#Aria analyses

[bungouchronicles]

Imagine living in the slums your whole childhood, watching your friends, your family starve and die on the regular. One day you lose everything to some lowlife criminals, but there comes a man dressed in black who tells you that he can give you a reason to live, inviting you into the port mafia. He wraps his coat around you and for a moment you feel hope for the first time in your life.

Then he hits you. You never expected the mafia to be a loving place but it still makes your heart sink into your stomach.

But you still want him to be kind to you, you still want him to like you because he gave you purpose. So you do everything you possibly can to reach that goal of acknowledgement. You bring yourself to the brink of death just to please him.

But he still leaves.

And he finds someone else, someone who is in every way less than you. He gives him purpose and he's kind to him. This new apprentice has done nothing deserving of this and still, he gets everything you could've ever wanted, and he doesn't even realize it. He still complains about his past wounds.

You'll kill him, you have to. You must prove to that man no longer dressed in black that you've become strong, stronger than his new apprentice can ever be.

That is your purpose.

[sol-consort]

What I’d humanity went into space and everyone had cyberwear but humanity

Like salarian net runners, asari and volus fixers, krogans, turians with mantis blades (and those freaky pointy legs)

(Ignoring the fact that humanity wouldn’t make it to space if the turians were even more suped up)

SALARIAN NETRUNNERS? So you want us all to die huh?? You've doomed us all.

They don't need sleep, they have a perfect memory, an extremely fast ability to process and analyse information AND they'd look cool as fuck in a netrunner suit.

Turians with mantis blades... jesus fucking christ man. You can't make a creature this sick! Their swag is too much! Especially with how naturally it would feel for them, their arms are honed to use their claws for combat, it would adapt to mantis blade as part of their own in no time.

Aria would've been a fixer 100% like galactic mercenaries already exist in Mass Effect. They just happen to deal with the client directly instead. It's an untapped market, I tell you. Some sort of fixer equivalent has got to eventually form.

And you're excluding us from the party :( ??? what did humanity ever do to you. At least... let humanity keep the brain dances and rogue AIs? Pretty please?

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

Satellite Data Show Motion of Burma Earthquakes

At about 12:50 p.m. local time on March 28, 2025, a magnitude 7.7 earthquake started near the city of Mandalay, Burma (Myanmar). Twelve minutes later, the region shook again from a magnitude 6.7 quake with an epicenter about 31 kilometers (19 miles) to the south.

Originating at a depth of 10 kilometers (6 miles) on the Sagaing Fault, the earthquakes triggered intense shaking and building collapse near the epicenters. Infrastructure damage occurred as far away as Bangkok, Thailand, about 1,000 kilometers (600 miles) to the southeast.

Researchers at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Southern California used data from radar and optical satellites to visualize how the land moved during these quakes. In the map above, red pixels indicate northward motion, while blue pixels show movement to the south. The data highlights ground displacements of more than 3 meters (10 feet) along portions of the fault, for a total offset of more than 6 meters in some places.

The map is based on data from the Advanced Rapid Imaging and Analysis (ARIA) team at JPL and the California Institute of Technology’s Seismological Laboratory, a team that develops state-of-the-art deformation measurements, change detection methods, and physical models for use in hazards science and response.

The ARIA team drew from radar and optical data acquired by the European Space Agency’s Copernicus Sentinel-1A and Sentinel-2B/C satellites. Sentinel-1A employs synthetic aperture radar (SAR) to image the land surface using microwave pulses, while the Sentinel-2 satellites acquire optical data through an onboard multispectral sensor. Using data from the three satellites, the ARIA team computed estimates of horizontal ground motion within the earthquake rupture zone by tracking pixel offsets between pre- and post-earthquake images.

Models produced by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) indicated the earthquakes likely resulted from strike-slip motion along the north-south-oriented Sagaing Fault, which is at the interface between the Indian and Eurasian tectonic plates. The data in the image confirm right lateral strike-slip motion along the fault and help to constrain modeled estimates of fault rupture extent and surface displacement due to the earthquakes.

This region has a history of significant seismicity, with six earthquakes of greater than 7.0 magnitude occurring within about 250 kilometers (150 miles) of the March 28 quakes since 1900, according to the USGS. The surface rupture generated by the March 28 earthquakes has been estimated, based in part on the data shown, to span 550 kilometers (342 miles) in length. With a rupture extending from north of Mandalay to south of Burma’s capital, Nay Pyi Taw, it is one of the longest documented strike-slip fault-induced surface ruptures on record.

Preliminary analyses of the rupture by other scientists found that, in addition to being especially long, it was also remarkably fast, suggesting it may have been a rare “supershear” earthquake. In these events, the slip along the fault moves faster than the seismic waves it produces, which can concentrate seismic energy ahead of the rupture. The effect may exacerbate a quake’s destructive forces and might be part of the reason why the recent events caused so much damage so far from the epicenters.

NASA Earth Observatory map by Michala Garrison, using data provided by the ARIA team at NASA/JPL-Caltech. The map is based on Sentinel-1A and Sentinel-2B/C data provided by the European Space Agency and processed by ARIA team members Robert Zinke and Cole Speed (JPL). Story by Andrew Wang (JPL) and Lindsey Doermann. Science review by Grace Bato and Eric Fielding (JPL).

[llycaons]

reread 50-51: SARAH....

I wonder if the reason asmodeus likes to sing is because of sarah appreciating her sincerely here. I know she said she doesn't like being purely objectified and that's why she went for a singer and not an older model, but I can't imagine people aren't objectifying aria. maybe she's just telling herself that to justify her preference? I'm sure she'd get more lust from being a model...

back to wondering what corruption means in this context but maybe I'm giving asmodeus too much credit and she just thinks that once someone has been assaulted they're spiritually tainted and her job is done. or if she seduces them they're unable to rejoin conventional society and her job is also done

anyway sarah the single exception who asmodeus could not inflict suffering on

every time I see this in media I'm always like wtf that is SO much blood...I am a heavy bleeder too but aren't these people wearing undergarmants? and menstrual blood is fairly thick - it's not like it's the consistency of paint. usually. it's got stuff in it. anyway. variations across humanity and all that it's just weird to see it so constantly in media I guess

but anyway. women both lesbian and not trapped into socially and legally binding contracts with men as domestic and sexual servants for literal millennia....this little flashback actually means so much to me like yes thank you for reminding us of this long long history of misogyny and homophobia that the church had an active part of holding up

ALSO the construct of family and the idea of defying her parents as more painful and inconceivable to sarah than going through with a loveless marriage to a man she didn't choose and sex she presumably doesn't want. I'm not especially well-versed in family abolition theory but in both this flashback and the luka flashback there are parts where it seems very blatantly obvious that the family is the source and site of extreme violence and abuse, and I find that really compelling in a manga that likewise criticizes the catholic church. it goes hand in hand with a lot of the child abuse themes as well - like priest saying that kids aren't the property of their parents. and we haven't even talked about abortion...I don't think we will but we COULD

Sarah's story comes from the apocryphal Book of Tobit, which...I'm going to be so serious here it doesn't make any difference to me what's considered bible canon by the church and what's not. I am an atheist. This is exciting and impactful mythology, but it is mythology. It is all apocryphal to ME. And the way I'm interacting with these stories is literally as supplementary media for a manga I like. I will take all the analyses and references that are there but as long as they're all around the same topic and occupy the same general literary, social, and religious sphere it doesn't especially matter. To me.

anyway why did asmodeus say she saved sarah as she was dying in the street if she was the daughter of a prominent man. did he adopt her or smt

anyway...sarah tried to kiss her and she STOPPED HER...asmodeus...did you even understand what you were feeling...did you think it would have hurt too much to kiss once then never again?

I HATE THIS SCENE SO MUCH BC IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE THIS...I read a book set in medieval italy once and they went and listened at the door to hear the sounds of the new husband and wife having sex

extremely upsetting! the level of possession both fathers and husbands felt for their wives' bodies and the way women were treated as baby-makers was SO fucked and like the manga talks about this historical attitude in the present day too w Becu reading the Corinthians passage about how women have to be subservient to their husbands...

side note but I think the way some of the fandom talks about sex workers is a little reductive. it's not an extremely in-depth examination in canon either but at least dante is mocked bc he comes off as trying to be a holier-than-thou savior...anyway

she rly looks like an avenging angel...she couldn't bear to see sarah experience the kind of violence she regularly inflicts on others...

missed this - asmodeus full of righteous anger - who's the real demon here?

god himself intervened to make sure this woman married a man. LIKE...it doesn't get much more pointed than that. this flashback is so crazy....the church is a violently misogynistic and homophobic institution and always has been! and on a character level, asmodeus, the demon of lust, found a single person she really cared about and couldn't bring herself to be with her in either a violent OR a consensual way...she killed every man who tried to touch her and made her a pariah until an archangel intervened and she didn't even know why and she's still remembering her thousands of years later! CRAZYYY

oohhh asmodeus your terrible logic...your desperate, nonsensical thought processes....

THIS PART!!!!!

this quote again! asmodeus is thinking about it too! I had initially read this as the series simply telling us 'She Is Wrong' to counter a harmful rape culture myth of 'actually wanting it' but it actually is something she deeply believes and acts upon and what she centers her PLAN around so I really should have paid more attention to it!

onto 51, which is one of the most skin-crawingly disturbing chapters of any visual media I have ever read

he literally cannot believe it. he's completely taken aback, utterly confused. he NEVER suspected, not for a moment. and he liked aria so much - he wanted to believe he had a friend a confidante. oh man. and asmodeus knows she can't beat him head-on, so she's using these manipulation tactics to mentally and emotionally break him instead. that's why she's doing this now-right at the moment he's most vulnerable but before he cuts and runs

in the top image, you can ONLY see his right eye - his real one is left entirely in shadow

literally one of the most horrifying panels in the manga. to me

earlier asmodeus talked about the boxes in his heart opening up...but imuri's been slowly doing that work for months

really cool paneling. but this has me second-guessing myself now bc if she knows he's going to have a traumatic experience regardless why is she acting nice? 'if its from ME he'll like it' like maybe she really just doesn't understand humanity...

well bitch. get wrecked

especially since she's the one who put it there in the first place

this is the face that leah made when facing beezlebub...or close

here's the visual of his unlocked box again! it's not just his gentler emotions in there like his desire for intimacy, but his terror, fury, agony...she opened the box alright. and she triggered him really badly

this timing on this entry from bel makes me think it's directed at asmodeus but I don't think we saw the interference. also...does bel just not know? about priest? I don't remember....

[beckmessering]

Hey, new to your blog and to opera, and first of all I want to thank you for sharing all your informative, comprehensive and entertaining takes with us. Theatre fandom is so much richer for it! Secondly, I wondering if I might trouble you for some resource recommendations and some advice r.e. understanding opera technically and artistically as a newcomer to the genre. Myself, I only have highschool/College rudimentary orchestral (flute) skills and sadly cannot write music, sightread or sing well (would love to and have tried in the past to teach myself, but it's very difficult and hasn't...really taken well), so while I enjoy so much of the opera music to which I've been exposed, I feel so much is going over my head. What's more, though I have a theatre degree and poetry qualifications, my background is more performance Art and modern non-musical stage, so again I feel I'm missing so much nuance as I take in opera and the glitzy mad world around it. One of my tentative goals is to one day write a libretto, so it's important to me to figure it all out, however I know this will potentially be a long process. The podcasts Opera After Dark and Aria Code have helped somewhat with my understanding, but more knowledge and simpler breakdowns can only help more. Am interested in particular to know how you'd approach educating someone in opera, as you are so well-versed. In about a month I'm going to a screening of Rheingold, which is very much the scary deep end for me (I'm a fluffy French opera fan), so I'd like to go in forearmed haha. Thank you so much for reading and for your content, looking forward to the new season!

hey hey! first of all, sorry for taking half a century to respond to this ask - this is so sweet of you to say, i'm really touched 🥹

about the advice - first, to all the opera friends who see this, feel free to reblog with your own advice and ideas! i don't feel like the most qualified advice giver (lol) because for much of my knowledge, i don't quite remember how i got it. i played classical piano for twelve years, but i never "properly" studied operas anywhere, so most of my learning is and was autodidactic. i think i spent a lot of time on the internet reading interviews with my favourite singers. i also once joined an opera club/society at my university, where i learned more about practical aspects of rehearsals and performing. if you have the chance, going to any kind of open rehearsal is also great to learn about how music, staging, and acting end up together. then, it kind of depends on what you specifically want to discover about the operas you hear, whether it's music theory or aspects of stagings, etc.

i think i can say a bit, though, about how to approach a first-time rheingold (or a first-time wagner?). the most important thing is: the veil of seriousness that seems to surround wagner operas does not exist. at least it doesn't exist for me. it can be no less funky and fun than any other kind of opera. especially rheingold.

it depends a bit from which side you're more prone to approaching something: if you enjoy analysing music to get closer to it or if you feel you have to get closer to it first in order to want to analyse it. i am of the second type, which means i try to drop all worries before going to see something new and approach it with a "yeehee fun!!" mindset. something i find extremely worthwhile in wagner operas, especially because the words and the story are so old, is putting yourself in the characters' shoes and treating them as if they were real people. this helps if you tend to look at everything through the emotional lens - feeling emotionally close to the story in some way, either through understanding the relationships or properly relating, can help with appreciating the music and developing an understanding of why it was written this way. i'm no huge music analyst by choice myself, though, i have to admit. however, rheingold specifically is a very fun opera because it illustrates its own setting quite nicely with the music - there's a lot of atmosphere in the music and there's a lot of tone painting going on, like music that sounds like diving through a river, giant threatening footfalls, sounds of a smithy, and such. several of these reappear multiple times throughout the opera, so one thing i enjoyed playing around with while and after my first ring cycle was this playlist:

it has all the ring leitmotifs the heart desires and it's quite fun to play auditory bingo with them - you can either listen before you go or afterwards and then check out a recording.

as you were in orchestra, perhaps buying/borrowing a score and reading along would also be an option for you? i do this only for the works that really, really interest me, but i feel it does wonders for the amount of things i hear in the music, especially for wagner, because sometimes you can recognise motifs by sight on the page first and then you actually hear them better. i'd suggest doing this after the screening, though, if you liked it.

i'm not sure if this advice is any good, lmao - if you have any more questions, absolutely don't hesitate to be in touch! :) hope that rheingold goes well (which one will you be seeing, btw?) and i'd be curious to find out your opinion at the end!! :D

[moonlitenvyillust]

sigh,,, it's that time again

Stephen

bottled up rage

black coffee

tired

messy floor

has not cleaned his room in three months

clothes everywhere

bed at 3

sleeps in a cold matress at the corner of his room

divorced lmao

once smoked but quit because he felt guilty (amee kept looking at him worriedly)

tired detective

likes solving cases

is tired of the city air

esther is his assistant

likes analysing media or cases with aria

dad to the entire group

supportive

knows everyone's favorite things casually, and knows what to give on birthdays

amee's (platonic) dad lmao

that's it that's my stupidly tired detective man

"Bottled up rage" + "tired" Stephen is me core

[bungouchronicles]

Soukoku and their views on humanity

I said I'd make this post so here it is!

This post will include spoilers for the stormbringer lightnovel ‼️‼️(and also fifteen)

So the way Dazai and Chuuya view humanity is inherently different.

Dazai views it as a state of mind. If you act human you're human. To be human has to do with compassion and empathy. It's about what we call 'human nature'. And for someone like he, who (atleast as a teenager) did not feel and think in the way he deemed right he couldn't view himself as human.

Chuuyas view on what makes someone human is much more literal. "If you're a human then you're human." So in stormbringer, when he finds out he might not be an organic human to begin with it causes him to question and struggle with his own humanity.

In a way they are what the other wishes they could be.

Dazai wants to feel human, he wants to find that reason to live that comes so naturally for everyone around him, that's why he joined the mafia. Then comes chuuya, who is in whatever way you look at it so incredibly human. He wears his heart on his sleeve, he's so expressionate and most importantly, he feels deeply and at all times. Chuuya too came from that life Dazais had searched for and he had it all. They were the same type of people and still, chuuya was so different, so bright. And Chuuya might not even be human, but Dazai couldn't care less, because to him, even this made-made string of code was more human than he could ever wish to be. I think one of the reason Dazai loved to annoy Chuuyas from day one were to see that emotion on his face, as even more proof of his humanity.

This idea is even backed up by that scene in fifteen was Dazai continues to shoot that man even after he's already died. Dazai's almost like in a trance, mumbling about how "this is more than you deserve". Then Chuuya kicks the gun out of Dazais hand and says "Quit shooting dead bodies". Dazai responds with "You're right. You're absolutely right. What you say is probably correct." Because that's the correct way to think, what Chuuya had told him only further proved what Dazai had feared to be true.

I'll probably talk about their view on death as a whole some other day because Al find it really interesting and this is one of my favorite scenes when it comes to analysis.

To Chuuya, Dazai is everything but bright. Dazai is in anyway you see it entirely human. Born to a mother and raised among humankind. Still, he can't appreciate that. He doesn't understand what Chuuyas would give to have that. He's too stuck up about how he'll never be human, how the world Chuuya fought so hard to survive in is so very terrible. Dazai has "everything" and he still isn't happy with it. Weirdly enough, he seems so sure that Chuuya is infact human, without any proof of it either.

Chuuya had a reason to hate Dazai from the beginning (the whole thing with the sheep only further tainted Chuuyas view on Dazai), and I think he did, until the events if Stormbringer that is. That was when he won his unconditional trust. Dazai never fully hated Chuuya, but in a way Chuuya did question everything Dazai believed in. He was something unpredictable and exciting in his otherwise dull life. That was how he convinced Dazai to keep living after the Rimbaud fight.

That wasn't all good though. You're not usually extraordinary happy when someone comes along and changes everything.

I saw someone talk about how Chuuya always got up and continued on even after all the misfortune he has gone through while Dazai was afraid to try, knowing everything he would never want to lose is always lost the moment he obtains it. That was a brilliant way to see it. Chuuya challenged Dazai and from the beginning, and he wanted to hate him for it.

But time goes on, as it always does and suddenly Chuuya knows that he's most probably human after all. Does this make this 'analysis' all for nought? I don't think so, because I adore the themes of humanity in BSD and this is more an analysis from the perspective of teenage soukoku. Chuuya no longer struggles as much with his humanity and Dazai feels more than he ever has before, even if it's not "the correct way" to feel and think.

Conclusion:

Dazai views humanity as a state of mind and Chuuya views it as a state of body. They both are what the other one wished they could be and that's one of the reasons they had a lot of actual conflict as teenagers.

[typhlonectes]

Revealing anole diversity in the highlands of the Northern Andes: New and resurrected species of the Anolis heterodermus species group

Rafael A. Moreno-Arias, Miguel A. Méndez-Galeano, Iván Beltrán, Mario Vargas-Ramírez Abstract

Abstract

The Anolis heterodermus group comprises eight big-headed and short-legged lizard species from the highlands of the northernmost South American Andes. 

Recent studies revealed unknown lineages within this group that had previously been categorized as a species complex. 

By widely sampling and applying an integrative taxonomic framework, we (1) assessed the species diversity of the group using a molecular dataset (two mitochondrial and one nuclear markers) along with an inclusive morphological study (scalation, scale configuration and ornamentation, morphometrics, and dewlap and body colour patterns); and (2) we inferred the evolutionary relationships within this species group. Our analyses confirmed the formerly reported differentiation between populations of those high-altitude lizards, and we identified several unknown evolutionary lineages. 

Our results provided evidence for the existence of nine distinct, independently evolving evolutionary lineages in the heterodermus group. As a result, we described two morphologically and genetically highly distinct lineages as species new to science (A. quimbaya sp. nov. and A. tequendama sp. nov.). We redescribed A. heterodermus and erected as a valid species Anolis richteri, a previously described synonym of A. heterodermus. 

A taxonomic key for the identification of species of the Phenacosaurus clade was presented. The identification of two additional poorly-known lineages suggested that the diversity of this group of lizards is still unknown; therefore, it is necessary to establish measurements for the group´s conservation, as well as to perform fieldwork and revision of herpetological collections to identify possible hidden diversity within the group.

Read the paper here:

https://vertebrate-zoology.arphahub.com/article/94265/

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

Los Angeles-Area Landslide Expands

Analysis of data from NASA radar aboard an airplane shows that the decades-old active landslide area on the Palos Verdes Peninsula has expanded.

Researchers at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Southern California used data from an airborne radar to measure the movement of the slow-moving landslides on the Palos Verdes Peninsula in Los Angeles County. The analysis determined that, during a four-week period in the fall of 2024, land in the residential area slid toward the ocean by as much as 4 inches (10 centimeters) per week.

Portions of the peninsula, which juts into the Pacific Ocean just south of the city of Los Angeles, are part of an ancient complex of landslides that has been moving for at least the past six decades, affecting hundreds of buildings in local communities. The motion accelerated and the active area expanded following record-breaking rainfall in Southern California in 2023 and heavy precipitation in early 2024.

To create this visualization, the ARIA (Advanced Rapid Imaging and Analysis) team used data from four flights of NASA’s UAVSAR (Uninhabited Aerial Vehicle Synthetic Aperture Radar) that took place between September 18 and October 17, 2024. The UAVSAR instrument was mounted to a Gulfstream III jet flown out of NASA’s Armstrong Flight Research Center in Edwards, California, and the four flights were planned to estimate the speed and direction of the landslides in three dimensions.

In the image above, colors indicate how fast parts of the landslide complex were moving in late September and October, with the darkest reds indicating the highest speeds. The arrows represent the direction of horizontal motion. The white solid lines are the boundaries of the active landslide area as defined in 2007 by the California Geological Survey.

“In effect, we’re seeing that the footprint of land experiencing significant impacts has expanded, and the speed is more than enough to put human life and infrastructure at risk,” said Alexander Handwerger, the JPL landslide scientist who performed the analysis.

The insights from the UAVSAR flights were part of a package of analyses by the ARIA team that also used data from ESA’s (the European Space Agency’s) Copernicus Sentinel-1A/B satellites. The analyses were provided to California officials to support the state’s response to the landslides and made available to the public at NASA’s Disaster Mapping Portal.

Handwerger is also the principal investigator for NASA’s upcoming Landslide Climate Change Experiment, which will use airborne radar to study how extreme wet or dry precipitation patterns influence landslides. The investigation will include flights over coastal slopes spanning the California coastline.

NASA Earth Observatory image by Lauren Dauphin using ARIA velocity magnitude data provided courtesy of JPL, USGS 3DEP lidar point cloud data data from the 3D Elevation Program, California Geological Survey data of active and dormant landslides, and building outlines data from the County of Los Angeles. Story by Andrew Wang, NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

[bluewinnerangel]

can you analyze the 2014 aria award interview? that larry shit was wild lmao

You mean this one?

OH BOY ARE YOU READY FOR SOME READING INTO THINGS BECAUSE I'VE ANALYSED THIS FOOTAGE TO DEATH AND IT'S BEEN 7 MONTHS SINCE I'VE LET THAT BRAINMONSTER ESCAPE (just found my own comment under that yt video yes *shame I commented things on youtube shame shh*) SO OH BOI OH BOIIII you probably don't even mean this one because there are a shitton of wild wild wiiillld larry interviews and I don't consider this one of them but still YES LET'S GO. under the cut because long:

Ok. Unpopular opinion incoming: Louis isn't whipped for the interviewer and Harry/Nialls reaction isn't laughing at that / not letting him talk for that reason. I mean he might as well be but that's not why they're behaving like that. Instead I think they're in some kinda stupidass game here because this is One Direction we're talking about and god forbid these weird lil we might be media trained but we're gonna find each and every way possible to mess with each other (oh god I didn't mean it like that but yeah ok that's a pun) especially while we're supposed to behave and here I think something like that is happening.

Liam is trying to not let Louis speak, Louis is trying to not let Liam speak, and Niall and Harry are trying to not let either of them speak. Why? Because 5 idiots? Because they're always playing secret lil subtle games or whateverthefuckthey'redoing? I kinda talked about this recently for other reasons but there's some good examples in there too. And Zayn's there just... signing away!? I don't know what's prompting one to say shit and why that's setting the other off because I mean obviously whatever this is the viewer isn't in on it. It's their inside joke. It seems to me that they're trying to get certain words in over the others or something? Maybe? I'm not sure.

Again so so so much credit to gif content creators, I'm not one of them. Have fun with this deepfried giffed footage:

0:00-0:07

What I think is happening here is that just before this segment they were probably being oddly specifically pushy about who stands where, and the interviewer's just breaking the silence asking them why and then what's on tape here is Liam/Louis trying to explain away to the not-in-on-their-silly-little-games-interviewer why they're behaving the way they are with some total bullshit. They're talking about who is standing where and I think Liam says "you know what he has to be in the middle he's [??standing out you know??]? That's the way it works." I can't tell if he's talking about Louis or Niall. Also note how Liam is physically keeping check/controlling Louis, which again makes me think they're in the middle of some bullshit competition game against each other here. Just a bunch of kittens playfighting but make it subtle alskdjalksjdla.

Then ~keep in mind they probably think the filming hasn't started yet as this is before the interview~ Harry is being an introverted relatable queen noticing something and wanting to change it but not doing anything about it and whispering whatever's bugging him to the closest person he's comfortable with that can fix it for him instead and that's Niall. Ok that's a lot of projecting but it's clear he's pointing something out, and Nialls reaction shows he's checking out whatever Harry is talking about immediately. And welp what Niall does is going for a full body scan of Louis. Sooooo yeah that gives a ton away. I watched this many times till I think I figured something out that makes enough sense to move on with my life. I think Harry comments on Louis' suit and how he has to unbutton his jacket. They've both shown to be that kinda boyfriend that's looking out for each other's appearances ("not sure about your fringe", covering each other [like literally blocking the view] when something's not fitting right etc) and he has decided Louis would probably look better if he'd fix his jacket... This because in the inaudiable part he might be mouthing "button" and it's what Nialls looking at as well (I'm trying hard here lol, trying to lipread istg I'm going DEEP here) then Niall instinctively wants to inform Louis, his left arm goes in for it but then changes his mind and fixes his glasses instead. It could also be that Nialls reaction isn't a body check but a reaction to Louis' hand flopping there tho and he's just looking a that instead but it looks like a scan to me lol. For Harry's second sentence to Niall I also kinda hear "don't let him speak" (which fits with the upcoming Harry urging Niall to answer the questions / not letting the others speak so aslkdjal) but really it could be anything as it's just a mumble. Anyway. Last we have Zayn who is just seeing it all unfold as usual. He's also possibly physically responding to whatever Harry just said, he mirrors what Niall seems to look out for? If that makes sense? He checks his own suit. And then there's the first self-first-bump which I still don't know what the fuck it is but it's definitely something he does loads in interviews and here he just keeps on going. But let's write it off as just a i-don't-know-what-to-do-with-my-hands-thing.

0.07-0.14

OK SO THEN the interview starts and again see Liam holding Louis in check here right, he grabs his neck and pulls on his hair. Louis goes in hard with "OH YEAH WE'RE REALLY EXCITED" and Harry just nearly pisses himself which looks familiar. And if there's anything you can take away from these idiots it's definitely that they'll sneak in a penny's joke anywhere and everywhere and maybe this is another one. But maybe it's not that. Or maybe it's both. Because both Liam and Niall are as on edge as Louis trying to jump in to answer here and they both get denied thanks to Louis' loudness.

0.14-0.21

The SHEER LEVEL OF ENTERTAINMENT on Harry/Niall from Louis being excited or Niall being denied to talk is just way way way too great for being just because of that alone. That's why I think it's a game. That's why I think Louis is playing it really well right here and they're all not letting each other talk and they're just that entertained by Louis' competitiveness.

0.21-0.28

And then we see Louis being really proud especially when Niall laughs that he just did that. He keeps checking all the boy's reactions and making a :> :>>>> face which like... did what exactly? And they all know he just did that and is doing it well and he's all happy and bouncy because he's just being great at whatever this lil menace behavior is. Then we got Zayn doing the lil self-fist-bump again wahtever the hell that is too. We also got Louis checking for Harry's reaction real quick a whole bunch of times which is cute af. Not to mention Nialls reaction to Louis' behavior is also checking for Harry's reaction which is perhaps even cuter af (and also sign no 2800003096 that yep they're so fucking married really look at Niall go oh this one did something lemme just check in with the other half yep they're one fking entity wbk)

0.28-0.35

And I just wanna highlight this frame real quick because 1) LOL but 2) my brain's just seeing fetus larry here and it is waayy too much to handle wtf me but 3) ziam is a wholeass other mood ASDASHK THERE'S 3 BRAINS HERE

So you see they're all trying to answer. At least all but Zayn. Check all of them one by one lol they're all trying to catch that mic. And I think Nialls maybe the most nervous playing along but he's doing it. You see Harry going "go go go" to Niall. And I think Louis' reactions here aren't him being a weird lil peacock meerkat interested in the interviewer but just very god damn competitive and way way too invested in this game asldkjal AND WHATS EVEN BETTER HERE IS LOUIS LETTING NIALL HAVE IT BECAUSE HIS MAN WANTS THAT MAYBE NOT EVEN CONCIOUSLY asdasfsdg actually look at both Louis and Harry being so worked up and in this and also the fking wiggly leggies ladksjalkj help.

Ok ok ok so I think at 0:40 Niall says "bruv". He's deadass calling the interviewer "bruv" and that might just be ~the game~ here? Like they're just being some pasty dorky gangsters? ????? Seriously go listen and see their reactions when he does it. Harry cracks the fuck up, Liam sees his life passing him by (??? Does that mean he lost?! Why is he the only one being this unentertained by it?), Louis goes for some Jim Halpert staring at the camera what about it moment, Harry cracks the fuck up again, Zayn laughs too, Nialls really trying to make it look like that came naturally to him.

The next time (0:49) the interviewer hands over the mic there's ALL OF THEM AGAIN trying to answer it. Again it's Louis being the most persistent shit. And Liams pretty aggressive with this one too lol (you gotta hear him go listen), then they crack up again at Louis using the word "bonkers", also hear both Niall and Zayn repeat the word as well.

Then there's a longass time where Louis just seems to not agree with what someone behind the camera is trying to tell him. He's making big eyes, rolling his eyes, shaking his head, saying no, like he's turning them down, going "no it's not" or something. It's subtle at first, starts around 1:01 and lasts until about 1:33

Ok I'm gonna stop here because that's 10 gifs and that means I'm out of space (couldve made this in another mode, didn't, oop) and there's just so much shit going on here and it's SO CHAOTIC. There's a whole thing with hammering on Niall doing an accent and Harry just keeps on repeating "so good" with an australian accent, and Niall absolutely looses is utter sheit when Harry says ~something~ presumably in that accent. And then the whole mess with the wheel? And how it ends? The CHAOS? It's great.

[turnaroundroundround]

Morimyu in Classical reference

So, as for the fact that music in Morimyu Op. 3 resembles classical music in both progression and musical technicality, it's interesting how it's possible to keep coming up with different interpretations after re-watching the musical again and again.

I've made a thread on twitter about this before, but 1) word limitations and thread will never be enough to list all that I have to say lol 2) I'd prefer to have a fuller version noted down, especially one that I can edit and keep coming back over and over again when ever I come up with something new.

Either way, I am still (lol) not a pro in music theory and music history as well. All that is written here are based on my very very basic knowledge on music as well as something that I've picked up (and discussed) with my friends after watching Op. 3.

What's the point of this?

Why is it important? Lol I always need this to keep myself from writing off-topic but anyways. Why do the music sound good (except for the fact that because it does lol), and what do they represent? Surely there must be, and there always are, other things that are implied not only through the lyrics but also the music, and the flow in general.

Apart from the lyrics and the lines, it's also quite interesting to have a close look at the music - melody and harmony itself - to see how they portray the stories.

Most importantly, the continuality. How did Morimyu manage to insert so many songs and still managing to connect them as a whole? And how did they use music to go beyond what's on the pages? That's the most important thing about musicals - beyond the pages. We don't see stage or anime doing so very often, as they mainly focus on what's already there, bringing them to life as close as possible to how we imagine things might happen.

As for musical, they have the music. They have the arias and the songs. At some point, a character starts singing, and other characters followed suit. They have their very unique way of expressing the plot, and they have the orchestra, the arias where characters get their solo song, and the duets between characters with strong relationships, and the ensemble which emphasizes the plot, and so on.

A funny thing about duets in classical opera, they're often meant to show lovers' relationship because of the harmony but can also use opposition and all to show enemies' relationship. And in SherLiam's duet it's just both of them at the same time - thoughts connected while engaging in a chase, a hide and seek game of mystery. We'll go into that later.

Back to the topic. Morimyu follows the main plot strictly, but also uses their advantage with music to add all the side details that wasn't told in the manga to create a "complete" view of the plot. It is always available for musicals to do something unexpected (like how we never expected Lestrade's puppet show to be a whole 5 mins long piece lol). And where they did that they added arias and duets, they allowed moments where characters express and developed their emotions as well as going with the plan (yes Albert yessss). Of course there's both a good and bad side to this all the while.

💛 The good thing is they went all the way to show us sides of emotions that we don't see much in the manga or stage, the sides of the story that all of them have kept hidden while focusing on their grand plan. 💛 But then it does get too emotional at some point, especially those who came for the plot and the mind games behind all of it (like me - although I won't deny that I had a lot of fun picking out all the emotions behind the music here lol).

Musicals can always go beyond what we knew. As for Morimyu, their music is heavily influenced by opera and classical music, and it's shown quite clear. There is live music playing (instead of the entire orchestra we have a violin and piano duet), and they have distinctive arias and recitatives throughout.

So thanks to that, it's also possible to use a reference from classical music to interpret their songs.

A Sonata formation - The Narrative Series of SherLiam

Yes, songs arranged and analysed with reference to a Sonata formation, especially in the way they progress through the play.

Some notes before getting into the point

1 - Sonata = a piece of music consisting of several movements - very often 3, sometimes 4. First movement-Allegro: With the quick tempo, introducing the theme of the entire Sonata Second movement-Adagio/Largo: Slow tempo, can be emotional sometimes, as well as leading more towards the final movement Third movement-Rondo Vivace: The ending, quick-paced and vigorous, leading the Sonata to a close. A Sonata always has a general theme, a topic. The theme that I chose to write about is Mystery - the Hide and Seek game between the Detective and Lord of Crime

2 - Aria and Recitative = different types of songs used in an opera Recitative: Lines within a song that happens like a real conversation, as the characters sing they are also talking to each other Aria: A solo section where everything else is a freeze frame, while one actor remains and sing their own song about their thoughts, feelings, etc. In this post we're mainly discussing the arias of Sherlock and Liam, and the duet between them. But there's also some mention of recitatives here and there.

3 - Videos used To make it easier to understand which songs I'm talking about, I also arranged them in piano. And also to have a listen at how they might connect. Just in case the videos beneath don't work (they didn't work on my phone), the three songs discussed are Nazo, Liam's solo, Kokoro no Rondo, all piano arrangements.

All of the songs noted in this section are arias and duets from Op. 3 - the Ghost of the Whitechapel. The additional "series" that Morimyu has added spreading throughout the play, Sherlock and Liam's narratives, which portrays both their emotions and the chase between the detective and the Lord of Crime.

First Movement - Allegro: Nazo(謎) song

Starting from Lestrade's exit after his puppetshow and proceed to the scene, Sherlock's aria introduces the theme of the imaginary hide and seek game that the Lord of Crime has started. The song repeats the word (mystery) over and over again with a continuous rhythm.

Ends with Sherlock just mumbling the word Nazo (mystery) and exiting the stage - no conclusions, just like a mystery that leads into further mysteries with no answer.

♛♛♛ In regards to a Sonata formation, this is the beginning of the entire piece. Quick in tempo, written in 3/4 time and introduces the theme of the entire piece - Mystery.

Uso ka Shinjitsu ka - Lie or Truth song

Starting after Sherlock learns the truth behind Jack the Ripper, wondering if Lord of Crime is a good person after all.

Now I had a really hard time thinking whether this piece should be included or not. For one, it's not an aria. It can be viewed as a Da capo Aria, a development section of the Nazo song, repeating the theme that is introduced, coming and going rather quickly. So, for continuality.

It also does not fit into the series as a whole, being 1) a recitative. The lyrics focus entirely on Sherlock's deduction and whether he should expose the truth or not, etc. so on. 2) The lines in here, unlike the other arias, are taken directly from the manga, so it's not entirely an 'added' element to this chase. 3) Also because if we compare this to a Sonata form, this doesn't really fit anywhere

However, among Sherlock's arias, this song can also be seen as an interesting development as I have mentioned above, so I've decided to have it here, still.

There's another thing about almost all of Sherlock's arias throughout the 2 stages - they never have a conclusive end. The detective's mind is always running, mysteries after mysteries.

Most of the other characters' songs ends with some kind of closing lines, and piano continues to conclude the piece with a strong end, and then goes on to start another piece. All of their problems in the songs are concluded. They made up their minds in some ways.

But Sherlock, his songs always end with him repeating the melody, a capella, and exiting the stage. Piano waits for him to exit, then starts a new song. Or in Op. 2's Mindgame case going straight into the next conversation. We never get to know how Sherlock's songs end, because they didn't really end at those points. There's a hanging sense of waiting for a resolution, a conclusion. Sherlock never seems to have his problems solved within the songs, they just go on and on.

An idea initiates, then something happens and he is once again in the dark. And he spins around within his own mind.

Screenshot from Op. 2. Even if we look back to his aria Mindgames from Op. 2, this song doesn't really have a conclusive ending as well. He just starts singing, the music stops and he starts shooting and going on, resuming the play. It kind of has been a thing for Sherlock's arias?

Second Movement - Adagio/Largo: Liam's solo

♛♛♛ The "second movement" - the 'slower' piece - of the series, Liam's aria lol but actually the piano part of this song isn't slow at all but ok. The other side of this hide and seek game. The "development" section of the sonata series, where we see things in a much more emotional way.

This aria is much richer in harmony and melody. Not only Liam's melody, but also the piano's part which plays a beautiful melody in harmony.

I recall an interview where the stage director mentions how the "orchestra" - piano and violin are representations for Liam and Sherlock. It kind of applies here, where his music is created mostly by piano.

There is modulation, emotions rising and elevating quickly and strongly. But the harmony is beautiful, overflowing and rich with emotions. The song repeats certain lines, emphasizing aspects within Liam's thoughts.

Unlike Sherlock's train of thoughts that circles with no destination, Liam's solo has a definite ending in harmony -> Even with all his emotions in mind, Liam still has a goal already set before him. He has a brief moment of slowing down, pausing and sung about his feeling, before resuming the story.

Leading us to the final stage - Kokoro no Rondo.

Third Movement - Rondo Vivace: Kokoro no Rondo

Rondo formation: Rondo is a type of dance that revolves around a pattern, often ABA, ABACA, or ABACABA - where A is the ritournello ("meguri - kimi ni omou - meguru kokoro no rondo" section) that is repeated over and over with B, C parts in between. Rondo can also be combined with sonata form - this case applies to this song which begins with a key other than the tonic (Fm) before resolving to the tonic key (Fm) to put an end to the entire sonata series. For reference purposes, the last movement of Beethoven's Pathetique or the very typical Fur Elise is also written in a similar format. I also referred to Pathetique quite a lot when brainstorming this post.

♛♛♛ The "final movement" of this Sonata, the final scene of their "Hide and Seek" game. The song's tempo is vibrant and rapid, combining with the dancing sense, all the while strictly following the structure of a Rondo as mentioned above.

This is the stage where Liam and Sherlock's line interacts and reply to each other, as if in a real conversation - just like how the connection between them are now much stronger than what they had before.

In the ritournello, we have Liam and Sherlock's lines intertwining and chasing after one another, emphasizing the "Hide and Seek" element between the two of them.

The song comes to a definite ending, concluding with a strong tonic (Fm) chord. At this stage, there is no more question to be left open, for Sherlock at this point has already made up his mind to take the next step into solving the mysteries regarding the Lord of Crime.

Their imaginary game of Hide and Seek is coming to an end, as Sherlock came to a decision to take the next step - going to Durham.

That's the end of my first draft.

So far that is some of my thoughts noted down right after watching Op. 3 stream a while ago, with some edition made just now.

On the side note, at some point during my discussion with a friend, we also came up with the idea that a Suite may be a better reference. A Suite consists of 4 parts and a prelude, each of them having their specific characteristic. But we didn't go all the way analysing that idea, as 1) we couldn't find a 5th piece that can be added into the series. 2) Even if we did, the Truth or Lie song still would not really fit into the "aria" vibe of this series, as mentioned above.

But then quite interestingly, after a while, I've found another interesting fact that should have been quite obvious but I've missed for (lol) like ages.

The game of Hide and Seek between the detective and the Lord of Crime has begun ever since after Hope's case - that being said, ever since the end of Op. 1

And what is it that we have in Op. 2? "The Mind games of the Lord of Crime". The one where Sherlock went maniac rapping about all the thoughts he has and end up shooting randomly into the wall.

At first it begins like another recitative, but in the later half, the harmony starts to become more harmonious, written in 3/4 time flowing like a dance.

In that section, the melody of the piano and violin part resembles the one we have in Kokoro no Rondo, the Ritournello section, only that the melody of the violin in Op. 2 and the melody that SherLiam sung in Op. 3 are kind of reversed.

Coincidence much?

So now we have a collection of songs from both Opus, it becomes tricky. How do we connect them? And what's the story?

At this point, all these recitatives, aria and duets all in the theme of the Hide and Seek game. And they all connect to each other through harmony, progressions in harmony.

We know that the Mind games of the Lord of Crime has begun from ever since the end of Op. 1. We know that Sherlock keeps wondering about that in Op. 2, and then he wonders even further after he has been tested by the Lord of Crime. "また俺だけのメッセージなのか?" - Is this a message just for me?, as he wondered in the Truth or Lie song. We knew all of that. But Morimyu didn't let that stop them from emphasizing on this subplot even further.

They didn't let the gap between Op. 2 and Op. 3 stop them from making a smooth flow in plot either.

Correction, they didn't simply create a flow. They established a connection, all the while showing a strong progression of Sherlock's thoughts that goes on from Op. 2 straight onto Op. 3.

Very often, what makes a good plot is how their plots and sub-plots intertwine with each other. Morimyu has a main plot that follows Moriarty gang in the plan of changing society. And they have a smaller plot told from Sherlock's side of things. And they have this sub-plot told by harmony of how Sherlock is connected to Liam, or the Lord of Crime, by an invisible thread. A connection that is only expressed that clearly in Morimyu.

We have so many things going on, so many songs throughout the play. But each of those elements are all connected to something else, creating a sub-plot that enriches the main plot.

There is no loose connections. For everything that connects to the main plot, they're also linked to other elements. Each scene and every song has their own meaning not only in regards to other songs, but also to the plot as a whole.

Also, did I mention how Morimyu feels like a grand piece of music?

Opus -> What classical songs had that basically shows the order in which they are written. Morimyu - a title piece itself - has 3 Opus, 3 different parts with the same theme.

Classical music very often had all the different elements in it -> Morimyu had an overture, the song they sing just before the main theme song, just before introducing the stage. Then arias, ensembles and choruses. All of them are connected by similar harmony.

Classical music always had a big general theme, with each section having a smaller sequence connecting to each other. Subplots within a big plots. A Sonata piece has 3 movements, each having their own "sections" of development - expositions, development, recapitulation. -> Morimyu does the same to their plot and subplots, as discussed above.

Also, Opera reference

While Opus 2 used an opera reference to tell the story, I feel like Opus 3 has become an Opera itself. During Op. 2 the arias were mostly very loyal to the manga, taking their lines from the original work, like the Mind Games song. Their story progresses steadily but logically.

However starting from Op. 3, the aria became more independent. They developed and expressed even further what wasn't said in the manga. For instance, the 3 songs mentioned in the "Sonata" above. And there's also Albert's solo, and Patterson's solo and Milverton, which I haven't got the chance to discuss all.

But either way, they spring out of the original story, adding more emotions and "colours" to the characters. The aria became more original, all the while also much more expressive. We get to see new sides of the characters that we haven't seen anywhere before.

Anyways, it's probably time to go back to the main question: How Morimyu used music to go beyond what's on the pages.

-> Musicals aren't simply about music added to acting. The characters on stage don't just simply starts singing for no reason. All the songs are meant to express something, and while they do they also establish various connections to the plot's progression.

We don't get to see much of the characters' emotions in the manga. And we don't see much of the side story, the finer details behind each arc. Every time, Morimyu adds something original to enrich their plot. They express and develop what's already known to all the viewers, especially regarding the emotional and motivational side of the characters.

-> The manga shows us the entire plot, with details related, back stories that lead to the present, and all. But it doesn't give a lot of hint into how characters might feel. Surely, reading between the lines, it's up to the readers to interpret them.

But Morimyu gives us all of that, and they leave it to us to read between the music.

And even if we didn't, that's fine. Then the purpose of all of them linking together would be to create a performance where everything is connected harmoniously, allowing us to be emerged in the world of Yuumori.

-> The purpose of having a stage, primarily, is to allow the audience to engage in, experience and feel the emotions along with the characters they see on stage. The point of having a live stage, a plot, and the music, are all to let us emphasize with the characters on stage.

In Morimyu, we aren't just watching a plot between our favourite characters happening as we know it from the manga. We see a combination of mysteries unveiling slowly, the stories on the side of each characters as they slowly progress forward, as well as emphasising with their emotions in the story.

That's what I really like about Morimyu.

So, WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS?

So I had to scroll back to the top (lol) to quote this and make sure I haven't gone too far from the main theme.

Regarding musical Yuumori, there's always so many things I'd like to talk about. And if I start going on about it then it only gets harder to focus on one single topic.

Since the topic here is Morimyu and their music, especially in classical reference, I've tried to keep everything I've discussed relevant. But whenever I start on something, there would always be something that comes to mind. Like how other songs might also have certain connections, or how they used stage directions and lightings, etc. I really want to look more into stage directions in Morimyu as well, but that would have to wait...

Anyways, I tried to keep this as simple as possible. When I sent the first version of this to my friends, I keep having the feeling that I got too technical with all the theories about harmony and structure lol

And once again, this is only some of my own interpretation of the series that I've picked up.

If something else came to mind... well. Either way, for the purpose of engaging in their wonderful music or for the purpose of watching a beautiful stage just for enjoyment, Morimyu definitely is worth watching. And to watch over and over again. I've said this for Op. 2 but I'll say this ten times as much for Op. 3. Truly magnificent.

And, that's pretty much it that I have for today, I guess.

Thanks a lot to all my friends who gave me lots of inspiration and motivation to complete this ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ Lots of love to @rikaaki as well ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

[slow-button-off]

Laurent Mekies -TP press conference - answers about team orders and Charles

Q: (Christian Nimmervoll - Motorsport total. Com) Laurent, in terms of potential team orders, something that's being discussed outside the team, more than inside probably, but is the situation necessarily that you would focus on one driver in terms of the championship only when the other one’s mathematically out of the race? LM: I think you're right in saying that it is more discussed outside Ferrari than inside Ferrari. But more seriously, again, we have always been very clear, you know. We target to have the best result for the team; Ferrari comes first. And then of course there will be a point where we will need to focus more on a driver compared to the other one if the championship position is requiring. So, it does not mean waiting for the mathematical difference that you mentioned but it means being at the point of the season where you think it is the right thing to do so.  Q: (Edd Straw – The Race) Laurent, obviously Charlotte [CHARLES the FIA fucked that up in their transcript] made the high-profile mistake last time. How do you go about helping Charles find the right way to cut back the mistakes, because the strike rate of those errors is maybe a little bit too high? And is there a way to help him do that without losing that edge of incredible speed?  LM: Let's start from the speed. He has been showing such outstanding speed this year again that you don't want to go and touch that aspect and Charles doesn't need us to understand, as a great racing driver, to understand where he needs to go in terms of closeness to the limit. He is a master of that and, as we all do, mistakes can happen. I think we don't look at single mistakes, we look at the strike rate. We look at how extraordinarily you're able to do things compared to stuff that you do not as good, and I think his strike rate this year has been very, very impressive and we don't want him to change anything.

Q: (Silvia Aria – Parabrisas) Laurent is it possible that when things don’t go right is Charles Leclerc a little bit more emotional than Carlos? LM: I would not say so, really. You know, with both these guys we have had very good highs and we have had very painful lows this season, and in both ways, in both directions, when they come back to the garage, when they have looked at what happened, when they have looked at the data, they are able to reset, to be in the learning mode pretty much after 15 minutes. So you need to separate that from maybe what you can hear on the radio in the heat of the moment when they are racing with a high heart rate. I think it's two different things. But when they get out of the car and they analyse everything, after an hour they will be back into the analysis mode and showing little emotion in a negative way, no negative emotions, but instead you can see it drives them to even more motivation. 

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Fifty Five

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 10k+ (worth it, promise)

Warnings: Fluff, Smut 🔞, Angst, Violence, Blood, mention and moments of PTSD.

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Diana Prince, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias, Kara Danvers x OC

This Part: Emma has finally collapsed in front of the Superfriends. Can they wake her up?

This was so fun to write! I Hope you enjoy reading it 😁

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @inquisitive-nix, @checkingoutforheroes, @mmmmokdok, @certainkryptoniangeek, @starmako26

“What are you doing here?” Winn asks, bewildered by the billionaire's appearance.

“Where is she?” Kate asks back, as Winn continues to blink at her. “Emma, where is she?”

“Oh, through here.” Winn fully opens the door and motions for Kate to enter.

Kate does so and walks through to the back room to find the Superfriends all gathered together.

“Kate?” Alex asks with a deep frown and Diana’s head snaps up in relief.

Kate goes to respond but her eyes focus on a frail Emma. “Oh.” She breathes out and glances at Eliza. “May I examine her?”

“No.” Alex stands, positions herself in front of Emma and crosses her arms. “Not until you tell me why the hell you are here.”

“Alex!” Eliza scolds her daughter, but Alex doesn’t budge.

“I’m sorry for what happened between us.” Kate says sincerely and it’s Sam’s turn to frown. “May I examine her first and then you can ask your questions?” Kate’s eyes quickly move around the room, studying each Superfriend closely. Her blue gaze pauses on Lena and Kate feels pity for her business rival. Although the rivalry is more friendly banter then an actual feud. The two have actually worked closely together, being two strong females in a mainly male dominated industry.

“Alex, please.” Diana pleads out. “I texted her to come over.”

But the redhead doesn’t budge as she stares Kate down.

“Alex. She can help Emma.” J’onn reasons with her.

Finally Alex steps aside.

“Thank you.” Kate says, immediately going to Emma and kneels next to Diana. “What happened?”

“She used freeze breath, speed, possibly strength and-” Diana pauses and looks over at Lena. Kate follows her eye line and glances between the two.

“And?”

“I broke my ankle, a compound ankle fracture.” Lena starts to quietly explain and Kate analyses her outstretched ankle. Frowning slightly when she sees no bone sticking out, if anything, it just looks a little swollen. “Lucy and Ruby went to get help and Emma stayed with me, but the weather got worse, trees started to fall around us. The pain was excruciating.” Lena sniffs and rubs her face. Kara, snuggled into Ben’s arms, gets up and goes to her best friend, placing a comforting arm around her. Lena gives her an appreciated smile and continues. “I feared for both of us but then Emma lifted me up with such ease, like I weighed nothing and she super sped us back here.” Lena swallows and takes another deep breath, remembering the fear and the blinding pain she was experiencing, how she felt the warm blood seeping from her ankle, how the world blurred around her and she had to close her eyes for fear of throwing up. “When we were almost to the house I felt a warm sensation spread through my body, I can’t explain it and the pain in my ankle disappeared.” Lena shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling. “I thought I was losing sensation and my mind raced with the possibility that I’d need it amputated.” Lena jutts her jaw to the side and sniffs again. “But, as you can clearly see-” However, words fail her and she motions at her ankle in disbelief.

“Are you sure the bone had broken through?” Kate asks, causing Lena to frown at her.

“It had!” Lucy speaks up in frustration. “I saw it, there was blood and the bone was sticking out.” Lena nods in agreement.

“And there was blood on Lena’s jeans.” Eliza mentions. “I’m sorry, I already put them in the washing machine.”

Lena swallows and lowers her head. Remembering how dotting Eliza had been and helped her out of her wet clothing. Making sure she was comfortable on the sofa as she elevated her leg on the stool.

“Okay.” Kate says and notices a few of the Superfriends looking squeamish. Her gaze falls back to Emma. “So we need to add healing powers to the list?”

“I believe so.” Brainy says as he leans forward on the other sofa. Kate turns to look at him and her eyes narrow.

“Brainiac 5 is it?”

Taken aback Brainy blinks in confusion.

“Emma mentioned you.” Kate explains and looks at all of the Superfriends. “About all of you actually. She really loves you guys.”

The Superfriends glance mournfully at each other and Kate starts examining Emma’s condition.

“Do you need me to move?” Eliza asks while she continues to lovingly stroke Emma’s hair.

“No, you’re fine. Plus I think it will be a good stimulus for her.” Kate gives Eliza a small smile. “How long has she been out?”

“1 hour, 42 minutes and 54 seconds.”

“Emma communicated that you were precise.” Kate mutters and inserts the information in her tablet. She works quickly, taking Emma’s temperature, her blood pressure and compares her notes from the last time she saw Emma. Her heart sinks when she notices how frail Emma is.

“May I look over your findings?” Brainy asks beside her, making Kate almost jump due to not hearing him move next to her.

“Here.” She passes him her tablet and sits against the sofa next to Diana. She manages to keep her expression neutral but her eyes are solemn as she swallows deeply.

“What is it?” Kara asks fearfully. “Is she going to be okay?”

“What do you guys know?” Kate asks, her eyes flick to each member of the group before finally settling on Lena, whose green eyes are still filled with tears. “Has she told you anything?”

A few shake their heads and Kate inhales and exhales deeply.

“We know the Phoenix serum has altered Emma’s DNA, making it more Kryptonian than human.” Alex offers, she glances at the tablet in Brainy's hands, wanting to desperately know what information it holds.

“Correct.” Kate nods.

“So Em will be like me?” Ruby asks Sam in wonder.

“Possibly, baby girl.” Sam answers but keeps staring at Kate. “Why do you look so grave? What aren’t you saying?”

“Yea, cause if that’s the case, Emma will be fine, we just have to train her to safely use her powers and help her through this.” Kara says hopefully, remembering how Emma had been there for her when Kara had to learn to be more human and hide her powers. Now Kara hopes to repay that kindness in showing Emma how to be more Kryptonian.

“If only it were that simple.” Kate says wistfully. “Bruce and I believe Emma’s body cannot cope with this mutation and it’s causing her body to shut down.”

The atmosphere in the room immediately drops.

“Shut- shut down?” Eliza whispers out in shock and her head lowers to gaze at her youngest daughter. “No, please no.”

“What do you mean?” Ruby asks with a frown and notices Alex’s pale face. “Like, she’s dying?”

“I’m afraid so.”

The atmosphere in the room shifts instantly and plunges into stunned silence.

Kara feels sick, her stomach tightens and bubbles as if she is going to vomit. Her chest tightens and she tries to breathe normally. ‘This can’t be right. It just can’t! Emma can’t die! I can’t lose her again! Please Rao, don’t take her from me.’

A sudden shift in a heartbeat grabs her attention as it slows down considerably. She focuses on its location and stares at her best friend beside her. Worry fills her immediately when Lena’s already fair skin tone becomes paler still. “Lee?”

But the raven haired woman doesn’t answer, instead she hobbles to her feet and tries to stumble from the room. But her legs give way and Sam catches her before her head hits the coffee table.

“She’s fainted.” Sam says quietly and Alex jumps into action, having been stunned by Lena’s outburst.

“Her blood pressure must have dropped.” Alex states and places Lena flat on her back. She takes a hold of Lena’s legs and holds them above her shoulders to help blood flow back to her brain. “Can someone open a window?” Alex asks and J’onn opens the nearest window to them.

Diana sits quietly and watches the Superfriends trying to help Lena, as if helping this situation distracts them from Emma.

Nia and Lucy go to the kitchen to make drinks for everyone, Ben sits with Kara who looks ready to keel over herself and Ayla takes Mary into the other room who, thankfully, doesn’t seem to be too affected by what’s happening. Brainy continues to study the tablet intently, his eyes flickering over to Lena every now and then to check on her.

Diana silently prays he can find something, anything, to save Emma. But something else catches her attention and her gaze falls back onto Lena. She notices something glistening by her armpit.

A ring.

Diana narrows her eyes and takes a closer look. ‘An emerald ring? Possibly an engagement ring.’ Diana’s mind whirls and she turns her head to study Emma, trying to remember if her girlfriend had mentioned anything about getting an engagement ring for Lena.

“Hmm.” Lena quietly groans out a few moments later and Diana slowly turns her head back around.

“Lena? Hey, can you hear me?” Alex says softly as she watches Lena’s face twitch and her eyes sluggishly open. “You’re okay, you fainted. Stay lying down for me okay? Take some nice, deep breaths.”

Lena nods and does as Alex tells her. She drowsily turns her head and her gaze falls on Emma. Tears prick her eyes again and the mask she tries to keep in place, cracks and crumbles.

“Hey.” Sam coos and places a comforting hand on Lena’s shaking shoulders. Momentarily tucking Lena’s necklace and the ring back underneath her clothes.

“I did this.” Lena gasps out and keeps her eyes fixed on Emma’s frail face as tears slide down her own.

“No you didn’t.” Sam says firmly.

“Lena, please listen to me. You need to calm down, take nice deep breaths for me.” Alex says as gently as she can and Lena nods in understanding. She draws in a ragged breath but keeps her eyes fixed on Emma.

Diana continues to watch on. Being sat in front of the sofa gives her the perfect view of Lena’s face, the expression when her mask crumbles and Sam tucking the ring away. The demi-goddess swallows deeply and sighs.

“When will she wake up?” Diana asks Kate.

“I don’t know.” Kate responds quietly and Diana turns to look at her. Their eyes communicate silently and Diana’s heart continues to break.

‘If she wakes up.’

The unspoken question hangs in the air and Diana can also sense a simmering anger in the room.

“How do you feel now?” Alex asks Lena, whose eyes look brighter and more alert as she finally tears her gaze away from Emma and looks up at Alex.

“Better.” Lena mutters.

“Still dizzy?”

“A little.”

“Do you feel able to sit up?”

“I think so.”

Alex carefully lowers her legs and with the help of Sam, Lena slowly manages to rise into a sitting position. Sam moves behind Lena, letting Lena rest against her.

“Here.” Nia holds out a water bottle for Lena and she takes it gratefully.

“Drink small sips.” Alex orders and a small smile creeps on Lena’s face.

“Yes Doctor Lexie.”

Alex scoffs and shakes her head as Kara slides onto the floor and pulls the raven haired woman into a hug.

“Can you help me onto the sofa?” Lena asks softly and Kara nods. They settle back on the sofa and Sam sits on the other side of Lena with Ruby snuggling in beside her.

Lena continues to sip her water and nibbles a cookie Lucy gave her. She couldn’t help but chuckle when Kara and Ruby released their puppy dog eyes for one too.

Finally Brainy lowers the tablet, a thoughtful look on his face.

“Find anything?” Kate asks, seemingly noticing too.

“Can we talk in the other room?” Brainy responds and stands, motioning to the dining room. Kate nods and gets up. “Oh and J’onn? Do you want to join us?”

“Why would J’onn join you?” Kara asks, her eyes flickering between the three in confusion.

“At the attack on L-Corp, I placed a tracker on Emma’s suit and followed the signal-”

“You what?” Eliza angrily hisses out but presses her lips together in a thin line. Her hand immediately stills on Emma’s head and Alex can see her Mom holding back her rage.

J’onn also notices this and turns to Brainy. “You don’t need me, everything is within the report.”

Brainy nods and shows Kate to the dining room. The others watch them leave and the room remains silent other than the music softly playing in the background.

Alex wants to tell Brainy and Kate to stay and to discuss what they need to infront of them so she can find out what they know. Instead she swallows deeply and her eyes connect with J’onn’s.

A pang of anger hits her.

He knew.

Shaking her head she makes her way over to her baby sister. Her gaze hardens further when she glances at Diana, still sitting on the floor by Emma’s side, like a guardian. But when Alex looks back at her sister, her eyes soften.

“Alex?” Eliza says through gritted teeth. “Would you like to hold her? I need to start getting dinner ready.”

Alex nods and helps her Mom carefully lift Emma so she can switch with her. Once sat down, Alex gently lays her sister’s head onto her lap and closes her eyes at the memory of the first time she held Emma in her arms. The way she had to have a pillow on her lap because her own arms were too small to hold her newborn sister properly.

‘You were so little, so cute and I loved you the moment I knew you were my sister. I’m sorry Peanut. I’m so, so sorry for failing you.’

“J’onn I said no!”

Alex’s eyes shoot open and she watches her Mom turn away from J’onn.

“Please let me help you.” J’onn says quietly.

“I don’t need your help, I just need to keep busy and make dinner.” Eliza says harshly while taking things out of the cupboard to start the prep work.

“But-”

“No!” Eliza slams the potatoes on the island and the room freezes as Eliza turns on J’onn with a look of pure rage. “You knew about this. You knew Emma, our baby girl, was dying and you. Didn’t. Say. Anything.” Eliza seethes. “You came home and lied to my face that everything was okay, that our daughters were okay, when Emma most certainly ISN’T okay.”

“I begged her to come home with me.” J’onn explains calmly, his eyes pleading with Eliza to listen. “For her to come back and get tested at the DEO but she panicked and almost used heat vision. Bruce had to sedate her, fearing what could happen. She was in so much pain. She was screaming in her mind and going frigid.” J’onn voice cracks with emotion as he remembers that day. “When Emma woke up she told me she wasn’t ready, that she still needed time. She asked me not to say anything, knowing you, and everyone else, would search for her.”

Eliza's face crumples and a sob erupts from her lips. “My baby.” She leans heavily on the island and lowers her head.

J’onn immediately reaches for her and pulls her into a hug. Eliza doesn’t retaliate or push back, instead she clings to him and cries into his shoulder.

The Superfriends turn away to give the couple a moment. Kara sniffs and wipes away her own tears. She rests her head on top of Lena’s and feels her best friend nuzzle into her. Kara looks over at her sisters, of Alex’s sorrowful expression as she gently runs her fingers around Emma’s face. Taking in every detail of their baby sister.

“How about we order pizza?” Kara hears J’onn say softly and looks over to see Eliza nod while wiping the tears from her face.

Soon the pizzas are ordered and arrive swiftly, delivered by an enthusiastic Randy who reminds J’onn about the new years eve party in the town hall. He thanks him gratefully and the pizzas are laid out on the island.

Sam gets her fiancé some slices and hands it to her.

Alex secretly hopes the smell of the pizza will wake her sister up, she even hovers a slice under Emma’s nose, but Emma stays perfectly still on her lap. The only sign she is still alive is the movement of her diaphragm.

“I’ll go get them.” Nia says softly and is soon followed by Brainy and Kate, who have deep frowns and contemplating looks.

“What have you two come up with?” Lucy asks and the pair sit on the stools by the island.

“I still believe, given the evidence, that Emma doesn’t have long left, that her powers, the mutation, is killing her.” Kate says mournfully and everyone's shoulders slump. Kara stops chewing her pizza and lowers her plate, no longer hungry. She feels Lena tense next to her and Kara reaches for her hand, squeezing it gently.

“Whereas I believe the opposite.” Brainy says, making small flickers of hope light up within the room. “Emma has not had a chance to really use or release her powers, correct?” Diana and Kate nod. “So what if, by her not using them, that is what is causing her body to shut down? By not allowing the process to complete? By not expressing her emotions?” Brainy pauses a moment to eat, muling his words over carefully. “For example, with the heat vision, Emma was fearful and it activated, what if she needed to release it for the mutation to further progress and heal her? For her to accept her emotions?”

“But you saw yourself what happened after she used freeze breath on the cake.” Diana points out. “Her nose started to bleed or when she used superspeed and this healing ability, it caused her to have a seizure and fall unconscious.”

“Which may not have happened if you had been honest with us from the start and called us!” Alex snaps and Diana’s nostrils flare.

“Please don’t.” Nia yells, halting the two. “Fighting won’t help Emma.”

Everyone looks over at the sleeping blonde.

Emma doesn’t stir once.

The Superfriends continue discussing the theories and J’onn shares Alistair's theory of Emma’s emotions being tied to her powers. Ayla puts Mary to bed in Emma’s room so she can support Winn and a few hours later Ruby is yawning too. Causing Sam to kiss the top of Ruby’s head, who has clung to her like a koala bear. “Come on Rubes, time for bed.”

The teen sighs but she gets up to say goodnight to everyone, knowing she wouldn’t be able to argue with her Moms’, aunts’ and uncles’. After hugging Nia, Ruby looks unsurely over at Emma, still lying unconscious on the sofa.

“Do you want to say goodnight to her?” Nia asks and Ruby nods. “Why don’t I go over with you?”

Ruby nods again and Nia takes her hand and leads the teen over.

“Goodnight Ruby.” Diana says as she stands to give the teen a hug.

“She looks like she’s sleeping.” Ruby comments sadly and Diana nods in agreement.

“Hmm, like sleeping beauty.” Nia jokes and reaches out to gently move a stray hair away from Emma’s face.

But as soon as her hand touches Emma’s skin, Nia collapses forward and almost faceplants into Alex.

“Wow!” Diana yelps, catching the brunette and manages to pull Nia back towards her. “Nia!”

The other Superfriends look over in alarm.

“What was that?!” Nia yells and looks at the demi-goddess with wide eyes.

“You started to collapse-”

“No, it’s not that.” Nia straightens up and starts pacing the space around the sofas, a look of concentration on her face.

“Nia?” Kara asks softly.

“I touched her.”

“Yes you did.” Alex confirms.

“And when I touched her I-” Nia motions with her hands to try and elaborate. “I heard her screaming, like I was being pulled into her dream state.”

Diana quickly places her hand on Emma’s head and her hands. “Nothing’s happening.”

“Well it wouldn’t.” Brainy says and Diana turns to him. “It may possibly be linked to Nia’s powers.”

“And you said you saw Emma when she was missing? In your dreams? That you spoke to her?” Lucy motions and Nia nods.

“Could you try again?” Eliza asks hopefully. “Maybe you can wake her up?”

Nia exhales deeply, a look of fear and nerves on her face. “Okay.” She makes her way over and Alex moves to allow Nia to sit next to Emma, placing a pillow underneath her head.

Everyone watches with bated breath as she slowly reaches for Emma’s cheek.

“If I’m not awake in fifteen minutes, remove my hand.” She says without looking at any of them. As soon as her fingers connect with Emma’s skin, Nia slumps next to her as if in a deep sleep.

Brainy and Kate approach to analyse the two women.

“Is this just Nia’s powers? Or both?” Kate asks and Brainy runs a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know.” He says in frustration. “It is possible Emma has other powers we cannot comprehend yet.”

Kate lowers her head to think, biting the inside of her lip. She finally turns to Lucy. “What did you mean? When you said that Nia saw Emma in her dreams?”

“Just that. I was hanging out with Nia and she kept falling asleep. She eventually told me what was happening, through a lot of pestering from me, and at first we thought it was because she was thinking of her or she was worried about her. But then the dreams kept coming and were-” Lucy pauses and her eyes glance over at Lena before focusing back on Kate. “Explicit in nature. Other times it was the most horrific sounding nightmares, of shadows chasing her or reimaginings of the attack but involving all of us.” Lucy swallows, remembering how shaken Nia had been after one such night.

“Yes, she would wake up screaming.” Brainy says sadly as he gazes lovingly at Nia. “But she was determined to be there for Emma and when they spoke, I had never seen Nia so happy.”

“Why didn’t you guys say anything?” Kara asks, feeling slightly hurt by the secrets.

“As Lucy said, we didn’t realise what was going on at first. When Emma became aware of Nia’s presence the dreams had lessened and we felt it best not to discuss it. These were sometimes very private moments for Emma and we wanted to honour that.” Brainy tries to explain and Lucy nods.

Alex takes a deep breath, trying to suppress her emotions. ‘Now is not the time.’ She imagines what Lena told her one time, putting her emotions in little boxes and burying them deep to be sorted out another time.

“It’s been fifteen minutes.” Kara says quietly while she watches Nia and Emma. Waiting for any sign or movement that they were waking up. She reaches out to remove Nia’s hand.

“Don’t touch her skin.” Brainy warns, so Kara moves Nia’s arm using her clothing. As soon as the skin contact is gone, Nia jumps awake.

“EMMA!” She screams and bolts upright, her eyes wide in alarm. “No! I need to go back! They are killing her! She’s going to die!”

Kara catches Nia’s hand. “Wow, Nia breathe, who is hurting her?!”

“You, Alex, everyone! We’re attacking her and she can’t break free!”

“We all have to go in and save her.” Kara pleads with Alex who nods.

“Who isn’t there?” Alex asks quickly.

“Ruby, Ayla, Mary, Kate and Diana.”

Diana frowns deeply at this and gazes at Emma.

“We could form a chain.” Brainy says more to himself as he looks around at the group. “Everyone, get comfortable and hold hands.” Brainy orders and the Superfriends move to sit on the sofas and floor. They link hands as Nia waits.

“Go for your doppelganger and keep them off her. She hasn’t got long left. Remember it’s the dream realm where you can imagine a weapon or powers to defeat them.”

Everyone nods in understanding.

“How long shall we wait?” Kate asks and gets her phone to set a timer.

“Sunrise.” Nia says, hoping it will give them enough time, sensing the danger if they or Emma stay in the dream realm too long.

“Rubes, go to bed please.” Sam orders and looks over at Ayla who nods that she will see to it.

“Good luck.” Ruby says as Nia touches Emma’s face again and the world fades around them.

– – –

Noise explodes around them of harsh yells and Emma’s screams. The Superfriends are standing in Emma’s old apartment in National City, but the room was far larger than it should be. In the middle of the room they see their doppelgangers attacking Emma, both physically and mentally. Hurling fists and verbally abusing her.

Alex sees herself repeatedly hitting Emma in the stomach as she’s being held up by Kara and Lena. Blood pours from Emma’s mouth. “You are worthless! Why do I put up with you?! You are nothing!” Her doppelganger screams and Alex immediately charges at her, throwing her away from her sobbing sister.

“Leave her alone!” Alex yells and the pair fight but mostly block each other's attacks, knowing each other too well. The Superfriends do the same and charge at their doubles. Emma crumbles to the floor as blood continues to pour from her body and she curls into herself.

A loud cracking fills the room as Kara flings her doppelganger through the windows and flies after her. Sam, J’onn and Brainy do the same and battling theirs around the dream realm of National City, colliding with buildings and each other.

“What’s wrong Alex? You know she’s a spoiled brat and we’d be so much better without her!”

“Shut up!” Alex yells enraged at the words and aims for the jaw, only for her double to block it again.

“She is better off dead! We’ll be free of her!”

“No! She’s my sister! I cannot imagine a world without her in it. She. Is. Everything!”

Suddenly a shotgun sounds and Alex whips her head around to see her Mom standing over her double with a thunderous look on her face. This immediately melts away when Eliza looks over to her fallen daughter and rushes to her.

Immediately Alex imagines her pistol in her hand and feels the cool metal. She shoots her double in the head without a second thought.

“Kara?” Alex lifts her hand to her ear and imagines a communication device.

“Alex?!” Kara’s voice calls out.

“Imagine a gun with Kryptonite and shoot her!”

“O-okay.”

Alex listens intently, missing her Mom calling to her and hears a blast from a laser gun.

“I, I did it.”

“Great, tell the others and come back here.” Alex orders and hears Lena’s double scream.

“She is worthless! Not even worthy enough to be the dirt beneath our feet!” Lena’s double snarls back at Lena, who has a look of pure rage on her face as her double taunts her.

“You are wrong! She is everything! She is worth more than any kind of wealth and I-” Lena pulls her arms back and flings them forward, a burst of light shoots out from them and her double hurls through the apartment and through many walls. Lena chases after her and Alex goes to move to help but her feet won’t work.

“What the hell?”

“Alex!” Her Mom calls again and finally the redhead hears her.

“Mom?” Alex frowns at how her Mom is standing, as if frozen in mid stride.

“I can’t move.”

“Neither can I.” Alex calls back.

“Alex? What’s wrong?” Kara’s voice asks over the speaker.

“I can’t move.”

“Me either.” Ben calls out.

“Or me.” Lucy says, panicked by what that could mean, she was so close to getting to Emma.

“It’s okay, just keep calm.” Eliza orders and her eyes go to her youngest daughter in front of her. Curled up into a tight ball with blood pooling dangerously around her. Small little whimpers can be heard from her lips as her body shakes. A sound the Superfriends never wanted to hear. “Emma, sweetheart? Can you hear me?”

But Emma doesn’t respond.

“Alex?” Kara calls again as she lands in the apartment with the others. They rush to Alex’s side, but as soon as they get closer, their bodies freeze too. “Wow what?!”

“It’s Emma, she’s keeping us back.” Nia says with a frown.

“Emma, please, we want to help you.” Alex calls.

“I’m worthless.” Emma’s voice whispers out and her sobs fill the room.

Tears fill Alex’s eyes at hearing her sister’s voice and how it sounds so defeated, so broken.

“No! Sweetheart, please, don’t listen to the negative voices! You are so precious! To all of us!”

“A burden.”

“You are not a burden! You never have or ever could be a burden!” Lucy yells out, desperately trying to get closer to her friend.

“So stupid, an idiot.”

“You are one of the smartest people I know!” Brainy shouts passionately, tears filling his eyes. “Your songwriting, the way you weave it together, I could never possess such talent.”

Over and over Emma would speak out her innermost thoughts and her family and friends would counter it with words of love.

“Nothing more than a distraction.”

At that moment Lena limps back into the apartment, her face bloodied and curly hair pulled free of her tight ponytail.

“Em.” Lena whispers out and Emma immediately curls up tighter. No doubt causing her much pain.

Lena determinedly limps on and passes the Superfriends.

“What the hell?” Alex exclaims and watches Lena kneel in front of her sister, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Emma flinches violently and cries out. “Please don’t hurt me!”

“You are never a distraction.” Lena’s voice shakes and a tear slides down her cheek. “You never were. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Another tear rolls down Lena’s cheek and lands on Emma’s face. “You are never a burden, I would do anything to be able to lie beside you again. To hear about your day, the funny stories you tell, the details you notice in a room or on the street.” Lena swallows and sucks in her lips to stop herself from crying. She watches as Emma starts to slightly relax. “You are not stupid but the most brilliant, caring and loving person I know. You see people, you see their worth, what makes them tick and unique. Your heart is pure gold. You are not worthless, never in a million years have you ever been worthless. Your worth shines like the sun, giving warmth and light to all of those around you. Even in their darkness, you shine.”

Slowly Emma lifts her head and gazes sadly up at Lena. Her face, bloodied and bruised. Almost unrecognisable “You hate me.”

The words break everyone's heart as it fills the room.

“No love.” Lena says, holding the sides of Emma’s face. “The opposite in fact. I lo-”

– – –

Alex snaps her eyes open and finds herself back in the Danvers house.

“No!” Alex sits up, her head snaps to Emma and sees that Kate has removed Nia’s hand. “It can’t be sunrise already?” Alex looks out of the window and surely enough, sees the brightening sky.

“Astéri?” Diana leans over Emma as she and the Superfriends hold their breath. “Come on Emma, please.”

Kate hovers over Emma too. She presses her fingers to Emma’s pulse but eventually she sits back on her heels and looks up at the ceiling in defeat.

“No!” Alex stands and rushes over to her sister. “Come on Em, please. We have to go back in.” Alex looks at Nia and back at Brainy. “We have to!”

“We can’t.” Nia’s eyes fill with tears and everyone’s stomachs drop. “She’s-”

“Oh thank the gods!” Diana yells and bursts into tears as Emma’s eyes start to flicker open.

Alex’s knees give way at the sight and she collapses to the floor in relief.

“Emma?” Kate moves to the blonde’s side and shines a torch in front of her eyes. “Can you hear me?”

Emma nods and exhales a long, heavy breath, stretching her body like a cat. Something that makes everyone smile, despite the situation.

Diana sniffs, making Emma’s eyes pop open fully. Her eyebrows knit together as she studies Diana’s face. Slowly the blonde reaches up and runs her fingers gently around the bruising still on Diana’s face.

“It doesn’t matter.” Diana gulps out and kisses Emma’s hand. “What matters is that you are awake.”

Emma’s eyes still question her and she turns her head to look at Kara and back to Diana. Suddenly she realises Kate is next to her and gapes at her friend.

“You collapsed and had another seizure. Diana contacted me and I came right away.” Kate explains. “Can you follow the light for me?”

Emma does and Kate performs a few more tests.

Emma’s mind whirls. ‘They know.’ Panic slowly creeps into her every pore.

“Can you sit up for me?” Kate asks and Diana helps Emma up. The blond reaches to push her hair behind her ear and freezes. She doesn’t feel the modifier on her helix.

“Yea, we took it off.” Alex explains and Emma slowly lifts her head to gaze at her sister. Noticing the disappointment and anger within Alex’s eyes. Suddenly a blinding pain rips through her head, making Emma winch and cup her forehead. “Em?!”

“Emma? What’s wrong?” Kate asks as the other Superfriends react in alarm.

‘My head.’ Emma grits out in her mind.

“It’s her head.” J’onn explains and gets closer to her.

“Emma, what are you feeling emotionally?” Brainy asks softly.

‘Frightened.’

“She feels frightened.” J’onn repeats sadly and Alex lowers her head, trying to get a hold of her emotions.

Finding she is unable to, Alex gets up and leaves the room.

“Alex?” Sam calls after her and follows her fiancé from the room. Kara’s head goes back and forth between her sisters, wondering if she should stay with Emma or follow Alex. She decides to stay and hesitantly approaches to sit next to Emma.

As soon as Alex enters the office where she and Sam are sleeping, Alex breaks down.

“Hey.” Sam coos and pulls Alex into a hug. “I got you, it’s okay.”

“No it’s not. I caused her pain. She almost died! Again!” Alex cries out and Sam guides her to sit on the bed. “I’m so relieved that Emma is awake, but I’m so angry that she hasn't shared how ill she is. That’s she fucking dying and knew about it and didn’t fucking tell me!” Alex slams her hand repeatedly on her thigh. “I knew something was wrong, I knew it!”

“We all did.” Sam says mournfully and rests her forehead against Alex’s. “Your feelings are valid, completely and utterly vaid, but we need to help her. If Brainy is right, this could save her.” Sam takes a deep breath in, unable to comprehend what she is about to say. “If not, we need to make these last few moments with her as peaceful as we can.”

“I don’t, I can’t-” Alex gulps out.

“Can’t what, babe?”

“I can’t lose her.” Alex finally whispers and sobs.

“Oh Al.” Sam engulfs the redhead in a hug.

Downstairs Emma closes her eyes after hearing Alex’s cries.

“Are you in pain?” Kara asks worriedly.

Emma shakes her head and takes a deep breath as she opens her eyes again. Alex was hurting and it was her fault.

“Are you sure?” Kara presses and Emma rests her head on her sister’s shoulder.

“Kara, she’s okay.” J’onn calls from the kitchen as he helps Eliza cook breakfast.

‘Thanks J’onn.’

J’onn nods and gives her a small smile.

“So you don’t remember anything from when you were unconscious?” Brainy asks as he types away on the tablet and Emma shakes her head. She doesn’t notice Lena lowering her head in dismay, but Diana does.

“I’m glad you don’t.” Kara whispers and hugs Emma tighter, she hated seeing the sight of Emma covered in blood and bruises.

Emma frowns at Kara’s response and goes to ask when suddenly a sound like a herd of elephants crashes down the stairs and Ruby suddenly appears in the doorway.

“Emma! You’re awake!” She yells happily and rushes to the blonde. Emma smiles and holds out her arms for Ruby to hug her. “I was so worried you wouldn’t wake up, but I’m so glad you are! Everyone saved you!”

Pulling back Emma tilts her head questioningly.

“Well Nia touched you and collapsed falling into your dream and when she was woken up she said everyone needed to help get you out, so everyone held hands and Nia touched you again and everyone fell asleep at once, which was so weird, I then had to go to bed so I didn’t see what happened when you woke up but here you are!”

“Wow Rubes! Take a breath!” Sam jokes as she walks into the room, hand in hand with Alex.

Emma slowly nods and looks at her friends. “Thank you.” Her gaze falls on Nia who gives her a tearful smile.

“That’s what friends are for.”

Emma nods again, her eyes finding Alex’s bloodshot ones.

“We can all discuss this later because breakfast is ready!” Eliza announces.

“What do you want?” Diana asks Emma, making her pull her gaze away from her sister. “A bit of everything?”

Emma nods, despite not feeling hungry. All she really wants to do is go back to sleep so she closes her eyes to rest them for a moment. Her body aches and mind buzzes with nervous energy. Knowing she’ll need to explain herself. Although a weight has been lifted from her shoulders, she doesn’t need to hide her condition anymore.

“Hey Peanut.” Alex says softly and Emma snaps her eyes open. She sees her sister holding out a plate of food. “Can I sit with you?”

Emma nods and Alex settles beside her, quickly followed by Kara. Emma places a kiss on each of their shoulders and starts picking at her food.

She feels warmth spread through her and the hairs on the back of her neck prick up. Emma looks up and sees Lena staring at her. Their eyes connect briefly before Lena snaps her gaze away to focus on her food.

Emma swallows deeply, lowers her head and continues eating. The Superfriends chat amongst themselves and Emma tunes in and out. Until she hears Brainy and Kate debating from across the room.

“I do believe we need to start unlocking her powers.” Brainy says quietly.

“And what if that kills her? We can’t take such a risk.” Kate seethes back.

Emma exhales heavily and slams her plate on the coffee table, making the plate crack in two and causing everyone to jump in surprise. Emma stumbles to her feet and she marches over to the pair. Her sisters and Diana call after her.

“Can you both just stop?” Emma signs angrily. “Let's try it.”

“But Em-”

But Emma interrupts Kate with a flurry of her hand. “What does it matter? I’m dying anyway!”

“If you’re sure?” Brainy asks quietly.

“Sure about what?” Alex asks from behind Emma having not seen Emma’s signs.

“I believe we should start to unlock Emma’s powers, help her use them properly. Kate disagrees but Emma wants to try.”

“No! I’m with Kate on this one!” Alex says fiercely and Kara looks torn after hearing the exchange from across the room.

Emma turns to her sister and leans heavily against the island. “Alex, I’m dying, I can feel it. Isn’t it better we at least try?”

Alex's face scrunches up as tears prick her eyes.

Immediately Emma pushes herself off the island and hugs her sister. She feels Alex shake and let out small whimpers. Looking over Alex’s head, Emma sees Kara shuffling on her feet, Emma reaches out her hand, causing Kara to zip over to them and soon each of the Superfriends join in for a group hug.

– – –

“Are you sure this is a good idea? Should we wait for tomorrow? Let her rest more?” Diana asks Brainy as they walk outside to begin unlocking Emma’s powers.

“But then it will be christmas eve eve which will make the next day christmas eve.” Nia tries to explain but Diana just blinks in confusion.

“I promise, if there is any sign of any harm to Emma, we will stop.” Brainy says, trying to reassure Diana.

The Superfriends build a fire pit and roast a few marshmallows with hot chocolate. They banter and try to discuss any issue to distract from what is about to happen.

But Emma doesn’t listen and tries to calm her breathing. She stares deeply into the flames, mesmerised by the movement.

“Astéri?” She hears Diana’s warm voice. “Are you okay?”

Emma nods and keeps staring, her mug still mostly full of cooling hot chocolate.

Soon Brainy adds more logs to the fire and really gets it burning. “Okay, shall we begin?” Brainy asks and everyone stands to move out of the way, wanting to be there to support her. “Emma, see if you can freeze or blow out the fire.”

Emma nods and shakes herself to release her nerves. She blows but nothing happens.

“That’s okay.” Brainy tries to reassure her. “Try again.

Emma tries a few more times. But nothing happens.

“Think back to the moment before you blew out the candles. What were you feeling or imagining?” Kara asks helpfully.

Emma closes her eyes. ‘My voice, my sisters, my- Lena.’ The same pang of longing hits her and she inhales deeply, releasing a gust of wind from her mouth.

“Alright!” Ben yells happily and Emma opens her eyes. The roaring fire was now frozen solid.

‘Wow.’ Emma thinks. ‘I did that?’

“Sure did kiddo.” J’onn says and smiles at her.

Suddenly Emma sways and feels Kara catch her.

“Em?!”

‘I’m fine, I feel okay. Just felt dizzy for a second.’

J’onn repeats her words but Kara holds on.

‘Kar, I’m okay. I promise.’ Emma thinks out and J’onn tries to reassure the Kryptonian.

Hesitantly Kara lets go.

Brainy builds a few more fires and each time Emma is able to either freeze them or blow them out completely.

“Go Em!” Ruby cheers and the blonde beams at her.

“Okay, what about healing?” Kate asks as she taps on her tablet.

“Surely Emma has done enough for today?” Diana asks as she places a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“I want to keep going. But how can we do healing?”

“Like this!” Lucy says before grabbing a knife and slicing her hand open. Leaving a deep cut across her palm.

“LUCY!” Kara screams and the others surround her. Emma stares in shock as blood pours from Lucy’s hand.

“Get out of the way!” Lucy pushes through and holds out her now clenched hand to Emma. “Looking a little pale there Em, you okay?”

Emma takes a deep breath in and nods. She has never liked the sight of blood. But Lucy needs her.

Slowly she reaches out and places both hands either side of Lucy’s.

She focuses on wanting to heal Lucy, to stop the bleeding.

Immediately Emma’s hands start to glow and they both feel a indescribable warmth spread between them.

“Holy shit.”

The Superfriends stare in wonder.

“Open your hand.” Alex says to Lucy and the brunette manages to open it while Emma still holds it. They watch in awe as the skin on Lucy’s palm knits back together.

What they don’t notice is Emma’s face partly filling out, or her hair and eyes brightening ever so slightly in colour.

The Superfriends cheer and Emma turns over Lucy’s hand in amazement.

“Please don’t do anything like that again.”

“It worked though, right?!” Lucy giggles and Emma shakes her head in amusement, pulling her friend into a hug.

“Okay, how about a real test.” Sam asks and tilts her head.

“What do you mean babe?” Alex asks with a frown.

“Why don’t we go for a run? Last one back here from Canada is a rotten egg!” Sam yells and takes off.

Emma immediately starts sprinting after her, quickly becoming a blur.

“Hey! Wait for me!” Kara yells and takes off after them.

“No Rubes.” Alex grabs a hold of her daughter’s shoulder.

“Aw Ma!” Ruby protests loudly.

“No, your powers still aren’t fully formed yet.”

“Okay.” Ruby mumbles as the Superfriends head back into the house to track Sam, Kara and Emma’s phones.

“Five bucks on Kara.” Ben calls out as they gather around the monitor.

“Nah, Sam is gonna wipe both of them out.” Alex counters while taking a sip of her non alcoholic beer.

“I think you’re both wrong.” Lena speaks out without thinking.

“Oh? And what does miss high and mighty C.E.O think?” Kate teases her rival.

“It will be Emma. Her powers are newer and she was pretty quick, even as a human.” Lena explains, not noticing Diana paying close attention to her.

“Yea! She has loads of medals in her room for running.” Ruby agrees and the Superfriends place their bets as they watch the screen.

The three dots reach Canada almost at the same time and speed back to their location. Suddenly one of the dots speeds on ahead.

“Wow.” Winn breathes out as he looks at the data.

“Whose is that?”

“It’s Emma’s.”

When Emma’s dot gets closer some of the group rush outside to watch. Suddenly there is a blazing light and huge crash as Emma skids across the ground, bringing up lots of mud and earth, creating a small crater.

“Emma!”

The others rush out at the sound and see Emma, who is still face down, in the dirt.

“Emma?!” Diana yells and kneels next to the downed blonde, her worry increasing when she notices her shoulders shaking. “Are you okay?”

Emma lifts her head and lets out silent laughter. Diana breathes out in relief.

“What happened?!” Kara suddenly appears and stares at the crater. Emma sits up on her knees and starts to sign.

“I need to learn how to stop.” Emma signs with a beaming smile. “That felt so good!”

“How did you catch up to me so quickly?” Sam asks and Emma shrugs.

“Forget that! How did you pull away from us so easily?!” Kara crosses her arms and glares at her sister.

Emma tilts her head and smirks at Kara’s competitive pose. “I do not know, maybe I-” Everything suddenly shifts around her and Emma sways.

“Em?” Diana steadies her and looks worriedly at Kate.

“I think that’s enough for today.”

“No, I want to continue.”

“We can do more tomorrow.” Brainy promises and Emma’s shoulders drop. “You did well.”

Emma smiles and Diana helps her up. She takes a deep breath in and looks towards the sea and the setting sun.

“Come on Sweetheart, let's get you inside.” Eliza wraps an arm around her daughter’s waist and they walk in together.

For some reason Emma looks over at J’onn and frowns. She senses a tension between them. She turns to her sisters and motions for them to follow her.

“Sweetheart? Where are we going?” Eliza asks but Emma continues to lead them to her room and superspeeds out of her muddy clothes and into clean ones. Making sure to put on the Supergirl hoodie Ruby bought her. She sits on the bed and pats it, signalling for the others to join her.

“What happened with J’onn?” Emma signs and Alex interprets.

Emma immediately notices the shift in her Mom, the guard that flies up.

“We had a disagreement.” Eliza says matter of factly, not looking at her daughter and picks at some fuzz on Emma’s duvet sheet.

Emma narrows her eyes. “About when he found me?”

Eliza makes eye contact with Emma. “How?”

“Just a guess.” Emma signs and takes a deep breath. She positions herself so she can see all three of them. “Please do not be angry at him. I begged him not to say anything to any of you, which he did not like, but he respected my wishes.” Emma reaches for her Mom’s hand and squeezes.

“I’m still angry at him, but we will work through it. You mean the world to me, you all do. I guess my mama bear came out.”

Emma smiles. “Thank you. Also, the same could be said about Diana.” Emma’s eyes focus on Kara who fidgets slightly. “Why did you attack her?”

“I-” Kara bites her lips and looks down at her hands. Remembering watching Diana fly through the air and disappear into the forest after she punched her. How exhilarated she felt but the guilt that replaced it when J’onn and Sam stopped her. Gentle fingers touch her chin and raise her head again. Emma’s compassionate eyes pour into her. “I was so angry when she admitted that she had seen you have a seizure before and then seeing your real face without the modifier, I just snapped.” Kara runs her hands on her thighs and lets out a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Have you apologised to her?”

“No, not yet. I was going to and then Kate suddenly appeared and everything was so intense and-”

Emma places her hands on Kara’s and gives her a reassuring nod. Her eyes then move to Alex. Sensing she wanted to ask her a question.

“Why? Why did you not tell us as soon as you got home? Why did you wait so long to come home?”

“I was not ready. In a way, I do not think I ever would have ever been ready. But seeing your videos, knowing I was missing you getting engaged and everything happening in your lives-” Emma’s eyes fill with tears as she gazes at her family. “I wanted to tell you straight away, it was killing me not too but I was so scared. Like telling you would make it more real. I am sorry. I love you all so much.”

As soon as Alex finishes interpreting, Eliza reaches out and pulls Emma into a hug. The other two join either side of them and they lay down on the bed. Something they haven’t done in a very long time.

“We love you too Sweetheart.” Eliza whispers and kisses her daughter’s forehead. Emma buries her head into her Mom’s neck and sighs happily.

“Ditto.” Alex whispers and kisses the back of Emma’s head.

“Double ditto.” Kara says and reaches for Emma’s shoulder to squeeze. Emma smiles and snuggles further into her Mom.

They stay content in each other's arms for a while and listen to the birds outside.

Until Emma’s rumbling stomach breaks through the quiet. Eliza, Kara and Alex lift their heads up and laugh loudly.

“Uh oh! The hangry monster is out!”

Soon they find they are unable to stop laughing and Emma silently laughs with them.

Suddenly Kara stops and sits up to stare at Emma. Both of their eyes are wide and Emma’s hand shoots up to her throat.

“Kara?” Alex gazes at her sister in concern. “What’s wrong?”

But Kara remains staring at Emma. A look of wonder on her face.

“Little one, you- I-”

Emma slowly lifts herself up from the bed, still holding her throat.

“Baby girl?” Eliza worriedly asks and also sits up. Alex follows her actions and  shuffles around Emma to see her properly. The first thing Alex notices is the tears within Emma’s eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alex asks softly.

“I felt something.” Emma signs hesitantly.

“Like what?” Eliza says and tilts her head.

“Like a vibration.”

“In your throat?” Alex asks quietly, she almost stops breathing.

“Can you do it again?” Kara asks excitedly.

Worry fills Emma’s eyes. She places her hand on her throat again and gently massages it.

But nothing happens as Emma tries to engage her vocal chords. Emma’s shoulders slump in defeat.

“It just happened and went as quickly as it came.” Emma signs sadly.

“But it’s something.” Eliza smiles at her daughter and pulls her into a hug. Alex and Kara immediately join in and smile into the hug.

A soft knock sounds on the door making the Danvers pull apart. “Come in.”

Ben pokes his head into the room and smiles at them. “Dinner will be ready soon.”

“Thanks honey.” Kara beams at him and jumps off the bed. Making Emma glance at Alex and they both silently snicker at how cute they are. Eliza follows Kara, leaving Alex and Emma in the room.

Alex goes to get up but feels Emma take her hand and she turns back to her sister. “Em?”

“What happened in my dream?” Emma signs.

“What do you remember?”

“Nothing really. Pain, flashes, voices.”

Alex slightly purses her lips forward as she debates what to say. “We, er, went in and defeated our dopplegangers, who were harming you.” Alex explains simply. “Oh, you should have seen Mom, she materialised a shotgun and fired it at hers!”

Emma listens and her eyes squint slightly. Noticing immediately her sister isn’t revealing everything. She lifts her hands to respond when they hear their Mom yell from downstairs.

“Alex! Emma! Dinner time!”

“We’re coming!” Alex shouts back and she helps Emma off the bed. “What matters is we got you out of there. I love you Peanut.” She places an arm around Emma’s shoulders as they make their way downstairs to the dining room. She smiles at feeling Emma squeeze her arm three times.

Once they enter the room they are immediately greeted by the heavenly smells of sausages, buttery mash potatoes and vegetables.

“Emma!” Ruby yells and the blonde signs Ruby’s name with a big grin.

“Oh, Kate had to go, something about a girls night with Harley and Ivy? But she’ll catch up with you at some point.” Lucy tells Emma as she passes her, Emma nods in understanding and continues on to her chair.

Diana smiles up at Emma as she sits down. “How are you feeling?”

Emma kisses Diana’s lips and lifts her hands to sign. “Tired, but I’m okay.” As if on cue Emma yawns deeply and places her head on Diana’s shoulder. She smiles lightly at how the pounding in her head has lessened and hopes that Brainy’s theory is correct. But part of her can’t help but worry too. What would she have to emotionally deal with? What if they get so far but fail. What if she dies anyway?

Her mind goes back to the feeling in her throat. The sudden vibration that startled her after not having felt anything like that since the attack.

Part of her wants to announce what happened to the table, to Diana, but what if it was a fluke?

She does notice her Mom and sisters keep glancing over at her with hopeful smiles and she takes Diana’s hand to keep herself grounded.

The food is laid out on the table and Diana plates up for both of them. Discussions begin about what the plans are for the next few days.

“Due to everything I forgot to tell you that Cora was happy to do a dance class with us tomorrow.” Eliza explains.

“Dance?!” Kara stares wide eyed.

“For what?” Alex frowns, her fork close to her lips.

“For the wedding.” Eliza says with raised eyebrows.

“Oh! Yea, sorry I forgot we were looking into that.”

“Whose Cora?” Diana asks with a grin as Emma picks at her mash potato with a fork.

“She was Emma’s dance teacher, she never forgave Em for not going pro.”

Emma shakes her head, remembering the utter look of betrayal on her teacher's face when she decided to pursue music instead.

“Her son, Derek, also Randy’s brother, runs the school now.” Eliza smiles at her youngest daughter. “You remember Derek, right Sweetheart?”

Emma’s cheeks colour slightly as she nods.

“Wasn’t he your first crush?” Alex asks and unfortunately Kara chose to take that moment to sip her drink, causing herself to somehow choke as she inhaled a lot of air in surprise.

“Babe? Are you okay?” Ben asks in concern, watching Kara regain control of her breathing.

Emma gives her a warning look, which Kara promptly ignores.

“First crush? Don’t you mean first kiss?” Kara laughs and Emma drops her head into her hands.

“What?” Alex says with wide eyes.

“Yea! I caught them kissing under the bleachers at one of their dance competitions!”

Emma’s head sinks lower onto the table and she bangs it a few times.

“Aww! Emma’s first boyfriend!” Lucy teases and Emma snaps her head to glower at her.

“Does he still have long hair?” Alex asks. “I know Em can’t resist a ponytail.” She tries not to pointedly look at Lena.

“I believe so. He had to retire way before his time due to injury. Poor thing, his heart was broken when Emma left.” Eliza continues and Emma goes to get up. “Emma. Sit down.”

Emma does so and crosses her arms tightly over her chest. Her cheeks flushed with colour.

“Aww we are only teasing you Peanut.” Alex chuckles and notices Lena’s cheeks are slightly coloured too.

“So, can we still go?” Sam asks, trying to draw the attention away from her soon to be sister.

“Yes, we have at least two hours with them and they are happy for as many of us to come.”

“Sweet!” Ben beams. “Maybe we can do a tango?” He asks Kara who quickly shakes her head.

“Better ask Em to do that with you.”

“Oh I’m sure Derek will be first in line.” Alex snorts and Emma rolls her eyes.

“Well, he’ll have to go through me.” Diana says with a cocked eyebrow. “We danced a lot in Europe, the tango is one of our favourites, right Astéri?” She explains and laces her fingers with Emma. The blonde nods and smiles. But then Diana glances down to her almost full plate. She leans closer and whispers gently. “You need to eat more. You haven’t touched your sausages.”

Emma nods and the discussion moves onto the plans for christmas day. Emma listens while she cuts her sausages up and her mouth drools in anticipation.

“Mary will most likely be up early in the morning and we can portal over later when everyone is up?” Winn suggests and Eliza laughs.

“You are very welcome to stay as I think you’d find a few others who wake up early on christmas morning.” She looks pointedly at Kara who beams back at her.

Emma silently chuckles as she lifts the fork to her lips and takes a bite. A rumble of satisfaction emits from her chest, but it grows and a soft moan escapes her lips.

Everyone freezes and Emma drops her fork in surprise. She lifts her hand up to her throat in astonishment.

“Em?” Diana breathes out. “Did you-”

“That moan-” Lucy pauses, too scared to finish the words.

“It was from Emma.” Sam states and a smile grows across her face.

“Can you do it again?” Diana asks eagerly and Emma’s eyes find Alex’s.

“Emma felt something upstairs, like a vibration in her vocal chords.”

“That is a good sign.” Brainy says with a relieved smile. “But it is best not to push it. Let it happen naturally.”

Emma nods and picks her fork back up. Aware of how painstakingly quiet the room is.

“So, film night or game night?” Lena says to break the undeniable tension and Emma gives her a grateful smile. She doesn’t miss the sudden spike in Lena’s heartbeat when she does.

The Superfriends debate about what they want to do for the evening. Emma has the last, deciding vote and chooses a game night, knowing if she tries to watch a film she will be asleep within moments.

Soon dessert is served and the game of monopoly gets set up. The teams are chosen and the game begins.

It’s a brutal session as some teams get bankrupt early in the game, while others cling on. But finally, the last two surviving teams are Emma and Diana versus Lucy and Lena.

“Just give up Danvers.” Lucy says threateningly to Emma. But the blonde smirks at her and hands over most of her team’s money to the banker. She settles back in her seat as Diana places a property on Mayfair.

“That was careless.” Lena mutters and tilts her head, as if trying to read what Emma’s plans are. Emma’s eyes flick over to her and her smirk deepens.

“We shall see.”

The team’s roll a few more times and manage to mostly avoid each other’s properties. Although Emma and Diana have taken a few hits on Lena and Lucy’s smaller ones.

“Your end is near!” Lucy chuckles as she takes more of their money.

Lena picks up the dice and shakes them in her hand.

“It’s okay, we are all good. Just do not roll a six or an eight.” Lucy says encouragingly and chants. “Not a six or an eight, not a six or an eight!”

Others join in the chant and start to clap and bang the table. Emma watches with bated breath as Lena rolls the dice.

Two fours are revealed.

“NOOOO!” Lucy yells and Lena slams her head on the table. “I said NOT an eight!”

Emma voicelessly chuckles and watches Diana take the other team’s money, bankrupting them. “We thank you kindly.”

“Well done Diana and Emma!” Ruby claps and yawns.

“Bed time.” Sam announces and Ruby nods, the excitement of today catching up to her.

“Can I read for a bit?”

“Sure.”

“I’m gonna head to bed too.” Emma signs and yawns as well. Momentarily removing her glasses to rub her tired eyes.

“Okay if I come up with you?” Diana asks quietly and Emma nods with a small smile.

Goodnights are said and everyone hugs Emma a bit tighter that night. Emma hesitantly approaches her ex and tries to ignore how her body erupts into warmth as Lena engulfs her or how Emma’s body is still tingling as she enters her room and changes.

She misses the look Diana gives her, or how Diana opens her mouth to speak a few times, but ends up closing her mouth again.

They climb into bed and Emma studies Diana’s face.

“What?”

“Nothing, you just look very thoughtful. Are you okay?”

Diana swallows and nods. But Emma gives her a knowing look. “I was just so scared to lose you.” Diana sniffs and Emma pulls her into a hug. “I love you so much.”

Emma’s heart breaks hearing Diana cry and how Diana clings to her. She rubs the demi-goddess’ back and starts kissing Diana’s face. Trying to give comfort to her girlfriend.

When she is about to place another kiss on Diana’s cheek, Diana moves her head enough so that their lips meet in a tender kiss.

“Please.” Diana whimpers and tugs at Emma’s top.

Emma nods and lifts it off. Soon both of them are naked and Diana hugs her close as they move together. Their breathing becomes laboured as waves of pleasure floods through their bodies.

After many hours of passionate sex, Emma falls into a deep, satisfied sleep. Unaware that Diana watches her for most of the night. The cogs turn in her mind as she lays beside her. Remembering tearful, broken green eyes and an emerald ring.

(Part Fifty Six)

[gardenofadonis]

Some musings on the 'Come to Me'/'On My Own' leitmotif in the Les Mis musical

So, after a couple of years, I have fallen back in love with the Les Mis musical again. I'm not sure how many people are aware of this, but the music of 'On my own' in the 1980 French concept album was Fantine's first solo aria (L'Air de la misère), which sent me down the spiral of analysing the significance of the melody in the context of the musical as a whole.

Definition (from Wikipedia): 'A leitmotif is a "short, recurring musical phrase" associated with a particular person, place, or idea. It is closely related to the concept of idée fixe or motto-theme'. Now, I know whether the recurring melody is 'short' is debatable, so I'm using this concept loosely for the lack of a more accurate word (thought about using 'theme' but it may get confusing since it also applies to non-musical material). So apologies but please bear with me.

Now, I know, the songwriters may just be lazy so they gave Fantine's song to Eponine, since Fantine also had 'I dreamed a dream' in that album as well, which is 'J'avais rêvé d'une autre vie' (this takes place after she sells her hair), but Eponine also had 'L'un vers autre' (which basically talks about how Marius and Cosette are made for one another and she has no place in that story), so it wasn't like they needed an Eponine aria per se. And also, Eponine joins Fantine to sing at the Finale of the English version of the show (take my hand... take my love, etc.) to Valjean, which I would like to think is a conscious choice made by the creators rather than 'oh she's the other dead female character with a name so let's stick her in', which, may well be the case. But I am a woman of over-analysis, so this is your warning to quit reading if you don't appreciate over-analysis.

First, some context: in the 1980 concept album, 'L'air de la misère' is the second track, coming after what is the equivalent of 'At the end of the day', where Fantine gets fired from Valjean's factory. The lyrics basically talk about her disillusionment and ponders about the nature of misery. The melody returns in Fantine's death (as it does in the musical) and the Épilogue titled 'La Lumière' (which ends in a Valjean solo about light and love).

Why is this relevant? Because in the concept album, the 'la misère' melody comes from Fantine's aria and is thus a leitmotif that represents human misery (Les Misérables - anyone?), hence its reappearance in her death makes sense, and Valjean's reprise at the end highlights the concept of light (hope, love, justice, future, etc.) by turning the leitmotif around and giving it a new meaning. In other words, the melody in the context of the music isn't a one-off, but a recurring musical theme loaded with significance.

Which is why giving the melody to Eponine with new words is puzzling. In the musical, we hear the melody first in Fantine's death (a duet), then in Eponine's aria (in Act 2), and then in the Finale/Valjean's Death. So, from a musical perspective, 'On My Own' is a reprise of Fantine's Death. Those two never interacted on-stage, and the characters' history off-stage and their significances, on the first glance, seems minimal. So why do they share a same leitmotif?

Let's draw some parallels between Eponine & Fantine:

They both had a decent childhood & fell into poverty

They have both worked illegal & despised jobs (thief & sex worker)

They both love men who don't love them back

They have both experienced Valjean's kindness (Fantine much more than Eponine but still stands)

Acts of self-sacrifice for others

They both die young

Furthermore, let us not forget that Valjean also sings a handful of words in this melody in the Finale, so we may add Valjean to the mix. He was a thief and an outlaw on the run, he has been poor, was deeply indebt to the Bishop's kindness, has sacrificed himself on multiple occasions for others (stole for her sister's child, ousted himself for an innocent suspect, took in Cosette, etc.), and also dies (not young).

So it is not unreasonable to say that the 'la misère'/'on my own' leitmotif belongs to Fantine, Eponine, and Valjean. All three people have been screwed by life royally but still have noble hearts that love people unconditionally and without limitations (including dying for them). In 'Fantine's Death', the leitmotif expresses Fantine's parental love towards Cosette (which she passed to Valjean); in 'On My Own', Eponine expresses her unrequited romantic love; and in the Finale, it is Valjean's parental love for Cosette & Marius by extension, and he also teaches love to the young couple.

So, what are the conclusions from all this?

1) The use of the leitmotif as a basis of Eponine's aria foreshadows her death (since the melody is associated with Fantine's death)

2) The use of the leitmotif for 'On my own' draws parallel between Fantine's love for her child and Eponine's love for Marius, which goes as far as them willing to give their lives for them

3) Fantine & Eponine are both symbols/embodiments of human suffering, & the parallel between the characters were something the creators were aware of

4) The leitmotif also highlights the 'letting go' aspect of love & the characters involved. Fantine left her child with the Thénadiers and later Valjean because she knows her life would be better away from her; Eponine chose to help Marius with his pursuit of Cosette because she wants him happy; and Valjean went to the barricade, saved Marius' life, and later left Cosette because she wants the best life for Cosette

5) The leitmotif implies that Fantine, Eponine, and Valjean are the 3 who understand love the deepest - they were hurt by it but still loved regardless

6) In the Finale, Eponine is the most qualified to sing alongside Fantine (& later Valjean) because they were the only lead roles in the story who go to heaven because they 'redeemed' themselves (from their crimes & sins) through human love. In a way, Eponine & Fantine's stories parallel that of Valjean: a criminal (regardless of intention) with a heart of gold transcends their identity because of their love

Anyway. Do I LOVE that they recycled the aria to appear after what was originally the reprise (Fantine's Death)? Hell no. It is my opinion that if Eponine only gets 1 aria she should have something musically 'new' and individualistic. So to me, changing the aria to 'on my own' for Eponine & sticking it to the 2nd act while still using the same music for Fantine & Valjean's deaths is still somewhat lazy editing/writing. It is still jarring and I would never stop wondering 'why tf am I hearing Fantine's Death?' in Eponine's Act 2 solo, but I can now somewhat rationalise it.

BTW the 1980 French concept album is awesome and you should definitely check it out (chug the lyrics into a translator if you don't know French - they're marvelous and often make reference to the novel)

[adamfoolcry]

i hate you, i love you (k.dy)

it's valentine's day and you try your hardest not to fall back in the arms of one kim doyoung - your former boss, recluse and closed off, your fuck buddy - whom you are completely in love with.

pairings: CEO!Doyoung x Fem!Reader, Johnny x Fem!Reader rating: 18+   genre: angst and smut  warnings: swearing, explicit sexual situations - hate sex, dirty talk wc: 3k+ prompt: 'i hate you' 

a/n: This is a part of Candy Hearts Collab hosted by @127-mile . Text in blockquote are text messages.Thank you for beta reading simmi(@sly-merlin ) and indi(@ncteaxhoe​). Not proofread excuse the mistakes please contact me if you would like to do so. Enjoy! - xo aria

Doyoung:

I don't know if you'll even read this but if you do, I want you to know that what we have for two years was not a game for me. Maybe we can't start being honest with each other. When you make up your mind you know where to reach me.

Mina really knows how to dress you up to the nines, you'll give her that.

"It's not bad," you nod at your reflection approvingly as you examine the dress you wrestled yourself in, clinging to your body in the right places effectively enhancing your silhouette. The soft silky texture of satin feels exquisite against your skin however you can’t exude the confidence the dress might have channeled you with. You don’t feel grand in fact you feel the opposite;

You want to cancel the date.

"Oh for christ's sake, ______. Maybe try to put some enthusiasm into this," Mina spun you around to face her, your back to the whole body mirror where a while ago you two were examining the outfit she picked up from the back of your closet - where dressier clothing of yours reside not seeing the light of the day unless for special occasions. 

Placing both her hands on your shoulders, "You were so excited when you called me to pick something to wear. What happened?" She further inquired.

You heave a sigh, "I don't know I am just not in a mood to go out on a date with a stranger," you admitted.

Mina pulls your eyes back to hers, gleaming with determination. "You are ______, an economics major who graduated on top of her class, who landed a new job as a senior financial analyst despite being in the industry for only three years. Now repeat it," Mina orders you.

"What does it have to do with -" you rolled your eyes, and whined dramatically.

She clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth in displeasure, "Go on say it"

"I am ______, graduated on the top of my class and landed a new position as a senior financial analyst despite my tenurity," you mumble in a low voice.

"Good," Mina coddled you as if you are an infant who uttered her first word, "now add I am young, smart, and men want me."

You open your mouth to protest but Mina only pinned you with a hard look and you know you will not be getting out of this until you do as she says.

"I am young, smart, and men want me." You did as she told you.

Begrudgingly you did feel a lot better.

This is the third step of banishing Kim Doyoung in your life entirely. 

First is to send a resignation letter - done. 

Second, secure a new employment - done.

Third is to pursue a romantic relationship.

"Now let's get you ready for your date." Mina pulled you to the present, squeezing your bare shoulders to comfort you.

"I know that what you did is really hard. The sudden big change and all but today's Valentine's day you need to have a little fun today."

"I know Mina, now do my makeup." You pulled her to where your vanity table is located as you paste a smile on your face in order to placate her worries.

--------

If people were to know why you are doing this they might have called you silly.

After graduating from university you were offered the position of financial analyst in his company - a small but budding start up in Tech. Never would you have expected to land a job in your chosen field straight out of college. You are doing what you have envisioned yourself doing: analysing the trends and forecasting sales of the company's cloud solutions. You are comfortable with your current living situation, not what you have imagined after your parents cut you off no longer sending you an allowance. You thought you'd be working your ass off to make ends meet. Thankfully, the pay was high enough for you to live in an apartment in the city, pay your bills in time, and afford luxuries you knew that most people your age wouldn't have the money for. 

Everything seems perfect right? A job that you genuinely love, good pay, living in the heart of the city but of course you just have to develop feelings for your boss: Kim Doyoung. And that complicates everything; enough for you to decide to completely start over again.

Kim Doyoung has managed to worm into every nook and cranny of your life.

Kim Doyoung is a magnetic man, of few words, stern straight brows, and wide shoulders swaddled in elegant suits. He runs the company based on data-driven decisions unafraid of taking risks that produces the highest profitable outcome. Working at his company where all ten workers directly reports and closely works with him, you and your colleagues have developed quite a personal relationship with him. It was not conventional per se but you guess this is how all start-ups operate with a slightly different work culture. Unlike big corporations there is no bureaucracy, filling for leaves can just be a phone call or a visit to his office.

As his only financial analyst almost never leaving his side. You'd like to think that Doyoung might have developed a soft spot for you, maybe not in a romantic sense but in a platonic friendly way. He values your opinion enough that he asks for your input in any pivotal decisions either in work or his personal life. Whether to facilitate the migration to cloud as external contractors of big corporations or to oversee the renovation of his penthouse. And in small things too honestly, after all he asked for your help to decide whether the decor should be a Bohemian vibe or modern minimalistic black and grey.

That was until you fucked after the in-office celebration of closing a big contract. One moment he is talking about the vase that serves as a centerpiece of his dining table that you helped him pick, the next he was pulling your arm leading you to a dimly lit room. 

Yes, you did drink but you were sober enough to protest if you didn't want it; who are you kidding? Of course you wanted it to happen. Not one word of objection was uttered as he pinned you to the wall with your legs circling his waist. Instead of protests what left your lips was series of moans and his name in breathless pleas that he had to stuff your mouth with his fingers or else your colleagues will hear the two of you having sex two rooms away from them.

Doyoung slipped out of you stepping back to let you down.Your stilettos made a clicking noise as it came in contact with the tiled floor that echoed in your eardrums; deafening. Coming back down to earth and from your high is also the moment when you realized the mess you put yourself into by fucking Doyoung - your boss - in a storage room.

You righted both your disheveled appearances - to look as normal as possible - in order to go back to the pantry where the celebration was still in full swing. The tense silence that wrapped the atmosphere makes you want to shrivel in shame, both of you were aware of the line that you have crossed. 

The unspoken words were hanging in the air -

It was a mistake. Let's forget this ever happened. - and you refused to acknowledge the elephant in the room, the stillness making you uncomfortable by the second.

"_______ -," Doyoung started.

"We don't have to talk about it Doyoung." 

You moved for the door, not looking back to peek at Doyoung's expression. You just wanted to get out of the dusty storage room, the stuffy air and Doyoung's proximity, suffocating you. 

You thought you were smart enough not to make the same mistake again but you seem to have a penchant for getting hurt because you did it again and again every chance you got. When the effects of orgasm are wearing off and you are left naked and vulnerable you always find yourself swearing that it will be the last time but you already knew you were lying.

You just can't get enough of Doyoung even though it hurts to pretend that each encounter was meaningless.

Sleeping with someone where you never knew where you stand at is excruciatingly painful. 

You can't be jealous when you hear about the new girl he's with because you have no right.

It is painful when Doyoung gives you some false hope. Visiting you almost everyday in your small office bearing lunch for the two of you. He often spends half of his day loitering in your space, perching himself on the corner of your desk pushing around the knick knacks around your desk while you are busy with work.

Only to dash it when he tells you about the latest girl he's seeing which would mean your ears would bear the brunt of his relationship woes until it falls apart only for the vicious cycle to repeat again when he found himself in another one of his flings.

Everyday as he asks for relationship advice you feel yourself getting worn out and the green eyed monster roaring it's head, you try your hardest to tamp it down with your rational thinking. 

What hurts the most is he started his series of flings a week after you hooked up, rubbing on your face that it means nothing to him at all.

So after countless hours, days, and months of anguish you started planning your escape.

--------

There are so many thoughts running through your head it starts with: Did I overdress? Is Johnny having a good time? 

Then drifts into completely unrelated manners.

Did I manage to say goodbye to all of my co-workers? Clear out my desk in my office? Surrender my elevator pass to the friendly security guard? Retrieve my favorite mug in the pantry? 

Will everything be ok? Will I excel at my new company? Will I fit in a big corporation?

Will I miss Doyoung?

Am I doing the right thing?

Johnny cleared his throat which broke your reverie, your eyes settling in his face but Johnny seems to find the table napkin worthy of his attention rather than maintaining eye-contact with you.

"I had fun today but I think -," You see Johnny hesitating to continue his sentence, linking and unlinking his fingers instead.

You get it and you can't blame Johnny for his lack of interest. You were barely with him today after the small talk had died down and the two of you had finished your meals. You didn't make an effort to get to know him, the conversation was one sided as you barely threw the questions back at him; replying in terse short sentences as if you would rather be anywhere but having dinner with him.

"Yeah me too but it's really nice to spend Valentine's with you though and getting all dolled up. Makes me forget I am single," You joked and flashed him a smile; relieved, Johnny finally met your eyes as his actions mirror yours curving his lips into a smile.

-------

You hailed a cab for a ride back to your apartment, settling in the backseat you instructed and gave the address to the driver as his radio blasted cheesy romantic songs in your ear, making you feel more disappointed with how bad your date with Johnny went.

As the cab speeds through the city, the citylights intermingle with each other creating a spectrum of colors that bounce back at the cab’s windows, the scenery of skyscrapers blurring past your eyes and your mind returns back to musing which you know is a dangerous territory because somehow your mind always returns back to him.

Doyoung

What exactly did you want to be with Doyoung?

You want him to like you? No, You want to mean something to him, to be the special person he runs to whenever he's devastated, to be the first person he calls when he's completely utterly bursting with joy. You want him to be completely aware of your presence that even just a mere mention of your name will evoke something in him, make his heart beat a little faster and cause some flush to bleed through his cheeks.

You want him to be endeared with your habitual tics - how you drum your fingers in every surface when you are in deep thought, a line maring your forehead between your brows and make his lips itch to kiss it. You want him to be captivated with your idiosyncrasies and find it charming, you want him to adore everything about you that made you, distinctly you.

You want him to want you.

Your phone vibrated and interrupted your stupor and upon seeing Doyoung’s name attached to the notification. Your fingers quickly unlocked your phone, fingers ringing from an adrenaline rush just from the sight of his name.

Doyoung:

Come over?

And just like that you inform your cab driver to make a detour and drive to Doyoung’s instead.

Doyoung opened the gigantic door of his penthouse where he found you on the other side of the door, shifting your weight from foot to foot, nervous to be in the same perimeter as him. When the gap was big enough to see you his eyes roved over to your body and noted that you were dressed up nicely for a date. His eyes then turned into slits as he glared at you.

“Have fun with your date?” He questioned and you can see his jaw set - the muscles clenching tight.

You didn’t answer, you don’t want him to know the pathetic evening you spent with Johnny as your mind drifts to thoughts of him; instead of actively participating with Johnny’s effort of back and forth.

As if knowing that you wouldn’t answer, his arms went to grab your forearms pulling you inside and leading you to the stairs up his loft where his bed is, you followed meekly behind him. Reaching his loft you look around and try to commit to memory the layout of the room; promising yourself that this will be the last time you will set foot in this room.

Doyoung attached his lips to your neck which drew a soft moan from you, spurred by your sounds he continued to ravish your neck oscillating between harshly sucking and peppering soft kisses on the expanse of the skin of your neck. His hands running at your sides smoothly and gradually getting closer to the underside of your breasts with each pass, when he finally cupped your mounds you arch in his palms further pushing yourself closer to him, greedy for his attention from all the teasing that he has done.

When he spoke again it fanned over the nape of your neck making your skin tingle from the warmth, “Why can’t you understand that I am the only one who can make you feel this way.” 

You can smell the residue of whisky on his breath and you wanted to taste it on your tongue even though from all the times you have slept with him you two have never kissed. You have drawn the line there for kissing is much more intimate than slapping bodies againsts each other for satisfaction. Kissing can be done without sexual notions but a simple act between couples and it is a glaring truth that you two were not.

You found yourself naked and sprawled on his queen size bed where you have lain your back many times but never spent a night in. Even the off white color of his ceiling is familiar to you as if mocking you for all the times you said you wouldn’t see it again. As he slips your dress down your body, your eyes water and it pooled in your eyes ready to spill over. ‘This is the last time,’ you tell yourself again, 'this is the last time that I will be Doyoung’s beck and call.' When he was finished trailing his lips down and also discarding his clothes at the other side of the bed you managed to swipe the tears that gathered in your eyes and look at him.

Towering over you he was a sight to behold and you trace the line of his body with your eyes, caressing the dips on his collarbones and the line that leads down to his cock as his face coil into a smirk smug with the knowledge that he can turn you into a whimpering mess.

“What do you want?” He asked while splaying his hands on your stomach, his thumb drawing circles on your clit which made your moans even louder and your pussy clench on nothing. You hate that he was the only one who can make you feel this way, reducing you into a pleading mess as you move your hips to the rhythm that he has set. 

You don’t have to tell him your guttural whines already told him what you wanted and he obliged inserting his length into you slowly, while you gripped his sheets until your knuckles turned white. You loved the way he filled you and the burn that accompanies when he stretched your clamping muscles on him.

So you let all your reasoning go because Doyoung’s cock pumping inside you felt good, too good. 

He knows your body like an instrument, putting the right pressure and hitting the spots that makes you throw your head back repeatedly. You can feel the falter in his quick thrusts and knows that he is near his end. Doyoung makes this one sound at the back of his throat when he orgasms … and you follow suit too as he falls apart.

It took a few seconds for him to untangle his legs and arms from your figure and it took you a couple of minutes of staring at the walls, waiting until you felt your legs can support you before you stood up and searched for your dress and undergarments. You can hear the rustle of the sheets as Doyoung sits on his bed watching your back as you slip on your panties and pull your dress back in its place.

“So tell me why did you leave the company?” Doyoung asked, his voice ringing loudly in your ears.

“I told you already I want to work in a big company,” You try to answer nonchalantly.

“Really? Or does it have something to do with me?

“Oh for fuck’s sake Doyoung. The world doesn’t revolve around you!” You shouted at him as you turned around to face him. Your ire rising as you see the cold stoic look on his face - unaffected by your outburst.

“Then why does it feel like you are running away from me?” He stood up from the bed and warily approached you as if you will lash at him any moment.

“I hate you,” (I love you) you whispered under your breath the words not meant from his ears but he heard it anyway. Disbelief painted his features he cannot grasp the reason why you are suddenly acting like this.

He reached out to touch your arm but you swerved his hand like a hurt animal nursing a wound and Doyoung then noticed your bloodshot eyes and defensive stance.

“Don’t touch me. Whatever destructive thing this is Doyoung, I am done. We’re done,” You stated bluntly your voice devoid of emotions a complete contrast with how you hugged yourself tightly with your arms.

“You don’t mean that,” Doyoung said adamantly as color drained from his face, making his pale complexion - paper white. 

“You can’t just walk away,” He added more to convince himself than you because he can see that hard look in your eyes - already set in the decision of walking away from him.

“Watch me Doyoung,” your lips curved into a cruel bitter smile. 

You leave him with those words as he watches your retreating figure until it completely disappears from his line of vision. 

--------

That night when you received a text from Doyoung, you never bothered to open it, opting to delete it and completely block all communications with him. You need to move on and in order to do it you need to sever all ties that might delude you to come back in his arms again.

You need to escape from Kim Doyoung for it's been due too long.

a/n: Read more of my works for NCT here:masterlist

[bungouchronicles]

Fyodor doesn't have a God complex, if anything he has a savior complex. He doesn't view himself as God or even God-like at all. Instead he wants to and believes himself to be a helper or servant of God, someone to carry out his will and in that way a "savior" of humanity. He believes himself to be something like "God's right hand man", not God himself.