#BUT EXPRESSED NIHILISTICALLY RATHER THAN AS A THING OF BEAUTY

[ouroborosorder]

I don't want to jump the gun because the official lyrics haven't been released, but just from what lyrics I CAN pick out, Bedman?'s theme is going to emotionally devastate the fuck out of me

[swallowerofdharma]

Yashiro’s Cruel God part four

There are probably brilliant analyses out there about the first part of this manga and what I say might as well be just an uninteresting repetition. But we analyze things for ourselves first, to understand them better, to make sense of a story for ourselves, so I’ll give it a try anyway.

Continuing my thoughts on Doumeki and another digression: You’ll be fine. I’m a man and you’re different from your father, right?

If there hasn’t already been a tension within Yashiro between his nihilistic tendencies and his yearning for change, the story wouldn’t be possible. If Don’t Stay Gold is the original one-shot where Yashiro appeared as a background character, when Saezuru begins that some story is repurposed masterfully as a critical starting point for a Yashiro that is now a main character: This setup would become nothing more than a knife that gets thrown right back at me. You can already see this is going to be brilliant writing. When Doumeki was introduced, Yashiro had to be at a point where he was ready to let go of Kageyama, but - at same time - the fact that he had wished for them to be more than friends, that this was something he had remained open to, despite his past and despite his failures, was essential to show a believable story of him falling in love with someone else. What about Doumeki then? I have been asking myself, what are Doumeki’s motivations for being so persistent?

Yashiro is captivated immediately by Doumeki’s eyes, he makes a comment about it and later, in chapter 4, Yoneda captivates the readers too with a beautiful page with no words that isolates Doumeki’s eyes in the rear view mirror of the car, while his gaze is focused on a melancholic Yashiro. The previous sequence, at Kageyama’s clinic, was in large part framed coherently with Doumeki’s point of view as he witnessed for the first time Yashiro interacting with his doctor friend. In chapter 23 Yashiro realizes something unexpected about Doumeki. The English translations of this dialogue varied, I’ll reference here the official translation: The truth is, we’re not similar, at all. From the beginning you were always different. That’s why you look at me like that. With different eyes than his. Yashiro’s expression here is fearful and lost, because he only had those few points of reference, and those he cared for most were his parents who had abandoned him and Kageyama who had rejected him.

After Yashiro was injured on Doumeki’s watch, Nanahara orders him to cut his finger off. Needing medical attention, he goes to Kageyama and tells him about what happened. The doctor’s reaction here is so cold and heartless that if at this point you care for Yashiro at all you can’t help feeling really hurt hearing his words.

The source of Kageyama’s cruelty is his ignorance. He doesn’t know Yashiro well or rather he has built a static image of him and he can’t shake it; he constantly shows how shortsighted he is when it comes to his supposed best friend. And I remember reading people’s thoughts about the symbolism of the contact lens that Yashiro stole, so I think that was sufficiently discussed. I’ll add my two cents to this topic, because I find it interesting the detail of Kageyama being the son of a doctor and becoming one as well, not a very good one he said himself. When his classmate Yashiro told him - in that awkward and nonchalant way of his, another product of the distorted reality that his parents left him with - about the abuse he had endured from his stepfather, Kageyama stops touching him, doesn’t get closer anymore. I think that in his mind, because he had already internalized attitudes that come from medical practice just from his father, in that moment Yashiro stopped being someone he could touch because he became a “case of child abuse”, someone he needed to emotionally distance himself from. I wonder if there are readers doing the same. When Yashiro goes to his father’s wake, Kageyama is happy to see him there, that his classmate cared, but later Yashiro, so unaccustomed to his new delicate feelings, fumbles badly for the right words and any potential connection falls flat. Yashiro didn’t really need confirmation that Kageyama wasn’t straight, he had understood that much, or that the reason he was rejected had to be a different story. Kageyama’s shortcomings now and later are tied to his inability to perceive Yashiro as a full person, capable of yearning, of changing, of suffering from something else rather than the obvious. Yashiro becomes a “mental case” and the good doctor can’t do anything much about it, since it isn’t his specialty. He’ll stay as a friend, but unkind. And when Doumeki discovers that the only person Yashiro is attached to could be so unsympathetic to him, he is angry. Doumeki doesn’t confront Kageyama, for Yashiro’s sake, mostly, for reasons of hierarchy and responsibility, he needs to treat respectfully someone who is on equal standing with his boss. The ones who confront Kageyama are Kuga and Nanahara and it works: when Yashiro brings Ryuuzaki’s girlfriend to the clinic, Kageyama’s perception of him has changed and readjusted.

Doumeki could see glimpses of Yashiro’s yearning, of Yashiro’s love, and he is still determined to see it through now as he was before. He won’t let go or accept lies from Yashiro and about Yashiro. Doumeki isn’t just foolishly in love and enduring everything that comes with it, he wants to know. His motives are layered with the stubbornness that comes with detective work, after what happened between them in chapter 25, he wants to confirm that Yashiro reciprocated his feelings, because he also needs to prove himself that he isn’t a rapist, he isn’t just like his father. He fully committed to it. Only if we acknowledge our selfish reasons, we can really be honest about our feelings, about how we open ourselves to others, how we want them, and all the things we want from them. Yashiro and Doumeki aren’t letting go of their feelings in part because they need a confirmation that they are good enough. And that’s why this story surpasses the romantic premises about love and makes sense from a very down to earth, realistic perspective of how grown men behave, too.

We established that Doumeki is someone who was looking closely at Yashiro since the beginning and won’t stop looking for the truth until he is satisfied. The root causes of his conviction and commitment are various but ultimately go back to his sense of failure regarding Aoi. He aimed to be and became a policeman and failed to see something that was right under his eyes. To be continued…

[blueopinions49]

Understanding type 4 PT 1

An intro to enneagram 4

Lady Bird ENFP 4w3 sx/so

Core desire- Having an AUTHENTIC identity which suits their inner world. Looking for depth. Focusing in being unique and special 

Vice (Envy)-What I lack that others might have 

Fixation (Melancholy)- The look for authenticity and potential

Wings 

4w3 (The Enthusiast)-They wanna market their inner sandness to others. Often looked at as beautiful and Sad in their uniqueness. Might create an image of sadness (even if it isnt there). Doesnt have as much exetentialism as a 4w5. Might have goals and find ways to accomplish them. Will try to modulate themselves like a type 2 or 3 but won't enjoy it as much do to the feeling on inauthenticity. Will care about likability. 

4w5 (The Free Spirit)-Unlike the 4w3 they dont care about marketing their sadness and such but rather hide it away. Will be more nihilistic than the 4w3 and will go into pits of despair. Will be more authentic and less socially outgoing. Not as interested in outer perception compared to other image types. Will often focus on concepts more than emotional pickiness. 

Triad-Image triad (2-3-4)

As an image type the enneagram 4 will concern itself with MARKETING itself. The 3 markets themselves as ANY form of success. The enneagram 2 through likability and lovability. The enneagram 4 on the other hand will play up sadness and difference. They crave UNIQUE AUTHENTICITY. 

Harmonic Triad- Reactive Triad (4-6-8)

Will react emotionally to things in a self absorbed and subjective manner. To them expressing emotions like: Disdain, hate and behaviors they disagree with is authentic to them.  

Hornevian triad-Withdrawn Triad (4-5-9)

Looking to separate themselves from others due to their uniqueness.

Object Relations-Frustration (1-4-7)

Every external factor is shallow and unimportant on their eyes. 

Subtypes 

Social (so)- Willl Market their Sadness to gain support will play the victim and indulge in their inner sadness. Constantly comparing the mselves to others. Will share their sadness and melancholy with others and will see themselves as inferior no matter what. Focuses on not trying to feel guilty for having wishes and desires. Helplessness is their addiction. 

Ex- Annie Shirley (Annie with an E) ENFP 4w3 so/sx, Diane Nguyen (Bo Jack) INFJ 4w5 so/sx and Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl) INFJ 4w5 so/sp 

Sexual (sx)-While the social type market their sadness this subtype markets their rage and anger. Since the sx subtype is focused on INTERPERSONAL relationships they will “punish” those who disappoint them. They will be more open about their anger and will often look like 8s. They often crave emotional attachment due to their inner envy and seek to “punish” those due to projection. 

Zuko ISFP 4w3 sx/sp,  Kylo Ren INFP 4w3 sx/sp and Gaara (Naruto) INFP 4w5 sx/sp

Self preservation (sp)-Unlike the others 4s who over indulge��I their sadness and rage this 4s hide it and may look happy. The sp type of 4 doesnt concern themselves with overindulging in that sentimentality unlike the previous types. They'll correct their behavior If necessary. Can be curious and interested in finding new ways of doing things. 

Belle (Beauty and the beast) INFP 4w5 sp/so, Ellio Perlman (Call me By your Name) INFP 4w5 sp/sx and Estella (Cruella) ENFP 4w3 sp/so

Movements (Postive and Negatives)

Movements to 1

Postive- Turns into discipline instead of emotional outbursts and not letting them control their life. They learn that getting things done and being practical comes from a place of level headedness. Starts leading life through morals instead of emotional impulse. 

Negative-Turns into an overly picky and critical of everything. No one can do any right in their eyes. Condescending preaching to others what to do. Dissapointed constantly for no one being on the level they want. 

Movements to 2

Positive-Starts focusing on the outer world more and starts looking doing the best for others. 

Negative-Turns into a clingy persona and might become manipulative to gain others company. 

[continuations]

The World After Capital in 64 Theses

Over the weekend I tweeted out a summary of my book The World After Capital in 64 theses. Here they are in one place:

The Industrial Age is 20+ years past its expiration date, following a long decline that started in the 1970s.

Mainstream politicians have propped up the Industrial Age through incremental reforms that are simply pushing out the inevitable collapse.

The lack of a positive vision for what comes after the Industrial Age has created a narrative vacuum exploited by nihilist forces such as Trump and ISIS.

The failure to enact radical changes is based on vastly underestimating the importance of digital technology, which is not simply another set of Industrial Age machines.

Digital technology has two unique characteristics not found in any prior human technology: zero marginal cost and universality of computation.

Our existing approaches to regulation of markets, dissemination of information, education and more are based on the no longer valid assumption of positive marginal cost.

Our beliefs about the role of labor in production and work as a source of purpose are incompatible with the ability of computers to carry out ever more sophisticated computations (and to do so ultimately at zero marginal cost).

Digital technology represents as profound a shift in human capabilities as the invention of agriculture and the discovery of science, each of which resulted in a new age for humanity.

The two prior transitions, from the Forager Age to the Agrarian Age and from the Agrarian Age to the Industrial Age resulted in humanity changing almost everything about how individuals live and societies function, including changes in religion.

Inventing the next age, will require nothing short of changing everything yet again.

We can, if we make the right choices now, set ourselves on a path to the Knowledge Age which will allow humanity to overcome the climate crisis and to broadly enjoy the benefits of automation.

Choosing a path into the future requires understanding the nature of the transition we are facing and coming to terms with what it means to be human.

New technology enlarges the “space of the possible,” which then contains both good and bad outcomes. This has been true starting from the earliest human technology: fire can be used to cook and heat, but also to wage war.

Technological breakthroughs shift the binding constraint. For foraging tribes it was food. For agrarian societies it was arable land. Industrial countries were constrained by how much physical capital (machines, factories, railroads, etc.) they could produce.

Today humanity is no longer constrained by capital, but by attention.

We are facing a crisis of attention. We are not paying enough attention to profound challenges, such as “what is our purpose?” and “how do we overcome the climate crisis?”

Attention is to time as velocity is to speed: attention is what we direct our minds to during a time period. We cannot go back and change what we paid attention to. If we are poorly prepared for a crisis it is because of how we have allocated our attention in the past.

We have enough capital to meet our individual and collective needs, as long as we are clear about the difference between needs and wants.

Our needs can be met despite the population explosion because of the amazing technological progress we have made and because population growth is slowing down everywhere with peak population in sight.

Industrial Age society, however, has intentionally led us down a path of confusing our unlimited wants with our modest needs, as well as specific solutions (e.g. individually owned cars) with needs (e.g. transportation).

The confusion of wants with needs keeps much of our attention trapped in the “job loop”: we work so that we can buy goods and services, which are produced by other people also working.

The job loop was once beneficial, when combined with markets and entrepreneurship, it resulted in much of the innovation that we now take for granted.

Now, however, we can and should apply as much automation as we can muster to free human attention from the “job loop” so that it can participate in the “knowledge loop” instead: learn, create, and share.

Digital technology can be used to vastly accelerate the knowledge loop, as can be seen from early successes, such as Wikipedia and open access scientific publications.

Much of digital technology is being used to hog human attention into systems such as Facebook, Twitter and others that engage in the business of reselling attention,  commonly known as advertising. Most of what is advertised is  furthering wants and reinforces the job loop.

The success of market-based capitalism is that capital is no longer our binding constraint. But markets cannot be used for allocating attention due to missing prices.

Prices do not and cannot exist for what we most need to pay attention to. Price formation requires supply and demand, which don't exist for finding purpose in life, overcoming the climate crisis, conducting fundamental research, or engineering an asteroid defense.

We must use the capabilities of digital technology so that we can freely allocate human attention.

We can do so by enhancing economic, information, and psychological freedom.

Economic freedom means allowing people to opt out of the job loop by providing them with a universal basic income (UBI).

Informational freedom means empowering people to control computation and thus information access, creation and sharing.

Psychological freedom means developing mindfulness practices that allow people to direct their attention in the face of a myriad distractions.

UBI is affordable today exactly because we have digital technology that allows us to drive down the cost of producing goods and services through automation.

UBI is the cornerstone of a new social contract for the Knowledge Age, much as pensions and health insurance were for the Industrial Age.

Paid jobs are not a source of purpose for humans in and of themselves. Doing something meaningful is. We will never run out of meaningful things to do.

We need one global internet without artificial geographic boundaries or fast and slow lanes for different types of content.

Copyright and patent laws must be curtailed to facilitate easier creation and sharing of derivative works.

Large systems such as Facebook, Amazon, Google, etc. must be mandated to be fully programmable to diminish their power and permit innovation to take place on top of the capabilities they have created.

In the longrun privacy is incompatible with technological progress. Providing strong privacy assurances can only be accomplished via controlled computation. Innovation will always grow our ability to destroy faster than our ability to build due to entropy.

We must put more effort into protecting individuals from what can happen to them if their data winds up leaked, rather than trying to protect the data at the expense of innovation and transparency.

Our brains evolved in an environment where seeing a cat meant there was a cat. Now the internet can show us an infinity of cats. We can thus be forever distracted.

It is easier for us to form snap judgments and have quick emotional reactions than to engage our critical thinking facilities.

Our attention is readily hijacked by systems designed to exploit these evolutionarily engrained features of our brains.

We can use mindfulness practices, such as conscious breathing or meditation to take back and maintain control of our attention.

As we increase economic, informational and psychological freedom, we also require values that guide our actions and the allocation of our attention.

We should embrace a renewed humanism as the source of our values.

There is an objective basis for humanism. Only humans have developed knowledge in the form of books and works of art that transcend both time and space.

Knowledge is the source of humanity’s great power. And with great power comes great responsibility.

Humans need to support each other in solidarity, irrespective of such differences as gender, race or nationality.

We are all unique, and we should celebrate these differences. They are beautiful and an integral part of our humanity.

Because only humans have the power of knowledge, we are responsible for other species. For example, we are responsible for whales, rather than the other way round.

When we see something that could be improved, we need to have the ability to express that. Individuals, companies and societies that do not allow criticism become stagnant and will ultimately fail.

Beyond criticism, the major mode for improvement is to create new ideas, products and art. Without ongoing innovation, systems become stagnant and start to decay.

We need to believe that problems can be solved, that progress can be achieved. Without optimism we will stop trying, and problems like the climate crisis will go unsolved threatening human extinction.

If we succeed with the transition to the Knowledge Age, we can tackle extraordinary opportunities ahead for humanity, such as restoring wildlife habitats here on earth and exploring space.

We can and should each contribute to leaving the Industrial Age behind and bringing about the Knowledge Age.

We start by developing our own mindfulness practice and helping others do so.

We tackle the climate crisis through activism demanding government regulation, through research into new solutions, and through entrepreneurship deploying working technologies.

We defend democracy from attempts to push towards authoritarian forms of government.

We foster decentralization through supporting localism, building up mutual aid, participating in decentralized systems (crypto and otherwise).

We promote humanism and live in accordance with humanist values.

We recognize that we are on the threshold of both transhumans (augmented humans) and neohumans (robots and artificial intelligences).

We continue on our epic human journey while marveling at (and worrying about) our aloneness in the universe.

We act boldly and with urgency, because humanity’s future depends on a successful transition to the Knowledge Age.

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Wizard City’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 4)

Airdate: September 2, 2021

Story by: Adam Muto, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang, Hanna K. Nyström, & Charley Feldman

Storyboarded by: Maya Petersen, Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, & Aleks Sennwald, & Haewon Lee

Directed by: Miki Brewster & Jeff Liu (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

An episode focusing on Peppermint Butler’s dark side is something that the fandom has craved ever since the little guy demanded Finn and Jake’s flesh in season two’s “Death in Bloom.” While installments like season five’s “The Suitor” and season six’s “Nemesis” did much to scratch that itch, the story of the Dark One remained mostly unknown…

And after “Wizard City,” it still remains largely unknown. But that’s OK, because instead of focusing on the character’s history, this special focuses on Peps’ quest to relearn magic at a magic school. Put most simply, this special is largely a fun excuse for the show to riff on Harry Potter and The Owl House-style “magic school hijinks,” and it mostly all works.

The special follows Peps quest to go to WizArts (a definite play on CalArts, the school that Pen Ward and Adam Muto, among many others, went to) so that he can relearn magic and once again become one of the greatest dark wizards of his time. Initially, Peps tries to make friends with cool kid Spader and his posse, but once they learn that Peps is not as talented at magic as they had initially thought, they kick him to the curb. It is at this point that Cadebra, Abracadaniel’s adorkable niece who is fascinated with stage magic, enters the picture. Cadebra tries everything in her power to befriend Peps, but Peps pushes back, since she’s not “cool.” It does not matter, though, because both Peps and Cadebra are sorted into the same “house”—the “Skink House—and are forced to work together.

While Peps and his cohort begin learning more and more complex magic, a secret cult of school professors, led by the otherwise caring Dr. Caledonius, are scheming to resurrect Coconteppi, a powerful dark wizard whose putrid heart has been discovered underneath the school excreting a very powerful ichor. The school cult kidnaps Spader and gives him some of the ichor to drink; they hope that because of his talent, he will be able to house the spirit of Coconteppi. This does not go as planned, and Spader is graphically killed (albeit off screen). (In a more humorous moment, Bufo, the scam wizard from season one’s “Wizard,” also ingests some of the ichor, believing himself powerful enough to handle it, but it kills him.)

Eventually Peps and Cadebra learn what is going on. Dr. Caledonius welcomes Peps, believing that he is strong enough to handle the ichor. When Cadebra’s life is put in danger, Peps reluctantly gives the putrid fluid a swig, which infuses him with the power of Coconteppi. Coconteppi-Peps then kills all the cult members before Cadebra manages to remove the ichor from Peps body. For uncovering a heinous plot, Peps is promoted to the highest house, “Salamander,” but he decides to remain a Skink and learn magic “the hard way” with Cadebra as his friend.

As I mentioned near the start of this review, “Wizard City” spends most of its time riffing on the “magic boarding school” trope, with much of the episode feeling like a light-hearted parody of Harry Potter: The characters, after all, are “sorted” into “houses,” they learn various types of magic from skilled “professors,” and they bunk in different parts of a large castle-like campus. Of course, Harry Potter didn’t invent the idea of a boarding school, but when setting your story in a school for magic, it is very hard not to lean at least somewhat into the Hogwarts relation. And this really is a double-edged sword, for while Harry Potter references can be fun here and there, they can also make the overall story feel like a fanfic parody. This special does a good job focusing more so on the characters rather than the setting, but I won’t lie, at times it did feel as if they show was really trying to make you realize it was making a Harry Potter joke.

Of all the characters introduced in the special, the breakout star is easily Cadebra, voiced by Chloe Coleman. Radiating a sort of Mabel Pines energy, Cadebra is the beam of optimism who shines brightly in an otherwise macabre special. There is something about her plucky personality and sense of wacky individualism that charms the viewer. I appreciate how the show compared and contrasted her with her uncle, the one and only Abracadaniel: like her uncle, Cadebra is a good person who wants to help others, but unlike Abracadaniel, she has a sense of courage and fortitude that results in her taking on a Coconteppi-possessed Peps at the episode’s climax. (Say what you will, Abracadaniel stans, but our favorite custodian would never have done that!) Thanks to her bravery and dedication to Peps, Cadebra is easily the heart of the special.

The episode throws an interesting little curveball into the mix by having the ‘ghost’ of Past Peppermint Butler constantly haunt Peps in the here-and-now. Past Peppermint, it seems, was so determined to become a great wizard, he cursed himself, so that if anything were to go awry, his Past self could materialize and set him straight. It’s confusing, but I do think that mixing the “overbearing parent” trope with a curse is a clever idea; it gives the whole special some dramatic heft. The whole setup is made even funnier by the special’s conclusion: After Future Peppermint Butler is ‘defeated’ and the day is saved, Peps reveals to Cadebra that he still wants to be a great and powerful dark wizard… but he wants to earn that power through hard work and determination. (Peppermint Butler might commune with demons, but he would never sell his soul to one for power; Glob helps those who help themselves, ya know?)

One of the special’s strongest points is its background art. Adventure Time always had some beautiful set pieces, and this special goes above and beyond to give WizArts an ancient sense of grandeur and mystery. Ghostshrimp, a freelance artist who was the show’s lead background designer during seasons 1-4, return for this special as a “visual developer”—basically, he mocked up a bunch of rough designs for the locales, and then the episode’s background artists worked up the final pieces in his style. On his podcast, Ghostshrimp mentioned how hectic he found Adventure Time to be, because he was used to taking his time on pieces. As such, the decision to bring him on for just development was smart, as it allowed him to still come up with iconic background designs while also playing fast and loose with everything. Hopefully the show will continue this approach with the Fionna and Cake miniseries that is coming up. After all, Ghosthsrimp’s style is the look of Adventure Time.

Another strong point for the episode is its voice acting. For one thing, you have your regulars like Tom Kenny and Dana Snyder, and Duncan Trussell, who all give a solid performance. But to voice many of the special’s new characters, the show brought on a bevy of fun actors: Saturday Night Live’s Bill Hader, for instance, is now voicing Bufo, and he does a solid job hamming up his role as the old fogey. And then there’s Toks Olagundoye, whose British accent gives Dr. Caledonius a sense of knowledge and expertise. To my delight and surprise, SungWon Cho, an internet personality and voice actor perhaps better known as ProZD, was tapped to voice Brain Wizard, and he does an excellent job. And finally, Anthony Stewart Head, a very talented actor who I know best as Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, voices Con Wizard, and is even given a fun little ditty to sing. I can safely say that the voice acting in this special is likely the best of the bunch, and it’s obvious that the actors were all having a great time playing their parts.

What drags the whole thing down, in my opinion is the excessive murder. (I joked on Twitter that during the climax of “Wizard City,” it felt like I was watching an Adventure Time-ified version of Invincible!) Infused with the power of Coconteppi, Peps goes on a brutal killing spree, boiling Potable Wizard into steam, zapping Dimension Wizard into another plane of existence, smashing Berdzerd, and—perhaps most graphically—excerebrates (had to look that word up!) Brain Wiz. On Twitter, @sometipsygnostalgic​ argued that while, yes, the scene is startling, it does wonders to transmute “a poor Summer Camp Island knockoff [into] Adventure Time chaos.” The more I think about it, the more I think that’s a fair point; after all, this is hardly the first dark thing that has happened in Adventure Time. But the part that I cannot really stomach is the fact that Spader was murdered for no real reason, and the special ends without anyone really expressing their horror at the situation. Sure, Spader was a schoolyard bully, but he was also a child. And killing a child—either for the drama or the lulz—feels decidedly out of place in an Adventure Time episode. It’s hard to express, but it just felt unnecessarily nihilistic and mean-spirited.

All things considered, I think this was a fun episode, but it was somewhat underwhelming for a ‘finale.’ Much of this is because it had to air after the perfection that was the back-to-back “Obsidian”/”Together Again” wombo combo. But I can’t help but feel like this special just felt a little... off. A little too meanspirited, and it leaned a bit too much on standard tropes. Still, it was a fun spin, and I know that I’ll rewatch it.

Mushroom War Evidence: As Peps rides the bus to school, he passes a bunch of abandoned houses, some of which are buried in the ground. There is an unexploded bomb above the fossilized elephant in the school. Cadebra has a dream that takes place in the ruins of a city.

Final Grade: B+

[kuroopaisen]

03:22 am || sugawara koushi

➵ existentialism doesn’t have to be depressing.

wc: 2292

warnings: gn!reader, philosophical talk (I’m so sorry), existentialism

a/n: sorry for rambling so much about existentialism dslfk i was doing my best to get into the 3am mindset

The stars aren’t particularly bright, but you’re grateful that you can even catch a glimpse of them. Your apartment’s balcony is only small, and you can only see so much unobstructed sky. What you can see of the constellations are bleached by the city lights, but that hasn’t dampened either yours or Suga’s desire to stargaze. The two of you cuddle up on a dingy banged-up couch, barely big enough to fit both of you. Not that either of you care.

Suga seemed particularly unphased, littering quick kisses across the side of your face.

“Koushi,” you chuckle, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Hm?” A peck to your cheek.

“Are you quite alright?”

“I’m just peachy.” A kiss to your temple.

“Do you want something?” You giggle, turning your head to look at him straight.

“Nothing,” he beams, pressing his lips to your nose.

You grin, kissing his own nose in response.

You take a moment to admire him, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. 

He looks a bit like starlight personified, all silver hair and round, bright eyes. He’s got one of those smiles that lights up his whole face, crinkling his eyes in the most endearing way.

Those kind eyes of his were one of the things that had drawn you to him at first. Initially, your intentions had been purely platonic. But how weren’t you supposed to fall in love with this boy made of starlight?

“What’re you thinking about?” You ask, smoothing a thumb over his cheek. He smiles at you, those beautiful eyes of his touched with a hint of melancholy.

“Nothing.”

“You’re thinking about something,” you smile. “You’ve got that look in your eyes.”

His eyes are kind, warm, gentle. But they’re perhaps a bit more expressive than he’d like.

Suga grins, shaking his head. “I was a fool to think I’d get anything by you, huh?”

“Good to see you’re learning your lesson,” you tease. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “I’m just… thinking about the inherent meaninglessness of life.”

You snort, but you’re not surprised. This isn’t unusual for him. “That doesn’t sound like ‘alright’.”

“Oh, but it is,” Suga grins, looking you directly in the eyes. “It’s great.”

“Why?”

“I get to do whatever I want,” Suga shrugs. “It doesn’t matter if there’s no greater meaning to any of it. I get to live my life in a way that makes me happy.”

“What makes you happy, then?” You ask, smoothing the top of his head.

“You,” he fires back immediately, a cheeky grin on his lips.

“That’s a cop-out,” you snort, poking his nose.

“I just…” He sighs, turning his gaze back to the faint stars. “I just want to do right by the people around me.”

“That’s wonderful,” you smile. There’s such beautiful sincerity in his eyes.

“It sounds cheesy,” Suga scoffs, his cheeks tinged pink.

“So?” You ask.

His blush deepens as he meets your eyes. “Well… you know…”

You’re well-aware of what the concern is, but you’ve decided to mark it down as ‘silly.’

“If you’re going to be a nihilist, you may as well be nice about it,” you shrug. “Nothing’s worse than being an asshole who’s rude to people because ‘life is meaningless’ and ‘humans are just base animals’ or whatever.”

Suga chuckles at your rather accurate impression of a man in a first-year philosophy degree.

“Just don’t start quoting Nietzsche at me,” you grin.  

“I would never,” Suga scoffs. “It’s gotta be Kierkegaard.”

“Wasn’t he just… really sad?” You ask, tilting your head at him.

“He hated democracy.”

“He did?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Suga shrugs. “I dunno. I just know he did.”

You giggle, shaking your head. “Good to see you’ve been paying attention in class.”

“Look,” Suga raises a hand, “I found that out when I was just scouring the net, okay?”

“Mhm…”

“Philosophy is supposed to make you think about life, not some guy’s opinion on democracy, okay?” Suga grins.

“You have to write a dialogue, right?” You ask. You remember him telling you about it, but you can’t quite recall what he’s actually supposed to do.

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Are you arguing with Nietzsche?”

He laughs. “Not sure yet.”

“I think you should,” you hum. “I’d laugh.”

“I can’t believe my assignment is basically me writing fanfiction about me and Diogenes hanging out,” he grins.

“Actually yeah, write about him,” you snort. “I, too, would like to find an honest man.”

Suga chuckles. “Unfortunately, that’s not gonna help me get a good mark.”

“You’re going to get a good mark,” you say, pouting at him. “You always do.”

“Bold of you to put that much confidence in me,” he scoffs. “I haven’t even started writing it yet.”

“Have you planned it out?”

“Kind of?”

“Well, what’s your key argument?” You ask. You enjoy talking to him like this; unpicking his brain, finding out what he thought about the world. He always had something interesting to say, a thought to share about life in general.

 “I mean…” Suga sighs. “I always sorta figured that if life doesn’t inherently mean anything, then we’ve got a choice, right?”

“A choice?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What do you mean?” You shift yourself in his lap, your legs now dangling over the armrest. 

Suga pauses, pressing his lips together for a moment. “Well… you’re not morally beholden to anyone, right?” 

“Uh huh…” You nod slowly. 

“So… why wouldn’t you want to choose to do the kind thing? It’s not hard.”

You bite your lip. “But if you’re not ‘morally beholden’ to anyone, then what’s the point of being kind?” 

“You know… it’s the decent thing to do.” He raises an eyebrow at you. “And it feels good.” 

“But why?” 

“Do you disagree with me?” 

“No,” you laugh, shaking your head. “I’m just trying to help you solidify your argument.” 

“Ah, playing devil’s advocate, I see,” he grins. 

You flick him in the forehead gently. “How dare you.” 

“I’m just waiting for you to destroy me with facts and logic,” he teases, grinning at you. His eyes are much brighter now, twinkling with mirth. 

“Well,” you smile, running your fingers through his hair. “Presuming I did destroy you with facts and logic, then what would you say in response?” 

“Okay,” Suga sits up a little straighter, a determined glint in his eyes. “You know the whole ‘existence precedes essence’ thing, right?” 

“Kind of?” 

“Well, the basic principle is that we exist before anything else,” he begins. “That sounds obvious, but what it’s trying to get at is that our consciousness exists before anything else. There is no ‘essential nature’ to any of us.” 

“Right,” you nod. 

“So, we create our own values, our own meanings, because we don’t have any inherently,” he continues. “We have to make them ourselves, and that’s how we give our existence significance.” 

You hum in response. 

“A lot of people get kind of down if they believe there’s no inherent meaning to life, but that just means there so much more freedom. And there’s power in that freedom.” 

“What do you mean, exactly?” You ask. You’ve had these sorts of conversations before, but he’s been getting better and better at articulating himself. If anything, he seems relieved by it. 

“The essential meaninglessness of life isn’t a burden, it’s a chance to define ourselves and where we want to go,” he continues. 

“Mhm,” you nod, paying him the attention he deserves. 

“We may be meaningless in the grand scheme of the universe, but that means we’re free.” 

“How so?” You ask. 

He considers your question for a moment, a tiny pout on his lips. “We’re not inherently ‘good,’ but we’re not inherently ‘selfish’ either. We get to choose.” 

“Right,” you nod. “But… won’t some people find that overwhelming?”

“What do you mean?” He asks. 

“Isn’t that just the whole absurdity thing?” You’re trying to find the right words, to call on all the concepts you remember him telling you about. You may be no philosophy student, but you know Suga won’t judge. “You know, the… the contradiction between finding meaning and purpose in an inherently chaotic and meaningless world?” 

“Oh, right,” he nods. “Well… the absurd itself isn’t the problem, per se. If anything, one of the best things you can do is to accept that absurdity, even if it’s difficult.” 

“Yes, life is absurd,” he stresses. “Yes, it can be hard to find the motivation to press on when you feel that life is meaningless.” 

You wonder, for a moment, if he’s speaking from experience. 

“The idea is that you live on in-spite of that,” he smiles. “It’s like a big middle finger to a universe that doesn’t care about you.” 

“So… by deciding what matters to you is a way of biting back at a world that doesn’t care?” 

“Exactly!” He beams. “Freedom means we create our own meanings, and can find satisfaction in our lives by figuring out what we really want and how we feel we should live best,” he continues. “And it means that instead of having to worry about our ‘inherent, essential goodness’, we get to define ourselves by our actions -- people can claim that humans are inherently selfish, but we’re not.” 

He’s glowing now, eyes shining and cheeks bright. He really is beautiful. And good. So, so good. 

“Because neither behaviour is encoded in us, we’re responsible for the choices we make. We choose to be cruel, or we choose to be kind. We can choose to be good.” 

“And you think most people would do that?” You ask. 

“I’m not naive,” he sighs, “but I do think most people would want to do right by others. Not all. But most.” 

He takes a deep breath, looking to the sky once more. You follow his gaze upwards. 

“I just…” His voice is quiet now, almost as if he’s praying. “We’re all thrown into this absurd world, and we can make it easier for one another.” 

You press a gentle kiss to his temple, your heart feeling fuzzier than ever. 

Suga looks at you with the gentlest smile, a bright spark in his eyes. “We can bear the burden of the human condition together and show each other compassion.”

You run a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp with the tips of your fingers. 

He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, still smiling. “And the way I see it… if there’s no inherent meaning or purpose to the way things are, then there’s no reason to succumb to suffering.” 

“That’s a bit bold of you,” you chuckle. 

“I’m not saying that suffering is unavoidable or anything, but I mean, like…” He frowns, trying to unpick the implications of his own words. “Of course, there’ll be things you can’t escape and things that’ll fucking suck. I just mean that... You don’t have to do anything. In that sense, you can pursue what you want to pursue, prioritise the things that make you happy…”

“I see.” 

“I’m not saying that life’s a free-for-all either. Like, I’m not saying that it’s okay for people to be awful to each other,” he continues. “And I understand that the world we live in places limits on us and what we can conceivably do…”  

“What, like the… struggling artist thing?” You clarify. 

“Yeah,” he nods. “I know that it’s not that simple and everything won’t work out just because you want it to. I just think… if it makes you happy then… then it’s worth a try.” 

He sits back in the chair, sinking into the cushions. “But… I don’t know,” he sighs. “It’s hard to articulate.” 

“That’s okay,” you smile. “You’re making sense to me.” 

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure if my tutors have that same insight into my brain.” 

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” you giggle, shifting yourself in his lap. “Can you think of a good one-liner?” You ask, tilting your head at him. 

“Hm…” He muses for a moment, tilting his head upwards. “At the end of the day, I just think that… we have a choice to be kind. Why wouldn’t you be?” 

You laugh. “Why would you say something so brave and yet so controversial?”

“Isn’t that meme outdated now?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I can never keep up with what the young people are doing these days.”

He snorts. “What are you, seventy-two?”

“In body, no,” you shake your head. “But in spirit?”

“Great, I’m dating a geriatric.”

“You knew this going into it,” you giggle. “I’ve just been burdened with age. There’s no space in my heart for optimism anymore.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Suga grins, gazing at you fondly.

“I like that about you,” you smile, smoothing a thumb over his cheek.

“I just think that there’s a lot of good out there if you look for it,” he shrugs, his words earnest and sincere. “I know the world isn’t that simple and that there’s plenty of horrible things too, but…” He chews his lip, eyes softening as he once again looking to the sky. “I want to contribute to the world as best as I can.”

You watch him as he watches the stars. You wonder if he knows he’s the brightest amongst them. If he knows how much joy and light, he’s brought to everyone who’s had the privilege of loving him. It’s a gift to be counted amongst them.

You’ve been told that people are made of stardust, but Suga makes you believe it.

You lean in and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, letting the warmth in your chest diffuse through your body. “I love you.”

He smiles at you, and you’re sure he can outshine the moon.

“I love you too.”  

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 137 Review

I can't unsee it.

-rubs temples-

Ok, I know I’ve been absent the past two chapters. I’ll get to why and what I thought of 135 and 136 in this post, but for now…jeez, this chapter.

It was badass and dumb and sometimes both at the same time.

Where do I even start?

-sound of pages being leafed through-

Ok, then.

I actually really like Zeke’s character. He is unironically my second favorite out of the cast.

When we first see Zeke, he’s in his beast titan form. He’s lumbering, hulking, unsettling.

He’s a titan that can talk. He’s a titan that can control other titans!

And he wiped out humanity’s second strongest with ease. I forget his name. It was Mickey, right?

Worst than that, actually. He ordered his titans to kill Mickey with all the gravitas of ordering a side of fries at McDonald’s.

Iirc fans were wondering if this new character would be the main villain of the series.

He went on to wipe out the Survey Corps at Shighanshina, and after that we learned he singlehandedly foiled his parent’s right-wing conspiracy when he was a kid.

Zeke was a mastermind who shouldn’t be taken lightly…right?

Welp, the more we saw of Zeke, the more obvious it became that he wasn’t actually all the impressive.

He wasn’t very good at being a warrior. Honestly, it seems most of his high marks comes from his unique royal blood powers, and the good will be built with Marley when he turned in his parents. TFW cronyism.

He foiled the restorationists plot, but really he was just an abused kid who wanted to get away from his parents.

He killed Mickey, but Zeke was a King Kong sized titan and Mickey was caught off guard and unarmed, so…yeah, ofc he won that fight.  

Zeke has royal blood powers, but that doesn’t say anything about his intellectual prowess or anything.

The Survey Corps was wiped out at Shighanshina, but the circumstances of that fight strongly favored him. The Survey Corps were trapped in the city, so all Zeke had to do to win was sit on his ass and do nothing.

And he almost died anyway.

Levi got the drop on him because of his own incompetence. He let himself get distracted, which created the opening for Levi to strike.

Throw in his gullibleness towards Eren, his bumbling demeanor, and his totally emo philosophy, and the true nature of Zeke Jeager became undeniable: this guy is a fucking moron.

Like.

A real fucking moron.

And that’s why his character is unironically so great!

Zeke’s character is such a brilliant subversion of audience expectations.

We were all made to believe that this guy was a Big Fucking Deal through what turned out to mostly be circumstantial reasons.

In reality, he’s an idiot who’s been failing upwards his whole life.

Zeke got as far as he did because he’s really lucky. That’s all he has going for him.

I liked the more fleshed out version of his world view we got here. It is appropriately emo.

My read on Zeke has always been that if he existed in real life he’d be an extremely online philosophy bro, so seeing his outlook on life being effectively copy pasted from 4chan was just delightful.

Zeke is 2deep4(chan)u.

Life exists to multiply. All actions are explained by this singular drive. As such, life is hollow and we’re better off dead.

Imagine that is how you see the world.

Life sucks. It’s an existence of suffering driven by a desire to ensure more people are brought into this world so that they can toil away ensuring that yet more people are brought into this world to toil away ensuring people are brought into this world.

On and on and on and on.

To Zeke, this is the cycle of violence.

Not war which begets war which begets war, but rather life itself.

One suffering existence that begets another suffering existence that begets yet another suffering existence.

That is the context from which the euthanasia plan came from: it was an extension of this broader world view.

Everyone gets a dose of pain in this world, but Eldians especially get shafted. If anyone deserved release from this nihilistic existence that is “being alive,” it’s them.

Hence, Zeke’s plan to sterilize Eldians so they can die out peaceably.

…

It’s hilarious how easily Zeke is disabused of this notion.

I’m not sure if it works from a storytelling perspective, but it tracks perfectly with what usually happens when emo philosophy bros like Zeke have their beliefs challenged.

The emo bro will go on a self-absorbed rant about how nihilistic life is. For sake of example, let’s say the reason is because morality is just an opinion and nothing is objectively wrong.

The n the guy he’s ranting to will drop a critique on the bro so devastating that they’re left speechless:

“What about murder? Isn’t murder objectively wrong?”

Emo bro: -surprised pikachu face-

I swear to God this happens a lot. I don’t know if transplanting that into this pivotal storytelling moment works, but I sure as hell enjoyed it.

But, yeah, while we’re talking about philosophies, let’s look at some others.

Armin thinks there is beauty in pointless moments. Moments that are meaningful only for the people who partake in them. They’re an expression of the love they have for each other. Those moments are worth cherishing and protecting.

He’s right, but you know who also thinks that way?

Eren does.

Superficially, anyway.

When Eren starts rumbling the world, he thinks of his friends and the fun they’ve had together. He’s doing it for them.

Of course, he’s hurt them instead, but that’s still his logic, however deranged it may be.

What separates Armin from Eren is their sense of boundaries.

There are places that Eren is willing to push on towards that Armin is not.

For that, Eren thinks Armin is weak. All Eren had to say to him when they spoke at the restaurant was how useless Armin was.

Armin can’t go the distance. He can’t do what’s necessary. He takes options off the table too easily. He wanted to negotiate instead of seeing the truth that war was inevitable.

To Eren, that’s weakness.

In reality, it’s empathy.

Armin cares about people. Even people who hate him.

Eren doesn’t. If you’re his enemy, you’re dead to him, period.

Eren has no soul.

He may have slept under his enemy’s roof, ate his enemy’s food, and saw the good in them for himself, but he’s still killing them.

I don’t care if he’s crying on the inside. I don’t care how many times he said he’s sorry to Ramzi.

That actually makes it worse.

Eren made the calculation, the conscientious decision, that the lives of billions of people across multiple civilizations were worth less than that of his race.

Not even his whole race; just the subset of his race he was most familiar with!

Eren and Armin represent two widely similar, yet subtly different philosophies.

For Eren, the world is beautiful, but you have to do cruel things to protect that beauty.

The world is cruel because it is beautiful.

For Armin, the world is beautiful, but it is plagued by cruelty.

The world is cruel, but also beautiful.

SNK made the right choice. Armin was rightly depicted as the superior worldview.

(I have some gripes about how endemic the series seems to think cruelty is to the world, but we’re ignoring that now.)

Ymir is more of a wild card than I thought she’d be.

It seemed straightforward.

Ymir had been beaten and enslaved her whole life, so when Eren offered her freedom and treated her life a human, she sided with him.

That still looks to be what happened, but it seemed like Ymir also genuinely wanted to destroy the world with Eren.

The world treated her with cruelty, so of course she’d want to burn it all. Makes sense, right?

But Ymir, it turns out, is a lot more complicated than that.

She was beaten, enslaved, raped, hunted like an animal, and after all that, she still believed in this world.

She saw two lovers together, and that embodied what made the world worth getting attached to.

Those two lovers were her conquerors. Her oppressors.

She saw the love between two of her slavers, and instead of resentment or jealousy, she simply knew it was beautiful.

If people threaten his freedom, Eren wishes death upon them.

When Ymir is literally enslaved by them, she still acknowledges the beauty of their romance.

It’s a cool layer of complexity to add to their dynamic. They’ve been through similar shit, but they couldn’t be more dissimilar.

My guess is that Ymir is sympathetic to Armin and everyone came back to life through her help.

I know Armin Zeke the credit for that, but…that makes no sense?

Eren defeated Zeke when Ymir sided with him and he started the rumbling.

Eren, via Ymir, is in control, not Zeke, so it makes no sense for Zeke to be able to do any of this.

The only explanation is that Ymir broke from Eren and now Zeke is her new best friend.

…Yeah, this is the part where I talk about the bad stuff with this chapter.

The exact mechanics of how all of this went down is very underexplained.

Zeke being able to reveal himself like he did can be chalked up to Ymir’s power, but if it’s true this was purely Zeke’s doing, then…how?

How was Zee able to do that if Eren is in control? Why would Eren even put Zeke there instead of encasing him in crystal and keeping him physically close by?

This whole final battle has been very underwhelming for me, which is why I didn’t do a review for the last two chapters.

The premise is pretty bland.

The Alliance’s main opposition in this fight are mindless drones. The titans they’re fighting have no humans inside them, they’re just puppets. NPCs.

What drama there has been here has been the same fucking crap we’ve been dealing with for the past few volumes.

Yes, Mikasa, Eren has to die.

I know this is hard for her, but my patience has run out.

Eren told her to her face that they had to kill him if they wanted to win, and then when the Alliance is riding on Falco’s back, they make the final call to kill Eren and this is the face Mikasa makes.

Like this is the first time she’s heard it.

This is the face you’d expect from a child, not a grown ass adult. 

That was the moment I became convinced Mikasa would probably die in this fight.

Her head is too far up her ass as this point.

She is utterly incapable of processing the obvious fact that Eren hates her.

Yes, he’s theoretically destroying the world partly for her, but he’s also deranged and too self-absorbed to see that he’s hurt her. He has no real regard for her. 

It is beyond annoying that there has been almost zero progression for her character on this issue.

If by this point in the story, she had accepted that Eren had to die, but was still visibly coping with that, then all would be well.

What’s frustrating is that just when it seems like we’ve progressed past that stage, we learn we haven’t.

I also feel that a lot of the major beats of the fight were pointless.

A major point in the battle comes when Armin gets eaten by the Okapi titan, and Mikasa, Annie, and the rest have to rescue him. But Armin didn’t seem to be in any danger of dying, and him being sent to P A T H S was actually a good thing in the end because he was able to win over Zeke.

The whole deal with the explosives around Eren’s neck was also pretty badly handled.

You’d think the hard part would be getting the explosives to the neck and securing them to it, but nope. Pieck took care of that in a couple of panels, and the real meat of the fight is doing the very last thing they need to do to win.

It’s very tedious and contrived.

Instead of a fight that’s interesting because they have to wrestle their way through titans while carrying the bombs, we get a totally generic fight because the story breezed through the hard part and all they have to do now is push a single button to win.

But in the end that entire sequence was pointless because Armin decides to blow everything up anyway.

Jean’s shining moment?

A total waste.

Reiner’s shining moment...wrangling that worm thing?

Also a total waste.

Armin was going to blow it up anyway. There is no way you can say that Eren would have survived Armin’s explosion but for Reiner and Jean’s efforts.

It just defies all common sense.

So yeah, this whole battle was a pretty lackluster climax.

Looking to the future, I think this is it.

There’s only two chapters left, so we need to start wrapping up. My guess is Eren’s likely dead and next chapter starts the epilogue.

Tally-ho.

---

I made a post about all the character’s chances of living or dying by the end of the manga. I figured I’d update those death ratings here.

Eren: Likely Alive --> Lean Dead

Historia: Likely Dead --> Toss Up

Mikasa and Reiner: Lean Dead --> Lean Alive

Annie: Lean Alive --> Likely Alive

Jean and Connie: Likely Dead --> Lean Alive

Pieck: Toss Up --> Lean Alive

Zeke: Lean Alive --> Ded

You’ll notice I’m still rating most of the cast as having a significant chance of dying.

While I do feel that this is probably the end of the battle, I’m choosing to be cautious in my choice of ratings.

Mayhaps Eren will pull a come from behind victory.

Ya never know.

[nonveritas]

for k. / @liebesfrued

How do we know that we are living in reality?

It was an inquiry posed by the living embodiment of his antithesis irking him to this day. Half of him thought it didn’t matter, while the remaining half contemplated. By now, his response could have been nihilistic sprinkled with the hope crafted in the very core of his being.

However, it became something he thought about when there was nothing else to ponder. Day or night, in a few seconds to a couple of hours, during his slumber or when he was wide awake… The question was like a parasite growing inside of him that leeched off a few yet important seconds of his mortal existence.

Having experienced more than one reality, the question was something he didn’t take too lightly. Whatever happened on the island-- The conversations, the emotions, the memories… They were indications that they existed in the same reality (albeit… fabricated), right? Although, it didn’t end on the island for some reason.

What he could retain from his memories were… fragments. What he was certain of, was that his companion in that reality was, again, the equivalent of a lucky slot machine that happened to also be implanted with a bomb.

Blue skies with clouds that looked like brush strokes out of a painting, a warm breeze on an open greenery… He was covered in armor, while his counterpart was the opposite. Whatever the timeline it was, it wasn’t the medieval ages, thankfully. The trauma would have been similar to the events in the reality prior. Everyone else was present as well. The conversations, the emotions, the memories… Those factors were present, too.

But no one else remembered or knew of this reality. Only him and the yin-yang luckster.

And that posed another question, was the reality… real, when it was just two souls that shared everything? But why him? Why was he the only other recipient of this third reality? He had his hunch, or rather, he was absolutely confident in his assumption. But there was nothing wrong to hear confirmation from the other soul himself.

-000-

Eyeing the silhouette of the person in question sitting by the docks, he finally approached with footsteps announcing his arrival. 

Komaeda glanced up and smiled, met by Hajime’s confused and annoyed scowl.

“Your reality… Or rather, your psyche… I was in it. I know I was in it. I remember… things. No one else remembers.” He narrowed his eyes. “You wanted me to be a part of it… Or am I mistaken?”

Nothing in Komaeda’s smile faltered, but Hajime knew better. He saw the violent turbulence of his psyche for himself. It was a living nightmare to say the least. He assumed he was allowed to view the repressed subconscious, as the other was a walking, talking enigma at all times.

“What on Earth are you talking about, Hinata-kun?” He was an impeccable actor; almost faultless. Almost.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I know that you know what I’m talking about. I was there. You were there, and I know you remember, too. But what I don’t know is why you decided to involve me in your world.” He narrowed his eyes, his suspicions much visible for Komaeda to gaze at.

“Ehhhh?” Komaeda tilted his head, his smile staying in place. Hajime almost wanted to smack him in the head, but fought off the urge at the last minute. “I told you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The smile looked out of place, not the same as any of those deceitful smiles from before.

“Well, whatever the case, I kind of know you a bit more. You’re the definition of heavy baggage, too much of a burden to carry,” Hajime started. Komaeda’s smile faltered the tiniest bit (the rarest showcase of weakness), but Hajime continued, “But if this is just your way of asking me if I’d like to stay by your side, hmm… If it’s just because I’m this beacon of hope that you fantasize, then don’t bet on it.” He smirked. “Before anything else, I’m nothing. Because if I’m nothing, I can be anything. And with that, I just want to be... me.” He closed his eyes and folded his arms against his chest, using one finger to point at Komaeda as he opened one eye. “And if you see me for me, I’ll see you for you. Eye-to-eye, so to speak. Besides, it’s not like we can go anywhere anyway.”

And then, laughter. Frivolous, unhinged laughter from the eccentricity beside him. Looking back, his words did sound cheesy at best, but how else could he express--

“You never cease to amaze me, Hinata-kun.” He wiped what seemed to be a tear from the corner of his eye. He looked… livelier, an unexpected metamorphosis that happened in the blink of an eye. “Even after everything, you’re still so… I can’t even find the perfect word to describe it. Maybe you’re like a… Ah! A cockroach!”

Hajime’s eye twitched. Komaeda then waved his hands and chuckled. “Hear me out. You’re tenacious, you’ve outlived the greatest tragedy in human history which is basically the apocalypse… Not only that, you’ve evolved overcoming all odds! Ahh~~ This is why humans are always so utterly fascinating.” The tone in his voice had that familiar and weird perversion to it. Nice to see that some things would never change.

“I can’t wait for everything else that you have to offer, Hinata-kun.” He offered his hand to emphasize his point, but was taken aback when Hajime placed his hand over his.

“Hey now, it’s not just me. Don’t make things boring for me, Komaeda-kun.” Hajime gave the other’s hand a squeeze, his expression challenging the other’s.

Komaeda could feel emotions squeeze over his heart, his beating heart. The moment was unthinkably beautiful poetry in motion. Words couldn’t simply suffice the excitement, the happiness, the love--

“I know.”

Maybe there was no answer. Or maybe the reality was whatever they wanted it to be, together.

[aion-rsa]

Endeavour Theory: Has Morse Already Crossed Paths With Nemesis Hugo de Vries?

https://ift.tt/3ivQyUa

Warning: contains spoilers for Endeavour Series 7 and Inspector Morse episode ‘Masonic Mysteries’.

There’s a beauty to mystery that could hardly be lost on fans of Endeavour, a series with playfulness in its bones, as evidenced by its regular tips of the hat to pop culture and Morse creator Colin Dexter. The show’s viewers understand that ambiguities deliberately positioned as such should be allowed to stand, unaccosted by any fun-sucking need for certainty. We’re not here to unweave rainbows or clip angel wings.  

That said, Endeavour does love a game, and its fans love to play along. So while appreciating that some things are destined to rightly remain in the hazy hinterland of maybe, let’s play. The name of this game? Find Hugo de Vries!

Played by Ian McDiarmid in Inspector Morse Series 4 episode ‘Masonic Mysteries’ (1990), Hugo de Vries is a fan-favourite villain in the world of Morse. Erudite and cultured with a love of classical music, he has much in common with the detective, as is fitting for any two nemeses. A great difference of course, is that de Vries is a diabolical killer utterly without conscience. 

Ian McDiarmid as Hugo de Vries in Inspector Morse Series 4 episode ‘Masonic Mysteries’

In de Vries’ one and only Inspector Morse appearance, Morse finds himself framed for the murder of a woman from his choir, which is staging a production of Mozart’s The Magic Flute. After the murder, Morse finds almost £100,000 transferred to his bank account from the charity administrated by the victim. Morse’s personal file on the police computer is hacked to insert a fictional past event in which he supposedly attacked a woman, and his guvnor – McNutt at the time – covered it up. His home is set on fire, he’s pulled over and breathalysed after an anonymous complaint is made about his erratic driving, his Jag is vandalised with masonic symbols and McNutt’s dead body is discovered in his bathroom. All of it, realises an increasingly unhinged Morse, is the work of de Vries, who’s borne a grudge against Morse since his sergeant days.

Endeavour being the story of those very days, Inspector Morse fans have been watching the prequel closely for a cameo by the younger Hugo de Vries. After another ‘Masonic Mysteries’ character, Marion Brooke, turned up in Series 3’s ‘Arcadia’, Endeavour writer Russell Lewis was asked in this 2017 interview whether Endeavour would one day bump into de Vries. Lewis replied, “Each thing in its season. I shouldn’t be surprised to see him sooner or later.”

Jump forward four years to a post-Series Eight finale exchange on Twitter when Lewis is asked the same question. The writer’s answer this time is more playful. “Ah, Hugo. Who can say if he hasn’t already crossed our path? He might well have done, of course. On the other hand… ‘Now you see him, now you don’t. That’s de Vries all right’.”

Ryan Gage as Ludo Talenti in Endeavour Series 7

In the spirit of investigation, let’s assess the evidence. Is Lewis just teasing or has Hugo de Vries already crossed our path in Endeavour, namely in the form of Ryan Gage’s Series Seven villain Ludo Talenti?

That name alone may contain all the clue we need. Not only do Hugo and Ludo bear more than a glancing resemblance, but the latter in Latin is the first person of the verb ‘to play’. ‘I play… many talents’ would be an inelegant translation. A better one might include the possible allusion to Patricia Highsmith’s famous conman Tom Ripley, given the epithet ‘Talented’ in his first appearance. Like Ripley, both Hugo and Ludo are master manipulators who charm and inveigle their way to wealth, leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. 

To jog the memory, Ludo recurred throughout Series Seven, initially presenting himself as a university contemporary of Morse’s who ran into him after Morse’s wallet was lifted at a garden concert (almost certainly a ruse designed to engineer the ‘accidental’ meeting). Ludo befriended Morse and the pair bonded over a shared love of opera. Ludo’s family is in shipping, he tells Morse, and he travels around raising money for their charitable fund, driven by a pursuit of music and beautiful women. 

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When Morse asks him which country he’s from, Ludo is coy, preferring to say he is a “man of the world.” He later tells a childhood story about life during Nazi occupation, which throws up various suggestions but like so much Ludo says, that could well be fiction. For what it’s worth, the saying he cites as from his country, “Do not praise a day before sunset,” is Polish. And what of Hugo de Vries’ nationality? Ian McDiarmid’s accent in ‘Masonic Mysteries’ is difficult to place, though the name is Dutch (borrowed from a famous botanist), and he faked his death in prison in Sweden. (Ludo incidentally tells Morse that he posed as a Swedish policeman on the phone once to track the detective down.) Ludo’s name, it’s revealed in the Series 7 finale, was taken from the gravestone of a 16th century priest on Venice’s San Michele cemetery island.

Ludo Talenti’s priest namesake revealed in Endeavour’s Series 7 finale

To tot up the similarities so far, that’s two criminals, of indiscriminate European origin, around Morse’s age, fluent in the language of classical music and opera, living under assumed names. Both also share a snobbish disdain for the police. Ludo expressed surprise that a man as cultured as Morse would be “a lumpen, plodding petty official” while Hugo sneered at Morse’s colleagues going about in pairs “like low comedians.” They also share a similarly rarefied, Bond Villain-ish way of speaking (Every man has his price, every man, I shall make it my life’s business to find yours,”), and express the same nihilistic attitude. “Life, death, rich, poor, it’s all a roll of the dice, Morse, there’s no reason to any of it,” says Ludo, foreshadowing Hugo’s words when he forces Morse to his knees at gunpoint in ‘Masonic Mysteries’. “He was clever, you see,” Inspector Morse tells Lewis in that episode, “he took one look and knew your weakness right away.” In Series 7, Ludo jokes to Morse that he will find his weakness and exploit it without mercy to his own ends.

What else? The nature of their crimes. In ‘Masonic Mysteries’ Morse tells Lewis that his past encounter with de Vries saw him con Oxford University out of millions of pounds. His scam had a kind of poetry to it – posing as the heir to a Swedish armaments manufacturer, de Vries proposed the building of an institute for peace studies. His later scheme involved stealing money from Marion Brooke’s charitable foundation to frame Morse. 

Paperwork from Ludo’s life insurance policy scam. Note the signature.

Ludo’s Series 7 scheme was less poetic, but of a similar flavour. He bought up life insurance policies of people looking for a quick pay out, killed them, cashed in, and disguised the deaths as freak accidents. One such victim was poor Carrie Bright, the cancer-suffering wife of ACC Bright. (In a rather baroque twist, the initials of the locations for each murder spelled out the name L.U.D.O.). Both men wore disguises to do their evil work – de Vries posed as a homeless man to murder Morse’s former guvnor McNutt, and Talenti posed as a healer to gain access to the Bright home and sabotage their Christmas lights, causing Mrs Bright’s death by electrocution. Note in the image above the name of the Executive Director of Ludo’s fake company ‘California Amenity Redemption and Disbursement’ (or C.A.R.D, perhaps another game-play reference…) in the signature on one of his victim’s letters: E. De Vere?

Hugo and Ludo didn’t work alone on their devilish schemes, they each had a female accomplice. Hugo’s was the aforementioned Marion Brooke, a devotee who shared his revenge obsession (Hugo’s the kind of man who makes women kick off their shoes and men open their chequebooks when he enters a room, Morse once told Lewis). Ludo’s was Violetta (played by Stephanie Leonidas), who started a passionate affair with Morse during his holiday in Venice. In the Series 7 denouement, Ludo says that he picked Violetta from the streets when she was 15 years old and “gave her the world,” forcing her to become his co-conspirator in the life insurance murders and the plan to make Morse his “pet policeman”. 

On the subject of having police officers in your pocket, Hugo de Vries’ association with Morse’s longstanding adversaries the Masons mustn’t be forgotten. De Vries taunted Morse with his masonic connections, through Mozart’s freemason-themed opera The Magic Flute. There’s no evidence that Ludo Talenti was involved with the freemasons yet, but Endeavour viewers know that they’re in full operation in Oxford at the time. 

Endeavour Morse attends ‘The Demon’s Wife’ opera in Venice

Endeavour and Violetta met at a performance of ‘La Sposa del Demonio’ in Venice, an operatic work by Endeavour composer Matthew Slater, which translates fittingly as ‘The Demon’s Wife’. Demons come up a great deal around Talenti and de Vries. “There speaks a devil sick of sin,” Ludo says to Endeavour. “There may not be a devil, but there’s devilry alright, and de Vries…” says Inspector Morse, walking away from Hugo’s burial and doubting whether or not he’s really in the coffin. (De Vries’ name, cryptic crossword fans can’t ignore, shares its first three letters with ‘devil’). And perhaps it just suited his complexion, but Ludo wears deep red numerous times in Series 7, perhaps in echo to de Vries’ burgundy shirt in his sole appearance. 

Speaking of that Venetian denouement, did Ludo not die after being shot by Fred Thursday and falling into a canal, putting the kibosh on the ‘Ludo is Hugo’ theory? Well, he was certainly shot, and he certainly did fall into the canal, but did he die, or did that devil live to return and torment Morse under a new name in future adventures? You’ve heard the evidence. What’s your verdict?

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Endeavour Series 8 is available to stream on ITV Hub and Britbox.

The post Endeavour Theory: Has Morse Already Crossed Paths With Nemesis Hugo de Vries? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[erikthedead]

entry #4

Started reading FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY’s ‘Notes from the Underground,’ and I just got into the second half of him rambling and reflecting on his behaviour in detail. I never would have thought a Russian man from the 19th century would make me feel a little bit less alone in this world (or at least the ‘character’ delivering the narrative). Yet the more I read about what goes on in peoples’ heads the less insane I feel, or at least comforted by realising that everyone is a little bit insane, as long as they’re being honest. Should that be comforting? I feel like that should actually be disturbing, but I kinda like being disturbed. The bit that struck me to get writing about myself was how he recurringly mentions this need to be seen and heard and be a noble member of society, but flip flops between that and a state of isolating himself and being a recluse, ashamed by how his own face looks. I hope I’m interpreting it right, as I’m not so sure I’m smart enough to fully understand everything the man was trying to convey. The whole thing reads as him trying to make sense of himself, if anything. But if I am right in that, I can totally relate, and it causes me much distress as it seemed to have tormented him too.  His way was to throw himself into busy streets and bars, never feeling comfortable with it from what I’ve read, and possibly did it on purpose to feel uncomfortable, because he was getting bored with the current discomfort of isolating himself in his room with his books. That’s the interesting thing about it, he never once says he ‘leaves the comfort’ of his own home, like you’ll hear many well-adjusted introverts say. People who are content on their own. He obviously wasn’t content, he was bored, sick of his own brain, he tells us how he would break down into tearful fits from some sort of mental anguish that he tried to escape from through consumption of literature. I do exactly the same thing with media of all kinds, not because I ENJOY spending time with myself and my things, but because it helps me COPE with it. I am so envious of consistently introverted people who relish in their alone time. That SHOULD BE ME. All the same, it annoys me to death when someone complains about being ‘stuck in the house’ all day when they want to go out and mingle and see the world, because that is too exhausting a thing to wish for compared to creature comforts and solitude, surely. Both of them irritate me because I’m jealous of their seemingly consistent understanding of themselves, their desires and what makes them content on a regular, general basis. I’ve been trying to hard to figure out my own. I’m twenty-six now, yet I still feel juvenile as hell. I still feel like a child that goes up to the next thing that catches its eye and wants to ask, ‘can I have a go?’ And of course, to an innocent child, you let them have a go, without any expectations. You don’t get that luxury as an adult. You are expected to choose, commit, KNOW what you want. But again, I can’t help but think this isn’t me being special, that everyone probably feels this way, you certainly hear it from a lot of old people who humbly state that they are still always learning and discovering new things. Then again maybe they miss the point. Discovering things is fine, all the time. Learning is appreciated and encouraged. But actually changing or choosing not to change (both can be bad, right?), that is unsettling. We’ve given up good and evil for behaviourism and yet still people like me, Fyodor and to name a few other people I relate to when I read their autobiographies, Russell Brand, Stephen Fry, Steve-O (oh yes I compare myself to the greats, in all my unheard mighty feats), people like us can’t even get that right. Creative, expressive, bipolar people. People with big heads and sensitive souls, I’d say. Although I connect deeply to people like this I’d never want to be around them for too long. I know their torment and quite frankly my own is enough to contend with. There is a feeling of ‘pay attention to me but leave me alone.’ ‘Love me more than anything but don’t care too much about me because I’m bound to hurt you or make a fool of myself.’ Actually, in Notes from the Underground, Fyodor talks about man’s unconscious desire to smash up something he has been building, because he is unconsciously terrified of what to do what he has completed it, and Brand actually mentions this quite a bit in his Bookywooks. How he’d personally reach a level of fame and notoriety but then sabotage it, fearing the peak or what comes after – the come down. I hope I’ve interpreted these guys correctly, because it does make sense to me. The only thing that really sets me aside from these guys is my utter lack of ambition. At least in these peoples’ hypomanic states they were achieving something. What do I do? I’m the classic, slightly mentally ill underachiever that never sticks to anything. The sheer magnitude of my unconscientiousness could be used as an example of how not to be during a Jordan Peterson lecture. My downfalls were not self-sabotages, conscious or unconscious for the first half of my life. The rest you can blame on me, that’s fair enough, but puberty hit me early and like a train, and all that meant was I was spotty and got a bullied a bit, but that didn’t excuse me from performing well in my exams and essays. I was predicted to come out with some of the top grades in the whole school. I even started finding my confidence and standing up for myself to bullies after a few years adjusting to adolescence. Then my mother died suddenly one night from an overdose when I was fourteen, and my whole world flipped upside down. Like an anime main character backstory right there. It wasn’t perfect beforehand, anyone who knows my whole childhood situation will agree, but I had a bloody good chance up until she died. After that, I became nihilistic, rebellious, promiscuous and generally self-destructive. ‘How would your mother feel if she could see you now? She wouldn’t have wanted this.’ Oh how I wish I slapped anyone that said this to me. How dare they even try to assume what she would have wanted, having never known her. Of course, I said it to myself all the time, I still do sometimes, but I have that right. The rest of you don’t. Hah, rights. What a joke, even as I try to be dominant through typing to imaginary figments of the past and the future, I’m not even convincing myself.

The inconsistency, of my desires, my attitudes, my cognitions, my emotions and ultimately my behaviour is what pains me. I would rather be a complete abolition that was sure in himself than be like this. What’s even more frustrating is that it’s not that uncommon for people to be like me in that sense, but they just go with the flow with it, seemingly unaware of their inconsistency, and become incredibly defensive when you point it out. It’s understandable, I get defensive with myself, which could be an early sign of schizophrenia, who knows, time will tell. At the moment though I am without doubt an anxious, depressive, inconsistent muddled mess of a person, and even the HOPE for my future self comes and goes in powerful forms. I have the grandiose fantasies of being interviewed by people because I’m just that interesting and my achievements are that remarkable, and I also have the sheer terror while preparing to talk to the shop assistant when I’m buying something. Oh yeah, buying things, that’s a tricky one for me an’ all! The trick with me is not to give me too much choice, because if I have I will never decide, or I will make a silly last minute decision or pick the third thing after debating with myself for ten minutes between choosing from the first and the second. Not only indecisiveness, but impulsiveness plagues me. Not just buying things I don’t need, or don’t even want yet because I haven’t finished the last thing, but even charitably so. I saw a stranger E-begging by chance and decided to send him money. I have no idea why. Am I just a good person? I don’t have enough money for myself, and even if I do have some to spare, that should go to others who have helped me financially before a stranger on the internet. Maybe I’m not a good person, and I just did it to cleanse myself of some feeling of shame or guilt for wasting money on myself. As well as the positive fantasies of my future where I am destined to greatness through nothing other than my own conviction and virtues, I have the other vision in the crystal ball that shows myself destitute and addicted to hard drugs, homeless or institutionalised, ultimately suicided. Addiction and suicide run through my veins afterall, and I’ve been close to becoming the 3rd generation of my bloodline to go out by my own hand. The decently sized scar on my arm from a self-inflicted slash that was intended for my neck, that nearly severed my nerves and would have left me with a malfunctioning left hand had I gone any deeper. Sometimes I look at it and feel ashamed for doing it, for trying to throw away my beautiful, special life, and other times I look at it and feel ashamed for missing my real target, my consciousness. I battle with my consciousness a lot, I try to minimise it through drink and drugs or healthy mental exercises, distract it with my media, sublimate it through writing and drawing, but rarely do I get peace from it. Then other times, I count my blessings and praise the universe for bestowing onto me just the ability to think and feel and be a person. Neither approach to life is crazy to me, what’s crazy to me is not being able to bloody pick one and settle on it for more than a couple of days at a time. Like Fyodor describes his character going out into a busy bustling area in his urges to be part of society after a stint of isolation, I will go out some weekends and do the same, but that’s only a more recent, probably more healthy advance in my development than what I have been doing for a long time which is going online to provoke and debate people with my thoughts and opinions, and sometimes cheeky insults. I really resent when people who know me call it ‘trolling’ when I go off on these episodes. Trolling to me is when you put something out there that you don’t actually stand by, but you know will get a reaction out of people because you’re bored and want to mess with people. Now fair enough, there’s a lot to be said for that last part, but I have no reason to say things I don’t really think/feel/believe when the things I say genuinely are enough to upset people on their own, things I sincerely believe are correct. I’ll feel ever so right and convicted during these online tirades, then the next day want to delete all my social media and wipe my name from the planetary database. Perhaps I could just delete my existence while I’m at it. Seems like my self-doubt and my self-assuredness play equal part in my misery, because like everything else, I can’t choose one. The same happens if I go out and meet new people on the weekend, I’ll exchange numbers and add people with all intention of meeting up in the future, only to ghost them afterwards. I don’t know why.

[dreamsofthescreen]

Alluring or Meaningless? - The Ending of Sorrentino’s La Grande Bellezza (The Great Beauty)

Renowned director Paolo Sorrentino's classic 'La Grand Bellezza' mixes the pathos of life with philosophical ideas, but does its ending even have the desired meaning that audiences were expecting?  

Giusi Merli in ‘La Grande Bellezza’

Paolo Sorrentino’s renowned 2013 Italian modern classic, ‘La Grande Bellezza’ (The Great Beauty) was certainly one for the critics to praise highly, yet there is a certain quality to its largely masterful storytelling that can see it lacking in true depth. Where much of the film’s entirety soars, its value seems to get lost amongst its artsy attempt to create meaning, where it really can appear as overdone and quite hollow. If we look at the last 30 minutes of Sorrentino’s work, we as an audience can certainly debate whether there is awe-inspiring significance or just overplayed rhetoric in the ending of La Grand Bellezza. Where whimsical characters and moments are introduced, viewers can be very easily swept up in Sorrentino’s foreign fairytale, where it really can be deemed as just pretentious. Yet, this point is far from black and white, as ‘La Grande Bellezza’s’ meaning is up to the audience to interpret, still making it a favoured and beloved work.

Italian director Paolo Sorrentino’s works have garnered praise for their dramatic and striking visuals, as well as their convoluted plots. He has been compared to Federico Fellini, and certainly does seem to take inspiration from the 1960s film icon. But Sorrentino is certainly no copy of Fellini, as his culturally inspired films do reach audiences well. Yet where The Academy Awards gave it the win for Best Foreign Language Film, and where critics seem to kiss it’s feet, this doesn’t always mean that it is altogether an expert piece of cinema. You can say that the beauty of film is that it can be totally subjective, which, in hand, is what makes such great art. So us as an audience can ask whether we view the film as more so pretentious or philosophical?

‘La Grande Bellezza’ follows former writer & popular socialite Jep Gambardella, a sort of philosophical muse for Sorrentino. As Jep’s life in Rome is consumed by materialism, it isn’t until his 65th birthday that he begins to look inwards. This leads him on a search for ‘the great beauty’, which has him relishing in nostalgia and existential simplicity, audiences closely following behind on that journey with him. The greater part of Sorrentino’s film does successfully have us questioning our place in the world, and where our values lie. Through comparing and contrasting the superficial high life with what’s most important to humanity, we are reminded of our own perspectives on what does and should hold the most substance or meaning.

Toni Servillo in 'La Grande Bellezza'

Yet as Jep has wandered around searching in different areas for beauty in truth and philosophy, his defining moment seems to be towards the end of the film, when he is introduced to Saint, Sister Maria. As Jep is told that she had ‘read his novel & loved it’ years before, we are left open to interpretation to who this Saint may be. Yet the answer in itself is somewhat disappointing. Again, it is not to say that the ending of Sorrentino’s film is wrong or terrible, but is surely very thought provoking.

This moment starts in the last thirty minutes of the film, and we are never given a backstory to Sister Maria when or before she is introduced. And she is introduced, literally, on a pedestal. As she sits there in silence, she wears a dusty, grey-blue nun’s habit, her olive skin lined with deep wrinkles, and expression truly dried out. Members of high society kneel to her, kissing her hands. In the chapel that she sits, there are priests, monks, African tribesmen and all in all, only established figures flocking to her, their eyes wide in honour of her presence. It is as though these figures are all awaiting an answer that they cannot find, and seek out from Maria. Though she is established as a wise old prophet with supposed life-changing aid, what makes her so respectable? She appears as though she has lived three lifetimes and has ‘only granted three interviews in all her life’, yet this alleged messiah altogether utters very little meaning. Sister Maria’s introduction has her appearing as a monumental figure, mostly due to the filmmaking aspects of the scene. In the chapel, lit with a chiaroscuro inspired light, along with medieval Roman Catholic music echoing throughout, with the purpose of warming our hearts. Contemplative looks from across the room, including a black priest, may be there to show the diversity that Maria is surrounded by, as those across the globe seem to adore her. The only interpretation gathered is that Sister Maria is an attempt to create a grandiose moment to close out the film in a profound sense. Yet what I’d gathered of this Saint, is that she lives so austerely that Sorrentino’s ending becomes muddled and pretentious.

As previously mentioned, we are never given a backstory to Sister Maria, but maybe that is the beauty of it that Sorrentino was trying to portray. This icon in the film is looked up to for her granted simplicity. But by portraying something so obscure, Sorrentino’s work doesn’t always appear as interesting, but as an attempt to do so. Is it her goodness or her stripped back way of living that those aspire to? And why does it need to be members of high society that only seek her advice? Wouldn’t Sorrentino’s inclusion of ordinary citizens make it all the more realistic, or relatable and grounded, rather than once again getting caught up in something so grand?

Her grandeur is never explained, to which we can be inspired or simply baffled by the mystery, seeing it as something that creates interest, or just remains pretentious. Yet even if her significance was explained, and made this supposed icon as meaningful as someone like the Pope or Mother Teresa, aren’t we supposed to be inspired by the ordinary and the beauty in simplicity. Isn't the point of 'La Grande Bellezza' to celebrate the simple things in life, rather than an established, worshipped figure? The portrayal of this kooky character tries to make a point towards being so well grounded, that it is absurd. As she speaks to Jep, she asks 'Do you know why I only eat roots?', to which Jep asks why, her response following as, 'Because roots are important'. Now Sister Maria's actions line up with her values and grounded nature, as she genuinely decides to eat roots. This can be seen by some as profoundly inspiring, but is altogether quite a weak attempt to deliver an overly-artistic message. And sure, it isn't all pompous, as there is a great reference to the Catholic influences in Italy and the holy hierarchy of Rome & it’s art. But it is the aureate expression  doesn’t sell it as being moving, but is instead simply too showy.

When sat down at dinner with Jep and his fellow members of Roman high society, Maria is slouching at the head of the table with a vapid expression. The attempt at meaning that Sorrentino has so clearly tried to create is open to interpretation, yet it can be said that this is not one of the his finest writing moments. Sister Maria does not speak a word, and whenever she does, it is a brooding comment that is supposed to hold substance, but instead can be regarded as pretentious. The moment she lifts her head to comment on Jep's novel, all eyes are so enthusiastically on her. Sister Maria does not sleep in a bed, as she finds Rome’s 5 star Hassler hotel, ‘uncomfortable’. Her perspective on life can be seen as purely existential and somewhat nihilistic, or greatly generous. As she works alongside the sick and supports the Third World, her abandonment of any enjoyment and subscription to poverty has us question our place. Is someone really so empathetic that they’ll refuse any comfort, because others are worse off? Again, Sorrentino does succeed in communicating a message that has us asking questions like this, yet the point is too greatly emphasised through the worshipping and dramatically overdone expression of this holy character.

As Jep focuses on switching his hedonism for eudaemonism, his perspective on the finer things in life is the things he used to have, leading him to relish in nostalgia. Sister Maria seems to be an exaggerated symbol of his changing philosophy, as well as a turning point for him to once again write, after abandoning any such creativity for decades.

Something in meeting Sister Maria has Jep retuning to Giglio Island to report on a shipwreck, again, quite symbolic of Jep’s career position, having not written a novel in 40 years. Here, he remembers his first meeting with his first love, to which inspires him to write again. Apparently Sister Maria is the bridge between Jep’s despair & newfound hope.

Paolo Sorrentino's expertly expressive film is a no doubt a masterful passion project that communicates the pathos and joy of the human condition, impacting audiences greatly. Yet Sorrentino's attempt to create something meaningful to close out an already wonderful film filled it with more vanity than it needed. It is an entirely subjective work that involves the audiences thought and we can all interpret it how we see it, which is assuredly a good thing. However, Sorrentino’s quite bombastic ending was just a questionable cliffhanger and didn't line up with the greatness that the first two hours of 'La Grande Bellezza' provided. Though a fantastic feature, Paolo Sorrentino seemed to get too lost in portraying a message so obscurely overdone, that it had somewhat lost it's original meaning.

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[tudorscharlot]

The Falling (Carol Morley, 2014)

This was my second viewing of this film. Right after I watched it for the first time, I read several reviews of it and they were mostly favorable, but - and this really puzzled me - none of them acknowledge the queer element to the relationship between Lydia and Abbie. A couple writers even went out of their way to assert that there was definitely nothing romantic between them. The common view seems to be that Lydia is just platonically fixated on her confident, sexually adventurous friend. Which is silly. I'm certainly not trying to force any particular subtext or theme on this work of art, but there is no way that there is not a romantic element to Lydia and Abbie’s relationship! Even though that isn't the whole deal between them by a long shot. But Lydia doesn’t want to be Abbie. She just wants Abbie.

From the way that they speak to each other, I don't think that they have a sexual relationship and I don't know that they are even at a point of explicitly naming what is between them. I know that girls are generally more comfortable being physically affection with one another than boys, so I'm not saying that their being so cuddly with each other must "mean" anything more than an expression of their friendship. But Lydia is jealous and sexually possessive of Abbie. And the way they hold hands and lie together, the way they talk about their relationship, and just the way they physically are when they are in the same place puts them in a space somewhere between two girls who are close friends and two young women who are something else, too. Lydia is very serious and reserved and Abbie is more free and impulsive. But Abbie seems to care more than she lets on and despite doing things that inflame Lydia’s jealousy. It would be wrong to say that whatever Lydia is feeling is unrequited. It's just not requited in as obvious or monogamous a way.

There is a lot going on in this film, and I don’t know if it’s completely successful in saying everything it has to say. I find the last 15 minutes a little upsetting and I'm especially not sure if I think the ending lands. But I love this movie, and I love it enough to feel like the things that feel incongruous or wrong to me right now might come to make more sense as I continue to think about it (and with another viewing).

SPOILER ALERT How about all of that falling? Abbie faints and dies - which, by the way, is horrifying. It’s a punch in the gut to lose one of our story’s heroes 30 minutes into the film, and it really caught me off-guard and upset me the first time I saw it. Gosh. So Abbie falls and is gone, and then all the other girls start fainting all the time. There's ambiguity over whether or not some medical epidemic has struck the girls, whether they are experiencing some kind of psychosomatic sympathy for their friend that feels real to them but has no physical basis, or whether they are just knowingly faking it. If they are knowingly faking it, is it in childish (by which I mean pure-hearted) solidarity or is it less noble attention-seeking behavior? Some of the girls faint in a pretty believable way and some of them are pretty theatrical about it, from the beginning and the whole time it's happening. And then of course Lydia admits she was always only faking it.

What really struck me on the second viewing is that this part of the story is simply a portrait of the reality of life for teenage girls. All of the girls are mourning a shocking death. It's shocking to lose someone in your small peer-group at that age. But against the backdrop of a private school in 1960s England, they aren't really given time or space to grieve as children. They're forced to keep putting on their long skirts and pretend that life is going on like normal. So when the opportunity arises (prompted by the socially non-compliant best friend of their dead friend) to act out (and I guess I mean that both in terms of theater acting and misbehaving) in imitation of and tribute to Abbie, they almost all take it.

They should be allowed to STOP and process what just happened, but they aren't. So they find their own way to stop and mourn and let the adults know that they are in pain and are confused and that they (the girls) are connected to one another. And I really like that we are shown that Lydia and some of the other girls are faking it while some of the girls maintain that it is real. This part of the film does such a great job of illustrating the importance of taking the feelings of children seriously, even if the feelings are not about things that you think are serious. And the importance of recognizing that sometimes young people don't have the vocabulary to articulate what's wrong. Whatever is going on with each girl individually, they all double down when the adults refuse to believe that what they are experiencing is real. Further, I love this portrait of solidarity. They all rally together rather than ostracizing Lydia or conforming to the demands of their teachers out of fear of punishment. Their instinct is to draw to one another. I love this beautiful story of girls being together with each other.

I don't really know what the fuck is up with Lydia's family and their relationships with one another. The mom is the only character who feels like a caricature, and I'm not sure how to rectify her with the rest of the film. The reveal that Lydia was conceived when the mom was raped and the mom resents her for resembling her rapist is...a lot. And the consummated sibling incest is even more a lot. Perhaps Lydia is drawn to her brother because her brother had sex with Abbie right before she died and that feels like a way for her to be close to Abbie. She is also just in a state of nihilistic despair and not thinking or acting clearly. Maybe it is appropriate to do the Midsommar thing and view this part of the film as being like a fairy tale. It certainly is horrifying if taken literally. And the final scene by the river, I’m realizing right now that this whole last act has big echoes of the last act of Bergman’s Through a Glass Darkly. And like “Papa spoke to me” in that film, this moment between Lydia and her mom under the tree feels like it doesn’t quite hit the way the author wants it to.

I guess there are three stories: Lydia and Abbie's complex relationship, the epidemic of fainting among the girls after Abbie dies, and Lydia's damaged relationship with her mother and brother. The first two stories fit together very well. The third one doesn't fit very well. Maybe they don't have all fit together to still work as a film. And maybe they'll fit together better when I watch it again. Or maybe Carol Morley just tried to put too many things in this film and fucked up her third act.

END SPOILERS

A lot of this film is perfect, though. The music in general is good, but the scene where the girls’ alternative orchestra is playing gives me chills. That piece of music and the footage of them playing and singing it is beautiful and an unexpected step into a dream. (That little wooden xylophone that Lydia plays is a delight when heard through headphones.) Obviously Florence Pugh is great in this, and it was such a treat rewatching this having seen her work in Midsommar and Little Women. But Maisie Williams is the real revelation in this film. I watched all of Game of Thrones and the main thing I took away from that series is that the true stars on there were Peter Dinklage and Maisie Williams. Williams, as a person, has such intelligence and intensity, and she plays this role in a way that I don’t think any other actor could.  Anyway, The Falling is a beautiful and puzzling film. Here’s to the next viewing.

[inkjackets]

City Lights and Wine

Here is my piece written for @theninozine! Go check out the whole thing HERE! And a huge thanks to @thelastpilot for organising and putting it together!

AO3

‘Wayzz!’ Nino yelled, excitement thrumming through him. ‘Where are you?’

It had been two years since Wayzz had first been given to him by Ladybug, and he was now Nino’s permanent companion. They were the best of buds and made a great team, though the little god still struggled occasionally with Nino’s rebellious nature.

Wayzz hesitantly peeked out of his hiding place in the bookshelf. ‘Master, are you sure you want to do this? Won’t you get in trouble for breaking the rules?’

‘Nah, li’l dude! My fam won’t even know I’m gone.’ Nino gave him a mini noogie and Wayzz couldn’t help but giggle. ‘Besides, you know Adrien needs this more than I do.’

Wayzz struggled to argue with that. The stress of exams had eaten away at everyone this year. But with his father’s pressures only increasing and his schedule growing evermore busy, Adrien hadn’t been coping well.

Wayzz exhaled as he took in Nino’s pleading eyes, failing to hide his smile. ‘Oh, very well then.’

‘Yes, Wayzz!’ Nino exclaimed, pumping the air with his fist. ‘Shell On!’

~~~

Nino stood at the base of the Eiffel Tower, Wayzz tucked safely under his cap, and smiled. Summer was here and he loved it. The city bustled with late-night Parisians and tourists alike, the air was lovely and warm — not too humid and no cold breeze, and the atmosphere was fun and relaxed. He breathed it all in and waited for Adrien to arrive. 

The two of them had been planning this night for a while now. Adrien had let slip that he’d never been out late in town, or rather, his father had never let him, and Nino had been outraged. So they’d come up with a plan to sneak out and meet up.

Nino’s smile widened when he spotted Adrien moving through the crowds, a look of awe on his face as he took in the glittering city around him. He laughed when Adrien spied him, waved enthusiastically, and ran over.

The two boys embraced each other. 

‘Nino, this is amazing!’ Adrien breathed as he stepped back. 

‘Summer evenings; I tell you it’s when Paris comes alive, man.’

‘I know, like I’ve looked down on the world like this before, but to actually be a part of it…’ He shook his head and stared hungrily at the sights around him. ‘It’s amazing!’

‘And tonight, it’s all ours!’

Nino grinned as Adrien’s eyes blazed.

Nino’s smile never left Adrien’s face as he watched his friend drink in the vibrant world around him. Adrien’s grin was infectious and it lit up the night as they explored the city; wandering through the busy streets, eating ice creams and crepes, chatting and laughing and simply enjoying themselves for the first time in a long time. 

At one point in the night, Nino pulled out a bottle of wine from his bag. He had laughed as Adrien spluttered saying there’s no way he would be allowed to drink that.

‘We’re seventeen!’ Nino had cried out, ‘We need to be a little rebellious!’

‘Maybe my father was right when he said you’re a bad influence.’

‘Hell yeah, he was!’

Both boys had burst out laughing.

Nino felt the stress of the last few months melt away as they revelled in the evening air. He could tell Adrien felt the same too. He hadn’t seen his friend this alive in a long time; eyes alight and full of a carefree energy that came with being drunk on city lights. And maybe a bit of wine.

Eventually, the boys found themselves sitting on the walls next to the Seine, gazing out at the shifting water, lights casting strange but alluring patterns on its surface. The relaxed sounds of people chatting drifted over and the gentle pounding of music bled out from the bars and clubs and into the evening air. It was a beautiful night.

Nino picked up the bottle of wine sat between them and took a sip. Adrien fell onto his back with a sigh and smiled up at the stars. 

Nino lay down next to him and turned his gaze to the night sky. It was a surprisingly clear night for the city; a patch of stars shone overhead and a few stubborn ones glimmered further out. The light pollution illuminated the horizon in a soft orange glow, adding its own strange beauty to the darkness.

‘One day,’ Adrien said softly, ‘I’d like to get out of the city, go to the middle of nowhere, and see the stars for real.’ Nino nodded in agreement. ‘Did you know,’ Adrien continued,’ without the light pollution we’d see about two-thousand stars.’ Nino whistled. They both fell silent.

‘Hey, you know how the sun we see is from about eight minutes ago?’ Adrien piped up once more, ‘Well that star there? Sirius? It’s from eight years ago.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Crazy right? And the furthest star that’s ever been observed, called Icarus, is nine-billion light-years away! Scientists saw it at a time where our galaxy didn’t even exist yet!’

Nino sat up and stared at Adrien, dumbstruck. ‘I don’t even know if I understand what you just said.’ Adrien laughed before sitting up and reaching for the wine. ‘How do you know all this?’ Nino asked, amazed.

Adrien took a swig from the bottle and shrugged. ‘I had a huge space phase when I was little. Couldn’t get enough of it. I like legit wanted to be an astronaut,’ he smiled to himself. 

‘What changed your mind?’ Nino asked.

Adrien’s smiled slipped. ‘Nothing, really. I just don’t have a choice anymore.’ He gazed out at the river and took another little sip of wine. Nino’s heart fell.

‘Okay but say you did have a choice,’ Nino asked. ‘Would you still want to be an astronaut?’

Adrien thought about it for a moment. ‘You know, I think I wouldn’t mind being a professor. My father’s pressure ruins it a little, but I actually like studying. It’s something I can just throw myself into, and forget about real-life responsibilities for a while.’ He spun the bottle in his hands. ‘That was the one benefit of being homeschooled. I could study pretty much whatever I wanted and just lose myself to it. And part of the whole space thing was that I loved learning about places that were far from home. It was like, a form of escapism, discovering all the amazing things in the world, in the universe.’ He looked down at the wine bottle and sighed. ‘I dunno, it sounds kinda nihilistic I guess, but it’s comforting knowing that what’s going on at home isn’t the end of the world. That there’s more to life than just the Agreste brand.’ Silence swirled between them. Adrien lifted the bottle to his lips and took a sip.

‘I have the same deal with music,’ Nino said eventually.

Adrien shifted his head to look at his friend. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Nino went oddly quiet. ‘It helps me escape the world. Or rather, it lets me create my own worlds. Worlds where I can be free. I dunno, places where I can just be, without scorn or judgement… you get me?’

Silence fell between them and the stars twinkled down on them as both boys got lost in their thoughts.

‘Remove the “dunno” and that’s some solid lyrics right there,’ Adrien said. 

Nino laughed and gestured at Adrien to give him the wine bottle.  He took a swig, letting the rough tannin of the wine rinse out the bitterness in his mouth. 

‘Is everything all right, Nino?’ Adrien asked softly.

Nino looked up. Adrien’s eyes were warm and filled with concern.

He hesitated. ‘I’ve just been doing a lot of soul-searching lately.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Nino said quietly, not saying anything more.

The water lapped gently at their feet.

‘Well, you know I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk about it,’ Adrien said gently.

Nino gave him a smile of appreciation. ‘Thanks man, I mean it.’

The boys fell into silence once more, but their silence wasn’t quiet. Laughter and music drifted down from the street behind them and the soft hum of cars reverberated from across the river. The city lights shone brighter than the stars and lit the world gold, their reflections merging and blurring on the river’s surface as it lapped beneath their feet; its soothing noises lulling the boys into contented peace. Yet still, a knot tied itself in Nino’s stomach. He closed his eyes and breathed in the warm summer air. It smelt of fruit, and heat, and friendship. He should tell Adrien now, he really should. He stretched his fingers and sighed. But it was scary. He turned his focus back to the glittering world around him before looking at Adrien, at his friend’s easy smile and untroubled expression. 

A wicked glint appeared in Nino’s eye.

‘So,’ Nino asked, faking casualness as he broke the silence, ‘How’s everything with Marinette?’ 

Adrien blanched. Nino grinned.

‘I don’t know,’ Adrien groaned, ‘I messed up, man. I messed up big time! I can’t believe she had a massive crush on me for like, two years and I didn’t realise!’

‘How did you not know?’ Nino cackled, rocking back and holding his sides.

‘Cause I’m an idiot!’ Adrien cried to the river. ‘You hear that? I’m an idiot!’ Nino howled with laughter as the water lapped the walls indifferently. ‘But then! But then!’ Adrien continued, ‘You wanna hear what’s worse?’ 

Nino giggled into the wine bottle, ‘She falls for someone else?’

‘SHE FALLS FOR SOMEONE ELSE!’ Adrien flopped onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes. ‘Right as I fall for her.’ Nino patted Adrien’s head, still chuckling. ‘I don’t even know who this mystery lover is,’ he said.

‘Beats me,’ Nino shook his head. ‘She turns bright red every time I ask her. Not even Alya’s been able to get it out of her.’

Adrien sat back up and reached for the wine bottle. ‘Ugh, my love life is too depressing.’ He took a big mouthful of wine. ‘Let’s talk about yours instead. How’s everything going with Alya?’

‘It’s…it’s going well.’ Nino winced. He hadn’t meant for his words to come out so sombre.

Adrien shifted his head. ‘Is something wrong?’

‘No, no, Alya and I are fine. More than that actually. We’re in a great place.’

Adrien cocked his head to the side. ‘Then why do I get the feeling you aren’t telling me something?’

Nino gave a wry smile. ‘Because I’m not telling you something.’ His smile dropped. 

‘You want to talk about it?’

Yes? No. I don’t know,’ he hesitated, ‘I do but… I don’t know.’

The silence swelled between them, broken only by the splashing of water and the gentle background noises of people partying and enjoying the beautiful summer night.

Adrien didn’t say anything, but Nino felt his support and comfort fill the space between them.

Again, it was the perfect moment; the moment he’d been waiting so long for. If he didn’t do it now, he didn’t think he ever would. And that thought terrified him.

Nino’s throat grew tight and his heart thumped in his chest. He inhaled deeply and prepared to lay his heart out bare.

‘Hey, Adrien?’ his voice was low and trusting and held the weight of the world.

‘Yeah?’

‘I’m bi.’

Adrien gave a soft smile, ‘Oh.’

‘Don’t tell anyone, okay? I’m not ready for the world to know yet.’

‘Okay,’ Adrien said simply.

‘What…What do you think?’

‘What do I think?’ Nino felt the tension break inside him as Adrien’s heartwarming smile lit him up from the inside. ‘Nino, you’re my best friend. I love you.’

Nino felt a lump rise in his throat. ‘Thanks, man. I love you too.’

Adrien passed him the bottle and Nino downed the last of the wine.

‘Woo!’ he cried as he planted the empty bottle down. ‘What do you wanna do now?’

Adrien’s eyes widened with surprise. ‘Our night isn’t over yet?’

‘Hell no, our night is just beginning!’

Nino blinked in worried surprise as tears appeared in Adrien’s eyes.

‘Thanks for this night, Nino. I really needed it,’ Adrien said quietly.

Nino pulled Adrien in and embraced him. ‘Right back at you, bro,’ he said, holding him tight. ‘This has honestly been one of the best nights of my life.’

[less-than-hash]

The Principia Discordia

The Pillars fan Discord reached out with the following:

Dear Alex, During our conversations on character of Vatnir in Pillars of Eternity: Deadfire on Discord for this game we found ourselves having some questions. We allowed ourselves to create this list of general questions:  Does Vatnir actually likes anything? Would anything make him happy? Those questions became an issue especially after publication of “Seeker, Slayer, Survivor” and “Forgotten Sanctum”, where he constantly presents comments of displeasure, boredom, nihilism, resentment etc. and actually almost none of positive feelings (aside Watcher getting bitten by the machine in the FS). That also made some of us question, if he even likes to travel, as You have told on PAX panel. Would he be interested/willing to be presented to Giacolo and/or his procedure? Also what is his attitude towards other godlike (aside or including Tekehu)? Some of us question, why they care for such an ass? 

My (spoiler-light-but-not-free) thoughts are behind the cut.

I can’t speak for people caring or not caring about Vatnir - honestly, I’m often surprised by the way people respond to him. Making a lovable character was never one of our goals with Vatnir. We wanted him to be complicated but understandable, amoral but sympathetic. Amoral because it was important to us that he be a priest who never judges the player’s actions (from a moralistic standpoint).

He makes a lot of jokes - albeit dark jokes - even when he’s complaining, and part of that is to keep him sympathetic. He’s not so negative and nihilistic that he can’t find humor in things.

(I particularly like his response to being petted by Fetid spray, or this, which can occur when the doors shut on the player party in Forgotten Sanctum, locking them out of the greater part of the structure near its entrance.)

I also think that he does try to be helpful and useful - it’s just that that helpfulness is filtered through the lens of his religion, his physical and emotional suffering, and his cowardice. 

He’s not always complaining about delving into ancient ruins filled with monsters only because he doesn’t want to be there - he doesn’t think anyone else should be there, either. There’s plenty of adventures to be had that don’t involve giant tentacle monsters.

He doesn’t express existential philosophies out of pure selfishness, but because he believes others should accept and internalize them towards the betterment of their spirit - he is a priest, after all!

Cowardice is a cornerstone of Vatnir’s character. He likes traveling, but he doesn’t enjoy putting himself at unnecessary risk, especially at risk of suffering and pain, which he feels like he gets plenty of anyway. And note that despite that cowardice, he still follows the Watcher into these places he clearly doesn’t want to be. He’s loyal, and he’s (kind of) stalwart.

Since the DLCs are primarily about dungeon-delving and fighting, the player primarily experiences Vatnir in that context. Not at his best, I’d argue. If we’d been able to add more base game lines for him in places like, say, Neketaka, he might seem a bit less of a negative ass.

He’s much more relaxed, for example, during his exchange with Vela.

In the beautiful, magical world where we got to do a fully-fleshed personal quest for Vatnir beyond what’s in Beast of Winter, I’d have pitched focusing it on giving him a tour of the Deadfire, showing him little beautiful things and the like. Maybe take him to the Teotara Marvel. Something pleasant and meditative and life-affirming.

This would almost certainly not actually get into the game in that form. There’s a (not unreasonable) expectation of combat and treasure from quests, especially those related to major characters such as the companions.

Once actually in a fight, however, he quickly accepts it and pulls his weight. In general, and as a result of his fatalism, he’s quick to accept misfortune - because of course terrible shit was going to happen. And when it does, you’ve got to push through it if you want to survive. If you’re looking for another positive aspect of the character, I’d say you can find it there - Vatnir is persistent and possessed of great fortitude.

As for the other two godlikes, I think he’s got far more in common with Pallegina than with Tekēhu. One could argue that he’s an anti-Tekēhu, a creature so brutalized by his life that he’s become rather callous. 

He’s also significantly older than either of the other two. I don’t think we nail down his age, but he’s probably older (in terms of raw years) than any other companion save Ydwin. And all of that time was spent in inhospitable climes among the company of fundamentalist Rymrgand cultists. And as an Endings Godlike.

And regarding Giacolo? I think Vatnir’s probably well beyond the animancer‘s aid. I don’t recall whether or not we go into it, but I suspect that extracting a godlike’s chime late in life could have a pretty negative effect on them. Even so, it wouldn’t undo Vatnir’s godlike features - though perhaps some of the sores might close and the infections clear up. 

Disclaimer: The above is not canon. There’s every possibility Obsidian’ll contradict that in some future game.

If he could be transformed from a godlike into a pale elf, however, I suspect he’d accept that offer in an instant. He’s in constant, significant pain, and I think he’d feel no compunction about taking almost any action to relieve himself of it.

That said, he has no particular feelings about godlikes as a “species.” He doesn’t consider them particularly blessed, nor does he find them frightening or off-putting. They’re simply a part of the world - inevitable.

I joked during the PAX panel that there’s a lot of myself in Vatnir, and while I don’t really think that’s actually true, I do think that there are aspects of him that are informed by my depression. Vatnir has this dark pain, this gaping emptiness within, both physical and spiritual, that gnaws at him. Every moment. Of every day. And that dulls the world to a person. It can reduce to them the world to its most unpleasant aspects.

There’s no small extent, I think, to which Vatnir’s fatalism and dourness is a coping mechanism that doesn’t fully reflect his inner life. It’s clear from listening to him that he was miserable in the White that Wends and would never want to return, but at the same time, he defends it against Ydwin’s insults and is deeply unimpressed with her embrace of other cultures. He clearly has affection for his homeland and culture, buried under all that frost and pus. 

Hope this was helpful? <3 <3 <#

[thecorteztwins]

🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊!!!!! Scream about them!!

WOW THAT’S A LOT I’ll talk about two, Ashti and AverySo I have a ton of old OCs but I’d rather talk about the new ones I started making this year after like 4-5 years of not making them anymore.

ASHTI YILMAZHer family are Yazidi Kurds living in Germany, grandparents originally are from TurkeyTender, wistful, melancholy, manipulative, explosive. Far more emotional than logical, and quick to let her bleeding heart and overpowering passion take her reins, whether in sympathy or anger. Easy to hurt, tease, and rile. Prone to sulking, pouting, and brooding, but can shout too when pushed far enough. Has strong feelings, but these make it hard for her to take a strong stance on complicated matters, since her emotions get pulled both ways. Always feels a little out of place. Beats herself up over little things. Fancies herself the mom friend but actually needs a mom friend. Moody, immature, unconditionally supportive. Will say awful things she doesn’t mean in anger and prone to emotional blackmail when upset. Fatalistic, often just accepts that powers that be must have a plan, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it. Warm but wary; always friendly to new people externally, but inside she's on the lookout for any sign they dislike her or are making fun of her, which sometimes leads her to read too much into innocent remarks or innocuous expressions. Feels more experienced than people from more privileged lives and groups, but also like they’re smarter and more accomplished. Ashti definitely has very normative ideas about gender. Nothing exceptional, just common generalizations like women are more emotional, little boys like the physical play, men can be total brutes whereas women attack with cattiness, etc. She’s also prone to romantization of bad relationships, like that jealousy means passion, control means protection, and sticking together through all your fights proves how strong your love is instead of calling it quits. This not only means she is likely to get into and stay in toxic relationships herself, but give her friends dangerous advice to do the same when they come to her with romantic troubles Unsurprisingly, she has a tendency toward tortured bad boys and getting her heart trod on. She has a complicated relationship with her culture. On the one hand, she's proud of it and defiant against any forces that try to take away or erase it. She wants to learn more about it. On the other hand, she hates that feels she HAS to learn about it, that as a tiny minority it's on her shoulders to keep carrying this legacy or risk letting it die. And she hates that all she seems to learn is about how much other people hate her, about massacres and genocides and camps and gas, no about joy and triumphs and great works of art like everyone else seems to get to have in their background. That stuff is there too, but sometimes it seems like it's just entirely overshadowed by the ongoing history of persecution, and she doesn't WANT that, she doesn't want to be defined by the SUFFERING of her people rather than their accomplishments. And she wonders, if she has to learn so much of her own culture from books, since so much of it was torn from her family long before her parents were even born and thus they couldn't teach it to her, is it really even hers? Like, really? If she has to learn it in the same way that a non-Kurd would, is she really culturally Kurdish, or just genetically? Where's the line? And can she really count HERSELF as persecuted? Her PEOPLE have suffered terribly, but if she's never been the victim of anything truly bad or overt, does she have the right to speak on that suffering and claim it by extension? One of her biggest flaws is she doesn't know her flaws. She thinks her flaws are being insecure, emotional, and loving too much. And these aren't untrue. But she's missing a whole lot of the less flattering, less endearing aspects of her personality.Dislikes when people think they (or someone else) is a good person just because they are loyal and kind to their friends, family, teammates, etc. Even genocidal dictators usually treat their own well; what really shows who you are is how you treat those who are different from you, those who disagree with you, those that you don’t know, those that you will lose nothing by mistreating?Also dislikes: Shitty apologies, they send her into an instant screaming rage * Line cutters * When people look down at fast food workers, custodians, etc., and clearly have no courtesy or respect for them (ex: carelessly leaving huge messes) * Beautiful sand sculptures because they get destroyed so fast, it actually upsets her that something that took so much talent and care is going to be so transient * Gorillas, they're scary and she's no Fay Wray * Big trucks, they make her nervousLikes: wild honeysuckle, strong tea, sweet coffee, sleepy gray cats, old patchwork quilts with a story, dark storms at sea, bright sunshine after heavy rain, rose and lavender flavored things, mountains (but not climbing them), he sight of old abandoned cottage houses overgrown with grass and vines. She’s always on the side of the common masses against those in power, but it’d be a lie to say she didn’t watch Sofia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette “ on wistful repeat or secretly fantasize about somehow being the lost Princess Anastasia Romanov. She also loves "Beauty & the Beast" stories like "Labyrinth" and "Phantom of the Opera" about powerful and kinda evil men obsessed with beautiful naive young ingenues. Loves photos of skeletons that are embracing in their final moments, not as in props but real remains of people were found holding each other as they died, such as The Lovers of Valdaro Would love to be a model or a beauty blogger, glamorous jobs with no imagined effort where people would love her and see her as pretty. As it is she has a job as a receptionist at a ritzy spa called Tranquility.She can pop her wrists out of place, and paints/dyes silk scarves as a hobby.There’s a history of mental illness in her mother’s family, it’s never been officially diagnosed, they just say they’re “emotional” and “passionate” but actually it’s probably something more along the lines of bipolar or borderline, and Ashti isn’t affected but her mother was to a degree and her sister to an even greater one and it caused a huge rift in the family that the dynamic has never really recovered from. AVERY RUE UNDERWOODWhite American trans girl, goth/grunge, pretty much constantly dresses in the same uniform of a black slip dress with a black hoodie or flannel, or some variation on this. She has tattoos of the alchemical symbols for sulfur, salt, arsenic, and mercury, chosen for their metaphorical meanings rather than scientific. Salt, mercury, and sulfur are in her back, down the length of her spine. Arsenic is above her groin. Neutral and detached, but not disinterested or apathetic, Avery approaches most everything from a position of laidback philosophical ease. When things are too tough that it gets through even her robotic shell, she disengages externally and seems ever more the automaton, while actually dwelling on the matter for days or more internally. She can recite "Cassilda's Song" by heart, and talk for hours about the racism and insanity of Lovecraft, and how both these things are misunderstood and misconstrued equally by his devotees and detractors alike. Her icon is Mommy Fortuna from The Last Unicorn, who chose her death and kept it close to her, caged and hers til the end when it tore her to pieces--welcomed by her with open arms, still hers, hers forever.Collects antique silver plated hair brushes. She thinks a lot about how everyone has a life and internal thoughts and we just don’t know we can never really know another person. She likes to go to lonely personal blogs and Twitter accounts and the like and just follow. She rarely “likes” and even more rarely comments, she just wants to watch this little window into a random life that doesn’t have an audience to be performing for like the big accounts. Maybe it’s creepy and voyeuristic but she feels such a strange tenderness for these screen names that she never speaks too. They’re human souls, every one of them. And maybe there’s no God to hear them, but she does. Studies existentialist, nihilist, and absurdist philosophy. She learns less towards the middle, more towards the other two. Morbid and macabre she might be, but she's an idealist at her core. Some of her other interests include obscure mental disorders (Cotatd’s delusion, Capgras syndrome) , photos of the decomposition process, and the historical use of plants as both cures and poisons. She feels kinship with carrion-eaters like buzzards and hyenas, society sees them as disgusting and evil but they play an integral part in the ecosystem She believes that existence precedes essence. So she doesn't believe she was born with a female soul or anything like that. She just doesn't believe she was born with a male one either. She ended up with a female one, and she's going to facilitate that further, is what she believes. But she also doesn't think of her transition as becoming her real self, so much as taking away everything that wasn’t “her” so that only her real self is there. Like how Michaelangelo said he didn’t make David from the marble, David was already there, he just took away everything that wasn’t David. These two views contradict each other, but she works with it. She's got room for contradictions.She’s bisexual, but when she’s with women, she feels like a pervert or predator next to a “real” girl. When she’s with men, she feels like they’re the perverts, and she prefers that. She prefers feeling degraded to feeling predatory. Basically sex is going to suck for her one way or another due to her dysphoria and she’d rather it suck in the way that doesn’t make her feel like the bad guy.Her family is best described as "neutral" in terms of acceptance. They're not at all hateful, and barely questioned her decision, but they're not involved closely enough with her to be really called "supportive" at all. Everyone in her clan, including herself, are too wrapped up in their own lives to really care one way or the other about each other's, and she's good with that. She prefers it. She'd rather not be interviewed, even from people trying to be helpful; this is deeply personal to her and she finds it invasive. She is pretty good at “being the bigger person “ and not escalating things in a conflict, if only because she just doesn’t give enough of a shit to. She tolerates getting yelled at, even undeservedly, really well. She’d be brilliant in retail, she can cope with Karens all day long and not snap or get worn down. Apathy is a hell of a shield.She doesn’t hold on to people, this is good and bad. On the one hand, it means she escapes jealousy and co-dependency and needing anybody. On the other hand, some people feel it makes her disloyal or uncaring. But she's an island, and she accepts the transience of life.She doesn’t seek outside validation or feel the need to be seen as right even when she knows she is. This has allowed her to avoid a lot of arguments and stress.She might not fear violence from a philosophical viewpoint, but she sure does in her natural animal instincts. This makes her edgy around certain demographics. Straight men, religious people, right-wingers, those sorts of groups. You could argue that she's unfairly stereotyping them, much as others have unfairly stereotyped her and people like her. Sure, fair enough, but she'd still rather avoid getting her head bashed in as much as she can. It's not that everyone in these groups is a violent bigot, it's just if there's going to be a violent bigot, they're statistically more likely to be in these groups. Like when was the last time you heard of a transgender woman being murdered by a liberal lesbian atheist, right? So yeah, she's stereotyping. But she'd rather be alive and a "reverse bigot" than fair-minded and dead. She's not THAT much of nihilist.Avery’s self esteem is best defined as contrarian, taking pride in herself more based on what she’s not rather than what she is, and playing Devil’s Advocate to her own ego. She’s the first to admit that not being something bad is not the same as being something good, and in fact tends to disdain those who do the same as she does and praise themselves simply for not being fascists or bigots or abusers, but it seems like the best she can successfully argue to herself.She's completely non-judgemental of things a lot of people would find weird or creepy. Like, you write human/dinosaur a/b/o erotica? Cool, she'll edit it if you want. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, go for it LIKES:* Urban legends, occultism, cryptids, preserved oddities, the unknown* Deep seas, the night sky, vast storms, huge caves, eternal forests* The crowded isolation of the city at night* Abandoned buildings* The sigh and feel of old velvet and raw silk* Deep sea creatures and weird starfish and giant squids * Hozier, The Sisters of Mercy, Cocteau Twins, Black Tape For A Blue Girl, lo-fi, dreampop, shoegaze, every Lumineers song that has a girl's name as the title, and obscure local alternative bands that the art college radio stations only play late at night* Djarum Black clove cigarettes* Symbolist paintings (especially "Salome" and "Sisyphus" and "The Sin" by Franz Stuck)* Angela Carter, Caitlin R. Kiernan, T.K. Kingfisher, and Nabokov's lesser-known novels like Pnin and Pale FireDISLIKES* Pettiness* The smell of smoking meat, it makes her nauseous, and she's never been able to stomach a steak* Trimmed lawns and pruned gardens* The hypocritical pretentiousness so commonly found in any “alternative “ scene* So-called "horror movies" that are really just gross-out torture porn* Creepypastas that over-explain or don't know when to end* People who pride themselves on "sticking to their guns no matter what" as that seems to her to just be another way of saying they never listen to other opinions or new information because they're so sure in their own rightness* People who forget that everyone else has as much depth and life as themselves, you’re not the protagonist and these aren’t NPCs in a game* Avery is an Aquarius and even though she doesn’t believe in astrology, she still likes reading about it, and it bugs her that her sign is classed as “positive “ and “masculine"* Misuse of the term "social construct"WEAKNESSES* Gives up easily; her transition is really the only difficult thing she's ever stuck with* Navel gazing, over-thinking, gets lost in her own head* Can't make a hard decision quickly* Insomniac* Loses track of time easily* Messy slob, her apartment is DISGUSTING, don't ever be roomies with this girl* She doesn't own a car, but she can drive. She just can't park. She's terrible at parking. She goes in crooked, she goes over the line, she has to pull out and go in again a million times to get it right. STRENGTHS* Comfort with solitude, doesn't get lonely* Equally at ease with both existentialism and nihilism* A veritable whiz with subway routes and schedules* Doesn't sweat the small stuff* Hopeful at her core

[eng-hypnosismic]

Spoon 2Di vol.40 Interview (Komada Wataru)

Please get the spoon magazine and get your hypmic poster and support the original!! 

Yokohama Division’s mediator, Iruma Juto, as played by Komada Wataru-san. He was asked on how he delivered Juto’s unique high-tension rap style, also on how he approached this project and an outlook to the character.

How do you feel about the huge amount of responses to the project lately?

Since we started the project with a “full-fledged rap”, we ourselves also had an uneasy feeling and was not sure if people would accept it. So we were really surprised to hear that the response was bigger than we imagined. “Hypnosis Microphone” is divided into 4 divisions: for example, Yokohama Division had rappers who’re actually from Yokohama to collaborate in making the songs, etc; they even included sounds that has the characteristics of Ikebukuro. We got comments like “they made it so particular” from fans of hip-hop, which makes me really happy. Also this was from the early days of the project, but hearing things like “that sounds fun” or “I want to try that” from our industry makes me glad.

Was Komada-san familiar with hip hop before the project?

I grew up in Germany, and the hip hop culture there is more active than in Japan so I was familiar to it as a listener. Therefore in this project, I tried to create the feeling and sounds from the hip hop I’ve listened to before.

It is said that there was an audition, how did you feel at that time?

If its an idol project, idol songs are like the set piece. But, for Hypnosis Mic it was a reggae song. Moreover, rather than the hook, I was tested on doing an unique melody line. I think it’s for seeing our vibes and rhythem, which was new to me. Perhaps there’re roles that are already designated during the audition, but I was given rough illustrations of the characters, setting guidelines and also the freedom to choose. Among the ones I was interested in were Busujima Mason Riou, Arisugawa Dice and Iruma Juto. I feel an affinity to Riou, thinking how nice it is to let him use English, and as for Dice I never played a character as easygoing as him. But, the character I’m used with are always the intellectual ones wearing glasses. Although Juto is usually cold-hearted and cool, when he raps he goes on a sudden change so I thought that he is very interesting. It’s not favorable to play the same role twice (laugh), but at least I have a character that I can draw new experiences from..

After your role was decided, how did you build your character?

When I actually started playing [Juto], I still got very little of detailed information about him. Because of that, I got myself several patterns, thinking  “Maybe it’ll feel like this?”.  Those things I came up with, I use as a base, so when I rap I asked on how far should I go on making Juto’s sudden change. Since I was told that he can become a totally different person , I went all out with the rap out. And by nature, I have a powerful voice. So those who listened to the song would say “Juto seems energetic!” (laughs).. But if the tension is to that extent, it is a success to me. When I hear the song, I realized that I challenged myself too much on coming up for something different, so I couldn’t imagine the usually cool Juto.

How were the song recordings?

Whichever content the demo song was given, Hypnosis Mic will make the demo song sound good. It really makes you think, “Isn’t this good enough already?!” (laughs). Since I was influenced like that, once I check the rhythm and rhyme stanzas, I try to face the character without listening to the sound. The rap part doesn’t have a music score, so it is free to insert or take something out. But to get compliments from fans of hip hop,  it is important to have a lot of practice.  Therefore, I listened to a lot of rap patterns that includes freestyle, and made certain rules within myself for the sake of that rap feeling. I think other cast are doing this as well, so everyone gets better every recording, and has a stronger grasp of what to do.

In the Niconama Rap Battle, you showed off your freestyle, didn’t you?

That’s right! That was pretty harsh (laughs). “Will we be given a script?” was what I thought, but we were really told to freestyle. So in order to deal with the responses during the live performance, we were sweating on our foreheads in the dressing room, desperately thinking of lyrics.

But you guys seemed to do it without any difficulty, you guys really are amazing.

We face difficulty all the time! (laughs). But, to take a rhythm and put words to it , it seemed so far away since the first time so it’s fun to accept the challenge. “Thanks, Hypmic!”, kind of feeling (laughs).

So, what do you feel about Yokohama Division’s team, MAD TRIGGER CREW?

Fierce, they give a strong impression of aggressiveness. As of now, they don’t only chop very fast rhymes but their choices of words are the utmost violent, and the characters are placed in the most rough environment. Maybe physically, they’re the strongest team. Since they live in that kind of unforgiving environment, it seems like that is where their sharp piercing words and sounds came from. Their occupation is all over the place too….. I don’t even know if I should call it their occupation as well. (laughs).  

In the songs and drama, I feel that they get along unexpectedly well.

Taking good care of one another is part of the hip hop culture. They are still a team, even if they’re a bunch of pricks. Even though they’re really rude towards each other, when Samatoki somehow got admonished by Riou, Juto would go and stop them, which is unexpected for him to show understanding towards Samatoki. That kind of relationship with each other is what makes a beautiful balance to them. They have no foundation like “I like this guy” or “I trust him” to their relationship, so I thought it would be a challenge for them to battle as a team. Therefore, I got a feeling that Yokohama Division are pretty good guys, aren’t they? (laughs).

What kind of impression do you have on Samatoki and Riou?

Samatoki is the member of the legendary team that established an era, The Dirty Dawg. Due to that fact, it gave him great amount of pride. And of course, this brings a lot of nuisance to Juto and the rest of the police force  (laughs), Samatoki’s a very stubborn man. I feel like he is a leader who will open up if I tag along with him. Juto and Riou do not follow Samatoki, but rather, stand with him as equals, so all 3 of them kept a perfect balance among each other. They might fall if one of them is missing, but if the three of them are together, they seem to be alert and stand for their own in whatever they do, which just gives a feeling of relief.  Also, Riou’s existence just felt like he’s the buffer , doesn’t he? His dishes are brutal, but it has become a key to calm the atmosphere down in a moment. (Bitter smile)

Samatoki and Juto seem to know each other from a long time ago.

Indeed. “A Yakuza whom I befriended” (laughs). I need more details on that!! Now in Chuuoku, their past wasn’t revealed as much. But I’m sure there’s been a cause and effect in the past, that’s how they are able to be in a team now. For that reason, it makes me feel like both of them are drawn to each other, or dependent on one another . They’re foils to each other,  and I find that interesting.

You’re also interested in Juto’s past, aren’t you?

This is just my imagination but, maybe, he did have an upright sense of justice when he was younger. However, the world was heavily infested by evil. With his position only as a policeman, he realized that it is impossible for him to deal with everything so he felt that despair.

Not only he became rotten, by taking in evil he could ruin things from the inside, and that seems like a good idea. Although it’s quite a dangerous thought, it does make sense in a way. I mean, he could also handle a dangerous dog like Samatoki. In that sense, he seems to be good at winning people over and is capable of adapting to his surroundings. I really want to know how his past was like!

In the drama part, Juto gave advice to Jiro and Saburo on how they’re being too dependent on their eldest brother, didn’t he?

Juto is so kind~ (to the kids) !  That why you can call him a guardian (laughs). However, it is because Ikebukuro is their opponent, that’s why you can see this side of Juto. I think he’ll be different with other teams. He’s extremely uninterested to those who can’t do anything or are talentless. It doesn’t take much time for him to crush those people down, by just saying “try to face yourself once again”. While Juto could sense the threat from the future growth of the  Ikebukuro boys, he look forward to that boiling blood of theirs. That is why, Ikebukuro team interests Juto a lot. He definitely won’t admit that, but it’s good that he’s aware of that.

Next, we are going to touch about the songs.First, please show us some key points of your solo song, “Bayside Smoking Blues”.

Basically, it’s as if you’re standing alone, smoking cigarette while watching the scenery of Minato Mirai and its surroundings. Other than that, I was told to do it as how I like. Samatoki and Riou’s solo song has other characters joining in, but for Juto’s song, it’s literally a solo song. There’s no one there to help him sing (laugh). That’s why he’s been saying “I’m a lonely only RABBIT” on every chorus, expressing that he’s a lonely only RABBIT. The hardest part of the song is obviously the rap. At the introduction part, in order to express what kind of person and what kind of position Juto has in Yokohama, I checked and try to say the very Juto-esque words like “I'll arrest you” or “Pig Pen [jail cell]” so that it remains in people’s ears. There’s no way I’d scream such foul word like “mother xxxx”, though (laughs) . Other than that, Juto being the number one brain but a bit nihilistic is beautiful. Since that’s the case, I tried to rap in a calm and charming manner so I won’t change that image.

Then how about Buster Bros!!! And MAD TRIGGER CREW’s WAR WAR WAR song?

This song has the so-called freestyle battle feels. It feels more like a stage battle rather than a song. It has the baton-passing format, so I thought that it was fun with all the clear call and responses. I responded to Jiro (Yamada) but, the recording is different. When Jiro speaks to Juto, his words are littered with sharp glares and phrases meant to knock him off his feet, that’s what I think. However, whatever their enemy says, Yokohama gathers and releases the strength to utterly annihilate them. The tension rises, to the point a policeman said “We’re cold-blooded killers” (laughs). Maybe I’m thinking about it too much, but that phrase is certainly a killer word, it’s important to me.

After listening to the complete product, how do you feel about Jiro’s rap?

Jiro is much stronger than I imagined. If someone were to record half-heartedly, it is obvious that the power balance would collapse, so everyone definitely did their best in this.

There must be a battle among the casts, aren’t there?

We do battle! Haru-kun (who plays Jiro) listens to the complete songs, even now, “that comeback is strong!” he says in regret  (laughs). “You’re strong too!” was what I thought, but it’s great to see everyone’s doing their best.

So what do you think about Yokohama Division’s song, “Yokohama Walker?”

To me, I imagine the 3 Yokohama members riding an open car (convertible), running through the sea breeze while smoking cigarette at the bayside. Juto drives, Samatoki sits at the passenger’s seat raising his legs and Riou sits diagonally in the back seat because he does not fit (laughs). They won’t talk much, driving towards any desired destination as they please. It’s as if they’re taking a short break after the whole deal in the screwed up world of theirs. The song doesn’t make me feel anything as much, but it sure do has a lot of brutal words. “The path home dirtied by blood” or Juto’s “I’ll handcuff and arrest him to kill some time” is definitely not something a policeman should say (laughs). But I don’t feel the least bit uncomfortable saying it, since it’s important for the establishment of this character. The gaps between the sound and lyrics has a meaning that’ll make the song a killer, and I like that.

Which character are you interested in Shibuya Division and Shinjuku Division?

I enjoy listening to Shibuya Division Arisugawa Dice’s song, it makes me want to sing along, so I got interested. As for Shinjuku Division, they have this peculiar vibe that is eerie, but fun. (Jinguji) Jakurai-sensei is really tall!! Our Riou is no match (laughs). I look forward on how will the song be when those two team battles. I really can’t wait to see them battle.

So other than your own song, do you like any other songs?

My most favorite song would be <Hypnosis Mic -Division Battle Anthem->. All 12 people sing in one song, singing all at once and also solo. Moreover they made their own rhythm and it was tough. The song gave the most rap feeling. I really like the feeling it gave, as if beating people one after another. Of course, this song has a demo version and I’ve already sang it before. The demo song was also sung in character, so it really is like the sample (laughs). So, I think we shouldn’t let it get brushed off.  Also, I like Ichiro’s song, “Ore ga Ichiro,” because it’s catchy, isn’t it?

<Hypnosis Mic Division Battle Anthem>’s MV also shows all of you rap, that must’ve been a big deal wasn’t it?

You can watch the MV’s fullsize for free! It's the ultimate giveaway!. The MV’s appearance is so stylish, it gave that mood of “Maybe I’ll try to do rap!” and I’m really happy for that. Of course showing the character is important, but if that’s the only thing that is showcased, the rate of being shaken off by hip hop will fall. On top of the rap, I add in characterization so that the character can be received well. “Hypnosis mic” has become the key to wow factor contents.

It seems like all the casts are having fun, too. All of you who collaborated with “Hypnosis Mic” made a Champagne Tower at a karaoke store.

Yeah we did ! Actually what happened after that is a private matter, but out came the Champagne Tower (laughs) ! First we drank to <Battle Anthem>, and the tension rises. Lastly, we drank to Champagne Gold and………… it was bubbling (laughs) 。 There’s a lot of things you can do only within “Hypnosis Mic”, so I look forward to work with everyone.

There is a second live on 26th of August, isn’t there?

Yes, you’re right. But I’m so scared on how it is going to be like. They’re definitely going to include freestyle battles! Definitely! It’s horrifying!

In the Territory Battle with Ikebukuro Division, Yokohama Division is currently leading.

But the results are very close to each other, so I can’t figure out the outcome. This isn’t about “either way, everyone will be in peace”, but the project will continue on delivering contents only to that outcome, which I think is very unique. The songs and story will definitely be designed by their victory or loss, so I feel like the listeners are truly involved in this. To have a wave of something like “You guys  gotta win!” echoing to us motivates us to not lose. That’s why Ikebukuro should be crushed…………. (laughs).

(laughs) . Finally, any messages to the fans who supported you?

As time goes by, all the songs, story and goods will be brushed up, and it’ll expand rapidly. So in order to not get left behind by the momentum, do fight along with your favorite teams, favorite songs and favorite characters. And, by all means, please listen to rap other than “Hypnosis Mic”, too. I haven’t been informed much, but it seems like there’s going to be secret plan and hidden tricks so I want to support as much as I can. And please! Make MAD TRIGGER CREW be the winner! Cast your last vote and reach out to the summit together (laughs)!