that you were really excited the movie theater was doing a back-to-back marathon of B movies that weekend so he got you both tickets since Eddie would be busy on set that night. When you two left the auditorium, he had a big smile on his face talking about the cheesy films you just witnessed. 

The more time you spent with them though, the more you found yourself wanting to know more about them. They dropped little tidbits of their history here and there but never actually let you it. To be fair, they never asked you anything about your past either. 

“Everything okay?”, you asked Eddie as he came back into the bedroom.

“Yeah, Sweetheart. Just my uncle calling to say hello.”

You crawled out of Steve’s embrace to sit up in their bed. “Just hello? It sounded more intense than that.”

“Nope. Nothing for you to be concerned about.” He smiled over at you as he sat down on the edge of the mattress but his tone came out more curtly than you had ever heard from him before. 

“You know…you can talk to me about anything—”

“IT’S FINE, Y/N! Now mind your fucking business!”

You both stared each other down; his eyes filled with anger whereas yours was a mix of pain and slight annoyance. After climbing out of their bed, you grabbed your clothes from the floor and entered their bathroom, slamming the door behind you. You could hear Steve’s stern grumble on the other side. 

“Eddie, you can’t talk to her like that. We aren’t playing right now.”

“I know. I know. I just—”

You abruptly opened the door to face them both. “Why won’t you guys talk to me about personal things?” Neither of them answered and it infuriated you. 

“I feel like we are being more open with each other, right? And when we started this, you never said we couldn’t talk to each other about our past. Yet every time I ask a question or offer an ear, you BOTH shut me down.”

“We don’t talk about things like that because it doesn’t matter.” Steve’s answer startled you. You expected them to pull you back to bed and at least have a conversation about the topic. 

“I feel like that’s starting to be the tag line of this relationship.” You stomp out of their room on a mission to find to your shoes, hearing them shuffle as the follow after you. 

I’m in control.

“I want to know more about you guys and I feel like you should want to know more about me.”

“You don’t get to make demands, remember?” Steve’s dominate side vaguely started to pull forth. 

“See, that’s where the line becomes blurred, doesn’t it? In there”, you point towards the bedroom, “you don’t tell me things. Fine. Your fucking rules. But out here, as your agent and your friend, you don’t tell me anything either.”

They glance at each other and you know before you even say anything. “Yeah, I see where the mistake was made. Bedroom… Daddy and Sir. Outside… Eddie and Steve. We never agreed to be friends.”

“Come on, Y/N. Don’t be like that.” Eddie stepped forward but before he could reach you, you stepped out of the way and out their front door. 

#################

“This is your fucking fault.” Eddie growled at Steve as they entered the agency Monday morning. 

For the entire previous week, you had severely rained in your time with the boys; only answering texts and calls about work. You showed up on set for their show right when they yelled action and disappeared before they cut. When they tried to hunt you down at your office, you always seemed to be out. 

Even though you never planned on coming over on the weekends, they had grown accustomed to it and when you didn’t show up, that’s when they became angry. 

“How is this my fault? You’re the one that snapped at her.”

“I told you we should have talked to her about how we were starting to have feelings for her but you said we shouldn’t. I’m not going to tell someone who ends up leaving us my personal business.”

“Oh really, Munson? You won’t even tell me what your uncle called about and I’m your best fucking friend.”

“That’s because I’m pissed at you, you fucking dick!”

“Oof. Some people woke up on the wrong side of their beds today.” You walked past them towards your office, sipping casually from your takeout coffee cup. 

 “Where the hell were you?!”, Steve shouts.

“What do you mean, Mr. Harrington?”

“You didn’t come over this weekend.” Eddie strode in behind his friend, shutting the door behind him. 

“Was I supposed to? There was nothing scheduled for you guys. Avery came down to look at places so I helped him with that and then he invited me to Fantasy. You know that new club they opened. You should check it out. There were a lot of beautiful girls there.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed at as he leaned his palms down on the top of your desk. “Is this really the game you want to play with us, little girl? Because I assure you, we always win.”

You crossed your arms leaning forward on your elbows, your face so close to his your noses almost touched. “See…the problem with you, Steve, is you think everything is a little game. Since our arrangement is just sex, I didn’t need it from either of you this weekend. Trust me, I got enough.”

“Please say that you’re lying.” Eddie’s voice shook as he bounced on his legs. 

Your stoic expression faltered slightly at his tone, glancing at him before focusing back on Steve whose eyes hadn’t moved from you once. 

“Go ahead. Break his heart.” His voice was so low only you could hear his taunt.

I’m in control.

“You broke mine first.”

Eddie reached for the glass decoration on your desk and threw it at the wall. You stood up from your chair, alarmed at his sudden outburst. You and Steve watched him with caution as he paced back and forth. 

When he finally stopped, his eyes were vacant. “Both of you come with me.”

“Where are we—”

“Shut the fuck up, Steve! I’m in control right now. Do you understand me?!”

“Yes, Sir.” You both responded in unison. There’s more than authority in Eddie’s request and the fact that he needs you AND his friend to listen to him means it’s important so you follow his instruction. 

He throws on his leather jacket, pulling the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket as he heads for Steve’s car with you two in tow. 

#####################

Your eyes move from place to place around the waiting room of the penitentiary. Eddie’s arms are crossed tight around his chest as his leg jumps.

“Eddie, what are we doing here?” 

He had been silent the entire one-hour car ride up here occasionally breaking the silence by rolling down his window to smoke a cigarette. 

“Now, here are my rules for the moment. Neither of you say a word when we get back there.”

“Yellow.”

You understood you guys weren’t in the bedroom and you three definitely weren’t playing but you didn’t know what else to say. The fact that neither of them were telling you what was going on and it seemed Eddie was on his own personal mission terrified you a bit. 

Steve took your hand in his as Eddie’s eyes met yours for a moment before looking back down to the floor. “You’re safe, Princess. I promise. I would never let anything hurt you but if you don’t want to come back there with me, I will understand. I’m nervous myself.”

“Munson party?”, the officer calls after opening the heavy door. 

The metalhead stands without hesitation and walks through ready to face this alone but breathes a sigh of relief when he hears your voice offer a small thank you to the young man who held the door open for you and Steve.

He led you down a corridor into a room styled the same way you’d seen movies a million times. There were booths that were divided every which way with glass in the front so you could still see the person you were talking to. Both sides had a payphone style telephone hung on the side. 

“Now obviously you can each only talk to him one at a time—”

“Oh, they’re my moral support. They won’t speak to him.”

“Okay, that being the case”, the officer turns to you and Steve. “You can both stand here behind him but that’s it, okay?” You nod as he leads Eddie to a chair in front of the glass partition. 

On the other side, a young female officer brings an older man out that looks a little like Eddie but with more tattoos and harder features. He sighed as both men picked up their phones. 

“Hey Edward.”

“Dad.”

“Jesus.” You looked up at Steve whose eyes were wide with surprise. His hand gripped yours tighter as if he let go, he would float away.

“So, uh, how have you been?”

“Look, why don’t we skip the pleasantries and you tell me what you want. Wayne said you needed help.”

Eddie’s dad scoffed as he clenched his fists trying to control his temper. “Wayne was always a good man. I never got to thank him for—”

“I’m leaving.”

“Ok! Okay. Sit! God damn! Just like your mom with that smartass mouth.” He waved at the officer behind him assuring her he was calm. Steve on the other hand lurched forward before you quickly pulled him back. 

“He’s ok, Steve. He’s ok.” Your free hand wrapped around his arm as you tugged him closer. 

“I have a bail hearing coming up. My new lawyer up here thought it would be a good idea if you spoke on my behalf. Tell them that you forgive me or some shit.”

“Are you serious?”, Eddie cackled. “That’s how you ask for my help? After everything you did and after all these years? You want me to lie for you.”

“Your uncle wouldn’t let me contact you when you were a kid or else, I would have fucking asked sooner.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been a while since I’ve been eighteen so…”

“Yet it still took you till you were 21 to graduate high school. Oh yeah, kid. I still have friends in Hawkins.”

“Good. Maybe one of them can fly up here and stand up for you.”

“Look at Mr. high and mighty over here. What makes you think you’re so much better than me anyway?!”

Eddie hung up the phone as he turned away. His dad was shouting after him as his son brushed past you both and out the door. 

##################

Eddie immediately lit a fresh cigarette as soon as he was outside the jail. You didn’t wait for him to say anything, wrapping your arms around his waist as he leaned against Steve’s car. 

“Are you okay, man?” His friend nods as his arms remain at his sides. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Like I said, Harrington… I was fucking pissed at you. Plus, I wasn’t even going to come down here.”

“What made you change your mind?”

You felt his index finger tap your head. “Her.” 

He watched you as you pulled away from him, trying to make sense of what he was saying. 

“You didn’t have to do this, Eddie.”

“I know I didn’t have to but… I wanted to tell you. I want to tell you more about my fucked up past but I don’t want to open up to someone who’s going to fucking leave. There’s no point.” He gestures towards the jail. “My parents were the first people to hurt me and abandon me. I wanted to show you the shit I dealt with.”

“Where’s your mom?”

Eddie inhales the butt of the cigarette before puffing out a cloud of smoke. “I don’t know. She left me with my uncle after my dad went in. He was originally in a different prison closer to Indiana but Wayne called to tell me they moved him up here and that he needed something from me.”

“I imagine there are many answers to my next question but why are you angry with Steve?” 

“Because…” they quickly make eye contact before Eddie looks back down at his shoes. “I thought we should talk to you about us having feelings for you but Steve said that would be a bad idea. If it’s just sex, you’ll leave at some point. They always do.”

You didn’t know what to say. Your arms wrapped around your body as you turned away from them trying to gather your thoughts. Steve chuckled behind you. 

“Told you, Eds.”

You turned on him, fury emanating from you. “Fuck you, Steve Harrington! You try to act like your so hard. Like you’re some tough badass who doesn’t care about anyone or anything! Mister call me Daddy in bed but can’t step up anywhere else! He has every right to be mad at you! You should have talked to me!”

The sound of Eddie’s boots squashing his cigarette reminded you he was there. “And you, Mr. Munson—”

“Don’t come at me, sweetheart. I’m not in the fucking mood.”

“Exactly.” You charged up to him until your chest bumped his. “You both may work together, live together, and fuck together but you are your own person, Eddie! If you wanted to tell me how you felt then you should have! You don’t need him to dictate you! You’re dominate to remember? Or is the Sir just for show?!”

“Ugh! I’m so fucking angry with you both. If I wanted pussys I would have dated a woman or stayed back home.”

Eddie’s arm shot out as his hand grabbed your hair and pulled you closer to them. Steve opened the backseat, holding the door open for his friend to shove you in and climb in with you. 

As the car started and began its journey back home, you push against Eddie, hitting him with your small fists before he gripped your wrist with his large hands. He spun you around so you were both sitting horizontally with his back against the door and your back on his chest. His left leg swung on top of both your legs holding them still as you continued to wiggle. 

“You know the safe word. You know how to use it. No one is going to ask you any questions tonight, Princess. If you want this to end you just say that word and we’ll stop. The only thing I want to hear is ‘Yes Sir’ to what I just said. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

He shuffled his grip so both your wrists were being restrained in one of his hands as the other took hold of your throat, squeezing it between his fingers. 

“You think the titles are just for show? That Steve and I are pussys, is that right?” You coughed, trying to catch your breath as he let you go. “Answer me. Honestly.”

“Sirs don’t need Daddy’s permission to get something done.” You heard Steve angrily sigh in the front seat as his fingers tightened around the steering wheel. 

Eddie reached down to unbutton your jeans, shoving his hand under the waistband of your panties before running a stripe with his fingers through your folds.

“Little one talks a big game but she’s fucking dripping right now.”

“Don’t get cocky. It’s not for you. Replace you with anyone else and it would be the same ahhh!” Eddie cut you off by abruptly pushing two of his fingers into your entrance. 

“Stop. Speaking. Jesus, Steve. Did you hear her? She’s a fucking slut now. I guess whoever she was fucking this past weekend when she didn’t need us just blew her mind and changed her perspective.”

His pace was ruthless as he pumped his digits into you. 

“Oh and don’t worry. You don’t have to ask to cum this time. I don’t want to hear your voice that much. I heard enough in the parking lot.”

Your back pushed against him as you felt yourself quickly tumble of the edge as you came. You expect him to slow down after he rode you through your high but he didn’t. He kept up the exact same rhythm not even allowing you a moment to catch your breath. 

“Eddie, please.”

He removed his leg from yours and wrestled with your body to tug your jeans down. Shifting you back in your original position, he utilized his right leg to spread your legs open as wide as he could. His hand promptly came down and smacked your pussy making you yelp.

“Who am I right now?!” 

“Sir!”

Eddie shoved his fingers back inside of you resuming his original pace. 

The car ride back was a little under an hour and the metalhead spent the entire ride making you cum. Steve’s backseat was a mess but neither of them cared. As soon as they got back to their house, they wasted no time throwing you over their shoulder and heading straight for the bedroom. Steve tossed you on the mattress and your hand immediately shot out in the air, not even sure where they both were. 

“YELLOW!” You heard the sound of shuffling as someone sat in a chair and the other leaned against the wall. Your eyes were full of tears when you looked at them. Not tears of pain, but of frustration. You reached for a pillow and threw it across the room towards their feet. 

“You should have said something.” You scolded them through gritted teeth. “I…feel…stupid.” Getting up on your knees you, you pointed your index finger at them. “I trusted you enough to agree to this but you can’t trust me enough to tell me you’re getting feelings for me?” They watched as your hands shook. “And I’M pathetic.”

Your jaw clenched as you defiantly faced them. “Green.” Neither of them moved. “I said Green. I’m ready.”

“Red.” Eddie glanced at Steve who walked over to his mini fridge in the corner and pulled out a water bottle. When he tried to hand it to you, you smacked it out of his hand. 

“Why? I said green.”

He casually reached for the bottle again, but then he tried to hand it to you, you threw it across the room. “I know you said green but I’m saying red. We’re done for tonight.”

“WHY?! I can take it!”

“I don’t care if you think you can take it. That’s not the point. This has gone way past pleasure so I’m calling it. Our…ALL of our feelings are getting in the way right now and I think we should wait until we’ve talked to—”

You smacked him then. “Now you want to talk, you fucking asshole!”

You fell back on your heels and hung your head. The bed shifted as Steve sat beside you.

“Can I hold you?” Your hair bounced as you nodded and he swiftly pulled you into his arms on to his lap. “I’m sorry, baby girl. You’re right. You’re not stupid. I’M stupid. Daddy’s sorry.”

You felt yourself shrink into his chest as he held you to him.

“You’re not stupid, dude. Just…jaded like me.” Eddie sat beside him, putting his arm around his friend’s shoulder as his hand rested on your legs.

“I’m sorry, Ed. You were right to. The three of us should have talked about it together.”

“Why didn’t you?” Steve loosened his grip on you so he could see your face to answer your question. His finger poked at your shoulder. 

“Agent. Client.” He flashed you a small smile. “We do think of you as friend. Always have. I really like spending time with you.”

“Me to.” Eddie grinned softly at you. 

“But to push this into a romantic relationship…that’s a whole other ball field.”

“Pfft, leave it to Harrington to make a sports metaphor.”

When you laugh, they both breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Can we…talk about this tomorrow? After your shoot, maybe. I’m just incredibly tired.”

“Of course, pretty girl. Do you want us to take you home?”

“Can I stay here?”

“Yeah, we’ll just go sleep in my room.” Eddie rises but stops when you whine.

“You can lay with me. I don’t mind.”

Steve stands up with you in his arms before placing you down in the middle of the bed and under the covers. 

“I’ll make you deal. You drink some of this and we’ll lay with you.” He playfully tosses the water bottle in your lap. 

You didn’t realize how thirsty you were until the first drop hit your lips. Eddie grinned as he took the empty bottle from your hands and they both crawled in beside you. 

“Hey Eds?” He answers you with a soft hm. “I’m proud of what you did today. I know it wasn’t easy seeing your dad.” You cup one of his cheeks with your hand and tenderly kiss his lips.

As you lay back down you turn your neck to give Steve a kiss as well. His hands brush through your hair as Eddie rolls onto his side to caress your face. 

###################

@gracieluvthemoon @e-munson666 @luna-munson83

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[anathemafiction]

Hello there! So, not a question but more of an enthused ramble about your work, if that's okay :P i finished The Golden Rose in 2 days, just because i could not put it down, and i just wanted to say: it is INCREDIBLE. And i hope you know just how amazing of a writer you are. Your writing flows so beautifully: the way you describe the environments in such gorgeous detail, and the feel of them (heat, rain, lighting, architecture, etc) is so vivid, i love the exploration aspect as well, how much freedom it feels like one has to interact with the city and the environment. And the overarching plot is so intriguing, as are the politics and mysteries, and they feel so rewarding as they unfold. And your CHARACTERS omg. Each one of them makes one curious about them, and they have such wonderful characterization, from the MC to the ROs to even the lovely animals (i'm so chuffed that my character gets to pet all the cute creatures!!! And they all have such distinct personalities) and also i've only done the Alessa romance yet but it's gorgeous. And the DIALOGUE (apologies for the all-caps but it deserves the all-caps imo). The way you write dialogue is so sublime. There were so many incredible lines but i think my favourite was early on in the Alessa romance was the "what a startled pair we make", just because of the whole emotion of the scene and that line just contained such a distinctive feel of wry tenderness, vulnerability and humour...seriously, my friggin heart lmao. Also the rice pudding scene. Anyway, i love the whole setting, the exploration of church corruption/oppression, religion vs faith vs what is considered sin and who gets to decide that...it honestly feels like you're writing an epic. I for one certainly think it's epic. Anyways, sorry for the wall of text, thank you for creating such an awesome story, i wish you well!

I don't know what to say. Thank you so much. I loved reading your interpretation of the overarching themes — you hit the nail on the head, by the way. Plus, your tenderness for Alessa's romance 🥺.

Seriously, thank you ♡

[ieatkeyboard]

Homework gone wrong

You had to make a potion for school but you added the wrong chemical and ended up with an aphrodisiac. It just so happened Simeon was your partner and read the chemical wrong.

Simeon x Fem reader

Warnings: NSFT, Established relationship, naughty words, P in V, unprotected, praise, size k1nk. Let me know if I missed anything!

Lovely. You have MORE homework. Thankfully for you, Simeon, your boyfriend of a year and a half, was your assigned partner.

You had 3 days to get it done but in your head it wasn't a big deal. It should take less than an hour to mix up your chemicals anyway.

You and your boyfriend decided it would be better to do it in purgatory hall, as you planned to spend the night anyhow.          "Ready to go, Beautiful?" Simeon said, picking up your bag and kissing your forehead. You hummed and began walking.

Luke was in the Celestial realm with Solomon and Mephisto so you had the loft to yourselves. He opened the door for you and set your bags in his room.

"Aaaand there we are! Would you like to settle in and eat before we start or should we get it out of the way now?" He asked, wrapping his arms around your waist so your chest was against his.

"Lets get this over with and than we can order in" You replied, giggling as he peppered your face with kisses.

You had your beakers set and Simeon began to read out the instructions.

"Now we need the purple powder." He read.

"Sweetheart, we have 2 purple powders. The cool one or the warm one?" You replied, wiping your measuring spoon off with a paper towel.

"The warm one, I believe." He said, shutting the spell book. "After that, it's done!"

You gently opened the clear bag, taking your measuring spoon and taking the proper amount. The bags had names on them but they weren't facing up so neither of you could see them.

You put it in and the mixture went from a bright blue to a deep red, unlike the teacher example the previous day.

"Umm...Honey?..Are you sure that was the right one?" You asked, concern obvious in your voice as your beloved opened the book again.

"I'm pretty sure... It said it was the warm....One. No it didn't." He sighed. "I read it wrong. It said it should become warm to the touch, not that it's warm toned."

"It doesn't say the name?"

"No, not that I see anyway. It just labelled 'purple powder'."

You looked at the name on the bags. The warm toned baggie was labelled 'Lillys eye (Purple Eye)' and the cool one was 'amythest powder (Purple powder)'.

"Babe?" Your boyfriend asked as panic set in. You had no clue what you had just made.

He looked through any pages with the word purple eye or lillys eye and found one similar to the concoction you made. You took the book from him and began searching for side effects and if it was dangerous while your boyfriend sat down, taking his sweater off and bunching it up in his lap.

Side effects: Arousal.  Shit.

You felt it. Warmth spread down from your core to your clit as you grabbed the table for support.

It was in long, heavy waves.

"Find it, Angel?" He asked, his voice laced with a tone you didn't hear often. Lust.

"Yes. It iiis..An Aphrodisiac." You sighed.

You tried not to think. To empty your head.

Think about ordering food. Getting this feeling out of your system, this feeling, feeling, you wanted to feel him insi-

You threw your head back and groaned.

"A strong one, I see.." He remarked.

His voice was intoxicating. Soft, like a seductive whisper that hovered over the parts that ached most.

"Mhm, if we order food now it should be here in time." You said. "Maybe get this shit out of our systems"

He didn't have time as he palmed himself. He needed you now.

"Simeon?"

Your voice went straight to his bulge. It was like torture.

Speak you idiot! he though.

"Yes! Yes, Love? What's the matter?"

"You feel it too, don't you?"

He stood up and picked you up, sitting you on the table as you undid each others clothes.

Desperate hands on one another as if this was the last time you'd ever touch him. His hands were rough against your jaw as he kissed you.

"Fuck me, please PLEASE fuck me!" You begged as he laid you down, pinning your hands to the sides of your head.

"Fuck, you're so small compared to me.." He let out a loud moan as his hips rutted against yours. You slipped your hands beneath his boxers and pulled them down.

"Please, make me feel good." You whined in his ear.

"Anything for you, Angel.."

You screamed his name as your mind went blank. The table shook as he whimpered into your neck.

"Good Girl. That's a good fucking girl" He buried a hand into your head as his tongue slid through your teeth. You were too limp to kiss back as you clawed his back.

"Come on, Baby Girl, cum for me. " His burried his head into the crook as you screamed his name, warm liquid covering his dark happy trail. "Oh Baby!" He whimpered as he came.

The flame in your stomach began to die down and you kissed him softly.

"Are you okay?" He whispered, kissing up your jaw to your ear.

You nodded and held him close. 

"Thank you.."

NOTE: I'm sorry if it feels skimmed over I tried my best :,)

[fortpeat]

I'm kinda feral over the fact that fort has so unabashedly mentioned on three different occasions (and maybe even more idk) that peat is the one that lead them or gave advice on what to do during their nc scenes (and all the while also being proud that he did well lmaoo) and each time he mentions it, my boy peat has looked shocked and/or embarrassed.

exhibit 1: https://youtu.be/gXh4fh2_jKg (around 3:55).

mc: "on the topic of "spicy" and handsome, what about p'peat do you think is hot in real life?"

f: "well for the nc scene, the one that gave me advice was p'peat, he suggest what to do"

p: *embarrassed laugh* "kill me, the cat's out of the bag now"

f: "really, before shooting p'peat suggested how to do things better, that's probably his "spicy" side. isn't that right?"

and this interview took place sometime in may I think where they said they were only around 50% done with filming. (also, really just recommend watching the whole interview because they're just so cute and fort is Whipped wbk)

exhibit 2: https://youtu.be/I7cpHuhzfdE (around 3:27) in which I assume filming was finished

q: which scene is hard?

p: "I think... love scene"

f: "really? but you guided me"

p: *shocked* "don't believe what he said. I just gave regular advice. I feel like love scene is something hard. I'm just a rookie actor. when it comes to love scenes, my heart will beat faster. anyway, I managed to do it. right?"

f: "you're right. though it's hard, you gave me a good tip. I did it well"

exhibit 3: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CkNQsQKLwYL/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= or https://twitter.com/poppydrc/status/1585524613504606208?t=boDncjXqZMP_kQSg7fsfSQ&s=19

and in this last one, it was definitely after filming had finished and they were also talking about the office table/board room scene

f: " actually p'peat was the one to give me suggestions since we filmed the official pilot. "fort, you have to do it like this"."

mc: "so he is the one teaching you"

f: "it was like "fort if you want me to feel something, that's my sensitive spot" something like that. "just giving you some suggestions". I was like oh, I see. but at the end, I would still follow my heart"

p: "you are making this up right?"

f: "noooo"

mc: "really? you are close enough to tell each other your sensitive spot?"

p: "yes, because we want to make it as natural as possible. my sensitive spot is my ears, but fort kept touching parts other than my ears"

mc: "touch where?"

f: "it was because of the setting. sometimes, I just couldn't reach his ears. something was blocking between us, and it was out of my reach"

mame: "it was an office table"

fortpeat: *put their heads down in laughter and embarrassment*

LIKE ??? Peat?? my son? but also fort leave my embarrassed son alone? and stop being smug? but not really because I love this for me. I'm sorry, I'm just Not normal over them at all. I've been thinking about this for days and I need more people to know about this just because.

also, peat has mentioned multiple times how it took them 3-4 takes (vs bn's 1-2 takes) to film their nc scenes because fort kept messing up (implying he was doing it on purpose). and fort mentioned how on nc scene filming days, the staff would tease him saying it's his time. like fort really was just there to have a good time with peat lmaooo

Hey nonnie ❤️

Sorry for the late reply 🙈 (time zones and I was sleeping) 😁

So moving on to your revelation MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR. LIKE WHATTTT WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE. IS THIS FOR REAL. (proceeds to run to YouTube)

Poor Peat, trusted Fort to keep it a secret between them and my baby is so smug that he did so well for the first time in NC scenes (be proud my love, you were phenomenal 🤣)

Also it is such a FortPeat thing to do you know for Pear to direct Fort how to do and what to do and Fort to follow it to the point. 😌🤌

Also Mame spilling the beans OH BOYYY 🤣🤣 SHES THE BEST WHEN EXPOSING THE BOYS. ALSO I AM DYING AT THE FACT THAT EVERYONE ON SET HAS ALREADY DECLARED THAT FORT IS OBSESSED WITH PEAT 🤣🤣 AND EVEN ENCOURAGES IT 😂😂

I bet every time Peat showed TLC to Fort there would be fireworks blasting by the Crew just to celebrate Fort's happy moment. 🤭🤭

Also kudos to Fort following his heart and doing what he wants to NC scenes coz I feel like that has surprised Peat coz I have noticed that during the boardroom scene while Sky is still in the chair And Prapai is on his knees and just before Pai picks up Sky he looks a bit surprised and does a action like a (double take) and I always wondered what Fort was doing in that moment 😂

CHECK OUT THE LAST SECOND HOW PEAT LOOKS SURPRISED 🤭🫣

P. S Thank you sharing all this gold information with us. Really appreciate it ❤️😚

[infiniteglitterfall]

I'm so fucking done right now

I have a friend. We're going to call her "AAAAAAA!!!!"

AAAAAAA!!!! and I have been friends for more than twenty years. LONG before I started converting to Judaism.

She grew up in an area Jewish enough to get the high holy days off. She has as many Jewish friends as I do. She is more knowledgeable about Jewish stuff than anyone else I know who isn't Jewish. To the point that I've sometimes thought about asking her why she doesn't convert.

Sure, she's a staunch atheist. So nu?

I don't think we'd ever had occasion to talk about I/P politics before a couple of years ago. We immediately discovered we had uhhhhh. Very opposing views. We both backed off of what was clearly going to be a charged and messy discussion.

I didn't know enough yet to try anyway. All I knew, mainly, was that (1) Jews are the indigenous people of Israel and (2) both Israel and Palestine have Done Bad Shit!

That's a very, very, very inadequate understanding. But I did feel pretty confident that point #1 contradicted her apparent stance, which was more "Israel is the one that has Done Bad Shit."

We backed off for a couple of years. She would occasionally mention how much she wished I would read Edward Said, so we could talk about him.

She is, to her credit, totally against Hamas's attack. But we conflict on most other issues. And they're so charged for her that we can't really talk about any of them.

It turns out that the reason they're so charged is that her niece got yelled at and called out for "being an antisemite" for supporting BDS in college, and it was traumatizing for her.

In other words, she and her family stopped at "I had really really big feelings of shame and fear about this," and chose not to see "and I tried to find out why this marginalized group was saying that" as an option.

And also, AAAAAAA!!!!'s sister, a local elementary school principal, went through a stressful time recently for similar reasons: Jewish families were accusing her and/or her school of being antisemitic, and one (1) family left.

AAAAAAAA!!!! set the boundary, with me, that we should not talk about the definition of antisemitism, or antisemitism related to the protest movement, after I posted a list of things on Facebook that the ADL is charging the Berkeley Unified School District with.

Including that K-12 students have been saying and/or writing, "Kill the Jews," "Jews are stupid," "Of course it was the Jews," and telling Jewish peers, "I don't like your people."

My friend is angrily convinced that "such accusations are a flood of SEWAGE smeared on protesters, professors, etc. I am not saying there is no antisemitism, though Berkeley is a very weird place for it to crop up in the from-zero-to-a-thousand way it is described. Of course there can be a) isolated incidents that hit fucking hard in these circumstances, and b) deliberate elisions between, again, being against what Israel is doing, and having that portrayed as being antisemitic."

/looks at the camera/

All of this is just context for what I came here to say 😅

I WAS TONIGHT YEARS OLD WHEN I FOUND OUT WHAT EDWARD SAID WROTE, AND WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK. FUCK THAT DUDE TWICE.

Constantine Zurayk's fiction that the “Arab nation” suffered the Nakba didn’t survive for long. [By 1967,] the meaning of the Nakba had already changed as Palestinian activists and historians began depicting the events of 1948 exclusively as a tragedy for their own people.

...The most influential of those [new books that framed it that way,] particularly for audiences in the West, was Edward W. Said’s The Question of Palestine, published in 1979.

Said, a popular Columbia University English professor [OH HELLO] and a member of the Palestinian National Council, was something of an icon in liberal intellectual circles because of his earlier book, Orientalism. In that work, Said framed the history of colonialism in the Arab and Islamic world within a system of Western racialist thought.

I'm just gonna guess that he didn't go back farther than 50 years. Because before that point, you get 1,300 years or so of Arab and Islamic colonialism, and I don't know how it would make sense to frame that within a system of Western racialist thought.

In The Question of Palestine, the author argued that the game was stacked against the native Palestinians in favor of the white Zionists, because of the same dominant racist ideologies.

THAT'S HIM, OFFICER. THAT'S THE GUY.

That's what my friend has been trying to get me to read for three years? An ahistoric mess that pretends Jews were actually white supremacists at the time that white supremacy was actively trying to wipe us out?

I'M SO TIRED, YOU GUYS.

Said denounced “the entrenched cultural attitude toward Palestinians deriving from age-old Western prejudices about Islam, the Arabs, and the Orient. This attitude, from which in its turn Zionism drew for its view of the Palestinians, dehumanized us, reduced us to the barely tolerated status of a nuisance.”

Yeah, THAT'S what happened.

“Certainly, so far as the West is concerned,” Said continues, “Palestine has been a place where a relatively advanced (because European) incoming population of Jews has performed miracles of construction and civilizing and has fought brilliantly successful technical wars against what was always portrayed as a dumb, essentially repellent population of uncivilized Arab natives.”

This was a harsh and distorted view of the Zionist movement.

I said I was so fucking done, and what I MEANT was that I was so fucking angry, and NOW I'M TEXTING HER SUPPORTIVELY ABOUT OTHER STUFF WHILE I WRITE THIS.

I just.

Please drag Edward Said for me or otherwise Go Off. Thank you

[latoyalestrange]

THE FOOL

p. pascal x f!oc

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: Naela wonders if her dream is worth her efforts. She's 25 now, and she's seen dozens of people's careers take off years before hers. Why can't she catch a break?

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: A lil childhood trauma thrown in there, loneliness, a quarter-life crisis. I'll make up for it, dw. Not edited bc I do what I want lol.

Taglist: @marvel-sw-lover , @lokislittle , @red-red-rogue

comment to be added to the taglist!

CHAPTER ONE -- HALF TRUTH

The beautiful in-between, the calm before the storm, or as Naela liked to call it, pure hell. The days, weeks, sometimes months she waited for her manager to call her with a verdict. She busied herself with her second job (the only one making her money) and other auditions in this period, but there was always a sense of existential-level dread that hung over her like a dark cloud everywhere she went. She could zone out for as long as her environment would let her, either daydreaming about getting the role or reminding herself of what she could've done better.

She was doing just that when she felt her phone buzzing on the leather booth next to her. She knew it could only be two people, her boyfriend or her manager. She recalled her last audition, a nameless Netflix show where, if she were to miraculously get the part, she would be a key character to the story. Tons of lines, a romance sub-plot, and even some character development. She also hated to admit it, but she really hoped it wasn’t her boyfriend.

It’s not that she didn’t love him, she did, but she loved acting so much more. They’d been together for close to three years. She had met him in her senior year at UCLA and they were a match ever since.

Sure enough, it was her manager, Mike's, name on her screen. Every single time he called, it left her breathless for a second. A familiar tightness in her chest and empty expression returned. She answered and hesitantly put the phone to her ear.

"Hello--"

"Naela!" She pulled her phone away, letting her eardrums recover. "Naela! Naela Rivera!"

"What? Why are you yelling?" She questioned him in a hushed tone, not wanting to attract attention on her break.

"You got the part! You're gonna be on a Netflix show!"

She was silent for a moment, then laughed, "What?" He must be joking.

"I'm serious! The Casting Director just called, the show is called Narcos, and you fly out to Columbia in two weeks." Silence again.

"I have work--"

"Hello?? So quit! You'll be shooting for six months anyway. Listen, I'll let you process this but I already told them yes. I'll send everything over." She blinked away the surprise on her face and nodded.

"O-okay, yeah, thanks..." She heard the line disconnect, but she held her phone up to her ear, still stunned, frozen.

God...this was everything she's ever wanted. She instantly thought of her fourteen-year-old self walking dogs, running lemonade stands, and babysitting every chance she got to save up. Then her at fifteen, getting her first job under the table and putting every bill they gave her in a jar. Then her at eighteen, spending so much of it to move to Los Angeles. Lastly, her now, at twenty-five...working forty-hour weeks, auditions on her days off and sometimes having to choose between an audition fee or food. On top of that, fighting with her boyfriend when she told him about her breakout role. Apparently she chose the job to spite him, knowing she’d be able to cheat on him with the illusion of it being part of her job. Eventually she convinced him that it was just a job and that she loved him, but all she kept thinking was how he should be happy for her. She wondered what her future self looked like.

The next two weeks were a blur of signing contracts, packing, setting up a direct deposit with her landlord, calling her family to tell them the news and mentally preparing herself when the madness ceased just a few days before her flight.

Even then it still didn't feel real when she got to the airport, stepped on the plane, or when she finally landed in Columbia. If the temperature change wasn't enough, the live tropical plants that decorated the airport definitely made her realize she was far from home. To Naela's surprise, and her dread, Mike was waiting for her outside of the terminal. Glasses, linen button up, slacks and all. He jogged over to her, his arms open for a hug. she reluctantly reciprocated, side-hugging him back.

"Oh, Naela, so glad to be here for you. This place is paradise! Have you seen the lounge yet?"

She gave him a tired smile, "No, I just got off the plane--"

"Right, right, getting ahead of myself. Go get yourself a juice or something, I'll go get your bags." He jogged off to baggage claim, that same chipper smile on his face. Naela stood there for a moment, confused. He wasn't normally so excited or helpful. She shook her head and turned to start towards the lounge, which looked a little crowded with chatting patrons. She weaved through the couches and tables to get to the juice bar with an array of selections and fresh fruit toppings. Naela, taking advantage of all the options, made a cocktail of pinapple juice, frozen mango, lemon, and orange. Taking one sip lifted a small weight off of her shoulders. Her first taste of paradise and fucking making it after all those years. A proud smile shown lightly through her jet-lag RBF.

The moment was short-lived, however, when Mike found her, her two large suitcases rolling behind him and her heavy duffle slung over his shoulder. He instantly dropped the patterned bag at her feet, his chest heaving a bit.

"Had no idea your bags were this heavy..." Naela repressed a chuckle as she saw her manager struggle and humble himself.

"I got it, thanks," she replied cheekily, taking both suitcases in her hands and carrying her duffle with ease. He looked shocked for a moment, then led her towards the exit. She smiled to herself as his back was turned.

Once they were outside, it was still just as crowded, but much, much, hotter. The humidity alone was bad enough but the early afternoon sun was brutal. She was sweating already, even under the shade of the building. She reluctantly took off her hoodie, which she was sure left her hair frizzy, just adding to the look. She wiped away the beads of moisture forming on her face, making her realize her deodorant was packed away in her suitcase. Luckily, she didn't have to suffer for long, the shuttle with the film company text on the side pulled into the drive after just a few minutes. Mike instantly opened the door and sat himself down in the farthest seat.

The driver, however, got out to help Naela put her bags in the trunk, at which point, four other men gathered around the shuttle to do the same. She didn't even notice them waiting with her, but she did now. Two of them were dressed more comfortably, like her, and the other two looked more polished, and professional. She immediately made the connection, more actors and their mangers.

Once her luggage was tucked away, she joined Mike in the air-conditioned van, not saying a word. The inside of the car was incredibly clean, it looked brand new and smelled that way too.

The next passenger to climb inside was older than Naela for sure. Some scruffy stubble shaped his cheekbones and sharp jaw perfectly, and he had the same curly, frizzy hair Naela had. He wasted no time sitting himself right next to her and giving her a polite smile.

"Hey, I'm Pedro," he introduced himself, a little breathless from the heat. He extended his muscular hand for her to take. She instantly look it and smiled brightly back at him.

"Naela." She added, feeling his hand totally engulf hers.

"You have a beautiful name, Naela. Nice to meet you." Other people were still getting into the car, and she could hardly focus, due in part to his confidence.

"Thank you--" Another man reached over from the row of seats in front of them and offered his hand as well.

"Boyd Holbrook. I've already met Pedro, but not you." Wow. Was every actor going to be this attractive? She already felt out of place by the second one.

"Naela. Nice to meet you." She shook his hand just as she did Pedro's. Boyd's were a bit softer, but hers were still small in comparison. He nodded, smiling and turned around to face the driver again, who was just starting the van.

The drive to the studio was mostly silent, very bumpy, but luckily not very long. When she saw all the trailed lined up outside of the warehouse, it finally sunk in. The biggest set she'd ever been on, and she was one of the stars. Everyone went their separate ways after getting out of the shuttle, and Mike led her to her trailer. Her very own trailer. It even had her name on the door. Once she got inside, she set her luggage down and looked around in awe.

"Okay, Naela! This is your home for the next six months." She didn't respond as she spotted the back bedroom, instantly going in to check it out.

"Don't forget the cast dinner at six, okay?" He called to her once she disappeared behind the curtain partition.

"Okay!" She answered. At times like these, she wondered if she really needed a manager that badly. She looked around a bit more, unpacked some things, then started getting ready. Only after she turned on the AC, though.

By five-thirty, she was ready. She put on a red two-piece sundress with sleeves that hung off her shoulders. That particular shade of red she loved; she was always told it complimented her tan skin. She refreshed her dry curls and put on some comfortable nude heels. She couldn't bare putting makeup on with the heat, so she just brushed through her brows and put a light layer of mascara on her lashes.

She knew she was early, but she also knew it couldn't hurt to get to know some of her castmates beforehand. She told herself she didn't have anyone specific in mind. To her surprise, however, she found mostly every seat filled when she arrived at the patio.

Most people didn't look up when she rounded the corner, but as soon as Pedro saw her, he started waving her over.

"Naela! Your seat is here." She was sure everyone could see her blush, everyone's eyes on her as she joined them at the table.

"Ah, there's my Lucia! The Golden Trio is all here." The director added. Wait. The Golden Trio?

He sat at the very end of the table, Boyd on one side and her and Pedro on the other. He outstretched his hand. No...that means Pedro is...Javi? She recalled the scenes she performed at the casting call with a character named Javi. From what she gathered, their characters were friends with benefits.

Out of politeness, she obliged and met his hand with hers. "Thank you, sir," was all she could think to say. Once she sat next to Pedro, she finally allowed herself to take in the scenery. Lush fruit trees grew over the courtyard and a grand fountain stood tall in the center.

"Exhausted yet?" Pedro muttered, leaning toward her.

She chuckled, "I don't think I've ever been so tired. I slept on the plane, too."

"I know, somehow sleeping made me more tired," He laughed in response, then continued, "Do you like your trailer? Definitely not what I'm used to."

She shook her head, "No, me neither. It's making my apartment look bad." They laughed again in unison. Unnoticed by Naela, Boyd was smirking over at Pedro, shaking his head too.

The extra twenty minutes they had before the dinner went by fast along with the flow of their conversation, which never stopped, aside from some interjections by Boyd and Joanna. It was honestly refreshing for her. Before they knew it, the table was being set with colorful fruits and vegetables, arepas and other appetizers, an entire roast pig for the main course, and cholado for dessert. Normally Naela would be put off by the entire pig in front of her, but she hadn't eaten a full meal in the 36 hours it took to get there.

After giving each other a few quiet moments to eat, Pedro was the first to start up the conversation again with "So Naela," he washed down his last bite with a fruity cabernet, "Tell me about your family."

She took a deep breath, "I grew up in San Antonio. It's just me, my mom and my brother, Sebastian. He helps my mom run her restaurant.”

"You guys must be close. No boyfriend, then?" he mused.

"Yes, actually. He’s Josh." she laughed. "What about you?"

"It's just me and my siblings now." His response wasn't wounded, it was more accepting than anything.

"I'm sorry," she replied instinctively. "I don't know if I could recover from that. You were right about my family being close." She chuckled painfully.

"Thank you. They make it better...they really do." He took another greedy sip from his wine glass. "I had a feeling you were Lucia," he added.

"Is that so?" she replied sheepishly, trying to hide the blush creeping onto her cheeks again by looking down at the table.

"Mhm," he hummed confidently. "Listen, if at any point theres something that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me." He leaned in closer, making sure to look her in the eye as he said this.

She nodded, "Thank you, Pedro. I appreciate that." She wasn't sure if it was the wine or the company, but she could tell by the flushed feeling she had that her entire face was red. If Pedro noticed, he didn't say anything.

They continued talking as they waited for everyone to finish. Once conversation lulled and everyone was feeling even more tired from such a filling meal, the director stood at the end of the table to announce, “Alright, everyone...go get some sleep. Table reading is inside, tomorrow at 7 AM. It's gonna be a long day of reading but you'll live." A few actors chuckled but most did not. Naela stretched as she stood, she felt like she'd been sitting forever.

"Goodnight, Naela." Pedro stood too, and Naela had to fallow his eyes upward to maintain eye contact. She could feel a pit in her stomach form. Hm, didn't realize he was that tall.

"Night, Pedro..." She hesitated, smiled tiredly up at him, then finally turned to go back to her trailer. His eyes lingered for just a bit too long as she walked away, but eventually Boyd snapped him out of it by patting his back and saying his goodbyes as well.

It felt so fucking good to get ready for bed that night. She was in her comfortable clothes again at last and she was clean. She dimmed the lights and decided to scroll on social media for a bit. She came across an ad for Game of Thrones, and remembered Pedro had mentioned being in the previous seasons.

Needless to say, her curiosity got the best of her and she looked up "got pedro pascal scenes".

Holy shit.

This job just keeps getting harder and harder.

reblog if you made it to the end!

[shina913]

Stalemate, Part 2 | MYG

Stalemate (Mini-series)

Definition:  (1) Chess. a position of the pieces in which a player cannot move any piece except the king and cannot move the king without putting it in check. (2) any position or situation in which no action can be taken or progress made; deadlock

Pairing: Woodworker!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞; NSFW

Genre: breakup!AU; toxic relationships; angst; fluff; smut; heavy drama

Summary: "The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over."

Word count: 8K+ words

Warnings (more written in individual chapters): ANGST; problematic exes; relationship insecurities; alcohol consumption; cussing; miscommunication; past infidelity (reader had an affair with a married man but not detailed); vulnerable confessions; jealousy; verbal confrontation; lots of crying; it just gets really dramatic

A/N: Okay so...now this final installment is just...ANGST...but with payoff (I think)??? Anyway, this is un-beta'd so I hope the story makes sense!

Now…

“You think he’s still butthurt about the whole thing?” Hyejin asks.

“I don’t know what to think.” You shrugged and took a sip of your drink. “I thought we had a clean break.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s what you think. Is this the first time you two have seen each other since things ended?”

Narrowing your lips into a thin line, you nodded. Her eyebrows lift in disbelief. “Wow…really?”

“Yep,” you say, popping the ‘p.’

“But how is that possible? He still hangs out with Namjoon and with the gallery’s construction–”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, Hye…somehow, our meetings with you guys never overlapped.” You figured part of it was due to Namjoon’s very meticulous planning.

Hyejin’s eyes widened. “Damn. And is it true that you both unfollowed each other on your socials?”

You let out an exasperated breath. “Come on, Hyejin. Isn’t that just sort of a natural thing to do after you break up? How many of your exes do you have on your socials?”

She grimaced. “Uhm…a few of them?”

Now it was your turn to bulge your eyes at her. “What?”

“Yeah. They’re still on my list.”

Your mouth falls open. “Do you ever view their profile, lurk, and see what they’re up to?”

“No, not like that,” she says. “They pop up because they’re on my feed but not because I actively seek them. They’re just there…it’s like a useless appendage or something.”

“But why even keep them there in the first place if they serve no purpose?”

“I don’t know. It’s just not a huge deal to me. I don’t bear any ill will toward them and I hope they think the same of me.”

“What does Namjoon think about all that?”

“It’s whatever. His ex is still on his list but it’s not something that keeps me up at night,” she explains. Then she gasps, looks at you, and remembers something. “Shit, I'm sorry. No offense, babe.” She reaches across to squeeze your hand assuringly.

You smile and appreciate her consideration. “None taken, babe.”

Hyejin smiles back. “Anyway, Joon and I have an understanding that all of those relationships are done. It’s about us now.”

You sigh in frustration, recalling how things went down with Yoongi. “I guess I wish everyone was in the same mindset as you both are.”

“Put it this way—I’m not bothered by it and neither is Namjoon. But if one day, he suddenly asks me to delete them off my list then I would do it, no question.”

“Really?” You did your best to hide your skepticism. Hyejin normally didn’t allow her man to dictate what she could and couldn’t do in her life.

“I would do it out of love and respect for him. If I asked him to do the same, he would too. It’s not about trying to prove a point or compromising your beliefs to please your partner. This person, whom you love, is setting clear boundaries. The question is whether you love that person enough to set a new boundary so you can honor theirs. It all depends on the situation!”

“I don’t know, Hye–you’re always so headstrong, though.”

“And so are you, YN. It’s why we’re besties,” she giggles. “But you know, when you find the right person,” she looks off into the distance and catches Namjoon’s eye, making her smile fondly, “…You wouldn’t mind loosening the reins a bit.”

You took a long swig of your drink. “Wow…you’ve changed Ms. Ahn.”

“Yeah, sometimes we need to embrace change. Although, I do miss my hoe-ing days every now and then,” she winked at you.

Truthfully, you envied her. When you and Yoongi were together, she would tease you about monogamy, yet she was always so supportive of your relationship.

You shook your head. “Well…personally, I feel like cleaning out your social media timeline is a way to move on.”

“That’s just part of it, babe. If a person wants to move on, they can and will…with or without social media.” Just then, she looks past your shoulder as something new catches her eye.

You turn your head in curiosity to find Yoongi craning his neck through the crowd as if searching for someone, until his eyes land on you. You locked gazes for a few seconds before he started moving toward you. You quickly turn away.

“Looks like he wants to talk,” Hyejin remarks. As Yoongi closes in, you see him from your peripheral vision.

“I’m gonna go check on Namjoonie,” she says with a small smile at you. Before she walks away, she gives Yoongi a quick nod.

Then…

After a marathon of morning calls and virtual meetings, you took advantage of the lull to stretch your legs and maybe attempt to have lunch with Yoongi. He’s been insanely busy with projects as well and though you stayed over at each other’s places often, you barely spent quality time together in the last week.

You emerge from the room and hear anxious mumbling by his workshop.

“Hey,” you poked your head from the corner to see him in the middle of a tense conversation with Namjoon.

“Hey, YN!”

“Joon! Yoongi didn’t mention that you were stopping by!” You walked over to give him a hug.

“Oh, it was just a pit stop for me, among other things I'm supposed to do today,” he smiled.

“Why don't you stay for lunch? I’m making–”

“That won’t be necessary,” Yoongi says curtly, making you recoil. Yoongi sees the worried expression on your face and tries to remedy it. “What I mean to say is, Namjoon was on his way out anyway and he just told me that he’s got a full afternoon ahead.”

You turn to Namjoon, who grimaces. “I…appreciate the offer, YN but Yoongi’s right. I’ve got a lot of errands to run. Maybe next time, huh?”

“Sure, of course!” You look at him and back at Yoongi and decide not to push any further. You already knew that one of Yoongi’s clients has been extra demanding so you were on a need-to-know basis.

You leave the workshop and walk into the kitchen to check the pantry. He hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a while so instead of trying to make something, you just pull up the food delivery app on your phone to order something more convenient.

“Jagi, is there anything in particular that you’re craving for?”

“No, baby. Surprise me,” he answers distantly, continuing his conversation with Namjoon.

While placing the order, you couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their argument through the divider.

“Bro, I don’t know how you could have just let the deadline pass. Jiwon placed the order months ago and I get here and you’ve got other orders getting picked up for shipment. Orders that were placed after hers. You said that it was totally doable–”

“I know what I said, Namjoonah!” He lets out a frustrated groan. “Look, just tell Jiwon that we ran into a supplier issue. I’ll fucking fix it, okay?”

“What the fuck do you expect me to tell her?”

“Can’t you figure that part out? Isn’t this why you’re the client relations half of this business?”

You hear footsteps approach in your direction so you retreat back into the bedroom and pretend that this was just a regular business squabble between friends.

Namjoon lets out a grunt of annoyance.

“Okay, look,” Yoongi relents. “Just stop stressing out. I’ll call Jiwon myself later to let her know that her shit will get done. Alright?”

Namjoon nods. “Thanks, man. She’s in a pissy mood. Better you than me.”

******

The weekend finally arrives and you and Yoongi have plans.

You were such a nervous wreck that you start to flap your elbows as if they were wings to cool your sweaty armpits. You were meeting Yoongi’s mom tonight for dinner. She lives a few hours away and rarely visits. She was looking forward to getting to know the new woman in her son’s life.

You make your way in front of the mirror, fluffing your hair and doing some final checks on your makeup. You lean in closer and flash your teeth, making sure that you didn’t have any lipstick stains on them.

“How much longer do you need?” Yoongi asks while he leans against the doorframe. Looking at his reflection, he was handsome as ever with his hair pulled back in a ponytail and a casual look. As much as you enjoyed him dressed in his coveralls while he worked, you always considered his date-night looks a treat.

“Two minutes.” You smooth your dress one more time and turn around to make sure that your skirt didn’t have any creases on it.

“We’re just meeting my mom for dinner, not the queen.”

“I know that. I just want to make a good impression,” you rationalized. “How do I look?” You turn to him and put your hands to the sides, presenting yourself. 

“Beautiful,” he says with a soft smile.

******

Your laughs ring through the restaurant after Yoongi’s mom make a cheeky joke at her son’s expense.

“Eomma…” He warns.

“Lighten up, adeul! It’s just a little joke.”

“Sure, ma,” he responds dryly.

She sipped on her wine and turns her attention to you. “You know, YN, I really like you! You’re just so…gah…the word is escaping me right now!”

You tensed up in anticipation of the next word that would come out of her mouth.

“Refreshing! That’s what I meant to say. You’re such a breath of fresh air!” She exclaims.

Your shoulders visibly relax at the compliment.

“Thank you, Mrs. Min–”

“Please, call me eomma,” she smiled warmly. “Let’s skip the formalities! Even better, we should get together for drinks sometime–” then she puts her hand up to the side of her mouth as if to whisper in an exaggerated manner to you, “You know, without Mr. Grumpy Cat here,” she mumbled.

You both giggle like close girlfriends while Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“I’d love that, eomma! Why don’t we exchange numbers after this and we can get something on our calendars?” You proposed.

His mom beamed. “Excellent! The sooner, the better!”

You smiled excitedly at how well you were warming up to Yoongi’s mom. You had a very different idea of how this night was going to turn out. The server comes by to check in, asking if there was anything else that they can get you. You picked up your wineglass and polished off whatever was left in it.

“Can I please get another glass of cabernet?” You ask him.

“Of course, miss.” He asks the rest of the table, to which his mom requests that her glass be topped off as well. Yoongi declines.

“You know, I should say–I’m shocked that Yoongi let you order that second glass of wine.”

Your brows creased in confusion. You cleared your throat, “I…beg your pardon?” You ask slowly.

“Well, back then, Jiwon–Yoongi’s ex–she didn’t drink much. On the rare occasion that she did, Yoongi made sure to cap it at a glass. She was always uptight, that one. Nice girl, very formal, comes from a good family. But oof…so uptight. Unfortunately, that’s Yoongi’s type though…” she remarks flippantly. 

Yoongi shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Eomoni…please!”

“Was there something wrong with what I said? Are we not supposed to talk about Jiwon? We’re just having a conversation here.”

You shift your attention to Yoongi’s direction, where he keeps his eyes low. Yoongi himself had never mentioned her name to you, but you knew of their history.

You’d heard that name before…it was the same name of the person that he and Namjoon were arguing about recently. 

Deep down, you sincerely hoped that those were two different Jiwons.

******

The rest of dinner goes on without any further awkward conversations about certain ex-fiancees. You bid his mom farewell and promise to give her a call to schedule a girls’ night when she’s back in town.

Yoongi, on the other hand, looks exhausted when you get in the car. “I can drive if you’re too–”

“Nah, it’s fine. You had a couple glasses. Besides, it’s a short ride, I can manage.”

After a few minutes of silence, you break the tension on the drive back to his place.

“Your mom is so adorable. I love her!” You beamed excitedly.

“Yeah, seems like you two really hit it off. I didn’t realize you had a lot in common,” he says wryly.

You laughed. “What’s the matter with you? Aren’t you glad that your mom and I are getting along well?”

“Of course I am,” he replies, still looking straight ahead down the road, his expression unreadable.

“If you’re happy then why do you look like someone just kicked your puppy? Was it because she mentioned Jiwon?”

He lets out a frustrated groan. “Please! Can we not bring that up again?”

“Is it because she’s a princess who doesn’t drink and obeys everything that you ask her to do?”

“YN, please!” He smacks his hand on the steering wheel. “Please…just…let’s not hash that out, okay?”

You hold your tongue and cross your arms over your chest, seething the rest of the way back.

When he pulls into the driveway, he turns off the engine, then steps out of the car while you remain in the passenger seat.

“Are you throwing a tantrum?”

“No,” you say shortly.

He gets back in the car and coaxes the information out of you. “Come on, what’s going through your mind?”

“I was just thinking–maybe I shouldn’t have ordered that second glass of wine.”

He lets out a sound of exasperation and grips his forehead. “Are we still on that?”

“No, really though…maybe…” you shrug, “I don’t know, maybe I should be more like Jiwon? You know, a good girl.”

“What is your point, YN?”

“My point, Yoongi, is…why are you with me?”

“Why am I with you? W-what do you mean?”

“Why do you love me?” You press him.

He stares at you, taken aback by your interrogation. “Why do I love you?” He repeats. “What kind of a question is that?”

“A legitimate one!”

He scoffs angrily. “I don’t have time to deal with this shit right now, YN…I’m stressed, and I’m–”

“Okay. I get it,” you huff. You grab your coat and purse and step out of the car.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He barked.

“I’m calling a rideshare to take me back home!” You spat over your shoulder, pulling up your app to summon a car.

“YN, you’re being ridiculous!”

“Just leave me alone. It seems like you need a little bit of space. So I will give you that!”

At half past 1AM, your phone buzzes while you lie awake in bed. You picked it up off the nightstand to see Yoongi’s name and face flashing on your screen.

You second-guess answering…but you were the idiot who picked a fight with him. You press the green button and hold the phone to your ear, saying nothing.

“Baby…come home, please,” he begs you.

“I don’t know…I just need some time,” was all you say before you both hang up.

After another half an hour of pathetically staring up at your ceiling, you sat up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. Like a lovesick puppy, you put on your sweats, call another rideshare to take you back to his house, where you crawl to bed and into his waiting arms.

Now…

“Hey,” Yoongi says awkwardly as he approaches you.

“Hi,” you say icily. You couldn’t forget the comments he made to Namjoon about you while you were in the bathroom.

“Uh, listen…I just wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? What for?”

“Y-you know,” he stutters. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Which part exactly?” You ask him. “That I’m loud and bring too much drama with me? Or that I’m a bad cook?” You scoffed. “I used to cook for you all those nights when you had no time to make yourself a meal because you were so busy with work. You used to say that you loved my cooking!”

“You weren’t a terrible cook,” you counters. “I just…I was being stupid.”

“Oh, I know,” you tell him and laughed softly.

Moments of uncomfortable silence later, he asks, “So uh…how’ve you been?”

“I’m good,” you answer sincerely. “You?”

“Great,” he replies. “Are you…here with anyone?”

You chuckled at his forwardness. “No, but I’m supposed to meet someone in an hour.”

His lips parted slightly, “Ah, I see,” he smiled tightly. “Like…a date or…a boyfriend?”

“What’s it to you?” You smiled enigmatically. 

“Just trying to make conversation...and I was just curious.” He looked like he wanted to say more after that but he looks away and takes a swig of his drink.

“What about you? Did you bring a date?”

He shook his head. “I haven’t spent enough time with anyone to bring them to things like this.”

“I see,” you answer. “So, just casually dating, huh?”

“What’s it to you?” He returns your question.

“Touche!” You both chuckled.

“I thought you were going to start mouthing off to me and Namjoon earlier by the bathrooms,” he laughs.

You swat the air. “Old YN may have but…I’m a changed woman now.”

“Oh, really?” He asks.

“Yeah. You know, it’s been a while and I’ve changed my ways. I try to watch what I say these days.”

Yoongi smiles guiltily.

“Besides, I used to talk shit about you all the time so…I think we’re even now.”

“Oh you have, haven’t you?”

“Oh yeah…many times! A bitch was bitter back then,” you laughed.

“I’d love to hear this!” He leans in excitedly.

“Hear what?”

“Tell me what you used to say about me.”

Chuckling, you eventually relent. “Hmm…okay, let’s see.” While you try to recall all of the angst that you used to spew at Hyejin, you are briefly distracted by his fingers, drumming lazily on the bar’s surface.

You blink away memories of his hands and other things that they were capable of. “Well, my biggest issue with you was that you had trouble letting go of the past.”

“Interesting,” he remarks.

“That, plus you were a pushover,” you added.

He doubles over in laughter. When he calms down, he says, “So…I get too hung on up on the past and I’m a pushover. That’s why you left me?”

You cock your head to the side and turn serious. “C’mon. You know exactly why I left you.”

Then…

You drive down Yoongi’s street to find a sleek SUV blocking his driveway. You didn’t recognize it but figured it may have been a client trying to meet with him to oversee their order’s progress. Not a huge deal, you thought. You parked a block away instead.

You walk through the door with a box of pastries that you picked up on the way from your place. Yoongi loved their almond croissants so you grabbed a couple extra as a treat.

You caught sight of him standing in the workshop, deep in conversation with some unseen guests who were obscured by the divider.

With a big smile, you walk toward him to greet him. He sees you out of the corner of his eyes and a look of panic mars his features. “YN…hey.” He was surprised to see you.

You turn your attention to the two other people in the room–Namjoon and an unknown female who was crouched down, closely inspecting the legs on these accent chairs that Yoongi had tirelessly worked on for weeks.

“Hey, YN,” Namjoon greets you, while you are yet to be acknowledged by this persnickety client dressed in a designer shift dress and equally expensive heels. Her hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail...not a strand out of place.

A chill ran down your spine, making you wrap your arms protectively around your chest.

“Why are the legs uneven?” Were the first words you hear out of her mouth. “And it looks like a few of them don’t even have any finishing coats yet.”

Her voice was small, but firm in tone. It sounded like the type that was used in professional settings or presentations. It was also the type that turned shrill when provoked.

She looks at Yoongi pointedly, awaiting his answer.

“Uh, by the way, this is Jiwon, my client. Jiwon, this is YN.”

You arched an eyebrow in realization. “Oh…hi there,” you say a little too loudly. You stuck your hand out to her, offering a handshake. Her eyes flicked down to your hand while her face remained stiff. There was a slight wince in her nose, as if she smelled something bad.

Before you withdraw your hand in embarrassment, she clasps her hand in yours to shake it gently. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m Yoongi’s girlfriend,” you add.

She smiles tightly and proceeds with her inspection on the products.

Namjoon stands there, breaking a sweat, seemingly stuck in limbo. The tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

“I brought some pastries, by the way. I got you your favorite, ja–” 

“That’s great. Uhm, could you just put in the kitchen? We’re a little busy here,” Yoongi says, while closely following Jiwon’s every move.

“Oh.” The shortness of his tone stung you, but you soldier on, marking your territory.

“Anyone want anything to drink? Coffee, maybe?”

“I-I’ll take one,” Namjoon says.

“What about you, Jiwon?”

“She doesn’t drink coffee,” Yoongi answers for her.

Jiwon turns her head toward you. "I'm good, thanks for the offer," she says, before continuing her inspection.

Your chest feels tight all of a sudden but you don’t make it obvious. Instead, you smile politely and leave them to do their business.

You move into the kitchen to set your box of pastries aside then set up the single-brew machine to make some coffee for Namjoon.

Distantly, you hear their conversation through the wall.

“I don’t know. I’m really disappointed in the quality. Even the upholstering is mediocre. They look and feel rushed." She narrows her eyes at him. "What’s going on?”

Yoongi nervously clears his throat. “Nothing. All that stuff's fixable,” he says evenly. "All I need is a couple more days to do it.”

“If I give you an extension, can you actually deliver on the quality this time?”

“Of course! You don’t need to worry about a thing,” he answers confidently.

“Alright," she says with a hint of reluctance. "How much time do you need? And is this going to cost me extra?”

“I’ll, uh…I’ll eat up the cost since it was an issue on my end. And regarding timing–”

“How are you gonna get this all done? Are you sure that you can do this?”

“Yes, I told you–there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll hire more guys and pay overtime. We’ll get this done for you.”

You notice how he doesn't mind calmly and patiently reassuring her multiple times, no matter how many times she asks the same question to him in different forms and verbiage. Meanwhile, he starts getting annoyed when you ask him what he wants for dinner multiple times, after deferring to you to decide.

She's seemingly satisfied with his affirmations, she relents. “Okay. I guess Namjoon and I can just circle back?” She turns to Namjoon, who nods in agreement.

All three of them walk toward the front door.

“Yeah, just call him. Or you can call me directly to follow up, too.” Yoongi offers.

“I’ll just reach out to both of you, I guess,” she answers dryly

You peek from the kitchen just in time to see her give Yoongi a lingering hug. “Thanks again, Yoongi. I really appreciate this.”

“Of course…anything for you, Jiwon.”

With that, your heart sinks to your stomach and you suddenly have the urge to vomit. You retreat into the bathroom and hurl but nothing comes out.

******

Later that evening, you were working late on the restaurant revamp contract. You had to place a call to your other supplier to make sure that their quote was still good since the client had asked for it to be adjusted, for the fifth time.

It was a good thing you’d work with this supplier for nearly a decade now. You pretty much had the owner on speed-dial.

Unfortunately, Yoongi was planning on pulling an all-nighter so he could finish one project to make fixes to the other project that he messed up.

“Jagiii!” You yell out from his bedroom, hoping he’d hear from all the loud banging he was making.

“Yeah?” he bellowed from his workshop.

“Could I just have five minutes for a phone call?”

“Can’t you just take your call outside?” He responds.

That was weird, you thought. You could, technically, take the call outside but you needed your laptop and documents in front of you in order to make changes in real-time. 

You walked out of the bedroom and into his workshop. “Please? It’s only for a few minutes. I just really need to sweet-talk this supplier so I can get this contract sealed.”

“No!" he bristles. "I’m so behind on this project already. Every minute counts!”

You scoffed. “Seriously? What’s five minutes? This project’s already delayed. Not to mention that your backlog is nuts–”

He looked up at you and snapped, “Exactly! Do you think my work is easy? Do you think any of this–” he waved his arm at the room, “...is easy?”

You chuckled at his abrupt change in tone. “What the hell crawled up your ass?”

He huffed out a breath. “I’m saying, that I hate how you think that I can just chill every time and pull me away from my work–”

“Woah-woah,” you stop him right then. “I never said anything like that. I’m literally asking for five minutes and you’re here getting your panties in a twist.”

He tosses the mallet and piece of metal sheeting haphazardly on his work table. He raked his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “See, this is why I can’t get this damned thing done–”

“You can’t or won’t?”

“What?” He asks, utterly confused.

“You can’t get it done or you don’t want to get it done because you want to delay it further? Because getting it done means the end of your contract with her.” You walk away from the workshop and into the living room.

“Are we really going to argue about this again?” He asks, still standing in his workshop.

“Yes!” You say loudly from the other room.

Seconds later, you see him round the corner and join you. “Why? Why do we need to argue about this? What’s the point?” 

You let out a sharp breath scowled at him. “I heard the way you talked to her! Going out of your way to pay your guys overtime, moving your whole schedule around to deliver her shit…and that goodbye hug?” You let out a pained, mocking laugh.

You held off for as long as you could but you were already deep into a jealous rage. The way he spoke so gently to her, trying to assure her that she didn’t need to stress off her order. Offering to cover the extra expenses, was too much.

“She’s a client and we just happen to have a history. So?”

His flippant comment further incensed you.

"That's the point! You have history!"

He groaned. “You're getting pissed at this? When it was pretty much the same situation from when we ran into your married guy.”

“My married g—" You scoff at him. "Now you’re turning this conversation about me? My past?”

“Well, yeah! You acted all weird when we saw what’s-his-face!” He retorts.

“Right, but in my case, that was the first time I’d seen him in a while. Have I seen him again since then? No. But you? You are working with Jiwon, day in and out!” You exclaim angrily.

“‘Call me directly…’” You say mockingly. “‘Anything for you...'”

“We have a professional relationship, okay? She is my client.”

“Couldn’t you get different clients? It’s not like you have a shortage in your backlog.” You countered.

“Jiwon has been my longtime client. I’ve made many connections because of her.”

You clenched your jaw and seethed.

“You go out to dinners and have drinks with your clients all the time! You come home late after partying all night,” he scolds.

“I am not partying!” You argue.

“Sure,” he says sarcastically.

“At least I was never engaged to any of my clients,” you countered bitterly.

He glared at you. “So she’s my ex-fiancee, big fucking deal! The operative term, being ‘ex,’ okay? What is your point here, exactly? Why are you getting all worked up about this?”

You stood up from the couch and angrily stomped toward him. “Because it hurts my feelings! And I can’t help but think that you still want her.”

“But I don’t! I love you!” He insists.

“Why do you love me?” You asked in a sudden, calmer tone.

“What?” He’s taken aback by how unreasonable and ridiculous you were sounding.

“I’m asking--Why. Do you. Love me.” You punctuate each phrase. “Why are you with me? Are you with me just to prove to yourself, or to her that you’ve moved on?”

“Why are you being like this? We’re arguing in circles here!” He yells out in frustration.

“Okay, fine. I’ll make it easier for you then. Let me ask you this–are you really over her? Because if you’re not…fuck…just tell me and we can put a stop to this craziness right now.”

“I’m with you, aren’t I? What else do you want from me?”

Heat prickled at your forehead and you start to taste bile in the back of your throat. What else do you want from me? Like he was doing you a fucking favor?

“What I really want to know from you is–why is it that my ex is a problem for you? So I ran into the guy. A guy whom I haven’t had any contact with at all since I ended things and still haven’t had contact after the fact? And yet, you expect me to be completely fine with you communicating regularly with your ex? ”

The silence is deafening as he’s despondent for a minute. At this point, the tears flow freely down your cheeks.

“Don’t you think there’s anything wrong with that?” You ask him pointedly.

“I don’t see it that way.”

It wasn’t the answer that you were expecting so you drive your point home. “And you wouldn’t consider breaking off a working relationship with your ex-fiancee even after I’ve told you that the amount of access that she has to you makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable?”

Yoongi shook his head slowly. “I just can’t drop a longtime client like that.”

“You mean you won’t drop her.”

“Please, just listen–”

“You know how I feel right now?” You interrupt him. “I feel like a shiny new thing that you’re just using to prove to yourself that you’re over her. It makes me feel like a piece of shit.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, a pained expression on his face. “You think I’m using you as a rebound? Is that it?”

“Aren’t I? Maybe you only liked me because I’m the complete opposite of her! You know, I’m loud, I like to go out…I drink…I’m fun…” You swipe at the tears that spilled out of your eyes. “I’m not the type you bring home to mom. Not the type you’d marry, right?”

“For fuck’s sake…can you stop thinking that everyone’s out to hurt you?”

“Do you really love me?” You ask him point blank.

He returns your gaze and held it there for a minute before answering. “Yes, of course I do.”

“More than you love her?”

He is dumbfounded by your question. It was unexpected but you needed to know…desperately. You needed to know to help put your fears aside. Unable to meet your gaze, he looks away.

His reticence told you that you were at an impasse. Locked in a stalemate, without any moves left.

Swallowing what felt like glass shards down your throat, you say, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You turn on your heel and walk off.

The next morning, you packed up your things and left.

Now…

“So who did you love more, me or Jiwon?”

Growing flustered by your invasive question, he panics. “What is this, an interrogation?”

“Oh, come on…” you say in jest. “We’re just two people having an open conversation here.”

“Are you serious?” He laughs, his gummy smile in full display. “So I really have to answer that?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding? It’s not like we have ties to each other anymore. We’ve had enough time apart, time to think things through.”

“Why do you need to know so badly?”

“Because! I feel like I’m entitled to that information,” you say in a light, joking tone. Then, you turn a bit more serious. “Also…we used to care about each other at one point in our lives. I feel that I’ve earned the right to ask.”

He shifts his weight between his feet, taking a sip of his drink–you hoped–would help give him the extra push to answer. Except, he doesn’t and instead grins shyly.

“Still no answer, Mr. Min? Alright, fine!” You raise your hands in defeat. “I’ll give you easier one.” You cleared your throat. “Are you still scared?”

He finds your question humorous. “Scared of what?” He clarifies.

“Repeating the whole process. To start from scratch again–the whole getting to know one another…falling in love…only to be faced with the possibility of it not working out. We talked about that a long time ago, remember?”

His face visibly relaxed. “I do…very clearly, in fact, now that you mention it.”

“And?”

He moistened his lips and stared straight at you. “The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over.”

You feel your throat tighten in an instant. Your mouth opens to suck in a sharp breath. “Damn.” You start to fan yourself…now you were all flustered.

He kept his eyes on you. They wordlessly profess everything he’s been feeling all those years that you spent apart.

“And I agree that you’re entitled to know that I loved you more.”

You were at a loss. All that pomp and confidence that you felt had shriveled up at his confession.

“Well, you asked. So there you go.”

You laughed. “I know…I deserved that,” you say uncomfortably.

Your speechlessness makes him smirk triumphantly, making you both chuckle and effectively breaking the tension.

From a distance, the music fades under the chatter while Namjoon’s voice booms through the microphone. “Good evening, everybody!”

You and Yoongi turn your attention to the middle of the room, where Namjoon stood along with Hyejin.

“I just wanted to thank you all for coming out tonight. I’m so happy that I have great friends and partners who are huge supporters of local art. We have so much talent here that we need to foster and grow. I’m glad that we have a space to promote this art so that other people can familarize themselves with it and appreciate it as well. I’d like to thank my friends who have enabled me and listen to me whine about this concept for years–it’s finally happening! And of course, my fiancee–Hyejin…baby, thank you for being patient with me and supporting my dream. I love you so much!” The crowd gushes as he pulls her in for a sweet kiss.

“And with that, let’s keep this party going, huh?” Namjoon hands the microphone back to the DJ and the music swells once more.

Yoongi turns to you suddenly. “Do you want to dance?”

You laugh, “Seriously?”

“Why not? It’s the least you can do for me after I bared my soul to you,” he says.

You roll your eyes playfully at him. “Alright! Just one song,” you say to him.

You both make your way to the makeshift dancefloor and start bobbing your head to the beat. You sway your hips to the music while you both sing along to a song familiar to both of you.

As the music plays on, the crowd gathers around you, pushing you closer together.

Although you are hyper-aware of his presence and proximity, you continue to dance to the beat. You vaguely feel his hand on the small of your back, in a sort of protective stance while the crowd closes in. At a certain point, your hips were nearly fused together, and your faces were mere inches away.

And there it was, that familiar scent of pine and citrus. The memories you had locked away years ago had resurfaced once more–coming at you in a flash while you stared into his eyes. You felt yourself fall deeper into them. The inches between you decreased…and soon enough, the tips of your noses brushed against each other.

Then, you unexpectedly jump, startled at the sound and feel of your phone blaring from your pocket. You fish it out to see the name ‘Wooyoung’ flashing on the screen.

You decline the call but send a text message, saying that it was a little loud and that you’d call back.

You back away from Yoongi, suddenly desperate to enforce some distance between you two lest you completely lose the last shred of self-control that you were clinging onto.

Once you were finally away from the crowd and into a more open, quiet space, you say to him apologetically, “I have to go.”

He pursed his lips as if trying to hold himself back from saying something. You stand there, waiting and wondering if he would change his mind and just come out with it.

After a few beats of silence, he forces his mouth into a smile, then nods. “Alright,” he says simply.

You blinked slowly. It was a pathetic effort at a reality check for you. He said the right words and gave you the absolute closure that you needed for your relationship. A small part of you wondered what would have happened if Wooyoung hadn’t tried to call you. Would you have gone in all the way to kiss him?

Sadly, it didn’t work out that way so you’ll never know. “It was good to see you.” Your smile didn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah…” he breathed out. “It was good to see you, too.”

“Well…I guess this is goodbye.”

You don’t wait for him to respond and instead, you turn on your heel and walk toward the exit. You tried to search around for Hyejin and Namjoon to say your ‘goodbyes’ but they looked like they were deep in conversation with another patron. You decide to shoot her a text when you got to your car instead.

Once you step out and the cool air hits you, you release one, big breath that you felt that you were onto for so long.

******

You sat alone in your car, contemplating the events that just unfolded minutes ago. You never thought you’d see him again–never. But, as fate would have it, your best friends managed to link up. How fucked up was that?

Your phone pinged, signaling a text. You lift the screen to your line of vision, seeing a name that was suddenly unfamiliar to you, with a text that said, ‘Headed to the restaurant now. Can’t wait to see you.’

You face falters at the promise. You sighed and leaned against your car’s headrest and closed your eyes.

What was he trying to pull back there? Making you yearn with all that talk about risking it all just to get a chance with you again. Who talks like that in real life?

Two knocks to your driver-side window startle you back into reality. You glanced over and see his cat-like features peeking through the glass.

You roll your window down and try to sound as casual as possible. “Hey! What’s up?”

He smiles shyly. “I…walked around the parking lot out back then down the block, hoping to still catch you.”

“Oh?” Your voice goes up slightly. “Haven’t had enough of me yet?” You tease him.

He chuckled at your cheekiness. “Yeah,” he sighed heavily, “I... didn’t like how we left things back there. You just ran off.”

You were incredulous. “Really? I thought we were good. I didn’t see anything wrong about the whole exchange. I said goodbye–”

“Yeah, exactly that,” he cuts you off. “You said ‘goodbye’.”

You chuckle awkwardly, confused by his remark. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say when you leave?”

“I know that but…I didn’t want you to leave.”

Your stomach does somersaults. You close your eyes for a second to internally smack yourself in an effort to keep it together. “Uhm…I…I don’t…I d–” You stutter.

“I didn’t want you leave.” He repeats firmly. “I can’t let you walk away from me again.”

“Y-Yoongi–”

“I fucked up. I should have gone after you that day.”

You feel your nose start to sting so you swallow thickly and grip your steering wheel tightly. Yes, you wished that he had called you or stopped you from leaving. But after enough time had past, you just thought that whatever he believed then was stronger than how he felt for you. Thinking about it more, you didn’t reach out to call him either to talk things through. At the end of the day, you just thought that it wasn’t meant to be.

“We weren’t good for each other then.”

“Because it wasn’t the right time for us then. We both had shit to work though–I know I did. And I realized that I’d rather do this with you than anybody else.”

You inhale sharply, trying to choke back the tears while hanging onto your last shred of self-preservation. “You hurt me,” you barely whisper.

At this point, he crouches by the driver-side door. “I know. And I’m truly sorry for what I did. I can’t change my actions or my words from that day and that’s something that I’ll never live down. But I promise to make it up to you this time…if you’ll let me.”

You rubbed your eyes in annoyance. You were incredibly frustrated with him and frustrated at the thought that was another man who was excitedly awaiting your arrival at a restaurant a few miles away. You even jokingly imposed a stupid 5-date rule before sleeping with him, but he respected your decision and you liked that about him.

Tonight was the fifth date. The night he was expected to seal the deal with you–and yet, here you were with your ex, seemingly at a stand-off.

You look straight into his eyes. “I don’t think it’s fair that you would back me into a corner like this. That’s just not–”

“I’m…I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to lose my chance again. For the longest time, I kept telling myself that if the opportunity presented itself, I would take it. And tonight…I…I just didn’t expect tonight to happen. And I know that you have plans but…I just knew that if I let this moment pass again, then I’m no better for it.”

You pursed your lips, unsure of what to say to him even though a thousand thoughts were running through your head.

“What do you want me to do? What are you asking from me?” It was all you could manage to cobble up. You were a mixture of confusion and irritation. You just wanted him to be straight with you.

“I want another chance. I want to give us another shot because…I still love you.”

At that point, his admission pushes your tears off the brim.

“Please don’t cry. I don’t mean to make you sad. I just wanted to tell you the truth. I’ve been miserable without you.”

You waited so long to hear him say those words. For a while, you agonized at the thought, wondering if he actually ever loved you. If you were even someone worth choosing.

“Why tell me now after all this time has passed?”

“I couldn’t love you as the old me then. The old me who let you down and made half-ass promises. I had to get myself together.”

“Oh, so now you’re ready?” You ask sarcastically, swiping at your cheeks.

He stares at you earnestly. “Yes,” he says firmly. “It took me some time to realize that I was being stubborn. I thought that I didn’t need to change anything because I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. And it took me that whole time to really get what you were trying to say to me….what you asked me to do for you.”

You let out a chuckle. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about that, too and realized that I was being unreasonable back then.”

“Maybe. But…the more I thought about it, I realized that you were asking me for assurance and I refused give it to you…when I really should have.”

“Look, I shouldn’t have questioned the way you ran your business,” you demurred. “I crossed a line—“

“But that wasn’t it, though,” He insists. “In reality, there was no other logical reason as to why I kept a longstanding contract with Jiwon. I was trying to torture myself because I believed that I could totally look past that history and keep it strictly professional.”

Years ago, you would have pointed and laughed at him, and done a victory lap on your vindication.

“I was completely delusional back then and I needed time to figure the rest of my shit out.”

“And have you?” You ask him.

“Yeah, I have…and I found out that I still very much have trouble letting go of the past,” he concluded wryly.

You both chuckle at his honesty. Minutes ago, you had your hand on the ignition, ready to leave him…again. 

“Yoongi…”

“I know, I know…I have the worst timing,” he says ironically.

It was the understatement of the century. When you walked out of your door earlier tonight, you had no idea that you’d run into Yoongi, much less receive a proposition from him.

You couldn’t argue against the fact that he hurt you badly last time. You wanted him to go after you when you walked out on him…But just the same, you had to work through your own issues, too. The time apart was necessary to do some growing.

Truth be told, you were perfectly fine at the start of the evening. You were having fun, taking trips down memory lane.

But there was always something about him. Something that no amount of time or distance would fully make you understand the hold that he had on you.

You had moved on from past lovers without incident. But you fell for Yoongi so deeply in the shortest amount of time. When it all ended, you wondered every now and then, whether the untapped potential of your relationship was what made that ache linger…or perhaps it was just him.

The tension is broken when your phone rings again. You glance at the screen and it was what-his-face’s name flashing.

You look up at Yoongi, whose face falters slightly but he relaxed his shoulders and stood up from his crouched position. He still bends down a little, leaning on the window frame.

“I know you have somewhere to be so…I guess I’ll just leave it at that. You can call me…or whatever. I just didn’t want to let this moment pass without getting that off my chest.”

You sighed heavily at the option he’s left you with. You glance at the missed call notification that flashed on your screen.

“Please get home safely, okay?” He taps his palm on the roof of your car softly and with a soft nod, he begins to walk back to the venue.

You were torn–torn by the sound of the unheard message alert that sat in your voice mailbox and Yoongi’s fading footfalls.

But deep down, you already knew what you wanted. Your mind and heart had already decided for you the second that you saw him from across the room this evening.

Now, all you had to do was propel your body to physically execute that decision.

You swipe at your phone screen to make the notification disappear then push your car door open.

“Yoongi, wait!”#

◤Part 1 | Main Fic Masterlist

You've reached the end, thank you for reading! If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn't like it so much, I would still like to hear about it💜

Tags: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy @yoongukie-ff @deepseavibez @miksancheese @shesoldbutcute @yu-justme @joonschocochip @starbtslove

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 12: Gas or Fail (SMUT)

*warning, warning, warning, actual, genuine spiciness and filth ahead - look out for the in-chapter warnings (it's not my best but this was just the beginning, so let's get started.)*

smut includes: (y/n) is muy horny, p in v sex, outdoor(?) sex (idk it's in a cave), dom! ray, sub (y/n), light fingering (just a smidge cos le smut is short), creampie. think that's it.

~In the Man Cave~

So, Captain Man had many traditions, some were cute, some were weird and some were just plain necessary. The time had rolled around once again where Ray made Schwoz test his superpower to make sure it hadn't deteriorated or weakened since the last time they tried it. And for years, the genius only had one superhero to work on as Ray was alone with his uniqueness, but now, he also had (y/n) and Henry to work on. All they had to do was wait for the kid to get to work after college.

"I'm actually pretty excited about it." (y/n) told her boyfriend, walking out from the back room where she had been feeding Colin as Schwoz set up all his equipment. The bunny had settled in nicely and she had to say, he was really part of the family, even if she did have to watch Schwoz like a hawk, making sure he wasn't experimenting on him. Anyway, each test would be similar, but for each person, he was going to have different results so he had to be prepared for that. Probably because Ray threatened him with unimaginable violence if something went wrong and his precious sweet girl got hurt.

"I don't you getting hurt." He murmured back, pressing his lips to her forehead as they sat on a chair in the main room, her perched on his lap. All the waiting was making Ray antsy, especially since the "pain machine" was in his line of sight; he just wanted to keep her protected, even if this whole charade was necessary and an important safety test.

"I'm Miss Danger, I don't get hurt." She reassured him and cupped his jaw so she could capture his mouth with hers. It was weird, normally he was the needy one, but on that particular day, he looked so damn fine, she just wanted to have him all to herself. Ray was more than happy to let her indulge in his bubblegum-mint taste and his hands clenched on her waist when her hips started undulating on their own. Geez, she really was needy.

The elevator dinged and in walked Henry, who shrugged off his bag and grimaced at the sight of Ray eating (y/n)'s face. Ugh, why did they have to do it where everyone could see? Noticing that his sidekick had arrived, the superhero broke the kiss so they could get this shit over and done with, but (y/n) wasn't quite ready to let go.

"Sweet girl...he's here." He chuckled when she clenched her fists tightly around the material of his zip-up hoodie and tried to keep the smooch going. God, he looked so good in it, she just wanted him to love her and she had to clench her thighs together to stop the ache in between them.

"Fine, let's do this thing." She grumbled, pulling away from him reluctantly and folding her arms with a pout on her face. Looks like she'd have to wait until later to get some action. 

"Aye-aye" Schwoz nodded and started powering up whatever he was going to use, but Henry needed to discuss something with them first and he'd say it was more important than the superpower thing.

"Uh, hey. Wait, guys, I didn't get any lunch at school, can we order some, like, Chinese food?" The boy asked the essential thing that had been praying on his mind all afternoon. If his stomach growling was anything to go by, he need some chow and he needed it soon. (y/n) hopped off her boyfriend's knee so he could change his shoes (why he needed to do that, she didn't know) and looked at Henry weirdly.

"What? Why Chinese food?" She asked, trying to shake off the fire pooling in her stomach and focus on what should've been a normal day. Stupid Ray and his stupid hot, sexy, handsome face and body.

"I want some of them, oh, whaddya call 'em? They're like Chinese dumplings?" Henry described, knowing exactly what he meant, but he couldn't quite get the name off the tip of his tongue. Luckily though, he was friends with Schwoz, he ordered Chinese way too often and knew the names of most things on every menu in town. Well, he did when it was described clearly.

"Oh, you mean wom-pons?" He asked, trying to think of the dish he was talking about. He knew what it was, but due to his thick accent, Schwoz mispronounced the name and like usual, Henry couldn't decipher it.

"Yeah...nooooo." He frowned, still not used to Schwoz and his weird way of speaking, despite him having worked as Kid Danger for over three years now. At least he had Ray, who had known the genius the longest and knew exactly what he was saying, well, most of the time.

"Won-tons, he means won-tons, not wom-pons." He stressed, quickly tying his shoelaces whilst (y/n) circled him so she could start rubbing his shoulders. He didn't know what her game was, but wow, her small hands felt like magic, even if they were feeling him up rather than massaging away his aches and pains.

"I did my best to say it right," Schwoz grumbled, kicking himself for screwing up his English again. He hated how complicated the language was and how he often made mistakes that he was teased for.

"Whatever, can we order some?" Henry asked his boss and put a supportive hand on Schwoz's shoulder. At least he tried his best.

"Not now, it's time for my bi-yearly quantitative physiological densitisation test." Ray put his hands on his hips, proud that he'd managed to say the complicated sentence with its multi-syllabic words all in one go. It made him feel so damn smart.

"I understood the word, test." Henry, on the other hand, wasn't so smart and picked up nothing apart from that Ray was doing something that sounded important. 

"It's a test to make sure that he's totally indestructible and no one can hurt him." (y/n) explained it in much simpler terms, wrapping her arms around Ray's waist so she could snuggle into his side. 

"Mmmmm, can we get some won-tons first? I'll order them, you two don't even have to stop being gross and all...huggy." Henry wrinkled his nose, gesturing to how the couple cuddled even when they were stood up. It was sickeningly cute and now a common occurrence in the Man Cave, not that it made it any easier to ignore.

"No, and we are not gross," Ray told him firmly, not seeing why he should let the kid order his food when he was mildly insulting him. He loved how snuggly and needy his girl was being today and he'd be damned if his sidekick got in the way of that.

"You'll understand when you're older and have a girlfriend." (y/n) bit her tongue as she smiled at Henry's overreaction. Yeah, he liked girls, but he didn't like them that much. Not yet, anyway.

"You see that machine over there?" Ray pointed to some weird launcher thing that Schwoz had primed and armed so it was now smoking from the back. Next to it was a smaller but still deadly laser cannon that was going to be used on (y/n), something she wasn't particularly looking forward to, but it was always cool to see how her body could heal itself.

"Yeah..." Henry nodded, wondering why there was so much machinery out for one superhero and his test. Little did he know...

"It's gonna shoot baseballs at ya." The young woman smirked, watching in amusement as the boy paled slightly. They wanted to do what to him?

"Bu--what? Why me?" He gasped, not realising that since he was now part of the superpower squad, he had to have all these regular checkups.

"Because! Because of your new superpower."Ray answered, making Henry throw his head back with a groan. He knew there had to be a catch, he just didn't know it would be so risky. "Yeah, you're hyper-mutilatiew..." Schwoz joined in, but his tongue just didn't want to work, so it came out all slurred and jumbled.

"Okay, it's hyper-motility." Henry enunciated, trying to give the small man an elocution lesson as Ray began stretching and warming up for his test. His muscles were flexing and tensing and when she got a small peek of the skin above his waistband, (y/n) nearly collapsed. If she could, she'd get on her knees in that very moment and show him how much she wanted to please him.

"Okay, okay, can we just move on?" She asked, needing to get her head in the game since she was about to be blasted with a powerful, skin-burning, hair-frying, utterly devasting beam that would kill a fully grown man. Not her though, of course.

"Schwoz, show him your bat," Ray ordered his handyman, also wanting to get on with the test since it was his chance to show off in front of his girlfriend. Yeah, she'd see how tough he was.

"His--his what?" Henry stuttered, praying that his boss wasn't euphemistically referring to something else. 

"You see...when you see the balls a-comin', you use this a-base-a-ball bat to swing-schvat the balls." He explained in his little Schwoz way and brought over a steel baseball bat for Henry. Thank god, it was a bat and not something awful like the boy had been fearing.

"Yep and then Schwoz is gonna measure the speed of the base-a-balls and then, after I get hit, I tell him when my pain stops and I feel okay." Ray finished, making sure to not pass up the opportunity of mocking the small guy. 

"And then, I will use my big brain and a mathematical equation to determine how indestructible Ray is." (y/n) smiled up at her boyfriend, fluttering her eyelashes like it would entice him to postpone the test for half an hour, just to quench her desires. Fat chance.

"...I just want, like, five won-tons," Henry whined, feeling like faint from low blood sugar or something. Food, that's all he wanted and after that, they could do whatever tests they liked.

"You can have some won-tons after we do this!" Ray snapped in an agitated tone. It would take like five minutes to do this; Henry could wait. "Right..."

"I'm gonna go stand here by the elevator. That's what I'm gonna do." The superhero said and swaggered over to the spot where he would be hit by the baseballs. Not wanting to be beaten up prematurely, (y/n) ducked behind the couch and awaited the beginning of the experiment with paper and pen. Schwoz was equally nervous; he put a large, clear cubic helmet onto his head and clipped it to his boiler suit. 

"What's that for?" Henry asked, sharing a confused look with Ray. Neither of them could see why being hit in the face with a rogue, flying ball would be a bad thing, mainly because when it happened to them, they always came out with no cuts or bruises.

"To protect a-my face from stray balls." He answered, his voice sounded filtered and robotic from the protective headgear. Whatever, they had to get on.

"Henry, take this base-a-ball bat..." Schwoz twisted the handle of the bat and pressed a button, making it illuminate like some kind of lightsaber shit, which thoroughly impressed Henry.

"Whoa, what kinda baseball bat is this?" He asked, twirling it around and admiring how it blurred into a whiz of white light. 

"It's thermal fusion bat I made myself." The genius said smugly, thinking he was oh so clever with his invention, but he was forgetting that he didn't work on it alone.

"Hey, I helped!" (y/n) called out from her hiding place, feeling irritated from his blatant dismissal of how she assisted in putting the damn thing together and from how Ray was blind to how much she wanted him. She should've dragged him back to bed when they woke that morning.

"You did the wiring." Schwoz scoffed, thinking that a little soldering and assembling was nothing compared to the science and schematics he studied. What a jumped-up, little asshole.

"All right, do it yourself next time, you dick." She muttered and flopped back onto her butt in a sulk.

"Can you make thermal fusion won-tons?" Henry asked, still having food on the brain. He couldn't swing on an empty stomach, but that was exactly what Ray planned on making him do.

"Come on, Henry, just get over there!" Ray instructed him and the kid sighed but did as he was told. He wheeled the chair from earlier out of the way and got into position. 

"Yah, yah, yah, here we go!" Schwoz squealed and ran back up to his controls so they could begin. "Okay, let's test one." He clapped his hands together and Ray prepared himself, shaking his body loose and clearing his mind. 

"Go for it." He growled, making (y/n) squirm as she peeped over the top of the sofa. That look in his eyes, the one he had when he was beyond determined, made her whimper.

"Ready, Henry?" Schwoz took one last chance to stop the machine, but the sidekick was also eager to do this thing. "Yeah, go."

Schwoz slammed his hand down on the release button and a baseball was fired from the cannon at a speed so fast, it could barely be seen by the naked eye. Henry's reflexes didn't care about that though, the boy whacked the ball as if it was going in slow motion and it pinged off his bat and hit the elevator so hard, it disintegrated the metal in a puff of smoke. Poor Ray, he didn't even get the chance to test out his superpower. 

"Hahahaha! Missed me, missed me, now you gotta ki---" Ray jeered at the boy, but it soon died when he realised that in these circumstances, he rather eat his own foot than kiss the boy. Ew, ew, ew, there was only one person he wanted to kiss and she thought his sudden shy attitude was so darn cute. 

"Now he gotta what?" She teased, loving how his cheeks were dusted pink and even Henry was amused by how he'd flustered himself. 

"Nothin', forget it." He rubbed his neck and avoided her playful gaze, which allowed her to check him out. From his floppy, brown hair to his slim waist that she knew was chiselled with pure muscle, she could hardly breathe when she analysed every part of him that she loved, which was everything that made up Ray Manchester. 

"No, no, no, now I gotta what?" It was Henry's turn to tease him, making his boss go all pouty and he scuffed his shoe against the tiles. "No, I changed my mind, okay? You don't gotta do anything." He squeaked quickly, his words jumbling together so fast that it was obvious that he was shy.

"Aw, you want to kissy, kissy, kissy." (y/n) pursed her lips together and giggled when he screwed his nose up at her silly voice. He did want to kissy, kissy, kissy, but with her only and it annoyed him when people mocked him otherwise.

"God, come on, Schwoz, if we're gonna do this, let's do it! God!" The sidekicks giggled and high-fived each other at how they made a grown man stamp his feet over something so silly. Okay, serious time, serious time.

"Okay, here we goes." Schwoz popped another ball into the machine and the young woman knelt behind the couch once again, ready to work out the math when Schwoz told her to.

"Oh, Ray, I gotta tell you somethin'." Henry suddenly remembered that he had something more critical than food to tell his boss, not that it was the best time to tell him.

"What?" Ray asked, just as Schwoz shouted for another ball being released. Even though he wasn't expecting it in the least, Henry reacted perfectly and whacked the ball like a pro. It ricocheted across the room and collided with Ray's jaw, sending him to the floor with a groan of pain. (y/n) winced at the velocity, but she needn't worry, the ever indestructible Captain Man sprung to his feet with a smirk.

"I'm okay!" He bragged, happily using his catchphrase since it made his girl breathe a sigh of relief. Aw, he liked it when she cared. 

"Two-hundred and four miles per hour, (y/n)," Schwoz reported as he read from his scanner and once she heard the figure, the woman began doing the long division, multiplication, subtraction and whatever else the equation called for. She liked math, not as much as mechanics, but then again, a lot of that boiled down to numbers and fractions.

"What did want to tell me?" Ray questioned, not once looking away from his girl as her tongue poked out in concentration. The sight of her moist lips entranced him and it was hard to pay attention to what the kid was saying.

"I can't make it to work tomorrow," Henry revealed, which captured his focus. He played a vital role in the Man Cave team and Ray didn't like the sound of being one sidekick down.

"What do you mean you can't make it to work tomorrow?!" He exclaimed, but the conversation would have to be put on hold as Schwoz sent the second ball through the machine. They needed an average, not just a one-off figure, so they'd have to do this a few times.

Henry hit the ball dead-on again, this time sending it into Ray's arm, which on any normal person, would break their arm clean through, but not with him. He fell again but quickly recovered.

"Still okay." He smirked, making eye contact with his girl when he caught her staring. What was with her today? She kept blushing and looking at him, not that he minded. It actually made him feel very cocky.

"Two-hundred and seventeen miles per hour," Schwoz announced, allowing (y/n) to move onto her second equation; the same process but with the new figure. 

"Tomorrow's Achievement Test Day at school," Henry told him, casually resting the bat on his shoulder, but unlike him, Ray was anything but calm at the news of this dumb school crap.

"Hey, you're my sidekick, that means tha--" Oh, poor Ray. The next ball came fast and furious, bouncing from Henry and landing square in his crotch, making everyone else wince at the sore impact. (y/n) was especially touched, since that was what she'd been after all day and their main chance of having children in the future.

"You guessed it; okay." He smirked, shaking off the excruciating agony to keep up his nonchalant manner. Yeah, (y/n) didn't have to worry, she'd get what she wanted, both promptly and distantly.

"Two-hundred and thirty-six miles per hour." The next result came in, each one increasing as Henry got into the swing of things. He should think about playing for Swellview High's baseball team if he could keep the game fair.

"Look, dude, it's not my fault, okay? If I leave school for any reason, I can get in huge trouble." Henry explained, not that Ray and his childishness could recognise how important this was to the boy. 

"Okay, fine, you baby. Take the day off, but it's comin' out of your vacation time." Ray conceded, confusing (y/n) and Henry, who had never taken a vacation day in the entire duration of their employment.

"We get vacation time?" (y/n) frowned, still counting herself amongst the workers since she received a paycheck every month, not that she counted this as work anymore. She deemed it "living with the hot boyfriend and occasionally kicking ass with him". 

"Uh, ah, eh--you...uh, you--you don't. I mean there's no state law that says you do, so y'know don't even check." Ray bit his lip, not wanting to admit that he lawfully owed his helpers time off, but he hated being without them since it made his life boring and/or dangerous. He liked having them around, not that he would ever be without his sweet girl.

"Wait, so are you saying that--" Henry was also confused, but Ray didn't want to talk about the awkward topic, so he yelled the release word and another ball was fired at the teen. He'd rather take another hit than admit his failings, but he wouldn't have to. Henry's aim was slightly off and this time, rather than hurting Ray, the ball smashed through Schwoz's useless helmet and smacked into his face. 

The three watched as the small man's eyes rolled back and he collapsed down the steps, completely wiped out. Oops, maybe he should've hidden behind a solid object like (y/n).

"He's probably all right." She shrugged, wandering over to his body with Henry and Ray. He was breathing, so she assumed that he wasn't going to die.

"Yeah..." Henry nodded, feeling a little guilty that he'd knocked the guy out when he was trying to help him. It wasn't his fault, not really.

"Get some won-tons?" The boy suggested, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but near Schwoz when he woke up with the mother of all headaches and no doubt the opinion that he was to blame.

"Yeah, sure, let's go." Ray quickly agreed and grabbed (y/n)'s hand so he could lead her to the supercomputer, where they could order some Chinese food. They'd order something for Schwoz too, of course, and hopefully, it would be enough to tame his inevitable anger.

~The next day~

So, (y/n) felt like she was burning up inside or dying. Yeah, dying sounded accurate. She had tried all day yesterday to try and seduce Ray into fucking her through his mattress, but no luck. 

When Schwoz had finished yelling at them and they'd eaten an entire Chinese buffet, including about a million won-tons, the superheroes had received call after call after call, forcing them to stay out until the early hours of the morning. Even when Henry had gone home early to sleep before his big test day thing, she still couldn't tempt him into her dark morality, nor could she when she wiggled her best assets or gazed at him with smouldering eyes. Ray was too tired by 2 AM, leaving her with no choice but to lay and listen to his heartbeat as he dozed off and she tried to keep the depths of her mind from stirring up all kinds of dreams that made her subtly grind up against him. 

The morning was no better, just when (y/n) thought that she might be able to pounce on Ray before he could leave the bed, Swellview's stupid emergency alarm started ringing, indicating that a major sitch was going down. Ray immediately sat up and flicked on the TV that was mounted on the wall, listening intently as Trent Overrunder described how a gas pipe had burst underground and was now leaking toxic fumes into the city. The cry from Mary for Swellview's greatest heroes to help forced Captain Man into action since he and his sidekicks were the only ones who were brave enough to go down into the Earth.

And so, (y/n) was dragged from the comfort of her soft sheets, made to put on the costume that hugged her in all the right places and sent off with Ray to clog up the leak. No matter how many times she tried to take a kiss further or subtly slide her hand down his stomach, he just pulled away and ranted about how innocent people were in danger, meaning the poor girl had to swallow down her desires and do as she was told. 

Now, getting to the burst pipe was quite tricky; they had to abseil down a narrow ravine, which was dug out in an old mine known for roof collapses and falling boulders. Yeah, it was pretty scary. It also didn't help that Schwoz had stupidly packed one rope, so Ray was currently descending the drop with his girl strapped to his chest and a song to pass the time.

"Captain Man, (y/n), beware! He's so attractive, you'll want to kiss his face...right on the mouth!" He sang pretty poorly, but she didn't care. Their noses were brushing against one another and his not-so-subtle way of asking her for a kiss reignited the fire that she had managed to contain on the drive to the old mineshaft. 

"Oh, my captain." She joked with a giggle and connected their lips in a hot kiss that made her melt against him as they swung a few metres off the ground. She was desperate to take it further and feel those lips move elsewhere, but then Ray remembered that they were down there for a reason and they had yet to make contact with home base.

"Schwoz, you there?" Ray said into his satellite phone, disconnecting their passionate tangle in favouring of ringing up his trusty assistant back in the Man Cave, even if he did crave more of her honey-like taste.

"Yah, what?" Schwoz's voice crackled over the poor signal, but it was understandable and a miracle that the phone was still receiving and transmitting so deep underground. 

"We're now two-hundred and fifty feet down in the nuclear gas shaft," Ray reported, but the small guy was taking advantage of the peace and quiet by watching one of his favourite TV shows, meaning he wasn't interested in what was happening to them. "Yeah, so?"

"Sooo, as soon as we can, we're gonna---ahhhh!" Oh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The superhero never got the chance to finish his sentence as a terrible combination of the old rope snapping and a shaft collapse coincided at exactly the wrong moment.

The couple fell a few feet to the murky floor, which wasn't a terrible drop considering that Ray's indestructible body took the brunt force of it so (y/n) would have a softer landing. He didn't want to see her hurt, even if she was nearly as powerful as him with her healing. The real problem came when rocks, planks of wood and other debris came dropping on top of them, forcing him to quickly roll her over so he could curl over her body and shelter her from whatever tumbled past their heads. The whimper from having the weight of him on top of her was mistaken by Ray as fear and he suddenly became hyperaware of what danger they were in. 

"Ray? Ray, what was the noises I just heard?" They heard Schwoz's concerned voice over the battered radio and Ray flopped to his girlfriend's side as they coughed and spluttered at the gas and dust that filled the air. (y/n) was fairly sure that she was littered with bruises and cuts, but trusted in her ability to clean them up in seconds.

"Ah, our stupid support beam broke." Ray grimaced, helping his girl to her feet whilst he looked up at the ravine they had just descended. God, the rope was shredded and the walls were sheer, unstable clay and rock, leaving them stranded in the festering pit.

"Can you get out?" Schwoz asked, suddenly disregarding his TV show as a calamity emerged. This was really fucking serious.

"No, the top of the shaft is mostly blocked off and the walls look like they could cave in at any moment." (y/n) butted in, leaning in close to the receiver as Ray curled an arm around her waist. He felt like she needed support in the tense moment, but little did he know, the small action made her use all her resilience to stop herself from jumping him.

"Oooh, that reminds me. This afternoon, I have my colonoscopy." They could hear his smile over the airwaves, drawing groans from the couple. He'd have to cancel it for the third time, they needed rescuing.

"Schwoz! We don't wanna hear about your body problems, all right? There's a lady present and we're trapped down here." Ray scolded him, making (y/n) smile at his protectiveness. She didn't care about what medical problems Schwoz have, but it was nice to know that he wanted to save what little innocence she had left. She was throwing it out the window if it meant she'd get to stop the thrumming pulse between her legs.

"Okay, you want me and to come and get you and your girlfriend?" Schwoz groaned at the prospect of having to move his butt, but it wasn't so simple. The way Ray and (y/n) had entered was utterly sealed off.

"You can't, what part of blocked off don't you understand?" (y/n) questioned sarcastically, starting to get irritated when she realised that they'd be down here for at least two hours, leaving her to die from being overly-horny.

"Okay, bye-bye." The genius took that as a sign that they'd be fine on their own, after all, they had craved it for so long before they had finally revealed their true feelings. 

"No, no, Schwoz! Now look, write this down..." Ray started, but Schwoz wasn't a fan of being patronised. He could remember this easily. "Okay...I need you to triple beep Henry. Get him out of the school. Tell him to pop a gumball...And then he's got to get the Tyson drill, come to the gas plant and then Henry needs to drop into the ventilator shaft, which is right next to us, drill through the wall and get us outta here." Ray gave his instructions clearly and succinctly with Schwoz repeating what he said every few seconds like he was paying attention. His show was much more entertaining.

"Got it," Schwoz confirmed, having written none of it down, but was confident that he had everything tucked away in his mind. Positively, his confidence was well-founded.

"Oh, and tell him to bring some of those won-tons." (y/n) added, guessing that if she was rather peckish now, she'd be ravenous by the time they were found. It was a small request, but a good one.

"Bring some wom-pons," Schwoz confirmed in his weird accent, playing on Ray's temper, which was irritated every time he said something incorrectly. It didn't help that he and his girl were trapped in a smelly hole either. "Won-tons!"

"Calm down, grumpy." (y/n) told him soothingly, wiping away the dust and grime that had settled on his jaw and cheeks. She overlooked the way his growling voice reverberated through her bones and settled in her core in favour of chasing away his anger.

"If you live in America, you should learn how to say won-tons." He huffed and pulled a laser from his pocket in an attempt to cut through the metal door of an old elevator. The orange beam illuminated the room and the two watched as it lightly scorched the metal, but stood no chance of melting it away. Whatever rust and gunk had solidified on it over the years was pretty tough and even if they did get through, there was always the chance that the elevator shaft was collapsed too. 

"Well, we could fix the gas leak." (y/n) suggested when that plan failed. If they died down here, at least they'd know that they'd done their duties and saved the good citizens of Swellview.

"Yeah, you're right, sweet girl. Come help me block it up with all these boulders." He mumbled and they started to shift the rocks around the room so they'd form a protective bubble around the crack. They had to improvise with the old wooden planks lying around, which they used as prop shafts to keep the whole thing in place and it was a damn laborious task. Hauling the rubble around was nothing for Ray and his bulging biceps, but (y/n) was daintier than him and lacked his super strength. She lugged the final boulder into place with a heaving, panting groan, which prompted Ray to wrap himself around her so his hands could help to manoeuvre the boulder too.

*MATURE - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*

"Last one, sweet girl, and this leak is plugged." He whispered into her ear, making her very aware of how he was curled over her with his lips centimetres away from the sweet spot under her ear. Was he doing this on purpose?

"Ray..." She couldn't help but moan out when his hips slotted against hers, making her grind backwards so her scorching heat would find some relief against the rough material of his pants.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked, taken aback by her whiny tone, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to do anything about it. Far from it.

"Been needing you since yesterday. Won't let me have you." She whispered, screwing her eyes shut when the hand that wasn't preoccupied with keeping her tight against his chest slid from the boulder to her knee and then under her red, satin skirt. His fingertips stopped short of where she desperately needed them and he cruelly stroked the flesh of her thigh until she told him what he wanted to hear.

"Use your words, sweet girl." He growled, nipping at her earlobe, which tore a sharp gasp from her throat and she wasn't sure that she would be able to speak when the tip of his thumb brushed ever so slightly against her throbbing clit through her matching, red, satin safety-shorts and her panties. She jumped under the minuscule touch and whined when she felt the smirk against her neck.

"Tell me or I'll assume you don't want anything and I'll leave you alone." He threatened her darkly, feeling his own need growing by the second, but he lived for seeing her like this since he'd dreamt of it for so long.

"No...no....please, fuck me." She squeaked when his teeth sank into the tender skin of her neck and he relented on his teasing. Expert fingers stroked through her dripping folds, making her cry out when they glided from her clit so he could slip a finger inside her.

"Fuck, so tight...so wet, you needy little thing." He growled into her ear and she was eternally grateful for the arm holding her tightly to his chest as she was sure that without it, his touch would make her knees give out. 

"Shit, Ray...please, need you." (y/n) whined again when another finger joined the other, both of them working against her drenched walls as he angled his thumb to rub circles on her clit. He watched every facial expression, every moan that fell from her lips and decided that he wanted to hear and see more. 

"Fuck, stand up." He panted, feeling her needily roll her hips against his straining cock to stop him from moving away. The iron grip that yanked her upwards told her that he didn't like her disobedience, but she couldn't help but desperately clench around nothing when he left her core to throb.

"No, no, no. Fuckin' need you." She panted, clawing at his chest when he spun her around and picked her up by the thighs so her legs would wrap around his waist. She wanted the damn suit off but since they were technically still on a mission, it was too dangerous. Perhaps that was what she liked, the thrill of the adventure that shot straight to her pussy.

"Shit--why'd you have to do this to me now? Couldn't fucking wait, could you?" He nearly spat when her head falls to the crook of his neck and her tongue dashes out to run a stripe down the side of it. His hands squeezed her thighs hard enough to leave a mark that would fade instantly as he felt her blazing heat press against his throbbing length and a war waged in his mind; take what he wanted in this godforsaken mineshaft or be cruel and leave her and himself to wait for rescue, whenever that came. Seeing his internal battle, (y/n) decided that she'd help nudge his mind to the immoral side she was craving and tangled her fingers in his hair so she whisper into his ear.

"I'm sorry, captain. I've just been thinking about you and your fucking huge cock since yesterday, wanted you to fuck me so hard last night, but you wouldn't." She smirked when he released a tortured, strangled moan and he decided that even if he could convince her to wait for another two hours, he'd couldn't, not when he knew of the slickness between her thighs.

"Shit--you need to shut up. You need to be quiet, right now." He stressed, craning his head down so he could bite and suck at the flesh through the material at the top of her breasts. He wouldn't be able to release them from her bodice and it was another small form of torture that drove him wild.

"Could've touched me in the Man Van or anything." She whispered, throwing her head back and saying whatever came to mind as his lips roamed her collarbone and smooth skin. Feeling him bite at whatever he could reach gave her the biggest confidence boost; here was this all-powerful superhero that resisted even the wickedest of torture from his enemies, but with a kiss and a soft touch from her and he melted. Strong steel that bent for only her touch. "I would've let you, you can do anything to me and I won't mind."

"Shit," A snarl tore from his lips and his hips jerked upwards unintentionally at the idea. She knew what she was doing and loved to see his reaction. It was the truth, she'd take anything he'd give her and love it, mostly because it was exactly what she needed to stop burning. "Shit--I...shut up or I won't last, sweet girl." He grumbled, hands now squeezing her thighs so tightly, it was starting to hurt.

"Then fuck me and it won't matter. Want you to spill in me, so fucking deep." She purred into his ear, causing him to stride over to a particularly large rock that would do for her to bend over. Getting the hint, she wiggled out of his hold and wobbly stood on two legs before her hips were seized and she was folded over the rock so her elbows were holding up her body and he could flick her skirt over her ass.

"If you're so desperate, then keep those hands there and let me give you what I think you deserve." He grumbled and pulled her shorts and underwear over the smooth curve of her ass so he could see her glistening slit. She heard the sound of his zipper being pulled down and shivered when he bent over her so his back was flush against hers.

"Come on, you want it. Beg." Ray ordered, curling an arm under her body so two fingers could rest on her throbbing clit, but he wouldn't move, not even when his cock twitched as it brushed through her folds.

"Please, I've been good, I waited. Please, just fuck me...Captain." She whimpered, feeling how he was deliberately running the bulbous head against her folds to drive her insane. It was sneaky and his way of drawing those sounds from her lips, but the way she said his damn title, it was too much for him.

"F-fucking perfect little g-girl." He groaned and slowly sunk into her dripping entrance, making her fingers grasp the edge of the boulder as her insides tightened around him like a vice. Fucking finally, she had him and it seemed like he was just as desperate to move. His teeth sank into her shoulder, just as he pulled his hips back, only to slam them back against her ass with a harsh thrust. Even if he was reluctant to fuck down in the shaft at first, she could tell he loved it now. He loved the way her back was arching into him, he loved the way her pussy gushed when he breathed into her neck, he loved how the skin was stretched so tightly across her knuckles, it was turning white. 

"Fuck, f-fuck, is this what you n-needed, sweet girl? Just a little attention and my cock deep in your f-fucking soaked pussy? Hmm? Come on, you dirty little thing, tell me." He growled, creating a rhythm that was soul-shattering. It really shouldn't have felt that good, not when they were two-hundred and fifty feet under the Earth and possibly on the brink of death. His cock pushed against that spot inside her that made her see stars and a wildfire spread through her belly and down her thighs. Fuck, he knew how to ruin her, so when the fingers waiting on her clit started to jerk wildly, it came as no surprise. 

"Ray---Ray, shit, I'm almost there." (y/n) cried, feeling the heat sear through her muscles and her hips began to rock backwards to meet his wild thrusts. So nearly there, just a little more...

"Fuck, come on, sweet girl, give it to me." He panted and choked when she gripped his entire length so fucking tight that he had to still his movements to catch his breath. Her body went limp as he carried her through the waves of pleasure, the pressure on her clit never stopping, even when she was left jelly-like and sensitive. 

"Ray..." She moaned, trying to jutter her hips away from him, but a strong arm was crossed against her chest and she was pulled back and up to her feet, where he could trap her in his hold and make her take anything he wanted to do to her.

"One more, I want to see you cum one more time." He ordered, resuming the snap of his pelvis against her ass and he had access to her throat when her head fell back against his shoulder. He jackhammered into her, drawing his name from her like a prayer, one hand fondling her satin-covered breast and keeping her tightly against him as the other kept circling her clit. It was so damn debilitating, all of her sanity was wrung out of her body as she hurtled towards another release,  him hard and throbbing deep inside her as he chased his end too.

"If you want me to fuck you wherever the fuck I like, then I will. Show all those fuckers that want to flirt with you that you're mine." God, she could barely hear him over her endless moans, wails, and whimpers, but she did and it stole her breath away. She could listen to him all day, how he didn't want anyone else to fuck her the way he did, to know her the way he did, to love her the way he did.

"Fuck---'M yours, always. No one else's, just want you." She promised, clutching at the hand on her chest so he could feel the thundering of her heart.

"Yeah, that's right, no one else will never know how you taste or feel, all fucking mine, my sweet fucking girl." His eyes squeezed shut as his heart swelled at the sentiment. The words he'd waited years to hear, the feeling he'd only dreamed of ever experiencing, the girl he could never have imagined would let him do such terrible things to her in the dark, she was his.

"God, gonna cum again, Ray...shit." (y/n) whispered, her voice high-pitched and breathless as she felt the knot in her stomach tighten, making her claw at the arm on her chest. Ray felt her quivering walls around him and knew that her release was seconds away, causing him to speed up his thrusts until they were sloppy and without rhythm, but also brutally fast. He crushed her to his chest as he felt his own end approaching, but he wanted to feel her collapse first.

"Yes, fuck--yes, wanna feel it. Let me feel this fucking wet pussy cum around me again, little girl, Fuck, so sweet for me." He goes on, chasing her towards and over the cliff with his filthy words and suddenly, the cavern went fuzzy and dark as the blood rushed through her ears, her walls gripping around him for him to follow her. 

His hips don't stop, even when she's left boneless and he's the only thing keeping her up straight. All that left her lips was garbled "Iloveyou-Iloveyou-Ilove--", but it spurred him on, knowing that he was the only one who got to see how fucking beautiful and perfect she was in a post-orgasmic haze.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum, sweet girl." Ray moaned and gasped as the feeling crept up his spine and he daren't stop, not for anything. (y/n) could feel him hot and swollen, moving faster and faster and she knew that there was nothing she wanted more.

"Please, give it to me, fucking want your cum inside me." She moaned, feeling her walls flutter again at the impropriety of it, but she didn't care. She wanted to feel him leaking out of her all day, leaving her ready for later tonight when they'd inevitably go again because they couldn't get enough of each other.

"My girl, so fucking pretty, letting me fuck her so good, shit--I--I love you...so much." He choked, hoarse and deep as his hips faltered and he spilt deep inside her, drying up his words and leaving nothing but pure love for her on his mind. He pants in ragged breaths and his tight hold on her relents, allowing them to drop to the boulder to rest.

"I love you too...always." She giggled, turning in his arms so they could stand properly and she could give him a sweet, gentle kiss, nothing like the intense, wild sex they just experienced. His hands dropped down to pull her panties and shorts up over her ass again, making her blush when he squeezed her asscheek with a large palm. He'd be fucking half-hard all evening knowing his cum was slowly dripping through her folds, but it just left him all the more eager for when they returned home.

~Thirty minutes later~

*NOT MATURE (sorry for the filth)*

Well, after their heart rates had settled down and they giggled from the absurdity of it all, Ray plonked down on a small boulder and invited his cute girl onto his thigh. It was then that she realised how truly filthy they both were and made a mental note that it would have to be shower sex first and then whatever else later once they returned to the Man Cave.

To fight off the boredom, Ray had whipped out his little tablet and entertained them by playing one of the latest mobile games from the PearStore. His arms encompassed her waist and she laughed at his excitable enthusiasm for winning the game. He was such a child deep down.

"My God, this game's entertaining." He commented, pressing a kiss into her hair as he flicked his thumb over the control. She adjusted her position and leaned back into his chest, content to just lie back and rest after being drained of all her energy. Still, even if she was happy, he was getting antsy again; sure, he loved having the time to plough into her savagely, but he couldn't help but wonder when help was arriving. They'd been sitting doing nothing for half an hour, plus another half for when they were preoccupied, seriously, where was Henry? 

"Hey, Schwoz?" He picked up the radio and tried to call the lazy guy, who had managed to track down Henry at his school, sneak him out of class and send him to the mineshaft all with Miss Shapen noticing or his help. He much preferred to kick back and relax in an empty hideout.

"Go for Schwoz." He replied, mainly focused on what was happening on the screen in front of him since it was a lot funnier than Ray when he was looking for a round two.

"What's going on man? We sealed the gas leak, we've been stuck down here for over an hour now." Ray complained, (y/n) slipping off his knee so he could pace around the cave in frustration. She had to admit that being trapped was annoying, if slightly perilous, but she was feeling so much better than when she first entered, that she didn't really want to complain.

"Henry didn't get there yet?" Schwoz questioned, sitting up in his seat as he heard the troubling news. Huh, he would've thought that the kid would have been tunnelling them out of the mineshaft around about now, so it was worrying to hear that he hadn't even reached them.

"No, he didn't get here yet. Why would I be calling you if he didn't get here---ahhh!" Ray's harsh tone was interrupted as he was shoved forward by a giant drill bit smashing through the stone wall that he was resting on. He fell to the ground, making (y/n) dash over to him to help him up, even though Captain Man was always okay. So, that was where Henry got to.

"Ray? (y/n)? You in here?" The boy poked his head through the hole he made and peered through the darkness. Shit, he couldn't see anything, especially since his boss and his girlfriend were crouched down.

"Schwoz, we'll call you back." (y/n) said into the phone as she plucked it from the floor, snapping it shut before he could respond. She offered a dainty hand for Ray to take and he accepted it greatly so she could help him stand. Kind, sweet girl...

"Oh, hey. How you doin'?" Henry greeted them warmly, not seeing how irritated his boss was from being stuck in a hole with no feather mattresses in sight. He had a king-size one at home, the place he was desperate to return to after such a long day.

"Pretty good for a guy who just had a Tyson drill shoved in his back." The large man grumbled, rubbing at the spot where he was jabbed, not that it hurt anymore. He just wanted some fawning from his favourite girl.

"Aw, my poor baby." She cooed and cupped his face so she could caress his lips with hers. He was so brave, protecting her from the fall, helping her out in a way that only he knew, loving her always.

"Oh, god, stop. He's indestructible!" Henry groaned at their mushiness, screwing up his face in disgust. Honestly, they were the worst, always kissing, always snuggling, always doing things that he'd rather not have to look at. Geez, they'd had an hour to themselves, wasn't that enough?

"I'm still a person, with feelings," Ray replied curtly, briefly pulling away from the kiss so he could send Henry a scathing look. He ran his hands absentmindedly up and down (y/n)'s waist, loving it when his touch made her press against him even more.

"You can say that again." She purred, smirking and biting her lip when his ears and cheeks burned red and Henry audibly gagged and pretended to barf. Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross...

"Ugh, can we get going?! 'Cause I don't want to hear or see this and I really need to get back to school." He grumbled, making the young step back from her boyfriend since she knew that there was a better place and time. Namely, their shower and in about twenty minutes if all went to plan.

"All right, cranky-pants, we're coming. Pull me through." She told the boy, poking out her tongue at him after he mocked how much she loved her boyfriend and all the things he did to her. She offered the boy her hands and Ray lifted her waist so she was able to slide through the hole and into the digger, but not before Ray subtly pinched her ass and caught sight of her sticky thighs. Jesus, get him home, now.

"Me next." He said and gave Henry his hands just like (y/n) did and his sidekicks yanked him as hard as they could. Trouble was, it was incredibly difficult for a young boy and a small woman to take the weight of six-foot of pure, rock-hard, super-dense muscle. That, and his utility belt kept catching on the lip of the rock, making him whine as they struggled to get him moving. 

"Whoa! Whoa! Ray, have you gained some weight?" Henry asked, swearing that his boss never felt this heavy when they trained together and he had to flip Ray over his back. He had to lay off the won-tons.

"Hey, are you calling my boyfriend fat? Pull harder on your side!" (y/n) scolded the boy indignantly, feeling extremely protective over Ray and how he looked. He was goofy, silly, loveable and sexy and she was certain that if he had gained weight, it was muscle mass, not that it would make her love him even less.

"I think you gained weight." Henry disparaged, sneakily using Ray's famous temper to get him to wriggle through the gap even further. Ray would surely try to strangle him once he was in the digger, but at least they would have gotten him there.

"You take that back! I eat less than two thousand calories a day!" The superhero snapped, kicking his legs out like he was swimming in hopes of making it through. Being stuck so foolishly did make him feel a little chubby and Henry's goading wasn't helping. "Just suck it in!"

"Piss off, Henry!" (y/n) snapped, grabbing Ray's elbow and putting her heeled boot on the wall so she could it as leverage.

"God, this is so embarrassing," Ray grumbled, trying to his hips past the halfway mark, but they wouldn't budge. He just needed some encouragement, not putting down.

"Make it through and I'll give you a kiss, captain." (y/n) lowered her lips to his ear and instantly, he was forcibly jumping forward like a worm and with another harsh pull, he slid forward, landing in a heap in the ventilator shaft, on top of Henry as it were. 

"Oh, that hurt so bad." He grumbled, feeling his arms hurt as Ray pressed on them to get up. Why was he always the one took the bruises and pain? 

"Karma's a bitch." (y/n) deadpanned, pulling her boyfriend to her body to give him what he'd promised her.

~Swellview High~

So, they'd made it to Henry's school and things were all set for him to sneak back into class, disable this weird hologram of him that Schwoz had used to dupe the teacher and hand in his test like nothing had happened. There was a. catch though, of course, there was.

Sharona Shapen, the weirdest teacher in the school and the most desperate for the large cash bonus the good grades were gonna get her, was still prowling around the classroom and had caught onto fake Henry sitting and scribbling on his paper without listening. Time was up and every other kid had handed in their test paper (fully copied from Charlotte since she was a genius and Miss Shapen was turning a blind eye), meaning that hologram Henry sitting there blankly was starting to look real weird.

"You guys! You need to do something about Henry and Miss Shapen!" Charlotte hissed to Ray and (y/n), both of whom were still in uniform, plus Henry who was casually strolling through the halls like nothing was wrong. Thank god most of the kids had gone home by now or were still stuck in a late class, otherwise, their stealthiness would be in vain. 

"How? We need to get in there and distract her so I can turn off the hologram." Henry panicked, peering through the glass panel in the door and seeing how close his teacher was to sticking her fingers through his face and revealing the secret. 

"It has to be big! And something that will completely ruin her mind!" Jasper noted, trying to come up with everything Sharona Shapen liked, which stretched to cats and her freakishly large toe.

"Chicken?" Ray suggested, recalling that poor bird she'd annihilated on Valentine's Day when he'd been forced onto a date with her. Maybe he could dangle a chicken wing in front of her face and lure her away just enough for them to pull it off.

"Dude, where are we gonna get a chicken from?" Henry asked rhetorically, making Ray pipe down. Okay, chicken and any other food was a no-go, so what else did Miss Shapen dream of at night?

"Kiss her." (y/n) suddenly said in a grim voice, her eyes closed as she accepted that it was what they were gonna have to do. She idolised her boyfriend and fancied just as much as all the other women in Swellview did, meaning that a smooch from him would probably make her pass out long enough for them to swipe the hologram and test.

"What?" Ray, Henry, Charlotte and Jasper gasped and looked at her like she was crazy. First of all, that was their teacher, second of all, it wasn't just any teacher, it was Miss Shapen, third of all, Ray would never betray her like that, fourth of all, he repulsed the woman and so on and so on. There were a million reasons why that was crazy talk, but (y/n) just calmly breathed in and out.

"Look, a kiss from Captain Man will wipe her mind blank, meaning Henry can hand in his test with no problems." She explained, resting her hands on Ray's chest as his eyes bore into hers. Kiss someone else? He'd rather die, no one else would compare, especially not that old hag.

"Sweet girl, I can't kiss another woman, we'll think of something else. I love you and only you." He murmured, wrapping his hands around her wrists so he could bring one to his lips and kiss her gently thrumming pulse point. There had to be another way, one that didn't involve him breaking his endless faith and fidelity to her. He wasn't that guy anymore, he'd found his one and he didn't need nor want a bit of something on the side, she was everything he had ever dreamed of having.

"I know you do, but..." She started, sighing when she didn't know how to word it. She hated the idea of him kissing someone else, she loathed it even if it wasn't real and with Sharona, but she could overlook it just once if it was for an exceptionally good reason. "Look, I'm giving you permission this one time to march in there, look at her like you look at me and kiss her like you you mean it, so we can save Henry's butt." She said, giving him her sincerest gaze.

"How am I supposed to kiss her like she's you when she's not you? It's Miss Shapen, for god's sake." He groaned, pouting slightly at the idea of having to put his mouth on hers and pretend he was tasting honey. 

"Just imagine it. And when we get home..." She gestured for the kids to plug their ears and she leaned up to whisper against his neck. "You can fuck me again and again until I can't walk." 

"Fine." He agreed through gritted teeth and kissed his cheek in thanks. He fucking loved the sound of that and if he had to kiss that in the classroom to earn it, he would. 

"Kid, get ready to sneak in. I've got a Miss Shapen to kiss." He growled dramatically, tensing up his body like a true superhero. Henry nodded in understanding and stood next to the door so he could hear and look out for his cue. 

"Henry!!!" They could hear the teacher scream at the hologram inside and they knew that they had to act quickly.

Taking a deep breath and giving (y/n) one final peck, Ray yanked open the classroom door and boldly stood in the gap so she could admire his sudden entrance with awe. 'Just pretend she's (y/n), just pretend she's (y/n)' was all that was running through his mind.

"You." He greeted her in a tone that left his girl weak at the knees and if he squinted very hard and used the best of his imagination, she almost looked like (y/n). Almost.

"Captain Man!" She gasped at his sudden appearance. Oh my, he looked so handsome, better than she could ever have imagined and she was certain that this was a dream. The hero stormed over to her with a "hungry" look in his eyes, making her go breathless and weak at the knee. Sweet cheese, this wasn't happening; Captain Man seized Miss Shapen and dipped her in his embrace, leaning over her with a nauseous expression that he masked well. He just had to think of tonight and how his real love would be screaming his name.

"Do you consent to this kiss?" He asked in a tight, reluctant voice and cursed inwardly when her smile grew ten-fold. Well, that was a stupid question, of course, she wanted to snog Swellview's greatest hero.

"Sure, you want it in writing?" She joked, her eyes widening when he took the plunge and pressed his lips against hers. Dear, sweet lord, this was genuinely going to make him vomit. He'd kissed many people in his life and none of them but one truly gave him butterflies. Sharona Shapen was not that one; she killed the butterflies, burnt them, stamped on them, tore them apart. Her hands were roaming his back wildly and (y/n) looked in to see the abhorrent sight. 

"Go before I puke." She told Henry and the boy quietly tiptoed into the room. He too was disgusted by the sight of Ray kissing his teacher, mainly because she was a terrible kisser and not the one he'd fought so hard to set him up with. Ray kissing anyone but (y/n) would always look wrong, those two were made for each other.

He disabled the hologram, chucked it into his backpack and slid onto his chair, resuming the same position that it had been portraying; a pencil in his hand and a calm look on his face. Dear god, Miss Shapen giggling into the kiss was going to haunt his nightmares for weeks to come.

Okay, good. Henry was here, he was in the right place and just in the nick of time, which meant that for Ray, his work was over.

"Wait. Wrong woman." He said, suddenly pulling back and dropping Miss Shapen on the floor. His mouth tasted revolting and he made a quick exit for the door before she could claw him back for more.

"Let's get out of here." He mumbled, grabbing (y/n)'s wrist and pulling her through the halls rapidly. Charlotte and Jasper had already left and Henry could sort himself out, he just needed to leave and get home. 

"You're so brushing your teeth before you can kiss me again. I don't want to taste Sharona too." She chuckled, waggling her finger at him as his eyes darkened at the thought of kissing her. The right person.

"And then I get to fuck you?" He asked with hopeful eyes, glancing across to see her smirk and run her fingers through her hair like the seductive vixen she was.

"Until I can't walk." She promised, giggling when his legs started to work faster until they were practically running through the empty school corridors. Well, all's well that ends well, Henry had handed his test in without a hitch, Miss Shapen got to experience what a real relationship looked like and boy, Ray couldn't wait to get home.

[bokettochild]

Hi! First off, I sent some ramblings before, and I feel safe here to share my thoughts! Your blog is amazing, to start.

Okay, so I can't read your opera house AU, though I bet it is amazing. I just don't have AO3, and when I look it up, I can't find it, so that's fine! I read your thing where it described who each LU character was in your opera house AU, and I love how Legend is a jack of all trades.

(I think it's a jack of all trades. It might be a jock of all trades.🤷‍♀️)

I feel legend, is kinda of self-conscious about his voice and thinks he isn't good enough to be on stage. That's why he mostly stays backstage and fixes things for last minute, and lets Fable take the stage.

I feel like even though Legend has been there for...like all of his life, when he saw Dusk, Artemis, and Warriors, he kind of shrunk in on his talent, seeing how they were literally crowd-pleasers. Everyone loves them; the crowds go wild when they see them on stage.

I feel like this happened once when everyone went out to get something for the play they were doing. He went on stage and just sang a hard song that not even Artemis or Warriors could do, but he nailed it.

I also feel like he would act like Jeremy Jordan. Jeremy Jordan.

Jeremy Jordan Did Bonnie and Clyde the musical and the scene raise a little hell The song, the first one he does, this great acting where he acts like he got beaten horribly, he is terrified. I describe it badly, but if you look it up if you want, I feel like that's how legend would act. He would put his heart and soul into his acting.

I feel like the warriors accidentally bullied the legend once because of something that made him shrink in on himself more when it came to stage time.

Anyways I love your blog!

I'm sorry to hear that! I have most of my fics blocked so non-users can't see them, mostly due to the rise in bots on Ao3 scraping for works and stealing our creations. If you'd like though, I can post them here as well! I used to cross-post a lot of stuff, but I stopped when I realized I could never find the fics again after LOL

And yes! Legend is the jack-of-all-trades at the Crown City opera! He grew up in the opera house (Twilight, his uncle, has been a stage-hand there since he was a baby) so he's been able to learn first hand from masters of the trade how to do basically everything there is to know! He's not as good with paperwork and the advertising aspect, as most of that sort of thing is done by Lullaby and Dot, but he's got the bare-bones knowledge (there's a rumor that Lullaby made sure he knew because she intends to leave the opera to him one day, but it's just a rumor).

I don't know if Legend is so self-conscious about his voice, but he's definitely not aware of how good he is. Like I said; he grew up learning from the best, and a lot of the crew and cast found it fun to show him how to do stuff in their down time, so he's probably got a better education in music than anyone else in the building. However, because he doesn't take acting as his main role and mostly helps in the back, he's sort of fallen into the belief that he's only maybe slightly better than average. Is he? Heck no! He could probably give the divas a nice run for their money if he was trying hard enough! However, while he most certainly has given his all to every role (he really does love acting) he still maintains that he's an "average nobody" who fills in on occasion when someone calls out sick, or plays the lesser roles when they're short on cast.

The opera knows he's good, Lullaby knows he's good, and gosh do their audiences know he's good! but because Legend is under the impression that he's average, he doesn't seek more time in the spotlight. Additionally, since Lullaby knows he loves what he is doing (he very much enjoys his prop work and set creation and costuming opportunities, don't let the grumbling fool you), she doesn't see a reason to call on him excessively if that's not what he wants. After all, he wasn't hired to be part of the cast (although whether he was actually officially hired at all is unknown, although he's paid very well).

I will say he does compare his skill to the divas, but sort of in a casual way when he's talking to Hyrule and the rest of his team. Sort of in the whole manner of: "I'm not like Dusk or anything, there's a reason you don't see my face on the billboards". I will say he's probably compared himself a lot to them in this manner though and convinced himself that he's not that great in comparison, but he's chill with it because obviously he can't be good at everything, and he's good at his job, so that's what matters.

His biggest point when people bring up his skill is always that there's a reason the divas' names are well known and he's just crew. What he doesn't know is that he very much has a near cult following and there are theories online. He's not very present on social media or anything, but their audiences know there is this one actor/actress who appears sometimes to fill roles or to cover when the headliners can't be there. Nobody knows what said actor/actress's name is, and they actually aren't even sure what gender he is, they just know said person has a lot of skill and they wish he'd show up more!

Lullaby is aware of this, but again, she respects Legend's choice to do his job, and also has no interest in throwing him to the dogs by releasing his name if he doesn't want her too. She wants him to have a normal life, thank you, not get hounded by media and fans like some of her staff are.

His skill is totally comparable to Jeremy Jordan though! Absolutely love that idea (and the idea that maybe he sounds like him too!)

As for the whole Warriors suggestion, I think they both tease each other back and forth a lot. Warriors is a good few years older, so he isn't mean with it, but considering their dynamic, it's not too far out there to suppose that maybe he once teasingly commented on Legend's singing skill with the intent of implying it was good, but Legend (pessimist that he is) assumed it was negative. In which case, he probably is a bit self-conscious about it sometimes, although it's less noticeable. It'd be more like he doesn't sing as loudly while working if he hears Wars nearby, and gets touchy when the diva talks about his skills. Wars isn't a jerk though, so he probably is clueless about the mix-up.

With all this in mind though, I can totally see the main story (when I do actually write it, LOL) featuring Legend as that sidelined, super-star-level nobody who teaches our lead (Hyrule) how to absolutely wow the crowds. Would he know why Hyrule asked him? No. He probably assumes Rule just asked the guy he actually knows, that and the divas are unapproachable or smth, or maybe because Legend's been here a while. Man has no clue, but he will help Hyrule to the best of his abilities!