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voiceless-terror · 4 years

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my magnus finale and season five thoughts under the cut!

I’ll preface this by saying there were a lot of things I loved about this finale, and none of this is intended to start a debate or fight! It’s simply my feelings about what happened, and everyone’s entitled to their own (and entitled to love/hate what happened!). I totally respect how much others adored this and the wonderful art that’s coming of it. These are, again, just my own thoughts.

I really loved the first half of this. After Jon’s compliance in the last episode (that I found a bit troubling), I was really glad to see that he made the decision to confront Jonah himself and stuck by the idea of not dooming the other worlds. For one, I think it would have been narratively unsatisfying to have Martin be the one to kill Jonah- because let’s face it, while all the assistants have good reason to, this was really Jon’s confrontation to have. And I loved it! The conversation, Jonah begging not to die, and Jon saying - for Sasha, for Tim, hell, even for Gertrude. He never forgets Jonah’s victims or his own friends, and that’s such a core part of his character.

And I loved the statement. I was hoping we’d get one last one, and this one knocked it out of the park for me. Pupil!Jon is top hot Jon moments, and no I will not be taking questions on this. The soundscaping in this entire episode was brilliant.

I’ll start off by saying I understand narratively why the second half happened. It does make sense to me - that Jon’s final wishes end up being undercut by his love for Martin, and the last moments for me are desperately romantic and sad and lovely and I’m glad that they happened- it leaves so much room for us as an audience to decide what we think happened, and how to go from there. It’s a real gift to creators and though I for one will probably not be able to touch the finale for awhile, writing-wise, I am already itching to write some of my other projects!

But it happened so quickly for me. The pacing and change of heart is so about-face, mostly because of the situation- everything’s crumbling, we don’t really have time for much, if any dialogue. But Jon’s abrupt switch in plans when he was so committed to not dooming the multi-verse, the quick conversation of ‘oh we didn’t trust you so we already started going ahead with it,’ the whole thing was a bit rushed for me, and I think the pacing of this last arc has left a lot to be desired, personally. Again, I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense in its own way, I just don’t think the pacing of this season was the best that it could’ve been.

What also has been bothering me this season is Jon and Martin’s relationship (again, this is a personal take, it’s not something I expect everyone to agree with, at all). Martin’s not a character who was an initial fave for me at all, but I grew to love and appreciate him so that by the end of season four, I was really invested in Jon and Martin’s relationship and arc! It felt real and organic to me, and it was something to fight for. This stays mostly true for the first part of the season.

But then it gets a bit murky for me. We get the constant schtick of Martin going ‘a statement? Again?’ and this almost constant uncomfortable tension between him and Jon that never sat right with me. He wants Jon to not push any decisions on him, he doesn’t want to hear any statements, he wants his boundaries respected, but he doesn’t really do the same in regards to Jon. While I know the stress of the apocalypse is definitely a factor, it didn’t seem very ‘Martin’ to me, or at least the Martin that’s grown and changed since the first season. There’s a difference between going from being a wallflower to being assertive, and maybe because he’s never had a chance to really be confident and self assured, he doesn’t know how to do it in a way that isn’t a little hurtful. And while these can be normal and realistic parts of a relationship that are in some cases addressed, it’s realistic for me in a way that I don’t feel comfortable with. The way Martin is the one who pushes the ‘kill bill’ arc, especially in the Simon episode where he pretty much commands Jon to kill Simon, and his non-apology at the end of that episode (and the eventual fight where he accuses Jon of being the one to ‘enjoy it too much’). The time at Upton house that for me, is just uncomfortable knowing that Jon is actively dying and by the end, Martin doesn’t seem to realize it until he’s told (and then, when Jon says ‘was I wrong to hold off?’ Martin says no, that he enjoyed the time, and I just don’t think that Martin would ever condone that sort of self-sacrificial shit from Jon, as we see later on in the season!!). And then the fight, where Martin says some pretty awful and untrue things, and runs off with Annabelle- these are all things that could be forgiven, and are! But the apologies from Martin have all been lackluster with a tinge of ‘well I was right, wasn’t I?’ and the narrative doesn’t dispute that, and in fact seems to want us to side with some of his more (in my opinion) impulsive and not very great decisions. Jon very rarely fights back against him, and the times he has, its almost framed as if what he says/his transgressions are worse. I think if Jon acted in the way Martin did for some of this season, fandom would riot. But it's Martin, so he seems to get a free pass to act this way and have it be framed in a much better light. This is again, my own opinion about the text, I’m not saying anyone that disagrees with me is wrong. It’s just how it came off to me, and as someone who has been in relationships with similar sort of issues (on a very non apocalyptic scale, of course) it didn’t sit right with me.

So in the end, Jon goes off to confront Jonah on his own, which some are calling stupid or impulsive. But it’s not to me- this is Jon’s moral compass, and he’s sticking by it. For him to go along with the plan would be wildly out of character, and I’m glad he did this. The way it ended was ultimately satisfying to me, and leaves room for a lot of interpretation. But the way it got there wasn’t really what I wanted. And I say this as someone who really does enjoy jonmartin, and will continue to do so! I hope in a thousand fix it fics they get to talk and go to therapy and work on these issues on their own. But the way Jon and Martin’s relationship was presented over this season wasn’t comfortable for me, the trust issues and lack of communication was never resolved and I’m sort of disappointed with that overall.

I’m glad we got the ending we did, and I’m going to continue to love these guys for a good while yet. This is, again, not intended to start a debate, I don’t want to fight or engage with anyone like that because I really do respect everyone’s opinions on this season and final arc, and these are just my own thoughts. You are well within your rights to disagree with me on these things! But I just thought I’d share my own feelings about this last season. I’ve loved these characters for a really long time, and I’ve been listening since the end of 2017 so I have a lot of thoughts to sit with right now. But I’ll still definitely be writing and in this fandom for the long haul...especially if I want to reconcile the things I didn’t particularly vibe with xD

Hnnn back to my regularly scheduled posting, sorry for the long rambling thoughts.

#rye rambles #im not going to tag this obvi #but it was cathartic to write #sort of tma negative? but not an indictment of anything #because there was a lot to enjoy #but some things that really made me fjgfdkgl #feel free to ignore #this is long #i also tried to phrase this in the most non combative way possible and that may be annoying but i just dont need hate in my inbox tbh #this is all i will be posting about this cause i dont want this blog to be takes

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pearlcaddy · 4 years

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35? 🥰🥰

35. An awkward kiss given after a first date (All-Human AU, Aged-Up Jukebox because I no longer remember how to write them as teenagers)

Rock Paper Scissors

In seven years of knowing Julie, Luke has never felt awkward around her. Awed and nervous, sure. Ever since she wandered into their high school auditions for Wicked, opened her mouth, and nabbed the role of Elphaba as a freaking ninth grader, she’s had his full, often fumbled, attention and adoration.

But he hadn’t ever meant to ask her out. She’s been one of his best friends for years, and they’ve been each other’s first sounding board for song ideas—her for her solo career, him for Sunset Curve—and he’d never wanted to mess with that. But last week, they’d been working in their shared rental studio until late in the night, and he’d been too sleep-deprived and too overwhelmed by her beauty in the low, golden lighting of the music stand lamps and so he’d asked “You wanna get dinner this week?” without a thought because he is an actual disaster—

“Of course.”

Two greatest words spoken in the English language? Confirmed.

But the actual date is… weird. When he picks her up at her place and tells her that she looks really pretty, she immediately focuses on her feet and mumbles, “Oh, um, thanks.” And she then proceeds to act aggressively normal on their date, making the same jokes, the same banter, the same musical conversations. Which is exactly what he wants out of a relationship with her, but the vibe is off. He thought there would at least be some soft looks and sheepish smiles and discussion of feelings. But it feels the same as every single dinner they’ve ever had. In a last, desperate attempt to capture some date-like vibes, he leaves his left hand stretched toward the middle of the table the whole night, hoping she’ll take it eventually, but his hand remains empty. And when it comes time to pay the bill, they decide who pays the way they always do—rock paper scissors—even though he’s heard her say that she always splits the check on dates.

So he’s feeling entirely wrong-footed, especially when he pulls up in front of her place and turns off the car.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“… walking you to your door?”

She raises an eyebrow and lets out a bemused chuckle. “Okay?”

Fuck. Is this the worst date in the history of dates? She’s that desperate to just flee the car? But she doesn’t just tell him to stay, and she would have if she wanted him to, so it’s not a rejection exactly. Not a rejection of his presence, at least. Just of the concept of dating him.

He wants to drive back to his apartment immediately and sulk under a pile of sad blankets with some mopey Bob Dylan, but he’s already committed to walking her to her door. So he shoves his hands in his pockets and trails after her as she opens the gate of her building, the door almost slamming him in the face when he doesn’t get his hands out in time to catch it. She leads the way across the small courtyard to her apartment door and turns around, bemused expression still filling her face. “Ta-da?”

He chuckles nervously. “Okay, I get it. Don’t walk you to your door.”

She forces a smile. “Just seems a bit excessive.”

The same nervous chuckle slips out of his lips as he rubs the back of his head. She tracks the movement of his arm, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion.

“Uh, thanks for coming out tonight,” he says.

“Well, you paid. So thanks for that.”

“Thanks for being a really predictable rock paper scissors player.”

For the first time since he stopped the car, the confusion and awkward tension drops from her body and she shifts closer to him. “What?”

“You always do paper if your meal was the cheaper one, and scissors if your meal was more expensive. Like you’re trying to get more aggressive to make sure you pay the bill?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, you do.”

Her mouth falls slightly open as she looks off to the side, like she’s replaying every game of rock paper scissors she’s ever played. “I… huh.” She cuts her eyes to him, peering up at him partially through her eyelashes. “Are you saying the game’s been rigged this whole time?”

“Pretty much.” She narrows her eyes, so he bumps her elbow with his. “I keep it even. For now. You’re pulling bigger royalty checks than we are these days.”

She snorts. “Right, cause that’s where we make our money. Royalties.”

“Any day, you’re gonna be filling the Garden, and then I’m definitely letting you win every time.”

She swings in closer, peering up at him from a distance that’s… unfair to the continued function of his brain, honestly. “So my reward for getting rich and famous is that I get to buy you dinner?”

“Or you could get better at rock paper scissors, but that’s probably impossible.”

“And me getting famous isn’t?”

“Nah, that’s inevitable.”

She’s gazing up at him with this unbelievably fond, open expression, eyes resting on his face like he’s her own personal source of joy, and it finally feels like a date. A different kind of tension running between them that’s filled with anticipation and affection. And when her eyes flick to his mouth, he doesn’t let himself second-guess before leaning down and pressing his lips to hers.

The height difference, which he’s never thought of as substantial before, makes it awkward, and his lips land slightly off-center, but the bigger issue is that she leans back almost as soon as his lips find hers.

Fuck.

“What was that?” she exclaims.

He holds up his hands and skips back, giving her space. “I’m so sorry, I completely misread that.”

Her hand comes up to her lips, tracing the skin like she’s just woken up from a very immersive dream. Her eyes slowly drift to his. “Wait. Was this a date?”

What.

“Uhh, yeah. I asked you to dinner.”

“We have dinner basically every week.”

“But I never ask. It’s always, like, ‘you’re up for food, yeah?,’ not ‘do you wanna go to dinner?’”

Oh god, why is he so bad with his words when he’s not writing lyrics? How did he so totally screw up this amazing, precious, important thing they have?

But she bursts into giggles. “That’s not a clear enough distinction.”

“I thought it was pretty clear,” he mumbles.

She steps in closer, a bright smile sliding over her face, and hope slips into his chest as she tilts her chin up. “No. Here’s how you ask someone out: Luke Patterson, do you want to go out with me?”

Is it possible to overload his heart with happiness? He cups her face, grinning as he thumbs the soft skin of her cheek.

“Yeah. You free tonight?”

She pops up on her tiptoes and presses her lips against his: sweet, gentle, pure, and filled with a fondness than even his insecurities can’t deny. Before he can get lost in the kiss, she pulls back and rolls her eyes at him.

“Of course. All you had to do was ask.”

#jukebox #juke #palina #julie x luke #luke x julie #jatp #jatp fic #my fic #my fic link #pearlcaddy tumblr fic #prompt #pearlcaddy kiss prompt

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shinaus · 4 years

Text

set up

pairing: kei tsukishima x reader

words: 5.4k

A/N: happy tsukki day!!! i love this angsty boy so knowing me i just had to make something soft - also i have to admit i both tried a new thing with this AND didn’t proof read it so if you think it’s awful... you probably right

Running a hand over your face, it doesn’t take much more for you to hold your finger down on your home screen to delete yet another dating app. There’s only so many times you can be fed the same chat up lines, same as how many you’re willing to look past in hopes of having a genuine connection with someone.

Ever since you had graduated high school and even college, dating was just something you had no luck with. Sure you could always pass it up on never finding the right person, or feeling the so called spark other people claim to of had when they meet the person they stay with for however long. Unfortunately for you, any spark you even see in the distance tends to fizzle out.

It’s not that you have bad taste by any means, more-so that whoever you do end up going out on the town with for some reason does a full 180 to what they were like in their profile and private messages.

There’s been a catfish or two, not to mention one guy who - although being incredibly sexist - expected you to be paying the bill all in when he ordered more than your own body weight in expensive food. It left you feeling burnt out, at your young age feeling as if you’ll just never have that lucky date.

In your friend group it had been passed around as a joke the past few times, mostly because you really just could not write what happens on these dates of yours. However over time it had more grown into concern that you keep ending up so unlucky, a couple of friends offering you up group hang outs or even mutual friends for you to try your luck with.

To no avail however, you would never want to be the one for friendships to end because of your forever looming trust and commitment issues. Though there is one friend who is adamant to change your ways on this and set you up with someone, that person being none other than Kanji Koganegawa.

A close friend and neighbour of yours when you were both in high school, Kanji is certainly the most eccentric friend you have. He always has a hand in keeping you laughing though, humouring you about your bad dates and always being the first one there to comfort you when it all goes wrong.

As much as you do trust him and his judgement, you really just don’t know any of his friends enough at all other than the ones that you both share. The ones you do know sadly just aren’t your type, one in particular being Kenji who you swear could flirt with a brick wall if he tried hard enough - and he surely would.

Since both you and Kanji have recently graduated college however, your friend circles outside of each other have expanded. He ended up joining a volleyball league division, much to everyones excitement, alongside some guys from other schools with highly ranked teams as well.

There was the invite to mixers with them here and there but they all just seemed a bit daunting to you, surrounding yourself with a bunch of men over 6 foot tall and probably with alcohol in their system a little bit too intimidating for your liking - and yet, the invite would be thrown at you every weekend.

Much like it is right now, with Kanji sat at the foot of your bed as you go through your closet absentmindedly. “For the last time Kogane, I really just don’t feel like it tonight” you tell your blonde friend, watching as his expression drops for the umpteenth time.

“Come on! It would be fun and you know it, plus I promise this isn’t some kind of ploy to get you to meet guys this time!” he whines, hands dropping dramatically to his sides which you can’t help but laugh at. Usually it would be easier to stand your ground against him, but something about how much he’s demanding it tonight makes you feel like there just has to be some kind of reason for it.

“So - you’re telling me that inviting just me to a bar where it’ll be you and like ten of your volleyball friends? With no intention at all of trying to set me up with one of them?” you ask him, hand on hip as you now turn to face him. All he can do is let out a groan at the question, giving you every bit of a hint as you needed.

Moving over to your bed with your back to the headboard, you watch him still as he pouts at you. “You’re no fun” he tells you, arms crossed over his chest, making you roll your eyes. After he has his huff he stands up, straightening his shirt before going onto his phone to book a cab for wherever he’s going.

“Try and not drunk call me later!” you call to him as he makes his way out of your apartment, hearing the door open before he stops short. “No promises” is all you get back before he heads out and you’re left alone once more.

God you wish you made him promise this time. A groan leaves you as you sit up, hearing your ringtone blaring through your room. It would have been smart of you to leave it on silent for the night, but there’s no telling what your friend can get up to when he has a few drinks in him. You slide along your screen to answer, putting it on speaker immediately when you hear the blaring of music.

“OH SHE ANSWERED!” you hear him yelling, letting out another groan at your clearly inebriated friend. Before you can ask him where he is or how he’s getting home, he starts up again. “Okay listen - I know you were sleeping but he agreed to let me give you his number so I’m warning you in advance like the good friend that I am!” he blares, making your half lidded eyes practically shoot open.

He? Who’s he? Once again, he beats you to it. “Oi! Come say hi! This is my friend I was telling you about!” his voice sounds a lot more distant now, clearly trying to get the friends attention. Shifting yourself so that you’re sat more comfortably, you bring your phone closer in favour of not having to talk louder.

“Listen, Ko it’s late I-” you’re interrupted by a different voice this time, thankfully one a lot more sober than you can say about your friends. “Hey. Sorry he woke you, I’m about to call him a cab right now - I also wasn’t planning on taking your number if you didn’t want me to, hence the phone call.”

Well shit you think to yourself, he has a nice voice at least. His tone is somewhat stern from what you managed to make out, sounding like the designated responsible one for the night since you could hear hollering all around them. In that moment your mouth clearly worked faster than your brain, letting out a chuckle at how well he described your friend in a few sentences.

“Oh it’s cool - I usually end up with calls like this when he goes out. Mostly since he asks me to tag along and tries making me jealous” you tell him, somehow hearing the small exhale he lets out in a laugh. “You seem nice enough though so whatever Kogane decides I guess, as long as you’re not a murderer and are cool talking to a girl cursed with bad luck”

It only alludes to what you go through in dating so it’s innocent enough, the hum you hear come from him then causing the smallest patch of goosebumps to form at the back of your neck. He speaks again then. “I could say the same about you - and I’m sure I can look past some luck. So I guess if you get a text later you’ll know who it’s from..”

The mystery of it is a little exciting, you won’t lie. Although, you realise it would be nice to have some kind of indication as to who you’d be giving your number out to. “One condition though - can I at least have your name?”

“Oh well that would ruin the fun though, wouldn’t it?”. Huh? Is he teasing you right now? It certainly sounds like it, practically hearing the smirk he likely has on his face through the phone. “Hm, fine. I’ll give you my first name for now, it’s Kei.”. After telling him your own, you hear a small commotion in the background which seems to divert his attention.

“Ugh, sorry. Seems our friend is trying to get back inside even though the bars closed - I’ll have him text you once he’s home” he tells you, curt tone seeping straight back through into his words - and with some quick goodbyes he was gone.

You lie back down in your bed, phone placed back on your nightstand as you analyse the situation at hand. Even though you asked Kanji not to set you up with anyone you didn’t know, here he was giving out your number to a stranger who you can only assume is on the same team if not one of his friends. You’d not heard a ‘Kei’ before though, mostly since you’re pretty sure he mostly uses surnames as a formality.

Assuming you’ll find out more in the morning, you settle back under the covers and eventually drift off to sleep. Even when your phone goes off a few hours later you don’t stir, thankfully putting the ringer off before you slept once more.

The next few days are spent messaging this mystery ‘Kei’ back and forth, being given no hints from Kanji as to who he is much to your prying. Conversation ended up flowing smoothly between the two of you, much more than what you would have expected. There also wasn’t the lingering feeling of romantic interest looming over you just yet, which was always reassuring.

With you both working full time and him being on the volleyball team, any free time you did have was scarce. Typically you’d talk the most at night when you’re both getting ready for bed, which in a way was nice since it meant you both had each others undivided attention.

Texting between you both also ended up going into the early hours of the morning because of this, not that you minded. There was something about the goodnight and good morning texts he would give you that set off a feeling in your chest - something unfamiliar to you.

Although when you first talked on the phone he had seemed pretty closed off, he was making a pretty conscious effort to get to know you properly. It was nice, having someone come to you for advice and input on a situation or asking if they can call you when their mood isn’t all that great.

Often times you would come home from work and just want someone to talk to or vent about what had happened while you were there - and he was the first person you would go to. If something happened, good or bad, you’d likely be clicking the call button on his contact info without even thinking about it.

The same had been happening with him as well though. Some days he would be frustrated with a volleyball game or something at work, so you’d let him vent to you the same way you had him. There was something about the other that had brought a sense of calm over you both, words and voices soften the later into the night you talked.

Even without knowing what he looked like, something about Kei just kept drawing you in. Whether that be the way he would talk about something he was passionate, huff through the speaker if he was feeling grumpy or laugh at your jokes even when he said they sucked right afterwards. It was the first time you were able to feel so open with someone, and you hadn’t even met in person before.

Friends had noticed the small changes in your attitude but made no move to point it out, instead letting you revel in the feeling they had wanted you to experience for the longest time. Calls would last longer as time passes, texts would become more in depth. Hell, one night the two of you even enjoyed a movie together on Netflix party one night - even when he hardly typed from concentration and claimed to resent your commentary, only to ask where you had gone once you stopped.

As it had come to a few weeks since you had started talking, you became aware of how much you looked forward to hearing from him every day. Which was a lot. Your time would be spent knowing his routine if you weren’t talking, always being informed when his practice would start or be over making sure you’re aware of his absence.

It had caused you begin wondering to yourself more if you were in over your head, that you were getting too attached already much more than he was. Surely you couldn’t already be considering taking things further with him, right? There still hadn’t been any meeting yet, but here your heart was growing fonder of this mystery guy.

Behind the screen you were granted anonymity, able to get to know someone in the most authentic and genuine way. Though every time the two of you would set up another long distance night of watching a movie and he makes a comment about another that you would like, it takes everything in you to not ask to do it in person?

There were a few occasions like that with him as well, but it was hard to not brush them off as being platonic. Even though the entire reason you two were talking wasn’t supposed to really go down that route, there was nothing stopping the insecurity from eating at you from the thought of you not being everything that he wants.

Like normal, the two of you had ended up having a phone call fairly late in the night while he told you about his day. It was coincidentally spent with your mutual blonde friend since it was volleyball related, so he didn’t shy away from telling you any of the antics that had occurred throughout their practice.

As much as you could listen to him talk for as long as he would offer you, he had to cut it short since he had practice again early in the morning. It was difficult not to let him hear your disappointment so you said your goodnights and hung up, lying back on your bed now with your phone on your nightstand.

This is nice, is all you can think to yourself. As much as you feel as if you’d like to see where things would go with Kei, it’s becoming more difficult to ignore the looming feeling of what could happen if you bring it up. What if he just really isn’t interested? Or he meets you and changes his mind? What if he himself changes?

This downward spiral of thoughts continues on for a chunk of your night, but not before the ping of your phone interuppts them. Although he had said he was going to sleep, it seemed something had went unsaid by Kei. Opening up your texts from him, it was hard to resist smiling to yourself at what he had sent you.

He wants this as much as you do, you have to keep reminding yourself. Your replies are quickly typed out, hoping he won’t make an excuse to tease you on it but feeling relief fill you when he clearly doesn’t notice.

Thus, the two of you planned the day you would meet up. Neither of you had felt brave enough to deem it a date quite yet however, so you went for his idea of “blind hang out” with a laugh. Then, with one last ‘goodnight’ from him once the day was finalised, he was off to bed.

Settling yourself properly into bed, you now were able to let your mind wander elsewhere. Mostly on what the two of you would do when you finally get to see each other, what he would look like etc.

Upon planning he had taken the lead in picking a place but made sure it was good with you, a coffee shop not too far from your apartment so that you would feel comfortable in a more public place. It was one of those moments where, even though he can act arrogant, he’s incredibly thoughtful when it comes to you and your feelings.

Eventually you fall asleep with these thoughts in tow, hoping that maybe somehow you can manifest them into being part of your dreams until that fateful day comes.

It comes much quicker than what you had anticipated. Even with the amount of time you had to prepare yourself in advance, you were unable to get rid of the odd feeling in your stomach when you had woken up that morning.

Kanji had insisted on coming over, mostly to give you a pep talk and some reassurance. Originally you hadn’t planned on telling him anything since you assumed he had been too drunk to remember giving Kei your number, but someone the boy has ended up developing partial memory instead of none when he decides to get drunk.

Putting away another outfit choice, you can’t help the small whine you let out as you start getting yourself worked up. “What are you so nervous about?” he asks you, genuine worry for you laced into the question. “I’ve already told you, he seems to really like you already. Plus - he didn’t even call it a date! There’s no pressure!”.

Even with his words ringing true, you just couldn’t shake how you felt. Sitting back down next to him on the bed, he reaches out to give your head a pat. “I don’t know..” you mumble mostly to yourself, but he manages to catch it. “He’s just the first guy in so long that seems like he genuinely cares, I’m not used to that”.

The admission makes you outwardly cringe, realising you really haven’t had good experiences with guys since before you could even remember. With some more reassurance from your blonde friend you eventually settle on an outfit and are soon ready to go.

With a quick text sent saying you’re on your way and leaving Kanji to hang out in your apartment in case you needed picked up worst case scenario, you head off to meet your mystery man. It was hard to contain your nerves as you made your way over there, having never (intentionally) done anything quite like this before.

All that you hoped was that he seen you as good enough, someone worth spending time and maybe eventually pursuing a relationship with. Not once have you let yourself care this much about a person in a long time, so it was safe to say that you had a lot riding on it.

The coffee shop is one that you’ve ventured to on the odd occasion, it being not that far a walk from your college campus therefore the perfect spot to grab some much needed caffeine before an exam or long lecture. So the sound of the door bell ringing upon your entrance brings you a sense of familiarity.

You were early, so you decided to pick up a drink and settle into one of the booths while you wait for Kei. There are a few texts here and there as he approaches, doing nothing in settling the feeling in your stomach that’s all but consumed you at this point.

With every new person that enters your head whips around, blatantly obvious that you’re waiting on someone. It isn’t until you watch as someone has to duck slightly to get inside the door that your attention is quickly diverted from the door itself.

The man who enters is well over 6 foot, with tufty blonde hair and glasses. You note that he’s very well dressed, looking similar to the more preppy kids you had encountered in college on the odd occasion you were at the same parties or in lectures together.

You can’t help but wonder if he’s the one you’re due to meet, since he is pretty attractive and certainly your type. Before you can think much more on it however you watch as he presses a button on his phone and holds it to his ear, clearly calling someone.

It isn’t until your own phone starts vibrating in your hand that you realise, entire body freezing. There’s no way you think to yourself, watching his eyes scan the surrounding area once more until they lock onto yours. Feeling your own widen slightly you bring your phone up to your ear and swipe to answer it - since you’re too far away from each other to be able to hear anything.

As if your nerves hit you all at once in that moment, you end up blurting out nothing but nonsense on the phone to him. “Please tell me that you’re the one I’m staring at right now”. All at once you feel your whole face flushing, nice one. What a great first impression. It’s reassuring only when you hear him let out a laugh, opting to hang up the phone and practically make a beeline towards you. How the hell can someone cross an entire coffee shop in like 4 steps?

All you can do is watch as he stands in front of you now, practically looming over you since you’re still sat in your chair. To somewhat lessen the distance a bit between you, you stand. Before you can go about introducing yourself though, he’s quick to distract you when he gives you the smallest hint of a smile.

“Early?” he asks, clearly not wanting the redness in your face to die down just yet. “Maybe a little..” is all you can reply, coming out as more of a mumble than anything. There’s probably no reason to feel so embarrassed, but it’s hard to not feel like you’re one step away from screwing things up

That is until you feel a knuckle graze against your arm softly, as if in a reassuring manner. “Don’t worry about it” comes from him now, bringing your eyes to meet his once more as his smile widens. “I would have been too if my train wasn’t late, even have a note of what you told me you order to buy you it first - but seems you’ve beaten me to it..”.

Seems it’s his turn to flush slightly now, not being able to help but find him becoming all the more endearing. Your hand comes up to tap his gently, as if to return the gesture he had sent your way.

“I’m going to grab something quickly, mind waiting for me?” you give him a nod at his request and sit yourself back down as he wanders towards the counter, not able to take your eyes off of him just yet.

Taking a sip of your own drink, he orders his and comes back in a matter of minutes with ease - though he looks like he can’t decide whether or not to sit across from or beside you. It causes you to let out a small chuckle, him obviously having the same inner turmoils as you.

Hoping it’ll help him out a bit, you decide to pat the space next to you but not too close as to freak him out. “Come sit, Kei”.

As incredibly stiff and awkward as you felt in the beginning, it took no time at all to get back to how you would usually act with him. There was no helping that he was a total tease at times, especially since you would take in every single word as if you were already played right into his hands.

There are a few new things you had learned about him while you both drank your coffees. One was that he more smirked a significant amount more than he smiled, something that made your heart flip in your chest in the most unsettling way even if he was doing it to keep up appearances. On the contrary however, you realised that he showed the smallest hints of shyness on occasion.

Obviously since the two of you didn’t have the screens to protect you anymore, he wasn’t as cocky as he would sometimes be on the phone. Sometimes he would even slip in the odd compliment - some of which hitting you like arrows straight through the heart. The one that will stick with you the most was once you had ventured out of the coffee shop, opting for a walk in the park together since it was local and the weather was still warm enough to.

“You know” he starts, eyes moving away from yours and opting to look at the scenery around you both. If you weren’t going crazy, you could swear you’d also caught a hint of redness across his cheeks, one that might not be able to be written off as much from the cold. “Kogane sure can be a handful sometimes, but I’m glad I trusted his word.” your brows furrow at his admission before he continues. “I mean talking to you every day has been great, but I’d have asked for your number a long time ago if I had known you were this pretty..”

It was the most sudden his words had been, but it didn’t stop the way it made your own face heat up. As much as you had both established that you would only be hanging out together, something was definitely lingering in the air around you. Although for once you didn’t dread it, instead embraced the idea of getting closer to the man in front of you.

“Well as much as I enjoyed the whole mystery texting thing, it does make me wish I had ended up going with him that night” you admit yourself, suddenly wanting to take it back when his eyebrow raises teasingly. “Oh? Think you’d beat me to it and ask me out first, huh?”

It makes you roll your eyes, but you can’t help the laugh you also let out after it. “In your dreams, Kei. As much as you are my type, I’ve had my fair share of doing the chasing”. That makes it his turn to laugh, the atmosphere feeling as comfortable as ever.

He had found out a little more about your dating life when you were texting, but it had become more evident to him that you really hadn’t had any luck at all in your adult life. It had made him want to put an end to it himself, be the kind of person he believed that you rightfully deserved. Even if the two of you left today unsure as to what you would become, he knew there’d be no harm in trying to be good enough for you.

From the way you two once again got lost in conversation, the night soon crept up on you faster than what you had expected. You were unable to stop the huff you had let out as if in protest, having too nice of a time to want it to end. But you really should get back, especially with it getting dark soon.

How you feel about leaving is obvious to Kei, making him smile a little to himself at your reluctance. “Want me to walk you home?” he asks a little more sudden than he intends, turning his face away to hide it from you once more even though you’re just as quick to agree.

The air grows chillier the more you walk, causing you to walk with your arm against his. It becomes a little awkward along the way again, unknowing if now is the right time to initiate any kind of affection or not. But the way he slowly hooks his arm around your shoulders and brings you closer to him is a good indication of him deciding to make the first move, leaning closer to him still and giving him a small smile to reassure him.

Once you make it to your apartment building neither of you can help how disappointed you must look, now standing in front of each other and saying nothing as if it’s a way to hold you both there. This time it’s your turn to take the upper hand, being the one to speak up first.

“I had a lot of fun today” you tell him, sincerity laced within your words. “Thank you for the dat-”. Suddenly your face is beet red all at once again, looking away from him quickly. Shit. There was an agreement that it wasn’t a date. Before you can run off into your apartment and hide away from the outside world however, you feel his much larger hand move to take yours.

“I mean, I’d have done a lot more than this if we were on a date you know” he retorts, taking advantage of the situation since you mentioned it first. “If only I’d known that’s what you thought it was~”. The teasing makes you groan, wanting to hide somewhere so opting for his chest when he brings you closer to him and wraps both arms around your shoulders this time.

You’re not sure how much more time passes where you’re both stood like this, the warmth he’s emitting enough to keep you there forever if yo could as your arms find purchase around his torso. It’s only when you feel his hand reach up and run down the hair at the back of your head that you look up, catching his eyes already on yours.

The two of you flush momentarily, but he again takes the moment in his stride and brings his hand around your head to rest on your cheek. “I take it the slip up meant you wouldn’t be opposed to me taking you out properly?” something about his voice is uncertain now, nothing like what you’re used to from him.

Instead of giving a reply all you can do is nod, noticing the distance between you two lessening by the second. As if to solidify your answer, you allow your confidence to come back to you. It doesn’t take much of a stretch for your lips to meet his, only lasting for a quick second before you pull away completely.

“I’d be good with that” you say quickly, smiling widely when you realise how off guard you��ve caught him. “Thanks again for today, Kei. I’ll see you around” is what you end with, turning around and heading into your apartment. You’re unsure of how long he stands there for, but the text you get not long after you make it through the front door is a good indication of how your move made him feel.

---

bonus for chaotic kogane hehe

Forgetting that you left Kanji at your apartment before you had left, you yelp when you’re suddenly hounded by him upon entering your bedroom. It doesn’t take long for you to realise what he’s about to say, especially since the window faces right out to the front of your apartment building.

“When am I allowed to say that I told you so?” is the first thing he asks, solidifying he had just witnessed that entire moment with Kei. You’re quick to land a soft hit to his sternum, feigning anger at him peeping on the two of you.

“Another time, Ko. Let me have this” you tell him in retort, not missing how his expression softens at the lack of anger in your voice. It’s clear to the both of you that you’re happy about how the day went so he feels no need to tease you over it - instead sending a quick message to his taller friend and thanking him for treating you the way that he always believed you deserve.

#tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima x reader #kei x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x yn

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ziracona · 4 years

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Hello! I have always believed that Michael needed better doctors and good treatment. He was simply billed as "Evil". Sometimes I think that at that time they were unaware or ignorant of mental illness, and that is why Michael did not recover. I wish it had been treated better. I would like to know your opinion about it ;v;

Oh, absolutely. Michael is a very tragic character, and what happened to him was almost entirely Loomis’ fault, secondarily the system and his parents’, and like onyl 0.8% his own. It’s true that mental health aid has historically been really bad in most places, and even today treatment and acceptance—even in specifically medical settings—tend to be abysmal. Of course people knew less than they do now about how psychological stuff works, but bias, cruelty, and superstition as well as a system that enables and even to degrees outright encourages that is to blame for the awful treatment people woth mental illnesses and personality disorders faced and continue to face, not just a lack of knowledge, and the history is really heavy and awful to look over. : ( It’s horrific some of the things doctors have done and do to people just trying to get help.

Like, in Michael’s case, we’ve had a name and understanding of psychosis since the 1800s. Canonically, by the time the poor kid was six years old, he was hearing voices telling him to do bad things to people. He told his parents, seeking help, and they did nothing to help him—just told him it was his imagination—despite knowing hos grandfather had suffered the same symptoms. If they had only taken him seriously and given him therapy and possibly medication too, Judith never would have died. (I am not goong to say it every time, but all this information is official canon) Michael’s reason for killing his family members is wanting the vocies talking to him to be quiet, because it’s agonizing. If you’ve ever had intrusive thoughts (stuff like “pull into oncoming traffic” or “break that and see what happens” and such that don’t actually compell or force you to do it at all, and are always things you as a person deeply do not want to do, but nevertheless are really annoying or distressing to hear in your head), imagine that cranked up to 1000, endless and constant, but from voices that seem to come from around you instead of in your head. Especially as a young child, with no understanding what is happening to you, this would be incredibly scary and distressing—doubly so when dismissed by your parents, whose sole job is supposed to be to love and protect you.

The voices say they’ll be quiet if Michael kills Judith, so Halloween night, he does. Important to note here Michael is recently six years old at the time, which developmental psych literally is not old enough to have a complete understanding what death itself is, let alone complex morality. You /cannot/ be evil at six, you simply don’t have a complex enough understanding of right and wrong or of consequence to /be/ evil. Also at this age, usually kids see death as a vague concept, but one that applies to people they don’t know only, not to them and their loved ones. In Halloween 1978, immediately after stabbing Judith, Michael looks away while he keeps doing it, and his breathing speeds up in a scared way. He barely looks at the body, and immediately goes down stairs to wait for his parents—probably for them to fix it—and does nothing to flee or hide what he’s done. He looks traumatized when they take his mask off. (Lots of little notes here like that Judith when she sees him seems annoyed but not very, and when he attacks her, tries to shield herself and call to him to stop, rather than fleeing or fighting back, which [appealing instead of fight or flight] is pretty exclusively something you only would use if attcked by someone you are on good terms with—I mean, Michael is six—if Judith had /tried/ to fight back, no way she would have died—so there’s less than nothing to indicate they had anything but a loving familial sibling relationship. But if I list all these I’m gonna launch into my six page Michael Myers meta so I will speed through the rest.)

Anyway! Sorry, I have many feelings. About...everything. Including Michael for sure. So, immediately after killing Judith, Michael stops talking. He also shows other psychosis and trauma readily recognized side effects, like catatonia, slowed movement. In Halloween 1978c Dr. Loomis claims he tried to treat Michael for eight years, then spent another seven trying to keep him locked up because he realized he was evil. This is a /blatant/ lie, as in film canon Loomis, by Michael’s review hearing I believe four months in? Six or less for sure, I believe it is four. Loomis has /already/ become convinced Michael is a demon in human form, faking his symptoms, and itching to kill again. The other doctors think Loomis is crazy, as does the other doctor who examines Michael, but they’re awful people so they let him stay Michael’s doctor anyway, even though they refuse to move him to Litchfield maximum security. By this time only a few months in, Loomis is canonically also threatening the six year old in his care and constantly telling him he is an evil being who wants to get out and terrorize again. (Also, I will die enraged the sentance Michael gets for killing Judith is to remain locked in solitary in a sanitorium for /15/ years, until he turns 21, at which point he will be tried as an adult for murder??? The fuck?? You CANNOT charge a 6 year old’s crime in adult court! ‘Tried as an adult’ is meant for like, when a 17 year old dismembers their family and eats them! It’s for particularly heinous crimes, committed by someone /very/ close to being legally an adult, and that /only/. The idea of waiting fifteen years to try someone as an adult for something done at age six is laughable and sick).

Okay this is already long, I get carried away rip. Uhhh, anyway, yeah. In Smith’s Grove, Michael is visited by mom and Laurie once, then never sees any of his family again, because his dad hates him and forbids the others—finds out because Laurie is four and talks that they went /one/ time, and physically beats four year old Laurie for mentioning his name until she trauma blocks out ever having had a brother. From then on, Michael spends /fifteen/ years and all the dest of his developmental stages of childhood in a sanitorium with Dr. Loomis—a man who on wild religious superstition grounds assumes by his own admission /on sight/ that Michael is evil, and no other human contact. According to canon, Michael spends at least four hours of /every/ day with Loomis, his /only/ human contact, who threatens him, promises to stop him, and endlessly barrages him with “You’re evil, you’re not human, you want to kill again, I /will/ stop you,” and nothing else. He also canonically keeps Michael overdosed on a type of antipsychotic that, while a fine drug if used normally, if overdosed can deeply worsen symptoms, and can cause permanent brain damage.

Honestly, if a six year old is exposed yo major trauma, none of their issues are explained, legitimized, or believed, and almost all of their developmental stage is spent with endless voices they don’t know the cause of suggesting murder and violence, one human being and authority figure telling them over and over and over for fifteen years with no other constant in their life or human contact period that they are a demon in human form who wants to kill and is /going/ to do so again...? How else was that story ever going to end? I’ve said it before, but that’s beyond conditioning; it’s lab growing a human child to one day walk out and murder Laurie Strode with a large kitchen knife.

I stand by Halloween is a greek tragedy more than a slasher, and Michael and Laurie are both victims. He’s the Asterios, she’s the Ariadne. Loomis the Minos, the real villain. (Or the Poseidon choose your poison).

Anyway, I 100% agree! If he had just gotten help from his parents, Judith would have never died. If he’d had good doctors, none of the events of 1978 would have come to pass, or anything after it. Loomis single-handedly causes the deaths in 1978 himself through years of cruelty, and bigoted bias towards a small child in his care who needed his help, not his abuse, but he chose to break as much as he possibly could despite his responsibilities as a doctor, an adult, and a human.

If you’re interested, I did a canon-deep-dive character study short story on Michael on AO3! Halloween is such a sad story but it’s fascinating. God, poor Michael and Laurie deserved so much better than they got. It’s a testament to Michael’s character that even after 15 years of Dr. Loomis, he really only kills his intented target(s) in search of quiet from the voices, and anyone who sees him/would be a threat, and not other people. Makes no attempt to kill any of the kids in Halloween 2018, and only kills Bob when he literally opens the door to his hiding spot and Michael is found and Bob becomes a threat to him. In H20, after Michael has had 20 years on his own, you get arguably the least brutal Michael, who intentionally passes on killing the mother and child, and the security guard he walks right past, because they don’t see him and thus he doesn’t /have/ to. Halloween II is less intentionally avoiding, but even then he still does the same multiple times too, like with the old lady making a sandwich, or the scene in the incubator room. Anyway he desevered better fuck Loomis all my homies hate Loomis.

#ask #anonymous #michael myers #halloween #halloween 1978 #halloween II #Halloween H20 #Halloween 2018 #note: Michael is written /very/ differenly in the different timelines. different writers took complrtely dofferent approaches to hin as a #person. and his motives. so unless I state otherwise I am always talking exclusively about the version of Michael from the H20. 2018. & DbD #timelines. since those are all largely the same character. unlike the 3-4 RZ and resusrection or the novelization etc #they’re seperate universes w different canons. i am only really interedted in core/OG canon and its offshoots #its /direct/ offshoots haha #laurie strode #sam loomis #Isolation (fic)#Isolation #meta #michael myers meta #long post #me: I am not gonna do the six page breakdown ima do an overview #me: doesn’t do the six pages but damn well doesn’t do the short version either #i can’t help it you found an intense passion topic

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

OK, March 8

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Bruce Springsteen

Page 1: Big Pic -- as part of Coach's latest campaign Jennifer Lopez posed with a supersized pink version of their new Pillow Tabby purse

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Chris Harrison gone for good? The Bachelor host's future with the show remains uncertain after his controversial interview with Rachel Lindsay

Page 6: Since the start of his career Justin Timberlake has endured his fair share of scandals but after welcoming his second son with wife Jessica Biel over the summer and celebrating his 40th birthday, he is confessing that he feels immense guilt about the past and he won't be making the same mistakes in the future -- Justin's done some soul-searching and accepts that he's wronged a lot of people over the years with his own terrible mistakes and he says he's still a work in progress, but step one has been to stand up and admit he's hurt too many women -- in addition to a boozy night out with his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright in 2019 and his part in the now-infamous Nipplegate incident with Janet Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl, Justin recently came under fire again due to the documentary Framing Britney Spears which showed him exploiting his breakup from Britney Spears to help his solo career -- Justin's learned from his mistakes and has a lot more sensitivity about the impact of his actions on other people and that's the big difference between the Justin of today and his old, immature self and that self-awareness was evident in an emotional statement that he posted apologizing to both Britney and Janet for the errors in his ways -- his words drew praise from his wife Jessica who says he's come a long way as a husband, a father and more importantly, a human being

Page 7: Wendy Williams is on the prowl for a new man and he's got to be husband material and she is ready for a serious commitment -- Wendy's been staying up until all hours of the night checking out guys online and on exclusive dating apps and she wants someone age-appropriate, fun, kind, independent and of course has no history of cheating -- she's feeling very optimistic and even buying new perfume and clothes and jewelry for all the dates she hopes to have once lockdown lifts

* Texas native Matthew McConaughey is seriously considering throwing his hat in the ring to become the state's next governor -- he's been putting out feelers to see if he's got sufficient support and if enough donors are willing to write checks, he'd mount an aggressive run in 2022 -- he's already gotten the thumbs-up from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- at this point, he needs to see an actual path to winning because he's not interested in just making a protest statement; don't be fooled by his aw-shucks attitude, Matthew means business

* Now that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end, the hunt is on for a new family to replace the clan and one reality pro is poised to nab the prize: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna -- there's already been talk about Lisa picking up the torch and her family is camera ready, consisting of husband Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Hamlin who's dating Love Island's Eyal Booker and Amelia Hamlin who's dating Scott Disick

Page 8: Things keep going from bad to worse for Armie Hammer -- he was forced to drop out of his upcoming movie Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez after direct messages he allegedly sent to women in which he described himself as a cannibal and detailed disturbing sexual fantasies were leaked online -- Armie was also fired by his talent agency WME and now the disgraced star may get cut from his new film Next Goal Wins which has already been shot -- he's radioactive and everybody knows it and his completed but unreleased work is getting a second look as studios want to do damage control, and that includes another of his finished projects Death on the Nile where his part could end up on the cutting room floor -- he's a pariah now and it's hard to see how he's ever going to come back from this

* Jennifer Aniston has always had a spiritual side but these days she is taking things to a whole new plane -- Jen has surrounded herself with psychics and has been doing Goddess Circles with the same group of close friends for 30 years, but now she's taking courses to learn to heal herself and be her own guru -- BFF Courteney Cox has been a big influence and Jen's learned a lot from Courteney, who's had a long-term interest in mediums, astrologists and horoscopes, and she's trying to fuse it all together into her own brand of spirituality -- Jen's had a lot of time alone, which has only deepened her questions about the universe and how she can make the most of her life and she's determined to find the answers

* Princess Eugenie is over the moon after welcoming her first child, a baby boy with businessman husband Jack Brooksbank but now the new mom is torn about taking time out from her royal responsibilities -- Eugenie would love to take a long break from everything and focus solely on raising her son however she knows deep down how much she's needed, especially since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are showing no signs of coming back -- as she weighs her options, Eugenie is looking to her multi-tasking cousin-in-law Duchess Kate for some inspiration because she's impressed by how Kate is able to juggle her official duties while raising three young kids

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars captivate in enchanting puff-sleeve numbers -- Bel Powley, Aubrey Plaza, Lupita Nyong'o

Page 11: Kaitlyn Dever, Lucy Boynton, Margaret Qualley

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hilary Swank vs. Madeline Brewer, Bella Hadid vs. Devon Windsor, Alison Brie vs. Dua Lipa

Page 14: News in Photos -- Tayshia Adams and her fiance Zac Clark felt on top of the world when the visited the Empire State Building together

Page 15: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were inseparable while out and about in Beverly Hills, Bill Murray and NFL player Larry Fitzgerald Jr. were among the many stars to shoot their shot during a charity golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Rita Ora performing on an episode of the U.K. show Dancing on Ice in Hertfordshire

Page 16: At the Australian Open Serena Williams came out on top during the fourth round, Bachelorette alum Jordan Kimball and fiancee Christina Creedon couldn't wait until they got home to enjoy Candy Pop popcorn's new Peanut M&M's flavor from Sam's Club in Houston, Heidi Montag spent the day hitting the slopes at Lake Tahoe

Page 17: Hailey Bieber starring in Beyonce's new Ivy Park x Adidas collection

Page 18: Brody Jenner had a blast snow tubing while shooting the second season of The Hills: New Beginnings in Lake Tahoe, Avril Lavigne stepped out with her new boyfriend Mod Sun for a romantic dinner in West Hollywood

Page 20: Justin Bieber looked like he'd just hopped out of bed in a sweater and checkered fleece pants in L.A., Robin Thicke in front of a piano in L.A.

Page 21: Steve Martin doubled up on face coverings on the set of his new project Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Michelle Obama on her new show Waffles + Michi, Cardi B spoiled herself with high-end goods during a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills

Page 22: Brooke Burke romancing with boyfriend Scott Rigsby on Valentine's Day, Lucy Hale accessorized her look with her newest rescue pup Ethel in L.A., Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon masked up for a snowy outing in NYC

Page 24: For Galentine's Day Vanessa Lachey snacked on macarons and sipped on wine in L.A.

Page 25: Bella Hadid alongside models Mayowa Nicholas and Heejung Park in Michael Kors' new campaign for the Spring 2021 collection, Hugh Grant stepped out for some fresh hair in London, Sofia Vergara kept it casual during a visit to a pal's house in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley's Rocky Mountain retreat

Page 28: Marriage isn't easy especially during a global health crisis but for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard divorce is not an option -- Kristen said she and Dax at the start of the pandemic were at a point in their marriage where they definitely needed a little therapy brush-up and every couple of years they're being very antagonistic towards each other and they don't want that so they go back to therapy and figure out how they can serve their team goal better and it's been incredibly helpful and even in the toughest times they always have each other's back and they're committed to being each other's biggest support systems -- while their relationship may never be perfect, they're happy and love each other and that's what matters most

Page 29: Now that Tom Brady has won his seventh Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has set his sights on the next prize: baby No. 3 with wife Gisele Bundchen -- they've been telling friends they hope to make an announcement by summer at the latest and Tom and Gisele have been super loved-up since leaving Boston and moving to Florida after the QB signed on with the Bucs and the change of scenery has worked wonders on their love life and put them in baby-making mode -- the duo, who recently bought a $17 million spread on Miami's exclusive Indian Creek Island, plan to build a luxury mansion there complete with a nursery and they hope to be all settled in when the new arrival comes -- they've never felt healthier or been happier

* Aaron Rodgers looked positively giddy when he revealed he had a fiancee, Shailene Woodley at the NFL Honors, but the QB is dreading the next step: bringing her home to meet his parents because it's no secret that Aaron's been estranged from them for years and the last thing he wants is for Shailene to get caught up in the drama -- Shailene wants Aaron to clear the air with his folks, but he's not ready to do that and he doesn't want to bring Shailene into a toxic environment

* It's only been two years since Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin but she's already itching for some alone time -- she's headed to Texas in April for her first concert in over a year and she's told Brendan he shouldn't come because it will be all work and no play but she really wants to get away from him for a while and after the pair's recent road trip together, Miranda is desperate for some space -- sometimes Miranda feels like she's living with a baby because Brendan whines and complains about life on her farm

Page 30: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's romance is heating up fast, so much so that she's practically handed over the keys to her Calabasas estate and she loves having Travis sleep over and sometimes he'll stay the whole weekend -- he gets along famously with her children and Travis has been a friend of the family for years, so the kids have pretty much known him their whole lives and they'll do fun stuff together like hiking or playing video games and Travis loves making breakfast and showing off his pancake-flipping skills --Travis is spending so much time at Kourt's place that he's moved a bunch of his stuff in to make it easier for his kids Landon and Alabama with ex Shanna Moakler to visit him there -- everyone's convinced they'll be living together full-time before you know it

* Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were met with a flurry of well-wishes after they revealed they're expecting baby No. 2 -- the couple decided to wait until Meghan was safely into her second trimester to share the news and they only told a handful of family members before the public and they wanted to cherish this secret for as long as they could -- Harry and Meghan have been nesting at their Montecito mansion and have been busy prepping the nursery and making sure it's eco-friendly with energy-efficient lighting and they're keeping it as plastic-free as possible

* Love Bites -- Clare Crawley and Dale Moss reunited, Kit Harington and Rose Leslie welcomed a baby boy, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum engaged

Page 32: Cover Story -- Bruce Springsteen's private world -- he's an open book in his songs, but here's Bruce's untold story of his struggles with depression and regret -- he still has dark thoughts from time to time but therapy and medication have helped a great deal

Page 36: Stars' Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith

Page 37: David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish

Page 40: Interview -- Elizabeth Olsen -- the Avengers star dishes about getting witchy again for Marvel's mind-bending WandaVision

Page 42: Golden Girls -- how these Golden Globes nominees get their award-worthy figures -- Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Lily Collins

Page 43: Kaley Cuoco, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Seyfried

Page 44: Aadila Dosani's vegan recipe for Chickpea and Potato Soup

Page 46: Style Week -- Ashley Graham is the new global brand ambassador for self-tanning label St. Tropez

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- create a naturally gorgeous, flushed look with fashion designer Jason Wu's namesake makeup collection

Page 49: Haute hippie retro jeans -- take a trip back to the '70s with Revice Denim's ultra-cool capsule, Los Angeles Lovers -- Delilah Belle Hamlin

Page 50: Flower Power -- floral prints are spring's hottest trend -- rock the pretty blooms for a fresh, boho-chic look -- Kaia Gerber

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Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset

Page 58: Buzz -- after months of playing it coy, these celebs confirmed their relationships on Valentine's Day -- Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin

Page 59: Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker, Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Halsey on not conforming to conventional beauty standards, Anderson Cooper on coparenting with his ex, Ashley Graham on the importance of self-care, Kate Winslet on feeling like a fish out of water in Hollywood

Page 61: Tom Holland on the plot of the next Spider-Man flick, Mila Kunis joking about keeping her family entertained during quarantine, Drew Barrymore when asked if she's ever been skinny-dipping, Madelaine Petsch on playing a teen in Clare at 16

Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Lupita Nyong'o turned 38 on March 1

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Riz Ahmed

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fandomsoverlife · 6 years

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bittersweet (Diego Hargreeves x reader)

Hello!!! This is kinda awful, I apologize in advance!

Summary: Diego has an unexpected visitor from his girlfriends past and he puts them in their place.

Warnings: Perhaps some bad language, maybe some bad writing, an awful ex is mentioned but nothing horrible. I used the name Terry for the ex, my apologies if that’s your name.

Word count: 2k(ish, give or take)

———————————————————————

Diego Hargreeves was an overprotective boyfriend. Not in the annoying, overbearing, bad, and manipulative way as some men can be; in a way that shows he cares greatly for his girlfriend and her well being.

It was just one of his ways of showing affection in public (in private it’s a different story and for y/n, Diego is one soft, domestic motherfucker).

But this morning had taken a turn for the worst.

Diego’s sweet sweet girlfriend had to run to the store to get coffee grounds (Five came over so much that they ran out rather quickly) and so Diego didn’t get his early morning dose of snuggles and kisses (and by God if anyone found out about that (mostly just Luther) he’d flip his lid).

And when he thought it couldn’t get worse, at exactly 7:45 AM there was a knock on the door.

Now, he knew it couldn’t be Y/N because she didn’t have to knock on her own door, it wasn’t Klaus or Vanya because Klaus would just walk in and Vanya would’ve called, Five would’ve just came through a window, and Luther and Allison were visiting Claire in LA.

And thirty seconds later when another round of knocks came Diego cursed, pulling a black sweatshirt over his head and walking to the front door.

The man on the other side wasn’t one he was familiar with and truthfully he didn’t like the look of him - but he looked weak so begrudgingly Diego opened the door. “Hi who are you?”

The man shuffled his feet, obviously not expecting to see him. “Oh I’m sorry I must have the wrong place. Do you know a Y/N?”

“Yeah this is the right place, dude. Why are you looking for her?” He squared his shoulders and stood up straight, intimidating the man even if he was slightly taller than him.

“I’m a. . . An old friend, I was in town and I wanted to uh. . . To talk to her. Catch up and what not. Where is she?” Not even his voice was intimidating - Klaus’ voice was more intimidating than this guys.

“She went to pick something up, should be back soon.” His voice was flat, he was racking his brain for information on a tall dude with an obnoxious beard and not so horrible hair - but kind of gaudy and strange tattoos. “What’s your name?”

“Oh uh, Terry.” He sounded nervous, and rightfully so.

Diego vaguely recalls the time where Y/N had gotten a little too drunk (and sad) and spilled all the information about this particular man, and he also remembers that he really just wanted to hurt the guy. Now he just wants to know what he wants. “Do you wanna come in and wait?”

Terry was not expecting that from him but nodded anyway. “So where’d she go?”

“She went to get coffee grounds. We ran out and someone can’t start the day without it.” He was talking about himself and Five and his girlfriend, but this dude didn’t need to know that. “She should be back soon.”

“Great.” He didn’t sound enthusiastic. “So this is a nice place, is it a two bedroom? Three bedroom? You her roommate?”

Diego held in a snort. “Of sorts. Technically it is a two bedroom.”

“Must be expensive to live here.”

“Joint income, bud. Two adults with well paying careers, we split everything.”

That wasn’t a lie, it really wasn’t.

Technically the apartment was a two bedroom, but the extra one was a guest room and it had a lofted space that was another extra bed (often for Klaus or Five, or the occasional guest). They did indeed split the bills, because that’s how things get paid. Diego wasn’t going to mention how he was Y/N’s boyfriend until this guy spit out his real intentions.

“Just two of you? That’s not awkward?”

Diego rolled his eyes, reaching down to pet one of their cats. “Why would it be awkward?”

He didn’t really know how to answer the question judging by the look on his face. “Uh, I’m not sure. So how has she been?”

Diego was ready to just deck the guy, he knew that this is the pest who wouldn’t stop contacting her and trying to be her friend (or, more than her friend by the way he talked to her) and he knew that this guy broke her heart and manipulated her and treated her like she didn’t matter, and truthfully he hated the guy for it. But that doesn’t mean he won’t take the chance to rub it in his face that Y/N was his girlfriend and they loved each other dearly.

“She’s been great, honestly. She’s having a great year.” He scratched the small cat behind his ears and grinned when it purred.

“Yeah that’s what I’ve heard, through mutual friends.” He stammered, looking around at the various pictures on the walls of their living room. “You guys seem well aquatinted, judging by these pictures.”

“We’ve known each other for a while now, I think we should be.” Diego settled on a stool they had sitting in their kitchen, watching the man carefully. He was staring at pictures Y/N of the time she and her friends went to Florida - looking intently at one of Diego’s favorites (she had on a little red bikini and she was sandy and she was beautiful - not to mention how hot she looked). This Terry dude was just getting on his nerves. “So how’d you meet her, how do you know Y/N?”

“Oh we went to high school together. I graduated before she did, though. Which caused some disconnect, admittedly. I haven’t seen her in forever, especially now that she lives here in the city.”

“She’s been a busy lady. She has a job and a life, sometimes she’s just too busy to go back to her past and deal with that. From what I know she didn’t particularly like high school, or anyone she dated at the time.” Diego was pushing a nerve because he really wanted this man to snap. “In fact I think she’d just rather forget about it completely.”

“Oh really? Do you often talk about her past and her past relationships?” Terry’s voice had gotten higher, and he sounded uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I specifically remember her talking about this one dude - maybe you’d know him - his name was like Tyler or Tom or something. She used to have awful commitment issues because of that dude.” Diego specifically remembered their first argument being about that, and that’s why she got drunk and cried to him about this idiot dude that’s in their living room right now. “Man, that guy is lucky he’s never met me.”

The sound of the door opening and closing made both of them look over. “Diego?”

“In here.”

She followed his voice and the smile on her face immediately dropped when she saw their guest. “Uh, hi?”

“We have a surprise guest with us this morning. An old friend who wants to catch up.” Diego said, raising his eyebrows at her in a way that she knew he knew exactly who this guy was, and she knew there was mischief in his eyes.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at Diego, setting the grocery bag on their kitchen island. “Since when are you in New York?”

“I just dropped by to say hello.”

“You live three states away, how or why would you just drop by to say hello?”

Diego looked at the man expectantly, a sense of pride filling in his chest when he saw how she was handling this.

Perhaps he was a little disappointed that he couldn’t just beat this guy up yet but who cares.

“I was in the area, Y/N, it’s not that deep.”

“Why would you be in the area when this particular area is in no way related to anything you do? How did you even find our address?”

Diego loved that tone of voice, not when it was used against him - but when she was defending herself? Ooo it got him hot.

“I asked around.”

“Who did you ask? And why would you think it’s okay to show up at someone’s apartment at 8 in the morning on a Saturday?” Now she was just annoyed. “You can’t get out of this hole you’re digging yourself so if you could just explain yourself now that’d be the smartest decision.”

She turned to look at Diego, smiling innocently. “Can you make coffee?”

“Yes I can.” He stood up and winked at her, letting her pout when he didn’t give her a kiss. “How much?”

“A lot, Five is coming over.” She turned back to look at the man in her living room who looked insanely out of place. “Explain.”

“Listen, baby, I miss you so much. I know I did so much wrong the first few times we dated but I’ve grown and I’ve changed and oh my god you have no idea how much I still love you, I want another chance.” With every word he said he got closer to her until he had a grip on the bottom of her elbows, pulling her in close despite the disgust on her face. “Plea-“

His whiney plea was cut short by a sharp knife cutting through his hoodie and pinning him to the nearest wall.

“Hands to yourself.”

“Hey what the hell man you could’ve killed me!”

“First off, if he wanted you dead, you never would’ve been allowed in this apartment. Second, do not call me baby.” Y/N rolled her eyes, pulling the knife out of the wall and walking to their kitchen. “Thanks for that.”

Diego looked at her and noticed her shaking, clasping her face in his hands. “I don’t like this guy.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead as the man walked up to them.

“Y/N-“

“Dude, how dumb are you?” Diego cut him off, this time without a knife. “You aren’t going to be getting back together with her because she’s my girlfriend. Why else would I be here at 7:45 in the fuckin morning in nothing but pajama clothes? That’s a boyfriend privilege. Letting you into our home? Boyfriend privilege. Belittling you to your face because you were a shitty boyfriend? That’s a boyfriend privilege for sure.”

Y/N slid out of his grasp and left the room to get his ringing phone, leaving the two alone.

“Hey! Uh uh, you keep your eyes on me. You ever look at her again and I will hurt you. You ever even think of trying to get her back after everything you’ve done and I will hurt you worse. You ever even think about her again and I’ll know, trust me.” Diego had never been so calm while sounding so angry. “I know people who can hunt you down to the ends of the earth and make you disappear and from what I know about you, not many people would care. You ever show up to our home again and you’re dead, you understand?”

The man nodded, nostrils flaring. “Can I at least say goodbye to her?”

“Get out.”

By the time his lovely girlfriend was back in the kitchen he had set out a cup of coffee made how she liked it. “Sorry I let him in.”

“Don’t be, this means he’ll stop contacting me.” She grinned, pulling him close and planting a kiss on his lips. “And by the way, do you know how insanely hot it is when you threaten people?”

He grinned, pulling her waist closer. “Enlighten me, please, baby.”

She smirked, holding his cheeks in her hands, stroking the scar that went across his right cheekbone. “You sound so strong and powerful. It’s honestly pretty sexy.”

He laughed, kissing her softly until she bit his bottom lip. “Someone is in a mood this morning.”

“I think we have time for a quickie before your siblings show up.” She suggested, giggling when he picked her up and headed towards their bedroom.

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loughtonbaithead · 4 years

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zabdielsdejesus · 5 years

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PLOT : alright so this is a mix between a dream i had right when the picture of criminal zabdi came out, incorporated with my imagination and the help of @esmeraldabitxh So basically the story is the reader is a lawyer who has to represent her ex boyfriend : criminal zabdi, while she’s engaged with another man.

WARNINGS: smut, criminal zabdi, and infidelity etc

Your heels echoed through the dark alley, the sound of keys dangling from your fiancé’s pockets joining the cold rhythm. Your heart started beating faster while you both walked into the endless hallway, your man leading you to cell 303. Freshly graduated from criminal law studies, this was going to be your second case. The first case involved a drug dealer who lived for eight months in this same prison. It was actually how you met your soon-to-be husband. As a prison guard, he had walked you to the cell of your first client and it was love at first sight. You never really believed in love at first sight before he came along, a spark occurred between you two and you couldn’t quite explain how. However, like every relationship, you had your issues. It was a beautiful yet turbulent relationship.

“You seem nervous. I’ve never seen you like this before. I know you’re gonna nail it, don’t worry baby,” your fiancé reassured you.

Funny coming from someone who told you the night before that you shouldn’t represent this client because he didn’t deserve to get out of jail. Ever.

However, what he did not know was the reason why you were so nervous. It wasn’t because this was only your second case. But because the man you were about to represent was once your boyfriend.

Zabdiel De Jesus.

Your eyes opened wide, shock washing over your face when you first saw his mugshot and name as your boss introduced you to your future client’s file.

Early on in your studies, you and him were inseparable. But the kind and caring man soon hung out with the wrong crowd. He’d come back home in the middle of the night, stacks of dollar bills in the pockets of his bomber jacket without a single reasonable answer to give you. You never knew what he was actually doing. All you knew was that he dropped out of college and made too much money for it to be clean money. Everyday, he was on edge, Everyday, you would argue over his new lifestyle.

“If you go on like this, you’re going to end up in jail!” you used to yell at him. But he wouldn’t listen.

Three years later, you were about to represent him.

“Thank you babe,” you smiled at your fiancé before you opened the beige folder you carried in your hands. It contained everything about Zabdiel : name, birthdate, birthplace, current address, mugshots, finger prints, criminal records.

Drug dealing, armed robbery, aggravated assault with gang affiliation.

You remembered the first time your eyes read these words. Shock electrified every nerve ending in your body. This wasn’t the Zabdiel you used to know. But he sure was the one you were afraid he would become.

A sigh escaped your pink lips as you came to a halt, facing a dark cell. You couldn’t distinguish much apart from a silhouette sitting on a thin bed.

“That’s the one,” your fiancé said as he began to open the cell. The metal bars harshly hit the grey wall as you both stood in silence.

“I’ll take it from here baby, don’t worry,” you said before you placed a light peck on his lips and straightened your pencil skirt.

The man’s dark boots led him back into the end of the hallway as you finally entered the opened cell.

“Hello Mr De Jesus,” you politely said, your tongue not used to call him this way. The context forced this choice of words.

Swiftly, the tall man rose from his bed, brown eyes landing on you. He could recognize this voice among millions. It was hard to take in his features in the dim light but as he approached you, you noticed the ink on his body. Ink that he did not have back then. They seemed to be everywhere, neck, chest, hands.. It surely fit the image you pictured of a criminal with his record. He looked much more intimidating than you were accustomed to. Breathlessly intimidating.

You swallowed heavily, your manicured fingers carefully holding your folder against your chest. Maybe that way he wouldn’t see or hear how hard your heart was beating.

No words escaped his lips. So you continued.

“I am here to represent you.”

He sarcastically chuckled.

Who would’ve known you both would end up here? Him being a criminal while you were representing him in court. Certainly not him. You clearly had your life together. Always the good girl since the first day you met each other. Your ambitions pushed you to become the person you are today. Him, on the other hand, followed a different path. While it started like yours — studying in the same university as you, his desire to earn easy money led him to a dark path. Losing you confirmed his downward spiral and soon dealing drugs turned into affiliation with a dangerous organized crime group. He had nothing to lose anymore.

Crimes offered him an adrenaline rush he was addicted to. He felt like he was on top of the world while his heart hit rock bottom after losing you.

“Who is he?” he questioned. The first thing he had heard when you approached the cell was the term of endearment towards your fiancé and his jealousy suddenly sparked after three years of absence.

“I heard your previous lawyers dropped you,” you ignored his question as you opened your folder and ran the tips of your nails along the paper and started reading the comments the lawyers left on Zabdiel.

“Impossible to work with, Mr De Jesus clearly does not want to be represented or defended in court. He vacillates between a feeling of god-like omnipotence and a sense that he simply doesn’t exist, which of course is intolerable. I believe Mr De Jesus’ behavior is driven by what we might call a risk addiction. A compulsive need to prove to himself that he can take risks and survive dangers that other people ca—.”

A gasp escaped your lips as he grabbed the file and threw it on the floor, crudely interrupting your reading.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t give a fuck what they’re saying about me,” he spat as he towered over you. “I asked a question.”

With a roll of your eyes, you held out your left hand, showing off your diamond engagement ring. “That’s what he is.”

Pure jealousy overwhelmed his body as a sudden need to remind you how much of a good lover he was, rushed through his veins. Zabdiel knew he was the reason why your relationship didn’t last. His bad decisions turned a beautiful relationship into a black hole. And selfishly, he wanted to make another bad decision in order to ruin the current relationship you had with your fiancé.

He took a step forward as you took a step back until your back hit the cold wall. Your gaze met his, unable to tell what his next move was. He seemed so enigmatic and hard to read.

His hand gently brushed against your soft hair as he towered over you. He made you feel so small even with your high heels.

“A prison guard...” he started, judgement lacing his words as his hand moved down to the collar of your blouse. You were speechless, unable to say anything or react to his smooth moves. “You deserve better than a prison guard,” he whispered as his gaze bore into yours.

Shivers ran down your spine, you were completely bewitched by his cold beauty. Your lashes fluttered up as he started unbuttoning your white shirt. It was painfully slowly yet your bra came into view faster than expected.

For a brief moment, your eyes glanced at the scattered files laying on the floor — a clear reminder that whatever was happening was completely forbidden.

He was your client. A client you knew, yes. But a client nonetheless. And in addition to that, you were engaged to someone who was waiting for you on the other side of the alley.

“Zabdiel,” you muttered as you covered his hand with yours, abruptly forcing him to stop.

His look turned dark and you could feel a pool of wetness between your legs. You were fucked. Utterly fucked.

His tattooed fingers wrapped around your uncovered neck as he leaned in closer. “Are you scared, Y/N?”

In vain, you searched for the right word to describe how you felt in this very moment. A combination of fear and desire for the same man. Yes, you were afraid of what he was capable of doing, especially after you read the awful crimes he had committed that landed him right here. Fear for lusting over a man who was no good to you, while a good man was waiting for you. Fear for lusting over a client which would instantly end the career you barely began.

"Yes,” you mumbled under your breath, your pearly white teeth biting onto the flesh of your bottom lip.

“Tell me to stop then, princesa,” he challenged you.

You both knew you didn’t have the ability to do that. Deep down, you didn’t want him to stop.

“Y/N, Is everything okay?” your fiancé suddenly shouted from the other end of the hallway, unable to see what was going on in this cell.

“Yes baby!” you replied while your eyes focused on the tall blonde before you, your hand gripped onto his wrist as he kept his grip around your neck.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips against yours. The soft embrace quickly turned into a sensual and ardent kiss, his velvet tongue dancing against yours like it used to.

His grip tightened against your neck as you unzipped his grey jumpsuit. You let out a soft moan into his mouth, your body temperature increasing despite the chilly condition of this prison.

“Wait wait, we can’t,” you reminded him.

“I won’t tell your boyfriend,” he whispered against your lips.

“Fiancé,” you retorted.

Animosity overwhelmed him yet again at the choice of words as he pulled away from your lips and throat.

“What’s so special about him?” he inquired as he pressed a blazing kiss against your neck. Another quiet whimper escaped your lips.

“Can he make you feel this good?” he went on as he pushed your tight skirt up to your waist. His lips paced light kisses along your warm neck down to your chest.

Pushing down your bra, Zabdiel took your breasts into his hands. His long fingers brushing across your nipples before he placed his lips upon them, making them harden. You shivered from the desire coursing through your body as he began to slide his tongue in circles around the tight buds. You ran your fingers through his blonde locks, tugging at them tighter as your body arched for him.

Pushing your panties aside, his hand found your wetness, his finger sliding inside you as you let out a desperate whine.

"Shh," he silenced you.

The tall man sucked on your nipple harder, his finger gliding in and out of you so easily, building your climax, only to pull back as he sensed you near the edge. His lips soon captured yours — the kiss was passionate and carnal as you pushed down the sleeves of his jumpsuit, leaving him shirtless.

Drawing your lips between your teeth, the simple sight made him harder for you. As a prisoner, he hadn’t been able to satisfy his sexual needs for quite a while and all he could think about now, was fucking you.

Grabbing your thighs, he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

“I’m still waiting on my answer, mami. Can your fiancé make you feel this good?” he repeated before he thrusted into you. You gasped, trying to readjust yourself to his size. “Does he fuck you like I do?”

His words were provoking and yet they made you more aroused than you already were.

No answer could leave your mouth. Nothing but moans. His mouth instantly muffled your sounds as he kissed you while you wrapped your arms around his neck.

Sweat collected on his forehead as he forcefully slid in and out of you, his hands back on your throat as he choked you. “Digame,”

“No...he...can’t,” you managed to let out between his grip on your throat and his rough thrusts.

Inching his cock deeper, Zabdiel slammed his hips forward, hammering your pussy. The sound of your skins smacking against eachother and short breaths echoed through the room and you desperately hoped no one could hear that on the other end of the hallway.

"Don't stop," you quietly moaned, your hand clasped the metal prison bar on your left, your engagement ring clanging against it over and over again as he pounded into you. Your knuckles turning completely white.

You arched your back, your feet trembled as your pussy clenched tighter around him.

"Come on, cum for me, princesa," he ordered as he squeezed your mouth with his hand. His thrusts became uncontrolled and erratic and your climax peaked. He continued plunging into you before he finally came inside you — a way for him to mark you despite the fact you were not his anymore.

Strands of hair were completely wet as you desperately tried to fix it while Zabdiel put you back down on the floor. Your legs were shaking as you pushed down your skirt and buttoned up your blouse.

You felt completely dirty but god did this feel so good.

His hands zipped back up his jumpsuit, brown eyes studying your every move as a smirk played on his lips.

Bending over, you gathered your files, placing them back into the folder he had previously thrown.

“I have to go,” you timidly said, avoiding his gaze.

“Sure, mi amor,” he boldly responded as he gently grabbed your chin and leaned in for a soft kiss.

“Zabdiel, this can’t happen anymore,” you warned him as your lips gently pulled away.

Stepping out of the cell, you indicated your fiancé that you were done.

Walking back towards the cell, he grabbed the keys and locked it up.

Zabdiel’s soft brown eyes lingered on yours as he leaned against the prison bars.

“It was nice to meet you, Mrs Y/L/N” he winked.

#zabdiel de jesus #zabdiel de jesus imagine #zabdiel de jesus smut #zabdiel #imagine

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shootycatfishgame · 5 years

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Well its done, "Shooty and the Catfish Episode 2: The Spoopies" is finally out in the wild for people to play, why you can even play it yourself for free if you head on over here: https://visitorsfromdreams.itch.io/shootycatfish-episode2 Truth be told the game has been out for 3 days now and has only been downloaded a grand total of 4 times. It might seem like a discouraging number for sure but its important to remember that this is the second episode of a series, and with the first episode itself only being downloaded a total of 124 times to date (my previous project Hazmat is sitting at 525 downloads and Flatwoods at 849 downloads) its not that surprising. In all honesty im not really expecting the series to really gain any sort of momentum until its fully finished and released as a stand alone product on Steam, and I think thats fair enough. The idea behind the episodic releases was largely so I could get the feedback to improve each episode as the project went along, and I think I have achieved that so far. So I guess you could consider this to be a post mortem. Where did things go right with Episode 2 and where did they go wrong? Well, for where things went right, development started in March and was finished in September so you could say the game had a 7 month development cycle. Looking back at it now due to the length of the episode that actually feels really excessive considering the amount of content in the actual game (which I will come back too) but compared to the first episodes 2 year development cycle it was a huge improvement. I am also pretty happy with how the games set up worked. Episode 1 played it very strait with its single town and non linear dungeon set up taken right from the standard JRPG guidebook. Episode 2 on the other hand was a little more experimental. The opening town was more about establishing a tone then a solid narrative with the Episodes dungeon being where all of the real story telling happens. While im sure this isnt a new idea, its something I havent personally experienced in any turn based RPGs. Sure, its not uncommon to find environmental story telling packed into the game world, but to have every combat encounter also be an NPC that pushes the narrative forward? I think the results were perhaps a little wordy and at times a bit on the nose, but for the most part I think it works. Episode 1 had a very non linear dungeon which worked well but it was nice working on something a little more directed as well which Episode 2's layout definitely was.

Im really happy without how the quality of life improvements in the game turned out, introducing new elements like coded doors for different kinds of keys and giving you the option of finishing the game without fighting the optional boss which, you know, actually made that optional boss optional. In fact I was so happy with those changes I went back and patched them into Episode 1 only a couple weeks back.

So where did things go wrong?

Well, to be honest, the only thing I wasnt happy with was how long it took me to get this game out. Like I said, 7 months is a big improvement compared to 2 years, but its still a lot longer than it should have been. Some of this was definitely my fault... as mentioned above there was a big push to have all the narrative put into the dungeon, but the down side of that was that it meant there was a lot more meaningful dialogue in this Episode than there was in Episode 1. The previous Episodes dialogue was mostly made up of silly gags from goofy NPCs in town, but for this Episode I had to create that ALONG with the more serious and narrative driven dialogue found in the dungeon itself. There were several weeks where I didnt touch the game at all because it all seemed so daunting. Ironically when I finally forced myself to write those sections it ended up only taking me 2 nights, so really I spent weeks if not months putting the project off out of fear of something that ended up taking collectively 6 hours tops.

So yeah... that explains some of the delay, but not all of it. The second issue that struck me during the development of this Episode was my own insecurity. The first 5 months this games development were during a time when I didnt know what was happening with my job, I was very nervous, and with my fiance being processed through the notoriously awful Australian immigration system I was also pretty damn scared. The last few weeks of those 5 months was a massive period of crunch at work for a huge project and then immediately it was over... and I was out of a job. If I had known for sure that this was how the gig would have turned out I would have spent more of my free time trying to develop a following. I might have even been able to get my Patreon into a state that could have helped me out financially a little, or atleast thats what I liked to think I would have done, but at the time I didnt have the confidence or energy to do so. This was followed with me taking up a freelance project (well quite a few actually but most were great) which while it has definitely paid my bills over the last couple of months, it has also left me exhausted, emotionally and physically. All of this slowed down the development of the game, and perhaps even more importantly had a large impact on the writing of it.

"Shooty and the Catfish: Episode 2 - The Spoopies" deals with some pretty heavy themes, with suicide and the treatment of suicide victims being chief amoung them. Then on top of that I realised half way through development that while the idea of an office building full of ghosts of asshole business people who commited suicide after a stock market crash does have some comedic value (poor taste as it may be), the gameplay loop of systematically killing every single one of those ghosts has absolutely no comedic value and is quite possibly the most morbid thing I had ever created... Ironically not even on purpose... I found myself in a situation where I accidently created a "suicide victims ghost murder simulator". While im no stranger to creating offensive or disturbing content, for once this wasnt my intention but rather the result of the games story concept clashing with the established gameplay mechanics... and realising too late. What do you do when you set out to make a dumb comedy about 2 wise cracking idiots that kill monsters for money and instead... well here we are. What a mess... Im not going to pretend that the game handles the subject of suicide well and I also dont think I ever could approach the subject in a satisfying way. If its treatment upsets or offends anyone I think thats completely understandable and any critism I receive because of it is completely justified. Something I do think that is a positive to come out of all this however is this is the first game project I have worked on that I feel, to me personally, is a piece of "art". Well I mean... I think all games are art, but playing through this game now I can see the struggle I was going through developing it reflected through the characters and through the writing. Its almost like playing through 5 months of my own loose streamed consciousness. My stress, my depression, my insecurity, my fear, my defeatism, its all there. The game has tonal whiplash of morbid nihilism and stupid dumb goofy comedy in a way I havent been able to pull of since my 2014 film Spilt Coffee (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp2HSx_f9WE) which ironically serves as a prequel to this game and was created at a time of my life when again, I felt quite trapped. Episode 2 might be the worst game I have made to a lot of people and thats totally fair, but I think its also my most personal and sincere for what thats worth. Thats it for this update, I have gone on long enough as it is. So where do we go from here? Well... I made myself and my players a promise at the end of Episode 2, and thats that Episode 3 will be a fun light hearted adventure. I think after this games development I really need it, and hopefully the contents of this depressing Episode doesnt stop those players from coming with me on that adventure too. If your interested in helping me support my indie game development then why not check out my Patreon? https://www.patreon.com/VisitorsFromDreams Every little bit helps ~ <3

Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to read this post.

#rpgmaker #RPG Maker #indie game #Indiegame #post mortem #pixel art #pixelart

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dragon-zena · 5 years

Text

all your troubles in my hair

Fandom: Mob Psycho 100

Relationship: Serizawa Katsuya/Reigen Arataka

Characters: Serizawa Katsuya, Reigen Arataka, Kageyama “Mob” Shigeo, Kageyama Ritsu, Kageyama Siblings’ Parents, Dimple

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, reigen has horrible coping mechanisms: the fic, Spoilers for Chapter 100, OVA spoilers, Anxiety, Depression, Therapy

Summary: Neither of them are naïve enough to believe that love is meant to solve all of their internalized issues.

Read it on AO3!

Neither of them are naïve enough to believe that love is meant to solve all of their internalized issues.

They both have bad days; it's not something that really comes to a surprise to Katsuya, especially after months of being together.

Katsuya has days where he feels like he's been in a loop, a dream that he'll wake up from, still stuck in his childhood bedroom. Sometimes, he smells the trash, the dirty laundry. He sits up in bed, and there's nothing but white noise under his skin, roaring in his ears. Days where he wants to lock himself in the bathroom, hands shaking.

As time goes on, he has less and less of these days, but even still, sometimes he'll be riding the train with Arataka, towards an apartment that they share more often than not, and he'll look out of the window, admiring just how bright the moon is. And then he'll look at Arataka, leaning into his side with an old newspaper, and he'll watch those long eyelashes flutter as he skims each page, right to left, and there is a small flicker of fear within him—the thought that he might lose experiences like these, again, someday.

And while he's honest about his feelings, sometimes—ironically enough—he just wants to lock them up in a room and throw away the key. When the nights are harder to sleep through, nightmares chasing him into wakefulness, Katsuya almost feels frustrated, angry.

Arataka notices (he always notices), and Katsuya can't ever decide if he wants his boyfriend to ask about whether he wants to talk, or if he would rather be left alone. Whatever he chooses always feels like the wrong answer. He doesn't know if there is a right answer, not after days where he lies in bed feeling awful about a comment made with more snark than usual, or days where he can't make himself speak, at all, days where only the wrong things come out of his mouth. Arataka never takes it personally, but it fills Katsuya with inexplicable vitriol.

He's been working on all of it, having found a therapist that actually understands him after years of having to interact with therapists that he felt never gave a shit about him. He's started to categorize his days, coping by journaling his moods and triggers, what makes him feel this way. What makes him feel better, what feels safe for him. It helps.

Arataka doesn’t have a therapist, doesn’t think that he needs one. It’s something that used to bother Katsuya, the thought that maybe Arataka thought that only certain people needed a therapist—that maybe he thought he was too good for one. But the longer that he experiences loving him, the more he realizes that the man is doing his damnedest to just internalize his issues and move on as though they don't exist. Katsuya thinks that maybe Arataka feels as though if he ignores his problems, he’ll be more credible to the people that need his help. If he ignores his problems, he won’t take up space and resources from people that “deserve it” more than he does.

If he ignores his problems, he’ll still be useful to someone, his accomplishments won’t be stripped away by whatever makes him wake up in cold sweats, whatever makes his face twitch minutely out of its normal placid expression, gone so fast that a stranger might think that they imagined it.

Katsuya is no stranger.

He can see it whenever Arataka gets too caught up in his newspaper on the train home, the way that he tenses up when Katsuya stands to get off, expecting him to follow. The way that Arataka suddenly jumps at the movement, quickly snatching one of Katsuya’s sleeves with wide, faraway eyes. The way that he can’t seem to settle when he’s without something to read, nothing to keep his mind off of the rattling of the train, the screech of the vehicle coming to a stop, the train cabin being thrown into darkness as they pass through a tunnel or under a bridge. The way that he’s always the last person to board the train and the first person off. The way he refuses to fall asleep, even when Katsuya offers him his shoulder.

He sees it in the aftermath of Shigeo’s last explosion. The two of them had waited with Shigeo and Dimple until his parents came to get him. Ritsu had reached them first, of course, and was promptly pulled into a hug by his older brother. The two of them let themselves feel for a few minutes, and Dimple hadn’t been too keen on leaving the two of them alone for a while, settling himself on top of Shigeo’s head like a languid cat. He was looking a little worse for wear, himself, small and a paler green than what he was before he disappeared.

Once the Kageyama parents arrived, Arataka had pushed himself up from his haphazard crouch, using Katsuya as a crutch and biting the inside of his cheek to stifle any pained sounds he made. He smiled genuinely, eyes glassy, and conversed quietly and respectfully with Shigeo’s parents, holding their children so closely. Returned their gratitude for the opportunity to know Shigeo when they had thanked him for looking after their son. Dimple had given Katsuya a significant look over Shigeo’s head when Arataka’s voice cracked, and he had nodded, eyebrows knitting together. When Shigeo had pulled Arataka into a hug before leaving, the man looked prepared to cry, again, and when Katsuya had lifted his young friend into a bear hug, telling him that he was so glad that he was safe, that he had come to a conclusion that made him feel at peace with himself, Shigeo had nodded, clutching him tighter, but he, too, had subtly asked Katsuya to look over his shishou. And Katsuya had nodded again, ruffling his hair and watching as he walked away with his parents.

It left Katsuya and Arataka alone. Not that it mattered, because the moment that the Kageyama car disappeared, Arataka had collapsed to his knees, wheezing in pain. Eyes bleary, he managed a raspy “I can’t afford any hospital bills, right now” before passing out, eyes rolling back into his head. Katsuya only panicked a little, hurriedly bundling him up in his arms and beginning to make his way back from whence the two of them came. With Arataka unconscious, buried in Katsuya’s arms, he had been able to start digesting what happened once he had let the other man walk into Shigeo’s tornado. He thought about how dangerous (and brave, but mainly dangerous) the choice Arataka made was, how quickly he had lost sight of him in the cycle of dusty wind and debris. He thought about what Arataka had planned to leave behind.

The suit jacket. The dress shoes.

They never discuss it fully, not for lack of trying. It’s just, well.

Arataka throws himself into his work, deflecting “personal problems” when they’re working, invested strictly into his mask of professionalism, even when there are no clients. The first time Katsuya tried to push him into talking about his emotions, the man began to talk circles around him, so quickly and with so much anxious fervor that Katsuya ended up at a loss of words, mind swimming. It only occurred to him later that Arataka had told him practically nothing, and he tried not to get frustrated about it. Katsuya subtly asks him about getting help and acknowledging his feelings multiple times, but the only other time that he pressed Arataka led to an argument that lasted for at least a week before they apologized to each other, and by then, it seemed as though the man had developed at least five more different coping mechanisms, none of them even remotely helpful. His sleep schedule has become absolutely ridiculous, and sometimes Katsuya sees his hands twitch for the emergency cigarettes that he keeps in the bottom drawer of his desk. He never goes for it, but he lately seems stressed enough to cave more sooner than later.

Sometimes, Arataka just parks himself next to Katsuya, back straight. He’s not close enough to comfortably reach for, but he’s there.

Tonight is one of those nights. It's Friday, and Katsuya can count on his hands the number of hours of sleep that Arataka has gotten throughout the entire week. Not only that, but something must have been happening to make almost every client that entered Spirits & Such unnecessarily hostile. At some point earlier, his boyfriend had attempted to call Shigeo, ask him if he wanted to come with them for "ramen or something, it’s up to you, really, Mob," but Shigeo had already made other plans. Arataka said that he hadn’t minded, and he probably didn’t, committed to the concept of “not distorting” anyone else with his presence. Even still, his smile seemed a little tighter after hanging up, informing Katsuya that it would just be them, tonight.

Arataka sits stiffly on the other side of the couch, and Katsuya acts like he’s not watching him through his peripheral while working on his math homework. He doesn’t know when he’s going to use this. Remembering Arataka’s frequent complaints about math, he opens his mouth to tell this to him, hoping to make the silence a little less unbearable. But the sight before him makes him pause, words caught in his throat.

His boyfriend is crying silent tears, lips pursed, eyebrows furrowed, nose crinkled. He makes no move to wipe his face, and Katsuya doesn’t think that he notices that he’s been caught until he moves a little closer, making him jump, head swiveling to stare at Katsuya. They both grimace at each other, an understanding passing between them, despite Arataka’s clear embarrassment at being caught crying.

“Arataka,” Katsuya breathes out, scooting a little closer to his boyfriend and cupping his face into his hands, thumbs doing their best to wipe away tears that don’t appear to be stopping anytime soon. “What do you need?”

Arataka curls in on himself, averting his eyes away from Katsuya’s worried face. He sniffs as though trying to suck the tears and snot back up, and Katsuya tries not to wince, heart clenching.

Arms wrapped around himself, Arataka admits, voice quavering, “I think I need help.”

It’s quiet, small and brittle, but it’s there. Katsuya pulls his lover into his arms, presses his head gently into the junction of his shoulder and neck, kisses his temple sweetly. “I’ll help you,” he says. “We can help each other.”

Arataka says nothing, but he presses a little harder into Katsuya. It's not long before the man falls asleep, exhausted. Katsuya kisses the crown of his head, buries his nose into coarse brown strands.

Neither of them are naïve enough to believe that love will solve all of their internalized issues, but Katsuya watches Arataka sleep, and he thinks, warmth blooming in his chest, "Thank god we have each other." It doesn’t take long for him to follow Arataka’s lead.

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #serirei #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #my writing #gurgles #i amn just a little projector...i canmot chang this

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anthonybialy · 5 years

Text

Nothing Conserved

Disappointment is the official feeling of our political times, which is a healthy reminder that everyone trying to meddle with our affairs is a ghastly dolt who should be banished to Siberia just to be safe. Those who are definitely pro- and anti-Trump and definitely not as conservative as claimed go against their own purported stances equally. All involved seem to cherish life getting filtered through a gold-painted prism.

Fealty to a loathsome showman may not be the best way to ensure liberty. The only thing worse than loyalty to a person over ideas is this particular person. Donald Trump has spent his maddeningly cushy life providing every chance to realize he's not to be trusted. Yet some persist in adhering to the astounding fable that he's succeeded on merit. There are many self-made delusions today.

Yet the world may not be dissolving as claimed by some revulsed at the thought of who's president. Professional presidential foes give too much credit to someone whose putzing is in direct correlation to his boasting. You'd think they'd notice just how inept he is precisely in defiance of his claims, considering how many of their thoughts are dedicated to what an awful jerk he is. But hating him gives their lives purpose, which is why they try to establish his credentials as a Marvel-level villain.

At the same time, Never Trump should be a reputable brand name. But it's almost as discredited as Trump. One can see that uniquely unpleasant bodily function-style word on a hotel and know it's safe to patronize a quieter establishment. Tainting the reputation of those against a singularly boastful president takes active incompetence. Max Boot should bow so deeply that his hat falls off.

Guess who loved Washington all along? There are an unnerving amount of correct answers. Many self-identified conservatives profess admiration for politicians who are merely less prominent in shamelessness. You have to work pretty hard at screwing up defiance against an executive who's not just an off-putting boor but also someone who's showed no commitment to principles other than divorce.

The president's ideology consisting of deciding what should be done by the time he finishes whatever sentence he's uttering. That's easy to oppose, right? His tendency to back federal action is the purest application of ego around. It's natural to think only the government can solve problems, especially when someone as unprecedentedly amazing as him is serving as head of state. An alleged self-made hero can't ponder life without someone else supervising.

Those who've decided the president is wrong before he's uttered a word adhere to his inflexibility in a move that amuses everyone watching. It's easy to see why you would conclude he's being a twit in arrogance, but it's still crucial to know even the most obnoxious boor may occasionally stumble upon truth.

The refusal to consider that every word Trump says may not be an endorsement of genocide holds back the Bulwark brigade. A similar reflex in response to someone impulsive why you shouldn't trust a single word uttered by, say, S.E. Cupp about politics or otherwise. If she claimed Jersey Mike's is better than Subway, I'd agree only after reassessing every opinion I've ever had.

Each faction makes fundamentally incorrect assumptions. It's nice to have common ground. Untrustworthiness is present in anyone who determines what to think based on what anyone else thinks. They couldn't just ponder issues individually as they arise: considering every single issue as it comes is like taking inventory, and that could take all night.

Why not let a president determine everything for you? That's why free people vote. Yet those who oppose Trump with energy they could use to bring love into their lives are doing the same. Rumble participants presume their handsome dreamboat is always correct or their squinting archenemy is necessarily wrong by biblical prophecy. Many people remain committed to ideas if opining that the reality host president is super awesome counts.

Some people's beliefs won't change starting now. Purported conservatives sure are dedicated to adulating a robust government headed by a longtime Democrat and frequent liberal. Flexibility means deciding what to agree with based on what Trump claims is absolute truth that day.

It's possible to occasionally agree in theory with someone so disagreeable. But presuming someone who thinks the universe exists to gratify his ego is for properly limiting government is as foolish as thinking debt's shrinking.

Many political philosophies consist of obeying whoever is the most prominent person on their side. Such a willingness to agree is easier for Democrats, as one can safely presume their leaders will slavishly endorse authority exercised by a clumsy entity known for screwing up practical results as it philosophically exceeds its authority. But the side that used to go through the motions of pretending government sucks ought to know better. It doesn't matter whether they're following Trump or Bill Kristol.

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jewish-privilege · 6 years

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...There are two related, yet distinct, kinds of anti-Semitism that have snuck into mainstream politics. One is associated with the left and twists legitimate criticisms of Israel into anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. On the mainstream right, meanwhile, political leaders and media figures blame a cabal of wealthy Jews for mass immigration and left-wing cultural politics in classic anti-Semitic fashion.

[Rep. Ilhan Omar’s (D-MN)] tweet was a pretty clear example of the first kind of anti-Semitism. Plenty of Jews who are critical of the Israeli government, including me, found her comments offensive...

But it’s also clear that a lot of Omar’s critics don’t have much of a leg to stand on. Conservatives have been trying to label Omar an anti-Semite since she was elected in November, on the basis of fairly flimsy evidence. (...) Trump once told a room full of Jewish Republicans that “you’re not going to support me because I don’t want your money,” adding that “you want to control your politicians, that’s fine.”

The fact that Omar apologized under pressure, and that Trump and McCarthy have never faced real consequences for their use of anti-Semitic tropes, tells you everything you need know about the politics of anti-Semitism in modern America.

...There are two core truths about this incident. First, Omar’s statement was unacceptable. Second, Republicans going after her — including the president — should spend less time on Democrats and more time dealing with the far worse anti-Semitism problem on the right.

...In the day and a half since Omar’s initial comments, a number of left-wing writers have emerged to defend her. They argue that Omar was attempting to point out the financial clout of the pro-Israel lobby — the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, or AIPAC — and not to make generalizations about Jews. The pushback against Omar, they say, is part of a broader campaign to smear a young Muslim congresswoman and silence criticism of Israel.

...It’s true that in some cases, all criticism of Israel or AIPAC, even if it’s legitimate, is labeled anti-Semitic — and that’s a real problem. Omar’s faith has made her a particular target, and it’s fair to want to defend her against these smears in the abstract.

But the specifics of Omar’s tweet make things quite different. In the original context — where she was quote-tweeting [Glenn Greenwald]— she says that US lawmakers’ support for Israel is “all” about money. Yes, it’s a Puff Daddy reference, but she’s a member of Congress and maybe should be a little more careful about the implications of what she says...

There are two problems here: First, the tweet isn’t true. The US-Israel alliance has deeper and more fundamental roots than just cash, including the legacy of Cold War geopolitics, evangelical theology, and shared strategic interests in counterterrorism. Lobbying certainly plays a role, but to say that “US political leaders” defending Israel is “all” about money is to radically misstate how America’s Israel politics work (and discount the findings of the scholars who study it).

Second, and more important, totalizing statements like this play into the most troubling anti-Semitic stereotypes. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, an infamous early-20th-century Russian forgery, describes a plot by Jewish moneyed interests to subvert and destroy Christian societies through their finances. This in turn draws on longstanding European anti-Semitic traditions that portray Jews as greedy and conniving.

After World War II and the creation of the state of Israel, the conspiracy theory shifted. Anti-Semites started using “Zionist” or “Zio” as a stand-in for “Jewish,” using Jewish activism in favor of the Jewish state as proof that they were right all along about the Jewish conspiracy. David Duke, the former Louisiana state representative and Ku Klux Klan grand wizard, released a YouTube video in 2014 that bills itself as an “illustrated” update of the Protocols. The video features footage of leading Democratic and Republican politicians speaking to pro-Israel groups, with the caption “both are in the grips of Zio money, Zio media, and Zio bankers.”

...Omar is, of course, not coming from the same hateful place as Duke is. But by using too-similar language, she unintentionally provides mainstream cover for these conspiracy theories. After her comments, Duke repeatedly defended her, even tweeting a meme that said “it took a Muslim congresswoman to actually stand up & tell the truth that we ALL know” (he rescinded the praise after her apology).

This is not to equate Duke and Omar — which, to be clear, would be absurd — but rather to point out how if you’re not careful when talking about pro-Israel lobbying, you can provide ammunition to some awful people. By saying that US support for Israel is “all” about money, Omar was essentially mainstreaming ideas that have their roots in anti-Semitism, helping make them more acceptable to voice on the left.

...There’s a real dilemma here. Pro-Palestinian activists, writers, and politicians have every right to point out what they see as the pernicious influence of groups like AIPAC. The group is undeniably powerful, and it’s worth mentioning in our conversations about both Israel policy and money in politics. You can and should be able to say, “AIPAC’s lobbying pushes America’s Israel policy in a hawkish pro-Israel direction,” without saying that it is literally only about dollars from (disproportionately) Jewish donors.

At the same time side, there is a special need on the left — where most pro-Palestinian sentiment resides — to be careful about just how you discuss those things. It’s not just a matter of providing ammunition to the David Dukes of the world; it’s about the moral corruption of the left and pro-Palestinian movement. If references to the baleful influence of Jews on Israel policy become too flip, too easy, things can go really wrong.

...When left-wing insurgent Jeremy Corbyn won the center-left Labour Party’s leadership [in Britain] in 2015, the people who inhabited these spaces seized control of the party power centers.

Corbyn, who had once referred to members of Hamas and Hezbollah as his “friends,” opened the floodgates for the language of Labour’s left flank to go mainstream. The result is a three-year roiling scandal surrounding anti-Semitism inside the party.

Dozens of Labour elected officials, candidates, and party members have been caught giving voice to anti-Semitic comments. One Labour official called Hitler “the greatest man in history,” and added that “it’s disgusting how much power the Jews have in the US.” Another Labour candidate for office said “it’s the super rich families of the Zionist lobby that control the world.” The party has received 673 complaints about anti-Semitism in its ranks in the last 10 months alone, an average of over two complaints per day.

...This is why Omar’s tweet was so troubling, and why the pushback from leadership really was merited. If the line isn’t drawn somewhere, the results for Jews — who still remain a tiny, vulnerable minority — can be devastating.

...The way Omar handled the controversy is interesting. Her apology was certainly given under immense pressure, but it reads (at least to me) as quite sincere[, and] this kind of sincere willingness to reconsider past comments is characteristic of Omar. She had previously gotten flak for a tweet about Israel “hypnotizing” the world, and recently gave a lengthy and thoughtful apology for the connection to anti-Semitic tropes during an appearance on The Daily Show.

“I had to take a deep breath and understand where people were coming from and what point they were trying to make, which is what I expect people to do when I’m talking to them, right, about things that impact me or offend me,” she told host Trevor Noah.

This is not the kind of behavior you see from deeply committed anti-Semites. Yair Rosenberg, a journalist at the Jewish magazine Tablet who frequently writes about anti-Semitism, argued on Monday that Omar has earned the benefit of the doubt:

“I’ve covered anti-Semitism for years on multiple continents, and this level of self-reflection among those who have expressed anti-Semitism is increasingly rare. Not only did Omar apologize for the specific sentiment, but she put herself in the shoes of her Jewish interlocutors and realized that she ought to extend to them the same sensitivity to anti-Semitism as she would want others to extend to racism.”

...This is what it looks like when the system works. A member of Congress says something offensive, most of her party explains why it’s wrong, and then she issues a sincere apology and demonstrates an interest in changing. That is a healthy party dealing with bad behavior in a healthy way.

This is not what you see on the Republican side when it comes to most forms of bigotry — up to and including anti-Semitism.

...Last summer, McCarthy sent a tweet accusing three Democratic billionaires of Jewish descent — George Soros, Tom Steyer, and Michael Bloomberg — of trying to buy the midterm election...

...Around the same time, President Trump claimed that protesters against Brett Kavanaugh were being paid by Soros...

And Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz suggested Soros was behind the so-called “migrant caravan” coming to the US through Mexico, a theory spread when Trump tweeted the video in Gaetz’s original tweet...

This all follows years of Soros demonization in the conservative press, with everyone from conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to Fox News anchors blaming the Jewish billionaire for various ills in the United States.

The defense of these lines is the same as the left-wing defense of Omar: It’s not anti-Semitic to simply state facts. But many of these “facts,” like Soros masterminding immigrant caravans, are false. Moreover, creating a narrative in which Soros and other left-wing Jews are puppet masters, using their money to undermine America from within, they are engaging in the same normalization of Protocols-style anti-Semitic tropes as Omar.

What’s more, they’ve done it with virtually no official pushback. The GOP has not reacted to the Soros hate and other anti-Semitic conspiracy theories with the same fierceness with which the Democrats responded to Omar’s comment. There has been no leadership statement condemning the mainstreaming of anti-Semitism; in fact, demonizing Soros has long been part of the overall party strategy. In 2016, Trump released a campaign ad that played a quote from one of his speeches over footage of Soros and former Fed Chair Janet Yellen (also Jewish) that comes across as an anti-Semitic dog whistle...

...“Don’t kid yourself that the most violent forms of hate have been aimed at others — blacks, Muslims, Latino immigrants. Don’t ever think that your government’s pro-Israel policies reflect a tolerance of Jews,” Jonathan Weisman, the New York Times’s deputy Washington editor and author of the new book (((Semitism))), writes. “We have to consider where power is rising, and the Nationalist Right is a global movement.”

...While the Democratic Party handled an offensive comment quickly, Republicans have never shown a willingness to do the same when it comes to right-wing anti-Semitism. There’s a reason most Jews in the United States are Democrats, and will likely remain so for the foreseeable future.

[Read Zack Beauchamp’s full piece at Vox.]

#long post #antisemitism #if you reblog or reply with antisemitism or any defense of antisemitism i will block you #if you reblog or reply with islamophobia anti blackness misogynoir or any other bigotry i will block you

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journeyofbell · 5 years

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Interview about preventing bullying (translated)

I was interviewed about bullying and how to prevent it for a bachelor project on the effects of childhood bullying. Here’s my part, translated from Danish! (questions in bold and cursive, marked with numbers)

1) What's your story?

I went to a school with very little control of the children in the class. Most of us were girls, only 3 were boys and it was pure madness. The girl bullies ruled the class with an iron fist and never stopped pestering the ones who stood out. There was one girl who liked horses and they made her life a living hell. If she wasn't in class, the bullies would refuse to sit on her chair and talk about how gross it was.

I was both bullied and ignored, bullied for being smart and reading a lot of books, but mostly ignored. And that might not seem that bad but here's the thing: when people ignore you, you don't know why they don't like you. Then you begin to wonder what's wrong and make up all sorts of issues with yourself. It wouldn't have been so bad if my mother had told me they were wrong but she added fuel to the fire and bullied me as well. Mostly for being abnormal, yelling about why I “couldn't just be like the other kids”.

It wasn't until 7th grade I finally had enough and straight up demanded to be transferred to another school. I never looked back at that hellhole and never said goodbye to the class. I was the 4th student to leave that class due to bullying.

2) How did the teachers go about the bullies?

They didn't do anything at all. They sat the bully and the victim down, then told them to figure it out. The bully played it nice, said sorry and that it would never happen again, all while grinning at you when the teacher wasn't looking. You knew they were lying and nothing ever changed. They just kept on bullying and the teachers never did anything further. The parents weren't involved either unless it was downright violent.

It didn't get to that point for me but I remember a boy who tried to strangle a younger student with the latter's scarf, only because he didn't like the football team the scarf was representing. That bully was only suspended for a couple of days.

3) Did it help to change schools?

Absolutely. I got friends and learned I wasn't the weirdo the old class convinced me I was for almost 8 years. I despise those bullies to this day and if I met them today, I wouldn't as much as look at them. They don't deserve my time and I hope they're doing awful. It might seem spiteful but none of them ever made it up or tried to apologise. They have no remorse and I have very little respect for that kind of attitude. I spend so much time and money on medicine and therapy and I honestly want to send the bill to them.

4) How are you today?

Not too well, mentally speaking. I have anxiety, has been hospitalized for depression and can't work a full time job. I don't sleep well either, haven't had a proper night of sleep for over 6 years. I have been to a hospital specialized in sleep issues but they can't figure out the cause so I just have to live with it. But I'm fairly sure it's due to my cortisol levels, as I get stressed very easily.

5) What should've been done differently?

The parents of the bully should've been held responsible. They never were and it still bothers me today. These bullies had problems too but you can't ask them to just solve them on their own. You need to involve the parents and make a better effort to stop the problem, both to help the bully and thereby the victim.

6) What do you suggest schools should do differently to stop bullying?

Better effort with the parents and involving the authorities if necessary. I usually break it down to three steps:

Alert the bully's parent and ask them to solve the problem. If they don't know how, offer them help from a professional. The child will have to apologise in front of the class for their behaviour and be held up to their promise of doing better.

If the parents refuse to do anything or fail multiple times, the authorities need to step in and figure out why nothing is changing. This can be the child having an illness, problems with the parents (substance abuse, violence, sexual abuse) or that the parents just don't care.

If the parents keep failing despite being offered the right help, the child will be pulled out of school if they continue to bully the other students. This will be put on an internal record that all schools can access, then the new school will know why the child got expelled in the first place.

7) You don't think that's harsh?

It is but it's nothing compared to the damage bullies do to society on the long run. It might not be pleasant for the bully but if the authorities can help them with an illness or to get out of a bad family, it'd be worth it. Then the victim won't be bullied and the bully will get the right tools to stop bullying.

It's the parents who get the real punishment, of course. It's not a bully's fault that their parents fail them and I think it won't be that extreme in most cases. Most parents just need help to deal with their child and that's far cheaper than having multiple victims of bullying grow up and develop mental issues, use a ton of the state's money on healthcare or even commit suicide. It can't possibly be more expensive to prevent the issues than dealing with the aftermath.

8) Do you think it's realistic?

When we get more statistics about the effects of bullying, politicians will hopefully act on it. It is the dream scenario but if they can just do it better than my school, I'd be more than happy. Help the the victims and the bully, then punish neglecting parents. That isn't harsh to me: it's dealing with an issue in the most empathetic and respectful way. It's far more respectful than asking children to figure out their own problems, as if they knew the root of it or how to stop it.

#interview #psychology #bullying #bully #bullies #school #parenting #ptsd

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sayahdirtbag · 5 years

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Tell us your favorite quotes from your character. Give us an idea of who they are from five things they’ve said. Then tag your friends!

Tagged by: @pathtotruth Tagging: @arsenalredarrow @sonicanary @warandpunishment @thecoolerspeedy and anyone who sees this

“Listen up, fat white men! I have just gotten behind the Lamb Valley Residents versus Elevast lawsuit. And when I say “gotten behind,” I mean, given them an obscene amount of money. My people have created a non-profit fund where folks around the country can donate to the legal bills that will be incurred. So, things on the Lamb Valley end are gonna be flush. I know that this chrome and glass cat house you cheese-eaters run is worth billions and you can drag this suit out for years. I figure I can pull off at least two, maybe even four years, easy. That’s enough to put a bullet in the head of this commercialized gentrifying eyesore you @$$#*%$ call a “boon to tourism.” So, I justed wanted to stop by and say, “howdy-do,” let you guys know that you’re gonna get your butts kicked, and I’m the guy who’s wearing the size 12′s. Take ‘er easy.” (Green Arrow Vol. 3 Issue 26)

Oliver Queen summed up in one monologue. He cares about people, he’s incredibly empathic and wants to save people in more ways than shooting arrows. Oliver understands that his wealth is a resource that he can spread his money to increase the living quality of others. Despite being rich himself, he cannot stand the 1%; that sentiment puts him in an “underdog”/”outlier” that his pride soaks up. This monologue also shines on the fact that Oliver will always find the opportunity to boast about himself, cause wow enormous ego.

“*Speaking to Dinah* And it was damn! It was fun. Right up to the point where it cost me my fortune, my friends, and damn near my son. I’ve been wandering ever since, looking for the part that’s missing... the part I forgot. The basics. *Dinah’s gone* Hey! Where’d you go? Can’t be that boring! Well... am I talking to myself here? I am talking to myself here. Bad sign, Oliver. Might as well save the expense of humiliation of years in the nursing home. *Pretends to shoot himself in the head and slumps to the ground*” (Long Bow Hunters, Issue 1)

Even when conversations get heavy and serious, Oliver finds a way to joke to lighten the mood. He carries so much on his shoulders, so much guilt and regrets that it’s easy for him to slip into depression. Oliver has to separate himself from the reality of his life by constantly throwing quips and making bits. (Plus, Oliver makes tons of mistakes, but he always attempts to better himself and do better. He’s constantly under construction, and will always be under construction because he’s human. Oliver is incredibly human )

“Congrats Ollie! Keep that arrow in its quiver!” (Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding Special)

This isn’t a quote by him, BUT THE MAN IS A HORN DOG, AND SOMETIMES THAT GETS THE BETTER OF HIM, AND HE ENDS UP CHEATING. He cannot control his sexual urges, and that gets him into tons of trouble. It’s just who he is, sorry folks.

“*Speaking to Hal* There are children dying, honest people cowering in fear, disillusioned kids ripping up campuses. On the streets of Memphis, a good black man died, and in Los Angeles, a good white man fell. Something is wrong. Something is killing us all! Some hideous moral cancer is rotting our very souls. And you *Speaks to Guardian* sitting on your mudball, preening like a smug tomcat. How dare you presume to meddle in the affairs of humanity, when human beings are no more than statistics to you and your crew. *Guardian asks how to fix the problem* That’s easy! Come off your perch. Touch, taste, laugh, and cry! Learn where we're at... and why!” (Green Lantern/Green Arrow Issue 1)

So I’ve already mentioned that he always attempts to make life better for others with his own resources. This is because he knows what it is like for people who are not as fortunate; he survived on a deserted island after living a life of luxury, he understands what it is like to live off of very little and struggle to survive each day. Oliver hates the fact that so many people in America live like this daily in cities, in the modern age. He wants the world to open its eyes to see that the world is suffering and that the problem won’t fix itself. Oliver forces people to see what they don’t want to see, showing his friends and even other aliens that this world is beautiful, and needs to be taken care of (hence the road trip with the munchkin). Also, Oliver doesn’t care if he’s facing a powerful alien, a diety, or his best friend, he will chew you out and call it like it is, he doesn’t hold back.

"Says who? You remember what we did yesterday? We saved the world, again. You don’t think that has any value? Well, think again, pal. The Justice League goes on, with or without you. Look, nobody can question your service or commitment to making things better. If you’re quitting because you think you’ve already done your fair share, fine. We’ll throw you a parade. but if you’re quitting because it’s easier than continuing the fight, then you’re not the heroes we all thought you were. The world needs the Justice League, and the Justice League needs you, Superman.”

Even though Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and he hardly see eye-to-eye, Oliver has so much respect for the big three. Their moral compass, their willingness to sacrifice all that they are for the good of mankind is incredibly awe-inspiring for Oliver. He will never be as good-natured as Superman, never be diplomatic as Wonder Woman, or morally straight as Batman, and he is aware that their presence in the world is essential for a better change. Oliver will always support the Justice League, and especially the big three, telling them not to quit when it gets tough because the world needs them.

#meme

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