#BUT EVERY TIME I PASS OUT AT REMY'S FARM!!

[hakusins]

tw // injury, bruises, blood, degrading tattoos

276 days later - Eri the Orphan

[sumiresaitozakiloveher]

degree of lewdity x reader PC got turned into a cow Charters reaction

if you don't know, you can get kidnapped by Remy. You can get turned into a cow if you eat grass and get milked. PC mannges to escape the farm and return home.

Robbin: Robbin would be the first to notice you're missing due to you failing to walk to school and walk home with him. He inmiditly noticed Bailey lack of care and put two and together. Bailey sold you, but where? He knows what happens to those who fail to pay him, but he never expected you to be the next. For weeks, he put up missing posters around, hoping it would help. Two months passed. Robbin was about to give up, but then he saw you in the orphanage hallway. He rushes up to you to give you a big hug. Pulling away from the hug, he notices some big differences in your appearance. You have small horns, cow ears, and a tail. Embarrsed and feeling insecure, you begged him not to look at you. Robbin would comfort you, saying that you're not hideous instead your adorable. Your cute cow. Once you fully calm down, Robbin would politely question you about where you have been and how you became a cow. You'll tell Robbin about how Bailey sold you to a cruel man named Remy, who turns people into live stock. As you do, Robbin comforts you drying each tear that drips.

after math: things between you and Robbin wouldn't dramatically change because your part cow except Robbin is trying to fix your eating grass habit. Even though it's probably better than what you're fed at the orphanage. You two are still best friends, you'll still walk together and play video games together. You'll even use your sharpened horns to defend Robbin from bullies. One thing about being a cow is lactation. Your breast will become full of delicious breast milk. Robbin suggested donating your milk to the youth ward. One problem is that you're not allowed in there, so you'll have another orphan to help you with the donation process.

Whitney: It's gonna need a few days for him to notice his favorite slut was missing. Unless your dating, then hell, notice the very next day. Despite your enormous cow tits and perfect ass your very unpopular. More unpopular than Kylar. Because of the bullying you would take sick days every so often. After a month, he finally noticed you gone missing. He'll try his best to act like he doesn't care, but his dick says different. He'll first go to Robbin for questioning, trying to squeeze as much information as he can. Robbin quickly cracks, saying that the last time he saw you was when you and Robbin would usually walk home together. On the same morning, you said you were gonna take another break from school and head to work for some extra cash. Next month, you were finally back to school with a bit of cow horns and tail. Whitney wouldn't show how happy he is to have you back but rather insult you. After all, his favorite thing to pick on you about you was your huge cow tits.

After math: Sex. Lots of sex. He always said you must have escaped a cow farm to get those sizes of breast. Now he's finally right. Since you're his property in his eyes, all of your delicious milk belongs to him and only him. I can see him give you a breast pump to make sure he gets every since drop of milk. If your breast turns out to be a mini milk factory, he'll probably sell a few bottles for a good amount of cash. If he sees you acting like a cow like eating grass, he's gonna take pictures of it and post them to all of your friends to see. You have no saying in this. you're just his dumb cow. Whitney will keep feeding your insecurity about your cow parts, making you wear clothes to him them. Even if you're sweating bullets, you still refuse to refuse to take off the extra layers of clothes, not wanting it to be seen.

Kylar: Kylar often watches you from a distance because you're never in his life except when you save him from bullies. He is always forced to watch his future wife and mother of his twenty kids spend time with Robin. But recently you stopped. He can't find you no matter how hard he tries. Craving you Kylar pushes his hatred aside and asks him about your wearabouts. Kylar goes completely insane after weeks of you being missing. By the time you return from Remy farm He's completely insane. He'll be staring at your cute cow features as you try to hide yourself. Just staring at your huge breast makes him wanna breed you even more. You could feed all the babies in town with those breasts. Shortly after you return, he's gonna kidnap you any chance he can get. It's gonna be difficult since after being kidnapped, you're gonna be on high alert.

After math: Once you brought to your new home, he's gonna go to town knocking you up. Your breast gonna produce even more milk with you being pregnant. He'll get a breast pump and milk you every day and properly store them away so him and his soon to be child can have some. (Pregnancy in degree of lewdity can last for a few weeks, btw)

Alex: Remy would absolutely kidnap you since you're causing his farm to be so successful, plus you have huge breasts. Bigger than any of his cows. With your disipearnce, his first suspect would be that no good caretaker of yours. Bailey obviously knows, but he doesn't tell Alex anything. He won't give up so esay since he sees you more of a girlfriend than an employee. You wouldn't return until a couple of months later. You befriended Remy horse cery escape but it took you so long to escape because those guards were on constant look out for you. By that time, the farm went under. Your way with animals was keeping the farm from going under. Like any other farmer, he will emiditly notice you're a cow and not wearing a costume. He'll believe everything you say about how Remy men knocked you out and took you to Remy farm. As if Alex needed another reason to hate Remy. He'll call the police on Remy's farm, but the cops probably won't really do anything about it.

After math: From now, every time you milk the cow, you would spend five minutes trying to get the cows respect before milking each one. You'll never tuch the milking machine ever in your life. Alex would never milk you if you're uncomfortable about it. If you're kinky like that, which would be socking if you did because you're innocent and gentle, but if you're into that shit he wouldn't mind it.

Morgan: He emiditly knew you went missing because you escaped. He's heart broken, he lost his child twice. He searched for you everywhere in town but had no luck. A couple of months later, you manage to escape by befriending Remy horse. After everything that happened, you were traumatized and craved someone's love, care, and comfort. You couldn't go back to the orphanage because who knows what Bailey would do to you if he saw you. He sold you to Remy, after all. Using what little money you bought tea flavors, tea cups, new suit for a male, bunch of snacks, and a large basket. You're planning on going back to Morgan, and you hope the gift basket is enugh to fix escaping him. Morgan would be more than happy to see you came back after so long. He loves the gift basket, but you're still gonna be punished for leaving home.

after math: He's too insane to notice any of your cow body parts. He is gonna keep a close eye of you so you don't run away from home. For your breast milk, I can see you drinking it instead of what he calls tea. Seriously, it's not tea he's drinking. You'll have empathy and swap his tea with your milk. There's no grass in the sewer, so you'll have to eat whatever he fixes up.

Remy: Bitch allready knows he was the one who done this you.

after math: The after math depends on how you act and how much milk your breast can produce. If your breasts are huge and produce tons of milk, you're his prized cow.

[morgana-ren]

Hi i had an idea that popped into my head, because I (vaguley) remember that the game talks about a sacrifice in the forest lake someone did (me thinks its the church who sac'd someone) and they may have became the ivory wraith.

So you think the town is cursed, maybe something that amplifies lust or 'sins' because of it?

Oh, something is definitely wrong with the town. Something dastardly and dark happened and is currently happening, though I'm not sure of the extent that the lore goes into it.

The Ivory Wraith actually has a very interesting backstory, if you manage to get them to show you.

To make it quick, it seems like they were some kind of priest or priestess for an early facet of the Faith in ancient times, and they along with others of their ward were kidnapped by some dark, esoteric order and sacrificed in some blasphemous ritual involving monsters and tentacles and some heinous offences to God or whatever.

I don't know if their spirit was corrupted or perhaps consumed by some eldritch lord, but either way, the Ivory Wraith is trapped beneath the ruins of the lake, able to wander the town, seemingly only caring for two things: Its own rare offspring, which it can impregnate the player with, and the lovely ivory necklace that dangles gracefully from its pale neck.

Now lets take a look at the faith.

On the outside, it seems relatively benign, seemingly modeled after modern day Catholicism. Strict and unforgiving, to be sure, but basically just a mirrored image of what we know the more stern sects of Christianity to be.

But take a deeper look. The prayer room, where devout priests are known to go into fits of hysterics and speak in tongues, hallucinating for hours on end as the prayer becomes so intense and somehow, virginity stays intact even after the most defiling of carnal acts. The dark ritual that can take place to an unsuspecting and unconscious player should they pass out at the lake. The fact even the priests and nuns aren't immune to your charms, and will often try to have their way with you against your will and you are expected to be fine with it.

The fact that the church will whore you out against your will if your purity is weighed and found wanting during your chastity exam.

These are the good guys.

Now the town itself, something is very, very blatantly wrong.

On the outside, it's a seemingly normal little town. A little costal paradise that is surprisingly self-sufficient for a small-town community. A lovely little haven cut off from the rest of the world--

For a reason.

It's meta-implied that this town is wrong, and it knows that it's wrong. The people in charge make an active effort to keep their affairs secret from the outside world. There's this lovely facade of a normal society, but the rotting, seedy underbelly is the world's worst kept secret.

If you tell any outsiders what is happening, they don't believe you. It sounds so absurd and so outlandish that they just outright think you're a mentally unwell, attention seeking person. The 'innocence' and 'awareness' bar allude to the fact that people who don't indulge themselves in the darker parts of life in the town are purposefully kept in the dark, so much so that it just flies right over their heads, or they just accept what is happening as normal.

Sirris, for example. They very much love their child. Do you think they would ever raise their child here if they had any true idea of how bad things are here? Chances are that they think this is just life, or they're so kept in the dark about the truth of it that they don't understand what they're subjecting Syndey to.

The people who are unofficially in charge of the town, such as Remy, Quinn, Bailey, and to an extent, Leighton, all have a direct hand in the worst aspects of it. The underground brothel, the underground farm, the asylum, etc.

Every person that heads one of these awful facilities also just so happens to be the only person in charge of such affairs. Harper and the hospital, Remy and his farm, Leighton and his school, Bailey and his orphanage, and so on.

There's a titload of supernatural references here that certainly come into play. The moors, Blackwolf, all the hallucinogens that run rampant, the tentacles, the blood moon-- it all fits together somehow.

We don't have all the pieces quite yet, and your character is gaslit and made to feel crazy if they start to put them together.

Something very, very wrong is happening, and it all fits hand in hand somehow.

[inkyquince]

SHARED THREE WAYS

Remy x Wren x Male!PC x Niki

Your mother marries into a certain well-to-do family in the farmlands but it's hard to keep up with two stepbrothers and one rowdy employee. Especially since you're the one trapped in a den of hungry monsters.

content warning. Remy is a dick but what else is new. Niki being a creep, nonconsensual voyeurism, photography, Wren is a whore, one mention of Remy harming PC, bad mother, its previous generation so names shall be dropped, cock!whore Remy. This part is Wren-centric, part two is remy centric and part 3 is niki centric. 5.1K

(part 1/ part 2/ part 3)

You thought the upper crust of the town was bad. Danube street always felt lightyears away from Domus Street despite being right next to each other. It was an entirely different world, where all the lawns were trimmed to the exact centimetre, all houses stood tall and pristine, with polished school children trotting along, clothes perfectly ironed and shoes gleaming in the sun.

This was somehow worse.

Your mother tended to become wrapped up in every single boyfriend she'd get and made sure to align both of your lives with theirs in as many ways as she could, as if to prove to them she was the one they were missing all their lives. Her track record wasn't great with this. It always ended with her with tissues and ice cream in front of the TV as you tried to get things back to normal.

"You don't even know him." You muttered, watching the town you grew up in merge into the vacant fields just outside, the sea disappearing as you drove further inland.

"Yes, I do!" Your mom chirped, tapping her nails against the wheel. "We're engaged and it's time we finally got everyone together."

"It's stupid." You said flatly. "I haven't even met him."

"Because you were always such a grumpy little cow to all the others. I decided to change things up and hey presto, maybe it was your attitude that drove the others away."

You didn't bother to reply. This was the worst case of "boy fever" your mom has gone through in a long while. Telling you a few days ago to pack a suitcase and chuck everything else, selling the house to move in with some rich asshole out in the farmlands. You had fought to stay, bringing up reasons you should stay in town. That you had just a few months of your last year to finish, that she laughed at, and said you would be tutored along with her fiancé's "boys". You asked to stay in town, with a friend, and she was horrified at the thought. You said you didn't want to move out in the middle of nowhere and she tossed your empty suitcase onto your bed, refusing to continue the argument.

With every fading building, you quietly said goodbye to your friends in your head, knowing they will only know on Monday your mother had gone off the deep end again. Eden would have scoffed, calling you an idiot for not taking up his offer to come stay with him. You were going to miss sitting next to Sam as Mister Winter droned on, passing notes back and forth. Hell, even meeting up with Landry after class and wandering around town without money in your pockets and splitting a milkshake when things got bad at either of your homes. Hell, even rougher kids were okay to you, which was a blessing.

The drive dragged on, passing a cute little farm with a red headed woman chasing around a gaggle of similar haired kids, the moors which Morgan had dared you to stay overnight in before panicking and trying to get you back himself. You perked up passing a riding school you never noticed before as your mom pulled off the main highway onto a well kept gravel path.

It wasn't until a few moments away did the new place you were staying at come in view.

You thought the upper crust of the town was bad.

At least those guys had to follow building regulations and not have their houses three times the size of the orphanage you had lived most of your life next to. It was huge. There was a section connected behind the estate, with barns and fields just out of sight.

As your rickety car pulled up, three people emerged from the house, a tall man turning around briefly and pointing his finger at the second tallest, almost threatening. Your mom didn't notice as she hurriedly stepped out of the car and called his name with glee.

Her fiancé was a tall, broad man. Almost spitting image of those lean horse riders your mother would watch in riding competitions, mooning at the screen. Short, shaggy brown hair with stubble, with the meanest eyes you've ever seen. You knew mean kids, but there was a streak of maliciousness in him that never appeared in Briar or Bailey's snide glances.

You awkwardly stepped out as they embraced, and just leaned against the car, trying to look anywhere else than at the gross display of affection. Instead you focused on a small group of boys hanging out by one of the fences on the side of the estate, leaning over to get a closer look at the arrivals. You caught the eye of one, ruffled blond hair bright in the sun and he shot you a wink as the others guffawed.

"-And this must be him?" Pulled away from warm brown eyes and back into the situation, you blinked up at your... About-To-Be-Stepdad-Maybe. 

He stuck his hand out for you to shake, which you awkwardly did, his fingers squeezing yours too hard. 

“Nice to finally meet you.” You finally said and his lips twitched. 

“Remy, Niki, greet your brother properly.” 

The other two boys’ expressions matched yours as you were called brothers.. The older one, lean and tall finally walked down the remaining steps, only to continue to tower over you, his eyes matching the cruel glint his father had. 

“A pleasure.” Remy, you believed, finally said, taking your hand in his in a brief handshake. 

Your palm stung as he squeezed it, glancing down as he walked back to the smaller brother. A thorn pushed into the sensitive skin of your hand. Did he.. ? 

Not having a proper moment to think about it, Niki stepped up, his hair hanging into his eyes. He didn’t look a lot like his brother or father, with messily dyed blond hair, and black roots, rolling a lollipop against his teeth as he barely grasped your hand before dropping it. 

“It’s so nice we’re all together.” Your mother gushed, still hanging off new-darling-stepdaddy’s arm, oblivious to the sour mood stagnating between the four of you. 

He wasn’t even listening properly, looking over her shoulder at the gaggle of boys staring, a small frown on his face. The blond one seemed to meet his eye and ducked his head quickly. 

“Niki, show your brother to his new room. Remy, show your mother around the place.” He carelessly cut her off. 

“She already poked around before.” Remy muttered but cowed when his father shot a glare at him and went back up the stairs, your mom following closely behind, chatting away. 

His father gave you one last inscrutable glance, dragging over your lips and throat, flicking down to your hips before walking off, the boys scrambling away except for the brown haired one, waiting as if expected to be told off. Niki didn’t help you with your luggage. Stuck his hands in his pockets as you hauled your suitcase out of the trunk, lugging it as he made his way back into the estate. 

Your room was…Quite nice. Bigger than your entire kitchen on Danube street. 

“Is… Are you and your brother’s rooms like this too-” 

“Remy isn’t my brother.” Niki said flatly, popping the pink sweet out of his mouth. “Half brother. You’re not my brother either.” 

You felt yourself flush out of embarrassment. Don’t talk to Niki, got it… Maybe, given the thorn pushed into your hand, maybe don’t talk to Remy either. 

“Someone will come get you when we eat.” Niki stuck his lollypop back in between his teeth, shooting you a distasteful look before leaving the room. 

You sighed as soon as the door shut, unzipped your suitcase. This was already going to be hellish and awful and lonely and- 

Dropping your school supplies as you opened the bottom drawer of your bedside table, you stared at the “gifts” left for you. 

Someone had left, or purposely placed a dildo in the bottom drawer, right on top of a magazine of “Country Side Hunks” the front page already showing two cowboys mid fuck. You quickly kicked the drawer shut, hearing the hefty dildo roll around inside as you did. 

Fuck these people. 

Three virginities remaining. 

You quickly learned your place in the house. Keep quiet and out of the way. Remy had no time for you, barely glancing at you as he went about his day, spending most of it outside or studying. Niki was somehow more reclusive than you, popping into existence as if out of thin air sometimes. The only friendly face was- 

“Hey, pretty boy.” Wren grinned over at you, approaching on one of the mares he was supposed to be breaking in. 

“Hi.” You replied wearily, already having faced so much of his flirting at every turn. 

Wren was older than Remy, Niki, and you, but much younger than every other farmhand that ran around the estate. No one seemed to know why he was here, but he was useful so they assumed that was why he was kept around. 

“You looking even poutier today.” Wren tucked a cigarette between his fingers, patting his pockets for a lighter. “Which is cute, but usually means that you’re sad. Which you gotta knock off, I always get my hopes up and think it means you tryna signal me down to tease those pretty lips.” 

“I miss my friends, Wren.” You ignored his flirting and tugging out grass from where you sat. 

“They seemed like tits.” 

You blinked up at him, his lean chest leaning against the neck of his mare, his cheek squished against her head as she snorted in confusion. 

“I mean, y’know, the big boss ain’t gonna marry no one without looking into people, so, yeah, I got to play stalker with you a bit.” 

Fury mounted in you again, already sick and tired of this stupid posh family’s antics, pretending to be better than you and trying to fuck with your life like this. You scrambled to your feet and stomped off, planning on rounding around the manor to the highway and hiking your way back if needed be. 

“Hey, now, I can make it up to you! How about a drink, huh, baby boy?” 

“Fuck off!” You snapped as you rounded a corner and smacked into a solid chest. 

Remy blinked down at you, lips already curling. 

“Wren, don’t you have to be at the stables?” 

The boy in question grinned and turned his mare, clicking his tongue to speed her on. You tried to dart around Remy but he grabbed your elbow, dragging you close enough for his lips to press against your ear. 

“You aren’t special. Wren’s like that with everyone. Mind yourself.” He hissed before shoving you off, stomping off, the back of his neck flushed red. 

Sadly, you didn’t even make it off the property, your mother pulling into the driveway with her shiny new car, her and your stepfather climbing out. His eyes dragged over you, inscrutable as you awkwardly were pulled into a hug, your mother apparently overjoyed you were finally exploring your new home. 

Dinner was a frigid affair. Niki, as per, wasn’t there. Remy stabbed at his food, glaring at you across the table and your mother nattered on to the air as your stepfather sipped his drink. There was a foot pressed against your ankle and it was distracting you, slowly rubbing at the exposed skin. Worst of all, you didn’t know who it was. 

It was hard getting to sleep that night. It was hard most nights, too used to the noises of the town, cars passing by and people shouting back and forth, the hum of life. This was truly just… Where people spent a few weeks before returning to town. You can’t believe people willingly stayed out here. 

Your throat itched too. You couldn’t blame that on the countryside, but damn, you will find a way. Tossing your covers to the side, you slid out of bed. Using your phone as a light, you slowly made your way down the hall, too busy trying to not make a noise that you didn’t realise the sounds that already were drifting down the hall. 

Remy’s door was open enough for a slit of light to shine out into the hall, along with two sets of voices moaning and whispering to each other.  Stomach twisting, your feet carried you closer despite really not wishing to see what was happening at all. You glanced into his room, freezing at the sight inside. 

Rumpled covers barely hid the two bodies hungrily grinding against each other, sweating and naked. Wren above Remy, groaning into his neck as his cock rutted into him, gripping his hips so hard even you could see the bruises already forming. Remy, naked except his gloves and boots, gripped his lover’s hair tightly, panting as his own cock lay leaking on his stomach, drooling thickly. You watched for only a few seconds, stunned by what you were seeing, but Remy’s eyes opened as he lay his head back against the covers, spotting you. 

You expected to be yelled at, called a pervert, but he grinned widely, snide and smug as he urged Wren deeper inside of him. You backed up, forgetting about your thirst as you fled back to your room, ears burning. Ignoring your interested cock, you buried yourself under the covers, wanting nothing but to have the bed swallow you whole. 

Sadly, it didn’t. Ever sadder, Remy was the one to wake you up, grabbing your nose as you slept and smirking as you struggled to breath, bolting upright. 

“Hello, creeper.” He smirked. “Father needs you to stay clear of the house this morning. Can’t have his important meetings ruined with the little pervert he took in.” 

You couldn’t even respond. He smirked and got up from your bed, only looking back to shoot a nasty grin at you before shutting your door. You were so sick of this place already, from the first day hostilities, to the weird mind games, to the goddamn fact your clothes were disappearing. You had a feeling that Remy was feeding them to the cows or something, running low on everything, from underwear to jumpers. 

Spending the morning outside, you mainly sat against one of the trees on the edge of the property, watching the farmhands work, a few of them even waving at you. Even when your watch showed that it was lunch, even when it ticked into the early evening, twilight settling, you stayed outside. You just.. Didn’t want to look at anyone in that place anymore. You were sure you had grass stains on the ass of your jeans, bark clinking to your jumper, but it was so much nicer than being ignored by Niki and harassed by Remy. 

“Hey, pretty boy.” A familiar voice called out, Wren hurrying over with glee. “How long you been out here, I’d have ditched-” 

“Don’t call me that.” You said flatly. 

Wren paused and tilted his head, quizzical eyes fixed on you. He scuffed his shoe against some of the fallen leaves before stepping closer. 

“Why so bratty today, babe?” He tried to maintain his easygoing grin but it was already faltering. 

The longer you went without replying, quietly tearing up the yellowing leaves, the more Wren’s face fell before he quietly sat down next to you. 

“I, uh… Should have guessed something was up. Remy doesn’t like me coming into the house usually and last night he was really-” 

“Just shut up, Wren.” 

He did, to his merit. Though, by his own pout, you didn’t spare his feelings one bit. 

“Y’know, porn shows two cute step brothers fighting over a third in a more fun, sexy way. Last time I ever trust the hub.” 

You snorted softly and Wren took that as a positive, scooting closer to you. He watched you shred some leaves before picking up his own, twirling it between his lean fingers. 

“Look… How about a drink to make it up to you? ‘N no nicknames or flirting, I promise.” 

You glanced at the house, the rooms slowly lighting up as evening set in, dinner probably being prepared. Glancing at your room, the curtain twitched sharply and swung back into place, as if someone was holding it back to peer out. Your stomach flipped. Maybe it was okay if your plate was also left alone, just like Niki’s. 

“Okay.” You finally say and Wren grins, grabbing your forearm to haul you up. 

Wren lived just at the edge of the property, in a pretty cottage he shared with a few others. Luckily, he dodged their invites to a game, just grabbing two glasses and a bottle of questionable substance. His room wasn’t fully decorated, some cardboard boxes still holding some stuff, with one of the walls being the only one with any posters or pictures. 

“Charming.” You glanced around and Wren snickered, yanking a small round table out of the corner and pulling up to two chairs to it. 

“I always only half unpack my shit when I move.I’m more used to living out of a suitcase, y’know?” 

You could relate to a small degree and you sat down, gently knocking his knee with yours as you did. 

The mistakes started when the drinks started flowing. Wren refused to let there be a gap in conversation, making sure your glass was never empty and you didn’t stop laughing or chatting away. You two pressed closer, your head swimming slightly. Ignoring your phone buzzing in your pocket, against your thigh, you leaned against his shoulder, still unused to the alcohol making the world a bit more bearable at the moment. 

“You’re so cute.” Wren chuckled, pressing a kiss to your head. “Townies have no tolerance, I swear.” 

“Fuck off.” You hiccuped, smiling against his shirt. 

His fingers trailed over your back as he slowly breathed in the smell of your shampoo. 

“Not kidding.” His voice dropped to a murmur. “You’re so fucking cute. Make me act all stupid n’ shit.” 

“Wreeeen.” You complained, sitting up a bit. “No flirting, you promised.” 

“I ain’t flirting.” Wren pulled you closer again, nosing against your temple. “I’m stating a fact. Got me acting up over some townie. God, I’m so jealous your friends got a taste of you first.” 

“Huh?” You blinked at him turning your head so you two were practically nose to nose. 

He racked his eyes over your face greedily, his fingers finally getting to the curve of your back, slipping under to stroke the bare skin. 

“Your friends ain’t ever had you spread your legs for ‘em? Better friend than I would have been. I’d have fucked the shape of my cock into you so you wouldn’t want no one else.” 

His heated words made you dizzier, blood rushing from your already drunken brain to your cock, slowly hardening. 

“So, what have you done? Fucked? Been fucked? Sucked a few dicks?” Wren probed, leaning in so his lips barely brushed yours. 

You could only slowly shake your head, feeling flushed from the lack of blood in your brain, and all of it making your cock ache between your thighs. 

“Nothing?” 

“I’m… A virgin.” You mumbled, stuttering off into a whine as Wren groaned and pushed his lips against yours, yanking you into his lap. 

“Oh, you’re a fucking gift.” 

Wren’s intent was clear, hungrily licking into your mouth as he yanked your belt off, his other hand shoving down your trousers and underwear at once. He took your cock in hand immediately, running his thumb over the head as his breathing grew heavier. He broke the kiss, swearing softly under his breath as he made a loose fist around your erection, giving it only a few, light tugs.

“Fuck. Hung as hell, aren’t you?” 

You hadn’t even fucking thought of yourself like that, quickly hiding your face behind your hands in embarrassment. Wren snickered and tucked his knees in between yours, yanking your legs apart to properly display yourself. Your cock was already leaking, bobbing against your jumper, leaving dots of glinting precum on the fabric, glistening in the intimate lighting. 

“If you’re so embarrassed about your pretty cock, I’ll just distract you, doll.” Wren whispered, leaning back in his chair to dig into a drawer before leaning back, hand pressed protectively against your stomach. 

Tugging the cap off the lube with his teeth, he greedily poured it over his fingers before wrapping his arms back around you, oiled up fingers just stroking along your rim, not even nudging against it, just trailing his fingertips over you. 

“Have you at least played with yourself, with the dildo I left for you?” Wren whispered, enjoying how you twitched in his embrace, your eyes fixed on his fingers. 

“That… That was you?” 

“Yeah, baby. Knew I wanted a piece of that ass when I first checked you out. Thought it was best you got the idea what you were gonna be doing with most of your time here right off the bat.” 

You hiccuped as he applied a bit more pressure to your poor, teased hole. 

“W-... What am I going to be doing?” 

“Getting fucked, sweetheart.” Wren nipped your ear as he sunk a single finger into you, quietly delighted by the way you shook and bucked your hips. “Relax your body, don’t be so tense. I can’t get you addicted to cumming with just your ass if the rest of your body is as tight as your hole.” 

“Wren…” You whined out as his finger reached deeper inside of you, hungrily curling as you twitched. 

“Don’t.” He warned, teasing your earlobe between his teeth. “Don’t say my name like that, or I’ll just split you open on my cock right now. I ain’t the saint you’re looking for in this place.” 

“At least,” He murmurs, in an afterthought. “I’m the only one upfront about wanting to fuck you.” 

You didn’t catch his soft whispers as he finally added another finger, making you arch your back and moan even louder, legs shaking against his. He made another sharp hiss as you tried to take ahold of your leaking cock, needing some sort of gratification as he ruined your poor ass, stretching you out. 

“You’re going to cum with your ass, or not at all.” Wren tutted, adding yet another finger and curling them cruelly, brushing your prostate and making you whimper, cock throbbing. “I want to fucking ruin you. I want to be the one who makes your fat cock useless. It’s too big for girls, ain’t it? Hurt them when you try to put it in. I don’t want you thinking with it anymore. Cum from your ass being fucked only. No need to even think about this drooling monster, eh?” 

He lifted his hand off your stomach for a moment, just to squeeze your cockhead, greedily watching as precum dribbled out. 

“Fat, useless thing.” He wiped off the liquid from his fingers onto your stomach before resuming his firm press against it, dropping a kiss to your neck. “Hurts cute pussies, you wouldn’t wanna ruin ‘em, do ya?” 

“N-No.” You gasped, Wren finally fitting in the fourth finger, trying to push them all in to the knuckle inside of you. 

“Too small for you anyway. No, you’re only going to want your ass played with from now on, yeah?” You couldn’t notice Wren’s tone getting possessive, dark. For the first time since that evening began, his thoughts strayed to his frequent bed companion, and for the first time ever, did he feel a rush of annoyance at the brunette. “Use your cock, and I’ll fucking punish you. Lock it up, ruin your ass, make you cry. I don’t wanna do that, baby boy, so you fucking listen to me, yeah?” 

“Please, please, Wren.” You whimpered, spreading your legs further apart to let him curl his fingers deeper. 

“Not until you promise.” He hissed, good humour gone as Remy’s betrayal made him angrier and angrier. Wren prides himself on being easy going, but his baby boy spurning him and looking so angry at him earlier? Fuck that. “Any cockwhores drool over you, beg for you to fuck them, you tell them no. Tell them you were trained proper, with an ass that can cum from fat cocks ruining it. Got it?” 

“Yes! Yes, please, Wren, fuck me!” You finally burst out, mindless babbling getting louder, but you didn’t care. 

He sighed happily before gripping your neck and pressing a strangely gentle kiss to your lips, tongue slowly pressing against yours with reverence. Too soon, he was pulling away, making you lift your hips a bit so he could free his own leaking cock, springing free and papping wetly against your ass. 

Grabbing for the lube, he quickly squirted some into his palm, oiling up his cock thickly before tossing it to the side, gripping your hips firmly. 

“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby, just how you need it.” He promised, turning your head once more for one final kiss before pressing his cockhead against your swollen rim, puffy from all the teasing. 

“Please.” You could only plead, breathless and lust clouding your brain. “Please, Wren.” 

That’s all he ever needed from you. Gripping your hips tighter, already etching bruises into the skin with his strength, he slowly pushed them down, his cockhead snagging on your prepared hole before slowly slipping inside. 

“Oh god… Oh… Oh fuck…” You whispered, never feeling so full in your life before. 

“No god here, baby, use my name.” Wren shakily chuckled, never ceasing to push your hips down to take more of him. 

You both groaned as he finally bottomed out, swollen balls throbbing against your skin, his cock leaking precum inside you already. He was too impatient to let you adjust, immediately beginning to bounce you on his cock. You were helpless to his ministrations, only being able to hang onto his side as he ruined you. Your voice got louder and louder, moaning breathlessly, but Wren was no better, swearing as he practically moved your body for you, bouncing your ass against his cock but also gripping your hips to move you back down as well. 

“God, fucking… Dammit. How will I ever fucking get anything done ever again? I’m going to leash you to my boots, have you ready to take my cock whenever I need it.” 

You couldn’t even form sentences, tears beading your lashes as your virgin hole was ruined, stretched out. You could only babble helplessly, cock already spurting out precum with every brush of his cockhead against your prostate. Wren gave a breathless laugh when he noticed your cries of pleasure, pressing the flat of his tongue against your cheek to catch the salty liquid. 

“Fuck me, you’re tasty in every single way. Cum from only my cock and I’ll eat the cum out of your ass later, wouldn’t you like that, baby boy?” 

“Uh huh.” You weakly agreed, gripping his fingers as he used you for his own pleasure. 

It was embarrassing, but you could feel yourself beginning to cum. Your virgin hole had never been violated this way, your cock, your fat, useless cock, already reaching its end as Wren whispered profanities into your ear, about having you in his bed every night, telling your mom he’s your little boyfriend while cum drips down your thighs. Introducing him to your stupid friends, knowing he’s stolen what they wanted all along, maybe fucking you in front of them. 

He was mesmerised as you finally came all over your exposed stomach, jumper having been pushed up to your nipples from Wren’s pawing. The thick, white liquid dripped down your sides, spattering on his floor but he didn’t care, in fact, he felt his balls tighten all too soon. Nothing like a virgin having their first orgasm that makes a seasoned whore cum too quickly themselves. 

He slammed your hips down, making sure to cum inside you as deep as possible, his own chest exhaling shakily against your back. 

“What a good boy.” Wren murmured, drunk off your body, his orgasm blinding his own thoughts momentarily. “My good boy.” 

You weakly nodded, legs giving out and leaning all of your weight on him, safe in his muscular arms. 

“We’re not done yet, I gotta warn you.” 

You just chuckled weakly, lightly smacking him with your hand and Wren just kissed your neck, pulling you closer. 

Outside, Niki was sprinting for the house. 

His camera pressed to his chest protectively, struggling to run with his throbbing hard on but still managing to remain unnoticed by the farmhands clocking out. His cheeks were blushing, to such an extent he looked feverish. As he quickly climbed the steps to the main house, excitement built in his stomach, for when he returned to his red room, to develop his treasures. 

But sadly, Niki himself rounded a corner and smacked into a solid chest. He had less balance than you did and fell on his ass, his camera clattering next to him. 

“Fucking watch where you’re going, stalker.” Remy snapped at him, sneering down at his downed brother. 

“Sorry.” Niki said carelessly, lunging for his camera only to have a boot slam down on his hand. 

“What have you been doing now?” Remy smirked, leaning down to pick up the camera and turn it on. 

“Nothing! Don’t touch my stuff, or I’ll tell dad-” 

“Father would be more interested in your sick little red room, and your weird thing for his new whore’s brat.” Remy swung his leg and kicked his stomach, letting Niki splutter and curl in on himself. 

Remy smirked at his pathetic younger brother before letting his eyes flick to the small previews on the camera screen. As per, lots of simple shots of you sitting alone, or looking gloomy. He rolled his eyes, flicking through each one before reaching the videos, pressing play as he hoped to find something embarrassing. 

“Don’t-” Niki warned but it was too late. 

Filmed from Wren’s window, the same one the farm boy would lean out of and murmur for Remy to climb in just a few nights ago, showed him playing with your ass, kissing you. His hands shook as he turned up the volume, your whines and Wren’s filthy, disgusting, perverted, loving words filled the echoing hallway. 

His eyes drifted down, fixed on the way Wren handled your cock, struggling to close his entire fist around you. The precum dribbling. The way you thrust your hips uselessly. 

Remy dropped the camera to the floor and smashed his boot down on top of it, not caring how Niki protested, kicking at him to get his foot off of his prized possession. 

No, he didn’t care. He turned on his heel and walked off, gloved fingers curling tight enough for the leather to hurt, as Niki hopelessly sorted through the ruined remains of his camera, plucking the memory card up and holding it against his chest like a lifeline. 

Kofi

Masterlist

AO3

[lordjb567]

Big City Greens Headcanons

1. Cricket was briefly knocked unconscious when he and Tilly tip over the Christmas tree in Green Christmas which is why he didn't pop out until after Tilly was framed

2. Alice didn't make up meeting Santa but she did made up the idea of Cricket never getting coal for Christmas

3. The Green Siblings are homeschooled as Bill worries that they get influenced by bad kids at the school

4. Cricket making his family do work for him in Chipwrecked was because he had a bad work experience and wanted to take a vacation but his boss (I forgor her name) didn't allow him to

5. After the events of Parade Day Cricket passed out from sheer exhaustion of serving so many workers and Gloria had to pick him up from the floor and bring him to his house

6. Speaking of Parade Day Cricket and Gloria did eventually get to see the Parade in person that next year after Big Coffee closed down

(the next two hcs will be shipping based)

7. Tilly has a slight crush on Remy

8. Remy has a hopeless romantic crush on Cricket

9. Tilly has her own self insert oc she calls "Filly" that she inserts in her Kingdom of Lore fanfiction

10. Cricket got interested into Kingdom of Lore and has watched every season of it and helped Tilly with her fanfictions

(next couple will be sexuality and gender hcs)

11. Cricket is bisexual

12. Tilly is pansexual

13. Tilly is also non binary and goes by she/they pronouns

14. Cricket is transmasc going by he/they pronouns

15. Both Tilly and Cricket have autism and they were both diagnosed at the same time

(Last few will be based on the adults)

16. Bill lost his finger the same way he almost lost his finger at 10

17. Nancy was stuck in jail for nearly four years

18. When Ernest died Alice couldn't be bothered to do farm work for two days

19. Bill has OCD

20. Nancy and Bill's wedding was held at a trailer park where Nancy saw her Dad for the last time

that's it for now thanks for tuning in

I may have some coming soon

[ruby-serpentis]

a break

pairing: male! eden x gender neutral! reader

warning(s): kidnapping (past), implied sexual harassment, stockholm syndrome (i mean you literally get this trait with eden), soft eden (if you’re not into that)

summary: because sometimes, it gets too much. and you need a break. somewhere far from the town.

please note that i do not condone any of this behavior in real life. this is merely a work on fiction based on another work of fiction.

over and over and over and over again. life keeps going. it doesn’t stop for anyone. but it becomes mundane, overwhelming. as the days went on, you felt yourself slowly begin to decay.

go to school, exercise for an hour or so in the park. go to the multiple jobs you had. monday and tuesday was the spa. wednesday, model for niki. thursday, work at sirris’s shop with sydney then head to the brothel afterwards. friday, same deal except do a brothel show. saturday, work at the cafe or the dog pound, help out robin’s stand for a bit, go on a date with avery, work at darryl’s if you weren’t at the hotel. sunday, work on alex’s farm and hope to god that remy’s goons won’t attack you while you’re working.

your chastity exam is due? well you failed it. you’re used to being purified. you come out relatively unscathed. but that’s probably not a good thing.

every night, confronted by people. “show me a good time and i’ll make it worth your while.” “hey you’re that slut that likes showing off.” “you’re that model right? i’m a big fan of yours.”

others were less friendly. a lot less friendly. some nights you had the energy to outrun them, other nights you didn’t. the occasional beast popped up.

You are numb.

you’re tired providing for yourself. and you loved robin with all your heart. you really did but you were also tired of providing for them.

you needed a break and thankfully, there’s one person that can provide such a thing.

maybe you purposely go into the woods, wander in and search for things. you ignore the gun shots, the boot prints, the bullet casings. and you welcome the cold feeling of metal at your back. you don’t resist and you willingly go back.

or maybe you ignore that feeling while you’re walking around town.

Someone is hunting you.

he grabs onto your wrist, turning you around. he angrily tells you about how you worried him and how you’re in so much trouble because you made him come out to town. he hates the town.

do you fight? do you run? or do you submit?

briar can go suck it anyways.

you go back with him, see a cage in the cabin. you don’t resist, letting him tear your clothes apart. you are an obedient little pet, regaining his trust before he lets you out. as cramped as the cage is, it’s nice to just relax.

or if you convinced him to let you stay in town for a limited amount of time, you decide to go back early, venturing into the forest. fuck going on another date with avery. you’ll deal with it later. + Rage

you get there just as he’s finishing up. “come on. let’s go inside.” he gestures you to follow him.

sure, you have to do things while you’re with eden. make him breakfast, bathe with him, among the many chores and household duties you do to pass the day. you spend a lot of time with his garden though because it’s all tangled up.

you like to relax in the spring, sit and do nothing after a day’s worth of hard work. eden would join you sometimes. mostly when you tried to masturbate. but you weren’t afraid to admit that eden making you cum was a lot better.

you were allowed to relax, allowed to do nothing. just sit and admire the scenery. and at the end of the time, you could cuddle up with him, practice some shots, and then eventually go to bed.

you were safe in the cabin, safe with eden.

and as you curled up to him near the fire, you talked about some of the stuff you had gone through. sometimes, you could feel his grip tighten around your body or hear him mumble something about how terrible the townspeople are.

the hermit life in the forest wasn’t so bad. maybe he had the right idea after all.

on top of everything else, he’d also do things for you. wash you, read to you. you loved teasing him, watching the bashfulness appear on his face. “i didn’t know the books were so dirty, okay!”

at some point, you’d need to return to town. whether it was to get supplies for eden, new decorations, or even a gift for him.

bailey would be looking for you. briar would be looking for you. and you did not want to deal with the consequences of your actions.

you had more than enough money anyways so you were free to buy eden’s supplies and decorations.

but that wasn’t your concern right now. you buried your face into his chest, breathing in the herby scent of the salve you had just used while giving him a massage.

he chuckles as he pulls you closer.

“this is nice.” you mutter.

a well deserved break from your brutal reality.

or maybe you could stay here permanently. that works too.

[angrelysimpping]

Y'all got me thinking about my ocs in dol so....here's Jasper as an LI

(Im maybe doing Melody as well but she'd have two paths, Melody the Vigilantly and Melody the Muse)

Jasper the Artist

Low Love: Jasper wants to keep you, forever.

Neutral: Jasper thinks of you as his muse.

High Love: You're Jasper's masterpiece.

Special stat: Energy

Fighting Jasper off costs him energy. Get his energy low and he'll avoid you for a few days to recuperate. This gives you a chance to break out of the resort. Submitting to Jasper fuels him, makes him feel energized around you. He'll want to keep you with him at all times.

Stockholm Syndrome Jasper: he just wants to make you beautiful, is that so bad?

Few ways to meet him:

1) Fuck around with Bailey too much. Refuse to pay them, fight them off instead of going to a buyer, annoy them. Make Bailey hate you. If Bailey beats you in a fight or finds you passed out in the orphanage, they'll sell you to Jasper.

2) Enrage Remy. Jasper is on friendly terms with Remy, he sometimes visits the farm. If you're disobedient and resisting the milking machines, Remy offers to sell you off to Jasper to cut their loses. If you're obedient or have given into the milking machines in the past five days, Jasper might make a comment about wanting to buy you, but Remy turns them down.

Meetings 1 and 2 has Jasper starting at low energy. You'll be taken to his resort but he won't visit you as the first few days, giving you a chance to escape

3) Anywhere between 5pm and 5am in an alleyway around town. He'll be a random encounter that you can run and hide from, but he's more difficult to evade than normal alleyway encounters.

4) other, less common ways:

Screaming for help anywhere between 5pm and 5am

Night jogging

First meeting 3 and 4 have Jasper at high energy, but you can fight him off.

Escaping early on or fighting off Jasper has him showing up in the world more, stalking you. He hates when they get away. More active at night and in the industrial district.

Rare occurrence for if you've met Melody first: seeing a man and woman fighting in an alley. You recognize the woman as Melody and can intervene. Jasper will remember you and start to stalk both you and Melody.

Misc

His resort is deep in the woods. It's no longer a resort, really. Most people think the place is abandoned. He's renovated it on the inside, the walls between guest rooms and the hall way have been replaced with one way mirrors. You nerve know if you're being watched.

All encounters before developing Stockholm Syndrome are noncon. Jasper will end an encounter early if he finds you have a parasite on you. (There's a slime infestation in the bathroom he is unaware of.) He has a phobia of parasites and will drug you at the soonest opportunity to take you to get it removed (high willpower = chance to wake up in the hospital unattended and escape)

Has a hair fetish. Will style your hair how they want it. -Energy -Love if you change your hair.

At high love, he talks about getting you a play mate (Melody), saying he feels bad leaving you alone so often. You can encourage him for +Energy +Love (starts Melody the Muse story line) or say he is enough for you (Defiant: "No way! I'm not sharing.") +Energy ++ Love (locks out Melody from 'joining' the relationship)

Not sure how a Dismissal would work, but I like the idea of Jasper getting sent to the asylum. You'd have to visit the hospital/ asylum every (month? Few months?) to sat you don't feel comfortable with Jasper getting released, otherwise his family will pull some strings and he'll get let out.

Mock option is looks.

If you ever get the option to straight up punch Jasper, it's -Energy -Love ++Lust

Thoughts on other LIs

Alex: the farmhand is cute! Such pretty hair! Jasper might like to get to know them better...

Avery: Jasper has met Avery at a few of the parties he's been forced to attend when his family is in town. He doesn't particularly like the businessperson.

Rare Event: you've met Jasper, go with Avery to a party, and bump into Jasper. Jasper stares at you.

1) Leave Avery for Jasper (+Rage -Love | +Energy ++Love)

2) Stay with Avery (+Love +Endearment | -Energy -Love)

2

Jasper approaches you and Avery. He talks to Avery, but keeps glancing at you. It makes you uncomfortable. Avery notices.

1) Grin and bear it (+Love +Endearment | +Energy +Lust)

2) Politely excuse yourself to the bathroom. (-Endearment | -Energy +Lust)

Regardless, Jasper leaves after a short, yet pleasant, conversation with Avery. You feel his eyes on you for the rest of the night.

Eden: Jasper has bumped into the hunter a few times. They intimidate him.

Kylar: Reminds Jasper too much of himself, and he kinda hates himself, so...

Robin: Doesn't particularly catch Jasper's eye.

Sydney: Oh! They have such pretty hair! Jasper wants to pull on it.

Whitney: Jasper likes Whitney. Straight up. Wants to break the bully a little.

[magpiemorality]

Fluffy Dee and Virgil interactions

I set this for whatever reason in WWII England. Dante and Virgil are evacuated from their London townhouse to the countryside for safety. This is fairly wordy because… 20th Century English war story I guess woops! 

Warnings: WWII setting, evacuation away from family

AO3

***

“Go, hurry!” Dante called, dragging his little brother along with him as they raced to get the train. Well, not raced per se; Dante strode with his gangly thirteen-year-old legs and Virgil stumbled seriously along after him on his much shorter seven-year-old ones, bouncing up and down in his haste. It made for a sweet sight, the little figure so laden with layers and provisions that, with the slightly too large helmet on his head he was mostly just a penguin of a boy, jingling as he went. 

At one point he lost his grip on Teddy, yanking against both Dante’s grip and the momentum of the crowd to grab it, but before his brother could stop a bigger boy behind them had scooped Teddy up and placed it firmly in his hand with a big, bright smile that made Virgil smile back. He said something to Dante when Dante turned to tell him off for dawdling, while Virgil was busy hugging Teddy and carefully kissing the top of his no longer fluffy head to reassure the bear it was safe, and then crouched down to pick Virgil up. Dante nodded when Virgil sent him a panicked, confused look, and the other boy helped them get the rest of the way safely onto the train before the whistle blew, elbowing other children and more than a few grown ups out of the way so they could find a seat. 

His name, though he went exclusively by Remy, was Thomas Remington, which was a very fancy name Dante said, although Remy pointed out that Dante and Virgil were not much better. He was going to his cousin’s farm in Taunton, he said, until the war was over and he could go back home, or until he was eighteen and able to join his father in France. And then he got off to switch trains, waving them goodbye from the platform, and they settled in for a significantly quieter journey. 

Their nanny had packed sandwiches into Virgil’s tuck box, giving them something to snack on while they travelled out of the grey and smog of London into the great green beyond. Virgil napped for some of it, sitting sideways in Dante’s lap, leaning back against the window. For the rest he quietly played with Teddy, and Dante read his favourite book, sometimes aloud when Virgil asked what was going on, or if there was a particularly good bit to share. It was about a boy, called Huckleberry Finn, and Virgil didn’t understand most of the words but Dante said it was about America, where mama and papa were from, so he tried to listen carefully as best he could. 

Passengers filtered steadily off the train stop by stop as the time ticked by, until they were near the end and the stragglers, the two brothers included, were looking tired and irritable and starting to wonder if the journey would ever end. 

The sun was getting low in the sky when the conductor passed through, announcing the station that finally, blessedly matched their tickets. They weren’t the only children disembarking it seemed, and a portly gentleman with a very unkempt grey beard collected them all together and walked them along the road to the town hall to be sent off to their families. 

Virgil held Dante’s hand very tightly. 

“We’re going to Mr Thomas Sanders’ home, remember Virgil. We’re to be very polite and helpful, even if he doesn’t do things the way we do. I am not to argue pedantics and you are not to throw tantrums, isn’t that right?” Dante just about managed to pick the flagging and overburdened seven year old up and booped his nose to make him laugh sleepily. Virgil hoped Mr Thomas was nice. He sounded nice, but you sometimes couldn’t tell, Dante had taught him that. 

He fell asleep before they got to the hall, so he missed the arrival of Mr Thomas, and the brief kerfuffle over the fact that he was apparently determined to take as many strays as possible to the point of arguing with the clerk sorting the allocation out- loudly claiming on several occasions that the houses they were assigned to were far too small by half to take extra children. This summarily resulted in no less than four other children all with equally stunned and wary expressions being piled into the cart with them, while Virgil slept on in Dante’s arms. 

It was the start of an utterly undefinable period in their young lives, for reasons both great and small. But rest assured that through every bit of it the brothers stayed by each other’s side, right where they were meant to. 

[alienduckpond]

Getting Home - pt 5 - Remington

Part 1 - Arlo / Part 4 - Ginger

-~-

Remington turned in his saddle to look back down the road towards the sea through the drizzle when thunder rumbled long and loud around them again. Branches of lightning lit up the black clouds that stretched as far as he could see in every direction, and even as he watched more strikes hit the peaks of the towering waves, highlighting the solid walls of heavy rain that were creeping steadily closer to land. He shivered, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the cold breeze blowing through his damp clothes, or from the reminder of how violent nature could be.

“Looks like you found me at the right time, huh,” Mint muttered sleepily, and Remy felt the younger man lean heavily against his back. “I might have ended up washed away with the deck chairs if you hadn’t.”

“I don’t think you would have slept through the water coming up through the decking much longer,” Remy said with a chuckle, though he wasn’t entirely sure of that. He nudged Arrow back into motion to continue up the road besides Sophie’s farm. “Did you go to the fireside the other night? Gale had a report through from Vega five. This is looking to be the worst Winter storm we’ve had in a while. Maybe the biggest this decade. It’s going to take at least three days to fully blow over.”

“I must have missed that. I guess it’s a good thing I’ve got no projects going on right now. I can start drawing up plans for things that’ll need rebuilding tomorrow.”

Remy chuckled again when Mint trailed off with a yawn, holding Mint’s wrist when he felt the other man’s grip on his jacket slacken for a moment, before arms wrapped around his waist again.

“I don’t think you’ll have much to draw. The builders have all done an amazing job of fixing up everything in the last year. After the Amber Island bridge washed away, people have kept on top of repairs so everything’s looking real sturdy right now.”

“Hmm, I suppose you’re right. Guess I’ll have some free time then. I wonder if Sarah will still be free,” Mint murmured, sounding sleepy and happy, and Remy hummed thoughtfully.

“Well. Gale was talking about closing down everything but the Round Table until the storm’s passed for everyone’s safety.” 

He hesitated, trying to decide if he should say anything else. While he didn’t really want to get involved with whatever was going on in town surrounding Sarah, he knew he already was thanks to Sam being invested and giving a running commentary, and Arlo’s yo-yoing mood. So maybe if he asked a few careful questions now, he might be able to report back to his Captain and ease his mind a little. At least with regards to Mint. He already knew Gust wasn’t a threat to Arlo’s chances with Sarah, and was simply needling Arlo just because he could.

“Did you have plans with her then?”

“Hmm? Kind of. I’ve been talking to her a lot lately since we’ve both been going to Mr Gale’s house for dinner, and we’ve been staying afterwards because it’s nice to be around people, and their house is really warm. She keeps dozing off on the sofa next to me while making things with Ginger. But she said she found some things in the ruins Gust and I might like, and was going to bring them along for us to look at.”

“I see,” he murmured, mulling that over. It didn’t sound like there was anything too deep there, but it was difficult to say. He was trying to think of how to pry further, when Mint shifted behind him, and pulled his arm free.

“Hey, who’s that?”

Remy glanced to the side, following where Mint was pointing at something in the gloom of Sarah’s yard. He squinted, trying to see what Mint had, and was about to ask if he was sure there was someone there when another bolt of lightning threw everything into stark relief, and the shape of something large moving in the middle of the open space became apparent.

“What the?” he muttered, pulling Arrow to a stop and trying to make out who it was. It hadn’t looked human, and none of Sarah’s llamas should be out right now. Sarah had been on her way to settle them for the night when he’d passed by on his way to find Mint over an hour ago, and she’d promised him she’d go straight back inside when she was done. So if one of them was out now... that was rather worrying. 

“Oh, it’s just Doofus. I wonder why she’s out so late.”

“Doofus?” Remy said as Mint let go and slid off Arrow’s back, trying to see what Mint had. While he could now see the llama bouncing closer to the fence was too small to be Mr Fuzzybutt, both Doofus and Sherbet looked the exact same to him even in daylight.

“Yes. She doesn’t bounce as high as Sherbet when she walks, and there’s no bell. Sarah’s given up trying to put it back on because Doofus always finds a way to lose it within a day.”

“You sure know a lot about her llamas, huh,” Remy muttered, watching Mint pet the llama over the fence as she tried to snuggle up to him, and wondering if maybe Arlo actually was right to worry about Mint after all, but the engineer laughed.

“No, not really. Only Doofus. Sarah started teaching me how to ride before Winter, and Doofus is her calmest llama. And the smartest and sweetest, aren’t you girl?”

Remy let himself smile as Doofus started to melt under Mint’s hands, until another bolt of lightning flashed almost directly overhead, accompanied by an immediate deafening peal of thunder and the sound of rapidly approaching rain.

“Uh oh. I’ll just go let her back into the stable. If she’s out here then the door must be stuck or something.”

“Wait, Mint,” Remy tried to call, but Mint had already hopped over the fence and headed into the yard. Remy sighed heavily, and guided Arrow to the gate where he jumped down to let his horse in the yard. Doofus hadn’t looked particularly wet, like she would have if she’d been outside since Sarah had closed the stable earlier, so he suspected there was something else going on here. He followed Mint’s path, leading Arrow around the various machines and piles of materials dotted around, and got under the awning at the same time as the rain reached the roof. He stepped to the side, allowing Arrow to shift under the cover more fully, then looked around the dimly lit space.

The lantern Sarah had been carrying earlier was in the middle of the walkway, and from the small circle of light it cast he could see Mint standing by the end stall. Doofus was doing something near the open barn style door beyond the stall, staying far enough back so she wasn’t getting wet even though rain was bouncing inside the stable, and Remy frowned. There was a knotted rope hanging off the handle and trailing inside, long enough that Doofus should have been able to reach it without getting wet and pull the door closed. So why hadn’t she?

“Remington? Over here,” Mint whispered loudly, leaning over the small divide with a soft smile on his face. Putting aside Doofus’ strange behaviour for the moment, Remy joined Mint, and bit his lip to stop himself chuckling.

Sarah was asleep in the middle of the stall, surrounded by her animals. She was curled up on Mr Fuzzybutt, draped over his back with her fingers buried in the soft wool of his neck. Sherbet was stretched out along her back, his own head on Mr Fuzzybutt’s rear, and his legs stuck out at strange angles into the piled up hay. And the two newest additions to her yard, Miss Cluckles the chicken and Peckarina the duck, were also sleeping peacefully on Sherbet’s head.

Mr Fuzzybutt lifted his head when Remy tried to approach, watching intently over the top of his sunglasses. Remy simply looked back, keeping eye contact as he waited for the llama’s assessment. He’d had no problems with the Cotton Llama before, unlike Arlo, and he hoped the Fuzzmeister would remember that.

He apparently did, stretching his neck out to sniff loudly at his pockets, and he chuckled quietly before pulling out some of the apple slices he kept for Arrow and offering them. He crouched next to Sarah and pulled the blanket draped over her lap up to her shoulders, tucking it around her while looking towards the open door. She must have decided to wait for the rain to let up a little, and drifted off watching the approaching storm he decided, admiring the perfectly framed view of the open sky from where she was sitting.

“Excuse me sir, but as soft as I’m sure you are, I think she’d feel better in the morning having slept in a proper bed.”

He carefully slipped his arms underneath her and shifted until he could pick her up, holding her tight against his chest. She grumbled a little, rolling her head to rub against his shoulder, but didn’t wake. He hadn’t thought she would. He’d brought her home enough times now to know she’d sleep through practically anything once she was fully gone.

“Let’s go. The storm won’t be letting up anytime soon now it’s reached us, so we’ll be soaked no matter how long we wait. If you could--”

Mr Fuzzybutt huffed loudly, and Remy stepped back to make room when he climbed to his feet, apparently not caring that Sherbet’s head, which had been resting against him, fell to the floor with a thunk, jostling the two birds and waking them with loud squarks. He always forgot just how big the cotton llamas were compared to the colourful ones, he mused as Mr Fuzzybut stretched himself, towering over him. With a final shake, the llama walked to the door, his ears laying flat against his head as he glared then bleated angrily at the rain, before turning around as if to look for something. Remy watched, amused, as Doofus seemed to roll her eyes, and picked up the end of one of the banquet table umbrellas to bring over to Mint.

“Thank you Doofus,” Mint said quietly, quickly taking the umbrella and getting it to the door. Remy knew how heavy it was, and he felt for Mint when he looked to be struggling with getting it open, until Mr Fuzzybutt ducked under one of the folds of thick fabric and did something he couldn’t see. But then the panels stretched out smoothly, the large spokes resting on Mr Fuzzybutt’s head, and all Mint had to do was hold the pole straight.

Remy murmured his thanks as he moved under it as well, clicking his tongue to Arrow so he’d follow, and they started the slow walk across the yard. This was probably going to be the shortest distance any of them had had to take Sarah home up till now, and he was sure Sam would be teasing her about it for weeks. 

[royalprinceroman]

Forgotten

A/N: Hey there everyone! Look! I wrote something! IN ONE DAY! I was hella inspired by @sidespart‘s art here of amnesiac Roman and uhhhhhhh take this for it! LOL

People who wanted to be tagged: @a-not-okay, @imtoobiforyou, @apologieslogan, @cloverlyanxious, @icecoldparadise, @backatthebein

People I always tag: @artistictaurean, @availe, @anxious-patton, @mandeebobandee (plz message me if you want to be permanently added to my taglist)

TW: blood mention, injury/memory loss, food mention, yelling, crying, cursing

((Romantic Moxiety with pining Logince))

((Like what I do? Support me on Ko-Fi!))

---

The four of them were inseparable.

Everyone in their high school knew they were basically family.

Roman was the theater kid. Popular wasn't even the best way to describe him. Infamous was probably better. Roman was always the lead in every play. His vibrant personality and kind heart attracted everyone around him and Roman did his best to always be happy for them.

His brother, Virgil, was the well known artist of the school. He had been commissioned by their town to do art for restaurants and local businesses as well as the school itself. Being a bit of a quiet kid, Virgil depended on Roman to get him out of his shell a bit, which Roman did quite happily.

Virgil's boyfriend, Patton, was the farm boy. Raised outside of the bustling city, Patton grew up with chickens and cows as his best friends. There wasn't a farm animal alive on his grandparent's farm that Patton hadn't helped raise from birth. Patton loved all animals and shared his adoration of cats with Virgil quite closely as Patton's grandparents had commissioned Virgil to draw a portrait of Patton's barn cat, Isabella, who had recently passed away at the old age of 17. They realized they both attended Cravens Academy and now it's history.

Patton's cousin, Logan, also attends the school but he's far from the farm as that side the family runs the business aspect of the farm. Crunching the numbers and making sure the animals are provided for by scheduling food deliveries and produce sales. Logan is also the star of the debate team and is currently vice president of the student council, but everyone knows he runs the board and will eventually have the president title within the school year.

Logan has a secret the other three do not know, however. He's been pining for Roman since he met him.

In 7th grade, Patton introduced Logan to Virgil who in turn introduced Roman. Logan had been taken back by Roman's poise and elegance, and yet also frustrated by his spontaneity and unrelenting inability to say no to anyone. Logan watched as person after person abused Roman's kindness. As an upperclassman, Roman always offered to take on the bulk of the work in the theater class, but then suffer in his own schoolwork.

As the four of them sat around their shared lunch room table, Logan decided today would be the day he would put his foot down. Roman's classes were ending earlier today and he always spent every early ending day in the theater: cleaning, building sets, making outfits. Then he would suffer at home with his homework, being up until 2 or 3 in the morning to get it done. He knew this because Roman always complained about being tired the next day.

"Roman?" Logan said, interjecting his voice into Roman and Patton's conversation.

Virgil turned to give Logan an odd stare. Logan figured Virgil could read the atmosphere just from the way Logan said the theater boy's name.

"Yeah what's up Specs?" Roman questioned, taking a bite of his lunch sandwich. Even his response seemed a bit on edge at what Logan had to say.

"I think... I think you should go to study hall today instead of the theater. After lunch, I mean." Logan said carefully. As the words fell out of his mouth, Roman's eyebrows narrowed. "I just think it's high time you take care of yourself for once-”

"And just ignore all the work that needs to be done for our performance coming up?" Roman retorted. "Our showing of Into The Woods is in two weeks and we have no costumes at all. I'm the president of the club and I'm also playing the Prince. It's my responsibility to get this stuff done, Logan. We've talked about this."

Logan sighed. "I know, but--"

"No buts Logan! God, I'm so tired of you constantly pushing yourself into my life like this. Why can't I do what I want to do?!" Roman said standing up, basically shouting.

The cafeteria around them fell silent. All eyes on Roman.

"You're always mothering me! Telling me "be sure to do your school work" and "you can't always focus on theater stuff". I can do whatever I want, Logan! Just... please leave me alone." Roman said, exasperatedly, breathing heavily. "Theater is my life. The reason I work so hard is because it is my dream to perform on Broadway someday. I've told you this. Why do you insist on getting in my way?!"

Logan stood up, pressing his eyes closed to prevent tears from falling. He didn't want to see Roman's red cheeks from anger or Patton's tears or Virgil's annoyance at both of them for causing a scene and making Patton upset.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Logan murmured before immediately picking up his lunch tray and leaving the table.

The lunch bell rang out and all the students began talking again all around Logan as he turned in his tray.

The Core Four are arguing??

Since when do they argue? I've never seen Roman so mad before.

Yeah that's what Logan gets for trying to baby his friends. He has no idea what Roman tries so hard to do.

Nuh uh, Roman has no idea how hard being on the Student Council! Roman needs to listen to Logan for once!

The voices kept filtering in but it didn't matter. Logan arrived at the student council room and locked himself inside. He didn't have any classes for the rest of the day either so he figured he could get some work done as well as his homework before heading straight home.

Logan threw his bag on the nearby solo chair and collapsed onto the couch. He was joking himself if he thought he was going to get any work done now. All he wanted to do was show Roman how much he cared. But of course, Mr. Robot couldn't show feelings for another person. He has no idea how they work... right?

A knock at the door jolted him up; Logan realized he had dozed off on the couch. He glanced up at the wall to see about an hour had passed. Classes were almost over. The person knocked at the door again. Logan rushed over and looked into the peephole to see Patton standing there. He had his hoodie pulled over his head and head down facing forward. Logan sighed as he opened the door.

"Patton, I-" Logan started to say before Patton threw himself into Logan's chest, hugging him tightly. "H-hey, what-" Logan staggered to hold himself up as Patton was nearly a foot taller than him.

"It's okay, Logan. It really is. Roman just doesn't understand how much you care about him. He also doesn't realize how much he's pushing himself..." Patton said through gasping tears. "But I know how much you care for him. Try again and say it from your heart. I know he will understand." He hugged Logan tighter. "I know you love him." Patton admitted before finally taking a step back.

"I see. I'm that obvious about it." Logan responded, walking back to the couch. He put his face in his hands. "Absolutely fantastic."

Patton came over and sat down next to Logan, rubbing his back. "It's okay. It's okay." Patton whispered under his breath. Logan wasn't sure if Patton was saying it for him or just about the situation in general.

Both of them were jolted again by loud banging at the door, followed by someone trying to open the door.

"Logan!! Logan, come on you idiot, open the fucking door!!"

"Remy? What?" Logan ran up to the door, throwing it open to see Roman's theater sidekick standing there, exasperated and his eyes wide. "Remy what's wrong?" Logan asked firmly.

Remy was missing his trademark sunglasses and was in half of a costume. He was breathing incredibly hard.

"You need to come to the theater room immediately. Where's Patton? Oh okay you're here too, god just come to the theater room please god let's just go." Remy said, grabbing Logan's arm and pulling him quickly as he spoke.

The three of them ran across the school only to see a crowd of people around the entrance to the auditorium as well as ambulance lights flashing through an exterior door nearby.

"Get out of the fucking way!" Remy shouted and as if controlled, all of the students moved, allowing Remy to pull Logan and Patton through the crowd.

Logan made his way through only to see Roman laying flat on the stage of the auditorium. Virgil was at his side, running his hands through Roman's hair. The boy wasn't moving. On the other side of Roman was a paramedic who seemed to be tending to Roman.

Patton made a mad dash to the stage, leaving Logan standing in the central aisle way leading to the stage.

Remy walked up behind Logan, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"A light went out as we were rehearsing. He said he could take care of it himself and refused when we all said no. And then... he fell. He landed on his neck and head and didn't move. One of the freshman called 911 and the teachers came flooding in. Virgil happened to be nearby when everything went down. He's pretty calm despite it all." Remy explained.

Logan's eyes canvassed the area. The small group of theater students sat to the right of the stage. Some were crying; some looked very angry. Logan watched Remy rejoin his theater group.

Part of Logan wanted to move. He could see Roman laying limply in Virgil's arms. The paramedic was still talking to Virgil. Patton was now at Virgil's side. He wanted to be there. Was Roman okay? He had to be, right? There was no way anything serious was wrong. Logically, all four of them wouldn't just be sitting there if something serious happened, right?

Suddenly, Logan felt himself walking closer. As he approached he saw a bandage covering Roman's left temple. It was lightly red where blood threatened to seep through. Logan felt himself shake a bit as the paramedic's voice became audible.

"He should wake up any moment now. No reason to take him to the hospital, but like I said, it seems he hit his head hard so he might be a bit forgetful at first." The paramedic repeated. She pulled her white gloves off and disposed of them in a proper clear bag before putting it back in her bigger bag. "I'll let the teachers know he's okay. I can see he's in good hands with you." She spoke to Virgil softly, patting his shoulder.

The paramedic stood up and as she did so, Roman groaned, his left arm jerking to his bandage.

"Oh god.... I..." Roman looked up and immediately pushed his way out of Virgil's arms, spooking Virgil, Patton, and the paramedic. "Where am I? Who are you people?"

That response jolted Logan forward and up onto the stage as Virgil held his hands out to Roman, as if to show he meant no harm.

"Roman, it's me. Your little brother. It's Virgil." Virgil explained. His voice was soft as if he was speaking to a child.

"Virgil? I-I don't know you. I... who am I? Roman? Who is-" Roman was cut off by the doctor.

"Honey, do you know what day it is?" She asked simply, pulling a small penlight out of her pocket and flashing it into Roman's eyes.

"Um... not really." Roman answered, blinking. He held himself up by his arms, but Logan could see him trembling. "What's going on?"

"You took a pretty bad fall here at your school, young man." She said, pointing to the light scaffolding above them. "You're lucky you're not injured even worse. My name is Amelia. Do you know your name?"

Roman looked down and gritted his teeth. "I don't... I don't remember, I... ugh my head hurts. What happened? I can't..." Roman pulled at his hair and Amelia turned to Virgil.

"Is there someplace nearby you can take him that's quiet? He will need his rest to fully recover. I'd also recommend an appointment with his primary physician as soon as possible." Amelia explained.

Virgil nodded. "I'll tell our parents. And yeah, we can go to the nearby meeting room. It should be empty and it has a couch." Virgil walked slowly up to Roman, holding out his hand. "Hey... come with me? Please?"

Roman looked up at him, and all Logan could see was pain and confusion across his face. Logan's heart sunk. How long would Roman be this way?

After a few seconds, Roman took Virgil's hand and the purple clad boy led his brother through the backstage exit of the auditorium. Patton grabbed Logan to make sure he followed. The four of them entered the room and Patton locked the door behind them. Virgil led Roman to the couch, telling him to lay down, covering him with a nearby blanket and getting several pillows under his head for extra support.

"Roman is your name." Virgil started as he pulled up a chair. "You're my older brother by about 15 minutes. That person over there," Virgil pointed to Patton who waved, "is my boyfriend, Patton. And that," Virgil pointed to Logan, "is one of our best friends in the world. His name is Logan."

Roman scrunched his face in confusion and frustration. All of them could tell he was trying very hard to remember. After asking some vague questions, it was obvious Roman didn't remember anything at all. Virgil suggested Roman just try to relax. Roman agreed reluctantly and settled down into the pile of blankets.

Virgil stood from his seat and walked over to where Logan and Patton stood.

"I'm gonna go get his stuff and my stuff, then take him home." Virgil explained. "I also gotta call our mom. She's gonna be so mad at the school for not calling her or sending him to the hospital but we don't need that medical bill." Virgil sighed. He turned to Logan. "Can you stay with him for me? I'll be back in like 15 minutes. I want help, but someone needs to stay with him."

Logan peeked over Virgil's shoulder at Roman before he nodded. "Yes, of course."

Virgil released a long breath. "Thanks dude. We will be back." He grabbed Patton's hand and pulled him out of the room, the door slamming behind them.

Logan pushed his hair out of his face and sat down in a chair, about five feet away from Roman.

For a few moments, the only sound in the room was the ticking of the wall clock and a corner desk fan.

"So... um... Logan, right?" Roman asked as he sat up to face him.

"Yes, but you're supposed to be resting." Logan explained. "Virgil will kill me if anything happens to you."

Roman coughed a laugh. "I see. Well, he seems very kind so I'm happy about that. Anyway, I wanted to ask something..." he bit his lip before continuing. "... what's our relationship? You seem to be the most uncomfortable here but Virgil said we're best friends, right?"

Logan felt his shoulders stiffen. "Yeah, we are. Or at least I hope we are."

"Hope?" Roman responded and Logan heard his voice crack. "I hope I didn't do anything to hurt you, Logan. If so, that wasn't my intention."

Logan shrugged. "It's too much to explain to you at the moment. But we both said some things to each other at lunch today and left on not so great terms, so that's what I mean when I said I hope we were best friends."

Roman laid back onto the pillows. His eyes became half-lidded, like he was fighting off sleep. "I'm sorry, Logan. I'm sure I didn't mean it." He said barely above a whisper.

Logan stood and walked closer, leaning down to Roman's level. "You should rest. We can talk more about it later. Once you have your memory back." Logan reassured, tucking Roman in tightly. "Get some sleep before Virgil comes back. I love you."

Logan immediately realized what he had said and slapped his hand over his mouth. Roman did not move as Logan realized he had fallen asleep. His eyes were closed, his mouth partly open with his chest slowly rising and falling. Roman didn't hear him... right?

Before Logan could process the probability, the door unlocked and in came Virgil and Patton. Patton was carrying Logan's backpack and his briefcase. Virgil was on the phone.

"Yes mom. Yes... I know mom." Virgil kept repeating. "It seems Roman is resting now. I just got back to the room. I'm gonna let him sleep a bit longer before we head home. Okay. Yeah, okay, I will. Love you too." Virgil sighed as he ended the call, tucking the phone back in his pocket. "Everything alright Logan?" He asked.

Logan nodded as he took his things from Patton. "Yes, quite fine. I'm actually going to be taking my leave now. I'll see you both tomorrow. Give Roman my best."

Before Virgil or Patton could protest, Logan was out the door, making his way to the student parking area.

For the next several days of school, Roman was absent and so was Virgil. Patton told Logan that Virgil was staying home with Roman until he regained his memories since their mom couldn't take off from work and their mama was overseas for business.

One week after, Logan was sitting in the student council room, working on paperwork. He had proudly managed to get quite a bit completed. As Logan stapled a stack of papers together, a knock at the door rang out.

"Come in." Logan said as he bent over to file the packet away.

As he leaned back up, he was greeted by Roman standing in front of his desk. The boy was standing very casually with his hands in the pockets of his letterman jacket. He was grinning down at Logan.

"Roman!" Logan said, standing up. "You're back. Glad to see you're okay." He felt his face grow hot at remembering the last time he had seen Roman.

I love you.

"Yeah hey Specs. I just wanted to apologize for everything. The yelling at you in the cafeteria and all that jazz." Roman bit his cheek and scratched his head. "And also for any issues you had with my accident. I don't remember much about it, but I'm sure it was hard on you."

Logan sighed, crossing his arms. "Thank you, Roman. I am also sorry for the way I treated you that day. I need to realize you can make your own decisions and that I should support those decisions by assisting you how I can instead of just idly watching it happen."

"It's all good." Roman assured. "Also, um, I uh..." Logan's head snapped up and met with Roman's eyes. "Did you um... did you mean it?"

Logan took a sharp intake of breath. Well... shit.

"Mean what, exactly?" Logan responded.

Roman's eyes narrowed. "Feigning ignorance isn't going to help your situation, Specs. We both know what I'm talking about."

As Virgil would say, "I'm boned."

"Ah... that." Logan sat down. "What would happened if I say that I did mean it?"

Roman leaned over the desk, his eyes squinting with his lips curling into a smile. "I'd have to say I'm surprised you admitted it. As well to the fact that I remember it happening at all but..." Roman stood back up. "I would have to say it back."

Logan blinked. "Wait what? You... me... I... wait a minute-"

"The great Logan Foster is speechless? What such triumph it is for me!" Roman said happily, basically spinning around the desk to stand next to Logan. "But yes, my dear Logan, I will admit I also feel the same for you as you do I. Have for quite a long time as a matter of fact. Honestly, I've been trying to find a way to tell you, but all of my hints and flirting had failed."

Logan must've looked confused because Roman sighed loudly and unbelievably.

"You couldn't tell from the fact I bought you a dozen roses on Valentine's Day earlier this year? Or how on your birthday last year I took you to see your favorite band in concert just the two of us mind you! Also, may I say I'm surprised you wanted to see Breaking Benjamin, they don't really seem like your type of music but man they're pretty awesome, not gonna lie. And then what about the ring I gave you after the concert? Sure, it was just our birthstones but we have matching ones!" Roman stopped as Logan grabbed his shirt sleeve. The vice president didn't look up at him. "Logan?" Logan mumbled something incoherently and Roman frowned. "Come again?"

"I love you..." Logan said again, his face flushed a light pink. "Sorry I never noticed, I just thought you were being nice to me and I didn't want to read into the situation too much you know? I already do that so often. I'm sure it gets tiresome."

"No, none of that, my dearheart." Roman used his finger to get Logan to look up at him. "Your ability to understand the things around you is fascinating. You know, I realized I was in love with you almost two years ago. Virgil and Patton brought me along when they went with you for your academic team tournament thing. Seeing you up there on stage, standing your ground and firmly explaining your side of things was just... so damn attractive."

"It's called debate team but, thank you Roman." Logan said softly.

They stared into each other's eyes and Logan felt his heart begin to race. Roman was very close to him. Logan could feel his breath on his face and their noses were almost touching.

"May I?" Roman asked softly.

"You may." Logan answered.

The gap between them was closed as the two kissed deeply. Logan felt a weight falling off of his chest as Roman held him closely, running his fingers through Logan's hair. A tingle sensation flowed through Logan's feet and hands as the kiss came to an end. It was then he realized he had been smiling the whole time.

Roman reached up to push Logan's bangs out of his eyes. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

Logan could only laugh which caused Roman to begin snickering as well.

"Hot damn, it finally happened."

The boys turned to the doorway to see Virgil standing there with his arms crossed and Patton standing behind him grinning happily.

"This means double dates! I'm so excited! We can go to the amusement park and the movies and so much more!" Patton said excitedly.

"Pat, love, we already do that." Virgil responded and Patton frowned.

"Nooooo it's different now!! It'll be like a whole new experience!" Patton assured.

He turned to see Roman and Logan sitting on the couch, talking softly in their own little world, both smiling and holding hands.

"I'm so happy for them." Patton cooed. He reached over to hold Virgil's hand.

"Yeah, me too, Pat. Me too." Virgil agreed, squeezing Patton's hand back.

--

[thesustainableswap]

BLM Master Post / Resources

No blog post this week. I felt like this was much more important. Here is a master post of everything I’ve found regarding the BLM movement, from petitions, to where you should donate, to reading, to accounts, to business... hopefully most of what you’re looking for can be found below. If I’ve missed anything vital please let me know and I will add it.

Petitions:

Justice for George Floyd (White House) | Justice for George Floyd (change.org) | Justice for George Floyd (change.org) | Justice for George Floyd (color of Change)

RAISE THE DEGREE - Remove bail for Derek Chauvin, murderer of George Floyd (White House) | Arrest The Other Three (White House) | Raise The Degree (change.org) | The Minneapolis Police Officers to be charged for murder (change.org)

#JusticeforBre (MoveOn.org) | #JusticeforBre (color of Change)

Justice For Ahmaud Arbery (change.org) | Justice for Ahmaud Arbery- Pass Georgia Hate Crime Bill (change.org) | Disbarment of George E. Barnhill (change.org)

Trayvon Martin Law (change.org)

Hands Up Act (change.org)

Justice for Belly Mujinga (change.org)

Justice for Tony McDade (change.org)

Justice for Alejandro Vargas Martinez (change.org)

Justice for Regis Korchinski-Paquet (change.org)

Wrongful Conviction: Julius Jones is innocent (change.org)

Wrongful Conviction: Kyjuanzi Harris (change.org)

Willie Simmons has served 38 years for a $9 robbery (change.org)

Defund The Police Minneapolis (Every Action / Reclaim The Block) | Mandatory Life Sentence for Police Brutality (change.org) | National Action Against Police Brutality (change.org) | Against Police Brutality in France (change.org)

Demand Racial Data on Coronavirus (BLM) | Coronavirus: Demand More from the Government (BLM)

Get Schools to Speak Up (change.org)

Stand with BLM (organizefor.org)

Organisations to Donate to

George Floyd Memorial Fund

Minnesota Freedom Fund

Black Visions Collective

Reclaim the Block

Campaign Zero

Black Lives Matter

UKBLM

National Bailout Fund

Black Earth Farms

Communities United Against Police Brutality

Unicorn Riot

Louisville Community Bail Fund

Rebuilding the Community (We Love Lake Street)

United Families and Friends Campaign

COVID-19: Supporting BAME Communities

House of GG

Trans Justice Funding Project

The Okra Project

Youth Breakout

SNaPCo

Black AIDS Insitute

Trans Cultural District

LGBTQ+ Freedom Fund

For If You Have Little Money to Spare:

Check out these YouTube videos and play them while you go about your day (or actively watch! Up to you.) The ad revenue will be donated to organisations supporting black lives - but make sure you turn off your adblocker first.

By Zoe Amira

By Francesca Grace

By Cindy Marshall

By Danni and Emmyn

Instagram Accounts (source)

Nova Reid

Layla Saad

Rachel Cargle

Check Your Privilege

Rachel Ricketts

The Great Unlearn

Reni Eddo Lodge

Ibram X. Kendi

Galdem

The Irin Journal

Women Who

For Working Ladies

Thyself

Black Girl Fest

UK isn’t Innocent

Readbyrachelaa

Mikaela Loach

Podcasts

About Race with Remi Eddo-Lodge

Conversations with Nova Reid

iWeigh with Jameela Jamil

The YIKES podcast

Have You Heard George’s Podcast?

The World Wide Tribe

Zero Hour Talks

1619 by the New York Times

TV / Film (source)

13th

When They See Us

Selma

The Black Power Mixtape 1967 - 1975

I Am Not Your Negro

The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution

If Beale Street Could Talk

The Hate U Give

American Son

Trial by Media

Books: (Source)

How To Be Anti Racist by Ibram X. Kendi

Me and White Supremacy by Robin Diangelo and Layla Saad

Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Remi Eddo-Lodge

So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong

America’s Original Sin By Jim Wallis and Bryan Stevenson

The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander

Blindspot by Mahzarin R. Banaji & Anthony G. Greenwald

Good Talk by Mira Jacob

Between The World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

How Does It Feel To Be A Problem by Moustafa Bayoumi

The Fire This Time by Jesmyn Ward

White Fragility by Robin Diangelo

I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown

When They Call You A Terrorist by Patrisse Khan-Cullors, Asha Bandele, et al.

An African American and Latin History of The United States by Paul Ortiz

Citizen by Claudia Rankine

An Indigenous Peoples’ History of The United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

Mindful of Race by Ruth King

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson

Tears We Cannot Stop by Michael Eric Dyson

Stamped From The Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi

Have Black Lives Ever Mattered? By Mumia Abu-Jamal

The Coloraturas of Law by Richard Rothstein

The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson

Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? By Beverly Daniel Tatum

Stamped by Jason Reynolds & Ibram X. Kendi

This Book Is Anti Racist by Tiffany Jewell and Aurelia Durand

Brit(ish) by Afua Hirsch

Children’s Books: (Source)

Malcolm Little by Ilyasah Shabazz

Let It Shine: Stories of Black Women Freedom Fighters by Andrea Davis Pinkney

Something Happened in Our Town: A Child’s Story About Racial Injustice by Marianne Celano, Marietta Collins and Ann Hazzard

My Hair Is A Garden by Cozbi A. Cabrera

Separate Is Never Equal by Duncan Tonatiuh

Young Water Protectors by Aslan Tudor

My Family Divided by Diana Guerrero

We Are Grateful by Traci Sorell

I Am Not A Number by Jenny Kay Dupuis and Kathy Kacer

Schomburg: The Man Who Built A Library by Carole Boston Weatherford

Lailah’s Lunchbox: A Ramadan Story by Reem Faruqi

The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson

The Whispering Town by Jennifer Elvgren

When Harriet Tubman Led Her People To Freedom by Carole Boston Weatherford

When I Was Eight by Christy Jordan-Fenton & Margaret Pokiak-Fenton

Happy In Our Skin by Fran Manushkin

Chocolate Milk, Por Favor by Maria Dismondy

Voice of Freedom: Fannie Lou Hamer by Carole Boston Weatherford

When We Were Alone by David A. Robertson & Julie Flett

Shining Star The Anna May Wong Story by Paula Yoo & Lin Wang

Little Leaders: Bold Women In Black History by Vashti Harrison

Maddi’s Fridge by Lois Brandt

Hair Love by Matthew A. Cherry

Sulwe by Vashti Harrison

A Is For Activist by Innosanto Nagara

Intersection Allies by Chelsea Johnson, LaToya Council & Carolyn Choi

What Is Race? Who Are Racists? Why Does Skin Colour Matter? And Other Big Questions by Clair Heuchan & Nikesh Shukla

Black Owned Businesses: (source)

Wales Bonner

Casely-Hayford

Daughter of a Bohemian


Daily Paper

Aaks: Basket Bags

Martine Rose

Nubian Skin

Sincerely Nude

Liha Beauty

Beauty Stack

Bouclème: Afro and Curly Hair Products

Afrocenchix: Hair Products

The Afro Hair and Skin Company: shampoo bars, hair masks, face masks

Prick: Cacti and Plantcare

La Basketry: homeware

Bonita Ivie: stationery & design

Reset travel: travel cards and workshops

Bespoke Binny: homeware

New Beacon Books: Specialists in African and Caribbean Literature

Original Flava by Craig & Shaun McAnuff

Zoe’s Ghana Kitchen by Zoe Adjonyoh

Hibiscus by Lopè Ariyo

Ethiopia by Yohanis Gebreyesus

Belly Full by Riaz Phillips

Chika’s Snacks

Berry and Brie Grazing Boxes

Yard Confectionery Chocolate

Cabby’s Rum

Cham Cham Hot Pepper Sauce

Stay strong, and get learning (or unlearning)!

[aliferous-ly]

ya girl back at it again with the headcanon splat of ideas, splabbles if you will

(drabbles, splat, sprabbles, yes? no? i’ll see myself out)

FARMER BOY VIRGIL

yknow analogical is just so good so why not duderinos lez go

yes yes this is strange but hear me out

virgil lives on a farm with his grandparents and two cousins

u guys are v creative im sure you could come up with wonderful people to be them, shorts characters or cartoon therapy characters or ocs

he likes gardening mostly while his cousins take care of animals n stuff

but he does have a pet goat named Anx who he loves dearly, he would die for her tbh

side note on Anx she was a v nervous lil kid and he was the only one who managed to calm her down

she liked the smell of his big hoodie and his hands smell like plants 

she lets other people milk her but she heavily heavily prefers virgil, and gets stressed when she doesnt see him for a day or two 

he’s 100% ok with this

AGAIN MORE UNDER THE CUT I JUST KNOW ITS GONNA GET LONG

they go to a farmer’s market every saturday morning, it’s 9am to 2pm

they sell fruits from their orchard and veggies from the garden

originally virgil didn’t go at all, he stayed back to ‘watch the farm’ but he really just. freaked out a lot about dealing with people 

his gparents understood and so did his cousins, plus then his cousins get more pocket change lollll

(they give virgil some because virgil ~basically~ grew all the veggies and some fruits /raspberries mostly/)

eventually virgil goes, one of his cousins convince him bcuz this one stand has honeycomb and he’s literally obsessed with honey and bees, forever sad their farm doesnt have any (one of his cousins are deeply afraid of bees + allergic, and virgil would never get bees w them so scared)

anyway he goes to the farmers market and mostly sits behind their stand in the back

at one point he works up the courage to go to the honey stand which is like. right next stand

there’s so much honey 

so much

they’re all different colors and have different flower labels on them , and there are even some books people can look through, and a tiny brochure almost that has lil facts on bees

he’s in awe he just loves it all so much

anyway he clears his throat and buys some honeycomb from the man behind the counter, who has glasses and a tie and a lil nametag that says “Logan”

Virgil goes back to his stand even though he wants to stay there so bad and read about BEES

he loves BEES

~ fast forward to the next week ~

he goes and its wonderful he buys some acacia honey

to go with his tea

he loves tea

the dude selling it is different tho, he’s wearing sunglasses and a flannel shirt rolled up to the elbows, unbuttoned with a white undershirt virgil’s bidar (get it bisexual gaydar) starts going off 

dude has a nametag “Remy” which sounds p cool to virgil’s deviantart oc ears

anyway he slinks back to his fam’s stand

and they teach him how to sell and he realizes it’s . pretty easy, people buying fresh veggies in a farmer’s market are usually not Super Angry

two boys walk by, one wearing a wicked t-shirt and the other with a black t-shirt and a tie

“how much would you give me if I ate a raw radish” wicked t-shirt boy says

“fifty cents” tie boy replies

“that’s it? the radish costs more than that!”

“I’ll buy the radish then”

he buys the radish and virgil links tie boy to bee boy and blurts out “hey, i know you!” 

logan blinks at him. “yes i work at the bee stand. this is roman, sometimes he works at the gelato stand.”

logan gives the raw radish to roman and he just. chomp

he spits it out like five seconds later and virgil can’t help laughing, esp because logan’s face is so smug

“fifty cents lost. what a waste”

“stfu”

virgil thinks this is hilarious 

~ fast forward again yey ~

time passes and virgil hangs out w bee man logan bcuz logan figured out virgil’s obsession with bees are like his so they just. geek out. over bees

i love them

roman works at the gelato stand sometimes because his sisters and mom usually are there, but when he does work there he sometimes drags his friend patton along and they work together 

virgil had never had gelato before . roman and patton think this is a True Crime,

logan finds out about how virgil wants to take care of bees or see them or literally . something. he’s starved. but he cant because of his cousin

so logan invites virgil to his house. he and his brother remy work the stand , his parents were involved in the start but now they just let their boys do their thing 

they live somewhat in the country? but not on a farm just a house with. a lot of land

logan has a whole system down and virgil is so fascinated with it and 

i cant believe they fall in love over bees 

so many honey puns too bad i suck at puns

someone hmu with a good punny name for this bee au

roman, remy, patton, virgil’s two cousins, and virgil’s grandma all have a betting pool over when they’re getting together. roman and remy have the biggest money in the pot, followed closely by virgil’s gma 

break to breath omfg so many bulletmarks

ok we resume

logan visits virgil one day and virgil’s grandma gives them a cherry pie and tells em to enjoy it in virgil’s tree house thing

it’s like a platform in the trees p much, with branches surrounding it

virgil keeps honey up there because he doesnt want his fam to steal it from him 

but he doesnt remember having spoons

theyre chilling in the tree house, eating cherry pie with spoons directly from the pie tin, being eternal icons

logan picks up one of the honey jars and it’s his honey

virgil mumbles something about how much he loves lavender honey, and logan always has some of it 

logan flushes and says that he keeps one hidden until virgil comes over to his stand, so virgil always had one to buy. if he didnt buy it logan would sneak it back under the counter for next week

now they’re both blushing messes

virgil looks at his spoon, and at the honey, and just. snatch

and he gets a spoonful of honey, not too full so he doesnt accidentally spill because his hands are shaking so bad, and he holds it out to logan, feeling like his heart is about to burst

virgil and logan feel a charge in the air and virgil is so so nervous

logan slowly. slowly leans forward wraps his mouth around the spoonful of honey, pulling away just as gradually

logan feels like he’s going to explode

anyway after logan did That virgil just . squeaked and covered his face with his hands and scarf 

(side headcanon when its not cold enough for sweatshirts he has some cloth to cover his face if he gets embarrassed, because just hands feels too oily for him)

their faces are so red

they leave the treehouse hand in hand and the betting pool is OVER !! they finally did it!!! they got together!!!!!

(virgil’s gma wins the pool)

(they think she planned it out but they have no proof)

(she did)

(100%)

anyway honeybee gays is slaying me in this chillis tonight join me in this pit

MINI BONUS ROYALITY BCUZ THIS IS SO LONG ALREADY

roman’s family makes the gelato themselves

mostly

patton loves giving random flavor suggestions

before they got together there was so much pining, so many pet names but “it’s just platonic!! :’)”

after they got together there’s so many gelato dates

many many pet names , they see who can come up with the most sugary

logan and virgil die basically when they’re around them/go on double dates

relationship competitions , ie who can win at chicken at the pool

all of roman’s sisters love patton so much

(there’s three of them but one of them has a v serious gf so roman counts her as the fourth)

super cute 

#relationshipgoals

[kenzieam]

Mortal - Chapter Two

Rating: M (smut, language, angst and sorrow)

Genre: Drama/Angst

@captstefanbrandt @iammarylastar @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @notimetoblog @captain-ariel-barnes  @bitsandbobsandstuff @moonbeambucky @badassbaker @citylights221 @empress-of-boujee  @shynara51 @diinofayce @casestudy-mw  @jewels2876 @damnaged-princess @everythingisoverrated @allmyfanficfaves @clarabella960  @angryschnauzer @wowspideyholland @sergeantwhitewolf @smilexcaptainx  @chook007 @laketaj24 @wish-i-was-a-mermaid @brujademente @shirukitsune @lostinspace33  @booksteaandarainyday @averyrogers83

If you want off/on this list, send me a DM

******************************************************************************

***Slightly Non-Canon. Asgard hasn’t been destroyed, Thanos didn’t succeed with the snap….. I’ve taken a few liberties, my lovelies***

Word Count - 4.4K

******************************************************************************

Her heart stuttered to a stop, and rage began boiling in her veins when she saw it was his dark brother, Loki, standing there instead.  

“Where’s Thor?” Tony demanded suspiciously, taking a step forward. “Is he hurt?”

The air fairly crackled with tension.

“My brother is whole and healthy.” Loki replied, holding his hand up, palms out. “Forgive me the deception; I knew there would be no welcome if I was expected.”

He wasn’t wrong, and no one corrected him.  

“Why are you here then?” Tony’s tone was no less demanding and, if anything, was even more suspicious than before.

The dark-haired prince sighed and, if he’d been anyone else, Remy could have believed that the look on his face was a mix of uncertainty and hesitation. “I wish to speak to Remy.” He replied, lifting his head to stand straight and tall.

All eyes turned to Remy, who stood there in complete shock. What? She swallowed, genuinely stunned. Why? You know what? I’m too sober for this shit. Remy whirled without answering and all but ran back inside. Voices yelled after her but the pounding of her heart and rush of blood in her ears kept her from deciphering them.

Remy rested in her quarters. Thankfully, Rora had slept through her mad dash and scrambled retreat, and Remy had laid her in her cradle before collapsing in the nearby rocking chair. What the actual fuck? Loki was here? After five years? To talk to her?? What the everlasting fuck for???

At their last encounter, the god had made it perfectly clear what he thought of Remy, and if Remy had spent the last half-decade thinking about him, that was her own fault, he’d certainly not troubled himself with thoughts of her... or had he? Because here he was and, if he hadn’t proven himself a cold, cruel trickster at every opportunity he’d been given before, Remy would have called him nervous and almost timid now.  

Her musings were interrupted by a quiet knock on the door. “Remy?” A muffled voice.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Steve. I’m alone.”

“Okay.”

The door opened and Steve shut it silently behind him. For a long moment, he just gazed at Remy while she studied him back. He didn’t look hurt, there was no visible blood on him; if anything, he looked contemplative, thoughtful. At least some type of brawl hadn’t erupted after Remy’s retreat.

“What is he doing here?” Remy finally demanded, beginning to gnaw on her bottom lip.  

Steve walked towards her and stopped, leaning over. Reaching out he gently gripped her chin and pulled her bottom lip free with his thumb then took a step back and sat on the edge of Remy’s bed. “You heard him, he wants to talk to you.”

“But why?”  

Steve shrugged. “He won’t go into specifics, but he is adamant that you and him speak at some point. Tony wouldn’t budge so Loki summoned Thor too. Finally, we agreed to let Loki stay in the city for now.”

“For how long?”

“Tony’s given him four days, but he says he isn’t leaving until you talk to him.”

“I don’t owe him shit!” Remy snapped, cheeks flushing.

“You’re right, you don’t.” Steve agreed, nodding. “But I think you should anyway.”

Remy frowned, narrowing her eyes. “Why?”

He shrugged again, holding his hands out in defeat. “Remy, I love you with my whole heart; you’re my sister in every way that counts and I would give my life to protect you and Rora; I wouldn’t put you in danger, for anything. You know that, right?”

Remy nodded.

“I... I never thought I’d say this... I think Loki is serious this time. There’s just.... he’s not the same man I remember. Thor says he’s changed and I’m starting to wonder if he’s right. You don’t owe him but he’s going through a lot of trouble for this, whatever he wants to say to you is important, at least to him. I remember what you were like after he was here five years ago, you wouldn’t tell anyone what he said, but he hurt you; we could all see it. Maybe now you can have some type of closure, some way to settle it all in your mind.”

Remy pondered this; she remembered her friend’s and teammate’s descriptions of Loki from the past. Calculating and shrewd, he looked after himself first and foremost and when he made a gamble, it was only when the odds were in his favor. Remy agreeing to speak to him was anything but a sure thing; there was nothing stopping the Avengers from attacking Loki, imprisoning him or having his brother come and stop him. Thor’s powers since Odin’s passing and his narrow victory over his sister Hela had grown exponentially and sharpened to a razor point, making him truly all-powerful. He could easily exile Loki, restrain him; hell, even kill him if he had to. In short, there was no tactical advantage to Loki’s actions, there was no sure path to success; the god who preserved himself above all else was putting himself out there.

And for what? The chance to speak to her?

“Is he here still?”

“No.” Steve replied. “He’s taken a suite at the Four Seasons,” he rolled his eyes at the extravagance. “Thor’s all but sworn on his whole kingdom that Loki will behave.”

There it was again. She might not, okay... didn’t, trust Loki, but she did trust Thor. That he was willing to put his neck out like this was saying something and the fact that Steve thought it would help her was hard to ignore too. There was no way in hell Steve would ever willingly hurt Remy, that she knew without a doubt; he wouldn’t be suggesting she speak to Loki if he didn’t truly believe it would be beneficial in some way to her. Her eyes trailed to Rora, still sleeping; Steve followed her gaze.  

“I don’t think you should take Rora though.” He added.

Remy was torn. Rora was still painfully young, still nursing, still one hundred percent dependent on Remy; the thought of leaving her daughter, even for a few hours, was reprehensible to the new mom, but Steve was right. At best, Remy’s attention would be split; at worst, Loki could attempt some sort of attack on Rora to force Remy into doing something for him. Remy nodded in agreement.

“Are you planning on going right away?” Steve asked.

Remy shook her head vehemently. “Fuck, no. I’m taking a few days to think about this first. If he’s serious about this, he’ll wait.”

“Language.” Steve chastised mildly, grinning widely when Remy sighed and flicked blue sparks at him.

Loki was watched closer than the President for the next few days. Tony had the entire hotel monitored and bugged, the top staff bribed, and the majority of his considerable resources pointed at only one thing; the man in the suite who never left.  

Indeed, Loki seemed to have become a hermit. He took his meals in his rooms, he never ventured out, never so much as poked his aristocratic nose outside the door. Loki was many things, but he wasn’t a fool, and only a fool would have not known that their every move was being watched, but Loki’s behavior seemed to go beyond that. After two days, even Tony ventured that opinion. Loki knew he was being monitored, but he wasn’t concealing anything either; this isolationist behavior wasn’t an act, not anymore.  

He had truly changed.  

Tony grew tired of watching the live feed, there was only so much you could take of seeing a man reclining and reading, or walking the room and gazing out the windows. The times when Loki would sit and stare at nothing, or hold his head in his hands were times Tony turned away, it was too easy to see the grief and shame, and it was surprisingly hard to watch.

But the worst, by far, were the nightmares. Loki’s broken sleep was too close to Bucky and Levi’s own struggles to be anything but genuine. The way he’d awaken in the dark, lay panting and tangled amongst the sheets, almost whining like an animal low in his throat were unexpectedly distressing. The full extent of what his brother endured at the hands of Thanos and the Chitauri Thor either didn’t know, or wouldn’t reveal; but Loki’s desperate agony hinted at horrors and misery equal to or perhaps, frighteningly, even greater than what HYDRA was capable of.  

When he had stopped screaming, stopped trembling but was still crying, rasping deep gasping breaths; Loki would pull a notebook into his lap and begin to write; it seemed to calm him. His drum-tight muscles would relax, his breathing slow; and Tony, the too-curious-for-his-own-good ass itched to learn what words soothed the traumatized man.  

After three days, Remy decided she had waited long enough. Her family would not let her go unescorted, so while Pepper cared for Rora, the team followed Remy to the Four Seasons. Once there, they scattered, ready to react at a moment’s notice.

The only person that accompanied Remy right to Loki’s door was Wanda.

The gamut of emotions that crossed Loki’s face when he answered the door was almost comical. While he’d hoped Remy would come, he hadn’t bet the farm on it, and he was definitely surprised. He was unsurprised, however, to see Wanda with her. He knew of the Scarlet Witch’s abilities, knew what Remy would demand before she agreed to speak with him.  

And why not? You are a monster in their eyes, you’ve done unspeakable things and even if they do eventually forgive you, it will take years.  

“Remy.” He murmured, dropping his eyes like a timid lover. He nodded to Wanda and stepped back, gesturing for them to enter.  

Cautiously, the women did and, for a moment, they just stared at the god, who shifted almost anxiously under their scrutiny.  

“Thank you, Remy. For agreeing to speak with me.” He finally ventured.

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.” Remy countered, feeling a surprising pang at his wince. “You know what Wanda can do; I won’t talk to you until you let her into your mind, until we know what your game is.”

The wince again, fainter this time. When he lifted his head, there was a miserable resignation. “Of course.” He whispered. “For how could you ever trust my word?” He nodded, glancing at Wanda. “Do what you must, Miss Maximoff. I apologize for what you are about to see.”

Wanda glanced at Remy before frowning at Loki, there was no threat to his words, only sorrow. Focusing on the black-haired man, Wanda reached out her senses and Loki flinched when they touched him. He flashed one last apologetic glance at the women before sighing in defeat and closing his eyes, letting Wanda in.  

Almost instantly, the woman tensed and Remy reached out to grip her arm and steady her. Tension skittered across Wanda’s face and she bit back a gasp. In front of them, Loki stumbled, almost falling to his knees.  

Remy felt it then. Being a pyrokinetic, she also harbored telepathic abilities to a far lesser degree; hardly enough to control anyone or read their thoughts, but the strength and intensity of Loki’s mind rushing through Wanda was nonetheless able to lick at her consciousness too.  

There were no images, only pain. White hot agony, mind-numbing in its intensity. A voice begged to stop, a broken whisper, and Remy recognized the owner. Loki, nearly spent, nearly ready to give up. Then, like a blast of static, everything shifted. Remy likened it to Wanda flipping a large section of the book she was reading of Loki’s mind, skipping to a new chapter.  

The immediate agony was gone, replaced with lingering, continuous, never-ending aching. The pain of a deep-bruise, a soul-deep wound that might never fully heal, but would remind you of its presence for the rest of your days. But now, there was more than that, there was warmth and maybe even hope.  

A younger Remy, five years ago, quietly perched on a bench in the library, engrossed in her book, unaware that, across the room, the god of mischief drank her in like life-giving water.  

Remy, smiling and laughing at the table, one of the few suppers Thor managed to drag Loki to; snorting and almost choking on her drink when Sam recounted how he had punk’d Bucky into believing the TV was possessed. The air around her seemed to glow, like an aura, and Remy wondered if that was how Loki truly saw her. But no one could lie to Wanda, not when she was mining the deepest recesses of their mind.  

Loki stood now, eyes closed and hands fisted, shaking slightly under the strain. Remy had asked Wanda into her mind, once, and while the woman had been gentle, it had still staggered Remy to feel her there, sifting and turning her mind, laying the darkest pockets open and exposed. Wanda was pulling no such punches now, she was hitting Loki with as much as she dared, as much as a sentient mind could take without breaking. Partially because Wanda loved Remy like a sister, and wanted to be completely convinced that she would be safe with him; but also because it was no secret how powerful Loki was, how cunning and smart; if Wanda didn’t almost cripple him, he might be able to sidestep her, conceal his darkest thoughts in some way.  

Loki knew this, and was still consenting but Remy felt a heart-rending pang deep in her chest when she saw a single tear trail down his cheek. Whether it was from the physical discomfort, or from the literal rape of his mind, Remy didn’t know; but she was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to comfort him.  

She turned to Wanda, ready to touch her arm and ask her to stop, when the older woman exhaled slowly and lifted her head, opening her eyes. For a moment, her gaze was unfocused, then it sharpened and filled with sympathy. She blinked a few times and looked to Remy, nodding slightly. Apart from them, Loki staggered once more as Wanda withdrew, reaching out to steady himself on a nearby chair. He was breathing heavily, almost panting, head lowered.  

“Did you find what you needed?” He asked, his voice struggling to remain even.  

“Yes,” Wanda answered, and then, surprisingly, “I’m sorry.” There was genuine empathy in her eyes now. “Excuse us a moment.” She clutched at Remy’s arm and pulled her from the room, shutting the door behind them.  

“I don’t have much time,” Wanda began. “I need to purge all that before it has a chance to stick in my head, but I detect no deception from him about you. What he says is what he means.” Wanda exhaled shakily, reaching up to brush at a wayward tear. “It was like dipping into Bucky’s mind, or Levi’s or even yours. Unbelievable, crushing pain; uncertainty... one bright spot to focus on.” Her red-rimmed eyes met Remy’s and she gave a shaky smile.  

Remy nodded, her heart thudding. She felt a vague shame now, for demanding Loki submit to this, for refusing to trust him; but it was understandable, at least to a point. Remy had no experience with the power-hungry Loki of old, but she did know the man that had crushed her heart five years ago, and was loathed to experience such a devastating rejection again. Surely what Loki had just endured was proof of his genuine feelings.  

“Thank you, Wanda.” Remy replied quietly. Wanda nodded somberly. “I’ll be okay, I’d like to talk to him now.”

Wanda hesitated only for a moment, then turned away. Remy exhaled a slow breath; her team, her family were nearby, even in Loki did mean her harm (and Remy no longer believed he did), they would be able to intervene within minutes.  

Remy was safe, at least from Loki; but was she safe from herself and her own feelings? She’d fallen for Loki five years ago, fallen hard and felt that pain still; could she trust herself to not self-destruct this time?

She turned and held up her fist, hesitating a heartbeat before knocking.

“Come in,” came Loki’s quiet answer. He was seated when Remy entered, but shot to his feet, stumbling slightly. Remy wasn’t sure what was worse, the drawn lines of pain on his face or the unsteadiness of his body. What had she just done to him? What was he reliving? What was he fighting back now?

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, her shame thick in her throat.

“It was necessary.” Came Loki’s murmured answer. “I have given no one reason to trust me before.” His eyes lifted to meet hers and he swallowed, looking, of all things, nervous. He swallowed again and gestured to a nearby table. “Would you like some wine?”

Remy shook her head. “I’d love some, but no thank you, I’m still nursing.”  

“Of course. I forgot, please forgive me.” He was genuinely distressed. He cast about and Remy wondered if he’d ever been this clumsy and discombobulated around a woman before.

“Do you have tea?” Remy ventured.

“Yes!” He whirled and approached the bar, Remy following and when he turned again, she was slowly and shyly sitting on a stool across the bar from him and he smiled suddenly; an unguarded, surprised grin that made small wings flutter in her belly.  

“I’m sorry, I should have remembered-”

Remy waved off his apology. “It’s alright.”  

They fell silent, smiling nervously at each other before looking away again and again until the kettle boiled. Remy accepted her cup gratefully, standing and following Loki when he gestured to a pair of armchairs.

“Would you like to sit?” It was easy for Remy to remember that Loki had been raised a prince right now. His manners were impeccable, even if his complexion was still a little pallid.

Remy felt herself relaxing more, sitting with her feet curled underneath her and glancing around. “Nice suite.”

Loki followed her gaze and shrugged gently. “It is a gilded cell, while I waited with a quaking heart to see if you would speak with me.”

“What did you want to say?” You’ve gone through a fuck-ton of trouble for it, Remy thought with a pang.        

Loki sighed quietly, staring into his tea while he collected himself. “I am sorry, Remy. So deeply sorry.” He glanced at her before dropping his eyes again. “I treated you abhorrently, trod cruelly on your emotions and, worst of all... lied to your face.”

Remy’s heart began to beat heavier, almost thumping in her chest. Was he about to say what she’d only allowed herself to imagine in her most grief-stricken, heart-rending fantasies?

“You were never just a child to me.” He continued. “And never foolish. I treasured your presence in the library, looked forward to it every day. My time with you is the brightest memory I have.”

“Then why? Why did you say that? Why did you walk away after you made me cry?”

Loki flinched again, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “Because I do not deserve you.”

What the hell? He’s a prince, he’s the one out of my league! Remy’s mind scoffed. “Loki, I don’t-”

“I have brought nothing but pain and unhappiness to the world, to the entire nine realms. My entire life has been wasted in jealousy and the quest for power. If there is anyone in the universe undeserving of a happy ending, it is me.” His voice cracked slightly. “I do not expect anything from you. I only hoped I could apologize, for out of everything I’ve done, hurting you was my most painful regret.”

“So... you don’t want me after all.” Remy murmured. She’d completely misread the situation, again.

“No!” Loki’s head shot up and his eyes blazed. “I want you more than anything I have ever desired in my life. You consume my every thought and dream. You are the siren song that has been calling to me since I first saw you five years ago; an eternity in my broken heart and mind. I want you... I need you; but I certainly don’t deserve you.” Loki exhaled, staring down at his hands, which he curled slowly into fists. “I see my brother, content, fortunate and beyond happy with his wife, their children; and for the first time in our shared lives... although I am jealous, although I covet the life he has now, I don’t want to take it from him, I just want my own as well.” He glanced away, to a corner of the floor, as if too ashamed to meet Remy’s eyes. “But instead of reaching out and embracing what was standing right in front of me, begging me to see her; I pushed you away, crushed your heart and left. It is unconscionable, and while I sit here baring my heart to you, it is with the knowledge that not only do I not deserve you, but I have destroyed any chance I ever had with you.”

Remy sat, stunned. She’d contemplated many scenarios, envisioned innumerable directions this encounter could go, for why was Loki going through such trouble to talk to her if what he wanted to say wasn’t earth-shattering in some way, but she’d never entertained this, the degree and depth of his shame and desire. She doubted he’d ever bared himself like this to anyone, not even to Thor and it frightened her to a degree. She was only a girl, a mortal human; Remy Mackenzie Jericho, a foster-home run-away and teenage delinquent until Tony Stark had taken a chance on her, bringing her into his circle and giving her an outlet for her demons. Loki spoke of not deserving her, but she was the one who didn’t deserve him. He was a god, an immortal being with magical powers, with a thousand years of life behind him, and while his past was inarguably cloudy, it was certainly epic. It was mind-blowing to her that he had been agonizing over their parting words five years ago, that he’d taken the pathetic whimpering and infatuation of a child to heart the way he had, had let it burrow so deep into his soul that it had given him no peace since.  

And damn him, his words were dragging up thoughts and emotions Remy had thought she’d long ago discarded, or at least hidden so well she would never find them again. His words ‘I want you more than anything-’, ‘You are the siren song that has been calling to me since I first saw you-’ were echoes of her own heart. All the chaos and broken pieces inside her, that her unconventional family tamed but by no means fully conquered, had settled instantly when she’d first met Loki. The rightness she’d felt, that she’d convinced herself was simple fancy, simple delusion, was too great to dismiss.  

But it was for naught.

They could not. He was a god and she was a human. He'd pushed her away once and she’d careened down a path that now ruled her life. She had a child, sired by a man who never lived to see his offspring, she was a mother; it was no longer just herself she had to worry about, had to protect and look out for. She had responsibilities, duties to her family, to her daughter, to herself and to the world she’d chosen to defend. There was no room for Loki there, no room for a god larger than life.  

And, most damning of all; what was to stop him from breaking her all over again? What was five years to a man who’d lived a thousand? A breath, a blink, a fleeting fugue, a brief moment of madness, a momentary lapse of sanity. Strong emotions made you do things you’d never dream of doing were you in your right mind, Remy knew all too well; the flare of desire was just that, a flare, igniting hot and fast, but ultimately burning itself out.

If anyone knew the personality of fire, it was Remy.

She glanced up from her tangled thoughts and felt an agonizing jolt. Loki was watching her and, based on the sorrow in his eyes, her thoughts and fears had been transparent on her face, had screamed across the waiting silence between them.  

Remy had witnessed Bucky at his low points, Levi at her most self-damaging; she’d faced herself in the mirror when all she’d wanted to do was watch the world burn, when her fingers twitched to throw the genesis sparks to trigger the inferno; and yet she’d never seen such devastation before. A thousand years of turmoil and unrest breeds a great well in the soul, and the misery and torment that can fill it is mind-numbing in its scope.  

She’d never considered the well that lay inside Loki, and it stole her breath to see it now.  

“I understand.” Loki murmured, more a tingle across her skin than actually heard and nodded his head. “Thank you for speaking with me.” He stood and strode to the door, seemed to hesitate a moment, as if to brace himself, then pulled it open and turned back to face her. “I won’t keep you any longer. Please inform Mr. Stark I will be leaving soon.”

Panic coursed through Remy; the same edgy nerviness she’d felt five years ago. For all her mind’s protests, her heart still cried for him, was willing to throw itself straight into the face of all the reasons she should turn and run instead.  

‘You consume my every thought and dream.’

Remy couldn’t let him walk away again. The potential pain of giving herself over to him was certainly less than the agony of losing him a second time. She stood, trembling as she walked towards him. Loki looked away, down the hallway, intently focused on anything but her, blinking rapidly. When she reached him, Remy paused and, rather than stepping past, she moved hesitantly closer.  

Loki inhaled sharply, turning his head to look down at her, disbelief and burgeoning hope in his eyes. His chest began to heave, he looked afraid to move, as if it would break the spell.  

Remy pressed her body gently to his, turning her face into his throat and let out a ragged sob. Her arms reached around, clutching at his back.

Loki exhaled, a torn, tattered whimper of visceral, emotional release. Letting go of the door he pushed it shut then wrapped himself around Remy, clawing her closer, burying his face into her hair with an answering sob. 

[more--than--anything]

Episode Review: "That Roman. Brains and beauty." [S03E21]

We have reached the penultimate episode of the season. With all but one episode behind us, how do feel about where this season has taken us?

Y: I love it and I hate it and I am scared and I am worried and I don’t think I am ready for where it is all leading. But otherwise, I’m totes chill.

L: Same. I kind of thought that I was prepared for this episode, but as it turns out, no, I was not. I loved it. I mean, I’m also terrified for every one of these characters, but damn, I’m dying to find out where all this has been heading!

Our case of the week is sort of a continuation of the previous case but is probably best categorized as “The team tries to stay one step ahead of Roman,” a goal that is far more easily stated than accomplished. Does it seem like they are gaining ground?

L: In the previous episode, the team arrested Lynnette Belmont and confiscated her laptop, where they discovered Franklin-Dorfman security codes good for the next 24 hours. The team is certain that Crawford is targeting one or more of those buildings, but they have 117 possible targets and not enough time to prevent attacks at all of them. (I guess contacting Franklin-Dorfman is out of the question? Don’t they have some kind of security breach contingency plan? And if not, why are so many businesses depending on them?!) The team seems stalled until one of the locations reports a break-in, Farm Fresh Solvents, which stores large quantities of dinitrogen tetroxide. Jane has a conveniently-timed flashback in which she recalls Roman outlining a plan for Shepherd that involves stealing that chemical and combining it with another one to build a bomb. Patterson and Rich (the aptly-named “Wonder Twins,” as Reade refers to them) identify the other chemical needed, monomethylhydrazine. But in order to figure out which location would have MMH, they bring Shepherd in for questioning. (Because I guess it would take too long to cross off all the buildings on their list? How common is MMH? Somehow I’m thinking Patterson would have been able to find it without involving Shepherd.)

Y: Come on now, cut the team--the writing team, that is--some slack. Look beyond the plot holes that allowed them to bring Shepherd back, because bringing Shepherd back was absolutely epic. Yes, I agree it seems like this threat could have been resolved with one phone call, but where’s the fun in that?

L: True. I can’t argue with any plot twist that lets Michelle Hurd come back and creep us out!

Shepherd is delighted to catch up with the team. She immediately taunts Kurt about his wedding ring and his relationship with her daughter (who was “tailor-made” for him, no pun intended, I’m sure). She assures them she has the information they need but says she will only give it to Jane. After some discussion (during which it is noted that Shepherd “resisted all enhanced interrogation techniques”--like daughter, like mother, apparently; my mom just gave me her paprikash recipe, but I guess every family passes along their own specialties), Jane volunteers to go in and talk to Shepherd. Shepherd apologizes for trying to come between Remi and Roman and appeals to Jane not to hurt Roman, ending with an ominous, “If he dies, you die with him.” She does hold up her end of the bargain, though, informing them that Roman will steal the second ingredient from Little Sky Storage, a military subcontractor that specializes in the storage of hazardous materials.

Unfortunately, the FBI team sent to secure the facility arrives too late. All the guards are dead, and the MMH is missing, but an employee reports a truck leaving the premises and describes it to the FBI. Patterson finds it on a traffic camera and discovers that it’s on its way to the United Nations. The team springs into action, ordering an evacuation of the UN, while Reade and Zapata check out the loading dock where the truck dropped off its contents. They find the bomb, hidden in a copy machine, and disassemble it with seconds to spare. (Judging by what happens later in this episode, it’s clear that this activity has the same aphrodisiac effect on them as it does on the Wellers. Can’t these people just drink a little wine to get in the mood?)

Meanwhile back at the OK Corral, the Wonder Twins continue their digging into Lynnette’s laptop and discover that she used her wife’s credentials to login to Franklin-Dorfman. (Kudos to the writers’ room for another non-conventional family, although like all of the same-sex relationships on this show--and most of the heterosexual ones as well, to be fair--it’s likely on its way to an unhappy ending now.) Patterson and Rich lean on Lynnette, threatening to charge her wife as an accomplice in the UN bombing attempt, and she tells them that Crawford’s plan has something to do with a large oil pipeline that will run through Kambezi and Odan, two nations with a long and violent history whose leaders are sitting down for peace talks at the UN today. The land Crawford acquired from Bruyere borders both nations, so if the peace talks fail, the next logical place to locate the pipeline will be through Crawford’s property.

Kurt and Jane find the leaders of the two nations, but UN security protocols dictate that world leaders be brought to a prearranged safe house in an emergency under the care of the Secret Service. Of course, this is exactly what Roman was counting on, but Kurt and Jane can do nothing but accompany them to the hotel (and try to encourage a bit of world peace in the process). Patterson is trying to keep tabs on them via the hotel security system, but quickly figures out that Roman must have tapped into the security feed, a hunch that pans out a moment later when the feed in the service elevator goes out. She warns Kurt and Jane, who escape with the dignitaries before Roman and his henchmen--all disguised as secret service agents--arrive. She helps them navigate through the hotel to a room with a construction chute, where Kurt and Jane drop the two leaders down to Reade and Zapata before jumping out after them.

Back at the NYO, the team celebrates that, with the attempted bombing and assassinations, the US Attorney says they have enough to arrest Crawford--if they can find him, that is, in a country with extradition rights. Roman is still out there, but it finally seems like our team has gotten the upper hand. He is on the run, scrambling to salvage something from the defeat the team handed him today. And then the flood of tattoo hits stops abruptly (I guess even Bill Nye couldn’t fix the database alerts?), leaving only one tattoo clue remaining. A website that displays a newly-uploaded video of Roman. “One last game, sis. Winner take all.”

Cool. I’m cool. Not terrified at all.

Y: Everything is horribly terribly bad and nothing is okay. But then again, what else is new? We finally kind of understand why Crawford needed that land so desperately, and I think we can all sigh in relief that hopefully he will not get the pipeline running through it. I loved that Jane and Kurt managed to mediate a peace treaty while simultaneously stopping a terrorist attack on the UN, protecting two world leaders, and trying to stop Roman. Just another day at the office for those two.

I loved that we got to see Shepherd again, and I’m glad they made us wait this long. It’s quite appropriate that she comes in at episode 21, just like she did last season in episode 2.21 (aptly titled “Mom”), to break whatever affection was left between the siblings. Shepherd is by far one of the most complex characters on the show, and her ability to be a puppet master even while cuffed and chained in the interrogation room makes me shake and tremble with fear but also get giddy with excitement. And she did just that. She managed to rile up Kurt and mess with Jane’s head, and from the little hints we got from Keaton and Tasha, she’s obviously been giving them hell over at the CIA.

The flashback at the beginning of the episode is probably my favorite flashback we’ve seen in the show so far in how it tells us so much about Roman and Remi/Jane, basically summarizing their entire relationship and their characters and personalities in such a short scene. It was absolutely perfect and set up the rest of the episode. We saw these two re-enact the same dynamics all over again, and it shed so much light onto everything we’ve seen transpire between them in the past. It shows just how much Shepherd on the one hand messed up these children, but also how much she taught them. Roman’s plan, a recycled version of something he proposed to Shepherd before, shows so many signs of Shepherd’s handiwork in it and Shepherd’s “education.” Once again I go back to 2.21, but these parallels are great in terms of how Roman designs his plan--the misdirection, the nuances, the detail, the puppeteering. Unfortunately for him, this FBI team is just a little too good.

Last week, it seemed like our team was working through their kinks and finding their way to a new normal. And then this week came along and blew all of that out of the water. Are they managing to stay afloat?

Y: Can we just for a minute pretend there was no angst in the team and focus on the formidable duo of Patterson and Rich?

L: Yes, let’s start with the least problematic of these kids. Because Patterson is back on track, in her lab and in her personal life, and for someone who never gets to go home and sleep (you do know that’s not good for her, don’t you, Reade?), she still looks like a million bucks. How does she do it, and where can I get some of whatever she’s got??

Y: I don’t know how she does it. I go one sleepless night, and I need two weeks to recover! Also, I hope the FBI have decent overtime compensation. Between that and her Wizardville income, Patterson can retire at 35 and never look back.

But I have a feeling that Patterson might just love her job a little too much to leave. And I think this season, pairing up with Rich has made it that much more fun--even though I am sure she would never admit it out loud. But it must be fun to have someone in there who doesn’t just stare at her in confusion and ask her to speak English every time she has an idea or a lightbulb moment or needs to bounce ideas off someone.

Reade has always had Tasha as his partner and Weller has had Jane. And it has always been Patterson alone in the lab. Yes, she doesn’t need anyone with her because she’s just that good. But here is Rich, with rather similar skills but not in a way that makes either of them redundant and a personality that is so starkly unlike hers that make them such a perfect partnership--just like Tasha/Reade and Jane/Weller.

Whether it is Patterson and Rich completing each other’s sentences to solve a puzzle or come up with an answer or if it is just them bickering or bantering or teasing each other, it’s absolutely perfect. It puts a smile on my face every single time and makes me wish there was a way to have a show that is just 42 minutes of these two being nerds together.

I think having Rich there has helped Patterson a lot this season but more importantly, being a part of the team and being in the lab with Patterson has also helped Rich. The character growth we’ve seen from this once comedic relief guest character has been amazing--he’s grown as a person, and he’s found a team and a family he cares about and who care about him--and if he does not get a regular spot and a chair with his name on it next season then it would be a crime!

L: And I am just going to go right along with you flailing about what an amazing team Patterson and Rich make. I officially take back everything I ever said worrying that their skill sets might be too similar for them to both stay at the NYO. Okay, yes, Rich does have the “inappropriate comment generator” setting that Patterson lacks, and she has the “that would be highly illegal and therefore we should most definitely not do that” setting. So really, they complement each other perfectly, and I too hope the Wonder Twins sharing Patterson’s lab is a permanent thing next season!

Y: I guess we’re also going to have to talk about the less flail-inducing part of this week’s team developments, aren’t we? Can’t we just pretend that the episode ended after Reade tells the team they have enough to arrest Crawford and then everyone goes out for drinks and an early bath?

I hate how good these writers are at this--making you think a character has finally caught a break and then BAM! You’re back to fearing the absolute worst as you watch them stumble and fall face first into a pit of agony and suffering. We finally got to see Tasha getting back on track, rebuilding her relationships with both of her best friends and finding her place back in the team. And literally two minutes later, we’re all gathered around wondering, “What the hell just happened?”

L: Oh, man, Tasha. What the hell indeed!

First of all, I know Tasha can be a good actress, but she’s not that good. So I’m gonna take her word over Jake “I lie professionally about everything ever for the CIA” Keaton any day. So what the hell is he up to?? I mean, he can be kind of a jerk, but he’s generally been more helpful than not for the team. He went to a lot of trouble to recruit Tasha, and she’s certainly kept her share of secrets and carried out her share of dirty work for him. Why turn on her like that? We’ve seen example after example of the CIA hanging their operatives out to dry, so we kind of expected that this would be Tasha’s fate, but this seems rather an insignificant reason to destroy her career in law enforcement. Although Reade would clearly hire her back at the FBI, with such a tarnished reputation, she knows she would be more of a liability than an asset to the team.

It is far more likely to me that the entire scene was deliberately staged by Keaton. The whole matter was handled in a very public way to make sure that everyone around them was aware of Tasha’s disgrace and subsequent firing, so the CIA can show that she is no longer affiliated with them and so that no other law enforcement agency would employ her. And if the CIA later approached her for undercover work--dangling the promise of clearing her reputation--she would have no other choice but to agree. And if her cover gets blown, they can just disavow her, as they’ve done with every other agent who’s gotten into trouble. Such a plot would be totally Machiavellian, but also effective, so basically right in line with everything else we’ve seen the CIA do on this show. Bastards.

Y: While 90% of me wants to pin all this on Keaton and call him out for being an ass and doing this to Tasha, and also being happy that she’s done with the CIA and hoping she’d take the team up and rejoin her family, I know this show enough by now to know this all was probably staged. There have been many red flags about Tasha and her CIA commitment and a lot of questionable moments lately to make me seriously doubt Tasha right now. It is very possible that all this is part of a bigger plan for the CIA--who weren’t all too excited about this task force to begin with--to serve their own endgame and own interests. And despite all that, I do not doubt that Tasha was genuine in her heartbreak. If this indeed is all a ploy and trick by the CIA and if Tasha did go along, it does not mean it does not break her heart and pain her to do so, to betray her friends once again. But it would just be another situation where someone looks at their options and where they are--and let’s be real here, Tasha is still very far from being okay emotionally and in her relationships within the team--and realizes that maybe severing all ties and focusing on her career is the only real option she has.

L: I loved the scene between Tasha and Reade in the locker room. It was so perfectly in-character for both of them. Reade has come, slowly and cautiously, to a conclusion. (That’s why he gets the big office with the desk, right?) “Your feelings weren’t the problem,” he tells Tasha early on in the episode. He’s finally admitting what he’s denied all along, that he does have real, serious feelings for Tasha. And Tasha, true to her character, has run full-tilt into a wall, bounced off, and is now heading full-tilt in some other direction. Unfortunately, it’s not the same direction that Reade has finally turned. And the thing is, Tasha is trying so hard to do what’s right. Her reasoning is sound: Reade has just broken up with Meg, she’s just gotten fired from her job. Neither one of them are in the right place to start a relationship. And actually, maybe that explains why Tasha shows up at Reade’s later that night. The first time I saw the episode, her change of mind felt like a too-abrupt shift after her locker room speech. But just like Roman, Tasha hasn’t got anything left to lose, so it makes sense for her to grab on to whatever happiness she can. I really want to be happy for her and Reade, but I’ve seen this show before, so any moment of happiness they find will likely be followed by some sort of heartbreaking upheaval ten minutes later (not including commercial breaks).

Honestly, right now my wish for Tasha is that she survive to see season four. We can sort out the dumpster fire that is her life then, okay?

If Roman seemed like he was starting to crack last week, this week he seems to be flirting with total breakdown. But he still manages to keep the team on their toes and get away at the end of the day. How do his odds look against the team now?

L: Can we just start with Roman’s mysterious phone call? We know that he was talking with someone about his medical issues in a previous episode, and it seems like he’s talking with that same person again, describing his headaches and hallucinations. But at the end he says, “I just wish things could have been different. We could have just been a family.” Unless a new family member is about to appear out of the woodwork, the only members of Roman’s family that we know of are Jane, Shepherd, and Avery. I’m guessing the CIA isn’t giving Shepherd telephone privileges, so that leaves either Jane or Avery.

Avery seems like a serious possibility. We’ve commented before that she seems just a little bit too interested in the details of the FBI investigation for an innocent victim. And then there was the comment Roman made to Jane after she rescued Avery in Berlin, “You know, getting your daughter back might feel like a victory, but that will change. Enjoy it while it lasts.” We know Avery was obviously sympathetic to Roman when they were working together in Berlin and after Roman and Jane “rescued” her from her captors. If Avery has been working with Roman all along, it becomes much easier to understand why she went along with the plan to fake her death and pin it on Weller.

The other possibility is Jane, either knowingly (which would be kind of annoying, if she’s been lying to everyone all season) or unknowingly. We know that Roman had her in his custody long enough to add the new layer of tattoos. But who knows what else happened to her during that time? He could have also brainwashed her, a la Manchurian Candidate. (On a similar note, my husband started yelling when Jane went in to talk to Shepherd, “Don’t do it! What if Shepherd has some kind of trigger word?!”) Roman’s calls to Jane all season could have contained some sort of trigger or disguised instructions. On the one hand, this seems like exactly the sort of unexpected turn this show likes to take. (Damn you, Borden, we trusted you!) But on the other hand, if Roman does have this kind of advantage, how has the team been able to make headway against him lately? So I think my money is still on Avery. (This could also explain why the team seems to make the most progress when they are out in the field, when Avery is not with them and thus not able to warn Roman about their plans.)

I’ve also been really dwelling on this statement by Remi in the flashback sequence: “You’re only thinking about your next move. You’ve got to think about what I’m going to do next, too.” On the surface, this explains why Remi was always able to beat Roman in competition, and could be a bit of foreshadowing to suggest that Jane will ultimately triumph over Roman. But I think it also gives us another hint at the major difference between them. Jane’s ability to put herself into her opponent’s shoes stems from the same source as her compassion, her ability to deeply empathize with others. Roman may be able to feel love (such as his feelings for Blake), but he’s never really demonstrated a strong ability to empathize with her or with anyone else. It didn’t seem to occur to him that Blake would be worried about him; his conversation with her at the end of the episode only referred to his own feelings. Most of Roman’s issues with Jane over the past two seasons have also stemmed from his inability to understand her reasons for zipping his memory or choosing to stay with Kurt and the team. It’s hard to believe he could have mounted a plan like this to punish his sister and “make her bleed” if he’d been at all able to empathize with her.

Oh, Roman. You’re so broken. I’m simultaneously rooting for the team to stop you and hoping that you’ll emerge from all of this unharmed. Or at least, no more harmed than you already are. Mostly I just want to go back in time and find your younger self a loving, nurturing home.

Speaking of Blake, I have to admit that I really enjoyed the good cop/bad cop routine she and Roman gave the hotel manager. Or maybe it was nice cop/mean cop, since it was quickly made clear that Blake was just as capable of playing hardball as the boys. (Poor Edmund never had a chance against the two of them.) And while I loved seeing the spine she’s showing, I am finding it harder and harder to believe that she’s been truly fooled by Roman. She was quick to suspect that he had something to do with the attack at the hotel. She is clearly her father’s daughter, no matter how privileged and pampered she might have been, and I think she is every bit as capable of the same ruthlessness. (Roman might have been right on when he envisioned her stabbing him after finding out the truth about “Tom.”) I’m sure she will come face to face with Roman’s true identity in the finale, and I am not going to lie about how eagerly I am awaiting that moment!

But mostly I am just really, really worried about Roman. Because right now, he’s lost everything. His sister, his mother, Blake, Crawford’s trust, his grand plan... And Roman with nothing left to lose is dangerous to a degree that makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up.

Y: I’m sorry… I’ve been sitting here staring at my screen trying to come up with something smart to say but I just cannot do anything but reread L’s breakdown and nod (and maybe cry a little bit). Literally, what she said. Everything she said.

Just when you think you’ve understood something on this show, they shatter that illusion. We were okay with thinking Roman had been in contact with a doctor who’s been monitoring his situation and his health because the ZIP had been messing with his system. That had seemed nice and simple and logical. But then they throw in that “family” line, and I cannot sleep anymore. This show is not good for my health. Not good at all.

I agree that the options as to who he’s talking to are very limited and in both cases--Avery or Jane--things are very worrisome. If it’s Jane, like you said, it could either mean Jane’s been lying to the team all season or she’s under some mind control Manchurian candidate type thing or another, and that’s very not good. And if it is Avery then, dammit, why, kid? Why?? Either way, we’re going to suffer from terrible heartbreak and require a lot, and I mean a lot, of chocolate.

Poor Kurt. I mean, lots of guys have issues with their mother-in-law, but I think he wins the prize. He still manages to be the best, most supportive husband though, doesn’t he?

L: Shepherd may be a solid eleven on the ten-point creepy scale, but what’s always been the most scary about her is that she’s not wrong. Misguided and delusional? Sure. But she’s got a pretty good idea what makes people tick. And she’s had Kurt’s number for a long, long time. I loved her snarky little comment that Jane was “tailor-made” for Kurt. She’s already figured out that she’s talking to him because he will do just about anything to keep Jane from having to talk to her. “You’ve always had that protective streak in you,” she tells him, “ever since you were a little kid.” Her ploy works because Kurt isn’t just protective of Jane, he’s protective of anyone who might suffer as a result of Roman’s plan. “Lives are on the line,” Jane tells him when he tries to keep her from having to talk to Shepherd. And it’s the one point that he can’t argue with either mother or daughter.

But that doesn’t mean he has to like it. I have to admit, as much as I love how kickass Jane is, I also love how careful Kurt is with her. He’s never faulted her for not killing Roman when she let him walk away in DC. He’s never told her what to do, whether she could or should shoot Roman in cold blood. And frankly, I’m not entirely sure that Kurt could kill Roman either. He certainly has plenty of reason to, and we know he would gladly take that burden off Jane, as we saw in 2.21 when he told Jane to go after Shepherd and leave Roman for him. But at the same time, killing Jane’s brother could irreparably damage their marriage, if she’s as unable to get over her brother’s loss as she fears.

So really, I don’t envy either Jane or Kurt as this final showdown with Roman looms. There’s just no way this can possibly end well, is there?

Y: Have you watched this show? I think that is the only question that I can ever answer confidently. And the answer is a no from me. Sorry.

And I’ve been sitting here for like thirty minutes just staring at this after completing all the other sections, with just the Kurt part left, and all I can think is one thought. And no one ever say I can’t be brief ever again, because all I will say now is this: I love Kurt Weller, and I have loved every minute of his journey and his character arc.

As if dealing with her brother wasn’t enough, this week Jane also has to visit with her mother, the terrorist guest of the CIA. Good thing she has the support of her husband to depend upon, right?

L: Is it too soon to freak out about Jane’s headaches? Are they really caused by not sleeping? Or is she headed down the same ill-health path as Roman? She had a much bigger dose of ZIP than he did, if that is in fact the source of his issues. Yes, I am panicking here, because whatever is wrong with Roman isn’t at all good, and I am very very very very worried about our favorite tattooed ninja.

Remember last week, when we said that it was great to have Bill Nye on the show to provide a positive parenting example? This week Shepherd returned to show us just how damaging a bad parent can be. We jump twenty years into the past to see her pitting Roman and Remi--not long out of the orphanage at that point--against each other. Even though they are just playing mancala, she already has them referring to each other as “opponent” and “enemy.” No wonder they’ve spent so much of their adult lives trying to kill one another.

Y: Let’s talk about how appropriate the timing is to bring Shepherd back so close to Mother’s Day, huh? What a better way to celebrate than by bringing back such a poster-perfect mother figure! I think for the most part Jane handled her reunion with her mother quite well, considering how Shepherd loves to communicate through ominous threats and terrifying ambiguous punchlines.

And while Jane handled herself quite well with Shepherd and managed to once again take the points from Roman, I find myself--again at episode 21--worrying about all the Remi warnings. Last season, Jane worried that at some point, just like Roman, she would go back to being what she was before. And again this year, and this episode, brought back that possibility. With Shepherd’s warning about her connection to Roman and making Jane realize that it’s true, and then watching the events unfold and seeing how their dynamic is still very similar to young Roman and Remi and yes, even the end when Jane confidently says that she knows that she is not Remi and that she is Jane… to be honest, that is what worried me the most, because Jane is no longer worrying about reverting back to Remi and is confident in who she is.

Look, this show taught me to trust no one, especially the writers. So now, once they’ve had Jane reach this point in her character growth and development, it is the perfect moment to pull that rug out from under her.

I hate this show.

L: Ugh. I don’t like this idea, not one little bit, but I am very afraid that you’re right.

We’ve spent three seasons with Jane, watching her try to unravel the mysteries of her past. Trying to find out who she was, who she cared about, what things she valued. And many of those discoveries have been painful and created more questions than they answered.

In 3.13, Jane asked Nas to question Shepherd about Avery, but Nas refused, telling Jane, “The things she took from you, they were all to keep you from loving anyone but her. There’s no mystery. She just wanted to control you.” Which is exactly what Shepherd confirms for Jane during their visit. Avery, just like Roman, was someone that Jane loved and valued ahead of Shepherd, and so Shepherd came between them, just as she came between Remi and Roman. (And frankly, given how well Shepherd trained Roman, it’s no surprise he’s been so invested in making sure that he destroyed any bonds that Jane might have made with other people--Avery, Weller, the team.) Nas cautioned Jane, “You can’t live in the past, Jane. We’re better served putting all our efforts into what we can do now.” And it seems that Jane has finally learned that lesson herself. Ultimately, Jane doesn’t ask her mother anything about Avery. She gets the information she needs, and she walks away (in much the same way that Patterson walked away from Borden when he was being held in that same room, another nice parallel). Jane has finally reached a point where she can let her past go. She is no longer Remi. She tells Kurt that she can let go of Roman and move forward with the life she shares with Kurt.

So yes, now would be the perfect time to resurrect Remi’s memories--and her deep connection to Roman--and make Jane question everything that she’s learned about who she is and who she wants to be. Remi’s memories would force her to look into the past instead of toward the future she is ready to embrace. She would have to second guess every decision she’s made to date. (Mind you, I disagree with the suggestion I’ve seen from some fans that she will “become” Remi again. I think that would be far too simple. By superimposing Remi’s memories on top of Jane’s, she would be forced into instant conflict with herself. Jane can best any foe in combat, but how can she win if the foe is herself?)

Is there a limit to the number of times I can use the word “Machiavellian” in one review? These writers, they like to twist the knife, don’t they?

We finally see our favorite couple being, you know, a couple again, a seamless team, united against all threats. Can we flail loudly enough about this?

Y: Yes, yes, we can flail. And I have done nothing but flail for the past four days. But now, if I may, I’d also like to panic, is that okay? Because all these beautiful moments once viewed in parallel with all the Jane/Remi/Roman hints thrown into the episode just make me want to go hide and not come out until October.

L: Where this show is concerned, panicking is more of a perpetual state, is it not? It’s basically continuous panic, periodically punctuated by flailing. So by all means, let’s panic too.

Y: But first, let’s flail.

Jane and Kurt walking through SIOC with a “don’t fuck with us” look on their faces after spending all night interrogating Lynnette gives me life. I wish I could be an employee at that office because you know these two definitely have some sort of legendary status around the office and a secret fan club and I want to be there when people just stare at them in awe and talk about them around the water cooler.

The whole episode was just… quintessential Jeller. You know? The kind of Jeller we love and what we signed up for and what we’ve been missing for so long! We got to see them as part of this team, as badass agents out in the field, as a team helping the king and the president reach some sort of pseudo-agreement, as amazing friends, and we get to see them as partners in every single way, supportive of each other and protective of each other and of their team. And we get to see them as a couple, loving and caring and sweet in a strong and confident relationship, talking to each other, opening up, voicing their fears, leaning on one another and excuse me while I bring out the best flailing kermit gif I got and go crazy with the feels because JANE PUT KURT’S HAND ON HER HEART AND TOLD HIM HE’S HER OTHER HALF!

And now with that said, I have to admit that I have been losing sleep thinking of all the possible ways that the show will take all this from us and from them and make us suffer for months to come.

And yes, thank you NBC for renewing our show because we need more pain and suffering in our lives.

L: Yes, thank you, NBC, for keeping the chocolate industry going for another year.

Jeller holding hands and jumping out of a third-story window together might be one of my all-time favorite “pure Jeller” moments. It’s got love, partnership, commitment, trust, and an element of life-threatening danger. I think what I love most about them is that they always face whatever life (or the bad guy du jour) dishes out together. Even in the periods when they haven’t been together as a couple (early S2 and during their separation this season), they still formed an unbreakable and unbeatable team in the field. And yes, I think that Jane said it best when she said that Kurt is her other half. They are two halves of a whole, and while they are both formidable in their own right, the whole they make together is stronger than the sum of the two parts alone, whether it is Jane holding off Roman and his henchmen while Kurt helps the leaders of two nations escape, or Kurt just instinctively knowing that Jane was sending up red smoke last week to signal the team to move in. When it comes right down to it, it’s just bone-deep, unshakable trust.

And that’s why they’ve been able to get through all the hurdles in their way, both this season and in the previous two seasons. Because under it all, they trust each other absolutely. That trust is why they can forgive each other for all of their transgressions, and it’s why none of Roman’s plans to break them apart could ultimately succeed. Trust is a necessary element in any marriage, but the foundation of theirs is solid bedrock. And honestly, that’s why I am probably not as worried as I ought to be about what’s coming in the finale. Will it be scary and heartbreaking and likely to make me cry? I’m certain it will. But I believe that they will always rescue each other or die trying (and well, we’ve got season four, so I don’t think either of them will actually die), so I have faith in Jeller.

(Yes, I’ve seen the promo. But hush, I’m in my happy place right now. Lalala.)

I’m just really glad that the writers gave us back our happy place: Jeller being in love and together. And I’m thrilled, both looking back at what they’ve overcome this season, and looking forward to seeing them continue to beat the odds in season four!

The season finale is upon us. Any last minute fears, questions, concerns? Like: do we have enough chocolate? Is there such a thing as enough chocolate for this? Come panic in our inbox. The more, the merrier! --Laura & Yas

[spotifypremiumapks]

Who is Jenna Remy? Wiki, Biography, Age, Jerry Remy’s Son, Death

Jenna Remy Wiki - Jenna Remy Biography

Jenna Remy is the son of Jerry Remy, was an American professional baseball player and sports broadcaster. Remy played in Major League Baseball (MLB) as second baseman for ten seasons: three with the California Angels (1975–77) and seven with the Boston Red Sox (1978–84). After retiring from professional play, he served as a color commentator for Red Sox games televised on the New England Sports Network (NESN) from 1988 until his death. Remy also owned restaurants in the Boston area and wrote books on baseball. Remy was selected by the Washington Senators in the 19th round of the 1970 MLB draft but did not sign. He was then selected in the eighth round of the January supplemental phase of the 1971 MLB Draft (129 overall) by the California Angels, and signed with the team. Remy played four seasons in the Angels' farm system: 1971 with the Magic Valley Cowboys rookie league, 1972 with the Class A Stockton Ports, 1973 with the Class A Quad City Angels (.335, 4 homers, and 36 RBIs in 117 games), and 1974 with Double-A El Paso Diablos and Triple-A Salt Lake City Angels, where he hit a combined .323 with 4 home runs and 67 RBIs. Overall, Remy appeared in 421 games in the minor leagues, hitting .275 with 12 home runs and 152 RBIs.

Phoebe Remy & Jerry Remy

Remy and his wife Phoebe had three children, Jared, Jordan, and Jenna. Jared worked for the Red Sox as a security guard, but was fired in 2008 after another guard told the State Police that Jared had sold him steroids. On August 16, 2013, Jared was arrested in the fatal stabbing of his girlfriend, Jennifer Martel, a charge he pleaded guilty to on May 27, 2014. Jared Remy was sentenced to life in state prison without the possibility of parole. Jordan was selected by the Red Sox in the 49th round of the 1999 MLB draft, but he did not play professionally.

Jerry Remy Cause of Death

Jerry Remy, a veteran player and broadcaster for the Boston Red Sox, died Saturday night after a long battle with lung cancer, the team confirmed. Remy was 68 years old and would have turned 69 on November 8. Red Sox owner John Henry released the following statement regarding Remy's passing: We are saddened by the loss of a beloved player, broadcaster, and cancer fighter for 13 years. Jerry's love and connection to baseball allowed nothing to come between the game and him, including cancer for many years. He devoted his entire career to baseball and either from his seat in the clubhouse or from his position on the field in the broadcast booth, he took generations of rising Red Sox stars and a crowd of fans out for a ride with him. During his life, he witnessed great triumphs and terrible tragedies, handling everything with grace, dignity, and a great heart. He left an indelible mark on this club and on an entire nation of Red Sox fans. Remy was first diagnosed with cancer in 2008, and over the years several follow-up scans showed cancer had returned, most recently in 2018. He walked away from transmission on June 11 of this year as a precaution. after experiencing shortness of breath, and on August 4 announced a license to undergo cancer treatment. "A fun person and an amazing human being just left us," Red Sox legend David Ortiz said in a statement. "We're going to miss you bro. Thanks for calling me Big Papi on air, I'll never forget it. I miss you already, Rem Dawg." Red Sox manager Alex Cora also released a statement: Like everyone else in the Red Sox Nation today, I am absolutely devastated by Jerry's passing. I will miss all of our conversations about the game and just spending time together throughout the years, whether in the clubhouse or on the bench. Jerry was passionate about the Red Sox and although he had to walk away for treatment at the end of the season, he was with us every step of the way, especially in October. We stayed in touch almost every day and encouraged each other to keep fighting. It was great to see him at Fenway when we started our career; he was a source of inspiration for many of our players. My condolences to his wife, Phoebe, his children, and his grandchildren. We will miss you, Rem! "In baseball, he was a very, very hard worker. He became an outstanding player. He brought those same work habits into the broadcast booth," said Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski, Remy's former teammate. with the Red Sox, in a statement. statement. "We were a couple of lockers from each other, so we talked a lot. We became really good friends. This is a sad day." "Jerry Remy grew up in Massachusetts supporting the Red Sox and lived his dream as a beloved player and broadcaster with the team," the MLB Players Association said in a statement. "He forged a personal connection with Boston fans and inspired many with his fight against cancer. The Players Association joins Jerry's family, friends, and fans in grieving the loss of him." Read Also: Who is Nenobia Washington? Wiki, Biography, Age, Family, Cause of Death Read the full article

[youngerdrgrey]

might know my soul, but not much else // a queen sugar fic

/

about… Ideally, after the opening of the mill, Charley would’ve been clinking wine glasses with Remy in the barracks. Instead, she’s texting him, telling him, “The next time you want to hurt me, keep my father’s name out of your mouth.” — or, a response to 2x07, I Know My Soul

also, tumblr user @loco4scandal​ said, What about Remy siding with Rah on this will/farm & Charley feeling betrayed? I started filling this before 2x07 aired, but once I Know My Soul aired, I knew the prompt needed the weight and love of that episode too. SPOILERS through to 2x07 below.

+ on ao3

[Anyways, also, prompts are always welcome. Timelines are ambiguous. I have a lot of feelings. // feedback and critique definitely welcome]

.

.

.

you cannot remain a war between what you want to say (who you really are) and what you should say (who you pretend to be) your mouth was not designed to eat itself

— split, Nayyirah Waheed

+

“When you decided to buy this place and stand up for the farmers that made sense to me, ‘cause it was both smart and considerate of your community. It was thoughtful. But now I wonder if I misunderstood your father. Yeah, maybe, maybe thoughtful meant calculating.”

— Remy Newell

.

.

Charley circles her jaw twice before she sends the message. Her therapist likes to make pointed reminders about her channeling her aggression properly. She says that Charley needs to ease into conversations rather than coming in so hot that she scorches all hope at mending fences. But, if Remy had wanted a conversation, he should’ve known better than to come at her like that. He should’ve known better than to insult her in the same breath that he praises her. He just… he shouldn’t have wielded her father’s name as a weapon.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:12 pm) Charley: The next time you want to hurt me, keep my father’s name out of your mouth. You want to tell me how disappointed you are, or question my character? Do so directly. I have enough to deal with between Ralph Angel disparaging his legacy so just save me the mental gymnastics in the future, alright?

She sets her phone down on the table once it’s sent. Rests her hands on the wood too. Micah’s typing in his room; his laptop keys sound from over there. He types just about as fast as she can, though his comes from a sort of generational understanding of technology. He’s never known a world that couldn’t hear him. Never wanted for a space where he could both be heard and be invisible at the same time. He’s never wanted for much of anything.

At least, she remembers his life that way. Remembers huffing her cheeks to help him blow out his birthday candles. And whispering with him in movie theaters before he was old enough to know better. What will she remember from this time in his life? The silence? It’s not quite quiet though; there’s always noise in the barracks, just not aimed at her. It’s his laugh coming in from down the hall, or split seconds of his voice when he first gets on the phone and talks extra loud before he puts his headphones in. The FaceTime ringing for somebody else.

Her phone lights up with a speech bubble. Three dots blinking before they disappear. Remy composing his apology. Remy doesn’t understand how she could be anything other than cold if she is calculating. If she is thoughtful and deliberate, then where do emotions factor in? If she is the strong woman who needs no help, has no fears or doubts or pain, then why do the rest of them even exist?

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:13 pm) Remy: Honestly, Charley, I meant no disrespect. Not to you. Not to your father. I was just thinking aloud.

That’s it? He means no disrespect?

He chooses his words just as carefully as she does. He practically thinks in fully formed sentences and anecdotes. Yet, she’s calculating. Maybe he should keep his thoughts to himself.

Well, maybe not exactly. If he kept it all in, he’d just stop talking to her. Join the line of people who seek to find solace in someone else rather than ever actually bringing her in. Be like this new version of her son, or any version of the rest of her family. She and Nova didn’t start speaking again until they lived in the same state. Even then, even now, the honesty’s something Charley has to reach for. Strive to accept and acknowledge her own emotions without projecting them onto her sister. Assume kindness rather than an attack. Remy could deserve that same sort of opportunity.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:14 pm) Charley: Then why mention him at all?

Her father should’ve been proud of her. He was. She is an amazing business woman, a great mother to Micah through everything. Her daddy would’ve been proud of her, and for Remy to question that — to imply that she is somehow less than deserving of her father’s love is the very definition of disrespect.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:17 pm) Remy: Because he’s a part of this, Charley. At least to me. I started working with your family out of respect and love for him above all else. His stories about you convinced me that you could handle what all this work could do to you. But his stories also come from a different place than what it is that I’m seeing. He saw the victories, not the process. Seeing the whole picture is a little disconcerting, at times.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:20 pm) Charley: You knew before any of this that I wasn’t someone who could be steamrolled or short-changed. Yet now you’re acting like this is the first time you’re seeing me. Like you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:22 pm) Remy: Honestly, I don’t know if I did.

But he’d been there when Davis first came to NOLA and she ended her marriage. He’d been there when she fought with Nova during the hurricane. He’s been stood up for business deals and carted out to family dinners. Remy’s seen her at her most vulnerable and inconsistent. These decisions aren’t all that she is, but they are who she has to be. To get the job done. He had no problem with that when she decided to take a chance on his sugar cane. No problem when he got to officially sign on as a consultant and reap the benefits that entails.

Does he even know what the last few days have been like for her? Does he even want to?

To Remy Newell // Today (3:24 pm) Charley: What does this mean? Moving forward?

Professionally, he should appreciate having a contact who is willing to make the hard choices in order to do what’s best for the business. She cares about the farmers and their legacies and wants to offer them fair opportunities. She doesn’t want to give free passes and chances for people to walk all over her, but she will do her best to keep everything above board and honest. It’s more than she can say for her brother so, it’s something.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:26 pm) Remy: I don’t know if this is a conversation we should be having over text messages.

Personally, he’s seen her crumble at the loss of her life. He’s seen her claw her at every opportunity for failure until her hands shake. He’s seen her when she needs someone, and it’s still not enough.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:27 pm) Charley: This way, you can finish your thoughts and I can finish mine.

Maybe they’ll finish their whole relationship.

She settles back into her chair, pulls her legs up onto the cushion with her. Keys keep clicking in the background while the typing bubble animates on her screen.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:30 pm) Remy: Fine. It’s hard, Charley, knowing that you can leverage pretty much anything for the right price. How do I know that our whole relationship (because we do have a relationship whether or not it’s an official one) how do I know it’s not just another pawn to you?

Maybe they should be on the phone. She could let him hear the way her breath shatters before it can leave her lips. Let her jaw shift against the microphone as she struggles with the right way to form her response. Her chest folds in on itself. A pawn. For the last two decades, she’s cared about one man. One. And she’s loved him, been in love with him, and hasn’t wanted for anything else until Remy. But sure, he’s a pawn.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:31 pm) Charley: Why would it be? Because of Davis? Charley: What do I owe, Davis? What says that I have to still account for his feelings when he spent at least three years ignoring mine? Charley: The news of my divorce is mine to share when I see fit and how I see fit. Whatever is happening between us is a completely different conversation. All I can give you is my word, Remy, and if that’s not enough, I don’t know what else I can do.

If all he sees are the worst parts of her, then this will have to be it for them.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:33 pm) Remy: Not to be that guy, but I asked you to take my word yesterday and you refused.

She shakes her head.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:34 pm) Charley: That’s business.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:35 pm) Remy: What isn’t with you? Your divorce is business. Your family’s farm is business.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:36 pm) Charley: Ralph Angel’s* farm apparently

Not that he deserves it. Charley’s got two degrees, but Ralph Angel should have the farm.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:37 pm) Remy: Nobody said that

To Remy Newell // Today (3:38 pm) Charley: Apparently Daddy did. Ralph Angel showed us a letter that he says Daddy wrote, changing the will and leaving the whole farm to him. As if he could run it without my help.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:39 pm) Remy: Why couldn’t he run the farm alone? I mean, he needs more experience, sure, but he understands farming in a way that’s part training and just part instinct.

She almost swipes into a phone call the second she reads that.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:40 pm) Charley: You can’t be serious

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:41 pm) Remy: Why can’t I be serious?

To Remy Newell // Today (3:42 pm) Charley: Ralph Angel can barely take care of himself, let alone eight hundred acres.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:43 pm) Remy: I thought you were passed this

To Remy Newell // Today (3:44 pm) Charley: He nearly loses the farm every time he’s left to his own devices, but I’m supposed to trust that he won’t ruin our family's legacy? He barely got approved for that young farmers loan. There’s only cane in the ground because I could pay for it and because you lent it to us.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:46 pm) Remy: He’s doing better than a lot of other farmers when they got their starts. Your brother has a gift for this work, and the sooner you all actually allow him to do it, the better you’ll all be for it.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:47 pm) Charley: Oh that’s what you think?

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:47 pm) Remy: That’s what I said, isn’t it? Remy: The tone, I’m sorry

To Remy Newell // Today (3:49 pm) Charley: Don’t be. Honesty’s what we need right now. If everyone would just stay honest, we wouldn’t even be in this mess.

She could have her feet wading in her pool, eyes set to the mountains.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:49 pm) Remy: Which mess?

To Remy Newell // Today (3:51 pm) Charley: Any of it. I’m only here because of Daddy’s farm. If I’d known it wasn’t mine, I would’ve stayed in LA with Micah. But instead I got sucked into this world. Your world

No speech bubbles pop up for a whole minute. First time the screen goes static in the whole of the conversation.

It is his world. He lives this farming business just as much as Ralph Angel, even if Remy’s more on the academic side of it all. He bred his own type of cane for christ’s sake.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:53 pm) Remy: Now you regret staying down here?

She sinks into her seat before it feels too stagnant, too much like giving in. She’s not giving in. She doesn’t — She sits up.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:55 pm) Charley: I regret trusting Ralph Angel not to make everything about him. I regret not speaking out sooner about my own needs in this family. I regret not being there when my father needed me and winding up with nothing but this

She hits send too soon. Mid-phrase means he’ll build his own end to that sentence. She barely has an end herself. If she hadn’t left LA, she’d be dodging questions from fake friends who want to know what comes next for her and for Davis. He’d been suspended, so he probably would’ve gone to New York with Felix. Lena would be there too, probably actively fighting for her reality show to still happen. Micah wouldn’t have an easy time getting into another school, but they would’ve figured it out. Or simply fought to keep him where he started. Micah never would’ve had a run in with the police. Charley never would’ve moved into the barracks, or spent so much time at Violet’s house. Couldn’t’ve offered Darla a new job or any professional advice. Honestly, Charley wouldn’t have really gotten a chance to know Darla at all. Or Hollywood. Or Blue.

Staying down south might not be the issue. Staying silent might be.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (3:57 pm) Remy: “but this” ? Remy: Charley just because you can’t get your way doesn’t mean you storm off and take your money with you. You’ve pledged your support to your brother and all of these farmers.

To Remy Newell // Today (3:59 pm) Charley: I’m not going anywhere.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (4:00 pm) Remy: But you want to

Every word she doesn’t say hammers at the inside of her ribcage. She types so fast her nails practically scratch her screen. Her lips move with the words, voice rising as she goes.

To Remy Newell // Today (4:02 pm) Charley: I want a choice! I want to get a say in what happens rather than getting sucked into helping everyone else. I’ve said it before, I could sign a check from anywhere. I thought aht for once, we could do something together, as a family. But Ralph Angel decided he doesn’t want the rest of us around anymore.

Nevermind the fact that without her, he could be in jail right now for having Daddy’s gun in the house. Blue would be right back at Vi’s. Or at the trailer park with Darla. The farm would go untended. The whole Bordelon legacy wiped out just like that.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (4:03 pm) Remy: When have you ever taken what he said at face value rather than questioning it?

She didn’t fight him on the white flies.

Remy: You never consult. Never ask for permission. You tell people what’s up after you’ve already done it.

To Remy Newell // Today (4:05 pm) Charley: He’s the one who lied to all of us.

To Charley Bordelon // Today (4:06 pm) Remy: God Charley who raised you to see every omission as a lie?

“Everyone!” Her lips crack when she speaks. Throat croaks. She sets her phone down on the table, but her fingers pulse without the screen beneath them. She tries scanning the barracks for some sort of peace. A few breaths could get her pulse back down. But it’s just — he’s asking about omission, but wasn’t he mad about her omission? Wasn’t he — you know what, he wants to talk, then they can talk.

She hits the information button and the call symbol. Forces herself to take three breaths before she puts the phone to her ear.

“Charley—“

“You just finished snapping at me for omission, you get that, right? For not sharing my plans, I am calculating. And stubborn. And in the wrong. But when Ralph Angel does it, it’s just a little misstep. Am I hearing you correctly?”

“Charley—“

“Am I?”

“I’m not trying to fight, Charley.”

“Well, a fight’s what you got.” What else can she do but scream until someone hears her? “God. I don’t get it. I honestly don’t understand what I have to do to get anyone in this family to even look at my side. The only one who even tries is Violet.”

“I’m trying.”

“You’re accusing.”

“No, I’m not. I asked. In your office, I asked how the same woman using her divorce to further her business plans is the same one who-who I heard about for years. I wasn’t accusing you of anything. I’m trying to understand you, Charley, and you are making so damn hard to do it.” He huffs. “I have never known anyone like you. But I want to.”

She’s spent the last two days begging for someone to listen. Or not listen, during the whole choke fiasco. He saw that, right? He sees more than any of them give him credit for.

She shifts lower in her seat, so she can rest her head against the back of it. He says he wants to know her. “I never thought anyone liked me down here. I was always too California for New Orleans, so I always had to be the best so they wouldn’t ignore me. Be smarter than the rest of my family. More put together. Early acceptance into college, a future NBA player for a boyfriend, and even when I had Micah, I nearly killed myself trying not to be another young mother cliche.”

But college is hard enough without a newborn, so then came needing help. Needing professional help, not just what she could get from friends and the other basketball wives. Davis’s money went straight to childcare costs and living costs and textbooks that her slipping scholarships wouldn’t pay for. But she didn’t falter. She just found a way to make it through. Now here she is, tired but here.

“You made it,” Remy says.

She nods. “I did.” She can’t hear the keys anymore. Micah’s probably watching something at this point. “But Daddy still left the farm to Rah. And I don’t want to say anything bad about him. He loved me so much. He never let me forget it, but…. I made him a promise, and for the first time, I’m wondering if he even cares.”

“What was the promise?”

Her throat itches. She swallows around it. Circles her jaw. “To make things right.” But fixing everything for the farmers doesn’t mean everything’s okay. She’s not. Her family’s not. Rah and Nova haven’t been in bad shape since he first got out, and even then, they just swept it away as best they could. They never unpacked all of that. And if he’s mad at Nova for not being around, then he must be furious at her. And Micah….

He watches her sometimes like he’s trying to see which one of them will break first. Like if he starts talking about his own weaknesses, then she’ll have to do the same, and then they’ll never stop. Like he’ll cry so much that she’ll cry right with him. He’s not wrong, just not ready, she guesses. Not ready to talk about people who can’t see their humanity or why the Range smelled like urine for days.

Remy says, “You don’t have to do it all. Nobody’s asking you to be perfect but yourself.”

She laughs, despite herself. Light wrestling its way out of her chest. “My, uh, my therapist said the same thing.”

He laughs too. “Maybe I’ll add therapist to my resume. I’ll be an irrigation specialist, a professor—“

She nods into the familiar rhythm. “You cut hair.”

“I make a mean pie.”

“And a great friend.” She picks at the polish on her nails. She should probably apologize, for snapping, even if he had crossed the line with his story. If they’re ever going to have anything, they have to be able to communicate freely. Without fear that every sentence, or action, that the other disapproves of will mean the end of what they’re trying to start up. “I—“

Her phone buzzes against her ear. She pulls it back to read it.

To Mom (Charley Bordelon) // Today (4:15 pm) Micah: Wanna try out the ice cream maker?

“You…?” Remy prompts.

She blinks back to the moment, brings the phone back to her ear. “Sorry, text from Micah.” It’s so easy to make simple apologies. For a missed moment, or overreaching, but for actually hurting someone? “He wants to make ice cream.”

Remy gives a tiny groan. “Homemade’s always the best. Go. We can talk later.”

Once this conversation ends, though, so does the honesty. “You can’t question my character every time I make a choice you don’t like. You can’t use my father against me. You can’t side with Ralph Angel and expect me to just be okay with it.”

He clicks his tongue. “You can’t just kick me out when you don’t want to talk. You can’t shoot down valid business ideas without an explanation. You can’t expect me to choose your ideas just because they come from you.”

But she has good ideas. And her explanation for shooting him down was reasonable and necessary with the drama going on at Vi’s. And if they’d stayed in her office, she probably would’ve said something she couldn’t take back.

“That’s asking for a lot,” she says.

“So were you.”

“I’ll think it over.” She lets her feet down to the ground again.

“There you go being thoughtful again.” He drums on something on his end — knuckles to a desk maybe. "Tell Micah hi for me.”

“Will do. Bye, Remy.” She waits for his goodbye before clicking off the line. Takes another beat before calling out, “Remy says hi!”

Micah shuffles over without missing a beat. “That’s nice of him.” Charley hums rather than responding. Micah’s shoulders hunch, his ear are a little too red, so he must’ve been listening in. She didn’t say much out loud that she wouldn’t have wanted him to hear. Still, he should know better than to eavesdrop. He glances over at her though. “Are you two okay? I know you work together, so I wouldn’t want it to get weird.”

Oh. Micah stands up straighter, chest open for a second. Was he worried about her?

She swoops out of her seat. “We’re good. There’s just a lot to figure out with the farm and everything.” Micah doesn’t move, so she forces up a smile. “And what if we weren’t? You gonna fight him?”

Micah rolls his eyes. “Yeah, Mom. That’s the plan.”

She gasps. Rushes across the kitchen to him. “You wouldn’t fight for me?”

He ducks his head. “I’d be so bad. You need someone to fight for you get Ra—“ His grin slips the same time hers goes wooden. Rah’s the main one she’d need somebody to fight. “Just don’t get any fights, Mom. Come on, I want to see how this thing works.”

He heads to the cabinets to get the box down. She follows, watches him take it down and unpack the ice cream maker. She doesn’t have to be perfect. She doesn’t have to do it all. She doesn’t have to be right.

“Clean it first,” she tells him.

“I’m going.”

She doesn’t have to be perfect. She doesn’t have to be right. With help, maybe she can do it all.

.

.

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notes: tell me what you’re thinking, be it about the fic, or the show, or the fact that the midseason finale is about to air and put us on hiatus again...