#BUT FOR TWO TWINS AND A COMPLETELY UNRELATED OTHER CHARACTER

[tenitchyfingers]

ok but fr I think Stu and Billy should be parents and be actually really loving and soft parents to Sam, while literally gutting everyone else and being protective like animals and hey so what if Sam comes out to them as queer? I could finally use my favorite line from the Chucky show, "I'm a murderer, not a monster" which god, Don Mancini you are such a real one for that

[lloydfrontera]

what do you think of the scenario if kim suho got isekai'd to lloyd's twin instead and og lloyd still exist and not have his soul kicked out?

you mean an au where he reincarnates as a completely new character that doesn't exist in tkobai?? that would be cute i guess

if he kept all of his memories i think it would be very frustrating for him to be a baby all over again. i'm thinking a mabel from baby tyrant kind of scenario lol

he'd have to wait five years until javier and julian are even born and then five years more for the plot to even start to get its grabby claws on them what with javier losing his parents at that age. i think he would do his best to stop that from happening, and while i have my doubts on how much a ten year old would be able to do for what seems to be a violent attack from,, something,, he is lloyd so i'm sure he would figure something out.

he would put a stop to og lloyd's bullying of julian for sure. he has the added bonus of also being a ten year old so there's absolutely no issue with him throwing hands with him if need be lmao

i'm thinking this kind of energy but they're both fifth graders aksddsf

lloyd would never hurt a child but does it really count if they're both eleven and also assholes lol

i don't think the restoration of fate would be very happy with him deviating the plot and stealing its darling tragic protagonist from it so early on so it would probably make javier's parents die some other way in an unrelated attack or an accident. lloyd would be devastated about it, for not being able to spare javier that pain, but as fate got what it wanted for the time being he would have no reason to be more than passingly suspicious about it.

after all it takes another fifteen years for the plot to properly start. as tragic as javier's parents dying is, their death is nothing more than a way to get javier to the fronteras where he will grow to be knight and be in the right place at the right time to become the protagonist he was always meant to be.

so lloyd gets fifteen years of peace with two loving parents, a twin he dragged kicking and screaming into being a decent person and two little brothers who think he hung the moon and stars. i think he would accidentally get a reputation for being a little genius, simply because he knows things that are far too advanced for his age but i don't think he would push to do great feats as a kid. he's got everything he wants already. he just needs to keep it like that.

i do think he would successfully stop arcos from being scammed by tordes, either because their better relationship makes arcos uninterested in whatever the guy has to offer or because lloyd sees tordes sniffing around his home and immediately starts throwing hands lol

fate would find another way to put them in trouble though. it always does.

[rontra]

Tell us about they/them lesbian Cinder with text to back it 👀

askfbhs okay but this post is like 2000 words long

statement one: doing a reading of a text, and then using that analysis to draw a particular conclusion for one's own enjoyment, is largely disconnected from the authorial intents that created said text. it's common for a piece of text to be able to be read in many ways, and for those readings to be able to used as supports for a multitude of conclusions. by no means should this post be framed as a comment on what "the canon text Means", because that is fundamentally not what we're trading in. we're not "proving" anything

statement two: cinder's character is complex, deftly written, and can be mined for a lot of meaning, much like all of rwby. there's a lot going on at all times in this show, and many parts remain to some degree an open question since the story hasn't finished yet. you can draw dozens of readings from almost everything in this work. by the same hand, some parts of this post were necessarily abbreviated for time lmao

statement three: cinder's relationship with gender SPECIFICALLY is genuinely textually interesting no matter where you go with it in the end, so if nothing else, at least enjoy Thinking About It... 😌

the core idea here is actually really simple hahaha. we'll take a scenic route though, to affix that idea into a more complete picture. a Pattern if you will

cinder is very strongly characterized by two linked ideas: the fear of being powerless, and the annihilation of the previous self that was powerless. the outward face of cinder's identity is very unstable because of the latter; a lot of conscious effort is expended trying to erase the cinder fall that once existed--the one that was at other people's complete mercy (and received nothing of the sort). cinder is always in "survival mode", trying to achieve some sense of personal safety and to avoid being perceived as weak and vulnerable. that terror and hunger nipping at cinder's heels is what leads into salem's claws--into a new grip of abuse, of course--because salem promises to solve it and give all the power cinder could want and more. yeah?

the most easy-to-track manifestation of those twin drives is, of course, where they intersect with a major piece of rwby's own thematic language: weapons! in rwby's language, weapons are closely tied to their wielder's identity--"They're an extension of ourselves! They're a part of us!", famously! (v1e2)

(...which also gives us very funny little unrelated nuggets like the eternally faceless and repressed "i was the machine, just following orders" winter having weapons whose names--if they even have any--we don't know. but that's a knowing smile for another day)

cinder was trained by rhodes to wield two swords, an idea that's later combined with archery into what we consider "cinder's weapon", Midnight. in the flashbacks of v3e7, Midnight is in its earliest and most ordinary form. this Midnight is made of normal weapon stuff like metal lmao and cinder uses it very effectively in taking down amber. HOWEVER, as soon as cinder lays hands on half of amber's power, this version of Midnight is thrown aside and destroyed: the pyre that destroys Midnight is used to demonstrate cinder's power and intimidate the Fang. after this—for the duration of the beacon arc—cinder instead uses glass to form a replica of Midnight. this "imitation Midnight" lasts until cinder is maimed by ruby atop beacon tower (and presumably medevac'ed by one of salem's other guys LMAO)

after 1) suffering this defeat, and 2) obtaining the rest of amber's power, cinder flat out stops using Midnight. beyond this point, cinder solely relies on magic to create an ever-changing roster of weapons as needed. with the completion of Autumn's power, so too is the killing of Midnight completed: as far as cinder is concerned, the "self" that was connected to Midnight no longer exists. the part of cinder's story and identity that was in Midnight has been buried and no one will ever know about it again. preferably everyone would just act like none of it ever existed and cinder has Always been powerful (and did NOT just get rent asunder by a teenager! please and thank you!)

the incremental deaths of Midnight really show the crutch that power is to make cinder feel safer and more confident, and the urge to destroy the past/the version of cinder who was not as powerful. once cinder has the maiden power, Midnight is unnecessary. it's also interesting to see that many of these magic-made weapons are visibly fractured, fragile, and expendable, which i'm sure in the Weapon Symbolism Show doesn't mean anything its fine 😭😂

anyway in this new era of relying completely on magic we start to observe another quirky aspect: rather than drawing on personal identity, cinder will frequently imitate other characters who were in some way "powerful" (or at least "impactful"). see: floating array and miló. cinder imitates people who left an impression of strength or skill; in endlessly chasing "power", cinder is nabbing pieces of what makes other people powerful and cobbling them together, to cover the "flaw" (heavy quotes) that is cinder's own identity.

without you, i am nothing.

still, what does cinder keep falling back on, like a habit you can't shake? the original! and when cinder defies salem's orders in v8, what do we finally see again, for just a brief moment? hey, i thought you were dead! for as much as cinder wants to pretend the past is dead and buried, it sure seems to be Haunting us: right there underneath the paint, as soon as cinder stops thinking about copying someone else, or is defiant of salem's control and has to rely on Just Cinder (god forbid!), there it is again.

"okay, that's fine," you might be saying, a few million words into this gigantic post, "but what does any of that have to do with cinder fall's gender". listen to me. this was all setting up very important context for the funniest thing about cinder fall.

like, anyone that's even half-awake while watching rwby will notice the huge differences between how cinder acts and looks in the beacon arc VS how cinder has acted and looked Since Then. beacon arc cinder is smooth and in control and mature and dangerous. and of course, she's feminine. i've seen people outright call this incarnation of cinder a femme fatale! and i guess i can see why; she has mystery, beauty, a little bit of seduction to sway people. she plays manipulative games. and of course, she's dangerous. cinder in the beacon arc is exceedingly threatening because of how good she is at being the underdog; when she has to use cunning instead of brute force and scheme her way uphill in both directions, she kills it! literally!

--hey that was a lot of she/her all of a sudden. hmm. let's talk about women (audience cheers) NO I MEAN. evil women (audience cheers louder)

cinder's life is strongly marked by two women in particular: the madame and salem. both of them exert an immense amount of power over cinder; when we talk about situations where cinder has been powerless, these two people are the ones that spring to mind. in cinder's world, which is very coldly divided into people who Have Power and people who Do Not Have Power, both madame and salem very much Have Power. they have maybe the Most Power It's Possible To Have, by cinder's math. this also makes them Very Important figures for our examination, because what they are will reflect back onto cinder's malleable self.

madame and salem are both feminine, both older, both powerful; examine these two and suddenly you start seeing the pieces being stolen. the mature shade of red the madame wears. salem's levelheaded control paired with her distance and mystique—(trying not to say "and her cleavage")... v8e6 even places explicit focus on the sound of the madame's high heels as a herald of incoming danger.

their bearing, their ways of navigating the world, the way they dress. their… oh my god… their gender presentation!!!

the thing about cinder fall is that the mimicry of power does not stop at weapons. this is a Pattern that extends BEYOND merely "doing the floating array trick". the entirety of beacon arc cinder, including gender presentation, is mimicry. because in cinder's mind at this point, the most powerful thing a person can be is a mysterious older femme.

to cinder, ideas traditionally associated with femininity, specifically the femininity of adult women, are explicit markers of power and threat; and these things can be picked up and worn and imitated. these things can be performed. but there's never a sense that cinder owns these things or is particularly attached to them (i mean, beyond cinder's conception of Power). furthermore, cinder doesn't fully understand how these two women operate, and (being far younger) lacks the experience to fully embody them.

(--the way cinder handles emerald in particular is very revealing of this disconnect, as the dynamic shown as early as v2 is a clear attempt to wrangle her the way salem does her own minions; but cinder fails to understand and execute the crucial part, which is tapping into what emerald actually wants. because cinder, living in their own "survival mode" priority list, can't understand or relate to what emerald wants from them. the attempts made to replicate salem's affectations only push emerald away and strain her loyalty.)

but goddamn if cinder doesn't think power is stored in the gender!

it's interesting, then, that after the beacon arc blows up and a huge L is handed to Femme Cinder, they gradually drift further and further away from this; the illusion has broken. in lockstep with their drift from salem—cinder's exile, then intentionally testing the ice to see how far salem will let them stray—the further they go, the more they assert themselves, the further they also stray away from those "markers of power" associated with salem and madame. in the era of the blink-and-youll-miss-it flash of cinder's own identity, of Midnight, we also witness the ever-increasing straying from the performance of femininity that the beacon arc cinder clung to. huh!

so, let's see, we have a very intentional and consistent streak of cinder attempting to annihilate their own identity and replace it with something else (something strong) (something no one can hurt); this theme is visible both in their armory and wardrobe. cinder is terrified of who they'll be without these masks, because that person has been victimized, betrayed, and abused by every person who had power over them. the solution cinder has in their mind is to Become So Powerful that no one can do that to them ever again, no matter what they have to do or sacrifice to get there. and a lot of that conflict is slathered in this layer of Gender Stuff! this is INTERESTING!!!! no matter what people take from this post i at least hope you can find this aspect interesting, especially if you hadn't really thought about cinder's mimicry before...

anyway the very Gendered tension in their character comes bearing down twice as hard when considering that madame verbally invokes ideas about "being ladylike" while she's abusing them, reinforcing this mental link between Being Ladylike = Having Power, Not Being Ladylike = Not Having Power (= being crushed under the (high) heel of those that Do). cinder's femininity is ungenuine at best and coerced at worst; in my opinion, that much has been gestured at pretty overtly

from here, you can draw whatever conclusions from it that you please; e.g. would cinder LIKE to claim femininity for themselves in a genuine way, or would they not? do they feel attached to it, or not? in the Midnight glimmers of cinder's own real human self—the one they try so desperately at every turn to kill and bury, by directly coöpting pieces of other people they think are powerful—what do you see there? that's a conclusion for you to draw, of course…

you've no doubt twigged by the pronoun heehoos happening in this post that i'm quite fond of they/them cinder lol. i like my non biney lesbian struggler (the lesbian part Specifically i don't have a whole post locked and loaded for, that's just because im a lesbian and i like it<3). i rotate the disconnect between cinder and their identity and their performance in my mind and go "huh! your gender is Lesbian. congrats sweet prince" well anyway i think salem shoulda been cool FOR ONCE and offered to give them top surgery when she was gluing them back together after beaconSJHBHBNSDHB

of course, there's a myriad of ways to take this and make it serve whatever gender and pronouns headcanons you like, so i'm not saying it definitely means exactly what i personally like. like i said at the start, i'm not interested in "proving" anything or whatever. i'm just observing that it's interesting, and then im applying it to beef up headcanons i personally like... so you do as you will, too 😌

but to me, no matter what final conclusion is drawn, gender is a performance and cinder fall is trapped on the stage! goodluck up there!

[spacecadet-sims]

Casting Call for @spacecadet-sims' Double Shot At Love: Beguiling the Heirs

Atticus and Imogen Gryswald are world-renown philanthropists who, up until now, have spent their time leading fast-paced, free-wheeling lives without too much of a care for finding steadiness and security (outside of monetarily).

The elder Grywalds have had enough of the near-scandal filled escapades of their darling twins, however, and have offered them an ultimatum: find spouses or be disinherited.

But where's the fun in doing anything traditionally?

Full application below the cut:

I'm looking for 14 sims to fill this double shot at love challenge; 7 for Atticus and 7 for Imogen. This will be mostly story-based with some gameplay sprinkled throughout.

Please tag me @spacecadet-sims in the post as well as hashtag #scbth application for consideration. If I do not reblog your post within a day, please message me as I may not have seen your submission.

Applications may be submitted from now until July 8th at 11:59 pm. I'm making the application process long because I work a full-time job, and mother a toddler in most of my downtime. I have some time off work over the holiday, so I'd like to gather my submissions during that time. :)

Any gender/sexuality for either. They’re both queer.

Please include the following bio with your submission:

Name: Age: Gender: Pronouns: Sexuality: Occupation: Likes: Dislikes: Favorites (music, food, etc): Traits: Aspiration: Family/Important Friends/Pets?: Short Bio: Anything other misc. information?:

Please have your characters dressed in the following: 2 casual outfits 2 formal outfits 2 party outfits at least 1 of each other outfit type

I may require additional information if I select your submission for when I'm compiling my reference page, and thereafter the story as it unfolds. :)

Quick FAQs from my last attempt at this challenge:

Can we submit more than one sim? Yes. There's not a guarantee that both will be chosen, but please feel free to submit two unrelated sims, friends, siblings, exes, etc.

Do entries need to be wealthy? No! Potential admirers can be from any socioeconomic background. The Gryswalds do not worry for wealth, and would take care of a spouse who does.

Will this be scripted? Partially! I will be taking some liberties with conversations, personalities or reactions to things. I’ll do my best to not make the contestants too out of character. I won’t be controlling the contestants beyond instructing them to complete a task when it’s needed or to pose them. I won’t initiate intimacy unless the heirs whims include it. If they’re prompted into intimacy by contestants, especially on dates, I’ll likely let it happen.

Will this be NSFW? It could be! I'll try not to show anything too graphic, but there could be instances of intimacy.

How will eliminations be conducted? Eliminations will be based on relationship levels within the romance and friendship bars. If there’s a tie, it’ll go to whoever is more attracted to the heirs. If attraction is also a tie, I’ll either use WheelDecide or ask the audience. I’ll likely ask the audience for other reasons as well.

Limitations on CC? I’d prefer you kept away from alpha hair and eye CC (as I have a preference), but all other CC is fine and accepted. I have all packs, except the most recent couple and Batuu.

[tiffany-smith]

You know, what's cool about Order of the Stick is that it dares to be a story where only half the major characters are in a romantic relationship. (Less, depending on who counts as 'major.' I'm counting just members of the Order here, not Team Evil or the various characters like the paladins, Hilgya, or Minrah they've picked up on the way.)

Haley and Elan are, like, the "token representation" characters. Roy gets tossed a girlfriend bc he's the hero ig? She's rarely around.

V had a spouse who was known about for a while offscreen, got three pages onscreen and promptly served divorce papers.

Durkon? Had an affair one (1) night which resulted in a kid 1000 strips and two irl decades later, the mom wants nothing to do with him. Otherwise probably completely celibate.

Belkar will sleep with anyone and romance nobody.

None of the paladins have relationships. Not even O-Chul and Lien, or Hinjo and Lien.

None of the long-lost parent figures are still in a relationship. Elan's parents are divorced and Tarquin had like nine wives (none onscreen, also he's Evil about it). Haley's mom and Durkon's pa are dead. Who KNOWS abt Belkars parents. Roy's are both dead and took 'till death do us part' with gusto.

None of the airship crew have any romances (except for the one throwaway gay couple who got one panel of screentime).

Team Evil does not do any of that. Not Xykon, not Redcloak, not the monster in the dark, not Jirix. Tsukiko was the only one with any relationship drive, and she got brutally murdered (unrelated reasons).

Straining to remember any other romantic relationships ever.

OH! Sabine and Nale! (But that also specifically parallels Haley and Elan, like they explicitly said 'evil opppsites.')

Therkla fell in love with Elan and it was not reciprocated (?) (he cared abt her but not like that. Not to cheat on Haley.)

The gods have their whole thing I suppose but that hardly counts.

Not even Julia, the high school hottie, is ever mentioned having a significant other.

There is one (1) actually married couple. Two soldiers who were nameless until they took offense to being called nameless soldiers and changed it. They got married and she's pregnant.

Order of the Scribble had one couple.

The cast is SO HUGE and there is SO LITTLE romance. Only half of the six-member main cast is in a relationship. Unheard-of. And of the huge cast of side characters, there are 3 only stable relationships. That's all! THATS ALL!

I love it.

Thats the real aspec rep: not just one character who doesn't care, but a whole world where that's Not The Focus.

Instead, OOTS focuses very strongly on familial relationships. Parent (singular) and child(ren). Siblings (twins). Aunts and uncles, even.

And in the midst of all that... the platonic bonds of deep friendship forged between the main cast.

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

it's that time again!

wahoo hey hi everyone i'm doing another fic roundup of a small sampling of my favorite things from this year! it's not super complete and this year it is a mix of ao3 and things posted directly onto tumblr

i know i'm going to miss a ton of awesome pieces but here's the best attempt in no particular order (also just go read stuff from all these authors anyway, they rule)

Angus McDonald and the Arcade Enigma by ceilingfan5 (ao3)

Angus takes his nephew to the arcade; they both have their eyes on unique prizes

parlay, as a gamble by anistarrose (ao3)

Merle tries to get in touch with the Red Robe but is pretty sure he's got a wrong number

One Last Dance by writtenfanworksofGab (liltaz-asatreat)

Taako and Kravitz share a final dance at the end of the world.

Tedious Familiarity by IntrovertedHappiness (barry-j-blupjeans)

A character study of Barry Bluejeans and the lives he leads in his decade alone.

Someone I Have Loved, But Never Known by anistarrose

Barry and Lup try to help each other find the spouses neither of them can remember with only their unique rings as clues.

leaving, as an injustice by anistarrose

A character study of Merle Highchurch through the eyes of Mavis

Scamming me, scamming you by Noodyl (noodyl-blasstal)

Kravitz has a grand time scamming circles around a would-be email scammer; on a completely unrelated note, Taako confesses to his crush via email.

Lovebites by Mmmarty (x)

Barry is a super devoted familiar to two twin vampires for Absolutely No Reason, Don't Be Silly

you got me used to loving you (hurry on home) by raezura (hellawrath)

Taako's got a surprise for Kravitz.

in light of last week's events by rosgoldhalberd (phantasmagoric-acquaintance)

Barry and Lup have a little talk after Lup fed on him

Keep Your Friends Close (And the Lich Who Gives You Cryptid Advice Closer) by IntrovertedHappiness

Magnus spends time trying to figure out who is good, who is bad, and who decides both of these statuses.

this ficlet by ceilingfan5

it's from the taz november celebration and i just need you to read it okay? it slaps, veritably

this celebrity au ficlet by phantasmagoric-acquaintance

the celeb twins au that lives inside hali and my head is one of my favorite things in the world and you too can get a glimpse

mallternate universe by phantasmagoric-acquaintance

come play in the mall au please it's so fun and good for the soul

once again, please please please go read literally anything from these authors, they all rule and are so fun and lovely (and also some of them have really cool original fiction stuff you should also check out!!!)

[aron-q]

Do you have any headcanons? Just, random ones that you would like to share right now?

Ok ok ok- so first of all, anybody notice the cast on lemmys foot in the Easter picture?

That's because his foot is naturally bent weirdly, so he wears a kinda cast to help him walk easier, he just doesn't need it when he's on his circus ball cus the curve of the ball lines up with the curve of his foot which makes it easy to walk with, the reason his foot is bent is due to his premature birth, Lemmy and Iggy are twins but Lemmy had to be Surgically removed from their shared egg early due to complications and he couldn't be put back because it would have been a risk to his twin, Iggy, which is also why Lemmy is shorter and not as similar to Iggy as he would have been if he hatched at the correct time WITH Iggy.

Second of all, just random fact about Iggy, he has no dietary preferences, he would eat just about anything whether it's food or not, he doesn't unwrap his candy, he eats bananas with the peels on, and along with Jr, they both randomly bite people for no reason.

Third of all, this one is unrelated to the koopalings or any major characters on the blog, but in this universe, paratroopas do not naturally have ears, and therefore they are all completely deaf and primarily communicate through sign language and dance, this was also shown in the Easter doodle I did with the two paratroopas in the corner.

(I don't know sign language btw so if I ever show it in the future, be aware that it may be wrong cus I just kinda googled it for this) The left one is just asking how many Easter eggs the right ones collected so far and the right one is saying 4, or in this case they're saying 3 because I only draw my characters with 4 fingers and their thumb is down so... ... You get the jist of it.

Fourth of all, ages have changed for the main cast aka the koopalings! Lemmy is a few weeks older than iggy, (y'know, with the premature hatching)

𝐿𝑢𝑑𝑤𝑖𝑔: 18

ᥣׁׅ֪ꫀׁׅܻ݊ꩇׁׅ֪݊ ꩇׁׅ֪݊ ᨮׁׅ֮: 17

ꙆᘜᘜƳ: 17

яσу: 15 1/2

ᥕᥱᥒძᥡ: 15

ოօɾԵօղ: 14

Larry: 12 1/2

And here are the broodals updated ages too!

కᩏꫀ᭙ꪖꪹᡶ: 21

𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒐: 19

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕: 17 1/2

Ｔｏｐｐｅｒ: 14 going on 15

That's right, toppers the baby sibling now

Fifth of all, GOD does Larry like trains!! Big trains, small trains, toy trains, real trains, toy trains that look real, real trains that look fake, red trains, blue trains, grey trains, brown trains, cargo trains, passenger trains, old fashioned trains, bullet trains, ALL THE TRAINS, he knows SO many unnecessary facts about them and he knows exactly how nearly EVERY model of train which ever existed in this universe works!!! All the inner mechanisms, all the different outer design features, he also knows all the models by name, and he has SO MANY model trains in his room, all of which are extremely detailed. (This idea is entirely based off of the fact that his paper Mario color splash battle was set on a moving train. Ps: Op has not actually played paper Mario colorsplash)

Sixth of all, dark land is VERY thoroughly covered in ash, soot, burning embers etc due to the raging lava rivers and active volcanic geysers in certain parts of darkland, so majority of any fabrics or materials used for clothing and buildings are nearly IMPOSSIBLE to set aflame, and majority of the people/species which live there have thick burn resistant skin and very strong lungs which are great at filtering the ash and stuff out in order to use the oxygen which the ash and soot is mixed with.

Seventh of all (yes I know this is getting long) none the species which natively inhabit this universe are human, the only humans here are the Mario Brothers which immigrated from the "real world" (I.e our world) which means, speaking outside of darkland, princess toadstool and princess daisy? Nonhuman, any other possible residents of this universe which would appear human in the canon Mario universe? Nonhuman as well, the princesses resemble the people they rule over a bit more than they do in the original Mario canon, you will see this when I post a picture of the meeting which Ludwig and Bowser went to during Easter at peaches castle soon.

That's all I can remember for now, lotta them were general universe "head canons" rather than koopaling head canons, but hey, who cares???

[jarkinesbrainstew]

you have mentioned your ocs. please info dump at me about them.

I wish to know :)

Ooh. A chance to info dump. This will be long.

I have a set, and then 3 unrelated characters.

The set is from a thing I did/am doing with @azures-grace that we call G², which is basically sci-fi D&D.

Tabbitha Gears is from a race of Steampunk cyborg dwarves called Steamers. She and her twin brother were separated at the orphanage, and both became clerics for the same god completely separate from each other.

Helix Digi is a Gnome, as well as a clone of a god, but he thinks he's a G-nome, which are a race of slightly modified Gnome Clones. He lost his entire planet when it exploded while he was off world. He because an assassin in the inter-planetary army before he met Tabbitha and, once his service was up, he joined her in adventuring.

Saul Greatwood is a half elf bard who's mother is a traveling assassin, so he's never actually met her. His dad was killed by a dragon and their house was destroyed. Saul moved to the city where he met his cousin and they became some of the youngest brawlers in the city.

Daniel Fireking is a human cyborg, and Saul's cousin. in a really bad accident during a match, he all but died, and lost use of most of his body. Tabbitha and Helix managed to help stabilize him and build him a new arm, leg, and half of his face. He and Saul joined the two, and now have a family.

Jebbeda Lore is a Gnome, and one of the creators of the G-nomes. He and his, at the time, girlfriend made a giant magical artefact that takes the DNA of all Gnomes and scrambles it to make completely new ones. He is Helix's template.

There's also Sergor Greystone, but I just made him a faceless villain, Azure made him a person, so I only get him on every other holiday.

On to the unrelated characters, in order or creation.

Victor Augustus Pierce is a 16 year old ex-BMXer. He crushed his leg in a really bad crash. His parents suck, and so he spends most of his time either protecting his little sister from them, or with his friend group of psychos, including a Quiet Kid, a murderer with split personality, the split personality, who is the nicest person you'll meet in that town, a mad scientist child, a 13 year old who regularly gets drunk, and, after some shenanigans, the Quiet Kid's sister who had been missing for a year.

William Foe, real name Jax Carver, is a human adventure, and one of the founding members of the largest thieves guild in a month straight of travel. He and his adopted brother, Torguk, went on one last heist before they were planning to retire. They found this chest full of jewelry, and put on the two most cursed items. They are now on opposite ends of the moral spectrum, and Torguk wants William dead. William, now bestowed with life magic, is off on a quest to break the curse on himself and his brother. He is a Barbarian who doesn't like violence.

Niq is a robot assassin, who should in no way be working. He woke up half built, half programmed,and without a power source. He was awakened by the first bit of magic in centuries, and went on to build himself a complete body, and become an assassin. That's really all I have for Niq.

[serotoninny]

Hey- hi. My sister and I grew up playing Super Paper Mario constantly. I would absolutely love to hear any and all thoughts you would like to share pls and thank you!!

HELLO! HELLO HI!

wanted to start off by saying Holy Shit!! spm was a video game me and my sister also played growing up!! we never beat it back then but recently she came home and got me hooked on it again and we played it all the way thru. we also did fun little voices for each character I got to be dimentio so that was very fun ^__^ i think Objectively its not a very hard game (which is why we were able to beat it LMAO) but what it lacks there it makes up for in STORY and super strong characters and i adore it so

IF ANYONE!! ANYONE wants to respond to anything ive said in this word soup of a post PLEASE DO!!! in the tags in the comments i just like seeing ppl talk abt whatever the hell about spm. Head canons Theories You name it

this is . a little scattered around. u do not have to read all of this but thank you for giving me an excuse to talk abt spm VVV

first of all themes of love being the answer make me wanna bawl my eyes out and i gotta be real i did tear up at the end of the game when blumiere and timpani have bounding through time ost playing and then walk out of frame. CHEFS KISS. lovely. i like how each chapter the gang goes thru has its own unique little set of townspeople and even thru little bits of dialogue u are left wanting to defeat the chaos heart even more because you dont want any of them to die YK? HEAVENS TO BETSY! THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS FOR RIGHT BEFORE CHAPTER 8 FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN FLIP/FLOPSIDE?? SHIT HURTED. npc reactions to all the shit going on were so good

one thing i WISH happened tho was. mario and luigi Sibling Love (i mean this platonically i want to specify Just in case there are any weirdos out there) Helps Save The World. i get the whole count bleck mansion part where everyone started sacrificing themselves to save the others which means they care for one another n whatnot which is good great and fantastic However i think it wouldve been COOL to see the whole gang esp the two opposing forces of Mario (prophesized hero color red) and luigi (prophesized Man In Green to contain the chaos heart and destroy the world) contribute to the reformation of the pure heart like some sorta balance between light n dark . BUT ITS FINE i love the game anyway because its probably the longest bowser luigi mario and peach have ever been on the same team

and completely unrelated, the entire premise of luigi being the harbinger of a great world ender is ALWAYS a joy. a fun little recurring gag if you will. like i cant believe this is not the only time he was the vessel for a great evil like what is up with that. every day i think abt that one luigi post abt how he's Doomed By The Narrative TM to be the Evil Twin Brother but he just chooses not to be. never not thinking abt that ever. hes so haunted by like literally everything got separated and brainwashed fought his brother aided in the destruction of the sammer guy world Died went to hell KOed spm satan got revived became GOD then saved the world. and he is some middle aged man in striped socks

MR L. GOD. that fucking guy. hes so lame. i like him so much. his theme goes SO hard in the silliest way imaginable. and i also like how even when he is brainwashed its kinda obvious he still wants mario around (see: brobot, the replacement brother). they fr tapped into luigis need to be useful and used that as is motivation to work for the count. yeowch. mr l to me is just luigi but Lots of parts of him just locked up and forgotten (plus a little minor bit of oh i dont know straight up brain manipulation, nastasia is a force 2 be reckoned with fr) Duno if im making sense here . anyway mr l is so so so hilarious to me because his one liners are so so dumb and i think the gag abt no one recognizing him is FUNNY (EVEN IF i think at least mario SHOULDVE recognized him but WHATEVS).

all of count blecks minions are . SUCH a fun little group. and while dimentio didnt give a fuck about them i still love his dynamic as the court jester whos a little bit of a bitch. the origins of them joining the group are very interesting because ochunks mimi and nastasia had been at their lowest when bleck recruited them and dimentio was like. let me in your emo band. ochunk's warrior code is something i think about a lot. he doesnt got a lot behind the eyes but hes got values he sticks to and i like that a lot in a character. him and mimi do spa days

bleck as a character makes me wanna chew through my walls. in a good way. guys who are slipping and dont want to get back up and bringing everything else down with them are fun and that is all. bonus! he still gets to be Somewhere quiet after the story's over

dimentio has to be my fave of the goons (not counting mr l). not surprising because hes just. so. ...... He is the Way That He Is. his little similes are so stupidly funny for no reason and i think being a Silly Guy and also a Guy With Ulterior Motives are the two funest traits a character can have. His ambiguous past is so interesting like yes bitch hide behind the mask keep cards up your sleeve dont let them know your next move!! something interesting i read somewhere was that. even after luigi the chaos heart and dimentio were separated that there were bits still mixed up between them, linking them not only prophetically but on the atomic level is a headcanon im tucking close into my heart . terrifying as it is super fucking rad !! luigi cannot escape the harbinger of doom allegations

dimentio and luigis entire dynamic is the best thing ever. because dimentio is a goddamn weirdo and luigi is. and i cannot stress this enough. JUST a fucking GUY. luigi is like "ill stop you you ne'er do well!" and dimentio responds with "im killing us both<3ciao!" why does every luigi villain wanna be no children mountain goats with SO BAD. they should keep doing it

god. the way mario is the mc and barely has a role in most of the story other than being The Hero of the Light Prognosticus is both a little annoying and also kinda sick /pos. annoying because mario is one of my faves and i want him to participate in the story more (not really a diss on the writing i just like him) but also kinda sick because . the way everyone in the game talks abt the hero from the prophecy is so. soooooooooooo. god. like everyone in favor of all worlds Not Ending preparing THOUSANDS of CENTURIES in advance just for mario to arrive. Pixls were locked in boxes and hidden away WAITING for him and its like. if he could talk back. i wanna know how he thinks abt all this. because throught the entire story You as the player kinda fuck things up for people in pursuit of the pure hearts. and mario cant rly SAY anything abt it cus its not Really his story, but MAN. what i would give for a little development on his end of the lineup during a few points like 'wilting' king croacus, figuring out squirps is now orphaned because he had to stay alive long enough to help the heros, Luvbis Entire Deal, and figuring out mr l was luigi all along. SIGH

i dont know much about the pixl war, but all of that lore is so cool to look into. ive got like surface level knowledge. even then i only rly care abt the history when im thinking abt the personalities of the pixls themselves. cus like they get their little moment in the spotlight and then they Never speak Again. dottie and cudge and fleep are some of the more memorable ones for me and i wish it was possible to hear more of them. but alas

squirps. :( in my heart. in my heart and soul. bowser takes squirps under his wing. forms an alliance with his kingdom (assuming. squirps takes over from where his mom left off). peach would of course also form an alliance with him. IDK. squirps is the Only One out of every major side character in the game who didnt really get a happy ending. while not everyone NEEDS one i think he deserves one. and in my perfect world he is being guided by two more experienced rulers (bowser isnt doing much in terms of teaching him good diplomacy but he sure as hell is getting him to hang out with kids his age like Jr).

bowser was so funny this whole game. love when evil guys get domesticated a little. thats all about him

PEACH. PRINCESS PEACH. god i love her. the way she was the only person to resist nastasias brainswashing AND her fucking umbrella is the most cracked defense in the World. blowing a kiss to the wind. for peach

ok so i cant think of anything else to say and i havent proofread this. if YOU, dear viewer, love super paper mario i need you to never shut the fuck up ever. there are like 12 of us

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

ooh!! Cheryl of course for your unhinged character bingo please 🙏!

Explanation under the cut, as is custom. <3

Cheryl Blossom really checks all the boxes for me. Every single one.

Daddy issues. Mommy issues. Same, bro. I want her to be happy forever, but I will also torture her in fanfic because I love her and hate myself. (It's more love than self-loathing though, I promise. I just need her to fight my demons so we can both fucking heal.)

I'm putting her in a snowglobe and SHAKING IT. I am casting her in bronze and admiring her in my garden. I'm chewing on her leg.

She is the saddest, wettest cat in a cardboard box and I'M TAKING HER HOME to cherish her forever. I'm putting her in a blender and bloody is splattering everywhere.

I would take a COMET to the face for her.

When people talk shit about her (beyond reasonable criticism or outside of a funny joke) I genuinely see red. Ba dum tsssss. But also, Cheryl-haters should steer clear. I have violence in my heart about this woman.

You already KNOW I'm working on a dissertation about her to be completed later this year. It could easily be 10 hours, but I'm editing it down because I am applying for sainthood and it's my first miracle. <3

All joking aside (not really), Cheryl Blossom is one of a kind to me. She captures everything I love and hate about myself. I see so much of myself in her that I can't help but love her and I can't help but roll my eyes and laugh at her.

She's the clown in me. The woman-fucker. The firestarter. The bitch. The broken bird. The ice dancer with a plan. The witch no one believes. The madwoman and the saint. We're the mothers we never had and the fathers we flinch away from. We're unrelenting and utterly doomed. We're obsessed with ourselves in way that's deeply exhausting but utterly inevitable considering "she's just like that" and "no one listens to her". We're processing through art. We also both mellowed out over the years after a period of self-imposed isolation. We're both so tender with those we love. Neither of us know how to show it very well sometimes. We're both WAY too much.

The biggest difference is that she's high femme and I am the dyke version of Skrillex (Not intentional, but it's been said several times now). She uses fashion as her shield. I use piercings. I am both envious of her femme aesthetic and hopelessly attracted to it.

The other big difference is that she is moneyed and I grew up with nothing. Amazing how similar we are considering that. Childhood trauma really IS that powerful.

When I was in my early 20's, I suffered a drug-induced psychotic break where I genuinely believed I was a prophet sent from God to save the world. (I recovered and have since learned that maybe my proclivity for madness, drama, and drugs should no longer mix.) But god damn it, I understood exactly when she suggested that even though she probably wasn't a living saint, wouldn't that be miraculous?

When I was a kid, my "proverbial" twin died suddenly and I have carried the weight of his death ever since. We live two lives. Our own and the expected one of the dead other. Twice the pressure and, shockingly, twice the disappointment, but never twice the love. (Not a literal twin, but one of a pair.)

If she were real, we would fuck each other to death and leave nothing but a pile of ash.

[meidozangetsuha]

You have plenty of salt despite how much you genuinely like Yashahime so... how about this: got any salt regarding Rin in particular?

OK AS A SESSRIN SHIPPER THIS IS A REALLY FUN ONE HOLD ON THIS HAS BEEN BUGGING ME FOR FUCKING AGES NOW

this is JUST my take feel free to disagree but i feel like there's lowkey

two Rins in this same show, that we see in S2. these are almost two separate characters but both are married to Sesshomaru, both were in the tree, and both are the parents of the twins

and like. i REALLY like one of these Rins

(sorry about this horrible awful quality i'm on my work computer and don't wanna go take screenshots properly so i'm just using really old shitty phone pics i took a long time ago)

LIKE. I REALLY LIKE THIS RIN. i like the Rin that literally held a fucking decomposing virus sword to her neck and outright told her husband "if it'll keep our kids safe then don't hesitate to cut off my head" or when KNOWING she couldn't do SHIT against Kirinmaru like... literally at MOST buying her kids like, three more seconds to live (and i might be REALLY generous with three seconds, just because i like Rin) knowing that Kirinmaru would just instantly slaughter her but still be willing to do that because she's a mom and that's her precious family she loves with all her heart

and then we get to shit like, "i can't hug you yet even though running up to you and hugging you before you could even Not Hug Me Back would've been what was most ic for me," stupid-ass bullshit, generally being extremely passive (which makes sense in some capacity considering she can't fight) and just kind of once again feeling like a character who only really follows around what Sesshomaru does and says

(i know that scene in the last episode is. VERY infamous and kind of well-deserved but like while i do agree that it was NOT the right art and voice acting direction i UNDERSTAND what it was TRYING to accomplish which i think is kind of in-line with the Rin i really like so i'm not as harsh on it as others even though it was given incredibly poor direction in how to be executed which is creating discourse about it To This Day)

like, i KNOW this was a filler episode, but remember that one episode where Jaken was poisoned and Rin, this little kid, completely on her own basically went into demon territory and risked her life just to get the herbs that would save Jaken? (correct me if i'm wrong about this one i THINK this is how it went it's been like over a year since i saw the movie) the kid that in third movie wanted to try to bodyblock Setsuna no Takemaru from being able to reach Kagome because even though Kagome was stronger than her, she wanted to protect someone she cared about?

i feel like ONE of the Rins in HNY is absolutely that little girl grown up and now a mother and still having that fire in her she's had her entire life and the other is. really just kind of there to follow Sesshomaru around. i really love one of these Rins a lot and the other Rin i'm. kinda apathetic about. i know there's only realistically so much she COULD have done being the one normal person among all these fighters with powers but STILL i feel like we only got to see that Rin in like, glimpses, which is a shame bc i REALLY like that Rin that has the biggest balls of pretty much everyone in this entire franchise

and that is my Rin salt ty for coming to my ted talk i need to make rp icons of Rin at some point that's unrelated to anything but i should go icon Rin one day

[quibbs126]

Randomly I just remembered this old character and story I made back junior year high school

Basically the plot started off as being about how this one villain actually had a crush on the hero he fought against, but it kind of spiraled into its own thing

Our main protagonist, aka the villain, is a guy named Sunni, and this is the only art I have of him (it’s pretty old, I’ll probably redesign him at some point)

I don’t think Sunni was intended to be the main protagonist, or at least he and the hero he fought against shared the role, but he’s the one basically everything was written around, as well as the only one who’s name I can remember, so screw it, he’s the protagonist

Also he’s supposed to be half dragon. Magic creatures exist in this world but it’s still modern and humans also exist, and I didn’t really think it through

Anyways, so Sunni is part of this group of villains, but truthfully he’s pretty low on the ranking system, he does a lot of minor things, the story would basically just follow him and his subordinates doing stuff. He does still have a crush on the hero who goes to stop him, which would be this guy

(Disregard the guy in the corner, he’s from something unrelated)

All I remember about him is that he has ice powers, and he generally seems bland and minimalistic, but he’s just kind of like that and he has nuances to him that Sunni appreciates about him (when they aren’t fighting that is)

I think in the original, the only reason Sunni is a villain is because he wants to get the attention of his crush and doesn’t know how else to do it. He’s not really a bad guy he just got in over his head and accidentally stumbled into where he is now. I feel like I should give him an actual reason for sticking around and being a villain other than this but I’m not sure what

Also people in this world have magic powers, which they aren’t born with, but rather they get their hands on this orb thing that they ingest and it gives them powers. Sunni however does not have any because he doesn’t actually know where you’re supposed to get them, it’s more like an open secret, they aren’t just distributed around the world. However, so many people can get their hands on them, including actual children, that he feels like if he asks anyone he’ll look like a complete moron and become a joke, so he’s trying to figure out without letting it on that he doesn’t know. He gets by through sheer ingenuity and some mechanical talent

Let’s see, other characters

Well there are his three subordinates, that being two twin kids, one with the power to separate things, including himself, and the other being able to fuse things together, and then there’s his other subordinate who’s powers I don’t remember, only that she was more a femme fatale, her grandfather is a siren and her grandmother a selkie, and she’s also casually dating Sunni’s boss. Which he knows about but he doesn’t know what to do with this information, it’s just really awkward to him (note that this lady is like at least in her 30s, she’s not a young adult/teen like Sunni)

Speaking of his boss, she’s basically the person who runs the villain group/organization he’s a part of, and she controls black holes, which is why she’s considered so dangerous. Also her and the other lady’s romance are like a casual subplot that shows up every now and again

One other thing I remember about this story is that there would eventually be a plot where everyone who has powers (which is a lot of people, at least in the cast) one night suddenly becomes incapacitated, because there’s something affecting the orbs that give them power. And since Sunni doesn’t have powers, he’s unaffected and has to try and figure out what’s going on and how to stop it by himself

I think that’s all I remember about it. I’m kind of invested again, but I also notice some issues here and there, and I want to go and see if I can redo some things

Oh another thing I just remembered, Sunni eventually had a thing where after finding out his crush liked women (his crush is bisexual but Sunni’s not really aware of that), he disguised himself a woman and as a completely different person to see if that would get him to hang out with him, and they did eventually become friends that way, though his crush didn’t know this was Sunni. This didn’t mean anything when I wrote it but maybe it should. Or I should take it out

[twilightsparklehatesproshippers]

i have a question and if this makes you uncomfortable i am so genuinely sorry . i really hope this is okay to ask

i recently saw a post asking if selfcest is part of proship.

i’d consider myself an anti, and admittedly selfcest makes me uncomfy but it feels morally fine . it’s not real like pedophilia and incest are

what are your thoughts?

Well, this is a tough question.

In my opinion, it depends on context. Like if they're the same person in theory but completely different and unrelated otherwise, maybe it's okay? Still a little odd to me but I can shrug it off as simply something odd.

However, normally the stuff I see isn't something that makes sure to separate the two characters so it comes across as incestuous - like when they're calling the same characters their family or things like that. It reads closer to shipping twins together most of the time and it's very uncomfortable. Like with the Loki series and how they pulled that weird shit with pairing him with Sylvie like they don't have the same family and childhood which was brought up an uncomfortable amount of times. Makes it feel like they're literally siblings when they pull that.

So in short - characters that are "the same" as in the same character in concept but otherwise completely unrelated to the other - mostly okay. But being like "they're exactly the same biologically and have the same family and everything" - very weird and to me it's no different from pairing siblings together since that's basically the same dynamic.

But I guess it depends on the individual and how they see it but this is just how I've sort of dissected the issue myself. Most of the time it treads pretty close to proship territory and I don't like that.

[rrosiepetals]

Man oh man… where do I even begin with this? I had a bad taste in my mouth ever since I read that mini comic about Clem leaving AJ and the rest of the school to go off on her own. It went against everything Clementine had stood for and experienced on her journey. It set the tone for the rest of the book, and I tried to approach it with a more open mind... and now that I've read it all, let me just say... this was a mess. So, from this point on I’ll get into spoiler territory just in case you want to go into this blind:

I’ll list the aspects of the book that I liked before going into my problems with it:

• I liked Amos. I know a lot of us thought he'd be the new potential love interest for Clem that made our eyes roll, but he was a breath of fresh air. He was just a happy go lucky boy (perhaps a little too trusting of others), but he had his heart in the right place. His only goal was to fly in a plane, which was simple but yet heartwarming, and I was rooting alongside him to succeed. He had some good moments bantering with Clem and kept his hopes high even when the situation was grim.

• There were a couple of flashbacks involving Clem, Lee and AJ which instantly made me want to replay the game again.

• Tim is a hero and he got done so dirty. He had some history with the twins which wasn’t expanded upon long enough sadly but his scenes were nice.

———————-

Yep that’s all I can think of, but now it’s time to discuss the problems:

• Aside from the characters I've already mentioned, there are number of characters that were unlikeable. Clementine reminded me of ANF Clem, with her 'edgy' attitude of not trusting anyone and preferring to be alone all the time. This didn’t feel like Clem to me at all actually, she felt like a completely different character. As if TFS had no influence on her character development.

• The “evil” twins are just bland and they’re straight up assholes. Left (Olivia) wasn’t all too bad but Right (Georgia) made me want to reach in the book and slap her.

• Ricca… oh Ricca. Stop trying to butt into Clem’s business. She gets all upset when Clem doesn’t tell her everything that’s going on and at points gets up in her face. “You’re supposed to tell me what’s going on.” Like?? You barely know her and you’re already trying to act as her girlfriend. I wouldn’t call her Clem’s gf at this point, I don’t feel the chemistry between them since the pacing was all over the place here. Violet and Louis had such distinct personalities that meshed well with Clementine’s, here I don’t feel anything from Ricca.

• Oh speaking of Violet and Louis, they get no mention so :,)

• The dialogue feels all over the place and unnatural to where one character says something unrelated to the situation and it trails off from there.

• The art isn’t all bad but I wish it was in color because most of the time I can’t tell what’s going on from how crowded it feels.

• The flashbacks I mentioned, while they were nice callbacks… they only lasted for a page or two and then are cut short, they felt like they were only there to remind you “Hey remember this? This is what you guys liked right?” I wish they’d been longer.

• Clementine’s “goal” was just so that she could be alone to prevent herself from seeing other people die when… she’s going out on this journey, joining new people and seeing them die. This makes no sense, she was much safer at the school than anywhere else. Just imagine how AJ must feel, after all those hardships, after that talk about “Never go alone.” I guess that never mattered.

———————-

I'll stop here, but those are my main points. Overall, I enjoyed some aspects of this book, but they were overshadowed by its flaws. Then we have to wait another year for book two, which I don’t know how it will take off from there. What did you guys think? Please let me know, and feel free to spoiler tag it if you wish. Thank you!

[minorisato]

viva misery! nothing's ever gonna-???

original work / NA / wc: 1343 / warnings: NA / notes: angel twins angel twins angel twins. created these characters for my class :) / consider commissioning me!

“So, get this,” Elmyra starts, “they’re closing Take Ten.”

Remilia raises an eyebrow at her counterpart, taking a sip from her milkshake. “So?” She asks, “They close stores in the mall every day. It’s a dying art. Take Ten wasn’t exactly special.” As far as Rem could remember, Take Ten sold clothes that only pandered to the most basic of audiences– trend hoppers who went from one to the other to the other, buying new wardrobes every three months, tossing their old ones when they went out of style. A complete waste of resources.

Elm shrugged. “I dunno, we spend most of our time here. I figured you would wanna know.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn and chomped it down. “You never know. Could be Kuroworld next.”

“You take that back,” Rem hissed, scowling. “Kuroworld better not close.”

Elm huffed, smirking. “It might. That style isn’t as popular here as it used to be. Not since Death Knell disbanded. Death Knell was, like, all this town had, and now it’s a ghost town again. Literally.” She leaned back, chuckling. “So all black is kinda out in Bractport, y’know.”

“Malls are also, apparently, kinda out in Bractport. I can’t believe we got stationed here. I wanted to go to Tokyo,” Rem sighed, stirring her milkshake. It was almost empty, the brown-white liquid clinging to the bottom, her straw unable to properly reach. She stood, dusting off her skirt, platform boots stomping against the linoleum as she made her way to the trash can. “Do you think I should get another?” She asked Elm, as it sunk down among the rest of the trash.

“I thought you were trying to lose weight,” Elm chuckled, retrieving a notebook from her hemp backpack.

“I don’t care that much.”

“Sure,” Elm smirked. “Aren’t you supposed to be tutoring me?”

“Tutor yourself,” Rem told her, “I just told dad that so he would let us stay out later tonight.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Elm asked, “Are you kidding? I’m gonna fail my Bio class, you bitch!”

“Don’t call me a bitch, bitch! I don’t even take Bio!”

They did this everyday, same argument as always. To an outsider, this would look like two completely unrelated people getting into a fight– this was, of course, because Rem had put an effort into differentiating herself from her twin. Bleaching her hair and dressing in a distinct gothic-girly style went a long way– her almost-white hair compared to Elm’s light brown, her black ruffled skirts compared to Elm’s skinny jeans and crop tops. It did nothing, however, to change that they shared the same vocal chords, the same height, the same body type, the same wings and same halo. Remilia and Elmyra Dovelock couldn’t be more different, and at the same time, they couldn’t be more similar.

And, whether they liked it or not, they were stationed in Bractport, the Angel Security Kill Squad (ASKS– nice acronym, terrible name) placing them there to “keep peace on the Earthly plane” and “make sure those damn phantom wannabes don’t kill half the population” or something. Some got stationed in London, some got stationed in Moscow, and Remilia and Elmyra managed to get stationed in Bractport– population 6742, twelve years behind the rest of the country.

It was then, during this argument (which was the same as all their other arguments,) that Elm’s phone began to ring and vibrate on the table.

“Oh, shit, it’s boss.” She cleared her throat, and answered the phone with her best customer service voice. “Hey boss! Me and Rem just got to the mall, what’s up?”

As Elm hadn’t bothered to turn on her speaker, all Rem could hear from the other end was vague mumbling. As their employer spoke, Elm nodded along, with a few “mhms,” “uhuhs,” and even one “oh.” Rem leaned over the table, in an attempt to hear, but still, the words remained incoherent. Elm smacked her shoulder in an attempt to get her to sit back down, which failed, only spurring Rem on to lean in further.

“Okay boss, no worries, we’ll get right on with that.” Another moment, more mumbling. “Yeah, alright, Fifth Street, I get it. See ya.” As Elm hung up the phone, she leaned back in her chair, letting out a groan.

“What’d he say?” Rem asked, still leaning over the table.

“Wraith Club on Fifth,” Elm replied, shoving her notebook back into her backpack. “We gotta get going, c’mon.”

“Seriously?” Rem sighed, grabbing her own bat-winged backpack.

“What else does boss call for?”

“I dunno, maybe we get a raise?”

“We don’t get paid,” Elm reminded her twin, raising from her chair, chunky heels clacking against the tile. “Our payment is getting to stay on Earth.”

Rem huffed. “It’s not our fault that Heaven is boring.”

“Correct, it’s not. Earth is more interesting.” Elm paused. “Have you ever gone down to Hell, actually?”

Rem shook her head. “No, have you?”

Elm shrugged, tossing the rest of her popcorn into a nearby trashcan. “I ran files down there once, but I didn’t really go in. Boss woulda had a fit if I did, I think.” She smirked, making her way out of the Bractport Mall Food Court, Rem following behind her. “I’ve heard it’s a constant party down there, though. Sounds fun enough.”

“Too hot for me,” Rem figured. “Earth has more variety.”

Elm, always one to keep a scrunchie on her, pulled her hair up into a ponytail. “What’s the fastest way to Fifth from here?”

Rem shrugged. “I dunno, can’t we just fly?”

“No, we can’t just fly,” Elm scoffed. “We’re supposed to be undercover, remember?”

“Maybe we should ask someone?”

“If we just ask, they’ll be wrong, and we’ll get lost.”

“You literally do not know that,” Rem groans. “If we don’t ask then we will also get lost.”

Elm tapped her chin, thinking. “We could call and ask dad?”

“Absolutely not!” Rem shut down, grimacing. “Dad doesn’t even like us being out late to begin with! I literally told him I was gonna tutor you here at the mall and that was the only reason he let us stay out this late to begin with. Normally we would be home by now.” Rem crossed her arms. “If you don’t wanna ask for directions, we’re just gonna need to fly. We can spot the Wraith Club better from above anyway.”

Elm continued to think for a moment, tapping her foot. Eventually, she relented. “Alright, fine, we’ll go outside and find a very secluded spot so we can transform and take off. But I swear, if someone sees and we get in trouble with boss, I’m gonna tell him it was your idea.”

“I kind of expected you to blame me anyway,” Rem admitted. “Did boss mention what the Wraith Club looked like? Who they were possessing?”

“See, that’s the thing,” Elm started, “normally when it’s a Wraith Club, they possess a bunch of different people all in the same area, right? But these Wraiths were all on this one guy.” Rem tilted her head in confusion as Elm continued. “And boss didn’t say it was anyone important. Which is probably a good thing, ‘cause that dude’s probably dead by now. Walking corpse.”

Rem winced. “Walking corpse?”

“Probably?” Elm shrugged. “When people get possessed by one Wraith, it makes them super sick. Imagine being possessed by, like, five. Or more.”

“I can’t imagine it,” Rem countered, deadpan. “We’re immune.”

“I know that, idiot,” Elm scowled, pushing the Mall entrance open, allowing the two outside. “I’m just telling you to imagine it. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s kinda weird, is all I’m saying, a bunch of them on this one nobody.”

“He was probably a freak or criminal or something,” Rem figured. “Wraiths are attracted to people with a guilty conscience, remember? Makes them easier to possess.”

“Yeah, but still, normally it’s not this bad.”

“Whatever,” Rem sighed. “We fly now?”

Elm tsked. “Yeah, whatever, sure. We’re still in public, but sure. Transform and fly now.”

[dangeroustimemachinehologram]

Review Mass Effect Andromeda: The devil is not so terrible as he is painted

 There are few games that present space exploration in an interesting way while offering an intriguing story and interesting characters. In 2003, Star Wars fans received Knights of the Old Republic from BioWare, which is fondly remembered to this day. When it turned out that this Canadian developer is working on a new game that will take us on a journey between the stars - it didn't take long to persuade me to play the first Mass Effect.

But the trilogy focusing on Commander Shepard and the Reapers came to an end in 2012, when we learned the story of the war with the machines threatening the Milky Way. The action of the latest installment of the series takes place hundreds of years after those events, so it is not their direct continuation - which gave the Canadians a free hand in creating the story. And while not everything in the game shines, such as character animations or the artificial intelligence of companions, Mass Effect: Andromeda has a few aces up its sleeve - and the intertwining intriguing plot threads are fortunately one of them.

The year is 2176. Jien Garson begins a project called the Andromeda Initiative, bringing together most species of the Milky Way capable of space travel. The goal is to travel to the Andromeda galaxy, more than 2 million light years away, to find a new home there. In 2185, four arks, each with 20,000 colonists, and a space station known as the Nexus set off into the unknown. The journey lasts exactly 634 years, and our adventure begins in 2819 in the Heleus Cluster, where seven "golden worlds" suitable for settlement are waiting for hopeful travelers. However, not everything goes according to plan. This is Andromeda's backstory. Each Ark carries representatives of one of the races that can boast of being represented on the Citadel Council - so we have humans, asari, turians and salarians here. What's more, all ships have their own Pathfinder, a specialist who will serve (along with the team) as the main scout and representative in the event of contact with an alien civilization. The pioneer of the human ark, named Hyperion, is Alec Ryder, a former soldier of the N7 special forces (which also included Shepard) and a member of the first human expedition through the mass relay in the Milky Way. His team includes, among others, two of his children - Sara and Scott.

It is one of the siblings that we play in the new Mass Effect. This is quite a neat solution that does not eliminate the other twin from the game but only moves him (or her) to the background. The biggest mistake the creators could have made would have been to give Sara or Scott a completely marginal role. However, this did not happen, because the protagonist's sister (in my case) is still an important character in the plot ... although I would not mind if this role was more significant.

Sara/Scott is not a seasoned and famous war hero, unlike Shepard. The role of the guide falls on his shoulders suddenly, in an atmosphere of great expectations and hopes, with a simultaneous lack of faith on the part of the command in Ryder Jr.'s abilities. For this very reason, I learned very quickly not to blindly trust any flattery - sometimes it was only the result of the political game being played on the Nexus. And as I got to know the stories unrelated to the main story line, I quickly discovered that the world of the new Mass Effect also has its own House of Cards ... Several different threads intertwine in the story presented in Andromeda. Starting with finding a new home for the colonists staying in cryostasis, through establishing an alliance with the angara race inhabiting the Heleus Cluster, ending with finding the remaining arks. In all this we also have the kett, i.e. the "main bad guys" with the Archon as their leader, and the above-mentioned political and criminal threads.

BioWare has focused on a multitude of stories, each of which is more or less engaging. I liked the part about exploring the unknown and following the clues leading to a significant intrigue, the details of which I won't mention - figuring it out on your own is really satisfying. In addition, all the time we learn the secrets of the Ryder family and the reasons for the involvement of Alec, the father of the twins, in the Initiative ... and these can surprise.

BioWare has focused on a multitude of stories, each of which is more or less engaging. I liked the part about exploring the unknown and following the clues leading to a significant intrigue, the details of which I won't mention - figuring it out on your own is really satisfying. In addition, all the time we learn the secrets of the Ryder family and the reasons for the involvement of Alec, the father of the twins, in the Initiative ... and these can surprise us.

In addition to the plot, which was the brightest point of the previous parts of Mass Effect for me, a very important and well-covered aspect is also the relationship with the crew of the Tempest ship, our means of space travel. The Companions may not be the most innovative team in the galaxy - the turian Vetra is a bit of a mix of Garrus and Tali, Cora is a military version of Miranda, and Drack is just a krogan. Against the background of this whole group, the angarian, i.e. Jaal, stands out the most - relations with him are full of humor based on getting to know each other and different customs. For the first time in the Mass Effect series, I also met a character who simply annoyed me, but maybe you will like Liam.

It must be admitted that the limitation of the team dealing with the ship was good for the game. There are a total of 11 people on board Tempest with the protagonist (including six companions), each of whom has their own tasks. Very often we come across members of our team in various parts of the ship, conversing with others or going about their own business.

There are many more possible interactions than in previous installments of the cycle, the terminal with messages returns, and the whole thing is complemented by an information board where the crew leaves messages - something like a simplified Reddit or discussion forum. Add to this a great undertaking, which is a film screening prepared for our merry company. I assure you that it will be one of those tasks whose finale is remembered for a long time.

However, there is a small spoonful of tar in all this - setting the action in another galaxy offered a lot of opportunities for new races, which unfortunately were not used. In Andromeda, we only get to know kett, angara and Remnant... remember how it was in the first Mass Effect? Asari, batarians, elcor, geth, hanar, krogan, quarians, salarians, turians, and volus all in one game that was faster than Andromeda.

The Andromeda Initiative is an endeavor that has brought many races of the Milky Way to work together. Its goal was to send scientists, explorers, and colonists on a journey to the Andromeda galaxy - with a one-way ticket. The main task was to establish a permanent presence in the new place and, if possible, to create an easier and more reliable route of travel between galaxies.

The first thing that catches your eye is the beautiful views. The planets explored by the crew of the Tempest spaceship are based on well-known patterns (desert, snow, or jungle), but this does not change the fact that they look really amazing visually. As for the soundtrack, it's nice to listen to, but in my opinion, it's not as catchy as the music from the original. The advantage of Mass Effect Andromeda is also the fact that the gameplay has been perfectly tailored to the theme of space exploration, thanks to which individual elements and mechanics do not seem forced in any way, as it happens in many modern games. While traversing successive planets, our hero establishes and protects new colonies, solves the problems of settlers, and collects resources.

Among the novelties in the mechanics of the game, the jetpack and the scanner deserve special attention. The first clearly increases the dynamics of the skirmishes, and the second helps in finding clues and gaining knowledge about the surrounding world. Although the scanner is clearly inspired by the Witcher Sense, calling it a copy would be far too simplistic. Kudos to the creators for the character development system. It is best described by the adjective "flexible", because it allows you to freely combine the special abilities of the soldier, biotic, and engineer. My hero was as proficient with a sniper rifle and an assault rifle as he was with biotic powers.

The biggest problem of Mass Effect Andromeda is the lack of originality, both in the sphere of model design and plot solutions. It is irritating to see that life in a galaxy far, far away is not much different in form from Earth, and so are the products of alien civilizations. This lack of imagination from poverty can be blamed on the accepted convention, but the disgust still remains. Critics also accuse Andromeda of having only two races added to the pantheon of aliens. At first glance, it does seem like a flaw, but not when there are different factions among both colonists and aliens who have their own motives. This solution seems to me much more interesting than three or four additional, but monolithic, and therefore simply boring races.

As for the plot and side plots, BioWare again served us a story from the series find "x" of something / someone and access the ending. I really don't understand the sudden indignation caused by the secondary character of the main plot. Guys, have you had any contact with other BioWare games at all? The Canadian studio hasn't created an original plot since at least Knights of the Old Republic. The exception is the second part of the Dragon Age series, which unfortunately fared poorly in other fields. Don't get me wrong, the story and side missions are well done, but without much flair. If BioWare has already copied some solutions from The Witcher, I don't understand why it chose the unfortunate scanner, and not invested in a designer/writer. Against the background of the rest, some additional tasks shine, especially those that are performed for individual crew members. Unfortunately, they also clearly show how the plot was botched.

The new Mass Effect also struggles with technical errors, such as mediocre facial animations, which will forever remain the object of malicious jokes, and at the same time Andromeda's showcase, occasional frame rates, or occasional texture loading. In terms of mechanics, I am annoyed primarily by the automatic crouching during combat, due to the fact that the hero likes to get up at the least opportune moment, as well as the lack of weapons in Nomad. The multiplayer mode, which is based on defeating waves of enemies together with other players and completing minor quests, is certainly a nice addition, but I see a few places where the extra funds would be much better used.

Giving Andromeda a final note is not easy. On the one hand, it's still good old Mass Effect. On the other hand, clichés, some technical errors, and not always the right solutions. The new Mass Effect is undoubtedly the product of a great craftsman, but unfortunately, it lacks a lot to be a work of art. If you need a benchmark, in my personal ranking Andromeda is above the third part of the series, but still below the second and first. Anyway, I encourage you to give the latest installment of the series a chance, because it is not as bad as some critics paint it, quite the opposite. Just don't expect fireworks like The Witcher.