#Aziraphale and his dumbass

[alex-the-irate]

You know when they are in the magic shop, and Azi discovers the props?? Did anyone else notice?? How Azi moaned?? Like, that was so innocent and so obscene at the same time?? I wanted to mute my speakers during every rewatch because goddamn I wonder how many times Crowley had listened to THAT in the past to have zero reaction to it

[ineffableteeth]

I still love the sassy look Crowley gave Aziraphale after the french thing, he sat his ass down put his chin in his hand and SHOOK HIS HEAD

[womp-womp098]

i see a lot of people talking about aziraphale being oblivious about Crowley being homeless but I raise you this: Aziraphale is trying to get Crowley to stay at the bookshop, but Crowley is too stubborn to accept help.

[doomedlemur]

I need more "oblivious of his own feelings" Crowley in my life.

I want this snake to have been besotted since the walls of Eden but in 6000 years never analyzed or connected the dots of his feelings to be "what humans do."

Where is my "never thought about what calling him 'angel' implied to other people until he choked on the word in front of Nina" Crowley

The "really thought Aziraphale was criticizing his driving" Crowley

The "thinks the way they look at each other is just normal friends things" Crowley

Where??

(I could, and maybe will, write a whole meta about how firmly I believe in this headcanon.)

[bagelsenjoyer14]

One of the main things I’m curious about season two is Crowley’s living situation. Like okay we have all agreed that dog is homeless, but how on earth did he get in this situation LMFAOO I don’t mean to kick a man while he’s down but surely he has thought about other possibilities than living in his old ass car…like it looks cramped in there with all the plants and I am sure they did not make very comfortable seats back then.

I know in the books Hell pays for his apartment and they likely stopped paying after he low key (high key) betrayed them (I wonder if they stopped paying right after? How long has he been homeless then? Maybe they had to wait until a lease contract was up?) but my main concern is why has he not just miracled some money for a new flat or at least a hotel? I mean shit he could just miracle up a empty house and live there? Is he being dramatic maybe, or what if he can’t preform miracles anymore? I’m very curious

I also agree with the theory that Crowley has not told aziraphale that he is currently homeless because he is too stubborn to ask for help, like I just imagine after their little cafe date that Crowley is like “alright I best be off to my FLAT yes the one I’ve lived in for YEARS and continue to live in, ah yes the one Hell still PAYS for haha” and then he just walks a block away and sits awkwardly in his Bentley.

Also maybe Crowley needs expresso because he hasn’t slept well in the Bentley and his body is so used to sleeping he gets tired?

[moonyinpisces]

i’m not even thinking about a kiss in s3 rn i’m thinking about an almost kiss. middle of an argument that’s going around in circles because they each refuse to be vulnerable. aziraphale challenging crowley to bring the final fifteen up, crowley refusing because he needs aziraphale to pull his weight here. and without realizing it they get closer and closer until there’s only inches separating them and when they realize it at the same time they both stop. inhale sharply. eyes dart down to each others lips. and then after a beat they sway the slightest bit closer like they’re being pulled together, crowley down and aziraphale up, and they keep leaning until finally—

but alas. dumbass muriel breaks the moment by knocking over a bookcase or some shit and they both have to jump away and furiously avoid eye contact. and then not only do they have to keep reckoning with the kiss they shared at the end of s2 but also. now they know they both want to do it again. and the 6000 year edging streak continues

[bluecloudsandwhitesky]

Ok so the ONE thing I will give Crowley a little bit of shit for ( and even then I’m so sorry bbg but just listen) is the “ no nightingales” line.

Cuz that was so unnecessarily cruel?? Like at this point they’d already broken each other’s hearts. This is before his last hurrah to communicate via smooch. So like just why?? Why throw that in his face? Your song? The symbol of your love? Yeah it smushed our hearts but it cut Aziraphale deeper than all of us combined. Look at his face after Crowley says this. He’s not just hurt. He’s angry. He’s pissed that not only has he been rejected ( his POV) but now Crowley is just kicking salt in the wound. I think this is the only time on their whole entire history Crowley has truly and willfully been cruel to his angel. Which like.. Crowley you dumbass! You can’t just say the worst possible thing to the person you love most in the universe and then kiss him!! On what planet was that going to work?!?!

[hg-aneh]

Hi,ik I've been asking questions frequently but I'mma do it again bc I'm that petty;

In the AziraCrow relationship/marriage/or whatever. Who do u think is the housewife/husband? 😀

if we're talking about traditional gender roles applied to marriage ((which i believe would NOT apply to them in canon as they're both nonbinary supernatural beings)), i have to preface this by saying that i rlly don't agree with them as a concept

[if ppl choose to engage in them and not judge others for not doing so then good for them (idgaf akfbsjf)]

i hate that they're still being imposed onto people and that they haven't been left in the past for some contexts

i also want to clarify that the following """analysis""" I'm going to make is all for the sake of poking fun at gender roles and satirizing their entire existence.

Having said that, these are my headcanons:

Aziraphale-housewife, Crowley-husband

Why? Simply because husbands are fucking useless and I like to bully Crowley cuz he stinks and he sucks c0ck and b4-

I'm just goofing around 😭

In my little bubble world, they'd be neither (or both if you wanna see it from that POV)

Let's start with this:

If we take the definition of a traditional husband, which is basically "i work and do nothing else cuz I'm a man and men have their mommies i mean wives do everything for them" and take the Work part away, which is what we'd do if we were to place the ineffables in the south downs aka their retirement shack, then you get a useless fuck

And in reality, they both do jackshit (that's the whole premise of s1) so????? does that mean they're both husbands???

For further insight let's try to affirm Aziraphale is the housewife.

Aziraphale bakes, so he's probably a decent cook too; that's "housewife" material. He also happens to be very pretty and plump and a blonde, which I've been told are pretty ladylike things to be (/sarcasm)

(There are no pretty male blondes in ba sing se good omens)

He dresses in light, dainty clothing and talks with an accent only girls and women talk with, as well as getting his nails done and using make up for his magic act, and he says "please" and "thank you", which are things only women do (I'M BEING SARCASTIC. I'M BEING VERY SARCASTIC. god i hate gender rolesAAAA)

Now this is where the comparisons end cuz let's face it, Aziraphale is a lazy fuck.

You KNOW the bookshop smells like mold and he just miracles it clean every now and then.

He'd rather sit his plump (pretty) blond ass on the couch and read the day away than actually get to doing the baking and cooking or caring for the kids (plants) if it's not a hobby activity

Now let's do the opposite and try to affirm Crowley as the housewife.

He's clean (does the cleaning), he's of service when needed, he organizes when he's stressed (read the book), he- he drives a car...

OH SHIT. MAN ACTIVITY!!!!!🤯🤯🤯 (we're still being sarcastic here, it's not over EFJSJF)

In all seriousness though, trying to fit these two into gender roles, even as a joke is kinda difficult even in headcanon-land ajbfsnf

At least that's my opinion

For every traditionally "feminine" thing you have one of them do, the other outdoes that by a mile. And vice versa with the traditionally "masculine" things, like "being useless" and "car" /sarcasm is back.

So which one would be which? I think they're both dumbasses who fight over who gets to do what in the household (neither of them wants to do anything except for cuddling) and come up with an agreement to divide each chore :)

y'know, like normal people in a functional marriage (my parents lol)

[depressedbyseason2]

WHAT IF AZIRAPHALE IS SMILING BECAUSE HE'S JUST REALISED THAT CROWLEY KISSED HIM AND AFTER 6000 YEARS OF PINING HIS DUMBASS HAS REALISED THAT CROWLEY DOES ACTUALLY LOVE HIM BACK. WHAT IF HIS SMILE AND WEIRD LOOKS TO METATRON ARE ACTUALLY FOR THE DUMBEST AND SIMPLEST OF REASONS THAT HE'S FUCKING REALISED THAT HE'S IN LOVE???

[everythingsallticketyboo]

Aziraphale: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.  Crowley: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?  Aziraphale, already taking his clothes off: God, Crowley, you’re so fucking stupid.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

*wobbles into frame* Hi maggots it's me, it's Asmi, the Good Omens Mascot or something, wait you know that, I'm sorry I'm delirious.

I finished reading Friday from the Good Omens book. It was hilarious (Shadwell hating all Southerners and by inference living on the North Pole PLEASE) but what I mainly remember is Crowley being mentioned on the second=to-last page of the chapter and me instantly swooning.

Like. All it requires is a mention. Seven letters and I'm a goner. I'm such a fool for Crowley.

Who is also a fool, by the way, both him and Aziraphale are fucking dumbasses not them funding Shadwell and his Smith army through sheer incompetence.

Anyway. Where have I been, you ask?

I have been very ill, I answer.

Oh, Asmi, surely not! you say in dismay, or you would if you were stuck somewhere before 1970 the year of our Lord and Saviour Bildaddy, which is clearly where my internal monologue is.

Worry not, maggots, I'm usually ill. This time it's a cold. As for Tommy the haematoma, he's still there, but I'm rather more occupied with the cold.

I haven't eaten proper food in around 20 hours. I haven't eaten any food in around... 14 hours. 15? 16? Why, you ask? I was asleep. And my intestines feel bleh.

I decided to drink flavoured sparkling water for energy, before realising too late that it is sugar-free and calorie-free. No energy from that, I'm afraid. Do I blame Famine? Yes, Sable, I'm blaming you.

*slurps the soda anyway* Hnnngk. I love you all.

[zionworkzs]

Something about Crowley keeping plants...

Of course, there is THIS incredible post by @ineffable-suffering that goes into how Crowley takes care of his plants as a metaphor for self-worth, trauma, therapy, and his relationship to God. (Brilliant post, highly recommend reading this! Such an intelligent take from an intelligent person, as opposed to my dumbass that just likes to wax poetic).

I want to focus a bit more on the why behind plants specifically. I think it brings up the interesting idea of time and the passage of time for immortal beings. Plants take time to grow. They take time and effort and ample tending to for them to flourish.

It's interesting that such a fast-paced individual (changing his clothes, his hair, his style) would take up something like gardening, which is an inherently a painstakingly slow process.

I think this hits on Crowley's relationship with time and how he perceives the passage of time. Outwardly, he seems to change with the times easily. He adapts and moves through centuries like it's nothing. But the tending to plants doesn't fit in this understanding of his character. I do think this relates to how he feels inwardly. He feels some fulfillment, some comfort in taking time and care to dedicate to something that outwardly seems like a waste of time.

But Crowley doesn't see this as a waste.

Crowley could, presumably, miracle his plants to grow quickly and be in perfect health. Suspended them in perfect condition indefinitely, but he doesn't. He waters them. He takes time to care for them. What's more, he allows them, begrudgingly, to spot and wilt and make mistakes. (That he later punishes them for, but still... plants!) The key being he allows the plants to disappoint him.

Why? Does it feed into his world-view that nothing he cares for will last? Why take the time to tend to something with a limited lifespan? And such a short one in comparison to his own? No plant, even under perfect conditions can last forever. So why do it?

Because at least it's beautiful. And it gives him a sense of control over something.

I think what a lot of people get wrong about Crowley as a character is that he's fast. Aziraphale says this, and he's right in a way, and wrong in a way. Crowley isn't fast. Not really. He changes with the times because it helps him blend in, yes, but by that same token it camouflages him. It hides him.

It's can also be seen as a form of self-loathing. Because when he is fast, he can pretend he isn't a demon. He can pretend he is human. And what do humans do? They create beautiful things.

[theylikeholdinghands]

A ramble of major spoilery thoughts after the prime premiere screening (episodes 1+2)

Under the cut. Very big spoils, I’m warning you.

My head is jumbled after the masterpiece I witnessed and all I’ll summarise are reactions and some stuff y’all already know from other screenings

Episode 1:

CROWLEY AS AN ANGEL OH MY GOODNESS HE WAS SO HAPPY AND JOYFUL AND HIS HAIR WAS STUNNING. Aziraphale definitely had love heart eyes at him and the whole “oh look at you, gorgeous” thing was legit. Crowley said that and Aziraphale smiled thinking it was aimed at him and then turned as he realised what he meant, the whole cinema room went awwwwww.

No one told me Gabriel fucking rubs his naked self fully against Zira whilst hugging him, I actually died.

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY DOES PLAY WHEN CROWLEY IS RUSHING TO THE BOOKSHOP TO PROTECT AND APOLOGISE TO AZIRAPHALE. AAAAAAH

The whole cinema erupted in laughter when Crowley had to do an apology dance and I was screaming. He did end it with a ballerina pose I cannot. Aziraphale said he had to do that apology dance in 1650, 1793 and 1941 (so I hope we see that in the 40s minisode)

Aziraphale being all adorable listening to his records before he got interrupted by Gabriel aaaaaah

GABRIEL SAYS “I LOVE YOU” TO AZIRAPHALE AND ZIRA SAYS THANK YOU and then goes “I…hmm” SAVE IT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

Aziraphale is so sweet with Maggie but he has no fucking clue how to be a landlord i stg. Maggie also mentions the lockdowns, so the lockdown audio clip is canon.

Episode 2 Part 1 The Minisode:

The way Aziraphale enters this episode, dramatic ass bitch

I absolutely loved Azicrow’s initial argument about Crowley being evil and killing the goats and then the reveal he never killed them. ZIRA’S SMUG FACE BECAUSE HE KNEW CROWLEY WOULD NEVER HURT ANYTHING. Plus why do they look like they’re gonna kiss in that argument, I saw Zira looking at his lips… maybe his beard

Ty’s character is so camp when flirting with Zira oh my goodness

Gabriel’s long hair reveal got the crowd roaring

CROWLEY TEMPTED AZIRAPHALE INTO EATING AND HIS REACTIONS OH MY GOODNESS

The way they work together to trick the angels into thinking the kids are brand new is comedic gold

The very final scene of the episode is absolutely stunning. They’re both vulnerable and I love the line “I’m a demon, I was lying” comes back in so many ways this episode

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW EVERY REVIEWER SAID FRANCES MCDORMAND WASNT GOING TO BE BACK AND YET WE HEARD HER AND SAW HER NAME IN THE CREDITS

Episode 2 Part 2 Present Day:

CROWLEY SLEEPING IN HIS CAR, MOVE IN WITH YOUR HUSBAND DUMBASS

AZIRAPHALE CALLED THE BENTLEY “OUR CAR” and said he learned how to drive 90 years ago

Crowley’s romantic wooing involves a downpour of rain, sheltering under an awning and looking in to each others eyes to realise whats been there the entire time… ARE YOU OKAY CROWLEY

Crowley didn’t know Jane Austen wrote novels and knew her from a crime background. He picks up Pride and Prejudice in Aziraphale’s bookshop aaaaaaah

When Gabriel is alone alphabetising Zira’s books, he comes across P&P and reads the first sentence. THEN PICKS UP ANOTHER BOOK AND ITS THE FUCKING GOOD OMENS BOOK. NEIL I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS

Anyway these are my initial reactions so sorry for the ramble. I hope y’all who haven’t been to a screening get to indulge and look forward to whats coming in just over a day now!

[orcaofmyheart99]

I am not able to write any Valentine's Day fics. I have been very busy with work and prepping for the LSAT. I did really want to write these and I might someday eventually. I want to share what are in my WIPs.

Valentine's Day 2024

Misunderstandings, accidental kiss

Good Omens

Crowley tries his hand at Valentine's Day celebrations

Crowley tries to take Aziraphale on a romantic date. Doesn’t really go as planned and Crowley gets upset. Aziraphale kisses him and tells him how much he loves just the amount of effort Crowley put into the date.

Crowley buys everything

Newsies (Before I remembered that I wrote a V Day fic for Davey and Jack last year)

Sarah and Katherine help Jack plan Valentine's Day celebrations. Jack and Davey's first Valentine's day together. Jack wants to sweep Davey off his feet. Racetrack is just a dumbass.

[hauntedwizardtree]

Satan!Crowley’s (Mis)Adventures Raising the AntiChrist

I want to read a Good Omens fic where Crowley is Lucifer, and when he is “ordered” to take the baby AntiChrist (his son!) to the Satanic nuns to be switched with the Dowling baby…he. Doesn’t.

Lucifer rebelled against God so why would he do what She says he will? And furthermore why would he put his child. His creation. His heir into the hands of Humans? He knows what the humans are capable of. Besides, he started the whole rebelling thing. There would be no one better to teach his child how to be evil (he can also teach his boy how to see the beauty in the world—give him all the love Crowley thought had been burnt away in his fall. Show Her that throwing him away had been a mistake).

Crowley makes it appear that the switch went off without a hitch, but really all the new parents go off with their own babies. And then Crowley, Lucifer, Lord of Hell and all that. Has to figure out exactly how you raise a baby demon. Or Angel? Lucifer was an Angel but he fell. Demons are fallen angels. So is the baby an Angel? Because he hasn’t fallen? Unless Crowley’s evil was passed onto his child? That wouldn’t be fair though. The baby hasn’t done anything wrong and Crowley will go back to being Lucifer and he will tear Heaven and Hell apart before he lets them punish his son just for existing.

Hours later Crowley is raiding a bookstore trying to find a Manuel on how to raise a child without giving them massive amounts of trauma. He is also worrying himself sick because he doesn’t really remember his time in heaven and isn’t entirely sure if angels were ever babies or not.

Eventually he decides to drag Aziraphale into helping him without explaining a thing.

(God is just watching all of this and wondering if allowing Lucifer to spawn was really a good idea. It seems to be just making his issues worse. Maybe She should have done as the version of Her from a couple alternate timelines over did and gotten Lucifer into therapy.)

just. I want to read where a bumbling bibliophile Angel and the equally dumbass King-of-Hell-in-Hiding raise the AntiChrist. Complete with Crowley trying to not let Aziraphale know the truth because he’s certain the Angel will leave him. And Beelzebub who knows exactly where their idiot king is keeps dropping by and Crowley goes to increasingly extreme lengths to keep them from spilling the news to Aziraphale and Adam. also. Gabriel. Just, Gabriel.

And the Angel and Demon are having to deal with their two sides while also trying to keep the whole AntiChrist thing from Adam.

[chaoticallycaffeinated]

Okay I can’t take this I need to talk about it, heavy discussion of the Good Omens Leak below! Don’t click below if you don’t want the spoiler!! Warning you now!!

OH MY GOD OKAY

1) THE PASSION???? THE TENSION????? OH MY GODD. The way Crowley’s hands are FISTED in his jacket and are YANKING him into the kiss is actually killing me. Like I Cannot. I-

2) The parallel of this scene to the Wall Scene™ is literally killing me

3) I wonder if this is their first kiss because like,, I’ve seen people saying that they thought their first kiss would be tender and like... as someone who has PINED before (granted nowhere near their level) I disagree. Obviously these guys are sooo repressed and dumb (lovingly) and I think the way that it would happen would be in a moment of passion as this seems to be. They wouldn’t have the courage otherwise I don’t think. I NEED to know the context NOW though I cannot wait until July 28th. 

4) Also people keep hypothesizing about the possible context for this and saying it could be a dream or a body-swap thing or not actually real etc. and I simply,,, Refuse to believe that. Like. No <3. The only one I can kinda see is it being a “Aziraphale-being-dumb-and-self-sacrificing-so-Crowley’s-making-a-point” kiss,, because I love me some of that. But I cannot think about it not being “real” because my dumbass simply couldn’t handle that. So I’m just not thinking of it as a possibility because I’d die methinks.  

In summary I have so many thoughts and the release date cannot come soon enough. 

(also I am def sad about it being leaked,, especially for Neil,, but I simply don’t know how I would have handled seeing this for the first time w/o prior warning)